Podcasts about Baby Got Back

Power of Dirndls and Lederhosen: Part 2Hans finds his confidence and the fraulein, too.Based on the post by cb summers, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Connected.PART TWO – October 6, 1992Normally I found it impossible to be spontaneous around hot chicks like this, but something about being in that costume, thinking about my grandfather's irrepressible charm brought out a boldness in me which I didn't normally possess. I put my arm around this hot, blue-eyed fraulein and said, in my worst German accent, “Yah, and dis here is mein liebchen, Helga Boob en schteen.”She corrected me comically, “Not Boob en schteen, Boob en schtein!” Everyone in the entire room laughed themselves silly. Then Helga loudly introduced the girls. “May I introducen mein fellow pledges from ze Tau Nu Upsilon Sorority? Ya, dis here is Gertruda Cock en suck en.”Everyone laughed at her crude pun, but I clicked my heels together very seriously, like a proper Austrian man, and said “Guten abend, Gertruda,” then I bowed and kissed the back of the adorable redhead's soft little hand.Helga went on, pointing to a busty little African American girl, who looked quite stunning in her bright orange dirndl. “And zis here is little Heidi Ho. Yah, she's an actual ho!” I clicked my heels together, and kissed Heidi's hand. “And dis vun here ist Muschi von Kitten licker.” Muschi, who had short black hair and snow-white skin, leaned forward and presented her cheek to me, so I kissed it, laying my lips on the second female of my life. Her skin was as soft as silk.Helga gestured toward a cute blonde with bright pink circles painted on her cheeks, saying, “And, finally, mein beste freunden, Hildegard Fuck me up the ass en stein, the third.” Hildegard laughed, then turned and wiggled her ass at me. I bowed deeply and said, “Very nice to meet you, Herr Fuck me up the ass en stein.” She wiggled her ass again, right in my face, so I leaned down a little farther and kissed her right on her behind, and the crowd went wild. I was surprising the shit out of myself. My grandfather's DNA was having a field day with my confidence. I raised my oversized prop stein, and shouted, “Beer! Ve must haff beer!”Helga had an identical stein, and so we filled them together from the keg and chugged them while everyone clapped, until they were empty. I saw that beer was leaking out of her defective stein and dripping all over her glorious, copper colored cleavage, making her white top wet enough for me to see the lacy blue bra she was wearing under it. Oh shit. I couldn't take my eyes off her tits. She caught me looking, but instead of getting mad, she just looked down at her breasts and said, “Oops. I can be zo clumzy zometimes, liebchen! You know how I am!” She ran her fingers over her soaked cleavage.I don't know what came over me, but I took her wrist in my hand and said, clicking my heels together, “Allow me, fraulein Boob en schtein.” And I wrapped my lips around her fingertips and licked them dry of beer. She just stared at me with the biggest smile on her face, and her eyes twinkling. My god! Who was I?I had no idea what to do next, but some joker saved me by playing a polka on the stereo. Without missing a beat, Helga shouted, “Shall ve dance, mein liebchen?” She didn't even wait for me to answer. She just grabbed my hand and dragged me to the middle of the floor and we started to polka.I'd been to a few polkas when I was a kid, so I knew the basic moves, and a few of the special ones, and I guess Helga had been to a few polkas too, because she kept right up with me. Soon, everyone was clapping and cheering and snapping photographs, and at least ten others, who knew how to polka, joined in, including Heidi Ho! Where a black girl learned to polka is anybody's guess. When the song finally ended, I lifted my stein and shouted the traditional Oktoberfest starting cheer, which for some reason popped to mind even though I thought I'd forgotten it years ago “O' zapft is! The Keg Is Tapped! Let Oktoberfest Begin!”After the ear-splitting cheer, the music switched back to hip hop, and the lights dimmed, and the disco lights began to flash, and soon Helga and I were dancing in the center of a crowd, this time gyrating like fools, just like everyone else on the dance floor. By the third song, I was utterly smitten with her. She had such a bold, fearless spirit, that I just let all of my nerdy inhibitions go, and danced, not caring how stupid I looked, because my eyes were glued to her. Her breasts. Her coppery face. Her stunning, sky-blue eyes. And she was looking right back at me, sometimes smiling, but sometimes with an expression on her face that reminded me of the expression I'd seen on Briona's face while Troy was fucking her. Damn. Helga was giving me sex face! It was unbelievably cool!The third song was a raunchy rap song that was bit that year, Baby Got Back, and suddenly Heidi Ho, Helga's black friend, appeared in front of me and started grinding her ass against my crotch. I'd never danced like this before, but there were other couples doing it, so I put my hands on her hips and grinded away. I started to get a boner, so I turned around, afraid she might feel it. But then Gertruda Cocken sucken, an adorable freckle-faced girl, with vivid red hair, started grinding her ass into my crotch instead, apparently unconcerned about the fact that I was rubbing my erection against her. Or maybe even enjoying it! It was an incredible feeling. Then Heidi put her arms around me from behind, and started grinding her crotch against my ass, and now I was sandwiched between two Bavarian hotties, feeling Heidi's firm tits rubbing all over my back. My mind was now officially blown. But I rolled with it. Why the fuck not? It was Oktoberfest!Midnight in the campus park.Then when that song ended, Hildegard Fuck me up the ass en stein switched with Heidi, and Helga von Boob en schtein switched with Gertruda, and now I was feeling Helga's large, coppery tits flopping back and forth across my back. Hildegard was a bit drunk by this time, so she leaned forward and started rubbing her ass up and down, grinding her pussy against my cock, making it look exactly like I was fucking her. She even started making orgasmic sounds. And I realized that in all likelihood, my cock was actually rubbing against more than just her ass. In fact, it might be rubbing right against her tight little pussy! Shit, this was getting way out of hand! Then I noticed that the older sisters in her sorority were watching us with great amusement. Maybe this was part of their initiation ceremony. But I didn't care. If she wanted to dry hump me in a room full of people, more power to her. She even grabbed my wrists and pulled my hands up to her tits! Oh shit! They weren't all that big, but I could feel the hard lumps of her nipples bouncing under my fingers as I squeezed her little grapefruits.I began to feel the warning signs of an impending orgasm coming on strong. Oh my god, I was going to blow my load feeling the first tits of my life! But at just the last minute, the final girl in Helga's harem, Muschi von Kittenlicker, pushed Hildegard aside, but instead of grinding her ass against mine, she faced me and started gyrating against me in time with Helga behind me. Now two sexy women were rubbing her tits against me, and my cock got enough of a reprieve that my urge to cum faded mercifully away.Muschi's paper pale face was flush with devastating sexiness, but she wasn't looking at me. She was looking past me at Helga. And in spite of how much I was enjoying this once-in-a-lifetime experience, I think I detected pure infatuation in Muschi's expression. She didn't make eye contact with me even once, but she kept licking her lips as if she wanted to kiss someone. I bent toward her, suddenly excited about kissing another girl, but she just shifted to the other side, her eyes staring past me, and looking down at Helga's ample cleavage. Oh shit, she wants to kiss her friend! I turned to look at Helga's beautiful copper colored face in the flashing disco light, but she appeared to be totally unaware of Muschi's lustful looks.The song changed, and now all the Bavarian girls crowded around me and began to rub their bodies and asses, all over me. It was dark, and the lights were flashing, and I had no idea who was who, but my hand definitely squeezed another girl's breast for a few seconds, maybe Heidi Ho's and I also fondled a couple of their asses, running my fingers over their delightful ass-cracks. It was almost like I was in some kind of fully clothed orgy!But then, halfway through the song, a hand grasped mine, and pulled me off the dance floor. It was Helga Boobenschtein. She grinned back at me as she pulled me out the front door, leaving her friends behind, obviously sick of sharing me with them. She wanted me all to herself. That was just fine with me. It was getting pretty weird anyway. Helga and I ran hand in hand through the campus, laughing like lunatics. I suppose the beer had gone to our heads, because we were utterly silly with hilarity. I never was much of a drinker. When we'd run ourselves tired, we sat down on a bench, still holding hands.After she caught her breath, she said in her regular voice, “I lied to you earlier, my name's not really Helga Boobenschtein.”“Ach du lieber! I'm shocked! Is it Boobenschteen after all?”She laughed and said, “No. My real name is Annie Stoltz. And yes, that is a German name.”I dropped the accent and said, “You sure don't look German!”“No, my mother's Brazilian. I got my black hair and dark skin from her. But I learned to polka from my dad. He also gave me these eyes.” Indeed, her eyes were the most amazing baby-blue color I'd ever seen. They almost glowed against her copper colored face.“Well, I have a surprise for you too. I'm not really Helmutt von Wiener. My name is Hans Willis.”Annie laughed, “You have German name too? That's too perfect!”“My grandpa's from Austria, and my grandma from my mother's side is Bavarian.”“Oh my god. What are the odds that two half-Germans would meet at an Oktoberfest party in Illinois, dressed in matching costumes? It's a good thing I don't believe in fate, or I'd say it was fate.”I laughed, “I don't believe in fate, either, but show me the evidence, and I'll be happy to reconsider. But in any large sampling, like life, coincidences are bound to happen. And they have to happen to somebody. In this case, to us.”“Spoken like a true scientist, Hans.”I smiled. But for some reason, I wanted to avoid talking about science. That's what had derailed my date with Briona. So instead I said, “That party was off the hook!”She blushed. “I'm sorry about the girls. They're a bunch of sluts. Except for Muschi, her real name is Barbara. She's a lesbian.”“Yeah. I kinda noticed. And I think she has the hot for you, Annie.”Annie laughed, “I know. I know. I keep telling her I'm not into it, but she just won't give up. But I love her to death. And you enjoyed our little dance, didn't you?”I had no words for how much I'd enjoyed our dance. So I just blushed and smiled.She laughed and squeezed my hand, giving me a strange erotic thrill. Then she said, “I've seen you around the labs. What's your major?”“General science.”She grinned, “Yeah? I might do that too, but I'm just a freshman. I'm taking a bunch of different classes this year until I figure out what my passion is. But it's definitely in the sciences. I love science. I love science. I'm taking this biology class right now, and we're learning all about the…”As she bubbled with enthusiasm about biology, her face absolutely glowed, in spite of her dark skin. She just seemed to radiate a luminosity that filled my heart with a feeling so powerful that I was on the verge of laughter or tears. I had the overpowering urge to tell her how much I loved science too, but remembering how things went with Briona, I did something else instead.I kissed her.It was a sudden impulse, perhaps inspired by Grandpa's mischievous DNA, and I acted on it without getting hung up by my normal crippling uncertainty. I didn't even wait for her to finish her current sentence. I just leaned toward her and planted my lips on hers. She didn't push me away or slap my face. Instead, she threw her arms around me, pulled me closer on the bench, and kissed me back, deeply, passionately, lustfully as if she'd been waiting for this moment her entire life. Her mouth opened and our tongues began to polka. This sweet, funny, brainy girl was a seething well of passion under that fun-loving surface. She was moaning into my mouth in no time at all, clearly enjoying this amazing kiss every bit as much as me.We must have made quite a tableau in our costumes, making out like crazy on a bench in the center of the quad, illuminated by a nearby streetlight. I could hear people walking by, occasionally snickering or making crude comments. But I didn't care. This was my first French kiss, and I had no intention of letting embarrassment cut it short. And the longer we kissed, the more I dialed out the rest of the world, until there was only the two of us, and our tongues, and our lips, and our hearts.Suddenly she turned and straddled me, and I enjoyed the feel of her breasts heaving against my chest. By this time I had a massive erection, so I held her back a bit, to prevent her from feeling it.She started shivering, and said, “My legs are freezing”. I took that as an invitation to help warm them up, so I put my hands on her calves, which were splayed out on the bench on my left and right. Some girls, like Muschi, have baby-soft skin, but not Annie. Her skin felt thick and smooth and was covered with a soft, almost invisible peach fuzz. The feel of her flesh made my cock throb with desire. I'd never felt anything so amazing in my life. It felt like suede leather, only softer and suppler.She began humming happily in my mouth as I rubbed her calves. I moved my hands up higher, my fingers slipping under the edge of her skirt to rub her soft thighs. Then with each stroke of my hands, I went a little higher under her skirt. I expected her to tell me to stop at any moment, but she didn't. Finally my fingertips touched the edge of her panties, and a few strokes later my hands were all the way onto her ass, cheeks, squeezing them through the soft, stretchy cotton of her undies. She giggled, but she didn't make me stop. I loved the feel of her ass wiggling under my hands as she laughed.Then, unexpectedly, she slid forward on my lap, pressing her crotch against my hard on. She gave a lustful little gasp, as did I. I couldn't believe how well this was going! The only thing separating my cock from her pussy was a few thin layers of fabric. It was insanely erotic, and all the while we explored each other's mouths with our tongues, absolutely breathless with passion.We kissed and kissed and kissed in this position for the longest time. The campus clock struck 1, then 2. I couldn't believe we'd been at it for so long. But I knew it couldn't last forever. There were classes tomorrow and we were both dedicated students. So, reluctantly, we pulled back and just looked into each other's eyes for a while. I found that to be ten times more intimate than kissing. For the first time in my life, I could look into a woman's eyes without glancing away nervously after a few seconds. I could look into Annie's baby-blue eyes forever.Carnal Knowledge In the Woods.She said, “Would you care to escort me back to my dorm, liebchen?”“But of course, fraulein.” I was sad when she squirmed off my lap. I had the sinking feeling that this was a one shot deal. In the light of day she'd notice how crooked my teeth were. She'd notice my acne scars and wiry hair. But we walked, hand in hand, like boyfriend and girlfriend, and I started to think, maybe, just maybe, a second date?She led me on a roundabout route, rather than the direct way to her dorm. It took us into the dimly lit park next to Davenport ravine, which was totally deserted. We waded through drifts of fallen leaves. I put my arm around her waist and snuggled her close. My palm was tucked right under her right breast, which would occasionally bounce down against the top of my thumb, giving me an incredible thrill each and every time. I was trembling with lust. I wanted to move my hand higher, but I was afraid of overstepping. But then it occurred to me that Annie was my girl now. I don't know how I knew it, I just did. It gave me the confidence to cup her breast in my hand. She hummed and leaned her head against mine and squeezed my waist tighter. We walked that way for a while. I thrilled at the feel of her soft, squishy boob bouncing playfully in my fingers. I even felt her nipple getting harder against my palm. And the heft of her breast was amazing. The bulge in my lederhosen was pointing straight ahead.I could see the bright windows of her dorm getting closer over the treetops, and I knew this magical night would soon be over. This was a girl's only dorm. Boys weren't allowed in at any time. But she steered me off the path toward a huge thicket of bushes near the center of the park. Then she got down on her hands and knees and said, “Follow me, Hans.” She crawled into a dark opening in the branches, which I'd never noticed before. I followed. It was a dark and thorny little tunnel, but I could see her silhouette ahead of me, and I could hear the thorns scratching at the edges of her skirt. A chill of fear swept through me suddenly. Fear of the unknown, I guess. Fear of dark places.The thorny tunnel took a few twists and turns, but eventually I saw her crawling out into the moonlight ahead of me. She stood up and smiled at me as I climbed out of the tunnel into a small clearing in the center of the giant thicket. I wondered how many people knew about this secret place?We were totally alone. Moonlight twinkled in her eyes and we kissed again. She pulled me close, then pulled me over with her into a pile of leaves that had collected in the center of the clearing. We laughed. I kneeled over her, my legs straddling her thighs. I looked down, mystified by her beautiful moonlit face. She put her hands on her blouse and pulled the front of it down, all the while looking at me with an intensely trusting and intimate expression. She had a thin baby-blue bra under the blouse, through which I could see the dark circles of her areolas.She reached up and pulled my face down into her coppery cleavage, and I breathed in her powdery perfume and kissed her supple skin, in circling motions, hardly believing this was happening, until I was kissing her hard nipple through the thin fabric of her bra. She groaned in pleasure and suddenly pulled the front of her bra down, exposing her moonlit breasts to me. Her areolas were chocolate brown. I took one of her large nipples into my mouth and circled it with my tongue, and bit it lightly with my teeth, making her giggle. This was an absolute dream come true, but it was only getting better with each passing second.As I switched to kissing and licking her other breast, she opened her legs, and I shifted so I was kneeling between them. I lowered myself onto her, pressing my hard-on into her crotch, and began to grind myself against her, softly at first, but with growing urgency. She ran her fingers through my hair, then began to push my head downward. For a second I thought she wanted me to stop licking her boobs, but she kept pushing me down with one hand, while she pulled up her flouncy skirt with the other. Soon my face was inches away from her lacy blue panties. There was a large wet spot in the center of the blue lace. I saw it only for a second before she pulled my face down into her warm wet crotch. I was overwhelmed by the musky moistness of her. I'd caught a whiff of Briona the night she fucked Troy, but now that I was buried in an actual pussy, I took a deep breath of her animalistic aroma. Good grief, I loved it!I grabbed her suede-soft thighs with both hands and began kissing her pussy through the lacy fabric, licking the tender flesh of her labia on either side, which made her moan with delight. I worked my tongue around the edge of the panties, slowly pulling the edge of it inward, exposing more of her tender flesh. I felt her downy black pubic hairs tingling across my tongue. I pulled at them playfully with my lips. She laughed, then groaned. I teased her for a while, licking the left side, then the right, moving ever inward, but not all the way. She twisted about passionately trying to make me go further, but I playfully delayed, as much to entice her as to prolong the moment for me. This was, without doubt, the greatest night of my life, and I wanted it to go on forever. Finally she couldn't wait any longer, so she reached down and pulled her panties all the way open and pulled my face into her warm wet pussy. My nose buried itself in her downy bush, and my tongue slipped between her swollen lips. She tasted incredible.“Oh, liebchen…” she moaned, “that feels so good.”Although this was my first time, I'd listened to Briona's instructions as Troy ate her out, so I had a general idea of what to do. For the next half hour or more I ate Annie's sweet pussy with absolute abandon. I kissed and teased her, and tried to make her squirm and whimper with pleasure. I found I couldn't put my tongue very far into her vagina. There was a thin membrane just an inch inside her pussy lips. It took me a few seconds to realize what it was. Oh shit, that's her hymen! I recognized it from biology class. For some reason, because of her sexual confidence, I'd assumed Annie wasn't a virgin, exactly the opposite mistake I'd made from judging Briona. I chuckled, realizing that I was a terrible judge of things like that. But it didn't matter. I was touched that Annie trusted me to kiss her this way. I was careful not to lick her too vigorously. I knew from biology class that the hymen could be broken accidentally, and I certainly didn't want to be responsible for an unintentional defloration! So I concentrated most of my efforts on her tiny little clitoris. She loved it when I sucked it and swirled it with my tongue.After a while I discovered that her favorite thing was when I rubbed her pussy up and down with my entire face. I'd start with my nose buried between her quivering lips, then slide upward, so my nose and tongue went up her pussy until I could lift the little hood covering her clitoris with the tip of my tongue, and flick that sensitive little nub before making my way back down. I went up and down this way, again and again, starting slowly but building up speed. My face was slick with her copious juices, which thrilled me to no end. She whimpered and gasped and groaned, and started saying, “Oh, god. Oh god. Oh yes. Oh yes…” And then, quite suddenly, her entire body tensed up like crazy, and she closed both of her thighs around my head and held me in a vice grip while she bucked and arched and clenched, squealing with an incredibly powerful orgasm. A splash of warm juices surged out of her pussy onto my face, startling me, and delighting me at the same time.Then I began licking and sucking her dripping wet pussy with gusto, swallowing her juices, and slurping her delicious clit. But after a few seconds of this she started banging my forehead with her palm, apparently too overwhelmed to be able to communicate vocally. I took the hint and left her over-stimulated clit alone. Annie's body remained as stiff as a board, and a deep trembling rolled through her thighs for two solid minutes. Finally she relaxed, and her thighs opened, releasing my head from the vice grip. She just lay there for the longest time, panting hard as if she'd just jogged a mile. I took the opportunity to finally take a good long look at her beautiful pussy in the moonlight. Every woman in the world has one, but Annie's was the first I'd seen this closely. I'd seen Briona's but she was so hairy, I really hadn't been able to make out any details. But Annie's pussy only had a little oval tuft of silky black hair on top, and simple curving chocolate brown lips below, topped with a tiny little nub. I knew right then and there that for the rest of my life, Annie's vagina would be the one I'd judge all others by. It was simply too beautiful for words. An absolute work of art, just like every other square inch of her.I kissed her pussy lips gently this time, savoring the similarity of these lips to her other lips. After a while she tugged at my hair. So I crawled up and snuggled her in the leaves, my leg over her legs to keep them warm in the chilly October air. Slowly she came out of the post orgasmic state she'd been in for the last ten minutes. She looked at me with wide eyes and said, “Hans, I never did that before. That was an orgasm I guess. Wow.”“Yeah, wow!” I said, smiling. We kissed. She backed off and wrinkled her nose in distaste.“Is that what I taste like?”“Delicious.”“If you say so,” she said sardonically.“I do say so. Your pussy, my dear, is ze finest pussy in all ze fatherland. Yah, sweet nectar from Odin…”She kissed me to shut me up. We hugged and kissed sweetly for a long time, shivering against each other, neither of us wanting the night to end.There was a rustling in the bushes. We both tensed and listened intently for more. Was someone else crawling up the tunnel? Fear gripped us, but after a few minutes of deadly silence, I said, “Must have been a branch falling.”“Sorry,” she said, “I get easily spooked.”“I saw a ghost once.” She let this random bit of information sit there in the darkness. A cloud moved over the moon and suddenly we were plunged into pitch darkness. I could only, just barely, make out her sky blue eyes in the inky blackness.“A ghost?”“Yeah.”“There are no such things as ghosts.”She sighed, “Yeah, I know, but I saw one, so, I guess that's stupid, right?”My science brain now switched on, instinctively. “You know, I used to love ghost stories and paranormal stuff. But nobody has ever found scientific evidence that any of that stuff exists, in spite of millions of dollars spent on research, hundreds of independent studies, probably more. In the whole of human history, there's still no conclusive evidence that human consciousness survives death.”“I know. But it hasn't been disproved either.”“You can't prove a negative.”She laughed. “I know, Hans, I know. I told you it's stupid.”“So what's this ghost you saw? Could have been a dream, or a hallucination. They're more common than people think.”“Maybe.” She said. The cloud moved off the moon, and once again I could see her lovely bronze face. I could tell from her expression that she didn't want to tell me more. She'd given me a glimpse of her dark secret, but that was all I was going to get. She could let me lick her pussy, but the ghost story thing was a little too personal. Go figure.Perhaps as a way to change the topic, she rolled over to straddle me. In response my softened cock began to grow again. She looked down at me in the moonlight and said, “You know, Hans, you're quite lovely.”“Handsome, you mean”“Lovely. Handsome men don't wear lederhosen.”I was about to say something funny, but she began to grind herself on my hardening erection. A beautiful, lustful expression came over her sweet face. She inched herself slowly down my body, and I watched her as she unbuttoned the buttons on the front of my lederhosen. There were a lot of them, and it would have been amusing except I was suddenly aware that she intended to touch my cock. I got lightheaded with amazement and lust. One of the great dreams of my life was about to come true, and I tried to commit the sight of Annie unbuttoning me to memory. My underwear-clad cock began to emerge more and more with each button, rising up to her grinning face, eager to meet her, to shake hands, to say hello. She tickled the tip of it playfully, amused at the way it jumped with each touch.“Little Hans wants out. Should I let him?”“Yes Fraulein. Zat would be lovely.” I tried to be funny and cool, but my voice cracked with tension.She pulled the band of my underwear down, and my cock sprang up in front of her face, looking quite impressive in the moonlight, if I may say so myself. Her eyes twinkled at the sight of it. “I stand corrected. Not little Hans. BIG Hans!” I'm glad she'd never seen Troy's cock! Then she touched my cock with her fingers, sending shivers up and down my spine. She began to bat it with her fist, making it bob about playfully. She'd obviously never seen a penis before, because she was utterly fascinated. She stroked it gently, and rolled my furry balls in her fingertips, giggling at the strange feel of me. I was in absolute heaven by this point. And when she leaned down and kissed the underside of my cock with her beautiful lips, my heart skipped a beat. She kissed it again and again, and the more she kissed it, the harder it got, which I didn't even think was possible. Finally she opened her mouth and the tip slipped between her warm, wet lips. I felt her teeth, her lips, her tongue, but mostly I saw. Really, it was the sight of her mouth, her beautiful, rosy mouth, wrapped around this most intimate part of me, which made my heart do loop-de-loops.She tongued me and kissed me and sucked me in a variety of ways. It was her turn now to experiment, and I loved every minute of it. After a while she unbuttoned my suspenders and pulled the shorts down, without bothering to take my boots off. She spread my thighs open and licked my furry balls, taking them into her mouth, while stroking my turgid shaft with her soft fingers. She was clumsy and inexperienced, but I didn't know better. It was perfect as far as I was concerned. I just laid back and let her service me, amazed at how much she got into it. She kept looking up at me with her baby blue eyes as she slobbered all over my cock, which was truly mind-blowing. I'd daydreamed about blowjobs for years, but the reality was so much better. I mean, this was literally one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen in my life, and she was sucking my cock. It was beyond wonderful. It was life altering.After only a few minutes of her wonderful mouth bobbing up and down on my cock, I began to feel the telltale signs of impending orgasm. “Oh shit, Annie, I'm gonna cum if you keep that up.”She looked up at me and said, “I want to feel you cum in my mouth, Hans. Is that okay?”I nodded, dazed with excitement. Then she sucked and slurped, putting her limber neck into it, and rolling my balls with her fingertips. The underside of my cock became so sensitive that I could feel every taste bud on her magical tongue. Then I felt a hot burst in my nuts, and I began to buck and writhe with the most incredible orgasm I'd ever felt. She kept sucking and jerking as I shot my seed into her mouth. Her cheeks quickly became distended, and cum began to ooze past her lips down my cock. Then I saw her gulping, and I realized she was actually swallowing my cum.I didn't get soft for a second, so she just swallowed and kept on sucking. Sure, my cock was so sensitive by this time that it almost felt painful being in her mouth, but I put up with the pain because I didn't want it to end. I had no idea when or if I'd ever get another blowjob. Happily I got over the hypersensitivity after a few minutes, and she continued to suck and slurp for another ten or fifteen minutes until I thought I was probably on the verge of cumming again.But then Annie suddenly sat up and grabbed her purse. My heart sank. I was certain she was going to check her watch and say it was time to go home. But instead she pulled out a little wrapper and clumsily tore it open. My head nearly exploded when I realized what she was doing. I'd totally forgotten to bring my condom with me. Thank God Annie was more organized than me. She tried to put it on my cock, but it was too dark to see that she was putting it on inside out. We both laughed as she yanked the stretchy rubber on my throbbing shaft. It was so hilarious that it almost took my mind off what was about to happen.Eventually she got the condom over about half my phallus, and said, “Well, that's as good as it gets, I guess!” Then she stepped out of her panties and squatted over me. I reached up and our fingers interlocked. I was filled with the most amazing love for Annie as she lowered her muff onto my pole. Then before I knew it, I felt the head of my scepter pushing against the tender flesh of her hymen. She paused, our eyes locked on each other. We both knew this was an important moment and should be savored. Then she lowered herself, with a deep groan, and popped her cherry on me. She slid all the way down with a throaty gasp, until I was totally immersed in her tight pussy. She sat there for a minute or two, and we looked at each other smiling. It was over. We were no longer virgins.“High five.” I said.We high-fived each other, smiling like crazy.I was thrilled with the thought that half of my cock, the part uncovered by the condom, was touching the inside of her sweet tunnel. She slowly lifted herself, then lowered herself. She was so tight around me, I might as well not have been wearing a condom. It was incredible.She moaned, “Oh fuck, Hans. You feel so big. Oh god. Oh god. What a great cock. Thank you. Thank you for this, Hans.”I was actually fucking a gorgeous half-Brazilian hottie in a pile of leaves, and she was actually thanking me. I looked up at her in wonder. The moonlight was glinting on her dark, shiny braids. As she slowly lifted herself up again her gorgeous lips opened to emit a moan of transcendent pleasure. I was moved more than words can convey.I blurted, “I love you.” Her blue eyes opened wide, and for a moment I was worried that I'd made a mistake. But then she began to pump her body up and down on me with crazy abandon, her eyes locked to mine, as she gave off beautiful, throaty moans.“Oh, oh, oh. You feel so good inside me. Oh yeah. So good. Goddamned fucking fantastic! Oh Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” Soon she was pounding herself on me faster, making the leaves rustle and bounce into the air. I reached up and yanked the front of her bra down, releasing her large brown breasts again. They looked amazing, bobbing and bouncing in the moonlight with those dark brown areolas flying up and down in a blur. Then I began to arch my pelvis in rhythm with her movements, rising up to meet her with each downstroke. The bare skin of our pelvises began slapping wetly together again and again. She was so wet, I could feel her juices dripping down my balls.Suddenly, a sharp, spine-tingling, high-pitched groan came from the bushes to our left. We froze in primal fear. I felt every hair on my headstand erect, and Annie's pussy tightened like a clamp around my shaft. After a few moments of silence, the bushes rustled, as if something was moving slowly around the edge of the clearing. It groaned again, weirder this time, sounding almost human, but I was certain it had to be an animal. Annie's face was contorted in terror. She pulled off me, and plopped to her hands and knees.She whispered desperately, “Come on. Fuck me Hans. Hurry up.”I couldn't believe she wanted to keep going. I wanted to run. As a matter of fact, I was scared shitless. But there she was, kneeling with her skirt bundled up, exposing her beautiful brown ass to the moonlight. I kneeled behind her and slowly slid my cock into her tight, trembling canal, while she looked at the bushes, following the eerie rustling sounds with her head. Man, oh, man, her hips felt good in my hands, and her pussy felt incredible around my cock. I began to pound her hard and fast, trying to work her up to another quivering orgasm. I felt myself building up to one too, but I was able to put it off longer than I normally could have, because my abdomen was clenched into a tight little fist of fear. But after thirty, forty, fifty strokes, she let out a little choking gasp, and warm juices surged out of her all around my shaft, splashing loudly into the leaves between her knees.At the moment of her climax a huge black flying thing burst out of the edge of the clearing and flew right at us then up out of sight making us both Scream! Right then I began to ejaculate, spurred on by fear and the shivering, quivering spasms that were rolling through her pussy and thighs. My orgasm seemed to go on and on for minutes, as I continued thrusting and squirting shot after shot into that wonderful girl. Or, into the condom, I should say.When my spasms finally ended, I pulled out of her and plopped into the leaves next to her. She crawled on top of me and whispered into my ear, “I love you too. Now let's get the hell out of here.”I yanked the fully loaded condom from my penis, and tossed it into the leaves, then we dressed hastily, laughing like idiots, and crawled in terror through the tunnel. Then we sprinted breathlessly, hand in hand through the park to her dorm. We didn't look back until we got through the doors in the foyer. I swear, it felt as something was chasing us the whole way, but when we turned to look out the glass doors, nothing was there but the cold October dawn. The sky was glowing with the first rays of morning light. We laughed and breathlessly talked about what an amazing night we'd had! But what the hell was that thing? We agreed it must have been a bird. What else could it have been?Only then did we realize that she'd bled a bit from her broken hymen. The brown crotch of my lederhosen had splashes of dark crimson, and her flowery skirt and white stockings were spattered too. But we both laughed, happy that the lobby was deserted at this hour. We held onto each other in the foyer until the morning sun broke over the treetops, casting October orange light on her bronze face, and filling her blue eyes with wonder. She was even more stunning than ever. We stood up and I kissed her goodnight, or good morning I guess. But before she went inside, I haltingly said, “Uh, do you think, that you'd like to, uh, go out with me again?”She smiled as if I'd just asked her the dumbest question in the world. “I'm your girlfriend, stupid.”My heart soared. I have a girlfriend!by CBSummers, for Literotica 

Power of Dirndls and Lederhosen: Part 2Hans finds his confidence and the fraulein, too.Based on the post by cb summers, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Connected.PART TWO – October 6, 1992Normally I found it impossible to be spontaneous around hot chicks like this, but something about being in that costume, thinking about my grandfather's irrepressible charm brought out a boldness in me which I didn't normally possess. I put my arm around this hot, blue-eyed fraulein and said, in my worst German accent, “Yah, and dis here is mein liebchen, Helga Boob en schteen.”She corrected me comically, “Not Boob en schteen, Boob en schtein!” Everyone in the entire room laughed themselves silly. Then Helga loudly introduced the girls. “May I introducen mein fellow pledges from ze Tau Nu Upsilon Sorority? Ya, dis here is Gertruda Cock en suck en.”Everyone laughed at her crude pun, but I clicked my heels together very seriously, like a proper Austrian man, and said “Guten abend, Gertruda,” then I bowed and kissed the back of the adorable redhead's soft little hand.Helga went on, pointing to a busty little African American girl, who looked quite stunning in her bright orange dirndl. “And zis here is little Heidi Ho. Yah, she's an actual ho!” I clicked my heels together, and kissed Heidi's hand. “And dis vun here ist Muschi von Kitten licker.” Muschi, who had short black hair and snow-white skin, leaned forward and presented her cheek to me, so I kissed it, laying my lips on the second female of my life. Her skin was as soft as silk.Helga gestured toward a cute blonde with bright pink circles painted on her cheeks, saying, “And, finally, mein beste freunden, Hildegard Fuck me up the ass en stein, the third.” Hildegard laughed, then turned and wiggled her ass at me. I bowed deeply and said, “Very nice to meet you, Herr Fuck me up the ass en stein.” She wiggled her ass again, right in my face, so I leaned down a little farther and kissed her right on her behind, and the crowd went wild. I was surprising the shit out of myself. My grandfather's DNA was having a field day with my confidence. I raised my oversized prop stein, and shouted, “Beer! Ve must haff beer!”Helga had an identical stein, and so we filled them together from the keg and chugged them while everyone clapped, until they were empty. I saw that beer was leaking out of her defective stein and dripping all over her glorious, copper colored cleavage, making her white top wet enough for me to see the lacy blue bra she was wearing under it. Oh shit. I couldn't take my eyes off her tits. She caught me looking, but instead of getting mad, she just looked down at her breasts and said, “Oops. I can be zo clumzy zometimes, liebchen! You know how I am!” She ran her fingers over her soaked cleavage.I don't know what came over me, but I took her wrist in my hand and said, clicking my heels together, “Allow me, fraulein Boob en schtein.” And I wrapped my lips around her fingertips and licked them dry of beer. She just stared at me with the biggest smile on her face, and her eyes twinkling. My god! Who was I?I had no idea what to do next, but some joker saved me by playing a polka on the stereo. Without missing a beat, Helga shouted, “Shall ve dance, mein liebchen?” She didn't even wait for me to answer. She just grabbed my hand and dragged me to the middle of the floor and we started to polka.I'd been to a few polkas when I was a kid, so I knew the basic moves, and a few of the special ones, and I guess Helga had been to a few polkas too, because she kept right up with me. Soon, everyone was clapping and cheering and snapping photographs, and at least ten others, who knew how to polka, joined in, including Heidi Ho! Where a black girl learned to polka is anybody's guess. When the song finally ended, I lifted my stein and shouted the traditional Oktoberfest starting cheer, which for some reason popped to mind even though I thought I'd forgotten it years ago “O' zapft is! The Keg Is Tapped! Let Oktoberfest Begin!”After the ear-splitting cheer, the music switched back to hip hop, and the lights dimmed, and the disco lights began to flash, and soon Helga and I were dancing in the center of a crowd, this time gyrating like fools, just like everyone else on the dance floor. By the third song, I was utterly smitten with her. She had such a bold, fearless spirit, that I just let all of my nerdy inhibitions go, and danced, not caring how stupid I looked, because my eyes were glued to her. Her breasts. Her coppery face. Her stunning, sky-blue eyes. And she was looking right back at me, sometimes smiling, but sometimes with an expression on her face that reminded me of the expression I'd seen on Briona's face while Troy was fucking her. Damn. Helga was giving me sex face! It was unbelievably cool!The third song was a raunchy rap song that was bit that year, Baby Got Back, and suddenly Heidi Ho, Helga's black friend, appeared in front of me and started grinding her ass against my crotch. I'd never danced like this before, but there were other couples doing it, so I put my hands on her hips and grinded away. I started to get a boner, so I turned around, afraid she might feel it. But then Gertruda Cocken sucken, an adorable freckle-faced girl, with vivid red hair, started grinding her ass into my crotch instead, apparently unconcerned about the fact that I was rubbing my erection against her. Or maybe even enjoying it! It was an incredible feeling. Then Heidi put her arms around me from behind, and started grinding her crotch against my ass, and now I was sandwiched between two Bavarian hotties, feeling Heidi's firm tits rubbing all over my back. My mind was now officially blown. But I rolled with it. Why the fuck not? It was Oktoberfest!Midnight in the campus park.Then when that song ended, Hildegard Fuck me up the ass en stein switched with Heidi, and Helga von Boob en schtein switched with Gertruda, and now I was feeling Helga's large, coppery tits flopping back and forth across my back. Hildegard was a bit drunk by this time, so she leaned forward and started rubbing her ass up and down, grinding her pussy against my cock, making it look exactly like I was fucking her. She even started making orgasmic sounds. And I realized that in all likelihood, my cock was actually rubbing against more than just her ass. In fact, it might be rubbing right against her tight little pussy! Shit, this was getting way out of hand! Then I noticed that the older sisters in her sorority were watching us with great amusement. Maybe this was part of their initiation ceremony. But I didn't care. If she wanted to dry hump me in a room full of people, more power to her. She even grabbed my wrists and pulled my hands up to her tits! Oh shit! They weren't all that big, but I could feel the hard lumps of her nipples bouncing under my fingers as I squeezed her little grapefruits.I began to feel the warning signs of an impending orgasm coming on strong. Oh my god, I was going to blow my load feeling the first tits of my life! But at just the last minute, the final girl in Helga's harem, Muschi von Kittenlicker, pushed Hildegard aside, but instead of grinding her ass against mine, she faced me and started gyrating against me in time with Helga behind me. Now two sexy women were rubbing her tits against me, and my cock got enough of a reprieve that my urge to cum faded mercifully away.Muschi's paper pale face was flush with devastating sexiness, but she wasn't looking at me. She was looking past me at Helga. And in spite of how much I was enjoying this once-in-a-lifetime experience, I think I detected pure infatuation in Muschi's expression. She didn't make eye contact with me even once, but she kept licking her lips as if she wanted to kiss someone. I bent toward her, suddenly excited about kissing another girl, but she just shifted to the other side, her eyes staring past me, and looking down at Helga's ample cleavage. Oh shit, she wants to kiss her friend! I turned to look at Helga's beautiful copper colored face in the flashing disco light, but she appeared to be totally unaware of Muschi's lustful looks.The song changed, and now all the Bavarian girls crowded around me and began to rub their bodies and asses, all over me. It was dark, and the lights were flashing, and I had no idea who was who, but my hand definitely squeezed another girl's breast for a few seconds, maybe Heidi Ho's and I also fondled a couple of their asses, running my fingers over their delightful ass-cracks. It was almost like I was in some kind of fully clothed orgy!But then, halfway through the song, a hand grasped mine, and pulled me off the dance floor. It was Helga Boobenschtein. She grinned back at me as she pulled me out the front door, leaving her friends behind, obviously sick of sharing me with them. She wanted me all to herself. That was just fine with me. It was getting pretty weird anyway. Helga and I ran hand in hand through the campus, laughing like lunatics. I suppose the beer had gone to our heads, because we were utterly silly with hilarity. I never was much of a drinker. When we'd run ourselves tired, we sat down on a bench, still holding hands.After she caught her breath, she said in her regular voice, “I lied to you earlier, my name's not really Helga Boobenschtein.”“Ach du lieber! I'm shocked! Is it Boobenschteen after all?”She laughed and said, “No. My real name is Annie Stoltz. And yes, that is a German name.”I dropped the accent and said, “You sure don't look German!”“No, my mother's Brazilian. I got my black hair and dark skin from her. But I learned to polka from my dad. He also gave me these eyes.” Indeed, her eyes were the most amazing baby-blue color I'd ever seen. They almost glowed against her copper colored face.“Well, I have a surprise for you too. I'm not really Helmutt von Wiener. My name is Hans Willis.”Annie laughed, “You have German name too? That's too perfect!”“My grandpa's from Austria, and my grandma from my mother's side is Bavarian.”“Oh my god. What are the odds that two half-Germans would meet at an Oktoberfest party in Illinois, dressed in matching costumes? It's a good thing I don't believe in fate, or I'd say it was fate.”I laughed, “I don't believe in fate, either, but show me the evidence, and I'll be happy to reconsider. But in any large sampling, like life, coincidences are bound to happen. And they have to happen to somebody. In this case, to us.”“Spoken like a true scientist, Hans.”I smiled. But for some reason, I wanted to avoid talking about science. That's what had derailed my date with Briona. So instead I said, “That party was off the hook!”She blushed. “I'm sorry about the girls. They're a bunch of sluts. Except for Muschi, her real name is Barbara. She's a lesbian.”“Yeah. I kinda noticed. And I think she has the hot for you, Annie.”Annie laughed, “I know. I know. I keep telling her I'm not into it, but she just won't give up. But I love her to death. And you enjoyed our little dance, didn't you?”I had no words for how much I'd enjoyed our dance. So I just blushed and smiled.She laughed and squeezed my hand, giving me a strange erotic thrill. Then she said, “I've seen you around the labs. What's your major?”“General science.”She grinned, “Yeah? I might do that too, but I'm just a freshman. I'm taking a bunch of different classes this year until I figure out what my passion is. But it's definitely in the sciences. I love science. I love science. I'm taking this biology class right now, and we're learning all about the…”As she bubbled with enthusiasm about biology, her face absolutely glowed, in spite of her dark skin. She just seemed to radiate a luminosity that filled my heart with a feeling so powerful that I was on the verge of laughter or tears. I had the overpowering urge to tell her how much I loved science too, but remembering how things went with Briona, I did something else instead.I kissed her.It was a sudden impulse, perhaps inspired by Grandpa's mischievous DNA, and I acted on it without getting hung up by my normal crippling uncertainty. I didn't even wait for her to finish her current sentence. I just leaned toward her and planted my lips on hers. She didn't push me away or slap my face. Instead, she threw her arms around me, pulled me closer on the bench, and kissed me back, deeply, passionately, lustfully as if she'd been waiting for this moment her entire life. Her mouth opened and our tongues began to polka. This sweet, funny, brainy girl was a seething well of passion under that fun-loving surface. She was moaning into my mouth in no time at all, clearly enjoying this amazing kiss every bit as much as me.We must have made quite a tableau in our costumes, making out like crazy on a bench in the center of the quad, illuminated by a nearby streetlight. I could hear people walking by, occasionally snickering or making crude comments. But I didn't care. This was my first French kiss, and I had no intention of letting embarrassment cut it short. And the longer we kissed, the more I dialed out the rest of the world, until there was only the two of us, and our tongues, and our lips, and our hearts.Suddenly she turned and straddled me, and I enjoyed the feel of her breasts heaving against my chest. By this time I had a massive erection, so I held her back a bit, to prevent her from feeling it.She started shivering, and said, “My legs are freezing”. I took that as an invitation to help warm them up, so I put my hands on her calves, which were splayed out on the bench on my left and right. Some girls, like Muschi, have baby-soft skin, but not Annie. Her skin felt thick and smooth and was covered with a soft, almost invisible peach fuzz. The feel of her flesh made my cock throb with desire. I'd never felt anything so amazing in my life. It felt like suede leather, only softer and suppler.She began humming happily in my mouth as I rubbed her calves. I moved my hands up higher, my fingers slipping under the edge of her skirt to rub her soft thighs. Then with each stroke of my hands, I went a little higher under her skirt. I expected her to tell me to stop at any moment, but she didn't. Finally my fingertips touched the edge of her panties, and a few strokes later my hands were all the way onto her ass, cheeks, squeezing them through the soft, stretchy cotton of her undies. She giggled, but she didn't make me stop. I loved the feel of her ass wiggling under my hands as she laughed.Then, unexpectedly, she slid forward on my lap, pressing her crotch against my hard on. She gave a lustful little gasp, as did I. I couldn't believe how well this was going! The only thing separating my cock from her pussy was a few thin layers of fabric. It was insanely erotic, and all the while we explored each other's mouths with our tongues, absolutely breathless with passion.We kissed and kissed and kissed in this position for the longest time. The campus clock struck 1, then 2. I couldn't believe we'd been at it for so long. But I knew it couldn't last forever. There were classes tomorrow and we were both dedicated students. So, reluctantly, we pulled back and just looked into each other's eyes for a while. I found that to be ten times more intimate than kissing. For the first time in my life, I could look into a woman's eyes without glancing away nervously after a few seconds. I could look into Annie's baby-blue eyes forever.Carnal Knowledge In the Woods.She said, “Would you care to escort me back to my dorm, liebchen?”“But of course, fraulein.” I was sad when she squirmed off my lap. I had the sinking feeling that this was a one shot deal. In the light of day she'd notice how crooked my teeth were. She'd notice my acne scars and wiry hair. But we walked, hand in hand, like boyfriend and girlfriend, and I started to think, maybe, just maybe, a second date?She led me on a roundabout route, rather than the direct way to her dorm. It took us into the dimly lit park next to Davenport ravine, which was totally deserted. We waded through drifts of fallen leaves. I put my arm around her waist and snuggled her close. My palm was tucked right under her right breast, which would occasionally bounce down against the top of my thumb, giving me an incredible thrill each and every time. I was trembling with lust. I wanted to move my hand higher, but I was afraid of overstepping. But then it occurred to me that Annie was my girl now. I don't know how I knew it, I just did. It gave me the confidence to cup her breast in my hand. She hummed and leaned her head against mine and squeezed my waist tighter. We walked that way for a while. I thrilled at the feel of her soft, squishy boob bouncing playfully in my fingers. I even felt her nipple getting harder against my palm. And the heft of her breast was amazing. The bulge in my lederhosen was pointing straight ahead.I could see the bright windows of her dorm getting closer over the treetops, and I knew this magical night would soon be over. This was a girl's only dorm. Boys weren't allowed in at any time. But she steered me off the path toward a huge thicket of bushes near the center of the park. Then she got down on her hands and knees and said, “Follow me, Hans.” She crawled into a dark opening in the branches, which I'd never noticed before. I followed. It was a dark and thorny little tunnel, but I could see her silhouette ahead of me, and I could hear the thorns scratching at the edges of her skirt. A chill of fear swept through me suddenly. Fear of the unknown, I guess. Fear of dark places.The thorny tunnel took a few twists and turns, but eventually I saw her crawling out into the moonlight ahead of me. She stood up and smiled at me as I climbed out of the tunnel into a small clearing in the center of the giant thicket. I wondered how many people knew about this secret place?We were totally alone. Moonlight twinkled in her eyes and we kissed again. She pulled me close, then pulled me over with her into a pile of leaves that had collected in the center of the clearing. We laughed. I kneeled over her, my legs straddling her thighs. I looked down, mystified by her beautiful moonlit face. She put her hands on her blouse and pulled the front of it down, all the while looking at me with an intensely trusting and intimate expression. She had a thin baby-blue bra under the blouse, through which I could see the dark circles of her areolas.She reached up and pulled my face down into her coppery cleavage, and I breathed in her powdery perfume and kissed her supple skin, in circling motions, hardly believing this was happening, until I was kissing her hard nipple through the thin fabric of her bra. She groaned in pleasure and suddenly pulled the front of her bra down, exposing her moonlit breasts to me. Her areolas were chocolate brown. I took one of her large nipples into my mouth and circled it with my tongue, and bit it lightly with my teeth, making her giggle. This was an absolute dream come true, but it was only getting better with each passing second.As I switched to kissing and licking her other breast, she opened her legs, and I shifted so I was kneeling between them. I lowered myself onto her, pressing my hard-on into her crotch, and began to grind myself against her, softly at first, but with growing urgency. She ran her fingers through my hair, then began to push my head downward. For a second I thought she wanted me to stop licking her boobs, but she kept pushing me down with one hand, while she pulled up her flouncy skirt with the other. Soon my face was inches away from her lacy blue panties. There was a large wet spot in the center of the blue lace. I saw it only for a second before she pulled my face down into her warm wet crotch. I was overwhelmed by the musky moistness of her. I'd caught a whiff of Briona the night she fucked Troy, but now that I was buried in an actual pussy, I took a deep breath of her animalistic aroma. Good grief, I loved it!I grabbed her suede-soft thighs with both hands and began kissing her pussy through the lacy fabric, licking the tender flesh of her labia on either side, which made her moan with delight. I worked my tongue around the edge of the panties, slowly pulling the edge of it inward, exposing more of her tender flesh. I felt her downy black pubic hairs tingling across my tongue. I pulled at them playfully with my lips. She laughed, then groaned. I teased her for a while, licking the left side, then the right, moving ever inward, but not all the way. She twisted about passionately trying to make me go further, but I playfully delayed, as much to entice her as to prolong the moment for me. This was, without doubt, the greatest night of my life, and I wanted it to go on forever. Finally she couldn't wait any longer, so she reached down and pulled her panties all the way open and pulled my face into her warm wet pussy. My nose buried itself in her downy bush, and my tongue slipped between her swollen lips. She tasted incredible.“Oh, liebchen…” she moaned, “that feels so good.”Although this was my first time, I'd listened to Briona's instructions as Troy ate her out, so I had a general idea of what to do. For the next half hour or more I ate Annie's sweet pussy with absolute abandon. I kissed and teased her, and tried to make her squirm and whimper with pleasure. I found I couldn't put my tongue very far into her vagina. There was a thin membrane just an inch inside her pussy lips. It took me a few seconds to realize what it was. Oh shit, that's her hymen! I recognized it from biology class. For some reason, because of her sexual confidence, I'd assumed Annie wasn't a virgin, exactly the opposite mistake I'd made from judging Briona. I chuckled, realizing that I was a terrible judge of things like that. But it didn't matter. I was touched that Annie trusted me to kiss her this way. I was careful not to lick her too vigorously. I knew from biology class that the hymen could be broken accidentally, and I certainly didn't want to be responsible for an unintentional defloration! So I concentrated most of my efforts on her tiny little clitoris. She loved it when I sucked it and swirled it with my tongue.After a while I discovered that her favorite thing was when I rubbed her pussy up and down with my entire face. I'd start with my nose buried between her quivering lips, then slide upward, so my nose and tongue went up her pussy until I could lift the little hood covering her clitoris with the tip of my tongue, and flick that sensitive little nub before making my way back down. I went up and down this way, again and again, starting slowly but building up speed. My face was slick with her copious juices, which thrilled me to no end. She whimpered and gasped and groaned, and started saying, “Oh, god. Oh god. Oh yes. Oh yes…” And then, quite suddenly, her entire body tensed up like crazy, and she closed both of her thighs around my head and held me in a vice grip while she bucked and arched and clenched, squealing with an incredibly powerful orgasm. A splash of warm juices surged out of her pussy onto my face, startling me, and delighting me at the same time.Then I began licking and sucking her dripping wet pussy with gusto, swallowing her juices, and slurping her delicious clit. But after a few seconds of this she started banging my forehead with her palm, apparently too overwhelmed to be able to communicate vocally. I took the hint and left her over-stimulated clit alone. Annie's body remained as stiff as a board, and a deep trembling rolled through her thighs for two solid minutes. Finally she relaxed, and her thighs opened, releasing my head from the vice grip. She just lay there for the longest time, panting hard as if she'd just jogged a mile. I took the opportunity to finally take a good long look at her beautiful pussy in the moonlight. Every woman in the world has one, but Annie's was the first I'd seen this closely. I'd seen Briona's but she was so hairy, I really hadn't been able to make out any details. But Annie's pussy only had a little oval tuft of silky black hair on top, and simple curving chocolate brown lips below, topped with a tiny little nub. I knew right then and there that for the rest of my life, Annie's vagina would be the one I'd judge all others by. It was simply too beautiful for words. An absolute work of art, just like every other square inch of her.I kissed her pussy lips gently this time, savoring the similarity of these lips to her other lips. After a while she tugged at my hair. So I crawled up and snuggled her in the leaves, my leg over her legs to keep them warm in the chilly October air. Slowly she came out of the post orgasmic state she'd been in for the last ten minutes. She looked at me with wide eyes and said, “Hans, I never did that before. That was an orgasm I guess. Wow.”“Yeah, wow!” I said, smiling. We kissed. She backed off and wrinkled her nose in distaste.“Is that what I taste like?”“Delicious.”“If you say so,” she said sardonically.“I do say so. Your pussy, my dear, is ze finest pussy in all ze fatherland. Yah, sweet nectar from Odin…”She kissed me to shut me up. We hugged and kissed sweetly for a long time, shivering against each other, neither of us wanting the night to end.There was a rustling in the bushes. We both tensed and listened intently for more. Was someone else crawling up the tunnel? Fear gripped us, but after a few minutes of deadly silence, I said, “Must have been a branch falling.”“Sorry,” she said, “I get easily spooked.”“I saw a ghost once.” She let this random bit of information sit there in the darkness. A cloud moved over the moon and suddenly we were plunged into pitch darkness. I could only, just barely, make out her sky blue eyes in the inky blackness.“A ghost?”“Yeah.”“There are no such things as ghosts.”She sighed, “Yeah, I know, but I saw one, so, I guess that's stupid, right?”My science brain now switched on, instinctively. “You know, I used to love ghost stories and paranormal stuff. But nobody has ever found scientific evidence that any of that stuff exists, in spite of millions of dollars spent on research, hundreds of independent studies, probably more. In the whole of human history, there's still no conclusive evidence that human consciousness survives death.”“I know. But it hasn't been disproved either.”“You can't prove a negative.”She laughed. “I know, Hans, I know. I told you it's stupid.”“So what's this ghost you saw? Could have been a dream, or a hallucination. They're more common than people think.”“Maybe.” She said. The cloud moved off the moon, and once again I could see her lovely bronze face. I could tell from her expression that she didn't want to tell me more. She'd given me a glimpse of her dark secret, but that was all I was going to get. She could let me lick her pussy, but the ghost story thing was a little too personal. Go figure.Perhaps as a way to change the topic, she rolled over to straddle me. In response my softened cock began to grow again. She looked down at me in the moonlight and said, “You know, Hans, you're quite lovely.”“Handsome, you mean”“Lovely. Handsome men don't wear lederhosen.”I was about to say something funny, but she began to grind herself on my hardening erection. A beautiful, lustful expression came over her sweet face. She inched herself slowly down my body, and I watched her as she unbuttoned the buttons on the front of my lederhosen. There were a lot of them, and it would have been amusing except I was suddenly aware that she intended to touch my cock. I got lightheaded with amazement and lust. One of the great dreams of my life was about to come true, and I tried to commit the sight of Annie unbuttoning me to memory. My underwear-clad cock began to emerge more and more with each button, rising up to her grinning face, eager to meet her, to shake hands, to say hello. She tickled the tip of it playfully, amused at the way it jumped with each touch.“Little Hans wants out. Should I let him?”“Yes Fraulein. Zat would be lovely.” I tried to be funny and cool, but my voice cracked with tension.She pulled the band of my underwear down, and my cock sprang up in front of her face, looking quite impressive in the moonlight, if I may say so myself. Her eyes twinkled at the sight of it. “I stand corrected. Not little Hans. BIG Hans!” I'm glad she'd never seen Troy's cock! Then she touched my cock with her fingers, sending shivers up and down my spine. She began to bat it with her fist, making it bob about playfully. She'd obviously never seen a penis before, because she was utterly fascinated. She stroked it gently, and rolled my furry balls in her fingertips, giggling at the strange feel of me. I was in absolute heaven by this point. And when she leaned down and kissed the underside of my cock with her beautiful lips, my heart skipped a beat. She kissed it again and again, and the more she kissed it, the harder it got, which I didn't even think was possible. Finally she opened her mouth and the tip slipped between her warm, wet lips. I felt her teeth, her lips, her tongue, but mostly I saw. Really, it was the sight of her mouth, her beautiful, rosy mouth, wrapped around this most intimate part of me, which made my heart do loop-de-loops.She tongued me and kissed me and sucked me in a variety of ways. It was her turn now to experiment, and I loved every minute of it. After a while she unbuttoned my suspenders and pulled the shorts down, without bothering to take my boots off. She spread my thighs open and licked my furry balls, taking them into her mouth, while stroking my turgid shaft with her soft fingers. She was clumsy and inexperienced, but I didn't know better. It was perfect as far as I was concerned. I just laid back and let her service me, amazed at how much she got into it. She kept looking up at me with her baby blue eyes as she slobbered all over my cock, which was truly mind-blowing. I'd daydreamed about blowjobs for years, but the reality was so much better. I mean, this was literally one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen in my life, and she was sucking my cock. It was beyond wonderful. It was life altering.After only a few minutes of her wonderful mouth bobbing up and down on my cock, I began to feel the telltale signs of impending orgasm. “Oh shit, Annie, I'm gonna cum if you keep that up.”She looked up at me and said, “I want to feel you cum in my mouth, Hans. Is that okay?”I nodded, dazed with excitement. Then she sucked and slurped, putting her limber neck into it, and rolling my balls with her fingertips. The underside of my cock became so sensitive that I could feel every taste bud on her magical tongue. Then I felt a hot burst in my nuts, and I began to buck and writhe with the most incredible orgasm I'd ever felt. She kept sucking and jerking as I shot my seed into her mouth. Her cheeks quickly became distended, and cum began to ooze past her lips down my cock. Then I saw her gulping, and I realized she was actually swallowing my cum.I didn't get soft for a second, so she just swallowed and kept on sucking. Sure, my cock was so sensitive by this time that it almost felt painful being in her mouth, but I put up with the pain because I didn't want it to end. I had no idea when or if I'd ever get another blowjob. Happily I got over the hypersensitivity after a few minutes, and she continued to suck and slurp for another ten or fifteen minutes until I thought I was probably on the verge of cumming again.But then Annie suddenly sat up and grabbed her purse. My heart sank. I was certain she was going to check her watch and say it was time to go home. But instead she pulled out a little wrapper and clumsily tore it open. My head nearly exploded when I realized what she was doing. I'd totally forgotten to bring my condom with me. Thank God Annie was more organized than me. She tried to put it on my cock, but it was too dark to see that she was putting it on inside out. We both laughed as she yanked the stretchy rubber on my throbbing shaft. It was so hilarious that it almost took my mind off what was about to happen.Eventually she got the condom over about half my phallus, and said, “Well, that's as good as it gets, I guess!” Then she stepped out of her panties and squatted over me. I reached up and our fingers interlocked. I was filled with the most amazing love for Annie as she lowered her muff onto my pole. Then before I knew it, I felt the head of my scepter pushing against the tender flesh of her hymen. She paused, our eyes locked on each other. We both knew this was an important moment and should be savored. Then she lowered herself, with a deep groan, and popped her cherry on me. She slid all the way down with a throaty gasp, until I was totally immersed in her tight pussy. She sat there for a minute or two, and we looked at each other smiling. It was over. We were no longer virgins.“High five.” I said.We high-fived each other, smiling like crazy.I was thrilled with the thought that half of my cock, the part uncovered by the condom, was touching the inside of her sweet tunnel. She slowly lifted herself, then lowered herself. She was so tight around me, I might as well not have been wearing a condom. It was incredible.She moaned, “Oh fuck, Hans. You feel so big. Oh god. Oh god. What a great cock. Thank you. Thank you for this, Hans.”I was actually fucking a gorgeous half-Brazilian hottie in a pile of leaves, and she was actually thanking me. I looked up at her in wonder. The moonlight was glinting on her dark, shiny braids. As she slowly lifted herself up again her gorgeous lips opened to emit a moan of transcendent pleasure. I was moved more than words can convey.I blurted, “I love you.” Her blue eyes opened wide, and for a moment I was worried that I'd made a mistake. But then she began to pump her body up and down on me with crazy abandon, her eyes locked to mine, as she gave off beautiful, throaty moans.“Oh, oh, oh. You feel so good inside me. Oh yeah. So good. Goddamned fucking fantastic! Oh Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” Soon she was pounding herself on me faster, making the leaves rustle and bounce into the air. I reached up and yanked the front of her bra down, releasing her large brown breasts again. They looked amazing, bobbing and bouncing in the moonlight with those dark brown areolas flying up and down in a blur. Then I began to arch my pelvis in rhythm with her movements, rising up to meet her with each downstroke. The bare skin of our pelvises began slapping wetly together again and again. She was so wet, I could feel her juices dripping down my balls.Suddenly, a sharp, spine-tingling, high-pitched groan came from the bushes to our left. We froze in primal fear. I felt every hair on my headstand erect, and Annie's pussy tightened like a clamp around my shaft. After a few moments of silence, the bushes rustled, as if something was moving slowly around the edge of the clearing. It groaned again, weirder this time, sounding almost human, but I was certain it had to be an animal. Annie's face was contorted in terror. She pulled off me, and plopped to her hands and knees.She whispered desperately, “Come on. Fuck me Hans. Hurry up.”I couldn't believe she wanted to keep going. I wanted to run. As a matter of fact, I was scared shitless. But there she was, kneeling with her skirt bundled up, exposing her beautiful brown ass to the moonlight. I kneeled behind her and slowly slid my cock into her tight, trembling canal, while she looked at the bushes, following the eerie rustling sounds with her head. Man, oh, man, her hips felt good in my hands, and her pussy felt incredible around my cock. I began to pound her hard and fast, trying to work her up to another quivering orgasm. I felt myself building up to one too, but I was able to put it off longer than I normally could have, because my abdomen was clenched into a tight little fist of fear. But after thirty, forty, fifty strokes, she let out a little choking gasp, and warm juices surged out of her all around my shaft, splashing loudly into the leaves between her knees.At the moment of her climax a huge black flying thing burst out of the edge of the clearing and flew right at us then up out of sight making us both Scream! Right then I began to ejaculate, spurred on by fear and the shivering, quivering spasms that were rolling through her pussy and thighs. My orgasm seemed to go on and on for minutes, as I continued thrusting and squirting shot after shot into that wonderful girl. Or, into the condom, I should say.When my spasms finally ended, I pulled out of her and plopped into the leaves next to her. She crawled on top of me and whispered into my ear, “I love you too. Now let's get the hell out of here.”I yanked the fully loaded condom from my penis, and tossed it into the leaves, then we dressed hastily, laughing like idiots, and crawled in terror through the tunnel. Then we sprinted breathlessly, hand in hand through the park to her dorm. We didn't look back until we got through the doors in the foyer. I swear, it felt as something was chasing us the whole way, but when we turned to look out the glass doors, nothing was there but the cold October dawn. The sky was glowing with the first rays of morning light. We laughed and breathlessly talked about what an amazing night we'd had! But what the hell was that thing? We agreed it must have been a bird. What else could it have been?Only then did we realize that she'd bled a bit from her broken hymen. The brown crotch of my lederhosen had splashes of dark crimson, and her flowery skirt and white stockings were spattered too. But we both laughed, happy that the lobby was deserted at this hour. We held onto each other in the foyer until the morning sun broke over the treetops, casting October orange light on her bronze face, and filling her blue eyes with wonder. She was even more stunning than ever. We stood up and I kissed her goodnight, or good morning I guess. But before she went inside, I haltingly said, “Uh, do you think, that you'd like to, uh, go out with me again?”She smiled as if I'd just asked her the dumbest question in the world. “I'm your girlfriend, stupid.”My heart soared. I have a girlfriend!by CBSummers, for Literotica 

Originally released in November 2021, here's another episode that we've taken from the vault and remixed. We're taking a look at the career of Sir Mix-A-Lot, and discussing whether or not he has been unfairly stamped as a one hit wonder, due to the massive popularity of "Baby Got Back." Around these parts, we don't consider him a one hit wonder, and feel that his contributions to hip-hop exclude him from this label. *Turns up “Posse On Broadway” to ignorant levels*For more episodes, head to our website, troypodcast.com.If you're enjoying the content that we're making and you're looking for ways to support our independent podcast, here's a little something that you can do:Please leave us a 5 star rating or review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podchaser or Goodpods.If it's merch that you're looking for, check out our store, Nuthin' But A Tee Thang, at teethang.comSpreading the word about the show to your friends and family helps too.Sign up for our monthly newsletter, Liner Notes.However you choose to support, know that it is greatly appreciated as always.

TJ's worried about her posture, so she bought a back brace hoping to resolve that. Well, one problem leads to another. Plus, Wes is offended no one wants to see him naked.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/cdw! #rulapodSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

*The music in this video is copyrighted and all rights reserved to the respective copyright holders* Brad Zerbo and Jaytriot take us on a nostalgic ride through the land of One Hit Wonders in Part 1 of this two-part special. From the synth-pop sparkle of Kajagoogoo's “Too Shy” to the undeniable groove of “Baby Got Back” and “Groove Is in the Heart,” the duo covers a wide span of musical oddities and 80s/90s earworms that dominated the charts, once. Along the way, they share personal concert stories, music trivia, and unexpected facts (like Aldo Nova's post-hit career or the true story behind “My Sharona”). With riffs, impressions, and a whole lot of heart, this episode blends music history with hilarious anecdotes, making it a perfect kickoff for the weekend. Whether you're a diehard rocker or an undercover lover of cheesy pop hits, this episode is pure degroovy fun.

Send us a textWe take a break from ranking hip-hop legacies to dive into the world of one-hit wonders – those artists who captivated audiences with a single smash hit before fading from the spotlight. Our nostalgic journey explores the songs that defined moments in our lives but never found worthy successors.• Debating what truly constitutes a "one-hit wonder" – is it commercial success, cultural impact, or both• Birdglass's top picks including Jaquan's "Tipsy," Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby," and Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back"• Joe's selections featuring "Pop, Lock and Drop It," early 2000s pop gems, and the unforgettable "Return of the Mack"• Distinguishing between true one-hit wonders and artists with successful careers but only one major mainstream hit• Recognition that some of these songs weren't just hits but cultural moments that defined specific periods in our lives• Honorable mentions including Wayne Wonder, Brooke Valentine, and numerous forgotten hip-hop treasures• The surprising afterlives of one-hit wonder artists who found other paths to remain in the public eyeMake sure you check out the other Mixed Vibes podcasts: From My Perspective, the sports podcast, Distant Combos with K&S, Hope Please, I Said What I Said, and all the Mixed Vibes podcasts. Listen, follow, and we'll catch you in the next one!Youtube to https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPIs6Ko7BCc9l5jlE5AbAUqZ0gAOhmuq- https://mixed-vibez-drip.printify.me/

WE ARE BACK BABY! and its good to be back!!!On our first ep of 2025:Life catchups Ups, downs and flatlines Coupla stories Mysterious AFL playerExmouth tales

"It's just become part of my truth"See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Max and Roger talk about Baby Got Back, Coach Weasel, and female wrestlers as well as a new format for the show on Wednesday, March 26th 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sir Mix-A-Lot joins Ralph Sutton and Dov Davidoff and they discuss Sir Mix-A-Lot being born in Seattle and going to school with Duff McKagan, his bad ass mom making sure he was well-informed while growing up, the meaning and origin of "Swass," the Pussycat Dolls sampling Swass and the art of licensing, meeting Prince at Red Lobster, the major lessons learned after two bankruptcies, what Sir Mix-A-Lot learned from collaborating with rock bands, the whip sound in Baby Got Back and the true meaning of the song, gaining fiscal literacy and building a real estate portfolio, a game of Blind Ranking songs about butts, Sir Mix-A-Lot's first concert, first drug and first sexual experience and so much more!(Air Date: January 18th, 2025)Support our sponsors!YoKratom.com - Check out YoKratom (the home of the $60 kilo) for all your kratom needs!To advertise your product or service on GaS Digital podcasts please go to TheADSide.com and click on "Advertisers" for more information!You can watch The SDR Show LIVE for FREE every Wednesday and Saturday at 9pm ET at GaSDigitalNetwork.com/LIVEOnce you're there you can sign up at GaSDigitalNetwork.com with promo code: SDR for discount on your subscription which will give you access to every SDR show ever recorded! On top of that you'll also have the same access to ALL the shows that GaS Digital Network has to offer!Follow the whole show on social media!Sir Mix-A-LotTwitter: https://twitter.com/TheRealMixInstagram: https://instagram.com/TheRealSirMixALotDov DavidoffTwitter: https://twitter.com/DovDavidoffInstagram: https://instagram.com/DovDavidoffRalph SuttonTwitter: https://twitter.com/iamralphsuttonInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamralphsutton/The SDR ShowTwitter: https://twitter.com/theSDRshowInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesdrshow/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We're so glad that Fabby returned to back us up on this episode, because she brought slides! Yes it's the infamous "Baby Got Back" episode, but there's so much more going on here. No one knows how feminism or legal investigations work, but least there are snowballs at the Snow Ball. Fabby can be found on bluesky @fabbybear.itch.io. Support her work on Eidolon and SuperWhoLumbo! If you want to contact us we can be found at loserlikemepod@gmail.com, or @loserlikemepod.bsky.social on BlueSky. Tanner can be found there @SparkyUpstart, and Christina @CWoodsArt. Check out the Corner Pod Net Discord here: https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe.

NFL 3up 3 down. Heisman odds... where is Dillon Gabriel? How does the big Ten tiebreaker work? A different version of Baby Got Back than you've ever heard.

Fantasy Wildcard Dynasty - Episode 208 - The Best 3 Ali (FFDynastyGrill) Mags (HotseatMags) & Kev (@TheDynastyMind) review week eight of the NFL action, with dynasty winners and losers from this week's biggest storylines. When you have the Wildcard, you have the power to change the game!!!

Unlike Yelich's back, at least that worked! A loaded 6a hour including an Opening Day to State Fair celebration! CEO Shari Black joins the program. We also have Jen Lada's thoughts on holding your spouse's gold medal, and Matt LaFleur doesn't know it's going to be hot in Brazil

We're baaaaack! We interrupt our summer break to bring you this charming episode. We'll see y'all in July

Let's talk about bullies, the Baby Got Back song, people getting attacked by bees, bruises, a woman named Kendra, and so much more! Right here on the Professionally Silly podcast! Let's get silly! Pictures for this episode can be found on the podcast Instagram @itsprosilly. Call/text my Google voice number call/text 805-664-1828 and hear yourself on a podcast episode!  This episode is brought to you by KOLOR ME BAD HAIR STUDIO  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nekisha_kolormebadhairstudio/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kolormebadstudio/ Book your appointment today! https://kolormebad.as.me/schedule.php “OMG, meet the real 'Becky' from 'Baby Got Back'” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehA02-_sah8  PARANORMAL BLACKTIVITY YOUTUBE CHANNEL https://www.youtube.com/@paranormalblacktivity8983  ~MUSIC BY  “The Truth” by Anno Domini Beats “We Cruisin” by Otis McDonald “Coast” by Anno Domini Beats ~LINKTREE https://linktr.ee/Ambersmilesjones ~Join my Professionally Silly YouTube channel membership to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEabIsoT5wrN5hRSgY7wnYQ/join  ******************* Amber “Smiles” Jones PO BOX 533 Lovejoy, GA 30250 *************************** Email me: itsprofessionallysilly@gmail.com  Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FAVORITE/REVIEW❤️ CALL ME 805-664-1828 ************************************ PAYPAL  https://www.paypal.me/ambersmilesjones STEREO https://stereo.com/trusmilesjones INSTAGRAM http://instagram.com/itsprosilly   --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/amber-smiles-jones/message

This more or less speaks for itself. It was inspired by the J. Lo song "Booty" of which I am not a fan as well as "Dance Ten, Looks Three" from A Chorus Line. This song is not meant to malign the national treasure that is "Baby Got Back."

ARE YOU READY TO GET MAYORAL?! OF COURSE YOU ARE! Alyia Gaskins is up first! We've had two mayoral eps in the can since April, but we've been holdin' 'em back, hoping to complete the trifecta for you! But it's gettin' late in the cycle, so we're giving the people what they want—just in time to get smart before Election Day! Listen up, and tell all your friends! The Quinta Brunson Program! AG is a Gemini! What does that mean? Nugget & Fang DRP after Music Together! Bathroom decor? No thanks, function over form for this lady! Alexandria's Birthday AGAIIIINNNN. But finally, someone said Baby Got Back! Shirley Chisholm—"took nothing from no one!" What's YOUR Meyers Briggs type? As promised, Anh: ENFP, Sandy: ENTP, Kristen: INFJ, Marta: no idea, but we're betting it starts with an E!, Rashmi: ISFP, Joy: ESFP Fig 28, page 101: how our climate plans and programs work together If Alyia and Sarah both win, they're getting TANDEM BIKE! Alexandria eviction courts are packed, y'all. Not good. What keeps up at night: Dying too soon: New report reveals deep and persistent health disparities in Northern Virginia Binders full of budget! Add: funding for construction of Cora Kelly + George Mason, and $4 million for teacher compensation Add: expanding senior tax relief (with McPike) Add: Youth, Safety + Resilience Effort, with youth ambassadors! Alyia's Shemar Moore-heavy 2021 LibSoc ep! alyiaforalexandria.com

GUEST: Geri Mayer-Judson, Show Contributor Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Food Banks Canada gives B.C. a D+ in poverty report card.  GUEST: David Long, CEO of the Greater Vancouver Food Bank Bandits Basketball is Back! What to expect from the Vancouver team this season GUEST: Kyle Julius, General Manager and Head Coach for the Vancouver Bandits Why is the province looking to fill the Massey Tunnel with sand? GUEST: Richard Zussman, Global BC Legislative Reporter Apple Music releases ‘Best 100 Albums' list  GUEST: Geri Mayer-Judson, Show Contributor Sound of Baby Got Back: our AI music future   GUEST: Geri Mayer-Judson, Show Contributor Should companies pay ransom to save their data from hackers? GUEST: Hank Fordham aka “Hank the Hacker” , Cybersecurity specialist with X10 Technologies  QMUNITY announces free, in-house legal clinic to open later this year GUEST: Geri Mayer-Judson, Show Contributor & Felix Gilliland, Education & Engagement Manager at QMUNITY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bleach Blonde. Bad Built. Butch Body. the power of it and our response. Why we stan Rep. Jasmine Crockett. Surviving Diddy Part 8 - The hotel surveillance video release by CNN and Diddy's weak apology video via Instagram. For context, we did a full episode about the CNN video: https://youtu.be/_g7yJQN18wU?si=sseTQg3jkD-UYFEi --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jason-clark-fox/support

Monday (pt 1 of 2): On today's Late Riser's Podcast, we tap into the NASA resources and give you the latest on this afternoon's total solar eclipse.. - We'll give the A.I. folks another shot at what Elvis Pressley would sound like singing, “Baby Got Back” - and then cut them loose on Johnny Cash singing, “I'm a Barbie Girl”.. - Carl Childers tells us about a Spring Fling Festival he went to with Tater and Pillars.. - Terry Hanson has Sports Briefs.. - and will wrap things up with a visit from the Rev. Sincere & Goober, with Gooberette on the organ! ℗®© 2024 John Boy & Billy, Inc.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Monday (pt 2 of 2): On today's Late Riser's Podcast, we tap into the NASA resources and give you the latest on this afternoon's total solar eclipse.. - We'll give the A.I. folks another shot at what Elvis Pressley would sound like singing, “Baby Got Back” - and then cut them loose on Johnny Cash singing, “I'm a Barbie Girl”.. - Carl Childers tells us about a Spring Fling Festival he went to with Tater and Pillars.. - Terry Hanson has Sports Briefs.. - and will wrap things up with a visit from the Rev. Sincere & Goober, with Gooberette on the organ! ℗®© 2024 John Boy & Billy, Inc.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Maurie is no longer wearing a cast on his arm. New A.I. song remixes ‘Baby Got Back' with Leonard Cohen. Conjoined twins Abby & Britney get married. McDonalds releases new song by Lil Yachty. Arnold Schwarzenegger talks competition between action movie stars in the 80s. 

*5:00am:    Shows That Shouldn't Be Remade *6:00am:    Amazon Returns Cheap or Smart, Middle School Teacher Rant, Jess from Mix 106.5 Baltimore *7:00am:    March Tadness West Coast Bracket, March Tadness East Coast Bracket *8:00am:    Blessing In Disguise, Try It Tuesday: Broccoli Freckles, Calling “Dibs” On Someone *9:00am:    Bad Customer Service Experience  

We call Dublin for St. Patrick's Day. We'll run down everything that Mark Wahlberg eats in a day. ‘Canada's Got Talent' judges Kardi & Trish Status chat about the new season. Plus, a new AI song mixing ‘Baby Got Back' with ‘My Humps' you won't want to miss! 

The YouTube channel "Their I Ruined It" made a remix to the song "Baby Got Back" like you've never heard it before.

BABY GOT BACK! Dobro razpoloženemu Luksu, sta Matko in Tilc skozi epizodo uspela skravžljati živčke z nasprotujočimi se mnenji o Giannisu Antetoštumfu, Dubaju v Evroligi in prihodnosti evropske košarke. Dobri stari Dvokorak, ko so mnenja močno različna, pogrešali smo te. Rangiramo tudi trenerje lige NBA po njihovi kakovosti in se vsaj tu v večini strinjamo. […]

A.I. has created some insane images, articles, movies and songs. AI really outdid itself now by creating a version of Simon and Garfunkel doing Sir Mix-A-Lots ‘Baby Got Back!' This is a must listen!

We are joined by G'Ra and Rihanna from the band Baby Got Back Talk. Forming in 2017, the band have been making catchy, pop punk songs and have attracted a large following. We discuss the band's formation and how they ended up on Wiretap Records. G'Ra recently wrote a piece for the Boston Globe 'A rollicking rebuke to the idea that rock music isn't black music'. This was a pushback against recent comments from Rolling Stone cofounder, Jann Wenner.  Baby Got Back Talk have put together a mixtape full of artists demonstrating that Wenner's argument that woman and people of colour 'didn't articulate at that level' within rock music is nonsense.  The band will also be releasing a new song and video which will accompany the article and mixtape. Keep an eye out for this soon. In the mean time, check out the most recent EP from the band 'Wince, Repeat', available everywhere. Also mentioned at the beginning of this episode are Essex band Sharp Eyes. If you haven't already, check out their fantastic new single 'Past Your Best'. Apple Spotify Instagram Twitter Facebook Email

Head to https://factormeals.com/edb50 and use EDB50 to get 50% off!Visit https://thrivecausemetics.com/LAWNERD for 20% off your first order.Go to https://shopify.com/lawnerd now to grow your business – no matter what stage you're in.I have questions for Sir Mix-a-Lot! We talk about the music industry, UMG, TikTok, and AI! Anthony L. Ray is a rapper, songwriter, and record producer best known for his 1992 hit, "Baby Got Back". He was so generous with his time as we had this conversation during the Hannah Gutierrez - Rust Armorer trial. He shares words of wisdom for up-and-coming artists and his personal experience being a litigant in a lawsuit over his copyrights, licensing, and creations. Send him some love on his social media and his upcoming events!Connect with Sir Mix-a-Lot:https://www.instagram.com/therealsirmixalothttps://twitter.com/therealmixhttps://www.facebook.com/sirmixalotofficialhttps://www.youtube.com/@SirMixAlotChannelThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podsights - https://podsights.com/privacyPodscribe - https://podscribe.com/privacyChartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Mark and Gary reconnect for their Sunday tradition as they dive into the latest in the Fani Willis and Nathan Wade disqualification motion. They start off with a very humorous clip that's flown way under the radar before transitioning to more serious clips of Trump's co-defendant's lawyer Ashleigh Merchant testifying before the Georgia Senate on a variety of topics. She touches on Nathan Wade's billing practices and compensation as well as demonstrating another inconsistency in Fani's testimony involving a visit to The White House. Watch Beyond A Reasonable Doubt and all Reasonable Doubt video content on YouTube exclusively at YouTube.com/ReasonableDoubtPodcast and subscribe while you're there.

It's time to dig deep into the Sir Mix-A-Lot catalog, but first we'll get into some Skull & Bones, a little Last Epoch, the PlayStation layoffs, Ninja Five-0, those Xbox games coming to Switch and PS5, and more. Get ad-free podcasts, bonus shows and more over on Patreon!Support the show at https://patreon.com/jeffgerstmann

This week we reconnect for our first "solo" episode of the year. We talk about what we've been up to during the break and how we feel about moving forward with comedy. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/attempted-delivery/support

Beck, Taylor Hawkins, and Sir Paul McCartney walk into a bar — or do they? Charlie rants about a YouTube channel called Drumeo where drummers are given songs without drums and asked to figure out a drum part after two listens. Wil tries to find a parallel between drummers and comedians but in a rare twist, Charlie smacks his theory down. Is this the beginning of a changing hierarchy in the TOFOP Universe? Probably not. TOFOP merch, patreon, and more: https://linktr.ee/TOFOP See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thanksgiving game is Packers Super Bowl, Aaron Nagler, Baby Got Back, 5 Wide, and more!

“I like big butts and I cannot lie.” No, that wasn't a Winston Churchill quote. It's the iconic first lyric of Seattle-based rapper Sir Mix-a-Lot's 1992 smash hit “Baby Got Back”. While your grandma's out cuttin' a rug at the wedding reception to a song about anacondas and gettin' sprung, it can often be forgotten that the song is actually an anthem of body positivity. His music tends to walk a fine line between well-intentioned and super horny, so this week, we'll dial 1-900-MIXALOT and see if we can kick some thoughts about why he could never repeat the success of this song. If you like the show, be sure to rate, review, and subscribe. Email us at onehitthunderpodcast@gmail.com. Also, follow us on our social media: Twitter: @‌1hitthunderpod Instagram: onehitthunderpodcast Wanna create your own podcast? Contact us at We Know Podcasting for more information. Visit Punchline: A Band Called Punchline | Pittsburgh, PA for Punchline tour dates, news, and merch. Sign up for more One Hit Thunder on our Patreon One Hit Thunder | Patreon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As October comes to a close, we sat down with pain expert and anesthesiologist Dr. Krishna Shah of Baylor College of Medicine to discuss one of the most common health issues among men: back pain. He discusses how prevalent back pain is, when we can typically expect it to start, and the common causes. In this illuminating interview, Dr. Shah shares alarming statistics on how the majority experience low back pain and sciatica at some point. He walks us through the typical culprits like heavy lifting, prolonged sitting, and herniated discs that often strike as early as age 40. Dr. Shah also provides insights on identifying the root causes such as back muscle strains or damaged discs. He emphasizes the importance of proper diagnosis to determine the best treatment approach whether it be pain medications, physical therapy, injections, or surgery. Don't end the month still questioning your aches and pains. Tune in for this enlightening discussion that empowers you to take control of your lower back health, understand sciatica, and find relief. New episode is now available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon, and YouTube. Go to manscaped.com and use the code “MANUP” and get 20% off your first purchase.

*5:00am:   Odd Addiction *6:00am:   Arguments In Your Profession, 2 Truths 1 Lie: Drake's Dad *7:00am:   Saving A Quail's Life, Throwback Throwdown Quiz *8:00am:   Most Iconic Songs, Mrs. Martinez Pop Culture Quiz, Attracted to Other People *9:00am:  Dating A Momma's Boy, NSYNC Reunion

Look there  is not much to say here. dumb stuff happens in space and there is some gross stuff said, you have been warned.We are four scatterbrains who try their best to play DND.Our logo is by Gaibrial Morton, you can find him on Instagram at: instagram.com/eustace_the_knight/Our intro/outro music is "Thin Air" by Roie Shpigl.Support the show

I'm old enough to remember back when Body Count was the name of Ice-T's band, which produced the single Cop Killer. This was back before he made his bones by pursuing his true passion as a detective in New York City. So women's body count has become the new version of Baby Got Back. You've got Becky on one side critiquing other women's assets, while other women argue that it shouldn't matter at all. What's the truth? Does it matter at all? It's pretty obvious that it's going to come down to what a woman values in life and whether her chosen body count gets her there. This is made more difficult, of course, if people aren't willing to be honest about what they want. In other matters, we've got a woman with the curious practice of freezing her sex partner's used condoms, presumably to save the semen. But what for? Is it really that hard to get a man to give you his semen the natural way? Maybe she thinks freezing the condom will turn her baby into some kind of superhero. Ice-Man or something. And, what's the best way for a man to signal his impending orgasm when receiving oral? We get a lot of our questions from Reddit and X (formerly Twitter), so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week: https://ymmv.me/134/condom https://ymmv.me/134/bodycount https://ymmv.me/134/signal Twitter: @ymmvpod Facebook: ymmvpod Email: ymmvpod@gmail.com

Filmmmaker Jeannette Godoy screens her romcom feature film "Diamond In The Rough" on September 22nd as part of the NY Latino Film Festival at the Regal Union Square. Jeannette is a talented writer, producer, director and my lovely wife. She started in the business as a dancer/choreographer, choreographing Sir Mix A Lot's "Baby Got Back" before making her first commercial for Bridgestone Tires that took her to Cannes Lions Festival over there in France. Along the way, she's directed dozens of spots for Nike, Bumble, CDC, PetSmart and more. During the pandemic she created a web series "Pure Corazòn" for Bumble, then directed her first episode of television for HBO Max's "The Garcias".  A few months later, the studio making "Diamond In The Rough" had her pitch on the film and she was in prep 5 days later. It's a great story.  We chat about the commonalities and differences of her many gigs, her latest passion project and documentaries. Of course we plug the NY Latino Film Festival and hope you can make it out. Here's the trailer for the movie. Click my name for your MAGIC MIND discount code: JORDANB - so gobble it up. If you follow me on Instagram you've liekly seen my unpaid endorsment of this mind power juice. EVENTSMy next in-person Commercial Directing Bootcamp is Saturday, January 20th, 2024. Sign up soon or miss out. Check out my Masterclass or Commercial Directing Shadow online courses. (Note this link to the Shadow course is the one I mention in the show.) All my courses come with a free 1:1 mentorship call with yours truly. Taking the Shadow course is the only way to win a chance to shadow me on a real shoot! DM for details. How To Pitch Ad Agencies and Director's Treatments Unmasked are now bundled together with a free filmmaker consultation call, just like my other courses. Serious about making spots? The Commercial Director Mega Bundle for serious one-on-one mentoring and career growth.   Jeannette Godoy's hilarious romcom “Diamond In The Rough” streams on the YouTube, Tubi and more. Please support my wife filmmaker Jeannette Godoy's romcom debut. It's “Mean Girls” meets “Happy Gilmore” and crowds love it.   Thanks,   Jordan    This episode is 95 minutes. My cult classic mockumentary, “Dill Scallion” is online so I'm giving 100% of the money to St. Jude Children's Hospital. I've decided to donate the LIFETIME earnings every December, so the donation will grow and grow. Thank you. Respect The Process podcast is brought to you by True Gentleman Industries, Inc. in partnership with Brady Oil Entertainment, Inc.

Adam DeVine and Nina Dobrev chat about the new movie ‘The Outlaws'. Rainn Wilson was unhappy during the days of ‘The Office'. New A.I. song with Elvis singing ‘Baby Got Back'. We'll play a round of ‘5IN7'. We actually try the Thailand Burger King ‘Real Cheeseburger'. Maurie gets his invite to Roz's wedding. Plus, how do you pronounce ‘Mango'?

Hour 4 - Gresh and Fauria continued to discuss the New England Patriots and how many wins they could have in the 2023 season.  Before Are You Done?, the guys talked about the AI-generated rendition of "Baby Got Back" by Elvis Presley.

The Migs Report. Today is Reese's Lovers Day and Visit Your Relatives Day.

What do Enlightenment-era paintings, 19th-century American fashion magazines, and Sir Mix-A-Lot's “Baby Got Back” have in common? They're all examples of what fatphobia has to do with race, class, and gender discrimination. This week, we're re-releasing one of our favorite episodes from the archives, with Dr. Sabrina Strings. Learn all about the origins of anti-fat bias, and how it persists today.Listened to this one last year? We promise—it's worth revisiting!Sabrina Strings, Ph.D. is a Chancellor's Fellow and Associate Professor of Sociology at the University of California, Irvine. Sabrina has been featured in dozens of venues, including BBC News, NPR, Huffington Post, Vox, Los Angeles Times, Essence, Vogue, and goop. Her writing has appeared in diverse venues including, The New York Times, Scientific American, Ethnic and Racial Studies, and Signs: Journal of Women in Culture and Society. Her book, Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia (2019), was awarded the 2020 Best Publication Prize by the Body & Embodiment Section of the American Sociological Association.You can follow Dr. Strings on Twitter @SaStrings and check out her website, sabrinastrings.com. Want to learn more? Here are some books and resources Dr. Strings recommends:Da'Shaun Harrison's Belly of the BeastSonya Renee Taylor's The Body Is Not An ApologyDr. Joy Cox's Fat Girls In Black BodiesRoxane Gay's HungerTressie McMillan Cottom's THICKDr. Jill Andrew's workNAAFAFollow us on Instagram and Twitter @CuriousWithJVN to join the conversation. Jonathan is on Instagram @JVN and @Jonathan.Vanness on Facebook. Transcripts for each episode are available at JonathanVanNess.com. Find books from past Getting Curious guests at bookshop.org/shop/curiouswithjvn; we'll be updating it soon with more releases! Our executive producer is Erica Getto. Our editor is Andrew Carson. Production support from Julie Carrillo, Chris McClure, and Erin McKeon. Our theme music is “Freak” by QUIÑ; for more, head to TheQuinCat.com.

Rhuarc, David, Greg, Siobhan, and Samaria return for their rewatch of Season 1, Episode 4 - The Dragon Reborn! The crew answers important questions, like: what Ajah is Mariah Carey? Final question for the panel: if you could bring one item with you into the Wheel of Time universe, what would it be? Remember to donate some money to support friend of the pod Koala Sedai as she continues her good work running a preserve for koalas. Please donate by visiting her website at: https://koalagardens.net.au/shop/product/rhuarc-for-the-koala-wookies/. And if saving koalas isn't enough incentive, if we raise $1000 we will post a delightful video of Rhuarc singing "Baby Got Back" a cappella at a goth convention. Want to join the watch party? Do you have a question you need answered? A theory? Or an answer to the final question?  Contact us at: Website: https://wotwatchparty.wordpress.com/  Email: wotwatchparty@gmail.com Twitter: @wotwatchparty | https://twitter.com/WOTWatchParty Discord: https://tinyurl.com/5n84fkez  You can also find Rhuarc and Saimma on Facebook moderating WOT fan communities:  Cold Rocks Hold: An Inclusive Wheel of Time Fan Community Wheel of Time TV Series Wheel of Time TV Series - No Spoilers Page OTHER WATCH PARTY PODCASTS Watch Party: Lord of the Rings - https://watchpartylotr.podbean.com/  A Watch Party of Ice and Fire - https://watchpartyiaf.podbean.com/  CREDITS Intro and Outro Music: Find You, by Lion Spring (Rebekah Rolland). https://www.rebekahrolland.com/  SPONSORS 4KatsBoutique on Etsy This is a production of the Watch Party Podcast Network.

Thirty years ago, Sir Mix-a-Lot sang “Baby Got Back.” But the fascination with the derriere is as old as time itself. Heather Radke is an essayist and contributing editor and reporter at Radiolab. She joins host Krys Boyd to discuss our understanding of the backside – from evolutionary biology to its sexualization – and why power points in its direction. Her book is “Butts: A Backstory.”

Lena Dunham posing in a teeny-weeny bikini...Meghan Markle tries to steal the show at the Queen's Jubilee.

What do Enlightenment-era paintings, 19th-century American fashion magazines, and Sir Mix-A-Lot's “Baby Got Back” have in common? They're all strong examples of what fatphobia has to do with race, class, and gender discrimination. This week, learn all about the origins of anti-fat bias, and how it persists today, with Professor Sabrina Strings. Sabrina Strings, Ph.D. is a Chancellor's Fellow and Associate Professor of Sociology at the University of California, Irvine. Sabrina has been featured in dozens of venues, including BBC News, NPR, Huffington Post, Vox, Los Angeles Times, Essence, Vogue, and goop. Her writing has appeared in diverse venues including, The New York Times, Scientific American, Ethnic and Racial Studies, and Signs: Journal of Women in Culture and Society. Her book, Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia (2019), was awarded the 2020 Best Publication Prize by the Body & Embodiment Section of the American Sociological Association.You can follow Dr. Strings on Twitter @SaStrings and check out her website sabrinastrings.com. Want to learn more? Here are some books and resources she recommends:Da'Shaun Harrison's The Belly of the BeastSonya Renee Taylor's The Body Is Not An ApologyDr. Joy Cox's Fat Girls In Black BodiesRoxane Gay's HungerTressie McMillan Cottom's THICKDr. Jill Andrew's workNAAFAJoin the conversation, and find out what former guests are up to, by following us on Instagram and Twitter @CuriousWithJVN. Jonathan is on Instagram and Twitter @JVN and @Jonathan.Vanness on Facebook.Transcripts for each episode are available at JonathanVanNess.com. Love listening to Getting Curious? Now, you can also watch Getting Curious—on Netflix! Head to netflix.com/gettingcurious to dive in.Our executive producer is Erica Getto. Our associate producer is Zahra Crim. Our editor is Andrew Carson. Our socials are run and curated by Middle Seat Digital. Our theme music is “Freak” by QUIÑ; for more, head to TheQuinCat.com. Getting Curious merch is available on PodSwag.com.