Easy Way Out

Need help? Shoot me a text!In this episode, John provides a comprehensive overview of self love in the context of healing from trauma and mental illness. Key points discussed include common myths and misconceptions about self love, such as vanity, narcissism, and selfishness, and how these ideas are influenced by religious and cultural backgrounds. John also addresses the obstacles to self love such as dogma, avoidance patterns, cognitive biases around responsibility and service, the addiction to earning love, self hatred, and the distrust of oneself. 00:00 Introduction to Self Love and Healing00:42 Myths and Misconceptions About Self Love01:59 Religious Influences on Self Love03:06 The Impact of Narcissism and Hubris04:59 Selfishness and Self Love07:05 Evangelical Whiplash and Cognitive Dissonance12:08 Clearing the Path for True Self Love14:56 Obstacles to Self Love15:46 Dogma and Religious Upbringing20:59 Patterning and Avoidance22:17 Cognitive Bias of Responsibility and Service26:26 Addiction to Earning Love28:20 Self Hatred and Compulsions33:15 Healing the Divide Within37:52 Conclusion and Next Steps To inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.comBuy my book! 75 EASY: the ultimate challenge for personal growthAmazon USUKCAAUWeight loss coaching - Join the Weight Loss Freedom Academy todayJoin the free "Lose Weight with John" community Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter siteWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

Need help? Shoot me a text!People Pleasing is f**king you up way more than you think.In this episode, John Oakes explores the concept of people pleasing, revealing that it is often not about making others happy but a survival mechanism rooted in childhood. He discusses how this behavior can significantly affect mental health, weight loss goals, and overall wellbeing. Through the example of a character named Cindy, John illustrates the consequences of prioritizing others over oneself and offers steps to reclaim personal freedom and assertiveness. He also shares insights into the deep-rooted fears that drive people pleasing and provides guidance on how to begin breaking free from these patterns.00:00 Introduction to People Pleasing00:45 Personal Story and Mission01:34 Understanding People Pleasing and Weight Struggles04:22 The Case of Cindy: A People Pleaser's Life14:43 Childhood Roots of People Pleasing19:19 The Impact of People Pleasing in Adulthood23:45 Understanding the Nature of Control and People Pleasing24:17 Steps to Break Free from People Pleasing27:06 Facing Your Fears and Setting Boundaries29:45 The Importance of Self-Care and Personal Wellbeing33:50 Accepting Your Reality and Needs38:45 The Journey to Emotional Freedom40:51 Conclusion and Coaching Information Buy my book! 75 EASY: the ultimate challenge for personal growthAmazon USUKCAAUWeight loss coaching - Join the Weight Loss Freedom Academy todayJoin the free "Lose Weight with John" communityTo inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter siteWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

Need help? Shoot me a text!In this episode, John tackles one of the greatest tragedies of unhealed trauma: the fact that it causes us to vehemently reject good things in life. Why, every day, millions of people actively reject opportunity, money, and caring relationships.How childhood trauma creates a false frame of reference that warps adult judgment.How this warped judgment causes good people to reject good things.Why people get scared when they near a genuine opportunity for change.Why we distract from the misery of our lives (and not just to avoid misery)How this phenomenon forms a negative feedback loop that traps usHow we can slowly but surely free ourselves from this trapHow we can expand the possibilities for our lives by identifying and dismantling this malformed aspect of the psyche. Buy my book! 75 EASY: the ultimate challenge for personal growthAmazon USUKCAAUWeight loss coaching - Join the Weight Loss Freedom Academy todayJoin the free "Lose Weight with John" communityTo inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter siteWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

Need help? Shoot me a text!Long term weight loss is a campaign, not a single battle. We'd love for the journey to be all success and rainbows, but it usually isn't. If your mental health issues have caused your weight problem, then chances are, they will flare up at some point, putting your progress in serious jeopardy. Today, I'm going to share with you a way of living that helps me avoid weight regain even when I am doing poorly and going off the rails. Buy my book! 75 EASY: the ultimate challenge for personal growthAmazon USUKCAAUWeight loss coaching - Join the Weight Loss Freedom Academy todayJoin the free "Lose Weight with John" communityTo inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter siteWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

We all have dark thoughts sometimes, but if you have trauma or severe mental health issues, these thoughts can be WAY darker and stronger. Usually, you are taught to just white-knuckle through it, but there is an approach to dealing with dark thoughts that will not only help you stay safe and unharmed but help you move toward deeper healing.You can learn to see these difficult thoughts and emotions as a doorway into healing rather than merely as a liability or threat to your wellbeing.Do you need to heal so you can lose weight? Emotional eater? Unmotivated? Join my free community full of courses, support and interaction with me. -- https://www.skool.com/lwwj/aboutInterested in 1-1 coaching for weight loss and emotional healing?email me at john@oakesweightloss.com#trauma #mentalhealth Buy my book! 75 EASY: the ultimate challenge for personal growthAmazon USUKCAAUWeight loss coaching - Join the Weight Loss Freedom Academy todayJoin the free "Lose Weight with John" communityTo inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter siteWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

In this episode, coach John recounts a story of Cindy and her weight loss journey from 350 lbs to where she is today.This offers a picture of what successful and sustainable weight loss looks like while begging the question, "How did she become this version of herself?"John discusses the five non-negotiable steps that every person has to go through it they want to heal and lose weight for good.  Buy my book! 75 EASY: the ultimate challenge for personal growthAmazon USUKCAAUWeight loss coaching - Join the Weight Loss Freedom Academy todayTo inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter siteJoin the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

That's right! My first book in the the fitness or personal development space is available for purchase now.In this episode I explain what my book is about, why I wrote it and what you can get from it. Get your copy now and please leave me a review!75 EASY - Amazon USAmazon UKAmazon CanadaAmazon Australia Buy my book! 75 EASY: the ultimate challenge for personal growthAmazon USUKCAAUWeight loss coaching - Join the Weight Loss Freedom Academy todayTo inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter siteJoin the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

In this episode, John embarks on a discussion of three key principles to easier, more successful and more sustainable weight loss. Topics include:Common fears about weight loss coaching or programs in generalWhy people shy away from getting the help they needThe power of observing life before changing anythingThe way to play "jenga" with your dietHow to enter calorie deficits in the easiest way possibleHow to figure out the optimal calorie deficit for your best results. Introducing: The E.A.S.Y. Weight Loss Club - Join now while it's cheap!To inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter siteJoin the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

In this episode, John discusses the popular fitness and mental toughness challenge, 75 Hard.Topics include:why 75 Hard is emblematic of our self-improvement culturewhere our fitness and self-improvement culture routinely lets us down and keeps us stuckwhy challenges usually serve as litmus tests rather than something that produces growththe problem with pursuing "toughness" in service of successthe problem of seeking out adversitywhy compliance and consistency are not surefire paths to personal success, but more often paths to serving the needs of otherswhy society does not want you to trust yourselfwhy we willfully ignore easy ways to improve our lives or selveshow 75 Hard and the culture it represents cause people to deepen their mental illnesses If you want to: Email a question to be answered on the podcast or Inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John You can email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter siteJoin the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

In this episode, John recounts the blessings of 2023. In particular, he draws attention to the foods and possessions that made the year great. He covers everything from fitness wearables to powdered peanut butter.Topics include:The benefits of polyamorous garagesPoor flower bed soil (I mean absolute trash)An ode to dairy productsJohn's sick home gym set upBuying rubber mats from a tweakerJohn's Costco go-to itemsand more! If you want to: Email a question to be answered on the podcast or Inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John You can email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter siteJoin the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

In this podcast episode, John explains how a noble emotion like obligation has come to wreak so much havoc in our behavior. To understand this, he explores the evolution of human societies, the evolutionary context of obligation, and the role of authority. Topics include:How and why human society originated in the form of autonomous, self-sustaining clansWhy increasing social complexity became crucial for survivalWhy social complexity gave birth to authority as we think of it todayHow this fundamentally altered the role of obligationThe challenges faced by prehistoric societies, highlighting the resilience and intelligence of prehistoric humans. The importance of self-trust, autonomy, and boundaries, and how these are connected to motivation.Criticism of the fitness industryThe importance of self-relianceWhy self-reliance is important to creating strong communitiesEncouraging self-care, self-trust, and self-love in navigating life's journey. If you want to: Email a question to be answered on the podcast or Inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John You can email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter siteJoin the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

In this podcast episode, host John explores the concept of motivation from a fresh persepctive.Topics Include:Why motivation is better understood as a throttle rather than a resevoirThe three biggest impediments to motivationThe three biggest drivers of innate motivationWhy we should never look for motivation on the outsideThe fitness industry's exploitation of people's lack of motivationThe role of influencers in creating a false sense of need via performative disciplineThe way authority turns innate desires into external obligationsHow fear of failure dampens your abilitiesHow shame restricts your permission to actHow obligation, shame and fear of failure when combined at the same time are the recipe for burnout. John encouraging listeners to not wait until the new year to move in a positive direction. If you want to: Email a question to be answered on the podcast or Inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John You can email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter siteJoin the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

You'll get the JOURNEY thing once you listen.In this episode, John sits down with Mark, one of his very first clients, to reflect on the bigger picture of weight loss and all he has learned on his "journey."Topics Include:Mark's journey with intuitive eating (its strengths and limitations)The importance of body acceptanceMark's experiences of studying psychology in college and the ways it has impacted his life (workout outside of mental health)Mark's outlook on parentingThe challenges faced by mental health professionalsWhy you should separate fitness from weight loss.John opens up about why his coaching is "different"John's (quite terrifying) ultimate goal with his work If you want to: Email a question to be answered on the podcast or Inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John You can email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter siteJoin the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

In this podcast episode, John reflects on his relationship with caffeine and other stimulants, discussing their role in his life from childhood to adulthood. Topics discussed:How John unwittingly became a caffeine junkie in early childhood.The role caffeine played in his childhoodThe impacts this had on his psyche and wellbeingHow he (again unwittingly) got off the go-juice in early adulthoodWhy weight loss brought him back into the world of stimulantsHis dalliance with Ephedrine and Caffeine pillsHow PTSD is often misdiagnosed as ADHD and whyHow the experiences of people with ADHD informed John's view of trauma, recovery and the interplay with caffeineHis recent experiment in stimulant sobrietyWhat John has realized about the true role of caffeine in his life If you want to: Email a question to be answered on the podcast or Inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John You can email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Sign up for John's Email List.Join the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

In this episode, host John delves into the topic of stress and emotional eating.He highlights that these behaviors are not solely about the emotions themselves, but rather our unease in dealing with them.John explores the historical background of emotional eating, drawing comparisons between simpler times in the past and the distractions of the present.Listeners are urged to acknowledge and comprehend their emotional discomfort.The concept of emotional eating as a cognitive distortion is discussed.John suggests a strategy of delaying the impulse to eat, gradually becoming more comfortable with experiencing emotions.It is emphasized that the objective is not to immediately cease emotional eating.Small, mindful changes are encouraged as a way to address emotional eating.Throughout the process, self-compassion and understanding are promoted. If you want to: Email a question to be answered on the podcast or Inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John You can email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Sign up for John's Email List.Join the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

In this podcast episode, John reflects on his weight loss journey, discussing what he would tell his past (423 lb) self about healthy and effective weight loss. He talks about the importance of self-care, maintaining a positive mindset, and finding a balance between pushing oneself and taking care of one's body. John also discusses upcoming changes to his newsletter and encourages listeners to send in questions for future episodes. He concludes by offering free resources and inviting listeners to inquire about one-on-one coaching. The episode is not only about weight loss, but also about improving mental health and finding happiness throughout the journey. If you want to: Email a question to be answered on the podcast or Inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John You can email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Sign up for John's Email List.Join the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

In this episode, John discusses the merits of movement, how to get more into your life and why it can be much easier than you think it has to be. Join the EASY WEIGHT LOSS CLUBTo learn more about the John's coaching programs, email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Sign up for John's Email List.Join the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

In this episode, John breaks down motivation in a novel way you've never seen before. In doing so, he reveals:The three biggest inhibitors of your motivation: Shame, Obligation and Failure.Why shame is the most powerful of the three but also the most vulnerable to early efforts at change (if you know how to approach it)Why the antidote to shame is expanding permissionWhy expanding permission is the natural result of harnessing awareness and other passive toolsHow to locate exactly where shame is strangling your motivation and how to disentangle it from your life Join the EASY WEIGHT LOSS CLUBTo learn more about the John's coaching programs, email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Sign up for John's Email List.Join the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

In this podcast episode, John interviews his client Mike, who has achieved remarkable weight loss results through their coaching sessions. They discuss Mike's weight loss journey, his previous beliefs about weight gain, and the emotional factors that contributed to his overeating. Mike praises John's unique approach to weight loss and his ability to simplify complex issues surrounding emotional eating. They also emphasize the importance of addressing underlying emotional and mental factors in order to achieve sustainable weight loss. Mike shares his experiences with embracing failure, managing stress, and making practical changes to his eating habits and physical activity. He also discusses his rediscovered passion for music and his upcoming performance with his band. Overall, Mike credits coaching for his transformation and highlights the invaluable benefits it has brought to his life. Join the EASY WEIGHT LOSS CLUBTo learn more about the John's coaching programs, email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Sign up for John's Email List.Join the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

Being a weight loss coach with a PhD in the Social Sciences, John Oakes has his own view of the obesity epidemic and its origins. By discussing the macro factors contributing to obesity, he hopes to help listeners contextualize their struggles and in so doing. help equip themselves to make changes that last. Topics discussed:Various factors that contribute to weight gainemphasizing the importance of understanding macro-level factors and contextual influences on individuals' weightImportance of awareness as a precursor to positive change and transformationCorrelation between processed foods, calorie intake, and weight gainImpact of changes in work nature, transportation, and screen time on calorie expenditureAddressing mindset and thought patterns for successful weight lossEmphasizing self-compassion and understandingAnd a personal update about John's own neurofeedback treatment which is just getting startedDon't forget to review the podcast! Join the EASY WEIGHT LOSS CLUBTo learn more about the John's coaching programs, email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Sign up for John's Email List.Join the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

In this podcast episode, host John Oakes shares his personal experiences with trauma and his journey towards healing. He discusses:his struggles with mental health and his decision to try neurofeedback therapy.the limitations he faced in finding effective treatmenthow his own healing journey led him to discover new approaches.the impact of collective trauma during the pandemic and his decision to become a coach to help others.why you probably have more anger than you realizethe importance of acknowledging and expressing anger in assertive ways, as well as the connection between emotions and physical health.how to "feel" feeling by listening to themhow to take action to address underlying issues. Join the EASY WEIGHT LOSS CLUBTo learn more about the John's coaching programs, email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Sign up for John's Email List.Join the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

Check out the EASY Weight Loss ClubIn this podcast episode, John introduces his new program called the "Easy Weight Loss Club," launching on September 25th. He explains that it will be a paid community hosted on a platform called Skool, offering course content, live coaching calls, and a supportive community. John emphasizes the importance of reworking our relationship with hunger as an emotion and discusses mindset shifts needed to manage emotional eating. John invites listeners to join the Easy Weight Loss Club and the Weight Loss Freedom Academy for support and guidance in overcoming emotional eating and achieving weight loss goals.Timestamps:The Easy Weight Loss Club [00:00:00]John introduces his new program, the Easy Weight Loss Club, and explains why he created it as a paid community separate from the Facebook group.Challenges with Social Media Algorithms [00:01:04]John discusses the frustration with social media algorithms, specifically mentioning the changes in TikTok's algorithm and the impact it had on his reach.Benefits of Joining the Easy Weight Loss Club [00:02:12]John outlines the benefits of joining the Easy Weight Loss Club, including access to course content, live coaching calls, and a supportive community. He also mentions the Hunger Management Masterclass as part of the program.Understanding Hunger Signals [00:11:38]Explains the purpose and context of hunger signals, and how our resistance to hunger causes suffering.Investigating the Sensations of Hunger [00:13:57]Encourages listeners to explore and identify the physical sensations of hunger in their bodies, and differentiate between emotional and physical discomfort.Hunger as an Emotional Pathway [00:20:48]Discusses how emotions that are not fully processed can manifest as hunger, and the importance of befriending and understanding hunger to uncover underlying emotions.How other emotions use hunger and why they do it [00:22:48]Explains how other emotions can be rerouted through hunger and suggests finding alternative solutions to deal with this.Closing emotional loops and reworking our relationship with emotions [00:23:54]Discusses the benefits of establishing more freedom to feel hunger and taking value-based action instead of reactive eating.Benefits of joining the Easy Weight Loss Club [00:26:04]Highlights the advantages of joining the program, including never having to fear hunger, increasing comfort zones, and experiencing improvements in various areas of life. To learn more about the John's coaching programs, email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Sign up for John's Email List.Join the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

If you have ever made a goal that would have a significant positive impact on your life, then failed to meet that goal, you need to listen carefully to this episode.In this episode, John takes on goal-setting culture, and how, ONCE AGAIN it debilitates those who are in the most desperate need for change and transformation.Topics include:Why the arbitrary nature much goal-setting is tripping people upHow goals mask our true motivationsHow goals distance us from key sources of lifeWhy goal-setting psychologically disposes many people to anxiety and depressionWhy the desperation with which we pursue a goal has an inverse relationship to our successHow a common cognitive function biases us against pursuing our goalsWhy goals don't actually exist and what this means for how we orient our lives going forward To learn more about the John's coaching programs, email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Sign up for John's Email List.Join the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

This week, John is back from a long podcasting hiatus to cut through the noise od focus on the absolute essentials of weight loss that take precedence over every other consideration. There are really only two things you need to do to accomplish your weight loss goals. Rather than creating a cookie-cutter approach, following these two principles will simplify your path while helping you to tailor your program to your needs. To learn more about the John's coaching programs, email John at john@oakesweightloss.com Sign up for John's Email List.Join the free "Lose Weight with John" communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

In this guided interview with Will Martin of edit4social.com, we explore the importance of feeling our emotions and building comfort with them. We discuss the tendency to try and escape from uncomfortable emotions and the benefits of being present with them. We also examine how listening to our emotions can help us understand the messages they bring and take assertive actions based on them. Ultimately, building comfort with our emotions can increase our awareness and perception, leading to long-term change and improved decision-making. Tune in to learn how to pilot the ship of your emotions and access the trove of information they bring. To learn more about the Weight Loss Freedom Academy, email John at john@oakesweightloss.comTo inquire about 1-1 coaching with John, email: john@oakesweightloss.comJoin the free Lose Weight with John communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

In this podcast episode, we have the pleasure of featuring a guided-interview with Will Martin, founder of edit4social.com and John Oakes, a PhD holder and weight-loss coach who shares how his academic background has helped him not only in his personal weight loss journey but also in helping others achieve their goals. He talks about the cultural delusions and societal pressure that lead individuals to repeated cycles of failure and shame when trying to lose weight. His key advice to anyone who wants to start losing weight immediately is to change their mindset and stop trying to lose weight fast but instead focus on losing it for the last time. He emphasizes the importance of removing shame as a motivator and instead pursuing something that you truly want. Join us in this insightful conversation as we dive deep into the psychology behind weight loss and learn how to create lasting change in our lives. To learn more about the Weight Loss Freedom Academy, email John at john@oakesweightloss.comTo inquire about 1-1 coaching with John, email: john@oakesweightloss.comJoin the free Lose Weight with John communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

In this episode, John sits down with his client, Olevia, who recently completed her 1-1 6-month coaching program. Together, they discuss leaving toxic jobs and families, why slow and steady wins the race (even though it often doesn't feel like progress at all) and why after her huge success, she has decided to join John's new coaching Weight Loss Freedom Academy. To learn more about the Weight Loss Freedom Academy, email John at john@oakesweightloss.comTo inquire about 1-1 coaching with John, email: john@oakesweightloss.comJoin the free Lose Weight with John communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

In this episode, John takes the oncoming new year as opportunity to discuss how eventual failure is often woven into a diet or exercise plan in its inception and what you can do to prevent that.Points of interest:Some thoughts on protein and hunger management Announcing the weight loss freedom frameworkNot letting shame dictate your approach to your weight loss goals in the new yearWhat's gonna keep you making changes after the new yearShame causes extreme choicesHow shame blinds usDon't lose weight quickly, lose it onceThink long term for sustainable weight lossHow to make better decisions that set up successWhy your past holds blueprints for successWhy we innately know how to lose weightHow we devalue our progress How we can increase the value of our progress when our focus is sustainabilityHow we imbue the scale with harmful meaning and how we can let excess meaning goThe mistake of "turning your life around" without doing an audit of how you think and treat yourselfHow taking progress one change at a time makes it easier and more likely to eventually see wholesale changes Which foods to remove from your diet firstWhat "Taking ground for free" meansWhat exercise to do for weight loss. Where to startThe hack to starting weight loss successfully and free of shameWhy losing weight doesn't have to be restrictive The power of allowing small changes in your lifeWhy we resist big changesWhy you're an athlete wherever you're starting fromWhy there is no such thing as starting smallWhy baby steps are giant leapsHow to create significant change from zero effortWhy you've never lost weight like this beforeWhy successful weight loss needs to feel new. If it's not an exploration, its a recreation. If this time feels the same as before, stopHow we recreate the things we most fear of encounteringThe A/B fork in the road and what it tells you about recreating failureWhy starting Jan 1st is part of a failed pattern The power of actually doing what we want all the time To inquire about 1-1 coaching with John, email: john@oakesweightloss.comJoin the free Lose Weight with John communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

The holidays are a time of celebration and family, but sometimes the spirit of Christmas can cast the reality of family or friend dysfunction in painfully sharp relief. In this episode John discusses the Easy Way Out of valued, long-standing relationships that have grown toxic or always were.Other topics discussed:Why so much pain, anxiety and depression around the holidays emanates from the dichotomy between the values of Christmas and the impoverished reality of our closest relationships.Why the religious legacy of Christmas complicates thisHow the ten commandments have given toxic parents unfair and undeserved leverage over their offspringHow toxic people are eager to use all things of spiritual, divine or religious significance as a way to advance their selfish interests.Why guilt and shame are immediate and dominant voices in our heads preventing us from redrawing the boundaries of family relationshipsWhy boundaries exist in family relationships whether we ignore them or not.If you don't see to your boundaries, no one else willWhy well-parented children develop autonomyWhy autonomy allows, nay, demands that children get to choose their level or relationship with their parents.When an adult does not feel the freedom to dictate and redraw the boundaries of their most significant relationships, this is a huge indicator that they really need to.The levels of increasingly toxic rhetoric and behavior toxic individuals progress through the more you resist their lies, manipulation and violenceWhy you always quit, ending up beaten into submissionBut then seek out unhealthy ways to rebel against the parentWhy childhood rebellion so often involves foodWhile children sand teens may have a desire to rebel as a means of forming self-identity, this does not mean teens MUST rebel with parents.Why your growth and healing can massively benefit from taking temporary breaks from family or friends.Why you absolutely deserve to put yourself and your health and wellbeing firstAlong with some updates on Oakes Weight Loss' growth as a business and vehicle for effecting changeAnd John's vision for how his coaching services can expand their reach in 2023. To inquire about 1-1 coaching with John, email: john@oakesweightloss.comJoin the free Lose Weight with John communityWatch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

Whether you're just starting out or starting again for the 50th time, this podcast is for you!In this episode, I give you an inside look at my coaching process. Today we have client, Tina, a very cool gal who jumped in with both feet at the prospect of sharing her journey with you all. Big thanks to Tina!This episode is Tina's first coaching session with me and second ever conversation. (We spoke once before during her free coaching consultation about a week before recording) Disclaimer: Any advice I give in this recording was geared toward Tina and her journey. Your journey will vary, but the principles we discussed will still apply.In this episode we cover various topics:The power of tracking calories, why many people don't like to do ithow to think about it in a motivating wayThe power of tracking scale data in our decision-making, especially when just starting a weight loss journeyhow weighing in every day actually removes "weigh-in" stressWhy some clients start off not losing weight while others see fast weight loss, and not a whole lot in between.Why this all tends to even out.How to manage work stress and boundaries to free up much needed time, energy and focus to put toward wellbeing and healthHow to manage hungerDesigning an effective resistance training, cardio or walking regimen while prioritizing stress management and sustainabilityPCOS (Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome) and how its complications could have ended Tina's life.My philosophical approach as a coach when dealing with the psychological weight of medical issues but also the reality of health limitationsIf you are interested in joining me in 1-1 coaching, send me an email at john@oakesweightloss.com____________________________________________________________________________________________________Subscribe to the Podcast!Join the free FaceBook Group "Lose Weight with John"Watch the podcast on YouTubeEnroll in John's Life-Changing Weight Loss CourseFor all other inquiries, contact John -- john@oakesweightloss.com

Sign up for the FREE Emotional Eating webinar (upcoming)In this episode, John gives an account of his weight loss journey from ~423lbs to ~227lbs.This episodes answers some common questions John gets asked:Did you lose weight the way you teach others to? (Hint: no)How long did it take you to lose the weight?How many calories per day did you eat to lose weight?How did you exercise to lose the weight?Did you ever have "cheats"?The story falls into three or four periods:Phase 1 - Fall 2018 - the first 40 lbs and the stall at 380lbsPhase 2 - Spring 2019 - Getting serious. Adopting the 6/1 strategy and rigid workout planThe emergency surgery in Fall 2019 and recoveryPhase 3 - Early 2020 - Getting from 300 to below goal weight despite pandemic restrictions.Other points of interest:How I flowed with quarantine in order to benefit my weight loss goals.What exactly I did to keep strength training and getting cardio without the use of a gym.The ten weeks in which I tried not to weight myself once.And of course, the time I accidentally mocked an amputee to her face as we entered a Target. Eesh.Discussion and Evaluation of my Tactics and Strategy at the time. Pros and cons of:Using what I call the "6/1" methodPlanned "cheat days"Adopting a rigid workout planEating the same foods every dayNot counting caloriesUsing the scale but not taking a running averageBalancing exercise and caloric/nutrient needs while in a deficit (on a diet)Flexible dieting (why it would've been a bad idea for me)If you are a past, current or FUTURE client or a part of John's community at large, you will get aa fascinating look into the near 200 lb weight loss whose successes and failures did so much to inform his philosophies you enjoy today.Make sure you're subscribed to the EASY WAY OUT. And please take a moment to leave a review.

In this episode, I give you a guided tour of Delayed Gratification and its empty promises and harmful world view, specifically regarding the extent to which it has become a central tenet of fitness coaching, self-help and personal success coaching.Delayed Gratification is an impoverished mechanism set up to counteract what society deems to be moral failings that are in most cases actually the result of other impoverished mechanisms born from how our still-rigidly puritanical culture views the self.In this episode, I discuss:Why the popularity of the concept of delayed gratification is rooted in the labor economyWhy we demand payment even in jobs we enjoyHow biweekly pay schedules give an indication of how long humans are willing to delay gratificationThe relationship between incentive and outcome and how it is replicated inside our mindsWhy this gets complicated when we are the "boss" and the "employee"How fitness gurus use this complication to sell billions of dollars worth of diet and exercise plans that are designed to fail and get away with itHow this keeps us in the mindset that weight loss is a problem to be solved via higher expectationsWhy you would never do this in any other settingHow the concept of support is far more effective in weight reduction than expectationIn the direct context of weight managementWhy fit people more easily benefit from the concept of Delayed Gratification, and how this strengthens the errant messaging to severely overweight peopleWhy society views obesity as a result of over-gratificationWhat the miserable lived experience of overweight people indicates is the larger culpritHow DG trains us to despise healthy foodHow DG contributes to the unhelpful dichotomy and categorizations between "good food" and "bad food"The Do X to Get Y formulaHow this formula drives delusionHow DG empowers this pairingHow DG deepens the notion that only outcomes are gratifying and the process is thereby NOT gratifyingWhy the empty experience and results of DG beg the question: Who is being gratified by this arrangement?How Visualization done in service of DG contributes to mental fatigue, dissociation, delusion and sell-criticismHow positioning our wellbeing in the future, creates contexts of peril and fear in the present, further incentivizing our dissociations and dissociation from realityHow this leads to eventual rebound and binge eatingHow shame, in addition to blinding us, propels us toward extreme "solutions" that result in failureSociety's bias that takes unhealthy/harmful eating for granted as part of the human conditionHow this prevents us from working toward healing and instead keeps us spinning our wheels, adding stress and expectation to an already malfunctioning systemHow DG is often deployed in service to fearWhat incentives the "fear boss" gives for completing its objectivesHow this deepens compulsion and survival mechanismsHow this degrades the sense of self and the very self-esteem and autonomy that individuals require to choose healthy behaviorsSend fan mail or questions to the podcast - john@oakesweightloss.comWatch the podcast in video form on YouTubeInquire about 1-1 coaching - john@oakesweightloss.comJoin our free support community: Lose Weight with JohnEnroll in John's life-changing weight loss course

In this episode, I fly solo on a mission to bomb the ever-loving bejeezus out of emotional eating and the complexes of thought that keep you clinging to it. While simply touching the hem of my cloak via the airwaves may not instantly heal you, this primer on the functions of emotional eating and other compulsive behaviors will provide you with vital insight on your inner world.Topics discussed:Why "emotional eating" isn't really emotional, rather the opposite.The vital role shame plays (and it's not what you think)How emotional eating beginsWhy kids are more susceptible to it than other substancesThe override system that fight or flight providesThe time-travel effect of triggersWhy food is particularly attractive to memory triggers.Why childhood psychological development makes us prone to "acting out" and how this dovetails with the ubiquity of food.Why the context of danger changes the way we experience memory. How this shuts down large parts of the brain in severe cases.Why "calming down" is often less about turning panic/stress "off" and more about turning the rest of the brain back "on."Why certain emotions get tagged as "dangerous" in childhood and thereby trip the "alarm bell" in adulthood despite the absence of any significant danger.Why you aways seem to care  "way too much" or your reactions are not in balance with the present event that provoked them.How you can see these overreactions happening but still can feel powerless to stop them or their severity of feeling.How two humans with different conditioning can experience the same event in vastly different ways.Why we tend to recreate "triggering" situations in our lives.Why overeating or compulsive behavior doesn't respond well to "wanting to change" or "trying hard" or "self-control" and therefore is not a character issueHow these behaviors cut us off from a sense of greater purpose, true identity, and our deepest values, and make us highly prone to future "triggers" or invalid alarm signals.How We HealHow our survival response, once provoked, convinces us we must overeat to survive.Why the brain often HAS to make logical leaps in order to develop survival mechanisms How we can reverse engineer this to our advantage in taking the apparatus apart.Why the story telling aspect of our survival mechanisms is so important and how we can use it to our advantage.How awareness both gives us increased influence over our conditioning and how we react, but also effectively dissolves structures of compulsion.If you enjoy this podcast please subscribe and LEAVE A REVIEW.  Come on. Do it.Other ways I can support you:-- Inquire about 1-1 Coaching (Open for applications) john@oakesweightloss.com-- Lose Weight with John Facebook group-- John's Life-Changing Weight Loss Course-- Watch these podcasts in video form on YouTube (along with other great content)

Here is Part 2 of Shae's Incredible weight loss journey of nearly 100 lbs after suffering a stroke during her third bout of COVID.Our conversation shifts to the issue of Shae's sudden social media growth and how she sees it developing in the future. --- How weight issues can cause sever financial strain --- How financial strain threatens our integrity --- How this perpetuates cycles of unhealthy livingWe also talk about the pressures to succeed in weight loss now that she has so much visibilty. --- The haters of big bodies --- The companies who want to cash in on them --- The ways those companies still seem to be missing the mark to their own detrimentOn the matter of continuing Shae's weight loss success, John gives his take on the real reason behind many "weight stalls" and "plateaus." --- The ways that ADHD affect weight loss --- The most common reason why people think they suffer from ADHD in these regards, even if they technically don'tSubscribe to the EASY WAY OUT podcast on any platform Private Facebook Community: "Lose Weight with John" Inquire about 1-1 Coaching (Open for applications):  john@oakesweightloss.com

For Christmas, 2021, Shae McDonald got a third bout of C0VID and a stroke. Despite weighing 422 lbs and without the use of half her body or a functioning immune system, Shae set out to change her life. Six months later, she is much lighter, inside and out, she's recovered from the stroke and illness and is finding success by sharing her story with others. This episode is a must-listen for anyone who desires to lose a significant amount of weight.Episode Contents:How Shae gained most of her weight.How the pandemic caused BIG weight gain for way more terrible reasons than most people had.What it's like to get C0VID so many times the government calls to find out how you're accomplishing it.How Shae accidentally went viral on TikTok in her underwear.How that led to a new career path and an avenue of service to others.The shame big people have about their impending doom, i.e. "Too Many Pallbearers"Monica's Secret Closet (from the show FRIENDS) and how it shaped Shae's willingness to do the inner work.How weight carried on the body is usually a fraction of the internal weight it represents.And more!Follow Shae on TikTok: @Shaeshowsup Email her: ShaeMacOfficial@gmail.comJohn's Social Links Inquire bout 1-1 Coaching with John: john@oakesweightloss.comLose Weight with John Facebook GroupWatch on YouTubeJohn's Life-Changing Weight Loss Course 

Folks in big bodies have different considerations when finding a strength and muscle building resistance program. The principles are fundamentally the same, but the application is very different for someone who weighs 350 vs 150, even at the same level of muscular fitness.Many people who want to lose fifty pounds, lose a hundred pounds or more know that to do so with the best chance of long term success, they need to perform resistance training to preserve muscle mass and lean tissue while in a long-term caloric deficit.However, less apparent are the specific ways that "heavyweights" can get started while 1) Avoiding injury 2) Avoiding burn out 3) Enjoying the process and 4) steadily making progressIn this video I coach a weight loss client through the best ways to get started with resistance training for overweight people. You will learn* The importance of thinking about movement patterns rather than "exercises"* The progressions that can allow you to perform basic movements at your level* How to progress through these variations for maximal strength and muscle building* How being overweight offers huge advantages when performing calisthenics* How I got YOKED during quarantine because of the surprising benefit of calisthenics in a big body. And more!Examples mentioned in the videoPush-up progressionshttps://youtu.be/zkU6Ok44_CIPull-up progressionshttps://youtu.be/fO3dKSQayfgInverted Row Methodshttps://youtu.be/rloXYB8M3vUhttps://youtu.be/11F_O_sZ1Z4Squat progressionshttps://youtu.be/QVzdY5OM1KwSubscribe to the podcasthttps://easywayout.buzzsprout.com/shareLose Weight With John: https://www.facebook.com/groups/454610849203453/ John's Life-Changing Weight Loss Course:  https://johnoakes.xperiencify.io/bglw/sales/ Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0TOlMSsmaXDndmvu9F9-0g/Coaching Inquiries: john@oakesweightloss.com

In this episode of the Easy Way Out, John Oakes takes you on a one-of-a-kind journey into the ways perfectionism is hamstringing you more that you know, and how to escape its false reality for good.Perfectionism is controlling your life more than you even suspect. It poisons our perception of finances, career, relationships, and self, while heaping unbearable expectations on our performance.Perfectionism keeps us striving for a constantly shifting goal line that we never seem to reach. When we DO manage to reach it, we find that its promises of love, acceptance and security were empty. This is why so many highly successful and driven people often feel most hopeless and empty just after their biggest wins.This is why they so quickly have to dive into yet another thankless slog, to maintain a glimmer of hope that this time, the results will finally contain the love and worth and belonging we so desire.Perfectionism never actually makes us perfect. More often than not, it acts to keep us from ever succeeding. It does this primarily by forbidding failure which is merely what your survival brain calls "learning."If you aren't free to fail, you aren't free to learn. If you aren't free to learn, you aren''t free to grow. Perfectionism isn't the path to your fullest potential, it is the greatest limiter to your future and potential.Subscribe to the EASY WAY OUT podcast: https://easywayout.buzzsprout.com/shareWatch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0TOlMSsmaXDndmvu9F9-0g/John's life-changing weight loss course: https://johnoakes.xperiencify.io/bglw/sales/Lose Weight With John Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/454610849203453/Coaching Inquiries: john@oakesweightloss.com

The role hypochondria plays in preventing weight loss is not talked about much, but it ought to be as it speaks to the many ways that anxiety shuts down our attempts at making a better life.Topics discussed in this episode:Why logic and reason fail in the emotional realmWhy hypochondria's true aim is not to make you afraid, but to make you hopeless.Why living a better life can be seen as a threat to our survival.How trying to fix anxiety or rid ourselves of it actually deepens the delusions. If you can't think your way out of anxiety, what is a person to do?How to use reality as a grounding force even when anxiety and panic are part of your reality.Why emotions are actually more objectively real than our thoughts.How acceptance allows calm presence to the most "uncomfortable" emotions. How presence and acceptance prevent us from getting psyched out and falling for anxiety's spells.How nighttime anxieties can result from very different stresses than the topics pm anxiety is focused on.How to  use non-engagement to "unplug" anxiety.How to giving attention to pain minimizes suffering.How to distinguish between site pain, resistance pain and embodied pain.Why accepting hard things doesn't make them suck any more than they do without acceptance and how it actually lessens our suffering.How awareness and acceptance during hard times allow us to avoid more pain and notice more opportunities.How to take attention away from anxiety while focusing it on the underlying emotion.Why many of your anxious thoughts are actually the product of trying to "think" your way out of experiencing anxiety or an uncomfortable emotion,How seeking to remedy anxiety exhausts you and makes you more susceptible to anxiety.For questions, suggestions or coaching inquiries, Contact John: john@oakesweightloss.comJoin our Facebook Community, "Lose Weight with John"Subscribe to John's YouTube to watch the video version of the Easy Way Out podcast.