Podcasts about child specialist

In this conversation, Jen Peters and Lawrence Joss explore the complexities of trauma, healing, and the importance of inner child work. They discuss how unresolved trauma affects relationships, the significance of reparenting oneself, and the role of forgiveness in the healing process. The conversation emphasizes the power of personal agency in healing and the impact of individual work on family dynamics. Jen shares practical steps for reconnecting with one's inner child and highlights the importance of community support in the healing journey.Key TakeawaysRecognizing that others act out of their own unresolved trauma can provide insight into their behavior.Healing is a personal journey that does not require closure from others.Our partners often reflect our own inner child wounds, which can complicate relationships.Understanding our attachment styles can help us navigate relationships more effectively.Reparenting involves becoming the nurturing figure we needed in childhood.Forgiveness is about recognizing that we did the best we could at the time.We have the power to change our lives by addressing our core wounds.Community support is essential for healing and personal growth.Inner child work can lead to profound changes in family dynamics.Healing is an ongoing process that requires patience and self-compassion.Chapters00:00 - Understanding Trauma and Healing05:07 - The Role of Inner Child Work09:57 - Attachment Styles and Relationships14:47 - Reparenting and Forgiveness19:54 - Success Stories in Healing24:59 - Resources and Community SupportHere's the link to the free e-book PDF entitled "Coming Home":https://jen-peters.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Coming_Home_-_The_Path_to_Healing_Your_Inner_Child_-_Digital_version-2.pdfComing Home shares my personal story, including a 14-year narcissistic/codependent marriage, the breakdown of that relationship, and the profound healing journey that followed.Beyond my story, Coming Home is a comprehensive guide to trauma healing. It offers step-by-step processes for addressing and healing the 12 primary inner child trauma themes, all using my signature method - the Jen Peters Multidimensional Healing System.If you wish to connect with Lawrence Joss or any of the PA-A community members who have appeared as guests on the podcast:Email-      familydisappeared@gmail.comLinktree: https://linktr.ee/lawrencejoss(All links mentioned in the podcast are available in Linktree)Please donate to support PAA programs:https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=SDLTX8TBSZNXSThis podcast is made possible by the Family Disappeared Team:Anna Johnson- Editor/Contributor/Activist/Co-hostGlaze Gonzales- Podcast ManagerConnect with Lawrence Joss:Website: https://parentalalienationanonymous.com/Email- familydisappeared@gmail.com

Kate Alcamo is a Licensed Clinical Marriage & Family Therapist and founder of Family Therapy Center of Bethesda and Fairwinds Counseling Group where she provides therapy to teens and adults around issues of anxiety, relationships, and divorce. Kate is also a trained Collaborative Divorce professional and serves as Child Specialist in Collaborative cases. She has extensive experience working with children and families around issues of separation, divorce, and blended families.Hallie is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Bethesda. Hallie frequently works in the divorce realm, as a custody evaluator, mediator, parent coordinator, parent coach, and therapist. Additionally, Hallie also provides individual therapy to adults through psychodynamically informed therapy. She also acts in an evaluative capacity for a number of local agencies (social security disability, international adoptions, various forensic evaluations).Learn more at:https://www.thecoparentcollective.com/Follow them on IG @thecoparentcollectivehttps://www.instagram.com/thecoparentcollective/Follow Robin on Insight Timer:https://insighttimer.com/robinsmith--Become a supporter on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therobinsmithshowGet in touch: robinsmithshow@gmail.comCall the hotline: +1 (301) 458-0883Got a question? We'd love to hear from you!

In this conversation, Jen Peters, an inner child expert, discusses the significance of inner child work in healing trauma and understanding adult behaviors. The dialogue explores how childhood experiences shape adult relationships, the empowerment found in healing, and the importance of recognizing and addressing deep-seated wounds. The conversation also touches on parental alienation, estrangement, and the role of parents in influencing their children's emotional well-being. Jen emphasizes the need for self-love and reparenting as essential components of the healing journey.Key TakeawaysMost struggles in adulthood stem from childhood events.Inner child work connects us with parts of ourselves needing support.Healing is an empowerment process, not about blame.Patterns in relationships often reflect childhood wounds.Access points for inner child work include therapy and self-guided practices.Multiple inner children can exist, each carrying different traumas.Healing trauma can lead to emotional detachment from past events.Parental relationships significantly influence children's emotional health.Womb trauma can have lasting effects on individuals.Self-love is crucial for healing and empowerment.Chapters00:00 - Understanding Inner Child Work02:55 - The Impact of Childhood on Adulthood05:46 - Empowerment Through Inner Child Healing09:04 - Patterns in Relationships and Responsibility11:51 - Access Points for Inner Child Work15:07 - Exploring Different Stages of Inner Child17:56 - Healing Trauma and Emotional Responses21:08 - The Role of Parents in Shaping Wounds23:54 - Navigating Parental Alienation and Estrangement27:00 - The Depth of Womb Trauma30:08 - The Spiritual Aspect of Healing33:00 - Reparenting and Self-LoveIf you wish to connect with Lawrence Joss or any of the PA-A community members who have appeared as guests on the podcast:Email-      familydisappeared@gmail.comLinktree: https://linktr.ee/lawrencejoss(All links mentioned in the podcast are available in Linktree)Please donate to support PAA programs:https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=SDLTX8TBSZNXSThis podcast is made possible by the Family Disappeared Team:Anna Johnson- Editor/Contributor/Activist/Co-hostGlaze Gonzales- Podcast ManagerConnect with Lawrence Joss:Website: https://parentalalienationanonymous.com/Email- familydisappeared@gmail.com

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Australia is expected to experience an extremely hot summer with the likelihood of bushfires in the coming months. It is anticipated that the heatwave will be particularly challenging for children between the ages of 0-5 years. Common health issues that may arise include rashes, heatstroke, and diarrhoea. Associate Professor Dr Habib Bhurawala, Head of Paediatrics at Nepean Hospital, advises that while it is essential to protect children from the sun, it's important not to over-cover them or their prams.

Brought to you by⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠OurFamilyWizard⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Join more than 1 million parents & family law professionals who trust⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠OurFamilyWizard⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. *** Kathleen Shack is an experienced Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Gottman Couples Therapist, Certified Discernment Counselor, Collaborative Divorce Coach, Child Specialist and Registered Divorce Mediator. She is the Founder and CEO of Family Solutions Counseling, LLC. Follow Guest: Kathleen Shack

Kathleen Shack is an experienced Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Gottman Couples Therapist, Certified Discernment Counselor, Collaborative Divorce Coach, Child Specialist and Registered Divorce Mediator. She is the Founder and CEO of Family Solutions Counseling, LLC. Follow Guest: Kathleen Shack

In episode 72 of the Pooch Parenting Podcast, I share brief stories of 4 recent clients so you can see examples of the types of people who choose to work with a dog and child specialist.Lots of dog trainers are generalists who have skills that can help you a little bit with a lot of challenging situations.But if you have a specific challenge, such as living with kids and dogs at the same time, a generalist might not be the answer.Instead, seeing a dog and child specialist is the way to go.You are familiar with using specialists. If you had a baby, you had an OB. If you needed support with breastfeeding, you worked with a lactation consultant. If your child had a tongue tie, you saw a specialized doctor to release it.So why wouldn't you want to work with a specialist if you wanted to prepare your dog for new baby or if your dog growled at your toddler. Or maybe you want to add the "right fit dog" to your family with kids.Can you relate? If so, I'm here for you.Thank you for listening! Want to learn more about Pooch Parenting and how we can help you? If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review on Apple Podcasts. Looking for QUICK dog and parenting tips? Sign up for my free on-demand summit.

What happens when the mother doesn't feel an instant bond with the baby? It happens more than we want to admit to. After all, in the months after birth the little squish does little more than eat, sleep and dirty their diapers. Jacqueline gives some guidance on what it might look like to have trouble bonding, what babies are capable of in those early months in bonding with you and when to seek help.   Teacher Training June 24-25 HERE Roll It Out Registration Order your copy, ebook or audio book of UNDERSTANDING AERIAL SILKS on Amazon Get the FREE 3-Part Video Series Aerial REHAB  Register for the FREE Mini Course HERE Reach me on Instagram @kerrywee1 kerry@wrapyourheadaroundsilks.com Greener Grass Podcast HERE Part of the Digitent Podcast NetworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Divorce is never easy for anyone in the family, especially young children. In this episode of “Dignified Divorce,” sit down with Kim Ciesinski, leader in Matrimonial Law, as she dives into a conversation surrounding how divorce affects children. Special guest and Child Specialist, Ann Levinson, shares great tips and tricks for tackling the lasting influence that this great life change can have on the young mind. Be sure to listen to the full episode for resources, helpful hints, and bits of wisdom from two industry experts!

Refiloe speaks to Psychiatrist & Board member of the SA Society of Psychiatrists, Dr Alicia Porter on the concerns around the lack of child specialist and adolescent psychiatrists in the country, in light of news that SA only has approximately 30 specialist child and adolescent psychiatrists, most in private practice where access is limited by affordability, while state-funded specialist child and adolescent mental health facilities are only available in Gauteng.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We're excited to welcome Dr. Honey Sheff to the Texas Family Law Insiders podcast today. Dr. Sheff is a licensed Clinical Psychologist with over 40 years of clinical experience and an expertise in family issues. She holds a Graduate Certificate Degree in Dispute Resolution. 95% of her practice is family law related, where she serves in the roles of a neutral Mental Health Professional and Child Specialist, provides counseling services, and acts as a parenting coordinator.  Dr. Sheff says, “Collaborative divorce is aimed at helping couples reach customized solutions to restructure their families as they move forward post-divorce.”In this episode we are taking a deep dive into the mental health aspects of collaborative divorce, plus how family law attorneys can borrow the tools from collaborative divorce for traditional litigation to empower couples and help families move forward. Listen to learn: What a successful collaborative client looks like from a mental health professional's perspective How a mental health professional can be an asset in any divorce The role of the child specialist in family law cases How to use the number one tool in collaborative divorce for better outcomes in all your cases And more

Today's guest is Karen Bonnell! From her website: Karen has over 30 years of experience working with couples and families facing transition, loss, growth and change. A graduate of the University of Michigan, she served on the faculty of University of Michigan, Eastern Michigan University & Seattle Pacific University before beginning full-time private practice in 1984. In 2021, she brought her psychiatric nursing career to a close, and now focuses strictly on coaching and mediation. She regularly writes for, speaks to and trains health care and legal professionals. Karen's work as a Collaborative Divorce Coach spurred her determination to write “The Co-Parenting Handbook” with Kristin Little, Child Specialist. Parents learn the best ways to support their children, strengthen their co-parenting, and discover the necessary tools to skillfully create a two-home family. “The Parenting Plan Workbook” followed with contributor Felicia Malsby Soleil, JD. Karen and Felicia built a workbook and four-plus hours of coaching seminars (The Parenting Plan Workbook Video Series), which provide valuable access to the mechanics behind writing a strong, child-centered parenting plan. And most recently, Karen and Patricia Papernow, PhD released the newest handbook for parents ready to date and hoping to one day successfully create stepfamily, “The Stepfamily Handbook: From Dating, to Getting Serious, to Forming a ‘Blended Family'”. Quotes: "Teens are looking to get rid of the parents they've got; they're not shopping for more!" "A second-time family is a very different architecture than a first-time family." "If we don't do this well, the people who are going to suffer are the kids." "The truth without compassion can be abusive." "Stepparents are additive, not substitutes." Resources: The Stepfamily Handbook https://www.amazon.com/Stepfamily-Handbook-Getting-Serious-Forming/dp/172085520X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1542034223&sr=8-1&keywords=the+stepfamily+handbook&dpID=41lRp0ntBjL&preST=_SY344_BO1,204,203,200_QL70_&dpSrc=srch The Co-Parenting Handbook https://www.amazon.com/Co-Parenting-Handbook-Well-Adjusted-Resilient-Separation/dp/1632171465/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1501711469&sr=8-1&keywords=9781632171467 The Parenting Plan Workbook https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Plan-Workbook-Comprehensive-Child-Centered/dp/1632171457/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1501713041&sr=1-1&keywords=the+parenting+plan+workbook Karen Bonnell on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/user/karenbonnell

What do you do when life knocks you down? Do you become a rubber ball, a cement ball, or a glass ball? Meet my dear friend Rena Gombo, certified Mental Health Counselor and Child Specialist. She sits down with me to talk about what it means to be resilient and it somewhat has to do with rubber, glass, and cement. You'll see what I mean when you listen to the episode… Rena explains why she became a mental health counselor and shares her experience battling breast cancer. She was diagnosed eight years ago and it continues to impact her life and the lives of those around her. This interview was recorded and is being released during a challenging time in my life, but it gave me the life force and Chizuk I needed to continue going on. Thank you Rena Gombo for inspiring me with your strength and hopeful attitude. I know that your story will inspire others. This show is dedicated in the merit of the speedy and complete recovery of my mom Rachel bat Chana and my friend Rachel bat Liora. Enjoy the show. •This episode can also be found on https://linktr.ee/coach.kk. •If you enjoyed this episode, please hit the SUBSCRIBE button, leave a REVIEW, and SHARE with people who would be interested! Also please feel free to REACH OUT with feedback and questions! I truly appreciate it ❤️. *To find out more about what I do, you can find me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coach.kk/. Email: Soulsessionswithkk@gmail.com

In this week's episode, Host Susan Guthrie is joined by Child Specialist, Kathleen Zumpano, who is an expert and pioneer in techniques and methods for safely bringing the voices of children into the divorce process. Divorce professionals the world over shudder at the thought of children being put in the middle of their parents' divorces.  We have nightmares about that question, "Which parent do you want to live with?" so for ages the prevailing wisdom has been to keep the children as far from the courtroom and professionals as possible, but then aren't they somewhat lost in the process?  Kathleen Zumpano, MA, LMFT believes passionately that the voices of children should be heard when divorce affects truly every aspect of their lives - BUT IT MUST DONE SAFELY!  Kathleen specializes in child-inclusive mediation, which includes individual, private meetings with the children, to ensure that feedback given to parents includes the child's own experiences and feelings.  She shares important insights and information on this child centered process that will open your mind, and your heart, to the possibilities! This is a very important episode for all parents going through divorce AND the professionals who assist them! SPECIAL GIFT:  To download copies of Kathleen's FREE resource on “The Voice of the Child” and “A Child's Experience” visit her website at www.kathleenzumpano.com! FOR DIVORCE PROFESSIONALS:  Kathleen will be holding a special workshop on The Voice of the Child: Bringing the Voices of Children into the Divorce Process on October 21, 2021 - JOIN US! This workshop will introduce participants to the best practices of incorporating a child's voice into divorce proceedings to improve outcomes for families and without putting children in the middle. There are prevailing international protocols for working with children, this workshop will provide an overview of research, as well as introduce participants to tools for screening parents, determining the level of involvement of the child, how information is elicited and how to prepare parents to hear feedback and information regarding their child/ren. Find out more and Register HERE: https://mostenguthrie.com/voice-of-the-child ************************************************ More Information About This Week's Special Guest:  Kathleen Zumpano, MA, MFT is a former marriage and family therapist, who currently works as a  child specialist, family mediator and divorce coach. She has dedicated more than 15 years to helping families transition in a child-focused way. Her specialties are high-conflict and complex dynamics including resist and refuse as well as children under the age of five. She has a private practice physically based in Portland, Oregon, but helps families across the country with online services. Kathleen is a contributing author in Mosten and Cordover's 2018 ABA Published book Building Successful Collaborative Law Practice (2018). Kathleen authored a chapter on use of child specialists in collaborative law. She is also a co-author of “Commentary on Interdisciplinary Teamwork in Family Law” published in the July 2018 Issue of the Family Court Review. Contact Kathleen Zumpano: Website  www.kathleenzumpano.com Social Media Handles  Instagram - @kathleenzumpano ********************** MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST: SUSAN GUTHRIE®, ESQ., the creator and host of The Divorce and Beyond® Podcast, is nationally recognized as one of the top family law and divorce mediation attorneys in the country.  Susan is a member of the Executive Council of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution and is the Founder of Divorce in a Better Way® which provides a curated selection of resources and information for those facing divorce and other life changes.  Internationally renowned as one of the leading experts in online mediation, Susan created her Learn to Mediate Online® program and has trained more than 18,000 professionals in how to transition their practice online.  Susan recently partnered with legal and mediation legend, Forrest "Woody" Mosten to create the Mosten Guthrie Academy which provides gold standard, fully online training for mediation and collaborative professionals at all stages of their career.   ***************************************************************************** THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSOR: Thriving in divorce and beyond means not having to worry about the safety of your children when it comes to co-parenting. With alcohol abuse on the rise, many co-parents are turning to the system committed to providing proof, protection, and peace of mind. Soberlink's alcohol monitoring system is the most convenient, reliable, and reasonable way for a parent to provide evidence that they are not drinking during parenting time. Soberlink's real-time alerts, facial recognition, and tamper detection ensure the integrity of each test, so you can be confident your kids are with a sober parent. With Soberlink, judges rest assured that your child is safe, attorneys get court-admissible evidence of sobriety, and both parents have empowerment and peace of mind. Pull back the curtain on the mysteries of parenting time and trust The Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to keep you informed and your kids safe and secure. To download the addiction and children resource page that I developed with Soberlink, visit www.Soberlink.com/Susan   *************************************************************************************************** CHECK OUT THE NEW RESOURCE PAGE ON THE WEBSITE WITH DIVORCE & BEYOND RECOMMENDED READING!   Remember, knowledge is power and we have the books that will help educate you and support you in all areas of divorce including finance, parenting, healing, conflict resolution and MORE!  Check it out now on the website:  www.divorceandbeyondpod.com/beyond-reading *************************************** JOIN US IN THE DIVORCE & BEYOND MEMBERS ONLY COMMUNITY! D & B Members Only will receive a number of benefits including: Ad and Interruption Free Podcast Archive BONUS Members Only Podcast Episodes monthly Downloadable Worksheets, Spreadsheets and Other Forms  Access to the "Ask Susan Anything" Forum where you can ask your questions and learn from the answers to others. AND MUCH MORE - REGISTER NOW! ***************************************************************************** SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE! If you would like to sponsor the show please reach out to us at  divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com for pricing and details!!! ********************************************************************* Remember to follow Susan Guthrie and THE DIVORCE AND BEYOND PODCAST on social media for updates and inside tips and information: Susan Guthrie on Facebook @susanguthrieesq Susan on Instagram @susanguthrieesq Susan on Twitter @guthrielaw If you want to see the video version of the podcast episodes they are available on The Divorce & Beyond YouTube Channel!  Make sure to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss a single episode! Finally, we'd really appreciate it if you would  give us a 5 Star Rating and tell us what you like about the show in a review - your feedback really matters to us!  You can get in touch with Susan at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com.  Don't forget to visit the webpage www.divorceandbeyondpod.com and sign up for the free NEWSLETTER to receive a special welcome video from Susan and more!! ***************************************************************************** DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM

This week on Maximum Mom your host Elise Buie joined Kristin Little, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Collaborative Divorce Child Specialist and has provided therapy for children and families for 20 plus years. She is the contributing author of "The Coparenting Handbook" with Collaborative Divorce Coach Karen Bonnell and the Author of “No More Us; Navigating a Divorce or Separation You Didn't Want”. She is also an active member and certified trainer for the International Association of Collaborative Professionals and serves as a board member of King County Collaborative Law. Her work as a Child Specialist, emphasizes the benefits of supporting parents in creating child-centered solutions in divorce and post divorce co-parenting support to create safe, positive, and resilient two-home families. In addition to her work in divorce, Kristin maintains a private psychotherapy practice in Seattle.Watch the interview here.Subscribe to Maximum Mom on your favorite podcast player so you never miss an episode!

Allison J. Bell, Psy.D. - Co-Parenting Communication with Host, Rosalind Sedacca, Divorce Coach, Divorce, Dating & Empowered Living Show. WGSN-DB Going Solo Network, Radio, TV & Podcasts - #1 Internet Singles Talk Network (www.goingsolomedia.com)A bit about Dr. Bell...ALLISON J. BELL, Psy.D. has a doctoral degree in Clinical Psychology from Yeshiva University. She also holds a Master's degree in dance/movement therapy from Hunter College. She has been in private practice in Westchester County, N.Y. since 1987, and is specialty-trained in child psychology, neuropsychological evaluation of children and marital therapy. She has an additional office in Northampton, MA. Since 1997, Dr. Bell has performed forensic custody evaluations in both Family and Supreme Courts in the southern New York State region and testified as an expert witness. She also performs parenting evaluations, bonding assessments, and testifies throughout Western Massachusetts. Dr. Bell is certified to practice EMDR with victims of trauma, and performed critical incident stress debriefings for victims of 9/11 around New York City. In her 33+ years of clinical practice, Dr. Bell has lectured widely throughout Westchester County, including teaching at the Judicial Institute in Westchester. She has been an advocate for children with special educational needs in many school districts throughout the county.Currently, Dr. Bell is a member of Collaborative Practice Associations in New York and Massachusetts: the Hudson Valley Collaborative Divorce and Dispute Resolution Association, the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, the Academy of Professional Family Mediators and the Massachusetts Collaborative Law Council. Dr. Bell serves as both a Divorce Coach and a neutral Child Specialist on Interdisciplinary practice teams, and trains other practitioners of Collaborative Divorce. Dr. Bell is also a founding member of the New York Civil Collaborative Group. She has completed the Program for Senior Executives at the Harvard Program on Negotiation and completed her training as a Mediator through the Center for Understanding in Conflict, along with additional advanced training hours in mediation. She is a founding member of the New York Chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts and a charter member of the Forensic Division of the New York State Psychological Association.Dr. Bell has made television and radio appearances on local cable access networks in Westchester, Long Island, and MA, and appeared on the CBS Early Show in August of 2007 with her former husband, advocating for Collaborative Divorce on a program called “Reconcilable Differences”. She has lectured numerous times at the annual International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) Forum on child development, collaborative practice issues, gender bias in negotiation and neuroscience. In 2012, the NYCCG made a video for Westlaw continuing legal education, in which Dr. Bell is featured, depicting the use of interdisciplinary collaborative practice in settling employment cases.Dr. Bell periodically blogs about the myriad ways in which people navigate their journey through divorce. In addition, Dr. Bell has spent most of her life dancing and teaching movement to non-dancers. Her blogs about the art of movement in everyday life can be found on her website. ​Email:drallibell@gmail.com​Website: collabdivorce-ny.com (HVCDDRA)collaborativepractice.com (IACP)drallisonbell.com (Blog)

Do you feel like you and your ex treat parenting as a competitive sport? Nurturing and supporting children while going through a divorce can be difficult, but creating mutual understanding and respect between us and the other parent is critical for a peaceful transition from one household to two. What does the ideal co-parenting situation look like? Who should have the final say in where and how our children live? Before we’re able to create a plan that works for all members of the family, it’s important to agree upon and define what co-parenting looks like to everyone involved. In this episode, Karen Bonnell discusses her nearly 30 years of experience helping families transition into co-parenting plans that cultivate child-centered parenting. Three Things You’ll Love About This Episode: Understand the true definition of co-parenting While getting along is always ideal, co-parenting focuses on respect, clarity, and mutual understanding. Parenting doesn’t have to feel like a competition It’s important to teach our children to communicate their needs to both parents and to avoid leaning into behaviors that establish an “alliance” attitude. Taking time to learn how to solo parent is normal - and encouraged It’s okay to give ourselves a little room to learn how to navigate parenting on our own terms. Part of co-parenting is having confidence in our own decisions and empowering our children to make their needs known. Those skills don’t evolve overnight and might take a little practice - time is essential to mastery. A graduate of the University of Michigan, Karen has been board-certified and licensed as an Advanced Registered Nurse Practitioner since 1982 and served on the faculty of University of Michigan, Eastern Michigan University & Seattle Pacific University before beginning full-time private practice in 1984.   Karen’s work as a Collaborative Divorce Coach spurred her determination to write “The Co-Parenting Handbook” “ with Kristin Little, Child Specialist.   Parents learn the best ways to support their children, strengthen their co-parenting, and discover the necessary tools to skillfully create a two-home family.   Karen also created “The Parenting Plan Workbook” with contributor Felicia Malsby Soleil, JD to provide valuable access to the mechanics behind writing a strong, child-centered parenting plan.   And most recently, Karen and Patricia Papernow (PAP-ER-NOW), PhD released the newest handbook for parents ready to date and hoping to one day successfully create a stepfamily, “The Stepfamily Handbook: From Dating, to Getting Serious, to Forming a ‘Blended Family’”.   Her deep listening skills make all the difference working with co-parent pairs in conflict as they find their way through the pain of divorce into a future with optimism. Karen's website:  CoachMediateConsult.com (she has two free downloads there) Twitter.com/Karenbonnellcmc linkedin.com/in/karenbonnell/ facebook.com/karenbonnellcmc

This week on Maximum Mom your host Elise Buie joined Karen Bonnell. Karen has over 30 years of experience working with couples and families facing transition, loss, growth and change. A graduate of the University of Michigan, Karen has been board certified and licensed as an Advanced Registered Nurse Practitioner since 1982. Karen's work as a Collaborative Divorce Coach spurred her determination to write “The Co-Parenting Handbook” “ with Kristin Little, Child Specialist. Parents learn the best ways to support their children, strengthen their co-parenting, and discover the necessary tools to skillfully create a two-home family.As a teacher, trainer, facilitator, Karen played an instrumental role in developing the year-long facilitator training program for the Compassionate Listening Project. As a certified Compassionate Listening trainer, Karen utilizes this heart-centered approach to authentic speaking and capable listening used around the world in high-conflict situations such as Israel/Palestine. Her deep listening skills make all the difference working with co-parent pairs in conflict as they find their way through the pain of divorce into a future with optimism.To keep on maximizing your firm, stay connected!Facebook GroupFacebook PageYouTube channelLinkedInGuildSubscribe to Maximum Mom on your favorite podcast player so you never miss an episode!

In this episode, Steph interviews Karen Bonell, Collaborative Divorce Coach and author of “The Co-Parenting Handbook” on the topic of co-parenting. They discuss ways parents can support their children, strengthen their co-parenting, and discover necessary tools to create a two-home family. Karen provides a roadmap, answers, and tools to ensure kids and co-parents thrive. If you’re in the middle of a divorce or have been divorced for years, you’ll find Karen’s guidance reassuring and learn how to move forward with confidence and optimism. If you know someone who is finding their way through divorce and has come to you for help, send them a link to this episode.   Topics Discussed:  Key steps parents can take to reduce the impact of separation/divorce The “best age” to initiate divorce What to do if you can’t co-parent with your spouse How to figure out what's best for your kids when planning their two-home future Where to start with navigating finances and major decisions Who to have on your team to navigate this process Advice for friends/family members Show Notes:  Karen’s Website Follow Karen on Facebook here Follow Karen on Twitter here Listen to today's episode on our website   Guest Bio:  Karen has over 30 years of experience working with couples and families facing transition, loss, growth and change. A graduate of the University of Michigan, Karen has been board certified and licensed as an Advanced Registered Nurse Practitioner since 1982. She served on the faculty of University of Michigan, Eastern Michigan University & Seattle Pacific University before beginning full-time private practice in 1984. She regularly writes for, speaks to and trains health care and legal professionals. Karen’s work as a Collaborative Divorce Coach spurred her determination to write “The Co-Parenting Handbook” “ with Kristin Little, Child Specialist. Parents learn the best ways to support their children, strengthen their co-parenting, and discover the necessary tools to skillfully create a two-home family.   INTRODUCE YOURSELF to Steph and Dr. Elana on Instagram. They can’t wait to meet you! @stephgreunke @drelanaroumell

Allison J. Bell, Psy.D. - Co-Parenting Communication with Host, Rosalind Sedacca, Divorce Coach, Divorce, Dating & Empowered Living Show. WGSN-DB Going Solo Network, Radio, TV & Podcasts - #1 Internet Singles Talk Network (www.goingsolomedia.com)A bit about Dr. Bell...ALLISON J. BELL, Psy.D. has a doctoral degree in Clinical Psychology from Yeshiva University. She also holds a Master's degree in dance/movement therapy from Hunter College. She has been in private practice in Westchester County, N.Y. since 1987, and is specialty-trained in child psychology, neuropsychological evaluation of children and marital therapy. She has an additional office in Northampton, MA. Since 1997, Dr. Bell has performed forensic custody evaluations in both Family and Supreme Courts in the southern New York State region and testified as an expert witness. She also performs parenting evaluations, bonding assessments, and testifies throughout Western Massachusetts. Dr. Bell is certified to practice EMDR with victims of trauma, and performed critical incident stress debriefings for victims of 9/11 around New York City. In her 33+ years of clinical practice, Dr. Bell has lectured widely throughout Westchester County, including teaching at the Judicial Institute in Westchester. She has been an advocate for children with special educational needs in many school districts throughout the county.Currently, Dr. Bell is a member of Collaborative Practice Associations in New York and Massachusetts: the Hudson Valley Collaborative Divorce and Dispute Resolution Association, the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, the Academy of Professional Family Mediators and the Massachusetts Collaborative Law Council. Dr. Bell serves as both a Divorce Coach and a neutral Child Specialist on Interdisciplinary practice teams, and trains other practitioners of Collaborative Divorce. Dr. Bell is also a founding member of the New York Civil Collaborative Group. She has completed the Program for Senior Executives at the Harvard Program on Negotiation and completed her training as a Mediator through the Center for Understanding in Conflict, along with additional advanced training hours in mediation. She is a founding member of the New York Chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts and a charter member of the Forensic Division of the New York State Psychological Association.Dr. Bell has made television and radio appearances on local cable access networks in Westchester, Long Island, and MA, and appeared on the CBS Early Show in August of 2007 with her former husband, advocating for Collaborative Divorce on a program called “Reconcilable Differences”. She has lectured numerous times at the annual International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) Forum on child development, collaborative practice issues, gender bias in negotiation and neuroscience. In 2012, the NYCCG made a video for Westlaw continuing legal education, in which Dr. Bell is featured, depicting the use of interdisciplinary collaborative practice in settling employment cases.Dr. Bell periodically blogs about the myriad ways in which people navigate their journey through divorce. In addition, Dr. Bell has spent most of her life dancing and teaching movement to non-dancers. Her blogs about the art of movement in everyday life can be found on her website. ​Email:drallibell@gmail.com​Website: collabdivorce-ny.com (HVCDDRA)collaborativepractice.com (IACP)drallisonbell.com (Blog)

Mere se Lotto interest in anti glare and blue light glasses because of the lockdown causing increased screen time for kids with home work and also adults working from home. Is this something that helps? Doctor Poonam Gupta, Eye specialist doctor, discusses this important issue with doctor Gaurav Gupta, your personal Child Specialist. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gaurav-gupta6/message

Alyson Jones is a Family Therapist, Parent Coordinator, Mediator, Collaborative Law Divorce Coach and Child Specialist. Alyson has over 25 years’ experience in the field of individual, couple, family and child therapy.

Dr Gaurav Gupta, MD, your personal Child Specialist talks about the three Ways You Can identify if you are babies fall that has led to head injury is likely to be serious and require a visit to the doctor for emergency in hospital or it is something that you can wait and watch for some time. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gaurav-gupta6/message

Dr Gaurav Gupta, your personal Child Specialist answers common questions about the coronavirus pandemic including provisions about coronavirus spread through food and groceries and about the safety of eating fruits and vegetables in this time. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gaurav-gupta6/message

There are lots of myths spreading through social media in this era of coronavirus pandemic , doctor Gaurav Gupta your personal Child Specialist tries to answer some of the common one's. In here we talk about poultry and alcohol and its relation to corona virus especially in India. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gaurav-gupta6/message

Dr Gaurav Gupta, your personal Child Specialist, discusses the pros and cons of taking the Influenza vaccination in this age of coronavirus epidemic, two reasons why it makes sense and one reason why it doesn't! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gaurav-gupta6/message

What is the difference between drops and syrup? Dr Gupta, your personal Child Specialist talks about common questions regarding child health. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gaurav-gupta6/message

Doctor Gaurav Gupta, your personal Child Specialist talks about the top three reasons why your child suddenly have abnormal enzymes like SGPT and sgpt in a blood test without having any other problems whatsoever! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gaurav-gupta6/message

Dr Gaurav Gupta, your personal Child Specialist discusses the best way to avoid pain and scarring after burns in your baby, commonly asked questions, and a viral WhatsApp video that is completely false and very dangerous! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gaurav-gupta6/message

As a holistic center to care for children, we are the Mohali based Child Care Clinic providing care that every kid needs. Our highly experienced Pediatrician work dedicatedly towards sustaining children’s health and development. Dr Prabhjeet Kaur has been consulting with MAX Hospital Mohali, Sohana Hospital, District Hospital Mohali. Dr Prabhjeet Kaur has undergone the special trainings in pediatric nutrition, pediatric counseling and breastfeeding counseling. We support both the physical and emotional wellbeing of the children and help their families to make the clinic experience positive and stress-free. Our work at Child Care Mohali is to nurture the health of every child with a kind heart, while keeping them safe as they play. So, if you are curious about the health of your child, please give us a call today.

Dr Gaurav Gupta, your personal Child Specialist discuss the recent nipah virus case in Kerala in June 2019 and the top 10 things you would NEED to know about the nipah virus, how serious is it? How can You prevent it ? Is it treatable? Why is everyone so scared about it? Where is the latest epidemic happening? How can I avoid it? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gaurav-gupta6/message

Dr Gaurav Gupta your personal Child Specialist explains about by children may have red or pink urine during the first year of their life and whether this is dangerous or not, and how to manage this problem --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gaurav-gupta6/message

Taking care of the Belly Button, Umbilical Cord in Newborn Babies -Tips from your personal Child specialist, Dr. Gaurav Gupta --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gaurav-gupta6/message

Intro: Breast milk is the best, simple cow milk formula 1. Sterilize bottle – 5 mins new bottle 2. Sterile water – 1 min 3. Making formula – level scoop 4. How much needed – 5. How frequently feeding is needed? 6. How to know if baby is hungry? 7. How do I know if the feeding is adequate? 8. Interesting question - How long can I keep formula? 9. Can I make formula and keep in fridge 10. Spitting formula – changing formula? High end formula? 11. DHA & ARA As pediatricians we always believe that breastfeeding is the best, however due to many reasons sometimes formula feeding is required, doctor Gaurav Gupta answers the most common queries about top milk, which formula to give and why --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gaurav-gupta6/message

In this episode after Gaurav Gupta your personal Child Specialist talks about the tricks and difficulties in collecting urine to rule out or confirm a urinary tract infection in your child specific concerns about small babies urine collection are also discussed --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gaurav-gupta6/message

In this episode doctor Gaurav Gupta MD your personal Child Specialist talks about the problems of giving steam inhalation to children and what are the three best alternative ways of making sure that your child gets inhalation treatment without having chances of getting burnt --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gaurav-gupta6/message

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gaurav-gupta6/message

Beth Wilner, Ph.D. is a seasoned collaborative professional whom I was privileged to learn from during my early training in the collaborative process. She is a fun, intuitive and eloquent communicator with deep experience in all aspects of the divorce process. Dr. Wilner is a licensed clinical psychologist and mediator, who has been in private...... Continue Reading →

Karen has over 30 years of experience working with couples and families facing transition, loss, growth and change.  Her work as a Collaborative Divorce Coach spurred her determination to write “The Co-Parenting Handbook” with Kristin Little, Child Specialist. Parents learn the best ways to support their children, strengthen their co-parenting, and discover the necessary tools to skillfully create a two-home family.   “The Parenting Plan Workbook” followed with contributor Felicia Malsby Soleil, JD.  And most recently,  Karen and Patricia Papernow, PhD released The Stepfamily Handbook, for parents ready to date and hoping to one day successfully create a stepfamily.    As a teacher, trainer, facilitator, Karen played an instrumental role in developing the year-long facilitator training program for the Compassionate Listening Project. As a certified Compassionate Listening trainer, Karen utilizes this heart-centered approach to authentic speaking and capable listening used around the world in high-conflict situations such as Israel/Palestine. Her deep listening skills make all the difference working with co-parent pairs in conflict as they find their way through the pain of divorce into a future with optimism.   Listen in to hear Karen share: How to parallel parent if integrated co parenting is not possible When you should see a co parent coach How to know when kids are really struggling with divorce/restructuring of family How to know when kids are ready for you to introduce new partners into your family unit What to do when your partner is not capable of co parenting How reading the Co Parent Manual can improve, and potentially save, your marriage NOW   Links Mentioned: Connect with Karen: https://coachmediateconsult.com Subscribe to Karen’s Youtube channel Karen’s Book: The Co Parenting Handbook   Thank you to our sponsors: Hourglass Cosmetics: Get free shipping with your purchase of a full sized Caution Mascara at hourglasscosmetics.com/shameless and use the promo code SHAMELESS at checkout. Katie’s Crib podcast: Check out this new podcast hosted by new mom Katie Lowes, who played Quinn on the hit show Scandal.  Check out Katie’s Crib on shondaland.com or anywhere you listen to podcasts.       

  Separation can be overwhelming for both parents and children. Sharla Schofield shares how a child specialist can help parents notice and address the needs of their children to help them thrive during a challenging time. Sharla Schofield has a B.A. in Psychology,  a B.S.W., and an M.Ed. in Counselling.  She is both a Registered Clinical Counsellor and a Registered Clinical Social Worker.  Sharla has worked as a Child and Family Therapist with specialties in trauma and anxiety for over 30 years.  The role of Child Specialist working as a Mental Health Professional in the arena of Family Law called to her 9 years ago.  Since then she has taken numerous training as a Hear the Child Reporter, a Divorce Coach, a Child Specialist and in the field of Mediation.  Her role as a Child Specialist is dear to her heart as a way to work with and support Children of Divorce. Your host, Christina Vinters, is a nationally designated Chartered Mediator on a mission to inspire and facilitate healthy family transitions. She is also a gratefully non-practicing Lawyer, Author of Pathways to Amicable Divorce and the   DIY Divorce Manual, and Peacemaking Business Consultant. Guest Links: Work Email: sharlasc@gmail.com Modern Separations Links: Website: https://www.modernseparations.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/modernseparations Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcewell Twitter: https://twitter.com/cvinters LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cvinters/

Have you ever wondered how some divorced couples make their co-parenting so seamless and cooperative? Christina interviews renowned Co-Parent Coach and author, Karen Bonnell, for tips on achieving co-parenting success. Christina Vinters is a nationally designated Chartered Mediator on a mission to inspire and facilitate healthy family transitions. She is an “ex” Divorce Lawyer (Non-Practicing Member of the Bar), Author of Pathways to Amicable Divorce, and the DIY Divorce Manual, and Peacemaking Business Consultant. Karen’s work as a Collaborative Divorce Coach spurred her determination to write “The Co-Parenting Handbook” “ with Kristin Little, Child Specialist.  Karen has over 30 years of experience working with couples and families facing transition, loss, growth and change. A graduate of the University of Michigan, Karen has been board certified and licensed as an Advanced Registered Nurse Practitioner since 1982. She served on the faculty of University of Michigan, Eastern Michigan University & Seattle Pacific University before beginning full-time private practice in 1984. She regularly writes for, speaks to and trains healthcare and legal professionals. As a certified Compassionate Listening trainer, Karen utilizes this heart-centered approach to authentic speaking and capable listening used around the world in high-conflict situations such as Israel/Palestine. Her deep listening skills make all the difference working with co-parent pairs in conflict as they find their way through the pain of divorce into a future with optimism. Guest Links: Website: https://coachmediateconsult.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pg/karenbonnellcmc/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/karenbonnellcmc  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karenbonnell Modern Separations Links: Website: https://www.modernseparations.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/modernseparations Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcewell Twitter: https://twitter.com/cvinters LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cvinters Episode Transcript   Christina: Today I have the privilege of talking to Karen Bonnell, one of the leading experts in North America on co-parenting. Karen is a registered nurse practitioner, as well as a mediator, divorce coach, and co-parenting coach. She's the author of the widely-read and respected Co-Parents' Handbook, which is recently been republished as The Co-Parenting Handbook. She's passionate about helping parents be the best co-parents they can be. I think you'll find she's incredibly warm and encouraging, and you'll get a lot out of this discussion. Here we go. Christina: Good morning, Karen! Thank you so much for being here with me today. Karen: Christina, it's my pleasure. Christina: I am really thrilled to have you here because I love that your focus is on helping parents focus on the best interest of the children. Why don't you start by telling us a bit about yourself – how you got in the field of divorce, and what exactly is a parent coach? Karen: Wow, OK. Kind of a big question. So, Christina you might already know that I'm a nurse by training, and one of the hallmarks for nurses is really looking at a person's health, a family's health, or community's health holistically. And so my background really set me up for looking at families who are going through transition enormous lies on change, in a very holistic way. Which is to say that in order for a family to be healthy, all members of the family need to be tended to. So as I went through my own two-home family, family restructuring many, many years ago, before co-parent coaching was available,  I realized that without that support, without that education, that understanding, it made that transition much harder than it needed to be. So shortly thereafter, I got involved in a collaborative law community which is where I cut my teeth on divorce coaching, which led me headlong and heart-full into co-parent coaching. So a co-parent coach is someone who walks alongside parents from the moment they realize they may need to separate through their divorce and then hoist their divorce process to ensure that kids are well cared for; they become the strongest, most skilful parents they can be. Even as they come to a close with their intimate partnership. Christina: That makes so much sense. The systemic approach that you've taken and how that transition from nursing happened and make so much sense in this context. Yeah, I agree. You can't have a family functioning well if one or two parts of it are experiencing trauma or just stressed in general. Karen: Well, our floundering in the fear of uncertainty or really encourage to be adversaries in this system wherein the end of the day, we still need a parenting team to raise healthy children. So that whole risk of that litigation model for families is very real. Christina: For sure, and I will be doing an episode specifically on collaborative law, but for listeners who may not have a chance to listen to that particular episode, can you give us just a brief summary of the collaborative law and how you fit into that process? Karen: Oh, sure. So I mostly work as a mediator, Christina, just as you do. But there are times when a family... depending on the complexity of their situation or their emotional needs or just their particular orientation, would prefer to walk through their divorce process with attorneys at their elbows.  And in a collaborative process, those attorneys are there truly as counsel; everybody is in the same room, it's fully transparent, it is a respectful process, not necessarily easy. But respectful process where all parties, all the professional people – the attorneys, the mental health professionals, like the coach, the financial neutrals sort of circle the wagons for the couple as they figure out their property settlement, as they come to decisions about how to raise their children in two homes. So it's a non-adversarial process that just ups the support from what might otherwise just be mediation. Christina: OK, and within that process, you're broaden as an expert to help with the co-parenting pace, and help them workout the logistics and communication around that? Karen: Correct. Typically, helping them go through their parenting plan worksheet and preparation for creating their state-mandated parenting, you know, contract – their parenting form. And I'm also typically helping them prepare for their financial meetings, really helping them unpack difficult emotions. So that when they walk into those business meetings, they can do that with a strong mind and a calmed heart. So, kinda both of those worlds in a collaborative process. Christina: OK, interesting! And so what are the issues that you encourage people to think about right upfront? What are the types of things that you would address at the very beginning? Karen: Right at the very beginning, I work with parents to bring their children into the room. One of the conversations that I know I can engage parents around is “Tell me about your children”. And I ask them specifically, “Tell me about being a parent to your child,” “So, what it's like to be a mom to Lucien?” “What is it like to be a dad for Michaela?” Depending on the configuration of the families, by the way of two moms, two dads, or a mom and a dad. And that way, I can really help them anchor, and I tell them specifically, everything we do from this moment forward is in the service of those little beings that I know are the center of your heart. And that includes how you learn to treat each other, how you bring this relationship – this intimate partnership or a marriage to a close. And how you renegotiate and strengthen; how you'll be a parenting team “until death do you part”? Christina: And a lot of parents I find it takes them a while to acknowledge that there will be that ongoing relationship. It seems to me quite difficult for a lot of people to wrap up the intimate relationship. But at the same time acknowledge that they really do need to work on having that constructive parenting relationship for the sake of their children. Karen: That's exactly right, and part of their resistance is often oriented around feeling forced to move too quickly into, what we might call friends as parents. And I'm very, very clear with intimate partners who are emotionally distraught, bereft, hurt, betrayed – that they may never be friends with their co-parent. And I don't need them to be friends. I need them to be respectful, and I need them to be civil and that will take time to find their way through their grief, through their hurt, through their pain. That will then allow them to be those things. In the meantime, what I want them to do is respectfully to separate. So less is more in this situation. Less communication, less back and forth, things that do need to be talked about haven't talked about in a guided setting, in a facilitated setting. Where someone can help manage the trauma, so that we're not re-traumatizing very, very tender hearts, very, very hurt people. Right? So our first step is how do we really separate so we can heal, grieve what we need to grieve – what we lost. So that we can begin to form a future where we can parent our children. Christina: Now, what will you say are your top tips that parents should really have at the forefront of their minds – specific tip? So being respectful is absolutely key. I'm thinking more tactical or strategic tips that will help them move towards a successful co-parenting plan. Karen: Step one: Choose your professionals – the people who are going to support you through your separation and your divorce. Choose professionals who are going to support you as a member of a family that's in transition. In other words, your allies don't need to champion you in this, on your co-parent. We don't need to feed that adversarial energy, OK. So choose professionals who can hold your pain while at the same time not pouring gasoline on a fire. Okay? Number one. Number two: Self-care. Self-care. Can I underline that enough? I want you to make sure you're sleeping. Please cut back on your alcohol use. Try an exercise everyday. Do what you can to be a good enough parent. Don't worry about falling apart from time to time. There are so many strong emotions that go with the losses of an intimate partnership and these changes in the family. We gotta be gentle with ourselves. So allow for that healing process. Know that there's gonna be grief. Try not to fight it. Try and work with it. OK? So that's number two. Choose your professionals wisely, do your self-care, acknowledge that there's grief. Right? The third piece, the third step is as your nervous system begins to settle down, then it's time to educate yourself about what it would mean to be co-parent. “How would I do that?” “How do I show up at curriculum night in two weeks when I know my other parent, you know my children's other parent, is gonna be there as well?” “How do I do that?” “Very practical. I can walk in the room, here's how I'll choose my seat, here's how I'll greet my co-parent, and then I'll step away.” So just recognizing that there are literally steps for how to do this that will help you heal, while simultaneously help you move forward. Christina: And I'd like to pick up on some of the terms that you used there. So you mentioned “other parent” and “my co-parent” – I'm curious, are those the words that you recommend people use to refer to each other? Using the term 'ex' which is so common in our culture is so negative. That has so many negative connotations attached to it. What are the terms that you recommend or that you find people use that sit well into.. that doesn't feel awkward? Karen: Right. So one of the first things I teach my parents who come into the office is that we're gonna begin a very active process of separating their husband-wife relationship, their spousal relationship, their intimate partnership, from their parenting. And the language that we choose really helps with that separation. You know, what we talk about is ending here is an intimate partnership, a marriage. What's not ending is that two people who became parents seven years ago, six months ago – whenever that occurred – eighteen years ago. And so I wanna help them get clearer and clearer about what are we closing up, what are we ending, what are we grieving? And what are we actually still engaged in? So I do ask my co-parent teams, don't use the term ex. How about, if you wanna identify your former spouse, how about former partner, former spouse? How about, you know sometimes we joke about 'wasbands'. But terms that are, are more endearing and less pejorative. Then some of the other terms, you know, jerk for example. Let's not use “I'm not co-parenting with a jerk”. “I'm co-parenting with my children's mother or father.” I also encourage them to reclaim just terms 'mom' and 'dad'. How many times did children of parents who are divorcing start to hear instead of “Go ask your dad” or “Go ask your mommy”, “Go ask your father” – with a  big 'your' in front of it. As if I've de-zoned that relationship, and that puts you over in a 'that' category; in “another camp”.  “Your father”, “Your mother”. And so parents actually practice that. What is it like to say “OK, when you're at home with dad...” as opposed to “When you are at your father's house...” Notice that it's not just my intonation, but my word choices that are gonna impact children. So, we start to practice. It's awkward, it's new, it's not what people do in the culture. But you know, we're helping parents reframe what their children's experiences which, over time, is much more enriching than feeling like they live in a divided home. Christina: It's amazing what a big change just one word can make. I actually hadn't heard that before and that's really eye-opening. My concept of 'dad' rather than 'your dad'. Even if you say it in a nice tone. Karen: Right. Christina: And so, what is your process for working with clients? Karen: Well, they know how to get to me... most people email and say, you know, 'we made a decision to separate, we'd like to meet with you'. They come in, we spend an introductory session just to make sure that they are clear about my process and that there's a good match – there's still a chemistry. I don't care who you are or how expert you might be. There's still chemistry you need to work with people that you feel comfortable with and feel like I can provide a trusting environment. Then we do many of the things that we've just talked about. You know, they introduce me to their children, they often bring pictures. I begin to lay the groundwork for separating, the intimate partnership from their parenting pair, their parenting team relationship. And depending on their readiness, we actually begin to talk about things like, “So if you're still living in the same home, when do you intend  to make that a two-home family?” “How do you imagine you might share your children?” So this is my language – share your children across two homes. “What are the skills you think you might need to keep their lives integrated and problem solved on their behalf?” That is part of what we'll be working through. I actually use a worksheet, it's available in the Parenting Plan Workbook, where parents talk about with each other the different options and 'why you might choose this one versus that one?', and ''how might we do the holidays in this first year too, but in yours three and beyond?' That might look quite different. So all of these is part of the psycho-education about how families adjust to a change of this magnitude. Christina: Now do you ever come across situations where one parent is interested in working with you and figuring out how to structure a positive co-parenting relationship, but the other spouse doesn't wish to participate? And if so, are you able to work with just one? Or how... do you have ways of trying to get the other parent interested in participating? Karen: Yes, I do. So just recently, I had a co-parent let me know that her co-parent's attorney didn't want her to see me. And so in that case, I ask if there was any chance that both of the attorneys – mom's attorney and dad's attorney –  will get on the phone with me just to talk about... My thought was that dad's attorney was uncertain or just simply didn't know what went on in my office. And so that would be one trick of the trade. The other is I usually can get a parent who wants to work with me to hook their other parent in by saying “Hey, she'll talk to you for free, give her a call, you can email her, here's her website, she'd be happy to give you a copy of her book, if you wanna contact her.” Like there are just things that I'll do to kind of say, Give me a chance. Just give me a minute, you don't have to work with me. Just come once. I mean that's my really big deal. Just come once. I don't need you to ever agree that you're gonna come back or that your'e gonna mediate your parenting plan with me. That's not important. But my experience is if I get them to come in once and find that out that it's actually safe, that's it's really about their kids, about that I really am neutral in terms of... You know I think sometimes dads are still afraid that working with a woman that I'll be biased toward a mom. And the fact is I have a very strong bias and I tell both parents that with these children need both their parents. And that what we know in terms of outcomes is that kids do better physically and emotionally when they have a strong and engaged relationship with both parents. It's not a competition about who's the better parent. Kids just need two good enough parents. That's what kids need. Christina: And parents must see once they go to that first meeting, they must see the immense value just right off the bat. I'm sure most people, once they realize what it's all about they go, “Oh, OK. I can see that this is gonna be really great for my kids going forward.” Karen: You know, there's a huge relief. Sometimes I have to slow down. Your listeners might not know, but I live in the Silicon Valley of the North. You know I live in the backyard of Microsoft and Amazon. And so sometimes my software engineers simply just need to be slowed down. They're all about efficiency and bullet points and box checking, and I sometimes need to spend a little time to say, “You know this is probably the most important contract that you will ever design. And you'll be living with it for, you know, however many years until their children are through college and although the contract expires in high school, at the end of high school, I really support my co-parents to really live inside a parenting plan structure until their kids are into adulthood, for their sake. So they don't fall into feelings of 'How can I meet both of my parents needs now that I'm in college?'. So sometimes it's about slowing dad down or mom down. Efficiency is really important – I know your time is extremely valuable, and just above your kids. And we're gonna find your way through it in the most efficient way possible with no corners cut. Because they deserve that. Most of the time I can get them to settle down. Christina: You've of course written the very popular book in the field, The Co-Parent's Handbook. And I see that you're now writing a new book about dating after divorce. So I'm wondering what advice do you have for parents on that topic? Karen: The new book will be out in the Spring, hopefully, that's the plan. It's called the Step-Family Handbook, and it's everything from first dates, as co-parents, to creating a step-family. And it's very, very important; a data point that most parents don't know is that the adjustment to step-family for children is actually more difficult than the divorce. And so as much as parents worry about their children during the divorce process, I really want them to understand that the transition to step-family is also an enormous, enormous adjustment. And although we, as parents, are often just so thrilled, so happy, so relieved, to be in love again, to have found a partner that's gonna walk forward with us – that's not necessarily our children's experience. And so recognizing the fears and trepidations that kids have really help guide how we introduce a new adult into their lives right from the beginning. So, that's what the new book will be about is that walk in that journey and how it skillfully pace, allowing children to recognize that we're now dating, that... what dating means, who this person is, how to build a relationship with the new adult who's not a parent? And who may be around our household in a parent-like capacity? Those are all skills and as a parent and a potentially soon-to-be-stepparent, learning that architecture and how it works is really important. Christina: Well thank you, Karen so much for sharing your wisdom with us today. What would be the best ways for our listeners to get in touch with you? Karen: The best way is by email. Just go to the website, which is coachmediatecounsult.com. There's a, you know, way to email me directly to my email address or through the website itself. Of course my phone number, I'm here in the States. People are welcome to call as well, email is a little easier. And you can follow me on Facebook and Twitter, and you know, Pinterest. So there's lots and lots of ways and I invite people to connect in any way that makes sense for them. Christina: OK, perfect! Well, Karen, thank you again for today and for all the really important work that you're doing for families. Karen: You're welcome. Thanks so much, Christina, for having me. It's really been my pleasure.

Drew Lamden, LCSW, has been in private psychotherapy practice for so many years and works  with families, adults, adolescents, children, Family Courts, and Family Attorneys. He is a Collaborative Law Coach and a Child Specialist.  He is Vice President of the Board of Directors of the Northern California Mediation Center, he is the Director of Schools Program, and provides clinical supervision for Community Institute for Psychotherapy. He also provides clinical supervision for Apple Family Center, and is Clinical Consultant to A Home Within. He has developed and conducted student and parent groups in the schools, and consults to attorneys, various schools, mental health training programs, clinics, crisis, and family court settings. He is also co-coordinator of the Marin Teen Mental Health Board. He is on the Clinical Faculty at Langley Porter, Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, UCSF. Show Notes  What to tell and not to tell the kids , general guidelines in telling the children about divorce The importance of protecting children from the harsh realities of divorce  The importance of postponing informing young children about adult issues Waiting for children to grow more mature when giving them adult info  Children don’t do as well as adults too Importance of having mindfulness over the children Importance of good communication between the divorced parents about their children’s  well-being Importance of having a business-like relationship with the co-parent Can parents tell all to their children How much time is needed to tell all  How to deal with your children’s questions Children need to feel that they are loved by both parents  Resources     alamden@alamdenlcsw.com (415) 454-0736 phone   

Parents are often wary of the role of a child specialist in the divorce process. They don’t want to put their children in a difficult position, and the divorcing couple may be under the mistaken impression that the child specialist is there to do a forensic evaluation and make custody recommendations. Rather, it is the job of a child specialist to empower the children in the collaborative process, giving voice to their needs and concerns. Dr. Lauren Behrman is a clinical psychologist, child specialist, mediator, collaborative divorce professional and parent coordinator. She has offices in White Plains, Katonah and Midtown Manhattan, where she provides divorce services that include parent coordination, co-parent counseling, neutral child specialist and divorce coach in the collaborative setting. Working in private practice since 1985, Lauren has considerable professional experience in treating children and families of divorce. She is committed to helping families facing challenges and transitions in life and relationships. Today, Lauren sits down with Katherine to address the role of a child specialist, explaining how they serve to empower children in the divorce process. She shares her process in first establishing trust with both parents before meeting with the children to get a picture of what they are experiencing. Lauren speaks to the value of giving children a voice in the collaborative process and the common concerns that come up. Listen in for insight around lowering the level of conflict during the divorce process and learn why children from low-conflict divorced families do better than children in high-conflict families that remain intact. Topics Covered The misconceptions around the role of a child specialist How the child specialist empowers children in the collaborative process The child specialist’s initial communication to develop trust with parents • Meet in-person with both parties together, then individually • Discuss how to prepare children for process How Lauren addresses the children in her role as child specialist • Speak at developmental age, stage • Develop rapport (e.g.: hobbies, teams) • Get picture of what’s affecting children How Lauren reassures kids that their concerns will be presented in a neutral way How young adults are attuned to the dynamics of their parents’ marriage How to separate your own needs from the needs of your children The value of giving children a voice in the divorce process What questions children ask Lauren during the process Why nesting only works with low-conflict, mature parents Why divorcing parents should focus on lowering the level of conflict Connect with Dr. Lauren Behrman Lauren’s Website: http://laurenbehrmanphd.com/ Email laurenbehrman@gmail.com Call (914) 288-8428 Connect with Katherine Miller The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/ Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/ Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1 The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246 Email: katherine@westchesterfamilylaw.com Call (914) 738-7765

In this episode, John interviews Lori Gephart, a psychologist from the Greater Pittsburgh area on her work as a collaborative coach.  Collaborative coaching is yet another area of practice for specially trained psychologists. Lori talks about her role as a collaborative coach in the divorce process. Skills related to collaborative coaching include helping clients identify shared interests and engage in interest-based resolution.  The collaborative coach also assists with improving communication, facilitating teamwork, providing information on marital transition, and referring for psychotherapy when needed. Lori also outlines information about training, networking, and becoming more involved in the collaborative coaching arena.   At the end of the podcast, the listener will be able to:   1. Define the role of a Collaborative Coach. 2. Identify the role of the Child Specialist. 3. Explain the additional training needed to be a collaborative coach   Click here to purchase 1 APA-approved Continuing Education credit