Podcasts about Lederhosen

Billionaires. They should be objects of scorn rather than envy. While they ride around in their super-yachts and private jets, producing the climate-damaging pollution of entire nations, they're doing things to extract even more wealth, harm your health, diminish democracy, and rig the whole system in their favor. How did this happen? Why do we tolerate it? How can we stop the billionaires? And can we get a hold of our own super-yacht for Crazy Town pleasure cruises? Chuck Collins returns to Crazy Town to offer insights from his new book, Burned by Billionaires: How Concentrated Wealth and Power Are Ruining Our Lives and Planet. Originally recorded on 10/3/25.Sources/Links/Notes:Chuck Collins, Burned by Billionaires: How Concentrated Wealth and Power Are Ruining Our Lives and Planet, The New Press, October 2025.Chuck Collins, Born on Third Base: A One Percenter Makes the Case for Tackling Inequality, Bringing Wealth Home, and Committing to the Common Good, Chelsea Green Publishing, September 2016.Chuck Collins, The Wealth Hoarders: How Billionaires Pay Millions to Hide Trillions, Polity, January 2022.Related episode(s) of Crazy Town:Episode 10, "Tackling Inequality, One Pair of Lederhosen at a Time"Episode 43, "Overproduction of Elites and Political Upheaval, or... the Story of Rich People Doing Stupid Things"

Allen and RD try the 2025 Okt by Altstadt Brewery out of Fredericksburg, Texas. From Untappd:"In tradition with the classic German Märzen styles originally served at Oktoberfest. Mild hopping compliments the rich combination of Pilsner, Vienna and Munich malts which give this brew its beautiful light copper color. Lederhosen not required (although encouraged)."5.9% ABV16 IBUThanks for watching! Prost!#beer #craftbeer #beerreview #craftbeerreview #altstadt #marzen #oktoberfestBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/strikeout-beer--2992189/support.

Die Lederhose ist das hauptsächliche männliche Beinkleid bei Volksfesten. Und sie darf eigentlich nicht kaputt gehen...

I've spoken to Sunny Gilbert at Melbourne's Hofbrauhaus before and it was such a delight to catch up with him again, especially at this time of year. He'd just flown back from Munich, where Oktoberfest really is as big, loud and joyful as everyone says: ten beer tents, each crammed with 10,000 people, steins thudding on tables, bands lifting whole crowds onto benches. Back in Melbourne, at Hofbrauhaus, Sunny and his team are keeping that spirit alive all October: bigger bands, stronger beer, stein-holding contests, and plenty of schnitzel and knuckle to go around. Get your Dirndls and Lederhosen on and let's go! Now, I have a spring head cold, so I apologise for my voice. I'd like to think it sounds resonant and alluring, but I am fairly certain it just sounds like I have a cold. The show must go on.

Who WOULDN'T want to see that?!?!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

#craftbeer #jimmykimmel #charliekirk Wait...did something happen last week? Yes, we did hear the Charlie Kirk news last week, just hours before recording. No, we did not mention it. But that changes today, after a week of political and social fallout that's opened a Pandora's box of censorship, consequences, and uncertainty on both sides of the aisle. We discuss Jimmy Kimmel's perplexing suspension, the irony of a free-speech advocate's a********* causing a First Amendment crisis, and more. To round things out, we finish with Paul Thomas Anderson's highly anticipated new movie, One Battle After Another --- but not the film itself. No, instead, we break down the mind-boggling advertising campaign that may hurt the film at the box office. Keep speaking truth to power, fighting for free speech, and drinking good beer, Brewskis. Beer of the Week: Cigar City Brewing Sorry I Party Festbier & Lederhosen, Lederhosen, Lederhosen Marzen 0:00 Intro 5:50 Obe Went To Tampa 9:21 Dealing With The Charlie Kirk News 14:22 The Reactions To His A********* 22:50 The Hypocrisy of the Right's Censorship Crackdown 34:53 FCC Chairman Brendan Carr Threatens ABC | Pressures Jimmy Kimmel's Suspension 47:32 Our Thoughts on Tampa, Florida 59:37 Why Was One Battle After Another Marketed So Weirdly? 10:40 Reviewing Leonardo DiCaprio's Career 1:40:03 Cheers of the Week: My Chemical Romance & Robert Redford 2:06:18 Beers Review

Heute beginnt die Wiesn – das größte Volksfest der Welt. Woran denken wir zuerst? Schicke Dirndl und Lederhosen, ausgelassenes Feiern mit Bier und bayerischen Delikatessen? Klar, auch. Aber am interessantesten ist doch wie immer der Blick hinter die Kulissen: Was macht die Wiesn zu der wertvollen Marke, die sie ist? Wie kommuniziert man in den Festzelten, wenn alle anderen feiern? Wie bereitet man seine Mitarbeitenden auf Ausnahmesituationen vor und wie behält man bei all dem dann auch noch selbst einen kühlen Kopf?  Darüber spreche ich in der heutigen Episode mit zwei Menschen, für die genau das der Alltag ist: Christian Schottenhamel, Festwirt in 4. Generation des traditionsreichen Schottenhamel-Zelts, und Benedikt Brandmeier, Leiter Tourismus und Veranstaltungen der Stadt München und in dieser Eigenschaft auch Veranstalter des Oktoberfests.  Wir reden über Führung im Festzelt und darüber, was den “Suchtfaktor” der Wiesn ausmacht, denn nicht nur die Gäste kommen wieder, sondern auch sagenhafte 90 Prozent der Mitarbeitenden sind immer wieder mit von der Partie. Was können Organisationen davon lernen?

We're joined by Cory for this week's Blizzard Watch Podcast. There's no one big news item this week, but lots of tidbits around a ton of different games. For instance, Brewfest begins next week, and there's a new mount and some transmog, but everything else is same ol same ol. There's a Diablo 4 seasonal switchover coming soon with a very horrifyingly cute fox pet, plus a whole lot of WoW Classic phases and seasons.Our favorite news of the week may be that Hades 2 has an official release date. Even though it's been in Early Access for a while, this means we'll finally get to see all those juicy heartwrenching story beats we've come to expect -- and play it on the Switch.If you have a few minutes, please fill out our survey to tell us what you think about the podcast. This data is collected by our podcast host, Acast, and will be used to help us improve the show as well as attract potential sponsors. Your answers are completely anonymous. We appreciate your help!If you enjoy the show, please support us on Patreon, where you can get these episodes early and ad-free! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Power of Dirndls and Lederhosen: Part 2Hans finds his confidence and the fraulein, too.Based on the post by cb summers, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Connected.PART TWO – October 6, 1992Normally I found it impossible to be spontaneous around hot chicks like this, but something about being in that costume, thinking about my grandfather's irrepressible charm brought out a boldness in me which I didn't normally possess. I put my arm around this hot, blue-eyed fraulein and said, in my worst German accent, “Yah, and dis here is mein liebchen, Helga Boob en schteen.”She corrected me comically, “Not Boob en schteen, Boob en schtein!” Everyone in the entire room laughed themselves silly. Then Helga loudly introduced the girls. “May I introducen mein fellow pledges from ze Tau Nu Upsilon Sorority? Ya, dis here is Gertruda Cock en suck en.”Everyone laughed at her crude pun, but I clicked my heels together very seriously, like a proper Austrian man, and said “Guten abend, Gertruda,” then I bowed and kissed the back of the adorable redhead's soft little hand.Helga went on, pointing to a busty little African American girl, who looked quite stunning in her bright orange dirndl. “And zis here is little Heidi Ho. Yah, she's an actual ho!” I clicked my heels together, and kissed Heidi's hand. “And dis vun here ist Muschi von Kitten licker.” Muschi, who had short black hair and snow-white skin, leaned forward and presented her cheek to me, so I kissed it, laying my lips on the second female of my life. Her skin was as soft as silk.Helga gestured toward a cute blonde with bright pink circles painted on her cheeks, saying, “And, finally, mein beste freunden, Hildegard Fuck me up the ass en stein, the third.” Hildegard laughed, then turned and wiggled her ass at me. I bowed deeply and said, “Very nice to meet you, Herr Fuck me up the ass en stein.” She wiggled her ass again, right in my face, so I leaned down a little farther and kissed her right on her behind, and the crowd went wild. I was surprising the shit out of myself. My grandfather's DNA was having a field day with my confidence. I raised my oversized prop stein, and shouted, “Beer! Ve must haff beer!”Helga had an identical stein, and so we filled them together from the keg and chugged them while everyone clapped, until they were empty. I saw that beer was leaking out of her defective stein and dripping all over her glorious, copper colored cleavage, making her white top wet enough for me to see the lacy blue bra she was wearing under it. Oh shit. I couldn't take my eyes off her tits. She caught me looking, but instead of getting mad, she just looked down at her breasts and said, “Oops. I can be zo clumzy zometimes, liebchen! You know how I am!” She ran her fingers over her soaked cleavage.I don't know what came over me, but I took her wrist in my hand and said, clicking my heels together, “Allow me, fraulein Boob en schtein.” And I wrapped my lips around her fingertips and licked them dry of beer. She just stared at me with the biggest smile on her face, and her eyes twinkling. My god! Who was I?I had no idea what to do next, but some joker saved me by playing a polka on the stereo. Without missing a beat, Helga shouted, “Shall ve dance, mein liebchen?” She didn't even wait for me to answer. She just grabbed my hand and dragged me to the middle of the floor and we started to polka.I'd been to a few polkas when I was a kid, so I knew the basic moves, and a few of the special ones, and I guess Helga had been to a few polkas too, because she kept right up with me. Soon, everyone was clapping and cheering and snapping photographs, and at least ten others, who knew how to polka, joined in, including Heidi Ho! Where a black girl learned to polka is anybody's guess. When the song finally ended, I lifted my stein and shouted the traditional Oktoberfest starting cheer, which for some reason popped to mind even though I thought I'd forgotten it years ago “O' zapft is! The Keg Is Tapped! Let Oktoberfest Begin!”After the ear-splitting cheer, the music switched back to hip hop, and the lights dimmed, and the disco lights began to flash, and soon Helga and I were dancing in the center of a crowd, this time gyrating like fools, just like everyone else on the dance floor. By the third song, I was utterly smitten with her. She had such a bold, fearless spirit, that I just let all of my nerdy inhibitions go, and danced, not caring how stupid I looked, because my eyes were glued to her. Her breasts. Her coppery face. Her stunning, sky-blue eyes. And she was looking right back at me, sometimes smiling, but sometimes with an expression on her face that reminded me of the expression I'd seen on Briona's face while Troy was fucking her. Damn. Helga was giving me sex face! It was unbelievably cool!The third song was a raunchy rap song that was bit that year, Baby Got Back, and suddenly Heidi Ho, Helga's black friend, appeared in front of me and started grinding her ass against my crotch. I'd never danced like this before, but there were other couples doing it, so I put my hands on her hips and grinded away. I started to get a boner, so I turned around, afraid she might feel it. But then Gertruda Cocken sucken, an adorable freckle-faced girl, with vivid red hair, started grinding her ass into my crotch instead, apparently unconcerned about the fact that I was rubbing my erection against her. Or maybe even enjoying it! It was an incredible feeling. Then Heidi put her arms around me from behind, and started grinding her crotch against my ass, and now I was sandwiched between two Bavarian hotties, feeling Heidi's firm tits rubbing all over my back. My mind was now officially blown. But I rolled with it. Why the fuck not? It was Oktoberfest!Midnight in the campus park.Then when that song ended, Hildegard Fuck me up the ass en stein switched with Heidi, and Helga von Boob en schtein switched with Gertruda, and now I was feeling Helga's large, coppery tits flopping back and forth across my back. Hildegard was a bit drunk by this time, so she leaned forward and started rubbing her ass up and down, grinding her pussy against my cock, making it look exactly like I was fucking her. She even started making orgasmic sounds. And I realized that in all likelihood, my cock was actually rubbing against more than just her ass. In fact, it might be rubbing right against her tight little pussy! Shit, this was getting way out of hand! Then I noticed that the older sisters in her sorority were watching us with great amusement. Maybe this was part of their initiation ceremony. But I didn't care. If she wanted to dry hump me in a room full of people, more power to her. She even grabbed my wrists and pulled my hands up to her tits! Oh shit! They weren't all that big, but I could feel the hard lumps of her nipples bouncing under my fingers as I squeezed her little grapefruits.I began to feel the warning signs of an impending orgasm coming on strong. Oh my god, I was going to blow my load feeling the first tits of my life! But at just the last minute, the final girl in Helga's harem, Muschi von Kittenlicker, pushed Hildegard aside, but instead of grinding her ass against mine, she faced me and started gyrating against me in time with Helga behind me. Now two sexy women were rubbing her tits against me, and my cock got enough of a reprieve that my urge to cum faded mercifully away.Muschi's paper pale face was flush with devastating sexiness, but she wasn't looking at me. She was looking past me at Helga. And in spite of how much I was enjoying this once-in-a-lifetime experience, I think I detected pure infatuation in Muschi's expression. She didn't make eye contact with me even once, but she kept licking her lips as if she wanted to kiss someone. I bent toward her, suddenly excited about kissing another girl, but she just shifted to the other side, her eyes staring past me, and looking down at Helga's ample cleavage. Oh shit, she wants to kiss her friend! I turned to look at Helga's beautiful copper colored face in the flashing disco light, but she appeared to be totally unaware of Muschi's lustful looks.The song changed, and now all the Bavarian girls crowded around me and began to rub their bodies and asses, all over me. It was dark, and the lights were flashing, and I had no idea who was who, but my hand definitely squeezed another girl's breast for a few seconds, maybe Heidi Ho's and I also fondled a couple of their asses, running my fingers over their delightful ass-cracks. It was almost like I was in some kind of fully clothed orgy!But then, halfway through the song, a hand grasped mine, and pulled me off the dance floor. It was Helga Boobenschtein. She grinned back at me as she pulled me out the front door, leaving her friends behind, obviously sick of sharing me with them. She wanted me all to herself. That was just fine with me. It was getting pretty weird anyway. Helga and I ran hand in hand through the campus, laughing like lunatics. I suppose the beer had gone to our heads, because we were utterly silly with hilarity. I never was much of a drinker. When we'd run ourselves tired, we sat down on a bench, still holding hands.After she caught her breath, she said in her regular voice, “I lied to you earlier, my name's not really Helga Boobenschtein.”“Ach du lieber! I'm shocked! Is it Boobenschteen after all?”She laughed and said, “No. My real name is Annie Stoltz. And yes, that is a German name.”I dropped the accent and said, “You sure don't look German!”“No, my mother's Brazilian. I got my black hair and dark skin from her. But I learned to polka from my dad. He also gave me these eyes.” Indeed, her eyes were the most amazing baby-blue color I'd ever seen. They almost glowed against her copper colored face.“Well, I have a surprise for you too. I'm not really Helmutt von Wiener. My name is Hans Willis.”Annie laughed, “You have German name too? That's too perfect!”“My grandpa's from Austria, and my grandma from my mother's side is Bavarian.”“Oh my god. What are the odds that two half-Germans would meet at an Oktoberfest party in Illinois, dressed in matching costumes? It's a good thing I don't believe in fate, or I'd say it was fate.”I laughed, “I don't believe in fate, either, but show me the evidence, and I'll be happy to reconsider. But in any large sampling, like life, coincidences are bound to happen. And they have to happen to somebody. In this case, to us.”“Spoken like a true scientist, Hans.”I smiled. But for some reason, I wanted to avoid talking about science. That's what had derailed my date with Briona. So instead I said, “That party was off the hook!”She blushed. “I'm sorry about the girls. They're a bunch of sluts. Except for Muschi, her real name is Barbara. She's a lesbian.”“Yeah. I kinda noticed. And I think she has the hot for you, Annie.”Annie laughed, “I know. I know. I keep telling her I'm not into it, but she just won't give up. But I love her to death. And you enjoyed our little dance, didn't you?”I had no words for how much I'd enjoyed our dance. So I just blushed and smiled.She laughed and squeezed my hand, giving me a strange erotic thrill. Then she said, “I've seen you around the labs. What's your major?”“General science.”She grinned, “Yeah? I might do that too, but I'm just a freshman. I'm taking a bunch of different classes this year until I figure out what my passion is. But it's definitely in the sciences. I love science. I love science. I'm taking this biology class right now, and we're learning all about the…”As she bubbled with enthusiasm about biology, her face absolutely glowed, in spite of her dark skin. She just seemed to radiate a luminosity that filled my heart with a feeling so powerful that I was on the verge of laughter or tears. I had the overpowering urge to tell her how much I loved science too, but remembering how things went with Briona, I did something else instead.I kissed her.It was a sudden impulse, perhaps inspired by Grandpa's mischievous DNA, and I acted on it without getting hung up by my normal crippling uncertainty. I didn't even wait for her to finish her current sentence. I just leaned toward her and planted my lips on hers. She didn't push me away or slap my face. Instead, she threw her arms around me, pulled me closer on the bench, and kissed me back, deeply, passionately, lustfully as if she'd been waiting for this moment her entire life. Her mouth opened and our tongues began to polka. This sweet, funny, brainy girl was a seething well of passion under that fun-loving surface. She was moaning into my mouth in no time at all, clearly enjoying this amazing kiss every bit as much as me.We must have made quite a tableau in our costumes, making out like crazy on a bench in the center of the quad, illuminated by a nearby streetlight. I could hear people walking by, occasionally snickering or making crude comments. But I didn't care. This was my first French kiss, and I had no intention of letting embarrassment cut it short. And the longer we kissed, the more I dialed out the rest of the world, until there was only the two of us, and our tongues, and our lips, and our hearts.Suddenly she turned and straddled me, and I enjoyed the feel of her breasts heaving against my chest. By this time I had a massive erection, so I held her back a bit, to prevent her from feeling it.She started shivering, and said, “My legs are freezing”. I took that as an invitation to help warm them up, so I put my hands on her calves, which were splayed out on the bench on my left and right. Some girls, like Muschi, have baby-soft skin, but not Annie. Her skin felt thick and smooth and was covered with a soft, almost invisible peach fuzz. The feel of her flesh made my cock throb with desire. I'd never felt anything so amazing in my life. It felt like suede leather, only softer and suppler.She began humming happily in my mouth as I rubbed her calves. I moved my hands up higher, my fingers slipping under the edge of her skirt to rub her soft thighs. Then with each stroke of my hands, I went a little higher under her skirt. I expected her to tell me to stop at any moment, but she didn't. Finally my fingertips touched the edge of her panties, and a few strokes later my hands were all the way onto her ass, cheeks, squeezing them through the soft, stretchy cotton of her undies. She giggled, but she didn't make me stop. I loved the feel of her ass wiggling under my hands as she laughed.Then, unexpectedly, she slid forward on my lap, pressing her crotch against my hard on. She gave a lustful little gasp, as did I. I couldn't believe how well this was going! The only thing separating my cock from her pussy was a few thin layers of fabric. It was insanely erotic, and all the while we explored each other's mouths with our tongues, absolutely breathless with passion.We kissed and kissed and kissed in this position for the longest time. The campus clock struck 1, then 2. I couldn't believe we'd been at it for so long. But I knew it couldn't last forever. There were classes tomorrow and we were both dedicated students. So, reluctantly, we pulled back and just looked into each other's eyes for a while. I found that to be ten times more intimate than kissing. For the first time in my life, I could look into a woman's eyes without glancing away nervously after a few seconds. I could look into Annie's baby-blue eyes forever.Carnal Knowledge In the Woods.She said, “Would you care to escort me back to my dorm, liebchen?”“But of course, fraulein.” I was sad when she squirmed off my lap. I had the sinking feeling that this was a one shot deal. In the light of day she'd notice how crooked my teeth were. She'd notice my acne scars and wiry hair. But we walked, hand in hand, like boyfriend and girlfriend, and I started to think, maybe, just maybe, a second date?She led me on a roundabout route, rather than the direct way to her dorm. It took us into the dimly lit park next to Davenport ravine, which was totally deserted. We waded through drifts of fallen leaves. I put my arm around her waist and snuggled her close. My palm was tucked right under her right breast, which would occasionally bounce down against the top of my thumb, giving me an incredible thrill each and every time. I was trembling with lust. I wanted to move my hand higher, but I was afraid of overstepping. But then it occurred to me that Annie was my girl now. I don't know how I knew it, I just did. It gave me the confidence to cup her breast in my hand. She hummed and leaned her head against mine and squeezed my waist tighter. We walked that way for a while. I thrilled at the feel of her soft, squishy boob bouncing playfully in my fingers. I even felt her nipple getting harder against my palm. And the heft of her breast was amazing. The bulge in my lederhosen was pointing straight ahead.I could see the bright windows of her dorm getting closer over the treetops, and I knew this magical night would soon be over. This was a girl's only dorm. Boys weren't allowed in at any time. But she steered me off the path toward a huge thicket of bushes near the center of the park. Then she got down on her hands and knees and said, “Follow me, Hans.” She crawled into a dark opening in the branches, which I'd never noticed before. I followed. It was a dark and thorny little tunnel, but I could see her silhouette ahead of me, and I could hear the thorns scratching at the edges of her skirt. A chill of fear swept through me suddenly. Fear of the unknown, I guess. Fear of dark places.The thorny tunnel took a few twists and turns, but eventually I saw her crawling out into the moonlight ahead of me. She stood up and smiled at me as I climbed out of the tunnel into a small clearing in the center of the giant thicket. I wondered how many people knew about this secret place?We were totally alone. Moonlight twinkled in her eyes and we kissed again. She pulled me close, then pulled me over with her into a pile of leaves that had collected in the center of the clearing. We laughed. I kneeled over her, my legs straddling her thighs. I looked down, mystified by her beautiful moonlit face. She put her hands on her blouse and pulled the front of it down, all the while looking at me with an intensely trusting and intimate expression. She had a thin baby-blue bra under the blouse, through which I could see the dark circles of her areolas.She reached up and pulled my face down into her coppery cleavage, and I breathed in her powdery perfume and kissed her supple skin, in circling motions, hardly believing this was happening, until I was kissing her hard nipple through the thin fabric of her bra. She groaned in pleasure and suddenly pulled the front of her bra down, exposing her moonlit breasts to me. Her areolas were chocolate brown. I took one of her large nipples into my mouth and circled it with my tongue, and bit it lightly with my teeth, making her giggle. This was an absolute dream come true, but it was only getting better with each passing second.As I switched to kissing and licking her other breast, she opened her legs, and I shifted so I was kneeling between them. I lowered myself onto her, pressing my hard-on into her crotch, and began to grind myself against her, softly at first, but with growing urgency. She ran her fingers through my hair, then began to push my head downward. For a second I thought she wanted me to stop licking her boobs, but she kept pushing me down with one hand, while she pulled up her flouncy skirt with the other. Soon my face was inches away from her lacy blue panties. There was a large wet spot in the center of the blue lace. I saw it only for a second before she pulled my face down into her warm wet crotch. I was overwhelmed by the musky moistness of her. I'd caught a whiff of Briona the night she fucked Troy, but now that I was buried in an actual pussy, I took a deep breath of her animalistic aroma. Good grief, I loved it!I grabbed her suede-soft thighs with both hands and began kissing her pussy through the lacy fabric, licking the tender flesh of her labia on either side, which made her moan with delight. I worked my tongue around the edge of the panties, slowly pulling the edge of it inward, exposing more of her tender flesh. I felt her downy black pubic hairs tingling across my tongue. I pulled at them playfully with my lips. She laughed, then groaned. I teased her for a while, licking the left side, then the right, moving ever inward, but not all the way. She twisted about passionately trying to make me go further, but I playfully delayed, as much to entice her as to prolong the moment for me. This was, without doubt, the greatest night of my life, and I wanted it to go on forever. Finally she couldn't wait any longer, so she reached down and pulled her panties all the way open and pulled my face into her warm wet pussy. My nose buried itself in her downy bush, and my tongue slipped between her swollen lips. She tasted incredible.“Oh, liebchen…” she moaned, “that feels so good.”Although this was my first time, I'd listened to Briona's instructions as Troy ate her out, so I had a general idea of what to do. For the next half hour or more I ate Annie's sweet pussy with absolute abandon. I kissed and teased her, and tried to make her squirm and whimper with pleasure. I found I couldn't put my tongue very far into her vagina. There was a thin membrane just an inch inside her pussy lips. It took me a few seconds to realize what it was. Oh shit, that's her hymen! I recognized it from biology class. For some reason, because of her sexual confidence, I'd assumed Annie wasn't a virgin, exactly the opposite mistake I'd made from judging Briona. I chuckled, realizing that I was a terrible judge of things like that. But it didn't matter. I was touched that Annie trusted me to kiss her this way. I was careful not to lick her too vigorously. I knew from biology class that the hymen could be broken accidentally, and I certainly didn't want to be responsible for an unintentional defloration! So I concentrated most of my efforts on her tiny little clitoris. She loved it when I sucked it and swirled it with my tongue.After a while I discovered that her favorite thing was when I rubbed her pussy up and down with my entire face. I'd start with my nose buried between her quivering lips, then slide upward, so my nose and tongue went up her pussy until I could lift the little hood covering her clitoris with the tip of my tongue, and flick that sensitive little nub before making my way back down. I went up and down this way, again and again, starting slowly but building up speed. My face was slick with her copious juices, which thrilled me to no end. She whimpered and gasped and groaned, and started saying, “Oh, god. Oh god. Oh yes. Oh yes…” And then, quite suddenly, her entire body tensed up like crazy, and she closed both of her thighs around my head and held me in a vice grip while she bucked and arched and clenched, squealing with an incredibly powerful orgasm. A splash of warm juices surged out of her pussy onto my face, startling me, and delighting me at the same time.Then I began licking and sucking her dripping wet pussy with gusto, swallowing her juices, and slurping her delicious clit. But after a few seconds of this she started banging my forehead with her palm, apparently too overwhelmed to be able to communicate vocally. I took the hint and left her over-stimulated clit alone. Annie's body remained as stiff as a board, and a deep trembling rolled through her thighs for two solid minutes. Finally she relaxed, and her thighs opened, releasing my head from the vice grip. She just lay there for the longest time, panting hard as if she'd just jogged a mile. I took the opportunity to finally take a good long look at her beautiful pussy in the moonlight. Every woman in the world has one, but Annie's was the first I'd seen this closely. I'd seen Briona's but she was so hairy, I really hadn't been able to make out any details. But Annie's pussy only had a little oval tuft of silky black hair on top, and simple curving chocolate brown lips below, topped with a tiny little nub. I knew right then and there that for the rest of my life, Annie's vagina would be the one I'd judge all others by. It was simply too beautiful for words. An absolute work of art, just like every other square inch of her.I kissed her pussy lips gently this time, savoring the similarity of these lips to her other lips. After a while she tugged at my hair. So I crawled up and snuggled her in the leaves, my leg over her legs to keep them warm in the chilly October air. Slowly she came out of the post orgasmic state she'd been in for the last ten minutes. She looked at me with wide eyes and said, “Hans, I never did that before. That was an orgasm I guess. Wow.”“Yeah, wow!” I said, smiling. We kissed. She backed off and wrinkled her nose in distaste.“Is that what I taste like?”“Delicious.”“If you say so,” she said sardonically.“I do say so. Your pussy, my dear, is ze finest pussy in all ze fatherland. Yah, sweet nectar from Odin…”She kissed me to shut me up. We hugged and kissed sweetly for a long time, shivering against each other, neither of us wanting the night to end.There was a rustling in the bushes. We both tensed and listened intently for more. Was someone else crawling up the tunnel? Fear gripped us, but after a few minutes of deadly silence, I said, “Must have been a branch falling.”“Sorry,” she said, “I get easily spooked.”“I saw a ghost once.” She let this random bit of information sit there in the darkness. A cloud moved over the moon and suddenly we were plunged into pitch darkness. I could only, just barely, make out her sky blue eyes in the inky blackness.“A ghost?”“Yeah.”“There are no such things as ghosts.”She sighed, “Yeah, I know, but I saw one, so, I guess that's stupid, right?”My science brain now switched on, instinctively. “You know, I used to love ghost stories and paranormal stuff. But nobody has ever found scientific evidence that any of that stuff exists, in spite of millions of dollars spent on research, hundreds of independent studies, probably more. In the whole of human history, there's still no conclusive evidence that human consciousness survives death.”“I know. But it hasn't been disproved either.”“You can't prove a negative.”She laughed. “I know, Hans, I know. I told you it's stupid.”“So what's this ghost you saw? Could have been a dream, or a hallucination. They're more common than people think.”“Maybe.” She said. The cloud moved off the moon, and once again I could see her lovely bronze face. I could tell from her expression that she didn't want to tell me more. She'd given me a glimpse of her dark secret, but that was all I was going to get. She could let me lick her pussy, but the ghost story thing was a little too personal. Go figure.Perhaps as a way to change the topic, she rolled over to straddle me. In response my softened cock began to grow again. She looked down at me in the moonlight and said, “You know, Hans, you're quite lovely.”“Handsome, you mean”“Lovely. Handsome men don't wear lederhosen.”I was about to say something funny, but she began to grind herself on my hardening erection. A beautiful, lustful expression came over her sweet face. She inched herself slowly down my body, and I watched her as she unbuttoned the buttons on the front of my lederhosen. There were a lot of them, and it would have been amusing except I was suddenly aware that she intended to touch my cock. I got lightheaded with amazement and lust. One of the great dreams of my life was about to come true, and I tried to commit the sight of Annie unbuttoning me to memory. My underwear-clad cock began to emerge more and more with each button, rising up to her grinning face, eager to meet her, to shake hands, to say hello. She tickled the tip of it playfully, amused at the way it jumped with each touch.“Little Hans wants out. Should I let him?”“Yes Fraulein. Zat would be lovely.” I tried to be funny and cool, but my voice cracked with tension.She pulled the band of my underwear down, and my cock sprang up in front of her face, looking quite impressive in the moonlight, if I may say so myself. Her eyes twinkled at the sight of it. “I stand corrected. Not little Hans. BIG Hans!” I'm glad she'd never seen Troy's cock! Then she touched my cock with her fingers, sending shivers up and down my spine. She began to bat it with her fist, making it bob about playfully. She'd obviously never seen a penis before, because she was utterly fascinated. She stroked it gently, and rolled my furry balls in her fingertips, giggling at the strange feel of me. I was in absolute heaven by this point. And when she leaned down and kissed the underside of my cock with her beautiful lips, my heart skipped a beat. She kissed it again and again, and the more she kissed it, the harder it got, which I didn't even think was possible. Finally she opened her mouth and the tip slipped between her warm, wet lips. I felt her teeth, her lips, her tongue, but mostly I saw. Really, it was the sight of her mouth, her beautiful, rosy mouth, wrapped around this most intimate part of me, which made my heart do loop-de-loops.She tongued me and kissed me and sucked me in a variety of ways. It was her turn now to experiment, and I loved every minute of it. After a while she unbuttoned my suspenders and pulled the shorts down, without bothering to take my boots off. She spread my thighs open and licked my furry balls, taking them into her mouth, while stroking my turgid shaft with her soft fingers. She was clumsy and inexperienced, but I didn't know better. It was perfect as far as I was concerned. I just laid back and let her service me, amazed at how much she got into it. She kept looking up at me with her baby blue eyes as she slobbered all over my cock, which was truly mind-blowing. I'd daydreamed about blowjobs for years, but the reality was so much better. I mean, this was literally one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen in my life, and she was sucking my cock. It was beyond wonderful. It was life altering.After only a few minutes of her wonderful mouth bobbing up and down on my cock, I began to feel the telltale signs of impending orgasm. “Oh shit, Annie, I'm gonna cum if you keep that up.”She looked up at me and said, “I want to feel you cum in my mouth, Hans. Is that okay?”I nodded, dazed with excitement. Then she sucked and slurped, putting her limber neck into it, and rolling my balls with her fingertips. The underside of my cock became so sensitive that I could feel every taste bud on her magical tongue. Then I felt a hot burst in my nuts, and I began to buck and writhe with the most incredible orgasm I'd ever felt. She kept sucking and jerking as I shot my seed into her mouth. Her cheeks quickly became distended, and cum began to ooze past her lips down my cock. Then I saw her gulping, and I realized she was actually swallowing my cum.I didn't get soft for a second, so she just swallowed and kept on sucking. Sure, my cock was so sensitive by this time that it almost felt painful being in her mouth, but I put up with the pain because I didn't want it to end. I had no idea when or if I'd ever get another blowjob. Happily I got over the hypersensitivity after a few minutes, and she continued to suck and slurp for another ten or fifteen minutes until I thought I was probably on the verge of cumming again.But then Annie suddenly sat up and grabbed her purse. My heart sank. I was certain she was going to check her watch and say it was time to go home. But instead she pulled out a little wrapper and clumsily tore it open. My head nearly exploded when I realized what she was doing. I'd totally forgotten to bring my condom with me. Thank God Annie was more organized than me. She tried to put it on my cock, but it was too dark to see that she was putting it on inside out. We both laughed as she yanked the stretchy rubber on my throbbing shaft. It was so hilarious that it almost took my mind off what was about to happen.Eventually she got the condom over about half my phallus, and said, “Well, that's as good as it gets, I guess!” Then she stepped out of her panties and squatted over me. I reached up and our fingers interlocked. I was filled with the most amazing love for Annie as she lowered her muff onto my pole. Then before I knew it, I felt the head of my scepter pushing against the tender flesh of her hymen. She paused, our eyes locked on each other. We both knew this was an important moment and should be savored. Then she lowered herself, with a deep groan, and popped her cherry on me. She slid all the way down with a throaty gasp, until I was totally immersed in her tight pussy. She sat there for a minute or two, and we looked at each other smiling. It was over. We were no longer virgins.“High five.” I said.We high-fived each other, smiling like crazy.I was thrilled with the thought that half of my cock, the part uncovered by the condom, was touching the inside of her sweet tunnel. She slowly lifted herself, then lowered herself. She was so tight around me, I might as well not have been wearing a condom. It was incredible.She moaned, “Oh fuck, Hans. You feel so big. Oh god. Oh god. What a great cock. Thank you. Thank you for this, Hans.”I was actually fucking a gorgeous half-Brazilian hottie in a pile of leaves, and she was actually thanking me. I looked up at her in wonder. The moonlight was glinting on her dark, shiny braids. As she slowly lifted herself up again her gorgeous lips opened to emit a moan of transcendent pleasure. I was moved more than words can convey.I blurted, “I love you.” Her blue eyes opened wide, and for a moment I was worried that I'd made a mistake. But then she began to pump her body up and down on me with crazy abandon, her eyes locked to mine, as she gave off beautiful, throaty moans.“Oh, oh, oh. You feel so good inside me. Oh yeah. So good. Goddamned fucking fantastic! Oh Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” Soon she was pounding herself on me faster, making the leaves rustle and bounce into the air. I reached up and yanked the front of her bra down, releasing her large brown breasts again. They looked amazing, bobbing and bouncing in the moonlight with those dark brown areolas flying up and down in a blur. Then I began to arch my pelvis in rhythm with her movements, rising up to meet her with each downstroke. The bare skin of our pelvises began slapping wetly together again and again. She was so wet, I could feel her juices dripping down my balls.Suddenly, a sharp, spine-tingling, high-pitched groan came from the bushes to our left. We froze in primal fear. I felt every hair on my headstand erect, and Annie's pussy tightened like a clamp around my shaft. After a few moments of silence, the bushes rustled, as if something was moving slowly around the edge of the clearing. It groaned again, weirder this time, sounding almost human, but I was certain it had to be an animal. Annie's face was contorted in terror. She pulled off me, and plopped to her hands and knees.She whispered desperately, “Come on. Fuck me Hans. Hurry up.”I couldn't believe she wanted to keep going. I wanted to run. As a matter of fact, I was scared shitless. But there she was, kneeling with her skirt bundled up, exposing her beautiful brown ass to the moonlight. I kneeled behind her and slowly slid my cock into her tight, trembling canal, while she looked at the bushes, following the eerie rustling sounds with her head. Man, oh, man, her hips felt good in my hands, and her pussy felt incredible around my cock. I began to pound her hard and fast, trying to work her up to another quivering orgasm. I felt myself building up to one too, but I was able to put it off longer than I normally could have, because my abdomen was clenched into a tight little fist of fear. But after thirty, forty, fifty strokes, she let out a little choking gasp, and warm juices surged out of her all around my shaft, splashing loudly into the leaves between her knees.At the moment of her climax a huge black flying thing burst out of the edge of the clearing and flew right at us then up out of sight making us both Scream! Right then I began to ejaculate, spurred on by fear and the shivering, quivering spasms that were rolling through her pussy and thighs. My orgasm seemed to go on and on for minutes, as I continued thrusting and squirting shot after shot into that wonderful girl. Or, into the condom, I should say.When my spasms finally ended, I pulled out of her and plopped into the leaves next to her. She crawled on top of me and whispered into my ear, “I love you too. Now let's get the hell out of here.”I yanked the fully loaded condom from my penis, and tossed it into the leaves, then we dressed hastily, laughing like idiots, and crawled in terror through the tunnel. Then we sprinted breathlessly, hand in hand through the park to her dorm. We didn't look back until we got through the doors in the foyer. I swear, it felt as something was chasing us the whole way, but when we turned to look out the glass doors, nothing was there but the cold October dawn. The sky was glowing with the first rays of morning light. We laughed and breathlessly talked about what an amazing night we'd had! But what the hell was that thing? We agreed it must have been a bird. What else could it have been?Only then did we realize that she'd bled a bit from her broken hymen. The brown crotch of my lederhosen had splashes of dark crimson, and her flowery skirt and white stockings were spattered too. But we both laughed, happy that the lobby was deserted at this hour. We held onto each other in the foyer until the morning sun broke over the treetops, casting October orange light on her bronze face, and filling her blue eyes with wonder. She was even more stunning than ever. We stood up and I kissed her goodnight, or good morning I guess. But before she went inside, I haltingly said, “Uh, do you think, that you'd like to, uh, go out with me again?”She smiled as if I'd just asked her the dumbest question in the world. “I'm your girlfriend, stupid.”My heart soared. I have a girlfriend!by CBSummers, for Literotica 

Power of Dirndls and Lederhosen: Part 2Hans finds his confidence and the fraulein, too.Based on the post by cb summers, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Connected.PART TWO – October 6, 1992Normally I found it impossible to be spontaneous around hot chicks like this, but something about being in that costume, thinking about my grandfather's irrepressible charm brought out a boldness in me which I didn't normally possess. I put my arm around this hot, blue-eyed fraulein and said, in my worst German accent, “Yah, and dis here is mein liebchen, Helga Boob en schteen.”She corrected me comically, “Not Boob en schteen, Boob en schtein!” Everyone in the entire room laughed themselves silly. Then Helga loudly introduced the girls. “May I introducen mein fellow pledges from ze Tau Nu Upsilon Sorority? Ya, dis here is Gertruda Cock en suck en.”Everyone laughed at her crude pun, but I clicked my heels together very seriously, like a proper Austrian man, and said “Guten abend, Gertruda,” then I bowed and kissed the back of the adorable redhead's soft little hand.Helga went on, pointing to a busty little African American girl, who looked quite stunning in her bright orange dirndl. “And zis here is little Heidi Ho. Yah, she's an actual ho!” I clicked my heels together, and kissed Heidi's hand. “And dis vun here ist Muschi von Kitten licker.” Muschi, who had short black hair and snow-white skin, leaned forward and presented her cheek to me, so I kissed it, laying my lips on the second female of my life. Her skin was as soft as silk.Helga gestured toward a cute blonde with bright pink circles painted on her cheeks, saying, “And, finally, mein beste freunden, Hildegard Fuck me up the ass en stein, the third.” Hildegard laughed, then turned and wiggled her ass at me. I bowed deeply and said, “Very nice to meet you, Herr Fuck me up the ass en stein.” She wiggled her ass again, right in my face, so I leaned down a little farther and kissed her right on her behind, and the crowd went wild. I was surprising the shit out of myself. My grandfather's DNA was having a field day with my confidence. I raised my oversized prop stein, and shouted, “Beer! Ve must haff beer!”Helga had an identical stein, and so we filled them together from the keg and chugged them while everyone clapped, until they were empty. I saw that beer was leaking out of her defective stein and dripping all over her glorious, copper colored cleavage, making her white top wet enough for me to see the lacy blue bra she was wearing under it. Oh shit. I couldn't take my eyes off her tits. She caught me looking, but instead of getting mad, she just looked down at her breasts and said, “Oops. I can be zo clumzy zometimes, liebchen! You know how I am!” She ran her fingers over her soaked cleavage.I don't know what came over me, but I took her wrist in my hand and said, clicking my heels together, “Allow me, fraulein Boob en schtein.” And I wrapped my lips around her fingertips and licked them dry of beer. She just stared at me with the biggest smile on her face, and her eyes twinkling. My god! Who was I?I had no idea what to do next, but some joker saved me by playing a polka on the stereo. Without missing a beat, Helga shouted, “Shall ve dance, mein liebchen?” She didn't even wait for me to answer. She just grabbed my hand and dragged me to the middle of the floor and we started to polka.I'd been to a few polkas when I was a kid, so I knew the basic moves, and a few of the special ones, and I guess Helga had been to a few polkas too, because she kept right up with me. Soon, everyone was clapping and cheering and snapping photographs, and at least ten others, who knew how to polka, joined in, including Heidi Ho! Where a black girl learned to polka is anybody's guess. When the song finally ended, I lifted my stein and shouted the traditional Oktoberfest starting cheer, which for some reason popped to mind even though I thought I'd forgotten it years ago “O' zapft is! The Keg Is Tapped! Let Oktoberfest Begin!”After the ear-splitting cheer, the music switched back to hip hop, and the lights dimmed, and the disco lights began to flash, and soon Helga and I were dancing in the center of a crowd, this time gyrating like fools, just like everyone else on the dance floor. By the third song, I was utterly smitten with her. She had such a bold, fearless spirit, that I just let all of my nerdy inhibitions go, and danced, not caring how stupid I looked, because my eyes were glued to her. Her breasts. Her coppery face. Her stunning, sky-blue eyes. And she was looking right back at me, sometimes smiling, but sometimes with an expression on her face that reminded me of the expression I'd seen on Briona's face while Troy was fucking her. Damn. Helga was giving me sex face! It was unbelievably cool!The third song was a raunchy rap song that was bit that year, Baby Got Back, and suddenly Heidi Ho, Helga's black friend, appeared in front of me and started grinding her ass against my crotch. I'd never danced like this before, but there were other couples doing it, so I put my hands on her hips and grinded away. I started to get a boner, so I turned around, afraid she might feel it. But then Gertruda Cocken sucken, an adorable freckle-faced girl, with vivid red hair, started grinding her ass into my crotch instead, apparently unconcerned about the fact that I was rubbing my erection against her. Or maybe even enjoying it! It was an incredible feeling. Then Heidi put her arms around me from behind, and started grinding her crotch against my ass, and now I was sandwiched between two Bavarian hotties, feeling Heidi's firm tits rubbing all over my back. My mind was now officially blown. But I rolled with it. Why the fuck not? It was Oktoberfest!Midnight in the campus park.Then when that song ended, Hildegard Fuck me up the ass en stein switched with Heidi, and Helga von Boob en schtein switched with Gertruda, and now I was feeling Helga's large, coppery tits flopping back and forth across my back. Hildegard was a bit drunk by this time, so she leaned forward and started rubbing her ass up and down, grinding her pussy against my cock, making it look exactly like I was fucking her. She even started making orgasmic sounds. And I realized that in all likelihood, my cock was actually rubbing against more than just her ass. In fact, it might be rubbing right against her tight little pussy! Shit, this was getting way out of hand! Then I noticed that the older sisters in her sorority were watching us with great amusement. Maybe this was part of their initiation ceremony. But I didn't care. If she wanted to dry hump me in a room full of people, more power to her. She even grabbed my wrists and pulled my hands up to her tits! Oh shit! They weren't all that big, but I could feel the hard lumps of her nipples bouncing under my fingers as I squeezed her little grapefruits.I began to feel the warning signs of an impending orgasm coming on strong. Oh my god, I was going to blow my load feeling the first tits of my life! But at just the last minute, the final girl in Helga's harem, Muschi von Kittenlicker, pushed Hildegard aside, but instead of grinding her ass against mine, she faced me and started gyrating against me in time with Helga behind me. Now two sexy women were rubbing her tits against me, and my cock got enough of a reprieve that my urge to cum faded mercifully away.Muschi's paper pale face was flush with devastating sexiness, but she wasn't looking at me. She was looking past me at Helga. And in spite of how much I was enjoying this once-in-a-lifetime experience, I think I detected pure infatuation in Muschi's expression. She didn't make eye contact with me even once, but she kept licking her lips as if she wanted to kiss someone. I bent toward her, suddenly excited about kissing another girl, but she just shifted to the other side, her eyes staring past me, and looking down at Helga's ample cleavage. Oh shit, she wants to kiss her friend! I turned to look at Helga's beautiful copper colored face in the flashing disco light, but she appeared to be totally unaware of Muschi's lustful looks.The song changed, and now all the Bavarian girls crowded around me and began to rub their bodies and asses, all over me. It was dark, and the lights were flashing, and I had no idea who was who, but my hand definitely squeezed another girl's breast for a few seconds, maybe Heidi Ho's and I also fondled a couple of their asses, running my fingers over their delightful ass-cracks. It was almost like I was in some kind of fully clothed orgy!But then, halfway through the song, a hand grasped mine, and pulled me off the dance floor. It was Helga Boobenschtein. She grinned back at me as she pulled me out the front door, leaving her friends behind, obviously sick of sharing me with them. She wanted me all to herself. That was just fine with me. It was getting pretty weird anyway. Helga and I ran hand in hand through the campus, laughing like lunatics. I suppose the beer had gone to our heads, because we were utterly silly with hilarity. I never was much of a drinker. When we'd run ourselves tired, we sat down on a bench, still holding hands.After she caught her breath, she said in her regular voice, “I lied to you earlier, my name's not really Helga Boobenschtein.”“Ach du lieber! I'm shocked! Is it Boobenschteen after all?”She laughed and said, “No. My real name is Annie Stoltz. And yes, that is a German name.”I dropped the accent and said, “You sure don't look German!”“No, my mother's Brazilian. I got my black hair and dark skin from her. But I learned to polka from my dad. He also gave me these eyes.” Indeed, her eyes were the most amazing baby-blue color I'd ever seen. They almost glowed against her copper colored face.“Well, I have a surprise for you too. I'm not really Helmutt von Wiener. My name is Hans Willis.”Annie laughed, “You have German name too? That's too perfect!”“My grandpa's from Austria, and my grandma from my mother's side is Bavarian.”“Oh my god. What are the odds that two half-Germans would meet at an Oktoberfest party in Illinois, dressed in matching costumes? It's a good thing I don't believe in fate, or I'd say it was fate.”I laughed, “I don't believe in fate, either, but show me the evidence, and I'll be happy to reconsider. But in any large sampling, like life, coincidences are bound to happen. And they have to happen to somebody. In this case, to us.”“Spoken like a true scientist, Hans.”I smiled. But for some reason, I wanted to avoid talking about science. That's what had derailed my date with Briona. So instead I said, “That party was off the hook!”She blushed. “I'm sorry about the girls. They're a bunch of sluts. Except for Muschi, her real name is Barbara. She's a lesbian.”“Yeah. I kinda noticed. And I think she has the hot for you, Annie.”Annie laughed, “I know. I know. I keep telling her I'm not into it, but she just won't give up. But I love her to death. And you enjoyed our little dance, didn't you?”I had no words for how much I'd enjoyed our dance. So I just blushed and smiled.She laughed and squeezed my hand, giving me a strange erotic thrill. Then she said, “I've seen you around the labs. What's your major?”“General science.”She grinned, “Yeah? I might do that too, but I'm just a freshman. I'm taking a bunch of different classes this year until I figure out what my passion is. But it's definitely in the sciences. I love science. I love science. I'm taking this biology class right now, and we're learning all about the…”As she bubbled with enthusiasm about biology, her face absolutely glowed, in spite of her dark skin. She just seemed to radiate a luminosity that filled my heart with a feeling so powerful that I was on the verge of laughter or tears. I had the overpowering urge to tell her how much I loved science too, but remembering how things went with Briona, I did something else instead.I kissed her.It was a sudden impulse, perhaps inspired by Grandpa's mischievous DNA, and I acted on it without getting hung up by my normal crippling uncertainty. I didn't even wait for her to finish her current sentence. I just leaned toward her and planted my lips on hers. She didn't push me away or slap my face. Instead, she threw her arms around me, pulled me closer on the bench, and kissed me back, deeply, passionately, lustfully as if she'd been waiting for this moment her entire life. Her mouth opened and our tongues began to polka. This sweet, funny, brainy girl was a seething well of passion under that fun-loving surface. She was moaning into my mouth in no time at all, clearly enjoying this amazing kiss every bit as much as me.We must have made quite a tableau in our costumes, making out like crazy on a bench in the center of the quad, illuminated by a nearby streetlight. I could hear people walking by, occasionally snickering or making crude comments. But I didn't care. This was my first French kiss, and I had no intention of letting embarrassment cut it short. And the longer we kissed, the more I dialed out the rest of the world, until there was only the two of us, and our tongues, and our lips, and our hearts.Suddenly she turned and straddled me, and I enjoyed the feel of her breasts heaving against my chest. By this time I had a massive erection, so I held her back a bit, to prevent her from feeling it.She started shivering, and said, “My legs are freezing”. I took that as an invitation to help warm them up, so I put my hands on her calves, which were splayed out on the bench on my left and right. Some girls, like Muschi, have baby-soft skin, but not Annie. Her skin felt thick and smooth and was covered with a soft, almost invisible peach fuzz. The feel of her flesh made my cock throb with desire. I'd never felt anything so amazing in my life. It felt like suede leather, only softer and suppler.She began humming happily in my mouth as I rubbed her calves. I moved my hands up higher, my fingers slipping under the edge of her skirt to rub her soft thighs. Then with each stroke of my hands, I went a little higher under her skirt. I expected her to tell me to stop at any moment, but she didn't. Finally my fingertips touched the edge of her panties, and a few strokes later my hands were all the way onto her ass, cheeks, squeezing them through the soft, stretchy cotton of her undies. She giggled, but she didn't make me stop. I loved the feel of her ass wiggling under my hands as she laughed.Then, unexpectedly, she slid forward on my lap, pressing her crotch against my hard on. She gave a lustful little gasp, as did I. I couldn't believe how well this was going! The only thing separating my cock from her pussy was a few thin layers of fabric. It was insanely erotic, and all the while we explored each other's mouths with our tongues, absolutely breathless with passion.We kissed and kissed and kissed in this position for the longest time. The campus clock struck 1, then 2. I couldn't believe we'd been at it for so long. But I knew it couldn't last forever. There were classes tomorrow and we were both dedicated students. So, reluctantly, we pulled back and just looked into each other's eyes for a while. I found that to be ten times more intimate than kissing. For the first time in my life, I could look into a woman's eyes without glancing away nervously after a few seconds. I could look into Annie's baby-blue eyes forever.Carnal Knowledge In the Woods.She said, “Would you care to escort me back to my dorm, liebchen?”“But of course, fraulein.” I was sad when she squirmed off my lap. I had the sinking feeling that this was a one shot deal. In the light of day she'd notice how crooked my teeth were. She'd notice my acne scars and wiry hair. But we walked, hand in hand, like boyfriend and girlfriend, and I started to think, maybe, just maybe, a second date?She led me on a roundabout route, rather than the direct way to her dorm. It took us into the dimly lit park next to Davenport ravine, which was totally deserted. We waded through drifts of fallen leaves. I put my arm around her waist and snuggled her close. My palm was tucked right under her right breast, which would occasionally bounce down against the top of my thumb, giving me an incredible thrill each and every time. I was trembling with lust. I wanted to move my hand higher, but I was afraid of overstepping. But then it occurred to me that Annie was my girl now. I don't know how I knew it, I just did. It gave me the confidence to cup her breast in my hand. She hummed and leaned her head against mine and squeezed my waist tighter. We walked that way for a while. I thrilled at the feel of her soft, squishy boob bouncing playfully in my fingers. I even felt her nipple getting harder against my palm. And the heft of her breast was amazing. The bulge in my lederhosen was pointing straight ahead.I could see the bright windows of her dorm getting closer over the treetops, and I knew this magical night would soon be over. This was a girl's only dorm. Boys weren't allowed in at any time. But she steered me off the path toward a huge thicket of bushes near the center of the park. Then she got down on her hands and knees and said, “Follow me, Hans.” She crawled into a dark opening in the branches, which I'd never noticed before. I followed. It was a dark and thorny little tunnel, but I could see her silhouette ahead of me, and I could hear the thorns scratching at the edges of her skirt. A chill of fear swept through me suddenly. Fear of the unknown, I guess. Fear of dark places.The thorny tunnel took a few twists and turns, but eventually I saw her crawling out into the moonlight ahead of me. She stood up and smiled at me as I climbed out of the tunnel into a small clearing in the center of the giant thicket. I wondered how many people knew about this secret place?We were totally alone. Moonlight twinkled in her eyes and we kissed again. She pulled me close, then pulled me over with her into a pile of leaves that had collected in the center of the clearing. We laughed. I kneeled over her, my legs straddling her thighs. I looked down, mystified by her beautiful moonlit face. She put her hands on her blouse and pulled the front of it down, all the while looking at me with an intensely trusting and intimate expression. She had a thin baby-blue bra under the blouse, through which I could see the dark circles of her areolas.She reached up and pulled my face down into her coppery cleavage, and I breathed in her powdery perfume and kissed her supple skin, in circling motions, hardly believing this was happening, until I was kissing her hard nipple through the thin fabric of her bra. She groaned in pleasure and suddenly pulled the front of her bra down, exposing her moonlit breasts to me. Her areolas were chocolate brown. I took one of her large nipples into my mouth and circled it with my tongue, and bit it lightly with my teeth, making her giggle. This was an absolute dream come true, but it was only getting better with each passing second.As I switched to kissing and licking her other breast, she opened her legs, and I shifted so I was kneeling between them. I lowered myself onto her, pressing my hard-on into her crotch, and began to grind myself against her, softly at first, but with growing urgency. She ran her fingers through my hair, then began to push my head downward. For a second I thought she wanted me to stop licking her boobs, but she kept pushing me down with one hand, while she pulled up her flouncy skirt with the other. Soon my face was inches away from her lacy blue panties. There was a large wet spot in the center of the blue lace. I saw it only for a second before she pulled my face down into her warm wet crotch. I was overwhelmed by the musky moistness of her. I'd caught a whiff of Briona the night she fucked Troy, but now that I was buried in an actual pussy, I took a deep breath of her animalistic aroma. Good grief, I loved it!I grabbed her suede-soft thighs with both hands and began kissing her pussy through the lacy fabric, licking the tender flesh of her labia on either side, which made her moan with delight. I worked my tongue around the edge of the panties, slowly pulling the edge of it inward, exposing more of her tender flesh. I felt her downy black pubic hairs tingling across my tongue. I pulled at them playfully with my lips. She laughed, then groaned. I teased her for a while, licking the left side, then the right, moving ever inward, but not all the way. She twisted about passionately trying to make me go further, but I playfully delayed, as much to entice her as to prolong the moment for me. This was, without doubt, the greatest night of my life, and I wanted it to go on forever. Finally she couldn't wait any longer, so she reached down and pulled her panties all the way open and pulled my face into her warm wet pussy. My nose buried itself in her downy bush, and my tongue slipped between her swollen lips. She tasted incredible.“Oh, liebchen…” she moaned, “that feels so good.”Although this was my first time, I'd listened to Briona's instructions as Troy ate her out, so I had a general idea of what to do. For the next half hour or more I ate Annie's sweet pussy with absolute abandon. I kissed and teased her, and tried to make her squirm and whimper with pleasure. I found I couldn't put my tongue very far into her vagina. There was a thin membrane just an inch inside her pussy lips. It took me a few seconds to realize what it was. Oh shit, that's her hymen! I recognized it from biology class. For some reason, because of her sexual confidence, I'd assumed Annie wasn't a virgin, exactly the opposite mistake I'd made from judging Briona. I chuckled, realizing that I was a terrible judge of things like that. But it didn't matter. I was touched that Annie trusted me to kiss her this way. I was careful not to lick her too vigorously. I knew from biology class that the hymen could be broken accidentally, and I certainly didn't want to be responsible for an unintentional defloration! So I concentrated most of my efforts on her tiny little clitoris. She loved it when I sucked it and swirled it with my tongue.After a while I discovered that her favorite thing was when I rubbed her pussy up and down with my entire face. I'd start with my nose buried between her quivering lips, then slide upward, so my nose and tongue went up her pussy until I could lift the little hood covering her clitoris with the tip of my tongue, and flick that sensitive little nub before making my way back down. I went up and down this way, again and again, starting slowly but building up speed. My face was slick with her copious juices, which thrilled me to no end. She whimpered and gasped and groaned, and started saying, “Oh, god. Oh god. Oh yes. Oh yes…” And then, quite suddenly, her entire body tensed up like crazy, and she closed both of her thighs around my head and held me in a vice grip while she bucked and arched and clenched, squealing with an incredibly powerful orgasm. A splash of warm juices surged out of her pussy onto my face, startling me, and delighting me at the same time.Then I began licking and sucking her dripping wet pussy with gusto, swallowing her juices, and slurping her delicious clit. But after a few seconds of this she started banging my forehead with her palm, apparently too overwhelmed to be able to communicate vocally. I took the hint and left her over-stimulated clit alone. Annie's body remained as stiff as a board, and a deep trembling rolled through her thighs for two solid minutes. Finally she relaxed, and her thighs opened, releasing my head from the vice grip. She just lay there for the longest time, panting hard as if she'd just jogged a mile. I took the opportunity to finally take a good long look at her beautiful pussy in the moonlight. Every woman in the world has one, but Annie's was the first I'd seen this closely. I'd seen Briona's but she was so hairy, I really hadn't been able to make out any details. But Annie's pussy only had a little oval tuft of silky black hair on top, and simple curving chocolate brown lips below, topped with a tiny little nub. I knew right then and there that for the rest of my life, Annie's vagina would be the one I'd judge all others by. It was simply too beautiful for words. An absolute work of art, just like every other square inch of her.I kissed her pussy lips gently this time, savoring the similarity of these lips to her other lips. After a while she tugged at my hair. So I crawled up and snuggled her in the leaves, my leg over her legs to keep them warm in the chilly October air. Slowly she came out of the post orgasmic state she'd been in for the last ten minutes. She looked at me with wide eyes and said, “Hans, I never did that before. That was an orgasm I guess. Wow.”“Yeah, wow!” I said, smiling. We kissed. She backed off and wrinkled her nose in distaste.“Is that what I taste like?”“Delicious.”“If you say so,” she said sardonically.“I do say so. Your pussy, my dear, is ze finest pussy in all ze fatherland. Yah, sweet nectar from Odin…”She kissed me to shut me up. We hugged and kissed sweetly for a long time, shivering against each other, neither of us wanting the night to end.There was a rustling in the bushes. We both tensed and listened intently for more. Was someone else crawling up the tunnel? Fear gripped us, but after a few minutes of deadly silence, I said, “Must have been a branch falling.”“Sorry,” she said, “I get easily spooked.”“I saw a ghost once.” She let this random bit of information sit there in the darkness. A cloud moved over the moon and suddenly we were plunged into pitch darkness. I could only, just barely, make out her sky blue eyes in the inky blackness.“A ghost?”“Yeah.”“There are no such things as ghosts.”She sighed, “Yeah, I know, but I saw one, so, I guess that's stupid, right?”My science brain now switched on, instinctively. “You know, I used to love ghost stories and paranormal stuff. But nobody has ever found scientific evidence that any of that stuff exists, in spite of millions of dollars spent on research, hundreds of independent studies, probably more. In the whole of human history, there's still no conclusive evidence that human consciousness survives death.”“I know. But it hasn't been disproved either.”“You can't prove a negative.”She laughed. “I know, Hans, I know. I told you it's stupid.”“So what's this ghost you saw? Could have been a dream, or a hallucination. They're more common than people think.”“Maybe.” She said. The cloud moved off the moon, and once again I could see her lovely bronze face. I could tell from her expression that she didn't want to tell me more. She'd given me a glimpse of her dark secret, but that was all I was going to get. She could let me lick her pussy, but the ghost story thing was a little too personal. Go figure.Perhaps as a way to change the topic, she rolled over to straddle me. In response my softened cock began to grow again. She looked down at me in the moonlight and said, “You know, Hans, you're quite lovely.”“Handsome, you mean”“Lovely. Handsome men don't wear lederhosen.”I was about to say something funny, but she began to grind herself on my hardening erection. A beautiful, lustful expression came over her sweet face. She inched herself slowly down my body, and I watched her as she unbuttoned the buttons on the front of my lederhosen. There were a lot of them, and it would have been amusing except I was suddenly aware that she intended to touch my cock. I got lightheaded with amazement and lust. One of the great dreams of my life was about to come true, and I tried to commit the sight of Annie unbuttoning me to memory. My underwear-clad cock began to emerge more and more with each button, rising up to her grinning face, eager to meet her, to shake hands, to say hello. She tickled the tip of it playfully, amused at the way it jumped with each touch.“Little Hans wants out. Should I let him?”“Yes Fraulein. Zat would be lovely.” I tried to be funny and cool, but my voice cracked with tension.She pulled the band of my underwear down, and my cock sprang up in front of her face, looking quite impressive in the moonlight, if I may say so myself. Her eyes twinkled at the sight of it. “I stand corrected. Not little Hans. BIG Hans!” I'm glad she'd never seen Troy's cock! Then she touched my cock with her fingers, sending shivers up and down my spine. She began to bat it with her fist, making it bob about playfully. She'd obviously never seen a penis before, because she was utterly fascinated. She stroked it gently, and rolled my furry balls in her fingertips, giggling at the strange feel of me. I was in absolute heaven by this point. And when she leaned down and kissed the underside of my cock with her beautiful lips, my heart skipped a beat. She kissed it again and again, and the more she kissed it, the harder it got, which I didn't even think was possible. Finally she opened her mouth and the tip slipped between her warm, wet lips. I felt her teeth, her lips, her tongue, but mostly I saw. Really, it was the sight of her mouth, her beautiful, rosy mouth, wrapped around this most intimate part of me, which made my heart do loop-de-loops.She tongued me and kissed me and sucked me in a variety of ways. It was her turn now to experiment, and I loved every minute of it. After a while she unbuttoned my suspenders and pulled the shorts down, without bothering to take my boots off. She spread my thighs open and licked my furry balls, taking them into her mouth, while stroking my turgid shaft with her soft fingers. She was clumsy and inexperienced, but I didn't know better. It was perfect as far as I was concerned. I just laid back and let her service me, amazed at how much she got into it. She kept looking up at me with her baby blue eyes as she slobbered all over my cock, which was truly mind-blowing. I'd daydreamed about blowjobs for years, but the reality was so much better. I mean, this was literally one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen in my life, and she was sucking my cock. It was beyond wonderful. It was life altering.After only a few minutes of her wonderful mouth bobbing up and down on my cock, I began to feel the telltale signs of impending orgasm. “Oh shit, Annie, I'm gonna cum if you keep that up.”She looked up at me and said, “I want to feel you cum in my mouth, Hans. Is that okay?”I nodded, dazed with excitement. Then she sucked and slurped, putting her limber neck into it, and rolling my balls with her fingertips. The underside of my cock became so sensitive that I could feel every taste bud on her magical tongue. Then I felt a hot burst in my nuts, and I began to buck and writhe with the most incredible orgasm I'd ever felt. She kept sucking and jerking as I shot my seed into her mouth. Her cheeks quickly became distended, and cum began to ooze past her lips down my cock. Then I saw her gulping, and I realized she was actually swallowing my cum.I didn't get soft for a second, so she just swallowed and kept on sucking. Sure, my cock was so sensitive by this time that it almost felt painful being in her mouth, but I put up with the pain because I didn't want it to end. I had no idea when or if I'd ever get another blowjob. Happily I got over the hypersensitivity after a few minutes, and she continued to suck and slurp for another ten or fifteen minutes until I thought I was probably on the verge of cumming again.But then Annie suddenly sat up and grabbed her purse. My heart sank. I was certain she was going to check her watch and say it was time to go home. But instead she pulled out a little wrapper and clumsily tore it open. My head nearly exploded when I realized what she was doing. I'd totally forgotten to bring my condom with me. Thank God Annie was more organized than me. She tried to put it on my cock, but it was too dark to see that she was putting it on inside out. We both laughed as she yanked the stretchy rubber on my throbbing shaft. It was so hilarious that it almost took my mind off what was about to happen.Eventually she got the condom over about half my phallus, and said, “Well, that's as good as it gets, I guess!” Then she stepped out of her panties and squatted over me. I reached up and our fingers interlocked. I was filled with the most amazing love for Annie as she lowered her muff onto my pole. Then before I knew it, I felt the head of my scepter pushing against the tender flesh of her hymen. She paused, our eyes locked on each other. We both knew this was an important moment and should be savored. Then she lowered herself, with a deep groan, and popped her cherry on me. She slid all the way down with a throaty gasp, until I was totally immersed in her tight pussy. She sat there for a minute or two, and we looked at each other smiling. It was over. We were no longer virgins.“High five.” I said.We high-fived each other, smiling like crazy.I was thrilled with the thought that half of my cock, the part uncovered by the condom, was touching the inside of her sweet tunnel. She slowly lifted herself, then lowered herself. She was so tight around me, I might as well not have been wearing a condom. It was incredible.She moaned, “Oh fuck, Hans. You feel so big. Oh god. Oh god. What a great cock. Thank you. Thank you for this, Hans.”I was actually fucking a gorgeous half-Brazilian hottie in a pile of leaves, and she was actually thanking me. I looked up at her in wonder. The moonlight was glinting on her dark, shiny braids. As she slowly lifted herself up again her gorgeous lips opened to emit a moan of transcendent pleasure. I was moved more than words can convey.I blurted, “I love you.” Her blue eyes opened wide, and for a moment I was worried that I'd made a mistake. But then she began to pump her body up and down on me with crazy abandon, her eyes locked to mine, as she gave off beautiful, throaty moans.“Oh, oh, oh. You feel so good inside me. Oh yeah. So good. Goddamned fucking fantastic! Oh Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” Soon she was pounding herself on me faster, making the leaves rustle and bounce into the air. I reached up and yanked the front of her bra down, releasing her large brown breasts again. They looked amazing, bobbing and bouncing in the moonlight with those dark brown areolas flying up and down in a blur. Then I began to arch my pelvis in rhythm with her movements, rising up to meet her with each downstroke. The bare skin of our pelvises began slapping wetly together again and again. She was so wet, I could feel her juices dripping down my balls.Suddenly, a sharp, spine-tingling, high-pitched groan came from the bushes to our left. We froze in primal fear. I felt every hair on my headstand erect, and Annie's pussy tightened like a clamp around my shaft. After a few moments of silence, the bushes rustled, as if something was moving slowly around the edge of the clearing. It groaned again, weirder this time, sounding almost human, but I was certain it had to be an animal. Annie's face was contorted in terror. She pulled off me, and plopped to her hands and knees.She whispered desperately, “Come on. Fuck me Hans. Hurry up.”I couldn't believe she wanted to keep going. I wanted to run. As a matter of fact, I was scared shitless. But there she was, kneeling with her skirt bundled up, exposing her beautiful brown ass to the moonlight. I kneeled behind her and slowly slid my cock into her tight, trembling canal, while she looked at the bushes, following the eerie rustling sounds with her head. Man, oh, man, her hips felt good in my hands, and her pussy felt incredible around my cock. I began to pound her hard and fast, trying to work her up to another quivering orgasm. I felt myself building up to one too, but I was able to put it off longer than I normally could have, because my abdomen was clenched into a tight little fist of fear. But after thirty, forty, fifty strokes, she let out a little choking gasp, and warm juices surged out of her all around my shaft, splashing loudly into the leaves between her knees.At the moment of her climax a huge black flying thing burst out of the edge of the clearing and flew right at us then up out of sight making us both Scream! Right then I began to ejaculate, spurred on by fear and the shivering, quivering spasms that were rolling through her pussy and thighs. My orgasm seemed to go on and on for minutes, as I continued thrusting and squirting shot after shot into that wonderful girl. Or, into the condom, I should say.When my spasms finally ended, I pulled out of her and plopped into the leaves next to her. She crawled on top of me and whispered into my ear, “I love you too. Now let's get the hell out of here.”I yanked the fully loaded condom from my penis, and tossed it into the leaves, then we dressed hastily, laughing like idiots, and crawled in terror through the tunnel. Then we sprinted breathlessly, hand in hand through the park to her dorm. We didn't look back until we got through the doors in the foyer. I swear, it felt as something was chasing us the whole way, but when we turned to look out the glass doors, nothing was there but the cold October dawn. The sky was glowing with the first rays of morning light. We laughed and breathlessly talked about what an amazing night we'd had! But what the hell was that thing? We agreed it must have been a bird. What else could it have been?Only then did we realize that she'd bled a bit from her broken hymen. The brown crotch of my lederhosen had splashes of dark crimson, and her flowery skirt and white stockings were spattered too. But we both laughed, happy that the lobby was deserted at this hour. We held onto each other in the foyer until the morning sun broke over the treetops, casting October orange light on her bronze face, and filling her blue eyes with wonder. She was even more stunning than ever. We stood up and I kissed her goodnight, or good morning I guess. But before she went inside, I haltingly said, “Uh, do you think, that you'd like to, uh, go out with me again?”She smiled as if I'd just asked her the dumbest question in the world. “I'm your girlfriend, stupid.”My heart soared. I have a girlfriend!by CBSummers, for Literotica 

The Power of Dirndls And Lederhosen: Part 1Hans channels his grandfather's German roots, to overcome his inadequacies with women.Based on the post by cb summers, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Connected.September 22October was almost here. Outside, a cold, gusty wind was blowing the freshly fallen leaves across the campus commons. But I was warm in my room, snuggled under the covers, devouring chapter seven of Advanced Organic Chemistry. I had a test scheduled for the next morning, but studying wasn't a chore for a nerd like me. It was a joy. I was basking in the awesome power of carbon, and the stunning ways it had chemically combined with other compounds over the unimaginable eons of time to form the very basis of life itself.I loved learning. I loved science. I loved textbooks. They allowed me to escape myself. In textbooks I wasn't a loveless, lonely virgin. I wasn't an awkward, babbling dork. I didn't have a disappointing body with deep pockmarks from a high-school bout with acne, and crooked teeth from parents too poor to pay for braces. And I didn't become embarrassingly tongue-tied in the presence of hotties, because there were no hotties in textbooks. There wasn't even a me. Lost in the mysteries and majesty of science, I became the universe itself. Immortal. Beautiful. Content.It was a blessed relief from all the stress I'd been under of late. You see, I could understand carbon. I could understand DNA. I could understand calculus, non-Euclidean geometry and superstring theory. But girls? They were a total mystery to me.My roommate Troy had been trying to share his ‘wisdom' about the fairer sex with me, but it wasn't easy for me to take his advice. After all, he was a Neanderthal. Normally, I avoided guys like him. You know, big dumb lunks, with handsome faces, muscular bodies, and cocky attitudes. Troy was willfully ignorant about the natural world. He didn't believe in evolution, because it just didn't make sense to him, but he did believe in Bigfoot because he saw a movie about it once. I mean, he was just an idiot. I never would have chosen a guy like him to be my roommate, but my roomie for the last two years suddenly transferred to Columbia just before school started in September, so Troy, was assigned to me at random.I'll never forget the day I met the big dope. He swaggered into my room as if he owned the place. He was tall and broad, with a thick, strong neck, short tan hair, and an infuriating air of confidence. I hated him instantly. But I resolved to try to get along with him, so I said, “Hi. I'm Hans. Hans Willis.”He replied, “Look dude, here's the deal I'm gonna fuck a lot of girls in this room, so we need to work out some kinda arrangement. If you see a sock hanging on the doorknob, don't come in. Got it? Just assume I'm boning some chick. I don't care if you have to sleep in the lobby, don't come between me and my pussy. But don't worry, same rules apply for both of us. If I see the sock, I'll stay out too. Those are now the house rules. Name's Troy, by the way.” He held his fist out for me to bump, so I bumped it.A Crushing Defeat To The Neanderthal.But the one girl I actually did go on one date with, that September, ended up becoming my roommate's main fuck buddy, Briona. She's maybe the smartest female in the science department, but her primal desires led her to the neanderthal, Troy.  It wasn't even a week after my one feeble date. Briona basically ignored me in class, and I was miserable. I became depressed and stayed in my dorm, sulking myself to sleep.So there I was, lost in my textbook on a cold September evening, when voices in the hallway brought me out of my reverie. They stopped in front of my door and began to talk back and forth in hushed tones. I recognized Troy's voice. He started talking loudly. “No, really, don't worry about my roommate. He's asleep. Sleeps like a fucking log.”A girl's voice whispered, “Really? I don't know about this. Are you sure?”He answered loudly, “Yeah, I toldja, he's on some kinda meds to keep his acne from coming back. Those things knock him out like a light. It's actually kinda bizarre. Hey, why don't you see for yourself?”He was fumbling with his keys, and then he dropped them loudly on the floor. I realized with shock that he was hoping I'd hear him so I could pretend to be asleep. I was gripped with utter terror. He'd never done anything like this before. He usually called me if he wanted to bring a girl over, to give me time to clear out. But he must have met this girl at some late night party, and didn't think I'd agree to leaving the room at 2:15 in the morning. So what was his plan? He wanted me to stay? To, what? Pretend to be asleep while he fucked this girl? It was a crazy idea! Utterly indecent! Utterly wonderful! Two conflicting thoughts raced through my head at the same time. One: I don't have time for this! I have to study! Two: Oh holy shit, oh holy shit, shit,!What a position to put me in! But I felt I had no choice but to play possum! I heard the key clicking into place, so I barely had time to put my books on the floor, flip out my bedside lamp, and yank the covers messily over my head before the door swung open. I didn't see them coming in, but I heard their voices.He said, in a normal voice, “See? What did I tell you? Out like a light.”She whispered, “No, really?”The door closed, and he said, “Here. Let me show you.” He tromped over to me, shook me and shouted, “Wake up, roomie! The building's on fire!” Then he leaned down close enough to whisper, “Please, Hans. Just go with it.” I didn't make a peep, so he said loudly, “What did I tell you? Dead to the world. It's just you and me, sweetheart.'She giggled and whispered, “Damn. Those must be some killer meds. Which one does he take? Xeotrex, or Iso…”She fell silent. From the sound of the wet little smacking sounds I heard, he must have started kissing her to stop her questions. Damn, what a caveman he was. But she didn't complain. Soon she was making hungry little moans and wet slobbering gasps and groans. Oh shit. I couldn't believe they were making out, right there in my room! My cock started to harden. It was a good thing I'd turned to my side, or she might have seen a volcano rising under my sheets.I just lay there in shock for the next five minutes, unable to block out those sexy sounds. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. But it only got more shocking when I heard the unmistakable sound of a belt buckle clinking open. Troy moaned, “Oh yeah, baby. Fuck yeah.”She giggled, saying, “Let's see what you got in here, big boy. Oh, hot damn. It's so big. Damn. My fingers barely fit around it. Fuck. I gotta get a taste of that.” Then she inhaled and made a wet slurping sound.Troy moaned deeply, “Oh, fuck.”Up to that very moment, I'd had no intention of peeking. But once I realized that a girl was giving Troy a blowjob just a few feet away from me, and the only thing that stood between them and my eyes was my blanket, well I just couldn't resist. I had to see. I just had to! So I slowly moved my hand up to my face and began to tug at the blanket to form a shadowy little opening to peep through. The first thing I saw was Troy's rapturous face, illuminated by his bedside light. He looked right at me. I thought he'd be pissed, but he just smiled and put his finger to his lips, then pointed down, grinning like a birthday boy showing off his brand new BB gun.With that encouragement, I pulled the opening a little more open, and laid my eyes on a sight that absolutely shook me to the core.Briona Skorsczi was on her knees sucking my roommate's big fat cock.I couldn't have been more shocked if I'd suddenly seen my family being eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex. It was horrifying, yet I couldn't look away. I just couldn't. Briona's big, beautiful nose was bobbing forward and back, her glasses sliding down to the tip as she sucked him into her beautiful mouth. Her delightful bunny teeth were sliding gently over the raw, naked flesh of that frighteningly huge cock of his. It had to be eight or nine inches long. Maybe more.She must have taken off her coat and shirt before getting on her knees, because I saw her enormous tits absolutely straining to escape the confines of her lacy white bra. I'd been right all along. She had been hiding a smoking hot body under all those baggy clothes. Her tits were even bigger than I'd suspected, probably full D cups, and her creamy white cleavage was wiggling like a bowl of Jell-O as she slurped Troy's cock with increasing eagerness.I watched all of this in utter shock. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. The sweet, innocent, genius of my dreams was polishing a Neanderthal's knob. It was wrong on so many levels; I just couldn't wrap my head around it. How the hell had he met her anyway? I hadn't told either of them about each other, but Prairie Tech wasn't a very big college, so this was just one of those random coincidences that happen from time to time. Only this time it was happening to me, goddamn it!It was heartbreaking to watch. But I had to. I had to. Those full, beautiful lips, which I'd been too timid to kiss, were now sliding and slurping over the bulbous head of Troy's throbbing meat. And her delicate pink tongue, which had said so many fascinating things to me over the course of our evening together, was now slipping out, and flicking that sensitive spot on the underside of his glans. All the while she stroked his long shaft with those delicate hands I'd imagined holding in my own. Then she lifted his shaft, leaned forward and slurped his big, hairless balls into her mouth, making him grab his bedside table for support.“Oh fuck. Suck my balls, bitch. Yeah, so fucking good.”I watched her lick every inch of his veiny shaft, her big beautiful nose occasionally bending in contact with his cock, which I found particularly obscene. Then she kissed her way back to the tip of his salami and began gobbling him forward and back in long swooping moves, making her brown hair bob and bounce, taking him deeper and deeper into her throat with each stroke. She began to drool copiously, coating his cock with so much slime that long strands of slobber dripped down onto her creamy white cleavage. God, I just about passed out at the sight of it. She tilted her head lithely side to side as she gulped his phallus, literally swallowing it until I could actually see the end of his massive member distorting her willowy neck! It was astonishing. She was making loud, wet gasping sounds, but unbelievably, she wasn't choking on his cock; not one tiny bit.That's when it dawned on me that she wasn't a sweet little shy virgin after all. She'd obviously sucked a cock or twelve in her time. Hell, for all I knew, she did this sort of thing every single night of the year. I'd completely misjudged her. She hadn't turned me down because she was too busy. She'd turned me down because I was a coward.Looking back, I suddenly realized that she'd been waiting for me to make some kind of move all night during our date. Now with hindsight twenty twenty, I could remember at least half a dozen opportunities for intimacy that I'd passed up. I could have held her hand at the art show. I could have sat next to her at dinner. I could have put my arm over her shoulder on the walk to her place. And that awkward silence before she closed the door? She'd definitely wanted me to kiss her!Idiot! Why Didn't I Fucking Kiss Her? And if I had, then what? Would she have pulled me inside? Would she have dropped to her knees and pulled out my cock and started sucking me, just like she did with Troy? And then what? Would she have fucked me too?! Oh shit. I blew it. I fucking blew it.I closed the gap in my blankets, and closed my eyes, trying to stifle my sobs of crushing regret. Oh god, I was a pathetic excuse for a man. I wasn't a man at all! I was a fucking Boy! Troy may have been a stupid caveman who didn't believe in evolution, but did believe that a magnetic wristband could make you run faster, but nevertheless, he was still twice the man as me. My pitiful erection faded away and I silently wept, feeling lower and more useless than I'd ever felt in my life.Okay. I must admit. I was wallowing a bit. But then I heard Briona say, “I want you to cream on my tits, baby.”I instantly forgot my misery, and opened the flap again, just in time to see her reaching behind her back and unhooking her bra. It popped open and her big pale breasts fell into view. My cock leapt fully erect again. Her nipples were puffy and pink. Oh god, her tits were more magnificent than I could have ever imagined. Troy grabbed her head with both hands and began fucking her face hard and fast. Then he stiffened up, arched his back and let out a long, gut-wrenching, guttural groan. She pulled back and presented her tits to him, while she jerked his long pipe with one hand. I saw his nuts literally jumping, then ropes of glistening white ropes shot out of him, splooging all over her breasts and neck. She jerked it out of him with expert yanks, until her cleavage was dripping with goo. Then she leaned forward and sucked his cock head while squeezing his balls, making him squirt another shot into her mouth. She looked up at him over her glasses and opened her mouth, and let the cum slowly drip out of it onto her tits. Oh fucking christ! It was so fucking Filthy! Then she ran both hands over her breasts, spreading his shiny cum all over until she her tits were glistening.He couldn't stand up any longer, so he plopped down onto his bed, and fell onto his back. Briona stood up, and quickly stripped out of her shoes, jeans and panties, a sight that made my eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. She had an incredible ass and a stunningly narrow waist. What a figure! She was built like a movie star! Her back was to me now, so I reached into my shorts and wrapped my hand around my throbbing hard cock and started jerking off as quietly as I could manage. She leaned forward to yank Troy's pants off, giving me an amazing view of her extremely hairy pussy. It was big, bushy and brown, but fucking hot as hell. I couldn't make out her pussy lips, but I didn't care. I just stared up her ass crack, jacking off like the pathetic little perv I was, my cock lubricated by the copious amounts of precum it was weeping.Once she'd stripped his bottom half bare, she wiped her tits clean of cum with his pants, then climbed on top of him. I thought she was gonna fuck him, but she kept going upward until she was straddling his face. “Suck my fucking pussy, donkey-dick.”I couldn't get over how filthy her mouth was. It was like she was split personality, or something. This wasn't the brainy girl I'd been out on a date with. That girl could wax poetically about superstring theory and the big bang. But this girl was gleefully grinding her pussy against a moron's face, as she moaned, “Oh fuck yeah. Eat my pussy, fuck wad. Eat my fucking pussy. Yeah, that's right. Stick that tongue inside my cunt. Taste my fucking cum.”I couldn't see exactly what he was doing. Her back was to me, and his big fat cock was in the foreground, blocking some of the view. But I saw the underside of his chin, and his tongue going up into her. He was making crazy slurping sounds, and his semi-hard cock slowly stood to attention again, and he started stroking it, at the same time that I was stoking mine. I wondered what it must feel like to have a monster cock like that in your hand. Mine was puny compared to his. A measly seven and a half inches.Briona was like a wild woman, and she couldn't get enough of Troy's tongue. She just kept grinding herself roughly into his face for the longest time, while he jerked himself off. Her aggressiveness was a bit scary, actually. I wondered what I would have done if she'd attacked me like that in her apartment. I was starting to feel like maybe I dodged a bullet there. Sure, she was sexy, smart and sweet, but damn, she was an animal in the sack! She started shouting out filthy commands as she rode his face. “Yeah, suck my pussy, you mother fucker! Suck my hairy snatch. You know you like it, fuck face. Gimme that hand. Use your finger, oh shit yeah. Oh, fuck yeah, right there. Yeah, like that. No don't stop licking my clit. Yeah, oh fuck, No, don't change anything! Just keep doing it like that, mother fucker! Oh Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!”She was screaming so loud, they were in serious danger of having the RA's realize there was a girl in the room, but Troy clamped his free hand over her mouth. For the next ten minutes she moaned and groaned into his hand, and he took her through a series of awe-inspiring orgasms. Then right when it seemed she was at the peak of her excitement, she suddenly jumped backward and straddled his cock, then lowered herself slowly onto it.Wow. She didn't even make him put on a condom! I saw his huge manhood spreading her furry pussy lips wide for a moment before she lowered herself slowly down his shaft, while juices dripped out of her. Based on the guttural moan she emitted, I guess he was stretching her to the limit, and she liked it. The sight of him disappearing into her snatch triggered something in my own cock. I felt a burst of pleasure, and moments later I was filling my underwear with cum. But I didn't get soft for a second, so I just kept jerking, ignoring the sticky gunk on my hand, taking advantage of the fact that her back was turned to me so she couldn't see my blankets jumping as I jerked off like a monkey in a zoo.She rode him like that for a good long time, slowly at first, moaning, “Oh fucking Christ on a sandwich! You're so fucking big! I've never fucked anyone like you before! Oh god. You're splitting me open, you fucking animal!” But once she got used to his girth, she began to fuck him with more speed and gusto. She started getting less careful, so she could no longer keep his cock from popping out of her pussy. But each time she'd reach down, pull it back into place and start galloping him again, slamming herself down on him like she was riding a wild horse. She was insatiable! And he had lasting power. I shot a second wad into my shorts, but he just kept fucking her on and on and on!Eventually, he flipped her over onto her back, and lifted her long, pale legs high in the air on each of his shoulders, and started ramming himself into her like he was trying to destroy her cunt. But she just stared up at him with those big brown eyes and urged him on. “Harder, you fucking wimp. Fuck me harder.” She said it with an animal intensity, which  I'd never imagined her capable of. It was frighteningly sexy! And he seemed to love it, because he attacked her with the fury of a jungle cat. They were two wild animals, groaning and grinding on that squeaky dorm bed, in a crazy battle to the death.They were turned sideways to me now, so I beheld the stunning sight of Briona's big breasts surging up and down her chest as he pounded her. He occasionally leaned forward and sucked them roughly into his mouth, nibbling her puffy nipples hard enough to make her squeal with delight. It looked so painful to me, but Briona seemed to love it.She kept groaning and cursing the whole time he fucked her. “Harder! Fuck me harder! Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck me with that big fat cock! Shit! You feel so fucking huge! Harder! Fuck me harder! Oh my god. Oh my god, you feel so good inside me! Oh fucking god! Oh fucking god! oh.”He slammed his hand over her mouth as she had another crazy loud orgasm. He pounded her with merciless glee, his well-muscled body glistening with sweat. He moaned, “Take it bitch. Fucking take it!”I had to stroke myself slower, now that she could possibly see me, but that didn't stop me from cumming a third time. My underwear was absolutely gross with accumulated cum by now, but my cock didn't get soft, so I kept squeezing and stroking it as I stared at Briona's beautiful tits, her long, lithe legs, and her beautiful big nose. She was looking up at Troy, right into amazed eyes, with a passion so hot that it could have started a forest fire.She suddenly crawled out from under him, moaning, “Oh, shit, Fuck me doggy style, you son of a bitch!” She got up on her hands and knees and he immediately rammed himself into her slit from behind. She arched her neck up ward, her lush mouth opening into a long, breathy groan. “God damn. So fucking good.”My eyes were drawn to her pendulous breasts. They were flopping forward and back as Troy fucked her. Once or twice he leaned forward to fondle them, something I longed to do, but that just threw off his rhythm, so he went back to fucking her. I wanted to get out of bed, and crawl under her, and let those big boobs sweep up and down my face. But I was pretty sure that would have freaked her the fuck out, so I just kept playing possum.He looked toward me a few times, smiling with wicked pride. He even flashed me one of those stupid ‘hang ten' hand signals that dopes like him were fond of. I wanted to hate him for stealing my girl, but I just couldn't be mad at him. It wasn't his fault. It was mine. I'd let her slip out of my hands. And now he was fucking my dream girl. I sure hoped he was enjoying it, because the longer it went on, the more my image of her slipped away. She wasn't my dream girl any longer. Oh, I loved her still, and admired her. I also hoped one day I might be friends with her. But I didn't dream about fucking her any longer. I knew I'd never be able to handle her. For one thing, she seemed to like it rough, which just wasn't in me. And for another thing, she absolutely adored Troy's humungous cock. It was at least an inch or two longer than my pitiful seven inches. It was apparent now why all those girls were so happy after fucking him. How could I ever hope to make her happy in bed after she'd been fucked like this?Troy grinned at me and mouthed, “Watch this”, then he grabbed his pillow, stripped the pillowcase off, flipped the loose end under her midsection and grabbed both ends with his fists and suddenly lifted her up, so her knees left the bed. Now, with her utterly under his control, he started to fuck her harder than ever, and she started to squeal and weep and scream. She looked back at him with a look of pure, worshipful amazement as he pounded her pussy like a pro, tears pouring out of her eyes from the sheer perfection of the moment. She'd been calling the shots all night, but now he was in command, and she was enraptured. Utterly enraptured.And I guess I was enraptured too. They both amazed me. I felt like a pathetic troll compared to these guys. If any two people on earth were made to fuck each other, it was Troy and Briona, goddamn it! He fucked her that way longer than I could ever have done, but he finally began to grunt and stiffen with impending release.Briona moaned, “Oh yeah. Cum inside me. I want to feel you cumming inside me. Oh god, yes, I can feel it!”The astounding sight of my roommate filling that beautiful, busty nerd's pussy with cum made me blast one final load of semen into my sticky underwear. And as impossible as it may seem, I actually fell asleep immediately afterward. I don't know if they kept fucking or not, but I would have slept through an earthquake at that point. It was probably some sort of psychological defense mechanism. My brain had overloaded with a lethal combination of lust and self-loathing. My only escape was sweet oblivion.Frat Party Invite: “You should go,” said Troy.“Yeah, I agree,” said Briona, cuddling next to him in his bed. “What have you got to lose?”I shrugged. “I don't really know these guys. And I wouldn't know anyone else at the party either.”Briona shrugged, “So what?”Troy added, “And it's at a frat, dude! Think of all that fresh young sorority pussy!”Briona slapped his arm, hard enough to make him squeal. “Shut up, you big dumb ape!”Troy pouted adorably, nursing his arm. “Sorry Bree.”“Oh, did I hurt you, baby?” Then she gently, lovingly kissed his arm, as he looked at her enraptured.They'd only been together for two weeks, but the change she'd had on Troy had been amazing. He'd stopped trolling for chicks, even though she hadn't asked him to. And when the two of them weren't over at her apartment fucking like rabbits, she was over at our room studying with me! It worked out for all three of us because our studying together encouraged him to do his own homework, so his grades began to improve as well.Just in case you're wondering, Briona had no idea that I'd been awake the night she fucked him. In fact, when she found out that I was his roommate, she nearly had a heart attack, but I pretended his ‘acne medicine' story was true. There are some acne medicines that cause drowsiness, although I'd been off them for over a year. Still, I kept up the charade, secretly hoping that she might fuck him again while I ‘slept'. But apparently the night she came over her cousin had been visiting, so her apartment wasn't empty. That wasn't true any longer, so I hadn't seen hide nor hair of her pussy since that wonderful night, and I probably never would again.But that was okay. She was fast becoming one of my best friends. The fact that I'd seen her totally naked, riding my roommate's cock while she cursed like a whore, didn't diminish my fondness or admiration for her one tiny bit. It actually opened my eyes up to my own naïve ideas about sexuality. I realized that sex isn't just for sluts and dopes, but for smart people too. People like Briona, and people like me! It finally dawned on me that everybody in the world had sex, and every woman, however shy she may seem, had a secret tiger in her, just waiting to be discovered and unleashed.As for Troy, he was still a bit of an asshole, but he treated Briona like a princess. He was honestly in love. So much so that it frightened him a bit. After I told him that she was a genius, he started to worry that she'd lose interest in him, so he worked extra hard to earn her love. But I'd seen him fucking her. As long as he kept slaying her pussy like that, he had nothing to worry about.Briona asked, “Who are these guys again?”“Roland Rawlings and Joseph, something, I forget his last name. They're in Tau Sigma Omicron, I think. I'm in their Astrophysics study group. I guess that's why they invited me to their Oktoberfest party. I can't think of any other reason. I'm certainly not interested in pledging any frats. I don't have that kind of money anyway.”Briona nodded. “Well, I don't know them, but Tau Sigma has a good reputation. If you were pledging, you could do worse. Though Delta Delta is the one that most of the guys in the science department belong to. They have an excellent academics record.”Troy grinned mischievously, saying, “Yeah, but the real question is, does Tau Sigma have a sister sorority, and do they like to fuck nerds?”Briona roared like a lion and started snapping her teeth at him. “I told you to stop it, you dirty little boy! Don't make me bite you!”He stuck his tongue out at her so she leapt on top of him like a jungle cat. I watched them roughhouse with a smile on my face. Troy was much bigger and stronger than her, but he let her pin him with only minimal resistance. That's one of the ways I knew he was smitten with her. She'd literally tamed him. It was really kind of cute.Still straddling Troy, Briona turned to me and said, “No, really, Hans, you ought to go. You don't have anything better to do tonight, do you?”I shrugged. “No, but I don't have a costume. Everyone's supposed to dress up like Germans.”Troy said, “Well, you're German, aren't you? Just go as yourself.”“My grandpa's from Austria, but I don't think that counts as a costume.”Briona smiled, “Oh hey, there's that costume store over in that strip mall next to the Wendy's. I bet they're open for another hour or two. You should run over there and, here, ” She reached into her pocket and pulled out her wallet, then took out sixty dollars, “Go rent a costume.”I put my hand up, “No, no. I can't take your money.”She hopped off Troy and pressed the money into my hands. “Consider it a loan, Hansie. Pay me back when you can.”I looked at the money, and my heart started to beat hard. I'd never gone to a real party before. Or at least not one at a cool fraternity, which I just knew would be chock full of eligible women getting drunk off their asses. I didn't know what to say, but Briona just pulled me off my bed and pushed me toward the door, saying, “You better hurry up before they close! Scoot!”Troy shouted from his bed. “Yeah, get out of here, loser, so I can fuck my girlfriend!”As she was closing the door behind me, I heard her saying to Troy, “Okay mister. You've officially pissed me off. Now you're gonna get bit!”I stood in that hallway for a few minutes, listening to her jungle-cat roars turn into orgasmic groans as they attacked each other in my room, perhaps even on my very bed. It made my cock stir with lust. Since it was unlikely they'd ever do it while I was ‘sleeping' again, eavesdropping at my dorm room door might be the closest I'd ever get. But as fun it was to listen to Briona's dirty talk, her money was burning a hole in my hand, and I knew she'd expect me to have a story to show for it, so I dragged myself away from her beautiful moans, and sweet obscenities.By the time I'd walked to the costume shop, the sun was already setting, and they were just about to close. But the man let me in and showed me his selection of Bavarian costumes. Most of them were cheap, mass-manufactured Halloween costumes, but one was really quite authentic. I should know. I'd been dragged to my fair share of polkas and Oktoberfest celebrations when I was a kid. My parents were proud of their Austrian ancestry, so I could tell an authentic outfit when I saw one. It wasn't cheap, but Briona's money, added to my own pitiful stash, added up to just barely enough to rent it, along with an oversized plastic stein. That was all the money I had for the rest of the month, but I figured, if I'm going to look like a fool, I might as well do it in style. Besides, if I impress those guys, maybe they'll invite me to another party.As I was trying it on, the shop owner said, “You're lucky you're not a woman. A bunch of girls came in here earlier and rented all the Bavarian dresses in the place. Hey, you know what? I bet they're going to the same party as you.” I shrugged, barely hearing him. I was distracted by my own reflection in the mirror. I looked exactly like my grandfather. There was photo of him hanging on our wall back home which was taken when he was a boy in Austria, wearing a costume that was freakishly similar to this: a pair of dark brown lederhosen with suspenders, high socks embroidered with ducks and edelweiss flowers, a loose white peasant shirt and a blue cap with a long feather sticking out the top. My god, I was the spitting image of my grandfather.Suddenly I flashed on the old man. He was the most rakish, hearty, balls-to-the-wall man I'd ever met. He could have eaten ten Troys for breakfast and still had room for seven Brad Pitts. When Grandpa came into a room, everybody smiled. He flirted with all the ladies, even his own relatives, and made every man his buddy. He was amazing, and lived life to the fullest, right up to the very end. I hooked my thumbs in my suspenders, just as he was doing in that old photograph, and grinned, trying to make my eyes twinkle just like his. Damn. I looked more like him than ever. And then I remembered that he had a pockmarked face too. I'd never thought about it before, but he must have had acne as a teenager, the same as me! But he hadn't let that stop him from being a man, and damn it all, I wasn't gonna let it stop me either!I walked proudly to Fraternity Row, dressed in my costume, ignoring the catcalls from passers-by. No, scratch that. I didn't ignore them. Whenever someone laughed or shouted out some obscenity at me, I raised my fake German stein and shouted, “Oktoberfest!” at the top of my lungs, and their jeers turned instantly into cheers. I felt almost as if I was channeling my grandfather's spirit. But I didn't believe in any sort of afterlife, so I knew that my grandfather's spirit didn't exist. No. If anything, it was my grandfather's DNA coursing through my blood, which gave me the gumption to act as if I was the man I wanted to be. That, and the long feather in my cap.I charged into that party as if I owned the place, and stomped all the way into the middle of the room on my big, loud boots. That's when I noticed that I was the only person in sight wearing a costume of any kind. Then I saw the assholes who'd invited me; laughing their asses off. My heart sank, and my cheeks burned bright red. I'd thought I'd left this kind of crap behind me in high school. But I was wrong. You never get too old for a pair of snotty assholes to make you feel like a fool. I refused to give them the pleasure of seeing my embarrassment, so I just smiled and waved, proud of my Bavarian heritage and culture.I was about to make a humiliating retreat from this frat party when I realized, much to my delight, that I wasn't alone. Six freshmen girls, dressed in sexy little Bavarian dresses, filed through the door, drawing fresh gouts of laughter from the assembly. Now I knew who'd rented all the female costumes from the store! Most of the girls looked utterly embarrassed, but one of the girls was shining with confidence. Her sky-blue eyes caught sight of me and a broad grin spread out on her stunningly beautiful, copper-colored face. I'd seen her around the Science Building, but I didn't know her name. All I knew was that she was a freshman, and insanely hot. I considered her so far out of my league that I didn't even daydream about asking her out.She was simply stunning to behold, her lovely tits were perfectly displayed in the snug bodice. Her figure was looking scrumptious, particularly as she made her way through the crowd toward me, smiling from ear to ear. As she came closer, I realized that her costume was the female match for mine. They had the same brown, green and blue fabrics, the same embroidered socks. But instead of the lederhosen and suspenders my costume had, she was wearing a traditional dirndl, which was comprised of a brown skirt, a big green apron, a puffy white blouse, and a bodice with a low front, which was pushing her ample breasts up into a startling display of feminine pulchritude. I mean, this chick's cleavage was epic, and it was wiggling about wonderfully as she clomped toward me in her polka shoes. Her wavy dark brown hair was braided into two long braids that were framing her tits marvelously.Coincidence was once again rearing its ugly head, but this time it seemed to be working in my favor!She shouted in a fake German accent, “Liebchen! Vere haff you been? I've been vorried schick about you!”Then she gave me a big hug and a quick kiss on the lips. I was stunned. That was literally the first kiss of my life, and even though she meant it as a joke, my heart did a total flip flop in my chest, and tingles shot down my spine! Then she took my hand in hers and pulled me toward the other costumed girls, all of whom were adorable, each in their own way. “Come vit me, liebchen. I vant you to meet my freundins!” The girls laughed when they saw that I was wearing the male match of their friend's dirndl. “Girls, girls, I vant you to meet mein freund, Helmutt von Wiener.”Continued in Part Two,Based on a post by CBSummers, for Literotica

The Power of Dirndls And Lederhosen: Part 1Hans channels his grandfather's German roots, to overcome his inadequacies with women.Based on the post by cb summers, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Connected.September 22October was almost here. Outside, a cold, gusty wind was blowing the freshly fallen leaves across the campus commons. But I was warm in my room, snuggled under the covers, devouring chapter seven of Advanced Organic Chemistry. I had a test scheduled for the next morning, but studying wasn't a chore for a nerd like me. It was a joy. I was basking in the awesome power of carbon, and the stunning ways it had chemically combined with other compounds over the unimaginable eons of time to form the very basis of life itself.I loved learning. I loved science. I loved textbooks. They allowed me to escape myself. In textbooks I wasn't a loveless, lonely virgin. I wasn't an awkward, babbling dork. I didn't have a disappointing body with deep pockmarks from a high-school bout with acne, and crooked teeth from parents too poor to pay for braces. And I didn't become embarrassingly tongue-tied in the presence of hotties, because there were no hotties in textbooks. There wasn't even a me. Lost in the mysteries and majesty of science, I became the universe itself. Immortal. Beautiful. Content.It was a blessed relief from all the stress I'd been under of late. You see, I could understand carbon. I could understand DNA. I could understand calculus, non-Euclidean geometry and superstring theory. But girls? They were a total mystery to me.My roommate Troy had been trying to share his ‘wisdom' about the fairer sex with me, but it wasn't easy for me to take his advice. After all, he was a Neanderthal. Normally, I avoided guys like him. You know, big dumb lunks, with handsome faces, muscular bodies, and cocky attitudes. Troy was willfully ignorant about the natural world. He didn't believe in evolution, because it just didn't make sense to him, but he did believe in Bigfoot because he saw a movie about it once. I mean, he was just an idiot. I never would have chosen a guy like him to be my roommate, but my roomie for the last two years suddenly transferred to Columbia just before school started in September, so Troy, was assigned to me at random.I'll never forget the day I met the big dope. He swaggered into my room as if he owned the place. He was tall and broad, with a thick, strong neck, short tan hair, and an infuriating air of confidence. I hated him instantly. But I resolved to try to get along with him, so I said, “Hi. I'm Hans. Hans Willis.”He replied, “Look dude, here's the deal I'm gonna fuck a lot of girls in this room, so we need to work out some kinda arrangement. If you see a sock hanging on the doorknob, don't come in. Got it? Just assume I'm boning some chick. I don't care if you have to sleep in the lobby, don't come between me and my pussy. But don't worry, same rules apply for both of us. If I see the sock, I'll stay out too. Those are now the house rules. Name's Troy, by the way.” He held his fist out for me to bump, so I bumped it.A Crushing Defeat To The Neanderthal.But the one girl I actually did go on one date with, that September, ended up becoming my roommate's main fuck buddy, Briona. She's maybe the smartest female in the science department, but her primal desires led her to the neanderthal, Troy.  It wasn't even a week after my one feeble date. Briona basically ignored me in class, and I was miserable. I became depressed and stayed in my dorm, sulking myself to sleep.So there I was, lost in my textbook on a cold September evening, when voices in the hallway brought me out of my reverie. They stopped in front of my door and began to talk back and forth in hushed tones. I recognized Troy's voice. He started talking loudly. “No, really, don't worry about my roommate. He's asleep. Sleeps like a fucking log.”A girl's voice whispered, “Really? I don't know about this. Are you sure?”He answered loudly, “Yeah, I toldja, he's on some kinda meds to keep his acne from coming back. Those things knock him out like a light. It's actually kinda bizarre. Hey, why don't you see for yourself?”He was fumbling with his keys, and then he dropped them loudly on the floor. I realized with shock that he was hoping I'd hear him so I could pretend to be asleep. I was gripped with utter terror. He'd never done anything like this before. He usually called me if he wanted to bring a girl over, to give me time to clear out. But he must have met this girl at some late night party, and didn't think I'd agree to leaving the room at 2:15 in the morning. So what was his plan? He wanted me to stay? To, what? Pretend to be asleep while he fucked this girl? It was a crazy idea! Utterly indecent! Utterly wonderful! Two conflicting thoughts raced through my head at the same time. One: I don't have time for this! I have to study! Two: Oh holy shit, oh holy shit, shit,!What a position to put me in! But I felt I had no choice but to play possum! I heard the key clicking into place, so I barely had time to put my books on the floor, flip out my bedside lamp, and yank the covers messily over my head before the door swung open. I didn't see them coming in, but I heard their voices.He said, in a normal voice, “See? What did I tell you? Out like a light.”She whispered, “No, really?”The door closed, and he said, “Here. Let me show you.” He tromped over to me, shook me and shouted, “Wake up, roomie! The building's on fire!” Then he leaned down close enough to whisper, “Please, Hans. Just go with it.” I didn't make a peep, so he said loudly, “What did I tell you? Dead to the world. It's just you and me, sweetheart.'She giggled and whispered, “Damn. Those must be some killer meds. Which one does he take? Xeotrex, or Iso…”She fell silent. From the sound of the wet little smacking sounds I heard, he must have started kissing her to stop her questions. Damn, what a caveman he was. But she didn't complain. Soon she was making hungry little moans and wet slobbering gasps and groans. Oh shit. I couldn't believe they were making out, right there in my room! My cock started to harden. It was a good thing I'd turned to my side, or she might have seen a volcano rising under my sheets.I just lay there in shock for the next five minutes, unable to block out those sexy sounds. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. But it only got more shocking when I heard the unmistakable sound of a belt buckle clinking open. Troy moaned, “Oh yeah, baby. Fuck yeah.”She giggled, saying, “Let's see what you got in here, big boy. Oh, hot damn. It's so big. Damn. My fingers barely fit around it. Fuck. I gotta get a taste of that.” Then she inhaled and made a wet slurping sound.Troy moaned deeply, “Oh, fuck.”Up to that very moment, I'd had no intention of peeking. But once I realized that a girl was giving Troy a blowjob just a few feet away from me, and the only thing that stood between them and my eyes was my blanket, well I just couldn't resist. I had to see. I just had to! So I slowly moved my hand up to my face and began to tug at the blanket to form a shadowy little opening to peep through. The first thing I saw was Troy's rapturous face, illuminated by his bedside light. He looked right at me. I thought he'd be pissed, but he just smiled and put his finger to his lips, then pointed down, grinning like a birthday boy showing off his brand new BB gun.With that encouragement, I pulled the opening a little more open, and laid my eyes on a sight that absolutely shook me to the core.Briona Skorsczi was on her knees sucking my roommate's big fat cock.I couldn't have been more shocked if I'd suddenly seen my family being eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex. It was horrifying, yet I couldn't look away. I just couldn't. Briona's big, beautiful nose was bobbing forward and back, her glasses sliding down to the tip as she sucked him into her beautiful mouth. Her delightful bunny teeth were sliding gently over the raw, naked flesh of that frighteningly huge cock of his. It had to be eight or nine inches long. Maybe more.She must have taken off her coat and shirt before getting on her knees, because I saw her enormous tits absolutely straining to escape the confines of her lacy white bra. I'd been right all along. She had been hiding a smoking hot body under all those baggy clothes. Her tits were even bigger than I'd suspected, probably full D cups, and her creamy white cleavage was wiggling like a bowl of Jell-O as she slurped Troy's cock with increasing eagerness.I watched all of this in utter shock. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. The sweet, innocent, genius of my dreams was polishing a Neanderthal's knob. It was wrong on so many levels; I just couldn't wrap my head around it. How the hell had he met her anyway? I hadn't told either of them about each other, but Prairie Tech wasn't a very big college, so this was just one of those random coincidences that happen from time to time. Only this time it was happening to me, goddamn it!It was heartbreaking to watch. But I had to. I had to. Those full, beautiful lips, which I'd been too timid to kiss, were now sliding and slurping over the bulbous head of Troy's throbbing meat. And her delicate pink tongue, which had said so many fascinating things to me over the course of our evening together, was now slipping out, and flicking that sensitive spot on the underside of his glans. All the while she stroked his long shaft with those delicate hands I'd imagined holding in my own. Then she lifted his shaft, leaned forward and slurped his big, hairless balls into her mouth, making him grab his bedside table for support.“Oh fuck. Suck my balls, bitch. Yeah, so fucking good.”I watched her lick every inch of his veiny shaft, her big beautiful nose occasionally bending in contact with his cock, which I found particularly obscene. Then she kissed her way back to the tip of his salami and began gobbling him forward and back in long swooping moves, making her brown hair bob and bounce, taking him deeper and deeper into her throat with each stroke. She began to drool copiously, coating his cock with so much slime that long strands of slobber dripped down onto her creamy white cleavage. God, I just about passed out at the sight of it. She tilted her head lithely side to side as she gulped his phallus, literally swallowing it until I could actually see the end of his massive member distorting her willowy neck! It was astonishing. She was making loud, wet gasping sounds, but unbelievably, she wasn't choking on his cock; not one tiny bit.That's when it dawned on me that she wasn't a sweet little shy virgin after all. She'd obviously sucked a cock or twelve in her time. Hell, for all I knew, she did this sort of thing every single night of the year. I'd completely misjudged her. She hadn't turned me down because she was too busy. She'd turned me down because I was a coward.Looking back, I suddenly realized that she'd been waiting for me to make some kind of move all night during our date. Now with hindsight twenty twenty, I could remember at least half a dozen opportunities for intimacy that I'd passed up. I could have held her hand at the art show. I could have sat next to her at dinner. I could have put my arm over her shoulder on the walk to her place. And that awkward silence before she closed the door? She'd definitely wanted me to kiss her!Idiot! Why Didn't I Fucking Kiss Her? And if I had, then what? Would she have pulled me inside? Would she have dropped to her knees and pulled out my cock and started sucking me, just like she did with Troy? And then what? Would she have fucked me too?! Oh shit. I blew it. I fucking blew it.I closed the gap in my blankets, and closed my eyes, trying to stifle my sobs of crushing regret. Oh god, I was a pathetic excuse for a man. I wasn't a man at all! I was a fucking Boy! Troy may have been a stupid caveman who didn't believe in evolution, but did believe that a magnetic wristband could make you run faster, but nevertheless, he was still twice the man as me. My pitiful erection faded away and I silently wept, feeling lower and more useless than I'd ever felt in my life.Okay. I must admit. I was wallowing a bit. But then I heard Briona say, “I want you to cream on my tits, baby.”I instantly forgot my misery, and opened the flap again, just in time to see her reaching behind her back and unhooking her bra. It popped open and her big pale breasts fell into view. My cock leapt fully erect again. Her nipples were puffy and pink. Oh god, her tits were more magnificent than I could have ever imagined. Troy grabbed her head with both hands and began fucking her face hard and fast. Then he stiffened up, arched his back and let out a long, gut-wrenching, guttural groan. She pulled back and presented her tits to him, while she jerked his long pipe with one hand. I saw his nuts literally jumping, then ropes of glistening white ropes shot out of him, splooging all over her breasts and neck. She jerked it out of him with expert yanks, until her cleavage was dripping with goo. Then she leaned forward and sucked his cock head while squeezing his balls, making him squirt another shot into her mouth. She looked up at him over her glasses and opened her mouth, and let the cum slowly drip out of it onto her tits. Oh fucking christ! It was so fucking Filthy! Then she ran both hands over her breasts, spreading his shiny cum all over until she her tits were glistening.He couldn't stand up any longer, so he plopped down onto his bed, and fell onto his back. Briona stood up, and quickly stripped out of her shoes, jeans and panties, a sight that made my eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. She had an incredible ass and a stunningly narrow waist. What a figure! She was built like a movie star! Her back was to me now, so I reached into my shorts and wrapped my hand around my throbbing hard cock and started jerking off as quietly as I could manage. She leaned forward to yank Troy's pants off, giving me an amazing view of her extremely hairy pussy. It was big, bushy and brown, but fucking hot as hell. I couldn't make out her pussy lips, but I didn't care. I just stared up her ass crack, jacking off like the pathetic little perv I was, my cock lubricated by the copious amounts of precum it was weeping.Once she'd stripped his bottom half bare, she wiped her tits clean of cum with his pants, then climbed on top of him. I thought she was gonna fuck him, but she kept going upward until she was straddling his face. “Suck my fucking pussy, donkey-dick.”I couldn't get over how filthy her mouth was. It was like she was split personality, or something. This wasn't the brainy girl I'd been out on a date with. That girl could wax poetically about superstring theory and the big bang. But this girl was gleefully grinding her pussy against a moron's face, as she moaned, “Oh fuck yeah. Eat my pussy, fuck wad. Eat my fucking pussy. Yeah, that's right. Stick that tongue inside my cunt. Taste my fucking cum.”I couldn't see exactly what he was doing. Her back was to me, and his big fat cock was in the foreground, blocking some of the view. But I saw the underside of his chin, and his tongue going up into her. He was making crazy slurping sounds, and his semi-hard cock slowly stood to attention again, and he started stroking it, at the same time that I was stoking mine. I wondered what it must feel like to have a monster cock like that in your hand. Mine was puny compared to his. A measly seven and a half inches.Briona was like a wild woman, and she couldn't get enough of Troy's tongue. She just kept grinding herself roughly into his face for the longest time, while he jerked himself off. Her aggressiveness was a bit scary, actually. I wondered what I would have done if she'd attacked me like that in her apartment. I was starting to feel like maybe I dodged a bullet there. Sure, she was sexy, smart and sweet, but damn, she was an animal in the sack! She started shouting out filthy commands as she rode his face. “Yeah, suck my pussy, you mother fucker! Suck my hairy snatch. You know you like it, fuck face. Gimme that hand. Use your finger, oh shit yeah. Oh, fuck yeah, right there. Yeah, like that. No don't stop licking my clit. Yeah, oh fuck, No, don't change anything! Just keep doing it like that, mother fucker! Oh Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!”She was screaming so loud, they were in serious danger of having the RA's realize there was a girl in the room, but Troy clamped his free hand over her mouth. For the next ten minutes she moaned and groaned into his hand, and he took her through a series of awe-inspiring orgasms. Then right when it seemed she was at the peak of her excitement, she suddenly jumped backward and straddled his cock, then lowered herself slowly onto it.Wow. She didn't even make him put on a condom! I saw his huge manhood spreading her furry pussy lips wide for a moment before she lowered herself slowly down his shaft, while juices dripped out of her. Based on the guttural moan she emitted, I guess he was stretching her to the limit, and she liked it. The sight of him disappearing into her snatch triggered something in my own cock. I felt a burst of pleasure, and moments later I was filling my underwear with cum. But I didn't get soft for a second, so I just kept jerking, ignoring the sticky gunk on my hand, taking advantage of the fact that her back was turned to me so she couldn't see my blankets jumping as I jerked off like a monkey in a zoo.She rode him like that for a good long time, slowly at first, moaning, “Oh fucking Christ on a sandwich! You're so fucking big! I've never fucked anyone like you before! Oh god. You're splitting me open, you fucking animal!” But once she got used to his girth, she began to fuck him with more speed and gusto. She started getting less careful, so she could no longer keep his cock from popping out of her pussy. But each time she'd reach down, pull it back into place and start galloping him again, slamming herself down on him like she was riding a wild horse. She was insatiable! And he had lasting power. I shot a second wad into my shorts, but he just kept fucking her on and on and on!Eventually, he flipped her over onto her back, and lifted her long, pale legs high in the air on each of his shoulders, and started ramming himself into her like he was trying to destroy her cunt. But she just stared up at him with those big brown eyes and urged him on. “Harder, you fucking wimp. Fuck me harder.” She said it with an animal intensity, which  I'd never imagined her capable of. It was frighteningly sexy! And he seemed to love it, because he attacked her with the fury of a jungle cat. They were two wild animals, groaning and grinding on that squeaky dorm bed, in a crazy battle to the death.They were turned sideways to me now, so I beheld the stunning sight of Briona's big breasts surging up and down her chest as he pounded her. He occasionally leaned forward and sucked them roughly into his mouth, nibbling her puffy nipples hard enough to make her squeal with delight. It looked so painful to me, but Briona seemed to love it.She kept groaning and cursing the whole time he fucked her. “Harder! Fuck me harder! Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck me with that big fat cock! Shit! You feel so fucking huge! Harder! Fuck me harder! Oh my god. Oh my god, you feel so good inside me! Oh fucking god! Oh fucking god! oh.”He slammed his hand over her mouth as she had another crazy loud orgasm. He pounded her with merciless glee, his well-muscled body glistening with sweat. He moaned, “Take it bitch. Fucking take it!”I had to stroke myself slower, now that she could possibly see me, but that didn't stop me from cumming a third time. My underwear was absolutely gross with accumulated cum by now, but my cock didn't get soft, so I kept squeezing and stroking it as I stared at Briona's beautiful tits, her long, lithe legs, and her beautiful big nose. She was looking up at Troy, right into amazed eyes, with a passion so hot that it could have started a forest fire.She suddenly crawled out from under him, moaning, “Oh, shit, Fuck me doggy style, you son of a bitch!” She got up on her hands and knees and he immediately rammed himself into her slit from behind. She arched her neck up ward, her lush mouth opening into a long, breathy groan. “God damn. So fucking good.”My eyes were drawn to her pendulous breasts. They were flopping forward and back as Troy fucked her. Once or twice he leaned forward to fondle them, something I longed to do, but that just threw off his rhythm, so he went back to fucking her. I wanted to get out of bed, and crawl under her, and let those big boobs sweep up and down my face. But I was pretty sure that would have freaked her the fuck out, so I just kept playing possum.He looked toward me a few times, smiling with wicked pride. He even flashed me one of those stupid ‘hang ten' hand signals that dopes like him were fond of. I wanted to hate him for stealing my girl, but I just couldn't be mad at him. It wasn't his fault. It was mine. I'd let her slip out of my hands. And now he was fucking my dream girl. I sure hoped he was enjoying it, because the longer it went on, the more my image of her slipped away. She wasn't my dream girl any longer. Oh, I loved her still, and admired her. I also hoped one day I might be friends with her. But I didn't dream about fucking her any longer. I knew I'd never be able to handle her. For one thing, she seemed to like it rough, which just wasn't in me. And for another thing, she absolutely adored Troy's humungous cock. It was at least an inch or two longer than my pitiful seven inches. It was apparent now why all those girls were so happy after fucking him. How could I ever hope to make her happy in bed after she'd been fucked like this?Troy grinned at me and mouthed, “Watch this”, then he grabbed his pillow, stripped the pillowcase off, flipped the loose end under her midsection and grabbed both ends with his fists and suddenly lifted her up, so her knees left the bed. Now, with her utterly under his control, he started to fuck her harder than ever, and she started to squeal and weep and scream. She looked back at him with a look of pure, worshipful amazement as he pounded her pussy like a pro, tears pouring out of her eyes from the sheer perfection of the moment. She'd been calling the shots all night, but now he was in command, and she was enraptured. Utterly enraptured.And I guess I was enraptured too. They both amazed me. I felt like a pathetic troll compared to these guys. If any two people on earth were made to fuck each other, it was Troy and Briona, goddamn it! He fucked her that way longer than I could ever have done, but he finally began to grunt and stiffen with impending release.Briona moaned, “Oh yeah. Cum inside me. I want to feel you cumming inside me. Oh god, yes, I can feel it!”The astounding sight of my roommate filling that beautiful, busty nerd's pussy with cum made me blast one final load of semen into my sticky underwear. And as impossible as it may seem, I actually fell asleep immediately afterward. I don't know if they kept fucking or not, but I would have slept through an earthquake at that point. It was probably some sort of psychological defense mechanism. My brain had overloaded with a lethal combination of lust and self-loathing. My only escape was sweet oblivion.Frat Party Invite: “You should go,” said Troy.“Yeah, I agree,” said Briona, cuddling next to him in his bed. “What have you got to lose?”I shrugged. “I don't really know these guys. And I wouldn't know anyone else at the party either.”Briona shrugged, “So what?”Troy added, “And it's at a frat, dude! Think of all that fresh young sorority pussy!”Briona slapped his arm, hard enough to make him squeal. “Shut up, you big dumb ape!”Troy pouted adorably, nursing his arm. “Sorry Bree.”“Oh, did I hurt you, baby?” Then she gently, lovingly kissed his arm, as he looked at her enraptured.They'd only been together for two weeks, but the change she'd had on Troy had been amazing. He'd stopped trolling for chicks, even though she hadn't asked him to. And when the two of them weren't over at her apartment fucking like rabbits, she was over at our room studying with me! It worked out for all three of us because our studying together encouraged him to do his own homework, so his grades began to improve as well.Just in case you're wondering, Briona had no idea that I'd been awake the night she fucked him. In fact, when she found out that I was his roommate, she nearly had a heart attack, but I pretended his ‘acne medicine' story was true. There are some acne medicines that cause drowsiness, although I'd been off them for over a year. Still, I kept up the charade, secretly hoping that she might fuck him again while I ‘slept'. But apparently the night she came over her cousin had been visiting, so her apartment wasn't empty. That wasn't true any longer, so I hadn't seen hide nor hair of her pussy since that wonderful night, and I probably never would again.But that was okay. She was fast becoming one of my best friends. The fact that I'd seen her totally naked, riding my roommate's cock while she cursed like a whore, didn't diminish my fondness or admiration for her one tiny bit. It actually opened my eyes up to my own naïve ideas about sexuality. I realized that sex isn't just for sluts and dopes, but for smart people too. People like Briona, and people like me! It finally dawned on me that everybody in the world had sex, and every woman, however shy she may seem, had a secret tiger in her, just waiting to be discovered and unleashed.As for Troy, he was still a bit of an asshole, but he treated Briona like a princess. He was honestly in love. So much so that it frightened him a bit. After I told him that she was a genius, he started to worry that she'd lose interest in him, so he worked extra hard to earn her love. But I'd seen him fucking her. As long as he kept slaying her pussy like that, he had nothing to worry about.Briona asked, “Who are these guys again?”“Roland Rawlings and Joseph, something, I forget his last name. They're in Tau Sigma Omicron, I think. I'm in their Astrophysics study group. I guess that's why they invited me to their Oktoberfest party. I can't think of any other reason. I'm certainly not interested in pledging any frats. I don't have that kind of money anyway.”Briona nodded. “Well, I don't know them, but Tau Sigma has a good reputation. If you were pledging, you could do worse. Though Delta Delta is the one that most of the guys in the science department belong to. They have an excellent academics record.”Troy grinned mischievously, saying, “Yeah, but the real question is, does Tau Sigma have a sister sorority, and do they like to fuck nerds?”Briona roared like a lion and started snapping her teeth at him. “I told you to stop it, you dirty little boy! Don't make me bite you!”He stuck his tongue out at her so she leapt on top of him like a jungle cat. I watched them roughhouse with a smile on my face. Troy was much bigger and stronger than her, but he let her pin him with only minimal resistance. That's one of the ways I knew he was smitten with her. She'd literally tamed him. It was really kind of cute.Still straddling Troy, Briona turned to me and said, “No, really, Hans, you ought to go. You don't have anything better to do tonight, do you?”I shrugged. “No, but I don't have a costume. Everyone's supposed to dress up like Germans.”Troy said, “Well, you're German, aren't you? Just go as yourself.”“My grandpa's from Austria, but I don't think that counts as a costume.”Briona smiled, “Oh hey, there's that costume store over in that strip mall next to the Wendy's. I bet they're open for another hour or two. You should run over there and, here, ” She reached into her pocket and pulled out her wallet, then took out sixty dollars, “Go rent a costume.”I put my hand up, “No, no. I can't take your money.”She hopped off Troy and pressed the money into my hands. “Consider it a loan, Hansie. Pay me back when you can.”I looked at the money, and my heart started to beat hard. I'd never gone to a real party before. Or at least not one at a cool fraternity, which I just knew would be chock full of eligible women getting drunk off their asses. I didn't know what to say, but Briona just pulled me off my bed and pushed me toward the door, saying, “You better hurry up before they close! Scoot!”Troy shouted from his bed. “Yeah, get out of here, loser, so I can fuck my girlfriend!”As she was closing the door behind me, I heard her saying to Troy, “Okay mister. You've officially pissed me off. Now you're gonna get bit!”I stood in that hallway for a few minutes, listening to her jungle-cat roars turn into orgasmic groans as they attacked each other in my room, perhaps even on my very bed. It made my cock stir with lust. Since it was unlikely they'd ever do it while I was ‘sleeping' again, eavesdropping at my dorm room door might be the closest I'd ever get. But as fun it was to listen to Briona's dirty talk, her money was burning a hole in my hand, and I knew she'd expect me to have a story to show for it, so I dragged myself away from her beautiful moans, and sweet obscenities.By the time I'd walked to the costume shop, the sun was already setting, and they were just about to close. But the man let me in and showed me his selection of Bavarian costumes. Most of them were cheap, mass-manufactured Halloween costumes, but one was really quite authentic. I should know. I'd been dragged to my fair share of polkas and Oktoberfest celebrations when I was a kid. My parents were proud of their Austrian ancestry, so I could tell an authentic outfit when I saw one. It wasn't cheap, but Briona's money, added to my own pitiful stash, added up to just barely enough to rent it, along with an oversized plastic stein. That was all the money I had for the rest of the month, but I figured, if I'm going to look like a fool, I might as well do it in style. Besides, if I impress those guys, maybe they'll invite me to another party.As I was trying it on, the shop owner said, “You're lucky you're not a woman. A bunch of girls came in here earlier and rented all the Bavarian dresses in the place. Hey, you know what? I bet they're going to the same party as you.” I shrugged, barely hearing him. I was distracted by my own reflection in the mirror. I looked exactly like my grandfather. There was photo of him hanging on our wall back home which was taken when he was a boy in Austria, wearing a costume that was freakishly similar to this: a pair of dark brown lederhosen with suspenders, high socks embroidered with ducks and edelweiss flowers, a loose white peasant shirt and a blue cap with a long feather sticking out the top. My god, I was the spitting image of my grandfather.Suddenly I flashed on the old man. He was the most rakish, hearty, balls-to-the-wall man I'd ever met. He could have eaten ten Troys for breakfast and still had room for seven Brad Pitts. When Grandpa came into a room, everybody smiled. He flirted with all the ladies, even his own relatives, and made every man his buddy. He was amazing, and lived life to the fullest, right up to the very end. I hooked my thumbs in my suspenders, just as he was doing in that old photograph, and grinned, trying to make my eyes twinkle just like his. Damn. I looked more like him than ever. And then I remembered that he had a pockmarked face too. I'd never thought about it before, but he must have had acne as a teenager, the same as me! But he hadn't let that stop him from being a man, and damn it all, I wasn't gonna let it stop me either!I walked proudly to Fraternity Row, dressed in my costume, ignoring the catcalls from passers-by. No, scratch that. I didn't ignore them. Whenever someone laughed or shouted out some obscenity at me, I raised my fake German stein and shouted, “Oktoberfest!” at the top of my lungs, and their jeers turned instantly into cheers. I felt almost as if I was channeling my grandfather's spirit. But I didn't believe in any sort of afterlife, so I knew that my grandfather's spirit didn't exist. No. If anything, it was my grandfather's DNA coursing through my blood, which gave me the gumption to act as if I was the man I wanted to be. That, and the long feather in my cap.I charged into that party as if I owned the place, and stomped all the way into the middle of the room on my big, loud boots. That's when I noticed that I was the only person in sight wearing a costume of any kind. Then I saw the assholes who'd invited me; laughing their asses off. My heart sank, and my cheeks burned bright red. I'd thought I'd left this kind of crap behind me in high school. But I was wrong. You never get too old for a pair of snotty assholes to make you feel like a fool. I refused to give them the pleasure of seeing my embarrassment, so I just smiled and waved, proud of my Bavarian heritage and culture.I was about to make a humiliating retreat from this frat party when I realized, much to my delight, that I wasn't alone. Six freshmen girls, dressed in sexy little Bavarian dresses, filed through the door, drawing fresh gouts of laughter from the assembly. Now I knew who'd rented all the female costumes from the store! Most of the girls looked utterly embarrassed, but one of the girls was shining with confidence. Her sky-blue eyes caught sight of me and a broad grin spread out on her stunningly beautiful, copper-colored face. I'd seen her around the Science Building, but I didn't know her name. All I knew was that she was a freshman, and insanely hot. I considered her so far out of my league that I didn't even daydream about asking her out.She was simply stunning to behold, her lovely tits were perfectly displayed in the snug bodice. Her figure was looking scrumptious, particularly as she made her way through the crowd toward me, smiling from ear to ear. As she came closer, I realized that her costume was the female match for mine. They had the same brown, green and blue fabrics, the same embroidered socks. But instead of the lederhosen and suspenders my costume had, she was wearing a traditional dirndl, which was comprised of a brown skirt, a big green apron, a puffy white blouse, and a bodice with a low front, which was pushing her ample breasts up into a startling display of feminine pulchritude. I mean, this chick's cleavage was epic, and it was wiggling about wonderfully as she clomped toward me in her polka shoes. Her wavy dark brown hair was braided into two long braids that were framing her tits marvelously.Coincidence was once again rearing its ugly head, but this time it seemed to be working in my favor!She shouted in a fake German accent, “Liebchen! Vere haff you been? I've been vorried schick about you!”Then she gave me a big hug and a quick kiss on the lips. I was stunned. That was literally the first kiss of my life, and even though she meant it as a joke, my heart did a total flip flop in my chest, and tingles shot down my spine! Then she took my hand in hers and pulled me toward the other costumed girls, all of whom were adorable, each in their own way. “Come vit me, liebchen. I vant you to meet my freundins!” The girls laughed when they saw that I was wearing the male match of their friend's dirndl. “Girls, girls, I vant you to meet mein freund, Helmutt von Wiener.”Continued in Part Two,Based on a post by CBSummers, for Literotica

Stell dir vor: Du stehst im Bademantel im Fitness-Center und plötzlich kommt der US-Präsident rein! Er hat es erlebt. Big, bigger, Bits & Pretzels. Es sind eben immer die Gäste, die einen Event richtig groß machen. Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kevin Spacey, Jessica Alba oder Sir Richard Branson. Sie alle waren hier schon live on stage. Gestartet 2014 als kleines Oktoberfest-Frühstück. Heute international führende Konferenz für Start-Ups, Netzwerker und Investoren. Ab 29. September ist es in München wieder so weit. Dann geht er zusammen mit seinen Co-Founder in Lederhosen auf die Bühne und begrüßt 7500 Game-Changer aus der ganzen Welt: Felix Haas, einer der wichtigsten Köpfe der Tech-Branche. Einer, der schon mit 16 seine erste Company gebaut hat. Seine Karriere: Studium an der TUM, Zürich, Stanford, Silicon Valley. Gerade hat er einen 300 Millionen Dollar Exit gemacht. Als Angel Investor ist er in über 200 Start-Ups beteilgt. Ich habe ihn im Bits & Pretzels Headquarter In München besucht. Seine wichtigsten Learnings: Warum Founder jetzt radikal neu denken müssen? Warum Timing wichtiger ist als Kapital Und wie man es schafft, einen Elevator Pitch bei Barack Obama zu landen? Das alles jetzt in TOMorrow und als TOMorrow Videopodcast bei YouTube.

Non alcoholic drinks are huge right now.  So who needs Oktoberfest when you could go to Mocktoberfest!? 

Eingeladen zur 800-Jahr-Feier München stand der Autor Oskar Maria Graf, eingeflogen aus dem amerikanischen Exil, am Flughafen Riem. Von der Stadt München war keiner gekommen, um ihn zu empfangen. Daraufhin beschloss Graf in kurzen Lederhosn auf der Bühne des Cuvillies-Theaters zu lesen.

In Whitestown, Indiana, just outside Indianapolis, this small-town lager brewery has made big waves with multiple World Beer Cup golds for its märzen, Follow the Lederhosen—not to mention a WBC silver for its pale Skool House Bock, knockout scores (https://beerandbrewing.com/beer-reviews/?q=moontown&hPP=30&idx=dato_cbb_web_review_search&p=0) from Craft Beer & Brewing Magazine® judges, and five GABF medals for various lagers. However, Moontown's (https://www.moontownbeer.com) success is a story of working within the confines of their two-vessel system to find processes that produce the flavors they want. Step-mashing is a must, and their mashout decoction—while not a traditional one, by any means—gives them an extra nudge of flavor and attenuation. In this episode, director of brewing operations Cody Peczkowski talks about the deep influence of his experience brewing for the Gordon Biersch chain, and the how his approach to recipe design has developed in the ensuing years. Along the way, he touches on: focusing on premium ingredients for better beer step-mashing a hazy IPA adjusting the step-mash regimen for body or better attenuation using a mashout decoction process on their two-vessel brewhouse brewing two different märzens with different origin malts, including both German and American craft malts bunging rather than spunding tanks managing competition beers that are “too hoppy” bringing alcohol levels down in malt-forward lager taking a hop-forward approach to West Coast–style pils asking the question, “What would Gordon Biersch do?” And more. This episode is brought to you by: G&D Chillers (https://gdchillers.com): For years G&D Chillers has chilled the beers you love, partnering with 3,000+ breweries across North America and beyond. With our 24/7 service and support, your brewery will never stop. Remote monitor your chiller for simple and fast access to all the information you need, and gain peace of mind your operation is running smoothly. Berkeley Yeast (https://berkeleyyeast.com). Berkeley Yeast bioengineers ordinary strains and make them extraordinary—enhancing the flavors you want and eliminating the ones you don't. Visit berkeleyyeast.com to learn more and start brewing with science on your side. Old Orchard (https://www.oldorchard.com/brewer): As breweries expand beyond beer into other segments like mocktails and CBD beverages, Old Orchard is here to help. We can formulate custom blends featuring specialty ingredients. More information and free samples are waiting at oldorchard.com/brewer. Indie Hops (https://indiehops.com) Celebrating 16 years of delivering compelling new hop varieties along with classics that thrive in Oregon's terroir, Indie is the original source for Strata, Luminosa, Lórien, Meridian, and their newest variety Audacia. Release your creativity with the magic of pure, uncut Oregon hops from Indie. Indie Hops — Life is short. Let's make it flavorful. XTRATUF (https://xtratuf.com) XTRATUF has been making rugged and reliable boots for 75 years. Built for the harshest conditions, the Legacy Collection styles are oil, acid, and chemical resistant with a non-slip rated outsole. Be prepared for whatever comes your way and shop the latest XTRATUF boots on xtratuf.com. Hyperboost from Yakima Chief Hops (https://www.yakimachief.com) HyperBoost is a smarter dry hop solution that delivers bold, variety specific aroma and flavor you trust while cutting down on shipping, storage and waste. Try Yakima Chief Hops' Efficiency Calculator tool at yakimachief.com. Brewery Workshop (https://breweryworkshop.com) If you're launching a brewery or acquiring an existing one, consider our brewery workshop and new brewery accelerator, September 14 through 17th in Fort Collins, Colorado. Over four days, we engage in panel discussions, technical brewery tours, networking, and small working group sessions that help you better understand and prepare for the challenges of brewery operation. Tickets are on sale now.

Dave's Journey Back To Nature: Part 3Jill, Mike, and Penny Contrive a publicity plan.Based on posts by Big galoot, in 6 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.On Thursday, Geri phoned. She spoke with Muriel for a while before being handed back to me,"How you doing?" Geri asked."Good. A strangely odd week, very hard for poor Muriel; but we're getting there.""How's the resort looking, have you got many bookings.""I think there's a couple for this weekend and Suzi and I are going to sort out the chalets tomorrow for them. A few more next weekend, after that I don't know, why?"" Remember I said I'd ask around, see if anyone had any ideas.""Yes.""Well Freddy Spencer, one of my old chums from the Arundel Naturist Resort, is now the editor of H & E magazine."Geri sounded really excited but I didn't know what she was talking about."H & E magazine is like the naturist bible, it's run for and by naturists.""Ok and?" I pressed."Well, like me, Freddy has some fond memories of coming down there with his parents. They were lovely, innocent, naked days,""That's great, but how does that help us now?""Well Freddy would like to come and do an article about the place, promote it as a fun, welcoming place to be. He says he'll give us a four page spread, and if we can make it look fun, with a good mixture of young and old, then it should do wonders for the resort's image and bookings.""Sounds great but how are we going to do it, there's very few people booked in for the next few weeks.""They normally use professional, perfect models for their shoots, but I think we can make it more real, more natural.""How so.""I've volunteered myself, Mary, you and Suzi to be models, I'm was also thinking about Muriel, but with Jim passing away I don't know."Fine for me, Suzi or Geri, But I could never see Mary agreeing. "What doe's Mary think of it?""I haven't told her yet."I found myself shaking my head and laughing. "Good luck with that."I told Muriel about it, and she was over the moon! Her spirits immediately lifted, chattering away about where we could take the photos and such.There was a knock at the door and I said I'd get it. Mike Squires and his wife, Penny, were standing there along with two other neighbors; come to show their condolences.When the visitors entered the living room, Muriel seemed pleased as she stood to greet them."So good of you all, to come over."To make ourselves useful; Suzi and I asked if anyone wanted tea,"Maybe something a bit stronger?" Muriel said.Everyone had a drink and they were having a good old natter, telling stories about Jim and 'the good old days'.We just sat and enjoyed listening, keeping everyone's glasses topped up. The conversation eventually got around to Muriel's plans for the future and for the holiday resort."Well I hope to keep it running, although my bookings are way down on previous years. But these two lovely young people are going to help, so we might manage.""Yes; I met Dave and Suzi the other day and the place is already looking better." Mike said, smiling at Suzi.Penny, Mikes wife, said; "It's the village festival, in two weeks, you've never really been involved before; but why don't you take a booth, this year, handing out fliers and letting people know about the place. With these two good-looking ones working here, you're bound to get a good response." I think she was looking at me, the same way Mike looked at Suzi, but I could be wrong."Hold on old girl, Muriel's probably got her hands full, what with making arrangements and such.""I think it's a wonderful idea, give me something to look forward to, and all publicity helps.""Well, if it's publicity you want, then I have an idea." We all turned to look at Jill, another neighbor who had hardly said a word since she arrived, concentrating on drinking Gin instead.Jill seemed happy with her audience and continued "Well this is a nudist resort isn't it?"Muriel nodded. "Well then what you have to do is something involving nudity."We were all just looking at her, waiting for her to continue. Once she managed to get her words straight in her head, she said; "I was reading about a village somewhere that has a Lady Godiva festival, very popular as you can imagine. Anyway, I was thinking that you could do something similar, maybe have someone ride nude through the village and into the festival center. The press would love it, maybe even the nationals."Mike was the first to say anything, "that's a bit much, I don't think the parish council would allow it.""Well, I'm on the parish council, and I think it's a marvelous idea." Penny said.We all looked at Muriel, who was just smiling; "I think it's wonderful."We all smiled, as much at Muriel's joy, as anything else. The talk soon got around to practicalities. Mike stared at Suzi as he asked, who could we get to play the lead role."I'll think of someone." Was all Muriel would say.I wasn't saying much, but an idea was starting to form in my head."Why don't we do something a bit different?" I blurted out. Everyone looked at me. "I know traditionally there was only one Lady Godiva, but why don't we have two, think up some silly reason for it. It'll definitely give us more bang for our money."I actually had a fully formed plan in my head, but didn't want to give all the details. I could see peoples' faces, thinking about what I had said."It could be interesting." Muriel said"I have two lovely mares we could use." Chipped in Mike.The chatter drifted off into matter s of Jim's funeral, and eventually it got late.When everyone had left, the three of us were sitting on the sofa."That was an interesting evening, what with H & E coming, and now Lady Godiva. I'm quite dizzy from it all." Muriel said.Suzi was looking at me and said, "I can see the cogs whirling. What are you thinking?""Lots of things. We need to decide who will be in the magazine pictures and I have a few ideas for Lady Godiva.""I bet you do.""Not what you're thinking. Things can't be too explicit, no worse than you might see on in some newspapers.""And?" Suzi pressed."Well, my idea would be to have a younger and an old Lady Godiva; hopefully you and Muriel." I stopped talking, letting my idea sink in, and waiting for reactions.Muriel was the first to respond, Suzi possibly a bit taken aback."Oh how exciting, there's a few in the village who have always disapproved of me, it'll give me a chance to rub their noses in it. What about you Suzi?""I don't know. I don't think I could, and besides I can't ride a horse.""Well we have two weeks to practice and I'm sure Mike would enjoy giving you lessons." Muriel said this with a glint in her eye and a small, knowing grin."Is there something we should know?" I asked, a smile on my face, knowing that whatever Muriel told us would be juicy."Well you'd never guess, looking at them now; but when Mike and Penny were younger they were wild, spending weekends over here, getting stoned and shagging. I don't think they ever considered themselves hippies like the rest of us. They just enjoyed the drugs and the sex. Then Mike took over the farm and they got married. They became respectable."I could sense there was more, and urged her to carry on."Over the years Mike has been a frequent visitor, ostensibly on the pretense of being neighborly, but really to see if there were any naked women he could stare at. I'm sure you made his day if not his year when he met you on Sunday."Muriel, for once, looked a little sheepish, before continuing "he would often come in the mornings when I was out for my walks and over the years we've developed a little thing.""A little thing?" I inquired.Muriel smiled, obviously wondering how much to tell us, but then decided to change the subject.Riding Like Godiva."I think you'd make a wonderful Lady Godiva, Suzi. And if you're very shy, I'm sure we can do something with your hair.""With my hair?""Yes, we can comb it so that it covers your boobs."Suzi didn't look convinced."Right, come over here and I'll show you what I mean."Both Muriel and Suzi stood up."Take your clothes off and we'll use this round ottoman as our pretend horse. Here, let me roll up a beach towel for you to place against your cunny. It's what a saddle will feel like. Plus, it'll keep this upholstery from smelling like a hussy's pussy."Suzi looked a little uncertain, but removed her jeans and t-shirt, hesitating before removing her bra, and going to sit on the ottoman."No-no, knickers as well. I want you to see how little you'll be exposing."I was enjoying the show, a raging boner in my pants and a smile on my face. When Suzi removed her knickers Muriel told her to sit astride the ottoman.Suzi sat straddling over the rolled up beach towel, facing me, spreading her legs as wide as possible, fully exposing her very moist-looking bald pussy. She was enjoying this as much as me."Now David I want you to get that thick sofa cushion and place it upwards, in front of Suzi, we'll pretend it's the horses head."As I did this Muriel was playing with Suzi's hair, bringing it over her shoulder and laying it over her boobs, the back of her hand rubbing against her nipples and causing Suzi to gasp and Muriel to smile. I was entranced and very turned on by the Suzi's nakedness, and Muriel fussing over her. My trance was only broken by Muriel's voice."Now David, come and have a look here."I moved to the back of the ottoman, beside Muriel. "All we can see is a little bit of your crack and when you're high up on the horse no one will see that, now bounce up and down for us as if the horse is moving."Suzi did as told, and it was a lovely sight, her cheeks flexing and fleeting glimpses of her puckered hole. Both Muriel and I were admiring the sight, when Suzi said, "my hair has fallen off of my boobs, we'll have to stick it down somehow."It sounded like Suzi had decided she'll do it. Muriel and I smiled at each other. "I'm sure we'll find something to keep it in place." Muriel said, smiling some more as she watched Suzi continue to bounce up and down."You can a slowly rock your hips, as if the horse is slowly walking, if you like.""Oh, this feels nice." Suzi said as she began grinding her crotch down on the plush terrycloth.Suzi was getting herself off on the cushioned ottoman. Her legs were spread wide, grinding herself against the roll. I felt my mouth going dry as I watched. Her hip action sped up as she worked herself into a frenzy. I felt Muriel rubbing my cock through my trousers. As I looked at the matriarch, she moved her other hand down to Suzi's tit. From Suzi's immediate groans, I guessed Muriel was pinching her nipple. I moved down behind Suzi, on the ottoman, kissing her neck and putting my hand on her other boob, squeezing it roughly and pinching the nipple."Oh god, this feels so good, pinch harder; oh, ah, ah, I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come." Suzi had stopped rocking, instead just pushing down harder and grinding her pelvis slowly. She shuddered as her orgasm ripped through her.I was astride the ottoman, holding Suzi and cuddling her from behind. Muriel was now in front, bending down and kissing her, Suzi's arms went up to Muriel's face returning her kisses with a passion. Both my hands pressed into Suzi's tits, while I kissed the back of her neck.As her breathing settled she gave a throaty laugh, "I think I've soiled your towel." We all laughed."He's a lovely horse, would you like a go?" Suzi offered the mount to Muriel.Muriel smiled and began to undress and as we watched. Suzi leaned back into me and said, "take your clothes off."I stripped rapidly, ripping off my t-shirt and jeans, Muriel took her time as we both watched her, the undoing of each button of her shirt drawn out exquisitely, her eyes alive and her smile teasing, as she watched us staring at her. I wish I could've seen Suzi's face, I imagine she was as transfixed as me.Muriel and I were now both standing naked. As Suzi went to stand, Muriel placed her hand gently on her shoulder, urging her to remain seated. Suzi looked around at me and nearly got poked in the eye, smiling and shaking her head, as if, 'watch where you pock that spear'.Muriel moved in closer and pulled my head to hers, in a kiss. This caused Suzi to be wedged between us. It was obvious where Suzi's head was, and what Muriel was hoping she would do. I had to see. I broke our kiss and looked down at Suzi, her head bobbing slightly and her face buried in Muriel's muff, and my cock bobbing next to her ear 'Wow'.Muriel's nipples stood out long and hard; and looked very inviting, I was going to suck them but then had the urge to bite. Muriel let out a yelp and grabbed my hair, pulling it hard but pulling me in closer as she did so. I applied more pressure and put my hand on her ass. My fingers slid between her cheeks, searching for whatever hole they could find. After a bit I stepped back behind Suzi and pushed my cock against the back of Suzi's head, and pulled Muriel closer at the same time, before releasing. I repeated and the girls caught on straight away as we found a rhythm. Me humping Suzi's head as her face fucked Muriel's cunny.

Dave's Journey Back To Nature: Part 3Jill, Mike, and Penny Contrive a publicity plan.Based on posts by Big galoot, in 6 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.On Thursday, Geri phoned. She spoke with Muriel for a while before being handed back to me,"How you doing?" Geri asked."Good. A strangely odd week, very hard for poor Muriel; but we're getting there.""How's the resort looking, have you got many bookings.""I think there's a couple for this weekend and Suzi and I are going to sort out the chalets tomorrow for them. A few more next weekend, after that I don't know, why?"" Remember I said I'd ask around, see if anyone had any ideas.""Yes.""Well Freddy Spencer, one of my old chums from the Arundel Naturist Resort, is now the editor of H & E magazine."Geri sounded really excited but I didn't know what she was talking about."H & E magazine is like the naturist bible, it's run for and by naturists.""Ok and?" I pressed."Well, like me, Freddy has some fond memories of coming down there with his parents. They were lovely, innocent, naked days,""That's great, but how does that help us now?""Well Freddy would like to come and do an article about the place, promote it as a fun, welcoming place to be. He says he'll give us a four page spread, and if we can make it look fun, with a good mixture of young and old, then it should do wonders for the resort's image and bookings.""Sounds great but how are we going to do it, there's very few people booked in for the next few weeks.""They normally use professional, perfect models for their shoots, but I think we can make it more real, more natural.""How so.""I've volunteered myself, Mary, you and Suzi to be models, I'm was also thinking about Muriel, but with Jim passing away I don't know."Fine for me, Suzi or Geri, But I could never see Mary agreeing. "What doe's Mary think of it?""I haven't told her yet."I found myself shaking my head and laughing. "Good luck with that."I told Muriel about it, and she was over the moon! Her spirits immediately lifted, chattering away about where we could take the photos and such.There was a knock at the door and I said I'd get it. Mike Squires and his wife, Penny, were standing there along with two other neighbors; come to show their condolences.When the visitors entered the living room, Muriel seemed pleased as she stood to greet them."So good of you all, to come over."To make ourselves useful; Suzi and I asked if anyone wanted tea,"Maybe something a bit stronger?" Muriel said.Everyone had a drink and they were having a good old natter, telling stories about Jim and 'the good old days'.We just sat and enjoyed listening, keeping everyone's glasses topped up. The conversation eventually got around to Muriel's plans for the future and for the holiday resort."Well I hope to keep it running, although my bookings are way down on previous years. But these two lovely young people are going to help, so we might manage.""Yes; I met Dave and Suzi the other day and the place is already looking better." Mike said, smiling at Suzi.Penny, Mikes wife, said; "It's the village festival, in two weeks, you've never really been involved before; but why don't you take a booth, this year, handing out fliers and letting people know about the place. With these two good-looking ones working here, you're bound to get a good response." I think she was looking at me, the same way Mike looked at Suzi, but I could be wrong."Hold on old girl, Muriel's probably got her hands full, what with making arrangements and such.""I think it's a wonderful idea, give me something to look forward to, and all publicity helps.""Well, if it's publicity you want, then I have an idea." We all turned to look at Jill, another neighbor who had hardly said a word since she arrived, concentrating on drinking Gin instead.Jill seemed happy with her audience and continued "Well this is a nudist resort isn't it?"Muriel nodded. "Well then what you have to do is something involving nudity."We were all just looking at her, waiting for her to continue. Once she managed to get her words straight in her head, she said; "I was reading about a village somewhere that has a Lady Godiva festival, very popular as you can imagine. Anyway, I was thinking that you could do something similar, maybe have someone ride nude through the village and into the festival center. The press would love it, maybe even the nationals."Mike was the first to say anything, "that's a bit much, I don't think the parish council would allow it.""Well, I'm on the parish council, and I think it's a marvelous idea." Penny said.We all looked at Muriel, who was just smiling; "I think it's wonderful."We all smiled, as much at Muriel's joy, as anything else. The talk soon got around to practicalities. Mike stared at Suzi as he asked, who could we get to play the lead role."I'll think of someone." Was all Muriel would say.I wasn't saying much, but an idea was starting to form in my head."Why don't we do something a bit different?" I blurted out. Everyone looked at me. "I know traditionally there was only one Lady Godiva, but why don't we have two, think up some silly reason for it. It'll definitely give us more bang for our money."I actually had a fully formed plan in my head, but didn't want to give all the details. I could see peoples' faces, thinking about what I had said."It could be interesting." Muriel said"I have two lovely mares we could use." Chipped in Mike.The chatter drifted off into matter s of Jim's funeral, and eventually it got late.When everyone had left, the three of us were sitting on the sofa."That was an interesting evening, what with H & E coming, and now Lady Godiva. I'm quite dizzy from it all." Muriel said.Suzi was looking at me and said, "I can see the cogs whirling. What are you thinking?""Lots of things. We need to decide who will be in the magazine pictures and I have a few ideas for Lady Godiva.""I bet you do.""Not what you're thinking. Things can't be too explicit, no worse than you might see on in some newspapers.""And?" Suzi pressed."Well, my idea would be to have a younger and an old Lady Godiva; hopefully you and Muriel." I stopped talking, letting my idea sink in, and waiting for reactions.Muriel was the first to respond, Suzi possibly a bit taken aback."Oh how exciting, there's a few in the village who have always disapproved of me, it'll give me a chance to rub their noses in it. What about you Suzi?""I don't know. I don't think I could, and besides I can't ride a horse.""Well we have two weeks to practice and I'm sure Mike would enjoy giving you lessons." Muriel said this with a glint in her eye and a small, knowing grin."Is there something we should know?" I asked, a smile on my face, knowing that whatever Muriel told us would be juicy."Well you'd never guess, looking at them now; but when Mike and Penny were younger they were wild, spending weekends over here, getting stoned and shagging. I don't think they ever considered themselves hippies like the rest of us. They just enjoyed the drugs and the sex. Then Mike took over the farm and they got married. They became respectable."I could sense there was more, and urged her to carry on."Over the years Mike has been a frequent visitor, ostensibly on the pretense of being neighborly, but really to see if there were any naked women he could stare at. I'm sure you made his day if not his year when he met you on Sunday."Muriel, for once, looked a little sheepish, before continuing "he would often come in the mornings when I was out for my walks and over the years we've developed a little thing.""A little thing?" I inquired.Muriel smiled, obviously wondering how much to tell us, but then decided to change the subject.Riding Like Godiva."I think you'd make a wonderful Lady Godiva, Suzi. And if you're very shy, I'm sure we can do something with your hair.""With my hair?""Yes, we can comb it so that it covers your boobs."Suzi didn't look convinced."Right, come over here and I'll show you what I mean."Both Muriel and Suzi stood up."Take your clothes off and we'll use this round ottoman as our pretend horse. Here, let me roll up a beach towel for you to place against your cunny. It's what a saddle will feel like. Plus, it'll keep this upholstery from smelling like a hussy's pussy."Suzi looked a little uncertain, but removed her jeans and t-shirt, hesitating before removing her bra, and going to sit on the ottoman."No-no, knickers as well. I want you to see how little you'll be exposing."I was enjoying the show, a raging boner in my pants and a smile on my face. When Suzi removed her knickers Muriel told her to sit astride the ottoman.Suzi sat straddling over the rolled up beach towel, facing me, spreading her legs as wide as possible, fully exposing her very moist-looking bald pussy. She was enjoying this as much as me."Now David I want you to get that thick sofa cushion and place it upwards, in front of Suzi, we'll pretend it's the horses head."As I did this Muriel was playing with Suzi's hair, bringing it over her shoulder and laying it over her boobs, the back of her hand rubbing against her nipples and causing Suzi to gasp and Muriel to smile. I was entranced and very turned on by the Suzi's nakedness, and Muriel fussing over her. My trance was only broken by Muriel's voice."Now David, come and have a look here."I moved to the back of the ottoman, beside Muriel. "All we can see is a little bit of your crack and when you're high up on the horse no one will see that, now bounce up and down for us as if the horse is moving."Suzi did as told, and it was a lovely sight, her cheeks flexing and fleeting glimpses of her puckered hole. Both Muriel and I were admiring the sight, when Suzi said, "my hair has fallen off of my boobs, we'll have to stick it down somehow."It sounded like Suzi had decided she'll do it. Muriel and I smiled at each other. "I'm sure we'll find something to keep it in place." Muriel said, smiling some more as she watched Suzi continue to bounce up and down."You can a slowly rock your hips, as if the horse is slowly walking, if you like.""Oh, this feels nice." Suzi said as she began grinding her crotch down on the plush terrycloth.Suzi was getting herself off on the cushioned ottoman. Her legs were spread wide, grinding herself against the roll. I felt my mouth going dry as I watched. Her hip action sped up as she worked herself into a frenzy. I felt Muriel rubbing my cock through my trousers. As I looked at the matriarch, she moved her other hand down to Suzi's tit. From Suzi's immediate groans, I guessed Muriel was pinching her nipple. I moved down behind Suzi, on the ottoman, kissing her neck and putting my hand on her other boob, squeezing it roughly and pinching the nipple."Oh god, this feels so good, pinch harder; oh, ah, ah, I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come." Suzi had stopped rocking, instead just pushing down harder and grinding her pelvis slowly. She shuddered as her orgasm ripped through her.I was astride the ottoman, holding Suzi and cuddling her from behind. Muriel was now in front, bending down and kissing her, Suzi's arms went up to Muriel's face returning her kisses with a passion. Both my hands pressed into Suzi's tits, while I kissed the back of her neck.As her breathing settled she gave a throaty laugh, "I think I've soiled your towel." We all laughed."He's a lovely horse, would you like a go?" Suzi offered the mount to Muriel.Muriel smiled and began to undress and as we watched. Suzi leaned back into me and said, "take your clothes off."I stripped rapidly, ripping off my t-shirt and jeans, Muriel took her time as we both watched her, the undoing of each button of her shirt drawn out exquisitely, her eyes alive and her smile teasing, as she watched us staring at her. I wish I could've seen Suzi's face, I imagine she was as transfixed as me.Muriel and I were now both standing naked. As Suzi went to stand, Muriel placed her hand gently on her shoulder, urging her to remain seated. Suzi looked around at me and nearly got poked in the eye, smiling and shaking her head, as if, 'watch where you pock that spear'.Muriel moved in closer and pulled my head to hers, in a kiss. This caused Suzi to be wedged between us. It was obvious where Suzi's head was, and what Muriel was hoping she would do. I had to see. I broke our kiss and looked down at Suzi, her head bobbing slightly and her face buried in Muriel's muff, and my cock bobbing next to her ear 'Wow'.Muriel's nipples stood out long and hard; and looked very inviting, I was going to suck them but then had the urge to bite. Muriel let out a yelp and grabbed my hair, pulling it hard but pulling me in closer as she did so. I applied more pressure and put my hand on her ass. My fingers slid between her cheeks, searching for whatever hole they could find. After a bit I stepped back behind Suzi and pushed my cock against the back of Suzi's head, and pulled Muriel closer at the same time, before releasing. I repeated and the girls caught on straight away as we found a rhythm. Me humping Suzi's head as her face fucked Muriel's cunny.

"Let's just say there's Lederhosen involved Alison!"The very entertaining Sean Lally and his wife Elaine describe their latest video on their socials. They have embraced comedy so brilliantly that they've accumulated millions of views in their hilarious videos! The dynamic duo behind Hotel Woodstock in Clare are winners of the prestigious Gold Hospitality Business Award for 2024 and say their personalized approach to welcoming guests has set them apart, making them favorites among visitors.The Family Business Awards 2025 take place on October 30th and TodayFM are media partners and our own Matt Cooper is the host of the awards again this year. If you would like to enter for The Family Business Awards 2025 the deadline for entries is - August 15th. – familybusinessawards.ie for more and follow Sean and Elaine @hotelwoodstock on you socials

In dieser Folge von IN VINO WER WIE WAS reisen wir ausnahmsweise nicht gen Westen – nicht an die Loire, ins Burgund oder nach Andalusien. Nein, diesmal zieht es uns in den Osten. Wir trinken Weine aus dem ganz nahen Osten – und das passt kulinarisch hervorragend zu unserem heutigen Gast. Sebastian Frank, einer der profiliertesten Köche im deutschsprachigen Raum, führt mit kompromissloser Handschrift das mit zwei Michelin-Sternen und 5 Hauben von Gault Millau ausgezeichnete Restaurant Horváth in Berlin-Kreuzberg. Seine Küche schöpft aus den Aromen Österreichs, reicht aber weit darüber hinaus – bis auf den Balkan und in Regionen, die kulinarisch oft übersehen werden. Es ist eine Folge voller Salz, Würze und geschmacklicher Tiefe. Und ja – auch voller unbequemer Wahrheiten über die Qualität österreichischer Restaurants in Berlin, über dreckige Speisekarten und ungewischte Tische. Sebastian Frank wuchs weit entfernt von Klischees wie Bergen, Lederhosen oder Jodeln auf. Er lernte das Küchenhandwerk im Hotel Wende in Neusiedl am See. Ende der 1990er-Jahre arbeitete er im Restaurant des Burgtheaters, danach im Vestibül und im vielfach ausgezeichneten Steirereck in Wien bei Heinz Reitbauer. Anschließend war er Souschef im Restaurant Chef's Table im Interalpen-Hotel Tyrol in Telfs. Im Mai 2010 wurde er Küchenchef im Horváth in Berlin-Kreuzberg und erhielt ein Jahr später den ersten Michelin-Stern. Mit 30 Jahren war er damit Berlins jüngster Sternekoch. Anfang 2014 übernahm er das Horváth gemeinsam mit seiner Frau Jeannine, 2016 folgte der zweite Michelin-Stern. 2018 wurde er auf der Madrid Fusión zum besten Koch Europas gewählt und erhielt darüber hinaus viele weitere Auszeichnungen. Er gilt als einer der profiliertesten Vertreter der österreichischen Küche in Berlin – bekannt für seinen eigenwilligen Stil, seine Vorliebe für Sellerie und seine kompromisslose Haltung zu Geschmack und Herkunft der Produkte. Sein Lieblingsort seit über 20 Jahren ist der Weyerhof in Bramberg am Wildkogel bei Kitzbühel – dort machte er seiner Frau den Heiratsantrag und heiratete sie auch. In Interviews beschreibt er seine Lieblingsspeise als Backhendl (aber nur mit Haut und von der Keule!). In Berlin würde er es allerdings nie bestellen. Bereits als Kind zeigte er ein ungewöhnliches Gespür für Ästhetik und Geschmack. Mit fünfeinhalb Jahren eingeschult, entschied er sich mit 14 für eine Kochkarriere – zur nüchternen Reaktion seiner Mutter. Er sagt selbst, dass er keine „Oma-Romantik“ pflegt: Er kocht besser als seine Großmutter, obwohl sie ihrer Zeit voraus war. Gutes Personalessen ist ihm wichtig, aber tägliche Knödel und Schnitzel würden für ihn die Magie rauben. Er ist ein Fan der arabischen Küche, und was Tischmanieren betrifft: Aus dem Alter, in dem man nicht mit vollem Mund spricht, sei er längst raus. Was sonst so passiert: -Umgedrehte Welt: Dietmar bringt einen Rosé mit! -Noch ungewöhnlicher: Sebastian Frank will sich davon direkt ein paar Flaschen kaufen! -Welt wieder normal: Nur damit er was zum "verballern" da hat falls Wein-Unkundige Leute vorbei kommen.

Hommage an das Schuhplatteln: Der Video- und Fotokünstler Nassermann / Ali Alhamwi: Rosserer und Dialekt-Bewahrer / Essen verbindet: Lasan Sumareh Touray und seine original bayerische Küche / Zielstrebigkeit und viel Geduld: Geigenbauer Jihoon Lee in Mittenwald / Die Tradition mit dem Heute auffüllen: Der Musiker Komalé Akakpo und die Wellbappn // Moderation: Özlem Sarikaya

In this week's Friday edition of That Peter Crouch Podcast, Crouchy, Chris, and Sids dive into the madness of managerial meltdowns, controversial club decisions, and the best kind of sh*thousery the Premier League has to offer.Chris unpacks the sacking of Tom Cleverley at Watford and the brutal cycle of losing the dressing room, before the boys weigh in on Trent Alexander-Arnold's now officially confirmed Real Madrid move, the emotional weight of leaving your boyhood club, and how it plays out among loyal fans.From wild predictions and Wolves' revival to Oktoberfest fantasies and Jamie Vardy's hilarious whistle blow, this is one to enjoy sat back with a Cognac - with your families very well regarded. Plus, there's a Gogglebox moment with Unai Emery watching the pod while prepping for match day… you've got to hear it to believe it.Chumbawamba 00:00 – Cognac Fridays begin with a bang00:58 – Tom Cleverley's Watford exit sparks emotional debate02:52 – Chris opens up on receiving a message from Tom during tough times06:01 – Trent's Real Madrid move – reactions from a Liverpool POV10:19 – Crouchy reflects on Trent's contribution to Liverpool's rise12:06 – Unai Emery watches the pod to prep for his match – wild moment15:32 – Jamie Vardy blows ref's whistle – tactical genius or foul play?16:52 – Oktoberfest plans - Peter Crouch in Lederhosen?20:25 – This week's predictions with plenty of twists30:01 – 100 seagulls vs 1 wolf debate33:12 – New forfeit ideas: Rename your house after the winner?!38:32 – Double-row van sighting: the Matrix of motor vehiclesFollow our Clips page https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLNBLB3xr3LyiyAkhZEtiAA For more Peter Crouch: Twitter - https://twitter.com/petercrouch Therapy Crouch - https://www.youtube.com/@thetherapycrouch For more Chris Stark Twitter - https://twitter.com/Chris_StarkInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisstark/For more Steve Sidwell Twitter - https://twitter.com/sjsidwell Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/stevesidwell14 #PeterCrouch #ThatPeterCrouchPodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Die Prawolschke-Zwillinge sind ganz schön frech. Ausgerechnet mit den beiden steht Oma plötzlich in der Tür. Mag Zärtel wirklich mit ihnen spielen? Sommerschlitten in Lederhosen? Aus der OHRENBÄR-Hörgeschichte: Zärtel Zwolski und die Grießbreischießer (Folge 2 von 6) von Kathrin Schmidt. Es liest: Carmen-Maja Antoni. ▶ Mehr Infos unter https://www.ohrenbaer.de & ohrenbaer@rbb-online.de

"Zieht den Bayern die Lederhosen aus!" So schallte es nach dem Sieg vom Bayer in Frankfurt durch das Waldstadion und genau das ist das Ziel in den beiden Spielen im Champions-League-Achtelfinale. Es geht um viel, aber die Fallhöhe für die Bayern ist unweigerlich größer als für uns. Wir haben eine riesige Chance und wollen sie nutzen. Lara, Nils und Kevin stimmen euch ein auf diese beiden Hammerspiele und schauen auch zurück auf die Siege in Kiel und Frankfurt, sprechen über die Pokalauslosung und das Halbfinal-Los Arminia Bielefeld und stellen fest, dass wir uns in einer besonderen Zeit befinden. Dazu gibts noch zwei ...Du möchtest deinen Podcast auch kostenlos hosten und damit Geld verdienen? Dann schaue auf www.kostenlos-hosten.de und informiere dich. Dort erhältst du alle Informationen zu unseren kostenlosen Podcast-Hosting-Angeboten. kostenlos-hosten.de ist ein Produkt der Podcastbude.Gern unterstützen wir dich bei deiner Podcast-Produktion.

Booing Canada, That One Time in Germany, Oktoberfest Records and Lederhosen

Der Bayer am Scheideweg zur Meisterschaft. Durch das Unentschieden in Wolfsburg sind es nun acht Punkte auf die Bayern, die aber am Samstag in die BayArena kommen. Heute vor einem Jahr haben wir ihnen die Lederhose ausgezogen und wir sagen: machts nochmal! Trotzdem gibts genug zu besprechen, denn fünf Spiele liegen wieder hinter uns, nicht alles lief glatt, deshalb ist es eine emotionalere Diskussion, die Lara, Nils und Kevin heute geführt haben. Trotzdem: bleibt positiv, gebt Gas und zieht den Bayern die Lederhosen aus, um nochmal richtig Druck zu machen und die Schale wieder nach Leverkusen zu holen. Viel Spaß mit der Ausgabe. Schickt ...Du möchtest deinen Podcast auch kostenlos hosten und damit Geld verdienen? Dann schaue auf www.kostenlos-hosten.de und informiere dich. Dort erhältst du alle Informationen zu unseren kostenlosen Podcast-Hosting-Angeboten. kostenlos-hosten.de ist ein Produkt der Podcastbude.Gern unterstützen wir dich bei deiner Podcast-Produktion.

Host Meg Wolitzer presents two stories in which some things are saved and some are left behind. In Haruki Murakami's “Lederhosen,” performed by Aasif Mandvi, the traditional German shorts become a singular obsession for one half of a married couple. In Elizabeth McCracken's “Robinson Crusoe at the Waterpark,” a couple and their son find themselves in over their heads. Mike Doyle is the reader.

Het moment waar iedereen van wist dat-ie zou komen: Maarten pakt zijn knipselmap er weer bij. Na het nietszeggende advies van zijn zus, overdondert hij Barbara met nietszeggende topografische vragen. Geïnspireerd op het koude Seefeld organiseert Eva een jodelcompetitie in de studio, waar Till en Anne niet enthousiast over blijken te zijn. JOEHIEE! In Zweden wordt Jan overvallen door freelance barber Willem, die na het zien van Jan zijn slaapkamer gelijk twijfels krijgt.Deze winter bespreken we dagelijks Winter vol Liefde. En elke week zijn we er ook met een weeksamenvatting met een speciale gast, exclusief op Podimo. Niet getreurd, je kunt 30 dagen helemaal gratis luisteren via podimo.nl/realitycheck.Heb jij een hot take, spannende achtergrondinformatie of wil je heel graag je mening met ons delen? Stuur ons dan een (voice)berichtje op instagram (@realitycheck_depodcast). Op onze Instagram & TikTok houden we 24/7 alles voor je in de gaten houden uit Reality-TV land.Productie: Eva Essers, Gijs Grimm, Bo CourantZie het privacybeleid op https://art19.com/privacy en de privacyverklaring van Californië op https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Noch nie war es so schwer einen Text für eine Folge des Sunset Club zu schreiben, dann leider ist die Tastatur unter einem Bach von Tränen nur schwer zu benutzen. Die Igel haben sich für den Winterschlaf in einem Blätterhaufen zusammen gerollt, die Klimmzug-Stange ist vorerst aus dem Türrahmen abmontiert, Dirndl und Lederhosen sind im Schrank verstaut und Jokos Rasen ist nun endlich winterfest. Ja, ihr habt richtig gehört, der Sunset Club macht seine Vereinstüren nur noch ein letztes Mal auf und schließlich wieder zu. Aber natürlich wird das Clubhaus für immer randvoll sein: mit lustigen Anekdoten, unglaublichen Geschichten, jeder Menge Emotionen und vor allem: ganz viel Liebe. Für die geilen Pfeile, die von Folge eins an einfach nur am Start waren, für die wunderbaren Gäste, die den Sunset Club besucht und um einiges reicher gemacht haben und der Liebe von Sophie und Joko füreinander. Denn was quasi als Blind Date begann, hat sich zu einer tiefen und innigen Verbindung entwickelt, voller unvergesslicher Momente und ganz vielen Abschieds-Zungenküssen. Und so sagen unsere beiden Main Pfeile ein letztes Mal “Willkommen im Sunset Club” und wollen euch natürlich nicht nur mit Sadness zurück lassen, sondern begeben sich ein letztes Mal in die Themen-Achterbahn - mit verschiedenen Faxen, fehlbaren Medienmännern, Katrin Bauerfeinds Pyjama und dem Trigger-Thema “lustiges Servicepersonal”. Und jetzt einmal alle - seufz - Dankeschön, auf Wiedersehen. Du möchtest mehr über unsere Werbepartner erfahren? Hier findest du alle Infos & Rabatte: https://linktr.ee/sunset_club

Willkommen im neuen Format. Hier kannst du auf ganz besondere Weise deine Aussprache und Lesen trainieren. Dafür haben wir uns einen ganz besonderen Text herausgesucht: Typisch Deutsch? Lernen mit uns Schritt für Schritt Wortschatz, einzelne Sätze und höre Texte in unterschiedlichen Sprechgeschwindigkeiten. Hier ist der Wortschatz aus der Folge: das Klischee   die Pünktlichkeit   das Vorurteil   die Vorschrift   die Brotsorte   der Aufschnitt   die Tracht   die Lederhosen   das Dirndl   das Fünkchen Wahrheit   Du brauchst das Transkript zur Folge? Oder du möchtest sogar mit unseren zahlreichen Trainingsbüchern weiterlernen? Schau unbedingt in unseren Premium-Kanal. Dort findest du exklusive Sonderfolgen, Trainingsbücher und auch ein spezielles Online-Lern-Programm: https://steadyhq.com/de/deutsch-podcast/about Ein Gratis-Trainingsbuch findest du unter: https://deutsch-podcast.com/gratis/ Weitere Infos findest du unter: www.deutsch-podcast.com

The Oktoberfest season is in full swing. All over Australia, people celebrate Bavarian culture with beer, pretzels and lederhosen until the end of the month. But the original folk festival broke up days ago. Why is it called Oktoberfest when it actually takes place in September? And what is the origin of the biggest folk festival in the world? We have the answers. - Die Oktoberfest-Saison ist in vollem Gange. Überall in Australien feiert man bis Ende des Monats mit Bier, Brezeln und Lederhosen die bayerische Kultur. Doch das ursprüngliche Volksfest hat seine Zelte schon vor Tagen abgebrochen. Warum heisst es denn Oktoberfest, wenn es eigentlich im September stattfindet? Und was ist der Ursprung des größten Volksfestes der Welt?

The lads are back with another rage filled deep dive into the past weeks top stories, and the very worst... You can follow the boys on Twitter. Mike is: @IROMG, Kevin is @TVKev and you'll find the podcast too: @ThoughtPoliceTP. Meanwhile if you'd like to send them an email, the address is: thoughtpolicepod@gmail.com

Here's a roundup of some exciting upcoming beer events and releases in Western New York. For more details or to share your news, email Brian@BuffaloBeerLeague.com or Scott@WNYBrews.com, and visit BuffaloBeerLeague.com. Be sure to check out the *WNY Brews* podcast for more insights into the WNY beer scene!**Pressure Drop and Ellicottville Brewing Announce New Partnership** After closing their Elmwood Avenue taproom and brew house, Pressure Drop Brewing has partnered with Ellicottville Brewing (EBC). According to EBC's Head of Brewery Operations, Dan Minner, the two breweries have collaborated on recipe development and ingredient sourcing to maintain the quality of Pressure Drop's beers. This partnership ensures Pressure Drop's beers will still be available at select retailers across WNY.**Mortalis Brewing Buffalo First Anniversary Party** Mortalis Brewing Buffalo will celebrate its first anniversary on Oct. 5 with live music, exclusive draft options (including specialty barrel-aged beers), beer flights, and draft specials all day. The event is free and kicks off at 3pm at 1250 Niagara St.**Tap & Craft Festival Returns** The third annual Tap & Craft Festival is set for Oct. 5 at the Niagara Falls Convention Center. Over 40 breweries, wineries, and cideries, including Mortalis, Other Half, Trillium, and more, will participate. The event also includes live music, food, and artisan vendors. General admission is $35, which includes unlimited samples and a commemorative tasting glass. VIP tickets offer additional perks. Get tickets at www.tapandcraft.com.**Woodcock Brothers Cocktoberfest** Woodcock Brothers Brewing's Cocktoberfest returns to the Wurlitzer Building in North Tonawanda on Oct. 5. Expect German food, live music, and the release of Cocktoberfest Lager. Lederhosen and German garb are encouraged for this free event, starting at 12pm.**Tim's Beer Show at Pizza Plant** On Oct. 16, Buffalo beer legend Tim Herzog will host *Tim's Beer Show* at Pizza Plant Transit. The tasting event, New York's longest-running beer event, features a unique sampling of 12 beers with Herzog providing insights into each. Tickets are $50 and include beer samples, breadsticks, and a tasting glass. They can be purchased at Pizza Plant or on Eventbrite.**Big Ditch Brewing Teams Up with YMCA Buffalo Niagara for Turkey Trot Beer** For the third consecutive year, Big Ditch Brewing is releasing *Turkey Trotter*, a blonde ale brewed in honor of the Buffalo Turkey Trot race. Available starting Oct. 3, the beer will be on draft and sold in 6-packs. This year, Big Ditch is running a giveaway, with six lucky winners receiving free Turkey Trot entry. Look for details on www.bigditchbrewing.com/turkeytrottergiveaway.**Hofbrauhaus Buffalo Festbier Release** Hofbrauhaus Buffalo will release their *Festbier* on Oct. 3 with a keg-tapping ceremony and live music at 6pm. Guests will get a complimentary pour of this seasonal beer, which pairs well with pork and sweet desserts like apfelstrudel. For reservations, call (716) 939-BEER or visit www.hofbrauhausbuffalo.com.**Cider Week New York 2024** Cider Week New York kicks off Oct. 5-13, celebrating the best in craft cider from across the state. The event will feature tastings, tours, and special pairings at cideries, restaurants, and bottle shops throughout New York. For more info and event listings, visit www.ciderweeknewyork.com.For the latest in Buffalo beer, tune in to *WNY Brews* and follow BuffaloBeerLeague.com! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're kicking off spooky season with Austria's first (and hopefully only) zombie movie that dares to ask the question...what if a snowmaking machine didn't make snow, but made zombies instead? If that sounds like a bad business plan to you, you'd be correct, and weirdly enough, it also makes for a bad movie. With 99% of the film's budget going straight to fake bloody viscera and bumpy skin growths, it's the script and plot that suffer most as we join this cast of mostly bland and unlikeable characters on their alpine misadventure. But the movie doesn't take itself too seriously, so we'll give it two out of five spleens.   Don't forget to rate and subscribe! Follow us on:  Twitter: @ih8itletswatch Instagram: @ih8itletswatchit Website: tinyurl.com/ih8itletswatchit Email: ihateitletswatchit@gmail.com

Episode 234: Pat seems to have found Leon Draisaitl's older doppelganger. Seattle's roster thus far in the preseason. The absurdity of the concept of captaincy & assistants in the NHL. Where can San Jose trade Logan Couture? More thoughts on Utah, & what they might do. Was Shea Weber really a Hockey Hall of Fame player? And then there's the horror of the NHL season starting this weekend…in Europe. And our predictions for the coming season. Recorded 29 September 2024

On the show this week, Nic has a run in with the Bishop of Augsburg as his kids' Kindergarten is finally opened. We discuss Bavarian flavoured Catholics, the correct kind of wurst, and sermons for 4-year-olds. Elections are in the air at the moment, and we start with Dili's optimistic assessment from her former home of Sri Lanka as things seem to be taking a turn for the better after Presidential elections. From the positive, we turn to slightly more negative state election results in Brandenburg, as the SPD retain their position as the largest party, but the AfD also make large gains. We close out proceedings with a surprise invitation to Oktoberfest and ponder what is the best outfit to wear to the Wiesn that isn't a Dirndl or Lederhosen. For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can.Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal Save the ChildrenÄrzte ohne GrenzenTheme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

If you are new to Australia and may not have any friends yet, we will now show you how to find casual company. InterNations is an organization that helps new arrivals connect with like-minded people. Lederhosen and Dirndl lovers are invited by InterNations to an Oktoberfest in Sydney on Saturday. SBS Audio German colleague Lidia Cortina talked to Axel Becker, who is organising this festival. - Wer neu in Australien ist und vielleicht noch keine Freunde hat, dem zeigen wir jetzt, wie man ungezwungen Gesellschaft findet. InterNations heißt eine Organisation, die Auswanderern dabei hilft, sich mit Gleichgesinnten zu vernetzen. Lederhosen und Dirndl-Liebhaber läd InterNations am Samstag in Sydney auf ein Oktoberfest ein. SBS Audio German Kollegin Lidia Cortina hat sich mit Axel Becker, der diese Festivität organisiert, unterhalten.

Text us about this show.It's autumn in Wisconsin so that means it's time to don the lederhosen, get to your favorite Oktoberfest celebration, and get your polka on! Our panelists include Polka Time radio show host DJ Shotski, historian Frank Anderson, and former Alvin Styczynski bassist Ike Arumba who are all here for a fun discussion all about polka music and we guarantee that it's a fun one. We do a deep dive into Wisconsin's polka history, its brightest stars (Dick Rodgers, Alvin Styczynski, Romy Gosz, Roger Bright), its different sub-genres, and what the future might hold for this time honored music.As if this wasn't enough, the world record for the largest polka dance was broken this weekend with music provided by DJ Shotski herself! See it here!"Bill's Polka," "Polka Para Dos," and "St. Paul Polka" performed by Danny Jerabek℗ 2020 Danny Jerabek. Used with permission of Danny Jerabek."Save Me" performed by Copper Box℗ 2024 Copper Box. Used with permission of Copper Box."Yee Hee Hee" performed by Ike Arumba℗ 2020 Ike Arumba. Used with permission of Ike Arumba."In Heaven There Is No Beer" – Dick Rodgers"Booze Polka" – Alvin Styczynski"Musical Clock Polka" & "Picnic In The Woods Polks" – Romy Gosz"Rocket Pilot Polka" – Ray Dorschner"Pooschie's Polka" – Roger Bright"Swiss Boy" – Lawrence Duchow"Beer Barrel Polka" & "You've Said It All" – Univ. of Wis. Marching Band"Let's Have a Polka Party" – Eddie Support the showVisit Into The Music at https://intothemusicpodcast.com!Support the show: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/intothemusic E-mail us at intothemusic@newprojectx.com YouTube Facebook Instagram INTO THE MUSIC is a production of Project X Productions, Appleton, WI.Host/producer: Rob MarnochaVoiceovers: Brad BordiniRecording, engineering, and post production: Rob MarnochaOpening theme: "Aerostar" by Los Straitjackets* (℗2013 Yep Roc Records)Closing theme: "Close to Champaign" by Los Straitjackets* (℗1999 Yep Roc Records)*Used with permission of Eddie Angel of Los StraitjacketsThis podcast copyright ©2024 by Project X Productions. All ...

Trotz Kontaktmangels treffen sich die Twins auch diese Woche wieder zu Ihrem wöchentlichen Stammtisch. Neben dem stark anwachsenden Verschleiß von Assistent*innen im Hause Kaulitz steht diesmal vor allem die scharfsinnige Berichterstattung der deutschen Boulevardpresse auf der Agenda. Doch es wird bestimmt etwas ruhiger um die beiden, wenn der Tokio Hotel Frontmann und Radiomoderator, Bill Kaulitz (35), auf dem Oktoberfest in Lederhosen mit Leo-Print im Käferzelt untertaucht … - O'zapft is! Alle weiteren Infos rund um den Podcast, Updates und Werbepartner findet ihr hier: https://www.instagram.com/kaulitzhills.podcast/ Alle Details zur BeOcean Kampagne des IFAW erfahrt Ihr auf ifaw.org/beocean Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Send us a textPünktlich zum Start des Oktoberfests schickt Lufthansa wieder ihre beliebten Trachtencrews in Dirndl und Lederhosen auf die Reise. Die erste Crew hob bereits in traditioneller Tracht nach Osaka ab, gefolgt von weiteren Flügen, darunter eine Strecke nach Johannesburg. Auch auf europäischen und innerdeutschen Strecken dürfen sich Passagiere auf das besondere Erlebnis freuen.Neben der Trachtenkleidung, die vom Münchner Spezialisten Angermaier aus nachhaltigen Materialien gefertigt wurde, bietet Lufthansa auch bayerische Schmankerl an Bord: Von Brathendl bis Schwammerlragout und Bayerisch Creme ist für jeden etwas dabei. Auch in den Lounges am Münchener Flughafen wird zünftig aufgetischt.#Lufthansa #Oktoberfest #Trachtencrew #Dirndl #Lederhosen #BavarianStyle #MünchenFrage des Tages: Wie findet ihr die Lufthansa Wiesn Uniform? Wer macht es besser? Lufthansa oder Emirates Airlines00:00 Willkommen zu Frequent Traveller TV02:12 Lufthansa Flugschüler müssen länger auf Cockpit Platz warten05:38 Pilot will mit Fantasie Pass durch die Passkontrolle in Brüssel09:40 Brüssel Flughafen Streik an der Sicherheitskontrolle 1.10.202411:02 SAS Flug mit Maus im Essen12:54 Lufthansa Wiesn24 Dirndl und Lederhosen15:30Frage des TagesTake-OFF 22.09.2024 – Folge 222-2024Stammtisch Termine: https://FQTWorld.as.me/meetupKanalmitglied werden und exklusive Vorteile erhalten:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQyWcZxP3MpuQ54foJ_IsgQ/joinHier geht es zu eurem kostenlosen Consulting Link - https://FTCircle.as.me/Damit Du von unserem Wissen profitieren kannst, kannst du ein mindestens 60 minütiges und vor allem auf dich zugeschnittenes Punkte, Meilen, Status Coaching buchen. Nach dem Call bekommst du ein Jahr Zugang zu dieser Gruppe und zahlst so nur 10 Euro pro Monat und kannst sofort profitieren. Hier ist nun der Link zu deinem neuen Punkte, Meilen und Status Deals.MY SOCIALSWhatsApp - https://wa.me/message/54V7X7VO3WOVF1FACEBOOK | Lars F Corsten - https://www.facebook.com/LFCorsten/FACEBOOK | FQT.TV - https://www.facebook.com/FQTTVFACEBOOK | FTCircle - https://www.facebook.com/FTCircleTWITTER | Lars F Corsten - https://twitter.com/LFCorstenINSTAGRAM | Lars F Corsten - https://www.instagram.com/lfcorsten/LINKEDIN - https://www.linkedin.com/in/lfcorsten/Clubhouse - @LFCorsten

Fulton Brewery is getting into the spirit of things with a big celebration! Details from Jill Drum, Fulton Director of Hospitality and lead Oktoberfest organizer, who talked with Vineeta on The WCCO Morning News!

A bowtie race, Life in Hamburg, another perspective on American hip-hop's influence, German Humor, “Most Extreme Trousers,” “Foot Cleavage,” Morning Routine, Lederhosen, (cars), field hockey, The Fresh Prince, and more!

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Iain and Jacqui discuss Labour going after tax dodgers, William Wragg, Cameron paying Trump a visit, protesters outside Starmer's house, whether Angela Rayner's in danger, Harold Wilson's affair and loads more. Smut quota: Middling.

Gaby Del Valle on The Baffler Magazine article, “Lost at CPAC: The paranoid style in conservative politics.” "Rotten History" follows the interview. Check out Gaby's article here: https://thebaffler.com/latest/lost-at-cpac-del-valle Help keep This Is Hell! completely listener supported and access weekly bonus episodes by subscribing to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thisishell