Head of a Codfish: A podcast about modern working families

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF020_Katie.mp3 Share this episode with a friend In Episode 20, we talk to Katie who has 4 primary school aged children and works as an art teacher. We talk about the realities of a 2 teacher family, learning to say no as an act of self care and which parent the school rings when a child is sick. The Lowdown - Family of 6- 1 parent working full-time- 1 parent working part-time- 4 school-aged children 1:45 How much sleep are you getting?9:46 You handled a bad sleeper, let’s see what else you can handle 10:26 Away from family when having young children 10:50 Who are the members of your family? 11:20 Setting the mum bar high 12:00 Maybe we were really good when we growing up? 12:30 Paid workload 13:40 2 teachers, ideal or harder? 14:00 3 different schools 14:46 Kids schools hours are always shorter than parents hours 19:04 Parent teacher interviews with children and parent’s schools 16:12 Husband travelled for work when children young 17:04 Took more family-friendly teaching jobs 17:36 Kids not doing sport have too much energy 17:52 Parenting superpowers? – Death stares! 18:12 Multitasking 18:20 Saying no 20:30 Husband’s parenting superpowers? 20:38 Discipline 21:26 The rock 22:00 Setting standards 22:22 Setting the standard when another parent is doing the leg work. 23:00 Standards slipping 24:10 What standards are achievable? 24:36 Expectations for parents these days 28:00 Children starting to get more freedom. 31:44 Having a day when you don’t need to rush off 33:155 Moving to Australia 33:44 Going back to work earlier than expected 34:05 The year of 3 drops offs 34:22 So much energy 35:10 Getting an ironing board into the car 36:22 Being able to get to own children's events in school hours 37:10 Husband encouraged to apply for high-level jobs 37:36 Women told to stay in their lane and not expect much career-wise 39:10 Go for the job! 41:00 Only half the population has to consider being away from your family more to work full time 41:42 Know my limits 41:48 Priorities 42:40 What works well? 42:52 Husband working full time but can still do some pickups and dropoffs 43:28 Need to renegotiate hours every year 44:06 Found a decent balance now 45:04 Maxed out 45:26 Downsides? 45:40 Crazy messy house 45:52 One-on-one time with kids 46:25 Most of the downsides relate to home life 47:00 Next steps 47:05 Eligible for long service leave soon 48:00 Would like husband to want to slow down and work less hours at some stage 48:12 Another career, won’t necessarily be teaching anymore 49:22 Being creative and being a parent 50:16 Doing art at school all day and kids then want to do art at home after school 51:00 Having a creative mindset 51:54 Birthday cakes are a blind spot in the creative department 52:40 Time and freedom to be creative is hard 54:54 Are your family responsibilities catered for? 54:26 Part-time grey zone 55:24 There are opportunities to negotiate 56:04 Working part-time as a teacher, can’t necessarily be 4 days a week 57:10 Don’t have the ability to rearrange your work day, need to be in front of the classroom 57:44 Husbands work environment 58:02 Expectation that mothers are required when kids are sick 58:44 Is the pressure on the husband more because he is a dad and working full time? 58:58 Full-time workers have a greater capacity to take a bit of time out during the working week 1:00:26 Don’t want to let other co-workers down 1:00:36 Who does the school call? 1:02:10 Assume dad is at work but not mum or grandmother 1:02:40 Disastrous moments with pregnant bellies 1:04:42 Nothing like I thought it would be 1:05:12 Didn’t expect to come back to teaching and enjoy it so much after having kids 1:05:28 Showing children example and standard for working mothers 1:07:10 Any advice? 1:07:16 Benefits from jumping in the deep end with work earlier than expected 1:08:12 Getting that job has opened up opportunities to grow and learn 1:08:30 Take a risk!!

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF019_Abi.mp3 Share this episode with a friend In Episode 19, we talk to Abi who has 2 primary school aged children and works 4 days a week. We talk about being open to different possibilities with childcare and sharing the load of school pick up and drop offs. The Lowdown - Family of 4- 1 parent working 4 days- 1 parent working full-time- 2 school-aged children 3:26 How much sleep3:34 Enough!3:50 Who is in your family4:18 Parenting superpowers4:22 The organiser4:50 Minister for social engagements5:10 The online calendar6:18 Child pick up appointment in work calendar6:36 Calendar blocked out so meetings can't be scheduled7:00 Husbands parenting superpowers7:06 Fun, handy, practical7:30 Challenges children more8:30 Children and safety/risk9:30 Feeling comfortable to say no10:24 Children making you brave10:56 Don't want them to see your fear12:00 Flying14:00 This is a bloomin small plane15:08 How is childcare managed15:30 School holidays16:00 Have you been able to choose your path?16:16 Fairly in control16:26 Childcare availability brought things forward16:50 Working 1 day a week initially17:20 More flexibility once you are part of the childcare system17:54 Been able to get the amount of care we needed18:10 1 day a week was a bit weird19:00 Building up days of work21:04 What works well21:12 Sharing pick ups and drop offs21:28 Kids getting older and being more independent22:32 Downsides?22:38 Tight time budget at work22:50 Not much wiggle room23:56 Dump them at the school gate25:12 Watching the clock and doing the minimum hours26:30 Staying late then doing the after-hours activity pick up28:08 Any other combinations?28:44 Kindy hours29:04 Shared pick up with a friend, each picking up both kids on one day while the other worked.29:48 Later a paid arrange with same friend for a full day30:10 Made the difference between doing kindy and doing childcare that year31:10 Friend more flexible with hours than chilcare31:40 Had arrangements for sick days32:22 What worked best?32:30 Childcare is so straightforward34:54 Next step?35:24 High School with no OSHC35:42 Back to 2 different schools and no longer walking together37:54 Are you families paid work environments supportive?38:06 Flexibility40:00 Value and support employees so they stick around40:30 Funny or disasterous moments?41:02 Travel/sleep/clock fail44:42 Is family what you thought it would look like?45:14 Parents on the same page with parenting46:06 Any advice?46:12 Be flexible, ask for help46:30 Be aware of your workplace culture around flexible work46:48 Be open to ideas47:00 Don't be afraid to make changes Let me know what you thought of this episode!Leave a comment below, leave a review on iTunes or Stitcher, contact me via Facebook, Twitter or email.Or even better join the Codfish Squad and talk to me there.               

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF018_Jo_Part2.mp3 Share this episode with a friend In Episode 18, we have Part 2 of my interview with Jo who is balancing a high-level career and being a single parent to twin girls. We talk about the structure of organisations that do not work for employees or the company, how commitment and good work in the workplace is measured and the scope of Carers Leave. The Lowdown - Family of 3 - 1 working parent (0.8) - 2 school-aged children - Grandparents providing after-school care 3:44 Do you feel like you have had a choice in your path? 4:00 Many constraints, very finely tuned and any small change will have a large impact 4:30 Financially really need to be working full time 4:40 Work 0.8 for sanity 5:20 Would love to work from home - to do full time hours or do school pick up 5:42 Work flexibility to do more work 6:00 Assumption is always that people looking for flexible work options are trying to do less work 6:28 Inflexible hours don't allow you to make up time 7:00 Working from home with sick kids would actually allow me to work more 7:48 Assess work on output not hours at work 8:08 Part time staff feel guilty and over deliver 8:18 Being present doesn't mean you are working 9:00 Rules or culture? 10:12 The advantages of offering flexible work 10:52 It's not doing less work, it's a better fit for the same work 11:00 Individualised work structures 12:12 Very hierarchical institution that has single point of failure built it 12:40 Actually puts individuals under more pressure because they can't be away on x day 13:18 Leadership potential but hard to break through to leadership 10:02 The funnel is blocked 14:20 Change the way we structure organisations 15:20 Mining companies with women in the executive teams make more money (Source: http://www.miningglobal.com/operations/study-mining-companies-need-more-women-board-room) 16:20 My work less about profit but all about return on investment and doing a good job 16:54 Sought out current employer due to robust EBA and strong focus on women's workforce participation 17:34 Referee who made a point of candidate being a single mother 18:40 Berated for not disclosing single parent status.....wonder why anyone would not disclose that!! 19:00 Why disclose and give them the opportunity to discriminate against me? 19:14 Always apply for full time roles and negotiate your way down 20:24 You do know this is a full time role? 21:22 Can a project based contract role be done differently - part-time over a longer time period. 22:00 Need to have the conversations to challenge and change mindsets 22:20 Why are we locked into this view about when and where work happens? 23:44 Sportsperson allowed time to participate in sporting events 24:48 Acceptable reasons for flexible work 25:52 Number of hours at work is not an indicator of work commitment, you could be at work full time and not give a toss about the workplace 26:34 The placenta switches off career ambitions doesn't it? 27:06 The mummy bucket 28:08 Request to work full time but work from home 1 day. It was a NO. 29:28 If we give you work flexibility we would have to allow others to do so also (shock horror!) 30:10 We all become each other's timekeepers, pitting staff against each other 32:10 Carers Leave - only for emergency sickness and injury 32:56 There is caring of children we have to do that is not emergency related 33:10 Applied for Carers Leave for school holidays 34:34 Carers leave balance (12 days a year) would allow for more planned care during school holidays rather than fake sickies. Let me know what you thought of this episode! Leave a comment below, leave a review on iTunes or Stitcher, contact me via Facebook, Twitter or email. Or even better join the Codfish Squad and talk to me there.        

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF017_Jo_Part1.mp3 Share this episode with a friend In Episode 17, I interview Jo who is balancing a high-level career and being a single parent to twin girls. We talk about life as a single parent, the real cost of work travel for a parent, and the double-edged guilt sword of carer's leave. The Lowdown - Family of 3 - 1 working parent (0.8) - 2 school-aged children - Grandparents providing after-school care 3:23 Sleep! 4:20 Focusing on children when they are awake 4:38 Buffer at the end of the day before sleep 5:02 Decompressing before sleep 7:18 Important things (like podcast interviews!) done after kids bedtime 7:51 Morning routines 8:16 Pocket money for getting ready on time in the morning 10:40 Rewards that can apply to just one child 11:12 Who are the people in your family 11:22 Single parent with twin 10 year old daughters 11:40 Current workload - paid and unpaid 12:22 School drops offs 12:54 Grandparents cover school pickup and after-school activities 13:16 The 'good' kind of after-school activity 14:02 Autopilot pickup fails 14:46 Grandparent/grandchild relationship 16:19 Having other authority figures involved 17:00 Always have to be the bad cop, grandpa can be the good cop 18:14 Parenting superpower 18:16 Knowing my kids and what drives them 19:33 The 'hangry' child 20: 01 Sense of justice 20:50 Looking at things a different way 22:04 Not just doing everything really slowly 23:50 Can drive you mad but at the same time you don't want them to lose their childlike ways 24:04 Balance between developing a useful adult and breaking them 25:26 Being a twin mum requires you to be more task focused and not always enjoying the moment 26:38 Random supermarket twin mum encounter 27:42 Different stages with twins - separation, getting mobile 28:06 Twin mum a mothers group with mums of singles 29:24 STOP! 30:10 What works well? 30:22 Children on the same page 31:50 Grandparents support 32:18 Side steps the 'management' of OSHC 33:02 Having a manager who has a single mum 33:39 The mummy button 33:52 Attending a work conference as a single parent 34:10 Travel allowance including childcare costs? 35:45 The real cost of work travel to a family 37:36 Is the extra load OK for partners and families 37:48 Be organised 38:36 What doesn't work well 38:44 Doesn't take much to throw things off kilter 39:28 The two types of guilt, maternal guilt and employee guilt 39:56 Employee guilt 'wins' often due to working 0.8 40:50 You don't get a medal either way 41:56 The difficulty of being the driver for change in a workplace 42:26 What is the next step for your family? 42:34 Working full time 42:30 Children looking at future employment options 43:56 Making children aware of finances and implications of choices 44:22 Entitlement in children 45:16 Entitlement in monetary and non-monetary terms 46:36 Pocket money for doing chores around the house? 47:12 That's what our family does 48:16 Life is an adventure 48:58 Is family life what you thought it would be? 49:08 NO! 50:18 Modelling healthy relationships to children problematic 52:12 Having twins 53:27 There are 2 heartbeats! 55:28 Wish people were more honest about life with a newborn 56:24 It is not all a nappy commercial 57:20 Different personality types deal with it better 58:08 Away from all family when having small babies 1:00:20 The expectation that there is a right and wrong with parenting 1:00:44 Comparison between parents 1:01:12 Parenting advice 1:02:20 Teething and wind 1:03:00 Gripe water - who has the gripe? Let me know what you thought of this episode! Leave a comment below, leave a review on iTunes or Stitcher, contact me via Facebook, Twitter or email. Or even better join the Codfish Squad and talk to me there.        

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF016_WorkFlexibility.mp3 Share this episode with a friend In this episode, I want to take a bit of a deeper look at one of the things that I think is really key for working families, and that is workplace flexibility. There are several fronts where flexible work can make working parents lives easier. On a day to day level it can help parents work around school or pre-school operating hours, or work at a time of day that fits in with family responsibilities and allows for better productivity, allows for out of the ordinary appointments or events to be taken care of without a major hassle and also just make the dual responsibilities of work and family co-exist more harmoniously. Stepping back and taking a broader view, it can help parents of school-aged children work around the many many weeks of school holidays, help parents to feel less overloaded with responsibilities and allow parents to take a more active role in things like their children's sports team or activities. More and more often I am seeing workplaces offer flexible work arrangements, and increasingly in job adverts, I am seeing flexibility listed as an attribute of the workplace and an option that will be available to the successful applicant. This is great to see and to very honest the more I see this the more chance I have of finding a job that I can give my best to! But what we don't want to fall into is the trap of seeing flexible work as doing less, working less or achieving less. Overwhelmingly when people talk about flexibility at work, it is their work being assessed as a 'number of hours at work', When we focus on that aspect, it encourages a correlation between the number of hours worked and how 'good' an employee is. The more hours worked the more valuable the employee. Just think of the scenario of the last one to leave the office being praised by management, and the person leaving in time to do the school pickup being seen as 'slacking off' or 'taking advantage'. This metric (which is known as presenteeism) means that when an employee arranges their days and weeks so they can get to school pick up or go to children's appointments or events, they are seen as achieving less, being less committed and therefore less valuable to the workplace. To look at it a different way, this metric means that employees who are seen as more valuable and are more likely to advance are going to be those that are not toeing the childcare line.....and statistically, we know that currently that is mostly men. But a different metric to assess value is how productive we are, what we are achieving in our work and how effective we are in the time we do work. Research is showing that employees (both men and women) that are at work fewer hours have a greater sense of balance in their lives and a greater ability to look after all their life responsibilities. As a result, they are more content, more productive at work and easier to retain in the workplace. Some suggest that in reality, people working 4 days get more done than those working 5 days, that fewer hours leads to higher efficiency and productivity within those hours as opposed to long passages of time that are easily wasted. We all need to challenge our perception of flexible work as 'working less' and think of it more as 'a better fit for the same work'. We need to view those working full-time hours but in a more flexible way as having the same value as those who work 9-5 in the office. Instead of part-time work being seen as a less productive 'cop out' option, it is time to get acquainted with the idea of the 'power part-timer' - a highly productive person who is sharply focused on their work and get's in, gets the job done and gets out - the model of ultimate efficiency. We also need to challenge our perception of flexible work being only for women who have young children. When fathers negotiate work flexibility in their career,

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF015_Helena.mp3 Share this episode with a friend In this episode, I interview Helena who is about to complete 3 years of study to start a new career. She is a mother of twins and we talk about how that has influenced her path, the education system and working in a female-dominated industry. The Lowdown - Family of 4 - 1 working parent (full time) - 1 parent doing study and placements - 2 school-aged children 1:46 Sleep on a scale of student to not student 2:30 Good sleepers 3:00 Who are the people in your family 3:16 Work travel and study 3:38 Mum and Dad close by 3:58 Studying full time and placements 4:50 Overnight help with children for shift work 5:40 No other students have kids so can be more flexible and can swap shifts 6:40 Watching study happening from a distance 7:18 Not a lot of belief in myself as a student 7:40 Education systems failing students 8:16 Valuing traditional subjects more highly, creative subjects ranked lower 8:50 Linking up students on the Autism spectrum and businesses that value those skills (The work I was talking about here is the Dandelion Program as talked about in this article and video https://itspmagazine.com/itsp-chronicles/cybersecurity-and-autism-the-values-are-obvious) 10:30 Schools not designed for good educational outcomes and life skills 12:12 Overvaluing university education 12:50 Don't all need to strive for the same thing 13:36 Parenting superpowers 14:20 Independence in children 14:50 Independence Day at school 16:38 Confidence and being out of your comfort zone 17:08 Going into situations with confidence 18:10 Not looking like the one who feels like they shouldn't be there 19:00 Raising a child with the kind of adult you are producing in mind 19:44 Looking for things beyond being 'mum' 20:10 Twin mum experience 20:58 Intense and compressed parenting of pre-school aged kids 21:10 Twins always have someone else to take new steps with 22:20 Parent of first child at school 23:18 Sending kids out with set instructions for acceptable behaviour 24:12 Husband's superpower 24:16 Patience 25:04 Mothers watching sons become parents 26:30 Men growing in the emotional intelligence department when becoming fathers 27:20 How are school drop offs and pick ups organised 28:08 Big effort from mum! 29:08 School holidays don't match up with uni holidays 29:42 Holiday at the grandparents! 30:04 OSHC cost prohibitive on one income 30:50 School holidays are hard work! 31:46 Swap kids with other parents 32:04 School activities that work for all ages/genders 33:26 After school activities 34:02 Spending a whole day at kid sports 34:24 Do you have a choice in your path? 34:44 Uni hours not flexible 35:30 Flexibility to contribute to own rosters 36:08 University study was a choice you could make 36:58 If I am doing this study then we are REALLY doing this 37:50 We are all in this 38:22 Adjustment of going back into work for men and women 39:38 Wife buffer 40:20 Doing study that costs money and not bringing in any money 41:44 Achieve more when on placement and I have less time 41:58 Semi-procrastinator 42:08 Downsides? 42:44 Not spending time with the children 43:04 Bigger picture looks better once study has finished and at work 44:12 Shift work and night shift means more tiredness 44:20 Next step for family? 44:46 Working, a new unknown environment, transitioning to doing instead of learning 45:00 A holiday! 46:14 Going too long without a holiday 46:30 Using up leave of the 'mandatory' family events 48:06 Camping 48:58 Camping with young kids 50:12 LIttle ones can't escape from a portable cot 51:46 Are your family responsibilities well supported at work 52:00 Husbands work is family friendly 52:58 Fellow students and university have been really supportive 53:44 Placement is sorted out with other students more than workplace 54:50 University benefits from graduating class w...

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF014_Hayley.mp3 Share this episode with a friend In this episode, I get interviewed! Hayley is a mother of 3 who worked part-time (until recently) in Digital Marketing. We talk about the various different ways my family has been structured, what works best for who and being a family with 2 part-time workers. I was interviewed by Meaghan friend of the podcast from Episode 10. The Lowdown - Family of 5 - 1 working parent (full time) - 1 parent "between jobs" - 3 children - 2 at school - 1 at home/childcare    4:14 Sleep 5:00 Causing my own lack of sleep 6:32 Who are the people in your family and how are they occupied 6:56 Lots of running around and juggling 7:46 After school activities 8:00 Putting limits on activities 8:40 Doesn't work for school team sports 9:30 Late activities and meal rush job 11:30 Parenting superpowers 11:38 Looking after children's needs 12:20 Husbands superpowers 12:24 Gets stuff done quicker 13:30 Good combination of roles 14:00 Being fun at the end of the day 14:20 Working and having more energy at the end of the day for kids and domestic stuff 16:02 Being busier and more productive 16:50 How is childcare managed 17:20 Logistics of kids and cars and carparks 18:20 Finishing early for school pick up 20:24 Would you do things differently if you could? 22:10 The advantages of having no family close by 22:40 Forced us into different territory (which is a good thing!) 23:22 Jealous of others that have more immediate support 23:54 Develops different and better skills 24:40 What works well 24:58 Splitting stuff up between parents well 25:20 Splitting up the finishing at school time 25:50 Downsides 26:20 Less balanced now than we used to be 26:58 2 parents working part-time 27:40 Handing over the medical appointments 28:54 Different combinations 29:06 Home based business/full time out of the home/1 day working from home 30: 10 Both be hands-on with those days 30:20What versions worked best? 30:26 Works best for who? 31:16 2 part-timers 31:30 Recently made redundant 32:14 Getting 3 in school 32:56 Employment is hard and I don't feel like I have the options 33:50 A bit all over the place with want I want to do next 34:22 If looking at part-time am I limiting myself too much? 34:38 Both parents working 4 days a good middle ground 35:22 OSHC and kids that would rather spend time with me 36:32 Not sure if 5 days childcare and OSHC would be a good thing for the family at this time 37:08 2-year-old still gets very tired 38:00 Would be meltdown city 38:38 Starting to get rid of the daytime sleep 39:50 The twilight zone between different sleep patterns 40:50 Family responsibilities well supported - some good some not so good 44:16 Working with people who aren't in the young children stage of life 46:10 Previous workplace could make a lot of improvements 46:48 Work was questioned not because of work outcomes but purely less hours 48:10 Flexitime and core work hours 48:58 Sharing the mental load - creates a gap for things to fall into 50:18 Kindy committee space cadet 51:26 OK on balance 52:16 Getting 2 kids to school has got better 52:54 Sports day subway fail 53:58 Kids use it to their advantage 54:10 Is this what you thought family would look like? 54:22 Feel the distance from family more than I realised 55:40 Parenting more physical than I thought it would be 56:30 Toilet training a 2-year-old with a newborn 58:28 Any advice 58:34 Talk about it 59:50 Read 'The Wife Drought' by Annabel Crabb 1:00:32 Be realistic 1:02:04 It is an evolution Let me know what you thought of this episode! Leave a comment below, leave a review on iTunes or Stitcher, contact me via Facebook, Twitter or email. Or even better join the Codfish Squad and talk to me there.     Don’t know how to listen to the podcast? Learn how Looking for more podcasts?

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF013_PodcastDay_Recap.mp3 Share this episode with a friend September 30 is International Podcast Day! To celebrate the occasion I have created a special Podcast Day bonus episode where I am going to look back at the past episodes and see what we have heard so far. First off, let's look at the people I have interviewed 10 working parents 8 women 2 men Out of the families we have discussed, we've had: 19 children 7 Parents doing full-time paid work 8 Parents doing part-time paid work 1 parent studying 1 parent out of paid work after a workplace injury 2 shift workers 3 families impacted by work travel 2 families with special needs children So what have we talked about? Well as you can imagine we talk about flexible work arrangements a bit. I loved getting Alina's perspective on flexible work arrangements as someone in the HR field. Extract from Episode 4: Alina So I think from the time I interviewed Alina there has been more and more evidence coming out that supports that view, that workers who have the ability to make work and other life demands happen more easily are more productive, balanced and loyal within their workplaces. So when you were listening to Alina speak just then, who were you picturing? Someone you know who is already working part-time? Someone at your workplace who job shares? A friend who does some work from home. Can I ask, was the person you were picturing......female? More than likely it was. I have written some of my own thoughts on flexible work arrangements in a blog post that I am going to read a passage from now: "Overwhelmingly when people talk about their flexible work arrangements, it is our work value being expressed in ‘number of hours at work’, where the longer the hours = the more valuable the employee. This metric means that by being at work less (working part-time, or taking time off for kids appointments or events) we are seen as being less valuable, achieving less, and being less committed. If we are trying to work fewer hours we are seen to be slacking off or taking advantage. Quite frankly this metric serves to further the careers of those not toeing the childcare line…..currently, that is mostly men. But a different metric to assess value is how productive we are, or what we are achieving in our work. Research is showing that employees (men and women) that may be at work fewer hours, but have a greater sense of balance and having the time to look after all their life responsibilities, are more content, more productive at work and easier to retain in the workplace. Some suggest that in reality, people working 4 days get more done than those working 5 days, that compressed intense passages of work can be more productive than long passages of time that are easily squandered. We all need to challenge our perception of flexible work as ‘working less’ and move towards seeing it as ‘a better fit for the same work’." Because while we are getting more and more on board with women working flexibly to fit in around family responsibilities which is a great step forward if we go back to the introductory episode of Head of a Codfish you may remember how we want males to be in the flexible work picture also. Extract from Episode 01: Introduction If at the moment we are not seeing men requesting flexible work arrangements in greater numbers, what are the barriers? As I discussed with Meaghan, there are a few obvious ones: the rules not catering for it, and then the culture of workplaces not being accepting of men who choose to take it up, and the men themselves attitude towards part-time and full-time work. Extract from Episode 10: Meaghan We looked more at the cultural and societal barriers faced by men looking for work flexibility with Alina, and I was kind of dismayed to learn that this had shaped the direction both of our families had taken in regards to divvying up the paid work.

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF012_Irene.mp3 Share this episode with a friend In this episode, I interview Irene who is currently studying and working out how to balance that with parenting her son and also being a carer for her elderly mother. She is living with the ever-present heaviness of grief after the loss of her husband and we talk about the sandwich generation, trying to prepare kids for the coming years, and single parenting. The Lowdown – Family of 3 – 1 parent studying part part-time – 1 child at school - 1 elderly parent    2:38 Sleep 3:30 Made a conscious effort to get better sleep 4:20 Trying to do too much after the kids have gone to bed vs. trying to get everything done during school hours 5:10 People with different rhythms living in the same house 5:38 Who are the people in your family 6:00 Mother and carer 6:24 Management of elderly mother as opposed to doing stuff for her 8:00 The Sandwich Generation 8:42 Quite a high level of sandwich with 3 generations living in the same home 9:40 Very big load being in the sandwich generation 9:44 Mother moving in added to the load but also had advantages for a single mother 10:14 8 am lectures on a school day 10:54 Another adult in the house who can provide child care, increasing adult interaction 11:24 Is extended family living in the same house a German thing? 12:30 Studying 12:46 Balancing study load, ability to still function OK, single parenting payment, university minimum requirements 14:00 Good balance about 12 hours on campus and 12 hours off campus 14:12 Feel like I need to put in extra hours compared to younger students 14:50 Very age diverse friendship group who are very caring 15:10 How to Uni hours and school hours line up? 15:24 Try to make it as 9-3 as I can but there are early and late lectures 15:50 Maximise every minute during school hours for off-campus work 16:00 Very little weekend study 16:40 The 2:30 lecture finishing time and school pickup 17:18 Parenting superpowers 17:20 Listening to my son 17:38 Children's behaviours related to children not feeling heard 18:06 Making children feel like they are being heard is harder with 3 kids because there are so many immovable elements 18:40 The only child who doesn't long for siblings 19:50 The superpower of independent play 20:00 The benefit of being a bit bored 20:48 The cardboard box is a great leveller 22:10 Husbands parenting superpower - patience! 22:26 Have less ability to be patient as a single parent living with a lot of pressure 24:34 Emotionally mature child, a big naturally and a bit due to circumstance 25:42 Growing up with responsibility 26:58 Can have responsibilities and still enjoy being a child 28:06 Using screen time differently - a shared activity instead of a distraction 28:50 Different daily rhythms between mother and son 29:52 Pushing out bedtime impacting on my time 30:24 How does that work with a teenager 30:58 Is the compliant child going to rebel more when they are a teenager? 31:54 Giving reasons behind the rules 32:40 Also need to be able to take things seriously even when there isn't a reason given 33:38 Peer pressure and teenagers 34:12 If it doesn't feel right don't do it 34:32 Mistakes are a part of learning 35:18 This time is a good playground for fleshing out learning about the peer pressure issues 36:26 Give them some tools now to use later when the stakes are higher 38:08 What works well 38:12 Routine and structure 40:30 All things hammock 41:20 Has to be between trees - NO STANDS 42:56 What are the downsides 43:10 No one of my generation in the house 43:40 Having to make every decision myself 43:50 Complex and difficult relationship with mother 44:10 Trying to please someone else 44:36 Children being proud of themselves not looking to make others proud 46:46 Having that self-confidence and not looking to peers and others for approval

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF011_SirLunchaLot.mp3 Share this episode with a friend In this episode, I interview Sir Lunch-a-lot, father of 2 and someone whose job involves a lot of overseas travel and eating out! We talk about frequent work travel, flexibility as a person in a leadership role, and family teamwork. His wife Kathryn's episode can be found here: http://www.headofacodfish.com.au/kathryn. The Lowdown - Family of 4 - 2 working parents - 1 full-time - 1 part-time - 2 school aged children    2:42 Sleep? 2:48 A reliable 8 hours 3:14 Who are the people in your family? 3:34 What is your parenting superpower 3:50 It's a joint effort and joint superpower 4:18 Partners parenting super powers? 4:38 Novelty factor when dad is around 4:52 Framework of expectations and behaviours 5:02 Developing independence in children 5:56 Masterchef! 6:38 Partner is better at fostering independence 6:58 I am the mother hen 7:06 How is the childcare managed 7:20 9 day fortnight and reduced hours 7:28 I do drop-offs and wife does pickups 7:36 A lot of work travel so wife does all when overseas 7:52 Stress on wife and relationship 8:00 The reality of 2 working parents with different demands 8:40 Transitions between all family home and someone away 9:16 8 weeks stint overseas 9:50 Sir Lunch-a-lot 10:20 Which country are you going to today dad? 10:30 Ability to choose your path? 10:46 Very much a team effort 11:00 Putting the kids first 11:14 Wife ends up bottom of the list 12:28 Flexibility in office work - not rigid shift work 13:16 Life would be very different without that flexibility 13:36 What works well? 13:56 School hours and weekdays are structured 14:00 Being particular about social life and weekends 14:14 Weekend kids sport 14:32 Comes at a cost 15:08 Things you learn beyond academic pursuits 15:16 Downsides 15:26 Wife misses out a lot 15:34 Work means I have to go back on home commitments previously made 16:28 Book club villain 16:36 I also would like to do more stuff outside work 17:22 Learning the guitar in your 60s 17:48 Learn a language in the car 17:52 The cheese is old and mouldy 17:58 Next steps in the evolution of family? 18:18 Greater level of independence 18:40 Wife could go back full-time 18:54 Wife has positioned herself well professionally to go back to other challenges 19:06 Not losing career momentum 19:38 Do you feel like your family responsibilities are supported at work? 19:42 Technology is great for working and family 20:16 Outsourcing domestic work, shopping deliveries 20:50 Parents have very traditional roles and couldn't conceive online shopping 22:02 Do the people you work with understand your dual responsibilities? 22:14 In a leadership role 22:18 Open about the reason when absent for child-related reasons 22:28 Make sure productivity and outcomes speaks for itself (not hours) 22:40 Not clock watching and empowering other to focus on outcomes also 22:54 Producing a high quality of work done more important than clocking on at exactly 9 am 23:20 The difference between men and women being open about family responsibilities 23:40 Mothers hiding evidence of children 23:54 Does hiding it make is less acceptable in the workplace in general? 24:04 A bit like smokers and smoking breaks 24:40 The sickness in the first 6 months of childcare 24:50 Negotiating who takes the day off with the sick kids 25:34 Important that leaders walk the walk 25:50 Sends emails to all explaining a child-related absence 26:03 Someone in the team doing that first 6 months at childcare is going to feel much better when they have a sick child 26:14 Funny or disastrous moments? 26:20 Both parents turning up to school pick up on the same day 26:48 Is work and family what you thought it would be? 26:58 Life had always been mapped out 27:12 Throwing kids into the mix changes things a bit 27:24 How many kids? What gender balance?

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF010_Meaghan.mp3 Share this episode with a friend In this episode, I interview Meaghan, a midwife, mother of 3 and owner of the online children's clothes shop Mister and Muse (https://www.misterandmuse.com.au/). We talk about the logistics of getting 3 kids around, night shift, conflicting work shifts and what the nursing and midwifery industry is doing right and wrong in retaining working mothers. The Lowdown - Family of 5 - 2 working parents - 1 full time - 1 part-time (shift work) - 3 children - 1 at school - 1 at kindy - 1 at home/childcare My guest blog post '8 Things I've learnt from interviewing working mums' on the BHND blog can be found here: http://bhndblog.com/8-things-ive-learnt-interviewing-working-mums/    3:00 Sleep 3:32 There were 5 in the bed.... 3:54 Solving the night time squish with a new kids bedroom? 4:14 King size beds 4:44 An extra 30cms in the bedroom 4:56 The kicking zone 5:20 Who are the people in your family? 5:50 Husband leaves the house around 6 am 6:52 The year of 5 people going in 5 different directions 7:04 The joy of having 2 at school 8:00 Working around kindy hours 9:12 Mix of day and night shifts 9:50 Nurses and midwives going back to work after children 10:30 Shift work! 11:18 Generally rules are to return within 2 years of children 11:36 How much time off after having a child? 11:55 Night shift can work for the family 12:02 Nightshift = no childcare, dayshift = childcare 13:20 Nightshift, get kids to school then sleep 13:58 Health impact of getting less sleep 14:04 Parenting super powers 14:28 Being a pushover! 14:48 Experience with 3 kids 15:16 Podcast about working and having young children: Improving the Lives of Working Parents Podcast https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/improving-the-lives-of-working-parents-podcast/id1201085082?mt=2 15:54 Partners super power 16:00 Fun! 17:16 How is the childcare managed 17:40 I am doing all drop offs and pick ups for all 3 kids 18:18 1 hour overlap of night shift and husband leaving at 6 am 18:54 Weekend shifts to avoid the overlap 19:00 Always getting 3 kids out the door in the morning with partner already out 19:38 Being a morning person 20:00 Quality family time in the morning: http://www.headofacodfish.com/victoria/ 21:04 Pre-kindy and school baking 21:24 Had the ability to choose? 21:56 Logistics do play a part 22:02 Work and home balance has been taken away to a degree 22:14 Mum guilt 22:36 What works well 22:42 Respect and understanding of goals between partners 23:28 Change in thought process when having a baby after a bigger age gap 24:22 Not really sure where to put energy when you don't know if you are having another child 25:22 Glimpses of life with older children 26:02 Career change mid child rearing years 26:42 Days governed by 1-year-olds sleeps or a 2-year-old tyrant 26:52 3rd child syndrome 27:44 Different personalities and birth order 29:08 Growing up as an only child then being a parent to 3 29:28 Downsides 29:38 Parents quality time 31:10 Using all the babysitting budget for things you have to do, not leaving much for date nights 32:24 What scenario has worked best? 32:32 Having more set routine for work, better ie childcare can be booked on set days 32:52 Husband also has more stability with taking on extra work 33:14 Enforced 7-day rosters 33:28 Doesn't take into consideration some would prefer weekdays, or weekends, night shifts, day shifts, set days etc 34:12 In a workforce of 70 you could make a roster work with these preferences because there is always going to be some one who prefers that shift 35:02 More flexibility, shorter shifts would work better for some people 35:24 Next step - 2 at school 36:20 You get more time then you fill it in with other things 36:50 Study, more hours, different work role 38:02 School days get filled very quickly

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF009_Michael.mp3 Share this episode with a friend In this episode, I interview Michael, father of 2 school aged children and finding his way with 2 shift workers in the family. We talk about sleeping during the day, styling girls hair and the balance between more shifts and more family time. The Lowdown - Family of 4 - 2 shift working parents (including some night shift) - 2 school aged child    2:18 Sleep 2:46 Double shifts 2:58 Kid wakeups 3:16 Who are the people in your family 3:56 2x night shift work 4:00 Ability to swap out of night shift 4:16 Sleeping during the day after a shift 4:48 Need more hours sleep once you have kids 5:10 Parenting super powers 5:20 Turning a tantrum around 5:38 Fatherly influence 5:56 One on one time with each child 6:08 Parenting decisions you make for the sake of sleep 6:29 You do what you need to do 6:36 Partners parenting super power 6:42 Keeping everything together 7:14 Focusing on what has been done not what hasn't been done 7:40 School pick up and drop off 7:50 In laws help out 8:00 One partner works when the other is not working so 1 parent available a lot of the time 8:10 A 7 day roster means you can have up to 3 days off in a row -> very available to children 8:28 Never used formal child care or OSHC 8:54 Friends helping each other out with an hour or so after school 9:22 Shift work means parents are home at the times when many parents aren't.... 9:38 .....but then away from home on weekends 9:58 Being responsible for children when you haven't had enough sleep 10:06 Kids still get up early 10:40 Will the kids say we weren't home enough? 11:18 Inconsistency is our consistency 11:28 Everyone home for dinner 1 or 2 nights a week 11:42 Resilience in children 12:08 Have you been able to choose your path? 12:20 Expectations 12:34 Half of extra shifts are by choice 12:56 Balance between money from extra shifts and time with family 13:20 Make peace with where you are 13:46 Day shift works best for everyone 14:26 Partner has less ability to swap out of night shifts 14:36 Keeping out the house when some one is sleeping 14:58 Next steps? 15:12 Teenage years, more attitude and independence 15:36 The logistics of all children being with a parent or some one else all the time 16:14 Well supported at work? 16:16 Yes, there is a good understanding that children's needs trump work 16:40 Are you easily replaced at work if you miss a shift? 17:10 Me yes 17:20 Partner a little less so with a more senior role 17:52 Funny or disastrous moments? 18:00 Everyday 18:46 Dads and daughters hair styles 19:14 Father daughter hair styling sessions 19:56 Everyday something funny happens and everyday something disastrous happens 20:16 Is family life what you thought it would be? 20:22 Harder than I thought 20:48 Working around children! 21:14 Any advice? 21:24 Things fall into place 22:22 The more you earn the more you spend 22:34 Priorities and doing what supports that 23:24 Stuck in the middle of those priorities .....balance 23:38 Ability to do extra shifts accentuates that Let me know what you thought of this episode! Leave a comment below, leave a review on iTunes or Stitcher, contact me via Facebook, Twitter or email. Or even better join the Codfish Squad and talk to me there.        Don’t know how to listen to the podcast? Learn how Looking for more podcasts? Podcast recommendations Social Codfish

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF008_Victoria.mp3 Share this episode with a friend In this episode, I interview Victoria, mother of 2 school aged girls and 1 half of a '2 parents working full time' family. We talk about commuting, OSHC and a projectile brush with the law ;) The Lowdown - Family of 4 - 2 Full-time working parents - 2 school aged child, 1 with complex health/dietary needs    3:10 Sleep 3:34 Daylight Savings and getting more sleep 4:04 Getting older and having to go to bed earlier 4:20 Night owls most productive at night 5:14 Who are the people in your family 5:40 2 parents in full-time work 5:50 Long commutes 6:02 English commutes and congestion 8:34 Parenting superpowers 8:40 Project management! 8:58 Trying to be organised with food allergies and different meals 9:12 3 Different meals in one evening 9:26 Slow eaters!!! 9:50 Learning to eat FAST 10:44 Using the slow eater lag time to get things done 11:00 Quality time afterwards 11:24 Early morning = less stress 12:06 Husband super power - storytelling 12:32 Story time is engaged and fun 12:56 Tickles at bed time 12:18 Having parents provide different elements at bed time 13:52 How are the drop-offs managed? 14:00 It's a bit of a process! 14:26 Tuesdays accommodating medical appointments and late work meetings 14:48 Losing lunch containers at school 16:22 Putting lunch containers directly in lost property! 17:08 It was the birds! The birds! 17:32 Friday night takeaway night 17:52 The 6pm everyone has just got home and is hungry effect 18:54 Doing pick up and checking in with the kids 19:10 The 6pm everyone has just got home and is hungry and wants to show your their school work effect 19:38 Do you feel like to had a choice in your path? 20:00 Industry crashing meaning work dries up 20:38 Skill up when not in employment 21:14 Either full-time work or nothing 21:58 Experiencing not being able to find work, understanding more when partner was going through the same 22:38 Bad cycle - no work, looking after sick kids, feeling isolated 23:22 Turning point away from depression via regular catch-ups with friends 24:00 Applied for the same job as had done previously and not been successful 24:10 Study, internships, other experience was beneficial to selection process 24:18 Success! 24:28 Impact on kids time in care.... 24:32.....beneficial from mental health and financial perspective 24:58 Didn't feel in the position to negotiate flexible work arrangements 26:00 Flexibility in different forms, offer of mental health day 27:00 One person per project necessitates being available all the time 28:22 Understaffed 28:46 What works well 28:54 Flexibility when we need it (sick child) 29:46 Sharing the load 30:00 Working from home with sick kids 30:34 Downsides? 31:34 Getting up earlier and having quality family time when mornings aren't a rush 32:20 Reverse the day 32:30 Quality family time when they are in a good mood! 32:52 Medical treatment for youngest has changed days dramatically 34:12 Kids being able to change tempo at bed time 34:40 Kiddy crash tackle hugs 37:10 Level of stress before you step into the door at work 37:26 What other things have you tried in the past 37:42 Mother in Law, Family Day Care 39:42 Working from home and also using childcare 40:00 Working from home with an under 1 yo vs an over 1 yo 41:38 Luxury of a day in the office 42:42 Overseas work travel - being the one leaving 44:22 Transitioning to one parent when the other is away 46:04 Hard being the parent away 47:10 But all mothers should do it! 47:46 Next evolution for the family? 47:50 Kids getting more responsibility and jobs 49:46 Family responsibility well supported 50:12 Never been an issue when time has been required 50:46 Setting an example for the team in regards to flexible work 51:50 Setting the boundaries for what is overstepping the mark

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF007_CathyPart2.mp3 Share this episode with a friend This episode is Part 2 of my chat with Cathy, HQ of a family of 4. Her family unit includes 2 kids and a partner who is unable to be in the paid workforce at this point, and we talk about Parental admin, workplace relationships and leaving your child at the playground! The Lowdown – Family of 4 – 1 parent working part-time (3 days) – 1 parent not currently able to work (recovery from workplace injury) – 1 at school – 1 at kindy    2:44 What works well 3:16 Constant communication 3:26 OCD Organiser 3:40 Parental Admin 3:48 Notices from school, blogs to check 4:43 Pretty goldfishy week 5:06 Maintaining a rhythm 5:18 Grandparent around the corner 5:44 Those emergency days 5:50 New job and not sick leave balance and sick kids 6:46 Workplace culture around sick leave and kid related absences from work 8:06 Relationships in the workplace 8:26 What doesn't work well? 8:40 Once you develop your routines what works well 9:24 What are things going to look like when both parents are back in the paid workforce 9:40 How will it effect me 9:50 Less 'fat' built into the average day 10:12 Staying back to get work done will be harder 10:26 Juggling priorities 11:16 Reevaluating current role - less sustainable with more competition for time 11:35 Current role quite demanding 12:48 Currently quite well resourced 13:00 Family responsibilities well supported? 13:06 Rhetoric around balance and flexibility but how that is applied on the ground is different 13:36 Need to be very clear and assertive to achieve that flexibility 13:58 Taking time off when working part time 14:40 Need to have punched the clock on the agreed number of hours 14:55 Work relationships and how much personal information to reveal in order to gain understanding/flexibility 15:14 Need to feel comfortable and trusting to disclose family details 15:33 Distinct boundary between work and home 15:48 Workload creep when working part time - doing a full-time amount of work 17:24 How could your workplace be more supportive? 17:30 Hire more staff! 17:54 High-level principles are good but middle and lower management may not have the right authority to convert that into tangible actions 18:36 Organisational structures and who has the power 19:22 Funny or disastrous moments? 19:36 Leaving a child at the playground! 20:38 Packed lunch at home on the bench 21:15 Crazy hair day 21:37 I am the adult, I've got this covered! 22:20 "Mum you haven't strapped me in" 23:34 No man is left behind 24:26 Is family what you thought it would be? 24:32 Didn't have a clear idea 24:46 Knew it would be different from my mum's experience 24:52 Generation of women who had to stop work when engaged or married 25:22 I always knew I would be working beyond that point 25:34 Work aspirations instilled due to experiences 26:32 Parallel universes - work and idea of future children 27:36 Starting family later and impact on family size 28:00 Creating opportunities for children that I didn't have 28:08 Raising human beings that appreciate those opportunities 29:30 How we spend school us as children vs. our children 29:50 Getting that balance right 30:30 Generational difference with how much free time and how it is spent 31:12 Leaving hospital with a newborn 31:38 Where is the security checks and questionnaire? 31:51 Instincts kick in 31:56 Mothers group 32:18 How did we get here? 33:28 Experience with a second baby 33:48 Second babies more relaxed and 'go with the flow' 34:38 Understanding better that things are a phase that will blow over so you don't need to intervene as much 35:10 Breaking the boundaries with the first 36:04 Having friends with a bit older kids 36:26 Realistic consequences 37:26 Advice? 37:56 There is not right or wrong so choose the best fit for your family 38:10 Parental judgement

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF006_CathyPart1.mp3 Share this episode with a friend This episode is Part 1 of my chat with Cathy, HQ of a family of 4. Her family unit includes 2 kids and a partner who is unable to be in the paid workforce at this point, and we talk about parenting kryptonite, mental health and some impromptu role reversal. The Lowdown – Family of 4 – 1 parent working part-time (3 days) – 1 parent not currently able to work (recovery from workplace injury) – 1 at school – 1 at kindy    2:30 Sleep 3:02 Self-inflicted lack of sleep 3:20 Enjoying the silence when everyone else is asleep 4:06 Enjoying the time when no one is wanting anything from me 4:30 Trashy TV and intelligence (the podcast I was referring to here was Ep 6 of Bang On with Myf Warhurst & Zan Rowe (which was in turn talking about this article: Enjoyment of trash films linked to high intelligence, study finds) 5:22 Overspending alone time 5:44 Who are the people in your family and how are they occupied? 6:36 Past arrangements 6:53 Workplace injury and the fallout from that 7:22 Thinking of taking a package then plans changed due to partners injury 7:56 Looked for a new job instead 8:08 New role called for full time and it provided some certainty at an uncertain time 9:14 A really difficult and challenging time 9:58 Parenting super powers 10:02 Parenting kryptonite! 10:18 Being family HQ 10:36 Being across everyone's needs 11:10 Partners parenting superpower? 11:28 Dad knows everything 12:38 Superpowers? Or super glue? 12:50 Has the switch to being full time at home evolved his super powers? 12:10 Yes! 13:20 Was a shift worker so previously missing at key parts of the day 13:54 Parenting role has played a large part in the healing process 14:08 Can now take the lead in after school activities 14:34 Coming to terms with 'losing' a job/career 15:10 Parenting with a shift worker 17:44 Really important to have positives to focus on during time of healing and recovery 18:30 Blossoming as a parent 19:46 Taking over the home life reigns while at an acute stage of a mental health issue 20:14 A blessing and a curse 20:42 Focusing on day to day functioning to help recovery 22:18 Being the only dad at school drop off 23:16 Hats off to him! 24:38 Embracing the 'home with the kids role' 26:00 How are drop offs and pick ups managed 26:18 Have good resources for this at the moment. 27:02 OSHC 28:04 Keeping OSHC days to prepare for the future 30:06 Keeping OSHC days to keep routine and normality in difficult times 30:32 Knowing how the kids are travelling during the difficult times 32:38 I think we've done pretty well with guiding the kids through it 34:54 Have you been able to choose your own path? 35:00 Yes and no 35:14 Work now is more the direction I was initially heading 35:46 Situation actually created options 36:00 Going from facing redundancy to having choices 36:36 Making a decision because I had to, but options meant I felt empowered 37:46 Looking for the positives, I have many more opportunities at work 38:34 The Wife Drought by Annabel Crabb 39:42 You got a wife! 40:06 I bring the experience of being a wife then getting a wife 40:30 I am very considerate of my wife! 41:12 Enjoyed the benefits in professional life of having a wife Let me know what you thought of this episode! Leave a comment below, leave a review on iTunes or Stitcher, contact me via Facebook, Twitter or email. Or even better join the Codfish Squad and talk to me there.   Don’t know how to listen to the podcast? Learn how Looking for more podcasts? Podcast recommendations Social Codfish

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF005_Kathryn.mp3 Share this episode with a friend In this episode, I interview Kathryn who works in the Medical Research field and is a mother to 2 boys. We talk about being on the other side of work travel and fostering children's independence! The Lowdown – Family of 4 – 2 Working Parents – 1 working school hours plus a bit more – 1 full-time – 9 year old – 6 year old    3:40 Sleep 4:14 Who are the people in your family 5:10 Being the other half of 'work travel' 5:48 Always either at work or with the kids 6:36 Me time 7:14 Everyone has a partner that travels for work! 7:33 Big blocks of travel 8:23 Reduction in work hours when your 'system' is away 8:54 Going down to fewer drops offs 10:00 The kiss and drop zone 11:08 Second child kiss and drop 12:00 Parenting super powers 12:08 Everyone is still alive 12:17 Disciplinarian 12:58 Guiding the perfectionist offspring (and parent!) 13:16 Parents different views on children's independence 14:14 More time pressured -> encouraging more independence 14:44 Taking time off when you are part time 16:04 Partners parenting superpower 16:08 Very hands on 17:30 Have you been able to choose your path? 18:00 Moving countries for one part of the family 18:20 Going back to work after a baby - too soon? 18:30 New roles and pregnancy 19:20 Going back to work after a baby - not soon enough? 19:36 Project and work demands after maternity leave 19:53 Working 0.8 over 5 days 20:56 Kindy hours 21:37 Quality time with kids on your day off? 22:04 Being late for work 22:54 Being on time and feeling on top of things 24:06 Taking your turn of Increased hours 24:50 What works well 25:24 Having someone home after school 25:50 Falls down with travel and out of hours functions 25:57 Sir Lunch-a-lot 26:08 Eating lunch alone - yay! 26:34 Downsides 26:48 Scheduling drama to do something for myself 27:20 Work and travel always overrule 28:52 Commitments to governing council and travel 29:40 Support vs delivery 30:32 Family time relying on hotel wi-fi quality 30:44 Travel, kids and time zones 31:19 An epiphany! 31:48 A light at the end of the tunnel 32:12 Next steps? 32:28 Kids independence 32:48 Walking to and from school 33:13 Gradually making the walk longer and getting an extra 15 minutes 34:54 Family responsibilities supported at work? Yes! 35:23 Sick days - who is taking a day off? 35:42 Colleagues provide support and are happy to pick up the slack for sick days 36:28 The boss setting an example of sharing the loadn 39:00 Need to ask for help for that long 39:28 People are willing to help 41:48 Is family what you thought it would look like? Yeah! 42:00 Had kids because we want to spend time with them 42:51 Similar role to mum 43:24 Advice? 43:44 Career advice at university 44:08 Working fewer hours but still at the same level vs having to take a lesser role to work fewer hours 47:10 It will change, it is an evolution Let me know what you thought of this episode! Leave a comment below, leave a review on iTunes or Stitcher, contact me via Facebook, Twitter or email. Or even better join the Codfish Squad and talk to me there.   Don’t know how to listen to the podcast? Learn how Looking for more podcasts? Podcast recommendations Social Codfish

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF004_Alina.mp3 Share this episode with a friend In this episode, I interview Alina, HR superstar and mother of 2 boys. Features job sharing and the carseat urinal! The Lowdown – Family of 4 – 2 Working Parents – 1 part-time (4 days a week) – 1 full-time – 3 year old – 1 year old    3:06 Sleep 3:36 Sleep ins are non-existent 5:02 Who are the people in your family? Who does what when? 5:46 Doing 5 days worth of work in 4 days 6:16 Productivity of the 4-day working week 7:30 Intense working days then a day off 7:48 Parenting super powers 8:38 Providing the feminine aspects to a family 9:08 The organiser 9:50 The fun one 10:28 Impromptu dance parties 11:06 Not enough energy to be the fun one 11:40 How is childcare managed? 12:42 Splitting the drop offs and pick ups to make the day shorter 13:12 Could you choose your own path? 14:16 More time with family child care? 14:34 What works well? 14:46 Going from 1 child to 2 15:20 Guidance from friends 15:24 Household roster 16:12 Eating dinner together as a family 16:28 Chest freezer and bulk cooking 16:44 Downsides? 16:55 Tired kids 17:14 Tired pre-schoolers vs tired school kids 17:37 Illness in the first winter at childcare 18:42 Who takes the day off when kids are sick? 19:55 A sick day takes up more of a part-time week 21:10 Working from home with sick kids 22:04 The babysitters (grandparents) catching the bug 23:40 What other arrangements have you had in the past? 24:02 Job sharing 24:56 How did the job sharing come about? 25:12 Proposed plan for maternity and beyond 26:22 Next steps? 26:38 Work travel 28:32 Do you feel well supported? 29:14 Society hasn't caught up with males and family responsibilities 29:26 Different approaches to work 30:34 Did you consider doing things differently due to your different approaches to work? 31:04 Family is willing but is the workplace? 31:32 Husbands experiencing the family penalty 32:20 Australia is very far behind 32:44 Being on the other side - flexible work arrangements of the staff you work with? 33:04 All bar one are female 33:38 Different types of work more suited to flexible work? 33:58 Not necessarily! 34:00 Job sharing and decision making 34:02 Job sharing working well when there is lower level decision making 35:02 Workers with flexible working arrangements will generally be more productive, give more back and will be more loyal 35:28 Flexible work arrangements as a non-financial incentive 35:40 Interviewer grovels to interviewee to be her boss 36:12 Working from home not a great option in some cases 36:36 Working from home with children at home 38:34 Funny or disastrous moments 38:38 Yes everyday 39:44 Carseat urinal 40:13 No packed lunch! 40:50 Online canteen lunch orders - the best! 41:22 Is your version of family what you thought it would be? 42:04 Advice? 42:14 Lower your standards! 42:40 So important that home time is not cleaning time 42:52 Get a deep freeze 43:39 Date night Let me know what you thought of this episode! Leave a comment below, leave a review on iTunes or Stitcher, contact me via Facebook, Twitter or email. Or even better join the Codfish Squad and talk to me there.                                              Don’t know how to listen to the podcast? Learn how Looking for more podcasts? Podcast recommendations Social Codfish

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF003_Rachel.mp3 Share this episode with a friend In this episode, I interview Rachel, one of my school mums who is working, studying and raising 3 kids. Features scheduling failures and a dog! The Lowdown – Family of 5 – 2 Working Parents – 1 part-time/casual work (relief teaching) and studying – 1 part-time work – 11 year old - 8 year old (special needs) - 7 year old    4:38 Sleep 5:08 Who are the people in your family? Who does what when? 7:06 Parenting super powers 7:29 Doing lots of things at a time 9:01 2 different schools 9:25 Calming influence 10:02 Picking up each others slack 10:51 Relief teaching with school pick up and drop offs 11:05 OSHC (Out of school hours care) 11:47 Have you been able to choose your own path? 12:40 Feeling restricted in how much you can do 13:18 Both partners feeling restricted? 13:51 The extra load of a special needs family 14:28 2 part time workers 15:06 Pressure of being solely responsible 16:20 Men and retrenchment 16:58 American example of larger numbers of men losing manufacturing jobs and taking on child care 19:30 What works well? 19:54 Children taking on more responsibility 21:30 Downsides? 22:00 Individual time with each child 22:10 What else have you tried 22:58 Casual employment and childcare 23:47 Has it got easier (please say yes!) 24:24 As it gets easier you take more on - like study 24:48 What is the next step? 25:08 Fitting university placements around work 25:30 Won't somebody think of the....dog? 26:03 Impact of university placements on husbands work load 26:54 Supportive work environments? 27:04 Relief teaching = many different work environments, no single person to negotiate with 28:58 Funny or disastrous moments? 28:40 University Placement + Relief teaching fail 30:12 Is this what you thought family would look like? - NO! 31:24 Not having a job when you start a family 33:12 Flip side - having a job that you have to go back to 35:02 Any advice? Let me know what you thought of this episode! Leave a comment below, leave a review on iTunes or Stitcher, contact me via Facebook, Twitter or email. Or even better join the Codfish Squad and talk to me there.          Don’t know how to listen to the podcast? Learn how Looking for more podcasts? Podcast recommendations Social Codfish

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF002_Amber.mp3 Share this episode with a friend In this episode, I interview Amber, small business owner and mother of 2 girls. Featuring adult meltdowns and the joys of a cleaner! Introduction Mindful Pathways: http://www.mindfulpathways.com.au/ Mindful Child: http://www.mindfulpathways.com.au/mindful-child Find them on Facebook and Twitter The Lowdown - Family of 4 - 2 Working Parents - 1 running a small business part time - 1 working full time - 1 school aged child - 1 under 2yo    3:04 Sleep! 3:43 Parenting Super Powers 4:25 Who does what, when? 5:12 Flexible arrangements? 5:40 Grandparents 9:30 Have you been able to choose your own path? 11:41 Is it different with subsequent children? 14:43 What works well? 15:12 Location, location, location 16:00 Kindy! Kindy hours and ELC. 18:37 Downsides 18:52 Tired little ones 19:52 Past arrangements 20:11 Family Day Care 21:24 Friends and babysitters, guilt and favours 22:15 Where to from here? 22:50 How much to work when they are young? 23:52 Support in paid work environments? 26:18 Sharing the load then removing a person 27:30 Funny or disastrous moments? 27:46 Who’s having a meltdown? 28:28 Outsourcing – cleaners 31:08 Is this what you thought family would look like? 32:00 The perfect balance? 34:08 Any advice? 34:50 Mother guilt 37:08 Isolation in parenting Let me know what you thought of this episode! Leave a comment below, leave a review on iTunes or Stitcher, contact me via Facebook, Twitter or email. Or even better join the Codfish Squad and talk to me there.   Don’t know how to listen to the podcast? Learn how Looking for more podcasts? Podcast recommendations Social Codfish

http://traffic.libsyn.com/headofacodfish/HCF001_Introduction.mp3 Share this episode with a friend An introduction to ‘Head of a Codfish: A podcast about modern working families’ and some background on why I have embarked on this crazy learning curve called podcasting. I explain the strange name for the podcast and I promise my mad podcasting skills will only go up from here  – Hello and welcome. – What is the podcast about? – How have I come to this subject? – Explaining the name. – I’m just learning!    Let me know what you thought of this episode! Leave a comment below, leave a review on iTunes or Stitcher, contact me via Facebook, Twitter or email. Or even better join the Codfish Squad and talk to me there. Don’t know how to listen to the podcast? Learn how Looking for more podcasts? Podcast recommendations Social Codfish