Try This At Home

In this episode of Try This at Home, Leslie and Leslyn investigate the concept of time budgeting. Before you can manage your time effectively, one must know precisely where the hours they do have - are going. In their easy conversational style, they share thoughts about thinking of time as money and using it wisely. As an expert in the field of time management, Leslie offers some considerations based on research and they discuss some of the challenges with the way that people tend to think about time.The discussion then moves to considering priorities as many of us tend to make the time for those things that we value. When we examine how the hours of our day are being utilized, the key is in being honest about what we do with our time. They identify some of the fallacies we all face and offer solutions.The listeners are directed to work with a time-budget sheet for a period of 24 hours in an effort to discover areas of improvement. There is a worksheet available for download on the website trythisathome.com under Episode 2 - Time Budgeting so that you can Try This at Home.For more information on Leslie and Leslyn as well and more great ideas you can try at home, visit the website at TryThisAtHome.com and follow them on Twitter @trythisathome.

Leslie Sleesman is the founder and mastermind behind Limelife Planners, Inc., a company that designs and produces planners that organize your daily life. She is the mom of two boys and a girl as well as the proud wife of a university professor. Leslie considers herself a Christian woman who strives to balance the responsibilities of entrepreneurship and motherhood alongside being a loving partner and faith community member who never manages to do ALL of it, ALL the time but gets most of it done, most of the time.She shares the story of meeting Leslyn for the first time and years later, serendipitously discovering that they shared a common friend who ultimately introduced them again; allowing for some great collaboration using their complementary expertise.Leslyn Kantner is a mental health professional in private practice and the founder and curator of The Elevate Class. There, she is the lead coach for people who are seeking personal coaching for their personal growth journeys. She is also the author of the blog ThisIsLeslyn.com where she offers tips, inspiration, and encouragement for living your best life.For more information on Leslie and Leslyn as well and more great ideas you can try at home, visit the website at TryThisAtHome.com and follow them on Twitter @trythisathome.

In this first episode of Try This At Home, Leslie and Leslyn start the conversation by discussing the thoughts we think. They identify a few statistics that demonstrate the monstrosity of the topic but zero in on a few elements such as fearful and negative thoughts; mentioning some of the ideas presented by Rick Hanson in his book Hardwiring Happiness.They also discuss the fascinating story of Martin Pistorius who developed Cryptococcal meningitis and lost his ability to move or talk. Martin’s experience forced him to find a way of coping with his thoughts which, is part of his story in the book Ghost Boy: My Escape from a Life Locked Inside My Own Body.The conversation leads to a discussion about detachment, a coping mechanism that may be used constructively for those times when fear or negativity is prevalent and potentially disruptive in our daily life. Leslyn, a Professional Counselor in private practice shares her thoughts on this topic.Leslie and Leslyn share experiences and stories that outline some helpful tips about coping with derogatory thoughts that you can try at home.For more information on Leslie and Leslyn as well and more great ideas you can try at home, visit the website at TryThisAtHome.com and follow them on Twitter @trythisathome.

In this episode of Try This at Home, Leslie and Leslyn talk about what self care is and also - what it isn’t. While we all may envision candlelight and a warm bubble bath, self care can also be a day spent doing dishes and running the vacuum cleaner.We introduce you to Guy Winch - the psychologist who coined the term “emotional first aid” and talk about why people are so inept in the category of self-care.We spend a bit of time talking about the discipline of self care and how we might fit it into our daily routines so that we don’t end up running on empty so much of the time.Finally, we offer a downloadable list of self-care activities and talk about how to use the list to motivate you to take care of yourself.

In this episode, Leslie and Leslyn inform us that a big part of time management is making sure that there is room in your schedule to have flexibility. It's important to use a planner to write things down – a paper planner has been indicated to be more effective overall. The main idea is to create a visual for your time allocation.What kind of things go in a planner? Tasks and appointments are designated in your planner but not habits. The discussion illustrates variations of calendar strategies that work for different types of people.The use of lists is also discussed as it pertains to managing time. Leslie and Leslyn offer suggestions to maximize your time with those pesky tasks that take very little overall time. Multitasking, the two-minute rule and the ‘toaster game’ are reviewed as options to make the time you have, work for you.Time management doesn’t mean you have to live by an immovable schedule but creating a work flow that allows you to get things done.

SHOW NOTES:Toxic people pop up at unexpected times and in unexpected places. They are manipulative, judgemental unapologetic, don’t accept personal responsibility and rarely ask about you. They are inconsistent and may ask you to pick them over other long-standing relationships.When you spend time in the company of toxic people you may be affected by their drama, dread being around them or feel exhausted when they leave. They don’t accept your boundaries or respect your values, causing you to check out and disengage from the relationship.Leslie and Leslyn share thoughts and tips on how to handle those people who may be toxic and how to create distance. They share how you can love people but set boundaries so that the hurt is kept at bay and the toxicity doesn’t continue to contaminate you.We end the episode with a tip sheet that outlines each of the recommendations we make that you can print and keep in a handy place.

Look around! It’s everywhere -- “never give up” “don’t quit” “just keep going” “just keep swimming” “persist” . These messages are obviously meant to energize and inspire us when the going gets tough in order that we might keep working towards reaching our goals. There is another side of that argument however. Nobody talks seriously about the other side of the coin, and that’s when you should give up, or quit. Sometimes, no matter how much persistence or grit or motivation you have, there are instances in when quitting is the better idea. Quitting doesn’t always mean that you’ve failed. Sometimes you give up on one dream because another one comes along. But sometimes quitting is the smart thing to do. It may mean that you stop the bleeding, protect your resources, and redirect precious energy.Leslie and Leslyn share information about a concept called “escalation of commitment” and it basically just means throwing good money (or time, etc.) after bad. Leslie’s husband is a lead researcher in this arena and she’s learned a lot through osmosis. Their conversation touches on a number of scenarios we all experience from waiting for a bus to running a business.They challenge listeners to examine the areas in their lives where this so called ‘bleeding’ occurs and reevaluate the time and resource that might be better employed elsewhere.

SHOW NOTES:From the moment we develop awareness, rules guide us. We learn about standards, values, and expectations before we learn to talk. These elements become the list of ‘should’s in our life.These should’s establish the base from which our life is guided and some of them are quite central to ‘who’ we are. The problem with should’s is that many of them fail to make sense outside of the environment in which they were originally established but we continue to hold on to them.By the time we are adults in our own homes, raising children, working jobs, and trying to maintain our relationships – the list of ‘should’s’ is longer than the day is long. We are striving to meet demands and expectations which have piled up through the years, without questioning their validity for this period of our lives, this day, or this hour.Of course, we all have responsibilities and obligations that are important to us and we want to accomplish them. However, instead of commanding yourself to do something because you SHOULD…. First examine where it is coming from.Are you taking down the curtains and washing them because it is important to YOU? Or is it something your mother did because she lived on a dirt road and the windows were open all spring?Are you making a casserole for your sick neighbor after work today because that’s what the other gals who are at-home moms did? Or because you want to help your friend?Are you saying no to lunch with a friend because you ‘should’ stay home and get the laundry done?What is YOUR motivation? What feels authentic to YOUR life? Which of these ‘should’s’ fit with YOUR values, goals, and motivation?Leslie and Leslyn dissect the idea of shoulds and get you thinking about your day to day life with a free resource you can print to help clarify your motivation.

An expectation is a belief that is centered on the future and may or may not be realistic. We’re told over and over again to lower our expectations or to release them all together but many of them are subconscious.Leslie and Leslyn share stories that demonstrate how embedded expectations are in our day to day activities and talk about how to notice them and then what to do with them when they interfere with the quality of our lives. They make the point that not all expectations are problematic and some of us may indeed benefit from keeping them in place.A big part of this discussion focuses on becoming aware of and communicating expectations in a way that allows your relationships to flourish instead of flounder.

When we are challenged with high expectations and when we are inclined to establish high goals for ourselves, it’s possible that we strive for perfection. Even though perfection doesn’t exist, striving for it can push us to go further and reach higher but not always. Occasionally, striving for perfection indicates that we’ve adopted unrelenting standards; a potentially unhealthy adaptation of internal expectations. Leslyn runs through a list of conditions that may indicate the condition. Their conversation offers stories and examples of how misplaced expectations can become disruptive unless we become acutely aware of them in our day to day life. They offer suggestions about mitigating the effects of perfectionism and clarifying healthy internal expectations.

Acceptance is defined as a “willingness to tolerate” when we don’t agree or approve of something. It’s more challenging than many of us want to admit for those relationships that are really close to home. While we tend to simply accept that our friends are quirky or different, it’s harder to apply the same liberties to familial relationships because our expectations get in the way.Leslie and Leslyn share stories and examples of acceptance to demonstrate the challenge and resolution when someone we love engages in behavior that we find difficult to accept. They explain that acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and the lives that we live - as they are. They conceptualize the term “it is what it is” so that we understand what it means to be more present and based in the reality of what we cannot change. In order to change anything we have the power to change – we must see it clearly AS IT IS – not worse or better than it is – in order to change it accurately and reliably. If we want to turn sadness into something different, we have to stop resisting the sadness and accept its presence. The first step to anything is quite simply, acceptance.They recommend that the listener think of something that they’ve been challenged to accept, something not within personal control and to sit with it a few minutes each day. The Try This at Home tip is to see it as a part of your life and to actively accept. They remind us of the power of the Serenity prayer - having the serenity to accept…

Boundaries are important for emotional health. This conversation focuses on what a boundary is, how to set them, and what to do when they get crossed.Leslyn and Leslie offer examples and suggestions for those times when people pleasing becomes unhealthy. When we sacrifice our wellness for the sake of another’s happiness, we’ve more than likely breached our own boundary.They share how ‘givers’ allow themselves to be taken advantaged of and talk about how to set boundaries as a method of self care and emotional survival. Learning how to say “no” can be challenging if there is a long history of “yes” and they offer suggestions on how to recognize when “no” becomes important.Boundaries can be too rigid or not firm enough and they discuss how to move them when necessary; ultimately experimenting until there is a sense of comfort. Indeed, boundaries change as circumstances change. This requires good communication and self-awareness.

SHOW NOTES:We learn to talk at somewhere between 1 and 3 years of age. We learn from our environment and initially develop a way of speaking that mimics our immediate surrounding with no regard for it effectiveness. Along the way our pattern develops based on the responses and interactions most apt to meet our needs. They tend to fall into four different categories:Passive:The Passive communicator rarely expresses as they don’t want to make waves or disagree with people. They avoid confrontation and hesitate to speak up. The are apologetic, self-conscious, and tend not to use their voice. Passive communicators may sigh a lot, ask permission frequently, rarely implements plans, and complains instead of taking action. They avoid, ignore, leave, withdraw, and constantly ask for advice. Generally they have low self esteem.Aggressive:Aggressive communicators are close minded, bad listeners, don’t easily see other perspectives, tend to interrupt and/or monopolize the conversation. They believe their way is the best way and find it difficult to be considered wrong. They achieve their goals by domineering, bullying, patronize, and by speaking condescendingly; often at other's expense. Being bossy, putting others down, and overpowering people is their go to - M. O. Their emotions run toward anger, hostility, impatience, and frustration.Passive-Aggressive:Passive-aggressive people say one thing with their voice and another with their body language and behavior. “It’s ok” when it obviously is not. “Nothing’s wrong” when something obviously is. Passive-aggressive people don’t make sense, they are unreasonable, and they don’t express their frustrations directly. They gossip, habitually criticize others, and compete for power in relationships. They use sarcasm to veil hostility by saying “just kidding” and resort to subtle “digs”. The ‘silent treatment’ and sullen resentment are common recourse’s. It is common for passive-aggressive people to lie, make excuses, back stab, push buttons and blame. They distort facts and mi-direct people attention.Assertive:Assertive people value self and the rights of others. They try hard and accept the consequences. They are an effective and active listener who states limits and expectations. They don’t judge. They are honest, direct while considering others feelings. They check in with you. They are curious and self aware; confident and playful; decisive and proactive. They are action oriented, fair, realistic, and consistent. They see options and respect others with enthusiasm, even temper, and a wish for well-being. Generally, assertive people experience self-esteem and confidence but also promote it in others.Most of us cross from style to style based on emotion and situation but we have one particular style that is dominant and comfortable - some might say ‘automatic’. Leslie and Leslyn offer examples of each style and make suggestions identifying your style for clarity while you seek to improve communication in all your interpersonal relationships.

From the proverbial “I” statements to suggestions on how to use feeling vocabulary more efficiently, they run through a variety of examples to help you think about your own dialogue challenges. Reminders about interrupting and listening more effectively are reviewed along with an investigation of what it actually means to ‘stay present’.They also talk about vernacular habits that commonly interfere with good communication; mistakes that many of us make when we’re emotionally charged. Understanding that little changes can make a significant difference in the outcome, they’ve designed a print out to keep as a handy reference for the next time you find yourself needing a little guidance.Don’t forget to download the list from the ‘Free Resources’ page to keep handy for those times that communication gets difficult.

In this episode, Leslie and Leslyn introduce the first few of several strategies to help you prevent defensiveness from disrupting your communication. We all get defensive. In fact, many of them are created in childhood to protect us from perceived threats. As we grow, they continue to root in our psyche until we are no longer aware of them. Like the fence in your backyard, we simply acknowledge it as part of the whole.In this first of two episodes, the discussion highlights the role of emotional defenses and then suggestions for mitigating the deleterious effects are presented. Leslie and Leslyn offer tips and examples of how to break down those barriers to a more effective and healthy communication pattern.As usual, their discussion elaborates on real world examples; breaking apart the dysfunctional habits and offering specific alternatives to improve all of your relationships. Simple strategies are presented in a printable format in the Free Resources area of the website for reference although it isn’t a bad idea to scribble a few notes as you listen!

In this episode, Leslie and Leslyn finish the conversation talking about several strategies to help you prevent defensiveness from disrupting your communication. We all get defensive. In fact, many of them are created in childhood to protect us from perceived threats. As we grow, they continue to root in our psyche until we are no longer aware of them. Like the fence in your backyard, we simply acknowledge it as part of the whole.In this second of two episodes, the discussion highlights the role of emotional defenses and then suggestions for mitigating the deleterious effects are presented. Leslie and Leslyn offer tips and examples of how to break down those barriers to a more effective and healthy communication pattern.As usual, their discussion elaborates on real world examples; breaking apart the dysfunctional habits and offering specific alternatives to improve all of your relationships. Simple strategies are presented in a printable format in the Free Resources area of the website for reference although it isn’t a bad idea to scribble a few notes as you listen!

In today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn start out by talking about the value of arguing. When couples - or people in relationships - confront issues, respectfully oppose, and seek resolution, they are not only demonstrating maturity but teaching observers that you can love someone and still disagree. It’s an important skill to teach children. When we withhold this demonstration, we allow a false impression to develop.They continue on to describe what a healthy argument looks like and most importantly, share how to end with a win. Ultimately, it’s when both parties feel heard, respected, and experience a sense of resolution in some manner. As usual, they use examples and real life stories to drive home the point.They introduce John Gottman, PhD - a leading researcher in the field of couples therapy - and comment on his recommended strategies on conflict resolution. The use of “I” statements, validation, listening, and vocalizing needs is discussed. Additionally, Leslie and Leslyn offer some realistic examples of what it sounds like to take responsibility and offer empathy even if you don’t agree with your partner.

SHOW NOTES:Our communication series began in Episode 12 when we discussed Communication Styles, then we shared a list of rules to use when you talk with one another. We spent two weeks on getting defensive and how to address defensiveness and then last week we talked about how to have productive arguments. This episode describes the four pitfalls as described by John Gottman - a leading expert in marital relationships. He calls them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and we describe how they undermine communication in all relationships.Avoid Criticism.Criticism attacks the character of the person you are talking with. It erodes the foundation of a relationship and ultimately leads to contempt. Criticism is easily identified by the use of YOU statements.Avoid Contempt.Treating someone with contempt is downright mean. It’s when we mock, ridicule, name call, mimic, and overall demonstrate disrespect. The target of contempt will feel unloved and develop feelings of worthlessness. Gottman suggests that a contemptuous relationship is a predictor of divorce.Avoid Defensiveness.Defensiveness is a way of turning blame around and eliminates potential for healthy conflict resolutions. We talk a lot about defensiveness in episodes 14 & 15. You can listen for a review.Avoid Stonewalling.When someone engages the proverbial “silent treatment”, they withdraw, shut down, and stop reacting. They might act busy, disengage, or storm out. The primary behavior is avoiding the confrontation altogether. Stonewalling is a serious symptom of DIS-communication. Generally, it’s the result of years of negativity. Often preceded by criticism, contempt, and defensiveness. By the time people notice it… it’s a bad, bad habit.Listen to the episode to hear how to combat these destructive forces and our Try This at Home for this week!

Show Notes:Leslie and Leslyn brainstorm ideas and share thoughts about future episodes in this unplugged episode. It’s a compilation of in-between recording sessions; sometimes silly, sometimes serious.The unplanned conversations can be dynamic and demonstrate thoughts and personality in very different ways than the more developed ideas presented in organized podcast episodes.They’ve decided to share some of those audio clips and you’ll end up feeling as if you are right there with them. Be sure to listen all the way to the end for a good giggle!

SHOW NOTES:Communication is a skill that you turn into an art. Listening is at the cornerstone of that skill set. Sometimes there is a difference between listening to the sound of someone talking and actually ‘hearing’ what people have said. We are often distracted and not present as we engage in listening; particularly with the addition of electronics.Leslie and Leslyn share tips for listening based on the acronym of L.I.S.T.E.N and discuss experiences and antidotes to help you improve the skill.Understanding that the first duty of love is to listen, this episode reviews the basic tenets of demonstrating respect for the speaker. They discuss how to focus on a conversation so that the speaker knows you are interested, involved, focused, and have understood and are able to evaluate what has been said.They talk about listening without emotional attachment, how to maintain eye contact, how to self soothe when a defense is activated, and how to engage a speaker to let them know they’ve been heard.A tip sheet is also available for download on the TTAH Website for this skill as an addition to the tips offered in the communication series.

SHOW NOTES:For more than two decades now, electronic communication has infiltrated every corner of our lives. An entire generation has grown up with instant contact as an expectation. This episode is a conversation about the pros and cons of communicating electronically.Because Leslyn and Leslie are both business owners, they talk about the negative side of being constantly available as a professional and the implications of having being reachable 24/7. Leslie shares thoughts about a perception that our cultural norm has developed into the notion that we are all immediately at the mercy of others needs. Leslyn shares ideas of how to set appropriate boundaries with customers, friends and family who might be overstepping accessibility.As always, they share personal stories that highlight the topic from a variety of perspectives. The notion of ‘instant access’ is dissected in these personal examples and strategies to balance the frustrations are offered.

SHOW NOTES:This episode is based on an article from the website The Learning Mind entitled “How Complaining Rewires Your Brain for Negativity and Literally Kills You”. We found it absolutely fascinating and immediately thought of some people who suffer from Chronic illness and realized that they tend to be vocal pessimists.Leslyn and Leslyn dug into the research and explain the key points.1. “Synapses that fire together wire together.”Thoughts are electrical signals that move through the brain. As you think, your brain develops a ‘neural pathway’ to provide efficiency… it is creating a PATH for the thought to travel in the easiest, fastest way so that your thoughts come quickly and automatically. The more you think a particular thought - the faster it can be recalled.2. The Shortest Path Wins the RaceTherefore, if you continually have negative thoughts, those synapses associated with those negative thoughts will grow even more. This makes it easier to have those negative thoughts. Gradually you will become a more negative person over time and find it harder to find the positive in life.Essentially, repetition of thought - any thought - will create short and quick pathways that make it really easy for that thought to surface. The shorter the path… the more quickly that thought becomes dominant.3. Negativity breeds NegativityIt turns out that negative people in our surroundings can also affect us. Think about a crowd turning from a peaceful protest to an aggressive mob in seconds. Or a group of ladies bitching about an absent friend. It is all too easy to get caught up in the moment.We tend to naturally empathize… or at least our brain takes on the challenge. When we see someone experiencing an emotion, we tend to relate to what that person is going through. It’s the thing that makes us cry in the movie theater or when someone wins an important challenge. Likewise, this happens with negative emotions as well. Each moment you spend in an environment of negativity, your brain is wiring for that persistent attempt at empathy.4. Negativity produces stressStress produces Cortisol. Cortisol is released as an agent in our ‘flight or fight’ response. If we don’t actually fight or flee… the chemical is stored in our blood and too much of it causes: High blood pressure, Lower immune function, Lower bone density, Heart disease, Weight Gain & more.They discuss complaining antidotes such as self care, time out, mindfulness, self-expression, effective communication, alternate expression, gratitude, and affirmations. They challenge listeners to increase awareness of complaints and commit to generating an antidote each time.

SHOW NOTES:What is an affirmation? By definition, an affirmation is “the action or process of affirming something” as well as “emotional support or encouragement”. In the New Thought movement, an affirmation is defined as “a carefully formatted statement that should be repeated to one’s self and written down frequently”. As they are formulated, attention is directed so that they are “present tense, positive, personal, and specific”. It’s something you say to yourself… it’s an “I am” statement or an “I have” statement a positive phrases used to challenge negative or unhelpful thoughts.One of the key theories behind positive affirmations is self-affirmation theory which posits that our sense of self relates to our perceived ability to control outcomes. It suggests that we remunerate on a global narrative about ourselves and that when we believe and completely accept our competence that we act in ways to manifest that belief. Self-affirmations have been shown to decrease health-deteriorating effects of stress, foster better eating habits, and are positively linked to academic achievement.An affirmation needs to be:Personal – I, my life, I know, I believe, I trustPositive – absolute, all, always, in fact, everyday, at all times, in every way.Specific – (naming the ‘thing’ that you want to affirm)Present – now, as I breathe, in this moment, at this time, here, am, is.Example: I am (Personal) always (positive) extending compassion (the ‘thing’) as I breathe (present moment).It doesn’t have to be in that exact order or using only those words of course, it just has to be meaningful to you.Leslie and Leslyn suggest strategies to help you create and practice affirmations in an effort to manifest or retrain your thoughts so that they direct your life more positively.They offer a tip sheet on the podcast website to help you create a set of flashcards for practicing.

Rachel Held Evans stirred a lot of controversy before she died with her book “Inspired” where she challenges the literal understandings of biblical stories. She describes the Bible as “a living breathing captivating and compounding book” that continues to offer guidance and instruction but not when taken literally.We start the series by sharing our personal faith journeys and begin a debate About the rule of the Bible in those journeys. It’s not a conversation about what’s right or wrong or a conversation geared to change anyone’s mind. We are initiating this discussion in an effort to promote curiosity as we believe it’s the greatest pathway to growth.We share thoughts about what it means to challenge the mainstream, especially in terms of religion and faith. Faith can be confusing when there are so many ideas and beliefs and we start by sharing our personal questions as they surfaced in our stories.We hope you listen with an open mind and share your curiosity with us as we have this conversation.

Leslie and Leslyn begin by discussing the challenging question “What is a day?” as it pertains to the Creation story in the bible. Can we believe in science and the bible at the same time? This conversation starts by challenging some basic thoughts while we share our individual views.How do you envision God? We sit back and share ideas of ‘what’ God may be. We share thoughts on why religion personifies God and what kind of challenges that presents.Rachel Held Evans speaks about the bible and the stories it tells. Leslie and Leslyn dive into how the bible is often interpreted by each readers perspective and why that may be problematic. They challenge the use of biblical ideology when it offers a convenient rational for behavior that is obviously ‘unloving’.They strongly encourage listeners to sit back and ask questions to challenge beliefs; whether or not they align with the goal of love. They challenge the classification of ‘Christian’ and the stories we tell ourselves about the preconceived notions of that meaning. The conversation continues with a call out to keep asking questions.

In the final episode of our discussion motivated by Rachel Held Evan’s book ‘Inspired’, Leslie and Leslyn center their discussion on curiosity about the stories we hold onto and questions we might benefit from asking.They elaborate on some key points from the last few chapters of the book and challenge a few habits of Fundamentalist clergy. Some of the basic elements of modern organized religion are discussed and contested. They debate the use of the pronoun “he” to reference God and contemplate how it is problematic in a world poised to empower women.Leslie and Leslyn ponder how the words we use actually matter and shape our thoughts and behaviors. Such is also true in religion and the views that are adopted.They talk about what they got out of reading the book and surprisingly, it’s uniquely different. While they agree that God is Love and that a journey toward becoming Christ-like is a shared value, they take away different messages.They go on to skim the surface of the question of whether or not education changes the way you think of the bible and ultimately, of one’s religion. While many people with significant scholarship are deeply religious, the dominant ideology of educated people at-large tends to be more liberal.The central view of challenging ideology - no matter it’s basis - is reinforced throughout this series. They maintain that the most constructive effort one can make personally is to consider a large gamut of possibilities and to seek alternative points of view for a well rounded - and informed - perspective.

In this episode, Leslie and Leslyn share stories of judging and also of feeling judged. They explain that the practice of being judgmental is rooted in personal pain that gets triggered. As is typical with their suggestions, it is recommended that the first step in breaking free from judgment is to raise awareness of one's tendency to be judgmental as well as those times when we feel the recipient of judging attitudes.They share expertise from professionals who recommend identifying the type of triggers that activate old wounds - sending us into a spiral of assumptions and critical assessments. They offer specific advice and techniques to work on eliminating judgment as a method of interaction; noticing that it is in direct opposition to the state of love.Using Gabrielle Bernstein’s six step process for releasing judgment as a blueprint, Leslie and Leslyn run through ideas and tidbits to help you cope with judgments as they pop up with an introduction to the ultimate goal of forgiveness all around.

As an introduction to the possibility of reincarnation, Leslie and Leslyn introduce their audience to Dr. Brian Weiss, Dr. Ian Stevenson, Roger Woolger, and Dr. Puryear - researchers who have spent entire careers investigating the potential that our souls come back again and again. They consider the question of whether or not our souls are ‘reborn’ into different bodies throughout time with the underlying goal of perfecting our ability to know the virtue of “love”.Leslyn shares stories of personal experiences that indicate the potential for past lives. She invites listeners to consider alternative to established beliefs and suggests that a belief in reincarnation may indeed coincide with religious beliefs. They direct listeners to resources to use for more information.This is the first of two conversations that speak to the possibilities of reincarnation and why it makes sense. While it’s impossible to discern its validity, it is likewise impossible to prove otherwise so listen to both episodes and think about your own experiences.Leslie and Leslyn have designed a ‘reincarnation journal’ to assist you in considering if a past life memory is sitting under your subconscious awareness. It is available on the Try This At Home website under ‘free resources’.

Leslie and Leslyn dive further into the conversation of reincarnation and consider possibilities of why souls may return over and over again. The supposition is based largely on work from Dr. Brian Weiss and Dr. Roger Woolger, both experts in the field of past lives. The conversation centers on their contention that we return to learn Love and perfect our human capacity for it.Leslyn shares how her personal research over several decades has shaped her philosophical and spiritual views. Leslie’s contribution to the conversation starts where many people are - a curiosity that is confusing with traditional ideas based in Christianity and their conversation touches on the potential for those two perspectives to merge peacefully.They reiterate how to use the Reincarnation Journal (found on the website) for the goal of identifying elements that may indicate a past life.

Leslie starts this episode sharing some thoughts from a therapy session years ago. Leslyn explains her “totem pole” theory about depression, anxiety, and living an authentic life. The conversation steps into gear as the ladies discuss character strengths and how they support authentic living. Listeners are directed to a web location where they can identify their strengths and the discussion elaborates on how they support good living.The term ‘authentic’ is explored as each of them share stories and life experiences about how being ‘inauthentic’ affected their lives. Listen in to see if any of the conversation resonates or to hear a few nuances to help you grow toward a more authentic self.

This episode starts with the announcement of Leslyn’s book which, was recently published and is available on Amazon.com. They move on to the discussion of habits and share tidbits about the science behind why we develop habits - even the bad ones.Of course, the question on most people’s mind is how to break bad habits and/or how to build better ones. Leslyn and Leslie talk candidly about the most necessary ingredient for both. The dive right to the root element of desire and debate the legitimacy of the argument that we do what we want to more often than not.A portion of the conversation is focused on the fallacy many of us believe about needing 21 days to develop new habits; research defies that common understanding. Leslie and Leslyn spend time debunking that myth with explanations and personal stories. They continue with comments about realistic expectations regarding any habit change.

Today we’re talking about motivation in a follow up to last week’s conversation about habits. An inability to get motivated isn’t always about depression, it’s often a sign of priority or desire. It’s very difficult to find motivation for something that is misaligned from our own value. Additionally, it’s challenging when we can’t find a path to the end goal and we are stuck. Sometimes, our brains shut down because we simply run out of emotional gas and the lack of motivation is a signal that we need to stop and engage in self care to recharge.Leslie and Leslyn offer suggestions and tips for those times when motivation wanes, regardless of the root. It starts with what you value. Self awareness is necessary to understand the core value that is in conflict with the behavior you need motivation for.With their natural banter and quirky stories, Leslie and Leslyn offer perspective on motivation and how to get things done!

We are all hardwired to feel fear. It’s part of our survival instinct and while most of us consider it from a physical perspective, it applies to our emotions as well. When we don’t feel emotionally safe, we create defense mechanisms that protect us. Anxiety, control issues, and many negative emotions are rooted in fear.Leslie and Leslyn spend this discussion sharing stories and antidotes about feeling fear, digging into the roots, and offering strategies on how to overcome them. Generally, when we are afraid of losing something, having less of something, or never having something… our fear response activates a behavior. With a little introspection and self honesty, we can better understand ourselves and in turn, communicate with those we love and care about, more effectively.Leslyn’s recommendation to ‘lean into fear’ is discussed and clarified in an effort to help people engage more honestly. Their usual banter and storytelling offers good ideas and clarity for anyone challenged by worry, stress, or fear.

Emotional intimacy is that connection you share with someone close in spirit; it’s the feeling part of a relationship that allows you to feel safe. The relationships that allow you to be the most authentic; to be you without judgment or criticism.Emotional intimacy can be difficult in intimate and/or romantic relationship. Yet, it’s the single most important feature of a sustainable relationship. It needs to be nurtured and readily available.In the challenges of our day to day life, we tend to divide and conquer so much that we neglect engaging with our partners in a way to support continued emotional intimacy. We may expect that our partner ‘accept’ a different priority while we work and raise children but the consequence is that we distance ourselves.Leslie and Leslyn share strategies to engage in your partner’s life so that emotional intimacy can be sustained no matter the differences between you. They give detailed suggestions to help build and restore that connection that is so necessary to maintain a strong bond.The Try This At Home for the week is to print out the tip sheet on the website and sit down with your partner or engage in the suggested activities.

This week Leslie and Leslyn are spouting off about the mixed messages and double standards that we are constantly exposed to on a daily basis. They come from everywhere and we probably have a few ourselves.It’s interesting to think that some of the gender related messages that we think have been squashed are alive and well in the hearts of some people. They tend to be exposed at embarrassing or inconvenient moments. Even when people don’t intend to convey a sexist remark, the embedded ‘mixed message’ that infiltrates our way of thinking is exposed.They comment on cultural differences that many of us remain blinded toward even when we consider ourselves accepting of diversity. They speak about the need for all of us to pay attention to the biases that exist from our personal experiences and expose the contradictions that we live by. They share that by eliminating the concepts of right and wrong, we can develop more acceptance.Our biases continue into our personal lives in ways that we may not be aware of. As usual, Leslie and Leslyn challenge our way of thinking and implore us to be conscious of how what we think impacts our external behavior - particularly in terms of mixed messages and double standards.

As time goes by, the number of things that parents seem to be worried about seems to be growing exponentially. Is the world really more dangerous or are we simply more aware of life’s dangers? Did Helicopter parenting rise out of our culture or has our culture risen from fearful parents?Leslie and Leslyn talk about different styles of parenting through fear from Helicopter parenting to Defensive parenting. They explain that many of these dysfunctional parenting tendencies stem from our own childhoods and/or the fear that we individually hold. Ultimately, we are passing our fears from one generation to the next when we stifle childhood experiences because we are afraid.Dismantling obstacles and eliminating risk are specifically hazardous to the long term welfare of our children. Even though parents think they are helping, in reality they are preventing children from learning extremely important problem solving life skills. The development of resilience is necessary for emotional stability in adulthood.Another problematic parenting style is focused on steering a child in a direction motivated by the parent instead of the desires and dreams of the child. Some parents tend to attempt and fulfill personal broken or faded dreams through their children; living vicariously per se. When we push our children in a direction that is inauthentic to them - as individuals - we are setting both generations up for dysfunctional patterns.With personal examples, antidotes, and solutions… Leslie and Leslyn help you think about how your own fears are guiding your parenting decisions.

Leslie and Leslyn spend this episode talking about all the ways that we - as parents - make mistakes. First of all… we don’t know what we don’t know. Secondly, most of us simply do the best we know to do and learn along the way, and lastly… even when we think we have it figured out, a kid comes along that doesn’t follow any of the rules!This episode challenges those ideas we thought were great and helps us find peace with the ideas that weren’t as much. They share successes and failures in hopes that the listener will find comfort in the universality and commonalities impacting most parents today.The ladies share honest thoughts about their own parenting and ideas about how to learn from the mistakes we all make. They indicate that it’s simply human to make mistakes and that when we are imperfect parents, we teach our children real lessons about the world.From losing our children in a crowd, forgetting about the tooth fairy, and all the in-between lapse in judgments or skill sets, this is an open and honest conversation between two moms who opt to learn from the experiences. You’ll laugh and reflect in meaningful ways!

This episode focuses on raising children who don’t express a sense of entitlement. Much of the focus is about raising kids with an understanding of financial responsibility in a time where advertising and social media tickles our need for instant gratification. Leslie and Leslyn break down many of the challenges that exist in our current culture from the entry into a cashless society, the impact of social media, and the ‘disposable’ mentality that permeates young minds.The conversation is yet another great dissection with personal examples and ideas to solve problems created by ideas of entitlement. Entitlement doesn’t come from getting what you want… it comes from not having any concept what it takes to get what you want.Leslie and Leslyn use personal stories to share how they’ve handled the challenges of raising children in modern times. They talk about what worked and what didn’t as they offer suggestions from what they learned. Ultimately, they leave the listener with some introspective ideas about entitlement and eliminating it as a possibility in the lives of your own family.

Leslie and Leslyn have been talking about parenting and no such discussion would be complete without a few words about disciplining! Leslie begin by pointing out that no one thing will work with all children; a fact that frustrates parents to breaking points.A discussion about consequences begins with the point behind behavior modification - the goal of discipline. Is there a difference between girls and boys? How do you find that ‘thing’ that will make an impact and foster desirable behavior. When your ‘go to’ method fails to work, what do you do? When you are too tired to follow through, how are you to be taken seriously?Leslie and Leslyn share personal stories and antidotes to combat discipline challenges that will get you thinking about alternate ways to get your point across. If nothing else, they’ll remind you that you’re not alone and isolated in your feelings of frustration and ineffectiveness.

In the final episode of 2019, Leslie and Leslyn wrap up their parenting series by sharing a crowd sourced collection of parenting tips and tricks. They reached out to their social media following and asked the question “what’s the best parenting advice you’ve ever received?” and share many of the comments that were offered.Leslie and Leslyn comment on the collected ideas if they have personal experience with it and add their own from a combined 45 years of parenting experience.Additionally they review many of the lessons they’ve learned along the way as new podcasters and speak a bit about the possibilities they’re considering for the 2020 season. Listen all the way through to hear a great offer! They’re giving away the collection of resource material from this first season!

Back for Season 2 of Try This at Home, Leslie and Leslyn catch up after a long break, reflecting on the previous year while anticipating the new year to come. They focus on some of the goals they would like to accomplish this year in life and for the podcast. Leslie and Leslyn give you a sneak peek into some of the topics for this season as well as some valuable additions to the podcast that will keep you wanting to come back for more every Wednesday! Leslie and Leslyn have many captivating topics planned for this year, get ready for another spectacular season of Try This at Home!In this episode, we discuss…Introductions—Starting Season Two [0:01]Show Intro [0:18]Start of the Podcast [1:03]New Direction [7:28]The Burning Question [9:50]Sneak Peek-Passive Questions [11:00]Favorites and Giveaways! [11:35]Books! [12:13]Podcast Resolutions [15:36]How do you Define Resolution? [21:27]Closing Points [23:20]Try This at Home! [24:23]Episode Notes:After a well-deserved ten-week break filled with family and travel, Leslie and Leslyn are ready for a new year for the podcast! The episode starts with Leslie and Leslyn catching up with each other and you, the listener. With the end to a very active year, comes fresh ideas, and a new direction for the podcast. Leslie and Leslyn brought you 40 insightful episodes covering a wide variety of topics last year, having Leslyn outline a few episodes about communication from the first season, that even she keeps going back to. All of the episodes from the first season can be revisited at any time on their website trythisathome.com anytime you feel you need a refresher!Leslie and Leslyn introduce their new season by welcoming a few changes into the podcast. The goal for the podcast originally was to leave the listeners with a tangible item, such as a printable worksheet or a concept to try. As the podcast continues to grow and evolve, some of the topics that Leslie and Leslyn will discuss do not fit so neatly into this box, so they adapt! The main goal is to really get you to think—think about an idea that we work through on every episode and try it at home!Leslie and Leslyn will offer you their perspectives and experience on an idea each episode that will allow the listener to become more open-minded. Being more open-minded bring a healthier, happier, successful, and more connected you! Leslyn believes that there is a strong connection between thinking about other’s perspectives and broadening the possibilities an individual can achieve. This podcast will now strive to leave you with a burning question at the end of each episode to try at home. Proposing such a burning question, makes room for more meaningful and fulfilling questions while at the same time allowing the individuals to grow.It is briefly discussed the questions of passive permission, giving you a sneak peek into a future topic on the show. When is something your business? How do you know when it’s a judgment and when it’s standing up for your own values? These are just a few questions to ponder to get your mind eager for the new season!Another incorporation into this year’s season is the introduction of giveaways! Many chances to win will be introduced, and even the chance to win a book that Leslie and Leslyn have recommended! Want to win? Follow us for more information on our social media platforms!In Season 2 of Try This at Home the two hosts will point out some of their favorites ideas and gadgets allowing for more conversations of interesting things to be incorporated. Leslie and Leslyn noticed how well their book recommendations went on the last season of the podcast and now have a new goal of sharing at least one book a month to their listeners. Are you interested in these book recommendations? Would you like to be part of a Try This at Home Book Club? If you are interested, please let Leslie and Leslyn know by reaching out through any of their social media platforms! Us at Try This at Home would love to hear from you!With the excitement of new goals and plans for the new year, Leslie and Leslyn discuss resolutions. Do you keep resolutions? Leslie makes them every year and strives to achieve something and not really dwell on “failures”. Making these personal goals allows you to reflect on your achievements throughout the year and see how much you have accomplished!Have you not set a positive goal for the new year yet? That’s fine, it’s never too late to start! This week’s Try This at Home, is to think about your personal goals for the year. You don’t necessarily need to make it a “resolution”. Let’s yourself think deeply about how you would like to personally grow this year. Some ideas may be to grow in patience, be more kind, or strive to become a better communicator. What do you want to do personally, and how do you want to grow your heart?Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Random Acts of KindnessOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Last Season’s Episode “Your Communication Styles”https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/16/communication-stylesLast Season’s “8 Rules for Better Communication”https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/21/8-rules-for-better-communicationYear One by Nora Roberts [Leslie’s Recommendation]https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34311452-year-oneMessage in a Bottle by Nicholas Sparks [Leslyn’s Recommendation]https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3478.Message_in_a_BottleThe Angel Experiment (Maximum Ride #1) [Another Recommendation]https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13152.The_Angel_ExperimentCan’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

Leslie and Leslyn begin today’s discussion talking about Leslyn’s late husband, Harlan, and what his final wishes were. Her partner of 10 years did not want to have a funeral. He was a very connected individual with lots of people who were impacted by his passing in the community. Leslyn was faced with overwhelming disappointment when she voiced that he did not wish to have a funeral. Harlan’s greatest wish was to spread peace and happiness. He believed, as many do, that kindness is the seed to peace and happiness. So, Leslyn made a Facebook page called Harlan’s Campaign to spread his final wish. On this page, Leslyn challenged everyone to engage in an act of kindness as a tribute to Harlan. By participating in an act of kindness, in honor of Harlan, she hoped this would help people grieve and do an act in remembrance of him. Leslie’s act of kindness in honor of Harlan was a $100 gift card that she gave away over Instagram. Leslyn goes on to say that Harlan was big into complimenting a person’s appearance as he felt if you could help someone feel better about themselves you could change the world.Kindness indeed can change the world. For Harlan, a big part of his everyday life and motivation was to help someone feel better in that moment. Leslie and Leslyn share a video clip explaining what happens when you express or receive kindness. Serotonin levels increase in both the receiver and the giver of the act of kindness and even doing one act of kindness a day can decrease your stress, anxiety, and depression. Kindness has such an immense impact on people that even someone seeing an act of kindness taking place can fill them with the same hormone and they are significantly more likely to pay it forward.Leslyn mentions the movie Pay it Forward where a social studies teacher gives his junior high class an assignment to change the world for the better and wants his students to put it into action. Leslie jokingly calls it the “World’s Best Pyramid Scheme”. The idea that one person can come up with an idea that can have a ripple effect that spreads throughout the world is riveting.The idea of kindness is to be able to do something that will uplift things for another. It doesn’t have to cost money. It could be something as simple as saying someone has a nice smile. Continuing the discussion, Leslie asks what about kindness causes serotonin to start being produced? Leslyn states that the human condition requires a sense of connection. Happiness is elevated when we feel connected to someone. Knowing someone has paid attention, the person feels acknowledged and in some small way you feel that connection. From that connection, a surge of the serotonin hormone is produced.Being aware of those around you and knowing that you have no idea what is going on in someone’s life should make you think more and practice kindness. The need to make that connection with someone even if you’ve never seen them before. Leslie sees it as acts of kindness being God’s way of using you in someone else’s life acting as a blessing in disguise. Kindness does not have to be a monumental thing; it can be a simple kindness as all kindness resonates with people.Leslie and Leslyn challenge you, the listener, in celebration of Random Acts of Kindness Day on February 17 to perform a random act of kindness. Leslyn encourages you to reach out to them and tell them how you were impacted by an act of kindness or even a story of how a random act impacted you. You are also encouraged to check out Harlan’s Campaign on Facebook. This week you are challenged to engage in a random act of kindness to raise your awareness of letting people know that you see them.The burning question of the week is this: What do you do with a $100 bill you found on the street? There is no one correct answer, conversations could even help you understand the people in your life better. As always, you are invited to reach out to us with your ideas!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Alone Time!One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Harlan’s Campaign – Facebook Pagehttps://www.latest.facebook.com/hashtagharlan/Pay it Forward Movie Trailerhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlZDDACt8NwEllen Show Remarkable Act of Kindness Segmenthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r10I2aONT8QRandom Acts of Kindness Dayhttps://www.randomactsofkindness.org/rak-dayCan’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

The episode starts out with a discussion of what a think week is and the benefits it can produce. Leslie shares a story, where her birthday present to her husband was to send him on a think week. Leslie got this idea from watching Netflix’s Bill Gates Documentary. A clip is played from the documentary where a think week is described. Melinda Gates, Bill’s wife, explains that a think week allows her husband to have time to slow down, write, and find the way that he wants lead. Bill Gates has been since the 90s spending a week alone, taking the time to read and think. He is said to absorb stacks of books and technical papers, anything that will help him understand the future clearer. Leslie gives this gift to her husband to allow him to go off and think deeply while she holds the fort down at home. This gave her husband an opportunity to think about his life not only professionally, but personally, as well as, time to brainstorm ideas as her husband is a tenured professor. This was the equivalent of a beach vacation for him and he was eternally grateful for the ability to do so.To have personal, professional growth Leslyn explains, it is paramount to spend time alone. As she points out, you would think that Bill Gates probably has a stacked calendar and a full week of isolation seems like a huge commitment. It brings up the message that no matter how busy you are, always make time for self-reflection and self-improvement. Leslyn points out that the busier that we are, the more likely we are to neglect this self-care. We convince ourselves that we do not have the time to take care of ourselves. Leslyn gives a great analogy, no one would ever put dead batteries in a flashlight and expect it to shine. So why do we expect ourselves to shine, even when our batteries are dead?Leslie mentions a quote that she read on social media stating that at the end of the day we are supposed to have nothing left. As she explains, this doesn’t seem correct. As again, using the battery analogy, if you are constantly draining a rechargeable battery every day, you will have less and less battery power over time. Leslyn adds that this kind of thinking is dangerous as it would reflect that the only recharge we have is sleep. This is not the case, as human existence has shown, sleep is part of our recharge but not everything. This advice to constantly be giving all the energy you have, everyday sets you up for failure going forward.Alone time allows this recharge as well as giving you the chance to develop more compassion for someone who might not be a part of your regular group. Spending too much time with the same group of people can actually reduce the amount of empathy that you are able to apply to others.This alone time doesn’t have to be a think week, it can be as simple as putting an hour into your day. Leslyn gives the example of going and sitting in your car during lunch. If it’s a bright sunny day, your car will naturally heat up and be filled with sunshine that over a lunch break will recharge you. Leslie’s alone time usually is spent at Starbucks where she is around people but is using that time to work on herself. In solitude, you are able to really solidify your ideas that were vague, and they become clearer. A lot of artist and writers do this as natural creators. It allows for someone to be more productive when there is no interruption.Leslie raises the question, what other things get improved in alone time? Leslyn shares that empathy, creativity, and stress-relief can improve in time taken alone. Alone time reduces noise in our life, such as business activity and environmental simulation. These types of noises can cause stress. Getting away from that can help reduce your stress. It’s like going into a dark room when you have a migraine.Leslyn goes on to say that being alone can help build your mental strengths. Although, as we’ve seen, connections are important, equally important is the ability to tolerate being alone. Research shows that being able to tolerate being alone leads to more happiness, better life satisfaction, and stress management. Strengthening the skills needed to be able to be alone increases your mental capacity.This raises the question, is there too much alone time? Leslyn doesn’t believe that there is a finite answer to this, more like a sliding scale. There is a line, because everybody has different needs. It’s okay to be comfortable alone but be cautious of getting too comfortable and not making an effort to socialize. We, as humans, are social creatures that need to experience connection to stimulate and remind us that we are loved and not alone in this world. Being alone with yourself is not the same as being alone in the world. Leslyn says, if you start feeling alone in the world you know that you have spent too much time alone.Leslie and Leslyn want you to get from this discussion that spending time alone can help you know yourself on a deeper level. The goal is to use this to think, which is a big focus of this podcast! Why are you who you are? The Try This at Home for this week is to try to take a look at what in your life would benefit from a think week, or think day, or even think hour. Make some time in your life at some point to spend time alone to ponder the deep, big questions about you and what you want to get out of the world. The burning question this week is why does a 7-inch pencil only have 5mm eraser?Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Subscription Services!One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Inside Bill’s Brain: Decoding Bill Gates Trailerhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCv29JKmHNYLast Season’s episode on Self Carehttps://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/2/12/self-care-first-aidCast Away Trailerhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGuOZPwLayYMandalorian Trailerhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmI7WKrAtqsWanting to Plan a Think Week?www.airbnb.com/Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

What kind of modern conveniences do you enjoy? In today’s world, if you want it, there’s a subscription service for it! Today, Leslie and Leslyn share the subscription services they are loving at the moment with a few other great shout-outs. Leslie and Leslyn start out the episode talking about Stitch Fix a personal styling subscription service that comes right to your door! They both use this service and have the Style Pass. It eliminates the need to even go to the mall, as you are getting hand selected pieces that your stylist thinks you’ll love. You can get a box whenever you want, the box includes 5 items that can be anything from clothing, shoes, or accessories. Leslie prefers to get just 5 clothing items, making Stitch Fix an incredibly flexible and customizable service. If you do not have the Styling Pass, there is a $20 styling fee applied to every box that goes towards whatever you keep, and if you keep all 5 items you get an extra 25% off! If you are interested in the Style Pass, you pay $50 a year, receive $50 on your first order, and are never charged a styling fee or to send any of the items back!Leslie also has the subscription service, Little Passports, for her children. Little Passports is divided into different age categories and sent in a “little suitcase”. The first box sends you basic items such as a coin collector. Each box after that, every month, is to teach your kids all about a new country!There are a few other clothing subscriptions that are mentioned one being Nordstrom’s Trunk Club that Leslyn says is similar to Stitch Fix. Le Tote is a rental clothing subscription that allows you to pick items and them send back after you wear them for whatever event you are planning! Rent the Runway is a little more elegant subscription as it allows you to rent designer dresses for special occasions. With Rent the Runway, you choose two sizes and are sent both dresses, you wear the one that fits and send them both back after your event!The meal service that Leslie and Leslyn love is Hello Fresh. For Leslyn, she orders two meals every other week giving her 4 servings in two weeks. After trying all the meal services, this was the one that worked best for her. You get stuck eating the same recipes, you put yourself in a burn out of the same food for months. Hello Fresh facilitates in putting variety into your meals. Everything is included, spices and all, portioned correctly so you don’t waste. It’s about $9 a meal, but you are getting restaurant quality and relatively healthy food in your own home!Leslyn also brings up one of her favorites, Naked Wines Club which is a great convenience for her as she’s so busy. It charges $40 a month and Leslyn lets that build and once a quarter buys a crate of wine. By doing this, she is usually getting a free bottle or two for buying in such large quantity! This is a great subscription service as it introduces you to wines from all over the world and is a nice way to try lots of different wines.Leslie’s next recommendation is Mighty Nest, which is only $10 a month and sends you different green, healthy home products. She has found some of the coolest products through this subscription service and actually is offering the first giveaway on one of their products!Try This at Home’s first giveaway showcases one of Leslie’s favorite products from Mighty Nest. It’s called a Spaghetti Scrub; this is an environmentally friendly sponge alternative. It’s a great product as it’s environmentally conscious, anti-bacterial, and doesn’t scratch your dishes! This sponge alternative is cost-effective and last up to six months. If you would like a Spaghetti Scrub, reach out on any of our social media platforms or on the website telling us, “I want a spaghetti scrubber!” We will put your name into a drawing for a free Spaghetti Scrub!A mega convenience for Leslyn is grocery delivery. Leslyn is an incredibly busy person and let’s face it, who actually likes to grocery shop? It can be one of the most frustrating things especially when you know you could be doing something more productive. Leslie and Leslyn offer a few services that could help alleviate this errand for you! Instacart cost $14.99 a month with a $30 minimum delivery fee. If you want a more cost-effective delivery service, Walmart offers a $10 a month subscription to have free delivery on every order at a $30 minimum.With all these great subscription services, Leslyn asks the tough question of which is the favorite of all the services in the episode. For Leslie, Mighty Nest is her favorite as it’s cheap and she has found many great products through their service. For Leslyn, food services are her favorite as it helps save her time and money! The biggest pro to these services is the convenience, as they free up time in your schedule and could possibly save you money in the long run.If you are interested in trying Hello Fresh, Leslyn has several coupons for $40 off a Hello Fresh Box—she is happy to give these away to the first few listeners to reach out on social media or the website, she just needs your email address! The Try This at Home of the week is to consider some of these subscription services that we have talked about today and if you’ve used them already, really assess the value that it brings to your life. Or, if you have never tried one before maybe think about trying one that you’re interested in!A few other great subscription services are mentioned in the episode, links can be found below!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: What is Normal?One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Stitch Fixwww.stichfix.com/Little Passportswww.littlepassports.com/Trunk Clubwww.trunkclub.com/Le Totewww.letote.com/Rent the Runwaywww.renttherunway.com/Hello Freshwww.hellofresh.com/Blue Apronwww.blueapron.com/Naked Wineswww.nakedwines.com/Mighty Nestwww.mightynest.com/Fab Fit Funwww.fabfitfun.com/Dollar Shave Clubwww.dollarshaveclub.com/Honest Boxwww.honest.com/Grove Collaborativewww.grove.co/Amazon Subscribe and Savehttps://www.amazon.com/b?ie=UTF8&node=15283820011Instacartwww.instacart.com/Walmart Groceryhttps://grocery.walmart.com/Spaghetti Scrub (Enter to Win in the Giveaway!)https://mightynest.com/shop/green-cleaning/household/dishwashing/spaghetti-scrub-set-of-2Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

What is Normal? Today’s episode centers around this complex question. Leslie and Leslyn begin their discussion considering topics such as: how to define normal, what is seen as the norm in society, and why there are so many problems with how we look at it today. Leslyn shares insights into the reasoning behind why we feel the need to have a normal outlined in our everyday life, how we are unknowingly connecting the word to value, and what we see as right and wrong. At the end of this episode, Leslie and Leslyn present a few questions to ponder yourself at Try This at Home! In this episode, we discuss…Introductions -- Is that Normal? [00:01]Show Intro [00:18]Start of the Podcast [01:04]Definition of Normal [01:52]Problems with the Changing “Normal” [03:46]Grieving Example [04:56]Education Example [07:00]Where the Crawdads Sing [09:18]When Values Comes Into Play [11:41]Second Definition of Normal [13:40]Fair and Normal [15:08]Share and Touch Base with Us! [15:54]Back to Fair [16:15]What is Normal to You? [16:42]The Comfort in Normal [17:51]The Ever-evolving Norm [19:39]The Value of the Abnormal [21:35]Being Abnormal isn’t Always Bad [22:51]Conforming to Society [24:05]Today’s Question [27:03]Closing Points [28:45]Episode Notes:Have you ever thought to yourself, “Is that Normal?” We all have been there and in today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn dive into what normal really is and the aspects surrounding such an idea. They begin today’s discussion with a definition of what the word means and come up with a correlated word that people usually use in describing their idea of normal: most. Leslie, states that normal is usually seen as numerous most. The biggest being, what do most people do in a certain situation, is that what normal is? Conversations about what the spectrum of normal is displayed as come up and for again, most, people and even social psychologist define normal using a bell curve.The base idea of a bell curve is a hill-shaped pattern that resembles a bell and is plotted with normal being defined as one or two standard deviations away from the mean. But this normal cannot be determined without the outliers those who would not fall in the umbrella of normal.Leslyn shares that in our culture, one of our fundamental human needs is to categorize. This drive is then exhibited as our need to categorize and label what depicts normal. But there is a problem with this. As they discuss more it is recognized that normal is perceived diversely by each individual. Leslyn points out that what we think is abnormal now, changes over time and could even be quite normal in different circumstances.An example they discuss is how people grieve. There is not one way to grieve, everyone grieves in an alternate way, and you cannot judge someone on how they grieve. Which brings them to question, is there a right or wrong way to grieve? Is there a right or wrong to normal? They run into the classification problem in determining if something is normal without the basis of right or wrong. Leslyn explains, we as humans are applying the sentiment of right or wrong to things when that’s not even the issue in the matter.The education example they discuss shows this we cannot put a right or wrong on benchmarks that our child is expected to hit at a certain age. It may be seen as normal for your child to hit a benchmark, but does it make it wrong if they do not by the expected time? Leslie believes not, as there can be a standard of normal without it being wrong. Leslyn adds that this “normal” is only that compared to a subset of a particular population.Leslyn decides to take this education example a step further by mentioning the book, “Where the Crawdads Sing” by Delia Owens [link below]. Where a girl is ultimately seen as an outlier and Leslyn poses the question, is this girl being an outlier and not falling into the idea of what a normal kid is, does that necessarily mean the girl is wrong? Again, Leslie states it’s not normal but it isn’t wrong, especially in comparison to something like murder.This is where the discussion turns as values have come into play. Leslyn explains, you must be very, very careful when you’re thinking about normal and our ability to apply judgement to such a thing. An alternative definition of normal is then proposed, what is normal for me?On the second half of the podcast, the differences in the norm pose two questions: what is normal for you and what’s normal for the population at large. Leslyn explains that what she thinks is at play on determining normalcy is that people with anxiety seek to establish a sense of emotional safety. The fear-based aspect causes us to rush to develop habits and acquire a sense of comfort.The talk of value is mentioned again this time on abnormal. Leslyn believes that there is value in the abnormal. It seems that the abnormal is vital as Leslyn continues as if we did not accept abnormal thinking, abnormal behavior, abnormal ideas then nothing would ever change because no one would step foot out of what is considered normal, or what everyone else is doing. If abnormal is not always wrong and can have value, does that mean the rules we live by loose meaning?Leslie mentions in the discussion how laws are just a construct and is seen as a normal way to behave in society. Leslyn shares her belief that if we live in a society and choose to participate in said society, we almost have an obligation to humanity to conform to certain ideals and laws that will benefit the society as a whole. In terms of this scenario, it seems logical to want to follow the norm and not be one of the outliers on the societal bell curve. Leading to the need for good reasoning and being aware to make it through this conundrum.Leslie and Leslyn summarize this discussion with a question, a burning question, of the week.They challenge their listeners to question what defines you and what is normal for you? Leslie and Leslyn encourage their listeners to take this home and think about it, what defines you?Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Friendship!One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Interested in reading, “Where the Crawdads Sing” by Delia Owens?https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36809135-where-the-crawdads-singInterested in reading, “Educated” by Tara Westover?https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35133922-educatedCan’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

In this episode, we discuss…Leslie and Leslyn start this episode of Try This at Home, discussing their oldest friendships to date. What is your longest friendship? They both thought that it was significant to see what the professionals had to say about friendship. Shasta Nelson, the author of Friendtamicy, is mentioned as Leslyn feels Shasta’s input really resonates deeply. “Friendship intimacy is where two people both feel seen in a safe and satisfying way.” Leslyn often sees how influential friendships can be in her practice more than anything else. People often want to know that their friend is there for them, that they feel validated, and have a safe place to talk and express their opinions.As Leslie points out, many of you may agree, she never really thinks of what friendship really is. It’s used so often that not much thought is truly put into what it really means. Leslie finds Shasta’s description of friendship very interesting. Leslie noted that being safe and being able to tell your friends something that is hard to hear is pivotal to a good relationship. Knowing that the relationship creates a safe space to communicate the hard things in life leads to being as authentic as you can be. Real, healthy friendships make room to be more genuine. Leslyn shares her own experience by stating that hearing something from a trusted friend that is hard to hear can be easier when you know it’s coming from a place of love and loving the other person in the relationship. Leslyn often says this to couples in practice.Shasta Nelson says that during research a lot of women said that their emotional needs were not being fulfilled. Women tend to accumulate many relationships through their life but only a select few provide a safe space for development. Many people tend to not develop the relationship to allow this safe space to occur and will eventually pull away from the other person. Leslie points out that this may be due to the human need for instant gratification. Social media makes us all so connected but not really connected, meaning it’s a lot of surface level connections. Leslyn follows this with an example. Say you have 240 Facebook “friends”, does this really mean you have 240 friends? Well no, in actuality this is more like about 10 close friends, 20 family members, and the rest being 210 acquaintances. People in those acquaintances perhaps have never reached that phase where a safe space can be created.If you truly sit back and think about friendships, what makes a good friendship? Leslyn feels that Dr. Suzanne Degges-White, a psychologist at Northern Illinois University lays it out best in her 13 qualities that she calls friendship quotients. The first quality is trustworthiness. Leslyn shares her personal experience with betrayal and realizing a friend is not trustworthy. As she continues, most people are not 100% transparent with their lives. There are things that people go to their friends for to be confidants in their lives. Holding the trust in these relationships are extremely important for a good friendship.True friendships should also hold honesty in high regard; being honest with your friend and honest about who you are. It may be difficult to be perfectly honest with people unless they’re close friends and that safe space has been established. Leslie thinks honesty is the hallmark of a good friendship Honesty can also be not saying something that you would like to say and not telling things you know are untrue.The third quality of a good friendship is dependability, which can be challenging. A common example of this would be following-through, you are going to do something you said you would. The complications that comes with this is applying the standard of how you treat others to how you want them to act towards you. Leslyn adds that reciprocity should not feel like you are keeping score in a relationship, instead it should be making sure you are not the only person in the relationship driving energy. Leslyn gives the example of not speaking to a friend for multiple months but then receiving a call that ends up being the friend wanting something and not actually about the friendship. The issue here is you should not do it under the premise of being a good friend if you have other intentions you should state them. Friendships need to be nurtured to thrive. Like a plant, if you do not water and report the plant as it grows it will die. And in terms of dependability Leslyn says, she doesn’t mind being the person to water it, but the other person must be the one to repot the plant!Something that goes hand-in-hand with honesty, Leslie says is loyalty. This would be things such as not speaking behind someone’s back and just being there when a person needs you. The desire in the relationship is being there.A trait in the list that Leslyn believes is critical to living a good life in general is being empathetic. It usually can be one of the first traits in a friendship and is when you lean on someone to help fix things, allowing you to connect on a deeper level of understanding. Leslie even shares that she had an issue with this in one of her friendships where it became hard to be empathetic when her friend was not reciprocating. Leslyn actually think it may be more in the fact of reciprocating engagement in the relationship. Relationships that become one sided and move away from shared values or ideas, will quickly become hard to sustain. There may no longer be a shared objective and it can be like giving from an empty well.The next two, Leslie and Leslyn think are closely associated being non-judgmental and a good listener. Leslyn explains that judging is a non-accepting element and to be non-judgmental you must accept despite the differences and acquire the ability not label something as good or bad. This associates with being a good listener as to be a good listener the key is to not judge the speaker.Being supportive of others in their good times and in their bad times is essential to a good friendship. Giving encouragement and lifting friends up builds the relationship between you and the other person. An example Leslie and Leslyn give is coming and helping to clean up when your friend is hosting a party. They end the list with things such as self-confidence which can cause you to be competitive. Having an ability to see humor in a situation can strengthen the relationship between you and another. Leslie and Leslyn share the last thing on the list, which is probably a given, but to be fun to be around helps your friendship!It seems important to notice that every individual will have varying degrees of these qualities. The goal here is to strive for a consistent level of these traits in your friendship. Try to be the best friend that you possibly can be. Leslie and Leslyn share another great quote by Shasta Nelson where she says, “If we keep saying something is important to us, but we do nothing about it then ultimately we lose both trust in ourselves and our own sense of integrity.” You should put energy into the things that you see as important and maybe call and let your friend know you’ve been thinking of them. It could be as simple as Leslie’s idea of sending a funny internet meme to let them know you have them on your mind! Concluding this discussion, thinking about your current friendships and these 13 essentials will allow you to build even better relationships with the ones you love.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Big Magic by Elizabeth GilbertOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Friendtamicy – Shasta Nelsonhttps://www.shastanelson.com/frientimacyThe 13 Essential Traits of Good Friends|Dr. Suzanne Degges-White, Ph. Dhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/201503/the-13-essential-traits-good-friendsSomebody That I Used to Know-Gotye (Mentioned in Dependability Discussion)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGYFriendship in Later Life: A Research Agendahttps://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6441127/Can’t Wait for next week’s Discussion?https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/24453082-big-magicCan’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

Elizabeth Gilbert first became a sensation with her book; Eat, Pray, Love that was on NY Times Bestseller list for fifty-seven consecutive weeks! In 2015, Gilbert released Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. Leslie and Leslyn both loved the book and sent it to their loved ones to read and ponder. In this episode, Leslie and Leslyn share what they loved about Big Magic and the great tips that they took away from the book. They start the discussion with speaking about Elizabeth Gilbert’s vision, or her interpretation of her own ideas. It’s a story that Leslie and Leslyn think will stick with you through Gilbert’s amazing mastery of words.The foundation of Big Magic is this: all ideas are seen to be out in the open, an idea will come to you or whomever will best bring it to its completion. Leslie explains, if you do not choose to nurture and love that idea, the idea will leave you and go to someone else who will. Leslyn likes to think of this as being like the Gulf Stream that goes around the planet. To Leslyn, these ideas work like an invisible Gulf Stream, that moves around the atmosphere and at random will drop down into your mind. People can relate to this vision in the way that we all experience having an idea that seems to come out of the blue. Leslie continues this by sharing J.K. Rowling’s experience of coming up with the idea for Harry Potter while she was riding a train. J.K. Rowling explains getting this idea as, “it fell into her head”. Leslie sees this idea that Elizabeth Gilbert laid out like the scene in Finding Nemo, when Nemo’s Dad is riding the turtle’s back in the Eastern Australian current.To understand Big Magic and the vision of the book, it’s important to have a good understanding of Elizabeth Gilbert’s fundamental belief about ideas. Gilbert believes that ideas float around and will be presented to you. If you do not nurture this idea, it will find a home somewhere else. Leslyn explains this in a scenario often seen in the entrepreneur’s world. Ten people will wake up with a similar idea, six of those people will do absolutely nothing about, three will sit back and at least think about the idea, but only one will actually do something with the idea. In Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert gives a real-life personal experience she had with this belief. She speaks about an idea that left her and went to one of her friends who is also an author. Gilbert had developed an idea for a book but had to put this idea away because as life happens, her focus was needed somewhere else. Well over a year goes by before Elizabeth Gilbert is able to focus on this idea again. Gilbert finds out that the idea is gone, no longer residing with her. Elizabeth Gilbert goes to a conference where she talks with another author, Ann Patchett, who describes the project that Gilbert was working on almost exactly. Even more wild about the story, the two authors work out that around the same time that Elizabeth Gilbert had put the project away for later, Ann Patchett had started working on the same idea!Leslyn explains that this could be like simultaneous invention, which is when two people, that are unrelated, get the same idea around the same time. Leslie points out that this simultaneous invention, happens often in academia and you can easily get “scooped” by another person as the idea’s creator becomes the person who finishes it first. Leslyn, after reading Big Magic, shares she had a whole different sensation about the ideas that would pop into her head. As ideas pop into people’s head all the time, many people will get an idea and think that they couldn’t possibly go through with it. Leslie, as an entrepreneur, at some point decided that one of her ideas was something she could execute and ran with it. Leslie likes to think that falling into that line of work happened to her, not that she chose it. The CEO of Stitch Fix, Katrina Lake, also thinks this way as she didn’t make the decision to have a clothing company, it came to her in a multitude of things and she just followed that current.Leslyn continues the discussion by sharing a quote from Big Magic, “My fear always made predictively boring decisions.” Leslyn goes on to say that every single person has a creative element in their spirit, but this fear often holds people back from engaging in it. Leslie shares she often talks herself out of her ideas because she experiences fear in not being perfect. Elizabeth Gilbert says that you should only go through with an idea for the love of doing it not because it’s going to be perfect. A good enough novel, that is violently written right now, will always be better than a perfect novel, that is meticulously written never. Leslyn believes that fear and creativity need to both be present in our lives, but fear need to be strapped in the backseat, it cannot be the driver. This idea of perfectionism cannot stop you from doing, as perfect can quickly become the enemy of finishing or even doing something at all.This fear should not stop you from doing, Leslyn says that you are going to fail some things but that is the first step of seeing growth in something. Leslie shares experiences with her children in feeling the need to be perfect and in the phrase, “I can’t.” Leslie says the kicker with this is: parents never expect their kids to know something out of the gate. Parents expect their kids to fail, make mistakes, and learn. Parents can be very forgiving of these things in their children, but often are not forgiving of their own actions. We do not have that open mentality of allowing ourselves to also fail, learn, and eventually figure it out. The role of failure can play a big role in how creative we are. Leslyn shares another quote from Big Magic, about how it is important for us to forgive ourselves for failure. You have to find it in yourself to say it’s alright to fail. Elizabeth Gilbert sees this as we’re nothing but beginners. Even if you have fifty years of experience in a craft, you are still a beginner and always will be a beginner, as perfectionism, the idea of being simply perfect, never ever can exist. This role of failure can prevent you from doing a lot of things in your life, if you let it. Finding the value in the nuances of success is vital. Leslyn shares that courage comes to play in the idea of success. You must have the courage to fail, but also the courage to succeed in whatever it is you are doing.Leslie quotes Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic by stating, “One of the oldest and most generous tricks that the universe plays on human beings, is to bury strange jewels within us all, and then standing back to see if we can ever find them.” Leslie finds this to be an interesting way to look at ideas, it’s a very freeing attitude to think that an idea and the capability is already within yourself, you just have to find it. Leslie shares that even in her own company, she feels the immense pressure to be different and to do something that hasn’t been done before. In reality, it seems that almost everything has already been done, so she changed her mentality. If you interpret an idea that you think might have been done, and you do it in your own unique way, it will turn into something different. Leslie and Leslyn further explain this by giving the example of a musician covering a song. A musician covering another musician’s song can give a completely different feel to the same lyrics. This is because completely different creative energies are being placed into the words. We as people, do not have the same experiences, talent, or abilities as someone else. Meaning if we complete an idea, put the energy into that concept, our own version of that thing will emerge. Leslyn emphasizes that this is something that truly should be embraced in life.This week’s Try This at Home, is to really think about where you experience creativity in your own life. If you are one to hesitate because of fear, think of what you are truly fearing in partaking in that particular action. If you think you are not creative, we hope this episode has shown that we all have the ability to be creative. Creativity is defined so broadly and plays a big contribution to a life well lived! Leslyn and Leslie end this episode encouraging you, the listener, to read Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Social Media!One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magichttps://www.goodreads.com/book/show/24453082-big-magicBig Magic Audible Linkhttps://www.audible.com/ep/title/?asin=B00U0CAEB8&source_code=GO1GBSH09091690EK&device=d&ds_rl=1262685&ds_rl=1263561&cvosrc=ppc.google.big%20magic%20audiobook&cvo_campaign=250472169&cvo_crid=260135447937&Matchtype=e&gclid=CjwKCAjwgbLzBRBsEiwAXVIygL4HJJmxp73afPLTrNyUJW88KrnvKVfWqvWoVLJ7y7xF1QYun1UxAhoClJsQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.dsFinding Nemo’s Turtle Scenehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FNHtNEshk8Ann Patchett’s Bel Cantohttps://www.goodreads.com/book/show/5826.Bel_CantoKonmari Methodhttps://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/jan/14/how-to-declutter-your-life-marie-kondo-spark-joyStitch Fix Founder, Katrina Lake, Code 2018 Interviewhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_S-VTy2cWf8Kygo & Whitney Houston’s Higher Lovehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JR49dyo-y0ESteve Winwood’s Higher Lovehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9olaIio3l8Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trythisathomepodcast/?hl=enFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/TTAHPodcast/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Stitcher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

The episode begins with Leslie sharing her own love/hate relationship with social media, especially when it comes to her businesses. Managing a business social media can be frustrating specifically with the constant struggle of trying to stay in the confines of the platform’s algorithm. Leslie shares how her planner business has nineteen thousand followers, but her posts are only being shown to about a thousand of them! The day-to-day social media use can also bring conflicting emotions, Leslie shares that the average digital consumer spends about two and a half hours per day on social media!Leslie shares some of her experiences with the various social media platforms that are sparking her children’s interest and also her oldest child’s desire for his own cell phone. Leslyn points out that there is always something that is going to be distracting to children and today’s is the vast options that the Internet provides. This does not undermine the fact that there seems to be strong correlations to social media and electronic addictions, which Leslie and Leslyn plan to discuss in more detail in a future episode.Most people who think of the Internet’s impact would say that they think it is more of a positive because of its ability to connect people. Leslyn gives the example of being able to connect with cousins that she would know nothing about otherwise, as they live on the opposite side of the country. Leslie on the flip side states that the more she thinks critically about these social media connections, the more she wonders. She wonders why she feels the need to be connected to people she has not seen or spoke to since high school. Leslyn believes this could be up to voyeurism and compares Leslie’s example to feeling the same way about the people who sit and watch to see what their neighbors are up to. The reason that you want to be friends with a person on social media is because people love to watch people, and the curiosity of knowing about a vague connection in your life is what social media counts on! Leslyn continues this by comparing it to going to a class reunion. People often go to class reunions not only to catch up but to compare and observe others we are vaguely connected to.We do this because as humans, we have a fundamental instinct to be curious. Leslie shares that the major reason she hired someone to manage her businesses’ social medias was because of social medias drive to comparisons, she feels, personally, that this is one of the single biggest drawbacks. Leslie found herself comparing her work to others in both good and bad ways. This was an attitude that she did not want to have as it either made her feel horrible or gave her this sense of superiority that she did not appreciate or want in herself.Leslyn on the other hand, does not share those similar feelings. Leslyn shares that she has a personal Facebook page that she does not connect with clients on, which is part of creating good psychological boundaries. Leslyn also has two public pages one for her counseling practice and the other as she’s an author. She is incredibly particular about what she allows others to see of her in a public setting as this is vastly different from what her friends see. Leslie also shares some of these techniques, as she has a personal social media page and her businesses’ pages. For Leslie, she feels that the multiple different roles she plays in life complicate and make it tricky to run individual social media pages.With the use of social media, there is something to be said about posting in a way that reflects your most authentic self, whatever that may be, and giving people the ability to interact with little to no pretense. Leslyn shares this is crucial in her work as she wants her future clients to have a perception of her as a blank slate which helps in a psychotherapy setting. Leslie asks what Leslyn sees most in her practice related to social media. Leslyn answers that she sees issues with connectivity the most in her practice. Connecting to the people outside of your everyday life, can cause a significant disconnect between you and those closest to you. Leslyn hears so often with couples that one or even both members of the relationship wish that their partner would talk to them the same amount as they spend texting or talking on social media. The solution Leslyn often gives is to create a no phone zone.A no phone zone is vital in a world where we walk around with handheld computers as a part of our everyday life. By spending too much time on electronics you can risk disconnecting from those important people in your life. Leslie mentions her example from earlier of being friends on social media with someone that she has not talked to in almost twenty years. Leslie continues by saying she could be using the time she sits and catches up on someone else’s life to be strengthening connections with her husband by communicating or even taking her children to do something fun.Leslyn conveys the following, when we are more concerned about what transpired in the day of a social media friend than we are with what transpired in the day of one of our family members, then we are moving in the wrong direction. It’s a mindless habit that can be incredibly hard to break but slow transitions such as no phones at the dinner table could help! Confiding in your loved ones instead of your phone can positively impact the connection you have with someone you love. Leslyn shares that some ways to connect with those loved ones could be not having a television in the bedroom or making the living room a no phone zone. Even investing in a Google Home, or similar product, that can allow you to still reach out to the Internet while staying connected to those around you can support this bond.Leslyn believes that it is important to understand, from a healthy, emotional perspective, the importance of using social media to connect with the outside world and when is the right time to set it aside to connect with your inside world. Social media should have the second-place spot in your life. Leslie and Leslyn both hope that you, the listener, observe your connections and examine where setting limits may be beneficial. Today’s Try This at Home is to try any of these ideas to boost connectivity in your life. You could do this by creating your own no phone zone, taking the television out of your bedroom (or at least your phones) and to pay attention to how you are connecting inside your homes. Give social media it’s place for the outside world and see how you can make differences to better strengthen the connection with those you hold dear.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Human ConnectionOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Episode #206 on The Making of Friendshiphttps://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/3/9/206-the-making-of-friendshipLeslie’s Limelife Plannershttps://www.limelifeplanners.com/Leslyn’s practice Harmony Counselinghttps://www.westgrovetherapy.com/TTAH’s Healthy Boundary Worksheethttps://drive.google.com/file/d/19fldBcNTIr4HoOTojHzCfGuXEHtHTFxy/view?usp=sharingPsychology Today | 20 Ways to Be a More Authentic Personhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201904/develop-authenticity-20-ways-be-more-authentic-personNY Times | 5 No Phone Zones for Parents and Kids Alikehttps://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/23/well/family/5-no-phone-zones-for-parents-and-kids-alike.htmlCan’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

Taking a moment to put the regularly scheduled episodes on hold, Leslie and Leslyn spend this week’s discussion on what everyone has been thinking about. The COVID-19 Global Pandemic. It’s a crazy time that is filled with a lot of anxiety, fear, grief, and uncertainty. Leslie and Leslyn wanted to dive into these feelings that surround the major event that must be addressed.As the new norm of totally drastic changes, there will be feelings of uncertainty. Leslyn wanted to share a webinar she recorded this week that focuses on how to manage the stress in all this uncertainty. On top of our everyday anxieties, now we are faced with anxiety that is unprecedented and we have nothing to compare or draw from to ease these worries.This is why it’s critical in this time to give people grace. Remember, that everyone is doing the best that they can in this time. Make sure you are communicating your love and appreciation for those around you.Leslie and Leslyn discuss wanting to stay productive during this time but realize the need for some downtime. It’s important to remember, there is no wrong or right way to be using this time. As long as you are staying safe and following current medical advice! Some might find themselves feeling like everything in the world is fine but then having elevated stress levels watching or reading the news. Leslyn recommends people pay close attention to what stress does physiologically to their own bodies and notice when you feel moments of increased anxiety.Leslie offers the recommendation to take this time to find a way that you can personally better the situation/ Leslie gives the example of spending a day creating a space for her boys to relax and play was well worth the work it took. Leslyn shares that you can be creative and think outside the box to find a solution to a problem that pops up in your life.This situation has derailed many of us from our steady travel of life. There is a lot of fear right now. From people losing planned events, not being able to attend their high school graduation, and even losing a loved one. Leslyn shares that there are different intensities to grief. Grief is experiencing a loss. Leslyn gives the advice to let yourself feel the grief reaction that you are having. But then, put that grief reaction into perspective to how bad it could be.Leslyn mentions last week’s topic on social media and connection. It’s fascinating at a time when our culture, and humanity at large, is so disconnected that there is this worldwide situation that seems to bring some of the best in us and forces us to connect in a way that many have thought were lost. Next week, Leslie and Leslyn would like to continue this topic’s focus but on the good aspects!Next week, Leslie and Leslyn are focusing on all the good things that can or have come from this very negative experience. If there are any stories you would like to see us cover, please let us know!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Focusing on the Good in a Terrible Situation!One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Leslyn’s Webinar Can Be Found Here!https://www.facebook.com/pg/ThisIsLeslyn/posts/?ref=page_internalEpisode #207 on Big Magichttps://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/3/15/207-big-magic-a-discussion-about-the-book-amp-creativityHBR | The Discomfort You’re Feeling is Griefhttps://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-griefABC News | Venice Canals Clearinghttps://abcnews.go.com/International/venice-canals-clear-fish-coronavirus-halts-tourism-city/story?id=69662690Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

Leslie and Leslyn spend this week’s discussion bringing the listeners some good stories that have arose in these concerning times. Last week, discussions of offering grace to others and the stress relief during this time were given. This week, Leslie and Leslyn felt it was much needed to bring some of the positive aspects, as we remember that we are all just doing the best that we can right now.The episode begins with Leslie and Leslyn sharing a clip to illustrate the ability to choose to look for the good in a situation. It’s important to learn how to choose what you focus on. An analogy that Leslyn gives is like looking out two separate windows. One shows a beautiful, welcoming park while the other window shows a smelly, unpleasant dump. With these two windows, you choose which window you would like to see the world through.Leslie and Leslyn discuss a number of celebrities that have stepped up to help in relief efforts. They mention many famous names such as Oprah and how she has donated over $10 million dollars to help the efforts. In this time of need, many companies have also come to offer relief in forms of donations or CEO’s forgoing their salaries to help their employees. A major company mentioned is Comcast’s CEO who is forgoing his salary as well as donating $500 million to an employee relief fund.Celebrities and Companies are not the only people stepping up in this time of need. Everyday people also are offering their grace and compassion to their communities. In forms such as offering free food to those who need it, tipping their food service workers greatly, and leaving affirming positive messages for others to see.Leslie and Leslyn share the impact as well that the pandemic has had on students, their teachers, and the parents. With many schools deciding to hold classes remotely a lot of the responsibility has fallen on the parents. Striving to support the children’s teacher in helping them do their absolute best in continuing their cause shows the appreciation and respect you have for them.In the wake of this event, the workers that many sadly take for granted are gaining more respect and appreciation. Positions such as cashiers, sanitation workers, and food service/delivery workers have always deserved respect and it has taken this event for some to realize how valuable these positions are to society.This week’s Try This at Home, is to try to focus on some of the good news or acts that are out there. Try to remember that most people are amazingly resilient, and we are going to get through this! Next week, Leslie and Leslyn continue to focus on pandemic life as it continues to be part of our daily life.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Pandemic LifeOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Leslyn’s Webinar Can Be Found Here!https://www.facebook.com/pg/ThisIsLeslyn/posts/?ref=page_internalEpisode #209 on Discussing Pandemic Life & Gracehttps://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/3/27/209-discussing-pandemic-life-amp-graceCan’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

Leslie and Leslyn start today’s discussion reflecting on last week’s topic of social media and how it can play a big role in today’s human connections. You may ask yourself, why is social media so enticing? Why is there an addiction and what’s so great about it? The simple answer is connection. Leslyn compares it to why people love reality television. It’s real people, living lives that we feel we can relate to and in turn have a sense of connection.They start the discussion of human connection with a quote from Dr. Matthew Leberman’s TEDx talk, Social Brain and Its Superpowers. Dr. Leberman shares that if you are a mammal, the thing you need most to survive is a social connection. As mammals, we are immature and incapable of taking care of ourselves when we are born. Someone has to have the urge and connection to be motivated to take care of us until we can do so ourselves. The point Leslyn want you to take away from this is that you must understand that connection is hardwired into our brain. Mammals require connection to survive.Leslyn continues on the importance of social connection by sharing a study on social pain.According to studies, on an MRI scan, social pain and the pain of rejection specifically, activates the exact same part of the brain that is also activated when physical pain is felt! Leslyn poses to Leslie, what does this absence of connection mean? For Leslie, and many others, they would define this as being lonely. Loneliness can often be temporary but is more frequent. Especially in this time in history, in the last fifty years, the rate of loneliness has more than doubled just in the United States.Would you be surprised to learn that 1 in 4 Americans feel that they are rarely understood? How about, that 1 in 5 Americans almost never feel or rarely feel like they are emotionally close to somebody. It is a sad reality of today’s world. Leslie speaks to the fact that most connections we have on social media or technology in general often can be superficial. This makes it pivotal to redefine what a meaningful connection is.Leslie and Leslyn review their discussion of last week on how close you are really to your Facebook friends. Leslyn feels that we as society are no longer defining connections in a meaningful way. Leslie asks if there is a cause for this disconnect. For Leslyn, she thinks the shift in the definition and the understanding of what it means to be connected is where we lose the significance. The definition of what connected is has shifted but our brains have not shifted with it. Our brain indicates a connection, an emotional survival construct, in places where meaningful connection is not. Often, where we may feel connection, in actuality the engagement is superficial leaving us feeling unfulfilled.Another big piece of losing out on human connection can be found in mismanaging our time. Leslyn point out that there is a tendency to think that things we are experiencing have never been experienced before. There is always going to be a distraction out there. The idea that you must take from this is that anything else taking you attention away from connecting in a relationship is going to cause problems. Leslie poses the question; how do we make sure we are having deeper connections?A way Leslyn shares you can engage in deeper connection is by actively loving. This type of love can be displayed in different ways for different people. Another way to deepen your connections is to communicate consciously. Take a few moments to think before you speak and try to be intentional in what you are saying. It goes without saying that being present and really focusing on the other person is key in connecting on a different level as you will make the other person feel important and heard. In that, you also have to learn and establish boundaries. The last aspect of engaging in deeper connections is to always be authentic. To have a legitimate connection with another you must be authentic.Today’s Try This at Home involves you getting out of your comfort zone! Try connecting with others, talk to a stranger, or even inviting your neighbor over. Try to make an effort to go beyond the superficial and work on developing deep connections with one another.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Passive PermissionOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Episode #19 on Listening Like a Champ https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/6/3/19-listening-like-a-champEpisode #14 on 8 Rules for Better Communicationhttps://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/21/8-rules-for-better-communicationTEDx | The Social Brain and Its Superpowers: Matthew Liberman, Ph.D.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNhk3owF7RQPsychology Today | Is Social Pain Real Pain?https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/neuroscience-in-everyday-life/201704/is-social-pain-real-painWBUR | Former Surgeon General on Why Loneliness is a Public Health Crisishttps://www.wbur.org/onpoint/2020/03/23/vivek-murthy-lonelinessCan’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

Coming back to our regularly scheduled episodes, Leslie and Leslyn discuss the provocative question that arises when we decide NOT to act on a situation or behavior we disagree with. Essentially, by not acting, we are giving our permission for the situation or behavior to continue to exist. Our inaction in the situation becomes a passive way of permitting the situation.Consider this example, you go out to dinner and your waitress gave well... a kind of lousy service. If we were to leave a tip even though our service was subpar, is that giving the person little to no motivation to improve? Or maybe she is having a rough day and that’s why her service is suffering? Leslie and Leslyn question this example and how muddy passive permission can get.If you can imagine, someone can be doing something or acting in a way that is offensive or just negative to another. Without confronting this behavior in some way, we are indirectly allowing it to continue.Leslie and Leslyn continue their discussion by giving a number of examples on how passive permission can play out in everyday life. This leads to the big question, when is it our business to get involved? As an individualistic society, we have come to value our “rights” being different, to be “free”. Could this offensive behavior go as far as someone using their civil liberty? Is it just a stylistic difference in how each individual approaches the situation? With this grey area it can be hard to tell where to draw the line. How and when are we to get involved in order to combat this idea as okay to continue.Looking at our legal system, you can see that there are some things that are consequential without question. We have laws that protect our right to freedom of speech; allowing people to believe they can say whatever they want. We also have laws on more sinister things like abuse; where protections are placed on people being abused. We even have laws about burning flags, trespassing, and disorderly conduct. But, is that really enough?Better yet, is it too much? Where is the line between personal freedom and permission to insult?As Leslie and Leslyn discover throughout the episode, there is not a hardline answer or observation in this discussion. Rather, there are a multitude of ideas that are intended to help you, the listener, think carefully about the issues. We hope that this generates some discussion so that as a society, we can be more conscious of when we are passively violating our individual value system and giving others permission to be insulting, disrespectful, or disruptive.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Pandemic LIfe; Civil Liberties vs. Public Health & SafetyOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Last Week’s Episode #211 Our Need to Connect:[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/4/14/211-our-need-to-connect-the-human-experience]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

We’re living in a time like no other. Many of the issues raised by the Covid-19 pandemic are pushing boundaries we’ve taken for granted. Leslie and Leslyn share a clip from a number of protests from people who are voicing their opinion on being able to go back to work and how they feel forced to stay home by the government. What is common among these protests is the opinion of civil liberties being infringed on. But what really is a civil liberty?It’s described as a “state of being subject only to laws established by the good of the community, especially in regard to freedom of action and speech.” Another definition defines it as “individual rights protected by law by unjust governmental or other interference.” Leslyn shares that as an American, she really understands the importance of civil liberties. It’s thought to be what sets us apart from other parts of the world. The Constitution protects Americans right to free speech and right to assembly.Where is the line? You may be wondering, where does my desire to feel safe and be healthy, cross someone else’s “liberty” to not take the same precautions? Leslie and Leslyn both feel that the government is trying to do what is best for the people and the best way to keep people safe. It is an unprecedented event that we are globally experiencing together. There has never been a global economy such as the one we have today with the amount of communication that we have at our fingertips. Many will try to compare what we are experiencing to the Spanish Flu. Leslyn points out that this is something we have never experienced before. The Spanish Flu was in 1918 where for example you would not be getting on an airplane for a 2-week Italian holiday.Leslie and Leslyn share some of the quotes from the protestors of the stay at home orders throughout the United States. The one that stands out the most is, “I have a right to work” Leslie and Leslyn debate if there really is a right to work. Giving examples such as you have the right to engage in some income, but you are not given the right to a job. Leslyn points out that if there are no openings then you do not have a right to work.Civil Liberties include your right to freedom of speech, religion, press, assembly, and partition of the government. That is the cornerstone of our democracy. Neither Leslie or Leslyn can understand where these are being violated by staying home for your health and for those you come into contact with. Leslyn gives the example of having the right to bear arms but you still need a gun permit to carry.Leslyn stresses the importance of being aware of who you are voting for. With how things are going, people should get more involved and try to become active participants in the government. Leslyn urges you to sign up for absentee voting in your state to be able to vote and make your voice heard!Leslyn points out something in the protestor rhetoric that is important to understand. Every time you hear a quote from the protests you hear a lot of I sentences. “I want a haircut.” “I want to be able to work.” “I have the right”. This reminds Leslyn of the psychological distinction between hedonistic pursuits and eudemonic pursuits. Hedonistic pursuits focus on the individual and an immediate reward. While others who are wanting what is best for themselves and the greater good of mankind usually are sharing a lot of we sentences. “We will get through this.” “We are in this together”. Eudemonic is when you are looking out for the greater good of mankind.This week’s try this at home is to sit back and think about how you want to be perceived. Do you want to be perceived as mature, evolved thinker who cares about the greater good of humanity? Leslyn also urges you to register to vote and look at your options with absentee voting!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Last Week’s Episode #212 Passive Permission – What Is It?[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/3/15/210-passive-permission-what-is-it]Register for an Absentee Ballot![https://www.vote.org/absentee-ballot/]Absentee Ballot Rules by State[https://www.vote.org/absentee-voting-rules/]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

A theme of this show is often to discuss why people behave and/or think the way that they do.Leslie and Leslyn share their interest in learning why people would buy into ideas that seem to fall far outside what is considered within the “norm”. The Covid-19 pandemic has generated a number of theories that have since grown into full-blown conspiracy theories. Leslie and Leslyn explain how these conspiracy theories facilitate in finding a reason for the global pandemic.After reviewing several different ideas that have gained societal momentum, Leslie and Leslyn question the viability of said ideas. Leslie and Leslyn suggest that perhaps we just read too many spy novels or scripted television that may be activating our imagination.The big question of these theories is ‘why’? Why do people fall prey to the theories that tend to be unimaginable? Perhaps, as Leslyn points out, there is a need to believe in something that is actually fundamentally hardwired into our brain. Leslie and Leslyn share a news clip by a professor in Amsterdam who reiterates the underlying need we have as humans to expect the worse in order to achieve survival.It seems that ‘trust’ is a dominant force in this. More precisely, a ‘dis’trust of the status quo. This explanation explains why many people who believe in conspiracy theories are quite intellectual. The common thread within these intelligent circles is another human need- the desire to explain. In the absence of concrete evidence, people will often lean toward the explanation that aligns with their core beliefs, that again goes back to people’s trust levels.Leslie and Leslyn explain the term ‘confirmation bias’ and the algorithms that seem to guide our technological life. These things play a vital role in how our information is perceived.To combat this potentially irrational position, Leslie and Leslyn recommend gathering data from as many reliable sources as possible and making one’s assessments from that variety. The dangers of taking in only one perspective and basing it off just your thoughts is akin to jumping off a cliff just because that’s what all your friends are doing!The main take-away from this episode is that conspiracy theories need energy and momentum to thrive. You can combat these theories by becoming more informed and using your critical thinking skills to formulate a well researched explanation. Leslie and Leslyn recommend sitting back, collecting information, and making a skilled decision from that point of view!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Back to School!One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Trailer | Inside Bill’s Brain: Decoding Bill Gates[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCv29JKmHNY]Time | Here’s Why People Believe in Conspiracy Theories[https://time.com/3997033/conspiracy-theories/]Psychology Today | Why Do People Believe in Conspiracy Theories[https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-apes/201801/why-do-people-believe-in-conspiracy-theories]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

In today’s episode, Leslie turns to Leslyn for advice on going back to school. Like so many women, Leslie did not finish the level of education she aspired to when she finished high school. Now, with a happy, established life, Leslie contemplates going back to school. This decision can bring up a lot of questions and even spark fear in some. Leslie uses this episode to interview Leslyn about her personal experience with a non-traditional college experience.Leslyn started her school journey right out of high school where she went to college for five years. She did not follow the traditional route at her local four-year institution. Instead, sitting five years in, Leslyn had changed her major three times and still did not have her degree. Leslyn eventually dropped out as she had met her first husband and wanted to start her life.Leslie also shares her experience with college. Leslie was a straight A student who continued on to go to a school of journalism. Leslie worker her way through her first year but was unable to afford the tuition bills. Leslie was overworked and could not focus on her studies and so she left school. With meeting her husband, who was finishing up his degrees, she then was faced with having to move with her now husband to continue his studies. Leslie tried a few times throughout her life to go back but it never fit. Now, Leslie want to go back for herself.Leslyn continues her interview explaining that before going back to school she was a successful financial advisor. This changed when Leslyn went through a divorce and realized that she did not love the industry she was in. In the middle of her self-exploration, Leslyn wanted to continue her career for herself. She found her calling in psychology as she knew she wanted to be in a space that helped other people.A non-traditional student is usually someone who is older than twenty-three who is wanting to continue their education. Leslyn explains her experience with being a non-traditional student and how this determined how serious she wanted to be while getting her degree. Leslyn shares that the first time going to college she was in academic probation. As a non-traditional student Leslyn graduated with a bachelors at a 3.96 GPA!Leslie and Leslyn reflect on being a non-traditional student and how this can change the perspective of education entirely. Education can be a very liberating and affirming experience. Leslyn shares with the worries of going back to school there is no rush to be a full-time student. Even testing the waters and taking one college course can be incredibly beneficial. Any time spent learning is not wasted time. That one class could possibly ignite a passion in oneself and lead you to take another and another.Leslyn finishes with the confirmation that the fears of going back to school may feel daunting but there is nothing that Leslyn regrets about going back to school. For women, Leslyn explains, college can be very empowering and allow us to be self-supported. The moral of the episode is to not be afraid of trying something new. It can truly broaden your horizons and even set examples for the future generation. Leslyn also adds if you are to try something go at it with full force and give it your best efforts. Learning will never be something that causes a disadvantage.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Zencastr | Remote Studio Quality Recording[https://zencastr.com/]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

In this episode, we discuss…Show Intro [0:03]Introductions—Truths [0:14]Start of the Podcast [0:48]Managing Pandemic Life [1:35]Relevance of a Heavy Topic [3:05]Daring to Know [3:59]What is Relativism? [4:27]Setting the Stage [6:19]The Truth Condition [8:06]Difficulty of Finding Objective Truth [9:54]The World is at Your Fingertips [10:57]Observing How People Receive Information [11:51]The Importance of Fact Checking [14:02]Confirmation Bias [15:23]Getting a Well-Rounded Picture [16:27]The Need to Hear Both Sides [18:12]Share and Touch Base with Us! [18:57]Making a Well-Informed Decision [19:20]Flat Earth’s “Truth” [22:50]Negative Consequences of False Information [24:24]Rationalizing Our Own Biases [26:20]Admitting When You Are Wrong [27:14]Improving Your World View [28:58]Daring to Know [32:02]Willing to Risk [32:41]Being Open to Facts [33:50]Lookout for More and More Facts [34:58]Try This at Home! [35:41]Closing Thoughts [36:42]Outro [38:30]Episode Notes:How do we determine what is true and what is not? It’s not always as black and white like one may imagine Leslyn begins. Leslie adds that it is relevant in the time that we are living in to look at truth, especially as interesting information is being shared on social media nonstop these days. Starting out with a clip on daring to know, you learn you have to risk the possibility of being wrong. What you want and what is true are two very different things. This is where the saying “Your truth is your truth and my truth is mine” comes into play.Relativism. The idea that truth is relative to your experience and your experience only. Leslie shares an example that on has been on social media recently with the pandemic. We are not all in the same boat. People originally had the belief that we were all in the same boat with this crisis. We all are experiencing the same global crisis, that is a truth. Relativism comes in when you add that we are not all in the same boat because all of our circumstances are different.The goal is to objectively be seeking what is true. To do that, Leslie and Leslyn turn to TedTalk with Michael Patrick Lynch titled, “How to see past your own perspective and find truth.”. They also pull from the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy’s, “The Analysis of Knowledge” which can help describe the truth condition. Truth to most is seen based on a belief condition where you only know what you believe.Leslie continues the discussion by sharing Oxford Dictionaries word of the year in 2016: post-truth. A post-truth is defined as relating or denoting to circumstances in which objective facts are less influential in shaping public opinion than appeals to emotion and personal belief. These days the world is at our fingertips and easily accessible. Leslyn shares this is where you should key into the idea of objective truth. What are the facts and what do they look like before you add in your opinions and beliefs?Leslie shares that it has been interesting to observe how people receive information mostly through social media. The idea of what is being presented usually before even opening the article you can tell which way it leans. Leslie shares an example of a trailer that has been going around on her feed that was almost all information that was easily fact-checkable, but nobody seemed to fact check before posting the trailer.In reality, many people do not take the time to fact check and it can become easy to feed into your own biases. Facebook actually banks on this as the algorithms are designed to feed us what we want to see. By feeding your biases you are straying farther away from the subjective truth that is prevalent in our culture. When you do this, you are not getting a well-rounded picture. It’s incredibly important to be open to both sides to make a well-informed decision.Leslie and Leslyn continue by sharing another clip on the skepticism of truth that can be tempting as it allows us to rationalize our own biases. Being right all the time feels good and admitting when you are wrong can be hard. Leslyn explains, when we hear the truth and we are skeptical of it we have to be open to the possibility of what we want being wrong. You have to be willing to make that risk.Leslie and Leslyn want to leave with the point that we all must be open to facts. A fact is a reality that cannot be logically disputed or rejected. If the fact doesn’t fit into your worldview you cannot just ignore it. Instead, it should actually be the driver to finding more and more facts. This week’s try this at home is to check news sources that you normally would not watch. Try to find three different angles of the same news items and look for other perspectives and reflect on how that changes how you are interpreting that information.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Financial Management – The BasicsOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:TedTalk | How to See Past Your Own Perspectives and Find Truth- Michael Patrick Lynch[https://www.ted.com/talks/michael_patrick_lynch_how_to_see_past_your_own_perspective_and_find_truth/up-next?language=en]Standford Encyclopedia of Philosophy | The Analysis of Knowledge[https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/knowledge-analysis/]Snopes | Independent Fact-Checking Site[https://www.snopes.com/]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

Leslie and Leslyn both can identify as being perfectionist. Leslyn shares that she has had a long list of projects that are still waiting for her to come back to. Leslie admits that being a perfectionist can something be ridiculous. She uses the example of her best friend who is super talented at scrapbooking. Leslie’s perfectionism used to hinder her from even attempting to scrapbook as she was scared that her pages would never be as good as her friends. This brings the important realization that nobody’s perfect.Leslie shares that many people mistakenly perceive progress as perfection. In the book Finish by Jon Acuff, there is a clear and practical method on how to move forward. Leslie urges that this book is incredibly valuable for those who have projects that haven’t been finished or even that you haven’t even started.You can start with the first point Leslie shares which is to cut your goals in half. The planning fallacy says that we are really optimistic when we are looking towards our future events. This can make us underestimate how long they will actually take to finish. Reflecting on the task at hand and cutting the goal into smaller pieces can be extremely beneficial to seeing its success.Leslie continues that we should choose what to bomb. Often times we attempt to take on more than we can handle or humanly get done. This can cause us to fail and fear the eventual failure. Jon Acuff suggest choosing what to bomb and decide to succeed at the goals that truly matter. For Jon, he decided to bomb his emails. He feels that he cannot be a good respondent and write of emails while also keeping up with everything else in his life. By deciding not to be good at responding to emails, he is choosing what he is failing at to let him succeed in the more important aspects of his life.By making something fun you can get it done. If something is completely miserable to do, you are not going to want to do it or even attempt it. Leslie gives the example of teaching her son to do his laundry through fun side activities. She explains that if he watches on of his favorite shows while also folding his laundry it will be a much more enjoyable experience. Podcasts, tv shows, and audio books are great ways to facilitate in making a task more enjoyable.Jon Acuff shares the idea of noble obstacles. It’s defined as being something on the outside looks really, really good but can actually prevent you from finishing it in the end. In the book, Jon gives the example of cleaning out his garage. Before cleaning and reorganizing a garage, many people will want to have a garage sale to clean up some of the things they do not need anymore. To have a garage sale, you need to have good weather, stickers to sell items, and maybe even advertising the sale’s location, date, and time. So, a task that starts out as something so good can quickly prevent you from finishing it as you say you don’t have time to do all of this right now and so you end up not even cleaning the garage.When looking at the future, you may realize that you often think that what is coming next in your life is so much more interesting than what is actually in the now. Leslie shares that often at work she will start to get inspired or formulate new ideas when she has only about 10% of something to finish. It’s so tempting to just start the new thing. Jon Acuff suggest using that new idea as a motivator to finish in the now so that you can move on to what’s next.Leslie struggled a lot with the next point but wasn’t even aware she was struggling. Leslie didn’t even know there was a name to this struggle until she read Finish. The idea of getting rid of secret rules may be new to most. Leslie uses the example of her own secret rule to explain.Leslie described that she likes to read but feels she has no time to actually read written words. A secret rule for Leslie was that she told herself that audiobooks did not qualify as ‘real’ reading so she was not actually reading. Leslie knows that’s not the case, but it actually was something that prevented her from listening to audiobooks for a long time.Leslyn shares her secret rule through her hobby of painting. Leslyn has always been artistic and creative but never had the patience for fine arts. Leslyn found her passion in abstract art and loved doing it. Leslyn had even started to sell her art but was having a hard time when being told she should do art shows. Leslyn would hesitate when applying to an art show because in her mind, her secret rule, she saw only artist applied to art shows. Another secret rule of this was that her perfectionism was telling her that a person cannot be both a therapist and an artist. Leslyn was able to get past these secret rules and actually does many shows selling her work.Jon Acuff shares his own struggles in the book around the idea of if it doesn’t come easily than it’s not worth doing. Leslie noticed that a lot of people identify with believing that if something’s hard than it must not be for them. Leslyn adds that this can show up in ways such as gender rules making someone feel that they are prevented from trying things because of their gender. Leslie also adds age rules as well, where she worried, she was too old to go back to school. Leslyn explains that it’s incredibly important for people to understand what it would mean if you did the thing you believed you can’t. When doing this exercise in her practice, Leslyn shares that ultimately everybody always gets to the fear that is driving that “I can’t”.Leslyn continues that 99% of the time that underlying fear, is fear of failing. Leslie shares that many people think that it is not noble to quit something and often are worried that if they don’t finish then they have failed. In our society, we are surrounded by this never give up and just keep going mentality. It’s important to realize that it’s perfectly fine to quit if you want to. Not because you are scared or because it’s hard. But in moments when you give yourself permission not to finish those projects or tasks you are letting yourself finish them in a more fulfilling way.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Jon Acuff | Finish[https://acuff.me/books/]Last Week’s Episode, Financial Management – The Basics[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/5/26/217-financial-management-the-basics]Episode on Facing Fear[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/8/29/1]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

Leslie and Leslyn begin this episode of Try This at Home with heavy hearts. At the time of recording, there has been over 9 days of significant heartbreak in our country. With that, Leslie and Leslyn wish to discuss how you can start to learn what you do not know. This phrase, “You don’t know what you don’t know” was used in a 2002 speech by Donald Rumsfield.Leslyn shares that when you finally understand the pieces and you realize the range of this issue; you realize that we don’t know what we don’t know. Which means, that we are looking and living blind to other issues that we do not have an experiential base on. Leslyn compares the idea to a woman being curious on what it would be like to be a man. It’s something that you can try to imagine but you cannot truly know what it would be like. Leslyn shares another example of trying to explain the color blue to someone who is blind. They will have a perception of the color blue, but they will not have the ability to actually know what blue is. At least not in the way that you can know what blue is.This is true for anything that you do not have an experiential basis for. This is a super important and relevant idea for what is happening right now in our culture. Specifically, in regard to the lives of people of color. What is it like to be a person of color in our society? What is white privilege?The goal is to continue to learn and understand. Leslyn compares it to two people who have grown up with two totally different ideas about parenting. The only way you can come to a consensus about how you are going to parent your kids is to listen to one another. Understand the pain that you are experiencing as well as the pain of people around you.Leslie and Leslyn discuss some of the reasons people may be experiencing pain around this topic. Especially when accepting aspects of racism that play in everyday life. There is a fear of what you do not know and there is a fear of having to admit that you do not know.Leslyn shares how you can start overcoming these fears. First, you must become aware of what is happening. Take the time to learn about why you feel the way you feel. Second, you must learn that this was your thinking before and now you can feel differently. You do not have to keep the same mindset. You are allowed to learn, grow, and reevaluate your thinking.This starts with self-awareness. You must learn what you do not know and use your body to discover the underlying fears that motivate your behavior. Leslyn encourages you to do this as it will help you discover what fears you hold often times unknowingly. Leslyn shares that racism may exist on a spectrum for some people. The reason that we continuously have an issue with this is because we have not nailed down the first and biggest obstacle. This is that all lives matter ONLY if black lives also matter.We all know of course that all lives matter. But you cannot say that all lives matter when we are not treating everyone equally. You cannot feed everyone at the table and then say you are feeding everyone. This happens not only with race but in other aspects as well. All lives will matter when it is equal across every gender, sexuality, race, and religion.Leslie and Leslyn share three book recommendations for you, the listener. One of the books recommended titled Picking Cotton you have the chance to win! The first person to reach out to Leslyn on social media will receive the book! Leslie and Leslyn wish to have a book review after reading these titles sometime next month. Leslyn shares that the essence of this podcast is to try what we talk about at home. To grow your life and become your best self. Leslyn urges you to continue the conversation so that awareness can be raised on what we do not know in as many ways as we can. This week’s Try This at Home is to become your best self. To do that you have to become aware and it is recommended that you extend kindness to the world and to all people.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: NegativityOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Book Recommendations:Rebecca Skloot | The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks[https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6493208-the-immortal-life-of-henrietta-lacks]Erin Torneo, Jennifer Thompson-Cannino, and Ronald Cotton | Picking Cotton: Out Memoir of Injustice and Redemption[https://www.pickingcottonbook.com/]Robin DiAngelo | White Fragility[https://robindiangelo.com/publications/]Other Useful Resource:Jstor | Institutionalized Racism: A Syllabus[https://daily.jstor.org/institutionalized-racism-a-syllabus/]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

Negativity can have a major impact on our mental and physical health. It can be an extremely toxic element to our overall wellbeing. In today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn discuss some of the types of negativity and how you can cope while neutralizing the negativity that comes your way. Leslyn shares that the most important thing that we can do with negativity is neutralize it. If you hear a negative voice, being able to inject a positive voice is good for your energy. If we do not neutralize the negativity then negativity quickly becomes the only energy in the space. Leslie compares it to playing confirmation bias with negativity.In this time right now, Leslie explains it’s incredibly important to hear that there are good things happening. It’s important to really understand the ways that we experience and feed negativity to change. Self-mastery and self-awareness help us really focus on changing from an inside perspective.Leslyn explains that most of the negativity that we are seeing right now is called individual cynicism. Individual cynicism can be described as a general mistrust of people and their motives. If this sounds familiar, thinking you have a reason to be mistrustful because people hurt or deceive us all the time you must sit back and ask yourself is there a reason why this person hurt me? The point Leslyn wants to make is that it’s important to ask yourself why and what’s going on behind the cynicism and know that you are the only one who can fix that.Hostility is a negative that comes from lack of compassion and anger, that’s usually routed in some other emotion. The best way to address hostility is to surrender to it. The neutralizing effect for hostility is to be kind. Responding with kindness often is a surrender to the instinct of responding to the negativity. Showing kindness is not a weakness instead it shows the strength you have to not contribute to negativity.The next kind of negativity Leslie and Leslyn discuss is filtering. This is when out of all the good things around you, you only notice the bad things. This is one that most people seem to struggle with the most. Which leads into polarized thinking when we believe because something is not perfect then it must not be good enough. It makes you adopt and ‘all or none’ mentality. Think of it like a spectrum, you are only focusing on the ends of that spectrum and not even considering the middle.Another way that negativity can creep into your life is when you jump to conclusions, assuming a bad outcome is going to happen because of something bad that has happened in your past. The way to neutralize that energy is to remember that history does not always repeat itself. This leads into blaming others. Doing this can create a negative energy in your conversation that you can help neutralize by reframing your sentences. Instead of saying “You make me so mad” you could say, “When that happens, I feel mad.”Emotional reasoning is something that Leslie and Leslyn covered in their episode on “What is a ‘Truth’?”. It’s the idea that because you feel a certain way it must be real when in fact it may not be a fact. Emotional reasoning can turn into negativity quick. To neutralize, remember that feeling that way does not make it true. Leslie adds that your feeling is real and valid but that doesn’t necessarily mean what you think about the feelings are true.Leslie and Leslyn share some of the positives that you can implement into your own life to help combat negativity. When you are seeing so much negativity in the media for example, try turning on Youtube and looking for a positive TedTalk on things like gratitude, social change, and happiness. Listening to meditations and speeches can also add some positivity and help you practice gratitude. Leslyn shares that gratitude neutralizes negativity every single time! This week’s Try This at Home is to try to pay attention to what is negative in your life and try some of the neutralizing techniques mentioned today.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Silliness & Joyful LivingOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Stephen King | The Stand[https://stephenking.com/library/novel/stand_the.html]Last Week’s Episode #219: What You Don’t Know[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/6/3/219-what-you-dont-know]Episode 218 - Finish by Jon Acuff[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/6/2/book-review-finish-by-jon-acuff-a-guide-for-perfectionists]Episode- What is a ‘Truth’?[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/5/20/what-is-a-truth]Episode- Pandemic Life-Our Finest Hour[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/4/7/210-pandemic-life-our-finest-hour]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok @thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

Leslie and Leslyn agreed that the podcast needed an episode about something lighter. Our playfulness and silliness often are tampered down when we are adults. We are often told we are supposed to grow up and get serious. Leslyn points out that for some, this can actually bury a part of our personality that we use to cope with things. For the episode, Leslie had the idea of picking a few things on how they are each silly and living joyfully. These days, Leslyn is trying to be more fun and let go, so she created a TikTok!The majority of Leslyn’s TikTok’s are inspirational tidbits on how to communicate or have a better relationship. The essence of TikTok though is to have fun and be silly. Leslyn shares about a TikTok account where Dadosaur came to be and went viral. The father in the account acts silly when his children tell him to become Dadosaur. Leslie shares that her father actually does something similar with her children. Anytime Leslie’s kids shout Grandpa Monster, her Dad will pretend that he’s a monster and be super silly with his grandkids.Leslyn shares that researchers have begun to investigate playfulness and its impact on our lives. People who exhibit high levels of playfulness seem to be those who are predisposed to being spontaneous, outgoing, fun loving, and lighthearted. These people also are usually more capable to cope with stress, more likely to report active lifestyles, and are even more likely to succeed academically! Playfulness is something that seems to be really positive and something that adults should be allowing themselves to take part in.Leslie and Leslyn share a few jokes in the episode that you can share with those that you love as well! For Leslie, she offers the ways that she has allowed herself to be sillier. Leslie allows herself to be a kid sometimes. She watches Disney movies as background noise at work and plays with her kids in the kiddie pool and at the creek getting in the water and having fun with them. She tries not to be just a bystander to all these fun experiences but instead tries to remember that she’s not too old to do those things with her kids. Leslyn adds that the whole point is to not be so serious and is actually one of the suggestions in her book.Leslie also tries to be goofy and less serious with her husband and have more lighthearted experiences in their relationship. Leslyn shares one of her favorite memories with her late husband was when he was dancing, and he thought he had the moves and had no cares about what anyone thought about it. Having these moments of silliness helps not only the person doing it but also in the connections with our loved ones.Some other ways that you can be sillier and let loose are by playing board and yard games. For Leslyn, being silly is not being afraid to let it all hang out. Leslie and Leslyn share some of their favorite board games and some of the yard games that they have been playing with family and friends. Taking the moments to play with family and friends is incredibly important to give opportunities to laugh, have bonding experiences, and reduce stress!This week’s Try This at Home is to make sure that you make some time to lighten up. Find moments in everyday to be a little silly, tell a dumb joke, or dance a little! Next week’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn will be sharing six interesting products that they cannot live without!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: 6 of our Favorite Products!One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Leslyn’s Book | Be Happier, Healthier, and More Productive: 365 Inspiring Ideas[https://www.amazon.com/Happier-Healthier-More-Productive-Inspiring/dp/1733402004]America’s Funniest Home Videos[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_zEzzq54Rm0iy7lmmZbCIg]Dadosaur on TikTok[https://www.tiktok.com/@frankiemannella?lang=en]Board Games MentionedTelestrations[https://www.amazon.com/USAopoly-Telestrations-Original-Hilarious-Telephone/dp/B001SN8GF4]Taboo[https://www.amazon.com/Hasbro-A4626-Taboo-Board-Game/dp/B00D4NJSBW]Pictionary[https://www.amazon.com/Matel-Game-DKD47-Pictionary-Board/dp/B0145GMV7Y]Yard Games MentionedBadminton Sets[https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Badminton-Sets/b?ie=UTF8&node=3419581]Cornhole Sets[https://www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers-Sports-Outdoors-Cornhole-Sets/zgbs/sporting-goods/7427900011]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

Episode Notes:In today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn share three of their top rules that they live by each day. It’s important to understand your three major values that you try to live by. Leslyn shares her first rule which is to live with integrity. Just like all the life rules shared today, a lot of things in life can fall under the heading of one major life rule.Kindness is one that both Leslie and Leslyn share and try to live by. Try to be kind and look at a situation from every angle while trying to be empathetic. Leslyn shares that kindness to her feels like a basic element of humanity. Can you think of a time when extending kindness could not be a requirement? Leslie shares she has the tendency of giving the benefit of a doubt most of the time but not with people who are not kind. Leslie defines being kind as trying to make life good for other people through the interactions we have. Leslie continues by sharing an example of trying to practice kindness even in a less than pleasant situation.Leslie shares another rule she tries to live by which is to live according to her faith. As a Christian, every aspect of her life she tries to live according to her faith. One of the key elements for Leslie is to surround herself with people who hold similar core principles as her even if that shows up in different ways. Leslyn shares that even though her spiritual practices do not fall under most Christian thinking; she tries to walk the path that Christ demonstrated.Leslyn’s last rule she tries to live by is honesty. For Leslyn, it is less about people lying to her and more about individual’s ability to be honest with themselves. If people, try to stay more honest in their life this can fall under other life rules such as integrity. Leslyn continues that all of her rules seem to fit tightly together. Integrity, honesty, and kindness are interwoven.Leslie shares her last rule is to focus on family. This is something you have to be thoughtful with especially when teaching your children things like what respect means to your family. Leslie and Leslyn suggest that you sit back and put thought into what is important to you and what is the big rule that seems to be at the top of all of your values. Leslyn shares for example that if someone has integrity and kindness, they most likely are also going to be respectful.Leslyn recommends to anyone listening once you have defined your life rules you should communicate them to the people you care about. Such as if you see honesty as a big deal you would want to communicate that and also communicate how to define that.This week’s Try This at Home is to consider what your values are. If you need help, check out the linked values worksheet below! Determine what values are important for you, communicate, and refine them into what you live by. You should also try to communicate those values to the people you love so they can better understand what those values mean to you and how they will show up in their life!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: NarcissismOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Check out #202 on Random Acts of Kindness![https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/2/1/202-random-kindness]Worksheet on Valueshttps://www.banyantherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Partner-Handout-1-%E2%80%93-A-Guide-to-Creating-Values.pdfCan’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

Episode Notes:In today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn tackle narcissism. One of the reasons that Leslyn wanted to cover this topic is she has seen a lot of people on TikTok that have been suffering the consequences of having been in a relationship with a narcissist. What really is a narcissist?To be diagnosed as having a narcissistic personality disorder 5 of these traits must be met. Someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder has an exaggerated sense of self-importance. With this, they have a sense of entitlement that needs consistent admiration. A person who has a narcissistic personality disorder is preoccupied with fantasies of power, brilliance, and success. They want to be recognized and believe they are superior to others. This superiority causes them to belittle or look down on people that they perceive as less than. The person may expect special favors and request an unquestioning compliance to their demands. A person with a narcissistic personality disorder may take advantage of others to get what they want and have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the feeling of others. The person may believe people envy them and will behave in an arrogant manner or insist on having the best of anything.Leslie shares that narcissism is pervasive. Anyone can be a star these days on any social media platform. It seems some people are overly interested into this idea and desperately want to be a star themselves. Leslyn explains that these are definitely the kind of things we think about when we think of narcissism but there is one that people often miss. Leslyn wants to look at narcissism in suburbia. This setting for narcissism is more damaging to the emotional psyche, especially to the kids being raised by a narcissistic parent or the partners of narcissistic people.Leslyn encourages the listeners to look up Dr. Craig Malkin, a clinical psychologist from Harvard who wrote the book, Rethinking Narcissism. In the book, Dr. Malkin shares a narcissist test that can also be found at his website, or in the links below.Leslyn shares that having confidence does not equate to narcissism. Narcissist though, must get their egos stroked at another people’s expense. In an unhealthy, pathological narcissist, you will often see destruction and a lot of broken people around them. A pathological narcissist does not know how to take a backseat to their children or spouse’s success. There always must be a one-up in the scenario. Leslyn hopes this episode will help the listeners understand that having self-confidence is not narcissistic as long as it is balanced with humility.When living with a narcissist, life is not all gold, it often can be little things that add up to a whole lot of hurt. For Leslyn, her ex-husband was a narcissist. Leslyn ended up giving up her dreams for him to shine and always had to be outranked by him. A lot of people may resonate with this. Leslyn sees women who are active clients who are getting out of narcissistic marriages and are trying to recover their spirit. This has been a long timeframe in their lives of feeling less than so their partner can feel more than. Leslyn adds that in her research the saddest realization is that narcissist often is are the way they are because they feel empty inside.Leslyn shares that codependency and narcissism are both born out of the same deficits and often are drawn together. The problematic elements of codependency are born out of the desire to be loved. A narcissist wants to be loved as well and the codependent is willing to give all admiration to the narcissist while the narcissist won’t give any of that energy back. It can be toxic and destructive. Both codependency and narcissism can be recoverable unless it becomes pathological.If after taking Dr. Craig Malkin’s narcissism test you find out you have some narcissistic tendencies that are unhealthy, you can absolutely reverse those or change those so that they become healthier. Leslie and Leslyn both agree that awareness is the first step. Knowing that you have these narcissist tendencies is super important to make the right steps forward.Would you like the possibility of winning Dr.Craig Malkin’s book Rethinking Narcissism? Reach out to Leslie and Leslyn on social media or on their website and let them know that you have a narcissistic partner and you need to learn more about it. You will be entered into a drawing for a FREE copy of Rethinking Narcissism!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: What is a CoDependent?One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Dr. Craig Malkin | Narcissism Test[http://www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-narcissism-test]Dr. Craig Malkin | Rethinking Narcissism[http://www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-book]Dr. Craig Malkin | Website[http://www.drcraigmalkin.com/]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher! and iHeart Radio

In today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn sit down and discuss codependency after last week’s discussion on narcissism. Although we all have a little codependency in us, it can get unhealthy very quick and often times without us even realizing it.Leslyn defines codependency as a behavioral condition in a relationship. Codependency is a relational disorder where one person enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or underachievement. Codependency is an excessive reliance on the other person for approval or sense of identity.In today’s discussion, Leslie and Leslyn focus on the more subtle signs of codependency to make the listeners aware of some of the missed red flags. If you see yourself in any of the signs, don’t panic! Just understand that there may be things that you need to look at in order to get your levels back into a healthy space.Having difficulty identifying your feelings can be produced over time when you feel like your feelings do not matter in the relationship. This can lead to having difficulty making decisions as you become too worried or worried about if your decision is the ‘right’ decision. The classic example of this is choosing where you want to go out to eat. If last time you chose a restaurant your partner complained the whole time and this becomes a pattern, this can leave you to start having difficulties making decisions.Sometimes you can have a difficulty communicating in the relationship because of past experiences with alcoholic or narcissistic parents. Sometimes you go into a relationship as a codependent but sometimes this can develop in a relationship with an alcoholic or narcissistic partner. Over time these patterns develop causing an inability to communicate and your identity and feelings will feel like they are not relevant.Another sign of codependency can be valuing the approval of others more than you value yourself. Think about how many times you have made a decision to go to a party even though you were exhausted because you didn’t want someone else to be mad at you. Over time a lack of trust in yourself and poor self-esteem can develop, and this comes from an absence of validation either during childhood, past events, or during the relationship.Poor self-esteem can make a codependent have feelings of abandonment or excessive need for approval from others. The last sign of codependency is an exaggerated sense of responsibility of other’s actions. Codependents think that they have the capacity to make things better for the other person. Leslyn shares that enabling behavior is rarely seen in a healthy relationship. It’s important to reiterate that there are elements of codependency in all of us it only becomes a problem when it reaches unhealthy levels.So how do you start to discover if you may have some elements of unhealthy codependency?1. Does your sense of purpose involve making extreme sacrifices to satisfy your partner’s needs?2. Is it difficult to say no when your partner demands your time and energy?3. Do you cover your partner’s problems with drugs, alcohol, or the law?4. Do you constantly worry about other people’s opinions of you? Do you worry that people will judge you?5. Do you feel trapped in your relationship?6. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?If you see yourself saying yes to most or all of these questions, Leslyn strongly recommends that you check in with a therapist but at the very least check out some of the resources below. First and foremost, you must learn how to set boundaries and the book recommendations below can help you start to develop healthy boundaries. You have Leslie and Leslyn’s support if you need further mental health resources. In today’s Try This at Home, evaluate your level of codependency and if there’s a lot of red flags appearing, make sure that you seek some help.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Cancel Culture and ChangeOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Last Week’s Episode 224: Narcissism[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/7/7/224-narcissism-a-frank-discussion]Melody Beattie | Codependent No More[https://melodybeattie.com/books/codependent-no-stop-controlling-others-start-caring/]Melody Beattie | The New Codependency[https://melodybeattie.com/books/new-codependency-help-guidance-todays-generation/]Episode 11: Building Boundaries[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/8/building-boundaries]Dr. Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion | Guided Meditations and Exercises[https://self-compassion.org/]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

In today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn tackle the term cancel culture coming from their discussion a few weeks back in episode on passive permission. So, what exactly is cancel culture? Leslie pulls a definition from The Telegraph where Tanya Gold defines it as so, “This is cancel culture. The phenomenon where if someone says something you think is appalling you not only protect but you also seek to remove the perpetrators livelihood and sometimes their life. Physical threats are important but are often dismissed because they are online.”Leslie follows this by giving a recent example of this with the company Goya Foods after the president of the company shared a belief that many disagree with. This has caused many to stop buying Goya Foods products and can be a reason why cancel culture can make sense to exist or at least see why people believe it’s viable.Leslie continues that as a small business owner, you realize the impact that your money has when you step into the small business environment. It makes sense that if someone gives you bad service or you do not like something that you can choose to not spend your money with that company. Leslyn adds that like with passive permission, if there is no consequence where is the motivation for the poor behavior to change? Leslie shares an example from involving her own company before posing the questions, when do we allow for change to come in? If someone does something, shouldn’t we give them the opportunity to change? If we take cancel culture to the extreme, what’s next?Leslyn agrees that an all or none mentality is not healthy but gives the example of choosing to go to a restaurant. If you go to a restaurant and they do not provide good service or your server was bad, you may try that restaurant again. But if the same experience of service happens again, you probably will not go back to that restaurant. This is basically boycotting, and in a free market system supply and demand is crucial. In order to generate demand, you must serve your consumer it’s not a new thing.Leslyn continues that in times when we disagree with a company or person but support their product we often are put between a rock and a hard place. Do you sacrifice your value to have the things you love, or do you give up the things you love to support your values? It really depends on the situation and the person choosing to honor their values or look the other way for things they love or want.Leslyn gives another example, if someone says I’m sorry and they won’t do something again, then go on to demonstrate that with their behavior by not doing it again then we can accept that. The problem comes when the person does not change their behavior and the sorry then becomes meaningless, leaving us with a different problem.Leslie shares the example of the actress, Jodie Comer who has been trending on Twitter as people are wanting to cancel her. Not because of anything she has done but because she is dating a Republican, Trump supporter. Jodie Comer herself has not done anything necessarily to be cancelled but she’s dating someone who has political beliefs that are aligning with the president. So where is the line for cancel culture?Leslyn takes this into the arena of what is happening in our worlds right now and the division that is existing. There no longer is a middle of the road position on topics. People have come to the center taken a stand and gone all the way to one side. Going back to the example, Leslyn says psychologically speaking, if you are dating someone who is a Trump supporter that says a lot about your choices and about you as a person. Leslyn thinks that is what is happening here that people are making their values clear due to the actress’s choice.After the last election, Leslyn shares that couple’s therapy went through the roof because someone voted for Trump or a family has ultra conservative parents and super liberal children. It seems upsetting that we would become so unaccepting, but where is the line in all this? If someone is violating your values, you have the right to set a boundary.Leslie shares her fear and worries that nobody would care if people did not think they could get back to where they were after cancel culture. Leslyn replies that when she hears these worries, she thinks of things like prison reform especially for the more socially irresponsible things. That poses the question then, does a felon every have an opportunity for true reform in a world that they have to disclose that they are a felon?Leslie says that knowing that cancel culture exists should be the wake-up call to examine where you are, where you are spending your money, and who you are reporting. Leslie and Leslyn both hope that the listeners will really sit back and think about this idea of cancel culture. Leslyn sees that the values are shifting in our culture. It’s one thing to agree to disagree over something like wall color or piercings but when it comes to a value of humanity it seems a stronger stance is needed. Leslyn continues that she believes what is happening is that we are navigating our values as a society at this moment in time.Leslie and Leslyn hope that they have given you something to think about today when it comes to cancel culture. Listen back to the passive permission episode where Leslie and Leslyn discussed change with our commerce behavior as this is the other side or an extension of this topic. This week’s Try This at Home is to check your value system and your behaviors especially when it comes to your consumer behavior. Notice if it matches your value system and make very conscious and intentional decisions that you can live with!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Women Empowering WomenOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Episode 212: Passive Permission[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/3/15/210-passive-permission-what-is-it]The Telegraph | Much of Cancel Culture is Unserious – but the Effect on Us All is Chilling[https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/much-cancel-culture-unserious-effect-us-chilling/]Progressive Shopper | Chrome Extension[https://progressiveshopper.com/]The Stand | Stephen King[https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/149267.The_Stand]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

In today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn start by discuss Leslyn’s birthday plans for a milestone birthday. Leslyn shares that it is not going as originally planned, she was planning on going to Italy and being surrounded by loved ones. With the pandemic in full swing, her plans have had to change and Leslyn has adapted to an Italian night at home!With the pandemic, Leslyn shares that many seem to be concerned with their drinking and she wonders if it is a subconscious reaction to all of the stress that we are feeling right now. There is an elevated understanding that we are stressed during this time and when we correlate our stress with alcohol we get concerned.There are so many unknowns in the world today. The country has been left questioning many things, but the most important questions right now are surrounding children and whether they should be going back to school. In these times, we are faced with stressors and fears in our personal health but now the added stress of children’s education and safety are coming to the main stage.Leslie shares her discomfort in sending her children back because her school district is not mandating mask wearing for children. Leslyn adds that she has many clients who are teachers and are worried about the risk they will be bringing home to their loved ones. There is also the fears of immunocompromised teachers and children and if they should be back in school. There are worried for parents on how they will juggle e-learning if they do decide to not send their children back. This also has the worries of parents who do not even have the option for their children to do e-learning as they may be essential workers.The fears of the educational impacts that the pandemic will have on children’s learning and if that will cause children to be held back is also a great concern. Leslyn believes that the part for her that is so challenging about this is that there is no answer that solves all the problems that have arose. If you send children back to school, you are putting lives in danger but if you do not send children back to school you are putting people’s livelihoods in danger. Leslyn says that we are back to the topic discussed last week on the human cost that the virus has brought to everyday life.With all of these changes it is important to understand what thriving looks like in this new reality. Thriving is not going to look like what it used to. We must learn to adapt. Adaptation does not mean that you are going to sit around and wait for how things used to be. Instead, adaptation takes a set of circumstances and decides where to go from there to get where you want to be. It’s like learning how to take lemons and make lemonade.Leslyn continues that if we want to talk about thriving, we have to lean into our fears. There are so many conversations right now in Leslyn’s practice that revolve around fear. Franklin Roosevelt said, “There is nothing to fear except for fear itself.” Fear prevents us from moving and if we are not moving, we are not growing.Our new normal is not going to look the way that we thought it would look but it is going to be okay. We work with the best that we have and adapt to the circumstances. Every part our our life right now cannot be based on what we have done or did. It has to be based on the current conditions that we are facing. This week’s try this at home is to really consider what you need to do to stop waiting for things to go “back to normal” and then adapt your life to thrive!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Building ResilienceOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Episode 226: Cancel Culture[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/7/28/226-cancel-culture]Episode 32: Facing Fear[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/8/29/1]The Martian | Movie Trailer[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ej3ioOneTy8]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

Last week, Leslie and Leslyn discussed adaptation. In today’s episode, they focus on the bigger picture by covering the concept of resilience in more detail to facilitate with strengthening the listener’s own resilience. In the current world, it is important to observe that no matter what is happening for you right now, there are at least one or two blessing you can savor allowing you to adjust the lens on your worldview. Like gratitude, emotional awareness and optimism are needed to maintain resilience.Leslie and Leslyn break down resilience into 9 components. Optimism, as Leslyn points out is something that you may feel is hard to achieve especially if you believe that you are not an optimist. What we do know though is that optimism can be learned, and you do not have to necessarily be optimistic by default.Resilience to Leslyn is the ability to bounce back when difficult things are dealt to you. The definition psychologically is the process of adapting while in the face of adversity. Adversity can be defined by a number of factors but ultimately can occur due to any significant source of stress. To have the confidence and to feel like you have the ability to bounce back, you want to differentiate from being exhausted and or unmotivated. When we are tired, we often can find ourselves feeling like we are not strong enough or we cannot do a task. The single most important thing to do is to look at your past and look at all the times that you were able to 100% survive your worst days.To have resilience you must have control of self. Leslyn preaches the idea of self-mastery in many of the discussions as nothing can change unless you get control over how you approach, engage, and reach to situations. The willingness to adapt was discussed in detail in last week’s episode.While the willingness to be flexible can be actively letting go of some of your rigidity in life. Leslyn shares that many of her clients who are depressed or anxious could really benefit from learning how to be flexible. Leslyn gives the example of driving specifically what she calls defensive driving. If someone is not paying attention, you must be able to act quick and at a moment’s notice change lanes or brake if needed. The willingness to be flexible is a lot like defensive driving for your life.Having the ability to solve problems, especially your own problems can lead to resilience. Some problems you will not have the power to solve but there are also times when there are opportunities to collectively contribute to solving problems. Leslyn relates this to Magic Eye books, that are 3D illusion books that you can only identify things if the image is looked at in a certain way. Problem solving to someone else’s problems works a lot like a Magic Eye book. You can see the problem and you want them to see the problem like you do so you often will push for that solution. The person holding the problem may not be looking at the situation in the same way as you. If you allow them the ability to find the solution, they will be able to find their own path to resolving their problem.Emotional awareness is a major foundation to resilience. Leslyn shares that if the listeners remember nothing else, it is important for the listeners to develop a self-awareness as nothing can change without it. With the current times, social support can play a major role in the resilience people have now. People need family and friends for support, but we must remember to engage in ways that protect us and keep our loves ones safe. This week’s try this at home is to go forth and be a weeble as weebles wobble, but they do not fall down! Meaning now more than ever it is important to take our current situations and learn to strengthen and master our resilience.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Fostering Positivity in Your LifeOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Last Week’s Episode’s 227 Those Who Adapt, Survive[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/8/3/227-those-who-adapt-survive]Magic Eye Books[https://www.magiceye.com/about-lists/]Weebles Wobble Commerical[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qq0OQBdIhsc]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

Life isn’t always easy sometimes it can be an outright job to foster positivity into a negative day. In today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn share how you can build and sustain a positive outlook on life. The episode begins with Leslie sharing an experience of a day that she was feeling very negative and did not have her normal positive outlook. After recording the episode on Positivity, Leslie felt better and her outlook had changed but sadly the audio of the episode was not recorded. Leslyn shares that it is interesting to sit back and really think about it as being a good therapy session for Leslie something good came out of that time and energy even if that mean re-recording the episode. This brought new inspiration to the topic as Leslie and Leslyn agreed they needed to share this story as it will resonate with someone while discussing positivity.Hope is something that is crucial in positivity as we hope that we are going to learn from our mistakes, that something isn’t going to happen again, or even hoping for beyond what is happening in this very moment. Leslyn shares that as a therapist, she talks about living in the present and how important it is to spend as much time in the present as you can. There has to be some elements of hope that the next time is going to be equal to or better than this or that we’re going to learn something new next time. We are built on hope. Our hope to grow up, fall in love, get a job, buy a house, and so much more.The key is to find a balance between hoping for everything in the beyond and living in the moment. To foster positivity, it is super important to own and honor the negative for a period of time. This does not mean focus on the negativity, but instead acknowledging the negativity and validating that it happened. You cannot move on to positivity until you have grieved whatever has happened that was negative in your life. Validate the pain you feel and the problem at hand, and then hope for there to be some value in the experience.If you want to start fostering positivity into your life, first and foremost you have to make sure that the majority of your attention is focused on what works. We all have things in our lives that work and do not work. Pay attention and consciously move towards the positivity, focus on the good. Just like a camera lens, adjust the focus so that you can clearly see. Focus your mindset on looking for solutions. Leslie shares a great example of this. If you lose your job that will hurt and be a negative experience. After validating the emotions surrounding the experience you can start to look at where you have potential for problem solving and what are the possibilities. Once you have considered all the possibilities, you can begin to assess the probabilities or likelihood of the rational ones. That hope will really bring you back to the positive side of things.Leslyn believes that it is critical, especially for people living in toxic environments, to start the day with positive affirmations. Things like, I am powerful, I am calm, I am in control, I am good enough, and so on. Whatever you need to reenforce for yourself, affirmations can help retrain your mind. Affirmations can come in many ways a few popular ones being prayer, I am affirmations, and the loving kindness practice. It’s also important to find the humor in bad situations. At the end of the day, there are funny things in bad situations, and this can help lighten the negativity surrounding the situation.Turning your failures into lessons while also focusing on the present can help you balance your life by adding hope for your future. Another way to increase the positivity in your life is to transform negative self-talk into positive self-talk. This is something that Leslie and Leslyn cover in many episodes and can be one of the single biggest contributors to negativity in your life. While changing your mindset surrounding negativity, you must also evaluate your physical surroundings.Find friends, mentors, and co-workers that will help maintain a positive space for you. It’s like swimming in a pool, if you are swimming in a pool that is toxic, you are going to get sick. If your environment is nothing but toxicity, maintaining a healthy and positive outlook is going to be next to impossible. Find some positive space in your world where you can be surrounded by positive people. The last way, and Leslyn’s favorite, to foster positivity is to engage in activities that foster positive thoughts. This can look like scrolling through positive quotes on Pinterest, reading inspirational books, listening to TED Talks on topics that are near and dear to your heart, or even listening to podcasts like Try This at Home! Technology opens that door wide open for you to have access to positivity with the push of a button.This week’s Try This at Home is to engage in as many of these things as possible on a regular and consistent basis. Really sit down and ponder what you are doing today to foster positivity. With the world as crazy as ever and stress levels at an all-time high there is a ton of things that can cause us to dwell on the negative. With the negative, comes the positive, there is a lot of goodness seeping through as well and Leslie and Leslyn encourage you to shift your attention into the more positive spaces.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Victim BlamingOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Episode 22: Affirmations[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/6/19/22-affirmations]Sharon Salzberg | Lovingkindness[https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/lovingkindness/]Leslyn’s Uplifting Soundtrack | The Last of the Mohicans[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVjwBNsiOv0&t=2s]Leslie’s Uplifting Soundtrack | Hamilton[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPSWZUExZ8M&t=2s]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

Recently on TikTok, a creator attempted to explain a side of what is called narcissistic abuse. A lot of viewers, especially those with experience with narcissist felt as though the creator was victim blaming. Victim blaming can be a very serious issue. We all know what victim blaming looks like in cases of assault and abuse but in today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn focus a big part on the victim blaming that is not as overt and in your face. Leslyn continues that we are all victims at some point by definition. Anybody who has harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime or accident, is defined as a victim blaming. Also defined as victim blaming is a person who has been tricked, duped, or lied to. Victim blaming is when we say that somebody else’s behavior somehow generated an action taken.Leslie and Leslyn discuss a video segment discussing the idea of manipulation that occurs in a relationship involving a narcissist. The creator attempted to say the person with the narcissist is also very manipulative. Leslie immediately states that in a lot of these narcissistic relationships, the other person involved is not aware of the narcissistic behaviors immediately and sometimes for a very long time. Leslie continues saying that she feels that this creator’s argument sounds very premeditated but has the feeling that often people aren’t even aware of the behaviors. Leslyn agrees that this is exactly the point. When the word manipulation is used it implies intent.Leslyn gives the example of if a narcissist says that they will go find someone else if the other member of the relationship doesn’t do something. This is going to generate deep-rooted fears in the victim causing the victim to feel fears of being left, being alone, or being unworthy. The victim fears this and that will drive a corresponding behavior to the narcissist. Leslyn goes on to say that generally this is a codependent behavior that is unconscious and often the person is unaware of the behavior.Leslyn shares another TikTok creator’s video on the topic to show how the first video fell flat in its argument. This creator believes that you are not responsible for the way that someone chooses to treat you, but you are responsible for the boundaries, values, and self-defense you put in place. The creator gives the example of leaving your door to your home open and unlocked. You could trust and hope that no one is going to steal and destroy your home but what if they do? What if it continues to happen and you just continue to repair your home without putting consequences on the situation? You must start locking your door. This works similarly to toxic relationships you must take the steps to protect yourself once you are aware of the abuse.Leslie shares that it’s important to remember that even if you leave your front door unlocked and someone comes in and steals, that is still wrong. Leslyn adds but if you continue to leave your door unlocked and continued to feel attacked by someone it never means it is okay but what it does mean is that you need to take steps to protect yourself from it happening again. There are things that we can do to protect ourselves and not be totally at the mercy of how others treat us.Leslyn gives another example. If you are driving down the interstate and are staying in your lane maybe you get distracted and look at your phone, GPS, or someone in the car. If somebody comes across and into your lane and you don’t swerve in time, are you fully a victim? Is there some responsibility needed to be taken for not being attentive enough to be defensive? It’s not your fault of course, but you do need to honor the fact and be honest that you were not paying attention that is not victim blaming.This week’s Try This at Home is to make it your mission to become self-aware. Understand why you allow people to treat you badly and learn how to create healthy boundaries. Understand what that might look like and grow your self-esteem. Don’t allow yourself to be victimized beyond the event that occurred. Take the time that you need to heal because it hurts when you are a victim but then forgive yourself and redirect. Focus on awareness, understanding, and growth!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Women Empowering WomenOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Try This at Home’s Episode on Building Boundaries![https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/8/building-boundaries]Henry Cloud | Boundaries[https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Updated-Expanded-When-Control/dp/0310351804/ref=as_li_ss_tl?keywords=boundaries&qid=1554900990&s=gateway&sr=8-1&linkCode=sl1&tag=thisisleslyn-20&linkId=7d31436c3b0ba142b999703b09950247&language=en_US]Dr. Kristin Neff | Self-Compassion Website[https://self-compassion.org/]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

Episode Notes:On this week’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn focus predominately on the ladies to ask the question, what does it mean for women to empower women? It’s an extremely interesting topic when really examining, it can get a little complicated. At the core, it’s really about the question, how do we lift one another up? Leslyn states that we often carry the “mean” girls scenario or attitude into adulthood where we try to compete against each other, and it can become really ugly. What is women empowering women then and what impact can it have?Leslyn when she hears women empowering women, she thinks to how life is often a competition to be prettier, more successful, a better mother, and so many other things. We don’t spend enough time actually encouraging one another. Leslie shares that the basic definition of women empowering women is equipping and allowing women to make life-determining decisions through the different problems in society.Leslie questions why we do that when there seems to be much bigger problems that women are facing. Things such as not receiving equal pay as our male counterparts, basic human rights, access to clean water, and more. Leslyn wonders if much of this has to do with this idea that for most of humanity, the opportunities available to women have been extremely limited so we all can get stuck scrambling over each other trying to get to the top.Leslyn believes instead that we should be trying to create a ladder to reach success. Although there have been many opportunities given through the women’s liberation movement, we haven’t quite broke through the glass ceiling of equalization. Leslie shares that on Instagram a hashtag called #communityovercompetition has been started with the purpose to build communities instead of competing against each other.Leslie continues that unfortunately the people in her real life who seem to use that hashtag are often the most cutthroat, competitive, and backstabbing people. Even when we are trying to do the right thing by creating a community of women, it seems that there are still women who will be critical. How do we stop that and instead lift one another up? What would that look like?Leslyn believes that we can really take home the idea of trying to empower, lift up, and encourage the women in our world on the day-to-day. Leslie shares a list of things she believes can help in empowering the women around us. Not commenting on women’s bodies in a negative way and focusing on other attributes she has as well. Leslyn believes that the point is if you are going to make a comment about a women’s body, you want to talk about the positives.Paying women equally is also a big feat that all women might face in their lives. Leslie shares that we should advocate for our female colleagues and friends when needed. If you know that your female counterpart or colleague is being paid less, you should speak up for them. It’s not about the disempowerment of men it’s about lifting up women through empowerment.Helping women by encouraging and supporting them to prioritize their self-care can also be extremely important to a women’s empowerment. This helps also when knowing your own worth. Women empowering women is all about encouragement, support, and motivation. This week’s Try This at Home is to make sure that you are doing something consciously to empower the women in your life. Encourage her to live her dream, motivate her to be her best self, and encourage a positive self-image!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: The Elevate ClassOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Try This at Home’s Episode on Fostering Positivity[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/8/19/229]Try This at Home’s Episode on Self-Care is First Aid[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/2/12/self-care-first-aid]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

In this episode, we discuss…Show Intro [0:01]Introductions—Elevate! [0:12]Start of the Podcast [0:42]Something Missing in Life Coaching [2:19]Elevate Class Creation [4:53]Maintaining Sustainable Happiness [5:39]Where Counseling Got Its Start [6:59]What Is the Elevate Class? [10:57]Who Is My Best Self? [11:19]VIA Strengths Inventory [17:12]Self-Awareness [18:31]Self-Care [18:48]Mindfulness [20:17]Gratitude [20:43]Belonging [24:25]Love and Relationships [25:14]Spirit Selves [25:28]Redefine Happiness [26:29]Wrapping Up the Course [27:17]Rebrand of the Course [31:21]Try This at Home [32:58]Closing Thoughts [35:03]Outro [37:07]Episode Notes:On this week’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn discuss what is missing in life coaching and how Leslyn has created a course to help supplement the space between counseling and life coaching when it comes to personal growth. A major aspect of the Try This at Home podcast is the theme surrounding personal growth and self-awareness. Introspection is an intricate part of growth.Leslyn noticed a few years ago that when she had clients who got to a space where they felt better, their anxiety was managed, depression had lifted, and or the relationships in their lives were working. Her clients often find that there is still this feeling of not knowing what to do from that point. Clients would feel better and stop going to therapy but would still find issues on how to continue that same mental momentum.Leslyn found that life coaching often sits in the arena of career counseling where few clients have access to life coaching that specifically focuses on the self. Leslyn created the Elevate Class to help individuals sustain the good peaceful feeling that has been built when finishing counseling. The Elevate Class largely focuses on teaching people how to sustain a sense of wellbeing in their life.The Elevate Class is a ten-week course that has an hour to hour and a half commitment to developing the skills to sustain happiness. This includes video instruction, articles, and journal prompts to complete. The Elevate Class is a coaching course meaning that every single day for 70 days you are inspired and motivated to work on something that is prompting though about what happiness means in your own life. In the first week, Leslyn focuses on defining happiness by asking the question, who is my best self?In the second week of the course, the VIA Strength Assessment is taken by students to determine their five core strengths in life. Leslyn shares that our core strengths are intrinsic to the person that we are and it’s important to make sure they exist in our day-to-day life. In week three, there is a focus on self-awareness which is reflected in the podcast is incredibly important to both Leslie and Leslyn.In week four, Leslyn shares can be a very interesting week as most people are realizing the amount of work the course takes. Leslie adds that this course acts as the ultimate self-care as it is your daily dose of self-care every day for ten weeks. Leslyn intentionally designs the course to work as a funnel that many students will experience a light bulb moment during. In week five mindfulness is the focus as there is no substitution for the value of deep breath and being able to ground yourself and come to the present.Gratitude is the focus of week six of the course and over the week the impact of gratitude hits the student as through research it is demonstrated that people who practice gratitude are happier. In week seven, the course focuses on belonging. This can be challenging for some Leslyn states as, as humans we are hardwired with the need to belong. This perfectly transitions into week eight of love and relationships.In week nine of the course, the topic surrounds our spirit selves. The research seems clear that people who believe in or have some sort of faith report higher levels of wellbeing. In the last week of the course, Leslyn and the students redefine happiness after nine weeks of introspection.In this week’s Try This at Home invest in personal growth in a way that works for you that can be regular and consistent. Personal growth and personal training for happiness is almost a necessity if you want to be healthy!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: ???One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Leslyn’s The Elevate Class (Class Begins Friday, September 11, 2020!)[https://theelevateclass.com/]VIA Strength Assessment[https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/account/register]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

On this week’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn tackle regret and the ways that it impacts life and what we can do about it. It is reported that more than 90% of people hold onto a big regret in life. Regret by definition is a negative cognitive or emotional state that consist of blaming ourselves for a bad outcome that occurred, feelings of loss or sorrow on what could have been and wishing that we could undo a previous choice we had made.Leslyn shares that the fact of the matter is, the thing that you may regret you did for a reason. Given the exact same circumstances and no knowledge of what the future holds, many would make the same decision again that they are stuck regretting right now. Leslyn admits that she does feel regret, but she shares that it is important not to hold on to the regret and to keep regretting. If Leslyn feels regret, it’s only momentary and she works to correct the regret she holds. Leslyn challenges the listeners that if they are feeling that they are carrying regret they can follow the following exercise.Close your eyes and take yourself back to that exact moment that you hold regret for. Imagine that you are faced with the decision that you made or didn’t make. Ask yourself, would I do this again if not given any knowledge of the decision’s future consequences?Leslie shares that when we look at short period of time, we often tend to have more regrets. If we look at longer periods of time, more time has gone by and we know that things turned out despite decisions that we had made. It’s all about perspective. Leslie raises the idea that we rarely every regret and think that things in life could have been worse if you would have chosen differently. Leslyn adds that there is a lot to learn from regret as it is a way of saying we need to pay attention. For example, if you have done something that causes pain to someone else, you may feel regretful about that. This is an indication that you can grow and it’s important to reach out and say sorry to that person and do what you can to repair the situation.It’s also incredibly important to learn how to allow us to get it wrong sometimes. You must remember to be kind to yourself when you get it wrong. Regret also appears when we have a sense of loss or sorrow of what might have been. When making a conscientious choice to do one thing and it doesn’t turn out the way you wanted it to turn out it might feel like you could have had control over the experience. Most of the time you have control over and make decisions in a conscious manner and it’s important to remember that the result can be imperfect sometimes.This week’s Try This at Home is to look at all the things that you regret in life and apply this though process to each one of them. Leslyn tells clients to write down all the things that you think you regret and then go through the exercise understanding the reason why you made the decision you did. Then ask yourself, if you had no knowledge of the future and you had to make the decision again, would you make the same decision? It’s a really good chance that you will make the same decision so it’s important to understand how to make peace with it and move on!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: DisappointmentOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Last Week’s Episode: Personal Growth- The Elevate Class[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/9/8/personal-growth-the-elevate-class]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

On this week’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn cover the topics surrounding disappointment. Leslyn starts out by saying that disappointment is a fact of life and shares that if the listeners takes anything from this episode it should be that it’s really important to understand that you cannot and will not avoid disappointment.Disappointment is the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations. Leslyn likes to think about the research around disappointment where it is seen as a form of sadness, feeling of loss, or uncomfortable space. Disappointment is the space between our expectations and our reality.Leslie shares an article from the Harvard Business Review that believes we handle disappointment in a few ways. Some people seek to avoid disappointment so much that they basically become underachievers setting the bar low enough that it can be hard to be disappointed. Leslyn adds on this end of the spectrum you have people who do not want to disappoint themselves and therefore do not try. On the other end of the spectrum, you have people who do not want to disappoint others and have this need to be perfect. While underachievers are afraid of disappointing themselves, overachievers are afraid of disappointing someone else.Understanding disappointment can help us learn a lot about ourselves. It turns out that disappointment and expectations go hand in hand as there seems to be a correlation in the data to how much happiness people report in research studies. In essence, we are unhappy because our expectations of reality exceed our experiences of reality.When looking at disappointment it’s critical to understand that many things we often find ourselves expressing disappointment for are things that are completely and totally outside of our control. Sometimes you have to sit back and ask yourself when you are disappointed is this inside or outside of my control.The most important aspect of disappointment for Leslyn is the expectations that we have for ourselves. What are the expectations that you have for yourself? Leslie shares that recently she is disappointed and not reaching her expectation of finishing her to-do lists in the past few months. Leslyn raises ideas from an episode at the beginning of the pandemic, link below. The idea that we have adapted our lives for the shifts occurring during the pandemic, but we did not adapt our expectations of our lives. This is a time that we are all feeling disappointments as life is not the way that it is as well as people are experiencing their own disappointments that we must keep that in mind.This week’s try this at home is to be thoughtful and include a little bit of grace to others and yourself as we adapt to this new world that we live in. Take a moment to look at the things that you are disappointed abut and find those who identify each of those elements of disappointment. Figure out what you have control over and what you don’t. The things you do not have control over, process the sadness, and step away and remember that being disappointed and disappointing other people is a part of being human.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Finding Your PurposeOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Try This at Home’s Episode: Those Who Adapt, Survive[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/8/3/227-those-who-adapt-survive]Harvard Business Review | Dealing with Disappointment[https://hbr.org/2018/08/dealing-with-disappointment]TEDX | Nate Ware: Why We’re Unhappy – The Expectation Gap[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KiUq8i9pbE&ab_channel=TEDxTalks]Glennon Doyle | Untamed[https://www.amazon.com/Untamed-Glennon-Doyle-Melton/dp/1984801252]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

Why am I here? It turns out identifying your life’s purpose can actually increase an overall sense of wellbeing. Pablo Picasso believes, “the purpose of life is to give it away.” While Oprah has been quoted saying, “There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honor your calling it’s why you were born and how you become most truly alive.” To live your most authentic life you must be your most authentic self. You have to find yourself and ask where you are most engaged in your most authentic self. It’s important to think about what the idea of having a purpose means.It has been established in previous episodes that scientists believe that having a sense of purpose is adaptive in evolutionary sense and helps the species along the way. People who research this idea believe that there are two things that create a sense of purpose. The first being the ways that you use your special gifts. In a previous episode discussion authenticity, and the value and action inventory assessment. In Leslyn’s Elevate class, participants each take the value and action inventory and focus on their top five values. When you integrate your values into your daily life you are going to feel as if you are striving to achieve your purpose. The second way to grow our purpose is through our connection to others.In a 2018 article in Greater Good Magazine, Jeremy Smith shares the six ways to find your purpose in life. The first thing he recommends is to read more. Reading connects people to a common thing and we often see ourselves in much of what we read. Leslyn always believes you should make time for something such as a self-help book, relaxation, or connection to fiction. The second way to find your purpose in life is to turn your hurts into healing. When you turn your hurts into healing often what happens is, we start to share that, and people begin to see a healing process that provides hope. The third thing that you can do to find your purpose in life it to cultivate gratitude. For Leslyn, gratitude is one of the attributes that will help you feel better especially when paired with moments of awe. Gratitude, awe, and altruism help us feel connected to something larger than ourselves.The fourth thing that Jeremy Smith point out that facilitate in finding life’s purpose is to listen to what other people appreciate about us. If we listen to the way that we impact others it can inform the purpose that we are giving the world that we might not personally value or be open to seeing. The next way to foster life’s purpose is to find and build a community. A community is available if you want it to be and is a very important aspect to your own purpose. The last thing that Jeremy recommends is to tell your story. When you tell your story or write it down and expand on it you can see the change and growth that you have accomplished. You can identify the obstacles that you have overcome, and you can truly rewrite the narrative if you need to.This week’s Try This at Home is this, if you have a sense of not knowing your purpose look more into the article referenced in the episode and engage in the process. Think about keeping a journal, strive to pay attention, be in awe, read, actively build a community, and write your own story!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Leslie and Leslyn’s Book Recommendations!One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Try This at Home’s Episode #29: Living an Authentic Life[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/8/13/29-living-an-authentic-life]Try This at Home’s Episode #232: Personal Growth – The Elevate Class[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/9/8/personal-growth-the-elevate-class]Value and Action Inventory Assessment[https://www.viacharacter.org/]Jeremy Adam Smith | How to Find Your Purpose in Life[https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_find_your_purpose_in_life]Rick Warren | The Purpose Driven Life[https://www.amazon.com/Purpose-Driven-Life-What-Earth/dp/031033750X]Robin Sharma | The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari[https://www.amazon.com/Monk-Who-Sold-His-Ferrari/dp/0062515675]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

In recent TikTok Lives, Leslyn consistently gets the questions ‘how do we find a good therapist’ and ‘can I work with you’. While it is certainly important to find a good therapist, there is a difference between the needs and what professional you should be searching for. Therapists help clients work through their specific issues and often clients go in knowing some of the areas that need to be worked on. While life coaches usually help their clients stay on track with their goals and can be beneficial for continual growth.To determine what professional would be most beneficial, it’s important to understand that there are all kinds of different therapists. Therapy is often called psychotherapy, counseling, or just therapy. Counseling is conducted by someone who is a highly trained and skilled healthcare professional. This healthcare professional receives training in diagnoses, problematic beliefs, behaviors, relationships, feelings, and sometimes even physiological responses. Many of these topics can be paused or triggered by past issues and self-destructive habits making therapy the place to dig under your current emotional spectrum to discover why the problems are there and how to repair them.All types of psychological counseling will be regulated by the state in which you live with most states giving licensure to healthcare professionals. Most often you need at least a master’s degree in a counseling related field this can be degrees such as mental health counseling, social work, marriage and family therapy, or psychology. During and after receiving a graduate degree, a specific number of clinical hours are needed depending on your state this could be anywhere from 2000 to 4000 clinical hours. If a professional has a PhD level often they will have a research and academic focus while PSYD, or doctorate in psychology, will be more clinically oriented. Other types of therapists can be LCSWs, LCPCs, or LPCs. A LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker, LCPC is a licensed clinical professional counselor, and an LPC is a licensed professional counselor. It’s important to really understand that a therapist, psychotherapist, or a mental health counselor who hold a license are highly trained medical professionals with clinical experience.When looking for a therapist, you may come across licensed and non-licensed counselors. A licensed counselor must be stated. If not licensed, anyone can take the title of counselor without even having the education required for licensure. Leslyn urges that if you are seeking counseling/psychotherapy to check out your state board licenses and confirm that the person you are speaking to is licensed in your state.When it comes to life coaches there is not a requirement to begin working as a life coach but Leslie and Leslyn offer a few tips on how to find a good coach. There are life coach programs that award certifications and Leslie think that a good coach would take the steps to go through some program or at least be seriously interested in educating themselves in coaching. Leslyn shares that if you can afford it, seeing someone who is a therapist and a life coach can be beneficial. All therapists can be life coaches as they are trained in the topics but not all life coaches can be therapists. A good life coach will recommend their clients to a specialist if a serious mental health issue is uncovered to consider psychotherapy options.When choosing the right therapist or coach, choose someone based on referrals or after researching and seeing their presence on the Internet. If your coach or therapist, does not have a presence online, reach out and ask for a free consultation. In this consultation you will want to be face-to-face (in-person, or virtually) as you need to establish a connection. Leslie brings a tip when starting therapy that you have to be prepared for some hard truths as sometimes what is most helpful is not the thing that you want to hear.This week’s Try This at Home is to make a mental note that if you are looking to uncover and recover seek a therapist but if you are looking to discover seek a life coach!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Books that Changed Us.One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Psychologist License Lookup State by State[https://www.psychologytoday.com]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

Episode Notes:On last week’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn shared some of the major problems that married couples can face and decided to continue this topic to focus on some of the healthy relationship aspects that help maintain a happy marriage. Leslie starts off the episode by sharing some advice that has saved her relationship a few times. When Leslie and her husband disagree on something, whoever feels the strongest on the situation will be what they decide on. This requires maturity and a real commitment to being honest about who truly cares more about the situation. Leslyn adds she often advises couples to rank how they feel on a scale of one to ten and the person who ranks high should be the one making the decision. If both parties have strong opinions on the situation a compromise must be created.To have a magic marriage, one must make it their job to learn how to communicate effectively. Leslie and Leslyn explain this point by discussing communication when it comes to wants and needs in the relationship. Following effective communication, magic marriage couples also show daily appreciation. Many couples that Leslyn has in her office often say they do not feel appreciated. Not feeling appreciated, outside of infidelity, is the single biggest complaints seen in unhealthy marriages. People who feel appreciated do not have broken marriages and it is critical to practice daily appreciation with your partner to maintain a healthy relationship.The number one recommendation that Leslyn offers to her couples is that they must have something as a couple to look forward to. This can be a vacation, a project around the house, a weekend away, or even a dinner date night. Couples should find something that they are jointly looking forward to, this can unite the couple to a similar vision of the future. Checking in and making sure you are on the same page with regularity also relates to the last point as being united to a future goal is important. It’s important to connect and check in to make sure that you are on the same page on a regular basis to maintain a healthy, happy relationship.The next way that helps maintain a healthy relationship is to always be invested in sharing at least one interest. As life goes on, it may not even seem obvious when an interest is no longer shared. When this happens, it is important to recognize when an interest has completely diverged, and course correct by reconnecting with another shared interest. Checking in with each other also shows up physically, where Leslyn believes things such as cuddling or checking in, in a similar manner is important to maintaining a happy marriage.Scheduling relationship maintenance time is also crucial to a healthy relationship. This can be in the form of date nights, a weekend away, or checking in with a marriage counselor or coach. Leslyn suggests that this must be on your calendar with a plan in place, a budget to follow, and completion of the time together. Having your partners back and showing loyalty benefit the couple immensely as well as forgiving often when it comes to mistakes. It’s important to remember that accidents and mistakes happen once, but when it repeats that action becomes a choice and now is a problem in the relationship. The last point to maintaining a healthy relationship is to let things go. Bringing up old stuff in the relationship will never amount to moving forward in the relationship.This week’s try this at home is to check in with your relationship to take part in a relationship tune-up. To have a healthy relationship, you communicate well, appreciate each other, have something to look forward to, regularly check in, share interests, cuddle often, have date nights, stay loyal, forgive, and let things go. When you are able to accomplish these things in your relationship, that is when it becomes a magic marriage.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Year End ReviewOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Last Week’s Try This at Home Episode: The Death of a Relationship[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/10/13/the-death-of-a-relationship]Try This at Home’s Episode 12: Communication Styles[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/16/communication-styles]Try This at Home’s Episode 13: 8 Rules for Better Communication[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/21/8-rules-for-better-communication]Try This at Home’s Episode 14: Getting Defensive – Part 1[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/25/getting-defensive-part-1]Try This at Home’s Episode 15: Getting Defensive – Part 2[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/25/getting-defensive-part-2]Try This at Home’s Episode 16: How to Win Fights[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/5/8/how-to-win-fights]Try This at Home’s Episode 17: Communication Pitfalls[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/5/8/communication-pitfalls]Try This at Home’s Episode 19: Listening Like a Champ[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/6/3/19-listening-like-a-champ]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5Q

On the last episode of Season 2 of Try This at Home, Leslie and Leslyn start off by reviewing some of the changes the podcast has faced in light of the COVID-19 pandemic and move into a reflection of the year as a whole. In the beginning of the second season, Leslie and Leslyn started by catching up and really defining the idea behind Try This at Home. The reasonings behind Try This at Home, and at this point the 80 Try This at Home’s that have been shared over the episodes, is to try to motivate the listener to think about what they can do at home to improve their overall quality of life.This improvement or change is not always an enormous one and often the most lasting changes in life come from the small things we do. Leslyn shares a quote by Confucius, “The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” Lasting change is achieved by doing one thing at a time. This is eluded to in a number of the episodes specially seen in the episodes that cover random kindness, friendship, social media, and connection.Leslyn’s favorite episodes of the season were those that focused on deep introspective questions. Episodes such as passive permission, what is truth, and what is normal. While Leslie’s favorite episodes of the seasons revolved around the topics surrounding the pandemic as it has become a part of living history. Leslyn also shares that the podcasts covering pandemic life had the main focus of adaptation and patience. Another favorite of season two were the book review episodes at the beginning of the season. As an avid book lover, Leslie offers a book recommendation for the winter months called Dream Daughter by Diane Chamberlain. Leslyn gives the listeners a movie recommendation titled The Christmas Shoes.While we are still living the pandemic life, Leslie and Leslyn share their plans for the holidays and some of the big plans they have before the year is over. Leslie and Leslyn share that if you find yourself at home over the break and just need a little boost, some heavy thinking time, or even to stimulate some conversation around your dinner table, there are numerous episodes that offer you help on how to apply the little things in your life.By the time this episode is out, the election will be over and regardless of the outcome, you may find yourself needing to go back and listen to some of the Try This at Home’s episodes. Leslie and Leslyn recommend starting with the episodes on communication, negativity, and kindness. It’s important to remember that survival is about adaptation. Peace, love, joy, and connection does not come from defining right and wrong or creating a right or wrong argument. You must learn to look at differences and find a way to respect and accept those differences.This week’s Try This at Home is to pay attention to the little things that you can do to move mountains. What is your contribution to moving the mountains in your world?Join us again for season 3 coming back to your favorite steaming platforms February 2021!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: See You Next Season!!One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Leslie’s Book Recommendation: The Dream Daughter by Diane Chamberlain[https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37638145-the-dream-daughter]Leslyn’s Movie Recommendation: The Christmas Shoes[https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0330152/]Episodes to Reflect Back On:Try This at Home’s Episode 234: Coping with Disappointment[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/9/22/coping-with-disappointment]Try This at Home’s Episode 229: Fostering Positivity[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/8/19/229]Try This at Home’s Episode 220: Coping with Negativity[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/6/3/220-coping-with-negativity]Try This at Home’s Episode 202: Random Kindness[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/2/1/202-random-kindness]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

Episode Notes:Leslie and Leslyn begin the episode explaining their interpretation of ‘life changing’ when it comes to books that have facilitated in personal growth and retrospection. These books did not incite dramatic life changing events but instead planted the seeds to grow.Leslie’s first book recommendation is Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits by Gretchen Rubin. Leslie shares the quote, “How we schedule our days is how we spend our lives.” It’s the biggest thing she learned from the book, as the little things that we do repeatedly everyday make a huge impact in our lives. Leslie also shares the quote, “The biggest waste of time is to do well in the thing that we need to do at all.” The overall message of the book is something that Leslie has thought about countless times.Leslyn’s first book recommendation is Complete Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue by Neale Donald Walsch. Leslyn shares the quote, “Religion asks you to learn from the experience of others, spirituality urges you to seek your own.” This book spoke to Leslyn and helped her seek her own understanding of what it means to be spiritual. Leslyn believes that this book took all the things that Leslyn believed in and loved about her Catholicism and her Christian faith and put it in a way that allowed her to consider a much broader understanding of what it meant for her to be a spiritual person. This is the book that Leslyn has recommended more than any other piece because it allowed her to open her mind.The second book recommendation from Leslie is Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams by Mark Batterson. The main focus of the text is surrounding prayer. Leslie’s takeaway is that before she was not as persistent with prayer as she would like to be. A quote that stood out for Leslie was, “Every miracle starts as a problem.” Often times we do not think about the problems and thing it will turn into something positive. This book, Leslie credits, for changing the way she thought about prayer and the things she saw she could improve and did improve on.Leslyn’s second book recommendation is Messages from the Masters by Brian Weiss. Written by a traditional psychotherapist, he found one of his patients when under hypnosis for pain began to recall past life traumas that seem to be the cause of her recurring nightmares and anxiety attacks. The takeaway for Leslyn is that love is never a dependency and at all times you can practice the experience of love. It helped Leslyn stay focused and grounded in love during some of the toughest time of her life.Leslie’s last book recommendation is Keep It Shut: What to Say, How to Say It, and When to Say Nothing at All by Karen Ehman. Leslie originally became interested in this book as she finds she is a pretty open book about life and she sometimes forgets that not everyone is like that. This book helps a number of practical pieces and let Leslie understand that she didn’t need to tell everyone everything.Leslyn’s last book recommendation, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. The book is described as “a powerful new vision that encourages to dare greatly, to embrace vulnerability, and imperfection to live whole heartedly and courageously engage in our lives.” A powerful ideal, Leslyn shares the book talks about shame and how it is the cornerstone of disfunction. This book helped Leslyn expose herself and learn that it is okay to not hide behind things.This week’s Try This at Home is to discover what book recommendations you can identify with and what you should add to your next book list!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Marriage CancersOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Gretchen Rubin | Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits[https://www.amazon.com/Better-Than-Before-Habits-Procrastinate/dp/0385348630]Neale Donald Walsch The Complete Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue[https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Conversations-Neale-Donald-Walsch/dp/0399153292]Mark Batterson | The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears[https://www.amazon.com/The-Circle-Maker-Mark-Batterson-audiobook/dp/B006RVEP3E]Brian Weiss | Messages from the Masters: Tapping into the Power of Love[https://www.amazon.com/Messages-Masters-Tapping-into-Power/dp/0446676926]Karen Ehman | Keep It Shut: What to Say, How to Say It, and When to Say Nothing at All[https://www.amazon.com/Keep-Shut-What-When-Nothing/dp/0310339642]Brené Brown | Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love Parent, and Lead[https://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592408419]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

This is a topic that has been on Leslie and Leslyn’s list since starting the podcast. If you’re in a relationship whether it be only a few months or many, many years, there are challenges to being in a relationship.They start off the episode discussing the relationship issues surrounding fidelity. Leslyn shares that a huge percentage of people who deal with fidelity never even reach counseling for these issues. Those that do, Leslyn starts off the couple’s therapy by stating that if the couple is invested in saving the marriage and they do the work there is a 50% change that they can make that happen. It’s important to note that affairs do not happen in healthy relationship as the relationship is typically not vulnerable to someone outside of marriage if it is healthy. Leslyn continues by stating if we want to take care of something and keep it, it requires maintenance. We maintain our homes, cars, lawn, furnace, and even our own health. Why not a relationship? Everything that we want to keep requires maintenance and relationships should not be different.Bickering is another challenge that can face couples in a relationship. It’s important to understand what connotation bickering may hold for you. Bickering is unhealthy when it includes backstabbing or degrading comments about one another. Leslyn shares a story about a couple who fights all the time. For the husband, he picked up the pattern by watching is parents and saw it as a normal part of the relationship. While the wife had never seen her parents bicker or have a disagreement. You must find a middle ground that is comfortable for both sides.Criticism can often be more subtle downplays than seen in bickering. Criticism over time all by itself can be caner to a relationship, it breaks down the ego and esteem of the person who is being criticized. Leslyn states that no one want to be around you if they will feel less than when they are with you. This can bleed into the next point, name-calling. This can be called contempt and Leslyn believes it is the single most destructive thing that can happen in a relationship. Calling your significant other degrading and inappropriate things can break them down. When we allow ourselves to be treated this way or be disrespected, or if we are the one disrespecting a person who deserves human compassion, we can never start on the right foot. When you are mad if you feel that you must use that language, you can write it down and throw it out but do not speak it to the person that you just said I love you to.Another incredibly destructive thing to relationships is inattention. It often will be seen by one partner as something they were not aware of, which is probably part of the problem that is rising. If you are not paying attention, your partner can feel that. Checking in and making a connection with your loved one is crucial and can prevent things from turning into more of a roommate situation. Roommates will be good co-parents but do not make any time for each other. They are platonically connected but there is no romantic engagement occurring anymore. Absence in physicality can cause issues in a relationship. Without physical connection, problems ensue. Physicality of some kind is important in keeping passion and suggestion more alive in the relationship.Threats to leave is when the idea of plan B comes into play. How can someone feel safe and secure if their partner is threatening to leave or the person feels like they are being pushed away. Threats to leave are not usually coming from a place that the person could not survive without their partner but instead it is used as a control tactic or because fear of not getting what we want so we push people away. Usually the thing that we want is love.The last point, Leslyn shares is something that she would change in the world if she could and that is assumptions. When we make assumptions, we are anticipating a reaction based on an assumption that we have. Assumptions prevent you from living fully and make room for misinterpretations and mistakes. It is important to say that you can make assumptions if you have double checked and validated the assumption. Unvalidated assumptions are routed in discourse and leave the door open for disappointment.Today’s Try This at Home is to make sure that you cover this list with yourself and note if there are any pieces that need maintenance in your relationship. Check in with you partner and seek counseling if necessary.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: How to Maintain a Healthy MarriageOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comCan’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!