Podcasts about everyday hurts

I met Kay at a Poetry Night that a friend, Fi McQuay (ft. Episode no.16) and I organised at my local bookshop on International Women's Day, earlier this year. It was a very special night!Since then it has been lovely to connect more with Kay as fellow Mums and poets and I'm delighted to share this conversation and more about Kay in this episode.In this episode we speak about:Kay's journey with writing poetry and sharing itbirth, motherhood and Kay's experience of Matrescence so farraising children with dual heritagejudgement and racism in society and at schoolsupporting and being advocates for our childrenhow 'we' need to be better at having difficult conversationsapologising with integrityknowing our capacity and not judging ourselvesbusting motherhood myths and the ripple effect of thatKay's video for her poem 'This Is My Body' and working with Her Story and Co.body image and loving ourselves more at any stage/ageThemes: mothering, poetry, matrescence, racism, story writing, boundaries, body image, mental healthYou can connect with Kay and her work here on Instagram. And you can find a link to the amazing video and poem we speak about, 'This Is My Body' here.At the end, I share a poem written by me.I mention my Goddess Circles, and you can find out more about those HERE on my website.I also mention Harriet Lerner's book 'Why Won't You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts'. And 'Eating in the Light of the Moon' by Anita Johnston.Did you enjoy this episode? If so, I would really appreciate it if you could please leave a review on the platform that you listen. Would you like to work with me? Get in touch today to book a FREE 30-minute call.For more insights and to contact me you can find me on Instagram, and at www.lucywyldecoaching.com, where you can sign up for my newsletter!

his episode was originally released on August 25th, 2018. “Dear Sugars, I'm a serial codependent. I've married and had children with two addicts,” begins a letter signed by “Mommy Messed Up.” Over the years, her second husband began to withdraw and stash money inside of old bottles. Now Mommy Messed Up is ready to end their toxic relationship. The only problem is she'll have to disrupt her children's lives for a second time. “I'm fine with breaking my own heart,” she writes. “But how do I break my boys' hearts?” In this second part of our series on moving on, the Sugars discuss how we can release ourselves from our past mistakes. Dr. Harriet Lerner drops in to answer a second letter from a woman who is haunted by her abortion, a decision she laments now that she's experiencing early menopause. Like Mommy Messed Up, she is ruled by her regret. “We have to beware of the stories that we tell about ourselves because we become them,” Dr. Lerner advises. “And a story like the one she's constructed is so narrow and fixed that it's going to edge out all other stories about her past and her present and her future possibilities.” Dr. Lerner is a leading voice on the psychology of women and family relationships. She's the author of 12 books including The New York Times best seller “The Dance of Anger” and most recently, “Why Won't You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts.”https://www.harrietlerner.com/interviews-articles

The Many Faces of "I'm Sorry" - Ways to Ruin an Apology - More Wimpy, Overblown and Downright Relationship-Busting Apologies - Apologizing Under Fire (How to Handle Big-Time Criticism) - How to Decode a Faux Apology - The Secret Life of the Non Apologizer - Defensiveness - How and Whether to Accept the Olive Branch - Who is at Fault? (When Reconciliation Grinds to A Halt) - Have you ever witnessed an unforgettable or stunning apology? - You Need to Forgive and other Lies that Hurt You - How to Find Peace - The Two Most Powerful Words in the English Language 

This series is sponsored by Mira and Daniel Stokar, and this episode is sponsored by Dr. Leah Younger of Younger Psychology.In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to psychologist Dr. Joshua Coleman, about the nuances of familial estrangement and reconciliation. Then, we hear from mindset coach Jason Blau and translator Izzy Posen about how these issues play out within the Jewish community. In this episode we discuss:What strategies can be employed by families carrying the burden of strife and negativity?What are the common triggers of family estrangement, and how can those in strained relationships move forward?What is the role of family in a world of optionality?Tune in to hear a conversation about how we can make peace with the “ghosts” of our past. Interview with Joshua Coleman begins at 8:54.Interview with Jason Blau begins at 54:42.Interview with Izzy Posen begins at 1:15:42.Dr. Joshua Coleman is a psychologist in private practice and a Senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families, an organization of sociologists, historians, psychologists and demographers dedicated to providing the public with the latest research and best practice findings about American families. He has written for The New York Times, The Atlantic, and other publications, and often speaks on television about issues of estrangement, relationships, and families. Dr. Coleman also writes music for television which has been used on many shows. References:“Of Ghosts and Ancestors” by Ari Berman“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené BrownWhere to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day by Anne Katherine Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet LernerThe Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet LernerRules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict by Joshua ColemanWhen Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along by Joshua Coleman“The Family Reunion” by Izzy PosenGenesis 46“הַמַּלְאָךְ" by Izzy Posen"Daddy Come Home" by The Yeshiva Boys Choir

Apologies are the topic on this episode. Have you ever found it tough to say, “I'm sorry”, or wished for someone to apologize to you? Our guest, Dr. Harriet Lerner, says apologies are very important in our relationships. Harriet is a well-known psychologist whose latest book is called “Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts”. You can learn about Harriet by checking out her website at https://www.harrietlerner.com/. Thanks to our sponsors of this episode!   --> AirMedCare Network: AirMedCare Network provides world-class air transport services to the nearest, appropriate hospital or trauma center. AMCN Members have the added value of knowing their flight expenses are completely covered when flown by an AMCN provider. For as little as $85 a year, it covers your entire household, every day, 24/7, even when traveling. AMCN is the largest medical air transport membership in the country, covering 38 states. For just pennies a day, you can worry less about what matters most. This is security no family should be without. Now, as a Nobody Told Me! listener, you'll get up to a $50 eGift Card when you join.    Visit www.airmedcarenetwork.com/nobody and use the offer code NOBODY. -->Castus: CASTUS is a team of business development experts that enables B2B e-commerce to streamline the relationship between wholesalers and resellers. They create custom digital storefronts that cater to both your products and buyers to drive online orders and strengthen brand loyalty. Castus's in-depth expertise working in backend logistics to frontend consumer experiences, and everything in between makes them the perfect full-cycle partner for your business growth.  Visit their website, castusglobal.com/nobodytoldme to set up a no-obligation, one-on-one consultation with one of their experts and learn more!   --> Feals: Feals is a premium CBD delivered directly to your doorstep. Simply put, it's a better way to keep your head clear and feel better. CBD isn't about what you feel. It's about what you don't feel – stress, anxiety, pain. CBD is one of the active compounds found in the hemp plant. It works naturally without any mind altering effects or "high" for the person using it. Feals also offers a free CBD hotline to help guide your personal experience so that you find your perfect dose. The Feals Customer Service team is dedicated to making sure you get the best use of your CBD. Joining the Feals monthly membership makes your self-care easy. You'll save money on every order and you can pause or cancel any time. Start feeling better with Feals! Become a member today by going to www.feals.com/NOBODYTOLDME and you'll get 50% off your first order with free shipping! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mother wound is a subject that we really wanted to cover here on the podcast, which is why we just knew when we found today's guest on Instagram that we had to bring her on the show. If you're not familiar with what mother wound is, or who it even applies to, we can assure you that you will leave this episode being more informed on this subject. Stephi Wagner is the Founder of The Mother Wound Project, which is fueled by the power of lived experience. Every member of the MWP Team not only has the relevant training and experience in fields such as psychotherapy, psychology and program management but also personal experience with and demonstrated recovery from the mother wound themselves.In this episode, Stephi reveals how becoming aware of and addressing the mother wound is really all about reclaiming ourselves and breaking the silence, isolation, and often generation cycles that exist with the mother wound. She provides the first steps to take and helpful resources to start healing the mother wound right now. If this episode resonates with you, or you know someone who could benefit by listening to it, we would love it if you could share it and tag us in your Instagram Stories. MEET Stephi: https://www.instagram.com/motherwoundproject/10% off at BETTERHELP: http://betterhelp.com/herself15% off at FRAMEBRIDGE with code ‘herself': https://www.framebridge.comLinks & Resources:https://www.instagram.com/motherwoundproject/https://www.pinterest.ca/themotherwoundproject/_created/https://www.facebook.com/Mother-Wound-Project-101273972358666/ https://www.patreon.com/mwpmembers https://www.motherwoundproject.com/counselingAre you biased? I am - Kristen Pressner TED TalkStephi's Top Resources: All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks/Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn/What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Bruce D. Perry and Oprah Winfrey/Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner/Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené BrownLet's connect!HERSELF SHOP: https://herself-podcast-favorites.myshopify.comHERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

Without skill or care, an apology can re-inflame the argument and cost us greatly in time, energy and emotions. In this episode, I teach you the four steps to making a heartfelt and efficient apology. 1:18 Think about the last time you apologized 1:38 Apologies without care, skill and intention can backfire 2:20 I define efficiency in intimate communication 3:10 The story of how Rich and I got into an argument about watermelon this week 4:34 Authenticity is messy and loving cleanup is essential 4:54 The four considerations for making a short, sweet and true apology 6:41 Energy saving communication is short on words and dense with heart 8:25 Our apologies 9:47 This week's homework Resources: For a deep dive into the art of the apology, I highly recommend Why Won't You Apologize: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Dr. Harriet Lerner.   Also, this two-part interview with Dr. Lerner by Brene Brown is touching, funny and so instructive.   Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley  

“Sometimes you need a good cry.” How many times have you heard that advice? So what does the science say? This episode begins by looking at whether crying is really good for you - or if that is just something people say. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-8721.2008.00614.x The food you eat affects you in some interesting and unusual ways. For example, eating something sweet can actually make you a sweeter person - for a while. If you eat something you think is fat, your body will rev itself up to burn more calories just because you think that. Neuroscientist Rachel Herz, who teaches at Brown University and Boston College explains these and other fascinating ways food affects you. Rachel is the author of the book, Why You Eat What You Eat: The Science Behind Our Relationship with Food (https://amzn.to/3yqfKkW).  Since none of us are perfect, we all have to apologize to people when we make mistakes or say the wrong thing. Yet as simple as it sounds, apologies often go wrong. In fact, they can sometimes make things worse! An effective apology is all in how you deliver it. Listen as I discuss this with Harriet Lerner a psychotherapist and author of the book, Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts (https://amzn.to/2VuFgaf). Once you hear her advice you will become a champion at saying “I'm sorry.” Why do mosquitoes bite? After all they don't live on blood - it isn't food to them. So what do they need it for? Listen as I take you inside the life of these annoying summertime pests. https://www.mosquitoes.org/ PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! We really enjoy The Jordan Harbinger Show and we think you will as well! Check out https://jordanharbinger.com/start OR search for The Jordan Harbinger Show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts.  Save time, money, and stress with Firstleaf – the wine club designed with you in mind! Join today and you'll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to https://tryfirstleaf.com/SOMETHING Get 10% off on the purchase of Magnesium Breakthrough from BiOptimizers by visiting https://magbreakthrough.com/something T-Mobile for Business the leader in 5G, #1 in customer satisfaction, and a partner who includes benefits like 5G in every plan. So you get it all. Without trade-offs! Visit https://T-Mobile.com/business Go to https://RockAuto.com right now and see all the parts available for your car or truck. Write SOMETHING in their “How did you hear about us?” box so they know we sent you! Discover matches all the cash back you earn on your credit card at the end of your first year automatically and is accepted at 99% of places in the U.S. that take credit cards! Learn more at https://discover.com/yes Visit https://www.remymartin.com/en-us/ to learn more about their exceptional spirits! https://www.geico.com Bundle your policies and save! It's Geico easy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why can't some people apologize? How do you apologize effectively? How do you respond to an apology? The answers to all of these questions can be found within this bookey.

Wow Episode 100! We are celebrating this milestone with my guest Sonya Thompsen-Halsey,  Marriage and Family Therapist and Life Coach,  and we get into some wonderful conversation about assertiveness, answering your questions and hopefully provoking some thought and insights along the way. In this episode, we discuss some of the most common questions we have heard over the years regarding the concept of assertiveness, dispelling some old myths out there and challenging you to think about what being confident and connecting is all about. Key Elements: Uncovering some different angles on the idea of being assertive. Understanding how change can look in our relationships when we begin speaking our truth. Look at ways we can soften our delivery while standing our ground.     "To be passive is to let others decide for you. To be aggressive is to decide for others.  To be assertive is to decide for yourself. And to trust that there is enough, that you are enough." ― Edith Eva Eger     Resources: Be sure to enter the random drawing for two Amazon gift cards by following on Instagram at Soarwithmary, and providing your email address via direct message.  One entry per direct message.  No purchase necessary.  Contest ends at midnight EST on 05/25/2021. Please see contest details at https://www.soarwithmarybaker.com/100th-episode-giveaway/ Book Recommendations: The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown Daring Greatly by Brene Brown Codependent No More by Melody Beattie   Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend Why Won’t You Just Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B Rosenburg The Art of War by Sun Tzu (Author), Ralph D. Sawyer (Translator) The Art Of Saying NO: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted (Without Feeling Guilty!) by Damon Zahariades    Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!

In this episode, we talk all about how to construct apologies that sincerely express empathy, regret for having messed up, and a promise to do better in the future. Once you’ve taken the time to really think about what you’re saying and why you’re saying it, offering a solid apology isn’t so elusive. We also talk about getting better at receiving apologies, an oft-overlooked aspect of the apology process. P.S. On an upcoming episode we will be answering your questions about friendships—starting them, ending them, maintaining them, etc. If you have a question or need advice (or want to hear our thoughts about being or having a friend in 2021), we want you to ask us. Email us your question at OhILikeThatpod@gmail.com. Or you can record a voice memo and send that to us at OhILikeThatpod@gmail.com, and we will play your memo in the episode. Just make sure you tell us your name (and if you’re writing in, please let us know how to pronounce it) and your pronouns. If you want to submit a question anonymously or would like to send us a voice memo but not have it played on the air, just let us know that too!This episode was produced by Rachel and Sally and edited by Lucas Nguyen. Our logo was designed by Amber Seger (@rocketorca). Our theme music is by Tiny Music. MJ Brodie transcribed this episode. Follow us on Twitter @OhILikeThatPod.Things we talked about: How to apologize Like a Goddamn Adult by Sally for BuzzFeedThe Five Ingredients of an Effective Apology by Guy Winch, PhDWhy Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet LernerThe Apology Language QuizThe Five Languages of Apology by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas The 5 Love LanguagesBoring Books for Bedtime podcastEveryday Dinners: Real-Life Recipes to Set Your Family Up for a Week of Success: A Cookbook by Jessica Merchant

We can't start this week's Table Conversation without looking back to last week's episode and talking about the interview - I didn't know that free speech would be the big debate this week! If you care about people and your relationships then 'I'm sorry' are the two most important words you will ever use. Let us have a chat about apologising and how to say I'm sorry effectively. What does a genuine apology look and most importantly feel like? The masterclass I mentioned was by Harriet Lerner, her book is called: Why won't you apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts. As always get in touch and share your thoughts - across social media @iamcraigstorey or comment on the website - www.iamcraigstorey.com.

Podcast InfoA new podcast episode drops every Monday.Music credit: L-Ray Music, Courtesy of Shutterstock, Inc.Learn more about your host, Cordelia, by clicking hereBe sure to follow Cordelia on Instagram: @codependentrecoveryWant to help me make this podcast better?  Take an anonymous survey here.---------Workbook + Community + Free ResourcesAre you going through a breakup or divorce?   Here is the link to the 98-page workbook.  Print version + ebook version available worldwide.Want to join the community (i.e., community club or book club)? Click hereWant access to free resources? Click hereNeed help finding a counselor? Click here--------CITATIONS FOR TODAY'S EPISODEThe apology is not the only time to talk about [Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, PhD]Only apologize if you mean itSay it once [Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, PhD]Keep it short [Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, PhD]Don’t use it as a device to shut someone up [Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, PhD] or to get what you wantDon't overdo or make it over the top [Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, PhD]Watch your body languageStart it with I’m sorry or I apologize (Mindtools)Spell out the mistake (Mindtools)Be sincere and authentic (Mindtools)Don’t make excuses (Mindtools)Own your impactSay what you should have doneListen to the other personDon’t demand forgivenessKeep the focus on your actions—and not on the other person’s responseDon't get caught up on who started on it or who is to blameState your future plans to make amendsDo your best to not repeat the behaviorDon’t expect things to go back to normal immediatelyBONUS TIP: Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, PhD--BOOK RECOMMENDATIONSWhy Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, PhD

Podcast InfoA new podcast episode drops every Monday.Music credit: L-Ray Music, Courtesy of Shutterstock, Inc.Learn more about your host, Cordelia, by clicking hereBe sure to follow Cordelia on Instagram: @codependentrecoveryWant to help me make this podcast better?  Take an anonymous survey here.---------Workbook + Community + Free ResourcesAre you going through a breakup or divorce?   Here is the link to the 98-page workbook.  Print version + ebook version available worldwide.Want to join the community (i.e., community club or book club)? Click hereWant access to free resources? Click hereNeed help finding a counselor? Click here--------CITATIONS FOR TODAY'S EPISODEOverview of an ApologyDefinition of Apologize (Merriam-Webster)Two key elements of an apology (Mind Tools)You cannot force an apology (Psychcentral)Harriet Lerner quote from Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, PhDMotives for apologyFour parts to an apology according to O’HaraTypes of shitty apologiesTactical apologiesIf apologiesNYT ExamplesI’m sorry ifJets ExampleI’m sorry butI’m sorry youDéjà vuYou know I am..I guess I..Not my apologyActions but no wordsLet’s make a dealBringing up the other person’s crime sheet (Harriet Lerner) from Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, PhDMartyr/Victim Playing - from Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, PhDDemanding forgivenessLove you though (or miss you)Time passingGeneric “for everything”Sarcasm: sorry!Passive VoiceFamous examples--BOOK RECOMMENDATIONSWhy Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, PhD

When we’re faced with ongoing challenges, it’s easy to fall into a cycle of apathy and anger—especially when we don’t have an outlet for our emotions. As parents, we get tired of holding everything together, and we can end up taking it out on our kids. Psychologist and author Harriet Lerner gives us a brief, lighthearted snapshot of what can happen in relationships when there are communication breakdowns, negative tones, and assumptions strewn about. Watch the full clip here, and for more info about Dr. Harriet Lerner, here’s her website. Check out her books, The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide To Changing The Patterns Of Intimate Relationships, at https://amzn.to/37Vzh2q, and Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts, at https://amzn.to/3mBZ6IJ. I'd love to know what you think, so join in on the conversation! Subscribe, leave a review, or follow PG-ish on Instagram (@pgishparenting), or you can always find me at www.pgishparenting.com.

Once again, Paul and Sean are joined by the expertise and insights of Liam and Pany for a lengthy look at Eric Stewart's outside collaborations from 1979 through to the 90s. In the late 80s Eric was on fire in the recently launched Strawberry Studios South. Hot on the heels of the huge success of Deceptive Bends and Bloody Tourists, as well as his film soundtrack for 'Girls', he took on the task of giving Sad Cafe their first hit album. 'Facades' is a cracking production job: full of fresh, edgy pop sensibilities, eclectic but commercial. The band, fronted by the excellent Paul Young, and featuring future 10cc keysman Vic Emerson, the album yielded a number of sizeable hits, including the classic Everyday Hurts. But what happened shortly after the album was recorded changed the trajectory of Eric's career. We'll never properly know how Eric's horrific car accident affected his mental and physical powers, but it's true to say that nothing seemed the same in its wake. Certainly, his production of Sad Cafe's follow-up album was a poor reflection of the previous release. His album 'Frooty Rooties', though not exactly chocked with classic hits, was perhaps his last notable production work. However, this is the point at which he began a hugely important collaboration with long-time friend Paul McCartney. After lending his vocal skills to the wonderful vocal blend on the 'Tug of War' album, Eric forged a more substantial role in the Macca set-up, effectively surplanting Denny Laine. This culminated in the two co-writing many of the songs on 1986's 'Press to Play' album.  Other projects followed, with Stewart at the knobs for a range of artists famous and less so. Most notable was an album with ABBA's Agnetha Faltskog, which although a big hit in northern Europe, leaves Sean very cold indeed! We close the episode waxing lyrical about two particular songs from Eric's guest gigs with Alan Parsons. A beautiful and fitting coda to Eric's extra-10cc work. Next week, we feature the second half of this epic conversation, by rounding up his musical career in focusing on the mixed bag that are his two final albums, 'Do Not Bend' and 'Viva La Difference'.

Episode One Hundred Five Show Notes We are excited to announce that we are now an affiliate of Libro.fm audiobook platform: Listeners can receive three months for the price of one. Follow this link to learn more. (promo code: bookcougars)– 14th Readalong discussion– Convenience Store Woman – Sayaka Murata (translated by Ginny Tapley Takemori) The discussion will drop on August 4 via Episode 108, please get questions/comments to us by July 31. The Goodreads discussion thread can be found HERE.– Currently Reading –Tuesday Mooney Talks to Ghosts – Kate Racculia (CW)Last Day – Luanne Rice (EF)How To Be an Antiracist – Ibram X. Kendi (CW)My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies – Resmaa Menakem (CW) My Sister the Serial Killer - Oyinkan Braithwaite (CW)(audio)– Just Read –The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships – Harriet Lerner (EF)(audio) Chris is spending time with the magazines Fine Books & CollectionsThe Lions of Fifth Avenue – Fiona Davis (EF) release date August 4, 2020The Book of V. – Anna Solomon (EF)– Biblio Adventures –Emily browsed inside Savoy Bookstore & Café in Westerly, RI. She picked up a copy of Why We Swim by Bonnie Tsui. Chris was able to go to Guilford Free Library for a curb side pick-up!Chris attended two virtual events: Irene Butter discussing her book Shores Beyond Shores with Donna Apidone via CapRadio Reads. You can watch the conversation here.Erica Ruth Neubaur in conversation with Juliet Grames, discussing her book Murder at Mena House through Bank Square Books. Read Chris’s review here.Emily enjoyed several episodes of Brené Brown’s podcast, Unlocking Us, including a two-part conversation with Harriet Lerner, author of Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts and Ibram X. Kendi, author of How To Be an Antiracist. Brené Brown is the author of Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone.Emily listened to and recommends Episode 129 of Terrible, Thanks for Asking with Nora Borealis – Policing and Racial Trauma with Angela Davis.– Upcoming Jaunts –June 25 at 7pm – Chris will be attending a virtual event through RJ Julia Booksellers Richie Jackson author of Gay Like Me in conversation with Matthew Reimer author of We Are Everywhere: Protest, Power, and Pride in the History of Queer Liberation.Chris and Emily are heading on a joint jaunt to the Guilford Free Library for an outdoor fair featuring new book releases. Watch the video of our adventure here.– Upcoming Reads –Home Before Dark – Riley Sager (CW)The Last Flight – Julie Clark (EF)– Book of the Month Club –In order to get your first month at the discounted rate of $9.99 go to www.bookofthemonth.com and use promo code: bookcougars.The June Book of the Month Club picks are:The Vanishing Half – Brit BennettHome Before Dark – Riley SagerA Burning – Megha MujumdarOne to Watch – Kate Stayman-LondonThe Last Flight – Julie Clark– Also Mentioned –Book By Book BlogUrban Trauma: A Legacy of Racism – Dr. Maysa AkbarTrue Grit – Charles PortisThe Goldfinch – Donna TarttThe Dance of Intimacy – Harriet LernerThe New YorkerMadeline MillerThe Seven or Eight Deaths of Stella FortunaPurchase Book Cougars Swag on Zazzle!We are an affiliate of Bank Square Books and Savoy Bookstore & Café. Please purchase books from them and support us at the same time. Click HERE to start shopping.If you’d like to help financially support the Book Cougars, please consider becoming a Patreon member. You can DONATE HERE. If you would prefer to donate directly to us, please email bookcougars@gmail.com for instructions.Join our Goodreads Group! We have a BookTube Channel – please check it out here, and be sure to subscribe!Please subscribe to our email newsletter here.

Dr. Harriet Lerner's work has transformed my work and my life. She's a renowned psychologist and bestselling author who has been studying apologies — and why some people won't give them — for more than two decades. In Part 2 of our two-part series, we share from a course together on her groundbreaking book Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts. We dig into the “mischief of defensiveness,” the power of listening, and the secret life of the non-apologizer. We also take on one helluva role play where you get to hear me get schooled and learn a lot and get schooled again. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This two-episode special is based on a course that Dr. Harriet Lerner and I did together on her groundbreaking book, “Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts.” You can expect authentic, hard conversations (and one helluva role play) about making mistakes, healing hurts, and being brave. Harriet is a friend, mentor, and teacher. Her work has shaped my career and made my life better. During a time of deep uncertainty and anxiety - when many of us have struggled to be our best selves all of the time - apologizing has never been more important.

This is the first episode of two-part special based on a course that Dr. Harriet Lerner and I did together on her groundbreaking book Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts. It's an authentic, hard conversation about making mistakes, healing hurts, and being brave. Harriet is a friend, mentor, and teacher. Her work has shaped my career and made my life better. During a time of deep uncertainty and anxiety — when many of us have struggled to be our best selves all of the time — apologizing has never been more important. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This two-episode special is based on a course that Dr. Harriet Lerner and I did together on her groundbreaking book, “Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts.” You can expect authentic, hard conversations (and one helluva role play) about making mistakes, healing hurts, and being brave. Harriet is a friend, mentor, and teacher. Her work has shaped my career and made my life better. During a time of deep uncertainty and anxiety - when many of us have struggled to be our best selves all of the time - apologizing has never been more important. (

Discover four elements that help you survive and thrive when trouble comes into your life. Book mentioned: Why Won't You Apologize: Healing Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner: https://amzn.to/2ZqxXNO http://michellespiva.com/Amz-HarrietLerner-WhyWontYouApologize Don't forget to use our Amazon link to support the podcast by using our Amazon Shopping link! http://MichelleSpiva.com/Amz To send a message to the show: https://anchor.fm/michelle-spiva/message For Interviews, sponsorship, or coaching/consulting, please send inquires to: MichelleSpiva at gmail dot com (no solicitation-spam; *You do not have permission to add this email to any email list or autoresponder without knowledge or consent) _____________________________ Further support this podcast, please do so by using any of these methods: All your Amazon shopping: http://michellespiva.com/Amz Venmo: @MichelleSpiva1 CashApp: $MichelleSpiva PayPal: http://bit.ly/Donate2Michelle Patreon: https://Patreon.com/MichelleSpiva Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe, rate, and review. Follow Michelle here: Facebook: facebook.com/FollowMichelleSpiva Twitter: @mspiva IG: @MichelleSpiva Find out more about Michelle's alter-ego fiction writer side: Amazon Author Page: http://amzn.to/2lIP6Om Facebook: facebook.com/MychalDanielsAuthor Twitter: @mychaldaniels IG: @MychalDaniels Website: MychalDaniels.com/connect --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/michelle-spiva/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/michelle-spiva/support

Statistically speaking you’re probably a Sex Nerd Sandra fan. Her wildly popular sex podcast has over 15 million downloads! You also may have noticed she vanished during the last couple of years. Ken & Sunny catch up with Sandra and get all the details about her upcoming Sex Nerd Sandra podcast reboot. Sandra also shares what prompted her hiatus and the important things she learned about herself while she was away. The trio also talk about healing hurt, the skills needed for healthy relationships, rebranding comprehensive sex ed as comprehensive emotional ed, and the real reason so many Americans refute science. Sandra also dives into her personal experiences with HIV and the surprising facts the public doesn’t know about the virus. This episode is jam-packed with so much juicy goodness and we’re honored Sandra chose to hop back on the mic with us! Sandra also tells an amazing story about the time she made sweet, sweet love to an ironing board (yes, you read that right!) over at https://www.patreon.com/posts/22192697.    ____________________________________ Submit your BDSM & sex advice questions by email to americansexpodcast@gmail.com To support American Sex podcast, please visit patreon.com/americansex (plus you’ll get all episodes early, secret episodes, bonus stories from guests, on-air shout-outs, stuff in the mail & more!) Enter our monthly sex toy giveaway at sunnymegatron.com/edge  Get friendly with us on Twitter at @AmericanSexPod or visit sunnymegatron.com or americansexpodcast.com Join our mailing list by texting MEGATRON to 444999 Sunny & Ken, xo! ____________________________________ Episode 64 Links Sex Nerd Sandra Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexnerdsandra/ Sex Nerd Sandra Twitter http://twitter.com/sexnerdsandra Sex Nerd Sandra Facebook https://www.facebook.com/SexNerdSandra/ Sex Nerd Sandra Podcast https://sexnerdsandra.com/podcast/ 2012 Sunny interviews Sandra on Outside The Box https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCZlqnW6Y0w Sex Nerd Sandra Pussy Hug Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjYxeul7Q-I Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts https://www.amazon.com/Why-Wont-You-Apologize-Betrayals/dp/1501129597 Finite and Infinite Games https://www.amazon.com/Finite-Infinite-Games-James-Carse/dp/1476731713/ Sunny & Ken’s classes on Kink Academy http://bit.ly/kinkacademyelectric Sunny Megatron Instagram (please help us get to 10k to unlock more business features!)http://instagram.com/sunnymegatron Sunny Megatron & Ken Melvoin-Berg at Friends Club in Austin, TX November 9th & 10th http://austinfriends.club.com  Episode 63 Sponsor & Giveaway Info Tantus Rumble Instagram giveaway sponsored by http://DallasNovelty.com ($159 value). Entrants must be over 18, US resident, no purchase necessary. Visit the giveaway Instagram post for details and to enter http://instagram.com/sunnymegatron(Direct link https://www.instagram.com/p/BoqQAKdBgYT/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link ) Lovense Edge Prostate Bluetooth Massager giveaway ($119 value) provided by Castle Megastore. Entrants must be over 18, US resident, no purchase necessary. Visit the giveaway page for details and to enter http://sunnymegatron.com/edge 20% off your order at http://castlemegastore.com when you use code SUNNY at checkout (limited restrictions apply) Get the early-bird pricing late for Ropecraft Austin, TX on October 26-28 2018 with code SUNNY https://www.ropecraft.net/austin/ $250 off Midori’s Forte Femme Women’s Dominance Weekend New York October 26-28 2018 with code sunny18 http://www.fortefemme.com/

Years ago coffee was called “The Think Drink” in a marketing campaign. Those were the golden days of coffee. Later coffee was demonized as something that caused all kinds of health problems. Later it turned out, coffee had health benefits and was just fine to drink – but not too much. So we begin this episode with a look at the research to discover whether coffee is good or evil. (http://www.rd.com/slideshows/coffee-myths/#slideshow=slide6)Ever think about what traits or behaviors or illnesses may have been passed down to you by your parents and ancestors? What will you pass down to your children and their children? Can you really inherit your mother’s laugh or your father’s depression? Heredity is a fascinating and often misunderstood topic. To help sort it all out is Carl Zinmmer. Carl is a writer for The New York Times and author of the book, She Has Her Mother’s Laugh: The Powers, Perversions and Potential of Heredity (https://amzn.to/2IG8KKR). Couples fight about money more than most other subjects. That’s because they don’t talk about it until it escalates into a fight. So how can couples talk about money in a calm and reasonable manner so there are no fights? I’ll explain that in this episode (The Couple’s Guide to Financial Compatability by Jeff Motske - https://amzn.to/2KNiek2)When you do or say something that hurts someone else, you are supposed to apologize. But as simple as that sounds, sometimes an apology can make matters worse not better. In fact that is a lot about apologies and forgiveness people don’t understand. One person who understands this very well is Dr. Harriet Lerner, a psychotherapist and author of the book Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts (https://amzn.to/2s7Nanl). Harriet joins me to dissect what does and doesn’t make the perfect apology and how to diver it so it really does some good.

To kick off our May series on mothering social change, what could be more fitting than to re-examine how we think about motherhood and mental health? Momma B & Rebecca talk to esteemed psychologist, Dr. Harriet Lerner, one of our nation's most loved and respected experts on women and family relationships, and the author of twelve books include The New York Times bestseller, The Dance of Anger, The Mother Dance, and, most recently, Why Won't You Apologize? Harriet also shares the true feminist origins of Mother’s Day. Happy Mother’s Day to all our favorite moms & non-moms! .·:*'`*:·..·:*'`*:·.·:*'`*:·..·:*'`*:·.·:*'`*:·. MOMMA B’S GOODIE BAG OF HELPFUL LINKS Harriet referenced so much goodness: The Original Mother’s Day Proclamation, by Julia Ward Howe 1870: https://www.plough.com/en/topics/culture/holidays/mothers-day/the-original-mother-s-day-proclamation More great quotes by novelist, Faye Weldon: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/50416.Fay_Weldon Anna Quindlen’s column: “Mother-daughter relationship that might have been”: https://www.nytimes.com/1986/07/09/garden/life-in-the-30-s.html Our favorite Books by Harriet: The Mother Dance: How Children Change Your Life: http://a.co/eqTIJK1 Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships: http://a.co/2OVivT6 Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts: http://a.co/dvMrBrq Send us your feedback and win a box of Advice from Mom sneeze-solvers (many tiny packets of tissues): www.advicefrom.mom/feedback .·:*'`*:·..·:*'`*:·.·:*'`*:·..·:*'`*:·.·:*'`*:·. Support Advice from Mom and the art of jingle-making by supporting our sponsor: StoryWorth: The easiest way to share your story. For $20 off, visit storyworth.com/pickleball when you subscribe! Advice from Mom is a production of Wise Ones Advice Services. It was produced by Juliet Hinely & Rebecca Garza-Bortman. Editing by Juliet Hinely. Mixed and mastered by Jake Young. Publicity by Anna Beyder. Harriet’s interview was recorded by Jason Slote at Kansas Public Radio. Audio assistance by Bryan Garza. Our theme music is by my band, Love Jerks. This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to offer diagnosis or treatment of any medical or psychological condition. All treatment decisions should be made in partnership with your health professional.

Have you ever received an apology that didn’t quite cut it? That made things even worse? Plus, let’s face it - life can be messy. Despite your best intentions, it is nearly impossible to avoid causing harm or hurt every so often. So - when is an apology necessary? How do you apologize effectively? Isn’t “I’m sorry” enough? What are the key ingredients to be able to repair a relationship in a way that makes your connection stronger? And what is the place of forgiveness in all of this? In today’s episode, we’re chatting with Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of the bestselling The Dance of Anger. Her new book, Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts, is a direct, insightful guide on the art of the apology - with some surprising truths that can help you create healing when you need it most.   If you’re interested in checking out our first episode together, here is a link to Episode 12 - How to Turn Your Anger into a Force for Good with Harriet Lerner. It is never too late to apologize: The need to give and receive apologies is universal- we have hurt and will continue to unwillingly hurt others and be hurt by them. While we must all do all we can to treat those in our life with kindness, care, integrity, respect, and love, we will inevitably cause hurt. The goal then is to make a repair. It is never too late to apologize! It is appropriate to make an apology as soon as you become aware that you caused hurt- whether this is hours, days, weeks, or decades after the fact. “I’m sorry”: ‘I’m sorry’ are some of the most important words we can gift each other. These words become the gateway into repair and healing. When we give another person our full apologies we offer them safety, soothing, and evidence that we care about their feelings and are capable of and ready to take responsibility for what we have or have not said or done. Apologizing is a process that involves listening: Apologizing is much much more than offering the words ‘I am sorry’. While these words mark the beginning, it is a process that can sometimes feel like a long distance run. At the core of an honest and authentic apology is the ability to listen. We must be willing to sit with the hurt party’s anger and pain. We need to stay long enough to really grasp their injury, to validate their feelings, and to willingly offer to carry some of the pain that we may have caused. Be there until the hurt party trusts that you really get the wrongness, and that you are and will be reflecting on it. Invite more: If you were the one who inflicted harm, be sure that you do not use the “I’m sorry” to shut the other person down, create closure, and avoid pain. Commit to the apology as an unfolding and evolving process, and find ways to frequently follow back around after the initial conversation. Create spaces and times for the hurt party to share more by going out of your way to check in and ask about how they are feeling in relation to the injury, even without their prompting. This reaching out shows your commitment to inviting any more processing that may be needed.   Gift to the Self: A true heartfelt apology is as much a gift to the other as it is to ourselves. Our level of self-worth rests on our ability to see ourselves objectively and to see our behaviors against others with clear eyes and assume unequivocal responsibility for acting at another person's expense. As we offer our apology we are choosing maturity and integrity over self-protection, avoidance and fear. Shame: Apologies are near impossible from a place of shame. A person needs to have a solid platform of self worth to stand on in order to not collapse into self-loathing. With the higher vantage point offered by self-esteem, we are capable of looking at our bad behavior and harmful actions and seeing them as mistakes that are part of a large, complex, and ever changing picture of who we are as human beings. Calm down first: Authentic and effective apologies can only come from a regulated place. Be sure to take the time and the actions necessary to calm yourself down. Without tending to the dysregulation it is too easy to come from a defensive place in which you end up finding a way to make your “I’m sorry” include a hint of blaming, of vagueness, excuse making, and/or focus on the OTHER person’s ‘crime sheet’. So breathe, ground, center, and get clear with yourself that your motivation to apologize is coming from a place of good will and the genuine wish for a better relationship. Good, and better apologies: Remember that apologizing is not a way to speed up the repair process as much as it is a slowing down to create the time and space needed to take full inventory of the hurt and the responsibility. A real apology means that you are available, and will continue to make yourself available, by keeping your heart open, and giving the gift of deep listening. A true apology involves caring about the relationship and the other person more than you care about your own self-image and protection. It involves an acceptance of responsibility for your part of the problem and a commitment to ongoing awareness and action related to the hurt.   Get your BUT out of your apology: There are many ways we ineffectively apologize if we are not coming from a calm and caring place. We make excuses, we send mixed signals, we become passive aggressive… and most commonly we use the word ‘but’. ‘Buts’ have NO place in an apology! This signals a rationalization, an excuse, and a focus on the other person’s behaviors. While often our partner may have their own pieces to apologize for in an interaction, a true apology only focuses on our behaviors, and never on their feelings. For example, you might say “I’m sorry for correcting your stories in front of all of our friends at dinner”, vs. “I’m sorry you felt belittled but I was just trying clarify the details”. Take ownership of your part, find out how it impacted them, and begin to repair. The art of asking for an apology: While we all long to hear “I’m sorry”, “I really get it” and “your feelings make total sense”, the difficult truth is that sometimes we have to wait a long time. Furthermore, there are certain apologies that we long for and deserve that we may never get. This does not mean we can’t ask for it. The best reason to bring up something painful that you really want someone to acknowledge is because you need and want to hear your own voice speaking the truth about what you really believe and what you know to be true. When and if you do speak up, keep it simple. Be direct, short, and say it with kindness instead of begging for their attention, or criticizing/blaming/shaming them into a sorry. The longer the word count the quicker they will vacate the premises! Share your truth and then invite them to consider your feelings and the effect their behavior had on the way you felt. Of course there will be longer conversations needed, but the initial confrontation will go better if you say it concisely. Accepting an apology: As much as there is an art to apologizing, there is also an art to receiving an apology. Initially it is best if you receive with grace and openness. Here too there is no place for the ‘BUT…’s. Simply thank the other for their apology, and save the discussion for a later time. Remember that acceptance is different than forgiveness- an apology can lead to both deep forgiveness and to letting go and both paths are worthy. The important piece is that together, and separately, but parties are working towards freedom. The myths of forgiveness: We live in a culture that is obsessed with forgiveness. There are many myths, including the misleading belief that you must forgive in order to move on and be whole. The truth is that there are many different pathways to finding peace. Forgiveness is not a universally healing emotion, especially not when it is forced or coerced. “You need to forgive” are the last words that a hurt party needs to hear and will inevitably leave them feeling alone, and betrayed all over again. It is no one else’s job to tell you that you have to forgive, or that you should. It is, however, your own responsibility to find ways to protect yourself from the pain you hold, the corrosive aspects of bitterness, and the hate that may be keeping you stuck. This may or may not require forgiveness, but it sure as hell does not require transcending the anger and pain. The hurt holds wisdom, information, and often a plan for what is needed going forward. Listen in and get creative with your self care knowing that there are MANY ways to heal! Sponsors: Talkspace.com - Online therapy that matches you with your perfect therapist. You can communicate with your therapist daily - so they can be there for you during the moments you most need support. Visit talkspace.com/ALIVE and use the coupon code “ALIVE” for $30 off your first month of online therapy. Resources: Find out more about Harriet Lerner’s work, upcoming appearances, and follow her blog on her website Read her newest book Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts Read her classic book The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships Relisten to episode 12 with Harriet Lerner on the Dance of Anger www.neilsattin.com/apologize Visit to download the show guide, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the show guide to this episode with Harriet Lerner Our Relationship Alive Community on Facebook Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out

Interview with Harriet Lerner, author of Why Won’t You Apologize?, about how to heal big betrayals and everyday hurts. The post Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts appeared first on Mr. Dad.

Harriet is one of America’s most respected relationship experts, and the author of numerous scholarly articles and popular books, including the New York Times bestseller The Dance of Anger, which has sold several million copies. Newest book, WHY WON’T YOU APOLOGIZE?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts, shows us how much the apology matters and why we so often muck it up. Harriet provides a unique perspective on what the good apology requires and how we can restore compromised and broken relationships. More at www.HarrietLerner.com