Podcasts about As seen on TV

Nice work runners! / The man loves his Old Spaghetti Factory / What have you bought that was "As seen on TV" / 1950's expectations for 5 year olds is nuts / Which NHL team is the most popular? / Tom Selleck as Indiana Jones!?

Kevin Harrington takes us on a thrilling journey from his early days as the pioneer of the infomercial industry to becoming a powerhouse investor and Shark Tank celebrity. With remarkable candor, he reveals how acquiring unused cable television time in the 1980s launched his career and led to building multiple public companies and completing over 1,000 business transactions.The true magic of Harrington's success lies in his ability to adapt to changing market conditions. When he noticed television viewership declining as younger generations flocked to TikTok and Instagram, he pivoted away from his As Seen On TV empire toward digital marketing strategies. This foresight led to one of his most spectacular investments—Celsius energy drink—which he joined as a board member when shares were just $0.10, helping build it into a $20 billion company without spending a single dollar on television advertising.Make sure to download as we bring the best centimillionaires and billionaires interviews on the Accredited Investor Podcast. To learn more about Jonathan's recession resilient mobile home park real estate Fund & Flex Space Development investments for Accredited Investors: https://www.midwestparkcapital.com/To learn more about Jonathan's business growth consulting and fractional CMO services, and digital marketing for small businesses:https://www.revenueascend.com/consulting/The Family Office Club was founded in 2007 and has now become the world's largest association in the industry with over 7,500 registered ultra-wealthy investors-Richard C. Wilson is the partner of the Accredited Investor Podcast: https://familyoffices.com/To get your very own podcast guesting tour of 20, 40 or 60 episodes as a guest and become the celebrity thought leader in your industry: https://getpodcastbookings.com/Sign up to get on the list for the World's Most Exclusive Social Networking App: https://www.prestigesocialapp.com/To those looking to potential exit or sell their business or talk about potential business roll up partnerships:https://www.businesscashout.com/Join one of the fastest growing real estate groups on Facebook, which is our 27,400 Multifamily Investor Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/451061265284414To learn more about mobile home investing, acquiring your first mobile home park:  https://www.mobilehomewealthacademy.com  https://linktr.ee/jonathantuttle

John & Heidi share funny stories of people doing weird things... plus we continue our segment #AsSeenOnTV as John chats with Brooke Burns - Tic Tac DoughLearn more about our radio program, podcast & blog at www.JohnAndHeidiShow.com

Raizel and Malya are back after a long spring break to schmooze about their Passover seders and discuss As Seen on TV by Meredith Schorr.

First actual mix in a long time, hope you guys enjoy. This is my first mix with 99.9% Original -Ū. music only with the exception of the intro for dramatic effect. Hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks for listening. Here's a screenplay of enter the multiverse to coincide with the commemoration of the SNL 50's anniversary/ L E G E N D S crossover. Fun Fact: The First appearence of Liz Lemon in this show {Enter The Multiverse} is in season one, which first aired in May of 2021. The 1st and subsequent seasons will soon be avalible for reading and listening on my website https://www.iamu.guru. Enjoy this mix and the avaliable downloads you'll find there and stay tuned for upcoming stuff. Just a reminder, all of my content is totally free for download. If you enjoy this series, drop a like and subscribe and follow on your favorite streaming platforms and all of my channels. Thanks for your continued support and listens/reads. Happy Passover; blessings and peace to you. -blu. INT. ALIEN SPACESHIP - DAY The cramped, metallic interior of an alien spacecraft. Two bizarre, multi-limbed ALIENS are locked in a furious argument. The sounds are not words, but a cacophony of distorted electronic noises. ALIEN 1 (A series of rapid, high-pitched BLIPS and WHIRS) ALIEN 2 (A deep, guttural GROWL followed by a drawn-out, wavering TONE) ALIEN 1 BLIM-BLIM-BLIM-BLIM— FLAU—FLAU—FLAU! ALIEN 2 —————EeeeeEeeeeeEEEEEEEEENNMMMMMMMMMNGGGGGGGGG!!! ALIEN 1 Wfuh! Alien 2 makes a highly offensive hand gesture. Alien 1 responds with a highly offensive gesture using another body part. Suddenly, RACHEL DRATCH, dressed impeccably and radiating an air of cool detachment, enters the scene and calmly observes the arguing aliens. RACHEL DRATCH (To herself, almost a whisper) Well, this is… something. CUT TO: INT. ROCKEFELLER PLAZA - SUNNI BLU'S OFFICE - DAY SUNNI BLU, sharp and impeccably dressed, stares with wide eyes at a ridiculously large ELECTRICITY BILL. Sunlight streams through the massive windows overlooking Rockefeller Plaza. SUNNI BLU (Muttering) Since when did keeping the lights on cost this much? Absorbing ConEd was supposed to *save* money. Suddenly, a disembodied VOICE echoes in the room. VOICE (V.O.) You will fail this test. SUNNI BLU (Startled) There's a test?! What test?! VOICE (V.O.) It came with a lesson— you didn't think there was going to be a test. CUT TO: EXT. THE LONELY ISLAND CLIFF - DAY ANDY (ALEKSI), dressed in surprisingly clean white robes despite the precarious location, stands on the edge of a towering cliff overlooking a vast ocean. He takes a running leap off the edge. ANDY —NO… He plummets downwards for a beat. Then, with a gentle WHOOSH, he lands perfectly upright on the sandy beach below. ANDY (CONT'D) I told you I could stick the landing. ALEKSI (V.O.) It wasn't always The Lonely Island… CUT TO: INT. HEAVENLY WAITING ROOM - DAY ALEKSI (ANDY SANDBERG), now with subtle, mischievous angelic wings, winks directly at the camera. ALEKSI guardian angel. TINA (O.S.) Whatever. Tina FEY, also with small, slightly more exasperated-looking wings, enters. ALEKSI winks extra harder at her. ALEKSI Hello. TINA Oh my God! ALEKSI I wish! At this point, I wish— unfortunately, those aren't the types of wishes I'm in charge of overseeing. A large, ornate PACKAGE appears unexpectedly at TINA's feet. TINA (CONT'D) When something appears unexpectedly at your doorstep, it's called a windfall, right? ALEKSI Yeah. I think that's what this is. TINA And when it's something you really need, it's a gift from God. Isn't it? ALEKSI Something like that. TINA Honestly, I thought it was just a gentler way of letting me know I was ugly— after a particularly horrible photo opportunity at the airport. ALEKSI —wow. TINA I had just been up for 72 plus hours straight and only slept something like 4 or 5–but of course— FLASHBACK: INT. AIRPORT SECURITY - EARLY MORNING A haggard and disheveled TINA sits slumped on a lopsided BEANBAG in the middle of the bustling security line. Bright lights shine in her face as various machines WHIR and BEEP, scanning her. TINA (V.O.) This was staggered sleep from atop a lopsided beanbag. TINA (Muttering) Agh, God! TINA (V.O.) I've been getting used to having lights shined in my face for awhile now. Still, I was not so ready for a full work up of my biometrics in this early morning crusade to Los Angeles. A stern-faced AGENT approaches her. AGENT The Agency thought you were terminally ill. TINA Terminally? Geez. The AGENT clears his throat. AGENT Consider this as, ah— Hm. Ojo translates directly to Eye. Doesn't it? TINA I see you. AGENT Undoubtedly. —an incentives. TINA I don't need anymore incentives, Captain. I need income. AGENT Oh, I'm the captain now? TINA You were always the captain. AGENT This is news to me. TINA News to the News. That's something new. AGENT Nothing is new. TINA But it's news to you. Sarcasm. I need a paycheck. AGENT Try looking pretty. TINA I tried. It didn't work. AGENT Try…harder. TINA (V.O.) New York had put spots and marks on my faces— a broken blood vessel from fighting some demonized African girl— and I'm sure that was what she was, after all… FLASHBACK: INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT TINA is struggling in a bizarre fight with a shadowy FIGURE. The scene has a surreal, “As Seen On TV” commercial feel. VOICEOVER (V.O.) Who tries to kill you, and then does their hair to be more like yours? That's major weird. TINA Major Tom. SHADOWY FIGURE Yeah. TINA (V.O.) Then again, since moving to New York… Oh, Holy shit. Everything is major weird. A shimmering PORTAL opens in the middle of the apartment. TITLE CARD: AS SEEN ON TV: PART III TINA (Staring at the portal) Where the fuck is part one and two?! SHADOWY FIGURE Maybe it starts at three! TINA Nothing “starts at three” SHADOWY FIGURE Maybe it's like Star Wars! TINA It's not like Star Wars! A CATACLYSMIC SPACESHIP COLLISION and EXPLOSION sound effect. TINA (CONT'D) …it's not like Star Wars. SHADOWY FIGURE Uh huh. It's better than star wars. A giant collective GASP is heard. TINA -_- *the world stops* TINA (CONT'D) -_- Suddenly, all sound ceases. TINA (CONT'D) Woah. That's different. SHADOWY FIGURE There: I fixed overpopulation. TINA But— SHADOWY FIGURE But what? I fixed it. TINA But— weren't some of those fans, also fans of this show. SHADOWY FIGURE Yeah, so? TINA Like an overwhelming majority. SHADOWY FIGURE Majority? Yeah— they're— These are nerds. TINA Fuck. Right. So where did you send them?! SHADOWY FIGURE Uh. Only to heaven. TINA What does that mean. SHADOWY FIGURE Heaven for any Star Wars fan— TINA Where is that. SHADOWY FIGURE The world where all of that stuff— is real. TINA What—what do you mean by that. SHADOWY FIGURE I sent them to Star World. TINA That sounds so fucking gay. SHADOWY FIGURE Cause it is. TINA Fuck. Oh, that's right— Non-star wars fans are sometimes Cynics Read: Major fucking assholes. I guess I fall into that category, eh— a little bit? SHADOWY FIGURE No duh. TINA “No duh.” What part of the nineties was your heyday? SHADOWY FIGURE All of them. TINA Jesus, Tina. You might be ancient. SHADOWY FIGURE I'm dust. TINA Hey— What. Why are you my assistant now. SHADOWY FIGURE Assistant? No. I'm your executive producer. TINA ExeCUTEive producer— you do put the cute in that. SHADOWY FIGURE (Not being cute, unamused, but still very cute) Ugh. Fine. SUDAKIS. JASON SUDAKIS appears CONT'D. And nobody cares, of course Because she is formerly gorgeous (Not no more) I'm standing on four paws I'm studying your laws If this was your office I'm your boss And I caught you taking your clothes off You're boring, I started to doze off Don't call me no more, hoe So now your broke You started a war slamming doors Because you can't find no more work Hoe Karen and Becky are probably blessings Cause they do not get me But I'm doing better and yet They are starting to sweat cause I'm starting to flex They're slamming the door They're starting a war They never been homeless before Or hungry and poor But no peace of mind? It's fine I'll probably find in time That they crossed the line And get left behind The red dots are trying To plot I'm crying a lot, I'm out of the box, jack I spring up but I do not pop I'm talking to God, He's telling you off, I'm calling him “her”, She's telling me “Sure, I'm not really sure, But I got the cure for your disease The God of Mercy, Mercy Me I got my first Mercedes in 1993 Look at me. CUT TO: INT. BACKSTAGE - NIGHT A very tall, redheaded SHOWMAN (CONAN O'BRIEN, though slightly off) has just finished a days-long BENDER. He is not the polished figure America knows. He shakily lines up a mysterious white substance on a grimy surface. CONAN (Muttering) Just… need… a little… pick-me-up. A mysterious FIGURE appears silently behind him. FIGURE Feeling better, Conan? Conan looks up, bleary-eyed, barely lifting his head. CONAN (Slurring) I don't know what you're saying. CONAN (V.O.) Apparently, that was the line, and I felt like I was crossing into a strange territory with this, one Conan O'Brien, and almost absolutely certain I was spelling his name wrong, but continued to do so anyway— one, because I refused to look him up, and two— because if ever I entered into a plot hole deep enough the mechanics of my own knowledge of hyper and multidimensional space travels to explain, then having a Conan O'Brien and a Conan O'Brian might become useful. Today, I want useful, because I wanted to go back to sleep with enough energy to still wake up with enough energy to run a mile on the full sized treadmill downstairs. Then, I had day-people things to do— and for whatever reason, this seemed like one of them. It was a welcome deviation from— A boisterous, red-faced MAN stumbles into the room. MAN O'Fallon, you old coot! CONAN (Confused) Oh year. MAN I told you the Irish were coming. *the fighting Irish. CONAN Ah yes, the fighting Irish— CONAN (V.O.) Apparently, this was some centuries long kind of battle between ancient clans//and so, I did my very best o find my way out of it, until A fierce, heavily tattooed WOMAN bursts in. WOMAN MUNROE!!!!! (V.O.) —i was found out. My surname was Scottish, but nonetheless, it was a fied older than borders were, anyway. CUT TO: EXT. MUSIC FESTIVAL - DAY A chaotic, vibrant music festival. ANDY (ALEKSI) approaches a gruff-looking SECURITY GUARD. ANDY Yo. SECURITY GUARD What's good. ANDY What's your deal with the KKK, anyway? SECURITY GUARD (Scoffs) I like them. They're funny. ANDY They— want to kill you. SECURITY GUARD That doesn't make them any less funny. In fact, now they might be more funny. ANDY Are you serious? SECURITY GUARD No, I'm funny. I like them blonde, Tall, dark skinned, Woah, scratch that. Narrow down my picks I like them Icelandic And Slavic Oh dear I like them impossible to topple over, No, God— Nevermind; I like them whiter than light snow on a cold night There you go I like them strong— But only in thought forms Keyboard warrior, But I'd like to get her in a choke hold So she'll stop snoring Oh God No Lord— I should win an award for this song I should win an award for this song I should win an award for this song MORGAN FREEMAN (V.O.) ANOTHER nomination. ANDY No way. This is crazy. ANDY spots SUNNI BLU in the crowd, looking stressed. ANDY (CONT'D) SUNNI, Do you have the academy on your payroll? SUNNI BLU (Shouting over the music) Ask the accountant? A stereotypical SUPER JEW ACCOUNTANT, complete with a large yarmulke and clutching a ledger, scurries past. SUPER JEW ACCOUNTANT actually, surprisingly, I think you're on theirs! See! SUNNI BLU Seriously?!! That's not anti semitic at all. (It's not, it's pro-semitic) More Jews and Rosecurucians More Jews and Rosicrucians! I took a bite out of you, And now I want my life back! Sharks. (And surfboards) More news and prosecutions More blues and resurrections More impossible erections Interject— —I should probably call a doctor. It's been way more than four hours. I have way more than four houses— I've way more than four flowers, I've way more than four dollars— I've way more than four collars with sparkles on them. I wear cargo pants for the ride home though. No homo. CUT TO: INT. HEADQUARTERS INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY CC (NATALIE PORTMAN, though not explicitly stated) enters the stark interrogation room. A MAN sits at a metal table, wrists chained. CC sits down opposite him, calm and composed. MAN I… am a trained assassin. CC That's— impressive. MAN There are people who want to murder you. CC Now I'm impressed with myself. MAN Is that so. CC Yes! Ah. Delighted, actually. MAN Who are you? CC “A charismatic number” writes the New York Times review of my most recently cherished endeavor. Which means for once in your life you might have actually been on time. Or just late enough, or just early enough, or— you know. It starts where I get there, or they were just waiting for me anyway. You know. Or you don't. MAN I don't. CC Then you should have plenty of time for self study between now and your execution. MAN Hah! My execution?! That's where this is heading. CC What about yours? MAN What about it? CC Have or haven't you been following along that this is what I've ultimately desired. My suffering ends in peace with knowing that you, too, shall cease to exist. INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY Other DETECTIVES watch the interrogation through a one-way mirror, their faces grim. DETECTIVE 1 What could possibly be going on in there? DETECTIVE 2 Anything. DETECTIVE 3 I wonder what she's saying. DETECTIVE 1 Anything. DETECTIVE 2 Looks like she has him cornered. DETECTIVE 3 Maybe. DETECTIVE 1 Jesus, can you speak in anything more than one word sentences. DETECTIVE 2 No. BACK IN THE INTERROGATION ROOM, a heavy silence hangs in the air. MAN …Natalie? CC You wanted “CC” so I'm “CC” The MAN strains against his restraints. MAN Who who's this?! CC (V.O.) Suddenly my love affair with words and art and theatrical thoroughfare was coming to an end. This was something of a disaster set against the backdrop of a really real world— a world that seemed not to want me in it. CUT TO: EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET - DAY LIZ LEMON (TINA FEY) walks down a crowded street, furiously dialing her cellphone. LIZ LEMON (Into phone, angry) Hello? CUT TO: EXT. MARDI GRAS PARADE - NEW ORLEANS - DAY TRACY JORDAN (also TINA FEY, in elaborate Mardi Gras attire) is on a vibrant parade float, throwing beads to the cheering crowd. His phone rings. TRACY JORDAN (Into phone, jovial) WHERE ARE YOU?! I'm on my way to the parade! LIZ LEMON (O.S.) I'm AT the parade! Where are YOU? TRACY JORDAN Not that parade! Mardi Gras! LIZ LEMON (O.S.) MARDI GRAS?! TRACY JORDAN Yeah! LIZ LEMON (O.S.) WHY?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON A FLOAT— In NEW YORK CITY— In 22 MINUTES. TRACY JORDAN Don't worry, I'll be there. LIZ LEMON (O.S.) YOU'LL BE THERE?! You're at a parade! In New Orleans! TRACY JORDAN It's Mardi Gras! LIZ LEMON (O.S.) I KNOW ITS— Tracy hangs up. He grins at the crowd and throws more beads. FADE OUT. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2025 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

First actual mix in a long time, hope you guys enjoy. This is my first mix with 99.9% Original -Ū. music only with the exception of the intro for dramatic effect. Hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks for listening. Here's a screenplay of enter the multiverse to coincide with the commemoration of the SNL 50's anniversary/ L E G E N D S crossover. Fun Fact: The First appearence of Liz Lemon in this show {Enter The Multiverse} is in season one, which first aired in May of 2021. The 1st and subsequent seasons will soon be avalible for reading and listening on my website https://www.iamu.guru. Enjoy this mix and the avaliable downloads you'll find there and stay tuned for upcoming stuff. Just a reminder, all of my content is totally free for download. If you enjoy this series, drop a like and subscribe and follow on your favorite streaming platforms and all of my channels. Thanks for your continued support and listens/reads. Happy Passover; blessings and peace to you. -blu. INT. ALIEN SPACESHIP - DAY The cramped, metallic interior of an alien spacecraft. Two bizarre, multi-limbed ALIENS are locked in a furious argument. The sounds are not words, but a cacophony of distorted electronic noises. ALIEN 1 (A series of rapid, high-pitched BLIPS and WHIRS) ALIEN 2 (A deep, guttural GROWL followed by a drawn-out, wavering TONE) ALIEN 1 BLIM-BLIM-BLIM-BLIM— FLAU—FLAU—FLAU! ALIEN 2 —————EeeeeEeeeeeEEEEEEEEENNMMMMMMMMMNGGGGGGGGG!!! ALIEN 1 Wfuh! Alien 2 makes a highly offensive hand gesture. Alien 1 responds with a highly offensive gesture using another body part. Suddenly, RACHEL DRATCH, dressed impeccably and radiating an air of cool detachment, enters the scene and calmly observes the arguing aliens. RACHEL DRATCH (To herself, almost a whisper) Well, this is… something. CUT TO: INT. ROCKEFELLER PLAZA - SUNNI BLU'S OFFICE - DAY SUNNI BLU, sharp and impeccably dressed, stares with wide eyes at a ridiculously large ELECTRICITY BILL. Sunlight streams through the massive windows overlooking Rockefeller Plaza. SUNNI BLU (Muttering) Since when did keeping the lights on cost this much? Absorbing ConEd was supposed to *save* money. Suddenly, a disembodied VOICE echoes in the room. VOICE (V.O.) You will fail this test. SUNNI BLU (Startled) There's a test?! What test?! VOICE (V.O.) It came with a lesson— you didn't think there was going to be a test. CUT TO: EXT. THE LONELY ISLAND CLIFF - DAY ANDY (ALEKSI), dressed in surprisingly clean white robes despite the precarious location, stands on the edge of a towering cliff overlooking a vast ocean. He takes a running leap off the edge. ANDY —NO… He plummets downwards for a beat. Then, with a gentle WHOOSH, he lands perfectly upright on the sandy beach below. ANDY (CONT'D) I told you I could stick the landing. ALEKSI (V.O.) It wasn't always The Lonely Island… CUT TO: INT. HEAVENLY WAITING ROOM - DAY ALEKSI (ANDY SANDBERG), now with subtle, mischievous angelic wings, winks directly at the camera. ALEKSI guardian angel. TINA (O.S.) Whatever. Tina FEY, also with small, slightly more exasperated-looking wings, enters. ALEKSI winks extra harder at her. ALEKSI Hello. TINA Oh my God! ALEKSI I wish! At this point, I wish— unfortunately, those aren't the types of wishes I'm in charge of overseeing. A large, ornate PACKAGE appears unexpectedly at TINA's feet. TINA (CONT'D) When something appears unexpectedly at your doorstep, it's called a windfall, right? ALEKSI Yeah. I think that's what this is. TINA And when it's something you really need, it's a gift from God. Isn't it? ALEKSI Something like that. TINA Honestly, I thought it was just a gentler way of letting me know I was ugly— after a particularly horrible photo opportunity at the airport. ALEKSI —wow. TINA I had just been up for 72 plus hours straight and only slept something like 4 or 5–but of course— FLASHBACK: INT. AIRPORT SECURITY - EARLY MORNING A haggard and disheveled TINA sits slumped on a lopsided BEANBAG in the middle of the bustling security line. Bright lights shine in her face as various machines WHIR and BEEP, scanning her. TINA (V.O.) This was staggered sleep from atop a lopsided beanbag. TINA (Muttering) Agh, God! TINA (V.O.) I've been getting used to having lights shined in my face for awhile now. Still, I was not so ready for a full work up of my biometrics in this early morning crusade to Los Angeles. A stern-faced AGENT approaches her. AGENT The Agency thought you were terminally ill. TINA Terminally? Geez. The AGENT clears his throat. AGENT Consider this as, ah— Hm. Ojo translates directly to Eye. Doesn't it? TINA I see you. AGENT Undoubtedly. —an incentives. TINA I don't need anymore incentives, Captain. I need income. AGENT Oh, I'm the captain now? TINA You were always the captain. AGENT This is news to me. TINA News to the News. That's something new. AGENT Nothing is new. TINA But it's news to you. Sarcasm. I need a paycheck. AGENT Try looking pretty. TINA I tried. It didn't work. AGENT Try…harder. TINA (V.O.) New York had put spots and marks on my faces— a broken blood vessel from fighting some demonized African girl— and I'm sure that was what she was, after all… FLASHBACK: INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT TINA is struggling in a bizarre fight with a shadowy FIGURE. The scene has a surreal, “As Seen On TV” commercial feel. VOICEOVER (V.O.) Who tries to kill you, and then does their hair to be more like yours? That's major weird. TINA Major Tom. SHADOWY FIGURE Yeah. TINA (V.O.) Then again, since moving to New York… Oh, Holy shit. Everything is major weird. A shimmering PORTAL opens in the middle of the apartment. TITLE CARD: AS SEEN ON TV: PART III TINA (Staring at the portal) Where the fuck is part one and two?! SHADOWY FIGURE Maybe it starts at three! TINA Nothing “starts at three” SHADOWY FIGURE Maybe it's like Star Wars! TINA It's not like Star Wars! A CATACLYSMIC SPACESHIP COLLISION and EXPLOSION sound effect. TINA (CONT'D) …it's not like Star Wars. SHADOWY FIGURE Uh huh. It's better than star wars. A giant collective GASP is heard. TINA -_- *the world stops* TINA (CONT'D) -_- Suddenly, all sound ceases. TINA (CONT'D) Woah. That's different. SHADOWY FIGURE There: I fixed overpopulation. TINA But— SHADOWY FIGURE But what? I fixed it. TINA But— weren't some of those fans, also fans of this show. SHADOWY FIGURE Yeah, so? TINA Like an overwhelming majority. SHADOWY FIGURE Majority? Yeah— they're— These are nerds. TINA Fuck. Right. So where did you send them?! SHADOWY FIGURE Uh. Only to heaven. TINA What does that mean. SHADOWY FIGURE Heaven for any Star Wars fan— TINA Where is that. SHADOWY FIGURE The world where all of that stuff— is real. TINA What—what do you mean by that. SHADOWY FIGURE I sent them to Star World. TINA That sounds so fucking gay. SHADOWY FIGURE Cause it is. TINA Fuck. Oh, that's right— Non-star wars fans are sometimes Cynics Read: Major fucking assholes. I guess I fall into that category, eh— a little bit? SHADOWY FIGURE No duh. TINA “No duh.” What part of the nineties was your heyday? SHADOWY FIGURE All of them. TINA Jesus, Tina. You might be ancient. SHADOWY FIGURE I'm dust. TINA Hey— What. Why are you my assistant now. SHADOWY FIGURE Assistant? No. I'm your executive producer. TINA ExeCUTEive producer— you do put the cute in that. SHADOWY FIGURE (Not being cute, unamused, but still very cute) Ugh. Fine. SUDAKIS. JASON SUDAKIS appears CONT'D. And nobody cares, of course Because she is formerly gorgeous (Not no more) I'm standing on four paws I'm studying your laws If this was your office I'm your boss And I caught you taking your clothes off You're boring, I started to doze off Don't call me no more, hoe So now your broke You started a war slamming doors Because you can't find no more work Hoe Karen and Becky are probably blessings Cause they do not get me But I'm doing better and yet They are starting to sweat cause I'm starting to flex They're slamming the door They're starting a war They never been homeless before Or hungry and poor But no peace of mind? It's fine I'll probably find in time That they crossed the line And get left behind The red dots are trying To plot I'm crying a lot, I'm out of the box, jack I spring up but I do not pop I'm talking to God, He's telling you off, I'm calling him “her”, She's telling me “Sure, I'm not really sure, But I got the cure for your disease The God of Mercy, Mercy Me I got my first Mercedes in 1993 Look at me. CUT TO: INT. BACKSTAGE - NIGHT A very tall, redheaded SHOWMAN (CONAN O'BRIEN, though slightly off) has just finished a days-long BENDER. He is not the polished figure America knows. He shakily lines up a mysterious white substance on a grimy surface. CONAN (Muttering) Just… need… a little… pick-me-up. A mysterious FIGURE appears silently behind him. FIGURE Feeling better, Conan? Conan looks up, bleary-eyed, barely lifting his head. CONAN (Slurring) I don't know what you're saying. CONAN (V.O.) Apparently, that was the line, and I felt like I was crossing into a strange territory with this, one Conan O'Brien, and almost absolutely certain I was spelling his name wrong, but continued to do so anyway— one, because I refused to look him up, and two— because if ever I entered into a plot hole deep enough the mechanics of my own knowledge of hyper and multidimensional space travels to explain, then having a Conan O'Brien and a Conan O'Brian might become useful. Today, I want useful, because I wanted to go back to sleep with enough energy to still wake up with enough energy to run a mile on the full sized treadmill downstairs. Then, I had day-people things to do— and for whatever reason, this seemed like one of them. It was a welcome deviation from— A boisterous, red-faced MAN stumbles into the room. MAN O'Fallon, you old coot! CONAN (Confused) Oh year. MAN I told you the Irish were coming. *the fighting Irish. CONAN Ah yes, the fighting Irish— CONAN (V.O.) Apparently, this was some centuries long kind of battle between ancient clans//and so, I did my very best o find my way out of it, until A fierce, heavily tattooed WOMAN bursts in. WOMAN MUNROE!!!!! (V.O.) —i was found out. My surname was Scottish, but nonetheless, it was a fied older than borders were, anyway. CUT TO: EXT. MUSIC FESTIVAL - DAY A chaotic, vibrant music festival. ANDY (ALEKSI) approaches a gruff-looking SECURITY GUARD. ANDY Yo. SECURITY GUARD What's good. ANDY What's your deal with the KKK, anyway? SECURITY GUARD (Scoffs) I like them. They're funny. ANDY They— want to kill you. SECURITY GUARD That doesn't make them any less funny. In fact, now they might be more funny. ANDY Are you serious? SECURITY GUARD No, I'm funny. I like them blonde, Tall, dark skinned, Woah, scratch that. Narrow down my picks I like them Icelandic And Slavic Oh dear I like them impossible to topple over, No, God— Nevermind; I like them whiter than light snow on a cold night There you go I like them strong— But only in thought forms Keyboard warrior, But I'd like to get her in a choke hold So she'll stop snoring Oh God No Lord— I should win an award for this song I should win an award for this song I should win an award for this song MORGAN FREEMAN (V.O.) ANOTHER nomination. ANDY No way. This is crazy. ANDY spots SUNNI BLU in the crowd, looking stressed. ANDY (CONT'D) SUNNI, Do you have the academy on your payroll? SUNNI BLU (Shouting over the music) Ask the accountant? A stereotypical SUPER JEW ACCOUNTANT, complete with a large yarmulke and clutching a ledger, scurries past. SUPER JEW ACCOUNTANT actually, surprisingly, I think you're on theirs! See! SUNNI BLU Seriously?!! That's not anti semitic at all. (It's not, it's pro-semitic) More Jews and Rosecurucians More Jews and Rosicrucians! I took a bite out of you, And now I want my life back! Sharks. (And surfboards) More news and prosecutions More blues and resurrections More impossible erections Interject— —I should probably call a doctor. It's been way more than four hours. I have way more than four houses— I've way more than four flowers, I've way more than four dollars— I've way more than four collars with sparkles on them. I wear cargo pants for the ride home though. No homo. CUT TO: INT. HEADQUARTERS INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY CC (NATALIE PORTMAN, though not explicitly stated) enters the stark interrogation room. A MAN sits at a metal table, wrists chained. CC sits down opposite him, calm and composed. MAN I… am a trained assassin. CC That's— impressive. MAN There are people who want to murder you. CC Now I'm impressed with myself. MAN Is that so. CC Yes! Ah. Delighted, actually. MAN Who are you? CC “A charismatic number” writes the New York Times review of my most recently cherished endeavor. Which means for once in your life you might have actually been on time. Or just late enough, or just early enough, or— you know. It starts where I get there, or they were just waiting for me anyway. You know. Or you don't. MAN I don't. CC Then you should have plenty of time for self study between now and your execution. MAN Hah! My execution?! That's where this is heading. CC What about yours? MAN What about it? CC Have or haven't you been following along that this is what I've ultimately desired. My suffering ends in peace with knowing that you, too, shall cease to exist. INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY Other DETECTIVES watch the interrogation through a one-way mirror, their faces grim. DETECTIVE 1 What could possibly be going on in there? DETECTIVE 2 Anything. DETECTIVE 3 I wonder what she's saying. DETECTIVE 1 Anything. DETECTIVE 2 Looks like she has him cornered. DETECTIVE 3 Maybe. DETECTIVE 1 Jesus, can you speak in anything more than one word sentences. DETECTIVE 2 No. BACK IN THE INTERROGATION ROOM, a heavy silence hangs in the air. MAN …Natalie? CC You wanted “CC” so I'm “CC” The MAN strains against his restraints. MAN Who who's this?! CC (V.O.) Suddenly my love affair with words and art and theatrical thoroughfare was coming to an end. This was something of a disaster set against the backdrop of a really real world— a world that seemed not to want me in it. CUT TO: EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET - DAY LIZ LEMON (TINA FEY) walks down a crowded street, furiously dialing her cellphone. LIZ LEMON (Into phone, angry) Hello? CUT TO: EXT. MARDI GRAS PARADE - NEW ORLEANS - DAY TRACY JORDAN (also TINA FEY, in elaborate Mardi Gras attire) is on a vibrant parade float, throwing beads to the cheering crowd. His phone rings. TRACY JORDAN (Into phone, jovial) WHERE ARE YOU?! I'm on my way to the parade! LIZ LEMON (O.S.) I'm AT the parade! Where are YOU? TRACY JORDAN Not that parade! Mardi Gras! LIZ LEMON (O.S.) MARDI GRAS?! TRACY JORDAN Yeah! LIZ LEMON (O.S.) WHY?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON A FLOAT— In NEW YORK CITY— In 22 MINUTES. TRACY JORDAN Don't worry, I'll be there. LIZ LEMON (O.S.) YOU'LL BE THERE?! You're at a parade! In New Orleans! TRACY JORDAN It's Mardi Gras! LIZ LEMON (O.S.) I KNOW ITS— Tracy hangs up. He grins at the crowd and throws more beads. FADE OUT. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2025 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

First actual mix in a long time, hope you guys enjoy. This is my first mix with 99.9% Original -Ū. music only with the exception of the intro for dramatic effect. Hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks for listening. Here's a screenplay of enter the multiverse to coincide with the commemoration of the SNL 50's anniversary/ L E G E N D S crossover. Fun Fact: The First appearence of Liz Lemon in this show {Enter The Multiverse} is in season one, which first aired in May of 2021. The 1st and subsequent seasons will soon be avalible for reading and listening on my website https://www.iamu.guru. Enjoy this mix and the avaliable downloads you'll find there and stay tuned for upcoming stuff. Just a reminder, all of my content is totally free for download. If you enjoy this series, drop a like and subscribe and follow on your favorite streaming platforms and all of my channels. Thanks for your continued support and listens/reads. Happy Passover; blessings and peace to you. -blu. INT. ALIEN SPACESHIP - DAY The cramped, metallic interior of an alien spacecraft. Two bizarre, multi-limbed ALIENS are locked in a furious argument. The sounds are not words, but a cacophony of distorted electronic noises. ALIEN 1 (A series of rapid, high-pitched BLIPS and WHIRS) ALIEN 2 (A deep, guttural GROWL followed by a drawn-out, wavering TONE) ALIEN 1 BLIM-BLIM-BLIM-BLIM— FLAU—FLAU—FLAU! ALIEN 2 —————EeeeeEeeeeeEEEEEEEEENNMMMMMMMMMNGGGGGGGGG!!! ALIEN 1 Wfuh! Alien 2 makes a highly offensive hand gesture. Alien 1 responds with a highly offensive gesture using another body part. Suddenly, RACHEL DRATCH, dressed impeccably and radiating an air of cool detachment, enters the scene and calmly observes the arguing aliens. RACHEL DRATCH (To herself, almost a whisper) Well, this is… something. CUT TO: INT. ROCKEFELLER PLAZA - SUNNI BLU'S OFFICE - DAY SUNNI BLU, sharp and impeccably dressed, stares with wide eyes at a ridiculously large ELECTRICITY BILL. Sunlight streams through the massive windows overlooking Rockefeller Plaza. SUNNI BLU (Muttering) Since when did keeping the lights on cost this much? Absorbing ConEd was supposed to *save* money. Suddenly, a disembodied VOICE echoes in the room. VOICE (V.O.) You will fail this test. SUNNI BLU (Startled) There's a test?! What test?! VOICE (V.O.) It came with a lesson— you didn't think there was going to be a test. CUT TO: EXT. THE LONELY ISLAND CLIFF - DAY ANDY (ALEKSI), dressed in surprisingly clean white robes despite the precarious location, stands on the edge of a towering cliff overlooking a vast ocean. He takes a running leap off the edge. ANDY —NO… He plummets downwards for a beat. Then, with a gentle WHOOSH, he lands perfectly upright on the sandy beach below. ANDY (CONT'D) I told you I could stick the landing. ALEKSI (V.O.) It wasn't always The Lonely Island… CUT TO: INT. HEAVENLY WAITING ROOM - DAY ALEKSI (ANDY SANDBERG), now with subtle, mischievous angelic wings, winks directly at the camera. ALEKSI guardian angel. TINA (O.S.) Whatever. Tina FEY, also with small, slightly more exasperated-looking wings, enters. ALEKSI winks extra harder at her. ALEKSI Hello. TINA Oh my God! ALEKSI I wish! At this point, I wish— unfortunately, those aren't the types of wishes I'm in charge of overseeing. A large, ornate PACKAGE appears unexpectedly at TINA's feet. TINA (CONT'D) When something appears unexpectedly at your doorstep, it's called a windfall, right? ALEKSI Yeah. I think that's what this is. TINA And when it's something you really need, it's a gift from God. Isn't it? ALEKSI Something like that. TINA Honestly, I thought it was just a gentler way of letting me know I was ugly— after a particularly horrible photo opportunity at the airport. ALEKSI —wow. TINA I had just been up for 72 plus hours straight and only slept something like 4 or 5–but of course— FLASHBACK: INT. AIRPORT SECURITY - EARLY MORNING A haggard and disheveled TINA sits slumped on a lopsided BEANBAG in the middle of the bustling security line. Bright lights shine in her face as various machines WHIR and BEEP, scanning her. TINA (V.O.) This was staggered sleep from atop a lopsided beanbag. TINA (Muttering) Agh, God! TINA (V.O.) I've been getting used to having lights shined in my face for awhile now. Still, I was not so ready for a full work up of my biometrics in this early morning crusade to Los Angeles. A stern-faced AGENT approaches her. AGENT The Agency thought you were terminally ill. TINA Terminally? Geez. The AGENT clears his throat. AGENT Consider this as, ah— Hm. Ojo translates directly to Eye. Doesn't it? TINA I see you. AGENT Undoubtedly. —an incentives. TINA I don't need anymore incentives, Captain. I need income. AGENT Oh, I'm the captain now? TINA You were always the captain. AGENT This is news to me. TINA News to the News. That's something new. AGENT Nothing is new. TINA But it's news to you. Sarcasm. I need a paycheck. AGENT Try looking pretty. TINA I tried. It didn't work. AGENT Try…harder. TINA (V.O.) New York had put spots and marks on my faces— a broken blood vessel from fighting some demonized African girl— and I'm sure that was what she was, after all… FLASHBACK: INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT TINA is struggling in a bizarre fight with a shadowy FIGURE. The scene has a surreal, “As Seen On TV” commercial feel. VOICEOVER (V.O.) Who tries to kill you, and then does their hair to be more like yours? That's major weird. TINA Major Tom. SHADOWY FIGURE Yeah. TINA (V.O.) Then again, since moving to New York… Oh, Holy shit. Everything is major weird. A shimmering PORTAL opens in the middle of the apartment. TITLE CARD: AS SEEN ON TV: PART III TINA (Staring at the portal) Where the fuck is part one and two?! SHADOWY FIGURE Maybe it starts at three! TINA Nothing “starts at three” SHADOWY FIGURE Maybe it's like Star Wars! TINA It's not like Star Wars! A CATACLYSMIC SPACESHIP COLLISION and EXPLOSION sound effect. TINA (CONT'D) …it's not like Star Wars. SHADOWY FIGURE Uh huh. It's better than star wars. A giant collective GASP is heard. TINA -_- *the world stops* TINA (CONT'D) -_- Suddenly, all sound ceases. TINA (CONT'D) Woah. That's different. SHADOWY FIGURE There: I fixed overpopulation. TINA But— SHADOWY FIGURE But what? I fixed it. TINA But— weren't some of those fans, also fans of this show. SHADOWY FIGURE Yeah, so? TINA Like an overwhelming majority. SHADOWY FIGURE Majority? Yeah— they're— These are nerds. TINA Fuck. Right. So where did you send them?! SHADOWY FIGURE Uh. Only to heaven. TINA What does that mean. SHADOWY FIGURE Heaven for any Star Wars fan— TINA Where is that. SHADOWY FIGURE The world where all of that stuff— is real. TINA What—what do you mean by that. SHADOWY FIGURE I sent them to Star World. TINA That sounds so fucking gay. SHADOWY FIGURE Cause it is. TINA Fuck. Oh, that's right— Non-star wars fans are sometimes Cynics Read: Major fucking assholes. I guess I fall into that category, eh— a little bit? SHADOWY FIGURE No duh. TINA “No duh.” What part of the nineties was your heyday? SHADOWY FIGURE All of them. TINA Jesus, Tina. You might be ancient. SHADOWY FIGURE I'm dust. TINA Hey— What. Why are you my assistant now. SHADOWY FIGURE Assistant? No. I'm your executive producer. TINA ExeCUTEive producer— you do put the cute in that. SHADOWY FIGURE (Not being cute, unamused, but still very cute) Ugh. Fine. SUDAKIS. JASON SUDAKIS appears CONT'D. And nobody cares, of course Because she is formerly gorgeous (Not no more) I'm standing on four paws I'm studying your laws If this was your office I'm your boss And I caught you taking your clothes off You're boring, I started to doze off Don't call me no more, hoe So now your broke You started a war slamming doors Because you can't find no more work Hoe Karen and Becky are probably blessings Cause they do not get me But I'm doing better and yet They are starting to sweat cause I'm starting to flex They're slamming the door They're starting a war They never been homeless before Or hungry and poor But no peace of mind? It's fine I'll probably find in time That they crossed the line And get left behind The red dots are trying To plot I'm crying a lot, I'm out of the box, jack I spring up but I do not pop I'm talking to God, He's telling you off, I'm calling him “her”, She's telling me “Sure, I'm not really sure, But I got the cure for your disease The God of Mercy, Mercy Me I got my first Mercedes in 1993 Look at me. CUT TO: INT. BACKSTAGE - NIGHT A very tall, redheaded SHOWMAN (CONAN O'BRIEN, though slightly off) has just finished a days-long BENDER. He is not the polished figure America knows. He shakily lines up a mysterious white substance on a grimy surface. CONAN (Muttering) Just… need… a little… pick-me-up. A mysterious FIGURE appears silently behind him. FIGURE Feeling better, Conan? Conan looks up, bleary-eyed, barely lifting his head. CONAN (Slurring) I don't know what you're saying. CONAN (V.O.) Apparently, that was the line, and I felt like I was crossing into a strange territory with this, one Conan O'Brien, and almost absolutely certain I was spelling his name wrong, but continued to do so anyway— one, because I refused to look him up, and two— because if ever I entered into a plot hole deep enough the mechanics of my own knowledge of hyper and multidimensional space travels to explain, then having a Conan O'Brien and a Conan O'Brian might become useful. Today, I want useful, because I wanted to go back to sleep with enough energy to still wake up with enough energy to run a mile on the full sized treadmill downstairs. Then, I had day-people things to do— and for whatever reason, this seemed like one of them. It was a welcome deviation from— A boisterous, red-faced MAN stumbles into the room. MAN O'Fallon, you old coot! CONAN (Confused) Oh year. MAN I told you the Irish were coming. *the fighting Irish. CONAN Ah yes, the fighting Irish— CONAN (V.O.) Apparently, this was some centuries long kind of battle between ancient clans//and so, I did my very best o find my way out of it, until A fierce, heavily tattooed WOMAN bursts in. WOMAN MUNROE!!!!! (V.O.) —i was found out. My surname was Scottish, but nonetheless, it was a fied older than borders were, anyway. CUT TO: EXT. MUSIC FESTIVAL - DAY A chaotic, vibrant music festival. ANDY (ALEKSI) approaches a gruff-looking SECURITY GUARD. ANDY Yo. SECURITY GUARD What's good. ANDY What's your deal with the KKK, anyway? SECURITY GUARD (Scoffs) I like them. They're funny. ANDY They— want to kill you. SECURITY GUARD That doesn't make them any less funny. In fact, now they might be more funny. ANDY Are you serious? SECURITY GUARD No, I'm funny. I like them blonde, Tall, dark skinned, Woah, scratch that. Narrow down my picks I like them Icelandic And Slavic Oh dear I like them impossible to topple over, No, God— Nevermind; I like them whiter than light snow on a cold night There you go I like them strong— But only in thought forms Keyboard warrior, But I'd like to get her in a choke hold So she'll stop snoring Oh God No Lord— I should win an award for this song I should win an award for this song I should win an award for this song MORGAN FREEMAN (V.O.) ANOTHER nomination. ANDY No way. This is crazy. ANDY spots SUNNI BLU in the crowd, looking stressed. ANDY (CONT'D) SUNNI, Do you have the academy on your payroll? SUNNI BLU (Shouting over the music) Ask the accountant? A stereotypical SUPER JEW ACCOUNTANT, complete with a large yarmulke and clutching a ledger, scurries past. SUPER JEW ACCOUNTANT actually, surprisingly, I think you're on theirs! See! SUNNI BLU Seriously?!! That's not anti semitic at all. (It's not, it's pro-semitic) More Jews and Rosecurucians More Jews and Rosicrucians! I took a bite out of you, And now I want my life back! Sharks. (And surfboards) More news and prosecutions More blues and resurrections More impossible erections Interject— —I should probably call a doctor. It's been way more than four hours. I have way more than four houses— I've way more than four flowers, I've way more than four dollars— I've way more than four collars with sparkles on them. I wear cargo pants for the ride home though. No homo. CUT TO: INT. HEADQUARTERS INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY CC (NATALIE PORTMAN, though not explicitly stated) enters the stark interrogation room. A MAN sits at a metal table, wrists chained. CC sits down opposite him, calm and composed. MAN I… am a trained assassin. CC That's— impressive. MAN There are people who want to murder you. CC Now I'm impressed with myself. MAN Is that so. CC Yes! Ah. Delighted, actually. MAN Who are you? CC “A charismatic number” writes the New York Times review of my most recently cherished endeavor. Which means for once in your life you might have actually been on time. Or just late enough, or just early enough, or— you know. It starts where I get there, or they were just waiting for me anyway. You know. Or you don't. MAN I don't. CC Then you should have plenty of time for self study between now and your execution. MAN Hah! My execution?! That's where this is heading. CC What about yours? MAN What about it? CC Have or haven't you been following along that this is what I've ultimately desired. My suffering ends in peace with knowing that you, too, shall cease to exist. INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY Other DETECTIVES watch the interrogation through a one-way mirror, their faces grim. DETECTIVE 1 What could possibly be going on in there? DETECTIVE 2 Anything. DETECTIVE 3 I wonder what she's saying. DETECTIVE 1 Anything. DETECTIVE 2 Looks like she has him cornered. DETECTIVE 3 Maybe. DETECTIVE 1 Jesus, can you speak in anything more than one word sentences. DETECTIVE 2 No. BACK IN THE INTERROGATION ROOM, a heavy silence hangs in the air. MAN …Natalie? CC You wanted “CC” so I'm “CC” The MAN strains against his restraints. MAN Who who's this?! CC (V.O.) Suddenly my love affair with words and art and theatrical thoroughfare was coming to an end. This was something of a disaster set against the backdrop of a really real world— a world that seemed not to want me in it. CUT TO: EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET - DAY LIZ LEMON (TINA FEY) walks down a crowded street, furiously dialing her cellphone. LIZ LEMON (Into phone, angry) Hello? CUT TO: EXT. MARDI GRAS PARADE - NEW ORLEANS - DAY TRACY JORDAN (also TINA FEY, in elaborate Mardi Gras attire) is on a vibrant parade float, throwing beads to the cheering crowd. His phone rings. TRACY JORDAN (Into phone, jovial) WHERE ARE YOU?! I'm on my way to the parade! LIZ LEMON (O.S.) I'm AT the parade! Where are YOU? TRACY JORDAN Not that parade! Mardi Gras! LIZ LEMON (O.S.) MARDI GRAS?! TRACY JORDAN Yeah! LIZ LEMON (O.S.) WHY?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON A FLOAT— In NEW YORK CITY— In 22 MINUTES. TRACY JORDAN Don't worry, I'll be there. LIZ LEMON (O.S.) YOU'LL BE THERE?! You're at a parade! In New Orleans! TRACY JORDAN It's Mardi Gras! LIZ LEMON (O.S.) I KNOW ITS— Tracy hangs up. He grins at the crowd and throws more beads. FADE OUT. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2025 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

John & Heidi share funny stories of people doing weird things... plus we continue our segment #AsSeenOnTV as John chats with Bethany Joy Lenz - Dinner For VampiresLearn more about our radio program, podcast & blog at www.JohnAndHeidiShow.com

John & Heidi share funny stories of people doing weird things... plus we continue our segment #AsSeenOnTV as John chats with Amanda Brugel- Handmaids Tale on HuluLearn more about our radio program, podcast & blog at www.JohnAndHeidiShow.com

But wait there's more…Chubstep! This week Steed and Jrad start with a thrift store modeling gig gone awry before getting into the wild world of infomercials. The guys talk everything from the very first 30 minute infomercial for Vitamix to the most successful ‘As Seen on TV' products of all time, the downfall and arrests of the spokesman, George Foreman's kids all named George Foreman, the worst infomercial products including the ‘My Perfect Goatee' and the ‘Better Marriage Blanket', the guys favorite's like the ‘Shake Weight' and ‘Fushigi', and a ‘Girl Talk' for products dealing with large chests and alternate solutions Steed has.

John & Heidi share funny stories of people doing weird things... plus we continue our segment #AsSeenOnTV as John chats with Luke And Clancey - Good Cop Bad Cop on the CWLearn more about our radio program, podcast & blog at www.JohnAndHeidiShow.com

#AsSeenOnTV classics—what's the best, and what's the worst? They're dishing on the champs like the #GeorgeForemanGrill, maybe the ultimate #WordOfMouth king—Jeff swears it grilled his college years to perfection, while Jeff is still scraping grease off his counter. #GrillGoals and that creepy #Snuggie cult vibe. #BlanketBlunders Were these gizmos genius or just late-night scams? Jeff's betting the Foreman's fat-knocking magic outshines all, but Jeremy's got a soft spot for the #ChiaPet—because who doesn't need a sprouting llama? #PetRockReject

John & Heidi share funny stories of people doing weird things... plus we continue our segment #AsSeenOnTV as John chats with Rebecca Wisocky  Ghosts on CBSLearn more about our radio program, podcast & blog at www.JohnAndHeidiShow.com

John & Heidi share funny stories of people doing weird things... plus we continue our segment #AsSeenOnTV as John chats with Melissa Rousch - Judge Abby Stone from Night CourtLearn more about our radio program, podcast & blog at www.JohnAndHeidiShow.com

John & Heidi share funny stories of people doing weird things... plus we continue our segment #AsSeenOnTV as John chats with Lauren Buglioli - Beyond The Gates CBSLearn more about our radio program, podcast & blog at www.JohnAndHeidiShow.com

Boxing legend George Foreman died over the weekend. He was also behind the George Foreman grill which was one of the bestselling "As seen on tv" products of all time! Here are some of the bestselling items they ever featured!

On today's show, we're chatting with Mackii Shaye, who calls herself a real life Valley Girl, major magazine collector, and former model. After working a lot of different jobs in the fashion industry, she took a leap to start her own vintage, shop Little Oyster Club We chat about collecting magazines, and Mackii's love for ‘as seen on TV' fashion pieces from the early 2000s — so many “oh my gosh, I remember that!!” moments from pop culture, and it's a fun one, and I think you're really gonna love it –  so let's dive right in!  DISCUSSED IN THE EPISODE: [2:35] Growing up on Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen's style, and obsessing over 90s and Y2K pop culture. [4:31] Getting into indie style, modelling, and collecting magazines in high school. [11:46] Specializing in early 2000s ‘as seen on TV' fashion moments [17:54] Starting her vintage shop, Little Oyster Club [27:00] Going to Kathy Hilton's closet sale [33:53] Her J'adore Dior tank she'll never part with [35:02] Mackii's decades long obsession with Juicy Couture EPISODE MENTIONS:  Little Oyster Club Mackii's Instagram Mackii's TikTok NYLON Magazine in 2006 with Ashley Olsen Wasteland Kaley Cuoco as Bridget Hennessy from 8 Simple Rules Lorelei in Custo at Rory's birthday Rory's ‘Reading is Sexy' tee Lorelei's ‘Yoga Kills' tee Carrie's ‘I have Nothing to Wear' tee Toby Mott @culturaltraffic @macyeleni Macy Eleni on Pre-Loved Podcast Suki Waterhouse in shorts and tights Jamie Dornan and Kiera Knightley @voulezvous Lorelei's kitty Princess tee  Mackii's Joomi Joolz collection Steph Ermer Steph Ermer on Pre-Loved Podcast Addison Rae wearing the Electric Barbarella pants Avril's Getting Lucky in Kentucky tee @misss2005 Second Chances by Macy Eleni LET'S CONNECT: 

John & Heidi share funny stories of people doing weird things... plus we continue our segment #AsSeenOnTV as John chats with Hanako Greensmith - Chicago FireLearn more about our radio program, podcast & blog at www.JohnAndHeidiShow.com

John & Heidi share funny stories of people doing weird things... plus we continue our segment #AsSeenOnTV as John chats with Jon Taffer - Bar RescueLearn more about our radio program, podcast & blog at www.JohnAndHeidiShow.com

John & Heidi share funny stories of people doing weird things... plus we continue our segment #AsSeenOnTV as John chats with Yvette Nicole Brown - The Family Business NOLearn more about our radio program, podcast & blog at www.JohnAndHeidiShow.com

It's a 'Snake Draft' of "As Seen On TV" products, who drafted the best list? D'Marco had his own Snake Draft idea that sparked listeners to call in. Plus, Fact or Cap! And, where are we with the LA Rams and Matthew Stafford?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Positive Mindset and Entrepreneurial Journey @ 0:00 Neil and Michael discuss the importance of maintaining a positive mindset and embracing the entrepreneurial journey, even when faced with challenges. Neil shares how he pivoted from a corporate career to building his own businesses, overcoming obstacles like financial setbacks and family changes along the way. Building Sustainable E-commerce Businesses @ 1:56 Neil outlines his experience building online companies over the past 17 years, including launching successful private label brands on Amazon and acquiring other e-commerce businesses. He emphasizes the need to create real, sustainable businesses with tangible assets rather than just "side hustles" or "hobby businesses". Acquiring and Scaling E-commerce Businesses @ 2:47 Neil discusses his company's focus on acquiring e-commerce businesses with $1.5-$3.5 million in EBITDA, with the goal of scaling them further through their expertise and resources. He explains the value of building sustainable businesses with tangible assets that can be acquired and grown. Rapid Growth of E-commerce and Mobile Commerce @ 5:42 The discussion explores the explosive growth of e-commerce, especially the shift to mobile purchasing overtaking desktop in recent years. Neil highlights the speed at which the e-commerce industry is evolving and the opportunities this presents for entrepreneurs to build scalable, profitable businesses. Entrepreneurship Education for Youth @ 13:37 Neil shares that he is teaching an entrepreneurship course for 14-18 year olds in his homeschool co-op, with the goal of helping young people start their own businesses in the next 15 weeks. Michael praises this initiative as an important way to foster entrepreneurial mindsets and skills at a young age. Recap and Resources @ 24:46 In closing, Neil provides information on how to connect with him and access his resources, including a book he co-authored with Kevin Harrington on building a "lifestyle-driven business model" through physical product e-commerce. About Neil Twa Are you a podcast owner looking to book an e-commerce and entrepreneurship expert who can deliver game-changing insights for your audience? Look no further than Mr. Twa - he's got the brains, the real-world experience, and the down-to-earth demeanor, and he wrote the book on building automated income with Amazon FBA. For over 17 years, Mr. Twa has been constructing online and offline businesses after departing his senior IBM role. Since 2012, he's launched 5+ personal brands, generated 10 million in revenues as eight-figure sellers, and assisted in the growth of 1000+ others through consulting, coaching, and mentoring alongside partner Reed and their Voltage team. As the sole "Shark"-endorsed Amazon FBA growth consultancy, their "As Seen on TV" strategy anticipates market demands and creates brand marketing pull. This approach pinpoints the 5 CRUCIAL breakthroughs sellers need to transform an Amazon FBA business into a direct-to-consumer brand worth more upon sale than during its building phase. Neil Twa frequently guests on top shows, sharing his mastery of e-commerce, entrepreneurship, and brand building online - with a laser focus on leveraging Amazon FBA and omnichannel marketing strategies. Book him as your next guest to unlock insights that can propel your audience's Amazon FBA ventures in 2024 and beyond! Discover how to leverage Amazon FBA to build an automated income, achieve time freedom, and amass more incredible wealth - whether high-income earners, current business builders, generating passive income, or desiring wealth outside Wall Street! https://podmatch.com/guestdetailpreview/1617919623027x315208613535165500 Website: https://voltagedm.com/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/neiltwa/ Facebook https://web.facebook.com/neiltwa/?_rdc=1&_rdr Twitter https://twitter.com/voltagefba Instagram https://www.instagram.com/neiltwa/ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@fbabusinessbuilders YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/NeilTwavoltage

John & Heidi share funny stories of people doing weird things... plus we continue our segment #AsSeenOnTV as John chats with Oliver Goldstick - School SpiritLearn more about our radio program, podcast & blog at www.JohnAndHeidiShow.com

John & Heidi share funny stories of people doing weird things... plus we continue our segment #AsSeenOnTV as John chats with Luciane Buchanan - The Night Agent on NetflixLearn more about our radio program, podcast & blog at www.JohnAndHeidiShow.com

John & Heidi share funny stories of people doing weird things... plus we continue our segment #AsSeenOnTV as John chats with Tim Walsh - On CallLearn more about our radio program, podcast & blog at www.JohnAndHeidiShow.com

John & Heidi share funny stories of people doing weird things... plus we continue our segment #AsSeenOnTV as John chats with Captain Joe Dion - Harpoon HuntersLearn more about our radio program, podcast & blog at www.JohnAndHeidiShow.com

John & Heidi share funny stories of people doing weird things... plus we continue our segment #AsSeenOnTV as John chats with Laura Ingle-Crime NationLearn more about our radio program, podcast & blog at www.JohnAndHeidiShow.com

Today the guys are kicking off February with good vibes! They talk as seen on tv products and where they are today, Bob goes over the Grammys and debates whether the award shows still care about Rock N Roll, Chuy and Bob get into it over the show Severance, Chuy quizzes the guys in a tv theme song head to head, and an asteroid might hit earth?!?! Start your Monday off good with your favorite Rock N Roll morning show. Support the show: https://www.klbjfm.com/mattandbobfm/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, we sit down with Neil Twa, CEO and Co-Founder of Voltage Holdings, and co-author of *Almost-Automated Income with FBA*. With over 17 years of experience building businesses both online and offline, Neil shares his journey from a senior role at IBM to launching 5+ personal brands and generating tens of millions in revenue as an 8-figure seller. Neil has helped over 1,000 entrepreneurs grow their Amazon FBA businesses through his consulting, coaching, and mentoring programs. As the only "Shark"-endorsed Amazon FBA growth consultancy, Voltage Holdings uses a proven “As Seen on TV” strategy to anticipate market trends and create direct-to-consumer brands that thrive. About Neil Twa: Neil regularly appears on podcasts to share his expertise in e-commerce, entrepreneurship, brand building, and omnichannel marketing strategies. He's passionate about helping entrepreneurs achieve breakthroughs and turn their Amazon FBA businesses into highly valuable assets. More Info: - Website: https://www.voltagedm.com/businessbuilder?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaZUN3a1lr__8TrAJuR9kDJklJJFAyAcF_6HNHL3AM5-G2MpgaR4hx4p3Bs_aem_Aobkl10_UIiysjsEOUhNqg - Voltage Digital Marketing: https://www.voltagedm.com/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaYRV5UlSq0ie9oBdKl5a4fdZwo5m6kOuil8XxS-VOBEq3-h4sjv7QNkz7o_aem_m7Fi-cBnemVfT8jn1XKtNQ - Shark Tank endorsement: https://www.voltagedm.com/book?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaZOLdz-KS_6zMKDJEsCecPyW37SA87qQ35tw2cEGZw90sG2YgVu7CzpuY0_aem_uJ8gsHxTmIqrGrsdjTJgYQ - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/neiltwa?igsh=eXlybTEweHI4bnZs - Facebook: Neil Twa https://www.facebook.com/share/1TqTNLx4gJ/ Facebook page: Voltage Digital Marketing https://www.facebook.com/share/1Gq8PUWLe2/ https://www.voltagedm.com/businessbuilder?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaZUN3a1lr__8TrAJuR9kDJklJJFAyAcF_6HNHL3AM5-G2MpgaR4hx4p3Bs_aem_Aobkl10_UIiysjsEOUhNqg Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more inspiring stories and actionable strategies from top entrepreneurs! Follow Us on Instagram: - @mr.dreaminspireobtain https://www.instagram.com/mr.dreaminspireobtain/ - @dreaminspireobtain: https://www.instagram.com/dreaminspireobtain?igsh=c2RxbDI3N2U1eGdi - @diotalkpodcast: https://www.instagram.com/diotalkpodcast?igsh=cXk2dnBydmFpdHhl Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DiomarkKingDiaz?mibextid=ZbWKwL More info: - Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/dreaminspireobtain - Apple podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/d-i-o-talk-podcast/id1562933810?uo=4 - Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/54SDtx0CFJ58FfpDoSg4Bz - Rumble: https://rumble.com/c/c-6758037 Store: https://spreadshop-admin.spreadshirt.com/DIOTALKSHOP/

KEENAN is the head of the league's research and development team. KEENAN WELL, Ya'll sho' chose the wrong girl to fuck wit! Why do you say that? KEENAN Well, i'mon just let ya'll figure that out on ya own. [KEENEN exits shaking his head solemnly, and begins singing ‘Amazing Grace' , first humming.] Hmmmmm—hmmm—how sweet the sound— Wait! Keenan! Who is this girl?! Who is she?! —hmmm—hmmm—hmmm—hmmmmmmmm LIKE MEEEEEEE! What are we up against Oh. you'll see. I woooonceeee was lost— Wait! SEEYA! [out of nowhere he has pulled out an old style stick bundle and throws it over his shoulder, continuing to hum while chewing on a long stick of straw.] —-hmmmm—-hmmmm. …where is he going!? (Meta) Seems like he's going somewhere with that thing hanging over his back! What are those things even called, anyway? Who knows? I think I know, but it might be racist. [suddenly, offstage/camera a bell begins to ring— One— Two— Three chimes.] That seems odd. Yes, very strange. [Suddenly, all the NBC pages at once upend their nests,] what the— Why are there so many of them. I don't know. Did their skirts get shorter? Hush. So many pages. MEANWHILR, unst 30 Rock. Hold on, pause. These weirdo cops have reverb on their whoop whoops. Facts. Are you sure this is still the 10th dimension. I'm positive. Really! You're sure! Couldn't possibly be lower. Maybe. What about higher. Higher!? Since when. WHAT'S YOUR NAME. Uh-FRANKLIN. Don't lie to me. How would you pronounce this name? I wouldn't. Hm. Excuse me. What. How would you say this? Like, out loud— Uh huh. Pass. Dammit! Hey—uh— RACHEL DRATCH What, dammit; what?! I just sat down with my bagel! I know but— I need your help— interpreting something? What is it? Gibberish? Not really, it's— I'm an expert in Gibberish— I know; but— Classical and neo-modern. Yeah, it's not that. What is it. Alien, I think. Which species. Species. WHICH— ugh— give me that! [she snatches the paper and produces a monocle for further inspection.] Since when did you get a monacle? since when changed insurance companies which supplies said ‘monocologists' and covers such expenses sans-coh-pay. You mean copay? Shut up. Hm. Looks to be Unrealian in orgim but I could be mistaking this dialect. What. Could also possibly be AAHHMEK. Ahmek? Ano, AAAAH— nevermind. Is this an actual apostrophe? Beg your pardon. The apostrophe— is it human derived, or the human pseudo translation replacement for a afahmblunsenphOuallentprprh? Say again. Is it an actual apostrophe, or is the mark mean to insinuate the commonly used extraterrestrial character afahmblunsenphOuallentprprh? …I don't know. WELL, then—I'm afraid I can't help you until you forgive that out— What. Depending on what the mark is, those could be two veerrrrry different things. Would you just, Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to presume the consumption of my RAISINBagel. You know what. -_- -_- -_- …fine. [he snatches the paper and walks away angry—RATCHEL DRATCH begins to shmear her bagel, mumbling] —wants me to translate, but doesn't know the difference between an apostrophe, and a afahmblunsenphOuallentprprh. Please! {Enter The Multiverse} Unlike the girl next door, my lawsuit was legitimate. I strolled passed the usual subjects on my way back to the apartment from my begrudged outings; I had left with the intention of putting my money into a cheap record player, but had after all decided against it—I was saving for a new computer so that I could actually record vocals for my music, which would deplete my budget after living expenses for the month into nothing, and though I knew it would be something like next-to-nothing for the next little while anyway, it wouldn't matter. Now that I knew I was right, I continued compiling the evidence against these motorized terrorists—I didn't actually want to sue, but at this point it seemed it was my only choice— my lowly “status” should not mean that I was allowed to be tortured continually—and, unlike the girl next door, I was not seeking damages for something I had asked for, or brought onto myself; the horrendous sound in the apartment seemed as if it was aimed directly toward me with my synesthesia in mind, and with some amount of pride I refused outright to go the way I was expected to and file a disability claim. I wasn't disabled— I was, however, unable to preform my full work duties as a recording artist without being interrupted by motorcycles, project cars, and otherwise, all of which I suspected were operated by the same group of people— some ugly little brown lackeys who felt entitled in one way or another, and paraded around as if they owned the neighborhood. Benefiting from American business, but anti-American; the opposite of peaceful and respectful—not that America had made its name on the basis of respect, and so it seemed that something, out of balance and off kilter for hundreds of years iknretropect, was bound to change. They were rude, arrogant, and loud—bringing al of the 3rd-world mindset and none of the humility or charm of the actual 3rd world with them; as arrogant as one might think, a gross reflection of the toxic masculine as a whole. They might not have been ugly at all if they were respectful or decent—but they ran about acting like terrorists, revving their engines, and banging, and clashing, and being ugly—employing young boys to stand on the corner and sell their off market drugs after having one of their smoke shops closed down. The more time I spent outside dealing with people at all, the more ill I felt. I craved more time offline and off the grid, and though the general disenchantment of New York would continue pouring through the cheaply made windows, I realized that I would be more well-to-do with a typewriter (so that I could continue to write for long periods of time offline and without my phone) and a record player (to drown out the noise and play along to on my drum machine, and still— there were more things to do, always drowning in bills and often wondering how long I'd have to forfeight health in exchange for the decency of what some might cal luxury, but others foundational. As for myself, these things, simple staples to health and wellness, were beginning to be foundational. {Enter The Multiverse} “As Seen on TV” She doesn't even have a name My pussy is cleaner than a motherfucker This ain't no community like Donald Glover Ya'll niggas actin childish, Gambino— If you wanna turn it on, Then send a c-note (I'm in south side) What she want Peloton What she on peloton What she got peloton What she on Peloton I FOUND KIT! I found KIT. Great, now did you burn that letter? What. Burn it. [does] Oh, that is such a relief. Jesus. Okay. This shit does get weird and deep. —so that's why we're going offline… You wouldn't believe this, I found the kid swinging from a tree. Ridiculous. And if you tie it like this— Ah. Look, it won't slip. So…this is your hobby, huh. One of many. They don't call you the Ace for nothin, do they. (Innocently, with curiosity) “Of Granduer” —Do they? The sound of a chandelier sparkles as the giant lamp swings back and forth, as if an earthquake has just happened. You wouldn't believe this. What. On the television. Okay, so I found this “Kit” guy— Twice. Twice you asked, and twice I told you. Well, I didn't think to look directly at Johnny Carson, exactly. But here— And this: You actually were. Tell me again what your name is. Just sign me an autograph: What. Me? Sure, why not? I want your autograph! Do people still ask for autographs? Often enough. Remarkably, even, at airports, and of course, unexpectedly at— GODDAMMIT, we're back at the rock! GODDAMMIT. Well. Well what! Somebody check what year it is. FUCK. [super long censored beep.] [The Festival Project ™] It was the first time since my childhood I felt like something was too long away—but finally, I was in the final stretch. The Peloton would be delivered sometime in the morning, and now that my internet had shut itself off— I'd refused to pay the bill and opted for getting a new computer so that I could record, rather it— Give me a second, I'm fucking obsessed with these curtains. Bro but second to the curtains is the fucking grass. No, its—tuft. Turf, huh? Interesting… I told you she was some sort of a spy. Whatever. I had long considered turning my living room into a media center, and had thought to reinvent my entire space in fungshuei, but now more than anything I just wanted it to look like that. {Enter The Multiverse} Something is wrong with her . She sits by her door ALL DAY and just fucking talks. And I know she's by her door Because she's RIGHT AT THE DOOR I hear this crystal clear Anytime I go near my door And she's like BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH BITCH GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE DOOR somewhere in a parallel of time Your ancestors Are beating the hell Out of my ancestors And your other ancestors Are stealing my other ancestors land You're on borrowed time And in borrowed space GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE DOOR. Man, Living sandwhiched between two Karen's Is like the equivalent Of having two demon fucking little sisters That hate you And tell on your for everything. Slamming doors and shit just to fuckin Throwing shit around Bitch. You are crazy. And that's the thing about white girls Their crazy is socially acceptable As normal behavior I guess when you just have the best things in life thrown at you forever— When things the rest of us consider luxury and opulence is just “regular” to you, You get a little set in your ways. My neighbor is infuriating. I'm like WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS BY THE DOOR SHES LIKE SNARFSNRFSNARF I'm like goddamn, Somebody send like a Camden or a fuckin “Chase” Over this way. Somebody take this bitch on a date And away from the door. Whole two bedroom apartment This bitch is glued to her door. She a robot. The door is metal. She just enters the apartment and gets glued stuck to the door “I guess I will have to snarf snarf from here. “She's a smart one” I don't believe in smart white girls. There's regular white girls And fucking serial killers. The serial killers are considered “the smart ones” I guess it does take a considerable amount of intelligence to just exist to catch bodies That's what they call the smart ones The ones who level up by just Mowing everyone else down. Gotta give them that. White girls will ruin your whole life Blink two little blue-green eyes twice— And if they're big and round enough The brown eyed white girls can get away with the shit, too— But they're fucking murderers. It's okay. I lived with white people long enough in my life to love them. But in living with and around them— I notice they all say the same thing which indicates to me that racial injustice might not actually be their fault— They might be killing niggas on accident. Just complete accidents White people say shit like “I can't feel” What. “How does it feel—to feel.” WHAT?! “Explain to me the concept of ‘emotions'” Ah hell nah— And these people have all the disposable income? It's not their fault. They just— are like that. They're wired different. They can't feel, And their first instinct is to kill everything different or perceivably deadly. It's not their fault It's intrinsically They have extremely fragile genes Very weak gene pools. Have you ever noticed how white people are always sick? Always?! Weak gene pools. Years of breeding narcisistically. Traits that are reminders of themselves, or people they grew up around. This is not racism, it's just science. “Oh, I love blue eyes because my grandmother has blue eyes” White men commonly marry women who remind them of their mothers and sisters. If that's not fucked up, I don't know what is. Then I realized that incest porn and teeny porn are amongst the highest watched types of porn. Hmm. Gee. I wonder why. Men are gross. But white moms need to start being more like black and Hispanic moms if they want to ensure the continuance of their genetics into evolution. You need to give your kids some mommy issues. That way, when they grow up, they feel the need to add variation to the gene pool in order to strengthen it, and move towards evolution. It's true. I lived with maybe the whitest man I ever knew for almost 6 months; I don't think he was specifically intentionally trying to kill me— But everything he did— And I mean everything, up to a certain point was like …I don't know, man. It really seems like this dude is trying to like exterminate me in some sort of way. It was bad. The energy was weird. He was like dirty, Fucking lazy, He was a lot. I was like, “Damn what the fuck it's like the longer I stay around the worse it is” But the weirdest part, was that he didn't seem to be aware that he was doing it Either that or he was a really good actor… “What do you mean?” Had me confused. But that's the thing about the whites. They do the whole thing with mind games They fuck with your mind. It's the most powerful weapon, actually— Because if you continually attack a person's mind, The rest crumbles around them without you even touching them. I'm sure this is what my neighbor is trying to do. It's a mind thing I get near the door, she just hurries up and opens her door, opens the door real wide, big apartment, everything's white, big ass fucking place But she's always by the door; Mind games. —Tales of a Superstar DJ. I wasn't really interesting in meeting someone seriously— in fact. As it turned out, I still had a little more muse to milk out of the last one, but even the tarot was being a stickler— I could risk ending it all and putting a nail in the coffin by actually watching The Tonight Show—but there would be a possibility it all would backfire and it would just reignite that spark, or worse—I'd become fully engulfed in flames by whatever it was that seemed to appear—and it seemed to appear so vividly and with rapid strength that it couldn't be stopped or controlled. A serious amount of money had to have been implemented to my paying attention to this, and beyond that— it all had to have been carefully premeditated. While at least now at the bookshop I was drawn to books from Oprah's book club, what had occurred couldn't possibly be ignored—actually, it couldn't be, at all— but instead of eating at me in its usual way, I had more just began to realize that there must have been in play some purpose. Feeling faraway from my actual creative self, there seemed to be something missing at all generating even a general sense of understanding of what normalcy was— when had actually been the last time I had been touched at all in a way that might make me feel as if I was still human— as if I was normal— but I knew I wasn't. It's time for a change. The thought of being with someone, especially just anyone, was bizzare. I gave up on love a lot of times; But this is when it became official. I was listening to a rap album I had never heard before And in this rap song, he said “This hoe got a 7 year degree and still selling pussy” What in the fuck. One way one way ticket Why bother getting a 7 year degree If your value as a black woman Is so low You can get a 7 year degree And still have to be a prostitute? What the fuck is the point. It goes the other way, too. What is the point of selling pussy without a 7 year degree!? She's gonna make more than me in ALL the professions. I gave up on love at all. That right there is how low value we are, not just to the black man, but any man. 7 year degree and you can charge more an hour, but you're still a technical hoe. I want to fucking die. When I married my ex I was pregnant with twins; When i got pregnant with the twins I was about 350 pounds. So by the time we got married, I was 6 months pregnant with twins. He had a right to cheat! I forgave him. But the first time he hit me Like really hit me Not just like A heavy shoving or ike A lil— You know Choke out– Like the real deal Like knocked me the fuck Almost all the way out Saw the white light and everything By the time that all went down I'm like 170-180 He's still, mind you, like 300 I lost weight He lost his mind; so i'm— — lets round up— Like 180 pounds But in my mind i must be thinking somewhere i'm still 300 He came at me with a running start, I put my hands up like: I must have thought i actually had a chance I took a fighting stance like: He said Fphew! PULL A RABBIT OUT A HAT damn . what year is this really? You just got sampled . Say, what's his job? Well, that's an informer. Chris Rock forsure some kind of genius I saw him do GIlbert Godfried And Sam Kinison In the same show. The show was dated, though; He literally said, “I'm married: I don't cheat.” I knew it must have been a joke. I knew it had to be a joke, or it had to be dated, Cause being real, I listen to too much kanye To even believe that Or even laugh at that: Not “too much” kanye— 'Just enough' Kanye, He said, “If I pull up with Kerri washington, That's gon' be an enormous scandal” I might have Niomi Campbell, Still might want me a stormy daniels And ya'll tried to get trumps supporters to turn against him By exposing that he fucked this bitch? That's like an achivement. That's like a status symbol. I'm sure these idiots praise him for that. He might have even gotten more popular! That's not a scandal That's PR. On that note, I think Chris Rock was the very guy Who made me decide to stay single forever: He talked about the way, apparently, men want to kill their wives; The way they fantasise killing us When we're in the relationship: Now, ill say— I never once thought about killing my ex husband During the relationship Even after he hit me. Never once. The only time i started wishing a karmic death upon this person was when I left the relationship And he stopped fantasizing about it And actually tried to fucking kill me. Once I realized this was happening Only then did I start to think “Oh damn, i hope that motherfucker just drops the fuck dead.” This motherfucker beat me, AND tried to kill me, Only then was i like, damn “Return to sender” I hope you die too, You fat piece of shit wifebeater motherfucker I hope you die too. Only after he tried to kill me. After I left. Had to hire a fucking voodoo fucking sorceress and shit “yo , take this curse off me, This motherfucker tried to kill me” Fuck that motherfucker. Apparently though they fantasisze it all the time, I'm thinking about all the times he would play this song iroinically enough, By kanye west So maybe too much Kanye West Or just enough, Kanye said “I thought about killing you today.” He used to play this song, And beat my ass, And I never once thought “I hope he dies” Shit, After the first time he really beat my ass, He ran away. He got scared; He had to run. My face was all hanging off my head and shit Blood all over the place My lip is disconnected from my whole jaw and shit He ran away; He darted out the front door He said “I'm gonna kill myself!” And he rain away– Even then even just after he beat my ass I never thought about killing him Or wanting him to die He just fresh beat my ass; He just straight up finished whooping my whole ass and he said “I'm gonna kill myself” He realized what he did “I'm gonna kill myself”, he said And he ran out the door And here I am With my lip hanging off my whole face Blood all on the walls Pool of blood on the floor, the whole thing babies crying; The whole The whole fucking HBO special The whole nine yards And he said “I'm gonna kill myself” And my dumb ass said “NO! Don't!” He ran out the door, I'm freaking out Blood everywhere Babies crying and shit “Come back! Think about the kids! Don't kill yourself” Like a dumbass. Turns out that was just a tactic, He broke me down good, I was like “Don't kill yourself” He said “...you gonna call the cops.” He said “...alright, I won't kill myself.” Boom. That's a real killer. Looking back on all this, I can't help but think to myself, What i would have done differently Not the whole “I should have left before any of that happened” I was the mother of two young children; I wanted to try after the cheating to make things work, Fast forward after that Turns out he was fantasizing about killing me the whole time He beat mya ass, ran away, Left me in a pool of blood with my two kids He said I'm gonna kill myself Looking back at that momet, The thing I wish I could change is this If i had to do it over again And he beat me like that In front of my kids And then said “I'm gonna kill myself” I would have said “do that shit.” Lock the door behind his ass, Change the lock, Pick my face up off the floor, call an ambulance And the polce, change names Pick up my life And leave forever. “Nigga–who?” “Momma who was our daddy? What was he like?” “Ya'll ain't got a daddy. I made ya'll myself” End of story. Whatever. Everything happens for a reason though. I learned my lesson. Now i don't argue with anyone at all Men, women–nobody If i even sense that same shit That psycho killer shit– I become as silent and invisible as possible And simply Disappear. “Disappear.” I had a migraine and I knew it was from pressure buildup and stress, so I thought to get rid of it I ought to make one of those hot-compresses with rice. But the only rice I had was jambalaya flavored— But the headache was obviously really bad, So I was like, “fuck it.” Poured it into a gym sock And popped it in the microwave, Put it on my neck— My neck smelled like a pot roast, But it worked. {Enter The Multiverse} There was something in my lungs, forcing me to breathe deeply, with a raspy wheezing wind out of my lungs, and with a steady cough, I was able to offload whatever it was waiting in my chest to be released, along with it, at least part of the pressure that was making even just sitting and reading nearly unbearable, collecting into a harsh migraine paralyzing each and every other breath with a sharp pain underneath the back of what seemed to be somewhere below my ear canal and somehow, a pressure somewhere behind my eye, probably a result of the excruciating process of shoving earplugs into my ears in order to drown out the outside noise, which paired with that of my seemingly devoid neighbors, often became wildly unsettling, and while lately the clamoring had created not only an uneasy tremor in my left hand, but also apparently a sudden onset of occasional vruxism, the anxiety overall seemed to be surmounting into what could only be described as something trying to kill me, for which I could no longer ignore not as delusions or paranoia, but absolute fact. As I had learned, modern psychology might have been the equivalent of what one could even be certain to be the devil itself, unable to distinguish patterns often associated with creative genius, self manifestation, and psychic abilities and intuition, as delusions of grandeur, paranoid thinking, or worse— diagnoses as psychotic. However, my grandiosity was neither imagined nor delusional—my podcast series alone had been read and listened to all over the world, translated into foreign languages and transcribed, and had been downloaded hundreds of thousands of times since its publishing; though not a technically recognizable figure, I had realized that I had in my own right become somewhat famous, if even off of the back or even under the umbrella of another famous individual, to whom the series itself had been entrusted. Receiving though not by mainstream media standards upwards of at least 10 downloads per episode, the series had no actual gauge or marker for its actual success and polularity—without being able to see information from a major streaming platform—Spotify, and without being able to measure the amount of downloads which had then been duplicated and shared otherwise, I started to recognize with a certain understanding what a cult following was, and the minimal phenomenon that even at this level, fame started to become apparent. It had also become apparent that science itself had yet to truly understand the phenomenon of creative energy as a whole, and that many with these capabilities and gifts were considered to have a plethora of mental health disorders and medicated with what one would consider targeted attacks on the psyche, the illusion of mental illness often standing as the actual delusion in itself! Creating, and then medicating these intrinsic abilities ass illnesses whereby the “neurotypical” individual might only be considered as such due to ability to adapt, confirm, or follow diections in a systematic manner, and furthermore, that the misdiagnoses of such misunderstoodconditions often even relied on bias, poor judgement, racism, social class, and economics had certainly deconstructed any faith or belief formerly held in the modern state of psychology, and most of the articles or public medical journals read more like science fiction and fantasy rather than cold hard facts; indicating a moral and ethical flaw within the entirety of the human species—man's own inability to understand God, and therefore himself, in any creative process. Diety and creativity combined were simply a mystery, and had plagued entire generations of the human spieces as a whole. Blū runs at top speed through the streets of Brooklyn New York on a cold and windy October night. V.O. The ironic thing is, I'm running to go get ice cream. I hate my life, I hate this place, I hate my life— I fucking hate this shit. I'm trying really hard not to kill myself. Like really, really hard. Sudden onset bruxism and hand tremors and I can't help but wonder if it has anything to do with the constant mottoeycle traffic or sleeping in a sea of vehicles which at any given moment could sound off, start up or honk the horn alarm over the last 9 months. I'm fucking exhausted all the time and everything around me just fucking draining. Just fucking draining. https://www.tracklib.com/pricing Yo, you know how I know I'm aging? I hated Dora The Explora when I was a kid— You know why? “That's for babies!” I was too old for Dora the explorer. Mi was a tv snob. I'm like “I hate Dora!” No teletubbies for me. No sir. I'm distinguished now. But get this, As I get older, different renditions of Dora Have grown on me To the point where I actually like the bitch I got older, And there was this girl, Who would show up at raves Dressed like Dora And shuffle, And dance around— Looking like Dora The Explorer Kind of creepy, now that I think about it As an actual adult, Like this, Fully grown woman, Dressed as a fucking 5 year old Dancing around at raves Being Dora. Weird. But I liked it. I loved it. She was a hit; Everybody was like “RAVE DORA! RAVE DORA!” She blew up on Instagram, She had a following— It was like Where will she be next?! RAVE DORA! Had the backpack and everything— Everything! Rave Dora! But now I know I'm getting old, Because I'm fuckin around online, And I see in the advertising little sidebar video Like, a new version of Dora The Explorer, And I'm like “DORAAAAAAAA!!!” —the fuck! I just realized my best friend from 3rd and 7th grade looked just like Dora the explorer. Facts. She became literally the most successful stripper I've ever met. Ahem. Dancer. Right. Dancer. Ahem. Dudes are gross. Doods r gross. Welcome to Doods R Gross; What can I help you find today? Uh, hi. I'm looking for a guy— Uh huh— Possibly one who looks like this: Ah shit, this is how I got playing the Wikipedia game and went on a tirade Facts. Ended up here Unicameralism (from uni- "one" + Latin camera "chamber") is a type of legislatureconsisting of one house or assembly that legislates and votes as one.[1] Unicameralism has become an increasingly common type of legislature, making up nearly 60% of all national legislatures[2] and an even greater share of subnational legislatures. Interesting Started Here: The Fallen Angel (French: L'Ange déchu) is a painting by French artist Alexandre Cabanel. You were saying? Preferably this. Ah huh. Not the face, but— the body— you know. Like this. Okay. Who will let me do everything. Everything as in? Everything. Well, as you know, dudes are gross… Hence the name of this store, good sir. I am in no way good, nor am I a “sir”, and for all intensive purposes, my employment at this store signals my deep indirection in life and may also be an indication of more serious issues. Maintained. Alright, so I'll show you what we got. No promises; The type of model you want is popular, Might be out of stock. Considerable. What's your price range? This credit card has no limit. Credit, or debit? My debit card is also linked to a plethora of infinite wealth. Right this way. Do you think I deserved for him to hit me like that? I don't know. Maybe. I mean—the cheating is a given; I was really really fat..:but do you think like, him getting violent was some kind of karma for something? Maybe. Like maybe I had it coming for whatever reason— and just didn't know it. Maybe. Suddenly I was in the residual memory of a dream. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

Babes in Toyland [00:31] "Dust Cake Boy" Sugar and Spice Foxcore Records F9 1992 From a UK bootleg featuring demos and studio outtakes from Babes in Toyland, and Peel Session tracks from Hole. Talk Normal [04:09] "In Every Dream Home a Heartache" Sugarland Rare Book Room Records RBR005 2009 Blistering Roxy Music cover (https://youtu.be/boo5PDjf1Es?si=j-vWw2hnjJrb98DJ) from this Brooklyn duo (https://youtu.be/BgdDDJEzhJA?si=rXvYkftPvYkA8bJ4). Suicidal Tendencies [10:17] "Won't Fall in Love Today" Suicidal Tendencies Frontier Records FLP 1011 1983 This is a 2005 reissue on red-ish transparent vinyl. Produced by Glen E. Friedman, who is better known as a photographer (http://burningflags.com/home/) famous for documenting the nascent punk and skateboard scene. Bonnie 'Prince' Billy [11:13] "Ease Down the Road" Summer in the Southeast Sea Note SN11 2005 Live album recorded while touring Florida, Georgia, Mississippi, and North Carolina. Helping out Will Oldham here are his brother Paul on bass, Peter Townshend on drums, Dave Bird and Matt Sweeney on guitar. Wayne Newton [16:58] "Summer Wind" Summer Wind Capitol Records T 2389 1965 A young Mr. Entertainment taking a pass at this Johnny Mercer number adapted from a German/Danish single by Gerthe Ingmann (https://youtu.be/d_wWy79DV0E?si=tyb8AIlZ0iv0PdJ7). I will forever associate this song with Martin singing this song (https://youtu.be/d_wWy79DV0E?si=tyb8AIlZ0iv0PdJ7) at the end of The Simpsons episode Bart of Darkness (S06E01). Thou [19:33] "Grissecon" Summit Gilead Media relic 31 2018 An excellent reissue of Thou's 2010 album Summit originally released on Southern Lord, along with material from The Archer and The Owle EP released on Robotic Empire. I still think it is amazing that Thou were the first metal band to appear on NPR's Tiny Desk (https://youtu.be/IUVYgCwpv7Y?si=tOq09uk2XAP45o5x) (minus lead vocalist Bryan Funck). Be-Bop Deluxe [27:55] "Heavenly Homes" Sunburst Finish Harvest ST-11478 1976 Some excellent melodic guitar dynamics on this track from Bill Nelson and co's third studio album. Guided by Voices [32:51] "Heavy Metal Country" Sunfish Holy Breakfast Matador OLE 185-1 1996 EP from somewhere around the Alien Lanes/Under the Bushes Under the Stars era. On lovely translucent blue vinyl. Earl-Jean McCrea [36:09] "I'm Into Something Good" Super Girls Lake Shore Music OP 3507 1979 _As seen on TV (https://youtu.be/K2t9Iwl07sA?si=JmonzgyBe6Sr8MuV)! Forty original hits by forty original artists. In mono! Earl-Jean of the Cookies sends this original recording of the Goffin and King hit shortly thereafter by Herman's Hermits. _ 1000 Homo DJs [38:56] "Supernaut" Supernaut Wax Trax! Records WAX 9133 1990 Peak Industrial cover from Al Journgensen and friends. Certainly not as good as the Sabbath orignal (https://youtu.be/nUb0QaDjP78?si=QtuvXBJhZNFU4yFM) but still makes an impact, though it does go on a bit. Matt Sweeney and Bonnie 'Prince' Billy [45:33] "Bed Is for Sleeping" Superwolf Drag City DC179 2005 Excellent collaboration between the two, with some excellent illustrations by Matt and Spencer Sweeney. Produced by Superwolfmen. Jefferson Airplane [49:42] "White Rabbit" Surrealistic Pillow RCA Victor LSP-3766 1967 Normally I would go with "Plastic Fantastic Lover (https://youtu.be/NUc8vkO3oxY?si=OBKbSnjAAEQsJMbK)", but as I've said before, sometimes you gotta go with the hits. Grace was evidently inspired by Miles Davis' Sketches in Spain when coming up with the music from this piece. Survive [52:11] "Sorceror" Survive RR7349 Relapse Records RR7349 2016 Some tasty synthwave from the band behind the Stranger Things sound. Shizuko and Shinichi Suzuki [56:31] "Long, Long Ago (Bayly)" Suzuki Violin School, Vol. 1 & Vol. 2 Summy-Birchard Music CSM 1387 1970 I was a child violin prodigy... until I had to read music. Quintron and Miss Pussycat [57:10] "Witch in the Club" Swamp Tech Tigerbeat 6 MEOW119LP 2005 Organ magic from the one and only Quintron and the amazing Miss Pussycat. I'll have to remember this track for next Halloween. Music behind the DJ: "Quinn the Eskimo" by Arthur Greenslade and his Orchestra

Humble. Gary Lanton and his lovely wife Dionn have been a big influence in the world of BBQ. We chatted about their journey in bbq from the roadside trailer kitchen onto the current location a brick and mortar store. Now taking ownership of a local breakfast icon of the area. But the big tv publishing of their bbq career didn't even come up in our conversation. Which kind of surprised me since they had such public success and the TV fame as a tail wind. They used their power of taste in their local area to capitalize on the bbq need in the area without as seen on TV stickers and have been quite successful in the boots on the ground grinding and hustling bbq game. Along the way using his construction background to build the business's building with his hand and skill. The truest form of blood sweat and tears. But bbq guys don't cry. Gary and Dionn have been figureheads in the bbq restaurant industry, and now with a newly owned established location coming in and injecting their hard work and taste into it as well with a house made sausage that they created and will be a beacon of breakfast on the menu along side the 30 plus year biscuit recipe for another 30 years or more. We spoke about this and so much more if you are a restaurant owner or have ever been to one this is a great insider gaze into the restaurant world. https://dublinbbq.com TheSmokeRingSyndicate.com

Episode 95: Despite what many marketing gurus may say, webinars remain one of the simplest, most effective ways to sell any online course or coaching program.That being said, there are many ways to do webinars and a lot of decisions you need to make as far as how you're going to set it up, promote it, present your offer within it, etc.In this Episode, Steve Lowell tells us all of the current best practices for implementing an automated, evergreen webinar in your business. Through his extensive testing, he's found the settings, options, and strategies that work best to make your webinar convert at the highest level possible.We discuss everything from which webinar platform is best, how to schedule your webinar, how to foster engagement within your webinar, how to add authentic urgency and scarcity, the pros and cons of a “simulated live” webinar, and much more!About Steve Lowell: From Ottawa, Canada, Steve is an award-winning global speaker. For over 30 years, he has been training and mentoring executives, thought-leaders, and professional speakers worldwide to deliver high-impact keynote speeches, drive revenue from the platform and build wealth through speaking.Steve is the Past President of the Global Speakers Federation (GSF) and the Past National President of the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers (CAPS). A three-time number one international best-selling author, Steve is a sought-after expert helping thought leaders, coaches, authors and sales teams sell more by changing the way they speak.He shares the stage with such greats as Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup for the Soul Series), Kevin Harrington (Shark Tank and “As Seen on TV”), and Brian Tracy (Author of over 70 books).Together with his wife, Jayne he travels the world speaking, training, and mentoring those who have a message to monetize through the spoken word.Grab Steve's book “From Stage Fright to Spotlight” for 100% FREE: https://stevelowell.com/free-book/Connect with Steve:Website: https://stevelowell.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/steve.lowell LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevelowell YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/stevelowell Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstevelowell Twitter: https://twitter.com/stevelowellWant to learn more about how to build a successful online business from the ground up? Grab your FREE copy of our online course, "Zero to $20k Blueprint" where you'll learn how to build a simple, scalable online marketing system that will quickly generate paying customers & clients for your online business.Get it NOW, by visiting our website at https://DigitalTrailblazer.com✅ Connect With Us:Website - https://DigitalTrailblazer.comFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/digitaltrailblazer/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@digitaltrailblazerTwitter: https://twitter.com/DgtlTrailblazerInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/DigitalTrailblazer

00:00 - Good Morning00:15 - As seen on TV...01:56 - Guests05:33 - MDYmonthly.com06:31 - Emails09:45 - MDYsponsor.com11:12 - Questions of the Day14:35 - Amud Beis15:13 - Amud Aleph39:16 - Amud Beis41:13 - Zoom Guests41:53 - Amud Beis Con.53:22 - Have a Wonderful DayQuiz - http://Kahoot.MDYdaf.com--Today's shiur is sponsoredAnonymous - For the safe and speedy return of all the hostages&לע״נ זכריה בן משהלע״נ חיה בת יוסף&Binyomin Rosenfeld: For all the zchusim that come from supporting limud HaTorah&Health and strength for Rav Eli​&the Lock family Lakewood NJ, because תורה is the best סגולה​&Yosef Ben Chaya Sara for Parnassa B'revach&Eugene Weisberg: לעילוי נשמת מנחם מנדל בן יהודה​--Turning of the daf:The Belsky family:In memory of Simcha Berel Dovid A"H ben Avraham Moshe&Kidnovations LLC:In honor of my Uncle Reb Elchanan Pressman and Fishel. It should be a zechus for Akiva Simcha Ben Fayga, a shidduch for רבקה יהודית בת יפה חיה and a THANK YOU to Rebbitzen Stefansky for selflessly giving up her husband for the klal. It should be a zechus for a year filled with Mazel, Bracha, hatzlacha, Parnassa B'revach and Refuah_________________________________

On this episode the girls talked about their favorite AS SEEN ON TV golf clubs. We also dive into our favorite shanks that we have had over the years. Mark recently took a trip to Edmonton to preform shows and kinda wants to move there? (That's the vibe I was getting) This episode is brought to you by Lucy. Go to lucy.co/friday and use code friday for 20% (Contains nicotine).Thank you also to Riki, go get you some of that canned cocktail goodness!

Hang on tight for a fun-filled episode of The Giz Wiz! This week, we've got a bubbly toy that'll shake up your kid's playtime, a magnetic playset that'll twist your creativity, and a real-life chest to store all your blocky treasures! Plus, Chad's Crappy Corner delivers another As Seen on TV gem you didn't know you needed!

Hang on tight for a fun-filled episode of The Giz Wiz! This week, we've got a bubbly toy that'll shake up your kid's playtime, a magnetic playset that'll twist your creativity, and a real-life chest to store all your blocky treasures! Plus, Chad's Crappy Corner delivers another As Seen on TV gem you didn't know you needed!

In today's episode, I sit down with Forbes Riley, a dynamic entrepreneur, motivational speaker, and fitness icon known for her groundbreaking work in the As Seen on TV industry and her impact in health and wellness. Forbes shares her journey from a young actress to a successful businesswoman, detailing her resilience through personal challenges and her commitment to helping others shine. We discuss the power of manifesting dreams, redefining success at any age, and the importance of living fully and authentically. Forbes's inspiring story, her passion for empowering others, and her insights on health and legacy will leave you motivated to seize every moment.

'koi.' Collection II - 'antithesis.' Track 03. - 'koi.' Prod. By Blū Tha Gürū. They said I must never go black— Or I may not come back— And so I decided, upon that day, that I must go black, whilst also being able to still “go back” and so— I became— …”Jack Black” So what was your name before, then? …that's not important. [The IMPENETRABLE TEN] Tina Fey - the boss of things and people's Yeah, but what's her power? That is her power I'm not doing this show! You are doing this show. Amy Peohler or however you spell it Gazunrite. You're—welcome? What's her power? Fear of NOTHING. (And I mean absolutely nothing. ) At all. Ever. Maya Rudolph - is actually an ancient psyc mystic who crafts potions, casts spells, enchants objects, and crafts vehicles capable of entering interdimensional hyperspace, Ratchel Dratch - power over cats — as many as all the cats in the world at once, sometimes, even. Kristen Wiig- bewilderment - bedazzling Kristen Shaal mindfuckery/ mindbowing Melissa Mccarthy - general shapeshifting and miscellaneous. Miscellaneous? The Cosmic Avenger Damn. That dude lost his whole name. He lost everything. What's his power. Shut up. (Whatever.) So what are the rest of their names, then? What, they want names? I just figured out their powers! (Besides shape shifting and scaring the everlivingshit out of people—) AIGH! *toots* (Sometimes literally.) Are we really sinking low enough to do fart jokes? Are we really squatting low enough to actually— *toots* {Enter The Multiverse} Yes. “The Toot Fairy” What! Which one is that! (I'll let you figure it out.) MS. CELLANEOUS. MISS CILANEOUS? MIS— That's— MELISSA MCCARTHY OBVIOUSLY, it's me—right? It's me? It's— whatever. {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S CUT TO: Oh, I get it— They're Taylor swifting me! Taylor swifting is the act of making threatning or frightening gestures to a future celebrity in order to make them jump, react or flinch. [Taylor Swift] As you can see, this has worked miraculously well. [shit blows up] People screaming, panicking— Trampling, stampeding TAYLOR SWIFT -_- {Enter The Multiverse} SETH MCFARLENE Only ever pretty much says *giggity* And— Yee. —and nobody is sure that its even him the whole time, or just like— [another alien shapeshifter] Giggity. Yee. His entire character arch is literally almost having no other lines, to his frustration, as he tries to communicate his wants and needs, but cannot. (throwing his arms up in frustration) YEE. *big mad* GIGGITY. CUT TO: WHERE ARE MY PANTS? YONCÉ, WHERE'S THAT COFEE? I'M COMING, JESUS– JESUS Watch it. Amen. If you drop that watermelon, i'll kill you. Oh NO! Ok. Ok. [pause] Now, run. DON'T DROP THE SOAP. WHAT *SOAP* W000000AHHH. THIS IS OUT OF CONTROL. THIS IS OUT OF– GOD I got this. GOD, YOU'RE DRUNK You know, this one was almost right– You got your dopplegangers? UH huh. Alright. Come on. Hm. Wait. Just make sure s/he– Is it a “she” Whatever, come on. Just make sure she sees you. Look. I just got. A lot on my mind right now, I can't write this. GOF I got this. Wtf is going on HERE. VO. Hmm let me guess YOUNG JACK BLACK [Insert here] Close enough. I got this. Something, something– lalala OK, GET ME OUT OF THIS MOVIE GET ME OUT OF THIS PARTY. I WANT TO GO HOME. GOD, GO HOME, YOU'RE DRUNK. THIS IS MY HOUSE. That's right. It's your HOUSE: GODDAMN RIGHT IT IS. SO go HOME. GOD YOu know what. You're right. I don't need this. FInally. God, she's so wasted. Where's my Keys? OKay, now i'm understanding DRIVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Jesus, this thing just goes on and Look at this point , ALICIA KEYS I'm on it. GOD is writing this, i'm just– An actor, I guess. TV-MA Drama When the— [The Festival Project ™ ] Nvm? I guess!? RITA is the first AI designed specifically with asset protection in mind— RITA, protect my assets. LATER: RITA (robotic voice, but gangster) Yo, Peter. RITA [robotic AI voice] This mother fucker right here actually tried to play me for a fool. Please elaborate, RITA RITA Divulging plot for political assasination and asset liquidation… In the heights Complications Man, it's just crazy how they assimilated you with reverence What exactly does that even mean? Let's find out You know what? You're right. Reverend. Major Tom. Sire! You must come quickly. Must I? You must *must DIE!* For what? No time for an explanation, the page is turning SN-TRASHFREE-4XR4-ZV6W-4ZR4-VYA9 It ain't easy being supa me So I switch it to sunni b So sweet, I'm a honey be Money don't mean a thing If I ain't got no love in it I been craving some Mickey d's But I'm vegan, so luckily My energy is tripling Three threes, I bet your listening I'm livin in the Kingdom of Heaven yes I'm blessed, kids; That was just a test, kids -ū It's true, this: I didn't want to do this: I'm sick of this Sunnï Blū shit If orange is the new black And hello yellow Like pikachu, I choose too Pull it like a loose tooth, Loose change, two strange truths To shoot thru Pull up in AK I might shoot ū LA one day, Uptown A Confused YouTube Today to JFK Poof, dude! I'm the toothe fairy You should bury me—like seeds I grow trees and I Speak in tongues, (just like cree, RIP, though) You can't scare me, I don't care And I'm too aware of you Tie you to a chair And I'm preparing you for Cake, bitch Happy Birthday, I'm famous, baby just don't— Baby don't leave Baby don't leave Baby don't leave Baby don't leave! Maybe I spoke too soon I opened your notebook, so consumer Prove me wrong but I could be much blonder And I could have two sons And one less drunk Ex-husband (That's funny, don't.) Shh. Don't bring it up again Cause it's beginning to ruffle feathers My expressions of these deep regressions No regrets though, I begets flow, 10 doors open every time One closes, So Portal— I got my foot in all of em I'm walking awkward, Cause my cock is swinging To the theme of Johnny Cochran This is not as seen on TV but amen Just promise, if you gon leave We gone stay friends, Like Jennifer Aniston Baby don't leave Baby don't leave Baby don't leave Baby don't leave! Curiosity has just killed two cats But the truth is, I just wanted the algorithm to see me Confused as to Who switched with him This isn't him, I'll admit: the one that's meant for me Or was, at least, Again, adjust my misery and memories With sympathies for something haunting me In dreams an frequencies Please, believe me I needed you And might still need Somebody Everybody's nothing but just a body or a hobby Not a husband, or a daughter, Or a son: All I lost was Over Okay, stop it What you've got to know is: Every time this lady sings this song, Something amazing happens– What is so great about this– I don't get it. But like, Behind her. Every time. Does not disappoint What do you want from me? Ooh, it's bad . What don't I want from you? [BILLIE ELLISH'S Grammies begin singing in a harmony, forming a great symphony. She doubles back, pausing for a moment—then shrugging it off, before a grand gesture I'm on my hands and knees Just seeing dreams Whatare you saving it for What are you saving it for Grocery store horror show Slow motion drum roll What are you saving it for What are you saving it for I'd rather a friend than a father figure Video games and department show shopping Discretion and internet interests, Never more than the start in Athens The triad, the triggers You promised! Though not as important Of the promise you once made No more arguments, man It's like all of a sudden, She loves me again But it doesn't take back all the things she said All the things she did All the things I did For the things she did All the things she said For the things she did The things she said The things she said Plant a seed, let it grow Let it breathe, don't you know Take it easy, the day off Don't say a word, Don't move a muscle Easy, easy on the eyes Easy, easier on the years Shivers on the mark of the beast Cause it's been 6 years at least Since he— Don't do it: Time moves different here, In the 9th dimension Light a candle, spread some ashes on some Simple synchronicities Remember me When you forget yourself To be remembered remember the family Fame, defiling, misfortune The torture The fortune My name up in lights on the awning I'm under In some google drive A long drive out from Boston Bassoon in my onyx My name in the Name in the Cherubs on the tusks Cheeriot on top I polished off a box of cereal On some rooftop Just earlier, Thanks for the reminder. Imm burned as the beats on the countertop Burned, like the end of the gun Could have forgotten your number Could have figured the father for Dollars I've got in the [The Festival Project ™] The pleasure sensors Changing with the wind —I have a lot to do today Staring at the plague Became the fit To get the fitness in her Seven sacred songs she's writing Kept beneath her pillow Like a gunfight But who moved faster!? She wished and then became another Never narrow eyes Or birds of feather Playing games and praying Saving for yourself Only the best part Remember then The games we played At heavens gates From light, Eternal Death (The plague, the plague) Fastened in your monster, Facinating embers in your memory You thought you'd burned But are awakened once again Playing in your memory For time, the shadow Waiting under blue light In your room (The plague, the plague) Move over Four hours in the light, and 20 in the shadows; A good man always does Bad things, With a family. Staying balanced, 20 icons becoming unmantled 20 eyes, and only one soul One, God But it runs the whole world, Don't it! I want a dozen donuts, And one more problem 20 Hours in the Dark, For four hours or so, We're rolling. I meditated a home in Zion In Athens, in Rome, once The only problem was, It was pro- Pompei part one. (I'm gonna go off.) Don't you get it, Ms. That depositing your money In my spank bank Is paying you a compliment? Don't you know that I love you? We have the same taste in men! Don't you know that I love God, And she wouldn't steer me wrong about That one object, I've been Dying my eyes on And plucking my blondes Doing wall squats I love all mantras Old classic cars, —flavored sparking water I love jackets And purses And politics Irons And orgasms I love what I love And a curse is a curse— For a robot But I woke up with blood in my boner And mugs full of coffee I'm on God (Keep slamming the door, you'll get older.) I'm growing backwards like Benjamin button That's Benjamin Franklin And frankly Thomas Edison died —whose that check complimenting? I want a divorce And a shovel Police report promises Amazon out of my arteries Objects and all of the Things that I want That God promised For watching Tonight Show (the one starring Carson) I picked Jack Paar. That wasn't an option. Well, that's my choice. Fine, but you're not winning any arguments with that one. What arguments. Nobody knows who that guy is. I can name them in order The dojo was open this morning The Dodji was functional; All Aliocha For all of my Honest to God, I want water and salt At the same time Where'd you go when you died? Looking for you! That— !! I was there the whole time. INT. NEW YORK. DAY Bad decisions were indeed about to be made. The time is currently frozen. Speaking of frozen… let it GO. I don't know. I've been fascinated with the talking heads lately…I think that might be one of them. No, this is more like scary monsters —and super creeps. Hm. I'll have to admit— This is getting quite interesting; Oh, hello. First, there was the ghost of Johnny Carson. How do you do? How do you do? That guy is wild af. Or was. Now there's this Jack Paar Guy, who I'm sure is somehow…. Oh, the magic of television! Is it possible that The Devil could be using this man as a disguise to hant me with temptation, and bend my mind? It is possible that Jimmy Fallon is the devil himself, yes. I doubt that. I frankly don't, in fact. I'd yet at all discovered what his true placement within the hierarchy were; an obvious workhorse, and successful operative— this man was indeed being used by someone or something— but the only question left standing was— WHO? Don't you touch that man. He's fragile. There, there. I've become quite belligerent lately and my intentions are no longer as certain even to myself as they once were before— but definitely not to anyone else. Is there anyone else? I thought you should know, they've found your letter. Which letter, exactly? Aha, alright— That's enough, now. Heathens. Whatever. Stay out of my way. Stay out of my face. I'll try not to pose as a camera. What the fuck are you doing? I'm taking a nap. How could you sleep like this?! I'm not sleeping like that. I'm sleeping like this. whatever. Didn't I tell you before to lay off of it? I did lay off of it. It kept laying back on. And? And?! What do you want? I've got mind controlled robot drones circling my block, one to the left of my apartment and one to my right. I might be the only free thinking person in this neighborhood for miles. And you've chosen with all of your free thoughts to think about Jimmy Fallon? I've chosen not to talk about the recurring thoughts that I can't talk about—- And chosen to focus on the multiple dramas interwoven into the project which may- or-may- not involve a handful of like-minded and equally skilled monologuists and top not performers as such Oh, nevermind—- I figured out what he was, after all. {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S No, that was the other one. It's gonna be really hard for me to sit here and not slap the shit out of you. I can't feel, anyway. (Shrugs) all for the best. Strawberry cornbread. That does sound good. Whatever. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū

Romantic vs cute. The unexpected text.  Marci will measure her vacation thrills (no, not all of them). Marci's pina colada machine. What went wrong at the post office. Things Turi taught her kids, especially “the complainer”.  If you screw up, you will learn.

Exactly what it sounds like—only plural. Marci reveals her research techniques for purchasing only the best—sometimes.  Who cares if it works, as long as it's pretty, (Especially if it's on TV)?

Send us a Text Message.Kevin Harrington is an Original Shark, mentor and business partner of mine. In this interview he has tons of investing, branding and marketing knowledge to share from the As Seen on TV days all the way to growing the energy drink Celsius more recently!Follow Kevin on social media: @RealKevinHarringtonThank you for the support and for listening!Let's work together further:- https://accelerantmediagroup.com/- https://www.igniteandelevate.com/Share your thoughts with me on Instagram! @brandontadams Contact me: www.brandontadams.comText me: (563)217-6850

It's commercial break between your cartoons, and you just saw an infomercial for the coolest new gadget for only $19.95! You must be 18 years or older to order, but that doesn't stop you from dreaming of having your very own "As Seen On TV" product delivered straight to you! From Pillow Pets to ShamWow, let's talk about some of the most ICONIC As Seen On TV commercials!IGThe Fuzzy PodMeganMadiYoutubeThe Fuzzy PodSubscribe to our Patreon for a bonus episode the first Monday of every month!

Send us a Text Message.The anniversary of the OG of found-footage movies, Blair Witch Project. The trailblazing but ultimately failed attempt of the Sega Channel. The best As-Seen-On-TV products. Episode 152 is like an infomercial for nostalgia.We start with the ingenious trauma caused by the Blair Witch Project. 25 years ago this groundbreaking film expertly blurred the ones between fiction and reality with its guerilla marketing campaign. Take a terrifying trip back to 1999.Long before streaming video games a staple of the gaming industry took a risk. The Sega Channel was the definition of ahead of its time. We go way Back In the Day to find out more about the trails it blazed and also why it ended up failing.We've heard the worst, we've heard the funniest, this week's Top 5 features the best As-Seen-On-TV products. Did you own any of these?There is also a brand new This Week In History and Time Capsule centered around the infamous Disco Demolition Night in Major League Baseball.For more great content become a subscriber on Patreon!Helpful Links from this EpisodeThe Lady of the Dunes.comPurchase My New Book Cape Cod Beyond the Beach!In My Footsteps: A Cape Cod Travel Guide(2nd Edition)Hooked By Kiwi - Etsy.comWear Your Wish.com - Clothing, Accessories, and moreDJ Williams MusicKeeKee's Cape Cod KitchenChristopher Setterlund.comCape Cod Living - Zazzle StoreSubscribe on YouTube!Initial Impressions 2.0 BlogShelter of the Monument Book - Yvonne DeSousa.comListen to Episode 151 here Support the Show.

Viktor Devonne speaks with international comedian/stunt performer the Amazing Boobzilla.  As seen on TV, Zilla and Viktor talk about living and performing with the attributes of Gigantomastia, hirsutism, and some other surprises along the way; becoming a cult icon, the magic behind the stunts and sports, frequently going viral, the phrases that exist in the industry incl. "freak" and "bearded lady."  Blasting through the male gaze as a female sideshow entertainer, who frequently faces misogyny due to the type of skillset they employ.  Boobzilla appeared at the Burlesque Hall of Fame Movers, Shakers, and Innovators in 2023, and won the title Sideshow Superstar in 2024 at the Silver Tusk Awards. This episode was recorded on June 13, 2024. Note: for the privacy of some other entertainers, Viktor has bleeped a few names during the Greatest Showman talk. Give love to the folks... Zilla on IG: https://www.instagram.com/amazingboobzilla/ Zilla on iWonder: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/TClDjnYCESA Zilla on Freakshow: https://tubitv.com/tv-shows/474761/s02-e02-boobzilla-comes-to-town More Zilla: https://linktr.ee/AmazingBoobzilla More Viktor: https://www.instagram.com/viktordevonne/  More WEBurlesque: https://weburlesquepodcast.com/ | https://www.instagram.com/weburlesque/ FOOTCLOTHES! Get 10% off your order with the code VIKTORDEVONNE at www.footclothes.com

In this episode the gang delves into what it means to be a CREEP... as seen on TV. This 2014 movie packs a wallop. A creepy one, at that. CREEP. Stay tunes for more Creep next week bros.NEXT EPISODE ➟ Creep 2 (2017)SCREAM! PODCAST WEBSITE ➟ https://www.thescreampodcast.com/PATREON (BONUS EPISODES, VIDEO CONTENT, AND MORE!) ➟ https://patreon.com/screampodcastSCREAM! SOCIALS: Instagram ➟ https://z-p42.www.instagram.com/screampodcast/Facebook ➟ https://www.facebook.com/thescreampod/?ref=py_cSCREAMPODCAST@YAHOO.COMHORROR SOUP SOCIALS: Instagram ➟ https://www.instagram.com/horrorsoup/?hl=enYOUTUBE ➟ https://www.youtube.com/c/HorrorSoupLETTERBOXD (MOVIE REVIEW APP) ➟ https://letterboxd.com/horrorsoupcaleb/~Music Credits~ETHAN HURT – WWW.ETHANHURT.COMKYLE HERMAN - @iamkyleherman on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

An original “shark” on the hit TV show Shark Tank, the creator of the infomercial, pioneer of the As Seen on TV brand, and co-founding board member of the Entrepreneur's Organization—Kevin Harrington has pushed past all the questions and excuses to repeatedly enjoy 100X success. His legendary work behind-the-scenes of business ventures has produced well over $5 billion in global sales, the launch of more than 500 products, and the making dozens of millionaires. Twenty of his companies have each topped $100 million in revenue. Listen to this informative Sharkpreneur episode with Kevin Harrington about his lifelong entrepreneurial journey. Here are some of the beneficial topics covered on this week's show: - How Kevin is still passionate about entrepreneurship and finding new opportunities. - How Kevin has created numerous millionaires through his investments. - How Kevin still receives around 1000 pitches per month, which is a testament to his reputation and success. - How Kevin has been able to step back allowing his son and team to manage much of the business. - How saying no to most opportunities is important when scaling a business. Connect with Kevin: Guest Contact Info X @HarringtonKevin Instagram @realkevinharrington Facebook facebook.com/officialkevinharrington LinkedIn linkedin.com/in/thekevinharrington Links Mentioned: kevinharrington.tv Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're bringing back your favorite sister duo — none other than Disney's own Aly and AJ (We're feeling StarStruck)! This encore episode will leave you longing for the days of back-to-back DCOMs (shoutout Cow Belles!), As Seen on TV commercials, and of course, listening to your favorite Aly & AJ song on your mp3 player.“This is Keke Palmer from “Jump In”, and you're watching Disney Channel!” MAN what a throwback! Those were the days! There was something so special about Disney Channel; the TV shows, the DCOMS, even the online games were so much fun! But has it changed? Has Disney Channel lost its magic? Do we need to write a “Potential Breakup Song” for our former happy place? This week we are joined by Aly and AJ to chat all about our favorite memories of working for The Mouse and what it was like growing up being part of such an iconic network. Plus if you watch us on YouTube, you'll see our version of making the iconic Disney Channel Mickey Ears. So “Jump in” loves, because this is one of our most magical episodes yet. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Heather talks with these amazing women about women in business, success, not forgetting the divine feminine and so much more. BE… is not your ordinary business book. It's a hybrid of personal development, self-transformation, and a deep activation of the female entrepreneurial spirit. A shared vision uniquely co-authored by three accomplished women, BE… is a labor of love from their combined decades of professional experiences and entrepreneurial journeys. Delivered as a tell-all, BE… is the best practices and methods to launch and scale a successful physical product business. In their first book together, based on the Rock Your Product® system, Ashley Black, Korie Minkus, and Lisa Vrancken weave together holistic principles of self-discovery with proven proprietary business philosophies and product-to-market formula. The authors have generated billions in revenue, launched hundreds of products, and scaled well-recognized brands while expertly navigating the competitive marketplace. Written for women by women, BE… is the modern guide for female entrepreneurs at every stage of business. The authors lyrically synthesize their personal stories, interview masters in their respective fields, and collaborate with celebrity entrepreneurs with passion and purpose. The result is a groundbreaking book—a truth serum, a collection of industry secrets, and a blueprint for creating a prosperous physical product business. This book offers a one-of-a-kind business approach, paired with spiritual movements, actionable exercises, and featured stories of real female founders' pitfalls and triumphs. It provides the ultimate foundation for the entrepreneurial mission. Ashley Black is the #1 national bestselling author of The Cellulite Myth, co-author of the scientific paper "The Effects of Fascia Manipulation with Fascia Devices on Myofascial Tissue, Subcutaneous Fat and Cellulite in Adult Women," ; and the inventor of the FasciaBlaster®. Ashley is a unicorn business owner, starting from ground zero and generating over 100 million dollars in revenue. With more than fifty patents, she was named ABA's Entrepreneur of the Year in 2020. She was a TEDx speaker, and she currently owns one of the fastest-growing private companies in America. Korie Minkus is an American entrepreneur, advocate for business founders, and a culture shifter. She is the CEO of Industry Rockstar® and Founded Rock Your Product®, the world's #1 business training and portfolio investment company for entrepreneurs. Lisa Vrancken is an award-winning producer and documentary filmmaker with over two decades of expertise as an internationally-renowned brand and media strategist. In her current role as Executive Vice President of Fortune Media Group, Inc., she spearheads programming for Shark Discoveries and AsSeenOnTv.pro with prominent host Kevin Harrington—the original Shark from the Emmy award-winning entrepreneurial-themed reality TV show, Shark Tank. OUAI- Frizz-free up your schedule with OUAI. Go to www.theouai.com and enter promo code INMYHEART for 15% off any product. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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