Podcasts about co commitment

“The whole sense though, of the Upper Limit Problem, is instead of feeling good and then feeling bad, which is how we think it's supposed to work. You know, you feel bad, you feel good, and then you forget to go to your yoga class and then you start eating things that aren't good for you. And pretty soon, you know, you're off binging and you know, that's over. And in partnership, I'd say, The most common Upper Limit Problem is to criticize the other. Criticizing also gets over into contempt. So when your partner expands and you don't support that expansion, but you criticize them and then they come down again or you forget an agreement. I think those are the two most common is that people don't do what they say they're going to do and they get into criticizing. And we really have seen that criticizing blame and criticism are really relationship killers. But what's underneath that is our fear of expanding and our fear of going out into the unknown, because even the Upper Limit Problem, if you're expanding, you are going to go into the unknown over and over, and we can stay safe and miserable in our familiar patterns, of you'll eat too much, and I'll drink at night, and we won't challenge that in each other, and that way we'll coexist, and many relationships are that way.” So says Dr. Katie Hendricks, the co-founder of The Hendricks Institute and the co-author of 12 books, including the bestseller, Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment. Katie and her husband, Gay, have been leading seminars and workshops for individuals and couples for decades—moving them from their definition of co-dependence into co-commitment. We touch on it in our conversation, but their definition of co-dependence is the only one I've heard that makes sense to me as they suggest co-dependence at its simplest is when your behavior is determined by someone else's—when you are adjusting yourself around someone else in a way that is a disservice to the relationship. Instead, they argue for co-commitment, where everyone takes complete responsibility for their own actions and their own lives. They coach a lot of tools that I love to talk about on this podcast, including the Drama Triangle, and they also coined the concept of the Upper Limit Problem, which is our tendency—just when things are going really well–to self-sabotage. That's a big focus of our conversation today. MORE FROM KATIE HENDRICKS, PhD: Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment The Conscious Heart: Seven Soul-Choices that Create Your Relationship Destiny The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks, PhD The Hendricks Institute Foundation for Conscious Living Follow Katie & Gay on Instagram To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

在天秤季的末尾 步入十年婚姻之际 聊聊 如何在关系中 「觉知的爱」 守护婚姻的神圣性 平衡与整合 神圣阴性与阳性 ☯️ shownotes： · 接受狂风暴雨的洗礼与挑战，放下不再适合的契约与关系。 · 大部分女性不再需要婚姻契约来保证我们的基本生活与安全。 · 守护婚姻的神圣性与对彼此的承诺。 · 爱情是一个神秘事件。 · 基因组合，孕育创造出生命。 · 父母学会觉知的爱与觉知的孕育孩子。 · 觉知面对冲突，抵达一种真正的慈悲与智慧。 · 购买了人生第一本关于亲密关系的书：《Conscious Loving ：The Journey to Co-Commitment 》 · 转变互相依赖的模式，探索有个人探索空间的亲密关系。 · 从两人世界到三人世界，进入神圣家庭 - holy trinity。 · 打破爱与事业不可兼得的诅咒。 · 搭乘宇宙神秘之船，在意识海洋的推动下，进入新海域，面对新的挑战。 · 神圣阴性能量的崛起，唤醒神圣阳性能量的重新归位。 · 袒露伤痛，放下羞耻感、被拒绝的恐惧，活出更完整的自己。 · 真实与袒露需要勇气，勇气来自于心，心打开了，爱才能流动，真爱才得以发生。 · 与伴侣建立承诺与合作的关系，去共修与转化冲突。 · 关系中真正可以履行的承诺。 · 在亲密关系中，如果我们没有首先学会爱自己，我们其实是没有能力去爱别人的。 · 学会感受，深入的去感受。 · 提供安全的空间，去表达与释放情绪。 · 学会守护好边界感，辨识不属于自己的情绪。 · 为自己的情绪与体验负责，成为生活的创造者，和宇宙一起共创现实。 · 创造力的回归。 · 说出真相，表达真实的智慧。 · 进入一种更平衡、和平、有爱的、滋养的、正面的亲密关系。 · 我们都不完美，我们也都是无辜的。 · 守护彼此的内在小孩，为彼此建立安全的有爱的空间去表达与做自己。 · 在关系中整合神圣阴性与神圣阳性的力量。

Subscribe to access this episode: https://anchor.fm/jazmine-russell/subscribe There is no cap to the depth and intimacy of our friendships. Yet most of us never learn that we can have this kind of intimacy outside our romantic relationships. In today's episode, you'll hear a vulnerable, real life story of conflict and repair in my friendship with Caitlyn Lune, professional dominatrix and communication nerd, who I have learned so much from when it comes to healing attachment wounds and building trust in friendships. We also talk about:  Early childhood experiences impacting our attachment styles Bisexuality in female friendships Authentically relating  Undoing the mother wound and mother projections onto friendships How we can use boundaries to avoid intimacy Learning to tell the "microscopic truth" while undoing our stories and projections Commitment in both friendships and romantic relationships Caitlyn is a professional dominatrix, performer, and sacred touch provider in Portland, Oregon. Coming of age in the wildest city in the world, NYC, parties, kink, and psychedelia became part of her lifestyle with a true north on personal growth and radical self-expression. In 2016, she began throwing parties for swingers and sex curious to have a safe place to explore. Combining her fascination for the erotic with deep emotional embodiment practices, she pursued training in tantric teachings. Caitlyn loves the home she shares with two partners and is connected to broader community through the pulse of the life force that ties us all together.  Caity's Website : heiresstoeros.com Links:  Reclaiming All Parts of You: Healing Shame Workbook & Meditation :  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://witty-creator-9045.ck.page/e89cafda64⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Resources:  Conscious Loving - the Journey to Co-Commitment: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/235625.Conscious_Loving Disclaimer: The DEPTH Work Podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Information on this podcast in no way to be construed or substituted as psychological counseling, psychotherapy, mental health counseling, or any other type of therapy or medical advice.

Meet Michaela d'Artois: a writer, Certified Sex Coach & Sexologist specializing in intimacy, connection, and desire. After completing her BFA, Michaela spent over a decade as a journalist writing about the female experience for leading women's magazines while advocating for equality and sexual health resources for all.  Through her work as a Certified Sex Coach and trained Sexologist, specializing in a non-pathologizing approach to intimacy and sexuality, Michaela provides educational, actionable resources and practices to strengthen one's capacity for emotional and erotic intelligence. In this episode, we discuss: The definition of co-commitment vs. co-dependency  Tools for creating commitment and connection Co-commitment and creating space for an individual to thrive Helpful relationships vs. healthy relationships Creating intimacy when time with your partner is limited Building trust in a relationship Reconnecting after a period of disconnectedness Resolving conflicts in a relationship Knowing when it's time to end a relationship Soulmates and soul contracts Resources: Learn more about Michaela's work at Inner Eros Follow her on IG at @michaeladartois Get tickets to Tac-Tile Mountain's evening of connectivity on February 12th Conscious Loving, The Journey to Co-Commitment by Gay Hendricks Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft This episode is sponsored by Herbal Face Food: the most potent Anti-Aging, Multi-Correction, Anti-Viral skincare product on the market. Use the discount code: OUIWEGIRL for 20% off the Herbal Face Food collection and the code OUIWEGIRLCREAM for the newest product, the Cream. Want to chat about this episode? Text

Who are your relationship role models? Where do you go to see healthy love lived?   In this episode, you meet Gay & Katie Hendricks. Katie & Gay have been together for over 40 years. Their relationship is a living laboratory for conscious loving. Together they've written over 40 books, trained thousands of coaches, appeared on Oprah and hosted seminars around the globe.   After reading "The Big Leap" and "Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment." And seeing the couple speak at MindValley A-Fest, Christina knew she wanted a relationship grounded in similar values and growth. WeDeepen's vision is for all relationships to operate with integrity and elevated levels of communication as they exemplify.  Joined by Speaker & Coach Imari Tuakli, Christina and Imari explore Gay & Katie Hendricks's relationship, deeming them Relationship Role Models. Listen to study love. Learn how they met and what bonds them together in a healthy relationship.  Find out more about Gay & Katie Hendricks at hendricks.com. Track what Imari Tuakli is up to on IG at @freeimari.    More on WeDeepen & Christina Weber at wedeepen.com and @christinaweber. 

In this "meat and potatoes" episode Shanti brings to the table her recent inspirations from the book "Conscious Loving - The Journey to Co-Commitment". In learning the difference between co-commitment and codependency, Antoinette and Shanti discuss the co-dependent patterns in their friendship and re-commit to creating a more dynamic, honest relationship. Join us.Book Reference = Conscious Loving - The Journey to Co-Commitment by Gay Hendricks, Ph.D and Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D Do you have a question or comment you'd like to share with us? Call in! Leave a message!Hotline: (215) 948-2780 Email: aroundthewaycurls@gmail.com Patreon: www.patreon.com/aroundthewaycurls for exclusive videos & bonus episodes Shop ATWC Merch: https://www.aroundthewaycurls.com/collectionsSong Credit: Co-dependency by Orla Gartland

Why aren't you fully committed? What makes you sign up or join a program but never finish? Join Sam and Maria as they discuss commitment and how you can say no to give your best YES! Book - Atomic Habits - https://www.target.com/p/atomic-habits-by-james-clear-hardcover/ The Clarity Co. Freebie - https://theclarityco.mykajabi.com/pl/2147568628

On today's episode of “The Language of Love,” Dr. Laura Berman sits down with Katie and Gay Hendricks. This husband-and-wife duo have transformed the lives of thousands of people with their iconic self-help books, including their New York Times bestseller “Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment.” In this episode you will learn: • How to identify and break negative thought patterns that are keeping you from finding love • How to find healing and purpose even when the world feels chaotic and dangerous • How to communicate with your partner in a way that resolves fights rather than amplifies them • How you can influence your partner's behavior with nothing more than your own energy Listen now to hear this inspiring interview with self-help gurus Katie and Gay Hendricks!

The most successful people are also the most purposeful. They create a vision for the future and take steps to get a little better every day. They take the time to ask: Is my life working for me? If not, how would I like it to look different? David Osborn is the principal owner of the sixth largest real estate company in the US with 4,500-plus agents and $11B in annual sales. David also runs a real estate investing private equity firm and operates 35 other profitable real estate related businesses in the US and Canada. He is well-known for being one of the cofounders of GoBundance, a community of healthy, wealthy, generous men who choose to lead EPIC lives. On this episode of Financial Freedom with Real Estate Investing, David joins cohost Garrett Lynch and me to explain his tagline, ‘Who you become on your journey is far more important than what you achieve.' He offers insight on the value of connecting with the right people and growing into the best version of yourself. Listen in to understand why David's definition of wealth involves more than just money and find out how the most successful people get clear on where they're going and walk in purpose. Key Takeaways  How David became a real estate investor Got start as agent, opened KW franchises in TX, NM All-in on investing in 2011 but ran out of own capital Mission to meet wealthy people and raise money Establish fund to invest in single family rentals What investments David is bullish on right now Dwelling spaces and rentals (single and multifamily) Real estate in Sunbelt states with fewer regulations Why who you become is more important than what you achieve Controlling every decision makes you the bottleneck Leadership means delegating trust (world gets bigger) External world = reflection of who you are as human The areas of his life David is working on right now More present with wife and children Working with coach on conscious leadership Meditate on regular basis Health including workouts Learning (40 books/year and podcasts) How David thinks about finding work-life balance Worked 12-hour days to achieve financial freedom Work smarter now, better relationships at home David's well-rounded definition of wealth More than just money and financial freedom Being good human, finding ways to contribute Having adventures and being well-learned Why it's crucial to surround yourself with the right people Genius of humans = sharing and connectivity Find peers who push and inspire you to get better The GoBundance origin story Accountability partners with Pat Hiban, Tim Rhode Invite others to join in bucket-list adventures Growth comes from authenticity and transparency David's top lessons learned as an entrepreneur Know where you're going (purposeful vision for life) Invest in marriage and make time for kids Connect with David Osborn David's Website David on Instagram GoBundance Resources Be a Part of Michael's Deal Maker Mastermind Join the Nighthawk Equity Investor Club Entrepreneurs' Organization TIGER 21 Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment by Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership: A New Paradigm for Sustainable Success by Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman & Kaley Klemp The Almanack of Naval Ravikant: A Guide to Wealth and Happiness by Eric Jorgenson Huberman Lab Podcast Wealth Can't Wait: Avoid the 7 Wealth Traps, Implement the 7 Business Pillars, and Complete a Life Audit Today! by David Osborn & Paul Morris Diego Corzo The Family Board Meeting: You Have 18 Summers to Create Lasting Connection with Your Children by Jim Sheils Lifespan: Why We Age—and Why We Don't Have To by David A. Sinclair Black Belt of the Mind by Fred Grosse Pat Hiban Tim Rhode Scott Harrison of Charity Water Gary Keller The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM) by Hal Elrod Richard Branson Tribe of Millionaires: What If One Choice Could Change Everything? by David Osborn & Pat Hiban Michael's Website  Michael on Facebook  Michael on Instagram  Michael on YouTube  Apartment Investor Network Facebook Group Podcast Show Notes

This episode's goddess guest is using positive psychology to create a happier working environment for her clients! Engage with the goddesses Julietta and Allyson as they interview JoAnna Brandi, Chief Happiness Officer! JoAnna has been helping companies create happy and productive employees. She is the author of two books and coaches Positive Leadership.JoAnna's most influential book(s): Affirmations by Stuart Wilde, Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, Still Life with Woodpeckerby Tom RobbinsJoAnna's website: https://returnonhappiness.com JoAnna on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ReturnOnHappiness JoAnna on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joannabrandi__/ Mentioned in the show: 54 Ways to Stay Positive in a Changing, Challenging and Sometimes Negative World by JoAnna Brandi; Insight Timer - Free Meditation App for Sleep, Relax & More - https://insighttimer.com ; https://www.gallup.com Subscribe To and Watch The Voices of The Goddess with Julietta Wenzel and Allyson Mancini on Youtube HERE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJkusUQRFjoRa0oDQpCLAbA/videos https://www.facebook.com/Voices-of-the-Goddess-356165865475415 https://www.instagram.com/voicesofthegoddess/ Voices of The Goddess with Julietta the Magical PT and Allyson the Holistic Nutritionist is a show that  supports modern day goddesses in developing their super powers and acquiring the tools they need to achieve all their desires. Join us each week as we interview amazing women in the community who share their insights and how they use their tools to make their dreams a reality. Allyson, a Michigander, moved to South Florida in 1993 with her fiancé, Nick. Married for 27 years with two children, Nicholas 24 and Lexi  21.  A SAHM for 24 years and now an empty nester, she has found her true passion as a Holistic Nutritionist. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/healthylifestyleinandoutInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/allysonkmancini/?hl=en Julietta grew up in Wisconsin and graduated with a Physical Therapy degree from University of Wisconsin-Madison.  When not busy treating patients or teaching Voila Method in the US and internationally, she is making healing crystal art and jewelry, creating spiritual/healing paintings, or planning underground dining experiences. A contributing author in the best-selling book UNSTOPPABLE: Leverage Life Setbacks To Rebuild Resilience For Success. https://bodyandsoul-pt.com/   http://julietta.love/ https://soulcandycrystals.com/ https://www.facebook.com/TheMagicalPThttps://www.facebook.com/soulcandybyjuliettahttps://www.facebook.com/Juliettalove-108449684234840https://www.instagram.com/themagicalpt/https://www.instagram.com/soul_candy_/https://www.instagram.com/juliettadotlove/

In this week's episode Johann Urb, actor and creator of the Pyramid Breath Method, shares all about the healing power of breathwork. Johann speaks about how he began meditating as a teenager and the ways it helped him beat depression. We also go into how plant medicine journeys and yoga helped Johann connect with his truest self and create the Pyramid Breath Method. In 2020, Leslie took one of Johann's Pyramid Breath classes on zoom and it was transformational. After talking with Johann for this podcast, she's added breathwork into her daily practice and feels like it's making her more turned on in all aspects of her life.Johann Urb is a world class teacher of meditation and breathwork or how he likes to call it: BreathPlay. He is a sought after spiritual teacher and a coach. He has held a daily spiritual practice for over 30 years. In his Pyramid Breath Method he has designed a powerful breathing technique that uses sound, movement and optimum oxygenation techniques to dramatically shift our state towards positivity; freeing us from past trauma, allowing us to eliminate old beliefs systems, patterns and habits and connecting us with our sacred sexuality in a safe, responsible way. Johann has the unique gift of bringing his deep spiritual perspective to his coaching practices; in relationships, finding life purpose, creating healthy habits, conscious communication and experiencing fulfillment. Johann is also an accomplished actor, utterly fascinated by the play that exists in and in between the realms of consciousness.Book suggestions:Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art by James NestorConscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment by Gay Hendricks & Kathryn HendricksConnect with Johann on Instagram @urbjohannBreathe with Johann on boon.tv/johannurbVisit his website to learn more!Connect with Leslie on Instagram @lesliedraffinConnect with the podcast on Instagram @thelightwithinpodcastEmail us: thelightwithinpodcast@gmail.comDon't forget to leave a rating, review & share this episode with someone you love!

In this episode of The Best Thing podcast, Antonio Neves talks to evolutionary catalyst and a contextual disruptor who has been a pioneer in the field of body intelligence and conscious loving for 50 years, Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks. Hendricks is the co-author of 12 books, including one of my favorites, the best-selling book, Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment. Her unique coaching and leadership programs have generated hundreds of body intelligence and relationship coaches in the U.S. and Europe. In this captivating conversation, she talks about body intelligence, the importance of movement, and how experiencing the arts at a young age greatly influenced her life.   Connect with Antonio BUY Stop Living On Autopilot: Click Here READ Chapter 1 of Stop Living On Autopilot: Click Here I'd love to hear from you! Text me: 310-564-7124 Join The Best Thing Facebook Group: Click here Join me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/theantonioneves Join me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/theantonioneves Join me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/theantonioneves Join me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/theantonioneves   Quick Links: Foundation for Conscious Living: foundationforconsciousliving.org/ Hendricks Institute: https://hendricks.com/ Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment: https://amzn.to/3rzs272   QUICK EPISODE SUMMARY What to expect today! Meet Kathlyn How Kathlyn would describe her services Kathlyn's love for language  The importance of movement  What happens when you are in fear The balance of awareness  What creates intimacy  Kathlyn's answer to the best thing How to change your mind How a 30 min walk can change everything

Pour ce dernier épisode de l'année, j'ai le plaisir de recevoir Fatima Zahra BA, créatrice de la marque de mode So Fatoo.  Après ses études primaire et secondaire à Dakar, Fatima Zahra a rejoint le Maroc où elle a été diplômée en droit public et en relations internationales au Maroc.  Après l'obtention de son diplôme, Fatima a travaillé dans un cabinet d'avocat avant de retourner au Sénégal où elle a exercé le métier d'Assistante parlementaire à l'Assemblée Nationale puis au Ministère de la femme, de la famille et du genre.  Passionnée de couture depuis sa tendre enfance, elle a créé, en juillet 2018, la marque So Fatoo en hommage à sa grand-mère et homonyme Fatou Sow mais aussi à toutes les femmes africaines. Ensemble, on a largement évoqué ses débuts avec So Fatoo, ses ambitions, ses difficultés qu'elle a surmontées et les valeurs défendues à travers la marque.  Face à la recrusdence des violences faites aux femmes, elle a initié la campagne « Doyna » (ça suffit en wolof) qui a réuni plusieurs personnages publics pour dénoncer et alerter l'opinion publique sur ce fléau. Avec So Fatoo, elle habillé les acteurs de la série à succès « MDHM » avec ses créations. Vous allez découvrir une femme très engagée et très ambitieuse. Livres: Le jardiens des vertueux (Riyâd as-sâlihîn) de Imam Al-Nawawi La Confrerie des éveillés de Jacques Attali Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment de Gay Hendricks

If you’re like many high achieving Dads, you probably know a thing or two about setting goals. But where a lot of guys struggle, is when it comes to creating and developing goals as a couple. What happens if you’re a goal setter, but your partner isn’t? This can be a big point of contention in a relationship. But when you and your spouse are able to fully understand each other’s core values, even when they don’t totally match, it can allow your relationship to thrive. Joining me today to talk about this is my good friend Geoff Woods. Geoff is the Vice President of The ONE Thing and the host of The ONE Thing podcast. He’s on a mission to help people better invest their time and get better results – in all areas of life. Over the years, Geoff has helped many couples in all kinds of situations achieve success in their relationships.  If things are going well, he can help you make them even better. And if they’re not, well, he knows how to get you back on track.  Today’s conversation is a great one. We’re discussing the importance of goal setting as a couple and the impact it can make in your life. Last year, Tatyana and I attended a couples’ goal setting retreat led by Geoff and his business partner Jay Papasan, and we experienced MAJOR breakthroughs. This year, Geoff will be offering this retreat virtually. If this is something that interests you (and by the end of this episode you’ll know if it’s for you), simply go to FrontRowDads.com/goals to get more information and enroll.  Gold Nuggets Why so many couples feel like they aren’t growing together, or are out of alignment – and how a deep understanding of your core values and goals can transform this dynamic.  The importance of setting, dating, and checking in on your and your spouse’s goals on a regular basis.  How to talk to your partner about why goal setting matters to you. Why goals don’t have to be shared between couples to be achieved. How to conquer your fear of finding clarity leading to the end of your relationship.  Why there’s no better time to get your goals in alignment than right now. ''Goals aren't something you set and forget, they're something that should determine your behavior on a weekly basis.'' - @GeoffWoods Click To Tweet Big Questions Asked Is goal setting as a couple a one time deal or does it have to continuously be revisited? What does it mean to have a relationship with our goals? Why is it so important for someone else to do the talking (i.e. outside help) when it comes to setting goals as a couple?  How can a high achieving Dad get his partner (who may not be a goal setter) to say YES to attending a goal setting event for couples?  What does a couple do if their goals aren’t the same? How can a couple decide what matters most when it comes to their mutual goals? What kind of fears do couples have when attending an event like this and how can they overcome them? What is The ONE Thing Virtual Goal Setting Retreat and how can someone join? ''Nobody succeeds alone, so don’t try to.'' - @GeoffWoods Click To Tweet Go Deeper The ONE Thing Virtual Goal Setting Retreats Connect with Geoff Woods on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram The1Thing.com The One Thing Trainings The One Thing Book The One Thing Podcast Hal Elrod Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment  Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity Props Hal Elrod Jay Papasan ''The world doesn't need a new way to set goals. It needs a way to have a relationship with them.'' - @JayPapasan Click To Tweet More About Geoff Woods Geoff Woods is the Vice President of The ONE Thing and the host of The ONE Thing podcast which is in the top 5% of all podcasts in the world. After hearing the Jim Rohn quote that “you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with” Geoff set out on a mission to surround himself with high level CEOs and successful entrepreneurs. Fast forward, Geoff went from employee to entrepreneur, launching a company with the co-authors of the best selling book The ONE Thing. Geoff is on a mission to help people better invest their time and achieve extraordinary results. He’s married to his beautiful wife Amy Woods and father to two awesome kids, Daphne and Dean. Want to learn more about Front Row Dads? We are in the business of building better families. While most dads would say that family matters most, the challenge is they feel guilty knowing their careers get the best of them, and their family seems to get the rest of them. We help Dads become family men with businesses, not businessmen who have families, so they can thrive personally AND professionally. Subscribe to the Front Row Dad podcast to learn about fatherhood, marriage and how to level up your game at home, or if you’re ready for the best coaching and true brothers to grow with, Join The Brotherhood Are you getting all the shows? Subscribe today! Want to leave a review? THANK YOU!  http://FrontRowDads.com/review

Love presents a great opportunity, and it can also feel like a great risk. Especially, when we have felt hurt in the past. If we are not conscious (and aware), we can mistake the fear we feel as an indication that something is off in the relationship or with our partner. The key is to recognize the fear you feel makes sense (understand it's origins) and learn how to work with the fear, so that you can learn to develop more intimacy with your significant other. In the episode, I reference the book "The Highly Sensitive Person In Love," by Elaine Aron.  (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.)   In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses:  How we question our lovability when we have felt hurt in the past.  How love and intimacy can be threatening.  Fear of loss of control and how to deal with it.  Fear of one's "attack and destroy" impulses and what to do about it.  Fear of being engulfed and how to take care of yourself.  Fear of commitment and what to consider. Fear of disliking the other for subtle annoyances and how to negotiate this with your partner.    "Love feels whole, energizing and integrating all parts of us. But wholeness would also mean integrating any repressed, split-off anger and destructiveness." by Elaine Aaron   Mentioned:  Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication – Free Guide ERP 233: How To Deal With Fears Of Intimacy – Part One (podcast) The Highly Sensitive Person In Love, by Elaine Aaron The Most Dangerous Stories We Make Up, by Brené Brown ERP 018: How To Deal With Feelings Of Anger In Relationship (podcast) ERP 223: How To Deal With Difficult Emotions – Part One (podcast) ERP 224: How To Deal With Difficult Emotions – Part Two (podcast) Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson ERP 110: HOW TO MANAGE TWO MAJORLY CONFLICTING NEEDS IN RELATIONSHIP (podcast) ERP 093: HOW THE “SHADOW” INFLUENCES OUR GROWTH IN LIFE AND IN RELATIONSHIP WITH DR. KEITH WITT (podcast) ERP 217: HOW TO DEAL WITH STONEWALLING IN RELATIONSHIP (podcast) Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment, by Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks (book) Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins:   Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts  Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com     If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me. 

While we want to experience love and intimacy, it can often bring fears to the surface. The fears often have ties to previous pain and are subconscious or unconscious until we enter into a love relationship. In the episode, I reference the book "The Highly Sensitive Person In Love," by Elaine Aron.  (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.)   In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses:  How fears of intimacy develop in one's life. Ways people distance themselves emotionally as a result of a fear of intimacy. How love and intimacy can be threatening.  Fear of exposure and rejection and how to deal with it.  Fear of angry attacks and what to do about it.  Fear of abandonment and how to take care of yourself.    "To me intimacy means being authentic, revealing to another your most private and true-in-this-moment self - thoughts, feelings, bodily self." by Elaine Aaron   Mentioned:  Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication – Free Guide The Highly Sensitive Person In Love, by Elaine Aaron ERP 110: HOW TO MANAGE TWO MAJORLY CONFLICTING NEEDS IN RELATIONSHIP (podcast) ERP 221: HOW TO RECOGNIZE AND WORK WITH SELF-SABOTAGE IN RELATIONSHIP AN INTERVIEW WITH BRIANNA WIEST (podcast) ERP 093: HOW THE “SHADOW” INFLUENCES OUR GROWTH IN LIFE AND IN RELATIONSHIP WITH DR. KEITH WITT (podcast) ERP 217: HOW TO DEAL WITH STONEWALLING IN RELATIONSHIP (podcast) Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment, by Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks (book) Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins:   Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts  Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com     If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me. 

On today’s episode, Michael and Adee dive into another listener's question, this time about relationships. They share how they’ve learned to celebrate their differences and treat them as opportunities for growth instead of seeing differences as a source of tension. Listen along to learn how to create a co-committed relationship instead of a codependent one, along with so many other helpful strategies. Topics: 01:19 – What we’re reading 05:22 – Answering your questions 07:42 – Finding someone different from you 12:54 – The 1-10 scale 20:11 – Finding co-commitment We would love to hear from you! If you have a question you want us to answer on the podcast, let us know by leaving a voicemail at workingagainstgravity.com/podcast. And don’t forget to follow along @workingagainstgravity on Instagram and leave us a review wherever you listen to podcasts! Links: Expecting Better by Emily Oster The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment by Gay and Kathlyn Hendrick

=== Katrīna Žaltkovska: "Visas emocijas mums ir vajadzīgas, visas viņas ir normālas." === Katrīnai ir maģistra grāds psiholoģijā un viņa konsultē klientus psiholoģijas un kognitīvi biheiviorālās terapijas (KBT) centrā Intellego. Papildus tam, viņa ir viena no koordinatorēm Latvijas Psihologu biedrības rīkotajās Psiholoģijas dienās. Šajā podkāstā apspriežam: Sociālo tīklu ietekme uz sabiedrības emocionālo veselību. Emocionālie dzinējspēki karjeras veidošanā. Kādēļ "negatīvās" emocijas nesaukt par negatīvajām emocijām. Kā tikt galā ar dusmām. Mīti un stereotipi par psiholoģiju. Komunikācija emocionālā un intelektuālā līmenī. KBT terapijas norise. Meditācija Un, kā vienmēr, daudz vairāk. Ieraksta sākumā, Katrīna atsaucās uz grāmatu, kurai uzreiz nevarēja nosaukt autoru, šī grāmata ir Conscous Loving - The Journey to Co-Commitment, no autoriem Gay Hendricks un Kathylin Hendricks. Ja tagad podkāstam vari veltīt tikai piecas minūtes, dodies uz 0:51:56, kur Katrīna pastāsta, kādi ir veselīgie un neveselīgie emocionālie dzinējspēki, kas dod cilvēkam enerģiju karjeras laikā. Baudi un dalies! Sērijas saturs: 0:00:20 - Ievads. 0:02:00 - Kur Katrīna uzauga. 0:02:24 - Deju loma Katrīnas dzīvē un emociju vadībā. 0:08:53 - Kādēļ sociālo tīklu lietišanas minimizēšana palīdz Katrīnai darbā ar klientiem. 0:12:02 - Kā sociālo tīklu, šķietami perfektās dzīves ietekmē sabiedrības emocionālo veselību. 0:15:19 - Kādos veidos nāk ārā emocijas, kuras mēs neizpaužam to parādīšanās brīdī. 0:17:42 - Kādi ir veselīgie veidi, kā apstrādāt emocijas, kuras bieži nav pieņemts izpaust. 0:20:53 - Uz ko jābūt gatavam klientam, kurš sāk nākt uz psihoterapiju, lai tā viņam palīdzētu. 0:23:55 - Kas ir kopīgs cilvēkiem, kuriem kognitīvi biheviorālā terapija noder visbiežāk. 0:25:15 - Neapmierināto pamatvajadzību loma traumu veidošanā. 0:28:53 - Vai Katrīnai nemēdz uznākt vēlme "glābt visu pasauli" ar savām terapeita prasmēm. 0:32:59 - Katrīnas attieksme pret draugu terapeitēšanu. 0:37:54 - Ko terapeits vispār dara. 0:43:22 - Kā tikt galā ar dusmām gan to uzliesmojuma brīdī, gan arī pēc tam. 0:48:21 - Sociālo normu loma emociju izpaušanā. 0:49:35 - Mīti un nepatiesi stereotipi par psiholoģiju. 0:51:56 - Veselīgie un neveselīgie emocionālie dzinējspēki, kas dod cilvēkam enerģiju karjeras laikā. 1:02:56 - Kā komunicēt ne tikai loģiskā, bet arī emocionālā līmenī. 1:11:05 - Kā meditācija Katrīnai un man palīdz pamanīt citu cilvēku emocijas. 1:14:04 - Kādas problēmas izriet no pārlieku loģiskas komunikācijas. 1:14:47 - Cik liela daļa no mūsu laimes sajūtas ir iedzimta un cik lielā mērā varam to kontrolēt. 1:27:24 - Kur Intellego atrast internetā. 1:27:52 - Vai ir kaut kas, kam Katrīna tic, ko nevar pierādīt. 1:29:21 - Ja Katrīna varētu jebkur pasaulē izlikt lielu ziņojumu, kur viņa to liktu un kas uz tā būtu rakstīts. 1:30:35 - Ko Katrīnas draugi teiktu, ka viņa to dara izcilā līmenī. 1:31:00 - Uz kādu jautājumu Katrīna gribētu varēt atbildēt biežāk. 1:33:04 - Vai Katrīnai ir bijusi kāda negatīva pieredze, ko viņa negribētu atkārtot, bet uz kuru atskatoties, viņa jūtās daudz ieguvusi.  Intellego internetā: Intellego.lvPodkāsta Patreon lapa: http://patreon.com/svarigasdetalas Podkāsta mājaslapa: SvarigasDetalas.lvPodkāsta Facebook lapa: www.facebook.com/SvarigasDetalasPodkāsts itunes: https://itunes.apple.com/lv/podcast//id1455599870Es twitterī: @JurisBaltacs

Listen as Blake interviews Seth Streeter, Co-founder and CEO of Mission Wealth, a successful wealth management firm based in Santa Barbara, California. Seth speaks differently than most financial advisors, encouraging his clients to think beyond the balance sheet and make financial decisions with their life purpose in mind. Together, they unwrap the shifting “American Dream,” the “Ten Dimensions of Wealth,” and what it means to truly find success. For full show notes and transcript, click here.  Topics: Introduction [00:47] Interview with Seth Streeter [06:58] The Ten Dimensions of Wealth [08:43] The shifting “American Dream” [11:42] Seth’s work and the 3.0 vision [15:04] “The Big Leap” [19:10] The Impact and Fun Dimensions of Wealth [28:32] Making the most of your 3.0 vision [32:45] A generational shift [41:18] The old way vs. the new way [47:59] Closing remarks [50:38] Credits [52:35]  Referenced Resources: Mission Wealth “I Am” The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level by Gay Hendricks, Ph.D. Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment by Gay Hendricks, Ph.D. and Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D. Learning to Love Yourself by Gay Hendricks, Ph.D. A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle THE LAB The Untethered Life: Wealth Redefined (TEDxSantaBarbara) Guest Details: Mission Wealth Instagram (@redefiningwealth) Subscribe to The Wellness Revolutionaries podcast on iTunes, Spotify, and Google Play. If you liked today’s episode, leave us a 5-star rating and review!

LISTENER’S QUESTION “I love your podcast! Thank you so much for all your advice. I have been dating a guy ten years my age for just over a year. The first 5 months of our relationship I was emotionally cheating with my ex. When it became open I cut off communication and worked very hard to gain back trust. It’s been eight months on a rollercoaster of emotions trying to earn back trust. I did everything I thought to do to fix my mistakes and it seemed futile. It came to the point where I told myself I was “done” if he aggressively accused me and belittled me one more time. It happened of course and that was a turning point for me. I have lost interest in trying. Now my boyfriend decided he doesn’t want to lose me and wants to work on things and even offered to pay for counselling… but I can’t get my ex (whom I cheated on with) out of my head. I haven’t contacted him since I don’t want things to be messier than they are but I don’t know what to do. Is my obsession with my ex is real or fake. Should I stay and fix this since my boyfriend wants to work on things or should I move on or contact my ex?” (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) POINTS DISCUSSED It is nearly impossible to create a thriving, intimate, safe, conscious connection, when there is a lot of withholding. “Withdrawal and projection are the natural outcomes of withholding. When you withhold, you keep inside yourself things that should be expressed. The very act of hiding these things takes you one step back from the relationship. A result of this withdrawal is that you will begin to project. In other words, you begin to attribute to other people things that are actually issues of your own. Withdrawal follows withholding so swiftly that often we do not notice the sense of distance at first.” By Gay Hendricks & Kathlyn Hendricks (Conscious Loving, page 48) It is difficult to assess the quality of the connection (because you haven’t been fully present). You can only speculate what things would be like if you were really “in” the relationship. Withholding leads to perceiving things inaccurately because we are not actually connecting with the other person, we are making up a story about it true for them and this leads to gross misunderstandings and disconnect. More importantly, it does not give room for the other person to really see you, meet you, and be with you AND this is what creates intimacy and connection. This is a vicious cycle. The more you withhold, the more your partner senses something is off. Your partner has a choice in how he deals with the threatening feelings. Unfortunately, many people do not feel safe or have the skill to say “I am scared you are not really in this with me.” Instead, people will react out of fear and disconnect. This is where destructive behaviors happen. This is where the downward spiral ensues. Both partners turn away from each other, losing trust in one another and the relationship. RECOMMENDATIONS: Set limits about what type of behavior you are willing to engage with. If he starts belittling you, then I would remove yourself from the situation. It will be important to discuss this ahead of time. Let him know you care about his experience. If he has concern, issue, or feelings about something, you are available to listen and be with him. But you are not willing to be the target. Talking about it ahead of time will help him understand that you are not rejecting him in the moment, rather you are trying to create safety by removing yourself from a negative interaction. Turn inward to reflect on some of your deeper motivations. What does your ex represent for you? What associations do you have with him? What are you missing in your current relationship? Want are you longing for? What does fantasizing about your ex do for you? Is it a form of escape? For example, you are not wanting to face the pain and difficulty within your relationship. What stops you from being completely honest and transparent? Are you afraid of his reaction? Are you afraid of hurting him? Do you feel scared of conflict? Do you not feel safe? Do you not want to lose your partner? Many times people get preoccupied with questions like “Is this the right person for me? Is this the right relationship? Should I stay or should I go?” These are very difficult questions to answer. Instead, I would like to encourage questions like “How can we invest in a positive, constructive dynamic together? How can we build a safe connection? How can we build trust?” You already know the dynamic isn’t working. Focus on repairing the interactions and this will give you a better opportunity of saving your relationship. I would highly recommend getting support to work through the areas that have been keeping you stuck, as well as to build a constructive path forward. At the very least, you will learn a lot about yourself.  MENTIONED: Nine Destructive Behaviors to Avoid During Relationship Conflict(article) ERP 110: How To Manage Two Majorly Conflicting Needs In Relationship(podcast) ERP 057: How To Avoid Enabling Your Partner’s Destructive Behavior(podcast) ERP 109: How Being Gentle With Your Partner Can Make A Big Difference(podcast) ERP 106: What To Do When You Are Attracted To Someone Else(podcast) ERP 024: The Most Important Ingredient To Shifting Conflicts(podcast) ERP 025: Be The Best You Can Be In Relationship(podcast) ERP 014: How To Stop The Drama In Relationship(podcast) ERP 124: How To Improve The Climate Of Your Relationship(podcast) ERP 138: The most critical ingredient for relationship success with Harville Hendrix & Helen Hunt(podcast) ERP 123: Forgive For Love With Dr. Fred Luskin(podcast) Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment(book) Photo by Shoaib SR on Unsplash Photo by Aditya Saxena on Unsplash TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 139: How Hiding And Withholding Damage Your Relationship [TRANSCRIPT] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you!  If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or doing relationship coaching work with me.  

  First please note there will be a change in the episode format.  I had many requests to discuss more in detail about entrepreneurship and skincare, to allow some time for the creations of these show, I will be reducing the love yourself back to life show from three to one episode per week.  The episode will be released on Monday and will last between 15 to 20 mins. In this episode, Nadia explains the importance of knowing your list of needs. Once you know, it helps you connect with your feelings. Your needs and feelings determine what fulfills you.  Only you can tell what you desire. These desires will determine what your goals are allowing to live in a place of authenticity. If you have any questions, you can reach Nadia at  ask@nadiafleury.com (mailto:ask@nadiafleury.com) (#) On the other side, not knowing or not tapping into your list of needs, it may bring in your life hardship and disappointments. You may be seeking happiness from external sources or substances like alcohol or drugs. Or it may keep you in a co-dependent relationship driven by entanglement and drama. Nadia brings some of Gay Hendricks’s book: Conscious Loving: “The Journey to Co-Commitment and explains that a relationship can only exist when two people, each taking 100 percent responsibility for his or her life and for the results each creates. There are no victims.” http://kaykeys.net/spirit/creation/hendricks.html Nadia goes into more detail as to why we struggle with being transparent with our feelings and desires. Each of us is responsible for seeking what we want as this is the starting point to better define your goals in life. At the end of the day, if you cannot tell what you want, how can you expect others to make you happy? Nadia also explains the importance of letting our feeling come to us. We have to love and accept each feeling and let it go its full cycle. That is where learning and growth come from. If you have any questions, you can reach Nadia at ask@nadiafleury.com

As woman we find it very difficult to say no to any request that comes our way. We have been taught to be helfpful, and kind and be yes women. And so we have been trained to want to please everyone and put everyone else ahead of our own needs. Even when we don’t have the time or the desire to do so. Sometimes we even feel our body resisting, but we don’t listen! All this people pleasing…leads us to a live a life we may not have wanted. In today’s episode of Food, Success & Life for the Modern Woman, Katie Hendricks talks to us about learning to tell the difference between the yes and the nos….by taking our cues from our body. Living and loving consciously. Creating the life we truly want to live. It’s amazing that her teachings are in tune with our guest from last week Aimee Eoff, about listening to our body…our intuition. If you didn’t catch that episode, make sure to listen to it next.   What is Conscious Living and Conscious Loving? Conscious Living is being able to fully participate in life by choice, so that we are fully understanding what we really like and don’t like, what we want and don’t want. It allows us to make decisions from the inside out as opposed to from the outside in. The way that most humans are raised is from the outside in, with structures, laws, rules and shaming, to police our behavior. When we live consciously we don’t need all that because we are living in alignment, the way life is flowing. So that if we agree to do something we do it. And we know how to express our feelings and experiences and thoughts. The basic benefit is that we get to be awake and alive. We get to participate fully in our life while we are in it.   How do we Start Living Consciously? So how do we live our life responsively rather than reactively? Where we’re creating our life rather than leaving to the effects of circumstances. Katie’s team has developed the 4 Pillars of Integrity which have to do with healthy responsibility, impeccable agreements, emotional transparency and communication skills. These have recently been created in a deck of cards to look at what skills we have already integrated and which we still need to practice. This would be a great place to start. They can be found on Katie’s website. Type in impeccable, the integrity deck. Also found in her new book: Conscious Loving Ever After: How to Create Thriving Relationships at Midlife and Beyond Your experience of living consciously happens choice by choice. When you feel that you’re really stuck, make just one good choice at a time will give you the confidence to keep learning and growing. It’s never too late in life to make new choices and to start building a life that works for you rather than one that was given to you. How to Understand a No or a Yes When You Ask Yourself a Question? As a beginning exploration, remember a recent tine when you were asked to do something or made a choice and you can feel a contraction in your body, that’s usually a no. When you really don’t want to do something you will feel it on your neck or teeth. The experience of yes in our body experience it as an uprising, expansion feeling through your chest. It feels like champagne bubbles. It has more of a “hah” quality. Women don’t really hear those signals because we have received so much external information. We have to start trusting our own inner signals. It creates a flow of harmony. New FB page The BQ Hub is a page created with classes and tips for how to open up your body intelligence even more. There’s an assessment and lots of information so people can learn to be at home in their bodies. “Use your Body Intelligence to feel the Yes and No” – Katie Hendricks How Do You Reconcile the Opposition With Your Spouse? When your spouse or partner wants to do something but you really don’t want to, how do you reconcile that feeling in your body? Compromise is a relationship killer. When people have to think of a relationships as settling for less, it’s not going to appetizing to anybody. People keep tuning into “what do I really want?” If one person wants to eat one thing, and their partner wants something different, what emerges is a solution not a compromise. It’s more of a synergy. Start practicing with your choice of clothes, or restaurants before you start listening to your body on big decisions like whether you want to marry someone, or whether you want to buy a house.   Tips to Start Engaging With Spouse Toward Conscious Loving Communication is a game of toss. Think of yourself as a toddler in the realm of communication, like tossing a ball back and forth will allow you to be at ease with yourself rather than critical. Say to him “Tell me more” and you’re tossing the communication back on his court. Then you can use “Ooh, then what happened?” And you can also use “What interests you most about that?” Also use body sensations. Katie explains how to do this and how it will evolve over time with practice. It’s quite powerful and effective. You will learn that your conversations will be about discover as opposed to about blame.   Why Goosebumps are an Important Body Signal? Goosebumps is a rush through the skin and the whole body. It lets you know that you’re in the presence of BIG TRUTH, of something of big value, and maybe a signal that you’re on to something important. If you find yourself with goosebumps, give attention to it. Notice what is happening and what your body is trying to tell you. What you give attention to, develops further. If we want to start on a journey: For personal development, and opening up to your GENIUS: The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. If you are interested in the relationship world: Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment is a classic in the field. Conscious Loving Ever After: How to Create Thriving Relationships at Midlife and Beyond which is specifically geared for people 40 and above. On Hendricks.com in the relationship page at the bottom, you can click through for videos to show you how to integrate them into your relationships and those are FREE.     15 Day Fat Loss Kick Start Ebook Download your FREE copy here!! DOWNLOAD!   Check your email. You will receive access for instant downloading. We respect your privacy- We will not rent, spam or sell your email. About Katie Hendricks: Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D., BC-DMT*, is an evolutionary catalyst and freelance mentor who has been a pioneer in the field of body intelligence and conscious loving for over forty years. Katie has an international reputation as a presenter and seminar leader, bodifying the core skills of conscious living–authenticity, response-ability and appreciation–with conscious enthusiasts from many fields. She is the co-author of twelve books, including the best-selling Conscious Loving, At The Speed of Life and Conscious Loving Ever After: How to Create Thriving Relationship at Midlife and Beyond. Katie has been a successful entrepreneur for over forty years. She specializes in turning concepts such as commitment into felt experience and igniting new actions that emerge from the inside out. Her unique coaching and leadership programs have generated hundreds of body intelligence and relationship coaches in the U.S. and Europe. She co-founded the Spiritual Cinema Circle and the virtual Body Intelligence Summit. Katie has appeared on over 500 radio and television programs and traveled well over one million air miles as the ambassador for the work that she and her husband Gay Hendricks have developed.• Kathlyn earned a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology and has been a Board Certified-Dance/Movement Therapist of the American Dance Therapy Association since 1975. Links and Resources Hendricks.com New FB page The BQ Hub is a page created with classes and tips for how to open up your body intelligence even more. Recommended Books: Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment is a classic in the field.   Conscious Loving Ever After: How to Create Thriving Relationships at Midlife and Beyond which is specifically geared for people 40 and above.  If you missed it, listen in on our last podcast episode with Katie: Body Intelligence: Change Your Body, Change Your Mind, #66 And last week’s episode: Discover Your REAL Superwoman Powers with Aimee Eoff Join our private FSL Modern Community on FB.

We look to solve our concerns through our partner. We spend our time trying to get our partner to see what THEY are doing wrong and get them to see our perspective. We think, “If I can just point it out to them in a way they can hear it…” “Or if I can give them a good enough example and illustrate my point, they will understand.” We think if they understand, they will see the error of their ways and they will change their behavior. Attempts at this strategy usually never work. When we tell our partner what they are doing wrong, most often they will get defensive. They will feel hurt, attacked, or blamed. Many times couples go into therapy expecting or hoping that the therapist will help change their partner. One partner or both partners want the therapist to be a judge deeming a particular behavior as unacceptable and convince the offending partner to change. To hear how to shift out of this dynamic, please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript. You will hear explanations, stories and examples as well. Here are 4 steps to shift out of this challenging dynamic:  1. RECOGNIZE THE CUE (I.E. COMPLAINT OR ISSUE). 2. AS SOON AS YOU ARE ABLE, INQUIRE INTO WHAT IS GOING ON FOR YOU. “Hmm.” ”What is going on in me?” “What is wanting to be expressed?” 3. STAY WITH IT. Stay interested and curious in what is going on for you. 4. ALLOW NEW INSIGHT AND AWARENESS TO EMERGE (MAY HAPPEN IMMEDIATELY OR IT MAY HAPPEN OVER A FEW HOURS OR DAYS).   MENTIONED: Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment (Gay & Katie’s book) The Hendricks Institute (Gay & Katie’s website) ERP 066: How to move out of criticism into love & appreciation With Kathlyn Hendricks (podcast episode) TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 108: What Most Couples Do That Creates Problems [Transcript] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you!  If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or doing relationship coaching work with me.

Jessica Winterstern got her bachelors in applied psychology from NYU, her masters in Human development and psychology from Harvard and is about to graduate with a second masters in Spiritual psychology from university of Santa Monica. She is an author who writes for Huffington post, House of Citrine The Good Men Project and several other publications and is currently writing two books. Jessica is a transformational coach and a motivational speaker. Vulnerability is her greatest strength and she recognizes her heart as her ultimate superpower. What inspired you to write your article - “To all the men out there”? Jessica recognized that all her life she had been projecting her pain and insecurities and discomfort on others and especially men. She realized it often feels easier to point blame rather than take responsibility. And she was ready to clear herself of this and started writing and this article came out. Guiding Principle, Quote or Mantra All love comes from self love. When it comes to loving and going into partnership, it is so important to be connected to one’s value and worth.  Otherwise we are setting ourselves up for failure when we are disconnected from ourselves. When You Tripped Up At the time of Jessica’s first serious relationship she had a great deal of self hatred and lack of self worth coursing through her body. And she created a partnership with a man who mirrored back to her all of these things. She stayed in this relationship for 4 years, which was probably 4 years too long, even though everyone in her life was advocating for her to get out of it. Jessica continually turned a blind eye to things that she wouldn’t stand for today.  Looking back she knows that this man was being her mirror and treating her exactly as she felt that she deserved to be treated. She was tripping up over and over again because she was so dependent on the idea of the partnership and so terrified of being alone that she ended up sacrificing herself to maintain something that wasn’t real. The “DUH” moment that changed your partnerships forever Jessica’s “Duh” moment was when she realized that even the man who was the love of her life so far, could not fix the emptiness she felt inside no matter how much he tried to make her happy. Waking up to the fact that she needed to do the work it was going to take to become whole so she could come into a relationship as someone who is complete. On the outside everything looked perfect. But inside she was completely disconnected from herself and she was looking for her value from external variables. She needed to do the work within so she could be fueled by her own self love in a relationship versus her own self loathing. Proudest moment in partnership  The relationships Jessica has built with the women in her life right now are some of her proudest.  They are a mirror and reflection of what powerful self-love is able to do.  These partnerships light each other up and don’t feel the need to dim themselves down. What is the best partnership / relationship advice you have ever received? Every moment is a choice. You can only choose your partner when you choose yourself first. Best Partnership Book (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0553354116/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0553354116&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=58517e7ec37ca794bf75a39291f75f67) Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0553354116/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0553354116&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=adc7d60b1dd5d2c638ebd1b401b5eafd) Payoff of Partnership Jessica values the experiences of heartbreak and grief that come from some of the most tumultuous times in the relationships of her life. At...

Heide Banks is a nationally recognized relationship coach who has been featured on Oprah!. 20/20, the Early Show, and Good Morning America to name a few. She holds an MA from the a university of Santa Monica and is known for her deep intuition and wisdom having done this work for 25 years. Guiding Principle, Quote or Mantra Get off the right/wrong track, and move to what is this relationship showing me? Get out of the fantasy of what you should be experiencing. And look at what’s really happening here. And how has this been brought to you for your growth. When You Tripped Up Heidi was taught to lead with her sexuality and her looks.  As a child she was not very attractive. She had weight issues and was not very popular. Around college that shifted. And she let sexuality and looks lead her around. Then she recognized she wasn’t getting what she wanted out of relationships. And she realized she wasn’t really showing up as herself. She was showing up as arm candy. Which was contrary to who she is. A guy she was dating said “You lied to me about who you are.”  Heidi realized that she had presented herself as a carefree and shallow person in the beginning of the relationship.  When she felt safe enough for her to come out in a deeper way and he wasn’t interested. That’s when she decided she was not going to do that again. She was going to show up as who she is, the whole package, not just a part of her. Proudest moment in partnership Heidi’s proudest moment was her divorce. She was married for close to 11 years and then they realized that what they each wanted for the next phase of their lives did not include them being together. There was no period of animosity or regret. And they are great friends now. He says to her, “I’m not your ex-husband. I’m your friend.” And that brings joy. What is the best partnership / relationship advice you have ever received? Forgiveness.  Move to a place that let’s you and your partner off the hook so you aren’t carrying it forward. And never criticize your partner in public. Best Partnership Book or Resource (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1556439059/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1556439059&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=31826efc8439caae88179345afa664ef) Spiritual Bypassing: When Spirituality Disconnects Us from What Really Matters (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1556439059/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1556439059&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=12f4e1a015681f3876f9a37360b5777f) (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/006169696X/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=006169696X&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=5da469ea6dcf719aa7b31b524758ac77) The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/006169696X/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=006169696X&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=0ec11b87fd3daa7589f328aa97542c7f) (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0553354116/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0553354116&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=9d668664ce0be4fcad5df59cb41e3734) Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0553354116/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0553354116&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=a8ed8974f70d25bba86e16bbfa4a3a09) (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/080414110X/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=080414110X&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=317dce4b015547e26d36588fdbda9470) The Surrender...

Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D., BC-DMT*, is an evolutionary catalyst and contextual disruptor. She has been a pioneer in the field of body intelligence and conscious loving for over forty years. Katie has an international reputation as a seminar leader, training professionals from many fields in the core skills of conscious living: authenticity, response-ability and appreciation. She is the co-author of twelve books, including the best-selling Conscious Loving, At The Speed of Life and the new Conscious Loving Ever After: How to Create Thriving Relationship at Midlife and Beyond. Katie has been a successful entrepreneur for over forty years and has developed a unique coaching and leadership program that has trained hundreds of coaches in the U.S. and Europe. She co-founded the Spiritual Cinema Circle and the virtual Body Intelligence Summit, which will move into its third year in 2016. She has appeared on over 500 radio and television programs and traveled well over one million air miles as the ambassador for the work that she and her husband Gay Hendricks have developed. * Kathlyn earned a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology and has been a Board Certified-Dance/Movement Therapist of the American Dance Therapy Association since 1975. In this episode, Kathlyn Hendricks talks with us about how criticism and blame get in the way of true intimacy in relationship. She offers perspective on the damaging cycle of criticism between partners. She gives us some important keys into shifting out of criticism. She also provides some valuable tips about how to create change in your relationship even if your partner is not on the same page. Katie helps us look at what is possible when you end criticism and blame in your relationship. KEY POINTS TO CONSIDER: Blame and criticism are the number one relationship killers, as they are the reason why most people leave their close relationships. Criticism creates a sense of shrinking away and distancing response in the person being criticized. Criticism erodes at the positive bond and connection in relationship. Criticism almost always comes from a fearful place: the experience of “I am scared of something, and I look over and I think it is you that is making me scared.” Criticism creates a fear and adrenal cycle that keeps partner’s hooked in a negative loop and prevent them from creating intimacy. The only thing to do with criticism is to stop it, by making a commitment to end criticism and blame. It is important to see criticism as a defensive move and look at the underlying experience. By committing to stop criticism and blame, partner’s make room for genuine appreciation, support, and giving and receiving quality attention. In each moment, we have a choice in relationship, to either expand in learning and authenticity or close up in protection. We can’t do both. Be sure to listen to the podcast episode to hear more valuable tips, as well as how to specifically move out of a critical stance.  MENTIONED: Conscious Loving Ever After: How to Create Thriving Relationships at Midlife and Beyond, by Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks (book) Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment, by Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks (book) Conscious Loving 5 video series, by Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks (videos on website) Foundation For Conscious Living (website) Hendricks (website) Hendrick’s Trainings (website) Hearts In Harmony (Facebook page) PROGRAM: HOW TO TURN CRITICISM INTO LOVING COMMUNICATION REGISTER HERE. TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 066: How To Move Out Of Criticism Into Love & Appreciation If you have a topic you would like me to discuss or a situation you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. Thank you so much for your interest about criticism in romantic relationships. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you!  If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or doing relationship coaching work with me.

Part 2 of episode #24...Proudest moment in partnership Gay had the idea for the Spiritual Cinema Circle in a meditation. He immediately acted on it and because it came from a place of pure consciousness, the putting it together was so easy.  And it benefited so many people over the years. This story will amaze you. Current Partnership that Has You Excited His partnership with his wife, Katie, is the most exciting partnership he has. Listen to the beautiful thing he told her this morning. Also his business partnership with SuperMindApps.com (http://SuperMindApps.com) creating transformational apps. And his partnership with his personal trainer, Patrick Lee, which is a partnership with Gay’s health. What is the best partnership / relationship advice you have ever received? “The best deals you ever do are the ones you don’t do.” - Jerry Jones  Often times it is the things you say no to that are responsible for your success more than the things you say yes to. Best Partnership Book (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061735361/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0061735361&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=E5ZXHBAQTYHZBB5Y) The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061735361/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0061735361&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=FZHIYAK4E6PC7G5K) (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0553354116/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0553354116&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=Q6CXA2BYATX4HEII) Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0553354116/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0553354116&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=ZQJCLLHTTINVCSNJ) (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1401947328/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1401947328&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=4US5TIVSRMXU74QN) Conscious Loving Ever After: How to Create Thriving Relationships at Midlife and Beyond (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1401947328/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1401947328&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=ZJMF2NF63U7PUS73) (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1577319486/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1577319486&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=OYNAVSAZRD6TPCMM) Five Wishes: How Answering One Simple Question Can Make Your Dreams Come True (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1577319486/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1577319486&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=E55XXXWSGI2HCMFP) Interview Links - www.hendricks.com (http://www.hendricks.com) Gay’s Facebook Page (https://www.facebook.com/relationshipadvice) (https://speakingofpartnership.com/025-gay-hendricks-part-2/)

LISTENER’S QUESTION: “How or what might you be able to recommend for my current situation? I am a 45 year old man who is dating a 41 year old woman who has been married 2 previous times. I have lived the single life and am ready for a change. One of her children is still a child. Her biggest concern is where my career path is leading me…. I changed career direction a couple years ago and has not produced visible improvement in my life financially. I don’t want to lose her because of that, she has asked that I find something and has given somewhat of a deadline on our future together. I know we have a connection and she has voiced that as well. My biggest feeling I have currently is Fear…fear of losing her when I know and I know she knows we have a connection.” 1. Identify What Is True For You. What are your top values in life? What are your needs? What type of relationship are your wanting to create? 2. What Are Your Partner’s Needs? What are your partner’s top values in life? What are her needs? What type of relationship is she wanting to create? 3. Be Honest & True. Be willing to be vulnerable. Reveal what is true. 4. Surrender The Desire To Control. Be open to the unknown. Let go of your attachment to being seen in a particular way. Feel the emotions that come up when you let go of the need to control (i.e. fear, grief, sadness). 5. Just Be. Be in the moment. Be with what is true. There is a tremendous amount of strength and grace that comes for revealing what is true without trying to hide or conceal. LISTENER’S QUESTION: “Hi I am 55 years old, divorced for four years. I’m in relationship and it’s pretty serious and I’m not sure at this point when to tell him that I had a gastric bypass surgery. Only a couple of friends know that I had the surgery about eight years ago.  I am committed to living a more authentic life and I feel like I need to tell him at some point. We are talking about the relationship progressing to the next level. He retires at the end of the year. He might be moving across the country to live with me. I am feeling like I need to tell him. I am just not sure when. Do we wait until we talk about marriage or until we are pretty sure that we’re going to be together or do I just do it now. I guess I feel like I should do it now because if he can’t accept that or is judgmental about about my past, I’d like to know sooner rather than later.” 6. Commit To Revealing. Commit to revealing over and over again in relationship. Even if feels shameful, unacceptable, unattractive, and unlovable. Otherwise, you will be hiding yourself and taking yourself out of true connection. 7. You Always Have The Opportunity To Choose. As soon as you recognize you are concealing or hiding… Shift your focus to revealing and being transparent. Notice what is true in the moment. Share openly and honestly. 8. Take 100% Responsibility For Your Experience Be curious. How are you contributing to this issue? Stay with the question. How are you participating in the relationship dynamic? MENTIONED: Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment (book) Save Your Relationship By Understanding Your Attachment Needs (podcast) My Personal Story – What Led Me Into The Field Of Couples Work And Relationship Coaching (podcast) Suzanne Kilkus (website) Gosia Meyer Jewelry (website)   TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 059: Risk Love To Be True To Oneself. If you have a topic you would like me to discuss or a situation you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. Thank you so much for your interest in learning about improving your love relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you!  If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or doing relationship coaching work with me.

What does it take to have a relationship that can thrive well into your 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond? What are the best ways to FIND a conscious relationship? Or to shift your current relationship into a place of being energized for what’s possible? And have you ever wondered why it can be so easy to blame someone else in an argument - and if there’s any way to eradicate criticism and blame from your relationship once and for all? Today’s guest is none other than Gay Hendricks, co-author with his wife Katie of the classic book Conscious Loving, as well as the new book Conscious Loving Ever After: How to Create Thriving Relationships at Midlife and Beyond. Along with his wife, Gay is one of THE experts on how to have relationships that fit into the new paradigm for love - relationships that continue to grow and be a source of inspiration both within the partnership, but also for the communities surrounding the relationship. He has been a leader in the field of relationship transformation for over 45 years - and has appeared on Oprah, 48 Hours, CNN, and...today he is here on Relationship Alive.  Take a listen! My conversation with Gay covers the following topics: Conscious Loving Ever After, his new book with his wife Katie (or Kathlyn) Hendriks, picks up where their original Conscious Loving (1992) left off. What does it take to have a thriving relationship into midlife and beyond? Are you taking into account your stage of adult development in your relationship? Does your relationship reinforce where you’re at in life? Even if you’re in your 20s or 30s, are you setting yourself up for long-term success in your life and relationship? How do you find a partner for a conscious relationship, or shift your current relationship to a conscious relationship? Step One is getting really clear on what you want in your relationship. What would you want to be committed to? What would you want your partner to be committed to? In our conversation, Gay recounts the steps he took on his personal journey to a “conscious loving” relationship with his wife, Katie. He crafted a “prayer to the universe” - a list detailing EXACTLY what he wanted in a relationship. Step Two is to be clear about what you absolutely DON’T want. Gay had created a list of the three “must haves” and the three “must not haves”. Step Three: After you’ve created your list of  Three Absolute Yesses and Three Absolute Nos in your relationship, the next step is to set a clear intention (some might call it a “prayer” - but you’re at least making a clear commitment to yourself) that you will NOT settle for less. That you are perfectly fine being single rather than settling. Are you ok being alone? At this point it’s worth mentioning that if you’re NOT ok with being alone...what’s up? I’m not saying that you have to be ALONE alone, living like a hermit in some cave. Why not enjoy your community and your friends to the fullest, and the way that you can create intimacy with them, the way that your life and creative spark is (hopefully) supported by them, and let THAT send ripples out into the world (which has a good chance of leading you and your future partner to cross paths)? What are the core commitments for a lifelong conscious relationship? A commitment to honesty and integrity A commitment to creative growth A commitment to taking personal responsibility (no blame and criticism) Are there any that you would add here? What feelings come up for you as you make your list of musts and must-nots? In making a “list” of requirements, it’s important to acknowledge the feelings involved in each item: fear, sadness, despair, pain, love, excitement, etc. Can you feel those feelings and have compassion for yourself? Loving yourself more opens up more opportunities to love your partner. Develop the skill of being present. To be “present” or “in the moment,” you have to open your heart, mind, and body and befriend your feelings. Can you be curious about your own feelings? Can you tend to the part of you that’s feeling them, especially the difficult emotions? Can you guide yourself through that instead of looking for a partner to do it for you? Are you committed to your own Creativity? Many people realize at some point that they have sacrificed their creativity to fit into some “role” in life. However, allowing yourself to do something creative every day, to surprise yourself, will allow you to grow the part of you that is the unique expression of YOU on the planet. The more that you can be more fully YOU, the more that you can more fully be in relationship with a partner and encourage them to be more fully them. Pay attention to how you’re using technology. Today’s technology actually brings more opportunities to be dishonest with your partner unless open-hearted communication is a priority in your relationship. Are there things that you’re hiding from your partner? Or are you letting technology get in the way of direct, face-to-face (and heart-to-heart) communication with your partner? Can you commit to having a relationship free from criticism and blame? It’s easy to get addicted to the little bursts of adrenaline that we get when we criticize or blame our partners, and yet no force is more destructive in a relationship. How can you stop blaming and take responsibility? First step is to commit to looking within for the answers. Try a “wonder-shift,” - saying something to yourself like “Hmmmm, I wonder...what it is that I’m doing that keeps causing this experience to happen?” or “Hmmm, I wonder...what my partner’s experience of me is right now?” or...you get the drift, right? :-)         Resources: www.hendricks.com - Gay and Katie Hendricks's website www.neilsattin.com/gay is the direct link to this episode. Visit to download the show guide, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the show guide. If you download the guide within the first week of this episode's airing, you are automatically qualified for a chance to win a signed copy of “Conscious Loving Ever After”! Our Relationship Alive Community on Facebook Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out! Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment by Gay Hendricks and Kathlyn Hendricks Conscious Loving Ever After: How to Create Thriving Relationships at Midlife and Beyond by Gay Hendricks and Kathlyn Hendricks

Are you looking for ways to breathe new life into your relationship? In today’s episode, we’re exploring the power of integrity to heal problems and generate passion in your connection with your partner. What does it mean to be honest? What are you actually committed to in your relationship? How do you turn a major problem - for instance, infidelity - into a catalyst for growth and even deeper intimacy? My guest today is Katie Hendricks, co-author of the book Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment. Having worked with thousands of couples with her partner, Gay Hendricks, Katie is experienced in helping you make the shift towards a relationship in which you and your partner are bringing out the best in each other. There are some tough topics in this episode - and our goal is to show you how to easefully and gracefully challenge your assumptions about what’s possible for your relationship.  Be sure to check out the episode! Katie discusses the following topics: Conscious Loving means to be awake and engaged, with a free choice to communicate clearly and authentically about feelings.  How do you bring out the best in your partner? Do you want your partner to be their biggest and brightest self in the world? Where does that idea create fear in you, and is it getting in the way of your being able to encourage your partner? Along those lines, how are you choosing yourself as well? Are you allowing yourself to get smaller in your relationship? Are there different choices that would be more aligned with what you want to create for yourself in the world? How would you know if you are experiencing “Conscious Loving”? Are you repeating destructive patterns in relationship, perhaps that you saw modeled by your parents or other adults (this could be from the media and entertainment, as well as within your actual experience)? Are you caught in any of these “traps” of unconscious loving?  Seeing a limited possibility for a relationship, having the viewpoint that relationships are hard work and require compromise, letting your partner get away with destructive patterns? Is your partner letting YOU get away with destructive patterns? A starting point for overcoming the traps is to come back to a place of caring and respect, for yourself and for your partner. Can you challenge these negative assumptions and patterns? How would you act if you were coming from that place of caring and respect? The Responsibility Principle is one that is often misunderstood.  People generally confuse responsibility with blame and burden. Responsibility is being able to claim your creativity, and instead of blaming, you get curious and creative. Are you able to respond to what’s happening? Are you responding from a place of being curious, or are you reacting out of fear or anger? What about a relationship that has gone through infidelity? Part of being honest in this situation is learning to communicate about the pain and being in the experience of what that means in the present. Learn to listen, and both people should take responsibility for what created and led up to that event. It is time to re-examine your commitment - what are you committed to? What are the micro-commitments that you’re making to each other? Can you say goodbye to the old incarnation of your relationship, and re-commit to the new incarnation? In spite of the infidelity, the relationship can be even stronger, and commitment takes on a new meaning.   In particular, both partners must commit to revealing instead of concealing. Look at all the times when you are tempted to not be truthful in your life. Can you be truthful in a way that is gentle for your partner, and for yourself? Whenever you are tempted to “conceal” - recommit to the path of revealing - revealing who you actually are. It’s the committing and recommitting that gets you toward your goals in the relationship.   In Katie’s seminars, she teaches people to recognize the body sensations of feelings not being expressed and teaches them to open up. Can you tune in to what’s happening in your body when you start to conceal something? What’s the deeper feeling within you? Could you express that? Even a simple statement like “I’m feeling…” could free you from that pattern! Notice how much more energy becomes available for your relationship when you commit to speaking the truth about your experience in those moments! The point isn’t to be perfect - it’s a process that we repeat over and over again; however, following the path of Conscious Loving can help you experience more intimacy and fun along the way, even if you aren’t yet highly skilled at it. If fear is getting in the way, how does it shift if you see your partner as your ally? When you practice conscious loving, you will generate more energy to create with your partner because you’re spending less and less time with power struggles, conflict, and keeping score----all those old “games” that destroy relationships. Katie explains the “upper limit” problem in regards to your capacity to expand into giving and receiving love and positive energy each day. Can you honor your body’s need for rest and integration when things are getting better and better? If you don’t allow for that integration time, you may unconsciously create “problems” to give yourself that time. A common relationship problem is criticism and blame--#1 relationship killers!  That criticism can be verbal or non-verbal, but it should be replaced with a commitment to appreciate your partner. Note that criticizing YOURSELF is just as toxic to your relationship! Focusing on appreciation is the ONE thing you can do in your relationship to effect change today.  Strive for a 5:1 ratio of words of appreciation to words of criticism.   Katie has a sequel to her book coming out in October 2015: Conscious Loving Ever After:  How to Create Thriving Relationships From Midlife and Beyond.  I hope to have her return to the show soon to tell us more!     Links and Resources: www.foundationforconsciousliving.com  (Katie’s website with guidelines, tips, videos, and more!) www.hendricks.com   (Katie’s website with integrity skills, tips, and videos.) www.neilsattin.com/hendricks  is the direct link to this episode. Visit to download the show guide, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the show guide. If you download the guide within the first week of this episode's airing, you are automatically qualified for a chance to win a signed copy of “Conscious Loving”! Our Relationship Alive Community on Facebook Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out!

Luis Congdon is passionate about helping others , whether in relationships or with on-line businesses. Saying he had a challenging youth is an understatement. His mother was a cocaine addictand was murdered when Luis was five. Homeless for three years, Luis was finally adopted by an American family who unfortunately divorced a short time later, leaving Luis frustrated and confused. All this hardship gave Luis a deep desire to understand love, healthy relationships and the concept of mindfulness.Contact InfoEmail: LuisCongdon@gmail.com (mention you heard Luis on Bruce's Mindfulness Mode Podcast and you will receive a personal response.)Podcast: Lasting Love Connection and Thriving LaunchWebsite: www.LastingLoveConnections.com www.PodcastersSecretWeapon.com www.ThrivingLaunch.comMost Influential PersonMy (adoptive) mother.Effect on EmotionsSlowing down and creating some space between my sensations and my reactions or my impulses.Thoughts on BreathingBreathing is responsible for seventy per cent of the toxic release in our bodies. It outperforms toxic dump of emotions and actual toxins in our body. It outperforms any other practice or way that our body releases toxins. Taking time to deepen your breath and breath into your stomach and really breathing into where two-thirds of our lungs exist produces in our body a sense of calmness. It also triggers the mind and the vagus nerve in the mind that everything is safe.Suggested ResourcesBook: Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment by Gay HendricksApp: Pranayama Free - A meditation App which tells you when to breath.Advice for Newbie Start Simple. Meditation has become a very convoluted practice, a complicated system. Close your eyes, breath and see what happens.