Five Minute Family

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Let's discuss privilege. Now, we are not saying “check your privilege” in the current, woke, political way. So, please don't check out on us. As Christ-centered families, we need to understand what special advantages or disadvantages we have in order to better serve in this world.First, let's define what privilege actually is. Oxford Languages says privilege is “a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group.” Now, that definition can be used in many ways, but Collins Dictionary brings it more to the point we want to discuss today: “Someone who is privileged has an advantage or opportunity that most other people do not have, often because of their wealth or connections.”Think briefly about the child raised by musical parents who are able to help him outside of his piano lesson time because they have musical knowledge, too; he gets the advantage of extra instruction and guided practice time. The young adult who wants to start a business with a relative in that business can talk over a family meal instead of scheduling an appointment during the work day with someone in that industry - an opportunity that not everyone starting out will have.The grandchild who inherits family land and has a family member with a tractor who can come and bushhog for only the cost of fuel or maybe even for free.The subdivision family who has kind neighbors who bring a meal when they hear that someone in the family is injured. Obviously, the examples could go on and on. The reality is that there are many, many people out there who do not have the privilege of a support system of helpful family, close friends, and caring neighbors. Likewise, there are folks who aren't around the lingo, expectations, and unwritten rules that go along with being part of a specific community, even church. Before you judge the person who isn't participating in a dinner out because she doesn't have money for a babysitter… Before you judge the person walking down the street filthy, spending two times as much money for the milk at the closest store within walking distance because they have no way to get to the more cost-effective store… Before you judge the parent who put their child on a device at the restaurant… Before you judge the child who is screaming their head off for not getting a piece of candy… Before all of that, pray and realize the beautiful privileges God has given you.Yes, some will still want to weaponize the word ‘privilege' in racial discussions. Some want to weaponize this word in their own jealousy. But, let's discuss biblical privilege and explore what God would have us understand about the concept of privilege.Remember, we believers - no matter what skin color, nation, or culture we have - we believers have the same eternal privilege. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”Also, we believers have the Holy Spirit indwelling us so we can express the fruit of the Spirit even when our flesh calls out for the opposite. Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.”We believers grieve with hope. 1 Thessalonians 4:13 “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, concerning those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve like the rest, who have no hope.”These are privileges that we did nothing for: Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”You know, I didn't realize how truly privileged I am to be married to a good and Godly man who even when he messes up, repents and asks for forgiveness. It is, apparently, a small group of women who have men like that....

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Does your family use nicknames? Many of us have affectionate, endearing nicknames to our friends and family members. Some of our children have nicknames that they use as their main name; I have a nickname that I am known by to everyone I meet. Some of us only allow the people closest to us use our nicknames without bristling that the other person has crossed an unspoken boundary. Some folks love to use already in-place nicknames because the nicknames make the speaker closer and more in touch with the other person. And, still yet, some people love to give others a nickname of their own making. But, just like labels, nicknames can bring people closer together or they can tear them apart.There are good nicknames and there are bad nicknames. Folks prone to nicknaming everyone are quite often not in tune with the disrespect or even hurt they are inflicting and, ultimately, how they are undermining the relationship. A basketball coach when I was in high school called me “Wanda Wideload.” Mind you, it was only in the last eight years that I have actually been overweight, but, as a teenager, I thought I was fat, especially with supposedly safe adults calling me “Wanda Wideload” every single day of high school because I worked in his office every day. Eventually, in hurt and anger, I started calling him “Lardy Larry,” which he just laughed away, but the hurt he inflicted as a trusted adult in my life was already done. Not all nicknames will inflict that type of lasting hurt. The nicknamed person may accept that you won't stop using the nickname even after they have politely asked you to stop - sometimes on more than one occasion. They may forgive you completely for disrespecting their boundary and request, buuut most often, polite acceptance is actually coupled with knowing you are someone NOT to be trusted and that you do not respect boundaries. If you cannot accept a boundary about something as simple as a nickname, then how are you to be trusted in anything bigger?How does this apply to your family? Think about the nicknames you use. For example, our youngest has been known as Jojo since birth. He even still introduces himself that way sometimes, but he has begun to introduce himself as Joe or Joseph more and more often. At some point, he may ask us to stop using his nickname. Since it is a term of endearment, it will be difficult to drop, but for the stage of life where it bothers him, we will do our best to use the name he uses. Here are some tips when dealing with nicknames:If someone is using a nickname you do not like, hold a proper boundary. It is ok to say, “please don't call me that.” You can even say, “I prefer” - and then say the name you prefer. Never forget Proverbs 15:1 which says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”If someone has asked you to stop using a nickname, you need to respect that by putting in the effort. Our nephew started going by a different name after we had moved away. It is still hard all these years later, but we try, and he seems to appreciate our effort to do so. Note that not all nickname changes come from aging. Sometimes, a person fills pigeon-holed or insulted by a nickname. No matter the reason, put in the effort and apologize when you forget.If you use a nickname for someone that YOU came up with, you need to check in with them and make sure that they are ok with your using it. Here's a caveat to that, if they have already asked you not to call them that, then don't and don't ask if you can use it. Asking again puts them in the awkward position of reiterating what you already know but don't want to accept. Annnd, they may give in, but again, the relationship may be chipped away each time you use that nickname.Families are the ultimate place to practice God's one anothering concepts, and using or not using nicknames in ways that help your loved...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. While the rain has been falling quite a bit both literally and figuratively, we are thankful to the Lord for His provision of water to grow the plants and His love to get through the storms. Here at Clear View Retreat, we never deny that tough things happen in life. But, we do not go through any difficulties on earth without Hope - His Hope. We desire to be part of the equipping solution, pointing you and ourselves to God's healing and guiding Word to bring us through any highs or lows that come along as we seek Him.Last week, we began a two-part series about labels. But, today, we want to focus on the positive, and the reality is that some labels CAN BE good. They can be helpful, and they are sometimes necessary. Additionally, positive labels help a family build a stronger family identity. And, those family identity labels need to be grounded in God's Word. The first label to explore today is MINE. No, we aren't referring to the movie seagulls screaming out, “MINE, MINE, MINE” in selfishness. Isaiah 43:1 says, “Now this is what the Lord says—the one who created you, Jacob, and the one who formed you, Israel—“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are mine.” God says we are HIS. He claims us as His own. He does not say we are His if we are good enough, if we behave well enough, if we make enough, if we achieve enough. We are HIS because He called us. The second label is CHILDREN. 1 John 4:4 is one of the verses that God has in His word referring to us as children - “You are from God, little children, and you have conquered them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” And, as Lisa Whittle writes, “Jesus did not create us to wear the labels of this world, even the ones we place on ourselves. Instead, He created us as His ‘dearly loved children' (Ephesians 5:1).” Dearly loved children, we are held close to the Lord. He labels us because He loves us even better than we love our children. We take care of them, we teach them, we support them, but we are HIS children.The third label we'll discuss today is COMMUNITY. In Romans 12:3-8 God reminds us that we are members of one another. Specifically, in verse 5, “in the same way we who are many are one body in Christ and individually members of one another.” Additionally, labels help provide a sense of community. The community is something your family or family member is involved with, or it can even be a literal support group helping you better understand your family's unique challenges - whether that is due to an illness or ongoing need.The fourth label is CAPABLE. My favorite verses of the Bible are 2 Peter 1:5-8, “Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” My fellow five minute families, you are capable. You won't get it all right, all at once, but we are each capable of growing closer and closer to God and becoming more and more like His Son every day.The fifth and final label for today is BLAMELESS. Colossians 1:22 points out, “Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and BLAMELESS as you stand before him without a single fault.” Last week, we included 1 Samuel 16:7 and intentionally left off the last part - “but the Lord looks on the heart.” Labels can destroy us if they are misused, but they can also give us motivation and proper self-development. We can seek God's will...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Thank you for joining us today. We are Jim and Kim Nestle with Clear View Retreat, located in beautiful East Tennessee. We want to encourage your family to live lives pleasing to the Lord. That involves being intentional in how you relate to one another. And, one of the ways folks relate is to label each other. Labeling can actually have both negative and positive effects, so let's break down the labeling process over the next two weeks, and see how we need to only label in God-honoring ways.Have you heard phrases like: “Don't label me,” “I don't do labels,” “Don't put your labels on me,” or “I don't want to be labeled?” All of those are demonstrating the very real heart attitude for a need to be seen as the unique and wonderful individuals we each are. Labeling a person can possibly restrict their potential. God has a plan and a purpose for every single human being on this earth, and if we insult someone with a label meant to belittle or restrict them, then we are dishonoring God. If you do an internet search with the keyword phrase “Bible verses about labeling,” most of the information that pops up begins with the negative side of labeling. A small sample of those verses include:Matthew 7:1-2 Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance...”Romans 14:13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.John 7:24 Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.James 2:4 Have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?People throughout human history have been tribal. We will divide along any line we can find. Back in history, people divided by their literal tribe. Folks divide by nationality, by color, by educational experience. People are so tribal that even Apple has maximized on that tribalism by demonizing phones that are not theirs, lessening the quality of images shared, and more. Android-using phones might do it, too, though that is much harder to identify since there are numerous non-Apple “tribes” and only the one Apple tribe. What does tribalism have to do with labeling? Well, a lot actually. We have a tendency to label what we do not yet fully understand in order to lessen our own discomfort in the unknown. And, quite honestly, when someone does not think like we do, act like do, or believe what we believe, we want to lessen our own discomfort and frustration by slapping a label on them and walking away. We will never win an argument by labeling the people who disagree with us. That's because labeling causes frustration especially if we are not entirely accurate and/or the person is unhappy with that label. If the label is perceived negatively in society or within the person's own family, no matter how accurate, the label will be viewed as an insult. Let's take for example the fact that when Christ-followers first began being labeled as “Christians” it was meant as an insult. Then, the group embraced being known as “little Christ's” and then as time marched forward, Christ-followers began to distance themselves from the label that had been overused and corrupted by evil people who hide their evil acts behind misused and misrepresented Bible verse.Labels often reveal unfounded assumptions and negative stereotypes. No one wants to be grouped with the worst of the people who share something in common with themselves. Something bad may have happened to you to accept or believe a negative stereotype. Our niece who did not homeschool once watched a...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Would you rather have 100 pennies or 4 quarters? In terms of ease of carrying the money and paying with the money, most of us would choose 4 quarters. Now, let's think about those times in school when we had to write a paper for the English teacher… how many of us sat down and wrote the paper the night before it was due, even if we were supposed to have an outline and other pre-writing work turned in with it? Most English teachers will assign the various prewriting work as well as the drafting and editing phases to be turned in prior to the paper due date in order to make sure we are working on the tasks in a timely and organized way. But, what do 100 pennies and English teachers have to do with one other? I watched a social media video the other day by a beautiful young lady who was sharing her ADHD experience of activity and inactivity with the analogy of 100 pennies or four quarters. I accidentally hit the back arrow and couldn't find it again so I cannot give her proper credit; nonetheless, her point was… Do you accomplish your tasks like counting out 100 pennies or 4 quarters? The English teacher who breaks down a big paper into separate tasks and has you turn in the parts as you go is a 100 pennies person. They are making sure you are doing the task methodically and carefully. And, for an English paper, I would agree that the 100 pennies approach will often be the most fruitful. However, the accomplishment of most tasks in our daily lives, neither the 100 pennies or the 4 quarters is correct or better. They both equal a dollar, but the overall look of the broken down tasks and the time it takes to complete them looks very different. So, if you are a 100 pennies parent and you have a 4 quarters child, you may end up with a lot of conflict in the house. Of course, just as there are numerous ways to make a dollar, there are numerous ways to accomplish a task in different chunks of time. We might be 10 dime parents with 20 nickel kids. We might even have times when we are full dollar parents because of the urgency or timing of a needed task. Parents, sometimes we forget the vast differences available in accomplishing the same task (or the tasks that we each have set before us). We hear verses likeEphesians 5:15–16 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.Psalm 90:12 teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.Colossians 4:5 Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Luke 14:28 For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?John 9:4 We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work.And, after hearing those verses, if we are ‘100 pennies' constant working a little at a time people, we may view our 4 quarters kiddo as lazy or ‘less than.' Remember, Galatians 6:9 “Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don't give up.” If you are both accomplishing the tasks that are set before you, then just like the quantity of money is equal, the work is equal. Five Minute parent, you may have to adjust your actual view of the other person. The same is true in reverse. If mom is 4 quarters but the kiddo needs a task to be 100 pennies, it is incumbent upon the parent to explain and help the child accomplish their task in ‘100 penny' format. That can be a lot harder to achieve sometimes; we have to be self-aware and equip ourselves to meet the needs and changes that will help each family member achieve his or her greatest potential. Which, will ultimately help us as a family achieve the goals we have set for ourselves. Thank you for joining us today. We pray that the eyes of your hearts will be enlightened to God's hope, glory, and power for your family....

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Are you in a season of chaos? In a season that feels where every moment is filled with an expected event and then something comes along to derail or add to that? Today, let's discuss how a God-honoring family can handle the chaos that inevitably comes in some seasons of life.Of utmost importance is to remember that God is a God of order as 1 Corinthians 14:33 points out, “God is not a God of disorder but of peace.” He can bring order from the perceived? chaos. And, He knows that we live in this sinful, fallen world. He knows intimately that that world will sometimes fall on us. So, if a season of chaos seems to be reigning in your life, remember who is actually on the throne. Take even just five seconds to breath and pray a prayer of thanksgiving that He will sort it all out. He is with us every moment.So, how does your family walk through this season that seems full of disorder and confusion?First, and I know we may sound like a broken record (or for a more modern slang… a loop glitch in a video game), but you must realize that the impact of an event is different for each individual member of your family. Within the family identity you are trying to cultivate, never forget that each member of the family is uniquely and wonderfully made. Second, keep the lines of communication open as you navigate this season of chaos. Try to schedule a family meeting if at all possible. If not, be sure to make plans for future discussions, possibly even keeping notes as things are at the height of the chaos so that you can better remember and address the most pertinent issues.Third, not only do you need to have planned meeting times for dealing with any issues or debriefing about the options or consequences, in the midst of the ongoing chaotic moments, you also need to choose to seek to understand first before trying to be understood and to be kind in that process. Much of the chaos is easier to process if you know what your loved one is thinking and feeling.Fourth, make sure you are examining your thoughts for reality-based expectations. If someone in the family has unrealistic expectations, the season of chaos will be much harder to traverse. Make sure you share your expectations with your family, and if you receive feedback about their unrealistic nature, be prepared to enter again into praying that God will give you a clearer view of what He is orchestrating in your family's life. And, fifth, be willing to enter into periods of intentional intimacy and intentional avoidance. Each family member will need different levels of interaction time, processing time, quiet time, etc. In a season of chaos, you each need to be intentionally intimate with the Lord through prayer and Bible reading, even more so than you feel you have time for. Likewise, you need to have times of intentional avoidance from loved ones so that you can evaluate your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, making sure you are bringing your beliefs to the Lord so that He can direct you in His path, not your own.Just as Isaiah 41:10 tells us, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with my righteous right hand.” God will guide you and the family through this season of chaos. He reiterates that in John 16:33 “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.” We will have tribulation, trials, distress, frustration, troubles, and affliction, but what the world intends for harm, God intends for good (Genesis 50:20). We know that seasons come and go, and that we can “glory in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Romans 5:3-4).Five minute families, “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. We hope you and yours are doing well this week. As the seasons change here, we are reminded of the constant changes that happen in life, especially in family life. Change does not only happen when big events happen - events such as the birth of a new baby, moving, or a new job. Change comes in our families as our children grow and a new milestone is reached. Think back to all the changes that came with your child's first step!Change can be exciting and it can also be intimidating, especially when one member of the family is excited for the upcoming change and another member is dreading it. We can never assume the good and wonderful things that we anticipate coming are expected in the same way by our children or our spouse. For example, even something as exciting as your two growing daughters getting their own bedrooms for the first time, may cause a cascade of changes and secondary impacts. One daughter may love it while the other feels extremely lonely. The family as whole may see that the girls stop spending as much time in the living room with the family during mundane, routine events. Other children may feel restricted in the individual, separated bedrooms when they had previously gathered all together in the joint bedroom, leading them to act out. And on and on. So, what can you do to address changes that are happening in a positive and godly way?Always remember to keep the lines of communication open. Never assume that each family member is handling the change in the same way. Ephesians 4:29 reminds us that our communication needs to build one another up and it needs to “fit the occasion” to give grace to those who hear, so you are going to need to stay mindful of listening for what each family member may be saying or not saying due to the change. Likewise, don't try to “fix” your loved one's feelings about the change. Accept the feelings. The Bible says in Romans 15:7 “Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.” This goes hand in hand with lines of communication, but do try to gain an accurate understanding of the feelings and thoughts your family member is having surrounding the change. This is not just for you to understand them, but also so that if the family member themselves is holding onto a misunderstanding, misperception, or even blatantly false belief, you can address it lovingly and gently. Keep in mind Proverbs 14:12-13, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief” as well as Proverbs 12:15, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.Identify what can be held constant in your family life in order to help family members have a sense a stability in the midst of the change. One constant to always keep in mind is 1 Corinthians 15:58, “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” No matter what is going on, we can stop, pray, study His word, and hold onto God's truths.And, finally, don't forget to evaluate the impact of the change on the family identity you are cultivating. When a child goes to school for the first time or leaves for college, the identity of the family alters. Certain things will never change, of course. We are children of God, if we have been saved. 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us that “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” And, the Lord created each of us uniquely and wonderfully, so when things change with one of us, He will allow change within the family unit as well. That will give the whole family a chance to grow closer to God and to one another. As you reach out to each other, one anothering and demonstrating kindness, take the time to thank God for

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Have you ever heard the words, “I want to be a Christian but I don't know how?” The simplicity of that question hides the longing and surrender that came before and the further learning that will follow. If you have never had the opportunity to share the gospel message with someone, we hope that you will pray to the Lord that He includes you in someone else's faith journey. The confusion that comes before and the questions you might get are worth it when you see the hope shine in someone's eyes.As a Christ-centered family, we all must be careful to NOT contribute to the confusion and questions that our loved ones will face, especially our children. When we were in Panama on our mission trip, we presented the gospel, asked if anyone would like to pray, and then prayed aloud so that if anyone wanted to make their confession of faith, they could do so. We did not ask a bunch of theological questions first. We did not make sure that they were in perfect alignment, doctrinally speaking. We took to heart the straightforward message of Romans 10:9-11, “That you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”Five Minute families, we know that not all of the people who make a profession of faith have come to know the Lord. Some thought they had to say it to get something. Some did not understand. Some just love the attention. But, that isn't really for us to decide. We must take them on their word that they have made a profession of faith. Then, discipleship begins. On a short-term international mission trip, the discipleship aspect falls to the local church (and we must pray for the local church in earnest), but at home, we have to make sure that we have presented the gospel message without all the worldly frustrations, traditions, and confusions that we may add to it unknowingly. It is good for our children to know the story of David and Goliath, Moses and Egypt, Samson, and more, but they need to know primarily the good news of Jesus Christ. We encourage you to take a moment to pray for your immediate family members. Think about their needs; ask God to open a door to discuss their faith journey. Maybe they will share with you that moment that God illuminated His truth in their life and we will see that you have a brother or sister in Christ sitting before you. Or, you might realize that while your loved can find and memorize Scripture and tell you the proper answer to every Bible story, he or she might not have had a moment in which God called him to Himself. He may not even fully understand what the gospel message actually is. If that is the case, then make sure you don't inundate your family member with a bunch of demanding questions. Ask God to reveal to you which Scriptures to share and what points to discuss.Be prepared at all times to share the gospel message with anyone who crosses your path, but likewise, be prepared to share the gospel message to someone you know has heard it in some form a hundred times before at church events. Maybe you learned to share the salvation story through what some commonly call the “Romans Road” or maybe you have heard of the “Share Jesus Without Fear” questions, and you prefer that method. Whatever God impresses upon you and wherever He leads, be faithful to open the discussion about whether or not your loved one is saved. Now, don't ask them every day or try to convince them if they do not make a profession of faith right then and there. You are not the Holy Spirit. But, you are to be a faithful servant of the Lord, and you can open the discussion, and even if it breaks down, you can ask permission to circle back again in the...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Kim and I had a wonderful opportunity to go with our two youngest sons on an international mission trip. Our many thanks go out to the local church members who supported us and the entire team. While we may not all be able to go, we can all be mission-minded with our time, talents, and prayers. With our mission trip still fresh in my mind, I had another blessed occasion to share a devotional with the ladies of my church at a special “Tea Party” themed fellowship. As I researched the positive effects of herbal teas, I came across this quote: “herbal teas are a unique class among beverages and function as a cornerstone in physical and mental well-being.” It was the word ‘cornerstone' that caught my eye.As Acts 4:11 points out, Jesus is the believer's cornerstone. All that we do, say, have, want, and need should be squared properly on the ultimate cornerstone. Exactly, and so with a play on words ending in the -tea sound, I built on the cornerstone of Jesus Christ for the devotional message at our tea party. Here are five figurative -teas that God would have us Christ-followers make sure that we have, do, or be.The first -tea God wants for us is CERTAINTY. Certainty for our SALVATION. We are free from doubt of where our eternal home will be. John 5:24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.” The assurance and confidence we have in Christ's sacrifice is the foundation for all of our earthly living. The second -tea is CLARITY. We need to gain clear understanding of God's word so that we grow in SANCTIFICATION. Sanctification is the process of growing more and more Christlike, and as John 17:17-19 states, “Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I also have sent them into the world. I sanctify myself for them, so that they also may be sanctified by the truth. As Jesus prayed for His disciples, so we must pray for one another.” Each of us will go through struggles, but we must keep God's truth at the forefront of our minds and pray for one another when effective communication and decision-making are needed in our walk with the Lord.The third -tea is CAPABILITY. 1 Peter 4:10-11 says, “Just as each one has received a gift, use it to serve others, as good stewards of the varied grace of God. If anyone speaks, let it be as one who speaks God's words; if anyone serves, let it be from the strength God provides, so that God may be glorified through Jesus Christ in everything.” We each have different TALENTS, different abili--ty. Just as one person is the head, someone else is a foot. We each are necessary for our biblical community. And, that brings us to our fourth -tea COMMUNITY. A biblical community is a group of Christ followers fostering a sense of belonging and support. That is concept called ONE ANOTHERING. The phrase "one another” appears about 100 times in the New Testament, 59 of those occurrences are specific commands teaching us how (and how not) to relate to one another. "Love one another" appears eleven times alone. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.” Likewise, biblical community and one anothering goes hand-in-hand with curiosity such as 1 Corinthians 10:24 encourages, “No one is to seek his own good, but the good of the other person.” We cannot seek the good of someone if we do not know them. We must be inquisitive and eager to engage in community. And, our final -tea to think about today is CONNECTIVITY. Connectivity is the state of being connected or interconnected, highlighting its interlinked, integrated, and unified aspects. UNITY Umm, that can be awfully hard sometimes, but like Jon Bloom at desiringGod.org said, “Our pursuit of unity is designed to give us many opportunities to die to our...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. We are so glad you are joining us for the third and final devotion in our comfort zone series. If you missed the other two, please check them out on your favorite podcast app or head over to our website clearviewretreat.org.Comfort zone has its risks and benefits, and as we mentioned at the beginning of this series, the comfort zone can be a tool. If the family comfort zone is used wisely, it can expand your life while keeping you grounded and joyful.Bfreecoaching on reddit wrote it well, so we won't even try to paraphrase it. They wrote, “Getting out of your comfort zone can inspire you to make changes, but your comfort zone is the sustainable component that empowers you to stick with those changes and receive their full benefits in the long-term. Your comfort zone is where you feel loved, supported, appreciated, valued, secure and worthy; and staying there is how you thrive. So instead of leaving your comfort zone — expand it — so you feel more comfortable doing more things. Then you can create the life you want through comfort and satisfaction, instead of discomfort and fear.”So, we can see the tool analogy we mentioned. Truly, the perfect use of the comfort zone is to find the place wherein the family is applying God's Word and acting in ways that honor Him while knowing their individual worth by simply being made in His image. If the bad of the comfort zone is ‘feeling over doing or being,' and the benefits demonstrate the ‘being over doing or feeling,' then the best application of the family comfort zone is encouraging ‘Doing WHILE being.' Expand your comfort zone. Here are but five verses to get you started:Jeremiah 33:3 “Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.”Galatians 5:1-26 “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery”2 Timothy 2:15 “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.”Mark 16:15 “And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.”James 1:22 “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only.”As your family gains confidence in the routine aspects of the comfort zone and encouraging daily family life, each of you is able to point your focus on other more challenging tasks, tasks that will likely take more mental and physical energy - tasks to expand and enrich your comfort zone. Likewise, after a family comfort zone expansion challenge, meaning your family has pushed the boundaries of the typical comfort zone, either individually or together, you get to then return to better known situations and be renewed to continue the cycle of rejuvenation and expansion of your comfort zone.2 Peter 3:18 tells us to “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” Growing in grace involves expansion of the comfort zone. It involves loving others who are unknown to you, it involves facing your fears together, it involves being devalued by outsiders but remembering your intrinsic worth. Keeping your focus on God's truth allows you to feel appreciated even if everyone on the outside of your family comfort zone does not appreciate you. And, so much more.Now, lest you think you have nothing to give, remember 1 Corinthians 12:5-7, “There are different ministries, but the same Lord. And there are different activities, but the same God works all of them in each person. A manifestation of the Spirit is given to each person for the common good.” You have been given an aspect of God's spirit to work in His kingdom - in your family and in your community.1 timothy 4:14-15 admonishes us not to “neglect the gift that is in” us and to “Practice these things; be committed to them, so that your progress may be evident to all.”Ask yourselves

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Last time we were together, we discussed the risks of staying in the comfort zone. The comfort zone is all about what is known. It is the place or situation in which we feel at ease and without stress. For a reminder, if we fail to heed the risks of the comfort zone, we fall prey to only feeling over doing - our sense of ease over taking action. The good of the comfort zone is that we see that our being - our very existence - is more important than any action we could ever take. Being over doing is the good of the comfort zone. A good biblical example of the good of the comfort zone is Mary of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. Mary stopped her “doing” and entered into a place of “being.” She sat at the feet of Jesus, focusing on the very purpose of life and her existence within His kingdom. Our families are to be comfort zones like when we sit at the feet of Jesus. Our family comfort zone offers safety, security, peace, rest, and support. Let's start with the first two: safety and security. Those words are often used together, almost synonymously as adjectives, and while safe can also only be a noun and secure can also only be a verb, safe and secure (safety and security) are two sides of the same coin. Safe or safety is more readily defined as the personal feeling or condition of being free from harm whereas secure or security more readily involves the act of protection the efforts or measures that are outside of the person.Proverbs 18:10 demonstrates that “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.” When the family holds tight to God's word and his power, the family comfort zone should be secure. Job 11:18 “And you will feel secure, because there is hope; you will look around and take your rest in security.”How? When a family member is struggling, the family comfort zone allows for a space that is both safe and secure. Think of a child being bullied at school. Having home a respite where the child knows he or she will be able to relax and know that others cannot hurt them there is part of the job of being a parent. Moms and dads, this means that you MUST be monitoring your children's devices, especially if your child has any social media, texting, or gaming app that allows for more than pre-fab comments. Home is not secure if people are allowed to attack us from the false anonymity of their devices.Next, the family comfort zone should offer peace and rest. A website I found summarized the difference this way, “Peace is a state of calmness and tranquility, while rest is a physical or mental state of relaxation or recovery.” John 16:33 reminds us of God's peace, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” And, in Exodus 33:14, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” How does a family comfort zone provide peace and rest? First, we need to remember that we are all wired differently. Some family members will need much more sleep than the others. Some will need quieter spaces to find their peace and rest whereas some will feel rested after a fun, loud family game night. To have a family comfort zone that works for each of you, you will need to stay observant and open to different options as needed. And, lastly, a family comfort zone must offer support. Support means to bear all or part of the weight of something. It means to literally hold up if needed. Ecclesiastes 4:12 “And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”Every single one of us will need support at some point in our lives. By choosing a family life of one anothering, a family member will always know that even if they mess up royally, they will have the loving support of their family, and yes, that even includes holding them accountable for

Good morning, Five Minute Families. How are you today? We have been under some chaotic, stressful, filled with unknown type of situations recently, and it got us thinking… wouldn't it be nice for things to be how they were… comfortable, chill, and known? Known… That is what the comfort zone is all about. The known.The comfort zone is a place or situation where we feel safe, at ease, and without stress. Some say the comfort zone is good; some say it is bad. Some say it is neither good nor bad. We say that the comfort zone can be a tool, and if used wisely, can expand your life while keeping you grounded and joyful.But, before we dive into the good and wise uses of the comfort zone, let's focus this first week in our “Comfort Zone” series to address the pitfalls that come from returning to or staying too long in the comfort zone. If you settle into your comfort zone and then begin to value feeling over doing, you will find yourself with a host of problems. First, the comfort zone will quickly and easily allow someone to become complacent. Complacency is being pleased with ourselves without awareness of some potential danger or defect. It is most basically summarized as self-satisfaction. Luke 6:46 warns against this when it says, “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,' and not do what I tell you?” Complacency in action often means inaction in reality. James 4:17 cautions us, “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.”Second, the comfort zone has led many folks in complicity. Complicity is “the state of being involved with others in an illegal activity or wrongdoing.” Now, we aren't meaning full blown illegal behavior necessarily, but being complicit in the family's comfort zone, might be starting another episode of the show you have been binge watching when you know your brother or sister hasn't gotten anything done that they were supposed to do that day. We see this biblically in Exodus 32. Aaron is asked by the Israelites to return to the comfort zone of polytheistic worship, and he steps right back into that comfort zone with them by creating the Golden Calf.Third, the comfort zone offers us protections from the fear of the unknown. The uneasiness created within us when we are doing something new can lead to disharmony and frustration among our family members. When one of us is uneasy, it can rub off on the others, so the comfort zone may keep us looking inward (and ultimately creating even more unknowns). We cry out “There's a lion outside” like the slacker in Proverbs 22:13, but the lion is in our imaginations. Fourth, the comfort zone leads us to settling for “just enough” and thus avoiding exceling. Settling in the comfort zone typically means the basic needs are met, but our wants and deepest desires are not. Proverbs 13:4 informs us that “The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing.” Matthew 6:33 tells us to “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” But, if we are stuck in the comfort zone in our family, we won't challenge ourselves and each other to achieve more for the kingdom of God or for our loved ones.Fifth, the comfort zone gives us a false sense of control. For anyone who has heard me speak about the illusion of control, you know that we cannot give into the false truths that come from thinking that we can control all the minutia of how our lives will go. Proverbs 16:9 reminds us that “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” We do not control the world around us, nor the people in our families or biblical communities, but the comfort zone brings that illusion.Is your home a limiting, avoidant comfort zone? Much of life is about balancing risks and rewards. Be aware of the risks of the comfort zone, so that you and your loved ones can avoid the pitfalls. Do not let the risks of the comfort zone overwhelm your home and your family....

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Have you ever gone snow skiing before? Some people have great spatial and physical awareness. And, for them, skiing becomes a dream of freedom and fun. For others, however, snow skiing when you do not yet have full awareness can be quite frightening.Now, if you have a parent or spouse who was told how to control their skis, and they have the spatial and physical awareness, skiing was easy for them. A few runs to get the full gist of when and how to control the force of gravity acting upon your body, and they were ready for more challenging slopes. For those of us who do not have that type of spatial and physical awareness, being introduced to the more difficult runs too soon can be a painful or terrifying experience.Why mention that? Because, parents, you may have experiences with your spouse or child in which you have the spiritual knowledge or emotional skills to understand the forces acting on you and your family and handle those experiences completely differently than your spouse or child even though they have been exposed to the same set of current circumstances but whose past experiences (or nonexistent experiences) have not prepared them to handle the new experience well. Another example, are those younger children who are allowed to participate in older children's activities due to their parents' involvement. The adults do not realize that they are setting the younger children up for attitudes of hubris since these younger children have the security of a new experience with mom or dad nearby while, when it is finally an age-appropriate activity, they have comparative few fears or concerns and often sit in judgment and pride toward other children their own age experiencing the situation for the first time - but those friends are without the security of their parents around. None of the kids really understand the experiential or emotional differences. And, unfortunately, it happens more than the adults realize. The set-up is for the adults' convenience sake, but the offense to the other children judged by the advantaged ones is still very real.Those are just two of uncountable examples of an imbalances or differences in experience, maturity, awareness, physical ability, and more. How do we five-minute families deal with these within our own families and communities?First, we must remember the concept of 2 Peter 1: 5-8. We each have different measures of qualities that need to be refined and strengthened. “For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with goodness, goodness with knowledge, knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with godliness, godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if you possess these qualities and they are increasing, they will keep you from being useless or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Families, remember that not everyone knows what you know or can do what you do.Second, don't let age be your only gauge. I once heard an elderly woman say, “I am old, so listen to me” even though she had completely missed the point of what the younger (middle aged) man was saying. Elihu's words in Job 32 to Job and his three friends immediately came to mind. He said, “I am young in years, while you are old; therefore I was timid and afraid to tell you what I know. I thought that age should speak and maturity should teach wisdom. But it is the spirit in a person—the breath from the Almighty—that gives anyone understanding. It is not only the old who are wise or the elderly who understand how to judge.” Now, please don't mis-hear us. Be respectful of your elders, but elders, you need to also be respectful of those younger than you.Third, slow down. Nothing can summarize that better than James 1:19, “My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” We must...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. How are you doing this week? Do you have your daily, intentional family time carved out and part of your routine yet? If not, please take five minutes to go back and listen to the very first Five Minute Family podcast on your favorite podcast player. Our hope for your family is that you grow closer to one another, seeing the uniqueness of each individual creating a distinctive and amazing family identity.Today, let's discuss the concept of waiting, the concept of “not yet.” Have you ever trained a dog? My sister trained our childhood dog to “wait” despite his favorite treat - a slice of cheese - being placed on the floor in front of him. He would look away, eyeball the cheese, and then look up at her expectantly. It was hard, but he knew that she always gave him good and wonderful things - her love, her attention, his needs met, and treats - yummy, yummy treats. There were times that if he listened and left the piece of cheese alone on the ground, she would give him a bigger one, and then, almost always he got the one that had been placed before him as well.Now, obviously, we are not created to be obedient dogs to the Lord, but we could learn a lot from them. When we dream something and it seems almost possible but not yet quite attainable, do we trust our Lord and Savior to do what is best for His glory and our good, or do we try to scoot around and get closer to dream another way? Do we just reach out and grab it when it isn't the best timing? To further the dog analogy, we could have had two pieces of cheese if we had waited but we didn't. We must remember in our time of “not yet” that God may be preparing us to be ready to receive properly. Philippians 1:6 says, “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” Often times, God is protecting us from something we cannot see. Psalm 3:3 states, “But you, O LORD, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.” At the time of Kim's sister training their dog, there had been some evil people leaving poisoned food along the walkways to harm animals. Their dog needed to follow her commands in order to be protected from this danger.“Not yet” seasons are often growth seasons. We might not be able to see the work being done on our roots, but when the moment arrives, the strength that we have gained allows us to appreciate the dream, the goal, or even the peace all the more. Don't forget what God says in James 1:2, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” Isaiah 55:8 says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.” It is not yet time. Psalm 27:14 reads “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Sometimes, five-minute families, it is simply not yet time. We have to remember all the things that God has brought us through so that we can trust Him in this season of “not yet,” too.And, never forget that God may have said “not yet” because He actually has a new direction for you to follow. Colossians 1:9 - “And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding.” We will still stay on the right path as one blogger wrote, but we must remember that the right path is God's path, and so if He leads you to a place of not yet and then redirects you, He does have a plan and a purpose. As Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, we must “Trust in the Lord with all our heart; and lean not on our own understanding. We must acknowledge Him, and He will direct our paths.” We need to be unwavering in holding onto God as we walk this life together. When one of us in the family experiences frustration or difficulty in the season of “not yet,” then we get to...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Do you feel stuck, ill-equipped, or unknowledgeable? Think back to your early years of schooling. You weren't born knowing how to read; you went through a process to learn how to read. The thing is that most of us forget the process of the things we now know and begin to do automatically. However, when something challenging comes along, we are often frustrated that we do not know or understand how to handle the situation. Don't forget, though, that growing in the Lord as a family is a process, and we each have to learn how to hold to Him and extend His grace, mercy, and forgiveness. Whenever you feel discouraged or unaware, remember the word “yet.” So, “I don't know” becomes “I don't know YET.” “I don't understand”… “I don't understand YET.” Remember what James wrote in James 1:5, “Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God—who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly—and it will be given to him.” That verse doesn't say you will know immediately when something happens, especially as a family with various levels of biblical knowledge and application. Take a breath and pray for wisdom to come. Remember, in Psalm 27:14, we are reminded to wait for the Lord. Here are five suggestions:Refocus your mind on Christ. James 3:13-17 Who among you is wise and understanding? By his good conduct he should show that his works are done in the gentleness that comes from wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart, don't boast and deny the truth. Such wisdom does not come down from above but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where there is envy and selfish ambition, there is disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle, compliant, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without pretense.Seek godly counsel. Proverbs 19:20 Listen to counsel and receive instruction so that you may be wise later in life.Control your emotions. Ephesians 4:26-27 “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger and do not give the devil an opportunity.” Emotions are normal, how you respond to those emotions is the challenge set before us. Be humble. Don't try to get ahead of the Lord like Sarah did. Remember 1 Corinthians 3:18-20, “Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you thinks he is wise in this age, let him become a fool so that he can become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God, since it is written, He catches the wise in their craftiness; and again, The Lord knows that the reasonings of the wise are futile.”Stay hopeful. As Psalm 130:5 says, “I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, And in His word I do hope.”Five minute families, none of us know everything we need to know to deal with the issues that will arise. The flipside of the encouraging “yet” is, for example, we will face death in our immediate families, but we have not yet. We will face addiction in our family or biblical community, but we have not yet. We will have moments of overwhelm, irritation, rebellion, disinterest, and so much more, in our families, even if we haven't yet. Don't let “yet” be a negative word in your home. Hold tight to God's truth that nothing is new under the sun and that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of all knowledge (Proverbs 1:7). Since wisdom resides in the heart of the discerning (Proverbs 14:33), we know that by holding onto God in difficult or simply confusing times, we can come out the other side, praising Him and being even more effective to share His truth and light to those around us who are hurting. Steve Laube put it this way, “In every sense Jesus is our “yet.” Everything before Him pales when compared to the after.” John 1: 11-12 says, “He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Tying back to our last 2023 devotion about demonstrating emotions, today we want to explore the Bible verses surrounding the appropriateness of emotions themselves. I watched a reel that demonstrated someone coming to their spouse and sharing that the spouse's behavior had made them feel badly. The spouse immediately got defensive and said that they weren't mean. To skip to the summary, the spouse felt if they agreed with their significant other's feelings, then the spouse would be admitting they were wrong. But, feelings about a situation are not right or wrong. As Jon Bloom at desiringGod.org writes, “Feelings are a gauge, not a guide.”Jesus had feelings. He wept, which indicates he felt sadness and loss. We know he was distressed in Mark 14. He felt and had compassion for those around him. He got frustrated when he was at the temple, and we know he felt tempted but, of course, never sinned. If Jesus had feelings, we do not have to adopt an attitude of stoicism to be a good Christian. Thankfully, we know that God created emotions and emotions themselves are neither bad nor good. It is what we do with our emotions that matter. Remember, like we said in our past devotion, it is ok to have big emotions, but it is what we do with those emotions that matters most.As Christ-followers, we can be emotional beings, not the negative connotation of emotional, but the willingness to allow ourselves and others to feel, acknowledge, accept, and process their emotions. When someone we love dies, even after a long and painful season, we can be sad, we can weep, we can allow ourselves to feel the levels of loss that that person's death will bring to our lives. Sometimes, our bodies will go through a period of change, of depression, of chemical imbalances. There is a time for everything, including the emotions that seem undesirable. It is through the undesirable emotions of loss, frustration, grief, and more that we learn about our loved ones - both those who are left behind and those who have died. It is through undesirable emotions that we often learn more about ourselves - what motivates us, what triggers us, what causes us to get up and get moving each morning. You get the idea.So, let's talk about five more emotions addressed in the Bible.First, delight. In Psalm 37:4, we read, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires.” Delight. We are allowed to feel pleasure, to feel good about our lives, our families. That delight must begin with the Lord.Second, affection. Romans 12:10 tells us to “Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Take the lead in honoring one another.” We can enjoy being with someone - a husband, a friend, a church family member. We can feel fondly for one another and enjoy being together.Third, fear. Remember, nowhere in the Bible do we read that Jesus felt fear. And, God's word tells us, according to some, 365 times not to fear. If God's word addresses fear that many times, then we know that we are going to experience it, but let's take those fearful thoughts captive, and turn the spirit of fear on its head as Luke 12:4-5 encourages us to do, “I say to you, my friends, don't fear those who kill the body, and after that can do nothing more. But I will show you the one to fear: Fear him who has authority to throw people into hell after death. Yes, I say to you, this is the one to fear!”Fourth, anger. So many Christians think if they get angry, they are sinning. Jesus got angry, yet He did not sin. As Psalm 37:8 points out, “Refrain from anger and give up your rage; do not be agitated—it can only bring harm.” I think Ephesians 4:26 says it a little better, “Be angry and do not sin.” And, fifth, joy. We know Jesus felt joy. In John 15, He tells us to abide in the Father so that His joy will be in us and our joy will be made full. We also know from Psalm 5:11 that when we take...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Most of us who were raised in the church have heard at some point, “Don't run or play in the sanctuary.” We get to know the sanctuary as a room in the church building. But, truly what does sanctuary mean and how does that impact the five-minute family?For most of history, the word sanctuary referred to the holiest of holy places in a church, usually where the Lord's supper was taken. Sanctuary has both literal and figurative meanings in today's usage. Most people refer to any place wherein they feel safe and secure as a sanctuary. Folks today who are seeking refuge, may literally go into a church and ask for figurative sanctuary. Sanctuary has basically two main meanings in the Bible. In the old covenant, the sanctuary is a physical space considered the holiest of holies, and only the high priest is allowed to enter once a year, and if he was unclean, he would die. In Exodus 25:8, God says, “And let them make me a sanctuary, that I may dwell in their midst.” The sanctuary was a physical place for the presence of the one true God. Jeremiah 17:12 further describes it with “A glorious throne set on high from the beginning” as “the place of our sanctuary.”As Hebrews 9 declares in verses 8 and 9, “The Holy Spirit was making it clear that the way into the most holy place had not yet been disclosed while the first tabernacle was still standing. This is a symbol for the present time, during which gifts and sacrifices are offered that cannot perfect the worshiper's conscience.” Continuing in verse 11 that Christ came as a high priest, entering the most holy place for all time by His own blood. With this new covenant, Christ is our sanctuary. He is the high priest who brings us into the presence of the Most High God. As we wrote this, Kim battled with these two questions:1. Is the reason we have reduced the meaning of the word sanctuary from the holiest of holies to a personal safe place because we have slowly replaced God in our society with the little ‘g' god of self?2. Or, have we finally allowed ourselves to fully grasp that God is everywhere, and we can step into His holiness at any time because of the great work of Jesus Christ on the cross?And, honestly, I think it is both/and, not either/or. If we allow ourselves to focus on the feeling of calm, the lack of conflict, or the desire for comfort, we can certainly - very quickly and easily - replace the one True God with our little ‘g' god-selves. HOWEVER, if we focus on God and realize that He is so much more than a room in a building, then we have allowed Him to transform our stilted, “don't run here” thinking into welcoming Him into every facet of our lives, bringing joy, peace, calm, and comfort, no matter what storm may rage around us. As Ezekiel 11:16 says, “Though I removed them far off among the nations, and though I scattered them among the countries, yet I have been a sanctuary to them for a while in the countries where they have gone.”So, how does a five-minute family become a sanctuary for the Lord and for those in the family itself?1. Be spirit led. Galatians 5:16-18, the Apostle Paul tells us to “walk by the Spirit.” Walking by the Spirit means we choose love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. 2. Be in God's Word daily. This is hard. Trust us, we know. There are distractions galore. Kim and I are in God's Word daily, but we often fail to get into the word every day with our children. We don't have any regular schedule, and this makes it that much harder. We don't say that to make excuses; we say it to let you know we understand. We are right there with you if this is an area of struggle for your family. 3. We must set our minds on God. He says in Psalm 91:14, “Because he has his heart set on me, I will deliver him; I will protect him because he knows my name.” To set our minds on God, we

Good morning, Five Minute Families. This is our first devotional in 2024. As many are doing, we are taking this time to reflect back on last year and look forward to the new one. In years past, we have made different suggestions for families to have intentional discussions surrounding the newness concept. Last year we discussed standards, goals, resolutions, and new opportunities. The year before we discussed possibilities and planning by beginning with the end in mind, and in our first year with the Five Minute Family we suggested coming up with a family word of the year. Personally for our own family, some of these ideas worked better than others through the years, depending on the ages and needs of our children at the time. As I was driving to be with family this holiday, I heard a podcast by Mel Robbins. She explained six questions to ask yourself as you step into the new year. The first three are focused on reviewing the past year, and the next three steps are focused on the coming year. To give that concept the Five Minute Family spin (with a bonus), let's discuss the first three past-year reflective questions she poses.First, what were your family highlights from last year? Remembering the good and lovely things that happened are important, even if the year had many sad or difficult moments. 1 Corinthians 11:2 encourages us to remember the wonderful gifts from our Lord: “Now I praise you because you remember me in everything.” Just as Mel Robbins encouraged, don't only rely on your own memory, pull out the camera roll and calendar to give you and your loved ones a fuller picture of the year. Second question: What were your hardest moments this year as a family? Psalm 56:8 points out that God has put our tears in a bottle. As one author put it “Our sorrows matter to God.” Reflecting on those hard times allows us to remember how they affected us and is important, especially when you get to question number three.What did you learn about yourselves this past year? There may be a bit more self-focus on this question as you discuss this as a family, but try to keep in mind the family identity you are cultivating and how the individual's changes impact the family identity as well as how the family identity may have been fundamentally altered. What does that mean moving forward as a Christ-centered family? 1 Peter 4:10 puts it this way, “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another.”In May 2021 we discussed the “stop start continue” concept as it could be applied to the marital relationship. Mel Robbins used that concept as her second set of three questions - the forward-looking questions. Here, we want to prompt your thoughts to get your minds focused as a family on what you can collectively do.First up in the moving forward category, what do you need to STOP doing as a family? Acts 3:19-20a states, “Therefore, repent and turn back, so that your sins may be wiped out, that seasons of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord…” Not all of the actions you think of may be sinful, but there are actions you need to stop as a family because they may not be the most edifying. Sinful actions such a complaining or gossiping need to go, of course, but what about the actions of always calling out what someone else is doing wrong? I know I am guilty of that. As mom, it is my job to correct and instruct my children, but are there some situations in which I need to hold my tongue and let them see the need for a change in their behavior themselves?Second in the moving forward category is, what do you need to continue doing? Are you already intentional AT LEAST five strategic moments a day to stay connected as a family? If you are reading God's word daily, that's another thing to keep continuing doing. Do you already build one another up with your words and actions?And, finally, in the moving forward, almost resolution-esque category, what do you...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. It is holiday season as we write this. Thanksgiving into Christmas into New Year's. Numerous work events, family gatherings, and community parties get added into most of our already busy schedules. Stress hits its highest for many folks this time of year. And, many of us begin to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or downright angry.Thankfully, our society has come to accept healthy demonstrations of emotions much better than it has in history. However, with the rise of social media and the endless news cycle, unhealthy and maladaptive forms of emotional demonstration have become news and viral fodder. If someone gets fame for bad behavior, they have received reinforcement to behave badly. The same holds true in our homes. If we allow the person in the family who demonstrates their negative emotions in controlling, angry, or destructive ways - whether that is the patriarch or the toddler, to control the emotional environment, we are all doomed to get-togethers of misery - anxiety, walking on eggshells, feeling unheard or controlled, the list goes on. A family must learn to identify the emotions being felt AND learn how to communicate them in healthy, relationship building ways - yes, even the bad ones. This needs to start young if possible. In fact, as I sat down to write this evening, I just heard our son say to his very young daughter, “It's ok to have big feelings, but you can't act like that. You have to control yourself.” She didn't want to eat her veggie pouch of baby food. She wanted her fruit pouch. But, by lovingly identifying the emotions she was feeling AND validating those emotions, he guided her to calm down and behave in a manner that would keep harmony despite her lack of desire to eat her veggies.As our kids grow, this scenario plays out again and again. Our nine-year-old was upset thinking someone had thrown away his dessert that he hadn't finished. His over-the-top demonstration of his anger and frustration did not get him any closer to eating the dessert. He was disappointed. He yelled about stubbing his toe, he angrily asked everyone where his dessert was. And, ultimately, his bad behavior cost him his ability to eat his dessert when he desired.Five-minute parents, the same is true for us. How often are we frustrated by the extended family member who has spent a lifetime turning themselves into the victim of every real or perceived conflict. It is exhausting. It is defeating. How do we have a conversation with that person, especially when our emotions are big? Well, just like the kiddos, it is ok to have big emotions, but we have to learn how to communicate our needs in calm, healthy ways. And, sometimes, we have to realize that, no, that person may not ever change. But, we can't let their victim mentality and inability to see the hurts and disappointments they have created to control the entire family narrative. Will it serve any good or godly purpose to confront the person at this time about their bad behavior, or will we just be heaping our own bad behavior on top? (and, incidentally, if the emotionally unhealthy person likes playing the victim, they will just feel more victimized and a perpetual cycle is established.Yet, we know that expressing our emotions can have both mental and physical health benefits. So, we have to learn that demonstrating our emotions does not need to be slamming a door, screaming out, or talking to someone. Expressing our emotions can happen entirely in our minds in a healthy and adaptive ways in which we acknowledge their existence and make an intentional choice to respond in godly ways. The Kansas City Heath System website explained that acknowledging our emotions can:Help us see problems in a new lightMake decision-making and problem-solving easierAllow us to rid ourselves of the power of the feeling and bring control of our responseReduce anxiety and Ease

Good morning, Five Minute Families! Are you in the Christmas spirit, or do you have a touch of the bah-humbugs? Getting into the mindset can be a challenge if we focus on only what we want. Yet, if we choose to focus on our blessings, on our triumphs - no matter how small, and of the possibilities of the future, then getting into the spirit of Christmas becomes much easier. Ultimately, our full focus needs to turn to what the season is all about - the birth of a baby who sacrificed His life for our eternal futures. Now, that is a real reason to celebrate. That's a good word. Celebrate. Celebrations. This past weekend we had the chance to witness a sweet proposal and to participate in the celebration that followed. This time of year, in America we have Christmas parades, Christmas pageants, Christmas cantatas, Christmas parties and more. A whole month of celebrations of the birth of Jesus and the joy of family and friends surrounding us. Celebrations are biblical. There are the seven feasts or festivals of the Old Testament - celebrations of God and foreshadowing of the coming Messiah - Jesus Christ. Jesus Himself performed His first recorded miracle at a wedding celebration, and He used the parable of a wedding feast in Matthew 22:2. Not only are we to celebrate God such as Psalm 34:3 “O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together” and Psalm 95:2 “Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving, let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms.” show. We are also to celebrate each other. Some people say, “Never miss an opportunity to celebrate.” Of course, we do not want to lessen or cheapen the experience of celebration, but we also want to make sure that we enter into celebration frequently enough to receive the benefits of celebration. Celebration brings better physical health. When people gather in celebration, laughter often ensues. Laughter literally helps the muscles relax, the blood pressure lower, and the airways open. Folks have a tendency to perceive less pain and express more gratitude. Organ transplant recipients were studied and it was found that those who expressed gratitude got better faster and functioned better, too. So, celebrate to improve your physical health. Celebration brings better mental health. When we choose to focus on the triumphs and accomplishments of those we love, we release endorphins, and that allows for an overall feeling of better well-being. When we see those who are for us in life, no matter how small the circle we have may be, we more from fear to fellowship and faith. Celebration brings stronger family relationships. Special events quite often become reunions, allowing for connection and endurance of family bonds. Celebration strengthens community relationships. When we celebrate, we issue invitations to those who are important in our lives or in that specific accomplishment. Pastors, coaches, professionals such as doctors and teachers, parental friendships, peer relationships - all are bonded more deeply when celebrations are added.Celebration brings a healthy self-concept. One website said it best, “A healthy person understands the whole arc of life as a continuous journey, punctuated by moments of pain and of joy but always changing. Special occasions are the milestones along this journey, chances to stop and reflect on life as a whole, and on the person who has lived it.”I think if my sister ever decides to have a second career, she needs to be a party planner. She once took dollar store birthday party gift bags and turned them into decorations for our four-year-old's birthday party. I had a cake and ice cream for his little party and a small gift bag per child coming, but that was it. No balloons, no decorations. I hadn't even printed invitations. I simply made phone calls. It took her maybe 30 minutes to plan and execute her decorating the room with the gift bags and various child craft items our sons

Good morning, Five Minute Families. This weekend our church had a baby dedication for the new little ones in our church family. Please note that a baby dedication is not a baptism, so if you want more information about the difference, please let us know. But, as to something our pastor mentioned… “it takes a village to raise a child.”For the longest time, that African proverb really bothered me. I think because so many politicians with nefarious educational goals and parenting ideas were constantly using the phrase when my kids were younger. But, despite how others may MIS-use the saying, truly, biblically, we are to be in community. We are to one another the hard-to-discipline kids, and their parents, too. We are to one another the child who never speaks in Sunday school, and their parents, too. We are to one another the sports star kid and their parents as well as the kid with physical disabilities and their parents. We are to encourage, mentor, love, and support one another no matter what comes along. Through the season of parenting, we need biblical community. Quite often, we seek out biblical community that is from our same-age peer group. We have similar experiences, similar development and maturity, and more. I still have a friend that I met on my first night of a moms' group twenty-three years ago. Our main connecting factors at that time were that we are very close to the same age and both Christians, and, thus, that put most of our children at about the same ages. Most of us seek out same-age peer groups for ease of communication and connection, but as Titus 2 points out, the older generations are to teach the younger generations. As a young parent, speaking to other young parents, we are all just experimenting, not really yet knowing the results, but when an older parent takes the time to share what worked for her kiddos and what didn't IN THE LONG RUN, we can make better decisions for our children. Research is showing the importance of multi-generational community.Hebrews 10:23-25 points, “Let us hold on to the confession of our hope without wavering, since he who promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to provoke love and good works, not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching.” We WILL have difficult seasons, even with neuro-typical children who have no physical, mental, or learning disabilities. Parenting each child will have moments of uncertainty and moments when we draw away from our biblical community. That's when the community needs to step up and step in and encourage the parents and help meet the needs of the kiddos in other ways.Remember what Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says, “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up. Also, if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one person alone keep warm? And if someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.”Take, for example, Numbers 11 and the last part of verse 17. “They will help you bear the burden of the people, so that you do not have to bear it by yourself.” In full context, this is about Moses contending with the people of Israel and their constant grumbling and complaining. Moses can only take so much, and that is true for parents sometimes. Certain seasons and certain children are very difficult. Without help, parents can reach their breaking point. Remember that you are NOT equipped for every single element of skill and every single need that your child will have. We are equipped as godly parents, and godly parents have to be willing to trust another in the faith to teach, counsel, and encourage their children. Romans 12:3-6 “For by the grace given to me, I tell everyone...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Do you ever complicate an issue? Overthink it? Spend so much time thinking about it from so many angles that you lose sight of what's important? We are to plan, yet, we are also to trust the Lord as Proverbs 16:9 states, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”In life there are five essential needs of human survival. Those are air, water, food, shelter, and sleep. Likewise, as five-minute families, we need to remember the five essentials in creating a strong Christian household and we can use the five basic needs as an analogy, just as God did in His Word.Air is the Holy Spirit. The Hebrew word for spirit is ruah, which, in its most basic sense, means breath, air, or wind. Without the Spirit, we find ourselves suffocating by the weight of our sin. Just as a patient with the lung disease COPD needs not just oxygen but also needs to expel carbon dioxide, if we do not keep ourselves attached to the spirit by praying, reading God's Word, and obeying what it says, we will find our lungs - our lives - too filled with the carbon dioxide of sin to truly fill our lungs - our lives - with the refreshing, renewing oxygen of the Holy Spirit. Remember Acts 17:28a “For in him we live and move and have our being.”The second essential need is water. In the Christian home we are talking about the living water of Jesus Christ. John 7:37-38 says, “On the last and most important day of the festival, Jesus stood up and cried out, ‘If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. The one who believes in me, as the Scripture has said, will have streams of living water flow from deep within him.'” And Jeremiah 2:13 “For my people have committed a double evil: They have abandoned me, the fountain of living water, and dug cisterns for themselves—cracked cisterns that cannot hold water.”Next is food - the milk and meat of God's word and teachings. 1 Corinthians 3:1 and 2 reminds us that “Brothers and sisters, when I was there, I could not talk to you the way I talk to people who are led by the Spirit. I had to talk to you like ordinary people of the world. You were like babies in Christ. And the teaching I gave you was like milk, not solid food. I did this because you were not ready for solid food.” As we mature, we eat more meat. Some say the meat of God's Word is the deeper, more complex Christian teachings, but specifically in Hebrews 5:12-13 we see that the meat of God's word is righteousness: “Although by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the basic principles of God's revelation again. You need milk, not solid food. Now, everyone who lives on milk is inexperienced with the message about righteousness, because he is an infant.” Remember, five-minute families, we must grow in our understanding of God's basic principles but we must also grow in righteousness.Fourth, we all need shelter, shelter from the elements that threaten us. Thankfully, God is our strong tower as Proverbs 18:10 tells us “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are protected.”And, last but not least, the final basic need in life is sleep. For the Christ-follower, that means both rest in the waiting and rest in the doing. We know from Matthew 11:28-30 that God will give us rest from the wearying cares of the world, and as we practice God's Sabbath rest, He will also provide rest and renewed energy for our daily lives. How are you doing in your homes to make sure that you yourself and your family have these five basic essentials of the Christian life met? If you feel like you are falling down in one of these areas, invite God to reveal to you what your weaknesses are and how best to address them in your family.As always, we thank you for taking these five minutes each week to listen to the Five Minute Family devotional. We are excited to report that the podcast has now been heard in forty-seven...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. We are rolling into the holiday season as we celebrate Thanksgiving this week. A question that millions of us will be asked in just a couple of days will be “what are you thankful for?” Sometimes in life, we aren't feeling very thankful. Our dad may have died, we may have to move even though we don't want to, our spouse may have lost their job, we may truly be in a place where we have no close family or friends to rely upon, and on and on. There are lists and posts about gratitude and thankfulness. There are articles about “Things to Be Grateful For Despite Everything.” So, basically, we are to find things to be thankful and grateful for even when we aren't FEELING thankful and grateful. Judy Ponio states it this way, “Practicing gratitude when life is beating down on you isn't easy. In fact, it takes a special kind of inner strength and resilience to appreciate your blessings in times of hardship.”Interestingly, the sermon at church last week was about Philippians 4 and contentment. We submit to you today that the process of becoming more grateful and the state of contentment are closely tied together. Being able to say that “Christ is enough” and coming to a state of contentment on a personal level is one thing, but since this is a family-focused devotional, let's ask… how do we find contentment in our families when someone who must be around us is pessimistic, depressed, an argumentative non-believer, angry… you get the picture? How do we say “Christ is enough” when our children are embarrassing us or when our spouses are annoyed with us and willing to demonstrate that? How do we find contentment in Christ when our kids bicker the whole way to church and just cannot seem to stop blaming one another for the issues which arise in life? How do we find contentment in Christ when our spouse seems determined to tear us down at every turn? Our pastor's first point is the most applicable here for us, five-minute families… love THROUGH your circumstances. Often, we think of our circumstances of finances, death, illness, and more as basically things that are a single instance or a season of life, but if our circumstances are lifelong, such as those difficult relationships that are not going away, we can't simply wait out the difficult situation. Please note that we are not talking about putting good and right boundaries in place in even the most difficult relationships. We are talking about the 10-year-old who mouths off and treats mom or dad with utter contempt despite good and right boundaries. We are talking about the spousal relationship in which the other refuses to be thankful, grateful, or content. Please note, we are not talking about spousal abuse. If there is actual abuse occurring, you need to get safe and get help immediately. We are talking about difficult people who cause difficult relationships.Back to our topic… Family contentment is largely an adult issue. It is hard, so hard, to be content with Christ when it feels like life is falling down all around you. It is hard to be content when your kids are mean to you or each other or others. It is hard to be content when you are a “glass half empty” kinda person. It is hard if your spouse embarrasses you on purpose. BUT GODBUT GOD… that is the whole point, right? Indeed. In trying to develop a family culture of contentment, don't put on a fake smile; don't pretend that all is well. Remember, we live in a sinful, fallen world, and sometimes that world falls on us. And, sometimes, we mess up royally. BUT GOD… our first thoughts may be rude, disrespectful, or frustrating, BUT GOD gives us the option to move forward to HIS thoughts. God thoughts are contentment. God thoughts are fulfilling. God thoughts are respectful. God thoughts are life-giving. Don't dwell on the first thoughts. Don't give in to the first thoughts. Don't deny that you have first thoughts, but do NOT share...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. We have replayed the three grief devotions that Kim wrote three years ago after the death of her stepfather in order to give our family time to grieve the loss of her father, Ken Willis. My father died almost a month ago. His philosophy was, "I'm a dad. That's my job." For his epitaph, we wrote "I was a dad. I did my job." Because he did. He was not a perfect man. He had his troubles in life. However, he loved his daughters deeply and was proud of our accomplishments. Even when we were childish or selfish, he still loved us. He still gave of himself as he was able. He often said he only had two wishes in life: to see my sister happy and to see me happy. And, he did what he was able to help that along. Clear View Retreat become a reality when K-pa, as Kim's dad was affectionately known as for the last twenty-five years, wanted to support the ministry. He was the first benefactor of this nonprofit. He believed in our vision to reach families. In fact, one of the best pieces of advice we received early in our marriage, we received from him, and we share that advice at every marriage retreat we host.As my sister and I have shared memories, I have grown to appreciate my father in a way I never did when he was living. I didn't understand him as my sister did. This period of mourning and grief has brought me a deeper gratitude for the man who wanted my happiness and desired to bring smiles to people's faces by sharing his love of music, organization, motivational sayings, and more. Our perspective shifts as life tumbles forward. In reality, grief and gratitude coincide. Think of Ecclesiastes 3:4 “A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” We don't think of those things happening in the same day, but for true healing in the grief journey to occur, they should be occurring together - though maybe not always in the same day, of course. Grief in having left necessary things unsaid, but gratitude in knowing that my father forgave me and gratitude for my heavenly father's forgiveness. Grief in the loss of our earthly fellowship but gratitude for the time we had. Grief in misunderstandings in life but gratitude for clarifications given after his death. Grief in the memories and gratitude for the memories. We must never forget that Jesus wept and that Matthew 5:4 tells us, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”In grief we feel these following verses:Psalm 142:2 I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him.Psalm 13:2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?Psalm 31:9 Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted from grief; my soul and my body also.Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.And Lamentations 5:20 Why do you continually forget us, abandon us for our entire lives?But in gratitude we hold tight to:Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.Psalm 23:1-6 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with meEphesians 5:20 Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus ChristAnd 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.God knows we ache for the smiles, laughs, hugs, and even frustrating moments of our loved...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. We are feeling refreshed and renewed, ready to begin the next seven weeks of a busy time here at CVR. We will be hosting all three of our organized programs during these weeks - grief retreat, family camp, and a marriage retreat, too. We feel God allowed the timing of these eventful weeks because Kim and I were just at a Christian counseling conference. God affirmed many of the things we teach here in our organized programs and gave us more equipping for the families and couples we will serve. Over the next two or three weeks, we would like to share some of the information that we found helpful and/or enlightening during the conference.We'd like to start with a concept that we will be chewing on and revisiting as time marches on. The concept is neuroplasticity. This word and brain adaptation are not new to many folks, but what it means for a hurting family can be invaluable. We know that God's word says that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds. How exactly does that happen? Interestingly, it was once believed that no neurons could be formed beyond 18 months of age; the science isn't clear, but we do know that new neurons can grow, but even if they grow at a slow rate, God created the brain to be incredibly adaptable. People with brain injuries can learn to do skills such as reading or talking even if those traditional areas of the brain is damaged. Now, we don't just have physical damage that happens to our brain. Emotional moments can greatly impact specific areas of the brain - mainly the amygdala and hippocampus. That means, even if your family has had trauma - individual or collective trauma - then despite the fact that your brains may have a specific initial reaction, it does not mean that the brain cannot be rewired to have healthier, safer, godlier responses. Think of your old, trauma-induced or negative reactions as an old road, well-traveled and easily known. It is a straight shot but may cause lots of damage to the car and jarring to the people inside. But, it is the shortest, most direct route. It is the one you know and you just don't have to think about it at all. You can drive this road automatically. You may even learn how to avoid some of the potholes and damaged spots. When healing begins and God gets hold of your heart, a new road begins to be constructed. A new, wider, stronger, safer road is under construction, but you have to weave in and through some of the old lanes. Patchworks emerge to help. But, you have to really pay attention to lane shifts and ‘under construction' markers. There are hazards - large construction trucks, blockages and slow downs. Maybe even a few detours to the old road periodically. But, finally, the new road is there - strong, safe, and reliable. Maybe every once in a while, you find yourself in an old pattern on the old road, but realize quickly that you can drive back to the beginning, or merge onto to the new road, and have a better rest of the way home. When a loved one comes to Christ, the old pathways are worn and used, but God begins the process of allowing different neural pathways to be built stronger and healthier.Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.1 Peter 1:14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the desires of your former ignorance.Ephesians 4:22-24 take off your former way of life, the old self that is corrupted by deceitful desires, to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, the one created according to God's likeness in righteousness and purity of the truth.2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.Ezekiel 36:26 And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove

Good morning, Five Minute Families. We are Jim and Kim Nestle with Clear View Retreat. Our prayer for families is that they will draw closer to the Lord and build strong relationships with one another. One way we do that is by sharing some of what we share here at CVR with you through our short weekly devotional. So, let's get started. Do you feel lazy when you sit down on the couch and stream two or three episodes of your favorite show? Do you have trouble relaxing and not thinking of the project waiting to be completed?Proverbs 6:6-11 says, “Go to the ant, you slacker (you sluggard, you lazybones)! Observe its ways and become wise. Without leader, administrator, or ruler, it prepares its provisions in summer; it gathers its food during harvest. How long will you stay in bed, you slacker? When will you get up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the arms to rest, and your poverty will come like a robber, your need, like a bandit.” Sometimes, we take a perfectly valid verse, or two or three, and we beat ourselves up with it. If I weren't so lazy, I'd have gotten more done. Oh no, I never nap; I have things to do. The reality is that this earthly life requires finding balance. A married person must find the balance between properly serving God and serving the family God brought to him or her. A parent must balance the needs for discipline and possible punishment with grace and mercy.And, on both an individual and family level we must find balance in rest and activity. Not all activity is productive and not all rest is laziness. We must become wise as the ant. We must work toward our God-given goals. We cannot become lazy and wonder why the lawn looks like a jungle or the car is covered in pollen and dirt. Still, God rested and he instructed us to rest, too. Exodus 23:12 “Six days you shall do your work, but on the seventh day you shall rest; that your ox and your donkey may have rest, and the son of your servant woman, and the alien, may be refreshed.”Let's not forget:Matthew 11:28Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.Exodus 33:14 And he said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”Psalm 37:7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for himPsalm 23:1-2 A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.Jeremiah 31:25 For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.”Families, ask yourselves:1. Are we using our time wisely for God's kingdom? Do we have a routine or plan that works to build God's people, our community, and our families?2. Are we resting enough? Do we value rest and sleep as we should? Do we allow ourselves downtime for rebuilding our bodies, hearts, and minds?3. Are we doing something, anything, in order to feel busy for Christ? Are we volunteering just because there is a need even though we are stretched thin as individuals or as a family?4. Are we committing our time to include quiet moments with God? Do we order our days to allow each person to have time with the Lord? Do we remember that one person may carve out time in the morning while another family member chooses to read God's word before bed?5. Are we allowing each family member to move at their individual pace as their health and well-being call for? Do we fully realize and reflect the physical differences we each have, or are we pushing ourselves or someone in the family beyond their healthy limit?It's been a question-filled five-minute family. Take time to reflect on one or two of those questions. Ask God to give you a verse - in context and in balance - for you and your family to meditate on. Don't use God's word to shame or diminish you. You use God's word to uplift and challenge you. His...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. These past few weeks have definitely been different for our family. We know that God is in control, and He has a plan for us. Yet, I struggled a lot this week to think of an idea or topic for the Five Minute Family. And, then, I saw an empty toilet paper roll. Toilet paper rolls are like family arguments… To not quote a popular but rude phrase… they happen. A Mirror UK survey showed that “of those who admitted to leaving an empty toilet paper roll in place, while 43 per cent 'forget', 23 per cent simply can't be bothered while 15 per cent don't even know where the toilet rolls are kept.”Many of our family arguments resemble those toilet paper roll stats… sometimes we just forget, sometimes we don't want to be bothered, and sometimes we are not properly equipped to handle a situation. In fact, 2019 statistics show that 70–80% of US adults consider their families to be dysfunctional in some way, which pretty much means we are all dysfunctional, so let's figure out better ways to relate to one another. Here are some lessons we can learn as a family from an empty toilet paper roll:1. Work on instilling the idea - kindly - in each member of the family that “If you see something that needs to be done, do it right then.” We cannot assume that someone else will have more time than we have. 2. Someone else may truly be that unobservant. Common sense isn't actually all that common. No, not because people are stupid, but because there are many skills and socially acceptable and expectable behaviors that are no longer being taught and thus are no longer common. 3. What you see as trash, others see as potential. Now, Jim composts, so he still sees the toilet paper roll as not something to be gotten rid of; he uses it for a good purpose. If there is a teacher in your family, he or she may need the rolls for crafts at school. You get the idea.4. Make a plan (or formally verbalize a plan) for sharing the tasks that need to be done around the house. Jim will refill soap dispensers but not say anything about it to others. Talk about those things that each person likes, dislikes, or can tolerant doing. Discuss how each member of the family can be a blessing to one another even in the simple things. 5. Young kids usually like to help. Encourage them and keep helping them, too. This is a great opportunity to connect with your kids and encourage a one anothering lifestyle. Ask about those things that your kids especially would like to take ownership of. Here at CVR, our youngest son goes around and checks the fire extinguisher hoses every month to make sure they are not clogged in any way.As you contemplate ways to avoid letting needed tasks lead to family arguments remember that sometimes we find ourselves arguing about things we would otherwise let slide. If you find your family is arguing more than normal, take a pause. Pray and ask God to reveal to you what has been going on to create this added tension and then make adjustments as needed.God reminds us in Psalm 113:7, “He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the trash heap.” And, He gives us a beautiful example in the book of Luke. The prodigal son found himself being treated as something akin to trash in his wanderings away from the protection of his father's home. When he returned, his father did not see his trashed life, his father only saw the past beauty and future potential of his son. He demonstrated his unconditional love, despite his son's complete lack of contributing in any way to the family or the family business. Do you love your children like that, mom and dad? Do you need to handle the empty toilet paper rolls differently? I know there are certainly times when I do. James 4:1-2 states, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Let me ask you… are you a burden or a blessing? My mom is fiercely independent and does not want to be a burden to her family in any way. Through some recent medical needs, she has had to share a bit more with us about the things going on in her life. In fact, when she was rushed to the ER and had to be admitted to the hospital, the first words out of her mouth when we spoke on the phone were, “I hate to be a bother, son.”Ongoing needs for her require a reshuffling of some family members' schedules, and some of us visiting with her in her home state. Even still, she hates that her needs are disrupting other people's lives. But, is she a burden? A bother? A disruption?Or, rather, is she a blessing for whom we get to exemplify God's admonishments of one anothering?You see, the answer to my opening question is that NO ONE is a burden. Asking for help or, more specifically, NEEDING help should not be thought of as a bother or a burden - by the caregiver or the care receiver. You have had heard us talk often of one anothering. There are 100 Bible verses that use the phrase or a variation of the phrase “one another.” More than half of those are about how we are to treat each other.John 13:14 tells us to serve one another. “So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet.”John 15:13 exemplifies being willing to disrupt our lives and letting others disrupt theirs for us. “No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends.”Acts 6:1-7 reminds us of the great need to care for one another. “Brothers and sisters, select from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Spirit and wisdom, whom we can appoint to this duty” which is serving the congregational needs. Just as we each have a role to play in the congregation, we each have a role to play at home. Sometimes, we are like the preacher of the word, having to stay focused on the work - the literal job - set before us. Sometimes, we are like the deacons of the church, having to serve our families mental, physical, medical, and emotional needs. And, since we are all called to serve one another, we need to be open to the flexibility of our needs and roles within the family. For example, with so many of us having jobs and responsibilities that do not allow us to be away for weeks at a time, we are tag-teaming taking care of my mother's needs. Some family went out at the beginning, Kim is there now, and I will be there later this week. 1 Corinthians 12:24 through 26 points out that we are not to suffer alone. “Instead, God has put the body together, … So if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it”And, Ephesians 4:32 states simply, “Be kind and compassionate to one another.”If you keep your needs from your loved ones, you are depriving them of the blessing of one anothering. We are not suggesting that a person runs to someone else for every little thing in life; codependence is not the goal here. But, there may be very real instances when you should lean fully on others… doctor says no lifting, no exercising, no leaving the house, etc... ASK for help. EXPLAIN your needs. DESCRIBE your pain. ACCEPT that some things may be done differently. And, BE GRATEFUL.But, if you have trouble asking for help:First, examine your beliefs and see if you can see why you see yourself as a burden instead of the blessing that you are. If you view yourself as a burden, you are believing a lie. Now, someone may have told you explicitly or implied that you are a burden. They are wrong. We each have needs and desires, and God wants our families and biblical communities to step up and take care of those needs and desires.Second, practice accepting help now even if you are not in great need.Third, share your real thoughts - though not always your first thoughts (and if you want to...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. It is wonderful to be with you today. Hopefully, you are still discussing and learning about the Fruit of the Spirit together, or working on some other devotional or study together as a family. If you aren't, try starting with discussing the Sunday sermon on the way home from church next Sunday.We've talked about serving together before. But, today we want to specifically highlight a family we have had the joy and blessing to serve alongside a few times now. This weekend the plans here at CVR were changed last minute due to a cancellation for a Family Camp. Our fellow volunteer family that does not live nearby came anyway, spending time and over 250 miles of gas money to come and serve families by fixing or improving the facility for our next event. The family has multiple children, including a young son with special needs who must be monitored at all times. Two things occurred on Saturday that made us stop and be not just thankful but truly grateful for this family's heart of serving…First, when presented with a more in-depth project than we originally thought we would have - and I apologized for the added burden, the dad replied, “If not me, who? And if not now, when?” And, second, the mom stated she wished she had done more because she had spent much of her day watching her son.Let's dive deeper into both of those statements. “If not me, who? And if not now, when?” While the origin of the quote is attributed to a Jewish rabbi Hillel the Elder, numerous people have used variations as motivation to get things done. This family had their own projects to do at home. They have friends closer by that need help on things. Dad had plenty of opportunities to apply that statement. Yet, he chose to bring his family here to CVR, bringing his skills and using them so that the mission of CVR can continue in safe and secure ways for other families.Mom would have likely been more at ease with the safety of her son at home. Their son would have likely felt more comfortable at his own home, with his toys and his routine. She didn't expect Kim to sit and keep her company. She did what was needed for her children, including watching our youngest alongside them, to be closer as a family and to give her husband the ability to serve with his skills without leaving out his family behind. Likewise, she didn't judge me when I took extra resting time before returning to a task, I didn't expect at any moment for her to somehow do less for her son so that she could work more with me, yet still she wished she could have done more. She provided fellowship and encouragement… one anothering at its finest. I need that to face some of the otherwise undesired and unpleasant tasks that have to be done for us to be able to serve families well. Now, there are real challenges to serving together as a family.... One person may be more service-minded than anotherOne person may be more capable than anotherOne person may need more breaks than anotherOne person may need more fellowship and conversation during serving than anotherOne person may just simply drive everyone crazy!Family serving isn't about competition with one another or with another family. It is about finding each person's strengths and helping them maximize those strengths while recognizing each person's weaknesses and either strengthening those or accepting those - depending on the weakness origin, of course.Let us leave you with Scripture to ponder as you figure out where you can serve the Lord as a family:Isaiah 6:8 “Then I heard the voice of the Lord asking: Who will I send? Who will go for us? I said: Here I am. Send me.”Psalm 119:60 “I hurried and did not delay to keep Your commandments.”Ephesians 5:15, 16 "Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are...

Good morning, Five Minute Families! Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.Proverbs 16:5 Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished.How often do we as parents cite these verses and the others like these to our kids or ourselves?Nope, this five-minute family devotional is not about pride, vanity, and arrogance. It is about the misinterpretation of those verses by some folks who are too hard on themselves and thus don't live the abundant life that God intends for His people, despite our living in a sinful and fallen world. What are the greatest commandments?Matthew 22:37-40 answers this question: “He said to him, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands.”If all the law and the prophets depend on these two commands, we better get them right. And, that second command contains two words we often forget, especially in light of those pride, haughtiness, be humble verses… “As yourself”Often, upon the first formal reading the “as yourself” is included. Yet, as it gets repeated during a lesson or discussion, we often stop with just “love your neighbor.” We make pallet signs, put it on billboards, tell others when they wrong us “hey, aren't you supposed to love your neighbor” … Love your neighbor.As yourself.Reality is… you ARE supposed to love yourself. If we properly follow the first great commandment: “love the lord with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind,” then you cannot despise his creation… you.I have walked through much of my life despising myself… I talk too much, I don't know how to end a conversation, I procrastinate, I am impatient, I could go on, but I won't.While I don't have such self-doubt and other self-criticism issues like Kim, I have had times of being disheartened. Let's talk about how God sees us…. God says that when he created humans, it was VERY GOOD INDEED (Genesis 1:31). God says, we are each uniquely and WONDEFULLY made (Psalm 139:14). God says I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). God says I am alive in Him (Ephesians 2:4–5). God says I am a saint (Romans 1:7).If you struggle with seeing yourself as God sees you, or someone in your family struggles with that, the world has lots of self-help ideas out there. Here is one such list:• Do away with the self-criticism.• Take care of your body.• Counter your fear.• Forgive yourself.• Surround yourself with positive people.• Indulge in activities that spark joy.• Stand up for yourself.Notice that each of those seven items have elements of God's truth but when you read them in full, they have been twisted just enough to remove God from the center. In fact, YOU and you alone have to muster enough motivation and discipline WITHIN yourself to achieve self-love from a worldly view.But, God! When we love God with all our hearts, souls, and minds, He makes it possible for us to love ourselves as He loves us.Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. That includes self-talk.1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.Philippians 3:13-14 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one...

Good morning, Five Minute Families! Did you know that the Partnership for Solutions at Johns Hopkins back in 2004 pointed out that more than 130 million Americans suffer from a chronic health condition? That means with a population of 330 million, almost every family in American has someone who faces chronic medical issues. Thankfully, some of those households don't have as heavy of an impact as others. Yet, still, many families struggle with how to handle the effect that a chronic health condition has not only one their loved one but one the entire household. Dealing with chronic medical issues that sway our daily lives means learning to manage our relationships as much (if not more than) we manage the illness itself. The chronic sufferer needs compassion, kindness, and gentleness, but the family, too, needs to learn how to do that AND how to remind their loved one that he or she is NOT a problem - that they are loved - uniquely, and that we all have to figure out how to deal with the fallenness of this world and its influence on our bodies. The chronic sufferer may feel like David in Psalm 22:1: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?” Some days may be full of groaning. Be careful, loving family member, not to let them fall into a trap of complaining but also understand that their sharing their daily burden and pains may not be coming from a spirit of complaining. Lots of prayer and patience is needed here.For those of you who may not know, we have three children who suffer from chronic illnesses. The burden that falls on the rest of the family to pick up the household chores' slack, to adjust in a moment's notice, and more, can seem overwhelming at first. We had always tried to practice honest and open communication in our home, but that became even more vitally important as we had to figure out how to reallocate time, money, and efforts into our children's medical needs. God has been infinitely merciful, bringing relief at various times, and we also have those gut-wrenching moments such as our oldest literally crying out in pain as his treatment is denied by insurance or realizing that I made a $6500 mistake in choosing which hospital to go to. Jim works a full-time job outside the ministry here at Clear View Retreat in order to carry high-quality insurance for our children and to make sure they get the care they need. So, what can YOU do in your family to help everyone deal with a chronic illness? And, please, realize that we didn't just gather a list off the internet, we have lived this, so learn from the things we got right and the things we got wrong. First, watch your words. This can come in many forms. Make sure with little ones that you don't lie and you don't make false promises such as “it'll be alright.” It might not all be alright. Also, to the chronically child or adult in the household, watch how you word things when you are having to adjust the family's schedule, budget, or something else. He or she may need your reassurance that the adjustment is not a burden - that THEY are not a burden. And, honestly, if you think of your chronically ill loved one as a burden, then you need to do a deep dive study on God's word about one-anothering. Second, enjoy the good days. There will be good days. They might not look as good as they did before the illness hit, but there will be good days. Learn to identify them and appreciate them.Third, learn to diligently (though not obsessively) check your schedule. Whoever the scheduler in the family is… you gotta be flexible. By knowing the needs of each family member, you can more readily adapt when the chronic sufferer is having a really bad day. Basically, always have a plan b.Fourth, and we cannot stress this enough. Get counseling - not just for sick family member, but for everyone as needed. There will be grief and loss to deal with....

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Today we are closing out our series of the Fruit of the Spirit as listed in Galatians 5:22-23… “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The law is not against such things.” Love is the first in the attributes list of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. And we know from 1 Corinthians 13:13 that the greatest of God's gifts and attributes is love. The world will tell us that “Love is love.” In Tina Turner's song “What's love got to do with it?” there is a line, “What's love, but a second-hand emotion?” The world will tell us that we can easily fall into and out of love - that love is just a feeling. And, as ‘just a feeling' it can be fleeting or it can last a lifetime, but either way, we don't really have any control over it. First, we must realize that love has numerous definitions, and as a communications person, defining my terms has long been a habit of mine. If we are defining the same word different ways and thus applying it in different ways, then miscommunication, confusion, and even falsehoods arise. The “love is love” statement is problematic for many reasons, but despite its common usage and application in society today, its circular reasoning doesn't even begin to address the myriad meanings at play in the three simple words. In Galatians 5 and in all of the verses we site today, love is defined as the Greek word “agape” or a part of speech derived from agape. Since love is used differently in Scripture, we made sure to restrict our conversation to this single definition in order to be clear about what God is, what He gives us through Jesus and the Holy Spirit, and how we can reflect love to others. Let's define agape. Britannica.com states that agape in the New Testament is “the fatherly love of God for humans, as well as the human reciprocal love for God. In Scripture, the transcendent agape love is the highest form of love and is contrasted with eros… and philia… The term necessarily extends to the love of one's fellow humans, as the reciprocal love between God and humans is made manifest in one's unselfish love of others.”1 Corinthians 13:4-6 tells us that “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”Let's break down those verses. We know that patience and kindness are attributes of the Holy Spirit. Love does not envy or boast - 1 Corinthians 13:1 cautions us that even if we speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, we are but a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.Love is not arrogant or rude - Ephesians 4:2 prompts us to couple love with all humility, gentleness, and patience in order to bear with one another in love.Love does not insist on its own way - John 15:13 says, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”Love is not irritable or resentful - Luke 6:35 tells us to “love our enemies.”Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing - 1 Peter 4:8 reminds us that “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”Is your family behaving lovingly as we are told in 1 Corinthians 16:14 “Let all that you do be done in love.”Dr. Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages helps families apply the concept of agape love to practical behaviors. Families need to regularly engage inSpeaking words of affirmation to one another, Performing acts of service for one another, Giving and receiving gifts with one another, Spending quality time with one another, and Appropriately touching one another with hugs, back rubs, hand holding, and more. One of the websites I found talking about examples of the love languages Dr. Chapman discerned...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Thank you for joining us this morning. We are Jim and Kim Nestle with Clear View Retreat. We have the honor and privilege of hosting family camps, marriage retreats, grief retreats, and more out here at our cabins in the woods of East Tennessee. It is a joy to do what we do. And, sometimes, it is exhausting, hot, trying, demanding, strenuous, lengthy, and downright difficult. And, still, it truly is a joy to do what we do.John 15:11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.Psalm 118:24 This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.Romans 12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.Now, a discussion about the biblical difference between happiness and joy might be coming after this series, but for now, we will stick specifically with discussing how a five-minute family can enhance the joy of their home. As an attribute of the Holy Spirit, joy is more than just an emotional response to a situation. Just as peace and goodness are not to be simply responses to our circumstances, neither is joy. Joy is a choice we make, no matter what is going on. So, five-minute families, to allow the Holy Spirit to cultivate joy in our homes, we need to…First, accept the difficulties along with the good times. James 1:2 “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds.” He does not say to walk around and always feel joyful. He specifically says to “count it” as joy. The ‘it' being life's circumstances. We must intentionally pause, recognize the frustration or trial, but then choose to see what God may be doing in the midst of this difficult time.Second, we must seek His direction in decisions. Psalm 16:11 says, “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” When we stop simply plowing ahead without thought to consequences or outcomes and instead rely on the Lord for his direction, we can be more joyful because we know we are following Him.Third, as a family, ask God to satisfy your family's physical, financial, and other needs… in His will, of course. John says in chapter 16, verse 24, “Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.” When we trust our needs and desires to God, our joy will overflow as we see the greatness of His answers - even the ‘no' answers.Fourth, express your joy around others. It can be hard when those around you are down, and we not encouraging you to be fake or to appear joyful for the purpose of altering another family member's behavior, but just as Proverbs 17:22 states, “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones,” your expression of joy - even if it needs to be subtle for moment - can make a fundamental difference in someone else's life.And, fifth, remember that eternity holds joy. John 16:22 reminds us, “So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.” This sinful, fallen world sometimes falls on us. It is ok to acknowledge that and, especially in the tough moments, remember that we have an eternity of God's great goodness to look forward to and rejoice in. My joy comes in the morning. Joy can be a tricky attribute if we think of it as having to walk around with a smile on our face all the time. Kinda like the “do all things without murmuring or complaining” verse, folks think that sharing their difficulties somehow makes them a complainer. That is not true. Yes, we can certainly make sharing some of our...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Thank you for joining us in this journey of discovering more about the attributes of the Fruit of the Spirit as listed in Galatians 5 - Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. This week, as we are progressing backwards through that list, we are talking today about peace. I woke up the other morning stressed… stressed about important things I have left undone in my family. And, this state of undone made me feel I had let them down. Then, I had to realize that no matter what I have gotten wrong, God has a great plan for me and for all of my family members, even the ones I let down. Knowing that God has a plan, and He will use ALL things - done and undone - for His glory and my good, I felt the peace of His truth and of His strength wash over me. Oxford Languages online dictionary defines peace as ‘freedom from disturbance; tranquility.' This refers to mental calm and serenity as well. The King James Version of the Bible uses the word ‘peace' 400 times while others translations use it 200-300 times along with many of its synonyms which make more sense for our modern English understanding - synonyms such as silence, quiet, rest, still, satisfy, ease, and fellowship. Biblically, Strong's Concordance G1515 defines peace to mean “one, peace, quietness, rest” and the Strong's definition we found the most interesting “set as one again.” As I reflect back on the Fruit of the Spirit songs from my childhood that I mentioned a few devotionals ago, I thought about the “Peace” song. The verses refer to mom and dad and knowing that they are there for the child singing. The child feels safe. Peace brings us a sense of safety when we are set as one again. The family is together and working toward a greater purpose and goal. Luke 2:14 … when Christ had been born, and the angel and multitude of heavenly host spoke to the shepherds saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.” Peace… the prince of peace had been born. Sent to set us as one with the God of the universe. And, once he had fulfilled His earthly tasks, He ascended and sent us the Holy Spirit. The one who continues to bring peace.Remember, the fruit of the Spirit are INTERpersonal. Interpersonal is an adjective “involving relationships between people.” We have peace with God, and we can have peace with others. With God, we must learn to rest in His peace, but with others, we have skills and practices we must learn. Hebrews 12:14 reminds us, “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.”As with all the fruit of the Spirit, we must first realize God's sovereignty and His example of the attribute we are talking about. The Bible calls God the ‘God of Peace' for a reason. Thus, to develop peace in our homes we need to work in partnership with the Holy Spirit and: Focus on the important needs. Philippians 4:7 “And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”Examine what parts of the world we're letting dominate our thoughts. Are you overcommitted? Are you worried about what might happen? John 14:27 Peace I leave you, my peace I give you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, nor fearful.Embrace the tough conversations. Often times, we let the tough conversations go unspoken because we don't know how they will go. Yet, when we harbor resentment or frustrations that need to be discussed and worked through, we are robbing ourselves and others of the peace that is possible in our relationship. Have boundaries for everyone in the home - adults and children alike. Romans 14:17 “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” When we allow our time to be overran with our daily desires...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Today in our series about the Fruit of the Spirit, we will be discussing patience. Do you ever find yourself frustrated in traffic? What about being irritated with a family member that seems to move at a snail's pace? Patience is oft-discussed and highly encouraged. Yet, still, patience eludes many of us. As a fruit of the Spirit, it is clearly an attribute of God, which means that we and our families can exhibit patience more than we think we can.I am not a patient person in my fleshly nature. Jim is patient, however. Thankfully. I have long struggled with figuring out the ‘why' of my impatience. If we better understand the types of patience, we can understand the why of impatience. Psychologist Sarah Schnitker has discovered three main types of patience: interpersonal patience, patience in life's hardships, and patience for daily hassles. And, wouldn't ya know, God already knew that, and His word addresses all three.Well, I'm not really that patient… For interpersonal patience, which is our patience with people around us, especially ones we have a relationship with, God gives us Ephesians 4:2, “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bear with one another in love.”For patience in life's hardship moments (or seasons), we need long-term patience, typified by perseverance. Here we have Romans 12:12. “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”And, for patience in daily life's minor annoyances, we need the ability to be calm. Proverbs 16:32 states, “One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And one who rules his spirit, than one who captures a city.” The CSB explains the concept of the verse this way, “Patience is better than power, and controlling one's emotions, than capturing a city.”Stress, fears, worries, and frustrations all seep in to our behavior with our loved ones, but HOW we handle those catalysts is what makes a difference between walking in our flesh or walking in the Spirit. Our salvation - our justification - is work solely done by God, but our earthly progression in growing more like Him is our work to do - our sanctification. Patience is part of that. We have the Holy Spirit, which means patience is possible, but we must practice the SKILL of patience, especially those of us who are not naturally gifted in the area of patience.So, five-minute families let's focus intentionally on these five areas to practice the skill aspect of patience:First, be mindfully aware of impatient moments. What emotions are rising to the surface? What timeline is being impacted that creates the most impatient moments? Is someone sick, frustrated, or unheard?Second, remind yourself that you or your loved one may be experiencing a sense of lack of control. What can you control right now? The one answer that will come into every situation is yourself. Only you can control yourself right now.So, third, engage in some specific behaviors to get your emotions of impatience under control by counting your breaths, or scrunching up and then releasing your shoulders. Slow down your physical behavior to get better awareness and control of your impatience.Fourth, put yourself and family in uncomfortable, patience-required situations. Not all at once, of course. But, choose to practice waiting for longer and longer periods of time in order to increase each family member's ability to be patient. And, fifth, stop multitasking as a family. Despite the constant multitasker's viewpoint that they get more done that way, studies prove that multitasking is not as productive as they think. But, if a multitasker expects everyone to keep up with their speed, it will simply lead to more impatience. For patience practice, choose some singularly focused activities such as reading or sports that require...

Good morning, Five Minute Families! Compassion - the concern for others - calls us to offer ourselves up for someone in need. Acts of compassion require the attitude of kindness. And God provides the fruit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.We've been diving into the fruit of the spirit, in reverse order from the list in Galatians 5, and we are today touching on kindness. Last week we defined goodness as ‘the actions which are taken to improve the health, happiness, or well-being of others.' Goodness involves a level of righteousness and right-ness in our choices and behaviors. For example, if we have a loved one to whom we must speak the truth in love - which may seem unkind - it is still good to give them the truth and possibly hold them accountable for their actions.One author points out how both goodness and kindness come from compassionate hearts, yet while goodness is an action of righteousness that involves integrity and honesty, kindness can best be defined as ‘our true, internal desire for the health, happiness, or well-being of others.' Some of us will do good, but we are not kind. That is not to say that as Christ-followers we do not have the capacity for kindness. It just means that we have not allowed the Holy Spirit to cultivate the attribute of kindness within us. Of course, some people are simply kind. You meet them and you can sense kindness from them. You feel safe to ask for help; you feel genuinely comfortable in their presence. My favorite book is Pride and Prejudice. The eldest daughter is Jane. Her sister Elizabeth says to her, “You never see a fault in anybody. All the world are good and agreeable in your eyes. I never heard you speak ill of a human being in your life." And Jane replies, “I would not wish to be hasty in [criticizing] anyone; but I always speak what I think." Part of Elizabeth's answer concludes, “I know you do…[the ability] to take the good of everybody's character and make it still better, and say nothing of the bad—belongs to you alone.” Obviously, a fictionalized account, but a perfect illustration of genuine, heartfelt kindness. I often choose goodness but kindness is a bit harder for me to exemplify because I don't always have the kindest of thoughts about others. Anyone else out there feel the same???The thing about kindness is that biblically, it is often coupled with mercy and humility such as in Colossians 3:12, “Therefore, as God's chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” So, how do we five-minute families adopt an attitude of kindness? Believe it or not, we have to first believe that we can be kind, even if we haven't been historically. We must realize that we need to think in terms of kindness - such as 1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient; love is kind.” God is love, and God lives within us; thus we can be kind and we can think in terms of kindness. And, finally, we must practice kindness in our actions. Here are five steps to take to cultivate the attribute of kindness:Step one. Smile! Check your tone, attitude, and posture. Smile with the corner of your lips and your whole body. Remember Proverbs 17:22 “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.” A smile can truly change the life of someone you share it with, just google that if you don't believe me. Step two. Put others first. Let someone cut line. Offer for other folks to go before you in traffic. Do the dishes without being asked. As Philippians 2:3 states, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves.”Step three. Say thank you more. Are you grateful for your salvation? Then, know that others need to see your gratitude. That means, when you have a chance to share your gratitude, even in the smallest transactional ‘thank yous' of life, you should. Hebrews 12:28...

Good morning, Five Minute Families! Thank you for joining us this morning as we continue gathering the fruit of the Spirit as we keep in step with God's Holy Spirit.Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-controlThis week is goodness. Goodness is defined in most dictionaries as ‘the quality of being morally good or virtuous.' Because of the sometimes interchanging of words of kindness, goodness, compassion, and more, we need to define goodness in order to be able to distinguish it. God's word uses it with righteous, kindness, truth, and more, but there is an inherent distinction. So, for our purposes, we will define goodness as ‘the actions which are taken to improve the health, happiness, or well-being of others.'Let's pause there a moment and think of God's goodness. At our Father's Day service, a couple sang the song “Goodness of God.” God's goodness is summarized in that song with two ACTIONS… He leads us through the fire and He runs after us. These are actions, folks. Just as in John 3:16 “For God loved - AN ACTION WORD, by the way - For God so loved the world that He gave - another action - GAVE his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” Psalm 119:68 says it straight out, “You ARE good and DO good; teach me your statutes.”We are to learn his statutes, so, let's discuss what we consider the five ACTIONS of goodness every five-minute family should engage in to exhibit the fruit of the spirit attribute of goodness.First, we must realize that we HAVE good. Having good - We have God's spirit of goodness indwelling us. Psalm 34:8, says, “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!” and Nahum 1:7, says, “The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him. We must study God's word to better exhibit the attribute of goodness.” We must actively study God's word to know that we have his goodness in us.Next, we are to BE good. Being good in this instance is to believe the TRUTH of God's goodness and our ability to be good, too. Remember here Ephesians 2:10: “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time for us to do.”If we HAVE good and are BEING good, then now, we must have an action of goodness that moves outward. DO good. Doing good - the actual act of good works. Hebrews 13:16 charges us, “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” And Matthew 5:16 likewise says, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”Another OUTWARD action we must take is to SEE good. Seeing good - actively looking for the good in others. Genesis 1:27 demonstrates that we must always keep in mind that others are created in the image of God. “So God created man in his own image; he created him in the image of God; he created them male and female.” Thus, we must SEE God - and God's goodness in others. Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.”And, last for today, though certainly not least is that we are to SPEAK good, and no, we are not saying ‘speak well.' Speaking good is to make sure we keep cruel - or even sometimes teasing - words out of our mouths and speak good words that are intentional to build up and encourage good acts within the other person as well. As Colossians 4:6 reminds us, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” And Ephesians 4:29 reiterates, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”Demonstration of the...

Good morning, Five Minute Families! Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control … the sweet fruit of the Holy Spirit! For the past three weeks, we have been discussing the nine attributes in detail, giving ideas on how to cultivate the fruit of the spirit in your lives. Today's topic is faithfulness.Faithfulness is almost a dirty word in the world today. We are bombarded with stories, images, videos, and sayings that tell us that being faithful is overrated, unnecessary, and possibly even detrimental. But, it isn't. Faithfulness is the culmination of trust, commitment, and dependability.Let's clarify something about faithfulness… God is faithful. Always and forever. 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.Deuteronomy 7:9 Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations,2 Thessalonians 3:3 But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.1 Corinthians 1:9 God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.1 Thessalonians 5:24 He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.And, as Christ-followers, we are to be faithful to God.Matthew 25:21 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You were faithful over a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Share your master's joy.'Luke 16:10 He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much2 Corinthians 5:7 For we walk by faith, not by sight.Proverbs 28:20 A faithful man will abound with blessings, but whoever hastens to be rich will not go unpunished.Deuteronomy 28:1-2 Now if you faithfully obey the Lord your God and are careful to follow all his commands I am giving you today, the Lord your God will put you far above all the nations of the earth. All these blessings will come and overtake you, because you obey the Lord your God (which is then followed by a list of specific blessings)Alright, so, God is faithful, and we are to be faithful to God, but what about the faithfulness referenced in Galatians 5?If we have the Holy Spirit indwelling us, just as with all of the attributes of the fruit of the spirit, we have the ability to be faithful in our earthly relationships as well. Galatians 5 verses 13 and 14 give us the biggest context clues about whether the fruit of the Spirit of faithfulness is strictly in our relationship with God or if it is in the context of relationships with others… the phrases ‘serve one another through love' and ‘love your neighbor as yourself' demonstrate that the faithfulness attribute of the fruit of the spirit is still in the context of our interactions with people … how do we glorify God through our faithfulness to others?Faithfulness in marriage for example is a covenant - a covenant of purity in the area of physical intimacy but also a covenant in the spiritual, intellectual, and emotional intimacies as well. Faithfulness is being trustworthy and loyal, being committed no matter what triumphs or trials come your way. Faithfulness in family relationships and friendships involves the same but in varying areas and degrees. Ultimately, faithfulness is one anothering.We are faithful when we serve one another.We are faithful when we bear one another burdens. We are faithful when we weep with one another. We are faithful when we encourage one another.We are faithful when we restore one another. I loved this summary, “God's faithfulness to us gives us the strength to be faithful people.”When we lovingly give our time and attention to relationships in our lives, we are being faithful. And, five-minute families must make...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Do you hold the door for others? Are you actively teaching your children to be courteous? Do you display chivalrous behavior when it is called for? We are at the second attribute that we will be discussing about the fruit of the spirit - gentleness. “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let's follow the Spirit as well.” Galatians 5:22-25Did you know that the original indications of the word ‘gentle' came from the concept of being courteous or chivalrous? A quick definition in dictionaries of today will tell you that gentle means to be mild or moderate. But, let us point out that gentleness is NOT being a doormat or a pushover. It isn't being gullible, soft, or weak. Gentleness isn't shyness, either.Gentleness is strength, actually - controlled strength: strength of character, strength of resolve, strength in God's truth and righteousness, strength of the self-control the Holy Spirit is producing in you. Out-going, talkative people can be gentle; shy, quiet people can be gentle. Gentleness isn't a personality trait; it is a fruit of the spirit. It is an attribute that ALL personality types can exhibit if they have the holy spirit living inside them.Gentleness brings communication 1 Peter 3:15 “sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, but with gentleness and respect”Gentleness brings consideration of all people - Titus 3:1-2 “Remind them to be subject to rulers, to authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good deed, to slander no one, not to be contentious, to be gentle, showing every consideration for all people.”Gentleness brings correction - 2 Timothy 2:25 “Remind them to be subject to rulers, to authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good deed, to slander no one, not to be contentious, to be gentle, showing every consideration for all people.”Gentleness brings restoration - Galatians 6:1 “Brothers and sisters, even if a person is caught in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual are to restore such a person in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you are not tempted as well.”Gentleness brings unity - Ephesians 4:1-3 “walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, being diligent to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”As someone once wrote, “A gentle person keeps lines of communication open; he is approachable, even to opponents or strangers.” Gentle people reach out to others in ways that make others want to reach out to them.Livingbydesign.org states, “The word gentle takes another dimension when considered as a verb referring to a horse. A wild horse should be “gentled” by a trainer so it will become responsive to instructions. Only then can a horse's strength be harnessed.” We see from this use of the word gentle as a verb that it is an action we need to take in order to exhibit the attribute of gentleness. So, how does a five-minute family practice gentleness to further develop this attribute of the fruit of the Spirit?Our family members must submit to Jesus. We must be known as a family that forgives others.We must listen more and speak less, if you have a talkative habit. Remember Proverbs 15: 1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”We must speak the truth in love… truly it is the “in love” that ultimately defines the gentleness, but note that if you are to follow God's direction for restoration as outlined in Galatians 6, then you have to speak,...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Thank you for joining us this morning as we continue our deep dive into the fruit of the spirit. Science tells us that self-control is what separates humans from the rest of the animal kingdom, that the part of the brain where we find the ability of self-control is the prefrontal cortex and that is larger in humans than in any other mammal. Humans make decisions, plan, and problem-solve, all of which require self-control. Self-control is not a given simply because one grows older. It is a skill to be learned and practiced. When I was a young girl, my mom had a traveling salesman who knocked on the door. He was selling a record with songs about the fruit of the spirit. My mother bought that record with the last $3 she had, and my sister and I sang those songs throughout our childhood. Then, when we became mamas, we began singing those songs to our children. More than 45 years later, the fruit of the spirit songs still ring in my mind - the one about self-control talks of kicking things when mad and eating too many sweets. Both of which families can relate to.Proverbs 25:28 A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.2 Timothy 1:7 For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.Titus 2:12 [God's grace trains] us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age,Please note, parents, that each of these major points we will share next have to be broken down further for the kiddos. We will get the ball rolling here, but remember not to just state the point and expect your kids to fully grasp the concept. Shift your perspective. We parents may need to shift how we see things such as doing the dishes or mowing the lawn. If we are always complaining about these necessary tasks, we are less likely to structure our time toward doing them and thus less likely to exercise self-control in order to get them done. If we rethink about the tasks about the joy of playing in the yard with neighbor friends or the fun of getting to bake cookies once the counters are clean, we can use shifting our perspective to gain better self-control of our thoughts, feelings, and actions.Avoid temptations. When families are working through building self-control, we must look honestly at what tempts each of us. If your children fight every time your family goes on a long trip, then getting to the root of the temptation is necessary since avoiding the long trip may not be possible, but avoiding the arguments over which song, movie, or game gets played could be avoided by setting up a schedule or rotation long before the trip begins. In another example, if your family has a tendency to overeat at certain get-togethers, you may need to avoid buying too many desserts or snack foods to begin with. Focus on one issue at a time. Just as 2 Peter 1:5-8 tells us, if we have gifts and they are increasing, then we are useful to the kingdom of God. We cannot, however, overwhelm the whole family by harping on every little issue of self-control. If your family is dealing with outbursts on school days, having meltdowns due to evening busy-ness, and ALSO constantly fighting before Sunday services, rethinking each of those issues all at once could cause burnout, especially on the parent's side. But, if you choose one of those set of circumstances, evaluate what the push-button causes are, then you can give your energy in those moments, correcting your and your child's self-control. Then, once that issue or moment is dealt with, then you can refocus to another. Learn to delay gratification. Most of us must learn the skill and purpose of delayed gratification. By doing so, we see how self-control in the short term leads to good things in the long term. One way to do this is to set goals in saving and spending money through the use of chores. Parents,

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Last week, we replayed our original Five Minute Family recording. That's because while we are called Five Minute Family, the goal has never been to encourage you to spend only five minutes a day with your family. The goal was to point out how we all have to start somewhere, even when we have colossally failed previously. So, we encourage families to begin thinking intentionally about five strategic minutes of each and every day. Once your five minutes have been established, the growth can begin to multiple.Much like the fruit of the Spirit. Listen to these verses from Galatians 5:It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. (1) … For we, through the Spirit, by faith, are waiting for the hope of righteousness. (5) … For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love. For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (13-14) … But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. (16) … But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let's follow the Spirit as well. (22-25)Briefly, let us address that the nine attributes listed in verses 22 and 23 are referred to as the fruit, not fruits. We don't want to delve too deeply into the controversies people will make, but we do need to point out that an apple tree does not produce oranges. And, since fruit refers to the product or result of something and the Holy Spirit is one “tree,” we are all capable of all nine attributes of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. So, whether you call the nine attributes fruit or fruits, remember that the Holy Spirit is where the growth comes from. For example, we cannot excuse our personal habits or weaknesses by saying, “well, I am not a patient person.” With the Holy spirit, patience is not only possible, it is a product of when we are walking in the spirit as to our own flesh. And, yes, I am speaking to myself way more than to any of you on that one!Yet, fruit does not just appear. It must go through all the stages of growth and growing seasons. Some seasons are short, some are long, there are droughts and rainfalls. If we hold tight to God's truth that the Holy Spirit is inside of us and that when we stay planted in the fertile soil of His truth, then no matter what, we will show some level of growth. Hebrews 6:1 “Therefore let us move beyond the elementary teachings about Christ and be taken forward to maturity.”2 Peter 3:18 “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”Luke 17:5 “The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”Colossians 1:10 “We pray that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way; bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God.”Psalm 92:12-14 “The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon: planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age.”As we were planning this series, I made a tree graphic. Interestingly, when Jim looked at it, he pointed out that the Holy Spirit is the tree. Then, from top to bottom, I listed the fruit. Yet, when you think of how the tree grows, the top is only possible with a strong base. The top brings the crowning beauty and shows the efforts that have been put into growth.So, for our Fruit of the Spirit series, we are actually going to start with self-control. Please join us next week as we take a deep dive into each...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. As we discussed what our new topic would be for this week, we realized that there is more to discuss about remembering. Any good story, report, or project will go through necessary problem solving or information gathering, and the best way to do that is to cover the 5 w's and 1 h who, what, when, where, why, and how.The who to remember is clear - God. The what to remember is His word and truth - five of which we mentioned last week. The how to remember as a family we discussed two weeks ago and that devotional included some of the when and where as well. SO, what about the why… why remember?First, let's look at a quick definition of the word remember: “to bring an image or idea from the past into the mind.” Adults and children learn AND remember differently. Each person in the family may remember an event differently - depending on age, emotions, perspective and more. Families need to speak about the impact of family memories as well as individual memories of experienced family events. And, reality is that children will sometimes generate false memories in the learning process. For example, when we first moved to a new state, our son had a difficult time making friends. He was in-between two age-group sets. That, combined with his very active imagination, made me think he was beginning to lie to people about his life in our previous home. Thankfully, however, I realized that his emotions and perception of events were causing him to mis-remember what had actually occurred. He wasn't lying; he truly believed everything he was saying. This isn't all that unusual actually. One article I read mentioned how one twin will often remember an event as happening to them instead of to their twin.Memories are not a set of digital images able to replay accurately at any moment. Facts, imagined details, and interpretations will influence what a person remembers. So, what does remembering differently or inaccurately have to do with WHY we should remember things about God? Parents often do not realize that they themselves may be carrying around distorted memories of events, events that may have greatly impacted their view of God.As a child, the churches my family attended always had tithes and offerings taken up immediately after Lord's Supper. The only thing is… I was 18 before I realized that the offering was SEPARATE from the Lord's Supper. Obviously, I should have, but because they were always tied together, and there was never anything said about the money part being separate, I never really thought about it. When I attended a church near my college, the deacon said, “While not a part of the Lord's Supper, we have found this to be the best time in the order of service, so we will now take up any tithes and offerings.” This small memory and then the coupling with God's truth changed greatly my perspective about how God felt about money. My brain had falsely tied monetary giving back to Jesus's ultimate sacrifice on the cross. I know, odd, but a child's mind does not process properly. Had I not had an event to help correct this false thinking, I am not sure what other false beliefs about God I might have held.Children should not be left on their own to interpret and understand everything. If parents do not take time to discuss what their children think about a Bible story, what it means and more, then a child may misunderstand, and by trying to make sense of the story, they are left with false beliefs about God or even false memories about how open or closed communication was in their family home. Throughout the Bible we read that God implored His people to: “Watch yourselves that you do not forget the covenant of the Lord” Deuteronomy 4:9. “Remember the former things long past, For I am God and there is no other” Isaiah 46:9. “Do this in remembrance of Me” 1 Corinthians 11:24. “Remember the word that I said to you” John 15:20.

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Last week we talked about how a family can intentionally remember and reflect God's goodness - sharing our testimony and God's goodness in our lives, memorizing Scripture, informal conversations, and more. This week, we want to ask… Do you have the “memory of an elephant” or the “memory of a gnat?” Seriously, though, what should we remember about God? The reason it is important to remember the truth about God and His word is because our human memories are fickle. Some people can remember every little detail of fun events but difficult events seem to never even be processed. For other people, the opposite is true; every negative event is catalogued but good ones seem to never have even happened. For folks who process and keep the happy memories, life can be fairly easy sailing, but for most of the rest of us who do process the negative times, remembering can be a double-edged sword.Neuroscientists, psychiatrists, and psychologists are researching constantly how the brain stores memories and how those memories are retrieved. The general consensus right now is that traumatic memories are stored in the emotional brain centers composing the limbic system. Emotional triggers of sounds, sights, smells, and more can set off a cascade of difficult behaviors or coping mechanisms that are often not the best response - they are however the initial triggered response - what we call first thoughts (we have a different Five Minute Family podcast devoted to first thoughts if you are interested in more information). Many experts suggest that someone working through anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and other issues like those work instead to take back conscience responsiveness through controlled breathing, placing your hand on a painful area of the body, locking your eyes on an object and thinking about five specific ideas about the object itself, and more. Let's never forget Romans 12:2, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” We, as Christ-followers, need to process our first thoughts through God's truth as we remember, and then deliver them rightly as God thoughtss.For further healing after a traumatic event, experts suggest that a person go back into a time of memories when they felt right with the world. But, what do we do when the memories that come up are hurtful, harmful, or discouraging? What about those children whose first memories of life are frightening, abusive, or traumatic in any way?Psalm 73:26 reminds us, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”BUT GOD… the two best words to remember! No matter how bad your own memories may be, no matter what sins you have struggled with, God is here, and He wants us to remember HIS GOODNESS above all else. God's word is full of numerous truths and details, stories and values. So, let's explore the first five principles we feel a God-honoring family might focus on remembering.Remember His love. Jesus said, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' Upon these two commandments hang the whole Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:37-40Remember His deliverance. “When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.” Psalm 34:17Remember his grace. “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9Remember His mercy. “Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.” Luke 6:36Remember His forgiveness. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. This morning, we are going to look back as directed by God. Many times in Scripture God tells us to remember. Remember His goodness in creation. Remember His goodness in your family. Remember His promises for mankind. And the list can go on and on. Let us expand further into this concept of remembrance. Jim brought up the concept of remembering at dinner the other evening. Sometimes, it can be difficult to recall some of the good things God can and is doing. And, well, our kids hate to give a wrong answer. They did not jump on the questions as easily as he expected. We have had formal family discussion times before, but being somewhat unsure of Jim's main point, their short answers probably should have been anticipated.Deuteronomy 6 is a recounting of Moses's teaching the Israelites, and we see in verses 6 and 7, “These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”The key point is that we are not supposed to simply take God's words and directions and keep them to ourselves. Take them to heart and repeat them. And, not just once, but throughout the day. This passage is not directing us to put together a PowerPoint presentation about God and lecture them into the hearts of our children. What I began thinking about in our dinner conversation is what things do we do as a family that reflects God's goodness and is shown by the goodness of our family within the family and towards others. I will say that sarcasm and humor are on that list. I did not give my children a formal class on how to add humor to daily situations, but I can see that the kids sure did pick up what I was communicating. We are proud to see, though, that kindness and respect is on that family list of traits that reflect God's goodness. One of our son's is very shy and would rather not interact with many outside our immediate family, but he does show kindness and respect towards others despite his discomfort. Our commitment to love God and love people, although not formally taught, has been grasped. Remembering what is taught about loving God and others is heartwarming for any parent and brings God glory and honor. So, how does a five-minute family take the concept of remembering into their homes?1. Informal training like we talked about is a good step and follows good biblical advice. As a parent, though, I need to realize and be aware of opportunities to pass along what to remember and that has to be intentionally planned. Now, that almost sounds formal, but you can take a topic - say God's creation - and plan to slip it into your conversations. Next day, think about another topic. 2. Family remembrance time. Finding time when everyone is together can be difficult in this modern world but make a plan and stick to it. Share some times when God has been gracious to you and your family. Look back at old family albums and share the legacy of family. Talk about the struggles you have had and how God is merciful and faithful to His promises. 3. Sharing your testimony. Of course this has to be age appropriate, but don't lie or cover up when questions are asked. This can be difficult. Prepare and pray before having this conversation with your family. The emphasis should be on the goodness of God, your faith and belief and how He has transformed your heart and life. 4. Scripture memorization. There is nothing better than remembering the Word of God. “For God so loved the World that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” John 3:16. That right there is a great start!5. Create some resolutions together and discuss them at planned times. What is important to you and your family? It would not hurt to even write these down. A...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Let's talk about worship. Worship is not simply singing on a Sunday morning. Worship isn't just listening to the gospel station throughout the week. Worship isn't merely an act or ceremony of reverence. Worship does not only involve songs or singing. We worship in every choice we make. We worship in every act we participate in. As Christ-followers, worship is about sustaining our relationship with God - through songs, yes, but also through prayers, Bible study, tithing, giving, serving, and more. Most churches do, however, have a formal, congregational worship time in which we sing songs, lift our hands in praise, bow our heads in prayer, and sync our hearts to the God of the universe. In each church we have been a part of through the years, there is always at least one person who worships with emotional and physical abandon. Now, obviously, there are always ones doing it for show, but the ones whose hearts are captured, who are turning their minds, bodies, and souls to focus on their Lord, those ones are difficult to look away from. Sometimes, they make us smile - not laughing at them but being enveloped in their joy. Sometimes, they make us cry - not in sadness but in the raw response of clear emotions and thoughts that flow from them. So, let me ask you, during that formal worship section of the church service, are you actually worshipping or are you worrying?Worrying about who sees you check your phone messages during the serviceWorrying about whether your makeup and hair are in style enoughWorrying about who can tell what sin you committed last nightWorrying about whether the sermon will get done in time so that you can get x, y, or z accomplished todayWorrying about how your child's behavior may embarrass youWhat do we as five-minute parents need to demonstrate for our children so that these worries do not supersede the heart of our family or congregational worship times?We need to demonstrate that there are different types of worship and our hearts must be in tune with the Lord to truly understand His purpose.First, there is the physical worship of the Lord. No, you do not have to go to the altar and kneel every time you are praying, but you do need to physically worship the Lord in bowing and kneeling and standing, depending on the occasion, place, and time. Take for example Psalm 95:6 “let us worship and bow down” and Job 1 when Job “fell on the ground and worshipped.”Next, the Bible specifically mentions spiritual worship in some translations of Romans 12:1. When that verse and others such as Psalm 29:2 reference worship, it is referring more to the spirit and soul as opposed to the physical aspect of worship. This does not mean that we just feel moved, although we may. Spiritual worship is more than our emotions; it is a state of being. Do we have a mindfulness of God's splendor as we worship Him? As we worship the Lord, we serve Him. As we are fervent in the spirit, we must choose to serve Him. As Luke 4:8 points out, “You shall worship the Lord your God, and him only shall you serve.”Then, as we give thanks in our worship, we are to make his deeds known to others. Evangelical worship is a foundational part of worshipping God. Meditate on Psalm 105:1 and Psalm 108:3 to think about the testimonial aspect of worshipping of our Lord. And, lastly, we must always remember to learn more about God's word as an act of worship. Learning and studying God's Word is a fundamental type of worship as Psalm 119:7 demonstrates, “I will praise you with an upright heart, when I learn your righteous rules.”The next time you are in a congregational worship experience, pause. Breath in. Breath out. And, ask God to fill you with His heart of worship. Likewise, start looking for opportunities to pause in everyday tasks and see how you can worship God in that exact moment. Worship is...

Good morning, Five Minute Families! Christians around the world just celebrated Easter. What a roller coaster of a week Jesus had leading up to His crucifixion and resurrection. That week began with the Triumphal Entry into Jerusalem. The quickest synopsis we can give is that Jesus brings peace between God and man. Since entering a town on a horse indicated you wanted war with the people, but entering on a donkey indicated you wanted peace, the donkey sent that message as Jesus's purpose. Let's talk about peace or war in the family unit. A friend shared that after a recent argument with her husband, she felt convicted by the Holy Spirit to apologize; even though she really didn't see what she had done wrong. She obeyed the prompting anyway. After she approached her husband and apologized, he immediately responded that she had done nothing wrong, the fault was his and that while he appreciated her heart in the matter, as soon as she apologized, he was convicted of her actual innocence in the argument. Please note, she was not trying to manipulate her husband into accepting his guilt. She was obeying the Lord. She felt that if the Lord was telling her to say ‘I'm sorry' that He would also reveal what part she had handled poorly. God had a different plan for her obedience. Her obedience brought reconciliation and peace back into their home. How do you approach your family members - with a peace mindset or a war mindset?Let me give you another quick example. As I have mentioned before, one of our son and I butted heads often in his teen years. After so many miscommunications, disrespectful moments, and teen defiance, I began to enter every situation with him with a war mindset. That certainly seemed his mindset, and unfortunately, I met that mindset step for step. It was a recipe for further conflict and hurt. When I stopped taking his behavior personally, trusting God to work in his life while I obeyed the Lord in my parenting, the war began to die away. He still saw me as the enemy for a time, but with a mindset of peace, I could better see him from the Lord's perspective and not my own hurts. Note that peace can have different meanings in different contexts. As our pastor put it, peace can simply mean that we are not currently fighting OR a broken relationship has been restored. So in Matthew 5:9 when God says, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God” which peace did he mean? Well, the term ‘peacemaker' is used only once in the New Testament but the root of the word ‘peace' is used 92 times in 86 verses. That root refers to the peace of joining - of setting together as one, again. How can a five-minute family have a mindset of peace? The best option to bring about peace is to prevent war in the first place. As a family, you need a plan for peace. That plan needs to include an attitude of gratitude, kindness, patience, courtesy, and humility. By choosing to invest everyone's time and efforts on the fruit of the spirit, you can stay better united - more peaceful in the first place. Annnnd, how do we have a mindset of peace in the midst of division?Ask God to reveal to you the other family member's hurt. Open yourself up to see your loved one as God sees them and that includes the hurt that YOU have inflicted on them.Verbally remind your loved one, especially children, that you are on their side, that you want the best for them. Admit when you don't know what the best should be yet or when you let your own pride or desires get in the way, but choose to have your loved one's best interest in mind.Sometimes, there are situations that we intentionally avoid because though they are in need of resolution, if our mindset is still one of war instead of peace, we must keep coming back to time of praying until the Lord tells us when to enter into a discussion that will lead to peace, not more hurt and war.Remember, seek out...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. We live in the digital age. As a five-minute family, let's honor God with our technology use. But, how exactly can we do that? By making the most of technology. Let's explore five examples, though I am sure there are many more.For family time, use online games to get everyone doing the same thing, even with a cell phone, computer, or tablet in their hands. We went to dinner at a friend's house, and we were surprised when our hosts suggested we all gather around the television to play a game. We all took out our devices, turned on wifi, logged onto a specific webpage with a code that showed on the television, and began to play TOGETHER - young and old, smart and, well, maybe-not-as-informed. There were a variety of games, and we all had strengths and weaknesses that made us laugh. It was friendly competition that allowed us all to participate. To deepen family relationships, we need time together. Yet, we live in a world where work and hobbies will take us around the world from our loved ones. We can use technology to our advantage. I missed an opportunity to stay in better contact with a friend when we moved years ago. She wanted to video chat, but I felt uncomfortable with both the technology and my own appearance. We are still friends, but I miss seeing her more. With two adult sons who do not live close by and one itty bitty grandchild, we decided that as awkward as it might be, we are going to use technology to deepen our relationships with one another. So, do those video chats even if your hair looks awful. It is the smiles, the laughs, the connection that matters; that is what we will each remember, not whether mama's hair looked good that day.To free up time as well as aid in visual noise reduction, use technology to reduce your mail time, organization time, and cleaning time. You will still need to go through your now online bank statements, or read your now online work journals, but digital options of those and many other items will allow you to better focus the time and efforts that the hard copy options required. As we have mentioned before, one of our sons is a medical mystery. Even when he receives a diagnosis or a piece of the medical puzzle, the results are almost always atypical. This has made daily living a challenge for him. By employing digital options, it has become much easier to journal all the various parts of his day that need evaluation. The digital journal not only helps take the guesswork out of related events, but it also allows for a much more easily searched database. We still have some work to do to fully employ digital use for his medical journey, but the steps we HAVE taken have allowed more consistency and peace in a discomforting and difficult time.And, last, never forget that technology gives us the option of learning together, whether looking at the same educational video cuddled on the couch together, or by looking at the same video and messaging one another from across the globe. Be intentional with your technology and time together. Also, discuss what you just watched. We love movies and good stories, and seeing deeper lessons in the simplest of stories will take those stories from entertainment to education. Just do not turn that opportunity to lectures. 1 Corinthians 6:12 reminds us, “‘All things are lawful for me,' but not all things are helpful. ‘All things are lawful for me,' but I will not be dominated by anything.” Don't let your family life be dominated by technology, but use it to your advantage. Just as 1 Corinthians 10:31 states, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” That's why this Five Minute Family devotion and podcast exist. We know that all of our listeners cannot come to Clear View Retreat for a family camp or marriage retreat, but every family can learn and grow and glorify the Lord TOGETHER.Speaking of learning together,...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. It will be the beginning of garden season soon. Spring has begun. New seasons, new plants, new development. Is your family ready to enter into a new season of growth?On Friday, I was at a women's conference, and one of the other exhibitors was Josh MacLeod of Instruments of Joy. As he and my mother discussed theological issues, he shared the analogy of the acorn. An acorn planted does not grow immediately. It can take up to three years of all the right environmental components for the acorn to turn into a maturing tree, yet that tree will not produce more acorns until it is approximately 20 years old. Those early years are vital to get the seed to sprout, the sprout to root, and the root to establish well into the ground water. Yet, we do not want the roots to stay at the surface. The roots must grow down deep to reach into the water table, to establish strength for the storms that the exposed parts of the tree WILL experience. Jeremiah 17:8 He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.Psalm 1:3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.The acorn analogy and previous verses remind us of the concept we heard of years ago called greenhouse parenting. The Sayler family - a former homeschool family with five adult children - used that expression for illustrative purposes of their parenting style. In greenhouse seedlings, they are only kept in the protective shield of the greenhouse and its ideal environment as needed. The plants are still exposed to the necessary elements to give them further strength, and when the use of the greenhouse and natural environment have been used effectively, then the plants emerging permanently from the greenhouse are able to withstand the elements. As greenhouse parents, we need to make sure our children have:Proper nutrients. These proper nutrients are God's word and our love. As Deuteronomy 6:5-7 states, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children.”Proper environment. Just as the greenhouse provides temperature control, five-minute greenhouse parents must provide the proper balance of information. Ephesians 6:4 reminds us that we must bring up our children in discipline and instruction of the Lord, and we cannot do that by allowing every little worldly influence into our home. We must be discerning and wise.Exposure. In a greenhouse model, plants are given exposure to outside elements as needed. Children raised in a bubble or hovered over - or for our analogy kept in the greenhouse at all times without any real-life exposure - will not grow deep roots. We do not want our children to be unfamiliar with the actual difficulties they will face, but we do it in age-appropriate ways to give them a chance to process and grow those roots deeper for the later strength they will need. Remember James 1:2-4 “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”Protection. The greenhouse offers needed protection at the proper times. We have to be willing to be there for our children if or when they find themselves in an uncomfortable situation go, get them into a safe protective space, and then, begin the tough work of the greenhouse to help their roots grow deeper than they were before. Psalm 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” If God protects us,

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Thank you for joining us this morning. Today, we want to share something that has made an impact in a number of lives and the Bible verses that apply. Recently in a mentoring session, a lady and I were discussing how difficult it is to fight for a relationship when trust has been broken. I remembered a saying that I had heard a couple of years ago while I was going through a tough medical time. “Marriage is hard; divorce is hard. Choose your hard. Obesity is hard; being fit is hard. Choose your hard. Being in debt is hard; being financially disciplined is hard. Choose your hard. Communication is hard; miscommunication is hard. Choose your hard. Life will never be easy. It will always be hard. But we can choose our hard. Choose wisely.”One who walks with wise people will be wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm. Proverbs 13:20And, Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.If your family has an addiction to screen time, it. Will. Be. Hard. to stop using devices so often. But, it would be hard for your children to apply self-control, to have good mental health, to maintain a proper weight, and to desire physical fitness, IF you do not do the hard thing and put device controls in place. Choose your hard.If your family has a habit of clamming up and waiting for the emotion of anger to pass before communicating again, it will be hard to be honest and transparent about the conflicts that arise. But, not talking these things out may manifest in no communication at all as the children grow up, causing ongoing hurts and wounds that last a lifetime.Choose your hard.Making decisions to not eat out after church each Sunday because the family budget needs to stabilize can be hard. You may feel a loss of fellowship with other church members. You may have to wait until the meal at home has been prepared. But, continuing to spend more money than you are making for the convenience of not cooking a meal, will be hard - with credit card payments, bad credit, difficulty saving for the future, for urgent, random expenses such as to pay for emergency dental care when a child needs a root canal. Choose your hard.Mentoring, counseling, speaking with your pastor… those are hard. It can be embarrassing to admit you and your family don't have all the answers and aren't doing everything right. But, getting help in the early stages of difficult moments can help train your family to better handle a major life change. Not going to mentoring or counseling can lead to broken relationships and bitterness and resentment taking root.Choose your hard.This is not about pushing yourself at all costs. If you are choosing the hard of getting up 30 minutes early to set up a habit of exercising, but you never take a rest day, then you are not choosing the hard every day. We all need rest. Physical fitness experts do NOT recommend formal exercise every single day, nor do they recommend extreme caloric restriction, except in isolated cases under a doctor's care. So, choosing your hard isn't about always pushing yourself; it is about choosing wisely in each moment. Just as Ecclesiastes expresses, there is a time for everything. Which means, the hard you choose will not always be the same hard as the day before. Choose your hard.If you feel frustrated or take offense to the “choose your hard” mentality, please know that we are not speaking to everyone at this moment. Sometimes, we cannot choose. Someone does not choose a cancer diagnosis. No one chooses to lose the person they love the most. Choices are often made for us. Finances bind us. Choosing between food on the table or gas in the car to get to work in order to try to make money to put food on the table… that doesn't feel like a choice. It feels like a trap. But, God can help you make the smallest of changes to

Good morning, Five Minute Families! Last week we discussed WHY your family may be dealing with boredom. This week is HOW to combat boredom as a family. Since you can find hundreds of detailed activities on the internet, we aren't going to reinvent the wheel here. We want you to begin by getting into the specifics about your family's identity so that you know HOW to combat boredom in a way that will reach the hearts and minds of your unique family unit. For example, if I suggested a “self-care” evening with manicures and pedicures to my family of men, they would likely be just as bored as doing nothing for days. However, if my brother-in-law suggested the same thing to his house full of females, it might be a hit. A stereotypical example, but I think you see what I mean. Five-minute families, parents especially, you must begin by taking responsibility for the why of the family boredom. One of the main REASONS for boredom is a lack of meaning, so the first step is to combat ongoing boredom is to pray and find meaning in your family life. If you are simply going through the motions of school, sports, chore, church, repeat, then you need to focus your devotional time asking God to give you direction on the unique purpose that your family holds in His kingdom. He has one; it might not be as renowned as Billy Graham's family or even your own pastor's family, but your family's role in God's kingdom is JUST AS IMPORTANT as theirs. Romans 12:6 reminds us, we have “gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them.”Next up, get creative. Try to think outside the box. We know that God is able to do far more abundantly than all that we can think of (Ephesians 3:20), so ask Him for ideas. Maybe your family used to love going to the park but now that the kids are little older, you can't think of what to do. A longer hike and trail plan might do, but you might be ready for a complete change. Something odd like beginning to organize old photos and talk about the people in their past and their legacy of Christ-following. Maybe write a book together. Obviously, the list is endless. Spend a bit of time doing an internet search for creative ideas. Remember, you need to get organized. Once you have an idea, present it to the family. Have details -dates and places - in mind. Children need structure, but so do we parents, and by preparing ahead of time, you will be able to answer most questions that threaten to throw you all back into the loop of indecision. Apply Proverbs 21:5 here - “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.”Now, we just said get organized, but you also need to be spontaneous. And, no, those two things are not contradictory terms. The more organized you are about options, the more flexibility you have to add in something spontaneously. Some families are so over-scheduled that having some time at home is a welcome reprieve. Those times are not what we are talking about. We are talking about the times when ‘nothing of consequence' happening, and no relationships are being deepened. When down time allows, pull out some of those organized ideas and offer the family some fun time together at a moment's notice. In both Ephesians 5:16 and Colossians 4:5, Paul encourages us to “make the most of every opportunity!”Don't forget that you are going to have to get active here. If you are a lazy person (come on now, you know who you are), then you might have to push yourself to get into the habit of engaging. If you are an active person who doesn't include the slower people in your family, you might have to slow down a bit. If you as the parent are ill, you might have to bring in help or accept options that don't include you in the moment, but if you have been integral in the planning and you are focused in the sharing, then even you can participate as physical and mental health allow. Whether you are lazy, scared,...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. We are going to do a two-part series about boredom. That's right. Boredom. Boring. Bored. Now, we aren't talking about the eight-year-old who isn't allowed to be on his devices for the day so he goes around saying he is bored. We are going to talk about a bored family, one in which most if not all of the family members would classify their family life as boring. So, first this week, we are going to explore reasons why we as a family can get bored. Evening after evening, weekend after weekend sometimes families find themselves in a season of boredom. Boredom can come from many different situations.The reality of the world we live in today is that most of us are technologically overstimulated. We are fed ongoing, ever-changing sets of information that give constant stimulation to the brain. The trouble is that conversations in real time are slower, they have more interruptions, especially depending on the ages of any children in the home, and often times we need extra time to really convey our thoughts. We must remember that the information we have constantly downloading and the videos we watch are most often only after multiple retakes and heavy editing, yet still so often we expect our family members to understand our inaccurate descriptions of said videos or we get aggravated when a family member can't engage the way we want, as fast as we want, so then we all turn back to feed the dopamine loop our devices deliver, leaving us less and less satisfied with real-life interactions. Thus, family life bores us, and we grow more and more distant and disconnected. Sometimes, our family life has become too routine. We know what to expect, have experienced the same things day in and day out for weeks, months, or years, and the monotony has become boring. Routine can be helpful especially for children and neuro-divergent people, like people with autism or adhd. Interestingly, however, just like devices create a dopamine release, so does novelty. Having something different to look forward to often reduces stress and increases creativity, leading to a less bored outlook. The flipside of having become too routine is being too disorganized. You might be wondering how being disorganized leads to be boredom… well, if the parents haven't planned and organized family time, then the typical propensity for everyone is to disengage and find their own things to do in downtime, and, you guessed it, the typical activity to turn to is device use.Some families find that they are afraid to engage in outside activities or biblical community participation. Unfortunately, some folks are raised in way that suggests anything fun is a waste of time and nothing but hard work is a waste of time. But, John 10:10 tells is that “the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” Or, maybe you are nervous because your toddler is going through a whirlwind, deviant phase, so you retreat into the house to maintain control. Whatever your reason may be for fearing engagement with your biblical community, realize that it may be directly contributing to your family's boredom, and you may need to explore the reason and ask God to guide what activities you should get involved in together.And, finally, all too often, we begin to live meaningless lives. We aren't sure of what our gifts are, or think we don't have any gifts. Or we believe that because we are still learning and growing we are somehow incapable of serving for the Lord. Whatever the reason, we begin to just go through the motions of living without any meaning or purpose behind our actions. Which, yep, you guessed it, often leads us to be bored with our meaningless lives. Paul states in Philippians 4:12 “I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and...