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The Arise Podcast
Season 5, Episode 3: Election Conversations with Mr. Matthias Roberts and Rebecca Walston

The Arise Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2024 56:20


Matthias Roberts is a queer  psychotherapist (in Washington State) and the author of both "Holy Runaways:Rediscovering Faith After Being Burned by Religion" and "Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms". He is one of my favorite friends I met in graduate school, a human deeply committed to connection and curiosity,  and someone who I deeply admire. With Matthias, I feel a sense of belonging and openness to understanding the world and holding space for that curiosity which is so threatening elsewhere. Rebecca W. Walston is an African American lawyer, who also holds a MA Counseling, an all around boss babe. Rebecca runs a Law Practice and serves as General Legal Counsel for The Impact Movement, Inc.  She is someone who fiercely advocates for others freedom and healing. She is a dear friend and colleague, who anyone would be lucky to spend a dinner with talking about almost anything.Trigger Warning: Proceed only if you are comfortable with potentially sensitive topics.This is not psychological advice, service, or prescriptive treatment for anxiety or depression. The content related to descriptions of depression, anxiety, or despair may be upsetting or triggering, but are clearly not exhaustive. If you should feel symptoms of depression and/or anxiety, please seek professional mental health services, or contact (in Kitsap County) Kitsap Mobile Crisis Team at  1-888-910-0416. The line is staffed by professionals who are trained to determine the level of crisis services needed. Depending on the need, this may include dispatching the KMHS Mobile Crisis Outreach Team for emergency assessment. Speaker 1 (00:18):Welcome to the Rise podcast, conversations on faith, race, justice, gender, and spirituality. Today we're continuing our conversation on election humanity and politics. I have two guests today. I'm very excited about it. Matthias Roberts, who's a queer psychotherapist in Washington State, and the author of both Holy Runaways and Beyond Shame. Actually, he's one of my favorite friends I met in graduate school. I don't know if he knows that he's a human, deeply committed to connection and curiosity and someone I deeply admire with Matthias. I've always felt this sense of belonging and openness to understanding the world and holding space for that actual curiosity, which has seems so threatening elsewhere. So I want to thank Matthias for joining me and taking time out of his morning. And Rebecca Wheeler Walstead holds an MA in counseling an all around boss babe. Rebecca runs a law practice and serves as general legal counsel for the Impact movement, and she is someone who fiercely advocates for others freedom and healing. She's a dear friend, obviously she's a colleague and she's someone that anybody would be lucky to spend a dinner with talking about almost anything. So thank you, Rebecca, for joining me today.(01:40):I can say that for myself in my own experience, my anxiety is heightened overall and feelings that I can keep at bay with regular normal coping mechanisms such as exercise. It takes to me a little bit more and I have to offer myself a lot more grace in the process. I encourage you no matter where you are, to engage these topics with grace towards your own self, towards your neighbor, towards your family, and towards whoever's in your proximity. We won't get things done overnight no matter who we are, and we will get them done if we become more aligned and care more for those in our proximity, that means our neighbor. So if you're feeling or experiencing anxiety around the election or family or other triggers, I want you to encourage you to seek out and find someone to speak with. Maybe you need a mental health professional, maybe you need a spiritual advisor. Maybe it's your coach and it's something related to business. Maybe you need to go see your doctor for aches and pains you've been having. I don't know what it might be for you, but don't hesitate to reach out and get the help you need. We're going to jump into the conversation and voices from across the country. We are all different and we're not meant to be the same. I hope you find pieces of you in each of their stories. Hey, Rebecca. Hey, Matthias. Thanks for being with me today.Speaker 2 (03:06):Daniel, thanks for havingSpeaker 1 (03:07):Us. I just thought we would talk about this really amazing subject of politics and humanness because we're so good at it in the United States. Yeah, right. Y'all thoughts on that? Even as I say that, just politics and being human, what comes to mind?Speaker 2 (03:34):For me, there's almost a dual process happening. I think about my first thought was, well, politics are, but then I also thought about how when we separate institutions out from people, especially in the way that corporations tend to separate out how they become anti-human so quickly, and not that politics is necessarily a corporation, but I think there's a form of it. There's something corporate about it. And so I think about that juxtaposition and maybe the dichotomy there between, yeah, it's human, but I think it's also anti-human in the ways that it has to, I think almost by definition, separate from maybe these places of deep feeling or nuance in order to collapse all of that experience into something that people can rally on.Speaker 3 (04:51):I think there's something dehumanizing about our current politics, but I think that that is about power. I think when politics becomes about the consolidation of power or the perpetuation of power or the hanging on to it sort of desperately, then it no longer is about the people that the institutions and the country was built to serve and protect. And so I think there are all these ideals in our politics that on paper and in theory sound amazing, but when people in their humanness or maybe in the worst of our humanness step away from other people and not just people as sort of this collective generalized, but the actual person in front of you, the actual person in front of you and the story that they have and the life that they live, and how decisions and theories and ideals will impact the actual person in front of you. And when politics becomes about collecting power and maintaining that power at all costs, then it's no longer about people. It's no longer about lives. It's no longer about stories, and all those things become expendable in the name of the consolidation and the maintenance of power. And I think that at its heart is a human question. It's a question of selfishness and self-serving and maybe even self idolatry.Speaker 1 (06:49):I think that I agree, Matthias, I've been thinking a lot about, because in my family it's been a lot of comments like, well, we shouldn't talk about politics because we're family. I'm like, wait a minute, wait just a minute. Because the very politic that is being said from one angle is hurting the humanity of this other particular family member. How do we make sense of that? How do we say politics isn't a very human, the impact is meant to impact humans. The power is meant to impact humans, so the political sphere has become so toxic to us.Speaker 3 (07:40):Yeah, I think that sentence, we shouldn't talk about politics because we're family. It says more about maybe our fragility as a culture in this moment and our inability to have hard conversations without feeling like the difficulty of them fractures, relationships and familial bonds in ways that cannot be repaired or restored in any way. And I think it is also a statement about the toxicity of our politics that we have allowed it to get to a place where it actually threatens those kinds of familial bonds in some sense, you want go back to, you remember that book that was big in the nineties? All I ever learned about life I learned in kindergarten, right? All I ever needed to know, it reminds me of that because raising kids, I would raise my kids to say, there isn't anything on this earth that should fracture your bond as siblings. I raised them to believe that. I insisted that they engage the world from this vantage point that come hell or high water do or die is you and your sister. That's it. And it doesn't matter what happens in this world, there should never be a scenario in which that isn't true. And we have arrived at this place where people honestly believe that your political affiliation somehow threatens that.(09:19):That's sad and sad feels like a word that's not heavy enough to articulate. There's something wrong, really wrong if that's where we are,Speaker 2 (09:35):I think it speaks perhaps to our inability to do conflict well, and I'm the first, I don't do this all with my family at all. I'm terrible at conflict with my family, at least in the arena of politics. But I think about, I wonder if some of the fracturing that we say, I don't think it's all of it by any means, but is that reality of, because we can't have these conversations in our immediate family, it's getting projected into the wider, I mean, it has to play out somewhat. It is going to, that's the nature of it. So because we can't do it locally, it is having to play out on this grand scale. Rebecca, as you said, sad. I think it's horrifying too.Speaker 1 (10:44):It's what?Speaker 2 (10:45):Horrifying.Speaker 1 (10:46):Yes. It's very dangerous to be honest.Speaker 2 (10:54):It's very, yeah, those bonds, we have the familial bonds. Those are protective in some ways when we remove that, we remove those protections.Speaker 1 (11:11):I think we've been practicing at a society, and I'm talking particularly about the United States at ways of removing those bonds in multiple spheres of the way we've thought about life, the way we think about another person, the way we judge each other, the way we vote in past elections. I mean, the civil rights movement is pushing against that notion that family means dehumanizing someone else. And so even this idea of, I'm not even sure if I can say it right, but just how we've constructed the idea of family and what do our shared values mean. In some sense, it's been constructed on this false notion that someone is worth more than another person. Now, when that person shows up as fully human, then I think we don't know what to do with it.Speaker 3 (12:11):Yeah. I think something you said, Mathias about we don't do conflict well, right? I think rarely is any issue, black and white. Rarely is any issue. So clear cut and so definitive that you can boldly stand on one side or the other and stay there in perpetuity without ever having to wrestle or grapple with some complexity, some nuance. And I think maybe part of what we don't do well is that right? Somehow we've gotten to this space where we have maybe an oversimplified if that, I'm not even sure that's a good word, perspective on a number of issues as if there isn't any complexity and there isn't any nuance and there isn't any reason to pause and wonder if context or timing would change the way we think about something, right? And nor do we think that somehow changing your mind is no longer acceptable.(13:20):I think about, I saw a number of interviews with Kamala Harris. People talk to her about, well, why'd you change your mind about this or that? Why'd you change your perspective about this or that? And then part of the conversation was about when did we get to this place where growing and learning and changing your mind is bad for someone who is in the profession of holding public office since when can you not get in public office, learn some things differently, meet some new people, understand the issue better, and go, you know what? I need to change the way I think about this, but we are there. All of a sudden it means you're not fit for office, at least as it has been applied to Kamala Harris in this particular and even before her. The notion of a flip flopper is again to say you can't somehow change your mind.Speaker 2 (14:21):So that makes me start to then think about some of the myths, and I mean that deeper theological myth in the sense of not that it is untrue, but more in the sense of how it permeates culture. That's when I say myth and we have this idea or many people have this idea of a God that doesn't change, a God who doesn't change his mind as the ideal of there is right there is wrong, and the ideal is no change. And we have examples and scriptures, at least I believe, of a God who does change his mind, who sees what happens and change is what he does. And I think those can be compatible with maybe some ideas that maybe God doesn't change, but we also have examples of God changing his mind. But I think that has permeated our world of something unchanging is better than someone who or something who does change. And I wonder what that impact has beenSpeaker 3 (15:38):That made me pause. I certainly come out of a faith background of hold to God's unchanging hand. I mean, I can come up off the top of my head with a dozen different examples of the notion of he does not shift, he does not change. And the kind of comfort or solidity that can be found in this notion that we're not subject to the whim of his mood in any given time, but what you said causes me to think about it and to think about what does it mean to say that we live in a world where there is a God who can be persuaded by something in the human context that will cause him to respond or react differently than perhaps his original mindset is. I'm going to walk away from this conversation pondering that for a while. I think,Speaker 2 (16:30):Yeah, there are stories of that in scripture.Speaker 3 (16:36):The one that comes to my mind is the story of, and I'm not going to get all the names correct, so whoever's listening, forgive me for that. But the story that comes to my mind is the prophet of old who is pleaded with God for more time on earth, for more space to be alive and walk the earth as a human being. And God granted his request. And again, now there's a bit of a paradigm shift for me. What does it mean to say that I live in a world where there's a God who can be persuaded? I think the other thing when you said about a God who changes his mind, what comes up for me is also a God who holds extremely well the nuance and the complexity of our humanness and all that that means. And so often I find it's sort of the pharmaceutical attitude that we can have that things are rigid and there's only one way to see it and one way to do it. And if you ever watch Jesus's engagement with the Pharisees, it's always actually the problem is more complex than that. Actually the question you're asking is more than that. And so what matters less is the rule. What matters more is the impact of that rule. And if we need to change the rule in order for the appropriate impact, then let's do that.Speaker 1 (18:08):It's kind of gets back to something I've been learning in consultation, talking about this idea. I think we're talking about very young spaces collectively for our society. If I was to put it in that frame, the idea of as a child, a very young kid, even into your teenagers, you need to know something solid. You need to know that's not changing. That's the rule. That's what I got to do. And it's the parent's responsibility to make meaning and metabolize nuance for you and help you process through that. But one of our first developmental things is to split. This is good, this is bad, this person is safe, this person. That's a developmental process. But in somewhere we got stuck,Speaker 3 (18:54):It brings to my mind, you've heard me reference raising kids. And so I raised my kids to say this idea that you have to be respectful and thoughtful in your choices. And I always told my kid that so long as you are respectful and thoughtful in your choices, your voices will always be heard and welcomed kind of in our home. And so my daughter approached me, she's making an argument about something that I absolutely did not agree with her final conclusion. I was like, there's no version of anybody's universe where you're doing that, right? And she says to me, but you said if I was thoughtful and I was respectful that I could assert my position and I have been respectful in my tone and I've been thoughtful in my position. And she was absolutely right. Both had been true, and I found myself having to say, okay, now I sort of backed myself into a corner.(19:58):She followed me into it and the conversation ended up being about, Hey, that's true. Those are the parameters, but you're older now and the things that you're making decisions about have more impact and they're more nuanced and complex than that. So we need to add a couple more things to your rubric, and it's a hard conversation to have, but it makes me think about that developmental piece that you're saying, Danielle, that when we're younger, there's certain sort of bright line rules and the older you get and the more complex life gets, the more you need to be able to actually blur those lines a little bit and fudge them a little bit and sometimes color outside of the lines because it is the right thing to do.Speaker 2 (20:48):I think that movement from that really kind of rigid split into Rebecca what you're talking about, it requires that grappling with grief and loss, it requires that sense of even if I followed the rules, I didn't get what I wanted. And that is we have options there. We can rage against it and go back into the split, you are bad. I'm good, or actually grapple with that. I did everything I was supposed to and it still didn't work out in that words, it doesn't feel good and grieve and feel the pain of that and actually work with those parts of ourselves. And there is so much that our nation has not grieved, not repented from, and we are in the consequences of that.Speaker 1 (21:53):I was just thinking that Mathias, it's like we're asking one another to make meaning, but we're at a very base level of meaning making. We're trying to first discern, discern what is reality, and a lot of times we don't share reality, but when you're a baby, the reality is your caregiver hopefully, or even the absence of you become accustomed to that. And so I think we've become accustomed to this sense of almost this indoctrination of a certain type of religion, which I would call white evangelical Christianity, where they're telling you, I can make sense of all of this from the perspective of race. I can do that for you. Whether they talk about it explicitly or not, they're like, I can tell you what's good and bad from this perspective, but then if you add in how do you make sense of all the Christians vote for Trump and 84% of African-Americans are going to vote for Kamala Harris. I grew up thinking, are those people not Christians? I didn't know as a kid, I was raised with my father. I didn't understand, didn't make sense to me, but I thought, how could so many people as a child, I actually had this thought, how could so many people not know Jesus, but go to church and how could all these people know Jesus and say they're going to heaven? It never made sense to me.Speaker 3 (23:19):I mean, what you're saying, Danielle, is probably why there is a very clear historical and present day distinction between white evangelism and the black church. That's why those two things exist in different spaces because even from the very beginning, white evangelicalism or what became white evangelicalism advocated for slavery, and Frederick Douglass learned how to read by reading the scripture at risk to his own life and to the white slave owner who taught him how to read. And once he learned to read and absorbed the scriptures for himself, his comment is there is no greater dichotomy than the Christianity of this world and the Christianity of scripture. And so your sense that it doesn't make any sense is as old as the first enslaved African who knew how to understand the God of the Bible for him or herself and started to say out loud, we got problems, Houston.Speaker 1 (24:39):Yeah, I remember that as a young child asking that question because it just never made sense to me. And obviously I understand now, but as a kid you grow up with a certain particular family, a Mexican mom, a white father. I didn't know how to make sense of that.Speaker 3 (25:04):I mean, you say, oh, even now I understand and I want to go. You do. I don't explain that to me. I mean, there's a certain sense in which I think we're all in many ways, and I say all the country as a whole church, the American church as a whole trying to make sense of what is that, what was that and what do we do now that the modern sort of white evangelical movement is essentially the Christianity of our entire generation. And so now that that's being called into question in a way that suggests that perhaps it is white and it's religious, but it might not in fact be the Christianity of the Bible. Now what do we do? And I've spent some time in recent years with you, Danielle, in some Native American spaces in the presence of theologians who reckoned with things of God from a Native American perspective.(26:09):And if nothing else, I have learned there's a whole bunch. I don't know about what it means to walk with the God of the Bible and that my native brothers and sisters know some things I don't know, and I am kind of mad about it. I'm kind of angry actually about what it is they know that was kept from me that I was taught to dismiss because the author of those ideas didn't look like the white Jesus whose picture was in my Bible or on the vacation Bible school curriculum or whatever. I'm sort of angry at the wisdom they hold for what it means to be a follower of what I think in many native spaces they would refer to as creator, and that was withheld from me. That would've changed the way, enhanced the way I understand this place of faith. And something that white evangel and evangelicalism expressly said was heresy was of the devil was to be ignored or dismissed or dismantled or buried.Speaker 1 (27:31):I mean, you have Tucker Carlson referring to Trump as daddy in a recent speech. So you then have this figure that can say, Hey, little kids, don't worry. Your worldview is okay. It's still right and let me make sense of it. I can make sense of it for you with X, Y, Z policies with racist rhetoric and banter. I can do anything I want. I can show up in Madison Square Garden and replicate this horrific political rally and I can do it and everybody will be okay with it, even if they're not okay, they're not going to stop me. So we still have a meaning maker out there. I mean, he is not making my meaning, but he's making meaning. For a lot of folks.Speaker 3 (28:29):It is even worse than that. There's a couple of documentaries that are out now. One's called Bad Faith, the other one's called God and Country, and in one of them, I think it was Bad Faith, and they're talking about the rise of Christian nationalism. For me, as a person of faith, one of my biggest questions has always been, there's nothing about this man's rhetoric that remotely reflects anything I ever learned in every Sunday school class and every vacation Bible school, in every Bible study and every church service I've ever been to. He is boldly antithetical to all of it.(29:06):And he says that out loud, right back to his comments about, no, I've never asked God for forgiveness because I've never done anything that warranted forgiveness that is antithetical to the heart of evangelical Christianity that asserts that the only way to God and to heaven in the afterlife is through the person of Jesus Christ. And so every person has to admit their own sin and then accept Christ as the atonement for that sin. And he bluntly says, I don't do that. Right. So my question has always been, I don't get it right. Two plus two is now four in your world. So how are 80% of evangelicals or higher voting for this man? And in that movie, bad faith, they talk about, they make reference to the tradition of Old Testament scripture of a king who is not a follower of God, who God sort of uses anyway towards the bent of his own will.(30:18):And there's probably a number of references in Old Testament scripture if I was an Old Testament theologian, some of the people who have invested in me, I could give you names and places and dates. I can't do that. But there is a tradition of that sort of space being held and the notion what's being taught in some of these churches on Sundays and on Wednesday night Bible study is that's who he is. That's who Trump is in a religious framework. And so he gets a pass and permission to be as outlandish and as provocative and as mean spirited and as dare I say, evil or bad as he wants to be. And there is no accountability for him in this life, or the next one, which I don't even know what to say to that, except it's the genius move to gaslight an entire generation of Christians that will probably take hold and be with us for far longer than Trump is on the political landscape.Speaker 2 (31:29):I am not fully convinced it's gaslighting. On one hand it is. They're saying one thing, doing another. It absolutely is by definition. And I think growing up in white evangelicalism, there is, at least for the men, I think an implicit belief, I don't even think it's explicit. It's becoming explicit that they get that past too. It functions on those passes, those senses of we don't have to hold up to accountability. And I think we see that in all the sexual abuse scandals. We see that in the narcissism of so many white evangelical pastors. There is this sense of, as long as we're in this system, there isn't accountability. And so you can say one thing and do another, and it doesn't matter. You have God's authority over you and therefore it's okay. And so I think there's something, I'm right there with you, it doesn't make any sense, but I think it's also quite consistent with the way that authority has been structured within thoseSpeaker 1 (33:14):Spaces that you said that I felt like, I don't know if you ever get your heartbeat right in your neck, but I had it right there. Oh, yeah. I think that feels true. Yeah, it's gaslighting, but also it's meant to be that way.Speaker 3 (33:39):Do you think that that's new math or is that at the inception? What do you attribute the origin of that? And I don't disagree with you, I'm just sitting here like, damn, okay, so where does that come from and how long has it been there?Speaker 2 (34:04):I don't know. I have guesses. I think, how do you enslave an entire people without something like that and then found literal denominations that are structured on these power and authority? It goes back to what you were saying at the beginning, Rebecca, it's about power and accountability supports power.Speaker 3 (34:50):Yeah. Have you read The Color of Compromise?Speaker 2 (34:59):There's a documentary by that same name, right? The filmSpeaker 3 (35:02):There might beSpeaker 2 (35:05):See the film. Yeah.Speaker 3 (35:07):So he makes a comment in the book. He is writing this chapter about sort of the origins of the country and the country is as the colonies are being formed before it is a country, the colonists are in this sort of public debate about slavery and Christianity. And at least in tissie's research, there's sort of this group of colonists who come to the United States or what will become the US for the sake of proselytizing, evangelizing who they term savage, native and then enslaved Africans. And they're having this public conversation about does the conversion of a native or an African to Christianity remove them from slavery, essentially? Can you theologically own someone who's a profess child of God?(36:32):And Tse says that the origin of that debate has to do with an old English law that said that you can't enslave someone who is of the faith. And I remember reading that and thinking to myself, there's something wrong with the logic that you think you have the right to own any human being regardless of their faith belief system or not. There's something wrong with the premise in general that you believe as another human being, you have the right to own or exercise dominion over another human soul. So those are the things that go across my mind as I listen to you talk and propose the notion that this issue has been there, this flaw in the thinking has been there from the beginning.Speaker 1 (37:40):I was just thinking, I am reading this book by Paola Ramos about defectors and how Latinos in the US have moved to the far right, and she makes a case that the faith of the Spaniards told them that in order to achieve superiority, they should basically make babies with the indigenous peoples of the Americas. And they went about and did that. And then I know we always think popular literature, the United States, oh, India has this caste system. That's what people say, but really Latin America has a really complex caste system too. And to which after they brought over, and Rebecca and I know Matthias, you guys know this, but after they brought over stole African human bodies, a majority of them came Latin America, what we know as Latin America, they didn't come here to the United States to the continental us. And so then you have this alliance then between, and I'll bring it back to politics between these mixed Spaniards with indigenous folks also in enslaving Africans.(38:56):So then you get to our political commentary and you're recruiting Latinos then to join the Evangelical white church movement. And they've often been demonized and excluded in spaces because of citizenship, which adds its own complexity where African-Americans, now they have citizenship right now on the current day, but then you have these Latinos that it can be born or they're brought over on daca. So then you have this complexity where not only is there this historical century hating of African-Americans and black folks in Latino culture, but you also have this sense of that to get ahead, you have to align with white folks to come against African-Americans. You have all of that in the mix, and also then you also have to deny yourself and the fact that you have African heritage and indigenous heritage, so it's this huge mind fuck, right? How do you make sense of that colonial jargon in the political landscape? And then how does a Latino think, how do they actually encounter the nuance of their humanity and all of that, but complexly set up by the Spanish who said, we're going to enslave this X people group. In the meantime, we'll just mix our mix with this certain race, but the white people will be more dominant. And so you see that all comes into the United States politic and who gets to be human and who gets not to be human.Speaker 3 (40:44):I mean, in some ways, Daniel, you're pointing out that, and I think this goes back to math's point of several minutes ago, none of this is new under the sun. All of this is just current day manifestations or reenactments of a racialized dynamic that's been in play since forever, since even before maybe even the American colonies, right? Because what happened in terms of the transatlantic slave trade in Latin America predates some of that.Speaker 2 (41:18):Yeah. I mean, I think about England colonizing a huge portion of the world under the name of their faith that requires quite a distancing from accountability in humanity. Then you get an extreme fringe of those folks starting their own colonies.Speaker 3 (41:47):I mean, it does make me think, and my Pentecostalism is about the show, but it does make me think that there's something about this whole dynamic that's starting to feel really ancient and very old patterns that have been in place, and to me suggests from a spiritual standpoint, an enemy that is organized and intentional, and I have begun to wonder less than a week out from the election, what's the game plan if the election doesn't go the way I hope it does? What happens if America decides to give into its lesser urges as it has done in the past, and choose a path that is contrary and antithetical to its ideals what we're going to do? I ask that not even from a practical standpoint as much as spiritually speaking, how am I going to breathe and how am I going to make meaning of what you do with a world where that's the reality? We were talking before we got on air about the rally in Times Square and we can rail against it all we want, but there was hundreds of thousands of people there saying, yeah, let's do that.Speaker 4 (43:40):That scares me. AndSpeaker 2 (43:52):It doesn't go away. Even if Harris wins, I think your question of what do we do if Trump wins? It's a sobering question. It's a terrifying question, but I think it's also a very similar question of even if she wins, what do we do? What do we do? These people don't magically disappear.Speaker 1 (44:30):We're going to have to do no matter what. I just feel like there has to be some sort of, like you said, Mathias, just processing of the grief of our past because it's chasing us. You can hear it in each of our stories. It is just chasing us what we've been a part of, what we've been asked to give up. And I think America, well, the United States, not America, but the United States is terrified of what it would mean if it had to face that kind of grief.Speaker 3 (45:23):I don't know about that, Danielle, because for there to be terror would mean that you have had some conscious admission that something is gravely wrong. And I'm not even sure if we're there yet. I think America as a whole has a whole lot of defense mechanisms and coping mechanisms in place, so they never even have to get that far. And I don't know what you call that, what comes before the terror, right? Because terror would mean some part of you has admitted something, and I just don't know if we're there. And that's just me meandering through a thought process. ButSpeaker 1 (46:19):Oh, that's scary too, right? I think you're probably right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think we're going to bump up against our time. I know, Mathias, you have something coming up too, but any final thoughts? I don't expect us to solve anything or wrap it up, butSpeaker 2 (46:47):I'm just noting how I'm feeling and there's something both sobering and grounding about this conversation. I don't think we've covered really any kind of necessarily new territory, but to continue to speak these things, it's so brain, but it's also like, okay, we can ground ourselves in these things though. These things are true and it's terrible, but when we ground ourselves, we have ground just, and that feels different from some of the up in the air anxiety I was feeling before coming to this coverage, just the general anxiety of the election that is so pervasive. So that's a shift.Speaker 3 (47:53):I think I found myself looking back a lot in recent days back to the history of the story of African hyphen Americans in the United States, back to some fundamental things that I learned about my faith early on. And I have a sense of needing to return to those things as part of grounding that regardless of what happens in the next week or the next several months or even the next six months, we have been here before as a country, as a people, and we have survived it, and we will do so again. If I think about the black national anthem, God of our weary years, God of our silent tears, and I have found myself needing to return to those traditions and those truths, and I think I'll stay there for as long as my mind and my body and my emotions will allow me to as a way of breathing through the next several days. I mean, talk to me on November 6th. That might be in a very different place, or January 6th or January 20th, but for today, I find myself looking back, I have some curiosity for each of you. What are those traditions for you, in your own spaces, in your family, in your culture, in your people? What are the things that have grounded you in the past, and can they ground you again going forward?Speaker 2 (49:43):I'm sitting here finding myself wanting to come up with some beautiful answer. And the reality is I don't know that I have a beautiful answer. It's a difficult task.Speaker 1 (50:00):Yeah. I mean, no, we're wrapping up. I can't give you anything clever except I think what comes to mind is I often just tell myself just the next hour, the next day, sometimes I don't even think about tomorrow. I tell myself, don't rush too much. You don't know what's in tomorrow. Today's going to be okay. So I kind of coach myself up like stay in the moment.Speaker 3 (50:38):And in all fairness, Danielle, your people, if you will, are facing a very different kind of threat under a Trump presidency than mine are, and that is, I'm firmly of the belief if he's going to come for one of us, eventually he will come for all of us. But I'm also very aware that the most pressing existential threat is coming against people of Latinx descent people who very well may be American citizens, are facing the potential reality that won't matter. And so your sense of blackness gay through the next hour, I'm good. I have a lot of respect for what these days are requiring of you. Thank you.Speaker 1 (51:43):Thanks for hopping on here with me, guys.Speaker 2 (51:47):Thank you.   Well, first I guess I would have to believe that there was or is an actual political dialogue taking place that I could potentially be a part of. And honestly, I'm not sure that I believe that.

Real Money, Real Experts
Beyond Shame & Blame: Building Bold Money Habits with Syble Solomon

Real Money, Real Experts

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2024 38:17 Transcription Available


In this insightful episode of Real Money, Real Experts, we sit down with Syble Solomon, the visionary behind Money Habitudes and a trailblazer in the world of financial behavior. Syble shares her unique journey, from her early career as a Peace Corps volunteer to becoming a Financial Behavior Specialist, transforming how people understand their relationship with money. We explore her "deck of cards" approach to life, the pivotal moments that shaped her work, and how AFCPE® has played a crucial role in her success. Get a sneak peek into AFCPE 2024, learn about Syble's breakthrough moments with debt, and hear her powerful message about being bold in your money habits. This episode is packed with wisdom, motivation, and practical advice for meeting people where they are and empowering them to move forward.Show Notes: 02:53 Who is Syble Solomon?06:39 The beginning of Money Habitudes09:55 Syble's debt breakthrough 11:34 Dealing with the deck of cards life throws at you16:45 AFCPE to the rescue!17:28 How AFCPE impacted Money Habitudes20:10 Safe and Sound: A sneak peek at AFCPE2024!28:40 How to be bold in your money habits33:44 Syble's 2 centsShow Note Links:  https://www.moneyhabitudes.com/ https://shop.moneyhabitudes.com/cards/ https://www.afcpe.org/symposium/ https://www.freefrom.org/ Want to get involved with AFCPE®?Here are a few places to start: Become a Member, Sign up for an Essentials Course, or Get AFC Certified today! Want to support the podcast? We love partnering with organizations that share our mission and values. Download our media kit.

The Core
Alexa Noben • Voice for Wellness, Realness, Fitness, Healthy Eating and Living Beyond Shame

The Core

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 25, 2024 33:43


Thanks for listening to the Dale Allen Podcast.  ~Dive into the deep archetypal feminine with and the brilliance of your own right brain with "In Our Right Minds":https://www.inourrightminds.netAward-Winning FILMBestselling BOOK ~In this episode I talk with Alexa Noben.  Alexa is a 25 year old personal trainer and certified holistic health coach who works primarily with women.  Alexa has over 66,000 followers on tiktok, and 108,000 followers on Instagram.  Her own journey to wholeness after her experience with mental health challenges and disordered eating challenges has made her a positive voice for: Wellness • Fitness • Realness • and Healthy Eating ~https://www.tiktok.com/@alexanobanhttps://www.instagram.com/alexanoban/~Be sure to subscribe to the Dale Allen podcast in order to support the work and… stay connected!  Support the show

Life Passion and Business
Beyond Shame and Guilt with Lois Hollis

Life Passion and Business

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 11, 2024 44:09


Following the Shortcast at the weekend, where we explored the power of Self-Talk, we touched on the issue of shame and guilt, which reminded me of my conversation with Lois Hollis, a woman in her 70s who achieved so much, yet that early trauma came back to haunt her.    It is a story of transcending the past and moving towards the future, and well worth a review.  This show was first aired in July 2022 Where are you in life with the big emotional bricks like shame and guilt? Do you reflect on past events or experience these feelings in current relationships? For most of us, this stuff is part of our makeup; we are unaware of it. Having listened to my guest on the show today, I became conscious of my shame and guilt for past actions and how I have used shame in my family interactions.  My guest on the show has always been a pioneer. Lois Hollis is in her late 70s, deeply connected to God and her faith, and driven by a calling that started in childhood. Her early years were tough. With physical abuse at home, she received multiple head and neck injuries. One of these occasions led to a near-death experience where she received her calling.  At church, she was preached into guilt and shame to find her sins; the teachers at school punished her for dyslexia. Her solace was tap dancing. She loved tap dancing, and she tells me it was tap dancing that pulled her through. It worked because she finished high school, applied to nursing school at the University of Pennsylvania, and received a scholarship. At college, Lois earned an RN and BSN nursing degree and went on to a job at Jefferson Hospital in Philadelphia. Her creative approach to problems was recognised, and she was invited to join a programme that went on to develop the first Kidney Hemorrhage Units in the USA in 1966. She became a pioneer of the kidney dialysis foundation, stayed in the programme for ten years, leaving it behind to have a family, and was blessed with three daughters.  Then life took a turn. Now in her 40s, she experienced headaches that became migraine that developed into a range of other life-threatening problems. It reached a point where she was told she would not live beyond her 50s.   Those childhood traumas and physical abuse had a price it was discovered there were broken bones in her neck and back. Our conversation concerns physical, mental, and spiritual recovery and a wonderfully inspiring journey.   Today Lois Hollis works with shame and guilt as an independent study. She is bringing new knowledge of these misunderstood conditions. She is a filmmaker, author of 3 books, a speaker and a coach.     Further details about this podcast along with my Guest's website and social links are all available at: https://www.lifepassionandbusiness.com/lois-hollis-beyond-shame     Life Passion & Business is dedicated to exploring what it takes to be Extraordinary, to face challenges and rejoice in the opportunities they bring, and expand our vision into new ways of thinking and living. There is a lot to gain from listening to other people's stories, however the real work begins by taking action in your own life. For full details of Events, Resources and Services visit: www.lifepassionandbusiness.com     Support For Podcasters: Running a podcast is fun, but it takes time and dedication. Whenever you enjoy a podcast please share your appreciation with comments, likes, shares and reviews. It helps other listeners find good content and supports the content creators and their guests. Another way you can support the Life Passion & Business podcast is with small donations: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lifeandpassion

The Addicted Mind Podcast
TAM+ EP33: Beyond Shame and Stigma: The Life-Changing Power of Asking for Help

The Addicted Mind Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2024 17:11


Have you ever felt like reaching out for help is a sign of weakness? You're not alone. In this eye-opening episode of the Addicted Mind podcast, hosts Duane Osterlind and Eric Osterlind delve into the powerful impact of asking for help on the journey to recovery. Asking for help can be one of the hardest steps in addiction recovery, but it's also one of the most crucial. Duane and Eric discuss common barriers like shame, denial, and fear of vulnerability that keep people from seeking the support they need. They share personal stories and insights from their experiences as therapists, emphasizing that recovery flourishes in connection and not in isolation. Listen in as they break down five key internal beliefs that often prevent people from reaching out and offer practical advice on overcoming these hurdles. By the end of the episode, you'll understand why seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a profound act of courage and strength. Download: BUILDING YOUR SUPPORT NETWORK AND ASKING FOR HELP Join Our Deep Dive, where we discuss this episode in depth. Register Here: https://theaddictedmind.com/deepdive Click Here to Join the TAM + Community Waitlist. Get the support you need. Key topics • The 5 main barriers to asking for help in addiction recovery • Why social support is crucial for maintaining long-term sobriety • How childhood experiences can affect our ability to seek help • The importance of vulnerability in the recovery process • Practical steps to overcome the fear of asking for support • Free resources to help build your support network Timestamps [00:01:06] Introduction to the importance of asking for help in recovery [00:03:51] Discussing the 5 internal beliefs that prevent people from seeking help [00:04:12] Exploring shame and stigma as barriers [00:05:26] Addressing denial in addiction [00:06:34] The fear of vulnerability and its roots [00:08:00] Self-reliance mindset and its impact on seeking help [00:09:57] Dealing with hopelessness in addiction recovery Follow and Review: We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center NovusMindfulLife.com We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind Disclaimer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SAPC Sermons
Beyond Shame: A Pride Day Reflection

SAPC Sermons

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2024 38:32


Sermon by Carolyn Foster on Psalm 130 and Mark 5:21, 25-34, recorded for virtual worship on Sunday, June 30, 2024.

Reveal Community Church
Embrace Grace - A Journey Beyond Shame

Reveal Community Church

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 11, 2024 110:29


Join Brenda McGinnis as she shares a message of grace and her own testimony of being lifted from shame to the understanding of grace.

East2West_WLS: The Podcast
175- Breaking Free: A Guide for Bariatric Patients to Lift and Move Beyond Shame with Dr. Eric Smith, DO

East2West_WLS: The Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 12, 2023 45:55


Welcome to a transformative episode of The BariNation Podcast, a show dedicated to supporting individuals on their bariatric and weight loss journey. In this episode, we explore the pivotal topic of lifting the heavy burden of shame. We draw inspiration and insights from Dr. Eric Smith, the Director of the Kentucky Bariatric Institute and BariNation co-founders and hosts April Williams and Natalie Tierney. Dr. Brené Brown defines shame as “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging—something we've experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.” As patients, we have experienced this shame for years, if not decades, before our bariatric surgery. We often call this the “work of weight loss surgery,” and in this episode, Dr. Smith shares how has learned from the shame he has experienced in his own, personal life and helps his patients utilize those lessons.  Join us as we delve into the strategies employed by Dr. Eric Smith, April, and Natalie to lift the weight of shame. By fostering empathy and understanding, destigmatizing weight issues, promoting self-compassion, celebrating victories, sharing our shame and struggles with a trusted community, and redefining success, bariatric patients can navigate their transformative journey with resilience and pride. It is in a community like BariNation that you can begin to foster a sense of community and break the isolation that shame can breed. Subscribe to The BariNation Podcast for more insights and inspiration on your weight loss surgery journey. If you found this episode helpful, please leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform and share it with others who might benefit from this information. You can help us produce this show by becoming a $5 monthly Patreon support! Visit www.barinationpodcast.com to become a supporter!  You're not alone on this journey. Join the BariNation Support Community and connect with people working through weight recurrence. We offer Regain support groups led by bariatric therapists and meetups where you can connect with other people just like you. Visit us at https://barination.mn.co to learn more about our inclusive and welcoming support community!  About our Guest: Dr. Eric Smith, DO is the Medical Director of the Kentucky Bariatric Institute and a Key Opinion Leader in Bariatric Medicine and Robotic Surgery. He is a National proctor, speaker, and teacher for Intuitive Surgical in the specialty of robotic bariatric surgery and is board-certified in bariatric and robotic surgery. He is a member of the American Society of Metabolic and Bariatric Surgeons (ASMBS). He is an engaged, caring, and dedicated physician who has completed thousands of bariatric surgeries since 2006. About Your Hosts: April Williams, Jason Smith, and Natalie Tierney are all bariatric patients who were inspired to create the community and support they needed. BariNation empowers people to treat their disease of obesity in kind, compassionate, and caring ways through the community they founded. As they learn to live the pillars of bariatric success (movement, mindset, metabolic wellness), they share their experiences and “aha” moments with their friends and followers.  About BariNation: BariNation is a bariatric educational organization on a mission to empower patients to access and utilize the tools, resources, and education needed to find and maintain personal wellness. We connect patients with the support they need, when and where they need it. BariNation produces an award-winning weekly podcast distributed on all major podcast and video platforms and hosts a support membership community that teams up with credentialed and licensed bariatric experts and clinicians.  Follow BariNation on Instagram, TikTok, and Pinterest. Connect with us personally on Instagram; April @actively_april, Jason @tha_smithsonian, and Natalie @breakingbari_ers. You've got this and we've got you! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/barination/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/barination/support

The Ruth Stone House Podcast
A Place Beyond Shame: Ed Steck on the B Horror Film of Life

The Ruth Stone House Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2023


Talking today about the work of creating a book from our private work on the self, reckoning with the most unbearable past; as it overlaps and interacts with the art in our lives, which in turn connects to the history of our relationship with art and others: Ed Steck, who spent much of his childhood […]

Life Upgrade
Redefining Success Beyond Shame

Life Upgrade

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2023 30:02


Embark on a profound exploration of the human psyche in our latest podcast episode, titled "Redefining Success Beyond Shame," featuring the insightful Jill Shultz. Join us as we unravel the intricate layers of shame, delving into its nuanced definition and its intricate relationship with trauma. Jill courageously shares her narrative, recounting the shadows cast by early childhood sexual abuse and navigating the profound effects of shame on the human mind.In this riveting conversation, we dissect the intersections of trauma and shame, offering insights into the complexities of healing and resilience. Through introspective discussions, Jill sheds light on the transformative journey from the depths of shame to a redefined notion of success.This episode serves as a poignant reminder of the strength within vulnerability and the power of storytelling in fostering empathy and understanding. Tune in for a captivating exploration of the human experience, as we navigate the intersections of trauma, shame, and the pursuit of authentic success with the remarkable Jill Shultz.Jill Shultz LinksBook: https://www.jilleschultz.com/bookWebsite: https://jilleschultz.comFREE Gift - Seven Critical Steps to Heal from Secret: https://unshamed.live/7CriticalStepstoHealfromSecretRecommended Links -* Please donate to the Life Upgrade Podcast, we need your help to keep changing lives.* Join my private Community a place where greater minds gather to test world-changing ideas, receive support, and improve their lives* To enjoy the video version please join the YouTube and TikTok communityThanks for reading Paragon Legacies! Subscribe to kickstart your legacy-building process This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fulfillmentobi.substack.com

Design Your Destiny
Move Beyond Shame by: Redefining Your Story for a Fulfilling Life

Design Your Destiny

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2023 18:24


In this episode of Design Your Destiny, I delve deep into understanding and navigating the complex emotion of shame. I share how shame often originates from our perceived wrong decisions and the stories we build around these experiences. These stories often revolve around guilt, fear, and a desire for acceptance. We explored the power of identifying and addressing each of these emotions separately, and the liberating realization that shame is a self-imposed feeling. By developing our emotional intelligence, we can better understand our emotions, opening ourselves up to a more fulfilling human experience. I emphasized the importance of maintaining a state of gratitude, contentment, and peace, and shared the reminder that we have the ultimate power to create fulfilling lives. We spoke of the dangers of perfectionist expectations and the role they play in fostering shame. Free yourself from shame, and lean into a more authentic and peaceful way of living. It's about understanding our emotions, accepting our human imperfections, and knowing that it's in our hands to create a life we truly love. Leaning into the possibility of life is exciting, and sometimes scary at the same time. Do I REALLY have infinite potential? I say don't get attached to what will or will not happen and allow yourself to experience what that future feels like. If life is good and you know it can be even sweeter, juicer and peaceful join me in Sedona for the all-inclusive Ultimate Alignment Retreat. 11 women, 3 days with limitless possibilities! Save $1000 when you register by 8/8. Click the link for more info:               https://pennychiasson.com/ultimate-alignment-retreat-2024/    

Elm City Vineyard Church Talks
Resurrected Lives: Life Beyond Shame & Condemnation // Matt Croasmun

Elm City Vineyard Church Talks

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 23, 2023 43:48


In our new series, Resurrected Lives, we will explore what it means to live post-Easter lives in light of Jesus' resurrection. If Jesus has been raised, so can we. But sometimes, it takes more than three days to believe that for us. For the first two weeks of our series, we will look at what kind of lives are possible through the story of Acts. Then, as a Church, we will walk through several hot-button topics like money, sex, parenting, and power to see what kind of difference resurrection makes for these areas in our lives. If resurrection has the power to transform death to life, shame to honor and forgiveness, isolation to community, and scarcity to abundance, then how might living in light of that kind of resurrection change us? Come and see!

On This Walk
A Look at Masculinity Beyond Shame

On This Walk

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2023 78:15


What would it mean for you to be without shame? As human beings, as part of nature, we're naturally drawn to wanting to restore balance and peace within our lives, and there are two ways in which we can do it – the healthy way, or the unhealthy way. In today's episode, we dig deep into how we can allow ourselves to feel the things we do not want to feel: shame, anger, grief, and so on, and learn to find the deeper message underneath it. Accompanying me on today's walk are William Walker and David Bryan, and together we discuss shame from multiple angles and views ranging from shame being a protective shield to shame redefining our masculinity. In This Episode (05:54) – Describing the different types of shame. (08:53) – On being riddled and crippled by shame. (17:31) – Disempowering patterns, beliefs, and behaviors. (22:13) – Giving voice to all parts of you, shameful and proud.   (32:36) – Beautifully redefining manhood. (35:32) – Shame is your protector. (51:08) – Identifying the definitions of masculinity within you. (51:33) – David recalls a moment of self-accountability and self-acceptance. (1:03:00) – William on how men are terrified of knowing who they are. (1:03:26) – On being accountable to align your souls. (1:11:18) – Creating a compelling vision to justify the pain of change. Notable Quotes “My experience working with a lot of men and also myself is that sometimes men are terrified to know who they are. They're terrified because they built a life in an image around being a certain kind of man, and they're being loved for being a certain kind of man. What if they change what people still love them? Will they still have the status they have? Will their wife still love them? Will their kids still love them? Men are terrified about that because they want to be responsible for their environments and they should be. But there is a part of this I think every man has to face, which is you have to be responsible, but you also have to be true to yourself. If you're not true to yourself, you're going to be miserable. You're going to make people suffer anyway. So you have to do both.” William (1:03:00) “My father stood in front of them, and he said these words. Every one of you on this committee I've gotten to know personally and each of you has shared intimate details about things that you would not want to be mentioned in this room. So, if you're judging me today and you want to excommunicate me, pull the trigger. I've never been more proud of my father than in that moment because he knew his humanity. He knew who he was. He knew he had failed.” David (56:04) Our Guests William Walker coaches men and leaders on their personal and leadership development. Over the past 20 years he has worked with diverse adult and youth populations including men, executives, entrepreneurs, thought leaders, community leaders, inmates, adolescent boys, at-risk teenagers, and university students. He is the author of Walk of Honor and Stories of Sovereign Man and has written several articles on men's health, organizational learning and leadership, personal mastery, and masculinity. David Bryan became a father at 21. Throughout much of his life in both white-collar and blue-collar jobs, he struggled to provide financially, wrestled with a victim mindset, and lived paycheck to paycheck. In 2013, David committed to changing his life and was immersed in the teachings of Tony Robbins, and Eric Thomas, among others. Over the next decade, David went from being homeless to building a multi-million-dollar construction management firm, in the halls of Harvard Business School.  Resources & Links On This Walk https://www.facebook.com/dlukeiorio https://www.linkedin.com/in/lukeiorio/ https://instagram.com/dlukeiorio https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow

Mornings with Eric and Brigitte
Beyond Shame - with Marti Wibbels

Mornings with Eric and Brigitte

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2023 17:37


Kindled by real or imagined failure, the painful emotion known as shame can be rooted in blame or self-condemnation. Conscious or unconscious, shame can be activated in childhood or adulthood and often includes an intense fear of rejection and an uncomfortable, sometimes imperceptible, sense of being unable to meet either one’s own or others’ expectations. On Tuesday's Mornings with Eric and Brigitte, licensed professional counselor, Marti Wibbels joins us to help us learn to recognize shame's impact on our minds and bodies and how to practically move beyond shame. Beyond Shame.pdfSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thriving Adoptees - Inspiration For Adoptive Parents & Adoptees
Beyond Shame With Birth Mother Patricia Florin

Thriving Adoptees - Inspiration For Adoptive Parents & Adoptees

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 4, 2023 51:53


Shame is incredibly toxic. Birth mothers suffer, adoptees suffer. Listen in as we go deep into shame from birth mother Patricia's perspective. Some things lead us to change our mind, others lead to a change of heart. Others - like moving beyond shame -change our world. Listen in to one of our most profound episodes yet. Here's a link to the Primal Wound video I talk about https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnz7I7V_IOQ&Here's a link to the podcast episode with the audio version of that https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/whole-healing-my-primal-wound-webinar-recordingI was born the seventh of eight children to an Irish Catholic family living in the western suburbs of Chicago. When I got pregnant at fifteen, I was hidden in our home until I gave birth to a baby girl and signed the papers releasing her to adoption. I was to keep her birth a secret​In 1975 I married and four years later migrated to Oregon with my husband, Steve, and our four-year-old son. There we had two more children and I juggled child-raising with running a word processing business in Ashland, Oregon.That beautiful baby girl came back to find me. Hard as it was to deal with my own grief and shame and to break my silence about her, I was, and am, so glad she searched. I wanted her in my life, and we rewove our family to include her in whatever way she feels comfortable.In 1998 another change: My husband, Steve, and I bought land in Williams, Oregon, to start an organic farm and build a strawbale house. We did all that, and twenty-two years later we sold the farm and moved close to conveniences like grocery stores and doctors. Now I devote most of my time to freelance editing, and writing fiction, memoir, and poetry. If you are on the adoption journey, I hope you find A Life Let Go... helpful to you. And if you know someone on the adoption journey and they reach out for support, I hope you will offer them a cup of tea (or a glass of wine?) and a good listen. https://www.patriciaflorin.info/https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100046448443902&ref=hlhttps://twitter.com/pjflorin3 

The Raincoat Report
Tetseka, the Iron Woman - A Place Beyond Shame

The Raincoat Report

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2022 51:20


Jeremy and Boss repeatedly count backwards from ninety-nine to ninety and learn not to trust psychiatrists as they dig into Fred Lincoln and Sharon Mitchell's A Place Beyond Shame.

The Living Room Podcast
Living Beyond Shame w/ Matthias Roberts

The Living Room Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2022 52:37


Matthias Roberts is a queer psychotherapist, podcaster and author of Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms and co-hosts Selfie alongside fellow therapist Kristen Howerton. He holds two master's degrees, one in Theology and Culture and the one in Counseling Psychology from The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. Matthias writes and speaks nationwide about the intersections between gender, sexuality, mental health, and theology. His newest book, Holy Runaways will release Fall 2023 In the show today, we talked about navigating life through the shame that comes with accepting our sexuality.    Topic Discussed    2:47 About the book, "Beyond Shame." 12:35 The effect of splitting sexual identities to gain acceptance. 25:59 Compromise doesn't always solve issues. 34:24 Dealing with not being accepted. 49:38 Mathias's new book, "Holy Runaways." If this has added value to you please consider partnering with us by joining Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/joluehmann

Life Passion and Business
Lois Hollis : Beyond Shame

Life Passion and Business

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 6, 2022 42:04


Where are you in life with the big emotional bricks like shame and guilt? Do you reflect on past events or experience these feelings in current relationships? For most of us, this stuff is part of our makeup; we are unaware of it. Having listened to my guest on the show today, I became conscious of my shame and guilt for past actions and how I have used shame in my family interactions.  My guest on the show has always been a pioneer. Lois Hollis is in her late 70s, deeply connected to God and her faith, and driven by a calling that started in childhood. Her early years were tough. With physical abuse at home, she received multiple head and neck injuries. One of these occasions led to a near-death experience where she received her calling.  At church, she was preached into guilt and shame to find her sins; the teachers at school punished her for dyslexia. Her solace was tap dancing, she loved to tap dance, and she tells me it was tap dancing that pulled her through.  It worked because she finished high school, applied to nursing school at the University of Pennsylvania, and received a scholarship. At college, Lois earned an RN and BSN nursing degree and went on to a job at the Jefferson hospital Philadelphia. Her creative approach to problems was recognised, and She got invited to join a programme that went on to develop the first Kidney Hemodialysis Units in the USA in 1966. She became a pioneer of the kidney dialysis foundation and stayed in the programme for ten years, leaving it behind to have a family, and blessed with three daughters.  Then life took a turn. Now in her 40s, she experienced headaches that became migraine that developed into a range of other life-threatening problems. It reached a point where she was told she would not live beyond her 50s.   Those childhood traumas and physical abuse had a price it was discovered there were broken bones in her neck and back. Our conversation is one of physical, mental, and spiritual recovery and a wonderfully inspiring journey.   Today Lois Hollis works with shame and guilt as an independent study. She is bringing new knowledge of these misunderstood conditions. She is a filmmaker, author of 3 books, a speaker and a coach.     Further details about this podcast along with my Guest's website and social links are all available at: https://www.lifepassionandbusiness.com/lois-hollis-beyond-shame     Life Passion & Business is dedicated to exploring what it takes to be Extraordinary, to face challenges and rejoice in the opportunities they bring, and expand our vision into new ways of thinking and living. There is a lot to gain from listening to other people's stories, however the real work begins by taking action in your own life. For full details of Events, Resources and Services visit: www.lifepassionandbusiness.com     Support For Podcasters: Running a podcast is fun, but it takes time and dedication. Whenever you enjoy a podcast please share your appreciation with comments, likes, shares and reviews. It helps other listeners find good content and supports the content creators and their guests. Another way you can support the Life Passion & Business podcast is with small donations: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lifeandpassion

The BTI Podcast

This episode explores the "information hurdle" that many survivors trip over again and again due to not ever having been taught how our brains deal with threat and trauma.  We get into the pitfalls of only ever having learned about "fight or flight," and dive into what's really going on: habitual and survival reflexive reactions aimed at keeping us alive.We also discuss how to move ourselves from a path of shame to a path of acceptance and compassion by embracing the science.Books that folks are encouraged to read for further exploration:The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog by Bruce PerryThe Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der KolkThe Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory by Stephen Porges

New Books in Psychology
Matthias Roberts, "Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms" (Fortress Press, 2020)

New Books in Psychology

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 11, 2022 43:24


We all carry sexual shame. Whether we grew up in the repressive purity culture of American Evangelical Christianity or not, we've all been taught in subtle and not-so-subtle ways that sex (outside of very specific contexts) is immoral and taboo. Psychotherapist Matthias Roberts helps readers overcome their shame around sex by overcoming three unhealthy coping mechanisms we use to manage that shame. Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms (Fortress Press, 2020) encourages each of us to determine our own definition of healthy sex, while avoiding the ditches of boundaryless sex positivity on the one hand and strict moralistic boundaries on the other. Define your sexual values on your own terms, overcome your shame, and start having great, healthy sex. Meg Gambino is an artist and activist currently working as the Director of Outreach for an addiction recovery center. Her life mission is to creatively empower others by modeling reconciliation between communities of people and people on the margins. Find her work at reconfigureart.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/psychology

New Books in LGBTQ+ Studies
Matthias Roberts, "Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms" (Fortress Press, 2020)

New Books in LGBTQ+ Studies

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 11, 2022 43:24


We all carry sexual shame. Whether we grew up in the repressive purity culture of American Evangelical Christianity or not, we've all been taught in subtle and not-so-subtle ways that sex (outside of very specific contexts) is immoral and taboo. Psychotherapist Matthias Roberts helps readers overcome their shame around sex by overcoming three unhealthy coping mechanisms we use to manage that shame. Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms (Fortress Press, 2020) encourages each of us to determine our own definition of healthy sex, while avoiding the ditches of boundaryless sex positivity on the one hand and strict moralistic boundaries on the other. Define your sexual values on your own terms, overcome your shame, and start having great, healthy sex. Meg Gambino is an artist and activist currently working as the Director of Outreach for an addiction recovery center. Her life mission is to creatively empower others by modeling reconciliation between communities of people and people on the margins. Find her work at reconfigureart.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/lgbtq-studies

New Books in Sex, Sexuality, and Sex Work
Matthias Roberts, "Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms" (Fortress Press, 2020)

New Books in Sex, Sexuality, and Sex Work

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 11, 2022 43:24


We all carry sexual shame. Whether we grew up in the repressive purity culture of American Evangelical Christianity or not, we've all been taught in subtle and not-so-subtle ways that sex (outside of very specific contexts) is immoral and taboo. Psychotherapist Matthias Roberts helps readers overcome their shame around sex by overcoming three unhealthy coping mechanisms we use to manage that shame. Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms (Fortress Press, 2020) encourages each of us to determine our own definition of healthy sex, while avoiding the ditches of boundaryless sex positivity on the one hand and strict moralistic boundaries on the other. Define your sexual values on your own terms, overcome your shame, and start having great, healthy sex. Meg Gambino is an artist and activist currently working as the Director of Outreach for an addiction recovery center. Her life mission is to creatively empower others by modeling reconciliation between communities of people and people on the margins. Find her work at reconfigureart.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

New Books in Christian Studies
Matthias Roberts, "Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms" (Fortress Press, 2020)

New Books in Christian Studies

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 11, 2022 43:24


We all carry sexual shame. Whether we grew up in the repressive purity culture of American Evangelical Christianity or not, we've all been taught in subtle and not-so-subtle ways that sex (outside of very specific contexts) is immoral and taboo. Psychotherapist Matthias Roberts helps readers overcome their shame around sex by overcoming three unhealthy coping mechanisms we use to manage that shame. Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms (Fortress Press, 2020) encourages each of us to determine our own definition of healthy sex, while avoiding the ditches of boundaryless sex positivity on the one hand and strict moralistic boundaries on the other. Define your sexual values on your own terms, overcome your shame, and start having great, healthy sex. Meg Gambino is an artist and activist currently working as the Director of Outreach for an addiction recovery center. Her life mission is to creatively empower others by modeling reconciliation between communities of people and people on the margins. Find her work at reconfigureart.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/christian-studies

New Books Network
Matthias Roberts, "Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms" (Fortress Press, 2020)

New Books Network

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 11, 2022 43:24


We all carry sexual shame. Whether we grew up in the repressive purity culture of American Evangelical Christianity or not, we've all been taught in subtle and not-so-subtle ways that sex (outside of very specific contexts) is immoral and taboo. Psychotherapist Matthias Roberts helps readers overcome their shame around sex by overcoming three unhealthy coping mechanisms we use to manage that shame. Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms (Fortress Press, 2020) encourages each of us to determine our own definition of healthy sex, while avoiding the ditches of boundaryless sex positivity on the one hand and strict moralistic boundaries on the other. Define your sexual values on your own terms, overcome your shame, and start having great, healthy sex. Meg Gambino is an artist and activist currently working as the Director of Outreach for an addiction recovery center. Her life mission is to creatively empower others by modeling reconciliation between communities of people and people on the margins. Find her work at reconfigureart.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/new-books-network

New Life Turlock
The Time Is Now... to move beyond shame and regret

New Life Turlock

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 16, 2022 32:21


The Time Is Now... to move beyond shame and regret

King Of Horror Reviews
A Place Beyond Shame (1980) Porn Movie Review (Featuring Seka)

King Of Horror Reviews

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 1, 2022 2:00


Seka discovers much to her horror that she has lost her sex drive to the point where she can no longer stand having a man even touching her. Seka seeks help from psychiatrist Michael, who uses hypnosis as a means for Seka to reconnect with her sexuality and resume satisfying her carnal desires. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/theadultsectionshow/support

Squiggly Careers
#233 Changemakers with Neil Laybourn: Mental health

Squiggly Careers

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2021 14:33


In this special episode of the Squiggly Careers x Changemakers podcast, Sarah talks to Neil Laybourn who is leading change in mental health. Neil co-founded the charity Beyond Shame, Beyond Stigma, a mental health charity supporting young people. Neil is also an ambassador for Mental Health UK. Together Sarah and Neil talk about the pivotal moment that proved to be a catalyst for Neil's passion and commitment to mental health and where his work has led him over the past few years. Neil shares what has helped him to create change, as well as what has helped him through the hard times. This podcast was created with support from LinkedIn and their changemaker campaign. If you'd like to find out more about the LinkedIn changemaker campaign visit: https://blog.linkedin.com/changemakers-ukYou can follow and connect with Neil on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/neillaybourn/ and learn more on his website: https://neillaybourn.com/about-us/about-neil/Information on Mad World Summit: https://www.madworldsummit.com/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Where Do We Go From Here
81: On Premarital Sex: What Are The Rules When There Are No Rules?

Where Do We Go From Here

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2021 72:51


We are going THERE. This is the start of a two-part series about premarital sex. Today Matthias Roberts joins us to help those of you open to considering what breaking some of your former rules might look like.  (Note: In October you'll hear part two, a discussion about celibacy.) Full show notes here Join The Jess & Devi Show community as a partner, and hear this week's episode: Jess and Devi discussing the four paradoxes of sex outlined in Beyond Shame. You'll also get movie recaps, Devi Reads Jess The News (And Jess Tells Devi What To Watch), and uncut episodes with guests. Join today for $3 USD a month. Matthias Roberts is a psychotherapist, author of Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms (Fortress/Broadleaf, 2020), and host of Queerology: A Podcast on Belief and Being. He holds two master's degrees, one in Theology & Culture and one in Counseling Psychology from The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. Matthias writes and speaks nationwide about the intersections between gender, sexuality, mental health, and theology. Connect with Matthias on Instagram and Twitter.  

Reclaiming the Garden
Let's Talk About Purity Culture

Reclaiming the Garden

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2021 82:03


Content warning: sexual abuse, evangelical bullshit, religious shame/trauma Purity culture—the sexual ethic taught by most evangelical and Catholic churches that sex is only good/holy in the context of monogamous marriage between a cisgender man and cisgender woman. It's a teaching that has led to so much sexual shame, abuse, and loss of people's agency and embodiment. In this episode, we discuss how we experienced this teaching in church (and the culture at large--in a secular context, we would call it rape culture or slut shaming), how it impacted us, and how we deconstructed and reconstructed our sexual ethics to have a healthier, less rigid view of sex. A healthy sexual ethic should be rooted in the values of consent and care for other people—that is, you're not harming yourself or others, and you make sure to get enthusiastic consent. We also discuss how purity culture creates an environment where sexual abuse can flourish and survivors are shamed into silence; it's not a bug of the system, it's a feature. We also make fun of Matthew West's stupid song “Modest is Hottest.” Our social media: @reclaimingthegarden on Insta, @RtGardenPodcast on Twitter. Our personal accounts: @thatpunchabletheaternerd, @April_TheWriter (April is on Twitter and Insta). Also, our podcast account follows a bunch of awesome folks + podcasts in the exvangelical/deconstruction world and progressive Christian world, so if you're looking for more resources, that's a great place to start! Resources mentioned in this episode (and maybe a few extra anti-purity culture resources that we forgot to say!):: A whole lot of God is Grey videos on YouTube—check out Brenda Marie Davies' new book, On Her Knees! Beyond Shame by Matthias Roberts #Churchtoo by Emily Joy Allison Pure by Linda Kay Klein Shameless by Nadia Bolz-Weber Damaged Goods by Dianna Anderson Bad Theology Kills by Kevin Garcia You Are Your Own by Jamie Lee Finch Unprotected Texts by Jennifer Wright Knust We're assuming you have no interest in looking up the shitty purity culture books we mentioned, but if you are curious for the sake of research, you can DM us.

Mastering Agility
S01 E13 SPECIAL: Hard topics: beyond shame, trust, and burnouts with Patricia Kong

Mastering Agility

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 9, 2021 52:20


Abstract:In this special episode of the ‘Mastering Agility' podcast, Patricia Kong and I have a conversation about topics that are close to both our hearts; shame, trust, and the experience of burning out. It seems that is the social standard to always say that everything is great, when asked how you're doing. That real life should be like Instagram. The truth is; it's not. Far from that. Working remotely impacts trust within teams. Shame affects your overall self-esteem. Burnouts are increasingly more common. Patricia is ruthlessly honest about her views and experience.What you'll discover in this show:-        Being open and transparent about how you feel is powerful-        Understanding what feeds you energy on the workspace can prevent burnouts-        The way others treat you might say more about them, than it says about you  Speakers:Patricia KongOrganizational Agility, Innovation, Product Ownership | Speaker * Author * Coach * InstructorPatricia Kong is co-author of "The Nexus Framework for Scaling Scrum" published by Pearson and a well-known public speaker and mentor. She is a co-developer of the Evidence-Based Management Framework for Business Agility and Nexus Framework for Scaling Scrum. Patricia helps organizations thrive in a complex world by focusing on enterprise innovation and leadership and teams. She is a people advocate and fascinated by organizational behavior and misbehaviors. She emerged through the financial services industry and has led product development, product management and marketing for several early stage companies in the US and Europe. Patricia is experienced working with 1$B+ clients focusing on business development and delivery engagements. Patricia lived in France and now lives in her hometown of Boston. Patricia is fluent in 4 languages. Contact Patricia Kong: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patricia-kong-2238232/ https://twitter.com/pmoonk88?lang=enSander Dur (host)Scrum Master, Agile Coach, trainer, and podcast host for ‘Mastering Agility”Sander Dur is business agility enthusiast, with a passion for people. Whether it's healthy product development, agile leadership, measurement or psychological safety, Sander has a drive to enable organizations to the best of their abilities. He is an avid article writer, working on a book about Scrum Mastery from the Trenches and is connecting listeners with the most influential people in the industry. https://www.linkedin.com/in/sanderdur/ https://agilitymasters.com/en https://sander-dur.medium.com/ Additional resources: Join our respective talks at Scrum Day Europe! Feel free to reach out any time.Tickets available right here:https://www.scrumdayeurope.com/  Support the show

Sermons - Mission Covenant Church
Part II: "Beyond Shame and Guilt" - Be a Bridge Builder - Ezra 9:5-8 - Courageous Christianity

Sermons - Mission Covenant Church

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2021 29:27


[6/6/2021] "Part II: 'Beyond Shame and Guilt' - Be a Bridge Builder" comes from Ezra 9:5-8. It is the third sermon of our 5-week sermon series titled "Courageous Christianity." It was preached by Pastor Darrell L. Nelson at Mission Covenant Church on June 6, 2021.

MI-15 Inspiration w/Pastor Jackie Buycks
Beyond Shame To Full Life

MI-15 Inspiration w/Pastor Jackie Buycks

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 13, 2021 17:24


Morning Inspiration --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/mi-15/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mi-15/support

Pure to Pieces
Matthias Roberts

Pure to Pieces

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 10, 2021 50:53


Matthias is a psychotherapist who talks about sexual ethics and the paradoxes we believe while moving through the world in color and not just black and white. His book, "Beyond Shame," is available now as well as his podcast, "Queerology," and masterclass with Linda Kay Klein on his website: https://matthiasroberts.com/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/morgan-mcgill/support

Collective Power Podcast
It's All One System: Moving Beyond Shame with Jeanette Vega

Collective Power Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 26, 2021 38:20


In this episode, we discuss how parents who have been targeted by the family policing system (child protective services) experience all the systems, together, allied to the detriment of their own families. By sharing her powerful-first hand experience, Jeannette Vega inspires a life beyond fear and shame, where the experiences of parents who had their children removed are honored and become the core to support system transformation.Our guest, Jeanette Vega is a proud mother of four boys and a proud parent advocate in NYC. Jeannette my own personal experience with child welfare in 1999 and it was over in 2002. Jeanette started contributing to Rise in 2008 and began as a Training Director in 2018. She is now the Assistant Director for Training and Policy at Rise. Jeanette specializes in presenting parents’ perspectives to child welfare professionals and training other parents to become advocates. Jeanette leads Rise’s work consulting with the Administration for Children’s Services and other agencies on their internal staff trainings. Jeanette graduated from the Child Welfare Organizing Project’s Parent Leadership Training in 2005 and was one of the first parent advocates to staff Child Safety Conferences in New York City. Jeannette is also the Equity and Parent Advocacy Chair for Home for Good Coalition.Resources mentioned on the show: Rise WebsiteHome for Good Coalition WebsiteOriginally aired on 02/25/2021Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/posts/35274155)

Talk Out Loud - Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Queer Intersex LGBT LGBTQ Stories
Matthias Roberts, Moving Beyond Shame and into a Healthy Sex Life

Talk Out Loud - Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Queer Intersex LGBT LGBTQ Stories

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 10, 2021 67:10


Matthias is a psychotherapist, author of the book Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms, and the host of Queerology: A Podcast on Belief and Being. He grew up in the midwest in a conservative Christian community during the purity movement of the ’80s and ’90s. Realizing that he was gay as an adolescent he set out to change his same-sex attraction. This journey actually led him to accept his own sexuality. Today he is helping LGBTQI plus people connect and live fulfilling lives by writing and speaking nationwide.  He also serves on the board of Beloved Arise, a non-profit dedicated to fighting for the lives of queer youth of faith. 

Out, What Now?!
Self-Discovery In The Coming Out Journey, Moving Beyond Shame & Self-Judgment, & Mastering Emotions w/ Kristin Bauman

Out, What Now?!

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 31, 2020 56:26


Want to learn more or connect w/ Kristin?? Here's how: Instagram: @thekristinbauman  OR   @thewildvaTikTok: @TheWildVA

Where Do We Go From Here
48: When You're Alone For The Holidays

Where Do We Go From Here

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2020 56:35


Christmas is a time for romance, or so the Hallmark movies go. What do we do when we're alone during the holidays? And what about 2020 the year when there may be no gatherings because of Covid-19? We gathered three single women together who are all in different stages of their lives, homeowners, living with parents, living on their own, to talk about what single life is like during the holidays.  For those of you who are single, we hope this helps you know that you're not alone. For those of you who are partnered, let this grow empathy in you for what you're single friends are experiencing. Full show notes here Join the Ladies Night Book Club for $9/month. We start reading Beyond Shame by Matthias Roberts on January 1!

Where Do We Go From Here
47: Finding Common Ground on Sex, family, & Faith

Where Do We Go From Here

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 9, 2020 49:04


Join our January Book Club for $9/month In January we start reading Beyond Shame by Matthias Roberts, so we remixed our last conversation with him for you today. With the wisdom and compassion of a therapist, Matthias talks to us about the building blocks of healthy sexuality. Jess & Devi round out the conversation by talking about how we can find common ground with people with whom we might disagree. Why does this common ground matter? Why do we need to address our own intellectual insecurities? Listen in to find out.  Join our conversations on Instagram & Twitter Full episode show notes here Matthias Roberts is author of Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms (Fortress, 2020) and host of Queerology: A Podcast on Belief and Being which was named as one of the “12 Best LGBTQ+ Podcasts of 2020” by O: The Oprah Magazine and the #1 Podcast to Listen to on National Coming Out Day by Radio.com. He holds two master’s degrees, one in theology and culture and one in counseling psychology from The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. In his psychotherapy practice, Matthias specializes in helping LGBTQ+ teens and adults live confident and fulfilling lives. He writes and speaks often about the intersections between gender, sexuality, mental health, and theology. Connect with Matthias on Instagram & Twitter Join our January Book Club for $9/month  

Queen City Church
Beyond Shame pt 2

Queen City Church

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2020 39:49


Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Adam Fadel teaches us how to identify our underlying emotional stress using our bodies' physical cues and dealing with our mental and emotional state using honesty to move forward.

Queen City Church
Beyond Shame

Queen City Church

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2020 37:22


Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Adam Fadel helps us identify shame as a real part of each person's journey and provides some exercises to localize and eliminate it's effects in our lives.

Hope City Church Sarasota FL
Moving Beyond Shame

Hope City Church Sarasota FL

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2020 29:59


We've all got a past. Unfortunately, not everyones past feels like it has passed. Shame can leave us stuck in isolation. We're afraid that if people were to get too close to us; if they knew the real us, they'd try to get rid of us. Well, together, we're going to find out how to get out of our heads and move beyond this lie!

The Queer Guide to Christian College
TQG2CC - Episode 10 - In Search of Community

The Queer Guide to Christian College

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2020 34:48


"It felt like my body was able to settle" | Emma chats with Matthias Roberts about homeschool, exploring sexuality at a christian college, and the importance of community. Matthias is a therapist in the Seattle area, the host of the renowned podcast Queerology, and is the author of Beyond Shame.  Make sure to follow us on social media for all your Queer Guide updates! Twitter: @queer_guide Insta: @queerguidepodcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thequeerguidepodcast Thanks for listening and make sure to subscribe! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Commoners Communion Podcast
Communion Has Always Been Your Priority (and finally moving beyond shame)

Commoners Communion Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 10, 2020 13:35


God longs for a divine closeness with you that you've not yet discovered.A closeness beyond the questions of circumstance.A closeness beyond the confusion of knowledge and understanding.A closeness beyond the woundedness and hurt that you carry.A closeness beyond what you feel or don't feel, your emotions, runaway thoughts & anxiety.A closeness beyond the busyness and chaos of the world we live in.God has created you for and longs to sit with you at the table of divine hospitality and love.Communion Has Always Been Your Priority is a prayer and contemplation from the book Prayer Vol.01. You can find it and more details about Commoners Communion at www.commonerscommunion.com.Produced by Strahan Coleman & Jonathan Class.Music by Jonathan Class.Mastered by Alex Dobbert.Episode art by Leah Surynt.Visit www.instagram.com/commoners_communion for more written prayers and contemplations and to keep in touch.

The Arise Podcast
Season 1, Episode 17: Queerology's Matthias Roberts talks about his book Beyond Shame which talks about sexual shame and coping mechanisms as well as his podcast Queerology

The Arise Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 10, 2020 35:47


In this episode, Danielle and Maggie chat with Matthias Roberts, the author of Beyond Shame and the host of the Queerology: A Podcast about Belief and Being. He holds a M.A. in Theology and Culture and a M.A. in Counseling Psychology, both from the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology where he is also an associate instructor. He is Licensed Mental Health Counselor Associate (LMHCA) in the state of Washington and specializes in LBGTQ+ trauma and faith.His new book, Beyond Shame, is written for anyone who grew up in under the purity movement—rigid rules about sexuality. US was founded on Puritanical ideals and we're just now beginning to see how harmful in the ways we've been policing bodies. How do we work with that our sexual shame and move beyond shame towards confident flouring lives and sexuality?Matthias says we first need to recognize what you're working with: acknowledge that the shame you feel. See the ways we are trying to cope with our shame.Three coping mechanisms that we use to deal/avoid with shame:Shame Full-ness: We let shame rule our lives and sexuality. We push it down and hide it, do not express it. Shame less-ness: Let our “freedom” rule over our shame, we do whatever we want. We're running away from shame, instead of dealing with it. Auto-pilot: Either we've done our shame work, or do not have as much sexual shame (grown up in sex positive environment), but when sexuality pops up we feel shame and because it's not pervasive enough we don't engage it. Once we know what coping mechanisms are at play we can ask ourselves, “If this is the shape of my shame, what can I then do to start working with it in a honest way.“Good intentions” can not be an escape from working with your shame. We can acknowledge good intentions, like when mom says “don't look” when a woman is on the tv screen. We don't want to over sexualize our kids, so there is goodness in that. But when you're body starts to have biological responses and you really want to look at this, cognitive dissonance happens. When the only messages that you've been told is “You are dirty, you are bad. God will hate you if you enjoy looking…” Thats where shame gets mixed in.There's a both and. You can say that “my parents really were doing the best that they could” and “I'm still left with debilitating shame.” Honesty is that both of these are true. “We can be messed up with good intentions."Matthias hopes that people will find themselves among the chapters. Coping mechanisms have helped us get through life. “When someone puts language to what you know to be very true in your body… it can be really uncomfortable but also feel really freeing." There's a different way to live! We no longer have to live out of our coping mechanisms, we can live out of groundedness and what our actual values are, which is much more satisfying.We need a faith that can move in these space (in our sexuality and our shame). We shouldn't have to reject our faith in order to navigate honestly.His book arose out of a personal question—he found the things he had been taught about sex and sexuality didn't seem to be working. For example, sex outside of marriage. He kept seeing people of deep faith operating in different ways. Personal longing: what are these other pope seeing that I don't and how do I apply that to what I have been taught. Who do I believe God is? Is God a God of freedom? A god who invites us to flouring within our relationships, bodies and sexuality? Is it this rigid one-size fits all model or is there space for people to have different values about their bodies and sexuality?“God is so much bigger than what I was taught. God is not in the business of making moralistic black and white rules…. I don't think that's who God is.”  God is complex and so are we!Sexuality is a hot button for people. Race too. It's a topic that's been glossed over. The complexity has not been address in either.We as a culture have an issue with embodiment. When we gloss over the complexities, it says a lot about who we are as particular bodies, particular people who live in particular environments. One size fits all is literally impossible, it does not work.There needs to be a curiosity about why we are so disembodied. How can we engage our faith and sexuality by bringing the fullness of our humanity.Are we fearfully and wonderfully made or are we not?Do I believe that about me and do I believe that about you?Matthias started his podcast Queerology three years ago with a desire to engage the intersection of being LBGTQ and a person of faith. He wanted to address the question: What does it mean to live faithfully, to live well, as LBGTQ people of faith? It was a movement beyond the question can I be gay and be a person of faith. It's conversations around queerness and “what we believe and what we're doing in the world.” He talks about how faith informs work as a queer person.March 24th launches season 4!Matthias describes what it means to be Queer: it uses “queer” to be an umbrella term. Anyone who falls outside of a hetero-world (one man one women), who identifies as “different” but doesn't want a strict label.  “I sit in a space of difference” which allows everyone their own particular story.To support Matthias work and Queerology you can go to paetron.com/matthiasrobertsWithin the state of Washington you can reach out to him for therapy work. He offers intensive weekends also. He has resources as well for being queer and a person of faith. Matthias is reading: 9 Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty Matthias is listening to:Matthias is inspired by the Story Grid by Shawn CoyneYou can connect with Matthias at www.matthiasroberts.com Tune in to his podcast Queerology: On  Belief and Being wherever you get your podcasts. 

Riverbend Podcast
Living Beyond Shame

Riverbend Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2019 36:04


Chalk-talk w/ Pastor Dave takes us from the Garden of Eden - when shame entered the world - to today, offering observations on why we experience shame, and most importantly, what to do about it.

The MoneySaver Podcast
Getting Beyond Shame and Blame to Reduce Your Debt

The MoneySaver Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 7, 2019 41:41


In episode #14 of the MoneySaver Podcast, Ellen Roseman chats with Shannon Lee Simmons, CFP and author of Living Debt Free about how she racked up over $9000 worth of debt in a fourteen month period and how guilt, shame and regret took over because of the debt.   Questions Asked: 1:29  Tell us about the experience of being in debt and what you learned from it.   5:17  And you were worried about your now husbands reaction.  But it turned out to be ok?   7:16  How long did it take for you to raid your RSP to clear up the debt?   12:05  What made you decide to write your book and how is it different from other financial books on the market?   17:52  How long have you been a financial planner?   18:15 You've actually included some case studies in your book.    19:33  I understand that your main focus is the average, everyday Canadian.  How do you make financial planning accessible to those who may not necessarily be able to afford financial planning?   21:47  What does affordable mean in terms of your services?   26:34  Do you find that online courses work well?   32:02  What are your three best tips on money, life, and managing your money and your life.   Ellen's Tips and Tricks : What you can do when you run into problems with your new or newly purchased used car!

The Rima the Jungle Girl Podcast
Moving Beyond Shame: 5 Ways to Forgive Yourself & Cultivate Self-Compassion | Rima Danielle Jomaa | Mental Clarity

The Rima the Jungle Girl Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2018 56:47


Shame is one of the most debilitating emotions we can experience. Rima, a licensed psychotherapist, takes a look at what shame really is, what causes it, and how we can move past it. On this episode, we explore: how shame differs from guilt, why shame is destructive, what shame feels like in the body, what shame leads to if not dealt with, Rima's past experiences with shame & guilt and how she's moved past them with therapy, and five ways to deal with shame, forgive yourself and cultivate self-compassion.