Fly To Freedom: Healing from an eating disorder

In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I'm joined by writer, speaker, and podcast host Brianne Roberge for a deeply honest conversation about self-worth, trauma, and the belief that love has to be earned.We talk about what happens when you grow up learning to perform for approval, to change yourself to be acceptable, and to control your body in the hope that it will finally make you feel worthy. Brianne shares her personal journey through pageant culture, extreme physical control, cosmetic surgery, serious health consequences, and the moment everything began to shift when she stopped trying to fix herself and started listening instead.This conversation will resonate deeply if eating disorder recovery or anorexia recovery has felt less about food — and more about learning how to stay with yourself, even when it's uncomfortable.This episode includes discussion of childhood trauma and sexual abuse. Please listen gently and take pauses if you need to.In this episode, we explore:How early experiences can teach us to earn love through performance and self-erasureWhy changing the body can feel like the solution when the wound underneath is emotionalThe link between trauma, people-pleasing, and body control in eating disorder recoveryWhat happens when the body starts signalling that something isn't rightThe difference between self-care and true self-loveLearning to stay with uncomfortable feelings instead of abandoning yourselfWhy self-worth is not something you can earn by becoming someone elseHow finding your voice can change relationships — and sometimes end themWhat freedom begins to feel like when you stop hustling for loveSo many people in eating disorder recovery and anorexia recovery recognise the pattern Brianne describes — trying to be smaller, better, quieter, more disciplined, or more acceptable in order to feel safe and loved.This episode gently unpacks why those strategies never bring lasting peace, and why healing begins when worth stops being conditional.Brianne Roberge is a writer, speaker, and podcast host who shares openly about trauma healing, self-worth, embodiment, and learning how to come home to yourself after a lifetime of performing for love.You can connect with Brianne here:Instagram: @itsbriannerobergeFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/itsbriannerobergeWebsite: https://www.brianneroberge.comPodcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5zTzthDnf5Bt5hM08FSDAkYouTube: linked via her websiteIf this episode stirred something in you, that makes sense.These beliefs often form early, and unlearning them takes time, patience, and compassion.You don't have to become someone else to be worthy.You are allowed to stop performing.You are allowed to stay with yourself.

Welcome to the January Q&A episode of Fly to Freedom.This monthly Q&A comes directly from inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle and features real questions from real people navigating the complex, emotional, and deeply human process of eating disorder recovery.In this episode, Julia answers questions around nervous system regulation, identity, extreme hunger, perfectionism, control, and the exhausting cycle of food and exercise. These are conversations for anyone who wants recovery, but feels overwhelmed, unsure, or afraid of letting go of the strategies that once felt safe.Throughout the episode, Julia explores how healing is not about fixing yourself, but about learning how to stay with yourself — even when fear is loud, even when the body feels dysregulated, and even when recovery feels slow.How to regulate the nervous system during eating disorder recovery without forcing calmWhy recovery can feel threatening to the body, even when it's what you wantWhat nervous system regulation really looks like when fear and panic are presentExtreme hunger in recovery: why some people experience it strongly and others don'tWhy feeling full quickly or disconnected from hunger cues is common and meaningfulHow anxiety, stress, and past restriction affect digestion and hunger signalsIdentity confusion in long-term eating disorder recoveryHow to tell where the eating disorder ends and where you beginPerfectionism, control, sensitivity, and self-imposed rules — coping strategies, not character flawsPerimenopause, ageing, and emotional sensitivity in recoveryLetting go of control while learning to feel safe in your bodyGoing “all in” with food and exercise without overwhelming your nervous systemWhy recovery is about presence, not perfection or speedHow compassion and safety create sustainable healingThis episode is for you if you:Feel dysregulated or panicked during recoveryWorry that your hunger signals are “wrong”Feel unsure who you are without the eating disorderFeel stuck in cycles of food challenges and compensatory behavioursWant recovery, but need it to honour your nervous system and capacityJulia gently reminds you that your responses make sense, your body is protecting you, and recovery is about coming home to yourself — not becoming someone else.If you want ongoing support alongside therapy or clinical care, this is exactly the kind of conversation that happens every month inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle.Inside the circle, members receive:Monthly live Q&A sessionsGroup coaching callsExpert-led workshops and coursesThe Feelings Navigator to help you work with emotions in the moment24/7 peer support from people who truly understand eating disorder recoveryYou are welcome exactly as you are, and you do not have to do recovery alone.

Bulimia can feel confusing, shame-filled, and deeply misunderstood — especially when the binge–purge cycle starts to feel automatic, secretive, or bigger than willpower.In this episode of Fly To Freedom, I'm joined by Dr Rachel Evans (psychologist, hypnotherapist, and host of the Just Eat Normally podcast). Rachel brings both lived experience and specialist knowledge of bulimia, and she helps me unpack what bulimia actually is, why the behaviours happen, and how recovery can become possible — even when things have felt stuck for a long time.We talk about the psychology and biology behind bingeing and purging, the role of fear and compulsion, and the myths that keep people trapped — including myths around calories, laxatives, and exercise. I also share openly that my lived experience is with anorexia, not bulimia, and I invite Rachel to guide the conversation with accuracy and compassion.How Rachel describes bulimia (and why diagnosis labels can feel vague or limiting)What makes a binge feel like a binge (including secrecy, speed, dissociation, and “I can't stop” urgency)The different types of compensatory behaviours, including vomiting, laxatives, fasting, and compulsive exerciseWhy it's often the intention and fear underneath a behaviour that shows whether it's becoming a problemThe myths people get taught about laxatives and purging, and why they're never the “solution” the eating disorder promisesHow exercise can become a form of purging — even when it looks “healthy” from the outsideWhy bingeing and purging can create a “high” or sense of relief (and how that reinforces the cycle)Why understanding what the behaviour is doing for you matters more than shameWhy eating disorders often morph and change over time, especially around big life eventsWhy punishment never creates healing — and why compassion and understanding actually change thingsA practical next step: gently noticing patterns (feelings, triggers, restriction, urges) without judgementRecovery is possible. You can live without the constant shadow of food thoughts, urges, shame, and compensation. You deserve support that helps you understand what's driving the cycle — and what to do instead.Rachel is a psychologist and hypnotherapist, and the host of the Just Eat Normally podcast. She has lived experience of bulimia recovery and supports people who want to step out of the binge–purge cycle for good.Website: eatingdisordertherapist.co.ukInstagram: rachel.evans.phdPodcast: Just Eat NormallyI also share where you can find ongoing support inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle: https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/You can find more recovery tips and 1:1 coaching at Juliatrehane.com And you can always find me over on Instagram @juliatrehane

This was a tough episode to record, but I've felt that it needed to be recorded for some time. I'd like your comments! Please tell me if you agree with what I'm saying, if you disagree, how are you affected...... anything! This needs to be talked about.Why? Because weight loss injections are everywhere at the moment.It's not the medication itself that matters most to me — it's the message travelling with it.In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I speak openly about why the current cultural obsession with appetite suppression feels so unsettling, especially through the lens of eating disorder recovery, nervous system health, and body trust.I must say that this is not a medical episode.It is not advice.It is not a judgement of anyone's choices.It is a deeply human conversation about what happens when hunger is framed as a flaw, appetite is treated as something to eliminate, and smaller bodies are quietly sold as safer, better, and more worthy.Together, we explore how weight loss injections are being positioned not just as a treatment, but as an idea — the idea that the body is a problem to solve, that discomfort should be bypassed, and that control equals responsibility. She unpacks why this message can feel like relief in a world that already teaches body hatred, and why that relief can still come at a cost.This episode looks at:How appetite suppression reshapes our relationship with hunger, sensation, and trustWhy this cultural moment is particularly dangerous for people in eating disorder recoveryThe nervous system impact of living in a world that celebrates silencing hungerThe difference between short-term relief and long-term healingHow control around food and weight has become moralisedWhy body dissatisfaction is not vanity, but survival in a judgement-heavy cultureThe familiar patterns that fuel eating disorder cycles — even when they appear calm or “responsible”Who benefits when bodies are treated as problems, and who quietly pays the priceI speak honestly about the grief, fear, anger, and confusion this movement can stir — especially for those learning that eating is safe, that hunger can be trusted, and that bodies are not enemies.If you are using weight loss injections, or considering them, you are welcome here. This episode does not pull the ground from beneath you. It gently asks where worth has been taught to live, and whether shrinking has become the price of belonging.At the core, I want to ask you a quieter, deeper question:What kind of relationship do you want to have with your body over a lifetime — one built on control, or one built on trust?Choosing body trust in a culture that profits from doubt is countercultural. It can feel lonely. It can feel scary. And it is deeply powerful.This is why The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle exists — to talk about hunger, fear, worth, and bodies out loud, together. Not to fix bodies, but to support real people navigating a very loud world.If this sort of life is what you're searching for, I encourage you to reach out. Steps to take now:Subscribe to this podcastFollow me on InstagramJoin my Email FamilyTake the best step and join us in the Circle.Whatever you do, just keep taking recovery actions. Every day.

After nearly 150 episodes of Fly to Freedom, I've been reflecting on the conversations that have genuinely shifted people forward in eating disorder recovery — and this one comes up again and again. This is a re-release of my December 2024 chat with Chris Sandel (Real Health Radio), and it's one of the most listened-to episodes for a reason.Chris and I talk about full recovery from an eating disorder (yes, full), why “consuming information” can become a way to stall, and why action is what changes the brain — even when anxiety is loud. We also explore how eating disorders function like anxiety disorders (avoidance, fear, and the nervous system), why tiny “safe” changes often keep the eating disorder in charge, and what it actually looks like to rebuild a life with identity, freedom, and joy.If eating disorder recovery has felt like Groundhog Day — the same rules, the same prison, the same fear — this conversation will help you see a clearer path out.Why full recovery is possible (and why “settling for less” keeps people stuck) Buzzsprout+1The most common recovery trap: learning everything… and changing nothing beefound.agency+1Why meaningful recovery changes must be big enough to shift physiology (not negotiated down)Eating disorders as anxiety disorders: avoidance, fear of consequences, and exposure Cue Podcasts+1How to work with thoughts without getting trapped in analysing them (ACT-style approach)Identity after an eating disorder: filling the “void” with life, connection, and purposeA practical “start today” framework: support, one clear goal, one coping tool, then actionChris Sandel is a nutritionist and coach, founder of Seven Health, and host of Real Health Radio. He specialises in helping people move beyond harm reduction and into lasting, full eating disorder recovery.If this episode helps, a five-star rating genuinely helps Fly to Freedom reach more people who need recovery supportChris Sandel / Seven Health: https://seven-health.comChris's podcast (Real Health Radio): https://seven-health.com/podcast/

Welcome to Fly to Freedom, and a gentle Happy New Year.This first episode of 2026 explores perfectionism in eating disorder recovery through a nervous system lens, focusing on the constant pressure to be doing things right.This episode may resonate if recovery feels structured, controlled, or driven by self-pressure, even when motivation and care are present.This episode speaks to the quiet, ongoing pressure many people feel to stay on track, stay capable, and keep doing things properly. A sense that effort needs to continue. That vigilance needs to remain. That doing things right somehow keeps everything steady.Many notice this pressure not as a thought, but as a bodily state. A leaning forward. A readiness. An internal monitoring that rarely switches off. The feeling that effort is required to remain safe, acceptable, or okay.These patterns develop because they once created structure and predictability. When being organised, prepared, or impressive reduced risk or increased belonging, the nervous system learned to stay alert. Over time, doing things right began to feel essential rather than optional.In this episode, I explore how this pressure shows up across everyday life and recovery. In productivity that feels regulating. In difficulty resting. In managing time carefully. In control around food that appears disciplined or generous. In recovery itself becoming something to perform well. These responses emerge because the nervous system is adapting to uncertainty.Perfectionism and eating disorders often reinforce one another because both offer clarity and structure. Rules reduce ambiguity. Control brings temporary relief. As recovery unfolds and old frameworks soften, the pressure to do things right often relocates rather than disappearing.Change unfolds through experience rather than insight alone. Each moment of resting while things remain unfinished allows the nervous system to register safety. Each experience of being accepted while imperfect reshapes threat responses. Gradually, the body learns that safety exists without constant effort.Growth rarely follows a straight line. Calm and fear frequently coexist. Softening unfolds alongside vigilance. Movement forward arrives at a pace the nervous system can absorb.Inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, these experiences are held with shared language, nervous system awareness, and support from people who recognise the realities of recovery. The perfectionism workshop connected to this episode is available within the circle and offers space to practise safety, embodiment, and gentler ways of being.This episode offers an orientation rather than a task.When the pressure to do things right appears, curiosity can soften the moment.A quiet question may arise: What feels at risk if effort eases?Thank you for being here, and for beginning this new year with yourself.That workshop: Visit this web pageMy website: https://www.juliatrehane.com/The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle

Welcome to this episode of Fly To Freedom — a Q and A session filled with real, honest questions from inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle. If recovery has felt confusing, scary, messy, or strangely “too much”… this episode will help you feel understood, and steady again.We talk about the moment recovery starts to feel terrifying rather than freeing — when the eating disorder has been a familiar “safety structure” for so long that choosing freedom can feel disorienting. You'll hear why that wobble often means the brain is rewiring, why belief grows through action, and how to keep moving forwards even when certainty feels far away.This episode also covers some of the most searched (and most misunderstood) parts of eating disorder recovery and anorexia recovery: extreme hunger, constant thoughts about food, panic when hunger hits, fears about “healthy eating” turning into new rules, worries about set point and balance, and the wave of physical symptoms that can arrive during weight restoration.Why recovery can feel unreal and frightening even when you're doing the “right” thingsWhat to do with old photos from the lowest point of the eating disorder (and what it means when sadness shows up)Recovery with a busy life: kids, work, studying, dogs, and chaos — and still choosing freedomGuilt about wanting recovery: why it appears, and how to meet it with courage“All in” as a mindset (not a rigid protocol) — and how to stay committed without turning it into another set of rulesPerfectionism, cleaning, hypervigilance, and anxiety: how these patterns link to the same root system as an eating disorderEating disorder behaviours that start in adulthood: why inner child work still matters, and what it's really aboutThe moment restriction starts feeling “impossible”: why biology can begin protecting you (and why that's a win)“Healthy” rules like five a day or “clean eating”: how to spot restriction dressed up as wellnessConstant food thoughts even at a stable weight: why weight is not a measure of mental recovery, and what food preoccupation often signalsHunger panic and urgency: why it can feel extreme, and how proactive nourishment rebuilds trustExtreme hunger in the evenings: why it happens, how long it can last, and what consistency teaches the bodyItchy, sensitive skin and hair changes during weight restoration (including telogen effluvium) and gentle ways to support your bodyThe longing for “balance” and the fear of being too much: rebuilding an inner compass based on values, not shameRecovery belief grows through repetition and action. Each recovered choice teaches the brain what safety really is.Food obsession often eases through permission and consistency. The brain quiets when it truly trusts that food is allowed and available.Freedom includes flexibility. Nourishment supports health, and a rigid rulebook keeps the eating disorder alive in disguise.A busy life can still hold real recovery. Freedom gets built in real-time moments, right in the middle of everything.Finding Your WHY (inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle) — a powerful anchor for staying committed when fear gets loudFeelings Navigator — support for processing emotions and building safety from the inside outIf this episode resonated, daily support like this exists inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle — with community chat, Q and A sessions, group coaching calls, workshops, on-demand courses, and the Feelings Navigator.Join here: https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join

Christmas can be a beautiful time of year — and it can also feel incredibly overwhelming.There's often pressure to keep going, keep smiling, keep showing up, even when your body and mind are quietly asking for rest. For anyone navigating eating disorder recovery, this season can amplify anxiety, exhaustion, and emotional overload.This Christmas meditation is an invitation to pause.In this episode of Fly To Freedom, I gently guide you into a short, supportive meditation designed to help you slow down, soften the nervous system, and reconnect with yourself when everything feels like too much. There is no fixing, no pushing, and nothing you need to achieve — just space to breathe and be.This meditation is especially for you if:You're feeling overwhelmed by Christmas expectations or social demandsYou're carrying emotional or physical exhaustionYou're in eating disorder recovery and finding this time of year particularly challengingYou need permission to take time out without guiltWe focus on self-care that is simple and human, reminding you that rest is not something you have to earn. Taking time for yourself is part of recovery, not a distraction from it.You are allowed to step back. You are allowed to slow down. You are allowed to choose yourself — even at Christmas.You can return to this meditation whenever you need grounding, reassurance, or a few quiet moments just for you.

In this heartfelt episode of Fly to Freedom, I have the privilege of speaking with Di Archer, the CEO and co-founder of tastelife UK. Di shares her personal journey into the world of eating disorders, detailing how her family's experience led to the creation of tastelife UK—a charity dedicated to providing support, education, and recovery tools for those affected by eating disorders. We delve into the challenges faced by families, the importance of understanding eating disorders beyond the surface, and the transformative power of community support in the recovery process.Key Takeaways:Personal Journey: Di discusses her family's initial lack of understanding about eating disorders and how a personal crisis led to the founding of tastelife UK.Founding of tastelife UK: Established in 2014, tastelife UK offers an 8-session Community Recovery Course designed for individuals and families affected by eating disorders. Community Support: The charity emphasizes the importance of community in recovery, providing a safe space for individuals and families to share experiences and support each other.Prevention and Education: Tastelife UK focuses on prevention by offering resources for young people in schools and youth groups, aiming to equip them with the knowledge to avoid developing eating disorders. Recovery Tools: The Community Recovery Course is non-threatening, educational, and encourages a self-help approach, helping individuals and families break free from eating disorders.Accreditation and Training: Tastelife UK provides accredited training for leaders to run recovery courses, ensuring quality support for those affected. Listen to the full episode here:About Di Archer:Di is a trainer, writer, and speaker with a theological background. Family experience led to her co-founding and now heading up tastelife. She loves working with the gifted tastelife team and volunteers, and is delighted that together they offer such innovative and effective resources for those affected by eating disorders. Di and her husband Graham have three grown-up children, an assortment of gorgeous grandchildren... and a hot tub. The latter for medicinal purposes, of course! (tastelifeuk.org)Connect with Di Archer and tastelife UK:Website: (tastelifeuk.org)Email: di.archer@tastelifeuk.orgSocial Media:Facebook: tastelife UKTwitter: @tastelifeukInstagram: @tastelifeuk

In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I sit down with the wonderful George Mycock, a lived experience PhD researcher at the University of Worcester whose work is reshaping how we understand eating disorders in men.George specialises in men's access to healthcare for eating, exercise, and body image psychopathology, bringing both academic expertise and deeply personal experience to this conversation. He's also the founder of MyoMinds and host of the MyoMinds Podcast — a mental health organisation dedicated to improving understanding of exerciser mental health through research, education, and powerful lived-experience storytelling.Through MyoMinds, George collaborates on a range of national projects, contributes to media across podcasts, radio and TV, and holds influential roles such as serving on the Mental Health and Movement Alliance at Mind and the steering board for the National Audit of Eating Disorders at the Royal College of Psychiatrists. His insight is both academically rich and profoundly human.In our conversation, we explore the hidden landscape of eating disorders in men — an area still surrounded by silence, shame and misunderstanding. Together we talk about:✨ George's lived experience of muscularity-driven disordered eating and compulsive exercise✨ The intense cultural pressure on men to appear “strong” and emotionless✨ How emotional suppression, identity, and masculinity norms shape men's mental health✨ Why so many men feel unwelcome or unseen within eating disorder treatment services✨ What George's research reveals about gender bias in public-facing information✨ The critical need for more inclusive, diverse, and representative research✨ Alexithymia, emotional literacy, and why so many people with eating disorders struggle to name what they feel✨ How we can each help dismantle stigma and make space for men to access support✨ Why commenting on someone's body — even positively — can reinforce shame✨ How recovery becomes possible when we stop being who we think the world expects us to beThis is an important, compassionate, and eye-opening conversation — especially if you've ever believed that eating disorders only affect certain types of people. They don't. Eating disorders do not discriminate, and George's work is a vital step toward making support truly accessible for all.

The festive season is meant to feel joyful, but what if instead it feels like you're behind frosted glass? You can see the lights, hear the laughter, even play the part — but inside you feel numb, separate and alone.In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I talk about the hidden loneliness and emotional disconnection that can show up during Christmas and how eating disorder recovery can amplify these feelings. I'll share why your nervous system creates this “glass box,” how numbness is a form of protection rather than failure, and why people-pleasing and perfectionism often feel louder at this time of year.You'll also learn how to spot the unspoken “rules” you've absorbed about how to show up, how to begin gently rewriting them, and what real self-compassion looks like in the moments you feel most disconnected.This episode is a gentle reminder that you are not broken, you are not failing, and you are not alone.✨ Inside you'll hear:Why numbness is a protective response, not a personal flaw.The role of perfectionism and performance in festive stress.How to dismantle the hidden “rules” that keep you stuck.Simple, honest ways to reconnect with yourself and others.A practice of self-compassion that helps you feel safe in your own body.

n this episode of Fly to Freedom, I'm back with Victoria for another honest Q&A on the realities of eating disorder and anorexia recovery – from parenting a toddler in the city to grieving a soul dog, coping with extreme hunger, and facing fear foods.We explore:Walking vs compensation when you're a mumCan you still walk everywhere with a toddler when you've quit compulsive running? We talk about honestly checking your motivation, using public transport where you can, and why “perfect recovery” (never moving) isn't real life – especially with a small child.The ‘fat and frumpy' phase & lost motivationHow calling yourself “fat and frumpy” keeps you stuck, the difference between preference and moral judgement about body size, and why motivation is unreliable. We look at choosing freedom over thinness, dressing the body you have now, and remembering that weight gain is a sign of healing, not failure.Triggers: avoid them or sit through them?We explain comfort, stretch and panic zones and how to push yourself without re-traumatising yourself. Diet talk, social events and other triggers become teachers, as you practise boundaries and still move forwards.Who am I without my eating disorder?When the ED has been your main coping mechanism, it's normal to feel like you don't know how to “be you.” We talk about inner child work, self-compassion, trusting that your authentic self emerges as you remove coping behaviours, and allowing curiosity instead of perfection.Extreme hunger, hypermetabolism & “eating crazy amounts”We normalise huge appetite early in recovery, talk about hypermetabolism, and why fast weight gain can actually shorten the most agonising part of the process. Your biology is trying to save your life – not sabotage you.“Is it okay to just eat snacks?”Is it genuine preference or avoidance of meals and fullness? We suggest experimenting with both meals and snacks, following the fear, and noticing whether your choices are driven by freedom or control.Fear you'll never be happy in a weight-restored bodyBoth of us share how we once believed happiness depended on staying small, and how we're now the happiest we've ever been in bodies we wouldn't necessarily choose aesthetically. We reframe the goal from constant happiness to deep contentment and encourage collecting daily “glimmers” of joy.Grieving a soul dog & the ED pullWe discuss why big emotional pain wakes up old ED pathways, and how this is also your chance to rewire them: mechanical eating when appetite vanishes, huge compassion, and letting grief be proof of love.The moment you freeze before a scary recovery actionWe share practical tools for the exact second you want to back out: predicting and writing down what your ED will say, using humour and anger to separate from the ED voice, and adopting a “feel the fear and do it anyway” approach.This episode is for you if:You're in eating disorder or anorexia recovery and trying to live real life (kids, work, city living) without falling back into compensation.You're stuck in the “fat and frumpy” stage and wondering how on earth to keep going.You're afraid of triggers, grief, or big emotions pulling you back into old behaviours.You're terrified you'll never be happy in a weight-restored body.You want lived-experience, straight-talking reassurance that you are not doing recovery “wrong.”Resources mentionedFeel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan JeffersThe Eating Disorder Recovery Circle – my online community with courses, workshops, Q&As, the Feelings Navigator and daily support for every stage of recovery: https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join

Hello lovely, and welcome back to Fly to Freedom.In this episode, I'm opening up about one of the hardest, most confusing, and least-talked-about parts of eating disorder recovery: oedema (fluid retention).For 18 months, I experienced painful swelling in my legs, belly, hands, and face – and not a single professional warned me it could happen. It was frightening, uncomfortable, and made me feel like I was somehow doing recovery “wrong.”If you've been there too, you'll know the shame and panic that can come with not recognising your own body in the mirror. But I want you to know this: oedema is not failure. It's healing.In this episode, I share:What edema actually is and why it happens in recoveryThe physical and emotional symptoms nobody tells you aboutWhy some people get it severely and others don'tHow rest, nourishment, and trust are essential to support your body through itWhy fighting swelling often makes it worseHow edema can help with the fear of weight gain by forcing you to face changeWhy fluid retention is a sign of your body's deep intelligence and protectionEdema might feel overwhelming, but it's your body repairing, rebuilding, and reclaiming its health. You are not broken – you are healing.

Q&A from The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle: Exercise Compulsion, Setbacks, Safe Foods and Coping with Diet CultureThis episode of Fly To Freedom is something very special — a real glimpse into the kinds of questions asked inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, my private membership community.These are raw, honest questions from women right in the heart of recovery — navigating fear, confusion, and moments of hope — and the answers come straight from my heart and experience. We cover everything from exercise compulsion and energy deficit, to those nights when you can't stop eating cereal, to the sting of hearing “you look well” when recovery feels terrifying.If you've ever wondered whether full recovery is truly possible, how to cope when everyone around you is dieting, or whether your wobble means you've failed — this conversation will help you see that you are not alone, and that healing is absolutely possible.00:00 – Q1: Is exercise compulsion an addiction to energy deficit – and if so, how is recovery possible if we can't avoid movement forever?Understanding the difference between addiction and compulsion, how the body becomes hooked on energy deficit, and why rest is essential to rewire the brain.08:25 – Q2: You've said recovery isn't linear — does it ever fully settle down, or will I have to work on this forever?How recovery unfolds in layers, why it becomes easier over time, and what life feels like once freedom is your new normal.11:40 – Q3: How do I know if something is a small setback or a full relapse?How to stop catastrophising, understand what your response really means, and learn to meet slip-ups with compassion instead of shame.15:15 – Q4: Why do I latch onto specific safe foods like cereal, especially at night?Exploring why the brain fixates on predictable foods in recovery and how to gently widen food variety without triggering fear or restriction.20:00 – Q5: How do I cope when I'm gaining weight and everyone around me is dieting and being praised?Reframing internal language, stepping away from comparison, and learning to see recovery as an act of courage in a diet-obsessed world.24:20 – Q6: If I've stopped compulsive movement, do everyday activities like walking with my family ‘break' recovery? And what if I feel full and stop eating — is that okay?Understanding intention behind movement, spontaneity versus compulsion, and rebuilding body trust without fear.27:40 – Q7: I restrict all day, then use alcohol in the evening to relax and eat more — but feel shame the next day. How can I break this cycle?Why alcohol can act as false permission to eat, how the restrict-drink-shame loop forms, and how to create safety without needing alcohol to silence the eating disorder voice.33:40 – Q8: People keep saying I ‘look well' and I can see I'm gaining weight — do I still need to keep increasing my intake?Explaining metabolic healing, why early weight gain doesn't mean you're fully nourished, and how continuing to eat more helps you move from survival to freedom.

In this episode of Fly To Freedom, I unpack the fear of weight gain through a compassionate, practical lens. We explore how survival wiring, nervous-system activation and confirmation bias make fear feel indisputable—especially during anorexia recovery and eating disorder recovery. You'll learn why the brain translates messy, vulnerable emotions (rejection, shame, grief, visibility, intimacy) into body-fixing plans—and how to respond differently. I share personal moments from my own recovery, scripts to answer the brain in real time, and a short guided reflection to help you feel safer with feelings so you can keep saying yes to nourishment, healing and freedom.I'm Julia Trehane, a specialist anorexia recovery coach supporting full and lasting recovery—no quasi-recovery, no staying stuck. I believe your worth never lived in your body size, and your brain can be retrained to choose safety in feeling over safety in shrinking.What you'll learnThe Guard Dog Brain: Why the brain prioritises survival over happiness—and why fear is its fastest tool.Coping Strategy, Not Truth: How fear of weight gain arrives to avoid hard emotions and offer an illusion of control.Confirmation Bias: The brain's proof-seeking loop that turns neutral events into “evidence” that shrinking is safer.Underneath the Fear: Rejection, shame, visibility, vulnerability, grief, and “not-enoughness.”Somatic Micro-Skills: A 30–60 second body check-in to increase tolerance for big feelings.Reality-Testing: Questions that disrupt the hijack and open other explanations.Redefining Control: Why real control is presence, nourishment and allowing the body to heal—including oedema.Word-for-Word Scripts: Gentle but firm responses you can use when the brain shouts “don't gain weight.”Try these right away (practical steps)Name the pattern: “This is the coping strategy, not the truth.” Pause before acting.Journal prompt: “If this isn't about weight, what might I be feeling?” Let answers arrive without fixing.Somatic minute: Hand on heart and tummy; locate the feeling (chest/throat/stomach) and breathe into it for 30–60 seconds.Reality check: “What else could be true here? What am I not noticing?”Script it:“Thank you, brain, for trying to protect me. What I'm really feeling is ____. I can feel this and stay safe.”“Buying a bigger size is proof my body is healing, not proof I've failed.”“Oedema is repair. My worth doesn't live in a label.”Reframe control: Choose nourishment, rest and connection—even when fear is loud.Mentioned in this episodeFeelings Navigator — a quick way to find tools for the emotion you're in: https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/how-are-you-feelingThe Eating Disorder Recovery Circle — our community space for support, coaching calls, workshops and on-demand courses (come join us or pop back into the forum to share your reflections): https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/joinKey timestamps (guide)00:00 Guard Dog Brain: survival vs happiness05:00 Fear of weight gain as a coping strategy12:00 How the hijack sounds in real life (relationship/work/friends)20:00 Confirmation bias & why fear feels like “proof”27:00 What's underneath: rejection, shame, visibility, vulnerability, grief33:00 Somatic practice + reality-testing questions39:00 Scripts to answer the brain45:00 Closing reflection: “I can handle feelings; I am safe to feel.”If this episode resonated, come share what came up for you inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle—you'll be met by people who truly understand, plus practical tools you can use the moment fear gets loud, all for less than the cost of a single therapy session: https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join.If you're ready for more personalised support, my 1:1 coaching will hold you through the hard emotions while we retrain the brain toward safety and freedom.

How does anxiety fuel an eating disorder — and why do the usual fixes never seem to work?In this powerful episode of Fly to Freedom, I sit down with Dr Russell Kennedy — physician, neuroscientist, developmental psychology expert, and bestselling author of Anxiety Rx. Known worldwide as The Anxiety MD, Russell brings both deep science and lived experience, having spent decades overcoming his own battle with crippling anxiety.We explore:How anxiety lives in the body as an alarm state, not just in the mind.How childhood trauma and sensitivity shape the coping strategies we turn to.How eating disorders, worry, and other patterns seem to help at first, but only keep the alarm alive underneath.How inner child healing and compassion create lasting recovery, not just temporary relief.How to start finding the alarm in your body and soothing it safely.This is not a surface-level conversation. It's about understanding how anxiety drives the cycle of restriction, control, and fear — and how reconnecting with the body and the younger self underneath the pain is the real key to healing.

Hey lovely, today's episode of Fly to Freedom is not just something to listen to while you multitask — this is one to experience. Together, we'll explore the invisible stories that have been running in the background of your life — the ones that shape how you feel in recovery, how you show up in the world, and even how safe you feel in your own skin.So many of us carry old scripts written by parents, teachers, culture, or the eating disorder itself — stories of not being enough, of not being safe, of not being worthy. And when those stories are left unchallenged, life keeps bending to fit them. But you hold the pen, sweetheart. You always have.In this episode, I'll share:✨ How your brain clings to familiar stories through confirmation bias✨ Why the stories you tell yourself shape your energy, your recovery, and your relationships✨ How to move from scarcity to abundance without faking positivity✨ The role of gratitude and manifestation (when grounded in action) in creating lasting change✨ A guided reflection to help you embody abundance and begin rewriting your story right nowWhether you're early in recovery or navigating the long middle stretch, this conversation will help you start shifting the old narratives that keep you stuck. You'll leave with practical tools, gentle wisdom, and the reminder that you are never alone in this.

In this episode of Fly To Freedom, Vic and I are back answering your real questions from the community. We're going deep into the messy, uncomfortable but transformative parts of eating disorder recovery — things like acting in line with your values when fear keeps getting in the way, making peace with fullness when it feels “dirty,” and breaking the hold of external validation.We also chat about how language shapes your recovery, why you're not “helpless,” and some powerful ways to work with fear, anxiety and guilt after eating.Here's what you'll hear inside:How to move from “I can't” to “I won't” and reclaim your power.Why fullness feels so scary and how to practise being uncomfortable until it becomes safe.Why fruit and veg aren't always your friend in early re-nourishment — and what to focus on instead.Tools for nervous-system safety when even tiny steps trigger panic.How to stop waiting for your mother's (or anyone's) approval and start validating yourself.Why guilt often hits after eating and how to pre-empt it so it loses its grip.This is an honest, compassionate episode with lots of practical ideas you can start using straight away.

Welcome back to Fly to Freedom.Set point weight is one of the most misunderstood and emotionally charged topics in eating disorder recovery. In this episode, I'm breaking down what it really means, why it matters so much, and how to stop fighting your body so you can finally feel safe in it.We'll explore:What set point weight is (and what it isn't)Why your body defends this natural range so fiercelyThe emotional and biological impact of trying to stay below itWhy overshoot happens and why it's not failure but part of healingWhy some people live in larger bodies and what's really going on thereHow to cope if your weight has stabilised but you still don't feel at home in your bodyThis is about more than numbers or appearance. It's about understanding your body as a partner, not a problem. When you stop resisting your set point weight, your body can move out of survival mode, your mind can quieten, and your life can finally expand beyond control.Whether you're at the beginning of recovery, in the messy middle, or wondering if your body has settled, this conversation will help you make sense of the chaos, release shame, and begin to trust that your body has always been on your side.

Welcome back to Fly to Freedom. In this episode, I sit down with Angela, a woman who has just completed coaching with me and has transformed her life in ways she once thought were impossible.Angela opens her heart and shares what recovery really feels like from the inside—the messy middle, the fear of letting go of control, the grief of facing old wounds, and ultimately the joy of discovering her true self.She talks about the shift from quasi-recovery into full recovery, moving beyond the food piece into the deeper emotional healing that brings lasting freedom. From learning to use “kinder eyes” with herself, to shedding the armour of perfectionism, makeup, and control, Angela's story is one of courage, vulnerability, and hope.You'll hear:The difference between simply eating more and truly healing at the root.How black-and-white thinking gave way to curiosity, compassion, and growth.What it feels like to let go of the eating disorder's armour and show up as her authentic self.How recovery changed her marriage, her creativity, and her confidence.Why investing in herself was the turning point that made freedom possible.Angela's journey is a powerful reminder that recovery is not only possible—it's worth everything. If you're feeling stuck in quasi-recovery, constantly fighting your thoughts, or fearing who you'll be without the eating disorder, this episode will show you what's waiting on the other side.

So many of us in recovery know the words “I feel fat” all too well. They can hit like a tidal wave after eating, while looking in the mirror, or when shame and panic rise out of nowhere. But fat isn't actually a feeling.In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I'm unpacking what's really happening when those words surface. Together, we'll explore:Why “I feel fat” is often a shorthand for emotions we were never taught how to name.The deeper feelings that hide beneath body shame — fear, sadness, grief, vulnerability, or loneliness.Why restriction became a coping mechanism, and how recovery brings emotions rushing back.A simple 5-step practice you can use when the “I feel fat” thoughts feel overwhelming.These thoughts aren't evidence of failure — they're signals from your nervous system asking to be heard. And when you begin to meet them with compassion instead of punishment, real healing starts to unfold.

In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I'm joined by the brilliant Tabitha Farrar — recovery coach, speaker, and author of Rehabilitate, Rewire, Recover and Fried Eggs and Thunder Thighs.Tabitha shares her journey of living with anorexia for over a decade, how a seemingly innocent decision triggered the illness, and the pivotal moment she finally chose recovery. Known for her blunt, science-based, no-nonsense approach, Tabitha talks openly about:Why she believes recovery doesn't have to be complicated.The crucial role of facing fears — especially around exercise and weight gain.How negative body image is learned, and how to actually unlearn it.Why acting “as if” you like your body can rewire the brain faster than waiting for the feelings to change.The recovery myths that keep people stuck, including the idea that bingeing in recovery is something to fear.

So many people in recovery quietly wonder: Do I have to face the trauma to truly heal?Maybe you've whispered that question to yourself too – in the middle of a meal, in a therapy room, or in the quiet of the night when you're just so tired of hurting. Maybe you long for recovery but dread opening the door to the past.In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I'm speaking to that exact fear. Together we'll explore:What trauma really is (hint: it's not just what happened, but what you carried forward).Why recovery can absolutely begin without digging into the past straight away.How nourishment, rest and nervous system safety lay the groundwork for deeper healing.Why avoidance isn't failure – it's often a survival response that kept you safe.How real trauma healing often begins in small, quiet acts of safety, presence and self-compassion.Recovery is not just about food. It's about reclaiming the parts of you that had to hide – the ones who deserve love, safety, and freedom.

Welcome back to Fly to Freedom. In this month's Julia & Vics Q&A, we answer your powerful recovery questions — from fears about quasi-recovery to coping with brain chemistry changes, rebuilding family trust, and navigating oedema, weight gain, and family comments.You'll hear raw, compassionate answers rooted in lived experience — the messy parts, the scary parts, and the hopeful parts. Whether you're at the start or further along, these conversations show you that recovery is possible for everyone.[03:15] Quasi vs. Full Recovery – Can coaches tell who will fully recover? Why commitment and openness matter more than prediction.[08:40] Brain Chemistry – Why suicidal thoughts, depression, and appetite loss can hit when you start eating more, and how to move through it.[17:55] Food Perfectionism – Fear of making the “wrong” choice, and how to let food be messy, not perfect.[23:10] Family Trust – How to rebuild relationships and feel proud of yourself again after painful years.[32:05] Planning Challenges – Should challenges be scheduled or spontaneous? Why the answer is both.[37:45] Oedema – Julia's lived experience of extreme water retention, why it happens, and how to cope.[46:20] Weight Gain Blame – Reframing “healthy” and “unhealthy” foods, and trusting your body.[55:30] BMI Fears – Why BMI is irrelevant, why food thoughts count as hunger, and how to keep going.[01:05:15] Family Comments – Coping when loved ones make thin-obsessed remarks, and why inner child work matters.[01:15:10] Blood Tests – Why results may look “normal” despite restriction, and why that doesn't mean you're okay.[01:25:40] Restricting to “Check” Metabolism – Why this cycle fuels mistrust, and how to break it.[01:32:50] Fear or Excitement – How fear can transform into courage, and why borrowing belief helps.[01:40:05] Making Recovery Easier – Would we do it differently? Why going all in was the fastest way through.[01:47:15] HSPs – Why many with eating disorders are highly sensitive people, and how to see it as a strength.

This is the episode I've never fully shared before – not the neat, summarised version of my story, but the raw, unfiltered truth of my eating disorder recovery.I take you with me from the very darkest place I have ever been – when I truly believed my family would be better off without me – through the messy, painful, beautiful journey that led me to full and lasting freedom.You'll hear about the moments that broke me open, the boundaries I had to set, the inner child work that changed everything, the terrifying physical symptoms, the cravings, the shame, and the unexpected rediscovery of connection, pleasure, and love for life itself.This isn't a “five tips to recover” kind of episode. It's my lived experience – the truth of anorexia recovery and eating disorder recovery as I walked it – with all the fear, hope, setbacks, and breakthroughs along the way.If you're in the middle of it right now, or standing at the edge wondering if recovery is even possible for you, I hope my story shows you that no matter how far gone you feel, you are never beyond hope. Freedom is possible, and it's worth every tear, every bite, every beginning again.

In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I'm joined by Sydney, a former client whose journey through anorexia recovery is nothing short of inspiring. When we first met, Sydney was lost in the eating disorder – afraid of food, disconnected from her friends and family, and trapped in a cycle of rules, restriction, and fear.Through coaching, Sydney learned to challenge those thoughts, reconnect with herself, and rebuild her relationship with food, her body, and her life. She shares the hardest parts of recovery, the breakthroughs that made the biggest difference, and the moments where she surprised herself with what she could achieve – from enjoying dessert again to embracing movement for joy rather than punishment.Sydney also opens up about the contrast between traditional treatment and coaching, how the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle supports her daily, and why freedom is about so much more than weight restoration. Her story is a powerful reminder that full recovery is possible – and that life beyond the eating disorder can be filled with connection, confidence, and joy.

In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I'm sharing the kind of self-love we don't often talk about — the kind that doesn't feel soft or sweet at first, but changes everything.This isn't about face masks or bubble baths. This is about choosing freedom over comfort. It's about acting like you matter, even when every voice in your head is telling you that you don't.We explore what it means to practice self-love as a behaviour — not a mood, not a vibe, and definitely not something you wait to feel. We'll talk about what rewiring the brain really looks like, why things feel fake before they feel real, and how your inner dialogue either builds or breaks down your self-belief.If you've ever thought:

This is a special joint Q&A episode with my brilliant friend Victoria from The Body Love Binge, where we answer real recovery questions from our communities. We're covering so much in this conversation — from getting your period back, to setting boundaries with family, understanding set point theory, challenging intuitive eating rules, and what recovery fatigue really means.If you've ever wondered whether you're doing recovery “right”, feared that eating without hunger will mean endless weight gain, or just needed to hear two people who've been through it talk honestly — this one's for you.⏱️ Listener Questions & Timestamps:[03:01] “What can I do to get my period back?”Georgia asked about restoring her period after 10 years. I share why rest, nervous system regulation and patience are key, and how you don't need to force-feed yourself — your body already knows how to heal.[10:30] “How do I deal with body comments or judgments from my elderly parents?”We talk about the emotional impact of family comments, how to set boundaries with consequences, and why healing the inner child matters so much in these moments.[19:34] “Is intuitive eating secretly diet culture? Why does it feel so contradictory?”We unpack the truth about intuitive eating — how it can become another rulebook, and why real food freedom means trusting yourself, not following guidelines.[28:46] “Will I keep gaining weight if I eat when I'm not hungry?”I share my own experience with set point theory, why trying to stay at the low end of your ‘range' backfires, and how eating freely will always stabilise when you're truly at peace with food.[37:10] “Why are some people in very large bodies? Doesn't that mean they eat too much?”This one gets to the heart of weight stigma. We talk about trauma, shame, emotional coping, bingeing vs restriction, and why body size isn't a simple equation of input and output.[46:30] “Why am I so exhausted now that I'm finally eating?”I've lived this one — the deep, bone-tired fatigue that hits when the eating disorder lets go. I explain why it's part of recovery, what's happening in the body, and why it's not something to fight against.[51:15] “Can binge eating become a bad habit after recovery?”Victoria answers beautifully here — the difference between bingeing and emotional eating, how habits aren't bad unless shame is involved, and why full permission is what leads to true choice.[59:01] “What challenges do you still face in life after recovery?”We both open up about the things we're navigating now — from motherhood and visibility to self-expression and the ongoing journey of growth beyond recovery.If you're looking for real support from people who've been there and truly get it, The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle is here for you. It's a unique community of people at all stages of recovery, supporting each other through the mess, the milestones, and everything in between.Inside, you'll find:Monthly coaching calls with opportunities for 1:1 supportThe Feelings Navigator to guide you through tough emotionsLive workshops and expert-led coursesDozens of how-to recovery guides (like how to eat at a buffet or go to a restaurant without fear)On-demand recovery resources, including Overcoming the Fear of Weight Gain

In this powerful and tender episode of Fly to Freedom, I'm opening up about something that so many people in eating disorder recovery experience but rarely speak about: intimacy.When your body is changing and you're learning to feel again, sex and closeness can stir up shame, fear, and deep vulnerability. You might question your worth, wonder how to be seen in your new body, or feel overwhelmed by returning desire. You might even feel numb, disconnected, or unsure how to let someone close when you're still trying to come home to yourself.This conversation was inspired by a beautiful message I received from someone in recovery—and from my own experience. If you're struggling with intimacy, please know: you are not broken, and you are not alone.In this episode, we explore:Why intimacy often felt performative or disconnected during the eating disorderHow disconnection, people-pleasing and body shame show up in sexWhat it means when your sex drive disappears… and when it comes rushing backThe nervous system truth behind sudden desire (and why it can feel like extreme hunger)How to stop performing and start feeling again—on your own termsRebuilding safety in your body through small, gentle stepsCommunicating with your partner when you feel too exposed, too emotional, or not enoughLetting intimacy evolve into something real, raw, and deeply healingThis episode is a love letter to anyone who feels confused or overwhelmed by intimacy in recovery. It's not about getting it perfect—it's about allowing yourself to be present, vulnerable, and loved just as you are.If you're feeling messy, unsure or alone in this part of recovery, this is for you.Resources & Support

In this powerful episode of Fly to Freedom, I'm joined by someone whose story and work I deeply admire—Dr Rachel Evans. Rachel is a chartered psychologist, hypnotherapist, and podcast host with her own lived experience of bulimia recovery. Known for her compassionate and trauma-informed approach, she supports individuals who feel trapped in cycles of food obsession, body hatred, purging, and compulsive exercise.Together, we explore a part of eating disorders that often lives in the shadows—purging behaviours. Whether it's vomiting, laxatives, or over-exercising, these actions often feel impossible to stop. Rachel opens up about her personal journey through restriction, bingeing, and purging, revealing the emotional layers, life pressures, and deep-rooted fears that fed her eating disorder.We discuss:How control, perfectionism, and fear of rejection can fuel purging behavioursWhy purging often becomes a coping mechanism beyond just ‘getting rid of food'The physical and emotional impact of purging on the body and mindThe turning point that made Rachel say “enough” and begin true healingHow to begin understanding your own urges to purge with curiosity, not shameThe role of identity, academic pressure, and self-worth in recoveryWhy awareness and self-compassion are the first steps to lasting changeRachel's story is a testament to what's possible when we stop fighting symptoms and start listening to what they're trying to tell us. Whether you're struggling with purging yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers validation, insight, and hope.You can find Rachel on Instagram at @rachel.evans.phd or visit her website at eatingdisordertherapist.co.uk to explore her work and book a free consultation.Julia will also be appearing on Rachel's podcast soon—so stay tuned!Julia Trehane is a specialist anorexia recovery coach who blends lived experience with compassionate, practical tools to help others achieve full freedom from eating disorders. To access workshops, courses, community support and 24/7 recovery tools, join The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle today: www.edrecoverycircle.com/joinKeywords: bulimia recovery, purging behaviours, compulsive exercise, binge purge cycle, eating disorder recovery, emotional healing, trauma-informed, body image, laxative abuse, stop purging, overcome bulimia, eating disorder therapist

This episode of Fly to Freedom is a heartfelt answer to a listener question that echoes what so many people feel in eating disorder recovery: How do I find the willpower to recover when it feels like I love both anorexia and recovery?If you've ever felt torn—like you're standing between two lives, both calling your name—this episode is for you.I'm sitting down with you, heart to heart, to explore the unbearable split that can happen in recovery. When one part of you is desperate for peace and freedom, and another part is still clinging to the eating disorder, it can feel like choosing between two identities, two versions of love, or two paths that both feel vital.But what if it's not willpower that you need?What if it's clarity?In this episode, I share:Why it's not weakness to feel torn between recovery and anorexiaWhat's really going on in your brain, body, and nervous system that keeps you attached to the eating disorderWhy anorexia often feels like love, but is actually a trauma bond disguised as safetyHow to begin choosing recovery even when you don't feel readyA powerful journaling practice and practical steps to take when you feel stuckThe difference between survival mode and fully living—and why you deserve so much more than just survivingWhether you're at the very start of recovery or deep in the messy middle, this episode is a loving invitation to see things more clearly, to stop waiting for courage to arrive, and to begin choosing yourself again and again.You don't need more willpower.You need support. You need truth. You need love.And you're allowed to take the next step—even if your hands are shaking.Resources & Support

This month, Victoria and I sat down for another open-hearted Q&A, where we answered your beautiful, brave, and deeply honest questions about recovery.From the fear of weight gain to exercising in a free body… from feeling lost in free time to wondering whether you've truly reached your set point weight… we covered so much of what recovery really looks and feels like – the messy, the magical, and everything in between.Whether you're in the thick of fear or starting to sense your own strength coming through, I promise you'll find something here that speaks to your heart.In this episode, we explore:

In this episode, I'm speaking to the part of you that's exhausted — the part that's wondering if recovery is really worth it.Maybe you're eating more than you ever thought you could. You feel uncomfortable in your body. Your mind is loud, full of guilt and panic, and you're starting to ask... Why am I even doing this?I asked myself that same question so many times. I lived most of my life stuck in survival mode, functioning but never really living. I thought control was safety. But recovery showed me that true freedom is possible — and that it's worth every hard, terrifying step.In this episode, I'm sharing what recovery really gives you. Not just food freedom — but emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual freedom too. A life that feels full, joyful, and real. And I want you to know: you are not too far gone. You don't have to be “sick enough” to deserve healing. You are allowed to want more.And if you're doing this alone right now, please know — you don't have to.Inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, I've created a place where you can find the support, guidance, and connection you need. You'll get access to expert tools, lived experience coaching, loving community spaces, and courses to help you through every stage of recovery. It's like being wrapped in support — even on your hardest days.The true cost of staying in the eating disorder, even when you're “managing”Why perfection and people pleasing aren't safety — they're a cageThe freedom recovery offers in your body, your emotions, and your relationshipsWhy your healing isn't selfish — it's a ripple that touches every life around youHow recovery reconnects you with your worth, your truth, and your joyIf you've been doubting whether this fight is worth it… let this be your reminder:You were born to be free. Not perfect. Just fully, wonderfully you.

In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I'm joined by Dr Cristina Castagnini, a licensed psychologist and certified eating disorder specialist whose work focuses exclusively on helping women heal their relationship with food and their bodies. Cristina is also the host of the Behind the Bite podcast, where she dismantles harmful eating disorder myths and supports recovery with compassion and clarity.We explore Cristina's personal journey with a long-standing eating disorder, the shocking moment that sparked her full recovery, and the deeply ingrained societal beliefs that keep so many trapped in cycles of disordered eating. From early body shame to SlimFast diets, and the rise of "wellness" trends that mask restriction, this episode is an eye-opening and honest look at what it truly takes to heal.Together, we discuss:Cristina's personal story and what finally pushed her into real recoveryHow diet culture disguises itself as healthThe danger of BMI, especially for children and in clinical settingsThe power of curating your social media to support recoveryWhy commenting on appearance—even with good intentions—can be deeply harmfulAnd why full recovery is not only possible… it is absolutely realIf you've ever felt discouraged by the idea that eating disorders are lifelong, or if you're struggling with fear around body image and food, this episode is here to remind you that full freedom is not just a hope—it's a reality.Connect with Dr Cristina Castagnini

In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I'm exploring a topic that's rarely talked about openly, but is a reality for many in eating disorder recovery: purging.Whether it takes the form of self-induced vomiting, laxative abuse, or compulsive exercise, purging isn't really about food. It's about fear. About shame. About trying to escape from overwhelming emotions and regain a sense of control—often at the cost of your physical and emotional wellbeing.Together, we'll unpack:The emotional and psychological reasons why people purge, even after a normal meal or snackHow trauma, perfectionism, and beliefs about control and worth drive purging behavioursThe dangerous myths behind purging—especially the false idea that it “undoes” eating or prevents weight gainThe physical consequences of purging through vomiting, laxatives, or overexerciseWhat recovery from purging really feels like—and why it's possible even when it feels terrifyingAnd most importantly, I'll guide you through:How to break the purge cycle with practical steps like interrupting the urge, softening your inner critic, and creating safer rituals for emotional releaseHow to stabilise your nourishment and rewire your nervous system to feel safe with food, fullness, and restWhat freedom from purging actually looks like—and why it's worth fighting forIf you're struggling with bulimia, purging anorexia, or compensatory behaviours like overexercise, this episode will help you feel seen, understood, and supported.Because healing doesn't happen through punishment.It begins with compassion.And you are worthy of healing—no matter how long you've been stuck in the cycle.With love always,Julia x

In this deeply moving episode of Fly to Freedom, I'm joined by fellow eating disorder recovery coach, Sarah Rzemieniak, who shares her powerful personal story of healing from anorexia and finding her way back to herself.Sarah opens up about the roots of her eating disorder, which began at age 12 during a time of emotional insecurity, perfectionism, and disconnection. Her story takes us through years of treatment, early recovery, and a relapse in her 20s that forced her to confront the deeper truths beneath the symptoms. What followed was a profound journey into spirituality, meditation, and inner work that changed everything.In this conversation, Sarah talks about:The early patterns of anxiety, people-pleasing, and emotional loneliness that shaped her eating disorderHow the absence of emotional safety led to attaching to the eating disorder for a sense of controlHer turning point: seeking help at just 12 years old, and how treatment both helped and fell shortThe moment she realised her recovery had been based on external validation—not true healingHow spirituality, solo travel to India, and a meditation practice helped her rebuild her self-worth from withinBecoming a mother and what she now sees through the eyes of her own childrenThe transition from being a dietitian to becoming a recovery coach, and why that shift brought her deeper into her purposeWhat full recovery really means to her todaySarah's story is honest, emotional, and full of wisdom that will speak straight to your heart. Whether you're in the early stages of recovery or years into the process, her insight into self-worth, love, and healing offers profound reassurance that freedom is not only possible—but waiting for you.Guest Bio:Sarah Rzemieniak is a Carolyn Costin Institute Certified Eating Disorder Recovery Coach who has been in private practice since 2018. She provides 1:1 support to individuals around the world and now leads a small team of other CCI-certified coaches. Formerly an eating disorder dietitian, Sarah now works solely in coaching and counselling. She considers herself fully recovered from anorexia nervosa and lives in Vancouver, Canada with her husband and two young sons.Connect with Sarah:Instagram: @sarah.rzemieniak.coachingWebsite: sarahrzemieniak.comListen now and discover:→ Why eating disorders so often start with unmet emotional needs→ The power of spiritual practice in long-term healing→ How to recognise when you're only “functionally recovered”→ What it really takes to reconnect with your worthWith love always,Julia x

The fear of weight gain is one of the most paralysing and misunderstood parts of eating disorder recovery. And in this episode of Fly to Freedom, I'm not sugar-coating it. I'm answering the question I get asked more than any other: Can I actually stop being afraid of gaining weight?The truth is, yes—you can. But not in the way your brain probably hopes. Recovery isn't about waiting for the fear to go before you take action. It's about taking action even while the fear is loud. In this episode, I unpack what's really behind the fear of weight gain—beyond body image—and why so many people stay stuck even after their weight is restored.We'll explore:Why gaining weight doesn't magically remove the fearThe deep childhood beliefs and emotional wiring that feed body shameWhy this fear is part of the eating disorder itself—not a neutral preferenceThe real reason people still struggle after physical recoveryHow to meet the younger part of you who internalised the belief that thinness meant safetyWhat it takes to move through fear with self-compassion instead of perfectionismYou'll walk away with powerful insights and practical mindset shifts to help you stop letting fear make your decisions, and start choosing recovery with your whole heart—even when it's hard.

You're Not Broken – The System Is: A Raw Conversation About Healing with Lucy AphramorThis episode of Fly to Freedom is not just a conversation about recovery. It's a deep reckoning with the systems that have shaped how we think about food, health, and bodies — and how we can begin to reclaim our truth.Julia is joined by Lucy Aphramor (they/them), a radical dietitian, poet, and justice-centred educator whose Well Now approach reimagines nutrition through the lens of compassion, lived experience, and social change. Together, they unpack the myths of weight management, the fallacy of 'healthy eating' guidelines, and the oppressive roots of mainstream public health narratives.Lucy shares powerful insights about:Why public health nutrition is an equity issueHow traditional health education often reinforces oppressionThe myth of evidence-based weight lossWhy eating disorder recovery is inseparable from social justiceWhat it means to centre community, compassion, and care in healingHow body shame is socially shaped, and why self-compassion is essential for unlearningA poetic lens on health, worth, and resistanceThis episode is a must-listen if you've ever felt confused by health advice, struggled with body image, or questioned the deeper systems influencing eating disorders. Whether you're in recovery or supporting someone who is, Lucy's wisdom offers a radical shift in how we can approach healing — not just as individuals, but as a community.

In this tender and transformative episode of Fly to Freedom, specialist anorexia recovery coach Julia Trehane explores one of the most powerful – and often overlooked – elements of lasting healing in eating disorder recovery: the inner child.Whether you've heard the term before or it's completely new, this episode gently guides you through what it really means to connect with the inner child, why it matters so deeply in anorexia recovery, and how so many of the emotions and behaviours we struggle with are rooted in unmet needs from long ago.This is what I share:How the inner child shows up in everyday patterns like shame after eating, body image struggles, and the fear of not being enoughWhy recognising old emotional wounds is essential to full recovery from anorexia and other eating disordersWhat it means to reparent yourself with love, steadiness, and compassionPractical examples of how to respond when old pain or fear arisesWhy reconnecting with joy and play is a vital part of healingA gentle, guided visualisation to help you meet your inner child safelyThis episode is filled with loving truth, practical support, and powerful reframes that will help you soften the self-criticism and build a deeper sense of safety within.Because full recovery isn't just about food or weight — it's about coming home to yourself.Listen now and begin reconnecting with the part of you that has always deserved love, rest, and joy.

In this powerful and often playful episode of Fly to Freedom, specialist anorexia recovery coach Julia Trehane is joined once again by recovery coach Victoria Kleinsman for a short but deeply impactful session—one that's sparked by a listener request to roleplay the eating disorder versus the healthy self.Expect laughter, raw honesty, and moments of deep recognition as Julia and Victoria bring to life the inner war that so many face in eating disorder recovery. From food fears to compulsive exercise thoughts, they expose the language of the eating disorder and model the kind of compassionate self-talk that leads to true healing.They also unpack real listener questions, including:“How do I build a life bigger than bulimia?”“What are the pros and cons of recovery?”“How do I move forward if I'm still terrified of weight gain?”“Will I ever feel free in my body again?”Together, they share personal stories, celebrate recovery wins, and gently dismantle fear-based beliefs. If you're navigating anorexia recovery, bulimia, or simply trying to understand how to separate from the critical voice inside, this episode offers both hope and practical guidance.

Struggling with intense emotions during eating disorder recovery? You're not alone — and this episode of Fly to Freedom is for you.When you stop restricting food and start reconnecting with your body, something unexpected often happens: a flood of feelings. Sadness, anxiety, anger, even joy — all rushing back in. It can feel overwhelming, frightening, and confusing. You might even wonder, “Am I doing recovery wrong?”In this powerful episode, Julia Trehane — specialist anorexia recovery coach and voice behind Fly to Freedom — shares why emotional intensity is a natural and essential part of healing from anorexia and other eating disorders. You'll learn how emotional numbness is a survival mechanism, how restriction affects the brain and nervous system, and what's really happening when feelings resurface in recovery.Why we fear our feelings during recovery (and why that fear is valid)How food restriction blunts emotional processing — and why refeeding reawakens itThe neuroscience behind emotional overwhelm and protectionHow to respond when emotions feel like “too much”Tools to process feelings safely, without shame or judgementA gentle mindset shift: feeling isn't failing — it's healingThis episode is a gentle companion for anyone experiencing emotional chaos while trying to recover. If you've ever thought “I can't cope with these emotions” or “I feel like I'm falling apart,” this conversation will help you understand that nothing is wrong with you — you're waking up, and you are healing.Inside the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, you'll find the Feelings Navigator — a powerful tool created for this exact moment in recovery. With guided videos, meditations, and strategies for emotions like guilt, sadness, rage and fear, you'll finally have the support you need to understand and move through every feeling with confidence and compassion.Mentioned in this episode:See an example from the Feelings NavigatorJoin the Eating Disorder Recovery CircleYou are not too much. You are healing. You are coming back to life — and you are doing it beautifully.

****UPDATE FOR THIS EPISODE****Right at the end, I give a link to my Recovery Circle community and courses. In my excitement, I gave the wrong link! it should be https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/Oops!In this special monthly catch-up episode of Fly to Freedom, Julia and Victoria come together again to chat, giggle, and offer heartfelt insight into the raw realities of eating disorder recovery. From slippers and sensory issues to deep conversations about mother-daughter recovery, guilt, brain fog, and redefining identity, this episode is packed with warmth, wisdom, and relatable support.Together, they answer real listener questions, including:

So many people in eating disorder recovery believe they have to earn support — by being sicker, quieter, or more perfect. But what if that's the very belief that's been keeping healing out of reach?In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I gently but powerfully unravel the dangerous myth that you have to do recovery alone. I share openly — including from my own lived experience — why support isn't a luxury, but a lifeline. We explore the emotional roots of the belief ‘I don't deserve help,' how emotional neglect shapes our nervous systems, and the neuroscience of connection as medicine.You'll also hear, for the first time in depth, about the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle — the supportive, compassionate membership space I created for those ready to move beyond survival and build true food freedom, body trust, and self-worth. This isn't a sales pitch. It's an invitation.Whether you're just starting recovery or stuck in a quiet kind of suffering, this episode is a hand to hold. You are allowed to be supported. And you never have to do this alone.Inside this episode:The biggest lie eating disorders tell us about supportHow emotional neglect wires your brain to reject helpWhy “I'm fine” often means “I'm surviving, not living”The healing power of being seen, supported and understoodWhat's waiting for you inside the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle✨ If this stirred something in you, you'll find everything you need to join the Circle and begin receiving support in the link below. Your place is already waiting. You are worthy — now.LINKS:Join the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle: https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join

This episode is nothing short of extraordinary. Today, I sit down with Dr. Robb Kelly, a world-renowned recovery expert who is changing lives through his neuroscience-based approach to addiction, trauma, and mental health.The world's best recovery coaches don't just treat the symptoms of addiction—they focus on the root causes, addressing the deeper issues that keep people stuck. Dr. Robb Kelly is among this elite group, helping people break free from destructive patterns and fully rewire their brains for recovery and success.From homelessness and near-death experiences to becoming a leading authority in addiction recovery, Dr. Kelly shares his raw and powerful personal journey. We dive into the science behind addiction, the role of childhood trauma, and how rewiring the brain makes full recovery possible—not just from substance addiction, but from any self-sabotaging cycle.This conversation is real, deep, and transformational, offering hope, tools, and inspiration for anyone struggling with addiction, eating disorders, or self-destructive habits.

Welcome back to Fly to Freedom. In this second part of our series on common eating disorder recovery symptoms, we're exploring the emotional and neurological shifts that often surface during the healing process.If you haven't listened to Part 1 yet, I encourage you to start there—we covered the physical signs of healing in anorexia recovery, including extreme hunger, bloating, and fatigue. In this episode, we shift focus to the internal healing process—those invisible but powerful changes that can feel overwhelming, confusing, or even frightening at times.Together, we unpack:Hair shedding in recovery – why it happens and why it's a good signTemperature dysregulation – swinging between freezing and overheatingBrain fog and memory issues – how malnutrition affects cognitive functionDizziness and lightheadedness – understanding what's really happeningFrequent urination – how your body is rebalancing its fluid levelsMenstrual cycle changes – what to expect as hormones regulateVivid dreams and emotional swings – the brain's way of processing againTeeth sensitivity and sore gums – oral health during nourishment restorationEvery one of these symptoms is part of your body's deep healing. In this episode, I'll explain why they occur, how long they might last, and what you can do to ease them.Healing doesn't always feel like healing—and that's why this conversation matters so much. These symptoms are not signs that something is going wrong. They are signs that your body is finally feeling safe enough to rebuild.✨ If you've been feeling like your mind is foggy, your emotions are on a rollercoaster, or your body is doing strange things—this episode is for you.You are not broken.You are healing.Resources Mentioned:Join The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle – your place for support, tools, and communityThe Feelings Navigator – explore what you're feeling and get instant support (within the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle)Other helpful episodes:Episode 105 Part 1 – Physical Signs of HealingEpisode 97 – Coping with Extreme Hunger in RecoveryEpisode 81 – How Nutrition Restores Mental ClarityIf this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to know they're not alone. And if you're navigating recovery right now—come say hello on Instagram or send me a message. I'd love to hear from you.With love always,Julia

When you begin nourishing your body again in eating disorder recovery, it doesn't just quietly say thank you — it lets you know it's working. And that can feel overwhelming, scary, and confusing. You might even question whether you're doing recovery wrong.In this episode of Fly To Freedom, I'm breaking down what's really happening behind the physical sensations so many people experience in early recovery — from exhaustion and digestive issues to bloating, edema, joint pain, and more.These are not signs that something's gone wrong. They're signs that your body is healing.We'll explore:Why complete exhaustion is actually a good signWhat's happening with your digestion (and how long it lasts)Why emotional swings hit hard in recoveryWhat causes bloating, heartburn, and water retention (and why they're not permanent)How to support yourself through these physical changesWhat your body is really doing behind the scenes when you feel like it's falling apartThis episode is your reminder that healing is messy — and it's also miraculous.✨ Part 2 will cover the emotional and neurological changes that happen as your brain heals.Mentioned in this episode:If this episode resonates with you, come and join us inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle — the all-in-one community for eating disorder recovery. You'll find support, resources, courses, and a place to feel truly understood.Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for medical advice. Everyone's recovery journey is different. If you're concerned about your health, please speak with a qualified professional.

Episode 104 – Q&A with Victoria and Julia: Exercise in Recovery, Body Image, and the Messy MiddleIn this episode of Fly to Freedom, Julia and Victoria are back with another listener Q&A! They answer your most pressing questions about eating disorder recovery, from reintroducing exercise to dealing with body image struggles and overcoming fears around food.

53 minutes of sheer interview joy!Today's episode is an absolute treat as I welcome the marvellous Amy Margolis, LCSW. Amy is a licensed therapist, co-clinical director of Santa Monica Counseling, and an expert in eating disorder recovery. She's also a seasoned voice actor with credits from Nickelodeon, Netflix, and Disney, but more than anything, she's a passionate advocate for healing and self-worth.This episode is extra special because Amy and I recorded an incredible conversation previously… only to find out it never saved! Luckily, Amy graciously agreed to return, and honestly, I think this conversation is even better.We cover everything from the anorexic mindset and societal conditioning to the power of vulnerability, the illusion of happiness, and how starvation impacts mental health. Whether you're in recovery, supporting someone, or just curious about breaking free from deprivation thinking, this episode is packed with insight, wisdom, and practical advice.

Sorry folks, this episode is audio only, due to a technical fault uploading the video to Spotify. If you really want to see a video version, you can on YouTube at https://youtu.be/TJBNLRnTFcQIn this episode of Fly to Freedom, I'm addressing a topic that is often misunderstood, invalidated, and overlooked—atypical anorexia.If you've ever been told, “You don't look like you have an eating disorder” or felt like you don't deserve help because you don't fit the stereotype of anorexia, this episode is for you.Atypical anorexia is just as severe and life-threatening as anorexia nervosa, yet those who experience it often struggle in silence. I break down the science, misconceptions, and emotional impact of atypical anorexia and share why eating disorders should never be measured by weight alone.You'll learn:

Episode 100: Double Love – Q&A with Julia & Victoria