Podcasts about belah

Not a Bad Marriage, But the Future Looked Disconnected: David's Transformation Journey One of the biggest lies couples believe is this: "This is just what marriage becomes." The excitement fades. The connection weakens. The emotional intimacy disappears. And we convince ourselves that's normal. This is where David found himself. His marriage wasn't falling apart, but it wasn't thriving either. He was starting to see small cracks ("micro-fissures" as he called them) in the foundation. As a couple, they were functioning fine–paying bills, raising kids, managing life– but somewhere along the way, they had stopped truly connecting. When looking for advice, he would hear things like: "That's marriage." "That's life." "Honeymoon's over." But God offers something different. Marriage was never designed to be two people surviving under the same roof; it was designed to reflect Christ's love. To be life-giving. Refreshing. Connected. When David stopped focusing on what was missing and started focusing on becoming the husband God was calling him to be, everything began to shift. His wife became more vulnerable. Their conversations deepened. Their friendship grew. Hope returned. And perhaps the best part of the story is this: his children started noticing. They watched their dad plan surprises for their mom. They helped him prepare dates! They saw affection, intentionality, and joy. That's generational impact. You are not meant to settle for a marriage that merely functions. God has something better than survival. And the beautiful part? The journey starts with just one willing heart. With love, The Delight Your Marriage Team (Shownotes written with AI assistance) PS - Wives, want to know more about the free Course we're currently offering? Check out Wives, The Path Back to Warmth to sign up and learn more! PPS - Ready to take that first step and begin healing your marriage? Our Clarity Advisors would love to talk with you. Schedule a Free Clarity Call; it starts with one willing heart. PPS - Here is what a recent Coaching Graduate had to say: "I've become much more aware of my harshness and demanding nature...I've been working at lighting up and letting people be themselves around me, including [my wife]... I really like DYM and appreciate [Belah] and the program very much. The step-by-step nature is good. It's both simple and hard at the same time. Your content makes me think and ponder very deeply, which is not something I've done much and really makes me want to improve as a person. No other program has touched me as deeply."

Can we give you an encouragement today? Just because your marriage has felt cold… Disconnected… Tense… Or emotionally distant for years… Does not mean that's how it has to stay. In today's episode, a wife recently shared that for years, her husband told her he didn't feel respected — and honestly? She truly didn't understand what he meant. Not because she didn't love him. Not because she was trying to hurt him. But because no one had ever taught her what respect actually looks like to a husband. And over time, little hurts built up. Distance built up. Frustration built up. She described herself as becoming colder toward affection — even non-sexual touch felt difficult. But instead of staying stuck, she decided to ask God to change her. She humbled herself and leaned in. And slowly, things changed. Her husband began saying things like: "I finally feel respected." "I finally feel seen." "I finally feel like you get it." Yes, that's possible. When we begin loving our spouse the way God designed them to receive love, something softens.  Peace enters places that used to feel tense. Hope returns. If you know something in your marriage needs a revamp… If you're tired of repeating the same painful patterns… If you long for emotional, spiritual, and physical connection again… We would love to walk alongside you. Love, The Delight Your Marriage Team (Shownotes created with AI assistance) PS - Do you have an area in your marriage that is ready for a revamp? Schedule a free Clarity Call and bring back the joy and connection in your marriage: https://delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching program graduate: "I absolutely love how biblically and psychologically grounded and how thorough this program is. It is the best marriage discipleship program I've ever done and I so appreciate the time, love and thought that Belah and her team have put into DYM...I've been able to experience more joy, I'm a lot more relaxed, and I'm able to be an encouragement to others. I have a happier home as well and feel a lot more supported in my walk with God."

 All Your "Godly" Accomplishments Are Nothing? What if you could "win" in every area of life… and still lose the things that matter most? Because according to Jesus, success isn't measured by productivity, influence, money, ministry titles, or getting more done than everyone else. It's measured by love. "Love is patient and kind…" (1 Corinthians 13) That means our marriages matter. Our tone matters. The atmosphere in our home matters. The way we treat our spouse and children matters. This episode is for driven husbands (and honestly, anyone with a high-achieving personality) who may be unintentionally sacrificing tenderness, emotional safety, and connection on the altar of accomplishment. You do not have to keep living rushed, impatient, emotionally disconnected, or spiritually distracted. Jesus can teach you another way. A slower way. A gentler way. A truly strong way. And it may be the very thing your marriage and family are longing for most. God bless you, Belah (Used AI to draft shownotes from Belah's show.) PS - Don't wait. Take the next step. Schedule a free Clarity Call and start your journey to a healed marriage. PPS - What is your Marital Health score? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out. PPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching program graduate: I came into the program scoring very low in our marital health. I was very discouraged... This was leading me to moments of intense anguish, embarrassment, anger and a quiet desperation. Joining DYM has given me space to process how we got to this place in our marriage. I have a lot of insight into how we got to where we were...I have hope where I didn't have hope. We are now a 7 or so in our marital health. I feel much less embarrassed, and far more content in our marriage than I did when we began.

From Tolerating to Delighting: Marriage Transformation Is Possible (feat. Gary Thomas & Belah Rose) Imagine this: Your husband is working nights and you are cleaning houses during the day.    When you find out you are pregnant, you pursue a dream of writing a book.   Every morning you walk to the coffee shop just down the street to write.    One of your favorite things to do is listen to books about marriage. One of your favorite books on the topic is written by Gary Thomas. In his book, Sacred Marriage, he asks, "What if marriage is meant to make us holy instead of happy?"   Now, fast forward just a few years.    You are having a conversation with that author, and he tells you he is a fan of your work.    Fast forward a couple more years, and you get to be mentored by this same author.    Eventually, it becomes evident that he and I can help more couples by joining forces and creating a collaboration where he shares his wisdom through books and speaking, and you are able to provide coaching and accountability for people after they read the books or attend the conferences.   That is the story I am sharing with you today as I announce a collaboration with Gary Thomas, bestselling author and speaker.   In this episode, we share how God truly has a plan for your marriage. He is the one who changes lives, and we have been able to see that in both of our work.   I want to encourage you that God can take your loaves and fishes and do something amazing. He can take your willingness. He can take your bit of faith, and He can make a marvelous tapestry for His glory.   Just yesterday, we had two amazing graduations. Both individuals were changed themselves. And their spouse changed in response, though their spouses did not do the work.    That can be your story, too. We would love to witness God perform that miracle through biblical principles made practical on the inside.   Listen to today's podcast to understand Gary's heart and mine regarding the work we do, and now do together.   Thank you, Gary, for the honor!   And thank you, listener, for your love, support, and prayers. I am honored to be able to serve in this way and am trusting God for more healed hearts.   God bless you,   Belah PS - Marriage Transformation is real. Schedule a free Clarity Call and start your journey to a playful, peaceful, purposeful marriage. PPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching program graduate:  My wife and I struggled to get along...We were so intimately disconnected that it led to months of no sexual intimacy...it was so painful. We constantly fought about any and everything...I had gone into various counseling programs, spiritual formations, soul care, discipleship...But nothing was really changing our relationship... [Now,] God is answering my prayers and faith is becoming a reality. She is opening up, sharing her thoughts and feeling safe and connected...She is trusting me again...[We] have been having sex again...I am in such a better place and praise God for leading me to Belah and DYM.   Here is an AI-generated summary of today's episode: A New Christ-Centered Partnership for Marriage Transformation Gary Thomas and Belah Rose announce a meaningful new collaboration between Gary's marriage ministry work and Belah's ministry, Delight Your Marriage. Their shared desire is to help marriages be healed, strengthened, and transformed for the glory of God. Belah Rose's Story: From Brokenness to Marriage Ministry Belah shares how her own painful first marriage, divorce, and season away from Jesus shaped her calling. After experiencing healing through Christ and through the love of her husband, Darrow, she became passionate about helping others avoid the pain she had walked through. Her heart for Delight Your Marriage was born from the realization that marriage can either deeply wound or deeply heal—and that intimacy is often a powerful catalyst in that process. Why One Spouse Can Still Make a Difference A major theme of the conversation is that transformation can begin with just one spouse doing the work. Gary and Belah emphasize that this is not about blame or manipulation. Instead, it is about reclaiming God-given influence, loving your spouse as an act of obedience to Christ, and allowing God to change the atmosphere of the marriage. Understanding How Men and Women Receive Love Differently Belah explains the Delight Your Marriage framework for helping spouses love each other well. For wives, the focus is often helping them feel: Safe Known Wholeheartedly cherished For husbands, the focus is often helping them feel: Respected Admired Wholeheartedly intimate Gary affirms that while every person is unique, there are real patterns in how men and women often experience love, safety, respect, and intimacy. Rebuilding Intimacy Without Pressure or Manipulation Gary and Belah address the pain of sexless, disconnected, or emotionally distant marriages. They explain that true intimacy is not about obligation or pressure, but mutual joy, desire, safety, and love. Belah shares that many spouses come into the program wanting change in intimacy, but through the process, their motivation becomes deeper: loving their spouse well because they love God. Real Stories of Marriages Being Restored Belah shares several powerful examples of transformation, including: A couple who had gone 10 years without intimacy and experienced renewed connection after three months of doing the work. A wife whose husband had been checked out through video games, but who became more engaged, responsible, and affectionate after she changed her approach. A husband whose wife had been emotionally cold and distant, but who later began coming toward him with affection, conversation, and intimacy. Hope for Marriages That Feel Dead and Buried Gary and Belah are honest that not every marriage has a guaranteed outcome, especially when divorce, abuse, abandonment, or unsafe dynamics are involved. But they also emphasize that God can resurrect marriages that seem completely hopeless. Through Christ, practical tools, humility, and accountability, many couples have experienced healing they never thought possible. What Happens on a Clarity Call Belah explains that the first step is a free Clarity Call. During the call, a trained advisor listens deeply to the person's story, prays for them, and helps identify what may be at the root of the marital struggle. From there, some people are invited to a Program Discovery Call to discern whether coaching is the right next step. Why Accountability Matters in Marriage Growth Gary explains that books, conferences, and resources can be helpful, but many people need someone to walk with them personally. Belah shares that Delight Your Marriage offers coaching, structure, small-group support, prayer, and accountability so participants are not trying to change alone. Help for Good Marriages That Want to Become Great The program is not only for marriages in crisis. Belah explains that even strong marriages can have hidden "leaks"—small areas where connection, intimacy, communication, or delight could become stronger. Sometimes a marriage that seems good can become far better than either spouse knew was possible. Support for Pastors, Missionaries, and Ministry Marriages Belah and Gary also discuss the importance of supporting pastors, missionaries, and ministry couples. Many leaders feel isolated in their marriage struggles, and Delight Your Marriage offers a private, Christ-centered place to receive help. Belah shares that scholarships are available for some full-time ministers. Special Invitation for Gary Thomas's Audience To celebrate the partnership, Belah shares a special offer for Gary Thomas's audience. Those who sign up and share that they were referred by Gary Thomas can receive $500 or more in savings if they sign up for a Clarity Call and coaching before May 15. Final Encouragement: There Is Real Hope for Your Marriage Gary and Belah close with a message of hope. A painful marriage does not have to stay the same. A distant marriage can become connected again. A marriage that feels dead can be revived by the power of Jesus. The invitation is simple: take the next step, begin with a Clarity Call, and discover what God may want to heal.

Zero Intimacy for Almost a Decade, Husband & Wife Share Their Miracle Ten years of no physical intimacy. That is where husband & wife, Jim & Willa, found themselves. For 38 years of marriage, Willa described her husband as a "my way or the highway" kind of guy. And up until recently, Jim felt so frustrated and angry in his marriage that he wanted to leave. They were sleeping in separate bedrooms, had busy lives, he left before she woke up just to avoid her most days. Jim shared they literally hadn't touched in years. -- Quote from a recent Coaching Program graduate: "Week by week in this program, I've been taking an honest look at myself and owning the ways I've dropped the ball in our marriage. I've been working on making [my wife] feel safe, known, and cherished, and when things get tough, I've been fighting my old habit of pulling away by choosing to lean in instead. I've been putting what I'm learning into practice—going from arguing almost every day to just a few times in the last six months, looking at my own heart first instead of blaming [my wife], and using the tools from MR so I'm not stuck feeling helpless when things aren't going well... I'm seeing real growth in how I love her and how we connect." -- They did a marriage program. It was good information, but by the end, it didn't help. Jim was at the end of his rope. He decided that he was ready to leave. When Willa suggested Delight Your Marriage, he essentially said: "I'll try it, but if this doesn't work, that's the end." What shocked him was the change that took place between the two of them week by week. He had to be willing to feel silly and do something new. She had to be willing to slow down enough to focus on her highest priority human. They both had to humble themselves, roll up their sleeves, and do the work. And the Lord changed everything. Now they're connecting, laughing, hugging, and yes, even intimacy. In just a couple of months, they're enjoying the best connection they've ever had in 38 years. Maybe it's also been a decade for you of no physical intimacy. Maybe it's been even longer. Maybe you haven't laughed together in years. Maybe you don't even like being in the same room together. We want you to know that you are not alone, and God is still working. Take this with you: No one is too far gone for God. No marriage is irredeemable. And He can bring delight to your marriage. Blessings, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - Ready to take the next step in healing your marriage? Schedule a free Clarity Call today (before prices increase!) PPS - Here is a quote from another recent Coaching program graduate: "As I reflect back over this journey, I see how God has led me closer to Him. I have begun to understand what it means in Romans when  Paul says; "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind….." Truly grasping the perspective that [my wife] is God's beautifully made daughter has changed everything for me.  She is a blessing and a gift from the Lord….and my love for her today is so much greater than ever before... Thanks be to God for His abounding love. And thank you too Belah for your biblical passion, discernment, wisdom and courage to have this ministry."

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Today marks the day that God stooped so low to live a perfect life and die a gruesome sinner's death -- to save you. And save me.  Why? Not because we were perfect. Not because we could earn His love. Who could earn that?   But because He decided we were worth it.    We aren't deserving of His sacrifice because we're so great -- it's because HE'S so great. He's so good, kind, and gracious that He decided we were priceless to come and rescue.  And if you are priceless -- a prized treasure Jesus came to save... Is your spouse?    If the answer is yes... Are you treating your spouse like they are Jesus' prized treasure? Priceless in the eyes of the God of the Universe? Do you believe they are?   In today's episode, I hope to remind you of how loved you are by the Lord.  And with that in mind, I hope you also remember how loved your spouse is.  May that encourage us to love each other better and with a fuller heart. Blessings, Belah   PS - Ready to take the next step in healing your marriage? Schedule a free Clarity Call today (before prices increase!)   PPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching program graduate: "My contact with DYM has completely transformed my life. I was depressed, pessimistic, shackled by shame, and largely unaware of who I was and what effect I was having on my family. Through the skills and habits I learned in DYM God has truly made me a new creation. I now look forward to each new day and have a deep, healing, life-giving relationship with God that has freed me from shame, depression, and self-loathing."  

Become the man your wife respects and desires again—before prices increase Book your Clarity Call now -------------------------------------------- I'm speaking to a man who wants to fix things. He is not a whiner, complainer, or blamer. He's interested in taking responsibility and making things better. But if he's really honest with himself, sometimes he feels that his wife prioritizes the kids above him.    If you're in that category, I'd like to speak to you directly. You're right, it's not ok. This isn't a good dynamic. And if she's a Jesus-follower, it's also not biblical.    Ok.    Now that that's settled.    What do you do?    The thing you CAN control is yourself. You can update the lens by which you are evaluating the situation.   As a driven guy you know that if you do the same thing in business, you'll get the same results. But if you shift gears and do something else -- you'll see different results.    That's what I'm inviting you to do today. Shift gears. Try on a different set of lenses and see if God can change your marriage through you.   Let's go.    Here to see you win,  Belah   PS - Ready to take the next step in healing your marriage? Schedule a free Clarity Call today (before prices increase!): https://www.delightyourmarriage.com/cc   PPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching program graduate: "I was living in a repeating cycle of expecting sex, not being fulfilled by it because of her lack of desire for me, being angry at her for not trying to connect with me in the relationship, holding it in for as long as possible, then trying to "fix it" by talking to her about it or lashing out at her..[Now,] The biggest celebration I have had would be my change in perspective…I have learned that as a husband and father it is up to me to set the tone in our family. I am now living in God's purpose and design and the pieces around me are falling into place. Realizing that it's not what happens around me but how I see it and react to it has been the biggest blessing from this course."

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[Belah here - AI was not used to draft or write this description] As silly as it may seem, something as sacred and biblical as marital intimacy comes right down to the practical of "hey, it's just too quiet in the house for intimacy".    So, how do you solve for the biggest reasons a couple doesn't connect in this God-honoring way? Well, that's what today's conversation is all about.    In this episode, we do a lot less philosophy and theology and get into the specific tools that can help you no matter how busy your life is right now.    Even if other things you've looked into haven't given you something practical to do that is attainable. My goal by the end of this episode is for you to consider new things you can implement into your life that can tear down the blocks to intimacy in a practical way.    Ultimately, at Delight Your Marriage want to help and make your spouse and marriage feel loved, playful, and even passionate together. To read an AI generated summary, click here. Belah

[Belah here - AI was not used to draft or write this description] Sometimes I have been asked if I, as a woman, should be teaching men. When it comes up, I really appreciate that question because it shows a level of maturity and commitment to scripture.  The truth is, I never intended to be coaching or training men. That, in fact, is something I was against, at first. I intended to just follow Titus 2 by inviting women to learn to love their husbands well.  As I wrote the book and started the podcast and coaching women with this end in mind, men started reaching out to me. It was kind of uncomfortable at first.  I didn't know what to do with it. They were asking how they could get their wife to listen to my material. "I have no idea. That's on you." I wasn't cold-hearted, I just didn't think it was prudent.  Well, I was speaking to my husband, and he felt like it would be ok to speak to some of them via email or possibly a phone call, just so I could understand.  And when I did, I could tell "wow, now I see why she is rejecting". And not only that, I could see that she was really suffering too.  So with prayer and wise counsel and the blessing of my husband, I went for it and tried a pilot coaching program for men. Amazingly, every single man got amazing results (even though only 1 went through the course -- and she didn't know he did it!) Glory to God. From there, we've tweaked and updated and, by God's grace, are at a place where God is doing miracle after miracle here.  Would love you to hear Aaron's story of the pursuit of God's way in his marriage. As a pastor, he likely had to grapple with this question -- is it ok to be trained by a woman in this topic? And he decided the answer should be yes. You're welcome to check out our convictions surrounding Women in Leadership, here.  And the Lord worked in his heart and in his marriage -- even though only he did the work. We are so excited to share his story with you! Would love to work with you too! delightyourmarriage.com/cc for next steps. To read an AI generated summary, click here.   Belah  

[Belah here - AI was not used to draft or write this description] I have grown in my journey of processing pain. But I still slip up. Today, I want to share with you a recent insight I've received on what I still need God's help to work through.  I hope we can walk together, looking at our Savior, first and foremost to discover His purposes for our suffering.  Your suffering matters.  It matters to God.  It matters in His will.  There is comfort in knowing He has a purpose for it.  I'd love to share what God is teaching me through His word and what I hope will be encouraging for you in your story.  Let us be open to being guided by His Word first and foremost. Let us see His correction as His kindness that leads us to repentence because He is so, so good.    To read an AI generated summary, click here.   Love & sincere prayers for you my precious listeners,  Belah   PS - Quote from a recent graduate:  After being celibate almost a decade, they are now intimate regularly and both are thrilled! Wife: "Overall I'm crazy about the DYM system and process.  It worked for us like nothing else did in our 38 years of marriage." Husband: "I have learned that God is more important than sex. And sex isn't a reward for doing what I should be doing any way" Mic drop. :)   Would love to invite you to be part of the journey! delightyourmarriage.com/cc to learn more.

516-A Pastor with a "Prostitute" Mindset Changed His Ways: Jerry's Story There's a quiet frustration many good men carry. You've tried to talk. You've tried to suggest counseling, books, podcasts—something. You've even tried explaining your heart. And still… she doesn't seem to listen. Doesn't engage. Doesn't change. If that's you, let me say this gently but clearly: God may be asking you to go first. And yes—that can feel unfair. But it is also where real transformation begins. When You Find Yourself Becoming Someone You Didn't Want to Be One husband recently shared that after nearly three decades of marriage and years of faithful ministry, he found himself in a place he never expected. Not because his marriage had been bad. But because it was changing—and he wasn't prepared. His wife's body was changing. Their season of life was shifting. Transitions piled up. And slowly, something in him hardened. He was becoming "grouchy" and "crusty". He said it plainly: "I just didn't like how I was becoming… and I didn't like how I was treating my wife." That awareness matters. Because most men don't wake up one day intending to pressure, resent, or withdraw. It happens subtly—when expectations go unmet and entitlement slowly but surely begins to creep in. A Marriage That Became Transactional Instead of Sacrifical Many men come to this work believing, "If my wife would just listen… if she would just change… then we'd be okay." But here's the truth that was exposed in this man's life: he was living transactionally. "I didn't realize I was living in a transactional relationship until those transactions weren't happening." In other words: I give love → I expect intimacy. I serve → I expect responsiveness. This man had never thought of himself as transactional—until intimacy slowed and frustration surged. That's when God began to do the deeper work. Take the Focus Off Intimacy to Heal Intimacy One of the most countercultural invitations men hear in this process is simple—and deeply uncomfortable: Take your foot off the gas. Not forever. But for now. Because a woman cannot open her body when her heart doesn't feel safe. She needs to feel safe, known, and wholeheartedly cherished—especially in seasons of vulnerability like menopause, grief, exhaustion, or long-term transition. This husband learned that before asking anything of his wife, God was asking him to rebuild safety. And that required humility. The "Prostitute" Mindset Going through the Masculinity Reclaimed process, this man shared something that he learned that changed everything for him: "[Belah said] you guys are treating your wives like prostitutes. And the fact that you are not making them feel safe. You are not making them feel fully known...and you are not wholeheartedly cherishing your wives. Yet, you know, you flip the switch at...10 o'clock, 11 o'clock at night, and you want intimacy, and you're getting grouchy or whatever when that doesn't happen." He had never seen it this way before, and it changed everything for him. It was painful to hear. And necessary. Because intimacy without safety and care doesn't feel like love to a woman—it feels like obligation. Doing the Work Made a Change in Their Marriage This man didn't tell his wife he was doing the work at first. But she noticed anyway. She noticed the listening. The gentleness. The apologies for things that happened years ago. And eventually, she asked. Change preached is often resisted. Change embodied is felt. Yes, intimacy improved. But that's not what this husband points to as the greatest win. He says the real transformation was internal: Healthier expectations A reordered life A clearer understanding of his responsibility as a man Final Encouragement If you're waiting for your wife to change before you soften… If you're tempted to push, convince, or withdraw… If you're tired of feeling unseen… Hear this: God honors the man who goes first. Not the man who wins the argument. You are not alone. And this is not the end of your story. It may be the beginning of the truest work God has ever done in you. You can do this, sir. God bless you!   With love, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS – Ready to take the next step in renewing your heart and your marriage? We would love to chat with you. Schedule a free Clarity Call with one of our Clarity Advisors, who have all been through the program and have been where you have been. It's time to take the leap. PPS – Wondering just exactly how healthy your own marriage is? Are you also surviving instead of thriving? Take our free Marital Health Assessment and see what your marital score is–and how we can help. PPPS – Here is a quote from (another) recent graduate: "We argued a lot. Said hurtful things to each other.  Raised voices in front of the kids.  Less emotional connection generally.  Sex felt merely physical and not emotionally connected...not fulfilling. Usually felt like duty. And I have always been initiating and my wife has often complained about that...[Now], I've become more contented and patient and focused on her needs and a better listener I think.  She says our home has less tension since I've been doing the program.  I take that as a win!  She has initiated twice in the past 2 weeks!  Very rare before this!" (Guest name has been changed for safety and anonymity)

"Marriage First" Makes Your Life Unstable At the end of my life, I want to hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant."  That's the goal that keeps me grounded—and I know many of you share that desire. But here's a hard truth I've learned through years of walking with couples: when our marriage or family becomes our first priority instead of God, everything starts to crumble. Why "Family First" Doesn't Work I once had a conversation with someone I deeply love who said, "You think God has to be first—but I think family should be first." His heart was sincere, but the fruit of that mindset showed otherwise.  When family is first, everything depends on emotions—how your spouse treats you, how the kids behave, whether things feel peaceful at home. That's not stability. That's shifting sand. We see the effects of this all around us. Divorce rates hover around 50%. Even pastors and counselors admit they rarely had a healthy marriage modeled for them.  Most people are doing their best, but without a biblical foundation, their "best" can't hold up when life gets hard. The Biblical Order That Brings Stability Scripture gives us the right order: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself." — Mark 12:30–31 That means I love my first neighbor—my spouse—because I love God. Why do I forgive in marriage? Because God is first.Why do I love my husband well? Because God is first.Why do I serve my family with joy? Because God is first. When we build our lives on that rock, we become steady—even when the storms hit.  Illness, loss, special needs, mental health struggles—these things shake every marriage. But when God comes first, everything else finds its right place. Feelings Aren't God—God's Word Is We live in a "follow your feelings" culture. If you don't feel in love anymore, the world says, find someone new. But feelings aren't truth. God's Word is. You're serving the King of Kings, and your marriage is part of that assignment. Like the Roman soldiers in Gladiator fought for the glory of Rome; as believers, we live for the glory of God. That means our choices in marriage—our words, our intimacy, our tone—should all be for His glory. Believers are called to die to ourselves. That includes our moods and even our sexual desires.  Scripture is clear: "Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time... then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you." — 1 Corinthians 7:5 That's not about coercion or obligation—it's about love expressed God's way.  When I choose intimacy with my husband, it's not because I feel like it every time. It's because I love God. And when I embrace His design with joy, the byproduct is a beautiful, connected marriage. Marriage as a Path to Holiness Author Gary Thomas famously asked, "What if marriage is meant to make us holy, not happy?" The amazing thing is—when we pursue holiness, happiness often follows. That's why we teach the Delight Your Marriage Framework: Husbands need to have respect, admiration, and wholehearted intimacy. Wives need to feel safe, known, and wholeheartedly cherished. We love our spouse in the way they receive love, not the way we prefer to give it. Because real love is about understanding and serving the other. (You can download the full framework at DelightYourMarriage.com/framework.) The Power of God's Word to Transform David Wood—a former atheist and sociopath whose life was radically changed by Scripture. Even after becoming a Christian, he noticed that when he stopped reading the Bible for a few days, dark thoughts would return. That's how powerful God's Word is—it changes us from the inside out. If you're struggling to love your spouse, to forgive, to stay faithful, start here: get your nose in the Word. Not scrolling. Not skimming. Reading. Slowly. With a heart open to hear God. Even one verse a day in a physical Bible can soften your heart. Make it a habit. Let the Word wash over you. Final Thoughts If you have put your marriage above Jesus, it's not too late to turn it around. He is a safe person to put your trust in. You can trust His Word and His design. It is on purpose, for a purpose… and it is Good.   Blessings,   The Delight Your Marriage Team   PS - If you are interested in taking the next step, putting God first, above your marriage, we would love to talk with you. Schedule a free Clarity Call and chat with one of Clarity Advisors. PPS - Want to see this work in your churches? Our In-Person Training is launching nationwide in January and we would love for your church to be a part of it. Click here to learn more. PPPS - Here is what a recent graduate had to say:"The DYM program has helped me grow as a husband and learn how to better serve my wife and our relationship has been growing in all areas as a result.  She just told me this week that she used to feel tension when I came home from work and that tension is gone. Big change which has led to growth for us both. Belah's insights and coaching have been amazing and I've discovered God's purpose for us and our marriage at a new level!  Thanks DYM!"

Arguments that spiral out of control often leave behind words no one meant and wounds that take time to heal. Escalation may feel like “getting it all out,” but according to our guest today, it is actually poison to a marriage. Dr. Kevin Downing, founder of Turning Point Counseling in Southern California, has spent decades helping couples, pastors, and families find healthier ways to connect. His insights on escalation, self-control, and parenting bring both biblical grounding and practical tools. Why Escalation Is “Pure Poison” That Often Leads to Divorce Research from Dr. John Gottman revealed that the type of conflict in marriage can predict divorce. The number one predictor? Escalation. When escalation takes over, brain scans show that the logical, rational side of the brain shuts down. That's why conversations in anger lead to slammed doors, reckless words, or ultimatums. With half the brain offline, no real problem-solving can happen. We often think that the “truth” does comes out during these heated moments of escalation, and sometimes spouses even push each other to the brink in an attempt to "get the truth out." But the reality is, this isn't so. The words spoken at the peak of anger are not reliable and usually bring regret. As Dr. Downing explained, escalation is pure poison for marriage. The Fruit of the Spirit in Your Marriage Scripture gives a different path. Galatians 5 teaches that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. Self-control means more than biting one's tongue; it is the Spirit's power to respond with gentleness when provoked. It is choosing a soft answer when the flesh screams for retaliation. This is what keeps hearts tender and marriages safe. Practical Tools for De-Escalation Dr. Downing offered practical tools couples can use immediately: Use “I” language. Instead of “You're losing it,” say, “I need a few minutes to calm down. I promise to return.” Pause at night. Words like, “I love you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm sure we can work this out” create security before sleep. Reassure often. A 10-second “wedding-vow refresh” can melt deep insecurity: “You're my one and only—for better or worse, for life.” Don't debate history. Replace “I remember it better than you” with “We have different recollections.” Then drop it. Offer a new experience. Arguments rarely change minds, but kindness does. Just as a restaurant replaces a meal instead of defending reviews, a spouse can create change by responding with love instead of debate. How to Be on the Same Page about Parenting Conflict in parenting can be just as destructive if spouses are not aligned. But, Dr. Downing emphasized that parenting plans should not be created in the heat of a crisis. An argument is not the time to create a parenting plan, just like the middle of a storm is not the time to create a rain plan. You want to do these things outside of the state of chaos. Instead, couples should sit down calmly after the crisis is done and start with the big picture. What goals do you have for your children? You may ask yourselves: Do we want our children to be God-loving? Self-supporting? Respectful? Loving toward siblings and connected to church? Agreeing on these goals allows a united front in daily decisions. One of the greatest gifts for children is seeing parents present a unified approach. Correcting a spouse in front of the kids undermines authority and invites manipulation. Behind closed doors, differences can be discussed and resolved without giving children the leverage to divide. The Two-Minute Timeout Dr. Downing also shared a simple, powerful discipline tool for parenting: the two-minute timeout. When a child disobeys, responds disrespectfully, or hits a sibling, the consequence is two minutes with two questions: Why were you in timeout? Will this behavior happen again today or tonight? To establish safety and connection, younger children are also given a hug afterward. This short, consistent approach helps children take ownership while keeping parents calm. It prevents long punishments that discourage, as well as shouting matches that model escalation. In fact, the timeout often benefits the parent just as much—allowing emotions to cool so rational thinking returns. By the time children reach their teens, the drill is so familiar that a simple question—“Do you need a timeout?”—is usually enough to prompt self-correction. Final Thoughts Every couple disagrees sometimes, and every parent has those chaotic moments—but they don't have to end in distance or regret. Escalation will always push hearts apart, but Spirit-led self-control and kindness can draw them close again. The beautiful truth is that transformation doesn't always come through big, complicated steps. Often it's the small, intentional choices—pausing before speaking, offering reassurance instead of accusation, giving a child two minutes to reset—that shift the entire atmosphere of a home. Each moment of choosing gentleness over escalation is an invitation for God's presence to flood your marriage and your family. You can do this. God bless you!   With love, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - For more information on Dr. Kevin Downing and his work, please visit turningpointcounseling.org PPS - Interested in some free resources? Check out delightyourmarriage.com/downing for a downloadable bundle including resources mentioned in today's podcast. PPPS - Did you get a chance to check out the Midlife Summit? They are doing an encore presentation this weekend and it is not too late to catch it! Come check out Belah and other coaches as they share insight on hormones, intimacy, and all things midlife. Click here for more info. PPPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "When we did talk it would often end with blaming each other and an argument.  I believed that if my wife could just be more affectionate and loving our marriage would be much better.  I quickly realized in the first few weeks of MR, that when I take the lead to make her feel safe, cherished, and heard, she responds by being kinder and more loving towards me."

499-Sinful v. Holy Fierce Intimacy I was confused. There I was a new bride, having saved myself for marriage… only to find out that my new husband wanted me to do SINFUL things. Where did he get all this “inspiration” anyway? Oh, I knew: sinful places. So, of course, I refused. And of course, it brought mutual anger (covering each of our hurt). What's your story? If it's even remotely like mine, I needed to change the lens in which I was viewing sex. I wasn't viewing sex from a biblical standpoint. I was viewing sex from a sexually perverted lens. (Even though I saved my sex for marriage, I certainly received messages from the world that perverted the purity and unashamedness that is meant to be in the bedroom.) I was thinking about a sinful visual I had, at some point, encountered that I knew was wrong. Instead of recognizing the COMPLETELY different and HOLY context of my marriage, I decided the act was associated with my experience that was not God's will. Maybe you've gone through something profoundly tragic, if so, my heart goes out to you. And now you're married and there are so many things that feel hard to move towards because of the past. There is hope. Hope for healing and even hope for desire. Be washed by truth. That's my aim in this conversation. That you will realize that our God is a God of intimacy and freedom in your marriage. When you wash your mind with the truth of His design within the marriage bed, may you slowly wade (or dive in) into the waters of marital intimacy and find out it's nice and warm (with your spouse

La empresaria Isabella Chams conversó con La W sobre su línea de productos de maquillaje.

Reported incidents of hatred are on the rise, and key organisations say they are just the 'tip of the iceberg'. What's driving the increase? - Insiden kebencian yang dilaporkan terus meningkat, dan organisasi-organisasi kunci mengatakan bahwa ini hanyalah 'puncak gunung es'. Apa yang mendorong peningkatan ini?

Tam bir yıl önceydi. Gazze Şeridi'nin kuzeyinde yaşayan ve 7 Ekim'den sonra İsrail'in saldırıları başlayınca yerlerinden edilen diğer insanlar gibi evlerini terk eden Muhammed el-Kumsan ile Cumann Arfa çifti daha iç kesimlerdeki Deyr el-Belah'a yerleşmişlerdi. Henüz bir yıllık evliydiler.

Tam bir yıl önceydi. Gazze Şeridi'nin kuzeyinde yaşayan ve 7 Ekim'de İsrail'in saldırıları başlayınca yerlerinden edilen diğer insanlar gibi evlerini terk eden Muhammed el-Kumsan ile Cumann Arfa çifti daha iç kesimlerdeki Deyr el-Belah'a yerleşmişlerdi. Henüz bir yıllık evliydiler. İkisi de eczacılık yapıyor ve anne-baba olmak için gün sayıyorlardı. Artık bir apartmanın en üst katındaki köşe dairede oturuyorlardı. Şimdilik daha güvenli bir evdi. İşte o gün gelmiş ve 10 Ağustos'ta biri kız diğeri erkek ikiz bebeklerini kucaklarına almışlardı.

Fall in Love With Your Spouse Again: Kay's Story Marriage is one of God's most beautiful gifts—and one of His most powerful tools for growth and sanctification. But even after decades of love and commitment, many couples find themselves asking the quiet question: What happened to us? Maybe you're feeling distant from your spouse. Maybe you're still under the same roof—but it feels like you're living parallel lives. Maybe you've stopped hoping things can change. That's where Kay was after 33 years of marriage. But her story is a powerful reminder: It is possible to fall in love again—and to restore love in a marriage that feels broken. When You Feel Stuck in Your Marriage Kay and her husband had built a wonderful life: children, a family business, retirement, and shared dreams. But beneath it all, their connection was quietly dissolving. Kay shared with us, “We weren't arguing every day, but there was tension. There was distance. He finally told me, ‘If this is what the next 20 years are going to look like—I don't want it.'” Their marriage wasn't hostile—but it was cold. No more playfulness. No more laughter. And for Kay, no clear idea of what to do next. Christian Marriage Healing Starts in the Heart One night, Kay came across our podcast. She listened to a wife share her story—and saw her own reflection in the words. That night, she played the episode for her husband. Both of them ended up in tears. That was the moment God began softening her heart. But what came next wasn't a joint effort. It wasn't couples therapy. It was one wife, taking one faithful step forward. Kay didn't wait for her husband to change. She didn't try to force him into a process. She simply said yes to the work God wanted to do in her. And that's what began to heal everything. How to Save Your Marriage Alone—One Surrender at a Time There's a common lie in marriage restoration: If my spouse won't change, there's no hope. But Kay's story offers a different story: Sometimes the most powerful transformations happen when one spouse surrenders first. As she worked through the DYM program, she began seeing all the ways she had unintentionally pushed her husband away—through resentment, control, harshness, and silence. “I didn't realize how disrespectful I had become. How little admiration I showed. I had no idea how my own attitude was closing his heart off from me.” Through prayer, scripture, and community, God began to soften her heart. And without pushing, demanding, or even explaining—it softened his too. “He started coming home earlier. Laughing again. Helping more. And I never once asked him to.” When you let God begin with you, healing has a way of rippling outward. Biblical Marriage Advice for Wives Who Feel Disconnected When you've been married a long time, it's easy to assume the disconnection is just part of life. But biblical marriage advice doesn't teach resignation—it teaches hope, humility, and the power of the Holy Spirit to change hearts. If you're feeling distant from your spouse, here are some biblical truths and tools Kay leaned into: Let go of resentment. Carrying old pain closes the heart. Forgiveness opens it again. Replace criticism with admiration. Notice what your spouse is doing right. Thank them. Respect them—even when it feels hard. Spend time with God. Let His Word renew your mind and fill the empty places. Healing starts vertically before it ever flows horizontally. Surrender the outcome. You can't control your spouse—but you can invite God to transform you. “I realized this wasn't just Christian wife marriage help—it was God restoring my identity and softening my heart.” How to Reconnect After Years of Marriage When you've shared decades together, the idea of starting over may feel impossible. But learning how to reconnect after years of marriage isn't about erasing the past. It's about allowing God to do something new with the years ahead. Kay didn't try to recreate her early romance. She let God build something deeper, wiser, and more joyful than before. After 33 years, their hearts are tender again. Their home is peaceful. And their future is bright. When You Don't Feel Loved in Your Marriage—There Is Still Hope For so many, the pain isn't anger—it's loneliness. The ache of not being seen. Not being pursued. Not feeling cherished. If that's where you are—when you don't feel loved in your marriage—you are not disqualified from healing. Kay didn't feel loved when she started this journey. But as she learned to love God more deeply, and love her husband with grace and strength, she began to feel loved again too. Not because she was striving. But because she was surrendered. Christian Wife Marriage Help That Changes Everything Kay thought she was doing this program to fix her marriage. But God used it to fix something deeper: her heart. She discovered that Christian marriage healing isn't just about relationship tools. It's about identity. Surrender. Courage. And the quiet willingness to say, God, start with me. Friend, if your marriage feels cold, quiet, or disconnected—you're not alone. If you're longing for intimacy, peace, and laughter again—it is not too late.God is able. He is faithful. And your best years together could still be ahead. With love, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - If you're ready to take the next step in healing your marriage, we would love to chat with you. Schedule a free Clarity Call with one of you Clarity Call Advisors today. PPS - Like what you hear? Wish your church was teaching something like this? Well, it can! To learn more about the Church Training program we are developing, check out Delight Your Marriage Church Training PPPS - Here is a quote from (another) recent graduate: "Lack of sexual intimacy and communication. No variety in sex...I felt like my wife did not care about me. I had stopped initiating and I felt discouraged...Unhappy and unfulfilled would be the best words to describe my feelings but I tried to keep the feelings buried. [Now, my wife] gives me joy that pours into our marriage, my love for God, my family and others. God is love and I can better comprehend it when I am loved by my wife. Belah has transformed my life. I will never be the same. She has given me joy, hope, confidence and the realization that it is OK to be a man!"

We've talked about the fact that many women struggle to ‘flip the switch' and enjoy married sex, and we've talked about what might contribute to that. But we haven't talked about what husbands can do to help their wives enjoy sex. Juli shares a conversation from Gary Thomas' Podcast where she was a panelist alongside Debra Fileta and Belah Rose.   Host: Gary Thomas   Featured Speakers: Dr. Juli Slattery, Debra Fileta, MA, LPC and Belah Rose   Gary's Website: garythomas.com Gary's Newsletter: garythomasbooks.substack.com   Book: Married Sex by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta, MA, LPC Book: Rethinking Sexuality by Dr. Juli Slattery Book: God, Sex and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery   Juli's Website: authenticintimacy.com Debra's Website: debrafileta.com Belah's Website: delightyourmarriage.com   Please support Joy and Zack Skarka on GoFundMe   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

Getting out of your bed in the morning requires motivation. Doing your work requires motivation. Sacrificing for your spouse the way God asks us to, requires motivation.   You may be motivated by external forces like your boss, achieving certain bank account numbers, or a personal feeling of accomplishment. Those aren't necessarily bad. But if you're having trouble with motivation for the things that are most important in your life: God, marriage, kids... this episode is for you.    There are two encouragements Jesus gives us that can really help with your motivation to do what is most important:    1- The parable of the Three Servants (Matt 25: 14 - 28)   2- Come to me and I will give you rest -- the burden I give you is light (Matt 11: 28 - 30)   The parable talks of three servants entrusted with money while the master went on a long trip. One was entrusted with 5 bags of silver, another with 2 bags of silver and the last with 1 bag of silver. When the master returned, two of the three had "worked" and "invested" which doubled their silver. But the servant with just 1 bag didn't even try. He was in self-pity, covetousness and fear. The master called him wicked and lazy.    May we not fall into the trap of  a - Self-pity: aka pride, because we SHOULD have a better circumstance. God SHOULD have given us better.  b - Covetousness: looking at someone else's perceived lot in life and crave it c - Fear: Our perspective of God is harsh and unfair so we are paralyzed to try.    Instead, let us look forward to hearing our master's praise. Let us be motivated by the anticipation of seeing God on that day say "well done!" and lavish praise on us for doing what He has asked us to do with what He has entrusted to us.   If this feels like such a heavy weight right now, I want you to be encouraged by the second portion of scripture where Jesus invites us to come to Him with our burdens. And learn from Him. And gain insight on what He ACTUALLY is asking of us. Not to carry the whole world -- but to gain insight into what His burden for us to carry actually is -- which Jesus says "is light".    Come to Him with your burden.    Don't let the enemy tempt you with self-pity, coveting, or fear. Instead, come to Jesus and gain His strength so you can hear "Well done! Good. Faithful. Servant".   In the episode, I give practical outworkings of all of this and I hope it's an episode that will give you a pep in your step and a zing of motivation to do what God is asking of you in your relationship with Him, in your relationship with your spouse and those entrusted to your care.    Love and Blessings, Belah

We had the best of intentions when we cleared out the traps and critters from this Belah'dian temple to Azeyma. All we accomplished though was fostering a false sense of security - which was promptly shattered when some opportunistic tomb robbers blundered into the temple. Now, another round of wards and wardens has cropped up, trapping the lead researcher inside! Are we able to undo our mess? Find out in this hard version of the Sunken Temple dungeon in Final Fantasy XIV!   You can reach us at: https://discord.gg/SUHTBVMVxj  podreturnffxiv@gmail https://www.patreon.com/Podreturnffxiv https://bsky.app/profile/podreturnffxiv.bsky.social   FINAL FANTASY is a registered trademark of Square Enix Holdings Co., Ltd. © SQUARE ENIX CO., LTD. All Rights Reserved. Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/fernweh-goldfish/skippy-mr-sunshine License code: 91CJGK73DTQIXILK https://uppbeat.io/t/danijel-zambo/fairytales License code: PQ1IMSLKP0XTU1IC

It's so easy to focus on the weaknesses of your spouse.  In fact, it's one of the easiest things to do when you think of them, but if you can imagine being in your spouse's shoes, everything you say and do, picked apart and looked at under a magnifying glass… That doesn't help them live their best life and thrive.  I invite you to instead accept your spouse‘s weaknesses. They have them. You have them. And look instead at their strengths. Notice what they're doing right and comment on it. Today. I'm joined by my husband, Dario, who is an amazing father and amazing husband. I'm very honored to walk this road of life alongside him. But he sees me at my very worst and he accepts those weaknesses, but he also supports me in them. So, like many of you, I can be on my screen too much or not want to go to sleep on time amongst other weaknesses… And my husband is so gracious, gentle, but also responsible to help me do what I need to do to live my best for God. I invite you to support your spouse and their weaknesses, but also really focus on their strengths and help them to realize the good that God has placed in them. I hope even this weekend you will have more grace for your spouse and focus on the good in them.    God bless you!    Love,    Belah

Is it true? Are you sure it's true? How often do we ask these questions when an anxious thought comes to our mind? Too often we allow ourselves to assume a thought is true and allow the anxiety to drive us to choices we don't want to make.  Anxiety is fear. Stress is masked fear. And controlling or mothering behavior... yep... it's also fear. The Bible is crystal clear: Do not fear. Be anxious for nothing. If you want to break free from this snare, it starts with 1) calming your physical body 2) investigating the mental tapes playing in your mind. What anxious thoughts have you allowed to run your life? ‘I'm not good enough' 'I'm a failure as a husband' "My husband doesn't love me"  Whatever it is, I challenge you to investigate those thoughts. Get curious about your anxiety. When you work on acknowledging and understand your fears, you build the resilience needed to face them, biblically. It's not about denying the struggle; it's about leaning in and clarifying what is actually going on.  This is a technique adapted from Byron Katie, and it is a series of questions you ask yourself.  A - What mental tape am I repeating? B - Is it true? C - Am I absolutely sure it's true?  There are a couple more steps we talk through in the podcast, which I'm very excited for you to listen to!  May God give you grace to walk in His abundant peace and comfort.  Love, Belah and Team   PS - If you want help rewriting that mental tape and want help getting rooted in the truth of Scripture and your marriage, we would love to talk to you. Please contact us at delightyourmarriage.com/cc   PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: “[Some of my] quick fire celebrations: -The peace God has bestowed upon my marriage, life, house, and children since walking through this course -The new refreshed hope I have in Jesus -Praying and reading my Bible and actually getting together with people who love and believe in Jesus. I was repulsed by Christians for a while but I now see value in community after doing this course.  -The way I've grown to know what God thinks about marriage and life in general. He actually wants to make it easy and wants to help us not make us work hard or struggle like slaves for the sake of marriage. HE REALLY IS GOOD.”

In honor of Darcy's anniversary this week, I wanted to re-release this episode! I'm excited to share that my wonderful friend Darcy is here to share her story and advice for you! She is actually our wonderful Office Manager, and she reads all of your emails and prays for all of those who are suffering and in such difficulty in their marriages. She often weeps for you, listeners, and she truly, truly cares about you and feels your pain for those of you who are in need of hope. Her conversation today reflects what God has done in her and what she prays He does in you. The rest of this message are from Darcy: — Thank you, Belah, for giving me this opportunity.   God is doing and has done so many amazing things and what an honor to testify of His power, love, and goodness! *“Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name, I will lift up my hands.” Ps. 63:3-4   I pray that God speaks to and encourages many weary hearts through this podcast. “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” Prov. 13:12   This is my prayer for you: Father, thank You for the one listening to this podcast. Thank You that You know them…intimately! You know how many hairs are on their head. You know their hurts, desires, and joys. You desire good for them and desire them to know and experience You and Your love in ways that will reveal to them the abundant life that You have offered to any who will come to You in faith in Jesus and walk in the power of the Spirit of God. Father, you see the tears. You see the brokenness. Even more incredibly, You care about them and have the power to do something good with them. God, You know that we so often want to run from hurt and pain! Teach us to trust You…to take You at Your word…   I encourage you to read this scripture as though you've never read it before: *”For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Rom. 8:18-28   Thank You, Father, that You NEVER lie! Thank You that we can cling to You and Your promises through every storm, every hurt, every disappointment, and everything that we face on this planet! People may fail us, but You NEVER do!  You use the trials and pain to teach us greater things. You may seem far off at times, yet You are more interested in the details of our lives than we could ever imagine! Teach us to relinquish everything we hold onto to You, trusting that You will never disappoint…we wait on You. …in Jesus' name, I ask this, amen.   So, dear listener, remember: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Ps. 34:18 * ”Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Ps. 37:4    And let me ask you: How long was Joseph a slave and a prisoner? How long did David wait for the throne or Abraham and Sarah wait for a son? How long were the Jews in captivity? Hebrews 11 tells us that some died not yet having received the promise, yet they looked forward in faith and believed what God said. God asked Abraham to sacrifice the fulfillment of His promise – Isaac. Abraham was willing. He even got up early the next morning to do so. Likely not because he felt like it or wanted to, but because he believed God.   Husband…wife…are you willing to believe God? Are you willing to sacrifice what you hold dear and trust God to deliver on His promises regardless of how bad things look and regardless of how long it takes?   Faith fleshes out in obedience. Because Abraham believed God, he acted like he believed God. What does that look like for you in your situation today?   He is worthy! He is faithful! You and I can bank on it!   Grateful for His presence and His great and precious promises, Darcy Office Manager *(All verses are in the ESV Bible version – emphasis mine)   PS If you would like to grow in your walk with God in many various ways, and particularly how that relates to your marriage, we invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call with our very caring Clarity Call advisor – click here to schedule   A testimonial from a course graduate: “I was very, very nervous to try this program out. My wife still doesn't know about my involvement and I was very nervous about doing this without her knowledge. But it has really exceeded any expectations I had about what might happen in my marriage. I do believe I will talk with my wife about MR, in the right time, and I think it will go just fine. But if that is the reason you are hesitating, I can tell you…it really can work!”

For the past 30 years, she has tried everything to try and connect with her husband. It left her feeling lonely inside her own marriage. Tanya is a woman who feels deeply. She is wired to feel the world and those around her in a deep, empathetic way. But this is not the way her husband was wired. Since the beginning of their marriage, Tanya has felt a disconnect and a dismissal of her emotions.  Her husband went looking for marriage help and found the Delight Your Marriage podcast. Through the podcast, he was inspired to join the men's program and that is when their marriage really began to change. She was shocked when she noticed he started listening more intently, he became more tender, and they would go on walks in the park holding hands together- something that had been missing since their dating days. This inspired Tanya to do the women's program and "jump in with both feet", willing to let this program change her the way it had changed her husband. Now, their marriage has flourished. Tanya never thought it would be possible, but here they are, more connected than ever before. She said she feels "let out of prison". The depression has lifted and she has hope for the future for the first time in so long. We believe Tanya's story will encourage you and inspires hope in you for your journey! Love,  Belah & Team  PS - If this story resonates with you and you want to see a change in your marriage as well, we would love to talk with you. Contact us at delightyourmarriage.com/cc for a completely free Clarity Call. (A call Tanya says is still impacting her even now.)   PSS - Here is a quote from a (different) recent graduate: Before the Delighted Wife Program: "We were planning on how to keep a family together while breaking our family up - We were at the end of ourselves and decided it was time to give up and go our separate ways." After: "WHERE DO I BEGIN!!! I have grown in patience, perspective, my faith and connection with God, my understanding of my husband, and peace.  I have learned how to build my marriage.  Building it is now a journey and no longer an intense, overwhelming mission impossible...  Biggest take away from this whole course is the GOD FACTOR.  Belah always pointed us to Jesus NOT to a strategy or an idea or concept.  It was directly and purely to JESUS.  He was the main focus, and everything else just fell  into place.  It helped me to re-center everything in my life."

 "Throughout all of history, it is clear that humans naturally are humble, self-sacrificial, and want to be of service to others" ...said no one, ever.    That is the right heart and mindset but it must be chosen and cultivated. When we look back at our lives the things we are most proud of are not what came easily. We are most proud of what was difficult, what took sacrifice and what was in service to something bigger than ourselves.  By nature, we don't want to do "hard". Easy SEEMS better in the short-term, but when we choose the hard, we look back and see a life of meaning and purpose.    As a wife, it's not easy to reject the lies that society feeds us nowadays, here are a few: Lie - "Men and women are the same" The problem is if we're the same then we'll expect to give and receive love the same way. So, if a wife doesn't need sex to feel loved, she'll be bitter that her husband can't live without it. The truth sets us free. And the truth is men and women are designed differently -- equal in value and dignity but different in the ways we receive love (among other things).   In today's episode here are a few other lies we'll go into: Lie - Don't do things for others that you don't want to do... ever (otherwise that's oppression) Lie - Be true to your feelings at all costs (to do otherwise is inauthentic and essentially immoral) Lie - Stay married only if you consistently feel "in love" with your spouse (regardless of kids) Lie - Don't push yourself toward intimacy, if you aren't spontaneously feeling it, otherwise it's oppressive and BAD BAD BAD I'd like to clarify this last point lest you not listen to today's episode. When I push myself towards the gym because of a doctor's wisdom, am I oppressing myself? Is the doctor oppressing me for suggesting such a gruesome and heinous encouragement that could leave me sore and in discomfort for days... No--I'm grateful he told me the truth so I can have the results he knows I want: health and well-being. Ultimately, if I do push myself to go to the gym, I feel a LOT better once I'm there and started. In the same way, if it is true and wise and good to go towards intimacy in marriage -- regardless of how I feel naturally -- I can change my attitude and go towards this gift that God has given. And generally with the right attitude, I'll start to enjoy it in the midst.  The beautiful part about sex is when you sacrifice your feelings and wants for the good of God's plan for your marriage, you can actually start to enjoy, love, and relish in His good gift of intimacy! It all starts with a choice to say "Not my will, but Your will be done in my life". Love,  Belah   PS - If you are wanting to improve your marriage and have deeper intimacy with your spouse, we would love to talk with you. Please feel free to contact us at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to schedule a free Clarity Call. PPS - Here is a quote from one of our recent graduates: "[Before the Delighted Wife Program], My husband and I were at the brink of complete and utter separation.  We were not communicating.  There was anger and yelling and volatile behavior.  We were not even sleeping in the same bed, in the same room. I was feeling absolutely helpless and broken.  I feared for the future and for what would happen to our family. My health was being affected and all of the struggles were really destroying both of us.”   After DW: “Through the program, I realized that first, my husband is different than I am.  Second, I learned that I was not respecting, admiring, or being wholehearted in my approach to intimacy.   Third, I learned that the improvement that God was effecting for our marriage needed to begin with one of us and that it was me who needed to start… I learned to see my husband through God's eyes and am determined to love him with all of his strengths and weaknesses without wanting any change but instead being grateful for all that he is in my life… All of the realizations and truths spoken by Belah and validated Biblically, helped me see the errors of my ways and how I was impacting our marriage and even the past hurts and how our marriage was heading for destruction.  Delight Your Marriage opened my eyes to what the Lord has in store and has filled me with so much hope. Through the tools of the program, I have been able to see the improvements that have been affected almost miraculously.  To God be the Glory!!!”

When you see everyone else has great intimacy except you, how can you survive?  How can you live without this vital need being met (as God even designed it)?  I hear you. It's painful.  It really is.    In this conversation, I hope you will feel encouraged and supported and also feel that God does care and there is direction. Blessings,  Belah   PS - Do you want to improve your marriage? Do you want to see a move of God in your own life and in the life of your spouse, family, and friendships? We want to help you. Check out this link to schedule a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "[Before the Masculinity Reclaimed program], I was stuck in the sin of self pity.  We were not enjoying each other's company. Our youngest two children were noticing, and it was not the examples we wanted to be showing them. [After the MR program], I have become more thankful. I learned to focus on the positives. I have learned to become a better listener. I understand my wife's needs better.  Because of past disappointments my wife was not my #1 priority after the Lord. Now she is... There is so much in this program that is good.  I loved Belah's insights for each guy during each week's coaching call. I believe she is relying on the Holy Spirit for wisdom and it shows with each guy's reactions and progress."

Hey Friend! Could your marriage use a spark of joy and a deeper connection? My guest this week is  Belah Rose, the heart behind Delight Your Marriage Ministry, who guides us toward a relationship brimming with love and intimacy. With candid revelations from her own life's journey, Belah gets to the heart of what women and men truly need from their partners.  Discover how the quest for emotional safety and respect can build a harmonious marriage, and learn why recognition is pivotal in nurturing the bond between spouses. Whether you're trying to rekindle passion or enhance the love you already share, Belah's insights promise to lead you to a more playful, purposeful, and passionate partnership. Forgiveness and healing take center stage in our discussion on the less-talked-about aspects of married life. We navigate the tough terrain of forgiving our spouse, highlighting how this leap of faith can sow the seeds for trust and reconciliation.  Join us for an episode that's not just about surviving marriage but thriving within it together! Xo, Donna Donna's Resources: Order a copy of my new book -  Healthy Conflict, Peaceful Life: A Biblical Guide to Communicating Thoughts, Feelings, and Opinions with Grace, Truth, and Zero Regret.  It is available anywhere books are sold, but here is the  link on Amazon.  If you need a helpful resource for someone exploring faith or Christianity or simply want to strengthen your knowledge, you'll want a copy of my book, Seek: A Woman's Guide to Meeting God. It's a must for seekers, new believers, and those who want to be more confident in their faith.  Connect with Belah  Website: https://delightyourmarriage.com/  Check out her podcast - Delight Your Marriage   Connect with Donna Instagram:  @donnaajones Website:  www.donnajones.org   Twitter:@donnajonesspeak      Donna's speaking schedule: https://donnajones.org/events/  For a copy of “15 Things, Jesus Would Say to You if You Met Him for Coffee,” go to www.donnajones.org/blog     

A man of God, in ministry, spreading the gospel, and without even realizing it, he had allowed his marriage to slip into a transactional relationship.  After being married for nearly thirty years, Mark saw in himself that he was starting to become more grouchy, their connection waned, and his wife's physical desire changed as she began to go through menopause. Their four children were “launching well” but would soon be completely out of the house – changing the home dynamic completely.  All of this put a strain on their marriage. They were now in uncharted territory and he knew he needed help. Mark felt he needed to lead as the man, but just didn't know how. He had been considering the men's program for about a year and finally decided to move forward. Through the program, we were able to help shed light to remove the things that were straining his marriage - going from transactional to selfless- and give him the tools to connect with his wife, even in the midst of all their changes.  He finally felt he had the tools to be the man his wife needed him to be, so she could fully trust him and be free around him. We are so excited to share Mark's transformation story and hope that it resonates with you. If there is anything to take away, it is that you are not alone.  If you are a soon-to-be empty nester, if you're navigating your wife's menopause, if you are finding yourself discontent and you don't want to be- we would love to help you too. delightyourmarriage.com/cc God bless you!    Love,   Belah and team   PS - Like Mark, if you'd like to find out if the men's program would be your right next step, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for a free Clarity Call. Maybe you'll be the next success story!  Here's another recent graduate's comments: Before the Men's program: “The emotional disconnection led us to a growing sense of distance.  Physical intimacy had always been a regular part of our relationship, but there always seemed to be something missing… There was also difficulty about sharing vulnerable feelings and emotions for both of us.  It was just a pattern of stuck-ness.  Things might improve for a few weeks or months, but we would inevitably feel stuck again… All in all we were headed into a pretty 'lifeless' future together, that neither of us wanted or were excited about.” After: “I find myself actually wanting to know about my wife.  The listening skills have helped me to express my interest in ways that she can receive and helped me learn how to receive her more fully… I am able to express delight in my wife through compliments more naturally… There has been a bit of fun flirtiness that has never been a part of my relationship with my wife… I am free from most of my sex-related anxiety.  I was constantly worried about when or if we would be physically intimate… I don't think I have ever been more intoxicated by her body, while at the same time I see each opportunity to enjoy her as a fabulous gift.I am so free to express my desire for her in ways that she loves hearing, without pressure or expectation, but with authentic desire for her.”

Tom felt like his marriage was good, but knew it could be better. His wife was his best friend, but he was craving romance and passion in their marriage.   After stumbling upon Delight Your Marriage through a Google Search and taking our free Marital Health Assessment, he realized that the marriage he thought was “good” was actually only just “okay” and ended up scoring a 5 out of 10 in the Marital Health Assessment (delightyourmarriage.com/health).    He knew it was time for a change, so he signed up, hoping his wife would take the course at some point. Because that's what needs to happen… right? ;)    Well, Tom found out, like all of our MR Graduates do, that change begins with ourselves.    And as he took the course and began to implement the principles, he in fact, did see a change in his wife!    She became more flirty and playful and the romance and passion that Tom had been wanting finally happened in their marriage after 4 decades!    All because he decided to take the leap, take the Delight Your Marriage course, and truly implement what he learned.   We know that God is in the business of transformation and He LOVES transforming marriages because the impact goes much further than just an individual couple.  Love,  Belah & team   PS -  If you are like Tom and feel like your marriage is pretty good, but also feel like there could be more, we want to invite you to listen to this episode and to take our free Marital Health Assessment (delightyourmarriage.com/health).  PPS - And just the way Tom started, we would love to chat with you on a free Clarity Call! delightyourmarriage.com/cc  

Have you ever not done something because of fear? Have you ever done something that felt right at the time, but you were riddled with fear and anxiety later?   Have you ever felt you had more potential than you were living into? Welcome to human nature.  But is that what he should do?  Is that living according to our fears or God's will and His way?  I don't think so.  Instead, the Bible says it's impossible to please God without faith. (Heb 11:6) You might wonder:  Is it required to have faith for your marriage to change? YES. Even Jesus could do no mighty miracles in his hometown because of their lack of faith. (Mark 6:6) Does it mean He will most certainly change your marriage and make you not go through suffering because you have faith? Well, we can look at John the Baptist to see that even if you have faith it's not a guarantee that God will pull you out of the hard situation and cause a miracle. However, the woman with the issue of blood had suffered terribly for over a decade.  She could have allowed her heart to grow calloused toward God and assume He doesn't care.  She could have decided things will never change.  She could have resigned herself to a life that would never get better.  But she didn't, she stretched, she pushed through the crowd, she resisted anything that would try to discourage her faith... and by faith, she touched the hem of His garment, believing He could heal her.  And He did.  "Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” (Mtt 9:22)  I want to ask you, when...  When will it matter enough?  When will choosing to notice that God is here wanting to restore, redeem, heal matter enough to you?  When will you see Jesus walking by and reach out in faith?  Resist the enemy's... Fear of being judged.    Fear of loss.    Fear of looking silly.    Fear of being perceived a fool.    Fear of change.    Fear of responsibility.    Fear of taking ownership.    Fear of pain.   I invite you to stand up and choose faith.  Stand up in faith. Reach for His garment. Do not be offended by His response but stay, stay, stay in faith as He might want to do a miracle that you (by your fear) are blocking.  Choose the faith of freedom, hope, joy, love, connection, unity, healing...  Live into the potential life He may be inviting you into. Listen in today: Faith or Fear: When Will It Matter Enough to You? Love,   Belah PS - Marital Health Assessment is a free tool to discover where you are currently in your marriage and to give you a vision of what areas you may be missing and need to gain insight. It also provides free episodes that are uniquely selected for your situation. delightyourmarriage.com/health   PPS - If you're ready to transform your marriage through Christ-centered personal growth... we're here for you: delightyourmarriage.com/cc  We'd love to help.    Quote from a recent graduate heading for divorce: “Delight Your Marriage saved my marriage. It has changed the course of all four of my kids lives. There is now peace in our home and friendship between me and my husband. Without this program I do not think we would have gotten here. I was too stubborn and too hurt.    Belah's teaching were humbling and eye opening to the ways I had repeatedly damaged my husband and the areas I had fallen short as a wife. Both of us have now gone through the program now and I know it was the push we needed to mature and build solid ground for the rest of our marriage.”

Have you ever been in a place where a conflict has absolutely consumed you? Whether you're grocery shopping or with friends, that conflict is just circling over and over in your mind. Maybe you find yourself wondering how you even got there in the first place? And even more so, how to get out of that place? Well, author and speaker Donna Jones is here today to talk about just that.  In her new book “Healthy Conflict, Peaceful Life: a Biblical guide to Communicating Thoughts, Feelings, and Opinions with Grace, Truth, and Zero Regret”, Donna walks us through how to handle conflict with love and grace, how to be an Addresser of Conflict, rather than an Avoider or Attacker, how to lead with listening, and so much more.  We were sad to have this episode end because it was such a treasure! We hope this episode blesses you and brings you and your spouse closer together- shoulder to shoulder, against the problem, rather than against each other. We believe God can heal any relationship and He can use you through His wisdom to do just that. Love, Belah  

Bethany felt like her marriage was a lost cause.  She knew that she and her husband were called to be together, but after years of serving in church ministry, three kids, and infidelity, Bethany and her husband began questioning their promise of “no divorce” and began considering separation.  She knew she needed help. She was desperate. She searched for a Christian answer and found Delight Your Marriage. After listening to the podcast and the testimonies, she felt unsure because the testimonies felt too hard to believe.  “God couldn't do that for me, could he?” But she kept listening until she felt God tugging on her heart telling her it was time. Through Delight Your Marriage, Bethany received encouragement, support, wisdom, and a team of people that was in her corner.    She has seen a transformation in her marriage including surprise flowers and a softness in her husband that she had never seen before. (Not to mention weekly dates! Which was never a thing before!)   We are so thankful to be able to share Bethany's story with you today and know that it is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what God can do in so many marriages.    He is a good, thoughtful, and intentional God.   Blessings,   Belah and team PS - If you'd like help with your marriage, we're here and would love to witness God transform it through the work!  Your next step is a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc As Bethany said, “It truly is a CLARITY call.” PPS - Here is a quote from a (different) recent graduate: BEFORE: “Before DYM, there was a lot of tension and stress in our marriage and disconnect. My husband had affairs and these were replayed constantly in my head… I did not trust him and had not forgiven him. Intimacy felt like something I had to do to keep him somewhat happy.” AFTER: “After going through the program, the stress is gone and replaying the affairs in my head is pretty much gone… I told him I have forgiven him and intimacy is something I desire now and enjoy with my husband. We are both so much happier in our marriage!” Your story can be next, schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Maybe you've done something wrong... Maybe there's a deep discomfort that you keep trying to avoid... Maybe you feel if you let yourself be with yourself quietly, the shame will swallow you whole...   The guilt and shame you feel may be justified.   And that is exactly why we need a sacrifice that allows us to live in confidence and freedom, peace and joy in life.   As followers of Jesus, we don't have confidence that "we're good enough" because of some baseless affirmation.  We have a strong foundation of reason as to why we have confidence.   The truth is, on our own... We aren't good enough.  We don't deserve the goodness God gives us every day. And we don't deserve His sacrifice.    But what we are as Jesus followers are receive-ers.  We are trust-ers.  We are people who say THE event that altered the human race 2000 years ago is WHY I can have freedom from shame.    If you have felt like you've been "paying for" the sin you've committed, it's time to receive the payment from God and start walking in your freedom as His son and daughter.   His payment actually means something in your day to day life.    You can never earn your way into being worthy of His love and goodness, peace and freedom. You get to believe and receive it. He is that good and loving and merciful and kind.   I invite you to let the gift of Jesus' sacrifice move you today. Spend time in the story today and this weekend. Remember and receive His sacrifice for every part of your life and heart.   Love,  Belah   PS - We'd love to walk with you in this journey of living free in Christ, connected with your spouse in passion, purpose, playfulness and doing God's will as man or woman of God. We're here for you, find out the details at: delightyourmarriage.com/cc   PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: DW Before: We were planning on how to keep a family together while breaking our family up - We were at the end of ourselves and decided it was time to give up and go our separate ways. DW After: WHERE DO I BEGIN!!! I have grown in patience, perspective, my faith and connection with God, my understanding of my husband, and peace. I have learned how to build my marriage. ​​ Change starts with me - God can only save my marriage if I am humble enough to surrender and let Him start with ME!!!! ​​Belah always pointed us to Jesus NOT to a strategy or an idea or concept. It was directly and purely to JESUS. He was the main focus, and everything else just fell into place. It helped me to re-center everything in my life.

Únete a nosotros en este emocionante episodio donde nos sumergimos en el fascinante mundo de la belleza y el emprendimiento con Isabella Chams, la mente creativa detrás de Belah Beauty. Desde los desafíos iniciales hasta el éxito arrollador, exploraremos cómo Isabella ha transformado su pasión por la belleza en una marca icónica. Descubriremos los secretos detrás de sus productos más aclamados, como el Liquid Blush y Volumizing Lip Gloss, así como las inspiraciones y visiones que impulsan su innovación en la industria. Prepárate para una conversación inspiradora llena de conocimientos sobre el negocio de la belleza y el poder de seguir tus sueños con determinación. Compra Belah Beauty aqui Instagram de Isabella Instagram fefi Instagram 888-Hotline -> envia tus preguntas aquí

*This podcast contains intimate language and may not be suitable for children's ears.* How's your marriage doing, really? Belah Rose joins our podcast and tells the story of her purity going into marriage, the relational struggles of her first marriage and her solution and now success in her current marriage. She says if she had known the things she knows now about men and women she would have applied that to her first marriage and believes it would have been a successful marriage. She is working on a marriage bundle now that starts with pre-dating to give our kids before they start dating a plan on not falling in love but in how to know yourself and find the person for you. The second book is about dating and the last one is about being engaged. (these last two will be out in 2024) Delightyourmarriage is her ministry and was born- first with a book Delight your Husband found on Amazon which then led to interviewing many wives on their successes and failures in spiritual, emotional and physical intimacy. The connections with wives then became a connection with husbands as Belah shared her findings and now her ministry is made up of more husbands wanting to learn how to be intimate with their wives. Belah shared that men and women are created differently- by God's design so their intimacy needs are very different too. She created a Delight Your Marriage Framework resource that can be downloaded on her website. Here is a summary of the DYM Framework: To feel loved a wife needs to feel known, safe and wholeheartedly cherished Husbands date your wives- set a regular weekly time and a spontaneous monthly time to get to know and cherish your wife. To feel loved a husband needs to feel respected, admired and have wholehearted sexual intimacy Wives don't ‘mother' your husband it disrespectful. Wives have wholehearted sex 2-3 times a week- make your man the happiest man on earth (ONLY you can do that) We wrapped up by having talking about the value of marriage in the family and that it's the most important thing you can do for your children. She shared a quote- the best thing a wife can do for your children is have passionate sex with their father. Check out her resources: Belah Rose's Website Book- Amazon Delight Your Husband: The Christian Wife's Manual to Passion, Confidence, & Oral Sex Podcast- Delight your Marriage Want MORE resources? Join Basecamp Here! Other Resources!

We're all insecure.  I am. You are.    We might not be insecure about the same things, but we've all got it.    Today, I want to talk about the insecurities that are common for women and the insecurities that are common for men. Spoiler alert: they're different.   But the insight most of us miss is that our specific insecurity in marriage actually is harming our spouse.  Because of the way our spouse is designed by God, if there are certain things missing in marriage, it pains them.  Deeply.   This is an episode I hope you'll take to heart.  Your insecurities may be harming your spouse.    Included in this episode: -What are insecurities? -What are yours as a husband or as a wife? -How are they affecting your spouse? -How to move past them? -How to get free of them?   I really hope this helps.    Blessings, Belah   PS - We'd love to have you on the inside of a program and witness God do something amazing in and through you! Delightyourmarriage.com/cc is the place to sign up for a free Clarity Call. When asked how we can improve the program a recent graduate wrote: The course is absolutely brilliant. The course materials (videos and pdfs) are top notch in terms of content, and Belah is totally invested in her teaching and coaching, the content of which is simply superb. It's been meticulously researched. And the materials are attractive and mostly very user friendly.  The accountability groups are a master stroke. Most of all, everything is covered by prayer and led by the Holy Spirit. I can safely say that I have learned more in this course than any course I have done in the past, whether secular or religious. More importantly no course or teaching has effected such a radical change in my character and behaviour as this one. There are very few things that could be improved. Well done Belah and all the team in producing something that is not only very professional, but is an absolute life saver in so many marriages, including mine!

There can only be 1 answer to this question: Yes, or No.    Well, who do you go to to answer questions like this? Do you have a pastor? A friend? A mentor? A favorite author? A researcher? A scientist? A porn counselor? An SA therapist? A previous user? Your own experience? Your own intuition?    Who has the authority in your life to answer this question? Ahem... "the great Belah Rose?"   Just so we're clear, when I said, "Let there be light"... it stayed dark. When your pastor said it... when your favorite author/researcher/friend/counselor/author/confidante said it... probably the same. Maybe there was a window already open, so God's light actually allowed it to be light... but ultimately, they don't have power or authority anywhere, ANYWHERE close to God.   God.    But is He the biggest authority to you?   Does what He says matter to you the MOST?   I invite you to pause. Ponder.  Are His words MOST important? To you?   Let's say, your answer is yes. But then, how do you know what God says... especially about an exclusively 21st-century issue, i.e. porn?   Well, actually it isn't a 21st-century issue. And God speaks about it. Many times. And He clearly answers this question.   I don't know if you want to hear it, but He does speak to it. Before we get there.   In truth... Apathy is easier. Skepticism is easier. Laziness is easier.    But just because you don't care (apathy), or believe (skepticism), or want to (laziness), ...swim away from the impending waterfall,  doesn't mean it won't kill you when you inevitably get to it.     Do you care what the Bible says? Do you believe what the Bible says? Do you want to discover what the Bible says? I had a conversation via email with a dear friend about a year ago. I would love for you to read it to learn why I think the Bible should be pursued, is trustworthy, and can be utterly wonderful for you: delightyourmarriage.com/bible   So, to answer this question... "The great Belah Rose" fears God too much to not tell you:  yes, it is a salvation issue.   "Anyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart... better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." Jesus says it is. We're talking about hell. We're talking about lust. We're talking about salvation. (In Matthew 5:28)     I hope one day this will be true of me... "I never shrank back from telling you what you needed to hear... either publicly, or in your homes [or in your earbuds]. I have had one message... the necessity of repenting from sin and turning to God, and of having faith in our Lord Jesus." Acts 20:20-21     Belah   PS - Next steps: Repent from your sin. Turn to God [i.e. read your physical Bible to learn / discover / encounter who He actually is] and have faith in our Lord Jesus. PPS - There IS hope AND help. Maybe we can help. Jesus most definitely can help! If you'd like to investigate whether or not we can help, we invite you to schedule a free, no obligation Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc  Quote from a graduate of Masculinity Reclaimed: Before MR: "My sex life was a mess before I found DYM. It's really hard to find anyone that will talk to you about sex in a godly way. The world is full of lies, DYM pulls the truth out of the Bible and gives you exactly what you need to get on a healthy trajectory for your marriage and sex life!” After MR: “I think my biggest celebration is just having the weight of discontentment lifted. It is so frustrating and depressing to be constantly dissatisfied with your sex life. It truly is like carrying around a huge weight. To finally be free of that and realize that I could be satisfied and happy without doing anything but changing my heart posture was amazing. I no longer feel like the victim of a bad marriage, but rather the recipient of a blessed marriage!"

As empty nesters, you know how they say you'll enjoy growing old together. Well, Kim says, "We were growing older, but not enjoying it." Kim was suffering in her marriage -- crying on her friend's shoulder. As they prayed that God would change it. Then, that friend told her about the podcast, the one you're listening to.  That friend also told her husband. After hearing all the testimonials, he joined the men's program.  Kim was kind of annoyed that he did this. Because she also listened to a couple of episodes and it pointed to areas of her marriage that she had wounding around. Things turned around... REALLY beautifully.  I know Russ, her husband, and Kim pretty well by now (after two years) and it has been remarkable seeing this couple grow.  Their first transformation story was episode 293 (be sure to check that out!). That was the first time I met Kim.  It's been amazing to have her in the Delighted Wife program and to see what God has done through it. May this story encourage you. There is hope. If you're suffering and crying on a friend's shoulder... you just never know what God might do. We invite you to take the next step and schedule a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc Blessings,  Belah PS - Kim's entire marriage turned around because a friend had the courage to point her to a podcast. What if YOU are meant to be that friend to someone else? I invite you to forward this to someone who may need hope... hope that God still transforms marriages and families. Recent wife grad quote:  "Belah has done the most important thing for me which is change the negative beliefs that I have had concerning my marriage and helped me to see from a renewed perspective which has forever impacted my marriage! Both my husband and I am grateful for what this program has done for us. I have attended many marriage seminars and trainings throughout my marriage and this is by far the best investment I have ever made."

My heart goes out to any wife who has experienced sexual abuse. There are so many layers of pain... it's truly horrible.  As a husband, the evil that was done to your wife harmed her immeasurably. The person you love the most. And it impacted your marriage, your intimacy, and your life forever.    Is healing possible? What if she doesn't "DEAL WITH" her abuse? (Sometimes I hear men say that their hands are tied if she doesn't deal with her trauma.) Can a husband do anything?   I believe Bill's story can give you hope.  He would say, "Yes."    From many years of a full life but an empty marriage, he is thrilled to tell you, there is hope even for your marriage.  He has 43 years under his belt.  He was a self-diagnosed "podcast addict." :) Always looking to FIX his wife. He knew there had to be a solution. But nothing moved the needle ...until Delight Your Marriage.   He said after 3 months of the Masculinity Reclaimed program (MR)... from decades of passionless marriage, they feel "like 60-something teenagers ...we're so in love!"   His wife sent me an email after she heard his interview and she confirmed what he said and shared her sentiments as well. I read that on the podcast as well.    May you be encouraged for yourself or others! (I encourage you to share this with someone who may need exactly this hope and encouragement!) Love,  Belah PS - You're ready to witness God's transformation like Bill? It's as easy as a phone call to a friend, her name is Dana, and she's our Clarity Advisor. :) delightyourmarriage.com/cc  Sign up for a free Clarity Call to help you sort through the hard and gain insight on next steps... possibly with us to have a transformation like Bill's! PPS - This episode made my husband cry... that doesn't happen often. I hope it is healing to your heart like it was to his.  Quote from a program grad: "I would recommend this program to any husband who feels trapped like I did when I first reached out to Belah. I came into this program looking for someone to 'straighten out my wife.' Truth be told, I needed more help then she did. Belah challenged the narrative in my head. She pushed me to be vulnerable and soft and patient - all things that run counter to our culture. It was not always easy. In fact, it was often very uncomfortable and felt silly. But once I realized it wasn't about me and I committed wholeheartedly, I saw my wife begin to change before my eyes. The changes I made in MYSELF changed my wife. It wasn't always easy and it required more patience than I sometimes had, but in the end it was worth it. Every aspect of my relationship with my wife has improved and that was more than I bargained for. I have a greater understanding of who my wife is and why she is so special to both God and myself. Belah didn't fix my marriage - she did something better. She gave me the tools and the guidance to fix it myself, with God's help. This allows me to continually work on it, improve it, and cherish it after my time [in Delight Your Marriage] is over and for that I will always be thankful."

Oh, the pain of frustration, being consistently misunderstood, and having your needs (legitimate needs) consistently trampled upon. Both Jerry and Joyce felt it. And Jerry desperately looked for answers. Delight Your Marriage wasn't his first program -- but unfortunately, the other one gave advice that almost drove his wife to a nervous breakdown.  Jerry didn't get out of his marriage, though his frustration level (due to his hurt) was through the roof.  The pain was so deep for her, she couldn't even attend the church he pastored. Joyce was considering separation and even talking with lawyers.  But then Jerry decided to give Delight Your Marriage a try.  Now... a year later, Joyce not only loves her husband again, but "likes him," too. ("Liking" your spouse can be way harder than "loving" them.) She's actually looking forward to raising their small children together and is happy even being a pastor's wife now.  The healing that has taken place in just over a year, is now impacting every single person in their ministry and family life.  God is amazing and we give Him all the credit for this transformation!  We are honored He has used the programs of Delight Your Marriage to help bring about these changes for them.  If you're at a similar place (or not quite as extreme), then know there is hope for you, too.  There is a price for change like this -- effort, time, financial investment, energy, courage, humility and even getting uncomfortable -- But take it from Joyce... It is worth it.  Your next step is to get on a Clarity Call ( delightyourmarriage.com/cc ) to discover how to change you that will impact all those around you (and specifically your marriage). Love, Belah   PS - Seriously... It's time to discover how you can be the change agent God wants to use to turn your marriage around, so you love AND like your spouse.  delightyourmarriage.com/cc Have a free Clarity Call to gain insight and discern your next steps: delightyourmarriage.com/cc   PPS - If you know a marriage that needs hope like this, will you take the courage and care to forward this episode on? You may be saving a family and faith community in the process.   Quote from a course graduate: "The things that I've learned are really priceless when it comes to my marriage… When I first started this program it seemed like my wife didn't even want to talk to me, much less make love to me.  Man how things have changed...The changes that I see in my wife are nothing short of a miracle, she has went from being cold and callous, To warm and loving!"

This title was hard to come up with.   Essentially, I want you to have the tools and mindset to figure out how to set boundaries with yourself and with others when needed. Jesus was the servant of all.  He came to serve not to be served.  He was the most humble and meek.  And yet, Jesus set boundaries. A lot.  Here are a couple, but once you read this, you'll probably not be able to read a parable or look at the life of Jesus without noticing His leaning into boundaries over and over again.  Jesus disappointed people because his priority was God over people In Mark 1:35-39, Jesus wakes up early to pray, but his disciples come looking for him, saying that "everyone is looking for you." In Matthew 16:21-23,  Jesus tells his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer at the hands of the elders, chief priests, and scribes. Peter rebukes him, saying that this should never happen to him. Jesus responds by telling Peter that he is setting his mind on human things rather than God's things and calls him a hindrance. In Luke 14:25-33, Jesus sets the boundary of the cost of discipleship. He says anyone who wants to follow him, essentially compared to their love for Jesus, must hate their family and even their own life. They must carry their own cross, and give up all their possessions. If they're not willing to pay this price, they can't follow him. In John 2:13-17, Jesus clears the temple of the money changers and merchants, telling them to stop making his Father's house a marketplace. He shows anger and uses physical force to set this boundary. Jesus was the servant of all but did not allow anyone to trod on boundaries.  So, what if you are trodding on God's boundaries? What if your spouse wants to trod on the boundaries set by God? Sexual boundaries?  Disrespect boundaries?  Other boundaries? Should you set boundaries with yourself?  Should you set boundareis with your spouse? If so, how?  Is there a way to have a generous heart and a kind spirit and yet set a firm boundary?    This conversation goes into these things that are HARD to tease through.  I don't think I have it all right. This is a topic that I feel a bit reticent to release. And I think it will require prayer as you discern how it applies to you. And what your next steps are.   Love & Blessings, Belah   PS - Let us know if this topic spoke to you and if we can help, email us at belah at delightyourmarriage.com   PPS - Quote from a program graduate: “I have become a delighted, playful wife that enjoys and desires sex. My relationship to the Lord, my husband and our daughter has become more intimate.”

Pastor David had a rocky start with his marriage.    Facing his hurts wasn't what he actually wanted to do. He was nervous to bring it up to his wife -- they share all their finances. So he brought it up to her and said he wants to transform into the man, husband and father he wants to become.   Even only 4 weeks into the program, Pastor David's wife commented, "I have noticed a change. Keep it up. It was worth the money."   And she is not a physical touch kind of person, which was his highest love language. Yet, even in just those 4 weeks of implementing what was taught in the course, this has increased.   It's hard to face our pain, isn't it! It's tough to be vulnerable about the things we struggle with that are closest to our hearts...yes, it takes courage to open those wounds up so that we can get them healed.   Husband... wife... you don't have to struggle alone. Do you desire to grow but don't have a safe space to be open and real with what is going on in your heart and marriage?   We're here for that...we're a safe place to gently open up that really private, hurting space...or that struggle that you don't dare to share with anyone in your life.   We want your heart to be healed. We want to help you break free from the chains that hold you back. We want to breathe life into your weariness, hope into your despair, and help you be the man or woman of God that you long to be in your marriage and family...and ministry.   There is hope! We invite you to fresh faith and to follow even closer to the One who is THE way, THE truth, and THE life.    We'd love to help. Schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to see if our program would be a good fit for you.   Blessings, Darcy (on Belah's behalf) PS - The Pre-Dating workbook is finally here! If you've been blessed (like David -- who said he already bought 6! and plans to buy more!) by the content from Delight Your Marriage over the years and want to see young people get these tools before they ever get married, get your copy now! https://amzn.to/3NhF8DL

When the crisis occurs outside of your home, if it's not peaceful and healed in your marriage, it becomes an additional stress instead of support in a horrible time. I am not sure if you've lived through war – literally – but if so, you'll relate to Alex. I'll share more about him in a second.   Every member of our DYM team witnessed life transformation in their own marriages (first) and then God seemed to give us a need for a position right as He gave us the person who fits that need.    But with our need for a tech and automations specialist, the expertise was so specific that it was important we go for someone who is foremost extremely good in their specialized field, as we can't risk the infrastructure of the organization to not work correctly.   That's when, last April we hired Alex as our tech and automations consultant. He has amazing experience in the field, with our specific systems, and has worked with hundreds of clients, some businesses making millions per year and one even $50M per year.   It was such a relief to hire him. Purely on a professional level, he has been amazing to work with – hardworking, proactive, humble, responsible, and (shockingly) positive.   But he was living through war.    Literally.   His home is the capital city of Kyiv, Ukraine, which was attacked last February. Since, he has endured this horror at his doorstep.   Eventually, he and his wife were able to escape to Spain but after a couple of months, they returned to Ukraine to help with generators and getting food and clothing to orphans suffering the bitter winter.   As a member of the team – he was the only one who hadn't gone through the program. But unlike anyone who has ever been a candidate for the program, he had seen the full backend. How we handle data, how we set up the program, the many transformation stories and really getting to know our team personally.    He also had an opportunity to decide is now a good time to focus on his marriage and take the Masculinity Reclaimed program.   During war.    He decided...   Yes, it was.   And his encouragement to you is "don't postpone it... as it won't only affect your marriage but it will have a positive effect on your entire life." All in all, there is hope. Even if you're struggling and the battle rages not only outside your home but inside. It is worth it to get your marriage better so you can withstand the difficulties and even literal wars in this life. We would love to help you. delightyourmarriage.com/cc   Blessings, Belah PS - Sign up for a free clarity Call to find out if you're the right candidate to witness the transformation as well: delightyourmarriage.com/cc   Another recent grad wrote:  "I want to reiterate my appreciation of the whole DYM process: from Dana's Clarity Call, Darcy's logistic support, Bob and Russ's guidance, the shared vulnerability and support of the other men, and Belah's profound wisdom through divine inspiration.  I would really recommend this program to all married men.  There is so much wisdom and depth to this program that can be applied to intermarital problems that seem almost universal.   I wish I had this coaching and information 30 years ago."  

If you're a wife...this podcast is dynamite! Wow, I just gotta say...thank You, Lord, for giving our dear Belah such wise insight and for her willingness, humility, and surrender to keep sharing the powerful things that You give her to share with all of us! After listening to this podcast, I feel like I just got a feast at a banquet table!  This is a message that empowers our God-given role as wives, breaks it down in simple, yet incredibly insightful and inspiring ways, AND enlarges the vision for the Kingdom of God and how our role as wives plays such a vital role in it all. I truly hope and pray that this podcast speaks to and encourages your heart as it did mine. This will be one of my favorites that gets repeated many times over! Thank you, Belah! Thank You, Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit for Your work in Your people and the incredible love You have for all of us that You show us the way to abundant life...and it is all though an intimate walk with you...a TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP with The King of Kings and Lord of Lords! What an amazing gift!    Gratefully, Darcy PS The resource Belah mentioned is available at https://delightmarriage.lpages.co/boundaries-in-sex/ PPS If you'd like to schedule a free Clarity Call, we invite you to do so at delightyourmarriage.com/cc   A Delighted Wife client quote:  "I'm so happy that I fought for this marriage. We are much better together than apart. We are an amazing team!"  When asked if she would recommend the program: “Yes! It works! It has transformed my crummy life to an amazing happy fulfilled life.”

Is there dignity in humility?  Is there dignity in humiliation?  Initially, you might think not.    But then we have to take a moment to consider the cross. An excruciating death, reserved not for Roman citizens, but for rebels and slaves...  because it was SO  SO humiliating.   And yet, the God of glory, the One who DESERVES all glory and honor...  HUMILIATED Himself not only to come as a baby, giving up His power, constraining himself to human form, and giving up his rights in an infinite number of ways...   to then suffer the humiliation, the pain...  for the joy set before Him.    Not because we deserved it, ...but because it is a testament to HIS surrender to the Father's will that he endured the cross.    This is why you are humble and a servant to your spouse, ...because humility is the VERY dignity of Jesus.    Humility is what Jesus Himself modeled.    Why do you close your mouth when you want to criticize your spouse? Why do you pause instead of, "let them have it," when they deserve to be dressed down for their bad behavior? Why do you go out of your way to make them feel special, even though they haven't done it for you?  Why do you forgive them for the pain they have caused you?  Why are you joyful even though they don't add to it in the ways they know you'd love?   Because you are walking in the humility that Jesus Himself invites you to.    Every single day, in your marriage, you are invited to walk in His humility.    What does humility look like? Jesus. Was he a pushover? No. Was he passive? No. But was he an extravagant servant? Most definitely.   So, are there boundaries to humility? Yes.    I invite you to have a curious heart if God has something for you here.    I reference the book "Humility," by Andrew Murray, a lot in this episode. I also reference the Bible a lot. (I highly recommend it :)   Love & Blessings, Belah   PS - Have you already downloaded our intimacy framework so that you can love your spouse the way they receive love? If not, go to delightyourmarriage.com/framework   PPS - Are you ready to be the spouse God has called you to be, but need some guidance about what that looks like? Click here to schedule a free Clarity Call to see if our programs could be what you need.   Graduates Testimonial: "I would recommend this program to a fellow Christian who is looking to make their marriage better in all aspects. The intimacy aspect is important but there were so many other ideas and realizations around other ways to better my marriage. I appreciate so much Belah's enthusiasm and honesty. There is a lot of great info and expertise in here. She did an amazing job propping guys up and being positive which was infectious!"  

  This episode was back from the very beginning of 2019. Wow! It's STILL relevant. And even when I re-listened, I was struck by a specific exercise that put life in great perspective. I encourage you to do the same -- for God's glory to ultimately be experienced in your marriage, family, and life! In the long view of your 100 years on earth, what is going to matter in THIS season? I had an abrupt and unsettling realization when I had a parent-teacher conference a few weeks ago. Though I believe I was discerning God's will and way for my life, I don't believe I was pursuing it in God's timing. And that is one of the central themes around today's podcast. What is your season (mine is a quarter inch) in the grand scheme of life? And what matters most right now? From there, what do you do with that understanding? How does it become practical and lived out? Blessings, Belah PS If you'd like to see if we can help you in your marriage, we invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call here. From a Masculinity Reclaimed graduate: “My confidence with my wife is now enabling me to be her rock much more effectively.  (Before DYM [Delight Your Marriage] I would often blame myself and pull away when we had disagreements).   Thank you and Belah and the whole Team for being there!!  God specifically used MR 1 [Masculinity Reclaimed] and 2 [MR Graduate group] to transform me into a much better man and husband in a way I did not think possible!”