Podcasts about cafre

DEFRA says an "error was made" when closing the Sustainable Farming Incentive to new applications earlier this year, and people who had applications in progress when it was shut, could now be allowed to submit them. The Sustainable Farming Incentive - or SFI - is part of the new system of farm payments in England, replacing the EU's Common Agricultural Policy. It pays people to do things like grow cover crops, plant flowers for pollinators, and manage hedgerows on their land. But in March this year, the Government announced, with no warning, that the SFI would be closed to new applications.We visit one farmer who could be affected by the change: dairy farmer, Sarah Godwin, had planned plant a mixture of grasses, enriched with legumes and other species - called a herbal ley - paid for by the SFI...but the scheme was abruptly closed in March before her application was complete. She says the farm had spent more than a thousand pounds on agents' fees to help with the forms.And testing top soils is often done to measure nutrients and organic matter - but recording what lies at a much lower depth could be key to enhancing soil health, and help achieve agriculture's net zero targets. We visit CAFRE, Northern Ireland's College of Agriculture, Food and Rural Enterprise, where a major, deep soil carbon-coring project has been underway.Presented by Anna Hill Produced by Heather Simons

Explorer le 20 décembre, célébration et mémoire de l'abolition de l'esclavage, à travers ses racines historiques et ses expressions artistiques actuelles, à partir de la capitale de l'Océan indien. "Fèt Kaf, ça se prépare" propose une plongée sonore dans les festivités du 20 décembre, fête commémorative propre à La Réunion, entre mémoire historique, créations artistiques, et vibrations populaires. Cette série explore le lien intime entre le passé, le présent et la créativité, avec une attention particulière portée au maloya et à ses multiples résonances. ÉPISODE PROLOGUE "Bienvenue dans Fèt Kaf, ça se prépare. Un podcast au cœur de l'Océan indien. Moi, c'est Eloïse Bonnan, je suis journaliste basée sur l'île de La Réunion et j'ai eu très envie de vous faire voyager au cœur d'une fête particulière ici : le 20 décembre que l'on dénomme « Fet Kaf » en créole réunionnais. Ne paniquez pas, si vous n'êtes pas familier de l'île intense je vous explique tout : Le 20 décembre c'est le jour où l'on célèbre, non pas noël en avance, mais la fin de l'esclavage. Jour férié uniquement ici, on commémore autant que l'on célèbre la date de l'abolition et la mémoire des ancêtres affranchis. Avant de commencer, dernier point sur le titre. Fèt Kaf, qu'est-ce que ça veut dire ? "Kaf" ou "Cafre", c'est un mot très répandu à La Réunion, qu'on utilise pour parler des personnes d'origine africaine, malgache ou afro-malgache. De la même manière que moi, pour les réunionnais, je suis zoreil, c'est-à-dire blanche européenne. Historiquement, ce terme était péjoratif, mais avec le temps, les personnes concernées se le sont réapproprié pour revendiquer une identité et une mémoire collective. Que vous soyez dans l'hexagone, à La Réunion ou ailleurs dans le monde, bienvenue en coulisses et au cœur du 20 décembre" ------------------------ Production, interview et réalisation : Eloïse Bonnan Partenaires : Ville de Saint-Denis de La Réunion, WEXX Communication Crédit visuel : Lola Naciri

#NutrientsAndBodyHealth #HealingAndRestoration #GodsWay Bards Nation Health Store: https://www.bardsnationhealth.com Support Pete Chambers' Team: https://theremnantministrytx.org Support Dennis Price's Team: https://heroes4humanity.us/ NC Rescue GiveSendG0: https://www.givesendgo.com/weloveWNC BIRCH GOLD Infokit:  >>>Text BARDS to 989898 Mission Darkness Faraday Bags and RF Shielding. Promo code BARDS: Click here EMPShield protect your vehicles and home. Promo code BARDS: Click here MYPillow promo code: BARDS Go to https://www.mypillow.com/bards and use the promo code BARDS or... Call 1-800-975-2939.  Founders Bible 20% discount code: BARDS >>> https://thefoundersbible.com/#ordernow EMF Solutions to keep your home safe: https://www.emfsol.com/?aff=bards Treadlite Broadforks...best garden tool EVER. Promo code BARDS: Click here DONATE: https://store.bardsnation.com/donate/ Mailing Address: Xpedition Cafe Attn. Scott Kesterson 591 E Central Ave, #740 Sutherlin, OR  97479

Una vez más los mach0rr0s llegan para darles esa sabia mentoría que ustedes necesitan. Comenzamos este episodio dándole su espacio al maestro Chris Agront, quien desinteresadamente nos muestra el camino al éxito sin decir una oración coherente; después de ponernos un video pariendo a los gemelitos Temu y Shein, J Go botó la bola jugando softball como toda una mach0rra, y en el camino a primera base puso a llorar a Jay Fonseca. Un boricua amarra su casa en Florida para enfrentar  el paso de Milton, otro bori escogió la mueLte antes de perder su colección de tarjetas Pokemón, mientras que Lisha se bautiza en la playa por duodécima vez a ver si Dios le quita los demonios del FOMO. Hicimos nuestro análisis del nuevo programa de Burbu y Molusco, y Vali confesó ser bien fanático de “Adolescentes Podcast”. ¡Esto es #LaHoraMachorra, papeh! USA EL CÓDIGO "MACHORRA20" PARA UN 20% DE DESCUENTO EN: https://www.manscaped.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/lahoramachorra INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/lahoramachorra/ CANAL DE CLIPS: https://www.youtube.com/c/lahoramachorraclips LAS MEJORES ARTESANÍAS: https://prartisans.com/ LA MEJOR MARCA DE ROPA BORICUA: https://www.resistancecompany.com/ Hosts: Alexis 'Macetaminofén' Zárraga, José Valiente & Oscar Navarro === REDES === Maceta https://www.facebook.com/TioMacetaminofen https://twitter.com/Macetaminofen https://www.instagram.com/macetaminofen/ Valiente https://www.youtube.com/user/valiente101 https://twitter.com/JoseValiente https://www.instagram.com/josevalientepr/ Oscar https://linktr.ee/oscarnavarropr   

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Como si en las últimas noticias de relevancia internacional todo se hubiera trabado en pantalla. Se buguearon diría un gamer. Y ahí vamos otra vez La crisis político social venezolana y las propuestas que parecen sacadas de un manual deportivo. Celso Amorín, quizá el hombre al que más escucha el presidente de Brasil, Lula, deslizó, viendo lo difícil de la situación, que se debería hacer la elección otra vez. Como si un partido con fallo polémico hubiera definido a dos campeones y habría que jugarlo de nuevo. Bien, lo que parecía un chiste fue tomado en serio. Lula se lo comentó a Petro y ambos lo dijeron en voz alta. Sí, realizar las elecciones que la oposición dice que ganó y que el chavismo dice que ganó: otra vez. Nicolás Maduro respondió, de ninguna manera. Eso es hacerle el juego a los fascistas. María Corina Machado dijo, de ninguna manera. Eso es hacerle el juego a los dictadores represores ECDQEMSD podcast El Cyber Talk Show - episodio 5851 Hagámoslo Otra Vez Conducen: El Pirata y El Sr. Lagartija https://canaltrans.com Noticias Del Mundo: Venezuela en su laberinto - La propuesta de Lula - Lucha libre en parlamento turco - Blinken a oriente - No chiflen pide Sheinbaum y AMLO - Un mes para Aterrizaje Colombia 2024 - Se fue Alain Delon - El más lindo del mundo - Hermosillo intacto Historias Desintegradas:  Túneles de Guanajuato - Mi ex y mis hijos - Cafre identificado - Mi venganza - Entre Toretto y Arjona - Todo fue ganar - Inglés básico - La presidencia municipal - Bienvenidos a Guachimontones -  En bicicleta con falda y tacones - Todo el apoyo - Educación pública y privada - El chiste de la SEP - El rincón del Corrupto - Te decimos con quién hay que hablar - Cadena hotelera de Cancún - Día Internacional de la Fotografía - El Orangután y más... En Caso De Que El Mundo Se Desintegre - Podcast no tiene publicidad, sponsors ni organizaciones que aporten para mantenerlo al aire. Solo el sistema cooperativo de los que aportan a través de las suscripciones hacen posible que todo esto siga siendo una realidad. Gracias Dragones Dorados!! NO AI: ECDQEMSD Podcast no utiliza ninguna inteligencia artificial de manera directa para su realización. Diseño, guionado, música, edición y voces son de  nuestra completa intervención humana.

Los años, las temporadas pasan y todo sigue igual. Nada ha cambiado, ni sobre el césped, ni en los medios. Las mismas decisiones que benefician/perjudican a los mismos de siempre. Y los de la Cofradía del Capirote de Papel de Aluminio, que no están tan locos. Min. 00 Seg. 33 - In memoriam Min. 04 Seg. 48 - Intro Min. 12 Seg. 11 - Los fueron y los que pudieron haber sido Min. 29 Seg. 34 - Cafre, pero poco Min. 39 Seg. 27 - Amedrentar, lo que hacen los defensas Min. 48 Seg. 57 - Barra libre arbitral Min. 55 Seg. 33 - Despedida The Beatles - Something (MSG, New York) John Mayall & The Bluesbreakers (Passaic, NJ 18/06/1982) Every Time I Look At You You Never Can Be Trusted Don't Start Me Talkin' My Time After A While Suitcase Blues Rocket In The Pocket 1.000 Musicians - Another Brick In The Wall (Part 2) (Cesena 29/07/2023)

La Liga Nacional de Graffiti hará una parada en Ferrol del 12 a 14 de julio. La plaza de Armas será el lienzo en el que los 10 artistas participantes plasmarán su arte. Los invitados dibujarán en paneles habilitados por el Ayuntamiento para la cita. La Liga Nacional de Grafito es un referente en el mundo del grafiti, ya que fue el primer concurso dedicado a esta disciplina. En 2019 comenzó su andadura en España y desde entonces otros países del globo han copiado el formato. La competición reúne a los mejores artistas de España para que compitan por un premio, pero también para que den a conocer al público general su don para pintar con espray. En Ferrol participarán en la prueba los grafiteros Sea 162, Mariadie, Nauni69, Cafre, Badi Colorando, Hide2, Moreno, Konestilo, Décima y Jacobo Palos. Sus creaciones tendrán que ocupar un máximo de 3x4 metros. El viernes y el sábado los artistas pintarán sus obras. El domingo tendrán hasta las 11:00 horas para completar la pieza, que será valorada por el jurado del concurso, del que también formará parte un representante municipal.

Literatura y cine. Hoy proponemos un doble viaje: a Vrësno, con Carolina Sarmiento. Y a Mean girls y otras comedias de humor cafre feminista, con Elisa McCausland.Escuchar audio

Como dijo el prócer ponceño Jesús Guelen: “esta semana es más corta que un mahón de Eliezer Molina”; pero aquí están los mach0rros para hablar de lo que está pasando en el mundo, antes de que ustedes se vayan a recordar el sacrificio de Cristo, mientras se jaLtan de ron en la playa. Lamentablemente, una barcaza chocó en Baltimore, así que no podrá traernos a tiempo los artículos que estábamos esperando de Amazon; P Diddy anda huyendo por una isla del Caribe -después de cogerle los güevos hasta a Dreuxilla Divine-, y seguimos enterándonos de las tristes noticias sobre el vicio de las apuestas, esta vez por un pelotero japonés que puso todo sus dinero en la app que promociona Playmaker. La Vice de los Estados Unidos llega a la isla a bailar trinca la bomba, Schatz se vacila al enchismín de Natal y somos testigos del verdadero milagro de Semana Santa: ¡Maripily se salvó en “La casa de los famosos”, puñeta! Recuerda: si te ofendes, eso no es problema de nosotros. ¡Desde GW-Cinco, esto es #LaHoraMachorra! ---------------------------------- SHOW DE OSCAR DE SEMANA SANTA (MAYAGÜEZ, CIALES & SAN JUAN): ATEOS VS CRISTIANOS BOLETOS: https://boletos.boletera.net/e/ateos-vs-cristianos/tickets ----------------------------------- LA CAMISA MACHORRA: https://la-tiendita-machorra.printify.me/product/6298669 ---------------------------------- USA EL CÓDIGO "MACHORRO" PARA UN 20% DE DESCUENTO EN: https://www.manscaped.com/ LAS MEJORES ARTESANÍAS: https://prartisans.com/ LA MEJOR MARCA DE ROPA BORICUA: https://www.resistancecompany.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/lahoramachorra INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/lahoramachorra/ CANAL DE CLIPS: https://www.youtube.com/c/lahoramachorraclips EL MEJOR STUDIO DE PE ERRE: https://www.instagram.com/gw_cinco/ Hosts: Alexis 'Macetaminofén' Zárraga, José Valiente & Oscar Navarro === REDES === Maceta https://www.facebook.com/TioMacetaminofen https://twitter.com/Macetaminofen https://www.instagram.com/macetaminofen/ Valiente https://www.youtube.com/user/valiente101 https://twitter.com/JoseValiente https://www.instagram.com/josevalientepr/ Oscar https://linktr.ee/oscarnavarropr   

This week Gardeners' Corner visits what must be one of most beautiful classrooms in the country – the walled garden at the College of Agriculture, Food and Rural Enterprise (CAFRE), Greenmount Campus in County Antrim. David Maxwell joins CAFRE's Lori Hartman for a look around, as work begins to renovate some areas including the hot border and a brand new brick pergola. At Mount Venus nursery, in the hills above Dublin, Oliver Shurmann has some spring highlights and Colin Agnew introduces the new Templeton trail at Belfast's Botanic gardens. In Killinchy, Anne Fitzsimmons is enjoying the spring heat in the polytunnel where she is sowing some perennials and she explains why it helps to pre-sprout your courgettes. In studio, Anna Hudson joins David to answer questions and provide some spring inspiration. Email the programme at gardenerscorner@bbc.co.uk

En este programa de La Cafetera de Radiocable.com repasamos las noticias del mundo y de España, y en particular la campaña electoral

This week's show comes from Co Donegal and includes a grain market update and a chat on crop condition in the north west.On this week's podcast I'm joined by Cian Maguire of Comex McKinnon to talk about grain markets. We take a look at the news pages and tillage pages and we chat to Liam Robb at a walk on his farm in Co Donegal and get an update on crops in Northern Ireland from Robin Bolton of CAFRE.

With two weeks until the coronation, David visits a garden under construction to mark the event. Diarmuid Gavin's bold design for The King's Coronation garden will soon be an eye catching attraction at Hazelbank Park on the shores of Belfast Lough. Among those helping to get the garden finished on time are some students from CAFRE's Greenmount campus. Also on the programme, Helen Mark visits the National Trust's Florence Court where Ian Marshall and his volunteers are busy planting broad beans and potatoes in the kitchen garden. Jekka McVicar reveals her favourite herb for April and Reg Maxwell joins David in studio to answer questions and provide some seasonal inspiration for the gardener at home. Contact the programme – gardenerscorner@bbc.co.uk . Email the programme on gardenerscorner@bbc.co.uk

Cuando lo único que quieres es escapar lo que tengas en el cuerpo no importa.  Sigueme en Instagram  @loveafatboy Recuerden valorar y compartir este episodio. 

Programa 3x125. La hist

Programa 3x125. La hist

On this week's show we report from the CAFRE, UAS and UFU arable conference which took place on Tuesday, 31 January.

In this weeks episode John talks to Conor Gallinagh horticultural advisor with Cafre. Conor and the team at Cafre are doing some really interesting work looking at plants growing in peat free which is interesting as us gardeners begin to transition away from peat growing media. We also chat about LED grow lights and whether they are viable to use commercially. Its a great chat with lots of other topics covered. You can find Conor's family nursery here https://gallinaghnursery.ieThere will be a blog post on this episode very soon on my website. This blog and previous blogs along with all podcast episodes are be available on my Website :https://mastermygarden.com/If there is any topic you would like covered in future episodes please let me know. Please like and follow Master My Garden on the following channels  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermygarden/Instagram @Mastermygarden https://www.instagram.com/mastermygarden/Twitter:https://twitter.com/tweetsbyMMGor email info@mastermygarden.comUntil next week Happy Gardening John Support the show

Todos tenemos algo de cafres y come m, aquí te contamos de que manera tenemos de ambas. Nicole esta devuelta. REDES SOCIALES DE TRAPITOS SUCIOS: FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/trapitos.sucios.37669 INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/detrapitossucios/?hl=es PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/Trapitossucios

Bryan Irvine, CAFRE, Greenmount College, joined Mark Gibson, Head of Teagasc Outreach & Innovation Department, on this week's podcast version of the Signpost Series webinar to discuss ecosystems services on CAFRE's Upland Farm. A questions and answers session took place at the end of the webinar, which was facilitated by Catherine Keena, Teagasc Countryside Management Specialist. To register for future webinars visit: https://www.teagasc.ie/corporate-events/sustainable-agriculture-webinars/ And for more podcasts from the Signpost Series go to: https://www.teagasc.ie/signpostpodcast/

MI MAMI ERA UN VERDADERO PELIGRO MANEJANDO...

This week we are joined by Kat Huson from AFBI to discuss the latest information from the GrassCheck plots and farms, Robert Patterson and Noel Lavery from CAFRE as well as Martin Craig a GrassCheck Beef farmer from Crumlin and Hugh Harbison as GrassCheck Dairy Farmer from Aghadowey.

Episode 345– The Neuroscience of Addiction Part II   Today we have Stacy Jo, she is 34 years old, from Oregon and took her last drink on March 6, 2020.      Highlights from Paul   Paul wants to know your interest in a alcohol-free Ukulele 101 course.  If you are interested please email info@recoveryelevator.com.   Paul provides part 2 of highlights of a podcast with Rich Roll speaking with Dr. Anna Lembke. Rich Roll Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jziP0CEgvOw.    Dr. Lembke talks about how it's a known fact that when we are in our addiction, we can't accurately see the consequences or what's taking place. With abstinence, we can look back and say, OH MY   The interview focuses a lot on dopamine and why addiction has been on the rise for 30 years.   Being smart or highly educated doesn't make you immune to addiction, in fact, it might even backfire because you think you know everything.  More than 1/2 the world's deaths, under the age of 50, are attributable to addiction. Rates of alcoholism have gone up 50% for those aged 65 and up from the late 90's to today and have gone up 80% in women. Traditionally the rates for alcoholics were 5:1 for men to women. With Millennials, it's now 1:1. There are more burdens on women now than ever.   Dr. Lemke recommends a 30 day dopamine fast. But a huge warning of withdrawals for alcohol and benzodiazepines. How to do this? Well, we've got 345 episodes now on the HOW, but the trick is to go into the pain. Head into the storm (episode 341) and Forgive yourself.   Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   [12:41] Stacy Jo took her last drink on March 6, 2020.  She lives in Eugene, OR. with her partner of 15 years.  Her primary hobby is anything that has to do with yarn.  She has worked in the restaurant industry for 20 years until the pandemic hit, she recently was just at the University of Oregon.    Around the age of 20, after a breakup and miscarriage, Stacy Jo feels there was a switch in her drinking.  That was the same time her service industry career normalized and it all went hand in hand.   In 2018 Stacy Jo started some serious attempts to quit drinking but it wasn't until the beginning of the pandemic in 2020 that she was able to get good footing.    Stacy Jo joined Café RE when she was around 4 months sober and says she did it as a reward for herself.    She says her partner hated her drinking, and that it became a pretty big division between the two of them.  Stacy Jo also got a Driving While Ability Impaired (right below a DUI) when she was 28.    She feels like she slept the 1st three months of sobriety.  She treated herself like a toddler and allowed herself to sleep and snack.    Stacy Jo is grateful for the pandemic and her restaurant shutting down.  It allowed her to get away from the normalcy that is part of the service industry and to have the space to get on solid ground.    She does not get cravings any longer, but says she is not so cocky to say that she won't again.       Odette's Summary   Odette reminds us that change starts with us.  Recovery is our responsibility.    Remember you are not alone and together is always better.    Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20 Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   

Episode 344– The Neuroscience of Addiction   Today we have Bill.  He is 61, from Alabama, and took his last drink on April 29, 2021.   Events. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/events/   Ditch the Booze starts 9/21 at 8 PM EST.   Highlights from Paul   Paul provides part one of highlights of a podcast with Rich Roll speaking with Dr. Anna Lembke. Rich Roll Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jziP0CEgvOw.    “Persons with severe addictions are among those contemporary prophets that we ignore to our own demise for they show us who we truly are.” Dr. Lembke says that drinking is not a choice but seeking help for an addiction is a choice.    The interview focuses a lot on dopamine and why addiction has been on the rise for 30 years.  American society and economy are focused on an insatiable pursuit of pleasure.  Today's marketers target the dopamine system; thus, we all struggle to find homeostasis.  Addiction can show up as alcohol, social media, food, etc.  Addiction is a low-grade discomfort we all have as humans.  She believes we are all wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain, which works in an environment of scarcity, not our current state of abundance.    Paul reminds us we can't study or think our way out of addiction.  Community is key!   Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   [11:43] Bill took his last drink on April 29, 2021.  He enjoys hiking, movies, sports, windsurfing, reading, and spending time with family and friends.       Bill started drinking as a teenager.  He knew at spring break 30 years ago that he was a problem drinker.  He drank and got buzzed every five years but wasn't addicted.  Thirty years later, Bill's wife left, and he started drinking liqueur in the evening.  He slowly became addicted, and he drank every night.    When Bill hit rock bottom, he found himself broke, living in an extended stay hotel.  He scraped the floor of his room and his car to get enough money to buy a few shots.    In 2020, he joined Recovery Elevator and was a lurker until 2021.   Bill still has cravings and practices “doing 30 things” to keep him from drinking.  If the cravings continue, he goes to bed.  Loneliness is Bill's biggest trigger.  Ice cream and cookies also get him through.   Bill said everything got better when he stopped drinking. He is back in the gym and loves waking up without a hangover. His medications work better.  The community of Café RE is crucial to Bill, and he is led and inspired by others in RE.  He loves being of service and is grateful to the suggestions of others that helped him when he wanted to drink.   Bill credits Tim Grover's books, Relentless and Winning, with changing his mindset.  His takeaway was getting ‘obsessed' with sobriety.  Meditation helps his anxiety and cravings.   A friend of Bill's told him his greatest flaw was that he didn't like himself.  He described how the “I suck” mentality brought him down.   Bill made considerable strides in self-love since he quit drinking. He listens to a podcast called Unbeatable Mind and has learned to say “I love you” to himself daily, over and over.  Bill believes having an accountability partner is critical to his success.    Odette's Summary Odette shared about a Café RE member who shared at the Bozeman retreat.  The person said, ‘for a long time, I thought I didn't matter, that my existence didn't matter.  I recognize that I matter, I belong, and I can make an impact.'    Odette reminds us, we all matter.  We help each other become better and to heal.  We remind each other of our value.  The power of community is vital because it is rooted in love and non-judgment and a firm belief that we are whole.  We are whole, even when we stumble.    Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20 Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   

In this episode we dive into the topic of SELF-CARE! As the saying goes,"you can't pour from an empty cup". Tap in and listen to the 8 different types of self care. Eight? Yeah, eight. So go on and tap in! Music credit: Rip Mac Miller Inzo IG Inzo Soundcloud Inzo Spotify  

Episode 341 – Head into the storm   On today's podcast we've got Britt, she is 45, from California and she took her last drink on November 13, 2018.   Registration for Costa Rica (January 15-23) opens Wednesday 9/1.  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica/   Highlights from Paul   Solving human problems can be discovered in nature.  Lone bison run away from storms in the opposite direction.  Humans run away from cravings and tough life challenges.  Packs of bison walk through the storm together, shoulder to shoulder.  They know the quickest way to weather the storm is through.  It's vital that we work alongside others to weather the storm of addiction.  Facing the storm together is fun.   [6:52] Paul shares a great story about his adventures with Britt and how much he admires how she has embraced her AF journey.  Paul loves how Britt burned the ships and showed how invigorating life can be sans alcohol.    Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code: RE20   [09:54] Britt took her last drink November 13, 2018.  She loves the outdoors, hiking and music.   Britt had a slow burn into active addiction.  She struggled with depression and agoraphobia in her teens.  When she hit 30, she lost 100 pounds.   Losing that much weight is a challenge.  Drinking helped her deal with those emotions.  She quit drinking after the loss of a friend and white knuckled for over a year.  She went back to drinking, but it progressed.  Reviewing her journals helped her to see she made multiple attempts to quit and moderate.  She made a geographic change hoping for a cure.  She believed her rock bottom came when she was drinking daily, then she went to work for a liquor store while looking for full time work.  Cognitive dissonance was in play for two years, and she never gave up.  While listening to podcasts, she tried a 30-day solution and it stuck.   Britt found that drinking gave her a tiny feeling of satisfaction that ultimately turned into shame and loathing.  Control has been a theme that she is continuing to explore.  Once she was able to stack some days, she leveraged journaling and Café RE retreats.  Meeting other people who were also ditching the booze inspired a new level of accountability that worked.  Personal integrity helped her to honor her commitment to quit drinking.  Britt learned that she leveraged food, exercise, and relationships to soothe herself.  Now she explores new parks or trails.  Meditation has been instrumental to her sobriety.  Addiction has humbled Britt, softened her relationships, and opened her to more meaningful connections.   [42:17] Britt shares a powerful journal entry.  Addiction isn't in a place, and neither is recovery.  There is freedom in that.   Odette's Summary   Odette reminds listeners that her life is messy with ups, downs, good and bad days.  Keep showing up and remember you help others by showing up.    Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20 Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica/ You can find more information about our events Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   

Episode 338 – Old Narratives   On today's podcast we've got Rebecca she took his last drink on October 22, 2019, she is from Madison Wisconsin, and  is 31 years old.   Finding Your Better You Highlights When we don't know the root of our triggers, when we don't know the narratives that are ingrained in our brains and in our souls.  We think something is wrong with us. And when we think something is wrong with us, we feel shame. Part of taking responsibility of your healing is knowing yourself, so that you can get outside of this shame cycle and can walk the bridge over to self-empathy. When I know myself better, I can zoom out and see what was happening in my mind, understand myself better and allows me to manage my relationships differently. This makes me navigate my cravings better, because mine come when I feel this belief of, I am not considered.   Look within and find some narratives that are living inside of you? Stories that live in the past, yet they are being perpetuated in your present life. We can re-write those stories. But only until we detect them.   Insights from Rebecca's Journey   [09:18] Kris introduces Rebecca.  Rebecca began drinking at age 14 and she hated it.   She was afraid of drinking because her dad was in law enforcement.  She noticed a shift in her drinking at age 25.  In 2011, her dad went to prison and that trauma had a huge impact on her life.  She was also a victim of domestic violence.  She thanks alcohol for getting her through terrible times and for the life she has now.  Rebecca's drinking became all day drinking because she was isolated, alone, and bored.  She would binge drink to soothe loneliness.  She was falling apart, other than work.    She began listening to recovery podcasts and reached out to her employee assistance office.  She entered a therapy group that helped with alcohol addiction and trauma. She was holding on some trauma from her past that became an excuse for drinking.  She was stuck in a Day 1 cycle and a shame cycle. She went to rehab and detoxed from alcohol and Xanax.  It was a very structured program that gave her some tools.    Learning to connect was important for Rebecca.  She leaned in heavily on AA and found a local community of sober women.  She is now very engaged with Café RE which has helped keep her sober.  She constantly evaluates her program. She continues to suffer from anxiety and depression, but she isn't alone anymore.  She really wants to give back and is now able to do so.  She always challenges the narrative recognizing that a bad day can be turned around.   Rebecca said, keep it simple!    Kris' Message Kris is celebrating four years of continuous sobriety.   He shared a quote from Marianne Williamson, “Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us most.  We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous.  Actually, who are you not to be?  Playing small does not serve the world.  We born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  As we let our own light shine, we give others permission to do the same.”  Take some time to recognize the work you are doing.  Resist the urge to minimize yourself.  You are a gift to this world.  You deserve happiness.    It all starts from the inside out.   Sponsor Exact Nature re20@exactnature.com Shout out to The Chocolate Moose, a Bozeman Retreat Sponsor.   https://www.thechocolatemoose406.com/ @thechocolatemoose406 on Instagram     Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: Bozeman 2021 You can find more information about our events including Costa Rica and Denver   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   

Episode 337 – The canary in the mine.   I was open with people about my decision.  I put myself out there to create a level of accountability.      Today we have Katie. She is 38, from Ohio and took her last drink July 12, 2020.  This is her story of living Alcohol Free (AF).    Events!   Alcohol-free travel is back! Recovery Elevator is going to Costa Rica January 15th-23rd and you should join us. We've got space for 34 AF rock stars, registration opens Sept 1. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica/   You can find more information about our events here.     Paul's Intro   Native cultures believed that a sick person is like the canary in the mine and it's the sick person who represents an imbalance in the community. Or that something is off. They also believed this person should be thanked for raising the alarm that something needs to be corrected within a community. Almost like, yo, thank you for taking one for the team.   So Contrary to today's culture where mental illness, autoimmune disorders, and addictions are prevalent and on the rise, these environmental conditions were rare in most cultures prior to modern times. So this is what native cultures did when there was a sick canary in the community. The whole tribe came together to help this person because they knew they were all connected, that they were all one. The entire community would shoulder the cost to bring in healers from other tribes. All these ceremonies were different of course, but from I can deduce the two main commonalities were this: Music and dancing. For at least 3-4 days.   Okay, let's tie this into alcohol. It's in my opinion those who struggle with a drinking problem are the canaries in the mines. Side note, I was the canary in the mine in the Canary islands. I went to this set of islands located off the northwest coast of Africa in 2007 and was drunk and hungover for the whole trip. I don't remember much from that trip, but I recall popcorn being my lifeline one afternoon because that's all I could. That's how hungover I was. And fun facts about Canaries, yes they do come from the Canary islands. They have yellow feathers, and occasionally eat jalapeños.  Fun fact about Paul. I also occasionally eat jalapeños. We are covering some ground today team.   So in 2021, there have never been more sick canaries, and if we don't ALL address this, then we're toast as a species.   When I say we ALL need to address this, I mean problematic and normal drinkers. As in addiction/mental health is an external manifestation that something is highly out of balance internally with our species. This imbalance affects everyone. This is okay, it's how we grow and evolve.   The good news is…. The Canary can heal. It will heal. You, if you're listening to this podcast in hopes of quitting drinking, are the canary, and you will heal, just keep at it.   So how does the canary heal? I firmly believe there is no select methodology, or doctrine to follow. There is no right or wrong way to ditch the booze. There are infinite ways… But, there is one massive  commonality.   Ditching the booze in 21st century doesn't quite look like 3 full nights of ceremonial dancing under a full moon with the whole community anymore, but there are similarities.   Let's first check out what you don't hear when someone celebrates and alcohol-free milestone.   “Well, guys, I knew I was “fucked” so I locked myself in my room, read every quit lit book, listened to podcasts, learned how the mind works, and beat it.” I've yet to hear that one. Nothing even close.   What you do hear is, “I'd like to thank my best friend susan, my mom and dad, my AF community, my dog, the big oak tree in my back yard (That's an HP reference), and all my friends who were in my corner the whole time.” Or “I couldn't have done it without… Mike, Jim, Michelle  Javier and my pet canary ralph.” Okay, I think that's the last canary reference.   So, what does this mean? Let's get to the point. 1. You can't do this alone, and 2. You need community. This could be a close group or friends who know your desire to quit drinking, AA, Café RE, counselors etc. Ships need to be burned, or conversations with loved ones need to take place. Accountability is desperately needed. Even if you're not, and I'm using air quotes, “successful” with your decision to quit drinking, you're still developing tighter bonds and relationships in your life. According to Sebastian Junger, in his Book “Tribe” in times of crisis, people are wired to come together and help. This isn't a kind gesture from our friends, and family, or even completely strangers; it's biologically how we are wired. As I discussed in last episode, dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin are released when we help others. So when a drinking problem reaches a pinnacle moment, and I'd classify this as a crisis as it was for me in 2014, the people around us want to help. They need to help, it's good for them. They need these feel good chemicals also. Denying the loved ones in your life the opportunity to help you, is doing them a disservice.   So if you're ready to get off the merry round of hell, aka a drinking problem, two main things needs to happen. 1. You need to ask for help, 2. Receive the help. Most likely both are outside your comfort zone, and that's how it's supposed to be. Let the drinking problem push you into connection. I feel that's the main point of an addiction. Yes, addiction, or drinking problem serves a purpose. Everything does. That's the topic of 339. Does addiction serve a purpose?  We must first become aware of the addiction. This is the first step in I think every program involving steps, and then, open up. Yes, open up. The addiction is trying to crack you open. To find a spot where the light can enter, if you allow it.         Let's hear from Exact Nature.      [8:42] Odette welcomes Katie   Katie took her last drink July 12, 2020.  She is excited about  her one-year milestone and she feels free of the prison on alcohol.  She is going sky-diving to celebrate.  Katie said life is still hard, but she has freedom and clarity of mind without drinking.  Katie is 38 and lives in NE Ohio.  She has two sons. She is an executive assistant to a CEO for a large company.  She loves all things fitness and reading.     [52:17] Rapid Fire Round   What is your favorite non-alcoholic beverage? Sparkling water (lime flavor) with lots of ice and mint.   What has been an unexpected perk along this journey? Freedom and time that come with not planning how you will get your next drink.    What would you say to young people who are considering ditching the booze? Don't overcomplicate it, drinking is overrated.  You have more strength than you realize.  Everything in life you want to accomplish will be easier without liquor.  Having a clear head, mind and a simple life without the alcohol will be the beautiful things in your life.    You might need to say adios to booze if …. You stress months before the Christmas holiday about how you will cook the holiday meal and not drink all the wine in the house the night before.      Odette's Summary   Very well, team RE, that wraps our interview for today. Before I say adios I want to share something with you all. I asked all of YOU on our instagram a question that I normally ask in our podcast interview and I got some amazing responses. The prompt was: What would you say to your younger self?   Here is what some of you had to say:   Live for yourself. No amount of alcohol will make him see you. You are beautiful. Don't be afraid to show your true self. You are loved, you are worth it. You don't have to be “THEM” You are enough. It only matters what you think of yourself. Drugs and alcohol don't make you cool, being a good person does. It's ok to fail. Learn to love yourself. Being the wild party girl is not all its cracked up to be. You are going to make mistakes. It's inevitable. Handling the stress of it all will only be magnified a thousand if you drink about it. I love you. It wan't your fault. I see you and I am sorry you are hurting. See yourself, hold yourself at a high value. What you are chasing has been in your heart the whole time, not a bottle. Everything you think alcohol is helping you achieve is false. You are being held back. You can accomplish so much more sober. You are none of the things you say to yourself in your head. Be as kind to yourself as you are to others. You are allowed to feel the way you do and you don't have to hide it to please those around you. Let your hair grow long, let your laugh grow loud. Take your intuition seriously.   WOW. What a list.   Remember that you are not alone, and together, is always better.   Recovery elevator, you deserve love, acceptance and belonging. We can do this.     Today's Sponsor   BetterHelp  Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.    Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: Bozeman 2021 You can find more information about our events    The book, Alcohol is SH! T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes      “Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never know the light - I love you guys”

Episode 336 - Endorphins, Dopamine, Serotonin and Oxytocin   I need to admit myself somewhere.  I could sit here until I'm blue in the face and until I have some humility, this is not going to work.   Today we have Susan, she's 61, she's from Pennsylvania and took her last drink Nov 19th, 2017.  This is her story of living Alcohol Free (AF).    Events!   Due to Covid we had to cancel our Costa Rica sober travel trip, and an event in Denver. Those events are back on. We've got an AF trip to Costa Rica January 15-23rd 2022 that includes:  the cloud forest, the beach, chilling on a catamaran. Registration opens Sept 1 and we've got 33 spots available.  April 14th -17th 2022, we'll be in Denver Colorado at the Hilton Garden Inn at Union Station. This event will be about moving energy with music that is performed LIVE. Expect connection, small group breakout sessions and the opportunity to be your most authentic self. Registration opens Nov 1. You can find more information about our events      Paul's Intro   Today I will share information on the 4 main chemicals we're dealing with when we ditch the booze. I'm outline them, give a framework of how to work with these chemicals in a healthier way and a loose timeline of what to expect when you quit drinking and how these chemicals will come back into balance.     The four main players dance with an addiction are Endorphins, Dopamine, Serotonin and Oxytocin.   Endorphins and dopamine are the chemicals of progress. Short-term feel-good chemicals. And Serotonin and oxytocin are the long-term chemicals.   Let's cover the short-term molecules first: endorphins and dopamine   Endorphins - We often hear the word endorphins with exercise. And it's true. This is the reason for the runners high. Endorphins have one purpose - to mask physical pain. Since the body doesn't distinguish the difference between physical and emotional pain very well, this is why running, or physical movement helps us emotionally when we aren't feeling good.     Dopamine - This is the molecule we are mostly engaged with when dealing with an addiction. This is more accurately described as the learning molecule. Dopamine is viewed as an incentive for progress. The good feeling, we get when we do something necessary for survival. Addictions highjack the dopamine system. Alcohol raises the dopamine in our brains by over 100-200% and cocaine raises it by 300%… temporarily. Then there's a major crash.   Dopamine is highly addictive, and it should be. Human beings walked thousands of miles over the ice shelf of eastern Asia to the Americas because of dopamine.  The dopamine system worked great for humans, until the world modernized faster than the system could adapt.  Alcohol completely over runs this system   Long-term chemicals - These chemicals control our long-term feelings.   Serotonin - The selfless chemical. Oxytocin - The love molecule and the connection molecule.   Let's cover how we can work with these as we ditch the booze and then I'll give you a loose timeline of when these chemicals should start naturally emerging in your system again.   Endorphins - Keep running, keep gardening. This is a much healthier way to override the physical and emotional discomfort of quitting drinking. Also, laugh, laugh, laugh.   Dopamine - It's important we retrain the brain to release dopamine with other activities. Pick a short-term goal. Maybe it's learning the guitar, maybe it's finding a species of bird in the wild, or a snake. Science shows that a spike of dopamine is released when we help other people. Dopamine is a big reason we've done this podcast 336 straight Monday's.   Once we have the dopamine system cued to healthier stimuli then within time serotonin starts to naturally emerge. With this comes a sense of belonging. If we stick with it long enough, oxytocin will emerge on the scene.   The long-term chemicals are contagious. This is why we love inspiring movies that motivate us to perform our own selfless acts. This is why we cheer people on at marathons or say heck yes when we hear someone has hit an AF milestone.   Here's a loose timeline for this:   Endorphins: within the first 24-72 hours. Dopamine: within six months, depending on your habits.  Serotonin: 3-9 months. Oxytocin: 6-12 months.   This is all given that you're doing the work.   PAWS in recovery is post-acute withdrawal symptoms. I like to call them healing symptoms because it's the body, mind, soul, and spirit recalibrating itself without alcohol. Trust the process, stick with it, we got your back.   Let's hear from Betterhelp.  betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR     [13:52] Odette welcomes Susan   Susan's last drink was on November 19, 2017.   She feels great and every year is better.  Susan is 61 and single but was previously married.  She has a daughter and two grandchildren.  She is from Pennsylvania.  She moved to Los Angeles and lived there for thirty years.  She has also lived in Colorado and is now back on the East Coast.  She works for a medical device company.  She loves to read novels, cooking, exercise, the beach, bike riding and TV.    [15:49] Tell us about your history with drinking   Susan described 44 years of drinking.  Her first drink was at age 14 and she would sneak drinks with friends.  In high school she fell in love with the bad boy of the school and did a 360 in one day.  She went from straight A's and first clarinet to a party girl.  After her first pill and sips of beer, her inhibitions disappeared.  She partied like everyone else.  She married this bad boy very young, and they divorced at 21.  She moved to California and got involved with another guy. They drank together with friends.  She remarried and tried to clean up her home and life to have a family.  Giving up weed was easy, but she struggled relinquishing wine.  At 30, she admitted herself to a treatment center called Schick for a weekend and participated in an intensive outpatient program (IOP).  She went to a few AA meetings and was able to stay away from alcohol for four months.  When she returned to drinking, her drinking progressed.  She was raising her daughter, working and what many would describe as a functioning alcoholic.  She drank nightly, but not a lot.  Over the years, she made a few attempts to quit, tried counseling and AA again, but nothing was working.  She decided to accept it for what it was because she didn't have the time to do what you must do to quit.   [21:19] What was the tipping point that made you enter treatment?   Susan's father was an alcoholic, and she watched his drinking become progressive.  She knew it could happen to her and didn't want to become like her father.  The rest of her life was healthy.  She exercised and ate healthy foods and wondered how long she could continue drinking.  She described feeling like two people.  She was Miss Goody Two-Shoes during the day and at night she was drinking.    Susan always had faith and knew that God was protecting her but didn't want to push the limits and hurt others.  It took a while after that realization for her to attempt quitting.  She had some false starts where she would try but wasn't ready.   When her second grandchild was about to arrive, she knew she had to quit because she was fearful her first granddaughter would associate Mima with wine.    She spoke with her therapist and said she felt therapy was not enough and entered an intense outpatient program because she knew until she had some humility, it wouldn't work.   Her IOP was very diverse and encountered many people with several stories.  During IOP she would screw up every week.  She admitted it and, on the 19th, she called her sister (who is in recovery) who calmed her down.  Her sister mailed her a book called Acceptance* and she hasn't had a drink since.  She described her moment of acceptance, surrender and her daily routine of prayer and meditation.  *(https://www.my12stepstore.com/Acceptance-A-Way-to-Serenity.html?gclid=CjwKCAjwi9-HBhACEiwAPzUhHH_MXOMZLl8LTD-oZE98nSxHE2hhktBhXfpmEifPluupg-Mn8uIruxoCJUgQAvD_BwE)   [31:22] What were the first 90 days like?   Susan described having time to focus on herself.  She then took over as the nanny for her grandson and her daughter was able to trust her with the baby.  She gradually returned to work with part-time work.  At a year after she became sober, she returned to corporate America.   It continued to get easier with time.  She enjoyed podcasts.  Her dog had some health issues yet survived for six months.  When he passed, she was tempted to drink, but overcame the temptation.   She tries to mix up her recovery with AA meetings, podcasts, and anything to keep it interesting.  She loves Café RE because it gives her the flexibility of both worlds (AA and podcasts).  She now has a strong desire to help others in recovery.  The peace and freedom that comes with recovery has become the best way for her to live, she can't imagine anything better.   [40:21] What was behind drinking for you?   When looking at fears and resentments, she gained a new perspective.  She realized that something else may have been going on in the moment.  She learned to stop holding bad feelings and looking deep into the causes of certain things.  She uncovers new things regularly.  She is accepting, simplifying, and lowering her expectations.  It took her years not to want more.  She has more work to do and is open to the work.    [40:24] Do you still get cravings?   Susan doesn't get physical cravings but does have memory triggers.  While Christmas shopping last year, the memory of having wine at Christmas came into her head.  She did some thinking, played the tape forward and it passed quickly.  She does have a fear of dating because she has been single through her recovery.  Self-care or “me time” will remain a priority for her to maintain sobriety.    [47:11] What are your rituals in sobriety?   Susan gets up at 5 AM and reads a novel, then does her recovery reading including daily reflections and prayers.  She frequently listens to podcasts.  She watches to Joel Osteen regularly because he gives her hope that there are good people in this insane world.  Susan is a listener in AA meetings, she is an optimist, and she learns from others.  She has become a host for AA meetings and wants to give back.    [52:17] Rapid Fire Round   What is your favorite non-alcoholic beverage? Sparkling water (lime flavor) with lots of ice and mint.   What has been an unexpected perk along this journey? Freedom and time that come with not planning how you will get your next drink.    What would you say to young people who are considering ditching the booze? Don't overcomplicate it, drinking is overrated.  You have more strength than you realize.  Everything in life you want to accomplish will be easier without liquor.  Having a clear head, mind and a simple life without the alcohol will be the beautiful things in your life.    You might need to say adios to booze if …. You stress months before the Christmas holiday about how you will cook the holiday meal and not drink all the wine in the house the night before.      Odette's Summary   Odette recently returned from Guadalajara and while she was there, she celebrated her father's 12th sober birthday.  They attended an AA meeting together and she heard him tell his story.  She saw herself in his words.  We all walk alongside each other.  We the same lessons to learn, hurt to heal and joy to find.  Seeing her dad as a parent and fellow in recovery was challenging, but she left the meeting hopeful that we are all human, doing the best that we can.  Odette is grateful for the Café RE community that helps each other navigate the world, feel understood and gives us a sense of belonging.   Remember you are not alone.  If you want to go fast, go alone.  If you want to go far, go together.     Today's Sponsor   BetterHelp  Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.    Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: Bozeman 2021 You can find more information about our events    The book, Alcohol is SH! T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes      “Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never know the light - I love you guys”

Por Benjamín Fernández Bogado en www.ultimahora.com

This week we are joined by Kat Huson from AFBI to discuss the latest information from the GrassCheck plots and farms, Noel Lavery and Robert Patterson from CAFRE,  Geoffrey Malcolmson a GrassCheck dairy farmer who farms near Newry and Trevor Sommerville a GrassCheck Beef Farmer who farms near Dungannon.

Episode 334     You're not giving something up, you are getting so much more in return, it's just amazing.    Kevin is 53, from South Carolina and took his last drink on October 6, 2019.  This is his journey of living alcohol free (AF).      Today's show is sponsored by Better Help.    Kevin's interview is with Kris. You guys are going to love Kris's style. He's a grounded, laid back guy from North Dakota who fully gets the importance of connection. Just like you all gave me a chance, and Odette, please focus on the similarities, not the differences and welcome Kris.   Speaking of Kris, we've made 10 YouTube Videos, and some of them are funny, at least that's my opinion.  and our last video was my top 10 favorite recovery books. Go over to YouTube and type Recovery Elevator in the search bar.   I just finished the book “Breath” by James Nestor. The breath is the true foundation for all recovery work. It turns out, 5.5 breaths per minute is the optimal rate. That's 5.5 seconds on the inhale, and 5.5 on the exhale for a total of 5.5 per minute. So next time you're caught up in email apnea, pause and focus on the breath.  I highly recommend this book.  Breath by James Nestor  https://amzn.to/3zOJ1GZ.   Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side.   Okay, let's get started -   Today I want to talk about the incredible feature film on trauma and addiction by Dr. Gabor Mate. The film is called “The Wisdom of Trauma.” This film needed to be made and will move the needle in a healthy direction in terms of how we view addiction.   Film:  https://thewisdomoftrauma.com/    Book:  “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts” - Dr. Gabor Mate https://amzn.to/3xOAZx1   This film covers what addiction is. It covers how it happens, when the driving forces behind an addiction take hold in life and it also has practical ideas on how we should address addiction as a society and as the individual struggling with an addiction. On this podcast, you're most likely listening to address a drinking problem, but all addictions, for the most part are interchangeable, and the mechanisms are mostly the same.   Okay, no surprise here, he talks about trauma. And he is noted for saying that all addictions, start with trauma, and the baulk of that happens in adolescence. The start of addiction doesn't happen when you lose your job, but in infancy. Always. We often think that trauma must happen in Afghanistan, or a physically abusive parent but it also happens when we aren't hugged enough as a child or us not getting something we needed when we were young. Parents in the 20th and 21st centuries are pulled in so many directions, that unfortunately, this is common. It's the kiddos that pay the price.   Please don't take any of this energy and steer it towards your parents, etc. They did their best. That's not a healthy way to take this information.   This is an emotional film. I cried during parts of it.     He says that trauma happens when you disconnect with yourself, when you don't have anyone to talk with. When kids are alone with their hurt. Another way to say this is there wasn't a healthy way to move the energy. It got stuck. Humans talking about it, is the equivalent of a duck flapping its wings in nature, and we couldn't do that as a child. So, the body hangs on to the energy. But it's not fun energy to hang on to. In the western world one of the dominant ways this excess of energy manifests itself is through inflammation in the body.   He then talks about how we look at addiction as a poor choice. We, meaning society, and the individual.  Thank you, Mrs.  Regan for adding a couple of thick layers of pinyon pine to the stigma with the “Just say no” campaign from the 80's.  That didn't help much. Gabor, then reframes it by saying, the addiction wasn't a poor choice, it was the solution. I agree completely. In fact, I'd take it even further and say kudos you found a way to survive. It's now time to find healthier ways to cope since alcohol, will mess you up spiritually, mentally, and physically in the long run. Do not beat yourself up for having a drinking problem, you found a way to survive. And now it's time to find a healthier way to connect.  That's all we're doing here.   I like how Gabor calls out capitalism and most modern economies as fueling addictions. We are primed to feel we need to purchase something external for short term inner wholeness. For long term wholeness, this process must be replicated 100's and 1000's of times. This is great for the stock market, but not great for mental health. There's one word to summarize this. It's MORE. We are always looking for more. This is a major pickle in modern societies that we have address ASAP. He talks about how this addiction is destroying the earth. We don't have fix the earth, fix climate change or global warming.   We must fix ourselves and the individual level. Planet earth will be fine when we're gone. Our current way of living, which Eckart Tolle calls insane, is how we are conditioned. It's crazy, and unsustainable. This paradigm is shifting. You all are part of this paradigm shift.     Dr. Mate talks about how we are treating stress and addictions with more stressors. Most western illnesses are treated with steroids and cortisol creams. It's not curing or treating anything.   He talks about the two ways society treats or views addicts. That it's a choice, just say no, and if do say yes, you are warned with catchy commercials, then the user is punished. The penal system at the macro encourages intense shame guilt at the inner the micro level. That it's a disease, and not a choice. He feels this is a better approach, since people can then get treatment like any other disease but ignores why people really get addicted which has nothing to do with a disease. Dr. Gabor Mate is clear on his stance about if a drinking problem is a passed down genetic disease that runs in the family. He says it is not. He believes these adaptive behaviors, addictions, are learned and formed to survive in an environment that isn't conducive to wholeness or happiness. That's a lot to unpack. Seriously. Feel free to hit the pause button on your podcast player. I'm on board with this approach. In fact, I've switched my tune while doing the Recovery Elevator podcast. At first, I thought addiction was a passed down genetic disorder.  But now feel these behaviors are coping mechanisms that allow us to survive in environments that are full of static, car alarms, incorrect passwords, identify theft, violence, backstabbing, sexual abuse, spam phone calls,  and more. And we all must deal with this incoherent energy. Yes, I do believe this inharmonious energy is passed down generationally and we all must deal with it, not just the addicts. In fact, in most native cultures, when one person in a community was sick, the whole community came forth to help. The whole community would even brunt the financial costs because they knew, a sick person within a community, wasn't an outlier, but a representation that something was out of balance within the community. And today, in modern, society, we've got a lot of sick people, with depression being the number one cause of disability worldwide. Dr. Mate says that in the USA, the richest country in the world, 1/2 of its citizens have chronic illnesses, such as high blood pressure, diabetes, addictions etc. Another way to say that, is we got big houses, big guns indeed, but we're disconnected and need help. This is also the point of an addiction. A fear, or a marker of sorts that something is out of balance and needs attention.   So how do we treat this? Dr. Mate says, the modern medical paradigm separates the mind from the body and separates the person from the environment. I think he would agree that we need to use the mind to come into the body, and not leave it or disassociate with it. I know he would agree that we must recognize there's an in imbalance. Sure, it's the first step in all 12 step programs, but science shows this also. You can't make change in anything, until a consciousness is there to witness it, or say “yes, this is here, and I'm going to deal with it.” There is not a right or wrong way to address an addiction, but what I've learned here at RE, is that community must be a component of this. A HUGE component. As in the blades of a helicopter. Or the propeller on a prop plane, or the wheels on a car.   We've all heard what you resist persists. Thank you, psychologist Carl Jung. At the individual level, we must recognize something is out of balance. At the group level, we do the same - and it can be a lot of fun.   At the individual level, you're doing it. You're listening. Which means you're open to a whole new way of living. This is what gets me excited about Recovery Elevator. Its exploring new ways to live, that don't require alcohol to be happy. And we are all figuring this out together.   Before we hear from Kris and Kevin, Let's hear from Betterhelp.   Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 1,000,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.    [12:55] Kris introduces Kevin   Kevin took his last drink on October 6, 2019, he is creeping up on two years and he feels great.  Not every day is great or happy, but he feels better equipped to handle what life throws at him.    [14:02] Give us a little background on you.   Kevin is 53 and lived in Long Island for most of his life.  He now lives in Bluffton, South Carolina.  He is not married, has an awesome girlfriend, and has dogs named Ben and Jerry.  He loves to read; he loves the outdoors, and he loves to work.    [15:39] Tell us about your relationship with alcohol and how did that evolve over time?   Kevin said it had a lifespan.  He started drinking in 8th or 9th grade experimenting.  He moved to Long Island in 4th grade.  He made a lot of friends, but never felt like he fit in.  In the late 80's he was drinking heavily.  At the time, he didn't think it was a problem.  College was a continuation – binge drinking on the weekend.  He drank through snowstorms, nice weather, hiking, etc.  He thought it was normal because everyone else was doing it.    [17:25] Did you have any consequences from your early years of drinking?   Kevin's parents were strict.  His parents knew he was drinking, and his older brother never drank.   He became the project for his older brother.  After college he got married and his drinking slowed down a bit.  Being married and becoming a new Dad, living in a high rent district was stressful.  Kevin describes himself as high functioning.  He had a nice house, nice family and on the weekends, he drank a lot.  In 2009, he got a DUI.  He reflected on rock bottoms and his wife (an attorney) was able to help.  He avoided additional jail time and he slowed down his drinking for a time.    [20:06] You described having a nice house and a job, did your high functioning ever lead you to believe you didn't have a problem?   Kevin said, he looked great on paper.  He had a business, a nice house, he supported charities, he was on the little league board and was a “good dude”.  He knew he had a problem with alcohol.  He was a fun drunk and was a great guy to hang out with.  At 3 AM, he was sweating, his heart was racing, and he knew something wasn't right.    [22:15] Walk us forward, tell us more   Kevin tried to maintain the status quo.  He and his wife got divorced.  He believes his wife deserved better and alcohol had an impact but wasn't the only factor in their divorce.  The alcohol affected his ability to rebuild the marriage.  His drinking reached a new level post-divorce.  He spent a lot of time on his own.  He frequented sports bars and the “type” of drinking escalated.  He felt a lot of guilt and shame.  The salve of alcohol didn't last for more than 20 minutes.  He knew something was wrong.  Kevin put lots of rules on himself – only drink…. He would make a rule, break it, and invent three more.  Only this, only that ….. Annie Grace's book first got him to explore quitting.  Annie's podcast mentioned Paul Churchill.  Kevin has met Paul a few times and says, Paul ruined drinking for him.    Value Bomb – when you are in it, it's so subtle.  It takes a different form than you a realize.    [27:52] Paul ruined it for you, so what happens next?   Kevin was driving home and hit a rumble strip and he thought to himself – I've got good kids, good friends, and a great business.   Two days later he went to a street festival, and he had a beer or two and he decided on 10/6/2019 he knew, this is it!  He had dozens of days one's day 6's and day whatever's.   He knew it was over.    Value Bomb – Your resets are not for nothingness.  They help you establish the willingness to move forward. Dig in, keep learning, it's all growth.   [30:57] What did the first 30/60/90 days look like for you?   Kevin leaned in heavy on Café RE.  He took the advice.  He took naps when he needed them.  He cut back on work a bit. He cut back on engagements.  He learned to set boundaries.  He learned to leave respectfully.  He learned to prepare and had he faked a few gin and tonics.  He embraced NA beer.  He avoided drinking. The cravings dissipated over time.  Kevin craved situations more than the alcohol – college football, Superbowl.  He had the willingness.  Preparation was key.  As people  became aware he wasn't drinking, it became easier.  After a little practice, it became easier every time.  Setting boundaries was huge.   Value Bomb – we grow and learn what situations we want to be in an those we don't.  It's okay to let go of certain situations.    [36:43] How did drinking impact your relationships?   Kevin said his parents were never drinkers, so there wasn't much of an issue.  In his first marriage, he acknowledges drinking made him less patient.  Drinking takes up a lot of your money, your health, and your time.  Kevin now has great relationships with his parents, his sons, and his ex-wife.  He has been able to repair those important relationships and have deeper conversations.  His relationship with his employees evolved and he learned to take a genuine interest and helps others.49:22   [40:22] Walk us though what your recovery looks like now.    Kevin is an early riser.  He carves out 90 minutes every morning and he reads, meditates, and writes.  He spends time with his dogs, goes to work and spends time with friends in the evening.  He travels to New York to spend time with his kids.  Café RE keeps him connected to the community.      [41:45] Rapid Fire Round   What was your AHA or OSM (oh sh!t moment) about controlling drinking? Driving home from a brew pub and hitting the rumble strip became his AHA moment.    What is your plan in sobriety moving forward? My plan is to keep doing what I'm doing.  It's not a linear trip.  He has dip days.  He is going to Café RE meet ups.  The zoom chats help, and he offers words of encouragement.  Staying connected is key.    Regarding sobriety, what's the best advice you ever received? Be kind to yourself.  Look at yourself like your dogs look at you.  Loathing yourself isn't productive.  The journey has a lot of whacky dips and bumps.  Be kind to yourself.    What parting piece of guidance do you have for listeners? You must want to do it and you must do it for yourself.  Figure out your why.  It can't be just for your spouse or your kids. You aren't giving something up.  You are getting so much more in return.    You may have to ditch the booze if …   Kevin didn't want to rupture or end his relationship with his kids, the most wonderful relationships in his life.    Kris's closing comments   Kris talks about the scale going up after he quit drinking.  He talked about the big dreams that come with sobriety.  Patience is key to getting healthy and achieving your goals.  Manage your expectations.  Let the work do its work.  It's okay for some things to take a back seat.  Embrace positive affirmations and gratitude.  Love yourself, you are doing amazing things.  Kris said as he listened to other guests, he learned and has he learned he healed.  He is grateful to other guests and his Café RE family.  kris@recoveryelevator.com.    Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: Bozeman 2021 (August 18-22, 2021) registration opens March 1! This is our flagship annual retreat held in the pristine forests of Big Sky Country, 10 miles south of Bozeman, Montana. During this 5-day event, you'll discover how to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone. You can find more information about our events    Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.    Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.   The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes      “Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never know the light - I love you guys”      

Episode 332 – Find More Joy   One of the biggest things that kept me drinking as I long as I did was that shame circle.  I would drink, do something stupid, embarrass myself, feel terrible and then drink again because I couldn't handle my feelings.    Brett is 27 years old, lives in San Francisco, CA and took her last drink on January 2, 2020.  This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF).      If you love our intro and outro music then check out the artist DJ NYE on Spotify, and that link is in the show notes. Also in the show notes are links to download, for free, our intro and outro music, That's with my voice sampling and ET Tolle's voice samplings.   DJ NYE on Spotify.   Intro and Outro Music. Intro Paul: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/RE_Paul_Intro.mp3 Intro Eckhart Tolle: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/RE_ET_Intro.mp3 Outro Paul: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/Paul_RE_Outro.mp3 Outro Eckhart Tolle:https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/Eckhart_Tolle_Outro.mp3     Today is June 28th. This Thursday, July 1st, is the start date of our intensive 13 session course for the month of July. We meet three times per week, Monday, Thursday and Sunday. Mondays and Thursdays are classroom style format, with intimate breakout rooms and Sundays are for guest speakers, Q&A, and we've for an AF Beverage workshop hosted by Kate (episode 315). We polled previous course participants and 72% of them remained alcohol free for the duration of our last course. How cool is that. You'll have course assignments and daily discussion prompts in your WhatsApp groups. This course is all about connection and having fun. Go to Recoveryelevator.com/restore or click the link in the show notes, to sign up and for more info.   And don't forget that land tortoises are the longest living animals on the planet and that TIB is still the best band in the world. One of those is fact, the other opinion but for the most part undebatable.     Okay, let's get started -   I'm going to cover two things today. 1. The importance of purposefully adding more joy into your life and 2. Recently while traveling, I came across the most vicious sports mascot ever. I still get goosebumps when I think of the deadly mascot.   Okay, let's talk about joy. And this may seem like common sense, but it's not because so many of us postpone, skip, or have forgotten about joy altogether. Like the “how to” part.  And now seems like a good time to insert a quote about joy.   “Joy does not simply happen to us - we have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” - Henri Nouwen   Let's look at a sample to do list. Drop package off at post office. Return mortgage papers to lender Take Ben to Vet Edit website copy for upcoming event. Play piano.   Now this may or may not be my to do list,  and yours may be similar,  And I'm referring to the order. I've got playing the piano last. We tell ourselves we need to get all the grown-up tasks done first. Kids, job, house, feeding the family, pets, why didn't my sprinklers turn on last night, then last on that list is US.   Here's my HARD ask of you. Make a point to do something every day that you find joyful. And here's the important part. Do it first. Before all the other stuff that has the potential to zap all the creative energy out of you.   About 3 months ago, I stared taking piano lessons. I went from chop sticks to now I can the Scientist and Clocks on the piano by Coldplay. Can't sing them yet because that's some major rubbing your tummy and patting your head type sh$t, but I'm working on it. At first, I would practice piano at the end of the day, when my mind was sometimes ready for a nap, and the mind is in high beta brain waves… borderline stressed from the day.   It worked, but some days I had to force it. Then I flipped the to-do list. I started playing the piano first thing in the morning. Before all the adulting took place. Here's what I found. When we do something we enjoy, there's a natural creative energy that arises, that makes things tolerable, even pleasant. Here's the important part. This energy, consciousness, will then overlap into the next task or project. I quickly found I was more effective at all remaining tasks for the day, and they all became more joyful. So, I try to practice piano or music every morning. This flip has had a big impact on my quality of life.   Let's tie this into sobriety. When we are doing something we enjoy, we enter into a flow state where time and our problems seem do disappear. Flow states, or when we are fully mentally immersed in a task, are healthy because we aren't thinking about how the F, we're going to quit drinking. Another way to say this, is the neural connections that fortify an addiction begin to soften and something else is strengthened, be it gardening, reading, hiking, or whatever. Again, our mental energies aren't “in” the addiction, or the “story.” You're like - “A crap, this guy is back with his getting out of the story stuff again.” And for the record, this will be the 245th time I've said you can't think yourself out of an addiction.   Joy solo is great, for example playing the violin. But if you have the option, play the violin with another violinist, or a cellist - bonus points.   You know how most dogs are a nudge away from playing? That's how human beings are as well, we're just living a life that's been filled with so much muck and noise that we must make a point, and effort to get back to this natural state.   If you're like, “Hey Pablo” I recently quit drinking, and I have no clue what I like to do for fun anymore. Well, that's the work. Find out again. Rule 22. Have fun and lighten up.   Okay, one more thing I want to cover, and I'm trembling with fear while I write this. On my way back from our Atlanta Meet-up, thank you Alan (episode 267) for such an awesome weekend, I saw a bunch of large dudes, in the security line at the airport. They were all wearing matching jackets,  and sweatpants, so I assumed they were part of a sports team that probably involves physical contact. On the crest of the jacket was the logo… the mascot. When I finally saw it, I stopped dead in my tracks. It was as if I was frozen, unresponsive. No, it wasn't a ferocious eagle, hawk, wolf, shark, or bear, it something much worse, much deadlier, something that would perhaps cause the other team to not even take the field. I can image players on the other team saying, my uncle died from that beast,  their mascot has destroyed my family, and so forth. So, what's the mascot? It was Martini glass. It was the professional Los Angeles Rugby team “The Giltinis.” If you want to pick a mascot that leaves a devastating wake of wreckage on society,  well then, they nailed it, because my google search of has an “eagle” or “hawk” ever killed a human being, came up with nil. But alcohol on the other hand….   Okay, now let's here from Betterhelp and then we'll here from Brett.   Today's show is sponsored by Better Help.    Mental health matters, and as we continue to live through this pandemic and slowly go back to resuming activities such as going back to work or attending some social gatherings, it's important to have someone that can help us process all our emotions and life stressors. Betterhelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. Betterhelp provides a broad range of expertise available which may not be locally available in many areas. The platform is super easy to navigate - you can login into your account at any time and interact with your counselor by sending them a message. You'll get timely and thoughtful responses, plus you can schedule weekly video or phone sessions. Betterhelp is more affordable than the traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available.   Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.        [10:38] Odette introduces Brett.   Brett took her last drink on January 2, 2020.    [11:07] How are you feeling?   Brett says she is feeling good.  Drinking feels like a very long time ago in a good way.   [11:40] Give us a little background on you.   Brett is originally from Rhode Island, but currently lives in San Francisco.  She is in tech consulting.  She is 27 and in a relationship.  She loves going to the Farmer's market, reading non-fiction, NA drinks, attending to her MANY plants and she hopes to adopt a dog this year.    [13:04] Tell us about your history with drinking   Brett had her first drink at 12 or 13 and was pre-gaming with her sister for her high school senior prom.  Her sister and a friend were drinking a clear liquid and laughing and getting a bit gigglier. She looked up to her sister, she was so cool, and Brett wanted to be part of the crowd.   At 14-15, alcohol became a social thing.   She went to a small Quaker school and early exposure to alcohol came from older siblings. Peer pressure was a big thing. Alcohol was a staple at all the parties.    Brett thought everyone was blacking out and it wasn't until age 21 that she understood you could drink without blacking out.  Her parents would pick her up from parties, then ground her and make her write essays on alcohol, how it was made, where it came from, etc.    [16:41] Where was your heart and your emotional state?   Brett said the cycle of shame kept her drinking for a long time.   She would drink, do something stupid, embarrass herself, feel terrible and then drink again because she couldn't handle her feelings.  She was going through a lot as a kid and has since been diagnosed as bipolar 2.  She was experiencing all those symptoms as a kid and didn't know what to do with them.  She was scared and wondering what was wrong with her, but not sure what.  She was also rebellious.   Value Bomb – Emotional regulation is something we don't learn about early enough.   [19:34] What happened after high school?   Brett said during her junior year, her dream was to get as far away from Rhode Island as possible (a geographic).  She applied to Hawaii Pacific University but ended up at Loyola in Baltimore because nobody from her school was going there.  It was the party school and Brett had a fake ID and she was the party girl.  She had good friends, nothing bad happened and she achieved a 4.0 GPA.  She transferred to Northeastern and found a good group of drinking friends.  She had her first depressive episode and called her mom during  a complete panic attack.  The school psychiatrist suggested she had bipolar 2.  She was in denial.  She tried to manage her ups and downs with alcohol and cocaine.  She really hurt some people during her episodes and needs to make amends.   [23:02] Can you walk us through what a bipolar cycle is like for you?   Brett said, bipolar is difficult to diagnose for many reasons and it presents differently for different people.  Her alcohol and cocaine use augmented the ups and downs and made diagnosis more challenging.  Brett's experience was feeling exhausted, tired, and unable to get out of bed.  She would rather pee in a cup than go to the bathroom.  She had muscle soreness and lots of tears, crying for no reason.  Suicidal ideation would come 2-3 days in, and she would circle a drain of worthlessness.  The booze turned the dial up and made the episodes longer. She also had blips of hypomania including high bursts of energy, talking fast and urgent shopping among other things.  She wasn't ready to hear about her diagnosis, but had challenges functioning and felt shame and guilt as a result.  She went to a dual-diagnosis rehab, which was very freeing for her.   [28:36] What led you to rehab?   Brett said she frequently texted her family members accusing them of not loving or caring about her.  In 2020, she messaged her parents, and her parents became alarmed.  Her mom called, bought her a plane ticket, and offered to come pick her up.  Her Mom was researching rehab programs.  Brett had severe withdrawal symptoms and called the rehab to understand the rules.  She described getting to the airport 12 hours early because she had no concept of time.  She did go to the ER to address her withdrawal symptoms.  A few days later they were in the car on the way to a rehab in Massachusetts.    Brett said the life she built for herself in 15 months of sobriety is what she always wanted when she was drinking and using.  She had been drinking and using for 15 years.  She appreciates how wild, weird, and wonderful that is.   [34:20] How long were you in rehab?   Brett said for two weeks, and she would go back if she could.   The food was amazing, and the staff was talented and supportive.  She said it saved her life and she enjoyed most of it.  Insurance only covered two weeks.  Brett wondered why things had to get so bad that she to put her life on hold to get better.  Figuring out the fundamental things has prompted her to check in with herself daily.  She said we can't be afraid to prioritize ourselves.    [40:00] How was leaving rehab and what was it like for the next 30 days?   Brett said after treatment she went home to her parents' home for over a month.  She took time away from work and it was a safe bubbled space.  She explored AA and Smart Recovery meetings.  She returned to work part time.  Upon returning to San Francisco, she entered her bedroom and the whole room was in shambled.  There were bottles and mess everywhere because she was in a blackout when she left.  It was hard, but not triggering.  She took it slow and found a therapist and a psychiatrist.  After the pandemic hit, she turned to Instagram.  She found Carla and Sober IRL (https://www.soberirl.com/) and that kickstarted her desire to stay sober.   She continued the medications that were prescribed at rehab and the medication journey was a short one.    [43:30] What tools worked for you?   Brett said in the beginning fear of withdrawal was a huge motivator.  As she got more time, AA meetings, podcasts (Café RE and Recovery Happy Hour), reading (This Naked Mind, The Four Agreements) and the Instagram community helped.  Brett said when you put yourself out there, people take you into their arms and help you find your people.    [46:36] What helped you overcome cravings?   Brett said she didn't have any physical cravings.  The itchiness with herself can be triggering and she learned to play the tape forward in rehab.  She leverages her sponsor, exercise, and leverages TIP exercises (https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/distress-tolerance/tipp/) and baths/showers and cries.  Saying out loud she wants a drink and getting it out of her head gives it less power.    [49:42] What is your favorite NA beverage?   Brett said her current favorite is the Mikkeller Limbo Raspberry NA beer.   [53:10] Rapid Fire Round   If you could talk to your younger self, what would you say. I'm proud of you, it's going to be okay.   What's a lightbulb moment Sleep is restful   What's an unexpected perk of being sober? More money, disposable income   What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Ben & Jerry's Tonight dough   What parting piece of guidance do you have for listeners? Just do it, you are worth it!    You may have to say Adios to booze if … You have accumulated so much debt, you must Venmo borrow from yourself to get alcohol.    Odette's Summary   Odette reflects upon a recent reading of Gabor Mate where he says, ‘we continue to treat people who struggle with addiction poorly.  If you think about it, addiction is not a problem.   Addiction is a solution to a problem: our trauma, our suppressed emotions, our unhealed pain.'  Odette is grateful that Recovery Elevator is part of the solution.  We see you and we are here for you.  It all starts from the inside out.     Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: Bozeman 2021 (August 18-22, 2021) registration opens March 1! This is our flagship annual retreat held in the pristine forests of Big Sky Country, 10 miles south of Bozeman, Montana. During this 5-day event, you'll discover how to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone. You can find more information about our events    Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.    Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.   The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes      “Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never know the light - I love you guys”      

Episode 331 – we hear from Laura!   Community is so important.  It is so important to connect with ourselves, our source energy, or other people.  All those things get disconnected with addiction. Reconnecting with the world is an important part of recovery.   On today's podcast we have Laura who is from Austin, TX and took her last drink on September 16, 2019.  This is her journey of living live alcohol free (AF).     Headlines   Laura's Amazing Journey [16:04]– you will hear about Laura's story, and she has some great insights for all of us along this journey to gaining or maintaining sobriety.   Paul Churchill is back! He is using his Kermit the frog impression.   He missed us all and is so grateful to Odette and all of us for giving him a break this past year. Listen to his insights about his key learnings during the last year [11:20]. Paul describes being sick, mentally physically and spiritually.   He is dedicated and energized to continue Recovery Elevator (RE).   Season Three! 52 episodes – Paul will do 46 intros; Odette will do 6 and welcome Chris who will do an interview every month   RESTORE 13 session alcohol free Dry July course! com/restore 75-minute sessions on Monday, Thursday and Sunday with homework sessions including: Calming the mind Building accountability Dealing with intense emotions How to have fun without alcohol Addressing unhealthy thoughts Sound Healing AF Free beverages and more! Day 1 or more and Patrick and Odette are coaching with Paul.   Odette Rocked It and she is still here! Paul gave many stats about how a podcast survives in a pandemic.  Paul also learned so much from listening to Odette take the from seat on the podcast.  His discoveries among many include:   Focus on wholeness Be honest Be vulnerable Time has its own timeline Understanding your relationship with food Expand your team (you are not in this alone) Have Fun! Sobriety is not a curse.      Laura's Story   [16:04] Odette welcomes Laura   Laura's last drink was September 16, 2019.   Laura feels great and has ups and downs and is present and grateful.  She lives in Austin, Texas where she owns a spa and does bodywork and energy work.  She is working with Supernatural Recovery.  She is a single mom to an 8-year-old daughter and loves meditation and yoga.    [17:40]  Tell us about your path with drinking   Laura grew up in an alcohol abusive family.  She started smoking pot and LSD at 14.  She didn't want to drink because of her parent's drinking.  She was raped at 16 and started drinking to overcome her panic attacks.   She was imprisoned, tortured, and sexually abused for two years.  She escaped from her abuser at 18, went to college and her PTSD symptoms became really apparent.  She was hospitalized until she could become mentally stable.  She continued drinking for 20 years.  She was often functioning and often not, it swung back and forth.  She didn't have any rock bottom moments, she lived in rock bottom for several years.  After several false starts she was able to stop drinking in 2019.   [20:57] What was your inner dialogue when you started using alcohol?   Laura realized if she was drunk enough, she didn't have a panic attack.  She was doing things that weren't healthy, but it was how she survived.  She is also in recovery for an eating disorder.  As part of that journey, she realizes she developed a lot of maladaptive coping mechanism that were survival instincts to help her disassociate.   [23:27] How was sharing your abuse with the world?   Laura said she didn't share very much.  She minimized her early trauma.  Integrating her alcohol recovery with heavy trauma therapy has helped her and as her sobriety time increases, more memories surface surfaced.  The heavy trauma therapy helped her understand why it was so difficult for her to get sober.  Her trauma and alcoholism to hand in hand.    [25:29] Have recurring memories of trauma been a trigger for you?   Laura said sobriety has been an awakening process.  She has discovered some radical truths and uncovering new information about her trauma and her family of origin.  Her therapist has helped her reconcile those awakenings.   [26:35] How did you approach your healing journey?   Laura wrote a book about her journey which is part of Supernatural Recovery.  There are four cornerstones including:  caring for your physical body (nutrition, hydration, exercise), trauma relief (body work, energy work, plant medicine, acupuncture), calming your nervous system (finding new ways to handle your body when her nervous system was activated), forgiveness and self-compassion which been the part of it.  She is learning how to enjoy her life and avoid negative relationship patterns.   [29:20] How did you discover these alternative tools?   Laura said because of her body work practice, she is connected to many resources in the Austin recovery community. She learned to release trauma and find new ways to live her life.    [31:14] How was early sobriety for you?    Laura said she did not have a pink cloud.  She cried all day every day for the first 90 days.  Hiking daily, getting outside and the Recovery Elevator podcast were very helpful so she could be vulnerable and honest.  At about 90 days, yoga helped her to feel better.  When she began working with a somatic process, it helped her to become stronger and more committed.  The book, The Energy Codes was helpful and has become a cornerstone of her program.    [34:53] Tell me about the relationship between your alcohol recovery and your eating disorder?   Laura said she played addiction whack a mole for some time.  Healing isn't linear and learning to avoid self-abuse has ups and downs.   [37:20] What role does community have in your healing?   Laura said community is so important.  Reconnecting with your source energy, people, and the world when you are recovering is important.  She dipped her toes in AA and the 12 Steps, and found it wasn't for her.  The Austin based yoga recovery community has yoga and meditation classes that have been instrumental to her recovery.  Café RE was important to her in the early days.   [38:55] Do you still go to therapy?   Laura said yes!  She began therapy before she got sober.  Her therapist specializes in empaths and highly sensitives.  When Laura wanted to stop drinking, worked for a year and a half.   She had several false starts, and her therapist helped her get to the other side.  Her therapist has inspired her to pursue a master's degree in counseling.   [40:42] What has recovery made possible for you?   Laura said what she is building with Supernatural Recovery and writing a book that is about to get published.  Education is a part of her journey.  She has a better handle on her emotional reactions.  Service is also gift in her recovery.   [42:30] Do you still get cravings?   Laura said yes and she currently uses fancy olives.  In her early days she would take a shot of apple cider vinegar.  Calming her body and spending time in nature help.  The disease is to disconnect, and the medicine is to stay present.  Breathwork also helps.  Yoga has helped her train her mind to be her friend.    [44:45] What reactions from others have you experienced since you quit drinking?   Laura said people in her life were relieved, happy, and proud.  She has lost some friends along the way because she wasn't a happy, fun drinker. Sometimes people can't come with you on any awakening journey.  At the end of the day, you must choose yourself.  Letting go with gratitude helps avoid bad blood.    [46:58] Have you been able to identify any triggers?   Laura said her triggers are emotional, worrying about her daughter and getting hungry.  When she thinks she might want a drink, she now can recognize the trigger, let go of the thought and solve it with self-care.  Her daughter is learning to use those tools as well.    [49:14] What does a day in your life look like?   Laura said after dropping her daughter at school, she runs or walks, takes clients, yoga, works on her website or editing her book. On the weekends she spends time outside and hikes with friends.    Teaching her daughter about self-care and handling your emotions is important.  Her recovery has made her strong and help others heal.   [53:57] When does your book come out?   It is slated to be published through the Balboa press within the next 4-5 months.  She is excited share the broad menu of recovery with others.   [55:15] Rapid Fire Round   If you could talk to your younger self, what would you say? It's going to be okay.  You are an incredible, strong person.  You are going to get through this and help others.   What is your favorite NA beverage? Kin Euphorics https://www.kineuphorics.com   What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? Supernatural Recovery, Café RE, and yoga.   What's an unexpected perk of being sober? Her skin, her eyes are brighter and that increases her confidence.   What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Have compassion for yourself.  The healing journey is not linear.  If you are trying and you haven't made it yet, realize the more you beat yourself up, the harder it gets.   You might need to say Adios to booze if … When a bottle is half empty and you go to the store because you are worried about running out.    Odette's Summary   Odette says a heartfelt thank you to those that help with the podcast, the listeners and to Paul for giving her the opportunity to be your host.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: Bozeman 2021 (August 18-22, 2021). This is our flagship annual retreat held in the pristine forests of Big Sky Country, 10 miles south of Bozeman, Montana. During this 5-day event, you'll discover how to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone. You can find more information about our events    Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.    Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.   The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   

Episode 329 – I started to notice the expectations putting an expectation on things or a timeline or predict  reactions.  I try to do what I can every day and try not to put expectations on things anymore.    Dane took his last drink on October 11, 2020.  He is from Washington State, and he is 32 years old.  This is his journey of living alcohol free (AF).   Season 3 of the Recovery Elevator podcast begins June 21st.  We are focused on having fun, staying authentic and helping others along the way.    Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message.   Odette spoke about her beloved Peleton and the arsenal of “why's”. and thought shifts.  The instructor encouraged Odette to dig into her arsenal of why's and keep going.    Odette reflected on Simon Sinek's book,  Start with Why.   Odette reflected on her time in rehab.   She focused on why she was recovering from food addiction.  She knew having a family was her why and   Actions can be driven by fear or manipulation or love and inspiration.  Simon says few people or companies can articulate why they do what they do.    Charisma has nothing to do with energy, it come from clarity of WHY.  Energy comes from good sleep or caffeine.  Charisma comes from loyalty, energy does not.  Our purpose is to stay on the path of an alcohol-free life.  Odette wants to stay sober so her kids can have a health, not perfect role model.  Odette wants to have healthy relationships and break toxic patterns in society .  Odette has many why's and she leans on those whys when her tank is empty.  Hard days are part of a good life.  Dig into your arsenal of WHY's.      [7:56]  Odette introduces Dane   Dane took his last drink on October 11, 2020.  He lives in Washington State. He is a buy and hold real estate investor.  He subcontracts with janitorial work.  He is 32 and single.  He has a son arriving in June.   He was an only child, so he is hoping to make it as fun as possible.  He loves to travel, seeing culture, history, and food.  He loves cross fit, yoga, the river, boating and is returning to meditation.    [10:49] Tell us about your history with drinking?   Dane said he started drinking in high school  He and a friend drank a fifth.  In junior year, beer was the drink of choice.  In college he was mixing drinks and he noticed things going downhill.  He had a rock bottom moment; he was in a car accident.  He was transported to Portland and was in the hospital for 30 days.  He was de-gloved.  After a year of healing, he returned to college to get his degree.  For two months he didn't drink.  When he started again, he would black out and it went downhill from there.    [14:13] Were you questioning your relationship with alcohol when your accident occurred?   Dane said the night of the accident, he didn't drink any more than usual.  A psychology class prompted him to think about how much he drank.  He moderated and binge drank on the weekends.  Everybody drank in college, so it didn't seem like a big deal.     [16:08] What happened after college?   After college, Dane moved to Seattle for a large city experience.  He binged with his friends on the weekends.  He began to distance himself from his friends so he wouldn't drink as much.  He went home to visit him family.  His business and his family inspired him to move back to Eastern Washington.   [17:40}. When did you attempt to stop drinking?   Dane said he and his girlfriend had an argument.  He didn't remember any of it.  He drove back to his house and awoke with shame, guilt, and anxiety.   He tried to quit before, but generally avoiding his friends and moderating. He knew the life he wanted to have wouldn't exist without drinking.   [19:47] What was your thought process about quitting?   Dane said once the car accident happened it put a bull's eye on him.  It put him on the map with an alcohol problem.  People asked him about quitting or moderating.    When people asked him about quitting, he wanted the details so he could understand it.   Dane googled how to quit drinking or famous people who quit drinking.   He knew for five years, he needed to quit, he just didn't know how.   [24:06] What happened on October 10th?   I had an argument with my girlfriend and I couldn't remember any of it.  The first three days were recuperation.   He continued looking at other nondrinkers.  Dane found Café RE, and a weight was lifted.  He knew he was not alone.   As he continues getting tools, he knows his life is better.    He realized he was a good person but didn't show his best character when drinking.     [27:34] How did you handle early sobriety?   Dane said he was always a binge drinker, and he listened to podcasts and focused on podcasts, yoga, and healthy food.   He is tempted with a cold beer or a shot, but he goes back to what he may feel, do, or say.   Dane often thought he didn't have a problem because he wasn't a daily drinker.    A lot of times the hard things are hard.  We think backwards.    He lets people know he isn't drinking. Many people ask him how many days he has.    Dane gave a shout out to P   [37:27] Do you have a favorite non-alcoholic drink?   Dane said Topo Chico and Fred Meyer's Selzer water.  He loves the feeling.  He also does some NA beers.  He goes to water quickly. [38:55} Have you noticed any changes in your daily routine?   Dane said he is sleeping a lot more.  He acknowledges his body is healing and he needs the sleep.  Day to day he works out and goes to one of his properties.  He is working on meditation.    Dane is managing his expectations and tries to limit them.         [43 21:] Rapid Fire Round     What is a lightbulb moment you have you had in this journey? I feel better physically and mentally   What would you say to your younger self? Try the experiment but acknowledge your goals for your body and your spirit.     What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Ben & Jerry's tonight dough.   What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners who are considering ditching the booze?   You are going to feel shitty, but you must let go of alcohol as the crutch.    You may have to say Adios to booze if … If you almost die, almost lose your arm….   Odette's Summary   Odette challenges us to build our list of why's.  Find all the reasons why you want to stay committed to ditching the booze.    This isn't a no to alcohol, but a yes to  a better life.      Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.    Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.   The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes      “Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never know the light - I love you guys”    

Episode 327 – trying to stop and think about, is alcohol serving me?  I don’t have to decide right now, I need to get back to basics.   Chloe took her last drink on June 7, 2020.  She is from the UK and is 32 years old.  This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF).   Odette gave a shout out to Brainwashed Coffee that is one of the sponsors of the Bozeman retreat.  They also donate 50% of their proceeds to those in addiction recovery.  https://www.brainwashedcoffeeco.com/  Promo Code:  elevator for a 20% discount.   Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message.   Odette spoke about growing up with her brother, Charlie and playing lots of video games.  Odette talked about trust and video games.  Trust is earned.  The more you do the next right thing and protect your sobriety, you get to the next level, just the way you level up when playing video games.  Facing recovery with fun instead of fear helps you recognize your increasing skills that come with practice.    [6:09]  Odette introduces Chloe   Chloe took her last drink on June 7, 2020.  She said it has been a crazy journey.  Chloe is 32 and lives in the UK.  She has a dog, and she loves walking the dog, running, anything active.   [7:16] Tell us about your history with drinking?   Chloe started drinking at age 15.  She was a binge drinker like many of her friends.  She didn’t see it as a problem until her mid to late twenties.  She started listening to the Recovery Elevator podcast.  She reached one-year of sobriety and had a relapse that was lengthy.  As of this recording she has 8 months of continuous sobriety.   [8:19] What put you on the trajectory to quit drinking?   Chloe said she wanted to drink more than she could get away with.  As her moderation journey continued, her drinking got worse.  She got depressed and was in a bad relationship.  She attempted suicide and was put into an inpatient program for depression.  She was sneaking alcohol while in the program but didn’t relate the correlation between drinking and her depression, she found AA and discovered she could have a happy life without drinking.   [11:01] Did the doctors treating your depression ask about your drinking?   Chloe said she played down her drinking.  She thought everyone did that.   Alcohol was such a crutch, and it was something she looked forward to, so it was hard to get her head around stopping.    [12:30] How did you end up at your first AA meeting?   Chloe said the more she tried to moderate, the more out of control her drinking became.  She answered yes to every question on an alcohol quiz.  She was able to relate to what people in AA said.  They were able to have a happy, functional life without alcohol.  It helped her change her thinking about drinking and her depression.   [14:49] What happened after your first AA meeting?   Chloe stopped drinking for a bit, then relapsed.  She went into a second treatment program and got sober.  She worked the steps.  She achieved a year of sobriety.  She started drinking after getting into a relationship with someone new.  He was a drinker and she wanted to share that experience.  Over the next 18 months, her drinking became progressively worse.  Her thinking was muddled.  She read Paul Churchill’s book; Alcohol is Sh*t!  She realized she didn’t need to figure out if she was powerless, yet.  She needed to get back to basics and keep trying.  Even one day of sobriety is progress.    [18:08]  Did the desire to fit in influence your relapse?    Chloe said she thought she could have fun with alcohol and stop again.  She didn’t realize how insidious it is to continue starting and stopping over and over. Sobriety is precious.  She felt crazy.   She would listen to sobriety podcasts, then drink at night.  She learned a lot of lessons through drinking.        [21:54] Did you share your sobriety with people outside of AA?   Chloe said she did share her quest for sobriety with the person she was in a relationship with.  She had to get support when she returned to sobriety.  She has great friends in AA and her family is supportive as well.   [23:02] Did sobriety help your depression?   Chloe said about six months into sobriety she noticed the feelings of joy and gratitude that she hadn’t experienced before.  The depression was gone.  Her life had meaning and a reason to go on.    [24:46] What motivated you to quit again?   Chloe said it was during lockdown and things were bad.   Lockdown accelerated her drinking.  She drank three bottles of wine a day, passed out and kept repeating it day after day.  Her last night of drinking, she drank so much, she got into a fight and got violent with her partner at the time.  She called the police, and they took him away.  The next morning, she realized she was the one with the problem and it couldn’t happen again.  The risk was no longer worth it.  She felt done and resigned. She threw everything she had at sobriety.  She went back to AA and attacked sobriety, stacked days and she is grateful it’s working.  The first few months were tough, now she doesn’t have to work so hard to stay sober.   [28:11] Do you realize how amazing it is that you pulled it together?   Chloe said her self-esteem was strengthened.  She knows she can do hard things and other things she didn’t think were possible.    [30:21] Did you start going back to meetings?   Chloe said, not immediately, but now she can attend in person meetings.  She has friends in AA, she connected to people on Instagram, listened to podcasts and joined Café RE.    [31:32] How do you manage cravings?   Chloe said she is learning not to freak out.  She doesn’t overthink the craving.  It’s normal. Cravings are just a thought.  She plays the tape forward,  exercises and reaches out to friends.   [33:55] Do you get any negative feedback from others about your sobriety?   She said, not this round.  In the last round a co-worker said he didn’t trust anyone who didn’t drink.   [34:45] Have you overcome the concern about having fun sober?   Chloe had to rethink her mindset about sobriety and looks at it as a joyful, amazing journey of growth and possibility vs. misery and deprivation.  She has more energy, more enthusiasm, more interests, more people in her life.    [37:34] Have you been able to identify triggers?   Chloe said stress and celebrations are her biggest triggers.  She recognizes that drinking is no longer a celebration.  The pause is so important.     [38:58] Rapid Fire Round   What would you say to your younger self? Keep trying no matter what.   What is your go to response when someone offers you a drink? She hasn’t faced that because of lockdown.  Her planned response is, yes please, I’ll have a sparkling water.   What has recovery made possible for you? Everything.  When she was drinking, she was doing nothing.  She is training for a marathon, starting a new career and happily single.   What is your favorite ice cream flavor? All ice cream.  She hasn’t had a bad one!   What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners who are considering ditching the booze?   Keep putting in the action, stacking the days and the result will come.   You may have to say Adios to booze if … If you are listening to podcasts about sobriety.    Odette’s Summary   We have your back.  We are your safe container.  The journey comes with different levels.  Hit the save button when you get stuck. Take a breath, ask for help.   Nothing great is ever done on our own, sobriety takes a village.  Have fun along the way and trust the process.    Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.  We can do this! Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: Bozeman 2021 (August 18-22, 2021). This is our flagship annual retreat held in the pristine forests of Big Sky Country, 10 miles south of Bozeman, Montana. During this 5-day event, you’ll discover how to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone. You can find more information about our events    Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.    Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.   The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes      “Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never know the light - I love you guys”    

Episode 326 – playing forward and playing it present -- if I drink again,  why would I want to go down that path?   Erik took his last drink on March 9, 2019.  He is from upstate New York.   This is his journey of living alcohol free (AF).   This quarter’s Recovery Elevator donation went to “The Phoenix.”  thephoenix.org   Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message.   Odette is training for a marathon.  She reached out to her fitness coach Paul from RecoveryFit1 to get some guidance on training, cross-training, etc.  She has noticed the training for the race is re-training her brain, rewriting her story and building her confidence.  Crossing the finish line of a marathon is scary for Odette.  During her childhood, she participated in the rally portion of the mini-Olympics.  She fell and as a result her team was in last place.  From then on, she told herself she was not a runner.    Odette recognizes we often get stuck in our stories because those stories are all we know.  We need to believe we can do things differently. She is using visualization techniques to overcome her old stories.   What stories are we telling ourselves about our alcohol-free journey?  Are those stories holding you back or keeping you stuck?  How can you re-write your story?   [8:53]  Odette introduces Erik   Erik took his last drink on March 9, 2019.  His journey includes ups, downs, and stability.  He grew up in upstate New York and lives in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida,  He is 42, single and living it up in the sunshine state.  Erik loves binge watching TV (COVID), meet-up.com, brunch, dinner, event planning, relaxing and baths.    [11:23] Tell us about your history with drinking?   Erik took his first drink at junior prom and found his dad’s secret stash of Manhattan’s.  He didn’t drink much until college.  He remembers the Bridge Street Run and he got completely wasted and was on camera when the local news covered the event.  His drinking progressed from there.  He moved to Los Angeles and in 2010 he got his first DUI.  He knew his drinking was a problem and he started looking at his drinking more closely.    His DUI stemmed from a party that included friends from college.  At 3 AM, he remembers driving home and avoiding someone on the side of the road.  He passed an accident and almost ran over the cops.  His recollection was foggy because he was so intoxicated.  He exited the freeway on Hollywood Blvd., was arrested and the cops took him back to the scene of the accident so he could see where he almost ran the cops over.    His friends came to pick him up and told him, ‘It’s ok, it happens to everyone’.    [17:55]  What happened after the DUI?   Eric looks at his drinking career through the lens of his DUI’s because he’s had three in ten years.  He went to AA after the first DUI.  He took one of the quizzes about problem drinking.  His gut knew he had a problem, but he ignored it and went along with his friends who said it was not a big deal.   He moved to Florida and picked up where he left off.  His 2nd DUI was in 2013.  He remembers going out, ripping his jeans from dancing and drove from West Palm Beach to Ft. Lauderdale.  He was driving 80 MPH in a 35 MPH zone.  He blew a .15 and went to court.    Five years later he got his third DUI.   [21:16] What was your drinking like between the DUI’s?   After the first DUI, it scratched the surface of concern, but he kept drinking.  Erik describes himself as a celebratory binge drinker.   He went to AA for four months without drinking and believed moderating would work for him.  He was able to moderate successfully until the shut off valve in his brain didn’t shut off.    In 2018, Erik got his third DUI.  He had a breathalyzer in his vehicle and was still positive (for alcohol) the next day.  Erik took a cab to work.  Erik never wants to be like that again.   [27:39]  What other elements of your life (at the time) could be attributed to alcohol?   Erik said from 2016-2018 he was a mess.  He was on anti-depressants and drinking and the combination and progression were not good.  Erik knew peer pressure was a big deal for him.  He learned to distance himself from people who drink.  He acknowledges his choices and recognizes he needs to say no to others in an   [30:02] Did you have a rock bottom when you had your last drink?   Erik said the weekend after his third DUI he was drinking, and he drove a friend to the airport at 5 am.  He went to AA for six months.  He chaired meetings, read the books.  His attorney helped him to stay out of jail by wearing an ankle monitor.  He was unable to get into treatment because he already had six months of sobriety.  Erik had to hack the system to get treatment.  He got really drunk to make sure he could get into treatment vs. jail.   [37:54] How was your life after treatment?   Erik described treatment being a gift.  There were some downsides, including losing his privacy.  When he left rehab, he was required to wear an ankle monitor.  He had a falling out with his sponsor.  He made a choice to drink to stay out of jail.   He became forthcoming with his therapist and social worker.  AA was a blessing for him.  He found Recovery Elevator during COVID, and he sees many similarities to AA.   Some days are hard and other days are beautiful.  Sobriety is work.  It’s a daily chore, but it’s so worth it for him.  It works if you work it and work it because you are worth it!   Erik thirsts for Recovery Elevator to become bigger.  He loves the meet ups and the chats, and it has been great for him.    [46:39] How do you relate to alcohol now?   Erik said his ankle monitor came in handy.   It helped him through several situations including a funeral, a long layover at an airport.  Erik knows he can have fun without alcohol, and he can be in public spaces without drinking.  He is learning about who he is and who he wants to be.  Time heals all wounds, and you get more comfortable with sobriety with time.   Playing it forward and playing it present helps him stay sober.      [51:01] Rapid Fire Round   What has this journey made possible for you? It has allowed me to get to know myself and look inside and see who I want to be as a human being and how I want to interact with the universe.   What is your go to response when someone offers you a drink? No, thank you.   What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Rocky Road   What is an unexpected perk of this journey? I have more patience and I’m more in the moment.  You experience sunrises and sunsets differently.  Florida is beautiful year around and he loves being in the moment.    What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners who are considering ditching the booze?   Stick with it.  Listen to your gut.  We’ve all had plenty of day 1’s.  Don’t minimize your sobriety.  Be thankful for what you have and keep coming back.   You may have to say Adios to booze if … You have to check your car for damage after a night of drinking or can’t remember where your car is.   Odette’s Summary   One of our team members, Alan Copeland is going to share about Café RE.  Check out Alan’s episode 287.  Alan has been with Café RE since January 1, 2020.  He helps onboard new members.  Café RE includes: Connection with like-minded people Podcast Over 20 online chats per week Accountability partner Facebook group In person meet-ups with sober people (have fun without drinking) Courses including Restore, Ditch the Booze Book club Movie Club Yoga Fitness class Member listing Recovery Buffet (AA, Smart Recovery, Recovery Dharma friendly – we support the menu of options for recovery) $24 monthly membership fee Cancel anytime, rejoin anytime   Alan believes RE can help you overcome loneliness.  You quickly understand there are like-minded people who are here to support you.  Lifelong friendships are built in Café RE.  We focus on the similarities.  We don’t follow a specific program we are open to multiple options for recovery. The light will always be on for you here at Café RE.    Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.  We can rewrite our stories.  Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: Bozeman 2021 (August 18-22, 2021). This is our flagship annual retreat held in the pristine forests of Big Sky Country, 10 miles south of Bozeman, Montana. During this 5-day event, you’ll discover how to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone. You can find more information about our events    Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.    Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.   The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes      “Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never know the light - I love you guys”    

Episode 324 – I guess it’s my pride.  It’s ego which is not a good thing.  It’s almost a year and I realized, OMG, it’s the best year of my life.   Bobbie took her last drink on December 16, 2019.  She is from upstate New York.    This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF).   Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message.   Odette was inspired by Brian who hosted one of the Café RE chats.  Evolution of sobriety isn’t always linear or a straight shot.  We assume it will be an upgrade.  However, sobriety can be messy.  You can feel stuck and get into victim mentality.    Odette compared sobriety to a puzzle.  Sometimes it can feel like we are going backwards.  When looking at the puzzle, we grab different pieces.  Sometimes the piece doesn’t fit, but we make a mental note and later in the journey, the puzzle piece fits.  Traveling backwards is common because the tool or lesson may have not made sense at the time, but it does later in the journey.    Everything has a purpose and it’s there for a reason. We don’t always see the bigger picture.  We need to accept that unlike a puzzle …. the journey never ends.  There is no destination, it’s about the journey.  It’s not about being (un)loveable, morality, making mistakes, it’s about discovering our wholeness.    We don’t quit quitting.  It’s about resilience.    [11:59]  Odette introduces Bobbie     Bobbie took her last drink on December 16, 2019 She lives in snowy upstate New York.  She has family in Connecticut.  She has two business that she launched in 2020.  She loves volleyball, reading, puzzles, Zumba and is learning how to adjust the fun in our new environment.    [13:54] Tell us about your history with drinking?   Bobbie started drinking at 15.  She remembers the first time she got caught for drinking.  Her biological father was an alcoholic.  She knew she shouldn’t drink because she didn’t want to be like her father.    Growing up, Bobbie spent a lot of time with people in recovery because there was a lot of addiction in her family.  She went to Al-Ateen and many AA picnics.  She believes that she developed an addiction to gambling because she was trying to avoid an addiction to drinking.  She resented having to go to these events because it wasn’t her problem.  Now her view has evolved.  She didn’t embrace anything 12-step until 2017.   [17:32]   What was your trajectory of drinking vs. gambling?   Bobbie said she was a truck driver in her early twenties.  She didn’t party when she was driving.  She drank to excess on the weekends which she felt was normal because everyone was doing it. In her thirties she drank with her husband (he was the DD).  She was gambling in the background, but her drinking was a problem.  In 2017 she went to rehab and focused on gambling first.    She went to rehab on her own accord.  She had an executive level job, but all her perceived obstacles were removed.  She owed it to herself to address her addictions.  She was getting in trouble at work events.   [21:06] How long were you at the rehab center?   Bobbie said she was in rehab for 28 days.  Rehab left quite an impression.  She was in the gambling wing.  Her freedom was removed because she couldn’t even choose when to take a shower.  It felt like a cross between summer camp and jail.  She knew she needed to focus on herself and didn’t want to ever lose her freedom again.    [23:51] How did you handle being in the gambling wing versus the drug and alcohol wing of rehab?   Bobbie said that they were not allowed to interact with people in the drug and alcohol wing.  Everything was separate.   Before entering rehab, Bobbie interviewed for a job.   She left rehab at 28 days (vs 30) and went to after care.  She was called out frequently for drinking.  The aftercare team didn’t hold back.  In 2019 Bobbie decided not to use alcohol as a coping mechanism.  She discovered Café RE in 2018 and knew she needed to focus on her drinking.    Bobbie was frustrated that alcohol was a problem when she was doing all the work for her gambling addiction.  She broke up with a guy and was drunk texting her ex and recognized her texts were mean and venomous.  Having another personality was a rock-bottom moment.   Bobbie signed up for the Recovery Elevator Asia trip.  She knew she needed to be sober for 30 days and joined the trip with a little over 30 days of sobriety.  She was following the rules versus deciding not to drink.  When she returned from Asia, she learned that her biological father and grandmother had passed away within a week of each other.  She hosted her father’s funeral the day before the world shut down because of COVID.  She was at a bar when she got a text about her father’s death.  She knew she had to decide how to cope with overwhelming emotions.  She was afraid to drink because she was concerned, she wouldn’t stop.    A friend she met on the Asia trip inspired her to achieve a year of sobriety.  She realized it was the best year of her life because she started a podcast, opened a second company and was so much more productive without drinking.    Bobbie recognizes her journey is different than many others in Café RE because she wasn’t as intentional about not drinking as many others, it happened almost as a side-effect of her gambling addiction.    [35:47] What made you decide to take the Café RE trip?   Bobbie said she knew she needed the trip to quit drinking.  A friend helped her pay for the trip.  When she left rehab, she didn’t make the decision to quit drinking.  The sober trip helped her explore her curiosity about sobriety and laid the foundation for the tools she needed to explore sobriety.   Bobbie said she was mesmerized by the RE community and by Paul Churchill.  Paul inspired her to start her gambling podcast and was her first guest.    [41:55] What do you do now when you have a craving or a trigger?   Bobbie said everything has happened for a reason.  She believes she can overcome anything.  In a few situations (golf, road trips, etc.) she has urges, but now she has a conversation with herself that people can love and accept her without alcohol.  She focuses on what she has learned along the way.  She doesn’t want to return to a destructive life.  She hasn’t committed to quit drinking forever.  She is focused on her goals and sees alcohol as an obstacle to her achieving those goals.  She has gratitude for her drinking career because it withheld some of her opportunities in corporate America.  She is now helping others with addiction.  She feels like she won.   [45:52] What other tools are helpful for you?   Bobbie is active in Gambling Anonymous (GA).  She meditates and does a daily reflection every day.  She likes Recovery Dharma through Café RE.  She has integrated self-care into her everyday life.    Bobbie wasn’t sure what she was supposed to feel and began to understand that resentment over her father helped her move from resentment to neutral and she is working on forgiveness.    The value of community and accountability have been helpful.   Her obligation and accountability to others has helped her push through difficult moments.  She tries to practice what she preaches in her podcast.    [51:02] Rapid Fire Round   What would you say to your younger self? It’s all going to be fine. It all has purpose and will take you where you are meant to be.   What has recovery made possible for you? Everything – from relationships, work, business, transparency, vulnerability – everything.      What is your favorite ice cream flavor? All of them.    What advice would you give to listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze? It’s so worth it.  It may not feel like it in the moment, but stick with it, it’s so worth it.    You may have to say Adios to booze if … Your friends are surprised there is coffee in your cup instead of Long Island iced tea.    Odette’s Summary   Odette challenges us to think about one of the puzzle pieces in your sobriety journey that didn’t make sense recently that now makes sense.  Share what you have learned with a friend.    You are not alone, together is always better!  Odette believes in you!   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: Bozeman 2021 (August 18-22, 2021). This is our flagship annual retreat held in the pristine forests of Big Sky Country, 10 miles south of Bozeman, Montana. During this 5-day event, you’ll discover how to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone. You can find more information about our events    Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.    Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.   The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes      “Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never know the light - I love you guys”    

Episode 323 – I have to say I feel less isolated in a pandemic than I ever did drinking.  It has been so good to go through a pandemic sober.   Lauren took her last drink on December 19, 2018.  She lives in Canada and is 37 years old.    This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF).   Shout out to Jeni’s ice cream who is one of the sponsors of our Bozeman retreat.   https://jenis.com/   Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message.   Odette reflected on a March NPR article titled, “A sharp, off the charts’ rise in alcoholic liver disease among young women.   https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2021/03/16/973684753/sharp-off-the-charts-rise-in-alcoholic-liver-disease-among-young-women   It’s important this article is placed in a bucked about the global crisis, the COVID-19 pandemic.   The article referenced a 30-year-old woman who was diagnosed with alcoholic hepatitis.  She drank nearly a liter of liquor every evening.  Doctors are seeing patients whose drinking has edged up in the last year.  In conversations, physicians recognize it’s astronomical and life threatening.  The survival rate for alcoholic hepatitis and cirrhosis varies but can be as low as ten percent.  The CDC has not compiled additional statistics since the pandemic began, however physicians are aware of the upswing as they see more hospitalizations and fatalities.  While men have consistently driven the statistics, young women are driving the numbers up.    Many are crossing the bridge from normal drinking to problematic drinking.  What are the signs?  The rock bottom aha moments?   Sobriety isn’t easy, but Odette is no longer living a double life.  Odette wants to do more to help those who are struggling with alcohol addiction.    [8:27]  Odette introduces Lauren     Lauren took her last drink on December 19, 2018 (sobriety date 12/20/2018).  She has been sober for 750 days (as of this recording).  She has several friends she has met through 12-step programs that are going through the same things.   Lauren is from Ontario, Canada and is 37 years old.  She lives with her partner and they co-parent his children.  They have a cat and are adopting a dog.  Lauren is a housing work and helps homeless people in her community which is even more challenging due to COVID.  Lauren enjoys running, hiking, reading, art, painting, and travel.  Her reading comprehension has improved with sobriety.   [14:19] Tell us about your history with drinking?   Lauren had a normal childhood and started drinking in high school.  She remembers in her last year of high school a friend saying he had never seen her sober outside of school.  At the end of University, she knew she had a problem, because she was happier staying at home and drinking the way she wanted to in her room.  After school, she moved to a big city and leveraged alcohol as a social lubricant.   [16:04]   Did you attempt to change aspects of your relationship with alcohol?   Lauren knew her drinking was a problem, but thought she was too young to deal with it.  She was regularly drunk, hung over and had no money.  She did reach out and went to three rebabs, several detoxes and the psych ward.   [17:07] What wasn’t working during those multiple attempts to quit?   When it finally clicked, Lauren realized she had used alcohol to manage her emotions.    On December 19, 2018, Lauren said she stopped digging.  She called in sick to work for the third day in a row at work.  She realized she had three options:  1). Keep going knowing things wouldn’t get better; 2) End it all (Lauren had multiple suicide attempts);  3) Stop drinking and give sobriety and honest chance.  Once she made that decision, she stopped.  It took her six years of trying before it finally clicked.  She says, ‘don’t give up.’  She is learning what she is capable of with sobriety.  The first month was difficult due to the wreckage of her past, but she now sees it is worth it.   [23:06] What worked for you that first month?   Lauren said acceptance – it was a miracle.  Deep acceptance that she can’t drink and letting go of the resentment about not being a ‘normal drinker’ helped.    [24:16] How did you reconcile that feeling?   Lauren said for six years the feelings of anger and resentment was insurmountable which is why she kept relapsing.  She felt her life was hard and if she couldn’t drink in public, she’s just drink in private.  She likened her relationship to alcohol with a severe peanut allergy.  She will die if she drinks.   [26:12] What support did you have in the early stages?   Lauren said she has been in 12-step recovery on and off.  She goes to meetings regularly and has a home group.  Her employer is very supportive as well.  Her family has also been great.   [27:28] How was telling your employer?  Many people don’t because of the stigma.   Lauren said it came up as part of a performance review.  She was asked about her future goals and she opened up about her struggle with addiction and her desire to help others with addiction.  Her supervisors were surprised, but incredibly supportive.  Sobriety became “part of her”.   [29:22]  When did you reconcile the acceptance with shame?   Lauren said after the first few shaky months, she realized recovery was a superpower and part of who she is.  It is very motivating.  She carries shame from the past, including drinking dreams and regret about past behavior.  She knows it will take a long time to let go of that shame.    Value Bomb – you get a chance to repair and live differently or live an amends through this journey.  Repair is underestimated, let the guilt propel you to become the person you want to be.    Lauren’s family has some residual memory and trauma because of prior behavior.  She is giving them space and  trying to live her life as a living amends.    Her family is incredibly proud as is her partner.    Processing some of her drinking behavior with family and friends is difficult to hear and hard to process.  She put her family, friends, and therapist through some scary times.  All she can do now is be sober.  She is hopeful that others can overcome the fear that when she calls, it isn’t a crisis or  bad news.   Odette acknowledged that it could take families time to adjust to us changing and we need to realize they have a timeline to ad as well.    [37:19] Do you still get cravings?   Lauren said, no.  During her first attempts they were horrible.  She rarely has cravings now and when she does, they are mild.  The more time she gets away from alcohol, the more in tune she is with her body.  She is better prepared to identify her needs and the most common need is sleep.   [39:15]  Tell me about the differences between Year 1 and Year 2.   Lauren said year one was about making it to the first year; she was amazed every day.  The second year was her “what now” time.  She is working to make her life the best it can be including things she put on the back burner, doing things that are good for her mind and body.  She is also reaching out to women who are early in their recovery.  It reminds her of how difficult it is when you are starting, and she doesn’t want to go back there.   Through her recovery network, Lauren realizes that the mind is powerful and switching back to old behavior won’t make anything better.  She must remain committed to her recovery, so her mind doesn’t let her forget.   [43:43] Have you noticed that FOMO (fear or missing out) has dissipated over time?   Lauren said, 100%.  She believes the FOMO kept her drinking.  Now that she accepts that she can’t drink, she has less FOMO and participates in life more.  She doesn’t miss family events because she is drinking alone or hung over.    [45:01] How have you maintained connections with your recovery community during the pandemic?   Lauren said her 12-step community has zoom meetings which is not ideal, but she can stay connected to her people via Zoom.  She attends Café RE chats as well and even when she isn’t sharing, she feels connected.   She feels less isolated during a pandemic than she does when drinking.   Lauren’s partner reminded her that her relapses and attempts at sobriety.   were “just more information.”   [48:45] Rapid Fire Round   What is a lightbulb moment for you during this journey? Acceptance that I can’t ever drink.   What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Rum and raising   What has recovery made possible for you? Everything, every one of the promises in the Big Book have come true.   What advice would you give to listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze? Don’t give up and keep trying even though you think that it isn’t working and that it will never click.  It will click!   You may have to ditch the booze if … You buy a magnum bottle of wine and drink it an hour after you have left your third rehab center.    Odette’s Summary   Odette challenges us to think of a positive affirmation about you that you can say about you to you.  Practice saying it once a day.  Affirmations help Odette get her though when she is in a fear-based place.      You are not alone, together is always better!  Odette is grateful for you!   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: Bozeman 2021 (August 18-22, 2021). This is our flagship annual retreat held in the pristine forests of Big Sky Country, 10 miles south of Bozeman, Montana. During this 5-day event, you’ll discover how to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone. You can find more information about our events    Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.    Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.   The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes      “Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never know the light - I love you guys”    

Episode 321 – Be kind to yourself. It’s ok to give yourself as much love as you are giving to someone in active addiction.  Give yourself love and grace. It’s ok not to be ok. It’s ok not to have all the answers.   Today’s podcast will be a slight departure from our traditional format.  Today we will hear from Aimee, who is the wife of one of our members.  Aimee will share from the perspective of what it’s like to live with someone struggling with alcohol addiction.   Aimee is the wife of Kris, one of the members of Café RE.   Kris shared his message on episodes 175 and 278.   He also does a lot of work for Café RE. Take a listen.  Kris stands out by helping others and being of service.    https://www.recoveryelevator.com/re-175-anxiety-and-alcohol/ https://www.recoveryelevator.com/re-278-day-one-emotions/   Registration for the Bozeman retreat is open for Café RE members today and will be available for non-members tomorrow.  For details, go to: www.recoveryelevator.com/bozeman .   Odette’s Weekly Message – Finding your better you.   Odette is focusing on loved ones.  She is an adult child of an alcoholic.  She has experienced her own struggles with addiction and married someone who struggles with addiction.   When Odette’s Dad went into treatment, she was advised by the counselor that the whole family would be impacted.  While only one family member has the disease, everyone gets infected at some level.   Being a part of the solution for her Dad was a tough spill to swallow.  Odette attended Al-Anon to learn how to take care of herself while her Dad was treating his addiction.  Odette remembers how scary some of the meetings were because of the number of broken relationships.  Her inclination was to try to fix the problem, but she quickly learned she had to get out of the way and learn to take care of herself.  She is still learning to detach with love by setting boundaries.   [10:33]  Odette introduces Aimee.   Aimee is 37 and lives in North Dakota with Kris and their two kids.  She is a teacher, loves playing piano, singing, and leading worship at her church.      [13:45]  Tell us about your journey and how you experienced life with Kris.   Aimee met Kris her freshman year of college and fell in love right away.  She was so enthralled with him; everything seemed normal. Kris was deployed overseas in the military.  He would call Aimee and was always drinking when he called home to deal with the stress of deployment.  Aimee knew there was a problem.  They got married, and when Kris came back from deployment,  Aimee got pregnant right away.  Kris was deployed again, and Aimee didn’t drink because she was pregnant.  Kris came home ten days before Ava was born, and they were two different people because of the time apart. Kris’s drinking continued to escalate.    They went through ups and downs, and Aimee thought things were getting better.   Their marriage has been a wild adventure because of moves, career changes, etc.  Aimee had a mix of resentment and shame about Kris’ drinking.  At the height of his drinking, he would turn things around on her to avoid being attacked.  As a couple, they tore each other apart.  Aimee tried to protect Kris.  She would set the alarm so she could pick up the beer cans before the kids got up in the morning.  She lied to her pastor about Kris’ absences and recognized she was compromising her values.   Kris’ emotions were intense and amplified when he was hungover.   [10:15]  Did you start second-guessing yourself?   Aimee said she was constantly questioning if she was enough.  She took her marriage vows very seriously and started to become a doormat.  There was a lot of manipulation.  Kris would gaslight Aimee about his drinking, the bank account, and other things.  Engaging in church and prayer was instrumental for Aimee.  She began to realize that being a martyr or savior wasn’t a safe place to be.  She couldn’t compromise her safety.  They went on a road trip, and Kris drove drunk for five hours, and Aimee was overwhelmed and exhausted.  Prayer helped her resolve that she couldn’t live that way anymore.   [22:57]  What did you do when you realized you couldn’t do it anymore?   Aimee said after the road trip, the conversation between them shifted.  She begged Kris to get help.  He asked her who her lawyer was and said he would never love her enough to quit drinking.  It took Aimee a long time to start to forgive him.  She didn’t believe him anymore, and it took a long time to rebuild trust.    [24:13]  Was church a source of support for you?   Aimee said she couldn’t do it on her own.  Her church community never told her what she wanted to hear; they told her what she needed to hear.  The church encouraged her to focus on herself and her next steps.  It was the first time Aimee looked inside and didn’t focus on Kris.    [26:44]  How did you shift from feeling like a victim to looking within?   Aimee said the church worked with both of them separately and helped keep them on the same page.  Aimee prayed and meditated a lot.  Kris surrendered.  They both surrendered at different times.  Aimee had to let go of the bitterness.  She said she was drinking poison and expecting Kris to get sick.  She told Kris she loved him and didn’t know what to do.  It was a shift and became a point of empowerment for her to trust others and do work on herself.  They went to marriage counseling, and Aimee went to counseling on her own.  Aimee did EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) to deal with trauma from her marriage and her past.  Aimee has done a lot of work learning how to build relationships, and the experience has been life-changing.   Aimee still has some flashbacks, particularly on road trips.  All of their positive interactions slowly replace the negative ones of the past.  While it may be a cliché, time does heal   [33:02]  Tell me about the dynamics at home?  How have the kids responded?   Aimee said they have been very open about their story with the kids.  Dinner time is their favorite time now, and it was the worst when Kris was drinking.  Their son wrote a book about the adventures of his sober Dad.  He even quoted Paul Churchill’s book, “Alcohol is Shit!”.  Their son looks forward to hugging his wife now that Kris is demonstrating new behaviors with the family.    Aimee shared that she and Kris have learned emotional and spiritual intimacy as well as physical intimacy.  Their conversations are more vulnerable than the physical connection.  It has been a lot of hard work, but so worth the effort.   [38:27]  How is your experience with Kris in Café RE and other people in sobriety?   Aimee said Kris joined Café Re when they were separated.  She said it was hard at first because Kris was being celebrated for all of his sobriety milestones.  She was envious of his coins – where was her medal?  Aimee has been to a Café RE meet up in Minneapolis, and she prays for all of the people she met.  She supports Kris’s model of “leave nobody behind”.  She doesn’t mind the interruptions, and she supports his efforts with prayer.  Aimee loves how Café RE retreats benefit Kris’ recovery.  She always notices a positive difference when she comes home, and she knows that helps their family.    Café RE feels Aimee’s support through the videos she posts when Kris reaches a milestone.  Aimee said five years ago, she never would have believed they would be where they are today.  She is excited and believes the best is yet to come.   [43:14]  Do you drink?  Are you a normie?   Aimee hasn’t had a drink in 7-8 years, and she doesn’t miss it at all.  She likes tea and doesn’t favor the LaCroix as Kris, and the rest of us do.   [44:06] How were you able to separate that it was not about you?   Aimee said, when she figures it out, she will let us know.  Recovery is like peeling back the layers of an onion.  She encourages all spouses to be kind to themselves. It’s ok not to be ok. It’s ok not to have all of the answers. Lean in on your Faith, regardless of what you call your Higher Power.  You will need it to move through recovery as well.    Odette’s Summary   Odette encourages all family members to check out recommended Al-Anon, Melody Beattie, Smart Recovery for Friends and Family, Pia Melody, and traditional therapy.   Resource Links: https://al-anon.org/ https://www.smartrecovery.org/family/ https://melodybeattie.com/ http://www.piamellody.com/   By helping yourself, you are better at supporting your loved one.   You are not alone, together is always better!   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: Bozeman 2021 (August 18-22, 2021). This is our flagship annual retreat held in the pristine forests of Big Sky Country, 10 miles south of Bozeman, Montana. During this 5-day event, you’ll discover how to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone. You can find more information about our events    Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.    Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.   The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes      “Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never know the light - I love you guys”          

Episode 320 -  Keep an open mind and see what happens. Reach out to people, make sober friends, and you are going to find your way.  Just let go.   Cassie took her last drink on August 29, 2019. She is from Colorado and is 30 years old.  This is her story of being Alcohol-Free (AF).   Café RE Merch https://www.recoveryelevator.com/merch/ Discount code:  PANDA   Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message   Odette has been speaking with many people who got sober and stayed sober during the pandemic.  She is amazed and impressed with these folks making major life choices to ditch the booze during a global crisis.   Odette wants to remind you …. you can do hard things.   As Covid begins to recede, Odette can't help but wonder what post-Covid sobriety will look like?  As we return to normal or the new normal, how do we prepare for what's next?  Odette likened this to her rehab experience and working with her rehab team to develop a treatment plan when she left rehab.  Many people fear leaving rehab because you are going back into the real world without the safety of a controlled, safe space.     What does your treatment plan or sobriety toolbox look like for the "new normal" after COVID restrictions have subsided?  What boundaries and guidelines do you need to set up for yourself?   Proper preparation prevents poor performance – thank you, Odette's Dad, Carlos.   Develop a plan to protect your sobriety.   [07:53] Odette introduces Cassie   Cassie's last drink was August 29, 2019.  She is celebrating18 months and switching up some of her tools to maintain sobriety.  Cassie leads Café RE's "young people" chat.   Odette was recently contacted by a 19-year-old trying to find his place in sobriety.  Cassie said it's incredible for someone so young to start a recovery journey.  She encouraged all young listeners to keep an open mind, reach out, find sober friends, let go, and you will find your people and your way!   [11:12] Tell us a bit of your background.   Cassie is 29 years old, living in Denver, and is a receptionist for a urology clinic while pursuing her Bachelor's in nursing.  She is doing pre-requisites now.  She lives with her boyfriend, recently bought a house, and has two dogs.  She loves snowboarding during the winter, paddle boarding, hiking, and rock climbing during the summer and hopes to explore dirt biking soon.   [13:14] Tell us about your history with drinking.   Cassie had her first drink at thirteen.  One of her first memories is stealing peppermint schnapps with a neighbor at her parent's house.  She got alcohol poisoning, and her mom sent her to middle school the following day with a hangover.  She had to clean up her mess after school.   By freshman year of high school, she continued to drink with friends and consumed on the school bus on the way to school. She was suspended for drinking.      Before eighteen, she was in legal trouble for drinking and quickly building a party girl's reputation.  She was all-in with alcohol; she never drank one or two drinks.  She drank to fit in and did not fit in with the nerds or the popular crowd.  She would hang out with the skaters, smoke pot, and throw parties at friend's parents' houses when they were out of town.   She got into the music scene, particularly raves, and traveled across the US to music festivals to catch different artists.  She doesn't remember many of the concerts because she was wasted.   [16:28] Were you aware that your drinking was becoming a problem?   Cassie said she was not self-aware.  She knew she was a troublemaker, but her friends drank like she did.  During her formative years, she didn't go to class much.  She dropped out of college because partying was her priority.   [17:58] How long did that chapter last?   Cassie said awhile, probably ten years.  She still enjoys music but can now enjoy music sober.   [18: 33 ]  Did you have to transition into adulting?   Cassie was always working during that chapter, and she changed jobs a lot because of the seasons.  She started working in the medical field in 2015, and she relaxed her drinking a bit.   [19:48] Did anything happen in your life that forced you to grow up a bit?   Cassie said getting into the medical field was a real transition.  She had to deal with patients and knew she had to be responsible.  She was living with friends and wanted to take care of herself and maintain independence.   [21:14]   How did your relationship with alcohol evolve?   Cassie said during the music festival chapter she was binge drinking because there were no rules.  She transitioned from being a binge drinker to having beers after work and being a weekend warrior.  Her drinking eventually got out of hand.  She was only drinking on the weekends, and she tried to moderate.  She leveraged the gym to keep her AF during the week.  Moderation didn't work for Cassie.   One of her roommates, a dear friend, passed away in a kayaking accident.  She believes it may have been alcohol-related.  It became a big turning point for Cassie.  Her other roommates drank heavily to cope with the shock and grief.  Cassie became a pillar of strength for them.  She binged occasionally but started to see that drinking wasn't what she wanted for herself.  She moved back home, and her parents were also heavy drinkers. Her drinking escalated, and within a year, things completely fell apart.  Cassie lost herself.  Going to brunch to drink in the morning or pre-gaming a baby shower with alcohol felt normal.  She started sneaking beers in her room, so if she woke up in the middle of the night, she would have alcohol close at hand.  Cassie is still working through feelings and learning to stop blocking her emotions.    [29:44]  How did this progress into you deciding to quit?   Cassie said she wasn't working at the beginning of 2019.  She was drinking beer in her bedroom, taking tequila shots and not eating regularly, taking showers, or going to work.  She lost her will to live.   One day her Dad came into her room and asked, "what do we need to do?" Cassie was afraid of the withdrawal.  She went to the ER, then to medical detox for a day.  She stayed home for three days, got rid of most of her belongings, and moved to Phoenix to live with her mom.  She had some starts and stops in Phoenix. Then her mom moved to Texas.  Cassie moved back to Colorado and told herself, "I've got this." Her drinking advanced rapidly.  She had a four-day bender and told her step-mom she needed to go through detox again.  She did, and she hasn't had a drink since!  Cassie said the second time, she knew it was time to own up to it and take some action.  She didn't want to die.   [35:48] What was your plan after leaving detox to start stacking days?   Cassie moved in with her sister's Dad.  She wanted to move to a sober environment.  Her Dad and step-mom continued to drink, and she didn't want to ask them to stop.  Her step-mom referred her to Recovery Elevator and offered to pay for her first month if she wanted to check it out.  The Facebook group helped her stay accountable, and she went to her first sober meetup within 30 days.  Making connections helped a lot.  She also saw a therapist for the first six months.  She began getting more involved in  Café RE.  At about a year, she started hosting webinars.   Now she is doing a lot in the recovery community because it keeps her focused on her sobriety.  At six to eight months, she felt a shift.  After a year, she had experienced several FFT's (F*ing first times) – first concert, first wedding, etc.  Now she is exploring past traumas and learning what caused her drinking.  She is going to AA meetings, looking for a sponsor and reading, "Recovery" by Russell Brand.  She enjoys the structure of AA.  Cassie has big plans for the future and hopes to eliminate the stigma of addiction and let people her age know that sobriety is fun!  She is excited about the future.  She wants to build a family, re-write her family's sobriety trajectory, and inspire others along the way.   [46:16]  Do you still get cravings?   Cassie said yes, but the cravings are seasonal depending on what's happening in her life.  Cravings are more of a fleeting thought now, and her sober circle helps her stay accountable.  She is aware that cravings often come with change and external factors.  If she lightens up on the self-care, the cravings creep up.  She knows what tools work and can anticipate what's coming and how to manage it.   [50:11]  Rapid Fire Round   What would you tell your younger self?   You are worth it.  Have faith, and everything will work out the way it is supposed to.   What is your favorite ice cream flavor?   It's currently Snicker's ice cream bars.   What has been a lightbulb moment for you on this journey?   The more you connect, the less you think about alcohol.   What is an unexpected perk of being sober?   Being able to do what I want at any time of day because I don't have to worry about drinking.   Are sober concerts better?   100% yes! It's one of the best experiences.   You might need to say Adios to booze if …   You wear a hoodie to sneak alcohol anywhere, including your room.   Odette's Summary   Make time this week to create your post-Covid plan.  Plant a seed, create steps of action to set yourself up for success.  Write it down, share it with a friend, have your own back.   You are not alone, together is always better.  Sobriety is our super-power!   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: Bozeman 2021 (August 18-22, 2021). This is our flagship annual retreat held in the pristine forests of Big Sky Country, 10 miles south of Bozeman, Montana. During this 5-day event, you'll discover how to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone. You can find more information about our events    Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.    Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.   The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes      "Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never know the light - I love you guys"  

Episode 316 – When I get an urge or a craving, I'll be better next time this creeps up.   Paul took his last drink on February 29, 2020.  He is from Long Island and is 30 years old.  This is his story of living alcohol-free (AF).   Today's sponsor is Firebrew.  They are also sponsoring our Bozeman retreat.    https://www.mindyourmanna.co/  Discount Code:  RE10off   Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message   What is the difference between being sober and being in recovery?  The definition of sobriety is the condition of not having any measurable levels or effects from alcohol or other drugs.  Sobriety is also considered to be the natural state of a human being at birth.    Recovery signifies you know you have a problem and are trying to fix it.  It doesn't mean you resolve your issues right away.  You recognize something is wrong, which is a critical part of getting help.    https://7summitpathways.com/blog/what-does-it-mean-in-recovery/#:~:text=What%20Being%20in%20Recovery%20Means,synonymous%20with%20%E2%80%9Cin%20remission.%E2%80%9D   When you are in recovery, you feel a kinship to others in recovery, make decisions based on how they will impact your recovery, adjust friendships and relationships based on how they affect recovery, and never let down your guard.    Can you be sober and not in recovery?  Yes, abstaining is the first part.   A recovery mindset allows you to grow and develop your self-awareness.  It helps you question your relationships and boundaries.  Recovery is for everyone. You don't have to be an "alcoholic." Recovery is about being open to change and adjustments in your life – asking for help.   Many of us abstain for some time before we are ready for recovery.  The recovery mindset allows for growth, new connections, and community.   Are you ready to step into the arena of recovery?  We are here and ready for you.   [7:43]  Odette introduces Paul   Paul took his last drink on February 29, 2020.  He is from Long Island, NY, and lives in Brooklyn.  He is a Physical Education teacher and a personal trainer.  He trains for fun, is getting into karate, and likes getting out into nature, which isn't easy in Brooklyn.   Paul opened his training business during COVID. He leveraged COVID as an opportunity to pivot the world of fitness and adapt to the new normal.   Paul started drinking toward the end of high school.  Cannabis was his first substance, not alcohol.  When he went to college, his drinking dialed up.  In his mid 20's cannabis wasn't helping anymore, so his drinking escalated and became a problem.   As Paul reflects, his Dad overdosed when he was twelve, and his mother now has twelve years of sobriety.  Childhood issues contributed to his desire to numb out. His substance abuse was a symptom of early childhood trauma.    [12:23] How was your childhood?  Were you trying to cope or escape from tragedy?   Paul said he is an extrovert.  He is open about his childhood experiences. It helps him to open up.  When Paul's mom re-married and had a baby, postpartum depression kicked in, and she shut out the world by drinking.  Paul said he was naïve and tried to take the bottle away from his mom.  He frequently cared for his brother.  His stepdad lost his temper with his mom's drinking, leading to his stepdad's arrest.  Ultimately, his mom checked into treatment and now has 12 years of sobriety.  Paul leveraged boxing as a way to escape and found solace in fitness.   [16:33] Did you notice that you developed a care-taking aspect of your personality?   Yes, Paul is a caretaker, particularly with the fitness routine and teaching elementary school. He goes out of his way to help people.   [18:12]  Our families can recover together.  Do you think about changing the trajectory of your ancestry?   Paul said a driving factor for him was seeing the lows his mom experienced when drinking, and he knew he didn't want that for himself or his kids.   Paul sees two sides to the coin.  Life is not easy. Addiction is not a surprise; it can harden you.  You have to find the why and the bigger picture to overcome addiction.   His last drink was the first confirmed case of COVID in NYC   [21:02]  Tell me about the progression of fitness and drinking in your life.   Paul went back a bit and said he experimented with other drugs in college, and they began to play a role in his life.  His mom always reminded him that addiction ran in the family.  When Paul did a semester abroad in England, his substance abuse became a problem.  He played rugby, but his drinking took over.  When he returned to the US, he started bartending, drinking, and doing cocaine.  Within six months, he lost his best friend to an overdose, then his Uncle to a drunk driver.  He didn't realize he was drinking through his grief.  He wasn't responsible.  He lost his bartending job and ran out of money.  He had to move back home.  After a fight with his mom, he went out drinking, got a DWI, and was locked up for 24 hours, which was a rock bottom for him.    He turned things around and started applying to graduate programs and was accepted by a non-profit organization that paid for his Master's in Physical Education.  He moved into New York City.   [27:06]  Were you drinking all this time?   Paul said he does well with a full plate.  He was still drinking, but not nearly as much.  He took a month off after his DWI.  He had three jobs and was in a Master's program.  He was too busy for drinking to be an issue.  When he graduated from his Master's program, he decided to give personal training a shot.  He got a hernia and lost business because he couldn't train clients.  He started drinking a lot.  In 2017, he walked out of work on New Year's Eve, lost his phone, wallet, and had to call his mom to pick him up – another rock bottom moment.  He subsequently completed a teaching certification program and started teaching PE.   [29:58]  Did you think by adding responsibilities, you could avoid the rock bottom moments?   Paul said he has always been resilient – he bounces back quickly.  He made changes immediately.    [30:36] What did your mom say when she picked you up?   Paul believes his mom knew he wasn't ready yet.  She didn't press him about recovery; she was quiet but told him he needed to figure it out.  Then he met his girlfriend.  He had three bad experiences in a row, which led him to quit drinking.  He went to a few AA meetings, started reading quit lit, and within a month, he went into Smart Recovery, and eight months later, he is on this podcast.    Looking at his drinking patterns objectively made it easier for him to decide to quit.  Quitting during COVID was odd, but he is mindful of getting through cravings.   [38:41]  How did you establish a routine during shut down?   Paul said he trained to fight.  He bought a punching bag, kettlebells and he has a very structured routine including mediation, yoga, infrared sauna, cold showers, and daily routine builds his confidence.    [40:10]  Did your performance improve when you quit drinking?   Paul realized he was leaving a lot on the table.  He ran an ultra-marathon in the summer and is aiming toward a 500-pound deadlift in Q1 2021.  He continues to study physiology and has learned a lot about what alcohol does to your entire body, from sleep deprivation, poor recovery, and stress.  He knows that drinking kept him from realizing his potential as a boxer.   Paul said fitness is his thing.  He doesn't romanticize drinking like artists, writers, or musicians.  Drinking hinders fitness performance.    [44:48]  Do you work with people in recovery as well?   Paul works with all types of clients and is starting to incorporate individuals in recovery and expand that outreach.  He trains people he wants to help and loves working with kids.   [48:10]  What do you do when you get a craving?   Paul said he tries to turn it on its head and thinks of it like building a new muscle.  Café RE helps him a lot.  Family parties stressed him out because he was focused on not drinking.  He attends several Café RE meetings a week to surround himself with like-minded people and create accountability.  Quitting drinking isn't easy, but it's simple – just don't have a drink.   [51:52]  Rapid Fire Round   What would you say to your younger self? You're going to be good.  Take what life throws at you and keep moving forward   What has recovery made possible for you? Finding more joy and discovering what joy is for me.   What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate chip cookie dough   What are you excited about right now? My business.  Fitness will train differently post COVID, and he is excited about what's to come.   What parting piece of guidance would you give to people who are considering ditching the booze? Try to picture a  life without alcohol before you submit to it.  Incremental improvement goes a long way.   You might want to say Adios to booze if ….   If you have to drink a six-pack before a bartending shift or if you lose your car.   Learn more about Paul on Instagram: recoveryfit1   Odette's Summary Recovery is an opportunity when you reframe and shift your mindset.  The way we label things has a direct impact on our experience.  Let this journey back home be full of fun, mysteries, and new discoveries.  Your life is waiting.  Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.          Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: Bozeman 2021 (August 18-22, 2021) This is our flagship annual retreat held in the pristine forests of Big Sky Country, 10 miles south of Bozeman, Montana. During this 5-day event, you'll discover how to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone. You can find more information about our events    Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.    Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.   The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes      "Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never know the light - I love you guys"

It's an anxious time for young people who have missed out on so much due to the Coronavirus. From disruption in education to economic turmoil, the former BBC broadcaster & farmer Karen Patterson explores if the Pandemic has produced any positives for young people wanting to study or work in agri-food in Northern Ireland? As families approach exam results time, Join Karen and guests to find out.Who are Karen's guests:Education Adviser for CAFRE Liz SimpsonPart-time beef farmer and Head of Biology at Belfast Royal Academy, Dr Andrew Bell Sixth former and ABP Angus Youth Challenge Outstanding Individual, Lorcan Convery Loughry graduate and now full-time ABP employee Sarah Jane HoustonIf you are a parent or a teacher of a teenager, or a student who has some important choices to make about what to do next, then this podcast is for you.

In Episode 1 ‘Farmer Safety: A Survivor's Perspective' the former BBC broadcaster & farmer Karen Patterson explores the physical and emotional consequences of farm accidents in a frank conversation in the run-up to National Farm Safety Week.Who are Karen's guests:Survivors of serious accidents, Ann Doherty from Co. Kilkenny and William Sayers from Co. TyroneThe lead paramedic from the Northern Ireland Air Ambulance whose task it is to attend these tragic scenes Chairman of the Farm Safety Partnership, and beef farmer Harry Sinclair. Join Karen and guests as they discuss their experiences of what is acknowledged to be a dangerous occupation in the hope that others can avoid harm. ABP is a proud affiliate member of the Farm Safety Partnership. Visit http://www.abpfoodgroup.com