Podcasts about grieving brain

Healthy Widow, Healthy Woman Podcast "The Science Behind Your Grief to Growth Journey" with Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor, Neuroscientist, Author & Professor, Department of Psychology, Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab at the University of Arizona.  Our founder Modern Widows Club® Carolyn Moor sits down with renowned neuroscientist Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor, author of The Grieving Brain and The Grieving Body, for a groundbreaking conversation that will validate everything you've been experiencing.

Healthy Widow, Healthy Woman Podcast "The Science Behind Your Grief to Growth Journey" with Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor, Neuroscientist, Author & Professor, Department of Psychology, Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab at the University of Arizona.  Our founder Modern Widows Club® Carolyn Moor sits down with renowned neuroscientist Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor, author of The Grieving Brain and The Grieving Body, for a groundbreaking conversation that will validate everything you've been experiencing.

Jala is joined by Desirée to discuss the science behind grief: how it registers in our brains and bodies, its potential long-term effects and how we process it. They also discuss the books The Grieving Brain and The Grieving Body, both by Mary-Frances O'Connor. This episode is primarily a book report of: The Grieving Brain () and The Grieving Body () by Mary-Frances O'Connor Mentioned during the episode: * Death in the Afternoon (https://www.orderofthegooddeath.com/resources/podcasts/#death-in-the-afternoon) - The Order of the Good Death's podcast. One of the seasons discusses situations of complicated or prolonged grief, where disbelief belies all reality. These are some truly surreal stories. Related episodes: * Episode 27: Death Positivity (https://www.jalachan.place/27) - discussion of the death positive movement, The Order of the Good Death, and that one time Cameron faceplanted directly into the chest cavity of an embalmed corpse. * Episode 73: Trauma Response (https://www.jalachan.place/73) - discussion of types of trauma, methods of coping and more. Also discussion of the book The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. Support this show via Ko-fi! Just like Patreon, there are subscription tiers (with bonus content!) in addition to the ability to drop us a one-time donation. Every little bit helps us put out better quality content and keep the lights on, and gets a shout out in a future episode. Check out ko-fi.com/fireheartmedia (https://ko-fi.com/fireheartmedia) for the details! Don't forget to rate & review us on your podcasting platform of choice~ Jala Prendes Bluesky - @jalachan (https://bsky.app/profile/jalachan.bsky.social), Bluesky - @fireheartmedia (https://bsky.app/profile/fireheartmedia.bsky.social) The Level (https://thelevelpodcast.com/hosts/jala) Desirée Neyens Bluesky (https://bsky.app/profile/dneyens.bsky.social) Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/desiree.neyens) Special Guest: Desirée Neyens.

In this week's episode, I'm joined by Mary-Frances O'Connor, neuroscientist, psychologist, and author of The Grieving Brain and The Grieving Body. Mary-Frances has spent her career researching what happens to our minds and bodies when we lose someone we love. Her work helps us understand why grief feels the way it does, how our brains adapt, and why love and loss are so deeply intertwined. This conversation is full of insight, science, and compassion. We explore what happens in the brain during grief, why waves of grief come and go, and how we can continue our bond with those who have died. Mary-Frances also shares why resilience is the most common response to loss, and why grief is less about “moving on” and more about learning to live with love in a different way. In this episode we talk about: Why grieving is best understood as a form of learning How the brain and body adjust when someone we love dies The difference between grief (in the moment) and grieving (the ongoing process) Why the second year of grief can sometimes feel harder than the first The importance of internal bonds and how they continue after physical loss What research shows about resilience, prolonged grief, and healing How grief journeys differ with sudden loss compared to after long-term caregiving Practical ways we can support ourselves, and each other, through grief Explore Mary-Frances O'Connor's books: The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O'Connor | Waterstones The Grieving Body by Mary-Frances O'Connor | Waterstones I'd love you to join me for Awakening Hope — a free five-day experience. Find out more at: https://www.karensutton.co.uk/awakeninghope For Further Support: The Widows Membership: karensutton.co.uk/the-widow-membership Coaching and retreats: karensutton.co.uk Mary-Frances O'Connor – Photo credit: Eric Godoy

Grief & Milestones/Celebrations // How I Cope & What I've Learned   Grief can feel especially heavy during milestones and celebrations. Whether it's a birthday, wedding, anniversary, or holiday, these moments often highlight our loved one and our grief even more.   In this episode, I share my own experience of navigating grief during my daughter's first birthday and the insights I've found through The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O'Connor. Her research on how the brain processes grief helped me understand why milestones make grief feel so raw—and why it's normal for these moments to trigger waves of sadness.   We'll explore: Why milestones and celebrations intensify grief How the brain “maps” loved ones who are no longer here Why acceptance isn't the goal—integration is What I've learned about coping with grief during milestones Gentle practices that help me care for myself in these tender moments   If you've ever wondered how to deal with grief and loss of a loved one during big life events, this episode offers compassion, clarity, and gentle reminders that you're not alone. Join the email community // Get reflections, insights, and practical tools to support your personal development journey—delivered straight to your inbox.

This episode is a heartfelt invitation to realign your life from the inside out. Dr. Leelo Bush guides listeners through the spiritual and emotional practices needed to restore peace, purpose, and joy—without changing jobs, partners, or cities. Anchored in scripture, it's about renewing the mind and choosing to live with intentionality, presence, and spiritual clarity. This is healing work wrapped in biblical truth and self-coaching tools.    

In this week's episode, I'm joined by Phillipa and Hazel, the brilliant duo behind Music to Die For, a beautiful project exploring how music connects us to those we've lost. Phillipa lost her husband Rob suddenly four and a half years ago. What's fascinating is that music - which had been her whole life as a musician and teacher - completely disappeared after Rob died. But it came back in the most powerful ways. Hazel, a clinical psychologist with a deep love of music, met Phillipa at a grief and music think tank. Their instant connection sparked Music to Die For, where people share stories about pieces of music that connect them to someone they've lost. This is such a beautiful conversation about how music supports us through grief and helps us stay connected to our loved ones. In this episode we explore: Why music either becomes our greatest comfort or completely disappears after loss How grief is our brain learning to rewire without our person - and why it takes so much longer than society expects The beautiful reframe: "grief has taught me how to live" rather than learning to live with grief How Music to Die For creates a safe space for sharing stories and feeling less alone Their plans for retreats, walking weekends, and a book of 365 musical stories Why music helps us "time travel" to precious memories whilst building new ones Resources mentioned: Music to Die For: https://www.musictodiefor.co.uk/ (free to share your story) Widowed and Walking UK Facebook group "The Grieving Brain" by Mary Frances O'Connor For More Support: The Widows Membership: karensutton.co.uk/the-widow-membership Coaching and retreats: karensutton.co.uk

✨ Episode Summary In this deeply personal and Spirit-led episode, Dr. Leelo Bush shares how a quiet moment of surrender led to a global movement—and how the same can happen for you. If you've ever hesitated because you didn't feel “ready” to step into coaching, ministry, or healing work, this message will break chains. You'll be reminded that God doesn't need you to be perfect—He needs you to be willing. Through powerful scripture, bold truth, and a heartfelt challenge, you'll discover why your story, your scars, and your “yes” might be the answer to someone else's prayer.    

✨ Wanted! Coaching Heroes  In this moving and powerful episode, Dr. Leelo Bush reveals how grief coaching can be one of the most life-changing tools in a coach's toolbox. Grief is not just about loss through death—it can stem from divorce, job loss, infertility, or a painful diagnosis. Dr. Bush shares personal experiences, biblical truths, and neuroscience-backed strategies to equip coaches and counselors with real tools for healing. You'll learn why grief is not a niche but a universal human experience, and how the Christian coaching community is uniquely positioned to lead others from heartbreak to hope.     ✅ WHAT YOU'LL LEARN Why grief affects every client you'll ever coach—whether you realize it or not How to recognize grief, even when it's hidden beneath success or progress The false beliefs that keep clients trapped (e.g., “I'll never be okay again”) How to bring Scripture-rooted and neuroscience-backed tools to your coaching Why retelling the pain isn't required for healing—and what works instead How to become a certified grief coach through Dr. Bush's programs New resource: Healing the Grieving Brain and how to use it with clients    

07-15-2025 Nancy Poland Learn more about the interview and get additional links here: https://usadailytimes.com/2025/07/15/understanding-the-grieving-brain/ Subscribe to the best of our content here: https://priceofbusiness.substack.com/ Subscribe to our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCywgbHv7dpiBG2Qswr_ceEQ

Health & Wellness In Focus Episode #19 – Coping With Grief & Loss: “Light in Your Valley”
Host: Dr. Bryan Hudson | Guest: Dr. Stephen E. Gardner Program Summary Dr. Gardner’s links: LinkedIN, www.linkedin.com/in/stephen-e-gardner-edd-ma-ct-6823b4b Everyday Consulting, www.everydayconsulting.org Crown of Hope International. www.crownofhope.org In this insightful episode of Health & Wellness In Focus, Dr. Bryan Hudson interviews Dr. Stephen E. Gardner—a pastor, theologist, veteran advocate, transformational coach, and independent scholar—on the theme “Coping With Grief & Loss: Light in Your Valley.” Key Highlights: 1. The Multifaceted Nature of Dr. Gardner’s Work: Dr. Gardner views his roles beyond the pulpit, engaging with the community on issues like death, loss, and personal transformation. His work with veterans especially involves shifting from post-traumatic stress to post-traumatic growth. 2. Understanding Grief Beyond Death: Loss includes not only death but also life transitions like job loss, shifting beliefs, or health setbacks. Grief is both emotional and neurological—highlighted by Dr. Gardner’s recommended book The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O’Connor. 3. The Four Tasks of Mourning (based on Dr. William Worden): Accept the Reality of the Loss – Acknowledge what has happened, even if heart and mind aren’t in sync. Process the Pain of Grief – Embrace emotions like guilt and sadness without rushing to “move on.” Adjust to a World Without the Deceased – Including identity changes, especially for spouses or long-term caregivers. Find a Way to Maintain Connection While Moving Forward – Through legacy, memory, or service. 4. Harmful Coping Practices: Telling people to “snap out of it” is unhelpful and often stems from discomfort or fear. Over-spiritualizing grief or using shallow platitudes can invalidate real feelings. 5. Integrating Faith with Mental Health: Faith is essential but must be paired with informed mental health practices. Spiritual responses should not replace therapy or professional help. Ministry of presence—being there without words—is often more healing than scripture alone. 6. Cultural Competence in Counseling: One-size-fits-all approaches fail across cultural lines. Dr. Gardner advocates for respectful, “user-centered” care that adapts to clients’ cultural and spiritual contexts. Professionals should ask: “How can I help you in a way that respects your culture?” 7. Encouraging Mental Health Careers: There's a great need for more culturally competent professionals, particularly from underrepresented communities. Churches and pastors should present these fields as mission and kingdom work. 8. Breaking the Stigma Around Mental Health: Many avoid counseling due to fear of judgment or appearing “broken.” Seeking help should be normalized like seeing a doctor for a broken arm. 9. The Power of Meaning-Making: Healing accelerates when people can find purpose or meaning in their loss. Dr. Gardner shared his personal story of losing his mother at 18 and how he found strength through understanding her legacy and completing his life mission. Final Thoughts: Dr. Gardner stresses the importance of community, competent care, and courageous vulnerability when facing grief. Pastor Hudson reinforces that churches should be wellness hubs that connect people to the full range of care they need. Viewers and listeners are encouraged to share the episode to help others who may be experiencing grief or loss.

What does it really mean to grieve — and when does grief become a danger to your life? In this weighty episode, host Gabe Howard sits down with Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor, a leading expert in psychology whose work on grief and loss has touched millions. Dr. O'Connor shares groundbreaking insights on the subtle yet critical differences between the stereotypical grief process and prolonged grief, revealing why your heart can literally stop functioning due to loss. From staggering statistics showing a man's heart attack risk skyrockets on the day his spouse dies, to the intimate science of how our bonds regulate our well-being, this conversation is as thought-provoking as it is moving. Discover practical strategies to navigate those raw, overwhelming moments of loss, and learn how to build a personal toolkit for healing. Whether you're coping with grief yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode promises a deep, human exploration into turning heartbreak into hope. This episode has been sponsored by the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA). “It's not just that you're having grief, which is normal. It's that we're unable to find a way to adapt given that we have grief. So people with prolonged grief feel like life holds no meaning anymore, or they feel so angry and bitter about what's happened that they have trouble connecting with their living loved ones.” ~ Mary-Frances O'Connor, PhD Our guest, Mary-Frances O'Connor, PhD, is a professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab, investigating the effects of grief on the brain and the body. Her book “The Grieving Brain” was included on Oprah's list of Best Books to Comfort a Grieving Friend. O'Connor holds a PhD in clinical psychology from the University of Arizona and completed a postdoctoral fellowship in psychoneuroimmunology at the UCLA Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior. Having grown up in Montana, she now lives in Tucson, Arizona. Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. Gabe is also the host of the "Inside Bipolar" podcast with Dr. Nicole Washington. Gabe makes his home in the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio. He lives with his supportive wife, Kendall, and a Miniature Schnauzer dog that he never wanted, but now can't imagine life without. To book Gabe for your next event or learn more about him, please visit gabehoward.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mary Frances O'Connor, wrote a book called "The Grieving Brain" is now out with "The Grieving Body" - can you die of a broken heart? Absolutely. She appeared at the St. Louis County Library Clark Branch, and stopped by our studios for a chat beforehand.

LINKS & RESOURCES:  Learn more about Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor HERE  Get info about The Grieving Body HERE   Get info about The Grieving Brain HERE  Learn more about the Dougy Project (to help grieving children) HERE    In this episode of AGE BETTER, host Barbara Hannah Grufferman welcomes back Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor, neuroscientist, psychologist, and author of the best-selling book The Grieving Brain. This time, Dr. O'Connor joins the show to discuss her latest work, The Grieving Body: How the Stress of Loss Can Be an Opportunity for Healing. Together, they explore the profound connection between grief and physical health, offering listeners a deeper understanding of how loss impacts not just the mind but the entire body.    CHEAT SHEET:  Grief is more than an emotional experience—it's a whole-body stress response that affects systems like the heart, immune system, and even the gut microbiome. Dr. O'Connor shares fascinating insights from her research, including how grief can lead to conditions like broken heart syndrome, disrupt sleep patterns, and even influence long-term health through generational grief. She also provides practical strategies for managing grief's physical toll, from improving sleep quality to fostering community support and self-care routines.    This conversation is essential for anyone who has experienced loss or wants to better support loved ones who are grieving. By understanding the science behind grief's physical manifestations, listeners can take actionable steps toward healing and resilience.    WHY THIS EPISODE MATTERS TO YOU:  Grief is a universal experience, but its physical effects are often overlooked. This episode sheds light on how loss impacts our bodies and offers practical advice for managing these effects. Whether you're currently grieving or supporting someone who is, this conversation provides valuable tools for navigating one of life's most challenging experiences with compassion and care.    Connect with Barbara on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, or X!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Despite grief being one of the most universal of human experiences, there is still much that we do not know about it. Can we die of a broken heart? What happens in our bodies as we grieve; how do our coping behaviors affect our physical health, immunity, and even cognition? While we may be more familiar with psychological and emotional ramifications of loss and sorrow, we often overlook its impact on our physical bodies. In The Grieving Body: How the Stress of Loss Can Be an Opportunity for Healing, the follow-up to its successful predecessor The Grieving Brain (2022), grief expert, neuroscientist, and psychologist Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor focuses on how the painful ordeal of grief impacts the body. O'Connor shares scientific research, charts, and graphs coupled with personal stories, revealing new insights on grief's physiological impact and helping illuminate the toll that loss takes on our cardiovascular, endocrine, and immune systems and the larger implications for our long-term well-being. The Grieving Body is for anyone who has experienced loss and who may want to learn more about what they are going through and how to support them. Mary-Frances O'Connor, PhD, is a professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab, investigating the effects of grief on the brain and the body. Her book The Grieving Brain was included on Oprah's list of Best Books to Comfort a Grieving Friend. O'Connor holds a PhD in clinical psychology from the University of Arizona and completed a post-doctoral fellowship in psychoneuroimmunology at the UCLA Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior. Dr. Anthony Back, Professor of Medicine at the University of Washington, is a pioneer in patient-oncologist communication and co-founder of the nonprofit VitalTalk. Educated at Stanford and Harvard, with training at UW and Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center, his research spans physician-assisted dying, communication pedagogy, and psilocybin therapy for healthcare providers and patients with cancer-related anxiety. He is also an ordained Zen priest in Roshi Joan Halifax's lineage.   Buy the Book The Grieving Body: How the Stress of Loss Can Be an Opportunity for Healing Elliott Bay Book Company

In this episode of Grief Out Loud, we welcome back Carla Fernandez, co-founder of The Dinner Party, to talk about her new book, Renegade Grief, in which she explores the question: "Now what? What are we supposed to do after someone dies?" Carla reflects on the death of her father, the unconventional paths she's taken to process her grief, and how The Dinner Party came together from a desire to create non-traditional spaces for young adults navigating loss. In this conversation we delve into the dominant narratives around grief — and how the few that do exist may not fit for most of us. From potluck meals to altar building, Carla shares creative ways people can honor their grief and build community at the same time. We discuss: The inspiration behind Renegade Grief and why Carla wished this book existed when her dad died. How traditional grief support spaces often don't work for young adults. The origin story of The Dinner Party, and how one dinner with friends who “get it” can change everything. Why food, memory, and grief are so deeply intertwined. The myth that grief gets “easier after the first year” — and why year two can be even harder. Grief rituals and care practices for both early grief and the long haul. Creating identity-based grief spaces, like LGBTQ+ and BIPOC tables, and why specificity matters in grief support. Finding joy, creativity, and unexpected connection through grief (without forced positivity). Carla Fernandez is the co-founder of The Dinner Party, a community-driven organization that brings together grieving young adults for potluck dinners and meaningful conversations about life after loss. Her new book, Renegade Grief, is a practical and heartfelt guide to building personal rituals and support networks that meet you where you are — not where society says you should be. Resources Mentioned: Renegade Grief (out March 11, 2025) The Dinner Party - Peer grief support for 20 to 45 year-olds The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O'Connor The Smell of Rain on Dust by Martín Prechtel The Death of My Two Fathers - Documentary by Sol Guy Connect With Us: Dougy Center Website: dougy.org Email the Show: griefoutloud@dougy.org Listen to All Episodes: Grief Out Loud Podcast Follow us on Instagram and Facebook

Liz and Sarah talk to Hollywood veteran and career coach Laverne McKinnon about career transitions, career grief, and the tumult happening in Hollywood. Then, in The Craft (& Fain), they share a tip that will improve your writing — set a high bar. This week’s Hollywood Hack is a product Sarah has been using for over a decade: Dr. Bronner’s Organic Lip Balm. Finally, Liz recommends the limited series Apple Cider Vinegar on Netflix. Sign up for Liz & Sarah’s free weekly Substack newsletter at https://happierinhollywoodpod.substack.com. It will come right to your inbox! Get in touch on Instagram: @Sfain & @LizCraft Get in touch on Threads: @Sfain & @LizCraft Visit our website: https://happierinhollywood.com Join our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/HappierinHollywood/ Happier in Hollywood is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, andSide Hustle School . If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! Note: Go to the Happier In Hollywood Facebook Group for Liz and Sarah’s extensive Teens/Tweens Gift Guide. Thanks to listeners for such great ideas! Link below. https://www.facebook.com/groups/903150719832696/permalink/3081705578643855/ LINKS: Moonshot Mentor with Laverne McKinnon: https://substack.com/profile/129372378-laverne-mckinnon?utm_source=global-search The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O’Connor: https://amzn.to/43rOCnM Dr. Bronner’s Organic Lip Balm: https://amzn.to/4koxlSv Apple Cider Vinegar trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2Yj_rmCzhE Photo by AARN GIRI on UnsplashSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mary-Frances O'Connor conducts studies to better understand the grief process both psychologically and physiologically. She is a leader in the field of prolonged grief, a clinical condition in which people do not adjust to the acute feelings of grief and show increases in yearning, avoidance, and rumination. Her work primarily focuses on trying to tease out the mechanisms that cause this ongoing and severe reaction to loss. In particular, she is curious about the neurobiological, immune, and cardiovascular factors that vary between individual responses to grief.   Purchase her new book "The Grieving Body": https://maryfrancesoconnor.org/books/the-grieving-body   Join the ⁠DEAD Talk Patreon⁠ for only $5/mo to support our mission & and gain access to exclusive content and features.   "Dead Dad Club" & "Dead Mom Club" hats and shirts: ⁠Shop Here⁠   Purchase “Not Dead Yet” or DEAD Talk trucker hats here with free domestic shipping:

Visit our website BeautifulIllusions.org for a complete set of show notes and links to almost everything discussed in this episodeSelected References:13:07 - Read “Why I Hope to Die at 75” by Ezekiel J. Emmanuel (The Atlantic, 2014)15:21 - For more see “'Why I hope to die at 75,' revisited” (Advisory Board, 2019) and the “Dr. Emanuel discusses his personal perspective on aging” page of his personal website.17:34 - Read “The Emperor of Ice-Cream” by Wallace Stevens34:03 - Listen to the Brain Science Podcast Episode 194: "The Grieving Brain" with Mary-Frances O'Connor from March, 2022 (YouTube link)39:20 - The Lifetime Setback Game started at the Phish show on August 14th, 2009 at the Comcast Theatre in Hartford, CT when we Darron & Jeff were in their early 30's41:04 - Read “The Tail End” post from 2015 on the Wait But Why blog54:37 - Listen the Mindscape Episode 10: Megan Rosenbloom on the Death Positive Movement from August, 201857:50 - Darron is likely referring to this passage from Seneca: “It is likely that some troubles will befall us; but it is not a present fact. How often has the unexpected happened! How often has the expected never come to pass! And even though it is ordained to be, what does it avail to run out to meet your suffering? You will suffer soon enough, when it arrives; so look forward meanwhile to better things. What shall you gain by doing this? Time. There will be many happenings meanwhile which will serve to postpone, or end, or pass on to another person, the trials which are near or even in your very presence. A fire has opened the way to flight. Men have been let down softly by a catastrophe. Sometimes the sword has been checked even at the victim's throat. Men have survived their own executioners. Even bad fortune is fickle. Perhaps it will come, perhaps not; in the meantime it is not. So look forward to better things.”This episode was recorded remotely at the Hunting House in November 2024The “Beautiful Illusions Theme” was performed by Darron Vigliotti (guitar) and Joseph Vigliotti (drums), and was written and recorded by Darron Vigliotti 

Episode 102. In this episode, Kate sits down with Mary-Frances O'Connor to talk about her new book The Grieving Body (a follow up to the Grieving Brain). This is an episode for anyone to deepen their understanding and literacy of grief—grievers, grief supporters, caregivers. In the episode, they talk about attachment and what it is to form an “us” and the some of the science behind love and bonding before diving into the deep emotional and physiological impacts of grief and understanding and normalizing the grieving process. At the heart of the episode is a discussion about the role of community in grief and loneliness and how we might support those around us that are grieving. Find Mary-Frances: The Grieving Body: How the Stress of Loss Can Be an Opportunity for HealingThe Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn From Love and Loss Instagram: @doctormfoconnorWebsiteOther Episodes on Grief:Embracing the Darkness with Francis WellerBringing Death Home with Heidi Boucher Sponsored By:REDMOND REAL SALTMine to Table Salt from Utah, Redmond Real Salt is packed full of 60+ Trace Minerals and is a staple in my kitchen. Find their salt, Re-Lyte Hydration Powder, and so much more here. Use code MINDBODYSOIL_15 for 15% off!redmond.lifeFIELD COMPANY CAST IRONUSA made cast iron. Light, thin bottomed, and smooth - just like vintage cast iron. My go to for everything from small skillets to big dutch ovens. fieldcompany.com/kate_kavanaughBAHÉ FOOTWEARBarefoot, zero-drop, gorgeous running shoes, sandals, and hiking boots that are grounded. Meaning you can reap all the benefits of the electron flow from earth to your body while you're getting in your steps. Use the code ‘Kate10' for 10% off. Support the Podcast:SubstackLeave a one-time TipConnect with Kate:Instagram: @kate_kavanaugh

"Unlearning begins with removing the ‘good/bad' binary and moving toward a spectrum of wellness." Grief is often seen through the limited lens of good vs. bad, creating barriers to fully understanding and engaging with our emotions. But what if there was no "bad" way to grieve? What if we could reframe our approach to grief by unlearning these binaries and embracing a spectrum of experiences instead? In this episode, we'll explore how unlearning societal expectations of grief allows us to move toward healing that is both authentic and expansive, especially in a world that still stigmatizes loss. Links + Resources from this episode: The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O'Connor Become a Patron! Learn more about The Restorative Grief Project

Have you ever wondered why grief feels so isolating?Many people expect grief to follow a straight path, something to "move on" from after a set amount of time. The reality is far more complex. In this episode, I sit down with psychologist and grief researcher Liam Spicer to explore what grief is, the myths that surround it, and how we can better support ourselves and others through loss.Grief is a universal human experience, yet so many of us struggle to talk about it openly. In this conversation, Liam shares insights from his work and personal experiences, breaking down common misconceptions about grief and bereavement. We discuss how grief extends beyond the loss of a loved one, why there's no "right way" to grieve, and the role of connection in healing.Key TakeawaysGrief isn't something you "get over"—it changes shape, but it doesn't disappear.There's no single timeline or correct way to grieve. Everyone's experience is unique.Grief isn't just about death—it can be triggered by life changes, lost opportunities, or even a shift in identity.Societal expectations can make grief harder by pressuring people to “move on” too quickly.Supporting someone who is grieving doesn't mean having the perfect words—sometimes, just showing up is enough.Guilt about feeling happy again is common, but it doesn't mean you've forgotten your loved one.There are ways to maintain a connection with someone you've lost, which can help with healing.ResourcesAustralian Centre for Grief and Bereavement – Fact sheets, resources, and support for grief.The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O'Connor – A science-based look at how grief affects us.It's OK That You're Not OK by Megan Devine – A compassionate guide for navigating grief.Liam Spicer's Website- Find out more about Liam's work and research Liam's Instagram https://www.instagram.com/liamspicer_/ connect@liamspicer.com.au Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

August 05, 2024 Discussion on the book "The Grieving Brain" by Dr. Farid Holakouee

Mary-Frances O'Connor is a neuroscientist at the University of Arizona where she studies the impact of grief on the brain. Her work helps explain things like why we still expect our dead loved one to walk into the living room and why grief can feel so disorienting. As Mary-Frances explains, grief is a hormonal event, and understanding how it shows up in our brains can help us make sense of our own grief experience. In this episode, we cover how grief is really the brain learning to imagine a life with the absence of a loved one. Our brains know how to grieve. In fact, resilience is the most typical brain pattern of grieving.You can learn more about Mary-Frances' work and find her book, “The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss,” at https://maryfrancesoconnor.org/This podcast is produced by Larj Media.

Episode Description: In this episode of "What If? For Authors," Claire Taylor tackles the deeply emotional topic of grieving. Drawing from her experience as an Enneagram coach and her personal journey through grief, Claire explores how to manage an author career while dealing with significant loss. Whether you're in the midst of grief or supporting someone who is, this episode provides a compassionate and realistic approach to navigating these challenging times. Key Takeaways: Avoiding Unnecessary Suffering: Learn why it's essential to fully experience grief rather than avoiding or suppressing it. Importance of Support: Recognize the value of asking for help and surrounding yourself with supportive people during the grieving process. Transformation Through Grief: Understand that grief changes you and that your writing process and projects may need to adapt to your new self. Taking a Break: It's okay to pause your writing to focus on healing; your career can continue once you're ready. Complex Emotions: Embrace the wide range of emotions, including gratitude, that coexist with grief, and learn how to navigate them. Links mentioned: The Grieving Brain by Mary Frances O'Connor Why Listen? If you're an author dealing with grief or supporting someone who is, this episode offers a thoughtful and empathetic perspective on balancing an author career with the profound emotions of loss. This episode is a must-listen for any author seeking to understand and navigate grief while maintaining their creative path. Join the Conversation: Have a question or fear you'd like me to explore? Reach out to me at contact@ffs.media. Access the transcript for this episode here. Happy Writing!

Why do you grieve and how can you overcome the intense emotions grief can often produce?Grief is one of the most profound human experiences you'll go through. It's also inevitable. You can't escape grief, no matter how hard you try. That's what makes it so challenging. But you can learn how to cope with the natural ups and downs of the grieving process.Dr. Mary Frances O'Connor is here today to help us understand what's happening on a neurological level when you're grieving. Dr. O'Connor is an associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona and directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress Lab studying the effects of grief on the body and brain. She's also the author of the book, The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss.Grief is always tied to pain, but part of the emotional response is your brain activating different areas as it tries to process your loss. Whether you're experiencing profound grief yourself or know someone going through it, this episode will change how you think about love and loss while giving you tools to navigate this deeply emotional journey./ / / Are you ready to take the next step on your brain optimization journey? / / /Choose your own adventure. Below are the two best places to start:>>> Discover Your Unique KWIK BRAIN C.O.D.E To Activate Your Genius>>> Explore My Top Brain Health Supplements for Focus, Memory, and EnergyTake your first step by choosing one of the options above, and you will find everything you need to ignite your brilliant brain and unlock your exceptional life, allowing you to achieve and surpass all of your personal and professional goals.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When doing research for my last post about models of grief, it became clear that I needed to talk to an expert. Luckily, I knew just the one. In my first podcast episode, I talk with Dr. Saren Seeley about the neuroscience of grief. How does the brain adapt after loss? We discuss the “Gone but Everlasting” theory, how grieving is a learning process, and the surprisingly contentious climate around the study of grief. I so appreciate the humanity she brings to science and hope you'll enjoy her company too. The lightly edited transcript of our conversation is below.Chrissy Sandman (CS): Hello, Saren! Thank you for talking with me.Saren Seeley (SS): Of course, I'm so happy to do this.CS: Me too! I am so excited to talk with you. In particular, we have several interesting points of connection over the last nine or so years. So I'll go ahead and introduce you and then we can get into it.So, Dr. Saren Seeley is here with me today. She's a postdoctoral research fellow in the psychiatry department at Mount Sinai's Icahn School of Medicine. She completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at the University of Arizona under the mentorship of Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor, where she conducted research on neuroscience of grief and trained as a clinician. She completed her clinical internship at the Pittsburgh VA Medical Center (my hometown!). And before then, she did her undergraduate studies at CUNY Hunter College in New York, which is where we met when I took over her job as a research assistant in the Regulation of Emotion of Anxiety and Depression (READ) lab there. And since then, we have sort of stayed in touch over email, usually when I was bugging you about different fMRI scanning methods and analysis over the years, and you've always been so generous to reply with such helpful and detailed responses. And then more recently, with the grief that I've been going through, I just so happened to pick up the book that was written by your grad school advisor that you are mentioned in the acknowledgement section of and I imagine some of the work you were doing in grad school is woven throughout the book. So I just thought that you would be the perfect person to talk to as I am getting interested in how we understand grief. What are the models that are out there, both in terms of what's empirically supported, and what we know about how people adapt and change after a loss of a loved one, but also what people resonate with and what's useful for people who are going through it themselves, which might be in a clinical setting, or just how people make sense of their experience. And the other aspect of what I wanted to talk with you about today is just how I feel you weave yourself into the work. And in some of the popular science communications I've read of yours, I just really admire how you've brought your own lived experience and perspective into understanding how we are humans studying the things that we go through, which I think - there's been a shift - but in my experience, there's been a bit of a stigma or taboo about acknowledging that we as humans go through some of the things related to mental health, but we're also studying or are working with us as therapists.SS: Absolutely. And that's one of the things that's been so nice for me by reading your Substack is a seeing how these ideas resonate with, you know, people who are not people in this very specific niche area, people are just coming to these ideas in the midst of having their own experiences of loss and grief. And then also, you know, the way that you can your writing connects your understanding of the science with what you're going through at that moment. That's been really beautiful to read. So I'm glad you're sharing that with the world.CS: Thank you. Yeah, I think in particular, the the book I was referencing by Mary-Frances, as you call her, Dr. O'Connor is the the grieving brain which sort of came out right when I was going through it or, and so I think a lot of the concepts as I was reading the book about just the freshness of the loss, and I guess the befuddlement or like disbelief, or just like sort of confusion about you know that someone's no longer here and yet, there's some process that goes on that was like nothing I had experienced quite in that way before about the searching. And I just couldn't believe that that exact experience was being described in this book about how our brain continues to search for people that are no longer here. And exactly why that is based on different aspects of memory and learning, which I know is is a big part of your research right about about learning and grieving.SS: Yeah, Mary-Frances and I have been working on our "Gone but also Everlasting" theory. That's kind of been our focus. I get to still work with her. Even since I've graduated, we're very close collaborators, which has been wonderful. We're both focusing on a little bit different things, aspects of this model. But really thinking about: Why do we have these weird experiences? Why does it feel like when we lose someone, we're kind of straddling these two worlds, one in which they exist, and one in which they don't? And how does our brain makes sense of that? And, you know, thinking about what do we know about attachment and how our brain encodes those attachments with people who are important to us?   That's one of the questions you'd asked is like, what, what is useful about, you know, this lens of understanding grief through the lens of the brain, and I certainly don't think it's the old way or even the best way. But it happens to be the way that A) I'm interested in and B) I actually have skills to do something about. But I think one of the things that offers is that it can help people understand some of these very weird, disorienting, bewildering experiences that they have. And often feeling like, "Is this happening just to me, is this you know, is this normal? Why am I having this experience, even though the logical part of my brain knows different information?" And I think that can at least hopefully offer some way of, I don't know, having a little bit more of a roadmap and way to orient to the world while you're having this really this experience of upheaval, in so many different ways.CS: Yes. So I believe, like you mentioned, you and Dr. O'Connor put out this theory paper on grieving as a form of learning. So you just mentioned, there's a part of our brain that logically understands and then there's another part that maybe takes time to update. Could you tell us a little bit more about how grieving is learning?SS: Yeah, absolutely. So this theory is really trying to address the big questions like: Why does grieving take so long? Why is it so painful? Why do we continue to yearn for someone who has died even long after we know they're gone, and, you know, our brain may make predictions that they are still here that they're coming back.And, and one of the key aspects of this theory in particular is that adaptation requires a person to reconcile these two conflicting streams of information that I mentioned, like this really firmly entrenched understanding and belief about the person as being alive and existing even when they're not in our immediate presence. And so that means the best prediction about them is when they're not here is that they're just somewhere else. They're coming back, we can go out and find them. But we also have these episodic memories or specific knowledge of the fact of their deaths. So I'm really curious about how do we learn over time to wait, the predictions based on this new model, this new information that we have more heavily than those based on the first model, the old model, given that the left given that that old model has been so strongly reinforced for so long, and that the new information that we have is usually information that we don't want things to be this way. So it can be really hard. It can be a very painful thing to accept the fact that those changes have occurred.And so we're curious about what's happening in the brain when we successfully do manage to reconcile those two streams of information and, you know, integrate grief, which, ultimately allows us to create this meaningful life that honors our relationship with a person who died. But we're no longer stuck in that wanting something we can't have and then continually slamming up against the fact that they're not here. And so yeah, so this idea of greeting is a learning process is that we have to learn at multiple levels. And three of the ones that are important are that, you know, there's a lot of habit learning that has to be overcome. We have to develop the ability to predict the absence of the person who died as opposed to their presence, at least sort of in this physical plane.And also developing ways to get your attachment and social support needs met, particularly when the person who died played a significant role in your life was as someone close to you. And so my interests in the of past couple of years - because I get very focused on details of things - Is like, okay, we're talking about learning, but like, that's like attention. In cognitive neuroscience, there's a million different types of learning. It's not a very specific term. And so what gets in the way of that? And so one of the directions that we're taking this "Gone but also Everlasting" theory that we've been working on is trying to use computational psychiatry or mathematical modeling of brain and behavior to try to use established formal models of learning that we have from cognitive neuroscience that are very well developed, like reinforcement learning. And can we use those to test out some of these ideas about what's happening in grief?CS: Gone but everlasting.SS: Yeah, "Gone but also Everlasting" is the name that - actually Mary-Frances came up with that. All credit goes to her for that one. Yeah, but it speaks to those dual streams of like: they're not here anymore, but their memory lives on and their impact lives on.CS: Right.SS: And we think that happens in that it's not just sort of a metaphor. I mean, our brains are changed by every experience that we have, and loving someone being loved by someone is an experience that changes our brain. We can't really cut open human brains, but some of the prairie vole research shows that there are specific neurons that fire specifically when the vole is approaching their partner that they're pair bonded to. And so that bond is literally encoded in our brains, which in some ways, is kind of a nice way to think about it. That is still there.CS: And for anyone who hasn't taken Intro to Psychology classes, the way that a lot of the research on bonding and pair bonding and connection, is based on these cute prairie voles who have lifelong relationships with their partners.SS: They are absolutely adorable. But my prairie vole colleagues tell me they also bite a lot.CS: Yeah, but I mean, that's incredible, I think, that the physical matter changes as a result of the experience of being loved and loving. And when you were describing the grieving as a form of learning, I was just jotting down a couple of other things that stood out to me. You said, part of the the habit learning, I imagine would be.... just as you're going about your day, the ways that you might interact with someone who's gone. Those are automatic. And so when you think about, "This is the typical time on the weekend that I usually call my dad" or whatever that might be cued by things in your environment, such as, I don't know, Saturday morning coffee, or whatever the case is, and then that doesn't happen anymore. And so, just as you were saying, predicting absence. It's like, instead of predicting or expecting their presence, the thing to learn is their absence. Or expecting the absence. Is that one way of understanding it?SS: Yeah, definitely. And so in terms like putting that in neuroscience terms, we can use the idea of prediction errors and how those help us learn. So, you know, when we're making decisions about things, we get feedback about the outcome. So we chose to go on this route versus this other route. Is the outcome of our choice, is that better or worse than expected? And so negative prediction errors are when something that is worse than expected. So you know if we reach for the phone expecting to call our loved one who died and then have that moment of realization, "Oh, that door is shut. I can't do that anymore." That's a big negative prediction error. And potentially that can be when those waves of grief occur that you experience. You're really confronted with that reality. Interestingly enough, the salience - or the sort of the strength and emotional content of a prediction error -  can drive learning. So when something is really acute and obvious. That is a big signal to us that we need to change our predictions, because this one is no longer working. And so the interesting thing about grief is, you know, it doesn't just take one time to have that prediction error and wave of grief. It really is something that you participate in, over and over and over again. And it's not necessarily a perfectly linear trajectory of like, those waves getting less over time. Sometimes they can be more, sometimes they can be less. But overall, most people do kind of integrate that new knowledge of the loss.CS: Yeah, I think I'm almost imagining, like the process of learning over time, and then different knobs that might assist that learning that you can turn up or different knobs that you can turn down that might hinder the learning.SS: Oh, I love that!CS: And I think acceptance, like you mentioned, or in other words, allowing that emotional wave of grief to actually be felt and acknowledged and attended to. You're absorbing that learning. SS: Yeah, I love that idea of like knobs that turn up or down your, you know, things that facilitate or inhibit your learning. I think that's actually how I've really been coming to think about this. You know, I really try to... Grief is already so stigmatized, I really tried to be very careful in my language. Psychologists are sometimes bad about this. Like saying, like, "Oh, this person is failing to adapt." Like, that's, that's very...CS: Not very compassionate.SS: And yeah, I think that terminology of like… so if we assume that grieving is this process of learning that unfolds over time, there are things that can get in the way of that and there are things that can make that easier. So, yeah, I like that.CS: Maybe this is a good segue into kind of the climate around the study of grief. So as I was mentioning to Saren, why I originally wanted to speak with you is to kind of check the temperature about what's going on amongst researchers in terms of how we talk about models of grief. I originally was sitting down to write my next post about models of grief and was interested in the most famous one that persists today, which is the Five-Stage Model of grief, developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, who actually studied people who were about to die of terminal illness themselves and the stages that they went through. So these common stages, which I actually don't have memorized fully in order. So I think that's another interesting thing to note is just like: okay, people are familiar with that there are stages of grief - they probably involve anger, denial, bargaining, depression, acceptance. I think those are the ones, maybe in that order. I can fact check this later. But that idea to me never, just as a person, seemed all that controversial until I started really diving into the literature and how people have absolutely torn down this model in some pretty strongly worded academic papers by proponents of other models, which seem well- supported by science and have good stuff to offer too. But I just noticed, aside from the content of the actual models of grief, that there seems to be like a lot of contention or intensity around the debates about what models should we be using to understand grief. SS: We see that same level of contention and the debates that have been ongoing for years now about grief related disorders. And is there is there a place that we can say that this is a clinical disorder that's related to grief? Or is that medicalizing normal human experience? And I think a lot of these debates about prolonged grief disorder, about five stages, really taps into a the impact that grief has on us, and the fact that everybody probably has their own experience of grief that may be shaping how they're coming to this debate, either through themselves or someone that they're close to. And also that a lot of these debates come down to what is normal and human experience? And how do we define normal grief? And so a lot of the debates are coming out of saying, "This is helpful because it is a way that people can understand their experiences better or that we can support people better," versus, you know, saying, "No, that drawing this really clear boundary doesn't adequately capture the diversity and variability of grief experiences that people have and is too prescriptive."So that is one of the concerns with the Five-Stage Model is that it presents people with this idea that in order to properly grieve, they must go through these stages in order. And that I don't think is helpful. But what I do think is helpful, and one of the reasons that this model is so sticky. I've worked in hospitals, and this is very popular with social workers, it seems like because A) like that roadmap, I mentioned. During a really weird, disconcerting, disorienting experience, it says, "This is what you're going to experience, then you're going to experience this, then you're going to experience this." And so you know, like, Okay, I have to get through this stage, this stage and this stage, and then there will be an end to that, and I know what's going to happen. And it also, I think, really allows people to feel validated and and experiencing some emotions, like anger or relief, that are very stigmatized, and not seen as acceptable. So I think, you know, thinking about not just like, what is the content or scientific premise of these models, but like, what function are these models serving in the lives of people who are grieving and the people who are trying to help them? There's like multiple layers going on.CS: Yes! I remember, in grad school, one of our professors saying, "A model is only as good as it is useful." And that really stuck with me, because no theory or kind of abstraction is perfect is going to capture everyone's experience. It's just not. And I think that's what I was most interested in is like, what do people connect with? Like, why has this model hung around? And I enjoyed that part of The Grieving Brain book that kind of talks about one reason why this model has - why the Five-Stage Model is so popular - is because it gives people that roadmap. And also related to the heroic cycle, which I hadn't thought about that since middle school English class or whatever. Going through like a heroic Odyssey where you have, you know, trials and tribulations that you overcome, and then ultimately, succeed. And wouldn't that be nice if we could have something like that for grief? I think that is what people long for is a way to navigate it and come out victorious, almost. But it's perhaps not exactly like that. It's not something that can be finished.SS: Yeah, I think it can set up expectations for what grief is going to look like or what it's going to feel like that then when those expectations are not met, can make someone feel like "Oh, I'm not doing this right." For some reason, at least in US Western culture, there are a lot of myths and like about what it looks like to "do grief right." There's one paper that is a survey showing that people think that expressing positive emotion within, I think it's one or two months of the loss, is inappropriate. But then like when you get to six months, expressing negative emotions is inappropriate. So it's just like grieving people can't win.CS: Yeah.SS: But yeah, what you were saying about models and their utility. As we were meeting with this researcher who published this preprint recently, a computational neuroscientist, who is getting into the area of grief. And I was, you know, making a reference to that statement, “All models are wrong, but some are useful.” He was saying, "I really like to put a spin on that and say: ‘All models are right, but some are useless.'" So it's really the idea of our models are not going to perfectly capture, especially in experience like grief. I mean, humans, for one thing, we're not just like six foot prairie voles. We have all this other stuff happening. And particularly when it comes to computational psychiatry, and we're trying to distill these experiences down to mathematical models and equations, this is not going to... like we're never going to come up with an equation that captures all of the different parameters and influences on grief. But I think, scientifically, where having a really well specified model can come in is it allows us to falsify our ideas and make more specific predictions, see if those predictions hold, see if they don't hold. A lot of ideas or theories and in psychology, you know, it's a lot of like, sort of fuzzy verbal descriptions.And so in some ways, the work with the "Gone-But-Also-Everlasting" theory that I'm interested in is like: Okay, how do we make this really, like, testable? And so maybe we can that can help us distill down to like: Okay, this is the essential part of the model like, this other part of the model might be interesting or useful in some ways, but might not be essential to our understanding of some of the core processes that are going on. It's something I'm always thinking about when I'm doing this work is like, how is this going to be perceived by people who are going through grief or know, people are going through grief? And how could this be used or interpreted by, you know, people who are not necessarily in science or people who are in science?I mean, I hope what people get out of this focus on learning in the brain is that grieving is a learning process that requires time and experience and a lot of both of those things. And it's really hard. And we need to respect and honor the effort that that takes and the time that that takes, and be compassionate with ourselves and with other people. For that time and experience that's needed. And, you know, it's something that you have to... yeah, it's, it's just going to take time. And it can't necessarily be like a one and done thing. One of the things I hear from participants most commonly that's really painful for them is like, feeling like people in their lives have expected them to move on. And they don't feel like moving on...that that is a thing. Like, how could they move on from this important thing that's had such an impact on their lives, both through the relationship and also the event of the death?CS: Yeah, time and experience. And I think that if we're not interested in a one-size-fits-all prescriptive model of grief....It's complicated, right? Because we want to capture the varied human experience and it's not gonna look the same for everyone. But are there still commonalities and principles? And I think what you just said is it: We need experience and time. I've talked with family members about this, the sort of like "Everyone keeps telling me that there's no one way to grieve and it looks differently for everyone," which, at times, I've personally found both comforting, and a little bit frustrating, because it's sort of like, well, what am I supposed to do then? Or like, what does it look like? I think it's both. I think it's a dialectic of both, right? There probably are some commonalities, and it is gonna look different for everyone. And that is hard to hold both. SS: Yeah, I can see in some ways, I would feel like, you know, just being told, like, "Well go figure it out for yourself!"CS: Yeah. But I guess that brings me to the Dual Process Model. I think it's one that is an alternative to the Five-Stage Model that has been more recently supported by research and is consistent with this idea of needing learning. And I think learning is almost like synonymous in a way with experience, like getting experience. Living. Continuing to live your life and experience your life. And I think there is something in there too. I mean, maybe this is my bias in terms of like, my own personal and research interests in acceptance and mindfulness-based approaches and compassion-based approaches of sort of allowing emotion to unfold even if it's uncomfortable. There's something about that, that seems important. So a long winded way of saying, Could you explain the Dual Process Model for us?SS: Yeah! So there's a lot of different models that people have developed to try to understand and provide a framework for organizing grief and the experience of grief. There's also a Meaning-Making model by Robert Niemeyer, which has been pretty influential in some circles. But the Dual Process Model of coping with bereavement. This was developed by Margaret Stroebe and Hank Schut to describe how people come to terms with the death of a loved one. It really comes out of Cognitive Stress Theory. But it's also one of the first models to emphasize that healthy grief is variable across time. And also it needs to address these two different sources of stress, loss-oriented stressors and restoration-oriented stressors. So loss-oriented stressors, these are things that require a focus on the loss experience. So the process of thinking about and coming to terms with the reality of the loss, dealing with ruminations and intrusive thoughts, but also positive reminiscing and participating in personal or communal rituals to remain close to them. And like this idea that there are these stressors that you have to tackle that are related to loss, this comes from the idea of like this older idea of of grief work and tasks of grieving. The idea that somebody has to actively participate in confronting the reality that loss in order to adapt.CS: So being in it? "Grief work" meaning you "should" be really reflecting on the person and like feeling sad. SS: Exactly, yeah. So you know, having emotions from loss is healthy. You need to have those. There are different ways to have them, but they serve a purpose. Even the ones that are really painful and may feel, you know, pretty debilitating, especially early on. Another loss oriented stressor is you also need to take time off from grief. So, grief is not only really taxing on your emotions and your mental health, but also physically on your body. There's cardiovascular stress, inflammatory and immune changes that are related to acute loss. So, you know, needing some times of avoidance or denial of that loss to give yourself a little bit of a break. So you can come back to the work of grief later. So you have these loss oriented stressors on one hand, and then the other hand you have these restoration oriented stressors, which role are things related to the process of reorienting to changes in the world that have occurred secondary to the bereavement so for example, common one is like interpersonal conflict. So family arguments or disagreement over what to do with a loved one stuff specifically like a parent when they have died, or like how funeral or burial arrangements should be handled. So having to navigate that conflict, that's a restoration-oriented stressor. Also, practical matters, like if the loved one was some was the person who handled the finances, or they were a caregiver or somebody who are major emotional support. One of the stressors is that you have to figure out what to do with the fact that they're no longer fulfilling that role that might require you to take on new responsibilities, learn new skills, cultivate other relationships where you can get those needs for closeness or support met. And then another sort of task on the restoration-oriented side could be thinking about how the absence of that person has changed your identity and like what that means for you going forward.So I think one of the advantages of the Dual Process Model is that it captures stressors on both the looking back and looking forward side of things. And so key to the Dual Process Model is that both of these are important, and we need both in order to adjust to this world. So how do we attend to both? Well, the Dual Process Model says that we oscillate or move back and forth flexibly between these two. Sometimes we are crying, thinking about the loss and how much we miss the person. Sometimes we are, you know, figuring out like, "Okay, what do I do with all of these financial documents?" or "I used to be a daughter, like, who am I now that I no longer have a parent?" So this moving back and forth, this experience over time is what facilitates integrated grief or the ability to hold that both the past and the present. And things that might inhibit learning is getting really stuck on one of those sides or the other. And I can explain a little bit about that, but so I'm not monologuing, I'd love to hear your reflections.CS: There's so much there. I think for me it's helpful to imagine the visual that goes along with this, which is a box on the left hand side, which is related to the loss-oriented, which my shorthand for understanding this is looking back for the past. And then on the right hand side, a box for restoration-oriented. Or kind of like, "What now, what next?" -  forward oriented. And then in between those two boxes, there's a bunch of jagged lines back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And the oscillation between those two states is really central to the model, it seems. And it's so hard. So if anything, I think it's a little confusing, you know, it's a little less clear cut than like, oh, the five stages because it is messy in reality.SS: Right! What is the timescale of the oscillations? How fast are you supposed to like, go back and forth? How much time do you spend in one versus the other? Do you have to have that, like an even 50/50 split?  This is a beautiful model, but like, what does this actually look like for someone to try to apply it to their life? I think having your reflections that is is really interesting hearing what that's like.CS: I think one beautiful thing about it is the idea that we don't have to be really immersing ourselves or don't need to be or you know, the "shoulds" come in about how you should be grieving. You don't need to lock yourself away and like really force yourself to sit in this pool of grief all the time. That actually it is healthy and adaptive to give yourself a break. That's okay, too. And it's such a fine line, I think in all of psychology and in my own life and in clinical work with clients. It's just a fine line between avoidance that is pretty inflexible and can cause problems, so like totally avoiding any reminders of the loved one and like not talking about them or mentioning their name at family gatherings. You know, it can look like that a little bit. That might not be the type of avoidance you want to be engaging in. But on the other hand, that it is okay to dip your toe into it, and then allow yourself to like, watch a silly movie or like, do something new just randomly. You know, start a new tradition is okay. It doesn't have to always be what you did. But I think the balancing act of that...it is hard to imagine, in a way, it's like, it's very tricky, because you have to be present and constantly like sort of monitoring like, what is working and what is not working?SS: Yeah, and I think what you're attending to at any given moment is also heavily influenced, like how adaptive that is, is heavily influenced by how attuned to your current context is it. So avoidance may be particularly helpful, like you might have times at work where you really need to shut it off and just not think about that so you can get other things that are important to you done. Another issue that the Stroebe and Schut address in some of their later publications on the Dual Process Model, that I think is useful when we're thinking about how do we apply this to actual humans, is this concept of overload. So these loss and restoration-oriented stressors are not the only stressors that we have going on in our life. And often, bereavement-related stressors can happen on top of a bunch of other unrelated life stressors. This could be like additional losses, it could be major life changes, a job that's already stressful, a move that had been planned. And any other kind of contexts that is putting stress in your life. There's at least one review paper that found that financial stress is actually a predictor of having a harder time adapting to a loss and potentially developing a grief related disorder. And so they make the good point that oscillation is not necessarily going to help with overload. And so when you are feeling overloaded, you have more of these stressors than you can handle. Those probably need a different approach.CS: Right. In a way, it's a luxury to be able to let yourself fall apart in the more loss-oriented kind of way.CS: A I think context is another major, major, major thing that probably influences so much very variability in terms of how grieving looks in the context of the death. I think that was something that I was thinking about when learning about the trajectories research. So to my understanding, this is a lot of the work that comes from George Bonanno's lab at Columbia, who really examined a lot of the work about how resilient people are on the whole after really terrible things happen. Whether it is a loss of a loved one, or I think a lot of the research that perhaps you know and are involved with since you're in New York, has come from what happened after 911 and how people responded to that event, for example. So if you could maybe fill us in a little bit more on that world of research: the trajectories. What does it mean to have a trajectory of grief or recovery?SS: What does grief or trauma, post-traumatic responses, what do those look like over time? And there have been a number of studies in you know, in grief, in different disorders. George Bananno's work was really influential in that his work was one of the first to really emphasize that....Okay, in psychology, we focus a lot on what's going wrong. So a lot of our focus has been on, "Oh, look at all of the terrible things that can happen to someone after they experience trauma," but not taking into account that actually the modal response to really devastating events is that people are okay, over time. And even in that short term, not everybody develops PTSD. Most people go on to, you know, they still experience grief, but it's not debilitating in their lives and they're still able to do things that they want and need to. I think that is where we get some of that perspective about like, "Okay, this is this learning and healing." This is a natural process that happens for most people. But there are places where it can get stuck, or there are things that can happen on top of it that inhibit it.And so in grief research, one of the first, I believe to look at trajectories... It's very helpful in this work to have a group of people who've all been through the same event at the same time. So the Coconut Grove Fire was a fire at a nightclub in the early 1900s. And the researcher followed people who were in this or experienced the death of a loved one from it over time. And this was one of the first papers to show that people have very different, like, if you were to sort of draw out how they're doing over time, those lines look very different. Some look flat, some go down, and then go back up, and some go down and stay down. I think a lot of the trajectories research tends to find like three groups. My brain likes to call them mild, medium, and spicy. I think I got that from researcher. But essentially, that there's one group that does not have a severe psychological impact of whatever that event was. So they do okay in the short term and they continue doing okay in the long term. There's a group that's initially severely affected, but they do sort of rebound over time, they return to their normal baseline functioning. And there is a group that experiences a really hard time in the short term. And they continue to experience a really hard time.One of the more recent papers looking at prolonged grief symptoms, after loss, looked up to over two years. And they found in that group of people whose functioning goes down and stays down, there's a subgroup of those who do slowly, very slowly get better. Like at 12 months, you can't see a difference, but at 27 months, you can. You get two classes of people. And so that [study] came out a few years ago, and that sort of made people think about: Okay, so if we're saying that you can diagnose grief-related disorder, which we're currently calling prolonged grief, I have thoughts on that. It's another topic. You know, maybe we need to ask is 12 months and appropriate timeframe? Do we need to look a little further out? So yeah, I think just you know, this trajectories work helps us understand the real variability that we see in individual responses after loss. And that sometimes that has to do with what you're seeing in the short term. But also sometimes that what you're seeing in the short term doesn't predict how someone's going to do in the long term.CS: Yeah, and I think one study on trajectories was in the Lives of Older Couples dataset. So looking at mainly old white people in I think the Midwest.SS: The majority of our populations in grief studies, very sadly.CS: Yes...after the loss of a spouse. I found it very surprising that in addition to the three trajectories that you described, there was also a group in that particular study, where one spouse after the other one died, got better! They had been depressed, and then they were no depressed. And I think in that particular study, I was shocked at the percentages, it was like 10% of people. So you know, it's a particular sample that doesn't generalize to everyone. But I just found that to be really surprising. And I think I find the trajectories research on the whole very surprising because it's the vast majority of people, about I think over 60% in that particular study, who fit the more resilient trajectory where over time, they they didn't have long term, debilitating, I think depressive symptoms was the main way they measured that in that particular study. But I couldn't I kind of couldn't believe that.SS: Yeah, I think that, you know, that goes back to context. Like I can imagine, you know, I don't recall or know exactly why people were doing better but you can certainly imagine If somebody's in a really bad relationship, or if somebody has a lot of really heavy duty caregiving responsibilities, that is severely impacting their mental health, then things could get better after that loss. Yeah, I think it's good to examine some of the assumptions we have about what we expect people to look like and how we expect them to react after loss.CS: Yeah, so I think the heartening takeaway is that like, most people are adaptable and can change. And even for those, like you mentioned that maybe two years, it took two years like that's, you know, time and experience that they needed to then recover and adapt. And I think so much of it is cultural, too, because it reminds me, you know, I think just the messaging, we get around it is a whole other voice in the room. And we don't, typically in America, at least have traditions where you wear all black for a year, or have you know, that designated timeframe or space to do it. So then all those other questions creep in about, like, how should this be affecting me? And how for how long?SS: And you had asked about clinical work in grief. And, you know, one of the things thinking about is, is some of that one question I get sometimes is, does everybody need therapy after grief? It might seem like that would be a good thing. This is a distressing experience, maybe you need professional help. But we actually find that what's really critical is social support. Some people might need to get through that through therapy. Like you mentioned, being able to validate people in experiences that are very normal, but can be not talked about or stigmatized, that they're experiencing or emotions that might seem unacceptable. For a lot of people, they might get that social support through existing relationships that they have.But grief also changes our social network, the social environment we're in. So I had a research participant once who told me that like one of the really painful things for her about losing her husband was, she had this group of friends that used to like they were all couples, they would all go out on like this double or triple date, like once a week, and once her husband died, they stopped inviting her. And she was saying, like, "I think they're doing it because they think it would be too hard for me to sit there with other couples," or, you know, "It might be painful to talk about, but I actually really miss that. I would love to be there. I would love to, you know, be around other people who knew my husband and be able to talk about him and remember him." And it's unfortunate that there is so much discomfort about grief, both wanting to just and potentially wanting to distance yourself from someone who's going through something so hard, or, you know, in this in this case, like maybe thinking about the fact that their own husbands might die in the case of these couples and not wanting to think about that. But but also not knowing what to say or feeling like, I don't want to bring it up, because I don't want to make it worse. You're not going to remind the person that their loved one has died, they are probably very aware of that. It's not like they just forget, if you don't talk about it. I forget where I was going with that. Yeah, so the idea that, you know, the event of bereavement can ironically distance us from some of our social supports at the time that we need it most.And that can be where therapy can be helpful. Either strategizing, like how do I talk to people in my life and let them know what how to support me better, or getting support if you don't have support from other contexts or, you know, learning to deal with thoughts that might get in the way of that experience. Like, a common thought is like, "If I allow myself to feel happy if I allow myself to stop grieving, it means I'm being disrespectful or disloyal, or somehow trivializing my relationship with that person. Like, if they really mattered to me, wouldn't I be upset all the time?" So, using CBT techniques can sort of challenge some of the thoughts, or how do you accept really difficult emotions without avoiding them and continue to do do things that are important to you? CS: Yeah. That's really interesting there about this idea of like an attachment to like, being actively grieving - not that grieving stops - but this idea of being in distress of mourning, and that that maintains your relationship to the person or loyalty to them. That is something I've also encountered clinically. And it's interesting. I think a lot of people's actually helpful response from friends and family is like, “Oh, well, that person that you lost would want you to be happy and would want you to move on.” And I actually think that's meaningful. It's like, okay, your joy that you're still living out can be a dedication to the person you lost. And I think that's a part of the restoration-oriented end of things that I wanted to come back to about identity, and how figuring out who you are now in the absence of this other person is a process of, of creating again, or making meaning out of it. One thing that I have personally found helpful for that is sort of thinking about, like, you know, over the holidays and noticing the absence of my dad, who is a very fun loving, like, gregarious person, like, he would be the person like, you know, you walk in the door, and he asks, If you want, like some champagne, or you know, is very welcoming, and that way. And over Christmas, all of us were kind of like, obviously, down in the dumps, it was pretty fresh. But just noticing there wasn't someone to like usher along the events of the evening, as much. It wasn't like, okay, let's have like, drinks now. And like, cheers. And like, then we'll like have dinner like it like the just the transitions of the evening, I noticed were a little bit absent. And I was like, "I can do this!" I can be the person to like, not exactly fill his shoes, but like to step up in this moment and try to embody that quality of like, "Let's toast to being together and like everything we've been through" or you know, just like trying take on those qualities that I miss about him, myself. SS: That's such a lovely way to really bring the things that you learned from him in your relationship from him into the present and into your current relationships.CS: Yeah, it's a work in progress, for sure. But I think that idea that like, joy or positive emotions... giving yourself permission to continue on with that is part of the grieving process too.SS: Reminiscing is really important. Being able to share remembrances and revisit those times, not in the hopes that if we spend enough time there that somehow we will get into that counterfactual reality where the death didn't happen. But really saying this happened, this matters. I'm going to spend time thinking about and enjoying that this happened.CS: Totally. I mean, there's been so many things that like... one thing that I do appreciate when I've been with my family since my dad died is that there have been times when someone but usually my sister or me or my mom would have said like, "Dad would have loved this thing." And like, of course, that put paints like a really bittersweet tone to it, but it's sort of just like, oh, that's what things feel like now. And like, I would rather feel all of it rather than like not doing anything that reminds me of him anymore. These are the examples that are coming to mind as I think about like what this oscillation means or like, I don't know think feel different, for sure. It's more mixed emotions a lot of the time.SS: Yeah, it's that that flipside, like pain is the other side of love. You can't really have one without having the other.CS: Well, this has been a lot of food for thought. Maybe I'll kind of move us into final thoughts. So I suppose, are there any other aspects of these models that you would want people to carry with them? Aside from what we've talked about - or even from what we've talked about - what are the takeaways? SS: I think one of the takeaways for me is just thinking about how learning happens. We don't unlearn things. Actually, Mary-Frances and I talk a lot about your your grad mentor's Inhibitory Learning [theory]. Like, you don't you don't unlearn things, but new learning has to happen on top of it. So I think that's, that's one important piece for me. And that really challenges the idea that in order to be healthy after loss or healthy adaptation means that you're detaching or that you're moving on.Somehow, I think other aspects of models that I appreciate are, I think a lot of them converge on the idea that you don't have to lose your relationship or give up your relationship with that person. But the relationship has to change in a way that allows it to accommodate what is currently happening. And when that model cannot change, that's where we see problems. But you don't have to throw out your relationship with that person. You just need to... It needs to be a little bit different than it has been before.CS: Yeah, so I'm just letting that sink in. That's a really nice connection to my own research in grad school. And I just think that's worth repeating: we don't unlearn things. We have to learn new things if we want to change. And so some some of that idea comes from my graduate mentor, Michelle Craske, who's done a lot of work on how do we overcome fears and anxiety disorders in particular. And how she has adapted exposure therapy to be consistent with the ways that we know that our brains learn best. And specifically that if we're not erasing our old fears, we actually can't get rid of them, we just have to learn enough new experiences to soak that in so that we can continue to move forward. Which I think is really interesting and I think has made me think of like other metaphors that are similar to this, that I've just, like, popped up through my mind about like, just in my own experience of when I've been feeling the worst, and like thinking about, like plants that I've forgotten to water, and how like, yeah, there will be like, you know, a part of the plant that then like looks a little scraggly for a time, but then you can water it again, and the new part on top will continue to grow. So it doesn't get rid of the part that has been through that really hard experience. But you have to kind of build on top of that or keep going. That was just one image that came to mind. I was also thinking of like, I don't know, just going to nature for other ideas like lizards who can regrow their tails. How does that work? Does it does the tail grow back in the same exact way? No! It probably will be a little smaller and like there's going to be evidence of what has happened to it still. But does that new new tail help it balance or do whatever tails do? Sure. So you can't erase what's happened, but you have to figure out how to continue. The new learning that has to occur.SS: Absolutely. What is it been like for you reading all of these sort of like scientific potentially sort of dispassionate and debates about something that you are personally going through. Like at that moment? That might be a hard question.CS: Well, I think it intersects with how I cope with things. Going an intellectual route is natural for me. And it's easier in some ways to be in that headspace. I think I have an insatiable curiosity for things. So I think a big part of me was like, this is interesting. And that made me want to read more about it. And I would say I didn't necessarily feel invalidated reading about all these different models. Moreso I was just sort of like, "Whoa, like, I'm stepping into a whole swirling, intense realm." And I think then at that point, I was, I was kind of like, okay, like, I want to take a step back now, because this is getting in the weeds of what I ultimately don't love about academia is like getting too carried away with like, what's "right" and kind of losing sight of like, what matters, at times. But like, I think it's, I'm most interested in marrying the two: What can we learn and study? And then what can we kind of take away that like, actually has heart to it? So that was my experience reading through the literature on this.  And I appreciated how you mentioned earlier, and so does Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor, that neuroscience is one lens through which you can understand grief. It's certainly an interesting one. Like, that's kind of how I also got into [research]. Originally, I did more like fMRI research and have gone on to other ways of looking at psychology, but I just find it interesting. But it's certainly not the only or not the best way. It's one lens.So I think it's so important to just be like, humble. I like have a really strong value of humility that I think I've developed - and I didn't always - but through the study of such heavy topics, I guess I would say that really like impact people's lives. It's like I think that's so important.SS: Yeah, I really feel that especially coming to grief research as.... I have lived experiences of a whole lot of other things. Grief is like the one thing that significant loss is not something I actually have personal lived experience of contrary to like, a million other things I could be studying right now. So it's been really interesting to me to try to keep that humility in mind. I get a lot out of, you know, what do research participants say like, how do they describe their experience? How do people that I talk to describe their experience the philosophy like phenomenology papers about first person subjective nature of grief? Yeah, really coming to that and trying to think, at the end of the day, like all of this brain stuff is really cool. I think it's, I think it's interesting. I think it's useful. Not only just because the pursuit of knowledge and knowing stuff about the world is useful, but I think there are ways that it can be helpful. Especially because grief is this pretty small research area, at least in the neuroscience like relative to depression and or PTSD, being really like okay, what I say is going to probably be pretty influential. Because there's not a lot of like other voices and so really trying to I don't know hold all of my ideas lightly and be open to other perspectives.CS: Yes, I think more more voices like that in the field of psychology or anything related to mental health is very needed. Well, it's been so lovely to talk with you about this. I found it very validating for you to email me and say like, yeah, it is complicated, like, thinking about all of these things. And I think like talking with you helped me understand. I think so many things, but I think I'm just left with like this idea of like, time and experience. “Time and new experience” is one of the phrases that's hanging around right now.SS: Yeah, this has been so much fun to connect with you about this and about something that is not about fMRI troubleshooting! That's been especially fun. But also, yeah, just really, as I said before, I really value your your perspective as a scientist and a human being going through this.CS: Thank you.Thank you again to my guest Saren Seeley. You can find her work at sarenseeley.github.io including some really great science writing that she's done. This podcast is for informational and educational purposes and is not intended to replace professional medical advice. Thank you to Grant Carey for helping to mix and edit this episode. Music is the song "Escape" by Sandwoman, which you can find on your favorite streaming services. Thank you so much for listening, and see you next time. Get full access to Emotion Lotion at emotionlotion.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to episode 198! In this episode Pauly and Tom touch on a multitude of topics ranging from the grief and what the brain does in response to grieving to ways to access the flow state, The boys also touch on what Pauly learnt on his trip to India as well as his silent retreat meditation experiences; why Tom is feeling called to actively practice spirituality, whether secular or religious. We hope you enjoy!

When Life Brings Your Massive Thing, You Only Have Two ChoicesThis episode was inspired by a letter I received from a listener. We talk about suffering and hope, and it will help you.Scripture: Isaiah 48:10, II Corinthians 1Books: Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart by Gordon Livingston and The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O'Connor(Bonus classic episode for Throwback Thursday)Leave a voicemail with your question or comment!Five Ways You Can Support this show:Pray for us!Subscribe, like, and share it with your friends! (We even have a YouTube channel!)Leave reviews and comments wherever you listen to podcasts!You can become a paid partner of the podcast and get special bonus episodes and lots more content by clicking here. Visit one of our affiliate partners and consider using their products (we use them every day):Improve your gut health, immune system, and protect your brain with Pique!Other Helpful Links:Click here to access the Hope Is the First Dose playlist of hopeful, healing songs!Be sure to check out my new book, Hope Is the First Dose!Here's a free 5-day Bible study on YouVersion/BibleApp based on my new book!Sign up for my weekly Self-Brain Surgery Newsletter here!All recent episodes with transcripts are available here! (00:00) - Introduction (03:18) - Acts of Kindness (04:24) - Impactful Mail (09:08) - Overcoming Tragedy (22:18) - Choosing Resilience (28:19) - Sharing the Load (29:13) - Comfort in Troubles (32:31) - Changing Your Mind (33:54) - Walking Through Grief

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self-funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. Consider making a small donation to support the Podcast: bit.ly/SupportGTPodcast. Thank you! For more information, please visit Nathalie's website, join the podcast's Instagram page, and subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.About this week's episodeMary-Frances's book The Grieving Brain has inspired me from the moment I started reading it. I recommend it to so many of my therapy clients who express a desire to understand grief – I've lost count. As a neuroscientist, she shares groundbreaking discoveries about what happens in our brain when we grieve, providing a new paradigm for understanding love, loss, and learning. So I'm very excited today to be speaking with Mary-Frances, neuroscientist and author of the book The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss, and to find out even more about the science behind grief and all that Mary-Frances and her colleagues have researched in their lab. I have been excitedly and patiently waiting for today's episode to find out even more of my favourite topics: grief and trauma and to have Mary-Frances enlighten our brains on those topics in a language that we can all understand. About this week's guestMary-Frances O'Connor, PhD is an Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab. Her research focuses on the physiological correlates of emotion, in particular, the wide range of physical and emotional responses during bereavement, including yearning and isolation. She believes that a clinical science approach toward the experience and mechanisms of grieving can improve interventions for prolonged grief disorder, newly included in the revised DSM-5. Website: maryfrancesoconnor.orgTwitter: @doctormfo Instagram: @doctormfoconnor Resources mentioned in this episode:Mary-Frances' book: The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and LossThank you for listening!HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. Support the showSupport the show: Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month Join Facebook Group - Grief and Trauma Support Network Download the FREE grief resource eBook Book a Discovery Call Leave a review Follow on socials: Instagram Facebook Website

Have you ever wondered how grief impacts your brain? Today, we are joined by the renowned grief neuroscientist and psychologist Dr Mary-Frances O'Connor, author of The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss.Mary Frances is the authority on the neurology of grief, and in this conversation, she shares her scientific research and practical knowledge about how our brains respond to loss. It's a fascinating must-listen for anyone coping with grief or supporting someone who is.Connect with usJoin our grief support membership waitlist here.Check out our shop or buy a signed copy of our book Good Mourning: Honest Conversations About Grief and Loss here: goodmourning.com.au/shop/Follow us on Instagram at @goodmourningpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When we ruminate on old losses and other massive things, it literally changes our brains and our bodies.(I'm Still Sick, So I'm Giving You An Important Episode Back Today!)In this episode, I'll give the science behind how psychosomatic illnesses work, and some compassionate self-brain surgery tools to change guilt into healthy, healing grief.Podcast Mentioned: While We're Waiting from Jill and Brad SullivanScripture: II Corinthians 10:5Book mentioned: The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O'ConnorLeave a voicemail with your question or comment!Five Ways You Can Support this show:Pray for us!Subscribe, like, and share it with your friends! (We even have a YouTube channel!)Leave reviews and comments wherever you listen to podcasts!You can become a paid partner of the podcast and get special bonus episodes and lots more content by clicking here. Visit one of our affiliate partners and consider using their products (we use them every day):Improve your gut health, immune system, and protect your brain with Pique!Other Helpful Links:Click here to access the Hope Is the First Dose playlist of hopeful, healing songs!Be sure to check out my new book, Hope Is the First Dose!Here's a free 5-day Bible study on YouVersion/BibleApp based on my new book!Sign up for my weekly Self-Brain Surgery Newsletter here!All recent episodes with transcripts are available here! (00:02) - Introducing a Special Episode on Grief and Healing (01:25) - Changing Your Life Starts with Changing Your Mind (03:01) - The Struggle of Moving on from Past Tragedies (04:38) - Blaming Oneself for Tragic Losses (06:08) - Changing the Structure of Memories (08:37) - Modulating Gene Expression Through Thought Processes (15:34) - The Habit of Guilt and Avoiding Grief (17:05) - Harmful Effects of Ruminating and Taking Control (19:00) - Unable to Change the Past, Embrace the Present (24:10) - Introducing "Hope is the First Dose" book

When we ruminate on old losses and other massive things, it literally changes our brains and our bodies.Today, I'll give the science behind how psychosomatic illnesses work, and some compassionate self-brain surgery tools to change guilt into healthy, healing grief.Podcast Mentioned: While We're Waiting from Jill and Brad SullivanScripture: II Corinthians 10:5Book mentioned: The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O'Connor(We are on a 2-week sabbatical to prepare for Season 10. This episode will help you get ready!)Leave a voicemail with your question or comment!You can become a paid partner of the podcast and get special bonus episodes and lots more content by clicking here. Support and boost your immune system with Armra! Use DRLEEWARREN code at checkout for a discount!Improve your gut health, immune system, and protect your brain with Pique!We have a YouTube Channel! Click here to subscribe.PLEASE SUBSCRIBE to the show wherever you listen!Click here to access the Hope Is the First Dose playlist of hopeful, healing songs!Be sure to check out my new book, Hope Is the First Dose!Here's a free 5-day Bible study on YouVersion/BibleApp based on my new book!Sign up for my weekly Self-Brain Surgery Newsletter here! (00:02) - Introduction to the episode and its importance (03:13) - Announcement about changes to the paid subscriber program (06:23) - Introduction and Upcoming Surgery (07:38) - Heartbreaking Story of a Child's Death from Meningitis (08:55) - Providing Tools for Coping with Grief (14:14) - The Ten Commandments of Self-Brain Surgery and Grief (16:17) - Counterfactual Thinking and its Impact on Grief Recovery (19:23) - The Habit of Counterfactual Thinking and Guilt (23:09) - The Compassion of Living in the Present (28:20) - Introduction and Book Advertisement

All of us experience loss and with that comes grief. Given its universality, it is sometimes difficult to understand why grief can be so devastating or how we can emerge from grief stronger. We explore that with Mary-Frances O'Connor.

Today's podcast features Meghan Riordan Jarvis who is a clinical psychotherapist and specializes in grief and loss using a trauma informed approach. Meghan is an author, podcaster, and advocate for change for grief in the workplace. In our conversation today, Meghan shares how she discovered her calling to work with clients who have experienced trauma, grief, and loss, and some of the approaches she uses with her clients. She also explains the model she has developed with her colleague to provide individuals who are grieving with a daily practice to help with their grief. During our time together, Meghan and I also discuss our shared interest in shifting how the corporate work environment addresses grief in the workplace. Key Points: Meghan describes anticipatory grief using the example of consuming small cups of water that we can slowly absorb, compared to grief that comes with a sudden or traumatic loss as a form of water boarding or trying to consume enormous amounts of water that the body is unable to absorb. Meghan has a beautiful and easy to understand way of describing concepts related to grief including EMDR and uses analogy of removing stains. Meghan talks about how she approaches self-care, and her decision to care for herself by getting someone to assist and help her in work and organization. This is a good reminder that self-care comes in many shapes and sizes and is unique for everyone. I appreciated Meghan's recommendation to block time into 3-hour increments. This is extremely helpful for those living in the aftermath of a sudden or unexpected death. Trauma leaves the mind and body so overwhelmed, that three-hour increments are a safe and manageable way to structure your day or engage in future planning when you are feeling overwhelmed by the pain or grief after the sudden or unexpected death of a loved one. I am so thankful to Meghan for her time and sharing her insights in this interview. Meghan's first book, The End of an Hour, her personal memoir, was released earlier this week, and her second book, Can Anyone Tell Me: Essential Questions About Grief and Loss will be released October 2024. We will have information about the first book in our Facebook group, Talking About the Podcast Untethered with Dr. Levin along with a reference to the book, The Grieving Brain which Meghan also mentions during our interview. If you would like to connect with Meghan, please join our Facebook group Talking About the Podcast Untethered with Dr. Levin.

If there was one thing you think society should talk more about, what would it be? “The grieving brain: the surprising science of how we learn from Love and loss ”__________Mary-Frances O'Connor PhD is one of the happiest people you'll ever meet and yet, she talks about grief all day, every day. Whilst many of you long-time listeners here on the podcast know I'm not shy when it comes to talking about death and grief, I wanted to learn more from Mary-Frances and get her take on a subject she's studied for more than 24 years. Mary-Frances is an associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab, which investigates the effects of grief on the brain and the body. She earned a doctorate from the University of Arizona and completed a fellowship at UCLA. Following a faculty appointment at UCLA Cousins Center for , she returned to the University of Arizona in 2012. Her work has been published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, Biological Psychiatry, and Psychological Science, and featured in Newsweek, the New York Times, and The Washington Post. She recently released a book on many of her findings:- The Grieving Brain: The surprising science of how we learn from love and loss - where she shares groundbreaking discoveries about what happens in our brain when we grieve, providing a new paradigm for understanding love, loss, and learning. _______For more information about Mary-Frances, check out these places;-Website: https://maryfrancesoconnor.org/Her Book: The Grieving BrainInstagram: Mary-Frances Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maryfrancesoconnor/Head to michellejcox.com for more information about the ONE QUESTION podcast, your host or today's guestsConnect with Michelle on Linkedin here:- @MichelleJCoxConnect with Michelle on Instagram here:- @michellejcoxConnect with Michelle on Facebook here - @michellejcoxAND, if you have a burning topic you'd love people to talk more about, or know someone who'd be great to come on the One Question podcast, please get in touch;- hello@michellejcox.com

When we ruminate on old losses and other massive things, it literally changes our brains and our bodies.Today, I'll give the science behind how psychosomatic illnesses work, and some compassionate self-brain surgery tools to change guilt into healthy, healing grief.Podcast Mentioned: While We're Waiting from Jill and Brad Sullivan Scripture: II Corinthians 10:5Book mentioned: The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O'ConnorPLEASE SUBSCRIBE to the show wherever you listen!Click here to access the Hope Is the First Dose playlist of hopeful, healing songs!Be sure to check out my new book, Hope Is the First Dose!Here's a free 5-day Bible study on YouVersion/BibleApp based on my new book!Sign up for my weekly Self-Brain Surgery Newsletter here!Music by John Prine(Music shared on The Dr. Lee Warren Podcast is authorized under BMI license #61063253 and ASCAP license #400010513 ) (00:02) - Introducing a Special Episode on Grief and Healing (01:25) - Changing Your Life Starts with Changing Your Mind (03:01) - The Struggle of Moving on from Past Tragedies (04:38) - Blaming Oneself for Tragic Losses (06:08) - Changing the Structure of Memories (08:37) - Modulating Gene Expression Through Thought Processes (15:34) - The Habit of Guilt and Avoiding Grief (17:05) - Harmful Effects of Ruminating and Taking Control (19:00) - Unable to Change the Past, Embrace the Present (24:10) - Introducing "Hope is the First Dose" book

When Life Brings Your Massive Thing, You Only Have Two ChoicesThis episode was inspired by a letter I received from a listener. We talk about suffering and hope, and it will help you. Scripture: Isaiah 48:10, II Corinthians 1Books: Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart by Gordon Livingston and The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O'ConnorPLEASE SUBSCRIBE to the show wherever you listen!Leave a comment or question for the upcoming "Ask Me Anything" Episode at this link: https://www.speakpipe.com/drleewarrenClick here to access the Hope Is the First Dose playlist of hopeful, healing songs!Be sure to check out my new book, Hope Is the First Dose!Here's a free 5-day Bible study on YouVersion/BibleApp based on my new book!Sign up for my weekly Self-Brain Surgery Newsletter here!

Dementia caregivers often have complicated feelings around grief and loss throughout the dementia journey. We talk with Mary-Frances O'Connor, Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Arizona and author of The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss, about emotions and changes that come with grief. She talks us through the scientific process of understanding how our brains process grief and why we experience it, what can trigger painful emotions and sensitivities, and why it's important for us to acknowledge our expression of it. 

#neurofeedbackpodcast #mentalhealthpodcast #superbrainsummit #grief Mary-Frances O'Connor, PhD ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR OF PSYCHOLOGY, UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA and Author of the Book The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss joins Dr Laura Jansons, Dr Lori Russell-Chapin and Pete Jansons to discuss her book as well as @BradleyUniversity 7th annual Super Brain Summit https://www.bradley.edu/academic/cio/ccbr/symposiums/superbrainsummit/ Key Moments: 0:00 2:25 7th Super Brain Summit at Bradley University 4:55 Keynote speaker Dr Mary-Frances O'Connor 6:40 Grief 8:30 Grief Class at Bradley 9:00 Bond with Pets 9:50 Daughter means 2 11:04 Routine Habits 12:52 Addictions 15:15 Neurofeedback and Grief 17:00 Nucleus Accumbens craving 19:08 Processing 21:13 Level Attachment 24:58 Grieving 25:30 Grieving people don't like advice 26:00 Would've could've thoughts 27:48 Tools 29:35 Control/Letting Go 32:29 Dr lori Russell-Chapin Story 34:00 Faith The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss A renowned grief expert and neuroscientist shares groundbreaking discoveries about what happens in our brain when we grieve, providing a new paradigm for understanding love, loss, and learning. For as long as humans have existed, we have struggled when a loved one dies. Poets and playwrights have written about the dark cloak of grief, the deep yearning, how devastating heartache feels. But until now, we have had little scientific perspective on this universal experience. In The Grieving Brain, neuroscientist and psychologist Mary-Frances O'Connor, PhD, gives us a fascinating new window into one of the hallmark experiences of being human. O'Connor has devoted decades to researching the effects of grief on the brain, and in this book, she makes cutting-edge neuroscience accessible through her contagious enthusiasm, and guides us through how we encode love and grief. With love, our neurons help us form attachments to others; but, with loss, our brain must come to terms with where our loved ones went, or how to imagine a future that encompasses their absence. Based on O'Connor's own trailblazing neuroimaging work, research in the field, and her real-life stories, The Grieving Brain does what the best popular science books do, combining storytelling, accessible science, and practical knowledge that will help us better understand what happens when we grieve and how to navigate loss with more ease and grace. SUPER BRAIN SUMMIT The Super Brain Summit is an annual conference with live and asynchronous sessions that showcases internationally known experts to talk about the many, diverse wonders of the brain. The 2023 event will focus on The Grieving Brain, the surprising science of how we learn from love and loss. The featured speaker will be Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor. There will be four sessions available: To understand grief, understand bonding and attachment Neurobiology of grief and grieving Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD) (Grieving as form of learning) Toolkit of coping strategies and psychotherapeutic intervention You will have three options to register for Super Brain. You may register for in person, live streaming or recorded sessions. If you choose the in person or live streaming event, you will not automatically receive the recorded session. You must register specifically for recorded sessions. Continuing Education Units (CEUs) for LPC, LCPC, LSW, LMFT, LCP, RN, LPN, APN, PT, and PTA will be awarded for full participation in the program. Each session will earn .15 CEUs (1.5 contact hours). For more information regarding registration contact Gwen Howarter in Continuing Education and Professional Development at ghowarter@bradley.edu or (309) 677-3900. For more information regarding programming, contact Dr. Lori Russell-Chapin, Professor and Co-Director for the Center for Collaborative Brain Research lar@bradley.edu or (309) 677-3186. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neuronoodle/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neuronoodle/support

We have an amazing guest on today's episode, Mary-Frances O'Connor, a psychologist and author of "The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss."Mary-Frances conducts studies to better understand the grief process both psychologically and physiologically. She is a leader in the field of prolonged grief, a clinical condition in which people do not adjust to the acute feelings of grief and show increases in yearning, avoidance, and rumination. Her work primarily focuses on trying to tease out the mechanisms that cause this ongoing and severe reaction to loss. In particular, she is curious about the neurobiological, immune, and cardiovascular factors that vary between individual responses to grief.In this episode we explore the different facets of grief, how it affects our brain, how to deal with it and how we can support others. A heavy topic, and we are complete novices here but we learnt a lot and hope that you did to.This episode is sponsored by Vivobarefoot Footwear. Vivobarefoot Footwear have given our listeners an exclusive 15% discount when you enter the code HAPPYPEAR15 Genuinely these are the only shoes you will see Dave & Steve wearing!Lots of Love,Dave & SteveProduced by Sean Cahill and Sara Fawsitt Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Feel Good From Within with Yvette Le Blowitz - #SPAITGIRL Podcast EP.202 - The Grieving Brain w/Mary-Frances O'Connor, PhD, Grief Expert, Neuroscientist Psychologist and Author  In The Grieving Brain, renowned grief expert and neuroscientist Mary-Frances O'Connor, PhD shares groundbreaking discoveries about what happens in our brain when we grieve, providing a new paradigm for understanding love, loss and learning. For as long as humans have existed, we have struggled when a loved one dies. Poets and playwrights have written about the dark cloak of grief, the deep yearning, how devastating heartache feels. But until now, we have had little scientific perspective on this universal experience. Mary-Frances O'Connor,PhD, has devoted decades to researching the effects of grief on the brain and in her book The Grieving Brain, she makes cutting-edge neuroscience accessible through her contagious enthusiasm, and guides us through how we encode love and grief. With love, our neurons help us form attachments to others, but with loss, our brain must come to terms with where our loves ones went, or how to imagine a future that encompasses their absence. Based on O'Connor's own trailblazing neuroimaging work, research in the field, and her real-life stories, The Grieving Brain does what the best popular science books do, combining storytelling, accessible science, and practical knowledge that will help us better understand what happens when we grieve. Yvette Le Blowitz Podcast Host talks with Mary-Frances O'Connor,PhD author of The Grieving Brain who shares a practical overview of what happens when we grieve and how to navigate loss with more ease. In Podcast Episode - EP.202 Mary-Frances O'Connor,PhD shares: - a little bit about herself - insights into her book - The Grieving Brain  - a practical overview of grief and grieving - groundbreaking discoveries about what happens in our brain when we grieve - how to support a loved one after a loss - practical grief and grieving tips - her own self-care rituals Plus we talk about so much more.... Get Ready to TUNE  ------ Episode 202 - #spaitgirl Podcast with Yvette Le Blowitz  available on Apple, Spotify, Google, iHeart Radio, Amazon Music, Audible, iTunes, Libysn, Audiobookstore.com Available on all Podcast Apps  search for #spaitgirl on any podcast app or on google  -------- Available to watch on Youtube Channel - Spa it Girl or Yvette Le Blowitz Press the Play Button Below  - Subscribe to my youtube channel/s in support ----- JOIN OUR #SPAITGIRL BOOK CLUB Buy a copy of   **The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O'Connor, PhD **order now through the spaitgirl podcast affiliated BookTopia link *any book purchase via this link will result in a small commission paid by BookTopia to spaitgirl **thanks for your support for more books search via Booktopia our affiliated online book store  *click here Hashtag #spaitgirlbookclub + tag @spaitgirl to share what book you are currently reading --- STAY IN TOUCH   Podcast Guest Mary-Frances O'Connor,PhD Author of The Grieving Brain Website www.maryfrancesoconnor.org Instagram @doctormfoconnor ------ Podcast Host  Yvette Le Blowitz  Instagram @yvetteleblowitz Website www.yvetteleblowitz.com Website www.feelgoodfromwithin.com Youtube Channel: Yvette Le Blowitz  TikTok: @yvetteleblowitz Become a Podcast Show Sponsor #SPAITGIRL  www.spaitgirl.com Email: info@spaitgirl.com Email: info@feelgoodfromwithin.com www.feelgoodfromwithin.com ---- JOIN OUR #SPAITGIRL Community  Instagram: @spaitgirl TikTok: @spaitgirl Sign Up to my Mailing List: www.spaitgirl.com Sign Up to my Mailing List: www.feelgoodfromwithin.com Search for #spaitgirl on any podcast app, youtube and subscribe  --- HOW TO SUPPORT Feel Good From Within with Yvette Le Blowitz - #SPAITGIRL Podcast  Little Random Act of Kindness - podcast show - support - ideas below  - subscribe to the #spaitgirl podcast show on any podcast app or youtube channel  - leave a 5* rating and review  - tell someone about the #spaitgirl podcast show - share your favourite episode - tag @spaitgirl in your stories - hashtag #spaitgirl to share the show &  Together "Let's Feel Good From Within" and #makefeelinggoodgoviral Please note - Affiliated Links included in this spaitgirl.com blog post includes affiliated links with Amazon.com and booktopia.com.au- should you order any books from Amazon.com or Booktopia.com.au via the links contained in this blog post spaitgirl.com will receive a small paid commission fee from the online book stores.  Please note - The information in this podcast is a general conversation between the podcast host and podcast guest and is not intended to replace professional medical advice and should not be considered a substitute for medical treatment or advice from a mental health professional or qualified medical doctor or specialist.  Use of any of the material in this podcast show is always at the listeners discretion.   The podcast host and guest accept no liability arising directly or indirectly from use or misuse of any of the information contained in this podcast show and podcast episode conversation, or any trauma triggered or health concerns associated with it. If you are experiencing depression, mental illness, PTSD, trauma, abuse or have any health concerns please seek medical professional help immediately.   #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthpodcast #podcast #grief #griefjourney #grieving #grieftips #griefandloss #books #book #TheGrievingBrain #Neuroscience #wellbeing #selfcare #selfhelp #selfhelpbooks #selfhelpbook #selfhelppodcast #books #book #bookclub #bookpodcast #wellbeingpodcast #anxietyrelief #anxiety #depression #depressionawareness #relationships #podcasts #podcastshow #podcastshows #spotifypodcast #applepodcasts #iheartradio #googlepodcasts #feelgoodfromwithin #feelgoodfromwithinpodcast #feelgoodfromwithinwithyvetteleblowitz #podcasthost #YvetteLeBlowitz #yvetteleblowitz #health #wellness #healthpodcast #wellnesspodcast #selfcarepodcast #personaldevelopment #spaitgirl #spaitgirlpodcast #yvettesbookclub #feelgoodfromwithinbookclub #bookcommunity #mentalhealthadvocate #spaitgirlpodcast   

Mary-Frances O'Connor is my special guest in this episode. I devoured her book, The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss last year and knew I needed to have a conversation with the author on this show. I'm grateful to share that late last year, I had the honor of sitting down with Mary-Frances to explore the fascinating work she has been doing studying the Grieving Brain. I'm 100% confident you will learn so much and appreciate the warmth and wisdom she brings to this conversation. EPISODE RESOURCES:Mary-Frances O'Connor is an associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab, which investigates the effects of grief on the brain and the body. O'Connor earned a doctorate from the University of Arizona in 2004 and completed a fellowship at UCLA. Her work has been published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, Biological Psychiatry, and Psychological Science, and featured in Newsweek, the New York Times, and The Washington Post.I HIGHLY RECOMMEND buying her book, The Grieving Brain here at Amazon or any major booksellers. You can also learn more about her and her work by visiting her website: www.maryfrancesoconnor.orgJUMP STRAIGHT INTO:(13:46) – Explains shift from understanding grief effect on physiology to effect on the brain(21:-00) – Mary-Frances explains our need for attachment and security and what happens when we lose that relationship.(36:45) – Explains how understanding how the brain maps our relationships and why each grief journey is unique (43:00) - Explains while it's common for us to think about the shoulda, coulda, wouldas in loss, rumination is actually a form of avoidance. She offers some alternative ways to consider the loss.NEW MERCH ALERTYou asked, I answered. I finally created some GSB Podcast merch from tees to hoodies to coffee mugs, journals and stickers. Head over to the Grief Happens Shop at www.lisakeefauver.com/griefhappensshop 3 WAYS TO STAY CONNECTED SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform so you don't miss an episode. If you love the show, I'd love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review.INVITE ME TO YOUR INBOX to get behind-the-scenes on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter.IF YOU'RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too. @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mary-Frances O'Connor, Ph.D. is an Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Arizona where she conducts studies to better understand the grief process both psychologically and physiologically. She is a leader in the field of prolonged grief, a clinical condition in which people do not adjust to the acute feelings of grief and show increases in yearning, avoidance, and rumination. Her work primarily focuses on trying to tease out the mechanisms that cause this ongoing and severe reaction to loss. In particular, she is curious about the neurobiological, immune, and cardiovascular factors that vary between individual responses to grief. Dr. O'Connor's book: The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss gives us a fascinating new window into one of the hallmark experiences of being human. O'Connor has devoted decades to researching the effects of grief on the brain, and in this book, she makes cutting-edge neuroscience accessible through her contagious enthusiasm and guides us through how we encode love and grief. With love, our neurons help us form attachments to others; but, with loss, our brain must come to terms with where our loved ones went, or how to imagine a future that encompasses their absence. Based on O'Connor's own trailblazing neuroimaging work, research in the field, and her real-life stories, The Grieving Brain does what the best popular science books do, combining storytelling, accessible science, and practical knowledge that will help us better understand what happens when we grieve and how to navigate loss with more ease and grace. In today's episode: How Mary-Frances got into the field of bereavement science Why it is so hard and takes so long to understand that when someone dies it is forever Why grief causes so many emotions What happens to the brain during grief How our understanding of grief has changed over time Why do some people adapt better than others when someone passes away What can we do when we are overwhelmed with grief? Can our grief change? Signature Question: If you could tell a younger version of yourself something about grief/grieving/bereavement – what would it be? Follow Dr. O'Connor: Website: https://maryfrancesoconnor.org/ Book: https://www.amazon.com/Grieving-Brain-Surprising-Science-Learn/dp/0062946242/ref=asc_df_0062946242/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=598249994043&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17161250467926381577&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9021321&hvtargid=pla-1676635241690&psc=1 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maryfranceso Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doctormfoconnor/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maryfrancesoconnor/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/doctormfo ANNOUNCEMENTS: Dr. Jen Unwin is holding a 3-day/2-night all-inclusive weekend retreat of learning, sharing, and support for anyone addicted to processed foods, sugar, or carbs. The event will take place March 3-5 in Ambleside, England, and will include 6 months of monthly online support sessions. All proceeds go to the Public Health Collaboration. Email fgriffiths0@googlemail.com or jenunwin@hotmail.co.uk There is still time to join us for the no-cost workshop in the month of February. Wednesdays starting Feb 1st thru the 22nd at 2p EST/ 7p UK Molly and Clarissa will host 90-minute sessions to process the Foundations Modules. Purchase the Foundations Course for $200 USD today and have access to the course and replays of the LIVE 4-week sessions. Molly and Clarissa are also excited to let you know that Viktoria Hamma, Chronic Pain and Wellness coach is returning in February with 3 hypnotherapy sessions to go along with the Foundation Modules. Her sessions will cover Mindful Eating, Emotional Eating, and Self-Compassion for $ 50 USD. Contact Molly & Clarissa for details at info@sweetsobriety.ca. Foundations Modules: https://www.sweetsobriety.ca/courses/sweet-sobriety-foundations Hypnotherapy: https://www.sweetsobriety.ca/live-class/hypnotherapy-for-mindful-eating-emotional-eating-and-self-compassion/register   The content of our show is educational only. It does not supplement or supersede your healthcare provider's professional relationship and direction. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified mental health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition, substance use disorder, or mental health concern.

Guest host Allison Pataki speaks to renowned grief expert and neuroscientist Mary-Frances O'Connor, who combines trailblazing neuroimaging work and field research, and beautiful storytelling in her new book The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss. Mary-Frances discusses the myth of the five stages of grieving (it's not linear or finite!) and the fascinating brain science behind grief and grieving (from love bonding to uncharacteristic bursts of anger to believing, for a split second, that they are still alive). She also explains how we can best support those who are grieving and shares her best advice for aspiring authors. Purchase on Amazon or Bookshop.Amazon: https://bit.ly/3WVFvpaBookshop: https://bit.ly/3CeB3tzSubscribe to Zibby's weekly newsletter here.Purchase Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books merch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whether you are on a grief journey that feels never-ending, or you're trying to figure out how to support someone who's currently grieving, you can benefit from hearing a variety of angles on grief. This week, author and leader in the field of complicated grief Mary-Frances O'Connor shares groundbreaking discoveries about what happens to our grieving brains.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/170

There's a lot of loss in the world these days, both in our individual lives and in our broader communities, and with those losses comes grief. Grief is one of the most challenging emotions to be with, and it can be difficult to offer generalized advice because everyone's experience of grief is profoundly unique. On today's episode of Being Well, Forrest is joined by one of the world's leading researchers on grief, Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor, to help us better understand grief and grieving. They explore why grief is such a unique and intense emotion, how grief works in the brain, the problems with generalized models like the “five stages of grief,” and how we can learn to live with loss.About Our Guest: Mary-Frances is a neuroscientist, clinical psychologist, and associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress Lab, which investigates the effects of grief on the brain and the body. She's also the author of the wonderful book The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction and disclaimer3:35: Mary-Frances' personal background6:55: Distinguishing grief from grieving9:20: Self-criticism, and the over-focus on recovery11:20: Grief isn't "something to get over"13:00: Attachment, and our neurological map16:00: Prediction error19:30: Complicated grief25:00: Spiritual practice, or having a worldview that incorporates death28:05: Is there a ‘normal' grieving process?35:25: Pathology, and normal human experiences46:00: Neurological overview of grief in the brain50:40: The Dual Process Model of Grief54:10: Sometimes distraction is okay56:15: Therapeutic practices and learning from grief1:01:00: Grief and its relationship to love1:03:40: Recap Rick's Grief and Loss Workshop: We all face losses in life, from separation and disappointment to shocking, even traumatic events. Join Rick August 13 and 14 for 7 hours of LIVE, online teaching focused on learning simple, powerful practices that help us come to terms with them, heal, and find happiness again. Use coupon code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off the registration price.Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can't wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world's largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

Very few of us will live a life without loss. As part of our Mental Health Reboot series in recognition of Mental Health Awareness Month, this week's episodes talk a lot about grieving. Mary-Frances O'Connor, an expert in bereavement research, explores the science of how we grieve and experience loss, whether it's a job or a loved one. Mary-Frances O'Connor is an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Arizona, where she is also the Director of Clinical Training. And she is the author of a book called The Grieving Brain.In this episode we talk about: The distinction between grief and grievingHow her Buddhist practice has influenced her understanding of griefWhether or not we can ever quote/unquote “get over it”Why she argues for “a really big toolkit of coping strategies” How to understand the work of Elizabeth Kübler-Ross todayWhat grieving looks like in a pandemicWhat to say to people who are grievingThe new diagnosis of prolonged grief disorderContent Warning: Brief mention of suicide. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mary-frances-oconnor-450See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.