Podcasts about Kringle

The countdown is on. In just one week, Santa Claus will spread Christmas cheer across the world to those on his Nice list. But in St. Louis, Santa, aka Kris Kringle, performs with his band, the Jolly Jingles, at their annual Christmas Extravaganza. They play a medley of traditional Christmas music — and originals — infused with gospel, rock and roll and ska. Kringle sat down with STLPR's visuals editor Brian Munoz to discuss his music, his special brand of holiday joy and the band's new single “Egg Nog: North Pole Rock and Roll.”

Miracle On Route 34: Part 2 Virginia and Santa face extreme danger together. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Someone attacked Santa with a wicked-looking spiked hand-axe, something out of a sci-fi movie. He batted the weapon aside and clapped his open hands across the man's ears, busting his brain. Before he dropped, Santa grabbed the corpse and swung it around in a wide arc, smashing it into the foes surrounding him and knocking them back. "Shit!" Ginny squealed as one of the targets landed near her. "It's like the fucking Matrix in here!" As he threw the corpse away, he paused very briefly and glanced at her. "Since you happen to be right there, how about a little mood music?" "What?" "I'm just saying some music would be nice if we're going to be doing this," he called. "You're next to the entertainment system, how about putting something on?" "You’re shitting me, right?" she almost complained, wincing as she heard something delicate-sounding and expensive smash behind her amidst the wild brawl. She stared at the multimedia system, flapping her arms in frustration as she tried to focus through the noise. This couldn't be happening. She clutched the sleeves of her plush robe for a moment, trying to concentrate on its soft, fuzzy texture and center herself. She'd almost forgotten the large nerf gun in her hands but ignored it now, fixing her gaze on the mp3 playlist. She pressed a button. "Silent night; Holy night;" Bing crooned through the room. "Not really what I had in mind!" Santa mentioned loudly as he rammed his knee into a man's chin. "Try again!" Ginny bit her lip and pressed the button again, this time rewarded with Gary Glitter singing 'Another Rock And Roll Christmas'. "Still not quite there," he said as he snapmared another foe. "Better, but not quite!" "Well I don't know!" she shouted in exasperation. "What kind of music do you put on while Santa kills things in your living room?" Santa turned sideways and thrust his foot out, kicking an intruder in the chest and sending him sprawling backwards, rolling head over heels until he thumped into the entertainment system, jolting it and skipping the player. "I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees? I am a slut, please hold me down, I'll be your noise, This shit will fuck you up!" "Perfect!" he declared as he fought, swarmed once again by foes. "Seriously?" Ginny yelled. "Combichrist is Santa's fucking fighting groove?" "I'm trying to figure out why you have it on your playlist," Santa replied. "I don't remember you liking aggrotech!" "Why the hell do you of all people even know what it is?" she shot back, wincing as she watched another body sail into the opposite wall with a sickening crunch before dropping to the floor and leaving a huge, crumbling dent in the stone. 'This Shit Will Fuck You Up!' "I prefer the term 'Hellektro' myself," he added. "And I know all songs, silly. I remember when the Dayglo Abortions wrote that 'Hey Santa!' song back in the '80's, they didn't get presents for” "I didn't ask, why are you answering?" she hissed. "Kill! Kill!" All the while, the pounding rhythms of the music filled the room. "I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees? I am a slut, please hold me down, I'll be your noise, This shit will fuck you up!" "Well, at least we know why it's on your playlist, anyway!" he mentioned as he broke someone's back over his knee. "Very funny, red man!" Ginny hissed, scowling. She ducked wildly as another assailant flew overhead and landed in the Jacuzzi, his neck slamming against the hard edge with a snap noise and then tilting at a strange angle, his eyes wide and unseeing. "Fucking hell," she muttered. "These guys eat too much red meat!" Santa smashed two heads together before punting a third man in the chest, sending him staggering back until he fell against the entertainment unit, right next to Ginny, his eyes spiraling in his head. She scowled down at him for a moment before smashing the pitcher of nog on his cranium and sending him to the floor. Every single intruder stopped and turned to look at her suddenly, their eyes narrowing and turning very yellow. "Eep;" Ginny said quietly, going pale. They all howled and lunged toward her, even as Santa fought to reach her first. She shrieked in fright. "Darn it, Ginny!" he shouted in what almost sounded like irritation. "I told you not to do anything!" "You said not to use the stupid nerf gun!" she shot back as she dodged wildly and began to run around, evading her pursuers. "I meant don't do anything to get yourself noticed!" he growled as he bulldogged one man's head into the floor. He sprang to his feet and grabbed another man by the back of the head, ramming his face into the stone wall, creating a small crater from which the body slumped only slowly and wetly. "How the hell did they not notice the mostly naked girl in the room?" she yelled, sprinting around the circumference of the room, being chased by yellow-eyed foes. "They're mostly quantum, they don't always perceive real-state things or beings until they're interacted with!" he answered. "They weren't looking for you until you announced yourself!" "Oh, you and your weird physics shit!" she groused, her robe coming more and more undone as she ran. One of her tits was exposed, bouncing annoyingly and the nipple hardening as a cold wind from the endless holes in her walls and windows blew into the room. "Now what?" "Well, since they know you're here, you might as well use the gun," he answered as he tackled a small knot of them who were looking to cut off her avenue of escape. "At least then you can defend yourself if you're careful!" "The fuck am I supposed to do?" she shouted angrily as she clutched the ridiculous, useless gun. "Nerf them to death? Hope I shoot one foam dart down a throat and hope the bastard chokes and dies?" "Didn't you just let me inside all of your orifices?" he pointed out as he spun low, sweeping one foe's feet from under him and then taking him by the ankles to slam him off the floor. "Trust me, Virginia!" "Dammit!" she spat, steeling her nerve, hoping her resolve was harder than her nipple currently was. Taking a deep breath, she stopped running and spun, pointing the gun and pulling the plastic trigger; She yelped in astonishment as coruscating arcs of lightning crackled and lashed out from the muzzle, enveloping several foes, who wailed in glowing agony before disappearing from view. "Jesus H Fucking Tesla!" she exclaimed in amazement as she gaped down at her toy. "Virginia, language!" Santa warned. She rolled her eyes and pointed at another man rushing her, pulling the trigger and watching him explode in a shower of scintillating particles. "This shit will fuck you up!" blared the speakers. The wall splintered next to Ginny and several terrifying creatures barged in, causing her to shriek in fright, they were easily Santa's size, vaguely humanoid but covered in a greyish, segmented carapace, with insectoid heads, evil-looking mandibles and huge claws at the end of four arms. They hissed as the lunged for her. "Fuck fuck fuck!" cried out as she began running. "Fucking hate motherfucking bugs!" She fired wildly behind herself without looking, managing to strike one of the new creatures but only slowing it down. Ginny raced for the stairs, stampeding up them only to find more of the yellow-eyed humanoids waiting for her. "Santa!" she cried out in terror. "Help!" He glanced her way and grimaced at her predicament. "Aw, hell;" With a strength born of the desperation to protect one of his precious children, he surged forward, shoulder-blocking his way through a knot of assailants, springing through the air with astonishing agility, alternately using the wall and railing of the stairs to get to the upper floor, twisting and executing a flying kick that downed a foe about to attack Ginny. "Good thing I wore my enhanced parkour boots tonight, eh?" he muttered as he glared at the foes crowding to get up the stairs or down the hallway at them. "I don't even know what that means." Ginny snapped, backing up warily as the horde coming for them grew in numbers. "If that's some sort of geek speak, then we, are you getting bigger?" "I guess I am," he replied, grimly, glaring at their foes. "I don't expect what I'm saying to make sense, but the other iterations of me, my other selves, they're all coming here, merging with me to help meet the threat." "You're; consolidating?" she asked in disbelief. "That's one way to look at it," he said, his blue eyes flashing. "It's gonna make finishing the Christmas run tight if I get held up here much longer." "Oh, terribly sorry if I'm inconveniencing you, your highness." Ginny said, trying to not sound too snide. He put his body between her and her foes, backing her up against the wall. "They can't come through the wall you're up against, it's the South wall," he said quietly but with a sense of urgency. "You're safe from that angle. You can fire your gun past me or over the rail at the guys down below. Since they're trying to reach you that means they've solidified enough that they can't do crazy things like jump seven meters up to reach you, they'll have to use the stairs." "I thought they were after you." Ginny said hotly. "They were, until you announced yourself with a jug of nog," he pointed out. "Now they want to destroy you to hurt me." "Oh. Sorry." Ginny mumbled somewhat sheepishly. "You can make it up to me later!" he said as he surged forward suddenly, bulling his way through the approaching crowd, clotheslining several at once. Shouts went up and the fight was on again. Santa punched, kicked, elbowed, kneed and wrenched his way through the enemy horde. Ginny swore he was indeed bigger than he had been earlier. His already hard body physique was almost bulging with muscles now, like a California beach bodybuilder. Black blood glistened on his flawless skin as he maimed the attackers. Droplets that hit the carpet sizzled and ate through it, burning the hardwood floor beneath. "No!" Ginny wailed in despair. "Not the hardwood! I loved that feature!" She glared and gritted her teeth as she leaned over the railing and pointed the nerf gun down at the endless crowd on the main floor, pulling the trigger. The crackling arcs of energy enveloped several foes, who wailed and vanished. Same as before, the giant insectoids rarely disappeared but seemed slowed or staggered by the attack. Santa fought his way forward, forcing the attackers back from Ginny. Try as they might, no one got by him, even if it meant that they could strike at him instead. He took their assaults resolutely, using his body as a shield to protect her. Before long, the floor of the hallway was littered with bodies, some barely stirring, others not moving at all. Still, the foes swarmed up the stairs. One of the bug-things swiped at him with its vicious claws and he ducked under the blow before kicking his boot into one of the reverse-jointed legs, snapping it. The bug screeched and tumbled and he leapt onto its back, grabbing hold of one of the large, wet-grey chitinous plates that armored its back and pulled, it tore away with a mushy crack and the beast's keened agony as it shuddered and thrashed. Without pausing, Santa whirled around and slammed the exoskeletal plate across several men's heads, dropping them. Ginny kept firing the nerf tesla gun, wondering what sort of sociopath would invent a deadly weapon that looked like a famous kid's toy. She pushed it from her mind, realizing that she wanted to live and didn't care at the moment about the social mores of the issue. Santa was using the huge chitin plate almost like a shield, driving his foes back with it to the stairs. It finally cracked in half and he punched through the mess, unwilling to give the enemy time to regroup. He spun one man around with a fist across the jaw before grabbing his arms from behind and ramming his knee into the man's back, lifting him off the floor and letting him slam his spine onto the stairs. Without waiting, Santa launched himself through the air, knee raised and smashed it into the face of a man on the stair's corner landing. The foe's head went back through the wall with a loud crunch and he hung there limply, no longer part of the battle. "Ack!" Ginny squawked as the nerf gun sputtered and let out several impotent flashes and then died. "Not now! No no no!" One foe had broken through the cordon and now raced toward her. She yelled loudly and smashed the butt of her nerf gun into his face, staggering him for a moment. She glared at him angrily, waiting for him to fall, but her didn't, so she kicked him in the crotch with her instep. He groaned and sunk to his knees, holding himself. Ginny was practically jumping up and down on top of him by the time he stopped moving. "Stay; the; fuck; down!" she shouted angrily as she turned his ribcage into powder. She failed to notice the one last foe who rushed up behind her. But then Santa was at her side and he delivered a devastating haymaker to the man's thorax. Stunned, the intruder staggered back against the railing. With a growl, Santa grabbed him by the face and ruthlessly bent his back over the railing before leaping over and slamming his elbow across the man's neck as he went down to the main floor. The lifeless form crumpled next to him as he looked around, glaring. No foes remained standing. Aside from the music, all was quiet. "It is safe?" Ginny called from the gallery. "Are the scary guys and bug-thingies all gone?" "No," Santa said warily. "And the next wave is even bigger." "Great!" Ginny complained, tossing the useless nerf gun over the side. "And according to you, there's no one that can help us!" "I didn't say that," he countered, beckoning for her to come down the stairs and be near him for protection. "I just said there was no Easter Bunny." "No Superman either, apparently," she grumbled as she approached him, letting him put a huge arm around her possessively. He was, indeed, bigger than ever. She was practically child-sized next to him now. "So who the hell is there to help us?" "If help's arriving it had better get here soon," he said, taking her to the remains of her big glass bay windows and back door. The wind was howling as snow drove into the living room. What was left of it, anyway. Which was nothing. "It's now or never. Can you see them?" She peered into the darkness outside and a chill ran down her spine, hundreds of red and yellow glowing eyes could be seen in the darkness. And they seemed to be getting closer. "Do; do they see me?" she asked, swallowing nervously. "I'm sure they do," he said, grimacing. "Not going to take a chance and assume they don't. I'll do everything I can to protect you, of course." "Is; is that going to be enough?" She could hear the angry hisses and an evil chanting outside clearly now, getting closer with each moment. It pained Santa that he couldn't lie to her. "I don't know, Virginia." She sighed and smiled weakly. "Well, at least I know there's a Santa Claus now. And he gave me the night of my life before it all ended." He returned the smile, trying to feign a cheerfulness he didn't feel. "I don't;" Ginny faltered, trying to find the words. "I don't suppose that you'd; well; that you'd be willing to kiss me one last time? You know, before the end?" He turned to look down at her, his hands holding her arms with an unreal gentleness and a warmth in his eyes that comforted her even now. "Nothing would make me happier, Virginia." She smiled and closed her eyes. "Merry Christmas, Santa." "Merry Christmas, Virginia;" he said softly as he leaned down to kiss her. Then the night was filled with high-pitched shrieks, a noise that made her eyes snap open. She'd heard noises like that before, once a long time ago in grade school. It sounds like the hissing passage of meteors above, and getting closer. Or what she imagined artillery sounded like when it was incoming, like in all those war movies. Santa's head turned and an almost evil grin crept over his face as he listened. "That's more like it!" he declared, standing tall and pointing at the blackness of the night. "Watch the sky, Virginia;" She looked up and noticed glittering points of light, dozens of them, seeming to get closer. The hissing shriek was indeed their approach and they seemed to be aimed right at them. She felt Santa's hand squeeze on her shoulder, almost in excitement. His blue eyes were blazing ferociously. Finally, what looked like dozens of giant icicles, each larger and longer than a semi, lanced out of the night sky and slammed into the earth around her house, shaking it as they buried their tips in the frozen ground and came to a stop. Several impaled the intruders as they came in, while others kicked up a covering spray of snow as the enemy stopped and looked around in confusion. Then doors or portals opened on the sides of the titan icicles and tall, lithe beings began leaping out of them, wearing weird, form-fitting armor and carrying space-age guns and swords or axes. Their armor and long hair was a riot of colors that was reflected by the snow and ice. Wild, ululating war cries pierced the air. And a savage, bloody battle began on her property. "Who the hell are they?" Ginny almost yelled in astonishment as she watched. They moved with inhuman grace and speed, the ones not wearing helmets revealing long, beautiful facial features that were often frightening because of the wrath they displayed. The helmets were all tall and peaked, showing fearsome designs and glowing eyes. Weird runes pulsed and throbbed with light all over their armor. Guns hissed and shrieked while swords hummed as they slew. "My elves," Santa said, clearly pleased and also eager to fight but not willing to leave her side yet. "They got my call and converged on my position." "Those are elves?" she exclaimed in amazement. "Aren't they cutesy little toy-shop people?" "Cute myth, but no, not these ones," he replied, watching as several elves wearing bone-white armor with feminine features raced past, throwing themselves into a knot of the hulking bugs. They screamed and the masks of their wild-maned helmets gave off vibrations that shook Ginny's teeth in her head as it melted their foes' faces off. "No, a lot of my elves are warriors, meant to help me fight Krampus. They keep Christmas safe with me." "What the hell are they wearing?" she asked in disbelief. How could this weird night get any weirder? Santa sighed. "Truth? They've been spending way too much time playing Warhammer 40k and they; appropriated armor, weapons and tactics from the Eldar faction. They're space elves." "Wow. Gay;" she muttered, shaking her head. "Well, they're certainly earning their keep tonight." He nodded. "Been a long time since Krampus moved against us this hard. Apparently he got bored and was feeling uppity. That or he just forgot what a good thrashing felt like." Ginny watched as three elves, clad in scary black armor and wearing helmets that looked like peaked skulls, marched relentlessly forward, firing little rockets from elaborate launchers they carried in their hands and on suspensor harnesses. The rockets punctured the bugs' chitin shells and exploded inside them, sending shards of exoskeleton and stinking goo in every direction. Ginny squeaked and hid behind Santa as some of the nasty effluence landed right where she'd been standing only a moment before. Beams of super-heated plasma and tiny, shuriken-like projectiles hissed and whizzed by them, the remains of her lovely house now the center of a battleground while the winter storm raged on. Warriors in green armor, carrying weapons that looked like a horrifying hybrid of sword and chainsaw, tore into a knot of foes, slicing them to bloody ribbons. As savage as the battle had been earlier, when it had just been her and Santa, she suddenly appreciated its relative civility. "They need my help," Santa said finally, cracking his knuckles, his expression grim. "We have to finish this off or Christmas won't come on time." "I thought you said there was plenty of time." Ginny protested, frowning up at him. "There was," he admitted. "But in order to defeat Krampus' minions, I summoned every single quantum iteration of myself back to here to help me fight. No one is delivering presents anywhere at the moment. I can't change real-time if I'm here in my entirety." He turned and looked at her. "Hopefully we're keeping them busy enough that they don't worry about you. Stay against the wall and work the music, will you?" "Manning the music station," she said, nodding, focusing on giving herself a task. "Music for Santa and his homicidal elves to kill by. Got it;" She watched as Santa leapt through the shattered remains of her bay doors into the howling storm and crashed into a knot of foes, savaging them. She watched in disbelief for some time, trying to figure out how Santa could kill anyone. I mean, even serial murderers got presents in prison, didn't they? Maybe they didn't, she had no way of knowing and chalked up thinking about this to what could only be described as the weirdest night of her life. She squealed and dodged out of the way as a body came flying through the doors and landed next to her. She scrambled over to the entertainment center and stood in front of it, trying to figure out what the hell she should play. "Okay;" she breathed, trying to focus. "Mass slaughter music; mass slaughter music;" What constituted mass slaughter music? Death metal? Panic At The Disco? Teletubbies music? She had no playlists, so she began cycling through the radio, hoping to find anything that might suffice. Oldies; Christmas music; hip-hop; trance; disco; "Son of a fuck," she muttered. "This is harder than it looks." She finally came across a station playing 'Jailhouse Rock' and decided that was good enough, she was sick of looking. She winced, trying to ignore another splintering crash as a body came through her wall. She hugged herself but then felt her robe. She frowned as she looked down at it, realizing it had been thoroughly shredded in the fight earlier. Those shuriken-thingies had been cutting it real close. Ginny grumbled as she pulled it off and threw it away, standing there completely naked, it hadn't been keeping her warm in its current condition and she was thoroughly beyond giving a shit at this point about who saw her naked. They were all too damn busy tearing one another apart anyway. And that sort of pissed her off. She was buck-naked and no one seemed to care. She'd shaved her cunt for this? "And I thought my night sucked before," she sighed to no one in particular. "Not getting my cunt pounded had been my biggest complaint before this hack!" She never saw the menacing shadow that had slipped up behind her. Santa picked one of his foes up overhead and hurled him into a cluster of foes, bowling them all over. He then punched another man as he tried to run by, knocking him off his feet and into his back. A quick stamp on his solar plexus made sure he stopped moving. The huge man thrust his fist in the air and shouted loudly. "Clear!" he thundered, indicating no other enemies surrounded him. His elves responded in kind, many of them gathering in a tight ring about him, weapons facing out as they sought to protect him. Hundreds of bodies lay strewn across the landscape, some burning from plasma blasts, other shredded and blown apart by rockets or sliced into bloody jerky. The storm seemed to be abating, no longer a blizzard so much as a stiff wind and swirls of snow. "Sire, we detect no enemies in the immediate vicinity," one elf wearing blue armor with a tall, crested helmet announced, striding up and saluting by thumping his gauntleted fist over his heart. "This attack has been defeated." "Maybe," Santa said, looking around warily. "But that doesn't mean anything just yet. We have to secure the area, make sure Virginia is alright and then get back to” "Kringle!" "Damn," he muttered to himself. "I thought this was too easy." He made several complex gestures, sending his elves fanning out in a wide arc as he began trudging forward through the snow, heading toward where the voice had come from out of the night. The winds and squalls of snow continued to die down until there was an almost deafening silence, the moon shining brightly overhead and revealing the sheer carnage of the battle that had been waged, the snow and ice glittered with frozen blood. "Kringle!" snarled the inhuman voice angrily. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" Santa said loudly, scowling. "Don't get your panties in a bunch!" He stopped in a clearing on the other side of the house, glowering at who confronted him, the beast was not as tall as he was, nor as muscular, but horrifying in aspect. The backward-jointed, hairy legs ended in wicked hooves. The skin not covered in coarse black fur was almost as dark and criss-crossed with innumerable scars. The vascular chest was crowned with a strong neck and sitting atop it was a blasphemous head, a demonic goat's visage from which grew four evil, twisting horns. The red eyes blazed like wrathful coals and sharp teeth glistened wetly inside the hateful mouth. Krampus. And in one of his powerful, clawed hands, he held Virginia by the neck, who looked like a rag doll. "Hi, Santa;" she said weakly, looking very apologetic. Santa kept walking forward, clenching his fists. "By all means, Kringle, keep coming forward if you mean to slay the child." Krampus growled, starting to squeeze and causing Ginny to shudder in fear. Santa stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes narrowing. His elves had now cast a tight net around the scene, hemming in Krampus. One circle of warriors faced inward, pointing their weapons at the abomination while another behind them faced out, prepared for any further attacks. Santa didn't move. "Let the girl go, Krampus," he said levelly. "This doesn't concern her." "Oh, I beg to differ," said the beastman in an almost non-chalant tone. "It's always about the children, isn't it?" "Hey!" said Ginny angrily. "I am not a child, jerk! I'm twenty, Gurr!" "Oh, do stop talking, you're such an annoyance." Krampus said, giving her neck another warning squeeze. "Let the adults work this out." "There's nothing to work out, Krampus," Santa growled, his blue eyes flashing. "You'll let the girl go." "I think we both know that's not happening," intoned the vile intruder. "She is my victory over you, and you know it. Revenge is not only a dish best served cold but often. And not often enough for me." "About this cold revenge dish thing," Ginny said, squirming slightly. "Couldn't; couldn't I just find you a nice tin can to chew on instead?" "Shut up, girl!" Krampus said harshly while several elves could be heard to chuckle and even Santa smirked at her jest. "I hold your life in my hands, to dispose of as I please." His foul breath crackled in the cold night air. His touch was uncomfortably warm, almost hot and strangely kept her body from freezing in the winter night. His touch felt evil and her skin crawled in revulsion. His strength was terrifying. "It wasn't enough that I slaved in coal mines for you, giving you carbon lumps to deliver to naughty children," Krampus growled, glaring at Santa. "It wasn't enough that I found the worst of them and brought them to you in the night so you could lecture them." "Hey, nobody asked you or ordered you to do the coal thing, pal," Santa said angrily. "And the whole kidnapping kids thing was your idea. I decided to let you have some creative control and look what happened. When it didn't work out, you decided that beating naughty kids with reeds was the answer. You're damn right that wasn't good enough!" "Silence!" Krampus snarled loudly, stamping one of his clawed hooves and making the ground shake dangerously. "Your kind-hearted foolishness with these puny mortals changed nothing about their behavior! Your failure to recognize their inherent selfishness was why our efforts were doomed!" "These puny mortals?" Santa countered. "You used to be one of them, Pete, remember? You were a well-behaved boy once." "Shut up!" growled Krampus. "Well-behaved, but not good," Santa continued. "You followed the rules and wanted everyone to follow rules. You were a control freak. I brought you north to show you what kindness could do, but you hated the cheer and the happiness and you fled to the coal mines in Greenland, hiding in the dark where the light of Christmas couldn't touch you! And when making kids feel bad with coal didn't bring them into line, you started the whole whipping them with reeds thing. Good job there, Pete!" "I'm warning you, Kringle;" Krampus said dangerously. "Oh, he really gets your goat, doesn't he?" Ginny sneered, causing several elves to laugh loudly. Krampus now snarled furiously and lifted her into the air by her neck, causing her to cry out in pain. Santa watched warily, knowing better than to make a move. "We seem to have an impasse," Krampus said, an evil smile playing over his slavering mouth. "You cannot harm me, because you know I can slay the child, but I cannot as yet slay her because she is my bargaining chip. But my need to hurt you, old man, is so very strong." He lowered Ginny down until her feet were just touching the snow-covered ground. She frowned as she heard a wet slithering sound she could not identify. "And there are other ways to hurt you than slaying the poor dear, aren't there?" Ginny felt something slimy touch her leg and then start to crawl up it, wrapping around her smooth skin. She shuddered and squirmed in horror as she realized exactly what was happening. The snake-like appendage wound up her thigh and then behind her. She gasped as it slid between her ass cheeks and then underneath to her cunt. She felt the blunt head split her lips and then move upward again. "Don't do this, Krampus." Santa said, trying to figure out what to do without hurting Ginny. "And why not?" replied the qliphotic abomination. "Don't you have a present for me? Then I guess I'll have to give myself one." Krampus' organ continued to slither its way around her body, leaving a glistening trail on her skin. She stiffened and moaned as his appendage wrapped around her tits, squeezing them, the head pausing and teasing the nipples. "Hey, asshole, dinner and a movie first!" she spat angrily. Ginny was about to say something else when the large, grayish cockhead snaked up in front of her face and then plunged into her mouth, causing her to gag and go silent. Her eyes widened and she thrashed furiously, but to no avail. He was simply too strong. "Language, young lady." Krampus chided, still staring at Santa. "Hasn't Santa taught you anything?" "This isn't gonna end well for you, Pete." Santa said, his tone dire. "Christmas never does, Kringle," replied the demon, his cock sliding in and out of Ginny's mouth. "I'm just hoping to make the holiday every bit as awful and intolerable for you as it is for me. After all, misery loves company." He brought her body close to his head and his other hand reached over and stroked her cunt lips, which were glistening. He leered at his foe, knowing Santa was helpless to get closer. "Is she good down here?" Krampus said mockingly. "Nice and wet and tight for you? Was she the best one ever, in the endless list of good girls you have fucked?" Santa said nothing, just glaring at Krampus. His knuckles were white as he clenched his fists. "Sharing your toys is the spirit of Christmas, isn't it?" Krampus said evilly, finally pulling his cock out of her mouth. Ginny coughed and sputtered, tendrils of resinous spittle and worse trailing away from her lips. She glared at Krampus but was still immobilized. "Just get this over with and fuck me already, whip-cock," she spat. "You won't be my first egotistical disappointment, trust me." Krampus' eyes blazed red and his tongue sped around her naked form blindingly quickly while he released her from his clawed grip. The tongue wrapped and immobilized her arms, holding them out straight while still encircling her tits. It then snaked around her waist and legs, pinning those as well while his long cock, swaying about like a cobra, came to a stop in front of her swollen cunt lips. The head teased and tapped against the opening, causing her to moan and squirm. "As you wish, child;" The head forced itself through her lips, sliding deep inside her. Ginny cried out in a mixture of shock and indescribable pleasure. She felt the tip of his pointed tongue probe trailing around her nipples. The python-like length of his cock churned inside her cunt. The blinding light behind her eyes finally receded and she lifted her head, looking out into the night, feeling his tongue constricting around her neck. She could dimly see a huge being in red pants and black boots watching nearby, his powerful chest exposed. The startling blue eyes flashed in the darkness of the night. She could tell he wanted to rescue her but didn't dare come closer. She gasped and shuddered as Krampus' cock pushed still deeper inside her. She felt fuller than she had imagined possible, the slithering appendage stretching her wide. The sticky, squelching noises were hardly to be believed. "Ew, gross! Hentai noises!" she thought in revulsion. "Krampus;" Santa warned. His elves all pointed their weapons menacingly but he held up his hand, staying them. "The child is naughty," Krampus said, smiling through pointed teeth. "Very naughty. Such a sordid past." "Hey, back off, she was young and needed the money!" Santa snapped defensively. "That thing with the midget and the donkey was” "You're not helping here!" Ginny shouted, blushing furiously, even as Krampus violated her. "Wicked child," growled the vile demon, shoving his cock in and out of her, the peristaltic actions of its length causing her to writhe and squirm in his grip, her breath coming in ragged gasps. "Shameless. Even though I violate her, she finds a way to be concerned about how you perceive her. I find it; titillating." "Oh, do I make you horny?" she sneered, turning her head to smirk at him. "Couldn't tell, looking at that head of yours." "Silence!" Krampus hissed, spittle flying from his jaws, his eyes flashing angrily. "I hold your life and death in my hands." "How would I know?" she shot back. "Hope you're better with your hands than you are with your cock, Billy G." He plunged his cock deeper still inside her. She went rigid and cried out. "That all you got?" she rasped, trying not to faint as she felt popping inside her hips while he stetched her. "My brother got in deeper than that when we were little!" "Insolent!" Krampus snarled savagely, bouncing her up and down and he fucked her harder than ever, pulling on her arms and legs, stretching her joints til they creaked. She felt a deep, wet heat building inside her and in spite of the horror she consciously felt about the situation, even more dire was her need to cum. She felt her cunt squeezing around his cock. His snake-like tongue probed her ass and wriggled inside, further adding to her desperation. "Intholent bith, you will be punithed!" "What was that?" Santa asked, turning his head slightly and putting his hand to his ear. "I couldn't understand you, it's like you have a lisp or something." "Don't mock meef!" Krampus said angrily, his tongue whipping out of Ginny's ass, causing her to yelp suddenly. "I'll kill her, Kringle!" "Not before I cum, damn you!" Ginny panted, her body flushed and covered in sweat as she twisted and writhed in his grip. "Uh, so close, goddammit!" "Language!" Santa and Krampus both snapped at her. "Aw, c'mon!" she wailed. "You two are total pains in the ass! Do it, Billy! Show me what a bad boy you are!" Krampus glared at her and began fucking her harder than ever. "As you wish, child!" "Krampus!" Santa shouted, reaching out his hand in alarm. "Don't!" Krampus grinned evilly at Santa, his teeth clenching as he drew close to climax. His cock seemed to swell along its length, stretching her wider still. She threw her head back and gritted her teeth, straining as she was overwhelmed by sensation; Santa's fist slammed across Krampus' jaw with a powerful crack. The demonoid's eyes rolled into his head and he crumpled to the ground. Ginny wailed in frustration as his cock pulled out of her and retreated back to his body, like a wet, slimy Stanley tape measure. She collapsed to her hands and knees in the snow, panting and shaking, her eyes wide. Santa raced up and knelt next to her, his eyes shining with concern. "Fuck;" Ginny whispered, gasping for air. "Motherfucker;" She looked up at her rescuer now, her eyes flashing accusingly. "The hell? Couldn't you have let him make me cum first?" Santa paused. "What?" "I was so damn close!" she hissed, standing up and stamping her foot. "I was within half a second of the orgasm of my life and you had to choose that moment to intervene and play the hero! Don't expect a thank you card!" "Uh, Virginia," Santa said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, trying to figure out what to say. "If he had brought you to orgasm, it would have killed you. When Krampus climaxes, his appendage you were so attached to bursts into spikes, basically killing you from the inside while denying you your orgasm." She paused and then deflated. "Holy cobra dildos. What a bastard." Ginny then pointed a finger at her savior. "But you still owe me an orgasm, then, pal. You may have rescued me from certain death, but that doesn't mean I don't need relief." Santa looked really confused. "What, here? Now?" "Damn straight," she said firmly, suddenly remembering she was buck naked in a snow-storm. In spite of the no-doubt freezing weather, her body was still warm and very wet with need. She put her hand down her cunt and felt around for a moment before presenting her sticky palm and fingers to Santa for inspection. "Do I look satisfied to you? You've already fucked me, Screamo the Goat Boy just fucked me, who cares if your freaky gay elves watch us? I need satisfaction now and I already am aware that you can't say no." Santa sighed. "It's gotta be quick, Virginia. I'm really behind, now that I'm completely temporal in one location." "Whatever, just get me to the promised land, man." Ginny replied, shrugging. "Who knows, maybe your entourage might enjoy a show." "Oh, right, about that," Santa said, standing up tall and shouting loudly. "About; Face!" As a single unit, the elves all turned around smartly on their heels, still arranged in a protective ring around their liege and his companion, weapons ready as they scanned the darkness for trouble, their eyes glowing menacingly inside their helmets. Santa strode up to Ginny, towering over her and ignoring the prostrate form of the still-unconscious Krampus, snuffling nearby. She smiled up at him, somehow warmed by his presence, in spite of the icy night she should have frozen to death in already. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. She moaned into his mouth as she felt her already molten core getting even more heated in response to his touch. Tongues tangled and played as he took her ass cheeks in his hands and squeezed them, making her shiver. Ginny's hands fumbled with his large black belt until it fell away and then pulled down his red pants. He pulled her onto his powerful thighs, resting her on them. She hooked her legs behind his waist and began grinding her wet, eager cunt against his hardening cock, which swelled readily. Her head was almost spinning, she was so horny. "Hmm, give it to me, baby," she purred, feeling the head of his cock touch her cunt lips. "Make me cum hard and fast." She sighed loudly as he pulled her close, penetrating and sliding deep inside her. Ginny moaned shamelessly as Santa once again began to pump back and forth inside her. His huge cock stretched her cunt wide, but not in the violent, violating way Krampus did. This felt warm and utterly perfect. She nipped at the skin of his chest while he moved in and out of her. "Yes," Ginny breathed as he began to moved faster, pumping strongly and rhythmically. She could feel her wetness trickling down between her cheeks, her cunt clutching at him hungrily, greedily and unwilling to let go until it was somehow sated. "Oh, God, just what I needed. Yes, fuck me, Santa!" He gripped her tight and thrust into her, picking up his pace just the way she wanted. She was gasping and yelping now and he squeezed her cheeks, one of his fingers poking inside her puckered knot. She clenched her teeth and groaned at the intrusion, murmuring that she loved it. She grew warmer and warmer, her body tingling with an exquisite fire that rippled out from her core. Santa turned her around and set her feet on top of his boots, bending her forward and pulling on her arms. She cried out as he fucked her harder, his hips thumping against her ass cheeks. Her hands clenched wildly, her breath coming in gasps as his overwhelming strength dominated her. "Oh, God!" she panted, beginning to shudder uncontrollably, almost drooling. "Uh, cum in me, dammit! Fucking cum in me!" Santa pulled on her arms even tighter as his thighs slammed into her. Ginny strained, craning her neck, teeth clenched as she tried not to scream, but it was no use, she wailed loudly as he came inside her, filling her once again in a way she could not describe. Her orgasm shook every last atom of her being, transporting her to a world of nothing but pleasure, edged with mint. She buckled, hanging loosely in his arms, exhausted. She'd been fucked hard at least five times tonight and had a dreadful suspicion that this experience would only make her libido even more hyperactive. She sighed as Santa scooped her naked form into his arms and cuddled her against the cold. Ginny purred and traced a fingernail across his broad chest. "Thank you," she said quietly. "Just what the doctor ordered. That quenched the flames, for now." He finally put her down and she looked at the remains of her ruined chateau, which was completely leveled and now on fire. "Poor Oatmeal," she murmured. "Where am I going to live?" She scowled down at the still supine Krampus, anger flaring in her. "It's this jack wagon’s fault. You should totally napalm his face." Santa looked down at her in shock. "Did you just say I should jerk off in Krampus' face?" "Damn right, he'd deserve it too." Ginny announced. "That and shove your sleigh up his ass." "I am not jizzing in Krampus' face." Santa said, clearly repulsed by the suggestion. "Fine, leave a woman to do a man's job," Ginny said testily, striding over to Krampus and putting one leg on either side of his head. She stuck three fingers inside her cunt and managed to tease out considerable amounts of Santa's minty cum, which she smeared all over Krampus' face and into his fur with glee, even giving him a glistening white moustache. "Take that, asshole!" She looked like she might have been done desecrating the unconscious form, but then she paused and squatted over him, peeing on his body and face, the stream steaming in the cold night air. She grinned evilly as she thoroughly baptized him. "Teach you to mess with me." Ginny muttered as she walked back to Santa, nodding. The huge man had a wide smirk on his face and shook his head slowly. "I can't believe you just pissed all over Krampus," he said, hugging her to him. "However, you're going to freeze to death at this rate;" He held out his hand and one of his elves dutifully brought him a large, velvety red cloak, which he wrapped around her. She blushed and smiled gratefully at his consideration, but only until he slid it off her, revealing that she was now wearing some ridiculous 'Hot Christmas Elf' outfit, complete with striped stockings and high heels. She looked like a Yule whore. "Seriously?" she asked, unimpressed. "This is your solution to my naked issues?" He shrugged. "I liked you better naked, but you would freeze quickly." "Whatever," she sighed, looking down and appreciating the considerable lift it gave her cleavage. It was incredibly warm, in spite of how scant it was. "So now what? I still have no damn home, you and Goatse here blew it up with your little barnyard brawl." Santa looked around warily. "That might be the least of your worries. The wind's picking up again, which means that another assault is coming. We need to get out of here." "Sire!" said one of the armored elves, thumping his fist to his breastplate and bowing his head. "We will cover you. You must go while you still have a head-start and the dark one is unconscious." Santa nodded. "Yeah, he's not gonna be happy when he wakes up and he's really gonna want revenge on you, Virginia." She felt her mouth go dry at the notion of another battle and Krampus waking up to even the score. "So; now what?" Santa shrugged. "I'd say it's fairly obvious. I've still got to make my rounds before the night is over and I'm not leaving you here;" She gaped as he put his hands on her shoulders and looked down into her eyes. "Virginia, you're coming with me and you're going to help save Christmas." Chapter 3, Christmas Wishes "How the hell do you drive this thing?" Ginny called in a panic, her eyes wide as she held onto the reigns, twisting them wildly as she tried to steer. Up ahead of her, eight large reindeer squealed and thrashed their heads. The sleigh corkscrewed while it hurtled through the cold night air, the moon shining down on them. "Well, first of all, stop panicking," Santa replied as he stood on the back of the sleigh, atop his huge red sack of toys. He was more or less back to his original size she had become accustomed to, now that he had sent his other 'iterations' of himself out over the globe to deliver presents. "That would be an excellent start." "Easy for you to say," she snapped, scowling back at him for a moment since taking her eyes off her designated path seemed to make no difference to how she was doing at navigating. "You're used to doing this!" "Trust me, between the two of us, you're the one with the easy job right now and I'd be happy to trade," he called back as he ducked wildly. A comically large rocket thundered by, with an evil-looking man strapped to the bottom of it, swinging a weapon wildly to hit Santa. "Try to keep her steady!" "While dodging psychos on rockets, no problem!" she grumbled, trying to ignore the howling wind and roaring projectiles. "Have I mentioned Krampus is a gigantic asshole?" "Repeatedly," Santa answered, watching warily. The sky was threaded with jets of fire as their enemies kept coming about in ponderous, elliptical arcs and heading back towards them, intent on their destruction. They had only just pulled off from the smoldering remains of Ginny's country chateau when the assault began. Krampus was nowhere to be seen, but his minions were clearly determined to avenge him. "Maybe urinating on him wasn't such a good idea. He never did take humiliation well." Ginny squawked in alarm and ducked as a rocket streaked right at her. Santa jumped in the air, doing the splits to avoid the projectile and landing back on top of his present sack. Another tried to pull up alongside them but Santa grabbed the harness the man was wearing and wrenched the rocket off course, sending it speeding into one some distance away. Both rockets (and presumably their pilots) exploded in a violent orgy of noise and flashing lights. "Really hope people just think those are fireworks," Santa muttered as he looked glared balefully at yet another rocket considering approaching. "Fireworks right in the middle of the world's most spastic meteor shower. Sure, they'll buy that;" "Funny part is I can't tell if you're serious," Ginny said loudly. "If they don't believe that narrative, then they've gotta accept that Santa Claus was engaged in an epic air battle over their town with quantum men strapped to rockets." "Truth is often stranger than fiction," Santa agreed, nodding. "Fighting these jerks off is taking too much time!" "Well, don't you have anything in your back of tricks there?" Ginny asked. In spite of the sleigh being open, it seemed to have some weird form of climate control and she'd been getting rather warm. To that end she'd pulled down her top, exposing her tits to cool herself off. The breeze allowed through made her nipples tingle delightfully, but not enough to distract her from driving the sleigh. After all, she often drove ninety minutes to her job wearing a vibrating insert in her panties, so she knew for a fact she could orgasm and still control a vehicle. A wheeled one, at least. She wasn't so sure about a sleigh doing Mach Three at twenty thousand feet. "You mean a weapon?" Santa asked. "In the bag full of toys for kids?" "You gave me a nerf gun out of that bag and it turned out to be some sort of doomsday device, didn't it?" she pointed out. "Scary lightning bolts everywhere. I refuse to believe you don't have some other goodies in there." Santa shrugged and squatted down to look inside the bag, getting narrowly missed by another rocket that shot over his head. The pilot cursed and came around again, aiming directly at the chassis of the sleigh from the side. Ginny's eyes widened in fright as she saw him approach. She jerked the reins to one side and the sleigh tilted ninety degrees, presenting its wide, flat red underside. The rocket slammed into it and exploded. Whatever it was made of or whatever shielding was in place, Ginny only heard the detonation and felt a rumble, but there was no damage aside from that. "Ha!" Santa said, standing tall and holding an electric guitar in the air, its black body gleamed in the moonlight. He put the strap around his neck and took several seconds to tune it, ignoring the aerial mayhem that swirled around him. "The hell are you going to do with that?" Ginny asked, scowling as she looked behind to see what he was up to. "You said to find something, I found something," he said simply as he checked the pickups. "Now let's see what we can do here;" He took the pick in hand and strummed it across the strings, a screeching pulse of sound blared out from the instrument, heading in all directions. It struck several rockets nearby, which exploded brightly. Other were knocked off course, spiraling around crazily as they fought for control. Santa laughed loudly, apparently enjoying himself. "Quit laughing and kill, red man!" Ginny yelled, nonplussed by his amusement. "I want to survive the night and I've had several close calls with death already!" "I'm working on it, Virginia, patience." Santa chided, adjusting the tuners momentarily. "Near-death experiences make you cranky." "No shit, Sherlock," she grumbled as he blasted out another screeching wave of sound. "Do you plan to play anything or just keep shrieking out that one sound?" "As you wish," he said cheerfully, pleased to be doing as she asked. Making her happy was all he cared about. He began playing a heavy metal version of Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkyries', the pulsing walls of sound thundering out and striking every foe within hundreds of

Miracle On Route 34: Part 2 Virginia and Santa face extreme danger together. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Someone attacked Santa with a wicked-looking spiked hand-axe, something out of a sci-fi movie. He batted the weapon aside and clapped his open hands across the man's ears, busting his brain. Before he dropped, Santa grabbed the corpse and swung it around in a wide arc, smashing it into the foes surrounding him and knocking them back. "Shit!" Ginny squealed as one of the targets landed near her. "It's like the fucking Matrix in here!" As he threw the corpse away, he paused very briefly and glanced at her. "Since you happen to be right there, how about a little mood music?" "What?" "I'm just saying some music would be nice if we're going to be doing this," he called. "You're next to the entertainment system, how about putting something on?" "You’re shitting me, right?" she almost complained, wincing as she heard something delicate-sounding and expensive smash behind her amidst the wild brawl. She stared at the multimedia system, flapping her arms in frustration as she tried to focus through the noise. This couldn't be happening. She clutched the sleeves of her plush robe for a moment, trying to concentrate on its soft, fuzzy texture and center herself. She'd almost forgotten the large nerf gun in her hands but ignored it now, fixing her gaze on the mp3 playlist. She pressed a button. "Silent night; Holy night;" Bing crooned through the room. "Not really what I had in mind!" Santa mentioned loudly as he rammed his knee into a man's chin. "Try again!" Ginny bit her lip and pressed the button again, this time rewarded with Gary Glitter singing 'Another Rock And Roll Christmas'. "Still not quite there," he said as he snapmared another foe. "Better, but not quite!" "Well I don't know!" she shouted in exasperation. "What kind of music do you put on while Santa kills things in your living room?" Santa turned sideways and thrust his foot out, kicking an intruder in the chest and sending him sprawling backwards, rolling head over heels until he thumped into the entertainment system, jolting it and skipping the player. "I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees? I am a slut, please hold me down, I'll be your noise, This shit will fuck you up!" "Perfect!" he declared as he fought, swarmed once again by foes. "Seriously?" Ginny yelled. "Combichrist is Santa's fucking fighting groove?" "I'm trying to figure out why you have it on your playlist," Santa replied. "I don't remember you liking aggrotech!" "Why the hell do you of all people even know what it is?" she shot back, wincing as she watched another body sail into the opposite wall with a sickening crunch before dropping to the floor and leaving a huge, crumbling dent in the stone. 'This Shit Will Fuck You Up!' "I prefer the term 'Hellektro' myself," he added. "And I know all songs, silly. I remember when the Dayglo Abortions wrote that 'Hey Santa!' song back in the '80's, they didn't get presents for” "I didn't ask, why are you answering?" she hissed. "Kill! Kill!" All the while, the pounding rhythms of the music filled the room. "I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees? I am a slut, please hold me down, I'll be your noise, This shit will fuck you up!" "Well, at least we know why it's on your playlist, anyway!" he mentioned as he broke someone's back over his knee. "Very funny, red man!" Ginny hissed, scowling. She ducked wildly as another assailant flew overhead and landed in the Jacuzzi, his neck slamming against the hard edge with a snap noise and then tilting at a strange angle, his eyes wide and unseeing. "Fucking hell," she muttered. "These guys eat too much red meat!" Santa smashed two heads together before punting a third man in the chest, sending him staggering back until he fell against the entertainment unit, right next to Ginny, his eyes spiraling in his head. She scowled down at him for a moment before smashing the pitcher of nog on his cranium and sending him to the floor. Every single intruder stopped and turned to look at her suddenly, their eyes narrowing and turning very yellow. "Eep;" Ginny said quietly, going pale. They all howled and lunged toward her, even as Santa fought to reach her first. She shrieked in fright. "Darn it, Ginny!" he shouted in what almost sounded like irritation. "I told you not to do anything!" "You said not to use the stupid nerf gun!" she shot back as she dodged wildly and began to run around, evading her pursuers. "I meant don't do anything to get yourself noticed!" he growled as he bulldogged one man's head into the floor. He sprang to his feet and grabbed another man by the back of the head, ramming his face into the stone wall, creating a small crater from which the body slumped only slowly and wetly. "How the hell did they not notice the mostly naked girl in the room?" she yelled, sprinting around the circumference of the room, being chased by yellow-eyed foes. "They're mostly quantum, they don't always perceive real-state things or beings until they're interacted with!" he answered. "They weren't looking for you until you announced yourself!" "Oh, you and your weird physics shit!" she groused, her robe coming more and more undone as she ran. One of her tits was exposed, bouncing annoyingly and the nipple hardening as a cold wind from the endless holes in her walls and windows blew into the room. "Now what?" "Well, since they know you're here, you might as well use the gun," he answered as he tackled a small knot of them who were looking to cut off her avenue of escape. "At least then you can defend yourself if you're careful!" "The fuck am I supposed to do?" she shouted angrily as she clutched the ridiculous, useless gun. "Nerf them to death? Hope I shoot one foam dart down a throat and hope the bastard chokes and dies?" "Didn't you just let me inside all of your orifices?" he pointed out as he spun low, sweeping one foe's feet from under him and then taking him by the ankles to slam him off the floor. "Trust me, Virginia!" "Dammit!" she spat, steeling her nerve, hoping her resolve was harder than her nipple currently was. Taking a deep breath, she stopped running and spun, pointing the gun and pulling the plastic trigger; She yelped in astonishment as coruscating arcs of lightning crackled and lashed out from the muzzle, enveloping several foes, who wailed in glowing agony before disappearing from view. "Jesus H Fucking Tesla!" she exclaimed in amazement as she gaped down at her toy. "Virginia, language!" Santa warned. She rolled her eyes and pointed at another man rushing her, pulling the trigger and watching him explode in a shower of scintillating particles. "This shit will fuck you up!" blared the speakers. The wall splintered next to Ginny and several terrifying creatures barged in, causing her to shriek in fright, they were easily Santa's size, vaguely humanoid but covered in a greyish, segmented carapace, with insectoid heads, evil-looking mandibles and huge claws at the end of four arms. They hissed as the lunged for her. "Fuck fuck fuck!" cried out as she began running. "Fucking hate motherfucking bugs!" She fired wildly behind herself without looking, managing to strike one of the new creatures but only slowing it down. Ginny raced for the stairs, stampeding up them only to find more of the yellow-eyed humanoids waiting for her. "Santa!" she cried out in terror. "Help!" He glanced her way and grimaced at her predicament. "Aw, hell;" With a strength born of the desperation to protect one of his precious children, he surged forward, shoulder-blocking his way through a knot of assailants, springing through the air with astonishing agility, alternately using the wall and railing of the stairs to get to the upper floor, twisting and executing a flying kick that downed a foe about to attack Ginny. "Good thing I wore my enhanced parkour boots tonight, eh?" he muttered as he glared at the foes crowding to get up the stairs or down the hallway at them. "I don't even know what that means." Ginny snapped, backing up warily as the horde coming for them grew in numbers. "If that's some sort of geek speak, then we, are you getting bigger?" "I guess I am," he replied, grimly, glaring at their foes. "I don't expect what I'm saying to make sense, but the other iterations of me, my other selves, they're all coming here, merging with me to help meet the threat." "You're; consolidating?" she asked in disbelief. "That's one way to look at it," he said, his blue eyes flashing. "It's gonna make finishing the Christmas run tight if I get held up here much longer." "Oh, terribly sorry if I'm inconveniencing you, your highness." Ginny said, trying to not sound too snide. He put his body between her and her foes, backing her up against the wall. "They can't come through the wall you're up against, it's the South wall," he said quietly but with a sense of urgency. "You're safe from that angle. You can fire your gun past me or over the rail at the guys down below. Since they're trying to reach you that means they've solidified enough that they can't do crazy things like jump seven meters up to reach you, they'll have to use the stairs." "I thought they were after you." Ginny said hotly. "They were, until you announced yourself with a jug of nog," he pointed out. "Now they want to destroy you to hurt me." "Oh. Sorry." Ginny mumbled somewhat sheepishly. "You can make it up to me later!" he said as he surged forward suddenly, bulling his way through the approaching crowd, clotheslining several at once. Shouts went up and the fight was on again. Santa punched, kicked, elbowed, kneed and wrenched his way through the enemy horde. Ginny swore he was indeed bigger than he had been earlier. His already hard body physique was almost bulging with muscles now, like a California beach bodybuilder. Black blood glistened on his flawless skin as he maimed the attackers. Droplets that hit the carpet sizzled and ate through it, burning the hardwood floor beneath. "No!" Ginny wailed in despair. "Not the hardwood! I loved that feature!" She glared and gritted her teeth as she leaned over the railing and pointed the nerf gun down at the endless crowd on the main floor, pulling the trigger. The crackling arcs of energy enveloped several foes, who wailed and vanished. Same as before, the giant insectoids rarely disappeared but seemed slowed or staggered by the attack. Santa fought his way forward, forcing the attackers back from Ginny. Try as they might, no one got by him, even if it meant that they could strike at him instead. He took their assaults resolutely, using his body as a shield to protect her. Before long, the floor of the hallway was littered with bodies, some barely stirring, others not moving at all. Still, the foes swarmed up the stairs. One of the bug-things swiped at him with its vicious claws and he ducked under the blow before kicking his boot into one of the reverse-jointed legs, snapping it. The bug screeched and tumbled and he leapt onto its back, grabbing hold of one of the large, wet-grey chitinous plates that armored its back and pulled, it tore away with a mushy crack and the beast's keened agony as it shuddered and thrashed. Without pausing, Santa whirled around and slammed the exoskeletal plate across several men's heads, dropping them. Ginny kept firing the nerf tesla gun, wondering what sort of sociopath would invent a deadly weapon that looked like a famous kid's toy. She pushed it from her mind, realizing that she wanted to live and didn't care at the moment about the social mores of the issue. Santa was using the huge chitin plate almost like a shield, driving his foes back with it to the stairs. It finally cracked in half and he punched through the mess, unwilling to give the enemy time to regroup. He spun one man around with a fist across the jaw before grabbing his arms from behind and ramming his knee into the man's back, lifting him off the floor and letting him slam his spine onto the stairs. Without waiting, Santa launched himself through the air, knee raised and smashed it into the face of a man on the stair's corner landing. The foe's head went back through the wall with a loud crunch and he hung there limply, no longer part of the battle. "Ack!" Ginny squawked as the nerf gun sputtered and let out several impotent flashes and then died. "Not now! No no no!" One foe had broken through the cordon and now raced toward her. She yelled loudly and smashed the butt of her nerf gun into his face, staggering him for a moment. She glared at him angrily, waiting for him to fall, but her didn't, so she kicked him in the crotch with her instep. He groaned and sunk to his knees, holding himself. Ginny was practically jumping up and down on top of him by the time he stopped moving. "Stay; the; fuck; down!" she shouted angrily as she turned his ribcage into powder. She failed to notice the one last foe who rushed up behind her. But then Santa was at her side and he delivered a devastating haymaker to the man's thorax. Stunned, the intruder staggered back against the railing. With a growl, Santa grabbed him by the face and ruthlessly bent his back over the railing before leaping over and slamming his elbow across the man's neck as he went down to the main floor. The lifeless form crumpled next to him as he looked around, glaring. No foes remained standing. Aside from the music, all was quiet. "It is safe?" Ginny called from the gallery. "Are the scary guys and bug-thingies all gone?" "No," Santa said warily. "And the next wave is even bigger." "Great!" Ginny complained, tossing the useless nerf gun over the side. "And according to you, there's no one that can help us!" "I didn't say that," he countered, beckoning for her to come down the stairs and be near him for protection. "I just said there was no Easter Bunny." "No Superman either, apparently," she grumbled as she approached him, letting him put a huge arm around her possessively. He was, indeed, bigger than ever. She was practically child-sized next to him now. "So who the hell is there to help us?" "If help's arriving it had better get here soon," he said, taking her to the remains of her big glass bay windows and back door. The wind was howling as snow drove into the living room. What was left of it, anyway. Which was nothing. "It's now or never. Can you see them?" She peered into the darkness outside and a chill ran down her spine, hundreds of red and yellow glowing eyes could be seen in the darkness. And they seemed to be getting closer. "Do; do they see me?" she asked, swallowing nervously. "I'm sure they do," he said, grimacing. "Not going to take a chance and assume they don't. I'll do everything I can to protect you, of course." "Is; is that going to be enough?" She could hear the angry hisses and an evil chanting outside clearly now, getting closer with each moment. It pained Santa that he couldn't lie to her. "I don't know, Virginia." She sighed and smiled weakly. "Well, at least I know there's a Santa Claus now. And he gave me the night of my life before it all ended." He returned the smile, trying to feign a cheerfulness he didn't feel. "I don't;" Ginny faltered, trying to find the words. "I don't suppose that you'd; well; that you'd be willing to kiss me one last time? You know, before the end?" He turned to look down at her, his hands holding her arms with an unreal gentleness and a warmth in his eyes that comforted her even now. "Nothing would make me happier, Virginia." She smiled and closed her eyes. "Merry Christmas, Santa." "Merry Christmas, Virginia;" he said softly as he leaned down to kiss her. Then the night was filled with high-pitched shrieks, a noise that made her eyes snap open. She'd heard noises like that before, once a long time ago in grade school. It sounds like the hissing passage of meteors above, and getting closer. Or what she imagined artillery sounded like when it was incoming, like in all those war movies. Santa's head turned and an almost evil grin crept over his face as he listened. "That's more like it!" he declared, standing tall and pointing at the blackness of the night. "Watch the sky, Virginia;" She looked up and noticed glittering points of light, dozens of them, seeming to get closer. The hissing shriek was indeed their approach and they seemed to be aimed right at them. She felt Santa's hand squeeze on her shoulder, almost in excitement. His blue eyes were blazing ferociously. Finally, what looked like dozens of giant icicles, each larger and longer than a semi, lanced out of the night sky and slammed into the earth around her house, shaking it as they buried their tips in the frozen ground and came to a stop. Several impaled the intruders as they came in, while others kicked up a covering spray of snow as the enemy stopped and looked around in confusion. Then doors or portals opened on the sides of the titan icicles and tall, lithe beings began leaping out of them, wearing weird, form-fitting armor and carrying space-age guns and swords or axes. Their armor and long hair was a riot of colors that was reflected by the snow and ice. Wild, ululating war cries pierced the air. And a savage, bloody battle began on her property. "Who the hell are they?" Ginny almost yelled in astonishment as she watched. They moved with inhuman grace and speed, the ones not wearing helmets revealing long, beautiful facial features that were often frightening because of the wrath they displayed. The helmets were all tall and peaked, showing fearsome designs and glowing eyes. Weird runes pulsed and throbbed with light all over their armor. Guns hissed and shrieked while swords hummed as they slew. "My elves," Santa said, clearly pleased and also eager to fight but not willing to leave her side yet. "They got my call and converged on my position." "Those are elves?" she exclaimed in amazement. "Aren't they cutesy little toy-shop people?" "Cute myth, but no, not these ones," he replied, watching as several elves wearing bone-white armor with feminine features raced past, throwing themselves into a knot of the hulking bugs. They screamed and the masks of their wild-maned helmets gave off vibrations that shook Ginny's teeth in her head as it melted their foes' faces off. "No, a lot of my elves are warriors, meant to help me fight Krampus. They keep Christmas safe with me." "What the hell are they wearing?" she asked in disbelief. How could this weird night get any weirder? Santa sighed. "Truth? They've been spending way too much time playing Warhammer 40k and they; appropriated armor, weapons and tactics from the Eldar faction. They're space elves." "Wow. Gay;" she muttered, shaking her head. "Well, they're certainly earning their keep tonight." He nodded. "Been a long time since Krampus moved against us this hard. Apparently he got bored and was feeling uppity. That or he just forgot what a good thrashing felt like." Ginny watched as three elves, clad in scary black armor and wearing helmets that looked like peaked skulls, marched relentlessly forward, firing little rockets from elaborate launchers they carried in their hands and on suspensor harnesses. The rockets punctured the bugs' chitin shells and exploded inside them, sending shards of exoskeleton and stinking goo in every direction. Ginny squeaked and hid behind Santa as some of the nasty effluence landed right where she'd been standing only a moment before. Beams of super-heated plasma and tiny, shuriken-like projectiles hissed and whizzed by them, the remains of her lovely house now the center of a battleground while the winter storm raged on. Warriors in green armor, carrying weapons that looked like a horrifying hybrid of sword and chainsaw, tore into a knot of foes, slicing them to bloody ribbons. As savage as the battle had been earlier, when it had just been her and Santa, she suddenly appreciated its relative civility. "They need my help," Santa said finally, cracking his knuckles, his expression grim. "We have to finish this off or Christmas won't come on time." "I thought you said there was plenty of time." Ginny protested, frowning up at him. "There was," he admitted. "But in order to defeat Krampus' minions, I summoned every single quantum iteration of myself back to here to help me fight. No one is delivering presents anywhere at the moment. I can't change real-time if I'm here in my entirety." He turned and looked at her. "Hopefully we're keeping them busy enough that they don't worry about you. Stay against the wall and work the music, will you?" "Manning the music station," she said, nodding, focusing on giving herself a task. "Music for Santa and his homicidal elves to kill by. Got it;" She watched as Santa leapt through the shattered remains of her bay doors into the howling storm and crashed into a knot of foes, savaging them. She watched in disbelief for some time, trying to figure out how Santa could kill anyone. I mean, even serial murderers got presents in prison, didn't they? Maybe they didn't, she had no way of knowing and chalked up thinking about this to what could only be described as the weirdest night of her life. She squealed and dodged out of the way as a body came flying through the doors and landed next to her. She scrambled over to the entertainment center and stood in front of it, trying to figure out what the hell she should play. "Okay;" she breathed, trying to focus. "Mass slaughter music; mass slaughter music;" What constituted mass slaughter music? Death metal? Panic At The Disco? Teletubbies music? She had no playlists, so she began cycling through the radio, hoping to find anything that might suffice. Oldies; Christmas music; hip-hop; trance; disco; "Son of a fuck," she muttered. "This is harder than it looks." She finally came across a station playing 'Jailhouse Rock' and decided that was good enough, she was sick of looking. She winced, trying to ignore another splintering crash as a body came through her wall. She hugged herself but then felt her robe. She frowned as she looked down at it, realizing it had been thoroughly shredded in the fight earlier. Those shuriken-thingies had been cutting it real close. Ginny grumbled as she pulled it off and threw it away, standing there completely naked, it hadn't been keeping her warm in its current condition and she was thoroughly beyond giving a shit at this point about who saw her naked. They were all too damn busy tearing one another apart anyway. And that sort of pissed her off. She was buck-naked and no one seemed to care. She'd shaved her cunt for this? "And I thought my night sucked before," she sighed to no one in particular. "Not getting my cunt pounded had been my biggest complaint before this hack!" She never saw the menacing shadow that had slipped up behind her. Santa picked one of his foes up overhead and hurled him into a cluster of foes, bowling them all over. He then punched another man as he tried to run by, knocking him off his feet and into his back. A quick stamp on his solar plexus made sure he stopped moving. The huge man thrust his fist in the air and shouted loudly. "Clear!" he thundered, indicating no other enemies surrounded him. His elves responded in kind, many of them gathering in a tight ring about him, weapons facing out as they sought to protect him. Hundreds of bodies lay strewn across the landscape, some burning from plasma blasts, other shredded and blown apart by rockets or sliced into bloody jerky. The storm seemed to be abating, no longer a blizzard so much as a stiff wind and swirls of snow. "Sire, we detect no enemies in the immediate vicinity," one elf wearing blue armor with a tall, crested helmet announced, striding up and saluting by thumping his gauntleted fist over his heart. "This attack has been defeated." "Maybe," Santa said, looking around warily. "But that doesn't mean anything just yet. We have to secure the area, make sure Virginia is alright and then get back to” "Kringle!" "Damn," he muttered to himself. "I thought this was too easy." He made several complex gestures, sending his elves fanning out in a wide arc as he began trudging forward through the snow, heading toward where the voice had come from out of the night. The winds and squalls of snow continued to die down until there was an almost deafening silence, the moon shining brightly overhead and revealing the sheer carnage of the battle that had been waged, the snow and ice glittered with frozen blood. "Kringle!" snarled the inhuman voice angrily. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" Santa said loudly, scowling. "Don't get your panties in a bunch!" He stopped in a clearing on the other side of the house, glowering at who confronted him, the beast was not as tall as he was, nor as muscular, but horrifying in aspect. The backward-jointed, hairy legs ended in wicked hooves. The skin not covered in coarse black fur was almost as dark and criss-crossed with innumerable scars. The vascular chest was crowned with a strong neck and sitting atop it was a blasphemous head, a demonic goat's visage from which grew four evil, twisting horns. The red eyes blazed like wrathful coals and sharp teeth glistened wetly inside the hateful mouth. Krampus. And in one of his powerful, clawed hands, he held Virginia by the neck, who looked like a rag doll. "Hi, Santa;" she said weakly, looking very apologetic. Santa kept walking forward, clenching his fists. "By all means, Kringle, keep coming forward if you mean to slay the child." Krampus growled, starting to squeeze and causing Ginny to shudder in fear. Santa stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes narrowing. His elves had now cast a tight net around the scene, hemming in Krampus. One circle of warriors faced inward, pointing their weapons at the abomination while another behind them faced out, prepared for any further attacks. Santa didn't move. "Let the girl go, Krampus," he said levelly. "This doesn't concern her." "Oh, I beg to differ," said the beastman in an almost non-chalant tone. "It's always about the children, isn't it?" "Hey!" said Ginny angrily. "I am not a child, jerk! I'm twenty, Gurr!" "Oh, do stop talking, you're such an annoyance." Krampus said, giving her neck another warning squeeze. "Let the adults work this out." "There's nothing to work out, Krampus," Santa growled, his blue eyes flashing. "You'll let the girl go." "I think we both know that's not happening," intoned the vile intruder. "She is my victory over you, and you know it. Revenge is not only a dish best served cold but often. And not often enough for me." "About this cold revenge dish thing," Ginny said, squirming slightly. "Couldn't; couldn't I just find you a nice tin can to chew on instead?" "Shut up, girl!" Krampus said harshly while several elves could be heard to chuckle and even Santa smirked at her jest. "I hold your life in my hands, to dispose of as I please." His foul breath crackled in the cold night air. His touch was uncomfortably warm, almost hot and strangely kept her body from freezing in the winter night. His touch felt evil and her skin crawled in revulsion. His strength was terrifying. "It wasn't enough that I slaved in coal mines for you, giving you carbon lumps to deliver to naughty children," Krampus growled, glaring at Santa. "It wasn't enough that I found the worst of them and brought them to you in the night so you could lecture them." "Hey, nobody asked you or ordered you to do the coal thing, pal," Santa said angrily. "And the whole kidnapping kids thing was your idea. I decided to let you have some creative control and look what happened. When it didn't work out, you decided that beating naughty kids with reeds was the answer. You're damn right that wasn't good enough!" "Silence!" Krampus snarled loudly, stamping one of his clawed hooves and making the ground shake dangerously. "Your kind-hearted foolishness with these puny mortals changed nothing about their behavior! Your failure to recognize their inherent selfishness was why our efforts were doomed!" "These puny mortals?" Santa countered. "You used to be one of them, Pete, remember? You were a well-behaved boy once." "Shut up!" growled Krampus. "Well-behaved, but not good," Santa continued. "You followed the rules and wanted everyone to follow rules. You were a control freak. I brought you north to show you what kindness could do, but you hated the cheer and the happiness and you fled to the coal mines in Greenland, hiding in the dark where the light of Christmas couldn't touch you! And when making kids feel bad with coal didn't bring them into line, you started the whole whipping them with reeds thing. Good job there, Pete!" "I'm warning you, Kringle;" Krampus said dangerously. "Oh, he really gets your goat, doesn't he?" Ginny sneered, causing several elves to laugh loudly. Krampus now snarled furiously and lifted her into the air by her neck, causing her to cry out in pain. Santa watched warily, knowing better than to make a move. "We seem to have an impasse," Krampus said, an evil smile playing over his slavering mouth. "You cannot harm me, because you know I can slay the child, but I cannot as yet slay her because she is my bargaining chip. But my need to hurt you, old man, is so very strong." He lowered Ginny down until her feet were just touching the snow-covered ground. She frowned as she heard a wet slithering sound she could not identify. "And there are other ways to hurt you than slaying the poor dear, aren't there?" Ginny felt something slimy touch her leg and then start to crawl up it, wrapping around her smooth skin. She shuddered and squirmed in horror as she realized exactly what was happening. The snake-like appendage wound up her thigh and then behind her. She gasped as it slid between her ass cheeks and then underneath to her cunt. She felt the blunt head split her lips and then move upward again. "Don't do this, Krampus." Santa said, trying to figure out what to do without hurting Ginny. "And why not?" replied the qliphotic abomination. "Don't you have a present for me? Then I guess I'll have to give myself one." Krampus' organ continued to slither its way around her body, leaving a glistening trail on her skin. She stiffened and moaned as his appendage wrapped around her tits, squeezing them, the head pausing and teasing the nipples. "Hey, asshole, dinner and a movie first!" she spat angrily. Ginny was about to say something else when the large, grayish cockhead snaked up in front of her face and then plunged into her mouth, causing her to gag and go silent. Her eyes widened and she thrashed furiously, but to no avail. He was simply too strong. "Language, young lady." Krampus chided, still staring at Santa. "Hasn't Santa taught you anything?" "This isn't gonna end well for you, Pete." Santa said, his tone dire. "Christmas never does, Kringle," replied the demon, his cock sliding in and out of Ginny's mouth. "I'm just hoping to make the holiday every bit as awful and intolerable for you as it is for me. After all, misery loves company." He brought her body close to his head and his other hand reached over and stroked her cunt lips, which were glistening. He leered at his foe, knowing Santa was helpless to get closer. "Is she good down here?" Krampus said mockingly. "Nice and wet and tight for you? Was she the best one ever, in the endless list of good girls you have fucked?" Santa said nothing, just glaring at Krampus. His knuckles were white as he clenched his fists. "Sharing your toys is the spirit of Christmas, isn't it?" Krampus said evilly, finally pulling his cock out of her mouth. Ginny coughed and sputtered, tendrils of resinous spittle and worse trailing away from her lips. She glared at Krampus but was still immobilized. "Just get this over with and fuck me already, whip-cock," she spat. "You won't be my first egotistical disappointment, trust me." Krampus' eyes blazed red and his tongue sped around her naked form blindingly quickly while he released her from his clawed grip. The tongue wrapped and immobilized her arms, holding them out straight while still encircling her tits. It then snaked around her waist and legs, pinning those as well while his long cock, swaying about like a cobra, came to a stop in front of her swollen cunt lips. The head teased and tapped against the opening, causing her to moan and squirm. "As you wish, child;" The head forced itself through her lips, sliding deep inside her. Ginny cried out in a mixture of shock and indescribable pleasure. She felt the tip of his pointed tongue probe trailing around her nipples. The python-like length of his cock churned inside her cunt. The blinding light behind her eyes finally receded and she lifted her head, looking out into the night, feeling his tongue constricting around her neck. She could dimly see a huge being in red pants and black boots watching nearby, his powerful chest exposed. The startling blue eyes flashed in the darkness of the night. She could tell he wanted to rescue her but didn't dare come closer. She gasped and shuddered as Krampus' cock pushed still deeper inside her. She felt fuller than she had imagined possible, the slithering appendage stretching her wide. The sticky, squelching noises were hardly to be believed. "Ew, gross! Hentai noises!" she thought in revulsion. "Krampus;" Santa warned. His elves all pointed their weapons menacingly but he held up his hand, staying them. "The child is naughty," Krampus said, smiling through pointed teeth. "Very naughty. Such a sordid past." "Hey, back off, she was young and needed the money!" Santa snapped defensively. "That thing with the midget and the donkey was” "You're not helping here!" Ginny shouted, blushing furiously, even as Krampus violated her. "Wicked child," growled the vile demon, shoving his cock in and out of her, the peristaltic actions of its length causing her to writhe and squirm in his grip, her breath coming in ragged gasps. "Shameless. Even though I violate her, she finds a way to be concerned about how you perceive her. I find it; titillating." "Oh, do I make you horny?" she sneered, turning her head to smirk at him. "Couldn't tell, looking at that head of yours." "Silence!" Krampus hissed, spittle flying from his jaws, his eyes flashing angrily. "I hold your life and death in my hands." "How would I know?" she shot back. "Hope you're better with your hands than you are with your cock, Billy G." He plunged his cock deeper still inside her. She went rigid and cried out. "That all you got?" she rasped, trying not to faint as she felt popping inside her hips while he stetched her. "My brother got in deeper than that when we were little!" "Insolent!" Krampus snarled savagely, bouncing her up and down and he fucked her harder than ever, pulling on her arms and legs, stretching her joints til they creaked. She felt a deep, wet heat building inside her and in spite of the horror she consciously felt about the situation, even more dire was her need to cum. She felt her cunt squeezing around his cock. His snake-like tongue probed her ass and wriggled inside, further adding to her desperation. "Intholent bith, you will be punithed!" "What was that?" Santa asked, turning his head slightly and putting his hand to his ear. "I couldn't understand you, it's like you have a lisp or something." "Don't mock meef!" Krampus said angrily, his tongue whipping out of Ginny's ass, causing her to yelp suddenly. "I'll kill her, Kringle!" "Not before I cum, damn you!" Ginny panted, her body flushed and covered in sweat as she twisted and writhed in his grip. "Uh, so close, goddammit!" "Language!" Santa and Krampus both snapped at her. "Aw, c'mon!" she wailed. "You two are total pains in the ass! Do it, Billy! Show me what a bad boy you are!" Krampus glared at her and began fucking her harder than ever. "As you wish, child!" "Krampus!" Santa shouted, reaching out his hand in alarm. "Don't!" Krampus grinned evilly at Santa, his teeth clenching as he drew close to climax. His cock seemed to swell along its length, stretching her wider still. She threw her head back and gritted her teeth, straining as she was overwhelmed by sensation; Santa's fist slammed across Krampus' jaw with a powerful crack. The demonoid's eyes rolled into his head and he crumpled to the ground. Ginny wailed in frustration as his cock pulled out of her and retreated back to his body, like a wet, slimy Stanley tape measure. She collapsed to her hands and knees in the snow, panting and shaking, her eyes wide. Santa raced up and knelt next to her, his eyes shining with concern. "Fuck;" Ginny whispered, gasping for air. "Motherfucker;" She looked up at her rescuer now, her eyes flashing accusingly. "The hell? Couldn't you have let him make me cum first?" Santa paused. "What?" "I was so damn close!" she hissed, standing up and stamping her foot. "I was within half a second of the orgasm of my life and you had to choose that moment to intervene and play the hero! Don't expect a thank you card!" "Uh, Virginia," Santa said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, trying to figure out what to say. "If he had brought you to orgasm, it would have killed you. When Krampus climaxes, his appendage you were so attached to bursts into spikes, basically killing you from the inside while denying you your orgasm." She paused and then deflated. "Holy cobra dildos. What a bastard." Ginny then pointed a finger at her savior. "But you still owe me an orgasm, then, pal. You may have rescued me from certain death, but that doesn't mean I don't need relief." Santa looked really confused. "What, here? Now?" "Damn straight," she said firmly, suddenly remembering she was buck naked in a snow-storm. In spite of the no-doubt freezing weather, her body was still warm and very wet with need. She put her hand down her cunt and felt around for a moment before presenting her sticky palm and fingers to Santa for inspection. "Do I look satisfied to you? You've already fucked me, Screamo the Goat Boy just fucked me, who cares if your freaky gay elves watch us? I need satisfaction now and I already am aware that you can't say no." Santa sighed. "It's gotta be quick, Virginia. I'm really behind, now that I'm completely temporal in one location." "Whatever, just get me to the promised land, man." Ginny replied, shrugging. "Who knows, maybe your entourage might enjoy a show." "Oh, right, about that," Santa said, standing up tall and shouting loudly. "About; Face!" As a single unit, the elves all turned around smartly on their heels, still arranged in a protective ring around their liege and his companion, weapons ready as they scanned the darkness for trouble, their eyes glowing menacingly inside their helmets. Santa strode up to Ginny, towering over her and ignoring the prostrate form of the still-unconscious Krampus, snuffling nearby. She smiled up at him, somehow warmed by his presence, in spite of the icy night she should have frozen to death in already. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. She moaned into his mouth as she felt her already molten core getting even more heated in response to his touch. Tongues tangled and played as he took her ass cheeks in his hands and squeezed them, making her shiver. Ginny's hands fumbled with his large black belt until it fell away and then pulled down his red pants. He pulled her onto his powerful thighs, resting her on them. She hooked her legs behind his waist and began grinding her wet, eager cunt against his hardening cock, which swelled readily. Her head was almost spinning, she was so horny. "Hmm, give it to me, baby," she purred, feeling the head of his cock touch her cunt lips. "Make me cum hard and fast." She sighed loudly as he pulled her close, penetrating and sliding deep inside her. Ginny moaned shamelessly as Santa once again began to pump back and forth inside her. His huge cock stretched her cunt wide, but not in the violent, violating way Krampus did. This felt warm and utterly perfect. She nipped at the skin of his chest while he moved in and out of her. "Yes," Ginny breathed as he began to moved faster, pumping strongly and rhythmically. She could feel her wetness trickling down between her cheeks, her cunt clutching at him hungrily, greedily and unwilling to let go until it was somehow sated. "Oh, God, just what I needed. Yes, fuck me, Santa!" He gripped her tight and thrust into her, picking up his pace just the way she wanted. She was gasping and yelping now and he squeezed her cheeks, one of his fingers poking inside her puckered knot. She clenched her teeth and groaned at the intrusion, murmuring that she loved it. She grew warmer and warmer, her body tingling with an exquisite fire that rippled out from her core. Santa turned her around and set her feet on top of his boots, bending her forward and pulling on her arms. She cried out as he fucked her harder, his hips thumping against her ass cheeks. Her hands clenched wildly, her breath coming in gasps as his overwhelming strength dominated her. "Oh, God!" she panted, beginning to shudder uncontrollably, almost drooling. "Uh, cum in me, dammit! Fucking cum in me!" Santa pulled on her arms even tighter as his thighs slammed into her. Ginny strained, craning her neck, teeth clenched as she tried not to scream, but it was no use, she wailed loudly as he came inside her, filling her once again in a way she could not describe. Her orgasm shook every last atom of her being, transporting her to a world of nothing but pleasure, edged with mint. She buckled, hanging loosely in his arms, exhausted. She'd been fucked hard at least five times tonight and had a dreadful suspicion that this experience would only make her libido even more hyperactive. She sighed as Santa scooped her naked form into his arms and cuddled her against the cold. Ginny purred and traced a fingernail across his broad chest. "Thank you," she said quietly. "Just what the doctor ordered. That quenched the flames, for now." He finally put her down and she looked at the remains of her ruined chateau, which was completely leveled and now on fire. "Poor Oatmeal," she murmured. "Where am I going to live?" She scowled down at the still supine Krampus, anger flaring in her. "It's this jack wagon’s fault. You should totally napalm his face." Santa looked down at her in shock. "Did you just say I should jerk off in Krampus' face?" "Damn right, he'd deserve it too." Ginny announced. "That and shove your sleigh up his ass." "I am not jizzing in Krampus' face." Santa said, clearly repulsed by the suggestion. "Fine, leave a woman to do a man's job," Ginny said testily, striding over to Krampus and putting one leg on either side of his head. She stuck three fingers inside her cunt and managed to tease out considerable amounts of Santa's minty cum, which she smeared all over Krampus' face and into his fur with glee, even giving him a glistening white moustache. "Take that, asshole!" She looked like she might have been done desecrating the unconscious form, but then she paused and squatted over him, peeing on his body and face, the stream steaming in the cold night air. She grinned evilly as she thoroughly baptized him. "Teach you to mess with me." Ginny muttered as she walked back to Santa, nodding. The huge man had a wide smirk on his face and shook his head slowly. "I can't believe you just pissed all over Krampus," he said, hugging her to him. "However, you're going to freeze to death at this rate;" He held out his hand and one of his elves dutifully brought him a large, velvety red cloak, which he wrapped around her. She blushed and smiled gratefully at his consideration, but only until he slid it off her, revealing that she was now wearing some ridiculous 'Hot Christmas Elf' outfit, complete with striped stockings and high heels. She looked like a Yule whore. "Seriously?" she asked, unimpressed. "This is your solution to my naked issues?" He shrugged. "I liked you better naked, but you would freeze quickly." "Whatever," she sighed, looking down and appreciating the considerable lift it gave her cleavage. It was incredibly warm, in spite of how scant it was. "So now what? I still have no damn home, you and Goatse here blew it up with your little barnyard brawl." Santa looked around warily. "That might be the least of your worries. The wind's picking up again, which means that another assault is coming. We need to get out of here." "Sire!" said one of the armored elves, thumping his fist to his breastplate and bowing his head. "We will cover you. You must go while you still have a head-start and the dark one is unconscious." Santa nodded. "Yeah, he's not gonna be happy when he wakes up and he's really gonna want revenge on you, Virginia." She felt her mouth go dry at the notion of another battle and Krampus waking up to even the score. "So; now what?" Santa shrugged. "I'd say it's fairly obvious. I've still got to make my rounds before the night is over and I'm not leaving you here;" She gaped as he put his hands on her shoulders and looked down into her eyes. "Virginia, you're coming with me and you're going to help save Christmas." Chapter 3, Christmas Wishes "How the hell do you drive this thing?" Ginny called in a panic, her eyes wide as she held onto the reigns, twisting them wildly as she tried to steer. Up ahead of her, eight large reindeer squealed and thrashed their heads. The sleigh corkscrewed while it hurtled through the cold night air, the moon shining down on them. "Well, first of all, stop panicking," Santa replied as he stood on the back of the sleigh, atop his huge red sack of toys. He was more or less back to his original size she had become accustomed to, now that he had sent his other 'iterations' of himself out over the globe to deliver presents. "That would be an excellent start." "Easy for you to say," she snapped, scowling back at him for a moment since taking her eyes off her designated path seemed to make no difference to how she was doing at navigating. "You're used to doing this!" "Trust me, between the two of us, you're the one with the easy job right now and I'd be happy to trade," he called back as he ducked wildly. A comically large rocket thundered by, with an evil-looking man strapped to the bottom of it, swinging a weapon wildly to hit Santa. "Try to keep her steady!" "While dodging psychos on rockets, no problem!" she grumbled, trying to ignore the howling wind and roaring projectiles. "Have I mentioned Krampus is a gigantic asshole?" "Repeatedly," Santa answered, watching warily. The sky was threaded with jets of fire as their enemies kept coming about in ponderous, elliptical arcs and heading back towards them, intent on their destruction. They had only just pulled off from the smoldering remains of Ginny's country chateau when the assault began. Krampus was nowhere to be seen, but his minions were clearly determined to avenge him. "Maybe urinating on him wasn't such a good idea. He never did take humiliation well." Ginny squawked in alarm and ducked as a rocket streaked right at her. Santa jumped in the air, doing the splits to avoid the projectile and landing back on top of his present sack. Another tried to pull up alongside them but Santa grabbed the harness the man was wearing and wrenched the rocket off course, sending it speeding into one some distance away. Both rockets (and presumably their pilots) exploded in a violent orgy of noise and flashing lights. "Really hope people just think those are fireworks," Santa muttered as he looked glared balefully at yet another rocket considering approaching. "Fireworks right in the middle of the world's most spastic meteor shower. Sure, they'll buy that;" "Funny part is I can't tell if you're serious," Ginny said loudly. "If they don't believe that narrative, then they've gotta accept that Santa Claus was engaged in an epic air battle over their town with quantum men strapped to rockets." "Truth is often stranger than fiction," Santa agreed, nodding. "Fighting these jerks off is taking too much time!" "Well, don't you have anything in your back of tricks there?" Ginny asked. In spite of the sleigh being open, it seemed to have some weird form of climate control and she'd been getting rather warm. To that end she'd pulled down her top, exposing her tits to cool herself off. The breeze allowed through made her nipples tingle delightfully, but not enough to distract her from driving the sleigh. After all, she often drove ninety minutes to her job wearing a vibrating insert in her panties, so she knew for a fact she could orgasm and still control a vehicle. A wheeled one, at least. She wasn't so sure about a sleigh doing Mach Three at twenty thousand feet. "You mean a weapon?" Santa asked. "In the bag full of toys for kids?" "You gave me a nerf gun out of that bag and it turned out to be some sort of doomsday device, didn't it?" she pointed out. "Scary lightning bolts everywhere. I refuse to believe you don't have some other goodies in there." Santa shrugged and squatted down to look inside the bag, getting narrowly missed by another rocket that shot over his head. The pilot cursed and came around again, aiming directly at the chassis of the sleigh from the side. Ginny's eyes widened in fright as she saw him approach. She jerked the reins to one side and the sleigh tilted ninety degrees, presenting its wide, flat red underside. The rocket slammed into it and exploded. Whatever it was made of or whatever shielding was in place, Ginny only heard the detonation and felt a rumble, but there was no damage aside from that. "Ha!" Santa said, standing tall and holding an electric guitar in the air, its black body gleamed in the moonlight. He put the strap around his neck and took several seconds to tune it, ignoring the aerial mayhem that swirled around him. "The hell are you going to do with that?" Ginny asked, scowling as she looked behind to see what he was up to. "You said to find something, I found something," he said simply as he checked the pickups. "Now let's see what we can do here;" He took the pick in hand and strummed it across the strings, a screeching pulse of sound blared out from the instrument, heading in all directions. It struck several rockets nearby, which exploded brightly. Other were knocked off course, spiraling around crazily as they fought for control. Santa laughed loudly, apparently enjoying himself. "Quit laughing and kill, red man!" Ginny yelled, nonplussed by his amusement. "I want to survive the night and I've had several close calls with death already!" "I'm working on it, Virginia, patience." Santa chided, adjusting the tuners momentarily. "Near-death experiences make you cranky." "No shit, Sherlock," she grumbled as he blasted out another screeching wave of sound. "Do you plan to play anything or just keep shrieking out that one sound?" "As you wish," he said cheerfully, pleased to be doing as she asked. Making her happy was all he cared about. He began playing a heavy metal version of Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkyries', the pulsing walls of sound thundering out and striking every foe within hundreds of

Dorene Discovers Kringle Making (12/4/25) by 96.5 WKLH

The Dorene Kringle? (11/18/25) by 96.5 WKLH

We've all worked places where the culture sucked. Aaron Beay decided to build the one he always wanted and five years later, no one's left.We brought Aaron on because of the culture he's created one that actually retains young talent, and not by accident. After 18 years in the field, burnout pushed him to try teaching. That part-time gig turned into a full-blown strategy for recruiting and training a team that's never left his side in five years. Yeah, you read that right 100% retention.Aaron doesn't preach theory. He leads with simple stuff that's hard to pull off: prioritizing people over profit, setting aside time for personal development, and showing appreciation in real, human ways. Whether it's Kringle and a chapter of How to Win Friends on Fridays, or giving anniversary gift cards to keep his guys' marriages strong, this guy lives what most only talk about.We dug into how he “cherry-picks” talent right from his own classroom and why character always beats out grades. He even shared one of his go-to interview scenarios to test moral judgment perfect if you're hiring and sick of getting burned.We also got into the generational weeds what makes Gen Z tick, why Gen Alpha might surprise us, and how video chats and constant presence are reshaping communication before these kids even hit high school.Highlights:How teaching became Aaron's recruitment pipeline.The “people first” principle that actually works.Friday book club, and HVAC yes, it works.Hiring for character, not GPA.The three-way moral dilemma that reveals true colors.Do you know someone building a blue collar team who needs to hear this? Send it their way. And if you've got your own culture hacks, send us a message on LinkedIn we're always learning.Get in touch with Aaron:WebsiteFacebookInstagramGet in touch with us:Check out the Blue Collar BS website.Steve Doyle:WebsiteLinkedInEmailBrad Herda:WebsiteLinkedInEmailThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrpOP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

John MacArthur, longtime pastor of Grace Community Church in California, passed away on July 14, 2025. MacArthur preached in the same pulpit for 56 years. His recorded sermons and syndicated radio and television programs brought the gospel to people all over the world, and his writings impacted many more. On this episode, we discuss MacArthur's legacy, the impact of his ministry, where we disagree with him, and the gaps his death leaves behind.Chapters:(0:00) Introductions: Patrick and Renee Got Us a Kringle!(2:25) John MacArthur's Obituary(8:34) John's Life and Ministry(19:27) Where We Disagree with MacArthur (and Commend Him)(25:38) Who Are the Next Generation of Stalwart Preachers? Resources & Articles:https://firstthings.com/a-straight-line-to-the-pulpit-the-legacy-of-john-macarthur/https://www.nytimes.com/2025/07/15/us/john-macarthur-dead.html

Send us a textRich explores politically charged family gatherings, unlikely golf friendships, and our increasingly offended society while delving into the mental complexities of golf. His storytelling weaves together insights about human cooperation, the absurdity of political arguments, and our tendency to talk to ourselves on the golf course.• Questioning media coaching for family holiday gatherings amid political tensions• Reflecting on Yuval Noah Harari's theory that storytelling helped humans evolve through cooperation• Fighting with people we know on behalf of politicians who don't know we exist• The tale of Wi-Fi and Kris Kringle: polar opposites united by golf and a football bet• How Wi-Fi's betting satchel became a travel companion and possibly cursed Kringle's golf game• Examining the rise of "shaming" culture and America's increasing sensitivity• Statistics about America's obesity epidemic and questioning if fat shaming is insensitive or truth-telling• Golf's mental game requires pre-shot routines and managing the dual entities in a golfer's mind• Age affects memory recall but not the tendency to talk to ourselves during poor shots• Finding your method to hit consistent shots without alienating friends when things don't go your waySupport the showSpotify Apple podcastsAmazon Music all other streaming services

Show Notes: Rebecca Hollander-Blumoff shares her journey from college to law school. After deferring her law school for a year, she spent a year in Spain to gain language and cultural experience. She then went to law school in Cambridge and clerked for a federal judge in New York before going into practice. Rebecca was initially interested in becoming a federal prosecutor but realized she first had to go into practice.  She worked for a small boutique litigation firm that did about 60% white collar criminal defense and about 40% civil litigation. While she loved being a counselor to her clients, and a person who a client could call, day in, day out, she found the law firm's hierarchy unappealing. The Psychology of Negotiation, a PhD., and Teaching Rebecca decided to pursue a PhD in Social Psychology to study the psychology of negotiation. She talks about negotiation in law, and she began taking classes in NYU's master's program and eventually obtained a PhD in Social Psychology with a dissertation on procedural justice in negotiation. She taught in the lawyering program at NYU and was an adjunct at Seton Hall in New Jersey teaching negotiation. After obtaining her PhD, she went on the job market for academia; she got a position at Washington University in Saint Louis. Rebecca has been teaching at Washington University in Saint Louis since 2006. She teaches various core classes, including civil procedure, federal courts, law and psychology, negotiation, negotiation for executive education, and has also developed a course in women's leadership and negotiation. She has worked for groups like the Brookings Institution and the Rodel Institute. Women's Negotiation and Navigating Stereotypes Rebecca's approach to teaching women's negotiation is not about focusing on gender differences but rather on understanding the research that informs her approach. She believes that women need to be armed with knowledge about the effects of gender, culture, and race on negotiation. This knowledge can help them navigate through stereotypes and roadblocks that may arise in negotiations. In her classes, she also discusses the research that is relevant to everyone, not just women, and mentions the issue of different perceptions of men and women in and on negotiations, and how behavior of men and women is perceived differently. The discussion also touches on the misconception that some people are born good negotiators and others are bad at it. This is a misconception that can hinder effective negotiation. The best way to think about negotiation is as an experience that can be prepared for and analyzed from both structural and interpersonal perspectives. This involves considering possibilities, actions to take if negotiations don't work out, and the interpersonal elements present. Negotiation and Problem-solving Rebecca mentions that negotiation is often seen as adversarial, but it is actually more about strategically problem-solving to increase the size of the pie and generate low-cost but high-value outcomes for both parties. Examples of negotiations that are not adversarial include family law, business contracts, and reputational effects. Negotiations can have broader implications, as people may still be in each other's lives after the negotiation. The key piece that students often overlook is the relational aspect of negotiations. In negotiations, parties are not in front of a judge, and the outcome must be decent for both parties. For example, in a negotiation for a new salary or project, one person has all the power, but the decision by fiat can lead to less positive results over time, less employee retention, and less positive feelings about the project. In real-world situations, negotiations can have other elements and dimensions available. Lawyers should question their assumptions and think about the best end goal for their clients. They should also consider the potential negative consequences of their actions and the impact on their reputation and business relationships. Negotiations in Practice The conversation turns to the dynamic between attorneys and clients in family law negotiations. Research has shown that when lawyers experience fairness in negotiation, they are more likely to recommend the agreed-upon outcome to their clients, believing it forms the basis for a better long-term agreement. However, the client is not in the room, and the lawyer may manipulate the client's desire for fair process and present things differently to the client based on what they think might happen. This can lead to a gap between what the lawyer is experiencing and what the client is experiencing. Research by a professor at UC Davis has found that one of the most desirable forms of dispute resolution for regular people is negotiation by their lawyer while the client is present in the room. This could reduce the dissonance between the lawyer and the client, potentially leading to better negotiation outcomes. A Year in Madrid Rebecca recounts her experience in Madrid after college, where she lived with a family for most of the year, a difficult but interesting experience. She studied at the Complutense University, where she participated in a Hispanic studies program, which taught history, language, grammar, and art in Spanish. The program was an international one, and the students from around the world were taught in Spanish. Despite the initial loneliness and lack of familiarity, Rebecca found it fascinating and eventually moved into an apartment with friends. She found that Madrid was a large city, but not warm and fuzzy, and it was a great place to live. A Passionate and Adventurous Baker Rebecca is a passionate baker She enjoys sharing her creative side with her students, who are always happy when she bakes for them. In her home life, she has three boys and two nephews who live nearby, making the house full of baked good eaters. Baking provides a time to disconnect from the stress of professional life and connect with the world through the act of baking. One of her favorite projects was when she baked 12 cakes of Christmas based on the 12 days of Christmas.  She also used cooking as a project to open her children's horizons to different cultures and ideas, especially when her kids were younger. They would research a country and make a whole meal of that country's cuisine, usually with a baked dessert. One of her favorite baked goods is a Kringle, made from an Estonian recipe. Her oldest child also fell in love with the Mongolian beef patty, a dish made from a dough of flour and water wrapped around ground beef. Influential Harvard Professors and Courses Rebecca took Justice as a freshman and ironically found it to be one of her least favorite classes. However, she enjoyed her classes in the history and literature concentration.  She also took a phenomenal French literature class and enjoyed a class on modern poetry, which she likens to the study of law, as every word and construction has a reason or purpose. Timestamps: 06:11: Transition to Academia and Negotiation Research  10:12: Teaching Women's Negotiation and Gender Dynamics  18:08: Negotiation Skills for Law Students  26:12: Relational Aspects of Negotiation  31:08: Consulting and Baking Passion  41:23: Personal Reflections and Cultural Experiences  44:22: Influence of Harvard Classes and Professors  Links: Author Page for Rebecca E. Hollander-Blumoff :: SSRN Instagram: @rebeccahollanderblumoff X: https://x.com/rhollblum Blue Sky: @rhollblum.bsky.social.  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebecca-hollander-blumoff-475636270/ Work: https://law.washu.edu/faculty-staff-directory/profile/rebecca-hollander-blumoff/ Book: https://www.amazon.ca/Research-Handbook-Psychology-Rebecca-Hollander-blumoff/dp/1800881916 Featured Non-profit: The featured non-profit of this episode of The 92 Report is recommended by Elaine Lum MacDonald who reports: “Hi, I'm Elaine Lum McDonald, class of 1992. The featured nonprofit of this episode of The 92 report is SV2. Silicon Valley Social Venture Fund. SV2  is a community committed to accelerating equity in the Bay Area through grant making to local nonprofits, impact investing in local and global entrepreneurs and immersive learning experiences. I am proud to have been a member of this organization since 2021 and I'm currently serving on the board. I love SV2 because it is truly innovative in two ways. First, it's equity based practices, including putting grantees and investees on the board and its trust based philanthropy practices. And secondly, because of its focus on creating impact across the capital spectrum, from donations to investments. You can learn more about their work at SV2.org and now here is Will Bachmann with this week's episode.” To learn more about their work, visit: SV2.org.  

In this episode, Hailey spills a sweet secret…If you have a sweet tooth, O&H Danish Bakery in Racine, Wisconsin, is a must-visit! Known for its iconic kringles—Wisconsin's official state pastry—this family-run bakery has been delighting customers with flaky layers and unique flavors since 1949. Listen on and dig into this tasty tale of tradition!Read the blog here: https://discoverwisconsin.com/wisconsins-kringle-tradition-oh-danish-bakery/Seasonal Kringle Flavors: https://www.ohdanishbakery.com/seasonal-kringle-flavors; Everyday Kringle Favorites: https://www.ohdanishbakery.com/everyday-kringle-favorites; All Flavors: https://www.ohdanishbakery.com/all-our-kringle-flavors; Locations: https://www.ohdanishbakery.com/locations; Racine's Legendary Kringle: O&H Danish Bakery; The Bobber: https://discoverwisconsin.com/the-bobber-blog/The Cabin Podcast: https://the-cabin.simplecast.com. Follow on social @thecabinpodShop Discover Wisconsin: shop.discoverwisconsin.com. Follow on social @shopdiscoverwisconsinDiscover Wisconsin: https://discoverwisconsin.com/. Follow on social @discoverwisconsinDiscover Mediaworks: https://discovermediaworks.com/. Follow on social @discovermediaworksO&H Danish Bakery: https://www.ohdanishbakery.com/. Follow on social @ohdanishbakery

Jill and Tom open the show discussing Tom's troubling Diet Pepsi habit, rolling into a discussion of EV startup companies that may or not be on the edge of collapse. Sadly, EV commercial-vehicle startup Canoo--which had been processing a large van order for Walmart--has slipped into receivership. Is Rivian next? Listen in. Next Tom gripes about his Bluetooth issues, which seem to border on the paranormal. Still in the first segment, Jill reviews the 2025 Kia K4, the brand's replacement for the popular Forte small sedan. In the second segment, Jill and Tom welcome Damon Bell of Cars.com. After singing the praises of kringle--a Midwest Danish-like pastry--Damon shared the details of Car's 2024 Full-Size Pickup Challenge, which included three luxury-trimmed pickups. Listen in for details--and a winner. In the last segment, Jill is subjected to Tom's "EV Lies!" quiz, after which the duo remembered pioneering auto writer Denise McCluggage. 

Off to the North Pole

#scarystories #halloweenstories #halloweenkids #storiesforkids #kidsstories #scarystoriesforkids #microterrorsVisit our website: https://MicroTerrors.comFacebook page: https://www.facebook.com/microterrorsOther stories, novels, and more from author Scott Donnelly: https://amzn.to/3LymHaUOther narrations, podcasts, and audiobooks from voice artist Darren Marlar: https://WeirdDarkness.com= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =Weird Darkness®, 2023. Weird Darkness©, 2023“Micro Terrors: Scary Stories for Kids”™ 2023

The conclusion of the Yulemastown Bazaar is here. Tanika, Bentley, Nautilus, and Kitty have arrived at the Bazaar and are ready to find little Billy and save Kringle from whomever kidnapped him. Cast: Kris Barsanti - Dungeon Master Jonathan Washington - Tanika PeKeller Tisha Zang - Bentley Chase Banks  Katie Dern - Nautilus Bean Brandle Conley - Kitty Skitty-Cock Mark Barsanti - Hogom/Kringle Music by Joe Barsanti Art by Lindsay Brown High Council Amanda Rodda Justin Randall Support Us Support Us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rollgayroleplay Visit Our Website: https://www.rollgayroleplay.com  Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rollgayroleplay/ Watch our gaming videos: https://www.rollgayroleplay.com/videos/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

#scarystories #halloweenstories #halloweenkids #storiesforkids #kidsstories #scarystoriesforkids #microterrorsVisit our website: https://MicroTerrors.comFacebook page: https://www.facebook.com/microterrorsOther stories, novels, and more from author Scott Donnelly: https://amzn.to/3LymHaUOther narrations, podcasts, and audiobooks from voice artist Darren Marlar: https://WeirdDarkness.com= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =Weird Darkness®, 2023. Weird Darkness©, 2023“Micro Terrors: Scary Stories for Kids”™ 2023

The dudes are summoned to save Krampus....again! Join them in an epic journey of candy canes, gingerbread men, and a final battle with Santa. This week's brews are 3 Sheeps Nice List, Stubborn Brothers Jolly Beer, and North Park Beer Co's Danking Holiday. 

Rudolph's nose isn't the only thing getting splashed with red this year! This top 10 christmas horror movies list includes everything from the classics you love all the way to new releases, ranked by yours truly Ripper,Lanna, and Todd. Go ahead and make your list, check it twice, but chances are you're not surviving this holiday night!

This week, Selena chats with Melanie who is known as MrKongsMom on YouTube, where she talks about beauty products and candles to over 53K subscribers!  Melanie is a sweetheart who KNOWS HER STUFF in the world of candles. Selena learns about candle crocks and warmers, Melanie gets specific with her favorite scents by season, and they discuss her collab with Kringle. An iconic episode! Please subscribe, rate, review, candleheads! (music: bensound) 

#happyholidays #chatters! #crimechatwithnatandkat bring you this week's Episode 115: The Killer Kringle! Kat dishes out her best singing voice to dive into the 12 Days of Christmas and parodies. Then, Nat peels back the dark layers of two best friends who go missing within months of each other, and wind up falling victim to the same murderer. Find out more on this story Saturday, December 21, 2025, anywhere you get your favorite #truecrimepodcasts #GooglePodcasts #AmazonPodcasts #ApplePodcasts #YouTubePodcasts #SpotifyPodcasts #Patreon #rss

happyholidays #chatters! #crimechatwithnatandkat bring you this week's Episode 115: The Killer Kringle! Kat dishes out her best singing voice to dive into the 12 Days of Christmas and parodies. Then, Nat peels back the dark layers of two best friends who go missing within months of each other, and wind up falling victim to the same murderer. Find out more on this story Saturday, December 21, 2025, anywhere you get your favorite #truecrimepodcasts #GooglePodcasts #AmazonPodcasts #ApplePodcasts #YouTubePodcasts #SpotifyPodcasts #Patreon #rss

Once upon a time.... The Morning News with Dave Lee along with special guest Doc Severinsen, introduced 'CCO Land to a man named "Klem Kringle", Kris' cranky brother. Have some laughs with this bit from our past! And Merry Christmas!

Virginia finally completes her mission.By cb summers. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. I pulled the blanket off his lap. His cock was poking out of the hole in his pants. I was on my knees on the bench next to him, so I scrunched down to take a nice good look at it in the moonlight. I pushed his semi-tented pants down, to expose all fifteen inches of him.“You have a beautiful penis, Kris.” I traced my fingers over the veins and other details that I'd studied on ‘Santa's Little Helper' all year. It grew slightly, stiffening at my touch. “Your cock saw me through several near-relapses on my road to recovery. Whenever I felt the need to go Santa hunting, I'd put you inside me and make it through another day.”And now I was touching the real thing. Unlike the dildo, which was enchanted with elf magic to make it smaller, I sadly knew that Kris' cock would never fit inside any of my holes. I'd fucked enough men to know that for sure. But I wrapped my hands around it and began to stroke it up and down, gently, lovingly, making Kris moan. I kissed his cock lovingly all over, and licked it to provide some lubrication for my hands. Kris moaned, leaned back, and put his arms out so they were resting on the back of the bench. He trusted me. I unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his broken fly, and opened it up so I could fondle his hot chestnuts. They were huge… bigger than a pair of baseballs, but very soft and covered with downy pubic hair. They moved in my hand, vibrating, rolling… throbbing with ancient power. He groaned and leaned back even further. I got off the bench and stood in front of him and began stroking the incredible length of his cock, as I kissed and sucked and tongued the sensitive underside of its massive head, drooling all over to keep him well lubricated. It was amazing! I felt a ring ting tingling in my panties that got hotter and hotter. Soon I was whimpering and moaning, and cumming from the sheer excitement of holding Kris Kringle's supernaturally beautiful cock in my hands.“Oh… Virginia. You better watch out… I'm cumming.”“Cum for me Kris,” I moaned, stroking him harder, and I felt a surge of cum streaking up the shaft. I put my lips over the tip as wide as I could and felt his hot, creamy cum splash into the back of my throat. Yes. Snowbell was right. Santa's cum tasted just like eggnog. I swallowed, two, three, four big mouthfuls. A lot of it leaked out the side, but I got on my knees and licked every drop off, starting with his balls and going upward until he was clean again. It was absolutely delicious! I'd swallowed a truckload of cum in my time, but nothing that tasted as wonderful as this. When I finished, I looked up at him and played with the hole on top with my tongue. His azure eyes were fixed on my tongue. More cum oozed out the tip and I sucked it up with my kisses. During this whole cock cleaning process, his cock didn't soften at all. He was still hard as a tree trunk.But then I saw him look forward, and his face tensed up. I turned to see the bright lights of Santa's factory in the distance ahead. It was the most amazing non-cock related sight I'd ever seen. I saw a sprawling, snowy village of miniature houses. Off in the distance there was a huge factory with large stained glass windows. Everything was strung with multicolored lights and decorated with oversized ornaments… all was merry and bright! Kris draped the blanket over his erection again. His face was nervous. The time must have been around 7 P.M. by this time. And time was running out.I patted his hand and said, “We'll figure it out. But before we get there. Tell me what's happened since last Christmas.”“Well, after mailing off the all the missed deliveries, Mary went on a vacation. Usually we do that together, but this year I could tell she didn't want me with her. She took her thirty elves, including Snowbell and left me alone in the biggest sex club on earth. There were no toys to make, no letters to read, no lists to compile. It was the most wonderful time of the year… a fucking free for all. I just fucked and fucked and fucked, indulging my desires. I had favorites: Blizzard and Cookiedough and Icicle, the kitchen elf. Oh, boy… Icicle loved to hit my cock with a rolling pin until I came on her. That was pretty weird. But mostly I just had straight sex with any and every female I wanted to. They wanted me to anoint them, and I anointed the hell out of them. I made friends with a few of the male elves who were, shall we say, not as bisexual as most of them. That way I could have orgies without having to worry about some overexcited male elf shooting his jizz in my face. Having some buddies was actually kind of fun.”“The party went on until Mary returned in April. She walked right in on us, having a full-bore, all hands orgy in the main factory floor, me and all ten thousand elves. I'd love to describe that party for you, but I was blotto on elf milk the whole time. It's a blur. Anyway, Mary saw me for the first time, actually fucking the elves, and knowing a thing and seeing a thing are not the same thing. I'm pretty sure that was the straw that broke the reindeer's back. She packed her bags and left.”“Where did she go?”“I didn't know for a few months. But after a while she sent me a letter from the South Pole. She'd built a factory there and wanted me to send her the list of adult believers so she could keep up the sex toy thing. She was planning to deliver the sex toys herself, mailing them if she had to. Mary may be immortal now, but she doesn't have the Christmas Spirit required to deliver millions of toys in a few hours' time… actually, neither do I anymore… Anyway I gave her the list and wished her good luck.”“Are you getting a divorce?”“I don't think we can get divorced. Sure, we were married in a church, but that was just a formality. We were married, as far as the universe is concerned, when she said 'yes'. I think she'll still be immortal, but I don't really know how it's supposed to work. But for now, she's living the life she's chosen with her elves. It's like she's a polygamist with thirty wives. But I'm no one to judge. I have ten thousand eager sex partners myself. I guess we both fucked up big time crossing that boundary.”I didn't want to say it, but it sounded to me like Mary had her elf obsession under control. She was going on trips, building a factory, making plans for the future. Her relationship with those elves, strange though it may be, was clearly optimistic and structured. Kris on the other hand…“Anyway, I wouldn't have been able to get through the year without Blizzard. She made sure all the letters were read, because I wasn't up to it, and made sure all the toys were completed. She even had to check the naughty or nice list for me, because I could only manage to check it once. I've been a mess I can't concentrate for more than a few hours before I want to go find a pretty little elf to fuck. It feels so right when I'm doing it, but a few minutes later I'm trolling again. But I don't think Blizzard, or any of the others have a clue that I've lost the Christmas Spirit. They still think everything is hunky dory… look at them down there.”We were headed toward a brightly illuminated landing strip. A long line of elves were bringing toys out of the factory, and placing them carefully in a black sack. Clearly there were too many presents to fit in that one sack, but they kept putting them in, and it showed no signs of getting any fuller. It was Santa's magic sack! It looked pretty threadbare, but it certainly seemed to work!Kris circled the landing area, and the elves, hearing the sound of the reindeer's jingling bells, waved up at us. I couldn't help myself. I had to wave back. Kris was right! They were beautiful! More beautiful than his description had prepared me for! I knew that if we landed, he'd go right out and grab one, and start fucking her. I could see it in his eyes.“Kris, I think I know what to do.”“What?”“I think you need to fuck me.”His eyes opened wide. A leer spread on his face.“Don't look at me like that, Kris.”He shook the look off his face, “Sorry, Virginia. Habit. You were saying?”“I don't know why… but I think that my problem and your problem are linked somehow. Linked cosmically in ways that neither of us could possibly understand. All I know is that I feel the pathological need to fuck Santa. There's got to be some sort of reason for that. I mean, it led me to you. It took longer than I thought, but in the end, I found you.”He had a serious expression on his face. “What do you think that will accomplish?”“I don't know. I don't even think you'll fit inside me… in fact, I'm certain you won't. But we have to try. There's nothing else we can do.”“Where?” he asked, taking the blanket off, freeing his cock, a desperate expression on his face, “Here?”“No,” I said, pointing off in the distance. “There.”He saw where I was pointing and he turned the reindeer in that direction. We soared over the hills of snow.We landed by the North Pole. It was located about half a mile from the factory. The factory had originally been located at the North Pole, but the ice had drifted over the centuries. But Kris had dutifully moved the twenty-foot, candy-striped pole every year to the correct geographic location. The area around the pole was dark, but there was a candle lantern on top, which bathed the immediate area in a dim, warm glow.We stepped out onto the ice. I put my hand on the ice-covered pole. I could feel the cold, but it felt pleasant. “I can't get over how weird it is not to be bothered by the cold.”“Yeah,” he said, “It took me a while to get used to it too. You can feel it, but instead of freezing your outsides, it just makes you feel warmer inside. The opposite happens too, you know. I deliver toys to the tropics without breaking a sweat.”“Okay,” I said, suddenly horny as hell, “enough chit chat. Let's do this thing.”I started taking off my clothes. But Kris put his arms on my shoulders, calming me. “Virginia.” He said nothing else. Just hearing him say my name calmed me. He picked me up and cradled me in his arms. He lifted my short, black bangs, and kissed the scar on my forehead. Then he kissed my nose, and my cheeks, and finally, my mouth. Then he laid me down in the large snowdrift at the base of the Pole, and I looked up at him as he took off his gloves and coat. He was dimly lit by the lantern, but the Northern Lights were dancing in the sky behind him. It was the most romantic sight of my life. His eyes were swimming with love.“I've been meaning to tell you, Virginia, what a beautiful woman you are.”I blushed. I'd been told that before, but never by Santa Claus… not the real one anyway.“I can really see the elf in you.”“Elf?” I replied.“Oh yes, didn't you know? Your ancestors are from Iceland. Everyone in Iceland has a bit of elf blood in them. Some, like you, have quite a lot. I can see it in your eyes.”I think that was the most wonderful thing I've ever heard in my life.“In fact… I should have said before now… The night I met you at the Sex Addicts meeting… when you introduced yourself to me… well… I knew you of course. I've always known you, but I'd never seen you before. I had no idea what you looked like. I was taken aback.”“Because I look like an elf?”“Yes, in part. But I felt the sudden, powerful need to make love to you.”“Well, of course. You're a sex addict.”“No… I didn't want to fuck you… well, I wanted to do that too, but more importantly, I wanted to make love to you. My feelings were so deep, so fast, I didn't know what to do with them. So I stopped coming to the meetings… I was afraid…”“Kris, are you afraid to love?”“No. I was afraid my feelings weren't real… because you reminded me so much of her.”We were silent for a moment. Then I knew. “Snowbell.”He smiled, tears welling up in his eyes. “You look just like her. You must be related to her somehow. You have her eyes, her chin, her figure, her voice… her laugh even. I thought I only loved you because you reminded me of her.”“Don't be silly, Kris,” I said with a giggle. “You only loved her because she reminded you of me. Only, you didn't know it yet.”He smiled. He knew it was true. As impossible as it was, the universe had meant for us to be together, and he'd projected his feelings for me on that pretty little elf. “Snowbell is an elf, Kris. She can't love you, not really, not the way humans love. But I can. I do.”Kris, looked down at me and removed his shirt. He had an amazing body. He was fat but not flabby. He'd been fucking like a rabbit for a solid year… that can tone a guy up. I could see the muscles rippling in his arms, just under the layer of fat. He had curly white hair on his chest, and beautiful, well defined pecs. He threw the blanket to the ground, and grabbed the waistband of his ripped pants. He pulled outward, in one powerful move, shredding the pants right off his body.“Those pants were too small for me anyway,” he said. I didn't laugh. I was transfixed. Saint Nick stood over me, silhouetted by the aurora borealis, naked to my eyes. His beard had never looked so white and majestic as it did right now.He got down on one knee and said, “Marry me.”I said, “Yes.”He smiled and said, “I now pronounce us husband and wife.”My eyes filled with tears. They froze solid as soon as they dripped off my face. “Can you do that?” I asked,“I can do anything. I'm Santa Claus.”He bent over, kissing me on the lips for a long time. Then he began to undress me. He unbuttoned my shirt took it off. He kissed my shoulders as he unhooked my bra. When he removed that, he said, “You even have her breasts. Only your nipples aren't blue.” I laughed and he bent over to suckle my perfectly pink nipples, sending a shock of pleasure through my body. I ran my hands through his snowy locks, feeling his beard tickling my belly. I unbuttoned my pants and kicked of my shoes. I was breathless in growing anticipation and need.He helped me pull off my pants and panties, and he paused for a moment, just looked with love at my naked body lying in the warm snow bank.“Virginia, you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Elf or human.” Then he took one of my legs in his hands and kissed the long scar, his azure eyes full of lust and love. My eager hand found his cock, and I stroked him with a burning hunger… a need that I hadn't indulged in a year and had never successfully quenched.I looked at him and noticed a strange light shimmering on his face. Then he noticed it on my face too. We both looked up and saw a ten-foot circle of elves surrounding us. The elves were naked, and their bodies were glowing. The fine glitter in their skin was vibrating and sparkling in the dim light. Swirls of colors went around and around seeming to pass from elf to elf. The colors were the same as the colors in the Northern Lights above us, pale greens and pinks, blues and purples… The elves were linked somehow to the aurora borealis. The colors grew brighter and brighter, as Kris and I watched, transfixed.Then the elves started singing. The song was an ancient yuletide carol. I didn't recognize it, but I found it beautiful and brimming with primal power. The elves were smiling with happiness as they sang. I saw that they were holding hands, row upon row. Farther back, the elves began to climb up on each other's shoulders, each row outward growing higher and higher, forming an elfin amphitheater with Kris and I, and the North Pole, in the center.We looked at each other, and our lust could wait no longer. He knelt between my knees and pulled my legs up, lifting my bottom out of the snow. His impossibly huge cock head pressed against my much too small pussy, and I despaired that he could ever possibly enter me.But then a miracle occurred.I began to glow. Tiny flecks of light appeared beneath my skin, glinting all the colors of the rainbow. My pale skin changed slightly in hue, to a pale aqua blue. I felt something… an ancient power flow through every pore of my body. I began to tingle. In a good way, like the way you feel when you hop into a warm bed on a cold winter night. Kris was looking at me, eyes widening in amazement. I felt the tingling sensation run through my limbs down to my pussy. The tuft of black pubic hair on top turned snowy white.“Fuck me, Kris!” I shouted, “Fuck me, Santa!”Kris pulled me onto his rock hard shaft. He felt huge inside me, but it didn't hurt at all. It felt like a warmth penetrating me. He went all the way in, just as 'Santa's Little Helper' had done, until his balls slapped against my ass. I could feel his cock deep inside me, pressing up into the bottom of my heart! Holy holly, it felt great!!! I could feel my vaginal muscles contracting over his cock as he pulled himself out. It seemed as if I could control them now. I'd never been very dutiful about doing Kegel exercises, but now I didn't need them. My vagina was enchanted by the elfin magik of old.Kris lifted me off the ground and fucked me standing up, slamming all fifteen inches of his Yule log in and out of me, slapping his big balls against my narrow ass. His arms were huge and as strong as oaken beams, and I was completely in his power. But then I realized I also had him in my power with the undulations I could perform with my brand new vaginal muscles. I felt an orgasm sweep through my entire body. I shrieked in joy. I was cumming now, cumming hard, and I felt my breasts grow hot. Squirts of liquid shot out of my nipples. It was an amazing feeling, like having the greatest piss you ever had after holding it in for eighteen hours, multiplied by twenty. That good! Kris held my breast in his hand and aimed my nectar stream at his mouth and tasted it. The other breast was shooting straight up, so I caught some of that I my mouth. Oh! Peppermint schnapps, just as he'd said! I felt the intoxication going straight to my head! I never was much of a drinker, so I drank no more of it.I came again and again, as he held me aloft, tirelessly fucking me while the elf choir sang all around us.Kris' face finally screwed up, and I clamped my pussy down on his cock to squeeze off his orgasm, as he'd described Blizzard doing once with her sphincter. I found it easy to do, so powerful were my muscles now. Once his need to cum passed, he put me on my hands and knees in the snow bank and fucked me from behind. I could see that my bangs had turned snowy white… then I saw my shadow on the snow. I reached up to be sure… yes, my ears had grown long tapering points. I hadn't shrunk in size, I was still the same size that I'd always been, and as far as I could tell, my tongue hadn't changed, thank god… but my insides… oh, I was so deep now! I felt the fat head of his enormous cock slamming against the underside of my heart, but it didn't hurt at all. Why would it? I was an elf!I heard Kris grunting again, but I didn't squeeze him off this time.“Cum in me Santa,” I moaned, as I had another powerful orgasm. My breasts squirted hot milk into the snow, which sent up billowing clouds of steam all around us! Kris' tempo got harder and faster and he shouted in a deep booming voice, “Santa Claus is cumming!!!”I felt his warm semen jetting into me more powerfully than I'd ever felt it before, and I'd had a lot of cum shot into me over the years. It was relentless! It felt like gallons of the stuff. It flooded out of my pussy around his thrusting cock, and I reached down and collected several handfuls, bringing them up to my mouth to slurp. I love eggnog straight out of the carton, but this way is even better. Straight out of Santa's cock!Kris came for five solid minutes, fucking me the whole time, but finally he bucked and slowed. I could feel his cock softening inside me as we collapsed in the snow. He reached around and fingered my clit, bringing me to another orgasm, which sent showers of peppermint schnapps all around us. He tried to catch some in his mouth.I said, “Don't drink too much, honey. You have presents to deliver.”I was just what Santa needed. Someone to love him and keep him in line.When my orgasm had passed, we just lay there for a while, listening to the rest of the elf song. When it was over, a hush fell over the North Pole. I could feel something, invisible, yet palpable… in the air there was a feeling of Christmas.A shapely, and beautifully naked female elf stepped out of the circle, and walked up to us. Kris sat up, cuddling me in his arms.“Blizzard. I'd like to introduce you to my new wife, Virginia.”Blizzard bowed to me, “Hello Mrs. Kringle.”Mrs. Kringle? It hit me then. I was Mrs. Kringle now. Virginia fuckin Kringle!“Hello, Blizzard. It's nice to meet you. Kris has told me all about you. You're a very special elf.”“All elves are special, Virginia. Even half-elves like you.” She smiled. “Now, Mr. Kringle, time is running short. There are toys to deliver, children to make happy. Are you feeling the Christmas Spirit?” She held out her hand to him.Kris smiled. We looked at each other. We both felt it. We'd saved Christmas. We both knew that from now on our troubles would be out of sight. I'd been right all along. All Santa Claus ever needed, really, was to fuck me.By cb summers for Literotica

Christmas Drama on a SundayFirst a look at this day in History.Then Yours Truly Johnny Dollar starring Bob Bailey, originally broadcast December 22, 1957, 67 years ago, The Carmen Kringle Matter.  An old prospector is dying in the desert, and his faithful mule "Carmen" is set to inherit his insurance. Followed by the news from 67 years ago, followed by Suspense, originally broadcast December 22, 1957, 67 years ago, Dog Star starring Evelyn Rudie.  All that a little girl wants for Christmas is a little puppy. She finally gets one...from outer space! Little Chipka falls to Earth from a Russian satellite. Then Lights Out, originally broadcast December 22, 1937, 87 years ago, Christmas Story. A Christmas story, set during the war in 1918. A French soldier, an Australian and an American Negro soldier find themselves aboard a railroad train. Have they met before? Next, This Is Your FBI, originally broadcast December 22, 1950, 74 years ago, The Return of St. Nick. Santa Claus has disappeared from a big city settlement house. The FBI takes the case and reunites an elderly brother and sister as well.Followed by Jonathan Thomas and His Christmas On The Moon, originally broadcast December 22, 1938, 86 years ago, A Reward For The Capture Of Jonathan. Eluding the dragon, Rumplestich (the witch) alerts King Squeebeeble of Jonathan's arrival. The king posts a reward for Jonathan's capture...dead or alive!Finally Superman, originally broadcast December 22, 1941, 83 years ago, The Mechanical Man.  The Yellow Mask turns off the electricity in the Daily Planet building. Along with a Nazi friend, The Mask plans to take over a robot and use it to create havoc!Thanks to Sean for supporting our podcast by using the Buy Me a Coffee function at http://classicradio.streamFind the Family Fallout Shelter Booklet Here: https://www.survivorlibrary.com/library/the_family_fallout_shelter_1959.pdfhttps://wardomatic.blogspot.com/2006/11/fallout-shelter-handbook-1962.htmlAnd more about the Survive-all Fallout Sheltershttps://conelrad.blogspot.com/2010/09/mad-men-meet-mad-survive-all-shelter.html

Kris commissions his signature ‘Santa's Dildo'.By cb summers. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. When I woke up, I had a splitting headache. Blizzard was standing on a stool in front of my chair, licking the last of Sugar Plum's cum out of my beard with her long, sensitive tongue. She was wearing a white robe, one of Mary's new uniforms. I waited until she was done.“What time is it?” I mumbled.“Three hours after closing time,” she answered. “I'm glad the quitting bell didn't awaken you. It arose such a clatter.”I felt like throwing up. Blizzard grabbed a trashcan without me even needing to ask. She always knew what I wanted before I did. She was such a good elf. She held the can under my mouth.“I don't feel so good.”“You drank too much elf milk. So did Indigo. I had to send her home early. Everyone else stayed late to get their work done, just in case you're wondering. And be of good cheer, your headache will pass.”I saw the ripped up shreds of the secretary costume in the trashcan.“How did you know?”“I saw how you looked at Holly. I knew what you were thinking. You wanted to anoint her, but you didn't because you loved Mrs. Kringle. But you don't love her any more, do you?”“No.”“I thought not. I am very perceptive. And I don't think you're going to vomit after all.” She was right. I was feeling better.She put the trashcan on the floor. “I suppose I should tell you that I encouraged Holly to present herself as a gift to you. I felt you needed it. It cannot be good to go so many years without anointing anyone. I even made the pretty underwear for her. I wore the same pair last night, though I had to take them in a bit.”“Really? Those were the same panties?”“Yes. Imagine my surprise when you passed on the opportunity. Humans. Very difficult to understand.”“It's a good thing I turned her down. I might have injured her.”“Yes, but I didn't know how large you were at the time. Your elf servants have seen you naked of course, but apparently you triple in size when you harden. I am perceptive, but I didn't think about that. Silly me. So, it's definitely a good thing you didn't attempt to mount Holly. She had a very small pussy.”“How do you know?”“Oh, I made love to her the morning after you turned her down… well, she looked so sad and so horny. She didn't like my tongue at first… it really is quite long, even for an Elf, but she quickly learned to enjoy it. And I learned to enjoy the flavor of human pussy. It's really quite nice.”Even all these years later, the thought of Blizzard going down on Holly was enough to give me a hard-on. “You… had sex with Holly?”“She'd done such a good job as my assistant, I thought it was the least I could do. I anointed her with my milk. She was very happy when she left.” Then Blizzard kissed me on the lips and said, “Thank you, Mr. Kringle, for the secretary's day gift.”I smiled. I felt warm and alive. “Thank you, Blizzard, for the fantasy come true.”She laughed a high, musical laugh. “My pleasure. But it was only fantasy for the first few minutes.” She squeezed my growing erection, “I've got to go home, Mr. Kringle. Maybe tomorrow.”She hopped off my lap and started walking toward the door. I looked around and noticed that the cum had all been cleaned up. I'd have never known an orgy had happened here, other than the stains on my own clothes.“Is that sort of thing normal for elves?”“Not really, Santa. We never have love-share during working hours.” She said as she was walking out the door.“Then why did you do it today?”“You wanted us to, of course,” With a wink of her eye, she closed the door. Blizzard was a perceptive elf, but not a wise one. She knew what I wanted without needing to ask, but she didn't seem to know that sometimes what we want isn't necessarily what's good for us.SCENE 5:SAVING CHRISTMASAs Kris told his story, he rarely looked at me but up at the ceiling instead, perhaps afraid I might be judging him. He needn't have worried. I was sitting cross-legged on the other bed, listening with rapt attention, totally turned on. During his story he'd grown hard every time he got to one of the ‘good parts'. But each time he'd brought his knees up to hide what was happening. But I could see the outlines of his massive shaft inside the loose fitting trousers. I found myself salivating, itching to slip onto his bed and unleash his manhood. But I had a modicum of willpower now, so I forced myself to sit still and listen.When he started describing the crazy elf orgy in his office his eyes glazed over, lost in his memories, unaware that he was getting hard. Much to my surprise and delight, Kris' cock grew larger and larger until his pants were tenting straight up a good ten inches. Then, when he got to the part of his story where he sodomized Blizzard, his cock grew even longer and slowly ripped through the fabric of his loose (but not loose enough) pants. My god! He wasn't lying, it could actually do that! I watched in amazement as the head of his massive pole emerged through the splitting seam, encased at first in his silky red boxers, which were decorated with Christmas trees. But soon the insistent bulge ripped through the silk too, and what to my wondering eyes should appear? Santa's fifteen inch cock! It was darker than the rest of his skin, ruddy and throbbing with his hot blood. The boxers and pants settled, revealing every inch of his throbbing Santahood. I thought he'd been bragging when he how big it was. But I shouldn't have doubted him. Kris Kringle never lies!I'd seen hundreds of cocks on my cross-country quest, from the tiniest little tadgers to the world's biggest pricks. I thought I'd seen them all, but I was wrong. This was definitely the biggest one of them all, by far! I don't particularly care how big a man's penis is when he's fucking me. It always feels great. In fact, anything over two inches thick is downright uncomfortable. But I've always loved to see and hold huge shlongs in my hands, ever since I'd given a bath to fake homeless Santa. Whenever I came across a hung Santa, I'd usually give him a hand job while he fingered me. Sometimes I didn't even need that much to have an orgasm, it was so exciting for me. So looking at Kris' abominable snowman made me instantly wet. I could barely concentrate on his fascinating story.When he finished talking about the orgy, his cock started getting softer, and he only noticed it when it flopped heavily over onto his thigh.“Damn it!” shouted Kris. He sat up in bed to cover himself. His cheeks turned beet red, “I'm so sorry. I hate when it does that!”“It's okay, Kris. Believe me, I've seen it all.” He smiled at me and fumbled his cock back into the ripped hole. I even enjoyed watching that. “I hope that's never happened when kids are around.”“No. I only see kids when I'm delivering toys, and to do that I need all my concentration on the task. I need to be filled, suffused with love and the spirit of Christmas. If I'm thinking about anything else… like naked elves for instance, I just can't do it. I mean, I have to fly my sleigh around to millions of houses in a few hours' time.”“Yes, how do you do that? I've always wanted to know!”“I don't know… I just do. I go into some sort of time warp, I guess. I don't know how it works. It just does. If I'm in the 'Christmas Spirit', that is.” The expression on his face suddenly became desperate and tears filled his eyes.Now I understood. I moved closer, sitting on the edge of my bed. “You're afraid you won't be able to get into the Christmas Spirit this year, don't you?”He burst into tears, holding his hands over his face, his secret fear spoken aloud at last. I moved to his bed and put my hand on his chest. “But what about last Christmas? You delivered the toys then didn't you?”“Yes, but with the added burden of the sex toy deliveries I missed almost twelve thousand homes! I had so send those presents in the… mail.” He said the last word as if it was the most shameful word in the English language. “This year, I don't think I'll be able to deliver any toys at all.” He began weeping again.Santa was a basket case.“Don't cry Kris. I'll help you figure it out.” But of course, I had no idea how. It had taken months for me to stop chasing Santas, even after I realized it was a self-destructive habit that was ruining my life. Christmas Eve was tomorrow! There was precious little time to quiet Kris' troubled mind.I lay down in bed next to Kris, and cuddled him, my hand on his belly, and my head on his shoulder. His strong arm hugged me lightly, but he didn't try to reach farther and feel me up. If he had, I don't know what I would have done.A dim light was coming through the window. Shit! I'd been listening to his story for so many hours, I hadn't noticed the time! It had to be after noon, because the sun was only up between noon and 2 in Alaska that time of year. But Kris felt so warm in my arms. I decided to give him a few minutes to cry softly, while I cuddled him and patted his belly. I closed my eyes… for just a second.When I woke up, Kris' cock had emerged from the hole in his pants again. It seemed to be towering above me. Then I noticed that my bare hand was wrapped around the base of it. Blitzen, it was warm! I could hear from his light snoring that he was asleep. I didn't move a muscle. I just looked at his cock, feeling his flesh in my hand. How long had I been holding it? There was something familiar about his cock… almost like I'd seen it before. Déjà vu… I watched as a tiny bit of pre-cum seeped out of the tip and dripped down the shaft. I stared in fascination as it made its long trip downward, until it spread out on my knuckle. What was I doing?I let go, and sat up. I looked at the clock. We'd been asleep for hours. It was nearly five P.M. on Christmas Eve!“Santa… Kris. Wake up,” I said, my back to him, not wanting to be tempted by the sight of his cock again. “It's Christmas Eve.”He woke up and cursed again at his misbehaving member.I laughed. “Maybe you should invest in some stretch-pants,” I said.He chuckled deeply. “I'm glad I amuse you so much.”I still had no idea what to do to help him, but I knew where to start.“Kris. You need to take me to the North Pole.”I said it firmly, in a no-nonsense way. He said, “Okay.”He'd parked his Sleigh behind a stand of trees a few hundred yards from the diner. My god, the reindeer were beautiful. They were huge and furry. I couldn't believe I was actually seeing them with my own eyes! Kris introduced them to me. Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Sprinkles. Blitzen was apparently home, sick with a cold. As I met each reindeer I was amazed at how individual each one was. Some pranced and pawed, others just stared at me stoically. Apparently Kris understood their language, but I didn't. Just sounded like a bunch of honking and snorting to me.Santa had to hook them to the sleigh, because he'd unbridled them before coming to see me at the Moose Café. That actually touched me a bit. It meant he'd planned to spend some time chatting with me. Or maybe it meant he'd hoped to fuck me. Either way, it was touching.The sleigh was impressive for how unimpressive it was. In all the movies it's this super-amazing contraption. But Santa's sleigh is just an ordinary wooden sleigh with chipped paint and rusty old bells. It looked like it had been patched up a hundred times like the old junker I drove. When I climbed aboard, I didn't feel magical. I had imagined this moment my whole life, but it was actually quite ordinary. Just two people climbing aboard an old sleigh. Ho, hum.But then he shouted in his booming voice, “Dash away!” and the reindeer started galloping. The whole rickety contraption lifted off the snow, as if it were light as a feather. My heart leapt up in my throat! Now this was more like it! The reindeer hooves were now running in midair. We banked up steeply, twisting and dodging among the glistening treetops. I suddenly felt as if the sleigh were going to tip over, so I threw my arms around Kris and looked back to see the lights of Anchorage growing small behind us. The sky was clear. The storm had passed during the night. We were surrounded by stars, dancing playfully around the moon, illuminating a wonderland of snow below us. I held Kris Kringle tight. We snuggled up together, so comfy… so cozy were we.After a while I noticed something odd.“Kris. We must be a thousand feet up, in the arctic… but I'm not cold.”“Of course not. You're with me.”We were picking up speed, but I saw Kris pull back on the reins a bit. I understood. There were still things to be said, but he didn't know how to continue.I gave him a nudge, “So, what happened after the orgy in your office? It sounds like you'd sort of made your peace with the situation.”“Yes. That's right. I didn't have any more orgies for a while. But I did start sleeping with… I mean, fucking female elves, usually one to four at a time. I was shy about it at first, but Blizzard was happy to hook me up with any elf that caught my eye, as long as they weren't Mary's elves. But soon I didn't need help. I hung sprigs of mistletoe about the factory, and if any female elf happened to be standing under one, well she was fair game. It was really quite a fun, liberating time. But I missed Snowbell.”“You didn't see Snowbell?”“No. I asked around for her, but Mary made it clear that Snowbell was her elf, not mine. I didn't want to fight, so there wasn't much I could do about it. Mary and I… well we never talked about any of it. Eventually we stopped talking entirely. She never ate dinner with me anymore, but stayed over in her wing working on her project.”“So you never saw Snowbell again?” I felt sad. From his story, I could tell that Snowbell was special to him.He smiled, “I saw her one last time. She snuck into my bedroom one night. I awoke with her sucking my cock. She laughed and laughed when I woke up, thinking it was the funniest thing in the world. Then she got serious and said that she'd been wanting to see me ever so much, but Mary wouldn't let her. I could tell she was conflicted. She was still wearing her hair down as said she would, but she had no choice but to obey Mary. It was in her blood. So I asked her what she was doing in my room. She said Mary had sent her with a proposition. In exchange for one night with Snowbell, I was to donate something to the sex toy project.”“What?”“My cock.”“What do you mean?”“I asked the same thing and when Snowbell told me I had no choice but to comply. I would have traded anything for one more night with that little elf. We fucked for hours. I think we both knew it would be our last time. But before I was done, and when I was at my hardest and longest, Snowbell shaved all the hair off my cock and balls, and spread a molding compound around everything.”Oh, my god… could it be?“When Snowbell was finished she had a perfect cast of my cock and balls. She cleaned off the residue and we went back to fucking… making love, actually, until I fell asleep. When I awoke, Snowbell and the cast were gone.”I started breathing hard. Oh my god, I thought, I hope he tells me what I think he's gonna tell me!“I was sad. But Christmas was coming and I had no time to be maudlin. Anyway, a few days before Christmas Eve Mary finally showed me the sex toy she wanted me to deliver. Apparently, after all the product testing with all the crazy contraptions she could find, she'd determined that the classic sex toy would be best. The big giant dick.”I was right! I was right!“She'd turned the cast of my cock into this big rubber…”I interrupted him, shouting in delight, “…dildo that plays Christmas carols!”He looked at me and a big smile warmed his face. “Did you like it, Virginia?”Oh it was too wonderful for words. “Kris! You saved my life!” I stood up, jumped between his knees and threw my arms around him, kissing him with all my love. Kris Kringle had saved my life!We kissed for a long time. His cock got hard, emerging from the hole in his pants again. It moved up my belly and rested between my breasts, but I didn't touch it. I just wanted to kiss him and he wanted to kiss me. We explored each other's mouths for a long time, sometimes looking into each other's eyes. His azure eyes were the color of a clear blue mountain lake. Eventually his cock realized that I didn't want to fuck, and it shrunk again. I just wanted to kiss Kris Kringle on his sleigh, a thousand feet above the ground, as we crossed the Arctic Circle.When I'd had my fill, I stepped back and saw the quizzical expression on his face.“Thanks,” he said. “But I didn't save your life, Virginia. I just gave you a rubber cock. You didn't send me your customary Christmas list, so I had to put your name on Mary's sex toy list. I was… actually quite worried that you'd be offended by it. That was a pretty obscene Christmas gift. I almost refused to deliver them… but Mary had put so much work into her project, and I was so distracted by all the elf sex I was having, I just didn't have the energy to say no. But right before delivering them, I ripped all the 'from: Santa' tags off.”I put my hands on his fuzzy face. I loved him with all my heart. I'd always loved Santa. But now I loved Kris Kringle, and that's a different thing altogether. “Kris, I never really finished my story earlier. I think now's a good time to tell you how I finally got my shit together. And how you saved my life. ”“Okay”, he said.I kneeled on the bench next to him and held his hand as I talked. “Well, when I found out I was a truck stop whore, I was pretty ticked off, let me tell you. I didn't regret fucking and blowing scores of anonymous Santas. But the lying… it really pissed me off. So before that jerk of a truck driver came back from the shitter, I got behind the wheel of his eighteen-wheeler and drove off without him. He'd taught me how to drive it, the idiot. I headed straight for Alaska. I knew he wouldn't call the cops on me. I mean, what could he say to them? He was my pimp. I could easily prove that and put him in jail."I stopped for gas and Santa hunting all along the Alaska Highway. Fort Nelson, Watson Lake, Winterhorse… Everywhere I stopped I found Santas to kiss and suck and fuck, but they all turned out to be phonies. But I kept heart. I was on a holy mission. Something… some natural force in the universe was driving me to seek you out!”“Well,” he said, “You've finally found me.”I kissed him again, but briefly, and continued my story, “I was getting more and more desperate. By the time I reached Anchorage, Christmas was only a few days away. I started cracking up. I needed to find you… I knew you were in crisis… that you needed me. I was so desperate that I started questioning everything I knew about Santa, and I stopped looking for bearded, jolly, fat men. Now… any man would do. Any man at all as long as he was over thirty. I'd just walk into a gas station or a bar and start kissing every man in the place. Sometimes they'd chase me out… sometimes they wouldn't. Sometimes it ended up with me following them home or taking them back to my stolen truck. Sometimes I was flat on my back in the slushy mud of a freezing cold back alley. Sometimes it was more than one man at a time. One night, four days before Christmas Eve, I went into a sleazy bar, and I was gang fucked. I won't say gang-raped, because I enjoyed every fucking instant of it. There were ten or fifteen men there, all ages, all races, all sizes, fucking me one after another, filling my pussy with cum, shoving their cocks down my throat, jacking off all over my naked body as I lay on my back on the pool table. I loved it… but one by one I realized none of them were you. I begged them to call their friends, anyone, everyone, because Santa was out there somewhere and he needed me to fuck him!”“Oh, Virginia. I'm so sorry.”“An hour and eight men later, a woman came into the bar looking for her boyfriend. When she saw me naked on the pool table, dripping with cum, a line of men waiting for their turn on me, she fought them off and rescued me. I didn't want to leave, but by this time I was too exhausted to resist. She wanted to call the police, but I convinced her that they weren't raping me. I'd asked them to do it… begged them to. She gave me a t-shirt, since my clothes were back at the bar. Then she gave me some sleeping pills, and I fell asleep. But as soon as I woke up I ran straight out the door. Soon I was dashing through the snow, barefoot, going from house to house, looking for men."The first door I banged on was answered by a little old man, probably in his nineties, carrying an oxygen tank. He looked jolly enough for me. I kissed him like crazy, but the tubes that were blowing oxygen up his nose were in the way, so I got on my knees, unzipped his fly and went to town on his cock before he even knew what was happening. He got very hard, very fast. I gobbled on his knob until he shot his wad in my mouth. I looked up at his astonished face, and realized he wasn't you, so I apologized, and ran to the next house. Nobody home. Next house: a woman. Next house…"I found a middle aged man shoveling his sidewalk. I pushed him onto his back in the snow and started kissing him and rubbing myself all over him. I crawled up his body and rubbed my pussy in his face… I was naked under the t-shirt. He was too stunned to lick me or anything so I just fucked his face for a while. He took off his gloves and started feeling me up… my ass, my tits. Finally he started licking my pussy like crazy. That was more like it! I finally had a screaming orgasm. I was going to fuck him next, but I heard his wife in the house yelling, 'what was that noise, Frank? Are you okay?' Frank? Not Santa? I jumped up and ran off. Next house, nobody home, next house a woman making breakfast for her children."Next I came across a small church. I ran inside, intending to pray for you to find me, but instead I found the pastor polishing a candelabra. Soon, I was polishing his penis; first with my mouth, then with my pussy. He was an enthusiastic convert to the church of Virginia, because he bent me over on the railing they give communion at and fucked me from behind. Instead of shooting his wad in me, however, he had me kneel in front of him while he jerked himself off on my face. I looked up at him, my hands together, praying he would turn out to be the real true Santa. He wasn't. Just a perverted priest, led astray by a Santa-seeking slut."I was absolutely totally crazed, but happy, so happy! I felt as if I were fulfilling my purpose in the universe! I didn't even knock at the next door I came to. I just barged right in and saw a teenaged boy sitting in front of a television, playing a video game. He was definitely the youngest person I'd ever considered might be Santa, but by this time my standards had really slipped. It turned out later he was eighteen, but I didn't even think about it at the time. I just pushed his game controller aside, unzipped his fly and started sucking his cock. He couldn't believe what was happening. It was like his secret Christmas wish had come true. I heard later that he was a virgin. He isn't anymore. As soon as he was good and hard, I jumped on his lap and started fucking him. He was so astonished that he didn't even notice the preacher's cum dripping off my face. As I fucked him I lifted my shirt up and rubbed my breasts all over his face. His hard young cock felt so good inside me! I started having a screaming orgasm. Soon he started quivering, then he started cumming."That's when his mother came back from the store. She'd gone to buy a new snow shovel. When she walked in, she thought her son was being attacked by some wild woman from the woods… and I guess he was. She attacked me with the snow shovel.”I lifted up my bangs, to show the long scar I now had on my forehead.Kris' eyes were smoky with compassion. I noticed he had an erection from my story, but he'd put a blanket in his lap to cover it up. He leaned toward me and kissed my scar.I smiled, “There's another one on my thigh… I'll let you kiss that one later. That woman really did a number on me. She even knocked out my two front teeth. I still owe money for the implants. But… actually, she did me a favor. She stopped my ecstatic rampage. I woke up in the Anchorage hospital.”“Yes, I remember,” said Kris. “I'd wondered why you were in a hospital, but I couldn't stick around to find out. I still had millions of presents to deliver.”I put my hand on his cheek. “That's okay. Anyway, when I woke up, it was Christmas eve. I was scarred, and black and blue all over. A male doctor came in to see me, and the first thing I did was to try to unzip his fly to suck his cock. He backed off and I tried to get out of bed to get at him! He said there was a big suture on my thigh, so I needed to keep still. But I didn't care. The nurses had to restrain me… strap me to the bed so I wouldn't hurt myself. The doctor called in a psychiatrist. I was too crazed with desperation to lie, so I told her that I needed to find Santa, I needed to fuck him! I couldn't explain it. I just had to! She was very nice, but in the end she filled out some paperwork to have me transferred to a mental hospital in a few days. I knew what that meant. I'd be locked up! But later that night I was able to talk the nurses into taking off my restraints. They figured it was cruel to keep me strapped down on Christmas Eve. But they kept a sharp eye on me. I waited and waited for everyone to leave for the day. But I fell asleep, listening to the nurses sing Silver Bells as they exchanged presents out in the nurse's station. When I woke up, it was dark. No one was stirring.”“Not even a mouse?” asked Kris, smiling.“Not even a mouse. I snuck out of bed, determined to escape. I was going to run out into the cold dark night. It was crazy. The suture on my leg would have opened up. I'd have bled to death, or froze. I didn't care. I just needed to find Santa… but then… I saw it.”“My present,” he said, smiling.I nodded. “Your present. It was sitting right there, on the rolling tray next to my bed. A big, red, wrapped oblong box. I wondered if the nurses had left it for me. I didn't see a tag. I wanted to run… but I thought… maybe, just maybe, this present was from you. So I carefully unwrapped it, quietly and slowly so nobody would hear me. I was surprised as fuck-all when I saw what was inside. It said 'Santa's Little Helper' on the box, and had a small cartoony drawing of you. Most of the box, though, was clear plastic and I could see what was inside. A giant rubber cock, colored red and white in a spiral pattern, just like the North Pole. I started laughing. I thought, what the fuck is this? Who the hell gave this crazy thing to me? I mean… it was obscene! It was like, fifteen inches long, and four inches thick!” I mimicked the shape and size of it with my hands. He laughed.“When I saw your cock earlier, I should have recognized it. But the spiral red and white stripes must have thrown me off. And I never, even once, thought that YOU had given me that crazy cock! I took it out of the package, absolutely fascinated by it! I didn't know then what I found so fascinating. But… now I know. It was you, Kris. It was your cock. It was what I'd been searching for the last three years… but I didn't even know it! I held it in my hands, feeling its meaty weight… it's insane girth. In spite of the unrealistic coloring, it felt so realistic. I had a rubber cock once… it was all floppy, but this thing… well it was stiff as well as soft, just like a real cock. I knew it would never fit inside me… but I had to try it out. I lay back on my bed, my desire to run away suddenly forgotten. I lifted up my hospital gown and pulled my panties open. I put the head of that monster up to my pussy lips and began to masturbate my clit with it. It felt amazing. I have no idea why. My skin tingled at its touch. It began to vibrate, even though I hadn't turned on any switch. It was a soft vibration… almost undetectable, not like the crude buzzing that normal dildoes make. I started getting wet… and I mean soaking wet. I pushed the head of that thing between my pussy lips and it slid inside. I couldn't believe it. I'd never been able to enjoy the feeling of a big dick inside me, and this was bigger than any I'd ever felt before. It was mind blowing. Oh sure, it felt tight, but it fit! So I decided that it must have been designed to shrink in order to fit inside anybody, no matter their size, you know, like squeezing a sponge. Anyway, it felt good inside me, so I thrust it deeper and it really seemed to go farther than I would have thought possible. It was like a magic act really… the way it seemed to disappear inside me… all the way to the base. And weirdest of all… it was like I could feel all fifteen inches of it inside me, even though I know, for a fact, I am not fifteen inches deep!”Kris was surprised to hear all this. “I didn't know it did that. Mary didn't demonstrate it for me. Just loaded them up on the sleigh. Wow. Elf magic, I guess.”I giggled, “When it was all the way inside me, it started playing a Christmas carol. 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town'. I laughed out loud! I thought it was the craziest gift ever! I was so curious who'd left it for me so I could thank them! I grabbed it by its big, heavy balls and started fucking myself with it, and soon I felt so good, I forgot all about how weird it was. I was just fucking myself, feeling the vibration of the music deep inside me. I crammed it into myself for minute after wonderful minute, screaming into a pillow to stifle the sound. I had a powerful orgasm. Powerful."I lay back, the cock… your cock, still inside me, and I went into a post orgiastic state. But your cock wasn't finished with me! It started moving inside me, very slightly, just enough to keep my orgasm zinging, like it was a stone skipping across a lake. I don't know how long this lasted but when it was over… I was absolutely spent… and I felt content. My need to chase Santa had lessened. It was still there, but the hungry, insane desperation was gone. I pulled your cock out of me and lay in bed, hugging it to my belly like a pet, and fell asleep, getting the first really good night's sleep I'd had in two years.”I kissed Kris again. “Thank you for the present Santa.”“You're welcome, Virginia.”To be continued..By cb summers for Literotica

Henry reacts to the word about Kirk Cousins getting benched by the Falcons, we discuss the merits of a Kringle, and we have Word on The Street.

In the second hour, we welcome Civic Media's Genie and bringer of all great things, Wisconsin, Teri Barr. We talk cheese curds, Kringle's, lots of pies and a young singer/songwriter named Paige Kleber. You can always get to know more about this state by going to the Civic Media website and reading her stories. Then we welcome Katie Jenson, who is the Director of Marketing and Philanthropy for Humanity Animal Welfare Society (HAWS) and she is talking about their adoption event. And to round out the show, we bring you another This Shouldn't Be A Thing - Parenting Tips Edition As always, thank you for listening, texting and calling, we couldn't do this without you! Don't forget to download the free Civic Media app and take us wherever you are in the world! Matenaer On Air is a part of the Civic Media radio network and airs Monday through Friday from 10 am - noon across the state. Subscribe to the podcast to be sure not to miss out on a single episode! You can also rate us on your podcast distribution center of choice, they go a long way! To learn more about the show and all of the programming across the Civic Media network, head over to https://civicmedia.us/shows to see the entire broadcast line up. Follow the show on Facebook, X and YouTube to keep up with Jane and the show! Guest: Teri Barr

Choice Classic Radio presents Yours Truly Johnny Dollar, which aired from 1949 to 1962. Today we bring to you the episode titled "The Carmen Kringle Matter.”  Please consider supporting our show by becoming a patron at http://choiceclassicradio.com We hope you enjoy the show!

Join Johnny Mac as he shares five delightful Christmas stories that are sure to put you in a festive mood. From the return of 90s Christmas decor to a dry Christmas trend among Gen Z, there's something for everyone. Discover Mark's impressive collection and the festive fun at the 12 Bars of Christmas, followed by Leslie Gray's unique collection of nutcrackers modeled after black celebrities. Lastly, find out all about the traditional Racine Kringle pastry that has become a holiday favorite. Tune in for heartwarming tales and holiday cheer! 00:15 90s Christmas Decor Makes a Comeback01:10 Dry Christmas Trend Among Gen Z01:31 The 12 Bars of Christmas Event03:40 Collecting Celebrity Nutcrackers04:40 Exploring the Delicious Kringle PastryUnlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get all our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed! 

CHECK OUT LIVING KRINGLE from Hey Girl Hey ProductionsWhat happens when creativity meets procrastination head-on? Join us as we share our personal struggles with content creation and the constant tug-of-war between inspiration and deadlines. We'll reveal the humor in swapping our creative roadblocks and discuss how motivation sometimes boils down to simply hitting that post button. With TikTok's future in question, we explore how community and self-reflection can become our secret weapons for overcoming procrastination and achieving our creative goals. Hear the deeply moving account of visiting sites tied to the Atlantic slave trade, where history books fall short of capturing the true depth of tragedy. Walking through castles and dungeons, and standing at the poignant "last bath" site, offers a perspective that is both heart-wrenching and enlightening. Drawing parallels to visits to places like the National Museum of African American History, we reflect on the significance of sharing these experiences with friends and recognize the weight of the stories these spaces hold. As we edge closer to Kwanzaa, there's an opportunity to honor these histories while looking forward to future celebrations.Celebrate with us as we mark Blair's milestone in her first filmed project, a creative homage to "Living Single." We can't help but express our pride in Blair's multifaceted talents as an actor, writer, and director, all of which shine brightly in this production. Her dedication and passion reignite a creative spark, proving the power of planning, teamwork, and following one's dreams. Amidst some light-hearted gaming anecdotes and TikTok distractions, we also highlight the importance of support and engagement—especially when it comes to Blair's latest accomplishment. Listen in for a mix of laughter, introspection, and a hearty dose of inspiration.Follow US IG: https://www.instagram.com/highlymelanatedpodcast Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/H_MelanatedPod YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb2VbyoW6KaMxQo5onYluXAIF YOU WANT TO BE A GUEST OR KNOW SOMEONE WHO WOULD BE A GREAT CHOICE, HIT US UP!!!FEEL FREE TO EMAIL US @highlymelanatedpodcast@gmail.com

Come compete for Christmas with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “How My Neighbor Stole Christmas” by Meghan Quinn! When Storee Taylor comes back to Kringletown (not Whoville, but not not Whoville) to visit her Aunt Cindy (not Cindy Lou Hou, but not not Cindy Lou Hou) she is reunited with former friend Cole Black. It's Aunt Cindy's dying wish to win the town's Kringle competition, but it's Cole's wish to steal the glory from Storee! This cutesy friends-to-long distance enemies-to-neighbors-to-competitors-to-lovers holiday book will have you kicking your little feet, questioning if your pH could handle it, and wondering what a Kringle is! We'll never know, and maybe we don't want to find out!New Episodes out every Tuesday! Join our Patreon to receive early (and bonus!) episodes and more! Patreon.com/ClutchMyPearlsPod Watch the video version of this podcast on our YouTube channel! Follow @ClutchMyPearlsPod on TikTok, Twitter, Instagram and GoodReads! We have MERCH! Check out our #linkinbio to go to our store!Do you have a smut recommendation for the girls? Send an email to: ClutchMyPearlsPod@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greg Matzek and Jessica Tighe are next joined in by another president emeritus, one of O&H Danish Bakery, Eric Olesen to talk about the “White Christmas” line of Kringle, Kringle competition and more. 

Very sad to hear about Willy Adames moving on to San Francisco NOW AT NOON: -Chemicals in everyday products are now banned -End of an era(s): Taylor Swift's Eras tour ended recently in Vancouver; the highest grossing tour of all time. -Reservations for visiting the Notre Dame Cathedral are sold out despite it being free; it's the first time it has been open since the fire. Greg Matzek and Jessica Tighe are joined in-studio by MMAC President Emeritus Tim Sheehy to talk about Eli Lilly's major investment project in Kenosha, Moxy Hotel coming to downtown Milwaukee, the Marquette Wisconsin game from over the weekend and more. Greg Matzek and Jessica Tighe are next joined in by another president emeritus, one of O&H Danish Bakery, Eric Olesen to talk about the “White Christmas” line of Kringle, Kringle competition and more. A new development in the United Healthcare CEO murder: a person of interest has been found and taken into custody in Altoona, Pennsylvania and we have a name. Pantone's Color of the Year is Mocha Mousse; Greg and Jessica discuss.

The gang is off to Victorian London 

A rag tag group of strangers in a bar on Christmas Eve are recruited to save Jolly Old St Nick!

Ozark Mountain Christmas with Byron Tyler and co-host Pam Yancey, President of ExploreBranson.com continues with this Third Show in the Series. Guests include, from Big Cedar Lodge with Madison Horner. Madison offers details Big Cedar's Home for the Holidays with activities like ice skating, holiday tram tours, and over 4 million holiday lights on display. Next up is Carol Knudsen with Beyond the Lens to take us to the North Pole aboard FlyRide's Polar Express, Pam Critchfield with Kringle's Christmas Shop. Kringle's Christmas Shop is located in the Grand Village, where it's Christmas all year! Next is Kortney Neil with Sight-Sound Theatre, where the Bible comes to life! Kortney shares about Miracle of Christmas, live on stage. These shows were produced in the Bott Radio Network studios in Branson, Missouri. Learn more about making plans to spend Christmas in Branson at www.explorebranson.com

Your favorite candle podcast is back after a long hiatus!  This week, Selena chats with singer/songwriter Zach Day who is in his candle era and eager to share it with you! Zach shares his candle journey, from the hollers of Appalachia to the stages of Hollywood on THE VOICE! Plus, Zach shares a HUGE update about his newest collab. ENJOY then subscribe, rate, and review! (music: bensound.com)

85 Days until Christmas. This year, the Christmas Podcast Network has a charity Christmas Ornament sale! Please go to https://closertochristmas.com and click the link to purchase your ornament for charity today!  If you would like to pick up the Closer to Christmas Coloring Book that I released, for yourself, or as a gift for someone, you can do so, by clicking here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/7n5QjOr⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ You can follow me here: @closertoxmas You can also email me, I would love to hear your feedback. Email me at closertochristmaspodcast@gmail.com Please rate and review the podcast wherever you are listening, it helps spread the word, and I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. To check out any visual component to this epidode, check out my Youtube page: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@closertochristmas⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ And finally, and HUGE thank you to my brother, Kevin, for allowing me to use his music throughout my show. If you like what you hear, you can pick up his album on Itunes, which can be found here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠A solstice night on Apple music or A Solstice Night on Amazon⁠

  Thank you for tuning in to Episode 283 of the Down Cellar Studio Podcast. Full show notes with photos can be found on my website.   This week's segments included:   Off the Needles, Hook or Bobbins On the Needles, Hook or Bobbins Brainstorming From the Armchair Knitting in Passing KAL News Events Contest, News & Notes Life in Focus On a Happy Note Quote of the Week   Thank you to this episode's sponsors: Stitchin with Yarn, winemakerssister, Yumi Yarns & Fibernymph Dye Works   Off the Needles, Hook or Bobbins LFA Helical Socks Yarn: Legacy Fiber Artz Steel Toes in the Portal Colorway & a Mystery Colorway (both 50g skeins: 75% SW Merino, 25% Nylon). Knit Picks Felici in the Beatnik Colorway Pattern: OMG Heel Socks by Megan Williams ($5 knitting pattern available on Ravelry) Needles: US 1.5 (2.5 mm) Ravelry Project Page Cast on in June 2023. Finished September 5. Forgot to share in the last episode.   Frozen Shake Cozy Pattern: Ball Band with a Twist by Jennifer Lassonde. $2 crochet pattern available on Ravelry | LoveCrafts Yarn: worsted crochet cotton Hooks: F (3.75mm) & G (4.0mm) Ravelry Project Page Yarn- mystery blue cotton on a cone that was from Aunt Rachel's stash. Made for mom during September hospital stay when the dietitians started making frozen shakes to get nutrients into her.   Ribbed Bobble Pumpkin Pattern: Ribbed Bobble Pumpkin by Breann Mauldin. $3 crochet pattern available on Ravelry. Free version available here. Yarn: KnitKraft Wintuk Yarn in the Tangerine Colorway Hook: F (3.75 mm) Ravelry Project Page Yarn gifted to me by my friend Heather. We became friends through the dancing school we went to. Her mother was the stage manager and my mom was the house manager for our recitals. We've all know each other since I was 12. Heather's mother Rita passed away a few years ago. When Heather heard my mom was in the hospital she dropped off a care package at the dancing school- chemo caps for Mom and yarn from her mom's stash for me!   Rita's pumpkins Pattern: Pumpkin by June Gilbank. Free crochet pattern available on Ravelry. Free version available here. Yarn: KnitKraft Wintuk Yarn in the Tangerine Colorway Hook: F (3.75 mm) Ravelry Project Page 5 finished Yarn is definitely 1970s/1980s squeeky acrylic, so not my favorite to work with, but it feels great to put it to good use and to bring a bit of life to Rita's old stash.   Farmhouse Pumpkin Pattern: Farmhouse Pumpkins by More Dreams Less Life. $4.25 crochet pattern available on Ravelry. Yarn: KnitKraft Wintuk Yarn in the Tangerine Colorway Hook: F (3.75 mm) Ravelry Project Page Worked in the round. Does use FP & BP HDC which I learned in my crochet cables class at Staci's! Love the look of this. Worked up in an evening of TV.   Pumpkin Patch Cup Cozy Pattern: Pumpkin Patch Cup Cozy by Kylee Keller. Free crochet pattern available on Ravelry & this blog. Yarn: KnitKraft Wintuk Yarn in the Tangerine Colorway, Knit Picks Brava Worsed in the Dublin colorway (green) & mystery brown acrylic yarn from stash. Hook: F (3.75 mm) Ravelry Project Page The pattern calls for thicker yarn and a larger hook than I had. It also calls for what's essentially a 1x1 ribbed look, but I liked the look of the ribbing from the front/back post crochets on the Farmhouse Pumpkins, so I used that pattern instead. I used the stitch count from my Ball Band with a Twist pattern (available on Ravelry | LoveCrafts).   On the Needles, Hook or Bobbins Farmhouse Pumpkin Pattern: Farmhouse Pumpkins by More Dreams Less Life. $4.25 crochet pattern available on Ravelry. Yarn: KnitKraft Wintuk Yarn in the Rust Colorway Hook: F (3.75 mm) Ravelry Project Page I initially grabbed the yarn from Heather and threw some in my bag for the hospital and rest (still in its plastic Thom McCann shoe store bag lol into my craft room). I though the other skein of Wintuk was red- but when I went down there again, I realized it was rust! and the pumpkin madness continued! Cast on Saturday 9/28 watching Season 2 of the OA with Dan on Netflix.   Static Musselburgh Pattern: Musselburgh Hat by Ysolda Teague (7 GBP Knitting Pattern available on Ravelry & Ysolda's website) Yarn: Knit Picks Static Fingering Weight Yarn in the Peppercorn colorway Needles: US 2 (2.75 mm) & US 2.5 (3.0 mm) Ravelry Project Page Note- the pattern just got some updates About the yarn: blues, grays, cream and a bit of a salmony orange. Self patterning yarn. Progress: 15 inches. I will plan to add one more inch and then work the decreases.   Let the Mystery Unravel 2023 Blanket of Calm Pattern: Blanket of Calm by Casapinka (free crochet pattern) Yarn: Woolen Women Fibers- Let the Mystery Unravel subscription + Cascade Heritage Sock yarn in the Forged Iron Colorway Hook: 3.25 mm (D) Ravelry Project Page You can find my Let the Mystery Unravel Unboxing Video on YouTube in this Playlist This subscription is not available to new subscribers but there's a new one coming in the Fall. Blanket Pre-Orders for the Murder She Knit club are available now! Please consider using my Affiliate Link. Progress: I finished 9 my July squares & seamed them. I started my August squares and have 1 package waiting for me to open- the last batch.   Stranger Things 2 Socks Yarn: Desert Vista Dyeworks Viso base (75% SW Merino/25% Nylon) in the Stranger Things 2 Self Striping Colorway Pattern: OMG Heel Socks by Megan Williams ($5 knitting pattern available on Ravelry) Needles: US 1.5 (2.5 mm) Ravelry Project Page Cast on the morning of Thursday 9/5 for the Pigskin Party. I didn't get to join in the round until that night, but now its well underway. About the colorway- stripes of: orange, hot pink, purple, navy blue, medium blue and red. Progress- My first Pigskin Cast on using Snack Shack Sponsor yarn. I'm almost to heel of the first sock.   Rest Relax Recharge Socks Yarn: Hypnotic Yarn: Plush Sock in the Rest Relax Recharge Colorway (from the March 2023 Yarnable Box) Pattern: OMG Heel Socks by Megan Williams ($5 knitting pattern available on Ravelry) Needles: US 1.5 (2.5 mm) Ravelry Project Page Cast on both cuffs so I can try to work these up quickly. They'll match some of Mom's go-to pjs. Cute acrylic Pigskin markers from Twin Mountain Handcrafts on them. Thanks ladies for sending them to me. I love them.   Brainstorming Making the pumpkins has me itching to make toys. It would be great to make some for the little kiddos for Christmas. I need to start the Christmas stocking for my cousin Colleen's little boy Owen so I have that ready for Thanksgiving. The pumpkins also have me longing to crochet some hats.   From the Armchair Finlay Donovan is Killing It by Elle Cosimano. Bookshop Affiliate Link. Amazon Affiliate Link. Finlay Donovan Knocks 'Em Dead by Elle Cosimano. Bookshop Affiliate Link. Amazon Affiliate Link.   Note: Some links are listed as Amazon Affiliate Links. If you click those, please know that I am an Amazon Associate and I earn money from qualifying purchases.   Knitting in Passing Talked to several nurses and other staff about my knitting and crochet while in with Mom. One PCA learned to knit before but said she never really full understood it. I told her I'd be happy to meet her for coffee and a lesson anytime. The staff all oooh and ahhh over Mom's handknit socks. One morning when Mom was really out of it from anesthesia the day before, I was putting on her handknit socks and I had them totally crooked, heel on the side, and she was busting my chops. I told her "hey, I said I was good at knitting them, not putting them on!" and she insisted on taking a photo for me to share! Little glimpses of her coming back to her real self were great- even if it was going to be a bit more time before she was back to normal. I recently saw a notice in my town's Facebook page that the senior center is looking for yarn they can use to make things to sell at holiday's craft fairs. PSA: even if your community hasn't reached out- see if they need yarn so you can clear out anything you don't need and know it will go to good use.   KAL News Pigskin Party '24 #DCSPigskinParty24 Event Dates: Thursday September 5, 2024- Monday February 10, 2025 Find everything you need in the Start Here Thread in the Ravelry Group Official Rules Registration Form  (you must be Registered to be eligible for prizes) Enter your projects using the Point Tally Form Find the full list of Sponsors in this Google Doc. Coupon Codes are listed in this Ravelry Thread Exclusive Items from our Pro Shop Sponsors are listed in this Ravelry Thread Questions-  ask them in this Ravelry Thread or email Jen at downcellarstudio @ gmail.com Tailgate Talk Challenge- Click here for Ravelry Link Great way to get to know your team. There will be daily prompts from 9/5 through 9/16. Answer them in your Team thread in the Ravelry Group. If you answer them all, no more than 2 per day, you'll get 150 points (as long as you enter them on the Points Tally form by 10/1).  Our Official Sponsor for Q1 (October) is The Little Wolf Knits. This means you've got a challenge that can earn you more points and entry towards a cool prize. Check out the challenge details in this Ravelry post Commentator Mary Klute's report- One of the best things about the pigskin party is the community!  It is so much fun to get to know other players and the annual Tailgate Talk is a great way to do that. It looks like this year's Tailgate Talk was a great success--at the time of this report nearly 200 players had submitted for their Tailgate Talk points! But players aren't just chatting--they are also finishing projects!  So far there are 307 finished projects on the scoreboard, including 10 blitzes!  And it looks like players are really using sponsor products to rack up some extra points.  So far, finished projects have earned over 50 points on average by using sponsor products!  Symama09 is a great example of how to really maximize those sponsor points.  She earned 280 sponsor points on her recently finished gnome by using 2 proshop exclusive products, three proshop non-exclusive products, and two products from snack shack sponsors!  Her gnome is super cute too- check out the Ravelry Project Page here! Finally, don't forget to spread the word about the PSP!  You can join 14 players who have been earning points by drafting players! Tune in to hear if you're a September Participation Prize winner. I will be in touch with all winners via email.   Events Vermont Sheep & Wool: October 5 & 6, 2024 in Tunnebridge, VT Lambtown, Dixon, CA - Oct 5-6, 2024 NY Sheep & Wool Festival (aka Rhinebeck): October 19 & 20, 2024 in Rhinebeck, NY Maryland Alpaca and Fleece Festival: November 9-10, 2024 in West Friendship, Maryland For more West Coast (US) event- check out the Seattle Knitters Guild Site.   Know of an event I should spread the word about? Let me know!   Contest, News & Notes   My friend Linda is looking for donations of warm handknit/crocheted items for adult and youth homeless in Massachusetts. They set up tables on Thanksgiving and put all of the handmade items on the fence outside the First Church in Woburn, MA. Calling for all makers who want to donate. PM me on Ravelry or email me at downcellarstudio at gmail.com and I'll give you the address to send them to. Any fiber type welcome. Hats, scarves, mitts, shawls, blankets. Anything warm is welcome!   Life in Focus Update on Mom: Diane is still in the hospital after being admitted on 9/12. Attempts at the bedside to put filler into her right vocal cord to bring back her voice didn't work, so they brought her down to the OR and did the procedure there. She has so much more volume now! She doesn't notice a huge difference but we all do. We thought about 2 weeks in that she'd be going home, bags were all packed and they decided to do a last minute CT which showed spots in her lungs. We were told it wasn't cancer but it took until Thursday to do a Bronchoscopy to reveal the cause of that issue- 2 different bacterial infections. Of course at first we were told it was just 1 and she could go home on oral antibiotics. 10 minutes later the other was found and now she has to stay for at least a few days of IV antibiotics.   How to make it fun in the hospital Get to know your caregivers; find out what you have in common. It makes it more interesting if you can actually have a bond with the people you're interacting with on a regular basis. Get some new pajamas- especially if that's all you get to wear. If your family can stay over with you- get matching PJs. It's a little thing but it can make it feel a bit more special. Find ways to make the little things into bigger things. Our first matching PJ night, we wore flamingo pajamas. In advance of that, I purchased flamingo decorations at the party store and bought light up necklaces, straws & ice cubes to turn the evening into a party. The next night, we planned to have an ice cream sundae party. The unit always has ice cream on hand. Mom ordered a peach puree from the daily menu and I saved M&Ms that my cousin Jenny brought and we had an ice cream party. As it turns out, I spotted fireworks out the windows of the elevator lobby that night and was able to bring Mom over to see. Made what could have been an average night - or a depressign one because we thought she'd be home, more entertaining. Have folks send in mail and bring it to the patient! Chellescraps- Michelle, sent a bouquet of paper flowers (I believe they're from freshcutpaper)- my brother's family also got her one early on in her stay (these are great because, you may not know this but some patients cannot have fresh cut flowers- burn patients, some immunocompromised patients etc); Sewrunknit, Suzanne, sent a funny card, ElsaandEm, Emily, sent a handknit/embroidered flower pin, my cousin Jenny brought a WonderWoman balloon and ironically on the same day, a friend dropped off a Wonder Woman pillow at the house (great to use to push into Mom's side when she had pain) Ask friends and family to text photos and videos! Hattie sent Mom the cutest video of a little dance/kartwheel which was so fun.    On a Happy Note Sharpie Rollerball Pens (.5mm)- available on Amazon. The only thing that would make it better is if it was a click top, but I'm totally willing to live without the convenience. Trader Joe's Honey Hydration Day & Night Cream Duo. $7.99 (dupe for Farmacy Honey Halo, which I've never tried) One day when my SIL brought Riley, Garret and Millie in to see Mom at the hospital, Millie said she wanted to see my office, so since Mom was still at her MRI, we took a detour. Millie did a full on simulation of me at work, drinking selzter, typing on my computer etc. My parents celebrated their 47th Wedding Anniversary. Thankfully Dan had more brain cells and time than the rest of us and got Mom flowers on his way in to visit. I picked up my grandmother to bring her in for a visit with my Mom. We had a lovely visit. My cousin Sabrina came up from Tennessee with her girlfriend Maria for a visit with my Mom. It was so great catching up with them. Watching The American President. I love that movie. Mom and I had been talking about it in the hospital that day- specifically the line from Michael J. Fox (as Lewis Rothschild) "I tell any girl I'm going out with to assume that all plans are soft until she receives confirmation from me thirty minutes beforehand." Robin McCall: "And they find this romantic?" Lewis Rothschild: "Well, I say it with a great deal of charm." I was able to use our John Deere tractor/backhoe to free myself when a tree fell in our driveway and I was trapped. Dan was in Vermont and I thought I'd have to call my nephew Oisin but it didn't come to that! I scored a $300 ski bag with a charging set-up for boot warmers for $15 at a yard sale this weekend. Trader Joe's pumpkin Kringle! with Cinnamon coffee.   Quote of the Week   Strive to be whole, not perfect, for in wholeness we embrace both our strengths and our flaws, while in perfection, we lose the beauty of our true selves. -Unknown   ------   Contact Information: Check out the Down Cellar Studio Patreon! Ravelry: BostonJen & Down Cellar Studio Podcast Ravelry Group Instagram: BostonJen1 YouTube: Down Cellar Studio Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/downcellarstudio Sign up for my email newsletter to get the latest on everything happening in the Down Cellar Studio Check out my Down Cellar Studio YouTube Channel Knit Picks Affiliate Link Bookshop Affiliate Link Yarnable Subscription Box Affiliate Link FearLESS Living Fund to benefit the Blind Center of Nevada Music -"Soft Orange Glow" by Josh Woodward. Free download: http://joshwoodward.com/ Note: Some links are listed as Amazon Affiliate Links. If you click those, please know that I am an Amazon Associate and I earn money from qualifying purchases.  

Cringle gate is in full swing in the offices of WTMJ. We got an email with news of cringles! Good news. 4 minutes later, we got an email that there were no cringles. Heartbreaking. Since yesterday – three of the 10 missing cringles have returned. What is happening? Plus we get Gabe's thoughts on the Packers and Colts, as well as the Badgers against Bama this weekend.

Jen Gabe & Chewy talking about the Green Bay Packers gameplan with Malik Willis starting in place of an injured Jordan Love in week 2 against Anthony Richardson and the Indianapolis Colts. The Top 8 @ 8. The crew takes a listen to Malik Willis' comments about the his preparedness for Sundays game agianst the Colts, and how much of the playbook he has been able to learn since joining the team just a few weeks ago. The Crew discuss he missing Kringle's and the how 3 of the missing 10 have magically reappeared in the office.

This donut shaped treat has its roots way back to the seventh century but emigrated to the United States in the early 1800s.  Its name reminds most of the jolly gift bringer who lives at the North Pole. They can come in many different flavours and colours.  They've even become the state pastry of Wisconsin.  We are exploring the history and origins of the kringle. Website: https://www.seasonseatingspodcast.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/seasonseatingspodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seasonseatingspod Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/seasonseatpod Email: seasonseatingspodcast@gmail.com Youtube: https://youtube.com/@seasonseatings Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/seasonseatings

Josh Ostermann joins Ana, Eric, and Jake in The Cabin to discuss Wisconsin's most famous foods, offer up some trivia and background about them, and often some good suggestions on where to enjoy them. Ana takes kringle - which of course means a trip to Racine - as well as frozen custard, a Wisconsin-y twist on ice cream. Eric handles Wisconsin's love and knowledge of beer, diving into some of the wider varieties available across the state's 200+ craft breweries; he then serves up the history of the butter burger, with its origins in Milwaukee and Culver's Restaurants making it a national thing (from Wisconsin with love, of course.) Jake discusses the "miracle" of cheese - and it really kind of is a miracle, isn't it?? He also shares its origins, how Wisconsin became the leading state for cheese, and even some new ones developed in Wisconsin - such as Colby. Cranberries are next - serving as Wisconsin's #1 fruit crop and the official state fruit - bringing a brilliant red to the bogs in late summer and fall. Josh then shares the goods on Wisconsin's iconic fish fry and its history before shifting from surf to turf and talking Wisconsin brats. Wisconsin - and particularly Sheboygan - is the "Bratwurst capital" and he discusses everything from their history to key ways to cook 'em up right. They also share some events focused around these foods that are fun to attend. Dive in and snack on this episode of The Cabin!Inside Sponsors:VISIT Lake Geneva: https://www.visitlakegeneva.com/ Wisconsin Counties Association: https://www.wicounties.org/

What's the temperature on Mike Williams signing with the Jets? How much stock do you put into Rams coach Sean McVay being the NFL's top recruiter?  Bo Nix being compared to Drew Brees is _________?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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