Two Assholes and a Mic

Send us Fan MailIn S2E43, we start off talking GTA 5 money grinds, warehouses, motorcycle club missions, selling “math,” Coca-Cola, Mary Jane, counterfeit cash, forged documents, nightclub work, bunker runs, and Robby trying to make enough fake money to keep himself entertained before GTA 6. From there, we get into Lego Batman: Legacy of the Dark Knight, Batgirl's annoying hacking mechanic, bad internet, recording locations, Ian's house plans, writing down ideas, conspiracy theory shows, The Simpsons predicting everything, Kamala possibly running again, insane grocery prices, Texas beef somehow still being expensive, raw dog-diet ideas, pig ears, chicken feet, frozen banana treats, and Ian's trip to Felixstowe beach. We also talk about Ian's recent back procedure, tailbone soreness, scar tissue, catheter injections, Robby's heart attack and widow-maker blockage, how much better blood flow can change everything, brain power, Lucy, telekinesis, bloodbending from Avatar, why Ian needs to watch the cartoon, One Piece being way too many episodes, Dragon Ball Z Kai cutting out the fluff, and Robby debating whether to drive the Mustang to work. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E42, we kick things off with Robby doom scrolling One Piece and GTA videos while Ian talks through house plans, office garage dreams, fire pits, fans for the kids' rooms, and eventually getting AC installed. From there, Slinky's cone-head chaos takes over, along with dog feeding routines, Roxy stealing leftovers, giant cow bones, Starlink problems, and Riverside turning Robby into full Megatron mid-conversation. We also get into how we categorize friendships, why some people are long-distance friends versus in-person friends, trying to animate podcast reels, Robby's baseball game, broken bats, expensive parking, mosquito traps, Japan earthquakes, memories of the 2011 disaster relief trip to Minamisanriku, parking-lot etiquette when cars are backing out, Texas Walmart chaos, “People of Walmart” energy, Robby's painted nails and flip-flop uniform, and finally discovering that his Peaky Blinders-looking hat is apparently an Irish flat cap. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E41, we bring John back on and immediately get into retired “love me walls,” coins, shadow boxes, Robby definitely not smoking tobacco in Oregon, Jessie chewing rocks, and whether certain people looked like they grew up eating limestone. From there, we talk big-head headset problems, carbonated “water,” Robby getting caught at the bar when he was supposed to be recording with John and Ian, Riverside connection issues, Brooke having a boyfriend, John teaching his daughters real-world car skills, jump-starting cars, changing tires, oil changes, and why kids should know how to handle basic mechanical problems. We also get into old-man driving habits, having fewer friends after the military, hanging out at the bar just to see familiar people, tattoo ideas drawn by kids, architecture and video game art plans, extroverted versus introverted kids, Asher's nonstop energy, Coraline as a comfort movie, turning podcast reels into animation, hating the sound of your own voice, customer-service personalities, blunt post-military workplace problems, shutting down John's gym after burning himself out, mini-stroke warnings, slowing down after forty, and the dream of paying everything off before getting a chill job at AutoZone for car-part discounts.Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E40, we start with Ian trying to have a sincere heterosexual-life-mate moment before Riverside immediately tries to ruin it with connection issues. From there, Ian talks about the London trip with the family, Asher walking all day without complaining, bumblebees checking out his toy bow and arrow, and the weird balance between letting kids burn off energy versus handing them an iPad. We also get into Slinky getting his nuts taken, Roxy needing approval after barking at everything, brutal Texas heat, and then fully derail into time travel, alternate realities, sacred timelines, whether one country could secretly control time travel, infinite universes, alien civilizations, whether they'd come in peace or murder-death-kill us, the size of the observable universe, black holes, gravity, time, and whether a black hole is really just mass or a tear through spacetime sucking in light. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E39, Ian and Robby start off getting into forgotten water, forgotten phone cords, grocery runs, crock-pot spaghetti sauce dreams, and whether pasta cooked directly in sauce would be genius or absolute mush. From there, we talk Robby getting called into work early, the ongoing beard and mustache maintenance saga, Movember plans, shoehorn mustaches, Oscar and his twin brother looking like real-life Hagrids, and Robby accidentally creating a cursed Voldemort soundboard moment. We also get into beard dye, ginger beard energy, ONE Championship knockouts, lip cuts, elbows, mouth injuries, weird body facts, flatworms eating and crapping through the same hole, fish creating sand, old human remains, Spain's World Cup conversation, soccer versus football versus fútbol, rugby being violent as hell, sumo, and Ian barely making it to the outro before the internet tried to kick him off again. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S1E1, we officially kick off Two Assholes on a Mic with Ian and Robby introducing themselves, explaining how the podcast came together, and immediately proving there was never going to be a strict plan. We talk possible podcast names, the origin of “Kiegel,” British breakfast crimes, Schöfferhofer, Dragon's Milk tasting like farts, Apple Crown versus Jim Beam Apple, and why most of this show is really just two friends drinking and talking shit. We also get into Ian's military-kid background, Lakenheath, meeting Kirstie, the legendary “Karasty” Starbucks cup, Misawa memories, drifting in the bongo, Joy's burger getting thrown into the yard, and Robby's path from Kodiak to Nellis, Japan, Edwards, and Texas. The episode also touches on Robby meeting Erin, their family, Willow's medical journey and passing, the fight to change Texas law, Whatnot LEGO streams, retirement, and why this podcast is meant to be a place for venting, laughing, telling stories, and seeing where the conversation goes. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E38, we start with a creepy Skype story from Ian's time in Korea before getting into Robby sleeping thirteen and a half hours, waking up sore but mentally refreshed, and somehow turning that into a theory about humans tossing and turning for survival. From there, we talk Fortnite mobile players being way too good, self-revives, Ian taking Kai and Asher metal detecting, finding absolutely nothing but nails and earthy “steaks,” and the difference between kids who love getting dirty and kids who want nothing to do with it. We also get into Misawa versus Edwards outdoor life, Robby's increasingly powerful mustache, beard and mustache competitions, Slinky getting stickers stuck in his ear, miniature dachshunds, Neil Armstrong and the moon landing debate, conspiracy rabbit holes, animal control chasing neighborhood goats, whether goats could help Robby defeat the sticker weeds, and why the real problem is keeping them off the vehicles. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E37, we accidentally start with the fastest outro-intro combo ever before getting straight into Robby waking up to emergency poop pains and both of us comparing unfortunate shit-yourself stories. From there, we get into payday beers, no-judgment rules, Ian bouncing back from a rough work week, and Robby realizing that working with Hannah may not be the issue as much as his own delayed hearing and processing in a loud bar. We also talk about people being confidently wrong, the weird contradiction of having a strong work ethic but being lazy at home, video game burnout, World of Warcraft achievements, digital gratification, Robby's old four-wheeler, Ian disappearing mid-recording, and Robby carrying the end of the episode solo with dog updates, Whatnot plugs, no wasp attacks, and a surprisingly peaceful moment watching trees move in the wind. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E36, we start off with Robby getting attacked by a wasp seconds into the episode before Ian talks through one of those chaotic adult-life days where everything seems to go wrong at once. From there, we shift into rainy-day nostalgia, kids running around outside, puddles, homemade sailboats, and missing those simple days when getting soaked in the rain was the whole point. We also get into Robby's casino trip, losing money because the pool was closed, almost winning big, the weird disappointment of lottery payouts, Lisa Frank nails, Trapper Keepers, the Winstar casino, Dallas trip ideas, London show plans, Alaska flights, Space-A and “grey tail” travel, Roxy trying to “vurp” in Robby's face, Slinky's stickers, UK school breaks, and the very important seventh-grade mission of establishing dominance. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E35, we bring on Christopher Smith, the man responsible for calling Ian a Bag O'Douche in his book, and catch up on retirement life, work-from-home setups, gaming headsets, getting older, getting fatter, getting skinnier, and Chris immediately talking shit about Ian having no AC in the UK. From there, we get into CPAP machines, dry-mouth dragon breathing, brutal electric bills, GLP-1s, portion control, running, whiskey collections, and an old deployment gym story involving Robby, pre-workout, and bathroom destruction that apparently sounded like a mortar attack. We also talk about the “she is autism” story, Ian's Texas visit, retirement routines, regular bar spots, LEGO Batman, Star Wars: Rebuild the Galaxy, World of Warcraft, Path of Exile, Diablo, GTA, Phasmophobia, Ian's endless house-buying process, whether he'll stay in England, Misawa dreams, Florida plans, Halloween houses, weather, climate arguments, flat-earthers, and Chris wrapping it up by saying he misses the boys and wants to catch up more often. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E34, we start with Robby's Slingshot finally getting towed off for repairs and a questionable vet adventure involving Slinky, a fresh stool sample, and front-desk confusion that makes absolutely no sense. From there, we get into another update on Ian's house paperwork, mortgage deeds, witnesses, surveys, and the painfully slow UK house-buying process. We also talk about God Save the King still sounding weird, giant cicada killer wasps, mud daubers, bumblebees, using leaf blowers to clean dog fur, Chris coming on the podcast, Wing Wednesday, carnivore diet plans, local butchers, steak cuts, tomahawks, THC-A loopholes, Texas needing to just legalize it already, religion staying out of people's business, and the shocking amount of time Robby spends oiling, brushing, straightening, waxing, and weaponizing that mustache before work. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E33, we start off with a slightly cursed intro before getting into Robby's plan to finally get the Slingshot picked up and looked at, Ian having one of those disconnected “don't want to deal with anything” days, and a heavier detour into crime stories, scams, and why people can be absolute trash sometimes. From there, we lighten things back up with Robby offering to send over some no-box LEGO sets for the kids, Ian picking up a Batman LEGO set for Kai, and Robby talking about taking a quick Oklahoma “tobacco” trip before spending the night in GTA chasing random players around in a cop car. We also get into GTA roleplay servers, GTA 6 hopes, PlayStation versus Xbox, racing games, Forza, Gran Turismo, streaming games live, building gaming PCs, outdated gaming laptops, and somehow end on a clean run with no spam calls or dog chaos. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E32, we start off sweating through another round of Texas garage heat and UK weather talk before Robby gives an update on finally selling the trailer and getting the Slingshot lined up for a tow, repair, and possible sale. From there, Ian drops the big news that the house contract has finally arrived and been signed, which leads into the usual comparison of how painfully slow the UK house-buying process feels compared to the States. We also get into garage cleanouts, weed whacking, property easements, magnolia trees, tattoo ideas, teenage attitude voices, Brooke writing her own stories, Black Mirror, Love, Death & Robots, The Ultimate Fighter, One Piece, Dragon Ball Daima, rewatching The X-Files, childhood sewer-monster trauma, wasp flybys, and why Robby's tattoos apparently go through seasonal phases like the moon. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E31, we bring on our old friend Chance Cunningham and catch up on life after the Air Force. We talk about Chance retiring out of Fairchild, getting medically retired after 21 and a half years, rolling straight into his VA rating, and what it feels like to finally collect the retirement we all beat ourselves up for. From there, we get into kids, college, GI Bill benefits, CCAF/EPR bullet chasing, Course 14/15, NCOA, Crash School, online classes, and why some of us just wanted to do the job without all the extra blue nonsense. We also talk Volkswagens, Mustangs, project cars, welding floor pans, Texas heat versus UK houses with no AC, weight loss, carnivore dieting, Ozempic-style shots, and how retirement can quietly get lonely when you go from seeing your people every day to barely knowing anyone nearby. That leads into a surprisingly honest VFW realization: maybe all those old heads weren't just sitting around telling stories for no reason — maybe they missed the same thing we're starting to miss now. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E30, we kick things off with Ian sweating through the UK heat with no AC while Robby enjoys his precious American cooling. From there, we get into the latest mystery with Kirstie's car, diesel particulate filters, oil dilution, check engine lights that disappear at the worst possible time, and why modern cars are a pain in the ass. We also talk Slinky getting attacked by stickers, Robby losing money at poker, hole-in-the-wall taco spots, horchata, Texas construction, Tiger Woods apparently ruining the roads, esports, Masters of the Universe, and another deep dive into Dragon Ball Z, Daima, Buu, Uub, and why the ending pissed Robby off. Then we somehow end up on fighting anime, dog neutering versus human vasectomies, testicular cancer in dogs, cones versus body sleeves, Comic Con plans, Wing Wednesday dread, regulars at the bar, and Robby possibly needing an Oklahoma casino trip. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E29, we start with Robby showing off a new Sonic LEGO set, Knuckles, Rogue, dual-molded minifig legs, and whether custom 3D-printed LEGO figs are actually a thing. From there, we get into Robby's bar schedule, learning drinks, wine pours, being a “15% handicap” behind the bar, Ian accidentally calling a coworker the wrong name, Uncle Buzz, LEGO reward points, gift cards, kids getting spending money, and trying to push them toward jobs and earning their own cash. We also talk about teenage anxiety, social batteries, feeling guilty when we're out too long, ADHD, auditory processing disorder, Whatnot friends, and finish with Robby telling the story of accidentally traumatizing Autumn with light-up shoes and fake alien attacks in the Edwards desert. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E28, we kick things off with full dad-mode chaos, dog hair everywhere, and Slinky demanding attention like usual. From there, we get into Slinky's stinky feet, dogs sweating through their paws, baby teeth, Roxy trying to sit on Robby, USA versus Australia, clogged “tobacco” carts, pipe cleaners, future podcast guest ideas, becoming a better parent with age, Autumn's online art contest, summer plans, camping, Alaska, Lego Batman, Fortnite, Forza, PlayStation Plus, and why Robby still doesn't fully trust digital games. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E27, we start with Slinky getting seeds and eye goop picked out, Robby waking up in full existential “what am I doing with my life” mode, and Ian talking about the problem with wanting a relaxing “tobacco” morning when you still have places to be. From there, we get into Robby's chaotic Wing Wednesday shift, the many versions of his name at work, UK office heat with no AC, tiny desk fans, Alani energy drink flavors, job satisfaction, expo chaos, yaki, gyoza, and why Japanese barbecue sauce beats regular barbecue sauce. Then the episode fully derails into the real question: why do people call someone weak a “pussy” when testicles are clearly the fragile ones? We break down the logic, build a new insult vocabulary, and land on “ball bag,” “testicular energy,” and “you don't have to get all scrotal about it.” Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E26, we kick things off with Slinky, Roxy's heavy-breathing ass, and Robby showing off his ridiculous Toy Story-themed nails. From there, we get into LEGO pop culture figs, Venomized characters, missing pieces, Batgirl parts that have to stay with Willow's collection, and somehow end up talking about whether riding on the back of a garbage truck would be fun for about a week. We also talk electric vehicles, charging infrastructure, sleep schedules, old mid-shift drinking habits, going live versus keeping the podcast audio-only, pipe screens, “tobacco,” Texas heat versus UK weather, AC in British houses, giant wasps doing Top Gun flybys, Top Gun: Maverick, fighter jets overhead, Misawa swapping F-16s for F-35s, and whether a job in Japan would be enough to make Robby quit “tobacco” and disappear across the world. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E25, we start with Slinky covered in stickers, dog hair everywhere, and Robby debating whether Slinky's “newts” need to go after he marks one of the LEGO boxes. From there, we talk about brushing Slinky and Roxy, Roxy's guard-dog energy, bite strength, and how weirdly gentle she gets when taking treats. The episode then shifts into Ian's ongoing Range Rover nightmare, including the P0341 camshaft position sensor code, the possible timing chain issue, and the brutal £6,000 repair quote. We also get into whether it makes more sense to fix it, trade it in, or sell it to a dealership, before somehow ending up on COVID car prices, Robby's possibly broken toe, dog bite stories, future dog options, pipe screens, frozen video delays, and the unforgettable birth of “Dick Falange.” Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E24, we start off talking about online Goodwill LEGO lots, giant pallets of mystery bricks, Robby's day running around with Autumn, and Kirstie's birthday plans. From there, we get into Dragon Ball, including Robby's hatred for the Vegito-inside-Buu episode and Ian getting closer to the Tournament of Power. We also talk rare Atlantis LEGO figs, old Star Trek toys, childhood collectibles, pawned comics, Robin Hood, Waterworld, comfort-watching old movies, and why familiar shows like Rick and Morty and Gravity Falls are easy background noise. Then the episode takes a turn when Kirstie's Range Rover throws a check engine light, leading to live troubleshooting, dealership diagnostic fee complaints, dream replacement cars, Audi wagons, CTS-V wagons, Dean impulse-buying a Corvette, and a camshaft position sensor code that may or may not point toward timing chain bullshit. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E23, we bring on Rodney, also known as Cuban Bee, and catch up on life after the military. We talk about his move to Florida, retiring in 2023, getting his A&P, teaching aviation maintenance, buying a dream home, and raising two young kids after spending the first decade of marriage travelling and enjoying life. From there, we get into old crash recovery memories, the car crash Ian and Rodney somehow walked away from, life in England, Florida and Texas heat, medical cannabis versus tobacco, working at a sports bar, weight loss, old video games, Call of Duty, GTA, Need for Speed Underground, kids, patches, going back to school, and the reality of being retired but still tired as hell. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E22, we bring on our old Misawa coworker and friend, Josh, to catch up after years of not talking. We get into Josh's retirement life, small-town Arizona living, the opportunity to take over a machine shop, and how machining heads and building engines scratches that old maintenance itch without all the military bullshit from above. From there, we talk about missing the satisfaction of turning wrenches, old crew chief days, small-town life, retirement routines, car projects, Ian's future GTR plans, Josh's '65 and '66 Mustangs, Robby's family truck, painted nails, Whatnot streams, LEGO selling, and the weird balance between hobbies, side hustles, and actual work. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S1E21, we fight through another round of technical difficulties, audio delays, reconnecting issues, and Ian's car trying to hijack the Bluetooth mid-recording. Once we finally get rolling, we talk watermelon flavors, Robby's LEGO zombie Captain America build, weird word mix-ups, missing LEGO parts, Joy's legendary pronunciations, Brooke becoming the cat whisperer, and whether Robby needs a Maine Coon to handle the mouse situation in his garage. We also get into Roxy and Slinky getting brushed, picking up a new Spotify follower, upcoming guests, Slingshot towing and diagnostics, dealership fees, SpaceX and Starlink satellite launches, rocket test explosions, garage wasps, mud daubers, F-35s flying overhead, and why F-15s still sound louder than damn near everything. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E20, we start by talking through the joys of recording issues, missing audio, Bluetooth problems, and the mystery of why some spam calls kill the track and others don't. From there, we get into missing LEGO pieces, memories of Joy, Brooke becoming the cat whisperer, whether cats are useful house tools, overly happy coffee shop workers, and why Green Bean coffee downrange still hits different. We also talk about Robby's otter-like dog Slinky, mowing windows between rainstorms, missing proper thunderstorms, watching for tornadoes from the garage, a wild lightning strike story, giant wasps, mosquito bites, and the important debate of whether you “itch” or “scratch” your leg. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E19, we start with Ian passing his UK driving theory and hazard perception test, including why the hazard section feels odd when you've already been driving for years. We also talk about Kirstie getting back into work, Ian helping out at the Suffolk Show with science activities for kids, and then go off on a run of random movie quotes from Joe Dirt, Anchorman, and Talladega Nights. After that point, Robby's audio track cuts out, but the conversation keeps rolling through spam calls, Brooke possibly becoming a feral cat whisperer, birthday plans, finding a local pub, the weird math behind only needing 33 one-on-one wins to be the last person on Earth, and how Instagram and Facebook somehow feed us completely different kinds of nonsense. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E18, we talk through Robby redoing the Mustang shocks, helping with an oil change, and the never-ending debate between keeping things old-school or upgrading to coilovers. Ian recaps a packed beach day, a failed attempt at metal detecting, and a new tattoo idea involving Ultra Instinct Goku, Ultra Ego Vegeta, anime panels, and space-themed designs. We also get into LEGO side-hustle talk, old friends we should bring onto the podcast, classic car meets, and why the Slingshot might be too damn fun to sell. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E17, we get into Ian forgetting to charge his smoke setup, Robby dodging another day of work, and the questionable origins of drinking beer from a boot. From there, we debate breaded versus naked wings, talk beard maintenance in the heat, check in on Ian's mailed package, and spend a healthy amount of time discussing Roxy, Slinky, dog farts, guard-dog behaviour, and why watching dogs crunch through duck heads is apparently entertaining to both of us. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E16, we get into Robby selling off some of his LEGO collection, Ian's house purchase and plans to hammer down the mortgage, and whether a five-pound steak challenge is actually doable. Along the way, Kai drops into the conversation, we talk family life, hard water, housework, legal weed, Ian's productive day at work, Robby's never-ending Mustang repairs, and one fly that refuses to leave him the hell alone. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E15, we kick things off with Robby's garage run-in with a rattlesnake and Slinky's questionable attempt to claim the kill. From there, we get into gas prices and the proposed federal gas tax suspension, remember the freedom of riding bikes everywhere as kids, talk LEGO side hustles, APO shipping restrictions, and finish with an update on Ian's house purchase—and Robby's very subtle message for the current owners. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, we bounce from garage smoke, bong mishaps, and random weekend plans into a surprisingly real conversation about retirement, Social Security, taxes, and whether people should catch a break after working their whole lives. We also get into insurance headaches, hail damage, car plans, mystery construction next door, missed Wing Wednesday, future road trips, and the usual mix of family updates and random bullshit that somehow becomes a full conversation. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E13, we bring on Niko, aka Bean, and get into life after the military, work travel, living out in Georgia, raising ducks, and trying to balance a normal life with expensive car habits. We bounce through gas prices, EV frustration, Supras, GTR dreams, daily drivers, home projects, and the usual random turns into property, animals, retirement plans, and figuring out how much we really want to keep working. It's another laid-back guest episode that feels like old friends catching up and talking shit about life, cars, and everything in between. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E12, we bring on our friend and former coworker John Sweeney for a catch-up on life after the military. We get into retirement not going quite as planned, ending up back in management, running a gym, family plans, VA education benefits, moving after the kids are grown, and the usual random turns into chickens, goats, property taxes, drinking, and “time travel” stories. It's a laid-back guest episode that feels more like old friends catching up than anything formal — which is exactly why it works. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E11, we start off catching up while Robby is making the long drive from Texas to Oregon, talking trucks, tuners, dry lake beds, road fatigue, and the kind of random back-and-forth that comes naturally with us. Around the 10-minute mark, the audio has other plans, so the episode turns into a rougher, more one-sided ride than we intended. It's a little glitchy, a little cut off, but still part of the fun of recording in real time while life is happening. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E10, we bounce from storm weather and tornado watches into dog drama, parking lot stupidity, eyebrow waxing, government surveillance, and the usual completely normal turns our conversations take. We get into Slinky escaping the gate, whether backing into a parking spot needs a blinker, random news and AI rabbit holes, dog breeds, and the kind of off-the-rails back-and-forth that somehow keeps the whole thing moving. It's chaotic, funny, and very much us. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E9, we bounce between storm season, tornado watches, flooded buildings, muddy dogs, and the kind of everyday chaos that somehow turns into a full conversation. We also get into work downtime, mower repairs, overgrown grass, Lego side hustles, whatnot selling, and the weird little routines that make up real life. It's a laid-back episode full of random detours, backyard nonsense, and the usual back-and-forth that keeps us rolling. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E8, we fight through a little technical chaos after part of the audio decides not to cooperate, but we still manage to cover a weirdly solid mix of topics. We get into spam calls, bank rates, random financial thoughts, weather, old memories, Lego builds, editing, backyard wildlife, scrap metal, and the usual side tangents that take on a life of their own. Even with the glitch, it still feels like us — half catching up, half wandering off into whatever comes up next. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E7, we catch up on everything that's changed over the last couple of years — retirement, moving, new jobs, side hustles, and the weird turns life has taken since the first run of the podcast. From there, we drift into house drama, Bush League updates, the legendary backyard phallus, suspicious headlines, insider trading talk, and a few conspiracy-leaning rabbit holes that take the conversation in exactly the direction you'd expect from us. It's part life update, part chaos, and part “how the hell did we get here?” in the best way. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E6, we get into gas prices, oil drilling, and the kind of everyday stuff that makes you wonder why everything has to cost so damn much. We also talk through a possible update on the house situation, react to the UK's tobacco crackdown, and somehow end up bouncing into Lego, burgers, English food, and the usual random side roads along the way. It's another episode full of real-life frustration, off-the-cuff opinions, and the kind of back-and-forth that never stays on one subject for long. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E5, we bounce between everyday chaos and current events as we talk about journaling, runaway dogs, work frustrations, suspicious headlines, retirement age debates, and the random stuff that always seems to find its way into the conversation. We also get into burgers, wings, mustache maintenance, and the kind of side tangents that somehow make perfect sense for us. It's another laid-back episode full of unfiltered conversation, real-life venting, and the usual back-and-forth that keeps everything loose and entertaining. Support the show

Send us Fan Mail In S2E4, we dive into a brutally frustrating house-buying setback after a seller pulls out late in the process hoping for more money. From there, the conversation shifts into everything from long commutes and daily routines to current headlines, conspiracy-adjacent questions, cancer research, ancient dental work, and the growing importance of Robby's now-legendary notepad. It's part vent session, part random news breakdown, and part the usual banter. Support the show

Send us Fan MailS2E3 is another laid-back, off-the-rails conversation as we bounce through babysitting chaos, dogs being dogs, podcast plans, metal detecting finds, work frustrations, random weather talk, Lego obsession, and an unexpected debate about Fight Club. It's the usual mix of sarcasm, stories, and completely unplanned tangents that somehow all work together. Support the show

Send us Fan MailSeason 2 is here. After nearly two years away, Two Assholes in a Mic is back and finding its groove again. We return with the same off-the-rails chemistry, but with a slightly new direction — more current events, more live content, possible guest appearances, and the same random tangents that made the show what it is. Same same, but different. Support the show

Send us Fan MailS2E2: Purgatory starts with the idea that life can feel like some kind of punishment zone, then spirals into the kind of conversation that makes the title make even more sense — work frustrations, aging, dogs, random everyday annoyances, Lego cities, weird memories, and thoughts about time travel and déjà vu. It's unfiltered, funny, and relatable in the way real conversations usually are: one topic turns into ten others, but the thread running through it all is that strange feeling of being stuck somewhere between chaos and comedy. 

In this episode we bring on an old co-worker, Dean Couch.  Dean spent 22 years in the service and finished out his career as the Senior Enlisted Leader of his unit.  We all discuss different aspects of our careers.  From being young Airman to being the leaders we hoped to be.   It's not as easy as it seems.  There are certain traits that you took from the leaders and some traits that you stayed away from all to be the best leader you could.What are some things that make you a good leader.  Shoot us an email at twoaholesandamic@gmail.com with your leadership stories.

It's been a little while since we recorded an episode.  Life gets busy and we get caught up.  But while you guys were patiently waiting, we both have been dealing with every day stressors.  This episode was good for us both to just talk.  Some times that's all we need.  It's a perfect duo as we both play our roles on the podcast.   Find out what helps on your journey to just relieve some stress.  As said before, it's going to be different for everyone.  Hell, maybe listening to us is that, haha!  If it helps, spread the word.

In this episode we bring our kids in to the mix and ask them some questions.  What are we known for?  If you could make any sandwich what would it be?  What do we do for work?  Where did I meet your mom?  All around a fun podcast.  You never know what kids will say!

In this episode, we bring back some would you rather questions.  As Robby works through sickness, he gives some insight as to why he chose some of the answers he did.  Would you rather stay on earth or go live on mars?  Have invisibility or super strength?  Travel or eat for free for the rest of your life?  Breath under water or in space?  These are just some of the questions asked.  It's fun sometimes to just sit and wonder, what would I rather do?

Nothing special in this episode as we catch up a little over a short break.  Ian went away to Germany on business.  He was able to get the rental up to 131mph while on the autobahn. and binge watched 40 episode of Stargate: Universe again just to get mad that the show was cancelled.  TV shows is how the rest of the episode went.  We spoke about more cancelled shows as well as some good TV shows that we watch.  Firefly, Teranove, The Lincoln Lawyer, In the Dark, Manifest, Flash, Green Arrow and Superwoman are some of the shows talked about.  This leads in to both of us crushing over Henry Cavill.What are some of y'alls favorite shows?

In this episode, Robby and Ian just shoot the shit with no agenda.  After a few attempts to record this week, they finally got around to it.  Ian finished up his trip to Georgia and Robby tried to sell some more cars.  Robby re-lives his near death experience when he was almost killed by the orange slice in his blue moon.  Ian has a sudden fit of rage as he explains the distrust for those that un-do their belts, buttons and zipper to take a piss!  Ian gets call a Bag of Douche once again as they both reminisce about their time in Japan and Robby talks about his soul stealing abilities.  Robby mentions some ideas of how to expand on Willowford if one of his kids moves out.  That led into the topic of working in high school and how we thought we were loaded!

In this episode, we break back in to some conspiracy theories.  We also figured out how to live stream on our Facebook page, Two A Holes and a Mic.  Now we are no conspiracy theorists, we just talk about some that we came across online.  Is the Earth Flat?  Is the government controlling our minds with chemtrails?  Or are they controlling our minds by implanting 5G chip in us and calling it a COVID Vaccine?  What do you think about the JFK Assassination?  If you think he was assassinated so reptiles can start running the government, you're probably not alone!  Not a conspiracy theory, but what are your thoughts on the Butterfly Effect?