Podcast appearances and mentions of David Chambers

Thinking about opening your relationship? Watch this first. In this powerful and eye-opening conversation, relationship therapist and polyamory coach Roy Graff joins David Chambers to unpack what truly needs to happen before couples transition from monogamy to polyamory or ethical non-monogamy. They explore the essential mindset, emotional preparation, and communication tools that most couples skip—leading to heartbreak, jealousy, or breakdown. From trauma-informed relational insights to real-life experiences and practical steps, this episode is a must-watch for anyone curious about open relationships, polyamory, or improving communication in long-term love. Roy Graff is a counsellor, life and relationship coach who draws on his training in Psychosynthesis psychotherapy, Radical Honesty, Non-violent Communication and Wheel of Consent training to offer coaching and mentoring to individuals, couples and polycules. He can help you with relationship issues, honesty and authenticity in relating, life transformation and major life crises. KEY TOPICS:   ⭐ Polyamory As A Conscious Alternative To Traditional Monogamy ⭐ Misconceptions, Projections, And Social Judgment Of Open Relationships ⭐ Therapist Bias And Lack Of Polyamory-Informed Clinical Training ⭐ Healing Trauma Through Open Relationships And Emotional Inquiry ⭐ “Why Do You Want This?” — The Importance Of Inner Motivation ⭐ How To Create Agreements, Not Rules — Flexibility In Relationships ⭐ The Power Of Vulnerability And Radical Emotional Honesty ⭐ Polyamory ≠ Avoidance  ⭐ The Freedom To Love Without Possession Or Control ⭐ Community, Support Circles, And Normalizing Polyamorous Lives ⭐ Why “Successful” Relationships Don't Have To Last Forever   Connect With David - The Authentic Man: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theauthenticman_/  Website: https://www.theauthenticman.net/  For Coaching: hello@theauthenticman.net  Newsletter: https://www.theauthenticman.net/home-subscribe    Connect With Roy Graff: Website: Openrelating.love   Instagram: @openrelating   

Are you ready to become the kind of man your partner truly feels safe, seen, and supported by? In this powerful solo episode of The Authentic Man Podcast, host and men's relationship coach David Chambers dives deep into one of the most crucial yet rarely taught life skills: how to be a better partner as a man. Whether you're in a long-term relationship, navigating dating, or simply wanting to grow emotionally and relationally, this conversation is for you. David shares honest, actionable insights on what makes men great partners—from emotional availability and communication to leadership in love, intimacy, and daily life. #MensWork #BetterPartner #AuthenticManPodcast #MasculineLeadership #RelationshipAdvice #MenHealing #ConsciousRelationships #MensCoach KEY TOPICS:   ⭐ The Art Nobody Teaches You - How To Be a Better Partner ⭐ Your Partner Not Triggering You, Your Past Is ⭐ How Emotional Absence Is Being Masked In Your Everyday Habits  ⭐ Avoiding Conflict And Emotional Responsibility ⭐ Listening Without Fixing ⭐ Creating Emotional Safety Through Trust And Respect ⭐ How To Practice Sexual Integrity ⭐ The Need For Masculine Leadership With Clear Intention ⭐ The Importance Of Equality In Household And Social Responsibilities  ⭐ Emotional Triggers & How To Respond Instead Of React ⭐ Honoring Your Partner's Feelings And Desires ⭐ Do Your Inner Work For Growth - Male Friendships And Community As A Tool   Connect With David - The Authentic Man:   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theauthenticman_/  Website: https://www.theauthenticman.net/  For Coaching: hello@theauthenticman.net  Newsletter: https://www.theauthenticman.net/home-subscribe   

In this powerful and eye-opening conversation, David Chambers speaks with Professor Ben Hine—psychologist and researcher at the University of West London—about the deep emotional toll family breakdowns have on fathers. From the overlooked role of dads in the family court system to the systemic biases men face during separation and divorce, this episode uncovers the hidden truths about fatherhood, emotional well-being, and societal expectations. If you're a father, know a father, or work with families, this is a conversation you don't want to miss. We explore mental health, parental alienation, masculinity, child attachment, and the impact of societal and cultural stereotypes on men's lived experiences. Ben received his BSc and PhD from Royal Holloway, University of London in 2010, focusing on the gender-typing of prosocial behavior in youth. Since 2014 at the University of West London, his work in applied gender and forensic psychology has grown. He has investigated gender in the criminal justice system, including rape myth impact on case progression (with MOPAC), and collaborated with SafeLives and The Mankind Initiative on domestic violence victim needs, including LGBTQIA+ and male survivors.  More recently, he explores post-separation abuse, particularly Parental Alienation, a professional interest stemming from his own parents' divorce in 2020. This personal experience has led to collaborations with various charities, organizations, and parents, as well as reflective writing on family breakdown, abuse, PA, and family court involvement.   KEY TOPICS:   ⭐ Why Are Fathers Marginalised in Custody And Court Systems ⭐ Emotional Fallout From Family Breakdown For Separated Fathers ⭐ The Stereotypes Of The Absent Or Unnecessary Father ⭐ Biological And Neurological Changes In Active Fatherhood ⭐ How Prejudice And Bias Shape Legal Outcomes ⭐ Weaponising Allegations Against Fathers In Family Court ⭐ Children's Long-Term Psychological Impact From Parental Alienation ⭐ The Empathy Gap Toward Men's Emotional Experiences ⭐ Why School Systems Fail To Support Boys Equally ⭐ Class, Culture, And Race In Fatherhood Stereotypes ⭐ Challenging The Traditional Masculinity Through Vulnerability And Involvement ⭐ Reframing Men's Issues As Human, Not Just Gendered Problems   Connect With David - The Authentic Man:   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theauthenticman_/  Website: https://www.theauthenticman.net/  For Coaching: hello@theauthenticman.net  Newsletter: https://www.theauthenticman.net/home-subscribe    Connect With Ben Hine:    Separating Better App by OnePlusOne -https://www.oneplusone.org.uk/news/separating-better-the-story-so-far  

Are you struggling with anxious attachment as a man? Do you find yourself overthinking texts, fearing rejection, or rushing into relationships — only to feel more disconnected? In this episode of the Authentic Man Podcast, David Chambers breaks down how anxious attachment shows up in men, why it's often misunderstood, and most importantly, how to overcome it to build healthy, secure relationships. KEY TOPICS: ⭐ Most Men Are Avoidant - Why This Is Not True ⭐ The 4 Types of Attachment Styles And Differences Between Them ⭐ The Paradox Of Craving Abandonment - Anxious Attachment Style In A Nutshell ⭐ The Fundamental Ideas In Society That Push Men Into Anxious Attachment ⭐ How Does Anxious Attachment Style Show Up In Men ⭐ The Most Common Reasons Behind The Anxious Attachment Style ⭐ Self-Sabotaging Behaviors in Anxious Individuals ⭐ Practical Advice On Shifting Anxious Attachment Patterns ⭐ The Self-Esteem Work As Key Element ⭐ Leadership, Communities & Building Healthy Relationships ⭐ Redefining Masculinity & Shifting The View Connect With   David - The Authentic Man: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theauthenticman_/  Website: https://www.theauthenticman.net/  For Coaching: hello@theauthenticman.net  Newsletter: https://www.theauthenticman.net/home-subscribe   

On this episode of the #teakink Podcast, Eva Oh sits down with David Chambers, a coach helping men deepen their capacity for love. They unpack his past in the pick-up artist community, why he initially resisted becoming a coach, and what actually makes a good one. From the parallels between coaching and domination to men's fears around love and attunement, they explore what holds people back from empathy and connection. Plus, they dive into Vipassana, the patriarchy, universal basic income—and whether aliens might just save us all.Watch on YouTube: https://youtube.com/evaohMore on Eva Oh: https://eva-oh.comHIGHLIGHTS:Here are the timestamps for the episode. On some podcast players you should be able to click the timestamp to jump to that time.(00:00:00) - Welcome. What is #teakink(00:00:21) - Why David Chambers Helps Men to Love More Deeply(00:01:50) - How Love Has Changed For David Since He Became a Coach(00:06:25) - Why and How David Started to Change His Experience of Life(00:11:00) - Who Asks for David's Help and Why?(00:12:10) - David's Own Coaches(00:14:25) - Eva's Initial Mistrust of Coaches(00:16:40) - David's Pick Up Artist Coaching and Community(00:22:35) - David Didn't Want to be a Coach(00:23:20) - What Makes a Good Coach(00:25:40) - A Dominatrix Coaching Circle?(00:27:50) - Managing Client Numbers as a Coach(00:30:20) - Parallels between Dominatrix and Coaches(00:31:25) - The Benefits of Coaching in Groups(00:34:00) - David's Fear of Expressing Love(00:36:30) - What are Men Afraid of and How to Work with Their Fears(00:41:25) - Men's Approaches Towards Women and ‘Attunement'(00:53:10) - Eva's Perspective Building ‘Walking Exercise' with Her Clients(00:56:40) - Why People Hide from Feeling Empathy(00:59:10) - The Patriarchy, Reparations, Gisèle Pelicot and What Do We Do About It(01:08:00) - Leaning into Challenge, Disagreement and Moving Out of Reaction(01:10:00) - Vipasanna Meditation and Rewriting Our Relationship to Pain(01:14:00) - Universal Basic Income and Greed(01:15:00) - Will Aliens Save Us?!

In this powerful episode, David Chambers sits down with men's leadership expert Peter to unpack the hidden reasons why so many men feel disconnected, lost, and stuck in their lives, relationships, and careers. We dive deep into the father wound, mother wound, and how childhood conditioning silently blocks men from accessing true power and emotional confidence. Peter shares his own story of transformation — from self-medicating and emotional suppression to becoming a leader who helps men reclaim their purpose, presence, and self-expression.   Peter Eugène Bennett, Born in London, grown in Bangladesh, raised in Glastonbury - my multicultural upbringing taught me to navigate different worlds. Through personal struggles with family tragedy and my own journey with burnout, I discovered that our deepest wounds often become our greatest gifts. I never faced my own shadows of self-doubt, self-harm and self-hate. I hid the pain, suppressing emotions through various escapes, until a near-fatal street fight and arrest became my wake-up call. Yet with struggle comes freedom. I was stuck in my head, and now guide others back home to their hearts. For those who sense there's more to life and are ready to take the leap - I invite you to discover your full expression. My superpower is authenticity. From living with Shipibos in the Amazon to training in Flowstate, each experience has deepened my initiation into leadership. With a colourful 10+ year career in fast paced and creative roles, I found success as a TV presenter, “won” 3 dating shows and worked with brands such as MTV, Vice Media and TimeOut - still my heart yearned for more.. Everything changed when I attended my first men's circle in 2019. Recognising the profound impact of this work, I trained as a facilitator and began leading my own groups, witnessing the power of connection. Now, as Director of Sacred Sons Europe, I guide transformational experiences across the world, whilst offering 1-2-1 coaching and conscious leadership and wellbeing consultancy. KEY TOPICS:   ⭐ Shifting The Perspective About Oneself And Lifestyle ⭐ Astrology, Energetic Profiles And Other Tools For Self-Awareness & Growth ⭐ Cultural Belonging – Navigating Mixed Heritage & Тhe Challenges Of Fitting In ⭐ Masculinity and Emotional Healing – Understanding the Wounds  ⭐ The Hero's Journey and Personal Growth  ⭐ Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies in Relationships and Leadership ⭐ Men's Work and Brotherhood – The Role Of Men's Groups And Collective Healing ⭐ Father and Mother Wounds And How They Shape The Personality ⭐  How Embracing Honesty & Self-Expression Strengthens the Masculine Power ⭐ Authenticity and Vulnerability – Sacred Union and Conscious Relationships Connect With David - The Authentic Man:   Breaking The Chains Of Avoidance Waitlist: https://forms.gle/oFyNbPmugYKtjQpRA   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theauthenticman_/  Website: https://www.theauthenticman.net/  For Coaching: hello@theauthenticman.net  Newsletter: https://www.theauthenticman.net/home-subscribe  Connect With Peter Eugène Bennett:   Website: https://www.mensworkcoach.com/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mensworkcoach?igsh=bGVzaTl2NWp1aWs2&utm_source=qr  

In this week's episode Manpreet speaks to relationship coaches David Chambers and Asa Baav who are also in a relationship together and have a child. They share how to break patterns of childhood and co-create a family and partnership by your own design. Sharing how to have a higher standard in your family then you grew watching. A great listen for both men and women! Tune in to discover:

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."I remember coming across this quote at Burning Man years ago. It's from writer and essayist Anais Nin. It struck me then, and it reverberates for me still.This photo was taken that year. That sky is particularly specific to that time of evening, as the heat of the day dissolves into gorgeous blue & purple hues.I remember my friends and I were stopped at an art piece, after gallivanting around the playa on our bikes, weaving in and out of the dust and denizens of Black Rock City.That year was the Temple of Transition, and it was a threshold that changed everything.It was then I learned of the role of grief and the necessity to come together in tending the endings that make us human. It was then I recognized my marriage was over, even though it was another year before we parted ways.Recently I had the impulse to look up the words from Anais Nin, and discovered the rest of the quote:"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. Living never wore one out so much as the effort not to live. Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose, endure adversity and stumble from defeat to defeat. Perfection is static, and I am in full progress."I love that. That a live worth living is not one of striving for success, but a willingness to fail again and again. This is how one comes to know life. To blossom is a risk. To expose your vulnerability, your authenticity and your creativity is to expose yourself rejection. To dare to become. Somewhere in there, your soul comes alive. This is the spirit of my upcoming Awakening the Wild Erotic, an ritual immersion for men release dysfunctional patterns around “eros,” the primal force of life, and step into a new phase of aliveness. This will our 5th time running the event, and men have found the container incredibly valuable. Upcoming AWE Dates: April 4-6, 2025 Vancouver Island has a few spots left. (Last chance to apply now!) We are also bringing AWE to the Montreal area July 18-20, 2025. Get the full details and apply here.Podcast RoundupOver the last few months I've been featured in a number of great podcasts. I figured I'd round them up as a digest and share below. The Authentic Man - Mythopoetic Masculinity and Navigating Conflict in RelationshipI really enjoyed this conversation with David Chambers, where we cover a number of topics, including: Domination vs. Partnership Culture, Reconditioning for Connection, Support systems for couples, Regenerating Culture, The Power of Deep Partnership, Understanding and Dealing with Jealousy, How to deal with conflict in a relationshipEvolving Man - Iron John And The Foundations Of Mythopoetic MasculinityA solid conversation with my longtime friend Ben Goresky. In this episode, I share my journey into the mythopoetic men's movement, which explores masculinity through myth, initiation, and men's groups. I open up about how the death of my grandfather led me to this work and helped me understand the challenges of modern manhood, especially in a culture that lacks clear rites of passage. We discuss the archetypes of the Hero and the King, dive into the themes of Iron John, and explore the importance of men's circles for personal growth and emotional support. We also reflect on the rediscovery of lost initiation practices, reconnecting with passion, and embracing The Deep Masculine to navigate life's stages and challenges.The Smiling Human - Myth as Medicine: Addressing the Crisis of MeaningIn this conversation, Oak Mountain and I discuss the themes of mythopoiesis, masculinity, and the cultural narratives that shape our understanding of identity. We cover the importance of myth in making sense of the human experience, the evolution of masculinity through different cultural eras, and the current crisis of meaning faced by many men today. RiverFlow - Weaving Love, Eros & Men's WorkIn this episode, Harry Friedman and I explore into rich territory. We explore the metaphor of polyamory as a wetland and “relational exclusivity” as a river, to understand different approaches to love and relationships. We dive into the traditional views of elder mentors around marriage and matrimony, contrasting those with the ideas of free love and open relating, particularly those espoused in the Tamera research project. We also discuss how romantic relationships can serve as vehicles for healing, while community plays a crucial role in the broader process of personal and collective healing.Tripping with Nick SunFinally, you're invited to check out this episode with Nick Sun', whose podcast “seeks to explore the fundamental question: How do we live as human beings during these crazy times without losing our freaking minds?”Thanks for reading. P.S. My Deep Masculine 3 month program is also live. There are pathways for both men & women. Get the full details here. Get full access to The Mythic Masculine at themythicmasculine.substack.com/subscribe

For a limited time, The Chorus in the Chaos listeners get 10% off their first purchase at Reformation Heritage Books! Use the coupon code: "CHORUS". While there, don't forget to check out the new Family Worship Guide.    In this episode of The Chorus in the Chaos Podcast, Jack is joined by special guest David Chambers to conclude their discussion on biblical eldership. Building on their previous conversation about the qualifications of an elder, they now focus on the practical responsibilities that come with the role. Topics include: ✔️ The biblical foundation for eldership (1 Timothy 3, Titus 1) ✔️ The importance of financial integrity and stewardship in church leadership ✔️ The dangers of greed and how it can corrupt ministry ✔️ Shepherding responsibilities—what it truly means to care for God's people ✔️ The balance between theological education and spiritual maturity ✔️ Why an elder must have a good reputation inside and outside the church Jack and David also share insights on how churches can ensure their leaders are faithfully serving as under-shepherds of Christ's flock. Whether you're an elder, aspiring to be one, or simply interested in biblical church leadership, this episode is for you!

For a limited time, The Chorus in the Chaos listeners get 10% off their first purchase at Reformation Heritage Books! Use the coupon code: "CHORUS". While there, don't forget to check out the new Family Worship Guide.    In this 2-part,bonus episode of Chorus in the Chaos, Jack is joined by Pastor David Chambers of Zion PCA in Lincoln, Nebraska, to discuss the critical topic of eldership in the church. Drawing from biblical texts like 1 Timothy 3, Titus 1, and James 3:1, they examine eldership's qualifications, responsibilities, and its spiritual weight. Why is it so easy for churches to prioritize business skills over biblical character? What dangers arise when churches choose leaders based on charisma instead of calling? And how can churches ensure their elders are shepherds and not just board members? Jack and David tackle these questions and more, offering insight into what it means to be above reproach and truly accountable in church leadership. Key Topics Discussed: ✔️ What the Bible says about eldership (1 Timothy 3 & Titus 1) ✔️ The dangers of the celebrity pastor culture ✔️ Why spiritual maturity matters more than leadership charisma ✔️ The importance of local church accountability ✔️ Practical steps for churches selecting elders Resources Mentioned:

Approaching conversations around sex with our partners can be challenging...especially once we become parents and things get more complicated. How can we better explore and communicate our desires to our partners? What role can porn play in intimacy? Has mens self pleasure shifted away from shame into a new era of self love? Here to unpack all of this is David Chambers, a mens intimacy coach who has seen it all before... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From episode #79 with David Chambers. More from that episode: - David shares about his work and passions - Purpose vs passion - Co-creating attraction and intimacy - Overthinking and anxiety - Treating dating like a video game - Invitations vs expectations - British masculinity and being a Black man - Race and the white spirituality community

David Chambers coaches men on living their best life, escaping the constrictions of performative masculinity, finding vulnerability and intimacy, and and avoiding redpill grifters. DAVID:https://www.instagram.com/theauthenticman_/ME:https://www.instagram.com/selfworsthttps://twitter.com/bradicalpearsonPATREON:https://www.patreon.com/selfworstMUSIC BY SHEA BARTEL:https://sheas.art/

I enjoyed a quickening conversation with poet Rachel McCrum about interpreting the crafts of writing and painting, poetry as a space of ambiguity and uncertainty, and burnout. She shares this beautiful line from Inua Ellams - 'poetry is the cheapest way to be free.' And the podcast she references is The Blindboy Podcast by Limerick-born musician and author David Chambers, also known as Blindboy Boatclub. To learn more about Rachel and her work, you can explore rachelmccrumpoetperformer.wordpress.com online and @kicking.paris on instagram. For sight into another aspect of Rachel's artistic practice, check out her vocals as a member of poetry noise bogrock band Pigs&Wolves at https://youtu.be/r9YRmDUvrzA (their EP 'The Unfortunate Waggle' is due out late October 2024).

"David Chambers, 72 ans, vit seul dans sa coquette maison de Londres, en compagnie de James son domestique. Il a pour seuls héritiers un neveu, Georges Clarke, marié à Betty, et une filleule, Edith Crawford, architecte paysagiste réputée. Lorsqu'il est retrouvé mort dans un petit bois, les inspecteurs Jackson et Brown de Scotland Yard pensent aussitôt à un suicide. Mais le portefeuille et l'appareil photo du défunt ont été dérobés et un beatnik, Powers, est retrouvé à proximité dans les bois. L'inspecteur en chef Jackson envisage toutes les hypothèses. *** Fiction radiophonique diffusée dans l'émission “Mystère Mystère”, de Pierre Billard - ""Mort d'un gentleman"", d'après un texte de Jean Marcillac - Réalisation : Pierre Billard - Première diffusion : 21/06/1966 sur la Chaîne Inter Variétés de la RTF - Avec : Evelyn Séléna, Louis Arbessier, Jean Topart, Pierre Marteville, Pierre Delbon, Claude Morin, Raoul Curet, Pierre Constant, Jane Marken et Pierre Moncorbier - Un podcast INA"

Welcome to Season 2! On today's show, we interview David Chambers, the Deputy Director for Implementation Science in the National Cancer Institute. We'll talk about the history of implementation science, the false notion of science in a vacuum, the role of creativity in science, what makes a good meeting, how teams are like jam bands, and you'll get to test your knowledge of Frank Zappa against David's. Mentioned during the show: Proctor, E. K., Powell, B. J., Baumann, A. A., Hamilton, A. M., & Santens, R. L. (2012). Writing implementation research grant proposals: ten key ingredients. Implementation Science, 7, 1-13. Curran, G.M. Implementation science made too simple: a teaching tool. Implementation Science Communications 1, 27 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1186/s43058-020-00001-z  

On this week's episode we're talking about men. Specifically, masculinity, male sexuality and the myths surrounding it. To that end, Emma was joined by Men's Dating, Relationship & Intimacy Coach, David Chambers, and the Director of Facilitation at Beyond Equality, an organisation that is rethinking masculinity and engaging men and boys in the gender equality conversation, Ben Hurst. From the impact of Andrew Tate and why his messaging has become so insidious, to the ways in which hit tv show, Baby Reindeer, highlighted how men often feel unable to talk about sexual abuse and harassment and the reasons behind that, to Ben and David's own relationship to sex growing up and the impact growing up in the church had on their respective feelings of sexual shame, we covered a lot in this discussion. We hope you enjoy this episode as much as we did. The next live recording of the Sex Talks podcast is on June 19th and will see us turn our attention to men once again as we discuss what a positive notion of masculinity looks like today and how shedding reductive gender stereotypes can help us all have a better relationship to sex, intimacy and relationships. You can purchase tickets to the event here. And subscribe to the Sex Talks Substack here.

In Episode 67 we are joined by David Chambers, a relationship expert, thinker in the field of men and masculinities, and podcaster from the UK. We chat with David about the concept of ‘toxic masculinity', the gendered patterns in attachment styles, and the appeal of reactionary masculinism among the youth. We also discuss the promise of an emerging happier, healthier masculinity, rooted neither in shame nor domination.Part of the Talking Shit series.Show NotesDavid's InstagramDavid's podcast, The Authentic ManDavid's websiteDavid's LinktreeFollow Fucking Cancelled on InstagramFind merch in our shopClementine MorriganJay LesoleilFucking CancelledTheme song by ST x LIAM.Mixing and editing by Charlotte Dora.Jay Lesoleil is a writer, artist, and shelter worker from Montréal with a background in political anthropology. Jay is also one half of the podcast Fucking Cancelled.Clementine Morrigan is a writer and public intellectual based in Montréal, Canada. She writes popular and controversial essays about culture, politics, ethics, relationships, sexuality, and trauma. A passionate believer in independent media, she's been making zines since the year 2000 and is the author of several books. She's known for her iconic white-text-on-a-black-background mini-essays on Instagram. One of the leading voices on the Canadian Left and one half of the Fucking Cancelled podcast, Clementine is an outspoken critic of cancel culture and a proponent of building solidarity across difference. She is a socialist, a feminist, and a vegan for the animals and the earth. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.fuckingcancelled.com/subscribe

Authenticity is a source of incredible power that is often overlooked. While it can take some time to know and free yourself, it's worth the time and energy, because it exponentially supports you having more connection, support and pleasure in your relationships, for the rest of your life.  If you're not satisfied with your love or sex-life, and could use some insights into what makes women want more of you, tell me more about yourself here and we'll schedule a time to talk: shanajamescoaching.com/consult

Authenticity is a source of incredible power that is often overlooked. While it can take some time to know and free yourself, it's worth the time and energy, because it exponentially supports you having more connection, support and pleasure in your relationships, for the rest of your life.  If you're not satisfied with your love or sex-life, and could use some insights into what makes women want more of you, tell me more about yourself here and we'll schedule a time to talk: shanajamescoaching.com/consult

I couldn't be more excited to share today's episode with you. If you don't know him, let me introduce you to David Chambers - who I actually met for the first time NOT online but in real life, YES I KNOW! When I first heard David at that festival I knew I had to get him on here for you so that you could be as wildly impressed as I am. He is a men's relationship and dating coach officially but actually is so much more than that. We discuss the unconscious teaching that men receive in society (hint, it's not what men OR women truly desire), what it means to be a man, and of course of course the good old dating aps! I know you will love him as much as I do - get comfy and listen in.AND if you want to dive even deeper into how you can manifest more love, more trust, and more resilience in your life, then I suggest you run right over here and pre order your copy of my latest book, Infinite Receiving. When you do there are some JUICY bonuses…do it, do do it!Quotes: "When we avoid rejection, we can never fully be in." "I was always afraid of liking someone more than they like me, and it happened. And I was OK.""We are often attracted to the very things which bring us pain."Highlights 01:03  "Tell me about men. What am I not understanding?"23:24 “It's a conversation that I'm having all of the time with my girlfriends, with my mentors, all of the time about how, as a woman who is in a successful position, how do you really allow yourself to be in your feminine? How do you really allow a man to be in his masculine?”25:52 "But you're looking for signs already that he can't do that job. So you're scanning the man. The men going, okay, what evidence can I see in them, in a chink, in their armor that shows that they can't do the thing I want them to do? And at the first sign, it's like, boom, there we go. You can't do it. I'm not feeling you anymore. You won't be able to allow me to be safe in my feminine. Is the work really to find a man, or is the work to do the work to start to feel safe in our feminine?" 29:30 "Like, what does equality mean? It's confusing for everybody, I think."Find David Online Find David on Instagram Listen to The Authentic Man Podcast Find Suzy on Instagram Find Suzy on Facebook Find Suzy online Join The Quantum Success Hub on Telegram Faith + Action = Miracles

As a Men's Dating, Relationships & Intimacy coach, coaching men for over a decade, David Chambers guides men to build deep emotional connections, self-confidence, and experience connected sexual intimacy by helping them build self-awareness, emotional intelligence and self-leadership.I have been following David's work for a while now, and I am honestly super happy to be able to bring him on the show today. We cover an extremely diverse range of topics, from men's issues with vulnerability and expression, to skillful communication in conflict, to intimacy, and even a bit around mindful masturbation and healthy self-pleasure. If that last topic makes you squeamish, we've saved it for the end, so you can still listen to the full episode and get all the rest of David's wisdom, and when that part comes, you're welcome to skip it (but I do highly recommend checking it out, even if it's out of your comfort zone, as I think it's an incredibly important topic). As always, if you enjoy these podcasts the best way to support the show is to leave us a written review on Apple Podcasts, which you can do anonymously. Thanks in advance! And without further ado, please enjoy this conversation, with David Chambers. https://www.instagram.com/theauthenticman_/-------------------------About Jeremy LipkowitzJeremy Lipkowitz is a meditation teacher, coach, and digital habits expert on a mission to empower men to reclaim their minds, thrive in relationships, and live with integrity. Featured in Men's Health Magazine and Livestrong, his impactful work includes helping men overcome porn addiction and live with purpose. With over a decade of teaching experience, Jeremy created the Unhooked Recovery program, which offers a 30-day reboot for addiction. Having triumphed over addiction himself through mindfulness meditation, he's shared techniques globally, including at universities, recovery centers, and organizations, such as Microsoft and The United Nations. With Genetics and Genomics degrees and progress towards a Duke University PhD, Jeremy transitioned fully to mindfulness teaching in 2015. Trained as a Buddhist monk and ICF-certified Executive Coach, he blends science, spirituality, and self-compassion for self-mastery and high performance living.Interested in getting 1:1 coaching support? Learn about my Coaching Program and book a free discovery call: https://www.jeremylipkowitz.com/introGET NOTIFIED WHEN DOORS OPEN TO UNHOOKED RECOVERY: https://jeremylipkowitz.mykajabi.com/unhookedConnect with me on Social:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremylipkowitz/Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremylipkowitz/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/JeremyLipkowitz

Russell Brand: Appreciation for Healing in Public w/ David ChambersThis conversation is so much more that the title implies. Give yourself the gift of listening to all 44 minutes. Pay particular attention to: 7:50 when David spoke on stage at Russell Brand's recent event12:15 David's realizations about who he was being as a man post silent meditation 20:00 Do we allow for grace or only demonize people for being human?35:44 Where does consent play a role in all of this?Recommended reading The Art of Receiving and Giving:The Wheel of Consent by Betty Martin and Robyn Dalzen Subscribe to my newsletter on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/diginity-intimacy-cordelia-gaffar?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_ios&utm_campaign=share_viaDavid Chambers, The Authentic Man, empowers men to create the exciting and deeply connected dating lives, sex lives and relationships they long for by developing their true authentic selves and embodying healthy masculinity.As a Men's Dating, Relationships & Intimacy coach, coaching men for over a decade, David guides men to build deep emotional connections, self-confidence, and experience connected sexual intimacy by helping them build self-awareness, emotional intelligence and self-leadership.Cordelia Gaffar is the Ultimate Joy Goddess - a soul medicine woman guiding to be multiorgasmic!! She is a holistic healing practitioner certified in sports nutrition and a certified Movement 109 Facilitator.As the CEO of Workout Around My Day Inc., Cordelia is a globally sought-after speaker, workshop and movement facilitator, a four-time best-selling author of eight books including America's Leading Ladies with Oprah Winfrey, and host of her personal podcast, The Free to Be Show.Cordelia was inducted into the Global Library of Female Authors in 2020 and is the recipient of multiple awards including the Top National Influencer, Sexy Brilliant Leader, and the Brainz Global 500 Award of Influencers and Entrepreneurs for 2021 and 2023. She also won Podcast of the Year in 2022, and was named Best Podcast Host from Powerhouse Global in 2019.She left her position as CFO for a small IT firm in Washington DC nineteen years ago to homeschool her six children. Cordelia has been featured on America Meditating Radio, British Muslim TV, South African Radio 786, Soul Wealth Radio in Washington DC, and Fox News.#russellbrand #cordeliagaffar #theauthenticman #sexscandal #consent #davidchambers

One Baptism by David Chambers Recorded on 07/23/2023

In this week's episode, you get me. You get a raw, honest and from-the-heart episode about my journey as an avoidant and commitment-phobe man and everything that I have learnt and now coach my clients through.   Let me give you an introduction to me & my avoidance because it might not be that obvious.    You've seen me through the podcast, and my Instagram and you might think - “David is an open-hearted, sharing, vulnerable, emotional guy”.   But I wasn't always this way. It was a long time where I didn't want to say how I felt, I'd avoided certain conflict situations, I've even refused to be in relationships for a while. I just wouldn't get into relationships even though I've met women who are truly amazing, and lovely and wanted depth, but I was just - “No, relationships that are worth it I want them to go away. I don't want commitment”.  Key topics include:  ⭐️ Dating & Relationships with Avoidant Men, Common Characteristics and Behaviors ⭐️ How an Avoidant Man Can Create Healthy Relationships and Friendships ⭐ Avoiding Expressing Fears, Needs, Worries. Down Playing Our Emotions ⭐️ Lack of Empathy for Us and Other People's Emotional Experiences ⭐️ Fault-Finding, Being Highly Critical of the People We Meet   ⭐️ Fear of Being Dependent on Other People, and Handling Rejection ⭐️ Facing Our Loneliness & The Need of Alone Time ⭐️ The Behaviour of Cheating in an Relationship ⭐️ Avoiding To Take Responsibility for Our Whole Well Being  ⭐️ The Push-Pull, Hot-Cold, Being Mysterious Dynamic    ✅ I have just opened up registration for the upcoming September 2023 cohort of my 12-week programme “Being An Authentic Masculine Man”, AKA B.A.A.M.M. Register interest here: https://forms.gle/rb4MJfo6XdHVXEG49

Psalm 63 by David Chambers. Recorded July 5, 2023.

Hi everyone. We're taking the week off for the 4th of July holiday, but we wanted to use this week's episode to honor Nobel Prize-winning economist Harry Markowitz, who recently passed away at the age of 95. Professor Markowitz is a giant of finance, someone who put diversification and Modern Portfolio Theory on the map, with his research transforming the way we allocate and invest our assets. While we didn't have the opportunity to interview Professor Markowitz for the podcast, we were able to chat recently with someone who had interviewed him: author and financial researcher Dr. Andrew Lo. Dr. Lo recently published a book titled “In Pursuit of the Perfect Portfolio,” in which he profiled some of the leading figures in academic research and finance. None stood taller than Professor Markowitz, whom Dr. Lo discusses at length in this interview we aired in February of 2022. We think you'll enjoy it. Thanks so much for listening and see you in a week. Have a happy holiday.Our guest this week is Dr. Andrew Lo. Dr. Lo is the Charles E. & Susan T. Harris Professor, a professor of finance, and the director of the Laboratory for Financial Engineering at the MIT Sloan School of Management. His current research spans five areas, including evolutionary models of investor behavior and adaptive markets, systemic risk, and financial regulation, among others. Dr. Lo has published extensively in academic journals and authored a number of books including In Pursuit of the Perfect Portfolio, which he cowrote with Stephen Foerster. He has received numerous awards for his work and contributions to modern finance research throughout his career. He holds a bachelor's in economics from Yale University and an AM and Ph.D. in economics from Harvard University.BackgroundIn Pursuit of the Perfect Portfolio: The Stories, Voices, and Key Insights of the Pioneers Who Shaped the Way We Invest, by Andrew W. Lo and Stephen R. FoersterAdaptive Markets: Financial Evolution at the Speed of Thought, by Andrew W. LoHistory"Thirty Maidens of Geneva," the Tontine Coffee-House, thetch.blog.com, Aug. 5, 2019."Why 18th Century Swiss Bankers Bet on the Lives of Young Girls," by Stephen Foerster, sfoerster-5338.medium.com, Sept. 2, 2021.William F. Sharpe"Keynes the Stock Market Investor: A Quantitative Analysis," by David Chambers, Elroy Dimson, and Justin Foo, papers.ssrn.com, Sept. 26, 2013.Eugene F. Fama"Algorithmic Models of Investor Behavior," by Andrew Lo and Alexander Remorov, eqderivatives.com, 2021."In Pursuit of the Perfect Portfolio: Eugene Fama," Interview with Andrew Lo and Eugene Fama, youtube.com, Dec. 15, 2016."Why Artificial Intelligence May Not Be as Useful or as Challenging as Artificial Stupidity," by Andrew Lo, hdsr.mitpress.mit.edu, July 1, 2019.Charles D. Ellis"Charley Ellis: Why Active Investing Is Still a Loser's Game," The Long View podcast, Morningstar.com, May 27, 2020.Other"7 Principles to Help You Create Your Perfect Portfolio," by Robert Powell, marketwatch.com, Nov. 10, 2021. 

The Counseling Christian by David Chambers. Recorded July 2, 2023.

Psalm 63:5-7 recorded June 28, 2023

Psalm 63:1-4 A desire for God by David Chambers, recorded June 21. 2023

One Spirit by David Chambers Recorded on 06/18/23

How to decide whether to rent a house or apartment or purchase a home or condo. What has been the financial return from owning a house?Topics covered include:How much have home prices increased in major cities since 1980What drove the greater than 50% jump in home prices in some U.S. cities since 2020Why there aren't more new starter homesWhat will it take for the housing shortage to abate so houses can be more affordableWhy now could be a more advantageous time to rent versus buyWhat academics estimate the long-term return is for owning a house, and why the calculations are incompleteHow to determine what your total cost of ownership is for buying a house in order to compare it to rentingFor more information on this episode click here.SponsorsNetSuite – the leading integrated cloud business software suiteUse code MONEY10 to get 10% off on your NAPA Autoparts online order.Insiders Guide Email NewsletterGet our free Investors' Checklist when you sign up for the free Money for the Rest of Us email newsletter.Show NotesThe housing theory of everything by John Myers & Ben Southwood & Sam Bowman—Works in ProgressIrish property: the boom that shows no signs of slowing by Jude Webber—The Financial TimesWhatever Happened to the Starter Home? by Emily Badger—The New York TimesThe Housing Revolution Is Coming by M. Nolan Gray—The AtlanticIn Today's Housing Market, It's Timing Over Location by Joe Pinsker—The Wall Street JournalThe Rate of Return on Real Estate: Long-Run Micro-Level Evidence by David Chambers, Christophe Spaenjers, and Eva Steiner—Oxford AcademicThe Rate of Return on Everything, 1870–2015 by Òscar Jordà, Katharina Knoll, Dmitry Kuvshinov, Moritz Schularick, and Alan M. Taylor—National Bureau of Economic ResearchSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Join Ezra as he chats with David Chambers of The Authentic Man Podcast about what it is like to go from polyamorous to monogamous and then open back up in the same relationship.  We also talk about the expectation of flawlessness, David's favorite client, what is David's journey, challenges around podcasts, how David supported his partner and the way she is supporting him now, planning for time together, work life balance as a coach, fear as a positive indicator, and more.  Learn about David's coaching practice and podcast as well.   https://www.theauthenticman.net/podcasts   askezra.info  

One of the most important and underrated aspects of sexual mastery is COMMUNICATION. This is something you should focus on IF you want a thriving sex life and relationship.So in today's episode we're going to explore some very practical and powerful communication skills you can start using TODAY, to create the intimate reality you want.We're joined by David Chambers, who's an intimacy, communication and relationship coach for men. Multiple people requested that I interview him for this podcast, and I'm very glad I did because the conversation was awesome. IN THIS EPISODE:How to deal with challenging emotionsHow to be a more SKILLFUL listener (and why this will transform your relationship)How to express authentic desireHow to transmute limiting self-beliefsHow to deal with subconscious fear of feeling emotionsWhy staying committed to your purpose in relationship is important (and how to do it)and much more...

This week Abby sits down with relationship and men's coach David Chambers to talk masculinity, authenticity, and breaking your toxic patterns. Connect with David:theauthenticman.netIG: @theauthenticman_Check out David's podcast, The Authentic Man, here.Join the list for David and Asa's 8-week relationship coaching course here.https://www.theauthenticman.net/podcasthttps://www.asabaav.com/the-relationship-school/Connect with Abby:thesocialmm.clubIG: @thesocialmm@modernyenta

Welcome back to Laid OPEN, this week we're continuing our conversation with David Chambers, a relationship coach and host of the podcast, The Authentic Man.  We finish our conversation by talking about a variety of interesting topics relevant to men looking to lead authentic lives. This includes, the nature of women to ask for and then recoil at when experiencing a man's vulnerability, sexual shame as it affects men and of course, we speak about sexual freedom and what it means to David. He also speaks to his experience in the ISTA training, which he calls, “incredible.” You won't want to miss the helpful breathing exercise I use to end this episode. There's so much to be learned from the conversation I have with David, and I can't wait for you to experience it.

This is part 1 of a special two-part interview with David Chambers, who is a relationship coach and host of The Authentic Man Podcast. David and I engage in a fascinating conversation that explores how to find healthy models of masculinity when you grow up without a dad. he shares about the commitment issues and fear that held him back from not only fulfilling relationships but living a joyful, fulfilling authentic life. We also explore what it takes to grow beyond what your parents are capable of and partnership as a spiritual path. Plus, David ends this episode with a mindful masturbation practice he does with his clients. Stay tuned for part 2 of this important episode coming out next week.

In this blog cast, David Chambers writes on a topic that will make your "heretic detection" hairs stand on end! But fear not: NO HERESY DETECTED! Were Adam and Eve perfect? Well not necessarily. We are often told things in our traditions and families that aren't actually in accordance with the bible. So, it's good to reorient ourselves to the scripture and reconsider some things - especially something like this!

David Chambers Discusses Nebraska Furniture Mart's Strategy Post-Stainmaster by Floor Focus Magazine

David Chambers and Nina LoCicero Discuss Nebraska Furniture Mart's Flooring Showroom Reset by Floor Focus Magazine

Prayer is one of the greatest privileges for Christians. In this blogcast, David Chambers shows us from one passage of scripture the excellency of prayer and the blessing it brings to our lives as believers.

INTRODUCTION: Dr. Vernon T. Scott is from the state of Georgia. He is currently pursuing a Sex Coaching certification from Sex Coaching University and earning a second masters in Marriage and Family Therapy with a Systemic Sex Therapy specialization.Vernon has years of experience in life coaching and sexual health research and education. He is also an advocate for trans rights and fighting against rape culture and its systemic impact within society. Vernon plans to use his platform to provide healthy conversations related to the nuances of sexual expression and amplify the voices of those often forgotten by society.He is the host of the Heauxliloquy Podcast and the owner of Slaytor's Playhouse, LLC. The podcast focuses on bringing people outside the compressed box of sexual expression. Vernon and his guests have conversations that range from kinks to personal sexual experiences to mental health. As for Slaytor's Playhouse, it is a publishing company that currently provides journals, artwork, and books.Social Media, Website, and MerchVernon's IG and Twitter: @UrFavHeauxstPodcast Twitter: @HeauxliloquyBook link: https://www.amazon.com/Essential-Guide-How-Hoe/dp/173663190Xhttps://www.heauxliloquy.comhttps://slaytorsplayhouse.com  INCLUDED IN THIS EPISODE (But not limited to): ·      Sex Positive Conversation·      STD/STI Talk·      How Do Bottom's Prep For Sex?·      Bottom Shaming – No Ma'am!  ·      Anal Pap Smears/Cancer·      Surviving Child Molestation·      Surviving The Death Of A Mother·      Sex Offenders Are Women Too!·      Connecting With Our Loved Ones After The Die·      How Grandparents Are Cooler Than Our Parents·      YAY! MASTURBATION!!!  CONNECT WITH VERNON: Website 1: https://www.heauxliloquy.comWebsite 2: https://slaytorsplayhouse.comBook: https://amzn.to/3n86RIRYouTube: https://bit.ly/3nicLXDInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/urfavheauxst/Twitter (Vernon): https://twitter.com/UrFavHeauxstTwitter (Podcast): https://twitter.com/HeauxliloquyTikTok: https://bit.ly/3xOIjcPLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vernontscott/  CONNECT WITH DE'VANNON: Website: https://www.SexDrugsAndJesus.comYouTube: https://bit.ly/3daTqCMFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/SexDrugsAndJesus/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexdrugsandjesuspodcast/Twitter: https://twitter.com/TabooTopixPinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/SexDrugsAndJesus/_saved/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/devannonEmail: DeVannon@SexDrugsAndJesus.com  DE'VANNON'S RECOMMENDATIONS: ·      Pray Away Documentary (NETFLIX)o  https://www.netflix.com/title/81040370o  TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk_CqGVfxEs ·      Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed (Documentary)o  https://press.discoveryplus.com/lifestyle/discovery-announces-key-participants-featured-in-upcoming-expose-of-the-hillsong-church-controversy-hillsong-a-megachurch-exposed/ ·      Leaving Hillsong Podcast With Tanya Levino  https://leavinghillsong.podbean.com ·      Upwork: https://www.upwork.com·      FreeUp: https://freeup.net VETERAN'S SERVICE ORGANIZATIONS ·      Disabled American Veterans (DAV): https://www.dav.org·      American Legion: https://www.legion.org  INTERESTED IN PODCASTING OR BEING A GUEST?: ·      PodMatch is awesome! This application streamlines the process of finding guests for your show and also helps you find shows to be a guest on. The PodMatch Community is a part of this and that is where you can ask questions and get help from an entire network of people so that you save both money and time on your podcasting journey.https://podmatch.com/signup/devannon  TRANSCRIPT:[00:00:00]You're listening to the sex drugs and Jesus podcast, where we discuss whatever the fuck we want to! And yes, we can put sex and drugs and Jesus all in the same bed and still be all right at the end of the day. My name is De'Vannon and I'll be interviewing guests from every corner of this world as we dig into topics that are too risqué for the morning show, as we strive to help you understand what's really going on in your life.There is nothing off the table and we've got a lot to talk about. So let's dive right into this episode.De'Vannon: Hello, y'all and welcome to the sex drugs in Jesus podcast. Again, I speak positivity and new life over each and every last one of you today, I'm speaking with Dr. Vernon T Scott, he is the host of the ho liqui podcast he wrote this kick ass book called the essential guide on how to be a ho So in today's show there's gonna be a lot of sex, positive conversation. I'm gonna tell you all the STDs [00:01:00] I've ever had. I'm gonna tell you about my yearly anal rejuvenation retreat that I go on. And, we were rebuke bottom shaming and we help bottoms understand how to prepare for sex. We talk about the need for Anno pap smears, surviving, child molestation, and the death of a mother. I want you to put your ear real close to the speaker on this one. Hello, are you beautiful bitches out there and welcome to the fucking sex drugs in Jesus podcast. Hallelujah, tabernacle and motherfucking praise today. Happy pride month, you know, I'll go ahead and say it, but I feel like it's pride all year long. You know? So today I got with me y'all his real name is Dr.Vernon Scott. He don't like to go around talking about the doctor. He doesn't wanna be called burning, but I gotta give him his flowers. Y'all he went to school [00:02:00] for that shit. He has his doctorates and Hey, you bubbly bitch. How you doing today? Vernon: I am fabulous. Look, my, my thing is you can call me, just know that the doctor is there.That's all it's implied. just knows.De'Vannon: Well, let me see, how does these look?I got all this going on and so,oh God, nothing like a good tit flash on a, on a Friday morning baby. And so Vernon: it's a beautiful day. Mm-hmm De'Vannon: it's a beautiful morning. So y'all Vernon. He hosts a podcast called the ho [00:03:00] liqui podcast. That's spelled H E a U X, L I L O Q U Y. So he's spelled it like we do down here. In the south bay, he threw a little occasion on there.So he , that's how they do the Hoye podcast. So right off the bat, let me tell you, his website is hoy.com. He also has a website called Slaters playhouse.com and I'm gonna let him tell y'all what the difference is in just a minute. So Vernon is super sex positive. So when you talk about a whole lot of sexual education, maybe it's a little bit of mental health and some other things today.He also wrote a book it's called the essential God on how to be a ho, not once upon a time, not long ago, but right now, bitch, how to be a ho today. And so tell us about your podcast and the difference in between the two website. Vernon: All right. So the Hilo podcast is all [00:04:00] about bringing people outside of their compressed box of what they know about sexuality.It's about the kinky stuff. It's about the fetishes. It's about even addressing those tough topics like rape culture. It's all about learning more about yourself learning who you are, identifying your wants needs even how to navigate online dating versus traditional dating and just shining a light that we all have different perspectives that we all have different things that we like in our lives.Some other things that we even talk about because we, we gotta talk about sex. We have to talk about our sexual experiences. We have to talk about consent. We have to talk about our HIV statuses, if that's something that is coming up or something of concern, our just sexual health in general.Myself and another guess we were talking about our status of having HSV one, which is the Herper [00:05:00] herpes SIMPL fires, and just how to maneuver those conversations with people in terms of like the Ledger's Playhouse website that is, I would say my little growing business it is for publishing journals as well as books.But there's also other things in in terms of publishing on there, like there's artwork that people can purchase off of. There there's even in a vice column that we have on that website too. So it's still growing, it's still in development. It's also a avenue for people who may need life coaching.The goals with that is to, you know, expand the business a lot more, but I'm not trying to rush it. I'm just letting that develop the way it needs to develop. De'Vannon: Okay. You know, what Rome was it built in the day? And the Lord said that this spa is not the day of small beginnings, honey. Cause everything will, is time.Vernon: [00:06:00] You better say that word.De'Vannon: I don't mind preaching. Hallelujah. I'm gonna use this mouth something more than sucking Dick.Vernon: Oh, that needs to be a Bible verse. ThatDe'Vannon: secondSo in of all the things that you could have started a podcast about. And I, and I, and I hear the necessity in your voice. Why, why focus so much on sexual relations? Why, why do you feel like there's a need to talk about these things and then what qualifies you to be the one to tell us about it? Vernon: Hmm. So I, I think I'll start with the qualifications things, cuz that also goes into the need.So [00:07:00] I was sexually assaulted as a child and over the years I've been trying to wrap my head around. Okay. What actually happened there? What is this thing? And then being exposed sex at a young age, through like porn I didn't understand what was going on. Like what are these two people doing?So I always had that fixation on learning more about sex. So from the age of, let's say when the internet started, you know, dial up times looking into this thing when I had my first sex ed class learning more about sexuality these diseases and stuff like that, I still had. Unanswered questions.So I started to dive deeper into that figure out, okay. How does this STI impact your life? Along. You know your lifetime. How is a person who is a [00:08:00] bottom? How are they supposed to get themselves ready for sex? I, I, that's not something that's communicated. What about the person that's topping?What is the difference between the bottom and the top? I had to watch multiple porns to understand that difference, too. And then when it came to like lesbian relationships. Okay. Is this supposed to be something that there's a top bottom situation? How's that going? When it comes to heterosexual relationships, all right.We have all these people at my high school who are pregnant, so that that's a clue that they're having sex, but are they what's? Is this something with condom usage? Are they, do they know about condoms? What is going on? So over the years I just started to focus more on, more on researching sexuality and.To the point that I decided to focus on like things that like sex [00:09:00] education, how that's not provided in an equitable way, or we don't have too many comprehensive sex ed programs throughout the country. I even started to look more into rape culture too, which is what I got wrote about for my dissertation.Let's call it systemic rape culture, put it that way. And. I got to a point where I really wanted to start to develop like a course to start teaching people more about sexuality, more about learning, how to get that comprehensive education or design that myself. And I thought that the easiest way to do that, to provide the information to people is to.Pro give it to them in a platform or in a space that's easier for them to to digest it because there's not a lot of people who like to read. There's not a lot of people who even want to watch videos. And I thought, well, why not have a podcast that just talks [00:10:00] about sex in a healthy way that allows different perspectives, differences in opinions.That's not just telling people that, oh, a man has to do this. A woman has to do this. All gay people have to do this. All bottoms have to do this. All tops have to do this all lesbians, perform their sexual acts this way. So to break down the, the labels in a way to expand our horizon, because one of the things that I call myself is a sexual experience coach, as well as a, a sexual expression coach, which is.Helping people understand how they express their own sexuality. And that can be through Kings that can just be through vanilla sexual acts. But just sitting with them to help them figure out, okay, how can I enhance my sexual experience with myself as well as with others? So I, I say that's the thing that both inspired me to go into podcasting [00:11:00] as well as speak of my qualifications to talk about sexuality too.And not to mention, I I've been doing stuff in relationships since like 2011, like interpersonal relationships since 2011. De'Vannon: Okay. Okay. So I, I took several questions out of what you were saying and what you're now you're saying you started what exactly in 2011. Vernon: Oh learning more about interpersonal relationships.Oh, that's when, De'Vannon: okay. That's when.And thank you for such a beautiful breakdown. So I'm about to break down your breakdown. so, yeah. So you, so I heard you say that you were sexually harassed as a child sexually molested. And that's something that I read, you know, right at the beginning of your book, when I was reading through it to, and in the book you specified that it was some cousins who did this.So how old were you? How many cousins was [00:12:00] it? Were they male? Were they female? Vernon: So my first sexual experience, I was around two years old and that was an older male cousin. It was more of a oral thing. Not necessarily anything like penetrative in terms of like anal, anything like that. That is, I think, I don't know exactly which cousin it was.But I do know that it was a cousin and then later on there was another cousin who assaulted molested me for some time around three years or so. And that was from like age eight ish to like 11. I know it was up until around the time my mother passed. But it, it [00:13:00] was. Ongoing thing.But I will say I did not experience any sexual assaults from family after my mother passed. So after that essentially those things ended too, which I will say was a, a, a good benefit in terms of my personal growth and my healing process, too. De'Vannon: Okay. Thank you for, for sharing that. I'm gonna get more granular with this.Do these males who molested you, did they identify as gay, straight or by Vernon: do you know? Uh, Straight. De'Vannon: So what I remember, I was, when I lived in Houston, I volunteered for the dein children's center. Which is like a, is huge facility that houses children that don't really have anywhere else to go essentially.[00:14:00] And a part of the training was they showed us the registered sex offenders, you know, in the Houston area and the area we would be volunteering in. And, okay, so, so I'm in this training room and there's a projector, you know, with all these faces on the wall, it was almost like being in an FBI briefing or something like that.Okay. So about 50% of them were women and then the other, I still, I still have to hold my heart to this day. I, I never thought that that many women mm-hmm or sex offenders and and then the other half were men who didn't, who identified as straight there weren't in gay people. And so in that instant, I realized just how wrong say, like.Politicians are in the church are by trying to say, oh, the gay people are the pedophiles. And I'm like, not to say that it doesn't happen, but to act like women [00:15:00] don't molest girls and boys is silly. So like in churches, say like in my case, they kicked me outta Lakewood. Cause they didn't want me not being straight being around their children.But my whole point is why do you think you can trust the straight guy, supposedly straight guy and the supposedly straight woman more than the homosexual, the bisexual. I mean, at least we have a positive sexual outlet, you know, if he's straight and closeted, you know, he's more likely to take it out on a vulnerable child than a grown ass man who has a grown ass Dick to deal withSo, and so I just wanted to. To point that out. Cause I had a feeling that they probably were not L G B I a, usually it's the straight uncle, you know, in a lot of families. And I've heard this before. It's the straight uncle that gets ahold of the little boy when no one's around because no one suspects, the straight uncle they're too busy worrying about the gay uncle.Well, the gay uncle has [00:16:00] dinners to get to, he got shopping. The dude, like I said, he has a grown ass Dick to tend to, he's got to take several trips each month and he's got all this shit to do, honey, not to mention keeping his nails. No, no, we don't have time to be molest children. This does not interest us.Not at all. Vernon: so not at De'Vannon: all. So you need to stop worrying, not at all what the gays are doing and be watching the, watching the straight people in your family.Vernon: I agree, 100%. And that's the, the and I think one of the things that I learned within my healing process, because like the two year old thing, I, I really don't know who that was. So I don't know exactly how old that person was. But at least with the other cousins, we were all still children. So it was children molesting children.And in my education and me unpacking my [00:17:00] traumas and healing and whatnot, I came to the understanding that a lot of children who do molest other children were molested themselves. Yeah. So it's not necessary. And that, that realization was something that helped me release that pint up trauma or that pined up those pint up feelings that I had about that experience to know that, okay, they acted out of their own trauma that.They themselves have to deal with even to this day, cuz even when I think about the the, the main cousin who was who molested me, how he still doesn't have his mind together, he is still angry. He's still fighting in just so much rages within him. And I'm just like, I, I, all I can do is fill for you and pray that you do get the help that you you need.Do I feel safe around him? Not necessarily, but I also recognize that he has grown [00:18:00] over the years too. But it's, it's still a battle that some of those cousins are still having to deal with because someone else brought them out of their own innocence. De'Vannon: How big of you look at how mature you sound?I love thatcause it doesn't do you any good to hold onto the anger? You know, you know, molestation happens to a lot of people and you know, but I'm happy to hear that somebody can have that happen and then they can heal and move on from it. And so, and so, so your mom died and I'm sorry to hear about that. When you were around 10 ish.Vernon: I was, I always, it was 2007. I, I know the year, the age always for leaves me. I was either 13 or 14 somewhere within that range before high school. That's that's all I know it was before high school. [00:19:00]De'Vannon: What was it like being, you know, in your teen years without a mother. Vernon: It was, it was hard. It was having that realization that even if I do go off to college, she's not gonna be here.That was one of the goals that she wanted to see for myself. And my brother is that would go off to college. It was also realizing that I have to be responsible cuz she was the only one that I really felt safe around and the only person that actually showed that they cared for me and loved me within my household.So it was like, I was, I was losing a backbone in this moment. And I would say this is something that I even learned from therapy is that my coping mechanism, my trauma response and my what is it? Trigger are all the same thing and is rooted from her death. [00:20:00] And that is my need of being responsible.Because when she passed, I had to be responsible for myself. I had to learn how to cook. I had to take care of myself because no one else in that household was really taken care of me. And that's just the facts of it. De'Vannon: Did you still have a dad or what? Vernon: Yeah, my stepdad, he lived there. De'Vannon: So you think it's like, say he was there?That was it. He wasn't doing shit. Vernon: It's essentially not, not for me. At least love him down. And I like still love the man, but it in, in where, when I needed him, he wasn't there. De'Vannon: Did you have older brothers, younger brothers, sisters, siblings. Vernon: I have an older brother who lived with us and my stepdad.He also had daughters not with my mother, but he had his daughters, but they didn't, they lived with their mothers. So, De'Vannon: Ooh. Y'all had a situation. Vernon: Yeah. Look, that's only one side of the family. Let me [00:21:00] not go into my father's side. but what advice? I love each other. De'Vannon: I, I, I appreciate the love y'all have for each other.You got all I feel is love reverberating outta you. And so many people go through similar things and they become so bitter, but you've turned that, that like an Alchemist, you know, you turn that negativity into a new material, into something positive, like turning steel into water. So what advice would you give to somebody who has lost their mother and especially somebody who's still in their teens?Vernon: First thing, feel what you need to feel accept that your, your mother's no longer gonna be with you. It's a hard truth, but you do have to accept that at one point. And once you do accept that things do get do get a little bit easier. Sometimes you do have to sit down and write a letter to your mother just to update her on what's going on.Sometimes you, if you are of that faith of [00:22:00] either having a burial ground or even ashes, whatever it is that you have to still have your mother with you, talk to her whenever you can. Just acknowledge the fact that even if you feel as though that you're talking to a, a void that it's going to be received because sometimes just having that feeling of knowing that it's gonna be received is enough to keep you going for another day.De'Vannon: How beautiful mm-hmm . And so I wanna, I wanna, I wanna echo that in my own unique way. I believe that when people die, that they do not cease to exist. Mm-hmm so, as Alana is more said, said in in her song, thank you. How about not equating death with stopping? You know, death is more like of a transition, you know, it's our ultimate [00:23:00] form of freedom once we've, once we come to that point, I'm not saying go out and kill yourself to get free.I'm talking about living your life, and then when you die, you know, you transition and you turn into a spirit. So you, you take on your truest form as, as far as I'm concerned. Many of us have experiences of our dead relatives coming back to speak to us and visions and dreams and stuff like that. Mm-hmm sometimes we might smell that fragrance they used to wear.Maybe we'd smell some of that good old cooking grandma used to do or who or mama used to do in the kitchen. You know, when you're just alone somewhere the way they present it, say in star wars, I love the way that the Lord speaks to us through movies and shows and stuff like that. It's not just creativity.I think it's actually divine messages in a lot of shows and movies that we see. Mm-hmm especially movies like star wars and stuff like that that have strong religious overtones and stuff like that. [00:24:00] But you see when the Jedi died, They come back as those fuzzy little spirits that, that are hanging out in Kiki.So we see , you know, so they're just kind of like floating off to the side and they're very aware of everything that are going that is going on. So I don't, I feel like that when the elders die, when, when someone in the family dies that I have a, my connection with them grows in a way, because now they're everywhere that I go, they have more access to me now in spirit form.So like, so my grandmother's physically dead. My evangelist Nelson, my pastor is physically dead. When I wanna reach them now I'll just close my eyes and I'll focus on their spirit, their presence, their being. And I don't like to bother them too much. They already done they already done, done. They work in this life.So I don't do this a whole lot, but sometimes when I just get overwhelmed, you know, I'll just be like, look, you know, grandma evangelist. I, I don't mean to bother you, [00:25:00] but I need your help right now. Please come see about me. You know, , Vernon: that's, that's how when it comes to my grandmother, cause that, that was my role dog.That was my best friend as a child. SIS had my back. I had her back, like that was my mama. like the everyone knew I was the adopted child of LMA Scott. That was my mama. So I don't know who y'all think y'all are. That's my mama, everybody else. But like sometimes when I know I'm just in a, a negative space, I just think about my time with her, even our last moments together.And it just makes me feel a little bit better. I even my first alcoholic beverage, you know, I had that with my grandma. I was, I was young. I, I took her. I drank some hookup got in trouble, of course. But it was with, it was, it was with my, it was with my role dog. So like, so it was like those things even every now and [00:26:00] again, if I am going to drink something like liquor or wine, it's like shout out to you, grandma, because that is a way to connect with with her.So yeah, I definitely get that. De'Vannon: It's so fucking curious to me how the grandmothers are like, or like Wilder than our parents, either that either that are more willing to be transparent about it. Cause my grandmother. When I was like five, I would put on like an oversized shirt, which all I wore. Anyway, I'd put on one of my, one of my mom's belts to make a dress out of the oversized shirt and put on my mom's pumps, you know, with this much space in between the heel and the back of her shoe and run around the house and put on a show and my grandmother would staying at the door and keep lookout so that when my parents truck come down the street, I can get outta drag.And so , you know, and that was granny. And, you know, and then we'd be drinking the Manish Chevy's wine, the, the Blackberry wine and all of that shit. You know, grandma used to [00:27:00] turn up low pee. and then meanwhile, you know, my mom trying to act like she, you know, cute and got together, I'm all like, how is granny Wilder and more open-minded than my parents.And my grandma was born in like the 1920s and thirties, I guess either you cool or you not fuck. I don't know. Vernon: I'd say it's because our grandparents, they were exposed to the truth of, of life before things became, so identity focused are, so you have to be this, you have to be strict. You have to be this type of professional because back then, most definitely like in the twenties, that's all you saw.You saw people happy to be LGBTQ. You saw people who are out here for the party, drinking, enjoy themselves, going to speak. Easys all these things, enjoying their lives. And then, you know, after a while and you know, wars and shit, everything got a little bit more strict. And then that's where you get to the culture that we see today, where Uhuh, you cannot be gay.You cannot be this. You cannot be that you have to be anything. Other than [00:28:00] you cannot be anything other than what we present as the straight white men in here in the us. So that's what I, I will say that is probably the reason why a lot of grandmothers was just like, it is what it is. Look, I went to drag shows back in the day, myself, what you mean?He can't do this. like,I know I raised you. I know you was a whole, you telling this child not to be wherever they wanna be. Okay. Okay. Okay.De'Vannon: Go off. so granny kept it fucking real. Yes. God bless you, grandmother. Wherever you are at. I heard you say that you consider yourself a sexual experience. Coach. I want you to give me an example of somebody that you've worked with. Before. So tell me what their problem was, [00:29:00]what you did to help them change and then how they are today.Vernon: So let's say if alright, there was this one person who was very uncomfortable with masturbation, right? So just having a conversation of where does that come from? Why, why do you feel very uncomfortable? To masturbate and a lot of that came from their own religious beliefs and one of the things I work with them on is shifting how they view it.Right. And if you feel as though that, you know, masturbating is a sin, where does it say that? And where is that? Who told you that masturbation is a sin and are you not supposed to love yourself? And when I asked them about loving themselves, they were just like I'm I think I'm supposed to love, love myself.Okay. So why not please? Yourself can pleasure not be synonymous to loving [00:30:00] yourself. And that helped them realize, okay, you know what? I might be focusing too heavily. on outside, outside influences rather than what I actually want for myself. So advising them, Hey, okay. When you try this, don't try anything too severe first.Get to know your body. Also think about things that make you feel comfortable is that the music that you're listening to, is that any sense that you're listening to? Anything that kind of turns you on makes you feel happy to be in that moment? You know, a lot of people do love music, right? So build a playlist, figure out what songs bring you to one point and what songs bring you down and see if you can match your pleasure to that music that you're listening to.[00:31:00]So that when you do reach that peak, you have some music that will slowly bring you back down and I will have to say they're masturbating. They're doing good. so it's, it's just having those kind of conversations with people to see what they can do to enhance their experience either with themselves or with their with their partners.De'Vannon: Child masturbation is good for the soul. I a drawer, a drawer full of come rags right by my bed because I, I, I Jack off so damn much. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. And, but it's a great way to keep, to connect with yourself and it can be used spiritually and everything like that too. Mm-hmm I believe his name was David Chambers from.The authentic man podcast talks a lot about masturbation and stuff like that, too. So, [00:32:00] and people have messaged me before with that same shit, like, oh my God, I think watching porn is wrong or, you know, masturbation is wrong. And my question, it was the same thing who fuck told you that, you know, my HYP therapist was telling me the same thing too, in a session we were doing the other night, you know, she just let me know, you know, that every negative thing that I think about myself is something, someone else told me mm-hmm period.You know, we don't come into the world with predispositions that we're too fat. We're too skinny. We're too hairy. We're too black. We're too pasty. We're too white. We're too. We're too. Anything, you know, another motherfucker told you that mm-hmm and in terms of the religious thing about masturbating. The church uses the fact that if you're just jacking off at squirting com everywhere that you're not procreating, you know, they might use that argument.And they'll also use that scripture about when the children of Israel were told to procreate [00:33:00]and the guy didn't wanna have kids with a particular woman, you know, God killed him for it. But the thing is this. If the Lord only wanted show Dick to get hard for the sake of having a child and he would only let it get hard when it came time to have a child, you know, he designed our bodies.I mean, what the fuck do you need morning wood for if there's no one else in the house, if, but not to Jack off. So, so, and then by the appropriation argument is just stupid because by that logic, as soon as a woman gets pregnant, then there's time for them to stop fucking. You know, and I know good and damn well that they still fucking mm-hmm so they don't come out the house and tell everybody else to only have sex for the purposes of procreation.So what, after they have the first five or 10 kids, y'all not going fuck for the next 30, 40 years you together, stop, stop the lies. We know better. Mm-hmm, , it's easy to just be [00:34:00] sexual beings and just do sexual things. See how simple that was. Vernon: right. And it, and it amazes me cause you know, there's those peoples just like, oh, it's unnatural to do this unnatural, to do that when it comes to sex.And then when you bring up like animals and they're just like, we're better than animals. We're not animals. And like we're a part of the animal kingdom. Like it it's, it's this thing called taxonomy that that's we're, we're we're homo sapiens. That means we are a part of the animal kingdom. We, we. Act similar to other animals, other other animals masturbate, other animals have homosexual encounters.Other animals have bisexual encounters, other animals, procreate, like all of these things are all natural. So to say that anything is unnatural when it comes to sexual, expression's just like, you don't know what you're talking about and that's okay. Just recognize that you don't De'Vannon: society failed us. Yes, it is.[00:35:00] Absolutely. Okay. And you and I are gonna keep telling the world that it's okay. And combating that voices in people's heads telling them that it's not okay until they get that. It is okay. And no one can hurt you. If you wanna sit in your house and masturbate, and God is not going to send you the hell for it because.Because because God is open minded and loving and flexible and more loving than people in this, in, in the church are. Mm. But um, but society failed us as a whole, when it comes to sex education. I heard you when you were saying and y'all, these are the sort of topics that Vernon discusses on his podcast.So in this, during this conversation, we're kind of giving you a little appetizer, you know, what you'll find over on his show. And so I heard you saying that society failed us. I mean, shit, you know, in terms of the sex education and stuff like that, and what it made me think of, cuz you were saying like you weren't taught like, you know how to, Hey, you know how a bottom is [00:36:00] supposed to prepare for sex.And so I, and I just extend that to everything. So. Like in the eighth of grade, I think we had like a sex education class, a couple of videos it's insufficient. See sex education is something that you can't just sit down and tell your kids, this is a condom. This is a Dick. This is a pussy, good luck with that.It has to be something that's like ongoing. You know, we are gonna have this initial conversation when you're about five years old about sex, because sex is everywhere. And then you're gonna come back and revisit that in a, in a little matter of time. And you're gonna leave that door open so that that kid can come back to you when the dicks start to get hard and the pussy start bleeding and everything like that.And you so that they can come back and ask more questions and ask more questions, then you're gonna initiate more. All throughout that child's life. And even once they're past 18, if they need to come and ask you something, they, they need to know that that door is [00:37:00] always open because if you don't teach them, then just like you, porn will.Then I learned about sex from porn, real sex, red shoe diaries, Showtime Skinemax then gay.com, then grinder, then Scruff, you know, and then, you know, or as Madonna said, you know, you get your education from your lovers and so, and they had, they got their own agenda, you know, when they're hanging out with us and stuff like that.And it's not really to make us smarter. It's the bust of fucking nut mm-hmm . And so and so, no, I didn't know about sexual health. I bought him a lot, so I didn't know how to clean my asshole out. You know, I didn't know what an animal was or anything like that. And so, so all, so I don't know. What do you have to say about douching?Let's talk about, let's talk about cleaning out assholes and bottoms, preparing for sex tops. You know, you, all you need is [00:38:00] spit in your hard Dick and you good to go. So Vernon: don't spit loop. Okay.First lubrication always use Lu, always use Lu. Oh my God. You use Lu. I almost like De'Vannon: it. RoughVernon: but I, I, I will say in terms, cause you know, ive, I've seen the videos about you know, if you get the douche and you put your own waters and stuff like that, it can, you know, add fragrance and whatnot to your to your asshole and whatnot. I'm just of the mindset. Just get a fucking, ENMA put that shit up there.Do what you need to do quick flush and it's all good. Make sure you bathe and whatnot. Oh, this is another tip. Like in terms of sexual experience, if you have a partner who likes fragrances and whatnot is utilizing those fragrances on your body, as well as any kind of flavored [00:39:00] lubes too, so that, you know, they can enjoy the taste while they're down there too.You know, even though they already, they, they already like what it tastes like, add some extra flavor shock 'em motherfucker. But you know, like for, for me, I, I would just prefer like a little quick and it doesn't like the process for that like what is it? Fleet? Yeah, a fleet 30 minutes or so you don't have to worry about adding too much water it literally just.Flushes you out and that's all you need. When you do use like a douche and you do add like fragrances and essential oils, all of that. To the mix. You have to understand exactly what those oils do to your body. Are they even meant to be on internal for internal use? [00:40:00] And if you out here putting the wrong essential oils in your asshole, you gonna be burned.It likeit's not supposed to be there for a reason. like, if anything, okay. If I'm going to try my best to do something like that, let me just chop up some apples. Put some, a little bit of orange juice up in there and then see what happens. It's no, don't do, please not put orange juice. That's citrus. Let's go to burn.Do not do that. Please not put citrus in your asshole. oh God. But cause the De'Vannon: anal, well y'all the anal canal is a very, what we might call a. It's a thin, like what we might, we may call a OUS sort of tissue it tears easy. It's very thin. It's not tough. Like the inside of your asshole is not tough. Like say like the skin on your arm, on your thigh, on your chest.Mm-hmm . And so [00:41:00] you have to be very, very careful. That's why people shove drugs up their ass because it'll get through to their Dr. Bloodstream quick, because it's kind of, kind of similar to under your tongue. You know, it's very wet all the time. It's very, it's just very soft and pliable. So you wanna respect the whole, you know, cause you want it to be around, you know, a lot longer for years for you to enjoy and everything like that.I don't use fragrances pretty much every man I've ever been with they who really, who really loves them a nice ass. You know, they really like the natural odors of it and stuff like that because your body emits what's called like pheromones through your sweat glands and stuff like that, which don't carry an odor with them.But it turns on people, it turns on, you know, men are drawn to those pheromones, like, you know, like, you know, like a dog chasing a tree, you know? [00:42:00] So I don't add fragrances, you know, I just keep it all on natural R right,Vernon: right. I'm with you there. Like you know, why you here? Solike, it, it is like, oh, when I, when I used to see those tips and tricks and whatnot, I'm why y'all are doing way too much. This is. This is way, way too much. And I'm like, even in my learning process of what to, and what, like, you know, the dos and don't, I'm just like, so you want me to do all of these things.And you're not even talking about the temperature of water when it comes to like a douche cuz you cannot have have it too high because that does two things burn the inside of your asshole, even if it's like on the warmer side of things which can also make you start to sweat because it, like you said, it is a very sensitive area.[00:43:00]So now you have a burning asshole. It's it's on fire, you filled with water and now you have to get that outta your body. And now you have to relax some and let your body naturally cool down before you can do anything. So it's like you, you have to really think about how you douche and what you put into your body.De'Vannon: And we're not trying to make this sound like a chore. It's fun to learn about yourself in this way. Mm-hmm , you know, you know, make it a fun thing, you know, go online, look at different douche bottles, animal bottles, stuff like that. If you have a partner, it can be like a whole fun, fun thing you can shop for the shit together can get different colors.You can't, you can totally get the flavors that what you want. And Hey, if you try some shit or you try it one way and it don't work. That's cool, boo. Try it again. Mm-hmm Vernon: mm-hmm shop around, customize it. De'Vannon: you know, [00:44:00] and look sometimes me and my partner, sometimes I don't do, sometimes we just go all our natural and if we find something down there, we do some usually we don't.But if we do, it's not a big deal. Some men. I've had some men who did not want me to clean out all the way. Some men get into a little bit of shit. Now they like a little scat, you know, some freak out over and look don't ever let anybody bottom shame you. If you get shit on a Dick, it just happens. Shit's supposed to be down there.Right. You know, we don't do the bottom shaming, you know? Well, since I mention it, let's talk about the bottom SHA look Vernon: again, you know, why the fuck you came here? Like, you know that you're dealing with an asshole. How are you shocked if there's shit like , doesn't like, even, even if you are cleaning out and whatnot and you flushed out your system, look, things happen.Shit happens. Okay. It, it is like, why are you upset? Why are you upset? I [00:45:00] literally have some, some dude who was like he, I, I was like, oh, I just, he wasn't to hook up. And I wasn't really doing anything that day. I had a, a very open day wasn't looking for sex, but, you know, I was like, okay, you know, you cute.I, I I'm okay with adding you to my body count. So I was like, okay, I, I just need to get ready. And he literally asked the question, what do you mean by get ready? Well, one, I need to shower. I also need to clean out, you know, get the shit out. And he was like, well, I just used the word clean out. He's like, okay, what do you mean clean out?I have to do that means shit and all this other stuff. And when I said that he was like, Ew, you wouldn't have to tell me that. I was like, but you just asked, like, I, I used colorful language to avoid saying that. And now you're asking, and now you turned off because you're coming over here to fuck me.And you're shocked that I will have to take a shit in order for you to fuck me. Like. [00:46:00] What the math is hardly ever matting with people these days. like I, people crazy. De'Vannon: So we wanna deal with people who have a realistic expectation. So it is, it doesn't make you more of a man or anything like that to be out of touch with what the people you want to have.Sexual relations are going through. Mm-hmm so like a man who's gonna get freaked out over a bloody vagina, or just take a very hands off approach to understanding the period process and the menstrual process. I don't, I don't think you're more of a man. You're just an uneducated mm-hmm dude. you just don't know what the fuck's going on.Right. And I mean, if anything, it might make you fuck better. If you understand the holes better that you like to plow around in, you know, You know, just get some head knowledge on it and you [00:47:00] got those, those guys out there and they got a lot of mating to do when they trip out about either a bloody vagina or a, or a dirty, shitty asshole.Now, look, I, everyone knows I'm not a gold star gay I've had sex with women. I've I've, I've taken Dick from probably 10,000 different men in his life. Like, no, Joe, I probably only top 10. Because I don't, you know, I just prefer, you know, to be pumped full of calm on most nights and so , and so, but I, but for the few women I've slept with, I've had blood on my Dick before and for the few guys I've topped, I've gotten shit on my Dick before and we just kept on fucking I'm like, I'm here now.It is what it is. Vernon: this nut is trying to get busted. So like, that's the craziest thing to me. Like why, why are you so uncomfortable? Like me, I, I do identify as bisexual. And I playing and pussy is fun. Like it's, it's it's if you're [00:48:00] going to be there, enjoy it. Like like, how are you someone who prefers to be with some of a Volvo owner owning person and not be comfortable with knowing how it operates.Like if you're not tracking your partners cycle, Then you're not doing your job properly. You're not trying to engage with them on all the levels that they, you know, want to be engaged in not saying that you have to, but at least be willing to understand that science and how that works with your partner.Even when it comes to homosexual or gay relationships, anything dealing with anal, knowing how that process worked, how they tend to clean themselves. I, what they diet looks like whenever they are probably going to be bottoming for you. Like, even with my past relationship, I made it an effort to have my partner douche so that he understands, this is what I go through.If I, if we're going to like, fuck , it's not like, oh, [00:49:00] I'm horny, let's have sex. No, I'm going, it's going to take some time. It's going take development. And if you're not willing to wait in that anticipation for that to happen, then you might as well not be here. I De'Vannon: know that's right now. You said something interesting to me.In terms of tracking your partner's period. I never dated a girl for long enough to get well, shit who I was. Yeah, fuck. I never dated a girl long enough to to get that close with her. So in, so in a male, female relationship, that's brilliant, you know, to be that close to your girl, to know when she's gonna be ovulating and everything like that.So you could almost like anticipate her mood to some extent, you know, mm-hmm then you won't be shocked, you know, when cramps started or she's a little cranky cuz you, you know, acting like it's not gonna happen every month. It's a very realistic. And sensible and so minded approach Vernon: there, well, even understanding their birth [00:50:00] control method, all of that, you should know that as a partner, you should know how that has impacted them.So you can understand how, okay, this is why they're having a mood swing is because they're on their their birth control. And at this point they will be having the cycle. So there's a lot of hormones going around. So let me give them their space. De'Vannon: So you preaching now. So since we talk about dicks and pussies and assholes and all of this, I wanna, I wanna talk about sexually transmitted infections.This is some, and again, these topics are, are the topics that Vernon covers on his show and his book and everything like that. And since it is pride month, it seems like there's been an increase in talk of gay health in particular. I guess cuz the world's just [00:51:00] getting sicker, you know, we know what new virus is coming out, like as frequently as they are.Let's see, how shall I start this? Well, let me tell everyone all the sexually transmitted diseases that I've ever had and then we'll go from there. How does that sound burning? Vernon: That sounds good to me. De'Vannon: So HIV, I got close to getting full blown aids, but I started taking the medication before my T cell count dropped too low.I think it got down to somewhere around 500 ish so, yeah, that was back when I was about 127 pounds and homeless and strung out on meth. And so we've had HIV, almost full blown aids, hepatitis B. I've had anal wards. I've had syphilis bunch of times chlamydia, a bunch of times gonorrhea. A bunch of times had that one.That's it. I've got everything I said is the only one [00:52:00]Vernon: well, if you've got tested for HSV one, then we, we, even though they don't consider that STI, but I'm with you on that one.look you out here with bingo, but look, I have mental health. Bingo, you got St. Bingo winning our,De'Vannon: well, what can I say? I did what I didHS. So he mentioned HS V one, HSV, one, HPV human Papi virus. I don't know what the fuck the HSV stands for human Vernon: Herpes, De'Vannon: herpes simplex. So the thing is. Herpes the human path alone. Pathoma virus is a sort of thing that is passed from like skin to skin contact. So the moment you start kissing people, having sex with people, you are [00:53:00] thrown into this whole pot of HSV, HPV.Everybody has this on their skin. So if you take a test to Vernon's point, you probably will show positive for it. It's just the way it is. The thing is it does not manifest on everybody. And you've got at least 20, 30 different strands of the shit too. So it's not like it's a simple thing. I have incredibly sensitive skin.And so that's why I think the, an awards presented on me and, you know, I used to get cold sores a lot like that too. Not everybody will get cold sores. So what I'm saying is there could be a Dick. Who has the HPV virus on it, a kind that will generate an war and he might stick his Dick, hit the Vernons asshole and Vernon will not manifest an awards.He might stick his Dick into my asshole and I will manifest an war. It just depends on what's going on with Vernons body versus mine, his immune system, my immune [00:54:00] system, his natural chem, chemistry makeup, and so many different variables. A lot of which are unknown. The nurses and the doctors will just tell you, you know, we don't know why manifest on some people and not on others.So thing is, there's a little vaccine that I, which a bitch would've told me about when I was younger called HPV. All you got, it takes about a year. It's a three series shot. It takes a year to get the full vaccine, but that could have prevented me from getting an war and stuff like that. There's so many vaccines that I think are important to the gay community.And if we're not going to a good doctor, they're gonna miss it. Mm-hmm . So they should have given me hepatitis vaccines, HPV vaccines, and all of this shit back when they knew I was a gay ho, you know, and they knew I was a gay ho because I was in there getting tested of positive for everything else, you know?And so on the anal ward thing. So now [00:55:00] every year I have to go to the doctor for them to take a biopsy out of my asshole to cut a piece out because there's this thing called anal pap smears that people who bottom a lot need to get they take, and they do a culture like a swab around the asshole and check for any abnormal cells.Because if you're getting trauma down there a lot, or if you, you know, you've been exposed to HPV, whether you've had wart or not, you still need to get checked. So the test that I had done showed some abnormalities. So then with that, they, they went in and took a deeper look. They put me under anesthesia to see if they found any, to see if anything deeper in the anal canal was there.They found some pre-cancerous cells. Okay. Had they let the, had we let that go, that it would've turned into cancer. And then that would've been a whole other shit show. And that has happened to people. And a lot of doctors missed this on people who have a lot of anal sex. And [00:56:00] this goes for straight people too.Now you got straight guys out there who like to get fucked in the ass by plastic dicks. And sometimes by real dicks. And you have women out there who like to get fucked in the ass, you gotta get your ass, whole checked people. And so, so every year now I go, I call it my anal rejuvenation. Retreat every year ago.I like that. I like that. They put me under and they chop the piece out. They examine it to be sure. You know, no nothing's going on and then we stay and then we stay on top of it. That way I've talked for long enough, but I had to go ahead and tell people about my assholes. So what do you think about anal Warz and the HPV shot and everything?see Vernon: I didn't even know about the HPV shot, so that, that going, I need to like, go see about some stuff, but even like going back to something that you said earlier because you said it's probably month and, you know, that's when you really get the notices about [00:57:00] getting tested and all this other stuff.And I really hate that so much because we link being, getting tested on a regular basis for HIV, STIs, and all the STIs during pride month. But we do not have the same messaging throughout the year. We link it to. Homosexuality all the time. We link it to the LGBTQ plus community all the time. When it impacts all of us, this is some marketing that's supposed to be going year round to let people know, Hey, make sure you get tested, make sure you do get tested for all of these things.It's going back to the sexual health. Like even whenever I go to, so I had an incident at the beginning of the year where someone stealed me, meaning I thought they had a condom on and they did not have a condom on. So I had to go get tested. I had to go on on pep just to make sure I don't contract any diseases that this person who has, if they do have any [00:58:00] in.Even in those meetings, how the people cuz I, I prefer to always have sex with the condom oil. And because of that, I don't have to use prep or anything like that. But meeting with the doctors, they're just trying so heavily to push prep, like make sure you do take this. This is going to be something beneficial to you.And I'm like, okay, you do not even realize that the fact that I'm here is because I was sexually assaulted by somebody that you are so ready to push this medicine on me to me that what you're telling me is that I should be taking this on a regular basis because guess what? That's probably gonna happen again, that someone's going to violate you.So you might as well already have the protection to prevent it. And I'm like that shouldn't be what you're telling me in this moment. Like that, that is how a lot of our medical system is. It's like, okay, we're going to not really educate you on [00:59:00] all the things about sexual health, but Hey, we got this medicine that's for you, even in that moment with you, knowing that I am a person who do participate in anal sex that I am about why aren't you let me know about, you know, the HPV shot that I can possibly have just in case something like that happens.Why is it always just the prep side of things? Why are, are aren't we telling heterosexual people that, you know, you have access to pep, you have access to prep that you have all of these diseases that might impact you. We don't educate women on HPV and how common that is for men to have that and transferred over to women.We don't educate people that the majority of society actually has HPV already, like. These are the conversations that is often lacking outside of, you know, June. And when it is June, it's only focusing on the queer community. It's [01:00:00] like all these other people, you wanna focus on the minority of us as though we are the, the bringers of all sexual diseases, which is not the case.De'Vannon: Okay. So I'm sorry, I'm sorry that, that sexual violation experience happened to you. And I'm sorry that your doctors were a Dick, but a lot of many doctors just don't have a soul. And so that's why I recommend nurse practitioners to people because a good female nurse practitioner, I've never met a male nurse practitioner, but I'm sure they exist.Is I think better for you. They really, really take their time with you because they were a nurse first. Now they have the same, they can prescribe medication like a doctor. They have nurses that work for them. And it's just like talking to a doctor except that they may not be in charge of the clinic. But so I see a nurse practitioner best medical care I've ever had in my life.She's the one who gave, given me [01:01:00] all these vaccines, who, who caught the thing in my asshole and everything like that, you know, she's not looking at me like just, you know, some gay filthy disease, Mong girl setting in her office. You know, she's looking at me like her child, you know, the males that I've had, you know, they just wanted to get me and get me out.He didn't wanna talk about assholes and what's going in and out of them and stuff. You know, these doctors are uncomfortable with us. and probably with themselves too, and we don't need that. So if you're unhappy with the medical care, you're getting fucking go somewhere else. Sure. If you can and, and try and ask around for a nurse practitioner, I didn't know that things existed until, you know, you know, you know, once I moved back here to Louisiana from Texas, so Vernon: Texas , De'Vannon: I don't live in Texas anymore.Oh my God. It just Vernon: sure. I could never, I have, I have people I wanna visit in that state, but I could not live there. I can't even one, if I even moved [01:02:00] to Texas with everything I have right now, I will go to jail because one, I, I, I'm already outside of their limit for how many sex toys you can have in the state, De'Vannon: they have a sex toy Vernon: limit.Yes. I think it's six. You cannot own more than six toys in the state of Tennessee. I mean, in the state of Texas, but you could have as many guns as you.De'Vannon: I'll just let that sink in. that reminds me when I was an air force recruiter and I had this thick ass book of regulations about all the reasons why a person can't join the air force. And there was actually, there was actually a rule in there that if someone had participated in orgys in three ways, then they were considered to have character that was unfit to serve in the United States air force.And I never told that to anybody and I, but I thought to [01:03:00] myself, who, who in the actual fuck sat down somewhere and thought about this deep about what the hell somebody is doing in their bedroom, how that can translate into whether or not, you know, how to fix an aircraft. What in the fuck does that one have to do with the other and who thought about it?The same other fuckers who wanna control us through religion? The same other fuckers who want to control us through politics. There are people in this world who set around and think this hard about what people are doing in their own homes. It's so , Vernon: I, I just learned, I can't draw in the air force. That's I'm trying to let that sit in.De'Vannon: as a recruiter, I never lied to my recruits, but I lied to the air force religiously by the things that my recruits had done, because it, in my [01:04:00] opinion, it was none of their fucking business. If they'd done, done all kinds of meth and heroin and weed. Okay. If they're, if they're not still doing it, then let them go.But you let the air force tell it, if you ever did meth or heroin or LS D that's like a, you can't come in. I'm like, okay, if this is not in they system, I just, I told my recruits to just lie. Vernon: That that's like most of the people I see who are lawyers that I not the ones that I personally know, but the stories I know of, of some people, I'm just like you're out here pushing these certain laws about drugs.And were you COPD out whereyou at De'Vannon: that party?OK. Okay. But go off people, people do it all the time. Every. It's a psychological thing. People like to try to restrict you [01:05:00] from doing the things that they're doing, because people have bad mental health and the people who make the laws and the people who run churches and stuff like that. Don't have to qualify and pass mental health examinations to have these positions.They just have to suck the right Dick have gone to the right school or some shit like that, but they don't have to be mentally qualified. Vernon: Child. I just wanna know what's the right dig to make sure that all my bills is paid. That's that's all I wanna know, like long as you cover that and you also add 500,000 on the books.We good. I only doing it once, because look, I'm not trying to suck your Dick on a regular basis. Oh, you can't pay me enough of that. I'm sorry, but just that one time I, I made sure I give you $500,000 service. That's all I know. De'Vannon: your lips gonna be laced with platinum Vernon: look gold. The fuck. Well, actually platinum's a little bit more expensive.You know what? Yeah, we go. You're right. You're right.[01:06:00]alright. De'Vannon: And so, and so, all right. So since we're talking about Texas and we'll begin to wrap it up, With with, with this, we, I wanted to ask you about, so y'all, we're gonna have this, this fine feisty beast man right here. Ooh, Vernon: beast, man. Yes. Had to say beast, man. Now I'm thinking of X man and beast man was still fine the next man.So in a storm, Chuck. Okay. I'm good. I'm gonna get you at blue. De'Vannon: So, you know,Vernon: it's big, you know, it's big. De'Vannon: It's got, so we're gonna have him back on if, to talk about his book, about, you know, the, the essential guy to being Ahoe. There was a port in there where you were [01:07:00] drawing a comparison between like obesity and abortion that I'm gonna ask you about in a minute, just to give a little teaser of the flavor of the book.But before we transition to that and close out, I wanted to say a couple of things. I wanna jump back for a second to about how we were talking about how it's June and how they focus on all the diseases and shit. When the spotlight is on the gay people. I just wanna remind the world just how kinky straight people are too, and how there's not really that many core straight people left.If ever there were, I've taken so much Dick from straight married men. Now, look, I'm not a thought anymore. I don't take any pride in being that whole over there. No more. That's what thought stands for. But there was a time in my youth where I was like, oh, well, I ain't my fault a bitch. And I do what she supposed to be doing.Come on over here and get this busty. But you know, I don't fuck marry men anymore, but all they, but I've had sex with so many married men is unreal, straight [01:08:00] acting masculine, married men. Nobody could know. So women. Try to fuck their gay friends. I've had this happen too. and you have all kinds of people who do not identify as anything other than straight, who seem to always find themselves in the company of non straight people trying to do shit.And they don't consider themselves not straight. I don't know. I mean, just cuz you have sexual experiences with people who are not straight, doesn't make you anything other than straight, but it makes you a freak for damn show. And so what I'm saying is the diseases. You know, it can affect us all because people who identify as straight, still like to have experiences that are not straight.And so I just wanted to remind people like that and let you know, it's not just men, the women like to get freaky Dey too. and the diseases go both ways. So yeah, straight people should be using prep and everything else. The messaging should be the same to the [01:09:00] whole world all the time. Not just to the gay people in June mm-hmmSo I wanted you to explain to people how your podcast, how the, the question structure is. Cause you're very categorized and you're very organized. So just kind of break that down for people. Vernon: So at, at first we all myself and my guests will meet up and we'll just talk about the topics that they chose.So I'm a very consent forward person. I don't invite people onto the podcast to ask them to discuss a specific topic. I let my guests choose whatever they want to, and then we'll meet, we'll discuss, okay. Why did you choose this one topic? And we'll, and within that conversation, I might get inspired by something.And I jot that down because that would be something that will be great to dig deeper into and then ask reflective questions during that time, too, so that we both can grow that conversation a little bit more. And that helps guide the episode. And while [01:10:00] we're actually recording and sit down and talking about things, I'll have that up so that we can still keep structure within the show.But we welcome tangents because that is what a true conversation is. A true conversation is something about. It's, it's having those 10 tangential conversations going into different things, unrelated to what you originally was talking about, and then somehow finding your way all the way back to that point.Regardless of how far left you went or how far right you went, you're just going through the motions. You're going through the flow of every day, everyday life, essentially. So that's pretty much how everything is structured. We also have our what is the word? Safe word of the show too.For any conversation that is too uncomfortable again, consent forward. And that safe word is red light disco. We haven't had to use it yet [01:11:00] but it is still there. One of my friends, she tried to us

I asked YOU what you wanted to know from our relationship coaches. In this episode we dive into your questions. From how to have difficult conversations, different libidos and when is it right to end a relationship! Through coaching, online programs, and tantra, Asa Baav and David Chambers facilitate deep emotional, sexual, and spiritual transformations and guide those yearning to create healthy, enriching, and passionate romantic relationships with themselves and others. As a couple, they truly live their work and embody their teachings through raw communication, passionate love, and hunger for inner work as they grow as individuals and together.Find Asa and David: @coachwithasa @theauthenticmanJoin the Love High Community https://www.patreon.com/lovehighFind me on Instagram @FlorenceBarkWHAT IS LOVE HIGH?In this podcast I'm exploring our relationship with love, why from a young age we've been led to believe we need another person to be whole, why so many people are facing commitment issues with modern dating, what a healthy relationship is and how do we find ourselves within a world obsessed with LOVE. Presented by Florence Bark from the award winning F**ks Given PodcastMusic by Jaja Kisses and VeyynsLove High Podcast was originally 'How To Heal a Heartbreak' - Go to series 1 to heal your heart or find advice for break ups.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

David Chambers Discusses Growth at Nebraska Furniture Mart and the NFA Meeting in Vail, Colorado by Floor Focus Magazine

The invasion in Ukraine begins, and of course Putin has a fictional justification for it. We also discuss inflation and what's driving high rent costs, and some new moves that might make college more affordable. That and more on tonight's #RickShow Our guests tonight are:Journalist Michael Sainato of The GuardianFormer GOP Congressman Bob NeyJamie Roberts & David Chambers of The Association of Pennsylvania State College & University FacultiesCall-in at 1-866-416-RICK (7425) to join the show.Want more #RickShow? Go to https://www.thericksmithshow.comThe Rick Smith Show streams live every weeknight from 9p-11p EST on YouTube & Twitch TV, and the show runs every night in prime time on Free Speech TV starting in January 2022. Be sure to add the FSTV channel on Apple TV, Amazon Fire TV, Roku, on the FSTV iOS app, or find it in the regular channel lineup on DirecTV or Dish.Radio listeners – You can find us in most major markets, including New York City on WBAI 99.5 FM, Los Angeles on KPFK 90.7 FM, Chicago on WCPT AM 820, Columbus on 98.3/92.7 FM, Minneapolis on AM950, and many others. Check your local listings.Questions or comments? Email Rick@thericksmithshow.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The invasion in Ukraine begins, and of course Putin has a fictional justification for it. We also discuss inflation and what's driving high rent costs, and some new moves that might make college more affordable. That and more on tonight's #RickShow Our guests tonight are:Journalist Michael Sainato of The GuardianFormer GOP Congressman Bob NeyJamie Roberts & David Chambers of The Association of Pennsylvania State College & University FacultiesCall-in at 1-866-416-RICK (7425) to join the show.Want more #RickShow? Go to https://www.thericksmithshow.comThe Rick Smith Show streams live every weeknight from 9p-11p EST on YouTube & Twitch TV, and the show runs every night in prime time on Free Speech TV starting in January 2022. Be sure to add the FSTV channel on Apple TV, Amazon Fire TV, Roku, on the FSTV iOS app, or find it in the regular channel lineup on DirecTV or Dish.Radio listeners – You can find us in most major markets, including New York City on WBAI 99.5 FM, Los Angeles on KPFK 90.7 FM, Chicago on WCPT AM 820, Columbus on 98.3/92.7 FM, Minneapolis on AM950, and many others. Check your local listings.Questions or comments? Email Rick@thericksmithshow.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The invasion in Ukraine begins, and of course Putin has a fictional justification for it. We also discuss inflation and what's driving high rent costs, and some new moves that might make college more affordable. That and more on tonight's #RickShow Our guests tonight are:Journalist Michael Sainato of The GuardianFormer GOP Congressman Bob NeyJamie Roberts & David Chambers of The Association of Pennsylvania State College & University FacultiesCall-in at 1-866-416-RICK (7425) to join the show.Want more #RickShow? Go to https://www.thericksmithshow.comThe Rick Smith Show streams live every weeknight from 9p-11p EST on YouTube & Twitch TV, and the show runs every night in prime time on Free Speech TV starting in January 2022. Be sure to add the FSTV channel on Apple TV, Amazon Fire TV, Roku, on the FSTV iOS app, or find it in the regular channel lineup on DirecTV or Dish.Radio listeners – You can find us in most major markets, including New York City on WBAI 99.5 FM, Los Angeles on KPFK 90.7 FM, Chicago on WCPT AM 820, Columbus on 98.3/92.7 FM, Minneapolis on AM950, and many others. Check your local listings.Questions or comments? Email Rick@thericksmithshow.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dating can be tough for a lot of guys. When you are not getting the results you want, the frustration and confusion can lead some of us to look for answers in negative places. In this episode of the Himprovement Podcast, I spoke with David Chambers, who is a dating coach and the founder of The Authentic Man, where he helps guys to find the answers to their dating issues while also helping them to become the best men they can be. Listen to learn more. IG:@kamaniar1 YouTube: https://youtu.be/dsapPzEDZZo Find David: @theauthenticman_ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/himprovement/message

INTRODUCTION:My guest today is all the way from the UK and he is helping men build confidence, become their true selves, last longer in bed and masturbate like they mean it! His name is David Chambers and he is the host of The Authentic Man Podcast and an accomplished Dating & Intimacy coach. This man is a master of mindfulness and tantric practices and it was a real pleasure to talk about sex with him on my show.  INCLUDED IN THIS EPISODE (But not limited to):·      Expert Advice From A Dating Coach ·      Mindful Masturbation·      Secrets To Men Lasting Longer In Bed·      Self-Love & Self-Mastery Defined·      Why Some Men Sleep With LOTS Of Women·      Why Men STOP Sleeping With LOTS Of Women·      How The Subconscious Mind Rules The Conscious Mind·      Having Sex To Fill Emotional Voids·      Men And The Fear Of Rejection·      Avoiding Commitment·      Communication Barriers During Sex·      Toxic Masculinity CONNECT WITH DAVID:Website & Courses: https://www.theauthenticman.netPodcast: https://www.theauthenticman.net/podcastTwitter: https://twitter.com/iamauthenticmanFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/IAmTheAuthenticManInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theauthenticman_/ DE'VANNON'S RECOMMENDATIONS:·      Pray Away Documentary (NETFLIX)       - https://www.netflix.com/title/81040370       - TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk_CqGVfxEs SDJ MEMBERSHIP (FULL EPISODES):·      $2.99 per month.·      Donate any amount for 30 days of access.·      $25 per year.https://www.sexdrugsandjesus.com/membership-account/membership-levels/ TRANSCRIPT:You're listening to the sex drugs and Jesus podcast, where we discuss whatever the fuck we want to. And yes, we can put sex and drugs and Jesus all in the same bed and still be all right. At the end of the day, my name is De'Vannon and I'll be interviewing guests from every corner of this world. As we dig into topics that are too risky for the morning show, as we strive to help you understand what's really going on in your.There was nothing on the table and we've got a lot to talk about. So let's dive right into this episode.De'Vannon: My guest today is all the way from the UK. And he is helping them build confidence, become their true selves last longer in bed and masturbate. Like they mean it, baby yassss!!! His name is David Chambers and he is the host of the authentic man podcast. And he's also an accomplished dating and intimacy coach as well.This man is a master of mindfulness and tantric practices, and it was a [00:01:00] real pleasure to talk about sex with him on my show.Hello, David, the authentic man man's man. How are you doing today? David: I'm feeling, um, I'm feeling really, really kind of grounded and calm. I just, uh, just before we go on about an hour ago, I was laying on a massage table with my Reiki master doing a magic. So I'm now feeling stupid, like relaxed and said, so I'm really feeling, oh De'Vannon: shit, that's how you get ready for, uh, uh, for a fucking interview.You get the Reiki master over there. You get all of this in the house. David: Yeah. Then all the energy get relaxed, save big, De'Vannon: but see that's how your, your podcast intake, man, it starts off that way. Like your voice is so like low and calm. You've got like the massage music going and you're already getting people into the state of hypnosis before you [00:02:00] even much started talking about.What'd he really came there to talk about that day.David: Nevermind. De'Vannon: Okay. So David, tell us about how you got started on the path of being a dating coach. Talk to us about your history and your struggles and everything that led to that path.David: Yeah. Yeah. That's a good question. Um, I, uh, about, um, Let's say 15 years ago, uh, you know, you're young 20 something year old, man. And I was just not as happy with my day in life as I want it to be, you know, like many of us, you know, I'm sure I was 20 odd years old. I was kind of up and coming in my career and my tech career.And I was looking to expand my life and expand my horizons and do new things. And I was finding myself, going to the bars and clubs and meet women who they weren't really interested in. The sort of things I was interested in. They wanted to, you know, go to bars and clubs and maybe buy some handbags and [00:03:00] shoes and holiday and, you know, get drunk, that sort of thing.And I was feeling a little bit tired of that. I felt like I was growing out of that a little bit and I wanted to travel. I wanted to, you know, um, dive into new cultures, try new experiences, do things that push my comfort zone. So I was a bit frustrated with that. I started Googling one night as you do. Um, and I came across a book that promise to teach a man, you know, how to, to, to talk to women, how to talk to a higher quality women.I guess the phrase would have been in those days and a book was the game. Um, so like many amount at that time I picked up, I'd read it, cover to cover in a few weeks. Um, and I, I use some of the techniques. I definitely did. It went out and you know, some of the lines, you know, some of the first pickup, the kind of introductory lines as I probably call them is like, got me.Help me with confidence a lot of the time. So then I, I ended up at a bootcamp and at the end of that boot camp, I turned to the teacher, the head teacher, they had the guy who was running it and said, Hey, I think I could teach this [00:04:00] stuff, you know, on the bootcamp. He said, yeah, I agree. And that kind of started a path of, for about year and a half, doing that on the side, as well as working in my tech job.And during that year and a half, I started to develop to move away from a lot of the stuff that was in the game. I wasn't really that keen on a lot of what was in there to start with, but I started to really develop this idea of like having fun, you know, that, that mystery thing that a lot of men struggle with, especially when they get into a club, like having a good time, having fun with people like smiling, joking, laughing, uh, being in the moment being, you know, open and honest and, and so forth.So I really got into that. And then I got kind of fed up with that whole scene, that whole kind of men trying to pick up women. It become, I started to see there was a really dark side coming across students who didn't love. They didn't love meeting women. They just wanted to take advantage of them. And I didn't sit well with me, cause my, my point of view has been like a deep love and reverence for women.You know, I grew up, I've got four, four sisters sometimes I forget. Um, I've got four sisters, um, and I grew [00:05:00] up with them. So I really have a love for women. So I spent many years after that, just learning about myself, you know, self-dependent work, going to workshops, going to courses, you know, week-long things, things like that even went to a Buddhist monastery to stay for a week, uh, one year just to, you know, learn more about me and I, I had a partner.I was with fast forward a few years from there. Uh, we were together for about four years or we broke up when I was in Bolivia. We were traveling around the world. We traveled all fruit, India Southeast Asia flew over to south America to see the Olympics and broke up in a, in a hotel room in Bolivia, in a little town called.And it all really, for me, stemmed from the idea. And the thing that I struggled with was just speaking about my feelings and emotions and listening to her about taking it personally and making it all about me and what I've done wrong. So what that kind of created was a cycle where I didn't say how I felt, because I didn't want to upset her because I didn't want her to be acting for me.You have to deal with her [00:06:00] emotional reaction. So I was balling up all these feelings, all these desires, things that I wanted, and it just caused the breakdown of a relationship slowly over a year. And I really vowed to myself. Then I said, I'm not going to let it happen again. I don't want that to happen again.So I went on a bit of a journey after that. I kept traveling for about six months, discipline medicine did a lot of meeting new people, a lot of just open Hyde conversation. Um, and then after that I came back to London, uh, a friend of mine, uh, the guy who used to run the podcast with AMAT, he was like, let's do something.Well, this thing, let me, she's like, you know, there's so much data on, is this. Do this, say this where this then say this, then do this and then trick her into doing this. He was like, but we know that doesn't work. Long-term we know that that's very superficial and it doesn't build beautiful relationships.So the podcast was born, uh, originally it was called your thing, dating series, um, spending about day. And you know, in the last few months I've expanded it into and change the name to the authentic man has decided to step away [00:07:00] around Christmas time. So this has all led to a journey of like self-learning self-development growth.Um, Coming into myself, maturing more than anything. And a couple, there's a nother side that runs alongside, this is my love of sex, sexuality, tantra, and things like that. That I've also brought into my work. So now I'm, you know, doing everything from running workshops about masturbation, for play, a tantra for couples, tantric, massage,and the like. So it's really a combination and helped me grow and move forward. So out of my own pain, you know, I've turned this as I often say, your pain can become your gold. And for me, that's really been, been true for me. De'Vannon: Excellent breakdown of you. And I love how you have the small beginnings, as they say, as the Lord says in the Hebrew Bible to despise not the day of small beginnings and, you know, and you came from and where the, where there anybody out there believes in God or not is, you know, a thing, but it's just, it's [00:08:00] just good fucking sense, you know, to despise small beginnings, you know, he didn't get visited.David didn't get discouraged. And you know, he started, you know, he had his heart broken, he went through some shit, uh, you know, he started off helping somebody else and now he's become the guru himself. Now your website is absolutely fantastic. The authentic man.net. And because it's really like a resource and a hub, I love when websites are like that.So it's almost like, you know, Creative website. And you just happen to have some podcast episodes on there because you got everything else too. You got your blog going, you got courses, you design, you got workshop videos coming up and stuff like that. And so we're going to talk all about that in my show notes that I'm going to design for you, but I love it.It's a resource and men can go to you and find out how to become a better man. Um, I wanted to, so I was listening to one of your [00:09:00] podcasts episodes. And you said, uh, an interesting thing about self love. And I wanted to talk about self love, um, up front, because I think a lot of the work you do has that infused.I think all the work you do has used in it. You say something like self love is not always among ourselves. Uh, yeah. And, um, sometimes it requires discipline and self-mastery, which is something else that I came across a lot when I was researching you. So tell us what is self love and self mastery what's in not getting confused with.David: Hmm. I think. Hmm. Hmm. Good question. So, so self love to me is in a real nutshell, and I think for this is it's sometimes I just work with, see what comes up for me in the moment is like, you know, all the love we give to other people, right? For a lot of us, like, or the love that we want from other people, like maybe you want a boyfriend or a girlfriend who's gonna, you know, [00:10:00] take you out for dinner.Who's going to give you foot mass artist. Who's going to cook for you, who is going to, you know, tell you how beautiful you look and you know, all those things give that to you. That is, to me the real basics of self-love all the things you want from outside of you that you crave externally, right? You crave the validation, you crave the love, the feeding, the warmth, give that to yourself on a daily basis every day in some way, you know, like it, as I said before I came here today, I took myself and I went and got some Reiki for my Reiki master.And it's like, that's an act of self love, you know, because I'm giving myself the relaxation and the joy that I love to give to other people. Right. And I give that to myself. It's an act of self-love and where self-discipline kind of comes in, is that when you've go things like, say going to the gym, Now going to the gym can be an act of self-love, right?Because maybe you've decided that, you know, you want [00:11:00] your body to look a certain way or you live in something. You want your body to look a certain way. Maybe you want your body to feel a certain way. You know, you want to feel a certain way in your body. So there's going to take that. You go to the gym or you go to yoga or you do some running or lattes or whatever exercise you choose to do, but you're also going to need some discipline infused into that, right.To keep going, because these sorts of things take discipline and where the self-mastery comes in for me is also looking at yourself and asking questions about who you are and how you feel and what's going on for you. So inside of the example of going to the gym, maybe there's days where you're like, I don't fancy it today.I don't want to go today. And actually I want to go to the cake shop and eat a whole massive cake. That's normally for four people. It could be an act of self love for you to go and eat that cake. And this is where, you know, it's not always easy to tell because if you've been going through. You know, three times a week for four years, and you've never missed a session.But inside of [00:12:00] that, that self-love is giving you what you really desire and need in that moment is to have some cake to sell yourself. You'll sell some love and just have something in you that feels good. Right. But if you are on the flip side of someone, who's been trying to go to the gym for three years and you've gone about four times, right?And it's a normal story for you to want this cake inside that moment, your axis of bluff is to crack your ass to the gym right now, the self-mastery comes in is when you have that for that is like, Hmm, I don't really want to go to the gym and you go, Hmm. What is underneath that for what's going on there?Well, what's my, is there a fear there? Is there a concern? Is there a worry, right. You know, for some of us, if it's like going to the gym, it's like with almost fearful sometimes. If we do this thing, we will change as a person. And how will the world react to me or my family? Not likely my friends, not like me.Will I be less accepted because I changed. Right. And that kind of often sits in quite an unconscious place. So self-mastery, to me, it's like to look at why you do things, why certain things keep happening to you and [00:13:00] why things have happened to in the past. De'Vannon: I think that's a beautiful breakdown. And when you were explaining about the cake and the gym, my mind went to, so, so I have a clothing store called down under apparel and I've, I've worked with models before, and these guys are like zero body fat, eight packs, you know, all of that sort of stuff.And the first photo shoot that I ever did, you know, they showed up with a bag of like jelly. And, um, and they were, and I was like, I couldn't understand, like, I don't get it. You look like that. What's your eating bad. This isn't fair, plain explain, you know, like, bro, we don't do this all the time, but you know, it was like, you know, they had been preparing for, for the photo shoot.So they had been going without, until now they were rewarding themselves with those coveted, just the wheat and everything like that. And you know, you will see the Olympic athletes that they got the Olympics going. Now, as soon as they're done with the Olympics, they're at, McDonald's [00:14:00] getting fast food and everything and all of that and you know exactly what, and that felt that'd probably be so great going into them.You know, they're listening to this and going. Yep. Yep. Yep. Amen. Amen. And amen. And, um, Okay. So I w I would like for you to tell me about like a client success story, of course we won't, we'll call him Joe or whatever the hell you feel like calling him. Now, look, I want something juicy. I want, I want a train wreck case.Somebody was a hot day, um, feisty mess. And then when you looked at him and thought, maybe I can't do nothing with this when I don't know, somebody mess up from the float up is what I want to hear about. And then how, how you help them turn that thing around. David: Mm. A lot of guys that come to me, they're not like in, in real messages, there's not just small tweaks that they need.Right. There's really small tweaks. [00:15:00] So as a client, I had to, not too long ago, he, he hadn't been on a date in a few years. He hadn't had any sort of physical activity to me De'Vannon: that sounded like a train wreck to me. You've put in a nicely, that's what I call messed up from the flow up. Now you say no physical activity.So we hadn't had no sex in like four years. And what you're saying, oh, that's a train wreck. I'm gonna be quiet. Go head on. I just want people to be clear, that's a train wreck. David: So, so yeah, after working for a few weeks together, um, you know, you've got to, to going to like some speed dang events. Right. But he was interested in, so he went to some speeding events and beforehand, you know, we've been talking about conversation, how to show up, how to be playful, how to, you know, be, be the character that he is.And, you know, he goes to the speeding event. I think he leaves there. I mean, he's got like four or [00:16:00] five matches. I think there was like maybe 10 women there, four or five matches. And for him, he was blown away, you know? Cause this was like he's before he's been on date for ages. Right. So now he's like, wait, that's four or five matches.This is a problem I've never had. I don't. We do, I do. I come up with and I was like, well, you can go out with all of them. Right. You know, you don't have to choose in this moment. You know, if you want to go out with them, go out all of them. Right. So there's one, one guy goes to see a few times. And um, I think he goes on a few dates with her and the one day we were talking and he's like, oh, you know, I feel like on the beach was pushing to come back to my place.And I was like, So, so what, what did he do? He was like, no, no, you know, I didn't think it was right, blah, blah, blah. And then we kind of unpack that, right. Because sometimes we have these ideas of what's not right and wrong. It's like, well, what did you want? What did she want? Right. And what was authentically, there was no manipulation about that.So a few days later, um, [00:17:00] he was messaging me in the morning was like, oh, you know, the girl's saying these sorts of things to me. And I was like, what's true for you? What would you really love? You know? And he's like, I'd love to give her a massage. And I was like, okay, cool. Well, you know, talk to her about that.So that evening she goes around to his place. And, uh, I remember being a bit panicked beforehand again, he called and was like, you know, what's going on? He was like, I'm worried, you know, maybe, you know, she doesn't really want that. Maybe this, maybe that. And I said, okay, what's true for you. And what do you sense on her?Right. There's the two things you just feed into those things. Right. Don't get too much into like how things have to be, because things don't have to be any way. And, um, so they get the girl came round and they spent the night together, you know, and they had a good time. So, you know, I was very happy about that.And obviously, you know, it's not always as about getting laid and having sex, but he, they had a really beautiful eating together, massage and stuff like that. And they, they both share some, some kinks as well. So they're able to explore that [00:18:00] swapping together. So that was really beautiful to, to hear. Um, I didn't turn it to relationship for him, but he started to enjoy dating.I think that was the most important thing actually with, for him was after that he started to date. He started to enjoy it. It's like to have fun when he dated. Right. And this is a big thing for all of us to go from just dating, being this chore. Like it's like a job, like it's work. So to go to Ashley, realize that things about connecting with new human beings, we should always be a beautiful expanse.De'Vannon: Man. You're like the best big brother ever. Like that is like, gosh, if I'd had somebody in my life had given me a relationship like that, like that relationship, advice like that when I was younger, maybe I wouldn't have turned into a ho. And, David: um, De'Vannon: but that is absolutely. Incredible because he went from no physical interaction.He was abstaining forward for all kinds of reasons. And then when he did finally do it, you walked him through the anxiety. You were there, you were truly [00:19:00] his coach. I've, I've played sports before. There's nothing like having like a good coach in your corner. So they make you feel like you can do things you ordered or you, you don't think you can.And then that was a pivotal moment from her, for him, because that imprinted upon him, his understanding a different way of being, and that's what it's all about. So you can go from being a train wreck to a super fast training and, uh, and you know, living your best life. I want you to go back to how you were saying, like, in your twenties, you were having, you know, a lot of meaningless sex and everything.A lot of guys are like fucking their way through town, you know, clocking talking girls left and right. And so you said you were seeking for a lot of validation from him, but you really didn't get any validation from it. So. What inclined you to think that as a man, you should be sleeping with a whole bunch of women.And then at what point did you realize that look, this isn't working. David: Yeah, yeah, no, it's a [00:20:00] beautiful question. So really poignant question, because I think it has to start with the fact that I didn't really have a father who was in my life. My dad was, he doesn't actually live that far from even now, but he's not much of a, a present person in my life.Right. He's he's not emotionally able to be with a child. He's not able to really nurture in any way. And I know it's not his fault. You know, I've really spoken to him about this to a certain degree about his upbringing and realize that it really was his, that was like completely absent as a human being.But they're physically, which I think sometimes it's almost worse because you see the person there and you kind of think this is how it should be or this how it shouldn't be, but they don't give you a decent example. So I grew up with a lack of like masculinity, uh, example in my life and all the men have like friends of my mom's friends.I could always look at these men and go, you're not the sort of man that I look up and I should look up to. I always knew I was always like, Nope, you're not sort of managed to look up to. So I didn't have anyone in my life to say, [00:21:00] this is how you be a man. Right. So I remember going to university. Women start to pay attention to me.So I was like, oh, you know, I'll sleep one. And then I was sleeping with two and then I would be really honest and be like, look, I don't want a girlfriend. I wanna, you know, I want to enjoy myself. And I would tell them like, you know, so no one was expecting, I wasn't lying about it. Right. It's especially at the start, it wasn't really crying about it.So then I was like, oh, this is fun. And then other guys are like, oh Dave, you're the man. But they don't usually say those words, but they, you know, you get a lot of man points from, from men. And then on the, another perverse turn of this is that when you are being with a lot of women, other women also become more attracted to you, right?Because they see you with other women and they, they kind of gravitate towards you. So you're in this kind of cycle. And this was for years where, you know, I would go in and out of relationships, but I'd just be like sleeping with a lot of women at any given time, maybe four or five women I'm meeting up with for a number of months.And in many ways it was very flattering and very [00:22:00] validating way of being a man and being a virile, you know, accomplished man, especially in the bedroom. There was a day. And I never forget this day. She was, it was about, probably about 10 years ago, 10, yeah, 10 and 10 and a half years ago. And I slept with this girl and I left them my bedroom.So in the place I'm in now, and I sat on my sofa, which is different in front of you. I'm seeing, and I had some biscuits in the hand and I was eating the biscuits. And at one point I finished the biscuits and I just sat there, staring at the wall and I kind of had my head in my hands and then I laid down and fell asleep on the sofa.Right. But what I was feeling there was this emptiness. I didn't really want to go back into the bedroom with the girl because there was no real connection with me and her. And I was just like, this is empty. You know, this is empty.I was like this isn't, this is empty and it's not making me feel good, but it's externally validating [00:23:00] me. And it's very easy to get very addicted to that external validation. Right. And even get quite addicted to the evacuation of being with a woman and ejaculating and touching them and holding them.Right. It could be quiet and addictive thing. If you've never look at the underlying feeling that's happening, that you're running away from. Because often as a man, if you're just constantly chasing sex, you're chasing the next woman or the next man. Right. You're chasing something, but what's behind you.What are you running away from? Right? This is, we often forget. This is like often we just running away from ourselves and our own feeling of loneliness or worthlessness or, or a desire for connection. And in that moment, I was like, I thought. And I've got like four women I could call up tomorrow and they'd all come to my house, you know, and I felt lonely in those moments.So I started to make changes. Then I started definitely to make changes then in it, you know, sometimes I would say, let's say necessary. I felt I was, there was a point where I worried I was a sex addict, you know, I've, I've been accused by a woman. I was seeing, she was just like, you have an addiction, you know, you don't need to be sleeping with four women.And I really fought [00:24:00] about that for a long time and it worried me. Um, but after that I was like, you know, I don't need to live like this. I don't need to just kind of for want of a better phrase, churn through women in that way. You know? So I kind of left those day behind and you know, there's a couple of times I flirted with that life a little bit, but I was still a lot more conscious of.Am I doing this because this is a really beautiful experience with someone who I'm really enjoying my time with, or am I doing this just because I'm running away from like, you know, looking at my own thoughts and feelings about my own loneliness or my own inadequacy. So, you know, that's that self-mastery pieces again, you know, it's looking at why you're doing something and understanding that instead of just denying it, De'Vannon: that's like how I learned in my, um, kept the therapy training when I got my certification and hypnosis, you know, so much of it revolved around understanding the why behind the why, how we can do things like on autopilot or for all of these great reasons.And the real reason behind it is embedded deep within our [00:25:00] subconscious and then have noses all about breaking through the conscious mind and getting to the root of problem that a lot of times as it is that our upbringing, everything. So a person may be having baby out there being. Or, um, maybe having problems in their relationship at work, all kinds of things.And it's because of something negative anchored in their self and their subconscious in which the subconscious, I think was like 78% of the brain or something like that. And I think the content was only like 12% of our members. I mean, shit, 88%. 12% for the conscious mind of our member directly. So most of what we are doing is being manipulated by experiences that we've had before, until we became up to that.And what you're doing is in that vein of work and your experiences speak to that. So you were able to basically coach yourself, you know, you know, you know, to go to a better state of thinking and [00:26:00] being now. You also said that you avoided commitment and it was due to a deep seated fear of rejection or of choosing the wrong woman.I really want you to talk about the rejection aspect because from my dealings with men and, and y'all have dealt with a lot of them in Monday, mama, no mama. No. Uh, I did. I did with you there too, but I was, I was fucking a whole lot of men when I was like in the military and you know, and all of that as a little bit different, you know, but still I was, you know, trying to fill a void for me.You know, my dad, my dad would refer me to administrate and you know, that wasn't gonna happen. And so, you know, where do you go from there? And now I'm in the military. I'm 17. Don't ask. Don't tell. So I can't really say. Good relationship. I'll get kicked out, but you know, Nick is readily available. So what you gonna do?And so, David: and so,[00:27:00] De'Vannon: and then I was in a college town. I had,I was like 19 and everything, the fire, the fire. And so, um, but a lot of men have this like rejection. I don't know if you would call it a complex or whatever. You know, these big, strong, handsome men are, you know, who a lot of us, a lot of us girls would say, you just, it's always Leah concern, you know, can do no wrong.But when they approach us, they can turn and we can sit and say, Such fear, you know, coming off of men who we didn't would not have put, looked at that way, unless he started acting that way. So where is this fear of rejection coming from? What is it? What did he do with it? [00:28:00] David: Yeah. Yeah. And as you put it, so whoa, like sometimes the men, they think of it, you know, for want of a better word, you can, they come over and you can feel that there's this fear of being rejected.And there's a perverse thing that happens, especially if we're talking about, you know, the, the initial approach where you go over to someone and you're afraid of being rejected. So you speak almost quite timidly. You're not committed to the, you don't feel committed to whatever you're saying. So the person can feel the lack of commitment, but feels.There's something off here. There's a lack of safety in some way. So they then respond in crime. Right? And then the person who's feeling the rejection feels the response that is a bit cagey isn't full-blooded and then experiences rejection, often ejects. That's a very common cycle that happens in a bar or club.For me, it was a bit deeper than that. It wasn't this about the original rejectionist around inside of relationship. Right? Like not being accepted as I was, the rejection of me is like [00:29:00] not being accepted. The fear for me was the BMI relationship and they get to know me and then they would reject me.Right. Which would cause me to want in many ways, it's like to hide certain things, not say certain things about who I was, because if they, if I show them all the bits and pieces that they like. Most of that, they're going to like, and then they can accept me as I am. But the problem inside of that is, is there's a self-rejection that's happening constantly, right?Which wears away at us because we are basically telling ourselves that there's parts of who we are that are bad and wrong and needs to be hidden from other people. And that people will not accept about us and that we don't accept those parts. So there's that city, a cycle of continuous self-rejection of ourselves.It actually makes us feel worse. And also we project that, that rejection on to other people assume that they're doing the same thing to us because ultimately we always see the world for a lens of how we see ourselves. So a lot of the, the, the fear of rejection, isn't it. [00:30:00] That we think of the people who are rejecting us really it's about, we are continually rejecting ourselves, right?So for me, that was just like constant. Like, okay, if I say this, then she'll get upset. And if I say this, you went like that, you know, trying to hide. And it just becomes a very high energy game just to maintain things in a, in a way, instead of what I much prefer to operate in now, which is like, this is who I am.I've accepted who I am, but for the most part, because there's always bits, we're trying to take out the backpack right. And acceptable. This is who I am. I'm accepting. This is, this is how it is. Right. There's things here that could be better. There's things that could be improved. That's okay. But I look at them and I say, yeah, that's a part of who I am.De'Vannon: Okay. So it's about self-acceptance of what, but, okay. So, so when you say a fear of choosing the wrong woman, so is this something that happens once you made some. Improvement in yourself as a man. At what point did he [00:31:00] begin where you, um, avoiding commitment? Cause you were afraid you might pick the wrong girl.David: Um, this was continuous, continuous, like a continuous thing that I would be with the woman for maybe six months a year. And, but I'd also kind of have my half my eye on like, okay, if this doesn't work out, you know, I can still be fine kind of thing. Right. So the fear is that she's not the right woman for me.So if that's that fear is true, that I need to also be like looking out for what's wrong with her constantly, you know, nitpicking finding forth, but also have one eye on the exit. It's like, you know, it's basically like living with one foot out the door, meaning you'll never fully commit to someone. You never give them your all which, which for the other person is horrendous.Right. Cause it, it creates a lot of anxiety for them. But for me doing it, it also creates anxiety for me, for me. But it's also had me on this kind of high alert of always nitpicking back. Something that I [00:32:00] have to really be conscious of now. Right. Is that I give unsolicited advice to my partner now, or I'm like, oh, like even the other day she was cooking.Some planting, um, resonates. I've taught a Swedish woman to cook Jamaican food. So there is some time to see us. She loves it. Right. She's cooking. You're welcome. You're welcome. Bye.And she's, she's cooking the plant in and I'm like, oh, you need to cook that a bit longer. Oh, you should. You should tell him that. And it's like, I have to, then I w I sat down and I say, Hey, I'm leaving. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, because this is part of this like, oh, you could be better. This is wrong.Something's wrong. And it's something that I still have to manage. Right. So I have to be really aware, it's shine my light of awareness. But in the past it was worst because I wouldn't even, I would be nitpicking at the women I was with verbally, but also be like, well, you know, with all these things, you're definitely not the right one for me to be [00:33:00] with, you know?De'Vannon: Okay. Okay. So that, that kind of echoes whether it echoes what we were talking about with like the hypnotherapy, because what you're saying is you were dealing with her on the surface off of a, an, an inner belief that you had or interferes that you had and stuff like that. I've had to do that to, you know, and, and, and dial it back.Which, which is something hard for somebody who's as extra as Maya this to do, but, but it can be done. It can be done. So hopefully y'all, David: and it helps the relationships as well. Right? De'Vannon: Yeah. And when you do a little less, you know, I used to be, you know, like super critical and stuff like that. And I, I believe that was me speaking forward, the voice of those who were, who have been critical of me in the past, my dad and in the military, the church, you know, and, you know, then I brought that into the relationships and now I'm like, okay, why, why am I doing this?And [00:34:00] so it's always beautiful when we have that moment, you know, like you and I have had where we begin to question why we're doing what we're doing while we're thinking the way we're thinking, where did this come from? And then taking ownership of ownership of it and changing it to.Let's let's have some fun. We're going to talk about some sexual things. Now I want to know what are the secrets for men lasting longer in bed? And you said in my, in my readings of you, that it's not about, um, where you sit on your podcast. I believe it's not about being a porn star and lasting for hours.It's about lasting as long as you want to. David: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think we we've watched all this porn, right. Ultimately porn has become. I'll say it's education, you know, rightly or wrongly porn has become our sex education, but that's our generation, right? Because our parents were too scared to talk about sex because they were [00:35:00] clueless to be honest.Right. And you know, the younger generation I'm seeing now, I've got the younger sisters about 10 years or so younger. And at least they have, um, there's a bit more in, in terms of like healthy, uh, sexual kind of education now. So for us there was porn. So we watched porn and most of the porn we watched was, you know, a few minutes long.They were like going as hard as they could for, you know, five minutes, three minutes. And if you're watching, you know, Petra, heteronormative, poor, like me, it's all about the penis in the vagina. The woman is like weathering and screaming all over the place, even though no one's touching the crit risks. No one's done any foreplay.That's right. And that, and that becomes a man's education for sex. You know, a lot of guys, they go into sex and it's like, okay, cool. I need to give this one the best two minutes of their life, you know? And it's not even two minutes of like, oh, not including the floor place. Like no, that's includes the four pay because that's all they've seen.Right. That's the only reality of what sex is. [00:36:00] So I work with guys and it's like, okay, cool. You want to have you, you want to last longer because every man, almost every man you meet is like, yeah, I wouldn't mind last a bit longer. So I usually start with, with the pace. The first thing we do is slow down, slow things down, because as much as we think we're really enjoying a few minutes of hard action, there's actually so much more enjoyment to being hard on.We can slow down. We have a whole body. The, as I say now, I learned from my tantric lenses. Our whole body is an instrument of pleasure. We have all these senses that we can use for erotic pleasure. If we choose to, you know, the taste, the smell, the sound, if we just spend the time to, to drop in, to relax, to breathe and to, to be present.Right? So the first thing is to slow down, like when we in, in the, in the accident as well, and also to build up slowly, it's really important to build up slowly, because if you build up slowly as, as men, our arousal can rise very quickly, right. We can go from [00:37:00] fucking zero to erection, to penetrating in, in a 30 seconds.So it really is. We talking, you know, one minute to 30 seconds, but for us, like for me, it was sleeping with women. Women can take anything from 20 minutes to an hour, really to be ready for sex. Right. So there's a huge mismatch there. Right? You've got one minute and ready. You've got like 20 minutes, half an hour, I'm ready.And it's like, how do we marry this up? Right. So. The thing I teach men is to slow down, slow down, be present, be really focused on the sensations of touch with the person you're with. Even if you're with someone and they're trying to speed things up, slow things down a little bit. There's no rush. We're all conditioned to going really quickly.It's like the rest of our lives. We just run around like mad people all the time. Why? Because we're conditioned to do that. We don't stop and think, wait a minute. Can I do all this shit slowly? Yeah, I could. And I was, I might enjoy it more, you know? So, so that's the kind of in, in play [00:38:00] insects way of, you know, uh, slowing things down as well as I'd add in breathing, deep breathing is a good one, breathing very deeply, you know?Cause it moves. It also moves the sexual energy, the S the sensations around the body. You feel more, not just in your cock, not just in your, in your groin. You start to feel the sensations in your feet and your toes and your hands up the back of your spine and so forth. But I also teach men that before they're even having sex, they can start to do.At home on their own, right? In terms of, you know, like mindful masturbation practice, like a self pleasure practice that includes meditation, maybe a few minutes of meditation, then it includes some, some Breathworks and deep breathing, you know, to relax the body. And then when you do get to put your hands on your cock, right, don't just put your hands there.You have a whole body, you can touch, you can start to learn about the different parts of your body that you enjoy being touched on. You know, for many men, my belief is 90% of men have no idea that they can enjoy any other sort of [00:39:00] touch other than on their Cox. They don't realize that maybe they really sensitive in loads and it feels amazing for them to be, to be stroked or even just slightly licked, you know, because you just have to find that, right.But lot body parts, you just have to find that just right. Type of touch. Right. And you have to, you have to spend some time to experiment, you know, because it might not be firm. It might be soft. It might be like, Featherlight, it might even just be some blowing, right. That feels amazing. And you have this whole body to, to kind of find that out about, and there's like, there's all these different parts.And so you'd have to spend time, but if we'd done this at this free cock centered sex, you'll never know you've missed out on this whole life of all these beautiful sensations. So I teach mentor to, you know, be with themselves, be more connected to their own body and what they enjoy, you know, relax, but also to use different strokes when they're alone, you know, not just the standard up and down with one hand, you know, you use two hands, use a, get a flashlight and use that as well.You know, like really experiment, really being [00:40:00] playful. Being the playfulness of yourself to learn, because this allows you to understand your arousal a bit more. And it also means that when you start getting very aroused, when you're alone, you can slow down and you start to understand your arousal rate as it rises so that when you do go into the bedroom with someone else, you can slow down.When you find yourself getting very aroused, because you want it to last longer. And it means then you just riding the waves, man, just riding these waves as they get a bit higher and then you can choose exactly when you want to. When you want to comment when you want actually, De'Vannon: oh, I think what you just invented, I would call, um, masturbation meditation.David: That's exactly how I describe De'Vannon: it. You should call it patent. Trademark gets that, that our circle thing on there, new masturbation meditation, founds, Fabiola.I mean, for the man out there. [00:41:00] All y'all got sensitive. Nicole's ears pretty much for the most part, if I haven't slept with a thousand men and I have at least y'all yeah. The deck for sure. But your ears and your know-hows trust me. Just let, let somebody touch them and see what happened. David: Yeah. So De'Vannon: does this get into the area of sexual performance anxiety or is that kind of like the same thing?David: No, no, there's a lot of, uh, you know, sexual performance. Anxiety is something that is, is huge for men around lasting long enough, right? There's a, this concern is fear about lasting long. I've been big enough having a nice enough body pleasing the partner, you know, all these things play on the mind of, of, of, you know, sex performance, anxiety, even for men in relationship.I know that some of my clients are like their anxieties around that they have a much lower sex drive than their partner. So their anxiety almost [00:42:00] is like, I'm going to come home. You're going to want sex. And if I don't want to, how am I going to deal with, how am I going to manage that? Right. So all these sorts of anxieties I've already.I do a lot of work for men about, you know, what's the anxiety, what is it? How can you work for it? How can you discuss it with your partner? Right. Where does it really come from? Is it a real anxiety, even, you know, is it a real fear and worry when it comes to sex? Like the one around often that comes from men is like, oh, I want to please, my partner, I've heard, she's been with other men, you know, we want to please her.And it's like, okay, how do you think you go about that? How do you think you'd go about pleasing your partner? And this is a beautiful question, right? Because the way men come at sex a lot, right. Especially heterosexual man is I am doing sex to someone I'm doing sex to a woman. I am doing it to her. It's like, um, it's a it's, it's not a co-creation right.It's not a, uh, something you're both doing [00:43:00] together De'Vannon: from, from the woman's perspective. Sorry to get you off. But, um, so when, whenever, whenever. What I'm going to illustrate what you're saying. So like when I've received the deck from men before, it's like, man, look, they would look at me like I'm going to be like a workbench or like some sort of project.Okay. So while he's up there thrusting, everything's like, he's studying my reaction, everything like that and see what he is doing to me and the effect that he's having on me. It's a project to be done. This is what he's talking about, about people of the audience. And that's what I wanted to say. Go ahead and continue that.David: Oh, that's beautiful customer. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, it's a it's it's do you know what it is? It's very much nail on hammer. The hammer. The nail is the passive object in it. I mean, actually it's not that way. Right? Because, so when I do say so how are you going to please this partner you're going to be with [00:44:00] this woman.They're like, oh, then I need to know. I need to know, you know, how to make her calm. Okay, cool. How are you going to know how to do that? But you don't need to watch a video. Okay. What would you going watch? Uh, you know, there's some stuff on YouTube or, you know, porn or whatever, or other porn sites, right.Tutorials. Okay, cool. And then when you've watched that, what are you gonna do? Okay. So when I'm with her, and then I want to start remembering the stuff I learned and then do that stuff to her. Cool. How'd, you know, she liked it. Um, uh, she'll come how'd, you know, when she comes and, and you know, a lot of us, we, all men are not really sure.Right. That I dunno. Cool. And we get to down this line of, you know, sometimes they add in some more techniques to learn and I go, what else could you do? Sometimes they're done founded and I'm like, so could you ask her what she likes? And then there's usually a silence. Which I [00:45:00] can't do that. How am I going to do that?Then? She'll know, I don't know what to do. Why would, you know what to do? This is a completely new human being, and this here is just a coaching conversation. I've had like 20, 30 times. Right. And they're like, I can do that. I can ask them like what they like. Yeah. And then what will they tell me if they know?Yeah. And then you can do those things, right? Yeah. And then you know that they enjoy that because they told you because they told you beforehand. Yeah. And isn't that a much better thing. And it opens up a lot more, but this is so radical. Right. Because there's this idea that we should all know exactly how to have sex really well with any different person that comes along.Right. Which is really, when you think about is ludicrous. And what it also does on the flip side is with this masculine doing too, it also means that a woman becomes, she doesn't have any responsibility. Right. Which isn't good, right. For her own pleasure because it's [00:46:00] like, oh, he does this to me. So if I have a shit time out, fuck is his fault.Cause he shouldn't bet. So it means that all the responsibility sits with the man about, you know, being right, being good. And the woman's left generally unhappy. Right? Let's be honest about it. Right? If you canvas women around the world about their sexual enjoyment with, with the men that we've. So what my thing is rebalancing is like saying to women, and I think there's a lot of female empowerment.There's a lot of beautiful female empowerment happening. And I love to see, you know, I try to even be part of it, right. Where I can is like speak up as a woman and say, this is what I want. This is what I need is what I desire as a man. Hear that and hear that as like a person that you're with a woman you love, who's loving you.Who wants you to feel pleasure and wants you to know what she enjoys to bake. You can enjoy it together. And it becomes a co-creation instead of the project being done to.De'Vannon: A co a co-creation a project working on [00:47:00] together. Sounds a lot better. It really, really does. And, um, but, but you in pun intended, hit the nail on the head when you were talking about when you were talking about men, not men, not feeling like they could just ask the simple question, communicating and stuff like that is the, if the episode or of any sort of connectiveness that anyone that any two or more people are going to have together.And it's really just that simple or. And, you know, you could just ask, you know, there's the, there's no need to make it a pop quiz or an exam. There's just, it's just simple girl. What do you like? And look, women are freaky as hell and not like she's some shy little school girl, just because she don't come out at him.Perverted, you know, society has taught her, you know, she's got to act like a lady and that's a whole other thing, but trust me, she know what to do with a Dick. Women love sucking them. [00:48:00] She can move them and love the male anatomy and, uh, but a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of us, the girls are waiting on you to initiate a lot of stuff.But once you do that baby, well, then it's all good. You know,David: it's a question. Is it similar in the, in the Creek community? Is it there's there's men who are like, I do the De'Vannon: Dewey. And then what community, how did you refer to it? David: In the queer community? De'Vannon: Okay. Yeah, I thought she said, it's the term that I had been recognized. I was like, okay, this is a new thing from across the pond.Okay. So something in a gay world, if you are the penetrative one, the one who's sticking the Dick into the asshole or whatever hole you are choosing that particular day. Then we call you a top. If you are the one receiving the Dick and we call you a bottom, if you Afrique and you like at all, we call you versatile.And, um, [00:49:00] but yeah, it's very much, the dynamics are not the same. I'm glad you brought that up because that was going to be my next point, how these, these struggles are the same for gay men, straight men by men, men who prefer not to be labeled any kind of way, but at the end of the day, even in the gay world, I mean, I mean, I've had straight men by men, gay men and everything.It's the same across the board in terms of if they get stage fright, if they are feeling insecure and stuff like that, if they feel, you know, the whole, you know, men can get into their fields and it doesn't matter. And so everything that David has said, this applies to gay men, straight men. Then you have a lot of gay men who were super, super, super, super, super machismo that it doesn't matter.You know, he, he w he'll tell you that he's gay, but that doesn't, he doesn't view himself as a feminine or girly or anything at all. You know, it's all about, you know, and then they'll get into fights and everything [00:50:00] like that. Like, it doesn't matter. I'm not saying men are fighting us what they do, but that brings me to toxic masculinity.I want you to talk, talk to us about. What it is, you know, why it's a problem? Where does this toxic masculinity come from? My Naval guy who, who knows he's toxic has toxic masculinity. You know, like he knows it. He'll be like, yeah, I'll have toxic masculinity. Like, and you know, and then the conversation would go from there.And it, and it was because when I was a massage therapist, I was like, yeah, you should come get a massage. And Tommy was like, yeah, no only girls only girls get attached to me. And I was like, okay. You know, and that, you know, people don't want to have sex with you just so they give you a massage. Like it just, I'm sorry, it's not that serious.And he's like, you know, he was like, yeah, I know, I know. But I just have to talk to them as salinity. And you know, this is just how it is, you know, whateverfree from these expectations in this [00:51:00] toxic, I don't know. You talk, I don't know what to say by, David: so I think your friend there is a really good example actually, of where we talk about the self-mastery it's like he's identified, there's a problem right there. And he's identified that he actually, I don't know if it is a problem for him, that's, there's another, but he's not willing to look at the underlying thing.Like why is it that he's toxic and why does he hold these beliefs? And I guess also the question is is why is he not willing to give them up or try something different? Right. But that's a, that's a whole different conversation. So for me, the, the, the thing about toxic masculinity is that, and also the first thing that was spaced the word toxic masculinity and not synonymous of each other.Right. I think we've moved into a world where some people think that all masculinity is toxic and I really deeply disagree. And I could find so much evidence to only one who doesn't agree with that. So what we've, we've really got in this day and age, you've got the, the patriarchy, and I don't need to explain that to anybody.Right. Which you know, is [00:52:00] hurting black people is hurting white men as well is hurting everybody really. Right. But what it's saying is that it gives us these very small boxes that we have to live in. Like it's saying that. To be a masculine man. You can only be a certain way, right? Which is you need to be big.You need to be buff. You need to be straight. Uh, you need to want to have sex with women all the time. You need to probably, you know, earn good money, have a nice house, drive a fast car and all these things, right. And this box over here of what being masculine is, you know, think of, think of James Bond in the seventies.You know, that was for me is like not the pinnacle of masculinity, but he's very, he's very masculine manually. It doesn't show any emotion. That's something you can't do. If you're a masculine man, you can't show emotion. You can't care very much about anything. That's sweet. If you're a masculine man, you don't really care about anything.You know, you have to be quiet. Um, there's even an aggressive nature to being a real kind of masculine man. So all these things, if you put them all together, Right. There [00:53:00] are definitely part of masculinity. The problem that's really lacking when it used someone who is toxic exhibiting these toxic masculine traits is they lack, compassion and love right.For themselves. But it also have a people because if you have these masculine traits and you start to bring in compassion, right. And love the man who is saying, I can't have a massage from, from a guy when he brings love into that, he's like, oh, well, this actually would be really beautiful for me. Right.I'm going to, it's going to be nice and maybe. There's a bit of uncomfortability, but I can have compassion for my own uncomfortability and still do this thing. Right. And I think that's where we're really lacking is this love, this compassion, compassionate for each other. And we just talked through our world.You know, our capitalist world is just like, everything's about results. Everything's about money, you know, and we don't care about nurturing. We don't care about even creativity. You know, even something as simple as artistry is being decimated [00:54:00] really in our countries because Hey, if it doesn't make money, then it's worthless, you know, kind of thing.So, you know, all those things we would traditionally say are more feminine traits. And when I say masculine and feminine, I'm not saying these things are gendered. It's just the, you know, when we look at these things, you know, first of all, you look at some of the Eastern traditions, uh, like tantra for instance, is very much seen.You know, the feminine is the, what they often call Shakti's the energy of life. It is like full blooded flow and force. And the masculine is, is she, various consciousness is direction is, is boundaries is, is a container, right? And those two things together are, have amazing creative force, but on their own, they don't give you anything valuable.And I think this is a problem for a lot of men is they're just inhibiting all this masculine energy and they're not bringing in any of these, these more feminine traits that actually will help them grow as men, right. And grow and help us grow as a community, as a world to be more loving and kind and more [00:55:00] supportive to everybody and not just be so maybe self-centered and focused on results De'Vannon: and right in the thing is.You know, women, well, we're all lightened, our good and evil, masculine, and feminine everything everybody is. So that's a part of balance. And when we don't embrace it, then we get thrown out of balance. But see, even women like, like you were telling me before, expect certain preprogram masculine traits from men too, you know, I was one that way, you know, you know, especially coming from the south, you know, I was thinking men are supposed to act this way, you know?So if a guy did not act a certain way, I remember one time, this was really fucking, you know, tough to do, but like tattoos everywhere when I was like, you know, you know, on the streets. And they were like heavily involved in drugs and everything, you know, who was known, you know, having a big Dick and all of that, you know, you know, that type of guy [00:56:00] wanted like a grape soda or something one day.And I was thinking, you know, You know, you know, grape soda, you know, I was like, okay, that's kind of like girly compared to the sort of man that I'm looking at here standing before me, you know, but it wasn't right for me to put that, put that restriction on him. If he wants to pound some pussy and then go get a grape soda, then he could fucking pounds of pudding to get a very solid, it doesn't have to be or scotch or a bear or nothing like that.He don't have to go get high. And again, you know, he wants some, a Fresca, wherever the fuck makes Greg sodas, I don't drink soda, but you know that, you know what, that was his right. I shouldn't have done that to him. So what do I get that bullshit from in my mind? So that was me having some toxic bullshit going on about what he should be doing and rather than accepting him for what he was.And, um, so talk to us about how women can expect this too, from people and how this hurts women as well. David: Yeah, because we're all conditioned with the same [00:57:00] patriarchy, they're all conditioned with the same, uh, toss, toxic masculinity. So we've seen so much of this toxic mess and anything we've gone. Okay.This is how men should be. So then women are looking for a man, right. And they're like, they meet a man, maybe like me, for instance, who is, who would be like, you know, and I had this a lot when I was, um, in my twenties and even in my early thirties, it's like, women would be like, oh, you're quiet. You're quite girly.Really? Aren't, you're quite capped. I'd be like, yeah, I guess so. Yeah. I wear a color and I dance. I love to dance. I dance at my home on my own and I'll do all sorts of weird and wonderful things. And they'd be like, oh, that's quite girly. And I'd be like, yeah. And you see there, you're hearing in there, they have associated something like dancing in a man of something that's girly or wearing color.Like, you know, the shirt you have on right now. I'm like, that's a fucking awesome shirt. I'll be wearing that shirt if I was out, you know? So it's like, women would be like, oh, [00:58:00] that's a bit, you know? Okay. Are you, I used to get asked a lot. Are you gay? And I'm like, no, no, I'm not gay. And they'd be like, oh, I'm really sorry if I offended you.I'm like, no, no, no, no, that's fine. I understand why you said that to me. It's not offensive to me. That's what you're thinking. It's not about me. And this is the thing is that when we learn these, we conditioned into this toxic masculine way. And then we project it onto everybody and expect them to be this way.And then the worst thing is, is that. If we have this idea that men see difference, the woman has it. Oh, all men, you know, they sleep around, right. That's how they are because they are men, which is a toxic trait to say a woman sleep around. So then they meet a man and they're dating, or they get married to have babies.And they're like, oh, you know, all man, they sleep. My husband, you know, he's sleeping off a women. That's just how men are. And that's where she has taken on this toxicity that she's learned. She has kind of, um, embedded that into her belief system. And then she allows that to happen a life when really being a man and sleeping around they're, they're two different things.They don't have to go together. Or [00:59:00] even we get to worst things around things like physical abuse. You know, this idea that old men are aggressive, that good men are aggressive. So if you meet a man who's not aggressive, you're like, well, ah, he's not a real man. But you see another man over there who's like fucking frame glass or when at the, at the floor, because he's, you know, he spilled a little bit of his drink or something.You're like, oh, well that's a real man. That's where we, we kind of embed this toxic ideas into us. And then it hurts us as well, because this is the way the perverse way of the toxic masculinity is it also helps the men who are toxic because it's it strangles them into who they're allowed to be. You know, I have a friend of mine.Um, he is, I'd say it's pretty masculine guys tool. His bald is pretty bulky guy. And he did a lot of, uh, was it like street dancing? They do, it's a street dancing classes. Right. And he didn't tell anyone. He went to the street dancing classes because he was afraid that men would, would judge him would make fun of him.Right. And that fee could, there [01:00:00] is what toxic masculinity does. It stops. It stops us from expressing ourselves in the way that we'd really like to, because we fear the judgment of others. So we've in the adjustment of us. De'Vannon: Right. And when you're running around, like that expecting things from people that you shouldn't or expect things from yourself that you shouldn't, then you were out of balance and you won't be able to, to give love because you're not loving yourself.Right. And we can't give away what we don't have. David: Yeah. Yeah. De'Vannon: So then, um, I'm going to let you go ahead and have the last word and, uh, tell the listeners out there, your great wisdom and everything. I've so enjoyed our time today. So go ahead on and preach your gospel. David: What's there for me now.I think the thing that comes up for me is around how we deal with our emotions. I think. [01:01:00] This is a big part of the work I do, especially with men is that there's this idea that emotions are useless, and this is also a part of the kind of toxic masculinity, right? So we should, we should always do everything with the brain, but brain is superior to emotions and we should ignore them and we should, you know, get on with other things we're doing.And the truth is, is like our emotions are very valuable because they give us an understanding of, of our past as well, even because those emotions, some conflicts come from dysfunction. Beliefs and dysfunctional ideas we have, but

David Chambers is an Authentic Male Coach that helps men step into their Divine Masculine as they heal through past trauma, suffering and pain. David and I discuss what toxic masculine means, as well as how women can support men in the process of awakening, as they heal through their own masculine energy. How women can give small acts of gratitude  in order for men to be more in alignment with their true self, and give women more of what they want. Bringing divine balance to both our  Masculine and Feminine energies, by creating incredible communication not only empowers their relationship, it creates sparks in the bedroom. When we come to understand one another and hold each other at our highest light our relationship not only becomes orgasmic it becomes so empowering that brings you closer together on a daily basis. David and I discuss the beauty of tantric sex, how to set up the scene, how to communicate in the bedroom and how to keep each other satisfied by holding each other accountable by expressing what you want and what makes you feel good, including your fantasies. Leave us your comment and share this podcast with your family, friends and community. About the Host, Zak LioutasJoin Zak for 21 days of Intentional Meditation Practice Connect with Zak on her SocialsJoin us in the Private Facebook Group Join us on Instagram This podcast has been sponsored by BFU Soul Activation Program. BFU Soul Activation Information About the Guest, David ChambersFacebook Instagram