Nope! We're Not Monogamous

Are you having the same fight over and over in your non-monogamous relationship—and wondering why nothing ever changes?You're not broken. You're in a pattern. And until you understand what's underneath that pattern, it'll keep showing up again and again.In this episode, we're diving into trauma loops—how they form, why they're especially common in non-monogamous relationships, and how to start breaking the cycle for good.

You're not broken. You just never learned how to say the hard thing without burning everything down.In this episode, I'm sharing how to actually talk about the uncomfortable stuff in non-monogamy—without losing your shit or starting a relationship wildfire.Whether you're afraid of hurting someone, scared to be misunderstood, or just tired of swallowing your truth, this is your starting point for braver, clearer communication.What you'll learn:→ How to understand your silence survival pattern→ The exact steps to prep for hard conversations→ Why blurting is not the same as honesty→ The “truth sandwich” that isn't manipulative→ How to handle defensiveness and emotional shutdowns→ What to say when it all goes sideways (and why repair = magic)You deserve relationships where the truth can live—and still be loved.

What happens when you go from 26 years in a sexless marriage… to a full-blown sexual awakening in your 50s? This week, I'm joined by Xanet Pailet — a former healthcare lawyer turned tantra teacher, somatic sex coach, and the author of Living an Orgasmic Life.We're talking about:How she went from disconnected and dissociated… to having the best sex of her life in her 60sWhy pleasure is your birthright (and what to do if that feels impossible right now)Why communication matters more than rules — and what healthy sex agreements can actually look likeHow trauma, disconnection, and shame keep people stuck in unsatisfying sex livesXanet's year-long throuple experience (including a very helpful metamour

Tired of misunderstandings, silent resentment, or agreements that leave you feeling unseen?In this episode, we unpack the real difference between collaboration and compromise—and how building intentional, values-based agreements in non-monogamy can transform your relationships.

Do you ever feel like you're doing everything right in your open or polyamorous relationship—and yet still crumble inside the moment your partner connects with someone else? In this honest and unfiltered episode, I explore what real self-love looks like in non-monogamous relationships—especially when comparison, jealousy, and insecurity hit hard. 

Send us a textWhat happens when a long-term couple invites a third person into their relationship—and it doesn't go as planned?In this raw and revealing episode, I sit down with six-time Emmy-nominated TV producer Jeff Hudson to talk about his memoir Deconstructing Us: My Trouble with a Throuple. Jeff shares what it was like to navigate the emotional rollercoaster of a throuple, how jealousy blindsided him, and why non-monogamy cracked him wide open—in the best and worst ways.We explore:Why three-person relationships are emotional rocket fuelHow jealousy shows up even when you're experienced in open relationshipsThe difference between love and compatibilityIdentity shifts that come with loving outside the boxWhy breakdowns in love can lead to breakthroughs in self-awarenessWhether you're polyam-curious, actively non-monogamous, or just fascinated by the complexity of modern love—this conversation will challenge and expand how you think about commitment, identity, and connection.

Send us a textYou know you're enough—but the second your partner mentions her, the spiral starts. Sound familiar?In this honest, grounding episode, I break down the real costs of comparison in non-monogamous relationships—like the way it quietly erodes your presence, self-trust, and peace.You'll hear:Why “knowing better” doesn't stop the spiralHow patriarchy conditions us to compete—even in open dynamicsWhat comparison really steals from youAnd the exact reframe and tools that help you come back to yourself

Send us a textNavigating non-monogamy can stir up some BIG emotions—especially jealousy. But what if jealousy wasn't something to fight against... but a tool for deeper connection?In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Emma Smith, licensed professional counselor and certified sex therapist, to talk about:✨ How to create emotional safety plans when opening a relationship ✨ The difference between healthy boundaries and rigid rules ✨ Why jealousy isn't the enemy—and how it can guide your growth ✨ Tips for crafting relationship agreements that actually work for you"Boundaries are about care, they're about safety. They are about being grounded in your love and respect for another person." — Dr. Emma SmithIf you're exploring non-monogamy (or just want stronger, healthier connections), this conversation is packed with real talk and practical strategies you'll want to come back to.

Send us a textEver wondered if you can learn to feel compersion instead of jealousy? Or if talking about opening up your relationship means you're actually ready to do it? This episode dives deep into these questions and more!I'm joined by Ally Iseman, a certified relationship coach and founder of Passport to Pleasure. Ally brings her unique blend of humor, compassion, and practical tools to help couples navigate the complexities of non-monogamy.In this episode, we explore:Why "conversation is lubrication" and how to make it work for youReframing jealousy (even the hot kind!) as a tool for growthThe value of understanding consensual non-monogamy, regardless of your relationship styleAlly's step-by-step method for moving through jealousyHow to know if your relationship is truly ready to open upKey Takeaways:Compersion vs. Jealousy: Ally shares her personal journey from experiencing what she thought was jealousy to realizing it was actually compersion.The NERD OUT Method: Learn Ally's unique technique for transforming jealousy into a mindful, growth-oriented experience.Effective Communication: Discover the crucial difference between clear communication and effective communication in relationships.Curiosity Over Conviction: Why approaching non-monogamy with genuine curiosity is more powerful than trying to convince your partner.Whether you're actively practicing non-monogamy, considering it, or simply curious about different relationship styles, this conversation offers valuable insights for everyone. Ally's approach emphasizes personal growth, effective communication, and creating relationships that truly work for you – no matter what form they take.Ready to explore if your relationship is prepared for non-monogamy? Take Ally's free Relationship Ratio quiz at  www.passport2pleasure.com/ratio to get started on your journey.And check out Ally's Substack https://allyiseman.substack.com/https://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show

Send us a textStruggling with comparison in your non-monogamous relationship?Whether it's jealousy, insecurity, or spiraling thoughts when your partner mentions someone new—you're not alone, and you're not broken.In this episode, we explore why comparison shows up in polyamory and non-monogamy, how it impacts your nervous system, and what you can do to stop the spiral and build emotional safety.You'll learn:Why comparison hits hard in non-monogamy (even when you “know better”)How internalized patriarchy and survival instincts fuel insecurityGrounding tools to manage triggers in real-timeDaily practices to rebuild self-trust and self-worthHow to reframe your value beyond your partner's other connections

Send us a textIf you've ever struggled with mismatched desires, defining commitment with a partner, or navigating the messier side of non-monogamy — this episode is for you.In this candid conversation, I talk with Dr. Tammy Nelson, sexologist, therapist, TEDx speaker, and author of Open Monogamy. With 35+ years of experience working with couples in both monogamous and open relationships, Tammy brings a nuanced lens to everything from sexual boredom and emotional disconnection to jealousy, relationship fatigue, and the evolving nature of commitment.We explore:Why mismatched desires and “monogamy gaps” show up even in non-monogamyHow open relationships can become more intimate — not less — when built on clarityTools for navigating jealousy, initiating hard conversations, and honoring shifting needsThe danger of jumping to a solution before naming the real problemWhy fantasy, communication, and appreciation matter more than frequency or rules

Send us a textWhen I was invited to interview someone from Ashley Madison, I hesitated. My first instinct was judgment — but then I realized, that's the same kind of stigma people apply to non-monogamy all the time.This powerful conversation with Paul Keable, Chief Strategy Officer at Ashley Madison, dives deep into the complex, often misunderstood world of infidelity, emotional disconnection, and unmet needs in long-term relationships.

Send us a textStruggling to feel deeply connected in your non-monogamous relationships? Whether you're navigating polyamory, open relationships, or casual connections, meaningful intimacy doesn't have to take hours of deep conversations or elaborate date nights. In fact, it can start with just five minutes a day.In this episode, I'm sharing five powerful yet simple practices from my Beyond Monogamy 4CNM Method that can help you build stronger, more intimate connections — no matter how complex your relationship landscape may be.✨ Mindful Presence — Give your undivided attention for deeper connection. ✨ Mirrored Breathing — Sync your nervous systems to feel calm and close. ✨ Intentional Touch — Use non-sexual touch to foster warmth and trust. ✨ 5-Minute Check-Ins — Prevent disconnection with short, meaningful chats. ✨ Micro-Appreciations — Boost relationship resilience through daily gratitude.Tune in now and discover how just 15 minutes a week can lead to 13 extra hours of intentional connection every year.Want deeper insights? Visit www.elleciapaine.com to explore my Beyond Monogamy program.https://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show

Send us a textThe dinner party where your partner's other partner shows up. The wedding where you're trying to explain your relationship structure to curious relatives. The community gathering where you're juggling attention between multiple partners.Social events in non-monogamous relationships present unique challenges that most relationship advice completely ignores.In this raw and practical episode, I sit down with Danny to unpack exactly how to navigate these complex situations with confidence. Drawing from our combined experiences, we share the strategies that actually work when theory meets reality.What You'll Learn:Proven pre-event communication strategies that prevent misunderstandingsReal-world techniques for managing jealousy when it hits unexpectedlyHow to balance attention between partners without keeping a mental scorecardPost-event reconnection rituals that strengthen all your relationshipsReal Stories, Real SolutionsWe don't just share theory - we open up about our own awkward moments, painful lessons, and eventual breakthroughs. From Danny's first swinger party anxiety to my own experience navigating family gatherings with multiple partners, we offer the kind of honest insights that only come from lived experience."The goal isn't to never feel uncomfortable," I explain. "It's to have tools to handle the discomfort when it inevitably shows up."Communication is Key: We discuss why talking about your fears and expectations before an event can make all the difference. It's not just about setting rules in your non- monogamous relationships – it's about understanding each other's needs and concerns.Navigating Different Dynamics: From swinger parties to polyamory gatherings, we explore how to handle various social situations with multiple partners. Learn how to balance attention and manage different relationship structures in public settings.Building Confidence: Discover how each social event is an opportunity to grow more secure in your open relationships and yourself. We share personal stories of overcoming anxiety and building resilience.Want the Non-Monogamy Card Game? Get your discount with coupon code NOPE10 https://www.thenonmonogamycardgame.com/products/the-gameRemember, feeling nervous about these situations is completely normal. The key is learning how to work through those feelings and create positive experiences for yourself and your partners.Join us for an honest, sometimes humoroushttps://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show

Send us a textHave you ever felt like you're living someone else's version of a "good" relationship? That moment when you realize you've been checking boxes you never actually chose for yourself? I've been there, and it's time we talk about moving from relationship "shoulds" to relationship "coulds."In this episode, I'm sharing my journey from living a picture-perfect life on the outside while hiding a painful reality behind closed doors. Together, we'll explore how to break free from inherited relationship scripts and create connections that truly honor who you are.What You'll Discover:How to identify relationship "shoulds" that were installed in you like unwanted softwareWhy giving yourself permission to want more isn't selfish—it's essentialA step-by-step process for creating your authentic relationship visionPractical tools to transform your vision into living, breathing realityKey Insights:Uncovering Inherited Beliefs: I share how I felt threatened when my husband's girlfriend made him lunch - not because I wanted to make lunch, but because I'd absorbed the belief that "good partners feed their partners." We'll explore where these beliefs come from and how to choose which ones actually serve you.The Desire Inventory: Learn how to conduct a judgment-free exploration of what you truly want in relationships, without apology or explanation.Designing Your Authentic Relationship: Explore dimensions like power dynamics, attention needs, and personal boundaries to craft connections that energize rather than drain you.Making It Real: Discover practical tools including "connection conversations" that focus on the quality of relationships rather than labels or hierarchy.Remember: Your perfect relationship doesn't look like anyone else's - and that's exactly how it should be.Resources Mentioned:Free Guide: "Let's Talk About It: Your Guide to Ethically Non-Monogamous Conversations"Book Reference: "Unbound" by Kasia UrbaniakBeyond Monogamy Program: elleciapaine.comJoin me as we challenge conventional notions of what relationships "should" be and explore https://elleciapaine.com/callEye-Opening Moments PodcastEye-Opening Moments are stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives. They are...Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifySupport the show

Send us a textAre you trying to navigate ethical non-monogamy through trial and error? In this episode I reveal why the DIY approach to non-monogamy often leads to unexpected emotional and relationship costs.Episode Highlights: • Understanding the hidden costs of unsupported non-monogamy • Real stories from couples navigating ethical non-monogamy • Practical solutions for common non-monogamous relationship challenges • Expert strategies for building successful non-monogamous relationshipsThe Real Price of DIY Non-MonogamyI break down five often-overlooked costs that can derail your non-monogamous journey:Trust Bankruptcy: How small mistakes create lasting damageEmotional Debt Spiral: The compound interest of unprocessed feelingsCommunity Isolation: Why going it alone increases riskTime Lost to Recovery: The true cost of preventable mistakesRelationship Wear and Tear: Understanding cumulative damageEach of these can silently erode the foundation of your relationships, often before you even realize what's happening.From Struggle to Success: Practical SolutionsBut don't worry – I'm not just here to paint a gloomy picture. I offer three powerful steps you can take right now to protect your relationships and set yourself up for success in non-monogamy:Assess and build your support systemIdentify your knowledge gapsCreate a relationship safety netPlus, I share a bonus tip on establishing success metrics that most people overlook."Working with Ellecia gave me more clarity in eight weeks than I found in two years of trying to figure it out alone."If you're tired of stumbling through the dark and ready to illuminate your path in non-monogamy, this episode is your beacon. Learn how to avoid costly mistakes, build a strong foundation, and create the fulfilling, authentic connections you've been seeking.Ready to stop paying the hidden costs of DIY non-monogamy? Visit elleciapaine.com/call to book your clarity chat and discover how we can work together to transform your non-monogamous journey.https://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show

Send us a text

Send us a textFeeling lost in non-monogamy? Struggling with unclear boundaries? Without clarity, your relationships can feel uncertain and chaotic. In this episode, I break down why clarity is EVERYTHING when it comes to thriving in open relationships. 

Send us a textAre you navigating the emotional landscape of non-monogamy? In this episode, I chat with Lola Phoenix, author of "The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy", "The Non-monogamy Journal", and host of the "Non-Monogamy Help" podcast. We chat about the complexities of open relationships and how to build a toolkit for managing the intense emotions that often arise.Key Insights:The importance of having a personal "anchor" in non-monogamous relationshipsCreating a self-care emergency protocol for challenging emotional momentsWhy traditional advice like "just go on a date night" might not always workHow to approach STI discussions and boundaries in open relationshipsThe value of community support in navigating non-monogamous lifestylesWe explore the concept of an "anchor" - a personal reason for choosing non-monogamy that goes beyond just keeping your current relationship intact. Lola explains why this is crucial for weathering the inevitable emotional storms that come with opening up a relationship.A Peek Into the Episode:"I think that anxiety is actually a pretty normal reaction for most people to their relationship opening. And I don't think that you necessarily have to be an anxious person to be super anxious when that's happening." ~Lola PhoenixLola challenges the notion that you can simply "research your way out of feelings" and offers practical advice for creating a self-care plan. We discuss the importance of writing down your strategies for managing difficult emotions, as your brain might not be in a learning state when you're feeling activated.We also touch on the sometimes heartbreaking situations Lola encounters in their advice column, where non-monogamy isn't the real issue, but rather a symptom of deeper relationship problems.Whether you're new to non-monogamy or a seasoned explorer, this conversation offers valuable perspectives on building healthier, more authentic relationships. Join us as we unpack the emotional complexities of open relationships and discover tools for creating more fulfilling connections.Check out Lola's books and resources at Poly Healing Retreat in Crete – March 31st to April 3rd, 2025Looking for a transformative getaway to deepen your connections and heal relationship challenges? Join Dedeker Winston of the Multiamory podcast and award-winning dance/movement therapist Orit Krug on the mythical island of Crete for a somatic therapy retreat designed specifically for polyamorous folks.Visit multiamory.com/retreat to learn more https://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show

Send us a textHave you ever tried to brush off jealousy, hoping it would simply fade away? In this eye-opening episode, I uncover the hidden costs of ignoring this powerful emotion in non-monogamous relationships.Uncover the truth about jealousy:Why avoiding jealousy actually intensifies its impactHow unaddressed jealousy erodes trust and emotional safetyPractical steps to prevent jealousy from damaging your connectionsWe'll uncover the subtle ways jealousy can take root, even when you think you're "handling it." Learn how to recognize the early signs and address them before they escalate into relationship-threatening issues.Discover strategies for healthier relationships:Creating emotional safety through open communicationTransforming jealousy into a tool for self-awareness and growthBuilding resilience and security in your partnershipsWhether you're new to non-monogamy or been at it for years, this episode offers valuable insights to help you navigate the complexities of jealousy with grace and intention.Don't miss out on:Real-life examples of how ignored jealousy impacts relationshipsTechniques for addressing jealousy before it spirals out of controlInformation on the "Beyond Jealousy" program for deeper healingReady to stop letting jealousy control your relationships? Tune in now and take the first step towards creating more authentic, secure connections in your non-monogamous journey.As a relationship coach specializing in ethical non-monogamy, I bring years of experience and a compassionate approach to help you transform jealousy from a source of conflict into an opportunity for growth and deeper intimacy.https://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show

Send us a textAre you tired of swiping endlessly on dating apps, feeling like you're getting nowhere? In this episode, I sit down with Julie and Yue, the dynamic duo behind the Dateable podcast and authors of "How to Be Dateable: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Person and Falling in Love." These dating experts are here to shake up your approach to modern romance, whether you're monogamous, non-monogamous, or somewhere in between.We dive deep into why non-monogamous dating often leads to better sex, the importance of DIY-ing your relationships for ultimate happiness, and strategies to overcome dating app burnout. Plus, Julie and Yue share their game-changing insights on:The power of defining your own relationship rulesUnderstanding your dating archetype and how it impacts your love lifeThe secret behind the 24-hour rule in datingHow to connect authentically with potential partnersJulie Krafchick & Yue Xu are active daters turned dating insiders, and top influential voices of modern dating, relationships, and connection in the digital world. They're the authors of How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Person and Falling in Love and the co-hosts of the hit podcast Dateable, which has been named one of the top podcasts about modern dating and relationships by the New York Times, The Huffington Post, Oprah Daily, and more. They're also the hosts and executive producers of the dating experiment show Exit Interview. Julie brings her background in human-centered design and research, while Yue shares her experience as a dating coach. Together you can find them at dateablepodcast.com and @dateablepodcast.  Ready to revolutionize your love life? Don't miss out on Julie and Yue's book, "How to Be Dateable," and take their dating archetype quiz at howtobedateable.com to uncover your unique approach to love and relationships.Poly Healing Retreat in Crete – March 31st to April 3rd, 2025Looking for a transformative getaway to deepen your connections and heal relationship challenges? Join Dedeker Winston of the Multiamory podcast and award-winning dance/movement therapist Orit Krug on the mythical island of Crete for a somatic therapy retreat designed specifically for polyamorous folks.Visit multiamory.com/retreat to learn more https://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show

Send us a textHave you ever found yourself caught in the grip of jealousy, promising that next time will be different, only to find those familiar feelings resurface? If you've been trying to tackle jealousy on your own without success, you're not alone. In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on why DIY approaches to managing jealousy often fall short, and why deeper work is crucial for lasting change.I'll explore the hidden complexities of jealousy, moving beyond surface-level solutions to uncover the root causes that keep us stuck. I'll share insights on why willpower alone isn't enough and how attempting to suppress or avoid jealousy can actually intensify its grip on our relationships and self-esteem.Key Insights:Why jealousy isn't just an emotion, but a signal pointing to deeper issuesThe common pitfalls of DIY jealousy management and how to avoid themThe importance of structured guidance and professional support in overcoming jealousyHow to recognize when you're ready for real change in your approach to jealousyJoin me as we challenge the notion that we should handle jealousy alone and explore a path towards more peaceful, confident, and connected relationships. It's time to move beyond DIY solutions and embrace a more effective approach to managing jealousy in non-monogamous contexts.Ready to take the next step? Visit elleciapaine.com/jealousy to learn more about the Beyond Jealousy program, an 8-week group coaching experience designed to help you find freedom from jealousy and create more fulfilling relationships.https://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show

Send us a textAre you ready to challenge everything you thought you knew about relationships? In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with Annie Undone, a writer, artist, and relationship anarchist who's been through it all - from monogamy to swinging, polyamory, and now relationship anarchy. Together, we unpack the raw truth about opening up relationships and why it might just lead to the end of your current partnership... but that's not necessarily a bad thing.The Uncomfortable Truth About Opening UpWhy most people are terrified of opening their relationships (and why they might be right)The challenges of taking it slow when you're excited about new possibilitiesHow to embrace relationship transitions without letting fear hold you backBeyond the Binary: Redefining Love and ConnectionThe beauty of tailoring relationships to fit the people in them, not societal expectationsWhy relationship anarchy isn't just for the polyamorous crowdHow exploring different relationship styles can accelerate personal growth and self-discoveryA Peek into Annie's Upcoming WorkAnnie teases her new ebook, "On Polyamory," coming out in February. It's a collection of 11 essays chronicling the emotional peaks and valleys of her journey through polyamory and the end of her marriage. Find her work on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/annie_undone website - https://ko-fi.com/annieundone/shoppatreon - https://www.patreon.com/annieundonePoly Healing Retreat in Crete – March 31st to April 3rd, 2025Looking for a transformative getaway to deepen your connections and heal relationship challenges? Join Dedeker Winston of the Multiamory podcast and award-winning dance/movement therapist Orit Krug on the mythical island of Crete for a somatic therapy retreat designed specifically for polyamorous folks.Visit multiamory.com/retreat to learn more and apply

Send us a textHave you ever felt that knot in your stomach when your partner laughs a little too hard with someone new? Or that tightness in your chest when they're excited about a fresh connection? Jealousy can be an unwelcome guest in our emotional landscape, especially in non-monogamous relationships. But what if I told you that this intense feeling isn't your enemy, but potentially one of your most powerful allies?In this episode, I'm sharing a perspective that completely changed my approach to jealousy. We're looking deep into why jealousy feels so primal, what it's really trying to tell us, and how we can transform it from a source of pain into a tool for growth and deeper connection.Key Insights:Understanding the evolutionary roots of jealousy and why it feels so intenseDecoding the three core messages jealousy typically carriesPractical strategies for working with jealousy instead of against itHow to communicate about jealousy without creating conflictTransforming jealousy into an opportunity for personal growth and stronger relationshipsLearn how to recognize jealousy as a signal from your nervous system, and discover a three-step process to turn that gut-wrenching feeling into a powerful tool for growth. We'll discuss the importance of curiosity, self-reflection, and open communication in navigating these intense emotions."Jealousy isn't about being irrational or dramatic. It shows up because it touches on things that matter to us really, really deeply. Our sense of love, connection, belonging, trust, and safety." Do you feel like you could use some help with your relationships? Get on a free call with Ellecia to see how she can help you move through the challenges of jealousy, fear, anxiety, and insecurities in a way that strengthens your relationships, deepens your trust, and communication, and leaves you feeling confident. https://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the show

Send us a textAre you tired of jealousy hijacking your relationships? Imagine stepping into 2025 with the power to transform those uncomfortable feelings into opportunities for growth and deeper connection. In this episode, I'm sharing three powerful tools to help you navigate jealousy in non-monogamous relationships with confidence and grace.What You'll Discover:How to identify jealousy in your body before it spirals in your mindThe art of uncovering hidden triggers that fuel jealous thoughtsA game-changing approach to reframing jealousy as a helpful signalKey Insights:Why suppressing jealousy only makes it strongerThe surprising connection between curiosity and relationship growthReal-life examples of transforming jealousy into deeper intimacyWhether you're new to non-monogamy or an old pro, this episode offers practical strategies to help you create lighter, more loving relationships. Learn how to turn jealousy from your enemy into your ally on the path to personal growth.As a relationship coach with over a decade of experience in non-monogamy, I bring both personal insights and professional expertise to help you navigate the complexities of open relationships. My approach combines practical tools with deep emotional work to foster genuine connection and personal growth.Ready to make 2025 the year you finally break free from jealousy's grip? Tune in now and take the first step towards more fulfilling, confident non-monogamous relationships.Get on the waitlist for Beyond Jealousy today. www.elleciapaine.com/jealousySupport the show

Send us a textAre you grappling with jealousy in your non-monogamous relationships? Curious about the differences between solo polyamory and relationship anarchy? In this eye-opening episode, I'm joined by the legendary Kathy Labriola, a counselor, nurse, and author with decades of experience guiding polyamorous and non-monogamous folks.Mastering JealousyUnderstanding why jealousy arises and how it differs from envy or covetingPractical strategies for addressing the root causes of jealousySolo Polyamory vs. Relationship AnarchyExploring the nuances between these relationship stylesHow different approaches impact emotional dynamicsBuilding Trust and CommunicationTechniques for creating more honest, deep communication in your relationshipsStrategies for emotional growth and embracing opennessComing Out as PolyamorousKathy's unique "platform release strategy" for navigating this processBalancing personal authenticity with potential consequencesAbout Kathy Labriola:Kathy Labriola is a counselor, nurse, and author with extensive experience in guiding polyamorous and non-monogamous individuals. Her recently updated book, Love and Abundance: A Counselor's Advice on Open Relationships, offers a wealth of wisdom gained from decades in the field.www.kathylabriola.comWhether you're dealing with feelings of insecurity, navigating new relationship dynamics, or simply curious about the intricacies of non-monogamous relationships, this episode provides valuable perspectives to enhance your understanding and practice of ethical non-monogamy.Join us for this thought-provoking discussion that challenges conventional notions of love and relationships, encouraging listeners to explore what authenticity and connection truly mean to them in the context of non-monogamy.Don't forget to leave a review if you enjoy this episode – it's the best way to help the podcast grow and reach more people interested in exploring non-monogamous relationships! Support the show

Send us a textHow do you turn someone down romantically without creating awkwardness or burning bridges? In this episode, my partner, Danny, and I tackle one of the trickiest aspects of non-monogamous relationships: rejection. Inspired by a question from one of our Patreon supporters, we explore how to say "no" in a way that's respectful, kind, and true to your own boundaries.Key Topics We Cover:Why Over-Explaining Hurts More Than It Helps: Learn how to set boundaries without feeling the need to justify yourself.Handling Social Dynamics After a Rejection: Discover strategies for maintaining positive connections in your community.Balancing Honesty with Kindness: Find out how to express your needs without hurting others unnecessarily.Practical Tips and Personal StoriesWe both open up about our own experiences with rejection, sharing valuable advice on how to:Stand firm in your boundaries and desires.Communicate with clarity and confidence.Handle rejection with grace when it happens to you.A Conversation Rooted in Self-WorthWe also discuss how to deal with the sting of being turned down. From navigating feelings of hopelessness to rebuilding self-worth, this episode provides actionable insights for building resilience and honoring your authentic self in all interactions."What I want matters more than what others want for me."Bonus Segment for Patreon Supporters:Want an extra does of insight? For our dedicated Patreon friends, we've included an exclusive "Just the Tip" segment with additional insights and a spicy tidbit you won't want to miss. Head over to patreon.com/notmonogamous to to unlock ad-free episodes, Q&A calls, and more perks.Whether you're new to non-monogamy or been on this ride for years, this episode offers tools for navigating rejection with confidence and compassion. Tune in for a conversation that will transform the way you approach saying—and hearing—"no."

Send us a textAre You Ready to Rethink How You Date?Tired of endlessly swiping on dating apps and feeling like you're spinning your wheels? In this episode, I sit down with Rozie Erlewine, a compassionate matchmaker and polyamorous community organizer who's been helping people connect in the Seattle polyamory scene since 2017. Rozie, the founder of Seattle Inclusive Matchmaking and host of polyamorous speed dating events, brings fresh ideas to creating real, intentional connections outside the apps.  Here's What We Talk About:✨ How Seattle's polyamory scene has evolved over the years  ✨ Why polyamorous speed dating is changing the game for non-monogamous folks  ✨ The power of slowing down and dating with purpose  ✨ Honest tips for navigating jealousy and insecurity in non-monogamous relationships  ✨ How to build a solid support network within the polyamorous community  Why Rozie's Approach Stands Out:

Send us a text Are you ready to get an in-depth look into navigating kink and non-monogamy together? This episode is your ultimate guide to understanding the fascinating intersection of kink, polyamory, and non-monogamous relationships. I'm sitting down with Still, a veteran kink community organizer and co-host of Tasty!—South Seattle's monitored monthly kink night at The Lumber Yard Bar. Together, we unpack what it really takes to create safe, trusting, and authentic experiences in these diverse communities. What You'll Learn:How Kink, Polyamory, and Swinging Communities Overlap: Discover the surprising similarities and shared practices that bring these communities together.The Power of Clear Boundaries and Pre-Negotiation: Why setting expectations before play is key to building trust and avoiding misunderstandings.Managing Jealousy and Embracing Compersion: Get practical tips on how to navigate the tricky emotions that can arise in non-monogamous dynamics.Safety Tips for Newcomers to Kink Events: From vetting events to understanding the role of dungeon monitors, learn how to make your first kink experience a positive one.The Role of Dungeon Monitors in Creating Safe Spaces: Explore how community support and safety protocols help protect everyone involved.About Our Guest: With over a decade of experience in kink organizing and event production, Still brings a wealth of knowledge to the table. As the co-host of South Seattle's Tasty! Kink Night at The Lumber Yard Bar, they're passionate about creating inclusive, educational, and safe spaces for exploring alternative relationship styles. If you're curious about BDSM or interested in broadening your understanding of non-monogamy, this episode is packed with valuable insights and expert advice. Visit the Lumberyard bar in White Center every first Thursday of the month to attend the public monitored kink night event co-hosted by Still. Listen Now: This episode is for anyone, whether you're new to the world of alternative relationship structures or a seasoned participant. Tune in for an honest, insightful, and judgment-free discussion that offers fresh perspectives on trust, communication, and self-discovery.Tune in now and subscribe to "Nope! We're Not Monogamous" so you never miss an episode! Support the show

Send us a textCurious about what it really takes to date in the non-monogamous world? In this episode, I'm joined by Shannon Whaley, an anti-hustle business coach and newly-out polyamorous explorer, as we dive into the challenges and breakthroughs of non-monogamous dating. Together, we break down the nuances of setting clear boundaries, asking the tough but essential questions, and finding self-worth after surviving toxic relationships.Shannon opens up about her journey and how embracing both non-monogamy and BDSM practices has transformed her approach to building healthy, authentic connections. Whether you're navigating jealousy, learning to communicate needs, or just starting to explore ethical non-monogamy, Shannon's insights offer a fresh and empowering take on healing, intimacy, and self-discovery.Here's what you'll discover in this episode:How to set and maintain boundaries in non-monogamous relationshipsThe importance of direct communication and asking tough questionsNavigating the complexities of dating while living abroadThe role of BDSM checklists in fostering trust and clear boundariesPractical tools for reclaiming your power and creating meaningful connectionsAbout Shannon Whaley:Shannon is an anti-hustle business coach living in Italy with her two bilingual cats. She's been coaching since 2015, helping service providers build sustainable online businesses. Now, she's navigating her own journey in polyamory and non-monogamy, sharing her insights and challenges along the way. www.shannonwhaley.comWhether you're new to non-monogamous dating or looking to refine your approach, this episode offers a refreshingly honest look at the realities of exploring relationships beyond traditional boundaries. Join us for a conversation that might just change the way you think about connection, communication, and personal growth in the world of ethical non-monogamy."Healing and growth are not only possible, they're powerful. Reclaiming your self-worth after toxic experiences is within reach."Don't forget to rate and review the podcast if you enjoy these conversations. It helps us reach more people and keeps the dialogue open – which is super important in the world of non-monogamous relationships!00:00:00 Introducing Non-Monogamous Dating and Healing After Toxic Relationships00:02:27 Shannon's Journey into Non-Monogamy and Self-Discovery00:06:07 Setting Boundaries and Communicating Effectively00:23:54Navigating Non-Monogamous Dating and Setting Boundaries00:28:00 Navigating Non-Monogamy in a Different Culture00:54:35 BDSM and Trust-Building in Relationships00:56:43 Reclaiming Self-Worth and Creating Authentic Connections Support the show

Send us a textEver wondered what happens when kink and non-monogamy collide with trauma healing? In this episode, I sit down with the incredible Maeve McBride, a kink and ENM educator, erotic coach, and the Executive Director of Kinkfest 2025, to talk about how these worlds intersect—and it's not just about the fun stuff (though there's plenty of that too).Maeve takes us on a journey, from supporting polyamorous families through childbirth to becoming a powerhouse in the kink community. We dig into how kink can actually be a tool for healing trauma and building emotional resilience by providing a structured, consent-driven space for exploration.Here's what we get into:How kink practices can build trust and create safe spaces for trauma survivorsThe importance of clear communication and consent in both kink and non-monogamous relationshipsPractical tools for managing triggers and building emotional resilienceThe healing power of choosing your own challenges in controlled environmentsHow herbal remedies can enhance intimacy and pleasure (yes, herbs have a place in the bedroom!)And we get into all things Kinkfest, the largest kink convention in the world, and how it creates a judgement-free zone for self-expression and play. Maeve's ability to mix nurturing mom energy with badass kink educator vibes makes her perspective refreshing and super accessible for those new to the scene.Meet Maeve McBride:Maeve is not your average kink educator. She's a clinical sexological herbalist and trauma-informed coach who blends her deep knowledge of kink, non-monogamy, and plant medicine into her work. Maeve's personal healing journey from sexual trauma gives her a compassionate, real-world approach to helping others on their path.www.maevemcbride.comhttps://fetlife.com/users/13527208Whether you're just dipping your toes into kink, navigating polyamory, or curious about how herbs can spice up your love life, this episode is packed with practical takeaways and new ways to think about consent, communication, and healing. Join us for a mind opening chat that pushes the boundaries of what healing, relationships, and self-expression can look like. You'll walk away with fresh tools and a whole new perspective on creating safe, consensual spaces in your life. Support the show

Send us a textEver wondered how sex educators navigate their own intimate encounters? In this candid and eye-opening episode, I sit down with renowned sex and relationship educator Reid Mihalko for an intimate conversation about the intricacies of communication, consent, and safer sex practices.As we chat on a hotel bed (where else?), Reid shares his wealth of experience and practical wisdom on navigating hookups, casual encounters, and the complexities of intimacy in non-monogamous relationships. With his trademark humor and openness, Reid offers invaluable insights that will leave you feeling more equipped to have those important conversations, whether you're exploring polyamory or simply looking to make your casual encounters more enjoyable and consensual.Key Insights:The art of navigating consent in various contextsPractical strategies for handling unexpected emotions in casual encountersTips for managing disappointment when things don't go as plannedThe importance of clear communication in safer sex practicesHow to approach intimacy at conferences and eventsABOUT REID MIHALKO: As seen on NETFLIX' "Chelsea Does..." alongside Chelsea Handler, Reid Mihalko (he/him) of ReidAboutSex.com is an internationally known sex and relationship geek who threw an orgy for Oprah's OWN Network on Lisa Ling's "Our America." He has led thousands of workshops and play parties, and his work has been covered by media outlets across 7 continents. His charisma and easy to understand, pragmatic advice has helped people at virtual and in-person events. His workshops and college lectures have been attended by over 60,000 people from across the globe. Reid would also like you to know that, in early 2018, some very brave people came forward during #MeToo sharing harms that Reid had caused them. Reid stepped down from teaching and initiated a transformative justice-based accountability process to address his misconduct and make amends if and where possible. The formal, year-long process along with Reid's apology and resources were shared publicly and can be found at TinyURL.com/reidaccountability. Follow @ReidAboutSex on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube. I'm thrilled to announce that I am a nominee in the Women in Podcasting Awards! Please vote for me in the Relationship Podcast category. It would be a huge help to me. Your vote would go a long way in helping me gain visibility and get my message out into the world. Instructions:Go here to vote between August 1st to October 1st:https://womeninpodcasting.net/nope-were-not-monogamous/ Support the show

Send us a textNavigating the complexities of non-monogamous relationships can be challenging, especially when it comes to dealing with jealousy. In this conversation, I sit down with Ann Russo, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist specializing in non-monogamous relationships, to explore the intricacies of love beyond traditional boundaries.Ann shares her unique perspective, having grown up in a non-monogamous household, and offers valuable insights into the world of ethical non-monogamy. We discuss the importance of communication, self-awareness, and authenticity in building healthy non-monogamous relationships.Key Insights You'll Gain:Understanding the fluid nature of non-monogamy and how it can evolve over timeStrategies for addressing jealousy and insecurity in open relationshipsThe importance of defining personal boundaries and communicating needs effectivelyHow to navigate societal expectations and overcome internalized biasesThe role of self-love and sexual empowerment in non-monogamous relationshipsWe also touch on the challenges of raising children in non-monogamous households and the importance of fostering open, shame-free conversations about love and relationships.Whether you're curious about non-monogamy, currently navigating open relationships, or simply interested in expanding your understanding of diverse relationship structures, this episode offers valuable perspectives and practical advice for creating authentic, fulfilling connections.Ann Russo is a licensed clinical social worker and therapist specializing in non-monogamous relationships. She runs a practice of therapists trained in working with non-monogamous individuals and couples. Ann also provides consulting and training for therapists on non-monogamy, sex-positive approaches, and the intersection of religion and sexuality.Connect with Ann:www.annrusso.orgwww.linkedin.com/in/annrussolcsw I'm thrilled to announce that I am a nominee in the Women in Podcasting Awards! Please vote for me in the Relationship Podcast category. It would be a huge help to me. Your vote would go a long way in helping me gain visibility and get my message out into the world. Instructions:Go here to vote between August 1st to October 1st:https://womeninpodcasting.net/nope-were-not-monogamous/ Support the show

Send us a textImagine a game that sparks deep conversations, fosters understanding, and strengthens your relationships. That's exactly what the brilliant minds behind The Non Monogamy Card Game have created. This innovative tool is designed to help you explore the complexities of ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and open relationships in a fun and approachable way.In this episode, I sit down with Ayala & Kristen, the creators of this game-changing resource. As professional psychotherapists from Northern California, they've poured their expertise into crafting 150 thought-provoking questions that encourage players to explore their values, desires, and needs within non-monogamous relationships.Discover how the Non Monogamy Card Game can help you:Initiate difficult conversations with ease and curiosityExplore your personal values and how they align with non-monogamous relationshipsCreate living agreements that evolve with your relationshipsFoster deeper understanding between partners and within polyculesNavigate the complexities of non-monogamy with more confidence and clarityJoin us for this eye-opening chat and learn how a simple deck of cards can open up a world of possibilities for your relationships. Whether you're looking to enhance your current non-monogamous partnerships or curious about exploring new relationship structures, this episode offers practical guidance and actionable steps. Get the game www.thenonmonogamycardgame.com I'm thrilled to announce that I am a nominee in the Women in Podcasting Awards! Please vote for me in the Relationship Podcast category. It would be a huge help to me. Your vote would go a long way in helping me gain visibility and get my message out into the world. Instructions:Go here to vote between August 1st to October 1st:https://womeninpodcasting.net/nope-were-not-monogamous/ Join Beyond Compare, the 6-week group coaching program designed to empower non-monogamous women like you.

Send us a Text Message.In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with the incomparable Susan Bratton, a true pioneer in sexual wellness and non-monogamy. With decades of experience under her belt, Susan shares her wealth of knowledge on everything from STI testing to hormone replacement therapy, offering insights that could revolutionize your sex life.Susan's candid approach to discussing her personal journey, including her current throuple arrangement and experiences with over a thousand threesomes, creates a safe space for exploring the intricacies of non-monogamous relationships. Her expertise in sexual techniques, communication skills, and intimate health paints a comprehensive picture of what it takes to cultivate a fulfilling sex life at any age.Key Insights:• The importance of understanding female arousal and desire• Strategies for maintaining sexual health and pleasure as we age• The lowdown on STI testing and safe sex practices in non-monogamous relationships• How to navigate the emotional aspects of disclosing STI status• The potential benefits and risks of new sexual health technologies and treatmentsSusan's Top Tips for Better Sex:1. Embrace "non-negotiables" in the bedroom2. Prioritize relaxation for better arousal3. Explore regenerative therapies for sexual health4. Communicate openly about STI status and testing5. Continuously educate yourself on sexual wellness16:30 https://arousalsecret.com/21:45 https://orgasmiccrosstraining.com/29:30 https://personallifemedia.com/pump-guide/33:58 https://www.glownaturalwellness.com/products/glow-below38:30 http://pleasureprotocol.com/47:49 fullpaneltest.comhttps://gainswave.com/susan I'm thrilled to announce that I am a nominee in the Women in Podcasting Awards! Please vote for me in the Relationship Podcast category. It would be a huge help to me. Your vote would go a long way in helping me gain visibility and get my message out into the world. Instructions:Go here to vote between August 1st to October 1st:https://womeninpodcasting.net/nope-were-not-monogamous/ Join Beyond Compare, the 6-week group coaching program designed to empower non-monogamous women like you.

Send us a Text Message.Let's explore the complexities of living in polyamorous relationships with relationship coach Laura Boyle, author of Monogamy? In this Economy?Finances, Childrearing, and Other Practical Concerns of Polyamory. We discuss the challenges and triumphs of shared living, finances, and parenting in multi-partner households.From cohabitation logistics and financial planning to co-parenting strategies and managing breakups, Laura offers practical advice and candid insights. We also dig into the social stigmas and legal challenges faced by polyamorous families.Discover how real people are navigating the intricacies of polyamory and creating fulfilling lives with multiple partners.Laura Boyle is a relationship coach, educator, and the voice behind the blog at readyforpolyamory.com and the accompanying podcast. She has been an expert voice on the topics of polyamory and parenting for the Boston Globe, the Economist, Parents Magazine, and Cosmopolitan, as well as being polyamorous herself for nearly 20 years. Her coaching practice is largely focused on helping non-monogamous folks through major life transitions, and she's based in New Haven, CT. Join Beyond Compare, the 8-week group coaching program designed to empower non-monogamous women like you.

Send us a Text Message.This episode gives you a peek into the remarkable journey of Jamie Love, from a conservative religious background to leading a thriving, international sex-positive community, Sex Positive World. You'll hear how Jamie fosters spaces where people can explore intimacy and sexuality openly and shame-free.Key Discussion Points:The Power of Consent in Everyday Life: We explore the power of small consent practices like cuddle parties and massage nights for fostering healthy connections and healing pleasure disconnects.Creating Safe Spaces for Exploration: Discover how Sex Positive World's legendary Hawaiian retreats create environments where people feel truly safe, seen, and free to reach new depths of pleasure and connection.Building Healthy Relationships: We delve into Sex Positive World's orientation classes, where participants practice setting boundaries, saying no, and having those crucial (but sometimes awkward) conversations. Learn how Jamie emphasizes real transformation through supportive community.Exploring Non-Monogamy: Whether you're curious about ethical non-monogamy or simply looking for a supportive community, this episode is for you!In This Episode, You Will Learn:The benefits of joining sex-positive communities.How to ethically explore non-monogamy.Tips for hosting inclusive massage parties.Strategies for building a culture of consent in your relationships.About the Polytopia Conference    (where I'll be a guest speaker)  https://www.sexpositiveportland.org/events/9504 Meet Our Guest: Jamie LoveJamie Love is the Executive Director of Sex Positive World (https://www.sexpositiveworld.org/), a global organization dedicated to spreading inclusive radical sex positivity and empowering individuals to build their own sex-positive communities. A self-identified ethical slut and non-monogamous person, Jamie teaches workshops ranging from Do you feel like you could use some help with your relationships? Get on a free call with Ellecia to see how she can help you move through the challenges of jealousy, fear, anxiety, and insecurities in a way that strengthens your relationships, deepens your trust, and communication, and leaves you feeling confident. https://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the Show.

Send us a Text Message.Intrigued by polyamory but unsure how it translates to long-term relationships? Especially as we age?Today, we're venturing into the world of thriving polyamory in your golden years. Joining us is the amazing Kathy Labriola, a therapist, nurse, and author who's been living the poly life for 50 years! Kathy is author of four books on consensual nonmonogamy: Love in Abundance: A Counselor's Advice on Open Relationships, One of my fav's , The Jealousy Workbook, The Polyamory Break-up Book: Causes, Survival.Kathy's new book, "Polyamorous Elders," tackles the unique joys and challenges of navigating polyamory as we mature. We'll be diving deep into communication, legal considerations, and even keeping your sex life sizzling!Whether you're a seasoned polyamorist or curious newcomer, this episode offers invaluable insights for building strong, fulfilling connections as you age.Get ready to learn about:The surprising benefits of polyamory for older adults.Essential communication tools to avoid misunderstandings.Strategies for navigating jealousy in poly relationships.Planning for your future, legally and financially.And fostering new forms of intimacy as your life changes.Ready to explore the vibrant world of polyamory at any age? Buckle up and join our conversation with Kathy Labriola!For more from Kathy, visit her website atwww.kathylabriola.comLet's get started! Do you feel like you could use some help with your relationships? Get on a free call with Ellecia to see how she can help you move through the challenges of jealousy, fear, anxiety, and insecurities in a way that strengthens your relationships, deepens your trust, and communication, and leaves you feeling confident. https://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the Show.

Send us a Text Message.Let's be real: navigating ethical non-monogamy (ENM) can be thrilling, confusing, and sometimes downright messy. But no worries! We've got power couple Sasha and Moritz on deck to spill the tea on building a strong ENM connection.With refreshing candor, they peel back the layers on cultivating extraordinary intimacy. You'll discover practical strategies for courageously expressing desires, setting boundaries, and managing the inevitable ups and downs with grace. Their approach transcends relationship structures, providing a roadmap for deeper vulnerability and growth within yourself and your connections.Here are just a few of the invaluable gems you'll gain:Powerful communication techniques to foster trust and understandingMindset shifts to take full responsibility for your emotionsReframing jealousy as a gateway to intimacy instead of a roadblockUsing sex as a sacred practice to accelerate personal evolutionStaying true to your authentic self amidst societal pressuresAnd don't forget to check out Sasha and Moritz's website, Kerkmann Hood Coaching https://www.kerkmannhoodcoaching.com/ to learn more about their work and explore the world of passionate, non-monogamous relationships. Do you feel like you could use some help with your relationships? Get on a free call with Ellecia to see how she can help you move through the challenges of jealousy, fear, anxiety, and insecurities in a way that strengthens your relationships, deepens your trust, and communication, and leaves you feeling confident. https://elleciapaine.com/callThere Are No Gays In MontanaComing out can be hard, especially in rural America. There Are No Gays In Montana is...Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifySupport the Show.

Send us a Text Message.First dates in the non-monogamous world? We've got you covered!Join Ellecia and Danny for a hilarious and informative exploration of navigating this unique dating scene. From conversation starters (forget the weather!) to open communication, this episode equips you with the tools to feel confident and empowered.What to expect:Break the ice with questions that spark real connections: Learn how to ask engaging questions about someone's journey into non-monogamy and their existing relationships.Ditch the "what do you do?" routine: Learn thought-provoking questions that spark genuine connection and go beyond the surface.Our not-so-perfect dating moments (Waterworld, anyone?): Laugh along as Ellecia and Danny share their personal dating mishaps, proving you're not alone in the awkwardness.Rejection stinks, but you won't: How to handle the inevitable "no" with grace and bounce back stronger.Boundaries & Polycule Talk: Tips for navigating important topics without the awkwardness.Laugh-out-loud stories: Ellecia and Danny share relatable anecdotes that will leave you nodding along (and maybe snorting a little).This episode is your one-stop shop for making non-monogamous dating fun, fulfilling, and full of laughter.Want More?Want to become a master of navigating conversations about ethical non-monogamy? Download your free copy of my ebook, Let's Talk About It: Your Guide to Ethically Non-monogamous Conversations! This comprehensive guide provides even more in-depth strategies, conversation prompts, and practical tips to ensure your non-monogamous relationships thrive. Do you feel like you could use some help with your relationships? Get on a free call with Ellecia to see how she can help you move through the challenges of jealousy, fear, anxiety, and insecurities in a way that strengthens your relationships, deepens your trust, and communication, and leaves you feeling confident. https://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the Show.

Imagine growing up in a world where love had strict rules, only to break free and discover endless possibilities. This is the story of Dan and Jennie, a married couple who defied societal norms to embrace ethical non-monogamy.For over 30 years, Dan and Jennie have navigated the challenges of leaving behind their conservative religious roots and exploring swinging and polyamory. In this honest and heartfelt conversation, Dan shares their journey, from dealing with shame and judgment to tackling the emotional rollercoaster of jealousy and breakups. His insights give us a rare look into the highs and lows of living life on their own terms.Here's what you can expect from this inspiring episode:Letting Go of Old Beliefs: Discover strategies for shedding outdated beliefs and building real connections.Effective Communication and Boundaries: Learn how to communicate better and set healthy boundaries in non-monogamous relationships.Managing Triggers and Embracing Vulnerability: Get practical tips for handling emotional triggers, embracing vulnerability, and focusing on personal growth.Redefining Love and Sexuality: Gain a fresh perspective on love, sexuality, and the freedom to design relationships that reflect your true values.With honesty and hard-earned wisdom, Dan dives into the transformative power of confronting personal traumas, embracing all parts of oneself, and living authentically. Whether you're experienced in non-monogamy or just curious about different relationship structures, this episode is a must-listen. It's a powerful reminder that love has no limits.Join me, Ellecia, and Dan on this eye-opening journey, and find the courage to create a life that's full, passionate, and true to yourself.Want to connect with Dan?  email watersedgeceremonies@gmail.com Do you feel like you could use some help with your relationships? Get on a free call with Ellecia to see how she can help you move through the challenges of jealousy, fear, anxiety, and insecurities in a way that strengthens your relationships, deepens your trust, and communication, and leaves you feeling confident. https://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the Show.

 What if everything you thought you knew about relationships was wrong? Our guest today has been openly non-monogamous for over 20 years, challenging assumptions about love and intimacy every step of the way. Get ready to question societal rules and create connections that actually work for you.Over the past two decades, Brandon has navigated the intricacies of open relationships and ethical non-monogamy. He shares his journey - one filled with hard-won lessons on communication, self-awareness, and letting go of expectations. Brandon explains key concepts like relationship anarchy and the "relationship escalator" in plain terms anyone can understand. He's painfully honest about handling jealousy, avoiding common pitfalls, and why you must know yourself before inviting others into an open dynamic.   Tune into this taboo-busting episode to: The Art of Communication: Brandon will share how he helps people improve their conversation skills to better manage new relationship energy (NRE).Self-Discovery and Emotional Intelligence: We'll talk about the importance of understanding yourself to better navigate the complexities of polyamorous relationships.Breaking Free from Social Expectations: Brandon will discuss how stepping outside conventional relationship models can lead to more authentic connections.What part of Brandon's story are you curious about? Have you faced similar challenges in non-monogamy? I'd love to hear your experiences, so feel free to share!  Do you feel like you could use some help with your relationships? Get on a free call with Ellecia to see how she can help you move through the challenges of jealousy, fear, anxiety, and insecurities in a way that strengthens your relationships, deepens your trust, and communication, and leaves you feeling confident. https://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the Show.

Can sex magic really help you manifest your desires and enhance pleasure? In this candid conversation with Lona, a neo-tantra teacher and sexual bliss coach, we unravel the mysteries behind this esoteric practice. Lona shares her personal journey into non-monogamy, kink, and somatic therapy as gateways to deeper fulfillment. We explore the challenges of her transition from a decade in a monogamous relationship to forging her own path of "no rules" polyamory. Lona explains how she discovered tantra while studying witchcraft, and became fascinated by its power to merge sexuality and spirituality. She offers insight into missteps within past relationships, and how those experiences ultimately strengthened her connections. Lona also discusses techniques for moving beyond trauma triggers using the wisdom of the body over that of the mind. By tuning in you'll: Gain perspective into a teacher's evolution with non-monogamy and polyamoryLearn foundational concepts of neo-tantra, sex magic, somatic therapyPick up strategies for communicating needs and embracing vulnerability in relationshipsFind inspiration to explore your most authentic sexual and spiritual self Join us for an eye-opening, taboo-busting conversation that will teach you how to unlock the magical power of pleasure. Hit play now to start manifesting your desires. Want to Connect with Lona?www.lonateachesbliss.com Do you feel like you could use some help with your relationships? Get on a free call with Ellecia to see how she can help you move through the challenges of jealousy, fear, anxiety, and insecurities in a way that strengthens your relationships, deepens your trust, and communication, and leaves you feeling confident. https://elleciapaine.com/callSupport the Show.

Today, we're challenging everything you thought you knew about love with Adam Lyons, a world-renowned dating coach and psychology expert who's turning traditional views on their head.Adam argues that love isn't just an emotion; it's actually deeply rooted in science, specifically tied to the chemical oxytocin. He'll share how understanding the triggers of attachment, attraction, and happiness can completely transform the way we approach dating and relationships.Adam has a fascinating journey into polyamory and a rich background in both psychology and business, and hes outspoken in his desire to reshape our understanding of romantic relationships. Living in a polyamorous throuple and raising a family within this dynamic has given him a unique perspective on love's complexities. Today, he's here to debunk the myths we've been fed—from fairy tales to Hollywood romances—and to offer practical advice for navigating love in today's world.Prepare to have your perceptions of love and relationships profoundly challenged and enriched. Let's dive into a conversation with Adam Lyons about redefining love beyond the conventional.Want to Connect with Adam? Visit askthedatingcoach.com to take the free personality test and gain insights into your dating life and self-sabotage patterns.Connect with Adam Lyons on Instagram at @theadamlyons for more dating and relationship advice and tips. To claim your free clarity chat with Ellecia visit https://elleciapaine.podia.com/clarity-chat Do you feel like you could use some help with your relationships? Get on a free call with Ellecia to see how she can help you move through the challenges of jealousy, fear, anxiety, and insecurities in a way that strengthens your relationships, deepens your trust, and communication, and leaves you feeling confident. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/clarity-chatSupport the show

Welcome to a candid exploration of the highs and lows of the non-monogamous journey, especially after the significant life transition of divorce. If you've found the path to non-monogamy leaving you with more questions than answers, feeling both overwhelmed and intrigued, this episode is for you.Joining me today are Hunter and Butcher, the insightful duo behind the Poly Pocket Podcast. As a married, UK-based couple navigating polyamory with children, they offer a relatable and supportive voice for those in the polyamorous, consensual non-monogamous (CNM), open relationship, or swinging communities. Their commitment to the development and support of the 'Poly' community shines through their podcast and now, in our conversation.In This Episode, We Cover:Mastering the Transition: Hunter and Butcher share their personal experiences of moving into non-monogamy after divorce, offering wisdom on navigating this significant life change.Unveiling Polyamory: Discover how embracing polyamory can open a new chapter of sexual and emotional exploration, and what it means to truly open up after a traditional monogamous marriage.Embracing Empowerment: Dive into the world of sexual empowerment coaching. Learn how this approach can transform your relationships and personal confidence within a non-monogamous context.Conquering the Green-Eyed Monster: Jealousy is a common challenge in any relationship, but it holds particular prominence in polyamorous dynamics. Hunter and Butcher discuss strategies for managing jealousy and fostering secure attachments.Thriving in Non-Monogamy: Uncover the keys to successful non-monogamous relationships. From communication to boundaries, hear how to navigate the complexities and joys of loving multiple partners.Whether you're new to the concept of non-monogamy or have been on this path for some time, Hunter and Butcher's insights offer valuable guidance and support. Join us as we navigate the intricate, rewarding journey of non-monogamy.Connect with Hunter and Butcher: Available on Spotify, Apple Po To claim your free clarity chat with Ellecia visit https://elleciapaine.podia.com/clarity-chat Do you feel like you could use some help with your relationships? Get on a free call with Ellecia to see how she can help you move through the challenges of jealousy, fear, anxiety, and insecurities in a way that strengthens your relationships, deepens your trust, and communication, and leaves you feeling confident. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/clarity-chatSupport the show

Welcome to a heart-to-heart with Shelby Avann, where we peel back the layers on relationships, intimacy, and the magic of healing. Shelby isn't just any relationship and intimacy coach. She's a Reiki healer too, with a knack for weaving spirituality and science into a transformative blend that empowers women to deepen emotional intimacy, shake off codependency, and wave goodbye to loneliness.In today's chat, Shelby gets real about her own love life adventures. She's journeyed from exploring polyamory to finding her sweet spot in what she calls a "monogamish" relationship. It's all about discovering what truly clicks with your heart and values.Here's What We're Getting Into:Finding Your Non-Monogamy Fit: Shelby talks about figuring out which form of non-monogamy feels right, because one size definitely doesn't fit all.Jealousy: The Green Monster: How do you deal with jealousy and insecurity as you open up your relationship? Shelby's got some solid advice.Trust Talks: The importance of laying down a strong foundation of trust through open talks about needs and setting clear boundaries.Self-Growth is Key: Shelby stresses the importance of working on yourself to find security and fulfillment in any relationship.Healing with Reiki: Discover how Reiki can help clear those stubborn emotional blockages that keep you stuck.Shelby's insights on building intimacy through being real, vulnerable, and sometimes just plain silly with your partner are gold. She also tackles how letting anxiety run the show can throw a wrench in making those deep connections. No matter where you stand on the relationship spectrum, Shelby's wisdom is like having a heart-to-heart with a friend who's seen it all.Want to connect with Shelby?www.shelbyavann.ca To claim your free clarity chat with Ellecia visit https://elleciapaine.podia.com/clarity-chat Do you feel like you could use some help with your relationships? Get on a free call with Ellecia to see how she can help you move through the challenges of jealousy, fear, anxiety, and insecurities in a way that strengthens your relationships, deepens your trust, and communication, and leaves you feeling confident. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/clarity-chatSupport the show

Jealousy: the green-eyed monster we've all wrestled with at some point, and the surprise guest in many non-monogamous relationships. But what if jealousy isn't the adversary we've been conditioned to believe? This week, relationship coach Ali Henry joins me to unwrap the layers of this complex emotion, promising to take you on a journey from apprehension to enlightenment. We'll share laughs, personal stories, and Ali's expert insights, transforming jealousy from a stumbling block to a stepping stone in our intimate connections.You'll discover: - Why jealousy gets a "bad rap" in monogamy and how non-monogamy takes a more compassionate approach - Tangible tips for mapping where jealousy originates from your past - The key to transmuting jealousy into curiosity - Hilarious and insightful stories of Ali's thruple dynamics Ali's vulnerability and wisdom left me feeling seen, understood, and ready to approach jealousy with more self-love and patience. Ali Hendry is a certified relationship coach specializing in non-monogamous relationships, with a particular focus on LGBTQIA+ women, non-binary individuals, and trans folks. Her extensive experience extends to working with singles, duos, and non-monogamous pods, offering valuable guidance in navigating the complexities of diverse relationship dynamics. As a contributor to Diva magazine, Ali's expertise and insights provide a credible perspective on embracing individual love styles and managing non-monogamous dynamics, making her a highly knowledgeable and esteemed voice in the field.Want to connect with Ali?Alihendry.co.ukInstagram TEDx Survivor's Guide to Jealousy https://youtu.be/BTtrGxZXWrI?si=voANt0hpmbHvJ8FL  To claim your free clarity chat with Ellecia visit https://elleciapaine.podia.com/clarity-chat Do you feel like you could use some help with your relationships? Get on a free call with Ellecia to see how she can help you move through the challenges of jealousy, fear, anxiety, and insecurities in a way that strengthens your relationships, deepens your trust, and communication, and leaves you feeling confident. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/clarity-chatSupport the show

Hey friends! We're going on a journey with Nicoletta Heidegger, therapist, sexologist, and host of the "Sluts and Scholars" podcast, as we chat about the world of non-monogamy on my latest podcast episode. Nicoletta opened up about her 7-year exploration from monogamy to embracing a non-monogamous lifestyle, sharing the raw challenges she encountered along the way. From aligning with partners who share her vision to battling the need to feel "special" and dismantling a scarcity mindset, Nicoletta's story is both vulnerable and profoundly relatable.In this episode, you'll discover:Some of the joys and challenges of navigating non-monogamous relationships.Some Strategies for overcoming common hurdles in the transition to non-monogamy.The importance of building connections with seasoned individuals in the non-monogamous community.Techniques for nervous system regulation to achieve relationship harmony.The critical role of self-awareness in cultivating healthy and fulfilling relationships.Want to get in touch with Nicoletta?@SlutsonScholars@therapywithnicolettahttps://slutsscholars.libsyn.com/Resources in this episodeCheck out the book The Polyamory Paradox by Irene Mourning for insights into somatic nervous system healing and finding confidence in non-monogamy.Explore the concept of Circles of Sexuality by searching online for resources and tools to understand your sexual narrative, beliefs, and values.Learn about equine-assisted psychotherapy and its benefits by researching local therapy centers or practitioners who offer this unique form of therapy. To claim your free clarity chat with Ellecia visit https://elleciapaine.podia.com/clarity-chat Do you feel like you could use some help with your relationships? Get on a free call with Ellecia to see how she can help you move through the challenges of jealousy, fear, anxiety, and insecurities in a way that strengthens your relationships, deepens your trust, and communication, and leaves you feeling confident. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/clarity-chatSupport the show

In the depths of Orit Krug's personal journey, she discovered an unexpected truth about love and relationships. As she bravely embraced polyamory, she unearthed the transformative power of self-love in navigating the complexities of multiple partners. But just when she thought she had it all figured out, a new challenge emerged, leaving her questioning everything she thought she knew. Stay tuned as Orit's emotional narrative unfolds, revealing the unexpected twist that shifted her perspective on love and self-acceptance.In this episode, you will be able to:Explore the nuances of polyamory and non-monogamous relationships for a deeper understanding of diverse connections.Experience the transformative power of dance movement therapy in healing past traumas and unlocking emotional freedom.Master the art of navigating jealousy in polyamorous relationships to foster trust and emotional resilience.Embrace the importance of self-love in polyamory to enhance personal well-being and strengthen relationship dynamics.Cultivate a healthy connection with your body to promote self-awareness, confidence, and overall wellness.Orit Krug is an award-winning Board-Certified Dance/Movement Therapist and Licensed Creative Arts Therapist who has helped transform the lives of more than 5,000 clients for the past 13 years. Orit specializes in helping individuals & couples strengthen their relationships by working through past trauma stored in the body. As Orit practices polyamory in her own life, she uses her experience and platform to ensure that partners can safely expand beyond normal boundaries, experience deeply satisfying love, and enhance pleasure without sabotage.Want to connect with Orit? Check out her retreat  https://oritkrug.com/polyamory-retreatVisit her website https://oritkrug.com Do you feel like you could use some help with your relationships? Get on a free call with Ellecia to see how she can help you move through the challenges of jealousy, fear, anxiety, and insecurities in a way that strengthens your relationships, deepens your trust, and communication, and leaves you feeling confident. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/clarity-chatSupport the show

Do you desire emotional healing and inner peace in your non-monogamous relationship journey? My guest today will be revealing the key to finding forgiveness and experiencing profound emotional growth. Unlocking the pathway to inner peace and healing is within your reach, and Daisy Sky will show you how to achieve this transformation.Daisy Sky, a seasoned practitioner of polyamory, has been exploring non-monogamous relationships for over a decade. Describing herself as a chaotic femme, she infuses her gender expression with an element of delightful disorder. Daisy Sky's journey into polyamory began in her junior year of high school, and since then, she has embraced a relationship anarchy approach. Throughout her experience, she has been an advocate for open communication, mindfulness, and mental health. Daisy Sky's willingness to share her experiments with monogamy and her ultimate return to a more open way of loving, founded on personal sovereignty and ethical fulfillment, offers a unique and insightful perspective on the challenges and rewards of non-monogamous relationships.In this episode: Embrace the beauty of polyamorous relationships and their unique dynamics.Discover effective strategies for navigating multiple relationships with grace and understanding.Overcome scarcity mindset in relationships and cultivate abundance and fulfillment.Join a transformative non-monogamy coaching program for support and guidance.Explore the forgiveness process and experience deep emotional healing in relationships.Want to connect with Daisy Sky?Instagram @Theforgivenessdoula Do you feel like you could use some help with your relationships? Get on a free call with Ellecia to see how she can help you move through the challenges of jealousy, fear, anxiety, and insecurities in a way that strengthens your relationships, deepens your trust, and communication, and leaves you feeling confident. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/clarity-chatSupport the show

If you're feeling suffocated by societal expectations and constantly striving to fit in, then you are not alone! You may already be sacrificing your true self in order to please others, only to find that it's still not enough. You may be experiencing a constant sense of dissatisfaction, despite following the rules and norms that society has set for you. It's time to break free from the cycle of conformity and embrace your unique identity, because the result you're seeking is not found in conformity.My guest, Sandra Possing, is an advocate for living authentically and embracing non-conformity and the host of the podcast "Oh Hi, Self". With a wealth of personal experience, Sandra has dedicated her life to helping others break free from societal expectations and live on their own terms. Her mission is to empower individuals to create relationships and lifestyles that align with their true selves. Through her open and honest approach, she aims to normalize unconventional relationship dynamics and inspire others to explore beyond traditional boundaries. Sandra's candid and relatable insights make her a valuable voice in the journey towards authenticity and self-discovery.In this episode, we talk about:Embracing Non-Monogamy Living Unconventionally Normalizing Open Relationships Radical Honesty and Boundaries Embracing Change and Permission to Explore Surprising Challenges: Dealing with Jealousy Navigating Jealousy and Self-Judgment  Unleashing Inner Feminine Power Honoring Emotions Cathartic Movement and Communication Unique Path in Sexuality Embracing Authenticity and Self-Exploration Relaxing into Who You Are Embracing Wholeness and Inner Peace Permission to Explore and Embrace Unconventional Paths Want to Connect with Sandra?www.sandrapossing.com Do you feel like you could use some help with your relationships? Get on a free call with Ellecia to see how she can help you move through the challenges of jealousy, fear, anxiety, and insecurities in a way that strengthens your relationships, deepens your trust, and communication, and leaves you feeling confident. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/clarity-chatSupport the show