Podcasts about midlifers

TRANSCRIPT Gissele: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the Love and Compassion Podcast with Gissele. We believe that love and compassion have the power to heal our lives and our world. Don’t forget to like and subscribe for more amazing content. And if you’d like to support this podcast, don’t forget to buy us a coffee at, buymeacoffee.com/loveandcompassion Gissele: Today we’re talking about relationships and my guests today are Gissele: Zeke and Terry Mead, who are empty nesters, midlife adventure travelers from the San Francisco Bay Area in 2021. After 25 years of marriage and nearly getting divorced, they accidentally rebooted their relationship and embarked on a new set of adventures. Gissele: Embracing their differences in challenging themselves to grow individually and as a couple on a daily basis. They couldn’t be more different, but they have a long history, a solid foundation, and a steadfast commitment to making it work as they travel and explore the world mostly together. Please join me in [00:01:00] welcoming Zeke and Terry Mead. Gissele: Hi. Terry: Hi. Gissele: Hello. Welcome to the show. I was wondering if you wanted to tell the listeners a little bit about how you actually met. Zeke: Terry is the one who usually does it so . Go ahead. Terry: Yeah, usually I do. we’ve known each other for 45 years. We, yeah, we both grew up in the San Francisco Bay area and when we were in elementary school, there was the gifted and talented education program gate. Terry: And all of the kids who are part of gate converged at the same school once a month, twice a month for enrichment activities. And I have an identical twin sister. And one month we showed up at a school. Zeke remembers meeting us. I don’t really remember meeting him. But a couple years later, we all went to the same junior high school. Terry: And so we were in the same classes. And in the eighth grade we went together. For about six weeks. I dumped him. That makes for a better [00:02:00] story if I say that. And then we were friends through high school and if you want the full origin story, we went to different colleges. We dated when we were 21. Terry: I dumped him again. We dated again when we were 24. I dumped him again and then we were 25. I made a list of everything that I wanted in a man for the rest of my life. And Zeke met all the criteria, except he was essentially the boy next door that I dumped three times. So then we were skiing when we were about 25 and had a little bit too much wine that night. Terry: And I just said this needs to be the last time and either we’re going to get married or friendship has to be over ’cause we just can’t keep doing this. And 14 months later, we were married. Gissele: what kept you holding on there? Zeke? Terry: Insanity. Zeke: Yeah. When you are 10, 12, 13 years old and you start to develop these relationships with people, you are [00:03:00] your conscious, gloms onto just interesting, specific, different characteristics. Zeke: And Terry was always someone that was just this person that I was always drawn to. And so whenever our planets would circle back around and come in alignment, it would all be like, okay, so I’m attracted to this person, and let’s see what this is all about this time. Zeke: And then the counter to that, the joke is Terry’s ability to evaluate things at 25 obviously wasn’t very good. Terry: I was playing the long game. Really? I was playing Gissele: the long game. so fast forward you, do you have children? Terry: We do. Our son is 24. He is doing a master’s degree at San Francisco State. Terry: He’s back living with us and our youngest is they them and they’re 21 wrapping up their college, their undergrad at University of Vermont in Burlington. Gissele: Beautiful. Beautiful. Okay. So you are married, are having relationships. Fast forward to the, when you start to have problems again. [00:04:00] Terry: I think, Terry: We’ve done a lot of work on ourselves and especially in the last four years, I guess it’s 20, 26, 5 years when we thought we were gonna get divorced. We came into the marriage at 26. We look at back at it just so young and so naive and with really the wrong expectations and assumptions about what a relationship is and what a marriage is. Terry: And Zeke was in a software sales or banking when we got married and later decided to become a police officer. And that ended up putting a significant amount of pressure on our relationship with the shift work. four days on, four days off, five days on, three days off, back to back fives called in for overtime, called in for court times. Terry: And, after the kids were born, I was essentially a single parent working full time. And I launched a consulting company, and so then I was managing a company as well, and that really, we did not know how to navigate that. what we later learned is I have [00:05:00] an anxious attachment style and he has an avoidant attachment style, so naturally going in different directions. Terry: He’s an only child. I’m an identical twin, so I used to doing everything together. I shared a womb with someone and Zeke: I didn’t share a room with anyone. Terry: exactly. So what we had was a solid foundation in that we grew up in the same place, knew a lot of the same people. But we did not know how to do the work. And so our relationship I think in our early forties was when it really started to, it really started to get, I wanna say bad logistically we’re really great with each other. Terry: But I think emotionally lovewise there was a lot of resentment there and there was like a huge chasm. And over the course of about 10 years, we would each show up. One of us would show up and say, okay, I think we’re done. And the other one would say, I’m not ready. And so we battled that for. seven to 10 years. Terry: Early in, like when I was about 43, I started [00:06:00] perimenopause and I didn’t really know it. So of course that also introduced a new set of challenges that I neither of us knew was really going on. Andour forties, it was it was very difficult, but then the pandemic hit when we were 50, and of course we came together in order to support the kids in order to be better citizens of the world. Terry: And logistically, I think we did really well. But, in January of 2021 both of us, it was like the first time we’d had like a text fight and I was in the bathtub and he came in and one of us was like, I think we’re done. And the other one was like, yeah, I think we’re done. it was a long time coming. Gissele: Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. It must have been really challenging. I just wanna go back just for a moment. When you talked about the avoidance style in the anxious style, can you tell the audience a little bit about what that looks like? Because some of them might not know they are an anxious style or avoidance style. Gissele: So what does an anxious style look like, and what does an [00:07:00] avoidance style look like? Terry: So for me, the anxious is I’m constantly looking for validation. am I loved, am I worthy? yeah. Does he love me? Does he not? And so when there’s any sort of friction or conflict, I’m like wanting closeness and validation. Terry: And for him, when there’s conflict and whatnot, then he pulls away. So then there’s this whole chasing kind of thing. So I want more. He runs away. That makes me feel more insecure. I go chasing after it. That makes him insecure and he wants to go into his cave. it’s this chasing kind of thing. Terry: And Zeke: it doesn’t work out well, Terry: not when you don’t have an awareness of it. I I’m trying to get better about it. He’s getting better about it. And I think also growing up so there were three of us kids in the family and there was a lot of dialogue and there was a lot of fighting. Terry: And I wouldn’t say it was good communication, I learned how to fight, not necessarily dirty, but I learned how to fight. Whereas he didn’t [00:08:00] practice that with with siblings. And so then also with that also complicates it in that he would need extra time to think about whatever was going on. Terry: And I’m like, engage, engage, engaged. And he’s like, whoa, I need some space. And I’m like, engage, engage, engaged. And that would just make me more anxious to not have the engagement. It would make him more uncomfortable when I’m coming at him. And so you, you have that complicating the anxious avoidance clash as it were. Gissele: Yeah. if you’re anxious which I used to be. Whenever you have the withdrawal the avoidance, it’s interpreted as there’s a withdrawal of love. I’m not lovable. Mm-hmm. I’m not worthy. but really it has nothing to do with that. Gissele: It has to do how the other person’s ability to cope and need to regroup. Right. And so for me having to shift that I had to really be aware of how little I was there for myself and how little I love for myself that I could, [00:09:00] I had to realize that I could tap in instead of going outward. I could tap inward and be able to give that to myself. Gissele: And sometimes it’s so funny, is a weird dance because I’ve seen situations where I would have the opposite effect. I would be more avoidant if the person was different. if their energy was more anxious, I would be more avoidant and then they would gravitate. Terry: Yeah, it’s an interesting dance and one of the things that I’ve tried to be better about is to express my insecurity to Zeke and just say, look, right now I need a little bit more, I need some validation right now. ’cause I’m, I also have ADHD. So then you’ve also got that tied into it. Terry: And so if I communicate to him, look, I need a little bit more. I need some I need to know that I’m loved right now, I’m feeling in a sensitive and vulnerable space. And then having that specific request, then, if he’s able to at that moment and we’re not talking like in a fight, we’re just talking in life in general, then he’s able to step in I think a little bit more easily to respond [00:10:00] to that request. Terry: And then I’ve asked him, it’s okay. If you’re gonna go avoid me, can you just say, look, I just need some time. I wanna deal with this. I need some time. And that’s also super hard for him to do because in those moments when he pulls away, he shuts down. And so to have the wherewithal to go, look, I need a minute. Terry: I’ll come back, I will come back. Gissele: it’s the understanding that it’s not about you like that, it’s not about either of you. It’s that it’s about the person’s ability to cope in that moment and how they cope or how they’ve learned to cope based on their own childhood environments. Gissele: And so really when you have an understanding of each other’s childhoods and when you have an understanding of what each of the you need in the moment I think it’s really helpful for relationships. Yeah. Terry: We’re still practicing that by the way. We do not have Gissele: that dial. Gissele: Yeah, of course. And you know what? Relationships are an ongoing, there’s peaks and valleys, there’s highs and lows, and I love that you said that, at one moment you both had to be [00:11:00] wanting out. ’cause as long as one of you wanted to stay in, that’s usually how people stay in a relationship. Gissele: Right. But when you get to the point where you both want out, I think that’s where you, start to decide we have to really look at this and either decide to go in and out. So what happened after you both decided that it was like, that it wasn’t working and that you needed to maybe move forward differently? Terry: So it happened on a Sunday morning and the both of the kids were home. Our youngest was still in high school and our oldest was home for winter break. And we both decided, okay, we’re gonna communicate to the kids that this is what’s going on. So at dinner that night, we told the kids, and the kids were like, it’s about time. Terry: kids totally know when there’s friction. They know and they’re just like, yeah, it’s about time. And we did not model, I think healthy partner relationship for our kids. We’re still trying to fix that. We still apologize for that too. Our kids. And the timeline on this is going to seem really fast, but I process things really fast [00:12:00] and I’m a silver lining kind of gal and I can usually get over things within 24, 48 hours because it was the middle of the pandemic we’re in the San Francisco Bay area. Terry: We were still in lockdown. And, our son was going back to school, we had an extra bedroom. So Zeke moved into our son’s bedroom. But, oh, we decided we were gonna work through this together. we are friends first. We have known each other for so long, and we’re also very committed to our kids and providing a solid foundation for our kids. Terry: So he moved into the bedroom, and so the next day, he was in the bedroom doing his work. I was in the office doing my work and and our youngest was doing remote school. And I would come out and I would just start sobbing. and we would be talking through what is this gonna look like? Terry: He did look at apartments. But we also decided every night we would cook together, we would have dinner together. And while we hadn’t really watched TV together before each night, we were trying to do that to demonstrate to our youngest that we were still a united front for them. [00:13:00] And so Monday rolls around. Terry: I was devastated. I really thought my whole world had fallen apart because what I thought my future was going to be had collapsed. I thought we were going to be partners forever, the kids were getting older and it was supposed to be just us again. And so Tuesday rolls around and I am still devastated. Terry: Wednesday rolls around, I am still devastated. And I remember asking Zeke, I’m like, how can you not be devastated by this? And he said, you always move through things much more quickly than I do. This is gonna hit me later. We researched over the course of that week, we researched buying a house in the same street so we could still be near each other, still support each other. Terry: We we talked about what it was gonna look like and Thursday, Friday rolls around and I just looked at him. I’m like, I periodically I’d go in, I’d sob, he told me. And I would just say it was like, who’s gonna be my emergency contact? And he said, I will always be your emergency contact. Terry: And it was at that moment that I think [00:14:00] that was the, I know that seems silly, but that was like the last thing that I needed to go. It’s gonna be okay. So I did some research on dating and how to move forward, past divorce, we were never actually gonna get fully divorced because our financial situation is so complicated. Terry: So we would leave very separate lives, but the legal part of it would, we weren’t gonna make happen, and neither of us ever wanted to get married again. So it was like, okay, we’re not gonna deal with the legal side of it, but what logistically does this look like? And then Saturday morning I went to go play tennis. Terry: the weather was absolutely fantastic. I had some great tunes in the car and I just felt myself opening up. It was like I was blooming. It was like the color was coming back as if I’d been living in gray for a decade. And I thought, if I’m gonna get out there and dates, I need to get back into shape and I want to become again, the sexual being that I used to be. Terry: And like, how am I gonna do that? I’m like, I wanna play, I wanna experiment. I wanna come get back in touch with [00:15:00] myself. So I did a little research about that and realized that it’s not uncommon for couples going through separation to continue to have sex. And I’m like, during a pandemic, okay, fine. So after dinner, we’re sitting on the couch and I just said, Hey, what would you think about having sex? Terry: He’s is that the right thing to do? And I said, well, why not? I said, I trust you. I wanna experiment and explore with stuff. Why don’t we give it a try after this? I’m gonna go take a bath. I’m gonna crawl into bed naked, join me. So he is like, he’s not sure about that. Anyway, he comes in and I’m in bed and he goes, you sure? Terry: And I said, absolutely. And what that. Opened up is we had closed the door in our relationship. We had closed the door on who we were as a couple, and we got to embark on who we were individually doing the work that we had not done at the age of 25 and 26 and throughout our lives. And so like every night for a couple of months, we explored, I call it sex [00:16:00] exploration. Terry: We played, we were vulnerable with each other. We laughed. it was a lot of fun. We both went to therapy and over a period of time we decided to start dating and we accidentally rebooted our relationship, Zeke: kind of because we actually developed a new relationship. Yeah. We didn’t reboot the old one. Zeke: We’re still the same people in the relationship, but we developed and. Created a whole new relationship. Mm-hmm. Because all of that explorations, exploration stuff that she’s talking about didn’t happen in the last 25 years. So that was new and allowed us to, allowed her to try things and allowed me to I don’t know if I would’ve been hesitant to trying things, but that wasn’t part of the relationship previous. Zeke: So with all of that new, in this new entity, if you will then that sort of started off and created a whole different vibe for the relationship. Terry: Mm-hmm. With [00:17:00] vulnerability communication, trust that we hadn’t had before. Lack of resentment you going to therapy and committing to yourself to doing the therapy. Terry: It was a amazing signal. ’cause we’d done therapy before and individual therapy and. Just hadn’t seen the level of commitment that I saw after after we decided to separate. Gissele: So, Zeke, at any point, ’cause I have to ask, at any point when Terry suggested about you being intimate, did you go, wait a minute, Gissele: is this the path to us getting back together? Zeke: That’s a great question. I, I, initially, I was like, I don’t think this is a good idea. What, where is this coming from? And so she talked about it a little bit. And again, it was January of 2021. Terry: Mm-hmm. Zeke: I was not gonna go jump on an app and go try, that Terry: you didn’t download, you didn’t download Tinder? Zeke: No. That was not in the middle of a pandemic, a good idea in my [00:18:00] book. And I was like okay. So. Going back a step or two being her emergency contact, we’re still parents to two kids. We have to support them in, especially in this world and their world at this point in time. It was not 1992 when I got out of college and I could survive on a $10 an hour job in Sacramento and tell my parents I, they had no financial responsibilities anymore. Zeke: So I knew that we were going to be working together to support the kids as well as everything else for quite some time. So the relationship, it’s not like I was gonna pack a bag and walk out the door, and that was gonna be the end of that. the sex part of it was in the cocktail of what it was like to live in 2021. Gissele: Yeah. Zeke: And there was a freedom to it as well of, no, as much as, as it could be for that element of it, no strings attached. And that wasn’t there for the last 25, 30 years. And so it [00:19:00] seemed like there was a question mark to it, but not a lot of particular downside. Zeke: I’ve talked about this before. I do equate it to the one time someone approached me for a job and I went into the job and I said, well, this is how I’m gonna do the job. And if you don’t want me to do the job this way, and you’re not open to me trying some new things, then I’m gonna leave because you asked me to do the job. Zeke: I’m not looking for the job. I don’t need the job. Right. So not that having sex with you was a job. Gissele: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Gissele: just being, you’re putting some boundaries right? Zeke: is, yeah. Was just like, okay, so we’re gonna do this and you need to be open and I’m gonna be open to doing it differently. Zeke: And I’m not gonna go do it anywhere else because it’s in the middle of a pandemic. Yeah. Gissele: Yeah. Terry: Yeah. So when I made the suggestion, never did I even consider that it was going to be a path to reconciliation. I really both of us had just had completely shut the door and was like, okay, we’re setting ourselves up for what we want, who we wanna be for the next half of our lives. Terry: Because at that point, he had turned for 51, I was about to turn 51. And if we [00:20:00] assume we’re gonna live to be a hundred, it’s like, okay, we wanna be happy, we wanna be content, we wanna be satisfied, and we wanna operate in the world in a way that is healthier than what we’ve done up until this point. Gissele: So I wanna go back to what you said. Gissele: ’cause you said that your children said, well, it’s about time. So you basically had their support. What was their reaction to you rebooting your relationship? Terry: Well, as long as we don’t talk about how we rebooted our relationship through sex, they’re totally fine. I don’t really remember what they’re, Terry: Adam was so caught up in his college life that he was checked out, he’s like, whatever. He had issues of his own to deal with and our youngest was just trying to get through day to day of virtual school during the pandemic. So Terry: They were 16 going on 17, but they’re wrapped up in their own lives. So I don’t recall them having any sort of either kid having any sort of thoughts or comments [00:21:00] about it. It would be really interesting right now to have a conversation with ’em and just say, Hey, let’s reflect on that and tell us what we were, you were feeling, thinking or paying attention to. Terry: And I’m sure Adam would say, I had no idea. I was too busy with my own stuff. And our youngest I’m sure they’ve talked about it, therapy with their therapist. Zeke: thinking back that it was such a slow kind of turn of the Titanic at that point in time, that there wasn’t a day in which it was like, ta-da, right? Zeke: As well as we are investing in this new relationship in a different way. we were concerned about the kids, but at finally, I think they weren’t the center of our universe at that point in time. The center of the universe for us had changed, and so we were less concerned about them. Zeke: And for all those reasons Terry just talked about. And so. They might have been going, wait, why is everything not pointing at me? Terry: Well, no, but our youngest was actually afraid when our oldest went off to college that everything was gonna point at them. [00:22:00] So I am pretty sure that, ’cause we would have dinner together every night, and Zeke and I would be on two ends. Terry: They would be across, the two kids would be across from each other. And I remember our youngest expressing concern about when Adam was gone be like, oh my gosh, now all of the attention’s gonna be directed on me. So I’m sure that they were probably relieved that we had a different focus and it wasn’t all on them so that they could do their own thing. Terry: that would be my guess. But we’ll have to text them later and see if they respond. Gissele: Yeah. So thank you for that. Do you think that your relationship blossom or changed because you each were willing to change Terry: Oh yeah, Gissele: yeah, Terry: yeah. I mean, there’s no way this would’ve worked if we showed up exactly the same way. Gissele: Well, I think often people, want their partner to change. They’re like, I’m gonna be happy if so and so changes. But I think what you’re saying, or at least what I’m hearing from you is that each of you committed to changing and to doing something different and to showing up more vulnerability, more authentically.[00:23:00] Gissele: Whether that meant, that it wasn’t gonna work together, but the surprising thing was that it actually brought you back together. is that accurate? Terry: Oh yeah, I mean it would not have worked if we hadn’t done the work, but the fact that we were committed to doing the work for ourselves, I think was really important. Terry: we had all sorts of fights and discussions over the years where I’m like, you need to do this. You need to do, this is what I need from you. And then of course, the disappointment and the resentment when I didn’t feel like there was a commitment to me and what I didn’t feel heard. Terry: I didn’t feel seen in terms of what I said I needed in the relationship. And I have worked with an executive coach, I’ve worked with therapist. I’m constantly, every day trying to work on something as we Gen X women in a patriarchal society have been conditioned to do that. There’s always something wrong with us. Terry: And, we’re always trying to find the constant improvement. And so yeah, there was no expectation I no longer had any sort of demands on him changing because it was like, you do, you, as long as we can show up for the [00:24:00] kids the right way, as long as we can show up as friends the right way, build healthier communication paths, then you know, that middle piece, that Centrif Venn diagram, our lives were our own except for those central pieces where we needed the touch points. Gissele: What about Zeke? Zeke: Yeah, it, again, because it became this different entity and I had a different way to approach it and I don’t know if the word reinvention allowed me to sort of take on this different, approach to it and let go of what had happened and have a different approach going forward. Zeke: So that was, that’s the gist of my navigations through that. Terry: Well, let me ask you this question through our entire relationship, I was, would be like, I need you to do this. I, this is what I need. I don’t think, I don’t remember you placing similar demands or asking me similar things. Zeke: No, no. Gissele: So, you found your way back [00:25:00] to each other. So what’s currently working for your relationship? How have you changed and grown and expanded that enables you to continue to have a committed, loving relationship? Terry: As we said, we’re continuing to work on this on a regular basis. Gissele: Yeah, of course. That’s just, that’s life. Terry: Yeah. So what, works? We have instituted a number of things that I think are. Are helpful. We’re not always great with ’em, but as you know, every morning we decide to commit to the relationship. Terry: And one way that Zeke shows me is he gives me a kiss in the morning and says, I love you, and then I’m just there. No, I’m just kidding. I’d read this book called The New I Do. While we were trying to, before we decided to, to call off our original relationship and learned about, there are seven or eight different types of marriages that you can go into and you can get into it for, the kids for money, for companionship, for sex. Terry: there are these [00:26:00] various different things and there can be time limits on these things, first of all you establish what you both expect out of the relationship or the marriage. And then you kind of put a plan together and then you have periodic check-ins. Terry: And so it could be annual check-ins to make sure, are we still on the same page? Are we moving in the right direction? But I like the idea of. The daily commitment to the relationship that at any point we can choose to get out, that one of us could say, you know what, this really isn’t working for me and I don’t wanna be here anymore. Terry: So there’s a lot of freedom in that. And you’d think that for somebody with an anxious attachment style, that there would be a lot of uncertainty in that, but there really isn’t. So the daily commitment, we also implemented and we were really good about it for the first couple of years and now we do it every three or four weeks. Terry: It was a weekly check-in and there are like five or six questions that we do in order to make sure that chasm that developed during our pre previous relationship didn’t develop into the future. [00:27:00] And we always started by being super close together and saying. Is there anything I can do to make you feel more loved and more comfortable right now? Terry: And I think this is stuff I found. It’s probably Gottman Institute stuff. I mean, there’s nothing magical here. it’s not innovative on my part other than we decided to implement this. And then it was like, is there anything that I’ve done to inadvertently hurt you over the last week? and then so if there is something that we have not addressed over the previous week, that is the opportunity to talk about it in a very close, loving, intimate setting. Terry: in a safe space. It doesn’t end up being like a big argument. I think we’ve only ended up in an argument after that, like twice out in the last five years. And then it was like, how’s our sex life been? And that’s usually an easy one to answer which is usually really great. And then we ask, Terry: what’s coming up next week? Is there anything stressful? And is there anything that I can do to make it a little bit easier for you? And that gives us an opportunity to talk about what’s coming up so we can talk about what’s happened. We [00:28:00] can talk about what’s coming up that keeps us connected through the communication. Terry: And then like two years ago I added is there anything I did to make you feel loved this week? And so then we can tap into it. we either end on the sex question or we end on the, is there anything that makes you feel loved? ’cause I like us ending on a high. so that’s been a really helpful tool to help us stay connected. Terry: So I hope that answered your question in terms of some of the things that we’ve done. We try not to let things fester the way that we used to. But we launched a new business, Zeke andTerry Adventures two years ago. And I’m super, as you can tell, I’m super outgoing. Terry: I’m super chatty. He’s more of an introvert. And more I would like to say thoughtful about the things. And that has been really great for our relationship because we are doing all sorts of new things together and at the same time. It’s also really challenging because we have not had the results that we wanted, and [00:29:00] we both have our insecurities about what it is that we’re doing in the business. Terry: And so that is creating actually the biggest conflict for us, and it’s also creating the biggest opportunity for us to have good communication and work together through the various different challenges I get to show up and be very compassionate to him about his insecurities around it, which I think really makes this beautiful broth of a relationship, Gissele: There’s a few things I wanted to pick up on and then I’d love to talk about the travel. the first thing I wanted to mention is that I wholeheartedly agree with you is that I think we have this expectation or this belief that, ideal relationships don’t have conflict, but it is how you manage the conflict that helps you actually come closer together, that helps you overcome things together. Gissele: The second thing really is about the fact that, I find it interesting that you talked about this is an ongoing commitment, but we also [00:30:00] know that at any point we could just say, I can’t make this commitment. Gissele: And that is so refreshing. And the reason why I say that is because, The institution of marriage is one where we have been taught that a decision you made when you were younger, let’s say you were in your twenties when you get married, You are always gonna feel the exact same way from here into infinity, and that’s doesn’t make any sense because we grow, we change. Gissele: Sometimes we grow at the same rate. Sometimes we don’t grow at the same rate. And so how do we think about relationships in a way that no matter how long they last, it’s not a failure, right? Mm-hmm. everything that you go through, is still a learning opportunity, still an opportunity to love. Gissele: It’s still an opportunity to learn about ourselves without having that extra judgment of, well, if this isn’t forever, then It didn’t work, and then I’m a failure, or that you have to push yourself to stay in something that maybe you’ve outgrown. Gissele: And so I think those are two very important points that you are making. and I think because the institution of marriage is different, right? [00:31:00] before it was really, for women it was a security, right? Because when you had the children, the men could go and sow their seeds anywhere and then, like you had the kid. Gissele: And so the institution of marriage became one where there was so security, right? But I think, relationships are morphing and changing and women have the ability to make their own money, their own businesses. And so the need for that kind of like security and stability, maybe not necessarily be there. Terry: Oh yeah, absolutely. And we’re seeing it in these next generations. Who are these these women in their twenties and their thirties who are like, I’m not settling. I can have my own money. I can have my own house. I have my friends. Terry: I can make my own choices. I can choose to have kids if I want to or choose not to have kids. And so this whole, you’re gonna die an old cat lady. I’m like, how many cats do I get to have, in my own space? so we’re seeing in society a time when the men are actually having to step up from an emotional perspective and doing the work, whereas before they’re like, I’m bringing on the paycheck. Terry: [00:32:00] You can’t get a credit card. You can’t get a loan to buy a house. You get pregnant, you get kicked outta secretarial school. So you know, you’re stuck with me. And now women just have so many more options available to them, and I think it really is. a huge opportunity for a society in general for heterosexual men especially, to have to step up in a way that women have had to step up and endure for centuries. Zeke: Well, at the same time, it opens another set of doors for men because Gissele: Yeah, Zeke: we were on the early side of this and we didn’t do it exactly right. I didn’t do it exactly right, but when the kids were three and six years old, I stopped being a police officer and became a stay at home dad. because Terry was making way more money than I was making, even as an overtime police officer, which was a very generous pay package, mm-hmm. Zeke: And so we flipped roles and I think the upside of that is that we showed our kids that that could happen. Didn’t exactly show them [00:33:00] the best way for it to happen, but that it was a possibility because up until then. I’d worked since I was like 17 years old. up until 38 years old. Zeke: And then it was like, wait, this doesn’t make sense. Financially, I’m spending half of my paycheck on childcare. Gissele: Yeah. Zeke: And I’m still getting in the way of Terry making more money. This doesn’t make any Terry: sense. Oh. When our relationship was terrible and our kids, we were eating out way too many days a week. Terry: Yeah. It was not the lifestyle that we were looking for because when we decided to get married, the agreement was he was gonna stay home with the kids. We knew from the get go that going into it was gonna be flipped, but then he became a police officer really liked the work, and then it was like, wait, this is not working. Zeke: I liked, I liked the work. I didn’t like the schedule Gissele: Yeah. Fair enough. I wanna talk about, just since you’ve mentioned it a couple of times, like self-forgiveness. And the reason why I bring that up is like there has to be an element of self-forgiveness because we make mistakes as parents in our relationship, in the modeling things that we do to our kids. Gissele: And I [00:34:00] remember talking to my kids when they were very young and telling them, I’m gonna make mistakes. Mommy doesn’t always know what she’s doing. there’s no kid manual and I’m gonna be apologetic and I’m gonna be honest and sometimes I’m gonna make mistakes. Gissele: we don’t always get it right. We’re human beings here. Right? And so there’s gotta be a level of self-forgiveness because of the mistakes you made. Terry: Yeah. So we would joke when the kids were younger that we were putting money away for their therapy, that we knew that we were going to be contributing to some sort of their, negative side of their emotional and psychological well-being. Terry: I’m not sure that was the right way to handle it. I wish that we’d had the wherewithal to say, look, we’re human. We’re gonna do the best that we can with what we have at the time. And I hope that if we make mistakes that there will be some forgiveness there. We just did not have that level of awareness going in. Terry: What we’ve done over the last, five years with the kids is just apologize for not modeling the right relationship. And, both the kids are in therapy. There our youngest has [00:35:00] been in, since high school and then our oldest did in high school and then has been for the last year. Terry: we believe in getting professional help. And there are times . We’re like, oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. We didn’t model this better for you. And they’ll say, yeah, why are you doing it now? You’re doing great. Now. You could have done this. And I’m like, we were just not in a place to do this. Terry: Mm-hmm. So at least now we’re able to model, and I was called out on this whole self forgiveness thing a couple weeks ago. you’re owning too much of this and you need to forgive yourself for it. I was like, I think I’m, I think I’m exaggerating a little bit just for the joke, for the bit. Terry: And I’m super proud of ourselves for modeling better stuff and being able to say, look, we know we didn’t do that right, but here’s what we’re doing now and we hope that you can learn from what we’re doing now that it is not too late. What was also helpful is sometime in the last five years, we saw the statistic that parents are only like 20 to 30% responsible for how [00:36:00] the kids turn out in their emotional wellbeing and et cetera. Terry: And I have to. Remind Myself of that regularly to say you’re not a hundred percent responsible for how screwed up your kids are. You’re only 25% responsible. And it’s like, oh, it takes the pressure off to say for me, once again, having in a patriarchal society as a Gen X woman, I was supposed to have it all be it all be perfect in every aspect of my life. Terry: And this is one place where I feel like I failed. And being able to go, I did the best that I could with what I had. It’s not an excuse, but it’s an opportunity to recognize, forgive, and go I want to do better. And look for ways for better communication, for better modeling. I started back up with my therapist on Monday, ’cause I don’t think right now I’m managing my kid, my relationship with my kids. Terry: As best I can right now in setting boundaries and communication, et cetera. So I think modeling that now, I’m hoping that they will pick up on [00:37:00] that. Because We talk about all this kind of stuff. What is really interesting is what we expect from our parents. A month ago I had a partial knee replacement and our son, who’s living at home could not see me in pain, could not see me out for the count. Terry: And I was in a lot of pain ’cause I can’t take narcotics ’cause I, my body just can’t handle him. And I was in a lot of pain. I’m also a very active person. And last night he said his friends were over and they’d had a few too many beers. And he goes, yeah, it’s really hard. He’s like, you’re the soccer player, you’re the tennis player, you’re the runner, you’re the one with the business. Terry: You fly helicopters, you do all this stuff and you’re not doing that right now. And I was like, it’s just a pause honey. It’s just a pause. I am still that person. But it’s interesting how our kids see us, whether it’s us individually or as a couple And now I know exactly what his issue is, and now I can be there to help him, work through that in order to set him better for the [00:38:00] future. Terry: But it’s, it’s absolutely fascinating. Gissele: Hmm. Yeah. I love that you said that because it is so true we’re human beings. We evolve, we change. I was not aware of how much anxiety I had when my kids were very little. Oh. And how much I modeled that for them, and as I grew and expanded and, found my way through mindfulness and compassion and all of these things, how much I had to forgive myself. Gissele: And also how sometimes the people in our lives wanna hold onto those old identities because that gives them a sense of consistency and safety. But as you evolve. They have to evolve too. And their vision of you has to evolve. And so sometimes that can be a little bit challenging for them. Gissele: But kudos to you for helping them navigate through that journey. ’cause it’s, life is all about growth. Yeah. We probably screw Terry: up on that too, but that’s okay. Gissele: Yeah. You know what the truth of the matter is? I feel like everything is a gift and a journey and it’s an experience. Gissele: And, I feel like the kids are gonna be all right. And [00:39:00] that’s one thing I hold onto, no matter what’s happening, and sometimes, things happen, right? my kids are always all right. they’re more resilient than I believe. Gissele: they’re good. They’re great. I wanted to go back to a comment you had made about the financial, because financial issues tend to be the things that probably places a wedge the most on relationships. And you seem to have navigated that before with the policing, right? what’s helping you navigate some of those waters currently as you’re growing your business? Terry: Well, we are very privileged in that. we’re financially comfortable. I we’re not off the chart rich or whatever, especially living here in the San Francisco Bay area. But we are comfortable. my consulting was lucrative. my parents did well on, an investment, so they have provided us with some extra cushion as well. Terry: I would never say that I am, super comfortable to the point where I would never worry about it. I think there’s gonna be a certain [00:40:00] amount of concern, especially with the instability of what’s going on in the world right now. It’s like, how comfortable can you actually be? Terry: So just when I think is, I look at the numbers and I do our monthly financial former accountants, so I do our monthly financials and We should be okay, but if we live another 50 years, are we going to have enough? And are we going to have enough to continue to provide some level of financial support for the kids? Terry: Because our oldest has expressed an interest in getting a PhD in philosophy and teaching at the collegiate level where we know he is not going to make a lot of money. We are willing to provide him with some level of financial support. Knowing that education is a very important issue for us and our society in, the United States doesn’t value education, doesn’t really pay teachers very well. Terry: And so we see that as part of our financial contribution in providing him with some support so that he can be the best possible teacher he can. Our youngest is still trying to figure out what they’re going to do next, but we imagine it is going to be in service to something and will probably [00:41:00] not make a lot of money and will probably be in an area that is also in alignment with our values. Terry: We need to provide them with some sort of financial support not live high on the hog, but to do Okay. we are in a decent position to do that. When we did launch the business last year. I did some projections to make, to see how long we could do it for comfortably before I would have to go back into consulting. Terry: horrors of horrors. But always thinking about what the back plan is gonna be. So we’ve made it so that I understand what our runway is on that, so we’re gonna give it one more year. And if we’re not seeing what we want from it, then may have to return to something that is actually generating revenue Right now. Terry: it’s just output. But, our company is a startup and I have been an angel investor for the last 10 years. I understand what it’s like to be a startup. Having my own consulting company, I know what it means to run. Business. I know what this all looks like. And I am not a huge risk taker, but I am a calculated risk [00:42:00] taker. Terry: Zeke he doesn’t pay as much attention to the financial stuff. We should get back to reviewing it on a monthly basis so that it’s a shared responsibility. ’cause right now it’s all on me. And he’ll say, Hey, can we pay that off? What can we do to streamline this to make it easier so that you’re doing less and we can worry about these other things more? Terry: And so he helps with that. But we are incredibly fortunate that we have a bit of time to be experimenting with what it is that we’re experimenting with. Zeke: And what got me convinced on this venture was I enjoy getting out and it. Zeke and Terry Adventures is the name of the YouTube channel. Zeke: And the word adventure in there plays a key role in my mental approach to it. Because adventure is whatever you can make it. and we’ve heard of people and know people who have never left California, they’ve never left the Bay Area, they’ve never seen snow, Whereas I’m like, I’ve never been to South Korea, so that’s on my list of things. So adventure is whatever [00:43:00] you can make it. So if we can inspire people to do that, and at the same time, I can go do things that I might not be able to do when I’m 65, when I traditionally retire from whatever day job. Zeke: And so if we can make a go at this point in time then I get to do some things that I won’t be able to do later on. And that’s what we’re also trying to communicate to folks through the channel. Is to live life while you can. I’ve been very fortunate in the last five or six years to do about 10 or so two week bike tours with some friends. Zeke: And so we’ve ridden bikes from a lot of different places to other places and had a great time. And we come back from these things and we meet places and talked to people about our trips and we can guarantee somebody’s gonna say oh, I wanna do that someday. And we always tell them, there is no someday. Zeke: There’s only today. You’ve gotta do it. Now if you say I’m gonna do it someday, you just keep pushing it off. You’ve gotta do it now. So that’s why Part of my mind is like, this is crazy. What are you doing financially? [00:44:00] This is a startup and I’m not a startup guy. Terry’s the startup person. Yeah. Zeke: And but the other half of my brain is do it while you can, because at some point in time you’re not gonna have a choice. You’re not gonna have an option. Terry: Yeah. And I just wanna expand on something about the adventure because not everybody has the financial means to do it. And not everybody’s as comfortable with adventure, like his cycling trips, I have zero interest in his cycling trips. Terry: But so what is adventurous for me and pulls me outside of my comfort zone, and that’s the thing, our tagline is we wanna inspire Midlifers, mostly Gen Xers, but people over the age of 50 to get out, get uncomfortable and go adventure It could be taking a bus to go do a hike someplace, so maybe the bus is a couple bucks. Terry: You can go do a hike, which should be free. hopefully you have some comfortable shoes. You can bring a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and you just add some water, don’t forget the water. And you go and you see something from a different angle. You push yourself beyond your normal [00:45:00] comfort zone. Terry: When I worked for my dad’s accounting firm back when I was younger we would always have this conversation ’cause I was very black and white. we would look at the tax law and it would be like, it would be this or it’d be this. And my dad’s no, there’s black and there’s white, and there’s the gray area in between. Terry: And that gray area is our play area. I’m not saying it was, bad or fraudulent, but he always wanted to stretch me like a rubber band. And I always, every time you do something that’s outside your comfort zone, you stretch that rubber band, you stretch that rubber band and that rubber band, once stretched, never goes back to the same place. Terry: And so for on this last trip, we both flew into Munich, and then I took a train to Strausberg because I am absolutely determined to see all the France, and I’m determined to speak French fluently one day in my life. And so he cycled with his friends from Munich to Venice, and they did it. They do it on the cheap. Terry: I they camp, they do warm shower places. They share, four stinky men in a room kind of situation. And I had [00:46:00] this little air and B right on the river Ill in Strasburg, and I spent two weeks by myself in Strasburg, working on my French, working on some other content. And, but that being solo and doing that, oh, and I got to go to all the museums I wanted and the cathedral and I got to do all the cultural stuff that I love to do while he was outside doing his outdoorsy stuff. Terry: I play tennis, I don’t cycle. And me being alone as an identical twin, as somebody who likes to have somebody around that is uncomfortable for me. and Zeke was like, ah, that would be super uncomfortable for me and I would absolutely hate it. And, but with that. it expanded who I was. Terry: And granted, that is a more expensive option. But we live in the Bay Area and there are all sorts of places to go hike. I don’t love to hike, but sometimes our youngest will drag me out and is oh wow, maybe this isn’t so bad. Look at how beautiful this is. I’m bitching and complaining all the way up, all the way up the hill. Terry: or when we go and we [00:47:00] do saunas and places, and they go, ’cause there’s a new one up in San Francisco. this isn’t necessarily uncomfortable, but really what a great experience. Gissele: Hmm, I love it. First of all, I think your dad was a great teacher in terms of the willingness to see, okay, there’s black and white, but there’s always a middle way to do things. Gissele: There’s always possibilities. I think when you’re inviting the listeners to consider is different ways of aging, because I think the more you get active and get adventure or get beyond your limitations, the more likely that you’re going to be aging. Very well at the end, for this podcast, I interviewed a 75-year-old lady who is, she started when she was 65, I believe. Gissele: She’s like the 15th time world champion pole dancing. She still does it like she’s, she’s 75. She’s still like the world leader and so can we reimagine how we age? because what I noticed in aging is there’s a constriction more and more, and more and more people are less likely to go out. Gissele: They’re less likely to [00:48:00] socialize, and so there’s an outward constriction, whereas your business is enabling people to go, okay, can we go outward instead, can we. Reimagine aging. Can we reimagine mobility? Can we reimagine adventure? Adventure doesn’t mean I have to go to the south of France Gissele: Can I even just say, that I’m willing to try that makes me out of my comfort zone? It doesn’t necessarily mean having to go outside. It could be just, public speaking. it could be anything that helps me shift and open up to life. And there might be a lot of opportunity around with organizations that are helping people become more mobile. Gissele: Because I think your organization it’s not just the traveling, it’s really is opening up people beyond their limitations and especially around aging. Can we really reimagine ourselves? Yeah, go ahead. Terry: Yeah. So in 2019 I wrote a book called Piloting Your Life to Inspire Women over the Age of 40 to design and live lives of our own Creation. Terry: And and the reason why it’s piloting your life is [00:49:00] as a woman in male dominated spaces, especially in, like investing in stuff. I am a commercially rated helicopter pilot, so I have my brand around, yeah, I fly helicopters for fun, really. I have my branding around aviation and so I had a podcast for a couple years called Piloting Your Life that ultimately focused on women. Terry: And then I wrote this book because I realized there wasn’t the what to expect when you turned 40. Book for women. We’re seeing more conversations about perimenopause and menopause and what happens to our brains and our bodies. It’s more than just hot flashes. And it was like I wanted to better understand that. Terry: So I love that you tapped into the redefining what aging means, and I think Gen X especially has an opportunity to really model moving forward. what aging means. And we do not have available to us, at least in the United States the same, you work at the same place for your entire life. Terry: You have a [00:50:00] pension and then you’re set up for the future. A lot of us are not going to be retiring at 65. A lot of us are not going to have grandkids. we’re not necessarily gonna have the retirement and aging lives that have been modeled before us. Terry: And so I do see that as a huge opportunity for us to redefine what aging means, focusing on what good health means. And good health is focused on not just, your fitness or your weight, but it’s brain health, it’s mobility, it’s flexibility, and it’s friendships. Terry: I interviewed 36 diverse women from around the world, from my book. So I can share their stories. ’cause a lot of us need to see it to be it. And it’s maybe they didn’t like my story, but they might like my friend Carle’s story or, somebody else’s story. And in the research, in order to really set ourselves up well for the next phase of our lives is we need a little bit of activity, exercise. Terry: We need deep and meaningful relationships or friendships and we need meaning or [00:51:00] purpose. And in doing further research on purpose, not having a big p purpose, but a little p purpose is important. ’cause all of those things build up. So I’m doing this drawing challenge right now so that I can start Painting Again, which I haven’t done since high school. And so every day for 10 minutes I’m drawing. And it’s so fun to do something new and know that I can completely fail at it. No one’s gonna judge me. I am pushing it out on Instagram so that I can inspire other people to be silly and whimsical as well. Terry: But I think, my focus is on women. if we decide to be selfish for once, put ourselves first focus on how we want to be in the world, do the work make the decisions on what we want, we can model it better, not only for the women coming up behind us, but also for the men in the world. Terry: And then our society in general becomes a better thing. and so like Zeke going out and doing his cycling stuff, he’s the young one in the group. Just by a a year or [00:52:00] two. But getting out there and doing. a 400 or a 700 mile cycling. And we’re talking pedaling just like, doing it on the cheap, Terry: that is just so funny. it’s not always just the physical, it’s the mental. And that’s the other thing with it, with this new business, every single day we are learning something new. We are throwing so much pasta on the wall and so much of it is not sticking in terms of what we’re trying and experimenting with. Terry: It’s it is very frustrating sometimes, but it’s also so good for our brains. Terry: it’s so exciting to be 55 almost 56. And every day it’s like, What are we choosing today? Terry: So I paid $10 for the drawing thing for the month, so it wasn’t an expensive thing. But one of the coolest things was we’ve been to so many museums and one of my new favorite artists is Egon Shield. And yesterday the thing had to do with negative spaces I think it’s called Draw Together, and Wendy Mack is the gal leading it. Terry: And she showed Igon Shield’s work and I’m like, oh my God, I love Egon Shield. And [00:53:00] like a couple days before it was some sort of line drawing thing and it was s Tumbly. And I’m like, I saw Slys stuff in Munich. I got to see Egon Shields stuff in Vienna. And I know my privilege is showing right now. but I love seeing these things connect together. Terry: That something I learned in one place, I now seeing it in play in another, and then I get to do something with it. It is so fun. Gissele: Yeah, Zeke: at same time, just a quick reference of that although we are in the San Francisco Bay area, which is of course a world class leading art center, education center. Zeke: But we’ve been in enough places around the world where we’ll walk into some little museum or art installation or a church or whatever is in some little town. ’cause Terry wants to go to every single one of ’em. And we’ll find something there. It’s like, wait, we’ve seen that other places. So wherever you are at out there in the world you look around and you’ll find some things somewhere that can be just as interesting and or inspired by some of these things that you [00:54:00] find here. Zeke: And the nice thing about the little towns that have these is there’s, it’s probably free. And two they’re, you’re not gonna spend six hours stumbling around in the Louvre looking for something and with a crowd of millions. Zeke: which is my trigger point because I don’t have the patience to, to deal with crowds. Zeke: Yeah, Gissele: That’s fair. I think what you’re modeling for us is the potentials, right? we have so many limiting beliefs in our society, you’re too old to start, a business in the fifties or tool to go cycling a little cheap. like all of those things are just limiting beliefs in what you’re showing us as a world of potentials. Gissele: A couple more questions. what’s your definition of self-love? Terry: You go first Zeke: definition of self-love. Yeah. I’m Gissele: asking everyone to season that question. Zeke: Sure. That’s a good question. Good Terry: answer ’cause I’ve got one now. Zeke: Go ahead. Terry: Okay. I think self-love right now as a 55-year-old woman, gen X conditioned in a patriarch [00:55:00] society is putting myself first without apology, showing up, being unapologetically me. Terry: I think that is the definition of self-love for me right now. Gissele: Beautiful. Zeke, I Zeke: would say, I’m not gonna articulate it. Don’t think. As well. it’s probably giving myself permission to either admit that I was wrong or admit that I hadn’t understood something. and maybe in this patriarchal society, part of that is that the man is always right and he’s always figured everything out and I haven’t and so trying to deprogram that and enter a new space of saying, yeah, I don’t, I didn’t do that right. Zeke: I don’t know what the answer to that is. And I’m sorry to anyone I’ve impacted with those previous decisions, and I’m sorry to myself and I’ve given myself permission to forgive myself for myself, either acting that way and having to change and needing to change and I should change, and I don’t [00:56:00] even exactly know what to change too. Speaker 3: Terry: So I love your question about self-love because it really got me thinking aboutwhat that means and showing up unapologetically me. ’cause I feel like I’ve been apologizing for who I am my entire life. And then also choosing myself first, which is such a struggle as a Gen X woman who’s been conditioned to put everybody else first. Terry: And there’s a line in my book. Which is be the first in the buffet line and take the last fucking cupcake because so many of us women. at least in the United States, my friends in France, they were not raised similarly, but we are told, let everybody else go first. And if there’s one last thing, don’t take it. Terry: And so I love this concept but I have to be very intentional and think about it. I love this concept of choose you first. Men have no problems choosing themselves first. And the thing that I have modeled so poorly for my kids is that. selflessness is important and always being in [00:57:00] service to somebody else is important and you put yourself last. Terry: And if I could turn back time and change one thing, I would change and show that I put myself first. More because I think it was so important for both boys and girls, men and women, to see that it is okay for women to show up unapologetically, put themselves first, being aware of the impact, but putting themselves first. Terry: So I loved that you forced me to think through, and I’m actually gonna put a reminder on my desk. It’s like practice acts of self-love every day so that it can become less. Of a practice and it can be part of who I am, so thank you for that. Gissele: Ah, thank you for that. ’cause I can totally appreciate that. Gissele: I grew up here in Canada, so not the states, but I felt the same way. There’s this messaging that a good mother puts themselves last. A good mother puts their kids first, eats last, like all of those things. And that’s not true because what it does is it leads to burnout. In fact, the less that I [00:58:00] loved myself and filled my cup, the more I gave from my reserves and the more I resented it, sometimes I was snappy my case. Terry: Yeah, and we go through perimenopause and that’s what we’re seeing is women just completely burned out going through perimenopause and the menopause transition, especially if you have a DHD and you’re just like, what the hell happened? And that’s why I see the, our forties is such an incredible opportunity to shift out of being in service to others because our bodies and our minds are saying. Terry: you’ve gotta focus inward. You’ve gotta focus less outward. And that’s what’s fun about the four. The forties suck, but the fifties, once you’ve done that work, the fifties are amazing. Speaker 3: great answers. Thank you to both of you. Last one is, where can people find you? Where can they work with you? Where can you find your book? Share anything you wanna share? Terry: So my book, piloting Your Life is. Available on Amazon. I’m sorry if you’re not, we don’t shop on Amazon, but it’s in audiobook. Terry: I narrated it. Ebook and paperback. You can [00:59:00] also order it through like bookshop.org. Request it through Libby, your library, so it’s pretty much everywhere. Or go to my website http://www.piloting your life.com. Zeke and Terry Adventures is available at http://www.zekeandterryadventures.com. You can find us as Zeke a

Episode 438, including tracks from Destination Nowhere, Tygers of Wrath, Drednoks, The Midlifers, GEBAWAAP, Neuallies, Nervous Eaters, Teenage Bottlerocket, Booze & Glory, Fervid, Montezuma's Revenge, Prospect Hill, and Sponge. Eric adds his upcoming releases, but is unable to make it this episode but this episode is loaded with a bunch of new music shared with us, a great album, and wrap up the show with an alternative, sludge metal, and nu metal tracks.

Midlifers are saying the quiet parts out loud—and we have stories that will make you laugh, cry, and feel like you've found your tribe. This week, writers, reinventors, and editors Dina Alvarez and Dina Aronson join host Katie Fogarty to explore their new essay collection "Midlife Private Parts"—a series of revealing essays that will change the way you think about age. Dina and Dina spent two years gathering 27 contributors (including many ACA podcast favorites like Dr. Mary Claire Haver, Sarah Milken, and Laura Belgray) to capture snapshots of midlife in all its magnificent, messy, comical glory. From hormone chaos to happiness breakthroughs, to sex and dating, recalibrating midlife friendships and marriages, to dabbling in cosmetic procedures, to the mixed bag of empty nesting, this collection serves up the midlife realness we all crave. We also explore what it took to bring this project to life, and why midlife is exactly the right time to become wildly visible, creative, and collaborative. Ready for a book that'll make you text your girlfriends immediately? Get "Midlife Private Parts" wherever books are sold. FOLLOW A CERTAIN AGE: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ GET INBOX INSPO: Sign up for our newsletter ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AGE BOLDLY⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ We share new episodes, giveaways, links we love, and midlife resources Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On Eavesdroppin' comedy podcast this week, it's Eavesdroppin' with a twist as Geordie and Michelle join Fonz and Mez from The Midllifers podcast for a special collab! Starting with the Eavesdroppin' duo jumping into The Midlifer's format... Who is your sexy hall pass? As we all know, our sexy hall passes change as we get older and on this episode you get to hear four middle-aged ladies giggle about who their hall passes were when they were younger and who they'd like to 'have a cup of tea' with now. The answers might surprise you! And if you're a fan of Arnott's Scotch Finger Biscuits, look away... We follow with a Rant Or Rave about true crime media - is it a good thing or not? And end with Who Did It Better? Brad Pitt in the film Se7en or Brad Pitt in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood - which film will win the battle?Geordie follows with a segue into some new theories about Charles Manson - was he a twisted cult leader or a pawn being used by the US government for the greater good? Listen now for theories that touch on MK Ultra, Helter Skelter, the Black Panthers and more... So pop on your headphones, grab a brown lemonade and join Geordie & Michelle and Fonz & Mez for this week's episode, plus chit-chat about Marilyn Manson's microphone, Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candle and more, only on Eavesdroppin' podcast. And remember, wherever you are, whatever you do, just keep Eavesdroppin'! *Disclaimer: We don't claim to have any factual info about anything ever and our opinions are just opinions not fact, sooorrrryyy! Don't sue us! Please rate, review, tell your friends and subscribe in all the usual places – we love it when you do!Listen to The Midlifers here: https://podfollow.com/1751242707 Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/eavesdroppinDo write in with your stories at hello@eavesdroppinpodcast.com or send us a Voice Note!Listen: www.eavesdroppinpodcast.com or https://podfollow.com/eavesdroppinYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqcuzv-EXizUo4emmt9PgfwFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/eavesdroppinpodcast#themidliferspodcast #charlesmanson #mansonfamily #se7en #cults #tarantino #ukpodcast #truecrime #storytellingpodcast #funnypodcast #eavesdroppin #eavesdroppinpodcast #eavesdroppincomedypodcast #podcast #comedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Send us a textIt's "Re-Release Time" as we are preparing for Season 5 of "The LYLAS Podcast!"  What can you expect from Season 5? A new logo, website, improved sound and visual quality of the podcast, new and exciting topics and guests!!! It's all coming your way!!!! But, before it does we are kicking it back to some of our favs from Season 4!Ever found yourself holding onto resentment because you are convinced of someone else's ill intentions? Forgiveness isn't about letting others off the hook, it's about freeing ourselves from the negative, emotional weight. Listen in as we share how we are working through this process ourselves!Please be sure to checkout our website for previous episodes, our psych-approved resource page, and connect with us on social media! All this and more at www.thelylaspodcast.com

Welcome to the Personal Development Trailblazers Podcast! In today's episode, we'll talk about helping midlifers through the tough transitions of life.Nicki is a multi-passionate entrepreneur who loves guiding others through major life transitions. She has been on her own healing journey and has picked up many tools and modalities that have eased her transitions and now share those with others. Known for authenticity, honesty and tough love, Nicki will help you face the things you avoid and get real about your situation. Connect with Nicki here: https://www.facebook.com/nicki.conner.16/instagram.com/connernicki/===================================If you enjoyed this episode, remember to hit the like button and subscribe. Then share this episode with your friends.Thanks for watching the Personal Development Trailblazers Podcast. This podcast is part of the Digital Trailblazer family of podcasts. To learn more about Digital Trailblazer and what we do to help entrepreneurs, go to DigitalTrailblazer.com.Are you a coach, consultant, expert, or online course creator? Then we'd love to invite you to our FREE Facebook Group where you can learn the best strategies to land more high-ticket clients and customers. QUICK LINKS: APPLY TO BE FEATURED: https://app.digitaltrailblazer.com/podcast-guest-applicationDIGITAL TRAILBLAZER: https://digitaltrailblazer.com/

In this inspiring episode of The Midlife Makeover Show, Wendy Valentine chats with Lesley Logan, a second-generation certified Pilates teacher, breathwork expert, and mindset coach. Lesley is on a mission to help people transform their lives by reclaiming their time, energy, and confidence. As the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com and host of the podcast Be It Till You See It, Lesley offers practical tools for building habits that stick, letting go of what no longer serves you, and embracing self-care as a priority.   Lesley shares her wisdom on how Pilates can be done anytime, anywhere—even in your pajamas! She also breaks down the science behind low-impact movement, the connection between habits and emotions, and why self-care is essential (not selfish!) for living your best life. Wendy and Lesley explore topics such as: The Truth About Pilates: Why you don't need expensive equipment or a studio to start practicing. Building Habits That Last: How to make tiny changes that align with your values and create sustainable routines. Self-Care in Midlife: How to prioritize yourself without guilt and embrace movement that supports your energy and hormones. Be It Till You See It: The mindset shift that empowers you to act like the person you want to become. Breaking the Wellness Shame Cycle: Encouraging others (and yourself!) to make self-care a non-negotiable part of life.   Lesley also introduces her popular Pilates Deck, a beautifully designed set of exercise cards that make Pilates accessible wherever you are. Whether you're a seasoned yogi, a Pilates newbie, or simply looking for ways to feel stronger and more present, this episode will leave you feeling motivated and ready to take action.   Key Takeaways: Pilates is for everyone! It's about using what you have—your body and a mat—to create strength and resilience. Small, consistent steps are the secret to making big changes in your habits and life. Self-care is the most selfless thing you can do for those you love. Start asking: “What would the future me do?” and act accordingly.  

It's season 13 and Lorraine and Trish are back on Sunday 8th September with the big midlife interview but they've also added a short extra weekly episode to give you life advice, tips and resources from the experts. Here's a little sneak peek at what they have in store. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

EP 121: It's not selfish to put yourself first in midlife. Midlife self obsession is approved. My guest today has 400k social media followers listening to her every word. After being a mother and a wife, a friend, a sister or a career-er when will it be time to be you and choose you, too?!? Today's guest explains why choosing you in midlife is not selfish and gives us the tools to show up for ourselves despite the midlife internal s**t show.  Join me, Dr. Sarah Milken in a new podcast episode all about choosing yourself in midlife. This week I am joined by London-based registered psychotherapist, social media rockstar and new author & podcaster, Helen Marie.  Today we are talking about self-worth, getting unstuck, parenting and re-parenting ourselves  - which are all topics that she explores in her new book called “Choose You Gentle Words to Help You Heal and Grow” which is a guide for inner-work and deep thinking. This is the midlife self-help, self-recognition, self-work episode you have all been waiting for.  Looking forward to connecting with you! Here are some ways to connect with me! THE FLEXIBLE NEUROTIC SHOW NOTES: https://www.theflexibleneurotic.com/episodes/121 THE FLEXIBLE NEUROTIC INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theflexibleneurotic/  THE FLEXIBLE NEUROTIC WEBSITE: https://www.theflexibleneurotic.com/  THE FLEXIBLE NEUROTIC EMAIL: sarah@theflexibleneurotic.com   

Today on Karl and Crew Mornings, the team wasn't in live, but we left behind some great content for you. We talked about the generations "Young Professionals" and "Midlifers", as well as spoke with some experts on those generations. Take a listen to the Karl and Crew Showcast to hear some of the best moments from today!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nicole Christina is a psychotherapist who focuses on eating disorders at midlife and older. She also is a zestful ager who has hunted pythons in the Everglades and is preparing to hike the Camino in May with her 3 tennis friends, all over 55. Nicole is the host of a multi award winning podcast, Zestful Aging Podcast, which is heard in 106 countries. Many of Nicole's guests are change makers and top experts from a variety of disciplines. She calls herself “the Terry Gross of aging well.”

Vandaag in de studio bij Radio Willekeur: The Midlifers. Dit muzikale trio vond dat er te veel muziek werd gemaakt voor jonge mensen, en daarom komen ze vandaag hun nieuwe nummer 'Botox and Bicycles' ten gehore gebrengen. Cabaretiers Andries Tunru, Stefan Hendrikx en Ruud Smulders improviseren een hele radiouitzending aan komische onzin bij elkaar. Dat alles onder muzikale begeleiding van Bram Brouwers. 3 cabaretiers, 1 muzikant, 100% improvisatie. Elke werkdag in je favoriete podcast-app!

Redefining MenopauseWelcome back to the Rocking Midlife Podcast!In this week's episode, I had the pleasure of sitting down with London-based Rachel Lankester. Rachel is not just a fabulous author, (whose book is on the recommended New York Times list for books about menopause) but a mentor and podcast host of Magnificent Midlife, an online hub celebrating and empowering women in their 40s and beyond.During our conversation, we discuss the negative perception about menopause held by so many in western cultures. Rachel shares how this isn't the case in other cultures and explains how we should instead embrace menopause as a natural phase of life and not an “illness” needing medical intervention. She also shares her journey through menopause, along with tips she has discovered from experience and research. It's time to alleviate the anxiety associated with menopause and ageing, and celebrate this new season of life! Tune in now to this episode of the Rocking Midlife® Podcast and hear Rachel's insights about Redefining Menopause.Check out Rache's blog and podcast and get her book HERE: https://magnificentmidlife.com/Grab my FREE ebook "The Ultimate Midlife Side Hustle Guide" HERE: https://bit.ly/midlifesidehustleguide#Menopause #MidlifeWoman #RockingMidlifePodcast

Episode #65 - Overcoming Mediocrity and Being Unstoppable in Midlife w/Regina Young Midlife can be a pivotal point in a woman's professional journey. It's a time when years of experience and wisdom intersect with newfound clarity and a burning desire for fulfillment. Yet, far too often, many women find themselves trapped in mediocrity—held back by self-doubt, societal expectations, or fear of change. But here's the truth: mediocrity is not your destiny. Instead, it's a temporary state that can be shattered with the right mindset, tools, and strategies. In today's podcast, our guest will help unravel the secrets of breaking free from mediocrity and unleashing your full potential in midlife. In this episode of the Midlife Career Rebel Podcast, you'll discover… Regina's story of overcoming mediocrity and creating the Teatime Podcast The importance of cultivating a growth mindset and overcoming limiting beliefs to unlock your full potential How to embrace change and take calculated risks to propel your career forward How to leverage your years of experience and wisdom to create new opportunities and embrace reinvention Ageism in hiring and what to watch out for How to give yourself permission to create an empowering vision for your future Featured On the Show (and additional resources): Teatime Midlife Edition: https://linktr.ee/TeaTimeMidlife Carol Parker Walsh Consulting - https://www.carolparkerwalsh.com Fearless: The Career Rebel Academy: https://bit.ly/CRAapply Regina Young has charted her own journey in life. She believes that standing in your own power makes you unstoppable. Regina worked as an Executive Assistant for pharmaceutical companies for many years, but she pivoted during the pandemic when she founded and now hosts the podcast Teatime Midlife Edition. The monthly teacup podcast inspires women in midlife to take their turn, be unapologetic, create communities where they are accepted, and live their best life in midlife without asking for permission. As a #1 Amazon bestselling co-author of the book "Overcoming Mediocrity – Unstoppable Women", Regina shares part of her journey of how she never gave up on her dreams to model and now is a pro-aging midlife influencer with the agency, Celebrate The Gray. Through self-development, perseverance, and determination, Regina never let someone else's idea of beauty define her own light. As a Midlife Influencer, Regina shares how you can get your" midlife shine" on and enhance who you are now. She shares products through her one-stop Amazon shop for Midlifers called "Teatime Midlife Edition." Also…. Email us if you have any questions or topics you'd like us to cover on the podcast at hello@carolparkerwalsh.com. Take our LinkedIn Quiz and discover your LinkedIn Archetype: https://go2.bucketquizzes.com/sf/8e40128f Is your personal brand where it needs to be? Take our Personal Brand Quiz: https://go2.bucketquizzes.com/sf/6bec3638 Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts "I'm loving the Midlife Career Rebel Podcast!" If that sounds like you, help us support more people like you to create a career and life they love. After all, the Midlife Career Rebel Podcast would not be possible without you. Click on the link below to subscribe, give us a five-star rating, and leave a review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Apple Podcast Spotify Amazon Music iHeart Radio Stitcher Google Podcast Thanks for listening, Carol Be sure to follow me: Website: https://www.carolparkerwalsh.com/podcast LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/parkerwalsh Instagram: https://instagram.com/drcarolparkerwalsh YouTube: https://youtube.com/carolparkerwalsh

EPISODE SUMMARYWell, folks, it's hard to ignore the big news these days about ChatGPT and AI.Although we've been using AI for a while now, many of us have thought it was still a ways off from becoming truly disruptive.But now, with the launch of ChatGPT in November 2022 and GPT-4 in March 2023, we've entered a new phase of development where AI outputs are virtually indistinguishable from human outputs, and some are hailing, are even better than what humans can do.For those of us in the working midlife crowd, this presents both an opportunity and a risk. We can't bury our heads in the sand and pretend it's not happening.So in this episode, I'm going to talk about why we need to pay attention and take action now to reposition ourselves for what's coming. Stay tuned for some practical tips you can implement right away to stay ahead of the game.KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE The unrelenting march of AI development is a monster curveball that will affect midlifers in the workforce. The worst thing we can do is to stick our heads in the ground and ignore what's happening. But don't worry, there are certain things we can do to prepare, plan, and reposition ourselves. So let's get to it! For all the links and show notes, head on over to http://secondbreaks.comWork with Lou BlaserConnect with Lou Blaser on LinkedIn.Subscribe to Midlife Cues, a weekly newsletter about intentional living in midlife.

Lucky Girl is the newest self-help crazy blowing up on TikTok.   It's based on manifesting what you want and spreading good vibes.  Can you hop on and activate Luckygirl Syndrome at Midlife? This is how it's  works: Tell yourself that everything works out for you - big and small. The universe is rigged in your favor. You are the luckiest person. And this attracts more good things coming your way. Is this 'new idea' simply a repackaging of the Power of Positive Thinking that we have heard so many times before?  We want Midlifers to think of this as a refresher course on the power of Positive Thinking….  Yes, let's call it Lucky Girl and Ellen and Tish will put it to the test and talk about other ways you can update this philosophy in midlife. We all can have Lucky Girl Syndrome in Midlife.Things we talked about in this episode:  TikTok, Laura Galebe, Power of Positive Thinking, Weight Watchers, Zig Ziggler, Manifesting, Hearts of Palm lasagne, High Five, Lucky Girl Syndrome, Elf Putty Primer, Nevelle Goddard.Support us with a monthly subscription and get a quarterly live  Q&A with Ellen and Tish.ObsessionsTish: Elf Putty Primer - put it under your foundation for a midlife dewy look Ellen: Palmini hearts of palm lasgna sheets - gluten free, keto and vegan.  Give us a review... Click hereWant to start podcasting?  Click here to let Buzzsprout know we sent you, this gets you a $20 Amazon gift card if you sign up for a paid plan, and help support our show

Economic policy: Baffling Brexit plan will wreck trade, says M&S chiefUkraine: Kyiv expects long-range missiles after West finally sends tanksFrance: How release of Leopard 2 tanks piles pressure on MacronOfficewear: Dress for high-end London club, firm tells its lawyersChildcare: The women whose costs are so high there is no point workingRise of the high-end ‘hun': Midlifers who work hard and play hardRead all these articles and stay expertly informed anywhere, anytime with a digital subscription. Start your free one-month trial today to gain unlimited website and app access. Cancel anytime. Sign up here: http://bit.ly/2WRuvh9.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Manu Badenes lleva en crisis desde prácticamente el momento de su nacimiendo. Eso no quita que la mediana edad no le esté sentando fatal.

Stop being OLD and start being BOLD! Ignore your age and go on an exploratory journey of leaning into the things you love! Midlife is the perfect time to do all those things you wanted to do in your life! And if you're not sure what you want to do then it's time to try something new! On today's show, our bold and beautiful guest, Jen Marples, is here to remind you that you are Not Too F***ing Old!™ to have the life and business you desire. Jen is an entrepreneur, life and business coach for women, podcaster, and motivational speaker. Prepare to be motivated, inspired and moved to create a magical midlife! Enjoy!

Are you ready for a career change? Are you tired of your long commutes to work and spending a ton of money on gas? Are you ready for more time with your family and to create a life that you enjoy living? Bradley Rice, founder of Talent Stacker, tells us on today's show how to make it all happen. And then some! Bradley has worked in the Tech Ecosystem for over 12 years and became one of the highest-paid Tech Professionals in the world making $225,000 working just 20 hours per week. Although this incredible career positioned him to retire at 31 years old, he was determined that he wasn't done with his professional career and started Talent Stacker as a service to put others on the same path that led him to Financial Independence. He has now helped over 30,000 individuals start their tech careers with no degree, no tech background with a starting salary of over $72,000 in an average of 5 months! Midlifers, this is a must listen! Enjoy! ❤️  Connect with Bradley! ⬇️ Website: https://www.talentstacker.com/Free (free resources here!) YouTube: YouTube.com/SalesforceForEveryone  LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/BradForce  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/salesforceforeveryone  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@salesforceforeveryone ❤️❤️❤️

EP 42: Do you ever feel like you just have to grin & bear it with midlife injuries or menopausal symptoms? I do…I feel like my teens and husband will think I am always whining about something…but, of course, it is ok for them to whine about everything. Join me, Dr. Sarah Milken in my solo episode, “Thx Hawaii! That Was Rad…Midlife Injuries. WTF?” This is my second minisode of The Midlife Golden Sh*t Shovel Cluster F*ck Series. In this week's minisode, I dive deep into the past seventeen months of my life, why I started my podcast, and a not so relaxing family trip to Hawaii (during Covid) that taught me a valuable midlife lesson. If we want to be successful on this midlife journey, then we have to ask for help in times of need. Breaking the seemingly perfection veneer and showing vulnerability & need is okay…ask Brene Brown. It's time to stop worrying about the judgmental peanut gallery. Forget trying to look like the perfect midlife remixer. It IS time to CHOOSE YOU, even if it's a little “achey and complainey”... Midlife self obsession is on! Some Highlights:  It is never too late to start something new The best decisions are the ones that scare us Strengthen connections in midlife Take off the shiny veneer  Take your wants & needs off the backburner Ask for help, you are not a burden! Choose you! Looking forward to connecting with you! Here are some ways to connect with me! THE FLEXIBLE NEUROTIC SHOW NOTES: https://www.theflexibleneurotic.com/episodes/42 THE FLEXIBLE NEUROTIC INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theflexibleneurotic/  THE FLEXIBLE NEUROTIC WEBSITE: https://www.theflexibleneurotic.com/  THE FLEXIBLE NEUROTIC EMAIL: sarah@theflexibleneurotic.com

Natascha Hardee likes to say that just because you are a woman over 50, it doesn't mean it's time for you to pick out a casket and quit life. She has over 50 years of experience as a fitness trainer and in occupational therapy. She's a dancer, a certified life coach and speaker.  She has recently become the Clubhouse Moderator Mentor for Midlifers and has no plans on slowing down anytime soon! Natascha specializes in guiding women 50 and over how to transition to the next phase of their lives without guilt, shame, or fear. She is committed to being a resource for seasoned women who desire to live a sexy, healthy, and vibrant life holistically.

Sharon and Jenny chat with Karen Herbert, CEO and Founder of Themelios Coaching, about how to own your own future. Mothers often unconsciously leave their own future choices in the hands of others as they transition into the empty nest. We're going to talk about how to own your future and stop others from hijacking your time. #midlife #emptynesting #timemanagement #yourfuture #transitions #menopause #lettinggo --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/letsbevisible/support

Sharon and Jenny chat with Karen Herbert, CEO and Founder of Themelios Coaching, about how to own your own future. Mothers often unconsciously leave their own future choices in the hands of others as they transition into the empty nest. We're going to talk about how to own your future and stop others from hijacking your time. #midlife #emptynesting #timemanagement #yourfuture #transitions #menopause #lettinggo --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/letsbevisible/support

Boy, this is a tough one, y'all. If you are in a position to take care of an aging parent or are looking at this in the future, you will want to listen to this episode. This might not seem like a festive subject, but the Holidays are time when we think of family. Midlifers are forced to see aging parents as they really. But don't fret; this can be a bonding experience as well. So take heart! This is candid look at this time in life.Take a ringside seat as Amelia talks about her dad being diagnosed with leukemia and Cam describes watching her mom take care of an aging mother. We cover the difficulties of being a parent and a child. We talk about stresses with siblings. This is an all-encompassing, raw look at being the child of aging parents. We hope you like this episode as much as you liked the one on being the moms of grown-ups. This is real life folks. So listen up!As always, please subscribe, leave us a review, and we would love it if you'd take a screenshot of yourself listening and post on Social and tag us, @thehelpfulplate, @heymomma_cam, @midlife.mommas.Join us on the midlife journey!Websites: www.camoyler.com and www.thehelpfulplate.comInstagram: www.Instagram.com/midlife.mommasFacebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/midlifemusclewithcamIf you have any burning topics that you'd like us to tackle, please let us know!

Midlife and menopausal women are powerful, beautiful, and sexy. This discussion will fire you up to own your power in midlife and menopause.  Of course, women over 40 are faced with the classic challenges of menopause. However, we are owning it. We are not ashamed of natural aging like previous generations. This is an opportune time to reevaluate who we are, and where we want to go in our next chapter.  Therefore maintaining fitness over 40, proper diet, proper rest, and a positive perspective is of vital importance.  Midlifers are letting marketers know that the representation of women can not be limited to women in their  20's and 30's. Midlife women are strong, beautiful, and sexy. And having midlife women and men represented as strong, sexy, and beautiful is powerful.   Ironically this episode was recorded and world menopause day and it was actually quite exciting to know that a day to celebrate this fabulous phase of life exists. Contact Dr. Ellen Albertson on Instagram @the_midlife_whisperer Check back every Tuesday for a new episode. Find me on Instagram @judyarazoza  Join my Facebook Community for midlife women The Air Hug Community   

Today's episode features Kathy Batista, who shares her health journey and how the Healthy Hormones Group Program helped tremendously in improving the quality of her life. Kathy Batista is the go-to coach for Midlifers. She is a certified thought coach, a mindfulness instructor and  believes that Midlife isn't an age – it's just a phase and can be your best one yet! Important Links: https://www.zestyginger.com/links/ https://www.zestyginger.com/HealthyHormones/ https://www.zestyginger.com/hormoneblueprint/

Working on an essay collection? Dreaming of becoming a literary agent? We were all over the map with Kristin Van Ogtrop, agent at InkWell Management, author of the essay collection Did I Say That Out Loud: Midlife Indignities and How to Survive Them and former editor of Real Simple Magazine (which KJ mistakenly attributed to Conde Nast but is really part of the Time Inc. empire). Midlifers, essayists, job-hoppers—this is for you!Mentioned on the podThe Empty Glass by J.I. BakerNalini Singh, #AmWriting episode The Power of Writing as PlayThe Neapolitan Quartet by Elena Ferrante#AmReadingKristin: American Baby: A Mother, a Child, and the Shadow History of Adoption by Gabrielle GlaserJess: Bombshells by Sarina Bowen The Happy Ever After Playlist and Life’s Too Short by Abby JimenezKJ: Brood by Jackie PolzinFind Kristin on Instagram and Twitter as @kvanogtrop or at her website www.kristinvanogtrop.comYour dream job is calling—can you hear it? Check out these success stories from Author Accelerator’s book coach certification program and start imagining what your life could look like this time next year. And have you checked out the Writing Class Radio podcast? Writing Class Radio is a podcast of a writing class.  If you love stories and get inspired by hearing other people tell their stories and want to learn a little bit about how to write your own stories, then this podcast is for you. Check it out here or search for it in your pod-player. This is a public episode. Get access to private episodes at amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Len is joined by Tom Lamb and Denis Keane, Co-founders of Wisdom Essentials. Wisdom Essentials is on a mission to help Modern Midlifers be well in mind, body and spirit. Through natural botanic and CBD formulas and holistic education, they aim to help people live their best lives.    "We believe CBD is an amazing compound, but it is not a miracle drug. It needs to be combined with and wrapped around other nutraceuticals, and that's what we have done."   In this episode How Tom & Denis came to the CBD industry Discovering the brand identity Marketing to midlifers  Advertising obstacles  Products - not just CBD Concerned about Excited about  

The first-ever Experience 50 Virtual Book Club featuring Jennifer Louden's newest book, Why Bother? Discover the Desire for What's Next. Mary Rogers and the author are joined by podcast supporters to discuss the book's message to midlifers looking for answers to the questions, Why bother? and then, What's Next? Full show notes: https://www.experience50.com/212 Support the podcast: https://www.experience50.com/donate

Laura Sanchez Ramirez is a Journalist (Bilingual) for The Miami Herald, El Nuevo Herald, The Sun-Sentinel, North Carolina News, UM News Service; a Writer for Harper’s Bazaar and Vanidades magazines, EFE News Agency, and BBC Mundo; a Radio Producer and show host for British Broadcasting Corporation and JLT Radio, a Media Specialist and PIO - Miami Dade College Communications Dept. & President’s Office; an Author - Currently working on four books: Santiago de Compostela pilgrimage, French Route; Collection of Poems; Family Recipes and Virtues, and Personal Development; and hosts a Podcast- Coaching for Life Goals - all about coaching and growing in life. Laura coaches small business owners who are looking to form their teams, or strengthen ties with their employees. CFLG works with them by offering coaching sessions via webinar (especially now during COVID), or in person, to help them increase their productivity, cultivate their mindset, and remove any limiting beliefs that might be jeopardizing the quality of their job or business. She coaches clients in their mid-life years (Midlifers), who have lost the magic in their life. CFLG helps them see they can still accomplish their dreams and find the better version of themselves, even after 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond. She coaches Millenials and GenZer students as they thrive to find their true call and a career that will truly make them utilize their talents and skills to the best of their abilities. We help them figure out if they need to go back to school, change career path, or embark in the entrepreneurial world by giving them tools that will bring clarity and lead them to take the best decision for them. Laura has been married for three decades and is the mother of two young women, currently working in the entertainment and film production industry. Conversations with Extraordinary People A monthly FBLive/podcast based on my book The Magical Guide to Bliss. It takes the listener through the year with empowering conversations from January and Carpe Diem- Seize the Day to December, Awe-inspiring Magic and Miracles. *July is the month of Fabulous Freedom! Get empowered to make the changes you need to manifest the most amazing life of your dreams! For more bliss, go to megnocero.com and order your book The Magical Guide to Bliss today! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/meg-nocero/support

This Teatime Midlife Edition conversation on Racism is our commitment to transform the world so everyone can have peace, equality, and our God-Given right to exist.Youtube Ted Talk link referred in this episode from Baratunde Thurston: https://youtu.be/RZgkjEdMbSwToday's Tea is LavenderTune into and Subscribe to Teatime Midlife Edition on Apple iTunes, iHeart and Spotify.Follow us on Facebook at Teatimers Midlife CommunityIntro and Outro Music by artist A-Y Check out A-Y on #SoundCloud https://soundcloud.com/ayrayrand Support the show (https://www.patron.com/podcast-teatimemidlifeedition)

Manu Badenes lleva en crisis desde prácticamente el momento de su nacimiendo. Eso no quita que la mediana edad no le esté sentando fatal.

Lynne Wadsworth helps women who are facing midlife, lose weight, feel ageless, end the madness with sugar, and help them to feel truly energized all day long…naturally and without deprivation or starvation.  https://holistic-healthandwellness.com  

Episode 76  Is Sobriety Complicated?  In this episode, I talk about the overcomplication in midlife and in sobriety.  Topics include:  My decision to quit drinking How I decided it wasn't complicated  My mantra that I used and still use today to keep me sober  My plan after I quit drinking  Midlifers are a different breed of drinkers  What you can do when you quit to keep you from not drinking  If you are a woman over 40 who needs help to quit drinking and build a sober lifestyle, please email me to discuss coaching services.  To join my group coaching program for August, click here  To join my Facebook community, To 50 & Beyond, click here         

Uday Benegal is one of India’s most acclaimed and influential independent musicians. Best known as the frontman and creative force of the pioneering rock band Indus Creed and the acoustic pop trio Whirling Kalapas, Uday talks to Salone about the joy of turning grey, shedding baggage, why he prefers bikes to cars and how important it is to acknowledge the end of any relationship.

Quasar Thakore Padamsee is the son of legendary Alyque Padamsee. Theatre runs in his veins as much as chai does. Salone and Quasar explore the relationship he had with his late father, worldly wisdom that he inherited from him, how is 30s different from 40s and why Chai has more resonance than coffee in theatre.

Joy Fernandes is an actor, director, writer and as Salone fondly likes to call him, a clown. Joy truly lives up to his name and is known for spreading happiness around. He detests classroom knowledge and believes in the wisdom that comes with experiences. Salone and Joy, in the second episode of Midlifers, access the comic and tragic sides of the same clown in all of us.

Romi Purkayastha is a writer and blogger who eats and breathes food. She loves to travel and is known to arrange food walks and curate exotic lunches and dinners. A self-proclaimed Dal lover and a trained Bharatnatyam dancer, Romi took to stage a little later in her life. Salone and Romi in this heartfelt chat talk about what is it like to ‘arrive in life’ and the disappointments that come with it.

Dhruv Shrikent was a high-profile investment banker and Druv Kent is an internationally acclaimed musician. Fortunately, they are both the same guy. In 2013, Dhruv left the safe havens of Deutsche Bank and became a full-time musician. Salone in this candid chat explores the insecurities that come with the profession of being an artist and the cost of chasing your dreams.

Debbie Rivers felt she worked in one of the most disliked occupations, auditing! A safe, well-paid government job and one that she didn’t like, plus she dreaded going to work as it sucked the life out of her. Despite being a seriously risk adverse person, at 53 she took a huge step, and left her security behind, to work in dating! Debbie said it was time to do what she loved, making a difference rather than nit picking!  An Accidental Entrepreneur, she always had an aversion to business as her parents ran delis (delicatessens) while she was growing up and were never around. After 21 years of marriage, and single, Debbie explored the dating scene but was dismayed by it and its new language breadcrumbing, ghosting, orbiting, benching, terms for bad or poor behaviour. Despite that Debbie felt compelled to explore speed dating and loved the concept! She talked with others about the idea, until a bar owner convinced her to try running one herself and her first was Perth's Biggest Speed Dating Event. Crazy, is how Debbie describes herself then, with no events or business experience she didn’t wait for perfection but dived in thinking all she needed was a website and people! Debbie laughs because she now knows how hard that is to achieve! But she did it, it wasn't perfect but she started and it was a great success.  Over time Debbie has expanded to all things dating including coaching people to navigate the dating world and to maybe find the love they had longed for.  To learn more go to: mailchi.mp/f5b34c4cee27/debbieriversloveyourselffirst Despite now living the dream, Debbie says it’s never too late to live the life you have always imagined and is glad she made the choice to follow her passion. 

Midlifers are just as bad as teens when it comes to internet addiction. True! Facebook, Candy Crush, Pinterest. Meet Kevin Roberts, author of Cyber Junkie: Escape the Gaming and Internet Trap and Get Off That Game: The Essential Family Guide to Healthy Screen Behavior Mary and Kevin discuss our bad habits and tech fasting.  The un-edited video of this interview is available (thru 2018) only to patrons who support the show at https://www.patreon.com/maryrogers