The Inside Social Work Podcast

Why We Avoid Talking About S3x (And How to Start)Conversations about sex often feel awkward, avoidant or emotionally loaded. I talk about what's happening underneath the surface, how gender myths and pressure shape desire, and what couples can do to reconnect with honesty and care.In this episode, I share :How emotional safety shapes intimacyWhat's really behind avoidance in long-term relationshipsGender myths and pressure in sexual desireWhy non-sexual connection mattersHow to talk about sex without shame or fearWhen therapy might helpResourcesGottman Love Deck App: gottman.com/couples/appsRelationship Refresh Course: https://marievakakis.com.au/courses/relationship-refresh/ Therapy Hub: thetherapyhub.com.auNot Having Enough Sex in Your Relationship?https://marievakakis.com.au/not-having-enough-sex-in-your-relationship/ FREE resource to help you talk about sex, desire and connection https://marie-vakakis.mykajabi.com/pl/2148681133 Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

What if your therapist just gets it and you don't have to explain everything from scratch?That's what this episode is all about. I sat down with Tham Fuyana, Social Worker family Therapist and Educator, to talk about what it's like navigating therapy as a BIPOC client. BIPOC stands for Black, Indigenous, and people/ person of colour In this episode, Tham shares his reflections growing up as a Black migrant, navigating services that didn't always see him, and why representation in therapy matters.Key takeawaysWhat people mean when they talk about “finding a BIPOC therapist”Why it's not just about matching identities but understanding lived experienceHow intersectionality shows up in the therapy roomThe emotional cost of constantly having to explain your backgroundWhat makes some clients feel safer and more understoodThe layers of distrust that come from experiences with police, migration and health systemsHow a sense of collective identity can offer comfort and where it can be complexThe importance of cultural humility and curiosity in therapeutic workIf this conversation sparked something for you, whether you're a client looking for support or a professional thinking about your own practice, keep the momentum going. Share it with someone who needs to hear it, have the hard chats and take a look at who's in the room with you. Because who we sit with matters.ResourcesThe Therapy Hubwww.thetherapyhub.com.auConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Do you ever feel like you're just not good enough, even when you're doing all the right things? In this conversation with psychologist Belinda Gibson, we explore the roots of that persistent feeling of inadequacy. We unpack how perfectionism, people-pleasing and harsh self-talk can sneak into our lives and affect our relationships, even when we don't realise it.We talk about where these beliefs start, how they show up, and what you can do to respond differently. If you've ever struggled with feeling like you're not enough, this episode offers insight, reflection and a reminder that you're not alone.What We Cover:Why feelings of not being good enough are more common than you thinkHow perfectionism can mask deeper self-doubtWays to recognise when harsh self-criticism is running the showHow these patterns show up in relationshipsPractical ways to respond with more curiosity and compassionResources Mentionedhttps://self-compassion.org/ BooksBrene Brown The Gifts of ImperfectionAbout BelindaBelinda is a registered Psychologist and Gestalt Psychotherapist, and is the founder and director of Footscray Counselling Centre, where she provides individual, couples and groups with relationally orientated psychotherapy supervision and therapy.Belinda also works as a consultant to various academic and medical organisations, facilitating reflective group practice, training workshops and supervision.https://footscraycounsellingcentre.com.au/ Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Do you overthink everything? Lie awake, running through worst-case scenarios?Worry can be exhausting. It often shows up as planning, perfectionism, or a loop of “what if” thoughts that are hard to switch off. In this episode, I'm joined by clinical psychologist Dr Lillian Nejad to talk about what worry really is, how it differs from anxiety, and why some people find it so difficult to stop.We explore how worry can sometimes be helpful, when it becomes unhelpful, and what it looks like in everyday life. Lillian shares simple tools to reduce the impact of worry and explains how her app, Contain Your Brain, can support clearer thinking and greater emotional control.About my guestDr Lillian Nejad is a clinical psychologist who supports people to manage anxiety, stress, and sleep. She is the creator of the Contain Your Brain app and founder of Skills for Life, an online hub offering practical mental health resources.In this episode, we cover• What worry is and how it differs from anxiety• Why we worry and how to recognise when it becomes unhelpful• The three types of worry: solvable, unsolvable, and self-resolving• How worry can impact sleep, concentration, and relationships• Why some people confuse worrying with caring• Tools to manage worry without suppressing emotion• Signs it might be time to seek professional supportResourcesContain Your Brain app is available on iOS and AndroidFind out more at containyourbrain.com and drlilliannejad.com Insta@containyourbrain@drlilliannejadConnect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

What happens when society changes faster than young people can adapt?I'm joined by psychologist Jamie Maserow to explore the hidden impacts of lockdowns, remote learning and technology on young people's wellbeing. We unpack how the disruptions of recent years have shaped mental health, learning, and relationships, and why connection needs to come before correction.We also talk about why many traditional parenting approaches might not meet the needs of young people today, and what it looks like to build resilience through strong, consistent relationships.Key takeaways:How early learning gaps during lockdowns created lasting impactsThe rise of ADHD and autism diagnoses post-pandemicWhy online connection doesn't replace real-world relationshipsThe risks of mislabelling distress as a mental illnessWhy healthy boundaries and parental consistency are criticalHow social media affects young people's sleep, stress and self-esteemWhen therapy helps and why forcing it can backfirePractical ways parents and carers can reconnect meaningfullyResources:

What if one partner wants to work on the relationship and the other isn't sure they want to stay?In this episode, I talk with therapist Anne Carter about discernment counselling, a structured and supportive process for couples where one or both partners are ambivalent about staying together.We explore what makes this approach different from traditional couples therapy and how it helps couples make intentional, informed decisions,with whether that's to repair the relationship or separate with clarity and respect.Key takeaways:What discernment counselling is and who it's forThe difference between traditional couples therapy and discernment counsellingWhat often brings couples to this crossroadsThe three pathways couples might take after discernment counsellingHow to recognise if discernment counselling is right for your relationshipWhy ambivalence needs space, not pressure to shiftWhat therapists should consider when working with mixed agenda couplesIf you're feeling stuck in your relationship or navigating mixed intentions about staying or leaving, check out this episode. Whether you're the one leaning out or leaning in, this conversation offers thoughtful insight into what comes next and how to move forward with clarity.Resources:https://www.gottman.com/Contact Anne Carter, Certified Gottman Therapist and Certified Discernment Counsellor.Email: admin@welloflife.com.auWebsite: http://www.welloflife.com.au Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Wondering if your relationship should involve more sex or comparing yourself to what you think is normal? You're not alone. Many couples quietly struggle with mismatched desire, emotional disconnection or unclear expectations about what intimacy should look like.In this episode, I talk about what it really means to not be having enough sex, how responsive desire plays a role in long-term relationships, and why connection doesn't always come from frequency.This one is honest, awkward in all the right ways and full of practical ways to start talking about sex in a way that brings you closer, not further apart.Key takeaways:Why mismatched desire is more common than you thinkWhat the difference is between spontaneous and responsive desireHow shame, stress, and resentment affect libidoWhy “not enough sex” often isn't about sex at allHow to talk about desire and initiate without pressureThe myth of “normal” frequency in relationshipsThe dual control model: brakes, accelerators, and contextWhat couples can learn from Emily Nagoski's work?If this episode sounds like something you or your partner need to hear, share it with them. Sex is just one way we connect but the conversation around it can be the most meaningful part.Resources:Emily Nagoski – Come As You AreConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

What happens when love meets change? In this episode we explore the unique challenges and strengths of queer and gender diverse relationships, especially when one partner is transitioning. Therapist Jani Forest Wyatt joins me to unpack the myths, the moments of growth, and the importance of inclusive and affirming couples therapy.Jani shares insights from both professional and personal experience, from working with Gottman informed couples therapy to challenging stigma in broader social systems. This one's thoughtful, grounding and full of truth bombs that might change how you think about love, identity and connection.Key takeaways:How Jani's early experiences shaped her path to supporting transgender clientsWhat Gottman informed therapy looks like when working with queer couplesThe unique stressors queer and trans couples face in therapyMyths about relationships “not lasting” after a partner transitionsThe impact of societal judgement on trans individuals and their relationshipsWhy acceptance and emotional safety are key to relationship successHow clinicians can better support trans clients in intimate relationshipsThe power of personal motivation in shaping professional practiceResources:The Gottman InstituteAustralian Association of Social WorkersRainbow Health AustraliaIf this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who might find it helpful. I'd love to hear your thoughts—reach out and let me know what stood out to you.Contact Jani Forest-Wyatt - Learn more about her work:www.brilliancecounselling.com.au brilliancecounselling@gmail.com Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

There's a lot of advice about what to do to build a strong relationship. But what about the things emotionally healthy couples don't do?Join me, Marie Vakakis, a therapist, mental health, and relationships educator. In this episode, I explore six common habits that can damage trust, connection, and communication—and why avoiding them can make a big difference.Key takeaways:Sarcasm, eye-rolling, and small put-downs erode trust over time.Name-calling and labelling create emotional distance.Venting to friends instead of addressing issues can reinforce resentment.The silent treatment damages trust and communication.Forgetting milestones isn't about the big gestures—it's about showing care.Expecting one person to meet all emotional needs puts too much pressure on a relationship.If any of these sound familiar, you're not alone—and it's never too late to shift unhelpful patterns. If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who might find it helpful. I'd love to hear your thoughts—reach out and let me know what stood out to you!Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Ever caught yourself thinking, "They should just know what I need"? Unspoken expectations are one of the biggest sources of frustration in relationships. When our partners don't automatically meet our needs, it can leave us feeling unheard, unloved, or even resentful. But here's the thing—expecting someone to read your mind rarely works.Join me, Marie Vakakis, and my guest, psychotherapist Tracy Proud, as we explore why we struggle to express our needs, how childhood experiences shape our relationship patterns, and what happens when we expect our partners to "just know."Key Takeaways:Many of our expectations in relationships are shaped by early experiences, often without us realising it.Assuming our partners should "just know" what we need can lead to frustration and resentment.Open, honest communication is essential for expressing needs and strengthening connection.Conflict isn't usually about the surface issue—there's often a deeper meaning behind it.Understanding each other's perspectives helps break unhealthy patterns and fosters emotional intimacy.Resources:The Gottman Institute – Research-backed insights into relationship dynamics.Growing Yourself Up by Dr. Jenny Brown – A key resource for anyone looking to deepen their understanding of themselves and their relationships through the lens of family systems theory.If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who might find it helpful. I'd love to hear your thoughts—reach out and let me know what stood out to you!Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

In tough times, joy can feel out of reach. But sometimes, a single shared laugh has the power to lift the weight of the world—even in a hospital room, a funeral, or a difficult conversation.In this special episode, I'm adding my voice to Podcasthon , a global movement of over 1,600 shows across 47 countries. Instead of just mentioning a charity at the end, I wanted to go deeper and dedicate this episode to the incredible work of Clown Doctors—specially trained performers who bring laughter into hospitals to ease anxiety and pain.Together, we'll explore what laughter does to our bodies and our relationships, why it matters so much in hard moments, and how we can all make space for more playfulness in everyday life.Episode SummaryThis episode is a warm and science-backed reflection on the power of laughter—how it supports our mental health, deepens connection, and even has physical benefits. I talk about the inspiring work of Clown Doctors in Australia, how humour can be a tool for emotional repair, and why laughter belongs in even the most serious spaces.Key TakeawaysLaughter triggers feel-good chemicals like endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin, reducing pain and improving connectionScientific research shows laughter can reduce cortisol (our stress hormone) by up to 32%Humour can strengthen relationships, ease conflict, and build trust, especially with teens and in familiesClown Doctors Australia use laughter as a tool in hospitals to reduce anxiety and support healingLaughter helps us regulate our emotions and reconnect with others, especially in high-stress momentsSharing a laugh can shift the tone in difficult conversations and promote closenessWe can intentionally create more opportunities for laughter in everyday lifePlayful moments—even small ones—can offer relief, connection, and a sense of hopehttps://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37220157/https://humourfoundation.org.au/clown-doctors/https://www.podcasthon.org/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Ever feel like you and your partner are just co-existing rather than truly connecting? Maybe your conversations revolve around schedules, bills, and logistics, rather than shared experiences and meaningful moments.Join me, Marie Vakakis, therapist, mental health and relationships educator, as I share why friendship is the foundation of a strong relationship, how couples drift apart over time, and most importantly, how to rebuild connection and intimacy when you feel like housemates rather than partners.Key Takeaways:Friendship in a relationship creates trust, emotional safety, and longevity.Couples often drift apart due to stress, routine, and lack of prioritisation.Rebuilding connection starts with curiosity, shared activities, and appreciation.Conflict is inevitable, but handling it as teammates rather than opponents strengthens relationships.Small moments of connection—like humour, deep conversations, and prioritising fun—can reignite friendship.If your relationship feels more like a routine than a partnership, this episode is for you. Tune in to learn how to shift from housemates back to best friends.Resources:Bids for Connection – Recognising and responding to bids for connection in relationships.The Gottman Institute – Research-based insights on building strong relationships.If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who might find it helpful. I'd love to hear your thoughts—reach out and let me know what stood out to you!Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Couples therapy isn't just about fixing relationship problems—it can also play a huge role in improving mental health. Many people think of therapy as a last resort when things are falling apart, but research shows that relationship support can also help with anxiety, depression, trauma, and emotional regulation.I'm joined by Trish Purnell-Webb, a clinical psychologist, certified Gottman therapist, and trainer for the Gottman Institute, to discuss how couples therapy strengthens connection and supports mental well-being.Key TakeawaysCouples therapy can lead to better mental health outcomes than individual therapy in some cases.A strong, supportive relationship can help regulate emotions and ease stress.Many people with mental health struggles feel isolated—even in relationships.Learning skills like emotional attunement and validation can reduce distress.Therapy teaches couples how to navigate challenges together rather than suffering alone.ResourcesThe Gottman Institute's research on couples therapy effectiveness – www.gottman.comEmotionally Focused Therapy by Sue JohnsonIf this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who might find it helpful. I'd love to hear your thoughts—reach out and let me know what stood out to you.Contact Trish Purnell-Webb:www.trishpurnell-webb.com.au www.relationshipinstitute.com.auConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Ever had a small disagreement spiral into a huge argument? Maybe it started with an eye-roll, a forgotten text, or a messy kitchen bench. Suddenly, it's not about the dishes—it's about feeling unheard, unappreciated, or disconnected.Join me, Marie Vakakis, a therapist, mental health, and relationships educator. In this episode, I unpack why small fights often mask deeper issues, how to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy conflict, and ways to handle disagreements that strengthen connection rather than push you apart.Key takeaways:Conflict isn't just about the argument—it's about the deeper needs and emotions underneath it.Small issues left unresolved can build into resentment and disconnection.Healthy conflict strengthens trust, while unhealthy conflict creates emotional distance.The Four Horsemen—criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling—can erode trust if left unchecked.Repairing after a disagreement is more important than avoiding conflict altogether.The way we handle fights can bring us closer or push us further apart.If you're interested in how to approach conflict in a way that builds connection rather than breaks it down, check out Episode 52 – It's Not About the Fight—It's How You Fight.Resources:The Gottman Institute – www.gottman.comIf this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who might find it helpful. I'd love to hear your thoughts—reach out and let me know what stood out to you!Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Many couples only seek therapy when their relationship is already in serious trouble. But by the time they reach out, years of unresolved issues, built-up resentment, and unhealthy patterns can make it harder to repair their connection. So, what happens when couples wait too long to get support, and why is early intervention so important?Join me Marie Vakakis, a therapist, and mental health and relationships educator and Michelle Janssen as we discuss why couples therapy isn't just for relationships in crisis, how waiting too long can make healing more difficult, and how seeking support earlier can lead to better outcomes.Key takeawaysCouples often wait an average of six years before seeking therapy, allowing issues to worsen.Therapy is most effective when couples seek support before problems escalate.Unresolved conflicts, resentment, and miscommunication can become deeply ingrained over time.Many couples don't seek therapy due to stigma, fear, or the belief that things will improve on their own.Small issues left unaddressed can turn into significant relationship challenges.The earlier couples get support, the more tools they have to strengthen their relationship.Therapy isn't about fixing a broken relationship—it's about learning better ways to connect and communicate.ResourcesThe Gottman Institute's research on couples therapy effectiveness – www.gottman.com Four horseman Art and science of love workshopsIf this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who might find it helpful. I'd love to hear your thoughts—reach out and let me know what stood out to you.Contact Michelle Janssenhttps://www.brisbanecouplescounselling.com/info@brisbanecouplescounselling.com Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Why do we keep having the same fight?It can feel frustrating when the same arguments keep coming up. But conflict is not the problem. It is how we handle it that makes the difference. Research shows that most relationship conflicts are ongoing, yet avoiding them only builds resentment. The good news is that conflict, when managed well, can actually strengthen trust and connection.I am Marie Vakakis, a therapist, mental health and relationships educator. In this episode, I explore why conflict is normal, how small miscommunications can turn into bigger issues, and how curiosity, empathy and repair can help you navigate difficult conversations with your partner.Key takeawaysConflict is a normal and healthy part of relationshipsAvoiding difficult conversations does not make issues disappearSeventy percent of relationship conflicts are ongoing and unsolvableHow you approach conflict shapes trust and connectionRepairing after a disagreement is more important than never fightingWords, tone and active listening all play a role in resolving tensionSome people argue to be right, others to connect or feel in controlAsking questions with curiosity can lead to deeper understandingResources• Gottman Institute research on conflict in relationships – www.gottman.comIf this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might find it helpful. I would love to hear your thoughts, so reach out and let me know what stood out to you.Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Have you ever wondered when the right time is to try couples therapy? Or if you even need a major issue to start? Many people hesitate to seek support for their relationship, often waiting years before getting help—sometimes even separating without exploring their options.Today, we're tackling the most common questions about couples therapy, from how to know if it's right for you to what actually happens in a session. Joining me is Anne, my practice manager and the person who keeps everything running smoothly behind the scenes. Anne has gathered real questions from clients, friends, and people curious about what happens in couples therapy.We're covering everything from whether you need to forgive past mistakes to what to do if your partner refuses to come. And yes, we even get into the weirdest things couples have fought about in my sessions (spoiler: toilet paper placement can be a deal-breaker for some!).Key Takeaways: • When to seek therapy: You don't need a crisis to start—therapy can help at any stage, including as a preventative step. • How couples therapy works: From assessments to interventions, we break down what actually happens in a session. • What if my partner won't go? Tips for approaching the conversation and increasing the chances they'll say yes. • Affairs, open relationships, and trust: Can couples therapy help rebuild after betrayal or navigate non-traditional relationships? • The Gottman Method: Why I use it, and how science-backed assessments help guide therapy. • Traditional vs. Marathon Therapy: The difference between weekly sessions and intensive two- or three-day programs. • How long does it take? Realistic expectations for therapy length and why a “quick fix” isn't always the best approach. • Ground rules for therapy: What's acceptable (venting frustrations) and what's not (secret-keeping, name-calling). • Handling conflict: How understanding your partner's background can completely shift a heated debate. • Secrets in relationships: What's okay to keep private and what could be damaging to your connection.Resources Mentioned:

Have you ever wondered why grief feels so isolating?Many people expect grief to follow a straight path, something to "move on" from after a set amount of time. The reality is far more complex. In this episode, I sit down with psychologist and grief researcher Liam Spicer to explore what grief is, the myths that surround it, and how we can better support ourselves and others through loss.Grief is a universal human experience, yet so many of us struggle to talk about it openly. In this conversation, Liam shares insights from his work and personal experiences, breaking down common misconceptions about grief and bereavement. We discuss how grief extends beyond the loss of a loved one, why there's no "right way" to grieve, and the role of connection in healing.Key TakeawaysGrief isn't something you "get over"—it changes shape, but it doesn't disappear.There's no single timeline or correct way to grieve. Everyone's experience is unique.Grief isn't just about death—it can be triggered by life changes, lost opportunities, or even a shift in identity.Societal expectations can make grief harder by pressuring people to “move on” too quickly.Supporting someone who is grieving doesn't mean having the perfect words—sometimes, just showing up is enough.Guilt about feeling happy again is common, but it doesn't mean you've forgotten your loved one.There are ways to maintain a connection with someone you've lost, which can help with healing.ResourcesAustralian Centre for Grief and Bereavement – Fact sheets, resources, and support for grief.The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O'Connor – A science-based look at how grief affects us.It's OK That You're Not OK by Megan Devine – A compassionate guide for navigating grief.Liam Spicer's Website- Find out more about Liam's work and research Liam's Instagram https://www.instagram.com/liamspicer_/ connect@liamspicer.com.au Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

How Past Experiences Shape Our LivesWhy do certain situations trigger such strong emotions? Katheryn Eberly, a mental health social worker and family therapist, joins me to explore how early experiences shape our beliefs, why past wounds still affect us, and how we can start to shift unhelpful patterns.Key TakeawaysTrauma affects how we see ourselves and respond to stress."Big T" trauma stems from major events, while "little t" trauma comes from repeated distressing experiences.Core beliefs like "I'm not good enough" often develop in childhood.Emotional reactions in daily life can signal deeper unresolved experiences.Recognising patterns can help shift automatic responses.Resources MentionedWhat Happened to You? – Bruce Perry & Oprah WinfreySelf-compassion work by Kristin NeffPrevious episode: “I'm Not Good EnoughConnect with Kathrynhttps://restoringfamilies.com.au/ Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Have you ever wondered if your goals truly reflect what's most important to you? In this episode, clinical psychologist Patch Callahan joins me to break down the difference between values and goals and why living by your values is the key to a more meaningful and fulfilling life.We explore how to uncover your core values, navigate challenges in defining them, and integrate them into your everyday decisions. Whether you're reevaluating your priorities for the new year or seeking deeper alignment in life, this episode offers practical insights to help you connect with what truly matters.Episode SummaryPatch Callahan shares the transformative power of values, particularly in the context of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). We discuss how values differ from goals, why they matter, and actionable steps to define and live by them. Tune in to discover how aligning your life with your values can lead to greater purpose and authenticity.Key Takeaways • Values vs. Goals: Values guide your actions and choices, providing meaning, while goals are specific targets or achievements. • Why Values Matter: Living according to your values fosters authenticity and a sense of purpose.Defining Your Values: • Reflect on key life domains: family, relationships, work, health, and leisure. • Identify what's deeply important to you within each domain. • Narrow your focus to 5–6 core values that resonate most. • Challenges in Identifying Values: Overcoming confusion or uncertainty requires reflection, experimentation, and sometimes professional support. • Practical Tips for Value-Based Living: • Use discomfort as a guide—it often points to what matters most. • Prioritise decisions that align with your core principles. • Build psychological flexibility to stay committed to your values even when faced with challenges.ResourcesBullseye Activity: A practical tool for clarifying and connecting with your values. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FOEsnX87HoLearn More About Patch Callahan: Patch's Bio and ServicesIf this episode resonated with you, share it with someone reflecting on their priorities this year! Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and join the conversation about living with purpose.Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Have you ever found yourself questioning your drinking habits or wondering why alcohol feels so deeply woven into our social lives? This episode will inspire you to take a closer look at addiction, coping strategies, and the pressures around drinking.In this episode, I sit down with psychologist Tara Hurster, an expert in addiction and substance use, to challenge the myths surrounding addiction and explore how we can make healthier, more intentional choices. From practical tools like the HALT method to navigating sober dating, Tara offers invaluable insights for anyone looking to change their relationship with alcohol.What We Cover in This EpisodeUnderstanding Addiction Beyond the MythsAddiction isn't about weakness or moral failure; it's a learned way to cope with life's stresses and traumas.Tara shares her journey from supporting peers in high school to becoming an addiction specialist.Addiction Isn't a DiseaseAddiction is not a disease or a moral failing—it's a behavioural response to stress and emotions.Tara recounts her experiences working in an inpatient psychiatric hospital and how they shaped her views.Practical Strategies for Managing Substance UseThe HALT method: Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? Tara adds “Hydrated” and “Health” to the mix for a more holistic approach.Tara explains how checking in with these needs can prevent mindless behaviours, like reaching for a drink.Navigating Social Pressures Around AlcoholSimple strategies for declining a drink, from “I'm not drinking today” to a white lie like “I'm on antibiotics.”Setting boundaries is okay and can help you maintain your goals.Sober Dating: Building Authentic ConnectionsTips for enjoying dates without alcohol and focusing on meaningful connections.Tara introduces the FRIES acronym: Freely Given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific, to help with decision-making in dating and intimacy.The Sober Curious MovementA growing trend encouraging people to question their relationship with alcohol. Younger generations are leading the charge by embracing life without booze.Resources MentionedAlcohol and Drug Information Service: Call 1800 250 015 or visit ADIS WebsiteConnect with Tara Hurster:Website: Tara ClinicInstagram: @TaraHursterEnjoyed the Episode?If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on your favourite podcast platform. It helps others discover the show and keeps me inspired to create more conversations like this. Don't forget to subscribe and share this episode with someone who might benefit!

Holidays are meant to be magical, but let's be honest – they can also be a whirlwind of stress, unmet expectations, and arguments over things like... ham on napkins. Ever found yourself mid-fight during the holiday season, wondering, “What are we even fighting about?” This episode is for you.As a therapist, I see this all the time in my sessions: couples bickering over seemingly small things that often hold deeper meaning. Today, I'm unpacking what's really behind those seemingly silly holiday fights and sharing practical ways to handle them with curiosity and connection.We'll explore why the conflict isn't really about the napkins or the ham, but what they represent – memories, traditions, or unmet needs. So, whether you're dealing with family chaos, mismatched holiday vibes, or just the general holiday rush, I've got you covered.Key Takeaways:Why holiday fights are rarely about what they seem – and how to figure out what's really going on.The importance of understanding your partner's holiday traditions and what they mean to them.How to approach disagreements with curiosity rather than conflict.Tips for validating your partner's feelings (even if you don't agree!).Why compromise is healthy – and how to do it without dismissing each other's needs.How to start meaningful conversations about celebrating holidays together.The power of acknowledging sadness when things don't go as planned.Resources:Well, Hello Anxiety Podcast: My conversation with Jodi Richardson where we chatted about mismatched holiday vibes, setting boundaries, and handling family chaos. Listen here.Christmas holiday boundaries blog – Additional tips and articles on holiday stress and relationship dynamics.If you've enjoyed this episode, don't forget to leave a review and subscribe for more conversations on navigating life and relationships. Let's keep the conversation going on social media – I'd love to hear your thoughts!Ready to hit reset on your relationship? Join me for a workshop packed with practical tools and guided prompts to help you and your partner communicate better, tackle tricky topics like money, and create a clear plan for the year ahead. -- JOIN ME LIVE--https://marievakakis.com.au/events/

Does the holiday season leave you feeling stressed and overcommitted? With endless parties, gift exchanges, and family gatherings, it's easy to say yes to everything and forget about your own needs. In this episode, I'm sharing how to set boundaries that protect your energy, time, and budget, so you can truly enjoy the festive season without the burnout.I'll explore why setting boundaries matters and how to communicate them clearly, even when it's hard. From managing tricky family dynamics to sticking to a budget for gifts and dinners, this episode is packed with practical strategies to help you navigate the holidays with more ease and confidence.In this episode I discuss How to recognise your limits and avoid overcommitting during the holidaysWhy boundaries are about your actions, not controlling othersTips for setting clear financial limits without guiltHow to manage social and family pressures with calm and confidenceThe power of saying no and following through on your boundariesPractical ways to offer alternatives that work better for youConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

If you've ever wondered why your teen seems on edge or overwhelmed, you're not alone. Anxiety in teens can feel daunting to understand and even harder to navigate. In this episode, I break down the basics of anxiety, what might be going on with your teen, and how you can truly support them. Whether it's about recognising the signs, fostering empathy, or knowing when to seek help, this episode is packed with practical advice you can put into action today.Key Takeaways:Understanding the difference between stress and anxiety: Stress is often tied to specific events and can dissipate once the issue resolves. Anxiety, however, can linger and feel harder to manage.Why teens are more prone to anxiety: During adolescence, critical brain development and life pressures make teens more vulnerable to intense emotions.Common triggers for anxiety in teens: These can include schoolwork, social pressures, family dynamics, and even global issues like climate change.The importance of empathy: Listening without dismissing your teen's feelings is key. Simple phrases like, "That sounds really hard," can go a long way in showing support.Helping teens build resilience: Letting them face challenges and problem-solve on their own, while ensuring their safety, can foster confidence.Recognising when professional help is needed: If anxiety disrupts daily life, it might be time to seek support from a mental health professional.Normalising therapy and self-care: Sharing your own experiences with therapy or coping strategies can help teens feel comfortable seeking help.Resources:Connected Teens Course: Learn how to strengthen your connection with your teen while respecting their individuality. Book Recommendation: Hold On to Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté – A helpful guide on supporting your teen's emotional development.Related Episode: Why Does My Teen Feel Overwhelmed and What Can I Do to Support Them– Discover how to identify and address overwhelm in teens.Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Ever wondered why your teen sometimes seems to be on an emotional rollercoaster? In this episode, I tackle a question that's close to home for many parents: Why does my teen seem so moody? Instead of brushing it off as "just a phase," I explore what's really going on for teens emotionally and mentally, from hormonal changes to the social pressures they face every day. If you've ever been met with a slammed door or an eye-roll, this episode will help you understand the bigger picture and respond in ways that support them.I share insights into brain development, social dynamics, and how to create a supportive environment at home. This is all about building connections and helping teens feel understood rather than dismissed.Key Takeaways:Understanding that teen moodiness isn't just “acting out”; it's a response to many factors, including brain development and social pressures.The impact of fluctuating hormones on emotions and behaviour, and how this is a natural part of growing up.Recognising signs of overwhelm in teens and the importance of timing and tone when discussing sensitive topics.Why criticism or constant reminders can feel like “nagging” to teens and might lead to defensiveness.Balancing giving teens independence while staying available for support and guidance.The importance of modelling emotional regulation as a parent, as teens learn by observing how we handle our emotions.Simple, actionable steps to connect with your teen without pushing them away, like avoiding overloading them with questions.Ways to validate your teen's feelings, even if you may not agree, and how to create a safe space for them to express themselves.Resources:Connected Teens™ Course – My on-demand course designed to help parents connect with their teens.Episode on “Why Won't My Teen Talk to Me After School?” – For more tips on how to handle after-school conversations.If you have a question you'd like me to answer in a future episode, reach out via the link in the show notes. I'd love to hear from you and explore the topics that matter most to you and your family.The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

Ever wondered why your teenager suddenly seems to prefer hanging out with friends over family dinners or weekend outings? In this episode, I'll be talking through some of the key reasons teens begin to pull away from family time, focusing on the natural shifts in social priorities and independence that come with adolescence. It's not about rejection, though it might feel that way; it's a complex stage of growing up where friendships often take centre stage. I'll explore why this happens and share some tips on how you can maintain a meaningful connection without pushing them away.So, if you're finding family time with your teen to be a bit of a tug-of-war, this episode is for you!Key TakeawaysTeens often prioritise friendships over family as they develop their own identities and social lives.FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) plays a big role, making them want to stay closely connected with their friends.The shift towards friendships is part of natural differentiation—teens exploring their sense of self outside of the family.Parents can feel rejected, but understanding this phase helps in responding supportively.Handling feelings of rejection with awareness can prevent tension and create a more positive environment for connection.Encouraging shorter, meaningful family interactions can help without making them feel forced.Finding a balance between family traditions and their developing independence allows teens space to grow while staying connected.Recognise and respect their need for autonomy; focus on quality time rather than quantity. Episodes to link to https://marievakakis.com.au/parents-feeling-rejected-by-their-teens/

Do you ever feel like you're navigating your work solo, without a support system? In this episode, I'm diving into the world of group supervision and why it's a game-changer for therapists and mental health professionals. I'll share my experiences with supervision, the lessons learned, and why group supervision has been one of the most powerful tools for professional growth and connection.Group supervision isn't just about case reviews; it's about building networks, gaining different perspectives, and developing as a therapist. If you're a mental health practitioner, this episode is for you. And if you're feeling isolated in your work or unsure about group supervision, let me reassure you that it can offer so much more than you might expect.Key Takeaways:The power of group supervision: It offers a chance to connect with peers and get multiple perspectives on cases.Normalising struggles: Hearing from other practitioners can remind you that you're not alone in your challenges.Peer feedback and skill-building: Group settings provide safe spaces to improve on areas like public speaking or case presentation.Social networking and referrals: It's not just about supervision—it's about building relationships with colleagues for long-term support.Hive mind approach: With multiple perspectives, you get more than one way of thinking about a case, which can spark new insights.Building empathy and self-compassion: Group supervision fosters an environment where you can be kinder to yourself, something we often forget to do.Practical skill development: It's a great space to practice presenting cases or fine-tuning therapeutic techniques in a supportive setting.Resources:For more information on group supervision, visit The Therapy HubOther episodes in this seriesListen here Spotify | itunes | website Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

Ever feel like your teen is constantly overwhelmed and stressed, but you're unsure how to help without making things worse? In this episode, I'm sharing practical ways you can support your teen when life feels like it's coming at them too fast. Whether it's school pressures, social media, or the daily juggle of activities, teens today face a lot. I'll help you understand why they might be feeling so overwhelmed and how you, as a parent, can be there for them in the best way possible.As a therapist and mental health educator, I've seen how parents can unintentionally add to the pressure. But it doesn't have to be this way! I'll explain why listening is often more powerful than offering solutions and share tips on connecting with your teen when they're struggling.Key Takeaways:Why teens feel overwhelmed: Reflect on the factors contributing to your teen's stress, from social pressures to academic expectations.The difference between stress and overwhelm: Understand how stress can motivate, but when it turns into overwhelm, it's like drinking from a fire hose.Stop fixing, start listening: Discover how to hold space for your teen and let them feel heard without jumping into problem-solving mode.Use emotion coaching to connect: Learn how to validate your teen's feelings and open up the conversation in a supportive way.Give them space to decompress: Understand why bombarding them with questions or advice right away isn't helpful.Collaborate on solutions when they're ready: Help your teen problem-solve once they feel seen and heard, not before.Resources:Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown: A fantastic resource on stress and overwhelm.Link to stress cycle video: Check out my video on how to manage the stress cycle.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bFGz9ObyW4 JOIN the Connected Teens Course https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

Have you ever wondered what supervision is all about and why it's so important for mental health professionals? In this episode, I share my thoughts on the power of supervision, and how it helps mental health practitioners grow, avoid burnout, and improve their skills. Whether you're in supervision now or looking to find the right supervisor, this episode is full of insights to get you thinking about how you can get the most out of the process.I've been reflecting on my own experiences as both a supervisee and a supervisor, and in this episode, I explore the value supervision can bring to social workers and mental health professionals. Supervision is not just about ticking boxes; it's about critical reflection, growth, and making sure we're giving the best possible care to our clients.If you're a mental health practitioner or professional, this episode is for you. Let's explore the essentials of supervision and what to look for when choosing the right supervisor for your professional growth.Key Takeaways:Supervision is essential for maintaining high-quality practice and reducing the risk of burnout.It's a space for reflection, learning, and understanding how we show up for our clients.Finding the right supervisor is crucial, and it can feel a lot like finding the right therapist.Supervision isn't just about management – it's about building your professional skills and supporting your wellbeing.It's important to choose a supervisor who aligns with your values, areas of interest, and approach to practice.Some practitioners may not advertise heavily, but that doesn't mean they're not great supervisors – asking the right questions can help you find a good fit.Supervision can be flexible – you can opt for individual or group sessions, or even a mix of both.Supervision is a lifelong process – there's always room to grow and learn.Supervision is a crucial part of any mental health professional's journey, offering the opportunity for ongoing learning, growth, and preventing burnout. In this episode, I dive into the importance of finding the right supervisor and the many ways supervision can support both your professional and personal development. Whether you're just starting out or have been practicing for years, supervision can help you provide better care for your clients and keep your own wellbeing in check.Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

Have you ever asked your teen a question, only to be met with silence or a shrug? It's frustrating, right? This is a common concern for parents. I hear this concern a lot. In this episode, I'm answering this common question I get from parents ‘'why won't my teen talk to me?” I've heard so many parents share that they feel disconnected or rejected when their child turns to friends instead of them for support or advice. But here's the thing, t's completely normal for teens to gravitate towards their peers, though that doesn't make it any less painful for parents.In this episode, I'll be covering the most common mistakes that cause communication breakdowns and offering strategies to help rebuild that connection. You don't have to feel stuck in a cycle of miscommunication. By making a few adjustments, it's possible to create a space where your teen feels safe and comfortable opening up again.Fixing problems isn't always the answer. Teens often just want to feel heard and understood.Too many solutions can overwhelm your teen and make them feel as if you don't trust them.Judging or criticising, even about their friends, can shut down communication.Let your teen make mistakes—this builds resilience and trust.The shift from being a “manager” to a “consultant” and offering guidance without controlling.Quotes:"People often don't want their problems fixed. They just want to be heard, empathised with, and validated.""Frequent judgment ruptures that connection. And remember, connection is one of the most important things for a relationship.""Resilience comes from actually falling down, dusting yourself off, and getting back up—both physically and metaphorically."Resources:Free eBook: My Teen Won't Talk to MeConnected Teens™ Parenting CourseIf you're struggling with teen communication, this episode offers practical advice to help you reconnect with your child, even when it feels like you're drifting apart.The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

Have you ever thought about sneaking a look at your teen's diary? It's something a lot of parents consider, especially when they're worried about their teen or feeling out of the loop. But is it the best move? In today's episode, I'm digging into whether reading your teen's private thoughts helps or harms your relationship, and how you can stay connected without crossing that line.This episode covers the common question: “Is it okay to read my teen's diary?” It's a question I hear from parents who are desperate to understand what's going on in their child's life. While the temptation is understandable, I explain why breaching that boundary can cause more harm than good and share strategies for maintaining trust and communication with your teen.Why It's an Important QuestionMany parents feel torn between wanting to respect their teen's privacy and needing to know what's happening in their life. This is an important question because it highlights the fine line between concern and control, and how actions like reading their diary can impact your relationship long term. From my work with teens and families, I've seen how breaking trust can lead to emotional distance, and it can be tough to rebuild.Here's what we cover in this episode:Why reading your teen's diary can damage the trust between youHow privacy violations affect their emotional development and future relationshipsPractical tips for keeping the connection strong without invading their personal spaceStrategies for managing your worries and having open, respectful conversations with your teenHow to model healthy boundaries and respect, setting the example for your teenMy Experience and How I Can HelpI know it's hard not to want to know everything about what's going on with your teen, especially when they're going through difficult times or pulling away from you. From working with many families, I've seen how important trust is in parent-teen relationships. Once that's broken, it can be hard to get back. Instead of reading their diary, I'm here to offer some practical ways to build trust and foster openness. Whether it's finding ways to stay connected through shared activities or starting conversations in a way that invites them to share, this episode is full of tips you can put into action straight away.Ready to learn more?If you're looking for more support on how to build a stronger relationship with your teen, be sure to check out my Connected Teens™ program. There's a live cohort starting soon, so don't miss out on a chance to dive deeper into these strategies! And don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with other parents who are navigating the tricky world of teen privacy and connection.The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

I share a powerful concept that can transform your relationships – bids for connection. These small moments when someone reaches out, whether it's your partner or your teen, can make all the difference in how we build trust and emotional intimacy. How we respond – whether we turn towards, turn away, or respond unkindly – shapes the quality of our relationships.I explore how noticing and responding positively to bids can strengthen your connection, whether you're in a romantic relationship or navigating the ups and downs of parenting teens. Drawing on both my own experience and the research of John and Julie Gottman, you'll learn how these interactions impact your mental health, emotional wellbeing, and the health of your relationships.Whether you've been feeling disconnected in your relationship or want to understand your child better, this episode offers practical tools to help you notice bids for connection and turn towards them with kindness.Key Takeaways:Bids for Connection: These are everyday actions or signals to establish connection. Learning to respond to them with care strengthens your bond.Turning Towards or Away: How you respond – with attention or indifference – plays a big role in maintaining emotional intimacy.For Couples: Positive responses to bids help you build trust and store up connection for harder times.For Parents: Teens' bids may seem subtle or negative, but recognising and responding to them is key to strengthening your relationship.Direct Quotes:"Bids for connection are one of the most powerful parts of a relationship. How we respond can make or break that connection.""We often get caught up in life, and miss those small moments where our loved ones are trying to reach out to us."Be sure to listen in for more on how to improve your relationships through bids for connection!Links:Join the Connected Teens Have questions or feedback? Send me an email, and I might cover it in a future episode!Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

Have you ever wondered when the right time is to start couples therapy? Maybe you're worried about what might come up, or whether it's only for when things get really bad. In this episode, I break down the common fears around couples therapy and share why it can be beneficial long before things reach a crisis point. Whether you're curious about how couples therapy works or how to talk to your partner about going, this episode is packed with helpful insights.I'll cover what to expect when you walk into a couples therapy session, why it's not just about airing your "dirty laundry," and how therapy can help you and your partner better understand each other, communicate more effectively, and feel more connected.Key Takeaways:Couples therapy isn't just for crises: It can be preventative and help you build a stronger relationship, even if things aren't "bad."What to expect in your first session: I explain how I use an in-depth four-session assessment process to understand both individuals and the relationship.Common reasons couples seek therapy: From communication issues to navigating parenthood, sex and intimacy, or recovering from an affair—there are many reasons to consider therapy.Misunderstandings around couples therapy: We address the fear that one partner will be blamed, and how a therapist's role is to facilitate understanding, not take sides.How to approach your partner about therapy: I share tips on how to start the conversation without making it feel like an attack or an ultimatum.Practical tools to improve communication: Learn how shifting from criticism to collaboration can change the dynamic of your relationship for the better.Working on your relationship solo: You can still go to therapy alone to work on yourself and your relationship if your partner isn't ready or willing to join.Resources:The Therapy HubGottman Institute - Resources on relationships and couples therapyEight Dates book by Drs. John and Julie Gottman: A great read for couples looking to strengthen their relationship.This episode is perfect for anyone who's ever thought about couples therapy but wasn't sure where to start or how to bring it up with their partner. By the end, you'll have a clearer idea of what couples therapy can offer and why it could be the best step forward for your relationship.The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

Ever feel like your desire doesn't match what you see in the movies, or that your sex life doesn't quite stack up to what others seem to be experiencing? In this episode, I explore the many myths surrounding women's sexual desire and why so much of what we believe is misleading. From the pressure to experience spontaneous desire to the myth of the perfect sexual encounter, I break down how these misconceptions can impact our relationships and our sense of self.Drawing on the work of experts like John and Julie Gottman, Esther Perel, and Emily Nagoski, I'll guide you through how emotional intimacy, open communication, and understanding different types of desire can help transform the way you think about sex and connection.Key Takeaways:Spontaneous desire isn't the only kind of desire – responsive desire is just as valid and common, especially for women.There's no such thing as a perfect sexual encounter – intimacy is often clumsy, messy, and filled with unexpected moments.Emotional intimacy and sexual satisfaction are deeply connected. A strong friendship and open communication outside the bedroom can lead to a more fulfilling sex life.Long-term relationships don't have to kill desire – creating space for novelty, autonomy, and mystery can reignite attraction.Women are not the gatekeepers of sexual health in a relationship – sexual responsibility and desire maintenance is a shared effort.Resources:Mating in Captivity by Esther PerelState of Affairs by Esther PerelCome As You Are by Emily NagoskiThe Gottman Institute's resources on emotional intimacy and connectionThe Love Deck App by John and Julie GottmanThe Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

We talk about fears and hesitation surrounding couples therapy. We discuss stigmas and misconceptions that prevent people from seeking the help they need to nurture and grow their relationships.In this episode Belinda and I discuss the value of couples therapy We talk about how to find the right therapist who can work with the specific challenges faced within your relationship.We discussed ways of navigating challenging conversations. We talk about the importance of being curious rather than critical during difficult discussions.The role of individual therapy and how it can complement couples therapy Couples therapy can be a transformative experience for relationships, providing tools and insights to improve communication, connection, and conflict resolution. By being curious and seeking the right therapist, individuals can foster a deeper understanding of their relationship dynamics. About Belinda GibsonBelinda is a registered Psychologist and Gestalt Psychotherapist, and is the founder and director of Footscray Counselling Centre, where she provides individual, couples and groups with relationally orientated psychotherapy supervision and therapy.Belinda also works as a consultant to various academic and medical organisations, facilitating reflective group practice, training workshops and supervision.https://footscraycounsellingcentre.com.au/Blog post mentionedhttps://thetherapyhub.com.au/is-it-too-late-for-couples-therapy-5-benefits-of-couples-therapy/Connect with Mariehttps://thetherapyhub.com.au/https://marievakakis.com.au/https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In today's episode, I chat with Avril Cook, a clinical psychologist with a wealth of experience in mental health, family dynamics, and working with teens. We dive into the often tricky subject of how to talk to young people about sex, consent, and body autonomy. I'm excited to have Avril on the show because of her practical approach to these conversations, which can be challenging for both parents and teens. I appreciate her perspective on how starting these discussions early and making them part of everyday life can help demystify and destigmatise these topics. This episode is packed with valuable insights for any parent or caregiver looking to create a safe space for open dialogue with their kids.Key Themes:Starting the Conversation Early: Avril emphasises the importance of introducing topics like body autonomy and consent early in a child's life to make these discussions more natural as they grow older.Building Trust Through Everyday Interactions: We discuss how parents can build a foundation of trust by being non-judgmental and open, encouraging their children to come to them with any issues, big or small.Navigating Awkward Conversations: Avril shares practical tips on how to handle the inevitable awkwardness when discussing sex and consent, including the value of engaging in these talks during shared activities rather than formal sit-downs.The Role of Gender in Conversations about Sex: We explore the different societal expectations placed on boys and girls regarding sexuality and how these can impact the way parents talk to their children.Repairing Communication Gaps: Avril offers advice on how parents can repair relationships with their teens if they feel they've mishandled previous conversations about sensitive topics.Avril Cook is a clinical psychologist with her own practice, Bodhi and Psychology. She specialises in family dynamics, working with teens and adults, and providing consultation to organisations on mental health and workplace wellness. Avril is passionate about helping parents navigate the complexities of raising children in today's world.Bodhi & Psychology Pty LtdClinical Psychology | Training | Supervision | Research | Consultation www.bodhiandpsychology.com.au @bodhiandpsychology Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

As a parent or guardian, talking to kids and teens about sex, consent, and relationships can feel overwhelming, especially if these topics were never discussed in your own upbringing. In this solo episode, I delve into the common questions I receive from parents about how to navigate these essential conversations.From the basics of when to start talking about sex to the importance of consent and respect, I share practical tips and insights to help you feel more confident and prepared. Whether you're raising little ones or navigating the teenage years, it's never too late to start these discussions and create a safe space for open communication.Key TakeawaysStart Early: Begin conversations about bodies, privacy, and consent from a young age, gradually building on these topics as your child grows.Be Honest and Age-Appropriate: Answer questions truthfully while keeping the information suitable for your child's developmental stage.Normalise the Conversation: Use everyday moments, like TV shows or real-life situations, to naturally introduce topics related to sex and relationships.Respect Boundaries: Teach your children about the importance of personal boundaries and consent, and model this behaviour in your daily interactions.Lead by Example: Show your kids what healthy communication and respect look like by practising these values yourself.Stay Calm and Open: Approach these conversations without judgement or criticism, and encourage your child to ask questions whenever they need to.Use Reputable Resources: Direct your children to trustworthy sources of information if they're hesitant to talk directly with you, and ensure they understand how to evaluate the reliability of what they find online.Other relevant episodes https://marievakakis.com.au/why-doesnt-my-teen-listen-to-me-anymore/ ResourcesRaising Children Network: Trusted advice on talking to kids about sex and relationships.Scarleteen: Inclusive and comprehensive resources for teens on sex, sexuality, and relationships.Feel free to reach out with your questions or share your thoughts with me about this episode—I'm here to help you navigate this important part of parenting!Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In today's episode, I chat with Dr. Sarah Ashton, a psychologist with over 15 years of experience and the founder of Sexual Health and Intimacy Psychological Services (SHIPS). I'm excited about this guest because of her unique approach to addressing sexual health through a psychological lens. I like her work because it doesn't shy away from the topics that often make us uncomfortable but are essential for our wellbeing. We dive into the common misconceptions about sex and relationships, and why it's so important to talk openly about these issues. Dr. Ashton shares insights into the "sexual scripts" we've all internalised, often without realising it, and how they shape our intimate lives.Episode Content:Sexual Scripts: We discuss how these learned patterns influence our expectations and behaviours in sexual relationships.Misconceptions About Sex: Dr. Ashton talks about the rigid beliefs around sex, such as the notion that it must end in orgasm, and how these ideas can lead to anxiety and dissatisfaction.The Role of Culture in Sexual Beliefs: An exploration of how cultural background impacts our views on sex and relationships.Mindfulness and Sensation in Sex: Practical tips on how to reconnect with your body and improve intimacy through mindfulness.The Challenge of Finding the Right Therapist: Guidance on how to navigate the search for a therapist who is a good fit for discussing sexual health.Guest Bio:Dr. Sarah Ashton is a psychologist and the founder of Sexual Health and Intimacy Psychological Services (SHIPS), the first practice in Australia focused on sexual health from a psychological perspective. With over 15 years of experience, Dr. Ashton has been instrumental in creating spaces for open discussions about sex and relationships, offering evidence-based therapies and training.Resources:Book: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski – A highly recommended read for understanding sexual function with easy-to-understand language and practical exercises.Website: https://www.shipspsychology.com.au/ – Visit for blogs, resources, and information on sexual health and intimacy.https://sexual-health-intimacy-psychological-training.teachable.com/p/sexual-health-and-intimacy-training-community. Instagram: – Follow for regular insights and information on sexual health topics.The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

Why Doesn't My Teen Listen to Me Anymore?Do you ever feel like your teen tunes you out the moment you start talking? Or maybe every conversation seems to end in a heated argument? It's frustrating, right? In this episode, I'm diving deep into the reasons why your teen might not be listening to you anymore and what you can do to change that. As a therapist and relationships educator, I've seen these patterns in so many families, and today, I'm sharing practical insights to help you reconnect with your teen.In this episode, we'll explore how the natural shift in your teen's need for independence can lead to communication breakdowns, and I'll offer some strategies to help you transition from being the “manager” of their life to a more supportive “consultant” role. Let's dig into how you can model the behaviours you want to see in your teen, focus on building trust, and ultimately, foster a stronger connection with them.Why Does My Child Seem to Ignore Me When I Ask Them to Do Something?As your child grows into their teenage years, their desire for independence increases. This can often result in them appearing to ignore you when you ask them to do something. It's not always about defiance—sometimes, they're asserting their growing autonomy.Why Do I Feel Like My Child Doesn't Listen to Me Anymore?If you feel like your child is no longer listening to you, it might be time to examine the way you're communicating. Are you still acting as a “manager” in their life, or have you shifted to a “consultant” role? Teens respond better when they feel respected and heard, rather than managed.Why Is Every Conversation with My Child Turning into a Battle?Constant correction and criticism can make your teen feel undervalued, leading to frequent arguments. Prioritising connection over correction can help reduce these conflicts and make conversations more constructive.Why Do I Feel Like I'm Losing My Connection with My Child?Losing connection with your teen can be distressing. Building trust through consistent, respectful, and empathetic communication is key to maintaining that important bond.ResourcesConnected Teens Program: A six-module, on-demand training for parents of teens designed to help you build stronger, more connected relationships with your children.Other Relevant Episodes and VideosIs Your Teen Changing Overnight? Here's What's HappeningMy teens aren't interested in me. What do I do?Watch on YouTubeFull notes and transcript can be found here.The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In today's episode, I chat with Amal, a dedicated counsellor and passionate advocate for young men's mental health. I'm excited by this guest because Amal has a unique perspective, transitioning from engineering to counselling, which gives him a fascinating approach to understanding and supporting young men's emotional lives. I admire his ability to explain complex mental health concepts in relatable ways, making it easier for parents and educators to support the young men in their lives.Episode ContentYoung Men's Emotional Expression: Amal highlights the misconception that young men are not in touch with their emotions, explaining how societal expectations often hinder their ability to express feelings.Role of Male Figures: We discuss the vital role of fathers and male role models in fostering emotional openness and how their involvement can positively impact young men.Challenges in Diverse Communities: Amal shares insights into the unique challenges faced by young men from migrant and refugee backgrounds, emphasising the importance of understanding cultural stigmas around mental health.Practical Advice for Parents: Amal provides actionable advice for parents on how to create an environment where young men feel comfortable discussing their emotions.Analogies and Personal Stories: Using powerful analogies and personal experiences, Amal illustrates the importance of community and vulnerability in supporting mental health.Guest BioAmal Saleh-Zada is a registered counsellor with over ten years of experience working with adolescents, young adults, and adults. He considers the role of a counsellor to be a privilege and believes that humour is his biggest strength in the counselling space.Amal is particularly interested in men's mental health and is dedicated to creating a safe space for open discussions about feelings, emotions, and the challenges that men face. He understands that the quality of the working relationship significantly impacts the counselling process. Amal works collaboratively with his clients to help increase their self-awareness and explore any obstacles preventing them from living their best lives. He aims to develop the necessary skills for his clients to achieve their goals.Amal works at a local highschool and at The Therpay Hub The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

Hey everyone, it's Marie Vakakis here, your host of This Complex Life. In today's episode, I'm flying solo to chat about a topic that's often a mystery to many – understanding the whirlwind of changes teens go through. If you've ever felt bewildered, stressed, or even a little left out by your teenager's sudden transformation, you're not alone. Today, we'll delve into what's happening for them and how we can better support them through these turbulent years.Being a parent of a teenager can feel like navigating uncharted waters. One day they're your sweet, cuddly child, and the next, they're cranky, secretive, and shutting you out. In this episode, I break down the various changes teens experience – from physical and hormonal shifts to the emotional rollercoaster they're on. We'll discuss how to handle these changes, maintain open communication, and support your teen while they discover who they are. It's all about patience, empathy, and understanding their world.Key Takeaways:Understanding Adolescent Development: Learn about the significant physical and emotional changes that occur during adolescence, akin to the rapid growth seen from birth to three years old.Communicating with Empathy: Discover the importance of listening without judgment and validating your teen's experiences to build a stronger connection.Negotiating Boundaries: Tips on setting boundaries through negotiation rather than dictation, helping teens feel included and respected.Allowing Safe Risk-Taking: The value of letting teens take risks in a safe environment to foster independence and problem-solving skills.Talking About Sex: Why it's crucial to have ongoing, open conversations about sex, consent, and safe relationships with your teen.Keeping Communication Open: Strategies for letting your teen know you're there for them without feeling suffocated or interrogated.Recognising When to Seek Help: Signs that indicate it might be time to seek professional support for your teen's mental health.Resources:Free eBook: Why Won't My Talk to Me? – Download my free eBook for more detailed insights and exercises to help you connect with your teen.https://marievakakis.com.au/my-teen-wont-talk-to-me/Connected Teens Program: Learn more about my program, which is designed to support families through the adolescent years.https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Join me in this episode as we navigate the complexities of teenage development together. Remember, you're not alone in this -Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

IntroductionIn today's episode, I chat with Michael, a family therapist and accredited mental health social worker, about the crucial topic of men's mental health. We delve into the often uncomfortable but essential discussion around shame and stigma, and how addressing these can lead to healing and stronger connections. I'm excited by this guest because Michael has a wealth of experience and insight into the unique challenges men face when seeking support. I particularly appreciate his perspective on emotional expression and the importance of sitting with our feelings.Episode ContentKey Takeaways:Men and Emotional Expression: Michael discusses how men often prefer solutions and the importance of encouraging them to sit with their emotions.Impact of Shame: We explore how shame influences men's mental health and their willingness to seek help.Overcoming Stigma: Michael shares strategies for addressing the stigma around men's mental health.Building Healthy Relationships: Practical tips on how men can build deeper and more meaningful connections.Finding the Right Therapist: Advice on what to look for in a therapist to ensure a good fit.Support Systems: The role of support systems in helping men manage their mental health.Personal Stories: Michael shares insightful stories from his professional experience that highlight the impact of addressing shame.Guest BioMichael is a family therapist and accredited mental health social worker with extensive experience in men's mental health. His work focuses on helping men navigate their emotions and overcome the stigma associated with seeking mental health support.Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In today's solo episode, I'm excited to share a powerful tool that can help transform your relationship in just one hour a week—the State of the Union meeting. Created by the renowned John and Julie Gottman, this technique is all about building stronger, more empathetic relationships.In this episode, I discuss how dedicating just one hour a week to a structured conversation with your partner can make a huge difference. I'll guide you through the steps of these meetings, from starting with appreciation to tackling issues constructively. This is one of my favourite techniques to teach couples, and I'm thrilled to share it with you.Key Takeaways:The importance of setting aside one hour a week for your relationship.How to start your State of the Union meeting with appreciation.Tips for discussing issues with a focus on personal feelings, not blame.Understanding and validating your partner's perspective.The ATTUNE acronym: Awareness, Tolerance, Turning Towards, Understanding, Non-defensive listening, Empathy.Making repair attempts and discussing missed or overlooked issues.How to end the meeting by asking what you can do to make your partner feel more loved next week.Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In today's episode, I chatted with a leading expert in positive psychology who has dedicated his life to promoting mental health and well-being. I'm excited by this guest because he not only shares valuable insights but also speaks openly about his own experiences with mental illness, aiming to destigmatise these important issues. I like his book because it provides practical strategies for building happiness and resilience, making these concepts accessible to everyone.Episode ContentDestigmatising Mental Illness: We discuss how sharing personal stories can help reduce the stigma around mental health issues.Practical Mental Health Strategies: Learn techniques for improving mental health, similar to building physical strength at the gym.Debunking Happiness Myths: We tackle common misconceptions about happiness, including the idea that it should come naturally or that we should be happy all the time.Positive Psychology: Explore how shifting from traditional clinical psychology to positive psychology can enhance well-being.Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: Understand the balance between accepting our emotions and committing to positive actions.Toxic Positivity: Discuss the dangers of unrealistic positivity and the importance of acknowledging all emotions.Men's Mental Health: Highlight the unique challenges men face regarding mental health, including how depression can present differently in men and women.Supportive Relationships: Tips on how to be there for someone struggling with mental health without trying to "fix" them.About Dr. Tim Sharp Chief Happiness Officer – The Happiness Institute An internationally renowned leader in the field of Positive Psychology Dr. Tim Sharp (aka Dr. Happy) is a sought after Speaker and Facilitator, Consultant and Coach, Writer and Podcaster, Spokesperson and Brand Ambassador.www.drhappy.com.auhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/drtimsharphttps://www.instagram.com/thehappinessinstitutehttps://twitter.com/drhappyhttps://www.facebook.com/TheHappinessInstitute@thehappinessinstutue IG and FB ResourcesR U OK? DayBeyond BlueBlack Dog InstituteFor the full transcript and show notes, please visit the website. Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In today's episode, I chat with Shannon Molloy, a journalist and author whose latest book, You Made Me This Way, delves into the impact of childhood trauma and the resilience needed to overcome it. I'm excited by this guest because Shannon's insights into trauma and resilience are both profound and relatable. I like his book because it provides a raw and courageous exploration of personal and societal issues, making this conversation both enlightening and inspiring. This episode covers a deeply moving topic that's often hidden behind closed doors and only shared with a therapist or a trusted loved one. By sharing Shannon's story, I'm hoping to destigmatise this often taboo and difficult subject.In this episode, we discussShannon explains how storytelling can humanise and address difficult topics. He believes that "when you put humanity back into a topic like child sexual abuse or mental health, you bring the community along with you, and that's when you can affect real change."Shannon shares his journey in confronting and writing about his trauma. He candidly discusses the challenges he faced and the realisation that he is not alone in his struggles. "The suppression of it, I mean, and then, you know, the more I spoke to him, the more I looked into the topic, the more I realised that I'm not unique."Shannon highlights the injustices faced by men who carry the burden of untold stories. "There's a real injustice in that, and I don't think it's an accident that, this is the way things are. It enraged me that there's a not insignificant number of men walking around with this enormous burden on their shoulders, and they, for so many reasons, feel like they can never tell anyone."Quotes- "You're not broken. You're not a deviant or in some way defective. This is a scientific reaction to the most unspeakable hurt inflicted on you as a child. This isn't your fault." - Shannon Molloy- "There's a real injustice in that, and I don't think it's an accident that that is the way things are. It enraged me that there's a not insignificant number of men walking around with this enormous burden on their shoulders, and they, for so many reasons, feel like they can never tell anyone." - Shannon MolloyAbout Shannon MolloyShannon Molloy is an award-winning journalist and author with more than fifteen years' experience working for major media outlets spanning print, digital and publishing. He began his career at Fairfax in Brisbane as an award-winning news reporter and has since covered property, business, entertainment and human interest. He spent seven years working for News Corp as an entertainment reporter and feature writer, then as News Editor of news.com.au. He is currently the News Editor at realestate.com.au.Shannon was the 2020 recipient of Journalist of the Year at the Mumbrella Publish Awards. His debut book, Fourteen, a memoir about growing up gay in regional Queensland, is a critically acclaimed bestseller that was turned into a sell-out hit stage production and is now being adapted for the screen.Shannon also contributes to various charity organisations and founded the annual Clare Atkinson Memorial Scholarship for journalism at The University of Queensland.Resources Mentioned

Navigating Conflict and Embracing VulnerabilityIn this special Mens Health Month episode, I'm joined by John Flanagan, an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker and certified Gottman therapist. Today, we're focusing on important aspects of men's mental health.We break down myths about men and emotional expression, explore the importance of creating supportive environments, and share practical advice on how to talk about feelings. We also explore how conflict can strengthen relationships and why validation is key to effective communication.Key PointsDebunking Myths about Men's EmotionsJohn challenges the idea that men struggle to talk about their feelings: "I think men are very capable of engaging in conversations about what's going on in their world and inside them. It's not about a genetic flaw; it's about creating environments that encourage such conversations."Creating Supportive EnvironmentsWe discuss how to foster spaces that encourage men to share their emotions and feel safe doing so.The Role of ValidationUnderstanding how to validate someone's feelings without agreeing with them: "You can validate and be connected or be right and be alone. Validation is about acknowledging the person's experience."Conflict as a ToolDiscover how conflict can help you understand your partner better and strengthen your relationship.Practical AdviceGet actionable tips on fostering better communication and emotional expression, including the use of open-ended questions and creating safe spaces for emotional conversations.Repairing RelationshipsLearn why making repairs after conflicts is crucial and how to do it effectively.Community SupportExplore ways to find support in your community, even outside of therapy.Featured Quotes"I think men are very capable of engaging in conversations about what's going on in their world and inside them. It's not about a genetic flaw; it's about creating environments that encourage such conversations."John Flanagan"You can validate and be connected or be right and be alone. Validation is about acknowledging the person's experience."About your guest John has an extensive history working with and supporting individuals and couples since completing his Bachelor of Social Work in 1988 and later a Masters in Gestalt Therapy and certification in Gottman Couples Therapy.John is one of the first two Certified Gottman Couple Therapists in Australia - and only two Australians to hold the title of Certified Gottman Couple Therapist, Advanced Clinical Trainer and Consultant. Not only does John provide the accredited training for all of the Gottman Levels in Australia, he also facilitates many other trainings to professionals, key note speaking to groups as well as being a co author of '365 Simple Ideas to Improve your Relationship'John regularly has clients seek his services from all around the world.ResourcesGottman card deck app - on smartphoneBooks 7 principles to make marriage work by John Gottman8 Dates bookJohn Gottman, PhD and Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD. Doug Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MDCome as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Emily NagoskiFight Right How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman and Dr. John Gottman...

In this episode of This Complex Life, I chat with Simon Rinne, a lived experience therapist who specialises in men's mental health. Simon shares his personal story with obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, anxiety, and burnout, offering a unique perspective on the challenges men face when dealing with mental health issues. Simon and I explore how depression differs between men and women, societal and cultural factors, and the importance of supportive environments.Key Topics Discussed:1. Simon's personal journey with mental health and his passion for helping others.2. Differences in how depression manifests in men and women.3. Societal and cultural influences on men's mental health.4. Common signs and symptoms of depression in men.5. Barriers men face in seeking help and how to encourage them to seek support.6. The impact of depression on daily life, relationships, and family dynamics.7. Practical strategies for couples to support each other through mental health challenges.1. Simon on societal expectations for men: - "Thinking back to those days, the keywords that come up for me, particularly for guys, is the suck it up, you know, culture in Australia."2. Simon on the role of anger in men's depression: - "Anger is the one that comes to mind and, you know, whether it's family, domestic violence, or it's just, they just feel angry with the world. Maybe they're having workplace issues or relationship issues and anger is, is, is the culturally accepted way that guys know how to deal with this stuff."3. Simon on the importance of finding the right therapist: - "Whenever I speak to someone, I say interview your therapist or do some research on your therapist before you go in there. Because if you go in there, oh, there's a psychologist, or they're a mental health social worker or counsellor, whoever, and they're not interested in male depression, why are you in there?"Follow Simon Rinne:- Website: https://mindful-men.com.au)- Mindful Men Podcast: Available on all major podcast platforms.Get the full show notes and transcript here Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

If you've ever wondered about the real reasons behind addiction or how to navigate social pressures around alcohol, this episode is for you. In this episode, I chat with Tara Herster, a psychologist specialising in addiction and substance use. Tara breaks down common myths about addiction and offers practical strategies for managing substance use, dealing with social pressures, and exploring sober dating. Her insights challenge the traditional views on addiction and provide a fresh perspective on coping mechanisms and building authentic connections without relying on substances.In This Episode, We Discuss:Understanding Addiction Beyond the MythsAddiction isn't about weakness or moral failure; it's often a coping mechanism.Tara's path from high school to addiction specialist.Addiction Isn't a DiseaseAddiction as a learned behaviour for dealing with stress.Tara's experiences in an inpatient psychiatric hospital.Practical Strategies for Managing Substance UseThe HALT method: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired (plus Hydrated and Health).“Anytime we are engaging in something that we don't necessarily want to do though we just find ourselves doing it in a mindless way it's because of HALT.”Navigating Social Pressures Around AlcoholStrategies for handling social pressures.“I appreciate, I'm just not drinking today,” or “I've got antibiotics.”Sober Dating: Building Authentic ConnectionsTips for dating without alcohol.The FRIES acronym: Freely Given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific.“You attract what you put out,” and “Building connections without substances can lead to more authentic relationships.”The Sober Curious MovementExploring life without alcohol.The trend among younger generations.Quotes from the Episode:Tara Herster:“Anytime we are engaging in something that we don't necessarily want to do though we just find ourselves doing it in a mindless way it's because of HALT.”“Addiction is not an illness. It's not a weakness. It's not a disease. It is something that people have learned how to most effectively and most efficiently solve the problem of their experience.”Resources Mentioned:Alcohol and Drug Information Service: 1800 250 015, ADIS WebsiteConnect with Tara Hurster:Website: Tara ClinicInstagram: @taraHursterIf you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and share it with your friends. Don't forget to subscribe for more insightful conversations on This Complex Life.Get the full transcript here Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In this episode, I address a heartfelt question from a listener, a 62-year-old father who feels disconnected from his teenage daughters. He is eager to understand their changing interests and how to maintain a meaningful relationship despite feeling sidelined. I provide insights into adolescent development, effective communication strategies without emotional pressure, and the importance of evolving from a managerial to a consultant role in parenting.Themes:Adolescent Development: Understanding the normal shifts in behaviour and interests as teenagers seek independence and form their own identities.Effective Communication: Strategies for engaging teenagers in a way that fosters connection rather than conflict, including the use of open-ended questions and avoiding criticism.Parental Role Adaptation: Transitioning from manager to consultantKey Takeaways:Understanding Adolescence: It's normal for teenagers to seek more peer interaction and explore personal interests as part of their development.Communication Techniques: Utilising less critical and more curious approaches can help maintain a connection with teenage children.Role Adjustment: Parents can adapt their roles and approaches as their children grow, moving towards a consultative role that respects the child's growing autonomy."As parents, your job shifts from being a manager to a consultant as your child grows." — Marie"Effective communication is about curiosity, not criticism." — MarieSIGN up for Connected Teenshttps://marievakakis.com.au/courses/connected-teens/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In this episode of "This Complex Life," I speak with Dr Lucy, We delve into the profound relationship between our mindset, eating habits, and overall well-being. Dr. Lucy, a dedicated medical practitioner and co-founder of Real Life Medicine, sheds light on the importance of understanding the psychology behind our eating patterns and moving beyond diet-centric approaches to foster a life filled with joy, energy, and health.Whether you're struggling with diet culture, seeking sustainable health solutions, or curious about the psychological aspects of eating, this conversation might be just what you needThemes:The Psychology of Eating: Exploring the impact of mindset on our eating habits and how societal pressures and diet culture contribute to our food choices.Beyond Dieting: A discussion on why focusing solely on weight loss is not the answer and how Real Life Medicine approaches health and well-being.Empowerment Through Knowledge: Understanding the role of processed foods, stress, and emotional well-being in our health journey.Key Takeaways:Mindset Matters: Our psychological state plays a significant role in our eating habits, influencing both our food choices and our relationship with food.The Fallacy of Diet Culture: Dr. Lucy highlights the limitations of dieting and the importance of focusing on overall health rather than just weight loss.Navigating Stress and Emotions: The conversation uncovers practical strategies for managing stress and emotional triggers that affect our eating patterns.Featured Quotes:"When you understand why you eat, that's the biggest piece of the puzzle." – Dr. Lucy"Processed food steals the joy of real food." – Dr. Lucy"Eating is not a team sport; it's an individual pursuit." – Dr. LucyAbout your guestDr Lucy is passionate about health. She helps women who have tried every diet under the sun optimise their health and achieve long lasting weight loss by improving metabolism and managing mindset so they can reduce the effects of chronic disease, have more energy and confidence and stop living life on the sidelines.She was an “expert dieter” and an “expert emotional eater”. She developed obesity, fatty liver and pre-diabetes. As a medical doctor, this was mortifying. She has completely abandoned traditional dieting and embraces a real food lifestyle.Dr Lucy is a medical doctor, a lifestyle medicine physician, and is trained in many facets of psychological medicine including hypnotherapy.She runs online holistic health and weight programs with her colleague Dr Mary Barson. They have now helped thousands of women reclaim their health. They are both very real and relatable and embody their company name - Real Life MedicineMentioned Links and Resources:Website https://www.rlmedicine.com/ The 12 week Mind Body Rebalancejoin the wait listhttps://www.rlmedicine.com/12WMBR Free Ebook Weight Loss is all about Hormoneshttps://www.rlmedicine.com/weightloss-ebookFacebook https://www.facebook.com/reallifemedicineInstagram https://www.instagram.com/real_life_medicine/@real_life_medicineThe Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here...