Mental Mastery Mondays | Life Purpose, Productivity, and Self-Discipline

One of the best ways to get your ego, anxiety, and worry out of the way so you can tap into and listen to your higher self is through Automatic Writing or Stream of Consciousness Writing or Journaling.  This is different than typical journaling in that you're really trying to remove all conscious thought and just let words flow out through your pen without any judgment.  When you do this, you're going to discover what aligns with your soul. If you're facing a challenge in business or you're wondering what type of business would really light you up and get you excited about it every day, this is a great tool. Ready to Replace Your Day Job with Work You Love? If you're stuck in a job you hate, feeling burned out, and lacking passion, I'd love to jump on a call to help you discover a way to replace your 9-5 job with an online business that aligns with your purpose and allows you to finally live the fulfilling life you desire and deserve. Schedule Your Breakthrough Call   I'd love to connect with you wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube  

We all have a secret within us that can help us make decisions that align with our values and our Souls. When we learn to tap into this internal guide, we also tend to produce much quicker decisions, which will help us execute and impliment our businesses more quickly.  In the next 10 minutes, you're going to discover your intuition. What it is, how to become more aware of it, how to trust it, and how to tell the difference between your intuition and your fears, anxiety, or ego.  Ready to Replace Your Day Job with Work You Love? If you're stuck in a job you hate, feeling burned out, and lacking passion, I'd love to jump on a call to help you discover a way to replace your 9-5 job with an online business that aligns with your purpose and allows you to finally live the fulfilling life you desire and deserve. Schedule Your Breakthrough Call   I'd love to connect with you wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube  

Strriving to do your very best can often lead to perfectionism, which almost always leads to procrastination.  In this episode you're going to learn the difference between "Business Perfect" and "Perfect Perfect." In business, you don't have time to hit perfect, but you do want to do your very best. So how do you reconcile those two things?  You'll completely shift your mindset on "perfect" after this short 10 minute episode. Ready to Replace Your Day Job with Work You Love? If you're stuck in a job you hate, feeling burned out, and lacking passion, I'd love to jump on a call to help you discover a way to replace your 9-5 job with an online business that aligns with your purpose and allows you to finally live the fulfilling life you desire and deserve. Schedule Your Breakthrough Call   I'd love to connect with you wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube  

The only limitation to what's possible for us as humans is our imagination and our belief.  Nobody could run a 1 mile race faster than 4 minutes until Roger Bannister did it in 1954. Since then over 1,500 people have officially run it in that time.  In this episode I want to help you believe the impossible is possible. That your wildest imaginations can come true.  Expand your belief and realize we've already done so much and we're going to do even more. These are exciting times and you are part of the incredible chage coming.  Ready to Replace Your Day Job with Work You Love? If you're stuck in a job you hate, feeling burned out, and lacking passion, I'd love to jump on a call to help you discover a way to replace your 9-5 job with an online business that aligns with your purpose and allows you to finally live the fulfilling life you desire and deserve. Schedule Your Breakthrough Call   I'd love to connect with you wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube  

Taking the time to prepare for something important is a good thing. But what happens when we shift from preparation to procrastination?  When you constantly find something else that needs to be done before you take action? When you have a long list of details you need to do but most of them don't really impact the outcome.  This is something that holds a lot of entrepreneurs back from taking action toward their biggest goals. Let's talk about it and why it happens.  Ready to Replace Your Day Job with Work You Love? If you're stuck in a job you hate, feeling burned out, and lacking passion, I'd love to jump on a call to help you discover a way to replace your 9-5 job with an online business that aligns with your purpose and allows you to finally live the fulfilling life you desire and deserve. Schedule Your Breakthrough Call   I'd love to connect with you wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube  

After decades of research and personal experience, I have discovered the absolutely critical element to achieving any goal. It's going to seem obvious to you, but the most obvious answer is usually the right answer and it also happens to be the one we most often over look.  So, if you're looking to do something big, this is where to start. Right here with this episode. I promise you, if you do what I share in these 10 minutes, you will move closer to your goal.  Ready to Replace Your Day Job with Work You Love? If you're stuck in a job you hate, feeling burned out, and lacking passion, I'd love to jump on a call to help you discover a way to finally break free from the mundane so you can do something that aligns with your purpose and allows you to finally live the fulfilling life you desire and deserve. Schedule Your Breakthrough Call   I'd love to connect with you wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube      

If you could be anyone you wanted to be, who would you be? Not a real person, but how would you describe this person you would become? Courageous? Brave? Disciplined? Proud? Confident? If you could make a new version of yourself, what would you put into this new you?  The great news is, you can! How would you feel as this new person? How would that new feeling impact your life? I talk about a practice you can put into use today that will create a brand-new version of you.  It's simple, it doesn't take long, and it has an amazing impact on your life.  If you love this show, please leave a 5-Star rating and review to help pay-it-forward.  Ready to Replace Your Day Job with Work You Love? If you're stuck in life? In a job that leaves you wanting more? In a relationship that lost its passion? Living a boring and dull life? I'd love to help you break through all this so you can live the life you deserve to live. A life of purpose, passion, and peace.  I have a few slots available in the next couple of weeks where we can jump on a free call and look at where you are and what we can do to get you to where you want to be. Go in and schedule a time right now: Schedule Your Breakthrough Call  

If you find you end each day with way too many items still on your task list, this episode is for you.   If you actually make a task or to-do least each day, most of the time it's more of a "wish list" than a to-do list. It's kind of like a "hope to do list."   After this episode, you're going to go from feeling overwhelmed in the morning and defeated every evening to feeling completely in control at the start of each day and victorious at the end.   The foundation of a fulfilling life is doing what you're uniquely gifted to do. If you're not sure what that is for you, spend less than 30 minutes walking through a free tool I created to Identify Your True Life Purpose. If you'd like to talk with me directly about your specific situation, go right now and schedule a free 15-minute introductory call. I'd love to help you in any way I can.  Schedule Your Call You can find the Mental Mastery Moment podcast on virtually every podcast platform including: Apple Podcasts Spotify Deezer iHeartRadio Castbox Google Podcasts I'd love to connect with you wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube

This episode is about getting motivated and increasing your motivation over time. When you feel stuck it can be incredibly difficult to find the motivation to move forward. But it's not as difficult as you may think.  You're going to love this quick fix to being stuck. If you'd like to talk with me directly about your specific situation, go right now and schedule a free 15-minute introductory call. I'd love to help you in any way I can.  Schedule Your Call The foundation of a fulfilling life is doing what you're uniquely gifted to do. If you're not sure what that is for you, spend less than 30 minutes walking through a free tool I created to Identify Your True Life Purpose. I'd love to connect with you wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube You can find the Mental Mastery Moment podcast on virtually every podcast platform including: Apple Podcasts Spotify Deezer iHeartRadio Castbox Google Podcasts

If you've been thinking about taking up Mindfulness Meditation or if you've been practicing for years, today's resource is going to be amazing.  The very best meditation app I've ever used. It's free and gives you access to over 100,000 high-quality guided meditations along with training, workshops, music, mentoring, live events, and so much more. You're really going to love the Insight Timer Meditation App.  If you'd like to talk with me directly about your specific situation, go right now and schedule a free 15-minute introductory call. I'd love to help you in any way I can.  Schedule Your Call The foundation of a fulfilling life is doing what you're uniquely gifted to do. If you're not sure what that is for you, spend less than 30 minutes walking through a free tool I created to Identify Your True Life Purpose. You can find the Mental Mastery Moment podcast on virtually every podcast platform including: Apple Podcasts Spotify Deezer iHeartRadio Castbox Google Podcasts I'd love to connect with you wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube

Today we're going to talk about being unoffendable... how to stop people from hurting you, so you can be healthy, joyful, full of life... strong and not inferior. We even explore if this is what Jesus taught and how maybe that idea is offensive to Christians. WARNING: This episode will likely offend you because we explore some new ideas about what Jesus said.  Listen and just be curious. The foundation of a fulfilling life is doing what you're uniquely gifted to do. If you're not sure what that is for you, spend less than 30 minutes walking through a free tool I created to Identify Your True Life Purpose. If you'd like to talk with me directly about your specific situation, go right now and schedule a free 15-minute introductory call. I'd love to help you in any way I can.  Schedule Your Call I'd love to connect with you wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube You can find the Mental Mastery Moment podcast on virtually every podcast platform including: Apple Podcasts Spotify Deezer iHeartRadio Castbox Google Podcasts

This episode is about improving your relationships by being vulnerable with each other. It's probably one of the most important things you do to strengthen any relationship.  We talk about what vulnerability is, what it isn't, why we're so afraid of it, and exactly how it makes your relationships stronger. The foundation of a fulfilling life is doing what you're uniquely gifted to do. If you're not sure what that is for you, spend less than 30 minutes walking through a free tool I created to Identify Your True Life Purpose. If you'd like to talk with me directly about your specific situation, go right now and schedule a free 15-minute introductory call. I'd love to help you in any way I can.  Schedule Your Call You can find the Mental Mastery Moment podcast on virtually every podcast platform including: Apple Podcasts Spotify Deezer iHeartRadio Castbox Google Podcasts I'd love to connect with you wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube

If you know all the productivity hacks but putting them into action feels kind of like lifting a 50 lb sack of cement, this episode may give you a better understanding on why you can't run as you used to or why you feel like you've lost your drive. It may not be laziness or a lack of motivation. You might be dealing with depression. I'm going to clarify the difference for you in this episode. If you'd like to talk with me directly about your specific situation, go right now and schedule a free 15-minute introductory call. I'd love to help you in any way I can.  Schedule Your Call The foundation of a fulfilling life is doing what you're uniquely gifted to do. If you're not sure what that is for you, spend less than 30 minutes walking through a free tool I created to Identify Your True Life Purpose. I'd love to connect with you wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube You can find the Mental Mastery Moment podcast on virtually every podcast platform including: Apple Podcasts Spotify Deezer iHeartRadio Castbox Google Podcasts

In this episode, I want to help you understand that the world is not only getting better... it's getting better at an accelerated pace. What? Impossible? Yes, in spite of the situations around the world, there's a reason to be hopeful and grateful. The world is better than it has ever been. I'll explain...  Want to help people in Ukraine? Find a quality charity through Charity Navigator.  If you'd like to talk with me directly about your specific situation, go right now and schedule a free 15-minute introductory call. I'd love to help you in any way I can.  Schedule Your Call The foundation of a fulfilling life is doing what you're uniquely gifted to do. If you're not sure what that is for you, spend less than 30 minutes walking through a free tool I created to Identify Your True Life Purpose. I'd love to connect with you wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube You can find the Mental Mastery Moment podcast on virtually every podcast platform including: Apple Podcasts Spotify Deezer iHeartRadio Castbox Google Podcasts

This episode contains a 10 minute guided meditation to help you bring yourself out of the regrets and pain of the past and out of the worry and concern for the future... in to the present moment. This is meant to help you experience the eternal peace right now.  You can find out more about the idea behind this by listening to yesterday's episode 172.  The meditation begins 5 minutes in and it's meant to be experienced when you can slow down, close your eyes, and go within.  Do not do this while driving or doing anything that requires your attention.  This guided meditation is being shared inside of the Insight Timer app which you can find in the App Store or in Google Play. If you download it, please connect with me so we can enjoy the community together.  If you'd like to talk with me directly about your specific situation, go right now and schedule a free 15-minute introductory call. I'd love to help you in any way I can.  Schedule Your Call The foundation of a fulfilling life is doing what you're uniquely gifted to do. If you're not sure what that is for you, spend less than 30 minutes walking through a free tool I created to Identify Your True Life Purpose. You can find the Mental Mastery Moment podcast on virtually every podcast platform including: Apple Podcasts Spotify Deezer iHeartRadio Castbox Google Podcasts I'd love to connect with you wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube

In this episode, we explore this idea of eternity and what it means for us living here in our time-bound world. How do we bring the promised peace of our future eternity into our lives right now?  If you'd like to talk with me directly about your specific situation, go right now and schedule a free 15-minute introductory call. I'd love to help you in any way I can.  Schedule Your Call The foundation of a fulfilling life is doing what you're uniquely gifted to do. If you're not sure what that is for you, spend less than 30 minutes walking through a free tool I created to Identify Your True Life Purpose. I'd love to connect with you wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube You can find the Mental Mastery Moment podcast on virtually every podcast platform including: Apple Podcasts Spotify Deezer iHeartRadio Castbox Google Podcasts

In this episode we talk about what motivates people to do more... not just your employees, but your kids, your neighbors, the people who service your car or home. The people you see at the grocery store every day. Even your customers... what gets them to help you grow your business? The foundation of a fulfilling life is doing what you're uniquely gifted to do. If you're not sure what that is for you, spend less than 30 minutes walking through a free tool I created to Identify Your True Life Purpose. If you'd like to talk with me directly about your specific situation, go right now and schedule a free 15-minute introductory call. I'd love to help you in any way I can.  Schedule Your Call You can find the Mental Mastery Moment podcast on virtually every podcast platform including: Apple Podcasts Spotify Deezer iHeartRadio Castbox Google Podcasts I'd love to connect with you wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube

If you find yourself starting you day already mentally exhausted, this episode will help.  Your brain is constantly processing data and that creates fatigue. Just like your body, your brain gets worn out. Unfortunately, it's much more difficult to detect and it has a huge impact on your productivity.  In this episode we talk abou thow to maximize your brain functino by integrating one of the most important things you can do each day...  If you'd like to talk with me directly about your specific situation, go right now and schedule a free 15-minute introductory call. I'd love to help you in any way I can.  Schedule Your Call The foundation of a fulfilling life is doing what you're uniquely gifted to do. If you're not sure what that is for you, spend less than 30 minutes walking through a free tool I created to Identify Your True Life Purpose. I'd love to connect with you wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube You can find the Mental Mastery Moment podcast on virtually every podcast platform including: Apple Podcasts Spotify Deezer iHeartRadio Castbox Google Podcasts

If you're bored and feel like you're in a rut, you may be trying to figure out what you can do to bring back that fire you used to have. Before you start something new, I encourage you to look at REstarting something from your past. I go over the distinct advantages of restarting rather than starting over. Rather than launching a new show, I decided to relaunch the Mental Mastery Moment podcast. This is the first new episode in over 5 years and I share the thinking behind this relaunch.  At the foundation of living a fulfilling life is doing what you're uniquely gifted to do. If you're not sure what that is for you, spend less than 30 minutes walking through a free tool I created to Identify Your True Life Purpose. If you'd like to talk with me directly about your specific situation, go right now and schedule a free 15-minute introductory call. I'd love to help you in any way I can.  Schedule Your Call Let's connect wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube You can find the Mental Mastery Moment podcast on virtually every podcast platform including: Apple Podcasts Spotify Deezer iHeartRadio Castbox Google Podcasts

Your success in business isn't just measured by your bank balance. Too many wealthy business owners suffer through failing health, failing relationships, and a failure to find a higher purpose. My name is Paul Desmond Adams. I'm a Holistic Business Coach specializing in Digital Media & Marketing. I created the Mental Mastery Moment podcast back in 2014 because I wanted to help people live their most fulfilling life. I intentionally made each episode short, about 15 minutes so you can get what you need and get on with your life. Mondays I focus on Mindset because that sets the foundation for your week. Tuesday tends to be the busiest day of the week so I share tips for increasing productivity. Wednesday is all about people... because people are more important than anything. Thursdays we go beyond ourselves tapping into the infinite creative source. Friday I share a resource I believe will help you live the life you deserve. I hope you'll take a listen and I would love to connect with you at PaulDesmondAdams.com. You can find the Mental Mastery Moment podcast on virtually every podcast platform including: Apple Podcasts Spotify Deezer iHeartRadio Castbox Google Podcasts I'd love to connect with you wherever you hang out most often: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Twitter TikTok YouTube  

This is part TWO of an interview with Tom Conrad of Rock Recovery Center in Palm Beach Gardens, FL.  If you haven't listened to part 1, go now and listen so you'll be able to follow along. This episode is sponsored by Thrive: Make Money Matter event coming in October of 2016 in my hometown of San Diego. Save 20% off your ticket price when you use the promo code: Desmond.   This episode deals with facing change in our life. Whether that's giving up the addictions we're facing or finally chasing the dreams we've put off for too long. Regardless, the mental hurdles are the same.  You'll find out how to face the fear of change and the denial we may use to avoid it.  We're going to talk about what enabling looks like and how it can best be dealt with. Sadly, it usually comes out of love and empathy.  You'll also hear about the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous AA. If you benefit from this episode, please take the time to give it a 5 STAR rating and review in iTunes, iHeartRadio or wherever you may be enjoying it.

It doesn't matter if you're dealing with drug addiction, alcoholism, or any other issue on that level, you can all learn about the mental aspects of overcoming an external force which is controlling our life.  If you're in business, trying to get into shape, or working on your relationships, you will be amazed by how you can overcome your struggles by learning from someone who overcame drug and alcohol addiction. It's all the same battle on a different scale. This episode is sponsored by Thrive: Make Money Matter event coming in October of 2016 in my hometown of San Diego. Save 20% off your ticket price when you use the promo code: Desmond. This is my first ever interview on Mental Mastery Mondays. I sit down with Tom Conrad who's the Chief Operating Officer as Rock Recovery Center in Palm Beach Gardens, FL. Tom discusses how his alcohol addiction started, moved into drugs, was enabled by his father, and ultimately was addressed by facing the stark reality of his situation. This is Part One of the interview. Part Two is available right now so you can continue the story and discover even more in recovery. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a 5 STAR rating and review in iTunes or wherever you listen. It will help others find and benefit from the show.  Thank you!

If you're struggling to make the changes you need in your life in order to live the life you desire, it may be this one action that's holding you back.  Most people, myself included, don't even realize this is an issue for them. But once you do then take the action to correct it, you'll immediately find changes beginning to take place.  One simple change in mindset is all it takes. It won't be easy and it will most likely be a lifelong journey down this path, but it will be so worth it.   Listen now and find out what you need to do to get started on the road to the life you dream of living.   ---------------- Like this episode? Would you please a 5 Star rating and review on your favorite podcast directory? iTunes Google Play iHeartRadio Stitcher  

If you've struggled with finding lasting happiness or that "great feeling" we all seek, this episode is going to give you some wonderful insight. Most of us don't understand why we go through so many ups and downs in how we feel physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. This can sometimes lead to very negative habits which leave us with temporary good feelings but put us in a negative place over the long-term.  We talk about the book The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg - http://amzn.to/2a8NSsh If you yourself struggle with finding lasting good feelings, this episode is for you. If you know someone like that, please share this with them. Get the 5 Tools I Use to Maintain Mental Mastery MentalMasteryMondays.com

When you understand what causes a bird to know how to build a nest, without going to nest building school, you'll have a much deeper understanding of what your purpose is in life. Your life purpose is inside of you waiting to come out, but our modern world is most likely suppressing it. You don't realize this until you take the time to really reflect on what is inside of you. This episode will help you explore what your nest looks like, what your dam would resemble and how to let it flow out of you. Listen... ANNOUNCEMENT: On August 1, 2016, I will be releasing a very special episode of this show. It is my first ever interview episode and we'll be exploring addiction and what we can all learn about it, even if we don't have our own addiction.  You'll learn about discovering our shortfalls, facing the fear or change, and intentionally creating an environment which is conducive to our success. Don't miss it. Connect now so you'll be notified when it's released: http://Facebook.com/pdesmondadams  http://Twitter.com/pdesmondadams  http://pdesmondadams.com 

Independence is a very frightening and often painful venture.  Whether you're seeking independence from government, parents, teachers, employer, or even a personal relationship, you're going to confront a lot of fear and most likely experience some pain in the process.  This episode will explore that as well as the beautiful rewards which come from gaining your independence. It's well worth it in spite of the pain because you will come out on the other side a much different and improved person. Note: I offer a free Twitter Growth Checklist in this episode. You can download that right now at http://TwitterEdge.com Happy 4th of July America...  sorry, if you're listening in the UK.

Discover why it's not what you're going through in life that will define you and your worth to those around you. This can make or break your self-esteem if you don't understand what's most important when it comes to defining yourself.  You're also going to discover why you MUST allow the people you love in life, to experience pain. It's our nature to protect them from it, but when we do, we sabotage them and banish them to a life of perpetual struggle. Let's connect on Snapchat: @pdesmondadams

Why do we need money? What's it's purpose in our life and how should we view it? What should be our goal in having or earning money? Money is just a means to an end, which means the amount of money we need is dependent on what we want to gain with our money.  Is it security? Significance? Indulgence?  Can money actually buy us happiness? I think so and I explain why. You'll have to listen, but it's not a simple concept and not as basic as "money buys happiness."  Listen. Money doesn't buy us "stuff," instead it buys us the experiences we hope to gain in having that stuff.  Money really does buy us experiences and that's truly where we find satisfaction and happiness.  But... that stuff we buy isn't the ONLY way we can experience that same happiness. Since our happiness comes from our experiences, we change how we view them.  When we are intentional about feeling gratitude for the things we experience in life, we find our happiness comes sooner and more often.  The Princeton Study There is a study which came of Princeton University which indicated most people in America reach a peak level of happiness when they're earning approximately $75,000 per year.  There's nothing magical about that number, but in today's economy, they found this was the amount it took for someone to have all the necessities in life with a little extra for a few of the luxuries we all enjoy.  What's interesting is, the level of happiness seems to plateau at that point.  Meaning, if you earn more than $75,000 per year, you don't see your happiness level increase much more.  I dig into this concept much deeper in the episode so make sure you take the time to listen and explore.  How much money is enough?  Let's find out... 

In this episode, we're going to look at this one critical component to authentic life-changes which will last. It's the reason we stop bad behavior or take up healthy behavior. Dig into this episode and discover what it takes to make life better for you or those you love.  This episode comes out of my own desire to see others in my family set aside negative harmful behaviors and finally move forward in a positive direction in order to live the wonderful life I know they're capable of having.  Not only will you learn the key ingredient required, you'll also learn about the critical components which go into it.  You'll also learn how to balance the critical components in a way which will assure your success.

When we're emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically naked, we're forced to be honest and real with ourselves. When this happens, we can't hide behind something we may normally use to cover them up.  Four Ways to Cover Up Oftentimes we employ various strategies or justifications for keeping ourselves "covered-up" so we don't have to deal with the truth of our nakedness.  I've diluted these down to 4 general areas: Making excuses for our imperfections Blaming others for our shortcomings Feeling Threatened by other's victories Overstating our own victories Each one of these is focused on the external which is outside of control.  That makes it really easy to ignore the issue and continue on as we have previously. But, this leaves us short of our best.  We can only improve ourselves when we're honest about what needs to be improved and we can only be honest when we strip ourselves of everything we're using to cover up.  We must get naked to know what's really going on.  Finding Our Real Support Team When we're naked and honest about ourselves we find out who our real partners are in life. We discover who's going to be there to help us move forward.  This doesn't mean we rely on others to take us there, but instead, use their support to help us move there on our own.  Don't Fall Into Complacency One big stumbling point we can fall into when we're honest about ourselves is complacency. By that I mean, we are honest about our flaws, but we're not challenged to deal with them.  We must find that balance between being honest and being complacent. Getting naked and honest about ourselves isn't about championing our flaws either.  Be careful you're not saying "well, that's who I am. Love it or leave it." That will not lead to improvement either. I hope this episode helps you get honest and naked with yourself so you can humble yourself enough to seek the assistance you need to overcome the areas that need help.  There is no real gain is projecting a false success. Listen to this episode and give me your feedback on how you've not been honest in the past and what you're going to do to change the situation.

Here's what I cover in this episode: This is probably the most asked question of me. "How do I figure out my life purpose?" I dig VERY deep into this topic and explore WHY we all feel a need to know this. Basically, it's about feeling valuable, feeling as though our life has meaning and isn't just wasted energy. We all want to know it somehow matters. No More Struggle I don't want you to struggle any longer with this, so I've broken it down; letting you know what your ultimate life purpose is, as well as what your purpose is this year and even today. Sounds impossible, I know, but really the answer is quite simple, yet incredibly complex at the same time.  So come along on this journey with me and, in about 30 minutes, we'll discover exactly what you're supposed to do right now and for the rest of your life. What Do You Think? I would love to have your feedback on this.  If this brings up an even bigger questions, please reach out to me in a number of ways: Email: desmond@pdesmondadams.com Voicemail: (561) 247-2857 (24 hours - Leave a message) Speakpike: Click the little microphone "question/comment" on the far right On Twitter: @PDesmondAdams Leave a comment below.

Call and share your thoughts on this episode: (561)-247-2857 or visit: http://PDesmondAdams.com/feedback  Here's what I cover in this episode: Experts calculate that you are lied to about 100 times every single day.  Some days it's less, some days it's more, but on average, you're hearing about 100 lies per day. Maybe that's easy for you to believe because you've been lied to so many times, but the truth is, there's someone in the world right now who is believing a lie because YOU told it to them. In fact, there's someone believing a lie today because I told it to them. Why does it feel next to impossible to be honest, or have people be honest to us?  It seems like we have to have some sort of lie at all times in an effort to protect ourselves or others,  In this episode, we're going to explore the world of lying and what it does to us, the people around us and the relationships we have with the.  Can A Lie Be A Good Thing? If you immediately react to this question with a resounding "NO" you should really pause and listen to this episode.  I give an example where lying is very clearly a good thing.  If you don't believe me, you'll have to listen in and hear for yourself.

Here's what I'm going to cover in this episode:   The Fear of Mediocrity What it is and how it manifests itself in our life. I'm going to look at perfectionism and how it can stop us from doing what needs to be done to achieve our goals.   Maximum Capacity We all have a maximum capacity for ourselves. I still believe, as humans we have an unlimited potential, but that don't mean in this moment, you have an unlimited ability.  For example, even if you believe it, you can not hold your breath for 30 minutes.  That doesn't mean man doesn't have the potential to develop to the point where we can do it, it just means, right now, you're going to go about 2-3 minutes and need to breath.  Right?   I share an experiment where I try to hold my breath for as long as possible. I also share another experiment where I hold my breath for one minute, rest for 20 seconds and hold it again for 1 minute.  Ultimately, I'm able to hold my breath for a longer period of time when I interject a break just beyond my comfort zone.   John Lee Dumas - Entreprenuer on Fire You'll hear me get very vulnerable as I talk about why I felt compelled to do a daily podcast when I first started and how that lead to me failing repeatedly.  Thankfully that failure has lead to improvement (as it always does).    I look at why John Lee Dumas was able to succeed doing a daily podcast and I wasn't.  It's not about John trying harder or me having bigger hurdles, it's about capacity at that time.  Listen and you'll understand much better.    It's not about being consistently frequent, it's about being frequently consistent. Just wanting to do more won't get you to do more.  You have to have the capacity to do more and I didn't.     Mental Mastery Mondays In this episode, I share about why I'm changing the show from Mental Mastery Moment to Mental Mastery Mondays.  I'm taking this from a daily show to a weekly show and even expanding the length of the show when needed.  Most of the time it will still be under 20 minutes.     I'm also going to include guests on my show from time-to-time if they fit.  I'm not looking for the typical podcasts guest, but instead, people who are willing to talk about their struggles and how how they overcame them.  I want people who will be honest and vulnerable, not just pom-pom carrying cheerleaders.    Call to Action Review your own performance.  Are you stretching beyond your grasp or staying inside of your comfort zone?  If you are stretching, are you trying to go too far?  Are you finding your effort comes in spurts with periodic collapses?  You may be going too far.   Here are some of the resources I mention in this episode:   The 5 Fears Report - Find out what fears are keeping you from finishing what you've started and achieving your goals.   Other Podcasts You'll Enjoy: The Read to Lead Podcast with Jeff Brown The 5am Miracle with Jeff Sanders The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes Internet Business Mastery with Jeremy Frandsen and Jason Van Orden Smart Passive Income with Pat Flynn The Podcast Answer Man with Cliff Ravenscraft   How to connect with me:  Twitter - @PDesmondAdams Email - Desmond@PDesmondAdams.com

Sometimes we need a little down-time to just relax, but this isn't the opportunity to fill your mind with worthless garbage   I refer to most mainstream television as "junk food for the brain" because, just like junk food, it fills you up but has very little nutritional value.  Television will fill your mind but it has no beneficial value.  It's like cotton candy, a lot of fluff that tastes great in the moment, but it brings nothing of substance.    Keep in mind, there's very little wrong with treating yourself to a little guilty pleasure once in a while, as long as it's not the norm.  I have people in my life who's daily routine involves several hours worth of junk television. They've litterally run-off a list of TV shows ... "Do you watch this... how about this... or this?" They're amazed when I say "no, no, no." I just don't make it a practice to mentally ingest that.  But, I do love to sit and relax and be entertained by other peoples amazing creativity.   Here is my list of 4 TV shows which are incredibly entertaining but also have some redemptive qualities to them.  I hope you'll take a look at some of them.    The Profit with Marcus Lemonis   This is probably my favorite TV show.     Marcus Lemonis is the CEO of Camping World, but now he’s the part owner of numerous small and medium sizes businesses around the country, because of this television show.   He heads out to struggling businesses and helps them become profitable, by using his business savvy and industry know-how. He can usually come in and see exactly what's wrong with a business.  In fact, I find that in most cases, just about anybody could see what's wrong, but when you're in the middle of it all, it's sometimes difficult to figure out.   One of the things I love about Marcus is that he doesn’t take any crap from anyone.  There is plenty of words bleeped out in just about every episode.  He will let an owner know when they're making a mistake or being dishonest with him.    You will learn SO much about running a business and the three elements Marcus says are vital to business success, People, Product and Process.    He’s huge on getting the right people into place and treating them incredibly well. Marcus treats the right people incredibly well, rewarding them verbally as wel as monetarily when it's justified.    The product has to be great and you have to focus on the right product, not EVERY potential product.  That’s a huge lesson. I've seen so many businesses which have expanded beyond their core expertise and ended up losing so much money on the fringe items, it eats into the profit of that core.    The process has to be streamlined and efficient as well. He’s a master at finding opportunities to become more efficient while raising quality as well.  The process is vital.   The Profit is available on CNBC.    Shark Tank   You’ve probably seen the Shark Tank. It’s on prime time TV on ABC.  In fact, you can head over to ABC.com and stream previous episodes any time you'd like. I'm a huge fan of "on demand" televisions. That puts me in control of my entertainment schedule.   Multi-millionaire and even billionaires sit as “Sharks” while start-ups present their business and ask the Sharks to invest. They ask for a specific amount and in return offer a chunk of the business.  But it's very rare for someone to get exactly what they've asked for from the sharks.  After all, they're sharks...   The Sharks are Mark Cuban - Dallas Mavericks owner Lori Greiner - Queen of QVC Barbara Corcoran - Real Estate mogul Daymond John - Started FUBU Robert Herjavec - I mentioned him in episode 114 - Cyber Security firm Kevin O’Leary - Mr. Wonderful - all about making money. Made his fortune on software for kids.   You’ll learn so much about what it takes to develop a product that’s attractive to investors. They ask all the questions about finances and patents and marketability.     It's not just business though, the sharks will sometimes key in on someone who has such a tremendous passion and partner with them.  They know that passion is something you can't teach to someone, but all the other business stuff, they can.  It's a great lesson.  But it's not JUST passion.     Take a look at Shark Tank if you haven't watched it yet.    American Ninja Warrior   Even if you don’t workout or play sports, the people competing on American Ninja Warrior will take your breath away.   The best part of this show is that most of these people are just normal folks with normal jobs and pretty normal lives.  They don’t have massive sponsors and they usually build crude training facilities in their backyards. They practice after work and on weekends.  They show that, if you want it bad enough, you'll find a way to get it.     So, what do they do?   They take on some of the most treacherous obstacle courses ever designed. These are just a few examples.  There are usually about 8 obsticles in a city finals.  Once they go on to Las Vegas for the nationals, there are even more and the difficulty level goes through the roof. Spinning Logs which whip you over and over and over as you hang on until it gets to the bottom of the ramp The Salmon Ladder - Like doing pull ups but each time you pull yourself up, you have to lift the bar up about 6-8” to another set of pegs on which it can rest.  The Warped Wall is 14 feet high and it’s exactly what it sounds like, a warped wall which you have to run up and climb over.    There are countless other obstacles and some of them seem nearly impossible.  There have been times when we've been watching competitor after competitor fail on one particular obsticle and wonder if it's possible.  The amazing thing is, once one person makes it, it seems even more follow suit.  The amazing power of the mind when we finally believe something is possible.   Some of the stories are incredbily inspriring.  One example is Kacy Catanzaro, who is just 5 feet tall but she shocked everyone by being the first woman to qualify for the finals in Las Vegas.  She was an animal and I’ll tell you, if you have young daughters or granddaughters, have them watch these athletes compete. It is so inspiring.    This TV show will motivate you to push through and do what you originally thought was impossible.  I’m not just talking about physical abilities, but all abilities.  If they can push through and make it on this course, you can get through whatever obstacle is standing in front of you.   It’s on NBC or you can stream some of the best runs on YouTube or IMDB   America’s Got Talent   This seems like a circus show on the surface, but there are so many talented people who have stretched to get on this show. It’s so inspiring to me.   it's just a singing competition. These are people who do stunts, dances, magic, juggling, motorcycle acts, and more.  Really, just about any sort of talent.     Yes, there are a few of the acts that are just worthless and the producers put them on for the pure entertainment value, but they wisely keep those to a minimum.  Most of the performers are amazing.    One thing I really take away from this show is how little difference there is between good and great.  One more practice session per week, or just a slight change in costuming or music and an act can go from good to great.   Just like life for the rest of us, the greatest determiner of success for these contestants is perserverence.  The ones who make it are the ones who are doing what they love and never stop.   Relax This Weekend   Take some time to relax and be inspired this weekend.  There are other great shows, but these are a fantastic starting point.  I'd even suggest you open up that DVR and schedule these in so you catch the new episodes.  If there's a show I missed that should have been in here, reach out and let me know.  I don't watch a lot of TV, but when I do, I want to make it time well spent.

For years, we’ve been programmed to believe that wanting money isn’t very noble. In fact, having lived most of my life in the Christian sub-culture, I’ve struggled with the idea that money is bad. When I was 18, I was involved in Multi-Level Marketing and I was turned onto books like Think and Grow Rich, As a Man Thinketh, The Magic of Thinking Big and more.  I was given these by Christian leaders in our business… and the books have this quasi-Christian undertone, but …  As I got older and I became more entrenched in the evangelical Christian culture, I heard a different message. It implied … money should be the last thing on which we focus.   Yes, most will say “it’s the love of money…” But as soon as you doing something in an effort to financially improve yourself, you’re made to feel like you’re loving money. But there was a double-standard that popped up. There was this mixed message that was given. It Seems Working for Money Is Frowned Upon but Asking for Money is Ok I can tell you… money isn’t bad when there’s a ministry or organization that needs it.  That’s when they go after people with a lot of money; wine and dine them and treat them like gold itself, in order to curry their favor and garner a donation. I’ve worked in Christian radio for years and been bewildered by the difference in the message between normal days and the days when we’re raising money.   Most days, it’s a message that says life is about a lot more than money and we won’t find any satisfaction in have more money.  Pledge Drive or Share-a-thon days are filled with messages that say “money is the only thing that’s going to keep us afloat” and “we need three more people with a monthly gift of $20 right now.”   We vilify people with a lot of money all year long and then for two weeks we work to gain their favor.  If You Live in the Western World - You’re Rich. Which makes me wonder, should I be driving around in a $10,000 car (not expensive at all) talking about how working for money is bad or less noble than something else? I always struggled with the idea that we spend $50 on a night at the movies and convince people they shouldn’t focus on making money.  It’s all relative. It all depends on what you believe is normal.  But, is there a permissible norm? If I grew up in a 20,000 square foot home with a parent driving a Bentley, what would I think is “focusing too much on money?" If you grew up in a public housing project with one car to the family and it was barely running, what would you consider is “focusing too much on money?" Isn’t it all relative? To one person a brand new Toyota is sacrificing and to another person this is a grand luxury.  So, What Does it All Come Down To? It comes down to your heart.   All these moral rules we’re give are NOT about segregating those who will die and go up versus those who will die and go down.  It’s just not…  All this morality we find about not loving money, is to keep us from mentally living in hell right now.  Loving money will leave you frustrated, in turmoil and and tormented by the chase.  Love people, love service, love helping those who have a need.   When you do this, the world has a way of rewarding you with all the feelings you hope to get from having money.        Significance      Personal Value      Purpose Here’s an important distinction - Having money is great.  Having money is an indicator you helped a lot of people get what they wanted. This isn’t the case for everybody, but for someone who does what we said minutes ago, focuses on service and let’s the rewards come on their own, money is a great thing.   Serve More.. Have More.  But, this doesn’t answer my original question of whether WANTING money is wrong.   I honestly don’t think it’s a question of RIGHT vs WRONG.   It’s a matter of whether you’re doing what is healthiest for you.  Is wanting a burger wrong? Is wanting a gin and tonic wrong?  If you want a gin and tonic because you’re hoping it will address your internal pain, it’s not WRONG in a good person vs bad-person kind of way, but it’s certainly not the best thing for you, given your needs. The same goes for foods and yes, shopping.. houses, cars, vacations.  If you are seeking comfort for your soul in what you have, then you are honestly cutting yourself short of the amazing life you can have.  Is that being a bad person or a person who is missing something? Ask Yourself Today, What’s Motivating Me? Try to shift to a motivation of service. Serve people.  Joyously and generously give of yourself to others as they need.  Don’t be foolish, don’t give something of value to you to someone who finds no value in it.   This is the scripture that says “Don’t cast your pearls before swine.”  This is just wisdom. It’s not some magical “I’ll make the God-daddy in the sky happy.”  The God-man in the sky is nothing but happy.  you can’t make our creator more or less happy.  

If I had heard what I'm telling you in this episode, 20 years ago, I would be a millionaire several times over.  This is number one thing that's stopped me from reaching my goals in the past.  I'm so grateful I figured this out.  I can't stress to you enough, learn what's in this episode and it will change your life.   Fears Stop Us   I go over the fears that stop us in a one page report I put together on the 5 Fears which kill out ability to finish.  you can get it at PDesmondAdams.com/5fears or if you’re on your smart phone, send a TEXT to 33444 with the word 5Fears (all one word) in the body of the text.    Fear of Failure.. that’s one is easy for people to accept but...   Fear of Success, I’ve found is just as, if not MORE, likely to stop people.  But how do you know if you have a fear of success? I go into that in the report I mentioned and a follow email I send just on that topic, but to give you an idea…. If we have a BURDENSOME view of what success looks like, we may fear it.   Fear of Mediocrity is a huge issue for me.  If I’m not done with a project, then in my mind, it’s not mediocre.. it can’t be, because I’m not done with it. Think about that.   That’s just 3 of the 5 fears.  It almost always comes down to fears which keep us busy but never finished.   Inertia - Don’t Stop Until It’s Done   This whole inertia thing you’ve heard about in science classes… it applied to your projects as well.   When you stop, you will have one hell of a time trying to get it started again.    If you’ve ever run a race you know first hand, when you slow down and eventually stop, you have a HUGE amount of mental and physical inertia to overcome.     Don’t stop… adjust your speed but never ever stop until you reach the finish line.   Take All You Want But Eat All You Take   When I was a kid, my dad always repeated the same thing, every meal.. He said he got it it from the Army (how could it be wrong..? haha):   “Take all You Want But Eat All You Take.”    It’s actually a great mindset when it comes to our projects productivity.  I mean, it’s not limiting an any way… Take all you want.  Start as big a project as you desire.  Set your dreams as high as you want.   BUT...   Eat all you take.  Meaning… if you’re going to pile up your plate, you better make sure you can eat it all.  Finish what you started.     Leftovers on our plate, were eaten the next day… cold.  Cold liver and onions are not that great… even if you like liver.  haha..     I learned how to take a smaller bite… FINISH my plate of food and go in for another serving.  Take all you want, but eat all you take.     Success Isn’t About What’s On Your Plate, It’s About What Isn’t.   Honestly, I find myself sometimes trying to impress people with what I’m doing… not what I’ve done, but what I’m doing…    Seriously, that’s not easy for me to admit.  Sometimes I want people to think I’m doing something amazing… but I’m only doing it, I haven’t finished it.    If you’re in a food eating contesting, it’s not about how many hot dogs are on the plate in front of you, it’s about how many aren’t when the time is up.   Finish Something Today   Figure out what you can FINISH today.  Maybe it’s a big task, a small project, or a major goal you set a while back.  FINISH IT.     If there’s nothing within your sights, reset your definition of “FINISHED.”         In other words, grab a smaller plate and FINISH that plate

I don’t know who first came up with this concept, but I saw as part of list of way to get more done, on the LifeHacker website.   Later this month, I’m going to be flying to Ft. Worth Texas to give a quick presentation at Podcast Movement.   As much as I need to get my notes together and get myself prepped, I honestly was thinking “I can always do that on the plane.”     It’s amazing.  When I think about what i have coming up over the next few weeks, the most focused time I can see is the time I’ll have while stuck in that tiny metal tube flying for 3-4 hours.    But, why can’t I have that same experience without spending hundreds of dollars and being squished up against the big guy next to me and having the kid behind me yanking on my chair?   Sounds so great…  Haha   But I can.    The Strangers Around You   When you’re inside that giant tube, you’re surrounded… even pressed up against all sorts of people.  Probably more people than you have in your office.   But you’re not being pestered like you are at work.    People leave you alone…  you may get a hello, or an excuse me, but there’s no long conversation about how your weekend went… for the most part.   This is why it’s sometimes more productive to head over to a Starbucks or another public place with Wi-Fi.     I recently had to get my iPhone camera fixed and since they said it would only take a couple of hours, I didn’t really have time to go home and then return.  So I went and got an iced tea and sat at the local Starbucks.     A couple of hours of free wi-fi and great passion fruit iced tea and I had a couple of show outlines written.  It was great.   Just like in the plane, I was surrounded by people but I wasn’t wasting my productivity time talking with them about nothing of any real importance.  It was great.   This is a wonderful way to simulate that airplane isolation in a public place.   Disconnected From Down There   Of course, today, for a few dollars you can still have all the distractions you normally have, but not long ago, being on a plane meant no internet, no email, no phone calls even.  Nothing.    As soon as that cabin door closes, you put your phone in “airplane mode” and pull out the in flight magazine.     I’m more a SkyMall kind of guy.  But, even that, doesn’t leave much in the way of distractions.   Obviously, it’s incredibly easy to simulate this situation down here as well.  Just put that phone on Airplane mode and you will NOT be distracted.     Turn off your wi-fi on your laptop too.   If you need help doing this, you can always install a tool called Anti-Social.   It doesn’t block the entire internet, just the sites that distract you the most.  Probably social media sites.     Anti-Social was originally created for Mac but it’s available on Windows machines now too.  It’s $15 but it could mean a HUGE boost in income if you used it to be more productive.    You could always just grab an old computer that doesn’t have a built in wifi card and use it only for writing.  You don’t need a lot of power to use a text editor.  It’s just there to get the words from your head to the screen in front of you.   The World Went On   The weird thing about flying is, when we land and turn on our phone, by and large, the world went on without us.    You may have some “urgent” emails that came in but strangely, some of them have already been addressed before you had a chance to come in and “save the day."   Even when we’re not in the air, we need to remind ourselves.. people can and WILL survive without you.  Your adult kids will figure out how to get the tire fixed.  Your spouse will figure out how to find where you put the giant frying pan.  They can survive.  They’ll do ok.   If you dare put your phone into airplane mode, you’ll force this.  But you can also just let them know… “Listen, for the next 3 hours, pretend I’m on a plane and you can’t reach me.”     That way, if there’s a REAL emergency, you’re available, but for 99% of the stuff going on, you’re not being interupted.   TRY IT TODAY     Go for an Airplane Day.  

I’m sure you’ve had one of those situations in your life where there’s something incredibly irritating to you.  I have... A few weeks ago, a friend of mine came to me and said “Man, I think I’m just not going to hang out with them anymore.  I’m just going to do everything I can to avoid them." But is that best? CAUTION: Listen, what I’m talking about in this episode is an annoying relationship, not a dangerous one.  Remember, if you’re in any sort of danger, you must seek safety.  Don’t justify endangering yourself or your children in an effort to “fix someone.”  Let a professional do that while you’re secluded in safety. So, assuming we’re talking about a non-threatening situation… let’s continue. I hear so many people in the personal development world saying “choose who you surround yourself with.  You don’t need to be around people who you don’t want to be around." But… I’m not sure that’s a response driven by love.  Well, it’s love, but love of self or selfish interests.  I share this all the time… we will find peace in our lives when we are driven by love.   So how do we LOVE those who annoy us or those we don’t feel compatible with?  Maybe even our enemies… What’s it mean to Love our Enemies? First… Ask yourself if the your negative impression of the other person comes from your own animosity.  Maybe It’s Just You One way to do this is to ask others in your social circle if they see the same issues with the other person.  If they don’t… you probably need to look inward even more than you thought.      We all… in EVERY situation need to look at what we can improve internally… but some of these situations may require even more internal review. Pushing Those We Don’t Like Away Is the Cause… not the Solution. One of our deepest core desires is to feel valued and valuable.  When someone becomes difficult to deal with it’s often because they don’t feel valued.      When we push them away, we’re only compounding the situation.       Yes, it’s them who caused the issue but  Create a Security and Negativity Disappears. It’s insecurity that causes people to react in a negative way to others.  Insecurity…       Isolation is not a solution to the problem, it’s simply a removal of it.   Avoiding difficult people, even if it’s just for a short time, is really the act of avoiding an opportunity to improve ourselves. We all want to survive.  Attacking those who threaten us is simply a way for us to attempt survival.       We should ask… what is the threat to this person and why? Avoiding Resistance Perpetuates Weakness Resistance makes us stronger.  Just like in a gym, it’s when you face resistance that your muscles are strengthened.       It’s when we face relationship resistance that our ability to have strong relationships is strengthened. A LOT of people who suggest avoiding those we don’t like are also people who may have external happiness or external signs of happiness, but if you ask them, they don’t feel that internal… that deep happiness.  Those You Spot VS Those Who Spot For You We have to realize the people we hang out with aren’t always our support.. sometimes we’re their support.   Know who you’re spotting for and who you need to spot for you. Listen, if you don’t want to spot for them, why does someone else, stronger than you, want to spot for you.  Maybe you’re their annoying person?      When we realize we’re all connected as one, we understand this doesn’t benefit society as a whole.  It’s not improving anything. Our mission is to love… that’s it.  Love.  

I recorded this episode after taking a week off from most of my business work.  In that week, I discovered a "tool" or even a "resource" which has increased my productivity several times over.  It's also helped me with my self-discipline and mindset.  I even feel a clearly understanding of my purpose.  It's been amazing. So, what is it?  Well, it's the fact that I took a week off.   Seriously, I hope you're not disappointed.  No, it's not something that you can download form the App Store, or purchase from the office supply store. You can't make it or buy it or even borrow it. This is one of those things you just have to go get for yourself. Why It's a Struggle I set myself up with the idea that I was going to put out a show every single day without fail. I love that I set that goal and I have kept to it, even when it's meant working later or extra days, but I did it.  If I hadn't set that goal, it wouldn't have happened. This past week, I "failed" to get out even one episode, but it was different.  Why?  Because it was intentional.  I didn't just let a show slip by and hope I would catch up later.  No, I said to myself (and announced to you on Twitter) that I was going to stop for a week.  Then I did.   I set a return time and I held myself to it, which is what you're listening to right now. This is vital if you don't want to let a week turn into a month and eventually into a even longer.  Set that return date. Don't Take a Break in the Storm Last week, in the past two episodes (147 and 148) I shared about a storm our family was going through at the time.  It was part of the reason I needed a break, but I think an important distinction I made was to press on in the middle of the storm, until the winds had calmed and the seas had flattened.  It was at that point that I said... "let's rest." You never rest in the storm.  You may not be able to do exactly what you were doing before it hit, but you do not want to curl up into a ball and hope for it to go away.  That leads to destruction. I hope you'll take a listen to this episode, because I share openly and candidly about the emotions I felt before doing this and how I feel now.  The written word hardly does it any justice.  So, scroll to the top and listen.  It's about 19 minutes, so it won't take you that long. Once you do, let me know what you think about it all.  Find me on Twitter or send me an email: desmond@pdesmondadams.com Thanks

To many people in the personal development world present a false reality to their audience. They present a view that their life is pretty, clean and packaged perfectly. That's not the way your life is and it's certainly not what my life looks like.  Your life is real. Your life isn’t made up of theories, it’s made up of real situations that aren’t always pretty and packaged up in a neat little bow.  Too much personal development advice is presented in this way.  My life is like yours. Real and very messy sometimes. But your success in life isn’t determined by what others do to you, but how you react to that.   When others bring a mess into your life, you can let that stop you and keep you from where you want to go, or you can bear down and push through and make progress.  When the Storms Raise at Sea One of my dreams is to take up sailing and spend an indefinite amount of time sailing around the world with no schedule and no agenda.  I’ve learned a bit about sailing, including sailing in the midst of a storm. You try to avoid them but sometimes you find you’re stuck in the middle of one and you have to deal with it.   There’s something called furling your sails.  This is when the winds get too strong and you have to shorten your sails to keep the boat under control. You’re reducing what you expect out of your sails. You have to do this in your life sometimes as well.  This doesn’t mean you head to shore, turn around or just sit there. This mean you continue to move forward but you adjust what you’re expecting out of your sails. Adjusting My Expectations I’ve had a storm in life the past 24 hours.  Not a storm I sailed into intentionally, but one that just showed up all of a sudden.  For me, it’s a family member who’s hurt and not dealing with their emotional pains in a healthy way.  You love people but you can’t fix them without their desire to join in on the process.  I’m going on 2 hours of sleep. I’m exhausting and hurting today because of this.  But, I also have made a commitment to bring a new show every weekday. This isn’t the show I expected.  I had to furl my sails today.  So I’m just going from my heart. I’m trusting this will resonate with you.  Trust Your Instinct Listen, sometimes we feel like doing less because we should be doing less. Trust your instinct and measure it against your current knowledge and wisdom from the past. I’m a firm believer that when we trust the spirit within us, amazing things happen and I am trusting this show will have a bigger impact for people than what I had planned.  I wanted to just go to bed.  Felt that before? I said… I’ll just do a 5 minute show and share that life has turmoil sometimes and I’ll mention how we need to press on and do whatever we can.  We have to be in control of life not have life be in control of us.  I plopped myself down and just wanted to write a few notes for an outline. Look at where I am now.  I just took one step. Opened up my Evernote app where I keep my notes and I just started to write.  I want this to be an inspiration to you for the days when you’re overwhelmed. Don’t compound the overwhelm by keeping your sails unfurled.  By that I mean, don’t compound the overwhelm by keeping the same expectations.  I furled my sails and I pressed on through the storm… keep in mind, this isn’t about the past, this is what you’re experience live with this episode.  This isn’t a cute story, this is reality right now.  In doing that, the stronger wins on my furled sails have taken this episode even further than I originally planned.  That’s not uncommon in life. Press On If today is the day, press on.  If today is great for you, remember this episode for the day in the future when you’re in a similar situation. 

We’ve discussed the importance of staying in the moment and focusing on what needs to be done right now rather than consternating checking your progress or comparing yourself to others.  It’s true, it’s important. but…  As with so many other apparently “non-productive” things like play-time, we make them a vital part of our progress when we’re intentional about them.  Down time or play time can be a hurdle for us if we’re not in control of when it happens.  But when we do control it, it’s incredibly beneficial, actually helping us get more done during our non-downtime. Look Up From The Road in Front of You You may know some people who drive with their eyes only looking about 10 to 20 feed in front of them.  That’s not the safest way to drive, but sometimes in life, that’s the best way to get a lot of work done. Just focus on what’s NEXT To continue the metaphor, this is fine when you know had a break, gotten some rest and your tank is full. You have no reason to stop for several miles.  But, you can’t do this indefinitely.  When you do that, you miss the exit sign, or the rest area, or even the “last service station for the next 50 miles” sign.  That’s why you have to be intentional about pulling over and checking the tire pressure, coolant level, stretch your legs and even take a little potty break. Ok… enough of the metaphor.  As this episode is released, it’s the last day of June 2015.  We’re heading into July and we’re even at a the mid point in the year, so you may want to make extra use of this place to look at how your annual goals are doing. Review Your Progress One of the best ways to get more done is to have less to do.  That’s a little odd, but just like a cluttered desk, a cluttered to-do list can be overwhelming and distracting, keeping you from focusing on the items that are most important in your day, or in this case, your month.  Is there something on your to do list that’s been there most of if not all of the past month?   Maybe that’s something that really isn’t as important  Rearview Review Estimate what you can do this next month by using last month as your standard - and eventually several “last months” - evaluate what you were honestly able to get done. Metaphor time… hahaha… I can’t help it.  When my family relocated from Washington State to South Florida, we had a great time driving about 3,000 miles across the country.  It’s one of my favorite memories as a family.  In fact, it’s a driving factor in my desire to someday buy an motor coach and head out across the country again.   When I mapped out our trip, the first day I planned for us to go about 900 miles.  In fact, I booked a hotel room for us before we even left.  Well, at about 1 am, with blurry eyes I could barely keep open, we finally pulled into the hotel parking lot.  Wow…  That was a LONG day.  The next day, I planned on going about 750 miles.  Still, this was a LONG day.  By the 5th and final day, I was planning on doing about 500 (nearly half of my first day) miles.  I had to adjust based on my previous performance.  Otherwise, I was setting unrealistic expectations feeling overwhelmed by what lies ahead of me.  So look back at what you did or didn’t get done in the past month.  Look at the effort it took and be honest with ourself about how much more or less you should be doing. Forward Review Keeping in mind what you didn’t get done from last month, evaluate what you need to do this next month.  Look for items that can be delayed or even eliminated.  This isn’t about procrastination, it’s about planning your schedule so you don’t overestimate what you can do.  It’s about making sure fully focused on a few very high priority items rather than being mentally scattered.  Are there any new projects starting up this month which require you to be finishing up previous items?  Will those new items be more important in the grand scheme of things? What can be delegated to someone assisting you so it’s still getting done but you’re free to do what needs your specific attention? Weekly Breakdown Looking at everything that’s on your schedule or to do list for next month, break them down into weekly tasks.  Your month may look manageable until you realize 90% of your tasks have a deadline at the end of the second week. So manage week by week and look for items which can be shifted without compromising your overall goals. Keep in mind, even though your to do list looks manageable, you may have family or friends visiting from out of town.  Or possibly some travel requirements for yourself which will take over part of a few days at least. In June I had Father’s Day, my birthday and wedding anniversary all within a one week period.  I missed this collision and that’s why I’m publishing Tuesday’s episode on Tuesday evening instead of Tuesday morning.  It’s catch up time now.  That’s bad planning. My workload didn’t change, but capacity did.  Don’t overlook it.  What big events are happening next month? Make sure you’re investing the time in this process.  I realize it can SEEM like wasted time, but it’s not… it’s just like the metaphor about sharpening your saw or ax before heading out to cut down a tree.  What seems like a waste of time really turns into a huge investment.  The work is done more rapidly and the time invested pays a huge dividend. Also make sure you’re doing your weekly and even daily reviews.  Each one should take less time then the other.  Your annual planning may take a full day or even a weekend, monthly planning may be a few hours, weekly planning could be just an hour and your daily could just be 10 minutes.   If you put off any of the items in that sequence, you’re going to compound the problem further down the line. Take the time and do that monthly review.  I hope you had a great June and you’re looking forward to an amazing July.  At the end of July, I’ll be heading to Fort Worth for Podcast Movement and even doing a quick 10 minute presentation on Friday.  If you’re going, please reach out and let me know.  There are few things I want to do there more than meeting you, a listener to this show.  Let’s grab lunch, coffee or even a drink.  I would love to say hello. 

I wish every person I love would listen to what's on this episode.  I'm honestly incredibly proud of what is put out on here.  In fact, I believe this is one of those moments when I just let the Infinite wisdom of the Universe speak through me. We only get stronger physically when we engage in physical resistance, like weight training.  We purposely cause ourselves to confront and deal with that sort of resistance. But, why don't we do the same thing emotionally? In fact, emotionally, we oftentimes work tirelessly to avoid the resistance that comes naturally.  We hope that we can some day have enough financially to help us avoid the resistance that comes emotionally. Listen to this episode and share it with everyone you know so they can realize that the pain we're struggling through right now is going to make us strong so the burdens which will come in the future will be much lighter. The past way for me to make your life better is to help you struggle through the burdens of today.

You know that feeling… when you put on your favorite jeans and … uh oh, they’re a little snug.  Or you look down at your shirt and you notice the buttons are straining a little more than you’d like, to keep things closed up. That’s what happened to me.  Why Physical Success Has Been a Struggle For Me Two things that work against me…  I LOVE food.  Seriously…  The other thing, I don’t don't LOVE exercise.  I love competitive sports, but just getting out and going for run around the neighborhood, or picking up some weights and doing some curls…  It’s boring to me. This Is Why I'm Using the MyFitnessPal App and Website Here's how this fantastic app works: You start off simple. How many calories go in versus many calories are consumed How much do you weigh? How much do you want to lose (or gain) per week (up to 2 lbs a week)  Then it knows how many calories you need to reach that goal How active are you? It then adjust your calorie goal based on that projected activity level and then  adjust it based on your real activity level. Now you know how many calories you can consume each day and still hit your weight loss. For me, given my current weight, I can consume 1,427 calories per day if I want to lose 2 lbs per week.   I’m mildly active so it adds in 25-30 calories for exercise which brings me to about 1,450 calories per day. It adjusts based on your actual activity level (iPhone Health app - MapMyRun - FitBit - More) Set Your MacroNutrient Ratios If you’re a low fat person, you your fat percentage goal at 20% - 40% Protein and 40% Carbs.  It will give you a scale to monitor. If you add a food item to a meal, it will tell you right then and there that you’ve gone over or that this food is high in a nutrient you’re trying to keep low. You can monitor this closely Adding Food You’ve Eaten This is the beauty of this app. There are SO MANY items. I love using the barcode scanner.  It has yet to miss an item.   Everything I’ve scanned has been in the system.  It’s amazing.  You can search for homemade or store bought foods There’s a massive database.  People are adding the most popular recipes from you favorite websites like Food.com, AllRecipes, Epicurious, MyRecipe, and more If it’s not there…  You can add recipes Easy to add recipes - Type in the web address of the recipe, make sure it’s imported everything correctly and tell it how much you ate.  All done. Checks your Step Count Automatically As you walk through your day, MyFitnessPal will automatically update based on the number of steps you take.  This is already built into your iOS device, and I believe into many Androids. If you do more than walking, just enter it like you do your food.  The database is full of exercises.  Crossfit WOD’s? They’re in the system.  Your favorite machine at the gym? It’s in the system. This is the beauty of the app Measure Your Results Obviously, it tracks your weight whenever you update it It can also track any other measurement you’d like.  BodyFat Waist size Neck Size Hips…  Blood Pressure (the machine at the pharmacy) Cholesterol (blood work) Everything is easy to track.  Social Support There’s even a social element to the app as others you know who use the app see your updates and give you encouragement.  It’s not on your Facebook page, if you don’t want it to be.  They see it when they check in with their app, so it’s not public.   It’s a Great App to Make Sure You Stay on Target Like your time meter Like your financial budget You don’t just use it when you’re in trouble… use it to keep you OUT of trouble. Success is a well rounded life.  Not a well rounded body… 

As I mention in the intro, this show focuses on something I like to call “success for failures.”  The only thing is… most of us who have been made to feel like failures have so because we haven’t been able to do well on the "Grit Test." The Grit Test The Grit Test was developed by Harvard Research Angela Duckworth. She went over decades of data on what brought people to greatness in life and she came up with two major factors: People who didn’t change course just because they wanted a change. Something new. People who didn’t change course just because the current one become difficult. Maybe that’s you. As you can see, at the core of what she looked at was the ability to stick to the course you’re one. Basically … GRIT. Making it to the finish line…  G-R-I-T Predicts Success More Than S-A-T Angela Duckworth took her study of grit to Penn State She tested incoming students and found the ones with a high grit score but a low entrance exam, ended up having a higher GPA than those with a lower Grit score but higher SAT.  Smarter Kids Don’t Have to Try As Hard Looking further into the studies of Angela Duckworth, we see how she discovered young children in a spelling bee who had a higher grit score but lower verbal IQ ended up doing just as well as students with a higher IQ and lower Grit score. This means yes, the kids with a higher IQ could perform as well without trying as hard.  But…  Here’s some hope for you…  Her studies indicated, even the kids with lower IQ’s and less self-control (less fidgety and able to do what they’re told) who had a high grit score ended up doing just as well as the kids with higher IQ’s.  So Do You Have Grit? Let’s look at how you do on the grit test.  You have to be honest or you’re not going to find out anything real.  TAKE THE GRIT TEST Here are my results: Total = 33 (average 2.75) I will say… that’s tough to see… but it also lets me know.. I have to remind myself all the time to push on… show that grit.  Keep going when I want to quit.  Being conscious of it is what will help you overcome. I’ve increased my number from where I was 10 years ago, I know that for sure.  So can you.  Call to Action Take the grit test and see what you come up with.  Let me know what you get.   

Today, the 22nd, as I record this, is my birthday. Along with birthdays comes…  birthday … cake. Wow, I can NOT focus after that piece of birthday cake.  I’m telling you, I’m distracted and unable to finish what I’ve started. It’s a struggle to do the outline for this show.  Let’s talk about why this happens and what we can do to not only avoid it, but reverse the scenario, and it doesn't just come from cake.  Glucose is Our Fuel Glucose is what most of our food turns into and it’s what we need for energy.  Without it, we crash and burn. We have zero energy. Research indicates the optimum level of glucose in our blood stream is 25 grams.  That’s about what you’ll get from one banana but keep in mind, that glucose is consumed over time. So you have to work at keeping your levels balanced. Too high and you suffer, too low and you suffer. You can do that by regulating your intake through grazing or by eating foods that are low on the Glycemic Index, which means they release glucose more slowly…  Amino Acids Tyrosine is an amino acid that makes you feel energized and alert. It is one of the ones that can cross the blood-brain barrier.  Tryptophan is another one, which has a calming effect. Foods that are high in Tyrosine and are Low GI foods: Seaweed Salmon Turkey Egg Whites Parmesan Cheese Shrimp / Crab / Lobster Pork Mustard Greens Fish, Tuna Spinach Pumpkin Seeds High Glycemic foods (AVOID): White Breads Corn Flakes, Puffed Rice White Rice Pretzels Popcorn Potatoes Mac & Cheese Think about what most kids are eating today in the West.  Is it any wonder we think they all have ADHD? I would love to know if you have a snack you enjoy which doesn't cause you to crash and burn in the afternoons.

Follow me for a minute…  Every once in a while, you may look at someone else and think “wow, they are messed up.”  Every once in a while, someone may look at you and think “Wow, they are messed up." Every once in a while, someone may look at that person and think “Wow, they are messed up. Possible?  Agree? Every single person can have someone else look at them and think “Wow, they are messed up." Do you think, if you followed this along for 10, 20, 100 or 1000 levels or more, you’d eventually get to someone who just has it all figured out and they’re doing fantastic? Following this path, do you think this is a progression UPWARD in character? Is this is character pyramid and there’s one person at the very top who has it all figured out and is beyond the judgement of others? No.  you’re right.  The person we reach after following this path for 1,000 occurrences probably has 10 people who could look at certain areas of their life and think “Wow, they are messed up." In fact, here’s what we’d find out.   Some of those people who are looking judgmentally at that 1,000th person were ones someone looked down at 300 people ago, or 250 people ago. The truth is, it’s all a giant CIRCLE of judgement. After we’re gone through 1,000 iterations of judgement, we’re guaranteed to have a good number of the people who were judged earlier, back in the judgement game again.   It’s almost like a never ending game of leap frog.  Once someone jumps over you, it’s time to get back in line waiting for your next turn to jump over someone else… and then have someone jump over you. It’s the Judgement Circle, inside of which we all get trapped. A perpetual game of judgement. There’s only one escape route… and that’s to refuse to get back in line once someone has jumped over (or judged) you.  Just don’t get back in line waiting to jump over (or judge) someone else.   When we jump out of the chain, we set ourselves apart from that game. BE CAREFUL! - This is a prime place to start judging in another way.  “Those fools and all their judgement games.”  Ah hah! See, there you area again, back in the game yourself. We won’t completely eliminate the judgement others have on us, but we will slow it down dramatically. Continue on this path and I promise, you’ll see an EXPONENTIAL DECREASE in the judgement you experience in your life.   By the very nature of things, you’ll find you change who you spend time with in life and you will decrease the power of those who are still in the chain.  Remember what I always say: Change the world around you by changing the world within you.  It will be like avoid your greatest food temptation.  Maybe it’s a the perfect piece of chocolate or a beautiful basket of fried onion rings (I’m more of a crunchy salty person when it comes to temptation).  The less you taste of it, the less your craving for it becomes.  The more you see the benefits of avoiding it, the greater your ability to resist it. Call to Action Start this with baby steps, as I always say.   Today, when you are tempted to even THINK judgementally towards someone, don’t do it. Call yourself out and say, even out loud, if you can “I don’t know that persons situation. I don’t know what brought them here. I know they have strengths where I have weaknesses. I will allow them to be them." Something along those lines to remind yourself, you may be able to jump over them (or judge them) in this area, but further down the chain, in another area, they’re going to be able to jump over you.   Just one time… and then remember it.  Tomorrow try to do it two times you’re tempted. Or even today.   Just work at it, consciously avoiding the opportunity to jump into The Judgement Circle.  Oh, yes, you’re right… I mess this up more times than I care to think.  But, I consciously work to avoid the circle.  That’s what I’m hoping you’ll do as well. We’re all in this together, all “failures” in some area of life, working towards success in others.  Continuously improving and celebrating together.

If you listened to this past Tuesday’s episode, I shared with you some ways you can help yourself become more productive, as I do every Tuesday.   One of those ways I suggested was to create deadlines with very real consequences.  The kind of consequences you’re going to do whatever you can to avoid.  Today I’m sharing with you and app that will help you do exactly that.   Stickk -  This is an app that comes out of Yale University.  It’s legit.  It’s got a lot of science behind it and it works!   Professor Dean Karlan teaches Economics and Professor Ian Ayers teaches law, both at Yale University.  They partnered with one of their students, Jordan Goldberg, to create a tool they knew would help people achieve their goals, and it works. Here’s why…  Stickk gives you a platform where you can create what the founders call Commitment Contracts. This is a contract you create with YOURSELF, but… there’s more to it than that.  We’ve all tried that and seen it fail time and time again.  A Commitment Contract involves accountability and the power of “loss aversion." You know what accountability is, but what about LOSS AVERSION? You can figure out from the name, it’s about avoiding loss.  But why?  Why not just be motivated by gain? Scientific studies suggest people are TWICE as motivated by avoiding loss than achieving a gain. People who lose $100 will be emotionally impacted more than someone who gains $100.   It’s because we don’t value what we don’t have.  The potential to gain $100 will not motivate you as much as the real potential to lose $100.  That’s the science, in a nutshell, of “Loss Aversion." Here’s how it works: Stickk has some predefined goals which you can use or even customize them to meet your needs. If those don’t work, you have the ability to build your own goal from scratch.  So, you start by creating a goal and then laying out the parameters of that goal.  What will it take to achieve that goal and what are the specific things you have to do to get there? Now, here’s where Stickk kicks in with some very real and powerful features.  Losing Money and Having an Honest Referee.  The creators of Stickk state that their data shows, people who have a referee to whom they’re accountable, are TWICE as likely to reach their goal.  People who have something financially significant at stake are up to THREE times as likely to achieve their goal. Put the power of both of those items together and you have Stickk. When you sign in, you’ll have the opportunity to create a Commitment Contract where you can put something financial on the line.  They don’t charge you ANYTHING unless you tell them you want to make the financial commitment and then only after you don’t achieve your goal.  So, what keeps us from cheating and just saying we did it?  A referee who will look at your Commitment Journal to determine if you’re reaching your goal.  This journal is where you can post screenshots or pictures of you doing what you said you would do. Now, it’s not just about having someone lord over you, it’s also about support.  You can add in supporters who can see your commitment and progress and then cheer you along.  It’s the perfect combination to getting where you want to be in life.  Your referee can be anybody you’d like. Each time you take action toward your goal, you submit that information to Stickk and your referee will get an email saying you submitted something to your Stickk account.  If they’d like, they can ask you for additional proof that you did what you said you did, or be satisfied with what you submitted.   You’re really empowering your referee.  So, choose someone you trust but also make sure it’s someone you know will hold you accountable.  Here’s how you miss a goal: You admit you missed it. Your referee reports that you missed it You don’t submit a commitment report in the time window you specified. When you miss, if you have a financial stake included, your credit or debit card will be charged for the amount you set at the beginning. As of this podcast, there is $21 million on the line for commitments.   There are just under 300,000 commitments.  That’s an average of about $72 on the line for each commitment.  Make sure you choose an amount that’s going to HURT if you lose it. Where does the money go? You decide that.  You can have it go to someone you want, or even have it go to a charity.  Stickk holds the money for the charities and sends them all the stake money at one time at the end of the year.  Some of the organizations they support are: Feed the Children Doctors without Borders United Way and several others.  Here’s a fun twist.   You can create an Anti-Charity as a recipient of your stake. This is a group or organization you would NEVER want to support financially.  That adds a HUGE motivator for some people.  How’s this for some controversial groups? Abortion American’s United for Life NARAL Pro-Choice America Foundation Gun Rights Educational Fund to Stop Gun Violence NRA Foundation Political Groups A PAC supporting Republicans A PAC supporting Democrats Or if you’re in the UK: A Liberal Democrat group A Conservative group A Labour group Various football (or soccer) fan clubs such as  Arsenal Chelsea Liverpool Manchester United So, I’m sure you can see how this could be VERY motivating if you choose to put enough on the line.  For some of these more issues, any amount would be agonizing… for a Chelsea fan to give a penny to the Man U fan club is traumatizing. Create some of your own… maybe your ex-husband or ex-wife.  Maybe your brother who’s living in your basement supposedly unable to get a job.  I’m sure you can think of some people to whom you don’t want to send ANY money. Call to Action Sign up and make a commitment contract for yourself.  If you’d like me to referee, I’d love to help out.  You’ll find me in the system as “PDesmond.”

Events don’t have meaning - We give the events meaning The meaning of events exists only in our mind.  Outside of our mind, the events have no meaning at all.  Our emotional response to events comes from the meaning we give them and the way we FEEL about that meaning.  So, given the fact that our emotions are based on our reaction to the meaning of an event and we create the meaning of the event, then we control our emotions.  Peace doesn’t come when we have peace around us, but when we have peace within us.  See, we give events meaning in our minds. Our emotional response to events is based on the meaning they have. So when we have peace within, it doesn’t matter what happens outside of us, we will have peace.  Peace is independent of what is happening around us. Let’s look at how one may react to a particular situation given our internal state. Saturday morning, you open up your weather app and you see that it’s supposed to be 95 degrees with nothing but sunshine.  How do you react to that? If you were planning on going to the beach and spending some time in the water with your family, that’s a fantastic event.  This means the water is going to feel great and the sun will help us get a tan.  If you were planning on pulling out some old tree stumps in the yard, that’s a horrible forecast.  It’s going to be hot and the sun is provably going to burn you.   The event is the exact same thing… a weather forecast.  The meaning of the event is determined internally.  If you just planted some grass seed and it starts raining, you react with happiness.  This will help. If your lawn needs to be mowed and it starts raining, you react disappointed, as you won’t be able to cut it until tomorrow.  There’s a verse in the the book of Matthew that says the rain falls on those who are good and those who are bad.  The rain has no meaning.  One sees the rain as good and the other bad.  Tomorrow it could be reversed.  The rain has no meaning.  Here’s a Personal Example - My View of Myself as Not Good Enough.  I’m in my late 40’s and my entire life, I’ve had a limiting belief that I was inferior to others.  I wasn’t as good as my brothers and pretty much anyone else who I worked or lived life with.  I’ve shared this with you before, I’m the youngest in my family and honestly, I don’t have a lot of memories of my parents telling me I wasn’t good enough, but I do have a LOT of memories of that being associated with my older brothers.  They’re about a year apart in age. This means, they did a lot of things at the same time.  Tying shoes, riding a bike, hitting a baseball and learning to throw a football. I was 4 and 5 years younger than them which isn’t a big deal at age 47, or even 27, but when you’re 7 and they’re 11 and 12, that’s a lifetime of difference, almost literally twice my age. They had learned twice as much as I had and they were at least twice as good as I was. Because kids that age were able to go further from the house, our street would often have teenagers playing football or baseball with kids from several streets over.  There never were that many kids on my street that were my age.  So I was trying to fit in and play with kids who ere almost twice my age. You can imagine how this made me feel.  The one thing everyone valued, throwing or catching a football, or throwing, hitting and catching a baseball, I sucked at.  This made me feel like I wasn’t good enough.  My brothers, like a LOT of older siblings, were pretty much forced to watch their little brother if they wanted to go do something.  Mom and dad would say keep an eye on your little brother.” But I wasn’t bad at everything, only the thing that this group was really good at, sports. As I got older, even in middle school, I never wanted to play team sports.  I always opted to run laps around the baseball field instead of actually playing baseball. In high school, I didn’t try out for football or baseball, but instead, I joined the track team where I could compete on my own. I was good at running. I was also good at being goofy and entertaining people.  But that wasn’t really valued when you’re trying to beat the kids from the next block over. In fact, it was seen as a negative.  “Come on, be serious, focus!”  Focus? I was the "King of Imagination.:  I could take my GI Joe Command RV center and play for hours on end in my room.  I remember having a rock fireplace and I would take my little army men and have them mount massive battles that would last two or three hours.  Focus?  That means turning off my imagination. Imagine if we had a street full of kids all doing a talent show, with magic, juggling, ventriloquism and puppets.  How much of an expert would that jock feel like?  They can throw a ball, big deal, that doesn’t win you much in a talent show. All of a sudden they would have thoughts like “I’m not good enough." I Gave Meaning to That Event.  There was no meaning in those footballs games other than the meaning I gave them in my own mind.  Because I wanted to fit in with my older brothers and their friends, the meaning of the football game was HUGE.  It determined whether I was good enough or not.  This is why it’s SO important to invest in offering your kids activities in which they can do well.  Have a boy who loves to dance? Don’t take him to try out for baseball, even if you played it and you can’t wait to coach the team. He’s going to grow up feeling like he’s not good enough, in general.  Have a little girl who loves to build stuff in the garage? Mom, you need to take her to Home Depot for those fun weekend DIY workshops, even though you really wanted to help choreograph the dance recital because you loved to dance.  Know Your Real Identity To this day, I have moments when I struggle and am influenced by my inability to do the things my siblings and peers are capable of doing.   I will say, I’ve become a LOT stronger than ever and I understand my gifting and where my talents lay.  I know my gift is in communications and entertainment, not in piecing together the electronics needed to put on the show or course or whatever. I’ve become so confident in my own ability in my own areas of expertise that I’m no longer intimidated by the pressures put on my by others.  So much so, I was recently told I was being riightously indignant because I wouldn’t allow someone else to tell me I wasn’t as good of a person because I wasn’t talented in the same areas they were talented. It hurt, but I know why it was said. I’m ok with it.  But, I’m not going to leave the door wide open to it. You Are Good Enough Understand, you may have a very narrow area of talent, but that talent is important if you make it important.  Surround yourself with people who don’t value it, and you’ll feel like you’re a worthless excuse for a life.   When you shift over to a group who value your very narrow and specialized gift and you’ll suddenly feel like the world couldn’t go on without you. My life and my sense of worth changed 180 degrees when I went from working in a lab inventing electronic material compounds to being the goofy sidekick on a morning radio show. I was told I had an amazing talent for connecting with people emotionally and that I would go far with that gift.  WHAT?  I thought that gift was a burden… at least it seemed like one when PhD’s were in a lab doing experiments and I was cracking jokes.  Haha…  Call to Action So, understand your place and don’t let others values determine your value.  Remember, the events in your life have no meaning other than the meaning YOU put on them.  

Truth is, you’re incredibly unlikely to reach any goal you set if you don’t have the habits needed to make it happen. If it’s going to be grueling work the entire time, you’re increasing your chances for failure several times over. Last Wednesday we talked about how we can lose our willpower and self-discipline when it’s needed in numerous areas at the same time. Discover Where You’ll Need Will Power Let’s say you set a goal of “fitting into your old prom dress before your class reunion in 9 months." If that’s your goal, you’re immediately going to start doing some things that probably aren’t habits for you at this point.  Thinks like: Eating less calories each day Increasing the amount of water you drink Decreasing the number of carbs in your diet Running or biking several times a week Incorporating some resistance training and Getting enough sleep. If you try to do ALL of those things at the exact same time, you’re probably going to fail.  Your willpower and self-discipline is going to be so incredibly fatigued that you will probably fail. But, most of us don’t really sit down and think about those things when we set the goal of “Fit into my old prom dress before the class reunion in 9 months." Break Down The Goal Into The Needed Habits Look at any one of your biggest goals, maybe launching a podcast, or starting an online business, or maybe learning to play the guitar.  Look at that goal and write down the habits you’d need to have in order to support that goal. Honestly evaluate whether each one of those items is already a habit of yours. Make the Habit The Goal First Once you have the list of habits, decide if any of them will support or help learning additional habits. For example, if reading 15 minutes a day is a habit, that might be a good one to focus on first, because it can help support your habit of writing every day.  But don’t do them both at the same time.  Make reading a habit then work on making writing a habit.  Spend your willpower energy on one habit at a time until the energy it takes is so small, you can easily start the next habit.  Some say it’s 21 days and others say it’s over 60, on average.  Some things may take even longer.  As you do this, you’ll find that the goal you had set will start to take care of itself. The pieces will all fall together and it will seem that you’re barreling towards your bigger goal at a speed you never imagined and it’s seeming like it’s taking no effort at all.  One desired habit until it’s developed, then go on to the next one.  This means you may have to project out a bit further when it comes to the ultimate goal, but it’s well worth it when you realize your chances for success have increased dramatically.  Habits Cross-Over and Benefit Future Goals That’s more good news in this, the more you develop habits to support your goals, the more habits you’ll have for future goals.  There are some habits that will cross over into other areas.  In the future you won’t have to develop those ones as they’re already there for you. This is why it seems successful people can be successful at so many things in life.  I mean the really truly successful, not just the ones making a lot of money.  Remember, money doesn’t define success.  This is how some people are said to have “the Midas Touch” which means “everything they touch turns to gold.”  It’s because they’ve got the core habits already in place.   Call to Action Look at your biggest goal up ahead.   Write done the habits you’ll need to accomplish the goal Focus on the one habit which will have the greatest impact on the other habits and the eventual goal.

If you're anything like me, you do your best work when you're facing a very real deadline with serious consequences or when you're part of group who you need to keep up with cause the entire group to fall behind. In this episode, we look at ways we can capitalize on this for increasing our daily productivity.  Give these a try in your day and let me know what worked best for you. Surround Yourself With More Productive People Hire an employee who runs faster than you. Someone you have to work at to keep up with. Someone who is nipping at your heels and ready to do your job.  This will make you feel like you’re falling behind every step of the way.  Talk about last minute… talk about forcing you to do more.  Join a Group Who Are Doing More Than You. I experienced this lesson myself this past year, with this podcast.  I went with a friend of mine, Jeff Brown, the host of the Read to Lead Podcast, which I highly recommend you listen to regularly, to New Media Expo in Las Vegas.  Jeff, my friend, was a superstar at this event. People were walking up to Jeff, excited to meet him and talk to him about how he does his show.   Even people who were incredibly successful with their business were thrilled to say high to Jeff.   AND THEY SHOULD BE.. he’s an incredible talent and does a great job.   But, Jeff and I have very similar backgrounds in broadcasting.  We have been coached by the same people and even done national radio shows on the same exact network.  He ran one station on our network while I ran another one… a bigger one… with a bigger audience.  Not because I’m better, it’s just because there’s a larger potential audience.  This was my peer and he had jumped WAY ahead of me…  I had fallen behind.   What was his secret?  What was the magic ingredient that put him further ahead?   Jeff consistently, without fanfare put out a very high quality show every week.  Nearly without fail. This motivated me to make that a priority for me.  Consistently put out a great show, for me, every day.  That was going to be my one singular focus.  That is what comes first for me each day in my business.  Do that show and then when that’s done, do whatever else fits in. SO…  Surround Yourself With People Ahead of You.   Create Deadlines with CONSEQUENCES Another way to do give yourself the sense that you’re falling behind is to actually have deadlines which you risk missing. Have you created deadlines for your tasks or just dates when you hope they’ll be done? This is especially important when you’re self-employed. You set the deadlines. Of course, clients can do that for you too, but what about when your clients quietly disappear when you miss a deadline?  IF you’re a blogger or podcaster, or maybe you have a YouTube channel?  What about when you can say “Well, that’s ok, I’ll just skip this week…. “ ? You have to create deadlines with consequences.  A great way to do this is with an accountability partner or group.  A mastermind... This is one of the huge benefits of a mastermind group.  When you say to your peers “I’ll have X done by next weeks meeting.” You then have to put your character on the line.  You have to put your ego on the line.  If you’re mastermind group or accountability partners aren’t challenging you to keep your bond, you have to find another group.  You need people who aren’t afraid to call you out in a very serious way when you repeatedly fail. You have to create a false boss who you fear failing as much as you would a real boss. This is why a personal trainer will help people get into shape -  If you work out five days a week and meet with a trainer one day, you will put more into those other 4 days because you don’t want to have to face them and say “I didn’t do what I told you I would do.” Apps Available There are some apps available that will help with this as well.  They create very real consequences for failing to hit your goals.  I’m going to save these for this Friday’s episode.  Each Friday I like to share a tool or resource which you can try out over the weekend.  This last week, I shared the Hours and Jiffy apps for tracking your time during the day so you can find out what’s causing so much of it to seemingly disappear.   I’m still using Hours even as I write these notes.  It’s helped tremendously. This Friday I’ll share a few apps for keeping yourself accountable for what you promise you’re going to do. Call to Action Force yourself to fall behind today.  Not by doing nothing… fall behind by surrounding yourself with people who are just ahead.   Create or join a mastermind or accountability group. Do something to help you feel like you have very read deadlines. Create task deadlines and tell someone about them so you have to fess up if you don’t achieve them.