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3 episodes with healthy deviant
2 episodes with healthy deviant
Today's wisdom comes from The Healthy Deviant by Pilar Gerasimo. If you're loving Heroic Wisdom Daily, be sure to subscribe to the emails at heroic.us/wisdom-daily. And… Imagine unlocking access to the distilled wisdom form 700+ of the greatest books ever written. That's what Heroic Premium offers: Unlimited access to every Philosopher's Note. Daily inspiration and actionable tools to optimize your energy, work, and love. Personalized coaching features to help you stay consistent and focused Upgrade to Heroic Premium → Know someone who'd love this? Share Heroic Wisdom Daily with them, and let's grow together in 2025! Share Heroic Wisdom Daily →
Do you love yourself?I know, it's an extremely personal question. When a counselor first asked me this question I was taken aback. It's offensive and puts one in a defensive position. And who likes feeling defensive?But therapy is about healing and I answered as best I could. Again, and again. I'm fairly certain every counselor, therapist, and coach I have worked with has asked me some form of this question.When my new therapist heard my answer to this question she heard something the others did not. When I described my inner and outer worlds and my troubles blending the two, she suggested I might explore some autism self-diagnostic quizzes. Long story short, I tested very likely to be autistic. So here we are.What fascinates me is what I have learned from the neurodiversity community in just a few months. Whereas therapy made me feel like something was wrong with me, neurodiversity suggests that there is not. Being different isn't wrong.In therapy, I was taught that many of my beliefs were incorrect and could be changed. The problem was me, the solution was easy, and it was simply a matter of me implementing the solution. Therapy suggests my feelings are irrational and that I need to change. Therapy made me feel broken and prescribed various quick fixes. Most of these solutions came in the form of simply changing the way I think — the way my brain works. However, after over a decade in various therapies with nearly a dozen different practitioners, I was unable.My beliefs . . . my brain . . . my neurology proved impossible to alter.My inability to fix myself led me down a shame spiral.I don't blame therapy or the therapists. I learned a lot intellectually. I came to understand the popular psychotherapeutic approaches and concepts. I also learned a lot about my childhood and my trauma. I did a lot of healing over the years. Yet, the same problems plagued me. When I considered that there was nothing wrong with me things started to loosen up. Therapy reinforced my feelings of being different but left me feeling wrong. Thinking I might be neurodivergent made me feel okay about being different. And this lines up with my understanding of evolution and ecology. Of course, we are different. That's the point.Being autistic suggests that these feelings are rational and there is no need to change. My shame is unfounded. There is nothing wrong with my brain. The solution is to recognize how and why the world seeks conformity and that this is irrational — not me. Autism is teaching me that I don't need to change myself, but that there are things I can do to help integrate my inner and outer worlds. Though prejudice and stigma try to hide neurodiversity in the shadows, it is time we figure out how to be present. Expressing our diversity is imperative to solve our problems. We are not all alike. Trying to alter this natural law is killing us. My writing, podcasts, and videos are a small part of making this change. Together we can find the courage to change the world.Help us stay connected by subscribing to my Medium page, podcast, YouTube channel, or webpage. I'm currently reading “The Healthy Deviant. A Rule-Breakers Guide to Being Healthy in an Unhealthy World” by Pilar Gerasimo. You can find her work and the book here.If you are enjoying this content, please tell your friends.
In episode 195 host Galit Friedlander and Pilar Gerasimo (founding editor-in-chief of Experience Life magazine and author of the Healthy Deviant: A Rule Breaker's Guide to Being Healthy in an Unhealthy World), discuss the 3 simple game-changers to having more healthy and productive days, navigating our well-being when there are major global crisis' at play, and understanding your ultradian rhythms for peak performance. Follow Galit: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/gogalit Website - https://www.gogalit.com/ Fit From Home - https://galit-s-school-0397.thinkific.com/courses/fit-from-home You can connect with Pilar on Instagram and through her website. Listen to DanceSpeak on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Google Podcasts.
'Areté: Activate Your Heroic Potential' = an instant Amazon bestseller and is now officially available! Place your order today and let's do this, heroes! https://heroic.us/arete Hi, this is Brian. Welcome back to another Areté +1°. We're having fun looking at some of my favorite micro-chapters. There are 451 of them in my new book, 'Areté: Activate Your Heroic Potential'. Here's another one of my favorites…
Thanks to decades of advances in awareness, research, and resources, humans are living longer. Yet large amounts of the population are consistently facing chronic health issues, diseases, and health disparities, These ongoing challenges are common and costly, and many are preventable.Many factors are behind our current levels of health, including the social narratives we have created around lifestyles that have become normal.'These questionable lifestyles are undermining our well-being and imperiling the future of humanity. Welcome to Episode Twenty-Eight of The Nature of Wellness Podcast. On this episode, we sat down with award-winning health journalist, founding editor of Experience Life magazine (which reaches millions with each issue), and co-host of the top-rated The Living Experiment podcast Pilar Gerasimo. Pilar served as senior vice president of Healthy Living for Life Time Fitness, lead health editor at The Huffington Post, and chief creative officer for the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. Her incredible work has earned attention from the New York Times, Psychology Today, Mindful, Blue Zones, Thrive Global, and many other leading media outlets. Pilar's work has also been embraced by the World Economic Forum, the International Monetary Fund, and a variety of healthcare organizations.Join us as we talk to Pilar about her personal wellness journey, the power of standing out from unhealthy social norms, the pitfalls of comparison, and how to take the first steps toward building your own healthy identity. Pilar discusses the power of awareness, the lessons that we should re-discover from our ancestors, the importance of including those we love in our journeys, how small modifications lead to big breakthroughs in personal health, and the power of community. We left this conversation ready to become healthy deviants, and break from the 'norm.' Please subscribe, rate, and leave a review anywhere you listen to this podcast. It will help us extend the reach of these powerful messages. We appreciate you all. Be Well-NOW Pilar Gerasimo Instagram: @pilargerasimoPilar's Podcast www.livingexperiment.com.The Healthy Deviant Website: https://www.thehealthydeviant.com A very generous FREE offer for NOW listeners: 5-Day Un-Challenge sales page: https://www.thehealthydeviant.com/5day-unchallenge enter code NOW5DAY at checkout to get the course for free. * The Nature of Wellness Podcast is produced by the remarkable Shawn Bell.** The NOW theme song was written, performed, produced, and graciously provided by the incredibly talented Phil and Niall Monahan.
Pilar Gerasimo is an award-winning health journalist, pioneering social explorer, and author of The Healthy Deviant: A Rule-Breaker's Guide to Being Healthy in an Unhealthy World (North Atlantic Books, 2020). Best known for her visionary work as founding editor of Experience Life magazine, which today reaches more than three million people with each issue, Pilar has also served as top health editor for The Huffington Post, and as visiting faculty for the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. Today, Pilar co-hosts a top-rated podcast called The Living Experiment and teaches online courses through her digital learning platform, Healthy Deviant Academy. She guest lectures at universities, leads workshops at top retreat centers, and consults for organizations committing to transforming health and happiness at work and around the globe. Her work has been featured by the World Economic Forum, MIT, International Monetary Fund, and a variety of other thought-leading platforms. When she's not traveling, Pilar hangs out on her family's organic, communal farm in Wisconsin with her pit bull pal, Sally Sue. Learn more at www.healthydeviant.com (where you can also take the “Are You a Healthy Deviant?” quiz). Join Pilar's private Healthy Deviant Facebook Group or follow her on Instagram at @pilargerasimo.
“Asking overwhelmed, depleted, exhausted, burned out, overstimulated people to do anything more than a tiny step at a time is just adding fuel to the fire and setting people up for failure." - Pilar Gerasimo If you believe normal is overrated in regard to personalized care, then you're going to love today's guest, Pilar Gerasimo! In today's episode we talk about…. The hidden impact of chronic depletion and sensory overload on our overall well-being. Embracing healthy deviance as a powerful tool to regain control of our health and happiness. Unveiling the nonconformist competencies of healthy deviance: Amplified awareness, preemptive repair, and continuous growth. Understanding the importance of reclaiming our mojo and addressing underlying factors before embarking on significant changes. In this transformative episode, together, we explore the challenges we face in navigating an unhealthy default reality and unravel Pilar's groundbreaking approach to reclaiming health and happiness. Get ready for an eye-opening conversation that will leave you inspired and equipped with practical strategies for breaking free from societal norms and living a healthier, more fulfilling life. Pilar is the author of The Healthy Deviant: A Rule Breaker's Guide to Being Healthy in an Unhealthy World, founding editor of Experience Life magazine, and co-host of The Living Experiment podcast. Connect with Pilar: Follow Pilar on Instagram @pilargerasimo. Follow Pilar on Facebook @PilarGerasimo and join her group for freebies. Take her “Are You a Healthy Deviant?” quiz. If you loved this episode... Circle back to Episode 129: How to Reverse & Optimize Your Health with Tracy Duhs. Apple | Spotify Revisit Episode 126: How to Reclaim Your Time and Live a Fulfilled Life with Melissa Ambrossini and Nick Broadhurst. Apple | Spotify Explore Episode 111: Red Light Therapy, Detoxing, and Wellness Biohacking with Lauren Berlingeri. Apple | Spotify Question: How can you embrace your inner rule breaker to challenge societal norms and create a life that aligns with your true health and happiness? We love your reviews! Please be sure to leave a 5-star review. When you screenshot it and send it to support@globalgrit.co you will get your FREE gift!
Do you refuse to go along with the status quo when it comes to your health? You just might be a healthy deviant! A healthy deviant is someone who defies societal norms in order to achieve a higher-than-average level of vitality and health. In this episode, you'll learn why it's beneficial and essential to be a healthy deviant and some small things you can do right away to prioritize your health. About Pilar GerasimoPilar Gerasimo is an award-winning health journalist and author of The Healthy Deviant: A Rule Breaker's Guide to Being Healthy in an Unhealthy World. Widely hailed for her work as founding editor of Experience Life magazine, which today reaches more than three million people with each issue, Pilar has also served as top health editor for Huffington Post, and as visiting faculty for the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. Today, Pilar co-hosts a top-rated podcast called The Living Experiment, guest lectures at universities and world-renowned retreat centers, and consults for organizations committing to transforming health and happiness at work and around the globe. Key TakeawaysThe majority of people in our society are not healthy or happy You are going to need to go against the grain of the “unhealthy default reality” to make the healthier choice for yourself The “unhealthy default reality” blames you for your problems A lot of the health solutions offered to you are quick fixes, don't work at all, or are unsustainable from a depleted place Ultradian rhythms are the changing rhythms of our bodies throughout the day When you respond to your ultradian rhythms your body has a chance to recalibrate and rehabilitate Healthy deviance is also healthy parenting Adding a morning minutes practice can change the course of your day Relevant Resources MentionedTake https://www.thehealthydeviant.com/quiz (the Healthy Deviant Quiz) Learn more about https://www.thehealthydeviant.com/ (Pilar Gerasimo) Check out Pilar's podcast https://livingexperiment.com/ (The Living Experiment) How to usehttps://drdianahill.com/want-to-move-your-body-more-psychological-flexibility-can-help/ ( psychological flexibility )to move more https://www.npr.org/2022/03/31/1089865057/a-secretive-la-group-has-a-new-mission-paint-untouched-crosswalks (The Crosswalk Vigilantes) https://drdianahill.com/extras/ (Download Your Daily Practice for Episode 38 Here) https://drdianahill.com/reset-and-restore-retreat/ (Reserve your spot with Diana for Retreat in Costa Rica in 2023)! Sign up for https://drdianahill.com/striving-thriving-summit-2022/ (From Striving to Thriving 2.0)! https://drdianahill.com/events/ (Join Diana at an upcoming event) Thank you for listening to Your Life in Process! If you have any questions or feedback you can contact me by email at podcast@yourlifeinprocess.com, leave me an audio message at (805) 457-2776, or message me on Instagram @drdianahill and remember when you become psychologically flexible, you become free. Thank you to my team Craig, Angela Stubbs, and Ashley Hiatt, and to our sponsor InsightLA Meditation for making this podcast possible. Thank you to Benjamin Gould of https://bellandbranch.com/ (Bell & Branch) for your beautiful music. Episode Segments[00:04] Are You A Healthy Deviant? [01:07] About Pilar Gerasimo [04:22] Diana's Event: Costa Rica Retreat [07:03] Statistics On The Unhealthy Norm [09:10] The Unhealthy Deviant Reality [11:44] Common Problems People Feel In the Unhealthy Default Reality [15:29] The Rose In the Vineyard [18:17] Pilar's Hero's Journey to Healthy Deviance [24:35] Diana's Upcoming Events [25:18] It's Not Our Fault [26:49] Ultradian Rhythms [29:47] Tracking Your Ultradian Rhythms [36:46] How Do Preemptive Repair [37:44] A Repertoire of Health Across Contexts [44:20] How to Be a Healthy Deviant Parent [49:21] Morning Minutes Practice [53:05] Healthy Deviant Resources [55:07] Diana's Summary...
From the dual perspectives of Certified Counselor/Life Coach, Kim Anderson, & Functional Nutrition/Fitness Trainer, Lori Zabka, your hosts help women identify and break up with the patterns that have held them back so they can reach their fullest potential, ... "because life is too short to stay stuck" What kind of society makes being healthy and happy so difficult that only a single-digit percentage of the population can hope to pull it off? The answer: a sick society. And what does it mean to be one of the few people to buck societal norms and beat those unhealthy odds? According to Pilar Gerasimo, it means becoming a deviant….a “Healthy Deviant,” to be exact, and in this interview, Pilar lays out exactly how become a rule breaker by acknowledging a disturbing truth: if you aren't breaking the rules, you're probably breaking yourself.” If you often find yourself overwhelmed, burned out, depleted, or depressed; if you wonder what's wrong with you, the answer is: nothing! You are simply living in a society where illness, anxiety, and depletion are the prevailing norms. Want to learn a better way? Want to become a “Healthy Deviant?” Take a listen to this amazing conversation with award-winning health journalist, Pilar Gerasimo. To learn more about your hosts visit: Kim Anderson at kimanderson.life or Lori Zabka at lifebyloriz.com
Try this when your energy slumps mid-morning or mid-afternoon... Energy dips can feel like the WORST - and most of us power through them, only to crash and burn at 5p, leaving nothing left for our alone time, family time or ourselves. Why DOES our energy dip, anyhow?! Your body is on timers- one being the circadian rhythm. You've probably heard of this one. It's synced with your sleep/wake time and when you eat each day (consistency in these two areas is super helpful to your body). The second, and less known body timer is your Ultradian Rhythm. These are in 90ish-minute energy waves happening all day. This is why you have a mid-morning and mid-afternoon slump! Your body is signaling it needs to dump out some accumulated stress but what you typically do is caffeinated it or sugar spike it. You try to power through. You try to ignore it (hint: that doesn't work). Let's try something different today! When this TOTALLY NATURAL slump hits- recognize it as a whisper from your body to dump some stress out. Don't grab a Starbucks or sugary snack… instead try one of these 3 ideas: Take a potty break, while you do, take deep breaths and feel your energy settle Drink some water, then drink some more- slowly and mindfully Get some movement in- desk stretches, a walk, stairs. Even better if it's outside! These are totally predictable energy dips- and it doesn't take long to dump out some of the accumulated stress, press reset and get back to your day. Today, just notice them. See how your energy naturally rises and dips! Take note of what you want to do to soothe these dips - caffeine? A snack? Power through and burn out? Tomorrow try an ultradian break, just one. See how it feels. The ideas above are just starting points! You want to intentionally take a break, dump some stress out, breathe. It doesn't need to take long - just a few minutes helps! Reply back before you leave work with how you do - I can't wait to hear what differences you notice! Your Life Coach, Jen PS: If you missed yesterday's Your Life Coach Jen - The Podcast episode on how to always be working toward your goal, that may be a great way to spend your next Ultradian Rhythm break. You can tune in, by clicking here : https://anchor.fm/yourlifecoachjen PPS: I originally heard of URBs from the amazing Pilar Gerasimo - her book The Healthy Deviant goes into detail about this with even more beautiful insights and tips. Grab it today!
My guest Pilar Gerasimo helps answer this question not through simplistic dieting or exercise tips but by asking us to step into a greater sense of who we are. In her work The Healthy Deviant, she outlines a very practical method for uncovering and taking action on what truly gives you life. https://pilargerasimo.com/
The definition of health is tricky but hopefully can agree on many elements of what it looks and feels like. On that note, in this episode, Katy and Pilar talk about why health is becoming more and more elusive and why our society is becoming synonymous with behaviors that lead to those deviations away from our physiological or biological needs that result in disease. Find all of Katy's audiobooks at nutritiousmovement.com/audiobooks
We all want to be healthy… but it is a difficult feat in a society that is constantly enticing us to be unhealthy. Fast food, screens, long work hours, and lack of connection means that in order to be healthy, we actually need to take a radical step in the other direction. You might say that we need to be a healthy deviant! Today's guest, Pilar Gerasimo, is a founding editor of Experience Life magazine, co-host of the top rated The Living Experiment podcast, and author of The Healthy Deviant: A Rule Breaker's Guide to Being Healthy in an Unhealthy World. We are excited to bring you an enlightening conversation all about what it means to be a health deviant. Stay tuned to learn what steps you can take to build a life that supports your health. Timestamps: 0:00 - Introduction 3:17 - Pilar's story 9:29 - Why willpower fails 15:29 - Why our genetics and environment don't match 20:25 - Multitasking doesn't work 27:08 - What does it mean to be a healthy deviant 33:00 - How society might need to change for our health 38:11 - Ultradian rhythms 43:50 - Being a healthy deviant in the healthcare system 49:57 - What Pilar does every day to cultivate joy 51:06 - Getting in touch with Pilar
Pilar Gerasimo joins VIP's Casey Hasten in a discussion about how to change the way we think about and approach health improvement. Pilar is the Author of The Healthy Deviant, award-winning health journalist, and former CCO and Editor. Pilar's goal is to be healthy in an unhealthy world and to guide others to be that way, too.About The Guest:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pilargerasimo/Website: https://pilargerasimo.com/About The We Are VIP Podcast:This podcast is brought to you by VIP to add value to your job or candidate search. Each week, we'll bring you helpful tips and insights from leading professionals to help candidates land their dream jobs and help employers find better talent.Hosted by:Casey Hasten, Director of Recruiting at VIPAbout VIP:We utilize a holistic approach to support your strategic initiatives in accounting and finance. From recruiting and strategic staffing, to project management consulting, our service model offers a comprehensive solution that allows for flexibility as you navigate transformation and growth within your organization.Connect:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/270216/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WeAreVIPCompanyJob Openings and Services: https://wearevip.com
In this episode, Pilar Gerasimo, an award-winning health journalist, pioneering social explorer, and author, is here to educate and enlighten us all on how to master the art of being healthy in an unhealthy world. Founding editor of Experiencing Life Magazine of LifeTime and co-host of a top-rated podcast called The Living Experiment, Pilar shares with us so many ways we can enrich our lives to actually make personal changes in an achievable and sustainable way. Her information is digestible and relatable, especially in the world now, where people are reaching a point where their bodies and their minds are both breaking down - one she has coined “pissed off body syndrome”. Consider her approach a “Healthy Deviant” from the norm to live the best you and view in your mirror.
I love today's conversation with Pilar Gerasimo, author of the book “The Healthy Deviant”, and I'm so excited to share it with you! Pilar is on a quest to heal and create healthy people throughout the world, and in today's discussion we delve into her manifestos to reclaim health autonomy. Click here to download the […] The post #290: Mapping Healthy Deviance with Pilar Gerasimo appeared first on Functional Nutrition Alliance.
We live in a society where the majority of people are stressed and anxious, becoming the prevailing normality of our world. Most people are unhappy and unhealthy which leaves the happy and healthy people as the minority in this category. Do you have the courage to deviate from the norm and be a little different or unique? Sometimes the fear of this deviation will cause us to stay in the "safe" and "normal" crowd because its just the normal thing to do right? Brings up the idea...do we actually want to solve our stress and anxiety and be that deviation or do we want to stay comfortable with being stressed and anxious?
If you're sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, you're not alone. In fact, less than 1% of American adults are truly healthy, happy, and on track to stay that way. ONE percent. Yikes. So, how does one live healthy in an unhealthy world that is riddled with chronic illness, pharmaceutical drug use and struggling to be physically and emotionally fit and balanced? Pilar Gerasimo may have a solution. She's spent 20 years as a wellness journalist, is the founding editor of the “Experience Life” magazine and considers herself a healthy deviant. So much so that she wrote the book, "Healthy Deviant". On this episode of HIListically Speaking, Pilar shares her own wellness journey with listeners, and what it means to be a Healthy Deviant living outside the norm. Why being part of what she calls, the Unhealthy Default Reality, is keeping people sick. And how it's up to each and every one of us to be our own health advocate for change with community being the key. Expect a lot of laughs, a history lesson filled word play and some empowering educational tools to live well. Plus, a discussion on how journalism has changed from two gals who have been in the trenches for decades. It's time to get a little deviant and shake things up. Pilar is also giving you a double dose of healthy. Take the Healthy Deviant Quiz to find out where you fall on the scale. And check out a preview of her book. You can also connect with her on Instagram. And while you're at it, how about putting some powerful tools in your own hands and be kind to your mind. Set up a Complimentary Discovery Call with Hilary to learn more about how Havening Techniques heals and can rapidly change the landscape of your brain. And if you're interested in learning more about integrative health and nutrition and how to be an advocated for your own health, check out a sample class at IIN. It's on the house. If you're interested in sharing your transformational story on The HIListically Speaking Podcast with Hilary Russo, fill out the guest form. Want early access to podcast guests, giveaways, speaking engagements and events with Hilary? Plus, her powerful tips and tools to help you "be kind to your mind" in your every day? Join the Thrive Hive. It's FREE! HIListically Speaking with Hilary Russo Created/Hosted by Hilary Russo Produced by Alan Seales Music by Lipbone Redding Recorded on SquadCast Connect with Hilary Instagram: @HilaryRusso Twitter: @HilaryRusso Facebook: @HilaryRusso Website: www.hilaryrusso.com Connect with Alan Seales Listen to more music by Lipbone Redding
This week's episode of 'Advancing ALL Women' with Sarah Alter is 'Conscious Language!' Our guests this week are Pilar Gerasimo, Author of The Healthy Deviant and award-winning journalist; and Michelle Maldonado, Founder and CEO of Lucenscia, a firm dedicated to human flourishing and mindful business transformation. Our guests will discuss the power of conscious, concise communication, the pitfalls female leaders should avoid, and key tips and tricks to refine workplace communication.
This week's episode of 'Advancing ALL Women' with Sarah Alter is 'Conscious Language!' Our guests this week are Pilar Gerasimo, Author of The Healthy Deviant and award-winning journalist; and Michelle Maldonado, Founder and CEO of Lucenscia, a firm dedicated to human flourishing and mindful business transformation. Our guests will discuss the power of conscious, concise communication, the pitfalls female leaders should avoid, and key tips and tricks to refine workplace communication.
Pilar Gerasimo, health journalist and author of the Healthy Deviant shows us the way to be healthy despite anything that is happening around us. We'll also talk about the overlap between functional medicine and healthy deviance and how functional medicine can help for body/mind support. If you have ever thought that because of your circumstances […]
Adventures Across the 5 Mountains of Human Development: Physical | Mental | Emotional | Intuitional | Spiritual "Less than 3% of U.S. adults are healthy, happy, and on track to stay that way." Today's guest says trying to be healthy and happy is like playing a game that has been rigged from the start. So, how are we ever expected to be healthy in an unhealthy world? In today's episode, we speak to Pilar Gerasimo, an award-winning health journalist, pioneering social explorer, and author of a new book, The Healthy Deviant: A Rule-Breaker's Guide to Being Healthy in an Unhealthy World (North Atlantic Books, 2020). Best known for her work as founding editor of Experience Life magazine, Pilar has also served as top health editor for The Huffington Post, and as visiting faculty for the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. Pilar co-hosts a top-rated podcast called The Living Experiment and teaches online courses through her digital learning platform, Healthy Deviant Academy. Break the rules of normal and shift your relationship with the world around you. Connect & Learn : http://www.pilargerasimo.com/ http://www.healthydeviant.com/ (Take the "Are you a Healthy Deviant" Quiz) Pilar on Facebook at @pilargerasimo On Instagram at @pgerasimo
In today’s episode, I am super excited to announce that I’m hanging out with the brilliant Pilar Gerasimo! Pilar is an award winning health journalist and the author of The Healthy Deviant: A Rule Breaker's Guide to Being Healthy in an Unhealthy World. "If you choose to be a healthy, happy person in a context of a world where most people are not, you’re going to have to deviate from a bunch of social norms and conventions." - Pilar Gerasimo Learn more about this episode at terricole.com/310
Welcome to “The Emergent Human where we explore Optimizing Health, Embodied Spirituality and Post Conventional Living. Ostrolenk speaks with Pilar Geroseemo, an award-winning health journalist, pioneering social explorer, and author of a new book, “The Healthy Deviant: A Rule-Breaker's Guide to Being Healthy in an Unhealthy World.” She is best known for her work as founding editor of Experience Life magazine, and also served as top health editor for The Huffington Post and as visiting faculty for the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. Today, Pilar co-hosts a top-rated podcast called The Living Experiment and teaches online courses through her digital learning platform, Healthy Deviant Academy. Pilar discusses societal expectations and how her own experience with such at a younger age drove her to be less happy and less healthy. Gaining inspiration to change her experience, she learned the importance of experimenting with one's comfort zone, developing practices that keep one aware, and the value of taking a break. Pilar notes that it is statistically more likely that a person is unhealthy than it is that they are healthy. She expresses hope for the possibility of creating a better way of living on this planet. To learn more about Pilar's book and the courses that she teaches, visit her website www.healthydeviant.com. You can get a free book preview and take the "Are You a Healthy Deviant?" quiz there. In other short updates: Shout out to my friend Dr Melissa Peterson author of “Codes of Longevity: Learn from 20+ of Today's Leading Health Experts How to Unlock Your Potential to Look, Feel and Live Life Optimized to 120 and Beyond https://codesoflongevity.com/ for having me speak at her Longevity conference on my transpartisan work. Today's show is brought to you by Cosper Scafidi, an amazing body worker in the Northern Virginia area who has integrated different somatic practices into his work. To learn more about his work, visit his website: www.cosperscafidi.com/. We will close out today's show with one of my favorite singer/song writers Stuart Davis and his song “Good Wyrd” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZhRgUdHurA&list=PLATF5eWSVEAN4_DXjORbLYaiy34H98HIv&index=2
REPLAY EPISODE! This episode aired on NEW YEAR'S DAY 2020---what a difference a year makes. Whew. Pilar Gerasimo is an award-winning health journalist, pioneering social explorer, and author of the forthcoming book, The Healthy Deviant: A Rule-Breaker’s Guide to Being Healthy in an Unhealthy World (North Atlantic Books, January 2020). Best known for her work as founding editor of Experience Life magazine, which today reaches more than 3 million people globally, Pilar has also served as Chief Creative Officer for the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and as top health editor for The Huffington Post. Today, Pilar co-hosts a top-rated weekly podcast called The Living Experiment (with Whole30 co-founder Dallas Hartwig) and serves as a strategic advisor to Brian Johnson’s Optimize Enterprises. She speaks at universities, leads workshops at top retreat centers and consults for organizations committing to transforming health and happiness around the globe. When she’s not travelling, Pilar hides out on an organic, communal family farm in Wisconsin her goofy pit bull pal, Calvin. Connect with Pilar: New Book & Website: www.healthydeviant.com Twitter: @pgerasimo Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/pilargerasimo Instagram: @pgerasimo www.pilargerasimo.com ====================== Request to Join the FREE Meredith Atwood Community & Coaching https://meredith-atwood-coaching.mn.co/ ====================== Buy Meredith’s Books: The Year of No Nonsense https://amzn.to/3su5qWp Triathlon for the Every Woman: https://amzn.to/3nOkjiH ======================= Follow Meredith Atwood & The Podcast on Social: Web: http://www.swimbikemom.com Instagram: http://instagram.com/swimbikemom ======================= Want to Connect? Email: same24hourspodcast@gmail.com ======================= Credits: Host & Production: Meredith Atwood Copyright 2017-2020, 2021 All Rights Reserved, Meredith Atwood, LLC
We are thrilled to welcome today's guest, Pilar Gerasimo. Pilar Gerasimo is an award-winning health journalist, pioneering social explorer, and author of a new book, The Healthy Deviant: A Rule-Breaker's Guide to Being Healthy in an Unhealthy World (North Atlantic Books, 2020). Best known for her work as the founding editor of Experience Life magazine, which today reaches more than three million people with each issue, Pilar has also served as Chief Creative Officer for the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and as top health editor for The Huffington Post. Today, Pilar co-hosts a top-rated podcast called The Living Experiment. She speaks at universities, leads workshops at top retreat centers, and consults for organizations committing to transforming health and happiness around the globe. When she's not travelling, Pilar hides out on an organic, communal family farm in Wisconsin with her goofy pitbull pal, Calvin. During our conversation we delve into what a healthy deviant is and what it means to be one and continually break social norms in order to be healthy. We also discuss our relationship with our inner critic and how to foster a non-judgemental life and experiment with making different choices. We absolutely loved this conversation and we wanted to keep it going for hours. We can't wait for you to listen! You can learn more about Pilar Gerasimo at: www.healthydeviant.comwww.pilargerasimo.com IG: @pgerasimo FB: https://www.facebook.com/PilarGerasimo The Living Experiment Podcast episodes referred to in the show: Episode on Trauma Episode on Morning Episode on Pause Episode on Sleep Special offer for our listeners: Take the Healthy Deviant Quiz - www.healthydeviant.com/quiz Free book preview - www.healthydeviant.com/preview Thanks to our amazing sponsors:This episode is brought to you by Appetite for Change, a non-profit in North Minneapolis that uses food as a tool for health, wealth, and social change. To learn more about AFC, listen to Episode 31 of our podcast with one of their co-founders Michelle Horovitz, as well as our bonus episodes with co-founder Princess Haley. For more information or to donate head on over to https://appetiteforchangemn.org/impact/ or visit them on instagram and facebook @appetiteforchange. This episode is also brought to you by Chisel Architecture, a unique firm in the Twin Cities whose trademarked design approach, called Pattern of Life, is a game changer for homeowners. Co-Founders, Sara and Marcy focus on functionality for your home environment and believe that your overall well-being should be in the mix. Chisel architecture has a special offer for our listeners. Simply email hello@chiselarch.com and mention this podcast to receive $50 off your two-hour consultation. Consultations must be booked by June 30th to take advantage of this offer. ------------------------------------------------------------ SPECIAL OFFER FOR OUR LISTENERS: 1. 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In keeping with the concepts of keeping mind, body and spirit in order, John & Heyang welcome best-selling author and nationally known expert on living life to the fullest, Pilar Gerasimo to the show. It's an incredible conversation around maintaining balance, finding our best selves in the worst of times and the one thing you can do (that only takes three minutes) to start your day for the better.
Pilar Gerasimo is an award-winning health journalist, pioneering social explorer, and author of a new book, The Healthy Deviant: A Rule-Breaker's Guide to Being Healthy in an Unhealthy World (North Atlantic Books, 2020). Best known for her work as founding editor of Experience Life magazine, which today reaches more than three million people with each issue, Pilar has also served as Chief Creative Officer for the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and as top health editor for The Huffington Post. Today, Pilar co-hosts a top-rated weekly podcast called The Living Experiment. She speaks at universities, leads workshops at top retreat centers, and consults for organizations committing to transforming health and happiness around the globe. When she's not traveling, Pilar hides out on an organic, communal family farm in Wisconsin with her goofy pit bull pal, Calvin. Send Pilar some love on social media and sign up for the 14 day Healthy Deviant challenge! This is game-changing! Links Pilar's podcast: The Living Experiment Pilar's website: PilarGerasimo.com Pilar on Facebook Health Deviant on Instagram Pilar on Instagram Pilar on Twitter
Brief Summary & Bio:Today is such an amazing interview with Dallas Hartwig to talk about the concepts in his new book called “The 4 Season Solution: The Groundbreaking New Plan for Feeling Better, Living Well, and Powering Down our Always-On Lives”. We talk about small yet significant lifestyle changes we can make, in accordance with the seasons and our biological needs; and we get into some conversation about the typical Mid-Life crisis, as well as how this quarantine time we're being forced into living is perfectly matched up with the contents of this book. Dallas Hartwig is the cofounder of the Whole30 and Whole9 programs, the coauthor of New York Times bestsellers “It Starts With Food” and “The Whole30”. Dallas is a functional medicine practitioner and physical therapist, he's also the cohost of The Living Experiment podcast. He has been featured in media such as Today, Good Morning America, The Dr. Oz Show, The View, and more. To learn more, visit DallasHartwig.com. Disclaimer: Consult with your doctor or functional medicine practitioner before trying any of the remedies or dietary interventions mentioned in this episode. This information and recording is for informational and educational purposes only.For professional Inquiries contact host Marisa Moon, marisa@ marisamoon.com>> Toxin-Free Low-Sugar Natural Wine?? Grab your free bottle of Dry Farm Wines with your first order here: www.dryfarmwines.com/fowpodcast SHOW NOTES:RESOURCES mentioned in this episode:- Book: The 4 Seasons Solution (Amazon Affiliate Link): https://amzn.to/2WHlA19 - Dallas' Website & Newsletter http://dallashartwig.com/Dallas on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dallashartwig/ Dallas' Podcast: The Living Experiment: http://livingexperiment.com Pilar's book “The Healthy Deviant”: https://amzn.to/2y1codJ Marisa's website: marisamoon.com LIKE our podcast on Facebook: facebook.com/FoundationofWellnessPodcast Follow us on Instagram: @foundationofwellness_podcast, https://www.instagram.com/foundationofwellness_podcast JOIN Marisa's Facebook Group “The Foundation of Wellness”: facebook.com/groups/FOWpodcast Follow Marisa's Instagram: @marisa_moon_ , instagram.com/marisa_moon_ Points of Discussion:- The timelines of this book during the pandemic- Thinking about 4 Seasons on multi-year, multi-decade timeline of implementation - Dallas talks human history that led us to the disconnected life we are typically living now- What is oscillation, what does it matter to us - 2 Primary Phases - Expansion and Contraction, Summer and Fall - without the necessary balance, we feel stress, unease, and disease - comparing “Chronic Summer Living” with over drafting your bank account - social isolation from the coronavirus pandemic is almost forcing us into “Fall” - you don't have to do this all at once - we're living as if it's summertime all year round- Sleep variations in Summer and shorter days/nights - circadian rhythms - lighting plays a big role in our health and living experience - blue light - chronic lack of sleep is a serious thing to consider- Marisa shares her chronic fatigue story- Dallas explains it's not just sleep we need to fix, it's our dark/light exposure - sleep is a profoundly active restorative state - time spent in darkness is an important part of this balance- Connection between “Chronic Summer Living' and chronic disease- Dallas shares his upbringing living “off the grid” as a child- When we're more connected with nature and our surroundings, we're more at peace (and step away from the speed of modern life)- We feel like we have to justify ourselves when we're not staying busy- What does the typical “Midlife Crisis” represent? - a mismatch between the choices we've made in our lives and the deep yearnings within us - we don't feel at ease and have an urge to break free - the problem is we're expected to keep up the pace of our 30's into our early retirement age - we don't have to take our foot off the gas and slam the break, just gradually coast into change - we should think about what our legacy is, who we care about, how we contribute to a better world and community (in our 40's and 50's) - midlife crisis is like our mind and soul telling us “we're in the wrong place” and have to get out of the constraints- The modern world we live in has all the constraints built into it - book: The Healthy Deviant - we need to be willing to deviate from societal norms - financial constraints of eating healthy usually ends up being more of an issue of prioritizing your health- Marisa shares a story about holiday stress- The 4 Seasons Solution is a new lense to build your entire life through, and it's unique to you- The more you do something, the more you want to do it. It can be good or bad behavior you crave based on your current habits- Dallas shares an ancestral point of view that emphasizes the lack of external cues and our personal responsibility to shift into balance- Dallas' ETRE recommendations (Early Time-Restricted Eating, AKA Circadian Fasting or Intermittent Fasting)Intro/Exit Music - "Ukulele Whistle" by Scott Holmes
Today on the show we have the self described “pragmatic, scientific explorer” and cofounder of Whole30, Dallas Hartwig. Dallas speaks to us today (on video!) about the developmental process of the Whole30 lifestyle and how through the exploration of self, and identifying the places in your own life that keep you from feeling good, you can grow to new heights in both life and business. What You Will Learn On This Episode The Accidental Creation of Whole30 Chocolate Indulgence as a Metaphor For Life More Social Less Media Examining The Things In Your Life That Don't Make You Feel “good” Links and Resources Mentioned in this Episode Website Facebook Books Transcription Kyle Gray: Hello, and welcome to The Story Engine podcast. My name is Kyle Gray, and we have a really special podcast today. We're doing a video podcast and we even have a live audience. We've got an amazing guest with us today, Dallas Hartwig. Thank you so much for joining us. Dallas Hartwig: Thank you for having me. Kyle Gray: So Dallas, you, to introduce yourself properly is really difficult because you've done a lot of different things. You have many different interests and many different skills. How do you introduce yourself these days? How do you present the full picture of Dallas Hartwig? Dallas Hartwig: Is the hardest question of the whole thing? Kyle Gray: I think so. Dallas Hartwig: Because that is a hard question. Kyle Gray: I think so, yeah. Dallas Hartwig: How do I...I'm an explorer. I'm the guy who is interested in figuring out how to live well in a really weird and messed up world. And so I kind of take my experiences and thoughts and research, and occasionally insights, and share that with people in a variety of different ways, sometimes books, podcasts, interviews like this, rambling Instagram posts. But my background is anatomy and physiology. And I'm kind of a science research guy, but then quickly lose interest in the really, really granular stuff when it's hard to connect to the real world. And so I'm a pragmatist in that sense too. I'm like, "Let's look at the research, let's make this make good sense from a solid, rational standpoint, but then let's quickly drag it over into the real world and figure out how do we apply this." So I'm a pragmatic, scientific explorer. Kyle Gray: And will you tell me a story about a moment in your life that has really defined this path for you, how you've discovered these talents and these perspectives, and maybe that set you on this journey? Dallas Hartwig: The questions are getting harder actually. Kyle Gray: Uh-oh. Dallas Hartwig: No. I mean I think that one of the experiences for me that sort of has defined that aspect of this part of my professional life certainly was the kind of accidental experience of co-founding the Whole30 program. And I say kind of accidental in the sense that what really happened was my former partner and I did some personal experimentation on ourselves back in 2008, 2009 and started tinkering with different dietary approaches to see how we felt, how it affected mood, sleep, athletic performance, et cetera. Dallas Hartwig: And it was trial and error. It was tinkering. It was playing around with stuff. And then it became playing around with stuff in the public eye. And then it became playing around with stuff and tweaking the program and watching the results. And it was fairly sort of soft science. It was fairly sort of soft science. It was fairly sort of subjective and observational. But it very quickly iterated into something that became a really powerful tool for people. And so that idea of that approach of having an idea that something might be powerful and then just trying it out. Dallas Hartwig: And I mean the Whole30 program is about food, but ultimately it's a metaphor for living more broadly in the way that you take something that sounds like it might be useful, take something that if you're not sure what's going on with life and things don't feel quite right, you have to change something. And I'm a big fan of Occam's razor. So if you don't know what it is that doesn't feel right or you don't know what the cause of your problem is, guess. Guess the thing that looks proximate and reasonable, and ticker with it. And often, the thing that you have that gut sense is the root of the thing often is. Kyle Gray: So let's talk about food, and specifically my favorite food. Which when I hear your name, this phrase pops into my head. And it's, "Don't chew your chocolate," which is something... Yeah, this is something a mutual friend of ours mentioned about you right away. There's such a cool and profound lesson behind this. Can you tell me about why people should not chew their chocolate? Dallas Hartwig: It's so funny that you mention that. That was the first exchange that I had with this friend of ours, probably about a decade ago. And the question or kind of the comment or the discussion was around how much chocolate can you have. And the context was making nutrition recommendations to people and people being like, "Well, how much do I do this? How do I know? How many calories? How many grams? How many servings? How much?" And chocolate's one of those things where I think it's neither good nor bad. I think it's a food like anything else that has implications. And so it's not a function of good or bad, it's a function of what are the natural consequences here. Dallas Hartwig: So the natural consequences are also proportionate to how much you eat. And so the question was, "Well, how much can I have?" And I was like, "Well,"... It was sort of an offhand remark but it was something that later kind of stuck with me, and stuck with you apparently. But the answer to the how much can you have is you can have as much as you want, as long as you never chew it. And the thought process there was twofold. One, just pragmatically, it's hard to overeat chocolate when you have to let it melt in your mouth. It goes slow. Right? Especially if you've got a really good quality, rich, dark chocolate, it melts slowly. And the intensity of the experience and the richness of the flavors that open up as you let it melt in your mouth are really rich and satiating, and often include the natural, built-in sort of checks and balances to overconsumption. So there's the piece, the obvious piece of it's hard to over consume chocolate when you have to let it melt in your mouth. Dallas Hartwig: But then there's the kind of, and I think what you're getting at here is the larger piece of to what extent does the experience of, in this case, eating, influence and how much should that guide the way you live in general. And so the other layer to that then is letting the experience regulate itself, letting the natural biological, psychological experience become its own experience and become its own way to navigate. "How do I live in this world? Well, I pay attention and I let the built-in mechanisms speak for themselves." But I really have to listen. And whether it's talking about satiation with food or it's talking about how much sleep you need to get, but really tuning into being like, "What does my body need? What feels deeply good and rich for me?" And sometimes you don't know that till you really slow down and pay attention. Kyle Gray: I like this. And there is a connection here between kind of chocolate and sugar and consumption with food. It mirrors a lot of what you talk about. You have a program and a training called More Social, Less Media where I feel like social media, like chocolate and our phones and our devices in the internet age, it's brain sugar and it can be really addictive and just hook us in. And we can, like you say, just eat a whole bar of social media chocolate without even thinking about it. What would the don't chew your chocolate approach to technology and many of the fun bells and whistles that we're all engaged with these days look like? Dallas Hartwig: That's a super good question. What's the built-in check and balance? I think that the comparison there is really, really good, the social media candy bar kind of thing. Because really what's happening is we have something that is justifiable, either as it's social engagement or it's building my business or it's entertainment. There's lots of reasons we can give to other people, and especially ourselves, why social media or chocolate, or any other thing, any other experience, is totally okay. And I think the important part is removing the morality aspect of it, the self-judgment, the right/wrong, good/bad piece of it. Because there's nothing morally good or bad about eating chocolate. And there's nothing morally good or bad about using social media. Dallas Hartwig: But I think what happens is that the way these products and services are often designed is they're often designed sometimes explicitly to obscure the natural effects from ourselves. Or, if that's not the case, we're more than willing to turn a blind eye to the natural effects on ourselves because we like how it feels. So we build in opportunities to use or consume the thing more often than it's probably helpful for us. So I think to me it's difficult... And of course one of the things with the you have to let the chocolate dissolve in your mouth piece is it slows you way down. You can't do it mindlessly, it's effectively a mindfulness exercise. So in slowing down and paying attention, what you can notice is, "Oh, I've had two squares of dark chocolate. I don't actually want more. I don't want more." And you can just literally ask, "Do I want more?" And you're like, "Actually, I don't." And it's an easy answer. It's an easy solution. Dallas Hartwig: And I think there's probably something similar there with social media consumption as well. And the question might be there, "Does this still feel good for me?" Good, capital G, settling, meaningful, does this enrich my life? But you have to slow down to be able to ask and answer that question. Kyle Gray: I think one of the big things behind it is with a new social media, a new technology is usually it's like there's something that gets us in and gets us hooked. "I want to stay in touch with my friends in different countries... Dallas Hartwig: Totally. Kyle Gray: ... or from college." But the reason that we usually sign up for these things isn't always the reason that we stay scrolling. I think that's what you mean by the natural effects of what happens here. Dallas Hartwig: Right. Kyle Gray: And so one of the things I've been considering and working on is really getting clear, even writing down what is the purpose for me for using this tool. Dallas Hartwig: Right. Kyle Gray: It doesn't have to just be social media, but once you're clear on how you use those or the real benefit that it derives to you, then it's easier to kind of set the boundaries. Dallas Hartwig: Yeah, I think, to your point about the real benefit, I think the deeper the hooks are set, the harder it is to see the real benefit. I think that what happens is we start to create compelling stories, compelling narratives for ourselves about the real benefits. Because when I really drill down on it, when I think about Facebook, and I'll just use that as an example, the real benefit, the tangible benefit either to me personally or to me professionally is negligible. But I could pretty easily make a compelling story about like, "I have to build my brand and I have to have visibility and I have to put in new content to get new followers to sell more books," or whatever the outcome is. Dallas Hartwig: But the real, tangible benefit is a lot harder to identify as a real thing when I'm more interested in whether it's a real thing or whether I'm just trying to justify myself. That's just being honest with yourself. And that's a difficult thing to do when you have an inherent reward system present, whether it is the reward system for digital stimulation or for sugar or for sex or for any other highly-rewarding thing in the world. When you have that reward system present, it's difficult to see the real truth there. Kyle Gray: Is there a way to break those cycles? Is that individual to each of those? Or do you have some favorite strategies to kind of snap yourself out of those patterns? Dallas Hartwig: I think there's a lot of commonalities between behaviors. I think there are specific strategies, but I think there's a lot of commonality. And I'll drop the word “addition” here because that's a word that I think does truly apply in a lot of these cases. And I use that loosely in the sense of sort of continued use despite harm, not in a psychiatric sense but in a more broad sense. Because ultimately when we are able to sit quietly and introspect and slow down, what we notice is that, "Every time I get on Instagram, I end up feeling bad about myself because I'm comparing my life to somebody else's life. And actually, it doesn't actually feel good for me. There's not actually a lot of net benefits, but I still do it." And so there is that continued use despite harm to myself aspect of it. Dallas Hartwig: And I think ultimately recognizing that is the very first step. Like any 12-step kind of approach, it's like, "Hey, I have a problem. This doesn't work well for me." And I think change happens when the fear of the change is... Or I'll say it the other way. When the pain of it remaining the same exceeds the fear of the change. And that's kind of been the impetus for so many changes in my own life of, "This thing's not working for me. It has to be different. And at this point, my greatest fear is having my future be like my past." And I think that's, on a smaller scale, the way that all things change, including things that are really difficult to change, things that have inherent reward pathways built in to them and things that are truly addictive by anyone's definition. But it has to hurt before you're going to change it. Kyle Gray: I can see that. And it's one thing to be able to be self-aware, we've gone through life, we've had some experiences and we can kind of see, "Oh, there's maybe a problem here." But I think you also have a son that you are working on creating the best life possible for him. And when you are trying to work with somebody on the same level and maybe protect them or guide them and help them navigate this world where kind of the food we eat and the norms around the food we eat aren't exactly set up for their success, and the technology around us is not set up in their best interest either. And then there's also culture and other kids and other parents. How do you navigate these systems and how do you prepare your son and teach them to show them, "Here's how you can find your way through this world."? Dallas Hartwig: Well, that's a big question too. The short answer is I don't know. My boy's six. He and I have about the same levels of cognition so we identify easily with each other. We're both finding our way through the same world at the same level. But a lot of it has to do with helping him develop a very clear sense of self so he knows who he is and what matters to him. He's a six year old boy and right now his favorite color is pink and he likes unicorns and nail polish and pink shoes. And some of his peers are really unkind to him about that. And so we're having lots of good conversations about what it means, girl things and boy things, who you are, how you respond when people are unkind. And that's a current example, but there has been and there will be many, many more experiences in his life, like all of ours, where we have to figure out who we are, what matters to us. Dallas Hartwig: And when that comes into conflict with the dominant culture, with the norms, how do we handle that? Do we fall into line because there's enormous social pressure, consumer pressure, financial pressure to shut up and do as you're told? I mean I think this is kind of my social cynic coming out but the conventional education system does a really good job of training industrial factory workers. But, A, that's not where most jobs are these days and going into the future, as best as I can tell, and B, it doesn't actually make people's lives richer and deeper and more meaningful. It might prepare you for a financially stable job in a cubicle, but it's not something that's going to give you the best, the most complete, most meaningful set of tools to go out and explore the world and find out what my actual meaning and purpose myself, for me. Dallas Hartwig: So the conversations with my boy are a lot around, "What do you think about that piece? What do you think about that art things you just did? I happen to like it but the important thing is do you like it? You made it, how do you feel about it?," and having him check back in. And I had this moment of parental pride the other day where we had a conversation and he didn't like my answer to one of his questions. He wanted to do something and I said no, we couldn't do that. And he started to get frustrated and angry with me. And he's figuring out the balance of expressing anger without acting it out. And he was like, "Give me just a minute." And he turned around in his chair and took a few breaths and calmed himself down. And I was like, "Yeah, I'm doing something right here. I got a six year old who's like, 'Give me a minute to take some breaths.'" Dallas Hartwig: But that's the kind of stuff in being able to separate self from everything else and to have a sense of not that, "I'm so important or I'm so confident that what I think is the most important thing, and screw the rest of you," but more that as he learns, and as I learn at 40, that I need to know what's important to me and to recognize that there's absolutely no way to live a meaningful, happy, if that's the word, gratifying, satisfying life if you are conformed to somebody else's standard, no matter who that other person is. And we do a really bad job in this society of teaching kids how to figure out what that is for them, which is why I'm doing at 40 what he's doing at six. Kyle Gray: That's awesome. So you mentioned the education system here. So let's do a thought experiment and imagine we've just started the University of Dallas. What are some of the classes on the curriculum? Dallas Hartwig: Oh, interesting. This is a great one. It's funny because I just talked about education with a friend a couple of days ago. And I think the way I concluded that conversation was, "This whole large, standardized education system doesn't work, but I'm totally overwhelmed, I don't know how I would build something that would be more customizable for each individual," so I don't really know. I think a lot of it has to do with self-exploration. And you go all the way back to attachment theory and development of infants and toddlers, we have to feel accepted for who we really are as babies and infants and young children to be able to develop the ability and confidence to be able to go explore new things. Dallas Hartwig: And so this is informing the way that I parent my boy and I parent myself, because in order to go explore and figure out what I like in the world, what am I good at, what fills me up, I have to have this sense of confidence that that's okay to do and I have unconditional acceptance and love from, in my childhood, parents and then later from partners and peers and friends, and from self. And so there's kind of this closed loop of if you don't get that in childhood, you have to develop it later. And it's really difficult to give that to yourself later if you didn't get it in childhood. So there's a lot of extended personal growth there that then sets the stage to be able to go explore the world. Dallas Hartwig: So courses would be very self-directed. Courses would be very exploratory. There's a balance, right? There's a balance you have to do some things just to try new stuff that you didn't think you would like or didn't think that you'd be good at, but then also there's the part of, "I don't know what's right for you. I don't know what electives you should take. Go figure it out for yourself." So I think there's a lot of the conventional, general courses and electives that we take in university have some utility to give us some context for the world that we live in and also they don't really do the thing of teaching us how to think like they say that we're supposed to. So have you heard or seen the David Foster Wallace... He gives a lecture many years ago and he talks... And I think you find it on YouTube if you search for David Foster Wallace, This is Water. Kyle Gray: Oh, yeah. Dallas Hartwig: It's a brilliant commencement address I think, I want to say Bates College or somewhere, or Kenyon College. And he talks about finding our way through a very confusing world and the whole, "We're going to teach you how to think in a formal education system." He's well-intentioned but really, really oversimplified. Kyle Gray: Okay. Dallas Hartwig: That was my way of not answering your question. Kyle Gray: It was a good way. It worked, it worked. I'm still ready to enroll. This one, maybe this can be one of the courses that I would sign up for. Actually, I'm asking for a friend on this one. But you've talked about success versus satisfaction. And this is something that I wanted to ask you about because I've found myself at many points in my life I would set a goal, "I'll make this income, I'll achieve this, I'll travel here," and I'll get focused and start doing it. And it takes time to achieve a goal. Dallas Hartwig: Yeah. Kyle Gray: But as somebody who's ambitious and always forward thinking, by the time I actually get to the finish line of the goal, I have three more other goals that I'm looking for that are off in the horizon again, and I don't have time to celebrate this one anymore because there's three more and the clock's ticking. Dallas Hartwig: Totally. Kyle Gray: So it's a path to success in some forms where there's motivation, there's always an impetus to go forward, but it's hard to really be present and enjoy life if you're always in that. How do you handle that balance as somebody who's seen lots of different success in many different ways? Dallas Hartwig: Yeah, I definitely handle that situation differently than I used to, for sure. I think that success versus satisfaction is an interesting thing because there is tremendous satisfaction in succeeding at your own self-created, self-assigned goals. And also, often, usually because of either misunderstandings about ourselves or misunderstandings about what we really, truly, deeply value, or because we take on many sort of culturally and socially-assigned goals, we think applying ourself to achieving the things will make us feel satisfied, give us a sense of satisfaction. And many, many, many times I, and many of my peers, do the thing, whatever the thing is, and get to the end and we're like, "Wow, that was kind of cool. I did the thing. It didn't feel quite how I thought it would," or I'm on to the next thing already. Dallas Hartwig: And I think this... And you hear the commonly quoted research on people's top five regrets when they're on their deathbed, and none of them have to do with achieving more things. It's all about relationships and the way they spent their time and the way they valued people and the way they were vulnerable and intimate and connected to people that they cared about. None of it had to do with achieving more goals or having more success on any kind of professional, academic, financial way. That's just not what people think about. And if you think about a sense of satisfaction, that's something that is a thing that takes a long time to develop and it's kind of a slippery thing and defined differently for each person. Dallas Hartwig: But I don't know too many people who are deeply, completely satisfied by solely professional, academic, financial success. So then it becomes a function of, "Okay, what is this a symbol for? What is this a placeholder for in my life?" Why does it matter if I get the promotion or make partner or make $10 million? Why does that matter to me?" And I think understanding what that means... Because I think there's nothing inherently wrong with doing those things and they can be really, deeply satisfying if they meet the need that you've set out to meet with them. And I think lots of times that we don't even know what we're setting out to achieve in the deeper sense of self. Dallas Hartwig: So for me, and this is I guess an uncomfortable admission, but I don't have professional goals right now. I mean I have pragmatic goals of like, "I have to get my third book done because I'm already way behind schedule." But in terms of, "What do I do next?," I actually don't know. And that's a uncomfortable place to be because I have financial commitments, I have people asking me, I have people being like, "What's next? Where do you go from here?" My agents like, "Okay, cool. What," and I'm like, "I don't know." But there is a certain type of satisfaction in having the free, clear, open head space to be able to explore some of those things without having three more goals already set for myself. And that's not criticism of you, that's just I'm at a different place. Kyle Gray: Fair enough. Dallas Hartwig: So I have found the fewer specific goals I set, the more satisfied I am, which does not mean that's the way it is for anybody else. Because for me, in the enthesis, I'm a sort of very kind of flowy, things change a lot over time. To your point, I've done lots of different things over the years. The more specific I am about my goals, the more myopic I get about achieving them. And you can use the analogy of playing football and advancing the ball down upon down and making touchdown or not. But at the end of the day, what do you do? You move the goal line, you make another first down. I don't know much about football, I'm from Canada. I don't do this stuff. I think that's how it works. But then, okay cool, you made a first down or you made a touchdown and then you just do it all over again. And then the game's over eventually and you're like, "Okay, cool. I had six," or 60, or 6,000, "successes." Who cares? I don't think in those win/lose terms. So I think ultimately it comes down to, again, knowing what matters to you. And if making the most touchdowns in your life is actually what matters most to you, do it. Get a sense of satisfaction from that. That's just not my process. Kyle Gray: So as we follow this path that you're illustrating for us, discovering who we are, what we want, and kind of being able to separate ourselves from the message and the narrative that society is offering us instead, whether it's with food, eating better, changing your diet, or changing the way you interact with technology or pursuing a goal, it requires a certain amount of deviance. Dallas Hartwig: Yeah. Kyle Gray: At first, when I started changing my diet and being more careful with what I eat, it was a little bit challenging to ask the waiter or waitress every time, "Hey, can I have gluten-free bun with that or a lettuce wrap?," yeah, changing around the orders, or being at somebody's house and being like, "Sorry, that's just not on the menu for me." So it's a muscle that you need to work, this deviance muscle. And how do you recommend people start practicing that and growing that muscle and that attitude of deviance to be able to pursue what's truly the best for them instead of what the world offers us? Dallas Hartwig: Yeah, I mean that's the million dollar question. And I'll point directly to my dear friend and colleague, Pilar Gerasimo. I think I can say this, she's writing a book called The Healthy Deviant. And that's something that she's worked on, a concept she's worked on developing for 20+ years now and has written extensively about it. And I was very fortunate to just get a copy of the manuscript last week. So that'll be out I believe December or January, so it's coming up soon. But drawing heavily on her perspective, that concept of healthy deviants, not just of rebellious deviants, of counter-culturalism but the concept of thoughtful deviants, what matters to me and the recognition that conformity to the current, messed up norms doesn't produce outcomes that anybody wants. And if you agree with that statement, then we can get to a place we're like, "Okay, if I want something better than not good, I have to do something different." Dallas Hartwig: And so then recognizing that all of those norms, all of those conventions, work well for economic growth. They work well for social compliance and keeping law and order, so to speak. But they don't really work well to make individual people deeply happy. So there has to be the willingness to question like, "Oh man, maybe we're not actually on the right track here," as a culture overall, and then say, "Okay," if we think that's true, "what do I as an individual, which is all I can control, what do I as an individual do differently?" And it's not an easy process because you very quickly find yourself misunderstood, alone, confused about yourself, about your own identity, about your own values and goals, judged by other people, as you've probably experienced with some of this stuff. And the great thing about something like food is that the social norms are slowly shifting, so it's not so weird now to go into a restaurant and ask for a gluten-free option as it was 10 or 20 years ago. And so, in that sense, some of the social norms are making it easier for us to make healthy choices. Dallas Hartwig: But in a lot of other ways... A friend of mine said to me recently, talking about dating, and she was like, "I need to find somebody who's not on Instagram." And I was like, "Why?" And then I was like, "Oh yeah, yes, I got it." But that willingness to say, "Okay, this is a thing that many people do," but the thoughtfulness it requires and the sort of intestinal fortitude to do a different thing is a certain statement, is a certain corollary of strength of character and clarity about values. And I always come up with this... I'm a scientist, I always think about, from a biological standpoint, if you remember back to your high school biology class where you watched the video of cells, one cell dividing and kind of pulling apart and becoming this figure eight shape and then there's two different cells there. And I have this recurring vision of society being a lot like that where we have an unbalanced division, a mitotic division there of people who are staying the course, being pretty unconscious, being pretty conventional, and they will plummet to their own oblivion, if my prediction is correct. Dallas Hartwig: And then there is a subset, there's a different group that has to painfully pull apart and extract themselves from that convention and free themselves to do a different thing. And that's a painful, odd, excruciating, confusing, disorienting, exhausting process. So how to do that, in short, I don't have a short answer on that. A lot of it has to do with recognizing that you may or may not be on the right track right now. And then you're free to say, "I wanted it to be different." Kyle Gray: I think I have a short one or an easy practice. Dallas Hartwig: I'm ready. Kyle Gray: I learned this from Tim Ferriss. But he says, "Buy a weird pair of pants. Not so weird that people just know you're being crazy but just a little bit weird so people are like, 'Are you sure you wanted to wear those pants?'" Dallas Hartwig: I have a pair of those pants actually. Kyle Gray: Yeah. Dallas Hartwig: They're burgundy corduroy. Kyle Gray: There you go. Dallas Hartwig: They're just... Maybe they might not but... Kyle Gray: They're just... Yeah, yeah. You just want them to be just bad enough that people are like, "Did you really?" Dallas Hartwig: "Did you do that on purpose?" Kyle Gray: Uh-huh. Dallas Hartwig: Yeah. Kyle Gray: And just being able to do that and be in situations where you've got to be a little bit professional or show up, you just kind of work that muscle and practice being a little bit deviant. Dallas Hartwig: Right. Kyle Gray: But it's surprising that that's the same thing that everything else requires that we've been talking about. Dallas Hartwig: Yeah, I like that. I think it's a good one. My girlfriend will not be seen in public with me wearing a denim shirt with denim pants. She won't be seen in public with me. Kyle Gray: I don't understand that. Dallas Hartwig: I don't understand. Canadian tuxedos are classy. Kyle Gray: Yeah. Dallas Hartwig: But apparently not everyone agrees with me. But that's one of those things, that's my version of the weird pair of pants. Kyle Gray: Oh, that's great. Dallas Hartwig: But, yeah, I think that's a good starting point. Kyle Gray: Yeah. Dallas, we've covered a tremendous amount on how we can live better, how we can live more consciously, and how we can live a life that really serves us and not set up to serve a narrative that's not in our interest. Do you have any closing thoughts to share, and then we'll open it up for a few questions? Dallas Hartwig: Closing thoughts, I think one of the things that I'm kicking around a lot these days is this recognition that I've spent so much time in my life conforming to parents' standards, teachers' standards, boss's standards, friends, colleagues, society at large's standards that I haven't really, really figured out who the Dallas is way at the bottom, the one that I probably left behind when I was five. And I think that's an experience that, in talking to friends, I think a lot of us have and may not really even recognize that that's the thing. So I would encourage, and this is me giving myself advice, I would encourage further exploration of that. Because ultimately, we go way off track a lot without recognizing that we're off track. And then things don't feel good and we don't know why. And so I'm like, "Okay, let's strip it down, let's go back to basics and figure out who am I all the way at the bottom, when I'm by myself, when no one can see what I'm doing and no one knows my thoughts, no one knows what I want to do. Who is that person and what does that person care about?" And that can be both unsettling to look at and also really healing. And that's the journey that I'm on and the journey that I would encourage everyone to kind of undertake for themselves. Kyle Gray: Well, Dallas, I can't wait to meet the Dallas that you're working on and you're bringing forward. And thank you so much for joining us today. Dallas Hartwig: Thank you. Kyle Gray: Are there any questions? Dallas Hartwig: I think the question, if I'm getting it right, is if I don't set very specific, very tangible, quantifiable goals, what do I do in place of that? Is that about right? Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. Dallas Hartwig: For me, it's so much more about the process, so much more about moving through the experience of life and recognizing that I can set professional goals, I can set personal-growth goals that are more likely to be achieved if I write them down, I do all the goal-setting stuff that works really well. But that doesn't necessarily get me to the place I want to go. So a lot of it, for me, has become identifying areas of my life that don't feel good and just putting attention on those. And that could be relationships, that could be the way I spend my time, it could be my health, it could be any number of things, and just identifying, "Where do I feel friction? Where do I feel a lot of resistance? Where do I feel discomfort or pain or just a lot of suffering?" And then letting that naturally kind of follow me into that space and to put more attention on it, because that changes over time. Dallas Hartwig: As we iterate ourselves, what we put attention on evolves over time. And I don't have a sequence or a thing there, for me, for better or worse, it's a very organic, malleable, free-flowing process, but it starts with identifying what doesn't feel good, i.e, "What do I want to be different?" And once I know what I want to be different, then I can start inquiring, "How do I achieve that?" And often, going all the way back to your point about the Whole30, some is experimentation. It is, "This thing with my health or my food doesn't feel quite right. Something's not right there." And I sometimes don't know what the endpoint or what the long-term behavior is or the pattern or habit that it needs to be to make it feel really good, but I do know that that's the place I need to start exploring. Dallas Hartwig: And I think, again, Occam's razor, simple solutions, if you have a gut sense that you're not putting enough attention on your physical health, start putting some more attention on that. And the things that we put the most effort into excusing and justifying and avoiding looking at are usually the things that are our biggest stumbling block. So when I suggest to people, "Oh, I see that your diet's really pretty good but I also noticed that you're drinking most nights of the week. Maybe giving that a break for a while might prompt some kind of progress." And they're like, "No, it's totally fine," and they get this very defensive posture. The more defensive you are, the more important it is to you on some profound level. And if you find yourself getting really good at justifying things or emotionally responsive and sort of reactive and defensive, that's a dead giveaway that that's the thing you need to look at. So it's kind of the litmus test of, "How much do you hate me for saying this?," that's the thing. Kyle Gray: I like that a lot. Dallas Hartwig: So the question then is how do I know if I feel good? Speaker 4: I guess that's it. Dallas Hartwig: Is that right? Kyle Gray: Yeah. Dallas Hartwig: If you don't feel good, you know. If you do feel good, you probably know. And so I don't know that it's actually useful to try to quantitatively define, "Do I feel good?," to myself, relative to somebody else, relative to some objective external standard. If you are perfectly content in your life, I don't want to change anything. If everything feels good, I don't want to change anything. If you tell me everything feels good but you say to yourself, "Well, not really," all that really is happening there is sort of self-delusion. And that's not my business to meddle with. But if something doesn't feel good to you, you'll probably know because you'll probably notice a yearning for it to be different, some piece of it. Right? And we have these deep, profound yearnings of like, "Hey, I wish this thing in my life was different," or, "I hope that in 10 years it'll be that way instead of the way it is now." And so the recognition that we want it to be different than it is, there's the litmus test. Dallas Hartwig: And it's different for every single person. And this is actually one of the aspects of the Whole30 that I still really stand by in every other self-experiment is I don't need to or don't want to, it actually works against the process of self-exploration and self-development for some external expert, guru, whoever, to say, "This is what you should eat," and how much, at what times of day for this outcome. I don't know any of that for you, and neither does anybody else. And the ones that say they do are lying, usually to themselves because they think they do. But if it feels good for you, you know. And if it doesn't feel good for you, you're the only one that's going to know whether it feels better or worse when you start changing things. And so start changing things, and start at the place that feels the least good. Dallas Hartwig: And what often happens, and this is, again, what happened a lot when people started changing their diet with the Whole30 program, if that was an area where they were like, "I really need to put attention on my health, on nutrition," and they started changing that, lots of times relationships, creativity, sleep, and many other things in life, that were lesser issues but still didn't feel good, started to self-resolve. Because these things are all interrelated. So what you might find is if you start with the most obvious place that doesn't feel good, some of the other things may just start to feel better. And you might not even notice that until weeks or months or years later where you're like, "Oh yeah, I used to get that really bad seasonal allergy thing or used to have seasonal depression in the wintertime. And I kind of don't have that anymore." And you don't even notice because it just never reappeared. So long-winded way of saying you are the only person who knows whether it feels good for you or not. I can't tell you that. Kyle Gray: Thanks for listening to the Story Engine Podcast. Be sure to check out the show notes and resources mentioned on this episode and every other episode at thestoryengine.co. If you're looking to learn more about how to use storytelling to grow your business, then check out my new book, Selling With Story: How to Use Storytelling to Become an Authority, Boost Sales, and Win the Hearts and Minds of Your Audience. This book will equip you with actionable strategies and templates to help you share your unique value and build trust in presentations, sales, and conversations, both online and offline. Learn more at sellingwithstory.co. Thanks for listening, and I'll see you next time.
The Living Experiment: Rethink Your Choices. Reclaim Your Life.
This week on The Living Experiment we're talking about Healthy Deviance (again!), so we're calling this episode Healthy Deviance 2. First, we explore the evolution of Pilar's notion of Healthy Deviance, reflecting on how it has taken ahold and become part of a larger conversation about how to be a healthy, happy person in an often unhealthy, unhappy world. Next, after Dallas dashes off to catch his flight, Pilar breaks down some of the key concepts of her forthcoming book about Healthy Deviance, which has now found a publisher, and is scheduled to be published in the winter of 2019. Yay! Pilar describes the nature of what she calls the Nonconformist Competencies of Healthy Deviance, as well as the wide range of healthy-person skills you need to claim and sustain them for yourself. Finally, Pilar offers you some experiments to help you evaluate whether or not you currently identify as a Healthy Deviant, and where you might be right now on the Healthy Deviant Hero's Journey of your own life. Get full show notes and resources at http://livingexperiment.com/healthy-deviance-2/
The Living Experiment: Rethink Your Choices. Reclaim Your Life.
This week on The Living Experiment we're talking about Weight Loss — the myths, the methods, and the massive struggle it represents for the majority of Americans today. Starting with our own frustration with the muddled messages often broadcast on this topic, we strive to set the record straight. From the madness of trying to control one's weight through low-fat eating, calorie counting, and “portion control,” to the sensible strategies that work a whole lot better, we share what we know, and what we wish more people knew, about the keys to managing your weight in a healthier, happier way. Pilar shares her Healthy Deviant approach to weight loss, and Dallas draws from his two New York Times bestsellers to help you rethink not just the way you're eating, but also the way you are managing your thoughts, your energy, your daily patterns, and your biochemistry. And of course, we offer you some experiments to help you recast your assumptions about weight, and weight loss, for the long haul. Get full show notes and resources at http://livingexperiment.com/weight-loss/
The Living Experiment: Rethink Your Choices. Reclaim Your Life.
This week on The Living Experiment, we're talking about one of Pilar's all-time favorite topics: Healthy Deviance. It's a favorite because it's the subject of the book she's writing, and also an idea at the core of the work she's been doing for the past 15 years or so — including this podcast! So, what does it mean to be a healthy person in an unhealthy culture? What's required of us, and what's available to us, when we choose to reject the norms of a society that's making a lot of us sick and unhappy a lot of the time? And how the heck can you even hope to do that when there seems to be so much working against you? These are questions that both of us are fascinated by, and that we each explore in our own work in different ways. So here, we journey together into The Way of the Healthy Deviant, and we offer you some fun opportunities to experiment with Healthy Deviance in your own life. "Healthy Deviance" Episode Highlights Pilar's personal health journey and how it led her to become a rebellious health experimenter, a media-industry disruptor — and, ultimately, a Healthy Deviant The evolution of Healthy Deviance as expressed through Pilar's earlier works and projects, including Experience Life magazine, her Manifesto for Thriving in a Mixed Up World, and the "101 Revolutionary Ways to Be Healthy" mobile app Seeing what Pilar calls our "Unhealthy Default Reality" as a real-life Matrix of sorts — understanding the challenges and rewards involved in unplugging from the dominant-culture definitions of "normal" Evolutionary biology 101: Seeing the origins of our health crisis in the agricultural revolution, and understanding why "Paleo" diets and workouts alone can't provide a solution to our modern-day challenges Pilar describes The Way of the Healthy Deviant, including what she sees as three key competencies: 1) Amplified Awareness (valuing, developing and safeguarding your own attention); 2) Preemptive Repair (getting ahead of the daily damage that causes depletion, inflammation, imbalance and illness); and 3) Continuous Growth and Learning (progressively building and expanding the "skills of the healthy person") The value of embracing the quest for Healthy Deviance as a Hero's Journey — an energizing adventure and opportunity for creative self-expression — rather than just a tough, thankless slog Get full show notes at http://livingexperiment.com/healthy-deviance/
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