Podcasts about his providence

God will make good come from evil in His Providence and in His timing.

I just kept praying, ' God, let my husband come home. Let my husband come home.' I have heard God's voice three times. This would be the first. ---------- Katrina—yes, spelled like the hurricane, and she'll tell you the personality matches—is a fiery force of faith navigating through one of life's messiest middle chapters. Unlike the usual Touched by Heaven story arc, this one doesn't wrap up with a pretty bow. At least, not yet. Katrina has heard ‘The Voice'—a man's voice, unmistakably divine—more than once in her life. And what He said once came true. But now? That same Voice is saying, “Trust me,” as her whirlwind marriage collapses in mere weeks. Is she a fool for trusting Him? Or is she ahead of the rest of us—because even without the arrival of the hoped for happy ending, she's found something deeper: daily conversations with God, trust in His Providence, and a peace that passes understanding. ---------- Come with us to Medjugorje:  https://www.ctscentral.net/travel-tours/60th-anniversary-pilgrimage-to-medugorje  ---------- Share Your Story If you have a Touched by Heaven moment that you would like to share with Trapper, please leave us a note at https://touchedbyheaven.net/contact Our listeners look forward to hearing about life-changing encounters and miraculous stories every week. Stay Informed Trapper sends out a weekly email. If you're not receiving it, and would like to stay in touch to get the bonus stories and other interesting content that will further fortify your faith. Join our email family by subscribing on https://trapperjackspeaks.com  Become a Patron We pray that our listeners and followers benefit from our podcasts and programs and develop a deeper personal relationship with God. We thank you for your prayers and for supporting our efforts by helping to cover the costs. Become a Patron and getting lots of fun extras. Please go to https://patreon.com/bfl to check out the details. More About Trapper Jack Visit Our Website: https://TrapperJackSpeaks.com Patreon Donation Link: https://www.patreon.com/bfl Purchase our Products ·       Talk Downloads: https://www.patreon.com/bfl/shop ·       CD Sales: Send inquiries to:  info@blindguymedia.com Join us on Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/TouchedByHeaven.TrapperJack Follow us on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/trapperjack/ Join us on X/Twitter: https://x.com/TrapperJack1  

Kolby Koloff, Nikita's youngest daughter, brings a young woman's perspective to It's Time to Man Up! She is now pursuing God's calling on her life as a singer/songwriter, but His Providence has been apparent all along ... From losing her twin brother before birth, to discovering her musical gifts at a young age, to being the sole tomboy of the Koloff sisters, and wrestling with how she views God. These days she's more on fire for Christ than ever!

The background to Ps 24 is the ascension of the Ark of the Covenant (God's earthly throne) to its rightful place in Jerusalem in a great procession, with much rejoicing (2Sam 6, 1Chron 13,15). It signified God arising to be enthroned in Jerusalem, His chosen dwelling place (Ps 132). The event's importance is reflected in the pomp & pageantry of Ps 24. This is a type of Christ's Ascension to sit on God's throne in the New Jerusalem & future ascension to sit on His earthly throne in Jerusalem. What gave significance to this event is the holiness of the Hill of the Lord (His dwelling place) and the King of Glory enthroned on the Ark. The question & answers in Ps 24 were part of the dramatic ceremony, enacted before the city gates. The answers affirm only the King of Glory is worthy to enter thru the Gates and ascend to His place on the holy Hill. Likewise, Christ alone (the King of Glory) is worthy to ascend into Heaven, but He did it for us, so that in Christ, we also can ascend into God's holy Presence in Heaven. Ps 24 is in 3 parts: *(1) The Sovereign Creator, who owns all things (v1-2). *(2) The Heavenly Temple – the requirements for Ascension (v3-6), how can a man know such a high God, stand before Him & receive His blessing? Perfection is required, which is a problem for us. *(3) The true Redeemer – the King of Glory (v7-10). God became a man, and made a way to bring men to God. *PART 1. The Truth about God (v1-2): "The earth is the Lord's, and all its fullness (expanded in next line), the world and those who dwell therein (its produce and people)" (v1). This is quoted x2 in 1Cor 10:25-28 (see Ps 50:10-11). WHY does it all belong to Him? He is its Maker & Manager: "For He has (1) founded it on the seas (Maker, Gen 1:2,9,10, 2Pet 3:5), and (2) established it on the waters (rivers, symbolic of His Providence)" (v2). ‘Established' (imperfect tense) speaks of His ongoing management of the earth. He's the rightful Owner of all things. We are just tenant possessors of the earth & stewards of God's resources, for which we'll give account. Our life is not for us to do with as we please. God's authority is absolute over all, He has the right to do whatever He wants with us & the world. When we see this, it humbles us. The big question we must ask is: "How can I be right with God?" This seems impossible due to the infinite gap between us as sinful creatures & the holy God. Holiness is represented by height, so God is high above us (Is 57:15, 55:8). For man to be right with God & commune with Him requires us to ascend, but how is this possible? This is what David asks in PART 2: God's requirements for Ascension (v3-6): "Who may ASCEND the Hill of the Lord? (Heavenly Jerusalem) or STAND in His Holy Place?" (v3). The answer, the moral requirements for ascension, is given in v4: "(1) He who has clean hands & (2) a pure heart" (v4a). Here Hebrew parallelism works like stereo vision to give a full 3D picture, emphasising both his (1) outward actions & (2) inward attitudes & motives must be pure & perfect. This is followed by another parallelism emphasising (1) perfect holiness & (2) perfect righteousness: "(1) who has not lifted up his soul to an idol, nor (2) sworn deceitfully" (v4b). These represent the (1) God-ward requirement of true worship, free from idolatry, and (2) man-ward requirement of integrity, being a person of our word (no lies, deception or bearing false witness). 'Idol' also means vanity (that which is hollow). Rather than finding meaning, comfort & identity in the Creator, man seeks it in the creation, superficial things, even things with no reality, that don't ring true & against nature (like gender ideology). Thus, God requires perfection (Matt 5:48), but all sin (only Jesus fulfils these requirements), so what hope have we? But v5 says God provides a way for men to be saved and be made righteous by grace: "He shall receive blessing from the Lord (as a free-gift), and righteousness from the God of his salvation (enabling him to ascend)" (v5). These ones who ascend to God, not by their own righteousness, but by His grace, are described as God-seekers: "This is Jacob, the generation (the group of people) of those who SEEK Him, who SEEK Your face. Selah" (v6). They want to know Him & be right with Him. He promises they will find Him (Deut 4:29, Jer 29:13, Matt 7:7-8). David uses Jacob to represent those who are imperfect, but seek God (Gen 32:9-12), whom He brings to Himself by a process of coming to saving faith, when they come to an end of themselves & their own strength, knowing they can't stand before God on their own, and so cling to Him for blessing (Gen 32:24-29). So, to ascend to God requires a perfect righteousness, which God graciously gives to those who seek Him. How He made salvation possible, solving our sin-problem is revealed in PART 3: The King of Glory (v7-10), which describes the Ascension of Christ, the righteous Man, the King of glory - the subject of the next study.

The background to Ps 24 is the ascension of the Ark of the Covenant (God's earthly throne) to its rightful place in Jerusalem in a great procession, with much rejoicing (2Sam 6, 1Chron 13,15). It signified God arising to be enthroned in Jerusalem, His chosen dwelling place (Ps 132). The event's importance is reflected in the pomp & pageantry of Ps 24. This is a type of Christ's Ascension to sit on God's throne in the New Jerusalem & future ascension to sit on His earthly throne in Jerusalem. What gave significance to this event is the holiness of the Hill of the Lord (His dwelling place) and the King of Glory enthroned on the Ark. The question & answers in Ps 24 were part of the dramatic ceremony, enacted before the city gates. The answers affirm only the King of Glory is worthy to enter thru the Gates and ascend to His place on the holy Hill. Likewise, Christ alone (the King of Glory) is worthy to ascend into Heaven, but He did it for us, so that in Christ, we also can ascend into God's holy Presence in Heaven. Ps 24 is in 3 parts: *(1) The Sovereign Creator, who owns all things (v1-2). *(2) The Heavenly Temple – the requirements for Ascension (v3-6), how can a man know such a high God, stand before Him & receive His blessing? Perfection is required, which is a problem for us. *(3) The true Redeemer – the King of Glory (v7-10). God became a man, and made a way to bring men to God. *PART 1. The Truth about God (v1-2): "The earth is the Lord's, and all its fullness (expanded in next line), the world and those who dwell therein (its produce and people)" (v1). This is quoted x2 in 1Cor 10:25-28 (see Ps 50:10-11). WHY does it all belong to Him? He is its Maker & Manager: "For He has (1) founded it on the seas (Maker, Gen 1:2,9,10, 2Pet 3:5), and (2) established it on the waters (rivers, symbolic of His Providence)" (v2). ‘Established' (imperfect tense) speaks of His ongoing management of the earth. He's the rightful Owner of all things. We are just tenant possessors of the earth & stewards of God's resources, for which we'll give account. Our life is not for us to do with as we please. God's authority is absolute over all, He has the right to do whatever He wants with us & the world. When we see this, it humbles us. The big question we must ask is: "How can I be right with God?" This seems impossible due to the infinite gap between us as sinful creatures & the holy God. Holiness is represented by height, so God is high above us (Is 57:15, 55:8). For man to be right with God & commune with Him requires us to ascend, but how is this possible? This is what David asks in PART 2: God's requirements for Ascension (v3-6): "Who may ASCEND the Hill of the Lord? (Heavenly Jerusalem) or STAND in His Holy Place?" (v3). The answer, the moral requirements for ascension, is given in v4: "(1) He who has clean hands & (2) a pure heart" (v4a). Here Hebrew parallelism works like stereo vision to give a full 3D picture, emphasising both his (1) outward actions & (2) inward attitudes & motives must be pure & perfect. This is followed by another parallelism emphasising (1) perfect holiness & (2) perfect righteousness: "(1) who has not lifted up his soul to an idol, nor (2) sworn deceitfully" (v4b). These represent the (1) God-ward requirement of true worship, free from idolatry, and (2) man-ward requirement of integrity, being a person of our word (no lies, deception or bearing false witness). 'Idol' also means vanity (that which is hollow). Rather than finding meaning, comfort & identity in the Creator, man seeks it in the creation, superficial things, even things with no reality, that don't ring true & against nature (like gender ideology). Thus, God requires perfection (Matt 5:48), but all sin (only Jesus fulfils these requirements), so what hope have we? But v5 says God provides a way for men to be saved and be made righteous by grace: "He shall receive blessing from the Lord (as a free-gift), and righteousness from the God of his salvation (enabling him to ascend)" (v5). These ones who ascend to God, not by their own righteousness, but by His grace, are described as God-seekers: "This is Jacob, the generation (the group of people) of those who SEEK Him, who SEEK Your face. Selah" (v6). They want to know Him & be right with Him. He promises they will find Him (Deut 4:29, Jer 29:13, Matt 7:7-8). David uses Jacob to represent those who are imperfect, but seek God (Gen 32:9-12), whom He brings to Himself by a process of coming to saving faith, when they come to an end of themselves & their own strength, knowing they can't stand before God on their own, and so cling to Him for blessing (Gen 32:24-29). So, to ascend to God requires a perfect righteousness, which God graciously gives to those who seek Him. How He made salvation possible, solving our sin-problem is revealed in PART 3: The King of Glory (v7-10), which describes the Ascension of Christ, the righteous Man, the King of glory - the subject of the next study.

Our Lord was very clear with His followers about the difficulties in following Him. However, He assures us of His Providence. All He asks is that we trust Him and persevere with Him.

Rabash. Record 72. Concealed and Revealed in His Providence

Pete continues our sermon series in Esther with a message on Esther 6 God in His Providence. SCRIPTURE: Esther 6-1-14

Fr. Roger J. Landry Triumph of the Cross/Holy Rosary Parish, Steubenville, Ohio Saturday of the Eleventh Week in Ordinary Time, Year II Memorial of St. Thomas More and St. John Fisher, Martyrs June 22, 2024 2 Chron 24:17-25, Ps 89, Mt 6: 24-34   To listen to an audio recording of today’s homily, please click […] The post Serving Our True Master with Trust in His Providence, 11th Saturday (II), June 22, 2024 appeared first on Catholic Preaching.

A new MP3 sermon from Associated Presbyterian Churches is now available on SermonAudio with the following details: Title: God's Fatherly Prayer in His Providence Subtitle: Acts Speaker: John C. A. Ferguson Broadcaster: Associated Presbyterian Churches Event: Special Meeting Date: 1/1/2024 Bible: Acts 2:22-24; Acts 4:27-28 Length: 31 min.

Georgetown vs. Butler College Basketball Pick Prediction 12/19/2023 by Tony T. Georgetown at Butler 6:30PM ET—Ed Cooley has taken over as head coach for Georgetown. The Hoyas have been strong on the offensive glass and hit 37.1% from three. His Providence teams were good from three. The Hoyas defend the perimeter. The Bulldogs are weak on the offensive glass and convert only 34.2% from three. This is a newly assembled roster as they sit 347th in minutes continuity and they don't go very deep into their bench. Away from home the Hoyas hold opponents to 42% shooting. Play Georgetown +10.5.

It is a curious thing to be humbled by hearing a saint speak about humility. Yet, this is what happens. In and of itself, it reveals to us how far the human heart can be from grasping not only the nature of the virtue but what God has revealed to us in his only begotten Son.  The Incarnation manifests to us this virtue in its full glory. The word of God, through whom all things have been created, becomes an infant, (infans), that is, “wordless one”. God draws back the veil in order that we might see and comprehend for ourselves the depth of His love and also the life and virtue that we are to embrace as those made in his image and likeness. To embrace Holy Humility, the very life of God, means to let go of our attachment to the things of this world or good deeds accomplished by our own hands. We begin to comprehend with greater clarity and firmness that all is Grace.  To acknowledge this is to die to self and sin; it is, as John describes it, “reposing securely in the casket of modesty”. The humble heart becomes impervious and unmovable to the demons. As a quality of the Divine, it is not something that we can gauge in its perfection. John, however, works to help us understand its distinguishing characteristics.  One is struck by the fact that the humility of beginners is as different and distinct from the humility of the perfect as yeast and flour are from bread.  Purified by the fire of God‘s love it is freed from all of pride. This is something only God can reveal to us.  God reveals himself to us in and through the gift of faith. We cannot approach him or the truth that he reveals with a consumerists mentality or seek to dissect these realities as we do with so many things in this world.  It is His light that reveals the depths of the human heart and it is His Spirit of Truth that draws us in the very depths of God. --- Text of chat during the group: 00:05:33 FrDavid Abernethy: page 181 number 4   00:09:25 David Swiderski: Have you heard about the Holy Resurrection Monestary in Wisconsin. They offer retreats but I just was wondering if they are worthwhile?   00:10:17 Jake: I was there for 3 days, it was a great retreat   00:14:07 Cindy Moran: Antiochian village?   00:36:57 Sharon Fisher: How does one try to take this step if a spouse or close friend doesn't welcome the transformation we intend to make? You can't just cut them off; you can be sincere in faith and not burden them with it until they see the (positive) change?   00:37:40 Carol: this discussion reminds me of Isadora from Evergetinos   00:38:32 Carol: and the indignities she embraced   00:38:58 Daniel Allen: It's startling that the beginning is acceptance of indignity, I tend to see that as the end - or the perfected state. Yet, John says it is the first property. And that's something.   00:39:52 Suzanne: Why is it that as long as we are alone with God at home, we maintain peace of soul and continuous prayer, but as soon as we get into conversations with others, our restraint goes out the window? For example, I got sucked into a discussion about politics earlier today, and I was unable to detect and prevent anger from arising inside me - ultimately my words took on an angry tone, and I said words I now regret. It's like all I accomplished this morning with God was stolen from me. Basically, when tested, I fail.   00:40:38 Jeff O.: Reacted to "It's startling that ..." with

Granger Smith is a country music star, bestselling author, and bereaved father. We had an incredible Friday Conversation about the massive trauma of losing a child, and how those major losses can wreck our lives. His story is one of hitting rock bottom, learning to surrender, and finding his faith and the path forward to hope again. Granger's story is told beautifully in his new book, Like a River. Check out Granger's apparel company, YeeYee!Music by Granger Smith(Music shared on The Dr. Lee Warren Podcast is authorized under BMI license #61063253 and ASCAP license #400010513 )Support and boost your immune system with Armra! Use DRLEEWARREN code at checkout for a discount!Improve your gut health, immune system, and protect your brain with Pique!PLEASE SUBSCRIBE to the show wherever you listen!Click here to access the Hope Is the First Dose playlist of hopeful, healing songs!Be sure to check out my new book, Hope Is the First Dose!Here's a free 5-day Bible study on YouVersion/BibleApp based on my new book!Sign up for my weekly Self-Brain Surgery Newsletter here! (00:15) - Granger Smith's Journey of Faith and Strength after Loss (02:23) - Self Brain Surgery School: Changing Your Mind to Change Your Life (03:27) - Introducing Granger Smith and his book "Like a River" (06:54) - Grieving and the Pervasive Trauma (10:00) - Therapy: A Natural Progression but Not a Complete Solution (12:53) - The Breaking Point: Realizing Nothing Was Working (13:15) - A Desperate Moment: Death or Intervention (14:34) - A Christian upbringing but lacking in spiritual fruit (19:25) - Discovering the true meaning of being a Christian through Scripture (23:54) - Finding Faith through Old Sermons (27:22) - Finding Peace in Not Knowing the Truth (28:14) - The Nature of God and His Providence (38:00) - Finding Healing Through Sharing Loss and Grief Stories (40:17) - Connecting with Granger Smith and Words of Encouragement for Grief (42:48) - God's Mercy and the Imperfection of Humanity (44:42) - Thanksgiving Conversation with Grainger, Book Giveaway Announcement (49:16) - Introducing Dr. Lee Warren's new book, "Hope is the First Dose"

Putting the Pieces Together1. My People.naomi had a relative on her husband's side, a man of standing from the clan of Elimelek, whose name was Boaz... So Ruth went out to gather grain behind the harvesters. And as it happened, she found herself working in a field that belonged to Boaz, the relative of her father-in-law, Elimelech. Ruth 2:1,3 NLT2. God's Providence.Providence of God: when God uses natural circumstances to bring about His supernatural plansAnd we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28If you Start working for God, His Providence starts working for youOne day Ruth's mother-in-law Naomi said to her, “My daughter, I must find a home for you, where you will be well provided for. 2 Now Boaz ... is a relative of ours. Tonight he will be winnowing barley on the threshing floor. Ruth 3:1-23. Strategic Proximity.Wash, put on perfume, and get dressed in your best clothes. Then go down to the threshing floor, but don't let him know you are there until he has finished eating and drinking. When he lies down, note the place where he is lying. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down. He will tell you what to do.” “I will do whatever you say,” Ruth answered. So she went down to the threshing floor and did everything her mother-in-law told her to do. Ruth 3:4-6When Boaz had finished eating and drinking and was in good spirits, he went over to lie down at the far end of the grain pile. Ruth approached quietly, uncovered his feet and lay down. In the middle of the night something startled the man; he turned—and there was a woman lying at his feet! “Who are you?” he asked. “I am your servant Ruth,” she said. “Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a guardian-redeemer of our family.” Ruth 3:7-9Guar/Kins-Redeemer—A relative who had the responsibility and privilege to provide for a family member in time of need.Even if you don't get it right, God can still make it right.Discussion questions:Read Ruth 3:1-9. What stands out to you in this passage? What do you think empowered Ruth to take this kind of initiativeWhat qualities or habits do you see in Ruth and Boaz as they're honoring God with their lives? Do you know someone with similar qualities?As we navigate different seasons of life, we won't always get it right. Share about a time when you didn't make the best choice, but God still made it right. What did you learn about Him through that experience?Sometimes God wants us to go after what we want. Is He calling you to take a step of faith and go after something? Talk about that with your Small Group.

Guest: Shea Sumlin, Lead Teaching Pastor, Northway Church, Dallas, TX   Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labor of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. Habakkuk 3:17-18   So many in our generation are averse to suffering. But suffering is coming. What can you do to best prepare for suffering and learn from the hardships you're going through?   “Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” C.S. Lewis   When suffering comes, rest on these Biblical principles: God's Promises to His people that He will work out all things for the good of His people God's Providence that demonstrate that He is in control of all things God's Presence that He will never leave you or forsake you   Generations: The Real Differences between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers, and Silents - and What They Mean for America's Future by Jean M. Twenge, Ph.D.   Precious Remedies Against Satan's Devices by Thomas Brooks   One of the purposes of suffering is that you'll be able to take the comfort that God has shown you and share that with others going through difficult times. Read 2 Corinthians 1 for more on this.   How to best prepare for suffering: Get in the Word so that you can draw close to God and gain an eternal perspective on things Build deep Christ-centered community Prayerfully seek God and His Promises, His Providence, and His Presence in the midst of tough times.   T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website. Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

Self-esteem . . . how the meaning of that has changed over the generations. And when it becomes abstracted from our relationship with God, when our self-identity, purpose, and meaning becomes unmoored from He who created us, self-esteem can become the most grotesque of the vices. It will not only diminish our virtues, but destroy them completely.  When the sweat and the toil of the spiritual life is turned back on the self or when ascetical practices become ends in themselves, they lose all value. Christ himself warns us about this in the Gospel. “If you fast in order that others see that you are fasting, then you have your reward.“ In other words, we have our payment in full. We see ourselves, and others see us as self-disciplined, but that is as far as the labor takes us.  In this sense we become the most pitiable of all men, because we are acting as if there is no resurrection. If the things we do in this world, including religious things, are done for ourselves and to build up our own egos then they will eventually turn to dust. The love that has been revealed to us is self-emptying.  In our day to hold fast to such an understanding can only seem absurd for in no way does it fit with the wisdom of the world. Only by keeping our eyes fixed upon God and fixed upon Jesus Christ and him crucified do we let go of the illusion not only of being the self-made man, but the self-made Christian. Religious people are not in capable of having their own delusions. In fact, the delusion of being religious can be the greatest among them and the most difficult to overcome. It is only when the cross is firmly rooted in the mind and the heart and when we have allowed ourselves to be humbled by it do we then become free; free, not for ourselves or to serve ourselves, but free to love others and God.  --- Text of chat during the group: 00:05:12 FrDavid Abernethy: page 165 beginning Step 22 on Vainglory   00:29:13 Anthony: Should we be looking at our works this way? I had thoughtbit was a heresy to believe that any thing we do, even every good thing, is infected with sin.   00:39:14 David Swiderski: Are the references to Fulton Sheen from Treasure in Clay?   00:39:44 Louise: Can we say that vain glory is present as soon as we identify with something, anything?   00:40:55 Louise: What inner attitude could counter vain glory? Maybe vulnerability, fortitude, and yet a complete dependency on God.   00:43:49 Fr Marty, ND, 480-292-3381: I suffer the vainglory of fantasizing about meeting with someone or doing something in the future that will bring someone   00:44:07 Fr Marty, ND, 480-292-3381: someone's conversion and blessing.   00:55:09 Anthony: That was a very uncomfortable movie.   00:59:44 Ashley Kaschl: Father, you posted something this week by Evely that has really stuck with me, “…whereas you were trying to use even your first move of confidence towards God in order not to entrust yourself truly to Him, but to try to make him enter into your plans, like a pawn, like a pawn on your chess board. It is only when you accepted to be a pawn in his hand and in his plan, that you liberated your hope and his action."    I think this relates to paragraphs 6 and 11 because, in the same way, the believing idolater or the flatterer uses God, and manipulates every good, as a means to their own end, for their own glory. I'm reminded of St. John Paul II saying, to a friend who asked him why God would let him suffer an assassination attempt and being shot that, “there is nothing better than to be a tool in the hand of God.” I think the vainglorious seeks control and betrays God for human honor or a perception of strength, and would rather put on airs than be changed internally, than to be docile to the will of God.   01:05:17 Maureen Cunningham: What the difference between Praise and Flattery   01:14:32 Kate: When one looks back and sees how much one has done not for God but for self, it can be very painful realization.  Yet what is so amazing is that God in His Providence was still very much at work during those times even when we were not seeking first His Kingdom.   01:14:37 David Swiderski: There is a tradition in my family with my grandfather, father and I try. When someone thanks them they say - don't thank me, thank God I am able.   01:14:53 Ashley Kaschl: Reacted to "When one looks back …" with ❤️   01:15:10 sue and mark: Reacted to "When one looks back ..." with ❤️   01:15:14 Ashley Kaschl: Reacted to "There is a tradition…" with ❤️   01:15:32 sue and mark: Reacted to "There is a tradition..." with ❤️   01:16:17 David Swiderski: It seems to help to realize nothing is inherent in you but flows from God.   01:19:24 Maureen Cunningham: Blessing thank you   01:19:30 Cindy Moran: Thank you Father   01:19:31 sharonfisher: And with your spirit. Thanks!   01:19:32 David Swiderski: Thank you father!   01:19:34 Ambrose Little, OP: Gracias!   01:19:37 sue and mark: Thank you FR. Abernethy   01:19:39 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you

After 15 years of marriage with no children, Chris & Rachel suddenly became parents of twins! Find out how sleep training was key to their finding a new routine, and how a stuffed bear not only helped Rachel through her fear of needles but will endure as a sentimental keepsake for their kids. All that, and the role their faith played, in this episode of The Embryo Adoption Podcast. Rate, review, and subscribe to The Embryo Adoption Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts...FULL TRANSCRIPT (Please note there may be spelling, grammatical, and factual errors as this transcript was generated by AI.)  00:00 Mark MellingerIt's a great story of faith amid infertility. And finally, answer in embryo adoption. I'm Mark Mellinger, your host, and this is the embryo adoption podcast brought to you by the National Embryo Donation Center. You can find out more about us at Embryodonation.org. Chris and Rachel Chumita are with me today, and they are joined by their twins. You can see that if you're watching the video version. Ezekiel and Elizabeth. They're about seven months old as we record this, and they are cute as a button family. It's great to see you.  00:36 Rachel Chumita Good to be here.  00:38 Mark Mellinger I love it. And your kids are being so good. We'll see if that continues throughout the whole episode. It may not, and if it doesn't, that's okay. I will try not to keep you too long. I love that you have a shared faith now, but you actually didn't when you got married. Can you two walk me through how that happened?  01:00 Rachel Chumita Sure. I was raised in a Protestant church. Chris was raised in a different faith that he wasn't neither of us actually were believers, although I kind of had a more solid upbringing, if you will, in terms of Christianity and my background. I knew that Jesus was the only way to heaven. But I, again, wasn't a believer. Over the years, I'd ask Chris, over time, you do know that Jesus is the only way to heaven? He'd be like, no, I don't think so. Just one day, God got a hold of my heart, and I just prayed that he would lead us to a church where I would come to really know him and where Chris would come to know him. God answered that prayer and he led us to a church through his providence and where we did both become Christians. Short story.  02:07 Mark Mellinger It's an amazing story, and I should say at the outset, you guys have been married I'm not telling you this, but I'm telling our audience. You've been married for a long time. I mean, you were married for 15 years before you had your children, so it was a long road. How do you think being Christians affected the way that you navigated infertility?  02:31 Chris Chumita I think it helped quite a bit, because when were first married, I have neurofibromatosis, which is a hereditary condition, and since we had no faith in God or in his providence, we decided to have vasectomy very early on in our marriage. After we became Christians, believing in God and His Providence, we decided to have it reversed, and it was considered successful. But then we just couldn't get pregnant. All the tests, the ones we did, just came back. If there's no reason, you're not. We just kind of relied as much as we could on Romans 828 and just went on from there.  03:07 Mark Mellinger Yeah. All things work together for those who love God as Romans 828. Most of our audience would know that. Just in case you don't and that doesn't always mean necessarily in the here and now. It may mean in eternity. So at least we have that comfort. How did you find out about embryo adoption in the NEDC, by the way?  03:29 Rachel Chumita Chris was filling the pulpit for his friend indiana, where we met Jen and Aaron Hannaker. Jen was pregnant with Evie at that time, and so were just talking, and she was like, well, she's pregnant. She's like, now this baby is adopted. And I'm like, Wait, what? I asked her about more of it, and we talked for a little while. On our way back to Ohio, I told Chris, I'm like, okay, this is really cool. What do you think about it? Chris knows that I get really emotional around my birthday every year through the years of infertility. He was like, okay, I'm totally on board, but we're going to get a couple of weeks past birthday and make sure that this is still a desire of yours before we just jump at it. The rest is history. It was still committed after a couple of weeks.  04:24 Mark Mellinger Yeah, and the hammockers are terrific. EVs one of their NEDC babies. They have a couple now. Interesting. You were doing pulpit supply because Chris does have a master's degree in theology, I should say you're not a full time pastor, but you do some pulpit supply. Just doing this pulpit supply over in your neighboring state, Indiana, because you guys live in the Cleveland area. This is how you heard about yes, sir. Embryo adoption. Yes. What was the process of going through the NEDC like? Anything that you'd like to share to prepare other people who are thinking about it?  05:03 Chris Chumita We thought it was just very easy. Any question asked was quickly answered. The process was very straightforward. The home study group went through.  05:12 Rachel Chumita Was Snowflakes, I believe.  05:15 Mark Mellinger Snowflakes family evaluation was very easy.  05:18 Chris Chumita It was not like the horse stories you hear about people going through other adoptions. We really enjoyed the first trip down in Edict. We thought just meeting the whole staff, how they walked you through the whole process was very helpful and relieved any fears you might have had.  05:33 Mark Mellinger Well, that's great to hear. The Snowflakes family evaluation is something that some of our families may be interested in. It's an alternative to a traditional home study. We do have a home study requirement with the NEDC, but the Snowflakes family evaluation, the SFE, is good for two years, which is longer than most home studies, so that can be a good option. Also they'll go anywhere in the country to do it. The big distinction is it is only good for embryo adoption. If you're looking for a more flexible option that's good for both traditional adoption and embryo adoption, you wouldn't want to do the SFE, but it can be a good option if you're only interested in embryo adoption like Chris and Rachel were. Your kids are being so good. I love how especially Elizabeth is looking at the camera and wanting to play with that thing.  06:26 Mark Mellinger Let's talk about them a little bit. I mean, take me to the moment that Ezekiel and Elizabeth were born.  06:34 Rachel Chumita Well, I will say the one thing that was really scary for me were the shots. And so I don't like shots. Chris always has to go with me to my dentist appointments for that shot.  06:49 Mark Mellinger These are the shots to stimulate your cycle so your body's ready to do this. Okay, so before we get to the birth, how did you work through that? That's really practical.  07:00 Rachel Chumita Well, I was scared, but then I thought, okay, it's worth it. What I also did was I got a little stuffed bare, and so I would hold onto it really tight whenever Chris would give me my shots. It was just like a little reminder of why I was getting them done. It kind of made it all worth it in the end. Just kind of that little reminder every time I get my shots, like, okay, this is for what I called it, Booba Bear. My intention was, and still is to pass those bears on to them then for when they have to go through something like a shot. After we found out we had two, we got a second for me to finish my progesterone and oil shots. So I'd hold both of them then. And so now they know. They'll know that's how much I love them, that I went through those shots and Boo Bear helped me, and it can help them.  07:57 Mark Mellinger That's really good and really practical. I love that. Tell me about when they entered the world.  08:06 Rachel Chumita It was a Caesarean section, and yeah, it went really well. They were like, this is your son, this is your daughter. It was just amazing. I was opened up on the table and stuff, but then they got me the babies as soon as possible, and it was just like I didn't ever want to leave them, ever.  08:32 Mark Mellinger Chris? Yeah? Tell me what it was like for you. I mean, you're talking about basically 16 years of marriage with no kids and now twins.  08:43 Chris Chumita Yeah, it's been a big change, but a change for a good especially with twins. When you'd ask someone with twins, so how was the first few weeks? They give you, like, the wide eyed look, and you kind of know what that looks like now. Especially right now, as they're getting order, they're getting mobile. Like, Ezekiel is very close to walking and Lisa's just starting to crawl, and they're interacting a lot more. It's just so much fun. I always say, to highlight my days when I come home from work and I walk in and say, hey, Daddy's home. They both let out a squill and try to run over to you as much as they can.  09:21 Mark Mellinger Well, remember that when they're teenagers. Tuck that away in your mind. It's a sweet moment for right now and enjoy it. It doesn't always last that long. All kidding aside, I mean, they're beautiful kids. If you're watching on the video version, you can see that Elizabeth just had a pleasant smile on her face basically the whole time. Ezekiel has been looking at Daddy most of. Describe their personalities and how they have changed your lives.  09:53 Rachel Chumita Go ahead.  09:54 Chris Chumita Ezekiel is basically just a ham. He's always just smiling and laughing and he hits his landmarks very quickly. He's climbing up on furniture already and everything along those lines and he's just always so happy. I don't know if you can tell in the video, Elizabeth is just a sweetheart, but she has the biggest eyes, like pussing boots, which I know she's going to manipulate us later with.  10:19 Rachel Chumita She's just really mild and laid back and she wants held all the time and she has a little cuddle bug and she just yeah, she's terrified of her brother because he's a bull in a china shop when it comes to his sister.  10:39 Mark Mellinger Have you adjusted to twins life? I mean, I can't imagine having two newborns at the same time, and I know having one is hard. Do you think you've made the adjustment like you've got a routine down?  10:52 Chris Chumita Yeah, especially now that went through sleep training. That's really helped quite a bit.  10:59 Mark Mellinger Sleep training? Really? Tell me about that.  11:03 Rachel Chumita It was rough. We asked a lady who does it. We hired a sleep consultant and so essentially you stay in the room so that they know that you're there, but sometimes you just have to let them cry. It's amazing how quickly because for the first what was that? That was just after six months we started sleep training and so it was amazing for the first six months, every time they'd start to cry, you'd be like, grab them before they wake up their sibling. It was amazing to me how quickly they adapted to sleeping through each other's meltdown. You'd have one like just screaming and the other one would just be fast asleep and so it was an interesting experience. It was intense, but I think we're coming out pretty well on the other side.  11:59 Mark Mellinger Well, it's a great takeaway for people who do have twins. I love your story. You guys have been so good to share it and the kids have been so good. You've held them the whole time and they've been great. I don't want to make it too long. We're about ready to wrap up. Anything else about your embryo adoption experience or journey that you two felt is important and wanted to share?  12:24 Chris Chumita I just think it's what's great about needic is it's such a pro life message. It's an area in the pro life movement, I think, that's very neglected because as Christians, we all believe that life begins its conception and there's hundreds of thousands of babies that just need adopted and need a chance to live life. It's something I wish that more pro life groups and other churches would get behind and help promote it. We all really like, too, how Edith can work with people financially as well and how much more affordable it is than traditional adoption and IVF amen.  13:02 Mark Mellinger It is all of those things. You're right, it is still the corner of both the pro life and pro adoption movements that the church is capital C church is just learning about. Well, no meltdowns. They're just now starting to get a little fussy. It is the perfect time to wrap up this episode. Chris, Rachel and Ezekiel and Elizabeth, I want to thank you all so much. You have a beautiful family and this was so much fun.  13:28 Rachel Chumita Okay, thank you very much.  13:29 Chris Chumita Thank you so much.  13:30 Mark Mellinger If you want to find out more about the National Embryo Donation Center, you can go to our website, embryodonation.org. Again, that's embryodonation.org. I'm Mark Mellinger. This has been the embryo adoption podcast. 

His Providence is enough

April 29: Saint Catherine of Siena, Virgin and Doctor 1347–1380 Memorial; Liturgical Color: White Patron Saint of Italy, Europe, and fire prevention Her frightening intensity prayed the popes back to Rome Saint Peter was not martyred in Frankfurt, Germany; Alexandria, Egypt; or Jerusalem. He could have been. God, in His Providence, wanted Saint Peter's blood to spill on Roman soil, so that His One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church would drive its roots into the ground of the then capital of the world. This does not mean that Catholicism is bound to St. Peter's Basilica and Rome in the same way that Judaism was bound to the temple and Jerusalem. Rome does not have the same theological significance for Catholics as Jerusalem does for Jews, nor is Rome the successor of Jerusalem. Rome is not a holy city like Mecca is for the Muslims. The primacy of the Pope over the universal Church is based on his being the successor of Saint Peter. This is an indisputable historical fact. However, the Petrine ministry is one thing, and where it is exercised is another. The location of the Petrine ministry has never had the same theological weight as the ministry itself. Peter, yes. Always. Rome, yes. So far. Mostly. Today's saint was a Third Order Dominican, a mystic, a contemplative, and an ascetic who used secretaries to compose her letters, because she could not read or write until the last few years of her life. Yet for all of her interior distance from the world and its concerns, Saint Catherine of Siena threw herself at the feet of the Pope, then reigning in Avignon, and begged him to return to Rome. The “Babylonian Captivity” of the papacy in Avignon had gone on for almost seven decades and caused grave scandal. The move to Avignon was not due to an irreversible cultural shift such as a Muslim conquest or a decimating plague. The popes did not abandon Rome because it was a carcass. The transfer of the papal court to Avignon, a city within the Papal States, was the result of politics. It is not often that a single person can effect the course of history as much as a battle, a treaty, or a Council does. Incredibly, though, Saint Catherine of Siena's efforts to return the papacy to Rome were successful. She wrote so powerfully, spoke so passionately, and exuded such intense holiness that the Pope was overwhelmed. She also seemed to have prophetic powers, even knowing what the Pope was thinking or had previously thought. She was frighteningly intense and could not be ignored. Thus, sixty-seven years of seven French Popes ruling far from Rome ended. In 1376, Pope Gregory XI finally abandoned Avignon and followed in the footsteps of so many medievals—he went on pilgrimage to the tomb of St. Peter. And he stayed. The eternal city was a widow no longer. Saint Catherine was born the twenty-fourth of twenty-five children in a pious family imbued with the love of God. She eagerly drank in all that her parents poured out. She went for true “gold” early in life. She practiced extreme penances, eating only bread and raw vegetables and drinking only water for her entire adult life. She conversed with God, experienced ecstasies and visions, and dictated hundreds of letters, books and reflections filled with the most profound spiritual and theological insights. In 1970 she was the first layperson, and first woman, to be made a Doctor of the Church, in recognition of her profound mystical theology. Catherine died at the age of thirty-three, worn out by penances, travel, and the burden of her involvement in so many pressing ecclesial affairs. She was canonized in 1461. Her body lies under the main altar of the Dominican Church of Santa Maria sopra Minerva in Rome. Her mummified head is found in her native Siena. Saint Catherine of Siena, your love of God was expressed in so many vibrant ways and in a fervent love of His Church. We seek your powerful intercession from your exalted place in heaven to make all Catholics more ardent in their love of the Trinity, of the Passion, and of the Papacy.

Part 2 of Journey To Sinai by Pastor D. Learning Objective - There are number of lessons you must learrn from your adoption and ancestral family - the "Fussing, Fighting & Flip-Flopping" of the Israelites on their Journey to Sinai & the Promised Land! We need every page of the Torah to Reveal & Teach us the eternal truth's about God's Sovereignty & Character; His Providence and Justice; His Voice & Obedience; His Love, Grace & Faithfulness! You must Remember, "Everything Written in the Days of Old (OT) was recorded to give you instructions for living! Powerpoint Wisdom Key - As a "Born-again Believer - Grafter into the Family of Israel, you are very much a part of the same Deliverance & Freedom from the "Bondage to Sin in Egypt" God promised & provided Israel! "Egypt" Represents every form of Bondage to Sin & Idolatry(Addictions, Sexual Immorality, Pride, & Unrighteousness) in Your Life! Big Question - What's on you -- Does it represents the same thing that's in you? God works in Covenants. He established a covenant with Israel: A Covenant with God is When you voluntarily enter in mutual consent to fulfill your responsibilities within the covenant! Israel refused to "Unhook" themselves from the "Egypt" living in them! Unlike Israel, can you "Unhook" yourself from what's wrong in you instead of the false presentation - Thats's on you? Can you Live in "Egypt" & still claim " I'm in Covenant with God?" Please click here to view the sermon notes

Psalm 95:1-7Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. 2 Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. 3 For the Lord is the great God, the great King above all gods. 4 In his hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him. 5 The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land. 6 Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker; 7 for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care. Thanksgiving and Faith I Thessalonians 5:17-18 "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."Review: why we are not thankful Focusing on God => Thanksgiving Three Reasons why we are thankful       1. His Provision: what God has given       2. His Providence: what God has done and is doing and will do       3. His Presence: who God is 

In what does sanctity consist? The active fulfillment of our duties before God and the passive acceptance of all He allows. De Caussade makes this fundamental distinction for understanding our spiritual lives. We must seek to do all that God asks. But then he also leads us to a loving acceptance of the actions of His Providence.

Do you trust in God, even when the world is full of brokenness and depravity? As we journey through the book of Esther, we see how our faithful God is always present and that His Providence prevails despite our depravity. Together, let's rest in the province of God, putting our hope and trust in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Word and Songs: Season of Creation – A Call to Become Responsible Stewards of our Common Home We enter into the month of September celebrating the World Day of Prayer for the Care of Creation. The World Day of Prayer for the Care of Creation marks the beginning of the Season of Creation, which lasts until October 4th, the feast of St. Francis of Assisi. The theme for this year's Season of Creation is “Listen to the Voice of Creation.” Have you ever climbed a mountain or watched the sun rise or set? Can you recall the breathtaking experience of seeing the beautiful scenery you wished you could stare at forever? Don't we just get amazed at the beauty of breaking dawn or the color of the sunset? When we come face to face and perceive the immense beauty of God's creation, we are captivated by the greatness and the goodness of this God of ours who provides us with a vast panorama of the most spectacular common home for all of us to enjoy! Not even the latest android phone with the best features and highest megapixels can give justice to the actual beauty that is before our eyes. Every representation or photo of creation and nature is but a poor replica of the true beauty that creation holds. God is indeed the best landscape artist/ who designs our vast natural home and gives us the most beautiful design we can ever imagine in nature. He clothes His creation with the most striking colors, perfect hues, and the most harmonious combination of silence and natural sounds of birds chirping and other animal sounds. Anyone faced with the reality of Mother Earth's beauty will recognize its Maker's greatness and will naturally praise its Creator! This loving God of ours ensures that we wake up each day to a beautiful dawn and accompanies us throughout the day. That is why we naturally break into praise and song when we contemplate the mystifying heavenliness of God's creation. Everything in the universe declares the glory of God, everything proclaims His handiwork. Pondering the beauty of God's creation, we are moved to thank Him for the earth, the universe, and the common home we share with all our brothers and sisters in Christ. It is wonderful to belong to this family of our Father God who has made for us the most amazing home, a foretaste of what is to come in life eternal. As St. Paul reminds us in his letter to the Corinthians (1 Cor. 2:9) “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for them that love him.” We glimpse the attractiveness of what is in store for us at the end of time from the charming beauty of nature and the creation around us. As He speaks His Word to us, God also calls us through His creation. Aside from His Providence, He has given us a responsibility to be stewards of all His works. Man, being the highest of His creatures, has been entrusted with the responsibility to care for creation, to preserve the goodness and the beauty of the world around us.

Bible Study & Devotional 230 Read Today's Assigned Passages Guiding Scripture: Esther 1:4 ‘For a full 180 days he displayed the vast wealth of his kingdom and the splendor and glory of his majesty. ‘ Party Like A ___? Written by: Torrie Slaughter As we begin to read the book of Esther, it is essential to note that God is not mentioned. However, as we observe, we see His Providence throughout. God is our Protector and Provider. There are two essential lessons we can learn from Esther: To always place our trust in God. Boldness in faith and counted as a disciple of Jesus. In a lot of ways, Esther's story mimics the world today. With social media providing a 24/7 escape with perfect lighting, dancing, and geo-tagging, it wouldn't be difficult to ‘turn up' on a Thursday. That's what King Xerxes did for a total of 187 days. Held banquets to celebrate his wealth, prestige, and royalty. Read More at www.ourgivenpurpose.com Join us each day as we read the One Year Bible together. Listen to the devotionals and use them as a space to begin or end the assigned Bible reading. Follow us on Facebook & Instagram to share your insights! Connect with Torrie via www.torrieslaughter.com Torrie is a media ministry consultant who works with churches and faith driven organizations to build their ministry team, grow their online presence, improve communication with staff and volunteers by creating systems designed to combat inertia. This devotional was submitted by the Founder of Our Given Purpose®, Torrie Slaughter --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/torrie-w-slaughter/message

Randy Sowers reflects on how Jesus trusted entirely in the Father's ability and desire to provide for Him, inviting us to rely on God with the same unwavering trust in His Providence. Mentioned in this episode: null null

April 29: Saint Catherine of Siena, Virgin and Doctor1347–1380Memorial; Liturgical Color: WhitePatron Saint of Italy, Europe, and fire preventionHer frightening intensity prayed the popes back to RomeSaint Peter was not martyred in Frankfurt, Germany; Alexandria, Egypt; or Jerusalem. He could have been. God, in His Providence, wanted Saint Peter's blood to spill on Roman soil, so that His One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church would drive its roots into the ground of the then capital of the world. This does not mean that Catholicism is bound to St. Peter's Basilica and Rome in the same way that Judaism was bound to the temple and Jerusalem. Rome does not have the same theological significance for Catholics as Jerusalem does for Jews, nor is Rome the successor of Jerusalem. Rome is not a holy city like Mecca is for the Muslims. The primacy of the Pope over the universal Church is based on his being the successor of Saint Peter. This is an indisputable historical fact. However, the Petrine ministry is one thing, and where it is exercised is another. The location of the Petrine ministry has never had the same theological weight as the ministry itself. Peter, yes. Always. Rome, yes. So far. Mostly.Today's saint was a Third Order Dominican, a mystic, a contemplative, and an ascetic who used secretaries to compose her letters, because she could not read or write until the last few years of her life. Yet for all of her interior distance from the world and its concerns, Saint Catherine of Siena threw herself at the feet of the Pope, then reigning in Avignon, and begged him to return to Rome. The “Babylonian Captivity” of the papacy in Avignon had gone on for almost seven decades and caused grave scandal. The move to Avignon was not due to an irreversible cultural shift such as a Muslim conquest or a decimating plague. The popes did not abandon Rome because it was a carcass. The transfer of the papal court to Avignon, a city within the Papal States, was the result of politics.It is not often that a single person can effect the course of history as much as a battle, a treaty, or a Council does. Incredibly, though, Saint Catherine of Siena's efforts to return the papacy to Rome were successful. She wrote so powerfully, spoke so passionately, and exuded such intense holiness that the Pope was overwhelmed. She also seemed to have prophetic powers, even knowing what the Pope was thinking or had previously thought. She was frighteningly intense and could not be ignored. Thus, sixty-seven years of seven French Popes ruling far from Rome ended. In 1376, Pope Gregory XI finally abandoned Avignon and followed in the footsteps of so many medievals—he went on pilgrimage to the tomb of St. Peter. And he stayed. The eternal city was a widow no longer.Saint Catherine was born the twenty-fourth of twenty-five children in a pious family imbued with the love of God. She eagerly drank in all that her parents poured out. She went for true “gold” early in life. She practiced extreme penances, eating only bread and raw vegetables and drinking only water for her entire adult life. She conversed with God, experienced ecstasies and visions, and dictated hundreds of letters, books and reflections filled with the most profound spiritual and theological insights. In 1970 she was the first layperson, and first woman, to be made a Doctor of the Church, in recognition of her profound mystical theology. Catherine died at the age of thirty-three, worn out by penances, travel, and the burden of her involvement in so many pressing ecclesial affairs. She was canonized in 1461. Her body lies under the main altar of the Dominican Church of Santa Maria sopra Minerva in Rome. Her mummified head is found in her native Siena.Saint Catherine of Siena, your love of God was expressed in so many vibrant ways and in a fervent love of His Church. We seek your powerful intercession from your exalted place in heaven to make all Catholics more ardent in their love of the Trinity, of the Passion, and of the Papacy.

God showed great grace in His call of Samuel. Grace in bringing His Word, in His Providence, and in His Saving Call.

PROVERB CONSIDERED: “Ọdọọdún nìrèké ńso.” INTERPRETATION: "The sugarcane flourishes annually." MEANING & BIBLICAL APPLICATION: The proverb is typically used as a new year prayer for a perennial good fortune. The idea is that as surely as the sugarcane will yet again flourish in the new year, we can expect good fortune yet again! The truth is that God, in His Providence, delightfully and continuously offers us multiple opportunities to start again, dream again and hope again. Every new day, new week, new month and new year offers us this opportunity, and so thus 2022. Will you embrace the limitless opportunities this year has to offer by embracing the wisdom of this proverb? Another tangent we considered the proverb from is based on the fact that sugarcane actually takes many months to grow and a full year to mature. In other words, the sugarcanes that cannot but flourish annually didn't sprout overnight. It takes time. This should remind us that there is a divine-timing factor that we must bear in mind for both our disappointments from the previous year and our hopes and dreams for the new year. But with God being for us, we can be assured that He is always in the business of doing new things in 'now moments,' and so we can hope for the best in the new year! Scriptures Cited include: Lamentations 3:22-23 NRSV says "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Isaiah 43:18-19 TPT says "Stop dwelling on the past. Don't even remember these former things. I am doing something brand new, something unheard of. Even now it sprouts and grows and matures. Don't you perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and open up flowing streams in the desert." LINKS TO LISTEN TO THE EPISODE ✥ My Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/omoluabi/ ✥ Other Platforms — https://pod.link/1550735589 FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

When God says no, the closed door is always for a reason. We may not get an explanation this side of Heaven, but we can take comfort in His Providence.

0 (0s): Father God, I thank you for this morning. I think you, that we are here to worship you and here to praise you. And so we just bless your name. God, we take this time and we just, we want to sing to you. Jesus. Amen. 1 (20s): he can move by God. 1 (3m 24s): He is mighty to save. He is Jesus . 2 (13m 42s): Oh, thank you, Lord. Thank you for the privilege that you've given us that new and living way. So we can enter in to the holy of Holies by the blood of our savior and Lord Jesus Christ. Or thank you that as we gather in your name, as we come near you and draw near to you, Lord, you've given us the promise that you are with us, that you are in our midst. And so we welcome you Lord. And as you are here, you've come to heal. You've come to set us free. You've come to bring salvation. You've come to deliver us from all the things in this life that would hold us down and hold us in bondage. The solar. We welcome you to bring that deliverance to our lives, Lord, to open up our hearts, to see you as you truly are lo we, we often come to you with sort of veiled, veiled, vision, not really seeing the glory and the power and the authority that you are. 2 (14m 35s): The Lord open our eyes to you today. Open our, understanding our hearts, our minds, our will, our emotion to who you are today. Lord give us that, that desire for more. We want more of you, Lord. We're not satisfied with just where we are. The status quo Lord. We desire the power of your holy spirit, working in us from glory to glory, transforming us into your image and allowing us to walk in the victory that you have provided for us. But we want to abide in Christ or that's that secret place of the most high that you referred to. And Lord, that's where we want to be today. We bless you. We thank you in Jesus name. We pray God's people said, amen. 2 (15m 17s): Amen. Go ahead and have a seat please. All right. So what I want to do this morning, I want to go ahead and welcome someone up to the podium this morning. He is, I guess you'd call him our guest speaker, although he's not a guest is he's one of us. So Stacy and Tanya Harman have been fellowship with us for, I'm going to guess maybe five years, four years, four or five years, something like that. And so what we want to do today is I'm going to invite Stacy to come on up and he's going to be sharing the word with us today. So let's give a warm welcome to Stacey Harmon. 2 (15m 57s): Okay? All right, 3 (16m 5s): Everybody it's pleasure to be here. I'm good to see you all. And I just had lunch with Steve a couple of months ago and said I wanted to preach someday. And he said, how about July 18th? And I said, okay, well that's that's real date. That's the time I got to make some efforts to get this together. And I thought about, you know, how he usually tells a joke when he gets up here. And I thought there's no way I could ever approach the quality of his jokes. So I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna tell you a joke. I would like you to turn with me. If you would, to two familiar passages in your Bibles or on your devices, John 14 six is where we're going to start. 3 (16m 50s): And we're also going to talk about Matthew 18 or it's 5 28, 18 through 20. And John 14, six is very familiar passage to us, but there's really an outrageous claim made there by Jesus. If you think about it, this is where he's talking to his disciples. He's telling them that he's going to go away. He was trying to encourage them that he's going to go prepare a mansion's for them. And they don't understand what he's talking about, where he's going. And he says, and they ask him, where's this way. What, what are you talking about this way? He says, I am the way the truth and the life, no one comes to the father, but through me and that's before the cross, obviously before they scatter, of course, after his crucifixion. 3 (17m 33s): And if you go to Matthew 28, 18 through 20, he says, all authority has been given to me in heaven and on earth go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the father, son, and holy spirit teaching to deserve all that I commanded you. And lo I am with you always, even to the end of the age. So that's after the cross. Right? But those are really outrageous claims. If you think about it, he's saying he's the way. And he's also saying that all authority on heaven and earth has been given to him. So I would like to drill down a little bit on this idea about the way and the followers of the way, which are disciples and what they look like. 3 (18m 15s): But first let me ask you a question. I'll step over here. She'd get a good look at me. Do I look like an architect? Well, I'm glad that's like, you're like, what kind of question is that? Right? That's a ridiculous question. What's an architect look like it's kind of a running joke between Tonya and I. She was describing a woman's husband to me and she said, well, it looks like an architect. And I'm like, huh? I don't really know. I don't have a reference for that. I don't really know what that means. I'm not sure I could pick them out of a crowd if he looks like an architect. But what about a doctor? What's a doctor looked like actually happened to be a doctor. 3 (18m 56s): I'm an ER doctor, but maybe gray hair and old guy. Yeah, that's a doctor. But the point I'm making is you have a reference for that. You don't have a reference for an architect. You have a reference for a doctor, right? If I had a long white coat on, you might say, oh, that's a doctor. Or you could say it's a butcher, I guess, or a scientist or, or maybe it's maybe it's their cousin, someone that the cosmetic counter Macy's right with a long white coat. But if I put a stethoscope around my neck, then you're like, okay, that's looking more like a doctor. Or if I had an ID badge on that said, you know my name and I was affiliated with a hospital then, okay. That might be a doctor. And, and what about if I, as the setting that I'm in, if I've in scrubs, right? 3 (19m 38s): You come into the ER, I'm wearing scrubs, like, okay, that must be the doctor, but you don't really ask me for my credentials. Right? You don't say, let me see your diploma. Let me see your board certification. What about your license? Do you have a license? You have a framework that you understand what a doctor kind of looks like. And once you sort of figured that out, you're pretty comfortable that that's, that's the doctor so much so that you would literally trust your life with me after meeting me like two minutes within two minutes, right? If you come to the emergency department, I would have the authority, right? And I am the way I have the authority to take, to admit you to the hospital, to decide what's going to be done with you. 3 (20m 22s): And I'm the way that you get to the hospital, get the medicines you need or get what you need. Right. That's and you've decided just based on a little bit of information that that's the authority and that's who I am as a doctor. And then you have to also deal with what your impressions of doctors are. Right? You, you might think of Dr. Dr. McDreamy, right. But, or, or you might think, oh, I love my doctor was great to my kids or he delivered my babies or, or she helped my mom when, when she was in really bad straights when she was older, or you might think doctors are arrogant and condescending. And I really hate doctors. In fact, I've walked into rooms and that's the first thing someone says to me, I hate doctors. 3 (21m 5s): And I usually say, well, so do I. So let's, let's get busy, but what can I do for you so that it does it, but, but literally I have the authority and I'm the way in the ER. Right? So let's talk about spiritual thing. Let's switch to spiritual thing. So the question I have too, is what's a Christian look like, or a disciple or a Messiah, right? What's a Messiah look like, clearly it wasn't what Jesus looked like. Right? Because they said, ah, that's Joseph's son, right? Can't be a Messiah. Or he's just a carpenter, right? How about nothing good can come from Nazareth. Right? 3 (21m 45s): That was their image of a Messiah. Their idea didn't match what they were seeing with Jesus. And then he, he goes on to do miracles, right? Healed. Well, he healed on the Sabbath. He healed somebody on Saturday. That's against the law. He can't be the Messiah. Let's just forget about the miracle part. Right. But it's not fitting my little mold about what he is. He, he did work on Saturday. He can't be the Messiah. Even though he did a miracle, I'm dismissing the miracle from my fixed idea about what a Messiah represents. He was teaching with authority. He had knowledge of the scriptures. He did miracles of healings. He healed epileptics. Paralytics he raised Lazarus from the dead folks. 3 (22m 28s): Right. And they still didn't buy it. They still, still didn't work. It had such a strong bias against what it, or what it should look like. And it just didn't match. They still crucified him. Right. He didn't look like a Messiah. And they said, we want a sign. He said, well, you're going to get the sign of Jonah. And what's the sign of Jonah. Jonah was in the belly of the fish. Well, whatever you want to call it for three days, right. Jesus is saying, the sign of Jonah is all you're going to get, I'm going to be in the grave for three days. And the resurrection is what you're going to get as a sign. So that's the ultimate credential, right? 3 (23m 8s): So he says, he says, he says that he is, has all authority. And he's the way, well, what is his credentials? It's the resurrection, right? The resurrection card is the ultimate credential. Correct. Now he says, I am the way the truth. The life, no one comes to the father. Through me. All authority has been given to me on heaven on earth. So it's the, it's the, it's the way to enter heaven through him and the way to live on earth, the way to enter and the way to live all authority is his, because of his resurrection credential. 3 (23m 48s): Right? So the way back to God is through Jesus right first. So you have to ask yourself, well, what am I here for? What's the meaning of life? Why am I here? Where am I going? What's life mean? And then are these credentials good enough for you? Good enough for you to follow the way his credentials and plenty of flavor weighed in on this subject about what life's about. Right? If you ask Sigmund Freud, he'd say, life's about pleasure. If you have Carl Young, he'd say it's about power. If you have Victor Frankl who survived a concentration camp, he'd say it's about meaning. 3 (24m 29s): And you know what? Those actually, it's funny that all these experts have come up with all these ideas about what life's all about, but those are actually biblical principles. And how do I know that if you look in Genesis 1 27, God said to Adam and Eve, you subdue the earth. Awesome. Thank you very much. SI. I'm used to nurses pushing me around. Thank you. Looking out for me, actually appreciate it. So they said to subdue and rule the earth and be fruitful and multiply, right? 3 (25m 11s): That's power and pleasure. Right now, the meaning part is based on our relationship with God, they walked hand in hand with God in the garden. That was a meaning. That was meaning. That was the relationship they had. So if you think about it yet, you still can pursue power, pleasure and meaning in their life. But the, but the power and the pleasure have to be with a clear conscience, right? You can't do things that are, that are going to violate your conscience. And you have to have to realize what God has definitions of those things are there's power in weakness, right? There's pleasure in service, right? And there's meaning in relationship with God, right? 3 (25m 54s): So that leads us back to this idea of the way, the way to enter heaven, the way to live and the way back to God. Because remember, remember this in Genesis 3 24, what did God do? When he threw Adam and Eve out of the garden, he blocked away. He put cherubim at the garden so they couldn't get back in the way was blocked. Sin had separated them from God, kicked us out of the garden. The way was blocked for that meaningful relationship with God is now gone. That, that idea that we have a, we can walk with God is gone. So the way was blocked by sin. The way back is Jesus. And the way to live is through Jesus. 3 (26m 36s): This idea of the way is what is, is how the early Christians are. The disciples ran their lives. That that was how they followed Jesus. In fact, if you looked in acts nine Paul, before he was converted, it was basically a Hitman for the Sanhedrin, right? He was going out, he got permission to go out, bring Christians shackled back to face charges, basically for following the way. And he says, it says he persecuted those belonging to the way. So who are those following the way they're, they're called disciples, right? 3 (27m 17s): And here's my microphone. And if I can't drop this mic, but who's fired, they weren't Christians. This is what I mean. Wait a second. That term wasn't even used yet. Jesus never heard the term Christian Christians in acts 1126. The disciples were first called Christians at Antioch. That's 30 years later, 30 years. They were disciples following the way before they were ever called Christians. And some scholars even believed that that term might've been even been derogatory. Oh, that's those Christians. Right? 3 (27m 57s): Right. So there were disciples following the way, all that time. But they were first called Christians at Antioch. I had a friend of mine, a colleague of mine, call me a Chrysler one time. Are you one of those Chryslers? And I went, Hmm, well, yes I am. But I don't think I like the way you mean it. You know, I, he called me a Chrysler, which is like maybe what they were calling them Christians, right? The point I'm making is that they were disciples along the way. And then they were labeled Christians at some point in time. And what I'm, what I'm getting at is that calling yourself a Christian means something to people, just like a doctor or the Messiah. 3 (28m 38s): Right? So if you're a Christian, you might know what that means. And you have an idea of what that means, but somebody else might think, oh, you're a Catholic. Or maybe you're a Jehovah's witness or you're a TV evangelist, or a Mormon or a health and wealth gospel, or you're a boss at work who goes to church on Sundays and then acts inappropriate the whole week. That's a big umbrella to be under, as Christian. And we just have, is nothing wrong with calling yourself a Christian don't get me wrong, but we just have to understand that what it means to us, what we think it means and what, what someone else interprets that as me could be two very different things. 3 (29m 20s): So perhaps sort of getting back to our roots and calling ourselves disciples, or at least thinking like that might be helpful when we try to figure out who we are and how we should live as well as communicate to others and try to bring them to Christ. Right. And discipleship is kind of a lifelong process, correct? It's not like it's something you do your whole life. It's kind of like, like martial arts when you have a white belt and then you go progress to black belt and you can just gradually make your way through all these different stages and things become, you become better and better at this. But what's funny about martial arts is the people that are the most skilled are usually the most humble, right? 3 (30m 5s): You, you learn so much as you go along that you're actually more humble and more grounded and more rooted and, and a better person towards the end than you are in the beginning. Right? And that's a whole nother topic discipleship. We could spend hours on that. But what I like to do is get back to this idea about the way and what a few characteristics of a disciple living out the way. So the first one is under the disciples, understand worship and certainly worship involves what we're doing today is corporate worship, where we get together. And we think songs and we sing hymns and songs and spiritual songs where he preaching and teaching and prayer. And we take the Lord's supper. 3 (30m 46s): And you know, this corporate idea of worship is certainly part of what we do and who we are. But what I'd like to look at is acts 2 42 through 43. So this is after Peter is spoken on in Pentecost and there's 3000 people have been baptized. And they, it says they were continually devoting themselves to the apostles teaching and to fellowship and to the breaking of bread. And to prayer, everyone kept feeling a sense of awe and many wonders and signs were taking place through the apostles. 3 (31m 27s): The part I would like to emphasis is this idea of a sense of awe. I think we need to recapture that, right? I think that this idea that we worship is something we do instead of something that comes out of us is what we have to sort of undo. As we think of ourselves, as Christians as disciples, the sense of awe is, is what motivated all that other stuff, all the other worship that came out of that. So it's easy. I mean, I get bogged down. It's easy to check boxes in your life, right? I prayed today. I contributed to that. I went to church, whatever it is, the box that you check, it's easy to do that, but I think we have to start changing our attitude about worship is something is something about who we are and not what we do. 3 (32m 17s): And if you look in Romans 12, one through 12, it says, if I went to two, rather hired you, therefore brethren by the mercies of God to present your bodies, a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship and do not be conformed the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what the will of God is. That which is good and perfect or acceptable and perfect. So it's, do you realize that when you're walking around your day-to-day life and you're trying to be a non-conformist to the world and that you are presenting your bodies, a living and holy sacrifice, you're, that's an act of worship every day, while you're walking around what you're doing, when you're trying to control what your thoughts and your actions and that's that's because you have who you are. 3 (33m 12s): You're a disciple who you're following the way. You're the path you're on Matthew 12, seven says I desire compassion and not sacrifice. That's where Jesus condemned the Pharisees for being so hung up on the law, that they forgot the meaning behind it, that it was there more, they were more concerned about religion and people are religion and ritual than they were the people he says in Matthew 5 23. If you were at the author to present your offering and you realize your brother has something against you, go make that right first, then come back. So what are the, what's the two, the two commandments that are sum up everything. 3 (33m 56s): Love. God, love your neighbor. So if you have something that's not right with your neighbor and you come to the house of God, you gotta make that right first, before you come to stand before God, he wants you to love him and love your neighbor. The relationship is more important than the ritual or the theology, the relationship with him, the, with his children and the relationship with mankind in general, that's, that's what we do as disciples James, 1 27 says this is pure and undefiled religion in the sight of God and father to visit orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world. 3 (34m 39s): So to be in the world, but not of the world and to take care of other people and their needs, right? That's part of the way of the disciple. Next is disciples have integrity. And this is, if you, if you looked up that word in Webster, it would say adherence to a code and soundness. And if you look at Matthew five and we're not going to go on, but that's a 5, 6, 7 is the sermon on the Mount. And this is where Jesus is talking to them in the beatitudes. Initially telling them, you know, things are rough, but they're going to be a better. But then he gets into Matthew five. 3 (35m 24s): And this that's the part where you hear the, but I say, right, but I say, you've heard it said you shouldn't commit murder, but I say, don't even be angry. You've heard it said, don't commit adultery, but I don't even lust. Right? You've heard it said, don't make false vows, but I say, make no vowel at all. In other words, let your word be your word. And I for, and I versus turn the other cheek, love they neighbor and hate your enemies. But I say, love your enemies. This is all the kind of integrity or the kind of person that we're striving to become. Now it's impossible to do that without God and grace and you it's, it's always, you're always falling in and out of keeping that together. 3 (36m 9s): But the point is we have integrity. It's who we are in out there in the real world, working on your heart is what we're talking about. And then he talks about in Matthew six righteousness is between you and God. This is because he's, he's condemning the, the Pharisees for, for wanting to get all this attention, right? Wearing all these brightly colored outfits and, and calling attention to themselves. He says, you should give in secret. If you will give your arms in secret, no fanfare that's integrity, right? Pray in private, not to be seen. 3 (36m 49s): Don't pray with meaningless repetition, but with intimacy, with God, fast, with a smile on your face, store up treasure in heaven and live today without anxiety. That's all in that chapter. I've heard it said, if you consider the worst case scenario and then it happens, you've lived it twice. So that's the problem with anxiety. And the other thing I've found out in my own life is 90% of the things we worry about never happen anyway. So you've just wasted all this energy and an angst on, on this emotion, this anxiety. 3 (37m 31s): And then he goes on into Matthew seven, a one through five. And this is where disciples make judgments, but they're not judgmental. There's a subtle difference there, correct? I mean, you make a judgment. Every time you come up to a red light, you can make an, a judgment as to whether you're going to stop or not. Whether it's a good idea to weighing everything and making a judgment. But in Matthew seven one through five, Jesus says, do not judge less. You be judged for in the way you judge, you will be judged. And by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your, in your eye. 3 (38m 11s): How can you say to your brother, let me take the speck out of your eye. And behold, the log is in your own eye. You hypocrite first, take the log out of your own eye. And then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. Take the log out before the spec. He's not saying you don't make a judgment. It's taking work on yourself first, get the log out first, before you start looking other places. And he also said, he's also saying that you're not the standard. It's, you're not the standards. When you make a judgment based on righteous judgment. Cause he goes on to say, be aware of false teachers, right? You'll judge them by their fruits. So wait a minute. That's confusing. Wait, you told me not to be judgmental. Then you told me to judge them by their fruits. 3 (38m 53s): Well, it's not confusing if you think about it, it's you, it's not your standard. You're judging by God's standard. And, and it's not you saying, Hey, you know, you, you, you know, get that log out of your IRA, speck out of your eye. It's not you, it's not your own standard. I like the way that this, what does he, Dr. Phil, he'll say to somebody how's that working out for you. That's a good way to approach somebody, right? When you take the log out of your eye and you see a speck, how's that working out for you, maybe there's a better way versus, you know, you're an idiot, right? That's just not the way to do it. 3 (39m 38s): And disciples, the next point is disciples have bigger fish to fry. And what do I mean by that? I mean that, that they're not going to get bogged down on a lot of details and things to take them away from their mission. And so I want you to consider something considered this original crew that Jesus picked in Matthew ten two through four, but the 12 originals. Right? Think of these people in a room together, Peter and his brother, Andrew, we didn't know much about Andrew, right? Peter. We know a lot about from later on, but he's pretty, pretty impulsive guy. Yeah. Matthew was a tax collector. 3 (40m 19s): Now tax cokers were, were really viewed as horrible people. There, there are Jews working for the Roman government and they're skimming off the top and explain their own people. In other words, the Roman comes says, Hey, we want to 8% tax. And they sit. And so they charged 10 and get their own cut. And then they're there and they're skimming off the top to, for their own benefit. So they were hated by their own people. And then you have Simon, the zealot in the same room. Now the zealots were Jews who advocated overthrowing the Roman government by military force. So Simon, the zealot and Matthew whose work, I mean the tax collector working for the Roman government. 3 (41m 5s): He wants to kill that guy and throw overthrow the government that he's talking about. So those are two people in the same room. Then you got Judas, who's a thief, right? We know how here you have Thomas. Who's a skeptic. You have James and his brother, John, the one Jesus loved. Now, I don't know where that sort of was figured out the one that and how that he was loved more. But I'm just wondering how that would, the other guys would feel about that. Right? You got Phillip Bartholomew, James, the son of Alpheus Thaddeus. And then what about later on you have John. I mean, you think about other people like John, the Baptist, John, the Baptist wore animal skins and was a wild man eating locusts and honey. 3 (41m 51s): And then you have Paul later on, who's a persecutor of the church. And then he converts and becomes an, an impossible basically. How does that work out with the people that are, I mean, I don't get me wrong, but I think I would be a little bit like, Hmm, I'm going to sit over here. And that Paul Guy can sit over there. And then what about just Gentiles in general? Ultimately there's these, the Christianity, you start off with Jews, right? And then ultimately incorporated the whole Gentiles, which are dogs. They're viewed as dogs by the Jews. So the got this whole group together now. Right? But what happens is they put aside their differences to achieve a common goal. 3 (42m 35s): We live in a culture that thrives on just the opposite of that, that everybody that's on, it's thrives on divisiveness and conflict and individualism and hate. Our culture is just the opposite of putting aside your differences to achieve a common goal. That's how Matthew, the tax collector could be in the same room as Simon, the zealot, because they had bigger fish to fry there. They were trying to spread the gospel, right? Mark nine 40. Jesus is telling his apostles because they said, Hey, we found some people over here. They're doing some stuff in your name. Do you want us to make him stop? And he said, no. 3 (43m 16s): For he, who is not against us is for us. That's a pretty faffed call, right? If it's not against you, he's for you. There's at least some common ground there. I'm not saying we don't have standards or we should overlook sin to be inclusive. That's not what I'm saying, but I am saying that we need to have bigger fish to fry because some of the things we get upset about, or we get under our skin or cause division are really not worth sacrificing. The bigger picture, the bigger goal we have to agree on the ones. What I mean by that is in Ephesians four, four says there is one body and one spirit, one hope, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God, and one father, God, and father. 3 (44m 3s): We have to agree on those ones. But after that, I think we can just get a little more flexible and not so rigid and, and also, and be more committed to the ultimate goal versus our own little agendas. Right? And besides you have to have a relationship with somebody to influence them. You can't say, you know what, until you X, Y, or Z, or until you this, this or that, I'm not gonna have anything to do with you. If you don't have a relationship with somebody, there's no way you're going to influence them. So we do have bigger fish to fry. 3 (44m 44s): My next one is, oh, is that we have the disciples stay in the game. And here's what I want you think about. Think about Judas and Peter, right? So Judas betrayed Jesus for money and Peter betrayed Jesus out of fear, right? Just for him mentally. I didn't know the guy three times, do you just felt guilt and remorse. Peter felt guilt and remorse. So what's Juice's solution. He kills himself. Peter solution. He repented resolve to do better, came back and then went on to be Peter. 3 (45m 28s): Who's the rock that his confession was the rock that the church was built on two guys at the same juncture in life. Right? So no matter what you face, you have to decide whether you're going to be a Peter or a Judas. What if Judas had repented? You know, it'd be a whole different story, but do you think the Lord would have welcomed him back? Like he did Peter, you have to say yes, right? His solution was to kill himself. And so many of us do that spiritually is we just get too discouraged and we just fall away or we just stop doing what we know we should be doing. 3 (46m 9s): And, and then versus Peter, who said, you know what? I, I, I really did mess up and I feel bad, but I'm going to get back in the game. So they stay in the game, disciple, stay in the game, resolve to stay in the game and they stay in the boat. And this is a, this is the scripture acts 27, 14 through 40, where this is where Paul is being transported to Rome on a ship. And he's shackled basically to a Roman guard who is, and some of you might already know this, but if you're a Roman guard transporting a prisoner, if the prisoner escapes, then you kill yourself, right. 3 (46m 55s): You and your basically your life for that life. So Paul is on a ship. You've got a Roman guard with him there. They're sailing to Rome and there's like 200 people on the, on the boat. And they come into this storm. And this storm is like two weeks long storm. And the experts on the boat, the conventional wisdom is, wow, we got to lighten the load. We got to throw off our food. We got to throw off the, eventually they throw off the tackle and the rigging of the boat. Eventually they say lowering the lifeboats. We got our abandoned ship. We've got to get off this shit. That's, that's the experts. That's the conventional wisdom of the day. 3 (47m 35s): That's the seasoned sailors telling them what to do. And Paul says in verse 31, unless these men remain on the ship, you yourselves cannot be saved. He had been a hit. God has spoken to him, said, no, I want everybody to stay on the ship, stay in the boat. What's the first thing people do or you do, or I do either emotionally or sometimes physically when things in life aren't going so good. Well, you know, I really don't feel like going to church or man, I, I know those people they're, they're better than me. I, I shouldn't go. Or people fall away. 3 (48m 17s): They jump ship, right? You leave the stay in the boat. Don't jump ship. Because what happened is eventually this a boat runs the ground. They get off everybody's survives, but it was completely against all their thinking process, all their wisdom, all their decisions to what you do. When, when, when you're in a storm like this, you get rid of all this stuff. And this is how, this is how we do it. So stay in the boat, disciples, stay in the game and they stay in the boat. This is the boat right here. We're in the boat. We're all in the same boat, trying to work things through, go get through life together. Disciples, bear, each other's burdens, but you got to stay in the boat. 3 (48m 59s): It's so much easier for you or us to help each other. If we're in the boat versus trying to get you out of the water. The next point I would like to make is that disciples believe in miracles, but they don't rely on them. Here's what I mean. Second Corinthians 12 verses eight and nine. This is Paul speaking. He's talking about his thorn in the flesh, which is some condition. We don't really know what it is, but it's some physical ailment. He says, concerning this. I entreated the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And he has said to me, my grace is sufficient for you. For power is perfected in weakness. Paul couldn't heal himself. 3 (49m 42s): Right? He could heal other people miraculously, but he couldn't heal himself. God said his gracious, sufficient. And Paul goes on to say, I'm content with my weakness. If so, because God decides how, when, where and why the holy spirit is distributed. Here's what God guarantees us. He guarantees this Providence, but not miracles. Providence means that he's going to take care of us. He's going to make everything work out. Okay. He always will be with us. But if you're holding out for, or you require a miraculous event or a sign or a gift before you're faithful, then you're going to be disappointed. 3 (50m 26s): And maybe even bitter that might happen. But disciples believe in miracles, but they don't rely on them. Right? Romans 8 28. We've heard this scripture a lot. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God to those who are called according to his purpose. He doesn't say all things will be good, but if you're called to his purpose, he says, all things were turn out for the good, right? His Providence is guaranteed. 3 (51m 6s): Finally disciples are baptized member, go back to Matthew 28. It says by definition, that's what a disciple is. I don't want you to get hung up on this comma because in the Greek, there's actually no commas. But some people say, well, no, you have to be discipled before you're baptized now because they know you, you become a disciple when you're baptized. It doesn't really matter. The doctrine of it. The theology of it, the point of it is it's what Jesus commanded disciples are baptized. Just like Nike, just do it, right? Just do it. Every believer in the book of acts is baptized. And you can make a commitment that he was talking about reading a chapter day, read the book of acts. 3 (51m 50s): And some people were baptized more than once. Acts 2 38, 3000 people were baptized because they realized that they had been part of the crew that had crucified Jesus. And now he was in heaven because that miracle of them hearing Peter preach in their own language, right? You had different people from different cultures and different languages. They're on Pentecost. And it's like, if I was speaking to you and you only spoke Spanish right now, you'd hear Spanish and you heard English or you're here to French or whatever that was like, wait a minute. We're hearing them in our own language, hearing him in our language, how's that possible? And Peter says, well, he said that he was going to go away. 3 (52m 32s): And when he went away, he was going to send a helper and the helpers here. So that means he's where he said he was in heaven to help us here. He's in heaven. That's confirmed. And then they said, well, what should we do? And he said, repent, and be baptized. Some were baptized more than once. If they're baptized into John, they got rebaptized. Some people had received the holy spirit had not received the holy spirit and then got baptized into Jesus and received the holy spirit. Others Gentiles that were presumably left out of the whole program had received the holy spirit and the apostles go well, wait a minute. They had the holy spirit. So they must be concluded. 3 (53m 14s): Then we shouldn't withhold baptism. So they got baptized as well. The Ethiopian unique in the chariot says there's water. What hinders me from being baptized? That's what I would ask you. If you haven't been baptized, what's hindering you. What hinders you from becoming a disciple? First, Peter 3 21 says in corresponding to that, meaning Noah's Ark or the water saved people. Baptism now saves you not the removal of dirt from the flesh. It's not, it's not a bath, but an appeal to God for a good conscience through the resurrection of Jesus Christ. 3 (53m 54s): Who is that? The right hand of God, having gone to heaven after angels and authorities and powers have been subjected to him. There's that all authority again, right? He has all authority. He has to the he's the way to become a disciple. The way to clear conscience, Galatians 3 27, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourself with Christ. So what does this disciple look like? The disciple looks like you and me trying to live in this crazy world, clothed in Christ, holding onto the way, trying to stay in the game, staying in the boat. 3 (54m 42s): And then so maybe you've never decided to follow Jesus. Maybe you've jumped out of the boat. Maybe you have a doubt. I challenge you to go back to Matthew 28 and look at verse 17. This is right before. If you're, if you have a Bible, we'll go hook your device. Go ahead and open up that verse. This is right before Jesus says, gives the great commission. It says. And when they saw him and when they saw him means he's risen from the dead there. He's with them again. It says. And when they saw him, they worshiped him, which is appropriate, right? 3 (55m 24s): Wouldn't you do that if you just saw the risen Lord, but some were doubtful is what it says. Some there's only 11 of them, right? Some is more than one. So more than one of the 11 were doubtful. These are the guys that walked with him, thought his death, burial, and resurrection, and now see him alive. It says some were doubtful. So what I'm saying to you is doubt is normal. We all have doubt. There always be there. You cannot have faith without doubt, just like you can't have courage without fear. 3 (56m 8s): Courage is what you do when you overcome fear. Faith is what you do when you overcome doubt. So it's really okay to doubt and be insecure. The question is, what are you going to do about it? What are you going to do? Jesus says in that chapter, in that, in that passage we started with at the end of it, Jesus says, lo I am with you always. So do you believe that? Is he with you always, no matter what you face, no matter how difficult it is, no matter how much doubt you have, whether your faith is weak or do you need courage? So lesson is yours. I'd like you to just please make your needs known. We're here to, I guess I should have invited the worship team back up, right? 3 (56m 51s): Come back. Sorry. Rookie mistake. But I would like you to, to make your needs known. We're here to pray for you. Study with you. You can be baptized. You can put on, be Christ, put on Christ. If you can, you can become a disciple today. Let's stand and worship. 1 (57m 57s): beautiful. 1 (1h 4m 21s): you didn't want . 0 (1h 7m 31s): If you father, we praise you today. God, we thank you that we get to be in your house today. God, we thank you for the word, Lord, Jesus. And I pray that as we leave this place today, Lord, that we would just take something away. And when that we would hold onto it this week, Lord God. And we would find ourselves in your word. And so we thank you and we praise you and it's in your most precious name. We pray. Amen. Have a wonderful day. If you need prayer, we have a prayer team up front. So feel free to make your way forward.

Intro:   This is it, this is the last episode in our 21 episode series on sexuality , our last episode of 14 in our subseries on sexuality in Catholic marriages, it has been a long run, thank you for being here We are finishing up with our metaphor of the canopied Catholic Marriage Bed And today we'll be discussing the four bedposts, the canopy, and the bedskirt, bedspread and the shams with more examples.   I'm clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and I am here with you, to be your host and guide.   This podcast, Interior Integration for Catholics, is part of Souls and Hearts, our online outreach at soulsandhearts.com, which is all about shoring up our natural foundation for the Catholic spiritual life, all about overcoming psychological obstacles to being loved and to loving God and neighbor. In this podcast, we confront the tough questions we Catholics have in our day-to-day lives, we confront head on our struggles in the natural realm, the psychological difficulties that keep us from fully loving our Lord and our Lady in a deep, personal, intimate way.  This is episode 70, released on May 31, 2021, entitled Catholic Sex and the Four Pillars -- and the Dos and Don'ts of Sharing about your Sexual Life. Review of the bed Review the bed -- remember this canopied marriage bed represents the sexual life of a married Catholic couple.   The floor -- The Presence of God and His Providence -- everything begins here.  This is the most fundamental piece of the whole metaphor.  We need to be in contact with "I AM" with God who is the source of all reality.  We can't forget that The four legs Leg 1 -- the husband's commitment to his own interior integration and his own human formation  Leg 2.  the wife's commitment to her own interior integration, her own human formation  Leg 3.  Understanding Attachment needs and integrity needs.   Leg 4.  Internal Family Systems  -- Episode 60 --  How well do you really know your spouse?   The frame and the box spring -- the firm, unwavering commitment of the husband his marriage vows and the wife to her marriage vows -- separately.  Independently The mattress  Empathetic attunement -- covered that in episode 65, last episode   Two pillows:  Self-acceptance and Spouse-acceptance -- this is what we are focusing on today.   Pillows support us, comfort us.   Great security with pillows Pam travels with her pillow -- learned this from her friend Cabrina -- comfort in having your own pillow  Comfort in being accepted by someone who knows you.   Bottom Sheet:  sexual attraction, the intensity of sexual passion Top Sheet:  Communication between the spouses The blankets:  human warmth, emotional connection Covering today Four Bedposts -- imagine two spiral intertwined, like the double-helix structure of DNA -- these are the four pillars of Catholic resilience, going all the way back to episode 4 of this podcast   Mindset Heartset Bodyset Soulset Covering today: The canopy and the curtains -- to protect privacy and propriety or to hide dysfunction, exploitation, even abuse.   Covering today:  The sham, the bedspread, and the bedskirt -- Used to cover up the real bed, give an impression of the state of married life to the world.   Bedposts Four Sets Bodyset, Mindset, Heartset and Soulset  Double helix structure -- the husband's strand and the wife's strand interwoven, entwined together like the double-helix structure of DNA rising up overhead, looking down on the bed  Dynamism of Sets -- not static -- our sets shift, they vary as a function of our parts and what is activated and not activated within us in a given moment.  Descriptions review from way back in Episode 4  Bodyset is how our body affects us, how our physical reactions impact us and our dispositions and inclinations.   Mindset is essentially a frame of mind.  Our mindset is the position of our intellect, and how we apply reason to our situation and our experiences.  Heartset is the dispositions or the orientation of our heart, the emotional and intuitive ways of our heart.   Soulset is essentially our attitude of soul.  It is the disposition of our spirit, or how our souls is oriented.  It can operate independently of mindset and heartset.  Our soulset reflects how we see God, and how we see ourselves in relationship with God, how we see God viewing us.  Our soulset very much depends on the virtues we have acquired, especially the virtues of faith, hope and charity.  Our soulset is also very dynamic, it can change rapidly A lot of your human formation is being aware of your own sets -- Bodyset, Mindset, Heartset and Soulset   So much of your empathy for your spouse will involve reading your spouse's sets -- Bodyset, Mindset, Heartset and Soulset Will this legitimate sexual experience be good for your spouse's mind, heart, soul and body, right now, in these circumstances?  Where is she emotionally, relationally with you?  How is she doing physically right now, how is her soul? Paying attention to common, repeated relational patterns or cycles that happen between you and your spouse.  Our parts have very different experiences of sexual intimacy Definition of parts:  Discussed this at length in episodes 60 and 61.  Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  IFS therapist Robert Falconer calls parts "insiders."  Each part also has its own approach to sexuality.   One part may be blended within you  Your spouse may be blended in a part  Parts can switch -- episode 61 Fractured, Fragmented Sex in Catholic Marriages described how parts in a sexual encounter can switch rapidly.   Bodyset is how our body affects us, how our physical reactions impact us and our dispositions and inclinations. We are embodied beings, body and soul composites.  Our physical bodies have a huge impact on us.  So our bodyset is the impact of our bodily states on us.   For example, if we are exhausted from a lack of sleep – that has an impact on us.  Obviously our bodyset is dynamic and can change as well. Understanding bodyset is so important in marriage because the bodies of the husband and wife are so united.   Body has a huge impact on our relating.   The bodies of the husband and wife Genesis 2:21-25   So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman, for out of Man[e] this one was taken.” Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed.  Mark 10:6-9  -- these are the words of Jesus  But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.' ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”  1 Corinthians 7:4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.   What do I mean by understanding bodyset  Example of a wife Carol feeling "tired" -- what might that mean? Hard day -- physical labor  Illness -- coming down with a cold.  Medical condition.   Psychosomatic expression of distress I am not feeling well emotionally  Firefighting part of the wife that is covering up anger at the husband?   Example of headache -- parts generating a headache.  But not all of the spouse.   Example of the wife's cycles  For some wives, sexual desire is so mediated by hormonal levels -- so body based Parts of the husband can interpret a lack of sexual desire this day as rejection, as evidence of being unloved or unlovable, undesirable -- all that could change in a few days.  Example of Bill from the last episode "I really get turned on when my wife bites me, it helps me to have sex with her, I find I don't have to use Viagra then -- is that ok, or is it better for me to use the Viagra?  I don't want to not be able to have the fullness of sexual intimacy with her…"  Bill's difficulties achieving and maintaining an erection are not purely a medical/physical issue -- he doesn't need the Viagra when his wife bites him.   Something is going on with his bodyset -- what is attractive and arousing about the biting?  It has a meaning to it.   Mindset is essentially a frame of mind.  Our mindset is the position of our intellect, and how we apply reason to our situation and our experiences, including our sexual experiences. Our mindset is dynamic and changes – we can have a very positive outlook at one point in time and a very negative one at another point in time and look at the same set of circumstances.  Our mindset greatly influences not only our thinking but also our behavior.   Example of the tired wife Carol-- difficult day at work, difficult time with the children before her husband Ben comes home from working late.  Ben kisses the kids good night, he's ready for a late supper and maybe some romance, but the wife's mindset is one of Ben, You've left me alone with the kids repeatedly  You don't understanding how much that demands from me   It's not fair that you just get to come home, eat a fine supper that I prepared, kiss the kids and expect that I'm just going to be all into you and your wonderfulness, Ben. At this point, Carol's firefighting part that carries fatigue may lift and the anger in an exiled part may come through, an example of her heartset affecting her mindset  Speaking from her anger, Carol says.  You don't really understand me, or you wouldn't be inviting me to bed like this.  You need to help our more around here or I won't want any more kids, not if I have to raise them and care for them by myself.  No sex for you, Ben  Ben's mindset -- shifting from how wonderful his wife is to his protector parts planning how to defend against her criticisms of him.  Carol, you're being unreasonable. What did I do wrong?  I came home from a long day at work, busting my hump to provide for this family and you lay into me as though it's a bad thing for a husband to be attracted to his wife.   Heartset is the dispositions or the orientation of our heart, the emotional and intuitive ways of our heart.  Heartset is essential our emotional state and the positions we take because of our feelings.  Heartset is even more dynamic and changeable for many people than mindset.  And it very much influences our mindset  Example of the heartset of the husband Ben in our example Ben's anger flaring up -- not fair that you say I don't help -- that's not what Carol said, but in a defensive mindset, Ben hears it that way.  Mindset and heartset working together.   Carol's heart is closed, sees Ben as intrusive, protectors have impulses to attack and withdraw from him into the kitchen out of anger and fear.   Soulset is essentially our attitude of soul.  It is the disposition of our spirit, or how our souls is oriented.  It can operate independently of mindset and heartset.  Our soulset reflects how we see God, and how we see ourselves in relationship with God, how we see God viewing us.  Our soulset very much depends on the virtues we have acquired, especially the virtues of faith, hope and charity.  Our soulset is also very dynamic, it can change rapidly Carol and Ben not seeing each other as children of God.  Not seeing themselves as one flesh.  Not motivated by charity.  Invoking justice and fairness, not authentic agape love.   What would happen if they stopped and prayed their family rosary together, late, just the two of them, after the kids went down.  What if instead of making romantic overtures toward his wife, he volunteered to clean up with her in the kitchen?   Bedspread, Bedskirt, shams  these cover up the bed, give a favorable and even a false impression to the world of what the bed is like, keep the real bed under wraps, as it were. Can also give a false impression to us.   Very natural to us to curate our social image, keeping up appearances  We don't want detraction  But we need to be real.  We need to see what is real about ourselves sexually, about our spouses sexually, and about our sexual intimacy.  Canopy Privacy of the marriage bed and what happens on it  Openness to God   Openness to our own parts  Parts have very different attitudes toward our sexual expression e.g. latent anger -- if not given voice within ourselves, increases likelihood of enactment   Openness to God  In prayer Individually  Together  Sharing with each other what comes of the prayer.  Mutual discernment.   Through others   Openness to trusted, competent others who love us  May as well Luke 8:17 For nothing is hidden that will not be disclosed, nor is anything secret that will not become known and come to light.  Psalm 90:8 You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your countenance.   Major impediment to this openness and relating within yourself, with your spouse and with God [Drum roll]   Shame Check out episodes 37-49, which are a whole course on shame and overcoming shame.   Diagnostic -- what am I reluctant to reveal?  And why Again, asking our parts inside.   Fear, shame, guilt, -- If so, of what  If you seek you'll find.  Many people never seek  May be very surprising.   What happens in secret will be proclaimed from the rooftops.   Ways to share sexual aspects with others  Respect for spouse Your husband is a beloved son of God; your wife is a beloved daughter of God.   Asking permission to discuss with a particular person Resistance is often within our own parts -- externalized to the spouse.  But have you asked your spouse?   Bringing in parts language for your spouse. She never wants to have sexual intimacy with me vs. a part of her seems to really avoid having sexual intimacy with me.   Not all of my spouse.   How we speak, think influences our attitudes.   Positive frame -- wanting to make things better  Owning your own part of any of the challenges -- beams and specks  Can share frustration, but it should be more than just venting, a spouse bashing session.  But I might take that if it's the only way a person can start sharing anything about a dysfunctional sexual pattern in relationship -- depends on maturity.   No gossiping  Clarity of language -- self-abuse instead of masturbation.  Euphemisms or ways to skirt the reality of an action.    Whatever facilitates communication -- street terms in the formal terms are not understood.   Victorian age -- sense of propriety.   Choosing a professional Marital therapy can be extremely helpful.   Therapist or a life coach or a spiritual director or some other professional role Professionals often have their own sexual issues that impact how they relate with their clients.   Many Catholic professionals may not really hold to what the Church teaches Ignorance  Professional formation   Personal sexual issues that are getting stirred up You can ask.  You can challenge your therapist -- he or she doesn't have to reveal everything to you, not entitled to know all about your therapist's sexual life, but the question can spur your therapist to think.   I am into clients challenging their therapists And therapists rising to the challenges.   Use your judgement, powers of discernment.  Seek and ye shall find.   What about when a husband doesn't want his wife to discuss her experience of sexuality with him with anyone else.  Or if a wife doesn't want her husband to discuss their sex life with any other person?  Then what?  Consider the reasons why Safety, Security   Emotions Fear  Shame  Guilt   Consider what parts of the spouse might be activated by the idea of the sharing  See if the spouse could discuss the reasons for the resistance to sharing.   Spouse may not know Gentleness and kindness here, if you are capable of them Float the possibility of discussing together – marital therapy, for example.   If continued refusal  If your situation is not urgent or abusive, consider waiting Prayer, sacrifice  Revisiting  Consider a hypothetical   If situation is urgent or abusive  Examples domestic violence  harm to children  Gaslighting – psychological manipulation around sex   Talk about it with someone you trust anyway  Spouse has no right to your absolute silence.   Example of confession No right to violate your dignity as a child of God.  The process of problem solving Review of the three parts of the moral act from last episode, Episode 69 -- example of Edward and Vera -- Very has some difficulty with sexual arousal, finds when Edward stimulates her with his fingers, she loosens up, becomes much more responsive, it's easier for her to have vaginal intercourse -- really common situation.  But Edward has noticed that he tends to come to orgasm when his wife does -- that is so exciting for him, and he has had a history of premature ejaculation in the past.  Fumbling around, not able to get inside of Vera in time.   Three Parts of the Moral Act Object = the action or inaction chosen -- the what --  Intention/Motive -- the reason for doing the action or not doing an action  Circumstances - -- situational factors which may affect the morality of an action -- who, what, where, how.   All three of these, the object, the intention, and the circumstances must be evaluated to determine if a moral act is good or evil. All three must be good for an act to be moral.    Analyze the object first, then the intention, then the circumstances Object -- Vaginal intercourse-- would be nice for both to experience orgasm, maybe even at the same time.   Intention/Motive/End  Edward and Vera are open to life, intending to have vaginal intercourse.  Very open to the enhancing the marital bond, connected with each other Circumstances  Bodyset Being really aware of body responses, especially around ejaculation.   Solution may be for him to go a lot slower Or to be already inside her  And to stimulate her while inside her or afterward.   Practicing -- later, not long after the Edward's refractory period ends Refractory period = the recovery phase after orgasm during which it is physiologically impossible for a man to have additional orgasms.[   Mindset Openness to ideas, receptivity, solution finding focus vs. an intellectual rigidity, fixed ideas of how things should be and how to get there.     Heartset Can they be playful about this -- have a sense of lightness of humor? - or does there need to be a dark seriousness about it, a deep sense of gravity.   Soulset -- sense of Divine Providence being operative in the sexual intimacy challenges.   Importance of the hierarchy of priorities  1942 essay by C.S. Lewis, “First and Second Things.”  Lewis wrote: “To sacrifice the greater good for the less and then not to get the lesser good after all—that is the surprising folly . . . Every preference of a small good to a great, or a partial good to a total good, involves the loss of the small or partial good for which the sacrifice was made. Apparently the world is made that way. If Esau really got his pottage in return for his birthright, then Esau was a lucky exception. You can't get second things by putting them first; you can get second things only by putting first things first.” Don't want to sacrifice a greater good for a lesser good.  Sexual pleasure -- the lesser good -- procreation and the emotional bond of the spouses are the greater goods.   Matthew 6:33 Seek ye therefore first the kingdom of God, and his justice, and all these things shall be added unto you. If parts are acting autonomously, disconnected from the core self, they always get what they don't want.  Neglect of the two great goods -- seeking pleasure, gratification through more intense orgasms is not the way to sustain relationships. Sometimes that won't happen.   Having sexual intimacy this way is so countercultural, so opposite of the what the world tells us.  WebMD -- 14 reasons you should have sex now  It's exercise  Good for a woman's heart -- decreases risk of heart disease  Sex can help with pain  Lowers stress -- e.g. public speaking (masturbation doesn't count)  Longer life expectancy for women  Slightly greater cognitive capacity for 50+ crowd -- number recall, basic math  Better mood   Bonding to your partner  two guys snuggling More sex, lower weight Better mental health More common-cold fighting antibodies Helps with sleep Greater likelihood of a baby -- more sex primes women for conception and improves sperm quality in men. Better quality of life in old age, health and happiness Edward and Vera are moving toward vaginal intercourse as the focus and center of the sexual intimacy of the spouse Openness to procreation -- this is the procreative act.   Bond of the spouses  In the missionary position, spouses seeing each other, experiencing with each other Vs. being caught up in a self-absorbed experience of orgasm, for example   Jesus very understanding and forgiving of sexual sins  Examples Woman caught in the act of adultery Jn 8-1-11   Pharisees asking whether or not to stone her, trying to trap Jesus.  10 Jesus straightened up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”  She said, “No one, sir.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.” Woman at the well -- John 4, 5 husbands, cohabiting with a man not her husband.   Eating with Sinners, professional mistresses or prostitutes at Matthew the tax collector's house.  MT 9:10 And as he sat at dinner in the house, many tax collectors and sinners came and were sitting with him and his disciples. Reaching out to sexual outcasts  He saw what goods their parts were seeking in their sexual behaviors Love, care, attention, protection,  Parts separate from the core self always get what they don't want.  He will help you and your spouse, too, if he's invited into this realm.    Loving each other in the sexual intimacy Charity is possible.   1 Cor 13: 4-7 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;  it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.  It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Pilgrimage  Human formation We all need help  We all need structure  We all need support.   Relaunch discussion.   Excited that our landing page at soulsandhearts.com/rcc is updated and it has the video presentation on the relaunch we did on May 25 now posted.  Check that out, consider prayerfully about joining us, and if your discernment says "yes"  Get on the waiting list --    We have more than 120 on the waiting list so far. Not all of them will join.  We are taking about 80 new members in, we're keeping it manageable -- we don't want to lose the Catholic touch.   Waiting list, first chance, you'll get an email on June 1 with a link to register for the RCC.    By June 4, landing page.   Join with your spouse Conversation hours Tuesday and Thursday starting on  June 3, 8, 10, 15, 17, 22, 24, and 29 -- 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM Eastern time -- 317.567.9594.   IIC 70A  Latent Emotions Around Sexuality Shame  Guilt  Grief  Fear  Sadness  

1. God Loves US in Spite of our Sins 1:3, 14 - 16, 23, 24 But He Will Discipline US! 2. God Loves Us in Spite of our Weakness 3. He Orchestrates All Thing in His Providence 9 - 11, 17 - 22

Intro It is good to have you with us,  Peter Malinoski, clinical psychologist  Weekly Podcast Interior Integration for Catholics  Part of our Online outreach Souls and Hearts and soulsandhearts.com  Which is all about your human formation, all about shoring up your natural foundation for a solid Catholic spiritual life.   Episode 66 Acceptance vs. Endorsement: A Critical Difference in Catholic Marriages.    we are in the middle of a series on Sexuality in Catholic Marriages, but there is so much in here that is relevant about all kinds of close relationships.   Where have we been?  Review the bed -- remember this canopied marriage bed represents the sexual life of a married Catholic couple.   The floor -- The Presence of God and His Providence -- everything begins here.  This is the most fundamental piece of the whole metaphor.  We need to be in contact with "I AM" with God who is the source of all reality.  We can't forget that The four legs Leg 1 -- the husband's commitment to his own interior integration and his own human formation  Leg 2.  the wife's commitment to her own interior integration, her own human formation  Leg 3.  Understanding Attachment needs and integrity needs.   Leg 4.  Internal Family Systems  -- Episode 60 --  How well do you really know your spouse?  In that episode, I made five bold assertions: You don't really know your spouse.   Your spouse doesn't really know you.   Your Father doesn't or didn't really know your mother  Your mother doesn't or didn't really know your father  And you don't really know you.   Gave evidence for those bold claims are likely, not going to repeat all that evidence here, you can go to Episode 60 and listen to them again.   For those of you listeners who are married: Can seem like spouse have such widely varying modes of operating  like they can be even different people when they are in these different modes of being.  Remember what your spouse or someone close to you is like when they are different states -- like when they are really angry, or really sad, or really anxious or really happy.  How different they think, how their worldview changes in these different states.   what we call parts:  Parts are constellations of emotions, body sensations, thoughts, feelings, impulses, assumptions about the world and so many other things.   Internal Family Systems thinking help us to make sense of our own internal experience and others' internal experience, breaking us out of the model that we have just one monolithic, homogenous personality.   That's what episodes 60 and 61 are all about   Surprising how not integrated the husband's internal object representations of his wife are -- surprising how unintegrated a wife's internal object representation of her husband can be.  How confused.   Definition time with Dr. Pete,  Definition of internal object -- Roots in Freud, really developed my Melanie Klein: Internal object refers to the mental representation that results from how we have taken others inside of us and viewed them.  Not necessarily similar to who the person actually is, it's how we construe the person to be, which depends heavily on our subjective experiences, including how we experience ourselves.  Two dimensional -- sometimes even one dimensional You are the person who is supposed to make me feel better about myself, help me avoid shame   Fragmented  How much husbands and wives don't see in and about each other.     Three of these four legs are really helpful in accepting what the actual realities are inside your spouse.   The fourth one is great to have, but it's not as essential.  It's the one that we sometimes require first, though Just tell me what's going on -- assumption that she knows what's going on.  90% unconscious.   Sometimes she just cant.   The frame and the box spring -- the firm, unwavering commitment of the husband his marriage vows and the wife to her marriage vows -- separately.  Independently The mattress  Empathetic attunement -- covered that in episode 65, last episode   Two pillows:  Self-acceptance and Spouse-acceptance -- this is what we are focusing on today.   Pillows support us, comfort us.   Great security with pillows Pam travels with her pillow -- learned this from her friend Cabrina -- comfort in having your own pillow  Comfort in being accepted by someone who knows you.   Bottom Sheet:  sexual attraction, the intensity of sexual passion Top Sheet:  Communication between the spouses The blankets:  human warmth, emotional connection Four Bedposts -- imagine two spiral intertwined, like the double-helix structure of DNA Mindset  Heartset  Bodyset  Soulset   The canopy and the curtains -- to protect privacy and propriety or to hide dysfunction, exploitation, even abuse.   The sham, the bedspread, and the bedskirt -- Used to cover up the real bed, give an impression of the state of married life to the world.   Lay of the land:   Loving -- three elements:  Benevolence, Capacity, Commitment/Consistency Not only do we not understand our spouses very well We also don't accept the realities about our spouses that we do understand  or the realities that we could understand if we allowed ourselves to see. But so often we parts that don't want us to see who our spouses really are.   Some of that is due to confusion between acceptance and endorsement.   Acceptance vs. endorsement -- Definitions Acceptance -- acknowledging the reality of who I am in my entirety, all my parts with their burdens, all the roughness, the wounds, the disorder, the imperfections, all the baggage, all the "stuff."  It means admitting, conceding all the things that are really true about myself.    acknowledging the reality who my spouse Pam is, in her entirety, in her complete being, with her parts, with her perspectives, with her virtues her vices.  Right at this moment  Endorsement on the other hand.  means essentially approving or embracing as good some feature within myself or my spouse.  So husband can accept the idea that his wife is abusing painkillers without endorsing her misuse of pain medication.   Why we struggle with accepting something about our spouse, even when we know we don't have to endorse it  Strong motivation to not see our spouses as they really are To not see the injuries, the deficiencies, the disorder, the areas of stunted development -- how wounded they really are.   If we saw all those things, how would I get me needs met from my spouse? Needs for mommy, daddy  Needs for God?  Broken idols  Not gonna happen   Can be very difficult our parts to give up their illusions about the meaning and function of our spouse in our lives Parts want to be redeemed  Parts want to be loved  Parts want to have hope that things will be better in the future, that there is light at the end of the tunnel  We want to outsource the messy business of learning to accept and love ourselves.  But no one can do that for us, no one can take our place in loving ourselves in an ordered way.   So there is this tendency toward idealization of our spouses But when parts are disappointed, devaluation.  Pendulum swings the other way.   So much this is outside our awareness We could say it's unconscious   Parts are impelling us to try to get our needs met, parts are acting with good intentions, in ways we don't realize Often very maladaptive   When they do that, they tend to bring about the exact opposite of what they hope for e.g. make spouse God -- the intention is to find safety and security  But that breaks down.   God loves us, and he is jealous for us, takes our idols away   Often no outside perspective   Sometimes we are motivated by our own parts to stick our heads in the sand and not see.  Like an ostrich.  OK, so I looked up the ostrich thing.  I suspected maybe that ostriches were getting a bad rap.  In reality, Ostriches don't bury their heads in the sand when they feel threatened.  That's a myth.  The make their nests in holes they dig in the earth and the ostrich hen puts her head in the hole and turns the eggs. So it can look like the birds are burying their heads in the sand.  -- little zoological fact for today Where were we?  Yes, so often we have parts that don't want us to see who our spouses really are.  The ostrich metaphor didn't work out, so let's talk about monkey, instead.  Three monkeys  Three monkeys named Mizaru, Kikazaru, Iwazaru who are about 400 years old.  We're talking about some old monkeys here.   Mizaru -- hands over his eyes Kikazaru -- hands over his ears Iwazaru -- hands over his mouth.   See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no Evil:   From wikipedia:  The source that popularized this pictorial maxim is a 17th-century carving over a door of the famous Tōshō-gū shrine in Nikkō, Japan. The carvings at Tōshō-gū Shrine were carved by Hidari Jingoro, and believed to have incorporated Confucius's Code of Conduct, using the monkey as a way to depict man's life cycle. There are a total of eight panels, and the iconic three wise monkeys picture comes from panel 2. The philosophy, however, probably originally came to Japan with a Tendai-Buddhist legend, from China in the 8th century (Nara Period). It has been suggested that the figures represent the three dogmas of the so-called middle school of the sect.  We can be like those monkeys, but not motivated by social harmony like in Confucianism.   Motivated by defensive self-protection.   If I don't see it, if I don't hear it, I don't have to deal with it.  I don't have to acknowledge it, I don't have to address it.   Denial Avoidance Withdrawal James 4:11-12  11 Do not speak evil against one another, brethren. He that speaks evil against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. 12 There is one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you that you judge your neighbor? If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.   Acceptance without judging the soul of another  Not judging self -- soul St. Paul --  I don't judge myself.  1 Cor. 4:3 But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. I do not even judge myself.   Not judging others' souls -- our spouse's souls We don't really know them   Cautions to new therapists Often tempted to align with the client's parts against a spouse.   We can and often should judge behavior.  Catholic Theologian Edward Sri - Who Am I to Judge?: Responding to Relativism with Logic and Love -- excellent book.   We can and often need to judge actions Some are obviously wrong and easily identifiable as bad.   Affairs Drinking and drug use Sexual abuse of children Violence Financial irresponsibility -- gambling, compulsive shopping Some are not so obvious Gaslighting  Psychological Manipulation  My experience with cults  Subtle abandonment, undermining  Subtle shaming   Need for limits and boundaries Near occasion of sin   Complicated when we've been punished for having emotions or desires -- no distance.  Lots of misunderstanding -- bad spiritual advice  e.g. Fr. Tadeusz Dajczer -- p. 130 "The Gift of Faith"  -- imprimatur "Anxiety and sadness are always bad and always flow from self-love."  Nonsense  1769 In the Christian life, the Holy Spirit himself accomplishes his work by mobilizing the whole being, with all its sorrows, fears and sadness, as is visible in the Lord's agony and passion. Jesus was anxious -- he was like us in all things but sin.  St. Paul.  Garden of Gethsemane  Mark 14:32-34  And they went to a place called Gethsemane. And he said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” 33 And he took with him Peter and James and John, and began to be greatly distressed and troubled. 34 And he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death. Remain here and watch.”[d] 35  Luke 22:  And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. And being in an agony, he prayed the longer. 44 And his sweat became as drops of blood, trickling down upon the ground.   WebMD Hematidrosis, or hematohidrosis, is a very rare medical condition that causes you to ooze or sweat blood from your skin when you're not cut or injured. Doctors don't know exactly what triggers hematidrosis, in part because it's so rare. They think it could be related to your body's "fight or flight" response. Tiny blood vessels in the skin break open. The blood inside them may get squeezed out through sweat glands, or there might be unusual little pockets within the structure of your skin. These could collect the blood and let it leak into follicles (where the hair grows) or on to the skin's surface. Research suggests that tiny blood vessels that cause bloody sweat are more likely to rupture under intense stress. The stress can be physical, psychological, or both. Jesus was sad Lazarus  -- John 11:33-36  Jesus wept over Lazarus  33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved[e] in his spirit and greatly troubled. 34 And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” 35 Jesus wept. 36 So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”  Wept over Jerusalem -- Luke 19:41   Mary, conceived without original sin was anxious -- searching for the 12 year old Jesus. Reflects a failure to understand the human person and a failure to understand human formation.   CCC on emotions.  1763 The term "passions" belongs to the Christian patrimony. Feelings or passions are emotions or movements of the sensitive appetite that incline us to act or not to act in regard to something felt or imagined to be good or evil.  1764 The passions are natural components of the human psyche; they form the passageway and ensure the connection between the life of the senses and the life of the mind. Our Lord called man's heart the source from which the passions spring.40 Anxiety and Sadness are emotions.  Emotions don't carry a moral weight in and of themselves. 1767 In themselves passions are neither good nor evil. They are morally qualified only to the extent that they effectively engage reason and will.  We may have parts of us that hate other parts of us Catholics often have parts that hate their spouses.  I mean hate.  Can be really threatening to think that my spouse hates me.  Easier and more accurate to accept that a part of my spouse hates me.   What carries the moral weight is what we do with our emotions Hatred as an emotion  Hatred as a position.   Bad idea not to accept that they exist -- if we see them as "bad." parts of us are tempted to suppress them Revenge of the repressed.   Same thing with desires, impulses, attitudes, intentions, thoughts Case of scrupulosity   How it leads to self-absorption, difficult loving each other  Battle royale inside among parts  Sympathy   Limits Catechism on Marriage  1643:  "Conjugal love involves a totality, in which all the elements of the person enter - appeal of the body and instinct, power of feeling and affectivity, aspiration of the spirit and of will. It aims at a deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul; CCC 1770 Moral perfection consists in man's being moved to the good not by his will alone, but also by his sensitive appetite, as in the words of the psalm: "My heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God."46 But we are wounded.   You are gravely wounded Your spouse is gravely wounded.   Two gravely wounded people together Apollo 13 scene -- describe it.  Kevin Bacon and  Tom Hanks release the service module form the command module.  damage to the service module as it was jettisoned from the Command module.   In the desert.  -- Bring in some Fr. Dajczer here.   Signs of non-acceptance of another person.   Too much focus on the spouse -- the spouses actions, the spouses thoughts, emotions, almost exclusively external perspective so that there is not a balance between a focus on the other and a focus on me.   Too much of a focus on systems -- the back and forth.   Systemic problems -- problems between spouse rather than within spouses -- e.g. communication He just doesn't know how to put his love into words  Communication issues  We just don't match up very well, we're not in synch.   Time  Dwelling in the past She never used to be this way  Living in the golden years, pining for the  Flying to the future If I change this thing about myself, or if we do marital therapy, my husband will be so much better in the future   It will be better when We move to a real house from this little apartment  When we have our first child  When he gets a promotion and there's not so much financial stress  When the last kid gets into school and we're not always changing diapers  When the last one graduates and we are through the tumultuous teenagers at home phase  When we retire.   How much am I in the present when thinking about my spouse   Harboring bitterness, nurturing it, feeding grievances.   Resignation vs. acceptance Resignation -- downheartedness and lack of hope for change.   Certainty in the descriptions of the other spouse Broad generalizations of the other spouse -- untempered, not nuanced, not appreciating the different dimensions and parts of the spouse.   Lack of openness to new or deeper perspectives -- clinging to current assumptions Spouse is fearfully and wonderfully made.   Two-dimensional representations He's withdrawn and silent, he doesn't talk, we're just like roomates, he has no emotions.   One-dimensional representations He's a narcissist.   Pendulum swings upon discovery.   Loss of a sense of Providence.  This is the floor -- the rock solid foundation is your childlike trust in God's Providence And like other little children, you be imperfect, not do thing well, and make mistakes and still be cherished and loved by God.   Some with an intellectual understanding of Providence But it's just head knowledge   We have parts that feels safer if they are driving our bus, if they are in control.   Acceptance in the sex life.   Is among the trickiest if not the most tricky area in the marriage.   We will discuss this more next week.   Recommendations Let's go a lot deeper.  Have the courage.  Have the trust that your needs will be met, not necessarily by your spouse, but by others, including God and Mary.   Letting go of assumptions -- some of them very handy, seem helpful, seem like they explain things -- but they may not be true.  Filtered thr ough our lenses, through our parts' perspectives.   Prayer:   My Lord, My Lady, I accept whatever is in my spouse as reality.   Lord, what would you have me to see, understand, and accept in my spouse.   Why, Lord, are you showing me this new thing about my spouse now, at this point in my life? Time each day to consider your spouse -- think of her, think of him Write about her, about him -- putting experiences into words.    Break up patterns - mix it up, try new things  -- new behaviors  Being a sounding board -- putting experience into words with another person.  A fresh set of eyes.   Pilgrimage  Human formation We all need help  We all need structure  We all need support.   Relaunch discussion.   Get on the waiting list -- soulsandhearts.com/rcc  more than 100 on the waiting list so far.   Mark your calendars  Tuesday, May 25 from 7:30 to 8:45 PM meeting about the RCC reopening, Q&A.  -- that meeting will be on our landing page -- register for it.  Also the link will go out in our next email to our waitlist which will be sent on Tuesday, May 4 Ad for a researcher, dissertation -- student  Second Wednesday Zoom Meeting Wednesday May 12 7:30 PM to 8:45 PM -Time - that one is all about the changes in the community.  Conversation hours Tuesday and Thursday May 4 and 6 -- 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM Eastern time  

Man, for many centuries, has believed that his words control outcomes, and with those words, therefore controls what God [can] see, do, or love. These believers do not accept that this does not allow a supreme deity to be so... but come against their gospel & scriptures, you blaspheme. And if you tell me I can't judge you, well.. again... you sacrilegious heretic! You blaspheme! God sees, hears, & you will Account for refusing His Providence, MAN. (Episode cover art retrieved from boldomatic.com) --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/christiantruth/message

Intro:  This is Interior Integration for Catholics, it's great that you can join us, and today we are wrestling with the deep attachment needs and the deep integrity needs that Catholic spouses have.  In this life, we all have deep attachment needs and deep integrity needs We all struggle with deep attachment needs and deep integrity needs -- whether we realize it or not.   And some of those needs are unmet.  They cause us difficulties and suffering and tension in our important relationships Those unmet needs are part of being human in our fallen world.     How we choose to handle those attachment needs and integrity needs really determines how well our close relationships, especially our marriages go.   How the husband chooses to address his attachment needs and integrity needs will have a huge impact on his relationship with his wife How the wife chooses to address her attachment needs and her integrity needs will have a huge impact on her relationship with her husband.   Meeting these attachment needs and integrity needs well is foundational, essential for you to have a psychologically sound, a solid marriage relationship.   Today, in episode 62 of Interior Integration for Catholics, released on April 5, 2021, the sixth in our subseries on sexuality in Catholic marriages And it is titled:  Unmet Attachment Needs, Unmet Integrity Needs  we won't just lay out all the definitions of our terms what are attachment needs, Dr. Peter?   What are integrity needs?  We're not just going to discuss how these needs impact the rest of the marriage relationship  We're not just going to explore how sex in the Catholic marriage bed is impacted by these needs and our responses to them  No, wait, there's much more  We're going to also dive into how do you engage with these needs constructively -- how do we start on a course of action to really meet these needs.  So stay with me until the end and you will get really specific recommendations for setting up a personalized program to have your personal set of attachment needs and integrity needs met.   This is such an important area that we are going to spend some time on it, more than just this one podcast.   I am Catholic psychologist Peter Malinoski, and I am bringing my 20 years of experience in the clinical trenches with real Catholics with real problems to bear on this question of attachment needs and integrity needs in this episode for you.   This podcast is part of Souls and Hearts, our online outreach -- check us out at soulsandhearts.com Souls and Hearts is all about shoring up our natural foundation for the Catholic spiritual life, all about overcoming psychological obstacles to being loved and to loving God and neighbor.   Brief Review  Each episode stand on its own, no need to review if you don't want to, if you're just jumping in here that's great I do review from time to time because reviewing helps with spiral learning, with retaining things And because this podcast is programmatic, episodes build on each other, we're not just doing little isolated soundbites of information, odd, assorted nuggets. This is meant to be a program in your Catholic human formation to help you focus inward on your interior integration -- to help you bring together the different parts of yourself into unity and harmony in the natural realm So let's do a quick rewind here, just to catch you all up to date: [Insert review/rewind sound effect] I introduced the model of a Catholic Canopied Marriage Bed to represent the sexual life of a married Catholic couple in Episode 58.   The Catholic Canopied Married Bed has these interrelated parts The floor -- A deep abiding trust in the Presence of God and His Providence -- we started here in episode 59  The four legs -- these four supports hold up the Catholic marriage bed.   Leg 4.  Internal Family Systems Approaches to understanding myself and my spouse Covered this conceptually in episodes 60 and again with a story of a Catholic couples' problems in a sexual relationship in episode 61.   Leg 3.  Understanding my own and my spouse's attachment needs and integrity needs   -- this is what we are focus on today. In Episode 57 we discussed how the one main psychological reason why Catholic marriages fail is our response and reactions to deep unmet needs   Leg 2.  the wife's commitment to her own interior integration, her own human formation Leg 1.  the husband's commitment to his own interior integration and his own human formation The frame and the box spring -- the firm, unwavering commitment of the husband his marriage vows and the wife to her marriage vows -- separately.  Independently  The mattress  Empathetic attunement   Two pillows:  Self-acceptance and Spouse-acceptance  Bottom Sheet, the fitted sheet:  sexual attraction, the intensity of sexual passion -- the eros  Top Sheet:  Communication between the spouses  The blankets:  human warmth, emotional connection  Four Bedposts  Mindset Heartset Bodyset Soulset The canopy and the curtains -- to protect privacy and propriety or to hide dysfunction, exploitation, even abuse.   The sham, the bedspread, and the bedskirt -- Used to cover up the real bed, give an impression of the state of married life to the world.   All of these elements work together.  Dynamic model, which can change over time.   The Windup / the Hurdle -- What is our situation here?  [Definition time sound effect]:  Definitions:  We all have attachment needs and we all have integrity needs Hard to find good summaries of these needs, hard to find good definitions, so here are my definitions.  Attachment needs = The needs that a child has for a deep and enduring emotional and relational bond with a caregiver, usually a parent, who provides a felt sense of closeness, security, understanding, reassurance in times of trouble, for affection and warmth, and a sense that someone really is looking out for my best interests.   Integrity needs --  drawing from self-psychology here, Heinz Kohut  = The needs a child has for a sense of identity has the following features: A separate existence from others --  I exist in my own right, a separate person  Is bounded, has boundaries  is stable over time and across different situations  Self is regulated  Is integrated -- coherent interconnections inside between aspects of experience -- self-cohesion  Is active, with agency, can effectively function in the world  Is morally good -- ontologically or essentially good and thus has intrinsic value and worth, apart from others' opinions.   Conditions for Secure Attachment -- Daniel Brown and David Elliott -- 2016 Book Attachment Disturbances in Adults -- emphasizes the subjective experience  A felt sense of safety and protection, deep sense of security felt in the bones Not just being safe, but feeling safe  Failure of protection is harder to integrate into  the life narrative, harder to make sense of that abuse.   Need for protection is absolutely fundamental.   Parents who are protective, but not overprotective -- overprotecting children actually leaves them vulnerable to all kinds of problems because of not being able to handle the experience of struggle, trials, and failures.   Feeling seen and known heard and understood -- felt attunement Not just being seen and known, heard or understood -- feeling it, experiencing it  Parents having the not just the awareness, but the capacity to respond to the child in helpful ways, conveying that understanding.  Example of Dad loves you, but he just doesn't know how to show it.  Well, that's not enough.  It's not enough that Dad has good intentions and understand his son, that understand and those intention have be manifested in real behaviors that are attuned to his son.   Recognizing the child's immediate behavior, the child's state of mind, inner experience and the child's developmental capacities e.g. forcing two year olds to share.   Felt comfort, reassurance Not just the actions, but it actually being soothing and helpful with emotional regulations, for example by calming fears  As this is repeatedly provided by the parent, the child gradually develops the inner capacity to self-soothe.   Feeling valued, delighted in, cherished by the attachment figure Joy in who the child is, not what the child does -- "delighting in the child's very being."  Parent believes in the child's goodness -- the child is precious, worth sacrificing for.      Felt support for the best self Felt sense that the parent wills and works toward the highest good for the child.   Parent believes in the child, believes in the chi  Frees the child to explore, experiment, discover, and experience both successes and failures.   Donald Winnicott 1971 play is the medium for self-development -- the parent not needing the child to fit a particular mold or agenda to meet the parent's need or expectations.   Bringing out the uniqueness, the individuality of the child, the child's interests, gifts and talents,  Parent handles the self-assertion of the child, navigates that well so the two can be separate but near.   Conditions for Integrity All of the above.  Each one of us needs help to develop our sense of self, our identity  I exist  I am not dead.  Extreme cases Cotard's syndrome -- walking corpse syndrome.   Cutting behaviors -- seeing the blood flow proves I am alive.   Feeling the pain proves I am alive.   Sexual behaviors -- e.g. orgasm from masturbation Suicide as a way of seeking a pseudo integrity --  If I feel that I don't really exist, then perhaps I shouldn't exist.  Fraud to go on living physically when I am psychological dead, emotionally dead, spiritually dead.   Mass shootings -- a way of being noticed as existing.  I am alive, I matter.   Some people who don't struggle with existence issues often don't understand how these can be such a major problem for those who do struggle with them.   my existence is separate from others --  I exist in my own right, a separate personIs bounded, has boundaries Running away gestures or behaviors by children -- physical distancing -- hiding -- divorcing   My identity is stable over time and across different situations -- there is a continuity  I can regulate myself -- I have some self-control.  We need help from others to learn to manage ourselves -- to internalize the control   Is integrated -- coherent interconnections inside between aspects of experience -- self-cohesion Awareness of our parts  Understanding of our parts -- we have been understood.   Not enough to be understood by others I need to understand myself.   Is active, with agency, can effectively function in the world we've learned social norms and social graces  We've developed talents, capabilities.   Is morally good -- ontologically or essentially good and thus has intrinsic value and worth, apart from others' opinions.  Parts that are lepers, outcasts, unredeemable sinners, tax collectors. We also need to make good choices -- seek what is good, true and beautiful in life Seek and ye shall find  We need to tolerate the suffering that goes with changing and growing.  The Rose:  November 1979 written by Amanda McBroom and sung by Bette Midler It's the heart, afraid of breakingThat never learns to danceIt's the dream, afraid of wakingThat never takes the chanceIt's the one who won't be takenWho cannot seem to giveAnd the soul, afraid of dyingThat never learns to live We need to change and grow, try new ways of being and acting.   The Vision -- here's where we start to bring everything together.  We have attachment needs, we have integrity needs.  We also have parts.  Now we can lump along as we have been, same old limited understanding, same old patterns, same old results.  But what if there were a way to bring these insights about needs and parts together, to understand ourselves and our parts in new ways? Definition of parts:  Discussed this at length in episodes 60 and 61.  Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God and also its own approach to sexuality.  Parts experience them differently  Attachment needs and integrity needs are carried by our parts.  Our parts carry our needs.  This helps us to make so much sense out of our experience.  For us to be able to recognize the parts within us and with others helps so much to bring clarity out of confusion, direction out of being lost.   Because parts may be in awareness or out of awareness in any given moment, we may or may not be conscious of our attachment needs and integrity needs.   Parts with their attachment needs and integrity needs may be activated as well, by external or internal factors.   Parts are on a mission to have attachment needs and integrity needs met.  It's the most important thing for them, often a life and death issue.   So that means they will also try to get them met in our sexual relating -- you heard all about that in episode 61 with Jeff and Joanne and how their parts were working to get their needs met in their sexual encounter.   And that can be a real problem, if those needs really are for a father and a mother.   Idealized Parent Figure Protocol Brown and Elliott As Catholics, we don't just have our earthly father and mother.  As Catholics, our earthly father and our earthly mother are secondary parents. Our primary parents are our spiritual parents -- God our Father and Mary our Mother.   Only God can ultimately meet our attachment needs and our integrity needs St. Augustine in his Confessions, 398 AD, early 40s  You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You.   So how do we begin to address these deep unmet needs in a deliberate, reflective way.   Make time.  This is going to take time.  Many people allocate exactly no time to their human formation.  Some will make time for prayer and for the spiritual life, but they don't think about the psychological lives, their natural foundation.  Can you find 15 minutes or even 10 or 5 minutes per day, at a consistent time to focus on your parts and on your attachment and integrity needs? If not, then you will need some personalized guidance -- therapist or close friend -- some type of individual personal relationship.   Write down when that will be.  Often before prayer  I do it 7 times per day.  7 minutes.   Second, listen to the following reflection.  Only about 6 minutes long 8 minutes long only about 10 minutes long, only about 12 minutes long.  To help you get in touch with your needs.  Take an inventory.   We want to know what your needs are.  Part-focus -- part by part Seek and ye shall find If that seems like too much, get support.  Therapy.   IFS therapist.  IFS-Institute.com Free course on Souls and Hearts -- A Catholics guide to choosing a therapist.   Share what you found with someone you trust.  Make a list of who you might trust with such things reach out. No one to trust?  Get a therapist.   Reflect on your spouse's needs, or another loved one.   Reflection  Closing Next episode will be all about human formation of the wife and the husband in marriage, with a focus on these attachment needs and integrity needs and how they are held by parts.  We will have another example of how these play out in the sexual relationship. And we will start working toward understanding your spouse's parts and the attachment and integrity needs those parts hold.   Trying out a new idea -- an individual conversation hour -- I promise you I will be on my cell phone from 4:30 to 5:30 PM Eastern Time on Tuesday, April 13 to talk with any Interior Integration for Catholics podcast listener about our podcast episodes. Let's have a conversation.  I want to be accessible.  There is no need to email me beforehand or text me or anything like that, just drop in and meet with me by phone.  I'm available.  My cell is 317.567.9594.  I like the phone or Zoom a lot better for relating than email or texts.  Not phone therapy, but really a chance to get into a good conversation about the podcast.  Your reactions, your feedback, whatever you want to talk about with regard to this Interior Integration for Catholics podcast.  And these conversations are private, I won't use anything from them in the podcast without your permission.   It's hard to work on your parts without help -- cue the Resilient Catholic Community.   If this discussion of parts resonates with you -- what would it be like to be working on your human formation, your human development as a Catholic with other Catholics who have the same goals?  What would be like to form real relationships with other on the same path, to journey together?  Get on the waiting list for the RCC --  go to soulsandheart.com/rcc to sign up -- there's no obligation to join, but you will get all kinds of cool free stuff.   I have a special event just for people who are on the RCC waiting list  Our people on the waiting list have been so patient, I am so appreciative, so for those of you on the waiting list, you are all invited to a Zoom meeting  On Tuesday, April 6, 2021 from 7:30 PM to 8:45 PM Eastern time Premium Podcasts each week for our Resilient Catholic community members and our Interior Therapist Community members where we go deeper.   Patronness and Patron

Tonight we picked up with Letter 46 to Anastasia including general rules about staying on the spiritual path. St. Theophan's guidance is very sensible. He begins by encouraging her to pray, read and meditate in order to engage her mind, body and memory in every aspect of her prayer. He does not want it simply to be a discipline for her but rather a relationship. She must labor with all of her strength trusting in God and that He will provide things in His own time and in accord with His Providence. In Letter 47 St. Theophan begins to lay out for her the foundations of a prayer rule. He begins by telling her that this has been the practice of great practitioners of prayer from the beginning. It helps us to avoid laziness but it also helps us to restrain our enthusiasm so that it is always measured. She must not be overly concerned about the number of prayers she is doing but rather the manner in which she is engaging God. One of the great pieces of advice that he offers her goes back to the earliest of the Fathers. He wants her to begin to memorize her prayers and not always be reading from a book. He wants her to have access from her own heart the longings and desires expressed in the prayers that she has memorized. In particular, he encourages her to memorize the Psalms that speak to her soul in a particular way. We will pick up there next time.

The Big Idea of this study is our need to be shown mercy and our need to be merciful. Like forgiveness it is one of the key characteristics of Kingdom of God living. As we approach Easter it is important to remember that there is more going on than meets the eye. We tend to focus on the details of the event and miss the big picture. This in fact is the greatest moment in history. It culminates God’s grand plan to redeem humankind from the dastardly effects of the Fall in early Genesis. This is what the Old Testament stories have been building toward. The Law, the Prophets, the Wisdom Literature are all pointing in this direction. The Crucifixion and Resurrection set in stark contrast the ways of God with the ways of humankind. We see the way the world deals with its problems through the abuse of power, lies and injustice. In Jesus we see how God responds to the challenges of dealing with the human condition with love, forgiveness and mercy. Mercy is one of the characteristics of the Kingdom of God that is in sharp contrast in the Easter event. While Jesus receives anything but mercy during his trial and crucifixion, it all culminates in mercy being offered for all. “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” (2 Cor. 5:21) Our text this week emphasizes the reciprocal nature of mercy. Like forgiveness, what goes around, comes around. Those who give mercy, receive mercy. And mercy is an amazing thing. It is the withholding of punitive consequences to the guilty offender. It is exactly what Jesus has done for us on the cross. There is something good and beautiful about mercy. Like forgiveness, it releases us from the bondage of things that have been done to harm us. In contrast, intolerance and resentment will eat us up. It is far better to live the Jesus way. Questions for Discussion: 1. At several points during the Passion Narrative (The Easter Story) the Gospel writers contrast the attitudes of the enemies of Jesus with Jesus’ attitudes and actions. Where do you see mercy, intolerance and resentment reflected in the story? 2. How and why is mercy less passive than the previous beatitudes? 3. Discuss other examples of mercy in the Old Testament narrative. Why is it so often demonstrated in the history of Israel? 4. Why is showing mercy difficult? 5. Compare the reciprocal nature of both mercy and forgiveness. 6. Discuss other mercy busters that you have experienced. 7. In what ways can you demonstrate mercy in your family, work, and social life? 8. Discuss St. Augustine’s quote: “Trust Your Past to God’s Mercy, Your Present to His Love and the Future to His Providence.”

Intro: Welcome to the podcast Interior Integration for Catholics  Interior Integration for Catholics brings to you in each episode the best psychological information essential for your human formation, knowledge that is fundamental in shoring up the natural foundation for your Catholic spiritual life.   This podcast helps you focus inward on your interior integration -- to help you bring together the different parts of yourself into unity and harmony with God in the natural realm. In this podcast, we confront the tough internal questions we Catholics have in our day-to-day lives, we confront head-on our struggles in the natural realm, the psychological difficulties that keep us from fully loving our Lord and our Lady in a deep, personal, intimate way and living out our vocations, including our vocation to Catholic marriage which necessarily brings in both sexuality and religion. And we're dealing with sexuality and religion in this episode for two primary reasons: first to free you to love God our Father, Jesus our Brother, the Holy Spirit and Our Mother Mary more and more over time and  Second, to love you neighbor as yourself -- And who is your neighbor?  If you are married, your first neighbor, your closest neighbor, the neighbor toward whom you have the most responsibilities is your spouse.  Because of your marriage vows.   I'm clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and I am here with you, to be your host and guide.   This podcast is part of Souls and Hearts, our online outreach at soulsandhearts.com, which is all about shoring up our natural foundation for the Catholic spiritual life, all about overcoming psychological obstacles to being loved and to loving God and neighbor. We are celebrating our one year anniversary.  First podcast launched March 20, 2020  Success The majority of podcasts don't make it to 14 episodes   Because of you Very niche audience  This one has risen to top 10% based on downloads  Tells me there is a hunger out there.    Gratitude  Appreciation  Your support increases my motivation.   This is episode 60, released on March 22, 2021 And it is titled: How Well Do You Really Know Your Spouse?   This is the 12th episode in our series on sexuality, the fourth in our subseries on sexuality in Catholic marriages  Continuing with the model of a Catholic Canopied Marriage Bed to illuminate what happens sexually in Catholic marriages.   Episode 58 -- I provided you with the model of a Catholic canopied marriage bed.   Remember this canopied marriage bed represents the sexual life of a married Catholic couple.   The floor -- The Presence of God and His Providence -- we started here in the last episode, episode 59 The four legs Leg 1 -- the husband's commitment to his own interior integration and his own human formation  Leg 2.  the wife's commitment to her own interior integration, her own human formation  Leg 3.  Understanding my own and my spouse's attachment needs and integrity needs    Leg 4.  Internal Family Systems Approaches to understanding myself and my spouse We are really exploring this leg first, in this podcast episode.   The frame and the box spring -- the firm, unwavering commitment of the husband his marriage vows and the wife to her marriage vows -- separately.  Independently The mattress  Empathetic attunement  Two pillows:  Self-acceptance and Spouse-acceptance  Bottom Sheet:  sexual attraction, the intensity of sexual passion Top Sheet:  Communication between the spouses The blankets:  human warmth, emotional connection Four Bedposts -- imagine two spiral intertwined, like the double-helix structure of DNA Mindset  Heartset  Bodyset  Soulset   The canopy and the curtains -- to protect privacy and propriety or to hide dysfunction, exploitation, even abuse.   The sham, the bedspread, and the bedskirt -- Used to cover up the real bed, give an impression of the state of married life to the world.   Review:  So we've only just begun with this metaphor.  Now starting in the next episode, we are going to walk step by step through all the elements of the Catholic marriage bed, through all the components of married Catholic sexual life.  We're going to cover all the bases slowly and thoroughly so that all components, all the pieces become clear.  We will look at what each part of the Catholic marriage bed looks like when it is healthy as well as what can go wrong with each part of the bed.   Just as important, how all the pieces of the marriage bed, healthy or unhealthy are related to each other, how they interconnect and how those elements of Catholic Married sexual life can change over time.   Over and over and over again, I have had Catholic couples in my office discussing their marital problems, their sexual problems. And over and over and over again, I come to the same conclusion -- Catholic couples who are married, 5, 15, 25, 40 years or more do not really know their spouses.   They know a lot about their spouses biographical details  They know a lot about behaviors their spouses do   But their internalized image of the spouse, their working model of the spouse is way off Very two dimensional  Very simplistic  Interpreted through our own filters and lenses   Lots of reasons for this and we'll get into them today.   So this episode is titled What You Don't Know About Your Spouse Can Hurt Both of You.   So get ready, prepare yourself for light bulbs to switch on and shine brightly as we explore new and much clearer ways of thinking about sexual life in Catholic marriages, grounded in the perennial teachings of the Catholic Church and informed by the best of psychology.  The Windup / the Hurdle -- What is our situation here.  Five Bold claims: You don't really know your spouse.   Your spouse doesn't really know you.   Your Father doesn't or didn't really know your mother  Your mother doesn't or didn't really know your father  And you don't really know you.   Not just talking about troubled marriages here.  Not just talking about Catholic marriages in general.  I'm also talking about those Catholic marriages that you admire.   In these days, very few people really deeply enter into the phenomenological world of anyone -- anyone else or even oneself.   Bold claims.  Explain yourself, Dr. Peter.  I don't know my wife? Not a nice thing to say  Not a comfortable thing to hear'  Maybe even a little insulting  Psalm 139:13-15 For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.  The Unconscious -- so much about ourselves that we don't understand  Old days of doing assessments -- 15 years, Taught it.   Expert in psychological testing Fitness for duty assessments -- Air traffic controllers Some people coming in to really understand themselves better Not understanding ourselves leads us to confusion and distortion in understanding others.  We don't understand ourselves because so much of us in unconscious, mysterious.   Prove it, Dr. Peter One question:   Used to ask it while having people looking at themselves in a full length mirror in my office.   Instead of Dr. Malinoski, the seminarians of one diocese nicknamed me Dr. Malinoscopy.   Who is your Spouse?  Beloved child of God, cherished by God, your Heavenly Father, tenderly loved by your Mother Mary,  part of Christ Himself in his Mystical Body, a partaker in God's divine nature?   We see these realities as through a veil -- I Corinthians 13:12 -- For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully, just as I also have been fully known.  I do not make the claim that I really know myself or my wife.  I thought I did.  I and I think I do better than most husbands know their wives, but that's not saying much.  Just a relative measure, not an absolute measure.   And this is a real problem Not knowing your spouse compromises your ability to love your spouse  Not knowing yourself compromises your ability to love yourself   Three elements of loving Benevolence -- willing the highest good for the other and being ready to sacrifice and suffer to bring about the other person's good   Capacity to Love -- your ability to love Spiritual formation -- virtues  Human formation Self-awareness  Empathetic attunement  Personal Development on the natural realm.   This is what I focus on in this podcast.  All about human formation.  Shoring up the natural foundation for loving God and loving neighbors.   Constancy -- not just one-off acts of charity, but holding a more and more consistent position of charity.  Possessing the virtue of charity toward the spouse.   And where does this ignorance of your spouse most clearly make itself known?  Where is the place where the lack of understanding between Catholic spouses most clearly revealed?  Where does the lack of self-awareness of each spouse and the lack of empathetic attunement between spouse most clearly broadcast itself?  Drumroll   In the Catholic marriage bed.  In the sexual relating of the spouses.   That's where you see it most clearly revealed.    Quiet desperation -- often wives Don't ask, don't tell Unspoken bitterness, resentment  Unmet needs, illusions   Shame Body Shame  Sense of unworthiness   No frame of reference Others miserable too.   Confusion Settling -- as good as it gets.   The Vision  Old option, the old way -- keep on the way you are going. Keep understanding yourself and your spouse in the same way, keep acting in the same way, keep the same pattern and dynamics, it's not likely that things are going to change for the better  Pray about it -- God can work miracles, right?  "O God, please help my sexual intimacy with my spouse improve…"  That's good.  But what if it's not enough -- what if God needs you to work on your sexual intimacy issues in the natural realm?  He won't intrude and work magic or miracles if parts of you want to keep the status quo, if there are parts of you that are resisting changing.   What if there were a new way to really understand both yourself and you better As a psychologist looked for ways to help married couples for the last two decades  Not just about relieving distress, but also about deepening the intimacy, deepening the relationship, including in the sexual realm  Not just as a psychologist, not just as a clinician, but also in my own marriage with Pam.   Introduction to Internal Family Systems Developed by Richard Schwartz   Discussion of Parts -- introduced parts in episode 49 Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent emotions, body sensations, intentions, typical thoughts and beliefs, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.   How can we separate personalities within us.  Dr. Peter, it sounds like you're saying that each of us has multiple personalities.  You're not saying I have multiple personalities, are you?  ] That's exactly what I'm saying.   Parts are like the different characters inside Riley, the star of the animated Pixar film "Inside Out"  -- remember that -- Anger (red), Sadness (blue), Joy (yellow), Disgust (green), Fear (purple) Remember how of those internal actors would take over the control panel within her and then she would act as if she were just that part of her?  So when anger took over, she would get into conflict with her father?   So we can see a part as a distinct mode of operating -- prominent emotions, body sensations, intentions, typical thoughts and beliefs, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.   example husband comes home from demanding management job in human resources at the end of the day, all day dealing with employee problems, and he tired, worn out, no patience, feeling put upon by the children.  Just wants peace and quiet and something to eat and to veg out.   Wife says to herself "My husband is in his 6:00 funk again."  That "funk" is a mode of operating.   The husband has been taken over by part, we would say he is blended a part.    That parts has a particular set emotions, body sensations, intentions, typical thoughts and beliefs, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Let's break it down. Emotions:  Irritation, frustration, annoyance  Body sensations:  Tense shoulders, slight headache  Belief: Relating with people is all about their problems and all about pressure from the executives about minimizing risk and liability.  Relationships are draining, costly.   Thought -- Wife wants to tell me about her day, which means telling me about all the problems with the kids and expecting me to help solve them.  Intentions -- wanting to get away from people, rest, recover, try to recharge batteries.   Desires:  To eat and to have the house quiet  Attitudes: Somebody owes me something for all that I do  Impulses:  To yell, to shut everybody up  Interpersonal style: Grouchy, cold, non-communicative, avoidant  World view:  Work your fingers to the bone, what do you get?  Bony fingers.  Bony fingers.   Husband is not always in that funk.  Often, after supper, after vegging a while, he can reemerge and be much more pleasant and relational, in an entirely different mode of operating with the kids.   Let's say the wife, in a very human way blends with a part of her in reaction to her husband's 6:00 funk.  Emotions:  She gets sad, sense of despair Body sensations:  Sinking feeling in her stomach, desire to curl up.   Belief: He doesn't really care about me.   Thought -- He's treating the kids too sternly, he's too inflexible.  It's one thing for him to be unkind to me, but doesn't he see how hard he is on the kids? Intentions:  I want us to be a happy family together.     Desires:  I want him to care for me and the kids.   Attitudes: Helplessness Impulses:  To give up, throw in the towel. Interpersonal style: Very cautious, walking on eggshells, tightly controlling emotional expression toward the husband.   World view: It sucks to be married to him.  He brings us all down.  We just have to take it.      Goal in Internal Family Systems:  Internal Integration.  Parts coming to together under the leadership of the core self Orchestra model   Get forced into extreme roles -- attachment injuries and relational traumas   Three roles Exiles --  most sensitive -- become injured or outraged.  Threatens the system, external relationships Exploited, rejected, abandoned in external relationships Want care and love, rescue, redemption shame.  Need for redemption  Managers Protective, strategic, controlling environment, keep things safe  Obsessions. Compulsions, reclusiveness, passivity, numbing. Panic attacks, somatic complaints, depressive episodes, hypervigiliance.   Firefighters Stifle, anesthetize, distract from feelings of exiles  No concern for consequences  Binge eating, drug/alcohol use, dissociation, sexual risk taking, cutting   Parts can take over the person Like in Pixar Movie Inside Out -- anger taking over the control panel of the main character Riley  We call it blending.   Parts can have a different love languages -- Five different Love Languages -- Gary Chapman.   Words of affirmation Quality Time Acts of Service Gifts Physical Touch Parts have different attachment styles, different ways of connecting.   Parts have different histories of sexual experiences  Parts have different reactions to sex and relationship issues  Parts can shift abruptly.  They can shift abruptly during sexual intimacy between spouses.  I don't know ourselves when I don't know my parts. St. Paul in Romans 7:15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.   I don't know my spouse when I don't know his or her parts.   So many parts are hidden.  Consider themselves or are considered by other parts to be unacceptable, unlovable, unworthy, dangerous, harmful, inappropriate, or whatever.   IFS on the Self -- (recorded) Self defined as the seat of consciousness  Self can be occluded or overwhelmed by parts  When self accepts and loves parts, those parts transform back into who they were meant to be  Self-led mind is self-righting.  self -- Active inner leader -- more than mindfulness   Parts find the relationship with the self very reassuring But to reap the benefits they have to unblend from and notice the self  This is frightening can challenging to parts  Agency in the parts -- parts are making decisions about unblending in IFS model   Intrinsic qualities of the self Curiosity  Compassion  Calm  Confidence  Courage  Clarity  Creativity  Connectedness  Kindness   The self can be easily occluded, obscured, hidden by protective parts who take over in response to fear, anger or shame General state for most people is to be quite blended  Leads to self-absorption   Goal is to have the core self be governing our parts during our relational and sexual intimacy, to have that recollection in the natural realm.   The Fine Print / Action Plan We will continue to work through sexual intimacy topics in this podcast -- see if your spouse will join you.  If your spouse has joined you, let me know!  I want to hear it -- crisis@soulsandhearts.com, text me at 317.567.9594.   Continue to identify your parts -- do you have a part that's like the 6:00 funk part from our example today?  What are your typical, identifiable modes of operating?  Write them down.  The next step is to start identifying the ones that are active when you are sexually intimate.  Keep drawing your bed and labeling it or use a picture of a canopied marriage bed.  You don't have to be a great artist -- but start drawing your own marriage bed, with your own insights, you own realizations.  Next episode will be all about illustrating how parts become active in sexual intimacy between partners -- we're going to go through examples of how that plays out to help you really grip on to the concepts.   More help:  Alison Cook, Kimberly Miller "Boundaries for Your Soul" Known Alison and Kimberly for years now in Christian IFS circles, beloved colleagues  First and only book I've ever reviewed on Amazon   Jenna Riemersma "Altogether You"  IFS grounded in a Christian Anthropology, wants that integration of IFS with Christianity.   Met Jenna earlier this month, in a meeting together Really wants to promote IFS   After meeting her, more excited to read her new book, came out late last year Resource page  https://jennariemersma.com/ Tammy Sollenberger:  The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcas‪t -- comes out weekly on Fridays.  Got to meet Tammy earlier this month as well.  Really committed to getting the basics of IFS across, making IFS more accessible to the general public, breaking down the concepts to make them easier to understand. Jay Earley's books -- more than a dozen books.  https://personal-growth-programs.com/  But it's hard to work on your parts without help -- cue the Resilient Catholic Community.   If this discussion of parts resonates with you -- what would it be like to be working on your human formation, your human development as a Catholic with other Catholics who have the same goals?  What would be like to form real relationships with other on the same path, to journey together?  Get on the waiting list for the RCC --  go to soulsandheart.com/rcc to sign up -- there's no obligation to join, but you will get all kinds of cool free stuff.   I have a special event just for people who are on the RCC waiting list  Our people on the waiting list have been so patient, I am so appreciative, so for those of you on the waiting list, you are all invited to a Zoom meeting  On Tuesday, April 6, 2021 from 7:30 PM to 8:45 PM Eastern time I will make a brief presentation about Catholicism, Sexuality and Parts  Then We will have an "Ask me anything" section to field your questions or comments and have a great discussion  Then I will discuss the Resilient Catholics Community -- the RCC focus on human formation, the monthly themes for the RCC, the membership benefits, our office hours, the weekly premium podcast exclusively for RCC members, our private app with discussion boards, subscription rates  Then we'll discuss what you are looking for in an online community and answer questions about the RCC community   You can also send me questions via email at crisis@soulsandhearts.com or via my cell at 317.567.9594   For current RCC members -- we have a premium episode coming out on Tuesday, March 23, 2021 IIC 60A Getting to Know the Parts Who Take Over During Sex Catholic therapists who listen -- a community just for you.  reopening the Interior Therapist Community.  Landing page soulsandhearts.com/itc   Unique opportunities to work on your formation as a therapist, and your formation as a human being.  As therapists, we often have parts that focus so much on other people, caring for others that there can be significant neglect of our own parts, our own systems, our own integration.  The Interior Therapist Community helps with that. Two slots open for Catholic Therapists in our Foundations Experiential Groups.  Go to soulsandhearts.com/itc to find out more.   IIC 60T What is Holding Me Back From More Deeply Understanding My Clients' Sexual Lives?  Subscribing to this podcast -- Spotify, Apple Podcasts, google play, amazon.  Share the Interior Integration for Catholics Podcast on social media -- sharing buttons are on our website at soulsandhearts.com/coronavirus-crisis  -- get your word out there, with your personal recommendation -- how these episodes have helped you.  Share them, let others know.  Feedback.  Let me know how these episodes are landing with you -- -- some of you already have.  Get in touch with me on my cell at 317.567.9594 or my email at crisis@soulsandhearts.com   IIC 60A Getting to Know the Parts Who Take Over During Sex IIC 60T What is Holding Me Back From More Deeply Understanding My Clients' Sexual Lives?  Blurb for Transistor:  Dr. Peter ask you how well you know yourself and how well you know your spouse.  He offers an Internal Family Systems approach to understanding both the multiplicity and the unity within us as we continue this series on sexuality and Catholic marriage.   Patronness and Patron   

His Providence is a Pentecostal Church and for some that raises questions that Pastor Zac and Ashley candidly discuss and explain in this episode. Special Note: If you purchased on of the "Our House: A to Z" mugs -please note that they are not dishwasher-safe.  If you have already put them in the dishwasher, please email info@hpc.church for a replacement. Topic Ideas: info@hpc.church Website: www.hpc.church 

We are often tempted to run away from God and from difficult moments in life. We might even be tempted to escape from all that has been taken from us over the past year. But to choose to embrace this moment is to choose to embrace the Lord and His Providence.

Homily from Ash Wednesday.Return to the Lord with your whole heart.We are often tempted to run away from God and from difficult moments in life. We might even be tempted to escape from all that has been taken from us over the past year. But to choose to embrace this moment is to choose to embrace the Lord and His Providence. Mass Readings from February 17, 2021:Joel 2:12-18Psalm 51:3-6, 12-13, 14 and 172 Corinthians 5:20—6:2Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18

Samuel dies this day in Jewish history, so we examine his miracle conception, unlikely birth, and extraordinary life. What about all the babies who never are born because they die in an abortion? We will never know the destiny and contribution to this world of millions and millions of people. Each one counts, and so we share an essay from the Meaningful Life Center on this week's Torah portion, Bamidbar in the book of Numbers where HaShem orders various censuses of his children because each one counts. We take a look at the abortion clock that records in real time the number of abortions taking place in the US and around the world. The overwhelming tragedy inferred from these huge and unrelenting numbers disturbs us, so we turn to Rabbi Nachman's meditation on the 43rd day of the Omer count. Next, we use Power Point slide $53, Jewish Abortion is Epidemic, and close the episode sharing a positive vision of renewed dependence on God and faith in His Providence as we carry our life affirming message to those who still live in doubt and fear. Streamed  5/22/20. Abortion Clock http://www.numberofabortions.com/ Meaningful Life Center "Counting" https://www.meaningfullife.com/bamidbar-counting/ Counting the Nightly Omer https://learnemunah.com/holidays/omercount.html For Info, Help & Healing please visit jewishprolifefoundation.org

What is the Christian response to death and suffering? Dr. Ralph Martin, president of Renewal Ministries, and professor at Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Detroit, Michigan, joins Quick Talks to discuss this question in light of God's plan for the reparation of sin, and trust in His Providence when grappling with the fear of death.

Psalm 147-7-11-1- Giving thanks for His Providence-2- Giving thanks for His Redemption

Thessalonians 5:16-18,Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Psalm 100:4-5Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.2 Worship the Lord with gladness;come before him with joyful songs.3 Know that the Lord is God.It is he who made us, and we are his;we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise;give thanks to him and praise his name.5 For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;his faithfulness continues through all generations. Thanksgiving is...1. Attitude 2. Mark 3. Lifestyle Thessalonians 5:16-18,Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  Reasons for Thanksgiving1. His Personhood: we give thanks for who He is. 2. His Promise: we give thanks for what He promises 3. His Providence: we give thanks for what He has done, is doing and will do.  Why are we not thankful?Luke 17:11-1911Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. 12As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance 13and called out in a loud voice, "Jesus, Master, have pity on us!"14When he saw them, he said, "Go, show yourselves to the priests." And as they went, they were cleansed.15One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. 16He threw himself at Jesus' feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan. 17Jesus asked, "Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? 18Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?" 19Then he said to him, "Rise and go; your faith has made you well." 1. Self-centeredness 2. Forgetfulness 3. Faithlessness How can we stay thankful? 1. God-centeredness 2. Self-awareness 3. Faithfulness

Thessalonians 5:16-18,Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Psalm 100:4-5Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. 2 Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. 3 Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. 5 For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. Psalm 95:1-7Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. 2 Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. 3 For the Lord is the great God, the great King above all gods. 4 In his hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him. 5 The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land. 6 Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker; 7 for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care. Thanksgiving is...1. Attitude 2. Mark 3. Lifestyle Thessalonians 5:16-18,Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Reasons for Thanksgiving1. His Personhood: we give thanks for who He is. 2. His Promise: we give thanks for what He promises 3. His Providence: we give thanks for what He has done, is doing and will do. Expressions of Thanksgiving1. Praise Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. 2 Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs 2. Presence Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. 3. Practice I Samuel 15:22To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. Galatians 5:6 The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

God’s providence extends beyond ministry and church. In fact, God is at work in every aspect of our lives even when we can’t see his hand, it is there. We often say that God is sovereign, but we struggle to see the interwoven moments of His Providence in the mundane daily routines of life. Whether we are chasing donkeys over the countryside, folding laundry for the hundredth time or working in a thankless job, God is moving. The question is are we fighting Him or moving with Him?

God’s providence extends beyond ministry and church. In fact, God is at work in every aspect of our lives even when we can’t see his hand, it is there. We often say that God is sovereign, but we struggle to see the interwoven moments of His Providence in the mundane daily routines of life. Whether we are chasing donkeys over the countryside, folding laundry for the hundredth time or working in a thankless job, God is moving. The question is are we fighting Him or moving with Him?

God’s providence extends beyond ministry and church. In fact, God is at work in every aspect of our lives even when we can’t see his hand, it is there. We often say that God is sovereign, but we struggle to see the interwoven moments of His Providence in the mundane daily routines of life. Whether we are chasing donkeys over the countryside, folding laundry for the hundredth time or working in a thankless job, God is moving. The question is are we fighting Him or moving with Him?

God's providence extends beyond ministry and church. In fact, God is at work in every aspect of our lives even when we can't see his hand, it is there. We often say that God is sovereign, but we struggle to see the interwoven moments of His Providence in the mundane daily routines of life. Whether we are chasing donkeys over the countryside, folding laundry for the hundredth time or working in a thankless job, God is moving. The question is are we fighting Him or moving with Him?

God’s providence extends beyond ministry and church. In fact, God is at work in every aspect of our lives even when we can’t see his hand, it is there. We often say that God is sovereign, but we struggle to see the interwoven moments of His Providence in the mundane daily routines of life. Whether we are chasing donkeys over the countryside, folding laundry for the hundredth time or working in a thankless job, God is moving. The question is are we fighting Him or moving with Him?

Part 2 of 2. In those moments of life when it seems that God is not working, we must trust that He still is. Spiritual mile markers are signs that God gives us along the way that His Providence and Sovereignty are steering us to His divine purpose and destination for our lives. In Esther, we find those mile markers to reveal to us the behind-the-scenes working of a sovereign and providential God.

Kolby Koloff, Nikita's youngest daughter, brings a young woman's perspective to It's Time to Man Up! She is now pursuing God's calling on her life as a singer/songwriter, but His Providence has been apparent all along ... From losing her twin brother before birth, to discovering her musical gifts at a young age, to being the sole tomboy of the Koloff sisters, and wrestling with how she views God. These days she's more on fire for Christ than ever!

In those moments of life when it seems that God is not working, we must trust that He still is. Spiritual mile markers are signs that God gives us along the way that His Providence and Sovereignty are steering us to His divine purpose and destination for our lives. In Esther, we find those mile markers to reveal to us the behind-the-scenes working of a sovereign and providential God.

Psalm 23:1-6 The Lord is my shepherd; I have what I need. He lets me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside quiet waters. He renews my life; he leads me along the right paths for his name's sake. Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for you are with me; your rod and your staff—they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Psalm 23:6 Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord as long as I live.Psalm 27:13 I am certain that I will see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living.1. THE SHEPHERD'S PERSONALITYOnly goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord as long as I live.Psalm 136:1 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His faithful love endures forever.- - His goodness is expressed through His Presents. James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.- - His Goodness is expressed through His Provision.Psalm 34:8-10 Taste and see that the Lord is good. How happy is the person who takes refuge in him! You who are his holy ones, fear the Lord for those who fear him lack nothing. Young lions lack food and go hungry, but those who seek the Lord will not lack any good thing.- - His goodness is expressed by His Providence.Romans 8:28 We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.Psalm 23:6 Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord as long as I live.Psalm 63:3 My lips will glorify you because your faithful love is better than life.2 Timothy 2:13 …if we are faithless, he remains faithful…Psalm 23:6 Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord as long as I live.2. THE SHEPHERD'S PURSUIT1 Peter 2:25 Once you were like sheep who wandered away. But now you have turned to your Shepherd, the Guardian of your souls. (NLT)Isaiah 53:6 We all went astray like sheep; we all have turned to our own way…Luke 15:1-7 All the tax collectors and sinners were approaching to listen to him. And the Pharisees and scribes were complaining, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.” So he told them this parable: “What man among you, who has a hundred sheep and loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open field and go after the lost one until he finds it? When he has found it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders, and coming home, he calls his friends and neighbors together, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, because I have found my lost sheep!' I tell you, in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who don't need repentance.Isaiah 53:4-7 Yet he himself bore our sicknesses, and he carried our pains; but we in turn regarded him stricken, struck down by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced because of our rebellion, crushed because of our iniquities; punishment for our peace was on him, and we are healed by his wounds. We all went astray like sheep; we all have turned to our own way; and the Lord has punished him for the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth. Like a lamb led to the slaughter and like a sheep silent before her shearers, he did not open his mouth.

This week we continue our series on misconceptions about Divine Providence. There are moments when something so unlikely and unexpected, and yet so wonderful, occurs, that we cannot help but see it as the hand of God at work in the world. But if God intervenes so forcefully in the world sometimes, it serves to highlight the many times when He does not (apparently) intervene. Why is one person miraculously spared from cancer, while thousands of others are condemned to die? The truth is that God's Providence is not just at work in the unlikely and the obvious ways we see. His Providence extends to each and every moment of our lives, even down to the most mundane. He is never absent. From Pastor Joel Glenn at New Church Westville, South Africa (newchurchaudio.org)

Friday of the Fourteenth Week in Ordinary TimeAs Christian disciples we are asked to live in this world but not to be of it. We are called to be witnesses to God's love and mercy in a world that no longer believes in His existence. We will be mocked, ridiculed, and persecuted, but we must remain steadfast in our faith and continue to love because we must see the Christ that is in those who persecute us. We are like sheep among wolves, but we are not lost sheep. We are the sheep of the Good Shepherd who never abandons us but will guide us and remain with us. So, may we go confidently into the world proclaiming the love and mercy of God, confident in His Providence and plan for us.Click here for today's readings.

Readings: Jeremiah 20:10–13 Psalm 69:8–10, 14, 17, 33–35 Romans 5:12–15 Matthew 10:26–33 Our commitment to Christ will be put to the test. We will hear whispered warnings and denunciations, as Jeremiah does in today’s First Reading. Even so-called friends will try to trap us and trip us up. For His sake we will bear insults and be made outcasts—even in our own homes, we hear in today’s Psalm. As Jeremiah tells us, we must expect that God will challenge our faith in Him, and probe our minds and hearts, to test the depths of our love. “Do not be afraid,” Jesus assures us three times in today’s Gospel. Though He may permit us to suffer for our faith, our Father will never forget or abandon us. As Jesus assures us today, everything unfolds in His Providence, under His watchful gaze—even the falling of the tiniest sparrow to the ground. Each one of us is precious to Him. Steadfast in this faith, we must resist the tactics of Satan. He is the enemy who seeks the ruin of our soul in Gehenna, or hell. We are to seek God, as the Psalmist says. Zeal for the Lord’s house, for the heavenly kingdom of the Father, should consume us, as it consumed Jesus (see John 2:17). As Jesus bore the insults of those who blasphemed God, so should we (see Romans 15:3). By the gracious gift of himself, Jesus bore the transgressions of the world, Paul tells us in today’s Epistle. In rising from the dead, He has shown us that God rescues the life of the poor, that He does not spurn His own when they are in distress. In His great mercy, He will turn toward us, as well. He will deliver us from the power of the wicked. That is why we proclaim His name from the housetops, as Jesus tells us. That is why we sing praise and offer thanksgiving in every Eucharist. We are confident in Jesus’ promise—that we who declare our faith in Him before others will be remembered before our heavenly Father.

Fr. Patrick Cahill explains why we need to trust in the Lord and His Providence!

This week we continue our series on misconceptions about Divine Providence. There are moments when something so unlikely and unexpected, and yet so wonderful, occurs, that we cannot help but see it as the hand of God at work in the world. But if God intervenes so forcefully in the world sometimes, it serves to highlight the many times when He does not (apparently) intervene. Why is one person miraculously spared from cancer, while thousands of others are condemned to die? The truth is that God’s Providence is not just at work in the unlikely and the obvious ways we see. His Providence extends to each and every moment of our lives, even down to the most mundane. He is never absent.

Trusting in God to lead us in making the Major and Minor decisions of our lives. As we place our trust in Him, His Providence and care will become evident.

Providential AfflictionsBy Breck Wheelock, April 7, 2020Hello out there. My name is Breck Wheelock and I would like to warmly welcome you to today's podcast episode in which I will be discussing the doctrine of God's Providence, and we will be taking a particularly close look at providential afflictions. I think that this is a timely thing to study given that the entire globe right now is undergoing affliction with COVID-19. Why would God decree this global affliction? Why does God decree afflictions at all? How are we to respond to the afflictions that He has decreed for our own lives? These are the types of questions that we will consider in today's episode.Let's begin our study of God's Providence by looking to the Heidelberg catechism. Question 27 of the Heidelberg catechism asks, “What do you understand by the Providence of God?” And the answer that it provides is as follows: “Providence is the almighty and ever present power of God by which He upholds as with His hand, heaven and earth and all creatures and so rules them that leaf and blade, rain and drought, fruitful and lean years, food and drink, health and sickness, prosperity and poverty, all things in fact come to us not by chance but from His Fatherly hand.Following this, question 28 asks, “How does the knowledge of God's creation and Providence help us?” And again, the answer that it provides: “We can be patient when things go against us; we can be thankful when things go well; and for the future, we can have good confidence in our faithful God and father that nothing will separate us from His love. All creatures are so completely in His hand that without His will, they can neither move nor be moved.”The answer to that first question (question 27 of the Heidelberg catechism) provides a fairly extensive and comprehensive definition of Providence, and it's really quite excellent. And then, the answer that is given in question 28 is meant to answer how this doctrine of Providence can be helpful to us, and it provides three reasons. It says: (1) We can be patient when things go against us; (2) We can be thankful when things are going well; and (3) for the future, we can have confidence in our faithful God, knowing that nothing can ever ultimately separate us from His love.Kevin DeYoung, in his book, The Good News We Almost Forgot, provides some commentary on these questions and answers that we just looked at in the Heidelberg catechism. I'd like to read, just briefly, some of the comments that he makes. DeYoung writes:For many Christians, coming to grips with God's all-encompassing providence requires a massive shift in how they look at the world. It requires changing our vantage point from seeing the cosmos as a place where man rules and God responds, to beholding a universe where God creates and constantly controls with sovereign love and providential power. We can look at providence through the lens of human autonomy and our idolatrous notions of freedom, and see a mean God moving tsunamis and Kings like chess pieces in some kind of perverse divine playtime. Or we can look at providence through the lens of scripture, and we can see a loving God counting the hairs on our heads and directing the sparrows in the sky so that we might live life unafraid. “What else can we wish for ourselves,” Calvin wrote, “if not even one hair can fall from our head without God's will?”There are no accidents in your life. Every economic downturn, every phone call in the middle of the night, every oncology report, has been sent to us from the God who sees all things, decrees all things, and loves us more than we know. Whether it means the end of suffering or the extension of our suffering, God in His providence is for us and never against us.Providence is for our comfort. (1) Providence is for our comfort because we can be patient when things go against us. Joseph's imprisonment seems pointless, but it all makes sense now. Slavery in Egypt, makes perfect sense now. Even killing the Messiah makes sense now. So maybe God knows what He's doing with the pain and suffering and afflictions in our lives. (2) Providence is for our comfort because we can be thankful when things go well. How often do we pray for safe travel, or for healing, or for a spouse, or for a job, and then we never get around to thanking God on the other side of that blessing? If we truly believe in providence, we will view success and prosperity not as products of a good upbringing, or of good looks, or of good intelligence, but ultimately as the unmerited favor of a good God. (3) Providence is for our comfort because we can have confidence for the future. The fact is, all your worries – they may come true! But God will never be untrue to you. He will always lead you and listen to you.God does often work in mysterious ways. We may not always understand why life is what it is, but God’s providence helps us face the future unafraid, to know that nothing moves - however mysterious - except by the hand of that great Unmoved Mover, who is our Father in heaven.Amen.Kevin Young is exactly right, as are the answers provided by the Heidelberg catechism. The doctrine of Providence should provide us with tremendous comfort. What if the world was being governed by chance? (And yes, I know that this is a contradiction in terms. How can chance be governed? But just stick with me for a moment.) Things look bad enough now. We often look at the events in our own lives, or the events of the world, and we wonder what is the reason for this? What is going on right now? Indeed, is that not what many of us are thinking as we look out upon the world and see this global pandemic of COVID-19? What is the reason for this? But at least as Christians, we know that there is in fact a reason! Can you imagine a world in which there was no reason? A world that is governed by chance? (Again, a contradiction in terms.) This is the world of the evolutionary naturalist. And it's a hopeless world because there is no rhyme or reason as to why human beings go through suffering. In fact, there's not even a reason as to why there are human beings at all. But because of the doctrine of providence, as Christians, we know and take comfort in the fact that God is working all things according to the counsel of his own will. (Ephesians 1:11) Indeed, we know that for those who love God, all things are working together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) And again, if God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31)These promises and blessings that we take comfort in are a result of God's Providence. And in light of these great promises and blessings, we are to own the truth of God's Providence, not merely to acknowledge it. To quote Charles Spurgeon:“Blessed is that man who is done with chance, who never speaks of luck, but believes that from the least, even to the greatest, all things are ordained by the Lord. We dare not leave out the least event. The creeping of an aphid upon a rosebud is as surely arranged by the decree of Providence as is the March of a pestilence through a nation. Believe this. For if the least thing is omitted from the Supreme government, so may the next be, and the next, until nothing is left in the divine hands. There is no place for chance, since God fills all things. When we own the truth of God's Providence, we are able to say with Job – the Lord providentially gives, and the Lord providentially takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.”A very timely quote.Now, since all things have been ordained by God, we are not to murmur or complain against His Providence. If God is in control of all the things that happen in the world and that happen to us, then to complain or murmur about our circumstances is really to complain or murmur against God. Please don't misunderstand what I'm saying here. I'm not saying that when we're going through an affliction that we can't cry out to God and even at times say, “How long, Oh Lord, shall I have to endure this? When will you deliver me?” We see ample examples of that in the Psalms. What I am saying, is that we need to follow the example of our Lord in the garden of Gethsemane, “Not my will, but Your will be done.” That is to be our mentality as Christians. We are not to be constantly ranting and raving about this, that, and the other thing. We should not be characterized as one who is always bitter, or angry, or grumbling, or discontent about our lot in life, and/or discontent about what's going on in the world around us. As ambassadors of the King. We don't want to give the impression that our King is impotent, or incompetent, or even aloof. This would be to misrepresent our sovereign Lord. We don't want to give the impression to others that our God lacks power, or lacks wisdom, or just doesn't care when it comes to His people or when it comes to the events that are taking place in the world around us. Again, that would be to misrepresent our sovereign Lord.We are not to murmur or complain against God's Providence; indeed, we are to trust in God's Providence. To quote Thomas Watson:“God is to be trusted when His Providences seem to run contrary to His promises. God promised David to give him the crown, to make him King, but then Providence turns contrary to that promise. David was pursued by Saul. He was in danger of his life, but all this, while it was David's duty to trust God. The Lord will oftentimes bring to pass His promise by what would seem to be a contradictory providence. Consider acts chapter 27, in which Paul was thrust into a violent storm at sea while being transported, along with many others, to Rome under a Roman guard. God promised Paul the lives of all that were with him in that ship, but now the Providence of God seems to run quite contrary to what He promised. The winds continue to blow, the storm continues to rage, the ship splits and breaks apart. But it was through this that God fulfilled His promise upon the broken pieces of the ship. They all came safely to shore. Therefore, trust God when Providence seems to run quite contrary to His promises.”A great quote by Thomas Watson.Not only are we to trust in God's providence, but we are actually told to rest in God's providence. We're not to be of the mindset that thinks, “Oh yeah, I know that God's in control. I get it. But I don't like this, and I'm going to stomp my feet and throw a spiritual temper tantrum. I'm going to kick against the goads.” No, that is not to be our mindset. Again, I'm not saying that we can't be frustrated when we're going through some kind of affliction, and I'm not saying that we can't bring those frustrations boldly before the throne of grace and ask that we would be delivered, and ask that He might give us a reprieve from our afflictions. Of course that's okay. We are free to vent our frustrations before the Lord, but we are always to lay them at His feet and say, “Not my will, but Your will be done.” That is resting in His providence. We are to cultivate a calm and resting temperament, a calm and resting disposition.No matter what befalls us, our default mentality should be to accept whatever happens to us as the absolute best thing for us. Whatever God has planned for my life, it is good. Every single detail of it is good. In fact, it's not only good, it is the best plan. There could be no better plan for my life because God is the one who planned it. We are to implicitly assume that God is working all things to the maximum display of His glory, which is our chief end. This is the heart of Psalm 46 whatever our present providential circumstances might be, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. [Though the whole world is having to endure the plague of COVID-19.] Be still and know that I am God. [Rest in me, be still and know that I am God.] I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:1-3, 10)And so we are to trust in God's providence, we are to rest in God's providence, but more than this, we are to improve upon His providences by remembering His faithfulness in the past. Often, we are so anxious about the future that we neglect to remember past providences when He has delivered us from affliction, time and time again. We want to hit the fast-forward button, when the doctrine of Providence would have us hit the rewind button. We would all like to hit the fast-forward button right now when it comes to this COVID-19 pandemic. When is it going to end? How much damage is it ultimately going to do? How many people is it going to kill? How much destruction is it going to wreak upon our economy, and upon the economy of the world? On and on the questions go. We find ourselves wanting to press the fast-forward button, but we should instead be pressing the rewind button. What do I mean by that? Look back upon your life and see how the Lord has delivered you over and over again when you were going through a trial or tribulation or an affliction. When you look to your past, you see that He has been faithful. He has been exactly what He says He is – faithful to His people. Thus, if we press the rewind button and we see nothing but faithfulness, why would we think that the future is going to hold anything different?God has given each of us a memory – which is a tremendous grace – and He expects us to use it. How many times are we exhorted in the Psalms to remember what He has done in the past? Considered Psalm 77, a Psalm of Asaph. Asaph begins this Psalm very downtrodden and dejected, but then there's a shift in which he reminds himself to remember how the Lord has delivered him in past afflictions. He says,“I cry aloud to God and He will hear me. In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted. When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints. You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak. I consider the days of old, the years long ago. I said, ‘let me remember my song in the night; let me meditate in my heart.’ Then my spirit made a diligent search: [See, he's searching his memory to remember those times when the Lord was faithful and he continues.] ‘Will the Lord spurn forever and never again be favorable? Has His steadfast love forever ceased? Are His promises at an end for all time? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has He in anger shut up His compassion?’ Then I said, ‘I will appeal to this, to the years of the right hand of the Most High.’ I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember Your wonders of old. I will ponder all Your work, and meditate on Your mighty deeds. Your way, Oh God, is Holy. What God is great like our God? You are the God who works wonders; You have made known Your might among the peoples. You with your arm redeemed your people, the children of Jacob and Joseph.” (Ps. 77:1-15)Asaph began the Psalm downcast, but once he remembered the faithfulness of God in his own life, and the faithfulness of God to His people throughout history, it lifted his spirit and he was no longer downcast. He was comforted, and we are expected to do the same [to find solace in remembering past providential deliverances].But let us also consider the flip side of this. What happens when we neglect to remember the past providences of God, the ways in which He has delivered us from past afflictions? David speaks of this in Psalm 106. Beginning at verse 7, David says,Our fathers, when they were in Egypt, did not consider Your wondrous works; they did not remember the abundance of Your steadfast love, but they rebelled by the sea, at the Red Sea. Yet He saved them for His name's sake, that He might make known His mighty power. He rebuked the Red Sea, and it became dry, and He led them through the deep as through a desert. So He saved them from the hand of the foe, and redeemed them from the power of the enemy. And the waters covered their adversaries; not one of them was left. Then they believed His words; they sang His praise. But they soon forgot His works, and they did not wait for His counsel. But they had a wanton craving in the wilderness, and they put God to the test in the desert; He gave them what they asked for, but He sent a wasting disease among them…They made a calf in Horeb and worshiped a metal image. They exchanged the glory of God for the image of an ox that eats grass. They forgot God, their Savior, who had done great things in Egypt, wondrous works in the land of Ham, and awesome deeds by the Red Sea. Therefore, He said He would destroy them – had not Moses, His chosen one, stood in the breach before Him, to turn away His wrath from destroying them. (Ps. 106:7-15, 19-23)Clearly, we see that when God delivers us in times of trouble, in times of tribulation, in times of affliction, He expects us to remember when He does these things and even to teach them to our children, and to our children's children! But He expects us to remember so that we can improve upon these providences; so that when the next affliction comes, we're not taken aback. We've “been there and done that,” and we’re ready to put our trust in the Lord once again.Moving on, let us now observe that providential affliction is one of the most efficient ways of producing the fruits of righteousness in the Christian. Psalm 119 verses 67 and 71 says, “Before I was afflicted, I went astray, but now I keep your word. It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn your statutes.” Here David admits that it was good that the Lord afflicted him because otherwise he would have continued to go astray. But because he was afflicted, it caused David to stop wandering, to go back to the word of God and to learn His statutes. David was sanctified and made righteous through his affliction. Trials and tribulations, persecutions and provocations – these things are essential for producing the fruit of the Spirit. For instance, how is the Spirit to produce in us the fruit of longsuffering if we never experienced any suffering? How is the Spirit to produce perseverance, hope, patience, meekness, self-control, etc., apart from the means of conflict, apart from the irritating frictions of the world, apart from affliction? This is why James 1:2-4 says, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” Again, Romans 5:3-4, “But we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.”The Lord uses abrasive experiences as a means of exfoliating the Christian’s flesh (his remaining sin) so that the radiance of the new man might be increasingly brought to the surface. As a skillful sculptor, God uses the chisel of trial to chip away at the Christian’s exterior so that the interior image of Christ progressively takes shape and comes into form. As the master potter, God uses the hands of affliction to press against the Christian’s clay body for the purpose of preparing him for glory as a vessel of mercy.Furthermore, providential afflictions provide a healthy litmus test for the Christian who can easily become complacent, unsuspecting of the gaping holes that exist in his faith. To quote William Jay, “Afflictions are to the soul, like the rains to the house; we suspected no apertures [no holes in the roof] until the droppings through told the tale.” What William Jay is saying here is that if we were to imagine our faith as a house, we often think, “Oh yeah, the roof is sound, it's good.” But then an affliction comes our way and it starts pouring down upon us and suddenly we see how many leaking holes there are in the roof of our faith.Peter remarks that the authenticity of our faith is like gold and it must be tested in the fires of affliction if the impurities are to rise to the surface and the dross is to be removed.First Peter 1:6-7: “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”Trials have a unique way of revealing to us what is truly in our heart, who we really are, and what we really believe. Trials slap our faith in the face to see if our faith will turn the other cheek. Again, to quote William Jay, “I little thought that I was so proud, until I was required to stoop. I little thought I was so impatient, until I was required to wait. I little thought I was so easily provoked, until I met with such an offense. I little thought I was so rooted to earth, until so much force was exerted to detach me from it.”Being confronted by affliction exposes our weaknesses so that we might grow in the faith and become more useful. Knowledgeable Christians are valuable, but Christians who have had their faith tried and purified are invaluable. Think of Job, or David, or Daniel, or Paul, how useful these men were precisely because they had their faith so severely tested. As David writes in Psalm 40:1-3, “I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me, and He heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and He set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth – praise to our God; many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord.” Here David is saying that he was delivered from a horrible pit, a miry clay. He had been providentially afflicted, but the Lord delivered him. And what was the result of having gone through this affliction? He was now more useful to the Lord. A new song had been put into his mouth. He was praising his God in a new way so that others would see it and fear the Lord, and they too would put their trust in Him.Consider also 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 where Paul writes, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” By enduring affliction, we become more useful. God comforts us in our tribulation and it then prepares us to do the same for others who go through similar tribulations. Consider someone who has been diagnosed with cancer and has to go through extensive cancer treatment, yet the Lord delivers him through it. This person is now uniquely equipped to help his brethren who might undergo similar trials and testing. This cancer survivor has become more useful because he was afflicted, and the Lord delivered him through that affliction.Undergoing distressing and trying experiences is a remarkably effective means of the Spirit for working out our sanctification. By faithfully enduring hardship, our usefulness is increased exponentially during times of affliction. As we exercise our faith (and I'm going to play on that word exercise here) during times of affliction, as we work out our own salvation with fear and trembling, our spiritual muscles are built up through the repetition of putting them to work against an opposing resistance. Being thus spiritually stout and able bodied, we become veteran Christian soldiers who are now well-equipped to share in carrying the load of others to assist in bearing the heavy burdens of our brethren.Let's observe one last quote from William Jay, and this is one of my favorite quotes of all time when it comes to providential afflictions. William Jay writes,“The oak that has been scathed with lightning attracts the notice of passengers more than all the other trees of the forest. [Let's just pause for a moment because I love the imagery here. He's saying, imagine you're walking through a forest and you see an oak tree that was struck by lightning – that's going to cause you to stop and take a closer look, isn't it?] Trouble awakens the attention and draws forth inquiry. [When people see someone who is troubled, it causes them to stop and take notice, just as in the case of the lightning-struck oak tree] The Christian is never so well circumstanced to glorify the Lord as when he is in the fires of affliction. There he can display the tenderness of God's care, the truth of His promises, the excellencies of the gospel, the support of divine grace. In the review of my own varied intercourse with society, I confess nothing so vividly and powerfully affects me as what I recollect to have met with from pious individuals exemplifying the spirit and resources of Christianity under bodily disease and the losses, bereavements, and disappointments of life. [What William Jay is saying here is that as a pastor, when he has had to go and visit people in his congregation who are suffering from disease, or they've suffered some tremendous loss, or they're undergoing bereavement or some disappointment in life, when he sees them being faithfully content, nothing so impacts him as when he encounters such faith.] Oh, when I have visited such a martyr, such a witness for God; when I have found him standing in the evil day like a rock in a raging current with sunshine on its brow; when I have observed him full of tribulation in the world and having peace in Christ; mourning more for his sins than his sorrows, afraid of dishonoring his profession by impatience and unbelief; more concerned to have his crosses sanctified than to have them removed; turning a tearful eye toward the Inflictor and saying, ‘I know Lord, that your judgments are right, and that You in faithfulness have afflicted me; just and true are all Your ways, oh You, King of saints; You have done all things well.’ When I have witnessed religion – and I have witnessed it – accomplishing achievements like these, I have said to it, as I withdrew, ‘I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You.’ As the sky is only decked with stars in the night; so the Christian shines most in the darkness of affliction.Powerful, powerful quote.Finally, consider how the good shepherd uses the prod of pain and the goad of suffering to drive His sheep toward the heavenly pastures of the new Jerusalem; to remind His people that they are exiles, aliens, foreigners, sojourners; to avoid loitering on their pilgrimage to the Celestial City.2 Corinthians 4:16-18, “Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”Trials and tribulations and suffering taught Paul to have an eternal perspective. He understood the importance of disciplining his body and bringing it into subjection lest he be disqualified from obtaining an imperishable crown.Philippians 4:11-13, “I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”Paul had learned to be content in all things; to rely on Christ’s strength to fight the good fight and press on to glory. And this is the example that every Christian is to emulate.Romans 8:18, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”In summary, we are to find comfort in God's providence; we are to own the truth of God's providence, the good, the bad, and the ugly; we are not to complain or murmur against His providences, rather, we are to trust and even to rest in His providence; we are to improve upon His providences by remembering His faithfulness in the past. Providential afflictions are a means of producing the fruit of the Spirit; testing the genuineness and the strength of our faith; sanctifying us and making us more useful; and keeping our eyes on heavenly eternal things, rather than on earthly temporal things.Brethren, during this time of pandemic there has been much discussion over what constitutes an “essential business” – what should remain open and what should be closed for the time being. Well, I would submit to you that spiritually speaking, all of us as Christians have essential business that needs to continue. We are to be faithful to Christ, no matter what our circumstances might be.I'll leave you with this. Even if our blood should be contaminated by disease and pestilence, the blood of Christ is perfect and pure, so as to conquer death and hell. Thus, we as Christians can say, “Where is your sting, oh COVID-19?For this perishable body must put on the imperishable and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written, “Death is swallowed up in victory. Oh death, where is your victory? Oh death, where is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. (I Corinthians 15:53-58).Amen.May the Lord bless you and keep you. Thank you for listening. I hope this has been profitable for your soul.

In this next episode of our special Holy week 2020 edition of AFA, Dave walks through Jesus' rebuke to the Pharisees in Matthew 23 and applies is to the way God may be speaking to us and revealing our sins through this work of His Providence.

We discuss the tempting of Jesus in the wilderness. Unlike the first Adam who was tempted and failed the test, Jesus, the new Adam, shows us that God has empowered us with the ability to say “no;” to show us that we can resist and overcome the tempter. We also discussed the use of Scripture by the devil to ensnare Jesus. Fr Aaron explained that knowing Scriptural verses does not necessarily mean that Scripture is being accurately represented. We were reminded of the importance of understanding Scripture as a whole. Unlike the devil, Jesus responds with a correct understanding of Scripture in his rebuttal. Finally, we were given an understanding of the significance of the wilderness in this passage. While most people used the walls of the city for protection, in the wilderness they were not provided for naturally, but by God alone. And through a correct understanding of Scripture, we are to understand that we are eternally protected only by God’s Law and by His Providence.

Series: Philippians Dealing with AnxietyPhilippians 4:1-9 Anxiety is an intense desire for something, accompanied by the fear of not receiving it. Worry demonstrates a distrust of God and His Providence in our lives. Context: The Philippian Christians were experiencing anxiety because of rejection, false teachers, and financial hardship. Anxieties were increased by two women sharply disagreeing in the church. There is a connection between our “withness” and our “witness.” Practical Steps Focus on the Lord. Rejoice at all times. Rejoicing is a command, not an option. Respond with Grace to all people. There is division over whether “the Lord is near” should be taken as temporal or spatial. It can mean either. 1) He is coming again. 2) He is very present with us. The two areas of battle in worry are the mind and the heart. Replace worry with prayer. Don’t replay or invent scenarios. Dig for truth. The world tells you to empty your mind to handle anxiety. Christianity calls you to fill it! When we dwell on our problems, we glorify our problems. Learn from Christian examples. Today's Takeaway:

While a teenager, God gave Joseph a glimpse of his key role in the redemptive plan for His people. What attributes did God develop in Joseph during those decades between the dreams of a 17 year-old, through the betrayal by his brothers, slavery, and a crushing, unjust imprisonment - until his elevation as Egypt's ruler; second only to Pharaoh himself? Rev. Mike DeLozier examines three attributes that God still works to develop in believers today in order to accomplish His Providence.

It's an age-old question: How do we know God's will for our lives? God isn't hiding the answers from us and makes His will known through: His Word. His Spirit. His Providence. His People. "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." – Colossians 3:17

Acts 17:22-31 The post Living in His Providence appeared first on Yellow Creek Mennonite Church - Goshen, IN.

In this beautiful section of Homily Five, St. Isaac speaks of how ever-present and close God is to us through his angels and in his actions on our behalf.  Why would we be anxious about anything, he asks?  We have a God set on our salvation, who does not abandon us in our sin but makes use of every opportunity to raise us up.  We must not let anything steal the peace that comes to us from this knowledge.  Rather, we must mortify ourselves and never let any opportunity pass us by to serve another or give alms; for in doing so we comfort "His image" - we console Christ Himself in the suffering poor.   God makes use of everything in His Providence to raise us out of sin - He administers sicknesses in body for health of our soul and allows temptations and trials to come to raise us out of negligence and idleness.  He orders all things for our profit and in this we are to learn that God alone is our deliverer.  We are to use our life in this world for repentance so that we can come to share in our eternal inheritance.   Afflictions spur us on and lead to remembrance of God.  It is this remembrance of God that creates a connectivity with Him and draws down His mercy.  "Remember God that He too might always remember you." Isaac reminds us to seek help before it is needed.  That is, "before the war begins, seek after your ally; before you fall ill, seek out your physician; and before grevious things come upon you, pray, and in the time of your tribulations you will find Him . . . "  Faith must be fostered throughout the course of our lives and our relationship with the Lord allowed to deepen.  It is in this that confidence in the spiritual life comes.  Fear and destructiion comes from neglect.    

In Genesis 38, we have some of the most explicit sexual content in all of Scripture, but the compiler-by-the-Holy-Spirit of Genesis set this dark account in the Scriptures to (1) contrast with God's care/Joseph's response in the next chapters, and (2) set the stage for the departure from Canaan to Egypt that is about 25 years away. The Lord is also after Judah's heart, the seed-carrier, and uses His Providence to assure progeny from this wayward son of Jacob.

2 Kings chapter 2 through 8 list 16 miracles related to the prophets Elijah and Elisha. 2 Kings 7:2 says something I have frequently found myself saying: "Even if the Lord opened the window of Heaven might this thing be..." Or translated it might say "That couldn't happen" or "God can't possibly do that." My stories of God's goodness and answers to prayer fit in the category of 1. Impossible Obstructions, 2. Impossible odds, 3. Impossible Poverty, 4. Impossible visibility, and 5. Impossible timing. They illustrate how God Provided, Guided, Protected, and demonstrated His Providence over 81 years as a missionary child of a medical missionary and then a medical missionary starting in 1966 in Ethiopia.

 Be sure to tune in to this show hosted by Pastor Michael Miano, of Blue Point Bible Church. On this God-glorifying Tuesday, Pastor Miano highlights the importance of God's sovereignty and understanding His Providence.    Also, Pastor Miano brings us through an article written by brother Jason Watt called "Open Theism". Read that article at the following link, http://tfcmag.com/Watt_page_article_80114.html  

2 Kings chapter 2 through 8 list 16 miracles related to the prophets Elijah and Elisha. 2 Kings 7:2 says something I have frequently found myself saying: "Even if the Lord opened the window of Heaven might this thing be..." Or translated it might say "That couldn't happen" or "God can't possibly do that." My stories of God's goodness and answers to prayer fit in the category of 1. Impossible Obstructions, 2. Impossible odds, 3. Impossible Poverty, 4. Impossible visibility, and 5. Impossible timing. They illustrate how God Provided, Guided, Protected, and demonstrated His Providence over 81 years as a missionary child of a medical missionary and then a medical missionary starting in 1966 in Ethiopia.

It Will Be Alright - God Rescues by His Providence

God had a plan for Esther. His Providence is on display throughout the book bearing her name. Esther replaced Vashti as queen of Persia after the latter refused to obey the command of King Xerxes. Even in this pagan kingdom, … Continue reading → The post The Great Story – Week 20: Esther appeared first on Call Upon The Lord.

Dr. Gene shares with us the transition from Moses to Joshua. How could Moses be replaced? God gave five things to Joshua in order for him to succeed as the father of Israel: 1. His Presence 2. His Providence 3. His Promise. 4. His Provision 5. His Protection. We as a church need to realize that even though we are going through a transition, we will be brought a "Joshua" that will take us places we've never been!

A new MP3 sermon from Still Waters Revival Books is now available on SermonAudio with the following details: Title: That God is the Creator of all Things, and Governeth All Things by His Providence Subtitle: Calvinistic Foundations Speaker: Henry Bullinger Broadcaster: Still Waters Revival Books Event: Audio Book Date: 2/28/1999 Bible: Hebrews 1:2-3 Length: 49 min.

Two Different Men, Two Different Views of Sunday Turn in your Bibles to Romans chapter 14. We continue our study in Romans, we're looking at Romans 14, specifically focusing this morning on verses 5-12. On July 11, 1924, Eric Liddell, took his place at the starting line of the 400 meter race in the Paris Olympic Games, and in his pocket was a note, a handwritten note that had been sent him by the team trainer, on which it was written, "In the old book, it says 'he who honors me I will honor.'" The reason that that note was written and handed to Eric Liddell is that he, Liddell, faithful to his Christian commitment and strict Sabbatarianism, had refused to run in the 100 meter heat the previous Sunday, much to the great chagrin of his nation, who were hungry for a gold medal in the 100 meters, especially against the Americans. They wanted to see Eric Liddell win and he was the best they had, and they did not understand what they considered to be his religious fanaticism. But the scripture in his pocket said, "He who honors me I will honor," and it seems that the Lord did honor his refusal to violate his conscience, because he ran a race he was not very familiar with, that he hadn't run very often, that he had not trained for and he set the world record by two tenths of a second, winning the gold medal. And so he felt very clearly the hand of God's blessing on his commitment. By contrast, on January 30th of the year 2000, Kurt Warner, the quarterback of the St. Louis Rams, led his team to victory in the Super Bowl, Super Bowl 34, set a record for passing yardage, the very exciting game, a rarity for the Super Bowl, and then at the very end, he led his team in a final drive 73 yard touchdown pass with less than two minutes to go. And I will never forget the post-game interview. In my opinion it's the best Christian testimony that's ever been given by an athlete in a situation like that in front of a live TV audience of perhaps 50 million people or more. The interviewer began by saying this, "First things first, Kurt, tell us about that final touchdown pass." And he shook his head, he said, "First things first, I have to give praise and glory and honor to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." And as he stood up on the podium to receive the Super Bowl trophy, he held it aloud and said, "All glory to God," in front of the whole world, a clear, unashamed bold witness for Jesus Christ by name, and for the glory of God. He recognized that the accolades of athletic success were soon to be gone like the morning mist, but he desired to live openly for the glory of God. Two different men, two different eras, two different athletes, each of whom desired to use their athletic success to glorify God, but clearly two different convictions on the propriety of being involved in sporting events on Sunday. It'd be interesting to get the two of them together and see the conversation that they would have. What would they say to each other? And I think in the spirit of Romans 14, they would have an incredibly warm and loving conversation, while they disagreed on whether it was right to compete on Sunday. Is it possible that what would have been completely sinful for Eric Liddell, competing on Sunday because it would have violated his conscience, was completely acceptable for Kurt Warner because he did so to the glory of God? That's the question in front of us in Romans chapter 14. I. Context: Full Acceptance Even When Disagreeing Now, we've already seen one message, we looked at verse 1-4. The context here is maintaining sweet fellowship in the midst of disputable issues. We talked last time about the first test case, that is, are we free to eat anything at all or is our diet restricted spiritually? So you look at verse 1, "Accept him whose faith is weak without passing judgment on disputable matters." And Paul's command is that we must accept what God has accepted, and specifically accept the people that God has accepted. We talked about the need for discernment, to tell the difference between a Christian and a non-Christian and to tell the difference between an issue that's central to our faith and those things that are more a matter of Christian liberty. And we saw that Paul gives strong words to both the weak and the strong. The strong have a tendency to despise and disdain the immaturity of the weak. The weak, for their part, have the tendency to pass condemning judgments on those who exercise more Christian liberty. And so, he urges them not to do either one, but maintain unity while they continue to talk to one another. II. Test Case #2: Sacred Days Today, we're going to look at the second test case that Paul brings up on this whole issue of maintaining sweet fellowship while we dispute over issues, and that is the issue of sacred days or special days. Now, there's much dispute on this verse, verse 5, also verse 6, straightforward translation talks about one who honors or esteems a day above another, just takes a day above another. The NIV puts the word "sacred" in there, one man considers one day more sacred than another. It's not strictly speaking in the text, it just means that he esteems one day above another. That's a simple translation. The issue I think is clearly religious observance. It's the idea that this man thinks of this thing as a religious matter, a spiritual matter, that one day is spiritually more significant than another. Almost certainly, this has to do with Old Covenant regulations which would elevate one day and make it different than the others. Now, the Old Covenant had sacred days, special days, the Jews did. They had in particular three festivals that they were required by Jewish law, by the law of Moses, to observe. You had the Feast of Passover, unleavened bread, you had the Feast of Weeks, or first fruits, also called Pentecost, and then you had the Feast of Ingathering or booths, Passover, Pentecost, and then ingathering or booths, those were the three. Furthermore, the Jews were required by the law of Moses to travel from their homes in the Promised Land, and make their way to the place that God would choose. That one place among all the tribes where they would all worship. And in the course of time, we found that that was Jerusalem, the City of David, and so they would all travel to Jerusalem. But in the Book of Deuteronomy 16:16, it says, "Three times a year all your males shall appear before the Lord your God, at the place that he will choose, the feast of unleavened bread, at the Feast of Weeks and the Feast of Booths and they shall not appear before the Lord empty-handed." Now, before the exile to Babylon and really, even more clearly, before the split, of the Northern and Southern Kingdom, the Israelites traveled joyfully and easily, from all over the Promised Land from Dan to Beersheba and they made their way up to Jerusalem. As a matter of fact, there's a whole body of Psalms called The Songs Of Ascent that they would sing, as they were making their pilgrimage three times a year. Psalm 122:1 is a Song of Ascent and it says, "I rejoice with those who said to me, 'Let us go up to the house of the Lord.'" So they're singing these songs and they're traveling and they enjoyed that. It would be a major part of the rhythm of the year of the Jews. It would be unthinkable for a Jew not to observe Passover, to not travel up to Jerusalem and do that. Now, of course, after the exile this became much more difficult. It became much more difficult to make the pilgrimage from wherever you'd been scattered and go all the way to Jerusalem, to see this, to observe this feast, and yet there were still some Jews that did it. As a matter of fact, if you look in the Book of Acts and you see in the day of Pentecost when the Holy Spirit was poured out on the church and all of the church, those Jews that had trusted in Christ, the apostles and a small number, about 120 in the upper room. They were gathered but it says in Acts 2:5 "Now, there were staying in Jerusalem, God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven." So people had traveled from all around the Mediterranean and as far as they been dispersed and they had made their way up to Jerusalem to observe this religious feast. They're listed in Acts 2:9-11 "Parthians, Medes and Elamites, residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus in Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene. Visitors from Rome, both Jews and converts to Judaism." Now that's interesting. Many scholars believe that was the beginning of the church at Rome the day of Pentecost, as visitors from Rome heard the Gospel preached by Peter filled with the Spirit. They came to faith in Christ and then went back to their home in Rome, and they started the church, and they were both Jews and converts of Judaism a mixed church there and that's how it began. And so we see the concern for spiritual days. It's right there written in the Old Covenant, the festivals and most scholars agree that at least it means this: It has to do with these religious festivals that the Jews, observed. Now in the New Covenant, the Lord has been very clear that these ceremonial days, these ceremonial observances have been fulfilled, they're no longer binding on the Christian these thrice annual feast at least pointed to Christ's work on the cross so beautifully. Don't they? How Passover, the blood of the lamb, shed so that the angel of death passed over has been fulfilled as Jesus died at Passover, and then the feast of weeks, Pentecost happened at the first fruit when the first fruits were gathered in they would go celebrate and you can see how spiritually these 3000 that were added to their number were like first fruits of the Gospel. It's been fulfilled. The final one we're still waiting for. But that doesn't mean it's binding on us, namely the last fruits, when the last gathering has come in and the final trumpet will sound and everything will be done. But you see how they really just picture the work of Jesus Christ in working salvation. Ceremonial Days Now Fulfilled Now the message very clearly that Paul gives in Colossians and we'll talk about in a minute, is that these things have been fulfilled. Colossians 2:16 and 17 says, "Therefore, do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a new moon celebration or a Sabbath day, these are a shadow of the things that were to come. The reality, however, is found in Christ." So what he's saying is that these feasts pointed toward Christ, they pointed toward the Gospel and now they have been fulfilled. Christ Himself pointed to a day when they would no longer need to go to this one place Jerusalem to worship he said in John Chapter 4 to the Samaritan woman, "Woman believe me, a time is coming when you'll worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem, God is a spirit. And those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth." And so he's pointing to a time when they wouldn't be required to come to Jerusalem, and worship, but they could worship anywhere because God is a spirit. Now, Paul's message here in Romans is one of freedom, but also one of conviction by the Holy Spirit. Like the eating laws the time for these has been fulfilled. It has been... It's passed by now. In Galatians, Paul is adamant that the Gentile believers there, understand their freedom in Christ, they're set free from the law, they're set free from the ceremonial regulations of circumcision and all of the ceremonies of the Law of Moses. They didn't have to do it anymore. And so in Galatians 5:1, he says, "It is for freedom that Christ has set you free, stand firm then and don't let yourself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. He wants them to be as free as Christ intends for them to be free and he talks about this earlier in Galatians 4:9-11, he says "Now that you know God or rather have been known by God. How is it that you're turning back to those weak and miserable principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again? You're observing special days and months and seasons and years. I fear for you that somehow I've wasted my efforts on you." So he's actually very strong about this observation of special days. He says that shows you don't understand the Gospel. So that's a big concern. There it would have been wrong for them to continue to observe these special days because it showed they're acting like slaves, and not like sons and daughters of God. The time for ceremonial requirements is over. But then the question is, "Can somebody still observe them, is that okay? Can we choose to do it even though we know we don't have to do it, can we choose to do it? Can we can still keep the old feast?" Well, Paul would say, Yes, as long as you understand the covenant of grace and how we're saved by the work of Jesus Christ on the cross and not by this legal observance, we learn from the book of Hebrews that the time that you can observe it is coming to an end soon anyway, they were in a transition period as I mentioned last time, in which you could still go to the temple, you could still observe these feasts and these festivals but it wouldn't be long before the Romans would put an end to that by destroying the temple. What About the Sabbath? Now we come to the real question of this text, and that is, is Paul talking about the Sabbath is he talking about the Sabbath the Sabbath observance? Many Christian groups like Eric Liddell's have considered themselves strict Sabbatarians. So I actually looked up and found how orthodox Jews living in Jerusalem today, keep the sabbath regulation, and I found that there's nobody that comes close to them. If you want strict Sabbatarianism just find out what the Orthodox Jews are doing in Jerusalem and see if that's how you'd like to live. Listen to this description according to a 1987 Associated Press story this is how orthodox ultra-Orthodox Jews observe the Sabbath. In Jerusalem before the Jerusalem Sabbath siren wails at sundown Friday night, marking the beginning of the Sabbath. Orthodox Jews unscrew the light bulbs in their refrigerators so as not to inadvertently turn them on and violate the Sabbath. Now in Exodus 23, you're forbidden to light a fire in your dwelling place, on the Sabbath. So they feel that if you open the refrigerator the incandescent light bulb will be lighting a fire on the Sabbath, and so they unscrew it. They turn off their water heaters. That would include all heaters, like middle of the winter, everything any fire, it's out, they hide money because it's a reminder of daily labor instead of divine rest. They cut their toilet paper in advance because ripping it would violate a Sabbath regulation, so they cut it out in certain measured amounts they light tall white candles moments before the sun down, so it's... Timing's everything so they don't want to waste too much of the candle, so they wait moments before the siren because you're not allowed to light the match, but once it's lit it can keep on burning. You see, once the Sabbath has begun. These are some of the acts prohibited during the Sabbath. Taking a bath, opening an umbrella touching a pen. Because they feel writing is work. Strict but complicated carrying laws govern what objects may be lifted and how far they may be moved. Doesn't that sound like John 5, where Jesus healed a man and told them to pick up his mat, and go home, and the Sabbath police came and got him on mat carrying. He's a mat carrier. Well, I'm healed 40 years I've been... Oh you're mat carrier who told you to carry your mat. There's this whole attitude the Sabbath police. And so they... Even today the ultra-Orthodox Jews, have rules on what you can carry and how far. Much of the Sabbath, is spent in three long ritual meals usually shared with friends who arrive on foot and interrupted frequently by blessings and ancient Hebrew songs. Each meal begins with bread season heavily with salt, which must everybody has to eat, to remind them of coming out of Egypt with Moses. Cooking is forbidden pre-cooked food is kept warm by turning a burner on low before the Sabbath, and covering it with a copper plate, so it's burning the whole time, but they have to ignite it before the Sabbath, starts. The whole mentality of strict Sabbath observance is not the mentality of a son or daughter of God, do you see it? And this is what this man says, Yitzhak Wexler an orthodox Jew says "the Sabbath celebration following six days of work is an inalterable contract with God. Either we keep the contract as God commands or we lose the Jerusalem, he gave us." Do you see the fear in that? That God's going to, He's going to destroy us, if we don't keep this. It's the mentality of a slave or of a contract worker. Is Paul Even Talking About the Sabbath? Now the key point of disagreement for Christians however, as we come to Romans 14 is, is Paul even talking about the Sabbath? Notice that the word Sabbath is never mentioned here. It doesn't come up, it just says one man considers one day more sacred than another, another man considers every day alike, so word Sabbath doesn't even show up. If Paul is referring to the Sabbath in my opinion, it ends Sabbatarianism forever. But he doesn't openly say it so we're still open to discussion that's how it works. And so Christian commentators are divided on this. John Murray who is Sabbatarian, put it this way, [If Paul is referring to the Sabbath in Romans 14:5], "this would mean the Sabbath regulation in the 10 Commandments does not continue to have any binding obligation upon believers in the New Testament economy. The Sabbath regulation would be no different than any of Moses' ceremonial laws. Secondly, the observance of the first day of the week, the Lord's day, would have no sacred significance either since Paul is freeing the Roman Christians from any special observances. Thirdly, the one who continued to observe a weekly Sabbath, the Lord's day would actually be seen in Romans 14 to be the weaker brother, because he had not yet attained to a fully mature view of the Lord's work of salvation. Just like the weak brother who can't eat certain foods, because of his conscience. So also the one who observes a weekly day of rest and sacred worship would seem to be weak in his faith." And for John Murray those three things are unthinkable, and so he cannot come to the conclusion that Paul is even talking about Romans 14. In general, Christians who have a very high view of the Sabbath, who feel that Christians, should be strict and dedicated to setting apart one day in seven, as holy to the Lord, who feel that it's a great sin not to do so, would utterly reject any idea that Romans 14 is talking about the Sabbath. But I believe that Romans 14 is talking about the Sabbath. And I think it's important, we could talk for hours and hours about this issue, the issue of the Sabbath and how Christians are to observe. And I have a number of things that I want to say, but I don't want to do them. What I want to do is get you to look at two passages in particular, take your Bibles and look at Colossians 2, which I've already alluded to, but for me, it's probably one of the most significant verses on this whole issue. Colossians 2:16-17. Colossians 2: 16, 17 says this, "Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day, these including the Sabbath day are a shadow of the things that were to come. The reality, however, is found in Christ." To me, that's a very strong verse on this issue very strong. First of all, I want you to notice that it's very hard to obey Paul's injunction here. Look what he says in 2:16, "Do not let anyone judge you by what you do on a Sabbath day." Well, I don't know how you're going to pull that off, okay? I think perhaps what it means is don't take it to heart if they do and try to persuade them not to based on Romans 14. That's what I get out of it. Other than that, they're going to go ahead and judge. But in effect, he's saying, "Don't let it concern you." They are not the one who's going to be sitting over you on judgment day, so don't take it to heart, and certainly don't do it yourself." But even more significant to me is the idea that these things, the Sabbath in particular, is a shadow. The reality is found in Christ. This is the exact language used in the Book of Hebrews to talk about all of the ceremonial law. Shadow - Reality. Shadow is Old Covenant, reality is found in Christ. The second passage, I want you to look at is Hebrews Four. So turn your Bible's to Hebrews 4:1. "Therefore since the promise of entering His rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it." There he's talking about the fact that the Jews refused through unbelief to enter the promised land. They refused to enter in, they were afraid in the time of Moses, and they turned back, and for 40 years, they had to wander in the desert because of their unbelief. You remember that terrible, terrible story. And what the author is doing is, what happened there, picturesquely in the Old Covenant. Now, it's a very serious issue concerning the New Covenant. If you refuse to enter into the rest of the new covenant, by believing in Jesus. If you refuse to come in to the rest of Christ's salvation you'll be destroyed just as they were. So it's a very serious thing he's saying here, "For we also have had the Gospel preach to us. Just that they did, but the message they heard was of no value to them, because those who heard did not combine it with faith." Now look at verse 3, "Now we who have believed enter that rest, just as God has said, 'So I declared on oath in my anger. "They shall never enter my rest."'" He's saying by faith, we enter the rest that he has in mind and that rest is salvation clearly, because he's talking about the gospel. "'So I declared on oath in my anger. "They shall never enter my rest."' And yet His work has been finished since the creation of the world. For some where God has spoken about the seventh day in these words, 'and on the seventh day God rested from all his work,' and again, in the passage above, he says, 'They shall never enter my rest.' It still remains that some will enter that rest, and that those who formerly had the Gospel preached to them did not go in because of their disobedience. Therefore, God again set a certain day calling it 'today.' When a long time later, He spoke through David as was said before, 'Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts.'" Now, let me stop there and say The most important day of the week, is always the same. It's today. That is the spirit of Romans 14, in my opinion. Today and today and today do you understand our whole lives are woven together by a series of today's. And you can enter your Sabbath rest, today, whether today's a Sunday or a Wednesday or a Friday, it doesn't matter, it's the day that God calls you through faith in Christ, the day that you believe the Gospel, you will enter your rest. That's the vital day of the Christian life. It's today. Now today happens to be a Sunday and therefore for me this is the most important day of the week, right now today, because I can't do anything about yesterday and I can't really do anything about tomorrow except affect it by decisions I make today. But today, today is the day I must obey, I must follow. For if Joshua verse eight had given them rest, God would not have spoken later about another day, "There remains then a Sabbath rest for the people of God. For anyone who enters God's rest, also rests from his own work, just as God did rest from his. Let us therefore make every effort to enter that rest so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience." What rest is, he encouraging them to enter. Its salvation through faith in Christ. As Jesus said in Matthew 11, "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you what, I'll give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart. And you will find rest for your souls for my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Jesus is inviting any of you are hearing me today to enter the true final Sabbath rest, faith in Jesus Christ. And when you do, you will in some mysterious and spiritual way rest from your labors. And now Jesus says, "My Father is always at His work." So yeah, there's still works to be done, but your soul is at rest, in Christ, He's come to your home." To me, I think Colossians 2 says that the Old Testament Sabbath was just a shadow the reality is, Christ. Hebrews 4 explains the theology of the Sabbath and what it was meant for. Now we could go on and on and debate if we had an open forum. You could say "Yes but, it's right there in the 10 commandments written by the finger of God and so it is", and therefore I respect anybody who says, "I believe this is a lasting timeless commandment for all people, all cultures, all times because it's in the 10 Commandments. I respect that this is not an easy issue. And clearly, Paul doesn't say one thing one way or the other, he says, Whatever you believe be certain about it in your own convictions, and act according to your own convictions. III. Paul’s Command Concerning Ourselves: Live for the Lord Alone And so, Paul gives a command, concerning ourselves we should live for ourselves alone. Look at verse 5, go back please, to Romans 14 and look at Verse 5. "One man considers one day more sacred than another. Another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind." The act of setting aside a special day for spiritual purposes should be between you and God. It's something you decided to do to please God and to honor Him. You must be completely persuaded in your own mind that this is what God wants you to do. If your conscience is bothering you, you're not acting in faith. And we'll find out later in Romans 14, that whenever you do not act by faith, you're in sin. Look at verse 23, it says there, "The man who has doubts is condemned if he eats because his eating does not come from faith and everything that does not come from faith is sin." So whatever you believe about the Sabbath be completely convinced in your own mind, and then act according to your conscience, act according to your commitment, act by faith. If you believe the Sabbath regulation is still binding on the conscience of a Christian and if you violate that, for you, it is sin. Secondly, not just be fully convinced, but you need to live for the Lord. Look at verse 6-8, "He regards one day as special does, so the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for gives thanks to God, and he who abstains does so the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord and if we die we die to the Lord, so whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord." Paul's call here is to live a life directly to the Lord. Live a life directly to Christ directly in His face, in His eyes, to please Him, directly to Him. This is a far more powerful compulsion than any legal requirement ever was. Christ has redeemed us from the law and He has called us up into a higher relationship with Him, not as slaves following rules, but his sons and daughters following relationship. It's a higher way to live, because we're not under law but under grace. Therefore regarding one day as sacred is perfectly fine. Beneficial even. If you want to do all you're cooking on Saturday night, so you can have more time for rest and worship on Sunday, fine. If you want to abstain from watching spectator sports on Sunday, so that you can concentrate on prayer and Bible reading that's great. If you desire to abstain from going to restaurants or any businesses on Sunday, fine. But if you're doing so out of guilt, rather than by faith, you're sinning. And if you're forcefully persuading others to do the same or judging people who don't do what you do, you're sinning. Now, that doesn't mean we can't talk about it. Tell me what you think? What do you think about making the Sabbath a delight? There's a book out there talking about that very thing, picking up on The Book of Isaiah, talking about making the Sabbath a delight, and it's got some wonderful things about the way to enrich a Sunday fellowship enrich time and be spiritual. But what is removed is that ultra orthodox legal feeling that if we don't do this, we're going to get condemned by God Almighty. That's thinking like a slave, and brothers and sisters, we have been redeemed from that, we're out from under the law by the blood of Christ. Part of that is the danger of people pleasing, isn't it? Living your life in front of an audience of human beings, thinking What will they think, What will the neighbors think spiritually if I do this or that. It's so easy to begin to live a life to please others. We know that we're constantly being observed. Constantly judged, constantly assessed. It's easy to slip into a pattern of caring more about what others think about your decisions, then you do what the Lord thinks. Paul wants us to live and die for the Lord here. IV. Paul’s Command Concerning Others: Let the Lord Alone Judge Paul also gives us a command concerning others, and that is let the Lord alone judge. Christ has earned the right to judge, He has earned the right of being Lord and judge of the conscience. Look at verse 9, "For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life, so that He might be the lord of both the dead and the living." Christ died on the cross. Did you? Christ was raised from the dead, were you? Do you have the right to stand over someone else's conscience as Lord of Heaven and Earth, as Lord of the living and the dead and make an assessment of their conscience. This is the strong language that Paul is using here. Christ died that He might be the lord of the conscience, He earned that right, His title is clear, Lord of all. He rules over the whole universe. "All authority in Heaven and Earth has been given to me," said Jesus. And He won this right to claim allegiance over the hearts of His people. And this is especially true when it comes to judging. This is Christ's special glory, He said in John chapter 5, "Moreover, the father judges no one, but Has entrusted all judgment to the Son, that all may honor the Son, even as they honor the Father." And then later in John 5, He says, "The Father has given Christ authority to judge because He is the son of man." Therefore a true Christian life is lived moment by moment in realization, of Christ's authority and moment by moment in a desire to please him. Human judges, therefore show arrogance, when they judge other people's consciences. They're taking a place that isn't theirs, that they haven't earned. Because Jesus said, "When the son of man comes in all his glory, and all the holy angels with Him, He will sit on His throne in Heavenly glory, and all the nations will be gathered before Him and He will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. That is His unique glory and His unique right, what right therefore, do we have to judge our brother or look down on him? Look at verse 4, "Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls." And then in Verse 10, "You then why do you judge your brother. Or why do you look down on your brother for we will all stand before God's judgment seat." Therefore, Christians judging others on disputable matters of the conscience are really taking an arrogant role. V. Christ’s Exalted Role: Lord and Judge of Heaven and Earth Christ's exalted role therefore is Lord and judge of Heaven and Earth. Look at verse 11-12. "It is written 'as surely as I live, says the Lord, every knee will bow before me and every tongue will confess to God,' so then each of us will give an account of himself to God." Do you see how he introduces the quote in Isaiah? As surely as I live, says the Lord. He puts an oath on it. As surely as I live every knee will bow before me and every tongue will swear. That's powerful. It's something that's definitely going to happen. What's so remarkable is that Paul takes that awesome monotheistic quote, ascribed to the God of Isaiah and ascribes it to Jesus in Philippians 2. "Therefore God exalted Him to the highest place and gave Him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus, every knee should bow in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God, The Father." So what is your future in mind? According to this text, Romans 14:12. We will all give an account of ourselves to God, we're going to stand before Him and He will separate us from the unbelievers, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. And is that the end of the assessment? No. You're going to give an account for everything that you have done in the body. 2 Corinthians 5-10, says, "We must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done in the body, whether good or bad." So yes, we're free from condemnation by the blood of Jesus, but we're not free from stewardship accountability. We will give an account and here in we find our protection from both legalism and license. From legalism, in that none of us has the right to be the judge. Jesus alone is the judge. But from license, because I know, let me just speak for myself, I know I will have to give an account to Christ for every decision I make in this world. And therefore I must do it as the Holy Spirit leads my own conscience to His glory. I must do it, verse 23, All by faith that He will be pleased with me. VI. Application What application can we take from this? Well, first stop judging others. And you say, "No, wait, I don't do that, that's a problem other people have." Well, if we don't do that, then why are there so many verses about this phenomenon? I have found myself judging people, I found myself judging other drivers. I have. And found myself doing the very same thing they were doing within a week. Sometimes within the hour. We just judge people because there's pride inside us. And we wanna put ourselves above and say, "Well I wouldn't do that on a Sunday. Look at that man he's mowing his lawn." You don't even know the man's name. But he's mowing his lawn on the Sunday, and therefore he's got to be x, y, and z. We do it. Stop judging. You don't know him, you don't know his situation. Secondly, can I urge you to just do some research and determine biblically, what you believe about the Sabbath? I've given you my case, my conscience is clear in this. Colossians 2 and Hebrews 4 settles the matter for me. I believe the Sabbath rest has been fulfilled through faith in Jesus Christ. I think there are other verses that dictate what I do on a Sunday. I believe we must assemble together. We must not forsake the assembling of ourselves together. Hebrews 10:24-25. And so I want to be with all of you. We'll talk about that more in a minute. But you need to find out what you believe about the 10 Commandments about the fourth commandment in particular, how you're going to carry so that you will not violate your own conscience only you can do that research for yourself. Whatever you believe you work it out between yourself and God that's what the text tells you to do. The third, may I make an appeal to you, to assess the benefits of some Sabbath rest, a regular disciplined consistent Sabbath rest. Let me make an analogy. We are not required anywhere in the New Testament to fast, but fasting is beneficial spiritually. Let me make another parallel. All foods are clean, but I would not advise eating a whole big bowl of pork fat. I mean, you can do it if you want, but I wouldn't do it, I wouldn't advise it. It has no spiritual impact on you, but it might have all kinds of physical impacts, and I believe so also does working for 63 consecutive days. We're not machines. And I think the Lord in His wisdom, has given us a rhythm of work and rest of work and rest that we need to still honor. Don't be arrogant and think you don't need to rest in the Lord, and that's physically. Now let me speak spiritually. We tend to forget the word of God. We tend to forget what life is about and so it's beneficial to hear good preaching and to be with brothers and sisters in Christ and to receive the benefits of the spiritual gifts. It's beneficial. Do you think you can get along without it? You think you don't need the Body of Christ ministering to you? You need it. So physically and spiritually it is wise to have one day in seven set apart for God. And then practically speaking, it's good to know what day it is. Imagine if we were on a shifting kind of calendar constantly moving. Alright, when is it this week? Well, it's Tuesday. I didn't get the news. And imagine if you are traveling. And so God in His Providence has arranged this first day of the week, based on some verses in the New Testament, but all over the world, Christians have, for the most part, accepted the first day of the week, and as the Sabbath looked back at the old creation, completed by God, the first day of the week looks ahead to the new creation that Christ began and inaugurated when He was raised from the dead. And so we celebrate on the Lord's day and look ahead to what He has yet to do. And so, the Sabbath has changed on the first day of the week. That's when we get together. Freed from meticulous questions about whether or not starting a car consists in lighting a fire on the Sabbath. Had you like to work that one out? It's a long walk to church friends. Very long, and you're probably violating the Sabbath day journey thing there. We're all going to be living right around here, in an enclave or else we're going to say the lighting the fire thing on the Sabbath was fulfilled in Christ. And I can drive to church and it's okay. More than anything we'll be freed from that feeling of defilement that comes when you break a law or a rule. Instead, we're free. We're sons and daughters of God. Fourthly, live every moment for the Lord, the issue of the Sunday Ball Game or The Sunday lawn mowing begins to fade into a deeper question. How can I live every moment for the Lord who gave His life for me? How can I make the most of every opportunity? Is a four-hour football game the best investment of my time on Friday or Saturday never mind on Sunday? Sometimes the answer may be yes for a brother or sister in Christ, the Lord will give you this desire and fulfill it. Sometimes the answer will be no, the Lord will give you another desire a higher desire and fulfill that. The mentality Paul is giving here is to learn how to live every moment and make every decision concerning what would most please the Lord, who died for me, and rose for me, and who will assess my whole life. Not if I break this rule, he'll punish me. I want to close with an illustration that I think, I hope will be helpful to you concerning this whole question. Imagine a young family. Tomorrow's mommy's birthday. Father takes the little child aside and says, "Now, you know, tomorrow's mommy's birthday. And she loves it when you draw pictures for her, pictures with the meadows and the trees and the horses and stuff. She really loves your pictures. Now here's all the paper you need, here's all the crayons you need. Make her a picture, do something to make her happy." And you just give the child the freedom to create. But then the child wastes his time watching Veggie Tales videos and playing computer games. The next day comes and the child has nothing to give and starts to cry. Now, what's the mommy going to do. Is the mommy going to kick the child out of the family for not having made the card? Should the family enact a law about card-making for birthdays? No, the mommy's probably going to take the crying child and hold the child and talk to the child but then at some later point, talk to that little child, about wise choices and about love. And I think in the same way, what are you going to do with today? You're going to present it to God, what's going to be on it, how are you going to use it? Today and today and today, how are you going to present it to Him? Are you going to cry over wasted time. Or you're going to give glory and honor to God by choosing what honors Him the most because you want to, because you yearn to, not because some law forces you. Close with me in prayer.

sermon transcript Introduction Please open your Bibles to Genesis 13. We are looking at this chapter that has already been read for you this morning, and continuing in our study in the Book of Genesis. As we come to Genesis 13, we come to a story of human conflict and we also come to the beginning of a contrast. So, I look at this as a chapter of conflict and of contrast. I was reading recently about a tragedy that happened in the summer of 1986. Two ships collided in the Black Sea and sank, both of them, bringing hundreds of passengers to the cold depths with them. This is a great tragedy in any case, but it became even more bitter when the cause of the tragedy of the two ships crashing together became known. It turned out that each of the two captains knew of the presence and the direction of the other ship, but neither one was willing to divert their course. And so, they continued steaming toward one another, charging the other to turn, until it was too late to stop the momentum of the ships, and they crashed into each other and both sank. Now, you might say, "What kind of stubbornness would result in this kind of a tragedy?" But all you have to do is look in your own heart and realize how much each of us plays the role of one of those ship captains from time to time. How we are unwilling to divert our course even if it brings suffering and tragedy to ourselves or our family, because we're just not willing to turn, we're not willing to yield, we're not willing to avoid the conflict for the sake of the relationship. I think as we come to Genesis 13, we see the way not to do a conflict on the one part, and then the way by Abraham's faith that a conflict can be avoided and by faith, overcome. I think we have a wonderful role model and example for us through the faith of Abram. We also see in this, I think, the beginning of a contrast, and it's not a major theme in these chapters in Genesis, but it's there. It's the contrast between the faithlessness of Lot and the outcome of his life, and the faithfulness of Abram, and this is a constant theme in scripture. In 1986, when I was on route to a mission trip I was taking in Kenya, I had the opportunity to visit one of the old diamond houses there in Amsterdam with some friends of mine and we wanted to look at some diamonds. It was unforgettable. I remember they served us ginger ale in goblets and all this kind of thing, and it was all very classy, and that's the way we spent our 20 hours in Amsterdam. It was a very exciting time. I remember that the salesman as he was bringing out the diamonds, first laid down a black velvet cloth and then sprinkled the diamonds onto the cloth, and the black velvet behind the glistening diamonds provided the perfect backdrop so that the diamonds could catch the light and by contrast, display their characteristics. And so, we see this again and again in scripture, how God will lay out the blackness of someone's sin and of their character, and then contrast it with the faith and the obedience and the love of someone else. So, by contrast, you can see what God wants you to see. Later in Genesis, you will see, for example, the contrast of the bickering selfishness of the sons of Jacob and the character of Joseph, as he stands under the plan of God and is willing to take anything that God sends his way. His arm staying limber to the service of God. Or, you could see, for example, the craven disobedience of King Saul against the man after God's own heart, David, as he was willing to obey God, no matter what God said. Probably best of all, you see this in John 18, the contrast between Peter and his repeated denials of Jesus, and Jesus, the sublime King who is in control of everything and who is totally courageous at every moment. The narrative is interwoven there in John 18 and 19, the faithlessness and cowardice of Peter, and the courage, boldness and the love of Jesus Christ. I think we see the same thing here in Genesis 13, by contrast. We see the faith-filled example of Abram and the faithless choice of Lot. Abram’s Faith-filled Restoration Abram’s Sojourn in Egypt: A Spiritual Disaster Now, what's the context here? As we look in Verses 1 through 4, I see a story of restoration, of Abram's spiritual restoration. It says in Verses 1-4, "So Abram went up from Egypt to the Negev, with his wife and everything he had, and Lot went with him. Abram had become very wealthy in livestock and in silver and gold. From the Negev, he went from place to place until he came to Bethel, to the place between Bethel and Ai where his tent had been earlier and where he had first built an altar. There Abram called on the name of the Lord." Now, Abram's sojourn in Egypt had been a spiritual disaster. A spiritual disaster. It was prompted, I believe, in my reading of the text, by his lack of faith in leaving the Promised Land, to begin with. Remember that God had called Abram to leave his country and his people and his father's household, and go to the land that God would show him. And so, Abram, by faith, left Ur of the Chaldees and then later, by faith, left Haran and eventually ended up in the Promised Land. There God spoke to him and said in Chapter 12, Verse 7, “To your offspring I will give this land.” And so basically, spiritually, you've come home. This is the Promised Land. Well, we see no word of command from God in the text to leave the Promised Land when the famine got severe. Look at Verse 10 of Chapter 12. It says, "Now there was a famine in the land, and Abram went down to Egypt to live there for a while because the famine was severe." Well, was that reason though to leave the Promised Land? Was that reason to turn his back on God and to believe that God could not provide for him? Was there any spiritual order from God to leave the Promised Land now and go down to Egypt? I don't think so. Could not the God who created heaven and earth have provided for Abram and for his household in the Promised Land, even despite the famine? Now, later on, once Abram's faith has been so sharpened and developed through all of these experiences, when his little son Isaac says to him, "Here's wood and fire, but where is the sacrifice?" You remember what Abram said at that point? "God will provide the sacrifice, my son." So, he's reached a different level at that point, but his faith wasn't there. He could have said God will provide food here in the Promised Land, but he didn't. And so, not by faith, but by lack of faith, he left the Promised Land and went to Egypt, and it was nothing but a disaster. It was lack of faith that prompted Abram at that point to say to Sarai in Chapter 12, Verse 13, "Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you.” The whole thing is so craven and cowardly. It doesn't seem befitting a man of Abram's spiritual stature. And, it was lack of faith in God that led Abram immediately into spiritual or physical trouble with Pharaoh. He really had to escape Egypt with his life, it seems, he's evicted almost from the country. The whole thing had been a faithless exercise and a spiritual disaster but the beautiful thing is, where we are faithless, God will remain faithful. It says in 2 Timothy 2:13, "For he cannot disown himself." How many of us count on that, for God to be faithful even when we are faithless? That really is the story of my salvation and yours as well. A faithful God who never forgets what He's about, and who continues to work with sinners like us, even when we make great mistakes and commit sins. And so, this has been a spiritual disaster. Abram “Heavy” with Wealth As Abram comes out of Egypt, he's bringing some baggage with him. He's bringing some baggage with him. Abram is literally heavy with wealth. Look at Verse 2, it says, "Abram had become very wealthy in livestock and in silver and gold." Now, the Hebrew literally is heavy, heavy with wealth. Gold, for example, is among the densest metals known to man. I calculated this out if my Bible here, which I'm lifting with one hand, if it were made of gold, it would weigh 42 pounds. Forty-two pounds. A 42-pound Bible, how would you like that? Or this podium here, I calculated this out, you wonder when I have time for this, and I really don't, but as you're looking this podium would be well over a ton if it were made of gold. And here is Abram coming out of Egypt, heavy with wealth. Well, it's one thing if you have a house with a foundation and you don't have to move much to be heavy with wealth. It has its own problems. But here is Abram traveling about in tents by camels, I guess, going from place to place. Wealth can be a crushing burden and can be a big problem as much as a blessing. John Lippett said, "I've been more bossed by my fortune than I've bossed it." I love that quote. Sometimes the wealth can be in charge of you rather than you in charge of the wealth. God sometimes does permit godly people to become wealthy. It does happen, but even then, it's a great burden and it comes with a warning. In 1 Timothy 6:17, it says, "Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment." And so, that's a command and a warning in 1 Timothy 6, concerning wealth. Matthew Henry said this about this account in Genesis 13. It says, "Abram was very heavy, so the Hebrew word signifies; for riches are a burden, and those that will be rich do but load themselves with thick clay. There is a burden of care in getting wealth, fear in keeping wealth, temptation in using wealth, guilt in abusing wealth, and sorrow in losing wealth, and a burden of giving an account at the end on Judgment Day concerning the wealth. Great possessions do but make men heavy and unwieldy. Abram was not only rich in faith and good works, and in the promises, but he was rich in cattle, and in silver and gold." Now, Henry goes on to say that God does sometimes in His Providence make good men wealthy for His own reasons, and it is a blessing. But, it is also a burden that he carried with him from Egypt. Soon this wealth and Lot's together will be the cause of their parting ways. If you look at Verses 6 and 7, it says, "But the land could not support them while they stayed together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to stay together. And quarreling arose between Abram's herdsmen and the herdsmen of Lot. The Canaanites and Perizzites were also living in the land at that time." Abram Returns to His Spiritual Roots Because of their wealth and because of all of their possessions, they were not able to stay together, we'll say more on this in a moment. So, Abram has gone through a spiritual disaster. He's gone down on that sojourn to Egypt; it turned out terribly. He comes back burdened with additional wealth, but he does the right thing. He goes back to his spiritual roots. He knows that he needs restoration. He needs spiritual renewal and refreshment. Abram needed his soul restored, and the text stresses this in a number of ways. Look at Verse 3 again, "From the Negev he went from place to place until he came to Bethel." Now, the word Bethel means literally, House of God. House of God. So, he came to Bethel, the place between Bethel and Ai where his tent had been earlier. This is harkening back to the earlier days of his time in the Promised Land, and the text does this on purpose. He's returning to his roots; he's going back to where he started. In Verse 4, it says, "where he had first built an altar." That's very important. That was the place where he called on the name of the Lord after he had received the promise of receiving the Promised Land. He built an altar and he lifted up holy hands in prayer to God, and his faith was strong then, but now it's not. Sin has brought him low, he's weak spiritually, and he needs to go back and start over again. And aren't you glad God lets you do it? Aren't you glad that He restores you and doesn't cast you off? I praise God for that. And so, he does the right thing, he doesn't give up on his walk with God, he doesn't give up on the promise, but he goes back and he looks to his roots. He looks to his spiritual foundation. He goes back to where he had first built an altar and there it says, "Abram called on the name of the Lord." The fact of the matter is, in our sojourning with Jesus here in this world, every day is not sweeter than the day before. Sometimes we get ourselves into spiritual deserts through sin and through bad choices like Abram, and we need to be renewed and restored. It says in Psalm 23, "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters." And what's the next part? "…he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake." And that's exactly what's going on here in Genesis 13. Abram's soul and his vision are being restored by God. He's being renewed. Now, it could be that that is what you need today. I have no idea what's going on in your life. I have no idea what spiritual state you came in through the doors with today. I don't know what you did last week, over the last few months. I don't know if your quiet times have been what you want them to be. I don't know if your moment-by-moment walking in your obedience is where you think it should be. But perhaps you, like Abram, need to be restored, you need your vision renewed of why it is you're even here in this world. Go back to your roots. For Abram, that meant going back to a physical place. Going back to a physical place. Now, realize God is omnipresent, but yet at the same time, there are certain places that are spiritually significant. Like when God spoke to Moses in Exodus 3:5, and said, "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground." And later on, and I believe another Bethel, God spoke to Jacob, that's where he had his vision, at Luz, it says, of a ladder reaching up to heaven and angels ascending and descending. And Jacob awoke from his dream and in Genesis 28:16-17 he said, "Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it. . . . This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of heaven.” And so, he went back, Abram did, to the place where he had his vision and where he had called on the name of the Lord, and he was restored. And he called on the name of the Lord. Calling on the Name of the Lord This is more than simply prayer. It really has to do with a faith-filled, crying out to God, the God of history, the God who's done all of this up to this point, whatever that point is in redemptive history. The God whose reputation has been built through creation and through the flood of Noah at that point, and through His very call from Ur of the Chaldees, that God, he called on His name. We have a far better understanding of the name of the Lord, don't we? We have a far greater history of redemption and revelation, and we call on the name of the Lord, and this very phrase is the one that Paul picks out and that Peter did at Pentecost and that Joel did to say how we get saved. For it says in Romans 10:13, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." And so, it's simply by calling out to God, the God of Abram, Isaac, and Jacob, I say the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the God who sent Christ in the world to die on the cross, calling on His name, saves our soul. And that's what Abram did. And we don't do it just one time, I believe once saved, always saved, and I know about walking the aisle and praying the prayer and all that, but we call on the name of the Lord all the time, don't we? We keep calling and we keep calling and we trust. And Abram went back and called again. He resumed calling on the name of the Lord. Abram’s Faith-filled Peacemaking, Lot’s Faithless Choice Cause of the Conflict: Wealth Now, in Verses 5-13, we see the conflict coming and the contrast. Abram has been restored, he's been renewed in his walk with God, he's returned to his spiritual roots, he's healthy and strong again. And now it's time for a conflict. That's just the way it is, isn't it? Just when you're getting back on your feet the next trouble comes, but by faith, you can overcome them all, by faith, we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us, and Abram carries himself so beautifully through this conflict. He does so well. The conflict comes as a result of their wealth, as we've already seen, it started with a conflict between the servants who are watching the flocks and herds. I think it had to do with grazing and with water, and there were only so many of these resources because the Canaanites and Perizzites are still in the land at that point. They are getting squeezed for grazing rights. I love history and I love reading about the history of the American West, and I've been reading a book recently about that. During the great cattle drives going up from Texas, up north so that the meat could be distributed throughout the country, the cattle herdsmen constantly got into land battles with the homesteaders, and literally, they became almost shooting wars that would happen between the cattlemen and the homesteaders. It's just a bloody chapter of our history and not well known. Eventually, they had to make corridors with fences so that the cattle could go on and keep them away from the homesteads. You could see the passion that would arise over these kinds of things, the anger and frustration, and I think at a different level, perhaps that's what's going on between the herdsmen of Abram and Lot. They are having constant conflicts over where the cattle get to graze and the water, this was life, the wells were life. Throughout the Book of Genesis, there are struggles over wells and who dug them and who had the right to drink from them, and I think that's what was going on here. What was the cost of their conflict? Well, realize, God said to Abram from the beginning in Genesis 12:3, "I will bless those who bless you." So, Abram is a missionary. Cause of the Conflict: Their Testimony Further Hindered That whole sojourn in Egypt was a spiritual disaster, because what kind of missionary can you be as a con artist and a liar, we need to be restored so we can get away from that. And now, what kind of witness is it that you're arguing with your family and you can't find a place to graze your cattle, you can't get along, and so their testimony is greatly hindered by this conflict. Remember the Book of Philippians, way back when. Philippians 2:14-16 says, "Do everything without complaining or . . ." What? "Arguing." Some of you memorized that verse and said, it's one of the hardest verses of your life. Working on it, some days you do well on the complaining but not the arguing. Some days better on the arguing and not on the complaining. Some days better or neither. But it's a struggle. Do everything without complaining or arguing, and why? "So that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life." Abram’s Faith-filled Example of Peacemaking Well, what kind of star were they as they were arguing and having conflicts? How could they hold out the word of life to the Canaanites and Perizzites as long as they were having this conflict, and so we see Abram, his faith-filled example of peacemaking. Actually, truth be told, Abram never did argue in this account. It was the herdsmen that were having conflicts and it went right up to the top, and so Abram and Lot met together to try to resolve it. Abram gives us an excellent answer of how to end a conflict. Look at Verse 8, it says, “So Abram said to Lot, ‘Let's not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herdsmen and mine, for we are brothers. Is not the whole land before you? Let's part company. If you go to the left, I'll go to the right; if you go to the right, I'll go to the left.’” Now, when I was a child and we were arguing over the last piece of cake, we were told that one person would cut it and the other would get to choose, you see, and that way, there is no conflict. Never has been a cake cut so perfectly as were cut in those days, it's incredible how accurate the cutting can be. Well, why not try this? Why not just cut it however and say, you take the biggest piece, I want you to have what's best. That's about what Abram does here, he says, “Whatever you want. You go ahead and I'll take what's left. I'll take what's left.” It says in Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” If ever there was a marriage verse, that's a good one. Okay. A gentle answer turns away wrath. So why should there be conflict between you and me. Well, there shouldn't be disagreements. “Tell you what, you choose, you go your way, you take whatever you want and we'll take the rest, and don't worry about it.” We see his humility, but I think behind it is faith, because you know why? He's going to get it anyway. Abram's going to get it anyway, God already promised him he was going to get it. So why should there be a conflict? “I'm going to get it anyway. And, if you stay with me, you're going to get it too.” And so, I can just let go. I don't have to have a conflict, you know, there was a problem in the Book of Corinthians, in which the Corinthians were arguing with each other and having divisions and in factions, and even some were suing the others, taking them to court. And Paul says, “Why not rather be wronged?” It's a shameful thing for a Christian brother to be in court with another Christian brother, and that the one is suing the other, it's wickedness. What will the pagans think? Why not rather be wronged? “Why not rather be cheated” than to take somebody to court. But he said earlier in 1 Corinthians 3:21, “. . .no more boasting about men! All things are yours . . .” You are going to get it anyway. So let it go. No more white-knuckled holding on to something earthly. It doesn't matter. Let it go. I think Abram's faith was behind his generosity. We see also his incredible humility here. He says, “We're brothers.” Lot was his nephew and Abram, his uncle, but he calls him a brother. He says, “We are brothers together.” There's a humility here that's very disarming and I think very attractive. I was reading a story recently about Booker T. Washington, who was a renowned Black educator, a very powerful and strong educator and an important man. Shortly after he took over the presidency of the Tuskegee Institute in Alabama, he was walking in a wealthy section of town and a White woman stopped him, and not knowing the famous Mr. Washington by sight, asked him if he would be willing to earn a few dollars by chopping some wood. He said, well, certainly, and took off his coat and rolled up his sleeves and began to do the humble task, and when he had finished, he stacked up the wood, did a great job, and took his pay. Well, as he was doing that, he was recognized by a young girl in the house who told the wealthy lady who this man was after he had left. She was absolutely humiliated by this and went and visited him at his office the next day, and came in and said, she was very, very sorry. He said this, "Don't worry about it, don't worry. I always like to get a little exercise anyway. Besides which, it's always good to do something to help a friend.” It was a very gentle and humble answer. The lady went home, organized some of her wealthiest friends and gave thousands and thousands of dollars to the Tuskegee Institute as a result of his humility. If he had carried himself like a king and said, "Don't you know who I am, I don't chop wood," etcetera, none of those good things would have happened, but he built a friendship and the Tuskegee Institute was blessed by his humility. And, we see the same thing, I think, in Abram. The sacrificial generosity, is not the whole land before you. Let's part company. If you go to the left, I'll go to the right, and if you go to the right, I'll go to the left. Well, Lot at that point made his choice. Imagine Lot standing up on that ridge and looking down and saying, “Okay, that's a good deal, so I get to choose first, wherever whatever I want. Alright, let me go do it then.” So, he looks down. Lot’s Sensual and Selfish Choice: Following the Eyes Look at Verse 10, it says, “Lot looked up and saw that the whole plain of the Jordan was well watered, like the garden of the Lord, like the land of Egypt, toward Zoar. (This was before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.) So, Lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan and set out toward the east. The two men parted company. Abram lived in the land of Canaan, while Lot lived among the cities of the plain and pitched his tents near Sodom,” is what it says. Verse 13 says, “Now the men of Sodom were wicked and were sinning greatly against the Lord.” A. W. Pink in his comment on this text, made much of Lot's eyes. See Lot looked up and saw that the land was watered, and he made a sensual choice, he made a choice based on sense, based on sight, but we walk by faith, the scripture says, not by sight. And so, Lot looked down and saw only what he wanted to see, namely that it was lush and green, and I believe Lot probably at that point had caught a kind of virus from Egypt, the desire for a comfortable and easy affluent life, it's a spiritual virus that he's caught, and so he's led by his eyes there. The Future Cost of Lot’s Faithless Choice And this is the beginning of a decline or a descent for Lot, that will end up in incredible shame. I mean, it's a long, long way down. He looks down and he sees the land and sees that it's lush, but there are some things he cannot see. For example, he cannot see the true spiritual condition of Sodom, he can't see what's going on there. We get some hints in the text concerning God's feelings toward Sodom. Look at Verse 10, “the land was well watered,” it says, but this was before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. That's a bit of a warning, isn't it? There's kind of a heaviness, like a sword of Damocles hanging over Sodom and Gomorrah, this was before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. But Lot couldn't see that when he looked down at the plain, he did not see their great wickedness in the sight of God. Look at Verse 13, “Now the men of Sodom were wicked and were sinning greatly against the Lord.” Allow me to paraphrase, Jonathan Edwards, “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God,” and apply it to this situation. There were black clouds of God's wrath now hanging directly over the heads of the Sodomites, full of the dreadful storm and big with thunder. Had it not been for the restraining hand of God, it would have immediately burst forth upon Sodom. The sovereign pleasure of God at that moment in history was staying his rough wind, otherwise it would have come with fury, and Sodom's destruction would have come like a whirlwind, and the Sodomites would have been like the chaff of the summer threshing floor. The wrath of God was like great waters that had been dammed for the present, they increased more and more and rose higher and higher until an outlet was given at last. The longer the stream was stopped, the more rapid and mighty was its course, when once it was let loose. The floods of God's vengeance had been withheld, but Sodom's guilt was in the meantime, constantly increasing, and every day they were storing up more and more wrath. The waters were constantly rising and waxing more and more mightily, and there was nothing but the mere pleasure of God that held the waters back, that were unwilling to be stopped and pressed hard to go forward. If only God had withdrawn his hand from the flood gate, it would have immediately flown open the fiery floods of fierceness, and the wrath of God would have rushed forth with inconceivable fury and come upon Sodom with omnipotent power, and if the strength of each Sodomite was 10,000 times greater than it was, yes, 10,000 times greater than the strength of the stoutest, sturdiest devil in hell, it would have been nothing to withstand or endure. The bow of God's wrath was bent and the arrow was made ready on the string and justice bent the arrow directly at Sodom's heart and strained the bow, and it was nothing but the mere pleasure of God, and that of an angry God, without any promise or obligation at all, that kept the arrow one moment from being made drunk with Sodom's blood. Jonathan Edwards reply applied to Sodom, and that's exactly what Lot could not see. The wrath was coming. Why live there? What else could Lot not see? He couldn't see the future, he couldn't see what would happen to his own heart by living there, the future cost of Lot's faithless choice, a gradual corruption enticed little by little by the life of Sodom. At first, he saw it from afar, standing up there on the ridge, and he didn't see anything, all he sees is well-watered plain land where he can go down with his flocks and herds and be away from Abram and away from the conflict. That's what he sees initially. Then the text says he pitched his tents in the direction of Sodom, you see he is closer now, he's living, but he's not in Sodom yet, he's just moving in that direction. And then in Chapter 14, the next account, he's abducted along with the other Sodomites and taken away by Kedorlaomer, and he has got to be rescued by Abram, and Abram does rescue him, but then. . . Already knowing what the people were like, he chose to go back and live there some more. The next time we see him, he is actually living in the city and seems to have a job as the gatekeeper or some kind of local city official. The people know his righteous commitments and stand because he says, he is this foreigner come to judge us, so he's probably already said, “Hey, you shouldn't do this,” or “You. . .” But it's not very strong. He is getting watered down, he's getting weakened, his wife became totally enamored with the life in Sodom and could not bear to leave, and despite the angels warning, "Don't look back at the city," she looked and was turned into a pillar of salt. And so, Jesus said, “Remember, Lot's wife.” Lot's sons-in-law had absolutely no intention of leaving Sodom when the angels came. No intention whatsoever. They stayed there. They mocked him and ridiculed him. And so, they stayed in and perished. Lot's daughters came with him though, with great reluctance, and they fled. He ends up in a cave with his daughters. I think they thought the entire world had been destroyed, and he ends up getting them pregnant after he got drunk. He didn't know what he was doing. It's one of the most shameful and despicable stories in the whole Bible and it began at that moment when Lot was just standing up there on the ridge looking down over the plain, and it looked good to him, and he figured he would travel there and see what it was like. And yet, Lot is a story of God's redemption as well. Frankly, if it weren't for 2nd Peter, I wouldn't know anything good to say about Lot, but it does say in 2nd Peter that Lot was a righteous man who was tormented in his righteous soul by the lawless deeds he saw and heard, and God sent an angel to rescue him, sent two angels to rescue. The angel says in Genesis 19:22, “But flee there quickly, because I cannot do anything until you're safe.” That shows you something about God, doesn't it? Praise God for His faithfulness to His own. God’s Renewed Promise to Abram Lot’s Separation from Abram and Its Significance And so, we see the contrast, that is Lot's faithless choice, and we see how long the slide was, you talk about the slippery slope, it starts up here and it ends up down there, somewhere you don't want to be. But in Verses 14 through 18, we see God's renewed promise to Abram; Lot's separation from Abram was significant. Lot and Abram clearly had different agendas and different world views at that moment. Lot wanted to live by sight, Abram wanted to live by faith, they had to separate, and so they did. God’s Renewed Two-Fold Promise to Abram But God makes his promise to Abram, again, faith must be restored and renewed. This is one of the things that I've learned from studying in the book of Genesis this time, how many times God makes the covenant promises to him again and again and again, it's the same thing. Always a little more information, but God restores and renews faith by the Word of God, and so all of you, if your faith is weak today, get back in the Word, read the scripture. Saturate your mind in the word of God, memorize, meditate, fill your hearts with the scripture, if you came in today weak in faith, getting weary in your spiritual life, get back into the Word of God and in prayer. That's how it starts. And so, He made him the promise in Verses 14-16, “The Lord said to Abram after Lot had parted from him, ‘Lift up your eyes from where you are and look north and south, east and west. All the land that you see I will give to you and to your offspring forever. I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust, then your offspring could be counted.’” Verse 17, I love, “Go, walk through the length and breadth of the land, for I am giving it to you.” What an incredible thing, isn't it? God wanted Abram to touch the soil, to smell it, to feel it, to walk around, to look at this little watered valley or to look at some trees or to look at something. And just have his faith renewed. Say, I'm giving this to you. I'm giving this to you. What would you rather have? Ten years living with Lot, near Sodom, in that well-watered land, or 10 minutes of a walk like that with God and saying, I'm giving this to you, I'm giving that to you. Isn't that marvelous? And yet it's all just words. It's just promise. It's just faith. Two Promises: The Land and Numerous Descendants And the same two promises again and again, I'll give you multiple descendants as numerous as the dust of the Earth, and I'm going to give you this land, north, south, east, and west, go walk through it, I'm giving it to you. And so, He renews his faith, but in Verse 18, Abram has to live in a tent and build altars. That's what he's going to do. Verse 18, “So Abram moved his tents and went to live near the great trees of Mamre at Hebron, where he built an altar to the Lord.” Abram’s Life of Tents and Altars Promised Land is not Possessed Land You know, promised land is not possessed land. Do you know how long it would take for Abram's descendants to get that land? I calculated over 500 years. Now I think back 500 years to what was going on in history, 1504, that's how long it would take for this promise to be fulfilled, 500 years. The land was promised directly to Abram and his descendants, but the Canaanites and Perizzites are still there, and in Genesis 14, Abram is going to be told that his descendants will go to a land not their own and they will be there for 400 years. But that's way down the line, even as it is, Abram died never having received the land, as the book of Hebrews makes plain. Hebrews 11:13 says, “All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth.” Abram Lived in Tents Abram lived in a tent, moved from place to place. Now, I'm not recommending that those of you that have houses with foundations sell them and live in tents. I'm not sure where you'd go, I don't think there's a lot of camping ground around here, and wouldn't it be interesting if all First Baptist members showed up there with tents. But you could have a great witness, I'm sure, as people ask you what you're doing. But there's a symbol here, the idea of a tent is movability and not being weighed down by any sense or illusion of permanence here in this world. You have to carry everything you own with you, and so it kind of benefits you to give it away. Alright, why be burdened by that weight. Abram Built Altars Abram, it says, built altars, in Verse 18, it says “he built an altar to the Lord.” This was the ancestral altar, this is the father of the patriarch setting up the family altar, and there establishing patterns of family devotion that he would teach to his son Isaac and would be passed on from generation to generation, the family altar renewed and established. Perhaps you, as a father, made a commitment to a family altar a short time ago or even a while ago. Maybe you, like Abram, need to go back to the family altar, as it were, and clean the weeds off it, get the stones that have fallen down off it, put them back up, clean it up, and get it working again. That's what Abram had to do with the altar when he came back after Egypt. Maybe that's what you need to do as a father. Spiritual Lessons Now, what kind of spiritual lessons can we take from this story. First of all, on wealth. In this passage, wealth is seen neither as a blessing nor as a curse. Just something to deal with. We see it as a blessing from God for the sustaining of Abram’s family during a famine, because much of the wealth was in livestock and you can eat that and it can help you to survive, but it also was the reason for the quarreling and the parting with Lot. Secondly, on resolving conflict. Abram shows the way that a faith-filled man resolves conflict. If you truly believe that you will inherit the earth someday, then you can say all things are yours, the meek will inherit the earth, let it go. And, if God calls on you to be generous it's easier by faith, resolving conflict then becomes easier, too. The relationship with that individual is more eternal than any of the stuff over which you're having a conflict. A gentle answer turns away wrath. Thirdly, on choosing by faith not by sight, try to make every decision, whether who you should marry, what job you should take, what church you should attend, what you should do with your time, based on faith and what the word of God says. Which of these two choices will bring me closer and closer to the promise of God, and which one is going to lead me away? And if you make a mistake, a wrong judgment like Lot did, have the wisdom to do a U-turn and repent and get out of there before it gets worse and worse and worse. Lot was saved, but is it as if by escaping through the flames, what happened to his life and his witness? What was the fruit of Lot other than a warning? Live by faith not by sight, and on living near Sodom, if you live in the land that's characterized by ease and luxury and sexual perversion, be afraid and be on guard, because brothers and sisters, we do. Are you shocked anymore by the things that are going on in our country? I hope so. I hope we are not numb to what's happening with gay marriage, I hope we are not numb to that, it's the same thing. I hope we're not saying, “Oh, live and let live,” or “it's just the same old thing.” Are we not shocked by some of the things that we see in America today? And even more pointedly, what's happening in your heart as a result of living near Sodom? What's happening in your heart? Guard your heart. And if you've compromised already, understand that the God of this text of Genesis 13 is the God of restoration and renewal, who welcomes sinners back to the promise He originally made to them, and who makes the promise even better the next time. God is a God of restoring faith and grace, renew your faith in God's promises. And finally, be willing to live in a tent, metaphorically. If any of you are thinking of doing it physically, come and talk to me about it, and I'd like to find out what you have in mind. But, basically, acknowledge that nothing here is permanent, there is nothing with a lasting foundation here in this world. And establish the altar in the center of your life, not physically, but a calling out on the name of the Lord. It could be that you are listening to me today and you have never committed your life to Christ. Maybe you have never called on the name of the Lord at all. Maybe Jesus is not your Savior, when you walked in the door, he wasn't. Trust in Him, call on the name of the Lord. Trust in Him for your salvation. And then having done that, walk by faith and not by sight.