Podcasts about Melody Beattie

In this FYF episode, Lesley Logan opens the new year by honoring beginnings without forcing reinvention. Inspired by Journey to the Heart, she explores how reflection, intentional letting go, and curiosity can shape a more grounded start. Through listener wins, her own tour reflections, and a powerful mantra, this episode offers a calm, empowering way to step into the year ahead—without erasing who you already are.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Honoring beginnings without turning them into pressure.Choosing updates and upgrades instead of New Year reinvention.Letting go of what no longer belongs in this next chapter.Staying present and enjoying the journey while on tour.Episode References/Links:Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsBook: Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie - https://a.co/d/75bOwAZBook: Your Big Leap Year by Gay Hendricks - https://a.co/d/7KY1pfkEpisode 589: Brad Bizjack - https://beitpod.com/ep589Mantra - https://www.instagram.com/miche_427 If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  It's Fuck Yeah Friday. Brad Crowell 0:01  Fuck yeah.Lesley Logan 0:02  Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:48  Hi, Be It babe. Oh my God, it is the first, it's the first FYF of a new year. So, happy fucking new year. Happy Fuck Yeah Friday. Oh my gosh, if you had to, like, actually go to work. I hope you get the longest weekend. Because, like, why would you have to go in today? Okay, so if you are new to our podcast and you're dropping on today, this is the short, sweet and off the cuff episode where I celebrate wins of yours a win of mine. So we can see that, like, wins exist all the time. Actually have something for you guys next week where I'm sharing something that is really like, is really like the be it till you see it and why, well, celebrating is so important. And a little inspiration, a little mantra, okay? So I wanted to take the inspiration on day one of this book, Journey to the Heart from Melody Beattie, that I really love. It's like one of those, like daily meditation books. I have three of these. And because I'm I'm recovering over achiever, and I read three daily, you know, we're getting there. I actually will say one of them I'm almost done with, and I don't need to reread it, or two of, like this one I reread every year. So because I miss some days and you gotta, so I'll just explain, if you because you're not watching. So it's one of those things, like on January one, there's one to read January two, blah, blah, blah. And she even has one, one that's a leap year, so it's pretty cool. And I have Gay Hendricks' book Your Big Leap Year, which I love, because I love reading his book every single year. And this one feels like I'm reading his book all year long, and that's really fun. And then I have this other one that's cute and it's sweet, and it's like, sometimes it just hits the wrong way. So I'm finishing it and I'm giving it away, because I think it'll be good for somebody else. Just doesn't hit me, right, well, so I'll have two and then I'm, you've heard like I went as I have a hobby, you know? And one of my hobbies is like pulling a daily card and percolating on it on my walk, which I'm that's like the hobby that I'm going to start in this new year, once I'm home, I'm not home yet, so can't do that. Lesley Logan 2:40  So January one, this is what she said, and I wanted to share with you. Honor the beginning. Beginnings can be delicate or explosive. They can start almost invisibly or arrive with a big bang. Beginnings hold the promise of new lessons to be learned, new territory to be explored, and old lessons to be recalled, practiced and appreciated. Beginnings hold ambiguity, promise, fear and hope. Don't let the lessons, the experience of the past, dampen your enthusiasm for beginnings. Just because it's been hard doesn't mean it will always be that difficult. Don't let the heart breaks of the past cause you to be cynical, close you up to life's magic and promise. Open yourself wide to all the universe has to say. Let yourself begin anew. Pack your bags. Choose carefully what you bring, because packing is an important ritual. Take along some humility of the lessons of the past. Toss in some curiosity and excitement about what you haven't yet learned. Say your goodbyes to those who are you're leaving behind. Don't worry who you will meet or where you will go. The way has been prepared. The people you are to meet will be expecting you. A new journey has begun. Let it be magical. Let it unfold. All parts of the journey are sacred and holy. Take time now to honor the beginning. So that is for January one. If you get the book, you can read January two. Anyways, I make nothing off of it. I love this book, Journey to the Heart. So I like to start this episode off each week with like something that inspired me. Sometimes it inspires me in like a fiery way, and sometimes it inspires me in like a way worth reflecting. And it's really easy for us as we begin this new year to kind of bring in last year's stuff, right? And I actually don't believe in New year, new you. I actually believe in updates and upgrades and and I also actually don't even believe that it starts on the first year. You can start at any time. I mean, like, my cell phone has a new update all the time, and it's like, okay, it's a new year for that cell phone. It's a new cycle. So whether or not you're coming to this year with excitement and joy, of like, what could become or fear because of what could continue. I do think it's important to recognize beginnings, and I do think it's good to reflect about what we are unpacking, like, what aren't we taking from last year into this year? That doesn't mean you're a new person, it just means you no longer have that thing. And maybe that is a physical clean out of something you own, or maybe it's a mental letting go, cutting the cord. But I do hope that you take some time for that, and I think that's what's so fun about these FYFs. It's like each week can be one thing that we let go of, or add to, and that isn't overwhelming, right? It's not so overwhelming. So that's something for you to think about. Lesley Logan 5:25  Wins. I've got some wins that were sent in. All right. shannanlikestomove wrote in she wrote, "Big maintenance event on both reformers. Old grease boogers gone. New grease in!" I love it. Isn't that so fun, you guys? A win can just be that you cleaned your reformer because, oh my God, doesn't that take up so much space? on_point_pilates_studio wrote, "Got in the hot sauna today! Self-care for the win" Yeah. I mean, there's so many different things you could have been doing right? On_point, you could have been like, I could pay this bill, I could check this email. But you're like, no, I'm getting that hot sauna. And etain.pilates wrote, "Honestly, I just made it through a challenging week." You know, that's a win. That is a win, just like you made it through and it is Friday and you got to the end, and so good on you. All right, a win of mine. We are still on tour. We are on the last days of the tour, and my win is, I'm still enjoying myself. I'm still enjoying myself. I think it there, there's this idea that, like, if other people have other things going on and there's terrible things happening in the world, then I can't have more good and an excellent episode with Brad Bisjack, in one of his courses, he actually said, like, people said, I feel bad wanting to have more when, like so many people have less. And his response is like, nobody wins when you play small. And I really do appreciate every single one of these stops that we get to do, because I know, like, I learn every time I teach, every time I meet people and I teach like, I learn from the question they ask. I learn from the environment. I learn from looking at their body's move. I learn from their learning style understanding what I'm saying, like, oh, that's how you took that. That's so fascinating. That's not what I meant, like I learn from all that. And so I also love that these pop ups can come in the middle of a crazy week for someone, and can be a positive stop to the chaos. And so they're so important to me that that we do them because it can be the pause that someone needs, the cup feeling that someone needs. I love doing that for people, and I love that my win is, is that I'm still enjoying myself along the way, because it is so easy for the questions of, aren't you tired? And I know that those questions are meaningful, but every time someone asks, aren't you tired? Aren't you tired? Aren't you tired? Like it's so easy for the brain to latch onto that and go, am I tired? I'm like, no, I'm having a great time. I'm having a great time. And that is my win. I'm not letting the societal pressures and questions of like, I should be tired by now, and I, you know, all this different stuff, get to me. I'm actually allowing myself to be so present and in the moment and enjoy what we put together, and what my team has put together, and all of the people that have come and the impact we're making, like I'm enjoying all of it, and that's my win. Lesley Logan 8:26  So, now, your mantra for today. This mantra actually came from an Instagram comment that is couple I'll just be honest. It's a couple months back, but you know, we're getting it to you now. This is from me.shay_427. My body is not my resume. My body is not my resume. My body is not my resume. I love this mantra so much I especially wanted, I saved it for this first FYF, because I think the pressures of society, especially with all that's going on, is like you've got to be just thinner and thinner and thinner and, my goodness, you guys, they want us so busy, like, distracting ourselves with self hate and all the stuff that we have to change about ourselves that we aren't noticing all the things they're trying to take from us. They don't want you playing big, because then you will take up their version of the pie. There's no pie. There's no pie of power, there's no pie of money, there's no pie of energy, and so take up all the fucking space, okay, and your body is not a resume. So go have a great day. Share this with a friend who needs to hear it. It would help this podcast grow very, very much. And I hope you're enjoying the series we've got going on. We've got some other series coming up. And have an amazing day Until next time, Be It Till You See It.Lesley Logan 9:52  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 10:34  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 10:39  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 10:44  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 10:51  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 10:54  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Description:As we close out the year, we wanted to do something a little different—and a little more tender. In this special end-of-year episode of For the Love, we're turning the mic over to you. Over the past months, your voicemails have poured in, telling the story of what it's been like to read Awake: the unraveling, the naming, the grief, the relief, the courage, the slow return to yourself. The messages were so honest and so resonant that we knew we needed to play some of them back—not just to honor the people who shared them, but to remind anyone listening in a similar space that they are not alone. We've woven these voices together in four acts, tracing the arc so many of us recognize. Act I — “The Moment Everything Broke” We hear from Nadine, Allison, and Sharon about the before-and-after moments: marriages ending, bodies shamed, the deep wounds of purity culture, and the rupture that comes when the life you were living can no longer hold. Act II — “Finding Language for the Ache” Paulette and Inez share what it means to finally name what couldn't be named before—untangling attachment and codependence, wrestling with faith, Jesus, and the pain of church rupture, and discovering words for a long-held ache. Act III — “Coming Back to Ourselves” With Kelly and Laura, we witness what healing can look like in motion: reclaiming agency, inhabiting our bodies again, joy returning, learning to cherish yourself, embracing life, committing to therapy, finding community, and being truly seen. Act IV — “Witnessing a Life Over Time” Tracy closes us out with the long view—what it means to trust the slow arc of a life, to be held in shared history, and to witness change unfolding over time. If something in you woke up this year—even painfully—you're not behind. You're right on time. And you are certainly not alone. Thought-provoking Quotes: “Here's to cherishing ourselves. We have so much to cherish.” – Kelly, For the Love listener “If you're willing to believe a voice from the future who has been sitting exactly where you are sitting…There is something after this story, even though you can't see that, something good is still coming for you.” – Jen Hatmaker “Everyone's experience can be a lantern to someone else.” – Amy Hardin “This is how it goes. This is how people are inspired and moved. This is how we lend courage to one another by saying our things out loud. And that is literally how my life moved. I listened to other people who were saying their thing out loud and I just was just sitting there quietly listening, going, I wonder if this is something I could consider.” – Jen Hatmaker Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Awake: A Memoir by Jen Hatmaker – https://amzn.to/44U2DuL Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie – https://amzn.to/48UTYcn Jen Hatmaker Book Club – https://shop.jenhatmaker.com/collections/book-club?srsltid=AfmBOooHcTDRzkwfxjaozkEQyYWtFpthqUtOcFwOOiSYTqO7fCTbaEsb Connect with Jen!Jen's Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/ Jen's Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen's Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/ Jen's Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen's YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Travel does not have to mean abandoning everything that helps you feel like yourself. In this Habits Series bonus episode, Lesley Logan shares how she maintains supportive routines while traveling without becoming rigid or stressed. She explains how to scale habits down on the road, identify what truly matters, and release routines that no longer serve you.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Why Lesley keeps habits while traveling to feel like herself.Using travel as feedback to clarify which habits truly matter most.Why travel habits must support you and never become a control system.How Lesley scales routines down instead of quitting them entirely.Planning trips around habits to make returning home routines easier.Episode References/Links:Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions Episode 610: Amy Ledin - https://beitpod.com/ep610Episode 611: Lesley & Brad - https://beitpod.com/ep611Episode 568: Anthony Benenati - https://beitpod.com/ep568Book: Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg - https://a.co/d/cW2pFicBook: Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie - https://a.co/d/75bOwAZBook: Your Big Leap Year by Gay Hendricks - https://a.co/d/7KY1pfkBook: The Sleep Revolution by Arianna Huffington - https://a.co/d/28dVERe If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  You can't be too rigid, but you do have to be aware if there are certain things that allow you to feel like you they must come and be part of a trip, have to, and if not, you got to find something that can be something part of your trip that helps you. Lesley Logan 0:16  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:54  All right, Be It babe. So in our Habits Series, I thought it would be really important to have a couple bonuses. And if there's topics that you want me, want me to cover about habits that I haven't yet, please send it in to the beitpod.com/questions we would love to hear. So I'm going to do a bonus on habits for when you're traveling, and then also another bonus episode on like habits that are more like health and movement related. If you are new to this podcast, hello. I'm the host of Be It Till You See It. And this is the bonus of a series. So I do want you to go back to the beginning of the series. That way you can see here Amy Ledin and I talk about habits. There's a recap episode with Brad and I on habits. And then there are truly six episodes that have to do with, like, actual creation of habits. So this is, this is more of a bonus, like, once you know how to create habits, then this will be helpful. Obviously, you can totally start here, because it's your life. Do what you want. Lesley Logan 1:54  So I travel a lot, and I am someone who, when I crave a little bit of certainty, we all do. Do you know, we, there are six needs and one of them, we all have a certainty. We also crave uncertainty. So that's super cool, but so I love to travel, but I also love my routines. My routines are just habits that I have created over time that helped me show up for me. In the last episode, I talked about how, like my morning habits and my night habits are the reason why I can show up for work. I cannot sit down at this computer. I'm not a computer person. I don't know how I end up creating a job where I'm at a computer all the time, but I am at the computer all the time, and it means that if I'm going to sit here and look at a screen all day, that I actually need to do things that help me feel like I have the energy, the clarity, the ability to lead and see things through a vision of what I want, of be it till I see it mindset I have to have. I start to have habits that help me with that, right? So that means, but when I travel, then what do I do? Do I just stop all of them? No, because I'm someone whose body craves, whose mind craves the routines that I've created for myself while I'm on the road. Otherwise, yes, there's absolutely vacations and reasons to take vacations from your whole life, but I promise you, have you ever been on a vacation? It's longer than a couple days, and you start to like, not feel anxious that you want to go home, but just like there's a few things you need that would make this even better. So for me, there are certain habits that I really do research to see if they're possible while I travel. So in order to share that with you, I will say like, I, there are, obviously I can't do all of my habits when I travel, but I do have an awareness of which habits do make the most, like, they've had the most effect on my life, and so that takes some time, and curiosity. Also, when you travel not doing some of your habits, allows you to realize which ones you miss. So something I will share with you is you're gonna get it wrong. You're, the trips you're gonna take, after listening to this, some of them will have the habits you want, and some of them won't. And you'll realize that some will have ones you're like, I actually could have not done that that caused more stress than it was worth. So always, always, always reflecting, refining and continuing on after each trip to help you make the next trip better. It's going to be really important. It's also really important to recognize, like, these are habits, but they're not a control system. So if ever any of these things are feeling like they're controlling you and your vacation, it's probably worth exploring what's going on, what's behind that. That's not something I'm an expert, expert in, but I have worked with many clients, so I do love to work out when I travel. It does make me feel better. I'll share more of that in a moment. But I've had clients that, when they travel, that not being able to work out as much as they normally do and have control over their food has gotten to an unhealthy level where it's no longer serving them. And so I would just one of the best things you can ask yourself, like, is this serving me? I made an episode with Anthony Benenati. I talked about, there's no such thing as something that's good or bad when it comes to the things you do for your life, it's just like, is it serving you or not serving you? And so I would definitely explore that with your vacations, and that requires some self awareness and some time reflecting on who you are and how you are being on your trip. But I think it's worth it. I think it's worth it. Otherwise you're just like, mindlessly going through life, and that's boring. And that's boring, and you're not gonna be it till you see it anything that way. So all right, here's the deal. If I'm traveling by plane versus traveling by car, it makes a big difference. So if I'm traveling like I'm driving, obviously I can bring more things. So when I can bring more things, I actually do keep some of a lot of my habits, I'll start with my nighttime habits for first. Often I do a red light routine, either on my face and neck, or I have a body mat that I do. I love to read at night. Those are really important things to me. I do love a little lymphatic drainage tool that I have, and depending on the night, I might even wash my hair, right? So if I'm driving, I can actually bring all those things so I can keep all my evening habits. I also play certain music before I fall asleep. If you want a really great book about like sleeping, there's by Arianna Huffington, I think it's just called Sleep. And she talks about the importance of a sleep routine. A sleep routine is just habits that you've created that help you, but it lets my brain know that, like I'm getting ready for sleep, right? I also, at night, before I go to bed, lay out the clothes for the next day's movement so they're already out, especially if I'm in a hotel or I'm in the van on tour, Brad is asleep, so I don't want any lights to wake him up too early, so I pull those clothes out. So it's so much easier for me. At home, believe it or not, I pull those clothes out because I do my morning routine starts in our extra bathroom, so I just put them out in that extra bathroom. So I can do all of my nighttime routines if I'm traveling by car. my morning routines, if I'm traveling by car, depending on the weather, I can do a lot of my morning routines. I can go for a morning walk, right? If I have got the dog, it's, it's a requirement. I can often go to a gym, especially when we're on tour, we're usually sleeping in a parking lot that belongs to a gym. So I can do that. Lesley Logan 7:15  I can get in, well, it won't be equipment Pilates. I can get in a mat Pilates session there. I won't be able to do like my shake plate or my cold plunge. The cold plunge is something that I do let go of on a retreat. I'm not driving around trying to find a place that's got a cold plunge. It's just that's just something that has to go and you'll but maybe not for you, maybe for you, you're staying at a hotel, you get ice buckets, you put them in the tub, and you have an ice bath like there are always ways to get around to different habits you want to have, but typically, especially if I'm on tour or I'm in a hotel, I'm just like, I'm not that's just something I'm gonna let go. It does mean I don't start the morning off with a giant rush, but there it is. I also, when I travel, if I travel by car, I'll bring my morning books that you've heard me talk about as part of my morning routine. If I'm traveling by plane, depending on how much space I have, I will bring one book. If I can't bring one book, then I take a picture of one book's daily messages, and I'll open up the photo on that day and read it. So I have a book like Journey To The Heart, and I have a couple others, like the Your Big Leap Year, and then this other one, and I like to read one entry of each of those in the morning. Sometimes they are saying the exact same thing, and I feel like it's like a wonderful Tarot reading. But when I travel, I just only do one. And I share this with you because we it's important that you know that you can actually titrate these habits when you travel, so you're not being so strict with yourself. So if I normally read three of them at home when I'm traveling, because, you know, everything just takes a little bit longer when you travel, like it takes longer to get that coffee, it takes longer to go find the food, so you don't have as much extra time. I'll just read one entry, and I'll have a picture of it if I don't have the space. So I will my workouts won't always be as long when I'm on the road than when they are at home, because, again, I don't have access to everything that I have. So what I if you one of the things I want to highlight, if you're listening to like this, who's like Lesley, I don't really care about your routine. The number of minutes I dedicate to part of my routine will change, oftenthey're less, but I still get to keep the habit and routine, which helps me feel like myself. And so when you're when you're traveling, whether it's by car or plane, I would just like, map out, like, okay, do, what, which of the which of my habits do I think serve me the most, and how possible are those? Some other things that I'm really intentional about when I travel is, like, the hotel we choose. Does it have a gym? If it doesn't have a gym, is there another hotel that's in the same range of price that we're looking at that has a gym? Do any of these hotels have relationships with a gym? Can Is there a gym nearby that I can pay a drop in fee to. So that is something when I'm planning trips that I'm very conscious of, not because I'm someone who's obsessed with working out, because I'm someone who's obsessed with how I feel after I've moved my body, right? I'm very intentional. I don't take a lot of Pilates classes because I personally like to do self-led workouts, even if there's a teacher watching. I just I prefer that for myself and my practice right now. So I'm not looking at Pilates studios. But you might, right? You might be like, oh my goodness, like, I love going to class. Then definitely pick a hotel that's near a studio, right? These are things it's okay to be like you know what I need in the morning? I need a really great cashew milk latte and a yoga class. Great. Look for cashew milk lattes in an area. Then look for if there's a yoga studio nearby, and then look for the hotel that's near that. Done. So I'm really intentional about when I plan a trip. I don't try to fit my routines into the trip. I actually plan the trip around my routines, and that's part of being it till you see it. That's also how you can maintain a lot of your habits while you're gone. Then here's the cool thing, when you come back, because you kept several of the habits, the routines you have, those things are often prompts for things you didn't do while you're gone, but it's still in your brain. Oh, after I work out, I get on my shake plate, or I stretch over here, I get in for my red light. It will all come back because, one, your mindset around it is positive, and two, you're bringing the prompt back in. If you are like, oh my gosh, I came back from a trip last time, it was really hard for me to get back to one of my habits, then I would love for you to go back to this whole series. One, let's make sure it's a habit you want to have. Two, is it at the time that you want to do? And three, is the prompt clear. You might have to actually kind of start that one back over. Maybe it needs some more celebration around it, till it sticks a little heavier. You know, I've been honest, like I'm starting a new habit, a new hobby, I should say, a new hobby. And hobbies are also habits, or just things that we decide to do, and something that I've been because of my travel schedule, I've been trying to figure out is, like, when is the best time for me to do this habit? When I'm at home, I can do it at night when I'm on the road. Can I still do it at night? Oh gosh, we have dinner with people every single night. Okay, that's a little harder to do. So should I be doing it when I have lunch? You know? Should I be doing it when I pull my computer out? So I am still trying to figure out that when this hobby can be done when I'm at home, this hobby is a little easier for me to put in the night routine. Like after I get home from the gym, I can work on this little hobby that I have I really like. It's quite easy for me to add into the day. Just when I travel, I find I'm having a little bit of trouble with it. I could also not do it when I travel and have, totally fine. Is it serving me? Is it distracting from my trip? Is it making my day too full? You know, these are things we have to understand. So when you travel, and you will travel, it's really important that you are aware, and this is going to come from self-reflection. Which parts of your day help you feel the most filled up? What are the some of the if you I'm not, I'm not gonna, if you have a specific type of tea that if you have it every morning, you just have the best day. And when you don't have it, you have a shit day, then you have, you owe it to yourself to figure out how do I have this best tea and then maybe while you're on a trip, you start something new. So I had on my retreat, one of the girls on my retreat, she was going to this cute little coffee shop every single morning, and she was doing her journaling. And then one day it was closed, and she was like, oh, it's not there. Okay, I guess I'll go to this other place to do it. And instead, she took the best parts of the of the place that she was going to, and she created it on our patio. And it's and the coolest thing about that, you guys, is she can do that at home. And she's like, oh, I could just do this at the house. It's like, yeah. So sometimes when you're on a trip, you discover something that you're like, if I could have this in my life every single day. And so that's why it's important, like, some of my habits don't come with me, because it opens up space for me to explore things that are lighting me up or allows me to go, wow, I really miss that thing. So then I'm really intentional when I'm at home to never miss it, and then maybe I have to consider bringing it along for the ride on the next trip. I hope this is making sense. I hope that you're understanding like it can't be too rigid, but you do have to be aware you are if there are certain things that allow you to feel like you they must come and be part of a trip, have to and if not, you got to find something that can be something part of your trip that helps you. You know, I get on planes all the time, and I see people pull out all these little tools, like people do the face mask. I don't understand that. That's something that doesn't work for me. That's not something that I care about on a plane. But I can tell you that I have set up on a plane. It's my sleep music so I can fall asleep on a plane, because I have a hard time doing that. I absolutely have compression socks, because that helps me feel good, you know? So everything we do is a habit. It's also a choice that is helping us either get close to the person we're trying to be it until we see or further away from it. So we got to have, like, a healthy balance, a healthy push and pull of what are the things that I need to take with me on a trip. What are the things I'm gonna leave behind, and then how did, how do I feel on that trip? You know, a lot of us are lucky enough that if, while we're traveling, we go, oh my God, I can't believe I left that thing at home. I need it. In most cases, we can buy it. You know, there are places you can't get it, but in a lot of places, you could probably buy the thing that would make you feel like you. Lesley Logan 15:21  So I'm going to wrap this up with when's your next trip between now and then, can you get some reflection around what, some clarity I should say, around what habit you want to take on that trip? And then can you do the research to see if it's possible, right? And then, when you're on that trip, every single day, at the end of the day, I want you to reflect, How'd that feel? How'd it go? Oh, actually, I thought I could do this, and that actually didn't happen. So instead of it being a half an hour, I'm gonna do 15 minutes. Instead of 15 minutes, I'm do five. Oh, actually, I brought those running shoes. Didn't run one single time. And you know what? I realized, I love running at home, but I don't like running on a trip. Okay, great. Now, you know. It's really you don't have to get this right. And in fact, getting it right is not how habits start in the first place. They start, they are created. They stick based on how they make you feel. And they have to make you feel good, because if they make you feel bad, your brain is going to avoid doing them. All right, loves, again, send your wins in. Send in the topics that you're wanting to hear, how we can help you with your habits, with that to beitpod.com/questions. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.Lesley Logan 16:29  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 17:12  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 17:16  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 17:21  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 17:28  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 17:31  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Lesley Logan reconnects with fat loss and mindset coach Amy Ledin to talk about the habits that actually stick in midlife. Amy shares how she's been navigating stage four cancer while still honoring her values, her energy, and the daily agreements that keep her grounded. Together, they revisit her 5 for 50 habit framework, explore the power of future self scripting, and break down why identity work—not willpower—is what creates change that lasts and helps you become the person who follows through.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:How Amy returned to routines and promises after her cancer recurrence.Why she created 5 for 50 and how doing it as a family builds confidence.How choosing a “test habit” and adjusting early makes hard habits feel doable.Why creating a health character and using rehearsal scripts rewires old loops.How changing your environment reduces decision fatigue and supports long-term habits.Episode References/Links:Amy Ledin's Website - https://www.leanbodiesconsulting.comAmy Ledin's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/amy_ledinLean Bodies Consulting's - https://facebook.com/leanbodiesconsultingF* It Podcast - https://beitpod.com/fitpodEpisode 5: Amy Ledin - https://beitpod.com/amyledinAtomic Habits by James Clear - https://a.co/d/874dad4Book: Your Big Leap Year by Gay Hendricks - https://a.co/d/ick374uJourney To The Heart by Melody Beattie - https://a.co/d/fT1sQ1cWillpower Doesn't Work by Benjamin Hardy - https://a.co/d/f5KQW2vLove Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant - https://a.co/d/8jKmYAhNicole Lepera - https://theholisticpsychologist.comGuest Bio:Amy Ledin is redefining what it means for midlife women to “look like they train.” As a coach and entrepreneur, she combines strength training, simplified nutrition, and deep mindset work to help women create bodies that reflect their discipline, not their diets. Through her unique tools; the Meal Card Method, Daily Agreement Cards, and Breakthrough Rehearsal Scripts, Amy helps women escape the all-or-nothing loop, rebuild consistency, and sustain results for life.A stage four non–small cell lung cancer fighter, Amy brings a rare blend of resilience and realness to everything she teaches, grounding her coaching in lived experience rather than perfection. She's also a devoted mom of five, a podcaster, and a community leader who believes identity work is the true driver for change. Whether she's guiding her clients or helping them script the actions of their “future self,” Amy's mission is to help women trust themselves again. Her work continues to empower thousands of women to build confidence, honor their bodies, and follow through on the promises they make to themselves. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Amy Ledin 0:00  My business character, I named her Amy Blakely. It's after Sarah Blakely. I pretend that I try to show up as her because I'm not as outgoing and as creative and fun and bubbly as Sarah. But when I create that character, my current self doesn't see it as a threat if I just say I'm just playing this role, you know. I'm coming on the podcast, playing a role that helps me show up as my best self. Like, I think a lot of us like forget that we have to, you know, we got to do it enough to become it.Lesley Logan 0:29  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:13  Be It babe, holy moly, this episode is one for the books. I mean, her first one was one for the books. She's fabulous and she's amazing. We cover a lot of topics. You can insert whatever it is that you want to be until you see in for what we're talking about in these ideas. Basically, I wanted to have Amy Ledin back, and she is back, and, like, top notch, better than ever. And the reason is, is because we are going to do a really fun series on habits, and Amy is the queen of how she gets people to create habits that are not torturous and also that allow them to really become the person they want to be. And I mean, every different example is a be it till you see it. So this week, it'll be Amy Ledin plus a recap, and then next week I'll kick off a series on how I help people with habits. There are two different ways, but you then can choose the adventure that works for you. And I'm really excited about it. I believe in what we just discussed in this episode so much, and I can't wait to hear what's coming. And then I want you to let us know, like, how are you doing? Are you able to make the habits to help you be it till you see it? So get ready, buckle up. We have a few weeks to talk about this topic. And first, it's the one and only Amy Ledin. Lesley Logan 2:24  Okay, Be It babe. Holy frickin moly. I can't even believe it. I am so freaking excited to see the woman who's on my screen right now. Like, I have saw it on my day. Like, this, is it two o'clock yet? Is it two o'clock yet? Amy Ledin is back. Episode Five. Can you (inaudible) I don't know what number this is but it's over 600.Amy Ledin 2:44  Wow, that's crazy.Lesley Logan 2:47  I know. I know. And you, oh, I have to tell you this, Amy, my mom heard your episode when it came out. She literally still only talks about that one out of all the podcasts. She's like, that woman with the cards, that woman, and then you had, like, the boss, the boss bitch, and like something else, and she's still Amy Ledin 3:06  Oh yeah, your inner bitch, inner boss. Lesley Logan 3:07  Oh yes, she quotes you to this day. It's been four years. Amy Ledin 3:13  I love it. I love it. Lesley Logan 3:15  So Amy, in case people are new to us, which there's probably a lot of people. Can you remind them who you are and what you rock at? Amy Ledin 3:22  Yes. Okay, so I'm Amy Ledin, as you know, and I am a fat loss and mindset coach, is what I would say. That's my forte. But I'm a podcaster. I'm a mom of five kids, you know, I'm a wife, a homeschool mom, you know, all the things you know, I'm someone that has overcome, you know, I've lost 90 pounds. I am a stage four non small cell lung cancer, you know, fighter. I am now, right now, I've been in remission. I wouldn't call real remission, but no evidence of active disease three times, and this fourth time that it's come back, it's spread to my brain. So I'm on all new medications. So I would say that's the biggest update since the last time I've been on here. But I am, you know, I am a perimenopause, menopause, you know, menopause coach, and that's because my audience is growing up with me. You know, I'm 47 so I'm in the thick of it as well. So I'd say that's who I am.Lesley Logan 4:18  Oh my gosh, Amy, I had no idea it had gone into the brain. That is because Brad and I were like, I wonder how she's doing. I wonder if she's back in remission. That has to be hard. Like, is it hard, I mean, or maybe you just don't want to feel sorry, like, maybe it gets annoying to feel sorry for yourself, like, I just want to, like, do you mind if we chat about it a little bit?Amy Ledin 4:34  It is annoying and no, and you know what? I love that you're just like, you ask it, because people don't. So it's been almost a year since I found out that it had spread, and it was a shock. Like, I was really shocked. In fact, I was coming back to my podcast. I'd already recorded several episodes, and then I got that news, and I just, it really did knock me. I really got this, like, just attitude of just, I was really angry. Like, I'm like, I don't get it. Like, what am I doing wrong, which is just the wrong attitude. But that took me a few months to kind of feel sorry for myself. And then it was like going back to all the things that you know I needed to do to, you know, all the things that I always did before. You know, my keeping my promises and having a routine and building these habits and really living in a future, you know, like living as if I am already there. And you know, that helped me kind of come back. But I will say, you know, it's really only been a couple months of me really feeling like myself again, because I've just been battling a lot of that, you know, loops of just, you know, panic and fear, and am I going to be lucky this time? And you know, all of that, so, you know, it's then I've really had to, honestly, just get into a high gear. And this is what I'm always good at, is when, you know, shit hits the fan. I am someone that does the opposite of what most do, and that is, they, they just crumble. Like I said, I had three, I say three months of, like, feeling sorry for myself. I was still operating at what would probably be someone else's like, 85% I think where mine came in was when I don't believe in myself, like, or if I'm having that fear, I can't do, say, podcasting, because it was one of the areas that I have to be super authentic. So it's the first thing that actually goes off the books, and it's actually the thing that I used to love the most, because it was, like my therapy, so I almost have to be in full alignment for me to come back. So like, right now I'm getting ready to relaunch, and I'm actually excited for the first time, because I'm like, Okay, I'm living it. I can share because, you know, you know this yourself, like it's an energy transfer that you're doing right now with other people, and so it is all about having the right energy to really get into that person. And so that's kind of, you know, where, it has been hard. But you know what, like, what makes me feel the best is showing up at a very super high level, levels that people would say, why are you even trying this? And that is just because I am proving that you can do so much.Lesley Logan 7:04  Yeah, I love what you said, like, you know, living as if I'm there, because that's the whole be it till you see it motto, right? Like, it's just, like, we're just getting there. And I just think, like, it's, I feel you in that, like, when something doesn't go my way, like, I am also very good at hitting, like, hitting the fifth gear. Like, when Covid happened, we were in the air coming back from Cambodia. I was like, okay, hold on, what don't they have? They need this. Oh, I can do that. Okay, there's that, right? And that's how we bought this house. Recently, we had a situation, and we got the worst news in the entire world, and the first thing for me to shut down is like, I have to, we talked about this before we hit record, I have to add value. I have to be on integrity. I have to have integrity with my word like that is such a value of mine. So we're going to even though we weren't allowed, what happened is, we're turning around the border with the right paperwork and the right permit, and they still wouldn't let us in. I was like, we're still going to do the event. We're still going to operate integrity. They're still getting everything that they wanted. They just don't get to hug me in 3d but I'm still going to do it. But the thing that had to go away is I couldn't show up on Instagram because I, like, all I wanted to do was, like, cry and go, like, this fucking sucks. But I'm not that person that I'm not the person who does that this fucking sucks. I'm the person who's like, Okay, this is what I went through, and this is what I did, and this is what I'm doing, right? So not that, like, my situation is all brain cancer. I want to make sure the listeners here, I heard that. I can hear that, but like, I can understand, like having to let go of something you love or that you enjoy doing, or that as an outlet for people to get to know you until you're in a place where you can go, okay, how am I going to operate in this way? Amy Ledin 8:36  Well, and no one wants, I mean, I'm not saying it needs to be like this toxic positivity, but day in and day out of someone just like being boohoo is also not a place that's really going to serve anyone, especially myself. I'm really not a big believer in sitting in it, so even when I'm in pain, my family knows I'm rarely going to tell you that I'm hurting or that I'm tired. Just know that's pretty much always for me. But why would I verbalize things like, I mean, your body goes to the direction that you speak to it, and so I just don't do that. So I'll take on the makeup, and I will do my hair and those things, because I see my reflection all day long. I really believe that's a big superpower that people don't realize. Like, you want to see a reflection of what you want to be feeling like, I don't feel that great. But when I see that other reflection of like, I'm like, oh, okay, yeah, versus man, if I didn't do anything, I think it just make me start to go more downhill. And I mean, everybody's different, but I'm a really big believer you got to show up as the person you want to be. Lesley Logan 9:37  Yeah, I love that, and it's true. Like, I not only do I it's not about toxic positivity. We had a really great episode about, like, happiness, and I was, I interviewed her, like, when there was the fires in California, and I said, you know, like, there's a bunch of people who like, why their houses are burning down. They're like, this is gonna mean something. And I'm like, that's not feeling your feelings. Like, yes, I do believe that everything does happen for a reason. I do believe that like, when doors close, it's because another door is going to open. Like, of course, but in the moment, you are allowed to feel the feeling. Amy Ledin 10:06  (inaudible) time. Lesley Logan 10:07  Yeah, like, feel your feelings. Amy Ledin 10:09  No one needs to tell me as I'm getting the news. Amy, this is because you know what, you can handle it. You know what I'm about ready to like, I'm, you know, that was the biggest thing that I really got tired of people like, oh my gosh, you're so strong. Like, I'm actually tired of being strong. You know what I mean?Lesley Logan 10:25  I do know what you mean. I'm going to say you're so resilient. I don't check on you. I'm like, I'm so tired of being resilient over it. But I do, I do think that, like, at what I also cannot handle is, like, why I can't be the person who's like, going to tell you what I'm going through in the process. I don't want the apologies. I don't want the I'm sorry for you. I don't want any of that stuff, because now I have to respond to that, because now I have to say, thank you.Amy Ledin 10:52  Well, I didn't even actually, and, you know, trust me, I'm going through therapy for this exact thing is, I actually didn't tell my family for a few months. I wanted to get like, several treatments, and my, not my, not my immediate family, like Mike's, like my parents and stuff, because I didn't want to go through that cycle right there. I wanted to already have an answer for, like, this is the diagnosis. This is what we're doing. I've already been doing it, and I've even had XYZ because I didn't, you know, you'll not see anything online about it, you know. You know, in our own private, you know, we have a paid group of women, 550 women, that, obviously I did, because I'd lost a lot between one of our training blocks, and I knew they'd see it in the filming. I film every round, you know, videos, and so I was open with them. But otherwise, I'm not that way, because I don't like the I don't like, to go through the phase of, like, let me give you, you know, I'm, I don't need that. Lesley Logan 11:45  Yeah. Well, also, like, it's, you know, you have to feel the feelings. You can grieve, the things that, like, were what you were expecting. And then it's true, we have to go. So what can I do? Like, what are the actions that I can take? Like, what is gonna what if I'm in pain all day, like, what can I do to make myself feel good and like, I agree, like, my days are better when I, like, Get up and get dressed for the day and put things on and like, go, okay, whoa. You know, we nailed that. Amy Ledin 12:11  Yeah. And I mean movement, like, I've had some really rough times over this last year where I've had to learn that if you get no mobility at all, it actually just increases that, the aches, the pains, you know, I had, I think it was like three days that I actually did not leave the house. And finally, like day three of my goal was just to get to the end of our driveway. And I just started to think, like, I mean, even if it's small, that is so much better than and getting sunlight, and, you know, all the things that just, really, honestly, I think, help our body. We're kind of like a plant that we need to, like, get out and, like, get in some soil, and, you know, so that's something that, you know, really, I think, is important, you know, as well. Lesley Logan 12:55  Yeah, I know, like, a body in motion, like, stays in motion, right? Like, it's easier for me. Yeah, I came home from my tour, and my girlfriend saw me like that next morning at the gym. She's like, wow, you're so good at being consistent. I'm like, first of all, I do have a trainer that will not renew with me if I don't check this off on the app. Second, I paid for it, so we're gonna do it. Third, if I use the excuse, oh, I just got home or I have a trip, I will never have, oh, consistent workout, and then I'm always having to start again, and then that is just like, never gonna feel good.Amy Ledin 13:30  And I say that to clients that I'm like, think about the person that's traveling all the time, like you're taking five days to land back into your life from a trip, and then like, five more days to get, like, recalibrated and like, that's just, you know, wasted time, right? So, yeah, and, I mean, you know this yourself, like, having habits, having routine, having structure, is just one more thing that I think helps, like, even your body feel at peace. At least for me, like, that's the last thing I need to be worrying about, is that. So it just feels good to get right back into like, I need to make sure I'm getting my walks in. I need to make sure I'm getting, like, my sleep routine, you know, like, that's a skill in itself, right?Lesley Logan 14:09  Yes. Well, that that is, I mean, like, everyone's like, how's it gonna be back? You must be tired. I'm like, oh no, well rested. Very behind on emails, because my sleep is going to come before my emails. But thank you so like, I'm well rested, all of my all of my Pilates, all of my weight training, all happened, not the emails, you know, you gotta have priorities. Amy Ledin 14:30  (inaudible) with the self-care. Lesley Logan 14:31  Yeah, so, okay, so you brought it up. So kicking off a habits block, because I hate the new year, new you stuff. It's not my favorite thing. I know you like, I've heard you talk about, like, upgrades. Like, I think that each year is a time for us to reflect. And like, we can think about the change what I'm bringing into the new year, but like, you're still you going into the new year with more experiences and and, and also smarter, because you've hopefully reflected on those and you've thought about these things, you experienced them. So I wanted to help people, like, understand how they can be it till they see it with their habits. And of course, you come to mind because people loved Episode Five. It's probably one of the most cited episodes we've had. It's come up many times. People still talk about it. But what are some of the tools that you use to to have habits? Because, my goodness, like, even with you've got five kids, you've got a business, you home school like you have to have habits or probably nothing gets done.Amy Ledin 15:24  Totally and we actually do it as a family. So I'm a big believer, you know, habits are not sexy because they need to be forever. So I'm a big believer in that you've got to make your habits fun, and you got to get creative around gamifying things that help you, like, level up. So you have your like, daily habits that you want to eventually just become forever things like, for me, it's like a daily walk, you know, three liters of water, like things that I just want to be background noise, but for a season, I mean, I may need to put them, like right front and center. And so we started creating something that we call 5 for 50 and it's five habits for 50 days. And the reason we do this is you pick five habits. But the key is, it's five that you need to do for the full 50 days, and four of them you have to intend to keep long term, like, don't start something for 49 days or 50 days that you don't really think maybe, you know, it might be a smaller version of that, but it's daily things. And so we do it as a family, you know, sometimes twice a year, typically like when mom's going through something hard, and I'm like, hey, you know what? Let's do 5 for 50 as a family. Because I always know, then we push ourselves like we just, I mean, I just feel better about myself. And so. (inaudible)Lesley Logan 16:35  And also it sounds like it gives you something else to focus on. You know. Amy Ledin 16:38  It is and and it's fun to see what the kids do like we so we did four that you wanted to do indefinitely, and the fifth one was some personal growth area where you want to dabble in it to see if it's like something you like. So, like one of my son, my 26 year old, he did that he had to draw for 30 minutes every day for, you know, 50 days. You know, my other daughter did guitar. And it also taught them that, like, wow, when you do, you know the compounding effect of this habit over time. And so I like, you know what I like about a timeline on something again, is that habits aren't sexy. They get boring for people. And so when you gamify, or when you do something where you're like, okay, I have a block, I have a start and a finish, what you're hoping at the finish is to drop those off of like you're right in front of you, writing down, and they just have become part of, like, your identity. They've just they you're now just pulled to do those things, because they've just become automatic. Now I test myself once I take them off, if I see that they're not I might reintroduce that like on say, like my DAC cards that I talked about on Episode Five, where I then write them in a structure of, like, these are the things that I'm keeping promises to during the day, but the Five For HIT 50 is really it's a habit one, there I tell my kids, I'm like, these are things that you know, maybe you're even doing them, but now you want to do them with like perfection, because you know how you do anything is how you do everything. Like, I tell people, I anchor my morning with my bed making. And it's funny, because when I make my bed, I literally take everything off. Like, Eric's like, is it seriously that, you know, necessary, to do? I'm like, yes, because it is a metaphor for how I want my day to go and how I want to treat myself, and that I don't cut corners. I don't I treat it like it's a hotel bed where I want the sheet sure. could I pull, like, we hardly move some nights where I literally could probably pull it back, but there's probably some little scenes down in the bottom. And I do find this. I find that it takes I've set a timer once, it only takes me, like three minutes and like 32 seconds, and I'm like the whole time I say mantras to myself, but I say this is a metaphor for how I want to show up. So I tell my kids, maybe they're habits you're already doing. Maybe you're brushing your teeth morning and night, but maybe it's going to be morning and night for the full two minutes, you know, with intention or whatever it may be, right? And what the kids see is these little things that become measurable really build your confidence. They start to think outside of what those are. And they're like, big fingers, you know, I find that my kids start coming up with ideas of, like, businesses, and that's just because they're believing in themselves. You know, like my daughter, she's like, I'm gonna sign up for soccer. And I'm like, Oh, really. Because she's like, going into high school and she's never played, and this was Leilani this last year, and I'm like, I'm so proud of her. Lesley Logan 19:21  She's going to high school? Amy Ledin 19:23  She's grade nine. Can you believe that?Lesley Logan 19:25  I can't Amy because I thought I haven't aged a bit. Amy Ledin 19:30  Yeah. So she, and she decided that, you know, out of the blue, that she wanted to start that, and I knew a lot of it had to do with doing these types of personal development things, where, when you can start measuring these habits like it's inevitable you're going to feel better about yourself. I mean anything from like Atomic Habits that I learned was when you start to even if it's two push ups a day, it's measuring that and seeing that compound effect over time. And it's not about the push ups. I tell people, it's what it represents that you do what you say you're going to do, and that you do it to the fullest. They're not like, half assed, like, that's why when I say what you write, you respect it, like, when you say you're gonna make your bed every morning. Don't just, like, throw it, because that's really how you're going to show up in all these other areas. Are you going to be the person that cuts the corner? Or are you the person that it's like, when I say I'm doing it till 5:30 it's till 5:30. Do you know what I mean, it's not 5:28.Lesley Logan 20:22  I actually really like the idea of like, one of them can be one, you just like, are testing out. Because I do think that when people are creating like habits that they want in their perfectionist tendencies, it's like, it's got to be all or nothing, and they're not giving themselves this permission. It's almost like, let me see like for right now. So I interviewed a girl who talked about tarot, and I said, I've always wanted to know about tarot because I was like, never allowed to play with tarot and and she's like, she's like, she's like, yeah, tarot actually was in the church. It was a way for you to self-reflect. And I was like, oh, well, tell me more. She's like, yeah, no, it was way to self-reflect, and you can actually use it as a tool to kind of figure out what's going on in your heart and your mind. I was like, oh, what a cool way for me to journal. And I have ever since hearing from like, interviewing her. I'm like, maybe I so I was like, I want to learn this, but then when you go to learn something new, it's like, it's hard, it's hard to take in the new stuff when you got the other stuff. And so I've, like, tried different books, and I was like, okay, here's what I do. I'm going to take this app. I'm going to do it for 30 days, but now I'm going to just put as my five for 50, and I'm going to see if, after 50 days, do I still want to learn this. Because it's also okay for me to say, you know, that was interesting and I didn't do what I wanted to do, and that's okay, you know, we can let things go, but we gave it our full effort.Amy Ledin 21:38  And telling your brain you can stop it at 50. Some of these long term habits that, like, let's say meditation, like, let's say you've wanted to dabble in it, but you're like, the idea of knowing it's something you really should implement forever kind of just seems like daunting. I'll be honest. Like, I'm like, oh crap, something I gotta do forever. Let's just wait to do that. But if you tell me, hey, just dabble in it for 50 days, see how you feel now be 100% for those 50 days, because that's the key. Like, it is crazy what happens when you go all in on anything, even if it's five minutes, if you're like, Hey, I'm going to just for five minutes a day, do this like our kids, because we let them choose the duration, and we did allow them within the first week of once we started it, you could change like, like, my one son, he was like, 30 minutes of drawing every day was just too much. I realized within the first few days that like sitting there with something that I'm not even, like, familiar with yet, because he's, like, he's 26 trying to get into it. So he and me, within the first week, we let them redefine the agreement you don't want to wait too long, because sometimes that's just your voice of compromise going, oh, so that's why it's like a seven day window. We say, okay, you've got seven days to come back to the drawing board. And I think he shortened his by 15 to 15 because he's like, realistically, I'm gonna hate it if I tell myself this, whereas, like my other kid was like, I'm gonna bump mine to 20 minutes, because 10 is not long enough or, you know, but it was really good for them to see what they were doing. But the compounding effect, like, I think we had one kid that decided to do, like the tennis bound like every day, just practice the hand eye coordination, which honestly made me realize, gosh, I need to do this, because my hand eye is not that great. He did this for 50 days. You become like a Michael Jordan, like, it is the compounding effect that people do not realize. Like, all you got to do is do something consecutively and like, over and over to get good, but knowing there's an end in sight, like, it helped me get back into journaling. Because I was like, okay, I just got to do it for 50 days. Let's see if this really is, like, worth doing the rehearsal scripts. And at the 50 days, I was like, holy crap. Like, it's actually making me feel better, you know, but I wouldn't have given it a shot, because I'm like, I don't want to add another thing into my life. Lesley Logan 23:42  I love that you said that Amy, because I think you and I, one of the things that, like, we became fast friends, is like, we are committers. We say we're if we say we're gonna do something, we're gonna do it. We show up for it. We have a lot of habits that we're really good at. Some, because we're humans, we like, go up. But I it's also like, for me, I'm like, hold on before I say I'm gonna do that. Like, where is that going to end in my day? Because I don't want to be like, I didn't do that today, because I hate that feeling like, that is my worst feeling. So I too, am like, okay, hold on. But it's like, oh, for 50 days. Well, then I can really see if I like it, and I can also see if I got good at it. I could also see, like, you know, it didn't really change anything. So I can let it go.Amy Ledin 24:21  Totally. And writing it in a scripting way, like I find, like, even with my DACs, one area that I've changed with myself is the way you say things to your brain really matters, and it really needs to be identity shifting, and that you're like, I want to, I'm going to, you know, practice the guitar for 30 minutes every day for 50 days, because I want to show myself that committing to something that typically I resist because it's hard and there's a learning curve, like, go on with the details to yourself so that sticks more, because every day, like growth is hard, like I, I hate to break it to people. It's the only place, I mean, like, hardness is where you actually grow. And, I mean, it freaking sucks, like, when this came back and people are like, Oh, you'll grow. I'm like, you know, I don't want to, but I actually can appreciate after the fact that I'm like, there's another layer to me that I'm obviously, like, uncovering through this. I don't want to be told that right in the moment. I don't think anyone should, and I think that, you know, just and I really hate when people apologize and go, oh, but you have cancer. It is all relative to you. It's like trauma to your body. It doesn't matter if it's like you tripped over a pebble or you got shot by a gun, it's how your body reacted to that and how it sees it. So I never want to discount that, because I feel like my clients have just as big, they feel like just as big of problems in those moments, especially to their bodies, as it does to me. So it's really like trying to be aware of that and seeing your habits, like, why are you making this a habit? You know, what's the reason behind this? Like, I used to be one of those that like make especially when I, you know, probably around when I first met you, it was like making the list and doing the charts. I mean, I have like, seven different journals I was using and trying to, you know, color code. And it just was too much pause and go. I mean, why am I doing this? What is the long term gain of this habit right here? And really try to tie it to the identity that you're chasing. Like, is it gonna help your health character and you becoming like your best self? Is it, you know, or is this just like an ego booster that you're gonna post on Instagram, that you're doing cold plunges? What's the real reason behind it? Because I find that we are so, you know, geared to be like, now we're doing colostrum, next we're doing greens. And my habits to do 30 days of greens. Lesley Logan 26:45  Oh my God, Amy, thank you so much. Everyone is like, on this colostrum kick. And I like, obviously, it's not human colostrum, but like, my sensitivity chart came back, and she's like, human colostrum. And I was like, that's so fascinating. Like, I'm not having that. But I'm also like, I'm also like, not gonna like, now I'm like, I'm like, all there's this. Everyone is like, and now we're on to this now. And it's so funny, because we have been on the on Instagram for work, and we see our friends, and it's like, I do have a cold plunge. I love my cold plunge. I am not going for 15 minutes. I get in there, and the first thing in the morning it wakes me up. That is why I do it. So for habits, why it's like I get it because I I have the hardest time remembering what day it is and why am I up in the morning. And I love the morning. So I get in and I read three books. They're each daily message books, because I wanted to read them. Yeah, I read, Gay Hendrick says, Your Big Leap Year. So I read one page of that. I read, I think it's Melody Beattie's, like Journey to the Heart, and I read someone else's and it's like I read, and they're often different messages, but I whatever one that sticks with me then I think about that as I go on my morning walk, and that's how I do it. And I found that was taking me a long time to get out on the morning walk, so I have a cold plunge for that, but I find, to your point of the why, why are you doing this? Because it's the end thing to do. It's what they're saying the next perimenopausal woman should be doing or shouldn't be doing, because I have people like, you shouldn't be cold plunging. I'm like, back off. It makes me feel good.Amy Ledin 28:12  It's a crazy world. I mean, I'm even in the industry, and I even say, wow, I feel for females these days. Because you know what? You get really bamboozled. I mean, people even, like they're doing a real they'll even show, over here, like a medical journal study, that they'll pop up and go and according to this, you should, well, now, if you're smart like me, and you want to be, you know, funny, you go check what that is. Well, it'll be like a research study on like, 85 year olds. And I'm like, man, context, please. But because they're like, a white coat doctor, and they're coming, you know, like, and they have 100,000 followers. And trust me, I am guilty of it too. When I was looking for back help, I'm not a chiropractor, so, like, I'm at the mercy of what I find. It's just like a person coming to the fat loss space, right? So I'm looking at, like, oh, they have a million followers. I mean, you see this in the Pilates space. Like, it's really, really scary. I think we're going to get back going full circle. It'll start to be referral. People are only going to trust who has because now everyone's been through something, and they've all had an experience. So now they're like, tell me who you (inaudible).Lesley Logan 29:18  I actually agree with you, because of all the AI stuff. Like, now I'm like, I actually go to Brad and go is this real? Do you think this is real before, like, I share it because, like, it's so easy, and now there's so much marketing that's using chat bots and AI that I think people are gonna stop using the socials to find even though that's where they it's been going that way to start finding things. I think people are gonna stop because it's gonna be referral. Because, like, you do. You know a real human who's acting like a real human, and it's but I agree. I mean, you're in the fat loss space. I'm in the Pilates space. I have so many people going, well, this is Pilates, and I'm like, no, honey, it's not, but no, I'm not going to go around telling people what is and isn't, because I'm not here to be in a fight with people. I'm here to help people. So I'm not going to help with an imitation.Amy Ledin 29:59  We're the same. I don't have enough time in my day to come hate on what you're doing. You if you think what you're doing is working for you, do it. I support you. And I think there's more than one way. Now, I think Pilates and I think even strength training, there are certain biomechanical like things to it. But I am not going to be a person that's a coach that sits and just like trashes everybody else you know, and does videos about them. I don't think that that helps, you know, personally, I think, and maybe it does, but the energy that I would be working in in that space would never make me be a creator in the way that I want to be, because I think I'd just be, you know. Lesley Logan 30:35  Oh, I just think in the industry you have, yeah, and I think so I feel like I love the honesty and like, it's so I mean, like most of the people listening are women, it is so easy to be bamboozled, but what I love about you and your ideas here, it's like, what do you want? Like, what do you want? And then why do you want it? Because I actually don't think that your why has to be something stellar, but you do have to know why. Because I think, like, do you want to run a marathon because you want a habit of running? Well, then we can, we should probably don't have to run a marathon. We can change the habit. Or are you wanting to run because you have a friend that you want to keep up? Or is it because you want to, like, what's the why? So that you can, one, test the habit, and your Five for 50, or two, maybe it's the wrong habit, like, maybe that's not the thing that you should be doing. Once you figure out the why, there might be an easier or more accessible one to you.Amy Ledin 31:29  And make the habit something that long term is going to give you the biggest bang for your buck. Maybe it's not following a macro plan right away. Maybe it's actually meal prepping, like I, you know, I tell people, do you have to earn the right to lose fat? So like my daughter Kamele, this last year wanted to go on like, her first diet, and she's 22 and so I said, well, before I'm even going to give you a meal plan that has macros on it, you need to prove to me that you're actually going to live the identity of the fit person. Fit people, they prep meals. Fit people have a fridge full of stuff. They don't come home and have like, I mean, that's just not how they live. They fuel themselves, right? So I said, what I want you to do is just set some meal times improve over the next few weeks that you're going to pack meals. I don't even care if it's I don't care what it is that you're packing. It's the habit of the identity of that person. And then I broke down the macros, and it's great, because she doesn't associate, like being a fit person, because she's lost 20 pounds, because she just dialed in and titrated those meals. But it was all about the identity of that fit person and how now she's like, I don't associate it. She goes, it's funny. In fact, everyone at my work, she works at Lulu, and they're like, wow, Kamele, you started eating more, and now you're like, 20 pounds lighter, because she was, like, packing her meals and being on a set, you know, routine with it, and fueling herself, right? And so, plus, it taught her too, this was it's not about your macro breakdown, honey, because she even lost weight, even just packing the meals and, like, living that way. I said, it's because you were intentional. You were prioritizing protein. You were eating on on a, on a, on a routine, like set times your leptin and ghrelin, like that, like, so find those five like in those habits. Maybe it's something that's going to get you the bigger you know, the lower hanging fruit. And honestly, to the brain, meal prep sounds a lot easier than follow my macros 100% for 50 days. That can seem really daunting to the person that's like, struggled, maybe they've had food issues or binge issues and all that. Lesley Logan 33:26  I think this is I will always highlight. I love when, like, all my friends who are coaches of this space, most people are just not eating enough, and they're not eating intentionally. And so, like, I just, like, want to highlight, yes, well, you can often eat more and lose weight, if that's the journey you want to go on, most people start eating enough or not eating the right things. But I love, you brought up, this a couple times, so let's just break it down. Identity, like the identity of the person. So it's like, it's beyond the why. It's like, who you want to be and what do they do, and then doing that now.Amy Ledin 33:59  Yes, it's totally around your Be It, it's like you need to write. I mean, it's like, we make our clients create a health character. What does she look like? What is she wearing? What does her daily routine look like? What's her fridge look like? What's her closet look like? What size is she wearing? Not that those matter, but they do to your brain to start to really see and paint the picture, because they've done too many studies in all these areas, whether it be, I mean, lottery winners, big, huge studies on why do almost 95% of them go bankrupt after we're talking like tens of millions of dollars if they win. Because, you know what, their identity is, still of a poor person. Right? So fat loss, 95% of people that lose it actually regain, it's already hard enough to lose it, so you work so hard to get there. So I don't, it's why that's such a big part of the component for our clients is the last thing I want to do is see you in two years from now, because you just got really good at disciplining yourself for a season. I want this to be who you are, and you got to commit to who that person is, and what does that look like for that person. You know what I mean?Lesley Logan 35:02  Yeah, yeah. So I think that's, it is totally Be It. It's just like, it's like, I want to start a business. Like, well, what does that person do with okay, the business is working. It's rolling. It's all the things you thought it would be like, how do they get up? What do they wear? What is their schedule like? What is that happening? And then, because you start to do the things or thinking like that. It makes it so much easier to step up the next thing, yeah, no, the macros thing like. Amy Ledin 35:25  It's not a threat. And look at it from a brain standpoint, your brain does not see it as a threat. It comes back to like, it's like the Sasha Fierce with Beyonce, like that was a create a character she created. My business character, I named her Amy Blakely. It's after Sarah Blakely. I pretend that I try to show up as her because I'm not as outgoing and as creative and fun and bubbly as Sarah. But when I create that character, my current self doesn't see it as a threat. If I just say I'm just playing this role, you know, I'm coming on the podcast, playing a role that helps me show up as my best self. Like I think a lot of us, like, forget that we have to, you know, we got to do it enough to become it, right?Lesley Logan 36:05  Yes, yes. Well, I think, like, so many people go, oh, this is like, I don't want to fake it till I make it. You're not because, like, I have found, you know, like, you have a bad, let's just say you have a bad night's sleep, but you have a presentation that day. You don't go and go, guys, I'm so tired, and give you a presentation. No, you step up to the person who could be the person who believes that does a presentation nine times out of 10. You actually feel better when the presentation is over, because you you are acting as if you're the person who was doing a great presentation and became that person. That is what's happening. Yes, yeah.Amy Ledin 36:38  And epigenetics shows us like, you know, if you follow Nicole LePera, I've got to give her credit, she's been doing these, what they call Future Self Journaling, where she believes that every day you should script out your day. We do a version of it in our community where I want them to even script out like their their day as a as their health character. And because of what we've seen in the brain is that the more that you wire that future of like it sure, it's not who you are yet, but it's who you want to be. Your brain actually doesn't see the difference, and they're now seeing that the brain wires that way. So if you're in your 40s, 50s or older, I always say if you have struggled with fat loss, and you are already at this age, you have a rewiring issue that you need to address. Because if 95, 91% of your thoughts every day are the same, statistics will show me, you will continue to come back to this old person that you say you are and talk about and believe in. So if you're trying to become like a business owner and become like owning a Pilates studio or whatever it may be, you have to start scripting. And the older you get, and I just say it's (inaudible). Lesley Logan 37:40  So like, do you just like script out like, 5 a.m. 6 a.m. or do you like go, I am so and so doing this, like, what does it look like?Amy Ledin 37:46  It's doing this, it's more of a behavior like you'll have an outline of, like, I, you know, as I wake up today, I effortlesly, you know, keep my small promises in the morning. And you might at first detail them out, because the whole point is to this doesn't change very often, your script stays the same because you're trying to work on an area of your life, like in therapy. It's like, if you're an overreactor, if you're struggling with worthiness, it's it's a daily thing, because you're trying to show that you can change who you are, and now epigenetics is proving it, which is positive. Because here's the thing, you may have been born into someone because now they're showing with epigenetics, like it's connected even in the womb. So that really was hard for me, because when I got pregnant with Leilani, I was in a really, you know, I it was broke up my family, you know, I'd had an affair. So my pregnancy came in a place where it was a very unwanted pregnancy, and I talked, probably very negatively to myself. Well, this next book that Nicola is coming out with talks all about how they're showing and so those children can actually already be born anxious and have like attachment styles based on just the way that you have talked. So at first I was like, man, what a depressing thing to hear. But her whole point is to teach us like we're all broken humans, like we've all come from some sort of crap. And so the power of this book was to teach us that our brain is actually the neuroplasticity and our ability to change. If you're an introvert, you can become an extrovert. If like you are, you know, you say you're one way, you really can actually change. And it's doesn't take long, you know, it's 50. It's kind of similar to habits. It's about that 60 day mark we're we've tested it out with clients. I've done beta testing, and now we make it a part of our program where for 60 days, I have to do this journaling, because I'm so tired of women grunting their way to reaching their goals. I want it to pull you. I want your identity to pull you to become that. And a lot of them are starting to go why is it suddenly feeling easier to meal prep stuff that I like my lazy self, you know, is always fighting. I'm like, because you're scripting about a new person, and your brain is just seeing that is the place I need to go. It's like, it doesn't even know the difference. It just thinks it needs to do it. So less resistance. So same thing with these habits. Try to find, you know, some connection to that identity, the way you write it because you want to have less resistance. You don't want to be like you know, otherwise you will try to use motivation to do it and it never is lasting. Lesley Logan 40:09  Motivation is this interesting thing that everyone thinks they need. Once I'm motivated, and it's like you just, and we'll talk about this in the habit series I've got coming out. Like motivation is one of the worst things you can it will help with something really hard. Like, if you have to do something that's really difficult, motivation is very helpful to, like, it's like the starter in the car. It only works to start the car, right? This is as far as my car metaphor is gonna go, because that's all I know about cars. And then it's like all the others. It's the gasoline. It's you putting the gas, putting your foot on the pedal, all that stuff. So but people think it's gonna, it's gonna show up every day. I cannot wait to be motivated to do anything. I would get nothing done. Nothing would none of the things I built would have have been built because of motivation. Amy Ledin 40:51  Yep, yep. And it's kind of aligned with willpower. I will say a book, I don't know if you've read it, but you would love it, and he'd be a great person to have on because I think he's a small author. It's called Willpower Doesn't Work, and it is a whole book on he's got studies in there, charts that show essentially that it is all about your environment. Like that is the key that most people it's it's everything, whether it be friendships, it be your actual physical environment, that that is way better than because willpower is finite, and like, you can't count on that. It's why, in the morning the cupcake is less tempting than, say, like, at night. So like, instead of, like, having the willpower of having that cupcake here all day, why is it at night? I want it. You need to see that your environment is more powerful. Hey, decision fatigue at the end of the night, I don't need to have things out that I'm already weak to or, anyways, you would just love it, because it's just made me stop shaming myself for stuff that I'm like, seriously, I need to change the environment. You know, I've even said to clients, the best time to really change a big habit, like a bad habit, like, I had a client, she's like, every night we sit on the couch, we eat a snack. I said, Hey, when's your next time you're out of town? Because having a break from your environment and then coming back into it is the best time to shift into a new habit. Now for the next several days, don't even sit on the couch like let your brain completely because it is all about connection and loops, you know, for most of us at this age.Lesley Logan 42:16  It's true. It's true. This year that I'm doing we talk about how to unravel a habit you don't like, and it's one of the things, and I'll dive deeper in the episode, but it's like, how what is the prompt that starts the sitting down on the couch? There is something that starts that, and if you don't know what that something is, you can get rid of your couch, and you're still gonna find something to sit on, because there's a prompt there. Amy Ledin 42:39  It's true. And yes, because it's it started earlier. I have a client right now that we've realized her overwhelm with work makes her go to any like, highly palette. It doesn't have to be chocolate chips. At first, she's like, it's the chocolate chips. I'm like, girl, no, tomorrow will be something different, but it's not about the pantry. I'm like, it starts earlier. And that you start to see failure in your day and overwhelm, and that loop is when I'm failing okay, this is kind of like my coping mechanism, you know, so much, and so it's interesting. I'm like, man, I feel like we're therapy one on one. But even in, you know, someone that wants to have a business, they're all parallel, all of it, because it's a personal development journey.Lesley Logan 43:18  Everything, whatever it is, like, that's why I like that identity and like you can see yourself in like different things. Anything that you want to do, and how it's like it, it we, it works the same. You, it's you have to prepare the environment. You have to know why you want to do it, and then you have to tell you have to believe that you can. And I think like because like you, you cannot shame yourself into something you want. It will not work. And you talk about, like, the clients, like, grit themselves to getting there, and then they're just be back in two years, because nothing changed, and they didn't become who they wanted to be on that journey. Oh my gosh. Okay. I mean, I, obviously, I could talk to you forever about this, because, like, this is just something I like to nerd about. But I just love that we think the same way on this, because it's really, it's really easy, I think, for people to, like, want to start 17 new things at the same time, or like, they, you know, and like, it's an I have to do it for an hour, and it's like, hold on, like, let's, you know, we got to adjust the timeline of what it is. And I really think, you know, making sure you know why you want to do it. The script thing is a really cool thing to add to it. I have to say, like, I kind of like the idea of like writing yourself a script for the day and how it's gonna go, that's a be it till you see it, and also, like a manifestation and a drawing in, I think that's really beautiful, Amy. Well, we're gonna take a quick break, and we're gonna find out where people can find you, follow you, work with you, and then we're gonna do your Be It Action Items. Amy Ledin 44:36  Okay. Lesley Logan 44:37  All right, Amy, where do you hang out? Where can they stalk you in the best way? Amy Ledin 44:42  I am, I'm on Instagram, you know, under amy_ledin if you are, like, still a Facebook person, though, I will say that is, like, where our business really lands. So it's under Lean Bodies Consulting. I post daily there, and then, you know, by the time this episode's out, my podcast, you know, which is called F* It! so you can find me there.Lesley Logan 45:00  I love your podcast. It's so great. I also want to say, like, I admire that you take pauses when you need to with it, because I think you are so good at podcasting. You're so wonderful at it. All of your episodes I've ever listened to are so good. And you're also allowed to be a human and take time for yourself. You have given us so much already, but you know how the show goes, we need Be It Action Items, bold, executable, intrinsic or target steps people can take to be it till they see it. I mean, the whole episode kind of was one, but anything you want to add or remind us.Amy Ledin 45:29  Well, you know what? I actually tied it to your acronym, to the DACs, and it's like, bold, one agreement that matters, like, pick one, like, maybe you need to start just with one. Executable is your E, you know, like, write it in real words, not vague. So be specific on what you're really shooting for. The intrinsic is link it to how you want to feel, not just like, how much you want to weigh, how much money. Like, how do you really want to feel there? What's the money? What's the scale going to give you? And then targeted, today, not someday. Like, be very specific.Lesley Logan 46:01  Oh, my God, that's brilliant. You're so good. I love it so much, you guys. I can't even wait to hear how this episode goes. It's just so fun to have you back and see what you're up to, and also just be reminded of, like, how powerful we all really are. Our minds are really powerful. And I love the science behind that. That book sounds amazing. I can't wait to read it. I'll have to have it on. You know what, before I go. And I'm gonna say this, because, in case anyone knows this person, I'm trying to get hold of them, there's a book called Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna do a little series on, like a self like, a week long series on self-love. Because everybody who talks about, I burnt out, I'm this. And the book the author, he says, You'll never burn out if you actually love yourself. Because if you truly loved yourself, you wouldn't say yes, when you mean no, you would actually, like take time for yourself. And that's so like, I think those two books sound like a nice little bookend, but also, like everything we're talking about here today, it's, it's all part of it, you know, it's all like holistic it's, we're not little compartments. So thank you for being you, Amy. You guys, make sure you check out her Instagram, her podcast, her Facebook. Tell her what your favorite takeaways are. You can tell me, I love it, but also tell her these words of affirmation are our love language also lets us know what your favorite parts are. Share this with a friend who needs to hear it. You know, it's actually kind of difficult to go through all these like 5 for 50 alone. Sometimes it's kind of nice to have some friends to do it with, or your kiddos to do it with. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.Lesley Logan 47:27  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 48:10  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 48:14  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 48:19  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 48:26  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 48:29  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Gratitude makes sense of the past, brings peace to the present, and creates a vision of the future.” ~ Melody Beattie (https://www.billcrawfordphd.com/quote-video-blog/)

I'm doing something new today and I have made an episode for the whole family. So you don't have to listen to this in your earbuds. You can push "play" while you're riding in the car and listen because this is all about thanksgiving and how we can practice gratitude.   Melody Beattie said:            "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life." That is what we're talking about today. Resources from this episode: Dwell Bible App Discount Rhythms Reset  Send Nancy an audio message! Join my email list!  Visit my Amazon Cornerstore! Nancy Ray Website Nancy Ray on Instagram Affiliate links have been used in this post! I do receive a commission when you choose to purchase through these links, and that helps me keep this podcast up and running—I truly appreciate when you choose to use them!  

Inspired by the energy around Taylor Swift's The Life of a Showgirl, this week I'm pulling back the curtain on what it really looks like to create, grow, and stay the course not just in business, but in life.In this episode, we're talking about the “side trips” along the way — those unexpected detours that shape who we become — and how to keep showing up even when the path doesn't look perfect. You'll hear reflections from Melody Beattie's timeless wisdom about trusting the journey, learning from others, and allowing space for both doubt and discovery.Because whether you run a business or not, your life is your business. You are the entrepreneur of your own story through building, learning, and glowing brighter one experience at a time.

Melody Beatty wrote a number of really important books, including most famously Codependent No More, and she actually passed away in February of 2025, which makes this really moving interview so much sweeter. I am happy for you to get a chance to experience some of her warmth and honesty and courage.Bestselling author Melody Beattie comes on the show to teach us about codependency, loving yourself more than others, setting limits, and generally being a badass.https://melodybeattie.com/https://www.facebook.com/writermelodybeattie/  Twitter: @MelodyBeattieInsta: @authormelodybeattieEva's instagram: @iamevaliaoBook a discovery call with EvaKyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwellKyley's free mini-course 

Codependent? No more! As I've been learning about my own codependent tendencies, I've started noticing all the ways they show up in the culture and doctrine of high-demand religions. In this episode, we'll cover Codependency 101, I'll share my journey of recognizing those patterns in family, friendships, and marriage—and how I'm working to shift them. Then we'll dive into how Mormonism (and other high-demand religions) can supercharge those dynamics. LFG! Melody Beattie's “Codependent No More” Dr. Julie Hanks on patriarchal cultures and enmeshment Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠here.⁠ For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠TikTok⁠ and ⁠YouTube⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamppodcast@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When was the last time you really allowed yourself to feel everything without judgment, distraction, or the pressure to move on to the next thing? In this episode, I open up about the emotional purpose behind my upcoming cross-country road trip. After a whirlwind few years filled with surgery, loss, milestones, and transformation, I realized I hadn't fully processed so much of what I'd been carrying. This trip is my way of slowing down, reconnecting with nature, and making space to feel all the feelings I've had to put on hold. From chance encounters to meditation messages, the universe keeps nudging me toward this deeper intention, and I'm listening. If you've been powering through without taking time to truly check in with your heart, this episode invites you to reflect, release, and reconnect with yourself. Let's explore what it means to feel our feels and move forward from a more grounded and present place in today's Wise Walk. Are there moments over the past several years where you've been too busy to fully feel your emotions; the good, the challenging and everything in between? Have you ever acknowledged your feelings but skipped the part where you truly unpack, accept, and allow them to move through you? Are you taking time now to honor how far you've come and the full range of emotions you've experienced along the way? Are messages surfacing in your life through people or patterns that feel like gentle nudges from the universe? What would it look like to carve out time to drop into your heart and feel what those messages mean for you? How can you support yourself emotionally so you can move forward as your highest and best self? If you're not seeing clear messages, can you get curious about what themes are showing up in your life right now? What do you feel called to notice, feel, or act on from what's rising up within you? Can you slow down, minimize distractions, and give yourself space to fully feel your feels? As you tune in, can you name what you're feeling so you can release it, understand it, and move through it with clarity? What might change in your life if you stopped letting your emotions “own you,” and instead you owned them with awareness and compassion? I'd love to hear what feelings are surfacing for you right now. How are you planning to slow down, check your reality, and express those emotions in ways that truly serve you? I'm also looking forward to our chat on next Thursday's Wise Walk.   In this episode: [04:55] I had already been thinking about this intention of the road trip being a healing journey to feel my feels, to get back to writing. [06:12] During this morning's yoga class, the meditation I read from Melody Beattie's Journey to the Heart was all about allowing our feelings to surface. [07:09] People in class needed to hear this message, and it inspired this episode. [08:03] I made a new friend in the line at UPS. His catch phrase was "feel it". [10:51] Talking to my new friend about his future podcast made me think of my own podcast and its origins. I started it five years ago. It's funny how it has evolved.  [11:29] The Wise Walk intention is so powerful, because it's all about slowing down, dropping into our heart, and checking our reality. [12:37] On this trip I'm going to have drive time. There will be music, audiobooks, conversations with friends, and quiet time for reflection. I'll be present for the ride.  [14:28] Whatever you feel, it is okay. We need to feel our feelings, because they communicate to us. We need to pay attention.   Memorable Quotes: “There's just so much richness in how we can move forward if we pay attention to what our heart is saying.” - Mary Tess “This road trip represents an opportunity for me to heal, feel my feels, and then let that creativity flow through my writing, which is really important to me.” - Mary Tess “Part of what I need to do is allow whatever feelings to come up and to honor them, to accept them, and to name them.” - Mary Tess   Links and Resources: Mary Tess Rooney Email Facebook | LinkedIn | Twitter | Instagram Heart Value  

Something unexpected happened this morning that touched my heart and made me remember how important it is to be open. I grabbed my well-loved copy of Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie as I got ready to teach yoga. Usually, I read the meditation that was prescribed for that day, but this time I ended up on a page I wasn't supposed to. I felt like the meditation selected me, not the other way around. It was called "It's Safe to Open Your Heart." That message rang home for me, especially after something had happened recently that made me want to shut down and shield my heart. But instead of backing away, I leaned forward. I began to think about how patterns from the past, especially those that originated in childhood, still affect how I love and be loved today. This episode is about gently seeing those patterns, letting go of where we've hardened, and deciding to be open even when it seems risky. So, on this week's Wise Walk, we'll look at areas we could be protecting our hearts and how we might let love, connection, and healing in while still keeping healthy boundaries. You're not the only one who has ever felt the pull between being vulnerable and protecting yourself. Let's go through it together and find strength in our weakness. ●      Do you feel it's safe to open your heart right now, or are you guarding it in your personal or professional life? ●      Can you set healthy boundaries to manage fear or stress so you can open your heart and see what's possible? ●      Where in your life are you shielding yourself from past hurts out of fear of being vulnerable? ●      Have you ever given people an easy out even when you truly wanted them to show up? ●      What do you risk by telling someone you genuinely want them there—and what might you gain? ●      Are you willing to be vulnerable and let the world fully receive your love? ●      Where can you stay open to your big, beautiful, vulnerable love while creating healthy boundaries? ●      Are you mindfully protecting your energy from those who can't meet you with love right now? ●      Can you recognize the love that deserves all of you and resist falling back into old protection patterns? ●      Are you willing to keep evolving and let your heart stay safely open as you grow? Thanks for sharing this space with me today. As you move through the week, I hope you feel safe to open your heart and stay connected to the love that surrounds you. Until next time, keep honoring your stride and choosing what feels true.   In this episode: [04:30] After my parents divorced, I had a challenging relationship with my father. My mother did the best she could to raise us four girls. [05:08] I saw unconditional love from my mother, but I felt like my father's love had conditions. I felt like I couldn't depend on him, so I developed a pattern where I wouldn't ask for much from him. [06:16] I was shielding myself from vulnerability, because I didn't want to feel the pain from being disappointed. [07:04] This pattern came through in my adult relationships. [08:35] I wasn't being fully vulnerable when I gave people an out. [11:14] Last week I got hurt by someone I care about. They unexpectedly disappointed me. [12:06] When I'm hurt, I physically protect my heart. I want my heart center open so I can give and receive love. [13:23] I was choosing heart openers in yoga this morning. Our hearts deserve to feel open and safe. [14:04] I am consciously working on healing and growing and making sure my past doesn't affect my present or future. [15:23] Even though I got hurt, loving and putting myself out there to that risk is worth it. [16:33] You can still feel safe to open your heart and have healthy boundaries. [17:55] I will still hold space for them and compassionate space for myself. [20:35] I read page 329 of Journey to the Heart. [21:41] Engage in practices that help you keep your heart open.   Memorable Quotes: “I want my heart center fully open because I want to give and receive love in the fullest expansion form.” - Mary Tess “I am consciously working on healing and growing and making sure that my past doesn't necessarily direct my present or my future.” - Mary Tess “Go after and bring more of that love, give more of it, and receive more of it” - Mary Tess   Links and Resources: Mary Tess Rooney Email Facebook | LinkedIn | Twitter | Instagram Heart Value Journey to the Heart: Daily Meditations on the Path to Freeing Your Soul    

I'm reminded of the profound words from Melody Beattie, who wrote: "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity." These words capture the transformative power we're about to experience together. Gratitude is not merely a pleasant emotion but the very frequency that determines what manifests in your life? What if the difference between struggle and abundance is not circumstance but perception? Science now confirms what mystics have known for centuries – that gratitude physically rewires neural pathways, transforms brain chemistry, and fundamentally alters your energetic signature. The universe responds not to what you want, but to the vibration you consistently hold. And nothing elevates your energetic signature more powerfully than the state of genuine thankfulness. This activation is the essential foundation for those who seek to consciously create their reality. It is the primary key that unlocks dimensions where your desires naturally align with your experience. 

Send us a textThe term codependency began being discussed in the late 1980s, with the first Codependency Conference being held in Scottsdale, AZ, in 1986. The terms have been used, banished, and used again. Dr. Tim Cermak tried to get the terms included in the 4th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, but so far, the term has not been included. One of the first books, Codependent No More, was written by Melody Beattie. Regardless of what the over-giver behavior is called, there are symptoms that are discussed in this episode.Support the showWe're eager to hear from you! Feel free to share your thoughts through our anonymous form or simply write to info@freshouttaplans.com with your topic requests or any burning questions you'd like us to explore on the podcast. https://linktr.ee/freshouttaplans

In this episode, we explore the transformative practice of self-appreciation and the journey toward authentic living. Drawing inspiration from Melody Beattie's "The Language of Letting Go," we discuss: Why appreciating ourselves is fundamental to our wellbeing How to recognize and break free from patterns of codependency and self-doubt The balance between healing in solitude and healing in community Setting healthy boundaries while maintaining connections Practical mindfulness techniques to return to your authentic nature Details about the Beautiful Souls Community spring sessions (April-July 2025) Upcoming themes: Boundaries & Self-Care (April), Self-Compassion & Self-Regulation (June), and Authentic Communication (July) This episode asks the powerful question: "What would change in your life if you truly believed and embodied your worthiness in every space and appreciated who you are?" The answer might just be... everything. asoulcalledjoel.com

Today, John and Vanessa speak with the best selling author of Codependent No More, Melody Beattie. They define codependency, its roots in childhood experiences, practical steps for recovery, emphasizing the significance of understanding one's feelings and setting boundaries, and more. Melody Beattie is the best selling author of Codependent No More. Since its first publication 36 years ago, it has helped heal over seven million readers and continues to sell 100,000+ copies a year. Updated for the first time, with a new chapter on trauma and anxiety, and Melody's personal story revealed for the first time, this modern classic holds the key to understanding codependency and unlocking its hold on your life. You can find her book HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE Jump into John's new Single. On Purpose app HERE Follow John on Instagram HERE Find out more about John HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Description: In the spirit of Spring Break, which it is for us here in Texas, we're taking a quick break from our regular podcast lineup to do something fun. Recent listeners of the podcast will know that we've added a voicemail feature to the podcast and, for a few weeks, we've been asking you to leave us messages with your thoughts on recent episodes and questions for us. And boy you have! The messages we've received run the gamut from candid and vulnerable to gutsy and inspirational and some were just hilarious (though not all of them were appropriate for the airwaves but we still love them so KEEP THEM COMING). Today, we're responding to a few of our favorite messages from women in our listening community who shared messages that we think will resonate with you on multiple levels. Our thanks to Naomi, Mollie, Jamie, Laura, and one special anonymous caller for sharing their thoughts for all of us to enjoy. Thought-provoking Quotes: "We need to wear what we feel comfortable in, what we feel pretty in. There are no rules!" – Listener Voicemail “I broke up with my effort last week. I literally sat myself down and said, ‘I am not responsible for making this person happy.'” – Jen Hatmaker "Loud quitting is about being clear, setting boundaries, and walking away from what no longer serves you—without apology." – Amy Hardin "Once we stop our frantic interventions to manage someone else's life, it turns out, that's when they start to do their own work—even our kids." – Jen Hatmaker “There is no such thing as ‘too late.' We are only getting more time and space to dream new dreams.” – Amy Hardin Resources Mentioned in This Episode: The Devil Wears Prada film (2006) - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0458352/ Warning poem by Jenny Joseph - https://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poem/warning/ Freedom From Codependency with Melody Beattie - https://jenhatmaker.com/podcasts/series-56/freedom-from-codependency-with-melody-beattie/ Finding Freedom with Mel Robbins and Two Little Words: Let Them - https://jenhatmaker.com/podcasts/series-64/finding-freedom-with-mel-robbins-and-two-little-words-let-them/ Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown - https://amzn.to/4hkHNb7 Awaken to Your Next Chapter: Artist and Activist Lisa Congdon on Imagining a More Beautiful Life - https://jenhatmaker.com/podcasts/series-64/awaken-to-your-next-chapter-artist-and-activist-lisa-congdon-on-imagining-a-more-beautiful-life/ Sacred Reimagination: When Faith Evolves with You: Erin Hicks Moon - https://jenhatmaker.com/podcasts/series-64/sacred-reimagination-when-faith-evolves-with-you-erin-hicks-moon/ Jane Fonda - https://www.janefonda.com/ Saturday Night Live 50th Anniversary Special - https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/snl-50-anniversary-special-how-watch-time-cast-rcna191588 Stuart Smalley - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stuart_Smalley Jen is going to be a grandma! - https://www.instagram.com/reel/DHBp8olOTOi/ Connect with Jen! Jen's Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/ Jen's Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmaker Jen's Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/ Jen's Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmaker Jen's YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is The Briefing, a daily analysis of news and events from a Christian worldview.Part I (00:13 - 11:10)The Democratic Party Identity Crisis Turns Into a Political Crisis: As Senator Schumer Backed Away from Shutdown, Young Democrats are ReelingYoung Democrats' Anger Boils Over as Schumer Retreats on Shutdown by The New York Times (Shane Goldmacher)Part II (11:10 - 21:08)Failed States and Terrorist Threats: The Need for a Sustained Military Effort Against the Houthi Rebels in YemenHouthi Inc: the pirates who weaponised globalisation by The EconomistPart III (21:08 - 26:27)A Titan of the Self-Help Movement Dies at 76: The Death and Legacy of Melody Beattie, Author of ‘Codependent No More'Melody Beattie, Author of a Self-Help Best Seller, Dies at 76 by The New York Times (Richard Sandomir)Sign up to receive The Briefing in your inbox every weekday morning.Follow Dr. Mohler:X | Instagram | Facebook | YouTubeFor more information on The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, go to sbts.edu.For more information on Boyce College, just go to BoyceCollege.com.To write Dr. Mohler or submit a question for The Mailbox, go here.

1. The Mother of Codependence shares the difference between healthy and unhealthy helping.  2. The daily practice that helps Melody stop controlling others and “Let Life Happen.” 3. Why no one is able to gaslight you more than you.  4. The one area of life where Codependence is necessary. 5. All four of us surrender to the truth that we will never be Codependent No More. About Melody: A pioneering voice in self-help literature, Melody Beattie is the author of many bestselling books, including Codependent No More – a #1 New York Times bestseller, which has sold over 7 million copies – as well as The Language of Letting Go, Playing It by Heart, The Grief Club, and Beyond Codependency. An updated edition of the bestselling, modern classic, Codependent No More, is available now. Melody lives in Southern California. TW: @MelodyBeattie IG: @authormelodybeattie To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi, creative cutie, as you know, I've been very open and honest about my journey with codependency on the show: my struggles with it, my healing from it, my trying to understand it...In 2022, I was lucky enough to have Melody Beattie author of Codependent No More on the podcast. A couple days ago, Melody's daughter Nichole Beattie posted on her socials sharing that her mother had passed away on February 27th at 10pm. So today, in memory of Melody, and her world-altering and life-changing work, I am resharing our episode. Thank you, Melody, your work changed my life, It helped so many people heal....And it's going to continue to do that for years to come. May you rest in peace and may your work live on forever--teaching all of us to release our shame and to love ourselves at least as much as we love others. Original Description:Today's guest is Melody Beattie. She's a New York Times Best Selling Author known for titles such as The Language of Letting Go, Playing It by Heart, The Grief Club, Beyond Codependency, and her most famous book, Codependent No More-which just came out with a revised and updated edition that you should check out! Codependent No More, has sold over 7 million copies since its release in 1986. Melody is a true pioneer in this field and has helped millions find healing. Her work has changed my life, and it might just change yours, too!From our chat you'll learn:-The true meaning of codependency and whether you might be codependent-How to heal codependency through creativity-What it REALLY even means to love yourself -How to not turn on yourself when you're disappointed-How to trust the creative process--even if it takes YEARS!-Why Codependent No More IS Actually a romance novel-Plus never-before-heard insight into Melody's creative process and how she birthed the original Codependent No More!-And More! Check out Melody's work and get her new edition of Codependent No More here: https://melodybeattie.com/ -Remember to subscribe/follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. Please leave us a rating and review- it helps SO much in getting the show out there. And tell a friend about the show- podcasts are very personal and tend to be spread person to person. If this show helped you or made you smile, share the love :)  Follow the show: @unleashyourinnercreative  Follow me: @LaurenLoGrassoHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Do you often feel exhausted, resentful, or underappreciated in your relationships? In this episode, Gabe Howard and licensed psychotherapist Terri Cole explore the complexities of codependency, including its less-talked-about form: “high functioning codependency.” Terri shares practical tools like the “resentment inventory” to identify unhealthy relational patterns and explains how overgiving can be an unconscious attempt to control chaos. You'll also learn how societal pressures, especially on women, play a role in this dynamic and how setting boundaries can lead to healthier, more fulfilling connections. Whether you're managing relationships with friends, family, or colleagues, this episode will help you understand the line between healthy care and codependent behaviors. If you're tired of saying yes when you want to say no or struggling to let others help you, this is a must-listen conversation. “I coined the phrase high functioning codependency because my clients were these highly capable women, in particular, who did not identify with sort of the old school, Melody Beattie, “Codependent No More,” it's enabling an addict. That's all it is, basically. They're like dependent? I'm not dependent on squat. Everyone's dependent on me. I'm making all the money. I'm making all the decisions. I'm kind of the boss around here, so I can't be codependent, which is not true.” ~Terri Cole To learn more -- or read the transcript -- visit the official episode page. Our guest, Terri Cole, is a licensed psychotherapist and global relationship and empowerment expert and the author of “Boundary Boss” and “Too Much.” For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs. She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com. Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. Gabe is also the host of the "Inside Bipolar" podcast with Dr. Nicole Washington. Gabe makes his home in the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio. He lives with his supportive wife, Kendall, and a Miniature Schnauzer dog that he never wanted, but now can't imagine life without. To book Gabe for your next event or learn more about him, please visit gabehoward.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Send one way text to Rev Rachel In this episode Rev. Rachel Harrison reflects on the delicate balance between needing others and maintaining independence. Inspired by today's reading from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, Rev Rachel explores how codependency and control show up in sneaky ways in our lives. When life feels out of control, we often lean into patterns of over-controlling or shutting people out, but true healing comes when we can let go of these defense mechanisms and open ourselves to authentic, healthy relationships.Join Rachel as she shares insights from her own journey, the transformative power of Soul Recovery, and how releasing the need to control allows us to take our power back and step into a life of connection, love, and inner peace. Whether you're struggling with being overly dependent on others or keeping people at a distance, this episode will help you find balance and deepen your relationships while staying true to yourself.Let go, step into your Soul Recovery, and rediscover your wholeness.FREE Soul Recovery Support Group on Zoom- 1st Monday of the Month from 6-7PM Mountain Time, free and open to everyone! Work the Steps on Your Own- Steps One and Two are up and ready to go, with Three and Four on the way! Start your Soul Recovery today. Visit the website to learn more about Soul Recovery. This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not allied or representative of any organizations or religions, but is based on the opinions and experience of Rev. Rachel Harrison. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Take what you need and leave the rest.Support the show Rev. Rachel Harrison and Recover Your Soul www.recoveryoursoul.net

Kimberlyn and Leilani share their reactions to seeing Wicked and their thoughts about what is really going on behind the curtain.Their check-ins:  Kimberlyn loves the expansive feel at the beginning of her winter break, though the ‘slow time' between semesters goes too quickly; Leilani has rediscovered her love of audiobooks, particularly the way in which they make reading more accessible for so many people.Mentioned in the episode:  Melody Beattie's Codependent No More; Gregory Maguire's Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West;  the musicals Chicago and The Color Purple; Amanda Gorman's Do Us Good.Get exclusive content and support us on Patreon:http://www.patreon.com/WitchyWit  Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/WitchyWitPodcast  Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/Witchy_Wit  Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/3azUkFVlECTlTZQVX5jl1X?si=8WufnXueQrugGDIYWbgc3A  Apple Podcast:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/witchy-wit/id1533482466  Pandora:https://pandora.app.link/nNsuNrSKneb  Google Podcast:Witchy Wit (google.com)

Chapter 1:Summary of The Language of Letting Go"The Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie is a self-help book focused on the principles of codependency and recovery. The book offers daily meditations and affirmations designed to help individuals acknowledge their struggles with control, loss, and emotional dependencies in their relationships.Beattie emphasizes the importance of self-care, personal boundaries, and the need to let go of toxic patterns that inhibit personal growth. Each day presents a short reading that encourages reflection on self-acceptance, healing from past traumas, and fostering healthier relationships. Key themes include the power of surrender, the importance of inviting change, and finding peace through acceptance.Overall, Beattie's work encourages readers to develop a deeper understanding of themselves, embrace their feelings, practice mindfulness, and cultivate a life that prioritizes emotional well-being.Chapter 2:The Theme of The Language of Letting Go"The Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie is a collection of daily meditations that focuses on the themes of recovery, self-care, and emotional health. Although it does not have a traditional narrative structure with plot points and characters, certain thematic ideas and concepts can be outlined. Here are some key elements: Key Themes and Ideas:1. Acceptance and Letting Go: A central theme throughout the book is the importance of accepting situations and emotions as they are, and learning to let go of the need to control everything. This is particularly relevant for individuals dealing with addiction or codependency.2. Self-Compassion and Self-Care: Beattie emphasizes the need for individuals to care for themselves, recognizing their own worth and embracing self-love. This involves setting boundaries and acknowledging personal needs.3. Healing and Recovery: The meditations often delve into the process of healing from emotional pain, trauma, or relationships that are toxic. Beattie provides reflections on moving forward and the journey of personal growth.4. Emotional Awareness: The book encourages readers to become aware of their emotions, which is a vital aspect of personal development. This awareness helps to understand and manage feelings rather than letting them control one's life.5. The Power of Connection: Recovery and healing are often framed in the context of relationships with others, including healthy connections and the importance of support systems. Character Development:While "The Language of Letting Go" does not feature traditional characters, the "character" in this context can be seen as the reader themselves. The development occurs as individuals engage with the meditations and reflect on their own experiences. Readers may develop through the following:1. From Struggle to Empowerment: Readers may recognize their struggles with codependency or addiction and move towards a place of empowerment and control over their lives.2. Increased Self-Awareness: Through the reflective nature of the meditations, readers gain insights into their behaviors, thoughts, and emotions, leading to personal growth.3. Building Resilience: As readers practice letting go and working through their emotions, they may develop stronger coping mechanisms and resilience in the face of challenges. Key Plot Points:Since the book is composed of meditations rather than a continuous plot, key points can be summarized as thematic reflections for each day. Each meditation serves as a standalone exploration of specific aspects of life, such as forgiveness, the importance of living in the moment, and the value of self-acceptance. Conclusion:"The Language of Letting Go" serves as a guide for personal transformation, encouraging readers to embrace healing, self-awareness,...

Today is going to be a short podcast, but it's going to be a very useful one.  I'm going to talk about morning routines.  I'm going to be using, I haven't used it in a while, the fabulous Melody Beattie. The Language of Letting Go And this reading that I'm going to be coaching off of is called Morning Cues. Melody says, “There is an important message for us first thing every day. Often, once we get started with the day, we may not listen as closely to ourselves and life as we do in those still moments when we first awaken. An ideal time to listen to ourselves is when we are laying quietly, our defenses are down, and we're open and most vulnerable.” Now, I'm going to stop there because I'm going to tell you what I do for my morning routine and then I'm going to continue to read Melody's reading.  Every morning, when I get up, I make myself a cup of tea. That's a non negotiable.  And then,while my husband makes me a egg white omelette, as he does pretty much every single morning, He's a master at the egg white omelette. I just have to say. The guy should open up a cafe.  What I do is I go outside and I look at the mountains because I live near mountains. And I sit and I go through two prayers.  And after I finish those two prayers, I then open up my little notebook and I read out loud the things that I want most.  And in reading those things, I am affirming them. And sometimes I'll be using visualization. Sometimes I'm just saying them. Sometimes I'm just thinking them. But what it does is it really tunes me into what I want the focus of my life and my day to be.  And when I finish, I always say these words, “Peter Pamela Rose, suiting up, showing up, reporting for duty.”  And that duty is not only to the Universe, God, whatever you want to call it, my God, it's also to me. And it's also to my life and what is important to me, in this one brief shot I have on this earth.  So I hope that inspires you, but I'm going to go on and continue to read what the fabulous Melody Beattie says. She says, “What is the first feeling that floods through us? The feeling that perhaps we are trying to avoid during the business of the day? Are we angry, frustrated, hurt, or confused? That is what we need to focus on and work through. That is the issue.” We need to address and I agree that is very helpful and then go on to affirm that you will be able to do that or that you are doing it in that morning routine for me what I am filled with in the morning and this is I'm coming up on my 30th anniversary of doing this work is that I am at peace with who I am now. And I just want to become a bigger, better, badassier version of Peter Pamela Rose than I already am.  She also asks, “What is the first idea or thought that enters your mind? Do you need to finish a timely project? Are you in need of a fun day, a restful day?”  I also think that is a great question to ask yourself, because that tells you what you most don't want to do, which becomes the number one thing you need to do to build self esteem, to build trust in yourself. She asks, “do you feel sick and need to nurture yourself? Are you in a negative frame of mind? Do you have an issue that you need to resolve with someone?” Again, pay attention to those first thoughts so you know where the healing needs to go.  Do you need to tell someone something? Is something bothering you? Is something feeling particularly good? Does an idea occur to you?  That happens to me all the time while I'm affirming in the morning.  In the morning does an idea occur to you? Something you could get or something that would make you feel good? What are those things?  Embrace the good. Embrace the challenge. Embrace the learning that you are listening to first thing in the morning.  When you awaken, what is the first issue that presents itself?  You don't have to be fearful. Be brave.  You don't have to rush. Go as slowly as you need to in order to take care of yourself. Lay. Listen. Be still. Accept the message. And then, affirm the good.  Find that relationship between you and the universe.  And state to yourself that today, I will suit up, show up, and report for duty. Mostly to myself.  

In today's episode, Gina shares a guided meditation with listeners to help cultivate peace and calm during the holiday season. Listen to Gina's soothing voice as she expresses her own gratitude for you the listener and gently guides listeners through reflecting on their own gratitude during this holiday of giving thanks. Tune in and discover more peace and calm today. Please visit our Sponsor Page to find all the links and codes for our awesome sponsors! https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com/sponsors/ Thank you for supporting The Anxiety Coaches Podcast. FREE MUST-HAVE RESOURCE FOR Calming Your Anxious Mind 10-Minute Body-Scan Meditation for Anxiety Anxiety Coaches Podcast Group Coaching link ACPGroupCoaching.com To learn more, go to: Website https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com Join our Group Coaching Full or Mini Membership Program Learn more about our One-on-One Coaching What is anxiety? Find even more peace and calm with our Supercast premium access membership: For $5 a month, all episodes are ad-free! https://anxietycoaches.supercast.com/ Here's what's included for $5/month: ❤ New Ad-Free episodes every Sunday and Wednesday ❤ Access to the entire Ad-free back-catalog with over 600 episodes ❤ Premium meditations recorded with you in mind ❤ And more fun surprises along the way! All this in your favorite podcast app! Quote: Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. -Melody Beattie Chapters 0:42 Thanksgiving Calm 4:23 Guided Meditation Introduction 5:59 Breathing into Calm 8:25 Inward Reflection 10:06 Light of Gratitude 11:39 Extending Gratitude 13:00 Affirmations of Gratitude 15:24 Carrying Gratitude Forward Summary In this episode of the Anxiety Coaches Podcast, I delve into the theme of gratitude through a guided meditation designed to cultivate a sense of calm during the Thanksgiving season. As we gather in this reflective space, I express my heartfelt appreciation to you, the listener. Your engagement with this podcast—whether through listening, sharing, or contributing with questions—creates a meaningful community dedicated to fostering peace in our lives. Thanksgiving is the perfect backdrop for this exploration of gratitude. I share a poignant quote from Melody Beattie that encapsulates the essence of this practice: “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more.” This quote serves as a reminder that gratitude is about shifting our perspective rather than changing our circumstances. By embracing a mindset of thankfulness, we can experience a profound sense of abundance in both our lives and the world around us, turning the ordinary moments into extraordinary ones. The episode transitions into a soothing guided meditation focused on gratitude. I encourage listeners to find a comfortable position and prepare to journey inward. This meditation promotes the recognition and appreciation of life's gifts, particularly for those facing challenges such as anxiety and depression. As we breathe together, I guide you to release stress and tension, anchoring your awareness in the present moment. You are invited to reflect on your body and the simple yet profound aspects of existence—your breath, your heartbeat, and your resilience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In today's episode, Gina shares a guided meditation with listeners to help cultivate peace and calm during the holiday season. Listen to Gina's soothing voice as she expresses her own gratitude for you the listener and gently guides listeners through reflecting on their own gratitude during this holiday of giving thanks. Tune in and discover more peace and calm today. Please visit our Sponsor Page to find all the links and codes for our awesome sponsors! https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com/sponsors/ Thank you for supporting The Anxiety Coaches Podcast. FREE MUST-HAVE RESOURCE FOR Calming Your Anxious Mind 10-Minute Body-Scan Meditation for Anxiety Anxiety Coaches Podcast Group Coaching link ACPGroupCoaching.com To learn more, go to: Website https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com Join our Group Coaching Full or Mini Membership Program Learn more about our One-on-One Coaching What is anxiety? Find even more peace and calm with our Supercast premium access membership: For $5 a month, all episodes are ad-free! https://anxietycoaches.supercast.com/ Here's what's included for $5/month: ❤ New Ad-Free episodes every Sunday and Wednesday ❤ Access to the entire Ad-free back-catalog with over 600 episodes ❤ Premium meditations recorded with you in mind ❤ And more fun surprises along the way! All this in your favorite podcast app! Quote: Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. -Melody Beattie Chapters 0:42 Thanksgiving Calm 4:23 Guided Meditation Introduction 5:59 Breathing into Calm 8:25 Inward Reflection 10:06 Light of Gratitude 11:39 Extending Gratitude 13:00 Affirmations of Gratitude 15:24 Carrying Gratitude Forward Summary In this episode of the Anxiety Coaches Podcast, I delve into the theme of gratitude through a guided meditation designed to cultivate a sense of calm during the Thanksgiving season. As we gather in this reflective space, I express my heartfelt appreciation to you, the listener. Your engagement with this podcast—whether through listening, sharing, or contributing with questions—creates a meaningful community dedicated to fostering peace in our lives. Thanksgiving is the perfect backdrop for this exploration of gratitude. I share a poignant quote from Melody Beattie that encapsulates the essence of this practice: “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more.” This quote serves as a reminder that gratitude is about shifting our perspective rather than changing our circumstances. By embracing a mindset of thankfulness, we can experience a profound sense of abundance in both our lives and the world around us, turning the ordinary moments into extraordinary ones. The episode transitions into a soothing guided meditation focused on gratitude. I encourage listeners to find a comfortable position and prepare to journey inward. This meditation promotes the recognition and appreciation of life's gifts, particularly for those facing challenges such as anxiety and depression. As we breathe together, I guide you to release stress and tension, anchoring your awareness in the present moment. You are invited to reflect on your body and the simple yet profound aspects of existence—your breath, your heartbeat, and your resilience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi loves! Since it's the Holiday season, I thought, what better episode to reshare with you than this one with Melody Beattie (Author of Codependent No More) on how to release and heal from codependency. Check out the original description below and Happy Thanksgiving!Original Description: Today's guest is Melody Beattie. She's a New York Times Best Selling Author known for titles such as The Language of Letting Go, Playing It by Heart, The Grief Club, Beyond Codependency, and her most famous book, Codependent No More-which just came out with a revised and updated edition that you should check out! Codependent No More, has sold over 7 million copies since its release in 1986. Melody is a true pioneer in this field and has helped millions find healing. Her work has changed my life, and it might just change yours, too!From our chat you'll learn:-The true meaning of codependency and whether you might be codependent-How to heal codependency through creativity-What it REALLY even means to love yourself -How to not turn on yourself when you're disappointed-How to trust the creative process--even if it takes YEARS!-Why Codependent No More IS Actually a romance novel-Plus never-before-heard insight into Melody's creative process and how she birthed the original Codependent No More!-And More! Check out Melody's work and get her new edition of Codependent No More here: https://melodybeattie.com/ -Remember to subscribe/follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. Please leave us a rating and review- it helps SO much in getting the show out there. And tell a friend about the show- podcasts are very personal and tend to be spread person to person. If this show helped you or made you smile, share the love :) Follow the show: @unleashyourinnercreative  Follow me: @LaurenLoGrassoHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Send one way text to Rev Rachel Awareness is the first step to change. In this episode, we dive deep into the power of awareness as a cornerstone of the Soul Recovery process. Inspired by the November 25th reading from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, we reflect on how awareness allows us to step back from fear and control, preparing us for growth and transformation.As we approach the holiday season—a time often filled with old patterns, family dynamics, and the desire for perfection—this episode offers tools to help you stay grounded, mindful, and aligned with your higher self. Together, we'll explore the cycle of awareness, acceptance, and change, discovering how to reclaim your power and let go of the need to fix or control those around you.Join me as we reflect on how Soul Recovery provides the spiritual strength and clarity to navigate life's complexities with grace and authenticity. Whether you're spending the holidays with family, friends, or simply holding space for yourself, this episode is a loving reminder to honor your own journey.Join us on December 2nd for the next FREE Soul Recovery Support Group from 6-7PM Mountain Time on Zoom. Ready to work the Steps on on your own? Use code WORKNEW1 for $20 off the new Step One Module "Ready for Awakening" until the end of November. Visit the Website www.RecoverYourSoul.net This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not allied or representative of any organizations or religions, but is based on the opinions and experience of Rev. Rachel Harrison. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Take what you need and leave the rest.Support the showFor more information about Rev. Rachel Harrison and Recover Your Soul- visit www.recoveryoursoul.net use the code TRYASESSION for 40% off your first Spiritual Coaching session. Join us the 1st Monday of every month for the FREE Support Group on Zoom 6-7PM Mountain Time.Make a one time or monthly donation to support the Recover Your Soul Podcast. Follow on Instagram, Insight Timer, TikTok, YouTube and Facebook and join the private Facebook group to be part of the RYS community. Listen to a BONUS episode each Friday by becoming a Patreon Member or subscribing on Apple Podcasts. Episode Transcripts

A person seeks advice from the Agony Aunties about dealing with a husband who regularly expresses frustration, anger, and suicidal threats, which affects the whole family. They emphasise understanding one's own limits and seeking support, discussing concepts like codependency and the importance of self-care. They suggest looking into resources like support groups, while maintaining open communication with the children and considering the impact on their well-being. They recommend resources such as CoDA.org and the book 'Codependent No More' by Melody Beattie, while also addressing the complexities of maintaining relationships amidst conflict. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Melody Beattie shares the difference between healthy and unhealthy helping:   - The daily practice that helps Melody stop controlling others and “Let Life Happen.” - Why no one is able to gaslight you more than you.  - The one area of life where Codependence is necessary. - All four of us surrender to the truth that we will never be Codependent No More. About Melody A pioneering voice in self-help literature, Melody Beattie is the author of many bestselling books, including Codependent No More – a #1 New York Times bestseller, which has sold over 7 million copies – as well as The Language of Letting Go, Playing It by Heart, The Grief Club, and Beyond Codependency. An updated edition of the bestselling, modern classic, Codependent No More, is available now. Melody lives in Southern California. TW: @MelodyBeattie IG: @authormelodybeattie To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are you feeling burned out by the dating process or struggling to show up in your relationships? In this episode, I talk with Rebecca Marcus, LCSW about going at your own pace and: • Caring for yourself when starting new relationships just as you would in every other part of your life  • Not comparing yourself to others when dating and choosing the right pace for you • Slowing down to process and reflect throughout the dating process to understand how you feel about the other person  • The importance of honoring and speaking your needs with the other people in your life, even if they're also highly sensitive  Rebecca is a social worker in NYC who helps Millennial women chill out, get confident, and trust themselves and their dating process, so they can find and keep the love they want. Growing up on Disney movies, rom coms, and fairy tales about Prince Charming that showed unrealistic expectations of relationships, dating, and love only led to chaos and confusion when she started dating. So for a decade, she's helped millennial women navigate the confusing NYC dating scene, break toxic patterns, and create relationships and a life filled with meaning and joy. Keep in touch with Rebecca: • Website: https://rmpsychotherapy.com  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rm.psychotherapy  Resources Mentioned: • Free Meditation: https://rmpsychotherapy.com/subscribe  • Dating Groups: https://rmpsychotherapy.com/group  • Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie: https://bookshop.org/a/63892/9781954118157   • Highly Sensitive Person by Dr. Elaine Aron: https://bookshop.org/a/63892/9780553062182  • The Empath's Survival Guide by Dr. Judith Orloff: https://bookshop.org/a/63892/9781683642114  Thanks for listening! You can read the full show notes and sign up for my email list to get new episode announcements and other resources at: https://www.sensitivestories.comYou can also follow "SensitiveStrengths" for behind-the-scenes content plus more educational and inspirational HSP resources: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sensitivestrengths TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sensitivestrengths Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@sensitivestrengths If you have a moment, please rate and review the podcast, it helps Sensitive Stories reach more HSPs! This episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment with a mental health or medical professional. Some links are affiliate links. You are under no obligation to purchase any book, product or service. I am not responsible for the quality or satisfaction of any purchase.

Chapter 1:Summary of Codependent No More"Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself" by Melody Beattie is a self-help book that addresses the concept of codependency, particularly how it affects individuals in relationships. Key Themes and Concepts:1. Definition of Codependency: Beattie defines codependency as a pattern of behavior where individuals prioritize the needs and feelings of others over their own, often at the expense of their own well-being.2. Characteristics of Codependent Individuals: The book outlines typical traits of codependent people, including low self-esteem, a tendency to take responsibility for others' feelings, difficulty in setting boundaries, and an overwhelming desire to please others.3. Impact of Codependency: Beattie explores how codependency can be rooted in family dynamics, particularly in homes with addiction or dysfunction, and how it can perpetuate unhealthy relationships and cycles.4. Breaking the Cycle: The author emphasizes that codependent individuals can reclaim their lives by recognizing their patterns, setting boundaries, and learning to take care of themselves. This requires self-reflection, developing self-esteem, and practicing self-care.5. Practical Tools and Strategies: The book offers practical advice, exercises, and affirmations for readers to identify their codependent behaviors and work towards healthier relationships. Techniques include journaling, engaging in therapy, and creating a support system.6. Empowerment and Growth: Beattie promotes the idea that healing from codependency is possible. Readers are encouraged to pursue personal growth, cultivate independence, and recognize that it's okay to prioritize their own needs and feelings.Overall, "Codependent No More" serves as a guide for individuals seeking to understand codependency, foster healthier relationships, and nurture their own emotional well-being.Chapter 2:The Theme of Codependent No More"Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself" by Melody Beattie is a seminal work in the field of self-help and recovery for individuals dealing with codependency, particularly in relationships affected by addiction or dysfunction. Here are the key plot points, character development, and thematic ideas in the book: Key Plot Points1. Understanding Codependency: Beattie introduces the concept of codependency, describing it as a dysfunctional relationship pattern characterized by excessive reliance on others for self-worth and emotional regulation.2. Identifying Symptoms: The author outlines various symptoms and behaviors common in codependent individuals, such as people-pleasing, enabling, and emotional numbness.3. Personal Stories and Anecdotes: Throughout the book, Beattie shares personal stories and anecdotes from her own life and from others in recovery, illustrating the impact of codependency on relationships and personal well-being.4. The Cycle of Codependency: She discusses the cyclical nature of codependency, detailing how it perpetuates unhealthy relationships and keeps individuals trapped in a pattern of care-taking that undermines their self-esteem.5. Steps Toward Recovery: Beattie provides practical strategies and steps for readers to break free from codependent patterns, encouraging self-care, boundary-setting, and self-reflection.6. The Importance of Support: The author emphasizes the value of support groups, such as Al-Anon and Codependents Anonymous, as essential resources for recovery and healing. Character Development- Melody Beattie as a Guide: As the author, Beattie acts as both a mentor and a confidante, drawing on her own experiences with codependency and addiction. Her journey from codependency to self-acceptance serves as a source of...

What an episode we have for you today, listeners. Today on the show we have the phenomenal Terri Cole, whose work about boundaries I have so resonated with in the past. She has a new book out on October 15 called Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency, and it examines what we thought we knew about codependency. We have had the godmother of codependency, Melody Beattie, on the show, and Melody introduced the concept to the world. Now, in Too Much, Terri is taking the concept to the next level, introducing us to high-functioning codependency. In today's conversation we define what high-functioning codependency, or HFC, is, what it looks like, some common behaviors exhibited by those who have it, and how those with HFC got to this place. You also might have heard this called “overfunctioning.” You'll hear me say this many times throughout this episode, but I identify as a recovering HFC, and Terri writes that these behaviors are “highly programmed and largely unconscious.” Terri, too, is a recovering HFC, and writes in Too Much that “prioritizing the wants, needs, and outcomes of others over my own well-being was my default setting.” She talks about the moment she knew she couldn't go on this way, and the book is a deeply personal one to her. We also talk about how we draw the line from being caring and a high-functioning codependent — and when we know, as the book's title suggests, that it's too much. By the way, when it comes to romantic relationships, codependents are attracted to narcissists, and the reverse is true, as well. The book talks about how we can prevent this deeply unhealthy combination. In our conversation today, we talk about the cost to a life if one doesn't address their high-functioning codependency, and how the key to getting to the other side is boundaries. Now, Terri is an expert in boundaries; her book prior to Too Much, which I also highly recommend, is called Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free. I do think it's important to note that reversing high-functioning codependency is absolutely possible, but it isn't a linear path or a straight line, and that those working through this should expect setbacks. You know what? People could probably live their whole lives with high-functioning codependency, but because of Terri's book, they won't want to, and they don't have to. Terri Cole, MSW, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist and global relationship and empowerment expert and has been doing this work for over 25 years. She is the host of a podcast I love, “The Terri Cole Show,” and inspires over 600,000 people weekly. She has a deep gift for making complex psychological concepts actionable and accessible so that clients achieve sustainable change. This conversation with Terri meant a lot to me, and I bet it will to you, too. Take a listen.   Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency by Terri Cole   Check out Terri's HFC Toolkit at terricole.com/hfc and visit hfcbook.com/ for more information!

Ever wonder why some people who seem highly capable and successful still struggle with people-pleasing and relationship dynamics? This episode features a powerful conversation with psychotherapist Terri Cole where we unravel the hidden patterns of high-functioning codependency — a form of codependency that often goes unrecognized, especially in high-achievers. Drawing from her new book, Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency, Terri explains how behaviors like over-giving, fixing, and being overly invested in others' outcomes are often mistaken for love and care but can actually lead to burnout and resentment. We explore how to identify these patterns, shift out of autopilot advice giving, and build authentic connections through healthier boundaries. Packed with relatable insights and real life examples, this episode is a must listen for anyone seeking to reclaim their energy, set empowered boundaries, and transform their relationships. Dive in and discover how small shifts in behavior can lead to a more liberated and fulfilling life. Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss and Too Much! For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs. She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. —Terri's Book: https://hfcbook.com/  —Terri's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terricole/  —Terri's Website: https://www.terricole.com/  —Terri & Mark's Crushing Codependency Course: https://crushcodependency.com/mark  Previous Podcast Episodes: —Redesigning Your Love Blueprint with Terri Cole: https://markgroves.com/episode/redesigning-your-love-blueprint-with-terri-cole/  —Codependency, The Disease To Please with Terri Cole: https://markgroves.com/episode/codependency-the-disease-to-please-with-terri-cole/  —Crushing Codependency Myths with Terri Cole: https://markgroves.com/episode/terri-cole-crushing-codependency-myths/ —How To Become A Boundary Boss with Terri Cole: https://markgroves.com/episode/how-to-become-a-boundary-boss-terri-cole/  Resources From Episode: —Melody Beattie's Podcast Episode: Breaking Free from Codependency with Melody Beattie: https://markgroves.com/episode/breaking-free-from-codependency-with-melody-beattie/  —Terri & Mark's Crushing Codependency Course: https://crushcodependency.com/mark  If you want to dive deeper into Mark's content, search through every episode, find specific topics we've covered, and ask him questions, go to his Dexa page: https://dexa.ai/markgroves Themes: High-functioning Codependency, Terri Cole, Breaking Codependency, Self-Care and Boundaries, Emotional Burnout Recovery, Codependency in Relationships, Codependency vs Independence, People-Pleasing Habits, Setting Healthy Boundaries, Terri Cole Too Much Book, Relationship Dynamics, Emotional Health Podcast, Empowered Relationships, Overcoming Codependency, Personal Growth Strategies, Mental Health and Relationships, Healing Emotional Exhaustion, Psychology and Relationships, Self-Love and Self-Worth, Transforming Relationships This episode is sponsored by: —BON CHARGE: Use code MARKGROVES to save 15% at http://boncharge.com/MARKGROVES —Qualia Life: Use code MARKGROVES to save 15% at https://qualialife.com/markgroves  Contact us at podcast@markgroves.com for sponsor product support, questions, comments, or just to say hello! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The theme of this class was taken from Melody Beattie's Journey To The Heart: Take Time To Be Pleased. The physical focus was keeping your eyes open. Recorded live at Jai Dee Yoga in Tampa, FL.

The theme of this practice was taken from Melody Beattie's Journey To The Heart: The Real Magic is About To Begin & the physical focus was the breath. Recorded live at Jai Dee Yoga in Tampa, Fl.

The theme of this practice was taken from Melody Beattie's Journey To The Heart "Open to universal love" the physical focus was keeping your eyes open. Recorded live at Jai Dee Yoga in Tampa, FL.

The theme of this practice was taken from Melody Beattie's Journey To The Heart "Your Destiny Is Now." the physical focus is FEET. Recorded live at Jai Dee Yoga in Tampa, FL.

The theme of this practice was taken from Melody Beattie's Journey To The Heart "Heal Your Resentments" the physical focus is shoulders. Recorded live at Jai Dee Yoga in Tampa, FL.

In this episode of the Mom on Purpose book club, we're going to dive into the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. I think so much of us as Christian women, as mothers, we can find and see ourselves a lot in this definition she lists as being a codependent or struggling with codependency. So, listen in as we recognize and overcome the traits of codependency, focusing on how caretaking and low self-esteem play significant roles.We also address the emotional journey of detaching from adult children, the importance of setting boundaries, and fostering independence. Through this book, I share strategies for mothers transitioning from being deeply involved in their children's lives to allowing them more independence. Reclaim your self-worth and emotional healing, as we discuss the effects of self-criticism and the path to self-acceptance.What you'll learn:How codependency can manifest even in the absence of substance abuseHow to step out of the drama triangle and foster healthier interactionsStrategies for mothers to transition from controlling to guiding as their children grow more independentShifting focus from fixing others to managing one's own emotionsSigns of being codependent based on the book "Codependent No More" by Melody BeattieFeatured on the Show: Codependent No More by Melody BeattieHonoring the Self: Self-Esteem and Personal Transformation by Nathaniel BrandenOn Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families by Elisabeth Kübler-RossClick HERE to watch this video to learn The 3 Things to Avoid When Reading Self-Help BooksHow to Connect with Lara: Web: www.larajohnsoncoaching.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/j.lara.johnson/ Facebook: www.facebook.com/larajohnsoncoaching Work with Lara: www.larajohnsoncoaching.com/work-with-me/

We share about finding the book “Co-Dependent No More” by Melody Beattie.You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE.  We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events.  Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us!  To submit an email to the podcast:    podcast@systemspeak.comContent Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general.  Content descriptors are generally given in each episode.  Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse.  Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience.  Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity.  While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice.  Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you.  Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency.  This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Try out The Weekly Accountability Group for Free We are going to be talking about the importance of fun. So I'm going to be really honest with you, this is a topic that I have had so much trouble with.  Yeah, I have had trouble having fun.  I thought that, I don't know, life was to be endured. And even though I had a positive, natural positive attitude, I didn't know how to have fun. I had no idea how to have fun. And you know what that hurt? That hurt my acting career and that hurt my ability to act because I wasn't experiencing all emotions, especially the really good ones.  But the thing is that when we as casting directors, agents, managers are meeting with you, we want to be with people who are Professional, but also are fun to be around people that we want to work with, that we want to be on a set with day in and day out now. Okay, that might not apply for the casting director or the agent or the manager, but I am going to be working with you a decent amount.  So yes, it does apply to that, but it really applies in your auditions.  Are you having fun? Do you know how to have fun?  And if you don't, that's okay.  You can have fun learning, and you may make mistakes while having fun.  I've certainly done that.  I thought something was going to be fun, and then it really wasn't.  In fact, I hated it.  Anyway, so I'm going to read a little thing out of Melody Beattie's Language of Letting Go. “Have some fun with life, with the day. Find the good things in the day. Find the fun things in the day. Life is not a drudgery. That is an old belief.”  And as I said, truly an old belief of mine.  “We can let go of it. We are on an adventure. And this adventure is life. It is a journey. Events will come to pass that we cannot even fathom.” I think that's one of the gifts of being deaf. Age is that with age, you begin to appreciate life more. You begin to appreciate the day more.  And lately I've had podcasts and podcasts that will come up about being decisive, making mistakes. You can have fun with all of this.  The big thing is we want to create the best life and career and experience with this one amazing shot we have on this planet.  “We want to try and replace our heaviness and weariness of spirit with joy. Surround yourself with people and things that bring lightness of spirit as opposed to that heaviness. Become sensitive to happiness, to lightness, to the incredible wonder of life.  The journey, it really can be an exciting adventure. Let yourself be. Enjoy it.” One of the mantras that I gave myself recently, creating amazing experiences in my life is fun for me. Creating amazing experiences in my life. is fun for me.  Again, fun. It's so important. You want to be around people who are fun.  Why would that stop in a casting office? Why would that stop in an agent's office? Why would that stop at a manager's office? Why would that stop in auditioning?  Have fun. This business can be fun. It can be exciting. Yes, it can also be trying. But let's have fun on the adventure.

Welcome back to The Integrated Man Project! I'm your host, Travis Goodman, and today we have a truly transformative episode lined up for you. We're diving deep into personal growth, healing, and the journey to reconnect with our true selves. Joining us is the incredible Sam Powers—a personal development coach, custom home builder, and dedicated father of three.In this heartfelt conversation, Sam opens up about his struggles with shame, feelings of inadequacy, and how these led to alcohol abuse and an emotional breakdown in 2020. We'll hear about the life-changing impact of his six-day intensive therapy workshop at On Site and his journey of rebuilding both his home and his emotional life.Together, we'll explore the pressures of evangelical and purity culture, the challenges of codependency, and the importance of empathy, vulnerability, and intentionality in the process of healing. Sam shares profound insights from his work on "primal questions" and offers practical advice on how men can embrace their emotional healing.HIGHLIGHTS: The Breaking Point and Redemption: Sam opens up about his emotional breakdown in June 2020, driven by shame and feelings of inadequacy, leading him to alcohol abuse. His turning point came through his wife's encouragement and attending a six-day intensive therapy workshop called On-Site. Codependency Unraveled: Reflecting on his past, Sam discusses how he discovered his codependent tendencies and worked diligently to address them. He credits Melody Beattie's book, "Codependent No More," as a critical resource during his recovery, allowing him to break free from unhealthy patterns and find authentic ways to cope. Primal Questions and Personal Growth: Sam introduces the concept of "primal questions" – core emotional needs stemming from childhood – and how asking these questions has transformed his approach to coaching and personal development. What's one question you need to answer about yourself to start your journey toward emotional healing and personal growth? Reflect on this and consider what steps you can take to seek the answers you need.So, sit back, relax, and get ready for a powerful and enlightening conversation that promises to inspire and empower you on your own journey to integration.SUPPORT THE SHOW:CLICK HERE!JOIN THE MAILING LIST & GET INVOLVED!CLICK HERE: MAILING LISTWATCH ON YOUTUBE:WATCH HEREConnect and Support Sam:Instagram: swamipowersWeb: www.sampowerscoaching.comConnect and Support Travis:YouTube: Travis GoodmanInstagram: @integratedmanprojectCheck out the Website: IntegratedManProject.com

You did not cause it, you can't change it or cure it!!! ENOUGH Co Dependent No More by Melody Beattie

BOOK A CALL WITH PETER Today, I'm going to talk about positive energy and energy and the actor and why it is so intensely important.  I have found positive energy and positive thinking to be one of the most important things for a happy life and a happy career. So I'm going to start with a quote, which is Gandhi, which is “be the change you wish to see in the world.” Anais Nin, “We do not see the world as it is. We see it as we are.” And so what I want to see the world is, especially in such tumultuous times, is I want to see the good in the world.  Not the bad, because the more I see good in my world, the more good is reflected back to me.  And because we see it as we are, that is why we want to have as much positive energy going through us as possible.  And when I talk about positive energy, I talk about anabolic energy.  I'm talking about that anabolic energy and that anabolic energy is growing, building, healing energy.  And it is who I Truly am and that's truth with a capital T, whether I believe it or not. Another thing is that anabolic energy gives me a high chance for success. It has me being fully conscious.  It has me in a state where I believe in myself. In me, but I also believe in that power greater than me, in that universe.  So now I'm going to move into my favorite text of The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. “It's so easy to look around and notice what's wrong, it takes practice to see what's right.” The reason why it's so easy to see what's wrong is because that's what my motherboard, my limiting beliefs, have taught me, programmed me to look for the bad, not for the good, or to look for the negative instead of the positive. That's the only reason why that happens.  It happens because I was programmed that way.  And there's that wonderful joke that your parents know how to push your buttons because they're the ones who installed them.  It takes practice to notice what's right.  Now, remember when just a moment ago I said it's easier to look around and see what's, what's wrong or what's negative. I put that word easy in quotes because quite frankly, It is actually far easier to do this work and have a happier life than continuing to look at the negative and continue to build and foster that.  That just keeps me in that awful state of negativity and that awful area of status quo, where I know that pain that you know you could be doing so much better, but you aren't. I'm sorry, but that is not easy.  Melody Beattie goes on to say, “many of us have lived around negativity for years. We've become skilled, we've become skilled at labeling what's wrong with other people, our life, our work, our day, our relationships, ourselves, our conduct, our core work. We want to be realistic and our goal is to identify and accept reality.” However, this often is not our intent when we practice negativity. The purpose of negativity is generally annihilation.  I do not wanna annihilate. I do not want to annihilate a good life for myself because of the way I was programmed.  No, I want to create a good life for me, a happy life for me, a place where my life is in the position for a high chance for success. And this is what I want for you as an actor.  “Negativity empowers the problem.” The problem of not working as an actor. The problem of not knowing what to do next. The problem [ of nothing ever good happens to me. It empowers that. I'm sorry, I don't want to go there. That's not what I want because negativity takes us out of harmony.  Negative energy sabotages and destroys.  How many actors have said to me, I sabotage myself. I sabotage myself.  I used to be someone who used to sabotage themselves. I no longer do that. I no longer do that.  Let's put it this way. I no longer choose that.  I choose to work for myself instead of against myself. And that is the far easier path.  “Negative thinking empowers the problem. It takes us out of harmony. Negative energy sabotages and destroys. It has a powerful life of it's own.  and it has the power to enable our self sabotaging. But here's the catch, and here's the good news. So does powerful energy.  “Each day we can ask what's right, what's good about other people, about our life, our work, our day, our relationships, ourselves, our conduct, our recovery.”  And this is something that I truly believe. Negative energy comes from my ego. It comes from that thought system. That power system.  And positive energy comes from the universal. Thought system, the universal power system, that is infinite, that is positive. And here is the thing, my ego thought system is finite, it only has so much energy.  But positive energy, when I hook up my pipeline to the positive energy, to the universal energy, that is much stronger than the negative energy.  That is why I say in my weekly classes, I talk to my clients, my students, my actors about this. You put in one inch of core work, you put in one inch of effort, and you will get more than one yard back.  Because the positive energy is so much stronger than the negative. We just have to choose it.  “Positive energy heals, it conducts love, and transforms. Choose positive energy.” I love that word transforms. Because I truly used to be a very negative person. Mainly about myself. Every other thing I said to myself was, I'm not something enough. That is not the case anymore. There is truly hope.  If I can help myself, I can help you.  The other thing about Energy is that everybody wants that positive energy. Everybody wants that abundant life. And the thing is that living that abundant life begins with believing in focusing on that abundant world.  Practicing gratitude. Just even mentioning three times a day or three things in a day that you want to practice gratitude for, that is a phenomenal way to have positive energy in your life. 

Send Rev Rachel a Text Message and let her know how Soul Recovery is working in your life.Have you ever wondered why your family members have such a unique ability to push your buttons? Join me, Rev Rachel, as we explore this fascinating phenomenon in our latest episode of the Recover Your Soul podcast. Inspired by Melody Beattie's "The Language of Letting Go," we delve into power dynamics within family relationships and the deep emotional triggers they activate. By turning the attention to ourselves, we uncover how these interactions can become powerful tools for personal growth, healing and Soul Recovery. Embracing your feelings and practicing self-care are crucial steps in our Soul Recovery journey. In this episode, we discuss the transformative power of acknowledging and honoring your emotions, leading to greater compassion, forgiveness, and tolerance within family dynamics and not allowing them to push those buttons.For more information about Rev. Rachel Harrison and Recover Your Soul- visit the website www.recoveryoursoul.net  use the code TRYASESSION for 40% off your first Spiritual Coaching session when you book on the website.  Visit the website for all events and groups to get involved in Soul Recovery and the community.Soul Recovery Support Group on Zoom -The 1st Monday of the Month, 6PM Mountain Time. This is a drop in support group where we can come together to explore, connect and support each other on our Soul Recovery journey.  Visit the website to register and receive the meeting invite.  Free to attend and donations appreciated.This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not allied or representative of any organizations or religions, but is based on the opinions and experience of Rev. Rachel Harrison. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Take what you need and leave the rest.Support the Show. Make a one time donation to support the Recover Your Soul Podcast on the home page or become a monthly supporter from $3 to $10, follow us on Instagram, Insight Timer, TikTok, YouTube and Facebook and join the private Facebook group to be part of the RYS community. Support this podcast and have access to bonus content by becoming a Patreon Member or subscribing on Apple Podcasts and have access to an EXTRA episode each Friday. Episode Transcripts found here https://recoveryoursoul.buzzsprout.com

So today I actually, I've been just so intensely busy with so many different things and I was in New York City today and one of the things I used to do when I was in New York more than I am now is I would go into churches and I just happened to pass by an old church that I usually would go into and I just walked in. And it was quiet, quiet.  And I have been noticing this past, I don't know, week, that my mind has been racing a lot.  Just tons and tons of talk and nothing negative. Just very busy.  And it's disrupted my sleep and it's been so unpleasant.  And then I went into that church and I noticed that in this church when I closed the doors and I sat in one of the pews and I've done this, you know, with other spiritual places of worship.  So I sat in the pew and I just closed my eyes. and it was so wonderful. Because it was so quiet and almost instantaneously it was like my soul was soothed.  My soul was soothed with silence.  And so today, I wanted to do a podcast about prayer and meditation. Now I need to stress that I am not a religious person. My relationship is with the universe. And sometimes I do call the universe God, but for me, it is really a spiritual entity.  I think of it as my higher self. Because I so strongly believe that the universe is a part of me and I am a part of the universe.  So as usual, as per the usual, I am going to be doing a reading out of The Language of Letting Go. I'm gonna alter it slightly for our purposes.  So the first thing that she says is she gives a quote by Emmett Fox The Sermon on the Mount. And it says, “as a matter of fact, prayer is the only real action in the full sense of the word, because prayer is the only thing that changes one's character. A change in character or a change in soul is a real change.” And although I felt that today while I was sitting in silence, because I felt a change in me. And it's a change that I've kept with me for the rest of the day.  And I said to myself, well, why don't you do this more often? But I don't even have to go into a church to do it. I just need to be quiet, which is something that I do. Not for as long as I was in that church. I probably was only there, I don't know, ten minutes. But again, it was very soothing to my soul.  Melody Beattie goes on to say, “Erika Young has said that we are spiritual beings who are human. Prayer or praying and meditating are ways that we can take care of our spirit. Prayer and meditation are disciples suggested by the 11th step of 12 step recovery programs.” And a prayer that I love, that I believe I, I shared with you recently, is I pray for the knowledge of your will for me and the power to carry that out.  I pray for the knowledge of your will for me and the power to carry that out.  And I can say that for my acting career, I can say it for anything, but you can also say it for your acting career, because sometimes we feel so lost and I want that word, I've told you before, it's my favorite word, wisdom to guide us. Prayer and meditation are not necessarily connected to organized religion, prayer and meditation are ways to improve our personal relationship with higher power or the universe to benefit ourselves, our life, our growth.  And again, the, the, the phrases that come up for me are take care of yourself first and the rest will follow.  Take care of yourself first and the rest will follow.  And that means mentally, physically and spiritually. Praying is how we connect with our higher power, our universe.  We don't pray because we have to. We pray because we want to.  It is how we link our soul to our source.  I remember when I was a very young girl, I wrote down on a piece of paper: go back to the source. And at the time, I did not know what that meant. But yet I felt it. I understood it. And it's one of those pieces of paper in your life that you cherish. Because at some young age, I knew there was something bigger than me.  There was something out there that was bigger than me. I don't think I understood that I was a part of it and it was a part of me. But I understood that it existed.  “We're learning to take care of our emotions, our mind, and our physical needs” Again, take care of ourselves first and the rest will follow.  “We're learning to change our behaviors, but we're also learning to take care of our spirit. We're learning to take care of our soul because that is truly where all change begins. Each time we talk to the universe, we are transformed. Each time we connect with our higher power, we are heard, touched, and changed for the best.” It's funny, I can't prove to you that I was changed for the best by just walking into that church today and sitting for ten minutes in silence. But yet, somehow, somehow I was.

Ever considered the profound impact a simple shift in perspective can have on your relationships and self-worth? Join Alison as she delves into the principles of Melody Beattie's work on codependency and its applications in everyday life. This episode is a journey through the art of empathy, self-forgiveness, and the power of seeing the world through another's eyes, which can lead to a more compassionate understanding of one another and ourselves. Through personal stories and lessons, Alison explains how embracing our vulnerabilities not only enhances communication but also fosters stronger connections.Navigating the complexities of human emotions and insecurities, Alison unravels how they shape our interactions and can inadvertently cause hurt in our relationships. She unpacks the idea that actions often stem from a place of fear rather than malice, and how this realization can transform our approach to ourselves and others. By believing the best in people and ourselves, we learn to prioritize our feelings and responses, moving from a need for external approval to finding strength within. This episode is an intimate look into the shift from constructing defenses to building bridges, emphasizing the role of an internal locus of control in cultivating self-worth and the importance of maintaining authenticity in our connections.Key highlights:Shifting PerspectivesUnderstanding Insecurities and Relationship DynamicsUnderstanding Relationships and Communication DynamicsConnect with Alison:Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounselingWebsite: LagerCounseling.comYouTube: Alison AnswersFacebook: Alison Lager Lcsw CasacPurchase Alison's book: “The Wake Up Call”Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HEREWomen of Excellence FB group: Join HERE

Private Coaching Now I wouldn't say that I would sometimes call myself Peter Pamela Perfectionism Rose, but sometimes I've called myself Peter Pamela Perfectionism Rose. The biggest thing about perfectionism that I want to talk about today is that perfectionism leads to procrastination, leads to paralysis.  The other thing that I think is so important about the lesson of perfectionism is to make your ears grow bigger, cunning, baffling, and powerful. I look at all the ways, in fact even this too, recording today's podcast, I was looking for the right time to do it.  But do you know what the right time to do it was? Right now. Right now was the right time to do it.  See, my wanting to, and this is just me but maybe you can relate, my waiting to just feel like it is perfectionism in a very cunning, baffling, and powerful way, trying to get me to not do what I most need to do to move my career forward, which is because for the past, I think over two years now, I have put out a podcast every week, even when my house flooded, even when my house flooded and that If you can start to override that perfectionism and let it go for just a moment so that you do that action now, bingo, we got some serious success about to happen. Now, I'm also going to lean into the fabulous Melody Beattie. The Language of Letting Go She talks about how perfectionism is an individual process that necessitates making mistakes. So recovering from perfectionism necessitates making mistakes, struggling through problems and facing tough issues.  And it's especially when I have to do things I most don't want to do that my perfectionism kicks up.  Again, waiting for the right time, waiting till I feel like it, waiting until somebody else tells me I should do it. Again, cunning, baffling, and powerful, how I get in there, how perfectionism gets in there or my perfectionism gets in there to prevent me from doing the things that I most need to do in order to achieve what I most want to do.  “Expecting ourselves to be perfect slows down the process to our getting to the level of success that we want to get to in whatever area of our life. It puts us in a guilty or anxious state. Expecting others to be perfect is equally destructive. It makes others feel ashamed and may interfere with their growth. Keep the focus on yourself.” It was one of the craziest things I've learned in core work. Is that once I finally got the focus on me and off of everybody else, I was like, how the heck did I even have time to focus on other people and try and control them and try and manipulate them? How did I even have the time?  I'm so damn busy with me. I'm a freaking full time job. That's when the good stuff begins, when you start to really focus on you, that's when the good stuff starts.  “People are human and vulnerable. We can accept and cherish that idea. Expecting others to be perfect puts us in a codependent state of moral superiority.”  And sometimes I find I do that with myself. I put myself in “Peter, you're just gonna have to do it better than everybody else.”  What the fuck is that? Oh, that's so much arrogance. That's so much moral superiority that I think I know what perfect is. IIt's really all about process and life being a process.  “Expecting ourselves to be perfect makes us feel rigid and inferior.” And also as an actor, I find it makes us rigid. We have to do the scene the way we planned it. No, you don't. In fact, mistakes are the best things that can happen. Mess ups are the best things that can happen.  I was talking with my producing partner who told me about these mistakes that happened on the set and the actor was like no, I have to redo it. And the director, he was like, ah, no, you don't. Because that was comedic genius. Remember, there is that in imperfection, some of the greatest creativity can happen as an actor.  “We do not need to go to the other extreme, tolerating anything that people throw our way. We can still expect appropriate, reasonable, and responsible behavior from ourselves and from others. But most of us can afford to loosen up a bit.”  Oh my gosh. I used to be so freaking tightly wound until I really gave myself permission to be me. And I am so much more fun now. I am so much more fun in my fifties than I ever was in my twenties and my thirties. “And we can stop expecting others to be perfect. We may discover they're doing much better than we thought.” And that's, that's also where that arrogance comes in. Where my thinking, what you should, what my thinking, I know what you should do for your life. Hell, I barely know what the hell I should be doing for my life. Why am I putting that on others? Another cunning, baffling, stinky way that perfectionism comes into our lives.  “When we stop expecting ourselves to be perfect, we'll discover that incredible beauty in ourselves, and also the beauty in others.” Perfectionism. leads to procrastination, leads to paralysis.  My assignment for you is to use your mind to govern your brain and notice the cunning, baffling, and powerful ways perfectionism comes into your acting career, and also into your life. And if I can help you with your journey to let go of your perfectionism, please let me know.  

We're back with some more therapeutic goodness as we approach the tail end of our therapy series with another fire episode! Awareness around mental health, trauma, dysfunctional family systems and more has been coming into the national awareness on a bigger level over the last 10 years. But back in 1986, the concept of codependency was really new. And unless you were deep into studying sociology or psychology or seeing a therapist yourself back then (also something that wasn't as widely accepted), Melody Beattie's book, Codependent No More, gave words to the masses who never had a way to describe these types of relationships in their lives. Codependency can worm its way into our lives—the definition being; those imbalanced relationships in our lives where one person enables another person's self-destructive behavior (like addiction, immaturity, or even irresponsibility). It's a bit insidious for those who don't know what it looks like, and for so many, Melody's book was a resource to help free themselves from something they may not have even recognized in their own lives. 35 years later, it's still shining a light on those situations. Melody comes in with a scalpel to cut away to this very precise way of behaving and relating to another that is cloaked in good intentions and self-righteousness but is actually ruining our relationships. And fun fact, we were the very first podcast Melody has ever been on! Last year, she celebrated a new edition of her book honoring 35 years of its impact. Melody and Jen walk through how to recognize what codependency is and how it might be a part of your life and your relationships—which are the first important steps toward making an enormous change for the better.  * * * Thank you to our sponsors! BetterHelp | Visit betterhelp.com/forthelove to save 10% on your first month!  FOCL | Visit https://focl.com/ and use code FORTHELOVE at checkout for 20% off of your purchase Jen Hatmaker BookClub | Visit jenhatmakerbookclub.com and use code READ at checkout $5 off your purchase!   Thought-Provoking Quotes: “Until I understood my codependency, I didn't really feel like I had a life. I was just responding to others wherever I went.” - Melody Beattie “Codependency is being so obsessed with other people that that's all we can see and so out of touch with ourselves that we don't even see that anymore.” - Melody Beattie “Seeing ourselves is probably the bravest yet most painful thing we're ever asked to do in this  lifetime. Seeing ourselves every day for the rest of our lives, instead of focusing on the other person and figuring out what they need to do to be better, to make them  happier, to live better lives, all the things that we really  should be doing for ourselves, but nobody ever ever told  us.”- Melody Beattie “The key to codependency is the victim story. Somewhere underneath everything, there is a victim story and we're just simply writing the next page or the next chapter of it every time we interact with someone.” - Melody Beattie “When we take care of a person in a way that we feel victimized by it, that is just keeping our victim story going. And that doesn't feel good. Although for many of us, it feels so comfortable.” - Melody Beattie  “Is it important to me to enjoy my life–not your life, not his life, not her life–to enjoy my life today and to love myself, at least as much as I love others?” - Melody Beattie   Melody's Links: Website: https://melodybeattie.com/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authormelodybeattie/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/writermelodybeattie/  Twitter: https://twitter.com/melodybeattie    Resources Mentioned in This Episode: For the Love episode with Dr. Brene Brown: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/getting-vulnerable-with-dr-bren%C3%A9-brown/id1258388821?i=1000391341377  Earnie Larson Books: https://www.hazelden.org/store/author/626?Earnie-Larsen  Sharon Stone's biography: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-beauty-of-living-twice-sharon-stone/1137456964    Connect with Jen! Jen's website: http://jenhatmaker.com/  Jen's Instagram: https://instagram.com/jenhatmaker Jen's Twitter: https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/  Jen's Facebook: https://facebook.com/jenhatmaker Jen's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker?sub_confirmation=1  *original episode broadcast previously on the For the Love Apple Premium Podcast Channel