What's the F***ing Point?

As the Honor Your Spark theme music fades out, a wave of bittersweet emotions washes over me. It's time for a change. In this episode, I'm sharing with you about a big decision I've made related to my coaching business— which includes the podcast is going on indefinite pause. This final (for now, at least) episode is all about finding the wins—especially the lessons— IN the losses, and how to know when it's time to let something we love go... even if we've put a heck of a lot of blood, sweat, tears, and DOLLARS into it.

You've probably heard someone in your life say something like this (or perhaps had the thought yourself): “How is it that EVERYONE all the sudden has ADHD and autism?!” Weellll that's not exactly any more true than saying there's “all the sudden” a bunch of trans people around, when really they've always been there— just more closeted since their reality was not as affirmed as it now is. (Of course we still have a very long way to go with even making the world SAFE for trans folks, let alone affirming.)

n a world that often feels disorienting with its speed and complexity, finding our true selves can sometimes seem like a search for a needle in a vast, shifting haystack. This quest for personal identity and authenticity was the focus of a deep and insightful conversation on my podcast Honor Your Spark, where I was recently joined by existential psychotherapist, consultant, writer, and columnist Dr. Sara Kuburic, also known as the Millennial Therapist. In this conversation, we explored the intricacies of human emotions and behaviors and how existentialism (and specifically, existential therapy) can offer a unique perspective on navigating life's challenges with authenticity, courage, and responsibility.

The corporate world is not exactly known for being fair to women. Even with significant progress made in recent decades, the wage gap still has women getting paid 16% less than their male counterparts (substantially worse for women of color), and women are often passed up for promotions or higher-level positions. Remember this exchange from the Barbie movie during Ken's visit to corporate America? Ken: You guys aren't doing patriarchy very well. Corporate Bro: We're actually doing patriarchy very well [lowers voice] Corporate Bro: ... we're just better at hiding it. So when I discovered Sam DeMase through her book A Power Mood, I knew I had to invite her on the podcast. We had a fantastic conversation about the importance of self-advocacy for women in the workplace, and how they make make more strategic moves for career advancement.

Aesthetic styles like Minimalism, Grunge, Rustic, and Boho have been in the mainstream awareness for a quite a while now— and in recent years, social media has made it possible for folks to connect around more niche aesthetics like Cottagecore, Y2K, Academia, Old Money (for real), and— one of my personal favorites— Goblincore. And similarly to Minimalism, Goblincore is not just an aesthetic, but also a lifestyle. In this episode of "Honor Your Spark," I had the privilege of diving deep into the enchanting and rebellious world of Goblincore with the brilliant McKayla Coyle, an author who not only has penned a fantastic, detailed guide to Goblincore (Goblin Mode) but also lives and breathes this inclusive and anti-capitalist lifestyle.

Navigating pivots is a necessary skill set in all areas of life— especially in our careers, whether you're an employee or an entrepreneur. In the case of Jason Shen, who pivoted from Silicon Valley entrepreneur to Facebook employee to executive coach, resilience becomes the name of the game. In fact, in his first startup, Jason says of his team: "We didn't run out of money— we ran out of resilience." As he continued to see how critical resilience was for navigating both personal and professional pivots, he became passionate about understanding it deeply. The more he thought, learned, and researched about resilience, Jason started to understand it not just as one skill or trait, but as a set of skills that can be cultivated.

The idea of being an “activist” can feel incredibly daunting. Since not a single person can ~save the world~ even if activism is their full-time job, it doesn't take much to start feeling that creeping sense of “Why bother?”. Omkari Williams is here to tell you why we should still bother— and how we can think of activism in a way that actually fits into our lives for the long haul.

Our modern world is paradoxical in many ways, one being this: people will spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on books, courses, coaching, and therapy to become more self-aware— and yet, our technology and pace of living can cause us to be anything BUT aware. Instead, we often find ourselves on autopilot, seldom relying on critical thinking or reflecting deeply on our internal experience

Anyone who hasn't been through some kind of substantial hardship yet has no business being a therapist or coach. There— I said it. No, your therapist/coach doesn't need to have gone through the same experiences you have; but if they haven't even set foot inside the school of hard knocks, how the hell are they supposed to have the perspective to help their clients navigate suffering? In this episode of the podcast, Angela Gentile, public school teacher turned professional hypewoman and speaker, shares how her own experiences have shaped both who she is as a person and as a coach and catalyst with her clients.

It ain't my business to tell anyone how to eat or live their lives, but hey— it's my podcast, so I sure as hell am gonna tell you what I think.

As I was thinking about how I wanted to ring in the New Year on the podcast, a lightbulb went off— “wait a second, didn't I find that list of New Years Resolutions I made in high school? That shit would be HILARIOUS.” So yes, in an effort to both entertain and inspire you, dear listeners, I am subjecting you in this solo episode to the wisdom of my 16-year-old self.

People often hire a professional organizer to help declutter their homes, believing the problem lies exclusively with managing physical STUFF. Liz Jenkins, owner of the thriving organizing business A Fresh Space, knows that the relationship between physical and mental clutter is way more than drawer-deep.

The word “budget” often brings up the same connotations as the word “diet”: restriction, deprivation, punishment— basically, a total JOYKILL. On the flipside of the coin, I realized recently that I actually also had a negative connotation with the word “profit” (greedy, using people, capitalist pig, etc.)—talk about damned if you do, damned if you don't. But it doesn't have to be that way, right?

It's always fascinating talking to leaders, service providers, and entrepreneurs in completely different industries and noticing how much overlap there is in the challenges and opportunities we encounter. In this episode of the pod, I'm talking with esthetician Caitlin Hart— and as a kindred spirit who is highly ambitious, she's had to learn (like many of us, the hard way) how to adjust and recalibrate in her career to align with different seasons of her life. Caitlin's most recent labor of love is a pair of online courses to help estheticians learn the business side of the industry that school does not prepare them for, so they can benefit from her 14 years of experience in the field.

Ok, raise your hand if you're a fellow recovering Gifted Child

Ok, raise your hand if you're a fellow recovering Gifted Child

This episode is truly a meeting of the Bad Bitch minds.

This episode is truly a meeting of the Bad Bitch minds.

“It's a rot day, bestie. Just don't rot for like 5 days straight… it's giving Depression Era.”If you read that and you're like… ummm ??? — you're not alone.

“It's a rot day, bestie. Just don't rot for like 5 days straight… it's giving Depression Era.” If you read that and you're like… ummm ??? — you're not alone.

Every single day of our lives, the world tells us who and how we should be. Damn— that's pretty heavy, isn't it?We get told how we should act, talk, dress, look, move, what we should and shouldn't eat— hell, we're even told how we're sleeping and breathing “wrong”

Every single day of our lives, the world tells us who and how we should be. Damn— that's pretty heavy, isn't it? We get told how we should act, talk, dress, look, move, what we should and shouldn't eat— hell, we're even told how we're sleeping and breathing “wrong”

Friends, you're gonna want to grab your journal and pen for this one, because the latest episode of Bad Bitch Therapist Podcast is so full of gem's it's a g*ddamn treasure chest. Allow me the pleasure of introducing you to this week's guest, Patrick Murphy, who has become a dear friend in the past several years AND one I have yet to meet in 3D (but it's finally happening next month!). Patrick has SO many gifts in his own right— and then you stick us two Enneagram 7's in a Zoom room together and it's like a nonstop pinball game of truth pings and lightbulb moments.

Friends, you're gonna want to grab your journal and pen for this one, because the latest episode of Bad Bitch Therapist Podcast is so full of gem's it's a g*ddamn treasure chest. Allow me the pleasure of introducing you to this week's guest, Patrick Murphy, who has become a dear friend in the past several years AND one I have yet to meet in 3D (but it's finally happening next month!). Patrick has SO many gifts in his own right— and then you stick us two Enneagram 7's in a Zoom room together and it's like a nonstop pinball game of truth pings and lightbulb moments.

In the latest episode of Bad Bitch Therapist Podcast, we're diving into the realm of relationships that defy mononormativity and the Relationship Escalator. Not sure WTF any of that means? No worries— just buckle up and put on those headphones!Val here, and I'm not gonna lie— I was nervous AF jumping into this interview, because these 3 guests have hosted their own podcast, Multiamory, for almost a decade… and by this point have something like eleventy-zillion downloads. No pressure!

In the latest episode of Bad Bitch Therapist Podcast, we're diving into the realm of relationships that defy mononormativity and the Relationship Escalator. Not sure WTF any of that means? No worries— just buckle up and put on those headphones! Val here, and I'm not gonna lie— I was nervous AF jumping into this interview, because these 3 guests have hosted their own podcast, Multiamory, for almost a decade… and by this point have something like eleventy-zillion downloads. No pressure!

CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains quite a bit of conversation around suicide. Please see the resources at the bottom of the show notes if you or someone you know is struggling and needs support. I love this week's episode because it's a true heart-to-heart with my dear friend and absolute badass cousin Becca, who's an excellent role model for anyone who's been dealt some rough fucking cards and has committed to a life of authenticity and joy.Just one example of that is her choice to embrace ethical non-monogamy. Becca takes us on her path of exploring relationships, questioning societal norms, and carving out a space that's authentically hers— all while navigating those tricky moments of other peoples' opinions without taking them on. (And if you're excited to dig more into the topic of ethical non-monogamy, you're definitely gonna want to tune into the next episode coming, #19!)Some people experience more than their fair share of trauma (is there such a thing? Can we make a fair share 0?? #iwish

CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains quite a bit of conversation around suicide. Please see the resources at the bottom of the show notes if you or someone you know is struggling and needs support. I love this week's episode because it's a true heart-to-heart with my dear friend and absolute badass cousin Becca, who's an excellent role model for anyone who's been dealt some rough fucking cards and has committed to a life of authenticity and joy.

Have you ever read something in a book and felt your jaw drop to the floor because you knew that idea was going to *actually* change your life?

Have you ever read something in a book and felt your jaw drop to the floor because you knew that idea was going to *actually* change your life?I had that experience recently when I started reading The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy. I was SO mind-blown that I couldn't wait to share it with y'all— so I recorded an Instagram Live on it and had to share it here on the pod, too!But let's back up a bit.The very same day that I discovered this paradigm-shifting concept— which happened at bedtime— that afternoon, I was literally crying into my coconut drink with my husband as I was sharing with him all the insecurity and uncertainty I'd been feeling recently with one of my businesses.I mean, picture it: me holding this actual coconut, opened with a bedazzled power drill, rum poured in with the yummy fresh coconut water— crying my eyes out on the freaking 4th of July. Fireworks? I'll pass.Coming across this book was like an answer to a prayer, and shit— I'm not even sure what I believe about prayer. But I do believe in powerful synchronicity and that sometimes the universe gives us something when we most need it.In this solo episode, I'm sharing the nuts and bolts of the Gap & Gain framework that I love so much I am grinning ear-to-ear about just TYPING this. In the book, Benjamin shares that he's read over 1000 psychology books (after all, he has a PhD in Organizational Psychology, and that when he encountered this concept of Dan's, it was his favorite psychological concept he's ever encountered. I agree. So if you're feeling even a little bit like I was that day— doubting or questioning yourself or something in your life— THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU. Let it be your reminder that choosing your PERSPECTIVE is the most powerful kind of choice you will ever make. This episode covers:[3:10] Getting in my head about goal setting[4:40] The Gap and the Gain Concept[7:55] Being in the gap mindset[10:40] Being in the gain mindset[16:35] Holding loosely onto the things we want and desire[19:35] Wanting something and not needing it Resources mentioned in this episode:Watching: Younger and The West WingReading: The Gap and Gain by Dan Sullivan and Benjamin HardyLoving: BabyBel plant-based cheesePicture of my drawing of the Gap & the Gain diagram Connect with me:Procrastination Prescription (free tool with the 5 steps I take myself through anytime I'm stuck in procrastavoidance hell): : bit.ly/procrastinationtoolInstagram: www.instagram.com/bad.bitch.therapistTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@badbitchtherapistWebsite: https://badbitchtherapist.co/Email: heyboo@badbitchtherapist.coBook a call: https://badbitchtherapist.co/contact DISCLAIMER: None of my online content or coaching services are to be considered as therapy or a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. These offerings are created for entertainment and educational purposes. For full disclaimer, visit https://badbitchtherapist.co/disclaimer .

Open an app, send a few messages, have the same conversations over and over, go on a date, and then…ghosted AGAIN.

Open an app, send a few messages, have the same conversations over and over, go on a date, and then…ghosted AGAIN.

⚡️ LIT AF is only open to new members through July 7— after that, you'll have to wait til September! DM or email me with questions.

⚡️ LIT AF is only open to new members through July 7— after that, you'll have to wait til September! DM or email me with questions.

Show me someone who doesn't have money shit, and I'll… well, I'll tell you you're probably wrong, because they don't exist.

Show me someone who doesn't have money shit, and I'll… well, I'll tell you you're probably wrong, because they don't exist.

When you envision a fraternity house full of hormonal college dudes having a conversation about sexual consent, who do you imagine they'd be more likely to listen attentively to: a sterile, scripted lecture delivered by a poor graduate intern from Campus Health, or… one of the most successful adult film stars in the business?Uh, yeah, that's what I thought.And that's exactly what Tasha Reign did, in fraternities and in lecture halls at numerous university campuses. She's also an activist within her industry fighting for the rights, safety, and dignity for sex workers, having published articles and served as chairperson of the Adult Performers Advocacy Committee. And did I mention she has not only a Bachelors in Women's Studies from UCLA, but also a Masters in Journalism from USC's renowned Annenberg School?This woman is a fucking POWERHOUSE, y'all. It was such an honor to receive an early copy of her book, From Princess to Porn Star, which releases on June 13 (the same day as this podcast episode airs!)I enjoyed this book so much that I was literally reading it on my Kindle while on a boat recently, because I was so eager to hear what happened next. (Don't @ me, I enjoyed the boat too— but y'all know how it goes when you're enraptured by a book!

When you envision a fraternity house full of hormonal college dudes having a conversation about sexual consent, who do you imagine they'd be more likely to listen attentively to: a sterile, scripted lecture delivered by a poor graduate intern from Campus Health, or… one of the most successful adult film stars in the business? Uh, yeah, that's what I thought. And that's exactly what Tasha Reign did, in fraternities and in lecture halls at numerous university campuses. She's also an activist within her industry fighting for the rights, safety, and dignity for sex workers, having published articles and served as chairperson of the Adult Performers Advocacy Committee. And did I mention she has not only a Bachelors in Women's Studies from UCLA, but also a Masters in Journalism from USC's renowned Annenberg School?

Our managed care system can eat a d*ck.

Our managed care system can eat a d*ck.

Join Val for a solo episode including a powerful EFT tapping practice to shift into a more magnetic mindset, AND a sneak peek at her brand new membership, LIT AF, for the woman who is ready to honor her highest self by embodying her more EVERY DAMN DAY.LIT AF is an ongoing coaching + connection space for womxn who want to feel:⚡️ LUXURIOUS ⚡️⁠Luxe ≠ expensive. It's about being deeply embodied, fully alive, & leaning into pleasures big and small—without the guilt. ⁠LUXURY + GENEROSITY = MAGNETIC⁠⁠⚡️ INTEGRATED ⚡️⁠Mind & body, ego & spirit, intuition & intellect, conscious & subconscious, work & play, ambition & rest. TOUGH & LOVE. ⁠⁠⚡️ THRIVING ⚡️⁠Refusing to live life in survival mode. Cultivating and practicing the tools to metabolize stress effectively. Staying committed to your self-care non-negotiables.⁠

Join Val for a solo episode including a powerful EFT tapping practice to shift into a more magnetic mindset, AND a sneak peek at her brand new membership, LIT AF, for the woman who is ready to honor her highest self by embodying her more EVERY DAMN DAY.

It's refreshing to live at a time where acknowledging and discussing privilege has become practically mainstream. Yet, there are some types of privilege that usually get left out of the conversation. One of them? PRETTY privilege. While it's uncomfortable to acknowledge that the world treats attractive people differently, it's also undoubtedly true. And just like any type of privilege, typically the people least likely to recognize it are the ones who possess it. That's just one of the reasons why I love my friend Kelly Haze, today's guest: she's not one to deny reality.  She knows she's beautiful, and she knows she's been treated differently because of it— in both good and bad ways. In this episode, Kelly shares a refreshing perspective on challenging societal norms and unraveling the enigma of pretty privilege. We talk about how it shapes interactions and perceptions, and how— as with any type of privilege—the power comes in those who hold it using their privilege to lift up and amplify those without it. Kelly also shares a recent experience of ego death, and if you've ever been curious about this concept, listen up! We often hear that these experiences are facilitated with plant medicine / psychedelics… but is that the only path to experiencing ego death? And why would we WANT to experience it? Get ready to go deep with us as Kelly and I explore the delicate dance between privilege and empathy, gaining a deeper understanding of how these seemingly contradictory forces coexist within our society. And if we really want to understand ego death, we need to embrace the SUCK that is shadow work.  Grab your favorite bev and listen to Kelly drop allll the #truth in this conversation! About Kelly HazeKelly (@kelly.haze) is a Quantum Coach who uses transformational approaches that are proven to create change at the subconscious level. She is passionate about co-creating with high achieving wxmen that are ready to shatter glass ceilings and lean into their calling. Kelly uses her gifts with the intention of raising the vibrational energy of the universe by empowering others to live in gratitude, live authentically, and love unconditionally. This episode covers:[1:20] Reading, watching, loving[3:20] The Procrastination Prescription[6:00] Why ‘the unaesthetic baddie'[8:55] What pretty privilege is[11:55] The realization that she had ‘pretty privilege'[17:20] The awareness of being accepting of everybody [18:55] Why privilege doesn't negate oppression in other ways[22:30] Learning how to do shadow work[24:50] What ‘ego death' is[27:50] Reprogramming and reconnecting to her body[35:30] ‘Go Off' segment Resources mentioned in this episode:Procrastination Prescription: https://learn.badbitchtherapist.co/procrastination-rxTelegram: https://telegram.org/Polite Society movie: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comedy-drama Connect with Kelly:TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@.kellyhazeInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/kelly.hazehttps://linktr.ee/unaestheticbaddieConnect with me:Instagram: www.instagram.com/bad.bitch.therapistTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@badbitchtherapistWebsite: https://badbitchtherapist.co/Email: heyboo@badbitchtherapist.coBook a call: https://badbitchtherapist.co/contact DISCLAIMER: None of my online content or coaching services are to be considered as therapy or a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. These offerings are created for entertainment and educational purposes. For full disclaimer, visit https://badbitchtherapist.co/disclaimer .

It's refreshing to live at a time where acknowledging and discussing privilege has become practically mainstream. Yet, there are some types of privilege that usually get left out of the conversation. One of them? PRETTY privilege. While it's uncomfortable to acknowledge that the world treats attractive people differently, it's also undoubtedly true. And just like any type of privilege, typically the people least likely to recognize it are the ones who possess it. That's just one of the reasons why I love my friend Kelly Haze, today's guest: she's not one to deny reality.  She knows she's beautiful, and she knows she's been treated differently because of it— in both good and bad ways.

This episode is overflowing with  gold freaking nuggets, y'all. Here's just one taste that our guest Erica Murphy casually dropped in the convo: The pain of truth is never going to be as bad as the pain of ambiguity or of self limitation. 

This episode is overflowing with  gold freaking nuggets, y'all. Here's just one taste that our guest Erica Murphy casually dropped in the convo: The pain of truth is never going to be as bad as the pain of ambiguity or of self limitation.

Perfectionism is a sneaky little bitch. What makes me say that? Well, most of us wouldn't actually SAY that we expect perfection of ourselves. That's ridiculous, right?! Clearly we're much smarter than that.

Perfectionism is a sneaky little bitch. What makes me say that? Well, most of us wouldn't actually SAY that we expect perfection of ourselves. That's ridiculous, right?! Clearly we're much smarter than that.

Too fat. Too skinny. Too much cellulite. Not enough muscle. Big butt? Ok, but better have a tiny waist. We are told every single day a MILLION ways that our bodies should NOT be. What the actual fuck, right?Between mainstream media, social media, and all the SuPeR heLpFuL comments our families and friends make— it's no wonder we grow up with so much shame, anxiety and guilt around how we look and feel in our bodies. (And let's mince no words about it, fat phobia is RACIST, too.) Just when it seemed like things were maaaybe heading in a positive direction the past few years— apparently “heroine chic” is IN again?.

Too fat. Too skinny. Too much cellulite. Not enough muscle. Big butt? Ok, but better have a tiny waist. We are told every single day a MILLION ways that our bodies should NOT be. What the actual fuck, right? Between mainstream media, social media, and all the SuPeR heLpFuL comments our families and friends make— it's no wonder we grow up with so much shame, anxiety and guilt around how we look and feel in our bodies. (And let's mince no words about it, fat phobia is RACIST, too.) Just when it seemed like things were maaaybe heading in a positive direction the past few years— apparently “heroine chic” is IN again?.

Have you ever been curious about the difference between life coaching and therapy? Or wanted a peek behind the curtain with either one?If you just read an Instagram or blog post on “coaching vs therapy,” there's a very strong chance it's ridiculously oversimplified. “Therapists work on ‘problems' rooted in the past, coaches work on goals for the future!” COOL. Except it ain't that simple.  Thankfully, Katie Read is joining me for this episode to help us unpack some of the complexity.  As you'll hear, Katie is primarily speaking to therapists (since that's the niche of peeps she serves), but a lot of what we talk about that translates WAY beyond that— and/or is just interesting for understanding the working lives of therapists. How do coaches create their businesses? How do coaching businesses mesh with therapy? IS coaching really accessible to everyone? And how can therapists ethically add coaching into their practice without feeling guilty for charging more? We explore these questions,  and a lot more. Let's jump in! About KatieKatie Read helps the helping professionals step into their biggest lives…so they can serve in the biggest ways. She has been an LMFT forever, directed large agencies, taught grad school, supervised 40+ interns, written psych training materials, spoken at conferences, and had practices in various cities.She is also the creator of:The Clinician to Coach® Academy,The Clini-Coach® Certification,and the Six-Figure Flagship® Program. She's a special needs mom, a rescue dog mom, an eager-but-terrible karaoke singer, and an interior-designer-wannabe. This episode covers:[0:00] Intro[6:05] Getting in the room as ‘big energy'[8:25] What's a 'bad bitch reframe'[10:55] Conceptualizing and making sense of being a coach and building a coaching business[15:05] Therapy vs. coaching services [18:15] Advice for people wanting to cultivate their superpowers[23:30] Therapists being small and having a ‘martyr badge of honor'[27:50] The shadow side of the industry [28:35] Working against the idea that earning more money is a bad thing[31:40] What helps ADHD/squirrel brains to be more successful[37:20] The myth of having and wanting ‘more time'Resources mentioned in this episode:A Not So Meet Cute by Meghan Quinn Why Rewatching Titanic is Different Now40 Year Old VersionFree resources: www.katieread.com/freeConnect with Katie:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heykatieread/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/heykatiereadFacebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TherapreneursTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heykatiereadYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM4rN6VjkLmtoQXMxb4rjngWebsite: https://www.katieread.com Connect with me:Instagram: www.instagram.com/bad.bitch.therapistTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@badbitchtherapistWebsite: https://badbitchtherapist.co/Email: heyboo@badbitchtherapist.coBook a call: https://badbitchtherapist.co/contact DISCLAIMER: None of my online content or coaching services are to be considered as therapy or a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. These offerings are created for entertainment and educational purposes. For full disclaimer, visit https://badbitchtherapist.co/disclaimer .