Leaning Toward Wisdom

  When we learn that our behavior and choices belong entirely to us and are independent of what others do, it's the road less traveled to becoming a better person. Rare are the people who have made up their minds to behave like that, likely because it demands a willingness to suffer wrong and move on to do what's right. No matter what. Self-discipline is at the heart of enduring suffering, sacrificing, exercising grace and gratitude. All hard things! Easier things are becoming bitter, harboring resentment, and embracing a victim mentality. Hatred. Retribution. Payback. Those are all easy and require no self-control. However, as is often the case, ease can be damaging over the long term. It makes us worse. It wrecks us. Refusing to put in the hard work of temperance ultimately comes at a high price over time. Discipline sometimes has no involvement with others. For instance, about 3 weeks ago, I began mainly eating carnivore. I did it solely for myself, to feel better. I also hope to drop some unwanted weight, but that was secondary. Nobody else influenced my decision. I'm not doing it for anybody else. Self-discipline helps me improve my health and overall well-being. Another area of self-discipline is spending. Since January, I've had some planned purchases to elevate my game as a content creator. Late last year, I made some purchases for items I've come to need. Much of it involves unsexing things, such as a network-attached storage (NAS) system that allows me to store large video files easily. I invested in a 4-bay device (that means I can load up four large hard drives that will work in unison). It wasn't cheap. I also invested in some software and other tools necessary for my current role as a content creator, producing three different shows, including this one. I started this journey around 1999, so it's not how I started. I wouldn't recommend spending a lot of money to start producing online content. That phone you carry around every day will do the job. I recently encouraged a friend to use his phone and a $150 wireless microphone setup, along with a cheap selfie stick tripod device. It's a great way to start and can likely serve you well for years to come. Twenty-five years ago, that was NOT the case, so through the years, I've invested a significant amount of money in this craft. Until last year, that was all audio, too. New flash: audio is way cheaper than video! :D Spending on anything can get out of control. It requires discipline to avoid spending, especially overspending. I've hit my limit - planned or otherwise. Okay, I've almost hit it. I've two items on my list that I still need to purchase, both of which are equipment-related. The most expensive of them is a computer hub so I can more efficiently connect everything to my computer instead of having three different smaller hubs. It's a device that wasn't previously available due to technological limitations. After that, I'm intentionally hitting the PAUSE button on spending because I'm going into full-blown saving mode. I'm approaching this with intention, a plan, and self-discipline, just as I do with my diet. Teddy Swims was on Q with Tom Powers, a CBC production. Here's the YouTube link. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  A few weeks ago, Megan Moroney was on The Bobby Bones Show. She's an emerging country music star touring with Kenny Chesney. I only know that because I've seen snippets of their shows on social media. Not knowing who she is or anything about her, I trolled through a short clip of Bobby Bones's interview with her. During the interview, Bobby asked her a question that prompted an answer we can all relate to, but here's a young lady who seems to be breaking through country music in a BIG way. But that's hardly the whole story. For Megan, it was country music. For me, it's currently two things: learning to play the guitar and starting a carnivore diet. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Thanks for watching. If you choose to listen, thanks for that, too. Other than that, I've got nothing. The show speaks for itself. But here are the links I mentioned (and promised to share): LetTheBibleSpeak.tv https://hotspringsvillageinsideout.com/a-champion-bull-rider-who-loves-to-cut-hair/ Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  I apologize for being absent lately. Let me explain. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  He asks me, "How do you measure success?" I have questions before I answer. "Success in what?" "Sales success is easy to measure. Serenity, not so much." Turns out he was focused on how I viewed MY success in general. Part of the challenge of measuring or defining success is the common disease of comparisonitis. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  It doesn't mean you're to blame. It means you accept responsibility for yourself—for your choices, decisions, behavior, reactions, feelings—and all the rest. I've yet to discover a downside. Mentioned in today's show: VIA Survey Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things by Robert Fulghum was published in 1986. It was quite the rage because it was filled with commonsense life maxims. I read it and appreciated the author's point that even children can (and should) learn how to behave toward others. We are almost 40 years later, and it seems like a prehistoric work of fiction. When I purchased this book, I had yet to turn 30. I had two small children and a wife I'd been married to for about nine years. Back then, the content was much less remarkable than it is today. I appreciated Mr. Fulghum's sentiment that kindness and courtesy are behaviors he learned as a small child, but that was then and now. When Fulghum grew up, parents trained children by providing guard rails, forbidding certain misbehavior, and encouraging proper behaviors. That's much less visible today. When I first read the book, I quickly realized that kindergarten didn't teach me these things, but my parents and older folks did. Increasingly, I realized they weren't teaching me some arbitrary rules they had constructed. Their training manual wasn't a book by some doctor or psychologist. They were using the Bible, the Word of God. The book focuses on fundamentals, such as the " golden rule," which originated in God's mind. John 13:34-35 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another". Matthew 7:12 "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." I learned that at home while reading the Bible. I also learned it by attending worship services every Sunday, a day that was (and still is) referred to as "the Lord's Day." Of course, every day belongs to the Lord, but the day of worship is unique and set apart for public worship. Hebrews 10:25 "Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day (of worship, Sunday) approaching." As an old man, I reflect on my training, and I've remained true to it because it was always based on the ultimate authority, God, and the Savior of all mankind, Jesus Christ. It wasn't just a group of old people who littered my life, nor was it just my mom or dad imposing their will. It was a pattern for living, trained into me by these people who loved me and wanted only my best. Over the years, I've leaned hard on the precepts and principles of my training and continued it. It didn't stop when I turned 18 or 21. The truth is, I made more dedicated, conscious efforts after I became an adult. I spent more hours studying and conversing with older mentors who continued my training. The foundation had been set, but the building didn't begin until I was an adult, out on my own. That's the litmus test for convictions - when you're on your own, no longer under the thumb of anybody else, and free to choose for yourself. When that time comes, what will you do? How will you behave? Honesty, truth, kindness, courtesy (and much more) were instilled when I was a child, but as an adult, many no longer make those choices. We justify our poor behavior, choosing to be victims of others or circumstances we don't think we deserve. I first saw deception at work on a stereo store showroom floor during my teen years. If a shopper was lied to about a piece of gear they considered, they might buy it. If you told the truth, they might not. My training and my conscience wouldn't let that happen. It became easier when I realized that telling the truth worked better than telling the lies I knew others were telling. It turns out that the truth always works best. Personality and communication play a role, but the truth and doing what's right aren't subjective to either one. I've learned that some people struggle to communicate cl...

  I posted this on social media a few days ago. It's easy to desire improvement, but it's hard to change our habits to bring about improvement. Each year begins with the hope that 2025 will be better than 2024. Maybe it will. Maybe not. Our habits are going to determine it. These 2 sentences are true. Life bears witness to their validity. Links mentioned in today's show: • In Thy Paths, a YouTube playlist of sermons • A TV segment about why most New Year resolutions fail Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Happy New Year, 2025! In the fall of 1997, I uploaded my first audio under the tagline "Leaning Toward Wisdom." It was my documentary, the journey of a 40-year-old dad desiring to pass along whatever lessons I might. Twenty-seven years later, I'm still unsure how successful the quest has been to lean more toward wisdom and away from foolishness. But life ain't over yet, so let the leaning (and learning) continue. Thank you for joining the journey. I hope it benefits you. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  It started with a voicemail from a client. His message said, "I've got a situation - a problem. I could use your advice. Call me back." The problem? A relationship. A couple of relationships. At some point during my questioning him, for my understanding, he stopped and said, "What I thought was the problem may not be the problem. Guess I'd better make sure I'm solving the right problem, huh?" That's solid insight - especially when it's a relationship problem. During the holiday season, relationships are often strained. It might be a good time to examine how we solve our relationship problems. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  "My ambition didn't allow me to fail," said Jack Barsky, an ex-KGB spy who was a sleeper agent in the United States. Barsky was quite successful in avoiding detection. Until he was, then no amount of ambition would prevent authorities from moving in. He stayed around his smart spots for years, navigating North American culture to spy for the Soviet Union and his faith in communism. Barsky might argue that over time, he learned how corrupt and wretched communism was - and how he had been brainwashed to think the pursuit of Utopian socialism was the ideal course of action. Armed with high intelligence, Barsky figured out the need for his smart spots to change, so he changed his mind to become politically a modern-day conservative. We usually think of being smart around spots regarding achievement in business or some other pursuit. Barsky reminds us that being smart around spots can - and probably should be mostly focused - on our learning ability. To see things more clearly. To remedy our delusions. Too few of us are geniuses; even genius has a severe downside. Sometimes, we can be too smart to be wise. We may even become stupid in our genius. I'm thinking of serial killers like Ted Bundy, reputed to be high-IQ individuals who arrogantly thought they were smarter than law enforcement. But they were caught by mostly average intelligent people who stayed focused around their spots of expertise and training. With enough time and sufficient clues to follow, law enforcement often (thankfully) figures it out. As we've all heard about criminal behavior, criminals must remain lucky daily, while law enforcement often just needs one moment of luck to capture them. Thankfully, most of us aren't Soviet (or even American) spies. Or criminals. We're just ordinary Joes and Janes going about our everyday lives. I've realized that it may be an act of genius to a) recognize our smart spots, b) stay around those smart spots, and c) understand if/when those smart spots disappear or change. All of it is hard. Thomas Watson's quote makes it sound far easier than it is. And given IBM's success, I have little doubt he mostly accomplished it. Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon, is said to have this quote posted on his refrigerator... "To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” Perhaps Mr. Watson's quote and that quote attributed to philosopher and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson are consistent. But Emerson's quote sounds more difficult, doesn't it? Seems downright daunting! Truth is, life is daunting. Success is hard. Failure is harder! Choose your hard. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

https://randycantrell.com/inside-the-yellow-studio/ The link above is a comprehensive list of the gear inside The Yellow Studio. Assume every link is an affiliate link. Ironically, I chose to make this an audio, not a video. Yes, that was intentional. I hope you'll click PLAY. It started in 1997. This podcast. It was a handheld Olympus digital recorder. No SD card. Just built-in memory. It was less than $100 and I'd been using it for a while to dictate work notes and ideas. Audio was easy. And cheap. Well, recording it was easy. Getting it online was a bit more cumbersome. Getting it off the Internet to listen was infinitely more difficult because we knew nothing of MP3, today's defacto standard audio file format. My digital recorder used some funky format, but it was still possible to hear it from a website with a domain name a foot long, comprised of a bunch of letters and numbers (a free web page that came with my Internet service provider - ISP - Flashnet). Somebody other than my family found it because my first email came from somebody in Sweden. It blew my mind. It was all done with a digital recorder, a dail-up modem, and an Internet connection. Add in a bit of rudimentary HTML skills, so I could build an ugly website, and you had the first iteration of Leaning Toward Wisdom. I dubbed it that because it was what I was trying to do - lean more toward wisdom and away from foolishness. I was 40 years old and that was 27 years ago. Within a few years, I got serious. I registered LeaningTowardWisdom.com and invested a few thousand dollars (okay, probably closer to three thousand) for a rack of equipment and a couple of Heil PR40 mics (an amateur radio operator friend recommended them). That was The Yellow Studio for many years, recording into a Mac computer using software I can't remember until I found Twisted Wave, a Mac audio recording/editing software recommended by a voiceover actor friend. I bumbled along for a few more years. My audio quality was a point of pride and I was regularly complimented for it thanks mostly to good room acoustics thanks to a ton of books AND to Aphex 230 voice processors (one for each mic, I had two). My broadcast workflow meant that whether I was on Skype (later Zoom) or recording, my audio quality was always the same. I went for years without investing anything more. That rack of gear and those two Heil microphones were stapmles inside The Yellow Studio for years. Audio was easy. And after that initial investment, cheap. The ongoing costs were maintaining domain names and website hosting (I hosted my own audio files for years before learning I should get a media host). Eventually, I found MapleGrove Partners thanks to a buddy, Jim Collison. They would host my site and my media files because they're podcast-friendly like that. But beyond that, I had no real costs. People entered podcasting trying to figure out how to do it as cheaply as possible and I never understood it. I don't hunt. Or fish. Or bowl. Or golf. I don't collect anything (well, I once collected books...but only to read). I had no hobbies except this. That's still the case. Buddies who were into all of those things (and more) would regularly spend hundreds or thousands of dollars every year. Most of them weren't wealthy. They were just ordinary guys who enjoyed whatever they were in to. They didn't think twice about investing in hobbies they loved. I loved podcasting and I had saved for a good while before buying my initial setup. Admittedly, I made a sizeable investment, but it was calculated, planned and well thought out. It stood the test of time, too. I produced untold podcast episodes with that rig. Then Rode, an Australian company, bought Aphex, the makers of my favorite vocal strips, responsible for how my podcast sounded. It didn't affect me...until it did. Around 2019, Rode introduced a mixer with Aphex technology built in. Wait a minute, what?

Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm—but the harm does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves. - a line in the T.S. Elliot play, The Cocktail Party It's another episode of Free Form Friday for October 11, 2024. Enjoy. Links: Hot Springs Village Inside Out, the podcast - HotSpringsVillageInsideOut.com  Barry Switzer article at EPSN Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  “It's a bizarre but wonderful feeling, to arrive dead center of a target you didn't even know you were aiming for.” ― Lois McMaster Bujold Serendipity. Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you've found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for.   --- Lawrence Block Travel light and trust in serendipity.  --- Mike Brown Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now. Stories abound of people pursuing one thing and stumbling onto something else. Something better. It's likely happened to you, too. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

John Newton said, “I am not the man I ought to be, I am not the man I wish to be. I am not the man I hope to be. But by the grace of God, I am not the man I used to be”. He was a slavery abolitionist who had once been a slave trader. Perhaps that context provoked his statement. I can't fully relate to the first 3 statements in the quote... I'm not the man I ought to be. I'm not the man I wish to be. I'm not the man I hope to be. Not because I'm perfect, but because I'm dedicated to improvement. My own. Most of the time I am the man I ought to be because a) I know what kind of man I ought to be and b) I work to be that man. More easily, I know the man I wish to be and I'm working to be that man. Ditto for the man I hope to be. For me, the terms "ought," "wish," and "hope" are all synonymous, but ought is the most important one. How do YOU determine what "ought" means? What's it based on? Mine is based on the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We all need a standard, some measurement against which we can examine ourselves. I heard a city councilman on a YouTube video about a horrible drug scene in a major U.S. city remark on how addicts needed faith. Asked if he meant faith in God, he replied that to beat addiction - something he had done himself (he wasn't the man he once was) - a person needed to believe in something bigger than themselves. For many, it is God. Since God is THE supreme being without a peer, it makes logical sense that it should be God. But the term "ought" means more than having faith in something. It means having something to serve as a standard for your life. Life is filled with standards. They serve us daily. Time has a standard. Every minute has 60 seconds. Every hour has 60 minutes. Every day has 24 hours. Every week has seven days. Measurements have standards. One gallon contains 128 ounces. We pump a gallon of gas in our cars with some assurance that we're getting a full gallon and not something else because the government inspects gasoline pumps to ensure they're accurate. These two examples occupy all of our daily lives. Without them, life would be much more chaotic. Without standards imagine how crazy our houses would look. With no standard of measurement to follow all construction would be ridiculous. Some try to convince us that we can establish our own rules of conduct. You get to decide what's right for you. What you "ought" to do. And that might be very different from what I "ought" to do. But that defies the whole point of a standard, an authority. How about I decide that a gallon of gasoline isn't 128 ounces? It's 150 ounces. Ridiculous! Nobody would accept my personalized "standard." Rightly so because it's not a standard. It's an arbitrary desire. And that's what is happening today, stretched to the point of being ridiculous. The Bible contains the truth of how humans have always tried to behave when they don't want to recognize God's higher authority, which always has mankind's best interest. "Every man did that which was right in his own eyes," Judges 21:25. It speaks of ancient Israel who rebelled against Jehovah because they did what they wanted and called it "right." Calling it "right" or what we "ought" to do doesn't make it so. Not unless we're the standard bearer and in matters of right, truth, and morality...we're not the standard. If we were then societies that once sacrificed children in the fire to false gods would have been approved. Nazi Germany would be free from condemnation because in their eyes, they saw it as "right." No, there's got to be some standard recognized as the authority. It's God Almighty. Despite modern culture's refusal to acknowledge, much less follow, God's standard, mankind must accept all the visible, scientific, and written testimony of God's existence and rule. Man or woman. Boy or girl. I'm taking off on John Newton's quote only because like him, I'm a man. It would equally apply to a woman,

I learned early in sports that to be effective - for a player to play the best he can play - is a matter of concentration and being unaware of distractions, positive or negative.    -Tom Landry Distractions destroy... Creativity Productivity Efficiency Accomplishment Love Contentment Relationships SUCCESS HIGHER ACHIEVEMENT Distractions embraced equals selfishness. Colossal selfishness. Because it's pride that drives us to distraction. Past beliefs about yourself won't carry you into the future. Side hustles became a phrase and thing over 70 years ago, but I suppose there's always been moonlighting. That is, going to work, getting off work, then going to another job, even if it's part-time. Today, in 2024 the side hustle isn't what it was - a way to supplement income so you could feed your family. Now, it's an income-producing hobby, often called a passion project, indicating it's something the person claims to love. Presumably more than they love the thing that earns them the biggest chunk of their income. “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” - James Clear Others have replaced "systems" with "training." Probably more true - you don't rise to the level of your goals, but you fall to the level of your habits. That and more on this episode of a "free form Friday" show! Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

"It's amazing how someone can break your heart and you can still love them with all the little pieces." -Ella Harper Mutually desired relationships are likely going to include some heartbreak. I've had my heart broken. I'm certain I've broken a heart, too. Not like you're thinking - I'm hardly a heartbreaker! But I do have the ability, like all of us, to hurt or injure somebody I care about. Sometimes the heartbreak is because of loss. Like when I lost Rocky and Rosie to old age. These two White West Highland Terriers were fixtures in our lives for the better part of 16 years. Rocky passed first. I was heartbroken. Rosie passed and I was wrecked. They didn't do that to me. Losing them did. Husbands can break their wives' hearts. Wives can break their husbands' hearts. Friends can break each others' hearts. Partners and co-workers can, too. Let's discuss this topic just a bit. Mostly, we'll get our toes wet and contemplate how to improve avoiding hurting those we care about most. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

H is for home. Since last year, for the first time in our lives, we have split our time between two homes, both starting with "H." Hurst, Texas, and Hot Springs Village, Arkansas. But last night we spent a night in another "H" home - Holiday Inn Express in Hurst, Texas. Yes, we had a good reason. When you're having knee surgery and your bedroom is upstairs...you improvise. That meant finding a local hotel for at least one night to avoid the staircase. Enter Holiday Inn Express at 820 Thousand Oaks Drive, Hurst, Texas - mere miles away. It all began when I was told I'd be on crutches at least for the first day following having my knee scoped. I hopped on one of those online find-a-hotel websites. How often do you search for a hotel in the city where you live? Me? Never. I was looking for location, reviews, and pricing. There were several hotels in the area where I was looking. All of them were close to the highway, which would be necessary because I had work the next day and wanted to be able to jump on the highway quickly. My wife chauffering me. I read a few reviews and settled on the Holiday Inn Express in Hurst, Texas. My surgery was in another DFW suburb, Southlake. But I wanted to be back in the Hurst area #TexasHome. Besides, it was mere seconds from the highway I needed for the following morning. The accommodations were ideal: king bed, mini frig, microwave, desk, sofa and coffee table, walk in shower (one of those kind without any door), and breakfast starting at 6:30 am. I booked it for one night, paying a few bucks extra for the right to cancel it and get a full refund - just in case my surgeon had to change my schedule (he didn't). Check in was 4 pm. Ok, no problem maybe I can check in early if necessary. I get all those usual pre-surgery calls you get. You answer a million questions and they confirm a schedule. Then days later they may change the schedule, pushing the surgery up or back. Mine was pushed up slightly. "Check in by 7:15 am," they said. Okay. I'm thinking check-in at the hotel is 4 pm. That's gonna be a problem because I'm likely going to be awake and checked out of the surgical center by 11 am. So I call the hotel directly. Let me introduce you to Susan Watts-Martinez, General Manager of the Holiday Inn Express in Hurst, Texas. She answered the phone patiently listening to my dilemma. She looked up my reservation, noticing I booked it through an online website. She confirmed I had booked a king room. "I'm happy to pay a little extra to check in early," I said. "No problem, I can take care of you, Mr. Cantrell," she assured me. This was a couple of weeks in advance of my surgery so she made notes in their system that I'd need a room ready to go before noon. Yes, I told her I was coming there following surgery in Southlake. "We'll take good care of you," said Susan. "Just call us that morning. I'll be here by 7:30 am. That way we'll make sure your room is ready." I thanked her and thought no more about it. Until we checked in. As I crutched my way into the lobby Susan came outside and said, "Randy?" "Yes, ma'am." "Enjoy your stay and we hope you have a speedy recovery," she said. I thanked her and went inside making my way to the first room on the first floor, just past the front desk and workout room. Convenient and a short amble down the hall. We enter the room and straight away I notice on the coffee table a bundle of homemade chocolate chip cookies and two bottles of water with the above note sitting nearby. Handwritten Note From Holiday Inn Express, Hurst, Texas "Look at this, "I said to my wife. We remarked how nice that was, then I noticed a large white gift bag with a black ribbon tying the handles together. "What's this?" I asked. I opened it and found a new 50" x 70" gray chenille throw. 50" x 70" gray chenille throw I immediately unpacked it and laid down on the bed on top of the covers noting how hard it would be to maneuver under t...

Let's define "partner" broadly. It could be a spouse, a business associate, a legal partnership, an informal collaboration, a co-worker, or something else. In short, it's a joint venture of some sort. You get to define it the way that best suits you. My first partnerships were likely being a sibling to my sister who is 6 years older. We may have been too far apart in age to be a real partnership, but aren't all kids with brothers and sisters partners in some sense? I watch my grandkids and it seems not much has changed. As children, we had to learn to get along, work together, protect, and support each other. Okay, maybe there were some fights along the way, too. Once I got into school I'd often be teamed up with other students for projects. Mostly, I remember doing bulletin boards or something creative. The teacher would assign one or more people to me to produce something. It was my first real experience with frustration in a creative endeavor. I've thought about it often - how early on I should have known I needed to be more discriminating in the ideal partner. Or to consider whether or not I even need or want one. Through the years one phrase has captured my biggest challenge: being like-minded. That doesn't mean seeing everything identically. Nor does it mean coming to the same conclusion. I've wrestled with this notion all my life, attempting to distill the meaning of "being like-minded." Maybe there's a better way to figure it out, but my approach was to identify the source of my frustrations. What is driving me crazy and why? It always comes down to, "Is it me, or is it them?" That leads to wrestling with whether or not it's going to require compromise to lower quality. To lower the expectation. To accept good enough. To avoid reaching for something better. By the time I reached junior high, I knew I was cursed. There would never be a way out. So I started looking for some way forward. It didn't often happen so I learned to pursue things by myself if the thing was important to me. Think school projects. I had close friends. I had many more friendly acquaintances. I enjoyed being amongst friends. Humor and sarcasm were constant common denominators. But when it came to getting things accomplished, I was sober-minded. Serious. Maybe to a fault. A few people who didn't know me misinterrupted my introversion and seriousness for conceit. But that was never the issue because I never esteemed myself better than anybody else, albeit I did frequently think, "I wouldn't do that" when watching somebody make a foolish choice. I was compliant listening to teachers and parents. Mostly doing what I was told, behaving and always mindful of the situation. I was a noticer which made it easier to avoid problems, easier to read people, but impossible to avoid noticing. As a result, my inner signal-to-noise ratio has never been great. When you notice everything you learn to discriminate between the two, but it's important to distinguish between what you think you're noticing and true evidence. As a young adult, I began to seriously learn what I termed evidence-based intuition. Gut feel is terrific when you notice everything, but it's not error-free, even if it is mostly accurate. Pile on some questions that force you to consider what you know to be true, and the accuracy gets closer to perfect. I've now practiced that for over 40 years and I'm still working on it. The context matters lest you think I'm just a wild contrarian. I'm not. But I'm driven by accomplishment, not ambition. They can look similar, but the difference is selfishness. Credit. Glory. Honor. I don't much care about any of those. I care about the final product. I care about the conquest. Today, I often use the metaphor of "taking the hill." I'm driven to take the hill in the best method possible. The challenge, struggle and adversity provide the juice. Otherwise, everybody would be taking the hill. But not everybody does. And that excites me.

It starts with an innocuous request, but you notice it's not a request as much as information --- or a subtle command. The person on the other end of the phone is telling you what they're going to do. The problem is that it involves having you do something for them. Something you never agreed to, and something that is an imposition. Worse yet, it's not a close family member. We're mostly ready, willing, and sometimes able to serve our immediate family members with requests that seem otherwise loaded with gall. ;) Not so this time. This is a friend. I use that term very loosely. The friend is just calling to inform you of what you'll be doing for them because they need it and expect it. No questions are asked. No consent is offered on your part because it's just not necessary. This "friend" has called with 100% expectation that you'll meet their need. There's not the obligatory, "Would you...?" or "Could you...?" They don't even ask how you're doing, or if you're up to your ears in your issues. The tone in their voice tells you that they know you have nothing going on nearly as important as what they've got going on. Or, it's the person who invariably calls you with instant ramblings of something only within seconds (or a few minutes at most) of telling you they need to go because they've: a) got another incoming call, b) got another call they need to make or c) got something pressing they must do. Translation: I called you because it was important for me to tell you this thing (which is NEVER important at all, or even substantial)...but now that I've told you, I have no further need for you. In recent months several close friends lament how often they get such calls. I listen intently to these stories, growing increasingly shocked at the audacity people display toward "friends." Each time I've repeated one story that happened to me over 20 years ago when a "toxic" friend asked me to do something professionally for him. I was home nursing fever and nausea at the time, but I got out of bed, dressed up, and attended a business meeting to help him out. I'll spare you the details except to tell you it was the last time I ever did anything for him. Instead, a few months later I made up my mind to rid myself of as many of the toxic people in my life as possible. He was first on the list. All take, no give - that's the best phrase I know of to describe toxic people who are always imposing on you without any regard for what may be happening in your life. And while I'm happily telling you that you should learn to say, "NO!" to them so you can say "Yes!" to better people - that's not the point of today's show. But it could be. People matter. Good people matter to help us. Bad people matter because they damage us. That makes it urgent for us to figure out when to say no so we can say yes. But I'm thinking more about creative endeavors. Particularly, podcasts and content (whether it's writing, audio or video). I'm thinking of the YES that first requires a NO. Mostly, I'm thinking about my consumption and creation. On one hand, I'm the audience. On another, I'm the creator. So what's the difference? And how does saying NO so we can say YES play into it all? Let's try to figure it out. I'm asking for a favor that I hope is NOT an imposition. Email me your feedback about this podcast to RandyCantrell@gmail.com I want to make Leaning Toward Wisdom more impactful - more meaningful - for YOU. I don't quite know how to best do that, but I have a high degree of willingness.  Mostly, I want to say NO to whatever devalues this podcast for you so I can say YES to whatever might make Leaning Toward Wisdom serve you better! Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

Well, it's not true that how you do anything is how you do everything, but still I'm rather fond of the concept because it works. For instance, do you step over things that need to be picked up? I don't mean snotty tissues or other debris that might be a campground for all kinds of filth. Say you're out walking on a trail and you see a discarded soda can. Do you pick it up or leave it? Some would pick it up and others wouldn't. There's also a 3rd group - those who don't see it. Or don't care. People who notice seem to always notice. People who pick up things seem always to pick up things. People who don't pick up something seem never to pick up things. I've found this to be mostly --- true. I pick things up. But not every time. Some nasty-looking tissue is likely going to remain as I walk past it. The place matters, too. If I'm on a busy sidewalk I won't pick up a gum wrapper, much less a snotty tissue. In that context, I'm not likely going to stop to pick up anything other than something valuable or something a person may have dropped. Still, how you do anything tends to be how you do everything. But that's not as powerful a phrase. Social media (mostly) has taught me I have a horrible deficiency. Okay, it's taught me I have many horrible deficiencies with this one included - I don't foster controversy. I'm not polarizing. Absolutes are powerful because they're polarizing and that gets attention. I don't clamor for or yearn for attention. Yes, I want the attention of some to listen to this podcast - and the other podcasts I produce. Yes, I want people to read, or at least scroll through, things I write. Yes, I want people to gain something from the sermons I preach and all the other content I produce - which means first, they have to pay some attention. For me, the context is always the message though. The thought. The question. Provoking thought in hopes our thoughts will drive us to change, grow, and improve. For the past few decades, I've been fixated on improving my ability to figure things out and finding ways to help others do the same. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

Bariatric surgeries have increased over 500% since 1998. Bariatric surgeries have exploded (that might not be the proper verb) in recent years. Part of the reason is the improved technologies to make it "minimally invasive," but I think it's primarily because people want a fast, easy fix. And now add a new found popularity of drugs like Ozempic ® making weight-loss even easier. Everybody wants fast and easy. Nobody prefers slow and hard. But there are some things where slow and hard provide a value not found in fast and easy. After a round of NFL playoffs games as the 2023/2024 season was winding down I heard a coach say something I've heard before, but something I hadn't heard in awhile. He remarked that great football teams do the hard things really well. For months I've thought about it even though I instantly knew he was right. There's beauty and wisdom in the struggle. Never mind that we don't always enjoy it. It benefits us. There's that old tale of a man watching a caterpillar struggle to escape its cocoon. Figuring he'd make it easier for the butterfly to emerge he got a pair of scissors and snipped parts of the cocoon. Minutes later some creature not even resembling a butterfly escaped the cocoon. Turns out by making it easy he had ruined any chance for the caterpillar to enter a phase of being a butterfly. The struggle required to wriggle out of the cocoon forced life into the wings. No struggle, no wings. No wings, no butterfly life. It's a good reminder of the value of our own struggles. Even if, in the moment, we can't quite see the future benefit. In Thy Paths Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

More specifically maybe...false assumptions about my (our) retirement... That you must have at least a million dollars to retire. That you really need three million dollars to retire with security. That you should delay collecting Social Security until at least 65, and preferably until 70. That you should travel. That you should do all the things you've always wanted to do, but never got around to. That you'll struggle with a sense of purpose. That you may struggle with boredom if you're not careful. That it will cost you much more than you figured. That it's important to have (and pursue) a bucket list. That you'll have much more leisure time. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Happy Father's Day 2024! My dad enjoying the sunshine The what was crystal clear. The how was no where in sight. Casey Neistat is the OG of YouTube, vlogging and social media creation. He's associated with New York, but it wasn't always so. Casey set his sights on NYC knowing he wanted to make it there. Without any idea or plan on how to do it. But he'd grown up hanging on by a thread so he was comfortable. Casey had two qualities that drove him, gratitude and optimism. A little boy with absentee parents. No restraints. No security. Hanging on by a thread. One man's ceiling is another man's floor. The desperation and despair drove him. Created him. Forged him. Watching Casey for years and knowing his story got me thinking about mastering the hang. The hanging by a thread. Handling risk and failure. Hanging on. Even by a thread because even a thread provides suspension above failure. And despair. In the thread we find hope. Enough hope to continue. Patience vs. impatience. A willingness to hang on by that thread for however long it'll take. Casey describes his early life as a life without any plan B. He was working 60 hours a week making $7.25 an hour working in a restaurant kitchen. What was he going to do? Move back to southeastern Connecticut where he'd grown up in despair? Optimism drove him to declare - both to himself and others - "I'll figure it out." Said Casey: "I was running from a pack of wolves. I knew if I slowed down or stopped, I'd be eaten." Thinking of Casey's story and how he described the early part of his journey to find success, I began thinking for the umpteenth time about how life circumstances impact us. It's remarkable how for some it becomes crippling baggage providing a million excuses. For others, like Casey, it's the catalyst that drives them to rise above all the tragedy and despair. That old meme remains true. Hot water makes the egg hard, but it softens the potato. I suppose it's the hot water that shows us what we truly are, but I'm still puzzled about the choices we make - and I do believe we choose what we become, unlike the egg or potato. When working with a group in my coaching practice I often deploy a number of strategies to create closer bonds. Trust, vulnerability, safety - these are all critical when we're trying to develop high-performing teams (or groups). Seeing each other as something other than a position or title serves all of us well. At work we rarely are able to show our full humanity, which is a shame because that's where our deepest connections are made. It's interesting to watch it happen. A group of people enter a room. They know each other. They have some context for one another. But many of them don't really know each other very well. Over an hour, or two, they begin to see other differently. They understand the past pain, suffering and struggle. We can all relate. Our story specifics may differ, but at a macro level - we're mostly similar. It's apparent that we all had many opportunities to decide, will we be an egg or a potato? Will the circumstances of our life - especially the ones we had little control over - harden us or soften us? And will that hardness manifest itself in a resolve to rise above it or will it be a hardness that drives us deeper into excuse-making, and blaming? Will it soften us in ways that cripple us and rob us of the confidence and resolve needed to succeed? Or will it soften us so we can be more compassionate and grow into better humans? Choice. Making up our mind. Will we hang by the thread with optimism? "Hey, look...I'm still hanging on!" versus "Oh, man. I'm just a thread away from falling." Hanging on by a thread is still hanging on. Just like "by the skin of your teeth" is still getting by. Sure, the margin is thin but it's a bit binary - you're either hanging on or not. Whether it's by a thread or a strand of threads. It's congruent with the theme of last week's episod...

  Kenneth Aronoff is a drummer for John Mellencamp. He's also part of a documentary, The Untold Stories Of Your Favorite Musicians. He talks about the early days with Mellencamp when he was asked to come up with a drum solo of sorts for a new song, Jack & Diane. When I first heard him say it my mind went into a few different directions. One, being good under pressure. Not everybody is. How can we improve that skill? Two, being good on your feet. That is, being able to figure it out in real-time, with the clock ticking. Again, how can we hon that ability? Three, knowing you're at a pivot point that could (no guarantees) change everything. How can we recognize the importance of this moment? Aronoff had enough of all three to handle this moment. “It's kind of funny...the moments on which life hinges. I think growing up you always imagine your life--your success--depends on your family and how much money they have, where you go to college, what sort of job you can pin down, starting salary...But it doesn't, you know. You wouldn't believe this, but life hinges on a couple of seconds you never see coming. And what you decide in those few seconds determines everything from then on... And you have no idea what you'll do until you're there...” ― Marisha Pessl, Special Topics in Calamity Physics (a novel) Pessl is a novelist who has crafted some great lines. Truthful lines. This is one of favorites. Life often hinges on a couple of seconds we never see coming. More accurately, it hinges on what we do in that moment. In those seconds. And while you have no idea until you're there, all the things we've done up that moment prepare us. I will prepare and some day my chance will come.  - Abraham Lincoln That line speaks to our ability and our optimism. The belief that we'll put in the necessary work and in time, we'll get an opportunity. I often wonder if we knew in advance of that moment, would it help us or hurt us? Might we live in constant fear and anxiety if we knew? It may be a blessing that when those moments arrive, we had little or no warning. In the last episode I talked about how special forces train so when the battle erupts, they react wisely (and well) automatically. So much so, they describe their reactions under fire as "it just happens." That's the value of preparation. It's the value of focus, intensity and dedication to constant improvement. It's also the quest to learn what we don't yet know. Ignorance isn't bliss. It can be disastrous when we act based on it. Many dramatic stories prove the point. Mostly, tragedies prove it. Hamlet. Romeo & Juliet. Stories where people lacked knowledge, but took actions based on it. Stories where they had 25 to save themselves, or somebody else...but they got it wrong. Tragedy has visited each of us, partly because of actions taken based on our ignorance. We thought something, but without full knowledge, or understanding, we got it wrong. The result was tragic. Maybe not life and death tragic, but some version of tragic none the less. 25 feet to get it right. Or to get it wrong. I began to consider the journey to those 25 feet, wondering how important those feet are. And how we might influence them. Reminiscing of my 25-foot-moments I tried to remember what led me there. What happened and how did I get it wrong? Did I get it wrong? Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

On Chris Williamson's Modern Wisdom YouTube show with Tim Kennedy, a Special Forces master sergeant and author, Kennedy was recounting the extensive training of special forces. In the fog of war there is no time to think when bullets start flying. It's all reaction. He details the many micro movements of firing a weapon during a fire fight, emptying the weapon and reloading - all within seconds. It's not a strategic - "I now need to do this" - kind of thing. It's something you've practiced tens of thousands of times. So much that when the moment comes, it just happens. It just happens. He said you practice it so much, that when the moment comes, it just happens! But first, it's a slow, arduous journey of working hard. Everything is hard, until it's easy. Everything is slow, until it's fast.  This is why most things remain hard to many people. They don't put in the work. It's why we remain broke, fat and miserable, too. And why too many of us lack faith, gratitude and compassion. Because it's hard work. It's not couch potato work! Some weeks ago I mentioned to Lisa Norris, my co-host on the Grow Great podcast (a podcast about city government leadership) that every high-performer I've ever known pursues the hard stuff. They're not complacent. They're all strategic in learning more, growing and adding to their arsenal. I remarked, "Everything is hard, until it's easy and high-performer are always chasing the hard stuff." Practice doesn't make perfect, but perfect practice does. That's what we've heard for decades. It's absurd though because it presupposes that our work ought to be perfect in practice (when it doesn't matter as much). However, if the saying speaks to the process of practice being perfect (our willingness to put in the work by doing what we must in order to improve), then it's not absurd at all. When I heard Tim Kennedy's response I went back to notes I'd been making to myself about preparation (practice). I'm a lifelong fan of preparation. This - and all my podcasts - depict my fandom. I use a broadcast workflow because I'd rather prepare in advance of recording instead of just winging it, then fixing it all in editing after-the-fact. Besides, preparation is where I've found my confidence can be greatly enhanced. And I hate not feeling confident. What is confidence? Where does it come from? Where do we have it? Long ago I concluded that my confidence isn't singular. There are a few different types of confidence in my life. First, there's confidence in God. I'll call it a spiritual confidence. It's based on belief, faith and conviction. It's not an internal faith in myself, but rather it's my inner confidence in something and someone else - something much higher and more powerful than myself. My spiritual confidence is based only on the Bible because it's the only standard I have to inform me about God. Any other confidence based on feelings or intuitions or urges would come from me, not the Bible. That makes them susceptible to being mere delusions so I won't base my spiritual confidence on such things. Second, there's confidence in others. This is an external confidence based on my belief and trust in others. It may be based on past history or expected future. I'm confident that our family will help influence my five grandchildren to be successful adults, able to navigate their lives well. Ages 16 to 8, it's yet to be proven, but I have confidence in our family and in these children. Maybe it's an optimism based on the work we're putting in to help train them all. But it's not entirely based on the adults in the family. None of these 5 children have shown an unwillingness to be compliant to learn and improve. My confidence in others is based on past behaviors and on my expectations of their capabilities. It's not an absolute though because I'm not in control of what they do. I'm not confident they'll please me because that's not my expectation.

  Note: The picture in the featured image is my 100-year-old dad holding my 92-year-old mother's hand as she lay dying. She passed from this life on April 4, 2024. They were married for 73 years, a testimony to the power of companionship. Companion / Companionship a person or animal with whom one spends a lot of time a feeling of fellowship or friendship Do you want to be alone with yourself? And if not, then why do you think anybody else would ever want to be around you? What is it about you that might be off-putting? Or unsafe? Let's begin with a word, EFFORT. It's the thing we can all control. It's the igniter in the combustion chamber of success. Whether it's relationships - companionship, or some other pursuit - if we put in enough effort, we can always ensure our growth. Hard work may not result in an absolute win, but it will result in personal growth. The kind of growth that can impact every aspect of our life. “Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.”         ― Helen Keller In recent weeks I've talked a lot about my challenges with having too many spinning plates. This goes directly to EFFORT, which means we need to discuss another word, CAPACITY. There is a limit to our effort because our time is limited. And our ability is limited, too. Time is easy to measure. It's definite. Ability may be impossible to measure. I suspect we're all severely limited by our mind thinking "this is all I've got," when in reality, we can do more. Evidence of such things is the Navy Seal training and many other physical/mental challenges that people regularly conquer. The person who wants to run their first marathon may quit thinking it's too hard. But those who go on to run their first learn they're more able than they thought. Those who quit are convinced it just wasn't something within their reach. Like Henry Ford famously said... “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't --- you're right.” What if we believed - truly believed - we were more able? I have asked hundreds of executives, business owners, and other leaders a simple question: "Would you say that most of your dreams have come true?" 100% of them answer, "Yes." That doesn't mean every dream was achieved. Or that they've got no more dreams left to chase. It just means they achieved most of the things they set out to achieve. After they've weighed in, I'll then say, "Makes you wonder what kind of potential we're leaving on the floor, huh?" What if we dreamed bigger? What if we chased something seemingly impossible for us? Our lives seem to be proving to us that we might be able to achieve most things we pursue. Why shouldn't we reach for more? And why shouldn't we help others reach for more? Time is easier. Daily we say YES and NO. Daily we may say yes to things we'd rather say no to. We may also say no to things we'd really like to say yes to. All these decisions impact our time. They determine our calendar. And our calendar - those things we answer wrongly - determines our resentment and bitterness. Suppose I say yes to an invitation I'd rather say no to. Maybe I'm cowardly in the moment. Maybe I'm too worried about hurt feelings. Not my own, but the person inviting me. Maybe social pressures are in play. But for some reason, I give the wrong answer and now this dreaded event is on my calendar. Who is served by my wrong answer? Not me. Not my inviter. Nobody else in my sphere. Because I'm going to dread it and it'll certainly impact my demeanor and behavior. That doesn't mean I have to behave hatefully. I can certainly make the decision that's ideal in a polite way. I can be gracious and thank the person for inviting me,

  In 1982 I stood in front of a group of employees of the retail company I was running to tell them, "Who would have thought we'd reach a time when saying "please" and "thank you," "sir" and "ma'am" would be a competitive edge?" That was then. This is now. Superior customer service is rare. That means the opportunities are extraordinary! Seize the day. Abel seized the day. Here's his story, as posted on my Facebook profile. Abel with Schlotzsky's in Grapevine, Texas Schlotzsky's Grand Prairie, Texas Is Today's Customer Service HORROR Story (Small Hill Drive location) Rhonda placed an order via the app (something she's done with great frequency). Location: Grapevine, Texas. Problem: during checkout, the app encountered a problem with her saved credit card requiring that it be re-entered. Done. Order placed. Problem #2: during that payment problem evidently the order location changed from Grapevine to Grand Prairie. She didn't notice that until we were in the drive-through of the Grapevine location. She explained the problem and they politely said, "No problem. Just call them to get a refund and we'll make the sandwiches here." So we pulled into a parking spot to call Grand Prairie. She explained the problem and as they seemed to be helping her the connection went dead. I suspect they hung up on her (she was on the speakerphone). She dialed back. Explained it again, but this time it was a different person. "No, we've already made the sandwiches. No refund!" (Do this in the voice/tone of the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld and you'll be dangerously close to the sound of this man on the phone). She asked for the manager. "I am the manager." I took the phone to ply my powers of persuasion but without success. The Sandwich Nazi wasn't going to bend an inch. This $22 transaction was more meaningful than a long-time customer. I entered the Grapevine store to see what I could do. A pleasant gentleman behind the counter was taking orders. I was 3rd in line. Immediately I thought, "This store isn't run by the same folks that operate Grand Prairie." Turns out, I was right. As I explained our quandary, the gentleman said, "Oh yeah, you were just in the drive-through." I told him Grand Prairie refused to issue a refund. He was shocked. I asked what I could do. He asked me what we ordered and I told him. He punched it into his computer and said, "I got you." No, no, no - that wasn't the solution I was looking for and I insisted on paying. "No," he insisted, "I got you." I thanked him and told him I was going to share this story. I gave him my business card, took a quick selfie as he handed me the order, gave him a bro hug, and thanked him asking, "What's your name?" I'm pretty sure he said, "Able." If not, I apologize. It was busy and I didn't want to detain him. Schlotzsky's in Grand Prairie - Small Hill Drive - boos and hisses to your ownership and management for pathetic customer services Schlotzsky's in Grapevine - kudos and salutes to your ownership and management for stepping up to do the right thing. A special shout-out to the gentleman in the picture. He understands how to be excellent! NOTE: Abel is his name! Hours later and I'm still very impressed with this man. Visit Abel and his staff at the Schlotzsky's in Grapevine, Texas and tell them you saw this post. Pursue excellence. Chase consistency in that excellence. Do it in your professional life. Do it in your personal life. There are opportunities everywhere! Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

Sloping seems more gentle than stumbling. And graceful. But when it comes to growing older it can be inaccurate. We don't slope toward a face plant. We stumble. We fall. Face-first into the ground. "Everywhere I look I see opportunities," I said. The conversation was about how we see the world and our place. Me? I have lived life trying to take various hills. Then quickly seeking out a new hill to take. Sometimes the hill is simply making it better. Always making it better - or trying to - is the curse of my mind. As I approach the beginning of my 67th year on the earth I know the end began on day one. Growing up, children only think about the present or the future. Age urges us to focus on the future and we increasingly lose track of the present. Today wasn't great, but tomorrow will be better. Until we realize our past is larger than our prospective future, which prompts us to remember. Old people don't tend to talk about the future, but they rehearse - often with boring repetition - the past. In the future, I'm liable to be guilty of the same behavior even though I hate it. I hope to avoid doing it. The end has begun. The end of many things has begun, sparking the beginning of others. Experience, not age, has taught me how little I know. And how far I have to go to reach my ideal outcome. Mostly, that ideal outcome is me. Not in some self-centered way, but in the sense that all I will ever contribute to the world is myself. Being my best self. Nothing else matters. My impact - whatever it may be - is all any of us have to offer. It's not a minimal thing either. It's massive. More so for some than others because our talents, drives, ambitions, and opportunities aren't equal. There's also luck. Mark Cuban remarked that luck was the difference between him being a millionaire and a billionaire. So it goes. I feel like I've grown. Evidence shows it's somewhat true. Never mind that some likely view me in light of the worst chapters - or sentences - I've written. Everybody can make up their mind about me, or anybody else. And they do. My days are spent focused on other people's lives. Largely on their professional challenges and opportunities. Sometimes the focus is solely on their personal lives because what ails them is deeply personal. Challenges come from all angles. Oportunities, too. The drive to make a difference is always the hill I'm trying to take. The methodology is asking questions. I figure things out by asking questions. Asking questions provides answers. Questioning answers clarifies existing answers. The focus isn't on me, so the questions are aimed at helping others figure it out. After all, it's not mine to figure out. It's a deep version of the old TV show, "This Is Your Life." It's not my life. I have my stuff to figure out. It's only about me so I can better understand, ask better questions, and improve at helping others figure things out. Relationships. Careers. Faith. Financial circumstances. Habits. Beliefs. Choices. Behaviors. Skills. Abilities. Perspectives. Hobbies. Preferences. Everything is subject to change. Everything decays. Decay starts at the beginning and continues until the end. But Eternity changes everything because according to God's Word, Heaven has no decay. Hell doesn't either. Bliss or torture without interruption. That's not how life on earth works. Bliss, happiness, joy, peace - they're all interrupted by decay. Each has enemies that disturb or destroy. Our lives are subject to change because other people have choices that can interrupt our choices and preferences. Some years ago I had different goals and dreams than I had just a handful of years ago. The changes in my goals were driven by the choices others made, which compelled me to change my mind as I tried to figure out my best path forward. It happens. To all of us. Those folks who enjoy blaming God for all the mishaps or misfortune in the...

February 1974, Baton Rouge. Near the entrance to Louisiana State University. A record store, my favorite hang out. Leisure Landing. I enter the store and a record is playing. It's alt-country. Weird. Because the guy's name is Ian Matthews. Ian isn't a southern United States name. I grab the album cover and begin to read the back. Two players who I already admire are on this record. Jeff "Skunk" Baxter of Steely Dan fame and David Lindley of Jackson Browne fame. I love both of these guys. I'm enjoying this record. Ian is an Englishman playing alternative country, folksy tunes. Some days you eat the bear... Some days the bear eats you. I've never heard this artist before. I've never heard this phrase before either. But I'm street smart and quickly discern it means, "Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose." That's today's show. A new episode from inside The Yellow Studio 4.0. Enjoy! Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

"The only way to learn how many plates you can spin is to break some plates. The question of capacity guarantees failure."        - T.S. Elliot He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.  - Jim Elliot (no relation to T.S. that I'm aware of) I'm not a plate-spinner. I am able to multi-task, but it's not actually multi-tasking at all. It's really intense focus on a single thing with enough speed to get a number of things accomplished over a short period. That makes it look like multi-tasking. Themes of the week have been: Self-control or self-regulation - manifested in the struggles people have with porn addiction, marital infidelity, alcohol, work, parenting, unruly children, loneliness and more Capacity and resources - what's our limit? Congruency - frustration in hearing people (often bosses) say one thing, but do something completely different Failing to figure out how or where we fit - not understanding why or how we're making a difference / wondering if we are I've got too much going on - too many irons in the fire. I'm working on it and I'll share more. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular. The scenery will make for a great backdrop. Plus, there are many places I'd like you to see. To help, click the link (or the image below) to donate any amount you'd like. Amazon Gift Certificates (use RandyCantrell@gmail.com). Thank you!

  Galatians 6:7-9 "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth unto his own flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth unto the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not be weary in well-doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." Show High-Lights Anybody can do easy. It requires resolve and grit to do difficult things. It requires skill, talent and solid determination to learn to do hard things well. We're the constraint. The value is in battling ourselves, not others. Feelings don't equal evidence. Figuring out what's real and what isn't is hard work worth doing well. Don't discount your will power. Don't over-estimate it either. It's a major component of the work, but it's not the only component. Who you surround yourself with matters. The environment we put ourselves in has a major impact in our ability (and agility) to navigate figuring out how to do the hard things well. We're all influenced by our surroundings. Guard your environment. Beliefs become reality. But delusions - which seem real - are still delusions. That's why evidence based living is still the path forward to mastering hard things. Consider what's possible even if you initially think it's not. Learn what you don't yet know. Figure it out. Just make sure you're not restricting yourself with false notions. Don't feel sorry for yourself or feel like others can do it, but you can't. Ponder your ideal outcomes. Imagine what might be available - and possible. Often, there's sufficient evidence for what probable, while we refuse to think it's even possible. It stops us dead in our tracks when we could be many miles further up the road to greater success! Compounding is powerful. Doing a little bit consistently over time likely beats trying to sprint until we're winded. Learning to do hard things well takes time and repeated efforts that become ingrained. Doing hard things well is habitual. Otherwise, it's inconsistent. Anybody can be a minor league player. Only those who perform well every single time can be major leaguers. Laziness and procrastination are easy. That's where the masses live. Don't be fooled into thinking you can behave just like them and achieve something greater than average. Or worse. Berating yourself is worthless. Accurate self-examination is priceless. See yourself for what you truly are and fix what ails you. Lean into your strengths. Shore up weaknesses so they don't derail you. Devote yourself to making yourself better in every way. Accept nothing less. Remember, you'll either make a way, or you'll make an excuse. Learning means making mistakes, but it means making mistakes where you're still doing your best - and making mistakes you know you can recover from. When you get it wrong - and you will - determine that you'll make it right. Only fools repeat their mistakes. Learn from yours and get better. Always be getting better! Working is hard. Retirement is hard. Health is hard. Sickness is hard. Being in a great relationship is hard. Being lonely is hard. Whatever you choose to name, on either end of the spectrum - it's hard. Every day we get to decide which hard we'll pursue. But there's a major difference in the positive things that are hard. They require more effort on the front end. A higher investment upfront. By doing that, we may be able to forego a tougher consequence. Self-discipline is the key. Let's be clear about the definition of discipline. Discipline is the quality of being able to behave and work in a controlled way which involves obeying particular rules or standards. Self-discipline is our ability to control ourselves.  Execution matters! If we're going to learn to get good at doing hard things well, we have to find the way to do them well more often than not. Ideally, to do them well all the time, every time.

  About 15 years into my podcasting journey I recorded an episode entitled, A Virtual Tour Of My Podcasting Studio. I published it 9 years ago today, January 25, 2015. In 2019 I published an update, Welcome Inside The Yellow Studio (This Is How I Podcast Now). Since then I've tried to keep a page on my personal website updated - Inside The Yellow Studio. The technology has changed monumentally since I began almost 24 years ago. Things have gotten so much easier - and so much more refined. As much as I enjoyed those early years when all of us were figuring it out, today is better. Today's show is less about the operational part of podcasting though and it's more about the metaphor of The Yellow Studio - creating, publishing and sharing. It's about the broadcasting of stories, ideas, observations and insights. It's about a journey into creativity. Well, it's about a journey deeper into creativity. I won't bore you with the earliest memories of the journey which began in childhood engaged in all sort of acts of imagination. As much as I love to learn, which requires mounds of consuming (reading, listening, observing), I'm more in love with creativity, crafting something from mostly nothing. Starting with a spark. Sometimes small. Sometimes not. A burning ember sometimes. A bolt of lightning at other times. Creativity takes practice. As in, you have to do it. Also, as in you have to do it repeatedly to improve. Bouts of creativity against not being creative at all have prevailed my entire life. As a little boy playing with an impressive Matchbox car collection to laying in the yard looking up through the pines at the clouds wondering what to do next. Enthusiastic hours spent building a fort in the woods or a treehouse in the backyard coupled with lethargic hours spent telling ourselves we had nothing to do. Boredom always best fought off by engaging the gears of our imagination so we could create hours of delight often doing something we'd not done before. Or doing things we'd done a million times before. And ready to do it again one more time because we loved it so. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular. The scenery will make for a great backdrop. Plus, there are many places I'd like you to see. To help, click the link (or the image below) to donate any amount you'd like. Amazon Gift Certificates (use RandyCantrell@gmail.com). Thank you!

Shameless An adjective meaning insensible to disgrace Retirement A noun meaning a withdrawal from one's position or occupation or from active working life or the age at which one normally retires The United States adopted an initial retirement age of 65 with the Social Security Act of 1935. By the mid-20th century, almost all countries had adopted a retirement age of between 60-65. About 40% of Americans receive Social Security retirement benefits as their exclusive income. The average benefit is just over $1700 monthly. Financial advice is varied, but advisors widely suggest no more than 70% of your retirement income should come from Social Security. If you were to collect the average amount - $1700 - then you'd have a monthly income of about $2400 if that math worked in your life. That's $28,800 a year, hardly a comfortable living for most people. However, as of this year (2023), the average check to 65-year-olds is about $2500 a month. Apply that 70% suggestion, then your total monthly income could rise to $3600, or $43,200 a year. That's $14,400 more than $28,800. Lots of people are doing the math urging folks to collect Social Security as soon as possible - age 62. For some, that may make sense. For others, it may not. I'm not an accountant or financial advisor. I'm just a guy sitting inside The Yellow Studio making observations about all this now that I'm 66-1/2, full retirement age. Full Retirement Age Full retirement age (FRA) is the age you must reach to receive full retirement benefits from Social Security. Your FRA varies depending on the year you were born. The FRA in the United States is 66 years and two months for those born in 1955, increasing gradually to 67 for those born in 1960 or later. Since my wife and I were born in 1957, 66-1/2 is our FRA. I achieved that in November and Rhonda hit it here in December. Life is more than numbers, but the numbers matter. What about things other than numbers? Routine and habits tend to overpower older lives. Neuroscience informs us that we're all subject to habituation. Habituation Habituation is a decrease in response to a stimulus after repeated presentations. The American Psychological Association says it involves "growing accustomed to a situation or stimulus," thereby diminishing its effectiveness. We commonly call it being stuck. Getting in a rut. What produces satisfaction or happiness? Meaning is number one. Control is number two. We need meaning in our lives. Some way where we measure our worth or value in the world. We also need a degree of control over our own lives. Freedom is choice - the ability to make a choice is largely how we execute control. As we grow older both of these can be challenges. No surprise because both are challenges no matter our age. We've all experienced moments where we hit a high in meaning and control. Like that first big raise we got, it didn't seem to last. Things seem to settle into some sort of a norm sooner than later. The hedonic treadmill is the idea that an individual's level of happiness, after rising or falling in response to positive or negative life events, ultimately tends to move back toward where it was prior to these experiences. It's like that proverbial set point for our weight. Changing that thermostat is hard. Doable, but hard. This is where habituation is a double-edged sword. It helps us progress and move forward even though it may rob us of some joy. And without habituation, we're incapable of moving. Imagine having to make every little decision afresh every day. How exhausting would that be? So we need habits to a point. We just need to be mindful of our need for - the benefits of - change! New things. New experiences. New learning. Growth. Scary can be good. Sure, it can be bad, too. But just because it's scary doesn't mean it's one or the other. It means scary is uncomfortable because it's outside our habits.

Sorry. My usual show notes don't exist. And I was too lazy this time of year to write them. But I do have a couple of calls to action. One, join us over in the Facebook group if you care. I'd love to have you in the group. Two, support my efforts to lean hard into video in 2024. My goal is to crowd-fund $1000. I'm about 50% there so it's coming along. But you can help me out if you'd like (see below). Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular. The scenery will make for a great backdrop. Plus, there are many places I'd like you to see. To help, click the link (or the image below) to donate Sweetwater Gift Certificates (use RandyCantrell@gmail.com). Thank you!

I appreciate you all very much. Thank you. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular. The scenery will make for a great backdrop. Plus, there are many places I'd like you to see. To help, click the link (or the image below) to donate Sweetwater Gift Certificates (use RandyCantrell@gmail.com). Thank you!

The Reality Distortion Field. Guy "Bud" Tribble was Vice President of Software Technology at Apple Inc. As Apple was developing the first Macintosh computer in 1981, Bud used the term to describe Apple's founder Steve Jobs. The term seems to have originated in a 1966 episode of Star Trek when it was used to describe how the aliens encountered by the crew of the starship Enterprise created their own new world through mental force. It seems the great thinkers who are doers, like Steve Jobs, embrace (and enjoy) living in the reality distortion field of their own making. That is, they see things the rest of us don't. Vivid imagination coupled with obsession drive produces the likes of Steve Jobs and Elon Musk. Is it distortion though? It is when compared to the current state. Coupling the term "reality" to it makes it seem as though it's delusion. Something that's inaccurate, or unreal. Not true to the reality. Like a photograph that's distorted. Or the lenses in a pair of mis-prescribed glasses. The achievements of self-driven maniacs to build great things, or to solve complex problems don't seem to the result of delusion though. Rather, they seem to be imagined by people capable of seeing what the rest of us can't. Yet. “No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.”   ― Aristotle The madness is subjective. What appears as madness to one feels ordinary to another. “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”   ― George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman I think that term better conveys the truth, unreasonable. It's less of a reality distortion field and more of an unreasonable - or beyond current reasoning - view of what is possible. It's a reality bending field where the unreasonable man adapts or bends the current reality into a new, improved future reality. Then continues to do it over and over again. Apple is introducing the iPhone 15. I'm currently producing today's show on a 2023 Apple MacBook Pro. Nevermind that just this week Apple introduced some brand new MacBook Pro models. In 1984 I purchased the first Apple Macintosh computer. That was then. This is now. Not even Steve Jobs, in 2011 at the time of his death, could have imagined the current technology. Had he lived, he most certainly would have figured it out though - and who knows what bigger, better products may have emerged under the Apple brand name? Steve Jobs died 12 years ago (October 5, 2011). Who knows what he may have imagined? Or what things he may have seen as persisted in trying to bend the present technology to fit his vision? It's what unreasonable men do. Mostly, unreasonable people find a way, not an excuse. We embrace different degrees and characteristics of unreasonableness as we navigate the various chapters of our life. “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”  ― T.S. Eliot How unreasonable are you? And in what ways - or about what things - are you unreasonable? Are they positive or destructive? Some of the titans of innovation have been so focused on what they see and what they want that others around them pay a high price. Sometimes, it's a price willingly paid. For example there are stories of high level employees of Apple and other high-performing companies where they burned out due to the intensity, pressure and elevated expectations. Opting for employment elsewhere, some experience boredom though because the pace is slower, the expectations lower and the strain much less difficult. In the absence of those things that burned them out they realized there was a void in their daily joy so they returned back to the company from which they resigned. Is that unreasonableness positive or destructive? Maybe both. There are other stories of these mono-maniacs on a mission (Tom Peters coined that phrase in "In Search of Excellence") who...

There's a Chinese proverb that declares owning two houses is a path toward madness. That's probably true, but I wouldn't know. I've never owned two houses 'cause I've never been part of the rich and famous. ;) I'm practical. And I'm not rich by American standards, but I'm extremely wealthy by global standards (and by my own measurements). I'm content with my life and grateful for every blessing - most of them are priceless any way! From my practical viewpoint I've never quite understood folks who maintain multiple houses. Even the super rich. The exceptions are those folks who spend a lot of time in multiple places. Do the math and it just doesn't make much sense to me. I remember reading about super rich who own homes all over the world. This particular article mentioned how many days each owner was at any given house. Outside of their primary residence, most spent mere days at the other places. At most. Some admitted they had not visited some of their houses in over a year. Yet, these houses - admittedly mansions each and every one - had hundreds of thousands invested annually just to maintain them. Given that you can rent anything from a single bedroom to a mansion, I just haven't figured out the economic sense of that kind of home ownership. But it's their money and I respect their right to do what they want with their own money. I don't get a vote. I don't want a vote, but I would like to understand. Could be it's far more satisfying to claim ownership of all those houses. At a more common level may be people who have a primary house, then some vacation house. Years ago I first encountered somebody up lived in a northern state. They'd talk about going to "the cabin" on a weekend. I had visions of some nice getaway place in a remote area. Maybe on a lake. Certainly in some woods. Turns out they had a very small place in a more touristy area that was by a lake. I never saw it in person, but pictures of it showed it was a very modest little 2-bedroom, 1-bathroom house built decades ago. They had purchased it for under $50,000 many years ago and the annual cost was as close to nothing as you could probably get. They'd go visit this place each month, sometimes more. Rather than plan annual vacations they had decided - years earlier - to invest in a single place they felt they could enjoy year after year. That made sense to me. I know some other folks who invested in a vacation place they weren't able to visit more than a couple of times a year, but it was a place where they hoped to retire one day. As the years rolled on, the property value increased proving they had made a smart purchase by buying it when they could afford it. In some cases, the cost of living in some of these places escalated beyond their reach and they found it better to sell. Sure, they made a handsome profit, but that retirement goal was completely wrecked. In other cases, the property value went up but the people could still afford to cash out of their primary residence to retire to what was once their vacation house. Having a second place to go - a place to get away to - appeals to many of us. Maybe it's fully an American thing to own a second place versus being able to rent a place. Calling it our own certainly feels differently. But it can feel badly if it's too expensive or too much work. Sometimes the things that seem awesome turn out to become a big nightmare. Here's an article by Financial Samurai, Reasons Why You Should Not Buy A Vacation Property." You'll find lots of online information and many horror stories. I'm sure for some, it works out magnificently, but it deserves sober thought and an awareness of what could go wrong. But I'm not here to tell anybody what to do. Rather, I'm going to share what we're doing and then you can figure out what lessons might benefit you. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal

To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with. —Mark Twain Rhonda and I went on our first date on July 2, 1975. On January 2, 1978 we were married. This coming January 2, 2024 will mark our 46th anniversary. Today, let's talk about marriage. More accurately, let's just dip our toe in the water of conversation about marriage. Enjoy this old Vince Gill song about old love. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular. The scenery will make for a great backdrop. Plus, there are many places I'd like you to see. To help, click the link (or the image below) to donate Sweetwater Gift Certificates (use RandyCantrell@gmail.com). Thank you!

So we can take full advantage of what they know. Their insights, experience and wisdom need to be more easily passed on. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular. The scenery will make for a great backdrop. Plus, there are many places I'd like you to see. To help, click the link (or the image below) to donate Sweetwater Gift Certificates (use RandyCantrell@gmail.com). Thank you!

Critics are men who watch a battle from a high place, then come down and shoot the survivors.   -Ernest Hemingway I was 11 when I learned how men will clamor for power and authority. Sitting along side my father I watched men wrangle, argue and get worked up. Cooperation was absent. Collaboration wasn't even an afterthought. The only objective was, "Who is in charge?" And it was apparent to me that more than more man wanted the role. Hence, the wrangling. Life rolled on and as a young teenager working in a stereo store I saw more of the pecking order. I'd grown up seeing it so it wasn't new. First appearance was likely on the playground as we'd all try to figure out what we'd play. Invariably somebody installed themself as the contrarian - the person who would go against what everybody else wanted. I quickly realized it had nothing to do with preference and everything to do with control. Power. Authority. Hoping to gain an advantage that might be imposed on the rest of us. Thankfully, I grew up in an American that wasn't yet awakened. #Woke Mostly, such tactics didn't work because we refused to cooperate. Lemmingitus would arrive later in America. It's now a global epidemic. Bullies almost always ran up against a tougher opponent. Or a group of people who figured together they could conquer a single bully who might have a few buddies hanging on. I was still in elementary school when I learned a verbal punch to the mouth could back a bully down. Quickly. It didn't hurt that I wasn't a shrimpy kid. I was tall and husky. Husky was once a size of boy's clothing. ;) True. Bravery to confront the bully wasn't hard for me. Watching, listening, paying close attention taught me mostly there was substantially louder barking than actual biting. Besides, I wasn't terribly afraid of being bitten. Justice and rightness were more important to me. And peace. By the time I was in 6th grade I was a world-class peace keeper. Experience will do that. I've no way of knowing how many fights I broke up. Or how many arguments I shut down. Enough that it taught me lifelong lessons in how to do it successfully. Mostly, I didn't want to be in charge, but I didn't want anybody else to be either. That is, I knew my parents were my authority - and God. But we're all out here in the yard playing and why did we need somebody to be in charge? Seemed best that we all just work to some agreement so we could get on with the business of playing before it got dark and we all had to go home. Playing was way more fun than arguing or fussing. I grew up. And increasingly saw men (I'm excluding women only because as a boy growing up my experience was mostly with other men) willing to behave poorly as they fought for positions of power. Or esteem. Pride goeth before a fall. I'd learned that from the Bible. Heard it preached at worship services. Knew Bible stories that illustrated it well. Ecclesiastes 10:6 Fools are put in many high positions, while the rich occupy the low ones. I believed it. I confess I've never had a day where I thought I was the smartest person in the room. Or the playground. Or at work. Or in the classroom. Rather, I knew I was not. Always dissatisfied with current knowledge and understanding I sought to learn more. Curious enough to ask the stupid question, I'd blindly ask without much thought to how ridiculous it might make me look. I figured I looked and sounded ridiculous anyway, so I might as well know and understand whilst looking and sounding ridiculous! As with most episodes, I've given this subject considerable thought for a long, long time. Mostly because my curiosity continues to grow on the subject of power, authority, control and tyranny. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular. The scenery will make for a great backdrop.

  Restlessness is discontent and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure.      - Thomas A. Edison Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular. The scenery will make for a great backdrop. Plus, there are many places I'd like you to see. To help, click the link (or the image below) to donate Sweetwater Gift Certificates (use RandyCantrell@gmail.com). Thank you!

During my first few months at a brand new job - my first job where I wasn't working for my dad - I had a routine. I'd get out of class, drive to work and within minutes of walking into the stereo shop I would make my way to one of the sound rooms (yep, we had actual rooms with various stereo equipment set up; each room had sliding glass patio doors). I'd slip the vinyl out of the jacket, put the record on the turntable, grab a record cleaner called DiscWasher and clean it. Then, I'd lower the tonearm, turn up the volume knob on the amp and enjoy listening to Earth, Wind & Fire sing their famous song, "Shining Star." The beginning (and middle and end) of that song continues to be among my all-time favorites. It was a terrific record. "You're a shining star, no matter who you are. Shining bright to see what you can truly be."   Let's get the obvious out of the way. Not everybody has the same brilliance in their shine. Truth is, some of us are quite dim with no shine at all. Dull. The wasted lives are visible proof. Too many lifeless eyes and emotionless expressions thanks to alcohol, Fentanyl and other narcotics. Others are so bright others have a hard time even looking at them (or listening to them). Most have overcome adversities few fully know or understand. People determined to find a path forward. Resolved to reach a higher orbit where only the shining people reside. Notice the lyric isn't "I'm a shining star, no matter who I am." Well, that doesn't quite have the ring, but I notice pronouns. You're - you are isn't the same as I'm - I am. But the "no matter who you are" is inclusive, right? In our heads, we don't often think or feel like shining stars. It's easy to see others as shining more brightly than we do. Just like it's easier to focus on what we don't have, than on what we do. Or to focus on what we can't do versus what we can. It's like we're always doing exactly the opposite of what's good for us. I've noodled around with this particular episode for over 3 years. The draft beginning has sat here inside my Wordpress dashboard that long. I'd come to look at it, think about it, write a little bit, then abandon it. Don't know why. It's not because I didn't like the topic. I guess I got distracted by other things. The likely explanation is that it's just too upbeat and positive. :D Rhonda's last birthday - this past summer - provoked a revisit of today's show idea. I used to whip her with a letter on every birthday. I don't mean the letter R or some other letter, but a hand-written or typed out letter. I haven't done it the last couple of years because I know it beats her down. She's not nearly as sappy or sentimental as I am. ;) I can't quite remember what prompted the beginning of this episode. Maybe I was thinking about Rhonda being the foremost shining star in my life. And now, as we're nearing the end of another year, maybe that provoked some ideas. Then there's all this talk about mental health and the recent suicides in the news. Then there's the rampant disease of comparison-itis where so many folks let other people determine their level of satisfaction or happiness. It's especially rampant during the summer, vacation months where people Instagram their exotic vacation photos. And others view them with envy wishing they could afford a single night at a local fancy hotel. Envy is a bitter thing. As I am wont to do, I was thinking of these, and a variety of other things when I came back to this post. A person you love very much. Let's start there. In my case, my wife of over 40 years. Who celebrated a birthday last Sunday. Our family is officially celebrating this coming Sunday. We do things like that. Delay celebrations to match a more convenient time for everybody. I was playing that Earth, Wind & Fire record - That's The Way Of The World - as soon as it came out in January 1975. Rhonda and I wouldn't go out on our first date until July 2, 1975.

Many motivational speakers talk about having had a bad day. Most go on to share how they lost it all, or how life crushed them down below the ground level. Or left them homeless and destitute. But... The Phoenix will always rise back up. Never mind that quite a few stories we hear are fabricated. But not all of them. Let's talk about truth though. True stories. Your story. My story. Reality.   "You had a bad day." Pain is a common topic for many people. I'm not talking about physical, injury-based or sickness-based pain. I'm talking about victim-based pain. "You hurt me," kind of pain. "You did me wrong," kind of pain. The Internet has increasingly become a place where people enjoy airing out all their dirty laundry and pining about how much trauma they've experienced. For those inclined to see themselves as victims, the Internet is boomtown! A thriving place to enjoy feeling sorry for oneself. And for blaming others for one's lot in life. In spite of Tik Tok influencers who want to blast the boomers (my generation) for failing to understand things like work ethic, or why we have no clue about life in the world today, or a host of other complaints which every younger generation makes about the older generation (read your history and you'll find many of those hippies who attended Woodstock went on to become quite successful on Wall Street and other places associated with financial success). Every generation thinks it's the smartest one to ever come along until they get old and realize how wrong they were. ;) I don't care about where anybody is on the timeline of life because there's nothing we can do about it. I didn't have a say in being a baby boomer. I just was. My kids had no say in being Gen X or Millennial. By the way, if you're as confused as I am about these labels I found this chart to be helpful. Until I saw that chart I didn't know there were 2 distinct groups of Boomers. It's such a big group I suppose they figured it deserved to be split up. Generation Jones Boomers are those, like me, who were too young to be drafted into military service because of the war in Viet Nam. Our parents were mostly those Post War folks, people whose dad served in World War II. Times Are Always Changing And with it, language. Words like trauma. For my generation trauma, suffering and pain denote something very different than they do for a Gen Z person. Being slighted by somebody, snubbed or even ridiculed isn't any of those things for me, but they're common among Gen Z. If you were write a mean, hateful review of this podcast for Apple Podcasts I would not think much of it. I certainly wouldn't be traumatized by it. It would likely cause me no discomfort. I might be puzzled by it, but my viewpoint would have a lot more to do with the author of the review than me. I'd likely wonder what's happening on somebody's life that might compel them to use such a platform to air their grievance. And it'd be likely that the person to write such a review would have never reached out to me because that's not how these things tend to go. But take that same scenario and apply it to a podcaster half my age and it could devastate them. Might even cause them to quit podcasting. A single hateful review. A complete stranger wielding that kind of power seems strangely weird to me, but I see it constantly. Podcasters (and anybody else doing something) consider themselves traumatized by some unjust critic. The trauma is only possible because we give others permission. We say YES to whatever it is we think is happening. Or we reject it and move on with our life, which is what I choose to do. A person has a bad day. They take it out on me. And that affects me how? It doesn't if I don't let it. It can cause me to have a day, too - IF I permit. IF I decide I'm going to be negatively impacted by some ninnie who has no clue about me, or my life, or what's going on with me - some stranger who happens to ...

During a recent summertime hike we approached the bridge. A recent storm had blown through and knocked down a tree that fell across the bridge. Not a big deal. We just stepped over it carefully. Thankfully the bridge didn't suffer any major damage. Neither did we. It was an obstacle that wasn't there the last time we trekked through the area. It only slowed us down slightly. Some obstacles are like that. At first glance we may exclaim, "Oh no!" --- only to realize, it's not that bad. Or tough. Some obstacles are worse. That tree could have collapsed the entire bridge forcing us to improvise by adjusting our course over the creek below. The trek would have been slightly more difficult. The path wouldn't have been as straight-forward or smooth, but we could have followed the path forward. Mostly, it would have been an inconvenience. Life has shown me that's how most obstacles are. An inconvenience. We often make them out to be worse than they really are because they're unexpected. They make us spend more time lamenting their existence than we may in figuring out how to effectively navigate past them. Other obstacles are different and those are the ones I'm most focused on today. The obstacles that present themselves because we're intentionally forging a new path. A better path. One we believe will take us further. Or faster. And because it's a new path things appear like obstacles, but we really have no way to know because we've never ventured this way before. I wonder if we're seeing things correctly. For the past year plus I've spent considerable time analyzing a podcast that I began in June 2021 - Hot Springs Village Inside Out. I started the show with a co-host, but a year in we both got COVID and I had a whole lot going on. I remained very active behind the scene doing all the production work, including posting the shows and all that mundane but necessary work required to get a podcast out in the ether. I lost interest in co-hosting for a variety of reasons - mostly because it was a podcast about a specific community and I wasn't there as much as I wanted to be. My co-host lived their full-time. It just made sense to me to step away, clear my head - and my deck of all the stuff going on and figure out a path forward. A different, new path. In March 2023 I moved forward from The Yellow Studio v2.0 to v3.0. Then by May I moved forward some more by going to The Yellow Studio v3.1. You should know that when I built/assembled The Yellow Studio, I'd never done anything like that before. I started from scratch and had to learn. A lot! Over 20 years ago things were much more difficult and complicated. The technology for podcasting didn't easily exist. For a podcaster to do what I most wanted to do - operate using a broadcast workflow - it was hard and expensive because it required hardware. I wanted to hit RECORD and have my sound be as good as being on a Skype call. Yes, Virginia, we were once relegated to making Skype calls because all these other services like Zoom didn't exist. This meant lots of hardware and even more cabling. Routing those cables was a major obstacle when once conquered left you staring in the face of yet another monster, adjusting the hardware so it'd sound just right. No sooner had I hurdled one obstacle, then I'd be facing a higher hurdle. Or so it seemed. Mostly because the learning curve was steep. But... Once the obstacles were overcome - and they all were - then it was easy. I simply fired up the machinery, got behind the mic and hit RECORD. Only if a cable or connector failed - or forbid, a piece of equipment failed (yes, it happened a few times), I had a very predictable workflow that...well, it just worked. Every path forward will most certainly have obstacles, if only your need to learn something new. Usually, there'll be other obstacles brought about by the result of traveling an unknown path. It's why forward progress is such an individual and personal journey.

I launched my webcam, put on headphones and sat behind the microphone to record "An Oral History." Parts 1 and 2 were recorded on March 11, 2011. Part 3 was recorded on January 16, 2017. Part 4 was recorded on June 23, 2022. I gave my children copies of Parts 1, 2 and 3. I haven't yet shared Part 4. Fifteen to twenty years ago I first crafted a document I named, "When I Die." In it, I outlined, in some details, what I most wanted to happen when I die. I would regularly change and edit the document, often driven by the death of somebody. The deaths of close friends would spark greater editing. Life events then began to dramatically impact the document. As my life changed I'd edit the document. I changed the document drastically in the fall of 2018 when I went through some dark times. Since then I've changed it more slightly - tweaking it. I just finished making minor refinements to it this morning, sparked mostly because of the death of "the last man standing." I made this post on Facebook on July 10, 2023... The Last Man Standing He was among a select group of older men who helped shape, influence and challenge me to become better. Always better. Johnny Elmore, Ronny Wade, Barney Owens and Don King were the giants in my life. Trusted advisors I could call about anything. Everything. And I did call them. I leaned on them because they were stalwart men I could count on. The Lord's work was always their top priority. My spiritual best was unquestioned. For wise counsel, caring challenges, or correction, I found none better than this group of men. They knew God's Word and how to apply it to our lives. They hopefully saw me at my best, but most importantly, they helped when things were at their worst. Loving the Lord and His Church was THE common bond, but all four shared a wit, wisdom and humor that resonated with me since I was very young. They were fun. Funny. And it mattered. Men who could laugh at themselves, and others. Men who were slow to "should" me ("you should do this or that"). Instead, they were men open to question. To question the answers we may have thought we already knew. To answer the questions we may have not yet dared to ask. Truth seekers, each one of them. Truth tellers, all of them. I loved them all very much. For their knowledge, experience, insights, wisdom and candor. Don was the last man standing in my small, but vital circle of influence. At Ronny's passing I told him so. We talked about how as life rolls along we lose our mentors. I told him I may have to "get younger at that position." But there's no getting younger at that position. There's only the acknowledgement and gratitude that I had them for as long as I did. And I tried to make the most of it without being too intrusive. I came of age under the tutelage of these men. They were watchful protectors over every significant event and decision I made. In just a matter of months three of them were gone. Barney. Johnny. Ronny. I told Don I hoped we'd have many more years together in the journey. I said, "I'm unprepared to go it alone without at least one old man in my life...tag you're it!" We chuckled...unaware of how little time we had. But in spite of his health challenges in recent years as his outward man began to perish, I was confident that Don's inner man was being renewed day by day. That's a confidence I had in all four of the old men in my life. It's why I was always anxious to hear their wisdom, listen to their counsel and make my decisions accordingly. I'm thankful to have sat in the presence of these four giants who each helped me stand when I might have crumbled. Men whose influence is sure to outlive them. I loved them all. And felt loved back by each of them. The following audio was recorded in my house on Friday afternoon, April 19, 2013 when Don and I recorded a conversation about building a good Christian home - a recording I made for a handful of young men I was hoping to serve at the time.

"Thank you" is not just a complete sentence, but it's a complete prayer. Not comprehensive, but complete. Today's special, unscheduled episode addresses the fear mongering, the pessimism, the mayhem, the poor (pathetic) behavior worldwide and why we ought to intentionally exercise gratitude, optimism and fight! Something or somebody will have dominion over you. You get to decide. Sadly, many are allowing media, culture, government or opinions of others to rule their lives. Jerry Van Amerongen, my all-time favorite cartoonist, created this humorous approach to dominion. But it's a serious matter, deciding whom you'll serve.   Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular. The scenery will make for a great backdrop. Plus, there are many places I'd like you to see. To help, click the link (or the image below) to donate Sweetwater Gift Certificates (use RandyCantrell@gmail.com). Thank you!

  Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers only played this song 60 times. Tom played it by himself just once. I guess after writing the song Tom figured it really was time to move on. At certain points in life, a song like this could serve as a theme. We reach a point where we need a change. Or where we want one. Sometimes, a change is kinda sorta forced on us by circumstances. We need to leave something behind and start something different. Something new, hopefully, better. The older we get the more we encounter the need to move on. Sometimes it's a physical need. It's always psychological. Emotional (that just means we have feelings about it - it doesn't mean we're necessarily dramatic about it). Our lives are largely defined by routines. Okay, sometimes our routines become ruts, but mostly our routines serve us. They keep us sane and on track. They prevent us from having to add a million little unnecessary decisions, giving us the opportunity to do many things on auto-pilot without much thought. They help us combat anxiety. Routines are wise tools. Until they no longer serve us. Or until they're detrimental. A routine can be different than the morning rituals you may be thinking about. A routine can be the current state of your life. The ways things are - and the way they have been for a while. There's no time limit required to qualify something as "routine." Nothing lasts forever. Well, to be more accurate - most things don't. That includes the circumstances of our life, which are part of our routines. It's the current state of things in our life. Current is a description that would indicate the present, which implies there's a past and a future. Things change. Sometimes we move on. Or we should. How can we know when it's time to move on? Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular. The scenery will make for a great backdrop. Plus, there are many places I'd like you to see. To help, click the link (or the image below) to donate Sweetwater Gift Certificates (use RandyCantrell@gmail.com). Thank you!

Be a buffalo. It's an old tale, which happens to be true. It was also a podcast episode here. Courage is hard. Fear is easy. We're all afraid, but that's no excuse to avoid fending off our monsters...and cutting them down to size. Or pulling them up by the roots! Let's lean harder toward wisdom and away from our foolishness...and our fears. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular. The scenery will make for a great backdrop. Plus, there are many places I'd like you to see. To help, click the link (or the image below) to donate Sweetwater Gift Certificates (use RandyCantrell@gmail.com). Thank you!

Wishing you well on this first Monday in September. I'm hoping to finish 2023 strong. You? Thank you. All of you. For your time and attention. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular. The scenery will make for a great backdrop. Plus, there are many places I'd like you to see. To help, click the link (or the image below) to donate Sweetwater Gift Certificates (use RandyCantrell@gmail.com). Thank you!

It's continuous improvement. That's the objective. The thing being improved? Storytelling. It really boils down to all communication. I wrote down the title of today's show in a little notebook years ago. I was thinking about this podcast and the craft of podcasting. I've purchased and read many books on storytelling. Exceptional storytellers are rare. Most people are guilty of today's title - filling their story with unnecessary (extraneous) details that don't contribute to the story at all. Let's wrestle with this idea a bit and see if we can learn to lean more toward wisdom. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular. The scenery will make for a great backdrop. Plus, there are many places I'd like you to see. To help, click the link (or the image below) to donate Sweetwater Gift Certificates (use RandyCantrell@gmail.com). Thank you!