Toxic

We're honored to welcome Nichole Schmidt to Toxic today — a friend of the pod and a fierce advocate for survivors, especially young survivors of dating violence. In 2021, her 22-year-old daughter, Gabby Petito, was murdered by her boyfriend, Brian Laundrie, during what was supposed to be an idyllic cross-country van trip — and instead became a national tragedy. This past February, Netflix released American Murder: Gabby Petito, a docuseries featuring never-before-seen details about how Gabby's story unfolded. Ultimately, she became yet another preventable victim of dating violence, strangulation — and, yes, femicide. Just two weeks before her death, police in Moab, Utah, pulled the couple over after a witness saw Brian hit Gabby. Despite clear signs of abuse — and officers even identifying it as assault — Laundrie wasn't arrested. Instead, they named Gabby the primary aggressor and gave Brian a hotel room usually reserved for domestic violence victims. The incident laid bare just how much law enforcement — and society — still doesn't understand about abuser tactics. A little over a month later, Brian strangled Gabby to death in Wyoming. He later scribbled a confession in a notebook before dying by suicide — because, of course, accountability was never on his itinerary. Today, Nichole shares what life has been like since Gabby's death — and how she's working to keep her daughter's memory alive, one survivor at a time. We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at ToxicThePodcast.com and share your story. If you're experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through DomesticShelters.org. Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with someone also outraged by the relentless epidemic of violence against women. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and please consider leaving us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories. Together, we can create change.

Is it hot in here or is it just us? If you're in the throes of perimenopause, you're going to feel right at home in this episode. As ladies of our mid-40s, we have to talk about this. Disclaimer: This is NOT a medical advice podcast.  Thanks to overt sexism within medical research fields, most health research funds are allotted to study diseases that affect men, or how diseases that affect both sexes mostly affect men.  The National Institutes of Health found that diseases, ailments and conditions that affect men receive twice as much funding as those affecting women. Therefore, it would be correct to say scientists are spending much more time and resources studying erectile dysfunction than perimenopause or menopause, leaving women woefully unprepared and under-resourced for this major life change.  How do we deal with that? Well, we're resourceful as always, aren't we ladies? We turn to crowd-sourcing solutions like TikTok and Facebook groups and happy hours. Which means we wind up with a slew of solutions like yam cream, red light therapy, eating more kiwis and drinking mushroom coffee. Will any of it help? Who knows! We'll try it anyhow because dammit, we want to look like we're aging gracefully while also biohacking our faces.  We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at ToxicThePodcast.com and share your story. (We also have some sweet merch!) If you're experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through DomesticShelters.org. Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend (or maybe a frenemy?), your eyebrow waxer, your petsitter or really, anyone you want. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media and please consider leaving us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories. Together, we can create change.

In the '70s, a charismatic minister named Jim Jones convinced thousands of followers of his Peoples Temple that he was for them, moving them from the U.S. where he was being investigated for running a cult (lol, nothing to see here) to an agricultural commune in Guyana under the auspice that he was "creating a paradise free from the oppression of the U.S. government." Oh, and also, they had to call him dad, maybe sleep with him and never, ever leave unless they wanted to be shot.  But that's neither here nor there. He was FOR them, you guys. Of course, if you know anything about Jonestown, you know this didn't end well for 909 of them.  You'll never believe this, but the markers of Jim Jones—a guy who loved Hitler, schmoozing with politicians and exerting power over others—have a lot of overlap with our current RPOTUS (that would be rapist president of the United States).  In this episode, we welcome back—Dr. Janja Lalich, CEO of the Lalich Center on Cults and Coercion and foremost international expert on cults to answer our is-half-the-country-in-a-cult? questions.  She also recommended a book that we're going to recommend to you: The Brainwashing of My Dad: How the Rise of the Right-Wing Media Changed a Father and Divided Our Nation—And How We Can Fight Back, by Jen Senko. We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at ToxicThePodcast.com and share your story. If you're experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through DomesticShelters.org. Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your gyno, or even the person next to you in line voting for Wisconsin Supreme Court candidate Susan Crawford. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and if you're willing, leave us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories. Together, we can create change.

In another disturbing case of women's safety being not at all a priority, a man in Minneapolis turned images of some 80 women he sort-of-but-not-really-knew into graphic p*rn. When his WIFE found out, he fled town with his laptop in hand, probably to infiltrate a new town with his predator ways. Police threw their hands up and said, "Uh, we don't know what you want us to do. Is this illegal?" Turns out, it is and it isn't. One of the victims talks to Toxic about how she's using her law background to help make sure future women get the justice they deserve against gross men who can't literally make everything in the world about getting off.  We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at ToxicThePodcast.com and share your story. If you're experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through DomesticShelters.org. Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your Lyft driver, or even the person next to you in line at your next protest for women's rights. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and please leave us a [nice] review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories. Together, we can create change.

Abusers know the routine: First, present yourself as a savior. Promise a romanticized, idyllic version of the future. Earn trust. Then, isolate. “It's the world against us, baby.” Brainwash. “Don't trust anyone but me.” And finally, control at such a dizzying speed that the victim can't make heads or tails of it all. What is real? Am I in danger? How do I get out of this? Hey, look at that, it's Trump, America's abusive husband. In just under 30 days since he and his BFF Elon Musk invaded the White House, we're in full oligarchy mode. This is not a drill. Call it a coup, call it a dictatorship or just call it the most embarrassing time of U.S. history unfolding before our eyes. Today we're talking about Trump's dizzying array of executive orders, declarations, hirings and firings, which are all just a distraction technique. An appetizer round if you will. We need to discuss why it's important we don't give up, put our heads in the sand and shut down our ear holes. Because that's what he's hoping will happen. We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at ToxicThePodcast.com and share your story. If you're experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through DomesticShelters.org. Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dog sitter, or the anxious person next to you in the TSA line. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and if you're willing, leave us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories. Together, we can create change.

Patrisha McLean survived nearly three decades of abuse by her [unfortunately still] famous ex, Don McLean, singer of "American Pie." Once free, though Don tried his best to discredit her in the media (sound familiar?), she started her own nonprofit to help other survivors of violence, aptly named, Finding Our Voices. It's been working on taking down abusive a-holes ever since, and we love her for it. She joins us today on Toxic to tell us more about it.  (Apologies in advance for the sound issues in this episode. Amanda was having issues with her microphone.) We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at ToxicThePodcast.com and share your story. If you're experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through DomesticShelters.org. Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, or even the person next to you in line at the grocery store. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and if you're willing, leave us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories. Together, we can create change.

Trump "Tiny Hands" was sworn into the highest office in the land yesterday, leaving us all asking, "But seriously, no really, honestly, what in the actual eff?" As we enter this second iteration of a reoccurring nightmare that's actually reality, many of you may be stuck in fight, flight or freeze like us. (We're cycling between all three.) The question is: Where do we go from here? How do we get through these next four years? Are we ready to fight, and if so, how can we do it without burning ourselves out? Consider this a family meeting, group therapy or a support group meeting. Take what you need. Just know that we're in this together.  We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Do you have an idea of how to fight against an oligrachy? Visit us at ToxicThePodcast.com and share your thoughts. If you're experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through DomesticShelters.org. You can find abortion resources at abortionfunds.org.  Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, or even the person next to you in line at the grocery store. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and if you're willing, leave us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories. Together, we can create change.

We've likely all heard the kurfuffle surrounding Blake Lively—how did she seemingly become one of Hollywood's most high-maintenance and hard-to-work-with actresses overnight? It turns out that the emperor doesn't actually have any clothes. We've been bamboozled by a well-orchestrated smear campaign thanks to Johnny Depp's understudy in destroying women—Justin "I don't always ask for consent" Baldoni. Once the picture of feminist allyship, along with his Man Enough podcast cohost Jamey "I'll show you videos of my naked wife giving birth without her knowledge" Heath, these two bros made sure Blake was both uncomfortable and mostly naked as much as possible during the filming of "It Ends With Us," then made sure no one would believe her when she disclosed that. Ah, men. We're 14 days into January and already so many of you are being d*cks. 

In one of our favorite episodes of the year, we're deviating from our typical rhetoric and recapping a Christmas movie instead. A banger, if you will. In "Hot Frosty" the vet from Schitt's Creek is a snowman who comes alive (naked) after being wrapped in an ugly red scarf given to him by Gretchen Weiner of "Mean Girls" fame. Darryl from The Office is too big of a name to be in this but is anyway. The entire movie focuses on the single lady who shouldn't be single because everyone needs a man, even if he's a snowman. That's where the bar is now. Please enjoy and we'll see you in 2025 with more stories of men behaving badly. Real men, not snowmen.  We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at ToxicThePodcast.com and share your story. If you're experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through DomesticShelters.org. Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, or even the person next to you in line at the grocery store. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and if you're willing, leave us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories. Together, we can create change.

Many survivors of domestic violence don't realize they're being abused until years have passed. They convince themselves it's something else—a bad day at work, a short temper, too much to drink or deep-seated childhood wounds that therapy might heal. They hold onto hope that things will change. But then, a pattern emerges—unrelenting, undeniable. Promises are broken, help doesn't stick and sobriety doesn't bring peace. Joan was one of those survivors. For nearly a decade, she rationalized her husband Michael's behavior. It wasn't until the night he came after their family with a knife that Joan knew she had to escape. She got out, saving herself and her two children, but what came next was just as harrowing: a court system that refused to protect her. Instead, it turned the blame on her. This episode highlights Joan's story and introduces the Family Violence Appellate Project, a nonprofit that helps survivors appeal unjust court decisions in California and Washington. We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at ToxicThePodcast.com and share your story. If you're experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through DomesticShelters.org. Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, or even the person next to you in line at the grocery store. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and if you're willing, leave us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories. Together, we can create change.

Deep breath. It's been a week. We come to you downtrodden and unshowered to commiserate in our feelings, all of which are valid. No dissection of Kamala's campaign, no grand plans for the future today — just acknowledgment that things are shitty but [hopefully] won't be forever because guess what? Women are strong as hell. We're sorry that not enough white women knew the assignment. Black women, thank you once again for showing up. We have so much work to do to address racism, internalized misogyny and ignorance in our culture. We thought we were making some progress but LOLOLOL.  Sigh. We'll make it, ladies. When DT speaks of the enemy within, let's raise our hands and say, "Present."

With the election TOMORROW (have you voted or made a plan to vote?) we had to discuss .... what is it about women having power that makes certain individuals (read: mostly men) so peeved?  The idea of a woman in power intimidates and angers a certain group of people, by and large men, because it challenges cultural gender role norms. It disrupts the domestic power imbalance so carefully put in place by many organized religions. And it means that if women can do everything men can do [better], what's next? Will men start to be treated the same way they've treated us for centuries....? Gasp! Not that! Let's talk a little history, a little misogyny and a little hot dish.  Remember, YOUR VOTE MATTERS. Now more than ever. Get yer ass to the polls tomorrow and fill in those little ovals you patriotic people!   As we approach our 100th episode of Toxic, we have a special favor to ask of you. If you enjoy the podcast, will you please take two minutes and rate and review us on whatever platform you're on? Did you know there are over 4.19 million podcasts in the world? You have more than a few to choose from. Which is why standing out as a little podcast like ours is rough. We believe we have important issues to discuss and women to fight for, so please help us by doing this one simple thing to elevate Toxic just a tad.  Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  As always, if you are experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please consider disclosing to someone you trust. You can also reach out to a trained domestic violence advocate—find one near you at DomesticShelters.org.  

In family courts around the country, judges are punishing protective parents who think it's not a swell idea for their abusive exes to have unfettered and unsupervised access to their children after a divorce. What sense does it make that the survivor parent gets to be free while the children do not?  Protective parents, like Rachel Pickrel-Hawkins out of Colorado, are threatened, silenced and even jailed if they protest or dare to speak out publically about this injustice. Rachel, now out of jail and with her kids safe-ish, wants to tell us what happened in her own words and we're only too happy to give her the microphone. Remember that while Rachel's case received national attention, so many other survivors' stories never do.  Apologies for the audio snafu around the 50-minute mark. It was mistakenly left in, so alas, it stays. #reallife Do you want to tell your story on Toxic? Or, do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  As always, if you are experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please consider disclosing to someone you trust. You can also reach out to a trained domestic violence advocate—find one near you at DomesticShelters.org. Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your equally angry friend, a random stranger in line to vote, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a [positive] review. We appreciate you. 

Make it make sense. Known pedophile, child porn distributor and trafficker Randy Volar is arrested by police in Kenosha, Wisc., in 2018. Hundreds of abuse videos of underage Black girls are found in his possession. He is released the same day without bond. Two months later, one of his victims, Chrystul Kizer, kills him. She's 17 and has been trafficked since she was 16. Last month, a Wisconsin judge sentenced her to 11 years behind bars. Her story is one of failures on all levels by society, adults and a system that did nothing to protect her.  After we tell Chrystul's story, we welcome on Kelly Diane Galloway, president and founding director of Project Mona's House, the only restorative shelter for survivors of human trafficking in the U.S. located in Buffalo, NY. This amazing woman has so much insight into helping us understand what what wrong here and why society is misunderstanding the nuances of trafficking. Because Chrystul is not alone — Cyntoia Brown, Pieper Lewis, Maryanne Atkins and just a few of the victims who chose to protect themselves from horrible men and were punished as a result.  As we mention in the episode, if you want to send your support to Chrystul, she's serving time at the Taycheedah Correctional Institution. You can send her letters to the address below, or visit penmateapp, which offers a few other options for sending mail to an inmate, like directly from your phone, for a small fee. Chrystul Kizer, DOC #00675639Taycheedah Correctional Institution PO BOX 189 Phoenix, MD 21131 If you are experiencing human trafficking, reach out to the National Human Trafficking Hotline, 888-373-7888 or visit HumanTraffickingHotline.org for more options. If you are the victim of abuse or domestic violence, please consider disclosing to someone you trust. You can also reach out to a trained domestic violence advocate—find one near you at DomesticShelters.org. It would help SO MUCH if you could spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your hair stylist, a random stranger in line at the DMV, etc.; by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media; or by leaving us a [positive] review. We appreciate you.  Do you have a story you think we need to discuss, or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it. 

This week's episode is not depressing! *Golf claps* Jenna and Amanda welcome psychologist and author Bonnie Zucker who wrote Take Control of OCD: A Kid's Guide to Conquering Anxiety and Managing OCD and Parenting Kids With OCD, among others, to talk about obsessive-compulsive disorder and how it particularly affects young people. While all genders are susceptible to this mental health obstacle, girls are more likely to be diagnosed earlier and at a higher risk overall. To what degree do our cultural norms play a part in perpetuating OCD symptoms? And what can you do if you or someone you know is struggling with compulsions? We've got answers. Well, Bonnie does. We're not psychologists. This is an episode you might want to actually listen to with your kids.  Before we bring on our guest, Amanda gives a quick update to last week's episode on Rachel Pickrel-Hawkins, the protective mom and survivor who was sentenced to jail for trying to keep her kids safe from her abusive ex. Spoiler alert: The judge has realized the error of his ways..... for now.  Remember, there are only 48 days until the election. It's time to put a woman in charge. Everyone 18 and over, make sure you're registered to vote at vote.gov. Your vote MATTERS. And if you need some sweet Kamala merch, visit ToxicthePodcast.com/merch. A hundred percent of our proceeds goes right back to Kamala for Prezzy.  As always, if you are experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please consider disclosing it to someone you trust. You can also reach out to a trained domestic violence advocate—find one near you at DomesticShelters.org. Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, MAGA family member, your gyno, the guy in front of you at the polls, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you. 

Ah, what fresh hell befell us this week? It was hard to pick just one thing to be angry about. There was the Georgia school shooting on Wednesday, making it the 45th school shooting of 2024. At Apalachee High School, a gunman who wasn't a drag queen took the lives of four people, injured nine others and traumatized indefinitely countless others. If only we could find a pattern to this madness that would help us stop it.... Around the 20-minute mark (if you want to skip ahead, it's OK), Jenna and Amanda discuss an enraging case out of Fort Collins, Colorado. A mom named Rachel Pickrel-Hawkins was found in contempt of court and sentenced to seven consecutive weekends in jail for not complying with court-ordered reunification therapy between her abusive ex-husband and her two youngest sons. This comes amidst a criminal investigation into her husband, a former cop, who has been accused of sexually molesting his daughters. The audacity of the court system, the judge and the therapist who's complicit in this is mind-boggling.  Advocates and lawmakers are rallying around Rachel calling for justice, and we're joining in that that protest. You can help by not only getting pissed, too, but by amplifying Rachel's story and sharing it with others. Speaking out about injustices en masse is what keeps people like this cop from feeling untouchable.  Links: The letter to Colorado Supreme Court Justice Monica Màrquez mentioned in today's episode. Rachel's GoFundMe for legal costs (hope she sues everyone when this is over). The DomesticShelters.org piece on the BS that is "parental alienation syndrome."  Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  As always, if you are experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please consider disclosing to someone you trust. You can also reach out to a trained domestic violence advocate—find one near you at DomesticShelters.org. Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a positive review. We appreciate you. 

Strangulation, often misnamed "choking" (that's when something's stuck in your throat, not when someone's pressing on it), is trending in the sex lives of college-age kids, and that's a problem. Apparently, the thought is that if it's consensual, it's safe. Tell that to your brain cells that really need blood and oxygen at all times.  Dr. Debby Herbenick is a Provost Professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health and director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion who's been studying sexual health and changing sexual behavior trends for the past two decades. She's also the author of Yes, Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today's Teens and Sex and she has a lot to share on this topic. We need to talk about why young people are consenting to this and why some of them aren't—but think they need to just go along with it because it's become so normalized. And we need to talk about the risks. There is no safe way to strangle someone. Strangulation is the number one lethality indicator when abuse is present, and it's a pretty thin line between doing it for funsies and doing it for power and control.  You can read more in Amanda's story with Dr. Herbenick on DomesticShelters.org: "Being Choked During Sex Is Rising in Popularity Among Young People." And for more on talking to to your teen about sex, revisit Episode 13: Having the Sex Talk with Teens Featuring Shafia Zaloom.  Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  As always, if you are experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please consider disclosing to someone you trust. You can also reach out to a trained domestic violence advocate—find one near you at DomesticShelters.org. We would so appreciate it if you could help us spread this conversation further by leaving us a review so the algorithm will suggest us to more people. We'd also love it if you could share your favorite episode with a friend, coworker, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc. Thank you, friend. 

What a world we live in: Our first female President on the brink. MAGA people sporting MyPillows on their ears. Hannibal Lecter being exalted at the RNC for no logical reason whatsoever. Undoubtedly everyone heard President Biden's announcement yesterday that he will not seek reelection, a heroic move putting country before ego. Five seconds later, he endorsed VP Kamala Harris as the democratic party's nominee, and all of us with logic in our heads said, "Yes, please, can we finally let women run things up in here?"  But we've been cocky before thinking this country hated Trump more than women and we lost HRC, so it's no time to rest on our laurels. If we don't vote for anyone other than Trump, we're facing an imminent autocracy head-on. Project 2025's “Mandate for Leadership” is a political manifesto conceived by the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank that's been influncing presidents since 1973. Should Trump be elected, he will likely use this manifesto as a roadmap to completely dismantle the American system of democracy as we know it. We wish that was hyperbole but it's not.  We know it's hard to hear all of this, but it's more important now than ever before to be aware of what's going on and share what you know. Knowledge is power, which is exactly why Project 2025 proposes we make the country dumber, one choice at a time.  Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your MAGA coworker, a random stranger at the coffee shop, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you.  Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it. Here, you can also find our merch, such as our "Stop Killing Women" and "I'd Choose the Bear" tees and hoodies.  As always, if you are experiencing domestic violence or abuse, please consider disclosing to someone you trust. You can also reach out to a trained domestic violence advocate—find one near you at DomesticShelters.org.  

For the love of all things holy, can we just start believing women? I guess not. That's why we're going to keep doing this podcast.  Jazzy reached out to Toxic to tell her story after escaping an abusive partner, with whom she had a child. His abuse ramped up while she was pregnant—an unfortuantely common trait among a-hole abusers who may or not feel like a pregnancy takes attention away from THEM and that's just not going to stand.  But Jazzy is smart and she recorded his tirades, his threats and even him admitting to putting his hands around her neck. She took this evidence to a court of law which promptly found the abuser not guilty, claiming there was no way they could tell if she had fabricated this recording. Because yes, that's what us women do with our time. It's not like there's a shortage of abusive men—we certainly do not have to lie and pretend they exist. But, it is any easy way for an abuser to shift the blame. Listen to Jazzy's story in her own words and then consider checking out her podcast on finding financial independence called First Hustle Then Brunch (which Amanda was honored to make a guest appeareance on last October for Domestic Violence Awareness Month. You can listen to that episode here.) If you suspect you're in danger at home and a partner is escalating their violence, please consider utilizing one of these Danger Assessment Tools.  Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  As always, if you are experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please consider disclosing to someone you trust. You can also reach out to a trained domestic violence advocate—find one near you at DomesticShelters.org. Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your petsitter, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you. 

On April 27, 30-year-old Mica Miller from Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, was found dead at Lumbar River State Park in North Carolina from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to her temple. Leading up to her death, her pastor husband John-Paul Miller told his congregation that his wife was battling mental health problems, that she had been hospitalized, that she had left him and that she had stolen his money. It was a bizarre combination of asking for empathy for her and sympathy for him. But not everyone was on #teampoorhusband because just weeks before her suicide, Mica had posted a video about abuse within a relationship. And friends say she was trying to escape her husband. Her tires had been slashed twice by an unknown assailant. There was a tracker on her car.  As more details emerge on this still-active investigation, there are so many questions to be answered. But here's one truth we know: men in positions of power, like those behind a pulpit, will use any excuse, especially religion, to justify their entitlement to control women. Jenna and Amanda talk spiritual abuse, toxic triangulation and more in this episode.  Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you. 

The Arizona Supreme Court, in all its supreme wisdom, recently ruled that a Civil War-era law from 1864, which amounts to a total ban on abortion, could be enforced. Because why not return to the time before women were ever in government, before we could vote or open bank accounts, when "wife beating" was still legal and when the average birth rate was 7.04 children per woman? THAT SOUNDS AWESOME. The ladies discuss what in the fadoodles is going on in Amanda's state.  Then, as promised in our last episode, we're circling back with actual info on this 4B Movement in South Korea. What is it and why should we hold off on applauding it (spoiler: It's TERF-y)? Plus, is eschewing men the best way to get things to change or do we need them on our side? There are arguments to be made for both sides.  Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a [positive] review. We appreciate you!   

It's time for Amanda and Jenna to break down Diddy's misdeeds. For the past 30 years, we've heard the rumblings but now, thanks to some brave survivors speaking out, it's all coming to light. Like so many rich and powerful men before (and after) him, Diddy has used his billionaire fortune and his I-can-make-things-happen-for-you power to control, intimidate, assault, harass and abuse women (and men) and then pay off anyone who might speak out about it. We're talking grooming, rape, sexual coercion, trafficking, drugs, weapons, a car bomb ... Diddy's been busy and it's time he face the music, no pun intended. Or maybe there is a pun there. Either way, he's gross. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you.   

Family court can be an effed up place. Instead of protecting kids and listening to women, it's unfortunately mostly run by men who side with men and listen to men about men things. As such, if an abusive parent has enough money, they can not only buy custody of their kids, they can also buy the right to torture the other parent. Enter a for-profit scam called parental reunification camps. Run by unqualified and unlicensed individuals, they convince family courts to let them have custody of children in the midst of abuse, traffick them out of state away from their protective parent and then force them to "reunify" with their abusive parent through a series of weird, brainwashing type activities. And it's legal!  Ally was sent to one such camp at 16, along with her 14-year-old sister, after they reported that they didn't feel safe with their abusive father. As anyone with teens knows, you can hardly convince them to wear a jacket on a 20-below day in winter. What makes adults think they can convince them to disbelieve their own reality of being abused? Jokes on these abuse enablers though—as these young survivors age out of their gag orders, many are choosing to speak out—and they have a LOT to say.  Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your hairdresser, the pizza delivery guy, a fellow parent in the pick-up line at school, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. It greatly helps us in spreading the word that these issues are ongoing. We appreciate you. 

When masculinity is narrowly defined as lumberjacking and giant biceps, men who don't fit this stereotype are left feeling like they need to prove their manliness in other ways—sometimes harmful and violent ways. A narrow and outdated definition of masculinity harms all people and all gender identities and continues to put women in danger. Luckily, there are groups out there like MCSR, formerly known as Men Can Stop Rape, an international nonprofit working to mobilize men to use their strength for creating cultures free from violence, especially men's violence against women. Through their MOST (Men of Strength) Clubs, they're giving young men and boys a safe space to examine what masculinity looks like outside of harmful stereotypes and giving men tools to push back against their peers who still think the cavemen tactic of clubbing women in order to win them over is a foolproof plan.  Our special guest today is Josh Bailey, Community Education Manager for MCSR's Community Education Department. Yes, we're giving a man a microphone but we promise it pays off.  Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with someone in your life who's as smart and fired up as you, by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review below. We appreciate you!   

In yet another chapter of the popular tome, It's All Her Fault: Why Women Can Never Do Anything Right Including Simply Breathing, we discuss why women who manage to be talented and successful are then torn down for being talented and successful until they're not talented or successful any longer at which point they'll be criticized for not trying hard enough.  In this case, it's Taylor Swift's turn. In case you missed the absurd headlines of late, right-wing conspiracy theorists, MAGA folk, Qanon and Fox News have decided to band together and push this idea that T. Swift has been implanted into the obviously highly influential world of the National Football League via the government, along with her tight end (giggle) boyfriend Travis Kelce, in order to then get a larger platform than she already had before to convince the whole of the United States of America to vote for President Joe Biden in the upcoming election. Whether or not you're a Swiftie, this trend of tearing successful women down (by both men and other women, sadly) is one we need to end. It's giving middle school bullies. It's giving petty. And it's also mirroring abuse in a lot of ways. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it. (You can also find merch!) Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend at this Sunday's Super Bowl party, or maybe just a random stranger in line at the grocery store while you're buying ingredients for guacamole. We would also so appreciate a rating or review so that this pod may reach more people to start even more conversations about ending violence against women. Thank you and we appreciate you.     

Can you believe it's been three years of Toxic? And wouldn't you know it, we haven't run out of toxic topics to discuss yet. Go, society! Thank you for sticking with us through the hard conversations. To celebrate, we were given the best present: our first award. We recently found out that we won the Social Change Maker Award from She Podcasts' first-ever Sonic Bloom Awards and we're a little proud of that. OK, a lot proud. To effect social change through these conversations is our number one goal. These stories aren't always easy to hear, but we believe anger fuels action. You have to get angry about some of this in such a way that makes you want to do something…anything…to help. And for us, that begins with talking and morphs into education, awareness, marching, voting, and reaching all of you.  Today's episode is all about grooming. But not your armpit hair and not your goldendoodle. Grooming of victims by abusers. The most at-risk group for this are women between 18 and 24, but groomers can target teens who are often even more vulnerable. We welcome Eileen Martin, mental health therapist and survivor, to talk about her own experience of being groomed at 17. Parents and anyone who exists around teens will definitely want to listen for what the red flags are that could indicate a young person is being groomed.  Before we talk grooming, Jenna and Amanda also HAVE to give a shout-out to their hero, excuse me, shero, of the f'ing week: E. Jean Carroll. A jury out of Manhattan just awarded her $83.3 million from former president and accused rapist Donald Trump after he verbally harassed and degraded her for years following her 2019 disclosure that he assaulted her in a dressing room. She says she can't wait to spend the settlement on something he hates, like helping other survivors of sexual assault.  Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you.   

Welcome to 2024 where a good number of men are still audacious beyond belief and women are still saying "WTF just let me live, dammit" every five seconds. Among them, many of the daughters who grew up Duggar, as in TLC's most viewed show ever, 19 Kids and Counting Duggar. Jill released a memoir at the end of 2023, Counting the Cost, that called out everyone who was complacent in her repressed, abusive and highly controlled religious upbringing, and we are here for it. We talk Jim Bob, IBLP (Institute of Basic Life Principals) and the "Shiny, Happy People" documentary. It's a lot to unpack, but stay with us because at the end we close out the episode with special guest Dr. Janja Lalich, an international authority on cults, extremism, and coercion. She offers some much-needed insight into how cults operate and advice on how to know if that new self-help support group you just joined online is actually a cult. (Heads up, MLMs can be cults, too.) Dr. Lalich can be found at janjalalich.com or lalichcenter.org.   Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you. 

Hey cats and kittens, we didn't want to leave you on this holiday without a non-depressing, one might even say "lighthearted" episode. And this is it. Based off your votes, we both (regrettably) watched the zinger "12 Men of Christmas," a Lifetime holiday movie from 2009 that didn't really include Christmas until the last few minutes, but did include objectifying men, introducing characters we had no interest in knowing further, a plot with way too many subplots, the girl from My Girl and, of course, the incomparable Tony-award-winning Kristin Chenoweth not singing, which was a crime unto itself. Please to be enjoying and we'll see you in 2024 with more toxic masculinity BS. Stay safe this holiday and remember, believe women and believe survivors. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your Elf on the Shelf, your feminist aunt, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you.     

We've seen this story play out one too many times. After a documented history of domestic violence by her partner Daniel Walker, 40-year-old Tyesha Wayne of Sahuarita, Arizona fought back this past August. While he attacked her in their garage, she grabbed a gun, pointed it at him, and asked him to leave her alone. He didn't. Tyesha fatally shot Daniel in self-defense and the courts are calling it premeditated murder, saying Tyesha's previous record would show a history of domestic violence against Daniel. Her previous record? Being strangled by Daniel to the point of unconsciousness only for her to be arrested immediately afterward. It's almost like the system has a vendetta against women…..but that can't be real, can it? Oh, but it seems it can be. Previous episodes of Toxic where we discuss survivors who were arrested and often jailed for defending themselves from their abuser include: Ep. 64—Nikki Addimando was sentenced to 19 years for killing her abusive partner. She's still in jail but is set to get out next year….finally. Ep. 60—Kayla Fassio didn't serve jail time but she was arrested after she called for help after an altercation with her abusive partner. Ep. 55—Rachel Bellesen shot her abusive ex after he attacked her and tried to rape her. She faced life behind bars. Ep. 42—Marissa Alexander was originally sentenced to 20 years in jail after firing a warning shot toward her husband who had attacked and then threatened to kill her.  Ep. 32—Kim Dadou Brown spent 17 years behind bars for killing her abusive partner as he tried to strangle her to death. Ep. 30—Survivor Robin nonfatally shot her abusive partner after he attacked and tried to kill her. She was arrested and he was not. He then went on to abuse his next wife. Tyesha deserves justice, peace and safety, and we hope you think so, too. Toxic will provide updates as we learn them. Also, mentioned in the episode was a previous one we did with Ed Sakwa, CEO of Emerge in Tucson, talking about whether or not abusers can reform. That episode number is 38 if you want to learn more about that. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  The best holiday gift you can give us is helping to spread this conversation further. You can do that by sharing any episode of Toxic with a friend, a coworker, your mom, a random stranger in line at the post office, etc.; by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media; or by leaving us a five-star review. We appreciate you.   

One of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's children created a post on Instagram lamenting his "f*cking awful human being" of a dad, calling the Oscar winner a "terrible and despicable person" who will "never understand the damage you have done to my family." Though Pax, now 19, posted this in 2020, the image was recently leaked for all of us to read and no longer avoid.  In 2016, the apparently Toxic Brad drunkenly attacked his then-wife Angelina and his children while flying on a private jet. The incident was said to be the impetus for the couple's subsequent divorce. And while Brad was heralded for getting sober after the fact, what wasn't as highly publicized was his attempt to silence Angelina about his previous misdeeds by making her sign a non-disclosure agreement.  With disappointment that yet another man we all once thought was the cat's pajamas has grossly failed us, we've got to talk about this.  However, we're not reluctant to talk about Matt Rife, because we all kind of knew he was a tool, right? If you haven't heard of this comedian who thinks jokes about violence against women are the best way to connect with his mostly female audience, well, strap in. Also, we need to discuss the some 3,000 civil lawsuits filed thanks to the Adult Survivors Act, a New York state law that granted victims of gender-based violence permission to sue their attackers even after the statute of limitations ended. This is like an early Christmas present for us all. The law expired on Nov. 23 (though will hopefully be renewed) and then the headlines went wild. We're talking Axel Rose (not shocking), Sean P. Diddy Combs, Jamie Foxx, the entire New York prison system and many more. TAKE 'EM DOWN, SURVIVORS. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it. You can also find a link to our store and get some pretty sweet merch preaching about how women don't want to be killed anymore! Makes for a great Christmas present! Also, please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your favorite teacher, your least favorite teacher, a random stranger in line at the post office, your wine aunt, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you. 

In breaking news, it seems guns aren't the only problem America has. We know half the population may not like this news, but it appears men are also an epidemic. Not all but far too many males are throwing temper tantrums with semi-automatic rifles when angry at women for setting actual boundaries or trying to live independently.  Of the 565 mass shootings SO FAR THIS YEAR in the U.S., every single one has been perpetuated by a man. And accroding to Everytown for Gun Safety, at least 60 percent of mass shooting have roots in domestic violence, but that's only counting the domestic violence that was disclosed.  In the case of Robert Card who, last week, took the lives of 18 individuals ranging in age from 14 to 76, sources close to him say he chose a bowling alley and a bar because they were spots he and his ex-girlfriend frequented in the past and he was likely hoping she'd be among his victims.  Jenna and Amanda discuss the motivation of those in charge for keeping women safe: Why are we so reluctant to do that? Why is it so hard to stay alive as a woman being stalked by an abuser? It can't possibly be because we're worth less than other humans, right?  You'll also hear about Judge Andrew Wilkinson who ruled that a violent and scary abusive man couldn't be trusted with his four young children and this logic cost him his life. In the meantime, why do police only protect women after an abuser has killed someone?  On this last day of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, make a pledge to do one thing to be a part of the solution. Start talking about what's going on. Help us spread this conversation by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you.  Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.   

In this survivor story, Mimi bravely shares with us what happened in 2012 when she decided to leave her abusive boyfriend for the last and final time. She knew he was an avid gun collector, but it never occurred to her that he would actually use one against her. Survivors of domestic violence often have a difficult time seeing the escalation of danger they face while in the thick of it. After all, in between abusive episodes, they are love-bombed, given promises of change and a romanticized version of a perfect future just ahead. Except, it's all a lie. The only thing real is the cycle of power and control that will continue to dominate their life. Learn how the police talked Mimi out of getting an order of protection weeks earlier, but finally came to her aid when she had a gun pressed to her temple. The madness continues. In the episode, we mention Mimi found help and healing through the nonprofit Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence. If you're a survivor of abuse or simply suspect something's off in your relationship, consider reaching out to an advocate near you. You can find your closest domestic violence nonprofit on the DomesticShelters.org Get Help page. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please consider sharing your favorite episode of Toxic with a friend, family member, coworker or complete stranger. The more we talk about this, the better a chance we'll collectively start to take it more seriously. Every day, three women or girls are killed by an partner. This number should be zero. Also, visit our Instagram page for daily challenges all this month to help raise awareness around domestic violence.  Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it. 

Oh, we have some beef with some dudes in this episode. First up is once-escaped murderer Danilo Cavalcante and the upwards of 500 law enforcement officials who searched weeks for him (say it with us: What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area!). While we love to see the effort, what we wish is that the thousands of other survivors who ask for help from police when an abusive partner informs them of their plans to murder them (see last episode) would get the same influx of attention. Alas, it seems to be that the most pronounced response from those who are here to protect us only comes after we're killed.  Next on the chopping block is Danny Masterson. Seems that most of his That '70s Show costars don't think he deserves a stay in the clink because he's against drugs (all their letters read earily similar). Tell that to the victims who were drugged and then woke up to Danny assaulting them.  We also have to talk about Luis Rubiales, the Royal Spanish Football Federation president who said he had every right to grab his D in front of the Queen of Spain and her teenage daughter because he was so jazzed about sports. He then smushed his mouth parts onto a female player because....he was so jazzed about sports. It's no big deal guys, men get so excited they just can't help it!  Finally, it's National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. This is a topic that deserves more discussion. Someone dies by suicide every 11 minutes. And for every death, there are 38 incomplete attempts by others. If you're contemplating suicide, please call 988 in the U.S., the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or chat online at 988lifeline.org. #BeThe1To is a a national effort by the Suicide crisis line which helps spread the word about actions we can all take to prevent suicide.  Also, if you have an abusive partner who is talking suicide, this can be a huge red flag for homicide as well. Don't ignore it. Read "What to Do When an Abuser Threatens Suicide" on DomesticShelters.org.  Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your babysitter, your favorite barista, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you. 

Statistics tell us that five women every single day will be murdered by their male intimate partners. EVERY DAY. Until we can do a podcast that's called, "How to Not Murder Your Partner" and trust that abusers will listen to it, we have this: the warning signs of homcide. If it can be predicted, it can be prevented (hopefully). If we can lessen victim pool for wannabe murderers out there, it's the best defense we have for the current moment.  Jenna and Amanda break down the nine warning signs of imminent homicide and what to do if you're seeing this happen with your partner. We also talk about the Danger Assessment tool to help you gauge how much danger you're currently in (sometimes, it's honesly hard to see if when you're in it) and something called VineLink.com that can alert you when a perpetrator is released from jail.  Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you. 

The Toxic Dish is our shorter version full of hot goss (shout out Fortune Feimster....whom Jenna says she's never heard of WTF) related to abuse and toxic masculinity. So, like, not as fun as the hot goss of sleepovers from days' past but STILL INTERESTING. Did you hear about Lizzo? Yeah, that was a disappointing turn of events we didn't have on our 2023 bingo card. Also, Netflix is releasing a Depp v. Heard documentary this week. Do we need to relive it? Does Amber? We're pretty sure no one asked her. But for those still on #TeamDepp, you might want to listen to our explainer on DARVO. It's a manipulation tactic loved by abusers far and wide, including our least favorite pirate.  Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your grandma, your veterinarian, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you. 

Tina Swithin, survivor, author and family court advocate, joins Amanda and Jenna in today's episode to talk about the confounding decision some family court judges are making to force traumatized and abused children to see or even live with their abusive parents. Utilizing something called Family Reunification Camps, these judges order already terrified children to be forcibly removed from a protective parent's home and sent to a facility where they're isolated, abused and gaslighted into believing the abuse they just recently escaped from never happened at all and that the parent they saw beat their mom is real sorry about that. Sweet! It recently happened to the children of Josh Homme, accused abuser of his wife Brody Dalle. Homme, vocalist/guitarist of Queens of the Stone Age and drummer for Eagles of Death Metal. Though he threatned to kill his wife, among other atrocities, and despite Dalle testifying that Homme had hit the children, drove drunk with them and that they were scared to be with him, his two young sons were forcibly removed from their home and haven't seen their mom in over a year. Not shockingly, abusers who insist on having custody of their kids who are terrified of them is a power move by abusers to punish and control their partners, and not about these a-holes being any kind of decent parent. And since our criminal justice system was largely built by men to benefit men, these legalized kidnappings track. But that doesn't mean they have to continue. Thanks to the efforts of tireless advocates like Swithin, we're hoping these so-called “camps” will disappear into the ether very soon.   Find Swithin at One Mom's Battle or @OneMomsBattle on Instagram or TikTok. Visit the National Safe Parents Organization to get involved or learn more.  Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you. 

Last week, phenomenal singer, songwriter, political activist and survivor Sinéad O'Connor passed away. In 1992, she ripped up a picture of the Pope John Paul II on SNL and shouted "Fight the real enemy!" It caused a hullabaloo because, omg, God. But she had her reasons. Good ones. Jenna and Amanda discuss.  We're also talking about Prager University, not a university, whose tagline is "Make kids racist again" and its infiltration into Florida elementary schools.  And finally, a court in Italy ruled a 17-year-old wasn't actually sexually assulted because the school janitor's in-pants groping of her only lasted about 10 seconds and apparently, only 11 seconds of touching causes trauma. Courts! So smart!   If you're a victim of sexual assault, please consider reaching out to the National Sexual Assault Hotline online or by calling 800-656-4673. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.  Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you. 

It was 1976 when Tina Turner fled for her life, literally, across multiple lanes of highway traffic to a Ramada Inn with $0.36 in her pocket and restarted her life. Despite being one of the most famous performance artists of her time, everyone associated her with Ike Turner, her abusive counterpart and husband. It wasn't until she spoke out publically in a 1981 People Magazine article titled, "Tina Turner: On the Prowl Without Ike" — because of course it was — that her fans would hear the truth. She wasn't half of an idyllic Hollywood couple. She was a survivor who'd had enough.  If you're a survivor of domestic violence, it's never your fault. Please consider visiting domesticshelters.org for a multitude of resources (many of which were written by Toxic co-host Amanda Kippert) or visit the Get Help page to find a shelter near you, staffed with advocates ready and willing to listen and help. For more information on Toxic, to pick up some sweet angry feminist merch, or to submit a story idea for an upcoming episode, visit ToxicthePodcast.com.  As always, we would be so appreciative if you rated or reviewed us on this platform, or shared us with a friend, so that we might be able to reach more people. Domestic violence needs to be talked about to lessen the arrogant power of abusers who think they can get away with anything. (We're looking at you, Ike Turner, even though you're dead.)

Weaponized incompetence deserves a second episode, and this time, we brought friends: ThatDarnChat, aka Laura Danger, propelled to popularity online by talking about domestic labor and its unequal distribution in many relationships, and SpeechProf, aka Professor Chesko, an outspoken feminist advocate on TikTok. Both of these talented individuals do the thankless work of tearing down misogynistic rhetoric through humor and courage (because you know misogynists don't want misogyny to end....that would be terrible for them).  In this episode, we not only try to dispel the myth that domestic work is women's work (spoiler alert, it's not! Even if you're a woman who works from home! Even if your male partner works or makes more!). Domestic work should be a shared responsibility, and that includes emotional and mental labor. The idea that this should all fall on women because we're "so good at it" is not a compliment—it's burning us the eff out and resulting in depression, anxiety and the anger of a thousand suns. (Labour by Paris Paloma anyone?) If you like today's jibber jabber, check out Laura's podcast, Time to Lean, with her cohost Crystal Britt. Also check out Chesko's about-to-launch brand-new podcast, Bad Advice Wednesdays, which is exactly what it sounds like. Advice is mostly useless anyway, may as well make it awful.  Please consider rating and reviewing us (only if you like us, obvi), or visit us at toxicthepodcast.com to submit an episode idea or pick up some stop-killing-women merch. You know you need that in your life. 

Happy Pride, y'all! We hope this month is super duper uncomfortable for all the homophobes out there! In this episode, we're scratching our heads over a [failed] Target boycott of a few people who are appalled by the idea of merchandise that would promote the idea of loving everyone, even *GASP* those different from us. Don't worry, we end with a recommendation of a place where only love and acceptance are flourishing (sure, you'll have to go back on Facebook for a hot sec but it's worth it). But before we get to that, we have to talk Danny Masterson being found guilty and the strange coincidence of Bijou Phillips — her dad and husband share a not-so-great trait...? Also, politics. What is Title 8 and how is it rooted in misogyny? So glad you asked and we'd be happy to tell you.  As always, if you have any Dish-worthy topics you think we should cover, want to pick up one of our popular stop-killing-women tees, or just want to see what our faces look like, head on over to ToxicthePodcast.com.  Please consider rating and reviewing us (only if you liked what you heard, obvi), for good karma points, and so that our message can reach wider and farther.     

Weaponized incompetence is a manipulation tactic used by individuals to purposefully avoid sharing labor equally in a partnership. It's not only annoying as all hell, it can be a favorite tactic of abusers who subscribe to traditional gender roles and have no interest in stepping outside of them. Is your partner constantly forgetting how to provide basic care for their own children? Is remembering a grocery list just far too confusing for your partner? Are you solely responsible for taking care of all the holiday labor because your partner insists they just can't do it as well as you? Have you ever been told, "that's woman's work"? Welcome, you've been victimized by weaponized incompetence.  Not only is it infuriating, weaponized incompetence is also misogynistic. It designates certain tasks as feminine and beneath male partners—or coworkers. What professional female hasn't been assigned "notetaker" during a meeting where they're of equal importance to their male counterparts? We're diving into what fuels individuals (ahem, men) to use weaponized incompetence, how to break the cycle with our kids and what to do if you're in the throes of it.  You can learn more about mental and emotional abuse in this guide.  If you like what you hear, please consider rating and reviewing us, or even better, sharing an episode with a friend. For information on the show, the hosts, to submit a story idea or pick up some merch, visit toxicthepodcast.com.       

Happy (?!) Sexual Assault Awareness Month...? Maybe? Every 68 seconds, a sexual assaulter is choosing to assault someone. We need to talk about this. What does sexual assault look like—it's rape, but so much more—and why is it one of the most underreported crimes (spoiler alert: we're shaming women into silence)? With this many constant assaults, it was hard to pick just one assaulter to talk about, but we did it. Mainly because Chris D'Elia is out there Chris Browning it up, making money, touring as a comedian and enjoying his fame even after he's been accused by women and girls, as young as 16, of grooming and sexual assault, as well as just all around being a creepster. Free tip for all men out there: no woman wants the unexpected D just getting flopped out unexpectedly. No woman wants that. None. Write it down if you need to. Start a new note in your phone. Title it, "Don't Do These Things." Write down, "Take out your D with random women." If you need to talk to someone about sexual assault, consider calling the National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit RAINN.org, the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network to learn more about sexual abuse. Also, check out The Chris D'Elia Problem on YouTube, a well-done short documentary on said sexual predator.       

When Bonnie's husband decided he wanted to possibly kill her, rather than, oh, we don't know, love and respect her, Bonnie knew she needed to run. But with a toddler, a three-day-old baby, two big dogs and a 30-pound tortoise in her care, finding a shelter that could help her proved nearly impossible. An estimated 70 percent of domestic violence survivors have pets, but only a fraction of domestic violence shelters have the resources available that allow pets to come with a survivor. As a result, survivors with pets stay an average of two years longer with dangerous, sometimes deadly, abusers, afraid to leave their animals behind. The nonprofit RedRover is hoping to change that, aiming to make at least 25% of shelters animal-friendly by 2025. In this episode, we hear from Bonnie (don't worry, her story has a happy-ish ending) and then from Katie Campbell, Director of Collaboration and Outreach for RedRover about their amazing efforts to make sure no pet is left behind. You might even want to consider signing up to be a volunteer (like Amanda did), support in some other way or apply for help. If you're a shelter that wants to become pet-friendly, check out DontForgetthePets.org for more info! Grassroots organizations around the country are currently helping to care for animals of survivors in danger, and your support would be amazing. Check out Praline's Backyard in Georgia, Hush Puppy Haven in Florida and Lost Our Home Pet Rescue in Arizona to start. (If you run a pet rescue org that helps DV survivors, give us a shout and we'll make sure to promote you on our socials!) Survivors in need can also check out the Animal Welfare Institute's Safe Havens mapping project which tracks all the safe havens where animals of DV victims could be fostered in times of crisis. Visit ToxicthePodcast.com for more resources, past episodes and Toxic merch, the proceeds from which go right back to organizations helping women escape violence. 

It's Dish! The shorter (sometimes?!) version of Toxic where we rant about the newsy stuff that's chock-full of toxicity. Two weeks ago, the U.S. was collectively traumatized by its 131st mass shooting that took the lives of three kids and three adults, and yet all Tennessee did in response was a.) ask people to pray away the murderous rampages and b.) fire three heroic Representatives who said this situation f'ing sucks. Great job, everyone. Later, we talk about one bit of good news, Wisconsin's election of Judge Janet Protasiewicz—whose last name we can't pronounce to save our lives, many apologies—to the state supreme court and the things she will hopefully be able to do to secure women's rights to bodily autonomy. There's lots of bad, a little good and a Zombie Jesus holiday upon us. Time to discuss.    As always, if you like what you hear, please share Toxic with a friend and ten good karma points will be rewarded. Find out more about your hosts, Jenna and Amanda, and buy some sweet rant-a-riffic merch at ToxicthePodcast.com. All proceeds are immediately donated back to organizations run by and run for protecting women. 

According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, 43 percent of men in the U.S. have experienced some form of sexual harassment and or sexual assault in their lifetime. In 2003, Brendan Fraser became one of them. Philip Berk, former president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association and a man in a position of power, felt entitled to Brendan's body in that way predators do, leading to the actor's near disappearance from Hollywood for over a decade. But it was seeing strong-as-hell females step forward as survivors at the 2013 Golden Globes that inspired him to speak up and speak out. His Brenaissance is much-deserved, but it also begs the question—do women get the same standing ovations for their comeback? If you're a survivor of sexual assault, please consider reaching out to someone at the National Sexual Assault Hotline, 800-656-HOPE. You can find a comprehensive list of resources for survivors on ToxicthePodcast.com. And if you like what you hear in this episode, please consider leaving a rating or review of Toxic so that this podcast can reach others. Do you have an idea for an episode? Let us know on our "Tell Your Story" page. 

This Dish covers a lot of bases: Taylor Swift is on tour and pulls a hero move that addresses a basic need many of us take for granted. A stalker is on trial in Wisconsin accused of murder after his ex-girlfriend's new partner goes missing, but his teenage daughter isn't going to cover for his ass. And will he or won't he-who-is-too-toxic-to-be-named be arrested this week? And will he actually see the inside of a jail? And if he does, will he slowly disintegrate behind bars like Harvey Weinstein?  If you like what you hear on Dish, tune in next Monday for our feature episode where we cover one main story of toxic misogyny in depth. And if you really like what you hear, help us get the word out to others by sharing an episode, rating or reviewing us, or visiting us at toxicthepodcast.com where you can get some feminist-rage merch, share your story idea or find valuable resources.   

To All the Men I've Tolerated Before host Natalie Katona joins Amanda for a quickie (dirty) episode about the healing powers of disecting past relationships, why we find Penn Badgley alluring in You, even though we shouldn't (and he's told us not to), and more general musings on misgony.  Check out Natalie's other online presence, Still Comfy? a Youtube livestream where she and a friend dissect their favorite comfort shows and movies.  We stan a funny feminist queen. 

Ready to be angry? Nikki Addimando was terrified to leave her abusive partner of nine years, Chris Grover, believing the only way she could protect herself and her two young children was to stay and try and endure his abuse, hoping he would stop eventually. But in the meantime, she collected evidence, just as we advise survivors to do—photographs, medical records, forensic reports—each time he assaulted her. Until the night he asked her to load his gun for him and then pointed it directly at her. Feeling like she had two choices—be murdered or fight back—she tried to save her life and the life of her kids, only to be sentenced to 19 years to life as a result. Learn how a female DA and male judge tried to blame her for Chris' abuse, accuse her of creating her own revenge porn and have ultimately kept her from holding her children for the last five years.  Learn more at WeStandWithNikki.comand, if so compelled, consider signing the #FreeNikki Change.org Petition. And if you don't already, learn your ACEs score, which stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences. Childhood trauma will shape so much of your adult life, putting you at a higher risk of being a victim of abuse or an abuser to someone else.  As always, if you are a victim of abuse, don't wait. Reach out to a trained domestic violence advocate today to talk about options, including safety plans, emergency shelter and how to protect your children. Find an advocate near you at DomesticShelters.org or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE. #WeStandWithNikki

It's all the toxicity you love to hate ...but less. This Dish, we're talking Women's History Month —it's time to remind yourself and others that women actually have done important things in history, politics, culture and the arts. We did stuff, ladies! Visit toxicthepodcast.com to see a list of children's books we love that celebrate women in history (for those little feminists in your life). We also talk Andrew Tate, again, unfortunately. And Amanda talks being trapped in a real-life Twister reenactment when she traveled to Texas last week to meet some stellar domestic violence peeps, part of One Safe Place and The Alliance for Hope. Luckily, no flying cows were spotted.  Our apologies for a few recording snafus where the audio was delayed and we talk over each other. #alwaysprofessional

We're launching something new here at Toxic. It's the shorter, newsy bits of toxicity that you love to hate, coming to you every other week in between our full episodes. Come laugh, cry and scream into the abyss with us about all the ways misogyny infiltrates our world on a daily basis.  In this episode, we're talking BIG NEWS about the capture of one of our previous murderous (allegedly) a-holes who was on the run before we dive into the hot topic of picture books Florida isn't allowing kids to read (spoiler alert: pretty much anything not about straight white people). Because children's books, not guns, need to be more strongly regulated. See this list of 176 books banned in Duval County, Fla., last December. Let us know what you think of Toxic by rating and reviewing this podcast, or visit us at toxicthepodcast.com for more about us, some fun merch or to submit your own story or episode idea.  If you need help escaping domestic violence, please visit DomesticShelters.org to find a shelter near you, or to speak to an advocate. Everyone deserves to feel safe at home.     

Did you know that in over half the states in the U.S., mandatory arrest laws denote at least one, if not both parties, will be arrested when police respond to a domestic violence call? As they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and though these laws were originally designed in the '80s to take the burden off a survivor of pressing charges on the scene, they're actually doing the opposite in some cases and resulting in survivors being the ones arrested. Who knew that abusive partners could lie so well? (Oh, we did.) Now these lawas are a barrier for many survivors to call the police. Kayla Fassio, host of the podcast Habits You Love, dialed 911 during a physical altercation with her then-boyfriend. Scared at how the fight was escalating, she hoped police would intervene but they thought it best if they took Kayla to jail. What does getting locked up do to someone who's trapped with a toxic or abusive partner? Does it empower them to leave safely? (If you said no, give yourself a gold star.) Kayla chronicles her whole journey through this distructive relationship on her BFF's podcast, It Doesn't End Here, and today, shares with us a little bit about life after a toxic partner and her journey to overcoming the shame that often comes along with it.