Simply Enough

Does ending or quitting equate with failure? And if so, what's the big deal about failure? With life as a journey, circumstances change and priorities shift, "and that's ok"! Just like it's said that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, it's better to have tried and "failed" because learning and growth is a part of it and makes us better. Failure is actually a component of how progress is made. So when making choices and decisions, honor your heart as much as your head, especially when you feel the least angst and the most peace, including choosing when it's time for a commitment or relationship to end.

Why is it easier sometimes to point fingers rather than look at ourselves? It's said that blame is easier to digest than guilt. But self-awareness and self-accountability isn't always about accepting blame, shame or guilt. It's very empowering when we look inward before looking outward, to confront and acknowledge where we are, and what we bring to the table. We train people how to treat us, because we get what we accept. When we're at the mercy of others, we give our power away. When we embrace accountability and agency, asking "what is my role and what part do I play", we put power back in our hands. When we mindfully own our choices and decisions, we can grow out of avoidance-mode or triggered-mode, and instead move forward wholeheartedly in activated mode!

When in conversations or in meetings, do you ever start with "I could be wrong, but" or "Sorry but can I" or "Just wanted to"? We certainly have! Why do we feel the need to lead with apologizing, disclaiming, or discrediting ourselves? Is taking the one-down position to make others feel one-up at our own expense? Diminishing ourselves in front of others isn't self-protection; it's self-sabotage. We can be mindful of our Enoughness and make sure our words reflect that. How we explain ourselves externally is messaging for how we weel internally. Serve the world and serve yourself by not making yourself small. Because you are more than "just" enough, exactly as you are. Period.

Have you ever felt lonely while alone, or in a crowd. or even in a relationship? Can you lift yourself out of those feelings? Consider that the Universe has your back. Faith in something Greater can uplift you and even carry you. Plainly name and call out the feelings of being lonely, without shame, because they're universal feelings. Then welcome and receive invitations and moments when others reach out, and recognize when "little birdies" show up for us. We also have the ability to do that for others as divine extensions and instruments. Let's be open to the idea that we're all connected, because things can happen to us, and also through us and from us, so we really are never alone.

Have you ever wondered "Am I the a-hole" in this situation? Or watered-down a message, or even muted yourself, fearing being perceived as an a-hole? Accountability and self-reflection are important, but standing firm in one's convictions is equally important, depending on the scenario, and depending on the audience. Communication, connection. or mere civil discourse doesn't necessarily mean mutual agreement, and that's ok.  A person can give you their interpretation of you, and it's in your power to take it or not. A clear message delivered with composure and empathy is what you control, while another person's reception of it isn't under your control. You can be like teflon, and deflect weaponized labels and insults hurled your way, with a strong centered Self, because you are enough, just as you are.

What do you mean when you say "it's just my luck..."? Do you believe the Universe has got your back, and conspires to help you? Not everything in life is earned, deserved, or based on merit. There are things in your life that you have nothing to do with, and are out of your control. Can you recall unexplained circumstances in life where the open windows were even better than the closed doors you were banging on? In taking a Blessings Inventory, recognition of unmerited favor can take you beyond gratitude into a sense of awe. When we can become aware that not everything comes from effort, and surrender to something completely external and Greater than our human do-ing, when there is no explanation or algorithm-- that is when we can abundantly receive Grace bestowed on us, and the double blessing of the acute awareness of those gifts in our lives.

Do you feel like you haven't yet done anything worthy of applause? We all can applaud momentous occasions, but you can also applaud even the stumbles and falls, learning grace and levity along the way. Applause can turn a moment around for laughter and light and joy. Look for more opportunities to applause, celebrating effort as much as outcome. And don't forget to buoy yourself with applause if others are putting you down or drowning you out. Humility doesn't always have to mean deference. Own your journey, own your effort, and own your accomplishments. There's a difference between confidence and arrogance.  Even while being humble and grateful, recognize what you bring to the table and affirm your sense of self-worth, because you are enough and worthy of applause, just as you are.

Have you ever felt out of place or out of touch, compared to the majority? When it comes to what's popular, have you ever thought "What? I don't get it?" And that's ok – Give yourself permission to be Your Self! You do you, and then decide who you invite into your experience. If something's not even on your radar, then there is no FOMO.  In fact, instead of the fear of missing out, there's the joy of figuring out for yourself! Somebody else telling us what is worthy or what is valuable removes us from making the decision for ourselves. Buck the trend and stand out from the crowd, because you are enough, just as you are. Period.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed, or feel like Life just passes you by, because you're "soooo busy"? Do you feel under pressure to always have a plan, a goal, a task, or a full calendar? We can give ourselves permission to push back at the belief of having a list of actions that substantiates or validates an experience to make it worthwhile. We can be intentional about doing nothing, and honor when we're in need of restoration and a respite. Satisfaction doesn't just come from crossing off our To Do list. Sometimes what needs to be done is to be still and do nothing. And that's ok.

Did you know there's a difference between pleasure and enjoyment? In the pursuit of "happier-ness", shared experiences move the needle beyond pleasure to true enjoyment! Communal moments create memories, which can transport you back, and become gifts that keep on giving. Shared joy heightens exponentially the moment being experienced, and can be the Great Equalizer.  Shared experiences break down walls, where we see each other as humans, not as labels, and can be the salve to the wound of being Other-ed. Life is not made to live alone. Life is meant to be lived, and meant to be shared.

Did you know the key to happiness is living in alignment with your priorities and values? When we don't make choices aligned with our chosen, self-professed priorities and values, that's how we create discord and unhealthy dis-ease internally.  And externally, intent and impact are both important yet aren't always the same, and can cause confusion at best, or harm at its worst. Being mindful of how we spend our time and how we spend our mind matter. Having clarity and knowing our priorities helps filter distracting noise around attaining goals, to live mindfully aligned with our values.

Are you always insistent on The Best, and nothing less will do? How does that serve you, and is it even healthy? Sometimes, you can use your time better than constantly searching for Best or Perfect.  It's amazing what we miss out on, when we worry about what we're missing.  In search of the Best, you can miss right where you are and miss experiencing what you have now. In pursuit of some ambiguous "better", it's hard to enjoy and savor what's in front of you, too busy measuring up rather than simply experiencing. Critiquing something so much can even destroy the value of it, and self-prophesy disappointment. Instead, we can adopt the mindset of seeing what was gained rather than what fell short. The goalposts of Best often keep moving, so we might as well make room for Good Enough, and even change the definition and parameters of "enoughness", to find joy in life as is.

How do you approach the new year? What's your mindset and which emotions dominate? A new start doesn't have to only be every 365 days! Like a student in school, you can break up the year into quarters, seasons, or monthly rotations. Or even approach each individual new day as a fresh start. Life doesn't have to be merely routinized and habitual. And remember too- new year's resolutions and goals don't just have to be about physical health. Prioritize emotional, mental and spiritual health as well. You can shed the weight of other people's opinions, and even shed the weight of self-sabotage and self-limiting beliefs. New beginnings and fresh starts, whenever you choose them to be, can be opportunities to rest and take a break, or uplevel, reinvent and rediscover yourself!

Do you set resolutions for the new year, but soon abandon them? Consider being objective-driven rather than goal-oriented, to set yourself in the right direction.  An objective is about limitless opportunity and possibility, whereas a goal is finite and concrete, as if a zero-sum game. An objective is a beacon beyond you that is calling you, and goals are the microscopic steps aiming forward. Missteps in the direction of an objective doesn't mean halting or abandoning the journey. Celebrate the successes along the way and encourage the developing identity in the direction of transformation, resolving not just what you do, but more so who you want to be, and how you want to show up in the world. 

What do you believe? What is a miracle and magic to you? To explain it is unnecessary. If we can suspend our disbelief and put away the need to be cynical or right, magic and miracles can happen. We can be witness to them,and also be agents of them. t's not always the grandiose and the magnificent - They are everyday happenings, around us and in us. Miracles can be in the ability to find the Divine in humanity and the Divine within ourselves. Don't miss the message of the miracle. Sit with awe and wonder; right where you are. You are enough, because you are a miracle, just as you are.  Period. 

Have you ever felt like you were on a different wavelength from everybody else? That's okay! Get in tune with what resonates with you.  Connect with what moves your spirit and stirs your passion! Recognize it's not about performance or judgment, and allow that others may be attuned to different things. Let your soul reverberate and resound at the highest frequency and ring true with your best, most authentic self!

Have you ever felt pressure to give the Perfect Gift? Or thought a gift you received was lacking? But there are Gifts in everything, all around us.  The value of a gift is not about “the thing” It's about the thought and intent from the giver.  The price paid for a gift isn't always monetary, but instead could  be time, talent or sincere thought.   From baguettes to body wash, it's not the physical gift but the intangible sentiment that is of priceless value.  Rather than being caught up in the checklist of gift giving, look away from the object and instead see the connection between the giver and receiver as the gift that keeps on giving.

How do the holidays make you feel? Do you aim for a Hallmark romanticized tableau, or embrace the messy, funny imperfections? A change of expectations and perspective can change the experience, embracing not just the nostalgia, but the creation of new memories too!  The holidays come from your Light within, rather than external. Let go of activities on an idealized to-do list, to experience and extend the simple, distilled  reasons for the season— peace, love, joy, faith and hope, really and actually.

Have you ever felt the pressure, or the letdown, from wanting the holidays to be perfect? But the holidays can come alive more as feelings in one's heart, rather than outer events.   Build upon the foundation of sentiments that make a holiday real.  The universal language of gratitude is contagious and life giving! Rather than one day on the calendar, live a life of Thanks-living, thinking of specific things from boogers to moo-cows, and the family you were given and the family you've chosen and gained. You won't look at things the same way when you see life through the lens of gratitude. 

Have you ever been frustrated with traffic, or even have momentary road rage? Did you know your car can be a great classroom of life? Ironically, one can learn to find joy at the same time of feeling frustrated, because switching perspectives can change a situation and environment completely. With life lessons in traffic, we can remember that we can't control others, and practice not taking things personally, and develop the skill of evaluating what our reactions are and how they might affect outcome. We can learn to let things go and choose our own path by our priorities -- that faster isn't always better, and that different sometimes is just different; not right, wrong, better or worse. Even with detours, rumble strips and unfortunate accidents, you can follow the still small voice of your inner GPS, to have peace transcend rage, and be in the driver's seat of your life to enjoy the journey.

Have you ever reasoned or talked yourself out of something you really want? Cerebral thoughts in the head can explain away the pull of what's going on in the heart. But not everything has to be by-the-book, or have a rational purposeful "Because" as an answer to the "Why". Affirm when it's ok to the moved by the heart, and not just led by the head. Sometimes, that internal pull of "I want to" is a good enough reason to left go of resistance. The still small voice inside you can get louder, because it's actually You taking care of You, affirming you are simply enough, just as you are.

Have you ever felt like your life was just the same ol' routine? Do you wish there was something to give you that jolt of adrenaline rush and surge of energy? Being scared can be uncomfortable, but can also be exciting! Sometimes, our own internal need for control, safety and self-protection can hold us back and keep us from testing our sense of living and feeling fully alive. Rather than avoidance, you can approach and move towards what exhilarates you. Recognize what thrills you, and find ways to incorporate more of that in your life, because a life over-safe can be a life under-lived.

Have you ever felt low, or on edge, after watching tv, scrolling social media, or listening to the news? Have you looked at what you're consuming? Just like food is nutrition for physical health, then for emotional and mental health, examine what you ingest and allow in too. Be mindful of what lifts versus what weighs down your spirit. Take control and be the subject, not the object, of your life sentences. You are your own chef de cuisine. Habitual thoughts don't have to be permanent if they're unhealthy junk food; old habitual choices can be replaced, perspectives can be reframed, and your palate can be changed. Separate the sustenance from the spoilage, to taste and savor life to nourish your soul.

Have you ever been swept up into other people's stormy situations, engrossed in their drama? Is that the best way to be helpful? Other people's energies can swirl around but you can stay grounded in peace, to be of service. Taking on drama won't necessarily mitigate it. Misery loves company, but commiserating might actually perpetuate the storm. You can have compassion and empathy for their reality without taking on their emotional state. By being mindful and taking inventory of priorities and values, you can triage where your energy and focus are directed rather than scattered-- because the energy vampires can be people externally, but also from the slavedriver of one's own self. Give yourself permission and prescription to protect, restore and renew your grounded center.

Has anyone imposed their opinions on you, or projected their emotions on you? Or have you ever done that to someone else? Opinions aren't facts, whether they come from others or come from your Self, yet it's easy to believe opinions as unwavering truth. Don't take other people's impressions and limiting opinions as your own lived experience. Don't stop yourself or hold yourself back based on someone else's projected self-limiting beliefs. Go with the belief that You Can, even when naysayers say you can't. You can listen to others. then put a little distance between someone else's opinion and your own, and then you can consider and decide, and choose to create YOUR experience. Life is to be lived experientially, not vicariously as if by proxy.

Did you ever feel unpopular, or not one of the “cool kids” or outside the social hierarchy? Have you ever felt taken for granted, or, have you ever been the taker? Is it true we become the average of the 5 people with whom we spend the most time?Listen to the voice inside you that knows who you are and is guiding you, and align with those with whom you respond positively.  Reflect on the time you devote to certain people. Friendships can reveal how you see people around you as well as be a benchmark of self respect and self-revelation.  You can choose with intention what's a right fit for you, where you feel a sense of belonging and who's in your Inner Circle.  

Have you ever felt lost, navigating transitions in your life? Events and situations can feel herky-jerky at times, but if you can acknowledge the suck and also know that it won't always feel this way, you can love and grieve at the same time.  Feeling comfortable and safe isn't always what best serves you.  You can go beyond a wish and act on a hope, to not only transition, but transform and transcend anything that comes your way!

As a kid, did you ever have an old curmudgeon of a teacher, and you swore you would never grow up to be like that person? Or, as an adult now, do you look at younger generations with disdain, while they look at you and say “ok, Boomer”?  There's a lot we can learn from youth— from their open-mindedness, and their shameless willingness to say “I don't know, but let me try”. Learning isn't just wisdom passed down from the old, but also comes from novel fresh experiences and perspectives.  Don't let the wisdom of age be wasted, nor the joy of youth.  We're all students of life, and the world is our classroom!

Have you ever felt like Adulting is sooooo hard? It can be, but it isn't always difficult, and it's not the only way to feel, right? Don't let yourself get stuck in the mud of those thoughts, or think the grass is perennially greener with youth.  Accepting seasons of challenge allows seasons of ease to be that much more enjoyable!

From the devastating tragedy of the fires in Maui comes clarity of what really is most important and most valuable in life. Also, in its aftermath, there were many demonstrations of how people can come together and demonstrate what kindness and generosity look like, rallying to do whatever it takes and whatever is needed to care for others. The immediacy of resiliency, figuring out what can we do and what do we have that we can give allows us to extend the Aloha Spirit wherever we are.

Amidst the tragedy of loss from the Maui fires, the resilience, generosity, and sense of community have been inspiring, and puts into perspective what really matters in life. Have you ever felt like you were constantly chasing "more"? Yet, we are more than our possessions, acquisitions, accumulations, and titles, and Enough is actually a choice we control. Looking at what we have and being grateful,  rather than what we're missing frees us for living and experiencing, instead of numbing and buffering.   Living fulfilled rather than filling a void; addition by subtraction, rather than distraction. 

Have you ever driven yourself mad from wishing things were different? Not accepting things in the moment as they are, or yourself as you are, is the root of stress. We are all works in progress and living in real-time. Life doesn't have to be curated or edited. Just do things anyway. It's ok to have a "round two" or another trial. Accepting things isn't about being complacent. It's coming to a place of peace to find contentment, to then move from the current situation. And more important than a moment is your identity of who you are. It's not about shape-shifting. It's about showing up and valuing yourself just as you are... and then what? :)

Have you ever dreaded your To Do list? There are actually tools to take control and trick your mind to get through the list to get the job done. Dare we say, you can actually even laugh and make light of your list, rather than rely on pure willpower. You can be inspired rather than motivated, and pulled rather than pushed to see things through to fruition.

Have you ever regretted holding yourself back, or kicked yourself with the thought  “if only I had …” ? Delete the narrative you tell yourself that keeps you from being bold!  A missed opportunity is a bigger deal than the fear of a little temporary awkwardness, embarrassment or rejection. Practice recognizing the opportunity of Now, and embolden yourself, to ask and go after what you want. Weigh the risks of not doing and not trying, and the regret of things you didn't do over what you did do.  Go for it!

Have you ever felt blah and needed a pick-me-up? Need a cure for feeling meh? Being mindful and present with the sensations you're feeling can give moments of reset. Recognize the weights we carry that are heavy and buffer or pull us down rather than uplift us. Then have a refreshed start. Show up for yourself and start small, to overcome inertia, and fuel momentum to be uplifted. Eschew simulations because "there ain't nothin like the real thing, baby", and instead of shutting people out, let them in and ask for help and be with others. And even if you're not ready for mirth and laughter, move forward to a place of peace. 

Have you ever been at the crossroads of how you want to show love versus how the object of your affection wants to receive it? Working through the impasse of what love looks like on all sides can be  messy.  Remember to process and honor not just how that person feels, but also how your own actions are making you feel, and how you show up as a reflection of what you truly ultimately want in the end.  Being “all-in” in a loving relationship can look different and the rules of engagement can evolve. Recognize when there's nothing more you can do, because you've done all that you can, and that's ok.  Allow yourself to decide who and how you want to be in a relationship. The discerning and choosing to continue to love IS the loving action, in and of itself. 

Do you think romance is the best, or only, kind of love? Life isn't always about “coupling” and it's not always about romantic love. True Love can take on many forms. It can exist in the love amongst friends and love within a family  Recognize the platonic love that is in your life and lean into it. We can have gratitude for the love from and the love of your friends. Honor those who show up from a place of love, and take the opportunity to tell them you love them. And when taking the risk of saying "I Love You", yes there might be losses—but the wins are so worth it. In wanting love, give love.  And then receive well too. 

Have you ever believed your age defines you? You can choose if a number imprisons you or liberates you! There are different seasons of life, so don't envy youth, or apologize for lessons learned and wisdom earned. Order the chicken fingers and tater tots! Taste, save and enJOY the hot fudge sundae! You don't have to always strive to be "adulting", and you can definitely take your youth with you! Every day you wake up and have breath is a birthday, especially when you consider the alternative.  

Have you ever felt in need of a pick-me-up? Y'know, “adulting” and play are not mutually exclusive.  You have the choice of which lens you see the world! There are no rules; make up a holiday and spark a celebration.  Let loose, woot-woot, chee hoo, laugh like Chewbacca, and the lasting memories make the celebration a gift that keeps on giving.  Celebrate along the way and then life itself becomes a celebration!

Have you ever felt unworthy of feeling pride? Or paradoxically, do you view pride as shameful?  Consider that pride isn't always hubris and comparative. We can reframe how we look at the word “pride”.  Mowing with or beyond heroes and holidays, pride can just mean grounded self acceptance, rather than shame, for who you are.   A value of self worth equal to others.  An individual declaration of enoughness, and a universal message to which all can have access.   Simply an internal smile you can keep for yourself so you can say “I am worthy and I am enough, just as I am.” Say it; and mean it, with pride and with love. 

Have you ever felt uncomfortable because of mixed emotions, or even conflicting emotions? We rarely feel one thing at a time. You don't have to choose, push away or talk yourself out of either one emotion or the other. They can exist as a “both” and an “and”!  Allow the coexistence of the emotions. In fact, one emotion is likely because of the existence of the other and is often potentiated because of it! Name the emotions, because the subtle nuances of the emotions, once recognized, allow for self regulation. And in relationships, it's actually something somewhere in the complexity that allows us to find at least one thing that we connect and share in the human experience.  While we are multifaceted individuals with complex emotions, concurrently we are simply enough, just as we are.  

Have you ever felt upset or overwhelmed by a situation? You don't have to! It's not the circumstance that's upsetting you. It's your thoughts about the situation that's upsetting you. A situation or circumstance might be fact, as is.  But the experience of it actually is under our control. Might there be a different thought you can have about it? Thoughts are actually under our control, even if they feel automatic. You have them, then look at them and you get to choose which to keep or drop.  Give yourself a hug, and know that one thought or that one feeling is not the only one you can have, and certainly is not the definition of you.  Because you are simply enough, just as you are.  

Have you ever talked yourself out of something you really wanted to do? Whose voice are you hearing, coming up with all the reasons not to move forward? Let in those 3 magic words-- Oh Screw It, along with No Big Deal, Just Do It, Go For It and Let It Go! Don't suppress what's authentic to you and don't wait to be without fear! Courage is doing it anyway in the face of that discomfort. Remove the self-imposed shackles of what other people think or what your inner saboteur says. Seek possibility and opportunity more than permission, and Go Get It! And believe this 3 word mantra-- You Are Enough! 

Like Taylor Swift, have you ever looked back on your life as eras? It's good to reflect back and gain wisdom to move forward.  Lessons can be learned from patterns of behavior or types of people that show up in multiple eras. And the good news is that we don't have to see life in finite labels of definitive beginnings and endings, but instead is a continuum of seasons.  Fresh starts and new beginnings can always be ahead if you choose!

Have you ever thought about what your "brand" is? It can be a look or a logo, but can also be a principle or a standard! It can be a style, mentality, and persona. Knowing what fits or doesn't fit, and defining your brand can be an exercise grounded in who you are and how you want to represent yourself. There's accountability and ownership of what we proclaim and assert to be our "brand" versus the reality of how we show up. It's a benchmark and messaging for yourself as a reminder of how you'd like to show up to display and demonstrate what feels true to you, just as you are! 

Have you ever been given a backhanded compliment that actually was a veiled insult? What do you do with it?  Instead of throwing an aggression back, you could pose a question back!Our Inner voice discerns what we know versus what we believe or how we receive what someone's thrown us.  And tone matters— the tone of our inner voice, as well as that of the messenger. There are more things than just what's said that holds meaning! You can stand with your belief when boundaries are crossed, and get activated, rather than triggered, with a strong response rather than a reaction. Being centered gives you space and grace to provide information over ignorance, and from that place you have power to decide what path a relationship may take. Whether with compliments, or insults, you can stay grounded in who you are, just as you are.  

What do you do when you're given a backhanded compliment? Are you tempted to throw a zinger back? Was it a veiled insult, a subconscious microaggression, or a misunderstood comment? When gifted a compliment that left us unsettled or even hurt, we can examine with curiosity how we receive the comment, to then have a discerned response, rather than an emotional reaction. We can choose how to take it regardless of how they intended to give it, and also have grace and awareness when we also give a compliment that could have a dual meaning.  Compliments are the gifts that they are; depending on the giving and the receiving. 

Have you ever reacted defensively but regretted it?  When someone has a wrong idea of you, it's easy to sit in a place of defensiveness. But when reacting from that place, people might not hear your actual message, and instead notice behaviors and mannerisms which undermine your message.  Use your body's reactions as signals and indicators, to distance yourself, and then look at what's really the piece that's bothering you.  That way, rather than having to defend yourself, you can deliver your message, and demonstrate who you really are.  

Have you ever felt hurt when someone didn't like you? How long did you let that bother you? It's amazing the mental bandwidth we use when we worry that someone doesn't like us! But when we focus on if others like us, that takes us out of ourselves. Not being liked isn't a valuation of your worth! And our thoughts about not being liked hurt us more than not being liked itself. We lost ourselves if we focus on winning over others. Find freedom in knowing you don't have to strive for a "100% A+ average" of getting everybody to like you, and we can't be all things to everybody. And that's okay. Period. 

Have you ever felt stuck, pigeonhold, or past your prime? Know that there's more in you. You have more to give, and your best is ahead of you! You're just getting warmed up and started! Separate truth from belief. Don't let anyone else's thoughts take your dream from you, and don't let your own self-talk limit you. There is power in the choice to embrace the possible. Keep going!