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In this special "From the Archive" episode, Susan Guthrie, top family law attorney and mediator, sits down with Dr. Debi Silber, the Founder of the PBT (Post-Betrayal Transformation) Institute, to discuss the trauma caused by betrayal and the path to healing and a better future. Dr. Debi shares her expertise on moving beyond betrayal, the five stages of healing, and offers invaluable tips to start your healing journey. Highlights from the Episode: What is betrayal and why is it so devastating? Why does Dr. Debi say that "even though it happened to you, it's not about you?" The five stages of betrayal and healing: Where are you? Three reasons people don't heal from betrayal How failure to heal can be like an addiction Top tips to start the healing process About Our Guest: About Our Guest: Dr. Debi Silber, Ph.D. is the founder of The PBT® (Post-Betrayal Transformation®) Institute, National Forgiveness Day, and runs a WBENC-Certified WBE company. A holistic psychologist and personal development expert, she authored Trust Again and The Rebuild Roadmap, and hosts the globally ranked podcast From Betrayal to Breakthrough. Her Ph.D. study on betrayal has made groundbreaking discoveries, and she's dedicated to helping people overcome betrayal and other blocks to achieve health, happiness, and success. Important Links and Resources: Dr. Debi Silber's TEDx Talk: Do You Have Post-Betrayal Syndrome? Take the "Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz": PBT Institute Quiz - Discover if you have PBS, what stage you are in, and receive tips for healing by email. The PBT (Post-Betrayal Transformation) Institute: PBTInstitute.com Please Note: This is an archive episode, so some of the links and offers mentioned in the episode may no longer be valid. For the most up-to-date information and resources, please refer to the links provided above in these show notes. ************* Our Sponsors: Gabrielle Hartley, the Creator of the Better Apart Method: Leading divorce lawyer, coach and mediator, Gabrielle Hartley's book book "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate" is a runaway best-seller and she provides mediation and consulting services to couples and individuals navigating the divorce process through her Better Apart Mediation practice. FAYR, the BEST Co-Parenting App on the Market! What makes FAYR different? At FAYR it's not just about efficiency and ease (though they love those). They also help you create a better co-parenting experience by providing tools for: constructive communication, argument diffusion, and emotional support. For information on our FAYR, the ONLY co-parenting app recommended by Susan Guthrie and The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, visit their website at www.fayr.com. Don't forget to use the code "SUSANG18" for 20% off!! *********************** MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST: SUSAN GUTHRIE®, ESQ., the creator and host of The Divorce and Beyond® Podcast, has been nationally recognized as one of the top family law and divorce mediation attorneys in the country for more than 30 years. Susan is the Chair-Elect of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution and is a sought-after keynote speaker, business and practice consultant, coach and trainer. You can find out more about Susan and her services here: https://susaneguthrie.com Divorce & Beyond is a Top 1% Overall and Top 100 Self-Help podcast designed to help you with all you need to know to navigate your divorce journey and most importantly, to thrive in your beautiful beyond! ***************************************************************************** SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE! If you would like to sponsor the show please reach out to us at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com for pricing and details!!! ********************************************************************* Remember to follow Susan Guthrie and THE DIVORCE AND BEYOND PODCAST on social media for updates and inside tips and information: Susan Guthrie on Facebook @susanguthrieesq Susan on Instagram @susanguthrieesq Susan on Twitter @guthrielaw Susan on TikTok @divorceandbeyond If you want to see the video version of the podcast episodes they are available on The Divorce & Beyond YouTube Channel! Make sure to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss a single episode! Finally, we'd really appreciate it if you would give us a 5 Star Rating and tell us what you like about the show in a review - your feedback really matters to us! You can get in touch with Susan at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com. Don't forget to visit the webpage www.divorceandbeyondpod.com and sign up for the free NEWSLETTER to receive a special welcome video from Susan and more!! ***************************************************************************** DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM
This week on Divorce & Beyond, Susan Guthrie, Esq., author and divorce mediator Gabrielle Hartley, Esq. returns to the show to share the secret to getting along. You'll hear just how easy it truly can be! We experience conflict everywhere, including within relationships or at work. Susan Guthrie, Esq., welcomes returning guest Gabrielle Hartley, Esq., to discuss the five common conflict behaviors exhibited during the divorce process. In this conversation, Gabrielle and Susan help listeners understand what it takes to reframe relationships, work through conflict, and walk away with a greater sense of peace. Gabrielle Hartley is co-chair of the American Bar Association Mediation Committee, a divorce attorney, online mediator, founder of The Private Divorce Solution, and author of "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate." Her new book, “The Secret to Getting Along and Why It's Easier Than You Think,” is available now for pre-order. Topics and Golden Nuggets include: The five destructive behaviors we all have that show up in divorce “Forgiveness of yourself is the most important part of conflict resolution.” Finding what behavior(s) you are demonstrating is the first step in working to resolve conflict Getting along with anyone includes the YES Method, Understanding Your Role, and Shelving Heated Conversations. **************************************** About this week's special guests: Gabrielle Hartley Gabrielle Hartley is co-chair of the American Bar Association Mediation Committee, a divorce attorney, online mediator, founder of The Private Divorce Solution, and author of "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate." Her new book “The Secret to Getting Along and Why It's Easier Than You Think” will be released this May. She offers a weekly newsletter, The Conflict Code” and hosts The Better Apart Blog and is a frequently quoted media expert in the peaceful divorce realm (The New York Times, Vice, WNYC, Forbes, Psychology Today,etc.) Gabrielle is former court attorney to NYS Supreme Court Judge Jeffrey Sunshine. While writing her first book, Better Apart; The Radically Positive Way to Separate (HarperCollins2019) she realized that we all need to get along better in all facets of our lives. Gabrielle developed the YES Method based on more than 25 years working as a top divorce lawyer and mediator. The Secret to Getting Along was recently selected as a Next Big Idea Club must-read and her Tedx Talk on her strategy has been viewed over 62 thousand times. Gabrielle's website: www.gabriellehartley.com Gabrielle on Instagram and Facebook: @gabriellehartleyesq Gabrielle's new book, “The Secret to Getting Along and Why It's Easier Than You Think”: https://gabriellehartley.com/thesecrettogettingalong/ The Secret To Getting Along is Easier Than You Think TEDx Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/gabrielle_hartley_the_secret_to_getting_along_is_easier_than_you_think Check out Gabrielle's past appearances on Divorce & Beyond: Gabrielle Hartley Has the Secret to Helping Us All Get Along Better, and It Starts with Y.E.S. Is Your Divorce Taking Too Long? BLITZ IT and BE DONE with Gabrielle Hartley The Best Thing to Happen to Divorce in Ages with Very Special Guest Gabrielle Hartley ***************************************** THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: SOBERLINK Thriving in divorce and beyond means not having to worry about the safety of your children when it comes to co-parenting. With alcohol abuse on the rise, many co-parents are turning to the system committed to providing proof, protection, and peace of mind. Soberlink's alcohol monitoring system is the most convenient, reliable, and reasonable way for a parent to provide evidence that they are not drinking during parenting time. Soberlink's real-time alerts, facial recognition, and tamper detection ensure the integrity of each test, so you can be confident your kids are with a sober parent. With Soberlink, judges rest assured that your child is safe, attorneys get court-admissible evidence of sobriety, and both parents have empowerment and peace of mind. Pull back the curtain on the mysteries of parenting time and trust The Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to keep you informed and your kids safe and secure. To download the addiction and children resource page that I developed with Soberlink, visit www.Soberlink.com/Susan ___________ HOLLIS HARDIMAN Regardless of where you are in the divorce process, Hollis can provide the insights and tools to make informed decisions and secure your financial future. Schedule your complimentary consultation with Hollis by emailing hhardiman@meritfa.com. Be sure to tell her you heard about her on Divorce & Beyond. ********************************************************************* SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES ARE AVAILABLE! https://divorcebeyond.com/Sponsorship-Info ******************************************************************* MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST: SUSAN GUTHRIE®, ESQ., the creator and host of The Divorce and Beyond® Podcast, is nationally recognized as one of the top family law and divorce mediation attorneys in the country. Susan is the Vice Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution and is a sought-after keynote speaker, business and practice consultant, coach and trainer. You can find out more about Susan and her services here: https://neon.page/susanguthrie Internationally renowned as one of the leading experts in online mediation, Susan created her Learn to Mediate Online® program and has trained more than 25,000 professionals in how to transition their practice online. Susan recently partnered with legal and mediation legend, Forrest "Woody" Mosten to create the Mosten Guthrie Academy which provides gold-standard, fully online training for mediation and collaborative professionals at all stages of their careers. Follow Susan Guthrie and THE DIVORCE AND BEYOND PODCAST on social media for updates and inside tips and information: Susan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susaneguthrie/ Susan on Instagram @susanguthrieesq ********************************************************************* We'd really appreciate it if you would give us a 5 Star Rating and tell us what you like about the show in a review - your feedback really matters to us! You can get in touch with Susan at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com. Don't forget to visit the webpage www.divorceandbeyondpod.com and sign up for the free NEWSLETTER to receive a special welcome video from Susan and more!! ********************************************************************* DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
In this episode, you will indeed learn the secrets to getting along with everyone better - from new dates, existing partners, colleagues, friends, kids and more! Gabrielle's YES method is unveiled, and Bela and her discuss strategic gems to using conflict to get ALL relationships to a better place! You'll learn how to deal with someone belligerent, how to say a 'real' no without hurting someone's feelings, about the woman who offered Gabrielle a chocolate cake for giving birth and NEVER gave it (and how Gabrielle handed it, lol), and SO much more! BIO: Gabrielle Hartley is a nationally recognized online mediator, divorce attorney, co-chair of the American Bar Association Mediation Committee, TEDx Speaker, and author of the acclaimed book "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate."Her upcoming book, "The Secret to Getting Along and Why It's Easier Than You Think," is set to release this May, and is endorsed as a Must-Read by Malcolm Gladwell, Daniel Pink, Adam Grant, and Susan Cain's Next Big Idea Book Group. It unlocks the potential for better relationships with just three simple steps for conflict resolution. Gabrielle also shares her insights in her weekly newsletter, The Conflict Code, and is frequently quoted as a media expert in the peaceful divorce You can pre-order her book The Secret to Getting Along (And Why It's Easier Than You Think): 3 Steps to Life-Changing Conflict Resolution Download this episode, share it on social, and sign up for our free newsletter by filling out any contact form on our site (www.smartdatingacademy.com). Follow us on Instagram as well @smartdatingacademy! Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here! We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you! https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela
Gabrielle Hartley returns to the show to discuss the secret to getting along with others! Gabrielle is co-chair of the American Bar Association Mediation Committee, a divorce attorney, online mediator, founder of The Private Divorce Solution, and author of "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate." Her new book, “The Secret to Getting Along and Why It's Easier Than You Think,” is available for pre-order. Gabrielle says that when you learn the steps of getting along, there is nothing more satisfying than being in agreement. Listen to this episode to hear how meeting your deepest emotional needs will lead to resolving conflict. Featured topics include: The framework of Gabrielle's YES Method and how it encourages people to get along (12:50) Knowing when to shelve a conversation and take space (19:30) If you can understand what the other person really needs, you can settle almost any argument (24:47) Gabrielle explains what she means when she says, “Defensiveness is the enemy of resolution.” (32:42) The VIR protocol: visualizing how you want things to be (36:14) Learn more about Gabrielle Hartley, Esq.: Gabrielle Hartley is co-chair of the American Bar Association Mediation Committee, a divorce attorney, online mediator, founder of The Private Divorce Solution, and author of "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate." Her new book “The Secret to Getting Along and Why It's Easier Than You Think” will be released this May. She offers a weekly newsletter, The Conflict Code” and hosts The Better Apart Blog and is a frequently quoted media expert in the peaceful divorce realm (The New York Times, Vice, WNYC, Forbes, Psychology Today,etc.) Gabrielle is former court attorney to NYS Supreme Court Judge Jeffrey Sunshine. While writing her first book, Better Apart; The Radically Positive Way to Separate (HarperCollins2019) she realized that we all need to get along better in all facets of our lives. Gabrielle developed the YES Method based on more than 25 years working as a top divorce lawyer and mediator. The Secret to Getting Along was recently selected as a Next Big Idea Club must-read and her Tedx Talk on her strategy has been viewed over 62 thousand times. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-215-the-secret-to-getting-along-with-gabrielle-hartley-esq/ Join me for a special Split UP: The TEEN Years screening event on Friday, May 12th! To secure your spot and get all the details, visit http://kateanthony.com/split. A Conversation about the film Split UP: The TEEN Years with Christina McGhee and Ellen Bruno Gabrielle's website Gabrielle on Facebook Gabrielle on Instagram The Secret To Getting Along and Why It's Easier Than You Think The Secret To Getting Along is Easier Than You Think TEDx Talk TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: COZY EARTH Cozy Earth is the world's foremost source of high-quality, authentic bamboo viscose bed linens. Listeners can enjoy this exclusive offer from Cozy Earth today: Receive 35% off site-wide when you use the code “DSG” at CozyEarth.com! Thanks to our sponsor, Cozy Earth, and thank you, listeners, for supporting this show! DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
In this episode of We Chat Divorce, we're joined by Gabrielle Hartley to discuss the topic of What You Need to Know Before You Get Married. Here's an overview of Gabrielle's experience: Gabrielle Hartley, Esq. is a leading online mediator and family law attorney known for keeping 99% of her cases at the settlement table. She is the author of Better Apart; The Radically Positive Way to Separate, which received a glowing recommendation from Gwyneth Paltrow and People Magazine. Before opening her full-service online mediation and professional training center, Gabrielle clerked in matrimonial court in NYC where she resolved hundreds of high conflict divorces. She is a sought-after expert in the positive divorce space in media outlets such as The New York Times, The New York Post, U.S. News and World Report, has been interviewed on dozens of podcasts and is a regular guest on NBC Mass Appeals. Gabrielle serves on many committees within the ABA Mediation Access to Justice Week 2020, and co-chair of the DR Just Resolutions Mediation Edition. She is also on the Western MA Mediation and Collaborative Dispute Resolution Steering Committee. Gabrielle trains divorce professionals in the Better Apart Method Online. In addition to offering training for professionals, she maintains a private mediation practice and is of counsel to Lisa Zeiderman's law firm in Westchester and NYC. Hosts, Karen, and Catherine sit down with Gabrielle Hartley to discuss what you need to know before you get married. Learn More >> www.gabriellehartley.com Connect with Grace on LinkedIn >> @Gabrielle Hartley ----more---- The We Chat Divorce podcast (hereinafter referred to as the “WCD”) represents the opinions of Catherine Shanahan, Karen Chellew, and their guests to the show. WCD should not be considered professional or legal advice. The content here is for informational purposes only. Views and opinions expressed on WCD are our own and do not represent that of our places of work. WCD should not be used in any legal capacity whatsoever. Listeners should contact their attorney to obtain advice with respect to any particular legal matter. No listener should act or refrain from acting on the basis of information on WCD without first seeking legal advice from counsel in the relevant jurisdiction. No guarantee is given regarding the accuracy of any statements or opinions made on WCD. Unless specifically stated otherwise, Catherine Shanahan and Karen Chellew do not endorse, approve, recommend, or certify any information, product, process, service, or organization presented or mentioned on WCD, and information from this podcast should not be referenced in any way to imply such approval or endorsement. The third-party materials or content of any third-party site referenced on WCD do not necessarily reflect the opinions, standards or policies of Catherine Shanahan or Karen Chellew. WCD, CATHERINE SHANAHAN, AND KAREN CHELLEW EXPRESSLY DISCLAIM ANY AND ALL LIABILITY OR RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR OTHER DAMAGES ARISING OUT OF ANY INDIVIDUAL'S USE OF, REFERENCE TO, RELIANCE ON, OR INABILITY TO USE, THIS PODCAST OR THE INFORMATION PRESENTED IN THIS PODCAST ----more---- Karen: Welcome to We Chat Divorce, Catherine and I are honored to welcome attorney Gabrielle Hartley to our podcast, today. In this episode, we're going to discuss what you need to know before you get married. Expert advice from the divorce lawyer, so you won't ever need one. But first, let me take a couple of minutes to introduce Gabrielle. Gabrielle is a Leading Online Mediator and Family Law Attorney. She is the author of Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate, which received a glowing recommendation from Gwyneth Paltrow and People Magazine. [inaudible 00:00:37], an expert in the positive divorce space and media outlets such as The New York Times, the New York Post, U.S. News & World Report. She's been interviewed on dozens of podcasts and is a regular guest on NBC Mass Appeal. And here she is with us today. Gabrielle trains, divorce professionals in the Better Apart method online. Welcome, Gabrielle. Gabrielle: Hi. Catherine: Hello. I love this. Flipping the story, what to do before you get married. We don't often, or do we ever even talk about that? Gabrielle: Well, I find the Millennial generation is really on top of things. I know there's a lot of conversation about, everything that's wrong with them, but I'm going to say they're a planning group. And so I get a lot of phone calls with people asking me what they need to know? Do they maybe need a prenup? Or sometimes they're not even really interested in a prenup, but they're just literally interviewing me to find out what do I see that goes wrong? And so I decided to write this book, what you need to know before you get married so that people who couldn't afford an hour with me could just get it for free right now. And then just for a couple of bucks on Amazon, when it goes up there. And to talk about the things that you really need to pay attention to, which you may be totally ignored while you're in the throes of romance. Catherine: Yeah. I say this all the time, because, I say that people will budget for their wedding. They'll... How much they can spend on their dress? And how much they can spend in a venue? And what's the band? But do you ever really talk about your budget post marriage? No. What are the expectations between the two of you post the big fun marriage? Just not a conversation, a lot of people have. Gabrielle: That's right. They don't talk... They're so wedding-oriented, but they're not talking about how they're going to plan for retirement, life insurance, childcare, somebody's mom going to watch kids? Are you going to have kids? Even away from the money and we will circle right back to the money. But do one of you expect that you're going to have dinner with your parents once a week or twice a week, even? Right. Are they going to come to you or are you expected to go there for Sunday dinner? Do you expect that your spouse is always going to go with you? Gabrielle: These are things that really break people up. What about partying? Right. I have a little section called, my girl wants to party all the time or maybe I said guy, I don't remember. But, it might be a lot of fun to go out every night when you're dating and you're just living it up. But then when you finally are settling down, it may be that one of you decides it's time to open quote, "Grow up." Close quote. And the other of you might say, "What do you mean grow up? This is who I am. This is who I thought you were." There's a lot of important conversations that don't happen. And what's so interesting is when you're getting divorced, all of these conversations are often happening for the first time. Catherine: And it's the blame game. "You never wanted to go out at night. You never wanted to do this. You never held my hand. You never got me flowers." But, they never did that before. You never had the conversation before they got married. Gabrielle: Or maybe when you were dating, they did get you flowers, but they were in the courting stage, right. But now it's real-life in your marriage. So, I love that you just brought up the blame game. That's something I talk a lot about in the context of divorcing positively. It's about becoming an active visionary. Same thing, having these important conversations is not just about doing an investigation of your betrothed to be, right. It's like an investigation and to yourself, what's your vision? So what you need to know before you get married is also about, really having an important conversation about what you want out of your life with yourself. Do you want to work 70 hours a week? Or do you want to work for somebody? Or do you want to work for yourself? Do you want to work part-time? Are you picturing that you're going to be a homemaker? Are you going to have a career? Or are you going to have a job just to make some money? Or does one of you have significant family money? How's that going to work with your marriage? Right. Catherine: But, even when you have the vision, it changes. I wanted to be Donna Mills from Knots Landing. That was my goal. I was going to be this little kind of aggressive woman in the work field. And then I had my daughter and once I had her, I didn't want to work anymore. I just could not see myself leaving her. So your goals and your dreams can change, but how do you communicate that with each other? Gabrielle: Right. And it's really ongoing. And, we touched briefly on the idea of, you can have... Everybody's heard of the idea of a prenup, which is making an agreement before you get married, to tie up what would happen in the case of dissolution or divorce after you're married. And there's a lot of things that we could sort of dive into that, but also just so anyone listening to this knows if you've become, if you've gotten married and things were going well for the first, seven to 13 years and year 14, your spouse says, "You know what, I'm going to take on a bunch of debt because I've always wanted to open a restaurant." And suddenly you're like, "Oh My Gosh, I don't want to take this debt with you." Or for whatever other set of reasons there is something called a postnuptial, that you can enter into, which is basically a contract after you're married, which would designate how things will unfold. Should you get divorced? Catherine: Let me back you up there for one second. So our listeners can understand because it's a common question and quite confusing at times. So the Millennials or whatever they're called, the younger generation, I just call them all. A lot of them keep separate accounts. The first time I got married, you wouldn't even think of keeping separate accounts because I didn't grow up that way. But now they're keeping separate accounts. And does that protect them? How do they protect those separate accounts? If they don't, if they didn't get it prenup? Gabrielle: It really depends where they live. In Massachusetts, anything that's acquired after the marriage is definitely considered marital, regardless of how it's titled, the same thing in New York. It's really important that you have conversations. And quite frankly, if you want to really protect yourself, you really do need to have a written agreement just because something is not in your name... Is in your name alone does not mean that it's not both of yours. In fact, in Massachusetts, even if things were acquired before marriage, everything comes into the marital part until you prove that it's not part of the marital part. Gabrielle: Whereas in New York, everything is considered, anything marital is marital, separate is separate, and then you have to discuss and explain and prove why it should come into the marital part? And I'm only familiar really intimately with those two states. And I would suggest anybody who has money and they want to make sure that it's considered separate, that they create a contract that protects it. Let's talk a minute about inheritances or trusts, right. Those aren't necessarily going to be deemed separate property either in case of a dissolution. And that can be really shocking for some people to find out. So it's really important, they have all these conversations. Karen: So to that point, we have a lot of couples come to us or individuals come to us with their net worth statement. And so that obviously defines what they consider their marital estate. But all of those points you just made and change that net worth statement as it relates to the division of property. And so I think you usually have one person who's a spreadsheet person, right. And they come in with that and they want that to be what they're dividing. And so many times that's not what you're dividing at all, because of all of these different factors. So that's why financial clarity is so important. And having financial conversations is so important so that your goals and what you're doing? And how you're living? And how you're behaving? Is in tandem with each other. So that when you, if you would choose to separate, for whatever reason, you're not having to reach that huge gap of yuckiness. Lack of a better word there. Gabrielle: I always say hard now, easy later, right. That's what I see about mediating with people who are having a difficult time working through details, they just want to sort of glaze over things and you never want to glaze over things. The same thing when you're getting married, you really want to have these conversations. I know, Ruth Bader Ginsburg is famous for saying, "A long-term marriage is predicated on everybody being a little deaf." And yes, there's value to ignoring some of the things that could make us upset and angry once we are married. But when it comes to your financial stability and integrity and ability to move forward and have respect for each other and not want to, blow your own head off or each other's heads off. Gabrielle: It's really important that you have these conversations. Especially if you're marrying people from different backgrounds. So, it doesn't matter if you have similar amounts of money, our money narratives are so strong and they really play into how we go through life. I was just going to say, sometimes I have clients who have millions and millions of dollars and they really don't want to spend money on two hours of mediation, where somebody else has very little money and they don't want anything for free. And they just have a different relationship with money. Catherine: That's exactly it. Everybody has a different money story and whether it's good or bad, it's an intimidating conversation. But I think if my advice would be for everyone to approach it with an expectation outlook. So it's not really a questioning outlook about the finances, but if you came to your spouse or your partner and said, I just want to discuss expectations as it relates to finances." It's a much gentler, kinder way to walk into that conversation. And it's something, again, like you both said, it's an ongoing conversation. So again, two years into your marriage, you can say, "Maybe our expectations have shifted here, let's re-discuss what our plan was from two years ago to today." And if you start that pattern of expectations, it's really great because it doesn't put anybody on the defensive. Just, is a great conversation to have, and I encourage everyone to have it. Gabrielle: I think that that's a really great point. But going back to the idea of having these conversations before you get married. Typically, how we view things, yes, of course, we mature and we grow and we start to see things differently. As we become older, we tend to feel more powerful and more able if things are going in a favorable way. But, who we essentially are? Is sort of there from the beginning and having conversations about all different things, including money, even if the conversations are uncomfortable, you're doing yourself a favor. Even if you end up breaking your engagement, right. Or maybe you say, "We're going to get married." But, you get married with the knowledge of how each other thinks. You just saved yourself in 20 years, like, "Oh My Gosh, who are you?" I never knew conversations. Right. Catherine: Exactly. Yeah. Karen: Yeah. Gabrielle, how often should the prenup be revisited? Gabrielle: So a prenup is just what it says, it's prenuptial. It is created before you get married. And once you are married, you cannot have a new prenup. That would be a postnup. So after you're married, typically actually people don't revisit them all that often. The whole idea is that it's done, right. The only reason that typically people would enter a postnup is that something changed, maybe the economic position of one person or another, or the attitudes of one person or the other has changed. Maybe the people, somebody found out that their husband or wife cheated on them and they want a divorce. And they say, "The only way I'm going to stay with you is if you enter a postnup where I get 80% of everything." And the person says, "I promise, I'll never do it again." And then they call me and I say, "Oh, don't make those promises. You might not keep buddy." Right. Catherine: Yeah. Karen: Yeah. Catherine: Give her the 80%. Yeah. We have a lot of people that come through our and do our portrait. And because we provide a space where they can decompress, where they're gathering information and really let out their feelings on how their financial life has been for the past 20 years or what have you. They come to a new understanding and we send them to mediation afterward, or we send them to a marriage counselor because they decide that they just want to postnup. They want to stay together, but they want a new financial understanding between the two of them. And they want to work on their emotional side, not so much the financial side because that would be taken care of. And I think it's really a good approach if you're not sure whether you want to get divorced or not. Gabrielle: Absolutely. I actually have, I train mediators in the Better Apart method. And I have a set of mediators who I refer to, who that's, all they do is people who want to stay married, but need to create new rules for their marriage going forward, right. So it's not one size fits all. It's just when I say that, I mean the outcome is not one size fits all. People can get through all kinds of adversity. You can have really different ways of viewing things. There's always compromise concessions, acquiescence, all different ways to get along, right. But you have to be able to have meaningful conversations to get there. And I'm just going to add in a little conflict resolution tip, when you're stuck in an argument loop, let's say you start having these important premarital conversations or you're already married and you're having a hard time. When we get stuck in a loop, we're typically perseverating on the, what? What we're arguing about? Right. But if we can get beneath the what? And get to the why we care? We can start to have conversations that get some movement. Gabrielle: So it's like what we want? That's our wants and the why we want it? Is typically the need. So when we can satisfy our needs, then we can start making agreements with each other. So let's say you're getting married. And one of you wants a big family and one of you doesn't want kids. Well, red flag stop, have a conversation, "Why do you want a big family?" "Well, because we said, we're moving across the country and I don't want to feel isolated." "Why don't you want any kids?" "I feel like I'm going to be pulled in too many directions and I want a career." Well, there's a lot of space in there, right. Maybe you don't need to move across the country. Maybe you can agree to have a nanny. When we get to the why? When we dive into the why? We can create solutions and it's the same thing with financial wellness, "Why do we need $10 million of life insurance?" "Well, if you die, I'm afraid of this, that, and the other thing." "Okay, how else might we find a solution for that?" Catherine: So I call that the emotional value to a financial asset. That's finding what's the emotional connection to this asset or to the debt? Why you're acquiring this debt? Because that's really what needs to be fixed or that's the conversation that needs to be fixed. We have the data and we can give your attorneys and your mediators, the data and all the recommendations and considerations and all of that. But then you need to do the work to get to the why? Or the emotional value behind it. Excuse me. Gabrielle: Yeah. And, the Better Apart process, that book was written specifically for, [inaudible 00:17:45], can see the book, for people who are going through a divorce, but it's really navigation of getting your own inner alignment in check. So it's like, "How can I slow down? How can I get clear? How do I move past disagreements? How can I address things from a zero valence clear, neutral way?" All of these things are actually important to all of us, whether we're single, married, divorced, an artist at home on a commune or a businesswoman on wall street, no matter who we are. When we are aware of our inner thoughts, we can start changing them, we can start neutralizing and then we can start having important conversations. Karen: Yeah. And I think to your point, it's never too late to start having those conversations and start making those agreements. Because I think, the Gray Divorce is a big movement in our country right now. And I feel like it's a lot of people looking for autonomy and having those conversations and having those agreements can create for a lot of people, not for everybody, of course, that level of autonomy that they can continue their relationship that maybe is perfectly intact, except for people have lost their autonomy. Gabrielle: That's so on point Karen, that is... That's my story in a way, right. I was really unhappy in my marriage because everything was about my husband and I was very full of resentment. And I wanted to write this book and I was like, "I want to write this book. I want to be a global conversation changer around divorce. And I want to get Gwyneth Paltrow to endorse it." I had this vision and I didn't know what it was going to do to my marriage because I was suddenly playing big or whatever you want to call it. And, it was definitely created some bumps in the road, but there were bumps anyway, right. So, why not see if there's a way that you can make your relationship, whatever that relationship may be like with a spouse or with whomever, see if you can make it work and you change your own behavior? You can always leave. But why not try to change from within the context of the relationship first? Catherine: Yeah. And it's a hard conversation because the longer you wait, the harder it is. So the earlier you can do that. Good for you. My daughter did the best thing for me when she got married this past August, the prior year, she gave me the talk, "Mom, I'm not going to be home for every Christmas, Charlie and I will be alternating Christmas and Thanksgiving." And I was kind of like, "What? I can't imagine, not having my daughter there." But she really set me up to like, "This is what we discussed and we're going to alternate holidays, Christmas and Thanksgiving." [crosstalk 00:20:56]. So I was able to settle myself into that as her being my first one to go off and do that to me. Gabrielle: Catherine, that's such a great example because case in point, it's not just about who you're married to. We have lots of close relationships, our children, my goodness, right. Your children are like your lifeblood and the idea of not having holidays with them, I have three sons, so I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I'm never going to see them again." But, I can always try to trap them with me right now. But, but the fact of the matter is, what a gift that your daughter was so clear with you. And I'm sure she was that clear because she had a mom who did a lot of work around clarity and you modeled clarity to her. That's amazing, you should be really proud. You literally gave me complete chills on my arms. Catherine: What I thought was the cutest was because of my first holiday that she wasn't here. I was so worried about my son because I always want my kids to always know... As a mom, we all feel like, [inaudible 00:22:04], to know when you're not here, your kids are there to take care of each other, right. And so I remember the first thing, he was like, "Well." Trying to see if he should be with his dad that time because Danielle would be. He was trying to align the two of them. I just was so happy with that. I thought, "Oh, that's so sweet. And maybe they did this with to me." Gabrielle: They say it seeps in. Catherine: Yeah, it does seep in, right. Gabrielle: My kids are total teenagers. So... Catherine: Yeah. You'll get there. Gabrielle: Right now, you're all just really sweet. Catherine: Oh yeah. That's a sweet age. Yeah. Karen: All right. Gabrielle, how about three tips for people approaching marriage? Gabrielle: Okay. Well, the first one we... [crosstalk 00:22:52]. Right, we've just gone through ad nauseum, which is know your financial picture, have a conversation about what you both need and want. Talk about the idea that you're going to check in every other year for adjustments. And remember taking a pause or a step back is always the best way forward. Karen: Love that. Catherine: Love that. We both just said that. That's awesome. This is awesome. Karen: Thank you, Gabrielle, for being here with us today. Gabrielle: It's my pleasure. I always love talking to you guys. Karen: We love talking with you too. Such a ball of energy. So this concludes this episode of what you need to know before you get married. Thank you for a great conversation. Gabrielle: Thank you.
In this episode of The Defense Never Rests podcast, we are joined by divorce attorney, online mediator, and divorce strategy coach Gabrielle Hartley. Tune in to hear her personal journey that led her to her position today, and the ins-and-outs of bring a divorce attorney. Be sure to check out her book Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate.
How to Split a Toaster: A divorce podcast about saving your relationships
Gabrielle Hartley is a nationally-recognized divorce attorney, online mediator and divorce strategy coach with a strong focus on conflict resolution. She is the author of Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate and she joins us today to share how she brings mindfulness to the divorce process.No, Gabrielle doesn't lead her clients through a yoga practice in the mediation process. But she does lead us through some specific exercises focusing on breathing and returning to our bodies in a way that can help remain positive and attentive under stress. Her approach is to help her clients to remember that patience, respect, clarity, and peace are all part of an everyday practice, integrating new behaviors in our lives to help us accomplish our greatest challenges. Links & NotesAbout Gabrielle HartleyBuy the Book — Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate by Gabrielle Hartley
How to Split a Toaster: A divorce podcast about saving your relationships
Gabrielle Hartley is a nationally-recognized divorce attorney, online mediator and divorce strategy coach with a strong focus on conflict resolution. She is the author of Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate and she joins us today to share how she brings mindfulness to the divorce process. No, Gabrielle doesn't lead her clients through a yoga practice in the mediation process. But she does lead us through some specific exercises focusing on breathing and returning to our bodies in a way that can help remain positive and attentive under stress. Her approach is to help her clients to remember that patience, respect, clarity, and peace are all part of an everyday practice, integrating new behaviors in our lives to help us accomplish our greatest challenges. Links & Notes About Gabrielle Hartley Buy the Book — Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate by Gabrielle Hartley
Endorsed by Goop's Gwenth Paltrow renown author and divorce attorney Gabrielle Hartly joins me to talk about her best selling book Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate. She has helped countless couples learn how to overcome the complexities of divorce and how to come out of it stronger and wiser. Buy That Girl A Novel on Amazon in paperback or Kindle!For more about Jackie, coaching and That Girl The Podcast follow her here:Instagram:@jackiebrubaker@gabriellehartlyesq@thatgirlcoachingwww.thatgirlcoaching.comwww.jackiebrubaker.comYouTube:That Girl The Podcast
Gabrielle Hartley is a leading online mediator and family law attorney known for keeping 99% of her cases at the settlement table. She has a private mediation practice and is of counsel to Lisa Zeiderman's law firm in Westchester and New York City. Gabrielle authored Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate. She is a sought after expert in the positive divorce space in media outlets such as The New York Times, The New York Post, U.S. News and World Report, has been interviewed on dozens of podcasts and is a regular guest on NBC Mass Appeal. Gabrielle trains divorce professionals in the Better Apart Method Online. *********Don't miss an episode! Subscribe at Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts, or at our website. Audio editing and original music provided by Encompass Podcast Studio. Need their help for your own project? Send an email at info@themediatenow.com and tell then Winter sent you! Want to join The Mediate Now™ conversation? Get involved with the Facebook group!Chat with Winter! Chat with Gabrielle Hartley!Need to schedule a mediation? Contact Winter at winter@winterwheeler.com, and check out her mediation and coaching website.
Gabrielle Hartley is a strong, compassionate advocate coach who, for 25 years, has helped couples reach amicable resolutions during separation or divorce, even leading them to realize that, maybe, the relationship is worth a second try. She authored Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate, a book endorsed by Gwyneth Paltrow herself, and was named “The Conscious Uncoupling How To Book” by People Magazine. About Guest/Topic Gabrielle has counseled countless couples over the years and has kept 99% of her cases out of the courtroom and back on the road of second chances and new beginnings. She may not be able to conclude on first glance the fate that awaits a relationship, but by sharing her carefully curated methods of working through the self and the emotions a person has experienced, her clients are able to reach a peaceful resolution, whether it’s by letting go or hanging on. In this episode, Gabrielle talks about the positive ways to go through separation, letting go of the pain and resentment and finally finding peace within yourself. In This Episode Learn how the things that are happening to you may not typically be about you Figure out how you can have a positive experience amidst separation and betrayal Explore the five elements that will help you navigate the roadmap of your relationship Learn the ways you can forgive someone who has betrayed you and find peace within yourself Learn why the wrong type of support can do more harm than good Quotes “The possibilities are really endless. The possibilities come from within the person who's coming to see me.” (02:20) “Easy now, hard later. Hard now, easy later. Take your pick, it's going to be one of those two.” (11:10) “Patience is about slowing down, giving yourself tools to respond rather than react.” (08:30) “What respect is all about, of course, it’s about you. It’s about building up yourself especially when you feel like garbage after you've just been betrayed.” (12:20) “It's this concept of death and rebirth and there really is the death of the old relationships, the death of the old you, the death of the expectations and the grieving process that goes along with it.” (20:37) "The thing about forgiveness is it's truly all about you. It is an exercise in being compassionate with yourself.” (23:45) Resources Mentioned Gabriel Hartley Website Post-Betrayal Syndrome QuizThe PBT Institute Group: Women Hacking Betrayal
In this episode, I sat down with Gabrielle Harley, divorce attorney, online mediator and author of Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate and had an amazing conversation about divorce and all of the things that you can do, including the need for clarity, patience, and forgiveness to get to the place where you feel that you are truly better apart.
For so many people going through divorce or difficult change, the future can suddenly look like a big, black void. The life you saw and planned is no longer available and you have no idea how things will unfold as you go forward. This can create a great deal of fear that often keeps people stuck in the trauma of the divorce long after the legal process is over. In this episode, Host Susan Guthrie speaks with Certified Coach, Shannon McGorry, who helps people chart their path beyond divorce to create a future that is in keeping with their interests and values. Things that sometimes get set aside in the give and take of a relationship and the turmoil of it's breakdown. Having been through it herself, Shannon knows the uncertainly that the drastic change of divorce can bring and she also knows how to help you through the loss and the way to turn to the future so that you can thrive after your divorce. Some highlights from this episode: Divorce does not define you. You get to choose how you are going to live your next chapter (6:30) Why Shannon's therapist told her she shouldn't stay in ugly too long. (7:00) How fear shows up in divorce as fear of the loss, fear of the process and fear of the outcome. (7:45) What are the two tracks to follow to start taking action? (10:20) Why do you need to get in touch with and define your values in order to create your new future. (14:25) What does Shannon's "categories of life" exercise do to help you unhit the pause button on your life. (19:15) What exactly does Shannon mean by becoming empowered and why is it SO important for moving forward after your divorce? (25:35) How can you regain your power when the divorce is not something that you chose or want? (27:05) Shannon knows the fear you are feeling and also the steps you can take to move through that fear or avoid it entirely so that you CAN thrive into your new future - Don't miss this episode! More about this week's Special Guest: Shannon McGorry is a Certified Professional Coach specializing in Divorce and Life Empowerment. Expertise, Prioritization, Clarity, and Accountability are the principles of Shannon’s practice. Shannon empowers her clients to show up confident, well informed, and educated as they make decisions and take consistent, intentional action in support of their future reality. Shannon obtained her coaching certification through the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching, and she graduated Magna Cum Laude from Siena College with a Bachelor of Arts in Economics. She is a woman of faith, a mom of two daughters, a yoga enthusiast, a huge fan of the beach, of being outside, and of laughter. Shannon is available for private coaching, workshops, and speaking engagements via her website, http://www.lovestrengthandgrace.com. Shannon's Special Gift for Listeners of The Divorce & Beyond Podcast: A very special 15-minute audio with 4 tips to start the shift in your thinking! You can access Shannon's gift here: https://lovestrengthandgrace.lpages.co/audio-training-whats-next-creating-a-powerful-shift-in-focus-after-divorce/ **************************************************************************** WANT TO BE A GUEST ON THE DIVORCE & BEYOND PODCAST? You can apply on the website: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/want-to-be-a-guest%3F ******************************************************************** SUSAN GUTHRIE, ESQ., the creator and host of The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, is nationally recognized as one of the top family law and divorce mediation attorneys in the country. She is one of the Co-Chair's of the American Bar Association's DR Section Mediation Committee and is the Founder of Divorce in a Better Way which provides a curated selection of resources and information for those facing divorce and other life changes. Susan also provides legal coaching and divorce mediation services to select clients around the world through an online platform. Find out more at www.divorceinabetterway.com. **************************************************************************** For Mediation Professionals: As one of the country's leading experts in online mediation, Susan is now sharing her expertise and knowledge and offering her ONLINE MEDIATION TRAINING PROGRAM which will show you how to implement an online platform into to your existing practice in just two short one-hour online sessions! Increase your potential client base, convenience and income by learning the ethical and practical considerations to know when mediating online! Find out more at www.learntomediateonline.com and mention you are a listener of the Divorce and Beyond Podcast to get $50 off the cost of the 1:1 training! Susan's Family Mediation Training Webinar: To find out more about Susan's BRAND NEW Divorce & Family Mediation Primer that will help you set up your family mediation practice, go to the website www.learntomediateonline.com! This webinar is focused specifically on the fundamentals of setting up a mediation process for parties facing divorce and other family law issues. Susan Guthrie, one of the leading family law and mediation attorneys in the country, shares her practice tips for providing a superior mediation experience to clients while also meeting your needs as a practitioner. The program will cover suggestions regarding: Establishing Processes and procedures Effective Consultations Efficient fact and data gathering Document preparation Establishing Fees and Packages Streamlined Use of an Agenda Mediation format both online and in-person and MORE! Efficiency, client satisfaction, technology and troubleshooting will be reviewed with an eye to making practitioners aware of technology that can be implemented to assist both mediator and clients. All live webinars will include a live Q & A with Susan at the end of the webinar for those who wish to stay online. Best of all? Each participant will receive a sample Consultation Checklist and Mediation Agenda for use in their own practice. This fast-paced webinar program will be conducted in one two-hour session and the LIVE Q & A will follow. Join us for the first webinar on: WEDNESDAY, JUNE 17TH AT 9 AM PT / 12 PM ET *************************************************************************** THIS WEEK'S SPONSOR INFORMATION: Gabrielle Hartley, the Creator of the Better Apart Method: Leading divorce lawyer, coach and mediator, Gabrielle Hartley's book book "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate" is a runaway best-seller and now she has created the Better Apart Master Class, available for download online, which provides powerful tools to help you get clear, feel better and reclaim your life! For a limited time you will receive a mini consultation with Gabrielle herself when you sign up for the Master Class. Listeners of the podcast receive $25 off the price of the Master Class with code "BEYOND25"!!! Susan's Family Mediation Training Webinar: To find out more about Susan's BRAND NEW Divorce & Family Mediation Primer go to the website www.learntomediateonline.com! If you would like to sponsor the show please reach out to us at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com for pricing and details!!! ******************************************************************** Don't forget to check out the Divorce & Beyond Podcast website at www.divorceandbeyondpod.com where you can find all of our episodes, links to sponsors and special offers and SIGN UP FOR THE FREE NEWSLETTER and Receive a Special Welcome Video from Susan! Remember to follow Susan Guthrie and THE DIVORCE AND BEYOND PODCAST on social media for updates and inside tips and information: Susan Guthrie on Facebook @Susan Guthrie Susan on Instagram @susanguthrieesq Susan on Twitter @guthrielaw Divorce & Beyond Podcast on Instagram @divorceandbeyond Divorce & Beyond on Twitter @DivorceBeyond If you want to see the video version of the podcast episodes they are available on The Divorce & Beyond YouTube Channel! Make sure to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss a single episode! Finally, we'd really appreciate it if you would give us a 5 Star Rating and tell us what you like about the show in a review - your feedback really matters to us! You can also get in touch with Susan at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com. **************************************************************************** DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
This conversation with Gabrielle Hartley, author of "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate," is not our usual health conversation. However, we felt the health factors around marriage stress were important to address during this pandemic. Divorce lawyer Gabrielle Hartley walks us through some of the best and worst decisions that can be made at this time, especially for couples who are experiencing stress yet unable to move apart because of financial or other constraints imposed by the pandemic. Gabrielle Hartley is a leading elite divorce strategy and wellness coach, mediator, attorney, consultant, speaker, and author.Gabrielle is known for her unique, non-toxic approach to divorce that she has developed over twenty five years. She keeps 99% of her cases out of the courtroom and at the negotiating table, as she effectively supports her clients to create a healthy, uplifted post-divorce life for them.After growing up in New York City, Gabrielle attended Cornell University and Brooklyn Law School. She served as court attorney for Judge Jeffrey Sunshine in NYC matrimonial court and is a member of the Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation. She currently resides in Northampton, MA with her husband and three sons.Click here to learn more about Gabrielle and her book, Better Apart.
"Everything is negotiable. Whether or not the negotiation is easy is another question." - Carrie Fisher Whether it is negotiating with the plumber who is going to fix your toilet, your twelve year old over cleaning her room or with your boss for a raise, we negotiate matters big and small every day. The difference is, when we sit down at the table to negotiate our divorce settlement with our soon to be ex-spouse, the emotions are high and the decisions can be some that will impact our lives and our family for years to come. We worry that we aren't up to the task but that is where Professor Andrea Schneider can help. She literally wrote THE book that teaches lawyers how to negotiate. Negotiation Essentials for Lawyers! In fact, Professor Schneider gives negotiation trainings around the world to law school students, corporations, law firms, court systems, and even other faculty and she is here to help you get ready for your divorce negotiation. Host Susan Guthrie and Professor Schneider review all the steps you need to take to arrive at the best settlement that you can, from pre-negotiation preparation to how to get your spouse to agree to what you want. This is essential listening not just for those who are divorcing, but really everyone, because these skills are necessary every day and in every way! Some Highlights from this episode: Find out why you may already have more negotiation skills than you think you do. What happens in a negotiation that gives you a signal that you need to pay attention because this is important? Why are the steps you take BEFORE the negotiation some of the most important and what are they? How do your goals, interests and limits play into your negotiation strategy? What does BOBO stand for and why do you need to know? How is a bicycle like the negotiation process? And so much more that will help you to negotiate a divorce agreement that works for you! More about this week's guest: Professor Andrea Schneider joined the faculty of Marquette University Law School in 1996. She teaches ADR, Negotiation, Ethics, and International Conflict Resolution. She is the inaugural director of the Institute for Women’s Leadership at Marquette University and also serves as the Director of the nationally ranked ADR program at Marquette University Law School. Professor Schneider is the author or co-author of numerous books and book chapters in the field of dispute resolution. Her most recently published works include Negotiating Crime: Plea Bargaining, Problem Solving and Dispute Resolution in the Criminal Context with Cynthia Alkon (Carolina Academic Press 2019) and Negotiation Essentials for Lawyers (ABA Publishing, 2019) and The Negotiator’s Desk Reference (DRI Press 2017) both co-edited with Chris Honeyman. Another recent book, which she co-authored with her father David Kupfer, is Smart & Savvy: Negotiation Strategies in Academia (Meadows Communication 2017). Her textbooks include Dispute Resolution: Examples and Explanations (Aspen 2009, 2nd ed. 2011, 3rd ed. 2014) with Michael Moffitt as well as Negotiation: Processes For Problem-Solving (Aspen 2006, 2nd ed. 2014), Mediation: Practice, Policy & Ethics (Aspen 2006, 2nd ed. 2013) and Dispute Resolution: Beyond The Adversarial Model (Aspen 2005, 2nd ed. 2011, 3rd ed 2019), with Carrie Menkel-Meadow, Lela Love & Michael Moffitt. She also is a co-author of two additional books on negotiation with Roger Fisher, Beyond Machiavelli: Tools for Coping with Conflict (Harvard University Press 1994) and Coping with International Conflict (Prentice-Hall 1997). Professor Schneider also wrote Creating the Musee The Politics of Culture in France (Penn State Press, 1998). Professor Schneider has published numerous articles on negotiation, pedagogy, ethics, gender and international conflict. She currently serves as the co-editor of the ABA Dispute Resolution Magazine and on the Board of Advisors for the Saltman Center for Conflict Resolution at UNLV School of Law. You can reach Professor Schneider at andrea.schneider@marquette.edu and can purchase her book, Negotiation Essentials for Lawyers, by clicking the title or go here: https://amzn.to/2Y9o8o7! **************************************************************************** WANT TO BE A GUEST ON THE DIVORCE & BEYOND PODCAST? You can apply on the website: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/want-to-be-a-guest%3F ******************************************************************** SUSAN GUTHRIE, ESQ., the creator and host of The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, is nationally recognized as one of the top family law and divorce mediation attorneys in the country. She is one of the Co-Chair's of the American Bar Association's DR Section Mediation Committee and is the Founder of Divorce in a Better Way which provides a curated selection of resources and information for those facing divorce and other life changes. Susan also provides legal coaching and divorce mediation services to select clients around the world through an online platform. Find out more at www.divorceinabetterway.com. **************************************************************************** For Mediation Professionals: As one of the country's leading experts in online mediation, Susan is now sharing her expertise and knowledge and offering her ONLINE MEDIATION TRAINING PROGRAM which will show you how to implement an online platform into to your existing practice in just two short one-hour online sessions! Increase your potential client base, convenience and income by learning the ethical and practical considerations to know when mediating online! Find out more at www.learntomediateonline.com and mention you are a listener of the Divorce and Beyond Podcast to get $50 off the cost of the 1:1 training! Susan's Family Mediation Training Webinar: To find out more about Susan's BRAND NEW Divorce & Family Mediation Primer that will help you set up your family mediation practice, go to the website www.learntomediateonline.com! This webinar is focused specifically on the fundamentals of setting up a mediation process for parties facing divorce and other family law issues. Susan Guthrie, one of the leading family law and mediation attorneys in the country, shares her practice tips for providing a superior mediation experience to clients while also meeting your needs as a practitioner. The program will cover suggestions regarding: Establishing Processes and procedures Effective Consultations Efficient fact and data gathering Document preparation Establishing Fees and Packages Streamlined Use of an Agenda Mediation format both online and in-person and MORE! Efficiency, client satisfaction, technology and troubleshooting will be reviewed with an eye to making practitioners aware of technology that can be implemented to assist both mediator and clients. All live webinars will include a live Q & A with Susan at the end of the webinar for those who wish to stay online. Best of all? Each participant will receive a sample Consultation Checklist and Mediation Agenda for use in their own practice. This fast-paced webinar program will be conducted in one two-hour session and the LIVE Q & A will follow. Join us for the first webinar on: WEDNESDAY, JUNE 17TH AT 9 AM PT / 12 PM ET *************************************************************************** THIS WEEK'S SPONSOR INFORMATION: Gabrielle Hartley, the Creator of the Better Apart Method: Leading divorce lawyer, coach and mediator, Gabrielle Hartley's book book "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate" is a runaway best-seller and now she has created the Better Apart Master Class, available for download online, which provides powerful tools to help you get clear, feel better and reclaim your life! For a limited time you will receive a mini consultation with Gabrielle herself when you sign up for the Master Class. Listeners of the podcast receive $25 off the price of the Master Class with code "BEYOND25"!!! Susan's Family Mediation Training Webinar: To find out more about Susan's BRAND NEW Divorce & Family Mediation Primer go to the website www.learntomediateonline.com! If you would like to sponsor the show please reach out to us at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com for pricing and details!!! ******************************************************************** Don't forget to check out the Divorce & Beyond Podcast website at www.divorceandbeyondpod.com where you can find all of our episodes, links to sponsors and special offers and SIGN UP FOR THE FREE NEWSLETTER and Receive a Special Welcome Video from Susan! Remember to follow Susan Guthrie and THE DIVORCE AND BEYOND PODCAST on social media for updates and inside tips and information: Susan Guthrie on Facebook @Susan Guthrie Susan on Instagram @susanguthrieesq Susan on Twitter @guthrielaw Divorce & Beyond Podcast on Instagram @divorceandbeyond Divorce & Beyond on Twitter @DivorceBeyond If you want to see the video version of the podcast episodes they are available on The Divorce & Beyond YouTube Channel! Make sure to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss a single episode! Finally, we'd really appreciate it if you would give us a 5 Star Rating and tell us what you like about the show in a review - your feedback really matters to us! You can also get in touch with Susan at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com. **************************************************************************** DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
The portrayal of divorce in the media doesn’t put people going through a split on a healthy or healing path. An acrimonious and bitter divorce does not create the inner narratives that bring emotional freedom or the legacy we want to give our children. We require a space for patience and positivity, a process that will improve our lives going forward. This is where the Better Apart Method comes in. What steps do we need to take to heal and live more wholeheartedly after a divorce? How do mantras envelope our thinking and change our way of being? How do we grieve our marriages in a constructive way? In this episode, I’m joined by divorce lawyer mediator, author, speaker and founder of the Better Apart Method, Gabrielle Hartley. She talks about a different approach to divorce, and why it’s changing lives. 3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode - How to go from reacting in a heightened state to responding from a thoughtful and neutral place - Gabrielle’s process for creating a shift in our narratives to get ourselves on the right track - An insight into the difference between a broken home and a transformed home Guest Bio Gabrielle Hartley, Esq., is an experienced compassionate and effective divorce lawyer mediator, author and speaker. For the last 25 years, she has served couples in reaching a reasonable resolution. She is well-known for keeping 99% of her cases at the negotiation table and out of the courtroom and for launching The Positive Divorce Movement. Gabrielle founded The Better Apart Method, authored Better Apart; The Radically Positively Way to Separate and is the Founder of The Better Apart Method Online Certification. For more information and to get Gabrielle’s Survive and Thrive giveaway, and to buy her 6-week online program visit gabriellehartley.com. Buy Gabrielle’s book Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate on Amazon. Feeling stuck and unable to move forward? Get 5 proven tips to get unstuck while waiting for your divorce to be done. Click here to download instantly. (https://www.wendysterling.net/5-Free-Tips-To-Move-Forward)
On this week's episode, which is Part Two of a Special Two-Part Episode, Susan Guthrie, nationally recognized family law attorney and mediator, continues her conversation with Nikki DeBartolo and Benjamin Heldfond, the authors of "Our Happy Divorce: How Ending Our Marriage Brought Us Together" which shares their journey through marriage, divorce and finding a different kind of love. "Our Happy Divorce" - Now that you have listened to Part One of this interview (If you haven't heard it yet, click here) , I know that you too must be a huge fan of Nikki and Ben's story and there is so much more to hear! In Part One, we heard their unusual path to create their own definition of divorce and how they measured every decision that they made by the phrase "What's best for Asher?" Now, in Part Two, Nikki DeBartolo and Benjamin Heldfond share the details of their journey after the divorce was final and they both moved into new relationships and a new relationship with each other. As Ben says in the episode, "if Nikki and I can do it, then anyone can do it!" Find out how they made it all work and hear how things are now, 13 years down the road. You will be inspired - Listen now! Highlights from this episode: Nikki and Ben hit a major roadblock soon after the divorce was final - find out what that was and how they handled it. How have Ben and Nikki continued to measure everything by "What's best for Asher as they moved into their new lives?" How did Nikki and Nadia meet for the first time, and what role did Asher play in the introduction? What did Chad do that won Ben over? Why is the last chapter of the book so significant? Ben and Nikki forged their own path through divorce and created a new and lasting love, relationship and family. Listen to this episode to find out how you can do the same! More about Nikki and Ben: From weeknight dinners and homework sessions with their son to Christmas card photos and vacations, Nikki DeBartolo and Benjamin Heldfond have created a tight-knit, enviable family. They work and play well together, from the smallest daily tasks to the biggest life events—and it only took a divorce to get them there. Though their marriage has been over for nearly a decade, they still share a happy life with each other and their son Asher, along with their new amazing spouses and children. Nikki knows how being supported by a strong, loving family can influence the way a person navigates life, love, marriage, and motherhood. Having grown up as a member of the iconic San Francisco 49ers football family, she was thrown into the limelight at a young age. The values her family instilled in her have helped shape who she is today, and she continues to live by them. Ben intimately understands the detriment divorce can cause in the lives of children. The example of his parents’ divorce instilled in him a deep commitment to do better by his own kids. Ben is an investor, board member, philanthropist, golfer, and sports enthusiast. But above all, he is a dedicated father and family man who understands the importance of putting his ego aside and his children first. You can find out more about Our Happy Divorce, Ben and Nikki at www.ourhappydivorce.com Follow Our Happy Divorce on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Buy the Book on Amazon or on the website www.ourhappydivorce.com. You can also reach out to Ben and Nikki for a FREE COPY of the book - just mention The Divorce & Beyond Podcast! The best way to reach them is to DM them on Instagram at @ourhappydivorce. Read the Our Happy Divorce Guest Blog on Gabrielle Hartley's Better Apart website! ******************************************************************** SUSAN GUTHRIE, ESQ., the creator and host of The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, is nationally recognized as one of the top family law and divorce mediation attorneys in the country. She is one of the Co-Chair's of the American Bar Association's DR Section Mediation Committee and is the Founder of Divorce in a Better Way which provides a curated selection of resources and information for those facing divorce and other life changes. Susan also provides legal coaching and divorce mediation services to select clients around the world through an online platform. Find out more at www.divorceinabetterway.com. **************************************************************************** THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Gabrielle Hartley, the Creator of the Better Apart Method: Leading divorce lawyer, coach and mediator, Gabrielle Hartley's book book "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate" is a runaway best-seller and now she has created the Better Apart Master Class, available for download online, which provides powerful tools to help you get clear, feel better and reclaim your life! For a limited time you will receive a mini consultation with Gabrielle herself when you sign up for the Master Class. Listeners of the podcast receive $25 off the price of the Master Class with code "BEYOND25"!!! For Divorce Professionals: As one of the country's leading experts in online mediation, Susan is now sharing her expertise and knowledge and offering her ONLINE MEDIATION TRAINING PROGRAM which will show you how to implement an online platform into to your existing practice in just two short one-hour online sessions! Increase your potential client base, convenience and income by learning the ethical and practical considerations to know when mediating online! Find out more at www.learntomediateonline.com and mention you are a listener of the Divorce and Beyond Podcast to get $50 off the cost of the 1:1 training! If you would like to sponsor the show please reach out to us at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com for pricing and details!!! ******************************************************************** Don't forget to check out the Divorce & Beyond Podcast website at www.divorceandbeyondpod.com where you can find all of our episodes, links to sponsors and special offers and SIGN UP FOR THE FREE NEWSLETTER and Receive a Special Welcome Video from Susan! Remember to follow Susan Guthrie and THE DIVORCE AND BEYOND PODCAST on social media for updates and inside tips and information: Susan Guthrie on Facebook @Susan Guthrie Susan on Instagram @susanguthrieesq Susan on Twitter @guthrielaw Divorce & Beyond Podcast on Instagram @divorceandbeyond Divorce & Beyond on Twitter @DivorceBeyond If you want to see the video version of the podcast episodes they are available on The Divorce & Beyond YouTube Channel! Make sure to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss a single episode! Finally, we'd really appreciate it if you would give us a 5 Star Rating and tell us what you like about the show in a review - your feedback really matters to us! You can also get in touch with Susan at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com. **************************************************************************** DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE AND COUNSEL.
In this episode we discuss important advice for anyone seeking to live a happier, more peaceful life, regardless of relationship status. Gabrielle Hartley is a divorce attorney who helps couples navigate divorce in a non-toxic way. Her book is endorsed by Gwyneth Paltrow and reveals Gabrielle’s unique approach which keeps 99% of clients out of the courtroom. In addition to being an attorney, Gabrielle is a coach, mediator, speaker and author of Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate.
On this week's episode, which is Part One of a Special Two-Part Episode, Susan Guthrie, nationally recognized family law attorney and mediator, speaks with Nikki DeBartolo and Benjamin Heldfond, the authors of "Our Happy Divorce: How Ending Our Marriage Brought Us Together" which shares their journey through marriage, divorce and finding a different kind of love. "Our Happy Divorce", I love this book, I truly do, and not just because it has a happy ending. I love it because it tells a truthful tale of one couples' journey through the pain of divorce, which started out as many do, with anger, hurt and a "shark attorney", but but then reveals how they pulled back and found a different path that allowed for forgiveness, hope and a new kind of love. Nikki DeBartolo and Benjamin Heldfond share the details of how they created a new life, a new definition of family and came to love each other again, just in a different way. Make no mistake, this was not an easy path, but they share the actual steps that helped them to get there. This is so important, that it just had to be a special two-part episode so that we could cover it all. Find out why I say that this book should be required reading for all couples contemplating divorce and LISTEN TODAY! Highlights from this episode: Find out what role the "shark attorney" played in the Happy Divorce. How did Ben and Nikki clean up their side of the street so that they could move forward? What impact did Ben and Nikki's very different childhoods have on their Happy Divorce? Why does Ben say that "nothing good comes from living in the past? What was the one overriding principal that Nikki and Ben measured every decision by and still do? Ben and Nikki found a way to avoid the worst of divorce and successfully restructure their family. Listen to this episode to find out how you can do the same! More about Nikki and Ben: From weeknight dinners and homework sessions with their son to Christmas card photos and vacations, Nikki DeBartolo and Benjamin Heldfond have created a tight-knit, enviable family. They work and play well together, from the smallest daily tasks to the biggest life events—and it only took a divorce to get them there. Though their marriage has been over for nearly a decade, they still share a happy life with each other and their son Asher, along with their new amazing spouses and children. Nikki knows how being supported by a strong, loving family can influence the way a person navigates life, love, marriage, and motherhood. Having grown up as a member of the iconic San Francisco 49ers football family, she was thrown into the limelight at a young age. The values her family instilled in her have helped shape who she is today, and she continues to live by them. Ben intimately understands the detriment divorce can cause in the lives of children. The example of his parents’ divorce instilled in him a deep commitment to do better by his own kids. Ben is an investor, board member, philanthropist, golfer, and sports enthusiast. But above all, he is a dedicated father and family man who understands the importance of putting his ego aside and his children first. You can find out more about Our Happy Divorce, Ben and Nikki at www.ourhappydivorce.com Follow Our Happy Divorce on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Buy the Book on Amazon or on the website www.ourhappydivorce.com. Read the Our Happy Divorce Guest Blog on Gabrielle Hartley's Better Apart website. ******************************************************************** SUSAN GUTHRIE, ESQ., the creator and host of The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, is nationally recognized as one of the top family law and divorce mediation attorneys in the country. She is one of the Co-Chair's of the American Bar Association's DR Section Mediation Committee and is the Founder of Divorce in a Better Way which provides a curated selection of resources and information for those facing divorce and other life changes. Susan also provides legal coaching and divorce mediation services to select clients around the world through an online platform. Find out more at www.divorceinabetterway.com. **************************************************************************** THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Gabrielle Hartley, the Creator of the Better Apart Method: Leading divorce lawyer, coach and mediator, Gabrielle Hartley's book book "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate" is a runaway best-seller and now she has created the Better Apart Master Class, available for download online, which provides powerful tools to help you get clear, feel better and reclaim your life! For a limited time you will receive a mini consultation with Gabrielle herself when you sign up for the Master Class. Listeners of the podcast receive $25 off the price of the Master Class with code "BEYOND25"!!! If you would like to sponsor the show please reach out to us at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com for pricing and details!!! For Divorce Professionals: As one of the country's leading experts in online mediation, Susan is now sharing her expertise and knowledge and offering her ONLINE MEDIATION TRAINING PROGRAM which will show you how to implement an online platform into to your existing practice in just two short one-hour online sessions! Increase your potential client base, convenience and income by learning the ethical and practical considerations to know when mediating online! Find out more at www.learntomediateonline.com and mention you are a listener of the Divorce and Beyond Podcast to get $50 off the cost of the 1:1 training! ******************************************************************** Don't forget to check out the Divorce & Beyond Podcast website at www.divorceandbeyondpod.com where you can find all of our episodes, links to sponsors and special offers and SIGN UP FOR THE FREE NEWSLETTER and Receive a Special Welcome Video from Susan! Remember to follow Susan Guthrie and THE DIVORCE AND BEYOND PODCAST on social media for updates and inside tips and information: Susan Guthrie on Facebook @Susan Guthrie Susan on Instagram @susanguthrieesq Susan on Twitter @guthrielaw Divorce & Beyond Podcast on Instagram @divorceandbeyond Divorce & Beyond on Twitter @DivorceBeyond If you want to see the video version of the podcast episodes they are available on The Divorce & Beyond YouTube Channel! Make sure to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss a single episode! Finally, we'd really appreciate it if you would give us a 5 Star Rating and tell us what you like about the show in a review - your feedback really matters to us! You can also get in touch with Susan at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com. **************************************************************************** DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE AND COUNSEL.
In this episode, Susan Guthrie, top family law attorney and mediator, and the former host of Breaking Free: A Modern Divorce Podcast, chats with Trina Leckie, Host of the popular breakup BOOST Podcast who shares her sought after advice and truisms about dating, breaking up and being single in the 2020s and BEYOND! When you are trying to recover from a breakup, be it divorce or a split from your significant other, we all need a best friend's shoulder to cry on and Trina Leckie, host of the very popular breakup BOOST Podcast, is your go-to-guide for getting through these tough times. Trina is known for her tough love and practical advice and she has a lot to share on how to move beyond that breakup and much more about dating in the age of apps, romance and how to be alone as you navigate the world of 21st century relationships. Some HIGHLIGHTS from this Episode: Where has all the romance gone and can you still find it? What is "stacking dates" and why are people doing it these days? What does it mean if your date "ghosts" you? Find out what Trina's #1 Rule after a breakup is and why it's the key to healing quickly. What does Trina mean when she says "you are single, not alone? If you are newly single in the 2020s this is your roadmap to dating and love in the new age so LISTEN TODAY! MORE ABOUT TODAY'S GUEST: Trina Leckie is the host of the popular breakup BOOST podcast where she provides straightforward, no-nonsense advice for all of your breakup, relationship, and dating issues. Her goal is to REVOLUTIONIZE the way people deal with heartbreak to enable them to heal their hearts at a faster rate and get them back in the dating saddle. She also provides personalized coaching for anyone struggling, seeking guidance, or just needing someone to talk to. You can find Trina's podcast, breakup BOOST HERE and be sure to follow her on Instagram (@breakupboost) and Facebook (@breakupboost)! ******************************************************************** SUSAN GUTHRIE, ESQ., the creator and host of The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, is nationally recognized as one of the top family law and divorce mediation attorneys in the country. She is one of the Co-Chair's of the American Bar Association's DR Section Mediation Committee and is the Founder of Divorce in a Better Way which provides a curated selection of resources and information for those facing divorce and other life changes. Susan also provides legal coaching and divorce mediation services to select clients around the world through an online platform. Find out more at www.divorceinabetterway.com. **************************************************************************** For Divorce Professionals: As one of the country's leading experts in online mediation, Susan is now sharing her expertise and knowledge and offering her ONLINE MEDIATION TRAINING PROGRAM which will show you how to implement an online platform into to your existing practice in just two short one-hour online sessions! Increase your potential client base, convenience and income by learning the ethical and practical considerations to know when mediating online! Find out more at www.learntomediateonline.com and mention you are a listener of the Divorce and Beyond Podcast to get $50 off the cost of the 1:1 training! *************************************************************************** THIS WEEK'S SPONSOR INFORMATION: Gabrielle Hartley, the Creator of the Better Apart Method: Leading divorce lawyer, coach and mediator, Gabrielle Hartley's book book "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate" is a runaway best-seller and now she has created the Better Apart Master Class, available for download online, which provides powerful tools to help you get clear, feel better and reclaim your life! For a limited time you will receive a mini consultation with Gabrielle herself when you sign up for the Master Class. Listeners of the podcast receive $25 off the price of the Master Class with code "BEYOND25"!!! FAYR, the BEST Co-Parenting App on the Market! What makes FAYR different? At FAYR it's not just about efficiency and ease (though they love those). They also help you create a better co-parenting experience by providing tools for: constructive communication, argument diffusion, and emotional support. For information on our FAYR, the ONLY co-parenting app recommended by Susan Guthrie and The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, visit their website at www.fayr.com. Don't forget to use the code "SUSANG18" for 20% off!! If you would like to sponsor the show please reach out to us at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com for pricing and details!!! ******************************************************************** Don't forget to check out the Divorce & Beyond Podcast website at www.divorceandbeyondpod.com where you can find all of our episodes, links to sponsors and special offers and SIGN UP FOR THE FREE NEWSLETTER and Receive a Special Welcome Video from Susan! Remember to follow Susan Guthrie and THE DIVORCE AND BEYOND PODCAST on social media for updates and inside tips and information: Susan Guthrie on Facebook @Susan Guthrie Susan on Instagram @susanguthrieesq Susan on Twitter @guthrielaw Divorce & Beyond Podcast on Instagram @divorceandbeyond Divorce & Beyond on Twitter @DivorceBeyond If you want to see the video version of the podcast episodes they are available on The Divorce & Beyond YouTube Channel! Make sure to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss a single episode! Finally, we'd really appreciate it if you would give us a 5 Star Rating and tell us what you like about the show in a review - your feedback really matters to us! You can also get in touch with Susan at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com. **************************************************************************** DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
In this episode, Susan Guthrie, top family law attorney and mediator, and the former host of Breaking Free: A Modern Divorce Podcast, speaks with one of the country's leading divorce financial professionals, Heather Locus, CPA, CFP, CDFA (look at all those initials!), who shares essential financial factors to consider when negotiating your divorce settlement. Getting a divorce can be one of the scariest experiences that we will ever go through, and much of that fear is worry about finances. When you take everything that you are your spouse have and split it two ways, it's inevitable that there will be less to go around. Heather Locus, CPA, CFP, CDFA, one of the country's leading divorce financial professionals knows the fear and uncertainty that people feel when it comes to their money and divorce and she helps people navigate those choppy waters every day. Heather shares her insights and top tips for you to be aware of as you negotiate your divorce settlement including alimony, property division, retirement assets, taxes, health insurance and more. If you are facing divorce, do not negotiate anything without listening to this episode first! Some HIGHLIGHTS from this Episode: Find out what ostrich syndrome is and why it can be so costly. Why is alimony the scariest word in divorce? Why is flexibility the key to negotiating the best settlement? How do you create your divorce bucket list? Hear Heather's insights on focusing on the NEXT CHAPTER so you can move BEYOND! All this and much, much more so be sure to listen today! MORE ABOUT TODAY'S GUEST: Heather Locus, CPA, CFP, CDFA is passionate about helping people make complex decisions. As an owner of Balasa Dinverno Foltz, LLC, a national independent private wealth management firm, Heather is head of their Divorce Practice Group, and founder of their Women’s Service Team, she solves problems by balancing the emotional and behavioral components of financial decisions with the tax and legal issues. Since taking the right steps at every turn matters, Heather empowers divorcing men and women to make sound decisions throughout all the phases of divorce. Often as the first divorce professional people talk to, she helps families hire the best-fit attorneys, mediator or other professionals needed. Heather and her team assist in key decisions such as whether to settle or continue negotiations, then fully implement separating assets and managing the investments to fund a full life post-divorce. Heather uses her technical knowledge and first-hand experience to guide people through this unsettling situation to create a full life as they redefine it. She authored The Next Chapter: A Practical Roadmap for Navigating Through, and Beyond, Divorce and is a regular contributor to Forbes.com A Forbes “America’s Top Women Advisor,” Heather is also a six-time “Five Star Wealth Manager” according to Chicago Magazine, was named an “Influential Women in Business” by The Business Ledger, a “Top 200 Wealth Advisor Mom” by Working Mother, and an Investment News “Woman to Watch”. She has contributed to various publications such as The Wall Street Journal, Crain’s Chicago Business, Family Lawyer Magazine and Divorce Magazine on topics ranging from how to protect an estate during a divorce to key financial considerations before signing a divorce settlement or prenuptial agreement. Through presentations including “The Financially Responsible Woman: Five Strategies for a Full Life” and “When I Do Becomes I Don’t: Five Strategies for a Financially Responsible Divorce, Heather educates women and men on how to transition through new phases of their life with confidence and peace of mind. You can reach Heather by email at hlocus@bdfllc.com. The firm's website is www.bdfllc.com where you can find more information about Heather, BDF and the free resources that she mentioned on the podcast. Heather's Free Gift: The first three listeners who reach out to Heather by email at hlocus@bdfllc.com and put "The Divorce & Beyond Podcast" in the subject line will receive a copy of Heather's book, "The Next Chapter: A Practical Roadmap for Navigating Through, and Beyond, Divorce!" ******************************************************************** SUSAN GUTHRIE, ESQ., the creator and host of The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, is nationally recognized as one of the top family law and divorce mediation attorneys in the country. She is one of the Co-Chair's of the American Bar Association's DR Section Mediation Committee and is the Founder of Divorce in a Better Way which provides a curated selection of resources and information for those facing divorce and other life changes. Susan also provides legal coaching and divorce mediation services to select clients around the world through an online platform. Find out more at www.divorceinabetterway.com. **************************************************************************** For Divorce Professionals: As one of the country's leading experts in online mediation, Susan is now sharing her expertise and knowledge and offering her ONLINE MEDIATION TRAINING PROGRAM which will show you how to implement an online platform into to your existing practice in just two short one-hour online sessions! Increase your potential client base, convenience and income by learning the ethical and practical considerations to know when mediating online! Find out more at www.learntomediateonline.com and mention you are a listener of the Divorce and Beyond Podcast to get $50 off the cost of the 1:1 training! *************************************************************************** THIS WEEK'S SPONSOR INFORMATION: Gabrielle Hartley, the Creator of the Better Apart Method: Leading divorce lawyer, coach and mediator, Gabrielle Hartley's book book "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate" is a runaway best-seller and now she has created the Better Apart Master Class, available for download online, which provides powerful tools to help you get clear, feel better and reclaim your life! For a limited time you will receive a mini consultation with Gabrielle herself when you sign up for the Master Class. Listeners of the podcast receive $25 off the price of the Master Class with code "BEYOND25"!!! FAYR, the BEST Co-Parenting App on the Market! What makes FAYR different? At FAYR it's not just about efficiency and ease (though they love those). They also help you create a better co-parenting experience by providing tools for: constructive communication, argument diffusion, and emotional support. For information on our FAYR, the ONLY co-parenting app recommended by Susan Guthrie and The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, visit their website at www.fayr.com. Don't forget to use the code "SUSANG18" for 20% off!! LIMITED SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES ARE AVAILABLE: If you would like to sponsor the show please reach out to us at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com for pricing and details!!! ******************************************************************** Don't forget to check out the Divorce & Beyond Podcast website at www.divorceandbeyondpod.com where you can find all of our episodes, links to sponsors and special offers and SIGN UP FOR THE FREE NEWSLETTER and Receive a Special Welcome Video from Susan! Remember to follow Susan Guthrie and THE DIVORCE AND BEYOND PODCAST on social media for updates and inside tips and information: Susan Guthrie on Facebook @Susan Guthrie Susan on Instagram @susanguthrieesq Susan on Twitter @guthrielaw Divorce & Beyond Podcast on Instagram @divorceandbeyond Divorce & Beyond on Twitter @DivorceBeyond If you want to see the video version of the podcast episodes they are available on The Divorce & Beyond YouTube Channel! Make sure to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss a single episode! Finally, we'd really appreciate it if you would give us a 5 Star Rating and tell us what you like about the show in a review - your feedback really matters to us! You can also get in touch with Susan at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com. **************************************************************************** DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Disclaimer: No representation is being made that any strategy shown will or is likely to achieve results similar to those shown in this presentation. BDF does not provide legal, tax, insurance, social security or accounting advice. Clients of BDF should obtain their own independent tax, insurance and legal advice based on their particular circumstances. The information herein is provided solely to educate on a variety of topics, including wealth planning, tax considerations, insurance, estate, gift and philanthropic planning. Past performance may not be indicative of future results. Different types of investments involve varying degrees of risk. Future performance of any investment or wealth management strategy, including those recommended by Balasa Dinverno Foltz LLC (BDF), may not be profitable, suitable for you, prove successful or equal historical indices. Historical indices do not reflect the deduction of transaction, custodial or investment management fees, which would diminish results. Any historical index performance figures are for comparison purposes only and client account holdings will not directly correspond to any such data. BDF clients must, in writing, advise BDF of personal, financial or investment objective changes and any restrictions desired on BDF’s services so that BDF may re-evaluate its previous recommendations and adjust its investment advisory services. BDF’s current written disclosure statement discussing advisory services and fees is available for review at www.BDFLLC.com or upon request.
In this episode, Susan Guthrie, top family law attorney and mediator, and the former host of Breaking Free: A Modern Divorce Podcast, chats with Dr. Debi Silber, the Founder of the PBT (Post-Betrayal Transformation) Institute, about the trauma caused by betrayal and how you can heal and move forward to a better future! As Dr. Debi says "The best revenge is a life well lived" so listen to this episode today, start healing so that you can live your best life! Betrayal - the word alone can create a lump in your stomach. Whether it is a loved one, a friend, a colleague or even a stranger, the effects of betrayal are all-encompassing and extremely hard to move beyond. The betrayal can impact our lives for years to come, sometime forever but Dr. Debi Silber is THE expert in helping people to move beyond betrayal to live their lives healed, renewed and with a new world view. She has created her successful program that helps people to move through the 5 stages of betrayal to heal all aspects of their lives and to build a new foundation upon which to move into their future. If you are ready to find out how your biggest crisis can reveal your greatest gift, listen to this episode and GET READY TO HEAL! Some HIGHLIGHTS from this Episode: What is betrayal and why is it so devastating? Why does Dr. Debi say that "even though it happened to you, it's not about you?" What are the 5 stages of betrayal and healing and where are you? What are the three reasons that people don't heal from betrayal Why does Dr. Debi say that failure to heal can be like and addiction? All this and her top tips to start the healing process so LISTEN TODAY! Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute https://PBTInstitute.com is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development speaker, author and mentor who helps people heal from Post Betrayal Syndrome. She’s the author of the Amazon #1 bestselling book: The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind and Life After a Life Crisis, and has contributed to The Dr. Oz show, FOX, CBS, The Huffington Post, Forbes, Psychology Today, Health, Shape, WebMD, and Glamour to name a few. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal-what holds us back, what helps us heal and what happens to us (physically, mentally and emotionally) when the people closest to us lie, cheat and deceive made three groundbreaking discoveries. Her proven process, birthed from those discoveries, has helped thousands of people fully heal from betrayal; enabling them to thrive in their relationships, work, health and life. You can view Dr. Debi's latest TEDx Talk, "Do You Have Post-Betrayal Syndrome?" HERE! Dr. Debi's Free Gift: Take the "Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz" and find out if you have PBS, what stage you are in, and get tips for healing by email! ******************************************************************** SUSAN GUTHRIE, ESQ., the creator and host of The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, is nationally recognized as one of the top family law and divorce mediation attorneys in the country. She is one of the Co-Chair's of the American Bar Association's DR Section Mediation Committee and is the Founder of Divorce in a Better Way which provides a curated selection of resources and information for those facing divorce and other life changes. Susan also provides legal coaching and divorce mediation services to select clients around the world through an online platform. Find out more at www.divorceinabetterway.com. **************************************************************************** For Divorce Professionals: As one of the country's leading experts in online mediation, Susan is now sharing her expertise and knowledge and offering her ONLINE MEDIATION TRAINING PROGRAM which will show you how to implement an online platform into to your existing practice in just two short one-hour online sessions! Increase your potential client base, convenience and income by learning the ethical and practical considerations to know when mediating online! Find out more at www.learntomediateonline.com and mention you are a listener of the Divorce and Beyond Podcast to get $50 off the cost of the 1:1 training! *************************************************************************** THIS WEEK'S SPONSOR INFORMATION: Gabrielle Hartley, the Creator of the Better Apart Method: Leading divorce lawyer, coach and mediator, Gabrielle Hartley's book book "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate" is a runaway best-seller and now she has created the Better Apart Master Class, available for download online, which provides powerful tools to help you get clear, feel better and reclaim your life! For a limited time you will receive a mini consultation with Gabrielle herself when you sign up for the Master Class. Listeners of the podcast receive $25 off the price of the Master Class with code "BEYOND25"!!! FAYR, the BEST Co-Parenting App on the Market! What makes FAYR different? At FAYR it's not just about efficiency and ease (though they love those). They also help you create a better co-parenting experience by providing tools for: constructive communication, argument diffusion, and emotional support. For information on our FAYR, the ONLY co-parenting app recommended by Susan Guthrie and The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, visit their website at www.fayr.com. Don't forget to use the code "SUSANG18" for 20% off!! If you would like to sponsor the show please reach out to us at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com for pricing and details!!! ******************************************************************** Don't forget to check out the Divorce & Beyond Podcast website at www.divorceandbeyondpod.com where you can find all of our episodes, links to sponsors and special offers and SIGN UP FOR THE FREE NEWSLETTER and Receive a Special Welcome Video from Susan! Remember to follow Susan Guthrie and THE DIVORCE AND BEYOND PODCAST on social media for updates and inside tips and information: Susan Guthrie on Facebook @Susan Guthrie Susan on Instagram @susanguthrieesq Susan on Twitter @guthrielaw Divorce & Beyond Podcast on Instagram @divorceandbeyond Divorce & Beyond on Twitter @DivorceBeyond If you want to see the video version of the podcast episodes they are available on The Divorce & Beyond YouTube Channel! Make sure to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss a single episode! Finally, we'd really appreciate it if you would give us a 5 Star Rating and tell us what you like about the show in a review - your feedback really matters to us! You can also get in touch with Susan at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com. **************************************************************************** DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
In this episode, Susan Guthrie, top family law attorney and mediator, and the former host of Breaking Free: A Modern Divorce Podcast, chats with The Divorcierge, Karen Bigman, about her top tips to help you manage your Divorce like a Boss and importantly, how to avoid the pitfalls that so many people make. Each year, January arrives with a flurry of divorce filings earning it the moniker the "Divorce Month." The stress of the hoidays and the fresh beginning that so many seek at the start of a new year, combine to spur many to decide that divorce is the right path for them. Often however, life only gets more complicated as the myriad of details, decisions and emotions that are involved in the process are overwhelming and mistakes are often made. Karen Bigman, The Divorcierge, specializes in helping people to manage their divorce in all stages, from pre-divorce planning, through the process and into life beyond. Much as a hotel concierge has special training and knowledge to help you to navigate your destination city, Karen is the project manager who helps clients to take charge of their divorce process and their lives. Karen shares invaluable tips and advice for getting on top of your divorce and this episode will help you to avoid the pitfalls that so many fall into. After all, you don't know what you don't know - but Karen does! Take a listen to this episode and manage your divorce rather than letting the process manage you! Here are some highlights from the episode: 7:00 How a Divorce Concierge can help you to navigate your divorce. 9:30 How to combat the fear and negative emotions you feel when facing divorce. 13:25 Why failing to prepare for life after divorce is a big pitfall and what to do. 16:00 Some things to think about even if your kids are 18 or older. 28:30 What is the "Greek Chorus" and how can it negatively affect your divorce. 30:15 How a Divorce Concierge or other divorce professional can SAVE you money in your divorce. Karen Bigman, The Divorcierge, partners with individuals going through divorce, consulting with them on how to navigate the emotional, financial and logistical issues. She uses her own divorce experience and her compassion for individuals navigating high-conflict divorce to act as a confidante and non-judgemental advocate for her clients. Karen’s work includes pre-divorce planning, helping clients to hire their divorce team, completing preliminary financial statements and organizing the myriad of documents for discovery. Her services include on-going one-on-one coaching including career and dating post-divorce. The Divorcierge also holds divorce & financial workshops & seminars in the New York City area. The Divorcierge has become global and now grown to include male clients. Karen’s background includes a B.S.B.A. from Boston University, a M.B.A. from Columbia Business School, Martha Beck Life Coach and iPEC Coach certification. Karen is a CDC® Certified Divorce Coach. Her articles have been featured in the Huffington Post, Medium, YourTango.com, NextTribe.com and BetterAfter50. You can find out more about Karen Bigman, The Divorcierge, her services, her NYC Workshops, Support Group and her program "Breaking the Divorce Code: The Ultimate Guide to Divorce" on her website www.thedivorcierge.com. Listeners of the podcast will receive $25 off the program cost by using the codes: Breaking The Divorce Code: The Ultimate Guide to Divorce (Basic). COUPON CODE: BEYONDCAST25 Breaking the Divorce Code: The Ultimate Guide to Divorce (Basic Plus). COUPON CODE: BEYONDCASTPLUS25 ********************************************************************* Links to Resources referenced in this episode: Divorced Girl Smiling Worthy.com DComply.com Hello Divorce It's Over Easy Lili Vasileff, CDFA ******************************************************************** SUSAN GUTHRIE, ESQ., the creator and host of The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, is nationally recognized as one of the top family law and divorce mediation attorneys in the country. She is one of the Co-Chair's of the American Bar Association's DR Section Mediation Committee and is the Founder of Divorce in a Better Way which provides a curated selection of resources and information for those facing divorce and other life changes. Susan also provides legal coaching and divorce mediation services to select clients around the world through an online platform. Find out more at www.divorceinabetterway.com. ************************************************************************************ For Divorce Professionals: As one of the country's leading experts in online mediation, Susan is now sharing her expertise and knowledge and offering her ONLINE MEDIATION TRAINING PROGRAM which will show you how to implement an online platform into to your existing practice in just two short one-hour online sessions! Increase your potential client base, convenience and income by learning the ethical and practical considerations to know when mediating online! Find out more at www.learntomediateonline.com and mention you are a listener of the Divorce and Beyond Podcast to get $50 off the cost of the training! *************************************************************************** THIS WEEK'S SPONSOR INFORMATION: Gabrielle Hartley, the Creator of the Better Apart Method: Leading divorce lawyer, coach and mediator, Gabrielle Hartley's book book "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate" is a runaway best-seller and now she has created the Better Apart Master Class, available for download online, which provides powerful tools to help you get clear, feel better and reclaim your life! For a limited time you will receive a mini consultation with Gabrielle herself when you sign up for the Master Class. Listeners of the podcast receive $25 off the price of the Master Class with code "BEYOND25"!!! FAYR, the BEST Co-Parenting App on the Market! What makes FAYR different? At FAYR it's not just about efficiency and ease (though they love those). They also help you create a better co-parenting experience by providing tools for: constructive communication, argument diffusion, and emotional support. For information on our FAYR, the ONLY co-parenting app recommended by Susan Guthrie and The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, visit their website at www.fayr.com. Don't forget to use the code "SUSANG18" for 20% off!! If you would like to sponsor the show please reach out to us at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com for pricing and details!!! ********************************************************************* Remember to follow Susan Guthrie and THE DIVORCE AND BEYOND PODCAST on social media for updates and inside tips and information: Susan Guthrie on Facebook Susan on Instagram Susan on Twitter Divorce & Beyond Podcast on Instagram If you want to see the video version of the podcast episodes they are available on The Divorce & Beyond YouTube Channel! Make sure to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss a single episode! Finally, we'd really appreciate it if you would give us a 5 Star Rating and tell us what you like about the show in a review - your feedback really matters to us! You can also get in touch with Susan at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com. ***************************************************************************** DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
In this episode, Susan Guthrie, top family law attorney, mediator and the former host of Breaking Free: A Modern Divorce Podcast, speaks with Therapist, Virginia Gilbert, MFT about her life changing book, Transcending High-Conflict Divorce: How to Disengage from Your Ex and Find Your Power. The trauma of high conflict divorce can end, and this episode will help you to end the cycle of abuse and reclaim your life! Divorce is never easy to go through but a high conflict divorce can be especially destructive and difficult to recover from. Often the cycle of trauma and abuse continues long after the divorce is final and victims suffer for years through an endless pattern of conflict with their ex. Virginia Gilbert, MFT has been through the horror of a high conflict divorce and has experienced the aftermath herself. She now specializes in counseling victims of high conflict personalities in recovery and helps them to reclaim their lives and move forward by ending the repetitive cycles. Her book, Transcending High-Conflict Divorce: How to Disengage from Your Ex and Find Your Power, is a lifeline with tips and concrete advice that ACTUALLY WORK! Tune in to this episode and get your life back! Some highligts from this episode: 6:20 Hear about Virginia's own "apocolyptic" divorce. 12:10 What are the psychological reasons that cause high-conflict divorce? 12:30 Find out what Virginia means when she says that "Mother Theresa never marries Hitler." 19:20 What is Virginia's BINF Method for communicating with your high conflict ex? 25:50 What is "Divorce PTSD" and how does it come into play in high conflict divorces? 32:00 What is the developmental task of divorce and how can it set you free? Virginia Gilbert, LMFT, is a psychotherapist in Los Angeles who specializes in high-conflict divorce, and sex and love addiction (which sometimes leads to high-conflict divorce!). She is also a freelance writer and some of her written work has appeared in HuffPost, Good Men Project, Addiction.com, and Covey Club. You can find out more and contact Virginia at vgilbertmft@gmail.com or through her website: www.virginiagilbertmft.com To receive a FREE copy of Virginia's special gift for listeners of The Divorce & Beyond Podcast, her "Personal Growth Journey Template", send an email to Virginia at vgilbertmft@gmail.com and reference the podcast in the subject line!!! Virginia's book, Transcending High-Conflict Divorce: How to Disengage from Your Ex and Find Your Power can be purchased on Amazon or by clicking the image below: ******************************************************************** SUSAN GUTHRIE, ESQ., the creator and host of The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, is nationally recognized as one of the top family law and divorce mediation attorneys in the country. She is one of the Co-Chair's of the American Bar Association's DR Section Mediation Committee and is the Founder of Divorce in a Better Way which provides a curated selection of resources and information for those facing divorce and other life changes. Susan also provides legal coaching and divorce mediation services to select clients around the world through an online platform. Find out more at www.divorceinabetterway.com. ************************************************************************************ For Divorce Professionals: As one of the country's leading experts in online mediation, Susan is now sharing her expertise and knowledge and offering her ONLINE MEDIATION TRAINING PROGRAM which will show you how to implement an online platform into to your existing practice in just two short one-hour online sessions! Increase your potential client base, convenience and income by learning the ethical and practical considerations to know when mediating online! Find out more at www.learntomediateonline.com and mention you are a listener of the Divorce and Beyond Podcast to get $50 off the cost of the training! *************************************************************************** THIS WEEK'S SPONSOR INFORMATION: Gabrielle Hartley, the Creator of the Better Apart Method: Leading divorce lawyer, coach and mediator, Gabrielle Hartley's book book "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate" is a runaway best-seller and now she has created the Better Apart Master Class, available for download online, which provides powerful tools to help you get clear, feel better and reclaim your life! For a limited time you will receive a mini consultation with Gabrielle herself when you sign up for the Master Class. Listeners of the podcast receive $25 off the price of the Master Class with code "BEYOND25"!!! FAYR, the BEST Co-Parenting App on the Market! What makes FAYR different? At FAYR it's not just about efficiency and ease (though they love those). They also help you create a better co-parenting experience by providing tools for: constructive communication, argument diffusion, and emotional support. For information on our FAYR, the ONLY co-parenting app recommended by Susan Guthrie and The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, visit their website at www.fayr.com. Don't forget to use the code "SUSANG18" for 20% off!! If you would like to sponsor the show please reach out to us at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com for pricing and details!!! ********************************************************************* Remember to follow Susan Guthrie and THE DIVORCE AND BEYOND PODCAST on social media for updates and inside tips and information: Susan Guthrie on Facebook Susan on Instagram Susan on Twitter Divorce & Beyond Podcast on Instagram If you want to see the video version of the podcast episodes they are available on The Divorce & Beyond YouTube Channel! Make sure to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss a single episode! Finally, we'd really appreciate it if you would give us a 5 Star Rating and tell us what you like about the show in a review - your feedback really matters to us! You can also get in touch with Susan at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com. ***************************************************************************** DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
In this episode, Susan Guthrie, top family law attorney, mediator and the former host of Breaking Free: A Modern Divorce Podcast, speaks with leading family law attorney, Lisa Zeiderman about the GOOD NEWS in divorce (yes, there is good news!) DIVORCE, the word alone conjures up dark and negative emotions. Fear and anger, hurt and helplessnes, these are the predominant emotions that people seem to experience when facing divorce and going through the process, but this episode is here to let you know that there is a positive side to divorce. Susan Guthrie, and her guest, leading family law attorney, Lisa Zeiderman, two of the top divorce attorneys in the country, have helped hundreds of clients through the process and they share the upside learned through their experience as divorce professionals, as well as personally. Good things do come from divorce and there are steps you can take to make sure that your divorce leads to a positive future for you and for your family. Some of the insights shared in this episode: 6:00 How divorce provides an opportunity for reinvention and re-education. 7:30 Why the future is not the emply void that you may see today. 8:40 How creating your team will empower and support you in divorce and beyond. 14:00 The importance of starting your divorce on the right note and what NOT to do. 16:30 The Good News about divorce for your children. 28:40 How divorce is the catalyst for finding the relationship of your dreams. 29:30 What should you prioritize when getting divorced? There is GOOD NEWS in divorce - let this episode open your eyes to the opportunities ahead! FOR A TRANSCRIPT OF THIS EPISODE PLEASE CLICK HERE **************************************************************************** Attorney Lisa Zeiderman, a Managing Partner of Miller Zeiderman & Wiederkehr LLP, focuses her law practice solely in Matrimonial and Family Law. A Fordham University of Law graduate who is on the Attorney for Children panel, Ms. Zeiderman is a passionate advocate who throughout her career has worked hand-in-hand with her clients to reach the most favorable resolution in both custody and financial matters.Ms. Zeiderman, once divorced, is remarried and has a 26-year-old daughter. Ms. Zeiderman has been published in the New York Law Journal, Divorce Magazine, the New York State Bar Association Family Review among others. She also authors a blog for Psychology Today Magazine online entitled “Legal Matters: Understanding Mental Health Issues as They Apply to Divorce and Child Custody.” She has been quoted on issues ranging from financial empowerment to tax issues to child custody in publications including USA Today, Marketwatch, CNNMoney, The Journal News, Business Insider, Bustle, Fatherly, and has been featured on a host of podcasts that focus on divorce and family law. You can contact Attorney Zeiderman by email at lz@mzw-law.com or by telephone at 914-455-1000 (Westchester County) and 212-324-3707 (NYC). ******************************************************************** SUSAN GUTHRIE, ESQ., the creator and host of The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, is nationally recognized as one of the top family law and divorce mediation attorneys in the country. She is one of the Co-Chair's of the American Bar Association's DR Section Mediation Committee and is the Founder of Divorce in a Better Way which provides a curated selection of resources and information for those facing divorce and other life changes. Susan also provides legal coaching and divorce mediation services to select clients around the world through an online platform. Find out more at www.divorceinabetterway.com. ************************************************************************************ For Divorce Professionals: As one of the country's leading experts in online mediation, Susan is now sharing her expertise and knowledge and offering her ONLINE MEDIATION TRAINING PROGRAM which will show you how to implement an online platform into to your existing practice in just two short one-hour online sessions! Increase your potential client base, convenience and income by learning the ethical and practical considerations to know when mediating online! Find out more at www.learntomediateonline.com and mention you are a listener of the Divorce and Beyond Podcast to get $50 off the cost of the training! *************************************************************************** THIS WEEK'S SPONSOR INFORMATION: Gabrielle Hartley, the Creator of the Better Apart Method: Leading divorce lawyer, coach and mediator, Gabrielle Hartley's book book "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate" is a runaway best-seller and now she has created the Better Apart Master Class, available for download online, which provides powerful tools to help you get clear, feel better and reclaim your life! For a limited time you will receive a mini consultation with Gabrielle herself when you sign up for the Master Class. Listeners of the podcast receive $25 off the price of the Master Class with code "BEYOND25"!!! FAYR, the BEST Co-Parenting App on the Market! What makes FAYR different? At FAYR it's not just about efficiency and ease (though they love those). They also help you create a better co-parenting experience by providing tools for: constructive communication, argument diffusion, and emotional support. For information on our FAYR, the ONLY co-parenting app recommended by Susan Guthrie and The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, visit their website at www.fayr.com. Don't forget to use the code "SUSANG18" for 20% off!! If you would like to sponsor the show please reach out to us at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com for pricing and details!!! ********************************************************************* Remember to follow Susan Guthrie and THE DIVORCE AND BEYOND PODCAST on social media for updates and inside tips and information: Susan Guthrie on Facebook Susan on Instagram Susan on Twitter Divorce & Beyond Podcast on Instagram If you want to see the video version of the podcast episodes they are available on The Divorce & Beyond YouTube Channel! Make sure to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss a single episode! Finally, we'd really appreciate it if you would give us a 5 Star Rating and tell us what you like about the show in a review - your feedback really matters to us! You can also get in touch with Susan at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com. ***************************************************************************** DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
In this episode, Susan Guthrie, former co-creator and host of Breaking Free: A Modern Divorce Podcast, speaks with theatrical speaker, Susan Sandler, whose popular TEDx Talk, "Punch Fear in the Face and Claim Your Life" is helping people to face their fears and move through them with concrete advice and true stories from her own life. Listen to this episode and find YOUR inner bravery so that you can punch fear in the face and claim your life too! FEAR is possibly the most common emotion that people feel when going through a divorce or any other difficult life transition. Suddenly the future is no longer clear, the past is in question and making even the smallest decisions or takings the smallest steps seems impossible. The problem is, you need to move forward and you need to get past the fear to get there. Susan Sandler understands fear. She has been there, and has made it a mission to help others to find their inner warrior in order to punch fear in the face so that they can claim their life and reach for their dreams. Get advice from these two experts and find out what it takes to get past your fears so that you too can PUNCH FEAR IN THE FACE AND CLAIM YOUR LIFE! Here are some highlights from the episode: 6:12 Hear about the series of tragedies that led Susan to punch fear in the face. 8:30 Find out how fear is the ultimate motivator. 15:25 What percentage of people actually achieve their goals and what is stopping them? 18:15 What is "divorce limbo" and how does fear keep you stuck there? 23:40 How important is it to have a guide or other support when facing your fears? 31:00 Find out why mid-life is the best time to move past your fears. We ALL feel fear. This episode is the lifeline everyone needs to move past it and move toward your dreams! If you would like to read a transcript of the episode, you can click here. To find out more about Worthy.com and their Facebook Support Group mentioned in this episode please visit the Worthy website at www.Worthy.com. ******************************************************************** SUSAN SANDLER is a TEDx, theatrical public speaker and clarity strategist whose passion is guiding and inspiring mid-life women to discover clarity and purpose. Her TEDx talk, “Punch Fear in the Face & Claim Your Life,” received a standing ovation at TEDxWilmington Women. Last year, Susan launched her one-woman show, ‘WINGS,’ about life on the other side of fear and the journey to get there. Susan is an expert in personal and organizational transformation. She led leadership development, organizational change and training for companies like Merrill Lynch and The Vanguard Group and national nonprofit Big Brothers Big Sisters of America. Earlier in her career she created a child abuse prevention program which decades later is still transforming lives. Susan grew up in the entertainment business where she cut her teeth as a singer on TV, radio and in nightclubs. You can find out more and contact Susan through her website: www.susanlsandler.com ******************************************************************** SUSAN GUTHRIE, ESQ., the creator and host of The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, is nationally recognized as one of the top family law and divorce mediation attorneys in the country. She is one of the Co-Chair's of the American Bar Association's DR Section Mediation Committee and is the Founder of Divorce in a Better Way which provides a curated selection of resources and information for those facing divorce and other life changes. Susan also provides legal coaching and divorce mediation services to select clients around the world through an online platform. Find out more at www.divorceinabetterway.com. ************************************************************************************ For Divorce Professionals: As one of the country's leading experts in online mediation, Susan is now sharing her expertise and knowledge and offering her ONLINE MEDIATION TRAINING PROGRAM which will show you how to implement an online platform into to your existing practice in just two short one-hour online sessions! Increase your potential client base, convenience and income by learning the ethical and practical considerations to know when mediating online! Find out more at www.learntomediateonline.com and mention you are a listener of the Divorce and Beyond Podcast to get $50 off the cost of the training! *************************************************************************** THIS WEEK'S SPONSOR INFORMATION: Gabrielle Hartley, the Creator of the Better Apart Method: Leading divorce lawyer, coach and mediator, Gabrielle Hartley's book book "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate" is a runaway best-seller and now she has created the Better Apart Master Class, available for download online, which provides powerful tools to help you get clear, feel better and reclaim your life! For a limited time you will receive a mini consultation with Gabrielle herself when you sign up for the Master Class. Listeners of the podcast receive $25 off the price of the Master Class with code "BEYOND25"!!! FAYR, the BEST Co-Parenting App on the Market! What makes FAYR different? At FAYR it's not just about efficiency and ease (though they love those). They also help you create a better co-parenting experience by providing tools for: constructive communication, argument diffusion, and emotional support. For information on our FAYR, the ONLY co-parenting app recommended by Susan Guthrie and The Divorce and Beyond Podcast, visit their website at www.fayr.com. Don't forget to use the code "SUSANG18" for 20% off!! If you would like to sponsor the show please reach out to us at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com for pricing and details!!! ********************************************************************* Remember to follow Susan Guthrie and THE DIVORCE AND BEYOND PODCAST on social media for updates and inside tips and information: Susan Guthrie on Facebook Susan on Instagram Susan on Twitter Divorce & Beyond Podcast on Instagram If you want to see the video version of the podcast episodes they are available on The Divorce & Beyond YouTube Channel! Make sure to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss a single episode! Finally, we'd really appreciate it if you would give us a 5 Star Rating and tell us what you like about the show in a review - your feedback really matters to us! You can also get in touch with Susan at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com. ***************************************************************************** DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
This week I am joined by the fabulous, Gabrielle Hartley, Esq. Gabrielle is a leading divorce attorney and is the author of Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate. Gabrielle founded the positive divorce movement and is known for keeping 99% of her cases at the negotiation table and out of the courtroom. With her book, Better Apart, she has created a complete Bible on how to get through your divorce in the most positive and elegant way possible. And I just love that word, elegant. Can you imagine your divorce being described as elegant? Her book is the first of its kind to combine the life-changing and healing wisdom of mindfulness, meditation, and yoga with practical advice and legal wisdom to get the reader through and beyond divorce. I cannot recommend her book highly enough. Gabrielle joins me to talk about the five elements of the Better Apart Method. She answers the question, “Can divorce really spark joy?” and talks about how to create an elegant divorce for you and your children. Show Highlights The positive divorce movement can spark the change we need in the world of divorce (3:10) Can divorce really spark joy? (4:02) Clearing the emotional clutter can help regulate your response to common divorce triggers (6:03) If you struggle with responding versus reacting, give yourself the permission you need to make space in your body first (8:20) Creating an elegant divorce for you and your children (13:50) Many of the relationships we have are dictated, partially, in how we interact with those people; plus understanding we are not responsible for others behaviors or choices (16:46) The five elements of the Better Apart Method and some exercises to put them into practice: patience, respect (respecting the process and yourself), peace (noticing the neutral), clarity (where we go from blame game to active visionary), and forgiveness (forgiving yourself will provide emotional freedom). (18:52) In order to move forward, we need to take a big step back; plus how reflective listening and marriage counseling can help you even if you do decide to divorce (37:24) Learn More About Gabrielle: Gabrielle Hartley Esq. , is a leading divorce attorney, mediator, case closer, author and speaker. She founded The Positive Divorce Movement and is the creator of The Better Apart Method. She is known for keeping 99% of her cases at the negotiation table and out of the courtroom. Her new book, Better Apart; The Radically Positive Way to Separate (Harper Collins) is the first book of its kind to combine the life changing, healing wisdom of mindfulness, meditation and yoga with practical advice and legal wisdom to get the reader through and beyond the divorce. Better Apart was named “the conscious uncoupling how-to” by People Magazine. She been featured throughout media channels including The New York Times, U.S. News and World Report, The New York Post,Yoga Journal, Mind Body Green, The Hampshire Gazette, The Brian Lehrer Show. She is a regular guest and blogger featured on local television and radio as well as dozens of podcasts and blogs around the world. Gabrielle is on the faculty of The American Bar Association (ABA) Mediation Institute and is a sub-committee chair at the ABA Dispute Resolution Section. She is also a member of the Association of the Bar of the City of New York, The Hampshire Bar Association and the Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation. Gabrielle is committed to wellness and technological innovation in the divorce space. She serves as advisor to the FAYR co-parenting application. She is former Court Attorney to Judge Jeffrey Sunshine. Gabrielle maintains a private law, mediation and coaching practice in Northampton, Massachusetts and in New York City where she offers live and online consultation and mediation. Work with Gabrielle at gabriellehartley.com. Links:Gabrielle’s websiteBetter Apart Masterclass - Listeners Use Code BETTER30 for $30 offGabrielle on InstagramGabrielle on LinkedInGabrielle on Facebook Resources:NEW! The Ultimate Divorce Survival GuideShould I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group
Gabrielle Hartley is a transformative wellness coach, divorce mediator, attorney, speaker and author of the book, Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate. She is working to end the shame and stigma surrounding divorce and is known for her unique, non-toxic approach that she has developed over two decades in practice. In this interview, Gabrielle and I talk about the inspiration for writing a book about separation and divorce, strategies for parting couples who want to bring a more peaceful dynamic to divorce, and some real-life tips for dealing with all the range of emotions that come with leaving a long-term relationship.
Lynn sits down with Gabrielle Hartley, an attorney, coach mediator and author to discuss Gabrielle’s unique approach to divorce which is outlined in her book, Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate. Her approach to handling divorce combines the healing power of meditation and yoga with the difficulty and often unpredictability of divorce. With … Continue reading Episode 72 – The Positive Way to Separate →
In this episode we discuss important advice for anyone seeking to live a happier, more peaceful life, regardless of relationship status. Gabrielle Hartley is a divorce attorney who helps couples navigate divorce in a non-toxic way. Her book is endorsed by Gwyneth Paltrow and reveals Gabrielle’s unique approach which keeps 99% of clients out of the courtroom. In addition to being an attorney, Gabrielle is a coach, mediator, speaker and author of Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate.
Love is complex. If the fairy tales were true there wouldn’t be a greater than 50% divorce rate. Sooooo many factors to great relationships. We know now, more than ever about attachment theory as it relates to successful relationships. All that being said — 50% are still ending in divorce at this time. High conflict divorce is the cause of so many detrimental things to adults and children. There is....another way!! My guest, Gabrielle Hartley is going to be on the show to talk about her book, Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate. Gabrielle Hartley is an attorney, mediator, consultant, speaker and author. She is known for her unique, non-toxic approach to divorce that she has developed over two decades in practice. Gabrielle keeps 99% of her cases out of the courtroom and at the negotiating table as she effectively supports her clients to create a healthy, uplifted post-divorce life for them. Gabrielle launched Your Elegant Divorce to offer support to clients regardless of their location. Find Gabrielle here --> https://gabriellehartley.com/ Find Better Apart Here --> https://www.amazon.com/Better-Apart-Radically-Positive-Separate-ebook/dp/B0728MY47W www.allwaysanotherway.com
Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate will transform your divorce and level-up your life. Gabrielle Hartley is an attorney, mediator, consultant and author, with Elena Brower, she gives you the...READ MORE The post Gabrielle Hartley Roadmap to Making Separation and Your Life Better Apart appeared first on That Got Me Thinking.
Divorce is a difficult, painful process. But at the end of the day, people pursue divorce because they want to be happier and improve their lives. The experience CAN afford you the opportunity to look inward, rediscover yourself and architect a better future—if you approach divorce in a mindful, non-toxic way. Gabrielle Hartley is committed to helping couples divorce with dignity and ease. Gabrielle has 20-plus years of experience as a divorce attorney and mediator, and in that time, she has developed a unique approach to the process that supports clients in designing a healthy post-divorce life. Gabrielle is also the coauthor of Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate. Today, Gabrielle joins Katherine to share the philosophy behind Better Apart and offer insight around her intention to help divorcing couples gain clarity. She describes several practical strategies you can use to remain mindful and practice active self-care during the divorce process and discusses how to choose an attorney that will represent you in a way you can be proud of. Listen in for Gabrielle’s advice around responding rather than reacting to the conflict dynamic and learn how to leverage divorce as an opportunity to remap your future! Topics Covered The philosophy behind Gabrielle’s new book, Better Apart Gabrielle’s intention to help divorcing couples gain clarity How Gabrielle encourages clients to be kind to themselves The 5 lenses Gabrielle uses to help people navigate divorce How to train your mind with a positive affirmation journal How listening to your inner voice is part of active self-care Surrounding yourself with people who let you be happy The danger in overgeneralizing other’s stories of divorce Gabrielle’s advice on choosing the right divorce attorney How divorce affords an opportunity to remap your future The value of giving yourself something to look forward to Gabrielle’s strategies for responding rather than reacting Connect with Gabrielle Hartley Gabrielle’s Website : https://gabriellehartley.com/ Resources Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate by Gabrielle Hartley and Elena Brower: https://www.amazon.com/Better-Apart-Radically-Positive-Separate/dp/006268938X Connect with Katherine Miller The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/ Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/ Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1 The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246 Email: katherine@westchesterfamilylaw.com Call (914) 738-7765
Divorce is always an opportunistic event except that most people don't see it that way.It's opportunistic because at least for the person making the decision to end the marriage, they have concluded that life will be better outside the relationship. It doesn't mean that the divorce was what they wanted or that it isn't hurtful, painful and difficult. Nor does it mean that every aspect of their life will be better. Finances might be worse but emotionally it would be better. Lifestyle may change but parenting may become easier. Weighing all the considerations, the decision-maker sees that their life on balance would be better.And usually that's not just by a little. People often say that it's the 'I can't stand it any longer' type of better or the 'there is no hope of change' type of better, even the 'I'm going to make myself sick if I don't do this.'So what does it take to see divorce as an opportunity? What does it take if you aren't the one making the decision? Is there a way to make sure you aren't making a mistake?Joining Mandy for this Conversation is attorney and mediator Gabrielle Hartley. Gabrielle has been developing a non-toxic approach to divorce for over twenty years and keeps 99 percent of her cases out of the courtroom. She's the author of Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate.You can download Gabrielle's The Five Essential Elements to Becoming Better Apart at her website https://gabriellehartley.com.You'll find a synopsis of this show at Mandy's blog at https://sincemydivorce.com/divorce-opportunity-end-world
Gabrielle Hartley is a leading divorce attorney, mediator, coach, author and speaker. Her book, Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate, is the first book of its kind to combine the life changing, healing wisdom of mindfulness, meditation and yoga with practical advice and legal wisdom to get the reader through and beyond the divorce. Better Apart was named “the conscious uncoupling how-to” by People Magazine. She has also been featured throughout media channels including The New York Times, The New York Post, Yoga Journal, & Mind Body Green. She is known for a unique, non-toxic approach to divorce that she developed over two decades in practice. She served as court attorney for Judge Jeffrey Sunshine in NYC matrimonial court and is a member of the Association of the Bar of the City of New York, and the Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation. Gabrielle brings her spirit, smarts and energy to every life she touches. She provides a robust array of resources (webinars, live classes, one to one coaching, workshops, key notes and connection to other professionals and resources) for people who are ready to feel better through and beyond divorce. Gabrielle will help you move beyond feeling victimized by your relationship or situation, learn to manage your emotions around your ex's manipulations (or irritations) and start to feel better. She currently resides in Northampton, MA with her husband and three sons.In This Episode, You Will Learn:The greatest challenges that most couples face during divorce.Five essential elements to cultivating an elegant divorce.How to deal with an ex who isn't interested in an elegant divorce.Connect with Gabrielle:GabrielleHartley.comBetter Apart: The Radically Positive Way to SeparateFacebookInstagramTwitterLinkedInDon’t Miss A Single Episode:Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.Leave a quick review on any of the podcast apps to tell people what you think about the show.Take a screenshot of the podcast and post it on Instagram or Instagram Stories. Tag us @insporising. We’ll repost and give you a shoutout!Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/inspiration-rising/donations