Bible Momming

Today's podcast is brought to you by audible - get a FREE audiobook download and 30-day free trial at www.audibletrial.com/BibleMomming . Over 180,000 titles to choose from for your iPhone, Android, Kindle or mp3 player.   This is Paula Whidden, I’m an author and pastor and I’m coming to you from my home office while it’s raining outside. I’m all bundled up because it’s chilly and I hope you are bundled up too.    In this episode of the Bible Momming podcast, we are talking about 2 little words that change our lives.    No two words can make a bigger impact on people around you and on you yourself. Those words are easy to say but tough to feel sometimes. Yet, when we embrace them and use them as often as possible, they can change our own hearts even as we say them. They can soften the hearts of others and help give us access to more peace and joy than any other two words.    These words need to be taught, we don’t say them naturally. They take practice to learn to wield well. We often use these words to reflect on being polite. We use them as a sign of courtesy, but they impact our own hearts in bigger ways than we realize.    When my daughter Rachel was around 2 yrs. old, we went to a restaurant and I was helping her to make her own order. When the food arrived,  I leaned over and told her, “Say, thank you.” She then turned to our server and said, “Thank you.” It stunned our waitress and she asked how I did that. I was puzzled. Didn’t she see me tell her to say, “thank you?”   We were teaching her these words. We all have to be taught them and practice them over and over. They don’t come naturally.   In the Bible, they are used many different times by different people in different circumstances  One time in particular stands out for me.    Daniel’s story: Nebuchadnezzar King of Babylon took over Judah. The Babylonians always conquer by taking people back to Babylon and having them integrate with the Babylonian community. From those people he wanted men specifically from the Royal family and other noble families to be brought to him.  They selected men who were strong, healthy and good-looking who were well versed in every branch of learning, who had the knowledge and good judgment. They were trained in the language and literature of Babylon for 3 years and then they would enter royal service.  Daniel was one of those men. He became a consultant to the king of Babylon. When the king needed wise counsel he called on Daniel.   Then, the King had a dream and he wanted someone to help him understand what that dream meant. He wouldn’t tell anyone the dream itself, he wanted them to know the dream and interpret it. This sounds crazy right?   When his first grouping of consultants told him that was impossible, he ordered them all to be killed. So someone comes to Daniel to cart him off to be killed and he has no idea why. When he learns about the problem, he and three other friends who also trusted God (we know them as Shadrach, Meshach and Abednago) start praying to God to have Him help them. Daniel asked the king for more time to interpret the dream and that night he had a vision that explained it all.    Of course he’s very happy to have that happen, so he praises God and thanks Him for helping them.    Daniel 2: 20-23 He said, “Praise the name of God forever and ever, for he has all wisdom and power. He controls the course of the world events, he removes kings and sets up other kings. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the scholars. he reveals deep and mysterious things and knows what lies hidden in darkness, though he is surrounded by light.  I thank and praise you, God of my ancestors, for you have given me wisdom and strength. You have told me what we asked of you and revealed to us what the king demanded.”   This makes sense. We often go to God and thank him when things go well for us.    We thank him when we get a new job.  We thank him when the car starts after it sounded like it wouldn’t.  We thank him when someone we love is kept safe from danger.    That’s the polite thing to do.    But what happens when things go wrong?   How do we talk with God when the car doesn’t start? When people we love are sick or have been harmed? When things aren’t going well? When a shooting happens at your local high school?   For me, I’m tempted to whine a lot. I complain, or I ask why me or why them. But life isn’t just full of the good times. It comes with hard times.    No one escapes that.    Even Jesus got into uncomfortable positions. Even Jesus had people die who were close to him. Imagine how he felt when he heard that his cousin John the Baptist had been beheaded.    If he faced those challenges, we all will. It makes sense. So, then I wonder if being thankful is something God wants us to do because it’s the polite thing to do or if there’s more to it.  We are going to talk more about this in a moment but I wanted to make sure you know that For you, the listeners of Bible Momming podcast, Audible is offering a free audiobook download with a free 30-day trial to give you the opportunity to check out their service.   I’m currently listening to Unleashing the Power of the Female brain by Dr. Amen. And if you haven’t heard the Harry Potter series on audiobook, it’s amazing.  To download your free audiobook today go to audibletrial.com/BibleMomming. There are certainly polite verses in the Bible.   Psalm 7:17 I will thank the Lord because he is just; I will sing praise to the name of the Lord Most High.   Psalm 139:14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.   But then, there are other times where it seems way beyond polite to be thankful in certain situations.    1 Thessalonians 5:18 “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”   Hmm. Be thankful in ALL CIRCUMSTANCES?   So, even if the car doesn’t start,  or my health isn’t what I want it to be,  or my friend or I  experience great pain? or tragedy… I should try to figure out how to be thankful in THOSE situations?   YES. (and we need to help our children to imagine this as an option)   Science has learned that our actions often precede our attitudes. In other words, we may not feel a certain way, but by acting as if we do, we then begin to feel that way.    This makes me think of my friend Sarah. She was terrified to speak and a bunch of social anxiety, but she had learned that if you act confident, you become confident. So, she joined Toastmasters to learn how to speak better. That’s where I met her.    She would shake before she had to speak. I remember a specific time when she was speaking when she was talking about being a confident speaker and her hands were so wet it felt as if she had just washed the dishes when I shook her hand right before she went up to speak.  Sarah was persistent and kept trying. She eventually went to the International Toastmasters' convention and became the 10th best speaker in the world. She’s had articles written about her in Forbes magazine. And it all started by realizing that our actions precede our attitudes.    So if you want to be thankful, you start acting thankful and as a result, you become thankful.  Funny how science often figures out things that God knew all along.    This is an amazing thing to know as a parent. If we teach our children how to be thankful, it’s a part of helping them to truly become thankful people.    Sometimes we know these things without having to have research prove them.   I think Paul knew this when he wrote this to the Philippians. Philippians 4:6 “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”   I think Daniel knew it too.    You see, Daniel had a tough life. He was plucked from his homeland, taken across the known world at that time. Forced to serve a king who neither knew God or honored him. And God helped him through it all. So much so that, for a while, King Nebuchadnezzar actually trusted God. But then, he went back to his self-centered ways and he lost his mind.    A new King took over, King Belshazzar. and once again, Daniel became his advisor. He gave the king guidance from God. He became the third highest ruler and then that king was killed.   The next king, Darius, the Mede, also chose Daniel as an administrator. Other advisors were jealous of the attention Daniel got, so they set him up. They tricked Darius into creating an order that for the next 30 days any person who prays to anyone, divine or human—except the king would be thrown into the lion’s den.    We know this story right. But what I find interesting is Daniel’s response to the signing of this law.    Daniel 6:10 But when Daniel learned that the law had been signed, he went home and knelt down as usual in his upstairs room, with its windows open toward Jerusalem. He prayed three times a day, just as he had always done, giving thanks to his God.   A law has been passed that he would be put in the lion’s den if he prayed, and he was so committed to following God that not only did he pray, he did it with the windows open three times that day and he wasn’t begging God to save his life. He wasn’t crying for the people who also prayed regularly. He was thanking God, just as he had always done.   Think about that for a second.    He’s a prisoner, in a foreign land (guilded cage for sure, but still a prisoner). He’s being handed off from king to king and each one dies abruptly or gets killed. Now, his third king, is ready to let him get shredded by hungry lions and he’s thanking God.   That’s hugely convicting to me.    Yes, it says that when they found him he was asking for God’s help. But, Daniel isn’t confident that God will protect him. He doesn’t make any statement that God’s got this. Actually, when he’s led to the den it’s Darius who wishes Daniel would be saved. Darius says, “May your God, who you serve so faithfully, rescue you.“   Daniel is silent.    He’s not some super hero with the power to close the mouths of lions with a single breath. He’s just a man. He’s a faithful man. He’s committed to serving God. But he’s just a man.   I’m sure many such men died regularly as captives. I’m sure Daniel didn’t think of himself as impervious to pain or suffering.    We all know what happened. The stone is put over the lion’s den and the king goes home. Daniel spends the night there and we have no idea what happened except that the next morning the king shows up and opens the den and shouts,   “Daniel, servant of the living God! Was your God, whom you serve so faithfully, able to rescue you from the lions?”   Daniel answered, “Long live the king! My God sent his angel to shut the lions’ mouths so that they would not hurt me, for I have been found innocent in his sight. And I have not wronged you, Your Majesty.”   Daniel went on to serve one more King, King Cyrus of Persia. I suspect he prayed 3 times a day with an open window, giving thanks to God each time.    In many ways, Daniel’s life was way more turbulent than our lives have been or will be. His life stands as an example of how we should be living. We should be living with confidence to share that we love and trust God. We should be living with thankful attitudes in our hearts and on our lips as we pray. If he could do it, there should be nothing stopping us.    Our kids need to know that. And in order for that to truly happen, we need to live this truth in front of them.   Colossians 2:6-7 “And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.”   It’s tempting for us to complain when life gets tough when our leaders don’t do what we want them to do, when our friends or family or even we suffer. The challenge is to not sink ourselves into that pit of despair. The challenge is to trust God enough to seek out something to thank Him for in the midst of the frustration. The challenge is to begin thanking Him even if we don’t feel it at the moment because He is worth thanking.    As we thank Him, we will receive the peace Paul mentioned in Philippians. We won’t necessarily understand it, but we will receive it. And He will guard our hearts as we face the various trials this life has to offer.    I live in Santa Clarita just one mile from Saugus High school and the shooting that happened there. My children knew other kids who stood next to the shooter and ran for their lives. They also know people who were friends with the shooter. Both groups of people are suffering and so many families have been impacted by this event. And still, there are things we can be thankful for. For the many people of Santa Clarita who have offered free services to kids and their families for everything from therapy to yoga to t-shirts to video games. We can be thankful for the emergency service providers who did everything right. We can be thankful for neighbors who hid running kids. We can be thankful for kids who watched out for other kids and protected them. We can be thankful for families who communicate with and support one another. We can be thankful for the people who lit candles in memory of the shooter all along the street where he lived. We can be thankful for the faculty and their tireless efforts to help the kids even as they struggle with their own fears and frustrations.    As we prepare for Thanksgiving, these words are everywhere. Our ancestors knew the value of them too. We need to remember to say, “Thank you.” Even if you don’t have a fancy meal or a huge crowd of the family to spend time with, we can still do this. We can still be thankful because God is present in our lives and everything we have, whether it’s little or a lot, He provided it for us.      It makes me think of a song I grew up with.   Give thanks with a grateful heart Give thanks to the Holy One Give thank because He’s given Jesus Christ, His Son.   And now, let weak say I am strong Let the poor say I am rich Because of what the Lord has done for us   Give thanks.   1 Thessalonians 5:18 “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”   I want to let you know how thankful I am for you. I pray for you regularly and value you. If this is helpful for you, please share it with a friend. Take a screenshot and post about it on your favorite social media format or text a friend, but there are so many voices out there and if this is helpful for you, it may be helpful for your friends too. So, let them know about it. And make sure to subscribe to the podcast because I love podcasts, but the only ones I really listen to and enjoy are the ones I subscribe to. It’s always free and ready whenever you want to listen.    I know you have plenty of things to do and plenty of choices on podcasts, so again, thank you for listening.    Remember, love is patient and love is kind and that is never more real than in our families. God bless you and have a beautiful day. 

In this episode of the Bible Momming podcast, we are taking a look at the history of momming. There are many things that moms have done and currently do well, but there are also many things we probably wouldn't do again. And yet, we all fall into the trap of comparison. So, in order to give us some perspective, we are looking at 100 years of momming and learning that we all need to give ourselves some grace and stop comparing ourselves to other moms. 

On this episode, I'm interviewing author, Leslie Verner, about her new book, Invited: Hospitality in an Age of Loneliness. in today's world, we often miss the company of other people but don't reach out to invite them into our homes. As believers in Christ, hospitality is expected and needed.  We talk about... Recognizing what season we are in for hospitality How clean is clean enough for visitors What hospitality really looks like Letting go of whether or not someone invites you over   "We invite because we are invited ones." - Leslie Verner   God invites us in and Jesus knocks to get welcomed in.     

In this episode, I'm talking with Brooke Hempell, a researcher from the Barna Group about what households of faith really look like today in the United States. She shares recent research on this topic. Take-Aways: - We learn about the vital role of moms. - Who kids really talk with when they have questions. - What moms can do to be ready for their kid's needs. - A great devotional for kids by Louis Giglio.    This episode is sponsored by Audible. You can get a free 30-day trial plus a free credit for a book by clicking this link. Audibletrial.com/BibleMomming For more info on Brooke and the Barna Group. Go to Barna.com.    Remember to click subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts, so that you can always listen to the latest episode for free wherever you are. 

Welcome to the Bible Momming podcast, I’m your host Paula Whidden. I’m an author, pastor, wife, and mom to two wonderful girls who I adore and I regularly tell them how much I like them. And, it’s true.  I didn’t know that I could like my own teenagers when I was a youth pastor and so many parents expressed their frustrations about their kids to me, and yet I do. I think you can too.  One way to begin liking your own children more involves working on communication. It starts when they are young and builds and strengthens or gets worse as they grow. Here are some things I’ve learned over the years that you can begin doing at any time and as long as you are persistent and caring through the process, you will grow closer to your children as a result. You see, we all want to connect with our kids but we can become frustrated as we seek to connect and they seem to close the door on us. Actually, what I’ve learned is that they want us to seek to grow as they grow. They want our questions to get better. They want us to make them feel better about themselves. They don’t know how to teach us though. But, they want to see it happen. So, today we are learning about asking better questions to get better answers.  It feels like lately, we are in a communication drought. Don’t get me wrong, plenty of people are talking. OH SO MUCH TALKING! But very few are listening or even trying to listen.   I’m not innocent of this. My youngest daughter started referring to me as a JibberJabber when she was 6, she’s 15 now and it’s a family joke. She has also become a bit of a jibber-jabber. Needless to say, I have a history of being a talker. But that doesn’t mean I’ve always been a good communicator. And, I want to be one. A few years ago I embarked on a learning journey to improve my communication skills. I began reading great books like Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently by John Maxwell. I listened to amazing podcasts by great communicators like Dynamic Communicators by Ken Davis. And, I began trying things out on my family. I believe that being able to communicate well with our children is a huge part of their growth process.  Actually, some research indicates the truth of this. The University of Missouri has done some studies on how to build a strong family and in 2004 they determined that communication between parents and children influences children’s problem-solving skills, ability to relate with peers and their level of emotional distress.   As I studied, I learned that I needed to ask more and better questions. I tended to fill in any empty space with my own words. But I learned that asking more questions than I answer really helped me to get to know my kids and my husband better. I needed to not assume I understood them, I needed to be sure because I asked good questions. (I’ll admit, they have occasionally been resistant, but they are coming around.) When I first started, I think I came off as a bit of an inquisitor or a journalist trying to get a story. I accidentally pummeled them with questions for the purpose of asking questions rather than really listening and responding to them. My children have gone through periods where there don’t want to answer and get frustrated by my asking.  Eventually, I had to tell them that my questions showed how much I care. I didn’t have to ask. We could sit in the same car and pull out our devices and never talk. We could do that, but I wouldn’t like it because I would feel like we weren’t really caring for one another. So, I ask questions. In spite of their pushback, I kept trying. You can too. From what I can tell, they are glad I kept pushing. I think they are also glad that I lightened up and started actually listening. (I confess that when I’m tired I sometimes go back to my old ways, but I’m getting better.) Did you know there are 584 Bible verses on the topic of listening? That’s a lot.   Proverbs 12:15 Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.   I don’t know about you, but when I’m older looking back at my momming style, I don’t want to think I was such a fool. I’m sure you don’t either. Over the years, there are things I’ve learned about this question asking stuff. There are good questions and there are bad questions. If you’ve ever asked a question and receive the grunting one-word response (which I have received) those are the bad questions. They didn’t intrigue my kids enough to beg them to answer. They were aimed at a yes or no response, which doesn’t ignite good conversation. The best way to handle it when you discover you asked a bad question is either to regroup and try again or redirect and try again. In other words, don’t give up just because you messed up, keep trying. Some questions people don’t want to answer, so you may have to go onto another topic for the time being.  I started doing this to help me learn about what my kids were doing when they were in school and we couldn’t connect. I felt so separate from them. I’ve also discovered that this knowledge overflows into my marriage too. My husband and I are apart all day and then we come together around 7:30 pm and go to bed around 10 pm. In that time, our family watches T.V. or plays a game or has some activity, so the time we get to talk together is fairly small. It has to be purposeful. The better questions I ask my husband, the more connected we feel to one another.  To be fair, sometimes he reciprocates and asks me some questions, but sometimes he’s tired and he doesn’t. That’s okay. I’m responsible for me.  Here are some tricks I’ve learned about asking good questions. I hope they help you to connect with your family too.    1. Yes and No is No Go I am always trying to figure out ways to ask questions that will not have a “yes,” or, “no,” response. Those two words are dead ends in conversation. If I accidentally get that response, I’ll ask a follow-up question like, “Why?” or “Why not?” I’ll ask for an explanation even if I think I know the explanation because I’ve learned that I make a lot of assumptions about what my family means and those assumptions often turn out to be wrong.    2. Use Early Grammar Tools Do you remember being in English class and the teacher told you to write about the who, what, when, where and why of a given story?  Those are great conversation-starting words.  Who helps you to know about the people in your children’s lives. What gives specifics that we don’t know if we don’t ask. When is tough for the little children but it still helps to move your conversation forward. Where give a visual image for those of us who picture things when we talk with others. And why help us to understand the inner thinking of those we love. Here are a couple of examples of questions I often ask my kids:   Who did you eat lunch with today? What made you smile today? Where do you wish you could visit sometime? Why do you want to do that activity?   3. Have Regular Questions You Ask There can be something annoying about having someone ask you the same questions, but there is also something comforting about it. I’ve discovered that when I’m tired (and that happens more than I’d like) I can’t think of good questions. That doesn’t mean I’m not interested in my kids or my husband, I just lack originality at the moment. So, I’ve developed some go-to questions that I ask regularly. You can develop the ones that work for you. Many of these came about because I asked bad questions and tried again. When I got good responses, I made a mental note and re-asked it. I’m amazed at how these repetitious questions still get great responses. With my husband it’s different than with my kids, in his fatigue he’ll push back on the repetitious questions sometimes. Ironically, my kids look forward to answering these questions and often compete for who gets to share first. What an amazing problem to have! Here are some of my regular questions?   How was your day today? (I know this often involves a one-word answer, but I use it to help me know how to ask other questions. For example, when my daughter says, “good,” I’ll follow up with, “What made it good?” or “What was your favorite part?” If she says it was,” Bad.” I’ll respond with something like, “What made it bad?” What was the best part of your day? Did you have any good conversations today? What kind of things did you talk about? What was the worst part of your day? These are works in progress, but usually, these questions start good conversations. As those conversations go and as I’ve been learning to listen more, my kids often ask me questions too. Some of them are about me, but some are also about things they saw or did because they value my thoughts. As a parent, those questions are wonderful teaching moments because they are asking me to be a part of their thought process and their world. I love that.   4. Table Talk I’ve also discovered that sitting down at the table to eat helps in those conversations. When I was growing up, my family sat in the living room and watched T.V. together over dinner. As a result, we really didn’t talk much and even today we struggle with communicating with one another. I didn’t want that for my kids. It’s been really important for me to figure out how to sit down at a table together for a meal.  It was foreign. I didn’t know how to sit at the table, eat together and actually talk with one another. Funny how we often do things outside our comfort zones for our kids. That was DEFINITELY outside my comfort zone. I started asking the questions, but it actually felt even more awkward. All our other conversations, with the exception of my husband, were in the car. The car felt comfortable and safe and familiar. The table didn’t. So, we decided to start playing board games as a part of our meals. In the course of a board game, we have conversations and it felt safer.    5. Board Games If this applies to you, our family has certain favorite board games we have played over the years. We have found that some fit us better than others. It’s a point of discovery. When you find what works for you, you too can have a venue for the conversations that maybe feel awkward to you too.  Plus, when it’s very cold or very hot outside, board games are great ways to be active, at least mentally, as a family. Anything that takes you away from a screen is helpful.  Over the years, different board games have been popular in our home. Right now we are enjoying Mexican Train Dominoes (thank you to my friend Jason Vanderpal for teaching us), Scrabble, Catch Phrase and Uno.  After you have done all these things or even some of these things always remember to listen well and respond to what they are saying don’t just wait to say your next question. Our kids want to know that we are truly interested in them.    James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, One of the biggest things we do for our children is trying. We try one thing, then try another and we keep on trying to help our kids to be successful and hopefully become kind and caring and successful adults they were meant to be.  Don’t give up mommas, keep trying.   I would love to hear from you on this topic. Do you have questions that work well in your home? How about board games? Have you tried sitting at the table for meals, how do you get everyone talking together? You can contact me on social media. I’m Paula Whidden on just about every venue.  Thank you taking time out of your day to listen to this podcast. Remember to subscribe so that you can hear it for free whenever you want. I don’t know about you but I only listen to the podcasts I subscribe to. And if this is helpful for you, share it with a friend.  I’ve enjoyed this time we have together. I know you have plenty of things to do and many options, so thank you for listening.  Remember Love is Patient, Love is kind…and that is never more real than in our families. God bless you and have a great week.    

On this episode of the Bible Momming podcast, Paula interviews author and speaker Mary Kassian. She has a new book out called The Right Kind of Strong: Surprisingly Simple Habits of a Spiritually Strong Woman.   In this episode, we talk about: Problems we have with some verses about women How we can turn those around and learn from them Ways women often try to be strong Great habits for women to become the right kind of strong If we haven’t met, I would love to connect with you on Instagram or Facebook.  

I’m so glad to be back with the Bible Momming podcast. It’s pretty exciting, the podcast has been growing and it’s actually international now. So I’m elated to welcome listeners from Great Britain, Germany, India, Kuwait and South Africa.    This is a pretty crazy time of year as kids are starting school or going back. I tend to love and hate it at the same time. I love the sense of organization as my kids end up having a regular schedule with people to see and things to do. I also hate the extra layer of business it adds to my schedule as the school has plenty of things they want me to do in addition. Plus, I miss my kids when I don’t get to spend as much time with them. This was especially true when my girls were in elementary school.    Now, we pulled out of traditional public school in favor of charter school and my oldest is now attending college, but I remember those feelings and still struggle a bit with them even now.    I’ve really appreciated our charter school because they have been great for our kids, but I would love it if you would please pray for the charter schools in California. There are some bills making their way through our state legislature that could make it tough for families like ours. There’s a lot of competition for state funding and charter schools are being made to look like bad guys. That is anything but the truth, so please pray for the families and our legislators as they try to figure this stuff out.    Now, today I want to talk with you about something you may not realize you are doing.    Leadership.   Over 30 years ago, I held my first leadership role. I was a counselor for teenagers at a camp for the summer. I had just finished my first year of college and wanted to help my church. So, I volunteered to go to camp. I volunteered for high school camp because we didn’t have enough students to go to Jr. high camp. It didn’t occur to me how crazy that was until I was there and it dawned on me that I was leading people who were also my age. Some seniors were 18, but I was 18 after one year of college. They put me in charge of a group of freshmen and I decided to do the best I could with them and not think about the ages of other kids at the camp. It was an amazing experience and I think I did pretty well.    Since then, I’ve become passionate about learning from great leaders because I always want to get better at helping others. Eventually, I became a youth pastor and started to awkwardly put together some of the things I had been learning. From there, I became an associate pastor and a children’s pastor. I’ve coached couples on how to improve the quality of their marriage and I’ve written books for couples and families.    Through it all, I’ve still passionately sought wise leaders to guide me. I meet with them face to face or read their books or listen to their podcasts. I always thought the leadership skills I was learning were strictly for helping with work as a pastor or speaker.    Now that my own children are in their teens and one is almost done with her teens, I realize how much mom advice I got from those leadership gurus. I realized how their lessons helped me to be a better mom and help my own kids to become the best they can be. So, today I want to pass some of that onto you. You see, you are a leader momma.    From the day the doctor or nurse handed your beautiful baby over to you, you became a leader. Over the course of your child’s life, you will give them insight into ways to eat, how to act, how to handle hardships, how to build friendships, when to keep pushing forward and when to back away. You’ll help your son or daughter to know their strengths and weaknesses. You will introduce them to God and the Bible. You will be their primary source of encouragement and direction. You will attempt to support and teach them school things, but predominantly you will be leading them in how to be the best human they can be.    If you doubt me, listen to some of the definitions of leadership offered by the many leaders I’ve studied over the years. See how you fit into these definitions.      "Leadership is not about titles, positions, or flowcharts. It is about one life influencing another." --John C. Maxwell   "Don't follow the crowd, let the crowd follow you." --Margaret Thatcher   "The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. He is the one that gets the people to do the greatest things." --Ronald Reagan   "A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the equality of his actions and the integrity of his intent." --Douglas MacArthur   "Leaders think and talk about the solutions. Followers think and talk about the problems." --Brian Tracy   "The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes." --Tony Blair     “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou   Do you see it now?   Can you see how you are a leader?   As we seek direction from the Bible on how to be the best mom we can be, I want you to look at God’s directions to leaders because those are for you. We all know moms who mess this up because they doubt their own leadership skills, they doubt the confidence for this role. But, the Bible is loaded with people who had those same doubts concerning the leadership role they were given.    You may be a clerk at a grocery store or an administrative assistant and it may be tough for you to grab this. It was tough for Moses too. He begged God to send someone else to help the Israelite people. Or maybe you are a leader at work, you manage 200 or more people and coordinate major corporate events. But kids scare you. Funny thing about work leadership. There is always someone else who can come and take your job. They may do it as good as you or even better. But when it comes to being the mom of your child, you are irreplaceable. You are uniquely placed in this space at this time to train up and raise these people. And much like many Biblical leaders, you can do it.    In Jesus’ day, the disciples had many poor leaders to look at. Consider that time period. It was brutal and so were the leaders. And yet, there are definite similarities between how people of leadership acted between then and now.   Mark 10:42-45 (NLT) 42 So Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. 43 But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. 45 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”   That’s precisely what great moms do. They serve their family. They serve their kids. That can look differently with different people. It could mean being the transportation, it could mean being the main food server. It also could me picking out clothes or attending an event that you are not looking forward to attending. Serving means acknowledging that it’s not all about me.    This can be tough. That why we need to know what God told to the prophet Isaiah to pass on to the people of Israel when they felt defeated and tired. This is for us too Mommas.   Isaiah 41:10 (NLT)  Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.     Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you.     I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.   It doesn’t matter what age you are either. I know many young mommas who are starting this leadership process. I have heard their frustrations and how they wish they knew more or had more experience.    The Apostle Paul sent a letter to a young leader named Timothy addressing this exact thought.    1 Timothy 4:12 (NLT) 12 Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.   Each of us has a beautiful capacity to lead the people God gave us to lead. And I know it’s tempting to show off or to compare ourselves to one another. It’s an easy trap to fall into. There are some things our kids will have in common with other kids. And yet, they are preciously unique and we are on the ground floor to see that. So let’s be careful of those temptations that all leaders struggle with. That’s why Paul mentioned it to the believers in the town of Philippi by saying…   Philippians 2:3 (NLT) 3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.   Believe me I struggle with these too. I want to show off my kids and what they do as an athlete or a scholar. But I also struggle with how to express a thought that will truly be encouraging to them or how to finally motivate my child to have a clean room. There is so much more to our stories than the pictures we post on social media. And, when they move out and do their own thing, they will still have challenges that I may or may not have helped them prepare for. It’s intimidating.   I still remember having spent so much time with so many children before my girls were born. That first day in the hospital when the nurse came to show my husband and me some basic ways to care for our baby and I was scared. I still get scared sometimes. I get afraid that I will have made a decision that has a detrimental impact on the rest of their lives. I think we all feel that sometimes.  So do other leaders. That’s why God’s first words to Joshua when he became the second leader of the Israelites were these. And they fit us too.     Joshua 1:9 This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”   Mommas, we desperately need to strength that God can and does give us. We won’t do everything right. No leader does. We take one step at a time and move forward knowing that He is with us and that He has great promises for us like this.   Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.    Coming up on the Bible Momming podcast, I’ve got some great guests and some help to develop habits that will strengthen you and enable you to be the strong leader God designed you to be.    Over the next couple of months I’m talking with Brooke Hempell from the Barna group about research they’ve been doing on what strong households of faith look like. I’m talking with Beth McCord about how knowing your enneagram type and your family’s types and how that will help you to appreciate one another more. I’m talking with author Mary Kassian about being the right kind of strong, and so much more.    I’m so enthusiastic about this next season. If you want to connect with me, I would love to hear from you. You can find me on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter and I’m “Paula Whidden” everywhere you look.    If you would like to connect with other like minded moms, come join the Bible Momming group on Facebook.    I know you have plenty of things pulling at your time, so thank you for listening. And remember, Love is patient and love is kind and that is never more real than in our families. 

We all want our kids to be confident and capable and know all the strengths God gives to them. In order to successfully pass these things on, we need to own them and trust them for ourselves first. On this episode, we focus on trusting and believing you are special.  Bible Verses You Are A Friend of Christ. John 15:13  “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:15  “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”   You Are Set Apart. Hebrews 10:10  “We have been set apart as holy because Jesus Christ did what God wanted him to do by sacrificing his body once and for all.”   You Are Anointed.  2 Corinthians 1:21-22  And it is God who establishes us with you in Christ, and has anointed us, and who has also put his seal on us and given us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee.   You Are A New Creation In Christ.  2 Corinthians 5:17  “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”    

We all want our kids to be confident and capable and know all the strengths God gives to them. In order to successfully pass these things on, we need to own them and trust them for ourselves first. On this episode, we focus on recognizing that you are powerful and strong.  Bible Verses You Are Powerful and Capable  2 Timothy 1:7  (NLT) For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.   You Are Strong  Philippians 4:13  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”   2 Corinthians 12:10  “That is why, for the sake of Christ, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”   Ephesians 6:10  10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.   You Are Not alone  Isaiah 41:10  Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.     Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you.     I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.   You Are More Than Conquerors  Romans 8:35-37 35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep."37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

We often tell our friends that they are beautiful. Sometimes our kids tell us that we are beautiful. But, we often don't receive it. We don't accept it because we judge ourselves and compare ourselves with the images we see all around us. What if we received these comments and acknowledged that we are a beautiful creation of our amazing creator. What if we accept this not in a braggadocious way but as a humble truth that all God makes is beautiful. 

We all want our kids to be confident and capable and know all the strengths God gives to them. In order to successfully pass these things on, we need to own them and trust them for ourselves first. On this episode, we focus on trusting that you are free and forgiven. Bible Verses  You Are Freed From Slavery To Sin  John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. Romans 6:6  For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— Romans 8:1-2 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.     You Are Redeemed  Psalm 107:2  Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble Ephesians 1:7  In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace,   You Are Alive  Ephesians 2:5  Even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—   You Are Forgiven.  Romans 3:23-24  “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1  “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

We all want our kids to be confident and capable and know all the strengths God gives to them. In order to successfully pass these things on, we need to own them and trust them for ourselves first. On this episode, we focus on remembering our birthright as children of God.  Bible verses in this episode You are a child of God. John 1:12  “But to all who believed in him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn-not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.” Ephesians 1:5  God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. 1 John 3:1-2  See how much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that we are God’s children because they don’t know him. You are loved. John 3:16 “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him. 1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.   You are blessed. Ephesians 1:3 All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ.   You are God's heir.  Romans 8:17  And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory.    You are chosen. 1 Peter 2:9 ….for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.

When we think of self-care, we often think of something from this list created by the University of Buffalo.  Start eating healthier. Work out regularly. Reduce stress. Prioritize and schedule your time better. Relax. Practice “mindfulness.” Be good to yourself. On this episode of the Bible Momming podcast, let's look at each of these popular self-care topics while examining what the Bible says. 

From the start of Mother's Day until the present, Moms have been encouraging one another in a variety of ways. In this Bible Momming episode, Paula shares about the lives of two real Moms of the Bible and how we can find encouragement because of their lives. She also shares her book The Value of a Mom. You can get a copy for yourself by going to BibleMommng.com/resources.

Several years ago, I met Deanna. She had been involved in the pornography industry for years, but when I met her she was making major life changes. She was getting clean and sober. She left the industry. She came to know Jesus and He was helping her to change in extraordinary ways. Since our first meeting, she's gone to seminary and gotten married and embraced the new possibilities only God could bring and today she's talking with me about her perspective on the pornography industry.  She's a passionate advocate for the Refuge for Women, an organization that helps women to leave the sex industry. Another organization that helps women leave the sex industry is called Treasures.  Both of these are great resources. 

A few years ago, we didn't know what autism was and now we hear about it all the time. If you are a mom of a child with autism or you have a friend who is, then you know how often it feels like other moms just don't get it. On this podcast, Paula talks with Licensed therapist and counseling pastor Becky White about her personal connection with autism and how other moms can find support and encouragement. 

Over the years, I've studied, learned and sought to live with a sense of joy. It's a passion of mine. Our family even spend a year with it as our whole family theme. As a result, I learned that there are certain things we can do to develop more joy in our lives. I call them the ABC's of Joyful Living. Every now and again, I'll create a podcast to help you learn about these skills too. Today's topic is the value of having a sense of awe in our lives and how it can bring us joy. This applies to adults as well as children. 

Many of us find ourselves depressed, so did Melissa Maimone. She found herself overwhelmed with darkness and as she did, she learned something we all need to learn. In her new book, Radiant Midnight, Melissa shares the blessings she found in her personal midnight and in this podcast she's helping us all to learn how to find them for ourselves. 

After surveying 85 Christian Moms on the topic of modesty and conservative clothing, Paula shares the results with you. Some of them may surprise you. If you have questions or comments, or you want to be added to the survey, you can send an email to Paula@BibleMomming.com. 

In 2018, Nike signed its first athlete with cerebral palsy. His name is Justin Gallegos. On this Bible Momming podcast, Paula talks with Tracy  Gallegos, Justin's mom, about finding her purpose and passion as she helped her son grow. She shares the value of community and how falling is just a part of life.  You can see videos about Justin at BibleMomming.com.   

During a Q&A, after speaking at a MOPS group, Paula was asked, "Do you have any tips on having good conversations with our kids?" This episode is a result of that discussion. If you have struggled with how to talk with your kids, Paula provides some handy tips and strategies to get you having conversations throughout your child's life.  If you have any questions you want to ask Paula, go to BibleMomming.com/contact/.  

On this episode, Paula talks with her friend Karen Lee about how to share your faith with your friends. Karen started a growing Bible study for women called God Squad. She and her husband also started some home churches with their friends. Her energy and excitement are positively contagious.  Karen is also hosting a Mother and Sons retreat at Forest Home camp. If you are interested, click here for more information.  https://www.foresthome.org/event/mother-son-retreat/ BibleMomming.com

In this episode, I'm joined by Counseling Pastor and licensed therapist Becky White. With the increase in suicides across our country, it's getting tougher to avoid the topic with our families. Let's learn together some wise ways to address this difficult topic with wisdom.  For more resources, go to BibleMomming.com

If your family is like mine, mealtimes can be challenging because there are so many taste buds with so many opinions. Let me share with you some tips I've learned over the years to bring contentment to this necessary practice and even help you bond better with your family in a way that has a lasting impact. See the show notes for links and recipes at BibleMomming.com.

A great way to help your kids imagine other places in the world and learn contentment in our neck of the woods is to expose them to missions. You can serve here in the United States or take your family to other countries so that they learn about the different types of lives people lead around the world. Today, I'm talking with my friend Lisa DiGiovanni about her organization the Lunch Bucket and how missions have impacted her family over the years. 

I'm talking with Carolynn Reiser about finding hope when all feels hopeless, specifically in your marriage. Carolynn and her husband Bill have been leaders in Celebrate Recovery for years and now they have started their own ministry called The Hope Encounter. If you have been frustrated with your own marriage in the midst of also caring for your kids, you need to listen to this episode. 

No one can get us angry, frustrated, and at our wits end like our family. Sometimes they do it intentionally and sometimes they don't, but we feel it just the same. As Moms, we have to deal with our own issues of forgiveness while also attempting to train our little humans so that they can be forgiving people too. It isn't easy, but it also isn't impossible. 

Many of my friends have adopted children using a wide variety of methods. Often I hear their wishes for things they would love other families to understand. Today, I'm talking with Leslie Hoff, one of the founders of Foster Love L.A. about her adoption journey in the foster care system and what it can be like for other adoptive families.

Being a mom is just plain stressful. There is no way around that. We can simply react as we have always done or we can seek out ways to be wise. If you feel guilty about how you handle stress, you don't have to feel that way. You can have joy while raising up other humans. 

Today, I'm talking with Jenna Parde about her ministry called Scribbling Grace. She shares about fun ways to do Bible journalling with paint. She gives tips on how to help yourself and your kids to enjoy the Bible more by using some artistic expression.    You can find Jenna on....   Instagram Youtube Facebook Pinterest                     Etsy Shop:

We often avoid appearing weird because someone might judge us, but when we genuinely follow the teachings of the Bible many people will perceive us as weird. This can be tough for kids. So, why not encourage other weird habits so that they can embrace the wonderful weirdness only God can give. 

Hi, I’m Paula Whidden, your mentor mom here at the Bible Momming podcast.  My girls are 14 and 18 and I’ve been testing out things on them for years. Some were great and some were not. let me help you out mommas. You can learn from my mistakes.   In addition to that, I’ve ministered to children and teens and their families as a youth and children’s pastor. So the things, my kids didn’t do, someone else’s kid did. I was right there with them crying and praying through it.    One of the biggest things I’ve learned over the years is how truly amazing the Bible is. I know everyone says that, or at least everyone in the Christian community, but I didn’t always think that. I mean. I loved Jesus and I loved God or at least my idea of God. But the Bible was a hit or miss idea to me. I remember thinking that if no one had the Bible but they knew God loved them, that would be plenty. But then, I tried to do that. I tried to love Jesus without learning more about God through the Bible, and I kept blowing it over and over. So, I became really committed that if I was going to trust God with my whole heart then I would trust the Bible wholeheartedly.    I’ve learned that there are things which are mentioned in the Bible, but they are not advice. They are not meant to be repeated, they are more of a WHAT-NOT-TO-DO kind of thing. The Bible is pretty blunt about people’s failures and if someone does something in the Bible and then they completely fail in an important arena, they were an example of WHAT-NOT-TO-DO.    There are verses that help us to know what to do also, but you have to spend time reading and digging and seeking to understand this great book so that you can tell the difference. I want to help you do that mommas.    I’m doing this because I’ve discovered that this book is the best counselor you will ever find when you figure out how to read it. Some of its guidance seems counter-intuitive to what we naturally do. It takes some personal discipline and even help from God to actually do it, but when you do, there are major rewards for you personally, for your family, for your friendships, and your marriage.   In addition, with that in mind, I want to help you to not get held back by fear or your own expectations. I know what it’s like to be afraid and that’s not the life God has called you to live.   I was in two major car accidents before the age of 13. One killed my dad and almost killed my brother and me. In the second accident, I broke my jaw, my elbow and had a compound fracture in my right shin. As a result, when I became a parent I found myself scared to let my girls try new things. I called myself safety mom as I followed them around ready to catch them when they fell. When I realized that this could be a problem, I began seeking God’s guidance in the Bible to help me overcome my fears.   I’d love to say I’m this totally fearless wonder woman, now, but actually I just know I’m better than before. I’m making progress toward this freedom that God has for me and my girls. I knew I had been making some great progress when I sat beside my daughter as she competed in a mixed martial arts boxing tournament and my job was to roll toilet paper to pack her bleeding nose. I was watching her cues and seeking to see if she wanted to keep going. The answer was a definite yes and I wasn’t stuck in fear for her but helping her to keep moving forward with wisdom and grace.   If you are someone whose fears can easily get the best of her, stick around because Bible Momming is for you. I will share with you lessons I’ve been learning and help you to meet some other amazing Bible Moms who are doing their best to guide their kids.    This season we will talk about:   Things Adoptive Families Wish You Knew Our Family Is So Messed Up, How Could We Ever Be Biblical Conservative Clothing Forgiveness in the family pornography - Deanna My “Special needs” kids -  Embracing Weird Trips For a Cause (how vacations can also be an opportunity for service) Teaching Communication Skills to Kids Angry Momma stuff   and much more.    We are fearlessly seeking the guidance God has for us from the greatest book ever written. Also, If you have ever wanted to dig into the Bible but you don’t know where to begin? If you have questions about the Bible and you are embarrassed to ask? If you find the Bible confusing and wish someone would help you to make some sense of it?   Then, I created a course for you. The course is called Bible Basics: How to Read the Bible, Understand It, and Grow.   In it, you will learn who wrote the Bible and How it was written. You will learn how to pick out your own Bible so that it’s one you can understand and appreciate. You will get an overview of each book of the Bible in a short but understandable format. You will understand the historical significance of the Bible and I will guide you so that you begin your own study of the Bible that connects with what you want to learn. Get a 40% discount on the class by going to  BIBLEMOMMING.COM/BIBLE-BASICS    Also, I've been checking out some great podcasts for Bible Moms and decided to make a master list for you on my blog called BibleMomming.com. Come over and check out Biblemomming.com/Top-15-Podcasts-for-Bible-Moms. They are not all podcasts about being a mom or the Bible but they are great resources for you as you seek to be the best Bible Mom you know how to be. 

On this episode, I’m joined by my friends Val and Jenna as we have an honest and open conversation about all things Christmas and what we really do in our homes. You’ll be surprised by the differences between us.    Today, I’m joined by Val Vanderpal (mom of two based in Wisconsin) and Jenna Palomino (mom of two based in Los Angeles County). Both of them are pastor’s wives and we all share our unique Christmas traditions and issues. We laugh at our ability or inability to create fun decor, the movies we watch, how we handle Santa, and much more.    This is the end of our first season of the Bible Momming podcast. It’s a great time to go back and check out episodes you may have missed. Below are links to other episodes. We will begin again in January. If you want to stay aware of our next episodes, join our newsletter here.    We’ll keep you up to date on new podcasts, places I’m speaking and online Momming Chats as they come up.    Also, if this podcast has blessed you in some way, please consider donating to help keep this little boat afloat. It takes time, energy, and money to keep bringing these to you each week.  BibleMomming.com Paypal.me/BibleMomming

  00:22                            Hello, Mama's. I am coming to you today from my car while I'm waiting for my daughter to have her drum lessons….We are talking about how sleep matters and what happens when we get it or we don't get it. Now, whether you are a new mom or a night terror mom with infants or a mom with a teenager who wants to stay up all night, we all struggle with sleep. I've learned from science, all sorts of different things about sleep and it helps me to understand God’s design and how He created us to be. 01:11                            Now this is something I personally struggled with though I am from a long way back, a person who loves to stay out late. 02:53                            So one of the things I've struggled with as a mom is the realization that, hey, wait a second. Staying up late may not be beneficial to me or my family. 03:45                            And the struggle continued now as my daughter was ready to enter elementary school, we discovered that I had accidentally messed her up too. I got notes from the teacher telling me that she probably needed more sleep because she was falling asleep in class. Imagine how embarrassing that was for me. I thought I was so smart. Here I was a youth pastor and my kid was falling asleep in school and so I had to figure out what I need to do. So, I did a whole bunch of research trying to figure out how to help my kids and that did help. 04:37                            There are some Bible verses related to this, but it's a little bit of a stretch and I'm going to be honest with you. It's not like the Bible goes into how much sleep you should get. Yet there are things that made me think of that as I was looking at it. 05:27                            As I said, this is clearly not about how many hours of sleep you get but isn't there something sweet about the idea of just getting some rest and imagine if we're getting the proper amount of sleep for our bodies. 06:21                            I did some digging. I wanted to find out some things related to sleep research, and there are a couple of different places I found things. We have a bunch research on sleep from places like the National Sleep Foundation. 12:03                            Think about all those things, and that's just as an adult, how that affects us. If it's your kids, think about your kids when they have a lack of sleep. 12:51                            It affects their emotions. They can be more moody, irritable, they can be impulsive. Their stress is increased throughout the day. And one thing I was fascinated by is how it can worsen the symptoms of an existing behavior, anxiety, mood disorders, depression, bipolar disorder, things that kids are going through that are already extra for moms where we have kids with disabilities, the lack of sleep can actually make those things worse.                                     I was able to find that the Canadian pediatric society produces a general guide for on average, the amount of sleep children need over a 24 hour period. Now, this includes naps. 17:32                            There are some ways to get a better night sleep. One of them is to make sure you stick to a good sleep schedule: the same bedtime, same wake time, even on the weekends…The researchers also recommend having a good relaxing bedtime ritual. 20:33                            I'm currently working my way through them right now. We don't have cell phones in our room and, as I said, they mess with me for a little bit. I've been getting my regular seven hours of sleep, but I've discovered that for me, I need a little bit more. ….We all need rest. We all need the regeneration. That sleep gives us many of us long for moments to pause. Maybe we won't need those moments of pause as often when we get this basic need down. When we trust God with our issues, enough to pause and rest, he promises to rejuvenate us in many ways. 21:23                            We need to release this area of our lives so that God can bless it. Remember what Hebrews 4:10 says, “for anyone who enters God's rest also risks from their work just as God did from his.” ….I hope you are having a good day and a good night's sleep.

I’m Paula Whidden. I’ve ministered to teens and kids for 30 years, and now I’m helping moms to raise their kids with a Biblical foundation. This podcast is meant to help moms find a place to connect with one another and realize that you aren’t alone. As you listen to the podcast, would you please rate and review it on whatever venue you hear. This is incredibly helpful because when people are searching they scan those reviews to see if this will be valuable to them. I read every one of them.       One review said, “Paula is a smart, entertaining woman who bridges the gap between so many with her open, loving way she approaches important topics. We need more             people like her in this world."   Right now, I’m sitting in my home office as the breeze is blowing outside my Southern California home. I’m drinking some mint tea, which is one of my favorites. And, I’m excited to spend this time with you.   During this time of year, I’ve noticed that people get so tense and I find myself getting tense right alongside them. I’m not sure if it’s because there is less light or if it’s because we have such high expectations for ourselves and others at this season. For some reason when it’s darker longer, I notice that the space around me feels tighter, especially when I’m in the Walmart parking lot.    When I mention loving my neighbor to people I know, they often talk about my next door neighbors. Is that where your imagination went? And in today’s world, we are all so busy on so many varying schedules that it’s tough to get to know your neighbor. If I'm very genuine, I’ve reached out and said “hi,” to my neighbors. I know most of their names unless they aren’t forthcoming. I try to be nice, but we don’t hang out and visit regularly. That’s not who my neighbors are.    So, then what are we talking about here. If I’m not trying to teach you how to build a friendship in the neighborhood, then what can I possibly bring to the table on the topic of loving your neighbor? What Does Kindness Look Like In the Bible? I think we’ve really limited the view of who our neighbors are.   We know it’s important to love our neighbors because Jesus told us in Matthew 22. When He was asked what the greatest commandment was, He responded, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself. The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” What Jesus is saying here, all those “rules” that people think about when they think about God are summed up in these two things: loving God and loving others. That’s the main point of all those rules. I know you're probably thinking, that’s great Paula, I’ve heard this stuff before, but how do I teach it to my kids? Stick with me mommas, this will connect.  In Luke 10, Jesus told the story of a man who was traveling and got attacked. That man was left to die, and a few people crossed his path without even really looking at him. Then, one man who shouldn’t have cared one way or the other noticed him. This is the part of the story most people forget. The man who saw him wasn’t from his community. He wasn’t part of the “IN” crowd. Actually, he was a bit of an outcast. He was called a Samaritan. Today we have “Good Samaritan” laws based on this story. But the man who was beaten was a Jew, and the helper was a Samaritan, and they were not friends. If they had met in another situation, they would have probably glared at one another. They would have probably avoided one another. Imagine different extreme groups like the Hatfields and the Macoys, the Crips and the Bloods, or the conservative Republican and the LGBTQ Democrat.  That’s what these two people were to each other.  And yet, in this situation at this time, the Samaritan didn’t see “a Jew” he saw a human in need. So, he helped and fed and made sure he was cared for. He even went above and beyond on kindness.  When Jesus finished this story, He told the people listening to, “Go and do the same.” That’s a convicting story from the Bible. It challenges us to rethink who are neighbors are.  If you haven’t read the whole thing before, here's a LINK to it.    Who Is My Neighbor?  Whoever...     - the skater     - the conservative     - the liberal     - the President     - the garbage guy     - the Pastor     - the tattoo artist     - the pole dancer      Matthew 5:46 (NLT) If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. Our challenge is to really do it even if they don’t love you back. Mommas, our kids are watching us. They want to know if we will do it. Because if we do it, then it might be important.  I would love to say that I’m always great at this, but I have struggled. Especially when I’m behind the wheel of my car. I’m seriously tempted to say something harsh about the person who cut me off on the road or took the parking place I waited 5 minutes to claim. 5 whole minutes.  What is Love? But I’ve been asking God to help me with this. As a reminder to myself, for a long time, I’ve had words on my kitchen wall that quoted 1 Corinthian 13. My wall said, “Love is patient, love is kind.” I put those words on my wall as a reminder to myself because often I found myself yelling down my hallway at my kids.  Do you do that?  The wall I placed those words on was the one I looked at as I yelled down the hallway. So, I was forcing myself to think before I screamed. I’m apparently a slow learner because there were many times I yelled and then noticed the words. But eventually, I started seeking God’s guidance on how I could be firm yet kind with my kids.  I really noticed the changes that were happening in me when  I was in a store parking lot recently, and I positioned our minivan to pull out onto the main road. A pale blue, large Ford truck drove around me and pulled out onto the road just as I was pulling out. I took a breath and out of my mouth came, “Thank you VERY MUCH. You LOVELY LADY.”  At that moment, I was completely unaware that my daughter was sitting in the car. This is what naturally came out of my mouth. I probably wouldn’t have thought more about it, except she kept telling people about it.  “You should have seen my mom,” she kept saying. “She was so upset she called that woman a LOVELY LADY.”   I was just grateful that God had helped me to keep my temper and not verbally vomit on my kid. I’m not above that. This was God helping me to actually be kinder than I would be on my own.  As we’re seeking to love our neighbors, knowing what love really is matters. I know you’re probably rolling your eyes and thinking. Paula, I know what love is. And maybe you do. But I didn’t. That’s why I adore 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. It Will Be Awkward As we train our children, they will encounter mean people or people who are different from them, people who make them uncomfortable.  We are still directed by the Bible to love them.  Several years ago, when I was single, I was invited to go to a Halloween event that I had never even heard of. It was a Halloween parade in West Hollywood, which is lovingly called WeHo out here. The friends who invited me were not Christian, but they weren’t wacko or mean. They wanted to have some fun and asked me along. I had a feeling it would be a different kind of event, but I had no idea what it would be like. A very vocal Christian neighbor of my friends informed me that I wouldn’t be Christian if I went to this event. So, I found myself praying and asking God if I should go. I was pretty clear that God wanted me to go, but I couldn’t begin to tell you why. 5 of us hopped into a car and headed to the parade. When I got there, I discovered it was a parade of crossdressers, transgendered men and women, and a bunch of other people. I saw people dressed up for Halloween as baby Jesus, the crucified Jesus, and a squad of men who were dressed and acting as cheerleaders. Needless to say, this is not the regular group I hung out with.  As I walked down Santa Monica Boulevard, it felt as if God was saying. “Now, pray.” It seemed as if I was supposed to be there the pray for the people I saw and to remember that Jesus loves them too.  This image and these people have stuck with me many years later.  Being loving can be awkward. It can feel uncomfortable to be kind when someone is outside of your natural community. But that’s precisely the challenge.  Teach By Example As we teach our kids to be kind, it’s easy to explain them to be kind to the kid they have a bunch in common with. It’s easy to help them to be patient with people who hang out with them regularly. But the challenging and real stuff is when we seek to be kind and patient and not proud or rude or boastful to people who don’t like us, who aren’t kind back.    Keep Trying When you are genuinely loving - aka patient, kind, etc., some people will have a problem with it. People who want anger to be everywhere or are used to having anger everywhere will have a problem with it. That’s okay, be loving anyway. Mother Teresa was a fantastic example of loving your neighbor. She moved to a country very different from her own. At a time when people were dying from famine and disease in a community that ignored them because it must be their lot in life, Mother Teresa started a home for the dead and dying. She expanded that to creating a children’s home. She built up a large community of people who served alongside her in very uncomfortable situations where there was no obvious reward to be received.  This poem is written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta:               People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.             If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.             If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.            If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.             What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.             If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.             The good you do today will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.          Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.          In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.   Our babies are watching. They will learn what we do much faster and more than what we say. If we tell them to be kind and respect others and yet they witness our lack of kindness, they are still being taught. They are sponges.  You won’t always succeed, so be willing to apologize and learn. Then, try again. This applies to how you treat your spouse, especially those of you who have been divorced or still connect with your babies daddy who was never your spouse.  This applies to how you treat in-laws. Romans 12:18 (NLT) Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. As we train our child, we can make it our mantra to remind them to treat others the way you want to be treated which is one way of saying:  Luke 6:31(NLT)  Do to others as you would like them to do to you.   This is a regularly used expression in our home. When my girls fight, as we talk it out and seek to understand one another I often find my self-reminding them to treat each other the way you want to be treated. This doesn’t mean we treat people how we have been treated or how they want to treat us, but how we would want them to treat us.    Go And Do The Same Mommas, we need to do the same to one another, to people we see on T.V., to people we hear about on the radio or podcasts. We are role models, like it or not. They are watching and learning from us all the time.  I want to be clear, this doesn’t mean that we allow people to harm us or abuse us in the name of being loving to them. A drowning person is entitled to want to get out of the water, so please, if this is your situation, get out of the water. Once you are in a safe place, the next step is seeking how to be wise and how to be loving (to the best of your ability).  If you’ve made it this far, then you must have liked or been challenged by what you heard. Would you consider giving a donation to this podcast to help us keep this little boat afloat as long as possible to help as many moms as possible?  Paypal.me/BibleMomming If you know other moms who would be blessed by this, pass it on and share it with them.   

In this episode, I share with you the story behind why and how my youngest daughter and I teamed up to make a pie from every state in the U.S. I'll share with you our favorite pies, the toughest pies, and how you can get the recipes for yourself.    BibleMomming.com

On today’s podcast, I’m interviewing Pastor Rusty George. He is the Lead Pastor at Real Life Church in Southern California; a multi-site church with campuses in Canyon Country, Valencia, and a large online community. Beyond leading his church of 6,000+ members every weekend, Rusty is a global speaker, leader, and teacher focusing his message on helping people find and follow Jesus.  In his recent book, Better Together, Rusty shares what it’s like to be an introvert who longs for community. He shares his process of discovery and how anyone can seek out and build strong connections because Bible believers aren’t meant to learn and grow alone.  I ask him how he was inspired to write this book. In addition, he shares some of his personal struggles and people who have inspired him to continue seeking community. We discuss common challenges moms face as they try to be better together as well as tips on how you can begin and succeed.     Links related to this show: Research on women feeling insecure  PastorRustyGeorge.com Better Together book reallifechurch.org BibleMomming.com Bible Momming Facebook Group 25 Days ’Til Christ: An Advent Family Devotional  

On today’s episode, we are talking about the secrets to having more thankful kids.  Hi Momma’s, So far today I’ve helped my daughter with homework, gotten the dog’s nails trimmed and visited with a friend who is expecting a baby. And now, I’m excited to spend some time with all you beautiful mommas.  I’m drinking my pumpkin spice protein shake because I’m on a detox from Arbonne. A friend of mine has been with Arbonne for years, and I knew that when I finally finished the United States of Pie, where my daughter and I made 50 pies (one from every state in the nation). I knew I would need to cleanse or detox or something like that, so that’s what I’m doing now. I’m also dealing with some challenges with my eye right now because I have an autoimmune disease that flares up occasionally and it’s decided to do that now. I found it funny that today of all days I’m recording this episode on the secrets to thankful kids.  Have you ever felt like the world is spinning and you just want to jump off for a moment to catch your breath but that moment doesn’t seem to come? I’m glad you are joining with me and other mommas as we seek out a way to encourage one another, pray for one another and raise up our kids with a biblical foundation.   I’d love you have you connect with us more, we have a Bible Momming Chat coming this Friday. It’s live, online at 9am, on the first Friday of the month. We’ll be talking about real gratitude and how you have it all year round. If you want to know more, you can get the newsletter at BibleMomming.com, and you’ll receive all the latest information for the Bible Momming community.  Now that we’ve begun November, we automatically start thinking about being thankful. Some of us do our thankful posts. Some of us take pictures of things we are grateful for. Maybe you make a Thankful board on Pinterest. And then we notice our kids. We hear their griping louder at this time of year because we just want them to stop whining and be more grateful. If this sounds like your house, then you aren’t alone.  I remember visiting a restaurant when my oldest daughter was 2 years old and guiding her on how to order. When the order came, I told her in front of the waitress, "Say, thank you."  My daughter complied and said, "Thank you," as she received her food.  This seemed to surprise the woman who served us, and she said, "How did you do that?"  I was a bit confused because I thought she saw me guide my daughter, but I also realized that not everyone knows to guide their kids this way and not everyone had been guided by a caring adult in their life.  Let me tell you, mommas, this is something you can do. You can do it with your toddler, your Kinderkid, your Tween, and even your teen.  Oxford did a recent study that showed, it’s never too late to give parenting advice. You’d be surprised at how much our kids listen and notice.    Here are the Secrets: 1. Be an Example How well do you appreciate the people around you?  Your kids are noticing and taking mental notes.  We model thankfulness when we say... - thank you to the cashier - thank you to the waiter/waitress - thank you on the phone - thank you to your spouse and/or to your children - thank you in prayer   2. Teach Them  For many of us, thankfulness was taught to us in the Bible. We can direct our kids to these verses by reading to them, posting them in the house, and challenging them to memorize them.  Thankful Bible Verses Ps 75:1 “We thank you O God! We give thanks because you are near.  People everywhere tell of your wonderful deeds.”   1 Chron. 16:34 “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!His faithful love endures forever.”   Phil 1:3 “Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.”   Ephesians 5:20 “And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”   3. Practice Gratitude (even when it doesn’t feel comfortable) Consider the tough moments in life. What can you still be thankful for? Suppose your car broke down, or you have bills up the kazoo, how can you still be thankful? My car door is currently slightly crumpled because of an accident that occurred while I was training my daughter on how to drive. It would be easy to let that overcome me, but I know I can be grateful that she learned a valuable lesson at a very slow speed and everyone came out alright. When I went to Toastmasters, I headed up a mentoring program for young speakers to gain guidance from advanced speakers.  In their training for mentees, it actually said to remind them to be thankful. This seems obvious, but it can often be overlooked.   4. Practice at Home  Actors rehearse so that the show goes well. Athletes work out, so the muscles know what to do when they are needed.  This momming thing isn’t an instant satisfaction type of gig. It’s a long haul, I’m with you through thick and thin kind of thing. We will be repeating ourselves often. The stuff we repeat the most will be the things our kids learn best.  We need to have them practice things like saying, "Thank you," and "Please," at home so that they will do it when they are out and about.  We have to spell it out.  You can let them practice it at home in family prayers. Around Thanksgiving,  you can challenge them to write what they are thankful for on post-its or note cards. You can get a bunch of ideas on Pinterest. The month of November is a great way to develop a habit by doing it for 30 days. It takes at least 30 days to form a habit…what if we start practicing thankfulness now and do it past Thanksgiving so that we show our kids we can do it all year.  You can teach them to send thank you letters, thank you emails, thank you texts, or even thank you Instagrams. They will resist, and they will push back because they are testing to see how important this really is to you and in life. If you decide it’s a value to you, they will begin to consider it as a value for them.    Research on the Value of Thankfulness   Grateful people      - open the door to more friendships     - have better mental and physical health     - are more empathetic     - are less aggressive     - sleep better     - have better self-esteem   You can read the article here.    Don’t quit on them and don’t quit on you, believe in the possibilities thankfulness will give and keep trying. It takes years to raise a child, repetition will happen. Keep going!   If you enjoy this podcast, please consider making a donation to keep this little boat afloat. Donate Here.

Welcome to the Bible Momming podcast this is Episode 10. I’m your host Paula Whidden. I’m an author, pastor, wife, and mom. I’ve taught kids and teens how to understand the bible for 30 years, and now I’m here to help you raise your kids with a biblical foundation. On today’s show, I’m continuing my conversation with singer/songwriter Mandie Pinto about what it was like to discover that her daughter had brain cancer. Before we begin though, I want to give you an opportunity to share with me your stories about when you experienced suffering in your family. You can tell me your frustrations as well as your feelings of success if that happened to you. I want to hear all perspectives. You can contact me at BibleMomming.com/contact Also, if you have questions, I would love if you would share your concerns with me on the topic of suffering, prayer, the bible or whatever you want. The first Friday of the month at 9am, I am having an online Bible Momming Chat where we discuss the things that matter to you. I’ll be answering those questions, to the best of my ability there. You can get all the details about the chats by joining the Facebook Bible Momming group or my newsletter at BibleMomming.com. Just scroll down the home page at the bottom and fill out the little form for our newsletter. I regularly send out info to my newsletter to let them know about what’s going on in the Bible Momming community. Mandie Continues - On Cancer  Now on today's episode, Mandie Pinto and I had a great conversation last week about her music, and we just started talking about her daughter and what it was like to learn that she had cancer, but because Mandie is so open and honest we continued talking and it became another episode.  If you missed the first part of our conversation, you would want to go back and listen to Ep 9. Mandie is a prolific artist with 8 independent solo albums. She’s performed and led worship across the U.S. everywhere from the Georgia dome to the small backcountry church. In our previous conversation, she shared that as she was creating her latest album Hold My Everything, she and her husband Jeremy learned that their oldest daughter Bridget had brain cancer. As we continue talking, she shares what it was like for her to learn this news and help her daughter face it with confidence and a sense of peace. She shares how she keeps hopeful and how she helped her two girls to work through not even getting to see one another because of chemotherapy and safety concerns. Mandie's favorite Bible verse right now is.. John 16:33  "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” Links from this Episode BibleMomming.com Michael Hoefflin Foundation MandiePinto.com Hold My Everything Mandie on - Instagram/Twitter Help us create a community here for moms so that we don’t feel alone, share this with a friend. 

Do you have questions about the bible, marriage, prayer…you can contact me at BibleMomming.com/contact or Paula@BibleMomming.com. I would love to hear your questions. Then, I’ll be answering them at one of our monthly Bible Momming Chats. They are the first Friday of the month. You can get all the details by joining the Facebook Bible Momming group or the Bible Momming newsletter. This week, I’m talking with singer-songwriter Mandi Pinto. She’s a mom of two beautiful daughters and an extraordinary worship leader. We will be talking about her newest album Hold My Everything as well as what was going on with her family while she created and released it. Mandie heard the call to minister through music and set out to sing at churches throughout the United States. God has given her the blessed privilege of leading and/or performing at churches and other venues all over the United States. Mandie has independently recorded and released eight solo albums in the last 26 years. Mandie is an accomplished songwriter, with several of her songs winning notable awards in the Billboard Song Contest and the John Lennon Songwriting Contest. Mandie has recorded for Nintendo, NAMCO, Toyota, Disney and the theme song to Miss Spider on Nickelodeon, as well as many children albums. She attends and serves as a Worship Leader at Shepherd Church in Porter Ranch, CA. When not serving at Shepherd Church, Mandie leads worship and/or performs at churches and conference centers weekly across the country. In the midst of prepping and releasing her latest project, her daughter Bridget was diagnosed with brain cancer. You will want to stick around and hear Mandie’s story which is so amazing that I had to give it two episodes. If you have ever wondered where God is when suffering happens, this episode isn’t to be missed. I talk with Mandie about her favorite music ministry experiences and what it’s like to be an independent artist who creates and funds her own albums. She also candidly shares what it was like to discover that her daughter had brain cancer while also creating a worship-filled album. For more info on Mandie go to MandiePinto.com Get her album, Hold My Everything. She mentioned a helpful tool to connect with people who prayed for Bridget called, The Caring Bridge. 

Bible Momming in Wisconsin has its own unique challenges. This episode addresses postpartum depression, Kindergarten mom fears and even ministry to strippers. I'm talking with Val Vanderpal, mom of two adorable young children. She's a pastor's wife and working mom who loves to exercise, connect with people and reach out to women many people avoid. If you are dealing with postpartum depression or know someone who is here are a couple of articles with more details on the topic of depression.       PostPartum Depression Depression of Any Kind If you are looking for a church in Wisconsin, Val's husband Jason is the executive pastor at The Ridge Community Church. They have three locations: one in Greenfield, one in Oak Creek, and one online.  If you are interested in doing ministry for stippers in your area, check out StripChurch.com

Intro  Hi Mommas, I’m so glad to talk with you today. Our topic of the day is Halloween. We’re dealing with our own hangups and how the Bible fits with this holiday.  I’ve got some tea here in my beautiful Bible Momming mug that a friend made me on this beautiful fall day. This is my favorite time of year. And, Halloween is just around the corner.  The costumes and plastic decor is in just about every store I visit from the home goods stores to the grocery stores to Walmart and more.  I’ve been thinking about this episode for a while and wondering what I had to bring to you on it. I was tempted to not talk about out, but so many people take stands on this holiday either for or against it, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s gaining in popularity. Probably because companies have figured out ways to make good money off it and us, but I’ve seen that stores have just as much stuff for Halloween as they have for Christmas.  I’ve spoken with people who don’t like Christmas because of the emotional problems their family has at that time. Because of that, they pour their energy into Halloween as an opportunity to just have fun.  So, here I sit, looking at my microphone that is decorated like a stuffed owl. I call it Uhu, because that’s German for a barn owl, or so I’ve been told. And, I’m wondering what I can add to this discussion.   My Hang Ups Personally, I’ve gone through many different emotions on this holiday. When I was young, I dressed up and went trick or treating, I’ve been to many Halloween parties that friends invited me to attend. But it often conflicted with my faith. As a research maniac, I dug into the history of the day and how people have historically done some pretty nasty stuff as a way of “celebrating.” I wasn’t cool with that, so I went through a stage of life where I completely avoided all things Halloween.  As a youth pastor, I was put in charge of our churches Fall festival, because many churches do that right. We love fall, but we don’t want to go down the track of celebrating things like horror monsters and ghosts and ghouls. I was trying to be open while putting boundaries up, so I encouraged people to come in costume but I hyper encouraged the idea of All Saints Day and celebrating believers who had gone before….FYI, they have some gory stories, and it wouldn’t be unusual for them to be killed in some gruesome way. Needless to say, that didn’t turn out the way I had hoped.  I think many churches and individuals go through the same struggles. How do we enjoy this holiday that has such a dark past? And, how do we help our kids through it when they are just plain freaked out by the level of gore people put on their lawns.  Other Perspectives 1. When it comes to Halloween, some people just find it silly and embrace it like any other fantasy ideas (like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Star Trek, and horror movies). For them, it’s just another fantasy fiction kind of thing.  2. Some people enjoy the connection with neighbors that is uniquely available on this day. I asked the Bible Momming Facebook group what their opinions were of Halloween and here are a couple of responses I received.  “I LOVE Halloween. It's the one time (sadly) when the neighbors come out and visit. I have the BEST conversations with them as they come to the door and I love seeing all of my kids' friends visit too." another said…. “Love it! Great night of community and bringing neighbors together. I also like the decorating, costumes, and candy. I only wish it was always the last Friday in October instead of the 31st.” One mom shared her frustrations saying, "Having special needs kids, I always dreaded Halloween. It's always been way too overwhelming for them. My introvert would have panic attacks about talking to strangers, and my extrovert would walk into strangers houses!… until we found this wonderful lady in our town who organizes this awesome hay ride truck or treat in her neighborhood!  No one ever trick or treats there cause it's all dirt roads and no lights. Her and her neighbors were bummed they couldn't see any kids. So she has a sign-up list of specific houses that wish to participate, and we start at her house with a bbq... everybody brings both a side dish and a large bag of candy to donate. After we eat we load up on flatbed trucks with hay bails and are driven to each house on the list!…BEST way to spend Halloween EVER!!" 3. Some people embrace the dark stuff (luckily, they are in the minority). 4. Some people close the door, turn off the front porch light and do something completely unrelated.    Stuff From The Bible You may be expecting me to say that I know the exact right way this day should be handled. But, I don’t. You see, the Bible isn’t strictly about rules and consequences. It does take into account the differences in our backgrounds and the differences in how we view the world.  When we consider how the Bible fits this, I find myself going to Romans. The Apostle Paul wrote a letter to the Roman believers to help them know how to handle some of the stresses around them. And they lived in a seriously stressful world for Bible believers.  In Rome, their holidays were ALL about worshipping some deity (none of them the one true God). They had four significant holidays that included women being beaten or forcibly taken as wives, animal sacrifices,  So, Paul knew the kind of stuff people were doing when he wrote this letter. One big debate among believers in Christ was whether you should eat food that was sacrificed to a god (little g) or drink wine. Now I know that Halloween isn’t about that, but it is about how we view other people’s way of dealing with stuff that’s not in line with scripture.  Romans 14:12-15, and 23  "Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall. I know and am convinced on the authority of the Lord Jesus that no food, in and of itself, is wrong to eat. But if someone believes it is wrong, then for that person it is wrong. And if another believer is distressed by what you eat, you are not acting in love if you eat it. Don’t let your eating ruin someone for whom Christ died. … But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning." As I’ve considered these verses, I found myself wondering if I was trying too hard to avoid and not looking at people to connect with them. I started realizing that I needed to meet people where they were and not get caught up in what other people did on this day but just what the people I know are doing.    How My Thoughts Changed Our pastor encouraged people to use this day to get to know our neighbors better. We decided to have a kind of open house at our church on Halloween so that our church could connect with the neighbors and people who tend to be scared of church buildings could walk around inside and check it out without any expectation of getting preached to. People came in droves. It was unreal. So many people were seeking something safe and fun for their family.  It’s become the leading party I do for Halloween, and yes we call it Halloween because that’s what most people know about.  I would love to hear what you do for Halloween and your reasons for or against something. You can contact me by going to biblemomming.com/connect  Feel free to ask me any questions you have about the Bible or Halloween.    Ways to Deal With The Gore If you have small kids between the ages of 2 and 7 and they are terrified of the gory masks and bloody things in the many stores, my approach was to have them touch it and see that it isn't scary. I let mine crumple some of those soft masks and we even made home made blood with corn syrup and food coloring to help them realize it was pretend.    You can also create your own options like focusing on the "dark" critters. Black cats, bats and spiders are all creations of God and beautiful in His creation, in their own way. This can be a time for you to learn more about them with your children.  It can also be a time to let them know that we all have skeletons that God designed within our bodies and they help us to stand and walk and do all the things we do. Without our skeletons, we are pretty much blobs of goo.    Dealing with Greed Halloween can also be a time when kids get super greedy about all that candy. They get into mine, mine, all mine mode. This isn't something to encourage. So, we often sought out ways to limit how much candy they ate at one time. I even encouraged them to give some to Dad's work or organizations that collected for soldiers stationed overseas. Out of their plenty, they learned to give to others.    Participate While Not Embracing the Darker Elements of This Day 1. Trick or Treat and seek out ways to connect with your neighbors, to meet them and talk more. Make it fun. 2. Help your kids to choose their costumes wisely.  3. Think care not scare - there’s nothing wrong with scaring the kids who come to your door, but do it with a caring attitude. Some kids freak out, and parents will give you the heads up, care first.  4. Help your family to focus their thoughts. As a multiple-car-accident survivor, I know that there are things that are truly scary and then there is Hollywood scary.  You have to decide where you will fix your thoughts this Halloween.  5. Remember, other people have their own stories and their own reasons for participating and not participating.    Not sure what to do? Think about these verses: Philippians 4:8-9 "And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you." As we seek to be wise mommas, it’s tough to know what is right or wrong for our kids. Remember we are called guardians for a reason. We guard our kids against the people or things that want to cause them harm. Consider your story and your kids and remember...   Proverbs 4:23 "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."   If you need some fun ideas for your kids, I created a Pinterest board called Halloween Family Fun. Check it out, I hope it helps you.   

Today, I'm talking with Anissa Simon. She's a missionary with Josiah Venture in the Czech Republic alongside her husband Cory and daughter Era. We talk about what led them from Southern California to the Czech Republic and what she does in this ministry. We also talked about how things changed when their daughter Era arrived. We learn about cultural differences and the great people of the Czech Republic. We also talk about her fears as a mom and the ways she has discovered and developed support.    If you want to support the Simons. Go to JosiahVenture.com/Simon  

Today, I'm bringing you some ideas to help your marriage. This podcast is for married mommas, but also for single mommas who hope to be married in the future. Planning ahead helps to prepare you for success. As a youth and children’s pastor, I’ve connected with many families who’ve experienced divorce as well as separations. These things don’t just damage your marriage and your heart. They hurt your kids. They remove a sense of security in their lives.  When I was a kid, I felt it and dealt with these things myself. I cannot remember a time my parents lived together.  When I was 10, they decided to get a divorce. When they were together you could cut the tension in the air most of the time or they were straight up yelling. Then, my dad, brother and I got in a catastrophic car accident that killed my father one week before my parents were scheduled to go to court. This left me with the sense that I didn’t know what a happy home or happy marriage looked like. I ended up seeking out families with healthy relationships and adopting them as extended family. In the midst of it, God taught me some amazing things. Since that time, I have coached with over 100 couples. Many of them struggle because of personality clashes and expectations, but the addition of kids only magnifies the problems.  Kids bring joy but they also bring stress on us personally and on our marriage. Here are some of the issues we address at various ages in the lives of our children: Infant - lack of sleep, who does what Toddler - what to say and when to say it, discipline, chaos management, food ideas, continued fatigue Elementary age - what to say and when to say it, how to build friendships, school expectations, drugs and alcohol (sometimes) outside activities (affording or choosing what they can do), dating, discipline, chaos management, food ideas, continued….FATIGUE Jr. high - fresh new emotions, friendship drama, drugs and alcohol, the boy/girl thing, places to put energy, school expectations, outside activities, discipline, chaos/time management, food, early money management, and exhaustion. High School - Emotional stress, Relationship drama, the boy/girl thing, drugs and alcohol, how to get/keep a job, driving training and trials, planning for college or a trade, places to put energy, school expectations, outside activities, discipline, chaos/time management, food, early money management, and we are so amazingly tired.  Oh, and I happen to be married too. It’s easy to get caught up in the needs of our children and neglect marriage needs. Because hey, your husband is an adult, and he doesn’t need you as much, or so you tell yourself. WHAT RELATIONSHIP WORKS THAT WAY? Friends need to spend time with friends in order to remain friends. That doesn’t stop just because you got married. The best thing parents can do for their children is work on their marriage  Parents Magazine had an article called “Happy Parents, Happy Kids.” In it, Philip Cowen, PhD, a professor at the University of California, Berkeley said, "Kids whose parents' relationship has cooled are more likely to have behavioral or academic problems than kids of happy couples."  As we’re Bible Momming, we need to lean on biblical guidance for our relationships.  This goes for our kids but also for our marriages.  Here are a couple:  Ecclesiastes 4:12 [Full Chapter] "A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken."   1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 [Full Chapter] "Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."   Prayer is a mystical thing that will help your marriage and your family. When praying for your marriage, consider the who, what, when, where, why and how's. Who:   You can pray on your own or with your husband. You can pray together or apart.  What:  Pray for…not against your husband.  Pray for the team of you When: You can pray whenever you want. For my husband and me, we like to pray in the morning. Meals can be reminders and a way to witness to the kiddos. You can pray in the middle of the day, even as you are driving,  Where:  You can pray in the kitchen, the living room, the bedroom, the car, the park, or wherever you want. There is no special place where you are closer to God. Though personally, I do enjoy praying outside, but I don’t do that all the time. Why:  Through prayer, we acknowledge God’s sovereign ability to make a difference in our lives and the lives of others. It’s an act of submission and recognition of God’s composition. He is capable of more than we can imagine.  He is our Creator (thus He knows more about us than we do). He’s our savior (thus He’s rooting for us). He’s our friend (thus He believes in and encourages us). There are many reasons why we pray, here are a few mentioned in the Bible:  To resist temptation -  Matthew 26:41  "Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!” to receive healing - James 5:16 "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results." to be forgiven - 2 Chronicles 7:14 "Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land." to seek freedom from fears - Psalm 34:4 "I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears."   to share your pain - Psalm 102:2 "Don’t turn away from me in my time of distress. Bend down to listen, and answer me quickly when I call to you." How: Believe you will receive (you do not receive because you do not ask) Be open-minded in recognizing God’s answer is God’s answer - God is not a vending machine Be supportive Be kind in your prayers Participate in the prayer…faith without work is dead Be thankful If you pray together, seek quiet spaces for that precious time. Contact your husband when something comes up and you would like prayer. Also, offer to pray for him. Send a text asking him how his day going and how you can pray for him. Even if he doesn’t want prayer, offer occasionally so that he knows you think of him. If he adamantly doesn’t want it, you can still pray quietly to God in a way that is uniquely between Him and you.  Make prayer a habit in your marriage because habits are amazing things. When you make it a habit, you’ll notice ways that God is guiding and helping you as you seek His direction and support for your relationship. You may find that you notice your husband's strengths more. You may find that you appreciate him more. You may find that you feel more romantic because of these things. You may find that you fight in a kinder way. You may find that you don’t feel alone when tough times come at you.  This constant connection with Your creator has an over flowing effect in many other parts of your life including your marriage.  Mommas if you need the encouragement of other mommas, come on over and join our Bible Momming Facebook group. We pray for one another, encourage one another, and laugh at the strange things that moms do sometimes.      Also, if you are considering solar power and live in Southern California, contact Green Convergence and tell them I sent you.  GreenConvergence.com  or (661) 491-5111

1. What is Grace?  It's not a prayer at dinner or a way we walk    Grace is... Forgiveness without conditions Letting go of a debt   2. Who is it for?  In practical terms in our homes... Your Husband Your Children Your Friends Your Church  Your Leaders Even the guy who took your parking space   Do you remember the Golden Rule? Matthew 7:12 “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets." We all want grace. Even if we aren’t receiving it, we can still give it.    3. Why do we do it? Because Jesus gave it to us Acts 15:11 "We believe that we are all saved the same way, by the undeserved grace of the Lord Jesus.”   Ephesians 2:8-9 "God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it." If we recognize grace as undeserved forgiveness, then when we read Paul’s comments in Ephesians it becomes very personal. Ephesians 4:32 "Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." Mommas, a lot of us get angry, we get frustrated because momming is hard. But that’s just a bigger opportunity to give grace and understand the depth of God’s grace as result.  Our kids are watching and learning from us (like it or not). We teach it and live it so that they grab it. They will end up doing not just what we say or want them to learn, but what they see us doing.  4. How do we do it? Recognize your limitations…we cannot give it on the same scale as God. Practice, practice, practice - Practice doesn’t make you perfect, but it does make you a lot better than when you first started practicing. You have to have rules so that you can forgive. Romans 5:20 "God’s law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant." By being persistent - You’ll get tired of trying, do it anyway, The more we do it, the more we understand and receive God’s grace. You’ll feel frustrated by it, do it anyway Take tiny steps - The size of the step don't take away the fact that you took a step. Be real (kids can tell the difference) Be willing to ask for forgiveness too.    If you would like encouragement, prayer and support from other mommas, join the Facebook Bible Momming Group.   

Every momma has fears. In this podcast, Paula addresses common fears and some of her own fears along with God’s response to our fears. Many people throughout the Bible faced extraordinarily difficult circumstances. Repeatedly, God encouraged them to not fear because He is present. He is available. He will and does help.  We read about God’s response to Joshua’s fear here:  Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” The Apostle Paul reminded people how God helps us when we feel fear. 2 Timothy 1:7  “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”   Here’s how to do it: Prayer - ask God for help when you feel fearful Spend Time in God’s Word Seek open doors and wisdom - God will provide a way out. Be the parent/ gatekeeper Communicate Often - talk, listen, and love   You can find verses to help at http://www.PaulaWhidden.com/fearless Get our newsletter at PaulaWhidden.com Join the Bible Momming Facebook Group

On this episode, I address different schooling choices we have.  School options: Regular Public School Private school Homeschool Public Homebased Charter School  I'll share why our family made our choice. I also give you an idea of the options available to you so that you can make the wise choice for your own family.    Here are some links to help you discern the differences.  Charter School Information -  K12 - computer based charter school  National Allegience for Public Charter Schools I googled "find a charter school near me" and found… California Charter School Association   Homeschool Information -  Home School Legal Defense Association National Homeschool Association      

Today, we’re talking about the chaos we all feel at this time of year. We all struggle with the many expectations placed on us. In this time we have, I’ll share some of my own struggles and ways that you can face them with confidence and a sense of joy and peace within that chaos.  Have your schools started yet? Ours began a couple of weeks ago, and it was crazy. There are certain things about this time of year that make me feel unbalanced. I think we all experience this in different ways. For some of us, it’s the change of the season that messes with us. I used to always get ill right when the seasons change.  At this time, it can often feel as if I have 3 new bosses with strong opinions on how I use my time and energy.  One boss is me. I expect myself to be on top of it all. I want my skills to match whatever is thrown at me. Do you ever feel that way? Mommas we often handle so many different tasks that we can become overwhelmed. For me, this time often feels as if I’m right on the edge of sanity.  My second new boss is the school. Depending on the age of my kids, I get a little used to this boss having a say in my life, but the tension of starting it all over each fall never seems to go away. The school sends home many assignments for my kids that I do and don’t understand. They also submit many papers for me to sign and in our area, we also have earthquake kits. I know other parts of the country have their own kind of emergency supplies. The idea is that in case of an earthquake, the school has specific supplies on hand if I cannot come and help my child at the moment. They want us to get food, some kind of game, a family picture and other things to bring calm to my child in case of an emergency. Unfortunately, this takes much-needed creativity from my brain, and I often finish getting this done after I’ve done all the other starting school requirements. My kids start acting like my 3rd boss. Actually, they try to do this all the time, but I feel it more at this time of year. That’s because they get told what they need from the school, or they feel pressure from their friends for certain clothes or hairstyles. They also tell me what kind of supplies they need or think they need for the classroom. It always changes and what I knew the year before doesn’t necessarily apply this year.  When you add the expectations of my new bosses to my already busy schedule, I get anxious and tense. I don’t think I’m the only one who feels this way.  Mommas, we often hold the load for the whole family. We keep things moving forward. We connect everyone with each other. We bring the sanity.  But what happens when momma doesn’t feel the sanity? My husband likes to say that if momma isn’t happy, no one is happy. I didn’t like that expression for a long time, but I’ve witnessed how much truth there is in those comments. It doesn’t feel like I could possibly have that kind of effect on my strong-willed family, but I do, and I’ll bet you do too. When we feel overwhelmed by life, we often find ourselves getting less sleep which leads to getting easily angered or saying things we don’t want to say. We forget to take care of ourselves because the needs of everyone else are so all-consuming.  Over the years, I’ve felt these struggles and sought guidance then I had to implement that guidance in my own life. Here are some things I’ve learned so that you can feel joy and peace in the midst of that craziness. Breathe  We need to take a short pause. You can do that in many different ways. You could wake early and just relax in the quiet before everyone else gets up. Or, you could turn off the radio or podcasts for a while you wait for your children after school or at some activity they do. You could offer to take the dog for a walk, and that becomes your quiet time. Whatever works for you. Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God!"   We expect so much from ourselves that just acknowledging and trusting those words bring a calm that we need.  Write it down  I never used to make lists, but as the expectations added up I started losing track of what was happening when. So, I started list making. It doesn’t require detailed grammar or a particular design. Just give yourself clues that make sense to you and recheck it during the day. There is something incredibly satisfying about drawing a line through it or checking it or whatever lights you up. When you are in the circle of momming, and you find yourself repeating the same things it can often feel as if you did nothing. Your list proves what you did and how valuable it is.  Seek help from other mommas We all have tips and tricks that work for us. When we are honest about our challenges, we invite others to be honest too. Then, we start to learn from one another. That’s why I created the Bible Momming facebook group. I wanted a group away from the main wall of FB to share my gunk while also encouraging others and praying together. You are welcome to join us.  Join the Bible Momming Group Here.  Regularly Pray  Ask God for wisdom as a momma and for wisdom for your children in this new school year. As a believer in Christ, this seems so obvious, but we often get caught up in the busy-ness that we forget to actually seek God’s direction in our lives. James 4:2 says, “Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it.” As a mom, I know that there are times I’m available for my kids but I’ve learned that forcing my help on them isn’t kind and it isn’t always welcome, so I wait for them to ask for my help. God does that too. He’s ready to give us guidance and calm our anxieties, but He won’t force Himself on us. We have to ask. We won’t always get an instant understanding or direction, but when I pray, I often feel calmer just because I recognize who really supplies all my needs.  Though it feels chaotic, let me encourage you with these words from Isaiah 45:18: "For the Lord is God, and he created the heavens and earth and put everything in place. He made the world to be lived in, not to be a place of empty chaos. “I am the Lord,” he says, “and there is no other." Mommas, I know this season is stressful, but it is possible to feel calm in the chaos and even have joy. You can do this.