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4 episodes with contemporary families
4 episodes with contemporary families
2 episodes with contemporary families
2 episodes with contemporary families
2 episodes with contemporary families
"Have you ever wondered if that family relationship you've given up on could still be healed?"Dr. Joshua Coleman shares his devastating personal journey through years of separation from his daughter. His initial defensiveness and need to be right nearly destroyed their relationship permanently. "I'd like to talk about a particularly challenging case today. It's me," he told his consultant. The breakthrough came when he learned to stop explaining and start empathizing. This painful transition became his life's mission: helping families bridge seemingly impossible divides through curiosity, vulnerability, and authentic connection.Coleman reveals the critical difference between modern psychological parenting and previous generations. Today's parents face higher expectations but often lack the emotional tools their children need. "Life is much more fragile than I imagined," he reflects, describing how estrangement changes your entire worldview. His practical guidance centers on "letters of amends"—finding truth in children's complaints rather than defending against them. For adult children, he emphasizes starting with connection goals, not blame. Can broken family bonds be repaired? Coleman's work proves healing is possible when both sides choose curiosity over being right.Dr. Joshua Coleman is a psychologist in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area and Senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families. A frequent Today Show and NPR guest, he's appeared on Good Morning America, Dr. Phil, Sesame Street, and 20/20, with features in The New Yorker and TIME Magazine. He's authored four books including "Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict." Coleman writes for major publications like The New York Times, The Atlantic, and The Wall Street Journal. Interestingly, he also composes music for television shows including Keeping Up With the Kardashians and Chicago Fire.About The Show: The Life in Transition, hosted by Art Blanchford focuses on making the most of the changes we're given every week. Art has been through hundreds of transitions in his life. Many have been difficult, but all have led to a depth and richness he could never have imagined. On the podcast Art explores how to create more love and joy in life, no matter what transitions we go through. Art is married to his lifelong partner, a proud father of three and a long-time adventurer and global business executive. He is the founder and leader of the Midlife Transition Mastery Community. Learn more about the MLTM Community here: www.lifeintransition.online.In This Episode: (00:00) Navigating Life's Fragility and Family Estrangement(03:03) Art's Personal Journey: From Estrangement to Authentic Relationship(07:21) Learning About Defensiveness and Self-Awareness(12:06) What Would You Tell Your Younger Self?(14:50) Midlife Transition Mastery Ad(16:41) Developing Compassion Through Curiosity(24:26) Life's Meaning Through Painful Transitions(27:11) Tools for Estranged Parents: The Letter of Amends(32:35) Transition Mastery Coaching Ad(34:09) Guidance for Adult Children Seeking Reconciliation(40:03) Connecting with Dr. Coleman's WorkLike, subscribe, and send us your comments and feedback.Resources:Dr. Joshua Coleman LinkedInRules of Estrangement: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/622584/rules-of-estrangement-by-joshua-coleman-phd/Email Art BlanchfordLife in Transition WebsiteLife in Transition on IGLife in Transition on FBJoin Our Community: https://www.lifeintransition.online/My new book PURPOSEFUL LIVING is out now. Order it now: https://www.amazon.com/PURPOSEFUL-LIVING-Wisdom-Coming-Complex/dp/1963913922Explore our website https://lifeintransitionpodcast.com/ for more in-depth information and resources, and to download the 8-step guide to mastering mid-life transitions.The views and opinions expressed on the Life In Transition podcast are solely those of the author and guests and should not be attributed to any other individual or entity. This podcast is an independent production of Life In Transition Podcast, and the podcast production is an original work of the author. All rights of ownership and reproduction are retained—copyright 2025.
We hear a lot about the male “epidemic of loneliness” these days—maybe it's from behaviors learned in childhood. Joshua Coleman is a psychologist in private practice and senior fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families. He joins host Krys Boyd to discuss how we parent girls and boys differently, asking boys to hide their emotions while allowing girls to express theirs and how even in infancy we don't give boys the attention they need reliably. His article, “What Parents of Boys Need to Know” was published by The Atlantic. Learn about your ad choices: dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices
On today's episode I speak with Dr. Arielle Kuperberg, Associate Professor in the Department of Sociology, Anthropology, and Public Health at UMBC. Dr. Kuperberg is also the co-chair of the Council on Contemporary Families. Check out the following links for more information on UMBC, CS3, and our host: The UMBC Center for the Social Sciences Scholarship The University of Maryland, Baltimore County Ian G. Anson, Ph.D. Retrieving the Social Sciences is a production of the UMBC Center for Social Science Scholarship. Our podcast host is Dr. Ian Anson and our Director is Dr. Eric Stokan. Our production intern is Jean Kim. Our theme music was composed and recorded by D'Juan Moreland (UMBC '24). Special thanks to Amy Barnes and Myriam Ralston for production assistance. Make sure to follow us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube, where you can find full video recordings of recent UMBC events.
Dr. Daniel Carlson joins Dave and Liz to discuss the division of household labor and its impact on marital satisfaction. From managing the mental load to ensuring fairness, Dr. Carlson shares research-backed strategies for balancing responsibilities at home. They explore the effects of the pandemic on gender roles, the importance of communication, and how couples can navigate household responsibilities to strengthen their relationships. This episode offers practical tips and insights for couples at all life stages, helping them foster mutual support and appreciation in their partnership. #marriageadvice #householdchores #genderroles This engaging episode highlights the importance of communication, fairness, and shared responsibility, offering actionable strategies to build stronger and more equitable relationships. Tune in for valuable insights and expert advice. About Dan Carlson is an associate professor of Family and Consumer Studies at the University of Utah and a Senior Fellow at the Council on Contemporary Families. He is a public scholar whose research has appeared in numerous television, print, and radio media outlets. Generally, his scholarship examines the causes and consequences of the Second Demographic Transition in U.S. society with a particular focus on the gendered division of labor. Currently, he is conducting an NSF-funded study examining long-term shifts in U.S. parents' divisions of labor since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic and their association with parents' well-being. Insights Daniel - "Don't sleep on the division of labor. You know, it may not be fun to talk about, it may not be sexy to talk about, but it's important to have these conversations with your partner about what you and they envision the load to be in your family. Who's going to do what you know, if you don't talk about it, you run the risk, potentially, of having somebody who has very different idea about these things, and that can potentially be problematic, so have that conversation, and, you know, make sure that the approach on the same page well, but when it comes to who's going to do what." Liz - "Instead of work life, balance, work life, justice, I kind of liked that a lot. I was just looking at the definition of justice as a concern for justice, peace and genuine respect for people, which I love. And I guess it goes back to the communication of even just acknowledging that I'm not going to be home much this week before six o'clock, Honey, can we talk about how that's going to go and just what you're going to need from me most, and what I'm going to need from you most? Can we? Can I pick your brain? Can we have that discussion? I think that's just so lovely, because it really is not going to be that that balance. I think some weeks are just going to be very off balance because of life." Dave - "It's got me thinking that you we really can divide responsibilities without dividing the relationship, if you will. It's and sometimes it's the give and take." Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com
What Do We Know About What DOES Work In Stepfamilies? In this episode, I'm joined by one of the preeminent stepfamily scholars in the world, Larry Ganong, Ph.D., who is out with a new book, called What Works In Stepfamilies: Creating And Maintaining Satisfying And Effective Relationships. He also happens to sit on the Stepfamily Solutions advisory board and if you've attended any of our past Stepmom Summits, you'll remember him as one of our speakers. The two coauthors of What Works In Stepfamilies are his wife, Marilyn Coleman, Ed.D., who is a celebrated researcher with an international reputation for her work on stepfamilies, and Caroline Sanner, Ph.D., an award-winning family scientist and one of the leading stepfamily scholars of her generation. The book uses a strengths-based approach and resilience perspective to offer guidance on what works in creating effective stepfamily relationships. It draws from over 2500 studies and gives a comprehensive overview of the research and best practices around what works to create positive and satisfying stepfamily relationships. It's a great discussion - and the book comes out November 21st, so definitely go check it out! About Larry: Lawrence Ganong, Ph.D. is a Chancellor's Professor and Emeritus Professor of Human Development and Family Science and Nursing at the University of Missouri. He has co-authored over 350 journal articles, chapters, and 10 books, and has received 12 research grants from public and private institutions. Ganong is a Fellow at the National Council on Family Relations and the Gerontological Society of America. He has served on the Board of Directors of the National Council on Family Relations, the Council on Contemporary Families, and The Stepfamily Association of America. Ganong's research program has focused on how post-divorce families develop and maintain satisfying and effective relationships. And Don't Forget: Follow me on Instagram and TikTok for all my latest. Got a question for me or something you're struggling with in your stepfamily life? Submit a question to be answered on a future podcast episode HERE Want to go deeper into coparenting, dealing with your partner's ex, finding your own peace, and other blended family challenges? Join the Stepfamily Circle HERE Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It's super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I'll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It's normally $49 and it's a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you'll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!
Psychologist Joshua Coleman, PhD, explores the complex issue of estrangement between parents and adult children, which he terms a “silent epidemic.” He attributes this phenomenon to factors such as increasing individualism, emphasis on personal happiness, economic insecurity, and changing perceptions of parental roles. Drawing from his professional experience and personal journey with his own estranged daughter, Dr. Coleman offers guidance to parents navigating these difficult relationships. His approach focuses on understanding the adult child's perspective, developing strategies for reconciliation, and finding ways to heal or move forward. Rules of Estrangement provides parents with tools to engage in meaningful conversations and cultivate healthier relationships with their adult children, while also addressing the emotional toll of estrangement. Joshua Coleman, PhD, is a psychologist in private practice and Senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families. A frequent guest on NPR and Today, his advice has also appeared in The New York Times, The Atlantic, the Wall Street Journal, CNN, Chicago Tribune and other publications. A popular conference speaker, he has given talks to the faculties at Harvard, the Weill Cornell Department of Psychiatry and other academic institutions. Dr. Coleman is co-editor with historian Stephanie Coontz of seven online volumes of Unconventional Wisdom: News You Can Use: a compendium of noteworthy research on the contemporary family. He is the father of three adult children, has a teenage grandson and lives with his wife in the San Francisco Bay Area. He is the author of The Marriage Makeover: Finding Happiness in Imperfect Harmony. His latest book is Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict. Shermer and Coleman discuss: estrangement, exploring its causes and effects through personal experiences and societal trends. They examine the impact of divorce, generational shifts, and cultural changes on family dynamics. The conversation covers various factors contributing to estrangement, including individualism, economic insecurity, mental health issues, and ideological differences. They also address the roles of psychotherapy, in-laws, and inheritance in family relationships. The discussion touches on reconciliation possibilities and the long-term consequences of estrangement, drawing insights from recent literature on generational behaviors and mental health.
Estrangement from adult children can be one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life. This week, Andrew talks to Dr Joshua Coleman, the author of Rules of Estrangement. They discuss: Why estrangement has become so common Why estrangement isn't a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children. Approaches parents can take to achieve reconciliation with children and grandchildren. Techniques for starting a conversation. Dr Coleman's own experience of estrangement from his daughter. Dr Joshua Coleman is a psychologist in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area and a Senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families. He has written for The New York Times, The Atlantic, Huffington Post, and Psychology Today. He has been a frequent guest on The Today Show and NPR, and has even been featured on Sesame Street. Follow Up Get Andrew's free guide to difficult conversations with your partner: How to Tell Your Partner Difficult Things Take a look at Andrew's new online relationship course: My Best Relationship Tools Buy Dr Joshua Coleman's new book, Rules of Estrangement Visit Dr Joshua Coleman's website You might also enjoy Andrew's interview with Celia Dodd on how to Navigate Your Relationship with Your Adult Children Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50. Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Hello, Retirement Rebels! Today's episode is bound to ignite your rebellious spirit and challenge the ageist norms that have crept into our culture. As I sat down with Ashton Applewhite, we delved into three pivotal topics that are sure to resonate with each and every one of you.Firstly, we explored the U-curve of happiness, delving into the fascinating phenomenon that indicates people are happiest in their childhood and later in life but grapple with challenges during midlife. This opens up a profound discussion about the perception of happiness at different stages of life, encouraging us to seek joy and fulfilment regardless of our age.Secondly, we tackled ageism in the workplace, a pervasive issue that affects the careers of older individuals. From concerns about mandatory retirement to biases against older workers, we're looking at ways to address these barriers and champion a culture of inclusivity, respect, and opportunity for everyone.Lastly, we delved into the significance of creating a retirement rebel community that challenges ageist attitudes and champions the wisdom and power of older women. I feel motivated to take the lead in challenging stereotypes and promoting a more welcoming and supportive world for retirement rebels everywhere as a result of our insightful conversation with Ashton Applewhite.Let's band together as Retirement Rebels and dive into this empowering discussion that promises to pave the way for a future that celebrates the beauty and power of ageing.Dont forget to follow / subscribe to the podcast for FREE on your podcast app of choice or play it directly from the website: www.retirementrebel.co.ukKey Points:00:00 Age denial, human nature, old age misconceptions.05:22 Regret about book rights, seeking review attention.08:02 Ageism universal, powerful, and important prejudice.09:13 Comparing prejudices is a losing battle.12:25 Age should not define our relationships or experiences.16:12 Midlife can bring increased responsibilities and challenges.19:04 Combat ageism through cultural change and education.23:12 Age not a reliable measure in healthcare.25:12 Increasing representation of older voices, especially women.28:46 Ageing presents challenges beyond our control, but...33:57 Privileged bias in older people's sense of purpose.34:50 Embracing ageing brings welcome changes and wisdom.38:28 The World Health Organisation launched campaign combating ageism.41:34 Spending time with mixed-age groups is enlightening.45:58 Change your thinking, change the world.48:02 The pandemic brought older women together, seeking liberation.52:57 Reflecting on conversation with Ashton Applewhite, addressing ageism.53:54 Creating retirement rebel community and transforming societal attitudes.Guest InfoAshton Applewhite, an accomplished writer and dedicated activist, began her journey with an unexpected bestseller, "Truly Tasteless Jokes." She found her true passion in tackling social issues, notably with her groundbreaking book, "Cutting Loose: Why Women Who End Their Marriages Do So Well." This work led Ashton to influential roles in the Council on Contemporary Families and significant activist movements. During her 17-year tenure at the American Museum of Natural History, she covered a wide array of topics before shifting to full-time activism in 2017.Ashton's focus on combating ageism is highlighted in her influential blog and book, "This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism." Her efforts to change how people view aging have received recognition from prominent media outlets and organizations like the UN, including a standing ovation at TED 2017. In 2018, she...
This series is sponsored by Mira and Daniel Stokar, and this episode is sponsored by Dr. Leah Younger of Younger Psychology.In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to psychologist Dr. Joshua Coleman, about the nuances of familial estrangement and reconciliation. Then, we hear from mindset coach Jason Blau and translator Izzy Posen about how these issues play out within the Jewish community. In this episode we discuss:What strategies can be employed by families carrying the burden of strife and negativity?What are the common triggers of family estrangement, and how can those in strained relationships move forward?What is the role of family in a world of optionality?Tune in to hear a conversation about how we can make peace with the “ghosts” of our past. Interview with Joshua Coleman begins at 8:54.Interview with Jason Blau begins at 54:42.Interview with Izzy Posen begins at 1:15:42.Dr. Joshua Coleman is a psychologist in private practice and a Senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families, an organization of sociologists, historians, psychologists and demographers dedicated to providing the public with the latest research and best practice findings about American families. He has written for The New York Times, The Atlantic, and other publications, and often speaks on television about issues of estrangement, relationships, and families. Dr. Coleman also writes music for television which has been used on many shows. References:“Of Ghosts and Ancestors” by Ari Berman“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené BrownWhere to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day by Anne Katherine Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet LernerThe Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet LernerRules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict by Joshua ColemanWhen Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along by Joshua Coleman“The Family Reunion” by Izzy PosenGenesis 46“הַמַּלְאָךְ" by Izzy Posen"Daddy Come Home" by The Yeshiva Boys Choir
Dr. Coleman is a psychologist in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area and a Senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families. He has written for The New York Times, The Atlantic, NBC Think, The Behavioral Scientist, CNN, MarketWatch, the San Francisco Chronicle, Greater Good Magazine, AEON, Huffington Post, Psychology Today and more. He is the author of numerous peer-reviewed articles and chapters and has written four books, most recently: The Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict (Penguin Random House). A frequent guest on the Today Show and NPR he has also been featured on Sesame Street, 20/20, Good Morning America, PBS, America Online Coaches, and numerous news programs for FOX, ABC, CNN, and NBC television. Joshua Coleman, Ph.D. ------ LinkedIn Facebook Instagram
Joshua Coleman, psychologist, senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families, and author of “The Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict,” describes firsthand his experience of family estrangement, which he says was “incredibly painful.” Coleman explains how his personal experience led to further research on family estrangement, including interviewing thousands of parents whose adult children have broken contact with them.
Evan is joined by Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan, Ph.d, professor of psychology and a faculty affiliate of the Institute for Population Eesearch at the Ohio State University. She's a member of the board of the Council on Contemporary Families and directs the Children and Parents Lab at Ohio State.More at https://u.osu.edu/schoppesullivan/
Do you have a family member who you are just not speaking to right now? You're not alone. About 27 percent of American adults say they have cut off contact with a family member, according to one study from Cornell University. So how do you decide when to cut someone off or to try to repair the relationship? And what about if you are the one who someone has stopped speaking to? Guest host and MPR News reporter Catharine Richert talks with two psychologists about estrangement and how we can navigate our most complicated relationships with family and friends. Guests: Joshua Coleman is a psychologist and a senior fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families, a non-partisan organization that focuses on research about American families. He is also the author of “The Rules of Estrangement.” Lindsay C. Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.”
Does the modern quest for personal happiness ruin perfectly good marriages? Joshua Coleman is a psychologist in private practice and a senior fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families. He joins host Krys Boyd to discuss how our culture of individualism puts pressure on relationships, feeling like a failure for not being able to repair a faltering marriage, and how to know it's time to walk away. His article in Aeon is called “The Right Person.”
Joshua Coleman is a psychologist and senior fellow at the Council on Contemporary Families. He is the author of Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict. In this week's conversation, Yascha Mounk and Joshua Coleman discuss why there is a growing number of estrangements between parents and their adult children, how political identification has increasingly become a source of family conflict, and the best strategies for how estranged parents and adult children can heal their relationships. This transcript has been condensed and lightly edited for clarity. Please do listen and spread the word about The Good Fight. If you have not yet signed up for our podcast, please do so now by following this link on your phone. Email: podcast@persuasion.community Website: http://www.persuasion.community Podcast production by John Taylor Williams, and Brendan Ruberry Connect with us! Spotify | Apple | Google Twitter: @Yascha_Mounk & @joinpersuasion Youtube: Yascha Mounk LinkedIn: Persuasion Community Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
"When paternity leave comes into the picture you have a situation where parents are home together. Those processes are able to develop for both the mother and the father - there's time for fathers to bond with their children, there's time for parents to figure out how to be parents together. It's not so lopsided where mothers become the experts because they are there all the time. Mothers and fathers can develop that expertise together because they are both there at home at the same time. At this sort of crucial point where you figure everything out for the first time, I think it can really have a transformative effect. That is why we see that paternity leave matters for a whole host of outcomes." Episode Description: We begin by describing what paternity leave is and how it differs in countries worldwide. Richard's research documents the profound positive impact that fathers taking time off at the birth of a child has both in the short-term and long-term. Improvements in children's functioning have been noted up to 9 years after the leave. Regarding the 'selection question' - is it the leave or the father who chooses the leave - he is convinced that the data shows that the leave itself is a meaningful variable in these improved outcomes. We discuss the differential availability of leave between higher and lower-income workers and the relative absence of data on leave in same-sex marriages. We close with his sharing with us his personal story regarding paternity leave as well as the influence of how he was fathered in his own fathering. Our Guest: Richard J. Petts, Ph.D. is a Professor of Sociology at Ball State University. His research focuses on the intersection of family, work, gender, and policy, with a specific emphasis on parental leave, father involvement, and workplace flexibility as policies and practices that can reduce gender inequality, promote greater work-family balance, and improve family well-being. He serves on the Board of Directors of the Council on Contemporary Families, an organization devoted to disseminating the latest research on American families. He has published extensively in academic journals, and his work has been featured in numerous media outlets including The New York Times, CNN, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, and The Atlantic. You can learn more about his research by visiting his website www.richardpetts.com and by following him on Twitter, @pettsric
Dr. Joshua Coleman is a psychologist in San Francisco and a Senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families. He has written for The New York Times, The Atlantic, NBC THINK, The Behavioral Scientist, CNN, the San Francisco Chronicle, Huffington Post, Psychology Today, Variety, and more. He's also given talks to the faculties at Harvard, the Weill Cornell Department of Psychiatry, and other academic institutions. A frequent guest on the Today Show and NPR Dr. Coleman has also been featured on Sesame Street, 20/20, Good Morning America, PBS, and numerous news programs for FOX, ABC, CNN, and NBC television. Dr. Coleman is also the author of four books: The Rules of Estrangement, The Marriage Makeover, The Lazy Husband, and When Parents Hurt. We talk about... Why a parent and child might become estranged How common estrangement is Why it's now the parent's job to earn the love and respect of their child What the rules of estrangement look like Whether or not today's children are too hard on their parents The role boundaries play in estrangement What the reconciliation process looks like How parents can navigate shame that might arise with estrangement What not to do when trying to reconcile How estrangement can impact grandparent's relationships with their grandkids Why reconciliation therapy looks different than marriage therapy Episode goodies... Get a FREE bonus sample pack with your first order of LMNT when you click here. Like the show? Please leave me a review here. Even just one sentence helps! Post a screenshot of you listening on Instagram and tag me at courageously.u so I can send you a virtual hug. TODAY'S SHOW NOTES: https://courageouslyu.com/dr-joshua-coleman/ HANGOUT WITH ME ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/courageously.u/
Dr Joshua Coleman is a psychologist who works with couples and a senior fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families. So often, couples come to him wondering if they married the wrong person.
Does the modern quest for personal happiness ruin perfectly good marriages? Joshua Coleman is a psychologist in private practice and a senior fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families. He joins host Krys Boyd to discuss how our culture of individualism puts pressure on relationships, feeling like a failure for not being able to repair a faltering marriage, and how to know it's time to walk away. His article in Aeon is called “The Right Person.”
When it comes to childhood trauma, do our bodies keep the score, and with what emotional impacts? Historian of child psychology Emma Sutton finds out about the recent explosion of interest in "trauma-informed" approaches and their impact on family relationships. She tries out some trauma-informed therapy herself, and discusses with therapists and experts what this approach can mean for dealing with the aftermath of adverse childhood experiences - including the additional harm done to families when someone decides to "go no contact" with a parent. Emma discusses with Reverend Giles Fraser the dangers of overly medicalising painful experiences - and Giles speaks about his own experience of being beaten frequently when at school. The episode ends with a visit to the Kazzum Arts project and its director Alex Evans - who speaks about the powerful influence that adults can have in protecting children from the worst effects of trauma, by being playful, curious, accepting and empathetic in their interactions with them. Steve Haines is a bodyworker and author who is deeply interested in pain, trauma and anxiety. @stevehaines66 Dr Charley Baker is an associate professor of Mental Health at the University of Nottingham. @CharleyBaker1 Dr Angela Davis is a historian of motherhood and parenting in twentieth-century Britain. She is the author of Modern Motherhood: Women and Family in England, 1945–2000. Dr Joshua Coleman is psychologist in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area and a Senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families, a non-partisan organization of leading sociologists, historians, psychologists and demographers dedicated to providing the press and public with the latest research and best practice findings about American families. @drjcoleman Reverend Giles Fraser is the Vicar of St Anne's in Kew, as well as being a journalist and author. His most recent book is Chosen: Lost and Found Between Christianity and Judaism, and in 2017 he made a series for Radio 4 - “This Old Heart of Mine” - about the experience of surviving a heart attack and bypass surgery. It gave him the chance to reflect on matters of the heart - physical, emotional, and spiritual. @giles_fraser Alex Evans is a visual artist, director and creative facilitator living and working in London. He is proud to be the Artistic Director of Kazzum Arts, after taking on the role in June 2017. @KazzumArts "Living With Feeling" is produced by Natalie Steed for Rhubarb Rhubarb, and supported by the Wellcome Trust. It is brought to you by the Queen Mary Centre for the History of the Emotions. Find out more about our work at The Emotions Lab website.
When it comes to childhood trauma, do our bodies keep the score, and with what emotional impacts?Historian of child psychology Emma Sutton finds out about the recent explosion of interest in "trauma-informed" approaches and their impact on family relationships. She tries out some trauma-informed therapy herself, and discusses with therapists and experts what this approach can mean for dealing with the aftermath of adverse childhood experiences - including the additional harm done to families when someone decides to "go no contact" with a parent.Emma discusses with Reverend Giles Fraser the dangers of overly medicalising painful experiences - and Giles speaks about his own experience of being beaten frequently when at school. The episode ends with a visit to the Kazzum Arts project and its director Alex Evans - who speaks about the powerful influence that adults can have in protecting children from the worst effects of trauma, by being playful, curious, accepting and empathetic in their interactions with them. Steve Haines is a bodyworker and author who is deeply interested in pain, trauma and anxiety. @stevehaines66Dr Charley Baker is an associate professor of Mental Health at the University of Nottingham. @CharleyBaker1Dr Angela Davis is a historian of motherhood and parenting in twentieth-century Britain. She is the author of Modern Motherhood: Women and Family in England, 1945–2000.Dr Joshua Coleman is psychologist in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area and a Senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families, a non-partisan organization of leading sociologists, historians, psychologists and demographers dedicated to providing the press and public with the latest research and best practice findings about American families. @drjcolemanReverend Giles Fraser is the Vicar of St Anne's in Kew, as well as being a journalist and author. His most recent book is Chosen: Lost and Found Between Christianity and Judaism, and in 2017 he made a series for Radio 4 - “This Old Heart of Mine” - about the experience of surviving a heart attack and bypass surgery. It gave him the chance to reflect on matters of the heart - physical, emotional, and spiritual. @giles_fraserAlex Evans is a visual artist, director and creative facilitator living and working in London. He is proud to be the Artistic Director of Kazzum Arts, after taking on the role in June 2017. @KazzumArts "Living With Feeling" is produced by Natalie Steed for Rhubarb Rhubarb, and supported by the Wellcome Trust. It is brought to you by the Queen Mary Centre for the History of the Emotions. Find out more about our work at The Emotions Lab website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Interview with Stephanie Coontz, Expert on Contemporary Families and MarriageHOSTED BY PAUL SULLIVANHow have husbands and wives balanced working, parenting and being together throughout history? Stephanie Coontz, the director of research and public education at the Council on Contemporary Families, says it's generally not how most of think about it today. If anything, the past 50 or 60 years are an historical aberration – since it used to be more egalitarian. So now, employers assume when women become mothers they will be less committed to the job and therefore they're more reluctant to promote them, while men who become fathers will be more committed – so those who want to take parental leave get penalized as not being a good worker. Listen to her discuss how working moms and Lead Dads can reset those expectations and allow a better working environment to come out of the pandemic.
We have a very special show! Host of VH1 Couples Therapy, Family Therapy, author and overall Queen, Dr. Jenn Mann join us! We have a full show of Therapy Thursday. We want to know how do you know if you are in a toxic relationship? What is agoraphobia? How do you forgive your parents for mistakes they made? Plus, is heterophobia real? Yeah we think is crazy! Special guest: Rebecca L. Davis - Associate professor of history at the University of Delaware, writes and teaches about the histories of sexuality, gender, religion, and American culture. She is a producer of the 'Sexing History' podcast, and a research fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families.
Families used to split up over inheritance and duty – and today the reasons also include boundaries, personal growth and happiness. Joshua Coleman is a psychologist and senior fellow at the Council on Contemporary Families, and he joins host Krys Boyd to talk about why parent-child bonds are easily severed in a modern family setting. His article “A Shift in American Family Values Is Fueling Estrangement” was published in The Atlantic.
Today, Voddie Baucham and Russell Moore pay us a visit to explain how to talk to your LGBTQ neighbours. And by talk to, they mean "explain to them why they are immoral."Get Surfshark VPN at https://surfshark.deals/rhino - Enter promo code RHINO for83% off and 3 extra months for FREE!Sources:LGBTQ 101: https://bit.ly/3mPMI9DPrejudice, Social Stress, and Mental Health in Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Populations: Conceptual Issues and Research Evidence: https://bit.ly/3ACz8vaThe Health Effects Of Legalizing Same-Sex Marriage: https://bit.ly/3v6c46WThe impact of stress on body function: A review: https://bit.ly/3avXZGuThe Slow March Toward the First Same-Sex Couple to Have a Baby: https://bit.ly/2YSv4KDNC Lawmakers, Noting Their Own Hypocrisy, Don't Want to Ban Child Marriage: https://bit.ly/3iYlE795 Things You Should Know about Child Marriage and The Law In the United States: https://bit.ly/30pkfjFAre Same-Sex or Heterosexual Relationships More Stable?: https://bit.ly/2YLoEgqObserving Gay, Lesbian and Heterosexual Couples' Relationships: Mathematical Modeling of Conflict Interaction: https://bit.ly/3iZ4d6hOpinion | Stop pitting security and compassion against each other in the Syrian refugee crisis: https://wapo.st/3APpqpHEvangelicals Have Higher-than-average Divorce Rates, According to a Report Compiled by Baylor for the Council on Contemporary Families: https://bit.ly/30ezkEqOriginal Video: https://bit.ly/30ntHEbAll my various links can be found here:http://links.vicedrhino.com
Ashton Applewhite - she/her author • speaker • activist This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism TED talk: Let's End Ageism thischairrocks.com oldschool,info yoisthisageist.com facebook.com/ThisChairRocks @thischairrocks About Ashton Applewhite I didn't set out to become a writer. I went into publishing because I loved to read and didn't have any better ideas. I had a weakness for the kind of jokes that make you cringe and guffaw at the same time. My boss insisted I write them down, which turned into the 1982 best-selling book, Truly Tasteless Jokes, writing as "Blanche Knott." As Blanche, I made publishing history by occupying four of the 15 spots on the New York Times bestseller list. My first serious book, Cutting Loose: Why Women Who End Their Marriages Do So Well, was published by HarperCollins in 1997. Ms. magazine called it "rocket fuel for launching new lives." It landed me on Phyllis Schlafly's Eagle Forum enemies list and an invite to join the board of the nascent Council on Contemporary Families, a group of distinguished family scholars. The catalyst for Cutting Loose was puzzlement: why was our notion of women's lives after divorce (visualize depressed dame on barstool) so different from the happy and energized reality? A similar question gave rise to This Chair Rocks: "Why is our view of late life so unrelievedly grim when the lived reality is so different? I began blogging about aging and ageism in 2007. Since that time, I have been recognized by the New York Times, National Public Radio, and the American Society on Aging as an expert on ageism. Currently, I blog at This Chair Rocks, speak widely and am the voice of Yo, Is This Ageist?. I've written for Harper's, Playboy, and many other publications. I have also been on staff at the American Museum of Natural History since 2000, where I write about everything under the sun. In 2015, I was honored to be included in Salt Magazine's list of the world's 100 most inspiring women--along with Angelina Jolie, Elizabeth Warren, Amal Clooney, Aung San Suu Kyi, Naomi Klein, and other remarkable activists--committed to social change.
Love is what most people are looking for in a spouse or life partner. But this hour, we take a look at marriage, an institution that for much of history had very little to do with love at all. We also talk about the right to end a marriage by divorce. And we want to hear from you, too. Join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter. GUESTS: Stephanie Coontz - Author of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, and Director of Research and Public Education for the non profit group, Council on Contemporary Families; she also teaches history and family studies at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington (@StephanieCoontz) Meghan Freed - Managing attorney at Freed Marcroft, a Connecticut divorce and family law firm (@MeghanFreed) Cat Pastor contributed to this show, which originally aired February 13, 2020. Support the show: http://wnpr.org/donate See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Love is what most people are looking for in a spouse or life partner. But this hour, we take a look at marriage, an institution that for much of history had very little to do with love at all. We also talk about the right to end a marriage by divorce. And we want to hear from you, too. Join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter. GUESTS: Stephanie Coontz - Author of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, and Director of Research and Public Education for the non profit group, Council on Contemporary Families; she also teaches history and family studies at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington (@StephanieCoontz) Meghan Freed - Managing attorney at Freed Marcroft, a Connecticut divorce and family law firm (@MeghanFreed) Cat Pastor contributed to this show, which originally aired February 13, 2020. Support the show: http://wnpr.org/donate See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Families used to split up over inheritance and duty – and today the reasons also include boundaries, personal growth and happiness. Joshua Coleman is a psychologist and senior fellow at the Council on Contemporary Families, and he joins host Krys Boyd to talk about why parent-child bonds are easily severed in a modern family setting. His article “A Shift in American Family Values Is Fueling Estrangement” was published in The Atlantic.
One of the most painful parts of divorce is when your child cuts off communication following your divorce. Fathers are at a much greater risk of alienation than mothers (nearly twice as much) for a variety of reasons - bias in the family court systems, verbal attacks by the ex-spouse, and others. Both Dr. John and Dr. Coleman have experienced alienation personally. Make use of their experiences to ensure this does not happen to you. In this episode, discover… - What the signs of parental alienation are. - How alienation begins. - How to tell if the other parent is ‘poisoning’ the mind of your child during divorce. - How to prevent the loss of relationship with your child during divorce. - How to handle lies coming from the other parent. - How to move on if the relationship with our child is severed and that is out of our hands. - Best ways to heal the relationship with the alienated individual. - How to make amends with your adult child. About Dr. John’s Guest: Joshua Coleman, PhD, is a psychologist in private practice and Senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families. A frequent guest on NPR and Today, his advice has also appeared in The New York Times, The Atlantic, the Wall Street Journal, CNN, Chicago Tribune and other publications. His latest book is entitled RULES OF ESTRANGEMENT: WHY ADULT CHILDREN CUT TIES AND HOW TO HEAL THE CONFLICT and will be available on Amazon.com as of March 2, 2021. You can also get a free gift by preordering the book at drjoshuacoleman.com. It is a guide for parents whose adult children have cut off contact that reveals the hidden logic of estrangement, explores its cultural causes, and offers practical advice for parents trying to reestablish contact with their adult children. Labeled a silent epidemic by a growing number of therapists and researchers, estrangement is one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent’s life. Popular opinion typically tells a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children who wrongly blame their parents. However, the reasons for estrangement are far more complex and varied. As a result of rising rates of individualism, an increasing cultural emphasis on happiness, growing economic insecurity, and a recent perception that parents are obstacles to personal growth, many parents find themselves forever shut out of the lives of their adult children and grandchildren. As a trusted psychologist whose own daughter cut off contact for several years and eventually reconciled, Dr. Joshua Coleman is uniquely qualified to guide parents in navigating these fraught interactions. Important Free Resource: Dr. Coleman does a free Q&A session online every Monday at 11:30 am pst. You can find out more at his site drjoshuacoleman.com. If you like what you've heard, support us by subscribing, leaving reviews on Apple podcasts. Every review helps to get the message out! Please share the podcast with friends and colleagues. Follow Dr. John Schinnerer on | Instagram | Instagram.com/@TheEvolvedCaveman | Facebook | Facebook.com/Anger.Management.Expert | Twitter | Twitter.com/@JohnSchin | LinkedIn | Linkedin.com/in/DrJohnSchinnerer Or join the email list by visiting: GuideToSelf.com Please visit our YouTube channel and remember to Like & Subscribe! https://www.youtube.com/user/jschinnerer Editing/Mixing/Mastering by: Brian Donat of B/Line Studios www.BLineStudios.com Music by: Zak Gay http://otonamimusic.com/
FEATURED GUESTSShai AkabasShai Akabas is BPC’s director of economic policy. He has conducted research on a variety of economic policy issues, including the federal budget, retirement security, and the financing of higher education. Akabas joined BPC in 2010 and staffed the Domenici-Rivlin Debt Reduction Task Force that year. He also assisted Jerome H. Powell, now Chairman of the Federal Reserve, in his work on the federal debt limit. For the past several years, Akabas has steered BPC’s Commission on Retirement Security and Personal Savings, co-chaired by former Senator Kent Conrad and the Honorable James B. Lockhart III.Akabas has been interviewed by publications including The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The Wall Street Journal, and has published op-eds in The Hill and The Christian Science Monitor. He has been featured as an expert guest several times on C-SPAN’s Washington Journal.Prior to joining BPC, Akabas worked as a satellite office director on New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s 2009 campaign for reelection. Born and raised in New York City, he received his B.A. in economics and history from Cornell University and an M.S. in applied economics from Georgetown University.Jennifer GlassJennifer Glass is the Centennial Commission Professor of Liberal Arts in the Department of Sociology and the Population Research Center of the University of Texas, Austin. She has published over 60 articles and books on work and family issues, gender stratification in the labor force, mother’s employment and mental health, and religious conservatism and women’s economic attainment, with funding from the National Science Foundation, the National Institutes of Health, and the Alfred P. Sloan Foundation. She received the Jessie Bernard Award in 2020 from the American Sociological Association, the Harriet Presser Award in 2019 from the Population Association of America, the 2016 Best Publication Award from the Family Section of the American Sociological Association, the Reuben Hill Award from the National Council on Family Relations in 1986, and has thrice been nominated for the Rosabeth Moss Kanter Award for Excellence in Work-Family Research. Her work has appeared in the Monthly Labor Review, American Sociological Review, Demography, Journal of Marriage and the Family, Journal of Health and Social Behavior, and Social Forces, among others. She is currently the Executive Director of the Council on Contemporary Families, and past Chair of the Social Sciences and Population (B) Study Section at the National Institutes of Health. Ira KalishDr. Kalish is the Chief Global Economist of Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu Ltd. He is a specialist in global economic issues as well as the effects of economic, demographic, and social trends on the global business environment. He advises Deloitte clients as well as Deloitte’s leadership on economic issues and their impact on business strategy. In addition, he has given numerous presentations to corporations and trade organizations on topics related to the global economy. He is widely traveled and has given presentations in 47 countries on six continents. He has been quoted by the Wall Street Journal, The Economist, and The Financial Times. Dr. Kalish holds a bachelor’s degree in economics from Vassar College and a PhD in international economics from Johns Hopkins University.Nate WongNate Wong leads the day-to-day operations of the Beeck Center for Social Impact + Innovationat Georgetown University that seeks to scout, surface, and scale promising ecosystem-centered solutions in the impact space. The Center works directly with leading practitioners and students around its two main portfolios centered around making finance more equitable and improving how governments use the tools of data and digital to deliver better services to its residents. Prior to coming to the Center in 2018, Nate helped launch and direct two social impact units at Deloitte Consulting and more recently at Boston Consulting Group’s non-profit, the Centre for Public Impact in the US. He has worked in over 10 different countries, helping partners maximize their social impact. Nate has worked on issues around economic development/ mobility and inclusive entrepreneurship including stints at Obama Foundation, Acumen, Endeavor, and TechnoServe. Nate has an MBA from the Yale School of Management and a BS in Systems Engineering from the University of Virginia. When not in a pandemic, you can find him exploring the DC food scene, getting lost in a travel book, throwing ceramics, or improving his boxing technique. RELATED RESOURCES“Taking Stock of the Market: A Conversation With Kim Parker,” Future Fluency podcast (NACD, Nov. 19, 2020).“Where the Money Meets the Road: A Conversation With Shai Akabas,” Future Fluency podcast (NACD, Jul 23, 2020).“Emerging Workforce Trends: A Conversation With Dr. Jennifer Glass,” Future Fluency podcast (NACD, Aug. 06, 2020)."Flattening the Inequity Curve: A Conversation with Nate Wong," Future Fluency podcast (NACD, Sept. 10, 2020).
From safety concerns about travel to staving off fights about politics once you arrive, there's nothing simple about Thanksgiving in a pandemic. Julia Marcus, infectious disease epidemiologist and associate professor at Harvard Medical School and a contributor to The Atlantic, and Joshua Coleman, senior fellow at the Council on Contemporary Families, psychologist and author of Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict, join for a full hour of advice.
Love is what most people are looking for in a spouse or life partner. But this hour, we take a look at marriage, an institution that for much of history had very little to do with love at all. We also talk about the right to end a marriage by divorce. And we want to hear from you, too. Join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter. GUESTS: Stephanie Coontz - Author of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, and Director of Research and Public Education for the non profit group, Council on Contemporary Families; she also teaches history and family studies at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington (@StephanieCoontz) Meghan Freed - Managing attorney at Freed Marcroft, a Connecticut divorce and family law firm (@MeghanFreed) Cat Pastor contributed to this show, which originally aired February 13, 2020. Support the show: http://wnpr.org/donate See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Love is what most people are looking for in a spouse or life partner. But this hour, we take a look at marriage, an institution that for much of history had very little to do with love at all. We also talk about the right to end a marriage by divorce. And we want to hear from you, too. Join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter. GUESTS: Stephanie Coontz - Author of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, and Director of Research and Public Education for the non profit group, Council on Contemporary Families; she also teaches history and family studies at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington (@StephanieCoontz) Meghan Freed - Managing attorney at Freed Marcroft, a Connecticut divorce and family law firm (@MeghanFreed) Cat Pastor contributed to this show, which originally aired February 13, 2020. Support the show: http://wnpr.org/donate See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
What happens when more than half of all working parents co-work from home? That's the question Yale University's Emma Zang and Thomas Lyttleton set out to answer with their latest research released by the Council on Contemporary Families. In this episode, we dive into the good news (men are taking on more childcare), the bad news (the housekeeping gender gap is widening) and examine findings that show that telecommuting moms are reporting higher levels of stress than those who work outside the home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
With many grown children staying at their parents’ house to quarantine, or help out, old issues of independence, privacy and housekeeping resurface. Joshua Coleman, Senior Fellow at the Council on Contemporary Families and author of many books on family relationships including the forthcoming Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict, tackles some of your 'quarantining with my parents' questions, and talks about how to keep boundaries and stay sane.
Even before the pandemic, men and women were changing their minds about breadwinning — and yet, new studies find that women are still left holding the bag when it comes to homeschooling. Stephanie Coontz, director of research and public education for the Council on Contemporary Families, joins Jennifer to consider the pandemic's impact on family dynamics. Spoiler alert: “Men and women are happier when they are sharing the labor,” says Coontz. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Should parents stay together for the kids? Does child support still take place if both parents are co-parenting amicably? In this episode of Untying the Knots, hosts Dawn and Kristen answer questions like these and unpack some of the most common, and often destructive, myths about family. They speak with Director of Research and Public Education for the Council on Contemporary Families, Stephanie Coontz, who (literally) wrote the book on the evolution of the modern family, and gain insight into how social structures created in the 1950s color our expectations still today. Listen to this episode to hear Dawn tell you the good news: your family is not “broken”. For more information, please visit smithfileslaw.com.
On this episode we have Dr. Barbara J. Risman Distinguished Professor at the University of Illinois at Chicago Barbara J. Risman is the author of Families As They Really Are, Gender Vertigo: American Families in Transition and over two dozen journal articles in venues including American Sociological Review, Gender & Society, and Journal of Marriage and the Family. She has been editor of the journal Contemporary Sociology. She has been Co-Chair and Executive Officer of The Council on Contemporary Families, Past President (2015-2016) of the Southern Sociological Society and has previously served as the Vice-President of the American Sociological Association. Barbara Risman has blogged for Huffington Post and wrote op-eds on cnn.com and the Chicago Tribune. Risman has a regular column on PsychologyToday.com titled “Gender Matters". In 2005, Dr. Risman was honored with the Katherine Jocher Belle Boone Award from the Southern Sociological Society for lifetime contributions to the study of gender. She was also named as the 2003 Feminist Lecturer by the Sociologists for Women in Society. In 2011, Dr. Risman was honored with the American Sociological Association’s Award for the Public Understanding of Sociology. Most recently, she was awarded the "100 Women that Mattered" at North Carolina State University. Her new Book entitled “Where the Millennials Will Take Us: A New Generation Wrestles with the Gender Structure” Risman analyzes life history interviews with Chicagoland Millennials. With a sample both gender diverse, and majority minority, this book provides a unique insight into today’s young adults. Follow her work at http://www.barbararisman.com --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Love is what most people are looking for in a spouse or life partner. But this hour, we take a look at marriage, an institution that for much of history had very little to do with love at all. We also talk about the right to end a marriage by divorce. And we want to hear from you, too. Join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter. GUESTS: Stephanie Coontz - Author of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, and Director of Research and Public Education for the non profit group, Council on Contemporary Families; she also teaches history and family studies at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington (@StephanieCoontz) Meghan Freed - Managing attorney at Freed Marcroft, a Connecticut divorce and family law firm (@MeghanFreed) Cat Pastor contributed to this show, which originally aired February 13, 2020.Support the show: http://wnpr.org/donateSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In this week’s conversation with Stephanie Coontz, we discuss the history of marriage, its social and political significance, and the changing paradigm in the modern world. We learn about the factors surrounding marital and sexual satisfaction, the importance of egalitarianism, and the lessons to be learned from single people and same-sex couples. Lastly, we speak to the importance of cultivating a sense of community and trust through casual connections and small interactions—particularly in today’s perpetually disconnected world—and the ways in which putting more energy into interactions with friends, coworkers, and even strangers can actually help strengthen our romantic partnerships. Stephanie Coontz is the author of five books on gender, family, and history, including Marriage, A History: How Love Conquered Marriage, which was cited in the US Supreme Court decision on marriage equality. She is a Director for the Council on Contemporary Families, as well as emeritus faculty of History and Family Studies at The Evergreen State College in Washington.
In this week’s conversation with Stephanie Coontz, we discuss the history of marriage, its social and political significance, and the changing paradigm in the modern world. We learn about the factors surrounding marital and sexual satisfaction, the importance of egalitarianism, and the lessons to be learned from single people and same-sex couples. Lastly, we speak to the importance of cultivating a sense of community and trust through casual connections and small interactions—particularly in today’s perpetually disconnected world—and the ways in which putting more energy into interactions with friends, coworkers, and even strangers can actually help strengthen our romantic partnerships. Stephanie Coontz is the author of five books on gender, family, and history, including Marriage, A History: How Love Conquered Marriage, which was cited in the US Supreme Court decision on marriage equality. She is a Director for the Council on Contemporary Families, as well as emeritus faculty of History and Family Studies at The Evergreen State College in Washington.
Valentine's Day is around the corner, which means it’s the season for chocolates and cheesy Hallmark cards. Love is what most people are looking for in a spouse or life partner. But this hour, we take a look at marriage, an institution that for much of history had very little to do with love at all. We also talk about the right to end a marriage by divorce. And we want to hear from you, too. GUESTS: Stephanie Coontz - Author of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, and Director of Research and Public Education for the non profit group, Council on Contemporary Families; she also teaches history and family studies at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington (@StephanieCoontz) Meghan Freed - Managing attorney at Freed Marcroft, a Connecticut divorce and family law firm (@MeghanFreed) Support the show: http://wnpr.org/donateSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In this episode Mark Groves is joined by Stephanie Coontz, researcher, academic and author of seven books on marriage and family. They explore topics ranging from traditions, gender roles, the evolution of relationships in history and the more recent impacts of technology on relationships. Stephanie Coontz teaches history and family studies at The Evergreen State College in Olympia, WA and is Director of Research and Public Education at the Council on Contemporary Families. She has authored seven books on marriage and family life, including A Strange Stirring: ‘The Feminine Mystique’ and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960s, The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap. Coontz is a frequent guest columnist for the New York Times and CNN.com. Selected articles and tv appearances can be found at www.stephaniecoontz.com Highlights 3m30sec: The history of marriage - what was it’s purpose? 8min: The difference between love, relationships and marriage, what is the role of coercion? 20m40sec: What is the history of monogamy and polygamy? 28min: The changing perspectives of being single, partnered, married and what is the role of gender here? 35min: The role of tradition and gender, how does it impact on the happiness of a relationship? How egalitarian are couples and how does this impact on happiness? 42min: Women having the courage to speak out and the #MeToo movement, how the times have changed. 45min: How has technology changed relationships and marriages?
Over the last 40 years, marriage has evolved from an institution based on strict gender roles and specialization to a connection based on friendship and shared interests. Our expectations of marriage have shifted as well, the standards for intimacy rising along with the need to negotiate shared responsibilities. So, how can couples best navigate these new rules? And how does this transition impact societal attitudes toward divorce? Stephanie Coontz is an author and educator in the field of marriage and gender relationships. She teaches history and family studies at The Evergreen State College and serves as Director of the Council on Contemporary Families (CCF). Stephanie has written seven books and published dozens of articles in scholarly journals and popular media, including The New York Times and the Journal of Marriage and Family, among many other publications. She has been honored with The Families & Work Institute’s Work-Life Legacy Award and CCF’s Visionary Leadership Award. Today, Stephanie joins Katherine to discuss how marriage has evolved over time, explaining the shift from strict gender roles to a bond based on friendship. She describes how couples who share responsibilities of breadwinning, childcare and housework report higher levels of satisfaction and addresses the ways in which old attitudes undermine modern marriages. Stephanie also speaks to the importance of negotiation, gratitude and respect for each other’s bids for connection. Listen in to understand how the feminist movement disrupted the institution of marriage and learn how our rising standards have changed the factors that make a marriage last. Topics Covered How marriage has evolved from specialization to sharing The way old attitudes undermine modern marriages How sharing responsibilities leads to higher satisfaction How to consider what’s attracting you to your partner The role of bids for connection as a predictor of stability Why modern marriage requires much more negotiation How the feminist movement served as a disruptor How our expectations for intimacy have shifted The destructive nature of holding onto traditional views The idea of gatekeeping in household/childcare duties Why the way we fight with our partners is important Stephanie’s insight around the economy of gratitude Why attitudes toward divorce do NOT predict behavior Connect with Stephanie Coontz Stephanie’s Website: https://www.stephaniecoontz.com/ Council on Contemporary Families: https://contemporaryfamilies.org/ Resources Philip & Carolyn Cowan’s Research: https://contemporaryfamilies.org/experts/philip-cowan-phd/ Dr. John Gottman: https://www.gottman.com/ Connect with Katherine Miller The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/ Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/ Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1 The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246 Email: katherine@westchesterfamilylaw.com Call (914) 738-7765
According to a study by the Council of Contemporary Families, the battle over dirty dishes is one of the top sources of tension in a marriage. The women in the study claimed that their husband's lack of volunteering to help out with this particular chore was cause for dishaster! However, doing the dishes together with their husbands was satisfying for women than sharing any other household task. You would think that all this argy-bargy or fighting over dish dodging would be a thing of the past since the advent of the dishwasher, but apparently, this modern appliance has only created a whole new set of things for couples to fuss at each other about. Dishwasher Chess is a game where the husband places dirty dishes in the dishwasher, and then the wife comes along and rearranges all of them. What do you call the water that collects in the indentation of an upside-down glass in the dishwasher? Mugpuddle!
I was really excited to talk to Kristi Williams. Kristi is super cool and she has a super cool husband and a super cool kid. I’m friends with her on Facebook, and I feel like I know her, but I really don’t. Kristi is married to Marc who was friends with my wife, Jen, first. I know Marc pretty well, but I think I had only spoken to Kristi at her wedding, many years ago. Until now anyways. Kristi, or should I say Dr. Williams, is a real-life family demographer, medical sociologist and college professor. She’s responsible for papers and studies with titles like “Promoting marriage among single mothers: An ineffective weapon in the war on poverty?” and “You Make Me Sick: Marital Quality and Health Over the Life Course.” I love this kind of stuff and am so impressed by the academics who do it. She’s also a Senior Scholar at the Council on Contemporary Families, , and Editor of Journal of Marriage and Family. It was a pleasure to chat with her. Note: She mentions this book during the conversation: Glass House: The 1% Economy and the Shattering of the All-American Town
Peggy Orenstein is the author of The New York Times best-sellers Girls & Sex, Cinderella Ate My Daughter and Waiting for Daisy as well as Flux: Women on Sex, Work, Kids, Love and Life in a Half-Changed World and the classic, School Girls: Young Women, Self-Esteem and the Confidence Gap. A contributing writer for The New York Times Magazine, Peggy has also written for such publications as The Los Angeles Times, Vogue, Elle, Time, Mother Jones, Slate, O: The Oprah Magazine, and The New Yorker, and has contributed commentaries to NPR’s All Things Considered and the PBS Newshour Her articles have been anthologized multiple times, including in The Best American Science Writing. She has been a keynote speaker at numerous colleges and conferences and has been featured on, among other programs, Nightline, CBS This Morning, The Today Show, NPR’s Fresh Air and Morning Edition and CBC’s As It Happens. In 2012, The Columbia Journalism Review named Peggy one of its “40 women who changed the media business in the past 40 years.” She has been recognized for her Outstanding Coverage of Family Diversity, by the Council on Contemporary Families and received a Books For A Better Life Award for Waiting for Daisy. Her work has also been honored by the Commonwealth Club of California, the National Women’s Political Caucus of California and Planned Parenthood Federation of America. Additionally, she has been awarded fellowships from the United States-Japan Foundation and the Asian Cultural Council. - See more at: http://kboo.fm/media/56419-girls-and-sex-interview-peggy-orenstein#sthash.Lw8U4ooH.dpuf
Stephanie Coontz is an award-winning social historian, the director of Research and Public Education at the Council for Contemporary Families and teaches history and family studies at The Evergreen College in Olympia, Washington. In A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960s (Basic Books, 2014), Coontz reveals why so many women in the early 1960s found Betty Friedan's book The Feminine Mystique (1963) speaking to them personally. Freidan identified an unnamed problem allowing women to see the self-doubt and depression they suffered as no longer a personal issue, but a social one. Coontz's work is both a social history of women at mid-century and a reception history of Friedan's book: A book regarded as one of the most influential in the twentieth century and a catalyst for the 1960s women's movement. Coontz's narrative provides a vivid picture of the realities and the contraction in the post-war lives of many women. She also critically examines Friedan and responds to the charge that the Feminine Mystique was too white and middle class. Including the voices of minority and working class women's response to the book, Coontz provides a fresh way for understand Friedan's legacy. This is not a story only trying to make sense of the past, but shows how the feminine mystique in new guises continues to reproduce itself in contemporary society. Consumerism, the search for meaningful work, and equity between men and women both a home and at work, are enduring issues we all continue to contend with. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Stephanie Coontz is an award-winning social historian, the director of Research and Public Education at the Council for Contemporary Families and teaches history and family studies at The Evergreen College in Olympia, Washington. In A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960s (Basic Books, 2014), Coontz reveals why so many women in the early 1960s found Betty Friedan’s book The Feminine Mystique (1963) speaking to them personally. Freidan identified an unnamed problem allowing women to see the self-doubt and depression they suffered as no longer a personal issue, but a social one. Coontz’s work is both a social history of women at mid-century and a reception history of Friedan’s book: A book regarded as one of the most influential in the twentieth century and a catalyst for the 1960s women’s movement. Coontz’s narrative provides a vivid picture of the realities and the contraction in the post-war lives of many women. She also critically examines Friedan and responds to the charge that the Feminine Mystique was too white and middle class. Including the voices of minority and working class women’s response to the book, Coontz provides a fresh way for understand Friedan’s legacy. This is not a story only trying to make sense of the past, but shows how the feminine mystique in new guises continues to reproduce itself in contemporary society. Consumerism, the search for meaningful work, and equity between men and women both a home and at work, are enduring issues we all continue to contend with. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Stephanie Coontz is an award-winning social historian, the director of Research and Public Education at the Council for Contemporary Families and teaches history and family studies at The Evergreen College in Olympia, Washington. In A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960s (Basic Books, 2014), Coontz reveals why so many women in the early 1960s found Betty Friedan’s book The Feminine Mystique (1963) speaking to them personally. Freidan identified an unnamed problem allowing women to see the self-doubt and depression they suffered as no longer a personal issue, but a social one. Coontz’s work is both a social history of women at mid-century and a reception history of Friedan’s book: A book regarded as one of the most influential in the twentieth century and a catalyst for the 1960s women’s movement. Coontz’s narrative provides a vivid picture of the realities and the contraction in the post-war lives of many women. She also critically examines Friedan and responds to the charge that the Feminine Mystique was too white and middle class. Including the voices of minority and working class women’s response to the book, Coontz provides a fresh way for understand Friedan’s legacy. This is not a story only trying to make sense of the past, but shows how the feminine mystique in new guises continues to reproduce itself in contemporary society. Consumerism, the search for meaningful work, and equity between men and women both a home and at work, are enduring issues we all continue to contend with. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Stephanie Coontz is an award-winning social historian, the director of Research and Public Education at the Council for Contemporary Families and teaches history and family studies at The Evergreen College in Olympia, Washington. In A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960s (Basic Books, 2014), Coontz reveals why so many women in the early 1960s found Betty Friedan’s book The Feminine Mystique (1963) speaking to them personally. Freidan identified an unnamed problem allowing women to see the self-doubt and depression they suffered as no longer a personal issue, but a social one. Coontz’s work is both a social history of women at mid-century and a reception history of Friedan’s book: A book regarded as one of the most influential in the twentieth century and a catalyst for the 1960s women’s movement. Coontz’s narrative provides a vivid picture of the realities and the contraction in the post-war lives of many women. She also critically examines Friedan and responds to the charge that the Feminine Mystique was too white and middle class. Including the voices of minority and working class women’s response to the book, Coontz provides a fresh way for understand Friedan’s legacy. This is not a story only trying to make sense of the past, but shows how the feminine mystique in new guises continues to reproduce itself in contemporary society. Consumerism, the search for meaningful work, and equity between men and women both a home and at work, are enduring issues we all continue to contend with. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Stephanie Coontz is an award-winning social historian, the director of Research and Public Education at the Council for Contemporary Families and teaches history and family studies at The Evergreen College in Olympia, Washington. In A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960s (Basic Books, 2014), Coontz reveals why so many women in the early 1960s found Betty Friedan’s book The Feminine Mystique (1963) speaking to them personally. Freidan identified an unnamed problem allowing women to see the self-doubt and depression they suffered as no longer a personal issue, but a social one. Coontz’s work is both a social history of women at mid-century and a reception history of Friedan’s book: A book regarded as one of the most influential in the twentieth century and a catalyst for the 1960s women’s movement. Coontz’s narrative provides a vivid picture of the realities and the contraction in the post-war lives of many women. She also critically examines Friedan and responds to the charge that the Feminine Mystique was too white and middle class. Including the voices of minority and working class women’s response to the book, Coontz provides a fresh way for understand Friedan’s legacy. This is not a story only trying to make sense of the past, but shows how the feminine mystique in new guises continues to reproduce itself in contemporary society. Consumerism, the search for meaningful work, and equity between men and women both a home and at work, are enduring issues we all continue to contend with. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Is marriage becoming obsolete? By Stephanie Coontz, Special to CNN Editor's note: Stephanie Coontz teaches history and family studies at The Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington, and is director of research and public education at the Council on Contemporary Families. Her latest book, "A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960s," will be published in January by Basic Books. (CNN) -- According to a TIME/Pew research poll released last week, 40 percent of Americans believe that marriage is becoming obsolete, up from just 28 percent in 1978. In that same poll, only one in four unmarried Americans say they do not want to get married. And among currently married men and women, 80 percent say their marriage is as close as or closer than their parents' marriage. These seemingly contradictory responses reflect the public's recognition of a new and complex reality. On the one hand, marriage as a voluntary relationship based on love and commitment is held in higher regard than ever, with more people saying that love is essential to marriage (Consider that in 1967, two-thirds of college women said they'd consider marrying a man they didn't love if he met other criteria, such as offering respectability and financial security.) But as an institution that regulates people's lives, marriage is no longer the social and economic necessity it once was. People can construct successful lives outside marriage in ways that would have been very difficult to manage 50 years ago, and they have a far greater range of choices about whether to marry, when to marry, and how to organize their marriages. This often makes them more cautious in committing to marriage and more picky about their partners than people were in the past. In the 1950s, when half of all American women were already married in their teens, marriage was an almost mandatory first step toward adulthood. It was considered the best way to make a man grow up, and in an economy where steady jobs and rising real wages were widely available, that often worked. For a woman, marriage was deemed the best investment she could make in her future, and in a world where even college-educated women earned less than men with a only a high school education, that often worked for her too. Marriage was also supposed to be the only context in which people could regularly have sex or raise children. Divorced or unmarried men were routinely judged less qualified for bank loans or job promotions, sexually active single women were stigmatized, and out-of-wedlock children had few legal rights. Today, however, there are plenty of other ways to grow up, seek financial independence, and meet one's needs for companionship and sex. So what might have seemed a "good enough" reason to enter marriage in the past no longer seems sufficient to many people. Marriage has become another step, perhaps even the final rather than the first step, in the transition to adulthood -- something many people will not even consider until they are very sure they are capable of taking their relationship to a higher plane. Couples increasingly want to be certain, before they marry, that they can pay their bills, that neither party is burdened by debt, that each has a secure job or a set of skills attesting to their employability. Many are also conscious that as rigid gender roles erode, marriage demands more negotiation and relationship skills than in the past. They often want firsthand experience with how their partner will behave in an intimate relationship, which is why the majority of new marriages come after a period of cohabitation, according to census figures. These higher expectations are good news for many marriages. People who can meet the high bar that most Americans now feel is appropriate for the transition to marriage -- people who delay marriage to get an education, who have accumulated a nest egg or established themselves in a secure line of work -- typically have higher quality marriages than other Americans, research shows, and their divorce rates have been falling for the past 25 years. But these higher expectations pose difficulties for individuals with fewer interpersonal and material resources. Over the past 30 years, job opportunities and real wages have declined substantially for poorly educated men, making them less attractive marriage partners for women. When such men do find stable employment, they often tend to be more interested in a woman with good earnings prospects than someone they have to rescue from poverty. Today, several studies have shown, economic instability is now more closely associated with marital distress than it used to be. If a low-income woman finds a stable, employed partner, she will likely be better off by marrying. But if the man she marries loses his job or is less committed and responsible than she had hoped, she may end up worse off than before -- having to support a man who can't or won't pull his own weight. So the widening economic gap between haves and have-nots that America has experienced in recent decades is increasingly reflected in a widening marriage gap as well. Today two-thirds of people with a college degree are married, compared with less than half of those with a high school degree or less. Those who begin married life with the most emotional and material advantages reap the greatest gains in those same areas from marriage. The very people who would benefit most from having a reliable long-term partner are the ones least likely to be able to find such a partner or sustain such a relationship. This is a troubling trend that deserves attention from policy-makers. But the problem does not lie in a lack of family values. The poor value marriage just as highly as anyone else, and they may value children even more. Unfortunately, they are now less and less likely to believe they will be able to live up to the high expectations of modern partnerships, even if they are in love. There is no easy fix for this problem. But the good news is that families still matter to Americans, including those who are not married. According to the Pew poll, 76 percent of Americans say family is the most important, meaningful part of their life. Seventy-five percent say they are "very satisfied" with their family life. And 85 percent say that the family they live in today, whatever its form, is as close as or closer than the family in which they grew up. We have a lot of challenges ahead of us, but that's comforting news. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Stephanie Coontz.
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