Podcasts about porn addiction recovery

Send us Fan MailOn-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreHuman beings have a life cycle. Each stage is marked by subtle adjustments to cope with the social, economical, cultural and sometimes, chronic stressors of the stage. Here is just one version of Life Stage age grouping categories. There are variants. Let us look at one version. Each stage looking at the different phases of life: Infant (Birth- 2 years): Changes in schedules – bedtime, routine etc., strangers and chaos can cause anxiety during this phase.Child (3-9 years): Separation anxiety can be seen as the children start going to school. Social skills and peer relationships are developed during this stage.Adolescent (10-19 years): Peer pressure, romantic relationships and independent identity are common changes during puberty. These may bring about strong emotional reactions and behavioural risks.Young adult (20-29 years): Beginning college, taking up a job, starting a family and buying a house are some of the significant events during this stage and may demand moving out of your comfort zone.Adult (30-39 years): Managing family and career growth along with increased responsibilities may lead to stress.Middle age (40-60 years): First signs of aging and effects of lifestyle, menopause in women, children leaving the house, grandchildren arriving, career peak – all these things may all take a toll on a person's mental and physical health.Independent old age (Age 60 onward): More signs of aging and lifestyle effects. Retirement, health problems and medications may cause a strain on a person in this stage.Dependent old age (Optional stage): The feeling of being dependent and requiring assistance may disturb a person and may reduce their ability to enjoy life.End of Life: This is the time when a person realizes that he/she has come close to the end and may require a lot of pep talk and love and care.Why are these stages of interest? Life Stages are NOT Mid-life crises, as some like to call them. Often said in a negative or derogatory way. Each stage has its own issues that may need help to negotiate through. But what if a partner is going through Life Stage changes in different ways and at different points in life? That is a recipe for much conflict and can feel like that partner is 'moving the goal posts' by doing behaviours outside of the norm in the relationship.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Bringing colour back to life - without Shame.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior,Support the show

Send us Fan MailOn-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreLet's check that we are on the same page as we have a discussion about 'Values'. I am speaking about such things as being able to be Creative, have Integrity, Fitness, Security, Faith, Self Confidence, Wealth, Winning, Honesty and many more.In the cool light of day, we would never purposely/consciously/intentionally trash our Values. They are a part of us and how we do life, want to do life and choose to do life on planet earth.Our Values define us; define who we are; represent who we are; shape who we are. How dare you invite me to just flippantly get rid of one of my Values; destruct, destroy - trash my Values. Why on earth would anyone do that?So, my question is - when Sex/Porn addiction triggers arise and you 'Act out', is the fact of Acting out, an indication that you have just Trashed all of you Values?Can you see patterns of activities and behaviours which show you undermining those dearly held Values, which in other situations, you would and could never undermine or trash your Values. Look how you undermine and trash your Values when emotions - such as conflict with a partner - gets the better of you; also when 'Acting out' beckons. Neural Pathway repetitive hamster wheel patterns of behaviours (from past learned and even inherited scripts from family) may be at work repeatedly, but you did not notice, analyse or give credence to what you were doing? You were actually trashing and undermining your strongly held Values.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Bringing colour back to life - without Shame.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior,Support the show

Send us Fan MailOn-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreIt is worth listening again to the first part of this topic (in a recent past episode) - entitled: Sex Addict - "I am not a Passive-Aggressive by my behaviours!" - This is a continuation of that topic talking about Core Emotional Needs. This is part 2 of how Passive-Aggressive behaviours can show up - as a way of trying to get Core Emotional Needs met.Do you know what are your top 3 most important Core Emotional Needs? Do you FIGHT like this? Do you FLIGHT like this? Do you Freeze like this? - but it is all about repeatedly practised behaviours as a attempt to get depleted Core Emotional Needs met. Some of them are: Approval, Acceptance, Support, Security, Comfort, Respect - amongst others.When Core motional Needs are depleted and at reserve levels, as human beings, we will do one of three things to try to get them met, since they are not negotiable. Critical levels will see us doing Fight, Flight and/or Freeze. Which one of those three do you think that you predominantly use? It may not actually be the obvious one that you first think you do. Listen to the two parts of this podcast and the examples of fight, flight , freeze which I demonstrate.Over 90% of the couples in conflict that we see in The Kairos Centre, have, at the root of their conflict - fight, flight, freeze - as they try to get their Core Emotional Needs met. Often, it will take the form of Passive-Aggressive behaviours. (This is a big deal which needs to be understood well).Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Bringing colour back to life - without Shame.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior,Support the show

Send us Fan MailOn-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreGrab your popcorn, peanuts and a drink, this is a long episode. It is a bonus episode, bringing it all together in one episode.I was interviewed by Seen&heard (an organisation supporting those traumatised by boarding school attendance) - for whom I am one of their Directory of experienced Therapists working with those different Traumas.In this very personal and up close interview of me and my journey through childhood, adulthood and life, I look at various issues, including Insecure Attachment and its significant impact on me; transitioning from being the Solicitor, career changing to become the Therapist; title 't' Traumas & big 'T' Traumas.Intergenerational scripts from past family which adversely impacts us and sets up subsequent family members towards a trajectory; training to counsel Singles, Couples, Partners, Marrieds; me becoming a Psychosexual/Sex Therapist; then a specialist trained Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Therapist - where each of those Addictions are quite distinct from each other; specialist support for impacted partners - separate from the Addict - (particularly female partners traumatised by learning about the Sex/Porn/Love Addiction); Co-addictions and what is waiting in the wings when you try to get rid of Porn or Sex Addiction.Eye Movement Desensitisation Repossessing (EMDR); SHAME+ NARCISSISM = SEX/PORN ADDICTION; need for a 12 Steps Support Group; need to Diagnose the childhood development issues first - before a Recovery Programme; my Diagnostic sessions & the world's first Video-on-Demand (pre-recorded videos with workbooks) Recovery Programme; what is 'Love Addiction'.It is not weakness to need help from others at some point in our lives; it may be counselling for mental health issues. Compulsions get passed on to the next generation - the children; becoming sensitised to partner's body; Therapy with The Kairos Centre is about moving as much insights from the Unconscious into the Conscious.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Bringing colour back to life - without Shame.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior,Support the show

Send us Fan MailOn-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is passive-aggressive behaviour? Do you fight like this? Passive-aggressive behaviour is when you express negative feelings indirectly instead of openly talking about them. It is a defence used to protect self. It might stem from early experiences and has become a way to protect self. It might also include feelings of rejection, fear, mistrust, insecurity and/or low self-esteem. It is often vindictive and a way of doing "fight' with someone.It is a way of expressing negative feelings, rather than talking openly about the issue which as caused upset. It is a way to communicate anger and other forms of distress, without openly acknowledging the emotions. It might take the form of action or inaction. An example might be, the person who attends an event (unwillingly), then is rude or hostile. Alternatively, it might be that they avoid the event and give a partner the “silent treatment.” That is overt aggression, adopted as a communication style, as revenge for an upset caused to them.Someone who uses passive aggression may feel angry, resentful, or frustrated, but they act neutral, pleasant, or even cheerful. They then find indirect ways to show how they really feel. They might say one thing, but do something quite contrary. They may do the thing they do not want to do and brood and complain whilst doing it.They might do something that seems kind (on the surface), but is opposite to the other person's expectation and preference. For example, someone who knows you are trying to lose weight, purposely buys a large sugary birthday cake for you.Passive aggression is a common coping mechanism that many people use from time to time, especially when they want to avoid direct conflict. People who engage in passive aggression may feel just as aggressive or hostile as those who adopt more overt forms of aggression.Anger, frustration, and displeasure are normal emotions. People who rely on passive aggression rather than direct communication to show these emotions often grew up in a family where that behaviour was common. It might not have felt safe for them to directly express their feelings as a child.Passive aggressive behaviour takes many forms but can generally be described as a non-verbal aggression that manifests in negative behavior - like these other examples:Limit/curtail communication: when clearly there is a problematic issue presentAvoiding/Ignoring/evading: because anger won't allow you to address the issue calmly Procrastinating: intentionally putting off something and knowing it will adversely affect the other person(s)Obstructing/deliberately stalling/preventing somethingAvoiding situations: where competition might show you in an unfavourable lightAmbiguity/cryptic/unclear: not fully engagingSulking/silent treatment/sullen/dogmatic: in order to get attention or sympathy.Purposely late: knowing that will offendThwarting/frustrating someone expectation: to be 'bloodyminded'Purposely forgetting key matters: to show a blatant disregard and disrespect Limiting/withholding/avoiding Intimacy: known to be liked by the other personMaking Excuses/coming up with reasons: for not doing thingsVictim role: so as to avoid taking responsibility for own roleGet some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Bringing colour back to life - without Shame.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior,Support the show

Cam Lambert shares how years of hidden pornography addiction eventually led to devastating consequences, public exposure, and hopelessness. But when everything came crashing down, God used brokenness, confession, and Christian community to completely transform his life.This is a powerful testimony about shame, redemption, repentance, discipleship, and the hope found in Christ. Based on a conversation from the Calibrate Conversations podcast.Timestamps:0:04:04 — Hidden Sin Turns Into Double Life0:06:21 — First Time Seeing Christians Confess Sin0:07:24 — The Text Message Confession That Changed Everything0:08:26 — Arrested, Exposed, And Certain His Life Was Over0:10:05 — Choosing Between Porn And The Bible0:11:43 — Why Jail Became A Turning Point0:13:19 — “I Had Nothing Left To Hide”0:16:17 — Turning His Past Into Ministry For Other Men0:27:08 — The Alarming Pornography Statistics Inside The Church0:49:42 — Over 400 Men Sign Up For Fight Club MinistryCheck out Cam's Ministry  @TheOneLostSheepMinistries  Website: https://theonelostsheep.comJoin us weekly as we strive help people embrace God's standard for sexuality! Other ways to listen:https://linktr.ee/calibrateconversations#Pornography #Truth #Jesus

Send us Fan MailOn-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreLet's talk about how well you really know yourself. Remember that the addiction behaviours are all about self-soothing to manage emotions; a time of escape from life's issues for a while. It means that many other life skills for managing emotions such as stress, pressure, anxiety, upset and other normal emotions, may never have been learned in childhood, because the addiction behaviours became the 'go-to' drug of choice.Core Emotional NeedsWhich are your top 3 Core Emotional Needs? Is it Acceptance, Affection, Appreciation, Approval, Attention, Comfort, Encouragement, Respect, Security or Support? Be aware of your top 10 Core Emotional Needs, but even more importantly, be very sure that you know your top 3 core emotional needs. The very fact that we are human, means that we have these 10 core emotional needs, which have to be met. When life and circumstances do not keep these needs topped up and some dwindle beyond our critical level, then we will react, often unconsciously. Fight or flight will soon demand attention when our core emotional needs are not being met. Fight can take the form of creating conflicts, but not being aware that we are being more contentious than usual! Flight means that we move away from a situation, into a place where we think our needs will be better met. That can take the form of longer hours at work because work or the people in the work place bring a form of comfort. They are danger zones unless we begin to read the signs. Our partner plays a part in meeting our Core Emotional Needs, but they are not responsible. They cannot meet all of those needs. All of the systems within which we interact (such as work, home life, social, sports etc) play a part in meeting those needs, not one person only. In the survey to determine the top 10 Core Emotional Needs, most women can identify with the need for Security within their top 3. Most men chose Respect. Couples do an Exercise with me to identify their top 3 most important Core Emotional Needs.When you have ranked your top 3, try ranking your partner's top 3. Then have a discussion. What you do not know, then you cannot affect or do much about. What you know about and can see, then you can affect for good – or chose not to – but you now have choice! Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Bringing colour back to life - without Shame.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, Support the show

Send us Fan MailOn-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre“I'm the author of my own life story.Unfortunately, I'm writing in pen and I can't erase my mistakes but my future will be better than my past.”  - Mr MeetTherapy with The Kairos Centre is all about helping you to better understand you. Helping to move as much of life's issues from the unconscious, from the unseen, from the invisible, into the conscious, into the seen, into the visible. That which you cannot seen, you have no hope of changing. Change begins when you can see some things. Therefore, it is useful to understand that Therapy with The Kairos Centre involves working with the unconscious, the unseen, the invisible.Here are the 3 Stages that is involved in every 50 minutes Therapy session - called The Egan 3 Stages:STAGE 1: EXPLORING - which is what takes place during each Therapy session, as we jump into the sand pit together in a curiosity way (not criticism), in order to see what we can find and move it into the consciousness, into the seen, into the visible. STAGE 2: REFLECTING (in order to gain INSIGHT & UNDERSTANDING) - This stage belongs entirely to you. It is all about what you do with the matters which we explored together in the session, so that you chew on them, you think about them, you reflect on them outside of the session. Since, as you do so, you gain insight and greater understanding. You use a highlighter pen to make issues visible. They can never be invisible again, even if you do not move to stage 3. You can now see some things that belong to you - based upon what we explored in stage 1.STAGE 3: ACTION/CHANGE - based upon the new insights & understanding gained, the question in front of you is - 'What ACTION/CHANGE do you what to set about implementing (or not)'. The choice belongs entirely to you and once made, The Kairos Centre continues to be alongside you to help you with the change process which you have decided upon. (You are not alone).Another useful tool to help you recognise blind spots, is 'Johari's window'. Here is a Youtube link with an explanation about it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7rlCgy6i88Knowledge is power and so in all your getting, get understanding. That is the beginning of wisdom. Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Bringing colour back to life - without Shame.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, Support the show

Send us Fan MailOn-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreThe Law of Sustainment refers to the principle that your ability to maintain progress towards your goals is closely tied to your self-image and identity. If your inner beliefs do not align with your aspirations, it can lead to inconsistency and failure to achieve lasting change.Put slightly differently: It says 'If you see yourself in a certain way, you'll find it hard to sustain lasting change'.Can you identify with anything in this poem?The world's finest Apple  A poem by Julian R. Smith"You must learn that you cannot be loved by all people You can be the finest apple in the world - ripe, juicy, sweet, succulent - and offer yourself to all. But you must remember that there will be people who do not like apples.  You must understand that if you are the world's finest apple, and someone you love does not like apples, you have the choice of becoming a banana. But you must be warned that if you choose to become a banana you will be a second-rate banana. But you can always be the finest apple.  You must also realise that if you choose to be a second-rate banana. There will be people who do not like bananas. Furthermore, You can spend your life trying to become the best banana - which is impossible if you are an apple - or you can seek again to be the finest apple".What is clear is that somewhere in the past, something happened - usually in the childhood development period. You now find yourself trying to please people - to fit in and be accepted. You try to present a version of you to the people in the 'system' you are currently interacting in, in order to be accepted.If that means changing from being an Apple, to a Banana, then so be it. Being accepted in that grouping is the most important factor. Therefore you constantly metamorphorise in order to please and be accepted.The problem: You never identified and evolved into being the real authentic you or you lost the real authentic you.So - 'standup the real authentic you' - becomes futile because the real authentic you is not known. 'Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all' - will get the response - 'Well it's all those others, isn't it!'The Russian doll image best illustrates the protected Inner child deep inside the layers - being protected from the hostile world.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teensSupport the show

Send us Fan MailOn-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreIn this episode, let's say it all in poetry.My Brain And Heart Divorced – John RoedelMy brain and heart divorced a decade ago over who was to blame about how big of a mess I have become eventually, they couldn't be in the same room with each othernow my head and heart share custody of meI stay with my brain during the weekand my heart gets me on weekendsthey never speak to one another– instead, they give me the same note to pass to each other every weekand their notes they send to one another always says the same thing:“This is all your fault”on Sundays my heart complains about how my head has let me downin the pastand on Wednesday my head lists all of the times my heart has screwed things up for me in the futurethey blame each other for the state of my lifethere's been a lot of yelling – and crying so,lately, I've been spending a lot of time with my gutwho serves as my unofficial therapistmost nights, I sneak out of the window in my ribcageand slide down my spine and collapse on my gut's plush leather chairthat's always open for me~ and I just sit sit sit sit until the sun comes uplast evening, my gut asked me if I was having a hard time being caught between my heart and my headI noddedI said I didn't know if I could live with either of them anymore“my heart is always sad about something that happened yesterdaywhile my head is always worried about something that may happen tomorrow,”I lamentedmy gut squeezed my hand“I just can't live with my mistakes of the past or my anxiety about the future,”I sighedmy gut smiled and said:“in that case, you should go stay with your lungs for a while,”I was confused– the look on my face gave it away“if you are exhausted about your heart's obsession with the fixed past and your mind's focus on the uncertain futureyour lungs are the perfect place for youthere is no yesterday in your lungs there is no tomorrow there eitherthere is only nowthere is only inhalethere is only exhalethere is only this momentthere is only breathand in that breath you can rest while your heart and head worktheir relationship out.”this morning, while my brain was busy reading tea leavesand while my heart was staringat old photographs I packed a little bag and walked to the door ofmy lungsbefore I could even knock she opened the door with a smile and asa gust of air embraced me she said“what took you so long?”~ John Roedel -----"It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem." — G.K. Chesterton.-----"To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it." — G.K. Chesterton-----"It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem." — G.K. Chesterton-----"Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility" — Dietrich Bonhoeffer-----“It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and simply arrangedThe only difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea how to set about it....” (Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll)Get some help from The Kairos Centre. Support the show

Send us Fan MailOn-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreMany people think that pornography consumption is harmless. Studies, however, have proven that regular consumption can have a negative impact on the brain. Prolonged exposure can alter brain structures, brain functioning and therefore, behaviour patterns. (A Recovery Programme is all about rewiring the brain).Frequency of use, existing or prior mental health conditions, age of exposure and the type of pornographic content, are important factors. Porn impacts a developing brain differently than a mature brain. Such matters as violent porn are factors that does a different type of impact. Changes in the reward centre, cognitive functioning and emotional regulation are key areas of interest in neuropsychology.The Pleasure and Reward Centre: The brain's primary reward neurotransmitter is Dopamine and it is released during pleasure activities whenever you experience pleasure. Repeated release of dopamine over time, alters the reward centre of the brain. You will find that over time, you desire more stimulus to achieve the same result. Regular use of porn causes highs and lows and the brain starts to create new patterns that drive a person to continue watching porn. It remembers the reward.Cognitive Function: Individuals who suffer from compulsive use of porn, often struggle with cognitive functioning. There may be impaired decision-making, but they do not know it. For example, going after the immediate short-term gain, despite the much bigger potential consequences which is all so apparent and a seemingly illogical decision to take such risks. There may be cognitive blind spots where you cannot so readily disurn the negative consequences of the behaviour; instead, going for immediate gratification - rather than delayed gratification; even trashing own personal values, moral codes and ethics.Emotional Regulation: The difficulty regulating emotions will show up in constantly reaching out for the quick fix of porn viewing, Sex or Love Addiction behaviours, to regular emotions; thereby, reinforcing the well grooved out neural pathway pairing which has taken place. Remember that the Frontal/Pre-cortex/logical reasoning decision-making part of the brain has gone offline during the 'Acting out'. Major bridge-burning decisions are being taken in the Limbic area of the brain. 'I feel, so I do'. When the behaviours are brought to an end and the Pre-Cortex comes back online - hearing you ask it the question - "What a waste of time. Why did I just do that?". It's reply will be - "Why are you asking us. We were offline at the time!"Neurological Impact of Porn Addiction: Neuropsychology and neuroscience are the fields which feed us the explanations about these dynamics, which explores how the brain and nervous system shape behaviour and cognition. MRI Scans have demonstrated the potency of the generated Dopamine, Serotonin and Oxytocin mix effect on the brain - as a similar impact to illegal drugs. I might be somewhat provocative with my clients (forewarning them beforehand!) - that they are in fact 'drug addicts'. They are not addicted to illegal street drugs, but have become addicted to the potent neurochemical (self-manufactured chemicals) in the body, generated from the sex and porn behaviours.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpKey words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sexSupport the show

Send us Fan MailOn-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreThe antidote to Narcissism is Empathy. (Sympathy and Empathy are very different). Narcissism and Empathy cannot co-exist at high levels together in the same person. (Both cannot be seen being used at high levels in the same person). There will always be a high level of one and a low level of the other. Make sure Empathy is the one that is practised at a high level, in how you do life. (You will need some help to do change to achieve it!)This second definition of NARCISSISM which I use is rather academic and wordy, but it works for some clients:"Narcissism is a psychological disorder associated with grandiosity, a need for admiration and a lack of empathy. Narcissistic traits tend to run on a continuum. A higher psychologically functioning narcissist is often successful and charming but may have intimacy problems in relationships. A person who has a more severe form of narcissism may appear nearly delusional with their grandiosity and may act out destructively when they feel criticized. Narcissistic behavior involves much idealization and devaluation. Characteristics involve grandiosity, entitlement, lack of empathy, idealization of self and devaluation of others.Narcissistic damage occurs when a child's vulnerable and developing core sense of self is not seen and reflected back by the adults around him/her. Each child is born a unique individual with special gifts and personal challenges, multi-layered and both simple and complex. For any one layer to develop, that part of the child needs to be seen, heard, understood and valued. Parents have to be present to be mirrors—to bear witness and reflect back. Healthy, grounded parents help young people build a frame of reference for living. When a parent's own woundedness and unmet needs override their ability to be present to a child or a parent's undeveloped parts of self render them unable to respond to a child's vulnerable and authentic needs, the child's core sense of self can be lost, fragmented or undeveloped. The loss, fragmentation and lack of development of the core sense of self is the root of the narcissistic wound. Raw, broken, undeveloped and lost, we enter a cold cruel world ill-equipped to relate, define fulfilment from the inside out and connect with the spirit of life. When our primal wiring meets the world we live in today characterized by disconnection at personal, family and social levels, we experience a helplessness and aloneness that is beyond what we are biologically prepared to embrace. Narcissistic wounding is sometimes referred to as the emptiness wound".Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, Support the show

Text us your questions or topics for the show! We got you!Cass Morrow, Author of Disrupting Divorce: The NEW Man. Saving Struggling, Sexless, and Toxic Marriages.Kathryn Morrow, Author of Behind The White Picket Fence.If you've struggled with porn, infidelity, or “old habits”… the scariest part isn't changing.It's the fear you'll go backwards the moment life gets hard again.In this Q&A, Chad calls in—his wife is in White Picket Fence and he's seen real change in her. He and his wife have been in counseling for 2.5 years, and he's made progress… but his biggest fear is relapse.Cass breaks down why most men “go backwards”:Change is easy when the marriage feels goodThe real test is when insecurity hits, you feel worthless, or you have a bad dayPorn/infidelity isn't the core issue—it's a self-worth + validation issueYou don't quit by “white-knuckling progress”… you quit when you genuinely don't want itPractical trust-building boundaries (ex: never bring your phone to the bathroom)“Bridge the gap with insecurity” (stop triggering betrayal reminders)The roller coaster / crazy train cycle: high highs, low lows“Violence isn't just physical” — you don't get to decide what hurts your partnerIdentity work: stop looking for validation in your wife's eyes (or anyone else's)This episode is for the man who's done with the cycle and wants to become consistent—at home, in his marriage, and in his own head.

Send us Fan MailOn-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreHere is my mathematical formula - as we look at Narcissism:SHAME + NARCISSISM = SEX, PORN, LOVE ADDICTIONI am not saying that those with Sex, Porn, Love Addiction are Narcissists. (Some may have NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)). What I am saying is that all of my clients with Sex, Porn, Love Addiction, have traits which come out of NPD.Most of my clients will initially reject the suggestion that they have such traits - (me, myself & I focus) - until I explain the definition. Here is one of the definitions of Narcissism which I use. (In a past episode, I gave you the shorter simplified definition). This one is the longer, much more academic version:"Narcissism is a psychological disorder associated with grandiosity, a need for admiration and a lack of empathy. Narcissistic traits tend to run on a continuum. A higher psychologically functioning narcissist is often successful and charming but may have intimacy problems in relationships. A person who has a more severe form of narcissism may appear nearly delusional with their grandiosity and may act out destructively when they feel criticized. Narcissistic behavior involves much idealization and devaluation. Characteristics involve grandiosity, entitlement, lack of empathy, idealization of self and devaluation of others.Narcissistic damage occurs when a child's vulnerable and developing core sense of self is not seen and reflected back by the adults around him/her. Each child is born a unique individual with special gifts and personal challenges, multi-layered and both simple and complex. For any one layer to develop, that part of the child needs to be seen, heard, understood and valued. Parents have to be present to be mirrors—to bear witness and reflect back. Healthy, grounded parents help young people build a frame of reference for living. When a parent's own woundedness and unmet needs override their ability to be present to a child or a parent's undeveloped parts of self render them unable to respond to a child's vulnerable and authentic needs, the child's core sense of self can be lost, fragmented or undeveloped. The loss, fragmentation and lack of development of the core sense of self is the root of the narcissistic wound. Raw, broken, undeveloped and lost, we enter a cold cruel world ill-equipped to relate, define fulfilment from the inside out and connect with the spirit of life. When our primal wiring meets the world we live in today characterized by disconnection at personal, family and social levels, we experience a helplessness and aloneness that is beyond what we are biologically prepared to embrace. Narcissistic wounding is sometimes referred to as the emptiness wound".Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what Support the show

In this episode of the Breaking Free Podcast, I sit down with sex, intimacy, and libido coach Pauline Ryland to have a conversation that most people are too uncomfortable to talk about but absolutely need to hear. Pauline shares her 15+ years of experience helping men and women overcome low libido, erection problems, porn addiction, intimacy issues, and relationship disconnection. The conversation dives deep into the psychological, emotional, and physical factors that are silently affecting modern relationships and sexual health. We discuss the impact pornography is having on men's brains and performance, the importance of communication in relationships, how unresolved trauma can affect intimacy, and practical techniques men and couples can use to rebuild connection and sexual energy  including pelvic floor exercises, breathing techniques, and ways to break porn dependency. This is a deep, honest conversation about sex, relationships, healing, and connection that could change the way you see intimacy and your relationship. Jump on BonCharge and grab yourself some protection  from wifi, 5G, blue/red light and so much more… At the Checkout Use Code “Nath22” to receive 15% off Right here: https://www.boncharge.com/?rfsn=7434501.689abc Connect With Pauline Ryeland: Website: https://paulineryeland.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IntimacyWhisperer/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/intimacywhisperer/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@IntimacyWhisperer Connect With Me (Nathan Francis Coach/Mentor)  Substack: https://substack.com/@nathanfrancis Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/OSS.Health.Mind Personal Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nath.francis69 Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nathanfrancis222?_t=8iKxXw8R2ee&_r=1 Telegram: https://t.me/nathf94   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nathanfrancis__/ Email me anytime: nathanselfsabotage@gmail.com The Breaking Free Podcast  Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1fHxmfbFZwyZPIcOrjw3Hf?si=q42PtUR4Qeu8SvUuWDMrpw Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/breaking-free-podcast/id1657951151 Youtube: https://youtube.com/@nathanfrancis__?si=df69YA7zK-CUeG8-      

Send us Fan MailOn-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreSex - Addict, maybe you really are not yet at the 'ACTION' stage, as you think you are! 'Tools for 'ACTION' won't work if that is not the STAGE you are at. Let's look at where you might be at, despite turning up at the Therapists office because you have been caught and you have the Damocles sword over your head from the threats to leave and take the children - from your partner; or you have had the early morning knock at the door from the police and you are in the Criminal legal proccess and need to show to the system that you are taking steps to quit.Presenting for therapy does not mean you are ready for change and or to give up the behaviours. You see the 'need to give it up', but the 'desire to give it up' is lagging behind.I am multi-talented and do brain surgery on all of my Sex Porn Love Addiction clients. I explain that I am going to cut round your skull; lift off the top; remove your brain and put your brain on the chair next to you. (Don't forget to take it when you leave!)Why do I do something so bizzare? Because I want you to know that your brain (we also call them “Parts”), is not your best friend all of the time. It is well intended. It is seeking to look after and protect you; but it does not always make right or best decisions for you in the moment.There are times when it will work against you. It will sabotage. That is why I encourage all of my clients to build in “Treats & Rewards” into their programme of change. Over time, of the brain experiencing treats & rewards for small incremental good outcomes, I hope (eventually) to entice the parts of the brain to Start to work with you. It likes treats & rewards for good outcomes. Make sense?There is another reason for doing brain surgery. I want to have a conversation with my clients, but I don't want their brain to hear. I need to tell them something, but if their brain hears it, the brain may receive it as permission to Relapse. I don't want to unwittingly give them that message.But I do want them to hear that all the stats will tell us that most individuals do not achieve sobriety at their first attempt to change any behaviour in their life. Usually there are a number of repeated attempts. Learn to get up, dust off and get back in. Remember 'The Potholes Poem'? Request a copy from me, if you need it.What are those 'STAGES OF CHANGE ' you are talking about Gary? The Stages of Change in behaviour occurs gradually. A person moves from being uninterested, unaware or unwilling to make a change (Pre-contemplation), to considering change (Contemplation), to deciding and Preparing to make a change. Genuine determined Action then follows. Endeavours to Maintain the new behaviour occur, as well as the potential for Relapse snapping at its heel, to upset the journey towards life-long change.  Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.,Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, relationships, relationship counseling, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, relationship issues, sexual, trauma, ptsd, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Support the show

Send us Fan Mail- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreLove me in five ways: (See my Book - The Art of Loving)Most of us operate out of emotional love. Our love is conditional. Loving self comes first. If you do not love yourself, it is not possible to love someone with the high level of love you think you have for them. It is deception to think that we do love our partner, whilst not really able to say that we love our self. Learn to love yourself first. Individual counselling may be necessary to help you on the journey.Learn to love and then learn the art of practising love. Learn it well and then spend a lifetime discipline, maintaining and perfecting it as your love affair. We know that the English word love is much over used. We use it for loving a meal as we do for loving our partner, the pet or ice cream. Using one word in that manner is a recipe for misunderstanding and certainly lacks precision in what we are trying to express.We can compare that to the way the word love is broken down and used in the Greek language. Historically the Greek language used at least five words precisely and quite distinctly to describe the various facets of love.By looking at each of those different word descriptions we can build up the identifying features of all the components that the word love should contain and demonstrate in all healthy, progressive and fulfilling relationships. Those five words for love are Epithumia, Eros, Phileo, Storge and Agape.Every couple's love life should have all five facets of these aspects of love. Each is distinct, but inter-related and overlap. Each reinforces the other. EPITHUMIA: (The sexual love): Epithumia is a strong desire - of any kind. It is a longing for something or someone. It is to set one's heart or desire upon. It has components of coveting and to lust after. It can be a strong, lustful and physical sexual desire. EROS: (Romance): Eros has been corrupted by the English word “erotic”. Eros is the driver for the romance in the relationship. Sometimes sensual, it is the desire and feeling of wanting to be together and yearning to unite.Eros is romantic, passionate and sentimental. It is the driver which causes lovers to write love poetry, love notes and give pet names to each other. It only keeps working as long as there is reciprocation and we can see benefits.STORGE: (Security): Storge is a most valuable and expensive gift. It is a relationship which will always be there for you, despite being rejected by others; a safe place/haven. It is the need (which we all have) to belong or to be a part of a close knit system with people who care, are loyal and sincere. It is a relationship which provides emotional refuge from a world which can be cold, harsh and hard.PHILEO: (Fellowship/Friendship): Phileo is the love one feels for a cherished friend of either sex. This love is conditional and is reactive to what it sees in the other. It is a love which cherishes and has tender affection for the beloved, but always expects a response. AGAPE: (Unconditional): Agape is the fifth of our five loves. At some point in a relationship, we may be tested harshly indeed by a crisis. Perhaps for a longer period than we could have imagined or expected we have tried to love the unlovable. We are starkly face to face with a situation of “for better or for worse”. Unlovable traits show up in the partner. The toll on you has already been great. Agape is the totally unselfish love that has the capacity to give and keep on giving without a reciprSupport the show

Send us Fan Mail- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreTools for repairing The Sex Addiction impacted couples relationshipCouples get into a conflict dance of words and emotions, mostly because of their Attachment Fears - fears of being Abandoned. The conflict of words is rarely about the actual subject matter in dispute.  There is an under current of despair. It is rarely about the top left off the tooth paste or leaving the toilet seat up. Have a read of the Book “Hold me Tight” by Dr Sue Johnson.What goes wrong when love goes wrong. The clue is often in the childhood development years. Insecure Attachment is often at the root of the issues. Depleted Core Emotional Needs is a common feature. What are those 'Loves' which go wrong? Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service & Physical Touch.What is 'the childhood Development years: From birth to just after puberty. Templates get set up, which we practice and then take with us into adulthood, to form our pattern of responses; but they may have worked in childhood, in family, up were not exportable into the new couples relationship.What are those Insecure Attachments? Anxious Attachment, Avoidant Attachment & Dismissive/Fearful Attachment. The ideal outcome from childhood Development should have been 'Secure Attachment'.What are those Core Emotional Needs? The top 10 of them are Acceptance, Affection, Appreciation, Approval, Attention, Comfort, Encouragement, Respect, Security & Support.Everyone of these issues have been looked at by me in past episodes. Go search them out.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormonesSupport the show

Send a textOn-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreIn the 1950's Eric Berne began to develop his theories of Transactional Analysis (TA). He said that verbal communication is at the centre of human social relationships and is a transaction. He called it Transactional Analysis. This is our ingrained voice of authority, absorbed conditioning, learning and attitudes from when we were young. We were conditioned by our real parents, teachers, older people, next door neighbours, aunts and uncles and those in authority.It is a model about people and relationships - based on two notions. The first -  that we have three parts or 'ego-states' to our 'personality; secondly, that these converse with one another in 'transactions'. We each have internal models of Parents, Children and Adults within us. Those roles are played out with one another in our relationships. Many of our problems come from transactions which are unsuccessful.When you are trying to identify ego states, words are only part of the story. To analyse a transaction you need to see and feel what is being said as well, since only 7% of meaning is in the words spoken. 38% of meaning is from the way that the words are spoken and 55% is from facial expression. Beware of cultural differences in body-language or emphases that appear 'Parental'.Parent: There are two forms of Parent we can play. The Nurturing Parent is caring and concerned; often appearing as a mother-figure (men also play out that role). They seek to keep the Child contented, offering a safe haven and unconditional love to calm the Child's troubles.The Controlling (or Critical) Parent, tries to make the Child do as the parent wants them to do. They may also have negative intent,Adult: The Adult in us is the 'grown up' rational person who talks reasonably and assertively, neither trying to control nor reacting aggressively towards others. The Adult is comfortable with themself.Child: There are three types of Child we can play. The Natural Child is mostly not self-aware and is characterized by the non-speech noises they make (yahoo, whee). They like playing and are open and vulnerable. They are the curious and exploring; always trying out new stuff (often much to their Controlling Parent's annoyance). Along with the Natural Child they make up the Free Child. The Adaptive Child reacts to the world around them, either changing themselves to fit in or rebelling against the forces they feel.Conflict: Problems usually occur in crossed transactions, where each is talking to a different level of ego state. Watch out for crossed wires, as this is where conflict arises. When it happens, try to go to the state that the other person is in, to talk at the same level. For rational conversation, move yourself and the other person to the Adult level. The parent is either nurturing or controlling. Often speaks to the child in their adaptive or ‘natural' response. When both people talk as a Parent to the other's Child, their wires get crossed and conflict results. The ideal line of communication is the mature and rational Adult-Adult relationship. At the core of Berne's theory is the rule that effective transactions (ie successful communications) must be complementary. The problem: Being a Controlling Parent invites the other person into a Child state where they may conform with demands. There is also a risk that they will be an Adaptive 'naughty child' and rebel. They may also take opposing Parent or Adult states. Be a Nurturing Parent, talking at thSupport the show

In this episode (323), we address a heartbreaking submission from a betrayed partner who discovered that her husband of over forty years had been living a secret sexual life throughout their entire marriage. After decades of pornography use, strip clubs, and paid sexual encounters—hidden behind a carefully managed public image—she now finds herself asking the question many partners face after long-term betrayal: Can someone who has lived a double life for decades ever truly change? We begin by acknowledging the deep trauma caused by this kind of discovery while also reminding partners that their integrity, devotion, and sacrifices throughout the relationship remain real and meaningful despite the deception.We also explore several common dynamics that help explain how someone can maintain this level of secrecy for so long. Factors such as male sexual entitlement, fear of consequences, control of reputation, immature emotional coping strategies, and emotional objectification often play a role in sustaining addiction and deception. These are not excuses, but they can help both partners understand the psychological patterns that allowed the addiction to persist for so many years.Finally, we discuss what real recovery actually requires in situations like this. True sobriety is not instant, and claims of having no urges shortly after discovery are often a red flag. Long-term healing typically involves years of work, including formal therapeutic disclosure, deep exploration of the addiction's roots, radical honesty, and consistent accountability. While the road forward is challenging, both individual healing and relationship recovery are possible when genuine transformation takes place and trust is rebuilt through sustained action over time.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   Can Someone Who Lived a Secret Sexual Life for 40 Years Ever be Truly Sober?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Send a textMore on unconscious Couples collusive fit dynamics of attractionBy ROSIE IFOULD, 1 August 2011http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2020944/Do-fight-like-cats-dogs-Or-half-pedestal-How-identifying-couple-type-transform-love-life.html#ixzz36JbJ34V9Most of us take on set roles in our relationships whether we realise it or not. We like to think that every relationship is unique. Experts have identified six different ‘couple types' that we all fall into.Psychologists say, identifying the type of couple type we are — or would like to be — holds the key to a happy relationship and being able to understand our own needs and those of our partner.The kind of couple we find ourselves in is largely influenced by what we've experienced growing up. We can't help but take on board how our parents behaved.Often, we recreate the roles of our mothers and fathers. If you grew up seeing your father worship your mother, you might expect the same from your relationships. CAT AND DOGThis couple fight constantly. They can be screaming at each other in front of you and you say: “Why don't you split up?” And they turn in unison and ask you: “Are you mad?”They enjoy the cycle of fight and make up (often accompanied by passionate sex). If one partner has an affair or does something to disrupt the trust, this becomes the relationship from hell.THRILL OF THE CHASEThe pursuer/distancer couple, in which one partner is in pursuit of the other, trying to secure their attention and affection. One pretends they don't want to know and the other enjoys the thrill of the chase. They take it in turns to play the pursuer or distancer. Whenever one senses the other is losing interest, they will switch. What drives this couple is a fear of being seen as needy. They can develop a dependency on one another.PARENT AND CHILD"I've three children … including the one I'm married to!" They feel responsible for nurturing their partner, who they regard as less capable. It may occur when one partner becomes vulnerable — for instance, after they are ill or lose their job.The parent partner is attracted because they feel that in caring for this person, they have found a purpose in life. Parenting isn't just about nurturing, it's also about control.IDOL AND FANEverything is black and white for this couple. One person is all good. Everything about them is wonderful and the other person worships them. One adopts the role of worshipper to boost the other's self-esteem. The idol may collude in telling the fan they are inferior and will never find anyone else to love them. This kind of relationship can be short-lived because there's no room for either to develop.BABES IN THE WOODThese are two individuals who recognise great similarities in each other. It's a pattern typically found in new relationships or where the partners may feel insecure. Perhaps they've been hurt in the past, so security appeals. Often described as the best of friends, with a strong, united front. They can be so focused on each other that it's difficult for anyone else to penetrate their world, including friends. THE GROWN-UPSThis is a functional relationship between two mature people at ease with their differences and with little interest in conflict. They are sensible and accommodating. These two will never have to face Support the show

Send a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreUnconscious Couples Collusive fit - of attraction to each other. Identify with any of these dynamics in your partnered relationship - now or in the past?Henry Dicks suggested that there are three areas involved in a couple fit: A public fit of social class, ethnicity and education between couples.Each partner will have had different experiences from childhood. Both of the partners may have had attachment issues from childhood and have separation anxiety, but they may have different coping styles. One might be compulsive anxious attachment, one might have compulsive fearful avoidant attachment and both may struggle trusting an attachment figure.Babes in the Wood: Cling together in the face of impossible odds. Unconscious rejection - repressed anger within relationship - expressed anger at people outside the relationship by partner one. Unconscious rejection - repressed against anger within relationship - expressed anger at people outside the relationship by partner two.They often look the same and will behave in a likeable, affable manner. A couple such as this see all the bad things in the world as belonging in the outside world and not part of themselves. They keep anything bad out of their relationship. The world literally is a “big bad wolf” to them.Net and Sword: The ‘net' shows all the love & tries to encompass, control or placate the sword. Conscious rejection - deny need or yearning for other by partner one. Conscious yearning by partner two. The relationship works well until one partner owns up to their denied feelings & decides they will not be responsible for the others unexpressed feelings. There is Conscious rejection deny need or yearning for other the by partner two.One partner shows all the love in the relationship and the other all the rejection. One partner expresses all the denied emotions that the other cannot or will not express. This relationship works well until one partner owns up to their denied feelings and decides they will not be responsible for the others unexpressed feelings, often plunging the other into confusion or profound feelings of loss. (One of them has moved the goalposts).Cat and Dog: Characterised by anger, rejection & other destructive emotions. Both are only conscious of the bad in each other. Conscious rejection - deny need or yearning for other by partner one. Conscious rejection deny need or yearning for other by partner two. They often will not separate because they fear they cannot or will not be able to find a relationship with anybody better.Yet they fight. (Like Tom & Jerry cartoon). It is portrayed in Edward Albee's play "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf", and is characterised by anger, rejection and a host of other destructive emotions. Both are only conscious of the bad in each other and their lives seem like a war zone. (Very similar to the relationship which Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor lived out). Intimacy is regulated by conflict and they often will not part because they fear they cannot or will not be able to find a relationship with anybody better.In these relationship 'fits', the couple relationship is marked by parts of themselves that they are denying; counselling can help the couple “re-fit” their relationship.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpKey words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, Support the show

Send a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreMate/Partner selection, Collusive/Couple fit and all that: Why did I choose you and not someone else on planet earth?"I have never met you before or hardly know you, yet in a room of 100 people, I gravitate to you". How does that happen?My reply as a Therapist: "Because you 'promise' (or hold the potential) to fix and supplement an aspect of me which needs what you have - but I am not going to tell you that and make myself vulnerable."Say what? Yep."So you are saying that we gravitate to sameness (to compliment each other), as well as differenceness (to supplement my perceived deficits) - which I don't want you to know about and even I don't necessarily and consciously want to own that fact?"All very odd. Yep - because most of that dynamic lives in the unconscious, which is what Therapy with The Kairos Centre helps you with - to move as much from the unconscious into the conscious; so that when it is now in the conscious, you get the opportunity to try to do something about it; but just because it is now in the conscious does not mean you will be able to change what is now visible - quickly. It takes take to effect change.Why? Because you are going after patterns of behaviours set up in the childhood development period, where blueprints and templates were established and set in place and practised into adulthood. "So my thoughts and behaviours are going down a predictable course because of repeatedly practiced patterns of behaviours which have become neural pathways and it takes time to change well entrenched and well established patterns of behaviours which have become neural pathways?". Yep. You got it."Little wonder then that I set about trying to avoid getting it wrong again (by choosing that wrong type of partner) and to avoid that, I go to extreme opposite ends of the spectrum of attributes and blow me, I end up with someone where the same negative behaviours eventually show up again. Oh - yuk"!Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, Support the show

Send a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreFrom where did you get your Sex Ed knowledge back there during the developing childhood years, which you have been following through and repeatedly practising in adulthood? Was it 'Peers, banter and porn' which set up your sexual template, long before school Sex Ed - which got there way too late; the deed was already done. You give a wry smile when asked about Sex Ed at home from parents! For most - there was none at home; for others, if there was, it came way too late.Once the five senses of sight, smell, taste, touch & sound brings images and experiences onto the brain - those 'firsts' have already set up the templates - which will then be repeatedly played out in adulthood sexuality, as being 'right' and 'works'. Not necessarily true. They are templates, but they may not be accurate of 'right'. They are just what your brain experienced as 'first time' and the template is set up (whether wanted or not) and will reproduce and reproduce; churning out the same old, same old - 'seems to work'; (but you know it isn't working as you want it to work!The setting up of those templates during the childhood development period are called sexual myths. Sexual myths need to be unlearned. Then replaced with accurate knowledge about human sexually and physiological responses. That is what The Kairos Centre provide, when its Therapists are wearing a different hat and skill set called Psychosexual Therapy. (I use the shorted term of 'Sex Therapy').It can be transformation, when (for the first time) you experience Sensuality, Intimacy, Romance, Deep Love & Affection - at a must higher level (after cleansing out the dross); which is so fulfilling on its own; and you haven't even had sex yet!Come and see and experience it for yourself. Then you will have eyes to see and body to feel the difference of 'sex gone wrong' all those years that you have been doing it!Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones,Support the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centrePart 5 of 5 of an interview with Caroline Brown of -  This Crazy over 40s Life - a Black & ethnicity perspectiveHere is a portion of an article by Lauren Dubinsky - Founder of Good Women Project: What I Wish I'd Known Before Watching Porn, 2012 "Pornography is a charged subject, and it's a word that rarely crosses the lips of most women. Yes, there are now breeds of the modern woman who watch, talk and joke about it regularly, but most of us still stay farther away from speaking the word than we actually stay away from it...... but statistics show that, at least in Australia, more than one-third of pornography viewers are women. Just last week, I received an email from a girl who leads a small women's group; they'd just discovered that every single one of them were watching porn.When I was in high school, pornography was on the long list of "bad things" that I didn't know much about -- and unfortunately also on the list of things I had participated in. Never mind why I was watching it, the how is the same for nearly all of us: We stumbled upon it because of someone else. And none of us knew what to expect, or how to handle it.I wish someone had talked about how women watch it too, so I wouldn't have had to spend years living under the shame that comes with being "the only one" and thinking there was something wrong with me....."What are the psychosexual issues that we work with as Sex Therapists, which young people are storing up and manifests in their twenties.Erectile Dysfunction: Inability to get or keep an erectionDelayed/Retarded ejaculation: Inability or 'long' delay in being able to ejaculatePremature Ejaculation: Coming too quicklyVaginismus: Inability for penis to enter the vagina due to vaginal musclesDyspareunia: Female pain during vaginal penetrationSexual Desire Disorder: Little or no desire for sexLack of Orgasm: Inability to reach an OrgasmSpectatoring during sex: Coaching self during sex and so not fully presentGenital/body dysmorphia: Belief that genitals are not 'normal'Spermaphobia: Fear of ejaculation and specifically spermEurotophobia: Aversion to/fear of female genitaliaSickle cell Priapism: Ejection failure to reduce and is longlastingVulvar painGet some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones,Support the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centrePart 4 of 5 of an interview with Caroline Brown of -  This Crazy over 40s Life - a Black & ethnicity perspectiveCovid-19 contributed to a significant increase in the compulsive use of porn in 10 to 75 years old. Women gravitated to webcam usage during lockdown – maybe coerced by partners making it seem like a necessary substitute. Many such females do not yet know they might be addicted until they try to stop.What is this thing called “Love Addiction”? Well, I believe it is all about trying to fill an Insecure Attachment need. What's that? Set up in childhood development where the bonding with key parental figures was not 'good enough'. “Say what!'. There may be a high level of sincere motivation to stop, but the physiology demand for its chemical fix, situational triggers and disturbing/upsetting feelings, causes a PART of the personality to sabotage. Logic goes offline. There is little care about the demands of the other PARTS of the personality. "I see, I desire, I want, so I take" kicks in. Immediate gratification rules.So, a lot of women worldwide, have become addicted or have a compulsion towards porn, but do not realise it. Arguably, there is greater 'Shame' for women, who then need to go deeper under ground and sty 'hidden. Stay means hide/hidden - don't tell or be found out. Remember SHAME + NARICISSISM = SEX ADDICTION.Some interesting stats from BACP Mindometer 2025 News from BACP: This annual survey into the state of the nation's mental health identified that almost two thirds (64%) of therapists say the public's mental health has deteriorated over the past year. Nearly all therapists identified financial pressures and the rising cost of living as major contributing factors, while 83% reported that war and global conflict have also negatively affected people's wellbeing.The survey gathered insights from almost 3,000 members, highlights several emerging trends:62% of therapists who work with men with addiction said they noticed a rise in alcohol addiction over the past yearOver half (53%) of therapists who work with men with addiction said they noticed a rise in porn addiction over the past yearWhat a shame the questions were focussed primarily on men. Interesting isn't it!In August 2024, BACP published its Addictions Competence Framework, identifying specialist knowledge, skills and abilities that counsellors require to effectively support adults living with addictions.  Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, Support the show

What if porn addiction recovery feels painful not because you're failing—but because the way you've been taught to understand addiction is fundamentally flawed?For many men, trying to quit porn doesn't feel empowering. It feels humiliating. It feels like staring straight at everything you believe is broken, defective, or dangerous about you.I know this feeling personally—because I lived it for years.The harder I tried to overcome porn addiction, the worse I felt about myself. Recovery became a reminder of shame instead of a path toward healing. And eventually, it felt easier to numb out than to keep confronting the belief that I was fundamentally flawed.In this episode of No More Desire, I challenge one of the most destructive ideas in modern porn addiction recovery: that addiction means you are bad, weak, or unworthy.Because what if porn addiction isn't proof that something is wrong with you—but evidence that good parts of you were forced into extreme roles?In this conversation, I break down why shame-based recovery backfires, how porn addiction is deeply tied to self-worth and the nervous system, and why self-judgment keeps men stuck in the very cycle they're trying to escape.We explore the psychology and neuroscience behind porn addiction, including how shame dysregulates the nervous system and intensifies cravings, why dopamine-driven behaviors aren't about pleasure but unmet emotional needs, and how addiction often functions as a misguided attempt at connection, comfort, and significance.Using a parts-work framework grounded in psychology, I explain how healthy inner parts—like the desire for comfort, adventure, rest, and meaning—can become distorted when they're suppressed or ignored. Porn addiction, in this light, isn't about moral failure. It's about good parts in bad roles.You'll also learn why simply getting sober doesn't automatically heal shame, why many men remain unhappy even after quitting porn, and how waiting to feel “worthy” before living your life keeps addiction relevant.This episode offers a different path forward—one rooted in self-leadership rather than self-hatred.If you're trying to quit porn but feel exhausted, ashamed, or stuck in an inner war, this episode will help you reframe your struggle and begin healing without hating yourself.Porn addiction recovery without shame isn't about excusing behavior. It's about understanding it deeply enough that real, lasting change becomes possible.Link to Blog Article for this EpisodeIf you're ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, join the No More Desire free online community and connect with men who are committed to real recovery. When you sign up, you'll gain access to The 4 Pillars of Recovery Online Course FREE. You can also check out my Free Workshop and Free Ebook, designed to help you overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life.Support the showNo More Desire

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.Therapy is about you not me.What do you want from Therapy? Are Fetishes or Paraphilia activities to be included? Where does your view come from? Is it your view or a 'hand me down?'What is for sure is that Therapy won't work until you are ready. But if you take too long (as the masses do), then the hand grenade may go off in your face and then you are left picking up shrapnel. Picking up shrapnel is to be re-active. What might shrapnel look like? It could be: getting caught by a partner; found out by an employer from office PC activities; the early morning knock by the police for viewing Child Sexual Abuse Material.Better to make conscious choices, even if wrong choices; (at least you know you made those choices and so, can own the fallout). Don't let lack of choice be done to you because you did not chose the activities, but they were done to you. You then own the repercussions. Make sense?CBT= Cognitive Behaviour (Therapy). The Cognitive (your thinking) will always come before Behaviour (the action). Change your thinking before trying to change Behaviour. If you can change your Mind, you can change your life.Whichever addiction you are caught up in (whether Alcohol, smoking, eating, sex, porn, seeking out connection with love, drugs, phone, gambling or gaming), the craving to use are not under direct conscious control. The neuro-chemicals or self induced chemicals take over and demand repeat fix. I see, I desire, I want, so I take, kicks in – where “Immediate gratification rules again.Design your sobriety with help from The Kairos Centre. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, Support the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.Make the real thing the real thing; prioritise the right thing. Fight the right battles. Don't fight some battles, but lose the war. It will drain you and then you want to self-soothe and dissipate your energy.Your brain may sideswipe you to focus on non-essentials. What is the real issue. Take your eyes off others and do your own battles and fights. Not ones which others have set up for you. Focus on self love and self value. Only then can you learn to truly love someone else.….then, after sorting self, maybe you will have more energy to pick up other things and fulfil your best potential in the right aspects of life that is destined for you to impact beneficially. Become the best that you can be and leave your positive deposit on this earth. Consider a re-set, re-set, re-set. Get back to the real thing. Your focus is to change the trajectory that you are on. Change it by just one degree and in a year, see where your new trajectory has taken you.Compulsive and addiction behaviours is causing you to live and experience a lower quality of life, than you are entitled to and deserve.The Kairos Centre is all about helping you to see what you cannot see; then you can go after the right stuff, effect change and seek to be the best that you can be, so others can become the best that they can be –  because you have become the best that you can be - without SHAME, bringing colour back to life. Come taste and see! Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, Support the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.Sex Addiction is handled very differently between the cultures. Shame plays out differently between cultures. 'Shame' in Asian culture, is very different to 'Shame' in Western European culture.An interesting article by Sam Louie, discusses Asian 'Shame' and 'Honour' as a cultural conundrum:"...Honoring his Korean heritage while also trying to honor his sense of autonomy growing up.  He saw getting help as bringing dishonor to his family and not an act of empowerment...Seeking help for addictions...is seen as a major umbrage to the Asian individual, family, and extended Asian community.....when it comes to addictions, there is scant attention given to Asians. Part of the limited attention lies in the age-old Asian custom of secrecy, silence, and shame. From an Asian addict's perspective, it's the ultimate blow of humiliation to be seen as weak since having an addiction goes against Asian social norms......The mere acknowledgement of an Asian person having a problem is going against cultural norms because it sends the implicit message to others that you have let them down....internal shame in Korea comes when a person has not lived up to the community's rules and expectations. This internal shame is very prevalent among Asians and Koreans. It functions to build group harmony and unity.”In addition, Asian shame is intricately tied to the fear of rejection and loss of both familial and cultural community support...is more profoundly associated with the fear that one's inadequacies will result in the loss of union with or expulsion from the group”. “Chinese parents readily discuss and disclose children's transgressions in front of strangers to induce shame and to socialize children to behave properly…given the greater valuation of shame in collectivist cultures compared to individualistic ones, it should not be surprising that in many East Asian and other collectivist contexts shame plays a more salient role in everyday life.”...in shame-based cultures, public humiliation, scorn, or censure are relied upon more heavily to keep individuals in obedience whereas the western notion of guilt and corrective behaviors comes from an individual's development of an internal conscience."Remember, 'Shame' means hide/hidden - don't get caught or be found out.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, Support the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.“Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest or them all”? How do you answer that question for you? Learn to love self, before you can love others.I use that thing called EMDR to work on the distorted image of self. What is this thing called EMDR? It is Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing. What a mouth full!I can talk about it til the cows come home, but you will still have frowns on your eyebrows. Watch a few of the video clips: https://youtu.be/9uE04Blfd-Q?si=MrNZZmCAgmTmOUo7  EMDR (Prince Harry) experiencehttps://youtu.be/M2ra8p4MSOkhttps://youtu.be/bIJZQAr9nQohttps://youtu.be/HNdMHuwvF_Mhttps://youtu.be/xZVw-9ThmSMStop accepting the crumbs off the table. The brain's dialogue with you can go like this: “It's better to have someone, than no one; but people are not safe. Keep them at arms-length and be ready to retreat quickly, if you get a whiff or hint that they are unhappy and may finish with you. It is best to torpedo the relationship; jettison it and protect your heart from further pain, before they do it to you. So, throw in a hand grenade (effectively, to create conflict so as to force the other person to have to leave and finish with you); and then the ‘fait accompli' kicks in, where – ‘I knew they would finish with me at some point'. (When in fact that was not necessarily what they were planning); more important that you do it to them, before they do it to you, because it hurts less, done that way and you are then in more control of the pain, than if it is done to you and you were caught off guard (again). “Do onto others, before they do it to you” – is being played out repeatedly. It all makes logical sense to your brain, even if it doesn't to you!Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, Support the show

New Year's Resolutions Are a Lie.And if you've ever failed one, this episode will explain exactly why.Every January, millions of people promise to change their lives from losing weight, quitting alcohol, getting fit, being disciplined, levelling up.And by February… most are back to old habits.In this raw solo episode of The Breaking Free Podcast,  I  expose why New Year's resolutions almost always fail,  and it has nothing to do with motivation, willpower, or laziness.This short episode dives deep into:Why your subconscious programming sabotages resolutions.How short-term gratification keeps you stuck in the same cycles.The real reason discipline feels so hard in modern society.Why “trying harder” never works long term.How to build real, lasting change that actually sticks.This episode is a truth-bomb on how to stop lying to yourself, stop running unconscious programs, and start playing the long game with your health, habits, and life.If you're serious about making 2026 different, this episode is your wake-up call.Thank you for listening wherever in the world you are!Jump on BonCharge and grab yourself some protection  from wifi, 5G, blue/red light and so much more…At the Checkout Use Code “Nath22” to receive 15% offRight here: https://www.boncharge.com/?rfsn=7434501.689abcConnect With Me (Nathan Francis Coach/Mentor) Substack: https://substack.com/@nathanfrancisFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/OSS.Health.MindPersonal Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nath.francis69Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nathanfrancis222?_t=8iKxXw8R2ee&_r=1Telegram: https://t.me/nathf94  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nathanfrancis__/Email me anytime: nathanselfsabotage@gmail.comThe Breaking Free Podcast Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1fHxmfbFZwyZPIcOrjw3Hf?si=q42PtUR4Qeu8SvUuWDMrpwApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/breaking-free-podcast/id1657951151Youtube: https://youtube.com/@nathanfrancis__?si=df69YA7zK-CUeG8-  

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.There is a difference between men and women and how they raise boy children - isn't there!Am I allowed to even pose that question? What does emasculation of men mean? A browser search result says about Emasculation: 'It refers to the perceived loss of traditional masculine attributes, such as strength and power, often resulting from societal changes or dynamics in relationship'.Were those traditional values 'fit for purpose anyway'? What does the new attributes look like? Are men trying to make them fit, but experiencing a straight jacket effect?When men do not feel that they are getting it right, the desire to self-soothe to manage emotions, is all the more prevalent.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormones,Support the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.What's a “Russian Doll” (or is it called a Babushka) got to do with Sex, Porn, Love Addiction?I thought you would never ask!“I haven't bought into that nonsense “Big boys don't cry”, when I was growing up”. At least, I don't think so”!That guy called John Bowlby in the 1940's dared to put together some suppositions that I didn't like. How dare he put me in a box and think that he knows me. Yet, “Oh my goodness, that stuff he is talking about me; describes me. I don't like this. Anyway, I am a complex being made by God and only Sigmund Freud can unravel the complexities of me”. (This was my coping strategy that I used to avoid getting penetrated and having to go and see those busy-body counsellors and tell them about my growing up stuff, so they could sort me out).The inner child was curled up deep inside the Russian Doll, with layers of protection, to avoid people that I give my heart to, hurting me again. "Big boys don't cry". Therefore, grown up boys absolutely cannot cry. A man's man get's up, stop crying and whimpering and gets on with it. Stiff British lip stuff. (PS: Is that the upper or lower lip that is stiff. I always wondered!)What is the framework and straight jacket which society (which is us) has given men? Is it the right fit? If it isn't, how do we break out and re-invent ourselves?What baton? What generational/family script has been handed on to each of us?What is masculinity? What does it mean? Is it controversial to even ask the question? Too dangerous for me to even dare to begin to offer a 'take'. What does that mean for a progressive society?More questions than answers in this episode.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormones,Support the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.Russian dolls very well illustrates the brain's attempts to protect and guard us from repeat pain from situations experienced in the childhood development years. The real us, may have got stunted, where the brain built layers and layers around the inner child from the time of early developmental traumas and uncomfortable issues.By adulthood, maybe you no longer know who is the 'Real' you. You get a split second sight of him (very rarely), but before you are ready, he pops back in and disappears.When you get that split second sighting, you know you could get to like him, but as you hold up your hands to beckon him to stay, just as quickly, he disappears. (Make sense to anyone?)You learn to present a version of you, dependent upon the persona you think that group of people want to see or have got use to seeing; but it may not be the real authentic you. It may have got tiring living in that mould and you have outgrow that version of you, but the 'system' won't let you change and metamorphose into a different version of you. You are stuck. The coat no longer fits. So you self-soothe with P....Men are “Wild at heart”. That book (by that title) by John Eldredge – maybe is on to something. There is something that is not done “good enough” during childhood development. The brain then sets about trying to fill the deficits with coping strategies – Sex, Porn and/or Love Compulsive activities enter the mix, after the game console or sports, ain't doing it well enough.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormones,Support the show

In this powerful episode of Breaking Free, I sit down with Dr. Trish Leigh renowned Neuro Coach, author, and leading expert in the neuroscience of behaviour and addiction. We dive deep into the hard truth young men are avoiding: porn, dopamine dysregulation, and erectile dysfunction are silently destroying modern masculinity.Dr. Trish breaks down exactly what porn is doing to your brain, why dopamine is the currency of your motivation, and how compulsive digital habits are rewiring an entire generation of men into weakness, anxiety, and sexual dysfunction. No mucking around here, just neuroscience, lived evidence, and solutions.We explore:How porn hijacks the male brainDopamine overload and the collapse of disciplineThe rise of ED in young men and why no one is talking about itHow to rewire your brain for strength, confidence, and emotional controlPractical tools to rebuild your masculinity from the inside outIf you're a man ready to break the cycle, reclaim your mental power, and step into the strongest version of yourself, this episode will hit home.Thank you for listening and watching wherever in the world you are. Jump on BonCharge and grab yourself some protection  from wifi, 5G, blue/red light and so much more…At the Checkout Use Code “Nath22” to receive 15% offRight here: https://www.boncharge.com/?rfsn=7434501.689abcConnect With Trish Leigh:Website: https://drtrishleigh.com/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrTrishLeighFOR BRAIN BASED CONDITIONS: https://www.youtube.com/@SupernormalbyDrTrishLeigh/videosFOR PARTNERS: https://www.youtube.com/@sanityafterbetrayal /https://sanityafterbetrayal.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/drtrishleigh/BOOK: https://drtrishleigh.com/book/Connect With Me (Nathan Francis Coach/Mentor) Substack: https://substack.com/@nathanfrancisFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/OSS.Health.MindPersonal Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nath.francis69Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nathanfrancis222?_t=8iKxXw8R2ee&_r=1Telegram: https://t.me/nathf94  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nathanfrancis__/Email me anytime: nathanselfsabotage@gmail.comThe Breaking Free Podcast Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1fHxmfbFZwyZPIcOrjw3Hf?si=q42PtUR4Qeu8SvUuWDMrpwApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/breaking-free-podcast/id1657951151Youtube: https://youtube.com/@nathanfrancis__?si=df69YA7zK-CUeG8- 

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.We need you ladies. Don't give up on us yet!So much more practical in finding solutions. Teach us please ladies. We need you. I am convinced that women have been endowed with an extra perceptive sense which us men do not have. You see danger in innocuous situations that us men just glaze our eyes over, until..... 'Too late guy'.Us men have become emasculated by a society. What does masculinity mean? Aren't there two roles – Masculinity & Femininity? Aren't they different? Don't they complement each other, to create a balanced society? Too simplistic Gary?We need someone in our life to role-model the sexual type that belongs to each of us. Without it, so many are floundering on the high seas, trying to do the best with the best that they have been handed. “Life isn't fair” - I decided, long ago.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormones,Support the show

JOIN THE 7 DAY RESET - ▶️ www.therebuiltman.com/7dayreset   In this episode of The Rebuilt Man, Coach Frank breaks down one of the most overlooked weapons in porn addiction recovery: sleep. Not rest. Not relaxation. Strategic, optimized, performance-level sleep.   Frank reveals why sleep is the foundation of discipline, willpower, emotional control, and neuroplasticity — and how the lack of it leaves men vulnerable to cravings, relapse, and identity drift.   You'll learn seven science-backed strategies for rebuilding your sleep, restoring your mental clarity, boosting testosterone, and strengthening your ability to lead yourself like the man you were created to be.   If you want to enhance discipline, reduce nighttime urges, and rebuild your identity — this episode gives you the exact blueprint.   KEY TAKEAWAYS Sleep is not a luxury — it's a weapon in recovery. Deep sleep restores discipline, decision-making, and self-leadership. Neuroplasticity — the rewiring of your brain — happens during deep sleep. Low sleep crushes testosterone, motivation, and masculine drive. A consistent sleep cycle stabilizes dopamine and reduces cravings. Eliminating nighttime screens dramatically reduces porn urges. Morning sunlight regulates your circadian rhythm and boosts melatonin. Hard physical training increases sleep depth and hormonal health. The optimal sleep environment is cold, dark, and quiet. Brotherhood and accountability make transformation sustainable. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE Why cravings intensify at night — and what exhaustion does to the brain. How sleep directly impacts your ability to say "no" to urges. The hidden link between sleep deprivation and relapse cycles. How poor sleep mimics being mildly intoxicated (decision-making drops). Seven practical sleep optimization strategies you can implement tonight: Consistent sleep/wake schedule 90-minute no-screen policy Morning sunlight exposure Hard physical training Stop eating 3–4 hours before bed Cold, dark sleep environment   Magnesium, hydration, and recovery rhythm Join the Brotherhood If you're ready to stop fighting alone and step into a container built for growth, support, and freedom: ➡ Join The Rebuilt Man Skool Community — Free 7-Day Trial www.TheRebuiltMan.com/7dayreset Inside you'll gain access to: Daily accountability Weekly coaching The 7-Day Reset The 12-Week "Reboot Your Life" Framework And a brotherhood of men who refuse to quit   – Follow Coach Frank: IG - https://www.instagram.com/coachfrankrich   YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@CoachFrankRich   Website - https://www.rebuiltrecovery.com/homepage

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'?: A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.Impediments to having great relationships:Disruption in the bonding in early childhood development with the significant caregivers (usually parents), is a key factor. The male (a father) plays a very important role. Masculinity cannot be entirely and comprehensively supplemented by a mother. It is not “do as I say”, it is “do as you see me doing”. The eyes take in the largest amount of information during the communication process.What gets set up in childhood, plays out in adulthood, in how we interact with others; seeking to bond, yet avoid repeat hurt. It is called Insecure Attachment. Insecure Attachment in Adulthood, often presents as “Love Addiction”, where the individual is not so much chasing Love, but connection; acceptance; to be inclusive; to be wanted; to be secure.The stuff of Sex, Porn, Love Addiction is indiscriminate. It impacts, in a significant way, women, children, men, LGBTQI community - cutting across all of the societal stratas and ages - (aged 9 to 75). The scale of addiction is staggering and is at pandemic levels:•          12% of all internet websites contain pornography.•          25% of all search engine queries—68 million per day—relate to sex.•          35% of all downloads are pornographic.•          70% of men aged 18–24 visit porn sites monthly.•          Average first exposure: 11 years old.•          1 in 5 pastors struggle with pornography.•          Over 50% of practising Christians report occasional porn use.•          Neurodivergent individuals show higher compulsive-use rates. Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormones,Support the show

In this Super Human Life Masterclass, Coach Frank Rich brings together three of the most impactful interviews ever recorded with Dr. Trish Leigh, world-renowned cognitive neuroscientist, brain performance coach, and expert on porn addiction recovery  to deliver one of the most comprehensive breakdowns on the science of rewiring your brain for freedom and purpose.   Across Episodes 47, 55, and 255, Dr. Trish and Frank have explored how porn impacts the brain, disrupts motivation, and disconnects men from their God-given potential. Now, for the first time, we've compiled the best insights and moments into a single masterclass episode, so you can understand what's really happening inside your brain and how to rebuild it through faith, purpose, and discipline   In This Masterclass, You'll Learn: The differences between the male and female brain  and how men are neurologically wired for addiction.   How porn hijacks your motivation and destroys your ability to pursue real goals.   Why porn addiction isn't sexual, it's stress-related and rooted in emotional escape.   The root cause of porn-induced erectile dysfunction and how to restore healthy sexual performance.   How processing trauma unlocks true recovery and emotional resilience.   How brain mapping technology exposes fantasy loops, objectification, and addictive neural pathways.   The link between porn use and disrupted flow states  and how to restore focus and creativity.   The power of neuroplasticity to rewire your brain for strength, discipline, and freedom.   Why purpose in work, relationships, and hobbies is essential to lasting transformation.   How scrolling has become the new smoking and what it's doing to your dopamine.   The link between porn consumption and rising sexual violence and abuse in society.   How men can reclaim their identity and integrity through faith, community, and mission.     About Dr. Trish Leigh Dr. Trish Leigh is a cognitive neuroscientist, certified brain performance coach, and international speaker specializing in helping people overcome porn addiction, ADHD, anxiety, and compulsive behaviors through brain-based recovery.   With over 25 years of experience in neurofeedback and neuroscience, Dr. Leigh is the founder of Dr. Trish Leigh Academy, where she teaches individuals how to retrain their brains, break free from addiction, and live with purpose. Her approach blends cutting-edge science, psychology, and Christian principles to help men and women optimize their focus, performance, and fulfillment.   Connect with Dr. Trish Leigh: Website - https://drtrishleigh.com/   YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@PornBrainRewireDrTrishLeigh   Podcast - https://pod.link/1569715397   -- Connect with Frank and The Super Human Life on Social Media: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachfrankrich/   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/584284948647477/   Website: http://www.thesuperhumanlifepodcast.com/tshlhome   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjB4UrpxtNO2AFtDURMzo

Recovering from porn isn't just a mental game—it's an emotional one.In this episode, I'm breaking down the powerful connection between emotional intelligence and porn addiction recovery, and showing you how learning to master your emotions can transform your marriage, your communication, and your ability to stay sober for good.Most men try to “think” their way out of porn addiction, but relapse doesn't happen in the mind—it happens in the heart. When fear, shame, or sadness go unprocessed, they convert into anger, craving, and disconnection. Emotional pain becomes a trigger, and before you know it, you're back in the cycle of porn use, guilt, and regret.But it doesn't have to stay that way.In this episode, I teach you how to apply my RAIL Method™—a five-step process that cultivates emotional awareness, self-leadership, and confidence under pressure. You'll learn how to understand your emotions, stay grounded during marriage conflict, and see the good intentions beneath both your own reactions and your wife's.By the end of this episode, you'll know how to:Use emotional intelligence to defuse conflict in your marriage.Understand how porn cravings stem from unmet emotional needs.Build emotional safety and connection with your wife through self-awareness.Turn painful emotions like anger and shame into powerful tools for recovery.Lead your relationship with calm confidence, clarity, and compassion.Link to Blog Article for this Episode HEREIf you're ready to stop letting your emotions control you—and start using them to strengthen your marriage and deepen your recovery—this one's for you, brother.And if you're serious about taking this work deeper, check out The RAIL Method™ Online Course, where I teach you how to regulate emotions, reduce porn cravings, and rebuild real intimacy step by step.You can also catch me teaching this method live during the Porn Resilient Online Summit (Oct 13–16)—alongside 20 other experts in emotional and sexual healing, and grab the All-Access Implementation Bundle for lifetime access to all recorded interviews + courses and resources (including my RAIL Method™ online course) for an absolutely unreal price. Porn addiction recovery isn't about fighting harder—it's about feeling deeper, healing smarter, and leading yourself and your relationship from the inside out.Support the showNo More Desire

In this powerful episode of The Covenant Eyes Podcast, hosts Karen Potter and Theo McManigal sit down with Dr. Eddie Capparucci, a licensed Christian therapist and creator of the Inner Child Model, to discuss how faith, emotional healing, and practical therapy work together to break the chains of p*rn*graphy addiction.Eddie shares his story of leaving corporate America to follow God's calling into counseling, explains how unresolved childhood pain shapes addictive behavior, and offers actionable tools for emotional regulation and recovery.You'll learn:•  Why understanding your “inner child” is key to healing from addiction.•  How faith and psychology can work together seamlessly.•  What to do after a relapse and how to regulate emotions.•  How tools like Covenant Eyes support long-term freedom and accountability.

In this Coaches Corner edition of The Rebuilt Man Show, Coach Frank Rich sits down with Sathiya Sam, recovery coach, author, and founder of DeepClean.   Sathiya opens up about his own battle with pornography, what finally led him to freedom, and how he's now helping thousands of men do the same. Together, Frank and Sathiya unpack the real barriers that keep men stuck: pride, isolation, and lack of purpose and reveal how building community, humility, and small early wins can spark lasting transformation.   They also explore the future of porn in a tech-driven world and why real human connection will always be the ultimate antidote.   This conversation is raw, practical, and packed with hope. If you've ever felt stuck, ashamed, or ready to quit fighting, this one will show you the path forward.     Key Takeaways Porn isn't just a bad habit, it's a barrier to your purpose.   Community beats isolation. Healing happens with brothers, not alone.   Quick wins matter. Early victories build hope and momentum.   Pride keeps you stuck. Humility opens the door to healing and grace.   The porn landscape is evolving. But the answer has always been  and always will be  real human connection.   Perseverance is key. The only way you lose is if you quit.       Who is Sathiya Sam? Sathiya Sam is the dynamic founder of DeepClean—a coaching powerhouse liberating men from the grips of pornography addiction. With a background steeped in academia and interpersonal research, Sathiya brings a unique blend of intellect and empathy to the table. As an accomplished author, international speaker, and the mastermind behind the "Man Within" podcast, he dives deep into the intersection of timeless principles and cutting-edge science, guiding his audiences through in-depth transformational processes. With a decade of pastoral experience fueling his passion, Sathiya is on a mission to unleash the full potential in every individual, helping them lead lives of purpose, fulfillment and freedom.   Sathiya's impact extends far and wide, having helped thousands of men break free from pornography through DeepClean's transformative system. Renowned for his ability to break down complex concepts into easily digestible insights, Sathiya makes profound principles practical, offering actionable steps for real-life transformation. His unwavering commitment to inspiring freedom through hope has earned him a reputation as a beacon of empowerment and positive change in the realm of personal development, especially amongst men.     Man Within Podcast - www.sathiyasam.com/podcast    The Last Relapse (Book) - www.thelastrelapsebook.com   DeepClean Inner Circle - https://deepcleancoaching.com/innercircle      – Follow Coach Frank: IG - https://www.instagram.com/coachfrankrich   YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@CoachFrankRich   Website - https://www.rebuiltrecovery.com/homepage

Struggling with p*rnography? You're not alone. In this episode of the Covenant Eyes Podcast, hosts Karen Potter and Theo McManigal sit down with Dann Aungst, founder of Road to Purity and author of From One Addict to Another and 40 Days to Freedom. Dann shares his powerful 30-year journey through addiction, his path to recovery, and how God's grace transformed his life and marriage.

JOIN “THE REBUILT MAN” ON SKOOL - ▶️ www.skool.com/rebootyourlife   Traditional recovery models focus on filters, willpower, and endless support groups. But if you've tried those methods and still find yourself stuck in the cycle of porn addiction, you know they don't work.   In this episode of The Rebuilt Man Podcast, Coach Frank Rich reveals why most men stay trapped and how the Reboot Your Life program offers a radically different, proven path to freedom.   Instead of just managing behavior, Reboot Your Life helps men rebuild their identity, faith, body, and purpose. This holistic, action-driven system integrates faith, fitness, daily structure, and brotherhood so you can finally break free and become the man you were born to be.   Whether you've battled porn for years or feel stuck in the shame cycle, this conversation will give you clarity, hope, and a roadmap for lasting transformation.    

In this conversation, Sathiya and Drew discuss the journey of healing from pornography addiction, emphasizing the importance of outgrowing porn rather than simply quitting. They explore the impact of purity culture on men's sexuality, the significance of vulnerability and connection in recovery, and the role of curiosity in understanding triggers. Drew shares insights from his book 'Outgrow Porn' and highlights the necessity of taking redemptive risks in the healing process. The discussion culminates in the importance of community support and celebrating every step of the journey toward freedom.   SIGN UP FOR OUR FREE MASTERCLASS   Know more about Drew's Work:  Get Drew's New Book: Outgrow Porn Discount code: DEEPCLEAN Access Husband Material Website   Know more about Sathiya's work: JOIN DEEP CLEAN INNER CIRCLE Submit A Question (Anonymously) Through This Form Get A Free Copy of The Last Relapse, A Blueprint For Recovery Watch Sathiya on Youtube For More Content Like This   Chapters:  (00:00) Introduction and Background (02:52) The Philosophy of Outgrowing Porn (05:47) The Impact of Purity Culture (08:50) Healing from Purity Culture (12:09) Vulnerability and Connection (15:05) Navigating Temptation and Relapse (17:58) Curiosity and Sexual Development (20:51) The Process of Urge Surfing (31:56) Mindfulness and Emotional Awareness (34:42) Understanding Triggers: Pain vs. Pleasure (39:35) The Role of Implicit Memories (41:27) Rigidity and Disengagement in Addiction (47:29) Redemptive Risks in Recovery

Join me as I celebrate 150 episodes of the Unhooked Podcast! In this special episode, I share 10 transformative lessons I've learned from over 300,000 downloads and years of experience helping people recover from porn addiction. These lessons cover essential topics like battling shame, the importance of community, the power of mindfulness, and much more. This episode is a must-listen for anyone on a journey to recovery or personal growth. Don't miss out on these invaluable insights!--------

Text Me!Episode 232: Healing Shame: One Man's Journey Through Porn Addiction w/ Jeremy LipkowitzIn episode 232 of the Sober Vibes podcast, Courtney Andersen welcomes Jeremy Lipkowitz to the show and they discuss porn addticiton and overcoming shame.Jeremy opens up about his 15-year journey with porn addiction, beginning at age seven with a lingerie catalog and escalating to hours of daily online consumption by college. They unpack how porn rewires the brain, disrupts relationships, and becomes a hidden coping mechanism for emotional pain. Through his personal story and coaching expertise, Jeremy offers genuine, compassionate insight into how individuals can initiate the process of healing, recovery, and reconnection with themselves and others.Whether you're personally affected, love someone who struggles, or are raising kids in this digital world, this conversation is a must-listen.What you will learn:The three “A's” that make porn addiction uniquely powerful: affordable, accessible, and anonymousHow pornography addiction affects the brain, emotional health, and relationshipsWhat betrayal trauma is and how it affects partners of porn addictsWhy recovery is about mindfulness, connection, and healing not willpower aloneHow to raise kids in a world where explicit content is just a swipe awayPractical steps to start recovering from porn addiction or support a loved one who is Key Takeaways:Addiction often begins with early exposure and escalates over time with tech accessPorn hijacks the brain's dopamine system and creates a craving for novelty over intimacyMost porn addicts live a double life rooted in shame, secrecy, and emotional numbingSocial media can act as a slippery slope toward pornography and compulsive behaviorHealing involves community, mindfulness, nervous system regulation, and inner child workConnect with Jeremy Lipkowitz:Website & CoachingPodcastYouTubeInstagramResources Mentioned:Courtney's WebsiteAnxious Generation Podcast Sponsor-Ready to go deeper in your emotional sobriety journey? Grab The After program — my complete guide with video coaching + workbook tools — and save $15 with code AFTER: GRAB IT HERE! Ready to thrive in your alcohol-free life? Sober Vibes: A Guide to Thriving in Your First Three Months Without Alcohol is your step-by-step guide to navigating early sobriety with confidence.Grab your copy today!Thank you for listening! Help the show by Rating, Reviewing, and/or Subscribing to the Sober Vibes Podcast. Connect w/ Courtney:InstagramJoin the Sobriety Circle Apply for 1:1 CoachingOrder the Sober Vibes Book