POPULARITY
5 episodes with ruptured
2 episodes with ruptured
2 episodes with ruptured
3 episodes with ruptured
2 episodes with ruptured
2 episodes with ruptured
2 episodes with ruptured
2 episodes with ruptured
3 episodes with ruptured
Should we be making our children apologise when they do the wrong thing? What does a sincere apology look like? In this episode: Parental Guidance (S1): “Forcing children to apologise is teaching children to lie” Victim mentality People pleasing Ruptured relationships The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson Motivation Continuum - extrinsic, introjected, identified, integrated, intrinsic Is It Wrong to Tell Kids to Apologize? | The Atlantic Theory of Mind Why do children apologise under coercion? Feeling seen, heard, and valued Repairing relationships Why don't kids want to apologise? 4 components of a sincere apology Related links: Should we Force our Children to Say 'Sorry' Carrots & Sticks: How Rewards and Punishments Hurt Our Kids, and What to do Instead [Webinar] Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
What began as a stroke alert turned into a different kind of emergency: aortic dissection. Today's patient case study follows a series of clinical decisions that saved an elderly man from a fatal misdiagnosis. Christian Guzman APRN walks us through the case — from the patient's misleading symptoms to the diagnostic tests that showed something more was going on.We dive into the anatomy, pathophysiology, and clinical signs of aortic dissection, including how the location of tears changes the presentation of symptoms. From emergency treatment strategies to post-op care, you'll learn how to navigate the nuances of managing this complex condition!Topics discussed in this episode:Patient's initial presentationSymptoms of aortic dissection and diagnostic imagingBilateral blood pressure and perfusion checksAortic dissection vs. aortic aneurysmWhy symptoms vary so widelyBedside assessment and monitoringTreatment priorities and pain managementPost-op care and long-term complicationsMentioned in this episode:AND If you are planning to sit for your CCRN and would like to take the Critical Care Academy CCRN prep course you can visit https://www.ccrnacademy.com and use coupon code RAPID10 to get 10% off the cost of the course!Join me at NTI 2025 May 19th-21st in New Orleans!You can learn more and get registered here: www.aacn.org/25-nti CONNECT
One minute she was the nurse—then she became the emergency. Today, Shenell RN of the All One Nurse podcast shares her story of a ruptured ectopic pregnancy that sent her into emergency surgery on shift — and the second ectopic pregnancy that followed just a year later.We talk through the symptoms she felt that day, how methotrexate treatment impacted her recovery, and the range of symptoms that can make it hard to tell what's really going on. Shenell also opens up about the emotional toll of pregnancy loss, her journey to have her rainbow baby, and how her experience gave her deeper insight into the kind of support patients really need.This episode is a firsthand account of what compassionate care really looks like—and how nurses can better support patients during reproductive emergencies.Topics discussed in this episode:The importance of self-care for nursesHow her experience changed her approach to patient careFirst ectopic pregnancy and emergency surgeryEmotional aftermath and physical recovery Methotrexate treatment for her second ectopic pregnancyHow to support patients through pregnancy lossPatient education and communication tipsWhen patients need to seek careConceiving after ectopic pregnancyConnect with Shenell RN:https://www.instagram.com/allonenurse_shenell/Listen to the All One Nurse Podcast featuring Sarah Lorenzini:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/navigating-rapid-response-nursing-with-sarah-lorenzini/id1755700754?i=1000693458288Mentioned in this episode:NTI 2025 is in New Orleans May 19th-21st!If you want to learn more about NTI, you can see all that NTI has to offer and get registered here: http://www.aacn.org/25-nti CONNECT
Learn more about St. Michael's at www.st-michaels.org.
In this episode Rebecca shares the birth story of her first baby- a beautiful hospital. During her pregnancy she had emergency surgery to remove her appendix which was success yet she shares about how hard it was emotionally on her at only 20 weeks pregnant to have an abdominal surgery.____________________If you enjoyed this episode please subscribe and share with your mama friends!wanna be on the podcast? https://www.whatthebumpclt.com/podcast connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthebumpclt our website / blog:www.whatthebumpclt.com
Your hosts speak with Jessica A. McMinn about The Ruptured Sky, the first novel in her debut fantasy quartet. They talk about worldbuilding, asshole mentors, duty, and consequences.Find more from Jessica:https://jessicaamcminn.com/ https://bsky.app/profile/jessicaamcminn.bsky.socialFind us on Discord / Support us on PatreonThanks to the following musicians for the use of their songs:- Amarià for the use of “Sérénade à Notre Dame de Paris”- Josh Woodward for the use of “Electric Sunrise”Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
Cheo Rose-Washington had an accident that ruptured his knee cap tendons. Then a medical miscommunication between healthcare providers led to him rupturing those same tendons again! That experience led to him deciding to try to do something to improve medical “hand-offs” (the sharing of a patient's information and status from one healthcare provider to another). Hand-off mistakes are due to a range of communication problems. Cheo founded the company Hand-off to try to fix this all-too-common problem. We talk about: How it felt to experience such a serious mistake; the common types of miscommunications and misunderstandings that happen in faulty hand-offs; what Cheo is doing with his startup. Learn more and sign up for a premium subscription at PeopleWhoReadPeople.com.
SPORTS: Tolentino diagnosed with ruptured appendix | Jan. 23, 2025Visit our website at https://www.manilatimes.netFollow us:Facebook - https://tmt.ph/facebookInstagram - https://tmt.ph/instagramTwitter - https://tmt.ph/twitterDailyMotion - https://tmt.ph/dailymotionSubscribe to our Digital Edition - https://tmt.ph/digitalSign up to our newsletters: https://tmt.ph/newslettersCheck out our Podcasts:Spotify - https://tmt.ph/spotifyApple Podcasts - https://tmt.ph/applepodcastsAmazon Music - https://tmt.ph/amazonmusicDeezer: https://tmt.ph/deezerStitcher: https://tmt.ph/stitcherTune In: https://tmt.ph/tunein#TheManilaTimes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Near-death experience guest 1201 is Natalie Gaymon, Intuitive Psychic & Evidential Medium, who saw past lives during her NDE experience which we will talk about and more. Natelie's YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@nateliegaymon9670 CONTACT: Email: jeff@jeffmarapodcast.com WEBSITE www.jeffmarapodcast.com SOCIALS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeffmarapodcast/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeffmarapodcast/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/jeffmaraP/ JeffMara does not endorse any of his guests' products or services. The opinions of the guests may or may not reflect the opinions of the host. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jeffrey-s-reynolds/support
A senior constable from Victoria Police has described the horrific and violent encounter he had with an offender earlier in the year.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
NOT GOOD!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Today's episode is the second of our two part series on ruptured AAA repairs. We discuss the case of a 72 year old man with a ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysm that is contained, and who is scheduled for an urgent endovascular repair within the interventional radiology suite with special guest, Dr Lahiru Amaratunge.Apologies for the audio quality in this episode - even though it sounds like we recorded on a submarine, we can assure you we were sitting in our study the entire time. Resources for today's episode:BJAED: Anaesthesia for endovascular repair of ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysmsby K. Berry et al.LITFL: AAA by C. NicksonLancet: Endovascular versus open repair of abdominal aortic aneurysm in 15-years' follow-up of the UK endovascular aneurysm repair trial 1 (EVAR trial 1): a randomised controlled trial by Patel, R. et al.Annals of Surgery: Endovascular Repair of Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm in Patients Physically Ineligible for Open Repair: Very Long-term Follow-up in the EVAR-2 Randomized Controlled Trial by Sweeting, M. et al.Feel free to email us at deepbreathspod@gmail.com if you have any questions, comments or suggestions. We love hearing from you! And don't forget to claim CPD for listening if you are a consultant or fellow. Log us as a learning session which you can find within the knowledge and skills division, and as evidence upload a screenshot of the podcast episode. Thanks for listening, and happy studying!
November 2024 Journal Club Podcast Title: Subtemporal Approach for the Treatment of Ruptured and Unruptured Distal Basilar Artery Aneurysms: Is There a Contemporary Use? To read journal article: https://journals.lww.com/onsonline/fulltext/2024/11000/subtemporal_approach_for_the_treatment_of_ruptured.7.aspx Authors: William Couldwell Guest faculty: Christopher Graffeo Moderator: Helen Shi Committee Co-chair: Kimberly Hoang
Blake Brouillette is Managing Director for Christ in the City, a missionary formation and homeless outreach program in Denver, Colorado.Find out more about Christ in the City: ChristInTheCity.org
Today - in part 1 of our 2 part series - we talk through the case of an 82 year old man with a ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysm who is scheduled for urgent open repair with special guest, Dr Lahiru Amaratunge.Resources for today's episode:BJAED: Anaesthesia for endovascular repair of ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysms by K. Berry et al.LITFL: AAA by C. NicksonLancet: Endovascular versus open repair of abdominal aortic aneurysm in 15-years' follow-up of the UK endovascular aneurysm repair trial 1 (EVAR trial 1): a randomised controlled trial by Patel, R. et al.Annals of Surgery: Endovascular Repair of Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm in Patients Physically Ineligible for Open Repair: Very Long-term Follow-up in the EVAR-2 Randomized Controlled Trial by Sweeting, M. et al.Feel free to email us at deepbreathspod@gmail.com if you have any questions, comments or suggestions. We love hearing from you! And don't forget to claim CPD for listening if you are a consultant or fellow. Log us as a learning session which you can find within the knowledge and skills division, and as evidence upload a screenshot of the podcast episode. Thanks for listening, and happy studying!
Our 'ol buddy 'Chicago Fire' 'And Just Like That' star David Eigenberg joined us to talk-How he RUPTURED his achilles tendon while filming NBC's Chicago Fire-His rehab and missing part of the season-And Just Like That filming with John Corbett-What is Sarah Jessica Parker like -Will they film another season of 'And Just Like That' (he may give it away here) To subscribe to The Pete McMurray Show Podcast just click here
In this weeks MASTER YOUR MEDICS SPECIAL EDITION, Spencer throws Chris a call that requires both clinical prowess and bedside expertise as Spencer hopes to even the odds. VOTE ON OUR INSTA!
In this episode we talk with Khara Croswaite Brindle about her book Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships.We hear about how therapists can prepare to address ruptured mother daughter relationships in a therapeutic space. Whether it is repairing the estrangement or preparing for it, Khara takes us through the cycle of estrangement and offers tools to manage the different stages. We focus on areas such as identifying the cycle, challenges of each stage and how to attend to these in a skilful and therapeutic way. Khara bio:Khara Croswaite Brindle is a licensed mental health therapist in private practice in Denver, Colorado. She holds various roles, including financial therapist, TEDx Speaker, burnout consultant, author, and professor. Her book is Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle (Rowman & Littlefield, July 1, 2023).
Mark and Victor hang out this week to talk about the trip to NAWLINS, rupturing achilles, Guy Fieri, and Dave Grohl.
According to the Bee Foundation for Brain Aneurysm Awareness, an estimated 1 in every 50 people has an unruptured brain aneurysm. One of these aneurysms ruptures every 18 minutes. Ruptured brain aneurysms are fatal in about 40% of cases. Of those who survive, about 66% will suffer some permanent deficit. Another startling statistic is there are almost 500,000 deaths worldwide each year caused by brain aneurysms, and half the victims are younger than 50. This month is Brain Aneurysm Awareness. In this episode of Hilary Topper on Air, I interview Dr. Christopher Kellner, a fantastic neurosurgeon at Mount Sinai Health System Department of Neurosurgery. Full disclosure: Dr. Kellner was my neurosurgeon after discovering an unruptured aneurysm in the back of my head. And he did an amazing job. At my last angiogram, 95% of the aneurysm was gone. So I am truly grateful to him. Here are some questions I asked: · When did you decide to go into neurosurgery? How do you balance the technical demands of neurosurgery with the emotional and psychological needs of your patients? · How do you build trust and a strong doctor-patient relationship, especially when dealing with life-altering diagnoses? · With many conditions like aneurysms and vascular malformations not always requiring surgery, how do you approach the decision-making process with patients and their families? · How do you personally handle setbacks from a patient? · How do you handle (juggle) the demands of your job with raising your own family? · Dr. Kellner, back to you. Thank you and the Mount Sinai Health System Department of Neurosurgery for sponsoring The Lori Weiss Memorial Fun Run/Walk on September 14th. This is supporting The Bee Foundation. · How do events like the run/walk contribute to raising awareness and funding for neurosurgery research and patient care? · Reflecting on your journey, what has been the most rewarding aspect of your career as a neurosurgeon so far? · Finally, what is the one message you hope every patient takes away after working with you, regardless of their diagnosis or treatment? · Special thanks to our show sponsors: The Russo Law Group, P.C. - Long Island's Signature Estate Planning, Elder Law and Special Needs law firm. For additional info visit vjrussolaw.com. And Buddha Bath - a natural bath and body care company. For more info visit buddhabath.net. And last but not least, I'd like to thank our listeners for tuning in.
Should we be making our children apologise when they do the wrong thing? What does a sincere apology look like? In this episode: Parental Guidance (S1): “Forcing children to apologise is teaching children to lie” Victim mentality People pleasing Ruptured relationships The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson Motivation Continuum - extrinsic, introjected, identified, integrated, intrinsic Is It Wrong to Tell Kids to Apologize? | The Atlantic Theory of Mind Why do children apologise under coercion? Feeling seen, heard, and valued Repairing relationships Why don't kids want to apologise? 4 components of a sincere apology Related links: Should we Force our Children to Say 'Sorry' Carrots & Sticks: How Rewards and Punishments Hurt Our Kids, and What to do Instead [Webinar] Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids' ‘Print & Play' subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Air Date - 09 July 2024Croswaite Brindle examines the challenges and needs of adult daughters navigating the immensely difficult and defining event of estranging from their mother. In this deep dive, you'll learn the ripple effects of mother-daughter estrangement, assumptions about estrangement that need to be dispelled and so much more.About the Guest:Khara Croswaite Brindle is a licensed mental health therapist in private practice in Denver, Colorado. She holds various roles, including financial therapist, TEDx Speaker, burnout consultant, author, and professor.Her new book is Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle (Rowman & Littlefield, July 1, 2023). Access therapeutic tools for adult children at www.estrangementenergycycle.com.Social Media:Website: https://www.estrangementenergycycle.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/croswaitecounselingpllcInstagram: @kharacroswaite#KharaCroswaiteBrindle #InspiredConversations #LindaJoy #Women #SelfHelp #Mindfulness #Lifestyle #InterviewsVisit the Inspired Conversations Show Page https://omtimes.com/iom/shows/inspired-conversationsConnect with Linda Joy https://linda-joy.com/Subscribe to our Newsletter https://omtimes.com/subscribe-omtimes-magazine/Connect with OMTimes on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Omtimes.Magazine/ and OMTimes Radio https://www.facebook.com/ConsciousRadiowebtv.OMTimes/Twitter: https://twitter.com/OmTimes/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/omtimes/Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/2798417/Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/omtimes/
The cranial cruciate [CREW-she-ut] ligament, or CCL, is one of several ligaments that stabilize…
The cranial cruciate [CREW-she-ut] ligament, or CCL, is one of several ligaments that stabilize a dog's knee. When one of these ligaments breaks down — and it's often the CCL...
Heat Button | Ruptured Testicles & Bad Social Media | DUGY Lines | OttaWHAT? | Taco Bell Marathon & Don't Text Hookers | 20 Questions Day 6 | Sit Too Much? Coffee Is The Answer
In today's episode we interviewed Kristyn, who is a mum of two and the president of Homebirth Australia. Kristyn planned to birth her first baby at home with her private midwife. When Kristyn was 36+6 weeks pregnant she went to hospital with pain on her left side. After a long and painful wait, Kristyn's appendix ruptured resulting in an emergency caesarean under general anaesthesia. Kristyn experienced breastfeeding trauma due to the inadequate care she received from staff within the hospital as she wanted to breastfeed whilst her baby was in the NICU. Kristyn recounts her journey through the heartbreak of an ectopic pregnancy during her second conception. After a year of trying, Kristyn conceived again and gave birth to her second baby (HBAC) in the comfort of her own home. Kristyn's links:Homebirth Australia Website Homebirth Australia Instagram Kristyn's Instagram Links:Big Babies - Midwife ThinkingInduction for Big Babies - Dr Sara WickhamMisconceptions by Naomi WolfBirth with Confidence by Rhea Dempsey Support the Show.@homebirthstoriesaustralia Support the show by buying us a coffee! Please be advised that this podcast may contain explicit language. Listener discretion is advised.The information, statistics, and research presented in this podcast are for informational purposes only and are not intended to constitute or replace medical or midwifery advice. All information discussed can be found online and is provided in the links in the show notes. It is always recommended to conduct your own research and make informed decisions. We advise you to discuss any topics or concerns with your healthcare provider. While we strive to incorporate the most up-to-date research in our episodes, we do not warrant or guarantee the accuracy of the information discussed on the show.
No the title of this episode has nothing to do with the episode.. It was just a funny convo we had while prepping. Pretty laid back episode this week. We had fun as always. ENJOY 5/31/2024
Did you know about the impressive records 'The Icon' Sting currently holds? Gareth Morgan presents 12 Things You Didn't Know About Sting...ENJOY!Follow us on Twitter:@GMorgan04@WhatCultureWWEFor more awesome content, check out: whatculture.com/wwe Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Khara Croswaite Brindle joins me to talk about her book, Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey Through the Estrangement Energy Cycle. One point Khara stresses is the concept of Acknowledgement, followed by Apology, and then Action.You can learn more about her work and the book here: https://croswaitecounselingpllc.com/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.
Sup folks I'm out this week. I'll catch you next week on the next podcast.
Connect with Dr Rankin : https://davidrankinmd.com/dr-rankin-1 @DavidRankinMD 0:00 Intro 2:00 It is not a life time device 3:30 Skin tightening 4:15 Consider your options 4:45 Holistic approach 5:15 Silicone implants 7:05 Microchip technology 8:15 What is breast implang illness 9:25 Warning on breast Implant illness 9:40 Education on implants 10:25 Ruptured implants 11:40 Healing 12:40 Patient journey 14:00 Breast feeding 19:10 Symtoms 21:00 Snow ball effect 23:40 Expectations 24:35 Waiting list
Not Just a Chiropractor for Stamford, Darien, Norwalk and New Canaan
https://darienchiropractor.com/herniated-discs/https://youtu.be/hS5I_ZfPQEA (watch this video for more info)If you've been grappling with back discomfort, you may be contemplating whether a bulging disc or a herniated disc is causing your back or neck pain. A bulging disc hints at a minor extension beyond its usual limits and can cause painful spinal nerve irritation. A herniated disc involves the inner core of the disc pushing through a tear in the outer layer, potentially causing pain, numbness, or weakness. The distinction between these conditions could be the key to addressing your spinal health concerns effectively. Herniated discs cause more severe symptoms than bulging discs. Bulging discs involve minor aches and pain, while herniated discs present as more debilitating serious pain. Herniated discs cause radiating pain, numbness, or weakness. This can often lead to surgical intervention in serious cases. Are you sleeping with a bulging or herniated disc? Disc problems will prevent restful sleep. A slipped disc in the neck can cause you to lose restful sleep. A herniated disc in the back can prevent you from getting out of bed due to intense pain. What you should know is that conservative chiropractic care from Core Health Darien will help. Dr. Mc Kay was one of the first chiropractic clinics to offer non-surgical spinal decompression to treat bulging and herniated discs. Stay on for a special offer from Core Health and Dr. McKay, You will be able to try spinal decompression and feel the tremendous pain-relief immediately 203-656-3636This podcast welcomes your feedback here are several ways to reach out to me. If you have a topic you would like to hear about send me a message. I appreciate your listening. Dr. Brian Mc Kayhttps://twitter.com/DarienChiro/https://www.facebook.com/ChiropractorBrianMckayhttps://chiropractor-darien-dr-brian-mckay.business.sitehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-just-chiropractor-for-stamford-darien-norwalk-new/id1503674397?uo=4Core Health Darien-Dr.Brian Mc Kay 551 Post RoadDarien CT 06820203-656-363641.0833695 -73.46652073GMP+87 Darien, Connecticuthttps://youtu.be/WpA__dDF0O041.0834196 -73.46423349999999https://darienchiropractor.comhttps://darienchiropractor.com/darien/darien-ct-understanding-pain/Find us on Social Mediahttps://chiropractor-darien-dr-brian-mckay.business.site https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNHc0Hn85Iiet56oGUpX8rwhttps://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1nJ9wlvg2Tne8257paDkkIBEyIz-oZZYy/edit#gid=517721981https://goo.gl/maps/js6hGWvcwHKBGCZ88https://www.youtube.com/my_videos?o=Uhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/darienchiropractorhttps://www.facebook.com/ChiropractorBrianMckayhttps://sites.google.com/view/corehealthdarien/https://sites.google.com/view/corehealthdarien/home
E347– Inner Voice – A Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan. In this episode, Dr. Foojan Zeine chats with Khara Croswaite Brindle, a licensed mental health therapist in a private practice in Denver, Colorado. She holds various roles, including financial therapist, TEDx Speaker, burnout consultant, author, and professor. Her new book is Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle. Access therapeutic tools for adult daughters at estrangementenergycycle.com. You may also check out her children's book - Penny McGee's Family Tree: Talking to kids about family estrangement. https://a.co/d/8vdTmzU. Check out Khara at https://croswaitecounselingpllc.com. We explored what creates issues between mothers and daughters and how they can heal through letting go and connecting. The Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan Podcast has been selected as the #1 top podcast at FeedSpot 20 Best California Mental Health Podcasts https://podcasts.feedspot.com/california_mental_health_podcasts/ Check out my website: www.FoojanZeine.com, www.AwarenessIntegration.com, www.Foojan.com
"I've learned so much in this whole process. It's like you have a depth inside of you that resurrects as an advocate and high alert, and it lives inside of you when you need it." -Aspen, Willa's Mom In this episode of Child Life On Call, host Katie Taylor and guest Aspen share an intense and educational journey through pediatric appendicitis. Aspen recounts her daughter Willa's sudden illness, misdiagnosis, and the emotional rollercoaster of a ruptured appendix leading to urgent surgery. This story not only highlights the challenges and nuances of navigating pediatric healthcare, but also underscores the importance of parental intuition and the vital role of child life specialists in supporting both children and their families during medical crises. Katie and Aspen dive into topics such as parental intuition, medical advocacy, and the impact child life can make. Aspen's experience stresses the importance of trusting your parental instincts when you feel the medical assessments are overlooking the correct diagnosis. The conversation also discusses the significant positive impact of child life specialists in managing a child's anxiety and discomfort through creative and empathetic interventions, as well as the emotional toll on parents and the necessity of finding support during a child's medical emergency. "I wish I would have pressed harder to say, let's just do a scan. What's the worst thing that's gonna happen? Aspen, Willa's Mom The resources mentioned in this episode are: Child Life On Call: Access comprehensive guides and support for parents and healthcare providers on Child Life On Call. Hospital Playrooms: The therapeutic benefits of play, the use of hospital playrooms to aid recovery and normalcy for hospitalized children. Read more about creating a comfortable and child-friendly environment in medical facilities here Preparation Books: The importance of specialized books for children undergoing medical procedures to help them understand and cope with their experiences. Engage with us on Instagram @ChildLifeOnCall for more stories from parents and practical tips. Check out our Amazon storefront for recommended products that support your child's development. Interested in enhancing your organization's pediatric care? Request a demo of the Child Life On Call app today! About Katie Taylor, CCLS and Child Life On Call: Katie Taylor is the co-founder and CEO of Child Life On Call, a digital platform revolutionizing pediatric healthcare by putting parents at the center of the medical journey. With over 13 years of experience as a certified child life specialist, Katie has made significant contributions to the field of child life and the families she's served with over a decade of working at the bedside. She is an accomplished author, engaging child life and entrepreneurship speaker, and the Child Life On Call Podcast host. Katie's work emphasizes the vital role of child life services in supporting caregivers and enhancing children's medical journeys. Learn 6 Positions to Help Kids Feel Comfortable and Safe During Procedures Instagram | LinkedIn | Amazon
Do you struggle with your relationship with your mother? Today, I'm talking to Khara Crosswaite Brindle. We explored mother-daughter estrangement and the process of healing from toxic relationships. We discussed her book on ruptured mother-daughter bonds and the common cycle of estrangement that includes questioning the relationship, potential relationship ruptures, and stages of grief, self-discovery, and redefining self-worth. We both shared personal experiences of emotionally unavailable mothers and the impact this had on their sense of self. They described struggles with people-pleasing, perfectionism, and boundary-setting due to a lack of modeling in childhood. Questions I asked: o Where about do you live on the planet? o Do you go to the gym now? o What brought you into talking about Mother Daughter estrangement? o What assumptions about estrangement need to be dispelled? o What social stigmas are attached to this mother daughter estrangement? o What would you speak to women today that have gone through something like that? So they can understand their value? o How does one put boundaries in place when I may not even know what they should be? o How do you realize you're worthy of these boundaries? o What's what would you say, separates these stages in the parental estrangement experience? o What separates the stages in the parental estrangement experience according to Kara's model? o What social stigmas are attached to mother-daughter estrangement? o What would you tell women today who have gone through abandonment by their mothers to help them understand their value? o How do people stop people-pleasing to your own detriment? o What is the name of Kara's book and where can people find it? Topics Discussed: - Mother-daughter estrangement and the estrangement cycle - Impacts of emotionally unavailable, narcissistic, and abusive mothers - Intergenerational patterns of trauma and their effects - Struggles with self-worth, perfectionism, people-pleasing due to childhood experiences - Grieving the loss of an idealized mother-daughter relationship - Stages of healing from estrangement, including grief, self-discovery, and redefining self-worth - Importance of setting boundaries and distinguishing emotional vs. physical estrangement - Societal pressures and stigma surrounding estrangement decisions - Role of community and therapy in healing from childhood trauma - Insights and strategies shared from Kara Cross's book on ruptured mother-daughter relationships Quotes from the show: · “No daughter that I've worked with was like, this is fun for me. In fact, they're usually in grief and loss, they're usually in pain.” @optivida @SisterhoodSweat · “This book felt like a love letter to adult daughters who didn't feel the same. @optivida @SisterhoodSweat · “Most of the people I work with are women of all different backgrounds, all the way from like 19 years old to like 65.” @optivida @SisterhoodSweat · “I was noticing a pattern where these women would come in with trauma, but they'd also have other relationship stressors, and life stuff.” @optivida @SisterhoodSweat How you can stay in touch with Khara: · Schedule with me for a Professional Consultation or Discovery Call · Am I a Perfectioneur? A Quiz! · Grow Your Business with Perfectioneur Pointers · Ready for the Perfectioneur Workbook? · Join the Perfectioneur community! · Khara is author of Amazon #1 Best Seller Perfectioneur: From Workaholic to Well-Balanced and co-author of The Empowerment Model of Clinical Supervision available at Amazon.com · All services: croswaitecounselingpllc.com How you can stay in touch with Linda: Website Facebook Twitter Instagram Pinterest YouTube SoundCloud "Proud Sponsors of the Sisterhood of S.W.E.A.T" Essential Formulas
Are you interested in healing your past? In this episode I talk with Khara Croswaite Brindle is a licensed mental health therapist in private practice in in Denver, Colorado. She holds various roles, including financial therapist, TEDx Speaker, burnout consultant, author, and professor. Her new book is Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle. She discussed the common stages and experiences of estrangement, including questioning the relationship, confronting the parent, and potentially experiencing a rupture. She explained how estrangement is a difficult process rather than an impulsive decision. The interviewees also shared personal stories of struggling to gain approval from their mothers and dealing with the lasting impacts. Overall, the episode provided validation for adult daughters experiencing estrangement and explored how to heal from a damaged mother-daughter relationship. Questions I asked: · What brought you into talking about Mother Daughter estrangement as a topic? · What would you say some people's assumptions about estrangement need to be dispelled? · What separates these stages in the parental estrangement experience? · What would you say, separates these stages in the parental estrangement experience? · What would you speak to women today that have gone through something like abandonment by their mother to help them understand their value? · What are the social stigmas attached to this mother daughter estrangement? · What would you say the social stigmas are attached to this mother daughter estrangement? · What assumptions about estrangement need to be dispelled? · Where can people find you online? Topics Discussed: · Validation · Healing · Community · Growth · Hope · Motherhood Quotes from the show: · "Most of the people I work with are women of all different backgrounds, you know, all the way from like 19 years old to like 65 and there seemed to be this pattern that they all had a different, contentious relationship with mom, but they were just trying to heal or fix or make better." @KharaCroswaiteBrindle @SisterhoodSweat · “This book felt like a love letter to adult daughters who didn't feel seen.” @KharaCroswaiteBrindle @SisterhoodSweat · “I would say pick up the book and read these nine women's stories that might also bring some heart into it” @KharaCroswaiteBrindle @SisterhoodSweat · “There's hope there's, you know, there's a possibility that I'm not going to be in this feeling forever.” @KharaCroswaiteBrindle @SisterhoodSweat How you can stay in touch with Khara Croswaite Brindle: · https://www.estrangementenergycycle.com/ · The Burden of Busyness · Schedule with me for a Professional Consultation or Discovery Call · Am I a Perfectioneur? A Quiz! · Grow Your Business with Perfectioneur Pointers · Ready for the Perfectioneur Workbook? · Join the Perfectioneur community! How you can stay in touch with Linda: Website Facebook Twitter Instagram Pinterest YouTube SoundCloud "Proud Sponsors of the Sisterhood of S.W.E.A.T" Essential Formulas
When the bond between a mother and daughter fractures, the emotional fallout can resonate through every aspect of life. Hilary Russo guides this raw and enlightening conversation with celebrated family therapist Khara Croswaite Brindle, author of "Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships,” and peels back the layers of this deeply personal issue. During this intimate conversation, Hilary and Khara unravel the tangled reasons behind daughters distancing themselves from their mothers, from toxic dynamics to ancestral traumas. Addressing the societal stigmas that often accompany the decision to step back, we shed light on the importance of setting boundaries for emotional health, and how the decision to create distance is rarely taken lightly, but often a necessary step in preserving one's well-being. Touched, moved, or inspired by this conversation? Consider sharing it with someone you know and leave a rating/review wherever you are tuning in. Connect with Khara and grab a copy of her books: https://www.estrangementenergycycle.com/ https://www.facebook.com/croswaitecounselingpllc https://www.linkedin.com/in/kharacroswaite/ https://www.instagram.com/kharacroswaite/ Connect with Hilary: https://www.instagram.com/hilaryrusso https://www.youtube.com/hilaryrusso https://www.facebook.com/hilisticallyspeaking https://twitter.com/HilaryRusso https://www.tiktok.com/@hilisticallyspeaking https://www.hilaryrusso.com/podcast Music by Lipbone Redding https://lipbone.com/ --------- EPISODE CHAPTERS WITH SHORT KEY POINTS --------- (0:00:00) - The Rise of Mother-Daughter Estrangement Therapy, abuse, trauma, and generational trauma influence the rising trend of estrangement in mother-daughter relationships. (0:04:32) - Understanding and Navigating Family Estrangement Family estrangement's multigenerational impact, forms of distance, setting boundaries, therapy for affected family members, maintaining emotional well-being. (0:13:54) - Understanding the Estrangement Energy Cycle The emotional journey of adult daughters dealing with ruptured mother-daughter relationships and how educators can support children experiencing family estrangement. (0:22:16) - Healing Estranged Mother-Daughter Relationships Nature's complexities of mother-daughter estrangement, generational trauma, and attachment styles, and the value of therapy and coaching for healing. (0:28:09) - Understanding Mother-Daughter Estrangement and Healing Healing and reconciliation between estranged mothers and daughters, with emphasis on individual journeys and the importance of mutual effort. (0:36:16) - Understanding and Healing Mother-Daughter Estrangement Healing estranged mother-daughter relationships, prioritizing mental health, and using self-regulation tools like Havening for self-empowerment. --------- EPISODE TRANSCRIPT --------- 0:00:00 - Khara Croswaite Brindle I think a lot of people are now talking about it. I think it's always been happening, but maybe we're seeing an uptick because people have are going to therapy, they have language for it. Now they're looking at this from the lens of abuse and trauma and that's justifying some of the rupture, the distance between parents and their children. 0:00:18 - Hilary Russo One in 12. One in 12 people my friends are estranged from a family member and it's a choice that can be very challenging for many. But when you do the inner work, when you create the space for healthier relationships and for a better understanding of self, it really can pave the way for a new you. And when it comes to mother and daughter estrangement especially where there's been possibly repeated trauma, discomfort, pain, misunderstanding even a daughter's choice to cut her ties from her mother can come with so much emotion and still much pain in the healing process. Khara Crosswaight Brindle is a licensed therapist who wrote the book about this very thing understanding ruptured mother-daughter relationships, guiding the adult daughter's healing journey through the estrangement energy cycle. And I have to say, Khara, this is such an important topic because of the clients that I see. There's so much parental child estrangement that I've been seeing more so than probably years ago. I feel like people are coming into their own and I'm really happy you're here to talk about this topic because it is a important one and I know you specifically focus on the mother-daughter in this book specifically, but this is happening with many relationships. So thank you for being here, thank you for sharing your voice and your wisdom, thank you, Hilary. 0:01:48 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Yeah, I'm excited to talk about it. It's on the rise, so let's talk about it. 0:01:53 - Hilary Russo So let us talk about that when we say it's on the rise and we hear numbers like one in 12, one in 12 seems like a pretty big number when you think about in the grand scheme of things, that that could potentially be a real issue. I don't know. When I growing up, you just respected your parents. You took whatever came at you. In a way, you didn't talk back, and I think we're seeing more people now using words like narcissism, parental narcissism it's not just within intimate relationship and gaslighting and manipulation and I'm curious, these terms tend to be buzzwords now too, right? So how do we define the difference between that and really know that? What's my responsibility in all this, and am I in a position where I'm in a toxic relationship that does need severed ties? 0:02:52 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Yeah, I mean I think this is one of the chapters of the book we go through a bunch of assumptions of estrangement and one of them is that therapists are pushing for clients to stop talking to their parents, especially because we have a generation, or now two generations, that are coming into therapy doing their own work and now have a language for what happened right of trauma, abuse, neglect, something happening in that family relationship that led to that rupture. And although it's assumptions because you and I as mental health professionals can say like we're not here to champion estrangement, like we're here to say what's best for the client and like helping them discover for themselves what's best I tackled that assumption as well as like this toxic word and it's funny you named it, you said the word toxic, so I think people are overusing that word, but when it comes to estrangement, maybe it's just now a simple, a simplification for what's happened, like I don't want to go into detail about how painful this estrangement was for my parent, but if I say the word toxic, people will respect that and just look it up from like boundaries, and so I think a lot of people are now talking about it. I think it's always been happening, but maybe we're seeing an uptick because people have are going to therapy, they have language for it. Now they're looking at this from the lens of abuse and trauma and that's justifying some of the rupture, the distance between parents and their children. 0:04:09 - Hilary Russo And there's some other words that we hear a lot as of late, and it's ancestral trauma, generational trauma and going back to the root of your ancestry, and how do you avoid bringing that into this present generation and generations going forward? I've been hearing that a lot and that's something I think I've even battled. I'm like I don't want to bring that into the next generation. 0:04:35 - Khara Croswaite Brindle How do? 0:04:35 - Hilary Russo I stop the trauma right here. 0:04:38 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Absolutely. I'm like, yeah, so in my personal experience, I'm married into a family that has four generations of estrangement and what I noticed because I'm a mental health professional I can see it. I'm not in it. I'm kind of behind it looking at what's going on and it's like now it's been modeled. Now it's modeled that if I have a significant conflict with you I can just cut ties. That's what's been said, is fine, is acceptable in this family, even though there's lots of hardship and lots of grief and loss behind the scenes. They're modeling for the youngest generation, which I'm now a parent of a two-year-old. So I'm very thoughtful to this. I'm like what are we telling that youngest generation about? If it's a conflict that doesn't feel solvable, resolvable, do we just walk away? Do we just say I'm done talking to you, stay out of my life, and so it's not that simple. But I think a lot of people on the outside are just seeing estrangement as this dynamic of I'm mad at you, so I'm not going to talk to you, when this look goes so much deeper as to what's truly going on, from that cellular trauma level to generations, to modeling, to here's neglect and abuse that was happening for that person. 0:05:41 - Hilary Russo Yeah, and the other thing about that is that there's the fine line where, as mental health professionals, our dedication and our loyalty is really to the client or the patient right, but not to tell them what to do, but help them find what works best for them right. It's never telling them, it's never healing them. It's giving them the tools to come to those decisions themselves right. Exactly. But the part of that is some people don't want that person in other lives, and I've seen that a lot. It's like finding that healthy boundary with that person, whereas is there a level of estrangement where it's not they're totally out of your life, but you have healthy boundaries so that they're still in your life. You love this person. It's obviously a tie, but how do you do so in a way that, where it's not impacting your emotional well-being and you can still have someone of a healthy relationship, even at a distance? 0:06:40 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Yeah, and so you're kind of speaking to. We talk about in the book. We talk about physical estrangement versus emotional estrangement. So physical estrangement is what people's heads go to, their minds go to we're not speaking, I've moved away, you don't know anything about my life, we're never seeing each other at holidays or never at family gatherings. It's kind of like a hard stop, like very dramatic sense of there's grief and loss. This feels like a death when we stop talking to that person. Then there's this emotional estrangement, which is that slow burn of like I'm going to start kind of distancing myself, like when I restrict how long I'm talking to you on the phone, how often I call you, how long I stay at that family event. So it creates some of those boundaries you're naming Hillary with. Like I want some distance, but I'm still connected to them, I'm still talking to them. I'm just creating some boundaries around what that looks like. 0:07:28 - Hilary Russo And then you have the other side of it, like other family members who witness that, and I've been in a position where I've had family members who have been estranged or still are, and you so want everybody to get along, you so want to step in and be like, oh gosh, what can I do to help? Even though it's not your place, how do you deal with being the family member who's on the outside looking in and they're the one that wants the piece within everyone? Because I'm sure someone can benefit from this book and pick it up and read it, because maybe there is an estrangement between family members that they love both both of those people. 0:08:07 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Oh, yeah, yeah. And so we have a section in the book that talks about this ripple effect on families and specifically for siblings. This was inspired by my spouse, who's talking to all four of those generations and the family, but none of them are talking, so he's very much the person saying what you've just said. I want everyone to get along, I want to see all of you, I want us in a room together. I miss us as a family, right? So that's very heartfelt For those siblings or loved ones. Some of the strategies are know that this is your agenda, this is your desire, this is your wish, your want of the family. Do you go to your own therapy to process the sadness that you have that your family has been fractured in this way? Is it about not taking sides, not bad mouthing one loved one to the other as you're like oh, I'm siding with mom or I'm siding with sister and this mother daughter example of estrangement. But some other tips of like, it's not up to you to fix it, it's not up for you to convince them to reconcile. Actually, it'll backfire if you do. If you're like just get along, just talk to each other. That creates more damage. But, more importantly, there's this alliance that we have to have, or we feel like we have to have, and I have to choose mom or sister. I cannot be connected to both. And that is where I think doing their own individual therapy is important, because they're feeling caught between and they love both people and they want both people in their lives, but they feel like they can't speak about that person. I can't mention mom to sister and I can't mention sister to mom, and it's just a huge mental energy for them to navigate estrangement this way. 0:09:36 - Hilary Russo Yeah, and it can cause a lot of draining of that energy too. You know you don't want to be put in the middle. You have your own relationship that you need to nurture. You might have your own emotional boundaries or healthy boundaries that you need to set with that person as well, or maybe it's even more than one person, because even like you mentioned your husband having an estrangement from a number of people or has a family that has multiple levels of estrangement. You know being able to support yourself is the most important thing. But you know you also mentioned that there is the trickle down and the ripple effect, especially when it comes to children. Like how do you explain that to a child? Like where's grandma, where's grandpa? Why don't we see them? But we see the other grandparents all the time. We're seeing more of that too. 0:10:21 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Oh yeah, and children are curious Like that's naturally, developmentally appropriate of like where's my grandparent? Here's a social representation of families. My family doesn't look like this. Why is that? So I took this first book that we're talking about and I actually made a children's book in the last two weeks. I actually launched last week. Oh, that's great. 0:10:41 - Hilary Russo Can we get the name of that? 0:10:42 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Yeah, it's called Petty Mickey's Family Tree, talking to kids about a strange one. And so it's a cute little elementary age child book. That's the audience, it's elementary age children and their parents, and it looks at her coming home saying, hey, I have this assignment, this family tree I'm supposed to put together. I'm having some anxiety, I'm having some worry that my tree looks different than the other kids at school and it really just creates modeling of what it looks like for a family member this case of parent to talk to their child and say, like, what's age appropriate? How do I regulate myself to tell my kid just enough information for them to understand what's going on, without parentifying them, without stressing them out? So I actually have like five tips in the back of that book for parents of like I want you to breathe, I want you to be curious about what the question they have. You know, these young children of like four or five year olds are like hey, do they look like me? That might be their only question, versus a word panicking that I have to explain. Hey, this is what my parent did for me to not talk to them. So just talking about what's developmentally appropriate and discussing this arrangement because kids do have questions and this book, hopefully, is going to help that conversation. 0:11:50 - Hilary Russo I love that you mentioned that. I love that you're bringing up like social, emotional learning tools that children can implement. And that's something that I've been trying to work with the kids, more especially with the havening techniques, which gives them a way to self-regulate for self-love, self-care and just find that calm and the chaos you know when the brain is just not really understanding what's going on, especially at that younger age. Right, but giving them ways to self-regulate and you mentioned that words regulate what other things can they do? You mentioned breathing. 0:12:25 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Yeah, I think even just like talking about this ahead of time. So like when parents pick up this book or hear this podcast, can they be like? What would I say if my kid asked why I don't talk to grandma or to uncle or to whoever it is in the family? So just that like preparation of here's what I would say, so it doesn't feel like it's coming from emotion, it's coming from like this grounded. I know what I want to say to my kid and I'm not going to show them that this hurts. I'm going to be regulated so I don't look sad or angry or upset, because kids can feel that right, so we can feel our own stuff, show up and so if we can take a book or think about this ahead of time, then we can feel more prepared to show up neutrally with our kids and then be really like slow and saying what do you really want to know? You know elementary age kids might have one simple question, versus a teenager might be like tell me more, like I want to know what really happened with grandma. So some of those tips are about just like being present for the question. Regulate yourself to breathe, grounding, giving them eye contact, validating their emotions, which is important for kids of like you might feel confused by what I just shared. What other questions do you have? That's another tip of encouraging future questions. They might just be like this was enough for now, but I might have a question for you as my parent six months from now about grandma. So it's not usually a one and done conversation and their parents can look at this. These characters go through this little plot line of the children's book or just look at the back of the book for those five tips. I'm hoping they'll feel more prepared. 0:13:54 - Hilary Russo And this can also be for teachers as well, because something that I was talking with a mutual trauma informed practitioner and also an educator who works with kids about the castle system, and then you know what? What can we do to understand a child's body language and their behavior? That might be changing the in the in the classroom. Educators, teachers, also need to be familiar with this. So I'm sure this book, the child book especially, can be very helpful for teachers as well to understand what's going on at home with with the little ones you know. 0:14:29 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Absolutely, and obviously the child therapists are just like eating it up. They want this in our library of, like, let's do some bibliotherapy, let's talk about this. Is this, is this your family? Like talking to me about your family tree? So I just I'm really hopeful that it's going to fill this gap, because I didn't see any literature out there for kids, and parents are desperate to say how do I not harm them further? How do I not put my stuff on them? How do I keep myself in check while answering their question, and I think this book is a part of that. 0:14:56 - Hilary Russo So let's mention the two books that you have that we're talking about. The first one is Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle. I want to talk about that real quick. And then the other book mentioned the title again so we can let folks know. 0:15:12 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Yeah, it's called Petty McGee's Family Tree. Talking to Kids about Family Estrangement. 0:15:17 - Hilary Russo Wonderful. We're going to put links to both of those in the list of notes of this podcast episode and if you are touched, moved and inspired by this in any way, if you are enjoying this conversation um HIListically Speaking with Khara Croswaite Brindle, please let us know, drop us a line, let us know how we can support you more on this journey. But let us get into the nitty-gritty about the Estrangement Energy Cycle. What does that mean? Can you share? 0:15:41 - Khara Croswaite Brindle that, yeah. So the key word here is energy. Like we've already alluded to, just the thought of estranging from a family member is emotional. It takes energy. A lot of these women are coming into therapy trying to figure out what their next move is, and so the energy word is really speaking to. This might be pre-contemplative, this might be I'm preparing for the worst, and so I'm going through this cycle in my mind, or it could be I'm literally going through these eight stages as I figure out what's happening with mom. Um, so, although the eight stages don't have any particular order, I tend to start talking about it from this awareness of what if I have a realization, as an adult daughter, that this was abusive? Once I have that realization, I can't unsee it right as a woman, and so does that then catapult me into stage two, which is about questioning what do I want to do with this information? Do I want to talk to mom about it? Do I want to broach this with her, bring it up? Do I want to just focus on the relationship now or our future relationship? So if they decide to talk to mom, which a lot of these women feel compelled to do from a place of, I want acknowledgement, I want an apology, I want compassion, I want healing. They might say let's go to mom and talk about it. Worst case scenario depending on how mom responds to this conversation, there could be immense healing that happens of you're right, I made mistakes, I'm so sorry that happened to you, I want to do better, I love you. That'll be the best scenario for going to mom saying, hey, I have this awareness now. Worst case scenario mom gets defensive, mom gets angry, mom starts name calling, mom starts pointing fingers, which unfortunately, a lot of these women then came into my therapy practice devastated because they're like, on top of realizing that this was abusive or traumatic, my parent just minimized my experience and so that leads to that relationship rupture right when it's like I don't know if I can do this with mom anymore. If they feel like they want to break that pattern, they might consider a strange man, whether it's physical or emotional strange man. Now I'm like I can't talk to mom. I have to have some control over what's happening in my life, and so it might mean mom's not in it Standably. If we choose a strange one, we go into a grief and loss response. The literature, the research says that it feels like a death because it I mean it has that same emotional pull of like I'm not talking to you, it's like you're not part of my life. Might as well feel like you're dead to me. So for a lot of those women they're coming into therapy at that stage too of like this is devastating, I'm depressed and anxious, I'm in grief. Breathe it From there. They have to start kind of questioning what their identity is Like. What is my self worth without mom? So now is it I have different interests when mom's not weighing in on what I want to do with my life. If mom was maybe overbearing, do I feel like I'm just figuring it out? Who am I without her? What kind of woman am I? What kind of mother am I if I'm a mother, if that's applicable. And then they go into the deeper work, which is, as a therapist, my favorite, because now they're looking at boundaries, other relationships, attachment styles, what's it look like with romantic partners Now that they have this awareness of what's going on with mom? And then, last but not least, is redefining their self worth. So who am I? But, more importantly, where am I headed from here If mom's not a part of my life? Or not reconciling. How do I navigate milestones, holidays, family events you know it's not a joyful thing for these women. It's usually still quite painful, different points of their life where mom should be present and isn't right. So think of like getting married, having a child. Mom is usually a part of that if it's a healthy relationship. So at no point in this cycle is there like hearts and flowers happening for this woman. But maybe she's starting to feel more empowered by the end of I know where I am, I know where I'm headed, even if it's not with mom in my life. So those are kind of the quick overview of those eight stages in the book. 0:19:31 - Hilary Russo It's beautiful. It's beautiful to be able to find yourself in that journey. I mean, you're going to go through, like you said, the stages of grief, but you also are becoming more empowered that for a long time, that daughter could be feeling that everything's her fault you know, or she makes an attempt to reach out and she gets, like you said, she gets very disappointed. She gets disappointment from a defensive parent or mother in this case, right. And then how do you go from there, like you become vulnerable and take that courageous step to reach out? But also, what's responsibility has the daughter had in all this? You know this is not just to put blame on the mother right, it's also what was my responsibility in this. But if a daughter has reached out and has made an attempt and says I'm willing to see the other side, and then all you get back is the upset from the mother, her side not seeing anything, like you said, where do you go from there? 0:20:35 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Yeah, and I mean a lot of these women. What I appreciated about what I'm hearing from people who've read it so far is I put in nine women's stories and we like continue to kind of see their journey on all eight stages. All nine of these women, some of them reconcile, some of them have permanent estrangement from significant abuse and neglect. But I tried to capture, like here are all different types of women that I've worked with over the years that now embody these stages and how emotional each of them are. And so I call out the people pleasing, I call out the perfectionists, I call out the did I do enough? Because of course the adult daughter is thinking that at some stage she is asking herself did I do enough? Did I fight enough for this relationship with mom? Should I have done better? Is there a way I could have won her over? Do I deserve unconditional love? Right, I'm like a real deep into the like emotion of it. So I try to name all of that as, like for these women. There's so much to unpack there. It's not just I got to one stage, it's what am I thinking and feeling at each of those stages? And those stories embody that. 0:21:37 - Hilary Russo And then you have to think about leader in life, when the mother might need to have a caregiver. Like, how do you abandon that parent who has hurt you in some way? Do you come back full circle and say this person's in the last part of their lives? But I also need to have these healthy boundaries so that I'm not impacted in a negative way while I'm trying to be supportive and of service to this person who is needing support. You know I hear that a lot as well. 0:22:08 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Oh, yeah, there's this pressure to reconcile. You know, there's the societal message of you're going to regret this. What if they die suddenly? Right? So I have a whole section in the book of, like community members, what we can say and what we shouldn't say. What is actually more hurtful to this traumatic experience of estrangement for this adult daughter? Because, again, an assumption is that this was easy for her, this was impulsive for her, when really it's like months or years of the process. I have one client that inspired one of these characters in the book that even now, 10 years into her work, she continues every year to question should I reach out to mom this year? Should I talk to mom this year? There's significant trauma there that mom will not own at all, and so it's fascinating how human this is right To say. Am I going to have regrets? Am I going to be sad if I get a call that mom has died? If mom's, you know, going into needing care, how do I show up for her? Should I show up for her? There's so much there and obviously each woman's story is unique as to what they decide. But, yeah, society is definitely saying family first. You're going to regret this, right. So I really try and talk about what we could say differently than that. 0:23:12 - Hilary Russo Yeah, being able to support yourself and know how to nurture yourself in that moment and not find yourself in a place where you're oh, I don't know. I mean, like I said earlier, the gaslighting, the manipulation, any kind of toxicity that might come with words, because suddenly you go back to the inner child, suddenly you can be a five year old, hearing words from that parent and you feel it like you did. If you ever witnessed that before as a child. Speaking of children, do you find that there are some women that have made a choice not to have children because they were scared to have the kind of relationships that they witnessed from generations in the past, like if a mother and a daughter or a grandmother and a mother are not communicating or a sister is not communicating generation before you, suddenly you feel like, well, I'm going to just wind up having the same thing, so I'm not having kids, I'm not entering, I'm not bringing anything into this world, because this trauma is just generational. 0:24:15 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Yeah, oh, absolutely. I mean, we actually tackle that in the book as well as, like, one of the beliefs is what if I'm broken? But what if I pass this on to my kid? What if I become my mother, for better or worse? Right In this lens of worse, I think that's such a natural thought. And then I actually, when I started writing this book, I just give birth to my daughter, and so I was very aware that I was writing about attachment and trauma and healing, as I was also trying to build healthy attachment with my infant daughter. And so many people worry about, you know, especially if they're like, tracking all these things in the family tree. I think of even just medical conditions and mental health conditions of like, oh, am I going to bring that into my child's life? Yeah, it's causing a lot of fear for people of like, what if this gets recreated again? What if this estrangement is possible in another generation? That's valid. 0:25:04 - Hilary Russo Do you talk specifically about attachment styles in the book? 0:25:07 - Khara Croswaite Brindle I do, yep, I talk about the secure, anxious avoidant, disorganized, how that shows up from childhood into adulthood. Absolutely yeah, can't help myself. 0:25:16 - Hilary Russo That's definitely an area you're yeah, no, I get it and it's so interesting, but I think we're seeing more people that are diving into not self therapy, because obviously we need support, especially when we're dealing. We need support especially when we're dealing with trauma. Right, never do trauma work on your own. It's good to have somebody on the outside, like a licensed therapist or somebody in the field, that can support you in that area, to help you get a different perspective on things. But I do find that more people are open to learning new things, just so there's an awareness, so that when they're meeting with their therapist or their practitioner, they have a much more, they're much more aware of what is being shared with them, rather than just sitting across from your therapist or practitioner. And this is how it is right, right? I think, we're becoming our own healthcare advocates. What I'm saying, yeah absolutely, I mean. 0:26:13 - Khara Croswaite Brindle I think that's why, when people are like who's this book for, I say it's for the adult daughters and it's for the clinicians that serve them, Because an adult daughter might pick up this book and say this is my experience. I feel seen by the cycle or some aspect of the book. And then there's 24 tools throughout the book that are things they could do on their own, but also I encourage them to do with their clinician to say am I doing a particular exercise? I call them therapeutic tools, but there are things I would have done with a client in the room to say does this help you in your process? Does this move you from one stage to the next? So those tools are something that those adult daughters could read, do on their own or bring into a supportive environment, whether that's a coach, a therapist, a mentor or a family member, depending on what feels appropriate. 0:26:57 - Hilary Russo And I think we're also seeing that as well. We're seeing more people reaching out and getting coaching, because sometimes it's just like having a sister or a brother or a friend that's there to help you, that is able to see things from the outside, looking in. That isn't personally connected. There's just so much you can lay this on a family member, especially when you might be sitting there complaining to your real sister or your brother or an aunt or somebody about a family member that they already have a connection with and they have a completely different kind of relationship with. That's not helpful to any party. 0:27:32 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Yeah, that bias of like oh I can't be neutral for you, I have my own thoughts. Yeah, this is why they go to someone outside the family. That's pretty typical. 0:27:40 - Hilary Russo Yeah. So let's mention the book again. It's Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships, Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle. And Khara also has another book that is written to support the child and the parent and the teacher. We're going to put both of those in the links to this podcast. But I have a question for you Do you find that there might be mothers that would be open to reading this book? 0:28:09 - Khara Croswaite Brindle I hope so. I mean, I think there are lots of books out there for parents. When I was doing the research on this, getting this book up and running, I found so many books for parents that really spoke to their the will-dermant, their pain, their anger, their outrage that this was happening, which has its value right. They need to feel seen and supported as well. I feel like the mother who's going to pick up this book is someone who's I'm curious to heal. I want to reconcile, I want to work on myself. I want to understand my daughter's perspective. This book might help them with that because it's really written from the eyes of the adult daughter. So if they're feeling a disconnect where they don't understand why adult daughter has made this choice, this could be enlightening, I would hope. 0:28:49 - Hilary Russo And maybe pave the way for a new relationship. 0:28:53 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Absolutely. 0:28:53 - Hilary Russo Or just an evolved relationship. You know it's lovely when we were able to see that. I want to play a quick game with you. Or if there's anything else you want to add. Let me just stop there and say is there anything else about the book you'd like to add, or anything about the Estrangement Energy Cycle? I want to give you the space to share there. 0:29:10 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Yeah. So one other thing to highlight real quick is that we have some morning signs for both mothers and daughters. So off the top of my head it was things like you know, on the daughter side, a lack of boundaries, resentment brewing, that kind of language was in her checklist as adult daughter and then for the mother checklist it was things like are you steamrolling over those boundaries? Are you calling when she said not to call? Are you making demands? Are you feeling like there's friction? Are you getting feedback from the daughter that she's not happy with the relationship? So try to itemize a couple of things that both daughters and mothers could look at and say, hmm, is that true for us? Like, is that something in our life right now? Is that in the relationship right now? Is this an opportunity to discuss and heal and grow? Or is it like a ooh, that's me and I need to go do some work around that professionally with a therapist or coach or mentor or whoever? So by no means is it. You have to have one of them and you're in dire straits. It's more like the more you have on this checklist, the more you probably want to sit and think about what do I want to do with this information? Does it catapult me into a growth place of wanting to heal and change? 0:30:24 - Hilary Russo And sometimes it might just be that the relationship needs to be on that level of some, some estrangement. Maybe you're not as close to that person and that's okay too. I think that's something I really want to put out. There is that if you come to a decision especially after reading this book, which I'm very excited to get the copy in my hand when you're able to make that decision and know that you have the tools that helped you make that decision, and if that choice is that I really need to have some safe boundaries, but I'm still open to possibly the physical strange or the emotional estrangement, but the physical I don't want to not have this person in my life. Whatever you choose to do if it's good for you is the right choice because it's self-first. You have to live your life before anybody else's. So everybody's journey is going to be different and I want to make sure we put that out there to those who are listening, to those who might be watching that your journey is your own. What you choose with the tools that you have is the right choice, as long as it's not hurting you or anybody else. You choose to choose and you know what. You can also make a different choice. If you decide down the line, I'm ready now Be open to that as well. I imagine you agree with that? Yeah? 0:31:52 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Oh yeah, I'm just sitting here thinking about their seasons of our life right, yeah, or there's a season of independence, which is why a lot of our 20-something year olds are thinking about a strange thing, because it almost feels in alignment with independence I'm out of a nest, I'm doing my own thing. You know, the angry teenage part is like don't tell me what to do. That's what I tell my clients. We all have that angry teenage part of stubbornness, like don't tell me what to do. But then maybe I just I realize I'm going to be a mother. Maybe I'm pregnant and I'm like, wow, I really want my mom in my life. How can I have her in my life in a way that's healthy and supportive at that stage or that season of my life? Maybe I'm getting older and she's getting older, and so I think the bright spot for folks who are like man, we're in a strange moment, or one of those one in 12 people. There is research saying that you know, about 80% of these women are reconciling with their mothers. Obviously, we can't speak to like how long that took or what happened to make that possible, but if 80% plus percent of these women are reconciling with their mothers, there is hope that the relationship can change, that the season can change, that most of us in the mental health space are going to say we've got to work on it together. This is where, like family therapy or estrangement specialist is going to come into play, because it's complex and so it might not be as simple as just saying I owe you an apology. It might be we're doing some deep work here to have a healthier relationship, so don't feel like you have to do it on your own. I think that's what I'm saying. 0:33:12 - Hilary Russo Well, that's the other thing. Well, both parties, or any parties involved, have to do their own healing work and growth work. It's very hard to be able to create a space where the two parties are going to come together, when only one party is willing to do the work and the other might be saying well, everything's your fault, you're the one that needs therapy. So think about those things as well. You can only do so much. It is still teamwork. There's still a relationship to consider and a relationship takes more than one person, except the one with yourself. That's the most important one to work on. So, with that being said, I have really enjoyed this conversation. This is so great. I cannot wait to get that book in my hands. You booked this so fast that I haven't gotten the book yet. I'm like I reached out to your publicist. I'm like slam me the book and I want to end with just doing a quick game with you that I do with my guests on the show. I've been writing down some words that are things you've said during this conversation and I want you to come back with the first word that comes to mind. Let's see how Tara's brain is working, oh no. Sometimes I think I should do this at the beginning of the podcast but then I don't have words to use. All right, you ready, I'm ready, okay, alliance. 0:34:37 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Relationships Toxic Parenting. 0:34:41 - Hilary Russo Estrangement, daughter, children, lovable Valderies, therapy, therapy, that's my word. Come back to that chair. 0:34:59 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Champion. 0:35:01 - Hilary Russo And I have to put my glasses on for this last one, because I can't read my own handwriting. Oh, I was trying to write down the name of the character in your book. 0:35:09 - Khara Croswaite Brindle The Children's Book that name, yeah, so Penny McGee's Family Tree Penny McGee. 0:35:15 - Hilary Russo Penny McGee. It's Penny Penny McGee, so what would you? It's two words I'm throwing out at you, but what would you say about? 0:35:21 - Khara Croswaite Brindle that Vulnerability. 0:35:27 - Hilary Russo And isn't that? That's a great way to end this, because starting as a child, understanding these things makes you a more well-rounded adult and, as we've heard from Brittany Brown, vulnerability is courage. 0:35:39 - Khara Croswaite Brindle Right, it is. 0:35:40 - Hilary Russo Yeah, absolutely is. 0:35:42 - Khara Croswaite Brindle There's courage in the conversation. That's my hope. 0:35:44 - Hilary Russo Thank you. There is and being vulnerable to take that step. As long as it doesn't step on your own boundaries and hurt you, it's okay. It's okay to try that as well. Are there any final thoughts you'd like to leave with listeners? 0:35:57 - Khara Croswaite Brindle My hope is it's just gonna speak to the women who felt like they haven't had a voice in this conversation before now. So I'm really grateful that we could talk about adult daughters and what they're going through. As I alluded to, there are lots of books out there for the parents and I definitely recommend a bunch of them, and I wanna make sure these women have a voice too. So thank you for having me on the podcast to talk about it. 0:36:16 - Hilary Russo Okay, my friends, if you or someone you know is facing family estrangement, specifically with a mother-daughter relationship, consider putting Khara's book in your hands or paying it forward. That book, again is called Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle. I added a link to that book, as well as her children's book also, and you can also connect with Khara by visiting her website or her social media. You'll find those links as well. And Khara mentioned the importance of self-regulation tools. There are many. We need to put those little tools in our brain candy jar right and pull them out when we need those the sweetest ways to be kind to our mind. As I always say, Havening could be one of those tools. If you wanna learn how to hug it out, how to put the healing in your own hands, set up a call with me. Let's see if Havening is right for you. HIListically Speaking, is edited by 2 Market Media with music by Lipone Redding and Listen to by you, my listener. So thank you for your continued support. On that note, never forget the importance of healthy boundaries and if you need support, know that there is always help, because the most important relationship is the one with self. I love you, I believe in you and I will see you next week.
We can't stop life from happening, but we can control how we respond when life happens... In this episode, I'm sharing how you are able to still thrive even in times when life dishes you low blows.The key to thriving is simple... listen now to find out.NEWS!New Book: HEAL Girl! is being released on Tuesday, March 5, 2024. Click here to preorder and get your signed copy!Also! Click here to join the mailing list so that you are the first to know when you're able to join us LIVE!Lastly, let us know how this HEAL Girl! series is blessing you. You can connect with us by following us on IG (@iamsimplytiffany) or you can send an email to contact@simplytiffany.netSupport the showStay connected and know when Tiffany is coming to your town by joining Tiffany's mailing list: www.simplytiffany.net For bookings or to share how this podcast is impacting you, email the Simply Tiffany Admin Team at contact@simplytiffany.net Follow on IG: @iamsimplytiffany
Today on the show... Khara Croswaite Brindle is a licensed mental health therapist in private practice in in Denver, Colorado. She holds various roles, including financial therapist, TEDx Speaker, burnout consultant, author, and professor. Her new book is Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle (Rowman & Littlefield, July 1, 2023). You can learn more and access a wealth of tools at estrangementenergycycle.comWith as many as 1 in 12 people being estranged from a family member, Khara shares her experience and knowledge gained assisting several female clients through the stages of estrangement. The choice is a challenging one and typically follows an emotional cycle that eventually lessens the grief and leads the adult daughter to discover a new sense of self. While each individual's journey is unique, therapists, as well as those contemplating or trying to heal from estrangement, can benefit from recognizing the energy cycle of estrangement. Khara talks about the incorrect assumptions that are made about estrangement, the social stigma, how to support someone who is considering or going through estrangement, as well as how to support your children if you are going through the stages of estrangement.PLUS! We have a little time to talk about burnout and how it became something that she now supports others through. A subject that is right up my alley as ending burnout is an antidote to the patriarchy!I continue on once our conversations completes to share some info about the Mother Wound that I came across many years ago. It's a fascinating read and contemplation for anyone out there as we're all contributing to it by participating in the patriarchal structures and systems.Here's the information on the Campaign for Child Care happening in New York State. And here's the article I mentioned about child care in The Cut.Finally, here's the New Moon report. Happy Lunar New Year!Today's show was engineered by Ian Seda from Radiokingston.org.Our show music is from Shana Falana!Feel free to email me, say hello: she@iwantwhatshehas.org** Please: SUBSCRIBE to the pod and leave a REVIEW wherever you are listening, it helps other users FIND IThttp://iwantwhatshehas.org/podcastITUNES | SPOTIFYITUNES: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/i-want-what-she-has/id1451648361?mt=2SPOTIFY:https://open.spotify.com/show/77pmJwS2q9vTywz7Uhiyff?si=G2eYCjLjT3KltgdfA6XXCAFollow:INSTAGRAM * https://www.instagram.com/iwantwhatshehaspodcast/FACEBOOK * https://www.facebook.com/iwantwhatshehaspodcast
We're taking a deeper looking into our Mrs. Flood theory and the idea that current Doctor Who exists within a crumbling universe. Be warned, SPOILERS abound.
Elite climber Amity Warme shares her process, struggles, and learnings as she projected (but hasn't yet sent) one of the hardest trad routes in the world, Cobra Crack. - Amity is a trad and big wall crusher, boasting ground-up ascents of El Nino, El Corazon, Golden Gate, and the Freerider routes of El Cap, plus other hard trad lines such as Book of Hate (13d / 8b) which she recently sent with a fully ruptured A2 pulley. In this conversation we discuss: Why she chose Cobra as her hardest project yet Going from 9 days as her longest project to more than 30 for Cobra Training on the project (and why it didn't work) Sunk Cost Theory, and questioning whether the struggle was worth it The emotional rollercoaster of projecting at her limit Shoe beta The impact of 'micro-underfueling' Sending her hardest routes in the Valley... with a fully ruptured A2 pulley Follow along on Instagram @amity.warme and @thestruggleclimbingshow - BIG THANKS TO THE AMAZING SPONSORS OF THE STRUGGLE: ShayrdAir: Sign up to have Jordan Cannon as your climbing mentor! This in-depth 4-month experience is capped at just 30 climbers. Use code STRUGGLE to score $300 off this incredible mentorship program. SCARPA: Whether you're a climber, trail runner, skier, or hiker, SCARPA offers an array of adventure footwear for the adventure seeker in you. with a commitment to sustainability. Shop the whole collection at SCARPA.com. SCARPA, No Place Too Far. Rodeo Resole: Give your perfectly broken in shoes a fresh edge and some sticky new rubber! Certified for SCARPA, La Sportiva, and Unparallel. Dustin will take great care of you, hit him up at rodeoresole.com or on IG @rodeo_resole - The Struggle is carbon-neutral in partnership with The Honnold Foundation, whose mission is to promote solar energy for a more equitable world. - Want to gain access to BONUS and ad-free episodes, Pro Clinics with the sport's best climbers and coaches, and rad swag? Support the show and the climbers who make it by becoming a member at www.patreon.com/thestruggleclimbingshow - This show is produced and hosted by Ryan Devlin. The Struggle is a proud member of the Plug Tone Audio Collective, a diverse group of the best, most impactful podcasts in the outdoor industry. - The struggle makes us stronger! I hope your training and climbing are going great.
After today's episode, head on over to instagram to hear about the latest giveaway. *All information shared in this podcast episode of for informational and educational purposes only. In this weeks episode, Jessica Fowler interviews Khara Croswaite Brindle about her book Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey Through the Estrangement Cycle. 1 out of 12 people have an estranged family member so this is an important topic. Although this book is written for therapists, Khara did share that she wrote it with adult daughters in mind and recognized they to may pick up this book. We discuss reasons for estrangement and how long it has been around. Khara shared how this book is about how to support a client who is making their own choice towards estrangement. In addition, she discusses the estrangement cycle which includes phases of identifying the abuse, questioning, therapy, a relationship rupture, boundaries and then estrangement if that is what the person decides. Khara shares how she tells the stories of 9 different women throughout the book to share about the estrangement cycle can look and how to support you client. IN THS EPISODE: (1:48) The background about why estrangement might show up in mother daughter relationships (3:15) The estrangement energy cycle (4:43) Grief and loss around the relationship and expectations about what the adult daughter thought the relationship would be (7:08) Ways that therapists can support their clients with 24 theraputic tools listed in the book (8:55) Holding space the for the clients and recognizing it is not their fault (9:30) Who this book was written for (11:00) What community members can do (12:25) How people can be supportive to someone Author: Khara Croswaite Brindle, MA, LPC, ACS, CFT-I is passionate about turning pain points into possibilities for mental health professionals and Financial therapists. She is a TEDx Speaker, Consultant, Licensed Mental Health Therapist, Professor, and Financial Therapist in Colorado. She is originally from the Pacific Northwest and gets her best ideas walking outside and being around water. When Khara's not writing her next book or supporting fellow professional helpers on their own self-discovery journeys, she enjoys spending time with her daughter, reading, and indulging in gluttonous, gluten-free desserts with her family. Khara is the author of 6 books. You can connect with Khara on her campsite link or instagram
FBC Durant, Gerald Tidwell, February 22, 1981. Morning Service.
In this National Adoption Awareness Month special, we hear adoptee Sara Odicio, LSW, of Core of Adoption. She talks about ruptured attachments. We then discuss some of Dr. Bruce D. Perry's research on child attachment and development, and eight ways caretakers can help nurture children who struggle with secure attachments. We reference two articles by Dr. Perry called “Examining child maltreatment through a neurodevelopmental lens: clinical application of the Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics” (2009) and "Bonding and Attachment in Maltreated Children Consequences of Emotional Neglect in Childhood" (2001).For more about how to nurture children experiencing ruptured attachments, and for more information on some of Dr. Perry's work, go to ChildTrama.org and bdperry.com.
Surgical Oncologist, Dr. Sarah Boston, talks about starting a veterinarian's comedy festival, how the American health care system might be better for animals than people, and how being a vet helps her in her stand up comedy. — Want to Learn About Dr. Sarah Boston? Podcast: https://pod.link/1706569339 Book: https://houseofanansi.com/products/lucky-dog Instagram: drsarahboston — To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! knockknockhi@human-content.com Can't get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! – www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken -- We have a special offer for our audience here in the U.S. Learn more at http://www.ekohealth.com/KKH and use code [KNOCK50] for a 75-Day Risk Free Trial + Free Case + Free Shipping to the continental US (to get your CORE 500 Stethoscope). A friendly reminder from the G's and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit EyelidCheck.com for more information. Today's episode is brought to you by the Nuance Dragon Ambient Experience (DAX). It's like having a virtual Jonathan in your pocket. If you would like to learn more about DAX, check out http://nuance.com/discoverDAX and ask your provider for the DAX experience. Produced by Human Content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
On Today’s Show: It’s time for a Best Of Show! Have no worries, I’ll be back later today with your brand new Friday episode to end the week. Sit back, enjoy this crusty old re-run, and I’ll see you in a bit. Important Show Stuff: Call In To The Voicemail Line: 206-666-4463 Support Distorted View […] The post Side Effects Include Ruptured Eyeballs And Organ Calcification first appeared on Distorted View Daily.
On Today’s Show: It’s time for a Best Of Show! Have no worries, I’ll be back later today with your brand new Friday episode to end the week. Sit back, enjoy this crusty old re-run, and I’ll see you in a bit. Important Show Stuff: Call In To The Voicemail Line: 206-666-4463 Support Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page Get Exclusive Episodes EVERY WEEK! Become a member of The Distorted View Sideshow!
Today on KITM, David Waldman andJoan McCarter count down the days until the government shutdown, which if Jim Jordan gets to be House Speaker will be assured, if we make it that far. Ruptured, rudderless Republicans don't really want to go with Jordan, but that seems to be the direction that they are heading. (With their hearts and minds in tow, of course.) Gym isn't the guy Republicans want. He isn't the guy they need. He might not even be the one they get. But they shouldn't expect Democrats toride to their rescue for nothing. Not that they would ask for help, as they are being told that they are winning. If news organizations need help in accurate framing, Greg Dworkin has an opinion to share. (Need a second opinion? How about another one?) President Joe Biden heads to Israel to discuss their war with Gaza. Tagging along with Joe are thousands of US troops and their military equipment... which will doubtlessly be utilized in no way that would endanger anyone or further embroil the United States in any way. Have you heard about how the amount of fentanyl confiscated at the border proves how open our borders are? Well good news! The Virginia National Guard spent $2 million and could not find a single deadly gram on their Texas field trip. First, they came for light bulbs and gas stoves, now our refrigeratormagnets won't work anymore!
Kelsey would title her VBAC story, “When Everything Goes Wrong”. This episode is a must-listen as she shares her VBAC birth after testing positive for Group B Strep.Kelsey's first provider: Pushed a scheduled C-section due to a possible big babyChose elective C-sections for all of her own birthsKelsey's second provider:Wasn't concerned about Kelsey's blood clotting disorderDidn't push for induction upon borderline amniotic fluid levels Limited cervical checksSuggested a Cook's Catheter at 0 centimeters dilated with ruptured membranesDidn't push for C-section after 24 hours of ruptured membranes with GBSWe are incredibly grateful for all of those VBAC-supportive providers out there! They make ALL the difference. Additional LinksThe VBAC Link Blog: Group B Strep Prevention and Your Options for GBS+ BirthHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsThe VBAC Link Facebook CommunityFull Transcript under Episode DetailsMeagan: Hello, hello you guys. Welcome to The VBAC Link. This is Meagan, your host of The VBAC Link. We have a story for you today that has been something that we've been seeing trickling in our inbox a lot. So I went onto our VBAC Link Community on Facebook and said, “Hey, I'm looking for some stories with this specific topic.” That specific topic is GBS, so Group B Strep if you don't know what GBS means. That is something that we've been seeing in our inbox of people being told they cannot have a vaginal birth if they test positive for GBS which we all know, I hope through listening to these episodes that you'd know by now, is false. If you are told that you absolutely cannot have a TOLAC, a trial of labor after Cesarean because you have Group B Strep, that is not true. That is just simply not true. We have our friend Kelsey today from outside of Dallas, Texas is that right? Kelsey: Yes. Yes, yeah that's right. Meagan: Yes and she is going to share her story just proving that. Another fun twist to her story is that she had a rupture of membranes. One of the things providers fear more or worry most about is GBS and rupture of membranes and the longevity of the membranes being ruptured increasing risk of infection. So a lot of providers will say, “If you have GBS, the second your water breaks, TOLAC or not, you need to come in and start antibiotic treatment immediately.” There is definitely some evidence with treating with antibiotics and we're going to talk about some of that in the end and also some ways that you can try and avoid testing positive for GBS, but one of the crazy things or cool things I should say about Kelsey's story is that her rupture of membranes was 24+ hours. So a lot of the times, we have providers also saying after a certain amount of hours and they have a cutoff or a certain number of doses of antibiotics, we're at a high risk for the newborn getting GBS and then we need to have a Cesarean. So I'm excited to hear Kelsey talk about her journey with 24+ hours with a rupture of membranes with GBS. Then another twist to her story is when she did arrive, she was a certain centimeter that a lot of people also think can't be helped. I'm just going to leave that right there and we'll let Kelsey talk about that. Review of the WeekBut of course, we have a Review of the Week so I want to dive into that. This was back in 2021, so a couple of years ago actually from mckenna_123 and her subject is “You're Not Alone, Mama.” It says, “When I had my first baby 7 months ago via C-section due to placenta previa, I was left discouraged and sad with little to no tools to help me process all that had happened. It was hard for me to tell my story to others confidently and joyfully because I felt so isolated by the experience. Enter The VBAC Link.” Ooh, that just gave me chills actually.“I spent my early postpartum months listening to an episode every day while I nursed my newborn. When I came across the placenta previa story on the podcast, I felt so seen and understood. This podcast gave me the opportunity to feel bound to other strong mamas who have healed from similar experiences. All of a sudden, I didn't feel so alone. I'm not pregnant with baby #2 yet, but when that happens, I will be armed with invaluable tools and knowledge for my journey to have a beautiful and redemptive VBAC. Thank you ladies for being the voice for moms who feel alone and unseen.” Whoa. I got chills all while reading that whole thing. She is so right. You are not alone. We are here with you. I know I've said this before and I'm going to say it a million times again but here at The VBAC Link, we truly love. I know we don't know you, but we love you and we don't want you to feel alone. That is why we created The VBAC Link because we felt alone. We were in that spot. Julie and I years and years ago felt alone wanting to have this vaginal birth which seemed so normal. Vaginal birth just seems like it should be normal. That's what happens, right? But then we had these C-sections, unexpected and undesired and we didn't know where we belonged. We didn't know what we could do. We didn't know who was saying whether that was true or not. That is why we are here. That is why The VBAC LInk exists. So thank you, McKenna, so much. Congratulations on your baby that is now probably almost two. Kelsey: And we need an update, McKenna. Meagan: We need an update. Are we having another baby? Where are we at? Are you still with us? Let's hear that update. Definitely email us. If you haven't had the time or a chance to put a review in, we would love that. We love getting them in the email box, on Apple Podcasts, and on Instagram. We love seeing your reviews. I'm not kidding you. When I was reading this review, I would get chills and then they would go down and then I'd get chills again and then they'd go down. They mean so much. So definitely if you haven't, drop us a review. Kelsey's StoryMeagan: Okay, Kelsey. Welcome to the show. Kelsey: Hey, thanks for having me, for having me on the VBAC podcast. I'm so excited to be here. Meagan: Oh my gosh. Well, I am so excited that you are here and sharing, like I said, such a great topic because I don't know. Tell me what you have heard about GBS. Have you heard that you can't have a vaginal birth with GBS? Or have you heard anything like that?Kelsey: Oh absolutely. Not from my doctor per se and I'll give you some more info about that as I share my story, but I believed that everything had to go according to plan despite listening to y'all's episodes, despite hearing other VBAC stories, I just felt like there is no way that I can have this vaginal birth after a Cesarean unless everything goes just as it should. My story is one that should be titled, “When Everything Goes Wrong”. Meagan: Okay, “When Everything Goes Wrong”. Kelsey: Yes, yes. I definitely heard that. One of the things that I kept in mind and I'll mention this too is that when you have ruptured membranes longer than 24 hours– I mean, I Googled this last night just to be sure. You'll see all over the place, “You've got to get baby out. You've got to get baby out. You've got to get baby out,” and that just wasn't the case for me. So yeah, I've got a lot of fun to unpack with you. Meagan: Yeah, and actually, my water was broken for over 24 hours too and so I connect so much to that because I hear it so much with our clients, “Within 24 hours, if you haven't had a baby, we've got to get baby out.” Some people are like, “Oh, within 8-10 hours, if contractions haven't started, we have to induce.” But that's not necessarily the case and we are two people that are living proof of that. Kelsey: Absolutely. Absolutely. Can I start by giving you just a little rundown of baby #1?Meagan: Absolutely. I was going to say, let's unpack where it all began. That's exactly where it began, right? Kelsey: That's exactly where it began. My son was born via scheduled Cesarean in July of 2018 at 40+2. I had never felt a contraction prior to having my son. I was diagnosed with polyhydramnios in the latter weeks of that pregnancy which of course as you know, leads to increased ultrasounds, and the more ultrasounds you have, the more– I don't want to say that things can go wrong, but he did get the big baby label because he was seen so much. Of course, you guys have shared that those can be up to 2 pounds in either direction. I remember somewhere along the 36-38 week mark, my provider because discussing delivery with me and she mentioned that she would hate to see me run out of the clock on a 24-hour labor which should have been red flag #1. Meagan: Uh-huh. Kelsey: She said that I would be so tired from laboring all day only to have a newborn that would not let me get any rest. She mentioned shoulder dystocia and that he would get stuck. She pulled out all of the stops. Then she even said– and you're going to die when I tell you this– she said, “I've seen too many things go wrong with vaginal deliveries during my residency and it's why I chose elective Cesareans for the births of my own children.” Meagan: Oh, dear. Oh, dear. She is in the wrong field. Kelsey: I don't want to demonize her. I trust that she was–Meagan: Probably speaking from her heart. Kelsey: Yes. She was. She was not out to get me. Meagan: No, and this is the thing. A lot of the time, these providers have this bad rap. I'm like, “Oh dear, red flag.” They do take, a lot of the time, from what they have maybe seen. She was mentioning shoulder dystocia. Maybe she's seen really hard shoulder dystocia so she fears that. She fears that but she's labeling every other birth that way to the point where she even scheduled her own Cesarean because she was that scared of vaginal birth. Right?Kelsey: Right. Meagan: If you have a provider that is that scared of vaginal birth for herself, then that is a red flag for sure. Kelsey: Yeah, absolutely. Meagan: But we don't even think about that. Kelsey: Yeah, and I didn't have the knowledge or experience to present a case for vaginal delivery for myself nor did I feel like I had the ability to so I walked in and had a scheduled Cesarean. It was very routine, very rote. My son did weigh 9.5 pounds, but there I was a first-time mom. I felt like this experience that I so desired to have, this vaginal birth, was snatched right out from under me. I had never felt a single contraction. I don't know why that was so important to me, but I just felt like I was missing something. Meagan: It's a signal to our minds and our brains that our baby is coming. Kelsey: Yeah. Meagan: It's a sure sign when we start having contractions and experiencing labor that, “Okay. We are now entering this stage.” I swear because the same thing, I remember the last time I felt a contraction with my second and I was sad. I'm like, “Wait. Where did they go?”Kelsey: Yeah. So that feeling really set the stage for the birth of my daughter. She didn't come until about 4 years later, but I knew that the first weapon in my arsenal would be to find a new provider. I conducted some interviews with two providers here in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. You are a part of the Facebook pages like DFW VBAC and you see names pop up over and over again. I chose Dr. Downey who you guys actually, one of your very first episodes was with a gal named Rachel and she used Dr. Downey for her VBAC. I remember there were 13 months between her Cesarean and her first VBAC. Meagan: Wow. Kelsey: So we've got a repeat doctor on here. Meagan: Yeah, that is really good to know. Dr. Downey. Kelsey: Dr. Downey, yeah. He was amazing. He never batted an eye. He briefly mentioned induction by 41 weeks due to health concerns on my end. It was nothing major, but I had a few markers for antiphospholipid antibody syndrome. Meagan: I don't think I've ever heard of that. Kelsey: It's a blood clotting disorder. Meagan: Oh, okay. Kelsey: So I was on Heparin shots. Lovenox shots and then moved to Heparin shots closer to delivery. But he was largely very patient. Very, very patient. He said, “You're going to be getting a call from the hospital to schedule an induction by around 41 weeks.” I kept waiting, waiting, and waiting for the call. I hated the waiting. I wanted to decline the induction, but I also, to be honest with you, wanted to follow my doctor's advice so I felt like I was in a really weird place. Anyway, I never got that phone call. I never got that call to schedule an induction. I never had to make that decision because the hospital was packed and they didn't have room for me and it was not truly medically necessary so I left my 40-week appointment with my next appointment scheduled for 41 weeks and he was like, “Okay. I guess we're just going to wait for you to go into labor.” I said, “Great. I love that.” So fast forward to my due date, I texted my doula that afternoon an update, and at about 9:30 PM that evening, to my surprise, I started cramping sporadically but because I had never felt a contraction as I said, “I just kept thinking, is this it? This can't be it. This is it. It has to be. It can't be. What is going on?”I even got out my contraction timer just to see. My sense of time was so distorted because I was excited but confused. So I got out my contraction timer just to see how long were these cramps. How much time was between them? I didn't expect any regularity, but I did continue to cramp until early morning. I woke my husband up. Talk about excitement. That guy got showered, packed a bag, and was fully dressed in 7 minutes. Meagan: Oh my gosh. That's awesome. Kelsey: I very kindly reminded him that this could take a while. He should probably rest. I was resting as best as I could, eating, and drinking, and at 3:21 AM the next morning, I felt that little pop that everyone talks about that you just don't really know until you experience it. I was glad. Is there such a thing as TMI on this show? Meagan: No. No. Kelsey: I had a pad on by that point because I had some bloody show. I was so glad because I didn't have this massive gush of water. It was just some leaking. When I went to the restroom, I noticed that it was not clear. I think one of the things that I hope people glean from my story is that you have to do what you're comfortable with despite risk and statistics and all of the numbers. I knew that yes, I could stay at home and I could continue to labor but I just felt more comfortable going to the hospital with the fact that my waters were not clear. Meagan: Yeah. Kelsey: I called my doula. I send her pictures, God bless her, and with my own gut feeling, my husband's urging and her advice, we headed to the hospital about 2 hours later and we were admitted by 7:30 AM that next morning. Meagan: Yeah. I just want to talk about despite what evidence may say, “Oh yeah, I'm safe to be here but my heart says that I shouldn't.” That is so important to listen to. We talk about it on the podcast all of the time. What does your heart say? What does your gut say? But it really, really, really is so important. I love that you had a doula to validate you and say, “Yeah. That's totally fine. That's a great idea. You can go on in.” Kelsey: Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I think you have to take into account all of your experiences in the past too. What is going on in your life as you're experiencing this labor, as your baby is coming into this world? I kind of felt like I was taking a risk by having a VBAC. I know that I wasn't necessarily, but that was big enough for me so I needed to mitigate the other smaller risks by just going to the hospital and being in a place where I felt comfortable. That might not be the case for others listening and that's okay. Something else I decided fairly early on in my pregnancy was that I did not want to know how far dilated I was. I didn't want to know baby's station. I knew that this was a mental game, so whether I was a centimeter dilated upon admission or 6 centimeters, I just did not want to know. I wanted to do what my body was doing, lean into that. My husband was told how far dilated I was. He relayed that info to my doula until she was present and then obviously, my doctor knew as well. You mentioned at the beginning of the show, I was a certain centimeter dilated when I was admitted and that was 0. Meagan: Not dilated at all. Kelsey: Not dilated at all. Meagan: A lot of the time, with people who are wanting to VBAC, if you walk in with ruptured membranes, nothing is really happening, and you're not dilated at all, Pitocin doesn't help when not much is happening. It helps us dilate but usually, they want it to be something. Do you remember how effaced you were? Kelsey: I don't remember how effaced I was. I don't know if I even was at all. Meagan: Okay, yeah. See? And then right there, a provider sometimes might say, “There are no options here.” Kelsey: Yeah, and let me tell you. Because I was not having any contractions, I didn't know how dilated I was, but I do remember my labor and delivery nurse saying, “Because you're not having contractions, Pitocin is really your only option.” My doctor came in right after that and said, “I don't see why I can't insert a balloon catheter. He was the one who was like, “Wait a minute. I'm the doctor. I'll make that decision.” Meagan: Let's not let the nurse call the shots. That's good that they were willing to give you Pitocin because sometimes, we'll have providers say, “We'll try to give you Pitocin and try and help you efface and open just a little bit to help us get a Foley or a Cook in,” but some providers are like, “No. No contractions, no dilation, no effacement, rarely is Pitocin going to help.” But it can. Kelsey: We didn't do Pitocin yet. We started with a balloon catheter. Meagan: Can you tell people how uncomfortable or comfortable it was and how you could get through it? Because not dilated at all, you're literally putting a catheter through a closed, hard cervix. Kelsey: Absolutely. It was painful. It was painful getting it in, but the real painful part– and I'm sure that your listeners know and you'll have to correct me if I'm wrong– the balloons are inserted. They are pumped with saline to manually being to dilate the cervix. They fall out by themselves somewhere around 4 centimeters. Is that right? Meagan: 3-4 centimeters, yep. Kelsey: Putting it was painful, but the real pain came when my nurses would try to put some tension on the balloon to tug on it to see if it would come out. My husband will say, “That looked like it was the most pain that you were in the whole time.” That was so painful. And of course, I don't have an epidural at this point. It's not coming out, lady. It's not coming out. Give it a minute. So that was pretty painful. Meagan: Yeah. And they pull and push and put pressure on it to try and encourage it and see because sometimes it will just slip out but it also needs to come down and put pressure on the cervix but it's obviously not the funnest. But could you say manageable or worth it or would you say, “I'd never do it again in my life”?Kelsey: No, absolutely. No. I would absolutely do it again because it worked for me and really, only one of the balloons that came out was painful. I got up to use the restroom at about maybe 5:00 PM that night. It was inserted at 9:30 in the morning. I got up to use the restroom one time at 5 and the second one just popped out like that. It was easy peasy. So I would absolutely do it again. It was not that miserable but it was certainly not comfortable. Meagan: Yeah, not pleasant. Kelsey: Yeah. And I love what my doctor said. He came in whenever that second balloon fell out and he said, “You're dilated. We know you're dilated to a certain point at least.” I was very conservative with cervical checks. I was like, “You can check me when I'm admitted but other than that, I really don't want anyone up there,” because I know that increases the risk of infection. So he said, “There's no reason for me to check you. We know that you're at a certain point, but now we've got to work to get your contractions to match your dilation,” which was such an easy way for me to understand what was going on. And you'll have to forgive me because I don't remember when they started the antibiotic drip. I was diagnosed with GBS as we mentioned and I did choose to go the antibiotic route just because– and this takes into another point that we talked about earlier– I had a friend whose daughter did contract GBS during delivery and she was very, very sick, hospitalized the first week after she was born. So I knew statistically the odds were very small for my little one to experience any adverse consequences but that was a risk I just didn't want to take. I wanted to mitigate it. Meagan: And that's great. Kelsey: So I did take antibiotics. I don't know how much, but I did go that route. Meagan: Yeah, most people do. Most people do. Kelsey: Yeah. So we did begin to work to get contractions to match my dilation. I pumped a little bit. I moved around. We began Pitocin and this was honestly my favorite part of labor. I would do the hours from 5:00 PM to 10:00 PM when I did get an epidural over and over and over again. I put my headphones in. I got in the zone. I spent a lot of time on the birthing ball and on the toilet. When people say the toilet is a magical place to be when you're in labor, they're not wrong. They're not wrong. Meagan: I loved it too. I loved it. Kelsey: I loved it so much. Meagan: It was this weird way to put counterpressure, open the pelvis, take off the pressure, but also at the same time, get the good pressure. I don't know. I loved it too. Kelsey: Yes, and my doula had set up candles in the bathroom and the lights were turned off. It was a moment when I was unhooked from the machines. She had some essential oils in the toilet. I don't know. I never knew the hospital restroom could be so relaxing, but it was great. Meagan: I love that. Kelsey: It was so great. I did work through contractions for about 5 hours. I was getting so tired by this point. I had been up for 24 hours without a drop of sleep. I didn't have the same fortitude that I maybe would have had 12 hours prior, so I began to no longer work with my contractions. I was just fighting against them. I was yelling, “No” a lot. I was saying things that– I don't know. Laboring brings out a whole other individual within a woman I believe. At about 10:00 PM that night, Pitocin was up to a 5. I was dilated to about 7 centimeters and I decided to get the epidural which is something that I necessarily didn't plan on, but I'm glad that I did. It was a good decision. Meagan: I love that you say that because I think that there's so much shame sometimes about having this goal and desire, but then “giving up” which is not giving up, just to let you know, listeners. The epidural can really come in as such an amazing tool when you're exhausted. Sometimes we're holding so much tension, so getting an epidural actually offers relaxation. There are other pros and cons to epidurals, but the epidural can be such a great tool and you should never feel bad or question your decision to change your mind. Kelsey: Yeah, absolutely. And this is another thing that I learned as I was laboring or really reflecting on the labor and delivery process is that first of all, for the most part, none of your decisions have to be instantaneous and I remember my doula telling me this. She was like, “You can take a minute. You can ask everyone to step out of the room and it just be you and your husband. You can think through the pros, cons, risks, and advantages. For whatever decision you make, for the most part, you have time.” I was always afraid that I would be pressured into, “Okay, you're in here. We've got to make a decision. What do you want to do?” and I wouldn't know what to do. So I was so glad that there was time and that there were options. I feel like my epidural was one of those things. I remember asking everyone to leave the room and it was just me and my husband. We were talking through it, but it allowed me to rest. I got to sleep a little bit. Because of my doula and nurses, they positioned me just so that baby moved several stations. I dilated to 9 centimeters and I was 80% effaced in a matter of hours. Meagan: Wow. That is awesome. Kelsey: Yes, it was great. I still didn't know how far dilated I was until this point. My doula, nurse, and husband decided it would be– I mean, they let me make the ultimate decision, but they thought it would be a good idea to know that I was 9 centimeters because I was 24 hours into this thing and kind of discouraged to be quite honest. Anyway, we were quickly approaching the 24-hour mark since my water broke. That was another thing that I was starting to freak out about. I felt like, “Okay, because my water is broken and it's been 24 hours, this is going to be an automatic C-section,” but that was not the case. I remember– my doctor didn't really come to see me that much, but he just seemed so unbothered by it. Meagan: So what you're saying is that he didn't even treat you any differently? Kelsey: No, no. Meagan: That's amazing. That's amazing.Kelsey: He is so– if you're ever in the DFW area– Meagan: That's what we want. That is what we want. If you in your mind are like, “Oh, I've got this C-section. I've got this and I've got that,” and your provider is just acting like you are any other person coming in and having a baby, yeah. That's awesome. That's what you want. Kelsey: That's how my nurse was too. I remember telling her, “I'm so scared every time you come and take my temperature because I'm afraid that I'm going to have spiked a fever.” Meagan: That you'll say I have an infection, yeah. Kelsey: Yes. I remember she put her hands on my knees and she looked me in the eye and she said, “Even if I come in and you've spiked a fever, a C-section is not the only way to get this baby out. She's right there. She's right there. There are other options. It's going to be okay.” Meagan: Yes. That's awesome. Kelsey: So we just kept on keeping on. I slept. I kept sleeping a little bit. I rested from about 2:00 AM until 6:15 AM when I was complete. We started doing some practice pushes, but on the first practice one, the baby's head started coming out. Meagan: Ah! That first practice push. Kelsey: Yes, so my nurse was like, “Can you hold on a minute? Let me go get the doctor.” I'm pretty sure he came from home. This is probably one of those do as I say not as I do situations. I was so tired of waiting and I was so tired in general. I just started pushing even when contractions weren't necessarily helping me, but that girl came out in 30 minutes. She was born and put in my arms. It was the very best. I never heard a single, “Well, you've got Group B Strep or your waters have been broken this long.” I mean, none of that from my doctor, from nurses, no one. Meagan: Awesome. Kelsey: I feel like they treated me as an individual case because I was. I was not a textbook that they were reading in nursing school or medical school or anything like that. It was, “At this moment, how is your baby doing? How are you doing? What are the signs that we have from data and all of those kinds of things and experiences? I think we're okay to keep going.” So that's what we did. Meagan: I love that. This team sounds really awesome. Kelsey: They were great. Meagan: It would be really cool if we could just replicate them and send them all over the world. Kelsey: I know. They were awesome. Meagan: There are providers just like them for sure, but that just sounds so awesome and so non-pressuring especially when you have all of these little factors that could really impact a provider's view. Kelsey: Yeah. Meagan: Ah, it's so awesome. Well, I am so happy for you. Huge congrats. Huge congrats. Kelsey: Thank you. Thank you. Meagan: I'm so glad that along the way you were one, supported, and two, you were able to follow your heart and feel validated for following your heart, and being able to shift gears based on what you were giving. This is so important to know. Plans can change. Things can change and you didn't go with the same exact provider. A lot of the time, we do so that's another little tidbit I would like to talk about it providers and how important providers are and can really impact. This is even before having a C-section. From the get-go, right? If we have a provider that is really against vaginal birth in the beginning or really prone to induction and pressing and pushing Pitocin really hard and then we stress baby out and then we're not doing well and then we have a C-section, we needed to be supported and not pressed from the beginning. Know that if you are feeling these red flags as a first-time mom if you're listening because I know we have first-time moms listening. Know that if you're feeling weird about a provider, it's okay to change at any point. It's really okay. Find a provider like this that supports you and says, “Okay, this is what we've got. Everything is looking okay. Here we are. Let's keep going,” and really helps you as your guide. Kelsey: I remember there were two things. I guess I just want to rave about him more. Towards the end of my pregnancy, we were doing– oh gosh. What is it? A non-stress test. We were doing that at every appointment because of my blood clotting disorder and just making sure that baby was doing okay. My amniotic fluid level was kind of decreasing. It was getting pretty close to that line where most doctors would say, “Oh, it's getting too close. You've got to come in tomorrow. We're going to induce at 39 weeks.” He just said, “Oh, we'll check it again next week. Just make sure you're drinking a lot of water.”When I came in to be admitted, there was meconium because I had that rupture of membranes and there was meconium. It wasn't clear so I was freaking out and he said, “That's actually pretty normal for full-term. We're not going to be worried about it.” And I didn't know that!Meagan: Yeah. Yeah, it is. The longer-term the baby goes, it's common. I mean, it can happen really anytime, but yeah. Meconium is more common than the world knows. Kelsey: Absolutely. Absolutely. Meagan: There are so many babies that are born with meconium that the nurses and the staff pay attention to a little more after birth but have no complications. Kelsey: Yeah, yep. That's exactly what happened with us. Meagan: Yeah, yeah. That's important to know. Well, I want to talk a little bit about GBS. Let's talk about the actual evidence. The risk of a newborn getting a GBS infection– you kind of mentioned that it's pretty low, but based on your own experience you're like, “Yeah, it wasn't worth the risk to me.” It's the same thing when we're talking about TOLAC. Okay, uterine rupture risk is pretty low, but then we have to evaluate what risk is acceptable to that individual. Kelsey: Absolutely. Meagan: Not treating meaning no use of antibiotics which is usually Penicillin via IV and it's usually done about every 4 hours, especially after a rupture of membranes. The risk of serious infection including so serious death is 1-2%. Kelsey: Yeah. It's small. Meagan: It's very small, but again, it's what risk you are willing to take. Some people are 100% willing and say, “I would really rather not receive antibiotics,” and that is okay too. There's not a ton of evidence with Hibicleans and stuff like that. It's a vaginal wash. Honestly, it's like a douche. Sorry for saying that word everybody, but that's what it is. You put it on up there and it cleanses the canal. So the risk of infection with the treatment of antibiotics is about 0.2%. So, still very low.Kelsey: Also small. Meagan: Also very small. But still, there you go. And then one thing that– and it's from a small trial and it was quite a few years ago. I think it was 7 years ago maybe in 2016. They did a small trial and they found that women that were GBS positive that took probiotics decreased their chance by 43%. 43% of them became GBS-negative by birth. Kelsey: Okay, interesting. Meagan: So really interesting. Probiotics. I believe in probiotics not even pregnant, just all the time. I think it's really a good thing because there is so much in our food and everything these days but that was kind of an interesting thing. Again, like I said, it was a smaller trial. It was done quite a few years ago, but 43% of them became negative by birth. That's pretty high. Kelsey: Absolutely. Meagan: 43%. So knowing also that if you test positive, you can retest closer to birth because it can go away. It doesn't always though, so don't think that if you get positive and you start probiotics that you are for sure not going to be positive, but know that there are things that you can do or the garlic and things like that. We'll have a blog in the show notes today linked about GBS. We'll have these trials and things linked as well so you can go check them out for yourself and make the best decision for you. Kelsey: Yeah, I think it goes without being said too that there is going to be a risk with antibiotics as well. Where there is risk, there has to be choice. I made my decision but probably hundreds of thousands of women listening to this are going to choose differently. Meagan: Yeah. Yeah, and that's okay. That's one of my favorite things about this show. We all have opinions and we all have things that we would do versus someone else, but there's no shaming in any decisions that anyone makes. I was actually never GBS positive so I never even had to make that choice which I'm grateful for. A lot of people will say, “No. No way. I don't want antibiotics because there's risk with antibiotics.” But then a lot of people will say, “Well, I'd rather have the risk of taking the antibiotics than this risk too.” So you just have to weigh out the pros and cons and decide what's best for you. But yeah. I love your story. I love that you had a long birth, premature rupture of membranes, walking in at no dilation, and a less-ideal cervical state. Kelsey: Yes. Adding that to my resume. Meagan: A less-than-ideal cervical state with my VBAC. And a Cook catheter and that took time and all of the things. Here you are and you had a vaginal birth. Kelsey: I did. I did. I would do it all over again. Meagan: A lot of people ask me that. “Would you do it again?” because I had a really long labor as well and I'm like, “Yeah. Yep. I totally would do it again. 100%. Absolutely.” Well, thank you so much for being with us today and sharing your story. Kelsey: Thank you for having me. It was great. ClosingWould you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan's bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-vbac-link/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
© 2020-2025 Ivy Podcast Discovery LLC
