Podcasts about Politely

Is there a way to BETRAY a friend… but POLITELY? One of our listeners wants to do that, but she has a good reason for it and wants our help with an Awkward Tuesday Phone Call!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is there a way to BETRAY a friend… but POLITELY? One of our listeners wants to do that, but she has a good reason for it and wants our help with an Awkward Tuesday Phone Call!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Cold OpenCBT…? Never worked for autistic me.So, look, we KNOW masking doesn't work. Or FEAR. Or PAIN. We're dying from them already.That's all the words we need.[Music]IntroYou're listening to AutisticAF Out Loud. One voice. Raw. Real. Fiercely Neurodivergent. Since 1953.Season 5, Episode 6. “Doc? You Got Us All Wrong, Pt 2: CBT…? Never Worked for Autistic Me.”Abelist agendas. Bad research subjects. Bad data. Bad therapy.There's the whole story.An experimental multi-part series… around 10 minutes each. Cuz some autistic listeners tell me they like to binge in small bites. Others say they listen in the car… so you can also download the complete series as one file.Just one autistic elder's truth. I'm Johnny Profane.Content Note: trauma discussion, medical system critique, institutional discrimination, psychiatric hospitalizations, systemic oppression + experiences & opinions of one autistic voice... in my 70s.[Music]I've been struggling with an article on CBT & Autism for years.Sigh. Spoons. A lot of reading. A lot of thinking…To come to my opinion… my thesis…that any therapy based on purely cognitive techniques… even if pros throw on some Behavioral rubber-band-snapping special sauce on the side…?It's inherently ableist… attacking the very way our autistic brains are wired. Demanding abilities many neurodivergents just weren't born with.Here's a snapshot. A quick personal story from when autistic-as-fuck me turned for help…“I'm sorry… What did you just say?”“I said…” He looked nervous. “I said… I always recommend aversive therapy for my autistic kids. My clients.”Me. In a dead-cold voice. “Snapping a rubber band.”“Y-e-s-s.” He seemed torn. Was I gonna get positive reinforcement… Or that weird, hostile, defensiveness professionals get. When you ask questions.Into that hesitant silence, I say, “Snap it hard. Hard as they can. Against their wrist.”“Yes. The sting is important.” Now, he's eager to share. “When they repeat the aversive stimulus, they…”Again I interrupt with my ashen, Clint-Eastwood voice. “During a meltdown.”“Well… actually… just before.” He's beaming, proud. “They learn to snap the band at the earliest hint they'll lose control. It's operant conditioning.”A kid having a meltdown on Aisle 3. Likely overwhelmed by sensory overload.Let's just add a little sharp pain… and see what happens…As if by giving it some science-y name… it's not self-inflicted torture.Brief CBT BackgroundCognitive Behavioral Therapy emerged in the 60s. A kind of forced marriage. Between Beck's cognitive therapy… focused on internal thoughts. And Skinner's behavioral therapy… focused on observable behavior. Both developed studying neurotypical minds.Change your thoughts, change your feelings, change your behavior… change your life. Simple, right?Unless your brain doesn't work that way…Sometimes…? Research… Ain't.How could COGNITIVE Behavioral Therapy not be inappropriate for autistics?Research Problem #1. It's based on studying neurotypical populations. But we autistics think differently by definition.Problem #2? For the foundational studies, CBT researchers used white, university student subjects… for the most part. They're easy and cheap to find. But maybe 3% are autistic? Maybe? ALL with decent IQs and functioning student skills… even the few autistic subjects?And Problem #3 is a doozy. Many autistics survive by people-pleasing. Kids and grownups. We're likely to mask our true experiences to appear "better"... or please therapists. Plus we may have trouble perceiving and communicating our own experience. Self-reported data might not reflect our reality.,Then there's one that's rarely discussed. Problem #4… the "waitlist relief effect." Most neurodivergent folks endure months or years waiting for therapy, suffering intensely. When we finally get accepted into therapy? There's overwhelming relief… elevating our mood and behavior. Which distorts everything a therapist will hear.We may dial up our masking. Cuz we're scared shitless we'll lose this lifeline.Meanwhile, researchers publish, buff their nails…. and attribute any self-reported improvement as proof their technique works.The Cognitive Part…? A Stopper.Substitute "executive functioning" for "cognitive." As in the thing they say is largely missing from my autistic forebrain.The entire technique? One cognitive process after another.. First you must notice. Then you must reflect.Then decide.Then review.Then judge context.Then review…Finally… Act.Then regret.Let that sink in. All of cognitive therapy is about monitoring individual thoughts for "cognitive errors." Then replacing them with correct ones.Hundreds of decisions, distinctions, social cue processings. Executive functioning. A process that NEVER became automatic for me. As clinician after clinician cheerfully reassured me it would.Many autistic individuals have memory differences. Working memory differences that make it nearly impossible to hold the kind of information cognitive work requires. Much less manipulate it on the fly…Now… About Behavior.Now, the "Behavioral" part of CBT? The Skinnerian special sauce?Rewards… and punishments… for the action you choose. Hoping you'll build automatic, correct responses.Basically rat training. If you shock me enough times. Sure. I won't go through that door. AND I will struggle mightily to only have an internal stroke... rather than an external meltdown.But the researcher... or teacher... gets to check the box, "Cured." Cuz we're no longer a nuisance to them. And we continue to quietly die. Invisibly. Politely...Inside.That kind of aversion... to fear or pain? True for every living thing at an evolutionary level above a paramecium.Like rats. Or kids. Cuz... FEAR works. PAIN works. Just not the way they think.These Practical Implementation Failures…Should sound pretty familiar. To autistic folks. Keenly aware of the nightmare effort Autistic Masking demands around Straight Society.So, look, we know masking doesn't work. Or fear. Or PAIN. We're dying from them already.That's all the words we need.Add to this our difficulty forming new habits, maintaining routines, and processing cognitive information differently. Under stress… which therapy itself can induce… we often revert to previous behaviors. Any “improvements” from “techniques”? Not bloody likely they're ingrained as permanent muscle memory.Requiring frequent refresher sessions to maintain the illusion of change… and progress.As one commenter wrote: "To me, CBT has always felt inherently surface-level. It's like closing a few tabs on your browser as opposed to doing a factory reset."Biggest problem of all? Neurodivergent Diversity.Autistic, ADHD, AuDHD, dyslexic, dyspraxic… all different cognitive profiles.Sure, we're all different from the typical population. But an autistic who also experiences ADHD thinks and acts differently than a dyslexic one. At least to my trained observation. I was a mental health social worker for 10 years…Despite these complexities… Maybe because it is complex… It seems to me that CBT treats us all as if we're standard-model humans. With a few bugs to fix.We require GENERATIONAL studies of representative populations to sort this spaghetti pile out. Before we should be recommending these techniques.On living humans. Adults. And especially kids.ABA and Its Relatives: An Even Deeper Hole.Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) deserves special mention. It's the behavioral therapy most parents hear about in grammar schools.What most don't know? ABA shares roots with debunked, torturous gay Conversion Therapy. Outlawed in many states. Both were developed by O. Ivar Lovaas in the 60s.Both aim to eliminate "undesirable" behaviors. Using “aversive” techniques. From snapping rubber bands in the nice clinics. To cattle prods in the not-so-nice facilities.Punishing and suppressing behaviors that are natural to our nervous systems. Behaviors that protect us from a society not built for us.ABA may have volumes of "data." But it's all shaped by behaviors researchers and parents want, not what autistic children or adults need. The outcomes measured? Eye contact. Sitting still. Verbal responses. Not internal autistic wellbeing.It's important to understand one simple point. Data is not science.How you frame your research or experiment How you gather your data How you choose how many subjects and whom When you choose to gather data How you interpret your data How you present your dataAll impact its validity and value. ABA and all its camouflaged cousins fall down on this core scientific truth.Bottom line? When former ABA children grow up, many report trauma. PTSD. Anxiety. Depression. Self-harm.ConclusionFuck #ABA. Fuck #CBT.Everybody in the therapeutic-industrial complex from clinic receptionist to billionaire pharmaceutical CEO makes money. From your kid's pain. Caused by treatments that don't address neurodivergent needs. As far as I… and better-known neurodiversity-affirming authorities… can tell.Strong words? Yes. Because minds… and lives… are at stake.We need therapies that work WITH our neurology, not against it. That build on our strengths instead of calling us coolly, professionally, pathologizing names.In Part 3, we'll really bring this all home. How labeling our intrinsic differences as disease is about as anti-therapeutic as you can get.We'll explore "PDA… Not Every Difference Is a Disease." And really raise a ruckus.OutroFor your deeper diving pleasure, the transcript contains references and footnotes for most points I raise. From a variety of views.Hey, don't forget, you can download Part 1, “Autistic Resilience.” Or download both parts as one file.More coming in this series exploring how neurodivergent folks can build sustainable, authentic lives… with or without professional intervention. With 2 more parts coming…AutisticAF Out Loud podcast is supported solely by listeners like you. If you have a friend or family member touched by neurodiversity? Why not turn them on to us with a quick email?By the way, we believe no one should have to pay to be autistic. Many neurodivergent people can't afford subscription content.Your Ko-Fi tip of any amount helps keep this resource free for them. Or join our paid subscriber community at johnnyprofaneknapp.substack.com for ongoing support. I put both links in description.References & Further Reading1: Ableist: Discriminating against people with disabilities by assuming everyone's mind and body work the same way. Like designing a world only for the "standard model human" and then blaming us when we can't navigate it.2: Operant conditioning: A learning process in which behavior is shaped by rewards or punishments.3: Beck, A. T. (1979). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. Penguin.4: Bottema-Beutel, K., & Crowley, S. (2021). Pervasive Undisclosed Conflicts of Interest in Applied Behavior Analysis Autism Literature. Frontiers in Psychology, 12.5: Cage, E., Di Monaco, J., & Newell, V. (2018). Experiences of Autism Acceptance and Mental Health in Autistic Adults. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 48(2), 473-484.6: Masking: The act of concealing one's autistic traits to fit in or avoid negative attention.7: Meta-analyses show that waitlist control groups often overestimate the effect sizes of psychotherapies for depression and anxiety, and that changes occurring during waitlist periods are typically small, making waitlist-controlled trials a less strict test of effectiveness.Cuijpers, P., Karyotaki, E., Reijnders, M., Purgato, M., de Wit, L., Ebert, D. D., ... & Furukawa, T. A. (2024). Overestimation of the effect sizes of psychotherapies for depression in waitlist-controlled trials: a meta-analytic comparison with usual care controlled trials. Epidemiology and Psychiatric Sciences, 33, e10.8: Patterson, B., Boyle, M. H., Kivlenieks, M., & Van Ameringen, M. (2016). The use of waitlists as control conditions in anxiety disorders research. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 41, 56-64.9: Boucher, J., Mayes, A., & Bigham, S. (2012). Memory in autistic spectrum disorder. Psychological Bulletin, 138(3), 458-496.10: Happé, F., & Frith, U. (2006). The weak coherence account: detail-focused cognitive style in autism spectrum disorders. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 36(1), 5-25.11: Rekers, G. A., & Lovaas, O. I. (1974). Behavioral treatment of deviant sex-role behaviors in a male child. Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis, 7(2), 173–190.See also: El Dewar (2024), "ABA: The Neuro-Normative Conversion Therapy," NDConnection; and the Lovaas Institute's 2024 statement regarding conversion therapy.12: Sandoval-Norton, A. H., & Shkedy, G. (2019). How much compliance is too much compliance: Is long-term ABA therapy abuse? Cogent Psychology, 6(1).13: McGill, O., & Robinson, A. (2020). "Recalling hidden harms": Autistic experiences of childhood Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA). Advances in Autism, ahead-of-print.14: Xie, Y., Zhang, Y., Li, Y., et al. (2021). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Autism Spectrum Disorders: A Systematic Review. Pediatrics, 147(5), e2020049880.81015: Weston, L., Hodgekins, J., & Langdon, P. E. (2016). Effectiveness of cognitive behavioural therapy with people who have autistic spectrum disorders: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, 49, 41-54.16: Miguel, C., Harrer, M., Cuijpers, P., et al. (2025). Self-reports vs clinician ratings of efficacies of psychotherapies for depression: a meta-analysis. Epidemiology and Psychiatric Sciences, 34, e9.Note: Links are provided for reference only. Views expressed may differ from my own experiences and observations. Sources affiliated with Autism Speaks are controversial in the neurodiversity community. Their research may be included for completeness. But perhaps be cautious.Binge on the most authentic autistic voice in podcasting.7 decades of raw truth, real insights, zero yadayada.#AutisticAF Out Loud Newsletter is a reader-supported publication. Click below to receive new posts… free. Tosupport my work, consider becoming a paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit johnnyprofaneknapp.substack.com/subscribe

Cold OpenYou wanna pathologize me? Knock yerself out. Faithfully counting every leaf marked "deficit"…But missing the whole damn forest we know locally as "Survival."[Doc? You Got Us All Wrong, Pt 1: Autistic Resilience]IntroYou're listening to AutisticAF Out Loud. One voice. Raw. Real. Fiercely Neurodivergent. Since 1953.Season 5, Episode 5. “Doc? You Got Us All Wrong, Pt 1: Autistic Resilience.”Deficits… or strengths? Survival… or thriving? Pathology… or inborn, natural autistic behavior? We turn the diagnostic telescope around. Let's focus on the forest of resilience behind every leaf labeled "deficit."An experimental multi-part series… all around 10 minutes. Because some neurodivergent listeners like to binge in small bites. Or you can download Part 1 and Part 2 at once… for listeners who crave the whole enchilada in one sitting.Just one autistic elder's truth. I'm Johnny Profane.Content Note: trauma discussion, medical system critique, institutional discrimination, psychiatric hospitalizations, systemic oppression + experiences & opinions of one autistic voice... in my 70s.[Music]What I tell any therapist… any caregiver… first session:I have survived physical and sexual abuse from family and schoolmates.Bullying by teachers and fellow students… 2nd grade through high school.Multiple professional crashes… in multiple careers.At least a dozen firings.2 evictions.1 bankruptcy.Dozens of major household moves.Few friends, and…2 divorces, 3 "living togethers," and a couple of "serious" relationships that, well…, weren't?Ain't this resilience?Resilience. Ya know, that cap-and-gown term pros use for getting knocked down seven times. Stubbornly getting up… eight...I'm still alive. Still creating. Still getting published. Still speaking to thousands of autistics a year.Never attempted suicide... despite three hospitalizations.AND I'm still autistic. Cuz there ain't no cure for something that ain't wrong. Unless you base your "medical model" on some statistical "normal"… which is just a made up story. Cuz not one living person is summed up by a Bell curve normal… not even within a standard deviation.Yes, yes… yes. Some professionals are evolving. Pros who listen more than lecture. But face it. In the grand scheme of things… they're rare.Let's get clear right now, right here. It's not being autistic that creates our trauma. It's living autistic in a society that inflicts trauma on us. Refusing to accept, adapt… support… us.Why do "helping" pros focus on my deficits, my lacks, my pitiful performance of “Activities of Daily Living”…? Like, did I shower today…? No.Rather than the sheer strength of will I demonstrate every time I take my next breath?Why do they offer to fix me,inform me,guide me, andcharge me for sessions,mentoring,workshops,best-selling books,SYSTEMS they've just invented…based on… at best… incomplete research?[Music]You know social media… if you like and share this podcast, a lot more people will check it out. You can do a lot of good with just one click.You wanna pathologize me? Knock yerself out.Turn my every inborn neurodivergent characteristic into a disease. You do have powerful diagnostic tools…But you're looking through that diagnostic telescope backwards. Faithfully counting every leaf marked "deficit"… But missing the whole damn forest that we know locally as "Survival."Like my "failure to maintain eye contact.” A “social deficit.” Right... completely missing how that survival skill lets me process your words… without painful sensory overload. My form of my respect… for you.Go ahead and use professionally, objectively disempowering terms, like "comorbidity"... betraying your bias that my very way of Being is… in your eyes… a disease. And then riff on, elaborate away: "pathological demand avoidance," "obsessive-compulsive disorder," "borderline personality disorder,"And on and on… and on.Truth? Every diagnosis? Just another survival mechanism. Not symptoms of autism. Responses to how society treats autism.Behaviors that kept me alive… in your world. While you obsess over what's "wrong" with me…Or… we could build on my autistic strengths.Look, none of us have all of these. And superpowers don't exist. Some have strengths not listed. But if you aren't looking for them? Likely, you're mis-treating us.* Resilience: Just surviving multiple, severe stressors is a biggie. Every autistic adult you meet has adapted to extreme challenges. Most of us… traumatized. Yet we endure. We integrate. We keep going.* Deep Feeling: Pros call ‘em "mood swings." We call it feeling everything… deeply. Depth that drives our creativity… in science, art, writing, becoming lunatic billionaires… or the cool neighbor next door.. It's not a flaw. It's fuel.* Survival Skills: My life, my continued existence… is my proof. Just as any autistic adult's life is. We've survived devastating life events. With inner strength and coping strategies.These aren't skills most professionals understand… not even some neurodivergent practitioners. Because these skills are linked to how our individual autistic minds work. Which is… in fact… different. Not just from most humans. From each other, too.* Creative Persistence: Every autistic person knows this pull. Our passionate focus on our interests. Grabbing us deeper than hunger. We don't just see details… no matter what TV tells you. We work on wide canvases. We create. We build. We solve. That's strength.* Living with Extremes: My knee surgeon was shocked. "You walked two miles a day on a torn meniscus?" Yes, but… a light touch on my face can trigger panic. That's not contradiction. That's how we survive. We may get sensory warnings earlier than most… Yet we handle what breaks others. Daily.* Hidden Adaptability: Look at my life changes—jobs, homes, relationships. Society labels us as "rigid." Truth is, we adapt constantly. We got no choice. Yet we persevere. We keep doing. That's not weakness. That's strength.* Processing Power: We take in everything. Process it deeply. Yet live through emotional and sensory experiences that would derail most people. We keep going. Keep growing. That's not dysfunction. That's determination. Coming directly from… not despite… our neurodivergent cognition.* Spectrum of Strength: Maybe resilience is a spectrum, too. And some of us autistics crank it up past 11. Not weakness from disability. Strength from difference. Turning autistic stereotypes upside down. Yet again.[Music]Just a quickie… this is Part 1 of “Doc? You Got Autism All Wrong?” Why not binge the next part? Or download the long-form version with both parts? Link in transcript.Challenging Normal-izing ModelsMy story? Just one among thousands. Millions.I've worked as a magazine publisher. Functioned as an academic grad student… multiple times. And been homeless… multiple times. I've been privileged to hear many, many similar stories over the decades. At all levels of society, education, age.These stories all share one truth: Autistic traits are not inherently deficits. They can be hidden sources of strength and resilience. In the right environment. In the right community.Take one example: Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). What pros like to label our natural, neurodivergent response to external demands like deadlines. I meet the diagnostic criteria. Always have. But in my opinion, they bulldoze right over my inborn need for autonomy. Leading too often to trauma. PDA… seems to me… a dehumanizing slur. For the nature I was born with.Yet many neurodivergents find comfort and support diagnosed as PDA. In the acknowledgment of our differences the diagnosis does offer. I don't wish to negate their experience. And I'm not arguing neurodivergents do NOT have needs for autonomy. Or that we don't suffer due to these differences. At the hands of Straight Culture.My point: Sensory and social differences are NOT pathologies.It's like dogs noticing that cats are more hyper than canines...So to "help" ‘em, pro dogs decide to forcibly train or torture every cat. To steamroll them into converting to “Dog Normal.”We are human… autistic humans.We need what all humans need: To build on our strengths. To find our nurturing environments. To choose our supportive communities.We just accomplish these things... differently.Look, I'm fighting the whole Normative Narrative. Which demands any difference MUST be "cured." Or at least fixed.And I'm not keen on neurodivergent-based attempts to bandaid the problem. By simply defining a new normal for autistics and other neurodivergents. Just another standard we may fail to live up to.Frankly, I'm calling for a strengths-based, non-normative psychology for all neurodivergents. A theme I develop in this series and future podcasts. How we might replace CBT and similar treatments with more neurodivergent-centered alternatives.So where do we start this revolution?Doc, Stop. Look again…At the big picture this time. See those brilliant sparks of unusual strength? Far more powerful than your "deficits."Reality check: Up to now, you've just been documenting how modern consumer culture fails our neurology. In the office. In our schools. In shopping at freaking Walmart for fuck's sake.Anywhere we're forced to process too much sensory input. Or pretend to read invisible social cues. Pretend we're you… without rest or accommodation.Let's explore a new direction. Simply put?Doc… stop looking through your telescope backwards. Look at us. Right in front of your eyes._____References & Further ReadingNeither exhaustive nor comprehensive. Articles that made me think.* The high prevalence of trauma and adverse experiences among autistic individuals* PTSD and Autism* Trauma and Autism: Research and Resources* How to build resiliency in autistic individuals: an implication to advance mental health* Association Between Autism and PTSD Among Adult Psychiatric Outpatients* The relationship between autism and resilience* Building Resilience – An Important Life Skill* Understanding Resilience in Neurodivergent Adults* Autistic Resilience: Overcoming Adversity Through Self-Care and Strengths* The criticism of deficit-based models of autism* Moving Beyond Deficit-Based Models of Autism* Strengths-First Assessment in Autism* The reality of autistic strengths and capabilities* 6 Strengths (not Weaknesses) of Individuals with Autism* Autism as a Strength* Neurodiversity as a Competitive AdvantageNote: Links are provided for reference only. Views expressed may differ from my own experiences and observations. Sources affiliated with Autism Speaks are controversial in the neurodiversity community. Their research may be included for completeness. But perhaps be cautious.Doc, You Got Us All Wrong, Pt 2: CBT...? Never Worked for Autistic MeCold OpenCBT…? Never worked for autistic me.So, look, we KNOW masking doesn't work. Or FEAR. Or PAIN. We're dying from them already.That's all the words we need.[Music]IntroYou're listening to AutisticAF Out Loud. One voice. Raw. Real. Fiercely Neurodivergent. Since 1953.Season 5, Episode 6. “Doc? You Got Us All Wrong, Pt 2: CBT…? Never Worked for Autistic Me.”Abelist agendas. Bad research subjects. Bad data. Bad therapy.There's the whole story.An experimental multi-part series… around 10 minutes each. Cuz some autistic listeners tell me they like to binge in small bites. Others say they listen in the car… so you can also download the complete series as one file.Just one autistic elder's truth. I'm Johnny Profane.Content Note: trauma discussion, medical system critique, institutional discrimination, psychiatric hospitalizations, systemic oppression + experiences & opinions of one autistic voice... in my 70s.[Music]I've been struggling with an article on CBT & Autism for years.Sigh. Spoons. A lot of reading. A lot of thinking…To come to my opinion… my thesis…that any therapy based on purely cognitive techniques… even if pros throw on some Behavioral rubber-band-snapping special sauce on the side…?It's inherently ableist… attacking the very way our autistic brains are wired. Demanding abilities many neurodivergents just weren't born with.Here's a snapshot. A quick personal story from when autistic-as-fuck me turned for help…“I'm sorry… What did you just say?”“I said…” He looked nervous. “I said… I always recommend aversive therapy for my autistic kids. My clients.”Me. In a dead-cold voice. “Snapping a rubber band.”“Y-e-s-s.” He seemed torn. Was I gonna get positive reinforcement… Or that weird, hostile, defensiveness professionals get. When you ask questions.Into that hesitant silence, I say, “Snap it hard. Hard as they can. Against their wrist.”“Yes. The sting is important.” Now, he's eager to share. “When they repeat the aversive stimulus, they…”Again I interrupt with my ashen, Clint-Eastwood voice. “During a meltdown.”“Well… actually… just before.” He's beaming, proud. “They learn to snap the band at the earliest hint they'll lose control. It's operant conditioning.”A kid having a meltdown on Aisle 3. Likely overwhelmed by sensory overload.Let's just add a little sharp pain… and see what happens…As if by giving it some science-y name… it's not self-inflicted torture.Brief CBT BackgroundCognitive Behavioral Therapy emerged in the 60s. A kind of forced marriage. Between Beck's cognitive therapy… focused on internal thoughts. And Skinner's behavioral therapy… focused on observable behavior. Both developed studying neurotypical minds.Change your thoughts, change your feelings, change your behavior… change your life. Simple, right?Unless your brain doesn't work that way…Sometimes…? Research… Ain't.How could COGNITIVE Behavioral Therapy not be inappropriate for autistics?Research Problem #1. It's based on studying neurotypical populations. But we autistics think differently by definition.Problem #2? For the foundational studies, CBT researchers used white, university student subjects… for the most part. They're easy and cheap to find. But maybe 3% are autistic? Maybe? ALL with decent IQs and functioning student skills… even the few autistic subjects?And Problem #3 is a doozy. Many autistics survive by people-pleasing. Kids and grownups. We're likely to mask our true experiences to appear "better"... or please therapists. Plus we may have trouble perceiving and communicating our own experience. Self-reported data might not reflect our reality.,Then there's one that's rarely discussed. Problem #4… the "waitlist relief effect." Most neurodivergent folks endure months or years waiting for therapy, suffering intensely. When we finally get accepted into therapy? There's overwhelming relief… elevating our mood and behavior. Which distorts everything a therapist will hear.We may dial up our masking. Cuz we're scared shitless we'll lose this lifeline.Meanwhile, researchers publish, buff their nails…. and attribute any self-reported improvement as proof their technique works.,The Cognitive Part…? A Stopper.Substitute "executive functioning" for "cognitive." As in the thing they say is largely missing from my autistic forebrain.The entire technique? One cognitive process after another.. First you must notice. Then you must reflect.Then decide.Then review.Then judge context.Then review…Finally… Act.Then regret.Let that sink in. All of cognitive therapy is about monitoring individual thoughts for "cognitive errors." Then replacing them with correct ones.Hundreds of decisions, distinctions, social cue processings. Executive functioning. A process that NEVER became automatic for me. As clinician after clinician cheerfully reassured me it would.Many autistic individuals have memory differences. Working memory differences that make it nearly impossible to hold the kind of information cognitive work requires. Much less manipulate it on the fly…Now… About Behavior.Now, the "Behavioral" part of CBT? The Skinnerian special sauce?Rewards… and punishments… for the action you choose. Hoping you'll build automatic, correct responses.Basically rat training. If you shock me enough times. Sure. I won't go through that door. AND I will struggle mightily to only have an internal stroke... rather than an external meltdown.But the researcher... or teacher... gets to check the box, "Cured." Cuz we're no longer a nuisance to them. And we continue to quietly die. Invisibly. Politely...Inside.That kind of aversion... to fear or pain? True for every living thing at an evolutionary level above a paramecium.Like rats. Or kids. Cuz... FEAR works. PAIN works. Just not the way they think.These Practical Implementation Failures…Should sound pretty familiar. To autistic folks. Keenly aware of the nightmare effort Autistic Masking demands around Straight Society.So, look, we know masking doesn't work. Or fear. Or PAIN. We're dying from them already.That's all the words we need.Add to this our difficulty forming new habits, maintaining routines, and processing cognitive information differently. Under stress… which therapy itself can induce… we often revert to previous behaviors. Any “improvements” from “techniques”? Not bloody likely they're ingrained as permanent muscle memory.Requiring frequent refresher sessions to maintain the illusion of change… and progress.As one commenter wrote: "To me, CBT has always felt inherently surface-level. It's like closing a few tabs on your browser as opposed to doing a factory reset."Biggest problem of all? Neurodivergent Diversity.Autistic, ADHD, AuDHD, dyslexic, dyspraxic… all different cognitive profiles.Sure, we're all different from the typical population. But an autistic who also experiences ADHD thinks and acts differently than a dyslexic one. At least to my trained observation. I was a mental health social worker for 10 years…Despite these complexities… Maybe because it is complex… It seems to me that CBT treats us all as if we're standard-model humans. With a few bugs to fix.We require GENERATIONAL studies of representative populations to sort this spaghetti pile out. Before we should be recommending these techniques.On living humans. Adults. And especially kids.ABA and Its Relatives: An Even Deeper Hole.Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) deserves special mention. It's the behavioral therapy most parents hear about in grammar schools.What most don't know? ABA shares roots with debunked, torturous gay Conversion Therapy. Outlawed in many states. Both were developed by O. Ivar Lovaas in the 60s.Both aim to eliminate "undesirable" behaviors. Using “aversive” techniques. From snapping rubber bands in the nice clinics. To cattle prods in the not-so-nice facilities.Punishing and suppressing behaviors that are natural to our nervous systems. Behaviors that protect us from a society not built for us.ABA may have volumes of "data." But it's all shaped by behaviors researchers and parents want, not what autistic children or adults need. The outcomes measured? Eye contact. Sitting still. Verbal responses. Not internal autistic wellbeing.It's important to understand one simple point. Data is not science.How you frame your research or experiment How you gather your data How you choose how many subjects and whom When you choose to gather data How you interpret your data How you present your dataAll impact its validity and value. ABA and all its camouflaged cousins fall down on this core scientific truth.Bottom line? When former ABA children grow up, many report trauma. PTSD. Anxiety. Depression. Self-harm.ConclusionFuck #ABA. Fuck #CBT.Everybody in the therapeutic-industrial complex from clinic receptionist to billionaire pharmaceutical CEO makes money. From your kid's pain. Caused by treatments that don't address neurodivergent needs. As far as I… and better-known neurodiversity-affirming authorities… can tell.Strong words? Yes. Because minds… and lives… are at stake.We need therapies that work WITH our neurology, not against it. That build on our strengths instead of calling us coolly, professionally, pathologizing names.In Part 3, we'll really bring this all home. How labeling our intrinsic differences as disease is about as anti-therapeutic as you can get.We'll explore "PDA… Not Every Difference Is a Disease." And really raise a ruckus.OutroFor your deeper diving pleasure, the transcript contains references and footnotes for most points I raise. From a variety of views.Hey, don't forget, you can download Part 1, “Autistic Resilience.” Or download both parts as one file.More coming in this series exploring how neurodivergent folks can build sustainable, authentic lives… with or without professional intervention. With 2 more parts coming…AutisticAF Out Loud podcast is supported solely by listeners like you. If you have a friend or family member touched by neurodiversity? Why not turn them on to us with a quick email?By the way, we believe no one should have to pay to be autistic. Many neurodivergent people can't afford subscription content.Your Ko-Fi tip of any amount helps keep this resource free for them. Or join our paid subscriber community at johnnyprofaneknapp.substack.com for ongoing support. I put both links in description.References & Further Reading1: Ableist: Discriminating against people with disabilities by assuming everyone's mind and body work the same way. Like designing a world only for the "standard model human" and then blaming us when we can't navigate it.2: Operant conditioning: A learning process in which behavior is shaped by rewards or punishments.3: Beck, A. T. (1979). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. Penguin.4: Bottema-Beutel, K., & Crowley, S. (2021). Pervasive Undisclosed Conflicts of Interest in Applied Behavior Analysis Autism Literature. Frontiers in Psychology, 12.5: Cage, E., Di Monaco, J., & Newell, V. (2018). Experiences of Autism Acceptance and Mental Health in Autistic Adults. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 48(2), 473-484.6: Masking: The act of concealing one's autistic traits to fit in or avoid negative attention.7: Meta-analyses show that waitlist control groups often overestimate the effect sizes of psychotherapies for depression and anxiety, and that changes occurring during waitlist periods are typically small, making waitlist-controlled trials a less strict test of effectiveness.Cuijpers, P., Karyotaki, E., Reijnders, M., Purgato, M., de Wit, L., Ebert, D. D., ... & Furukawa, T. A. (2024). Overestimation of the effect sizes of psychotherapies for depression in waitlist-controlled trials: a meta-analytic comparison with usual care controlled trials. Epidemiology and Psychiatric Sciences, 33, e10.8: Patterson, B., Boyle, M. H., Kivlenieks, M., & Van Ameringen, M. (2016). The use of waitlists as control conditions in anxiety disorders research. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 41, 56-64.9: Boucher, J., Mayes, A., & Bigham, S. (2012). Memory in autistic spectrum disorder. Psychological Bulletin, 138(3), 458-496.10: Happé, F., & Frith, U. (2006). The weak coherence account: detail-focused cognitive style in autism spectrum disorders. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 36(1), 5-25.11: Rekers, G. A., & Lovaas, O. I. (1974). Behavioral treatment of deviant sex-role behaviors in a male child. Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis, 7(2), 173–190.See also: El Dewar (2024), "ABA: The Neuro-Normative Conversion Therapy," NDConnection; and the Lovaas Institute's 2024 statement regarding conversion therapy.12: Sandoval-Norton, A. H., & Shkedy, G. (2019). How much compliance is too much compliance: Is long-term ABA therapy abuse? Cogent Psychology, 6(1).13: McGill, O., & Robinson, A. (2020). "Recalling hidden harms": Autistic experiences of childhood Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA). Advances in Autism, ahead-of-print.14: Xie, Y., Zhang, Y., Li, Y., et al. (2021). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Autism Spectrum Disorders: A Systematic Review. Pediatrics, 147(5), e2020049880.81015: Weston, L., Hodgekins, J., & Langdon, P. E. (2016). Effectiveness of cognitive behavioural therapy with people who have autistic spectrum disorders: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, 49, 41-54.16: Miguel, C., Harrer, M., Cuijpers, P., et al. (2025). Self-reports vs clinician ratings of efficacies of psychotherapies for depression: a meta-analysis. Epidemiology and Psychiatric Sciences, 34, e9.Note: Links are provided for reference only. Views expressed may differ from my own experiences and observations. Sources affiliated with Autism Speaks are controversial in the neurodiversity community. Their research may be included for completeness. But perhaps be cautious.#AutisticAF Out Loud Newsletter is a reader-supported publication. Click below to receive new posts… free. To support my work, consider becoming a paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit johnnyprofaneknapp.substack.com/subscribe

It's Witness Wednesday! Todd Friel is at Georgia Tech where he talks with four students about Christianity, repentance, the significance of Easter, and the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Throughout the episode, Todd emphasizes the importance of the gospel, the need for forgiveness, and the role of Jesus Christ in salvation. Segment 1: • Student claims to believe in Easter but doesn't know why the resurrection matters. • Admits he's never really examined Christianity or the reason for Jesus' death. • Politely disengages without much spiritual interest. Segment 2: • Student who is from Maryland was raised Christian but avoids saying Jesus is the only way. • Hesitant to call other religions false, even while affirming Christianity for himself. • Struggles to boldly proclaim gospel exclusivity despite claiming personal faith. Segment 3: • Yoni proudly identifies as practicing Jew but admits breaking God's laws. • Rejects the idea of needing a Messiah, preferring personal responsibility for his sin. • Hears how Old Testament sacrifices point to Jesus, but remains unconvinced. Segment 4: • Rex boldly affirms Jesus as Lord but initially struggles to explain why. • Learns how the law exposes sin and why people need forgiveness, not just a better life. • Gets coached on using the Ten Commandments to make the gospel urgent and personal. ___ Thanks for listening! Wretched Radio would not be possible without the financial support of our Gospel Partners. If you would like to support Wretched Radio we would be extremely grateful. VISIT https://fortisinstitute.org/donate/ If you are already a Gospel Partner we couldn't be more thankful for you if we tried!

Today, we are continuing our Assertiveness Series, and we'll focus on something very important: how to say "no" in English without feeling guilty. Hi! I'm Georgiana, and I'm back with a new episode of the Speak English Now podcast—the podcast that helps you speak English fluently, with no grammar and no textbooks. Before we start, get the transcript at SpeakEnglishPodcast.com/podcast

It's Text Roulette! Ask anything by texting your anonymous questions to 414-432-1099!

It's Text Roulette! Ask anything by texting your anonymous questions to 414-432-1099!

It's fair to say I've developed something of an obsession with Theakston's Old Peculier. Ever since deputy ed. Katie Mather and I sat down and had a couple of pints in Manchester's The Salisbury a year or so ago, it's become a cornerstone of my drinking habits. Katie went on to write a very fine profile of this majestic beer, and following that the brewery reached out and invited me to the brewery for a tour. Politely, I asked if, while there, I'd be able to record an interview with its former managing director, now chair, Simon Theakston. His wing of the family acquired the brewery from previous owners Heineken in 2003, bringing it back under family control for the first time since 1987. Simon and his brothers share the same grandfather as would-be heir, Paul Theakston, who in 1993, seemingly in defiance at his family brewery's loss of independence, founded Black Sheep Brewery (which has now entered its own tumultuous phase.)To my delight, they agreed, but getting to the brewery itself was an issue. I don't drive, and the market town of Masham, North Yorkshire, where the brewery is located, is a fair way from the nearest train station. Thankfully the brewery found a solution. Current MD Richard Bradbury offered to pick me up from Sheffield station, as he commuted to work from his home in Derbyshire. This gave me a great opportunity to chat to Richard about his own background—how his career started at Bank's in his home of Wolverhampton, and how he worked on various Heineken brands before landing the role at Theakstons—during the drive over. Richard also kindly agreed to sit in on the podcast, and he shares some useful perspective within.What was most interesting about meeting and chatting to Simon himself, was explaining to him my aims and intent, and what Pellicle is all about. He seemed genuinely thrilled that our young magazine is so dedicated towards the coverage of cask beer, and afterwards kindly allowed me to ask questions at will—including, yes, about beer duty and the Small Brewers Duty Reform Coalition (SBDRC). Simon also gave me an in depth tour of the brewery, including a look at its vintage (and that's an understatement) grain mill, and the famous Steel's masher that helps contribute towards the unique character of Theakston's ales. My favourite part of the tour—other than when Simon poured me a pint of Old Peculier from the wood—was the fermentation room. Here in this corridor lined with open Yorkshire squares, the unmistakable aroma of Old Peculier was at its most potent. I also got to have a peek inside the cooperage, where in house journeyman cooper Euan Findlay builds the very casks that dispense this hallowed beer. During the interview we get into all the good stuff, including the history of the brewery, and its current objectives as an old brewery in a very different market. We also dig into a bit of beer politics. It's a very satisfying conversation, and one I hope you enjoy as much as I have done cutting it together. If you do enjoy this episode, do consider leaving the podcast a rating or review in the app you use to stream it, and sharing it with any friends who you think might find it interesting. We're able to produce The Pellicle Podcast directly thanks to our Patreon subscribers, and our sponsors Loughran Brewers Select. If you're enjoying this podcast, or the weekly articles we publish, please consider taking out a monthly subscription for less than the price of a pint a month.

Emails, Who Sucks Less is back! Plus Headlines Mike is NOT working on and the Shot of the Day!

Matt Spiegel and Laurence Holmes discussed Bengals star defensive end Trey Hendrickson's contract dispute with the team.

The buyer is King.  This is a very common concept in modern Western economies.  We construct our service approach around this idea and try to keep elevating our engagement with royalty. After living in Japan for 36 years and selling to a broad range of industries, I have found in Japan, the buyer is not King. In Nippon the buyer is God. This difference unleashes a whole raft of difficulties and problems. My perspective is based on an amalgam of experiences over many decades and I am generalising of course. Not every buyer in Japan is the same, but those foreigners who know Japan will be nodding their heads in agreement. The most intelligent sales approach the West has come up with is “consultative sales”.  This basic term gets bandied about, in different ways and at different times, but the fundamental concept is to uncover the buyer's needs through asking insightful questions and then determine if you can satisfy that need or not.  By definition, if you use this methodology, you are intelligent.  If you were going to sell to buyers from the world's third largest economy, where 50% of young people are University educated and is known for its advanced technology, then intelligent consultative selling is bound to be your “go to” model.  You will fail because GOD doesn't approve of your funky Western ways. Pitch Momentum Predominates In Japan In Japan, GOD expects a pitchfest.  GOD does not brook questions from low life salespeople.  Instead give your pitch, put it up, so that the buyer can slam closed the two barrels on the shotgun and then blast your pitch to pieces.  Japan is a very conservative business climate where failure is not accepted and mistakes are not allowed.  The Western CFO sharpening the pencil and working out that a 5% defect rate is the most profitable construct, will get a big bonus and a promotion.  Going to a zero defect rate is deemed too expensive and unnecessary.  GOD doesn't accept any defects or mistakes in Japan and to achieve that the science of risk aversion has been taken to the ultimate heights of human possibility. The Japanese buyer wants to hear your pitch, then viciously attack it to satisfy themselves that they are eliminating any possibility of future problems from this supplier.  I was working with a company exporting bark to Japan as part of the gardening boom.  It had to be clean - no pebbles, sand or twigs, just pure bark.  The foreign supplier breezily rang to tell me the shipment had missed the boat, but “no problems, it will be on the next one”.  GOD was apoplectic.  Storage costs in Japan are expensive, so the “just in time” idea of holding little in the way of stock and delivering at the right moment, is well accepted.  Our buyer had just burned all of his buyers down the food chain, because the foreign supplier had missed the boat.  The Japanese buyer's trust, built up over many years with his client base, had been broken. In Japan that trust is almost impossible to rebuild. You Need A GOD Approving Credibility Statement Pitching is a daft idea.  How on earth do you know what to pitch?  Imagine your favourite colour was blue and I turn up to sell you my awesome range of pink.  I am warbling away like a morning lark about the wonder of my pink and you haven't the slightest interest, because you want blue.  If I had asked you a question about your colour preferences, then knowing you wanted blue, I would have only spoken about our range in blue. This is pretty simple.  So, why don't Japanese salespeople ask GOD some questions about what is needed?  Well GOD is a deity too high for that type of inappropriate familiarity and base rudeness.  Consequently, everyone is pitching into the void.  The cunning antidote to this GOD induced pitch problem is to have a well crafted credibility statement.  For example, “We are experts in soft skills training for adult learners.  We recently helped a client's Tokyo leadership team raise their Japanese staff engagement scores by 30% and their New York headquarters was very happy to see that rapid improvement.  Maybe we could do the same thing for you.  I have no idea if that is possible or not, but if you would allow me to ask a few questions, I will soon know if it is a viable option or not”. Switch From The Pitch To Consultative Sales Once GOD acquiesces and allows us to ask questions, then we are out of the pitch business and now immersed in the consultative sales flow.  When asked this way GOD does allow questions in most cases.  Sometimes we will get a stern GOD who says “just give me your pitch”.  We comply because you cannot deny GOD, but mentally we know we should down the lukewarm, cheap, bitter green tea and head for the door, because there won't be any sale here today. Knowing what a client needs is the key enabler to craft a sales presentation tailored to that particular buyer which resonates, excites and satisfies.  GOD just needs some nudging to get religion about consultative sales.  When you have your next sales meeting with a Japanese buyer, mentally picture you are sitting down with GOD and act accordingly.  Be comfortable with formality, silence, hierarchy and sit up straight.  Politely pull the velvet curtain back on your beautifully polished and well practiced credibility statement and wait for “yes, you may ask me some questions”.  Don't say one word after you ask your question, even if it is killing you.  Sit there in silence until you get an answer.  GOD likes to think about it and is in no hurry.    

Saying no can feel uncomfortable—especially at work.You want to be helpful. You don't want to let your team down. But here's the truth: saying no doesn't make you rude—it makes you clear.In this episode, you'll learn how to say nee in Luxembourgish using a simple 3-step framework that works in both professional and personal situations.No over-explaining. No guilt. Just polite and respectful boundaries.Whether you're navigating a busy schedule or managing expectations, this episode will help you say nee with confidence and kindness.Let's talk about how we can improve your Luxembourgish together.

Locals Guide Todays National Day Secret Sound & Clue Kempsey Show News Shereeader On This Day Mr Mayor Adam Roberts Katy Lee From Port City Bowling Club See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In another disturbing case of women's safety being not at all a priority, a man in Minneapolis turned images of some 80 women he sort-of-but-not-really-knew into graphic p*rn. When his WIFE found out, he fled town with his laptop in hand, probably to infiltrate a new town with his predator ways. Police threw their hands up and said, "Uh, we don't know what you want us to do. Is this illegal?" Turns out, it is and it isn't. One of the victims talks to Toxic about how she's using her law background to help make sure future women get the justice they deserve against gross men who can't literally make everything in the world about getting off.  We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at ToxicThePodcast.com and share your story. If you're experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through DomesticShelters.org. Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your Lyft driver, or even the person next to you in line at your next protest for women's rights. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and please leave us a [nice] review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories. Together, we can create change.

In this episode we're joined by Fah and Amanda. Fah runs the Thai in the Thai Language challenge and has plenty to teach us about learning and speaking Thai. Amanda is Georgian-born and Russian-raised, but spent the last several years in Hong Kong before moving to Thailand. Amanda currently works as a model and actress in various projects, and is working hard to learn the Thai language as well.

After being 'coerced' to attend a gathering she didn't really want to go to, Stacey Norman was left with a question that just wouldn't leave. "What if you just don't enjoy someone's company? Like, not because they're terrible, but because you just don't vibe?" J Sbu came to the rescue by asking the people of KZN what they would do in this situation. Here's what YOU had to say.

learn how to refuse politely

Politely BuzzedDoe's Eat Place in Baton Rouge has carved out a special spot in the city's food culture, offering perfectly aged, hand-cut steaks that feel like an indulgence wrapped in Southern hospitality. The original restaurant, founded in 1941 by Doe and Mamie Signa in Greenville, Mississippi, started as a humble honky-tonk and grew into a legend for its unforgettable flavors. In Baton Rouge, owners Theresa Overby and Scott Overby, along with Chef Brian Septs, continue that legacy with a mix of culinary expertise and a deep love for the city, making Doe's a go-to destination for food lovers seeking a slice of tradition with a local twist. For all things Doe's BR, go to www.doesbatonrouge.comListen. Subscribe. Share.The Eat the Boot Podcast is sponsored by Cheba Hut Toasted Subs in Baton Rouge and features music from Louisiana based singer/songwriter, Adam Dale, from the album “Shadowtown”.  www.eattheboot.com

#FAA: Politely to SPACEX and Blue Origin. Bob Zimmerman BehindtheBlack.com 1877 Jules Verne

When it comes to breakups, the no-contact rule is one of the most powerful tools you can use to heal, regain your confidence, and, in some cases, increase the chances of reconciliation. However, your ex may not make it easy for you to stay silent. Even if they ended the relationship, they might use subtle (and not-so-subtle) tricks to get you to reach out first. Understanding these tactics and why they use them can help you stay strong and avoid falling into their trap. Here are some common tricks your ex might use to make you break no contact and why you should resist them. Get Coach Lee's $7 Reunion Blueprint at https://ReunionBlueprint.com 1. Subtle Gestures That Seem Meaningful Your ex might send you a message, gift, or even a photo that reminds you of your time together. For example, they could send you a picture of a place you both loved or a song that held special meaning during your relationship. These actions are designed to evoke nostalgia and emotional vulnerability, making you feel compelled to respond. While these gestures may seem thoughtful, they're often an attempt to gauge whether you still care or to prompt you to make the first move. Unless their communication is clear and direct about wanting to reconcile, resist the urge to respond. 2. Emotional Social Media Posts Social media is a favorite tool for many exes trying to break no contact. They might post vague or emotional updates, such as, “Breakups are harder than I thought” or “I just wish things could go back to the way they were.” These posts can make you wonder if they're missing you or regretting the breakup. It's important to remember that these posts might not mean what you think they do. They could be fishing for validation or trying to get a reaction from you without having to directly reach out. Don't let their public displays lure you into breaking no contact. 3. Orchestrating "Accidental" Encounters Some exes will go out of their way to bump into you. They might show up at your favorite coffee shop, join a mutual friend's gathering they know you'll attend, or even walk by your workplace. These encounters are rarely as accidental as they seem. The goal of these situations is often to remind you of their presence or to create an opportunity for conversation without them having to take the emotional risk of reaching out directly. If you notice this happening, remain polite but brief, and don't let the interaction escalate into a deeper conversation. 4. Using Mutual Friends as Messengers Exes may involve mutual friends to get updates about you or to pass along messages. They might ask your friends how you're doing, whether you're seeing anyone new, or even tell them to “say hi” for them. This tactic allows them to test the waters without putting themselves in a vulnerable position. If you hear from a mutual friend that your ex has been asking about you, stay strong and stick to your boundaries. Politely let your friends know that you're focusing on yourself and prefer not to discuss your ex. Get Coach Lee's $7 Reunion Blueprint at https://ReunionBlueprint.com 5. Feigning a Crisis or Need for Help Another tactic is creating a sense of urgency or crisis. They might claim they need your advice, help with a personal problem, or assistance with something they know you're good at. This tactic plays on your empathy and the bond you once shared, making it harder for you to ignore them. While it's natural to want to help someone you care about, consider whether their request is genuine or just a way to break no contact. Unless it's a true emergency, maintain your boundaries. 6. Offering Friendship Instead of Reconciliation Your ex might reach out to suggest staying friends. While this can sound innocent or even considerate, it's often a way to keep you in their life without committing to a romantic relationship. Accepting friendship when you want more can be emotionally painful and prevent you from fully moving on. As tempting as it might be to remain connected, settling for a “lowball” offer of friendship when you want romance will only prolong your heartache. Politely decline and focus on your own healing. 7. Testing the Waters with Small Gestures Your ex might send a brief text like “How are you?” or react to one of your social media posts to see how you respond. These actions are often more about satisfying their curiosity or ego than a genuine desire to reconnect. If their message doesn't clearly indicate a desire to reconcile, it's best to ignore it. Responding only gives them the validation they're seeking without addressing your deeper needs. Why You Should Stay Strong Breaking no contact can feel satisfying in the moment, especially if you've been missing your ex. However, it often leads to more heartache and confusion. When you break no contact in response to their tricks, you give away your power and diminish your value in their eyes. If your ex truly wants to reconcile, they need to take the initiative, make a clear effort, and show they're ready to commit. Anything less is likely to result in more pain and an uneven dynamic. Conclusion Recognizing the tricks your ex might use to make you break no contact is essential for maintaining your emotional strength and self-respect. Whether it's subtle gestures, social media posts, or orchestrated encounters, their actions are often more about fulfilling their needs than addressing yours. Stay strong, focus on your own growth, and trust that if reconciliation is meant to happen, it will come from genuine effort on their part. In the meantime, protecting your peace and dignity should remain your top priority. Get Coach Lee's $7 Reunion Blueprint at https://ReunionBlueprint.com

This week our "politely pushy" PR agency celebrates its 10th anniversary with a special episode featuring industry leaders and long-time collaborators. The episode showcases the agency's journey from its founding to becoming a powerhouse in the PR world.Guests include: Curtis Sparrer, Bospar's Principal and co-founder, who reflects on the agency's unique approach. Priti Khare, Bospar's first client and Founder at Storyboard Consulting, praises the agency's stellar team. Anuj Nayar, a Senior Communications & Brand Executive, highlights Bospar's commitment to pushing boundaries. This episode also features Caitlin Cassady, VP of Marketing at Beyond, offering insights into Bospar's impact on the industry. Since its founding in 2015, Bospar has evolved into a powerhouse agency, accumulating an impressive 216 awards for creativity, innovation, and business excellence. This anniversary podcast celebrates Bospar's decade of redefining PR through innovation, talent, and a unique "politely pushy" approach! Stay updated with our guests! Curtis SparrerPriti KhareAnuj NayarCaitlin Cassady

Saying no can be tricky, especially if you're trying to sound polite and respectful in English. In this video, I'll teach you useful phrases and strategies for politely refusing, turning down offers, or saying no without offending anyone. What You'll Learn: Phrases to politely refuse invitations, requests, or offers Tips for sounding confident yet respectful Real-life examples to help you practice Visit https://englishwithkayla.com/ to upgrade your English conversations with my new six-week conversation course //JOIN MY EMAIL LIST https://englishvocabularyhelp.com/join-my-email-community/ //ENGLISH READING RECOMMENDATIONS (beginner, intermediate, advanced) ✨ https://amzn.to/3H6fZ97  //THE ENGLISH VOCABULARY HELP PODCAST ✨  Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/7was2eefHcQbJQVsV199Gs  ✨ Anchor https://anchor.fm/english-with-kayla  //MY WEBSITE ✨ https://englishwithkayla.com/ //COME SAY HI! ✨  @Englishwithkayla https://www.instagram.com/englishwithkayla/ //CONTACT: ✨ For business inquiries: EMAIL: ENGLISHWITHKAYLA@GMAIL.COM Subscribe to my channel! __________________________ Subscribe to English with Kayla to learn English with Teacher Kayla from the United States. Learn about different English conversation topics each week, and learn many new natural English phrases. Study the American accent, vocabulary, idioms, and phrasal verbs with Kayla. English with Kayla will help you expand your English vocabulary and feel confident to speak in English conversation. I teach English that you will find native English speakers using in their daily vocabulary, not English from a textbook. Subscribe for New Natural English-speaking lessons every week and visit Englishwithkayla.com for more lessons. DISCLAIMER: Links included in this description might be affiliate links. If you purchase a product or service with the links that I provide I may receive a small commission. There is no additional charge to you! Thank you for supporting my channel so I can continue to provide you with free content each week!

Hello lovelies! Thanks for listening! I am taking the rest of 2024 and the beginning of January 2025 off

Saying no to holiday treats is hard enough. Then comes the persistent family and friends saying, “Just one bite won't hurt!”—and suddenly, sticking to your goals feels impossible.You've worked hard to make progress this year. The thought of undoing it all over a few weeks of overindulgence is frustrating, but navigating the holidays without guilt or awkwardness doesn't have to be so overwhelming.In this episode, I'll walk you through:How to handle food pushers with confidenceWays to enjoy your favourite holiday foods without losing controlPractical tips for setting boundaries that feel natural and guilt-freeIf you're ready to take control of your health and start 2025 feeling strong and confident, don't wait—sign up for my January 6th masterclass here: bit.ly/fthemenobelly.0:00 - How to enjoy celebrations while respecting your boundaries without guilt4:40 - Shifting the holiday focus from food to connection and memories7:39 - How to savour treats without overindulging9:00 - It's okay to go for seconds! Practicing mindful eating, recognising fullness cues, and avoiding overindulgence11:18 - How to decline extra servings or drinks with kindness, gratitude, and humour14:36 - Dealing with well-meaning but insistent individuals who encourage overeating15:39 - Setting boundaries to stay present and enjoy the moment guilt-free17:27 - Why letting go of guilt about indulgences benefits you and others19:39 - How saying no protects your well-being and aligns with your health goals20:36 - Kickstart your health goals with a sustainable plan to lose belly fat and build lifelong habits by joining my masterclass

Send us a textAs we know, boundaries are essential for our well-being, but communicating them effectively can be a challenge. Last week on the podcast, I shared the importance of mastering communication to create healthy relationships. As a continuation of that, I wanted to share my tips for how to clearly communicate our boundaries with others. This week's episode 295 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to communicate clearly, honestly, and politelySome of the talking points I go over in this episode include:Boundaries only become more difficult when you wait to set them.Politeness can go a long way in communicating boundaries. Take ownership of your boundaries; be truthful and avoid lying to justify them.Setting a boundary is not something to apologize for - it's your right to protect your needs and boundaries.Establish clear, consistent rules to depersonalize boundaries and make them about you, not the other person.If you're unsure what your boundaries are, take time to pause, gather your thoughts, and communicate your boundaries when you're sure.Offer an alternative or compromise to show your willingness to collaborate. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don't forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Are you putting yourself last? Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out. If so, you're a perfect fit for my 12-week private coaching program!After Participating in Private Coaching with Barb, You'll...*Be able to feel peaceful and calm when setting boundaries*Know how to communicate directly with people*Your feelings will become more "right-sized"*Do things because you really want to do them, not because you feel obligated*Live your life by your own values and feel proud of that*Learn to keep the focus on yourself and still be kind and helpful*Come closer to realizing your authentic identitySign up for a free 30 minute Better Boundaries call with me at this link. https://calendly.com/barb-nangle/better-boundaries-callLINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Ep 294: How to Master Communication, Avoid Conflict, and Create Healthier RelationshipsCONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterFree boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaGet a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery 

Send us a textAs we know, boundaries are essential for our well-being, but communicating them effectively can be a challenge. Last week on the podcast, I shared the importance of mastering communication to create healthy relationships. As a continuation of that, I wanted to share my tips for how to clearly communicate our boundaries with others. This week's episode 295 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to communicate clearly, honestly, and politelySome of the talking points I go over in this episode include:Boundaries only become more difficult when you wait to set them.Politeness can go a long way in communicating boundaries. Take ownership of your boundaries; be truthful and avoid lying to justify them.Setting a boundary is not something to apologize for - it's your right to protect your needs and boundaries.Establish clear, consistent rules to depersonalize boundaries and make them about you, not the other person.If you're unsure what your boundaries are, take time to pause, gather your thoughts, and communicate your boundaries when you're sure.Offer an alternative or compromise to show your willingness to collaborate. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don't forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Are you putting yourself last? Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out. If so, you're a perfect fit for my 12-week private coaching program!After Participating in Private Coaching with Barb, You'll...*Be able to feel peaceful and calm when setting boundaries*Know how to communicate directly with people*Your feelings will become more "right-sized"*Do things because you really want to do them, not because you feel obligated*Live your life by your own values and feel proud of that*Learn to keep the focus on yourself and still be kind and helpful*Come closer to realizing your authentic identitySign up for a free 30 minute Better Boundaries call with me at this link. https://calendly.com/barb-nangle/better-boundaries-callLINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Ep 294: How to Master Communication, Avoid Conflict, and Create Healthier RelationshipsCONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterFree boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaGet a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery 

How To A Girl For Her Phone Number At Work In Public How to Ask a Girl for Her Phone Number at Work in Public Approaching someone you like, especially in a work environment, can be intimidating. However, if handled with respect and tact, it can lead to a great connection. Here's a guide on how to ask a girl for her phone number at work in public without crossing boundaries or making anyone uncomfortable. 1 Gauge the RelationshipBefore you even consider how to ask a girl for her phone number at work in public, assess your current rapport. Do you share friendly conversations, or does she seem reserved around you? A strong foundation of casual interactions makes the request more natural. 2 Choose the Right MomentTiming is everything. Avoid busy or stressful periods at work. Instead, find a relaxed moment, such as during lunch or a break. Ensure the environment is casual and not overly crowded to reduce pressure on both sides. 3 Be Respectful and DirectWhen thinking about how to ask a girl for her phone number at work in public, confidence is key. Politely say something like, “I've really enjoyed our conversations. Would it be okay if we exchanged numbers to stay in touch?” This approach shows genuine interest without being pushy. 4 Respect Her DecisionNot every attempt will result in success, and that's okay. If she declines, graciously accept her answer and continue treating her with respect at work. 5 Maintain ProfessionalismWorkplace dynamics can be delicate. Always ensure your approach aligns with company policies and respects her boundaries. Mastering how to ask a girl for her phone number at work in public requires tact, respect, and emotional intelligence. By keeping these principles in mind, you can make your interest known while maintaining a positive and professional atmosphere.

To view this podcast on YouTube, please go to : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYIXkRp1RScHow to Respond to Negative Google ReviewsIdentify the Negative ReviewLook up the reviewer in your system to verify if they are an actual patient.Determine if there was a mistake on your end that needs to be acknowledged.Crafting Your ResponseIf there was a mistake, admit it and express a commitment to improving.If you disagree with the review, consider different response approaches:Politely invite further discussion to resolve the issue.Politely disagree without specifics due to privacy regulations.Politely wish them well in finding a more suitable provider.In rare cases, respond more assertively while maintaining professionalism.Consider Response PatternsCheck for patterns in negative reviews to address systemic issues in your practice.Respond not just for the reviewer but for potential future patients reading the review.Levels of ResponseDecide on the appropriate level of response, considering legal action for extreme cases.Maintain a professional and non-petty tone in all responses.Importance of RespondingEven if the response is generic, it shows attentiveness to feedback and a commitment to addressing concerns.Demonstrates to potential patients that you take feedback seriously and are proactive in resolving issues.ConclusionResponding to negative reviews is crucial for managing your online reputation.Show professionalism, willingness to address concerns, and a commitment to improving patient experience.Client SpotlightNelsen Dental Excellence - Charlotte, NCWebsite: https://charlottedentist.org/GBP: https://g.co/kgs/7jVYxuVFor 12+ years, Flow New Patient Marketing has had a simple mission… to bring you as many quality new patients as possible. We believe in ensuring that when a potential patient needs a provider, you are the one they find, choose, and set an appointment with. We Get You More *Profitable* New Patients! No long-term contracts. Our clients average an 8X return on investment. Personalized, non-corporate approach. 5-star reviewed. Find us: Website: https://newpatientsflow.com Google: https://g.co/kgs/zqWTc5a Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/newpatientsflow Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/newpatientsflow/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/newpatientsflow

We warned you last month to “Throw Out Your Black Plastic Spatula.” In a recent study conducted about consumer products, researchers concluded kitchen utensils had some of the highest levels of flame retardants, which you do not want anywhere near your hot food. After the article was published, its author received reports, possibly exaggerated, of people in Burlington, Vermont, throwing their black plastic spatulas out en masse. You should too.  That article was just the appetizer. This episode of Radio Atlantic is the entire meal, coming to you in time for Thanksgiving. We talk to its author, staff writer Zoë Schlanger, about every other plastic thing in your kitchen: cutting boards, nonstick pans, plastic wrap, slow cookers, sippy cups. Read it before you cook. And prepare to hassle your plastic-loving hosts. Politely.  --- Share understanding this holiday season. For less than $2 a week, give a year-long Atlantic subscription to someone special. They'll get unlimited access to Atlantic journalism, including magazine issues, narrated articles, puzzles, and more. Give today at TheAtlantic.com/podgift. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

#ITALY: Musk speaks intemperately and the President of Italy answers politely. Lorenzo-Fifori, Milano. 1950 Bologna

Do you feel compelled to say “yes” to food during the holidays when someone offers you something that they made? Does saying “no” feel rude, or like some form of restriction brought on by diet culture?   If you're like I used to be, you wrestle with wanting to say yes to people please, and to prove to yourself that you've broken all of your former dieting food rules. But you also want to be able to say no when you're not hungry for something, or when your body is telling you that it's not going to make you feel good.   With the holidays upon us, you know that Aunt Judy will be at the table telling you to take a piece of her pecan pie that she made just for you because she knows it's your favorite. And your mom will want you to try the new cheese dip she made from a recipe she saw on TikTok.    We're diving into how to politely say “no” when you don't want to eat something, without feeling rude, and without it being diet-y or restrictive. (Spoiler - it starts with making peace with food in the first place.)    If you're ready to make this the holiday season where you let your body lead you, so you can enjoy the foods you want, while also honoring your hunger and fullness, then you need to listen to this episode right now!   Episode Highlights:   -The importance of first having permission to say YES to food (so that saying no doesn't feel like restriction)   -When and how to say NO to food during the holidays   -Scripts for ways you can politely say “no, thank you” and listen to your body when someone offers you food you're not hungry for   Today's Wellness Woo is the Simple app   Resources Mentioned   - Grab my FREE guide Intuitive Eating During the Holidays   Read the full episode show notes here.   Resources for Your Intuitive Eating Journey   Intuitive eating education on the blog Work with Katy Explore the self-paced mini-course Stepping Off The Dieting Rollercoaster     Connect with Katy Harvey   Website: KatyHarvey.net Instagram: @katyharvey.rd Facebook: KatyHarveyRD      Subscribe and Review   Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts   I would be thrilled if you could rate and review my podcast! Your support helps me reach and encourage more people on their intuitive eating journeys. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Don't forget to share what you loved most about the episode!   Also, make sure to follow the podcast if you haven't already done so. Follow now!  

HOUR 3 - A very Canada-esque fight on a golf course Wiggy doesn't want his wife dating if he should meet an untimely demise Curtis is efforting getting the Yankees fan on who messed with Mookie

influencer marketing examples, brand deals for influencers, how to get brand deals as a small influencer, brand deals for small influencers, biggest influencer brand deals, how to reject a collaboration offer politely, influencer brand deal rates, how influencers promote brands, how influencers help brands, how influencers increase brand awareness, how influencers work with brands, how to get brand deals, how to land paid brand deals, brand collab, influencer marketing, saying no to brand deals, influencer tips, the creator economy, how to be an influencer, micro influencer, content creator, influencer marketing tips, influencer marketing strategy, how to get paid brand deals on Instagram, how to pitch to brands, how to reach out to a brand Rejection is never fun, especially in the creator space, but it's a normal part of the process! In today's episode, we're diving deep into how influencers and creators can turn those dreaded "no's" from brands into future opportunities. I'll be sharing tips and strategies to help you understand why rejection isn't personal and how you can refine your pitching to land those paid brand deals.

learn how to decline an invitation and give reasons for doing so with this video conversation

U.S. vice-presidential candidates J.D. Vance and Tim Walz had a civilized and at times even cordial debate Tuesday, in stark contrast to when Donald Trump faced off against Kamala Harris last month. What does the debate tell us about the remaining month of this campaign?

Do we have your permission to share this episode of Screaming in the Cloud with you? Sonrai CTO and Co-Founder Sandy Bird is back on the show to help Corey break down the woes that come with granting permissions in the world of cloud security. As they catch up, the pair touch base on how automation can create major headaches, what goes into navigating the minefield of granting permissions, and if the future of adoption patterns is as grim as Corey predicts. Sandy also answers one of Corey's long-time questions: how do you pronounce “Sonrai?” Who knows? Maybe Corey will finally learn how to say it properly...Show Highlights:(0:00) Intro(0:30) Breaking down Sonrai's name(1:45) Sonrai sponsor read(2:25) Getting alerts vs. fixing the root of the problem(4:50) The problems with granting permissions(7:34) The dangers of automating permissions(10:10) "Where do I make this change, and how do I enforce it?" (13:46) The security concerns that come with tagging automation(16:12) Sonrai sponsor read(16:53)  Properly deploying permissions access(21:16) Woes of running reporting in the middle of the night(23:21) Are adoption patterns getting worse?(29:01) Where you can find more from Sonrai SecurityAbout Sandy BirdSandy Bird is the co-founder and CTO of Sonrai Security, helping enterprises protect their data by securing cloud identities and access. Sandy was the co-founder and CTO of Q1 Labs, which was acquired by IBM in 2011. At IBM, Sandy became the CTO for the global security business and worked closely with research, development, marketing and sales to develop new and innovative solutions to help the IBM Security business grow to ~$2B in annual revenue. He is a trusted and experienced cloud security expert., Sandy Bird is the co-founder and CTO of Sonrai Security, helping enterprises protect their data by securing cloud identities and access. Sandy was the co-founder and CTO of Q1 Labs, which was acquired by IBM in 2011. At IBM, Sandy became the CTO for the global security business and worked closely with research, development, marketing and sales to develop new and innovative solutions to help the IBM Security business grow to ~$2B in annual revenue. He is a trusted and experienced cloud security expert.LinksSonrai Security: https://sonraisecurity.com/Sonrai Security free trial: https://sonraisecurity.com/trial/Sonrai Security demos: https://sonraisecurity.com/demo/Sonrai Security learning resources: https://sonraisecurity.com/resource-library/Sonrai Security blog: https://sonraisecurity.com/blog/Sonrai Security ACCESS Virtual Summit: sonrai.co/access-on-demandSponsorSonrai Security: https://sonraisecurity.com/

How To Say No Politely Hanuman - Mainaka Toronto Scarborough Chaitanya Charan 4.5.24 by Exploring mindfulness, yoga and spirituality

today we discuss clients... the good, the bad, and the ones kel can't talk about because they signed one million NDAs... LOL!! hope you enjoy this week's kelliot it's a LONG ONE MATE!NEW: the kelliot song of the weekvideo version on YouTube if you like your podcasts that way :)patreon coming soon w bonus eps... new eps weekly 9am Mondays PST... we've got it under control mate...!give us a 5 star rating on spotify if you'd like! https://open.spotify.com/show/5VvMRGHmogc50BFGhtrZmQfollow us on insta for more content https://www.instagram.com/kelliotpod/

Anika and Liz attempt to change the timeline so Paramount never dropped Prodigy and we got to enjoy each episode week by week … but alas, we did not pay attention in Temporal Mechanics 101.  We're discussing Star Trek: Prodigy's "Who Saves the Saviors", including… Rok-Tahk knows when to keep her mouth shut and when to tattle, and also has done nothing wrong (ever, in her entire life) Dal has never watched Star Trek and isn't about to start now We have conflicting feelings about birds, and Liz drops some Doctor Who lore Tysses and Noum are the Married Mean Gays that Star Trek has needed for eternity. Yes, we just made that up. But it's canon in our hearts. And we would subscribe to their podcast. This isn't even the first time Chakotay has abandoned a bunch of kids in the Delta Quadrant! Why is everyone so determined to put Janeway and Chakotay in parental roles when it's clear they would both be very bad at it? Jankom represents some of Star Trek's best disability rep ever Janeway is deeply flawed, and that's good writing

Send Us Fan Mail!This summer we are doing a series called Mindset Camp. It will be made up of mostly simple, thought-provoking episodes to give you something short + sweet to take action on right away!Today is Episode 5 of that series.Do you catch yourself saying yes…when you'd really rather say no?Does saying no make you feel icky or selfish? If this feels familiar, this episode is for you.In this short episode, part of our summer series, Mindset Camp, you'll learn how to say no politely, with love, and in a way that respects your boundaries and is respectful to everyone.In this bite-sized episode, you'll discover:A new mindset view about the word NOThe biggest benefit to honoring the word NO that you may not have thought ofA journaling prompt that will help you discover the areas in your life where saying NO is can be used to honor BOTH partiesLearning to say no politely, with loving energy, is an essential life skill that helps you stay aligned with your commitments and values.Give this episode a listen and end the resentment of saying yes when you really want to say no. Gain the freedom and lose the guilt as you learn to say no politely, with love.Enjoy!Learn more about Carla:  https:/www.carlareeves.com/Connect on LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/reevescarla/Connect on Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/carlasreevesaz/Explore Coaching with Carla:  https://bookme.name/carlareeves/lite/explore-coachingIf you enjoyed this episode, be sure to share it with a friend. A free way to support our show is by leaving a five-star rating and review on your favorite podcast player. It's a chance to tell us what you love about the show and it helps others discover it, too. Thank you for listening!

Today, Shannon and Nikki Rausch dive deep into the art of sales conversations that convert. In today's episode, Shannon and Nikki explore insightful strategies to make your sales process more efficient and client-friendly, emphasize the importance of not making assumptions about your customer's willingness to invest, and discuss the true value of authentic, genuine interactions in sales.   CEO of Sales Maven, Nikki Rausch has the unique ability to transform the misunderstood process of “selling”.   With 25+ years of selling experience, entrepreneurs and small business owners now hire Nikki to show them how to sell successfully and authentically. Nikki has written 3 books, all available on Amazon. And she has a podcast called Sales Maven, which you can find on your favorite podcast platform.   Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/yoursalesmaven/  Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/your_sales_maven/  Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicolerausch Free E-book - https://yoursalesmaven.com/keep    What you'll hear in this episode: 09:54 Social proof reduces risk and builds trust. 14:02 Maintain rapport by making constant positive deposits. 18:00 Establish powerful first impression and create curiosity. 20:16 Using cat calling energy to engage others. 24:14 Ask smart questions, then propose a solution. 27:14 Embrace taking money on sales calls confidently. 28:56 Politely suggesting commitment before asking for money. 32:04 Perception of price varies based on values.   If you like this episode, check out: How to Integrate Business Development Into Habits Investing in Businesses - What You Need to Know Blue Oceans are All Around Us   Want to learn more so you can earn more? CFO On Demand click here Visit keepwhatyouearn.com to dive deeper on our episodes Visit keepwhatyouearncfo.com to work with Shannon and her team Watch this episode and more here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMlIuZsrllp1Uc_MlhriLvQ Connect with Shannon on IG: https://www.instagram.com/shannonkweinstein/   The information contained in this podcast is intended for educational purposes only and is not individual tax advice. Please consult a qualified professional before implementing anything you learn.

How to stay calm and maintain your integrity when handling challenging coworkers? Discover effective strategies to handle challenging colleagues without losing your sense of self. In this episode we explore real-life examples that will help you manage conflict, maintain professionalism, and stay true to yourself. From dealing with exclusionary tactics to addressing condescending behavior, this episode offers actionable advice to transform your work experience. Tune in to this episode to discover: ✔️ How to effectively manage conflict with coworkers through real-life examples. ✔️ Strategies for dealing with colleagues who withhold information and exclude you from important meetings. ✔️ Techniques for handling condescending colleagues who doubt your capabilities. ✔️ Tips for managing interruptions and attempts to discredit you in front of others. ✔️ Ways to cope when workplace clashes make you feel like quitting. ✔️ Approaches to handling colleagues who refuse to work with you due to gender bias.   ✅ Listen on the Speak Your Mind Unapologetically podcast on Apple Itunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/speak-your-mind-unapologetically-podcast/id1623647915      ✅ Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6L1myPkiJXYf5SGrublYz2   ✅ Order our book, ‘Unapologetic Voice: 101 Real-World Strategies for Brave Self Advocacy & Bold Leadership' where each strategy is also a real story: https://www.amazon.com/Unapologetic-Voice-Real-World-Strategies-Leadership-ebook/dp/B0CW2X4WWL/   ✅ Follow the show host, Ivna Curi, on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ivna-curi-mba-67083b2/     ✅ Request A Customized Workshop For Your Team And Company:  http://assertiveway.com/workshops   ✅ Other Episodes You'll Like 10 Conflict And Confrontation Myths Debunked 6 Conflict Myths: Lies Teachers Like To Tell About Confrontation Conflict with Courage, Curiosity & Compassion: Making a Difference in Your Life (With Dr. Debra Dupree) How To Get The Upper Hand When A Jerk Disparages You Publicly 5 Steps To Respond To Dismissive Comments   ✅ Free Resources FREE Training & presentation on How To Be Assertive Without Being Rude, Aggressive, or Offensive: https://assertiveway.aweb.page/assertivenotrude  Sign Up for Our Email Newsletter: https://assertiveway.com/newsletter/ Ivna's Unapologetic Voice Stories: https://assertiveway.aweb.page/ivnastories From Rambling To Articulate PDF Guide: https://assertiveway.aweb.page/articulate Podcast episode lists by theme: https://assertiveway.aweb.page/speakyourmindunapologeticallytopics Women in Tech Leaders Podcast Interviews: https://assertiveway.com/womenintechpodcastguests/ Podcast Summaries & More Email Newsletter: https://assertiveway.com/newsletter Our Linkedin Blog Articles:  https://www.linkedin.com/newsletters/6863880009879306240/   TEDx Talk How To Speak Up Safely When It's Psychologically Unsafe: https://assertiveway.aweb.page/safespeak 10 Day free Assertive And Liked Challenge: https://assertiveway.aweb.page/beassertiveandliked Assertiveness free training: https://assertiveway.aweb.page/getahead Other Free resources: https://assertiveway.com/free/ Podcast page: https://assertiveway.com/podcast-speak-your-mind-unapologetically/   ✅ Work With Us Workshops: http://assertiveway.com/workshops   Break The Silence: https://assertiveway.com/communicationculturetransformation/ Services: https://assertiveway.com/offerings Contact me: info@assertiveway.com or ivnacuri@assertiveway.com Contact me on Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ivna-curi-mba-67083b2 Website: https://assertiveway.com   ✅ Support The Podcast Rate the podcast on apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/speak-your-mind-unapologetically-podcast/id1623647915 Ask me your question for the next episode: https://www.speakpipe.com/speakyourmindquestion   Episode Summary: How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers Without Compromising Your Integrity In this episode of the "Speak Your Mind Unapologetically Podcast," we explore various examples of handling difficult coworkers while maintaining your integrity. Here are some real-life examples shared: Withholding Information: If a colleague is withholding information, try speaking directly to them, clearly articulating your needs and the benefits of collaboration. If this doesn't work, consider seeking advice from a third party or involving their manager to help move things forward without appearing to complain. This ensures the problematic individual is aware of the situation but handled professionally. Condescending Comments: When a colleague speaks condescendingly to you, consider inviting them to explain what they would do in your shoes. For instance, if someone says, "You don't know what you're doing," ask them to solve the problem. Often, they'll realize your approach was correct, leading to greater respect and support in future interactions. Questioning Your Role: If someone questions your deservingness of a role, respond by asking them to clarify their concerns. For example, if they say, "I'm not sure why you are here since you don't have X skill," ask questions to help them better articulate their concerns so that you can have a productive conversation. Bias and Growth: If a colleague suggests you won't grow or get ahead due to bias, address it directly. For instance, if they say, "You won't advance here," remember that you have the power to choose what you believe in. Choose not to believe in those who don't believe in you. And commit to win. Gender Bias: If you face gender bias, such as a preference for speaking to a male colleague, address it directly. Politely assert your credibility by stating that they can choose to speak with you or forgo the service. This reinforces your authority and sets clear boundaries. Silenced: When asked to not talk or stay silent by a colleague, try to address it directly with them. State your intention for speaking, reaffirm the relationship, and let them know what changes you expect. You might find out they are going through some personal challenge and get an apology. Clashing Interests: If workplace clashes are impeding your ability to work, seek opinions on how to handle the situation. Escalate the issue if necessary, and don't be afraid to choose your well-being by speaking up over silently enduring toxic environment. Speaking up takes courage but can inspire others watching from the sidelines. Overall, handling difficult colleagues with integrity involves clear communication, assertiveness, and a commitment to maintaining professionalism and self-respect. These approaches not only resolve conflicts but also inspire others and promote a healthier work environment.

Have you ever needed to disagree with someone in English, but weren't sure how exactly to say it? In this episode, I'll share with you several different ways you can (politely) disagree with someone the next time you don't see eye to eye with them

Have you ever needed to disagree with someone in English, but weren't sure how exactly to say it? In this episode, I'll share with you several different ways you can (politely) disagree with someone the next time you don't see eye to eye with them

You let someone borrow some money. They haven't paid you back. Is there any way to *gently* let them know you want your money? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Her BFF wanted to cater the company's Christmas party...despite the fact her cooking SUCKS! We tried to let her down easy but she wasn't going down without a fight! Get the #TextingTutor update! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

She is hosting her company's Christmas party. Her best friend wants to cater the party. She wants our help saying no because her food sucks.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

She is hosting her company's Christmas party. Her best friend wants to cater the party. She wants our help saying no because her food sucks.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices