Podcasts about social skills coaching

The Science of Social Intelligence: 45 Methods to Captivate People, Make a Powerful Impression, and Subconsciously Trigger Social Status and Value [Second ... (The Psychology of Social Dynamics Book 7) By Patrick KingHear it Here - https://bit.ly/socialintelkinghttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0893ZRW1BHello, listeners! This is Russell on "Social Skills Coaching," where we're delving into social psychology to become more likable, charismatic, and productive. Today, March 26, 2025, brings an exciting episode with a special focus from Patrick King's book, The Science of Social Intelligence.In this book, You'll learn to understand and leverage motivation and popularity dynamics in social situations for better outcomes. We will cover key topics such as how dominance is different than prestige but equally important to projecting an appealing persona, why warmth matters more over competence when forming connections with others, and strategies to increase your own perceived value without compromising personal integrity or authenticity. Join us in unraveling the science of social interaction that will empower you for better relationships today!

No one likes 'networking', and the process of meeting new people can sometimes be like pulling teeth.How are you, how many siblings do you have, did you have a commute, how long have you lived here, where did you go to university...?! YIKES.Let's change small talk into real talk that leads to rapport and deeper friendships.SMALL TALK THAT DOESN'T SUCK - the title tells you all you need to know. How to go from a stranger to a deeper connection extremely quickly, while avoiding most of the awkwardness and useless topics that are inherent.You'll understand what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. Extremely specific guidelines and prompts in this book to keep people engaged and opening up in any conversation.What to say and when to say to be likable, connect, and make a memorable impression.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience. He suffered for years as a shy introvert and managed to boil human interaction down to a science - first for himself, and now for you.NO MORE: interview mode, awkward silence, or struggling to hold people's attention.- Reading and working with different types of conversational energy and flow- Adding salt and acid to an interaction - what and how?!- Why and when you should mention your flaws, and how they are like conversational bait- What is "medium" talk and how to skip directly to it- Six guidelines to the art of asking amazing questions- Storytelling 101- How to use interruptions to your advantage?!Become someone who is magnetic and who can make new friends in any situation.Simple conversation is the gatekeeper to friendships, your dream career, romance, and overall happiness. The ability to connect with anyone is an underrated superpower. People will be more drawn to you without even knowing why, and never again people will people be bored talking to you. You'll never run out of things to say when you master these conversation tactics. https://www.audible.com/pd/B0D6S1FHJ1/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWU-BK-ACX0-402704&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_402704_pd_us#CognitiveEmpathy #Patrick #PatrickKing #SMALLTALKTHATDOESNTSUCK #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #SmallTalkthatDoesn'tSuckCognitive Empathy,Patrick,Patrick King,SMALL TALK THAT DOESNT SUCK,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Small Talk that Doesn't Suck

No one likes 'networking', and the process of meeting new people can sometimes be like pulling teeth.How are you, how many siblings do you have, did you have a commute, how long have you lived here, where did you go to university...?! YIKES.Let's change small talk into real talk that leads to rapport and deeper friendships.SMALL TALK THAT DOESN'T SUCK - the title tells you all you need to know. How to go from a stranger to a deeper connection extremely quickly, while avoiding most of the awkwardness and useless topics that are inherent.You'll understand what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. Extremely specific guidelines and prompts in this book to keep people engaged and opening up in any conversation.What to say and when to say to be likable, connect, and make a memorable impression.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience. He suffered for years as a shy introvert and managed to boil human interaction down to a science - first for himself, and now for you.NO MORE: interview mode, awkward silence, or struggling to hold people's attention.- Reading and working with different types of conversational energy and flow- Adding salt and acid to an interaction - what and how?!- Why and when you should mention your flaws, and how they are like conversational bait- What is "medium" talk and how to skip directly to it- Six guidelines to the art of asking amazing questions- Storytelling 101- How to use interruptions to your advantage?!Become someone who is magnetic and who can make new friends in any situation.Simple conversation is the gatekeeper to friendships, your dream career, romance, and overall happiness. The ability to connect with anyone is an underrated superpower. People will be more drawn to you without even knowing why, and never again people will people be bored talking to you. You'll never run out of things to say when you master these conversation tactics. https://www.audible.com/pd/B0D6S1FHJ1/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWU-BK-ACX0-402704&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_402704_pd_us#CognitiveEmpathy #Patrick #PatrickKing #SMALLTALKTHATDOESNTSUCK #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #SmallTalkthatDoesn'tSuckCognitive Empathy,Patrick,Patrick King,SMALL TALK THAT DOESNT SUCK,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Small Talk that Doesn't Suck

You are missing out on so many relationships in your life.Communication is the bedrock of our relationships. But we often don't know how to express ourselves, or truly hear others. Make sure that you are not letting amazing people pass you by.Increase your social and emotional awareness.Conversations Skills Training is truly about arming you with the tools you need for effective expression, listening, and relationships. Communication is the primary contributor to the relationships we attract in our lives, and this book takes you through almost every aspect of successful connection.Imagine being able to walk into a room and make friends with strangers, avoid conflict, and have a charismatic presence. It's not so tough, it just needs purposeful practice. This book will be your best field guide to knowing how to deal with people, their emotions, and your own emotions.Get ahead in your career – because conversations skills gets promotions, not technical skills.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real-life experience.The keys to preventing and dealing with conflict or other uncomfortable situations. Identify your communication style, and why it might be holding you back Exactly how much eye contact to use for emotional connection One acronym to substantially improve your conversations How to “hear” people's emotions and make people trust you Defusing conflict and tough situations How to say no and assert yourself to anyone An ancient Greek persuasion technique that works in any situationRead people like a book – their emotions, feelings, and thoughts!www.audible.com/pd/B0CQDGKQ8V/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWU-BK-ACX0-380016&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_380016_pd_us#Communication #CommunicationStyle #Conversation #ConversationSkillsTraining #PassiveCommunicator #PatrickKing #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ConversationSkillsTrainingCommunication,Communication Style,Conversation,Conversation Skills Training,Passive Communicator,Patrick King,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Conversation Skills Training

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• “Cooperative overlapping” is different from interrupting. It's about talking along with the speaker, not to undermine or cut them off, but to validate what they're saying, give encouragement, and show that they're paying close attention. It can vary across cultures; neither way is right, but try to acknowledge and accommodate differences.00:00:00 Hello listeners00:04:29 Try to be alert of the different kinds of interrupting/overlapping00:08:49 Mastering Turn-Taking00:13:08 When They're the Conversational Narcissist00:21:27 Summary• Turn-taking rules can be complex and culture-bound, but a big part of learning to be charming, likeable, and a good communicator is to constantly be appraising the situation and adapting and adjusting yourself accordingly.• When dealing with a conversational narcissist, don't try to rescue the conversation by being more attentive, understanding, and charming yourself, or you'll be taken advantage of. Instead use the gray rock technique and be aloof and unresponsive until they lose interest, and minimize contact as much as possible. Tighten up boundaries.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• People generally talk about things for a specific reason. If you can hear between the lines and find out what that reason is, you can have deeper conversations with others that are enjoyable for both of you. • Doing this isn't especially hard; all you need to do is pay attention to what is being said. People organically bring up topics they are interested in, and their body language will very obviously indicate excitement or happiness while talking about that subject. With practice, you'll be able to spot these telltale signs better and use them to have more fun and engaging conversations. • When someone is telling you something, try to determine what emotion is being conveyed. People are generally looking for some specific emotional reaction from you when they say something. It could be anger, a smile, amazement, curiosity, or something else. If you can figure out what emotion they're trying to convey and what they're expecting in return, you'll make the other person feel understood and appreciated. Remember that conversations aren't all about you. It's an activity that involves mutual sharing and listening. Reacting to the other person's emotions appropriately shows that you're paying attention and actually care about what they're saying. This is why you should react to everything. don't ignore or let comments or nonverbal gestures just pass with no response.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:00:00 Hello listeners. Welcome to Social Skills Coaching.00:01:00.070 Match and Mirror Internal Communication Cues00:05:23.610 Match on Content 00:10:46.720 Expressing Without Speaking00:16:22.630 Posture and Body Orientation00:20:28.560 Eye Contact00:24:38.790 Paralinguistics00:26:09.440 The Four Ps of VoiceHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjIFeeling lost in conversation? This video is your one-stop guide to mastering the fundamentals of communication! We'll break down Chapter 1 of [Book Title] by [Author Name], diving deep into: Identifying Your Communication Style: Discover your strengths and weaknesses as a communicator. Psychological Barriers: Learn how to overcome common hurdles that block effective communication. The Rapport Game: Unlock the secrets of building trust and connection with anyone. Expressing Without Speaking: The power of nonverbal communication - understand body language and paralinguistics. Summary Guide: Recap the key takeaways from Chapter 1 for easy reference.Bonus: We'll provide actionable tips to help you immediately improve your communication skills!Ready to become a communication master? Watch now!

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:55 Are You a Conversational Narcissist?00:11:01 The Power of the Support Response00:17:03 ALBRECHT'S RULE OF THREE FOR CONVERSATIONSHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• The biggest threat to connecting well with others is conversational narcissism—i.e., the tendency of centering ourselves, talking too much, steering the topic, interrupting, invalidating others, bragging, manipulating, or acting superior to others. Everyone has the potential to be narcissistic in conversation at times.• A shift response is an attempt to bring the focus and attention of a conversation back to yourself. A support response maintains that focus and attention on the other person. A great way to reduce conversational narcissism is to use fewer shift responses and more support responses. When used well, support responses lead to better, more fulfilling conversations for everyone.• Dr. Karl Albrecht says that all conversations can be broken down into three fundamental components: declaratives, questions, and conditionals. His rule of three is to never make three declarative statements in a row without a question or conditional statement. • Declarations can be presented as statements of fact whether they are or aren't, and can shut down conversations or act as shift responses. Conditionals are modified, weaker forms of declarations that acknowledge their own subjectivity. #Keywords #Make #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #WhenEgoGetsInTheWayPatrickKing

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI • This chapter is about how to steer conversations to different topics without making things seem restrictive. One critical aspect of talking to people is ability to transition between topics seamlessly. Many people struggle with this because they often want to discuss specific things and end up making the conversation rigid. • The key rule to be remembered here is the “yes, and” rule. Whenever someone states a proposition, your response should be to agree to it, and contribute a line that will keep the conversation going. Simply agreeing isn't enough, since it brings the conversation to a dead end. Disagreeing is even worse, because it might make you come across as combative and unsympathetic. • Don't be afraid to enter into conversational topics that you don't know much about. You might just end up learning something new, and you'll see that your fears about coming across as dumb are unfounded. If you keep conversations open-ended, people will naturally want to talk to you because they will feel like they can share anything with you. • A more negative version of the “yes, and” rule is the “yes, but” rule. It's similar, but the latter immediately makes the other person think of you as argumentative. This is because, unlike the “yes, and” rule, it doesn't help the conversation flow. #improveyourconversationskills #communicationskills #socialskillstips #charismatips #likabilitytips #"Yes #AND..."technique #conversationflow #activelistening #overcomingconversationanxiety #improv #communication #socialskills #charisma #likability #conversation #activelistening #socialanxiety #self-improvement #personaldevelopment #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #ImproveYourConversations #AlwaysSay“Yes #AND…” #PatrickKing

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:03:17.360 Constantly Interrupting00:05:38.100 Using Qualifiers00:06:53.900 Equating Your Experiences00:08:02.139 Floundering00:09:13.940 Waiting Instead of Listening00:13:42.170 The Rapport Game00:15:09.470 Mirroring and Matching00:18:48.220 Way 1: Match and Mirror External Communication Cues00:21:06.070 Way 2: Match and Mirror Voice and LanguageHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI#ConversationSkills #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ConversationSkillsTraining #OtherBadCommunicationHabitsToAvoid

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:10:46 Four Easy Self-Disclosure Rules.00:14:38 Mini Self-Disclosures.00:17:30 How to Respond to Someone Else's Disclosure.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Vulnerability is essential for human connection, and appropriate self-disclosure creates trust, authenticity, and intimacy. Self-disclosure is intentionally sharing personal information that other people wouldn't know unless we chose to tell them. The most effective kind of self-disclosure is the one that only slightly pushes the current state of affairs toward more intimacy.• Friendship-making is an upward spiral of mutual and incremental disclosures over time. Keep things symmetrical, gradual, positive, and small at first. #BanterLand #Chunking #Derlega #Disclosure #Selfdisclosure #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #TurningOnTheCharm:PrinciplesOfSelf-Disclosure

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI00:08:18 Preconceived Attitudes00:17:48 Judgment and Premature Evaluation.•••••••••••#Conversation #ConversationSkillsTraining #Training #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ConversationSkillsTraining #IdentifyYourCommunicationStyle

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:03:25 Why Stories Matter00:05:23 Four Elements of a Good Story00:09:28 Be Natural ... But Have a Plan00:17:16 USING WITTY BANTER IN BUILDING RAPPORT00:22:35 Technique 2: Use the Element of Surprise00:24:03 Technique 3: Sarcasm 00:26:25 Technique 4: Being Self-Referential00:28:15 Banter WarningsHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Though the real foundations of a good conversation are humility, curiosity, and open-mindedness, it's still worth learning how to tell engaging and entertaining stories. Storytelling is human, and anyone can be a good storyteller. But a story's value is in how it's perceived by the audience.• The best stories have an attention-grabbing hook; they're short, precise, and have a relevant emotional core. In conversation, a story is meant to create connection and rapport, not showcase you as interesting. Prepare somewhat by building a story “library” beforehand, then use natural transition phrases such as “You know, that reminds me of . . .”to introduce the story. Remember that telling a story is still a kind of conversation.• Witty banter is playful, clever, amusing conversation that speeds up rapport and builds closeness very rapidly. Anyone can learn to banter as long as they follow the rules: start small and build, banter WITH someone, not AT them, and a little goes a long way.• Self-deprecating or self-referential humor helps you drop your ego and shows strength and maturity, putting people at ease. Be brief and very obviously exaggerate something you're actually comfortable with. Be unexpected and use the element of surprise to grab attention and create spark and spontaneity. Flaunt conversational norms with playful sarcasm. The focus is always on building rapport, not on entertaining or impressing people.#AndyRichter #Banter #Sarcasm #ScottYoung #SelfDeprecatingHumor #Selfdeprecation #Selfreferential #WITTYBANTERINBUILDINGRAPPORT #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #TurningOnTheCharm

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI00:01:53 Dr. David Rock created the SCARF model00:05:34 Assertive Communication 00:09:17 What Makes Assertive Communicators Different 00:10:45 Ten Essential Assertive Communication Habits00:22:06 Bonus: The Broken Record Technique00:23:47 Give and Take: The Art of Feedback00:27:02 The Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) model00:30:50 The Best Way to Receive Feedback • Regulate your own emotions by being aware of the underlying needs they express: status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness. • Be assertive and communicate your needs, limits, and perspective with clarity and kindness. Be clear, calm, firm, open, in control, and respectful. Decide on the type of assertion that best fits your needs: basic, empathic, consequence, discrepancy, or negative feelings assertion. • When it comes to giving or receiving feedback, remember that it is about behaviors and actions and not about people. Be kind, but also don't take things too personally. #Assertive #AssertiveCommunication #BrokenRecordTechnique #DrDavidRock #Effective #EmotionalIntelligence #Feedback #SBI #SCARF #ThomasKilmann #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #RegulatingYourOwnEmotions

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:20 Identify Your Communication Style00:04:20 The Passive Communicator00:07:57 The Aggressive Communicator00:11:15 The Passive-Aggressive Communicator00:19:19 The Assertive CommunicatorHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• The best mindset to adopt in order to become a better communicator is the one that will best allow you to connect, meet your needs, solve problems, and express yourself. • Begin by asking yourself what your default communication style is: aggressive, passive-aggressive, or manipulative. None of these styles actually achieves the ultimate goal of communication, however. • The way you communicate is a choice. Assertive communication is the ability to express needs, wants, thoughts, and feelings directly without disrespecting or controlling others. Mature conversationalists are self-controlled, balanced, relaxed, open, and respectful.• Communicating well is simple and easy, but we need to remove the formidable psychological barriers that stand in the way. With awareness, we can remove them and improve our communication skills.#AggressiveCommunicator #AssertiveCommunicator #CommunicationStyle #ConversationSkillsTraining #ManipulativeCommunicator #PassiveAggressiveCommunicator #PassiveCommunicator #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ConversationSkillsTraining #TheBasicsAreNotSoBasic

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:46 Psychologist Shelly Gable coined the term “active and constructive responding”00:12:42 A truly active and constructive responseHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Your response to someone's good news can vary, being passive or active, constructive or destructive. Aim for active, constructive responses that acknowledge and reflect the emotion and energy in a speaker's message. • Give compliments—but keep them rare, sincere, specific, and appropriate.• Avoid giving advice. Problem-solving is best achieved by helping people discover what they themselves think, rather than telling them.#Compliment #Constructive #Destructive #Gable #PerfectCompliment #Problemsolving #PsychologistShellyGable #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #ACTIVEANDCONSTRUCTIVERESPONDING

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Conflict is inevitable whenever people differ, but it can be managed with grace and tact. Try to understand the type of conflict: affective, substantive, conflict of interest, retributive, conflict in values, goal conflict, or displaced conflict from somewhere else. • According to the Thomas Kilmann model, people come into conflict simply because they have different ideas, values, motivations, or wants. There are five conflict-resolution strategies according to degree of empathy and assertiveness: competing, avoiding, accommodating, collaborating, and compromising. Each has pros and cons and is best used in specific circumstances. Compromising (medium assertiveness and medium empathy) is usually a good bet all around.#Affective #Collaboration #Compromising #Conflict #CrosbyKerrMinnoConsulting #DisplacedConflict #Emotion #Empathy #GoalConflict #Kilmann #ProfessorAbdulGhaffar #QurtubaUniversity #RalphKilmann #RetributiveConflict #ThomasKilmann #Ventilation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #WhenItAllGoesWrong:EffectiveConflictResolutionPatrickKing

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:03:22 The Perfect Apology00:04:41 A Mistake Can Be a Good Thing!00:07:37 1. Express your genuine regret00:09:50 2. Explain what happened 00:11:20 3. Take responsibility 00:12:24 4. Repent!00:13:58 5. Offer to make amends00:15:14 6. Ask for forgivenessHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Conflict will happen, but what matters is how people respond to their mistakes. A perfect apology can actually strengthen a relationship if it consists of these six parts: expression of regret, explanation of what went wrong (without excuses or blame), taking responsibility, repentance, offering reparations, and a request for forgiveness, in order of importance. • Good apologies are sincere and match the severity of the offense. Apologize quickly and remember that you are never owed an apology. #Apologize #EQ #Lewicki #PerfectApology #Repent #Repentance #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q. #Needs #Limits #Requests #Refusals...It'SAConstantNegotiation

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:48 Karen Huang and colleagues00:05:35 Chunking Up and Down00:18:15 When to Chunk Up00:19:13 When to Chunk DownHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Research suggests that talking about yourself makes you a little less likeable, while asking questions makes you a little more likeable. Open-ended and follow-up questions especially showed the greatest relationship to likability. People like those they believe are genuinely hearing them, seeing them, and reacting to them.• Questions that chunk up or down allow you to vary the degree of detail at which you present or request information. Both approaches have their uses, but it's about balance, variety, and aligning with the other person. Become curious about where a current conversation is and whether it might need more chunking up or chunking down.#Chartrand #Chunking #ChunkingUp #GeorgeAMiller #KarenHuang #Lacan #Lacanian #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #Question-Asking

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:00:48 Judi Brownell from Cornell University 00:01:07 Here are the components of Brownell's model: H: Hearing 00:03:01 U: Understanding 00:05:01 R: Remembering 00:06:48 I: Interpreting 00:08:33 E: Evaluating 00:10:57 R: Responding 00:15:29 Don't Be a Conversational Narcissist!00:17:52 Reframe the Way You Understand the Purpose of Conversation 00:18:52 Don't Jump Ahead 00:20:04 Avoid Advice 00:21:12 Stop Centering Yourself 00:23:06 Watch Out for Passive Conversational Narcissism, too00:23:56 What If They're the Conversational Narcissist?00:26:37 The HURIER method asks us to Hear, Understand, Remember, Interpret, Evaluate, and Respond, in that order.00:26:53 Avoid being a conversational narcissist, who is someone who uses conversation to gain attention for themselves, rather than connect with others, share, or learn.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Good listening is a collection of different skills: hearing, understanding, interpreting, and responding. The HURIER method asks us to Hear, Understand, Remember, Interpret, Evaluate, and Respond, in that order. Remember that listening is active and includes both verbal and nonverbal material.• Avoid being a conversational narcissist, who is someone who uses conversation to gain attention for themselves, rather than connect with others, share, or learn. Reframe the way you understand the purpose of conversation and understand that it's not about you or your ego. Avoid giving advice, interrupting (or thinking about what you want to say), or centering yourself in the dialogue. Similarly, don't be afraid to disengage when you encounter a conversational narcissist.#AvoidAdvice #Brownell #CharlesDerber #ConversationalNarcissist #CornellUniversity #Derber #DontJumpAhead #HURIER #Narcissist #PassiveConversationalNarcissism #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #TheHURIERMethod

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Human beings are complex, and not all problems and conflicts can be solved by simply heaping on more and more empathy and understanding. Emotional intelligence means having boundaries that are not too permeable or too rigid. • Take the time to understand who you are, what you want, and what is unacceptable to you, then take responsibility for communicating that message clearly and directly to others. Whatever type of boundary you are setting a limit for (time, money, emotional energy, etc.), make sure that you are willing to follow through, and not use boundaries to passively control or manipulate others.• The DEARMAN acronym can help you make requests and refusals while staying polite. It stands for describe, express, assert, reinforce, mindfulness, appear confident, and negotiate. Emotionally mature and intelligent people take responsibility for how they navigate social spaces, and know that their needs and limits are always changing and under constant renegotiation. Real life is messy sometimes; be flexible and open to accommodation.#AppearConfident #Ask #Assert #Asserting #Boundary #Communicate #Confident #Conversational #DBT #DEARMAN #Decide #EmotionWheel #EQ #HealthyBoundaries #Mindfulness #Negotiate #Relationship #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q. #OwnYourLimitsWithHealthyBoundaries

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Give the gift of solid, respectful attention at all times. Listen generously, as though you are prepared to hear the value, the sense, and the meaning in everything you hear. Don't let your desire to seem like a good listener get in the way of actually being one. Let people know you are listening with small verbal and nonverbal gestures.• Try not to let your own perspective impair your ability to understand somebody else's. Start from a position of ignorance and work your way up to real understanding, rather than making assumptions about what other people's experiences mean. • To be a good listener, practice restating what you are told, paraphrase that content in your own words, summarize what you're hearing in a useful way (or else condense things by labeling the core emotion), then potentially reframe the story or gently suggest something new if this might help solve a problem or create an emotional resolution. Do this without assumptions, biases, or interpretations, but with a mind to truly understand the other person's point of view. #BeMindful #Concentrate #GoodListener #Listening #Mindful #Paraphrase #PayCloseAttention #Reframe #Restate #Summarize #Paraphrase #Summarizing #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #TheFriendshipMindset #THEARTOFACTIVELISTENING #PatrickKing

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• One of the easiest ways to connect with another person is to just ask questions. The right questions help you gather more and better-quality information, build stronger connections with others, inspire trust and liking, learn, and help other people learn, too. • Closed questions (those that have very short or one-word answers) can be used to confirm your understanding, make conclusions or summaries, or set the tone and scope of a more formal or structured conversation. However, they can kill a conversation and make it feel interrogatory. • Open questions (any possible answer) allow you to probe for depth and can keep a conversation lively and open-ended. Use both in the “funnel question” technique, which probes for information down a narrowing path of increasing detail, starting broad and progressively becoming more specific. Start with open questions, then drill down for more detail as you go, eventually reversing the funnel if necessary.#FunnelQuestions #Openended #Probing #Question #Rhetorical #EffectiveListener #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #Communication'sMostUnderratedSkill

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• High-quality questions are targeted, focused on understanding and not judgment, open-ended, and tend to paraphrase and connect to what has already been said. Balance questions with your own self-revelation. Remember what people say and follow up with thoughtful questions that show that you've truly heard and processed the message.• Certain questions should always be avoided: those concerning jobs, salaries, financial costs, choices around children, relationship status, weight, diet choices, or physical appearance. #HighQualityQuestions #SelfRevelation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q. #AnatomyOfAGoodQuestion

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:08:57 How to Build Curiosity00:13:49 Assume Nothing 00:16:40 Person, Not Story 00:19:15 You Go First Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Maintain reciprocal curiosity and the mindset that you can always learn something new from others. Be fully present, open-minded, and receptive rather than approaching with bias, judgment, or distraction. Instead of trying to convince others how fascinating you are, find what is fascinating about others. Conversations are co-creations!• Genuinely connect to others by listening deeply, focusing on the person and not their story, and never making judgments or assumptions. Listen to understand, not to respond; listen primarily for emotion, not just fact. One way you can show that you're willing to really listen to people is self-disclosure.#Conflict #Conversation #Curiosity #Listen #ListenDeeply #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #ReciprocalCuriosity

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI00:02:31 How to Paint the Picture00:02:59 To get a hang of using imagery in conversation, you need to master the use of three tools: 1. Concreteness 2. Simile 3. Metaphor Concreteness is about being embedded in the world, about being real.00:08:02 Rhythm and How to Go with the Flow00:09:28 Parallelism 00:11:42 Repetition 00:12:39 Think about Winston Churchill's famous “we shall fight them on the beaches” speech00:13:58 Alliteration and Assonance00:15:33 How to Be a Masterful Storyteller • If you want your listeners to really absorb what you say to them, paint them a mental picture. Do this by using vivid and concrete imagery, similes (using like or as), and metaphors to connect abstract ideas with more real-world ones. Use adjectives and interesting details and be a little unexpected. • Language is musical by nature, and much of the meaning it conveys comes down to its rate, its articulation, its flow, and the way it moves through time. Pay attention to the rhythm and flow of your speech. • In parallelism, we repeat certain structures to create an effect. Repetition drives our point home and makes it seem more true, as do alliteration (repetition of initial consonant sounds) and assonance (repetition of internal or vowel sounds). • Human beings react not just to “information” but to narrative; to be a good storyteller, you need to go beyond sharing information and facts, and help your listeners form an emotional connection to what you're saying. Good stories enlist the use of our voice, body language, gestures, facial expressions, and even visual aids. • Make sure that your story illustrates supports or connects to your larger point or circumstance. Set the scene but don't dawdle on unnecessary detail. Start with a bang and keep things at a moderate pace, being concise. Be relevant and interesting, and if you can, practice your story ahead of time!#Alliteration #Assonance #Brevity #ChipsChannon #Concreteness #Metaphor #Parallelism #Repetition #Rhythm #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #MasteringStyleandTone

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:26 The Emotions Wheel and Learning to Label00:04:47 Different versions of the Emotion Wheel00:07:39 1. Anger00:08:46 6. Disgust 00:09:53 7. Fear 00:10:53 8. Happy 00:12:26 9. Sadness00:13:37 10. Surprise00:14:45 11. Bad00:21:36 Step 1: Put a name to the emotion (the Emotion Wheel can help).00:29:31 What Invalidation Looks LikeHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Becoming more emotionally intelligent requires understanding of what emotions are, how to read them, how to feel and label our own experiences, and how to validate them in the people around us. We need to develop empathy, social skills, self-awareness, and self-control.• There are universal basic human emotions, but they express themselves in varying degree, variety, and intensity. A tool like the Emotion Wheel can help you build emotional literacy and pinpoint precise feelings and emotions. Primary emotions include anger, fear, disgust, happiness, surprise, and just plain “bad.” If you become an expert at knowing exactly how you feel, however, you are never in the position of misunderstanding yourself and will be a more effective and coherent person as a result.• The more emotionally literate we become with our own experiences, the better we can recognize them in others. Pay attention, listen, and then (tentatively) call out the emotion you think someone is experiencing. Verbalize the emotion by putting a name to it, and without judgment or interpretation, validate their experience. Remember that you're not validating the factual content of what they're saying, but the emotional content.#EmotionalValidation #EmotionWheel #EQ #Invalidation #DanielGoleman #Validate #Validating #Validation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:54 Bestselling author and self-help guru Tim Ferriss 00:04:20 Be Very Aware of Personal Space00:06:42 Stay Present00:09:07 In a now famous 1977 interview Barbara Walters did with Dolly PartonHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• To create a reality distortion field, you will need to increase eye contact, be aware of your personal space, and stay present and open-minded in conversations. Charismatic, confident people are physically present, without being imposing or threatening, and their eye contact is natural. They do not let judgment, anxiety, or distraction undermine their presence in the moment. The key is to acknowledge people and make them feel important. • The biggest impact you make on people does not come from what you say, but from how you are.#BarbaraWalters #BeVeryAware #BillClinton #Charismatic #DollyParton #EyeContact #Ferriss #PersonalSpace #Charismatic #StayPresent #TimFerriss #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily/home/russell/Charismatic-confident-people-physically-imposing-threatening-eye-contact-natural/1-man-and-woman-near-sea-2833389-Emma-Bauso.jpg

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI#CommunicationTone #Conversational #DrKamiAnderson #HedgingLanguage #JamesGorman #Signpost #Signposting #Summarizing #Upspeak #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #EliminateCrutchWordsAndEmptyLanguage #PatrickKing #HowtoSpeakEffectively

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:24 Similarly, so called Barnum statements, named after famed showman and Hoaxbuster P t.00:05:56 Avoid Emotional Disconnectors and Word Trash00:13:47 Elizabeth Stoke is a professor of social interaction at Lowborough University00:16:13 Researchers at Amsterdam's Vu University 00:16:24 Lead researcher Camille Buickenboom 00:18:41 Jacob Hirsch and Jordan Peterson from the University of Toronto00:19:12 Social psychologist James W. Pennebaker and his colleagues00:29:14 Summary Hear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Use the principles of cold reading to create quick rapport and “read” nonverbal expressions to gain insight into their personalities. Observe, redirect their attention, collaborate with them, and gather information during back-and-forth conversation. Pay close attention to the details and make constantly updated predictions, maintaining warmth while you redirect from incorrect guesses.• Finally, avoid emotional disconnect caused by “trash words” such as “just,” “honestly,” “amazing,” “slay it,” or “should.”• Listen to how somebody speaks and uses language to gain insight into their mental models of the world. Notice the focus of their speech, their pronoun use, their positioning of subject and object, and how they explain neutral events. Always be curious about what this expression tells you about the person's perspective, beliefs, worldview, and focus.#AvoidEmotionalDisconnectors #Barnum #Beukeboom #BigFive #CamielBeukeboom #ElizabethStokoe #EllenLeanse #EQ #HowWordChoiceRevealsCharacter #JacobHirsh #JamesWPennebaker #JordanPeterson #Kufner #LinguisticInquiry #LoughboroughUniversity #Nonverbal #Openmindedness #Pennebaker #PTBarnum #Shotgunning #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI • Dr. Jack Schafer's “friendship formula” is as follows: Friendship = Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity. Friendship will develop according to the sum of all these four elements. That means that one element can be relatively weak if another compensates by being extra strong. • Building friendships is about fostering increasing closeness—i.e., proximity. Greater frequency also means a stronger chance of friendship developing. The more frequently you engage with someone, the more they feel like part of your world. Friendship takes time to build, so greater duration of time spent together means greater chance of friendship. Finally, it matters how well you're able to satisfy another person's needs during any social interaction. The more you can, the better the chance of striking up a friendship. • When making friends, deliberately find ways to increase proximity and the duration, frequency, and intensity of your interactions with people, in that order. Go slow!#ACTION #CignaLonelinessReport #CityIndexSurvey #DrJackSchafer #DrSchafer #FRIENDSHIPFORMULA #LonelinessProject #Schafer #SchafersFormula #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:10 In 1974, business professor Chris Argyris created a handy tool00:06:22 How to Use the Ladder in Your Own Life00:16:02 Consider the following speech made by Barack Obama at the 2004 Democratic National Convention00:18:23 George Lakoff is an author and professor of cognitive science and linguistics.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI • Poor communication arises as a result of a mismatch of perspectives, approach, or conversational skill. People process information differently, but to avoid misunderstandings, communicate consciously and use the “ladder of inference.” It shows the unique way that people use their experiences to make meaning: observations > selected data > meanings > assumptions > conclusions > beliefs > actions. • Conflict can occur when people are on different rungs. To improve communication, see where people are and how their ladder of inference is working for them, then speak to that, in sequence, and without blame or shame. • Good communicators deliberately create their own frames during conversations and position their line of thinking by using specially chosen words, expressions, and images. Change frames and you change meaning. • Deliberately engineer your conversational frame and invite the other person in using pre-existing concepts they're familiar with to improve the chances they'll be receptive. Remember that reality is fixed, but the meaning of reality is dynamic and subject to change. #ACTIONS #ACTIONSBELIEFSCONCLUSIONSASSUMPTIONSMEANINGSSELECTEDDATAOBSERVATIONS #Argyris #ASSUMPTIONS #BELIEFS #Birkin #ChrisArgyris #CONCLUSIONS #GeorgeLakoff #Hermes #MEANING #POOLOFOBSERVATIONS #SELECTEDDATA #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #SocialSkillsCoaching #PatrickKindConsulting #PatrickKing

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:54 Author Nick Morgan describes in his book Power Cues 00:08:34 How to Master Nonverbal Communication00:12:08 Body Language Basics00:14:37 Look for Clusters of Behavior 00:15:26 Don't Be Afraid to Trust Your Instincts00:16:16 What to Look At00:18:50 The Art of Cold Reading00:19:50 Four Important Cold Reading Principles00:21:36 Redirection00:22:32 Collaboration00:23:19 ConversationHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Be mindful of your meta-language and make sure that your verbal and nonverbal signals are aligned. Nonverbal communication can repeat, substitute, complement, or accent our verbal communication. If it doesn't, we risk sending mixed messages or lowering trust. Pay attention to messages sent using facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye contact, touch, use of space, and voice characteristics. • To build mindful awareness of your nonverbal communication, try to eliminate in-the-moment stress (by breathing, pausing, and connecting with your five senses) and cultivate emotional awareness (including the ability to tolerate and accept emotions as they are). • When reading body language, think holistically, dynamically, relatively, and in context. Don't rely on single data points, but look for clusters of behavior, inconsistencies with context, and a shift from baseline. #AuthorNickMorgan #BodyLanguageBasics #Clusters #ColdReading #Collaboration #Communication #EQ #FourImportantColdReadingPrinciples #MasterNonverbalCommunication #Morgan #Observation #Posture #Redirection #Stress #Substitution #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:03:54 Use a Journal and Be Your Own Therapist00:06:50 How to Use AffirmationsHear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• A journal is a powerful self-help tool that slows your thoughts, keeps track of your progress, and helps you uncover patterns as well as develop your values and goals. Use writing prompts to guide self-exploration without judgment.• Recurrent themes will emerge over time, and these can be inverted to create your own affirmations. These become like useful shortcuts to guide and shape your journey to healthier boundaries, better communication, and stronger self-identity.#Affirmations #Journal #Journaling #Meditate #Peoplepleasing #Relationship #SetBoundaries #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Empathy is the ability to share someone else's feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person's situation, and being able to occupy their perceptual position/perspective. In NLP's “perceptual positions” exercise, first position is your own point of view, second position is another person's, and third position concerns the view of you both from a third, neutral observer perspective. • By switching between these positions, you gain more insight, understanding, and empathy, and find solutions to problems. No position is best, but wisdom comes from being able to skillfully shift between all three. • Perspective-taking is an act of social imagination where you temporarily set aside your own frame of reference and entertain another, possibly very different one. Self-awareness and awareness of others means we can develop theory of mind and a certain mental flexibility.• Build this capacity by looking at pictures of people and trying the “step inside” activity, the “step in, step out, and step back” activity, or the “context” exercise. These will help you strengthen your ability to consider the world through other people's eyes. • One of the biggest obstacles to genuine empathy and emotional intelligence is ego—our own and others'. When dealing with people who are constantly self-referential, uninterested in things that don't benefit them, lacking in personal accountability and empathy, and have a heightened opinion of themselves, try to avoid getting into a battle of the egos. Lower expectations, stay firm in your boundaries, and maintain distance. • Watch for narcissism in yourself, too: Don't assume you're immune to self-absorption, work on your self-esteem, and consciously mix with those who don't always confirm your worldview. #DrDurvasula #DSM #Durvasula #Egotist #EgotisticalPeople #Empathy #Entitlement #EQ #Incivility #RamaniSDurvasula #Narcissism #NLP #Perspectivetaking #Ramani #StepInsideExercise #StepOutStepBackExercise #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofEQ

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:32 You'll Know That Codependency Is Part Of Your Need To People-Please If:00:05:00 Make Yourself Your New Rescue Project00:08:42 Gradually Separate Yourself.00:09:23 Become Curious Where Your Bad Feelings Come From.00:10:54 Stop Making Excuses.00:12:30 Use A Journal to discover the roots of your behavior.Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• People-pleasers can sometimes fall into codependent relationships, where one person is reliant on another, whether that's physically, emotionally, mentally, or even spiritually. These toxic dynamics can only be broken when the person is able to re-prioritize themselves as their own “rescue project” and rewrite the core belief that they are only good people if they are needed. This requires understanding the roots of behavior and refusing to make excuses anymore.#Addiction #Codependency #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #&StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:03:40 In Aristotle's time, Oration was an honored art and tradition00:04:00 Ethos00:06:26 Pathos00:12:25 Cairos 00:20:29 Workplace Communication Etiquette00:32:16 The Seven C's of Effective Workplace Communication00:38:16 SummaryHear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag• Persuasion is about trying to change or influence someone's mind, and it rests on knowing what that person's values, perspectives, and needs are so you can address them directly. • According to Aristotle, the four main modes of persuasion are ethos (appeal to authority), pathos (appeal to emotion), logos (appeal to reason), and kairos (making an argument at the right time and place). Good oration and rhetoric are not about which mode fits you or your message best, but knowing how to put your message in a form that the audience is most likely to hear.• To speak to pathos, be vulnerable or share a personal experience or even a secret. To speak to logos, use hard data and evidence or a deductive or inductive argument. To speak to ethos, share genuine and relevant credentials. In all cases, try to understand your audience's emotional state, their perspective, and their most pressing need, then present your message in terms that will appeal to them most. • Workplace communication runs on all the same communication rules, but we have to consider the bigger role that written and electronic communication plays, too. Professional communication is more about appropriateness, politeness, custom, convention, and formality. • We need to consider the goal, content, and medium to the message, as well as the audience. First, clarify the reason for communication and let that decide the most appropriate medium. Factor in your company's unique communication culture and be mindful of your tone. • Professional communication should follow the seven Cs: It should be clear, concise, correct, concrete, considerate, complete, and courteous.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Emotional intelligence is also something we do rather than something we are. Thankfully, it can be learned. • Empathic listening is total, genuine attention to the other person and the message they are trying to convey. Set aside your own ego and perspective and become genuinely curious about someone else's world, listening to understand rather than to respond. Be curious and receptive rather than reactive, “listening” to verbal and nonverbal signals. • To respond empathically, acknowledge their courage, ask questions to clarify their message, convey that you care, and check in with how they're feeling. • Offer responses that are both active and constructive, rather than passive and destructive, to create trust and connection. Remember that your response to someone's positive expressions is a bigger determinant of the relationship quality than how you treat them when they're unhappy. Show genuine interest in what you're told and match and reflect people's emotional experiences rather than invalidating it.• Practice offering support responses (which maintain the focus on the speaker) instead of shift responses (which shift the focus of the conversation back onto you) if you want to avoid conversational narcissism. Try not to continually center your own emotional experiences or interpret other people's experiences through the lens of your own. Instead, see conversation as a genuine back and forth and deliberately set aside yourself to learn more about others. #ActiveConstructive #ActiveDestructive #CharlesDerber #ConstructiveResponding #EmpathicListening #GableGonzagaStrachman #PassiveConstructive #PassiveDestructive #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:42 Pleasing others becomes a transaction or a deal 00:02:44 Mindfulness Meditation for People-Pleasers 00:06:09 1. Sit somewhere comfortably, slow your breathing, and relax. 00:06:16 2. If worries, concerns, and anxious thoughts pop up, say hello to them but set them aside. 00:06:26 3. Focus calmly on your breathing 00:06:37 4. When distracting thoughts pop up again, set them aside again and come back to your breath.00:09:02 Loving-Kindness Meditation for People-PleasersHear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• Kindness and compassion are wonderful if they are genuine. People-pleasers need to learn to develop the skill of genuine kindness rather than acting out of fear, obligation, or a sense of transaction. Mindfulness and loving-kindness practice are two ways to help rescue genuine compassion from the need to please.• Mindfulness meditation is about presence and being aware of the present moment without judgment or grasping. Go calm and quiet within, setting aside thoughts as they arrive and accepting what is without trying too hard to achieve any particular end.• Loving-kindness meditation practices generating warm, accepting, and loving attention and extending it to others as well as to yourself. Visualize kindness flowing to the people you love, then progressively to others, and finally to yourself. Compassion does not mean agreement or forgiveness, only that we can acknowledge that as human beings, we all have worth since we are part of what is.#Boundary #Compassion #Lovingkindness #LovingKindnessMeditation #Meditation #Mindfulness #MindfulnessMeditation #Peoplepleasers #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:29 The COIN Framework 00:03:59 In Carroll's book, The Feedback Imperative: How to Give Feedback to Speed Up Your Team's Success00:16:56 How to Say No 00:26:48 Technique 1: The Agreement Frame 00:37:41 Technique 2: VOMP 00:42:13 Technique 3: Nonviolent Communication00:53:53 The Six-Step ApologyHear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag• The goal during conflict is to increase positive feelings for everyone involved. One way to do this is with Carroll's COIN framework—context, observations, impact, and next (follow-up actions). Use plenty of “I” statements, pause often, and be as clear and direct as possible. When giving feedback, focus on what can be done in the future rather than what has already been done.• There are many ways to navigate communication when you disagree. The agreement frame helps the other person release their resistance to your perspective because you are able to really support their views or values first and seek common ground that puts you on the same team. • The art of saying no includes understanding the different kinds of assertions, including basic assertions (statements of facts and limits), empathic assertions (asserting needs and limits whilst acknowledging others' with kindness), consequence assertions (following through with consequences of not respecting your boundary), discrepancy assertions (drawing attention to difference between what was agreed and what is happening), and negative feeling assertions (owning your own emotions and stating them).• VOMP is another technique and stands for voice/vent, own, moccasins, and plan. Say your piece and allow the other person to say theirs, own your part in the conflict, show empathy for their perspective, and then move forward with a concrete plan on how to act in the future. • Marshall Rosenberg's nonviolent communication is about making neutral observations, expressing feelings with “I” statements, sharing needs, and making reasonable and respectful requests. • If none of these three techniques work, you can manage a difficult person by “fogging” (being as neutral and non-reactive as possible) or repeating boundaries like a “broken record” until they lose interest. • Finally, learn the six elements of a successful and genuine apology: express regret and remorse, explain yourself, accept full responsibility, repent, make an offer for reparations, and, only at the end, request forgiveness. Realize that you are not entitled to forgiveness, and accept whatever happens with grace.#AgreementFrame #AnnaCarroll #COINFramework #Communication #Lewicki #MarshallFritz #MarshallRosenberg #NVP #Ransberger #RansbergerPivot #RayRansberger #RoyLewicki #SixStepApology #VOMP #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:05:11 Step 1: Be Aware of What You Feel 00:09:47 Step 2: Normalize 00:11:52 Step 3: Tell the Truth Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• When we engage in people-pleasing, we are trying to extract validation, approval, and liking from other people. However, self-validation is the ability to provide all these things for ourselves.• We create self-validation when we acknowledge and accept how we feel without judgment, normalize that feeling, then speak the truth about it.#Boundary #Normalize #Peoplepleasing #Selfvalidation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:12 Broadly speaking, there are three types of validation: 00:01:44 1. Emotional Validation 00:03:52 2. Behavioral Validation 00:05:49 3. Cognitive Validation 00:10:02 In Listening to Conflict, author Eric Van Slyke outlines six listening levels.00:14:37 To be a good listener, try to remember H-U-R: •Hearing the Message •Understanding the message •Responding to the messageHear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag• Validation is the process of genuinely hearing, seeing, and witnessing another person's lived reality and allowing it to be what it is. It's crucial in good communication. Validation is not agreement or reinforcement but recognizing emotions for what they are. It can be emotional, behavioral, or cognitive—or all three. • Good listening is the ability to be open and receptive, to accept what we're told, but also to process and really engage with that information so that we can also return it to the speaker if appropriate.• There are six increasing levels of listening: passive, responsive, selective, attentive, active, and empathic. Remember your role as a listener with the HUR acronym: hear the message, understand it, and respond. We can respond and show our understanding by paraphrasing, reflecting, and summarizing. #Clarification #Cognitive #CommunicationSkills #Confirm #EricVanSlyke #HURHearing #Reflecting #Responsive #Validation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #CommunicationSkillsTraining

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:55 Technique 1: Playing It Cool00:07:02 Technique 2: Pulling A Columbo 00:07:29 The technique is pretty straightforward: 1. Get People Talking Freely And Carelessly 2. Slip In A Question When Their Guard Is Down 3. Show No Indication Of What's Happened 00:11:20 •Avoid Confrontation 00:11:36 •Don't Make A Big Show Of Listening. 00:11:53 •Play Dumb. 00:12:14 •If In Doubt, Ask People To Repeat Themselves.00:12:53 Technique 3: False Replay00:17:00 Technique 4: Leading Questions00:24:19 Technique 5: Be Provocative00:29:18 Technique 6: Gauge Response, Not AnswersHear it Here - https://bit.ly/ExtractInfo• To take our information extraction to the next level, we can use lighter, more relaxed versions of the interrogation techniques practiced by law enforcement.• One key approach is to lower the person's defenses by not appearing to them as a threat. This can be done by being casual and informal, or even prying when official interrogations are over. The trick is to behave as though you're not especially invested in their answer.• The Columbo technique relies on this impression of casualness so that a question can be sneakily slipped in and answered while the person's guard is down. Play dumb, ask people to repeat themselves, and maintain a degree of plausible deniability. Hide questions in comments or statements that the other person can't help but respond to—and reveal themselves.• The false replay technique aims to confuse and disorient a liar and get them to slip up or confess. You repeat back their story but make a “mistake” with a crucial detail, and watch their reaction. A liar is most likely to ignore it, while a truth teller will correct you. Liars are also most likely to grow agitated, angry, or distracted with being asked to retell their story in different ways, or being asked about it repeatedly.• Leading questions are typically closed questions that guide a person's response to where you suspect the truth lies. A question can be made with a built-in assumption, or you could lead a person with priming statements or question tags.• Being provocative is a great way to de-stabilize someone and observe their reaction—disproportionate anger, fear, or distraction indicate you've hit a nerve.• The golden rule is to gauge a person's complete response to a question, and not just their verbal answer. Use questions to trigger an emotional reaction and analyze this in context.#BeProvocative #Columbo #FalseReplay #GaugeResponse #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:05:12 Tip 1: Just Keep Quiet Really.00:05:49 Tip 2: Show Your Compassion And Kindness ... Just In A Different Way 00:07:00 Tip 3: Train A Different Automatic Response 00:08:07 Tip 4: Change Apology Into Gratitude 00:09:12 Tip 5: Speak Plainly 00:10:45 Tip 6: Reframe Your Idea Of Politeness 00:12:27 Tip 7: Imperfect Is Not Wrong 00:13:34 Tip 8: Discern What Is In Your Zone Of Control Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• People-pleasers often engage in self-sabotaging behavior: over-apologizing. This happens for many reasons, most commonly low self-esteem, the desire to please others, awkwardness and discomfort, conflict avoidance, anxiety, and perfectionism.• To overcome over-apologizing, try to practice simply staying silent or expressing concern and compassion in different ways. You could also train out the “sorry habit” by expressing what you really mean to express—for example, gratitude. Don't apologize for being imperfect, and reframe your idea of politeness so that it includes plain, honest, clear speech, which is always more truthful and assertive. Finally, don't apologize for things that are outside your control.#Apologizing #Politeness #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:56 According to Psychology Today, emotional intelligence (EI) is “the ability to identify and manage one's own emotions as well as the emotions of others."00:04:02 Cultivating Emotional Awareness00:08:01 Harnessing Those Pesky Emotions 00:13:09 Emotional Management 00:16:15 Validation As Connection 00:17:47 What Validation ISN'T Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag• There is no communication without emotions. That means that conversational intelligence is emotional intelligence. EQ is a mix of three skills: awareness of emotions, harnessing emotions, and managing emotions. • If we are emotionally aware, we are able to identify what we are feeling in a conversation as well as observe and comprehend what another person is feeling—even if it's wildly different from our own experience. We are also then in a position to harness those emotions and to proactively and consciously choose a response.• Slow down or pause, reflect what you're being told, and see if you can put the newly identified and named emotion to good use. • Managing emotions means being conscious and deliberate: We can accept and acknowledge how we feel but still make conscious choices about our behavior according to our chosen goals. #CommunicationSkills #CultivatingEmotionalAwareness #DanielGoleman #EI #EQ #IQ #JohnDMayer #PeterSalovey #PsychologyToday #Validation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #CommunicationSkillsTraining

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:07:45 Technique One Shotgun Statements00:09:09 Technique Two Barnum Statements00:11:45 Technique Three ignoring the misses00:14:38 Technique Four passing off failures as successes00:17:11 Technique Five Keeping It VagueHear it Here - https://bit.ly/ExtractInfo• We can improve our information extraction skills by following some of the techniques used by fake psychics when they do “cold reading.”• General principles for cold reading include being subtle, open-ended, and allowing the other person to guide you—without them realizing that you are not doing anything magical but merely working with the information that they provide.• Shotgun statements are random statements made in order to see what response you get so you can follow it up on what sticks.• Barnum statements are those that are likely to be perceived as relevant to individuals, even though they apply to almost everyone. Barnum statements are broad guesses that look specific but actually have a high probability of being on the mark.• When using shotgun or Barnum statements, a cold reader can also ignore their misses and focus on their hits, concealing the fact that they are guessing.• Another way to mask misses is to pass them off as successes retroactively, or rework your claim to make it seem as though you were right all along.• Cold readers deliberately keep things vague to start with, and then fine tune their approach according to the feedback they receive. They begin with a non-committal, low-stakes guess and then, by degree, inch closer to the truth using their audience's response or lack of it.• A key principle in cold reading is to pay attention to reactions of all kinds, including nonverbal ones.• Expert cold reading combines all of these techniques seamlessly and swiftly to give the impression that the “psychic” has plucked accurate information from the air, when in reality, it has been fed to him unwittingly by the audience all along!#ShotgunStatements #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo #ColdReading #BarnumStatements #/home/russell/temp/KingEpi-2023-05-23-06-54-yZQ96NEHwQ/psychic-mystic-clairvoyant/1-woman-in-gray-and-black-striped-long-sleeve-shirt-sitting-beside-black-table-7267741-Pavel-Danilyuk.jpg

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:08:38 Psychologist Craig Malkin's book Rethinking Narcissism00:10:59 The Soft Startup 00:13:19 The Empathic Communication Toolkit for Handling Conflict 00:20:47 Use techniques like the Positive no or the Soft Startup https://adbl.co/3shIydQ• To be both assertive and empathic, use techniques like the “positive no” or the “soft startup” when setting a boundary. • When managing conflicts or difficult communication, remember to use open-ended questions; focus on strengths; let the other person lead; normalize rather than pathologize; and use open, conciliatory body language to show that you are on the same side. #Communicating #Communication #Conciliatory #ConversationalTools #CraigMalkins #DifficultConversation #EmpathicAssertion #EmpathicCommunicationToolkit #EmpathicStruggle #Empathy #ExpressEmpathy #Gottman #JulieGottman #Narcissism #NonviolentCommunication #SimpleEmpathicAssertion #UncomfortableConversation #UnconsciousMessage #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:34 Talk WITH people and not TO them.00:03:07 Dr. Karl Albrecht in Psychology Today00:15:53 Sustain Conversations with Conversational Threading and Useful Acronyms 00:22:50 Useful Conversational Acronyms The acronym HPM 00:25:17 Another useful acronym is EDRHear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag• Having charm and charisma is not about you. It's about the other person and making them feel heard, liked, and supported.• Dr. Albrecht explains that conversations contain three elements: declaratives, questions, and qualifiers. The rule of three tells us that we should not have three declarative statements in a row and should instead mix it up with a question or a qualifier. • It's not really about the content of what you say but the emotional implications and the energy in how you say it. • Conversational threading is a technique that will help you ensure you never run out of things to say. Listen to what the other person says, pick out a few noteworthy threads, then run with one of them. When the conversation dries up, return to these threads and pick up another one and follow that instead. Be patient, ask open-ended questions, and listen for emotions. • Being a good everyday conversationalist is about being open-minded, spontaneous, and genuine. Keep things flowing! #Albrecht #CasualConversation #Communication #ConversationalAcronyms #ConversationalNarcissist #ConversationalThreading #DeclarativeStatements #DepthTechniques #DrKarlAlbrecht #EDR #EmotionDetailRestatement #EverydayConversations #HPM #RhetoricalQuestions #SkilledConversationalists #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://bit.ly/ExtractInfo00:01:16 From Patrick King's book how to Extract Info, Secrets and Truth, let's take a look at the importance of eye contact and then spend some time discussing active listening.00:03:34 Effects of Eye Contact and Social Status on the Perception of a Job Applicant in an Employment Interviewing Situation00:03:56 Accurate Intelligence Assessments in Social Interactions, Mediators and Gender Effects00:05:34 A 2016 Japanese study by Kajimura and Nomura titled When We Cannot Speak eye Contact Disrupts Resources Available to Cognitive Control Processes During Verb Generation00:06:22 Helping Children Think Gaze Aversion and Teaching by Phelps and Doherty Snedden, researchers found that kids told to look away while thinking and solving problems showed a 20% increase in performance.00:07:51 Eye Contact, Distance and Affiliation00:22:41 Label Emotions • Eye contact is essential for building trust. If you aren't able to use eye contact, people will find you untrustworthy. The optimal eye contact period is around three seconds of eye contact at a time, with sufficient rest between gazes.• Active listening is a valuable skill set that any person should master, but the techniques of active listening can also help you improve your elicitation abilities and gather more information about people. You need to comprehend, retain and respond to the information people are sharing with you.• You can build rapport and connection in many ways, for example by restating, reflecting, summarizing, labeling emotions, probing (gently!) and using silence to encourage the other person to open up. Open-ended or leading questions (like those covered in the previous chapter) can subtly guide a person to open up to you.• Avoid giving advice, lecturing, sermonizing or judging.• Active listening techniques are best used when you would like someone to open up with you and share their true feelings. Other techniques are more appropriate for detecting deception.#ActiveListener #Binetti #CommunicationSkills #DohertySneddon #EmpatheticReflection #EyeContact #GazeAversion #GazeDuration #Kajimura #Kressler #LieDetection #NeuroLinguisticProgramming #Nomura #NonverbalCommunication #PupilDilation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo #Secrets #andTruth

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homehttps://adbl.co/3shIydQ00:01:33 What to Say, What Not to Say 00:03:34 Avoid Diminishing 00:05:00 Avoid Dismissing 00:06:14 Avoid Leading Questions 00:07:11 Avoid Advice or Personal Anecdotes 00:09:31 Acknowledge Their Courage 00:09:56 Ask Empathic Questions 00:10:48 Compliment Their Character 00:11:55 Show You Care 00:12:34 An Empathic Statement Formula 00:18:18 Nonviolent Communication/NVC 00:20:48 To use NVC, we must always remember to: 00:23:40 Feelings 00:26:19 Needs00:29:49 Requests 00:34:15 When the Shoe Is on the Other Foot 00:38:43 Let's take a moment to summarize • In empathic communication, we should always seek to understand first and to create connection. Empathic statements can help, but avoid deflecting, diminishing, dismissing, dominating the conversation with leading questions, or giving advice or personal anecdotes. Instead, ask empathic questions, compliment something in their character, or do something practical to show you care. • The nonviolent communication model consists of four components: observations, feelings, needs, and requests. First, become aware of the objective facts of the situation and separate them out from interpretations, assumptions, and judgments about those facts. Next, share what you are feeling, remembering that feelings are connected to our needs, met or unmet. • Then, express these needs without blaming and without confusing needs with strategies used to meet those needs. Finally, finish with a request for that need to be met. Avoid requests that are vague, impossible to fulfil, framed as what you don't want, or framed as a demand that can't be refused. A request does not entitle us to receive what we ask for, so we should graciously accept if it isn't granted. #DrMarshallRosenberg #Empathic #EmpathicConversation #EmpathicStatements #NonjudgmentalPerspective #NonviolentCommunication #NVC #Rosenberg #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TrainYourEmpathyPhoto by sumit-kapoor and Pexels