Love Thy Enneagram Number

I'm so excited to be speaking with Christa Hardin, author of the book "The Enneagram in Marriage: Your Guide to Thriving Together in Your Unique Pairing." In The Enneagram in Marriage, readers will learn to: understand their partner's emotions and reactions extend more grace to their partner and themself have productive conversations that foster connection build a legacy together with intention. Each chapter concludes with three sections that aim to lead readers into a practical engagement with the materials, including tips to think through, questions to spark conversation, and assignments for partners to complete. As Hardin shares, “My ultimate hope as you read this book is that you find refreshment as you become a healthier individual, that you find grace and understanding for your spouse, and most of all, that you find the unique way you can shine together in the world with your unique Enneagram pairing.”   Connect with Christa: https://www.instagram.com/enneagramandmarriage/ https://www.enneagraminyourmarriage.com/enneagram-deeper-dives ORDER THE BOOK: https://www.amazon.com/Enneagram-Marriage-Thriving-Together-Pairing/dp/1540903370

Laurie Palau is the author of the book HOT MESS: A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO GETTING ORGANIZED, host of the popular weekly podcast, This ORGANIZED Life, and founder of Simply B Organized-a lifestyle company helping people live simply and work smarter. Laurie speaks on the topics of clutter, parenting, and entrepreneurship. Her latest work connects the dots between personality type and clutter, through the lens of the Enneagram. Her framework helps you to understand: Whether you have a natural tendency towards physical, emotional, or calendar clutter  Specific strategies for living a more organized & less cluttered life  Which strategies to avoid based on your Enneagram type Understanding the 5 clutter pitfalls and how to avoid them You can connect with Laurie in all the cool places! :-) Simply B Organized Email her at: info@Simplyborganized.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/simplyborganized/     #enneagram #organization #enneagrampodcast   

“Now is when all your experience pairs with possibility. That's why these years are your Power Years™. I love that quote from Sara Smeaton, creator of The Power Years™ Passport, The Midlife Manifesto and a wealth of wonderful resources and insight for women entering and traversing Midlife. Sara says..." Our ageist society trains us to fight getting older and to believe ‘all of the good times are behind me'. I think this is so wrong on so many levels – and here's why: These are the Power Years™ because we have experience and possibility in equal measure. AND we have opportunities, health, and economic stability like never before. Yes, this is a time of transition and disruption and yes, this often brings with it big questions about ‘what do I want to do with the rest of my life?', and ‘are the choices I made in my 20's and 30's still right for me?' That disruption can be scary but there's also a huge amount of hope and opportunity here. Because you get to decide what you want to do with your one and precious life — and that's what I help people to do." Sara has generously given our listeners a FREE copy of her ebook - The Power Years™ Passport! It's a fun, lighthearted inner journey that is perfect for you if you are: On the threshold of something new Looking to change your perspective about your age and what's possible for you Feeling stuck in a midlife rut Wanting to do some guided inner reflection that is fun and impactful Looking to tap into your creativity, recalibrate and reconnect with yourself Longing for access to your own inner wisdom Curious about who you are becoming and what's next for you You can find all the ways to contact Sara on her Resource Page: Sara Smeaton

Type 1s - They already carry the core FEAR of Being wrong, bad, inappropriate or Immoral They ARMOR UP by thinking….It's not okay to make mistakes therefore.....I must strive to follow the rules, be responsible and catch my mistakes before others do. It's the only way I'll be safe and loved.  Type 2s They already carry the core FEAR of Being unloved, unwanted, needy They ARMOR UP by thinking- People depend on me for help. I will earn the love and appreciation of others through acts of selflessness. I am only worthwhile if I am liked and needed therefore I will be loved if I am loving. It's the only way I will be safe and loved.  Type 3s They already carry the core FEAR of Failing to appear successful, being exposed as incompetent They ARMOR UP by thinking - The world values winners. I must succeed at all costs. I must avoid failure. I am what I do – to earn my place, I must be the best at what I do. This is how I feel safe and loved.  Type 4s They already carry the core FEAR of Being without identity, misunderstood, flawed They ARMOR UP by thinking  - Something is missing – I must find what is missing in my life. I must be true to my purpose and express my authentic self. I must create beauty and meaning for myself and for the world.This is how I feel safe and loved. Type 5s They already carry the core FEAR of Being helpless, incompetent, without resources They ARMOR UP by thinking  -The world is intrusive; I must protect my resources and energy so that I can think. I must be self-sufficient and not depend on others too much. I must understand and make sense of my world. I don't need much but I need my space. This is how I feel safe and loved.  Type 6s They already carry the core FEAR of Being unprepared, afraid, being blamed, without support  They ARMOR UP by thinking - The world is a threatening and unsafe place. Be prepared. Be loyal. People can count on me. Be careful who you trust. I must not be afraid, but I must not let my guard down. I must protect myself, but I must be loyal. This is how I feel safe and loved.  Type 7s They already carry the core FEAR of Missing out, being deprived, trapped in emotional pain and being bored  They ARMOR UP by thinking  - The future is full of exciting possibilities and I must experience it all! If I prioritize planning for future activities I can escape confronting present, painful circumstances.This is how I feel safe and loved. Type 8s They already carry the core FEAR of Weakness, vulnerability, being controlled  They ARMOR UP by thinking - The world is a tough and unjust place – only the strong survive. I am a rock; I must not be weak. I must be in control. I'll do it my way! This is how I feel safe and loved. Type 9s They already carry the core FEAR of Conflict, feeling shut out, losing connection  They ARMOR UP by thinking - I am okay as long as the people around me are okay too. The world would be a better place if people could treat each other with respect. I must be tolerant and accepting. I must keep the peace. This is how I feel safe and loved. Poem by Billy Chapata Instagram https://www.instagram.com/iambrillyant/ #enneagram #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram3 #enneagram4 #enneagram5 #enneagram6 #enneagram7 #enneagram8 #enneagram9 #howthegrinchstolechristmas

Women in Midlife already know about change! There are conversations everywhere you look about transformation and change. But the conversations mostly discuss what we need to change FROM!! What do we do when things change and we don't know what they're changing TO? We may even be pretty sure what we're changing FROM but sometimes the change TO is a big mystery. Hélène Stelian is helping women to THRIVE in midlife and take some of the mystery out of the change. Hélène is the Midlife Mentor with a passion for facilitating personal development in women 40+. Through her THRIVE community, she helps introspective, curious, action-oriented women 40+ deepen their journeys of self- discovery and growth—and create their next chapter with courage and intention. Be sure to download this FREE gift from e-book Hélène "Thrive in Midlife: Create a No-Regrets Second Half." https://helenetstelian.com/ebook RESOURCE LINKS: Website: https://helenetstelian.com/ THRIVE membership: https://helenetstelian.com/membership/ or www.MyTurnToThrive.com Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/empoweringwomenmidlife/ Twitter: @htstelian https://twitter.com/HTStelian LinkedIn: @helene-tragos-stelian https://www.linkedin.com/in/helene-tragos-stelian YouTube:  @Empowering Women in Midlife 

Midlife Metamorphosis - A Revolution of Spirit I've taken a refined direction...a place I feel 'at home'. Carl Jung says..."The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it." For those of us who have lived long enough to form our story, or ego-story, the question is, as we transition to new phases of life...why must we let it go if we've worked so hard to create it? What is its purpose? And how can we let it go if we aren't sure what 'it' is? Identify. Release. Unfold. Join me and the beautiful community of midlife women who are sharing the journey together. A place to grow and encourage as we use the enneagram to help us identify what needs to be released so we might unfold into the freedom of life we were created to live! Come be a part of the Revolution of Spirit! Be sure to sign up for the Newsletter to receive information about the workshop,  pre-course journal prompts and course information. To visit the website and learn more click here: The Unfolding Enneagram To register click here: The Unfolding Workshop

Kelsi is an enneagram 9 and licensed professional counselor in the Kansas City area specializing in adolescents and adults with anxiety, depression, life transitions and identity work. She's continually excited to get to bring the Enneagram into her counseling work and continue her own growth through it as well. Her most favorite part of her work is getting to help people come home to themselves. Outside of her career, she enjoys college football, Summer thunderstorms and re-reading Glennon Doyle's "Untamed" over and over. You can find her on Instagram @grovecounseling or on her website at grovecounselingllc.com.  

How do you use your understanding of the Enneagram with people in your life without saying the word ‘enneagram' ?  Shantris shares the beauty of simply being aware of the energy of other people to give them support in the ways they need it and, as she says...holding space with "Gracious Expectations." Shantris is a trauma and Enneagram-informed postpartum doula and parent educator. She is also an Operations professional primarily providing financial, administrative, and organizational support to Black-led nonprofit organizations. Shantris trained as a Perinatal Community Health Worker at Mamatoto Village, a Washington DC based family support organization dedicated to creating career pathways and providing accessible perinatal support services for Women of Color. Her passion for BIPOC family empowerment has influenced not only her trajectory in the nonprofit sector, but also her decision to launch EPIC Parent Education & Consulting, where she offers workshops, small groups, and 1:1 consulting designed to enhance parental capacity and awareness. She loves outdoor running, (mostly) keeping her houseplants alive, sampling her husband's home-roasted coffees, and tagging along on the backyard adventures of her two children.   Contact: IG: @loveshanyshan + @epicblackparents (this page isn't actually active yet lol) Email: shantris@epicblackparents.com  

Like many terms of phrases that have been used with the Enneagram for decades, recently we have begun to expand on the original ones - not change their core meaning but dig a little deeper into the words themselves. So what if I restated the original childhood message for type 5s in this way…. “It's not ok to let your guard down because you won't be able to handle things competently.” If you're a type 5 or you love a type 5…does that hit differently? Let's add a little more complexity to this scenario - Type 5s are in the Thinking or Head Center of Intelligence (meaning their instinctual way of processing life is from their minds first - not the heart or their gut), they are in the withdrawing stance and they sit right in the middle of the FEAR triad! The power of deep listening is HEARING what, at times, someone doesn't even know how to say. Pay attention…you'll hear. You don't have to have the right words…you just want them to know you are there, present and listening in whatever way they are emptying their heart. This is how we contribute to less suffering in this world. To our beautiful type 5s….Breath in this message…”All you truly need to know RIGHT THIS MOMENT is that you are heard and seen and loved.” #enneagram5 #enneagramtype5 #deeplistening #childhoodmessage #enneagrampodcast

Today, let's look at the childhood message for type 4: It almost seems impossible to think of a child hearing these words and the truth is….these exact words were most likely, never spoken but somehow the message was received that “It's not ok to be too functional or too happy.” Take just a few seconds to FEEL that deep inside. Imagine how that feels….I CAN'T BE TOO HAPPY. I Can't DO too much…Too much…..Too happy. What creates this feeling of having to be less than you are? That if anyone truly knew how deeply you FEEL and how you see such depth to the world it would be TOO MUCH for them? That YOU are just TOO MUCH and thus, feel so out of place….longing to just be authentically YOU? Breath in this truth…..You ARE seen and LOVED for ALL that you. You are NOT too much. You don't have to hide the beauty of ALL you offer to this world. Listen deeply to that message  #Enneagram4 #Enneagram #EnneagramPodcast #EnneagramChildhoodmessage #DeepListening  

Who doesn't love being applauded for a job well done? And which of us as parents or adults don't love applauding the young - sometimes literally clapping after a performance? That's natural and it's necessary to encourage achievement. This is part of life…competition, endurance, challenge and success. But when the trophy doesn't come, when the grades fall, when the job is lost and success is no where to be seen…when the applause has stopped…..what does the voice inside say? Today, if you are an Enneagram type 3 or you love a type 3, listen deeply and compassionately to this message as if a child is saying this….“It's not okay to have my own feelings and my own identity.” Can you hear that sweet boy or girl saying….”I'll be what you want me to be and you'll be so proud. I'll be the best for you and I know you'll love me, right?” Dear Enneagram type 3 - You have carried this message to long. It no longer serves you and it's time to let it go. Breath in this pure truth….”I am loved and accepted today. I WAS loved before I ever put on the first mask to hide my true feelings. I am free to drop anything that covers my true identity which is simply and wonderfully ME. #Enneagram #Enneagram3 #EnneagramType3 #DeepListening #EnneagramChildhoodMessage  

What was the childhood message for enneagram type 2s? It was……“It's not ok to have your own needs.” How did that message get embedded in the unconscious mind of a young type 2? Every childhood is different and every child interprets their experiences differently. Each of us has a filter through which we understand the world around us. But young type 2s processed that early data and concluded: “I'll be loved if I sacrifice my own needs for the needs of others.” So Their self-love became conditional upon their earning a sense of worth through taking care of others. How soul crushing. The weight of that burden is too much to carry. Breath. Empty your heart and suffer less. This message that you are only wanted if you are sacrificing your needs for others is NO LONGER SERVING YOU. Say it out loud…."The needs and desires of my heart are my birthright." Breath in that truth. Empty your heart of the suffering you carry day after day of believing you aren't worthy of love and belonging unless…. There is no “unless”. You don't need to earn love….you ARE love and you are LOVED and wanted - no strings attached. #Enneagram, #EnneagramPodcast, #EnneagramType2, #Enneagram2, #DeepListening, #ChildhoodMessage

What is Deep Listening? It comes from the teachings of Buddhist Monk ticht nacht hahn. He says Deep Listening (or Compassionate Listening) is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of another person. You listen with only one purpose: to help him or her to empty his heart. ... You just listen with compassion and help him to suffer less. Take a few seconds to feel the power of those words….to empty their heart so they can suffer less. Now….feel the shift when we say…”To empty my own heart so I can suffer less.” I'd like to offer the suggestion that we LISTEN to our own voice…starting with the inner childhood messages for each of our types. Oh way be adults but we carry memories and messages from the very beginning of our lives. The childhood messages may come from a loved one, a parental figure, a teacher or a friend. Yet, the words themselves may have never actually been spoken and even beyond actually being said at all, we, as children, often create the belief in our own fragile minds through a filter we've already begun to create from our limited life experience. But early on, we all create a foundational message from which we begin to create our lives. For Enneagram type 1 the message was “It's not ok to make mistakes.” Type 1s….who told you it's not ok to make mistakes? And how did you feel when you do? Ashamed? Afraid? Who told you were anything less than you perfect love? Who made you feel that being LOVED depended on your being good? And who decided for you what “GOOD” looked like. Oh sweet child….you are GOOD because you are a living. Can you empty your heart just a little bit today? Can you listen DEEPLY with a loving voice? Say it out loud….I am not ashamed. I am not afraid. It's not up to me to prove my worth or my goodness. I am Good. #DeepListening #Enneagram #EnneagramPodcast #Enneagram1 #Enneagramtype1 #EnneagramChildhoodMessage #Mistakes #SufferLess #EmptyYourHeart #SelfTalk

What do we do? What happens when you don't know where you want to be but you just know you don't want to be where you are? My friend, Professional Business Coach, John Alan Turner, says….“It's not enough to know where you don't want to be. You have to know where you're going.” I have been PASSIONATE about the Enneagram for many, many years. 12 to be exact. Do I know all there is to know about the it after all these years? Not remotely….WHO DOES? No one - it's a life time of unfolding into greater understanding. And I LOVE teaching the nuts and bolts of the Enneagram and how our personalities show up within our types. But what I truly LOVE is seeing someone have that light bulb moment and sense a freedom they hadn't felt before. I LOVE information and if you're in the HEAD triad you can just FEED endlessly on information. But I LOVE people and know that simply being passionate about anything can actually be oppressive. You can belittle and actually do more harm than good to someone with whatever information you're passionate about if you don't have COMPASSION. Passion + Compassion = Purpose. Just like Passion without Compassion can be ineffective, information without transformation is useless. I knew that if I was going to take the necessary steps to move OUT of the space I was in and into a new space I needed to guidance….someone who understood where I wanted to go and could help me recalculate. I needed a Guide - A Coach. I've been in an Enneagram Coaching apprenticeship program for several months and I'm so excited to actually KNOW where I'm going with a map of how to get there! I connected with someone who has given me guided direction…someone who understood my desire to take my knowledge combined with my heart for helping people free themselves from whatever pain point is keeping them from flourishing, to create a way to take my passion and marry it with compassion. This means a lot of changes are coming in a few months. I'll be rebranding…a new name with a clear message. I'll be using my years of consuming information that have lead to my own transformation and my ALMOST 63 years of life experience to help others who may know they are STUCK and want a way out. OR maybe you just realize where you are in life is no longer fulfilling and you need a little help recalculating. I'm excited to be able to confidently say….I can help you. #Enneagram #EnneagramCoach #Passion #Compassion #Enneagram1 #Enneagram2 #Enneagram3 #Enneagram4 #Enneagram5 #Enneagram6 #Enneagram7 #Enneagram8 #Enneagram9

The Passion for For type 1s is ANGER. Type 1s are often called the Reformers and hold themselves to very high standards which is a good quality, right? SO…the deceitfulness of the passions is that it seems GOOD to be conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. And being ANGRY goes against what seems to be GOOD. So they resist being angry. And when others don't seem to hold the same standards of goodness then that anger that they resist builds. But 1s are even harder on themselves so that anger turns inward so often if they believe they haven't lived up to their own standards. The relentless demand of the inner critic to be good and do good at all times and to set the standard for what is good, replaces personal needs and shuts down feelings which, if left unaddressed will come out in the form of resentment. Type 2s…The Passion is Pride …..This seems so opposite of what we see in type 2s who are so giving of their love, their time, knowing what everyone else needs. In fact, they are so focused on others that they take PRIDE in seeming to not have needs of their own. THEY see themselves as THE SOURCE of what others need. It seems GOOD to be so servant-hearted but when they resist acknowledging they have needs, having denied their own in service to others, they are actually denying others the gift of service. For type 3s the passion is Self-deceit or conforming to what they think is necessary to be SEEN as successful or WORTHY. 3s are often called “Shape shifters” because they will take on the role of what they think OTHERS want them to be. It seems GOOD to be success-driven and even GOOD to be adaptable but they resist resting in their authenticity and resist knowing they are fully loved apart from any external success. The passion of type 4 is Envy but this envy is a internal sense of a lack of being whole…like something about themselves is inherently missing. They tend to believe everyone else has that missing thing. They long for authenticity which leads to the desire to be unique because they actually believe they ARE unique because others have what they believe they are missing. 4s are SO in touch with this FEELING of deficiency that they seek value in an idealized external experiences or work or a relationship. It seems GOOD to BE AUTHENTIC and not conform but they resist knowing there's nothing missing because they are so identified with that image. It becomes a never ending loop if left in an unhealthy stage. Type 5's passion is AVARICE but in Enneagram language it is not a desire for obtaining money or possessions but of resources .They retreat inward and hoard their time and energy. This inward focus allows the Type Five ample time to focus on ideas and acquiring knowledge. That doesn't seem like a negative thing, right? I mean…isn't it GOOD to know what you're talking about - to gain knowledge and to not just throw your time and energy away? It can be good for sure. BUT…they worry that if they share too much of themselves, they won't have enough left. SO…in resisting connection by retreating inward, but it also builds a wall between them and others. As they pull back from external connections, they also become detached from their emotional self. The passion for type 6 is FEAR. They are sometimes referred to as THE LOYALISTS - great people to have on your team, right? Type 6s are so great at anticipating what could go wrong. They look for where danger could be lurking or what problems MIGHT occur at any time. We NEED these people who are cautious and security-oriented. If I'm going on a wilderness trek that's who I want to go with! But they can become so focused on what could go WRONG that they become suspicious and filled with self-doubt. So what seems GOOD can be paralyzing. For Type 7s the passion is Gluttony. In this context it's a almost insatiable craving to experience ALL THE THINGS. 7s see the positive in most things and are typically focused on being joyful and happy. 7s deepest fear is being trapped in emotional pain so they try to avoid anything that causes pain or sadness. In fact, they see their worth is in BEING the positive person. It seems GOOD to look for the positive, to be Joyful, to NOT dwell in pain. And so....they resist what is actually before them in the present and deny that they experience pain. This also makes them emotionally unavailable to anyone else who might need them in time of grief. And what happens? They disconnect from their heart and my body, rationalize away the pain and escape to a place in the future where there is no sadness. But that place doesn't actually exist and instead of feeling FULL of all aspects of life, they are left feeling a hunger and emptiness through what appeared to be GOOD. Type 8s passion is called LUST which isn't just about sexuality although it can include it. 8s have a desire for INTENSITY in whatever they do. They take the initiative and make things happen! They see the world as unjust and power imbalanced. So they feel they need to dominate so they are not controlled. They are the most assertive type in the enneagram. 8s want to be self-reliant, to prove their strength and resist weakness, to be important in their world. 8s are often referred to as THE PROTECTOR. They are often champions for the underdog. That sounds SO GOOD! But in their attempt to control and NOT BE controlled they lose touch with vulnerability. They can see it as weakness and so they resist letting their feelings be seen. Make no mistake, though…8s are very feeling people but keep up the powerful façade so they won't be hurt. Type 9's passion is called Sloth. So…what does ‘sloth' mean in Enneagram language? It is sense of inertia to YOURSELF….a falling asleep to your OWN passions, abilities, desires, needs, and worth by merging with others. Why have type 9s been called the PEACEMAKERS? Because they strive to maintain peace both internally and externally. So, this means avoiding conflict at all costs! You will often read about type 9s' desire for Peace and Harmony like they are one and the same. But they are not. I think that 9s - like all of us, actually, would love to live in HARMONY with the world but we settle for NO-CONFLICT. The tendency is to GO ALONG with others to avoid not having peace. So - where is the deceitfulness of Good here? Type 9s often make great mediators because they have an ability to see all sides of a situation. How great is that? They generally have a calming effect on people, they are usually non-judgmental, easy going. But, as we have quoted throughout this series, “what you resist not only persists, but grows stronger.” When you resist your own needs to accommodate others' it will result in unhealthy relationships - maybe even a codependent relationship. Avoiding conflict with others keeps Nines from being fully present in relationships. Avoiding internal conflict leads to inertia and self-forgetting. When so much of their focus is on other's then there isn't a lot of energy to take care of your own. 9s can become passive-aggressive and resentment builds because they have so much to contribute to the world but taking on the role of THE PEACEMAKER keeps them from taking action on their own desires. Once again…this is the loop that we all get in when we don't acknowledge our suffering. We are deceived into believing our GOOD WORKS will equal being LOVED. #Enneagram #EnneagramPassions #DeceitfulnessOfGood #SelfDeceit #Enneagram1 #Enneagram2 #Enneagram3 #Enneagram4 #Enneagram5 #Enneagram6 #Enneagram7 #Enneagram8 #Enneagram9  

As we continue to look at the deceitfulness of good through the enneagram perspectives we see how the passion, which comes from the latin word 'passeo' which means 'to suffer', of each type is tied to an attempt to resist the suffering by doing good. But, in the words of Carl Jung, what you resist not only persists, but will grow in size. When we resist confronting what makes us suffer it will only lead to deeper suffering, loss of self love and loss of relationships. In this episode we look at Enneagram types 4,5,6 and 8. We are saving types 7 and 9 for next week as those are our types and we'll explore how this journey has opened up such growth for ourselves, as individuals, as well as our marriage.  #worldviews #personalgrowth #enneagram #deceitfulness #spiraldynamics #enneagram4, #enneagram5 #enneagram6 #enneagram8 #enneagrampassions #evolutionarygrowth

"What we resist not only persists, but will grow in size." ~ Carl Jung There are a couple of different words for what each Enneagram type resists - but typically they are referred to as The Passion or The Vice. So when I first began hearing about the Passions I was confused because Passion sounded good - like something you’re really good at or something you really love. But, in this context Passion comes from the Latin word Passio which meas TO SUFFER. I absolutely prefer PASSION over VICE because the definition of Vice is ‘moral fault or wickedness'. Do you FEEL the difference? What we would call a fault or an act of wickedness, a vice, seems to be an outward action where are PASSION is inward…it’s what we HOLD INSIDE. It might even seem GOOD to suffer in silence or even deny our suffering. We will look at Enneagram types 1, 2 and 3 in this episode. #Enneagram #EnneagramPassions #Enneagram1 #Enneagram2 #Enneagram3 #SpiralDynamics #Worldviews

My guest today is performance poet, Joel McKerrow. To try and describe what that means and what he does in a these show notes would be like asking me to describe what crème brûlée taste like. I can’t. You must experience it. I’m so excited to share his latest project, HUMAN - An Exploration of the Inner Life. Through the visual arts, the zoological, the poetic and the musical, HUMAN is an exploration of the drive that makes us...well...human. With a philosophical base in the identity framework of the enneagram (plus a few extras), this is your chance to explore your deeper desires, your compulsions, your hopes and your fears and how they shape your life for better and for worse. Joel McKerrow is an award winning writer, speaker, educator, artist, creativity specialist and, having performed for hundreds of thousands of people throughout the world, is one of Australia’s most successful, internationally touring, performance poets. Based out of Melbourne, Australia he is the Artist Ambassador for the aid and development organisation ‘TEARFUND Australia’ and was the co-founder of community arts organisation, 'The Centre for Poetics and Justice' (2010-2013). Joel was the third ever Australian representative at the Individual World Poetry Slam Championships in the USA and is a highly sought after speaker at conferences and festivals all over the world. He has four published books and four spoken word/music albums, is a successful play-wright and is a co-founder/host of the The Deep Place: On Creativity and Spirituality Podcast. I hope you’ll allow yourself to take in the visual along with the spoken word by visiting his website and choosing your animal symbol, seeing the meaning of each one while you hear the exploration of the inner life of each of type. To be HUMAN is to live in tension with oneself. It's the way we want to be fully known and the fear that stops us. It's the ache of our longing and the hope of our finding. It’s the pain of our sorrow and the joy of our love. It’s the dark that hides and the light that reveals. It's the despair and it is the beauty. This inner conflict, or perhaps truer to say, this inner confluence, is where the wellspring of what impels us overflows into our everyday realities. Ask the animals, they know. #Enneagram #EnneagramPodcast #JoelMcKerror #Poetry #PerformancePoet #creativewriting #AustralianPoet  #WorldPoetrySlam #Enneagram3  

We return to the podcast world today in a new series. The topic is the Deceitfulness of Good. We’re approaching this subject from multiple perspectives. Denée will be coming form the 9 perspectives of the Enneagram and Doug will be coming from theology and world religion using the Spiral. The human being is so complex in our make up. We are the sum total of many different elements and life conditions. All of us experience transformation in some way every day of our lives. The past year has been challenging on many different levels. We will discuss the global human longing for moving from chaos to unity. All of our tools for transformation must include our individual and personal growth as well as our growth in relationships, groups and collectives. The more tools we have the more likely we can experience positive transformation no matter what challenges present themselves. #Enneagram #SpiralDynamics #Integral #UnityConsciousness #Transreligious #Spirituality #SpiritualButNotReligious #universalidentity #UniversalHumanity #Transformation

Courage is knowing it might hurt and doing it anyway. Stupidity is the same. And that’s why life is hard. When we are younger and trying to figure out how to….. *Survive in the world *Find our voice in the world *Learn what love is *Discover our place in the collectives in which we live….we test what parts of the expressions of our personality work and don’t work. It’s a subconscious action that starts in early childhood. *I cry…I get fed. *I perform…I get applause. *I give you my toys…you give me love. *I don’t question your authority….you give me security.

I think we can all agree that our words matter. They can harm or help. They can inspire or destroy. What you say today isn’t confined to this moment in time. We may not be Instagram Influencers but we are absolutely influencing more than we realize. I referenced my latest blog post and you can read it here: The Accidental Mentor I also quoted Kaylee Friedman, M.A., LAC  IG @Kayleerosetherapy #Enneagram, #Influencer, #InstagramInfluencer #SelfDevelopment, #Therapy, #Healers, #Psychotherapy, #Developmental, #EnneagramCoach, #EnneagramTeacher

I think the Universe told me to take a time out or, as my granddaughter once said, "I'm just going to sit in this chair and think about it." She was three and who knows what she needed to sit and think about but for a lot of us...we had a lot to think about during this long, long year of the Pandemic. I could not bring myself to do much podcasting until now. It's time to get back to doing what I love and I love podcasting! But I love a lot of things and another one of them is writing so let me share a story that I call "And The Winner Is". In this episode I mention two amazing people who I've come to adore and admire. You can find out more about their work here: The Enneagram Workshop - Vanessa Fernandez Morgan Harper Nichols You can find both on Instagram and Facebook as well.

We are excited to share this information about the upcoming November meeting of the Georgia Chapter of the International Enneagram Association. While we miss the personal fellowship we are excited to be able to come together via Zoom. Registration is open to everyone! If you are a member of the Georgia Chapter there is no registration fee and if you are not a member it's only $10.00 . You can register: IEA Georgia Registration Page "Spiral Dynamics and the Enneagram are two distinct models that integrate in a unique way. Spiral Dynamics is a system describing the function and structure of various cultural worldviews. It gives valuable insight into understanding the dynamics in seemingly divisive perspectives. The Enneagram of Personality offers unique insight into the dynamics of the relationships we value with others by exploring our own individual perspectives. Common to both of these systems is the emphasis on wholeness and integrating overlooked components to our experience individually and collectively. We expect this program to inform growth in ways that enhance our current practices and expand the applications of these practices into the various and distinct groups that compose our culture. By examining the type of organization and the values that distinguish them, we may understand our personal alignment with and our role within these organizations. This understanding contributes to the betterment of the collective from a place of personal strength and development. Knowing our orientation to what is around us, allows us to contribute personally to real change in the collective daily contexts in which we contribute.”

We've all heard the call to action..."Check on your strong friends" and while that is an absolutely great thing to do, today I'd like to encourage you to check on all your friends. And not just friends you hang out with but maybe even people you follow on social media. We can be each other's life support even if we don't even get to spend a day together in person. We ARE connected. But we are hurting...every single one of us at some point are hurting and struggling. Your genuine message - just a text or a DM or an actual phone call can make the all the difference. Don't let the face fool you....we all cry! And that's a good thing! Let's stop pretending we have it all together and actually PULL together! In a time where we are drowning in negativity, anger and division, your word of kindness can be someone's Life Support.  #Enneagram #Enneagrampodcast #Enneagram1 #Enneagram2 #Enneagram3 #Enneagram4 #Enneagram5 #Enneagram6 #Enneagram7 #Enneagram8 #Enneagram9 #Kindnessmatters #Checkonyourstrongfriends #Crying

Jillian Henson Gilliam, Certified Enneagram Professional and Reiki Master is more than just a fellow Enneagram enthusiast. She’s my friend. I mean that but the truth is, if you ever meet Jillian then you too will immediately feel like you’re her friend. This is one of the most beautiful aspects of an Ennneagram Type 2…the gift of opening their heart and welcoming people right in. Many times Type 2s are referred to as “The Giver” and that was so evident when we share the story of Jillian giving me a bracelet that says "Chose Joy". From her story of adoption to starting a business in the middle of a pandemic to revealing to me in the middle of our conversation that she was diagnosed with Covid19, this conversation was 100% from the heart which isn’t surprising since Type 2s sit right in the middle of the Heart Triad. Type 2s are so ‘other focused’ that they can posses, as Jillian calls it, “overactive relational thinking.’ “Covid forced me to pay attention to myself”, she said. Even though she was in total quarantine for 3 weeks she found a way to connect with and give encouragement to her neighborhood through window art that she created with her son. As neighbors walked past her house they could see signs they made that said things like… ”We can do hard things” and “Hope” is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all.” ~Emily Dickinson To WATCH this on YouTube visit the LoveThyNumber Channel You can connect with Jillian at: EnneagramAtlanta Website Facebook Instagram Colorstreet The cards referenced in this podcast are from LovePoweredCo. #Enneagram #Enneagram2 #Covid19 #Adoption #AdoptionStory #Reiki #EnneagramTeacher #EnneagramAtlanta

Sarah Paulk is a journalist, writer, author, friend, cousin, wife, mom and Enneagram 6 and that's just a glimpse into who she truly is! Each descriptor is simply an aspect of Sarah because, as we all know, we are more than the sum of our parts. In this episode Sarah shares how she came to discover she is an Enneagram type 6 but originally thought she was a type 1. She reminds us why just taking a test can lead you to the wrong answer! She explains how understanding the uniqueness of this gift serves all aspects of her life and what actions she took with the unexpected turn of events in 2020 including Covid19. Sarah says, "my husband, Brock, is an Enneagram Type 1 and he wants to do the pandemic right. I’m a 6 and I’m fearful of the consequences of doing it wrong." Ahhh - and that's why people's behavior may look the same at times but the motives are completely different! Want to WATCH this conversation? See it HERE on YouTube! :-) Read Sarah's article on "The Enneagram at Work" in Success magazine! For more information on Sarah's work visit her website: Sarah Paulk Connect on Facebook Connect on InstaGram: @SarahPaulk

Has knowing the Enneagram brought out the AHA moments of how you are facing Covid quarantine? Emily Wingfield shares observations from the viewpoint of an Enneagram Type 9 regarding personal growth and specifically how she has been able to navigate the new and uncertain waters of 2020 and the Covid pandemic. Emily is a certified Enneagram teacher serving the Atlanta, Georgia area. *Going Deeper With the Enneagram: Where Real Change Can Happen* Saturday, Oct. 24 11:30am-4:30pm Over Zoom Register HERE IEA Georgia Member - $79 Emily's Contact info: Website: Enneagramwithemily.com/ Instagram: Enneagramwithemily Facebook: EnneagramWithEmily #Enneagram #Enneagram9 #Covid #Pandemic2020 #Enneagrampodcast #Enneagramteacher #IEAGeorgia #RussHudson

Nancy Bartelt shares her love of children, teaching, her degree in music therapy and her love and her work with Enneagram in her recent online presentation of “Back to School with Help from the Enneagram”. Nancy says, “The world has been an unknown zone since March and that has taken a toll on everyone. With all the uncertainty, isolation and loss of a few things we did have control over, and with no clear end in sight to all of this, no one really knows what to expect in these crazier than usual school days.” If you are parent, teacher, homeschooler or anyone who has opportunity to encourage kids, Nancy shares practical habits for meeting our children where they are, and helping us keep our own ‘junk’ out of the way as we serve our kids. If you’d like to download a copy of Nancy’s workbook that we discussed in this podcast you can click here: Back To School With Help From The Enneagram *To watch the VIDEO of this conversation Follow on the LoveThyNumber YouTube Channel.* Nancy's contact info: Website: http://uncommoninsightcoach.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/uncommoninsight Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/uncommon.insight/

Jeannie and her teaching partner, Mary Wright, are passionate about helping parents use the Enneagram to parent from a place of self awareness.  They offer workshops and will soon offer parenting groups to resource and support all types in bringing the best of who they are in parenting their children.    Jeannie has a degree in psychology from Azusa Pacific University which she used to run life skills groups for middle and high school aged youth. She has been trained as a teacher in the Enneagram through The Narrative Tradition school. As well as studying in person with Russ Hudson, and online coursework  with the Chestnut Paes Enneagram Academy.    Jeannie's Contact info: Enneagramoms.com Hello@enneagramoms.com @enneagramoms on Instagram   #Enneagram #Enneagrampodcast #Enneagramandparenting #enneagramparents #enneagramparenting #EnneagramNarrativeTradition #ChestnutPaesAcademy #Enneagram1 #Enneagram2 #Enneagram3 #Enneagram4 #Enneagram5 #Enneagram6 #Enneagram7 #Enneagram8 #Enneagram9  

My word for 2020 is Quicksand. I feel like I’ve been stuck and just trying to keep my head above the muck and breath while simultaneously struggling to get out and RUN away. But am I really stuck? An Enneagram Type 7’s Basic fear is of being TRAPPED. Granted this usually refers to being trapped in emotional pain but that feeling of NO WAY OUT can cause me to RUN or shut down. And when a 7 shuts down it can be scary. So, since I’ve had NOTHING BUT TIME I’ve done a lot of thinking. Am I really STUCK or have I been given an opportunity to reconsider where I want to go. Funny thing about Quick Sand - HOLD ON TO YOUR SCIENCE HATS because this is going to blow your mind - According to a study published in the current issue of the journal Nature, it is impossible for a person immersed in quicksand to be drawn completely under. The fact is, humans float in the stuff. WHAT?? YES - you heard correctly - If you just relax, your body will float in it because your body is less dense than the quicksand!!! It’s hard to imagine that this time of being quarantined and cut off from the usual patterns of living is a GIFT if we chose to see it that way. I’m asking myself…."Am I trapped?" Is that true? Or am I being given the opportunity to be set FREE? To get UNSTUCK. Workout reference on Instagram with Megan Trainor at BodyByTrainor #Enneagram, #Enneagram3, #Enneagram7, #Enneagram8, #Covid19, #Coronavirus, #Pandemic, #Quicksand, #SocialDistancing

At the time of this podcast release we are experiencing a global pandemic with the Corona Virus but Catherine and I recorded weeks before any of us knew what was happening. Now, the term 'social distancing' has become a part of our daily vocabulary. Daily news briefings of the number of cases worldwide and the number of deaths has left many paralyzed by the unknown. Fear is evident on social media. Could Gratitude have any place in our minds today? I say YES... now is precisely the time for it!  Literature on the neuroscience of happiness and positive neuroplasticity frequently cite the importance of adopting a gratitude practice as a fundamental tool to impact mood, improve wellbeing, and reverse the brains negativity bias.  Catherine shrares, "My connection to Gratitude as a spiritual practice is my passion and what I love to guide and teach people. Knowing what I know now about the enneagram, I'm not surprised that it's had such an impact on me as a practice, as it's of course the antidote to envy and focusing on whats missing!!  Gratitude is now such a big part of my life that I coach people to bring it into their lives and I work part-time as a Gratitude Consultant, as well as a Reiki Master and Intuitive Counsellor. Last year I was lucky enough to present my research at the Science and Non-Duality Conference in California." **See Attached Poster from that presentation.** Catherine can be found at: www.catherinerobertson.org Instagram: @60daygratitudechallengeFacebook: Catherine Robertson - Reiki Practitioner  

Ashlee Sikorski is an ICF Certified Team Development Coach working with organizations to boost productivity and build an advantageous team culture. She is also the founder of the Nine Shapes Project which aims to bring more curious conversations around the Enneagram to the world.  She is such a great example of how we can easily mistype through a one-time, online test. About a year after taking an Enneagram online test she began a more thorough study, going a little deeper, reading more thorough descriptions of the types. When she read the description of her true type (type 4) she literally began crying. "I felt known", she said.  Her then boyfriend (now husband) identified as a type 5. Ashlee realized and said, "the Enneagram put language around these two temperaments in relationship." Ashlee shares how the idea for Nine Shapes came to be and how the cliché art associated with Enneagram types lead her to realize that those typical symbols are within all of us. We all cry - which might be associated with a type 4. We all like to win - not just type 3. Everyone likes to have fun - not just the type 7! So she and friend, Leah Lavelle created the beautiful shapes which lead to the idea for the Conversational Card called "Nine Shapes".  Finally, Ashlee shares her work with "The Adoption Triad" with the non-profit, Kindred and Company which create adoption books and create safe spaces for the adoption triad which is comprised of the birth mom, the adoptee, and the adoptive parent. For more information visit Kindred and Company.  Ashlee can be found at: Instagram @a.s.coachingFacebook @a.s.coachingnineshapes.co  #Enneagram #Enneagram4 #Enneagram5 #Enneagram1 #Enneagram2 #Enneagram3 #Enneagram6 #Enneagram7 #Enneagram8 #Enneagram9 #EnneagramCoach #NineShapes #AdoptionTriad #AskQuestions #CuriousConversations

As Doug and I wrap up this section we get more into our personal stories and how those 'unworkable' moments forced us to question our long standing patterns of  behavior, reactions, defenses, and beliefs. No growth comes without challenge, and these are the times when descending into lower levels of health can occur without observing and questioning. It's our awareness that gives us the choice to withdraw the boundaries or expand them opening us to know a deeper love and freedom. The journey of growth that is one that we must take on our own but not alone. Growth in any relationship requires communication, and if we want to grow together we must communicate. As Gordon Lightfoot bemoaned in his song from 1970 entitled, "If You Could Read My Mind", 'what a tale my thoughts could tell'. Well guess what? No one is a mind reader. We must open the lines of communication. The Enneagram and Spiral Dynamics are both beautiful maps of self discovery. As much as we know what they have done for our lives, those of us who have set out on this journey, and as much as we would love to share this understanding with everyone we know at the end of the day do we want people to know the Enneagram or the Spiral or do we want them to know they’re loved? I hope we all use this knowledge to share more love in this world.

A person's Level of Development (the SPIRAL) is the framework with which they understand the world. Their Level of Health within their Enneagram Type is the way in which they are present within their WORLDVIEW. **One’s level of Development does not equate with one’s level of Health - in other words - you can be at any level on the Spiral and be healthy or unhealthy in your Enneagram type. Your NUMBER doesn’t change but your worldview can.**! The manifestation of our type is our desire to be loved. As the Spiral shows, it’s our awareness that brings about EXPANSION of consciousness and becomes a more inclusive and loving way of seeing each other and ourselves. Within the Enneagram we see our personal development through the Levels of Health. As it is with our evolution in our worldview, it is with our own personal evolution. While we move up in our levels of health through life challenges, growing in awareness, questioning old boundaries and beliefs and behaviors, we can also regress at times. We are fluid but the further UP we go the easier it is to recognize the ways we’ve fallen into old patterns of behavior. At our must fundamental (I might say Archaic) level we have what we call  our Superego Message. This is all about our instinctual need for Survival or for LOVE. "...if we listen more closely, we may see that they are not only arbitrary and subjective but also coercive or damaging. They present us with increasingly impossible standards to live up to, for which we always pay a heavy price. If we feel anxious, depressed, lost, hopeless, fearful, wretched or weak, we can be sure that our superego is on duty.” (Riso and Hudson, The Wisdom of the Enneagram) “I AM LOVED if.....” Type 1: I am Loved if I am good and do what is right. Type 2: I am Loved if I am loving and close to others. Type 3: I am loved if I am successful and others think well of me. Type 4: I am loved if I feel something and am true to myself. Type 5: I am loved if I know and have mastered something. Type 6: I am loved if I am responsible and do what’s expected. Type 7: I am loved if I am happy and get what I need. Type 8: I am loved if I am strong and in control of the situation. Type 9: I am loved if I am at peace and those around me are okay. These are our EGO’s boundaries that we attach to that we believe ensures LOVE and SECURITY. Isn’t that what a boundary is for anyway - to protect? And so in lower levels of health we defend that boundary like a WARRIOR so we don’t set our self up for destruction. This is the EGO’s job - to make sure we are not destroyed. As we encounter resistance in our habitual patterns of old behaviors we begin to ask..."can I be loved if____?" Type 1: Can I be loved if I make a mistake? Type 3: Can I be loved if people don't see me as successful? Type 7: Can I be loved if I'm not joyful...or even depressed? *View PDF of The Levels of Development (Health) in our Enneagram Type

This is part 1 of a 3-part series which is a recording of a presentation Doug and I did for the Georgia Chapter of the International Enneagram Association. Doug and I knew early in our blended family relationship that we needed TOOLS to build this new family. So we chose to go to a therapist who could help us — not to give us all the answers for every situation that might arise but to give us the tools to face the inevitable changes that would happen — or a map that would help us see “YOU ARE HERE”. But growth requires change. So what we want to talk about are the maps we can use as tools that help us understand how and why we evolve and how to begin being aware of what happens when these life changes occur. Spiral Dynamics deals with the evolution of the collective consciousness while the Enneagram deals with the individual. These would be Levels of Development (Spiral) and Levels of Health (Enneagram). The evolutionary trajectory is Ego-Centro to Ethno-Centric to World-Centric. We become more inclusive. More boundaries are removed in relation to Human Value and Identity. It is only in looking back can we see how the journey of human consciousness has evolved. And so, we can reflect on the ways each level has contributed to our health and what has not. In this way we can transcend each level of development while including the healthy aspects. Transcend and include. *View the .pdf for more info on Spiral Dynamics

One of the challenges of being an Enneagram type 7 is the desire to act on all the ideas we have bombarding our minds and trust me, as a type 7 myself, they just keep coming! Part of the growth process of this type, as Jaime says, is realizing we don't have to act on every idea and it's ok to start something and then move on. This is  part of the growth path of us all but understanding the way our minds work and then accepting that this is how we are wired is a necessary step. As Jaime says, "I'm OK with the way I am," but learning to differentiate the matters of true urgency versus those new ideas that are actually just distractions to keep us from completing the tasks at hand is what this is all about. This is where the use of healthy boundaries helps us thrive within our type. Jaime is a beautiful example how important self care is. As a working mom, wife, MBA, Yogi and Enneagram 7 life demands finding balance and one of the ways she's done so is through yoga. Her desire is to inspire others to Practice Joy! Follow Jaime on InstaGram: @practice.joy Website: Practice Joy

Samantha Mackay is a qualified coach, certified Personality Hacker profiler, runs her own training business, and calls New Zealand home after having lived, worked, and traveled around the world. Her personal journey and search to answers from 10 years of chronic ill health, working her way out of it and wanting to share her extensive knowledge to help others be healthy in all aspects of their being, has lead her to incorporate the many frameworks she has learned into an integrative approach to Personal Development and Self-Leadership in her company, More Human.  She says, “We all need coping mechanisms. How can we change an unhealthy one for a healthy one?” For more information about the Emotion Code she references in our conversation please visit the website below: Emotion Code Follow Samantha on LinkedIn

I started this podcast, Love Thy Number, to help us truly embrace the gift of who we are and, specifically, our Enneagram number. But what are the other numbers that have such a hold on our lives? What numbers do we attach to that either validate us or bring us anxiety?   Is it the number on the scales?   Our age?   The size of our paycheck?   The number of followers on social media?   How many likes?   Do you believe that your one life, your one story has the ability to affect generations to come?   I know that when I had Samantha as a guest on this podcast she shared her story of sexual abuse and through her honesty and vulnerability and being brave enough to share her journey of breaking the cycle of abuse, another woman heard her and reached out to her for help. That is the power of ONE!   I hope you understand the power your life and your love has to affect the world and that you truly get to know the joy of who you are by loving your number… whatever that number may be.

I’m so excited to have Matt Thompson on this episode. Matt works behind the scenes to bring these podcasts to life! He’s also created all the beautiful graphics and web design for both ‘Love Thy Number’ and ‘Presence’ and so much more, but most of all… he’s a great friend!  Matt is married to the love of his life (his exact words!), Brenda, and together they have 2 amazing kiddos, Madison (14) and Mason who’s 11. He works in operations and does creative work for a couple of nonprofit, progressive spiritual organizations — Vinings Lake and Presence International. Matt was introduced to the Enneagram through a video learning course at work. “I was convinced at first that I was an Enneagram 1 because I’ve identified for many years as a perfectionist to a fault. But the more I dug in the more obvious it was to me that perfectionism manifests itself in my thoughts and behaviors but it’s not what’s at my core. At my core is this very strong magnetism for peace.” Matt’s wife, Brenda, is an Enneagram 1. He says this in their relationship they both can have a drive for excellence and often see things the very same way. Looking back he says he can see how their types not only brought them together but also help keep them balanced and in check. “I tend to help calm her and soften her edginess. And she challenges my status quo and passivity. I am there for her in quiet, reassuring ways when she’s spent herself — she's tired and just needs a calming presence. And her inner strength and confidence motivates me and reminds me of my significance and that I’m capable of more than I give myself credit for.”  Matt has spent the past 14 years working in a church. In that time the leadership, beliefs, and direction of the church he works for has evolved and changed significantly. “It’s extremely uncommon for someone to remain a part of a spiritual organization as it goes through shifts and changes in leadership and direction. Yet somehow I’m still there.  Knowing what I know now about my personality through the enneagram, it makes total sense to me now why I was able to weather those changes. The peacemaker in me was subconsciously working as a transition agent. Rather than make a clean break because I was intolerant of a new thing, I fought to maintain stability and keep the thing alive. That’s a healthy way to look at it. On the unhealthy side, as a 9 I also have to acknowledge that I can also fight just as hard simply to maintain status quo — to ensure safety, protect my job, and prevent change which can sometimes be scary for a 9 because it threatens our foundation.” Keeping the peace is more than a slogan… it’s a gift of a healthy Enneagram 9.  Follow Matt on Instagram:  @matt__thompson

Alia Kache, a New York based dancer, choreographer, and educator, was born in Chattanooga, TN and attended a performing arts school beginning in the 6th grade. She soon earned a scholarship to the Chattanooga Ballet where she trained while also taking classes at school.  After high school she began training with world renowned dance company, Alvin Ailey. Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre is primarily an African-American modern dance company based in New York, New York and founded in 1958. After graduating from the Ailey/Fordham B.F.A. program in 2004, she subsequently joined Ailey II and later became rehearsal director. As an Enneagram Type 1, her attention to detail has been such a gift in her career. But, as we’ve heard from other type 1s, that ‘inner critic' –that voice in the head that constantly challenges you to do better – can make or break you. She refers to that voice as an ‘unwelcome roommate’. Alia says, “at times it’s helpful but only because I’m stubborn!" I think she sums it up perfectly when she says, “If I can rally myself to spite myself, I more than persevere!” Alia has appeared in Laurie Simon’s Music of Regret – Act III (pocket watch), Radio City Christmas Spectacular 75th Anniversary DVD, and Cordoniu Navidad 2007 (Barcelona, Spain). She was a featured dancer in Big League Theatricals’ Aida and performed with Disney’s The Lion King (Gazelle Tour). Alia performed in 2019 on Broadway in The Lion King and will be performing with the Lion King touring company beginning in March, 2020. She has recently choreographed for the Memphis Ballet and for Ailey II. She is currently choreographing a duet for Houston Contemporary based on the Inner Critic of an Enneagram Type 1 that is entitled “One”. This is a 5-minute contemporary dance piece that follows two dancers as they duel (complete with fencing inspired costumes and footwork) to determine who will persevere. Oh, and I get to call her my daughter-in-law.  For more information visit Alia’s website : AliaKache.com Follow her on Instagram at: @luvlicap

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what my GOAL is for this podcast. I mean, that’s probably something  someone gifted with amazing organizational skills would have mapped out before even starting a podcast. I, however, am not that person. What I DO BELIEVE I’m good at is loving people and finding joy in the stories of our lives. So while I am as passionate about the Enneagram as I ever was… even more so as I continue to learn. But I’d like to take this podcast in a different direction. There are so many wonderful resources for LEARNING the Enneagram and I encourage you to find the ones that help you grow. I’m a BIG believer in being BOLD with your dreams! In fact, I ended all my emails for years and years with the quote from Marianne Williamson - “Our greatest fear is NOT that we are inadequate but that we are powerful beyond measure”. SO - I’m putting this right out into the Universe and saying - I want this podcast to be the MOTH of the Enneagram conversation. I also hope you know what the MOTH is - STORIES. Real Life Stories! So let me close this last episode of 2019 with the rest of the quote from Marianne Williamson: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” We all have a story - we just need to believe that people NEED to hear it! Do you have a story you’d like to share? Then let’s talk! If you'd like to share your story please email me at: Lovethynumber@Presence.tv You can also message me through Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/love_thy_number/

Let's talk about the movies! Specifically, the cult classic, Napoleon Dynamite, and my favorite character, Uncle Rico. It’s hard when you believe life would have worked out perfectly ‘if only’. When you believe that had you not made that one poor choice or dropped that football pass you would have set your life on a path to everlasting happiness. And so, we live with the lie that we were denied all the privileges of a ‘good life’ because we already set our entire course with that moment in our past. What I love about the Enneagram is that it provides a map that shows YOU ARE HERE if you are willing to look. Like going to the doctor for a check up.  However, as with all maps of personal development, it’s difficult to see when you are trapped in a lower level of consciousness. It’s really only when you move beyond your current view (including world views as well as the boundary you have settled into in your personal life). BUT - you can see where your thinking has evolved FROM. You can look at a tool like the Enneagram or Spiral Dynamics and with certainty understand how your thinking has evolved from your past. If you are familiar with the biblical narrative you might remember Paul saying, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things." It’s clear that we can see how we have grown in our thinking from childhood. But once we reach adulthood it becomes less obvious UNTIL we become intentional about our desire to change our thoughts and thought patterns. Beyond type, beyond stances, beyond instincts is the vital work of honestly looking at where you are in health. The Enneagram presents 9 levels of development broken up into three sections: Unhealthy, Average, and Healthy. It’s amazing to look at these and recognize where you were in your teens or 20’s. Then, if you’ve continued to evolve to look and be grateful if you can see that you’ve crossed a barrier and moved into a healthier level. But you’ll also be able to see where you are NOT. This is your call to action. It’s up to us to look at how we can see where we have come from and where we are NOT YET and deduce where we are now. It’s only when you understand WHERE YOU ARE that you can begin to take next steps to move into healthier levels of awareness and functioning. Reference: The Wisdom Of The Enneagram, Riso and Hudson

The Work of Byron Katie is a way of identifying and questioning any stressful thought. It consists of four questions and a turn around. Question 1: Is it true? Question 2: Can you absolutely know it's true? Question 3: How do you react — what happens — when you believe that thought? Question 4: Who would you be without the thought? Turn the Thought Around For the sake of this conversation as it relates to the Enneagram I encourage each of us to question our thoughts about ourselves and then turn the thought around. Write down a statement you believe about yourself in regards to your Enneagram type. For example, as a type 7 I might write, “I love that I am able to FIND the positive in a situation." The turnaround might look like, “I love that I don't HIDE from negative situations." In addressing the turnaround we can begin to look at ways we avoid certain thoughts and beliefs. If, as a type 7, I am constantly looking for the positive in a situation perhaps it's because I'm trying to avoid what I find painful.  While this is a different approach to The Work of Byron Katie, it is a way to begin questioning long-held beliefs about ourselves and others.  Resources:

Instead of focusing on the particular Enneagram types I want to talk a little about the Lower Level of all of numbers. What happens when we are trapped in habitual patterns of thinking and even trauma that has never been dealt with? Should we start with a song or two? Oh the weather outside is frightful but ….that’s NOTHING compared to the STORM that’s happening inside!! Or….Oh there’s no place like Home for the Holidays….WHERE EVERYONE IS ON EDGE! I attended a class last week that was all about SURVIVING the Holidays with the Enneagram. Why do you think there’s so much focus on the potential disaster of family gatherings? Raise your hand if you have family member that just has a way of hitting a nerve every time they open their mouth! Perhaps your father-in-law says, "I like what you’ve done with the house. Too bad you didn’t have time to do the yard.” Or your sister says, "It’s probably good that you don’t worry about keeping the house clean with all of these children." These are obviously not anywhere close to some of the things that can be said when people are carrying the pain of past experience that has, perhaps, affected the family on a much deeper level.  But the concept is the same. Eckhart Tolle refers to THE PAIN BODY which is an accumulation of EMOTIONAL PAIN in the mind and body. For the sake of THIS conversation we’re going to focus on someone else’s pain body but this absolutely applies to all of us. But let’s assume YOU are fully conscious and operating at your highest level of healthy awareness. What happens when you encounter someone with an active Pain Body? This accumulated pain is a negative energy field that occupies one's body and mind. If you look on it as an invisible entity in its own right, you are getting quite close to the truth. It’s the emotional pain-body. It has two modes of being: dormant and active. A pain-body may be dormant 90 percent of the time; in a deeply unhappy person, though, it may be active up to 100 percent of the time. Some people live almost entirely through their pain-body, while others may experience it only in certain situations, such as intimate relationships, or situations linked with past loss or abandonment, physical or emotional hurt, and so on. Anything can trigger it, particularly if it resonates with a pain pattern from your past.  This is why family gatherings are breeding grounds for pain body reactions. But it only takes ONE PERSON being aware to stop a chain reaction. You, yourself, may feel the emotion of past hurt but in that moment of awareness you can decide to step away from the drama. Maybe you literally step away or simply DO NOT RESPOND. The pain-body wants to survive, just like every other entity in existence, and it can only survive if it is fed. It will feed on any experience that resonates with its own kind of energy, anything that creates further pain in whatever form: anger, destructiveness, hatred, grief, emotional drama, violence, and even illness. So the pain-body, when it has taken over, will create a situation that reflects back its own energy frequency for it to feed on. Pain can only feed on pain. Pain cannot feed on joy. It finds it quite indigestible. Three words that will help when a Pain Body shows up.....Do Not Engage.  Resource: Eckhart Tolle

In Enneagram conversations we talk a lot about the ego but what if you have an alter-ego? I have one! The definition of alter ego says, ”a person's secondary or alternative personality.” Now let me be clear, I didn’t expose my hidden identity on a regular day. But today, I'd like you to meet her. YES... she's on the podcast! So, who is she? Well, I called her Miss Peach. My kids called her their worst nightmare! My husband wasn't sure who he had actually married when he first met her. She usually wore a black lace dress, black cowboy boots, a black feather boa, black sunglasses that were covered on the edges with the gaudiest rhinestones you ever saw. Oh… and white tennis shoes that were also bedazzled like the sunglasses. Sometimes I had a red wig to top off the fabulousness but even without it, I could transform into this alternate personality with just a few sparkly accoutrements... as long as I was wearing the sunglasses. There is a big difference in who we feel the need to portray and who we are healthiest level - where we transcend the EGO identity and discover the freedom of our true selves. EGO identification can be described as “taking on a role so completely that we lose contact with who we are inside.”  So let’s talk about the difference between taking on the identity of a ROLE versus being who you truly are at your core. To say it simply, it's  DOING vs BEING. 

How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? One…but the light bulb really has to want to change. **Crickets chirping** HA! I’m making a ridiculous confession. I let a light bulb in my closet stay burnt out for about a year before I decided enough was enough. A year. I simply adjusted my eye sight and fumbled around when necessary. What I discovered when I finally changed that bulb was…awful and wonderful.  How long should we walk around in the darkness, avoiding the inevitable, before we take action?  I shared a piece of an article a beautiful friend wrote in which I was honored with one of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received. I’m including it here because it helped me understand that when we are intentional about giving ourselves permission to grown (aka change) others are noticing - even when you think they aren’t. And it gives them permission to do the same. The article was entitled “The Ten Best People I Know". I was #7… and it was life-changing! The people who are willing to have their minds changed Times change. People change (now I have Exposé stuck in my head). We evolve but all too often beliefs and opinions stay mired in the past. And there can be a lot of pressure to keep them there, which is why I so admire the people who are strong enough to unstick themselves. People who consciously choose their beliefs after examining several sides of an issue, even if it means saying they were wrong... well those are admirable folk. Rare and admirable. This one is for Denée. If you’d like to read the entire article - here ya go! 

"If forced to choose which do you prefer?" is how it all started. Coconut cream pie or chocolate pie? Skittles or Hershey’s with almonds? Chocolate donuts or apple fritters? Funny how a simple conversation can reveal so much about your spouse. It was hilarious because even with these simple questions I became incensed at one of my husband's answers and asked "HOW COULD YOU CHOOSE SKITTLES over anything?" They’re a waste of sugar! It was HIS choice and HIS preference, and I challenged it based on what I like. These are interesting things to know about your spouse - not what I’d call ‘relationship breakers’ but it could LEAD to it if we didn’t take the time to actually find out what the other likes.  But what about conversations that address what’s going on internally? Even after 22 years together we have discovered so much about each other that we would NOT have known to ask if it weren’t for the Enneagram because the Enneagram brought into our conversations an awareness of our FEARS AND MOTIVATIONS behind our choices.  What can become a relationship breaker is when we become incensed at someone else's feelings insisting they 'shouldn't' feel that way, becoming dismissive of them.  What if we actually became intentional about asking questions that open up a conversation that goes a little deeper? We often assume we know our spouses inside and out and then are shocked when confronted with a reaction or feeling we've never seen before. It’s not about a right or wrong answer (I mean, unless it’s SKITTLES). It’s about connecting on a deeper level and understanding what we value and why…what we fear and why…what motivates us and why.  The Couple's Enneagram Questionnaire

We talk a lot about identity in regards to the Enneagram. We constantly say we are NOT our type or our number.  I recently talked to a friend who has just begun peeking at the Enneagram, and she said, “I see a little of myself in all the numbers.” I said ABSOLUTELY. That’s how we should approach this journey!  BUT the truth is - there is a place we feel more connected. It’s our ‘home base’ - where we have our roots. I was born in Texas, so that makes me a TEXAN even though I moved away from Texas at 19 and have lived in Georgia much longer than I lived in Texas. In fact, if someone asks me where I’m from, I say, “Georgia.”   There are a lot of labels we identify with through and through but we know we are actually a compilation of all these things. I’ve been influenced by so many people and places as everyone has. This is why NO ONE is just their Enneagram type. Nature and nurture create who we are, and we continue to evolve to where we actually can’t identify with our own type in lower stages of development.  So while I find my roots in Type 7 I have truly found the beauty of being in the presence of all the other types, learning how our differences create an amazing landscape - like this planet we live on where the diversity is almost indescribable. So if you want to feel like a world traveler, get to know your family and your friends. I mean truly know them. Ask them to tell you their stories - then listen. You just might discover, like Maya Angelou says in her poem 'Human Family', "We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike."

Has anyone ever said to you…’You’re too much”? Your thoughts are ‘too much’. Your feelings are ‘too much’. Have you ever felt blinded by someone’s ‘light’ such as their emotions or their intellect? In part 1 of this conversation Kevin mentioned that his emotions get caught in his head so Seth asks Kevin to explain that. He said, “When I shove my emotions somewhere else they show up elsewhere as in pain in the body. So I go back to try and find what I didn’t 'Feel' when I had that emotion because instead of feeling the emotion, I replaced that feeling with thoughts. I was able to think myself into a corner that felt safe and logical.” But has silence ever been ‘too much’? It has been for me! If you were a fan of the old Batman show you’ll remember each week they ended the show with “Don’t touch that dial”. So I’m saying ‘don’t touch that dial’ at the end of this podcast when we sit in a moment of silence. The conclusion is worth the wait!  Resource Info: I met Seth and Kevin in a professional development course for Certification in Enneagram Applications through Enneagram Georgia facilitated by Nan Henson and Lynda Roberts, Riso-Hudson certified teachers and authorized professionals.  Seth Creekmore: “Creekmore is a cinematic folk artist creating moments to experience the soul. He fancies himself an epicure of all things good and finds himself at home either in a coffee shop or in the middle of a forest always attempting to marry the savage and the suave.”   IG: @creekmoremusic Website: Creekmoremusic.com Kevin Smith: IG: @asilentthousand

In this conversation with Kevin Smith and Seth Creekmore, I was gifted with such insight into the way we embrace and avoid our emotions from our unique perspectives.  Each type process emotions and feelings differently. Kevin resonates with the type 5 and Seth with type 4. Type five process emotions from their head while type 4 from their heart. It has often been assumed that type 5s have no feelings which couldn't be further from the truth and is, incredibly hurtful. This is why this conversation with these two is so important. Lack of emotional expression on the surface can be a way to protect the depth of feelings within. Just because someone doesn't want you to see their feelings, don't assume they have none or that they're not very aware of them. On the other hand, type 4's have the ability to connect deeply with their own emotions as well as have a keen sensitivity to and an understanding of others' feelings.  As Seth points out, the emotions we choose to not acknowledge and deal with will come out in other ways. This gift allows 4s to help others who may not be in touch with their own to find the freedom to experience them. Resource Info: I met Seth and Kevin in a professional development course for Certification in Enneagram Applications through Enneagram Georgia facilitated by Nan Henson and Lynda Roberts, Riso-Hudson certified teachers and authorized professionals.  Seth Creekmore: “Creekmore is a cinematic folk artist creating moments to experience the soul. He fancies himself an epicure of all things good and finds himself at home either in a coffee shop or in the middle of a forest always attempting to marry the savage and the suave.”   IG: @creekmoremusic Website: Creekmoremusic.com Kevin Smith: IG: @asilentthousand

What did the brown cow say to the brown chicken? You'll have to listen for that answer but...this is one of my favorite podcasts ever! What a joy to be able to sit and chat with this amazing couple. Sammy identifies as an Enneagram type 7 and Thomas as a type 4. What's the difference between and Enneagram 4 and 7? That might be an obvious answer at first glance but those assumptions are often just that...assumptions. Are all 7s outgoing? Are all 4's withdrawn? The answer is - of course not. In fact, upon first meeting Thomas he disclosed that he was a type 4 and my first reaction was "How can that be? You're so outgoing and funny!"  Tommy and Sammie share the magic and mystery of this unique relationship combination and describe how each helps the other navigate the peaks and valleys of life and the broad range of emotions that arise in any marriage.  As the parents of five children ranging in age from 6-17 they firmly agree that the Enneagram has given language to the way each child operates which has truly brought a new way of communicating.    Resource: The Enneagram Institute - Relationship between 4's and 7's