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Guest Co-host:  Kris Parsons:  kris@parsons-pr.comKris' Website:  https://parsons-pr.com/Podcast Guest: Sharon McCulloughSharon's Website:  http://www.expertevents.com/ Transcription:Kris Parsons00:03Welcome to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do it too. Join us with your lively host Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world.Ray Loewe00:17Good morning, everybody. And today we have Kristine Parsons and myself in the studio. Yay in wildfire podcast, Emporium I think it is in scenic Woodbury, New Jersey, and we're going to bring in our special guest Sharon McCullough in a little bit. But let's, we're talking about changing the rules. So, you know, one of the things that we found out, especially during this COVID thing is we've had even more rules thrust upon us. And we've seen, you know, what happens when people throw rules at people? I mean, you get rebellions, you get people, uprising on airplanes, and all kinds of other things. You know, and I think this brings to a point to bear that rules for the sake of rules, can cause all kinds of issues that maybe we don't want them to have. But we do all need rules. And we have choices here. We can pick those rules that give us the guidance to design our lives the way we want to design them, and the luckiest people in the world here do that. And we have another one of those luckiest people in the world. We're bringing your back, Sharon McCullough, we interviewed her a couple months ago. Yeah, but let me introduce Kris Parsons. Kris is on Parsons, PR and she pushes around our PR system the whole like she's supposed to. I brand you, I brand you. Yeah. And talk a little bit about our guest Kris and where we are going today.Kris Parsons01:51I will.  Well Sharon, welcome back. We're happy to see you again. Oh, Sharon is a good friend of mine and also a business partner. She and I do a lot of events together. We have some wonderful stories of big fundraisers, we've done in places we've gone. So both of us kind of had a  you know, put the brakes on our heels when everything got canceled for COVID. So, but Sharon is the president and CEO of expert events. I like to say that Sharon is an expert in eliminating boredom because she leaves people who attend her events feeling like they had the most fun evening and that the evening didn't last a lifetime. She is often her events have reflected in higher donations, repeat attendance, and a program that accurately and effectively speaks to what the organization's mission is. So Sharon is the real deal. She found that expert events and what is it 1992 Sharon. And that was after years at the University of Pennsylvania where she spearheaded their key fundraising events such as their 25th 250th-anniversary campaign and alumni homecoming. So she focuses specifically on academic and nonprofit institutions because of her unique experience understanding them, combining the mission and messaging to best engage constituents. In addition, though, and this has been very prevalent during this pandemic time, she provides her clients with the strategic evaluations of existing in house operations to help them streamline efforts with staffing, budgeting, logistical recommendations, because you know, now when you can't do any events is the best time to really re-evaluate and decide if you're doing the right thing. So Sharon, how about you start talking, and tell us a little bit about what you do and how you as a luckiest person in the world because you are one have pivoted, and you're doing things a little differently. Now, since we've had to kind of cut back on a lot of the events.Sharon McCullough  03:51Well, it was a very, very sharp halt. In 2020. The previous fall, I had had eight major events over the course of two months in five different states. So I was running as fast as I could and then all of a sudden there was nothing except getting through the cancellation of and re-booking of contracts for everything that was canceling for the spring of 2020. And then we went through that again, for the folks that had rescheduled for 2021. We still couldn't do it. So we were evaluated and there was another addendum of the contracts. So that was what I was supplying my current clients with was the expertise of looking at those documents and trying to make sure that clauses for future health related issues. There's something called the force majeure clause in a contract that you know if there's a hurricane or a labor strike or Terrorism got added after 911. But there really wasn't anything that related to something like COVID, to make sure those addendums was those were written in so that if we came up against it again, we could have, once again, get out of it, or finally get our money back from the deposits that had been that have been made, instead of just continuing to let the sites hold the money for another year. Because the organizations could certainly make good use of that in some other way or for their virtual events. So we did do a few events that, you know, some of the clients that were forward-thinking enough to kind of get a grasp on how to move into a more virtual realm for their events. And, you know, we've saw across the board, a lot of difference in how people approach that and trying to get work with clients to understand that, you know, the event was not going to necessarily be a whole lot less expensive, you would just allocate the budget lines a little differently, that, you know, you may not have a catering line, but your AV and tech support would probably be higher than an in-person event. So we did a lot of consultation, a lot of talking with our clients. But what I finally pivoted to do was to take a look at and I took a couple stabs at this because it was hard to tell when it was best to market it. I've done it twice for other organizations where we just jump in and interview everybody that moves in the organization or has done anything event-related, or even people who had rented space at a client for their own events and how they got through the system of being able to do that specifically University-related that was something that I have done for Pace University, where we just completely re-evaluated how their events program was instituted. And we did the same thing for the Inova health system in Northern Virginia. And it's particularly useful for, you know, well, two or two types of organizations, one large organizations like that, that have multiple locations, and Nova had five hospitals and pace had four different campuses, and how they were managing their events, in addition to how they were focused on, you know, what was important for getting those done. So in looking at coming back from COVID, what I have been working with, I just went back through my list of you know, all my former clients and said, Hey, you know, you're coming back to be able to do this. And basically, the worst thing people could do would just be to say, Well, hey, we've always done it this way. So we're just gonna jump right back in and do it again. So we're trying to help organizations really evaluate. And in many instances, I mean, it sounds counterproductive to running an event business. But in many instances, my first advice is, you're doing way too many events. Just you're getting into the same pockets for their money and even more important, their time. You're asking them to participate in too many things, and maybe a combination of events, a total retooling? Did you budget correctly, you know, all of those kind of analyses that lots of people make the mistake of once the events over, the follow up doesn't get done all that well. And they never really evaluate how successful they really were.Ray Loewe08:55You know, can we back up a little bit here, because I so much has changed here. And let's talk a little bit about your normal group that you service first, which are nonprofits and educational events. Right. So what are the kinds of boards and staff that you're dealing with here? These are boards are voluntary in a lot of cases. Right. Right. Well, almost and not particularly experienced and not particularly thinking about these things, other than the fact that this is the way we've always done it. Right? Kris Parsons09:34Which is counterproductive to changing the rules, right?Ray Loewe09:36Yeah. Okay. And, so now, not only have you had this, stop, put on things, but we've already started, we started but we started differently. So this whole concept of technology has come into play. That wasn't there before. That again, the people that you're working with, don't know necessarily have a lot of background in. Okay. And yet, this is a wonderful tool, I would think in those events where you actually brought in technology, how would you describe the way the events came?Sharon McCullough  10:15Well, the biggest thing that we did with that was for an organization out of South Carolina, and it was what was dubbed in, you know, I'm not sure hybrid event is totally correct, because as we move forward, that term will be used more to indicate an audience and a live event, supplemented with a stream of, uh, you know, streaming that out what we did in South Carolina, there wasn't an audience with the live event, but we set up two shooting studios, we had some live things going on. And it was a three-day conference. And there are now dozens, probably, of what are called platforms for doing a virtual event. And one was chosen by our client before we got on board. And it was a lot of ramp up because every one of them's a little different to all the pieces that we as the planners had to do. For the setup, there had to be, you know, all the speakers got put into one thing, and then that went up on an agenda. And everybody got to launch in and literally create their own conference agenda for themselves. And walk through that and everything that was live in their offices, we made it like walking into the ballroom for the keynotes. Because you literally went back to that segment, every time there were going to be MC announcements. So we had a live segment. And then the platform supported panels, and individual keynotes, some of which were pre-recorded and sent to us. And we could control those. Everything else went through a platform. And we had a speaker from Germany, we had a speaker from Switzerland we had, and people just tapped in the audience tapped in. We had probably seven or 800 people virtually, and generally, the conference live had about 250 people prior to that.Ray Loewe12:28So you can do all of these things virtually. And I would think that from the standpoint of an attendee Wow, my cost just went way down.Sharon McCullough  12:41Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, that's gonna be the biggest challenge of relaunching, especially I think, for conferences, sure, you know, the local nonprofit that it's their gala fundraiser, Yeah could you join virtually and not have to get all dressed up. Yeah. And people will still do that. But I think that format for a gala, got a little tired over the course of 18 months. So you know,Kris Parsons13:12People still like to be in person.Sharon McCullough  13:16Ray's is good one that if I'm going to travel to Texas for a conference, I'm not only paying the conference fee, I'm paying an airline ticket, I'm paying for a hotel. And if I only get by within a conference fee, I can stay right at home. I think that those are going to be the hardest things to reboot up to live events. Ray Loewe13:38Especially if you can create an aura with good technology, right? But that makes it tolerable, okay? Because now you've got some real savings so I kind of see where you're going right now. So what's happening from your perspective is you got all of these potential clients, all these past clients who haven't been able to do what they wanted to do their way. Okay, and the first job is smacking them across the face of a couple times and saying, get over this, because we have something new here.Kris Parsons14:13That's better, that's actually better.Ray Loewe14:14That's often better. And, it can integrate, you know, in-person and virtual events, and you have the ability to do things that you never had a chance to do before. But you got to plan differently. Right.Sharon McCullough  14:30You do.  And then the other benefit is, is it really does allow organizations to get a bigger reach on their geographic range, because people you know, even a local event, you know if you're out in the burbs in Philly, you may not want to drive downtown at night Park, do all that stuff to go to the event. I mean, they could increase their audience by you know, pretty decent percentage. And that's the Difference Between now and say, I don't know, eight or 10 years ago, because people would videotape their events and then make that available. people watched it, maybe they did, maybe they didn't. But now, you know, with live streaming at those events, the people in the room have the same experience that they've ever had. But if you attend virtually, you're doing it in real-time. And I think that also makes a difference.Ray Loewe15:29So here we are, we're at what we thought the end of COVID. Right. And now we have no clue as to what the end of this thing is, right? And people have to plan events. I mean, one of the things that are nonprofit has to do is they can't stop doing this stuff, right? They need the fundraising. Yeah, cuz they've got you got to support the staff, you got to do all of these things. So now the thinking is different. And what you're bringing to the table, I think, is this wealth of experience in the ability to help people analyze, where they should go, am I correct? And maybe how they should go there? And should we be doing more virtual things? Shall we? You know, hold back, I noticed you said earlier, maybe we do less events and we do them differently. So all this thinking comes into play. So how does an organization with limited staff and a nonprofit board of volunteers do this?Kris Parsons16:34They hire Sharon.Ray Loewe16:37We set you up on that one SharonSharon McCullough  16:40that, you know, people are starting to think a little more strategically. And that is, it's going to make a difference. And the scary part is for me, I have a conversation with the client this afternoon. Because their event is supposed to be in October. And, you know, when the how much further do we watch what's happening? And I think, you know, some, but we've got to be able to know when to pivot, again, using that word, since they were going to live stream the event and have a live audience as well. When do we pivot to totally, totally virtual, if things go downhill again when we hit the fall. So that's a conversation that I also have to have with a few people, I had a conference that's been postponed twice, that's going to be an international conference up in Rhode Island. And they've just resurfaced to start talking about doing what we plan to do in 2020 and 2022. And we're gonna, you know, approach it, like we're going to do it, but also have some and that they will hit a point. And I think people really do need to think about this, that if they have just postponed and postponed again, and not taken up that virtual baton, that they're going to have to do it because they're totally losing connection to us.Kris Parsons18:18The longer you are not connecting. And that's another thing I think you and I talked about Sharon, how people even though this, everything came to a complete standstill, you don't stop communicating, you have to keep communicating, you have to keep, you know, keeping your constituents abreast of what's going on. And you're still going and we you and I actually experienced that where some of our clients just stop talking. And we're like, you got to go back and talk to them. Tell them that this is what our plans are, we're doing this and we're doing that, and still keep talking about the mission. So I mean, I think honestly, in a time like this, the communication is more, not less. So. And that's why we were so happy that you participated a lot in our, our virtual things that we had, we had the virtual coffee hour and cocktail hour, because that was how you and I networked and got out and connected with people.Ray Loewe19:07You know, the thing is, still has to happen. And I think you brought this up this, this concept of a podcast, which is one way, okay. You know, we're sitting here, we're deciding what information we're distributing and the people that are listening, it can't communicate back, okay. And there's this element that has to be there. We do it with coffee and cocktail hours, where we have small groups of people that can sit down and we actually can have a conversation because you can't get rid of the conversation today. Right. So let me we're getting near the end of our time, unfortunately. And I want to kind of summarize a couple things. So we met first at the beginning of this COVID thing when all of a sudden you guys canceled. I don't know how many live events within like a couple of weeks of this thing. Right? And then all of a sudden everybody kind of drew in their horns, you know, and they sat there and said, Okay, what do we do and nobody did much of anything for a while. And then we came up with this whole concept of the virtual conference, the virtual ability to communicate. And now we find that's being overdone. And if you don't do it right, it's boring and you don't get the results that you want to get. And now we're coming up with maybe a hybrid conference in the future, and maybe we don't know when. So the importance of a coach or consultant here, I think is critical to this kind of a business. And I think what they really have to do is have the plan with the right clauses and the contingency plan. At least that's what I got out of this conversation. So am I on the right track?Kris Parsons20:51Well, what's interesting, I didn't even know some, you know, I didn't even know some of these clauses are important. I mean, Sharon, Sharon is very good at making sure people don't lose lots of money. You know, because when you sign a contract, you're signing a lot of money away. Oh, yeah. And knowing these clauses, I mean, these are some of the little sneaky details that like you said, Sharon, some of the people on the board Don't even think about don't know, don't have any idea. And yes, more than ever, I think you need an X, you need an expert events. You need someone who understands that so you get rid of some of the headaches. Ray Loewe21:21So how do we find you, Sharon? You got a website? I do expertevents.com. Okay. And we'll make sure we put that with our podcasting notes. And one of the things that we ought to do is we ought to schedule you for one of our cocktail hours so that people who listen to this thing can actually have a conversation with you, you know, and it's always good to see you anyway. Yeah. Well, okay, so we're21:50Burn wood and make an old fashion to do it.Kris Parsons21:56Sure. Yeah, Sharon came to one of our cocktails where we actually made a cocktail. And then Sharon, didn't you and your husband ended up making it at home? You had a great time?Ray Loewe22:07We did. So we're done. We're at the end of our time. So, any last-minute questions or comments from you?Kris Parsons22:14Know, just that, glad to have you on Sharon. And it's fascinating to see how you're, you're kind of its events, post-pandemic, and we appreciate you coming to our coffee and cocktail hours. So we can all keep the conversations going. Yeah, youRay Loewe22:27know, and you and you prove a point to our listeners. And the point is that you know, people that have that focus on what they want to do find a way to get it done. And it's never easy, is it? never easy. And there's always, always a COVID of some kind out there. Some kind of pandemic and what you got to do is you got to understand that pivoting is part of the nature of the game, and that the luckiest people in the world do design their own lives, but that life changes periodically, and it changes because life changes. So you know, thank you so much for being with us again. You're always a joy to be with and to spend time with and you're always motivating. Yes. So I really enjoyed being with you. Great. So everybody. Have a great day. A great weekend. We'll see you all next week with some new exciting guests.Kris Parsons23:24Thank you for listening to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do that too. Join us with your lively host of Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world.

Guest Co-host:  Kris Parsons:Kris' website:Podcast Guest:  Will Becker:   Transcription:  Kris Parsons00:02Welcome to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do it too. Join us with your lively host Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world.Ray Loewe00:16This is your lively host you know I'm not sure how lively I am this morning, but we're here in our wonderful podcast studio in Woodbury, New Jersey wildfire podcast. And we're here with our engineer Taylor. And we're here with our two guests, our co-host, Kris Parsons, who will introduce in a minute, and Will Becker, the famous Will Becker, by the way, okay. And let me remind you of what we're all about to start with we call our podcast, changing the rules. And it's because we have too many rules in life, and rules tend to get in the way and when we're obeying all the rules we're living somebody else's life. Okay. So the key is to be able to sift and sort through the rules and make them work for us. And when we do that, we get the freedom to live our own life. And we're talking about the luckiest people in the world that do that. Because when you're able to live your own life, you feel lucky, you feel happy, you know, things tend to go well, it's not the simplest thing in the world. There's some struggles that go on in here. And we have a new book coming out, which we're going to announce shortly. It's guess what it's called the luckiest people in the world, you know, and we talk some somewhat in the air about the mindsets, the luckiest people in the world have. And today, you're going to see one particularly come forward. And that is that we all have a personal brand. And the luckiest people in the world know who they are. And they know how they show up with that brand. And once they do that, they're able to tweak it, they're able to make that part of life work for them. And life gets better and better and better. So kris Parsons, Parsons, PR? Yes, I got that. Right. That right? I should we've known each other for how long? It's been about at least four years, maybe at least. Oh, it's not 400. It's only four?Kris Parsons02:19only four.Ray Loewe02:20only four. And Kris is our co-host this month, she also is our PR person. And Kris, why don't you introduce yourself and then introduce our guest?Kris Parsons02:30I will. Thank you. Thank you, Ray. Yes, I'm excited to I actually got a chance to read the book The draft, first-time last night. So I'm very excited. It's a wonderful book. It's a great. It's a great guide and a lot of exciting, interesting stories. So well. Will Becker, Will Becker is a friend of mine his family, we've been friends. We've been friends for more than four years, right? Probably 10-15. I don't know. Yeah. closer to 15. At this point, yeah, we do it by our kids, right. And when our kids get older, Ray Loewe02:56You're getting me jealous. There's another man in your life?Kris Parsons02:59There's another man, I'm sorry. And including my husband's Oh, okay. But that's neither here nor there. Anyway, Will, we are good friends, but also Will is a wonderful professional. He's an IT professional. He's in the financial services and insurance industry. And he focuses on business and quality assurance analysis. He has been employed at Aqua soft for the past three years. And he leads the business analysis team for them. It's a big team for the US region. Now, Will was introduced to Ray about, I don't know, maybe two years ago, a year and a half ago, when he was in transition your 15 years working for other insurance carriers, right. And then this was before he joined Aqua soft. He took one of Ray's courses. And that's available on our website. Right, Ray? Yes, ma'am. Okay, and he says it changed the course of his career by helping him see a different side of himself. And that side proved to be the one that landed in this region, his job at Aqua soft, which is exciting. So we want to hear about that story Will, how about you tell us a little bit about what course you took? And what did it say about yourself that was very insightful to you? Yeah.Will Becker04:10Great. Thanks, Kris. Good morning. Good morning, Ray. Thanks for having me back. Good morning. It's nice to see you after three, three years. So it's not likeKris Parsons04:19And COVID where we've been virtually seeing each other, right?Will Becker04:21Yes. So yeah, so I can give you a little background of how I met Ray. And when I was going through transition, I was probably out of work, three, four months, trying to find my next position after 15 years working for the same company. And as I did that, I struggled to figure out like your term right brand, trying to figure out who I am and who I wanted to be and my next phase of a career, and I took the courses that Ray offered started with the Kolbe A and learned some more data analytics way of looking at myself. And I transitioned over to the second phase of that was a unique ability test and That really opened my eyes to trying to figure out who I am and where I want to be. I was struggling a little bit in trying to figure out what jobs to apply for. Is this really the position I want long-term I wasn't looking to job hop. And the unique ability really opened my eyes to internalize what I am as a person, what I am as an employee when I am as a leader to other people that work for the company I work at, and where I was wanting to go. And it really steered me in a direction where I was able to take a position at Aqua soft because it felt right to my brand and who I am, as I learned through the unique ability,Ray Loewe05:39You know you made a statement that I absolutely love. And that is you want it to be the same Will at home, as you are at the office. Will Becker05:48Yeah, Ray. That's probably the biggest eye-opener I had. And it's a simple way of describing my view of life. And how you helped me bridge that. Ray Loewe05:57You know let's go back a little bit. I mean, it because I remember when we started having our first conversations, and you're like a whole lot of other people, you know, you're between jobs, and you let go for whatever reason, and usually has nothing to do with you. It has to do with corporate downsizing, or somebody changed their mind somewhere. And you've got to feel like you're under tremendous pressure. And the pressure is to conform to the rules. The rules, say, you know, I got to go out and get a job, and I don't care what job it is, I just got to get a job. So I got money putting on the table. And you know, it's one of the biggest mistakes that a lot of people make. And sometimes it's what you have to do. But when you have the luxury of finding out who you are. And you know, can you talk a little bit about how your job interviews changed, once you all of a sudden realized the Will you want to combine Will, the home Will, and the business Will.Will Becker06:57So I'll tell you that the biggest lesson I learned was being when you're the home person, it's you are at work, you become the natural person of who you are at work. And so you've become very genuine in the interview process. And so when I struggled with when I was before that I would go to an interview. And I think I was giving them the answer I needed to provide to get the position. And what I realized was once I wanted to be the same person at home as I am at work, and I figured out what that meant to me and how to describe that and influence. People during the interview. The interview became a conversation, right? There wasn't enough time to continue the dialogue, we flowed, there was no boundaries to the question and answer it, was tell me about who you are. And two hours later, I look up and they're making an offer because it felt natural. I knew on my side of the equation that it was the right home for me to go to at least explore its long-term career for me. And for them, it was an easy no-brainer, because I made it easy on them to see the value that I could bring to the table. Yep. Ray Loewe07:57So now you're part of an organization and you're obviously doing your thing and making huge contributions. Because I think you told me when you entered your employee number 364. We're up to 750. Yeah. And doesn't it feel great to be part of a growing organization where you fit?Will Becker08:17Yeah, that's the most exciting piece of it is that you get two things with that one, you get to be part of the success, but you also get to influence the success. And that was what keeps me excited about going to work every day.Ray Loewe08:29Okay, so you made another revelation during our pre-interview, which I thought was unbelievable. And let me just bring up the boss that didn't like me. Oh, yeah.Will Becker08:41No, I think she just didn't understand me. And I think that's probably most people go through that challenge is trying to fit into an organization that was small and growing. So there's a core group of associates to just know each other and they just do what they need. And then you have those that are trying to inject themselves into that environment. And it's a challenge. So I had this boss who was on a project for a good six months, and I felt I was doing the right things struggling as a new employee. But in the end, I learned to find out pretty quickly that the upper leadership did not like me. I was not delivering their own expectations. And she was very blunt about it to me that she almost hesitated about considering either one letting me go and two never bringing in someone who came from the insurance side. Forget. So that was a rude awakening. I'll tell you, Ray.Ray Loewe09:30Yeah, but what happened? What was the end result?Will Becker09:34So a patient slid out so I was able to transition to a different project where it took and embraced my natural skills. So the first project I didn't feel like I was being the natural person that I thought I said I would be at the company. And then when I moved to a different client, the reviews and feedback coming from the new client was raving and they've said, Well, maybe I'll take a second look on who you are. And so this boss came to me about two years later, after having hesitancy, and asked me to come in and support a project in Australia. And my role was to come in as a traffic cop and kind of lead them through process reorientation. And it really focuses on how we do things at Aqua soft. And it kind of shocked me right? To be honest, like I was the ambassador for this, after having such a hard start to the horizon, the to delivering the way we deliver. And so what I ended up doing was getting on these calls every night. And at the end of my first week, I was asked to write an email that went all the way up to the CEO of both companies. And she wrote back to me the next day, she goes who is this person? She didn't really she's like, dude, how did I not know you had all this engagement skill in you that you could give a message so eloquently to the client, that she could talk up to the leaders as well as to the people doing the work, and her eyes just opened up. And she's been a big fan of mine ever since. And.Ray Loewe10:52Well, that's because you are who you are. And, who you are, is probably pretty good. It seems right.Kris Parsons10:59Well, that kind of leads into what we were talking about as well, the perception, right? We have a perception of ourselves, but other people have a perception of us. And sometimes it's good to look outside what you think and find out what did you call that your unique ability? Yes. So tell us that little exercise you did that I think everybody could do I mean, I got to go home and do it myself.Will Becker11:20So some of the beauties of Ray's program that I found most useful is the unique ability assessment. And so that was a simple task where Ray asked me to email and write to my 10 closest people that I may know whether they were work associates or friends or family, and ask them the simple question, tell me the one thing that makes me unique to you. And I got all the feedback. And I analyzed it. And I found four to five came back with the same response, which was you help make complex things simple. And that became to I think I like your term, Ray, brand. Yes, your brand, it really helped me keep a perspective, like, this is my value, I've realized I don't have value across everything nobody does. But if I can emphasize one aspect of who I am, to my family, to my friends, and to my employer, is that concept, to keep things simple.Ray Loewe12:10Well, you know, you just said something that I want to comment on because it's really important and really interesting. And that is, we aren't the same value to everybody. Exactly. And I think that's really important for us to understand. And you know, when you're looking for a job it's especially important. See if you can match your value to the values that are needed by the organization. If you can take a project that you're on and match your values to those values, then all of a sudden, everything shows up. Great. And when it doesn't it, you're like a fish out of water. And I think that the biggest lesson that you are practicing right now is that you're not afraid to be you because you have confidence that you are a wonderful person, you're you know, I am who I am, you know, you take me for what I am Yes, I'll tweak things a little bit here and there to make things go. And do you speak Australian now?Will Becker13:12I can interpret it in my head, but not quite.Kris Parsons13:15Well, it also goes to the fact that you were talking about the interview process. I mean, it's true. People even though they have a whole list of job descriptions and qualities and responsibilities, people want to know that they can work with you, people want to know that they can talk to you day in and day out and have a good relationship with you. So it really is a relationship. And like he said it turned into a conversation, right? It wasn't an interview. And then right there people go, yeah, this guy will fit in fine. Right. So so I think that's being your genuine self is what's important. And it's a lot harder than you think, in all of us have done the interviews all of us have gone out and you know, end up trying to conform to what we think they want, when really in actuality we should just really be ourselves. Yeah.Ray Loewe13:57I think so too. And so one of the things that you're doing now is I think you find yourself both as a manager and a coach, you want to comment on the relationship there?Will Becker14:08Yeah, I think it's actually inseparable, right. So as many times we get managers, I tend to use the term leader. So where I try to influence people is to help people understand that now in my team, but others in the organization is to realize that every day is not going to be easy. Some days are going to be natural, and some aren't. But every time I get a chance where someone comes to me and says it doesn't feel right, I'm having hesitation about either a specific assignment or maybe even the role in the company. I tend to pull them aside and I try to break it down simple for them to listen, you have to look within yourself, kind of coach them to their strengths again, so they can start feeling value, and then give them a path forward on how to overcome and succeed in the areas they don't feel like they're, making great inroads on And to your point of being a coach, there's no boundaries to that. So it doesn't have to be somebody reports to Me, and Ray, I know you didn't plan this, but I got a phone call from another leader this morning at my company, who I have to call after this call to kind of help coach them through some of the struggles, they're going through with the role that they're in now and help them see the light at the end of the tunnel that they'll get there with some guidance.Ray Loewe15:16And all those because you're being you.Will Becker15:20And that's why they reached out to Ray, to be honest. I mean, they felt that could be a natural delivery of that experience. And I can share the story I shared with you about my initial struggles. In parallel, this person's going through a similar challenge themselves. And it helps people to understand that they're not in it alone, that there is a way to get to the successful end of the road.Ray Loewe15:38Cool. So we've kind of talked about where you were, and where do you see yourself going in your company? What do you see yourself doing? How are you going to amplify on all this? I know, that's really an unfair question.Will Becker15:52No, it's a good one, because actually, I think now that I've kind of bridged the senior leadership and understand them, understanding who I am and what values I can have, I've been given some internal training. So we're getting some training on leadership that I accept because there's never enough training, right? There's always something you can learn and grow within your company. And it's nice that they're offering it. And the second piece is I've been enjoying this part more being brought in to help coach other leaders at the company. Because I did come with 15 years of management and leadership experience. It just only happens to be about two years where I'm at now. So they're recognizing that experience, and then I can help coach other newer leaders into a more mature leadership style.Kris Parsons16:33What you mean, we're not only hiring young people that have one year of experience? Age is really good you mean.Ray Loewe16:41Age is a good thing. Age is a good thing. So the next question, let's go off into a different value. You have a couple of kids at home. Okay. So and they're teenagers, I think, right? Will Becker16:53Yeah, 16 and one's 12. So they're okay, they're there.Ray Loewe16:57So here you are, you have this whole unique ability thing that you're growing with? How does this translate down into your kids and the advice that you give them? And where are we going? Will Becker17:08Yeah, that's another area Ray where there's no boundary, right? So yeah, the experience that I had going through the unique ability, I've shared it with both my children. So my older son is starting to look at colleges, and he's a junior in high school, and he's having those questions. Where do I go? What do I do, and what I shared with him is you really want to go down that path that makes you most comfortable as a natural fit. So don't try to pick a school that aligns just because that's where they say you should go or it's the cool place to go. Second, is when you're looking at what you want to learn and study, it has to be something you're interested in, you can't be something that's just because it makes money, or that's what the other kids are doing. It has to be you it has to fit you. So I've asked him to start thinking about himself in the same context, I did on the unique ability, so he could do it at a younger age to try to figure out what makes him unique and special to others.Ray Loewe17:59Yeah, this is pretty heavy stuff for a 16-year-old. But you know, it works. And I remember going back to our old college money days when what we were doing was helping people get into college and figuring out how to pay for the darn thing. And you know, we found out that there are three kinds of colleges out there. And there's an example that actually makes sense in here. But there are those that are kind of the snotty colleges that set their rules and you don't break the rules okay. There's a whole bunch that are designed for their state colleges that don't have a lot that they can give, you know, again, you play their rules. And there's a whole bunch of colleges in the middle, a lot of them that are really looking for kids who want to be there. And when they find that match, the money comes on the table correct. Okay. And not only does money come on the table, but the whole experience is a better experience. Because you see these kids today dropping out of college and stuff like that. So I think the wisdom that you're imparting to your son over here about figuring out what's really important to you, and you know, you got to understand is going to change. Yeah, you should want to be a fireman.Will Becker19:13The easiest part about it isn't because it's such a simple question to ask. kids understand it, and they're a lot smarter than we may give them credit for, and what they want and where they want to go. It's getting it out of them to understand as parents, and I think to us while it seems like a serious topic, but it's a really easy bridge to a simple car ride conversation.Ray Loewe19:36Cool, cool. Yeah, we'll bring you in as a counselor to kids now.Kris Parsons19:42That chapter of the book.Ray Loewe19:44Unfortunately, we're getting near the end of our time here. So Kristine, do you have any last questions you want to ask Will or any comments you want to make?Kris Parsons19:51Ah, well, not really, other than if there's any one phrase that you would say to anybody else that wanted to either take one of the courses or get involved with the friend's connection or all the things that are in our luckiest people in the world wheelhouse. What would you say?Will Becker20:06I would say start the path down and try to figure out which courses fit you best. I think that's what I learned, you know, I've done some of these analytic ones before, and it was a nice supplement. But it took me the next step to get to the unique ability that really opened my eyes and I live it now going forward, Ray.  It's not just an activity. Ray Loewe20:20And I remember we were starting it was like, twisting arms to get you to take it because you never had enough time. Right? Right. That's right. And this is a really important thing. The good things take time, you have to create time to be one of the luckiest people in the world. And unfortunately, life moves us. Correct. And sometimes it's like a roller coaster, you just don't have any choice. Okay, so any last comments you want to make Will or any final things that you want to say?Will Becker20:57I would just like to end it Ray that I appreciate all the work you do for coaching people. I mean, it's hard enough to find good advice, let alone consistent, good advice. And we've now met over three years. And I can say every day I wake up, I get a chance to learn from our engagements when we've had them. And again, it does, it doesn't bet itself. So to anyone that's interested in I do recommend reaching out to RayRay Loewe21:22Gee, I feel like I have to pat myself on the back. But no, thank you for being you. First of all, thank you for being a guest here and thank you for being an example and there's no question you're going to be successful moving forward, both in your, the Will at work and the Will at home, which by the way is one Will.Kris Parsons21:42Same person now.Ray Loewe21:43Same person one Will, okay, so, next week, we're going to be back with another great guest and we're going to explore the luckiest people in the world and what they do to make themselves lucky. And everybody have a great day. Thank you much.Kris Parsons22:00Thank you for listening to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do that too. Join us with your lively host Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world.

Guest Co-host:  Kris Parsons:  kris@parsons-pr.comKris' Website:  https://parsons-pr.com/Podcast Guest:  Ruth Kinsler:  ruthie901@Comcast.netRuth's Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/mystrokeofluckruthie Transcription:Kris Parsons00:02Welcome to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do it too. Join us with your lively host Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world.Ray Loewe00:16Good morning, everybody and welcome to our podcasting studios in scenic Woodbury, New Jersey, our engineer, Taylor is manning the controls and keeping us on the straight and narrow. And we're here today with two guests, we have our co-host, Kris Parsons we'll let her talk in a couple of minutes and we're bringing back Ruth Kinsler with an S not a Z okay. And Ruth is going to continue the story that she started with us last time. But let me start a little bit by going back and telling you about why we are doing changing the rules as a podcast. And the reason is that we're cluttered with too many rules in our life. And I think Steve Jobs was one of the people that said, You can't live somebody else's life, you have to live yours and you can't live it if you're following everybody else's rules. You know, most rules were set here because other people wanted to control what we did. Okay? And only when you take those rules and sift and sort through them and figure out how you're going to make them work for you. Do you become free to be you? And you got to remember as we go through this, that being creative here is not about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself. So Kris Parsons and Kris starts this introduction about the liveliest host, and I'm not the liveliest host I'm the most caffeinated.Kris Parsons01:44This morning Ray is a little over-caffeinated. That's because our last podcast had a coffee person on it. Ray Loewe01:51Yeah, so Kris introduce yourself. And then I'll let you introduce Ruth with an S, not Z. Kri Parsons01:59Yes. Hi, everyone.  I'm Kris Parsons of Parsons, PR. And I have been with Ray for a while now doing a lot of fun things, exciting things. And it's always an adventure with him. And I'm always thrilled to be working with him because he takes me in many directions. But Ruth, I don't know a lot of you maybe remember maybe a lot of you have because Ruth had the most likes and followers of her podcast. Her podcasts was here about a year ago. She has an amazing story, a very inspirational story. And actually, whenever I'm feeling down in the dumps, I go back and listen to her episode. Ruth was a very active businesswoman. She had a fabulous career, enjoyed life, and traveled to the fullest. She has many friends great family, life was really, really good for Ruth until one day at age 52. Right? Yeah, 52 she was blindsided by a stroke that paralyzed her from her chest down. Having to pivot, right, that if you listen to her story, which is very inspiring, I encourage you to listen to the whole story, it would have been very easy to curl up and give up. But not Ruth. She plowed through rehab and now walked into the studio with me. And she started a new catering career from her experience. And she named it a Stroke of Luck. Talk about a positive way. So I think we brought Ruth back just because we want to hear her story again, but also to see how she has changed a little bit and what has happened in her life since then, and what she finds inspiring, and how do you keep that positive attitude?Ruth Kinsler03:33Well, first of all, I just want to thank you both for having me back again. I have to tell you, I went back this week and I listened to some of the previous podcasts and to think that I have or I never thought that I was of that caliber of inspiration. Listening to them?Ray Loewe03:53Oh, yes you are.Ruth Kinsler03:54I know but just listening to them. It really it struck a chord with me and it you know, it really touched me. So I want to thank you for sort of opening my eyes and letting me realize that I do have a story and I do have the capability to you know, maybe be an inspiration to some.Kris Parsons04:11Yes, she's very humble too, she's very humble.Ray Loewe04:15Well, okay, I'm sure so lots has happened. So you know, you've had this stroke, you're, you know, in a hospital, you can't move. Uh, you know, your job is not going to be the same. And, you know, you made one quote when we did our pre-interview, let's get that on the table really early. And that is that I don't focus on what I used to be able to do.Ruth Kinsler04:38Very, very important. As if I did focus on those things then like Chris said, I would be home curled up in a ball sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself, but that's just not in my makeup.Ray Loewe04:52Yeah, and we're gonna steal that quote. probably put it on a coffee mug because I think it's who you are. And, I think some of that comes from your internal makeup, some of that comes because well, it all comes to some extent because of your mindset and your internal makeup but it's because you actually sat down and said, You know, I'm not gonna feel sorry for myself, I'm gonna make some things happen. And that is why you do have a story to tell. So let's go back and talk a little bit about the invention of the company Stroke of Luck, and what happened there and then some of the things that happened during the pandemic, because I think I want listeners to understand that, you know, sometimes you come up with this great idea. And it's really a great idea, it's still a great idea, and it's gonna happen, but things happen that make you pivot constantly. And the luckiest people in the world have this common trait. And that is that they're constantly reinventing themselves because life is constantly changing. Okay. And we have to remember that tell us a little bit about building your bake shop at home, where it's going, what are some of the things that you had to go from there?Ruth Kinsler06:12Okay. So, after my incident, it was probably a year, maybe a year after the incident, I realized that I was just not one. I couldn't go back to work. But I still wanted to be doing something that was giving back to others. I was so grateful to the rehabilitation center that forced me and pushed me to work hard to be able to be independent. On my own walking, I walk with one cane, now I went from a wheelchair, went from a bed to a wheelchair, to one cane now. So I'm very, very proud of myself for that. I had to come up with something that I enjoyed doing, I didn't want to do something just because I wanted to stay busy or earn a little extra cash. So I decided I wanted to do something that I loved and that I could help somebody in a way. So I came up with this idea that I loved to cook, I always enjoy cooking, and I was pretty good at it. So I started this business called a Stroke of Luck Catering, basically a lot of baked goods, but I do a lot of comfort foods. And I decided I was going to give a certain percentage of my proceeds back to McGee rehabilitation center. little plug there,Kris Parsons07:27they deserved it, they deserve Ruth Kinsler07:28They deserve it for sure. So that's what I did. I started my Facebook account a Stroke of Luck Catering, and I said, you know, all my, some of my proceeds are going to be going back to McGee and I was surprised at how successful it was. Um,Ray Loewe07:45Can I stop you for a minute? Because there's another element here that I think we want to get in, you know, the laws were not totally in favor of you doing this were they? They were not. And I and it's changed. Ruth Kinsler08:02Yes just recently, the home bakers Association, made it completely legal for home bakers to sell out of their homes. Kris Parsons08:09There were a lot of home I think there were a lot more people doing things cooking and baking at home during this.Ray Loewe08:09So you were very limited when you started, you know because we always comply with the law. Right? Exactly. Change the rules to comply with the law. And okay, so that's one of the positive things that occurred in the world out of this mess that we had. Okay, so. You know, and what do you do? YouRuth Kinsler08:34It's unfortunate because when you are a baker at home, you're not allowed to as clean as you are. And as much as you follow the rules, you're still not allowed to sell your items at markets. What do you call those things?Ray Loewe08:49a flea market or farmer's market farmersRuth Kinsler08:51I had a brain fart there. Farmers markets and stores, local stores in your community, you know, you're just sort of limited to a friend's family. You keep your money down your, costs down close to your you know your sell price close to your expenses, then you have to consider the proceeds that I give away. So I had to be very, very careful about how I ran the business. Ray Loewe09:15Okay, so now you're more free than you used to be. But there were some other things that happened in yours. Oh, tell us a verse of the story.Ruth Kinsler09:22Well, after your mean with COVIDRay Loewe09:25Yeah, well, the whole idea you started with the stroke then we had the bakery then we had COVID.Ruth Kinsler09:35And I tell you like like your last guest. I mean, it really slowed down. People were very, very fearful of any kind of, you know, communication, especially purchasing food from somebody that they didn't know or from somebody you know, somebody whose kitchen so for a while it was a little tough there and you know, people would say just put it on the front step and I'll leave you money in the mailbox or You know, people were pretty scared and then eventually got really, really slow. So again, once again, I was sitting around and thinking, this isn't for me. I continue to post things and try to market myself but I decided to take a part-time job. And I am currently also doing my bakery but working in a nursing facility, assisted living facility doing part-time and I absolutely love it. I love the seniors. I love the fact that they're faster than me.Ray Loewe10:31Us old people do okay, you know.Ruth Kinsler10:33They do they amaze me. And, you know, they inspire me.Ray Loewe10:38So here you are you had to do another pivot in here. Okay. And this is important, because, you know, too many people say, you know, I'm going to start my bakery. Okay, it's not working. So I failed. And that's not true at all. No, not at all. Not at all. And it just means that you have to do some tweaking, change the rules a little bit, you know, make them work for you. And now not only are you back baking, but you're also doing something else that you love to and.Ruth Kinsler11:07And I also bake and bring it in and I treat them to all my cupcakes and my goodies. Oh, yeah. No, they love you. And it just keeps me It keeps me motivated. It keeps me you know, doing learning. I'm still learning making new recipes. And I try it out on my coworkers and the residents and they love it.Ray Loewe11:24Okay, so where is all of this taking you? Do you think?Ruth Kinsler11:28I'm not sure, Ray? I mean, that's the honest answer. I'm looking forward to the fall because menus change in the fall. soups are one of my number one seller, so I'm really looking forward to changing things up and really pushing that aspect of it. I'm doing my very first catering job for 40 people on Saturday, since the pandemic. So things will continue to peak. Right. You know, we pray that that happens. But I'm still continuing to I'm going to continue to work part-time and get the enjoyment out of the elders and the seniors at the resident home.Ray Loewe12:08Well, that's because you're a multi-dimensional person see. I think let's talk soup for a minute so what's your best soup?Kris Parsons12:15Ray loves to eat.Ray Loewe12:18And I love soup and you know, soups or maligned. You know, they're one of the best foods in the world. Ruth Kinsler12:24They are and it's really one of my favorites to make. My favorite soup is the creamy potato soup. It's the biggest seller. Amazing. Really good. So I do want to apologize because my intention was to bring you in some cupcakes this morning and I got so busy. That it didn't butRay Loewe12:44you know you can look at my waist over here and say hey, yeah. With a soup later on.Ruth Kinsler12:52Yes, I promise I'll make that up for you. But I do the potato soup. I do the mini meatball soup. I do a lemon chicken soup. It's I mean, I just try with different things and I have a whole crew that will order my soups every week. You know and I am looking forward to that.Kris Parsons13:07And that all comes back to sort of what we're all talking about this whole connection right the COVID got us unconnected. Soap is a great connector soup and salad and soup every it's a comfort food. It helps us people love to talk about it. Love to have it there soup parties. I know people have soup parties. Ray Loewe13:24Oh yeah, they're soups and different breads. And it's a great way to connect. So we need to create a new feature on our coffee on Thursday. Where Ruthie comes on and gives us the soup menu for the day. And all you got to do is to stay on for five minutes. Because if you stay on any longer than that we're all going to drool.Kris Parsons13:45And if anybody misbehaves, we say no soup for you,Ruth Kinsler13:49right? And all of my soups come with homemade biscuits by the way.Kris Parsons13:54Say you better get your order in now.Ray Loewe13:56How do we order stuff from you?Ruth Kinsler13:58Oh, well, I don't have a web page yet. But I do have a Facebook page is called a Stroke of Luck.Ray Loewe14:03Okay. And what is there a menu posted there?Ruth Kinsler14:06There's photos. There's pictures of everything that I do. I do take special requestsRay Loewe14:11And how far advanced do we have to order?Ruth Kinsler14:14Oh, just a week, a couple of days, a couple of days. And by the grace of God, I drive so I can deliver. Oh, cool. Yeah, that's you know, that's one thing that I'm just truly grateful for that I've been given the opportunity to keep moving and that's what I'm planning on doing. Ray Loewe14:33You know, the whole flavor of our show is changing here. Okay, I can't handle all these. Well, the last podcast we did we talked about coffee, right? In an essence with your muffins. Right? We should we're going from like coffee, to muffins, to soup. Kris Parsons14:48Should we change this to a Food Show?Ray Loewe14:50Yeah, you know, instead of changing the rules, we'll say changing the menu and we can do this. Okay, so the reincarnation of the Soup Nazi only you're the nice one and the muffin lady and you're going to do this and meanwhile, you're doing some things with seniors. What else have you learned from this process about you?Ruth Kinsler15:15I just learned that I'm a fighter. I learned that I'm a fighter and I never thought I was before I just, you know when something like this happens to, you don't have time to think. And if you think too much, then it's going to take you in another direction. You know, you just have to, you have to dig deep. And I'm a spiritual person. I believe that the, you know, the Lord above is the one that gave me my second chance in life and I'm just gonna go with it.Ray Loewe15:45Okay, now there are other things you're doing to you know, see most people What did you tell him? Well, let's talk about a supper club. Oh, I took good notes.Ruth Kinsler16:00I did. Oh, that's so funny that you remember that? I did. I live in a condominium complex. There's 500 units. And I just felt like I needed to bring the community together, there was so much negativity regarding I don't know if either of you have ever lived in an HOA, but there's just always some negative things. So me and four of the other residents got together, we decided that we were going to host what's called the supper club on the Delaware because we live right on the Delaware River and we overlook this beautiful Yacht Club. So we started doing that we start doing that on Wednesdays, we're going to do it every season, winter, spring, summer, fall. And we just get all of our, all of our residents together, you have great dinner overlooking the beautiful Delaware with your neighbors and your friends, and you're allowed to bring, you know, family outside of the community. So it's just a nice thing for everybody to get to know their neighbors now that it's safe to do people are dying to get out and to communicate and to you know, one on one to actually see faces and feel emotions andKris Parsons17:03and we decided to spread positivity. You know, it says it seems corny sometimes but it really is necessary and when you practice it, practice positivity. It becomes a habit it becomes natural. Ray Loewe17:14Well, I think again, this is part of your story. The story you didn't know you had exactly. But it is your you're a people person, you're out there, you're not going to sit still. Things happen to you. Okay, so what? Okay, you go through it, you do what has to do, and you go on to the next positive thing. I love the supper club. And guess what? The supper club? You can have soup? Oh, yes. You know we get this cold winter day when nobody wants to drive. We'll just do soup, right?Ruth Kinsler17:46Our first one was a pasta night and our next one is going to be a good old-fashioned Texas barbecue.Kris Parsons17:52We'll see. And that's why I think I like what's happening here with changing the rules and our coffee hours on our cocktail hours. You know, Ruthie he didn't know she had a story she was and I didn't know. And then when she saw how many people liked it and followed her and how we're asking her to do this again. You know, it does build confidence, like wow, I guess I do matter. I have a story. And it's a story that helps others.Ray Loewe18:12So you know I can see fortune muffins developing. I like that idea. You know, I've always wanted to write fortune, a fortune cookies. You ever, you know, they're so bad? We have a new forum here. You know, we'll break the muffin apart and out will pop a new fortune for the day.Ruth Kinsler18:29how about I make the muffins and you write the fortune? Oh,Kris Parsons18:33He's got some good ones. One of my favorite ones of Ray is, Let's just assume I'm right, I'll make everything easier.Ray Loewe18:42Okay, so I think we've kind of brought you up to date in terms of what you're doing. Do you have any visions about some of the things that maybe you would like to do now that cropped up out of all of this stuff that's going on?Ruth Kinsler18:57Well, I've always always wanted to have my own storefront. And I'm still I'm not backing down from that hope and dream that someday that's what I will do. I love to feed people, I guess you can see the tie in between the supper club, feeding the residents and the seniors at my long-term care facility, and then the Stroke of Luck Catering. So I guess food is something that I'm you know, I'm in love with and I just want to share it with people.Ray Loewe19:23So I'm hoping that it has something to do with that. Well, you'll have it there's only so much question you'll have it. It's a question of just when and you know, we learned from the last podcast we did on coffee that reopening coffee shops is it's not quite on time yet. So keep the dream. Keep the basics going. Which you have you know you have. You have your bakery, you've got your system set up. And uh, there's no doubt it'll happen and we'll do a podcast for the grand opening from the storefront Taylor will wheel out his portable podcast, and we'll deal with this. Alright, okay, we're kind of near the end of our time. Why don't we would Kristine make some closing remarks? And then we'll come back to you and let you make some. All right.Kris Parsons20:14Yeah, great. Well, it's always fascinating. It's always fascinating to talk to you, Ruth. Ruth is a good friend of mine. But also I get inspired every time I talk to her. So thank you for coming. I know you've been very busy. So this is great. And I want to encourage all the listeners to go back to her podcasts or original one. And you'll see it, they're all listed on the website, theluckiestpeopleintheworld.com, long, long website. But still, it's one more theluckiestpeopleintheworld.com. See everything that we have to offer. And please join us, we'd love more people to come because as you can see from people we're interviewing, here, we're getting inspired every day. And we'll get Ruthie to come on coffee someday, and we'll all be able to place soup orders.Ruth Kinsler20:56I love that. Thank you so much for having me. I really, really was, I was nervous. I told Kris, I was a little nervous to come back today. Just because, you know, the result of the pandemic really did hit a lot of people really hard.Ray Loewe21:10It's so important that you're willing to tell that story because, you know, everybody's been in this thing. And those words together, those of us that bounce back, you know, into say, Okay, I'm going to find a way are going to be here and are going to be happy and the vision will keep going and, you know, again, I want to just come back to these two things. You know, maybe I do have a story. And I think everybody ought to think this way. Yes, I think I think you know, what's the story that you have. And the second and this is really important is I don't focus on what I used to be able to do. And Ruth, thanks for being you. And thanks for being an inspiration to all of us. And muffins and soup. Right? Yeah.Ruth Kinsler21:53Thank you both very much.Ray Loewe21:54All right, everybody, have a great day. And we'll see you in a week with another great guest.

REVISIT: Guest co-host Lisa Wysocky joins Jamie to chat with internet sensation Rebecca Hallowell about what happens when the cinch comes detached from your saddle in the middle of a barrel race, Monty Roberts answers listener questions and bad ads begs us to ask 'What are you doing with that horse?' HORSES IN THE MORNING Episode 2731  – Show Notes and Links:The HORSES IN THE MORNING Crew: Glenn the Geek:  co-host, executive in charge of comic relief, Jamie Jennings:   co-host, director of wacky equestrian adventures, Coach Jenn:  producer, Chaos Control Officer.Guest Co-host:  Lisa WysockyTitle Sponsor:  Kentucky Performance Products Guest: Rebecca HallowellGuest:  Monty RobertsAds Prize this month provided by:  Epona ProductsThere's an App for that!  Download the new FREE Horse Radio Network App for iPhone and AndroidFollow Horse Radio Network on TwitterAdditional support for this podcast provided by:  Ovation Riding &  Listeners Like YouSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/user?u=87421)

REVISIT: Guest co-host Lisa Wysocky joins Jamie to chat with internet sensation Rebecca Hallowell about what happens when the cinch comes detached from your saddle in the middle of a barrel race, Monty Roberts answers listener questions and bad ads begs us to ask 'What are you doing with that horse?' HORSES IN THE MORNING Episode 2731  – Show Notes and Links:The HORSES IN THE MORNING Crew: Glenn the Geek:  co-host, executive in charge of comic relief, Jamie Jennings:   co-host, director of wacky equestrian adventures, Coach Jenn:  producer, Chaos Control Officer.Guest Co-host:  Lisa WysockyTitle Sponsor:  Kentucky Performance Products Guest: Rebecca HallowellGuest:  Monty RobertsAds Prize this month provided by:  Epona ProductsThere's an App for that!  Download the new FREE Horse Radio Network App for iPhone and AndroidFollow Horse Radio Network on TwitterAdditional support for this podcast provided by:  Ovation Riding &  Listeners Like YouSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/user?u=87421)

This week, The Circular Economy! Currently our economy operates in a linear way. Take, Make, Dispose. It's based on the industrial revolution, and we know this way of doing things has limits. Some of those limits we are reaching even today. But there's a different economy we could create. The Circular Economy. This week we explore the ‘Circular Economy' with #1 Circular Economy advocate, Dame Ellen MacArthur. This brand new economy is all about designing out waste and pollution, keeping products and materials in use, and regenerating natural systems. It incentivizes manufacturers to create and maintain better products, stops the Global North from polluting the Global South, and has the potential to regenerate wildlife and ecosystems that are on the brink of collapsing. And with Christiana and Tom out this week, we invite special guest co-host, Catherine Howarth, CEO of Share Action, to discuss what it will take to encourage regenerative economic practices? Are we at a tipping point right now? Is a green, equitable, regenerative global society finally close to our grasp? And later on in the episode, join us for a soulful acoustic performance of “What Can I Do?” by Rachel Sermanni. Thanks for joining us!   —   Christiana + Tom's book ‘The Future We Choose' is available now!   Subscribe to our Climate Action Newsletter: Signals Amidst The Noise   __   Mentioned links from the episode: Universal Ownership by Ellen Quigley Tax Pollution, Not People with Ex'Tax   __   Thank you to our guest this week, Dame Ellen Macarthur!   Dame Ellen MacArthur  Founder and Chair of Trustees | Ellen MacArthur Foundation Twitter   Ellen MacArthur Foundation Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn   __   Our artist this week is Rachel Sermanni! Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | YouTube | Spotify | Website   Live in Bristol or Sheffield? Go See Rachel LIVE Check out her rad music video for “What Can I Do”   —   Thank you to our Guest Co-host, Catherine Howarth!   Catherine Howarth  Chief Executive | ShareAction Twitter | LinkedIn   ShareAction Twitter | Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram | Website   —   Keep up with Christiana Figueres here: Instagram | Twitter   Tom Rivett-Carnac: Instagram | Twitter | LinkedIn   Paul Dickinson: LinkedIn | Twitter   —   Follow @GlobalOptimism on social media and send us a message! Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn   Don't forget to hit SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss another episode of Outrage + Optimism!

“If you knew who walked beside you on this path, fear would be impossible” A Course in Miracles. Andrea is joined by Angel Expert & Guest Co-host Andrew Barker (@tarotwithandrew on Instagram) to talk about everything you've always wanted to know about ANGELS! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/suddenlyseekingspirit/support

In a week that has seen record temperatures occurring throughout the Pacific Northwest of the United States and Canada, a major hurricane that hit Barbados - the first in 60 years - and one of the warmest winters on record down south in New Zealand, this episode looks at the urgent call to action coming from the younger generation. Their call for transformational change applies not only to climate action, but in delivering meaningful social justice action and revaluating and redefining the very notion of leadership itself. Our special guest this week is Katie Eder, Climate Organizer at Future Coalition. She eloquently describes for us the foundational goal of equity that is at the heart of the youth movement. and how she believes transformational change begins with ‘a leaderful movement', and is the way to securing climate and social justice goals. Spoiler Alert: This is the secret to the success of the Paris Agreement. Paul is joined this week by guest co-host, Alice Garton, Legal Director for the Foundation for International Law for the Environment. Alice talks through some climate optimism in regards to recent Australian judicial rulings, as well as an optimistic take on the recent Royal Dutch Shell ruling in the Netherlands. And later on in the episode, join us for a great acoustic performance of “The Woman Who Planted Trees” by Emily Barker. Thanks for joining us!   —   Christiana + Tom's book ‘The Future We Choose' is available now! Subscribe to our Climate Action Newsletter: Signals Amidst The Noise Click here to listen to our previous episode with Wanjira Mathai.   __   Thank you to our guest this week, Katie Eder!   Katie Eder Climate Organizer, Future Coalition Instagram   Future Coalition Website | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook   __   Our artist this week is Emily Barker! Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | YouTube | Website   Check out her latest EP, “Machine”   —   Thank you to our Guest Co-host, Alice Garton!   Alice Garton Director Global Legal Strategy, FILE Twitter | LinkedIn   FILE Foundation Website   Facts and figures on climate litigation: LSE Grantham Global Trends on on Climate Litigation 2021   Links for lawyers and law students looking to use the law to progress the climate transition: Law Students for Climate Accountability Net Zero Lawyers Alliance The Chancery Lane Project PILNET A4ID   Links for citizens looking to participate in climate litigation: Urgenda Global Climate Litigation Holding Your Government's Accountable for Climate Change Climate Litigation Guide   Australian SHARMA case: Equity Generation Lawyers   Fiduciary Duty: Primer on Climate Change: Directors Duties ACCR commentary on Shell Transition Plan   What citizens Can Do: Wiki Page   —   Keep up with Christiana Figueres here: Instagram | Twitter   Tom Rivett-Carnac: Instagram | Twitter | LinkedIn   Paul Dickinson: LinkedIn | Twitter   —   Follow @GlobalOptimism on social media and send us a message! Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn   Don't forget to hit SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss another episode of Outrage + Optimism!

This is what we yapping about in this episode. AD is out paying some dues, So GP's wife Max filled the shoes of Guest Co-host for this episode. (1:19) Max talk about her week shopping and realizing how HOT the weather is. (1:54) GP took a tumble and injured his foot. (2:40) A man wins the lottery and claim his winnings in a scream mask. (4:19) Trick daddy speak his opinion about Beyoncé and Jay-z and the bee hive went on the attack! (9:55) Quick Bits talking real news, sort of fast. (20:01) GP talk with Max about her online boutique store called Maximum Taste!  Then we talk about Loki episode 3, "Lamentis". (Spoilers) (34:59) Time for the good Positive Chakra! (43:27) Yell outs before we head out. (45:13) Check out Max store Maximum Taste Accessories (maximumtaste1.com) Facebook Maximum Taste | Facebook Instagram Maximum Taste Accessories (@maximumtaste1) • Instagram photos and videos Rate, Follow, Like, and Subscribe! You can find everything about the show here. https://linktr.ee/Callitlikeidontseeit    

Ever had a vision for how you wanted to live your life but held yourself back from taking the leap because of internal limits that you have placed on yourself? Yes? Us too! We are often so trapped in the lives that we believe we are ‘supposed to have that we never leap into the lives we deserve! On this week’s episode, April and Shari sit down with a good friend Deidre Burch (@blacktopoland) of writer and creator of BlacktoPoland Blog! On this show, they discuss living a life based on our own rules. Deidre chats about her decision to leave nursing and move to Poland for love and adventure. She talks about the importance of chasing your dreams, seizing the day, and leaping into your life! The media minute is filled with a fun chat about catching flights during the pandemic, bonnet etiquette, and the correct word pronunciations! For more information on our Guest Co-host find Deidre on her website at: www.blacktopoland.com. She can also be found on Facebook and Instagram! Be sure to like, comment on, subscribe to, and share the show!

Guest Co-host:  Kevin Davis:  kevinkaera@comcast.netPodcast Guest:  Steve Franklin:  sgfranklin@bellsouth.net Transcription:Kris Parsons00:02Welcome to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do it too. Join us with your life. The host Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world.Ray Loewe00:17Hello, everybody. This is Ray Loewe. And I'm sitting here in scenic Woodbury, New Jersey, at the Wildfire Podcast Studios with our engineer Taylor, who makes sure that everything runs in the background so that we can focus on our guests. And we've got a great co-host today and an incredible guest. And let me start off by recapping real quickly that we are working with the luckiest people in the world and the luckiest people in the world are those people who take the time to personally redesign their own lives and live them under their own terms. And, Kevin, let me introduce Kevin Davis. He's been our co-host for this month. And he has a good friend of his Steve Franklin, who's going to join us in a minute. And Kevin, thanks for being with us. Say hi.Kevin Davis01:08Hey, Ray, thanks so much for having me again. This has been a lot of fun. And I'm really excited about the conversation we're gonna have today.Ray Loewe01:16Yeah, you know, and I want to build on something you and I did a special podcast and extra one because we wanted to focus on knowing what you want, and how important it is to being one of the luckiest people in the world. Because if you don't know what you want, you don't know where you're going. And if you don't know where you're going, you can't design the life that you want. And what we found is that those people who truly are lucky, are able to redesign their lives constantly, no matter what life throws at that. And, here were five factors that keep coming up. And we're going to explore some of these with Steve Franklin. But one is purpose. They all have a Purpose Driven Life. They know who they are, they know where they're going from that standpoint. They have a mission, they're involved with helping others is not just themselves. They have a series of values, they know what their values are. And every time they have to make a decision, they go back to their values. They know what they're good at, and where their passions lie. And they don't do things that aren't going to keep them exciting and interested. And last but not least I and this is the most important I think that culminates in everything at the end of the day, they want to like their day. And that doesn't mean that everything goes perfect in the day, but it does mean that they get joy out of having achieved. And Kevin before you introduce Steve, I have a quick story I want to tell. Okay, I'm a competitive swimmer. And I was down at the National Senior Games in Birmingham, Alabama about I guess is about three years ago now. And after I did my swimming thing, I'm wandering around and I see this guy, and he's carrying six medals around with him. And what's important is that five of them were gold, and one was silver. And I later quite a haul, yeah, quite a haul and more important. You'll see. When I got a chance to meet John and talk to him. I found out that he won his medals in the 100 to 104 age group. Wow. Yeah. This leads into what Steve Frankel is going to talk about. The interesting thing is at age 103, he won his medals in the shot put, the javelin, the discus, the hammer throw, and you know, I can't even pick these things up. And he lost one of that to a crummy 101-year-old whippersnappers. Yeah. And you know, when I came out of that experience, I thought about two things. I mean, first of all, is if I'm lucky enough to live to be 100. Am I going to be the 100-year old that's winning medals in and out celebrating with his friends? Or am I going to be the 100-year-old sitting in a wheelchair in a nursing home? And then the second revelation is, you know, I think there's a really good chance that many of us will live to be 100. And so what are you going to do with the rest of your life? How are you going to make it count? Are you just going to sit on the golf course and wile away your time? So Kevin, why don't you introduce Steve, and we know that Steve introduced a whole bunch of people over 100 so he can comment on my story?Kevin Davis04:37Yeah, thanks. Well, you know, Ray, it's great to have Steve Franklin, Steve and I go back a number of years. We worked together for a number of years and had a lot of fun doing that. He is and for those of our listeners who have heard me talk about barbecue before. Steve is he's my barbecue mentor. He is the one who taught me how to  smoke and just got me down a path that has been so much fun in life. So I'm sure we'll have to talk about some of that along the way. But you know, Steve kind of falls into that category of what's I term a renaissance person. He's done a number of things. But never just the normal way that this idea of why not go out and talk to people who have gained great wisdom by living life started a number of years ago. And so Steve, thanks so much for being with us. today. It's great to have you on the podcast.Steve Franklin05:35Ah, Kevin, and Ray. Thank you what an honor really is, Ray, it's good to hear your voice. And again, it's been a while but golly, great to be on your program. Well, I gained a Ray, yeah, by the way, I'll bet my bank account, you'll be one of those centenarians still swimming laps well into your hundreds.Ray Loewe05:53Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether I make it to 100 or not, but I'm certainly not going to shut off life. Making up my mind that I'm not going to make it there.Steve Franklin06:04It's a good goal to have. I mean, it's just got me started this adventure. Her goal was to live to be 120. I had lunch with her on her 107th birthday, she died not too long after that, hey, she made 107 out of 120. Good for her, she said, Look, it's just a good goal doesn't matter whether you make or not, it's a good goal.Ray Loewe06:19Yeah, so  tell us a little bit about your Emory University, I think, if you're on the faculty then, but you had this project and this goals, so once you refresh my memory on what you did.Steve Franklin06:33I was at Emory, actually, a couple of times, I was a tenured professor there for a number of years and went out and say, to see if I could do what I taught, you know, remember the old saying those who can't teach. So I want to make sure I could do what I taught. And I did was in business, went back as the associate dean of the business school and later I was involved in the industry in the financial services industry. And that's really where I got the idea of interviewing all these people, you know, you've got all these financial seminars, Ray? You've been to plenty of them, they'd have the economist talk about, or the economy or a banker talk about interest rates or something. And I got to think, got so bored with all of that. And I happened to sit down with a woman one day who was 94. At the time, I thought she was 70. And she invited me to 100 birthday party six years from then. And she said I'm serious. I said, Okay, great. And I kind of forgot about it. Six years later, she called me and said, Hey, I'll be 100 next week, her name is Katherine Durnell. Are you coming to my party, I said, I'm coming. She was in Lincoln, Nebraska, got on a plane, flew out there, interviewed her, danced with her, dined with her, laughed with her we just had a ball. And I got to thinking as a professor, having done a lot of research, I said, you know, shame on me, if I don't collect the wisdom of her and many other centenarians and share it with the younger generation, does man to the young, younger generation need to hear this wisdom. But that's what started at all, I just started to interview people. And over, over about eight years traveling all over the country, I interviewed I videotaped over 225 centenarians and dozens of other phone call conversations. And then we surveyed about a total of about 550, asking them to fill out a lengthy questionnaire. So from that, you know, came up with a book called celebrate 100 centenarians secrets to success in life and business. And so it's just was a wonderful journey, learn so much about their thoughts and wisdom, about money, about work, about life, about politics, about family, you name it.Ray Loewe08:19Incredible. You know, and I know when you gave that presentation for a group of my clients, it was just so motivating. And all of a sudden, it just opened up this horizon of saying, you know,you got to think about the future, and you got to make it count. Right. So, you know, tell us a story or two about some of the more interesting people that you ran into, and what they're thinking about. You got it, you got a couple-three hours. I'll give you a couple. The short version.Steve Franklin08:52Let me give you a quick context, Ray, you know, as I did this with your group, too, you may recall, and when I always start these presentations, I'll say, I want everybody to get a number in their mind to what age do you think you will live? To what age do you think you will live? And I get a number that I will call on people? What do you and the average number across all of America, Cali several 10s of 1000s people I spoke to is 85? Most of most people have in their mind, the average is I think I'll make it 85. And then I qualify that say now let me ask a question. If you were healthy can still swim laps or rent walk or whatever. And if you're financially well off enough to live, you know, a lifestyle you would like to how is how long would you like to live? Well, of course, 99% of people want to live to be 100 or more. So that's a good context. I think again, hundreds of good goal to have. But golly, I could just go Let me I mentioned a couple of First of all, Walter Bruning at the time. He was according to the Guinness Book of World Records the longest are the oldest man in the world. He was 114 at the time. Throughout the Great Falls, Montana spent the day with Walter. He woke up every morning very early, got on a suit and tie came down to This wonderful senior home that he was living in, would have breakfast, go over his mail, walk down to the bank, come back, have lunch, and he went up at two o'clock every day. And that was it. I mean, e only ate two meals a day and he listened to talk radio, the rest of the day, went to bed about eight o'clock. Well, when he turned 114 is the world's oldest man, of course, the governor of the state got hold of it, and said, and so he goes over to the house at about 3:20 in the afternoon. They call up and say, Walter, the governor is here he wants to see he said, I don't see anybody after two o'clock. They said but Walters, the governor, he said, Tell the governor, I don't see anybody after two o'clock, come back tomorrow. The governor went back to the Capitol. He came back the next day before two o'clock. So I love that. But another quick one on Walter. I asked Walter what he did. He was in the railroad business for 50 years. They made him retire 65. He hated to retire. He hated to retire. And so he said, so I kept working here in Great Falls. I did work for nonprofits. And he was an accountant and financial kind of guy, he said, but in 99, I decided I need to quit doing two things. So what was that? He said, Well, I decided I need to quit working. I need to quit smoking. He gave up smoking at 99 two packs of lucky strikes every day. He said, but I think quitting early has contributed to my longevity. I'll tell everybody, if it goes smoke, make sure you start knocking off at 99 or whatever. But Walter was a great guy. Just just. And he had a blog. He started a blog at 112. Ray, think about that. He started blogging at 112. At 114. You could get on the blog and ask Walter any question. And then he had an opinion about everything. So one of my real heroes in that group. Another lady, let's see Mary Tyler. She was the world's oldest living Girl Scout lived in Southern California. Marian's name was Marian Tyler and at 88. She did a 45-minute video called Marianatics. And where it was kind of like yoga and exercise or whatever at 88 gave me a copy of the DVD. And at the time, I was probably what 60 something. I went home and it wore me out, you know, but she was going strong at 104 living in her own home gardening in the back, just one of the world's oldest living Girl Scout at the time. So again, just a wonderful lady. Oh my goodness, one of the questions I asked is this is important for your listeners, which I think is to your point, right of having a purpose I and one of the questions I asked him, I said if you had your life to live over again, would you have liked to have done something different than what you do? And they have, they had done all kinds of things, and a lot of jobs that you and I might consider quote-unquote, mundane 82% of them said no, I would have done the exact same thing. I loved what I did. And so loving what you do, I think is a real key to longevity, I really, really believe that. They just they slowly you know 18%  saying Yeah, I'd like to maybe been a radio talk show host like you or a financial adviser or a pilot or an astronaut or something like that. But 82% of them actually loved what they did. Another question I asked I thanks very important for your listening audience is this. I said if you had your life to live over again, what is one or two things you wish you had done more of? What's a couple of things you wish you had done more. And the number one by far was they said, I wish I had traveled more. I wish I had gone to more places in the country. In the world, I could have. I had the money to I had the health too. But I just was lethargic. I didn't set goals and put it on my bucket list and go do it. The number two behind that was I wish I had read more or learned more not gotten more college degrees. But I just wish I had read more books, read more magazines, which had gone to more classes to learn things in which it tied perfectly with what I used to tell my students and Emery Ray and Kevin, I said, Look, you and I are a composite of three things in life, the books we read, the people we meet, and the places we go. That's what we're made up of the books we read, the people we meet, and the places we go. So do as much of all three as you can. And the centenarians nail that when I asked him if you could be more and lived your life over again, do more. They both said they wish they travel more and read more books or articles or whatever. So I think it's very important  for your audience to know.Ray Loewe14:51Yeah, you know, let me turn this around a little bit. So you did all these interviews. It was part of a project you were doing. I don't know what you're motivation was for doing that at the time. But you obviously personally benefited from these interviews and meetings. So when you look at things and all the people that you talk to, how did this affect your life and where you're going in your life?Steve Franklin15:18Yeah. Well, you know, I've always kind of been a goal setter, but it really had me it really one of the things that is really Catherine Brunel was the one that really got I set a goal to be 120. Kevin knows that you may remember that. That's my goal. And it really is a good goal to have. I mean, it comes down to Janet here. She said, Genesis six, three, it says, everybody, we live in eight or 900 years. And if you read the Old Testament book of Genesis, it says, My spirit will continue with humankind for 120 years. She said, Look, I don't care whether I'm making it on not, it's a good goal to have God said it, I believe it I'm going to go for and she made it to 107. So I thought it was kind of cool, mixing a little bit of biblical theology in with a lifetime goal of life expectancy. So my goal is 120. So it because I had always thought about, it'd be nice to live to be 100. But now I have a very definite goal that I want. And I tell everybody, I know that my goal. is to live to be 120. That's the goal. And unlike Katherine, it doesn't matter whether I make it or not, but it's a darn good goal to have. That's one thing. The second thing I learned was that they were masters, they were masters at managing stress. You know, that wonderful Serenity Prayer, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. They are masters of embracing that prayer because the only thing you can change is yourself, you can't change anybody else. And so, most all, and by the way, they live through some pretty stressful times in life, if you think about it. World War One, they lived through the Great Depression, they lived through World War Two. I mean, these people did not live stress-free, free lives, but they really, they really learned to just manage stress very well. And it's really helped me a lot to just realize it you know, there's really nothing is really that big a deal. Another thing it did financially speaking is, is and when I asked them, you know, one of the things about giving us your wisdom about money, you know, you all have you lived through the Great Depression. And they were all in teenagers or young or in their 20s a number of them as they were living through the depression. One lady said, she said, I live by the three Do's make do, do without, and do-over. Make do, do without, and do-over. So I think I probably learned to be a bit more frugal myself a bit more sensitive to being a little random  with my money. They all say said pay cash. They hated that that was a nasty four-letter word to centenarians. They hated debt, you know, most all of them were debt, all of them were debt-free, very few, even a very few pay for anything. Except for with cash. And so, I sort of go by that, mantra now I've got an I'm debt-free, you pay for almost everything cash, pay off our credit cards at the end of every month. So I have no debt so that I don't live with that stress. And think about if you live without any debt, most of your life, you're going to be a lot less stressed and which may contribute to your longevity. Another thing they taught me was, and Kevin knows this, I've really had about 16 careers. And they because they all said they loved what they did and, and I have always when I got bored doing something, I went and did something else. And I've always loved what I've done. And I've told people I said, Look, if you're loving what you do, you have eight hours of your day is lousy. The other eight hours a day that you're awake are gonna be wonderful. But if you're loving what you do eight to 10 hours a day, probably the other eight or 10 hours a day are really gonna be fine. So I've really pursued that I've always done what I've enjoyed doing and what I quite enjoy doing. Like you said some of that mundane days, but I've always stayed focused on enjoying what I do. So those are some very practical personal. And, and man I am traveling, all I can. Now two years ago, my wife and I celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary, we did a 44 day around-the-world trip. We went from Atlanta, the ship to Japan to China to Hong Kong to Cambodia to Vietnam to Singapore to India to Dubai. You name it, man. So we're going to see all of this Earth that we can before we get slapped in the face with a shovel.Ray Loewe15:19Yeah, that's cool. You know one other quick story and then I want to get back to your stuff. Sandy and I were in Antarctica a few years ago and we met a couple of down there that one of the days didn't come on one of our side trips that we went on to and it's an expensive trip so everybody does everything. And the short version of it is they said you know, we put off taking this trip too long, not realizing that we have to be physically healthy to do some things. And we, we didn't have the money we needed, we saved the money. Now we have all the money when we want, we can't walk up the hill to see the penguins. And it's so significant to do what you can when you can, you know, what have you changed? Now, you've gone through this career at Emory where you were doing all this research, what are you doing now?Steve Franklin20:28Well, it's great. I finished working for money, let's just say eight and a half years ago, you know, finished up in the financial services business we did four successful rates and hung it up. And I had a wonderful ministry called North Point ministries, they that it's a it's an interesting organization, it has eight or 10 churches in the Atlanta area, but it supports probably 75, all types of nonprofit ministries throughout the Atlanta area, and all throughout the United States in about six or seven foreign countries. And so and this was really neat that the Lead Pastor of that organization a guy named Andy Stanley he and the executive pastor said, you know, we do a great job helping people who are struggling with finances, you know, the ones that are really you know, surviving, struggling, we've got all kinds of great resources to help them get out of debt, get on a budget, pay off credit cards, you know, all of those sort of things. But we do nothing, we do nothing. For people who are in that, let's call it that cert, that that that stable to surplus stage of life that you and I are in, right? I mean, we're in a stable surplus age you say, we assume all those people fine they got plenty of money, they're gonna retire, they got no issues and whatever. And we did nothing to really focus on them to help them be let's just say, enjoy their retirement more, be more strategic with their generosity, he said, I'd like you to come on board and see if we can develop some environment, some irresistible environments, that would help these people be more strategic in their stable surplus years, that second half of their life. So I spend my time now with a lot of people, most of them I would say are in their late 50s, 60s and early 70s. But a goodly number of people in their young people in their 30s talking about once you get to that finish line, whatever your retirement goal is all those sorts of things. How can you be more strategic in your generosity to give away money so that you really do jokingly say die with a smile on your face? A good friend of mine, Ron Blue says do you're living while you're, do your giving while you're living. So you're knowing where it's going, you know, we're not telling you that there's going to be a meeting about your money. And either you can be present or you won't be. So let's get strategic about being generous with what you got now in the stable surplus years. And so I do a lot of that do one on one meetings, I do a lot of group meetings, I bring in various speakers to talk about that. Just really, really a fulfilling kind of self-actualizing chapter of my life.Ray Loewe22:57Oh, cool. So we're, unfortunately near the end of our podcast time. So do you have any final comments you want to make before we have to break off?Steve Franklin23:08Ah, you know, pay cash for everything. Get out of debt, love what you do. And if you're not finding what it is that you're doing? And just be nice to people,Ray Loewe23:18and sharing your wisdom in some way, maybe some money is a good thing too, isn't it? Absolutely. Cool. Kevin, any last comments that you have?Kevin Davis23:28So I just got to say, you know, along with this, do things now right and enjoy some of what you have now. For anyone coming to Atlanta reach out to Steve or I because you got to come to Das barbecue. There's a couple of them now. Steve's son, Steven started them legitimately. And I'm not just saying this legitimately, probably the best barbecue joint in Atlanta. And that's saying something. But you know, enjoy life a bit. Bring a friend. Let's go have a fun conversation about your passions. And did you notice the theme this common thread over the last three or four podcasts Ray of people who, who didn't talk to each other ahead of time, which I think's interesting about how when you're others-focused, whether it's giving of your time or giving of your money? It seems like there's an immense amount of joy that comes from that. Isn't that interesting? Right? Yeah. Ray Loewe24:27And we're gonna dwell on that going forward. You know, Kevin, you've been a great co-host. I really appreciate your time and your energy. And you know, our next podcast, we're gonna have another co-host. And his name is Jeff Wuorio. He's a ghostwriter. And he's helping me write my next book as we speak. So that'll open up some interesting stories and some interesting opportunities to, to search into life. So everybody, thanks so much for being with us. Thanks, Steve Franklin. You know You got me excited about older age and by the way, I'm going to live to be 154. That's a good number. A good number I like that. All right, great, everybody. Have a great day. And we'll see you all again next week. Thank you much.Kris Parsons25:18Thank you for listening to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do that too. Join us with your lively host of Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world. 

Guest Co-host:  Kevin Davis:  kevinkaera@comcast.netPodcast Guest:  colavito711@gmail.comJoe's Website:  https://www.gojourneylife.com/ Transcription:Kris Parsons00:01Welcome to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do it too. Join us with your lively host Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world.Ray Loewe00:15Good morning, everybody. This is Ray Loewe. And I'm sitting here in scenic Woodbury, New Jersey, with our engineer Taylor, who's going to make sure that everything runs well today, as he always does. And we're going to be talking to a couple today of the luckiest people in the world. And if you remember correctly, the luckiest people in the world are those people who take the time to personally design their own lives. And then they live them under their own terms. And when you think about it, what could be better than to be able to take control of your own life and live it under your terms. There's no better way that I know of to make your life get better and better and better. And the name of our show is changing the rules and the luckiest people in the world often have to change a lot of the rules. You know, we've got a whole lot of rules put on us. And they accumulate from childhood all the way through adulthood, and the luckiest people in the world are able to sift through and sort through those rules and choose those that are important and significant to them. Because when you're living your life under somebody else's rules, you're not living your own life. So today, we're fortunate enough, we have Kevin Davis, co-host, and Kevin is our guest for this entire month. And Kevin and I did a couple of podcasts over the last couple of weeks. And Kevin, say hello to everybody.Kevin Davis01:44Ray, thanks so much for having me back. I mean, you never know after the last one, but it is an honor to be here co-hosting with you. And I'm excited about it.Ray Loewe01:52Oh, come on. The last one was a great podcast because you and I got a chance to talk a little bit about how the luckiest people in the world know what they want. And you know, you really can't design your own life unless you know what you want. And you and I were able to talk about a couple of these five points, and I'm going to bring up. The luckiest people in the world are able to design their own lives and to be able to float as life throws things at them. Because their lives are purpose-based. They're mission-based. They're values-based. And they're based on the excellence that they bring to the table with their skill levels. And the final thing is they kind of culminate in people being able to truly like their day. So, Kevin, you introduced me to this guy by the name of Colavito that we have on here today, a good number of years ago. And he's an extraordinary, extraordinarily interesting guy. So why don't you take a minute and introduce them to our guests, and then let's start putting him on the spot and seeing if we can get tips on how to get more meaning out of our lives.Kevin Davis03:11Well, super, thanks. So I'm really excited that we have Joe Colavito. With us today, Joe and I have known each other for years had the just the privilege and pleasure of working together at a company in the past. And you know, there's a lot of things I could say about Joe and his career. But maybe if we boil it all down, you know, Joe just loves people. And if you meet him, he's just one of those guys where you don't want that time to end. And I'm sure you're going to get some of that energy through the podcast today. So Joe, thanks so much for joining us today. It's great to have you here on the podcast.Joe Colavito03:47Hey, it's my pleasure, Ray. And Kevin, thanks for having me. And as you know, I love changing the rules.Ray Loewe03:55No, you love really beating up the rules, I think?Joe Colavito04:00Well as my old boss, who Kevin knows, yeah, Doug Buse used to say, I thought the rules were simply suggestions.Kevin Davis04:09They're not news to me.Ray Loewe04:12You know, I'm gonna have to get a t-shirt made up with that. The rules are simply suggestions. I think that's great. You know, let me start out from it. Because Colavito means full of life.Joe Colavito04:25Yes, it does. And some say that I'm full of life and others say that I'm full of it. Yeah.Ray Loewe04:32Well, both are pertinent for this podcast today. So, let's kind of get into some of the stories that you have and some of the things that you can tell us about purpose. And I think that's probably the one thing that we ought to focus on today is because I know a lot of what your firm is based on and what you do in coaching people is to help them find out what their purpose really is so start the conversation for us, Joe.Joe Colavito05:04Yeah, and I think that you know, for the listener, I hope that this encourages you because you have a purpose. You can know what it is. And it's already been something you've been doing. You just didn't have the words to define it.Kevin Davis05:22So that's a wonderful opener, Joe. Unpack that for me. You're teasing me right now.Joe Colavito05:30Yeah, so I'm going to start with a high-level definition, and then I'll take it down to ground level. Does that work?Kevin Davis05:36Yeah, that'd be great. Joe Colavito05:37Okay, so my high-level definition of purpose is that it's your reason for being and your built-in navigation system. So if you can clarify your purpose, you can simplify your path career in life, and you can amplify your fulfillment and impact. That's the high level. Ray Loewe05:57Okay, so you have some examples of that. I think you gave us a couple of stories when we were talking before. Ah, I'm gonna pick on somebody Dennis.Joe Colavito06:08Yeah, so Dennis entered my life. Right when COVID was shutting down the world. I was introduced to him and you can't make this stuff up by a gentleman by the name of Joe Hope. And Joe Hope called Joe Colavito. So hope called full of life, and said, Hey, got a guy that is in a bit of a tough season. He's an amazing man, loves his wife, loves his four-year-old daughter. But he senses that he's lost a bit of his purpose and value. Because right after setting up his deer hunting stand in the middle of the night, he was riding his ATV back along the same path he had gotten thereon. And he woke up in the hospital unaware that the rain had washed out the road. And he was paralyzed from the waist down.Ray Loewe06:56Oh, wow. And this is full of hope. Right? Joe Colavito06:59Well, this is Joe hope introduced me to Dennis right. And so Dennis basically is a great guy. But suddenly, the rules have changed. And the rules have not been changed by him. They've been changed by his physical condition, he can no longer do what he did, which was to scale ladders and be on roofs and fix HVAC systems. He actually Kevin was in one of the large class A office buildings in Atlanta that our former company used to own gotcha. Okay. What a small world how it comes back, right. And so here's the statement that changed everything for me, you know, and about this time last year, he literally said, so I just can't go find a job because I don't have the value that I had before. And I was able to look him in the eye virtually and say, Hey, Dennis, I need you to write this down. Your identity has not changed. Your purpose has not changed. And your value has skyrocketed. Do you know how many people are out there that needs somebody like you who's been through trauma and tragedy, but has learned to make a full comeback and experience life's full potential? How many people need you in their corner? You can do so much more for him than I can. Man, you're more valuable than I am? And I could sense him being reinflated. Yeah. So Wow. Ray Loewe08:34So this is what you do for people or two people. Is that correct? Joe? Joe Colavito08:39Yeah, I prefer four versus two. It sounds so victimized. Ray Loewe08:43Well, sometimes, you know, we need to be done to Okay, just because we don't see the values on the table. And, and I think values and purpose are things that you have to search and find they just don't show up all the time, the way we would like to see them.Joe Colavito09:03Yeah, which actually Ray a great segue, before I forget, let me take you back to the ground level definition of purpose, which is why I can confidently say that everyone has one, you can know what it is, you can clearly define it and you can live it out. Okay. So purpose is an individual's unique design to improve the status quo for others. That's it. So everyone's making it complicated. They're talking about how you have to find it, they're attaching it to their work, you know, they're misdefining purpose, which is causing them to miss the fulfillment and impact that comes from purpose. So it's just an individual's unique design to improve the status quo for others. And Dennis can do that better. Having been through that trial, then it could before.Kevin Davis09:49Now, Joe, what's interesting to me, is that's a very others-centered statement. It's not about me, it's about what I can do for others. And I think that's very, very powerful.Joe Colavito10:05Yeah, and that's Kevin you're quick and you're sharp and so is Ray, right? That's the difference-maker when I focus on me, a, it's boring, be it can be quite, you know, depressing. And you can start to just kind of corkscrew yourself down into self-pity, depending on your circumstances. But when I'm always focused on others, and I'm trying to fulfill my purpose, then all I have to do no matter what was happening in COVID is reach out to one person that's hurting more than I am, and then lifting them up. And this is a principle when you lift others up, you rise with them.Ray Loewe10:44So we all ought to do right, we ought to be aware of the value of others, and we ought to be aware of what we can do for others and not what we can do for us.Joe Colavito10:57Absolutely. But the first thing you have to be aware of is how do you show up in the world? So what is your gift? So I'll share mine just because it might help. So my purpose is to encourage everyone to experience life's full potential. Now, wouldn't that make sense given that my last name is full of life? So I just want everyone to experience life's full potential. But that's not enough having that defined? Does the world no good? Does me no, good. So what I am and you guys are we're men of action, right? So what I do is I anchor that purpose with a promise. So I attach a promise that activates it and every conversation situation. And here's my promise. My promise is to never let you settle for less. Settle for less than what experiencing life's full potential. Whoops, we just looped around, and it starts to feel like the flywheel is going Whoosh.Ray Loewe11:49Yeah. So give us a couple more stories and examples. You know, Mr. De shows up every once in a while in your stuff.Joe Colavito12:00Yeah, well, you know, Mr. D is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and actually want to thank Steve Franklin, who I believe you've got coming up on your show. In a while. Dr. Steve Franklin had this brilliant idea to go interview 100 100-year-olds. And when he realized, you know what a large task that was I begged him to let me go out in the field with a video camera. And I ran into Mr. D. So Mr. D is the only person in the world that's ever looked up to me. That's of adult age. That's for the listener. That's because I'm five foot six, with shoes on, yeah. Okay, so Mr. D, I meet him in his, you know, assisted living home, I see his 12 by 12 room, very modest. With a couple of beautiful pieces of artwork on the wall, He leads me over to the general store that actually has his grandfather's general store sign hanging in it. And I watch him basically fill out a little yellow ledger, as, as the patron start to come in and buy, you know, little supplies or a coke or a candy bar. And at the end of the day, he's got $37.50 tallied up from the general store. And I asked him, so what do you do with that? And he says, Oh, I do what I've done my whole life. I give it away. I'm like, okay, back up for a second. Tell me more about your life. And he goes on to tell me about his father who was from Cuba, and a master cigar roller, and he moved to the plant in Tampa, which is where Mr. D grew up. And Mr. D used to shine shoes in front of the cigar factory. Brown ones were a nickel, black ones were a dime, have no idea why it was different. And at the end of the day, he would maybe have you know, $1 -$1.25 in his pocket, he would take it home to his mother and give it to her. And I asked, well, didn't you buy like an ice cream on the way home or a piece of candy or anything for yourself? He goes, No, I just got so much joy by giving it to my mother. That followed him all the way through when he had his first home and too many fruit trees in the backyard to eat all the fruit. He hung it in little bags on his neighbor's doorsteps. When he painted 84 pictures, he was a renaissance man. Later on in his later life. He painted 84 amazing oil paintings. There was one left in his room and two left in the store. Yes, he'd given the other 81 away. But the most amazing part of Mr. D's story. And the reason I share this last is what I want you to learn as a listener is we all should learn something from the way that Mr. D rolled. Yeah, sure. He rolled 200 cigars every day by hand. But the way he rolled was everything he received, he gave away freely. Oh, and by the way, his cigars were pretty good. There was this guy and Kevin, I might need, I lose my memory sometimes. He hand-rolled them he put them in a box he addressed it himself and he sent them off. The guy's first name was Winston and I never get the last name right?Kevin Davis15:05Wasn't even English dude. Yeah, he had something to do with the war. Church something right. When I Wins, Oh, yeah, it was Winston Churchill. Oh, yeah, that Winston.Joe Colavito15:17Yeah. So in addition to rolling cigars for Winston Churchill, he also had a number of other famous people that would come to the back gauges to smoke one with him. And so like you, Ray, he found his joy in getting to talk to interesting people every day.Kevin Davis15:34That, you know, you said something in there that's so profound, you know, that he shared, he found joy in giving. Wow, I mean, that's if you think of everyone wants joy, they want happiness, they want satisfaction. And he learned early on, Joy is in way more in giving than and getting, profound wisdom there.Joe Colavito15:59He just reminded me of something, Kevin, I'll keep it brief. Mr. D was so talented, in addition to the oil paintings, and as he was waiting for new patrons to come in, he would take you know, the plastic bag, we all get at the grocery store that we wad up and they take over our pantry or some other container. Yeah, His hands were so talented that he could take one of those bags. And while he was talking with you, without ever taking his eye off of you, he would fold it down to the size of a cigar and it would not move. That's amazing. And I was like, blown away. So while he's doing that, I'm like, in addition to painting, you know, is there anything else you did? He goes, Oh, yeah, I built my own house. I did the electrical. I did the plumbing. He says, but I always love to sing. I'm like, okay, I've only got three minutes of tape left. What can you sing for me? And he's saying it's a wonderful world. And it literally lit me up. Like I was at a concert, I'd paid $1,000 to be in the front row.Ray Loewe16:56Now how old was Mr. D? Where was he in the in a span of life here?Joe Colavito17:02He was okay. He was 105.Ray Loewe17:05Amazing. And so here he was 105. And he's still doing so he can give things away.Joe Colavito17:13He's waking up at 430 every morning to pop popcorn. And to make coffee so that when the store opens at 730, everything will have the smell and the look that he wants it to have and he'll be ready to serve right out of the gate. So 430 to 530. He preps goes back to bed for an hour gets up, does his prayers, and opens the store at seven every day at 105.Ray Loewe17:36Okay, so what other interesting people have you met along the way over here? That's an open-ended question. Yeah, I can see it with Dan 100 miler.Joe Colavito17:52You know, Dan's a common friend of Kevin, and I probably a worthwhile conversation. Yeah. You know, when I first met Dan, Kevin, he was, you know, an internal wholesaler as you were. And it wasn't until we had relationship for a few years that it kind of came to be known that he was a crazy Dan. I mean, crazy man. He was, you know, running these 100 miles, you know, ultra marathons.Kevin Davis18:18Yeah, on purpose, I might add, that wasn't an accident, it actually looked for them and went out and did them. He's a nut.Joe Colavito18:23Actually signed up for them. And so recently, my path recrossed with Dan, and so this isn't really a story that I was there for Ray, but I think it's an awesome story. So would you mind if I shared it?Ray Loewe18:36Go go go, go.Joe Colavito18:41Okay, so Dan, in his first 100-mile race, it's called the bear 100 out in the mountains of Utah. It's just a casual, 23,000 feet of elevation change while you run 100 miles all the way through the darkness of the night. Kevin Davis18:56I don't think my car could do that, Joe.Joe Colavito18:59Exactly. Exactly. Right. So at the 18-mile mark, he's running on his own, it's been much harder than he thought it was going to be the elevation changes early and they're trying to get people to drop out if they don't have the endurance to stay in it. And here's footsteps behind me turns around, and a lifelong friendship is created. The quick version of that story is Fad Gillum runs up behind Dan Wilkins. There's 80 runners in the race from all over the world. And Dan says go ahead and pass me and Fad says No, I'm good man. And Dan says, No, seriously, you're younger, go ahead and pass me and Fad says what's going to become a legacy-making statement? No, I like the pace you're running at. By the time that race ends, they've been lost in the woods because some hunter took pink ribbons off of the trees because it was ruining his elk hunt. And they find their way back onto the path. They finish in 28 hours, 15 minutes, and 13 seconds hand in hand photo finish so they could experience the victory of kind of winning at the same time. Okay, fast forward the tape they now host a race called Hell and back. And Dan just let me in on this private story. I hope he doesn't mind me sharing it. He's at the 60-mile mark. Fad is not running in this race, even though they typically run these together ever since that moment, you know, several years ago, and Fad shows up unannounced at the 60-mile marker. Dan is hurting. He takes Dan's shoes off, he takes his socks off. He pours cold water over his feet, he dries his feet, he puts new socks on new sneakers on. And then he says Dan, I'm going to be your Pacer for the last 40 miles. I'm going to run the race with you. All right, let me fast forward, what we do is we teach people how to live and work on purpose. And the first step is you've got to go back through your trials and your triumphs within the context of your identity so that you can get to a purpose that is clearly defined. That could only define you It couldn't define anyone else in the world, because there's only one of you. And here it is you ready. This is Dan. My purpose is to be a pacer for others to run with endurance toward joy. Because only an ultramarathoner who has created a race called hell and back would know how to do that. And his promises to always remind you why you entered the race. So let me just play that out real quickly for you guys. Hey, Dan, I'm struggling with Debbie, it's over. I'm going to get a divorce. How do you fulfill your purpose? He says, Well, first of all, I remind you that you know, a marriage is a race. Your career is a race, parenting is a race, everything's an ultramarathon. It wasn't supposed to be easy. So run with endurance toward joy. And I see Yeah, that's nice, Dan, but I'm still going to get the divorce papers, I'm calling the attorney. And he says, Hey, let me keep my promise to you. I'm always going to remind you why you entered the race. Tell me, when you first met Debbie, what was it like when you first had Jessica, talk to me about what you know, were the best years of your marriage, you're gonna give all that up. So and I could go on and on a person comes into him at work and says I'm thinking of leaving, he can have the same conversation, he can see somebody who's lost a job, no matter what conversation situation there is. There's one purpose, there's five missions, family, friends, career, community because you are one person navigating on purpose in all situations. And Dan's awesome at it.Ray Loewe22:29You know, we're unfortunately, we're getting near the end of our time, time flies when you're having fun over here, but if you had to look at this concept of purpose, how many people percentage-wise in this country really have a grasp on what their purpose is?Joe Colavito22:47I wouldn't be able to put a percentage on it. But I'm going to tell you a little secret survey that I do with every person I meet. So every person I meet, that's new, I say, hey, somewhere in the conversation, so sounds like you're a person of purpose. And they nod and I'll say, Would you mind sharing your, you know, your one-sentence purpose statement. And they say something like this? Well, I did it years ago. It's in a journal. I remember doing it. When I read Rick Warren's book, The Purpose Driven Life, I'd have to go back to the book, and reader, I hope you hear this with the love that I intended. If you have to go back to a book, to look up what your purpose is, how could you possibly be living it out every day, and therefore you're forfeiting the opportunity to experience life's full potential. So let me anchor that in a 1900-year-old quote, If I could Ray, 1900 years ago, Marcus Aurelius, this is AD 121 said this, and this is why I do what I do every day. People who labor all their lives, but have no purpose to direct every thought and impulse toward are wasting their time, even when hard at work. So if you're out there and you're listening, and you're hard at work, and you're finding that you're either running on empty, or that you've arrived at a false summit, and what you thought was gonna be there, the good life isn't there. And you're lacking the fulfillment and the impact that you know, you were made to be, but you don't know how to get there. Pivot back to purpose. Kevin Davis24:20So, Joe, in the closing minutes here, you know, I'm sure a whole lot of people are sitting here going, Wow, this, I gotta do something about this. What would you recommend? What's one simple kind of next step that listeners could take to say, hey, how do I start to think about my purpose and maybe pivot back to that? Joe Colavito24:43Find somewhere where you can get off and be alone with your own thoughts? Don't be afraid to go into uncomfortable places. And I'll just list off some questions Top of Mind, who am I? Why am I here? What do I do best? What's that thing that I do best? What makes my heart jump the most? What greatly disturbs me to the point I have to fix it right now? And how do I make the most lasting impact in the lives of others? So if you start to answer those questions, you'll find that all the way back, and I'll just quickly give you an example. So what do I do best? I encourage people, what makes my heart jump the most when I see them light up on purpose, what greatly disturbs me that quote, I just read you, and how do I make the most lasting impact on the lives of others, I lead them to, to a true vision of themselves. And so our program opens up with this statement, I only have one goal, I want you to see a clear vision of you. Because when you do, you're gonna have more fulfillment and impact than you've ever had. And everything in your life is going to be better. Ray Loewe25:56You know, I think we have to close there. I don't think there's anything more to say and, and we'll put on our podcast notes, how you can get a hold of Joe and see his website and, you know, get back into what's the meaning of why we're here? And how do we do that to have a more fulfilling and more exciting life? And we're going to Joe, thank you so much. You're obviously one of the luckiest people in the world over here. And you're also one of the most interesting people. So thanks for being with us.Joe Colavito26:27It's my pleasure, Ray. And thank you, Kevin. Yeah.Ray Loewe26:31And next week, Kevin is bringing us to Lance and Penny Davis. Maybe they're related to Kevin and it's gonna be one of the most intriguing interviews that we've ever done. So stay tuned. And we'll see you all next week on changing the world, changing the world by changing the rules first. And Joe, thanks again for being with us, Kevin, thanks again for being with us. And we'll see you all next week.Kris Parsons26:59Thank you for listening to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do that too. Join us with your lively host Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world is gonna have to see a different man

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www.fypodcast.com Email us with questions or topics at fypodcast1@gmail.com All relationship topics and dear FYP letters are read at the end of each show. Guest Co-host Love Jac From PDP podcast Israel and Hamas have agreed to a cease-fire to take effect on Friday morning, after more than 10 days of fighting, officials on both sides said on Thursday. https://www.nytimes.com/live/2021/05/20/world/israel-palestine-gaza Paul Mooney, the pioneering comic, writer, and actor, has died, his rep, Cassandra Williams, told The Hollywood Reporter. He was 79. https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/general-news/paul-mooney-dead-comic-actor-dies-79-1234955744/ New details have emerged about the shooting that left Lil Reese and others wounded. https://www.complex.com/music/more-details-parking-garage-shooting-lil-reese-wounded Cori Broadus, the 21-year-old daughter of rapper Snoop Dogg and his wife, Shante Taylor Broadus, opened up about her mental health and said she recently tried to take her own life. https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/culture/story/cori-broadus-snoop-doggs-daughter-discusses-mental-health-77777828 President Joe Biden on Thursday signed into law the COVID-19 Hate Crimes Act that passed through Congress in an increasingly rare show of bipartisanship, hailing the effort a "significant break" in a gridlocked Washington. https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/biden-sign-anti-asian-hate-crime-bill-law/story?id=77801857 --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/fyp/message

Guest Co-host:  Kevin Davis:  kevinkaera@comcast.net Podcast Guest:  Mike Smith:  mike@huddleadvisory.comMike's Website:  https://huddleadvisory.com/ Transcription:Kris Parsons00:03Thank you for listening to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life, and how you can figure out how to do that to.  Join us with your lively host Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world.Ray Loewe00:19Good morning, everybody. This is Ray Loewe with the luckiest guy in the world. And I'm sitting here in wonderful downtown Woodbury, New Jersey, at the wildfire podcast studios. And we have a whole new flow for the next month. We've got our co-host, Kevin Davis, who's an Atlanta-based person, I'm going to introduce him in a minute, we have a great guest today. And what this show is all about is it's about highlighting some of the luckiest people in the world. And the luckiest people in the world are those people who take control over their own life, and then live their lives under their own terms. And what's proven out is that the luckiest people in the world are also the most interesting people in the world, I think will bare that out today, as we talk. So let me introduce Kevin Davis. Kevin is a longtime friend of mine say hello, Kevin.Kevin Davis01:19How are you? Ray, it is great to be here with you in sunny Atlanta.Ray Loewe01:22Uh, well, except Atlanta has no gasoline. Right?Kevin Davis01:26Well, you know, there is that minor detail. But other than that, it's all good.Ray Loewe01:32Yeah. So stay home for the day. So Kevin is a coach to financial advisors. And he has tremendous industry experience on the product side of the financial industry. And the most interesting thing about Kevin is he's probably one of the most creative people I've ever met in my life. And let me tell you a quick story. So a couple of years ago, I was thinking about selling my financial planning practice. And Kevin was a member of my advisory board, and we're sitting around a big table in the back room. And we're talking about, you know, what the path was going to be after I walked away from the business. And I kind of weighed out this grandiose plan, and Kevin piped up and he said, you know, if you can do that, you've got to be one of the most interesting people in the world. And then he did this double-take, and he said, but we can't use that, because that's a beer commercial. So you're gonna be the luckiest guy in the world. It just stuck there, Kevin ever since. So thank you for that. Kevin Davis02:40Well, you're welcome. And of course, and anyone who had ever been into your office knows that we were sitting there with pictures you had taken from various trips, over the years around the world, some of them I think, you might have even told me National Geographic used the one of their brochures and one of the polar bears. And so it wasn't hard to kind of come up with that looking at this thinking, wow, this guy's been all over the place. It does. I will say this, and I'm sure you've said it over the years. It is interesting how the people who tend to work the hardest and tend to have a little purpose around the work end up seeming like the luckiest people out there, isn't it Ray?Ray Loewe03:21Well, they work at it, you don't become the luckiest people in the world just by sitting around. And you're gonna see an example of that when we introduce Mike Smith in a minute. But, Kevin, you know, thanks for being with us. And Kevin's going to be with us for the month of May. And we've gotten some incredible people coming in, in a week or two. And there are people that Kevin has introduced me to over the years. I think one of them Steve Franklin, his claim to fame is he interviewed 100 people over the age of 100. And we're going to be talking to him about his interest and where he's going. And we've got some other equally as interesting people. So make sure you stay tuned. And you're going to get a glimpse of Kevin as we go through this, too. So Kevin, are you ready to do some interviewing?Kevin Davis04:12I am really excited about today. And of course, I'll let you talk a little more about Mike's background. And but I'm going to spoil it. Spoiler alert here, you know, we just went through one of the most exciting non-competition-driven moments in the NFL, in my opinion, with the draft. And you know, it's always a bit of a tease for me because I get fired up, I get back into football mode where I really am excited about hanging out with friends and family and watching football. And then you gotta wait the whole summer. But this is a real treat because of who we have. So why don't you tell everyone who Mike is and a bit about his background?Ray Loewe04:55Sure. So Mike Smith, one of the luckiest people in the world, and you're going to see because he is in the process of continuing to revamp his life, to live it under his own terms. But Mike started in the world of accounting at one of the big accounting firms, and then went from accounting.Kevin Davis05:15Right, right. I thought you said, I thought you said we're talking to interesting people. In accounting?Ray Loewe05:23He left the accounting field, okay. By the way, I started in the accounting business too. So there's hope for accountants. But Mike left a Deloitte touche, after several years there, and went to NBC. And then went from NBC to the NFL, and he spent 16 years at the NFL. And I think Mike said he's been to, I don't know, Mike how many super balls, have you been to, it would be 16. 16, and you had to go to those, didn't you?  It was part of the job.Mike Smith05:58Yeah, no, it was a real chore. I must say that. That was one of the things that was a requirement of the job was attending Super Bowls.Ray Loewe06:05Okay.Kevin Davis06:06I'm sensing the pain and your voice about how hard that was?Mike Smith06:11Oh, it's funny. The one Super Bowl I ended up missing was the Super Bowl that actually had my favorite team in it, believe it or not, but we can get to that a little bit later.Ray Loewe06:20Okay, so what we're going to do is let Mike talk a little bit about his journey, and how he got from the accounting field to NBC to the NFL, and where he's going forward here because that's actually the most interesting part of his whole career. So, Mike, tell us a little bit about your journey and where you come from, and where you're going.Mike Smith06:45Well, thanks, Ray. Thanks, Kevin. And thanks for having me. And I truly am humbled to be on a podcast with a name such as the luckiest people in the world. It's not something I really would have ever envisioned. But I do love that you're trying to inspire people to be more intentional about how they're living their lives. I just think that's really, really a great purpose and a great focus for your work. And, you know, I am incredibly fortunate, but it's funny, I actually don't believe in luck. It's, funny, I just think that you know, sometimes low probability events happen, whether they're, you know, good or bad. But really what, I try to do, what I try to tell other people to do is, you know, what are you doing to actually maximize your chances of success, that, you know, a positive thing will happen, as opposed to a negative one? You know, because in life, you know, decisions have consequences, and sometimes you're not making a decision has a consequence. And so, you know, the question, you know, I have for the audience is, you know, what steps are you taking to actually create your own luck, because I think you said earlier that, you know, there's a fair amount of work that goes into trying to, you know, live a life that you really want to be living. And, you know, that starts with having, you know, that intention, but, you know, my journey started, like you said, in public accounting, and how I got there was just because my father was in accounting, and my brother was in accounting, so it was ended up just being the family choice. But, you know, it was really the start of an amazing journey that, you know, taught me, you know, the value of having quite honestly, really good boss, that, when you have a really good boss, it just creates an environment that allows you to learn, allows you to fail, allows you to experiment and try new things. But what's great about it also, is that you know, instilled in me from the onset of having a mindset of how to always be learning and how to always be pushing myself out of my comfort zone. So, you know, when I was at Deloitte, I started there, working on the Comcast engagement, which was the largest client they had in the Philadelphia Office, and I got the sports bug because one of the things I ended up doing was working on their acquisition of the Flyers and the 76ers and the stadiums in Philadelphia. So, you know, being a young sports fan, born and raised in Philadelphia, and actually looking at the financial statements of, you know, two of my favorite teams and seeing how the salt is, which made inside the sports industry was just an incredibly thrilling, thrilling moment. And, you know, in many respects, that first job I had at Deloitte because I was working with close friends who I still keep in contact with, you know, one of my best bosses ever. It was probably the best corporate job I ever had, which, you know, maybe is a sad statement that the best corporate job I ever had was when I was 22 years old, but it really was a great experience and a little bit of maybe a thread is that I actually followed that boss at Deloitte to NBC. You know, I, we had such a great connection, we complemented each other really well. And first at NBC. I was in Philadelphia ultimately became the CFO of the local TV station. And then at the time, NBC was owned by General Electric. And so if you remember the Jack Welch era of General Electric, they put a real focus on talent, they put a real focus on talent development. And really, every two years or so their high potential executives would be moving to their next opportunity. And so they came to me with a choice of, you know, a safe corporate job that I could leave Philadelphia for up in New York working and 30 rock where, you know, I'd be dealing with spreadsheets all day, or an opportunity to start something new out in Los Angeles and create a finance team with their growing NBC studios in house production arm. And you know, it was a great example of me pushing myself out of my comfort zone and wanting to, you know, take a personal risk and try something new.Ray Loewe10:47So can I interrupt for a minute, Mike, because you said a few things here that I think are really significant. And, you know, one of the purposes of the show is to showcase some people who are some of the luckiest people in the world. And you're absolutely right, you create luck, luck doesn't just happen. But you know, one of the things that you said is you search out the perfect boss, and you follow them. And then the second thing is that you push yourself and don't be afraid to jump off the cliff a little bit in order to try new opportunities to challenge your comfort zone. So, you know, as we go, let's highlight more of that because I think there are too many people that just get complacent with a job and don't move. And if not, how you get lucky is it?Mike Smith11:39No, and I think let's hit just a little bit of a pause button and linger on that for a moment because the phrase pushing yourself out of our comfort zone has become a little bit cliche, but I think the thought is, you know, what does that actually mean and translate to in terms of an activity or an action? And sometimes, you know, you do have to jump off that proverbial cliff in order to push yourself. And, you know, this is a question for people that are listening is, you know when was the last time you really jumped off that proverbial Cliff from a career standpoint? You know, has it been 10 years? Has it been 15 years? And if that is the question, then you know, you probably should be really seriously contemplating, you know, some type of move that would actually push yourself and actually make that jump. I think that's 100% spot on? Well,Kevin Davis12:30you know, Mike, it's interesting, it's interesting, because we, you know, we're obviously a very sports-centric society, we have all of these wonderful sports analogies, and we tend to talk about pushing ourselves, you know, going to the next level, we tend to talk about that a lot relative to athletes, and as they're trying to perform. We don't hear some of this language necessarily applied to how we make decisions about our own life, though. I mean, that's just very interesting thinking, right? Hey, let's push myself out of a comfort zone in my career. Well, that sounds a little scary. What are your thoughts about some of how you develop that mindset? Because I think it's a really important mindset. Mike Smith13:16Yeah, I think, you know, I love the notion of sort of everyone thinking about themselves as an athlete, do you want to call yourself a corporate athlete, you know, have at it, but, you know, it does start with, you know, having a mindset that you want to make an improvement in your life. And so, whatever that improvement is, you know, is a personal decision. But, you know, when I think about mindset, there's a handful of things that I focus on. One is having a real awareness around myself and my environment, you know, are you really looking in the mirror around sort of what my strengths and my blind spots are, you know, what is my current situation in whatever my environment is. Then really getting locked in on your personal purpose and your motivation, you know, what is really going to bring you the most satisfaction. You know, there's a lot of work out there. But oftentimes, you know, your real purpose in life is driven, is really linked back to some core emotional challenge you even had very early in your life, and really identifying that and creating that linkage is just such a powerful moment for people. And, you know, I remember when I actually made that link around what I want to be doing and linked it back to my core emotional event that happened earlier in life. It was just such a warmness came over my body, it was so incredibly satisfying and powerful, and it just drives you in a way that is hard to explain. And then the last thing that I think really contributes to mindset is probably not appreciated enough is just your physical, emotional, and mental well being, you know, how you feel and how you see the world and what you leaving yourself open to really does impact opportunities that come your way and how you see the playing field, so to speak. So I think all those three things from you know, your self-awareness, to your motivations too, you know, your well being really contribute to the mindset, you need to then get after something. And I think, you know, the outcomes will happen if you have, you know, the right mindset driving, you know, the activities you want.Kevin Davis15:27Yeah, that's, what do you think two books out of that right there? Yeah.Ray Loewe15:32Well, I think we're gonna see that this is where Mike's going, because, you know, when most people look at your career, and you say, you know, well, maybe not the accounting part, but you know, you get to NBC, and you're working with the stars, the TV stars, etc. And then you go to the NFL, and we all know what that's like, and the power of the NFL, and then all of a sudden, you leave to go off on your own. Because I think what you said something along the way is, in the end, it's just a job. And it's not the ability to express yourself and be yourself. Mike Smith16:12Yeah, I think, you know, you end up spending so much time in your professional career, to not be doing something that is bringing you deep personal satisfaction, and fulfillment really is just sort of a waste of how you're spending your time. And, again, there's a lot of reasons financially or otherwise, why people do the things that they do. But, you know, get locked in on your tension, tried to link it back to some real deeper purpose, and give yourself that self-drive to just live a much more fulfilling life. And, you know, for me when I was out in Los Angeles, you know, learning the TV business in Hollywood, you know, so it was such a great experience. But what was awesome about it is that I also ended up working with another great boss, who I ended up following to the NFL. So she was the CFO of the entire West Coast entertainment business, another person that I really connected with, and we were just fundamentally different and complemented each other. So so well, that she went and took a job at the NFL. And six months later, she got promoted, because she's a superstar and brought me over to work at the NFL. So again, a thread of me being fortunate, identifying good bosses doing good work for them, and then following their trail that they're blazing for me.Ray Loewe17:33Give yourself credit, because you wound up a senior VP of Finance for the NFL, so you had to do some good stuff along the way.Mike Smith17:42Well, I tried to you know, it certainly helps too, you know, surround yourself with really great people and work in cultures and organizations that really value performance and really give you the tools to be successful. And, you know, the NFL, during my time there over the 16 years went through such its own transformation of really moving from, you know, a sports league to really a global multimedia entertainment organization. You know, I think when I started, they probably would have looked at their peers much more to the other sports leagues. And then by the time I departed, you know, their peers were ESPN and Disney, and Fox, because that's sort of where their business model has taken them. And it really was an amazing experience. So many friends, so many great memories. But it also is, it's kind of interesting, you know, to work in your passion, you know, there when your passion and your job are intertwined. You know, you don't view your passion sort of the same way that you would normally and that's something that I always share with young people as they're entering the sports business is, you know, be ready for what you're wishing for, because, you know, it comes with some trade-offs that people probably don't appreciate.Ray Loewe19:00You know, I want you to interject a story here, a little bit out of sequence in a way but it's such a great story that you've got to tell it. And tell me about the photograph that you showed me long ago, about a football game. I think it was a high school football game back in the 1990s or something like that.Mike Smith19:19Yeah, there's a fairly famous photograph that as really made the rounds all over the NFL league office, because it's such a powerful picture. But back in 1965, in Mount Hermon, Massachusetts, I believe is the town. There was a high school football game that was going on between two local rivals, and the science building right behind the field caught on fire. And so there's a famous picture that I think actually won the AP sports photograph of the year of 1965 of the game being played, the stands being full, and a raging fire in the background of the science building with fire trucks. You know, dousing it with water. And it just sort of always spoke to me around the power sport has especially football, but sport generally has in people's lives to, you know, build community and to really bring joy to people. And you know, my joke when I share that picture is that it ultimately resulted in the most unusual hattrick in history where Mount Hermon lost the game, they lost a 17 game winning streak, and they lost their science building all in the same day. Which, you know, I feel bad for Mount Hermon. But it really is such a powerful reminder of, you know, the power of sport. Okay.Kevin Davis20:38You hate to lose a winning streak like that. I mean, the building too, but yeah.Ray Loewe20:44Yeah, the winning streak, let's put it in perspective, the winning streak is what was really important, they're not the science building, right,Kevin Davis20:50You can rebuild the science building.Mike Smith20:53So you know, they decided the fire didn't pose a risk to the game, they just kept on playing, I mean, who would not make that decision, given the same choice. So I think we all appreciate that. Okay,Ray Loewe21:04So as usual, we're approaching the end of time here, but I want to get into a couple of other things. So,you recently decided that it was time for you to leave the NFL, and go off on your own. So tell us a little bit about what you're doing. And tell us a little bit about what it took to make that leap from your standpoint because it's a gutsy move.Mike Smith21:30Yeah, you know, I reached the point of my NFL tenure, first, you know, 6-7-8 years in the finance role. And then the last six, seven years in HR-related roles. And, you know, after 16 plus seasons, you know, staring at, you know, 50 years old, and just thinking about sort of what the next phase of my career look like, you know, I realized, you know, I did everything I was going to do there, and, you know, it was better for me, and, you know, quite honestly, it's better for the NFL, as well too, you know, create some you know, runway for other future leaders in that organization. And it was time for me to just, you know, go live a life, that was a lot more flexible in one respect, but much more dedicated towards the specific activities that I really enjoyed doing, you know, I just wanted to retake some control. And then I also wanted a real diversity of leaders and challenges and industries to be working from and growing with. So, you know, I jumped off the cliff again, and, you know, had really, really great conversations with the leadership team there, including the commissioner around where I was, and, you know, executed a transition to a great new HR leader, and, you know, exited stage left in 2020. So, it certainly did not expect to be leaving, right before the pandemic, for sure, but it was, but you know, it's one of those things that you, you have to always look at what's in front of you and figure out, Okay, this is a really rough situation, how do I make the best of it, you know, I always preach to people that you have to have this realistic optimism in your life. It's not, you know, all rainbows and unicorns, but it's looking at what's in front of you and figuring out, okay, what's the upside of the fact pattern that's staring me in the face. And that's what I'm doing now. So right now, I've got a handful of different silos. The first is around executive coaching, which is, you know, one-to-one leader development, which I just love to do. You know, I love building trust, I love trying to pay it forward to the next generation of leaders and using all of my experience of being in the trenches and a lot of difficult issues and how to make people you know, the best version of themself. Second, is I do human capital consulting. So, you know, I've got this very unique background of being, you know, finance, HR executive, you know, a real left brain and right brain thinker at the same time. And so, I end up just looking at human capital and culture issues and just a different way than the traditional consultant. So I find that satisfying. And then, you know, the third silo is I actually am still learning and investing in myself and pushing myself out of my comfort zone, and started a doctoral program at Vanderbilt in leadership and learning. So, you know, I think at some point, when that is done, in the next few years, you know, I'll find myself in a classroom setting, you know, in some type of academic world, and that'll be incredibly satisfying. And so, you know, now living this sort of next phase of my life, doing one-to-one coaching, working on human capital initiatives, and, you know, academic work where I really helped to shape you know, students leaving college is just incredibly satisfying for me.Ray Loewe24:56Well, you know, last for quite a while question we're getting to the end of time here. Go ahead.Kevin Davis25:03I was just gonna say it's interesting, um, we tend to, you know, collectively we tend to look at people, you know, like Mike or like you, Ray who have these really interesting and diverse set of circumstances and we say, man, what a great life, they're living How lucky they are, I would love that in my life, right. And then, at the same time, so often we tend to cling to security and stability. And kind of a thread that I'm hearing here and I see this over and over again, is, you don't get this really interesting set of opportunities in life if all you do is sit behind the desk and never leave home, you have to be willing to be thoughtful about what matters to take these, you know, calculated risks. You know, Mike, as you said, his point, we've got to be willing to go jump off the cliff. And I love that. Not only do you say that, and encourage people and coach them to do that, but you've been willing to consistently model that. And I think there's a lot to be learned from that, you know, for those of our listeners who are sitting there going, gosh, I want a life, I'd love to live like that. Well, you know, chances are, there's an opportunity for whatever their equivalent is, by being willing to be thoughtful, purposeful, and say it's time to get off the you know, the couch and take a risk, you know, run and jump off the cliff so to speak. Mike Smith26:34Yeah, I think the only thing I would add to that is, you know, everyone's an expert in something. So for people that are sitting at home, you know, contemplating, well, you know, jumping off the cliff, sounds a little bit too risky to me, you know, first do some self-work and think about what am I an expert in, because everyone listening to this is an expert in something. And once you identify that, then it just becomes a function of your business model and your structuring which are, you know, quote-unquote, easy things to work through if you've got the real will, to make a change.Ray Loewe27:08Great, great. Yeah, and unfortunately, we're at the end of our time, and I wanted to thank Mike Smith, who is CEO and founder of Huddle Advisory. Great, great name, by the way, Mike, given your background, and uh, we'll post that with our podcast notes. So if you want to get in touch with Mike, you'll be able to find him. And Mike, just thanks for being with us and showing us you know, how you kind of journey to being one of the luckiest people in the world and certainly one of the most interesting people in the world, and best of luck going forward. And I don't think you need the luck. I think you're going to make your own luck. So thanks for being with us.Mike Smith27:52Thanks so much, guys. This was fun.Ray Loewe27:55Okay, we will see everybody next week where we'll have another interesting guest and stay tuned to changing the rules.Kris Parsons28:08Thank you for listening to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do that too. Join us with your lively host of Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world. 

Guest Co-host:  Rebecca Hoffman:  rebecca@goodeggconcepts.comRebecca's Website:  www.GoodEggConcepts.comPodcast Guest:  Lourdes Nicholls:  lourdes@oakpark.com Transcription: Kris Parsons 00:02Welcome to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do it too.  Join us with your lively host Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world.Ray Loewe 00:16The morning everybody and welcome to wildfire podcast studios in wonderful Woodbury, I got that wrong already Woodbury, New Jersey, and we are here with our engineer Taylor, who keeps us running smooth, and without him, we couldn't do these podcasts. So we have a couple of great guests today. And I think we need to make a comment before we get into our guests about the luckiest people in the world and remind everybody that they're the people who sit down and design their own lives, and who understand that things are going to change. And so they don't just design their own lives once, they constantly design their own lives, so that they can live their lives under their own terms, and live them being happy and content with where they're going. And we have two of the luckiest people in the world. Joining us in a minute. Let me bring on Rebecca Hoffman. Rebecca has been our guest host for the last month. And unfortunately Rebecca this is our last one, isn't it? Uh oh. So we're gonna have to do something about that. And Rebecca runs Good Egg Concepts. And every time I think about this, I get this image of Humpty Dumpty, but Humpty didn't fall off the wall. In this case, he's there. And he's intact. And, Rebecca designs, branding for people. And she is one of the best storytellers in the world. And best of all, one of the best people that help you craft stories. And we're going to craft another one today, aren't we, Rebecca?Rebecca Hoffman01:53Yes, we are. We have a great story to tell here today. And I'm excited for it.Ray Loewe 01:58Cool. Why don't you introduce our guest?Rebecca Hoffman 02:00Sure. Our guest today is Lourdes Nicholls, who I'm so proud to say is my friend, we met through some mutual work we were doing together. And as sometimes work will do when you're done with the work you get to talking about your life when you like somebody and we sat together one day and talked over coffee. And she told me a little bit of her life story, which really resonated with me because it was a story that's of personal interest to me privately. And I'm gonna let Lourdes tell the story. But I'm just gonna say that Lourdes is starting to devote and dedicate her life to greater understanding and education around the Japanese American incarceration during World War II. And I'm just delighted that Lourdes is going to take a little time with us to tell us about her family and kind of give us a sense of why this chapter in American history is profound and needs to be considered, especially in the moment we're in today. Lourdes, thanks for being here.Lourdes Nicholls  02:57Thank you so much for having me. I'm honored to be here. And I feel like the luckiest person to be part of a part of today and a part of you, and you've done so much to help me. So I appreciate you as much Rebecca.Ray Loewe 03:12Once you're on one of these podcasts, you're one of the luckiest people in the world whether you want to be or not, and you can't get out of it.Lourdes Nicholls  03:20Okay.  I'll take it.Rebecca Hoffman 03:23Maybe we should begin at the logical beginning. And maybe Lourdes tell us a little bit about your family. And if you don't mind, for the listeners who may not be as familiar Can you describe what the Japanese American incarceration was, it was previously referred to as internment. But that's not a term that's used anymore. And maybe you can sort of have a little background so we understand.Lourdes Nicholls  03:43Sure. So when I was growing up, I always knew that my mom was born in a Japanese what I called an internment camp at Manzanar during World War II. I know now that the word internment camp is really an outdated term, it's just not, not what it was. It was an incarceration camp. And it's, you know, taken time and understanding and really learning more and working on this, you know, researching my family that I've come to understand the terminology that was used at the time during World War II and the terminology that we know now. And what exactly was going on many of the words that were used during World War II were to shape this narrative about what was going on, I mean, two-thirds of the people that were incarcerated, the Japanese Americans were US citizens, you know, they were forcibly removed from their homes, and they were sent to places all over the country. They sold all of their belongings and, you know, basically had to rebuild their lives, you know, after the war. So Um, yeah, I mean, it's kind of depressing, actually. But, I mean, it's a sad piece that I was asked to do. I was in high school, I was required to do a family history project. And that's kind of how this ball got rolling. I was required to interview my grandparents. And that's really when this all started. So, you know, 1982.Rebecca Hoffman 05:30So you were living your family was living in Berkeley, California, you're a teenager in high school, going through all the things that teenagers go through, and you're asked to do a family history, like oral history type project, what did you uncover?Lourdes Nicholls  05:44You know, I, again, I knew kind of this term that my mom was born in the camp, but I didn't really know. I heard family members talking about camp, but I thought it was summer camp. Honestly. I didn't really get it. You know, I was 15 years old at the time. And just, you know, growing up, I guess. So what happened was, this project was a requirement. My mom and I flew to Los Angeles, where her parents were. And for the first time, I think, ever, my mom said, they talked about what they endured while living at Manzanar. And it just brought a lot of shame to my family. A lot of, you know, hard times for sure. Prior to World War II, my grandfather had quite a life, you know, and I think that really that whole experience, and even after the war, after World War II, he actually worked for the US government and was a translator for the war crimes trials, which by the way, is probably one of the most disturbing things you can probably do. I mean, really, I mean, it's just unbelievable the things that he did, and I think it really depressed him quite a bit.Rebecca Hoffman07:07So your grandfather, pre World War II, he had an interesting job. But then he ended up in California, could you tell us, I guess the part that really affected me was the work that he did before there was ever a war. And then your family had a garden center. I'm gonna kind of talk for a minute about what he was like, how he was an expert in something, and then how did that end up becoming something he was able to use to survive Manzanar.07:35Um, so long story short, my grandfather was not a US citizen. My grandmother was, he came to the United States in 1916. He came to Los Angeles. Long story short, in the early 1920s. He made his way to Chicago, and he went to school at the Art Institute of Chicago. And while he was there, he met a man named George Harding Jr., and George Harding, Jr. was probably one of the wealthiest people in Chicago at the time. I know he was the first person to own an automobile. He added his own airplane. He had a mansion in the Hyde Park area. And he collected Arms and Armor and art from all over the world. And he met my grandfather and was very interested in him and his background and hired him to be his curator of all of the medieval items that he had and paintings and my grandfather worked for George Harding Jr. From the mid-1920s until 1940. And during that time, my grandfather lived at the mansion. He met Presidents, Vice Presidents, he met Al Capone, he met lots of dignitaries who came to the museum, which by the way, was the house, you know, before the Field Museum and other places people had like Driehaus, you know, they had private collections in their own home, right. Yeah. So, yeah. So my grandfather worked there. And, you know, again, I have newspaper articles. I have all sorts of history about that. Um, the ironic thing is, you know, George Harding, Jr. died unexpectedly in 1939. And that's kind of when things started to fall apart with, you know, with what was going to happen with my grandfather's job. And my grandfather and grandmother ended up moving to Los Angeles. I will say there is a happy ending to the George Harding collection is currently visible at the Art Institute of Chicago for many people who know the Chicagoland area. It's Sir, it's a real gem. And my family, we feel very fortunate because my grandfather's albums of the photos were used to put the displays together. Many of the things they weren't, as you know, had they'd never seen photos from inside the mansion the way, my grandfather took them. So kind of a nice part of being a part of, you know, living in the Chicagoland area. It's kind of a nice piece of history for our family.Rebecca Hoffman10:30Well, and I can add, it's probably one of the most popular displays. That's where people go because art comes to life when you see the medieval armor and all the accessories. So your grandfather enjoyed this tremendous this rarefied life here and then he goes to Los Angeles with your grandmother, and they buy or form a garden center.Correct. Lourdes Nicholls  10:53Right. So my grandfather could not find a job as a curator, you know, when he went to Los Angeles, I mean, it's kind of a unique job. Apparently, my grandfather was going to be a curator of a museum in Manchuria. But my grandmother's family who was from Los Angeles didn't think it was a good idea in 1940 to go. So the only thing that my grandfather could piece together was to become a gardener. And that's what a lot of Japanese Americans were doing at that time. So he opened a garden center in Culver City. And he, had that garden center until, you know, until he went to Manzanar on December 7, 1941, it was actually my grandparent's fifth wedding anniversary, because they were born out they were married on that date, in 1936. And I can only imagine that their five-year wedding anniversary was a complete nightmare. And it really wasn't what they were envisioning. And then within about two months, on February 19, 1942, President Roosevelt signed Executive Order 9066, which required all Japanese Americans whether or not they were American citizens or not living on the west coast, Washington, Oregon, California, and parts of Arizona to be sent to these incarceration centers.Rebecca Hoffman12:30Your family then had to make quick plans because there was no choice the government was going to force them to move. What did they do?Lourdes Nicholls  12:39Correct. So my grandfather, you know, my grandparents, from what I learned, had to sell everything or get rid of everything. And so they had to sell the nursery and the only person that they were able to find that was remotely interested in the nursery was the milkman who came to their house every day. My grandfather said, Are you interested? And he said, I only have $75. And so that's all that my grandfather got for the whole bird nursery. And Rebecca, you know, you've seen photos of it. I mean, it wasn't a small little shop. It was it was big. There was a pond. It was it gorgeous.Rebecca Hoffman 13:20Gorgeous plantings. Yeah, a little bit of a dream world. Yeah. So they got $75 for their family business. And they moved to Manzanar. Yeah. And yet, and I don't want to tell this part of the story, I  want you to tell it but yet when your grandparents get to Manzanar, your grandfather's still, in spite of this terribly adverse circumstance does something spectacular. What did he do there?Lourdes Nicholls  13:43So my grandfather, um, you know, I'm sure that it was a very scary time to, you know, board up go somewhere you don't know. Live in a 20 by 25-foot barrack. You know, build your own mattress out of straw. I mean, the pictures of what they had to do just to get into their accommodations. There's just nothing that you want to do. It wasn't until maybe about maybe less than six months after they arrived. They arrived in Manzanar on April 8, 1942. The head of Manzanar Ralph Merritt found out that my grandfather had worked at a museum and had this experience and he asked my grandfather to start a museum at the camp for the incarcerated. To show them what the rest of the world looks like and how they can, you know, things that they could do either participate or see things that they weren't used to seeing. So my grandfather created the visual education Museum, which was really to help young children who, by the way, maybe they had never been in a grocery store before, or maybe they had, they didn't know, you know, my grandfather wrote to all these places and asked for books and photos of like insects, animals, all sorts of things, and created a place for people to see exhibits and participate.  Some of the participants really, I think, got a lot out of it. I mean, as you know, like working with art or creating art, some amazing things came out of that. So absolutely amazing.Rebecca Hoffman15:40So, here's your grandfather and your grandmother, they're living in, they're incarcerated. This is not by choice, and he still creates basically a museum or a gallery for understanding the world. Correct. And this incarceration has an unknown end at this time, right. So he's building something. And famous artists came to see this gallery and showed some of their art there. Am I correct? Maybe a famous, photographer?Lourdes Nicholls  16:07I mean, you know, Ansel Adams and Dorothea Lange, were both hired by the government to take photos. So maybe you've seen some of these photos. And they are quite striking. The main thing to know about those photos is that those photographers were not allowed to take pictures of the barbed wire of the guard towers with guards inside with guns, you know, pointing towards the camp. So, Ansel Adams and Dorothea Lange, both captured the people that were there, and all of their daily life experiences. And my grandfather put together, you know, the Ansel Adams exhibit at Manzanar, which, luckily, I have a photo of. And Ansel Adams came back to Manzanar four times, I mean. He was regularly there and really had a lot of sympathy for the people who were there. I, unfortunately, I didn't get to talk to my grandfather about Ansel Adams, because I assumed that they had conversations. But I still, you know, I think that Ansel Adams photos, and the book that he wrote, called born free and equal, which actually ended up becoming a banned book and Ansel Adams was really not well received because he wanted people to understand that, you know, the Japanese Americans were not a threat, and that no Japanese American was ever convicted of any kind of crime or helping in any way during the war. So it's tragic, it's sad, it's a sad piece, actually.Ray Loewe17:54You know, let me interrupt and I don't know if you've noticed, but I haven't interrupted for 12 minutes. I never not interrupt for 12 minutes. I mean, what an incredible story. And I want to put this story in perspective a little bit because I hear you are Lourdes, You grew up in Berkeley, you moved to Chicago in 1991. You're a normal person. You have three kids, right? You have a job, which you like, right? And you're out running marathons, and you met everybody in the city of Oak Park so that every two blocks, you would have somebody to save you if you stumbled in a marathon? Right?Lourdes Nicholls  18:32I think I do. Yes, I hope I do.Ray Loewe18:34Yeah. So here you are. And then you get hit somewhere along the way with this incredible story as a 15-year-old, that probably no 15-year-old should have to face and yet you faced it. And it's become a project that you're running. Not In addition, not in addition to your life. You haven't dropped her life. You're running it like you normally did. And you're, spending time with this. So you've got this incredible story. Where's it going? What are you going to do with it?Lourdes Nicholls  19:07Good question. I mean, honestly, I love family history. I love anyone's family history. But my family history has become just a part-time job for me. I mean, it's always in the for, you know, it's always on my mind. I'm always trying to uncover new things. I would say that there was an exhibit in 2017. Then they came for me in Chicago, and then it went to New York City. I was asked to if I could come up with some documents or pieces for that exhibit. And that kind of got me reinvigorated in this whole piece of history. My mom was very reluctant. She really was not into talking about it. It brought a lot of shame to her family. But I will say that I'm bringing her to Manzanar, we went several times. And then going to the then they came for me exhibit in Chicago and New York. You know, she really started to understand more and accept it. I mean, she has said, she said for a long time it was intergenerational trauma, even though she didn't remember ever being at Manzanar as a baby. You know, it was part of her and her family. You know, so that has been kind of my, I don't know, I just something inside of me. I just keep moving forward, even though it's hard. My mom passed away about a year and a half ago. And, you know, she was my best friend and biggest cheerleader. I mean, that's, you know, so doing this by myself. I mean, I'm choked up just talking about it. It's really hard.Ray Loewe20:56But you have a movie coming out of this right. Or some film? Lourdes Nicholls  21:01Well, I have.  I'm so lucky to have Rebecca who introduced me to Arielle Nobiles, who is working on a documentary called, well, the series is belonging in the USA. And she has picked amazing people and I'm lucky to be one of them to focus on and so that should be coming out. I think I'm hoping December 7, 2021, which is the 80th anniversary of Pearl Harbor day, and it's also the 30th anniversary of the day, my grandmother died. Because everything happens on December 7, and my family, my grandparents were married, Pearl Harbor day happened and my grandmother died on that day. So it's kind of bittersweet. But yeah.Rebecca Hoffman21:52I hope, spectacular history. And, you know, as I hear you speaking, I think, okay, if I'm just listening to this, and I don't know much, what can I see? What can I look at? I know the movie is coming out? It's not a movie. It's a documentary film that's coming out later this year. When I first met you, you said you need to watch the orange story, which is a short film, maybe 12-15 minutes. Right. Lourdes Nicholls  22:16So orange story, yes. Which is I recommend to classrooms when I speak to them. It's at the orange story.org it's only 15 minutes. And so that you can get it in class. It was filmed here in Chicago by my friend Jason Matsumoto. And it really shows how Japanese Americans went from living everyday life like the three of us. And then suddenly, something happens and one particular person has to sell their business, pack things up. You know, it's heart-wrenching. Um, but I think that that's a really great intro. It's pretty much required viewing because then you can kind of be more up to speed, and especially, it's for all ages. I mean, kids, young kids can watch it and understand, you know, older adults, anybody. SoRay Loewe23:16Well, unfortunately, time is at its end. So Rebecca, do you have any final comments, Rebecca, and then we'll get some out of Lourdes?Rebecca Hoffman23:25Well, I you know, I just want to say thank you to Lourdes for sharing the story. And I hope that people who are listening to this will take their knowledge effort a little further, there's never been a better time to have a look at this chapter in American history. And consider, you know, what happened and how we can go one better we can do better?Ray Loewe23:44Yeah. And Lourdes, any final comments? Lourdes Nicholls  23:48Just, I mean, I'm, I don't feel I mean, I feel like everyone has a story to tell me about their family. They just have to unlock it. And I've been, I keep trying to unlock more. But, um, yeah, it's been a bittersweet experience. But I'm still learning new things all the time. So it's, great. It's great. I love it.Ray Loewe24:11And thanks, everybody, for being here. Rebecca, thank you so much for being our co-host.  Time has flown by in four weeks. And everybody Join us next week, we're going to have a brand new co-host, I'm not telling in advance. And we've got some great guests. And hopefully, we'll see Lourdes at one of our cocktail events soon where you can actually sit down and ask her some questions about this whole process. So thank you guys, for being with us. Thank our listeners for being with us. And we'll see you again next week.Kris Parsons24:46Thank you for listening to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do that too. Join us with your lively host Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world.

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Guest Co-host Rebecca Hoffman:  rebecca@goodeggconcepts.comRebecca's Website:  www.GoodEggConcepts.comPodcast Guest:  Nicole Gordon:  nicole@nicolegordon.comNicole's Website:  https://nicolegordon.com/ Transcription:Kris Parsons  0:03  Welcome to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do it too. Join us with your lively host Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world.Ray Loewe  0:18  Good morning, everybody. And we're here in our podcast studios, Wildfire podcast, and Woodbury, New Jersey. And we're here with our engineer Taylor. And just a quick word about Wildfire. You know, they have made this whole thing possible for us. We started this thing over a year ago, we had no idea how to do a podcast, we still don't know how to do a podcast. But Taylor runs everything for us. And it all works. So we're here with two interesting topics that I want to bring up before we get to our main guest, the name of our show is "Changing the Rules." And that's largely because we're all fed a body of rules throughout our life. And those rules are kind of forced us to conform in a certain way. And over time, some of those rules become not so relevant to us. And our point is that we need to grasp those rules that we want to adapt as ours. And only when you choose your own rules, do you become free to be you and to become one of the luckiest people in the world. And remember, the luckiest people in the world are those people who design their own lives, and then live them. And we're here today with a couple of the luckiest people in the world. And we're here to bring a message to more of the luckiest people in the world. So Rebecca Hoffman is going to be our co-host this month. And I'm excited about this for several reasons. First of all, Rebecca is, adding a new dimension to the guests that we're interviewing, because she's bringing on a lot of people that she knows that are lucky in different ways than traditionally we've, we've talked to people about. And so Rebecca is the leader, I guess it's the leader, CEO, manager,Rebecca Hoffman  2:15  right, Chairman,Ray Loewe  2:16  The head egg of good egg concepts. And again, I have to read this again, because I love this definition. Rebecca leads good egg concepts an economical, thoughtful, clever, endlessly curious consulting firm focused on your goals and brand. And she's based in the Chicago area. And she helped me tremendously because she is such a great storyteller. And she's helped me weave stories into my whole marketing campaign and my whole life. So Rebecca, welcome to changing the rules.Rebecca Hoffman  2:52  Thank you, Ray, really appreciate it's nice to be here with you and with our guest, Nicole Gordon. Hi. Hi, Nicole. Thank you for joining us today, I want to just say a couple things about you to the listening audience so they know where we're coming from, and then we'll go. Nicole Gordon is an artist living in the Chicago area, but working all over. Your art has been featured in galleries from coast to coast from New York City to Los Angeles, and you've had solo exhibitions, and most recently at the Bellevue Arts Museum, Bellevue, Washington. And I think what probably strikes people the most about your art are the themes, the colors, the textures, and we can talk a little bit about that. But you know, for our listening audience, if people want a peek, go to NicoleGordon.com, and you can kind of see what we're talking about as we go. Thank you for joining us.Nicole Gordon  3:44  Thanks for having me. So happy to be doing this.Rebecca Hoffman  3:48  Well, you know, you're an artist, and you're living and working in real life. And I think a lot of times people believe artists are like these, like this. It's like a fantasy world, which that's hard to achieve in everyday life. Right.Nicole Gordon  4:02  Yeah, I agree. I think that there's sort of this idea that artists sort of live on a whole different plane, and that we live in this other spectrum of our brain. And that, you know, it's all about sort of this creative inspiration and finding inspiration and living in this other place. But, you know, the reality is for myself, and I think a lot of people who would consider themselves pretty productive artists is that there is still this sense of, you know, needing to have a regular schedule, and needing to sort of keep at it every day, all the time. And this idea of sort of the creative spark, you know, it's a little bit more about just sticking with it and kind of working things every day to just like almost like a regular job and the more you work at it sort of the more productivity you have.  Rebecca Hoffman  5:01  Your regular job takes you into your studio and in your studio, you create worlds of fantasy. Do you want to talk a little bit about the discipline? Because I mean, we're always interrupted by email, and texts and telephone is ringing. How do you do that?  Nicole Gordon  5:16  Well, I have sort of the way that I have, the way that I work has changed dramatically over the years, you know, as I've gotten older as I have a family now that I have to attend to. And of course, with the pandemic, with this really odd scheduling, I've had to really adapt the way that I work to make it work so that I can still be productive. So maybe back in my 20s, when I could be in the studio all day and weekends. I could really spend more time being more sort of off the cuff with the way I work. And I could spend a lot of time working on one thing, where I say after a week, oh, that doesn't work. And I paint right over it because I had all the time in the world to sort of to work on it.  But nowadays, I've really honed my craft so that the studio time, which is very truncated, is more productive. So I do a lot of my sketching digitally now. And I've got a lot of my ideas worked out ahead of time I work very thematically, so I have these concepts that I work with. And I sort of input imagery that I love to these different designs. And by the time I get into the studio, I kind of have things mapped out a lot more thoroughly than I ever used to. And so what that does, yeah, it allows me to be really productive with my time I can go in, and sort of have a couple of hours here and there where I know I'm sort of moving the ball forward.Ray Loewe  6:51  You know, just to put this in perspective. Okay, so you're working in your home, but you're also raising two children. Is that correct?  Nicole Gordon  7:01  Three, yes, three children. There's a pair of them. They're twins.Ray Loewe  7:06  So how old are your kids?Nicole Gordon  7:09  I have a 11-year-old twin boys who are in fifth grade. And I have an eight-year-old son who is in second grade.Ray Loewe  7:17  So how does one you know I think we have a lot of people who listen to these podcasts who are saying, gee, I wish I could do what these people do? But I'm here at home, I manage a household I've got young kids running around, how do you do this? So what was your path? And how do you manage all of this?Nicole Gordon  7:40  I think that there's a couple of things at play here. One is feeling okay about saying I need time, that is just for myself. And it's really coming to terms with my kids are going to be okay, you know, I can make sure that they're fed and that they have their needs addressed. But they also understand that I'm an artist, and I have a job that is very important to me both emotionally and you know, financially, and that I require this time to get my work done. So there's sort of an expectation that's been sort of put on the table from an early age from them that they understand that this is something that I do and it's not really optional. The other thing is that I have really sort of trained myself, and this is a very important thing for me. So it's not something that I'm really willing to put aside. You know, maybe, obviously, in circumstances out of my control, but generally I make it part of my routine. And that might mean, in the last year, my routine isn't working nine to three like it used to be where I at least have these school hours. Now my time working might be you know, 10 to 1130, and then come down and make sure that they have lunch and then again back up at it from one to three. And just finding those moments that even if they're not the same all the time. And even if you have to sort of change the way that you work, just to keep going with it and making sure it is an integral part of your daily life. And it's amazing, you can actually get a lot done even in smaller amounts of time if you just keep doing it every day.Rebecca Hoffman  9:31  With focus, and I have to say I've I feel fortunate that I've been able to see your work across all the years that you've been working through a little bit of the work we've done together. And one of the things I observed is your work now does seem informed by this discipline, the subject matter of your art. Not always but often includes what I would just define as like an observer person who is often younger. You don't even necessarily see the face of that person, but the observer is looking at the subject matter of the painting with the person looking at the painting. Could you talk a little bit about the major motifs in your work? I just so the listeners know it's fantastical, but it's also realistic. And themes of the teacups and forest fires and earthquakes and pink flamingos.Nicole Gordon  10:21  Yep, I would say a generally a theme that runs through my work is looking at the world. In all of the good, the bad, and the ugly, and putting them together all of these disparate ideas and concepts into these narratives that are beautiful, and also haunting. And I, you know, these, these are things that tend to make up human existence that, you know, the yin and the yang, and we can't have beauty without decay. And a lot of it was inspired by sort of watching my children interact with the world. And this idea of finding beauty in the unknown and wanting for my kids to really take these moments to really sit quietly in the world, and not be constantly inundated with electronics and schedules and sports. And in realizing that these fleeting moments, of solitude and quiet, are really the most important thing that we have to fuel, our creativity and our ability to interact with the world creatively. And be thought-provoking humans. So the work is really about these dream-like worlds that we can create, within our own minds, if given that opportunity to be left alone. And these worlds are, again, filled with beauty. But there, it's also frightening, because as anybody might know, sitting alone with your thoughts, isn't always peaches, you know, you kind of have to dig deep. And sometimes that's a really terrifying place to be.Rebecca Hoffman  12:01  That's really interesting how you know, so you're a person, you do find beauty in that complexity and the difficulty of understanding what we could kind of broadly define as challenging moments or experiences.  Nicole GodonOh, I find I love beauty in sort of those more difficult moments, I think that that's what I really look for is, and I use a lot of graffiti in my work. And I love this sort of really rough imagery, where there's layers, and layers, and layers of art. I considered very beautiful artwork, even things were that most people wouldn't find really beautiful. But this idea that you know, history is sort of layering on top of each other, and really finding beauty in things that are decaying and things that aren't meant to be beautiful. And I use a lot of imagery of amusement parks that are in various states of decay. And I use the amusement park imagery as something that conceptually stands for something that can be both thrilling and terrifying. At the same time or two different people, one person might look at and say this is like the greatest thing of my life. And somebody might say, you know, I wouldn't go near that with a 10-foot pole. So I like these images that mean different things to different people.  Because pandemic years have been periods of time of great creativity for people who had that within their soul. They say that Shakespeare wrote, you know, right through a pandemic, and it was a great time for focus. Do you find your work shifting at all during this pandemic experience that we're collectively having? Or do you feel like it's just providing you with more time to work on what you were already working on? Or is it informing your work in some way?Nicole Gordon  13:58  Oh, it's definitely informing my work. The work that I've done in the past year has been fairly directly related to what's been happening in this shutdown. And interestingly, of course, my work leading up to this has been about solitude and finding beauty in being alone. So in some funny ways, there has already been a connection to it, because of course, this is something that we've all been forced to do. And so the work is sort of a continuation on that, of finding sort of the ability to be alone and creating worlds for ourselves that are meaningful, while the world outside repairs itself. And so that's really what this new work is about is sort of like. Alright, we're all here together, alone, in our own little pods. And outside the world is trying to figure out you know, how to repair so how are we going to create beauty for ourselves in a world that's kind of, um, you know, it's not falling apart.  It's working on itself. You know, that's what?  Ray Loewe  15:11  No, go ahead Nicole finish your train of thought.Nicole Gordon  15:13  I was just gonna say that's what a lot of this newer work and newer imagery has really been about for me.Ray Loewe  15:19  You know, it's interesting to me because I consider myself an art Luddite. Okay, you know, I have no artistic background whatsoever. And, being able to talk to an artist and find out why they're creating and what their thinking is, as they create. And I think I told you the story, when we had our prep interview that I've been to most of the major museums in the world.  And I've come out of them and felt, you know, I didn't get it. And I think a lot of it is these five things. I mean, you'll like it or you don't, you know why you like it, you understand what the artist has in mind. And you understand how difficult the media is that you're working with. And, I guess there's a fifth one, I guess you can go to a famous art school and become an expert, and then you get to tell everybody what's important and what's not, right.  Rebecca Hoffman  16:13  But ultimately, it's what you express, that's what your viewer is moved by, or not moved by it.  But I think, you know, good art is emotional and it moves you. You may not even understand it, but you're compelled to look right.Ray Loewe  16:30  And that's what I'm finding and I'm it's gonna be interesting to go back and relook at some of your paintings. Having had this interview with you where I've got some insight into what you were thinking and what drives your thinking here.  Nicole Gordon  16:48  Yeah, I always think that that's an interesting thing. I tend to, you know, there's I love talking about my work and telling people sort of what was going on in my head. But equally, I love hearing what people have to say about it without having any being fed any information for me. Because I'm always amazed at things that people get out of it that are clearly a representation of what their personal story is. And I think when you're looking at art, and when you're interacting with art, so much of it, because you know, the artist isn't sitting there 99% of the time. I'm telling you, this is what you should be looking for. So really what it becomes, is a conversation between the viewer and their personal experiences that have shaped them. And how those experiences that have shaped them, make them reflect on the work. And I think because my work is so narrative, and it has a lot going on, there are a lot of different things that people can resonate with, that may resonate with them in completely different ways than maybe my initial intention. And I love hearing about those things as well, because they're is equally as important, if not more so because at the end of the day, it's really about that interaction more than my intention.Ray Loewe  18:06  Okay, so real quickly, I saw one of your paintings when I was going through your website, and it's a painting of a giant panda sitting in a sea of I think sunflowers.Nicole Gordon  18:17  Yes.Ray Loewe  18:18  Now I have a panda project that I've been working on in China, where we're working with a group of people to release baby pandas in the wild. That thing hit me right away.  Nicole Gordon  18:28  Ah, I love that. And then I didn't know that exactly, this is exactly what we're talking about. So that hit you in a way, because of your personal experience, that you can relate to that piece in a way much differently than anybody else.  Ray Loewe  18:41  And the color that you put in there. You know, I just got a kick out of the color the content and there's a certain amount of wimzie in there it it put a big smile on my face and made me feel good. How's that? Oh,Nicole Gordon  18:56  I like that. That's great. And that's, you know, I hope people do feel good when they're looking at my work. I think I tried to have wimzie, I tried to have beauty. And I tried to have a little bit of darkness, just to kind of make you think oh well makes it'll sort of make you stick with the work a little bit longer. And help you make you digested it a little bit.Ray Loewe  19:17  As you go through this journey that you're on, you know. You are obviously an artist early in your life and you know, created or gave a lot of time to your artwork, and then children came into play, and you still have young children. So you're stuck with that for a while. And that's going to have an influence on you. And you're well known now, and you get people who commissioned art from you, and then you do some of your stuff freelance too. Where are you going? You know what's the when this is all done. What's the impression that you want to leave to let everybody know that Nicole Gordon was here?  Nicole Gordon  20:00  You know I have to tell you that I tend to not think that broadly about that. You know, I don't think like, Oh, I want these paintings hanging around, you know, 100 years after I'm gone for my legacy. I would say that first and foremost, I create out of an absolute obsession and need to create. And that is, first and foremost for myself. And I. But that being said, part of being an artist, I think, in general, is also sharing that art with the world. So you can go, you know, I could sit in the studio and create, but I don't think that that in and of itself is a fulfillment. I think part of what takes it full circle is being able to take this work out of my studio and put it into the world for people to interact with and enjoy. And that has always been hugely important to me. And being able to have these exhibitions and pushing the work.  I'm never satisfied to kind of keep with the same thing too long. So I think for me, to have a long distinguished career means constantly moving my work into a new place into someplace that I may not have envisioned years before. And I'm continuing to sort of move off the canvas. And I've started to create these 3d based installation works, which initially, were very outside of my comfort zone. And I think in order to kind of keep relevant, and to keep making interesting work, you have to continually push yourself outside of your comfort zone. And move into different material usage and in different concepts in order to find new meaning with the work and why I'm making it.Rebecca Hoffman  21:59  That's very interesting because the major theme of this podcast is changing the rules. And we may have some listeners who are sitting at home thinking. I am not a creative person, I could never do what Nicole is doing. But I think creativity is a little bit like a muscle that either you use it or you don't use it or to varying degrees. Everybody has it. What would you say to people sitting at home who are thinking, gosh, I wish I could be like Nicole, I wish I could paint, I wish I could make things I wish I could express my unconscious experience of this world. However, that may be what would you say to people who would love to take a chance, but don't know how?Nicole Gordon  22:36  Well and this is exactly what I tell a lot of students as well. And I think that there is a lot of fear that keeps people from doing anything because people are so afraid of, let's say in artists making work and not having it be the best thing they've ever made. Or putting things out there and having it rejected. And the fact of the matter is, what I tell people is I said just make something every day, just put a little, you know, pencil to the paper, whatever material you want. And not everything you do has to be the best thing you've ever made. In fact, you know, as you said, it's a muscle and you just have to keep flexing it, and the more you do it, the more confident that you become. And that's kind of then where the wheels start moving in your head. And you might be able to start saying, Well if it weren't for this first mark I made, I wouldn't have thought, Oh, this might take me someplace else. And I think that you constantly have to just kind of keep working in order to find where that next thing may take you. And if you don't ever start, you're never going to know where to go.Ray Loewe  23:47  I think that it's about taking a chance. Yeah, I think that's great advice. And I think you've demonstrated why you're one of the luckiest people in the world. You've carved out your career. You make time for it, it's important to you and you just keep moving. And Rebecca, we are near the end of our time, unfortunately, do you have any summing comments that you want to make?Rebecca Hoffman  24:09  Well, it just all goes too fast. We could talk all day about the art. Thank you, Nicole, for being with us today and talking with us about your work a little bit.Nicole Gordon  24:20  No. It was my pleasure. Thank you for the insightful commentary.Ray Loewe  24:23  Do you have any closing comments, you want to make anything that's important that you want to say?Nicole Gordon  24:30  Yeah, I think that we hit on a lot of the big important things and I got to say a lot about how I feel about it. But I think that to close it out what I do think for people, the most important thing is, is to just sort of step outside of your comfort zone and just try something new because you never know where that might lead. And that's kind of what I continually do. And I think that's the most important thing for myself and for others who want to sort of kickstart any kind of creative career?Ray Loewe  25:04  So thanks, Nicole, for showing us how to break the rules and change the rules. You did good. Okay. And we're gonna close out this podcast and Rebecca Hoffman will be with me as guest host again in another week, and we have a couple more incredible guests. And they're all well, nobody's as interesting as Nicole, but they're up there. How's that? Okay. So, thanks for being yeah, thanks for being with us on changing the rules. And we'll see you again in a week.Nicole Gordon  25:37  Good. Thanks so much.Kris Parsons  25:41  Thank you for listening to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do that too. Join us with your lively host of Ray Loewe, better known as the Luckiest Guy in the World.   

While 1 Psych is away the other 2 will play! With Erica on maternity leave, April and Shari will be inviting guest co-hosts to the mic for some fun and conversation! On this week’s episode, April and Shari sit down with James Patrick the Fitness Guru and owner of James Patrick Fitness and Wellness Studio (@jamespatrickfitnessandwellness) in Columbia, SC. Listen in as they chat about all things physical fitness and mental health. The trio dive into the interplay between mental and physical health and chat about ways they have used physical fitness routines to maintain their mental fitness and health. This week’s media minute covers dialogue about DMX and how the death of celebrities can play a role in our personal lives. For more information on our Guest Co-host find James on his website at: www.jamespatrick.guru/. He can also be found on Facebook and Instagram! Be sure to like, comment on, subscribe to, and share the show!

Today's guest - Roshawn Jones, Guest Co host Jenessa Otero Hosted by, Leah Renee, Shae Kay, Clyde & Jay - Stimmy Madness Round One - Call in to vote Give us a call 419.540.3566 – Become a sponsor – Visit http://the419grind.com/advertise - Follow us on Instagram – http://instagram.com/the419grind LISTEN ON: Apple Podcast: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/t... Listen On Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1qYs6Zl... Google Podcast: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=... The 419 Grind, LLC does not own the rights to any of this music ASCAP Streaming License 400009914 --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/the419grind/message

In this brand new episode of Raw & Uncut, Dan is joined once again by Guest Co-host Joe and the two have have a day of Zesty Topics! From the #FreeBritney movement, to what Dan got up to on his little getaway and something called "Top Privilege," you will be laughing right along withe these two! Oh yea, we NEED to talk about Luke Evans. So dive right in and enjoy episode 304 of Raw & Uncut! FOLLOW: @rawuncut_podcast @dan_castig

How content are you? A little? A lot? Sometimes you are and sometimes you aren’t?  The fact that we all have different answers to that question just shows how elusive the answer to the Contentment Conundrum remains for we humans. I’ve never met someone who said that being more Content didn’t appeal to them at all. And if Contentment was easy, we would have nailed it by now.  In this episode, we uncover some of the key reasons that Contentment eludes us and what to do about them--and get a lot closer to cracking the code on the Contentment Conundrum.    This Episode Goes Out to… The Contentment Conundrum comes up a lot in my line of work--whether in 1-1 coaching settings or in group settings like Graveyard Group masterminds. In fact, I dedicated this episode to the OG TGG, as we call it--the group of guys who came together for the first-ever Graveyard Group mastermind two years ago. I’m a player-coach in that group--it’s where I do my own Mortality-minded work to become the man I’m made to be and live the life I’m made to live. We’re still going strong, and another discussion around Contentment gave me the inspiration for this episode.    What is Contentment, Anyway? Before we dive in, let’s define what we mean by “Contentment.” For our purposes, we’ll call Contentment “an overall sense of satisfaction and wellbeing that’s based in reality and not dependent upon circumstances.” There may be other ways to describe or define it, but it’s this kind of Contentment that we’re chewing on. Let’s also touch on what we DON’T mean by “Contentment.” We don’t mean brainless bovine contentment--out of touch with and unaffected by real life in the real world, like a cow grazing in a field as the world swirls around them. There are at least a couple of ways to achieve this kind of contentment--this counterfeit of the real thing. One of them involves self-destructive use of substances or other reality-escaping practices. Another involves simply living in a chronic state of denial. In my opinion, neither of those end well or bring our best into the world. And if you’ve tuned into even just a few episodes already, then you know that in my book, that’s a terrible tragedy. Both for the liver of the life and the world they inhabit.  Paradoxically, although the first definition of Contentment requires more commitment and courage, it yields a bumper crop over time--while the second ultimately requires more desperate measures to maintain against the constant encroachments of reality upon its borders and, in the end, yields a harvest of mediocrity at best and ruin at worst.    My strong hunch, though, is that if you listen to this podcast, you’re much more interested in the first definition of Contentment.    Guest Co-host As I was chewing on how to approach this topic, I realized that I wanted to have a conversation about it rather than just share some thoughts in the usual solo episode way. So I invited my wife, Charis, to join me. She first appeared on Andrew Petty is Dying in ep. 021, Sometimes, the Grass IS Greener: How a Familiar Bit of Conventional Wisdom Could be Holding You Back from the Life You Were Made to Live. That episode wasn’t an audition, but if it had been, she would have “gotten the part.” And since evidently her first experience wasn’t overly traumatic (rumor has it, she actually enjoyed it!), she agreed to help me crack the code on the Contentment Conundrum with me, for you. Tune into the full episode to hear the many pearls of wisdom she adds to the conversation.   The Contentment Conundrum: Cracking the Code Our conversation was organized around two major headings: Contentment can’t be found by looking for it.  We experience Contentment as we persevere in becoming the person we were made to be and living the life we were made to live.    Contentment can’t be found by looking for it. Before we discussed how we obtain contentment, it was first important to dispel this underlying misconception. In my opinion, not only is it true that contentment can’t be found by looking for it, but the more intent we become on finding it, the more elusive it becomes. It’s like trying to hold on to an eel. Or chasing a mirage. Or mistaking the good times had in the car on a road trip for the purpose of the trip. Good times in the car on a road trip are a by-product of traveling to a destination--not the sole purpose of the trip.  In the rest of this part of the conversation, we discuss how time-honored self-care practices can actually feed into this misconception and create quite the opposite of contentment as a result.  And Charis shares what kind of shape I was in just 3 days after returning from my first-ever personal retreat. With this critical misconception addressed, we next unpaced what actually does produce contentment in our lives.    The Recipe for Contentment I think we experience contentment as we persevere in becoming the person we were made to be and living the life we were made to live. There are at least 5 key ingredients in the recipe for becoming the person we were made to be and living the lives we were made to live, including: Connection with a Higher Power  Finding and Traveling our Unique Path in Life with Guts, Gusto, Abandon, and Purpose Cultivating Positivity Practicing Presence and Possession Making People Our Priority We walk through this recipe step-by-step in the rest of the conversation, and Charis adds examples from her own life to help you “see” what we’re talking about--including a professional evolution that required a lot of guts and deeper self-knowledge from her and in the end produced a harvest of increased self-confidence and yep--contentment.  I think this recipe yields genuine contentment much like an exquisite meal yields amazing flavor and warmth in our belly. It’s not the meal itself, but it’s an awesome and welcome byproduct of it. This kind of contentment--genuine, deep, abiding contentment--comes with scars and wounds picked up in the battle of life. In fact, this kind of contentment is possible at least in part because of the scars and wounds acquired in the battle of life. We mistake freedom from suffering, stress, and hardship as a source of contentment. When in fact those are some of the most important ingredients in the recipe for living a life that produces Contentment along the way. Landing the Plane Our conversation concluded with two final points. First, we discussed the surprising value of discontentment. And secondly, we discussed how Mortality plays into all of this. Tune into the full episode    So What’s the “So What?” If you’re seeking more Contentment, first, stop looking for it. Then, commit instead to living the life you were made to live and becoming the person you were made to be. Pay attention to the discontentment indicators on the dashboard of your life. What system malfunction is it alerting you to? Check the recipe of your life. Which ingredient in the recipe for becoming the person you were made to be and living the life you were made to live isn’t there in sufficient measure or is absent altogether? And as you discover and travel your unique Path in life with greater guts, gusto, abandon, and Purpose, you’ll start to notice the presence of a very welcome and pleasant companion:  Contentment.  Contentment that’s not dependent on fickle circumstances. Contentment that’s rugged and durable and UP TO YOU!  Remember, you ARE going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it!   I Can Help You With Mortality as our motivator, this podcast exists to help you cultivate the Mindset and the Means to live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. That’s my purpose as a coach, too.  Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me. Go here to learn about Graveyard Group masterminds----where we make time each week to invest in your life's most important work.   Episodes Mentioned in This Episode   Ep. 003 | How to Turn Your Imperfections Into Superpowers: The Key to Unlocking Your Unique Purpose Ep. 007 | Kites in the Graveyard: Learning to Let Go at the Intersection of Grief and Joy Ep. 011 | Embracing Mystery, When to Call It a Day, and What Matters Most: Lessons from an Astonishing Life-After-Death Story Ep. 018 | Life's 3 Big Questions: A Conversation with the Coroner Ep. 021 | Sometimes, the Grass IS Greener: How a Familiar Bit of Conventional Wisdom Could be Holding You Back from the Life You Were Made to Live Ep. 023 | Forged in Fire: What You Learn About Life and Death from 25 Years in the Fire Service     If you liked this episode, you might like these, too...   Ep. 010 | Life is a House With Many Rooms: Would Your House Pass Inspection? Ep. 014 | Dare to Dream Again: The Antidote to a Mediocre Life Ep. 016 | The Question That Changes Everything: The Go-to Tool for Living the Life You Were Made to Live Ep. 017 | Busting the "Balance" Myth: A Better Way     Subscribe to Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review! Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher

Unqualified commentary on allegedly real news. Guest Co-host: Eric Mulder from WTM Watch This Movie Podcast. Topics on this episode include: - Where do you see yourself in 5 years? - It's usually not explosive until later - Another origin story reboot? Links to articles discussed: Washington man arrested mid-interview — for a job with state police https://nypost.com/2020/11/19/washington-man-arrested-mid-interview-for-a-job-with-state-police/amp/?__twitter_impression=true Chick-fil-A's Polynesian sauce spontaneously explodes, customers claim https://nypost.com/2020/12/18/chick-fil-as-polynesian-sauce-spontaneously-explodes-customers-claim/amp/?__twitter_impression=true 'Who you gonna call?' Huge sinkhole with a glowing green liquid oozing out is found on Toronto street - as city officials say its only non-toxic dye https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8971515/amp/Huge-sinkhole-glowing-green-liquid-appears-Toronto-street.html?__twitter_impression=true Contact info: Twitter: www.twitter.com/positivelywolf1 Email: positivelywolfie@comast.net Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/positivelywolfie Promo: WTM Watch This Movie Podcast WTM Watch This Movie Links: www.wtmwatchthismovie.com www.twitter.com/watchthis_movie www.teespring.com/stores/wtmwatchthismovie --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wolfie-t/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wolfie-t/support

And just like that, Raw & Uncut is back with all new episodes, stories, name, oh and we have a new host too! This week join Dan and Guest Co-host Marc as they talk about all things dating and relationships, that pesky instagram GaysOverCovid, and "straight" guys (yes the word straight is in quotes for a reason). Listen to the end for a surprising story from Dan. This episode is one not to miss!

Dating hooking up & relationships Guest Co host Thoughts with T --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

The title may sound gross, but we promise it has significance for your youth ministry. The more unhealthy we become internally, the more tempting it can be to separate ourselves from the messages we share with our students. Guest Co-host Eben Eddy and James Sabin challenge us to take a step back and ask the question, "Do I really believe what I am about to share with my students?" And If not, what we can do about it. Follow me at the following social media links below and reach out at my email address. Would love to hear from you and to respond and interact with any questions or comments you may have. Blessings!Would love to connect with you...Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ym_soul_keeper_podcast/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Youth-Ministry-Soul-Keeper-Podcast-112370807089603/?modal=admin_todo_tourTwitter - https://twitter.com/youth_keeperWould love to hear from you with questions and comments at the following email: ymsoulkeeper@gmail.comPodcast FriendsDYM Podcast – http://bit.ly/341g9e4Youth Ministry Hacks – http://bit.ly/2WazOoYWhat It is, What It Means – http://bit.ly/2p08w8VMy Third Decade – http://bit.ly/2UzlpjLFifteen Minutes With Frank - https://bit.ly/2I7E0msYM Lab – http://bit.ly/2pO1GDmThe Morning After Ministry Show – http://bit.ly/2ofNLpbParent Tips – http://bit.ly/32MzM9nYW’s Guide to Video Games – http://bit.ly/2Wds7yDYouth Ministry Sherpas – https://bit.ly/31VIIvsMiddle School Ministry – https://bit.ly/2BHezWj

Guest Co-host: Peter Zimmerman

Guest Co-host: David Anderson

Guest Co-host Brit Bouie and Nwach open up on what people really seem to want out of their friendships nowadays in our current social climate. The two also discuss those clear differences between male and female friendships and how those expectations tend to become more pressure packed as you get older.

WCW Decides to get into the movie business and Vince Russo makes bad decisions as he always does by putting the WCW Heavyweight Championship on Actor David Arquette! Are You Ready? Because Alex Thorn and special Guest Co-host Mike Stover Are Ready To Rumble! Subscribe to the Stoverload Podcast on Spotify! https://spoti.fi/30apCQP Over AF central hub! www.Overafpod.Com Follow Over AF Wrestling Podcast on Twitter www.Twitter.com/OverAFPod Subscribe to Over Af on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2pdQKR4KgTPZCir5wsGQqw Follow Alex Thorn on Twitter & Facebook www.Twitter.com/UltimateThorn www.instagram.com/UltimateThorn Follow Danny Garcia on Instagram and Twitter www.instagram.com/im_danny_g www.Twitter.com/OverAFDannyG Help support the show (Monthly Bandwidth, advertising etc) Www.PayPal.me/Thorn For Sponsorship inquiries please write to  OverAFpod@yahoo.com

Unqualified commentary on allegedly real news. Guest Co-host: Eric Mulder from WTM Watch This Movie Podcast. Topics on this episode include: - Having a good time - What did I miss? - Happy birthday! Links to articles discussed: CASINO HEIST MAN PULLS OFF $100K SCAM WITH PROSTHETIC FACE MASK https://amp.tmz.com/2020/07/25/prosthetic-mask-heist-one-hundred-thousand-dollars/?__twitter_impression=true Man Believed to Have Been Murdered Found Alive in Woods After 5 Years https://amp.toofab.com/2020/08/05/man-believed-murdered-found-alive-woods-5-years/?__twitter_impression=true Morgue workers fired over cake decorated with black penis https://nypost.com/2020/08/03/michigan-morgue-workers-fired-over-cake-decorated-with-black-penis/amp/?__twitter_impression=true Contact info: Twitter: www.twitter.com/positivelywolf1 Email: positivelywolfie@comast.net Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/positivelywolfie Promo: WTM Watch This Movie Podcast WTM Watch This Movie Links: www.wtmwatchthismovie.com www.twitter.com/watchthis_movie www.teespring.com/stores/wtmwatchthismovie --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wolfie-t/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wolfie-t/support

This week on Haunted Voices Radio, Todd and Guest Co-host Nicole Strickland welcome guest William Brower.  They discuss all things regarding the RMS Titanic from her first voyage, to why she sank.  They also talk with William about meeting some of the survivors and their reactions to this tragedy.  Could the sinking of this luxury liner have been prevented?  Listen and find out the historical facts!  

Unqualified commentary on allegedly real news. Guest Co-host: Stephen Settanni from A Comedy Advice Podcast. Topics on this episode include: - Check please - We have to go back - El Chapo? More like El Gato Links to articles discussed: Florida man buys Porsche with fake check printed from home computer https://nypost.com/2020/08/03/florida-man-buys-porsche-with-fake-check-printed-from-home-computer/amp/?__twitter_impression=true SOS message saves men stranded on tiny, uninhabited island https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/amp/news/story/sos-message-saves-men-stranded-tiny-uninhabited-island-72164197?__twitter_impression=true Cat Detained for Smuggling Drugs Escapes Sri Lankan Prison https://people.com/pets/cat-trained-to-smuggle-drugs-escapes-prison-sri-lanka/?amp=true&utm_campaign=peoplemagazine&utm_content=new&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_term=5f29b3f0cb760200018d235e&__twitter_impression=true Contact info: Twitter: www.twitter.com/positivelywolf1 Email: positivelywolfie@comast.net Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/positivelywolfie Promo: A Comedy Advice Podcast A Comedy Advice Podcast Links: https://acomedyadvicepodcast.com instagram.com/acomedyadvicepodcast Twitter @acomedypodcast --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wolfie-t/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wolfie-t/support

Hey Hey my Gyrls! OR Should I say…MIGHTY, incredible, BEAUTIFUL, powerful, SUPERWOMAN! This episode we have a special treat with the Writer's Mob and the winner of Leah Daniels-Butler's Quarantine Monologue Challenge! Please join j Marie and her guest co-host: Justina, Joandrea Reynolds, Kristina Sullivan and my Wise man Matt as we talk about being a SUPERWOMAN! They will also let us in a little something for the One Woman show that drops this Summer 2020! Let's talk about the greatest being on earth today! The WOMAN and just how awesome she an be! We are still in the music theme month and this song “Superwoman” by A Keys has always motivated me. I must encourage you because the lyrics are true! Credits: (Instagram Handles)* Host: j Marie ( @GyrltalkwithjMariepodcast)* Executive Producer: Jennifer Marie (@GyrltalkwithjMariepodcast )* Written By: Jennifer Marie and Mona Elizabeth (@mo_thatsme) (@GyrltalkwithjMariepodcast)* Producer: Mona Elizabeth (@mo_thatsme)* Background Music: Mike Miller (@guitarsurfer)Guest Co-host: Writer's Mob LA and Justina!* Studio: Home STUDIOS QUARANTINED * Prayer Ministry: (@PrayerOnTheSpot) Thank you so much for listening! Please subscribe and follow us on all platforms! Til next time! xoxo j Marie!Instagram: @GyrltalkwithjMariepodcastwww.gyrltalkwithjMarie.comSubscribe to our podcast and YouTube Channel

We all are searching for the purpose of life and when we find it some call that a moment of clarity! Guest Co-host Bryan Salmond (@bryannews3lv) and E.J Cutliff (@ejcutliff ) sit down with Raiders tight end Darren Waller (@Rackkwall) Maybe you have heard some of the story on HBO Hard Knocks but come tap in with us as we take you on a deeper journey of this new age Renaissance Man! Darren Waller:Foundation - https://darrenwaller.org/ + Music YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnFALxFjTo4KZAuxDnfMhIA+++++++++For more Black in Sports additional content on our podcast see linktree: https://linktr.ee/blackinsports |Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/blackinsports | YouTube - @blackinsports | Instagram - @blackinsports | Twitter - @blackinsports | Thank you & we appreciate you!#fortheculture #blackinsports #sportsbusiness #podcast #tellingblackstories #blackowned

Guest Co-host Deborah Pegues: Choose Your Attitude, Change Your Life Got Endorphins?  Boosting our Happy Hormone naturally! Hang on! Nationally acclaimed comedian NAZARETH is in the house! Bring the gift of laughter into your home: Power your parenting with humor Support the show: https://www.bringitupmedia.com/give See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information.

Join Kimi and Guest Co-host, Aaron (@thoughtsbyaaron) as Aaron discusses his personal journey overcoming Toxic Masculinity. This societal conditioning that has jeopardized the health and wellness of men in our community is dismantled with honest, raw conversation. It is powerful and empowering, an episode to be shared with all the boys and men in our lives. We dive further into establishing boundaries, communicating toxic patterns with our parents and discussing anonymous submissions.Follow Aaron’s journey @thoughtsbyaaron on Instagram or his style guide inspiration @outfitbyaaron.Go to www.klaritybyk.com to submit your thoughts, reflections or experiences under the Ask Klarity By K. Promo Box anonymously for a chance to be featured.

Join Kimi and Guest Co-host, Aaron (@thoughtsbyaaron) as Aaron discusses his personal journey overcoming Toxic Masculinity. This societal conditioning that has jeopardized the health and wellness of men in our community is dismantled with honest, raw conversation. It is powerful and empowering, an episode to be shared with all the boys and men in our lives. We dive further into establishing boundaries, communicating toxic patterns with our parents and discussing anonymous submissions. Follow Aaron’s journey @thoughtsbyaaron on Instagram or his style guide inspiration @outfitbyaaron. Go to www.klaritybyk.com to submit your thoughts, reflections or experiences under the Ask Klarity By K. Promo Box anonymously for a chance to be featured.

Join Kimi and Guest Co-host, Meenakshi, Founder of The Lotus Movement (IG @the_lotus_movement) as they discuss their personal experiences with anxiety and postpartum anxiety. Meenakshi speaks about the importance of normalizing the conversation surrounding mental health and her journey with Postpartum Anxiety after having her baby girl. Check out www.klaritybyk.com to submit your experience anonymously under Ask Klarity By K. for a chance to be discussed on the podcast or on Instagram at the official @KlaritybyK account.

Join Kimi and Guest Co-host, Meenakshi, Founder of The Lotus Movement (IG @the_lotus_movement) as they discuss their personal experiences with anxiety and postpartum anxiety. Meenakshi speaks about the importance of normalizing the conversation surrounding mental health and her journey with Postpartum Anxiety after having her baby girl. Check out www.klaritybyk.com to submit your experience anonymously under Ask Klarity By K. for a chance to be discussed on the podcast or on Instagram at the official @KlaritybyK account.

Join Kimi and Guest Co-host, Reena (@reenastar) as Reena shares her recent experience with miscarriage. Reena walks us through how she felt the team of medical professionals failed her, what to expect and how she is navigating this path of grief and loss. Her heartfelt message to mothers who have yet to become mothers and those who have experienced loss is deeply inspiring.

Join Kimi and Guest Co-host, Reena (@reenastar) as Reena shares her recent experience with miscarriage. Reena walks us through how she felt the team of medical professionals failed her, what to expect and how she is navigating this path of grief and loss. Her heartfelt message to mothers who have yet to become mothers and those who have experienced loss is deeply inspiring.

Join Kimi and Guest Co-host, Harina from @realquickpodcast, as they dive into self-reflection and looking inward on the Black Lives Matter movement. We uncover hidden biases, shine light on South Asian culture and anti-blackness and speak to the history of systemic racism.

Join Kimi and Guest Co-host, Harina from @realquickpodcast, as they dive into self-reflection and looking inward on the Black Lives Matter movement. We uncover hidden biases, shine light on South Asian culture and anti-blackness and speak to the history of systemic racism.

Join Kimi and Guest Co-host, Amen as they discuss Amen’s journey with infant loss. Amen walks us through her story and how she is currently coping with such a tragic loss. Follow along on Instagram @KlaritybyK or go to www.klaritybyk.com to submit your Anonymous Ask Klarity By K. submission.

Join Kimi and Guest Co-host, Amen as they discuss Amen’s journey with infant loss. Amen walks us through her story and how she is currently coping with such a tragic loss. Follow along on Instagram @KlaritybyK or go to www.klaritybyk.com to submit your Anonymous Ask Klarity By K. submission.

Join Kimi and Guest Co-host, Amen as they discuss Amen’s journey with infant loss. Amen walks us through her story and how she is currently coping with such a tragic loss. Follow along on Instagram @KlaritybyK or go to www.klaritybyk.com to submit your Anonymous Ask Klarity By K. submission.

Join Kimi and Guest Co-host, Amen as they discuss Amen’s journey with infant loss. Amen walks us through her story and how she is currently coping with such a tragic loss. Follow along on Instagram @KlaritybyK or go to www.klaritybyk.com to submit your Anonymous Ask Klarity By K. submission.

Julie and Guest Co-host Carolyn Bobb sat down with Matt Morrison, executive director of Working America, to discuss how the affiliate union is mobilizing millions of workers from all demographics who otherwise lack representation at work.