Podcasts about Eldar

Miracle On Route 34: Part 2 Virginia and Santa face extreme danger together. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Someone attacked Santa with a wicked-looking spiked hand-axe, something out of a sci-fi movie. He batted the weapon aside and clapped his open hands across the man's ears, busting his brain. Before he dropped, Santa grabbed the corpse and swung it around in a wide arc, smashing it into the foes surrounding him and knocking them back. "Shit!" Ginny squealed as one of the targets landed near her. "It's like the fucking Matrix in here!" As he threw the corpse away, he paused very briefly and glanced at her. "Since you happen to be right there, how about a little mood music?" "What?" "I'm just saying some music would be nice if we're going to be doing this," he called. "You're next to the entertainment system, how about putting something on?" "You’re shitting me, right?" she almost complained, wincing as she heard something delicate-sounding and expensive smash behind her amidst the wild brawl. She stared at the multimedia system, flapping her arms in frustration as she tried to focus through the noise. This couldn't be happening. She clutched the sleeves of her plush robe for a moment, trying to concentrate on its soft, fuzzy texture and center herself. She'd almost forgotten the large nerf gun in her hands but ignored it now, fixing her gaze on the mp3 playlist. She pressed a button. "Silent night; Holy night;" Bing crooned through the room. "Not really what I had in mind!" Santa mentioned loudly as he rammed his knee into a man's chin. "Try again!" Ginny bit her lip and pressed the button again, this time rewarded with Gary Glitter singing 'Another Rock And Roll Christmas'. "Still not quite there," he said as he snapmared another foe. "Better, but not quite!" "Well I don't know!" she shouted in exasperation. "What kind of music do you put on while Santa kills things in your living room?" Santa turned sideways and thrust his foot out, kicking an intruder in the chest and sending him sprawling backwards, rolling head over heels until he thumped into the entertainment system, jolting it and skipping the player. "I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees? I am a slut, please hold me down, I'll be your noise, This shit will fuck you up!" "Perfect!" he declared as he fought, swarmed once again by foes. "Seriously?" Ginny yelled. "Combichrist is Santa's fucking fighting groove?" "I'm trying to figure out why you have it on your playlist," Santa replied. "I don't remember you liking aggrotech!" "Why the hell do you of all people even know what it is?" she shot back, wincing as she watched another body sail into the opposite wall with a sickening crunch before dropping to the floor and leaving a huge, crumbling dent in the stone. 'This Shit Will Fuck You Up!' "I prefer the term 'Hellektro' myself," he added. "And I know all songs, silly. I remember when the Dayglo Abortions wrote that 'Hey Santa!' song back in the '80's, they didn't get presents for” "I didn't ask, why are you answering?" she hissed. "Kill! Kill!" All the while, the pounding rhythms of the music filled the room. "I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees? I am a slut, please hold me down, I'll be your noise, This shit will fuck you up!" "Well, at least we know why it's on your playlist, anyway!" he mentioned as he broke someone's back over his knee. "Very funny, red man!" Ginny hissed, scowling. She ducked wildly as another assailant flew overhead and landed in the Jacuzzi, his neck slamming against the hard edge with a snap noise and then tilting at a strange angle, his eyes wide and unseeing. "Fucking hell," she muttered. "These guys eat too much red meat!" Santa smashed two heads together before punting a third man in the chest, sending him staggering back until he fell against the entertainment unit, right next to Ginny, his eyes spiraling in his head. She scowled down at him for a moment before smashing the pitcher of nog on his cranium and sending him to the floor. Every single intruder stopped and turned to look at her suddenly, their eyes narrowing and turning very yellow. "Eep;" Ginny said quietly, going pale. They all howled and lunged toward her, even as Santa fought to reach her first. She shrieked in fright. "Darn it, Ginny!" he shouted in what almost sounded like irritation. "I told you not to do anything!" "You said not to use the stupid nerf gun!" she shot back as she dodged wildly and began to run around, evading her pursuers. "I meant don't do anything to get yourself noticed!" he growled as he bulldogged one man's head into the floor. He sprang to his feet and grabbed another man by the back of the head, ramming his face into the stone wall, creating a small crater from which the body slumped only slowly and wetly. "How the hell did they not notice the mostly naked girl in the room?" she yelled, sprinting around the circumference of the room, being chased by yellow-eyed foes. "They're mostly quantum, they don't always perceive real-state things or beings until they're interacted with!" he answered. "They weren't looking for you until you announced yourself!" "Oh, you and your weird physics shit!" she groused, her robe coming more and more undone as she ran. One of her tits was exposed, bouncing annoyingly and the nipple hardening as a cold wind from the endless holes in her walls and windows blew into the room. "Now what?" "Well, since they know you're here, you might as well use the gun," he answered as he tackled a small knot of them who were looking to cut off her avenue of escape. "At least then you can defend yourself if you're careful!" "The fuck am I supposed to do?" she shouted angrily as she clutched the ridiculous, useless gun. "Nerf them to death? Hope I shoot one foam dart down a throat and hope the bastard chokes and dies?" "Didn't you just let me inside all of your orifices?" he pointed out as he spun low, sweeping one foe's feet from under him and then taking him by the ankles to slam him off the floor. "Trust me, Virginia!" "Dammit!" she spat, steeling her nerve, hoping her resolve was harder than her nipple currently was. Taking a deep breath, she stopped running and spun, pointing the gun and pulling the plastic trigger; She yelped in astonishment as coruscating arcs of lightning crackled and lashed out from the muzzle, enveloping several foes, who wailed in glowing agony before disappearing from view. "Jesus H Fucking Tesla!" she exclaimed in amazement as she gaped down at her toy. "Virginia, language!" Santa warned. She rolled her eyes and pointed at another man rushing her, pulling the trigger and watching him explode in a shower of scintillating particles. "This shit will fuck you up!" blared the speakers. The wall splintered next to Ginny and several terrifying creatures barged in, causing her to shriek in fright, they were easily Santa's size, vaguely humanoid but covered in a greyish, segmented carapace, with insectoid heads, evil-looking mandibles and huge claws at the end of four arms. They hissed as the lunged for her. "Fuck fuck fuck!" cried out as she began running. "Fucking hate motherfucking bugs!" She fired wildly behind herself without looking, managing to strike one of the new creatures but only slowing it down. Ginny raced for the stairs, stampeding up them only to find more of the yellow-eyed humanoids waiting for her. "Santa!" she cried out in terror. "Help!" He glanced her way and grimaced at her predicament. "Aw, hell;" With a strength born of the desperation to protect one of his precious children, he surged forward, shoulder-blocking his way through a knot of assailants, springing through the air with astonishing agility, alternately using the wall and railing of the stairs to get to the upper floor, twisting and executing a flying kick that downed a foe about to attack Ginny. "Good thing I wore my enhanced parkour boots tonight, eh?" he muttered as he glared at the foes crowding to get up the stairs or down the hallway at them. "I don't even know what that means." Ginny snapped, backing up warily as the horde coming for them grew in numbers. "If that's some sort of geek speak, then we, are you getting bigger?" "I guess I am," he replied, grimly, glaring at their foes. "I don't expect what I'm saying to make sense, but the other iterations of me, my other selves, they're all coming here, merging with me to help meet the threat." "You're; consolidating?" she asked in disbelief. "That's one way to look at it," he said, his blue eyes flashing. "It's gonna make finishing the Christmas run tight if I get held up here much longer." "Oh, terribly sorry if I'm inconveniencing you, your highness." Ginny said, trying to not sound too snide. He put his body between her and her foes, backing her up against the wall. "They can't come through the wall you're up against, it's the South wall," he said quietly but with a sense of urgency. "You're safe from that angle. You can fire your gun past me or over the rail at the guys down below. Since they're trying to reach you that means they've solidified enough that they can't do crazy things like jump seven meters up to reach you, they'll have to use the stairs." "I thought they were after you." Ginny said hotly. "They were, until you announced yourself with a jug of nog," he pointed out. "Now they want to destroy you to hurt me." "Oh. Sorry." Ginny mumbled somewhat sheepishly. "You can make it up to me later!" he said as he surged forward suddenly, bulling his way through the approaching crowd, clotheslining several at once. Shouts went up and the fight was on again. Santa punched, kicked, elbowed, kneed and wrenched his way through the enemy horde. Ginny swore he was indeed bigger than he had been earlier. His already hard body physique was almost bulging with muscles now, like a California beach bodybuilder. Black blood glistened on his flawless skin as he maimed the attackers. Droplets that hit the carpet sizzled and ate through it, burning the hardwood floor beneath. "No!" Ginny wailed in despair. "Not the hardwood! I loved that feature!" She glared and gritted her teeth as she leaned over the railing and pointed the nerf gun down at the endless crowd on the main floor, pulling the trigger. The crackling arcs of energy enveloped several foes, who wailed and vanished. Same as before, the giant insectoids rarely disappeared but seemed slowed or staggered by the attack. Santa fought his way forward, forcing the attackers back from Ginny. Try as they might, no one got by him, even if it meant that they could strike at him instead. He took their assaults resolutely, using his body as a shield to protect her. Before long, the floor of the hallway was littered with bodies, some barely stirring, others not moving at all. Still, the foes swarmed up the stairs. One of the bug-things swiped at him with its vicious claws and he ducked under the blow before kicking his boot into one of the reverse-jointed legs, snapping it. The bug screeched and tumbled and he leapt onto its back, grabbing hold of one of the large, wet-grey chitinous plates that armored its back and pulled, it tore away with a mushy crack and the beast's keened agony as it shuddered and thrashed. Without pausing, Santa whirled around and slammed the exoskeletal plate across several men's heads, dropping them. Ginny kept firing the nerf tesla gun, wondering what sort of sociopath would invent a deadly weapon that looked like a famous kid's toy. She pushed it from her mind, realizing that she wanted to live and didn't care at the moment about the social mores of the issue. Santa was using the huge chitin plate almost like a shield, driving his foes back with it to the stairs. It finally cracked in half and he punched through the mess, unwilling to give the enemy time to regroup. He spun one man around with a fist across the jaw before grabbing his arms from behind and ramming his knee into the man's back, lifting him off the floor and letting him slam his spine onto the stairs. Without waiting, Santa launched himself through the air, knee raised and smashed it into the face of a man on the stair's corner landing. The foe's head went back through the wall with a loud crunch and he hung there limply, no longer part of the battle. "Ack!" Ginny squawked as the nerf gun sputtered and let out several impotent flashes and then died. "Not now! No no no!" One foe had broken through the cordon and now raced toward her. She yelled loudly and smashed the butt of her nerf gun into his face, staggering him for a moment. She glared at him angrily, waiting for him to fall, but her didn't, so she kicked him in the crotch with her instep. He groaned and sunk to his knees, holding himself. Ginny was practically jumping up and down on top of him by the time he stopped moving. "Stay; the; fuck; down!" she shouted angrily as she turned his ribcage into powder. She failed to notice the one last foe who rushed up behind her. But then Santa was at her side and he delivered a devastating haymaker to the man's thorax. Stunned, the intruder staggered back against the railing. With a growl, Santa grabbed him by the face and ruthlessly bent his back over the railing before leaping over and slamming his elbow across the man's neck as he went down to the main floor. The lifeless form crumpled next to him as he looked around, glaring. No foes remained standing. Aside from the music, all was quiet. "It is safe?" Ginny called from the gallery. "Are the scary guys and bug-thingies all gone?" "No," Santa said warily. "And the next wave is even bigger." "Great!" Ginny complained, tossing the useless nerf gun over the side. "And according to you, there's no one that can help us!" "I didn't say that," he countered, beckoning for her to come down the stairs and be near him for protection. "I just said there was no Easter Bunny." "No Superman either, apparently," she grumbled as she approached him, letting him put a huge arm around her possessively. He was, indeed, bigger than ever. She was practically child-sized next to him now. "So who the hell is there to help us?" "If help's arriving it had better get here soon," he said, taking her to the remains of her big glass bay windows and back door. The wind was howling as snow drove into the living room. What was left of it, anyway. Which was nothing. "It's now or never. Can you see them?" She peered into the darkness outside and a chill ran down her spine, hundreds of red and yellow glowing eyes could be seen in the darkness. And they seemed to be getting closer. "Do; do they see me?" she asked, swallowing nervously. "I'm sure they do," he said, grimacing. "Not going to take a chance and assume they don't. I'll do everything I can to protect you, of course." "Is; is that going to be enough?" She could hear the angry hisses and an evil chanting outside clearly now, getting closer with each moment. It pained Santa that he couldn't lie to her. "I don't know, Virginia." She sighed and smiled weakly. "Well, at least I know there's a Santa Claus now. And he gave me the night of my life before it all ended." He returned the smile, trying to feign a cheerfulness he didn't feel. "I don't;" Ginny faltered, trying to find the words. "I don't suppose that you'd; well; that you'd be willing to kiss me one last time? You know, before the end?" He turned to look down at her, his hands holding her arms with an unreal gentleness and a warmth in his eyes that comforted her even now. "Nothing would make me happier, Virginia." She smiled and closed her eyes. "Merry Christmas, Santa." "Merry Christmas, Virginia;" he said softly as he leaned down to kiss her. Then the night was filled with high-pitched shrieks, a noise that made her eyes snap open. She'd heard noises like that before, once a long time ago in grade school. It sounds like the hissing passage of meteors above, and getting closer. Or what she imagined artillery sounded like when it was incoming, like in all those war movies. Santa's head turned and an almost evil grin crept over his face as he listened. "That's more like it!" he declared, standing tall and pointing at the blackness of the night. "Watch the sky, Virginia;" She looked up and noticed glittering points of light, dozens of them, seeming to get closer. The hissing shriek was indeed their approach and they seemed to be aimed right at them. She felt Santa's hand squeeze on her shoulder, almost in excitement. His blue eyes were blazing ferociously. Finally, what looked like dozens of giant icicles, each larger and longer than a semi, lanced out of the night sky and slammed into the earth around her house, shaking it as they buried their tips in the frozen ground and came to a stop. Several impaled the intruders as they came in, while others kicked up a covering spray of snow as the enemy stopped and looked around in confusion. Then doors or portals opened on the sides of the titan icicles and tall, lithe beings began leaping out of them, wearing weird, form-fitting armor and carrying space-age guns and swords or axes. Their armor and long hair was a riot of colors that was reflected by the snow and ice. Wild, ululating war cries pierced the air. And a savage, bloody battle began on her property. "Who the hell are they?" Ginny almost yelled in astonishment as she watched. They moved with inhuman grace and speed, the ones not wearing helmets revealing long, beautiful facial features that were often frightening because of the wrath they displayed. The helmets were all tall and peaked, showing fearsome designs and glowing eyes. Weird runes pulsed and throbbed with light all over their armor. Guns hissed and shrieked while swords hummed as they slew. "My elves," Santa said, clearly pleased and also eager to fight but not willing to leave her side yet. "They got my call and converged on my position." "Those are elves?" she exclaimed in amazement. "Aren't they cutesy little toy-shop people?" "Cute myth, but no, not these ones," he replied, watching as several elves wearing bone-white armor with feminine features raced past, throwing themselves into a knot of the hulking bugs. They screamed and the masks of their wild-maned helmets gave off vibrations that shook Ginny's teeth in her head as it melted their foes' faces off. "No, a lot of my elves are warriors, meant to help me fight Krampus. They keep Christmas safe with me." "What the hell are they wearing?" she asked in disbelief. How could this weird night get any weirder? Santa sighed. "Truth? They've been spending way too much time playing Warhammer 40k and they; appropriated armor, weapons and tactics from the Eldar faction. They're space elves." "Wow. Gay;" she muttered, shaking her head. "Well, they're certainly earning their keep tonight." He nodded. "Been a long time since Krampus moved against us this hard. Apparently he got bored and was feeling uppity. That or he just forgot what a good thrashing felt like." Ginny watched as three elves, clad in scary black armor and wearing helmets that looked like peaked skulls, marched relentlessly forward, firing little rockets from elaborate launchers they carried in their hands and on suspensor harnesses. The rockets punctured the bugs' chitin shells and exploded inside them, sending shards of exoskeleton and stinking goo in every direction. Ginny squeaked and hid behind Santa as some of the nasty effluence landed right where she'd been standing only a moment before. Beams of super-heated plasma and tiny, shuriken-like projectiles hissed and whizzed by them, the remains of her lovely house now the center of a battleground while the winter storm raged on. Warriors in green armor, carrying weapons that looked like a horrifying hybrid of sword and chainsaw, tore into a knot of foes, slicing them to bloody ribbons. As savage as the battle had been earlier, when it had just been her and Santa, she suddenly appreciated its relative civility. "They need my help," Santa said finally, cracking his knuckles, his expression grim. "We have to finish this off or Christmas won't come on time." "I thought you said there was plenty of time." Ginny protested, frowning up at him. "There was," he admitted. "But in order to defeat Krampus' minions, I summoned every single quantum iteration of myself back to here to help me fight. No one is delivering presents anywhere at the moment. I can't change real-time if I'm here in my entirety." He turned and looked at her. "Hopefully we're keeping them busy enough that they don't worry about you. Stay against the wall and work the music, will you?" "Manning the music station," she said, nodding, focusing on giving herself a task. "Music for Santa and his homicidal elves to kill by. Got it;" She watched as Santa leapt through the shattered remains of her bay doors into the howling storm and crashed into a knot of foes, savaging them. She watched in disbelief for some time, trying to figure out how Santa could kill anyone. I mean, even serial murderers got presents in prison, didn't they? Maybe they didn't, she had no way of knowing and chalked up thinking about this to what could only be described as the weirdest night of her life. She squealed and dodged out of the way as a body came flying through the doors and landed next to her. She scrambled over to the entertainment center and stood in front of it, trying to figure out what the hell she should play. "Okay;" she breathed, trying to focus. "Mass slaughter music; mass slaughter music;" What constituted mass slaughter music? Death metal? Panic At The Disco? Teletubbies music? She had no playlists, so she began cycling through the radio, hoping to find anything that might suffice. Oldies; Christmas music; hip-hop; trance; disco; "Son of a fuck," she muttered. "This is harder than it looks." She finally came across a station playing 'Jailhouse Rock' and decided that was good enough, she was sick of looking. She winced, trying to ignore another splintering crash as a body came through her wall. She hugged herself but then felt her robe. She frowned as she looked down at it, realizing it had been thoroughly shredded in the fight earlier. Those shuriken-thingies had been cutting it real close. Ginny grumbled as she pulled it off and threw it away, standing there completely naked, it hadn't been keeping her warm in its current condition and she was thoroughly beyond giving a shit at this point about who saw her naked. They were all too damn busy tearing one another apart anyway. And that sort of pissed her off. She was buck-naked and no one seemed to care. She'd shaved her cunt for this? "And I thought my night sucked before," she sighed to no one in particular. "Not getting my cunt pounded had been my biggest complaint before this hack!" She never saw the menacing shadow that had slipped up behind her. Santa picked one of his foes up overhead and hurled him into a cluster of foes, bowling them all over. He then punched another man as he tried to run by, knocking him off his feet and into his back. A quick stamp on his solar plexus made sure he stopped moving. The huge man thrust his fist in the air and shouted loudly. "Clear!" he thundered, indicating no other enemies surrounded him. His elves responded in kind, many of them gathering in a tight ring about him, weapons facing out as they sought to protect him. Hundreds of bodies lay strewn across the landscape, some burning from plasma blasts, other shredded and blown apart by rockets or sliced into bloody jerky. The storm seemed to be abating, no longer a blizzard so much as a stiff wind and swirls of snow. "Sire, we detect no enemies in the immediate vicinity," one elf wearing blue armor with a tall, crested helmet announced, striding up and saluting by thumping his gauntleted fist over his heart. "This attack has been defeated." "Maybe," Santa said, looking around warily. "But that doesn't mean anything just yet. We have to secure the area, make sure Virginia is alright and then get back to” "Kringle!" "Damn," he muttered to himself. "I thought this was too easy." He made several complex gestures, sending his elves fanning out in a wide arc as he began trudging forward through the snow, heading toward where the voice had come from out of the night. The winds and squalls of snow continued to die down until there was an almost deafening silence, the moon shining brightly overhead and revealing the sheer carnage of the battle that had been waged, the snow and ice glittered with frozen blood. "Kringle!" snarled the inhuman voice angrily. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" Santa said loudly, scowling. "Don't get your panties in a bunch!" He stopped in a clearing on the other side of the house, glowering at who confronted him, the beast was not as tall as he was, nor as muscular, but horrifying in aspect. The backward-jointed, hairy legs ended in wicked hooves. The skin not covered in coarse black fur was almost as dark and criss-crossed with innumerable scars. The vascular chest was crowned with a strong neck and sitting atop it was a blasphemous head, a demonic goat's visage from which grew four evil, twisting horns. The red eyes blazed like wrathful coals and sharp teeth glistened wetly inside the hateful mouth. Krampus. And in one of his powerful, clawed hands, he held Virginia by the neck, who looked like a rag doll. "Hi, Santa;" she said weakly, looking very apologetic. Santa kept walking forward, clenching his fists. "By all means, Kringle, keep coming forward if you mean to slay the child." Krampus growled, starting to squeeze and causing Ginny to shudder in fear. Santa stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes narrowing. His elves had now cast a tight net around the scene, hemming in Krampus. One circle of warriors faced inward, pointing their weapons at the abomination while another behind them faced out, prepared for any further attacks. Santa didn't move. "Let the girl go, Krampus," he said levelly. "This doesn't concern her." "Oh, I beg to differ," said the beastman in an almost non-chalant tone. "It's always about the children, isn't it?" "Hey!" said Ginny angrily. "I am not a child, jerk! I'm twenty, Gurr!" "Oh, do stop talking, you're such an annoyance." Krampus said, giving her neck another warning squeeze. "Let the adults work this out." "There's nothing to work out, Krampus," Santa growled, his blue eyes flashing. "You'll let the girl go." "I think we both know that's not happening," intoned the vile intruder. "She is my victory over you, and you know it. Revenge is not only a dish best served cold but often. And not often enough for me." "About this cold revenge dish thing," Ginny said, squirming slightly. "Couldn't; couldn't I just find you a nice tin can to chew on instead?" "Shut up, girl!" Krampus said harshly while several elves could be heard to chuckle and even Santa smirked at her jest. "I hold your life in my hands, to dispose of as I please." His foul breath crackled in the cold night air. His touch was uncomfortably warm, almost hot and strangely kept her body from freezing in the winter night. His touch felt evil and her skin crawled in revulsion. His strength was terrifying. "It wasn't enough that I slaved in coal mines for you, giving you carbon lumps to deliver to naughty children," Krampus growled, glaring at Santa. "It wasn't enough that I found the worst of them and brought them to you in the night so you could lecture them." "Hey, nobody asked you or ordered you to do the coal thing, pal," Santa said angrily. "And the whole kidnapping kids thing was your idea. I decided to let you have some creative control and look what happened. When it didn't work out, you decided that beating naughty kids with reeds was the answer. You're damn right that wasn't good enough!" "Silence!" Krampus snarled loudly, stamping one of his clawed hooves and making the ground shake dangerously. "Your kind-hearted foolishness with these puny mortals changed nothing about their behavior! Your failure to recognize their inherent selfishness was why our efforts were doomed!" "These puny mortals?" Santa countered. "You used to be one of them, Pete, remember? You were a well-behaved boy once." "Shut up!" growled Krampus. "Well-behaved, but not good," Santa continued. "You followed the rules and wanted everyone to follow rules. You were a control freak. I brought you north to show you what kindness could do, but you hated the cheer and the happiness and you fled to the coal mines in Greenland, hiding in the dark where the light of Christmas couldn't touch you! And when making kids feel bad with coal didn't bring them into line, you started the whole whipping them with reeds thing. Good job there, Pete!" "I'm warning you, Kringle;" Krampus said dangerously. "Oh, he really gets your goat, doesn't he?" Ginny sneered, causing several elves to laugh loudly. Krampus now snarled furiously and lifted her into the air by her neck, causing her to cry out in pain. Santa watched warily, knowing better than to make a move. "We seem to have an impasse," Krampus said, an evil smile playing over his slavering mouth. "You cannot harm me, because you know I can slay the child, but I cannot as yet slay her because she is my bargaining chip. But my need to hurt you, old man, is so very strong." He lowered Ginny down until her feet were just touching the snow-covered ground. She frowned as she heard a wet slithering sound she could not identify. "And there are other ways to hurt you than slaying the poor dear, aren't there?" Ginny felt something slimy touch her leg and then start to crawl up it, wrapping around her smooth skin. She shuddered and squirmed in horror as she realized exactly what was happening. The snake-like appendage wound up her thigh and then behind her. She gasped as it slid between her ass cheeks and then underneath to her cunt. She felt the blunt head split her lips and then move upward again. "Don't do this, Krampus." Santa said, trying to figure out what to do without hurting Ginny. "And why not?" replied the qliphotic abomination. "Don't you have a present for me? Then I guess I'll have to give myself one." Krampus' organ continued to slither its way around her body, leaving a glistening trail on her skin. She stiffened and moaned as his appendage wrapped around her tits, squeezing them, the head pausing and teasing the nipples. "Hey, asshole, dinner and a movie first!" she spat angrily. Ginny was about to say something else when the large, grayish cockhead snaked up in front of her face and then plunged into her mouth, causing her to gag and go silent. Her eyes widened and she thrashed furiously, but to no avail. He was simply too strong. "Language, young lady." Krampus chided, still staring at Santa. "Hasn't Santa taught you anything?" "This isn't gonna end well for you, Pete." Santa said, his tone dire. "Christmas never does, Kringle," replied the demon, his cock sliding in and out of Ginny's mouth. "I'm just hoping to make the holiday every bit as awful and intolerable for you as it is for me. After all, misery loves company." He brought her body close to his head and his other hand reached over and stroked her cunt lips, which were glistening. He leered at his foe, knowing Santa was helpless to get closer. "Is she good down here?" Krampus said mockingly. "Nice and wet and tight for you? Was she the best one ever, in the endless list of good girls you have fucked?" Santa said nothing, just glaring at Krampus. His knuckles were white as he clenched his fists. "Sharing your toys is the spirit of Christmas, isn't it?" Krampus said evilly, finally pulling his cock out of her mouth. Ginny coughed and sputtered, tendrils of resinous spittle and worse trailing away from her lips. She glared at Krampus but was still immobilized. "Just get this over with and fuck me already, whip-cock," she spat. "You won't be my first egotistical disappointment, trust me." Krampus' eyes blazed red and his tongue sped around her naked form blindingly quickly while he released her from his clawed grip. The tongue wrapped and immobilized her arms, holding them out straight while still encircling her tits. It then snaked around her waist and legs, pinning those as well while his long cock, swaying about like a cobra, came to a stop in front of her swollen cunt lips. The head teased and tapped against the opening, causing her to moan and squirm. "As you wish, child;" The head forced itself through her lips, sliding deep inside her. Ginny cried out in a mixture of shock and indescribable pleasure. She felt the tip of his pointed tongue probe trailing around her nipples. The python-like length of his cock churned inside her cunt. The blinding light behind her eyes finally receded and she lifted her head, looking out into the night, feeling his tongue constricting around her neck. She could dimly see a huge being in red pants and black boots watching nearby, his powerful chest exposed. The startling blue eyes flashed in the darkness of the night. She could tell he wanted to rescue her but didn't dare come closer. She gasped and shuddered as Krampus' cock pushed still deeper inside her. She felt fuller than she had imagined possible, the slithering appendage stretching her wide. The sticky, squelching noises were hardly to be believed. "Ew, gross! Hentai noises!" she thought in revulsion. "Krampus;" Santa warned. His elves all pointed their weapons menacingly but he held up his hand, staying them. "The child is naughty," Krampus said, smiling through pointed teeth. "Very naughty. Such a sordid past." "Hey, back off, she was young and needed the money!" Santa snapped defensively. "That thing with the midget and the donkey was” "You're not helping here!" Ginny shouted, blushing furiously, even as Krampus violated her. "Wicked child," growled the vile demon, shoving his cock in and out of her, the peristaltic actions of its length causing her to writhe and squirm in his grip, her breath coming in ragged gasps. "Shameless. Even though I violate her, she finds a way to be concerned about how you perceive her. I find it; titillating." "Oh, do I make you horny?" she sneered, turning her head to smirk at him. "Couldn't tell, looking at that head of yours." "Silence!" Krampus hissed, spittle flying from his jaws, his eyes flashing angrily. "I hold your life and death in my hands." "How would I know?" she shot back. "Hope you're better with your hands than you are with your cock, Billy G." He plunged his cock deeper still inside her. She went rigid and cried out. "That all you got?" she rasped, trying not to faint as she felt popping inside her hips while he stetched her. "My brother got in deeper than that when we were little!" "Insolent!" Krampus snarled savagely, bouncing her up and down and he fucked her harder than ever, pulling on her arms and legs, stretching her joints til they creaked. She felt a deep, wet heat building inside her and in spite of the horror she consciously felt about the situation, even more dire was her need to cum. She felt her cunt squeezing around his cock. His snake-like tongue probed her ass and wriggled inside, further adding to her desperation. "Intholent bith, you will be punithed!" "What was that?" Santa asked, turning his head slightly and putting his hand to his ear. "I couldn't understand you, it's like you have a lisp or something." "Don't mock meef!" Krampus said angrily, his tongue whipping out of Ginny's ass, causing her to yelp suddenly. "I'll kill her, Kringle!" "Not before I cum, damn you!" Ginny panted, her body flushed and covered in sweat as she twisted and writhed in his grip. "Uh, so close, goddammit!" "Language!" Santa and Krampus both snapped at her. "Aw, c'mon!" she wailed. "You two are total pains in the ass! Do it, Billy! Show me what a bad boy you are!" Krampus glared at her and began fucking her harder than ever. "As you wish, child!" "Krampus!" Santa shouted, reaching out his hand in alarm. "Don't!" Krampus grinned evilly at Santa, his teeth clenching as he drew close to climax. His cock seemed to swell along its length, stretching her wider still. She threw her head back and gritted her teeth, straining as she was overwhelmed by sensation; Santa's fist slammed across Krampus' jaw with a powerful crack. The demonoid's eyes rolled into his head and he crumpled to the ground. Ginny wailed in frustration as his cock pulled out of her and retreated back to his body, like a wet, slimy Stanley tape measure. She collapsed to her hands and knees in the snow, panting and shaking, her eyes wide. Santa raced up and knelt next to her, his eyes shining with concern. "Fuck;" Ginny whispered, gasping for air. "Motherfucker;" She looked up at her rescuer now, her eyes flashing accusingly. "The hell? Couldn't you have let him make me cum first?" Santa paused. "What?" "I was so damn close!" she hissed, standing up and stamping her foot. "I was within half a second of the orgasm of my life and you had to choose that moment to intervene and play the hero! Don't expect a thank you card!" "Uh, Virginia," Santa said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, trying to figure out what to say. "If he had brought you to orgasm, it would have killed you. When Krampus climaxes, his appendage you were so attached to bursts into spikes, basically killing you from the inside while denying you your orgasm." She paused and then deflated. "Holy cobra dildos. What a bastard." Ginny then pointed a finger at her savior. "But you still owe me an orgasm, then, pal. You may have rescued me from certain death, but that doesn't mean I don't need relief." Santa looked really confused. "What, here? Now?" "Damn straight," she said firmly, suddenly remembering she was buck naked in a snow-storm. In spite of the no-doubt freezing weather, her body was still warm and very wet with need. She put her hand down her cunt and felt around for a moment before presenting her sticky palm and fingers to Santa for inspection. "Do I look satisfied to you? You've already fucked me, Screamo the Goat Boy just fucked me, who cares if your freaky gay elves watch us? I need satisfaction now and I already am aware that you can't say no." Santa sighed. "It's gotta be quick, Virginia. I'm really behind, now that I'm completely temporal in one location." "Whatever, just get me to the promised land, man." Ginny replied, shrugging. "Who knows, maybe your entourage might enjoy a show." "Oh, right, about that," Santa said, standing up tall and shouting loudly. "About; Face!" As a single unit, the elves all turned around smartly on their heels, still arranged in a protective ring around their liege and his companion, weapons ready as they scanned the darkness for trouble, their eyes glowing menacingly inside their helmets. Santa strode up to Ginny, towering over her and ignoring the prostrate form of the still-unconscious Krampus, snuffling nearby. She smiled up at him, somehow warmed by his presence, in spite of the icy night she should have frozen to death in already. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. She moaned into his mouth as she felt her already molten core getting even more heated in response to his touch. Tongues tangled and played as he took her ass cheeks in his hands and squeezed them, making her shiver. Ginny's hands fumbled with his large black belt until it fell away and then pulled down his red pants. He pulled her onto his powerful thighs, resting her on them. She hooked her legs behind his waist and began grinding her wet, eager cunt against his hardening cock, which swelled readily. Her head was almost spinning, she was so horny. "Hmm, give it to me, baby," she purred, feeling the head of his cock touch her cunt lips. "Make me cum hard and fast." She sighed loudly as he pulled her close, penetrating and sliding deep inside her. Ginny moaned shamelessly as Santa once again began to pump back and forth inside her. His huge cock stretched her cunt wide, but not in the violent, violating way Krampus did. This felt warm and utterly perfect. She nipped at the skin of his chest while he moved in and out of her. "Yes," Ginny breathed as he began to moved faster, pumping strongly and rhythmically. She could feel her wetness trickling down between her cheeks, her cunt clutching at him hungrily, greedily and unwilling to let go until it was somehow sated. "Oh, God, just what I needed. Yes, fuck me, Santa!" He gripped her tight and thrust into her, picking up his pace just the way she wanted. She was gasping and yelping now and he squeezed her cheeks, one of his fingers poking inside her puckered knot. She clenched her teeth and groaned at the intrusion, murmuring that she loved it. She grew warmer and warmer, her body tingling with an exquisite fire that rippled out from her core. Santa turned her around and set her feet on top of his boots, bending her forward and pulling on her arms. She cried out as he fucked her harder, his hips thumping against her ass cheeks. Her hands clenched wildly, her breath coming in gasps as his overwhelming strength dominated her. "Oh, God!" she panted, beginning to shudder uncontrollably, almost drooling. "Uh, cum in me, dammit! Fucking cum in me!" Santa pulled on her arms even tighter as his thighs slammed into her. Ginny strained, craning her neck, teeth clenched as she tried not to scream, but it was no use, she wailed loudly as he came inside her, filling her once again in a way she could not describe. Her orgasm shook every last atom of her being, transporting her to a world of nothing but pleasure, edged with mint. She buckled, hanging loosely in his arms, exhausted. She'd been fucked hard at least five times tonight and had a dreadful suspicion that this experience would only make her libido even more hyperactive. She sighed as Santa scooped her naked form into his arms and cuddled her against the cold. Ginny purred and traced a fingernail across his broad chest. "Thank you," she said quietly. "Just what the doctor ordered. That quenched the flames, for now." He finally put her down and she looked at the remains of her ruined chateau, which was completely leveled and now on fire. "Poor Oatmeal," she murmured. "Where am I going to live?" She scowled down at the still supine Krampus, anger flaring in her. "It's this jack wagon’s fault. You should totally napalm his face." Santa looked down at her in shock. "Did you just say I should jerk off in Krampus' face?" "Damn right, he'd deserve it too." Ginny announced. "That and shove your sleigh up his ass." "I am not jizzing in Krampus' face." Santa said, clearly repulsed by the suggestion. "Fine, leave a woman to do a man's job," Ginny said testily, striding over to Krampus and putting one leg on either side of his head. She stuck three fingers inside her cunt and managed to tease out considerable amounts of Santa's minty cum, which she smeared all over Krampus' face and into his fur with glee, even giving him a glistening white moustache. "Take that, asshole!" She looked like she might have been done desecrating the unconscious form, but then she paused and squatted over him, peeing on his body and face, the stream steaming in the cold night air. She grinned evilly as she thoroughly baptized him. "Teach you to mess with me." Ginny muttered as she walked back to Santa, nodding. The huge man had a wide smirk on his face and shook his head slowly. "I can't believe you just pissed all over Krampus," he said, hugging her to him. "However, you're going to freeze to death at this rate;" He held out his hand and one of his elves dutifully brought him a large, velvety red cloak, which he wrapped around her. She blushed and smiled gratefully at his consideration, but only until he slid it off her, revealing that she was now wearing some ridiculous 'Hot Christmas Elf' outfit, complete with striped stockings and high heels. She looked like a Yule whore. "Seriously?" she asked, unimpressed. "This is your solution to my naked issues?" He shrugged. "I liked you better naked, but you would freeze quickly." "Whatever," she sighed, looking down and appreciating the considerable lift it gave her cleavage. It was incredibly warm, in spite of how scant it was. "So now what? I still have no damn home, you and Goatse here blew it up with your little barnyard brawl." Santa looked around warily. "That might be the least of your worries. The wind's picking up again, which means that another assault is coming. We need to get out of here." "Sire!" said one of the armored elves, thumping his fist to his breastplate and bowing his head. "We will cover you. You must go while you still have a head-start and the dark one is unconscious." Santa nodded. "Yeah, he's not gonna be happy when he wakes up and he's really gonna want revenge on you, Virginia." She felt her mouth go dry at the notion of another battle and Krampus waking up to even the score. "So; now what?" Santa shrugged. "I'd say it's fairly obvious. I've still got to make my rounds before the night is over and I'm not leaving you here;" She gaped as he put his hands on her shoulders and looked down into her eyes. "Virginia, you're coming with me and you're going to help save Christmas." Chapter 3, Christmas Wishes "How the hell do you drive this thing?" Ginny called in a panic, her eyes wide as she held onto the reigns, twisting them wildly as she tried to steer. Up ahead of her, eight large reindeer squealed and thrashed their heads. The sleigh corkscrewed while it hurtled through the cold night air, the moon shining down on them. "Well, first of all, stop panicking," Santa replied as he stood on the back of the sleigh, atop his huge red sack of toys. He was more or less back to his original size she had become accustomed to, now that he had sent his other 'iterations' of himself out over the globe to deliver presents. "That would be an excellent start." "Easy for you to say," she snapped, scowling back at him for a moment since taking her eyes off her designated path seemed to make no difference to how she was doing at navigating. "You're used to doing this!" "Trust me, between the two of us, you're the one with the easy job right now and I'd be happy to trade," he called back as he ducked wildly. A comically large rocket thundered by, with an evil-looking man strapped to the bottom of it, swinging a weapon wildly to hit Santa. "Try to keep her steady!" "While dodging psychos on rockets, no problem!" she grumbled, trying to ignore the howling wind and roaring projectiles. "Have I mentioned Krampus is a gigantic asshole?" "Repeatedly," Santa answered, watching warily. The sky was threaded with jets of fire as their enemies kept coming about in ponderous, elliptical arcs and heading back towards them, intent on their destruction. They had only just pulled off from the smoldering remains of Ginny's country chateau when the assault began. Krampus was nowhere to be seen, but his minions were clearly determined to avenge him. "Maybe urinating on him wasn't such a good idea. He never did take humiliation well." Ginny squawked in alarm and ducked as a rocket streaked right at her. Santa jumped in the air, doing the splits to avoid the projectile and landing back on top of his present sack. Another tried to pull up alongside them but Santa grabbed the harness the man was wearing and wrenched the rocket off course, sending it speeding into one some distance away. Both rockets (and presumably their pilots) exploded in a violent orgy of noise and flashing lights. "Really hope people just think those are fireworks," Santa muttered as he looked glared balefully at yet another rocket considering approaching. "Fireworks right in the middle of the world's most spastic meteor shower. Sure, they'll buy that;" "Funny part is I can't tell if you're serious," Ginny said loudly. "If they don't believe that narrative, then they've gotta accept that Santa Claus was engaged in an epic air battle over their town with quantum men strapped to rockets." "Truth is often stranger than fiction," Santa agreed, nodding. "Fighting these jerks off is taking too much time!" "Well, don't you have anything in your back of tricks there?" Ginny asked. In spite of the sleigh being open, it seemed to have some weird form of climate control and she'd been getting rather warm. To that end she'd pulled down her top, exposing her tits to cool herself off. The breeze allowed through made her nipples tingle delightfully, but not enough to distract her from driving the sleigh. After all, she often drove ninety minutes to her job wearing a vibrating insert in her panties, so she knew for a fact she could orgasm and still control a vehicle. A wheeled one, at least. She wasn't so sure about a sleigh doing Mach Three at twenty thousand feet. "You mean a weapon?" Santa asked. "In the bag full of toys for kids?" "You gave me a nerf gun out of that bag and it turned out to be some sort of doomsday device, didn't it?" she pointed out. "Scary lightning bolts everywhere. I refuse to believe you don't have some other goodies in there." Santa shrugged and squatted down to look inside the bag, getting narrowly missed by another rocket that shot over his head. The pilot cursed and came around again, aiming directly at the chassis of the sleigh from the side. Ginny's eyes widened in fright as she saw him approach. She jerked the reins to one side and the sleigh tilted ninety degrees, presenting its wide, flat red underside. The rocket slammed into it and exploded. Whatever it was made of or whatever shielding was in place, Ginny only heard the detonation and felt a rumble, but there was no damage aside from that. "Ha!" Santa said, standing tall and holding an electric guitar in the air, its black body gleamed in the moonlight. He put the strap around his neck and took several seconds to tune it, ignoring the aerial mayhem that swirled around him. "The hell are you going to do with that?" Ginny asked, scowling as she looked behind to see what he was up to. "You said to find something, I found something," he said simply as he checked the pickups. "Now let's see what we can do here;" He took the pick in hand and strummed it across the strings, a screeching pulse of sound blared out from the instrument, heading in all directions. It struck several rockets nearby, which exploded brightly. Other were knocked off course, spiraling around crazily as they fought for control. Santa laughed loudly, apparently enjoying himself. "Quit laughing and kill, red man!" Ginny yelled, nonplussed by his amusement. "I want to survive the night and I've had several close calls with death already!" "I'm working on it, Virginia, patience." Santa chided, adjusting the tuners momentarily. "Near-death experiences make you cranky." "No shit, Sherlock," she grumbled as he blasted out another screeching wave of sound. "Do you plan to play anything or just keep shrieking out that one sound?" "As you wish," he said cheerfully, pleased to be doing as she asked. Making her happy was all he cared about. He began playing a heavy metal version of Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkyries', the pulsing walls of sound thundering out and striking every foe within hundreds of

Miracle On Route 34: Part 2 Virginia and Santa face extreme danger together. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Someone attacked Santa with a wicked-looking spiked hand-axe, something out of a sci-fi movie. He batted the weapon aside and clapped his open hands across the man's ears, busting his brain. Before he dropped, Santa grabbed the corpse and swung it around in a wide arc, smashing it into the foes surrounding him and knocking them back. "Shit!" Ginny squealed as one of the targets landed near her. "It's like the fucking Matrix in here!" As he threw the corpse away, he paused very briefly and glanced at her. "Since you happen to be right there, how about a little mood music?" "What?" "I'm just saying some music would be nice if we're going to be doing this," he called. "You're next to the entertainment system, how about putting something on?" "You’re shitting me, right?" she almost complained, wincing as she heard something delicate-sounding and expensive smash behind her amidst the wild brawl. She stared at the multimedia system, flapping her arms in frustration as she tried to focus through the noise. This couldn't be happening. She clutched the sleeves of her plush robe for a moment, trying to concentrate on its soft, fuzzy texture and center herself. She'd almost forgotten the large nerf gun in her hands but ignored it now, fixing her gaze on the mp3 playlist. She pressed a button. "Silent night; Holy night;" Bing crooned through the room. "Not really what I had in mind!" Santa mentioned loudly as he rammed his knee into a man's chin. "Try again!" Ginny bit her lip and pressed the button again, this time rewarded with Gary Glitter singing 'Another Rock And Roll Christmas'. "Still not quite there," he said as he snapmared another foe. "Better, but not quite!" "Well I don't know!" she shouted in exasperation. "What kind of music do you put on while Santa kills things in your living room?" Santa turned sideways and thrust his foot out, kicking an intruder in the chest and sending him sprawling backwards, rolling head over heels until he thumped into the entertainment system, jolting it and skipping the player. "I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees? I am a slut, please hold me down, I'll be your noise, This shit will fuck you up!" "Perfect!" he declared as he fought, swarmed once again by foes. "Seriously?" Ginny yelled. "Combichrist is Santa's fucking fighting groove?" "I'm trying to figure out why you have it on your playlist," Santa replied. "I don't remember you liking aggrotech!" "Why the hell do you of all people even know what it is?" she shot back, wincing as she watched another body sail into the opposite wall with a sickening crunch before dropping to the floor and leaving a huge, crumbling dent in the stone. 'This Shit Will Fuck You Up!' "I prefer the term 'Hellektro' myself," he added. "And I know all songs, silly. I remember when the Dayglo Abortions wrote that 'Hey Santa!' song back in the '80's, they didn't get presents for” "I didn't ask, why are you answering?" she hissed. "Kill! Kill!" All the while, the pounding rhythms of the music filled the room. "I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees? I am a slut, please hold me down, I'll be your noise, This shit will fuck you up!" "Well, at least we know why it's on your playlist, anyway!" he mentioned as he broke someone's back over his knee. "Very funny, red man!" Ginny hissed, scowling. She ducked wildly as another assailant flew overhead and landed in the Jacuzzi, his neck slamming against the hard edge with a snap noise and then tilting at a strange angle, his eyes wide and unseeing. "Fucking hell," she muttered. "These guys eat too much red meat!" Santa smashed two heads together before punting a third man in the chest, sending him staggering back until he fell against the entertainment unit, right next to Ginny, his eyes spiraling in his head. She scowled down at him for a moment before smashing the pitcher of nog on his cranium and sending him to the floor. Every single intruder stopped and turned to look at her suddenly, their eyes narrowing and turning very yellow. "Eep;" Ginny said quietly, going pale. They all howled and lunged toward her, even as Santa fought to reach her first. She shrieked in fright. "Darn it, Ginny!" he shouted in what almost sounded like irritation. "I told you not to do anything!" "You said not to use the stupid nerf gun!" she shot back as she dodged wildly and began to run around, evading her pursuers. "I meant don't do anything to get yourself noticed!" he growled as he bulldogged one man's head into the floor. He sprang to his feet and grabbed another man by the back of the head, ramming his face into the stone wall, creating a small crater from which the body slumped only slowly and wetly. "How the hell did they not notice the mostly naked girl in the room?" she yelled, sprinting around the circumference of the room, being chased by yellow-eyed foes. "They're mostly quantum, they don't always perceive real-state things or beings until they're interacted with!" he answered. "They weren't looking for you until you announced yourself!" "Oh, you and your weird physics shit!" she groused, her robe coming more and more undone as she ran. One of her tits was exposed, bouncing annoyingly and the nipple hardening as a cold wind from the endless holes in her walls and windows blew into the room. "Now what?" "Well, since they know you're here, you might as well use the gun," he answered as he tackled a small knot of them who were looking to cut off her avenue of escape. "At least then you can defend yourself if you're careful!" "The fuck am I supposed to do?" she shouted angrily as she clutched the ridiculous, useless gun. "Nerf them to death? Hope I shoot one foam dart down a throat and hope the bastard chokes and dies?" "Didn't you just let me inside all of your orifices?" he pointed out as he spun low, sweeping one foe's feet from under him and then taking him by the ankles to slam him off the floor. "Trust me, Virginia!" "Dammit!" she spat, steeling her nerve, hoping her resolve was harder than her nipple currently was. Taking a deep breath, she stopped running and spun, pointing the gun and pulling the plastic trigger; She yelped in astonishment as coruscating arcs of lightning crackled and lashed out from the muzzle, enveloping several foes, who wailed in glowing agony before disappearing from view. "Jesus H Fucking Tesla!" she exclaimed in amazement as she gaped down at her toy. "Virginia, language!" Santa warned. She rolled her eyes and pointed at another man rushing her, pulling the trigger and watching him explode in a shower of scintillating particles. "This shit will fuck you up!" blared the speakers. The wall splintered next to Ginny and several terrifying creatures barged in, causing her to shriek in fright, they were easily Santa's size, vaguely humanoid but covered in a greyish, segmented carapace, with insectoid heads, evil-looking mandibles and huge claws at the end of four arms. They hissed as the lunged for her. "Fuck fuck fuck!" cried out as she began running. "Fucking hate motherfucking bugs!" She fired wildly behind herself without looking, managing to strike one of the new creatures but only slowing it down. Ginny raced for the stairs, stampeding up them only to find more of the yellow-eyed humanoids waiting for her. "Santa!" she cried out in terror. "Help!" He glanced her way and grimaced at her predicament. "Aw, hell;" With a strength born of the desperation to protect one of his precious children, he surged forward, shoulder-blocking his way through a knot of assailants, springing through the air with astonishing agility, alternately using the wall and railing of the stairs to get to the upper floor, twisting and executing a flying kick that downed a foe about to attack Ginny. "Good thing I wore my enhanced parkour boots tonight, eh?" he muttered as he glared at the foes crowding to get up the stairs or down the hallway at them. "I don't even know what that means." Ginny snapped, backing up warily as the horde coming for them grew in numbers. "If that's some sort of geek speak, then we, are you getting bigger?" "I guess I am," he replied, grimly, glaring at their foes. "I don't expect what I'm saying to make sense, but the other iterations of me, my other selves, they're all coming here, merging with me to help meet the threat." "You're; consolidating?" she asked in disbelief. "That's one way to look at it," he said, his blue eyes flashing. "It's gonna make finishing the Christmas run tight if I get held up here much longer." "Oh, terribly sorry if I'm inconveniencing you, your highness." Ginny said, trying to not sound too snide. He put his body between her and her foes, backing her up against the wall. "They can't come through the wall you're up against, it's the South wall," he said quietly but with a sense of urgency. "You're safe from that angle. You can fire your gun past me or over the rail at the guys down below. Since they're trying to reach you that means they've solidified enough that they can't do crazy things like jump seven meters up to reach you, they'll have to use the stairs." "I thought they were after you." Ginny said hotly. "They were, until you announced yourself with a jug of nog," he pointed out. "Now they want to destroy you to hurt me." "Oh. Sorry." Ginny mumbled somewhat sheepishly. "You can make it up to me later!" he said as he surged forward suddenly, bulling his way through the approaching crowd, clotheslining several at once. Shouts went up and the fight was on again. Santa punched, kicked, elbowed, kneed and wrenched his way through the enemy horde. Ginny swore he was indeed bigger than he had been earlier. His already hard body physique was almost bulging with muscles now, like a California beach bodybuilder. Black blood glistened on his flawless skin as he maimed the attackers. Droplets that hit the carpet sizzled and ate through it, burning the hardwood floor beneath. "No!" Ginny wailed in despair. "Not the hardwood! I loved that feature!" She glared and gritted her teeth as she leaned over the railing and pointed the nerf gun down at the endless crowd on the main floor, pulling the trigger. The crackling arcs of energy enveloped several foes, who wailed and vanished. Same as before, the giant insectoids rarely disappeared but seemed slowed or staggered by the attack. Santa fought his way forward, forcing the attackers back from Ginny. Try as they might, no one got by him, even if it meant that they could strike at him instead. He took their assaults resolutely, using his body as a shield to protect her. Before long, the floor of the hallway was littered with bodies, some barely stirring, others not moving at all. Still, the foes swarmed up the stairs. One of the bug-things swiped at him with its vicious claws and he ducked under the blow before kicking his boot into one of the reverse-jointed legs, snapping it. The bug screeched and tumbled and he leapt onto its back, grabbing hold of one of the large, wet-grey chitinous plates that armored its back and pulled, it tore away with a mushy crack and the beast's keened agony as it shuddered and thrashed. Without pausing, Santa whirled around and slammed the exoskeletal plate across several men's heads, dropping them. Ginny kept firing the nerf tesla gun, wondering what sort of sociopath would invent a deadly weapon that looked like a famous kid's toy. She pushed it from her mind, realizing that she wanted to live and didn't care at the moment about the social mores of the issue. Santa was using the huge chitin plate almost like a shield, driving his foes back with it to the stairs. It finally cracked in half and he punched through the mess, unwilling to give the enemy time to regroup. He spun one man around with a fist across the jaw before grabbing his arms from behind and ramming his knee into the man's back, lifting him off the floor and letting him slam his spine onto the stairs. Without waiting, Santa launched himself through the air, knee raised and smashed it into the face of a man on the stair's corner landing. The foe's head went back through the wall with a loud crunch and he hung there limply, no longer part of the battle. "Ack!" Ginny squawked as the nerf gun sputtered and let out several impotent flashes and then died. "Not now! No no no!" One foe had broken through the cordon and now raced toward her. She yelled loudly and smashed the butt of her nerf gun into his face, staggering him for a moment. She glared at him angrily, waiting for him to fall, but her didn't, so she kicked him in the crotch with her instep. He groaned and sunk to his knees, holding himself. Ginny was practically jumping up and down on top of him by the time he stopped moving. "Stay; the; fuck; down!" she shouted angrily as she turned his ribcage into powder. She failed to notice the one last foe who rushed up behind her. But then Santa was at her side and he delivered a devastating haymaker to the man's thorax. Stunned, the intruder staggered back against the railing. With a growl, Santa grabbed him by the face and ruthlessly bent his back over the railing before leaping over and slamming his elbow across the man's neck as he went down to the main floor. The lifeless form crumpled next to him as he looked around, glaring. No foes remained standing. Aside from the music, all was quiet. "It is safe?" Ginny called from the gallery. "Are the scary guys and bug-thingies all gone?" "No," Santa said warily. "And the next wave is even bigger." "Great!" Ginny complained, tossing the useless nerf gun over the side. "And according to you, there's no one that can help us!" "I didn't say that," he countered, beckoning for her to come down the stairs and be near him for protection. "I just said there was no Easter Bunny." "No Superman either, apparently," she grumbled as she approached him, letting him put a huge arm around her possessively. He was, indeed, bigger than ever. She was practically child-sized next to him now. "So who the hell is there to help us?" "If help's arriving it had better get here soon," he said, taking her to the remains of her big glass bay windows and back door. The wind was howling as snow drove into the living room. What was left of it, anyway. Which was nothing. "It's now or never. Can you see them?" She peered into the darkness outside and a chill ran down her spine, hundreds of red and yellow glowing eyes could be seen in the darkness. And they seemed to be getting closer. "Do; do they see me?" she asked, swallowing nervously. "I'm sure they do," he said, grimacing. "Not going to take a chance and assume they don't. I'll do everything I can to protect you, of course." "Is; is that going to be enough?" She could hear the angry hisses and an evil chanting outside clearly now, getting closer with each moment. It pained Santa that he couldn't lie to her. "I don't know, Virginia." She sighed and smiled weakly. "Well, at least I know there's a Santa Claus now. And he gave me the night of my life before it all ended." He returned the smile, trying to feign a cheerfulness he didn't feel. "I don't;" Ginny faltered, trying to find the words. "I don't suppose that you'd; well; that you'd be willing to kiss me one last time? You know, before the end?" He turned to look down at her, his hands holding her arms with an unreal gentleness and a warmth in his eyes that comforted her even now. "Nothing would make me happier, Virginia." She smiled and closed her eyes. "Merry Christmas, Santa." "Merry Christmas, Virginia;" he said softly as he leaned down to kiss her. Then the night was filled with high-pitched shrieks, a noise that made her eyes snap open. She'd heard noises like that before, once a long time ago in grade school. It sounds like the hissing passage of meteors above, and getting closer. Or what she imagined artillery sounded like when it was incoming, like in all those war movies. Santa's head turned and an almost evil grin crept over his face as he listened. "That's more like it!" he declared, standing tall and pointing at the blackness of the night. "Watch the sky, Virginia;" She looked up and noticed glittering points of light, dozens of them, seeming to get closer. The hissing shriek was indeed their approach and they seemed to be aimed right at them. She felt Santa's hand squeeze on her shoulder, almost in excitement. His blue eyes were blazing ferociously. Finally, what looked like dozens of giant icicles, each larger and longer than a semi, lanced out of the night sky and slammed into the earth around her house, shaking it as they buried their tips in the frozen ground and came to a stop. Several impaled the intruders as they came in, while others kicked up a covering spray of snow as the enemy stopped and looked around in confusion. Then doors or portals opened on the sides of the titan icicles and tall, lithe beings began leaping out of them, wearing weird, form-fitting armor and carrying space-age guns and swords or axes. Their armor and long hair was a riot of colors that was reflected by the snow and ice. Wild, ululating war cries pierced the air. And a savage, bloody battle began on her property. "Who the hell are they?" Ginny almost yelled in astonishment as she watched. They moved with inhuman grace and speed, the ones not wearing helmets revealing long, beautiful facial features that were often frightening because of the wrath they displayed. The helmets were all tall and peaked, showing fearsome designs and glowing eyes. Weird runes pulsed and throbbed with light all over their armor. Guns hissed and shrieked while swords hummed as they slew. "My elves," Santa said, clearly pleased and also eager to fight but not willing to leave her side yet. "They got my call and converged on my position." "Those are elves?" she exclaimed in amazement. "Aren't they cutesy little toy-shop people?" "Cute myth, but no, not these ones," he replied, watching as several elves wearing bone-white armor with feminine features raced past, throwing themselves into a knot of the hulking bugs. They screamed and the masks of their wild-maned helmets gave off vibrations that shook Ginny's teeth in her head as it melted their foes' faces off. "No, a lot of my elves are warriors, meant to help me fight Krampus. They keep Christmas safe with me." "What the hell are they wearing?" she asked in disbelief. How could this weird night get any weirder? Santa sighed. "Truth? They've been spending way too much time playing Warhammer 40k and they; appropriated armor, weapons and tactics from the Eldar faction. They're space elves." "Wow. Gay;" she muttered, shaking her head. "Well, they're certainly earning their keep tonight." He nodded. "Been a long time since Krampus moved against us this hard. Apparently he got bored and was feeling uppity. That or he just forgot what a good thrashing felt like." Ginny watched as three elves, clad in scary black armor and wearing helmets that looked like peaked skulls, marched relentlessly forward, firing little rockets from elaborate launchers they carried in their hands and on suspensor harnesses. The rockets punctured the bugs' chitin shells and exploded inside them, sending shards of exoskeleton and stinking goo in every direction. Ginny squeaked and hid behind Santa as some of the nasty effluence landed right where she'd been standing only a moment before. Beams of super-heated plasma and tiny, shuriken-like projectiles hissed and whizzed by them, the remains of her lovely house now the center of a battleground while the winter storm raged on. Warriors in green armor, carrying weapons that looked like a horrifying hybrid of sword and chainsaw, tore into a knot of foes, slicing them to bloody ribbons. As savage as the battle had been earlier, when it had just been her and Santa, she suddenly appreciated its relative civility. "They need my help," Santa said finally, cracking his knuckles, his expression grim. "We have to finish this off or Christmas won't come on time." "I thought you said there was plenty of time." Ginny protested, frowning up at him. "There was," he admitted. "But in order to defeat Krampus' minions, I summoned every single quantum iteration of myself back to here to help me fight. No one is delivering presents anywhere at the moment. I can't change real-time if I'm here in my entirety." He turned and looked at her. "Hopefully we're keeping them busy enough that they don't worry about you. Stay against the wall and work the music, will you?" "Manning the music station," she said, nodding, focusing on giving herself a task. "Music for Santa and his homicidal elves to kill by. Got it;" She watched as Santa leapt through the shattered remains of her bay doors into the howling storm and crashed into a knot of foes, savaging them. She watched in disbelief for some time, trying to figure out how Santa could kill anyone. I mean, even serial murderers got presents in prison, didn't they? Maybe they didn't, she had no way of knowing and chalked up thinking about this to what could only be described as the weirdest night of her life. She squealed and dodged out of the way as a body came flying through the doors and landed next to her. She scrambled over to the entertainment center and stood in front of it, trying to figure out what the hell she should play. "Okay;" she breathed, trying to focus. "Mass slaughter music; mass slaughter music;" What constituted mass slaughter music? Death metal? Panic At The Disco? Teletubbies music? She had no playlists, so she began cycling through the radio, hoping to find anything that might suffice. Oldies; Christmas music; hip-hop; trance; disco; "Son of a fuck," she muttered. "This is harder than it looks." She finally came across a station playing 'Jailhouse Rock' and decided that was good enough, she was sick of looking. She winced, trying to ignore another splintering crash as a body came through her wall. She hugged herself but then felt her robe. She frowned as she looked down at it, realizing it had been thoroughly shredded in the fight earlier. Those shuriken-thingies had been cutting it real close. Ginny grumbled as she pulled it off and threw it away, standing there completely naked, it hadn't been keeping her warm in its current condition and she was thoroughly beyond giving a shit at this point about who saw her naked. They were all too damn busy tearing one another apart anyway. And that sort of pissed her off. She was buck-naked and no one seemed to care. She'd shaved her cunt for this? "And I thought my night sucked before," she sighed to no one in particular. "Not getting my cunt pounded had been my biggest complaint before this hack!" She never saw the menacing shadow that had slipped up behind her. Santa picked one of his foes up overhead and hurled him into a cluster of foes, bowling them all over. He then punched another man as he tried to run by, knocking him off his feet and into his back. A quick stamp on his solar plexus made sure he stopped moving. The huge man thrust his fist in the air and shouted loudly. "Clear!" he thundered, indicating no other enemies surrounded him. His elves responded in kind, many of them gathering in a tight ring about him, weapons facing out as they sought to protect him. Hundreds of bodies lay strewn across the landscape, some burning from plasma blasts, other shredded and blown apart by rockets or sliced into bloody jerky. The storm seemed to be abating, no longer a blizzard so much as a stiff wind and swirls of snow. "Sire, we detect no enemies in the immediate vicinity," one elf wearing blue armor with a tall, crested helmet announced, striding up and saluting by thumping his gauntleted fist over his heart. "This attack has been defeated." "Maybe," Santa said, looking around warily. "But that doesn't mean anything just yet. We have to secure the area, make sure Virginia is alright and then get back to” "Kringle!" "Damn," he muttered to himself. "I thought this was too easy." He made several complex gestures, sending his elves fanning out in a wide arc as he began trudging forward through the snow, heading toward where the voice had come from out of the night. The winds and squalls of snow continued to die down until there was an almost deafening silence, the moon shining brightly overhead and revealing the sheer carnage of the battle that had been waged, the snow and ice glittered with frozen blood. "Kringle!" snarled the inhuman voice angrily. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" Santa said loudly, scowling. "Don't get your panties in a bunch!" He stopped in a clearing on the other side of the house, glowering at who confronted him, the beast was not as tall as he was, nor as muscular, but horrifying in aspect. The backward-jointed, hairy legs ended in wicked hooves. The skin not covered in coarse black fur was almost as dark and criss-crossed with innumerable scars. The vascular chest was crowned with a strong neck and sitting atop it was a blasphemous head, a demonic goat's visage from which grew four evil, twisting horns. The red eyes blazed like wrathful coals and sharp teeth glistened wetly inside the hateful mouth. Krampus. And in one of his powerful, clawed hands, he held Virginia by the neck, who looked like a rag doll. "Hi, Santa;" she said weakly, looking very apologetic. Santa kept walking forward, clenching his fists. "By all means, Kringle, keep coming forward if you mean to slay the child." Krampus growled, starting to squeeze and causing Ginny to shudder in fear. Santa stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes narrowing. His elves had now cast a tight net around the scene, hemming in Krampus. One circle of warriors faced inward, pointing their weapons at the abomination while another behind them faced out, prepared for any further attacks. Santa didn't move. "Let the girl go, Krampus," he said levelly. "This doesn't concern her." "Oh, I beg to differ," said the beastman in an almost non-chalant tone. "It's always about the children, isn't it?" "Hey!" said Ginny angrily. "I am not a child, jerk! I'm twenty, Gurr!" "Oh, do stop talking, you're such an annoyance." Krampus said, giving her neck another warning squeeze. "Let the adults work this out." "There's nothing to work out, Krampus," Santa growled, his blue eyes flashing. "You'll let the girl go." "I think we both know that's not happening," intoned the vile intruder. "She is my victory over you, and you know it. Revenge is not only a dish best served cold but often. And not often enough for me." "About this cold revenge dish thing," Ginny said, squirming slightly. "Couldn't; couldn't I just find you a nice tin can to chew on instead?" "Shut up, girl!" Krampus said harshly while several elves could be heard to chuckle and even Santa smirked at her jest. "I hold your life in my hands, to dispose of as I please." His foul breath crackled in the cold night air. His touch was uncomfortably warm, almost hot and strangely kept her body from freezing in the winter night. His touch felt evil and her skin crawled in revulsion. His strength was terrifying. "It wasn't enough that I slaved in coal mines for you, giving you carbon lumps to deliver to naughty children," Krampus growled, glaring at Santa. "It wasn't enough that I found the worst of them and brought them to you in the night so you could lecture them." "Hey, nobody asked you or ordered you to do the coal thing, pal," Santa said angrily. "And the whole kidnapping kids thing was your idea. I decided to let you have some creative control and look what happened. When it didn't work out, you decided that beating naughty kids with reeds was the answer. You're damn right that wasn't good enough!" "Silence!" Krampus snarled loudly, stamping one of his clawed hooves and making the ground shake dangerously. "Your kind-hearted foolishness with these puny mortals changed nothing about their behavior! Your failure to recognize their inherent selfishness was why our efforts were doomed!" "These puny mortals?" Santa countered. "You used to be one of them, Pete, remember? You were a well-behaved boy once." "Shut up!" growled Krampus. "Well-behaved, but not good," Santa continued. "You followed the rules and wanted everyone to follow rules. You were a control freak. I brought you north to show you what kindness could do, but you hated the cheer and the happiness and you fled to the coal mines in Greenland, hiding in the dark where the light of Christmas couldn't touch you! And when making kids feel bad with coal didn't bring them into line, you started the whole whipping them with reeds thing. Good job there, Pete!" "I'm warning you, Kringle;" Krampus said dangerously. "Oh, he really gets your goat, doesn't he?" Ginny sneered, causing several elves to laugh loudly. Krampus now snarled furiously and lifted her into the air by her neck, causing her to cry out in pain. Santa watched warily, knowing better than to make a move. "We seem to have an impasse," Krampus said, an evil smile playing over his slavering mouth. "You cannot harm me, because you know I can slay the child, but I cannot as yet slay her because she is my bargaining chip. But my need to hurt you, old man, is so very strong." He lowered Ginny down until her feet were just touching the snow-covered ground. She frowned as she heard a wet slithering sound she could not identify. "And there are other ways to hurt you than slaying the poor dear, aren't there?" Ginny felt something slimy touch her leg and then start to crawl up it, wrapping around her smooth skin. She shuddered and squirmed in horror as she realized exactly what was happening. The snake-like appendage wound up her thigh and then behind her. She gasped as it slid between her ass cheeks and then underneath to her cunt. She felt the blunt head split her lips and then move upward again. "Don't do this, Krampus." Santa said, trying to figure out what to do without hurting Ginny. "And why not?" replied the qliphotic abomination. "Don't you have a present for me? Then I guess I'll have to give myself one." Krampus' organ continued to slither its way around her body, leaving a glistening trail on her skin. She stiffened and moaned as his appendage wrapped around her tits, squeezing them, the head pausing and teasing the nipples. "Hey, asshole, dinner and a movie first!" she spat angrily. Ginny was about to say something else when the large, grayish cockhead snaked up in front of her face and then plunged into her mouth, causing her to gag and go silent. Her eyes widened and she thrashed furiously, but to no avail. He was simply too strong. "Language, young lady." Krampus chided, still staring at Santa. "Hasn't Santa taught you anything?" "This isn't gonna end well for you, Pete." Santa said, his tone dire. "Christmas never does, Kringle," replied the demon, his cock sliding in and out of Ginny's mouth. "I'm just hoping to make the holiday every bit as awful and intolerable for you as it is for me. After all, misery loves company." He brought her body close to his head and his other hand reached over and stroked her cunt lips, which were glistening. He leered at his foe, knowing Santa was helpless to get closer. "Is she good down here?" Krampus said mockingly. "Nice and wet and tight for you? Was she the best one ever, in the endless list of good girls you have fucked?" Santa said nothing, just glaring at Krampus. His knuckles were white as he clenched his fists. "Sharing your toys is the spirit of Christmas, isn't it?" Krampus said evilly, finally pulling his cock out of her mouth. Ginny coughed and sputtered, tendrils of resinous spittle and worse trailing away from her lips. She glared at Krampus but was still immobilized. "Just get this over with and fuck me already, whip-cock," she spat. "You won't be my first egotistical disappointment, trust me." Krampus' eyes blazed red and his tongue sped around her naked form blindingly quickly while he released her from his clawed grip. The tongue wrapped and immobilized her arms, holding them out straight while still encircling her tits. It then snaked around her waist and legs, pinning those as well while his long cock, swaying about like a cobra, came to a stop in front of her swollen cunt lips. The head teased and tapped against the opening, causing her to moan and squirm. "As you wish, child;" The head forced itself through her lips, sliding deep inside her. Ginny cried out in a mixture of shock and indescribable pleasure. She felt the tip of his pointed tongue probe trailing around her nipples. The python-like length of his cock churned inside her cunt. The blinding light behind her eyes finally receded and she lifted her head, looking out into the night, feeling his tongue constricting around her neck. She could dimly see a huge being in red pants and black boots watching nearby, his powerful chest exposed. The startling blue eyes flashed in the darkness of the night. She could tell he wanted to rescue her but didn't dare come closer. She gasped and shuddered as Krampus' cock pushed still deeper inside her. She felt fuller than she had imagined possible, the slithering appendage stretching her wide. The sticky, squelching noises were hardly to be believed. "Ew, gross! Hentai noises!" she thought in revulsion. "Krampus;" Santa warned. His elves all pointed their weapons menacingly but he held up his hand, staying them. "The child is naughty," Krampus said, smiling through pointed teeth. "Very naughty. Such a sordid past." "Hey, back off, she was young and needed the money!" Santa snapped defensively. "That thing with the midget and the donkey was” "You're not helping here!" Ginny shouted, blushing furiously, even as Krampus violated her. "Wicked child," growled the vile demon, shoving his cock in and out of her, the peristaltic actions of its length causing her to writhe and squirm in his grip, her breath coming in ragged gasps. "Shameless. Even though I violate her, she finds a way to be concerned about how you perceive her. I find it; titillating." "Oh, do I make you horny?" she sneered, turning her head to smirk at him. "Couldn't tell, looking at that head of yours." "Silence!" Krampus hissed, spittle flying from his jaws, his eyes flashing angrily. "I hold your life and death in my hands." "How would I know?" she shot back. "Hope you're better with your hands than you are with your cock, Billy G." He plunged his cock deeper still inside her. She went rigid and cried out. "That all you got?" she rasped, trying not to faint as she felt popping inside her hips while he stetched her. "My brother got in deeper than that when we were little!" "Insolent!" Krampus snarled savagely, bouncing her up and down and he fucked her harder than ever, pulling on her arms and legs, stretching her joints til they creaked. She felt a deep, wet heat building inside her and in spite of the horror she consciously felt about the situation, even more dire was her need to cum. She felt her cunt squeezing around his cock. His snake-like tongue probed her ass and wriggled inside, further adding to her desperation. "Intholent bith, you will be punithed!" "What was that?" Santa asked, turning his head slightly and putting his hand to his ear. "I couldn't understand you, it's like you have a lisp or something." "Don't mock meef!" Krampus said angrily, his tongue whipping out of Ginny's ass, causing her to yelp suddenly. "I'll kill her, Kringle!" "Not before I cum, damn you!" Ginny panted, her body flushed and covered in sweat as she twisted and writhed in his grip. "Uh, so close, goddammit!" "Language!" Santa and Krampus both snapped at her. "Aw, c'mon!" she wailed. "You two are total pains in the ass! Do it, Billy! Show me what a bad boy you are!" Krampus glared at her and began fucking her harder than ever. "As you wish, child!" "Krampus!" Santa shouted, reaching out his hand in alarm. "Don't!" Krampus grinned evilly at Santa, his teeth clenching as he drew close to climax. His cock seemed to swell along its length, stretching her wider still. She threw her head back and gritted her teeth, straining as she was overwhelmed by sensation; Santa's fist slammed across Krampus' jaw with a powerful crack. The demonoid's eyes rolled into his head and he crumpled to the ground. Ginny wailed in frustration as his cock pulled out of her and retreated back to his body, like a wet, slimy Stanley tape measure. She collapsed to her hands and knees in the snow, panting and shaking, her eyes wide. Santa raced up and knelt next to her, his eyes shining with concern. "Fuck;" Ginny whispered, gasping for air. "Motherfucker;" She looked up at her rescuer now, her eyes flashing accusingly. "The hell? Couldn't you have let him make me cum first?" Santa paused. "What?" "I was so damn close!" she hissed, standing up and stamping her foot. "I was within half a second of the orgasm of my life and you had to choose that moment to intervene and play the hero! Don't expect a thank you card!" "Uh, Virginia," Santa said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, trying to figure out what to say. "If he had brought you to orgasm, it would have killed you. When Krampus climaxes, his appendage you were so attached to bursts into spikes, basically killing you from the inside while denying you your orgasm." She paused and then deflated. "Holy cobra dildos. What a bastard." Ginny then pointed a finger at her savior. "But you still owe me an orgasm, then, pal. You may have rescued me from certain death, but that doesn't mean I don't need relief." Santa looked really confused. "What, here? Now?" "Damn straight," she said firmly, suddenly remembering she was buck naked in a snow-storm. In spite of the no-doubt freezing weather, her body was still warm and very wet with need. She put her hand down her cunt and felt around for a moment before presenting her sticky palm and fingers to Santa for inspection. "Do I look satisfied to you? You've already fucked me, Screamo the Goat Boy just fucked me, who cares if your freaky gay elves watch us? I need satisfaction now and I already am aware that you can't say no." Santa sighed. "It's gotta be quick, Virginia. I'm really behind, now that I'm completely temporal in one location." "Whatever, just get me to the promised land, man." Ginny replied, shrugging. "Who knows, maybe your entourage might enjoy a show." "Oh, right, about that," Santa said, standing up tall and shouting loudly. "About; Face!" As a single unit, the elves all turned around smartly on their heels, still arranged in a protective ring around their liege and his companion, weapons ready as they scanned the darkness for trouble, their eyes glowing menacingly inside their helmets. Santa strode up to Ginny, towering over her and ignoring the prostrate form of the still-unconscious Krampus, snuffling nearby. She smiled up at him, somehow warmed by his presence, in spite of the icy night she should have frozen to death in already. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. She moaned into his mouth as she felt her already molten core getting even more heated in response to his touch. Tongues tangled and played as he took her ass cheeks in his hands and squeezed them, making her shiver. Ginny's hands fumbled with his large black belt until it fell away and then pulled down his red pants. He pulled her onto his powerful thighs, resting her on them. She hooked her legs behind his waist and began grinding her wet, eager cunt against his hardening cock, which swelled readily. Her head was almost spinning, she was so horny. "Hmm, give it to me, baby," she purred, feeling the head of his cock touch her cunt lips. "Make me cum hard and fast." She sighed loudly as he pulled her close, penetrating and sliding deep inside her. Ginny moaned shamelessly as Santa once again began to pump back and forth inside her. His huge cock stretched her cunt wide, but not in the violent, violating way Krampus did. This felt warm and utterly perfect. She nipped at the skin of his chest while he moved in and out of her. "Yes," Ginny breathed as he began to moved faster, pumping strongly and rhythmically. She could feel her wetness trickling down between her cheeks, her cunt clutching at him hungrily, greedily and unwilling to let go until it was somehow sated. "Oh, God, just what I needed. Yes, fuck me, Santa!" He gripped her tight and thrust into her, picking up his pace just the way she wanted. She was gasping and yelping now and he squeezed her cheeks, one of his fingers poking inside her puckered knot. She clenched her teeth and groaned at the intrusion, murmuring that she loved it. She grew warmer and warmer, her body tingling with an exquisite fire that rippled out from her core. Santa turned her around and set her feet on top of his boots, bending her forward and pulling on her arms. She cried out as he fucked her harder, his hips thumping against her ass cheeks. Her hands clenched wildly, her breath coming in gasps as his overwhelming strength dominated her. "Oh, God!" she panted, beginning to shudder uncontrollably, almost drooling. "Uh, cum in me, dammit! Fucking cum in me!" Santa pulled on her arms even tighter as his thighs slammed into her. Ginny strained, craning her neck, teeth clenched as she tried not to scream, but it was no use, she wailed loudly as he came inside her, filling her once again in a way she could not describe. Her orgasm shook every last atom of her being, transporting her to a world of nothing but pleasure, edged with mint. She buckled, hanging loosely in his arms, exhausted. She'd been fucked hard at least five times tonight and had a dreadful suspicion that this experience would only make her libido even more hyperactive. She sighed as Santa scooped her naked form into his arms and cuddled her against the cold. Ginny purred and traced a fingernail across his broad chest. "Thank you," she said quietly. "Just what the doctor ordered. That quenched the flames, for now." He finally put her down and she looked at the remains of her ruined chateau, which was completely leveled and now on fire. "Poor Oatmeal," she murmured. "Where am I going to live?" She scowled down at the still supine Krampus, anger flaring in her. "It's this jack wagon’s fault. You should totally napalm his face." Santa looked down at her in shock. "Did you just say I should jerk off in Krampus' face?" "Damn right, he'd deserve it too." Ginny announced. "That and shove your sleigh up his ass." "I am not jizzing in Krampus' face." Santa said, clearly repulsed by the suggestion. "Fine, leave a woman to do a man's job," Ginny said testily, striding over to Krampus and putting one leg on either side of his head. She stuck three fingers inside her cunt and managed to tease out considerable amounts of Santa's minty cum, which she smeared all over Krampus' face and into his fur with glee, even giving him a glistening white moustache. "Take that, asshole!" She looked like she might have been done desecrating the unconscious form, but then she paused and squatted over him, peeing on his body and face, the stream steaming in the cold night air. She grinned evilly as she thoroughly baptized him. "Teach you to mess with me." Ginny muttered as she walked back to Santa, nodding. The huge man had a wide smirk on his face and shook his head slowly. "I can't believe you just pissed all over Krampus," he said, hugging her to him. "However, you're going to freeze to death at this rate;" He held out his hand and one of his elves dutifully brought him a large, velvety red cloak, which he wrapped around her. She blushed and smiled gratefully at his consideration, but only until he slid it off her, revealing that she was now wearing some ridiculous 'Hot Christmas Elf' outfit, complete with striped stockings and high heels. She looked like a Yule whore. "Seriously?" she asked, unimpressed. "This is your solution to my naked issues?" He shrugged. "I liked you better naked, but you would freeze quickly." "Whatever," she sighed, looking down and appreciating the considerable lift it gave her cleavage. It was incredibly warm, in spite of how scant it was. "So now what? I still have no damn home, you and Goatse here blew it up with your little barnyard brawl." Santa looked around warily. "That might be the least of your worries. The wind's picking up again, which means that another assault is coming. We need to get out of here." "Sire!" said one of the armored elves, thumping his fist to his breastplate and bowing his head. "We will cover you. You must go while you still have a head-start and the dark one is unconscious." Santa nodded. "Yeah, he's not gonna be happy when he wakes up and he's really gonna want revenge on you, Virginia." She felt her mouth go dry at the notion of another battle and Krampus waking up to even the score. "So; now what?" Santa shrugged. "I'd say it's fairly obvious. I've still got to make my rounds before the night is over and I'm not leaving you here;" She gaped as he put his hands on her shoulders and looked down into her eyes. "Virginia, you're coming with me and you're going to help save Christmas." Chapter 3, Christmas Wishes "How the hell do you drive this thing?" Ginny called in a panic, her eyes wide as she held onto the reigns, twisting them wildly as she tried to steer. Up ahead of her, eight large reindeer squealed and thrashed their heads. The sleigh corkscrewed while it hurtled through the cold night air, the moon shining down on them. "Well, first of all, stop panicking," Santa replied as he stood on the back of the sleigh, atop his huge red sack of toys. He was more or less back to his original size she had become accustomed to, now that he had sent his other 'iterations' of himself out over the globe to deliver presents. "That would be an excellent start." "Easy for you to say," she snapped, scowling back at him for a moment since taking her eyes off her designated path seemed to make no difference to how she was doing at navigating. "You're used to doing this!" "Trust me, between the two of us, you're the one with the easy job right now and I'd be happy to trade," he called back as he ducked wildly. A comically large rocket thundered by, with an evil-looking man strapped to the bottom of it, swinging a weapon wildly to hit Santa. "Try to keep her steady!" "While dodging psychos on rockets, no problem!" she grumbled, trying to ignore the howling wind and roaring projectiles. "Have I mentioned Krampus is a gigantic asshole?" "Repeatedly," Santa answered, watching warily. The sky was threaded with jets of fire as their enemies kept coming about in ponderous, elliptical arcs and heading back towards them, intent on their destruction. They had only just pulled off from the smoldering remains of Ginny's country chateau when the assault began. Krampus was nowhere to be seen, but his minions were clearly determined to avenge him. "Maybe urinating on him wasn't such a good idea. He never did take humiliation well." Ginny squawked in alarm and ducked as a rocket streaked right at her. Santa jumped in the air, doing the splits to avoid the projectile and landing back on top of his present sack. Another tried to pull up alongside them but Santa grabbed the harness the man was wearing and wrenched the rocket off course, sending it speeding into one some distance away. Both rockets (and presumably their pilots) exploded in a violent orgy of noise and flashing lights. "Really hope people just think those are fireworks," Santa muttered as he looked glared balefully at yet another rocket considering approaching. "Fireworks right in the middle of the world's most spastic meteor shower. Sure, they'll buy that;" "Funny part is I can't tell if you're serious," Ginny said loudly. "If they don't believe that narrative, then they've gotta accept that Santa Claus was engaged in an epic air battle over their town with quantum men strapped to rockets." "Truth is often stranger than fiction," Santa agreed, nodding. "Fighting these jerks off is taking too much time!" "Well, don't you have anything in your back of tricks there?" Ginny asked. In spite of the sleigh being open, it seemed to have some weird form of climate control and she'd been getting rather warm. To that end she'd pulled down her top, exposing her tits to cool herself off. The breeze allowed through made her nipples tingle delightfully, but not enough to distract her from driving the sleigh. After all, she often drove ninety minutes to her job wearing a vibrating insert in her panties, so she knew for a fact she could orgasm and still control a vehicle. A wheeled one, at least. She wasn't so sure about a sleigh doing Mach Three at twenty thousand feet. "You mean a weapon?" Santa asked. "In the bag full of toys for kids?" "You gave me a nerf gun out of that bag and it turned out to be some sort of doomsday device, didn't it?" she pointed out. "Scary lightning bolts everywhere. I refuse to believe you don't have some other goodies in there." Santa shrugged and squatted down to look inside the bag, getting narrowly missed by another rocket that shot over his head. The pilot cursed and came around again, aiming directly at the chassis of the sleigh from the side. Ginny's eyes widened in fright as she saw him approach. She jerked the reins to one side and the sleigh tilted ninety degrees, presenting its wide, flat red underside. The rocket slammed into it and exploded. Whatever it was made of or whatever shielding was in place, Ginny only heard the detonation and felt a rumble, but there was no damage aside from that. "Ha!" Santa said, standing tall and holding an electric guitar in the air, its black body gleamed in the moonlight. He put the strap around his neck and took several seconds to tune it, ignoring the aerial mayhem that swirled around him. "The hell are you going to do with that?" Ginny asked, scowling as she looked behind to see what he was up to. "You said to find something, I found something," he said simply as he checked the pickups. "Now let's see what we can do here;" He took the pick in hand and strummed it across the strings, a screeching pulse of sound blared out from the instrument, heading in all directions. It struck several rockets nearby, which exploded brightly. Other were knocked off course, spiraling around crazily as they fought for control. Santa laughed loudly, apparently enjoying himself. "Quit laughing and kill, red man!" Ginny yelled, nonplussed by his amusement. "I want to survive the night and I've had several close calls with death already!" "I'm working on it, Virginia, patience." Santa chided, adjusting the tuners momentarily. "Near-death experiences make you cranky." "No shit, Sherlock," she grumbled as he blasted out another screeching wave of sound. "Do you plan to play anything or just keep shrieking out that one sound?" "As you wish," he said cheerfully, pleased to be doing as she asked. Making her happy was all he cared about. He began playing a heavy metal version of Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkyries', the pulsing walls of sound thundering out and striking every foe within hundreds of

Conversations on Groong - December 1, 2025Topics:US and VenezuelaPotential for New War on IranIs Azerbaijan a “Middle Power”?Europe's Confused Geopolitical IdentityArmenia's Confused GeopoliticsGuest: Eldar MamedovHosts:Hovik ManucharyanAsbed BedrossianEpisode 492 | Recorded: November 29, 2025VIDEO: https://youtu.be/SjcJMIis7sgSHOW NOTES: https://podcasts.groong.org/492#IranCrisis #AzerbaijanPolitics #EuropeanGeopolitics #ArmeniaSecurity #SouthCaucasus #GlobalPowerPoliticsSubscribe and follow us everywhere you are: linktr.ee/groong

Föstudagur 28. nóvember Vikuskammtur: Vika 48 Í Vikuskammti við Rauða borðið sitja í dag þau Unnur Andrea Einarsdóttir, fjöllistakona, Grímur Atlason, framkvæmdastjóri Geðhjálpar, Thelma Harðardóttir, sveitarstjórnarfulltrúi í borgarbyggð og Eldar Ástþórsson, markaðsstjóri Faxaflóahafna. Þau ræða fréttir vikunnar með Maríu Lilju.

Les gjerne Joh 3:1-8 og 2.Kor 1:22. Rom 6:3-4Den Hellige Ånd. Jesu Ånd som kommer til oss. Gud arbeider i verden ved sin Hellige Ånd. Vet du sikkert om du har Den Hellige Ånd? Trenger du å føle det?

Send us a textIn EPISODE TWO HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE (225) of the "LOOK OUT, SIR! 40K" Podcast, Dan and Phil couldn't wait for the latest Warhammer Community Reveals from this weekend's (07/11/25-09/11/25) World Championship of Warhammer, so they opted instead to talk about a couple old Warhammer books they really liked. Dan picked the 4th Edition Eldar Codex, and Phil went for the hipster pick and chose to talk about Tamurkhan the Throne of Chaos.We hope you enjoy this retrospective book club episode. We'll get around to talking about those aforementioned reveals in episode two hundred twenty-six (226).Huge thank you to “TheNinjaDad_Michigan” for the 5 STAR REVIEW via APPLE PODCAST USA, we massively appreciate your support. Cheers! Please consider supporting LOOK OUT, SIR! on PATREON, which occasionally features fancy EXCLUSIVE CONTENT: https://www.patreon.com/lookoutsir40k We also have MERCHANDISE available to purchase from Rev-Level: https://www.rev-level.com/lookoutsir40k  LOOK OUT, SIR!'S SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS:• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lookoutsir/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lookoutsir40k/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/lookoutsir40k  PHIL'S SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS:• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beyondthetabletop/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAxBqN_9PHjajPLoIKKNi6w  DAN'S SOCIAL MEDIA LINK:• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/i.r.invested.in.unexpected/  Thanks very much for taking the time to listen and by extension support our podcast. We hugely appreciate it and hope that you enjoy the show.

Subtil bubbelvarning från Riksbanken, växande tvivel om fler Fed-sänkningar och guldets plötsliga volatilitet. Och så besöker vi räntemarknadens mer undangömda skrymslen för att få svar på om transmissionsmekanismen kärvar. Dessutom: håller Federal Reserve på att mjuka upp sitt inflationsmål?

Eldar Berli leder Norges Jeger- og Fiskerforbund, med 120 000 medlemmer og 550 lokalforeninger. Han forteller om ulike ledelseskulturer, håndtering av risiko, viktigheten av å vite hvor man er, gleden ved ansvar, og hvordan man burde kunne fiske i Oslofjorden. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How Eldar Cohen Scaled from Hands-On Labor to a Seven-Figure SEO Business—And Created One of the Most Powerful Local SEO Tools Available In this inspiring episode of Local SEO Tactics, Bob Brennan sits down with Eldar Cohen, founder of Local Dominator and Local Wiz, to discuss his incredible journey from being a garage door technician to building a multi-seven-figure digital marketing empire. Eldar shares the real-world grit, failures, and breakthroughs that shaped his rise in the SEO industry and how his AI-enhanced rank tracking tool, Local Dominator, is helping agencies and local businesses win in the ever-evolving search landscape. What You'll Learn  How Eldar transitioned from garage door repair to dominating local search markets Why branding is the first SEO step and how leverage fuels business scalability Eldar's take on the future of search, the role of LLMs, and why SEO is not dead, it's just evolving Ready to take your local SEO to the next level? Scan the QR code in the episode or visit LocalDominator.io to learn more about how you track rankings across Google Maps or go to localseotactics.com/free-gmb-audit/ for a free instant Google Business Profile Audit today! https://www.localseotactics.com/eldar-cohen-local-dominator-seo-journey/  

Episode 267 of The Independent Characters arrives right on schedule, and it's a big one, both in content and in subject matter. This time, we're striding into the battlefield with not one, but two colossal armies in our latest Show of Force. Join us as we explore both the Imperial Knights and their dark reflections, the Chaos Knights. These towering engines of war have a presence on the tabletop and in the lore that is impossible to ignore, and we're diving deep into every aspect of them. Edit: So as we started recording – we realize that this would turn into a 5-6 hour episode. Carl was, once again, too optimistic regarding how much we could cram into an episode. So we made the decision to divide this topic into two parts. Episode 268 will cover the Chaos Knights as Part 2 of Oaths and Damnation. Over the course of the episode, we cover their origins and history, the unique culture of the Knight Houses, and how those sworn oaths of loyalty can either lead to noble service to the Imperium or a fall into the corrupting grip of the Dark Gods. From lore to codex, units to battlefield roles, we've got it all packed in. As our Show of Force Episodes go – we'll also take a look back at their evolution over the years – how these armies have grown in design, rules, and miniature range to become some of the most striking models in the Warhammer 40,000 universe. Carl and Adan – as well as a special guest, will unpack the details of these armies over the course of several hours. Fire up your void-shields because Episode 267 releases on October 18th, 2025. Time Stamps: 0:00:00 – Show Intro, Elite Choice, Hobby Progress 1:00:40 – Oaths & Damnation – Part 1 (First Half) 1:54:10 – Oaths & Damnation – Part 1 (Second Half) 3:23:10 – War on The Shore Narrative Event! 3:46:30 – Final Thoughts and show closing Relevant Links: The Independent Characters Patreon Tablewar! – SPONSOR Herrick Games & Hobbies – SPONSOR Imperium Maledictum by Cubicle7 Goonhammer War on The Shore 2026 Adepticon Games Workshop The Black Library

Adam Vikström, medgrundare Unsolved, gästar podden Framtidens E-Handel och ​​pratar om hur han och hans partner byggt bolaget med en kombination av kreativ frihet, lönsamhetstänk och långsiktig vision, och varför struktur och självdisciplin är lika viktiga som passion. Vi pratar om varumärkesbygge, entreprenörskapets verklighet, lärdomar från misstag och vikten av att våga skala utan att tappa sin själ.03:00 – Drivet bakom Unsolved: skaparlust och visionen om ett svenskt varumärke med själ05:00 – Från hobbyprojekt till bolag – att bygga utan extern finansiering07:15 – Balansen mellan kreativitet och struktur09:20 – Vikten av marginaler, cashflow och att bygga ett lönsamt varumärke14:30 – Att bygga varumärkesvärde: storytelling, identitet och autenticitet16:45 – När försäljningen exploderade – och hur de hanterade trycket19:00 – Lärdomar från att växa snabbt: logistik, leverantörer och produktion28:10 – Marknadsföring som konstform – content, community och trovärdighet31:30 – Hur man bygger långsiktig kundlojalitet utan rabatter35:00 – När Adam insåg att det behövdes mer struktur för att fortsätta växa43:00 – Lärdomar från misstag och felinvesteringar46:30 – Planer framåt: nya kollektioner, internationell expansion och digital satsningHär hittar du Adam & Unsolved:https://www.linkedin.com/in/adam-vikstr%C3%B6m-6b5a76105/ https://unsolved.se/ Sponsor:https://www.kustom.co/ Följ Björn på LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/bjornspenger/ Följ Framtidens E-handel på LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/company/framtidens-e-handel/ Besök vår hemsida, YouTube & Instagram:https://www.framtidensehandel.se/ https://www.instagram.com/framtidens.ehandel/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEYywBFgOr34TN8NtXeL5HQPoddproducent och klippare Michaela Dorch & Videoproducent Fredrik Ankarsköld:https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaela-dorch/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/ankarskold/ Tusen tack för att du lyssnar!Support till showen http://supporter.acast.com/framtidens-e-handel. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Medan käglorna faller bland bottenkonkurrenternas tränarstaber st¨år Eldar Abdulic ,med fyra omgångar kvar, surrad vid masten fortfarande vid rodret för Sandvikens IF. ARAR får ett samtal med honom om känslorna, strategin och skadeläget inför den dramatik som ju tog paus för vårt ständigt pågående landslagsfiasko. I en annan del av en annan tabell hade Sandvikens IF att ta tre poäng under de återstående två omgångarna för att kunna garantera seriesegern och därmed avancemanget till Elitettan. Efter en tveksam insats i hemmaderbyt mot Gefle IF satte man ner foten rejält i Sundsvall mot Heffnersklubban. (Heffnersklubban, vad är det för namn egentligen?) Alltid Rött, Alltid Rätt med Anders Sjöberg och Mathias Åberg

Working at Games Workshop between 1994 and 1999, Des Hanley created incredible artwork for Warhammer, 40k, Necromunda, Gorkamorka, Battlefleet Gothic, and so much more!In this interview Des Hanley and Jordan Sorcery talk about Des' art for Warhammer, what it was like to create new pieces, the style and culture of the time, favourite works, and the challenges of drawing all those Necromunda weapons!Des Hanley in conversation with Jordan Sorcery._____________________________ Support My Work: ELEMENT GAMES AFFILIATE LINK:https://elementgames.co.uk/?d=11216PATREON:https://www.patreon.com/jordansorceryKO-FI:https://ko-fi.com/jordansorceryDISCORD:https://discord.gg/vtjKzTGevDINSTAGRAM:https://www.instagram.com/jordansorcery/ BLUESKY:https://bsky.app/profile/jordansorcery.bsky.social WEBSITE:https://jordansorcery.com/_____________________________ Art, Music, and Copyright: Images used belong to their respective copyright owners Jordan Sorcery Theme by Joylin Music Jordan Sorcery Heraldry by Becka Moor Jordan Sorcery Heraldry and Theme copyright @jordansorcerySupport the show

I dagens episode gir regissør Eldar Einarson fyr på bålet til alle frikerne der ute. Over linje fra Galicia i Spania leverer han underholdende historier om innspillingen av KOSMETIKKREVOLUSJONEN (1977). Du får høre om samarbeidet med Carsten Byhring, Zienia Merton, fotograf Erling Thurmann-Andersen og mange flere, i tillegg til historier fra sjømannslivet, Club7, NRK, samt Einarsons krigsfilm FANEFLUKT (1975), og det obskure dokudramet PAKKETUR TIL PARADIS (1982).

It's that time again - the 2025 Hobby Progress Challenge is here, and we're diving headfirst into all the details on this episode. Chelle, Adan, and Carl sit down to go over the rules of this year's challenge, how it's tracked, and what makes it such a fun and motivating way to tackle that pile of shame. Whether you're painting for glory in the Emperor's name or fueled by the whispers of Chaos, the HPC is your chance to stay focused, productive, and inspired all year long. We'll also hear directly from our community. Listeners who took part in last year's challenge share how the HPC helped them hit their goals, what they learned along the way, and what they're looking forward to this time around. Their stories remind us that while prizes and painted models are great, it's the camaraderie and encouragement that truly keep the brush moving month after month. Of course, we'll be talking about the prize support too - because what's a challenge without a few epic rewards along the way? With fantastic sponsors stepping up again this year, every month of progress not only builds your army but also earns you entries into our prize drawings. The 2025 Hobby Progress Challenge officially kicked off on September 1st, but it's never too late to join in. Tune in October 1st to hear how it all works, get inspired by your fellow hobbyists, and take the plunge into a year of painting, progress, and shared passion for Warhammer 40K. Time Stamps: 0:00:00 - Show Intro, Elite Choice, Hobby Progress, and Games Played 0:25:20 - The 2025 Hobby Progress Challenge - Pt1 1:05:45 - The 2025 Hobby Progress Challenge - Pt2 1:25:30 - Final Discussion and Show Closing Relevant Links: The Independent Characters Patreon Tablewar! - SPONSOR Herrick Games & Hobbies - SPONSOR Goonhammer Media Network Adepticon Games Workshop The Black Library

It's that time again - the 2025 Hobby Progress Challenge is here, and we're diving headfirst into all the details on this episode. Chelle, Adan, and Carl sit down to go over the rules of this year's challenge, how it's tracked, and what makes it such a fun and motivating way to tackle that pile of shame. Whether you're painting for glory in the Emperor's name or fueled by the whispers of Chaos, the HPC is your chance to stay focused, productive, and inspired all year long. We'll also hear directly from our community. Listeners who took part in last year's challenge share how the HPC helped them hit their goals, what they learned along the way, and what they're looking forward to this time around. Their stories remind us that while prizes and painted models are great, it's the camaraderie and encouragement that truly keep the brush moving month after month. Of course, we'll be talking about the prize support too - because what's a challenge without a few epic rewards along the way? With fantastic sponsors stepping up again this year, every month of progress not only builds your army but also earns you entries into our prize drawings. The 2025 Hobby Progress Challenge officially kicked off on September 1st, but it's never too late to join in. Tune in October 1st to hear how it all works, get inspired by your fellow hobbyists, and take the plunge into a year of painting, progress, and shared passion for Warhammer 40K. Time Stamps: 0:00:00 - Show Intro, Elite Choice, Hobby Progress, and Games Played 0:25:20 - The 2025 Hobby Progress Challenge - Pt1 1:05:45 - The 2025 Hobby Progress Challenge - Pt2 1:25:30 - Final Discussion and Show Closing Relevant Links: The Independent Characters Patreon Tablewar! - SPONSOR Herrick Games & Hobbies - SPONSOR Goonhammer Media Network Adepticon Games Workshop The Black Library

With LGT on the Horizon, a weekend of Balance Update data to comb through and Eldar players to wind up, join Anthony, Innes and Nathan on this week's episode of stat check!   ➡ Support the work we do:   / statcheck   ➡ Check out the Meta Data Dashboard: https://www.stat-check.com/the-meta ➡ Stat Check coaching: https://www.stat-check.com/coaching ➡ Stat Check Merch: https://bit.ly/statcheckmerch ➡ Check out our sponsor the Red Dragon (Stat Check Patrons get 15% off the entire store) at https://red-dragon.ca/ ➡ Check out our sponsor Saltire Games: https://www.saltiregames.co.uk/ ➡ Shop amazing WTC terrain at Weyland-Yutani and save 5% with the code "STATCHECK5": https://www.weyland-yutani-inc.com/ ➡ Looking for GW-style US Open terrain? Check out J15 Games (10% off with code STATCHECK) at https://www.etsy.com/shop/j15games   #warhammer40k #warhammer #wh40k #competitivewarhammer #statcheck

In Episode 265, we explore what it means to be a hobbyist over time - from the first spark of excitement, to balancing life's responsibilities, to rediscovering joy in unexpected ways. We're diving into how the hobby grows with us, and how each phase of life brings something new to the tabletop. This episode features reflections and insights from both our hosts and members of the community, sharing how their passion for Warhammer 40K has changed over the years, and what keeps them coming back. Whether you're painting your first Intercessor or pulling out Rogue Trader-era minis, this one's for you. Join us as we celebrate the long game of 40K and the people who've made it a lifelong journey. Time Stamps: 0:00:00 - Show Intro, Elite Choice, Hobby Progress 0:31:40 - 40k For a Lifetime: Part 1 1:35:00 - 40k For a Lifetime: Part 2 2:04:10 - Final Thoughts and show closing 2:12:40 - 40k For a Lifetime: Secret Last Part Relevant Links: The Independent Characters Patreon Tablewar! - SPONSOR Herrick Games & Hobbies - SPONSOR Imperium Maledictum by Cubicle7 Goonhammer War on The Shore 2026 Adepticon Games Workshop The Black Library

In Episode 265, we explore what it means to be a hobbyist over time - from the first spark of excitement, to balancing life's responsibilities, to rediscovering joy in unexpected ways. We're diving into how the hobby grows with us, and how each phase of life brings something new to the tabletop. This episode features reflections and insights from both our hosts and members of the community, sharing how their passion for Warhammer 40K has changed over the years, and what keeps them coming back. Whether you're painting your first Intercessor or pulling out Rogue Trader-era minis, this one's for you. Join us as we celebrate the long game of 40K and the people who've made it a lifelong journey. Time Stamps: 0:00:00 - Show Intro, Elite Choice, Hobby Progress 0:31:40 - 40k For a Lifetime: Part 1 1:35:00 - 40k For a Lifetime: Part 2 2:04:10 - Final Thoughts and show closing 2:12:40 - 40k For a Lifetime: Secret Last Part Relevant Links: The Independent Characters Patreon Tablewar! - SPONSOR Herrick Games & Hobbies - SPONSOR Imperium Maledictum by Cubicle7 Goonhammer War on The Shore 2026 Adepticon Games Workshop The Black Library

The NOVA Open saw Eldar return to form, some incredible showings from World Eaters and showed us some of the paths through the new Metagame. Innes played some Big Models at a little RTT, and we have stats and figures to help you all with the tumultuous gap left by Imperial Knights and Chaos Knights (Not you Death Guard) ➡ Support the work we do:   / statcheck   ➡ Check out the Meta Data Dashboard: https://www.stat-check.com/the-meta ➡ Stat Check coaching: https://www.stat-check.com/coaching ➡ Stat Check Merch: https://bit.ly/statcheckmerch ➡ Check out our sponsor the Red Dragon (Stat Check Patrons get 15% off the entire store) at https://red-dragon.ca/ ➡ Check out our sponsor Saltire Games: https://www.saltiregames.co.uk/ ➡ Shop amazing WTC terrain at Weyland-Yutani and save 5% with the code "STATCHECK5": https://www.weyland-yutani-inc.com/ ➡ Looking for GW-style US Open terrain? Check out J15 Games (10% off with code STATCHECK) at https://www.etsy.com/shop/j15games   #warhammer40k #warhammer #wh40k #competitivewarhammer #statcheck

In this episode we are joined by Em, aka EldarExarch, aka one half of the fantastic Sisters of Eldar. We talk all about Em's journey in the hobby, from starting up the hobby as a way to get through failed surgery, all the way through to now and her adventures to bring all the women in Warhammer together in one place! It was such a pleasure to have Em on the podcast and it was so enjoyable to dive into how we can all improve diversity and inclusivity in the hobby.Let us know if you've got any ideas for future podcasts, including topics, guests, challenges or anything in the comment section. We'll be aiming to have more fun and interesting topics in future episodes. -------------------------------------------------------------------Find us on:https://www.instagram.com/first_rank_wargaming/ https://www.instagram.com/dave_hobby_corner/https://www.instagram.com/rally_point_games_and_minds/https://www.instagram.com/eldarexarch/https://www.instagram.com/sistersofeldar/https://discord.gg/dH8vTuszcH-------------------------------------------------------------------

Episode 264 of The Independent Characters is one for the ages! This time, we're not just joined by guests, we're joined by legends. That's right: the entire cast of Life After the Cover Save joins Carl in the Astronomicon! Ed, Blake, and Travis bring their unique brand of humor, hobby passion, and podcast chaos to join Carl and crew for one big crossover episode you won't want to miss. The topic? One that's bound to spark some debate... What are the greatest Warhammer 40,000 expansion supplements of all time? From the game-changing codex expansions that shaped entire editions, to legendary campaign books and wild narrative add-ons that still echo in hobby history - we're digging deep, reminiscing, and arguing about which supplements truly stood the test of time. You'll get laughs, you'll get hot takes, and you might even find yourself dusting off some old tomes from your shelf once we're done. Because let's face it, everyone has their own “best of all time” picks, and we want to hear yours too! This one's a celebration of the game, the supplements that shaped it, and the community that keeps it alive. Time Stamps: 0:00:00 - Show Intro, Elite Choice, Hobby Progress 0:34:00 - The Greatest 40k Supplements - Part 1 1:38:00 - The Greatest 40k Supplements - Part 2 2:17:00 - Final Thoughts and show closing Relevant Links: The Independent Characters Patreon Tablewar! - SPONSOR Herrick Games & Hobbies - SPONSOR Goonhammer War on The Shore 2026 Adepticon The Beard Bunker Games Workshop The Black Library

Episode 264 of The Independent Characters is one for the ages! This time, we're not just joined by guests, we're joined by legends. That's right: the entire cast of Life After the Cover Save joins Carl in the Astronomicon! Ed, Blake, and Travis bring their unique brand of humor, hobby passion, and podcast chaos to join Carl and crew for one big crossover episode you won't want to miss. The topic? One that's bound to spark some debate... What are the greatest Warhammer 40,000 expansion supplements of all time? From the game-changing codex expansions that shaped entire editions, to legendary campaign books and wild narrative add-ons that still echo in hobby history - we're digging deep, reminiscing, and arguing about which supplements truly stood the test of time. You'll get laughs, you'll get hot takes, and you might even find yourself dusting off some old tomes from your shelf once we're done. Because let's face it, everyone has their own “best of all time” picks, and we want to hear yours too! This one's a celebration of the game, the supplements that shaped it, and the community that keeps it alive. Time Stamps: 0:00:00 - Show Intro, Elite Choice, Hobby Progress 0:34:00 - The Greatest 40k Supplements - Part 1 1:38:00 - The Greatest 40k Supplements - Part 2 2:17:00 - Final Thoughts and show closing Relevant Links: The Independent Characters Patreon Tablewar! - SPONSOR Herrick Games & Hobbies - SPONSOR Goonhammer War on The Shore 2026 Adepticon The Beard Bunker Games Workshop The Black Library

In Episode 263 of The Independent Characters, we open the doors once again to The Warrior Lodge, our roundtable-style discussion format where we bring together voices from across the Warhammer 40,000 community. This episode, Carl is joined by Josh, Adan, and Skye as we dive into some of the most pressing topics currently sparking debate and reflection within the hobby. Whether you're a veteran player or newly initiated into the grim darkness of the far future, The Warrior Lodge always has a seat at the table for you. We hope you enjoy this episode of The Independent Characters! Time Stamps: 0:00:00 – Show Intro, Elite Choice, Hobby Progress 1:08:45 – The Warrior Lodge: Part 1 2:00:45 – The Warrior Lodge: Part 2 2:34:30 – Final Thoughts and show closing Relevant Links: The Independent Characters Patreon Tablewar! – SPONSOR Herrick Games & Hobbies – SPONSOR Imperium Maledictum by Cubicle7 Goonhammer War on The Shore 2026 Adepticon Games Workshop The Black Library Gamers Grass Bases

In Episode 263 of The Independent Characters, we open the doors once again to The Warrior Lodge, our roundtable-style discussion format where we bring together voices from across the Warhammer 40,000 community. This episode, Carl is joined by Josh, Adan, and Skye as we dive into some of the most pressing topics currently sparking debate and reflection within the hobby. Whether you're a veteran player or newly initiated into the grim darkness of the far future, The Warrior Lodge always has a seat at the table for you. We hope you enjoy this episode of The Independent Characters! Time Stamps: 0:00:00 – Show Intro, Elite Choice, Hobby Progress 1:08:45 – The Warrior Lodge: Part 1 2:00:45 – The Warrior Lodge: Part 2 2:34:30 – Final Thoughts and show closing Relevant Links: The Independent Characters Patreon Tablewar! – SPONSOR Herrick Games & Hobbies – SPONSOR Imperium Maledictum by Cubicle7 Goonhammer War on The Shore 2026 Adepticon Games Workshop The Black Library Gamers Grass Bases

The agents made their way toward the Jumentierre Estate, and found improvised Valkyrie fliers that would give the Crimson Brothers advantage in the fight. The area was guarded by two Hereteks and a swarm of servo skulls, so Morgan opted for a stealth approach. She sent data from a nearby cogitator to CLO53T, who confirmed that Talos Ivo was meant to be on one of the ships, but when the Judge and their seconded Arbitrators shots at the Hereteks, the servo skull swarm suddenly broke their surveillance pattern and set their sights on the agents. Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante. Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider becoming a Patron of Dumb-Dumbs & Dice for as little as $1 a month and gain access to a ton of extra BTS fun (https://www.patreon.com/dumbdumbdice)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Watch us on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Instagram (https://instagram.com/dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Facebook (https://facebook.com/dumbdumbdice) Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/)- Twitter (https://twitter.com/deltastic)

Having escaped the Flensing House, the band took a short rest to treat their wounds and regroup, now in the company of two Arbitrators and a soldier. The Judge's wounds were severe, but only after Morgan pressured him, did he allow Damien to heal him with powers from the warp. Solomon, meanwhile, noticed the Judge having a private conversation with Damien and returning healed, and so began to record evidence of his companions' tendencies towards heresy. Morgan showed her rosette to second the Arbitrators to their mission, and they began to make their way to the Jumentierre Estate, where they should finally find Talos Ivo.  Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante. Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider becoming a Patron of Dumb-Dumbs & Dice for as little as $1 a month and gain access to a ton of extra BTS fun (https://www.patreon.com/dumbdumbdice)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Watch us on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Instagram (https://instagram.com/dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Facebook (https://facebook.com/dumbdumbdice) Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/)- Twitter (https://twitter.com/deltastic)

After finishing off the Flayed Man and the Ascended Brother, Damien and Judge Rex sifted through data and learned that Talos Ivo had been transferred to the Jumentierre Estate. Meanwhile, Morgan and Solomon continued fighting their way into the Flensing House, but Damien and the Judge made it out, along with two Arbitrators and another soldier fighting alongside them. Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante. Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider becoming a Patron of Dumb-Dumbs & Dice for as little as $1 a month and gain access to a ton of extra BTS fun (https://www.patreon.com/dumbdumbdice)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Watch us on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Instagram (https://instagram.com/dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Facebook (https://facebook.com/dumbdumbdice) Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/)- Twitter (https://twitter.com/deltastic) 

https://www.patreon.com/isyanderandkoda You already know how to please the Machine Gods at this point so thank you so much. And make your voices heard for which faction you would like to see next! -Isyander P.s for those of you who want to send stuff our way. Thank you in advance. Po BoxIsyander & Koda Po Box 1196, Tacoma, Wa, 98402, USAAnything below is made for (and by) the omnissiah. You can read it though, just a summary of the banger of a video you're watching.Dive into the darkly alluring yet horrifying world of Slaanesh with our deep exploration of the Keepers of Secrets—Warhammer 40K's most psychologically terrifying demons. Known not just for their seductive appearances, but for their unparalleled cruelty, these greater daemons wield mind-breaking weapons and thrive on manipulating mortal desires and fears. Discover why even Khorne's bloodthirsters fear their wrath, why Grey Knights despise them, and why even Primarchs have been humbled by their blades. From their bizarre and mesmerizing forms to their ability to inflict psychological torment, we reveal everything about these deadly servants of excess. Prepare yourself: Slaanesh knows your secrets...and they're ready to use them.———TAGSWarhammer 40K, Keepers of Secrets, Slaanesh, Chaos Gods, Greater Daemons, Daemons of Slaanesh, Grey Knights, Khorne rivalry, Warhammer lore, Keeper of Secrets explained, psychological warfare, daemonettes, Eldar history, chaos lore, Fulgrim, Primarchs vs daemons, Emperor of Mankind, Warhammer horror, Keeper of Secrets combat, Witstealer Sword, Slaanesh realm, daemon invasions, Chaos daemons, psychic torment, seduction and warfare, 40K lore deep dive, chaos god rivalry, slaanesh aesthetics, Eldar vs Slaanesh, Warhammer daemon tactics, Keeper of Secrets models, grimdark fantasy, dark lore, Keeper of Secrets weapons, daemon strategies, 40K horror stories, Warhammer explained, Slaanesh followers, chaos invasions, Primarch Sanguinius, Eldar fall, combat psychology, chaos rituals, daemon summoning, Warhammer theories, daemon lore, warp entities, daemon descriptions, Chaos gods explained, chaos worshippers, Warhammer mythology, tabletop gaming, lore explained, Warhammer analysis, Slaanesh cults, warp powers, Keeper of Secrets origins, psychic warfare, Warhammer history, daemon battles, chaos daemons explained, slaanesh daemonic legions, space marines vs daemons, secrets of slaanesh.————————————Opinions expressed in this video are solely those of Isyander & Koda and in no way reflect the views or opinions of Games Workshop Ltd.Artwork throughout this video is used for educational purposes. if you see your artwork and would like an art credit, message me.Support the show

Inside the Flensing House, Damien fought and seriously wounded the Flayed Man, while outside, Larsa Quinn was killed and Arbitrators joined the fight against the Flayed Guard. Despite their heretical clothing, Solomon's shouted praising of the Emperor convinced the Arbitrators that he and Morgan were on their side, and they all started fighting their way up to help Damien and the Judge. Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante. Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider becoming a Patron of Dumb-Dumbs & Dice for as little as $1 a month and gain access to a ton of extra BTS fun (https://www.patreon.com/dumbdumbdice)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Watch us on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Instagram (https://instagram.com/dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Facebook (https://facebook.com/dumbdumbdice) Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/)- Twitter (https://twitter.com/deltastic)

Will You Look Into the Mirror?Join us as we shine a light on Galadriel, one of Tolkien's most enigmatic and powerful beings. We trace her sweeping arc, from her origins in the blissful light of Valinor, through exile and long voyages across Middle-earth, to the deep wisdom and quiet power she wields in her later years.We explore her entangled history with the Rings of Power, giving special honour to her own ring, Nenya, the Ring of Adamant. It is Nenya that sustains the heart of Elvendom in Middle-earth, that lends her Mirror the gift of foresight and reflection, and that keeps Lothlórien safe even when Sauron's shadow falls most darkly across the land.Lothlórien, “the Land of Blossom Dreaming.” There is a dreamlike quality to both Lórien and this podcast, as we attempt to follow the shifting path of Galadriel's story through Tolkien's ever-evolving legendarium. Tolkien himself revised her history many times, and in the final month of his life, he returned to her once more, describing her as:“brilliant in mind and swift in action; she had early absorbed all of what she was capable of from the teachings the Valar thought fit to give the Eldar.”Yet it took Galadriel thousands of years to truly master the magnificence of those teachings. Only when she learns to embody all she has endured, created and sacrificed does she finally pass the test and earn her return to Valinor. She does not return to reclaim her old names or noble lineages, but to carry the weight and wisdom of her long years under the name her beloved Celeborn gave her: Altariel in Quenyan, Galadriel to us.We also honour that our own roles—as Tarot Reader and Psychotherapist—find a strange reflection in Galadriel's Mirror. In the spirit of her foresight, we close our episode by gazing into those waters ourselves: Libby looks into the Mirror to glimpse “the things that are, the things that were, and some things that have not yet come to pass,” while Molly, taking up the Helm of Galadriel, offers a mini Tarot reading of what emerges from its depths.Will you dare to look into the Mirror with us? Listen in, share what you see, and tell us what Galadriel stirs in you.Love the pod? Please buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/fortheshireIf you'd love to geek out with us, reach out to ⁠fortheshire.pod@gmail.com⁠ or follow us on @fortheshire.pod on Instagram. Co-hosted by Molly Davis and Libby Rose Waite.(FYI - We didn't manage to work out video... but this will be uploaded to YouTube soon!)Music by Steve Ernenwein, host and composter for The Dreams that Shape Us Podcast: ⁠https://linktr.ee/dreamsthatshapeus⁠ / ⁠https://linktr.ee/aqthedreamwalker

Morgan retrieved the damaged Romeo, but was spotted and a firefight ensued. Judge Rex and Damien continued to fake their way through checkpoints within the Flensing House and learned that Talos Ivo had been taken further up the building to the Flayed Man. Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante. Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider becoming a Patron of Dumb-Dumbs & Dice for as little as $1 a month and gain access to a ton of extra BTS fun (https://www.patreon.com/dumbdumbdice)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Watch us on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Instagram (https://instagram.com/dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Facebook (https://facebook.com/dumbdumbdice) Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/)- Twitter (https://twitter.com/deltastic)

The inquisitorial band trudged through the battlefield wasteland, heading toward the northernmost hive of Arcturus IV, in the hopes of retrieving their Heretek target, Talos Ivo. At a checkpoint into the underhive, they were forced to prove they were in fact Khornate cultists. To avoid carving the symbol of Khorne into their own flesh, Morgan grabbed the flight officer they had saved from the wreckage, and carved the symbol into her instead. They then made their way to the mids and The Flensing House, to extract their target. Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante. Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider becoming a Patron of Dumb-Dumbs & Dice for as little as $1 a month and gain access to a ton of extra BTS fun (https://www.patreon.com/dumbdumbdice)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Watch us on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Instagram (https://instagram.com/dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Facebook (https://facebook.com/dumbdumbdice) Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/)- Twitter (https://twitter.com/deltastic)

Episode 259 is finally, our Show of Force episode about The World Eaters! To help us out, we have brought in World Eaters expert Brian Harvey, to help us understand what the Sons of Angron are all about... and what makes them such a fantastic army. If you aren't aware of what our Show of Force Episodes are all about well here is your answer: Show of Force is an ongoing series of episodes we will spread out through our releases of The Independent Characters. These shows take a look at each army in the Warhammer 40,000 Universe and seek to answer the question 'Why should you collect this army?' As we have said from the beginning, we don't do "Codex Overviews" this is more of a celebration of the hobby from a specific point of view. WARNING: These episodes can be dangerous to your wallet. Please listen responsibly! Time Stamps: 0:00:00 - Show Intro, Elite Choice, Hobby Progress 0:56:55 - Show of Force: The Red Tide - Pt 1 2:40:15 - Show of Force: The Red Tide - Pt 2 3:18:00 - Final Thoughts and show closing Relevant Links: The Independent Characters Patreon Tablewar! - SPONSOR Herrick Games & Hobbies - SPONSOR Adepticon Lost to The Nails Podcast Games Workshop The Black Library

The agents flew across the battlefield in their stolen Aquila Lander toward the crash site and their Heretek target, only to spot several Khornate cultists already there, pulling people out of the wreckage. The band seemed to have the upper hand until their Lander was suddenly shot out of the sky and plummeted toward where they stood below. Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante. Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider becoming a Patron of Dumb-Dumbs & Dice for as little as $1 a month and gain access to a ton of extra BTS fun (https://www.patreon.com/dumbdumbdice)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Watch us on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Instagram (https://instagram.com/dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Facebook (https://facebook.com/dumbdumbdice) Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/)- Twitter (https://twitter.com/deltastic)

Judge Rex and the Mechanicus representative presented arguments for who should gain custody of the Heretek, but the Magistrate revealed their target's transport had crashed in enemy territory and the Magistrate would deal with him. Having few options left, the agents stole an Aquila Lander and headed to retrieve their mark. Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante. Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider becoming a Patron of Dumb-Dumbs & Dice for as little as $1 a month and gain access to a ton of extra BTS fun (https://www.patreon.com/dumbdumbdice)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Watch us on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Instagram (https://instagram.com/dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Facebook (https://facebook.com/dumbdumbdice) Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/)- Twitter (https://twitter.com/deltastic)

The agents set out on their first mission, to extract an imprisoned Heretek whose experiments should prove useful. Armed with forged papers for prisoner transfer, they arrived at the fortress precinct on Arcturus IV, a planet in the midst of a civil war, now having to convince the magistrate to release the Heretek to their custody. Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante. Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider becoming a Patron of Dumb-Dumbs & Dice for as little as $1 a month and gain access to a ton of extra BTS fun (https://www.patreon.com/dumbdumbdice)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Watch us on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Instagram (https://instagram.com/dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Facebook (https://facebook.com/dumbdumbdice) Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/)- Twitter (https://twitter.com/deltastic)

Brother Solomon convinced the rest of the inquisitorial band to undergo a secret ceremony from his homeworld, in order to understand each other and become a more cohesive unit, each sharing a secret fear and a secret hope. Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante. Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider becoming a Patron of Dumb-Dumbs & Dice for as little as $1 a month and gain access to a ton of extra BTS fun (https://www.patreon.com/dumbdumbdice)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Watch us on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Instagram (https://instagram.com/dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Facebook (https://facebook.com/dumbdumbdice) Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/)- Twitter (https://twitter.com/deltastic)

80% of the Jesters team are part of a new series we're inviting you to check out this week! The first two eps are getting dropped here and then new weekly episodes will be available in the feed for Agents of the Inquisition (so go like and follow/subscribe/whatever your app allows). AND IF YOU LIKE THESE TWO EPISODES THE THIRD IS OUT ALREADY! Enjoy and thanks for listening! Interrogator Morgan Rhalls is hauled out of prison and assigned a team of hand-picked operatives to lead on a mission ordered by Roboute Guilliman himself. Her task is so secret that she's forced to operate under special condition - her actions will be denied even by her own Inquisitor. Can Morgan become a true Agent of the Inquisition? Or will she and her team fall to Chaos before her duty is done? Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante. Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider becoming a Patron of Dumb-Dumbs & Dice for as little as $1 a month and gain access to a ton of extra BTS fun (https://www.patreon.com/dumbdumbdice)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Watch us on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Instagram (https://instagram.com/dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Facebook (https://facebook.com/dumbdumbdice) Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/)- Twitter (https://twitter.com/deltastic)

80% of the Jesters team are part of a new series we're inviting you to check out this week! The first two eps are getting dropped here and then new weekly episodes will be available in the feed for Agents of the Inquisition (so go like and follow/subscribe/whatever your app allows). AND IF YOU LIKE THESE TWO EPISODES THE THIRD IS OUT ALREADY! Enjoy and thanks for listening! Interrogator Morgan Rhalls is hauled out of prison and assigned a team of hand-picked operatives to lead on a mission ordered by Roboute Guilliman himself. Her task is so secret that she's forced to operate under special condition - her actions will be denied even by her own Inquisitor. Can Morgan become a true Agent of the Inquisition? Or will she and her team fall to Chaos before her duty is done? Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante. Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider becoming a Patron of Dumb-Dumbs & Dice for as little as $1 a month and gain access to a ton of extra BTS fun (https://www.patreon.com/dumbdumbdice)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Watch us on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Instagram (https://instagram.com/dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Facebook (https://facebook.com/dumbdumbdice) Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/)- Twitter (https://twitter.com/deltastic)

When corporations install anti-activist poison pills they are less likely to implement new share buybacks and their operationally-focused capital expenditures tend to be higher, UC Berkeley School of Law professor Ofer Eldar explains.

Interrogator Morgan Rhalls, working under Special Condition, collected the final members of her new crew: a psyker, Damien Proxima, and Avarice, their savant. They boarded their rogue trader vessel, The Lucky Strike, and began to familiarize themselves with their new surroundings and their new allies. Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante. Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider becoming a Patron of Dumb-Dumbs & Dice for as little as $1 a month and gain access to a ton of extra BTS fun (https://www.patreon.com/dumbdumbdice)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Watch us on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Instagram (https://instagram.com/dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Facebook (https://facebook.com/dumbdumbdice) Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/)- Twitter (https://twitter.com/deltastic)

Having received orders from her inquisitor, Interrogator Morgan Rhalls set out to gather the operatives for her new retinue. Judge Buchanan Rex and Brother Solomon Gale have now joined Morgan as agents and they have set out to meet their next contact, a psyker. Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante. Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider becoming a Patron of Dumb-Dumbs & Dice for as little as $1 a month and gain access to a ton of extra BTS fun (https://www.patreon.com/dumbdumbdice)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Watch us on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Instagram (https://instagram.com/dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Facebook (https://facebook.com/dumbdumbdice) Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/)- Twitter (https://twitter.com/deltastic)