Podcasts about love languages gary chapman

VIII. 5 Love Languages Gary Chapman[1] KEY POINTS The concept of “love languages” shows couples how to give each other love in ways that it Continue reading The post What is a Gift? 5 appeared first on Fides et Ratio.

TIME STAMPS: 00:21 Greg Haskell is a performance expert and writer at The Fittest / IG @ primal_greg / www.thefittest.com 05:41 Are you DISCIPLINED or are you ADDICTED? 12:02 Greg's leg training for ENDURANCE, PLYOMETRICS and STRENGTH. 18:08 Overview of Greg's diet, favorite family recipes and tips for encouraging healthy nutrition habits within the home. 23:51 “High-Functioning” AUTISTIC children: how we feed them, love them, and LEARN from them!!! 27:01 Why AUTISTIC people rule the world, and what we can learn from what they are gifted at especially as parents. 35:00 Discussion around The 5 Love Languages Gary Chapman within the home and how we apply these principles the best we can. 41:18 Trumpets, guitars, keyboards, drums, & Miles Davis! 50:48 Miles, Jaco, & Extreme Ownership other favorite audio books. 56:06 PLANNING FOR SUCCESS by creating a unique, personalized system to journal, schedule, and set goals. 01:17:52 Tips on TIME BLOCKING to get the most out of your day! 01:23:13 Life as CONTENT CREATORS (writing, podcasts, & public speaking). 01:25:02 The truth about FIBER and its impact on your GUT HEALTH. 01:32:31 Very effective tips to draw out your inner creativity. ==================================== Do you like RIBEYES? Search Carnivore Coaches Corner (the #1 bodybuilding podcast in England) on any platform for our NUTRITION PODCAST co-hosted with Coach Mark Ennis!  30-minute consultation with Coach Colt: https://calendly.com/ssyl/1-on-1-consultation-30-min SUPERSET Coaching membership inquiries: https://calendly.com/ssyl/meet-greet

Episode Notes: ~The overall goal of parenting is to bring up a biblically and morally responsible child.~  Love languages can be helpful to utilize with your kids and help them to be more others-centered.  The 5 Love Languages (Gary Chapman): 1. Gifts – giving gifts that express love 2. Words of Affirmation – words that affirm 3. Physical Touch – holding hands, loving touch 4. Quality time – spending intentional one on one time together 5. Acts of Service – serving another with desired acts  Speak all five of the languages, but learn how you can best express love to your child's preference.  You can teach the love languages to your kids to help them be others-centered. (“How can you be encouraging to your brother/sister today?”)  If you've never taken the Love Languages quiz, here's a link: https://5lovelanguages.com/  Discussion Questions: 1. What are your love languages as parents? 2. Discuss what your kids' love languages might be. 3. How might you help your family come together in awareness of one another's love languages and intentionally show love to one other?

We have both been through highs and lows in our relationships but learning about our attachment styles and our love languages completely changed everything for us. In this episode we run through what both of those things even mean and have honest chats about our own experiences with this. If you are curious about learning more on these topics after this episode here are some useful links below: Love language quiz - https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes Love language book - https://www.amazon.co.uk/5-Love-Languages-Gary-Chapman/dp/080241270X Attachemnt book - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Attached-Identify-attachment-style-perfect-ebook/dp/B0050CJNJC Esther Perel pod - https://www.estherperel.com/podcast Brene Brown Vulnerability - https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability?language=en

Embark on an insightful journey in Episode 39 of The New Marriage Podcast. We'll explore the authentic understanding of the 5 Love Languages. We'll do this with renowned expert Gary Chapman. Join hosts Cass and Kathryn Morrow as they explore the nuances of love communication. They will reveal the secrets to nurturing a deep and lasting connection in your marriage. Gain practical insights from the master himself. Discover how embracing the real 5 love languages can transform your relationship. Tune in for a profound discussion on love. We'll also discuss communication and building a thriving marriage.

Have you wondered why your partner no longer looks at you with starry eyes? Your Simblified hosts try to figure out this enormously important and vexatious question by dissecting the bestselling book "5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Drop everything you are doing and listen. Yours might become one of the world's immortal love stories, and at worst, you will get all the wisdom of the book without actually reading it. Or even needing it. Add one part news, one part bad jokes, one part Wikipedia research, one part cult references from spending too much time on the internet, one part Wodehouse quotes, and one part quality puns, and you get Simblified. A weekly podcast to help you appear smarter, to an audience that knows no less! Your four hosts - Chuck, Naren, Srikeit, and Tony attempt to deconstruct topics with humor (conditions apply). Fans of the show have described it as "fun conversations with relatable folks", "irreverent humor", "the funniest thing to come out of Malad West" and "if I give you a good review will you please let me go". Started in 2016 as a creative outlet, Simblified now has over 200 episodes, including some live ones, and some with guests who are much smarter than the hosts. Welcome to the world of Simblified! You can contact the hosts on: Chuck: twitter.com/chuck_gopal / instagram.com/chuckofalltrades Naren: twitter.com/shenoyn / instagram.com/shenoynv Tony: twitter.com/notytony / instagram.com/notytony Srikeit: twitter.com/srikeit / instagram.com/srikeitSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, David sits down to talk with Petrina and Ronald Delary-Simpson from Planet wellness. They help lots of people, but primarily small business owners, get rid of the fog in their brains, be more productive and more profitable through iridology. Petrina and Ronald explain what iridology is and how it can be used to help people to improve their wellness and energy levels. They explain how they combine iridology and kinesiology to help them to identify the dietary changes that would benefit someone the most. Changes that provide them with the fitness and energy they need to be able to succeed without having to work so many hours that they make themselves ill.KEY TAKEAWAYS You can't out train a bad diet – what you take in is what you get out of your body. Masters of iridology can learn a lot about the health of an individual from examining the iris and sclera. An awful lot of people are overworking themselves and not leaving any time free to look after their bodies. If you are experiencing symptoms, take the time to understand the underlying cause instead of just masking things by taking a tablet. With a little planning, preparing nutritious food is not time-consuming. You have to take positive action to improve your health. There are no shortcuts. It takes time to change habits. If you hit a roadblock, find a simple solution e.g., get into the habit of eating a piece of fruit while watching tv. Thinking positively and keeping things in context is an essential part of staying well. BEST MOMENTS‘Nutrition is the powerhouse of the body,'‘Walth is not about money, it is about long-term wellness.'‘You can pay for a gym membership, however, if you don´t do the work... you're not going to get the results.'‘The people in your life now will dictate who you are in five years' time.EPISODE RESOURCESWebsite:https://planetwellness.co.uk/Email:hello@planetwellness.co.ukYouTube:https://www.youtube.com/c/PlanetWellnessYouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC7fRu8f-NzRCF91plWI5rwThe 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman - https://www.amazon.co.uk/5-Love-Languages-Gary-Chapman/dp/080241270X/The Psychology of Winning by Denis Witley - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Psychology-Winning-Qualities-Total-Winner/dp/B00NLL0HTY/The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason - https://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Richest-Man-in-Babylon/dp/B00DDHSVA8/ABOUT THE SHOWPeople with purpose make a difference. Imagine a world where more people can just get their purpose out of them, into a plan and then actually make it happen. What a world that would be - People everywhere finding meaning and harnessing that to bring inspiration and energy to each and every day, changing lives for the better. But no one ever achieved anything on their own - we all have something unique to bring and that means we all have to play our part - if we want to go far we have to go together and lead or serve towards a vision of the world we want to see. Everyone has a story to tell, and this show is where these stories come to life.ABOUT THE HOSTDavid Roberts is a highly regarded CEO, mentor, and investor with 30 years of experience across multiple sectors. As an intrapreneur and entrepreneur David has bought, grown, started and sold several businesses, working with values-driven start-ups, award-winning SMEs, and multinational corporations on strategies for service excellence, leadership, and profitable growth. David's passion is for purpose and creating an environment where everyone can succeed, through building teams that get things done, execute on their mission with passion, deliver exceptional service and really make a difference.ARTWORK CREDITPenny Roberts - https://www.instagram.com/penpennypencilsCONTACT METHODSLinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-roberts-nu-heat/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/DavidRobertsPeopleWithPurposeInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/davidcroberts_/Clubhouse - https://www.clubhouse.com/@davidcroberts?utm_medium=ch_profile&utm_campaign=MBv1ubya1-oOBXc_uQKFHw-46334See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Relationship တခုမှာ ကိုယ် ဘယ်လောက်ပဲကြိုးစား ကြိုးစား အရာမထင်ဖြစ်နေလား? ဒီစာအုပ်လေးကိုဖတ်ကြည့်ဖို့ ဖိတ်ခေါ်ပါတယ်

This episode is a little solo pow wow where I share why I am here, and what this podcast Inside Out means for me. Last week I put up a question box on instagram and received quite a few fun + personal questions which I answer in today's episode.If you enjoy today's episode please support me to support more women by leaving a quick written review on apple podcasts.For more wholesome content including weekly recipes, workouts, and all things wellness jump over to my website and leave your email.Fave Books as mentioned in today's episode:

Are you and your relationship better when you've made the time to connect and have some romance? Imagine if you embedded those moments of connection into every week with little rituals. They can be big or little things like a gesture or words shared in an intentional way. In thriving relationships these gestures can carry more meaning than just the action. Scott James Andrews is a peak performance business and life coach & the founder of The Confident Leader Academy. His 12 month flagship mastermind brings a refreshingly holistic approach of science, psychology and spirituality coupled with powerful step by step systems & strategies to help married men in business grow their income & their freedom without sacrificing their health, happiness and relationship using his CONFIDENT LEADER Method. We chat Creating romantic rituals within your relationship The difference between healthy and unhealthy rituals  How to quickly check in on how you are feeling about your relationship.  Better Relationships We empower couples to create thriving relationships so that they can play all out in life, set big goals and put plans in place to actually achieve them Better World Many research studies have shown that great relationships are associated with better health, greater happiness, and even a longer life. If more of us had thriving, healthy, happy romantic relationships, we know we would have a better world. That's why, every time someone works with us, via our partnership with Buy1Give1 we also help someone else in the world. Yep a stranger, someone you'll never meet. Connect with us Website - https://www.fuelcollective.com.au/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/thefuelcollective Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/thrivingcouples/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/fuel_collective Instagram - Date Forever - https://www.instagram.com/dateforever/ Instagram - Fuel Collective - https://www.instagram.com/fuel.collective/ Instagram - Nath - https://www.instagram.com/nathjaeger/ Instagram - Sammi - https://www.instagram.com/sammisomewhere/ Connect with Scott James Andrews Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/scottjamesandrews/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/scotty.andrews1 Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/stresstosuccess100/   Books mentioned- The 5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman

  The Pitch -- Opening  Set the Scene Two Great Commandments What is the whole point of your life? What is your mission and purpose? What is the most important thing for you to do?  Really think about that for a minute.  What is your ultimate goal on this planet as a Catholic man or woman?   All of us serious Catholics want to love God and neighbor.    36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” 37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets.” Matthew 22:36-40 Mitch and Sri CCSS  "Together, the two love Commandments sum up the Ten Commandments, three of which delineate our responsibilities toward God and seven of which concern our duties toward others."   Luke 10:25-28  25 And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 26 He said to him, “What is written in the law? How do you read?” 27 And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul [being], and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.” 28 And he said to him, “You have answered right; do this, and you will live.” Highest obligation of every person.   Romans 13:8-10  8 Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. 9 The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not kill, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this sentence, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 10 Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. The Hurdle -- a problem we're all facing. Simple, right?  But it's not that simple.  My Catholic Life   With this statement, Jesus gives a complete summary of the moral law found in the Ten Commandments.  The first three Commandments reveal that we must love God above all and with all our might.  The last six Commandments reveal that we must love our neighbor.  The moral law of God is as simple as fulfilling these two more general commandments. But is it all that simple?  Well, the answer is both “Yes” and “No.”  It's simple in the sense that God's will is not typically complex and difficult to comprehend.  Love is spelled out clearly in the Gospels and we are called to embrace a radical life of true love and charity. However, it can be considered difficult in that we are not only called to love, we are called to love with all our being.  We must give of ourselves completely and without reserve.  This is radical and requires that we hold nothing back. And that's the kicker -- to love God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind.  With all of us. Think about what that means.  Pablo Gadenz  CCSS Luke   "The idea is that the commandment to love God embraces every aspect of one's being."   Every fiber of our being, every last little bit of ourselves.   If we really think about this commandment -- what are the implications To love God in every internal experience -- every thought, emotion, body sensation, intention, impulse attitude, belief, assumption, every desire -- every internal phenomenological experience oriented toward loving God.   That requires harmony inside.   That requires interior integration for Catholics And Interior Integration for Catholics just happens to be the name of this podcast.  And this whole podcast is all about helping to you to get so much closer to loving God and neighbor and yourself with your whole heart, your whole soul, your whole strength and your whole mind, with all of you -- and that is the whole mission of our online outreach Souls and Hearts at soulsandhearts.com   Intro -- Welcome to Interior Integration for Catholics  I'm clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and I am here to help guide you toward  loving God, neighbor and yourself in an ordered, healthy, holy way.  And how do I do that? By focusing on your natural level impediments, your psychological obstacles to tolerated being loved and to loving God, neighbor and ourselves in the best ways possible  That is the mission of this podcast -- it's all about your human formation and what you need  on the natural level going forward in your life.   John the Baptist is the patron saint of this podcast because he prepared the way for the Lord.   I'm here to help you get ready by shoring up your natural foundation for the spiritual life  This is Episode 72, entitled What Keeps You from Loving?  Is it Really Only Your Vices?  (Spoiler Alert:  No!) Chess analogy -- so the two great Commandments are both simple and complex -- like chess.   One Level -- Chess is a simple game -- the rules are really clear and can be learned in five minutes, and the trickiest part of the rules is castling -- rook/king switcheroo thing.  Or maybe the en passant pawn capture.   On another level, chess is complex -- people spend their professional lives learning to play.  Grandmasters learning into old age.    Love Your Neighbor as yourself We are supposed to love ourselves   Command is not to love our neighbor more than ourselves Not because Jesus is lax:  Mt. 5:48 You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.   No one can love you in lieu of you.    Doesn't make sense if you think of a person has having monolithic, homogeneous personality -- no space for relationship there.   In order to love ourselves other and God, we need interior peace.   Fr. Jacques Phillipe:  Searching For and Maintaining Peace It is of the greatest importance that we strive to acquire an interior peace, the peace of our hearts.  p. 5  The more our soul is peaceful and tranquil, the more God is reflected in it, the more His image expresses itself in us, the more His grace acts through us.  p. 5  Quoting St. Seraphim of Sarov "Acquire interior peace and a multitude will find its salvation through you.  p. 8  p.11 Very frequently, spiritual combat consists precisely in this:  defending one's peace of heart against the enemy who attempts to steal it from us.  p. 12.  The first goal of spiritual combat, that toward which our efforts must above all else be directed, is not to always obtain a victory (over our temptations, our weaknesses, etc.), rather it is to learn to maintain peace of heart under all circumstances, even in the case of defeat.   p. 13  The reasons why we lose our peace are always bad reasons.   The reason for Catholic interested in mindfulness -- Greg Bottaro's books Recollection According to the Catholic Encyclopedia, “Recollection, as understood in respect to the spiritual life, means attention to the presence of God in the soul. It includes the withdrawal of the mind from external and earthly affairs in order to attend to God and Divine things.   Consequence of a lack of interior peace -- self-absorption Starving waiter syndrome  Burning castle analogy.   Spiritual approaches to peace -- Fr. Jacques Phillipe -- master of this.   Natural approaches to peace You can keep going on the way you are.  But what about adding the dimension of interior integration on a natural level  -- wouldn't that be fascinating.   Interior Integration Dimensions of Understanding Others or Ourselves.  0 Dimensions -- single point in space, -- geometry, no dimensionality.  Personalizing it -- you are nothing to me.   He who cut me off on the freeway. Bad to me.  Totally in orbit around me, no separate identity, not even really human.  1 Dimension -- line -- "Loser" to the person who cut you off on the freeway -- no depth, no dimensionality.  Only one quality -- loserliness.  Still very personalized.   2 Dimensions -- plane -- "Loser" or maybe a person who is having a bad day.   Less personal  Cardboard Cutout-- person has a shape, not well understood.   3 Dimensions -- taking into account the emotions, thoughts, body sensations, spiritual aspects, impulses, desires -- person on the way to the hospital More complete snapshot of a moment in time   Person has Personality style  Needs -- attachment needs and integrity needs  Emotions  Body sensation.   Belief.   Thought  Intentions  Desires  Attitudes  Impulses.  Interpersonal style  World view   4 Dimensions -- out of basic geometry now and into physics.  The four dimension is physics assesses an object's position in time.  Analogy to a person's position in time.  Dynamism of the person.  Can be one way in one moment and another way in another moment 5th Dimension --  Not the champagne souls band from the late 60s and early 70s with Marylin McCoo -- big Album Age of Aquarias.  No new agey stuff here.   dimension unseen by humans where the forces of gravity and electromagnetism unite to create a simple but graceful theory of the fundamental forces -- where electromagnetism and gravity unify ---  understanding the other person in terms of self and parts -- unity and multiplicity Part of him in a real hurry -- fears his wife will be angry at him if he is late again.  Self absorbed.   Part of him is fiddling with the radio to distract himself from the fear.   Not really about me at all.   6th Dimension -- no longer in just the natural world.   Seeing him as a Child of God through the eyes of Faith, as God sees him.   Requires supernatural grace Three Dimensional Chess Loving Others Wholly -- all their parts in their complexity. Understanding others Fr. Corapi  Jean Vanier of the L'Arche community.   Acceptance of reality.  Not endorsement.  Episode 66   Elements of love -- Benevolence, Capacity, and Constancy Benevolence -- bonae voluntatis in Latin, good will.   Capacity  Understanding the other Operating in the mode of the receiver  Dependent on us understanding ourselves  Mistaking what is coming from who  Unconscious   Capacity to choose the good -- Freedom.  Well-governed self Regulated  Organized  Calm. compassionate   Possessing virtues   Constancy.  Need peace and interior integration.   Review of the IFS model of a person  - real strength of IFS IFS person = self+parts+body  Self:  The core of the person, the center of the person.  This is who we sense ourselves to be in our best moments, and when our self is free, and unblended with any of our parts, it governs our whole being as an active, compassionate leader.   We want to be recollected, we want the self-governing all of our parts Like the conductor -- leading the musicians in an orchestra Like the captain -- leading and governing all the sailors on a ship.   When we are recollected, in self, 8 C's Calm  Curiosity  Compassion  Confidence  Courage  Clarity  Connectedness  Creativity  Kindness   Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God and also its own approach to sexuality.  Robert Falconer calls them insiders.   Each part has Personality style   Needs -- Episode 62 Attachment needs  Integrity needs   Emotions  Body sensation.   Belief.   Thought  Intentions  Desires  Attitudes  Impulses.  Interpersonal style  World view  Often have burdens   Parts have different attachment styles, different ways of connecting.   Parts have a different love languages -- Five different Love Languages -- Gary Chapman.   Words of affirmation Quality Time Acts of Service Gifts Physical Touch So many parts are hidden.  Consider themselves or are considered by other parts to be unacceptable, unlovable, unworthy, dangerous, harmful, inappropriate, or whatever.   I don't know myself when I don't know my parts. I don't know my neighbor when I don't know his or her parts.   I don't love myself when I don't love my parts I don't love my neighbor when I don't love his parts.   IFS turbocharging our understanding of parts, thus enabling us to love all our parts -- dark regions within us, unknown regions within us.  This frees us to love others much more completely, in all their parts.   Experiential Exercise --Increasing recollection, self energy,  Caveats. Quiet place.   8 Cs Calm  Curiosity  Compassion  Confidence  Courage  Clarity  Connectedness  Creativity  Kindness     Closing: Does this podcast really resonate with you?  Does it really make sense?  Do these experiential exercises  Do you want to be with likeminded Catholic who are serious about not only our Catholic Faith but also human formation -- who want to learn more about loving God, loving neighbor and loving self is a psychologically-minded way, drawing from the best of our understandings of the human person from both the spiritual and the natural worlds?  Resilient Catholic Community at Souls and Hearts, grew up around my podcast Integration for Catholics -- a place to do that -- registration is open each year in June and December soulsandhearts.com/rcc  If you are committed to this podcast, I want you to learn about the Resilient Catholics community.  Come with me, come with us -- we are pioneers together on this pilgrimage.  Come with us, join us on this adventure on this hard road to life.   Questions: Conversation hours -- 317.567.9594  -- email crisis@soulsandhearts.com.  Our community is small and personal.  I am looking forward to meeting you.  People are surprised when I answer the phone in conversation hours.   Go to soulsandhearts.com/rcc -- check out the community.  We are open for the month of June or until our 80 spaces are filled -- discerning.   Tune in next week -- Is Internal Family System Really Catholic?   Blurb for Transistor:  Dr. Peter goes right to the core of the Catholic life, our mission to love God and love neighbor and how those depend on us loving ourselves in an ordered way.  He discusses seven levels with six dimensions of understanding others, ranging along a continuum of developmental maturity and closes with an experiential exercise to help you discover why you lack interior peace.  

My wife & I have struggled w/our sex lives for the vast majority of our 25 year marriage.   She had abandonment issues which led her to become what's known as an Intimacy Anorexic. That's someone who has an addiction to avoid intimacy…& not just sexual intimacy, but even in social relationships & family relationships.    I had self-image, self-worth, low-EQ issues which led me to refrain from ever speaking up to ever share my thoughts on my desires or love languages.    Some of that was exacerbated by kathy's abandonment b/c she is also a Choleric Melancholy & has always been very confident in herself & has always known what she wants & doesn't want…for the most part.   So in the first couple years of our marriage, when I would express that my love languages were running low, she would roll her eyes, huff & puff a couple times & mockingly touch my arm or pat me on the head & say “is that enough?” “can I be done?”.   Well, after 2 years of that, I was done. And compound that w/all my own emotional dysfunction & insecurities, I stopped ever addressing how my love tanks were doing.    for those unfamiliar w/Love Languages (Gary Chapman):  Gifts Touch Acts of Service Words of Affirmation Quality Time   That “little” dynamic between the 2 of us: her deep abandonment issues (that she was completely unaware of at the time) & my emotional neediness, people-pleasing addiction, self-sabotage (I deserve the way she's treating me. I don't deserve to have my love languages spoken.) led to some massive train wrecks throughout the years.   But thankfully after 20 years of some deep relationship dysfunction, we started going to counseling & that began both of our emotional growth journey.   Podcast Monthly EQ Membership EQ Course EQ Leadership Consulting   Today, I got some really disturbing news from a dear friend of mine. He lost his 26 y/o daughter (& mother of a 2 y/o) to a drug overdose. I was wrecked.   Yesterday, prior to the troubling news, we had received some of the most exciting, overwhelming news we've ever received.   Needless to say, I woke up this morning w/LOTS of emotions.    I did a couple of my EQ exercises after my bible study.   Once I knew Kathy was awake, I went upstairs & told her I wanted to have our “NBC” (Naked Boardroom Chat) where we both get buck naked & just talk.    It's incredibly intimate, which I love, and it's still a bit uncomfortable for her, but I appreciate her obliging. I shared a bunch of my thoughts & emotions from a very rollercoaster 24 hours and we had an amazing conversation.    I then asked if she was open to continuing our NBC to the shower. That's the other spot we have our greatest, deepest chats b/c there's no distractions.    She agreed.   We had another amazing therapeutic conversation.   This time it led to sex, but it doesn't always lead to sex. It doesn't have to lead to sex. Personally I appreciate tremendously the intimacy.   I was so ridiculously proud of myself having the courage to address the desires of my heart to have intimate conversation, i.e.: “NBC”, & I'm so thankful that my wife was flexible & obliged.   It was so timely.    Who would've ever thought that after 25 years of marriage, our sex life could improve? I sure didn't think it was possible based on where we both came from emotionally. That's the power of emotional growth & emotional healing.   Unaddressed emotional issues don't get better over time; they actually compound.   Emotionally healthy people help heal other people emotionally.    Thank you for rating, reviewing, subscribing & sharing!   Books Mentioned: Personality Plus, by Florence Littauer StrengthsFinder2.0, by Tom Rath Becoming A King, by Morgan Snyder   If you'd like a scientific emotional intelligence assessment, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/training for more info. To get on the waiting list for our 8-week course teaching emotional intelligence, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa.       EQ Accelerator Course: https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa   FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR” https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide    TAKE THE TACO QUIZ: https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz   SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW: https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway   EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY: https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/    

Introduction  Very autobiographical today, I'm going to tell you a lot about me and the mistakes I've made and how those mistakes have brought me to do this episode.   I don't really like talking about myself -- not a lot of autobiographical material in previous episodes I especially don't like talking about myself all by myself in my little studio -- not being interviewed by a host -- the really Competent part of me thinks it's a little weird to be sharing details of my life and my struggles and my mistakes, not knowing who is listening because I haven't met most of you, those of you who are my listeners.  I've checked in with the different parts of me and they are all good with it, I have at least grudging acceptance of the idea.   I'm clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and I am here with you, to be your host and guide.   This podcast is called Interior Integration for Catholics, and it is part of Souls and Hearts our online outreach at soulsandhearts.com  which is all about shoring up our natural foundation for the Catholic spiritual life, all about overcoming psychological obstacles to being loved and to loving God and neighbor and ourselves.  We're getting into that much more deeply now.   This is episode 71, released on June 7, 2021, entitled A New and Better Way of Understanding Myself and Others.  -- Beginning a brief series of episodes that takes the great insights of Internal Family Systems approaches to understanding the human person on a natural level, and reconciles them with the eternal truths of the Catholic faith.   The Great Journey I could be considered "Highly successful" as a child and adolescent -- 4.0 GPA in High School, Valedictorian, Varsity letters in Track and Cross Country, I acted in high school musicals and plays, excelled in competitive solo-acting, was on the chess team, active in student government and I was a pretty good shot on the local pistol team --  I had a lot going for me.  I continued that success from Northwestern University, graduating with honors, traveling the world, living in Seville, Spain for a year, romping around Mexico one summer.   1991 -- brought to my knees -- 22 years old, just left a high-demand group Catholic group -- strong sense of having been manipulated and used, exploited.   Trying to figure out my own experience -- what just happened?  Why so many contradictory thoughts and feelings?  What was going on.   Either I made a mistake in joining that group or I made a mistake in leaving it.   Existential crisis -- A leader of the group told me that the founder once said that "he wouldn't give a nickel for the soul of any son who abandons his vocation the group."  For the true believer, there was no viable way out. Common reason for getting into psychology - there's something to the meme.   My models were not sufficient.  I was not satisfied with superficial reasons For why I felt the ways I did  For why I thought the ways I thought  For why I acted the ways I did.   In 1993, Began a Ph.D. program in clinical psychology -- the best that psychology had to offer.   The Hunt for a Unitary Personality We all want to understand ourselves 4 temperaments -- Encyclopedia Britannica:  Humoral theories:  2500 years ago.  Perhaps the oldest personality theory known is contained in the cosmological writings of the Greek philosopher and physiologist Empedocles and in related speculations of the physician Hippocrates. Empedocles' cosmic elements—air (with its associated qualities, warm and moist), earth (cold and dry), fire (warm and dry), and water (cold and moist)—were related to health and corresponded (in the above order) to Hippocrates' physical humours, which were associated with variations in temperament: blood (sanguine temperament), black bile (melancholic), yellow bile (choleric), and phlegm (phlegmatic). This theory, with its view that body chemistry determines temperament, has survived in some form for more than 2,500 years. According to these early theorists, emotional stability as well as general health depend on an appropriate balance among the four bodily humours; an excess of one may produce a particular bodily illness or an exaggerated personality trait. Thus, a person with an excess of blood would be expected to have a sanguine temperament—that is, to be optimistic, enthusiastic, and excitable. Too much black bile (dark blood perhaps mixed with other secretions) was believed to produce a melancholic temperament. An oversupply of yellow bile (secreted by the liver) would result in anger, irritability, and a “jaundiced” view of life. An abundance of phlegm (secreted in the respiratory passages) was alleged to make people stolid, apathetic, and undemonstrative.    | Humor  | Season  | Ages  | Element  | Organ  | Qualities  | Temperament  | Blood  | spring  | infancy  | air | liver | warm and moist  | sanguine | Yellow bile  | summer  | youth  | fire | gallbladder | warm and dry  | choleric | Black bile  | autumn  | adulthood  | earth | spleen | cold and dry  | melancholic | Phlegm  | winter  | old age  | water | brain/lungs | cold and moist  | phlegmatic Art and Laraine Bennett.  The Temperament God Gave you.    Freud  Desire for unity  Testing expert Layered Personalities, overlays -- trying to accommodate   Personality is supposed to be stable  Definition of personality Encyclopedia Britannica:   the study of personality focuses on classifying and explaining relatively stable human psychological characteristics.  VeryWellMind.com;  At its most basic, personality is the characteristic patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that make a person unique. It is believed that personality arises from within the individual and remains fairly consistent throughout life.  But DSM-5, PDM -- Borderline Personality Disorder -- not stable   We want predictability  In 2000 I was at a crossroad in life, about to finish my Ph.D. in clinical psychology and very much struggling to find a way to ground psychology in a Catholic worldview.  Very few resources were available and most of those were very limited.  I was considering leaving the field of psychology altogether, unconvinced that it had anything like the power it promised to bring about healing.  I could fall back on being an applied statistician, or I could retreat into behavioral medicine, but a voice kept saying, “There is a way.  Seek it.”  I trusted that voice, went deeper into my prayer life, and by God's grace, found a path.  Dietrich von Hildebrand (a 20th century Austrian phenomenologist), St. Teresa of Avila, and a protestant psychoanalyst came to help.  By bringing phenomenology, Carmelite writings on prayer, and psychoanalytic approaches to psychotherapy together, I was able to carve out the rudiments of a way of practicing that was both effective and conformable to the Catholic Faith.   In 2020, twenty years later, I found myself at another crossroads, and this time the challenge was to bring psychology and Catholicism together in the online universe in a way that could transform lives without psychotherapy by harnessing the power of a Catholic community.   Zoom, a networking platform and Internal Family Systems came together to make the seemingly impossible possible.  Because of COVID-19, my Catholic interpersonal process group had been meeting online quite effectively.  People were adapting to remote communication technology at a much faster rate.  As stress levels increased with the pandemic there was a huge need to shore up the natural foundation for the spiritual life.  The CCCD podcast I was doing to help Catholics through the pandemic was gaining a following – and the idea came to launch the RCCD community.  Internal Family Systems provides ways for non-therapists to be able to reach out powerfully and effectively to others in community in an attuned way.  IFS also provides an abundance of non-therapy ways of going inside and connecting inwardly.  And the path became clear – let's bring those helpful ways of connecting inwardly and outwardly to committed Catholics who want to be integrated, and who want to be loved and to love others.  Let's make a place where people can practice carrying out the Two Great Commandments, a living training ground to learn to be loved by ourselves and other and to love ourselves and others.    Review of the IFS model of a person Self:  The core of the person, the center of the person.  This is who we sense ourselves to be in our best moments, and when our self is free, and unblended with any of our parts, it governs our whole being as an active, compassionate leader.   We want to be recollected, we want the self governing all of our parts Like the conductor -- leading the musicians in an orchestra Like the captain -- leading and governing all the sailors on a ship.   When we are recollected, in self, 8 C's Calm  Curiousity  Compassion  Confidence  Courage  Clarity  Connectedness  Creativity  Kindness   Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God and also its own approach to sexuality.  Robert Falconer calls them insiders.   Parts have different attachment styles, different ways of connecting.   Parts have a different love languages -- Five different Love Languages -- Gary Chapman.   Words of affirmation Quality Time Acts of Service Gifts Physical Touch So many parts are hidden.  Consider themselves or are considered by other parts to be unacceptable, unlovable, unworthy, dangerous, harmful, inappropriate, or whatever.   I don't know ourselves when I don't know my parts. I don't know my neighbor when I don't know his or her parts.   Parts can shift abruptly.  They can shift abruptly during sexual intimacy between spouses.  Three roles Exiles --  most sensitive -- these exiles have been exploited, rejected, abandoned in external relationships They have suffered relational traumas or attachment injuries They hold the painful experiences that have been isolated from conscious awareness to protect the person from being overwhelmed with the intensity. They desperately want to be seen and known, to be safe and secure, to be comforted and soothed, to be cared for and loved They want rescue, redemption, healing And in the intensity of their needs and emotions, they threaten to take over and destabilize the person's whole being, the person's whole system And they threaten to harm external relationships Burdens they carry:  Shame, dependency, worthlessness, Fear/Terror, Grief/Loss, Loneliness, Neediness, Pain, lack of meaning or purpose, a sense of being unloved and unlovable, inadequate, abandoned,  Managers These are the proactive protector parts.  They work strategically, with forethought and planning to keep in control of situations and relationships to minimize the likelihood of you being hurt.  They work really hard to keep you safe.  controlling, striving, planning, caretaking, judging,  Can be pessimistic, self-critical, very demanding.   Firefighters When exiles break through and threaten to take over the system, like in Inside Out, remember the parts and the control panel?  So when these exiles are about the break out, the firefighters leap into action.  It's an emergency situation, a crisis, like a fire raging in a house.  No concern for niceties, for propriety, for etiquette, for little details like that.   Firefighter take bold, drastic actions to stifle, numb or distract from the intensity of the exile's experiences.   Intense neediness and grief are overwhelming us!  Emergency actions -- battle stations!   Evasive maneuvers, Arm the torpedoes, Full speed ahead!  No concern for consequences -- don't you get it, we are in a crisis,  All kinds of addictions -- alcohol use, binge eating, shopping, sleeping, dieting, excessive working or exercise, suicidal actions, self-harm, violence, dissociation, distractions, obsessions, compulsions, escapes into fantasy, and raging.   Parts can take over the person   Like in Pixar Movie Inside Out -- anger taking over the control panel of the main character Riley  We call it blending.   Introduction to my Parts  Former Exiles Feisty One (formerly my "angry part")  Adventurer (formerly my "part who holds fear")  Lover Part  Melancholio   Managers Competent Part  Good Boy  Evaluator (formerly "the Critic"   Firefighters Challenger (formerly "the Rebel"  Guardian (formerly "the Intimidator")  Creative Part   Parts in greater detail Feisty One (formerly my "angry part")  Adventurer (formerly my "part who holds fear")  Lover Part  Melancholio  Competent Part  Good Boy  Evaluator (formerly "the Critic"  Challenger (formerly "the Rebel"  Guardian (formerly "the Intimidator")  Creative Part   Elements Personality style  Emotions  Body sensation.   Belief.   Thought  Intentions  Desires  Attitudes  Impulses.  Interpersonal style  World view   My Parts' attitudes about this podcast episode Experiential Exercise -- discovering a part of you.  Caveats. Quiet place.   Closing: Resources:  Website ifs-institute.com    Book:  Introduction to the Internal Family Systems Model by Richard Schwartz 2001, Trailheads publications.   Podcast:  The One Inside -- Tammy Sollenberger Next episode all about Looking at IFS through Christian Lens.  Because IFS is open to spirituality, all kinds of variations exist.   Every practice of psychology and every program of human formation depends on Theology, Philosophy, Epistemology and metaphysics -- those compose the underlying anthropology What is anthropology  Mgsr Charles Pope:  Anthropology is, most simply, the science or study of human beings through time and space. Different specialties focus on the analysis of biological/physiological characteristics and the examination of societies/cultures. In the religious sense, anthropology deals with the origin, nature, and destiny of human beings.   Human formation is the lifelong process of natural development, aided by grace, by which a person integrates all aspects of his interior emotional, cognitive, relational, and bodily life, all of his natural faculties in an ordered way, conformed with right reason and natural law so that he is freed from natural impediments to trust God as His beloved child and to embrace God's love.  Then, in return, because he possesses himself, he can love God, neighbor and himself with all of his natural being in an ordered, intimate, personal, and mature way.   Pitch Do your human formation work.   The Fall in the Garden of Eden was devastating to our bodies -- death, pain, physical labor, pain in childbirth  In the same way, it was devasting to our psyches.   Examine your own human formation.  Do your human formation work.  Build that solid natural foundation.  Don't leave that to chance. Serious Catholics have  spiritual plan of life  Also a human formation plan -- your emotional life, your relational life, your thinking, your body issues.   And get some support doing that  Resilient Catholic Community at Souls and Hearts, grew up around my podcast Integration for Catholics -- a place to do that -- registration is open each year in June and December soulsandhearts.com/rcc     The best of psychology, the best of human formation all grounded in what we know to be true by divine revelation.   Parts Description Worksheet 3.0 Go to soulsandhearts.com/rcc -- check out the community.  We are open for the month of June or until our 80 spaces are filled -- discerning.   Members -- Second Wednesday Zoom Meeting -- June 9, 7:30 PM to 8:45 PM -- discussing companions and companies in the relaunched RCC Conversation hours -- 317.567.9594  -- email crisis@soulsandhearts.com 

Continually investing in ourselves and our own growth strengthens our understanding of ourselves but also our chosen person. As we grow and develop as individuals, we also learn new ways of connecting with each other. We chat with Rebecca & Ed Plant, Founders of The Business League, as a Wife and Husband team. They share about what it takes to maintain a thriving relationship while juggling, life, businesses, children and each other. We chat - navigating the challenges of the first few years together- the importance of continual personal development for your relationship- prioritising time as a couple even in our busy lives. Better Relationships We empower couples to create thriving relationships so that they can play all out in life, set big goals and put plans in place to actually achieve them Better World Many research studies have shown that great relationships are associated with better health, greater happiness, and even a longer life. If more of us had thriving, healthy, happy romantic relationships, we know we would have a better world. That's why, every time someone works with us, via our partnership with Buy1Give1 we also help someone else in the world. Yep a stranger, someone you'll never meet.   Connect with us Website - https://www.fuelcollective.com.au/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/thefuelcollective Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/thrivingcouples/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/fuel_collective Instagram - Date Forever - https://www.instagram.com/dateforever/ Instagram - Fuel Collective - https://www.instagram.com/fuel.collective/ Instagram - Nath - https://www.instagram.com/nathjaeger/ Instagram - Sammi - https://www.instagram.com/sammisomewhere/   Connect with Rebecca and Ed Instagram - Rebecca - https://www.instagram.com/rebeccaeplant/ Instagram - Ed - https://www.instagram.com/eddieplant/ Instagram - The Business League - https://www.instagram.com/thebusinessleagueaus/ Website - https://www.thebusinessleague.com.au/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheBusinessLeagueGC Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheBusinessLeagueConnectionHub   Books Mentioned The 5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman

“Intersectional identities are complex - even Asian identities in the queer community. How do we find space for that?” Steven Wakabayashi hosts “YELLOW GLITTER” - a podcast exploring the queer Asian experience. Steven’s thoughtful approach to life - and conversation - have created an amazing space for a community that is marginalized, not just in this country, about around the world. As we all know - neither the Asian or Queer communities are monolithes - with so many intersectional nuances that are often glossed over and not understood. You’ll enjoy this mindful exploration with Steven - about misunderstanding, fear, and most of all, love. LEARN ABOUT STEVEN stevenwakabayashi.com instagram.com/stevenwakabayashi twitter.com/wakuu Yellow Glitter (podcast): https://apple.co/3ba9yUx MENTIONS: BOOK: “The 5 Love Languages” (Gary Chapman): goodreads.com/book/show/23878688-the-5-love-languages BOOK: On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous (Ocean_Vuong): goodreads.com/author/show/4456871.Ocean_Vuong PERSON: Margaret Cho: MargaretCho.com

Many people think that marriage is the grave of love, and a lot of couples fight with each other or have marriage crises because of trivial things. But they are always close to each other when they are in love. So what turns these intimate relationships into ones ripe with conflict? This book will tell us why as well as discuss the primary reason why communication is so important, and how we can express love in proper ways. It also provides effective ways that will point us in the direction of how to resolve marriage crises.

Intro: Welcome to the podcast Interior Integration for Catholics  Interior Integration for Catholics brings to you in each episode the best psychological information essential for your human formation, knowledge that is fundamental in shoring up the natural foundation for your Catholic spiritual life.   This podcast helps you focus inward on your interior integration -- to help you bring together the different parts of yourself into unity and harmony with God in the natural realm. In this podcast, we confront the tough internal questions we Catholics have in our day-to-day lives, we confront head-on our struggles in the natural realm, the psychological difficulties that keep us from fully loving our Lord and our Lady in a deep, personal, intimate way and living out our vocations, including our vocation to Catholic marriage which necessarily brings in both sexuality and religion. And we're dealing with sexuality and religion in this episode for two primary reasons: first to free you to love God our Father, Jesus our Brother, the Holy Spirit and Our Mother Mary more and more over time and  Second, to love you neighbor as yourself -- And who is your neighbor?  If you are married, your first neighbor, your closest neighbor, the neighbor toward whom you have the most responsibilities is your spouse.  Because of your marriage vows.   I'm clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and I am here with you, to be your host and guide.   This podcast is part of Souls and Hearts, our online outreach at soulsandhearts.com, which is all about shoring up our natural foundation for the Catholic spiritual life, all about overcoming psychological obstacles to being loved and to loving God and neighbor. We are celebrating our one year anniversary.  First podcast launched March 20, 2020  Success The majority of podcasts don't make it to 14 episodes   Because of you Very niche audience  This one has risen to top 10% based on downloads  Tells me there is a hunger out there.    Gratitude  Appreciation  Your support increases my motivation.   This is episode 60, released on March 22, 2021 And it is titled: How Well Do You Really Know Your Spouse?   This is the 12th episode in our series on sexuality, the fourth in our subseries on sexuality in Catholic marriages  Continuing with the model of a Catholic Canopied Marriage Bed to illuminate what happens sexually in Catholic marriages.   Episode 58 -- I provided you with the model of a Catholic canopied marriage bed.   Remember this canopied marriage bed represents the sexual life of a married Catholic couple.   The floor -- The Presence of God and His Providence -- we started here in the last episode, episode 59 The four legs Leg 1 -- the husband's commitment to his own interior integration and his own human formation  Leg 2.  the wife's commitment to her own interior integration, her own human formation  Leg 3.  Understanding my own and my spouse's attachment needs and integrity needs    Leg 4.  Internal Family Systems Approaches to understanding myself and my spouse We are really exploring this leg first, in this podcast episode.   The frame and the box spring -- the firm, unwavering commitment of the husband his marriage vows and the wife to her marriage vows -- separately.  Independently The mattress  Empathetic attunement  Two pillows:  Self-acceptance and Spouse-acceptance  Bottom Sheet:  sexual attraction, the intensity of sexual passion Top Sheet:  Communication between the spouses The blankets:  human warmth, emotional connection Four Bedposts -- imagine two spiral intertwined, like the double-helix structure of DNA Mindset  Heartset  Bodyset  Soulset   The canopy and the curtains -- to protect privacy and propriety or to hide dysfunction, exploitation, even abuse.   The sham, the bedspread, and the bedskirt -- Used to cover up the real bed, give an impression of the state of married life to the world.   Review:  So we've only just begun with this metaphor.  Now starting in the next episode, we are going to walk step by step through all the elements of the Catholic marriage bed, through all the components of married Catholic sexual life.  We're going to cover all the bases slowly and thoroughly so that all components, all the pieces become clear.  We will look at what each part of the Catholic marriage bed looks like when it is healthy as well as what can go wrong with each part of the bed.   Just as important, how all the pieces of the marriage bed, healthy or unhealthy are related to each other, how they interconnect and how those elements of Catholic Married sexual life can change over time.   Over and over and over again, I have had Catholic couples in my office discussing their marital problems, their sexual problems. And over and over and over again, I come to the same conclusion -- Catholic couples who are married, 5, 15, 25, 40 years or more do not really know their spouses.   They know a lot about their spouses biographical details  They know a lot about behaviors their spouses do   But their internalized image of the spouse, their working model of the spouse is way off Very two dimensional  Very simplistic  Interpreted through our own filters and lenses   Lots of reasons for this and we'll get into them today.   So this episode is titled What You Don't Know About Your Spouse Can Hurt Both of You.   So get ready, prepare yourself for light bulbs to switch on and shine brightly as we explore new and much clearer ways of thinking about sexual life in Catholic marriages, grounded in the perennial teachings of the Catholic Church and informed by the best of psychology.  The Windup / the Hurdle -- What is our situation here.  Five Bold claims: You don't really know your spouse.   Your spouse doesn't really know you.   Your Father doesn't or didn't really know your mother  Your mother doesn't or didn't really know your father  And you don't really know you.   Not just talking about troubled marriages here.  Not just talking about Catholic marriages in general.  I'm also talking about those Catholic marriages that you admire.   In these days, very few people really deeply enter into the phenomenological world of anyone -- anyone else or even oneself.   Bold claims.  Explain yourself, Dr. Peter.  I don't know my wife? Not a nice thing to say  Not a comfortable thing to hear'  Maybe even a little insulting  Psalm 139:13-15 For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.  The Unconscious -- so much about ourselves that we don't understand  Old days of doing assessments -- 15 years, Taught it.   Expert in psychological testing Fitness for duty assessments -- Air traffic controllers Some people coming in to really understand themselves better Not understanding ourselves leads us to confusion and distortion in understanding others.  We don't understand ourselves because so much of us in unconscious, mysterious.   Prove it, Dr. Peter One question:   Used to ask it while having people looking at themselves in a full length mirror in my office.   Instead of Dr. Malinoski, the seminarians of one diocese nicknamed me Dr. Malinoscopy.   Who is your Spouse?  Beloved child of God, cherished by God, your Heavenly Father, tenderly loved by your Mother Mary,  part of Christ Himself in his Mystical Body, a partaker in God's divine nature?   We see these realities as through a veil -- I Corinthians 13:12 -- For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully, just as I also have been fully known.  I do not make the claim that I really know myself or my wife.  I thought I did.  I and I think I do better than most husbands know their wives, but that's not saying much.  Just a relative measure, not an absolute measure.   And this is a real problem Not knowing your spouse compromises your ability to love your spouse  Not knowing yourself compromises your ability to love yourself   Three elements of loving Benevolence -- willing the highest good for the other and being ready to sacrifice and suffer to bring about the other person's good   Capacity to Love -- your ability to love Spiritual formation -- virtues  Human formation Self-awareness  Empathetic attunement  Personal Development on the natural realm.   This is what I focus on in this podcast.  All about human formation.  Shoring up the natural foundation for loving God and loving neighbors.   Constancy -- not just one-off acts of charity, but holding a more and more consistent position of charity.  Possessing the virtue of charity toward the spouse.   And where does this ignorance of your spouse most clearly make itself known?  Where is the place where the lack of understanding between Catholic spouses most clearly revealed?  Where does the lack of self-awareness of each spouse and the lack of empathetic attunement between spouse most clearly broadcast itself?  Drumroll   In the Catholic marriage bed.  In the sexual relating of the spouses.   That's where you see it most clearly revealed.    Quiet desperation -- often wives Don't ask, don't tell Unspoken bitterness, resentment  Unmet needs, illusions   Shame Body Shame  Sense of unworthiness   No frame of reference Others miserable too.   Confusion Settling -- as good as it gets.   The Vision  Old option, the old way -- keep on the way you are going. Keep understanding yourself and your spouse in the same way, keep acting in the same way, keep the same pattern and dynamics, it's not likely that things are going to change for the better  Pray about it -- God can work miracles, right?  "O God, please help my sexual intimacy with my spouse improve…"  That's good.  But what if it's not enough -- what if God needs you to work on your sexual intimacy issues in the natural realm?  He won't intrude and work magic or miracles if parts of you want to keep the status quo, if there are parts of you that are resisting changing.   What if there were a new way to really understand both yourself and you better As a psychologist looked for ways to help married couples for the last two decades  Not just about relieving distress, but also about deepening the intimacy, deepening the relationship, including in the sexual realm  Not just as a psychologist, not just as a clinician, but also in my own marriage with Pam.   Introduction to Internal Family Systems Developed by Richard Schwartz   Discussion of Parts -- introduced parts in episode 49 Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent emotions, body sensations, intentions, typical thoughts and beliefs, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.   How can we separate personalities within us.  Dr. Peter, it sounds like you're saying that each of us has multiple personalities.  You're not saying I have multiple personalities, are you?  ] That's exactly what I'm saying.   Parts are like the different characters inside Riley, the star of the animated Pixar film "Inside Out"  -- remember that -- Anger (red), Sadness (blue), Joy (yellow), Disgust (green), Fear (purple) Remember how of those internal actors would take over the control panel within her and then she would act as if she were just that part of her?  So when anger took over, she would get into conflict with her father?   So we can see a part as a distinct mode of operating -- prominent emotions, body sensations, intentions, typical thoughts and beliefs, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.   example husband comes home from demanding management job in human resources at the end of the day, all day dealing with employee problems, and he tired, worn out, no patience, feeling put upon by the children.  Just wants peace and quiet and something to eat and to veg out.   Wife says to herself "My husband is in his 6:00 funk again."  That "funk" is a mode of operating.   The husband has been taken over by part, we would say he is blended a part.    That parts has a particular set emotions, body sensations, intentions, typical thoughts and beliefs, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Let's break it down. Emotions:  Irritation, frustration, annoyance  Body sensations:  Tense shoulders, slight headache  Belief: Relating with people is all about their problems and all about pressure from the executives about minimizing risk and liability.  Relationships are draining, costly.   Thought -- Wife wants to tell me about her day, which means telling me about all the problems with the kids and expecting me to help solve them.  Intentions -- wanting to get away from people, rest, recover, try to recharge batteries.   Desires:  To eat and to have the house quiet  Attitudes: Somebody owes me something for all that I do  Impulses:  To yell, to shut everybody up  Interpersonal style: Grouchy, cold, non-communicative, avoidant  World view:  Work your fingers to the bone, what do you get?  Bony fingers.  Bony fingers.   Husband is not always in that funk.  Often, after supper, after vegging a while, he can reemerge and be much more pleasant and relational, in an entirely different mode of operating with the kids.   Let's say the wife, in a very human way blends with a part of her in reaction to her husband's 6:00 funk.  Emotions:  She gets sad, sense of despair Body sensations:  Sinking feeling in her stomach, desire to curl up.   Belief: He doesn't really care about me.   Thought -- He's treating the kids too sternly, he's too inflexible.  It's one thing for him to be unkind to me, but doesn't he see how hard he is on the kids? Intentions:  I want us to be a happy family together.     Desires:  I want him to care for me and the kids.   Attitudes: Helplessness Impulses:  To give up, throw in the towel. Interpersonal style: Very cautious, walking on eggshells, tightly controlling emotional expression toward the husband.   World view: It sucks to be married to him.  He brings us all down.  We just have to take it.      Goal in Internal Family Systems:  Internal Integration.  Parts coming to together under the leadership of the core self Orchestra model   Get forced into extreme roles -- attachment injuries and relational traumas   Three roles Exiles --  most sensitive -- become injured or outraged.  Threatens the system, external relationships Exploited, rejected, abandoned in external relationships Want care and love, rescue, redemption shame.  Need for redemption  Managers Protective, strategic, controlling environment, keep things safe  Obsessions. Compulsions, reclusiveness, passivity, numbing. Panic attacks, somatic complaints, depressive episodes, hypervigiliance.   Firefighters Stifle, anesthetize, distract from feelings of exiles  No concern for consequences  Binge eating, drug/alcohol use, dissociation, sexual risk taking, cutting   Parts can take over the person Like in Pixar Movie Inside Out -- anger taking over the control panel of the main character Riley  We call it blending.   Parts can have a different love languages -- Five different Love Languages -- Gary Chapman.   Words of affirmation Quality Time Acts of Service Gifts Physical Touch Parts have different attachment styles, different ways of connecting.   Parts have different histories of sexual experiences  Parts have different reactions to sex and relationship issues  Parts can shift abruptly.  They can shift abruptly during sexual intimacy between spouses.  I don't know ourselves when I don't know my parts. St. Paul in Romans 7:15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.   I don't know my spouse when I don't know his or her parts.   So many parts are hidden.  Consider themselves or are considered by other parts to be unacceptable, unlovable, unworthy, dangerous, harmful, inappropriate, or whatever.   IFS on the Self -- (recorded) Self defined as the seat of consciousness  Self can be occluded or overwhelmed by parts  When self accepts and loves parts, those parts transform back into who they were meant to be  Self-led mind is self-righting.  self -- Active inner leader -- more than mindfulness   Parts find the relationship with the self very reassuring But to reap the benefits they have to unblend from and notice the self  This is frightening can challenging to parts  Agency in the parts -- parts are making decisions about unblending in IFS model   Intrinsic qualities of the self Curiosity  Compassion  Calm  Confidence  Courage  Clarity  Creativity  Connectedness  Kindness   The self can be easily occluded, obscured, hidden by protective parts who take over in response to fear, anger or shame General state for most people is to be quite blended  Leads to self-absorption   Goal is to have the core self be governing our parts during our relational and sexual intimacy, to have that recollection in the natural realm.   The Fine Print / Action Plan We will continue to work through sexual intimacy topics in this podcast -- see if your spouse will join you.  If your spouse has joined you, let me know!  I want to hear it -- crisis@soulsandhearts.com, text me at 317.567.9594.   Continue to identify your parts -- do you have a part that's like the 6:00 funk part from our example today?  What are your typical, identifiable modes of operating?  Write them down.  The next step is to start identifying the ones that are active when you are sexually intimate.  Keep drawing your bed and labeling it or use a picture of a canopied marriage bed.  You don't have to be a great artist -- but start drawing your own marriage bed, with your own insights, you own realizations.  Next episode will be all about illustrating how parts become active in sexual intimacy between partners -- we're going to go through examples of how that plays out to help you really grip on to the concepts.   More help:  Alison Cook, Kimberly Miller "Boundaries for Your Soul" Known Alison and Kimberly for years now in Christian IFS circles, beloved colleagues  First and only book I've ever reviewed on Amazon   Jenna Riemersma "Altogether You"  IFS grounded in a Christian Anthropology, wants that integration of IFS with Christianity.   Met Jenna earlier this month, in a meeting together Really wants to promote IFS   After meeting her, more excited to read her new book, came out late last year Resource page  https://jennariemersma.com/ Tammy Sollenberger:  The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcas‪t -- comes out weekly on Fridays.  Got to meet Tammy earlier this month as well.  Really committed to getting the basics of IFS across, making IFS more accessible to the general public, breaking down the concepts to make them easier to understand. Jay Earley's books -- more than a dozen books.  https://personal-growth-programs.com/  But it's hard to work on your parts without help -- cue the Resilient Catholic Community.   If this discussion of parts resonates with you -- what would it be like to be working on your human formation, your human development as a Catholic with other Catholics who have the same goals?  What would be like to form real relationships with other on the same path, to journey together?  Get on the waiting list for the RCC --  go to soulsandheart.com/rcc to sign up -- there's no obligation to join, but you will get all kinds of cool free stuff.   I have a special event just for people who are on the RCC waiting list  Our people on the waiting list have been so patient, I am so appreciative, so for those of you on the waiting list, you are all invited to a Zoom meeting  On Tuesday, April 6, 2021 from 7:30 PM to 8:45 PM Eastern time I will make a brief presentation about Catholicism, Sexuality and Parts  Then We will have an "Ask me anything" section to field your questions or comments and have a great discussion  Then I will discuss the Resilient Catholics Community -- the RCC focus on human formation, the monthly themes for the RCC, the membership benefits, our office hours, the weekly premium podcast exclusively for RCC members, our private app with discussion boards, subscription rates  Then we'll discuss what you are looking for in an online community and answer questions about the RCC community   You can also send me questions via email at crisis@soulsandhearts.com or via my cell at 317.567.9594   For current RCC members -- we have a premium episode coming out on Tuesday, March 23, 2021 IIC 60A Getting to Know the Parts Who Take Over During Sex Catholic therapists who listen -- a community just for you.  reopening the Interior Therapist Community.  Landing page soulsandhearts.com/itc   Unique opportunities to work on your formation as a therapist, and your formation as a human being.  As therapists, we often have parts that focus so much on other people, caring for others that there can be significant neglect of our own parts, our own systems, our own integration.  The Interior Therapist Community helps with that. Two slots open for Catholic Therapists in our Foundations Experiential Groups.  Go to soulsandhearts.com/itc to find out more.   IIC 60T What is Holding Me Back From More Deeply Understanding My Clients' Sexual Lives?  Subscribing to this podcast -- Spotify, Apple Podcasts, google play, amazon.  Share the Interior Integration for Catholics Podcast on social media -- sharing buttons are on our website at soulsandhearts.com/coronavirus-crisis  -- get your word out there, with your personal recommendation -- how these episodes have helped you.  Share them, let others know.  Feedback.  Let me know how these episodes are landing with you -- -- some of you already have.  Get in touch with me on my cell at 317.567.9594 or my email at crisis@soulsandhearts.com   IIC 60A Getting to Know the Parts Who Take Over During Sex IIC 60T What is Holding Me Back From More Deeply Understanding My Clients' Sexual Lives?  Blurb for Transistor:  Dr. Peter ask you how well you know yourself and how well you know your spouse.  He offers an Internal Family Systems approach to understanding both the multiplicity and the unity within us as we continue this series on sexuality and Catholic marriage.   Patronness and Patron   

Each love language is important. No one is better than the other or more important than the other. The most important this is  to keep each other's love tank full to capacity. what's important is living a life full of love.  The goal is to have an everlasting love correct? Then we need to learn our partner's love language as well as our own primary love language.  That is dope and it will help you create a much stronger bond in your relationship with your partner.  Get to know your partners love language by taking the  5-love language test together. The test is free just google the 5-love language love test.   If anything in this Podcast resonated with you and you want to continue the conversation please schedule a Coaching Session @ JSSelfcare.org. Let's connect on Instagram @jsselfcare. Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of use of the application or interpretation of the information presented in this podcast.

I want to cover a really important subject about how to talk to your partner about money. One of the hardest things about talking to your partner about money is the actual communication part of finances in order to start making some progress. In this episode: 4 Tips to Talk to Your Partner About Money BONUS 5th tip The 2 quizzes I recommend to understand more about your own specific relationship to money How understanding your own relationship to money helps you to have better money conversations & understand others around you How the messages you've heard and the beliefs you have around money affect the everyday decisions you make How you can harness your unconscious biases to have better money conversations   Resources: Join The Money Circle membership Book in a complimentary call to discuss how financial coaching can help you move from financial overwhelm to confidence and control.  Join Catherine’s Facebook Page and FREE Facebook Group My Website  My Online Courses – Investing for beginners from £1 My YouTube Channel  Connect with me on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook  My Money Personality quiz Five Love Languages quiz Book: The 5 Love Languages – Gary Chapman

5 Love Languages (Gary Chapman) terdiri dari: quality time, word of affirmation, act of service, physical touch, dan gift. Gagal paham apa bahasa cinta kita & pasangan bisa bikin konflik yang nggak perlu. Merasa kurang dicintai, padahal bahasa cintanya aja yang beda. Sayang banget kan?! Tapi ada bahasa cinta ke-6 yang relevan untuk hidup di jaman now. Apa itu? Gimana kita bisa mengkomuniksikan bahasa cinta kita ke pasangan? --- Amelia Devina (poet. speaker. counselor), founder dari Loveground, banyak dikenal lewat praktek past life regression, the art of self-compassion dan mindfulness meditation. Follow lewat IG @ameliadevina777 dan @loveground.co

Join our conversation as a husband and wife share their perspectives on personalities and how to grow as an extrovert or an introvert. Connect with Brandon and Amy Instagram Resources Mentioned in this Episode Free Enneagram Test (learn your type!) 5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman (learn your love language!)  Introverts in the Church: Finding Out Place in an Extroverted Culture Sensitive and Strong: A Guide for Highly Sensitive Persons and Those Who Love Them    

Marco Romero and his wife, Hillary, quit both their jobs at the end of 2015 to start their Real Estate Journey together. In January 2016 they started two Real Estate companies together: Hilco Homes and Bella Buyers. Hilco Homes is focused on wholesaling contracts, and now consists of a team of 11 people. With Bella Buyers they own 30 rental units - all using the power of Private Money. This year (2019) they made their first two two multi-family real estate purchases.Marco's first mentors were his parents, who taught him discipline and self-confidence, and since he's found many pseudo-mentors through reading biographies of great achievers and change-makers. His purpose in life and business is to be the best version of himself possible - we only get one life, why not make it the best life we can?BIG TAKE-AWAYS:Self-sabotage is the absence of a decisionEverything in your life is a reflection of yourself: how well are you doing?Success often requires sacrificeRECOMMENDED BOOKS:Rich Dad Poor Dad - Robert Kiyosaki (https://amzn.to/2PNWhsz)The 4-Hour Work Week - Tim Ferriss (https://amzn.to/2ZDZjU0)The 5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman (https://amzn.to/34nEMmd)Keystone Habits:Reflect consistently*Links: *Facebook.com/Macomello (Marco A Romero)Hilcohomes.consultingInstagram: @macomello

Marriage, love, spouse, husband, wife, healthy marriage, dr Gary Chapman, 5 love languages, words of affirmation, acts of service, recieving gifts, quality time, physical touch, level of faith, communicate, connect, quality of marriage, improve, recommended, book, amazon

Publish Date 5-20-19This is Part Three of our "Dad Episodes Series"... We've been wanting to record some episodes that would speak to and encourage our Dad Listeners.  So we thought what better way to connect with all the Dads in the audience than to have a bunch of Dads on the Podcast! So we recorded a conversation with four Dads who also happen to be really good friends. This part of the conversation the guys are talking about discovering their wives "love language" and how they use that knowledge in their marriages to love their Wives well.  We hope you enjoy the conversation and are encouraged too.The 5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman

As a follow-up to episode 12, "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, Melissa and Em try to determine Melissa's primary love language—plus discuss the term they hated from this book. They also revisit episode 5, "Designing Your Life" to check in on Em's progress with adding more play into her life.

Publish Date 4-29-19This is Part Two of our "Dad Episodes Series"... We've been wanting to record some episodes that would speak to and encourage our Dad Listeners.  So we thought what better way to connect with all the Dads in the audience than to have a bunch of Dads on the Podcast! So we recorded a conversation with four Dads who also happen to be really good friends. This part of the conversation touches on how kids changed their marriage, date night, finding a babysitter and more! We hope you enjoy the conversation and are encouraged too.The 5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman

In the #1 New York Times bestseller, "The 5 Love Languages," you’ll discover the secret that's transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether you’re single, or your relationship is flourishing or failing, Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with future partners or your significant other—starting today.

Book Recommendations: 5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman Make sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram @basiclatinapodcast and send your questions, comments and suggestions to basiclatinapodcast@gmail.com Stay Well & Take Care

BEE 36 – Sophia Antoine   Sophia Antoine, relationship coach, speaker and blogger at Sophia Antoine Coaching & Consulting. In this episode, Sophia tells us about how her marriage made her understand relationships in such a profound way, and how this motivated her to pursue a career as a relationship coach, all of this while raising two kids and working a 9 to 5.     Tools: www.canva.com   Books: The 5 Love Languages – Gary Chapman. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23878688-the-5-love-languages   Connect: ly/coachmesophia https://www.facebook.com/lifecoachsophia https://www.instagram.com/courageous_coach/ https://twitter.com/coach_sophiaa https://www.linkedin.com/in/coachsophiaantoine/

For more from our sponsor, go to www.risethecompany.com For more from Unleash Greatness with more episodes and free gift go to www.unleashg.com Today Jonathan talks about one of his favorite books, Gary Chapman's "The 5 Love Languages" Jonathan used to teach this material as part of his weekly live class and loves the content that covers how to fulfill the emotional needs of your friends, family, and loved ones.