Andrew Petty is Dying

I met Dr. Mike Barnes in 2018, when I served as executive coach for the leadership at the Foundry, the addiction treatment center here in Steamboat Springs, CO, where he served as Clinical Director. My respect and appreciation for Mike grew quickly in the course of that partnership, built especially upon Mike's willingness to learn from anything and anyone–despite the long alphabet salad of credentials behind his name and his position of esteem in the addiction treatment, trauma, and family therapy community. Since then, our paths have continued to cross, and I've continued to benefit greatly from his friendship and mentorship.  This year, he published his first book, When the Solution Becomes the Problem: Helping Families Struggling with Addiction and Trauma. Unlike most books on families and addiction that give prescriptive advice, this book partners with families to help them understand why implementing expert recommendations can be so challenging. By delving into the “why,” families gain insights into their current crisis and the factors contributing to it. Ultimately, the book aims to guide families away from the perspective of “we are a family with a loved one who struggles with addiction” towards embracing the identity of “we are a family in recovery from addiction and trauma.” By fostering understanding, empathy, and actionable guidance, it empowers families to break free from the cycle of addiction and trauma, promoting healing and a renewed sense of togetherness. It's a pleasure to introduce you to Mike and provide a glimpse into an innovative and compassionate approach to helping families struggling with addiction and trauma.    Let's Connect If this episode helped you, I'd love to know. Find me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.   Connect with Mike Email | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | Website    Get Mike's Book   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts

At the beginning of 2024, Chris Ray embarked on a new Adventure. We captured Chris' thoughts and expectations at the beginning of the Adventure in Ep. 096. This is the promised "after" episode, in which Chris and I explore how the Adventure impacted him.  Chris' story showcases the power of the Big 6 to create big results in our lives. The Big 6 are essential ingredients in the recipe for a life we're outrageously proud of: Courage, Humility, Truth-telling, Self-permission, Self-responsibility, and Self-knowledge. Tune in to Ep. 095, How to Become Someone You Feel Genuinely Good About, for a deep dive into the Big 6.   I hope this episode is useful to you! As always, thank you for your time, trust, and attention.   Remember, you ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   How Did This Episode Land for You? I'd love to know. Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Connect with Chris Email | Instagram | Facebook (public) | Facebook (private) | Website    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 086 | The Best is Yet to Come: Rediscovering an Ancient Compass for a Life of Purpose and Adventure Today Ep. 090 | A Tale of Two Mountaineers: How Comfort Sabotages Our Contentment, and What To Do About It Ep. 092 | Crack the Contentment Code: Find the Path to Contentment Ep. 094 | Beyond Resolutions: A Heroic Path to Your Best Year Yet   New Here? If you're new to this show, welcome! I invite you to browse the archive of past interviews with fascinating people and short, topical solo episodes--all designed to equip you with the mindset and the means to become the person you were made to be and live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. We flip the script by inviting our ancient foe, Death, to become an unlikely ally in our heroic journey to leave it all out on the field of life. Mortality might just be the best motivator available--blasting us out of our ambivalence and complacency and toward the fullness of our potential. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Thank you for your time, trust, and attention. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.

In this episode, I sit down with my pastor and friend, Chris Marsh, to dig into how a very recent and very close encounter with Mortality has impacted him and his family. Along the way, we explore: how to find solid ground in the face of crippling fear the necessity of appealing to the transcendent the gift of suffering As always, thank you for your time, trust, and attention.  Remember, you ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   Let's Connect If this episode helped you, I'd love to know. Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Connect with Chris: Email    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 011 | Embracing Mystery, When to Call It a Day, and What Matters Most: Lessons from an Astonishing Life-After-Death Story Ep. 018 | Life's 3 Big Questions: A Conversation with the Coroner  

In a hurry? Like me, you might do well to tap into some wisdom from the farm.  On this episode, I offer a confession en route to extracting some wisdom from the farm that applies to all of us if we're willing to hear it.  I also offer what I suspect is a much-needed clarification of what I mean by “get after it”--the phrase with which I close my standard episode sign-off. If you're often in a hurry and “get after it” only makes it worse, be sure to stay tuned in to the end of this episode.  Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   Let's Connect Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too EP 095 | How to Become Someone You Feel Genuinely Good About EP 075 | Keep Going: The Underrated Secret to a Wonderful Life  

How can we stay positive and free from fear when the news is overwhelmingly bad and fear-based? I got this topic idea in the form of a question from a good friend and a former guest on this show, Frederic Tate. You can find him on Ep. 056 Ignore at Your Own Risk: How Your Relationship with Death Affects Your Quality of Life, with Dr. Frederic Tate. Frederic's a fascinating guy with a fascinating story. I thoroughly enjoyed that interview, and I wholeheartedly recommend that episode.  Frederic's experience is that it is difficult to stay positive and free from fear when he perceives the news to be overwhelmingly bad and fear-based. Many of you can relate. It is a wild time to be alive on planet earth.  In this episode, I offer 5 specific ways to stay positive and free from fear when the news is overwhelmingly bad and fear-based: Practice solitude. Consume the news in small doses and pick your sources thoughtfully. Invest much more of your time, energy, and attention in things that are within your realm of influence than in things that aren't.  Nurture meaningful relationships and cultivate more as needed.  Cultivate a relationship with the Transcendent.  I elaborate quite a bit on each of those five points, and point three has several supporting subpoints, so tune into the full episode for the full benefit–including a discussion of some of the particular perils and pitfalls to avoid that are uniquely associated with the globalized age we live in.   Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   Let's Connect Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise Ep. 081 | How to Change the World: An Antidote to Apathy and Despair in an Age of Doom and Gloom  

What is bravery, and why is it so important? What are some of the common counterfeits of bravery? How can we detect and eliminate them from our own lives? How can we get braver?  As an “arms dealer for the creative revolution," Todd Henry is the author of seven books and a veteran podcaster of 19 years who speaks internationally on creativity, productivity, and passion for work, and helps people and teams generate brilliant ideas.  Todd's new book, The Brave Habit, is a concise, persuasive, and timely treatise on bravery. In today's conversation, we explore bravery through the lens of The Brave Habit in pursuit of actionable insights for all of us. Todd also shares how an encounter with Mortality when he was 15 radically altered his perception of risk and what's most important.   I first invited Todd to be on the show in early 2020. The timing wasn't right for a variety of reasons, though, and then COVID hit and all bets were off for a while. I'm grateful four years later to be able to bring you Todd's wisdom and insights today.    In this episode, you will learn how to: Cultivate authentic bravery in your daily life to unlock more of your potential in service to others.  Overcome fear by taking action and embrace the exhilarating freedom on the other side. Embrace the impact of mortality on life choices and discover the transformative power it holds.   Key moments in this episode include: 00:00:00 - The Deceptive Nature of Fear 00:00:54 - Importance of Bravery 00:02:04 - Cultivating the Brave Habit 00:04:43 - Todd Henry's Journey to Brave Habit 00:07:38 - The Definition of Bravery 00:13:40 - Starting Over with Daily Creative 00:14:44 - The Right Thing to Do 00:17:32 - Bravery as a Habit 00:18:53 - Close Encounter with Mortality 00:23:32 - Connecting with Todd Henry's Work  Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   Let's Connect Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Connect with Todd Email |  Website | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | Twitter Get your copy of The Brave Habit.    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 005 | How to Become the Boss of Your Fear: Bravery-building to Live With More Guts and Gusto Ep. 077 | The Big 6 (Part 1): Essential Ingredients in the Recipe for a Life You'll be Outrageously Proud of When You Die

This episode is different in a few notable ways. First, it's extemporaneous. Second, I recorded it to video for release on my fledgling YouTube channel, where all of my past episodes currently reside. Finally, I share news about the future of the podcast–an ending to make way for a new beginning.  Key moments in this episode include: 00:00:01 - Embracing Change and New Beginnings 00:03:24 - Pursuing a Unified Framework 00:08:07 - Making Bold Choices 00:11:10 - Moving Forward with Conviction 00:13:48 - Seeking Audience Input Remember, you ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   Let's Connect Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.     Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise Ep. 032 | Reimagining Productivity: A Path to Greater Freedom and Fulfillment

Do you ever feel powerless against your hurts, hang-ups, and habits?  Chris Ray's hurts, hang-ups, and habits literally killed him. Remarkably, his encounter with Mortality wasn't permanent, and Chris returned transformed. Chris is no longer powerless against his hurts, hang-ups, and habits because he has learned to look up and let go.  If we have ears to hear, we can learn the same lessons from Chris' story without a harrowing ordeal of our own. If we have the courage to add Action to our Insights, we can experience transformation, too.  I met Chris through a mutual friend here in Steamboat. His warmth, openness, and lack of pretense were simultaneously a bit disarming and a refreshing change. Chris exudes his unique brand of warmth, openness, and lack of pretense, but I realize that it's a combination of qualities that I often encounter in those in the Recovery community. It occurs to me, too, that I belong to that community now, due to the alcohol-free Adventure I've embarked on in 2024. I certainly don't claim to embody those qualities yet like Chris does, but I hope to someday, and Chris is a wonderful role model in that respect.  Tune in to Ep. 094, Beyond Resolutions: A Heroic Path to Your Best Year Yet, to learn more about my recovery journey en route to considering how you can go beyond resolutions to your best year yet, too.  I would be remiss if I didn't publicly thank Chris for his part in encouraging me to accept this new Call to Adventure.  In this episode, discover how a brush with death led to an unexpected journey of adventure and self-discovery. Follow Chris' path from addiction to recovery and to a life-changing retreat in Costa Rica. Hear how looking up and letting go transformed his perspective on life, and find out why he decided to drop social media altogether. This is not just a travel story – it's a powerful lesson in embracing the unknown and finding peace through letting go. And the best part? Chris is not done yet. This is Part 1 of 2–before and after the Costa Rica Adventure. Tune in to find out what he's discovering about himself and how it could inspire your own journey.    Some Key Moments: 00:00:00 - Facing Mortality and Recovery Journey 00:03:20 - Transformative Recovery Journey 00:08:14 - Soboat's Growth and Impact 00:12:47 - Galvanizing Near-Death Experience 00:13:41 - Spiritual Awakening and Rebirth 00:14:14 - Surrendering to Something Greater 00:17:38 - Wrestling with Experience 00:19:31 - Appreciating Life After Encountering Death 00:23:02 - Dependence on a Higher Power 00:27:45 - Embracing Faith and Intuition 00:29:37 - The Search for Balance 00:32:28 - Redemptive Effects of Suffering 00:33:01 - The Call to Adventure 00:39:53 - Embracing the Present and Letting Go 00:42:25 - Gaining Perspective and Embracing Community 00:44:11 - Embracing Involuntary and Voluntary Adventures 00:45:32 - Post-Costa Rica Adventure 00:46:36 - Hero's Journey and Personal Growth 00:47:30 - Curiosity and Mundane Adventures 00:51:27 - Disconnecting and Embracing the Unknown   Do the Work, Just Don't Try to Do It Alone Look up, let go, and live! Only you can do the work, but you can't do the work alone. None of us can. I always offer one free coaching session. Visit my website to schedule your free session.  Thank you for your time, attention, and trust. Don't forget to follow this show and share it with your friends. I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying--Lord willin' and the creek don't rise!    How Did This Episode Land for You? I'd love to know. Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Connect with Chris Email | Instagram | Facebook (public) | Facebook (private) | Website    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 086 | The Best is Yet to Come: Rediscovering an Ancient Compass for a Life of Purpose and Adventure Today Ep. 090 | A Tale of Two Mountaineers: How Comfort Sabotages Our Contentment, and What To Do About It Ep. 092 | Crack the Contentment Code: Find the Path to Contentment Ep. 094 | Beyond Resolutions: A Heroic Path to Your Best Year Yet   New to Andrew Petty is Dying? Welcome! I invite you to browse the archive of past interviews with fascinating people and short, topical solo episodes--all designed to equip you with the mindset and the means to become the person you were made to be and live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. We flip the script by inviting our ancient foe, Death, to become an unlikely ally in our heroic journey to leave it all out on the field of life. Turns out, Mortality might just be the best motivator available--blasting us out of our ambivalence and complacency and toward the fullness of our potential.

Who are you?  A big question, for sure, and not a slow pitch over the plate for most of us. But it's a pitch that is critical for us to get good at hitting.  As of this recording, I'm just a couple days removed from the first Growth Camp of 2024, where we plumbed the time-proven depths of the Hero's Journey framework to go beyond resolutions and discover a heroic path to our best year yet. Once again, the importance of who we are–that is, the quality of our character and our responses in life's defining moments–rose to the surface and stayed there, demanding our attention, resisting our instinctive attempts to boil life down to a set of tips, tricks, hacks, and strategies; and calling us to become even better humans.  I've tackled the question of who we are before. In fact, in one way or another, every episode of this podcast is about who we are. I tackled this topic directly, though, in episodes 77 and 78, a two-part series devoted to what I call The Big 6–essential ingredients in the recipe for a life you'll be outrageously proud of when you die.  In this episode, I pull the Big 6 from the proverbial back burner to the front burner to reheat them for all of us. The path illuminated for us by The Big 6 isn't sexy, it's not easy, and it's paved with discomfort. But this path corresponds with Reality and leads to meaning, purpose, true significance, and becoming someone we feel genuinely good about. Arduous as it may be, I find that path preferable to one divorced from Reality that ultimately leads to meaninglessness, purposelessness, insignificance, and becoming someone I genuinely despise.  Tune in for the guts of the original two episodes on the Big 6 combined into one episode and reset in the context of key qualities that will lead us to feel genuinely good about who we are and lead a life of meaning, purpose, and significance. Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   I Have a Favor to Ask I want this show to reach many more people. If it has been helpful to you, I invite you to share it with others for their benefit. It can be as simple as texting an episode that was meaningful to you to a friend. For extra credit, post an episode on social media.  This is where the marketing folks would probably say I should incentivize you with a freebie of some sort. But I'm going to appeal to a different part of you instead–the higher and even better part of you that finds joy and fulfillment in simply improving other people's lives and knowing that their improvement ripples outward to the rest of the world.  Thank you! I'm grateful for your trust, time, and attention. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   How can I Help? Let's Connect.  I'd love to meet you and be of service. I offer one free coaching session. Schedule yours now.   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 087 | The Question That Changes Everything (Reboot): The Go-to Tool for Living the Life You Were Made to Live Ep. 075 | Keep Going: The Underrated Secret to a Wonderful Life

Each new year presents the opportunity for a new adventure. Often we start out strong but fizzle in a month or two. Our fragile resolve sabotages even our most well-intended and heartfelt resolutions.  We need something stronger than our own resolve and more reliable than our resolutions.  As we kick off a new year, I invite you to go with me beyond resolutions to find a heroic path to your best year yet.    In this episode, you will: Learn about the Hero's Journey. Be equipped to embark on a transformative journey through the Hero's journey framework. Discover a path to profound inner transformation. Discover the power of going beyond resolutions. Explore the path to personal growth and adventure.   Key moments in this episode include: 00:00:00 - New Year, New Adventure 00:01:41 - The Hero's Journey Framework 00:06:51 - Alcohol-free: My New Adventure in 2024 00:09:51 - Call to Adventure 00:13:53 - Embracing the Call to Adventure 00:16:03 - The Nature of the Adventure 00:17:31 - Enlisting Companions and Allies 00:21:28 - Invitation to Growth Camp 2024 | Beyond Resolutions: A Heroic Path to Your Best Year Yet   Go Beyond Resolutions & Find Your Heroic Path to Your Best Year Yet Join me Saturday, January 20, 9am - 5pm, at the first Growth Camp of 2024, called Beyond Resolutions: A Heroic Path to Your Best Year Yet. You will tap into the timeless wisdom of the Hero's Journey to acquire a trustworthy compass and the right resources for your best year yet. In-person and virtual options are available, so don't let a little thing like geography get in your way.  Go here for full details and registration.  This year, go beyond resolutions and embark on a new adventure. Don't just dream of change; unleash the hero within and make your dreams a reality. Secure your spot at Growth Camp, and kick off your New Year with unprecedented clarity, courage, and purpose.   Let's Connect Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 086 | The Best is Yet to Come: Rediscovering an Ancient Compass for a Life of Purpose and Adventure Today Ep. 090 | A Tale of Two Mountaineers: How Comfort Sabotages Our Contentment, and What To Do About It Ep. 091 | My Hero's Journey: Lessons Learned on the Road to Growth Camp 2023

Are you tired of feeling stuck and overwhelmed in the face of life's challenges? Have you tried to push away pain and ignore its lessons, only to find yourself feeling even more lost and disconnected? It's time to break free from the ineffective pattern of avoiding pain and embrace it as a powerful teacher. By leaning into the discomfort and allowing ourselves to learn from our pain, we open the door to personal growth and resilience. It's time to rewrite your story and discover the transformative power of embracing pain as a teacher.   In this episode, you will: Discover how Audrey Dwyer's personal journey can inspire resilience and personal growth. Learn the transformative power of embracing pain as a teacher for personal development. Explore the journey of overcoming addiction and trauma and finding hope for the future. Uncover secrets to finding purpose and making a meaningful difference in your life and the lives of others. Tap into the transformative power of vulnerability and its impact on personal growth and resilience.   My special guest is Audrey Dwyer Audrey has faced and overcome numerous challenges in her life. From addiction to a life-changing heart surgery, her story is a testament to the power of embracing pain as a teacher. Audrey has gained valuable insights into the transformative nature of pain and the potential it holds for personal growth and resilience, and they're available to all of us in today's conversation. Audrey's story serves as a reminder that even in our darkest moments, there is always the opportunity for redemption and growth. You'll be inspired and empowered to face life's challenges with courage and resilience so you can secure the treasures available to you on the other side.    Key moments in this episode include: 00:01:01 - Audrey's Story Begins 00:05:17 - Hospitalization and Heart Surgery 00:08:02 - Recovery and Reflection 00:09:46 - Current Journey and Recovery 00:12:54 - Coping Mechanisms and Family Dynamics 00:14:18 - Lack of Communication and Emotional Expression 00:15:27 - The Importance of Talking About Loss 00:18:15 - The Impact of Avoidance and Regret 00:19:09 - Embracing Life and Taking Control 00:25:26 - The Importance of Commitment 00:26:39 - The Challenges of Commitment 00:29:47 - The Journey to Self-Commitment 00:31:30 - Overcoming Chaos and Finding Clarity 00:33:43 - Love Your Scars and Embracing Challenges 00:39:00 - Finding Healing and Acceptance 00:40:39 - Overcoming the Lowest Low 00:41:53 - Embracing the Beginner's Mindset 00:43:52 - Love Your Scars Movement 00:48:12 - Embracing the Messy Middle 00:52:37 - Moving Towards the What 00:53:33 - Author of Your Own Story 00:54:04 - Courage in Vulnerability 00:55:14 - Connecting with Audrey 00:56:14 - Embracing Mortality Remember, you ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   Until We Meet Again–Lord Willin' and the Creek Don't Rise! This is the final episode of 2023. I look forward to resuming the Adventure of tapping into the power of our Mortality in 2024. Until then, I wish you and yours a very happy holiday season. Revel in the moment. Seize the day. Keep in mind what matters most. Summon the courage to say what needs to be said, do what needs to be done, and live like there's no tomorrow.  For those of you who missed Growth Camp 2023, stay tuned for details about the first Growth Camp of 2024, coming in January. It's a perfect way to kickstart your year and put yourself on a path of unprecedented Purpose and Adventure.  Thank you once again for your time, trust, and attention, today and throughout 2023. It's a privilege and a pleasure to be invited into your lives and hearts and minds as, together, we pursue deeper understanding about how to conduct ourselves in the world to get the best results with our lives.  I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show and share it with your friends, and I'll see you next year on Andrew Petty is Dying--Lord willin' and the creek don't rise!   Let's Connect Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Connect with Audrey Email | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | Website    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 012 | How to Harness the Winds of Discomfort to Get Where You Want to Go: Becoming a Seasoned Sailor on the Seas of Life Ep. 019 | The Cockpit is Yours: From Passenger to Pilot Ep. 077 | The Big 6 (Part 1): Essential Ingredients in the Recipe for a Life You'll be Outrageously Proud of When You Die Ep. 078 | The Big 6 (Part 2): Essential Ingredients in the Recipe for a Life You'll be Outrageously Proud of When You Die Ep. 086 | The Best is Yet to Come: Rediscovering an Ancient Compass for a Life of Purpose and Adventure Today Ep. 090 | A Tale of Two Mountaineers: How Comfort Sabotages Our Contentment, and What To Do About It  

If you're feeling trapped in a cycle of constant striving and never reaching true contentment, you're not alone. Maybe you've been chasing external achievements, thinking they will bring you lasting fulfillment, only to find that they leave you empty inside. Perhaps you've been seeking validation from others, hoping that their approval will bring you a sense of worth, only to discover that it's fleeting and insubstantial. Or maybe you've been relentlessly pursuing material possessions, believing they will bring you happiness, only to realize that they only provide temporary satisfaction.  But there is another way to find contentment, one that involves cultivating a deep sense of purpose and inner peace that transcends external circumstances.   In this episode, you will: Discover the key to finding contentment and unlock a fulfilling life. Embrace personal growth and purpose to create a meaningful and satisfying journey. Cultivate positivity and practice possession to experience true happiness and fulfillment. Address discontentment head-on and learn how to navigate life's challenges with resilience and grace. Explore the power of embracing mortality and gain a new perspective on what truly matters in life. It's a pleasure to welcome my wife, Charis, back as my special guest to help us crack the contentment code. Through personal anecdotes and practical strategies, Charis and I will help you uncover the main reasons contentment eludes us and provide actionable steps to crack the contentment code.   The key moments in this episode are: 00:00:00 - The Importance of Contentment 00:02:31 - Defining Contentment 00:03:47 - Contentment Can't Be Found by Looking for It 00:10:57 - The Role of Gratitude in Contentment 00:13:51 - The Paradox of Finding Contentment 00:14:39 - Persevering to Find Contentment 00:15:42 - The Recipe for Contentment 00:16:41 - Embracing Scars and Wounds 00:18:06 - The Big Questions in Life 00:27:35 - Overcoming Fear and Finding Confidence 00:30:10 - Different Learning Styles and Paths 00:32:16 - Valuing Differences and Building Confidence 00:35:01 - Owning and Integrating Our Stories 00:37:13 - Practicing Presence and Possession 00:43:21 - Contentment Beyond Circumstances 00:44:29 - Cultivating Positivity 00:46:36 - Embracing Action and Forward Movement 00:55:15 - Finding the Source of Discontentment 00:56:02 - Consequences of Ignoring Discontentment 00:57:00 - Embracing Mortality 00:58:15 - Taking Tangible Action 01:00:04 - Cracking the Code to the Contentment Conundrum   I Can Help With Mortality as our motivator, this podcast exists to help you cultivate the mindset and the means to live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. That's my purpose as a coach, too. Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me. Go Here to learn about Graveyard Group masterminds--where we make time each week to invest in your life's most important work.    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 018 | Life's 3 Big Questions: A Conversation with the Coroner Ep. 035 | Build Your Personal Owner's Manual: Understand Yourself Better, Enjoy Yourself More, and Live the Life You were Made to Live Ep. 086 | The Best is Yet to Come: Rediscovering an Ancient Compass for a Life of Purpose and Adventure Today

The road to Growth Camp 2023--an event built around the Hero's Journey--was a Hero's Journey of its own. In this episode, I invite you along on that Journey and share some of the key lessons I learned from it. I hope my story equips and encourages you to embark on your own Hero's Journey or persevere in the one you're already on.   In this episode: Discover the transformative power of the Hero's journey framework to guide your personal growth and overcome obstacles. Learn the art of perseverance and unlock the key to conquering challenges on your path to success. Uncover the importance of companions and allies in your journey, and how their support can propel you forward. Explore the power of letting go and embracing change, and how it can lead to personal growth and new opportunities. Trust in the journey and learn to have faith, even in the face of uncertainty, as you navigate your own heroic path.   Key moments in this episode include: 00:00:00 - Introduction & Overview of the Hero's Journey 00:03:10 - The Importance of the Return Phase 00:04:24 - Reconnecting with an old friend 00:08:14 - My Call to Adventure 00:09:32 - Learning Curve and Allies 00:14:30 - The Journey Begins 00:16:44 - Letting Go 00:18:34 - The Dream Lives On 00:21:12 - Unexpected Help 00:24:50 - Miracles and Encouragement 00:28:29 - Marveling at the Journey 00:29:05 - Practical Lesson: Start Earlier 00:29:33 - Holding on to Dreams 00:30:02 - Lean on Companions and Allies 00:30:52 - The Importance of the Return Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it! Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 086 | The Best is Yet to Come: Rediscovering an Ancient Compass for a Life of Purpose and Adventure Today Ep. 088 | Becoming the Hero in Your Own Story: Overcoming Resistance and Fear on the Journey, with Vince Coleman Ep. 089 | Unleashing Your Potential: Chris Slota's Journey to a Purposeful Life (Reboot)

Do you desire genuine fulfillment and contentment? Are you searching for a way to achieve true satisfaction and inner peace? In this episode, I'll reveal an antidote to discontentment. By embracing the hero's journey, you can unlock the path towards lasting contentment, breaking free from the sabotaging clutches of comfort and convenience. It's simple in principle, but far from easy in reality. Perhaps that's why so many of us avoid it. But don't let that be you. Wide (and easy!) is the way that leads to discontentment, and many find it. Narrow (and hard!) is the way that leads to contentment and becoming someone you genuinely feel good about. Take the narrow way!   In this episode, you will learn how to: Discover the transformative power of embracing the hero's journey to find true fulfillment and purpose in life. Uncover the surprising truth about mistaking comfort for fulfillment and learn how to break free from the cycle to find lasting contentment. Explore the importance of pursuing goals and personal growth, and learn strategies to overcome obstacles and achieve your dreams. Understand how hardships is the way to profound personal transformation, and gain insights on how to navigate challenges with resilience and grace. Embrace living with urgency and learn how to pursue your dreams with passion and determination, creating a life filled with meaning and satisfaction.   Key moments in this episode include: 00:00:01 - The Reasons for Discontentment 00:02:10 - Steve's Decision 00:05:04 - Laura's Triumph 00:07:02 - Base Camp vs. the Summit 00:08:33 - Becoming the Hero of Your Own Story   Your Companion for the Journey This episode draws upon the truths embedded in the Hero's Journey, an ancient pathway for a life of purpose and adventure. To learn more about the Hero's Journey, tune in to Ep. 086, The Best is Yet to Come, where my guest, Jon Ritner, and I introduce you to the Hero's Journey through the lenses of our own stories.  I'm here to help you summon the clarity and courage to embark on the Hero's Journey that's calling to you and stay the course. Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise Ep. 005 | How to Become the Boss of Your Fear: Bravery-building to Live With More Guts and Gusto Ep. 089 | Unleashing Your Potential: Chris Slota's Journey to a Purposeful Life

Have you been told that the key to building a fulfilling and meaningful life is to simply follow the conventional path and do what society expects of you? Here's the hard truth: By blindly following this path, you may be feeling stuck, unfulfilled, and lacking a sense of purpose. It's time to break free from these limiting beliefs and discover your true passions, unlocking the potential for personal growth and transformation. Meet Chris Slota Chris Slota embodies the essence of personal growth and transformation. With a background in the corporate world, Chris found himself at a crossroads, feeling unfulfilled and yearning for something more. Through his journey of self-discovery, he made the courageous decision to explore his true passions and create an even more purposeful life. Chris's story is a testament to the power of answering the question, "What do you want?" and the incredible impact it can have on our overall well-being and fulfillment. Join Andrew Petty and Chris as they delve into the stages of the Hero's Journey and discuss the practical wisdom that Chris gained along the way. Get ready to be inspired by Chris's remarkable personal transformation and learn valuable insights for building a fulfilling and meaningful life. You are in control of your own life. If you want to wallow in sorrow, you are welcome to do so. It's a free country, but you're probably not going to get anywhere if you do it. - Chris Slota In this episode, you will learn how to: Unleash your potential for personal growth and transformation and unlock a life filled with endless possibilities. Take ownership of your life by understanding the importance of taking responsibility for your actions and choices. Embrace change with open arms and shed old ways that no longer serve you, paving the way for personal growth and transformation. Discover some of the keys to fulfillment and meaning in life, leading to a sense of purpose and joy in everything you do. Take Responsibility for Your Own Happiness and Success Taking responsibility for your happiness and success is crucial in the quest for self-improvement. Instead of blaming circumstances or other people, acknowledge and embrace your power to shape your life. Active participation in your life pushes you towards achieving your aspirations, resonating with Chris Slota's story of personal transformation, pursuit of passions, and overall happiness. Next Steps Join Growth Camp 2023 on October 14th to equip yourself with the tools to build a life of even more purpose and Adventure. Explore the Hero's Journey framework for living a good life with a capital G. Learn how to live a life of adventure and make unique contributions in the world. Reflect on the question "What do you want?" and take the time to answer it. Don't just focus on what you don't want, but truly explore your desires and aspirations. Consider the potential consequences of failing to answer this question. Consider joining a Graveyard Group to help navigate personal transformations and find clarity in life. Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who can support and guide you on your journey. Embrace the power of your Mortality and use it as a focal point to envision the life you want to live. Timestamped Summary of this Episode 00:01:09 - The Hero's Journey Andrew discusses the Hero's Journey framework as a template for living a purposeful life and making unique contributions in the world. He mentions that Growth Camp will leverage this framework to help listeners become the hero in their own story. 00:03:14 - Chris Slota's Story Andrew introduces Chris Slota and explains that Chris experienced a remarkable personal transformation by figuring out what he wants in life. He highlights the importance of answering the question, "What do you want?" and how it can lead to purpose and fulfillment. 00:05:17 - Challenging Times Chris describes his dissatisfaction with his corporate banking job, the stress of the global pandemic, and his struggle to figure out what he wanted in life. He shares how he felt detached from relationships and was generally unhappy during this time. 00:08:04 - Transformation Chris talks about his current state where he runs his own business, even though he is financially struggling. He wakes up with a smile on his face because he believes in what he's doing and feels fulfilled. He mentions the gratification of solving puzzles and helping people in a way that aligns with his values. 00:14:12 - Taking Responsibility for Change Chris reflects on the necessary change in his life and taking responsibility for himself. He discusses the positive impact it has had on his relationships and how he now focuses on building others up instead of complaining about things he can't control. 00:15:45 - Positive Influence on Others Chris shares how his attitude shift has positively affected those around him, particularly his wife. He emphasizes the importance of being a positive influence and building others up instead of complaining. 00:16:26 - Relationship Dynamics and Change Andrew discusses how when one partner in a relationship makes changes, it forces the other to deal with it and decide what it means for them. 00:18:07 - Starting a Business in Cryptocurrency Chris explains how his interest in cryptocurrency led him to start a business in the industry. He shares the challenges and uncertainties they faced in building a business that didn't exist before and how they had to figure out pricing and services. 00:22:25 - Growth and Opportunities Chris talks about the growth of their cryptocurrency advisory business and the opportunities that have come from it. He discusses the importance of customer feedback and being able to apply it directly to their business. He also mentions new ventures they're exploring, such as smart contracts and tax credit projects. 00:28:05 - Delayed Gratification and Creating a Better Reality Chris discusses the concept of delayed gratification and making sacrifices today for a better future. They mention Jordan Peterson's teachings on finding meaning and satisfaction in life through responsibility and hard work. Despite the stress, Chris wouldn't trade their current situation for their past, as they are moving towards something important to them. 00:29:11 - Enjoying the Journey and Smelling the Roses Successful business owners advise Chris to enjoy the journey and not just focus on the end goal. Chris reflects on their own experience, appreciating the growth they have achieved and the feedback they receive. They emphasize the importance of stopping to appreciate progress and finding excitement in the daily adventures. 00:30:43 - Loss vs. Gain in the Face of Challenges Andrew asks Chris how they would feel if everything they were working towards fell apart. Chris responds that even in that worst-case scenario, it would still be a gain because the awakening they had was not about the specific business but about recognizing their true desires and values. They learned to challenge traditional expectations and embrace the unknown. 00:32:25 - Moving Forward Without Knowing All the Hows Chris and Andrew discuss the importance of not getting stuck on knowing all the details and how to achieve a goal. Instead, they emphasize the importance of having a clear why and a clear what and starting to take action. Along the way, the actual questions that need to be answered and problems that need to be solved present themselves and are opportunities for growth and learning. Chris shares examples of challenges they faced. 00:41:33 - Metamorphosis and Personal Growth Chris describes his intense period of metamorphosis and personal growth, comparing it to a snake shedding its skin. He emphasizes that personal growth is not a one-time event but a continuous process of change, adaptation, and growth. He also highlights the importance of mindset and tools in enabling personal transformation. 00:42:49 - Recognizing Personal Growth Andrew acknowledges the positive changes he sees in Chris as a result of his personal growth journey. He mentions how others have also noticed Chris's transformation and how this growth is transferable and applicable to every aspect of life. 00:43:58 - Strength and Fortitude Despite not having achieved his desired financial goals yet, Andrew commends Chris for his personal growth and resilience. He believes Chris is now in a stronger position in life compared to two years ago, highlighting the importance of personal development beyond material success. 00:45:01 - Perceived Energy Shift Chris shares how others have noticed a positive change in his energy and demeanor. He believes in the power of energies and vibrations and finds it gratifying that people can perceive his personal growth, even if they are not aware of the specific changes he has undergone. What adventure is calling to you? How has Chris' story encouraged and empowered you to accept the call? What's just one thing, no matter how small, that you are willing and able to do to respond to the call?  Not Sure Where to Start? Start Here! Spots are still available at Growth Camp 2023 | The Best is Yet to Come this Saturday, October 14, at the Steamboat Social Club here in Steamboat Springs, CO, where you'll be equipped and empowered to embark on your own Adventure. To remove as many obstacles as possible to participating, I've overhauled the pricing. Now, you can have the whole one-day experience, valued at almost $700 for only $50. Or, you can name your own price, according to your perception of the event's value and your financial means.  Visit https://andrewpettycoaching.regfox.com/growthcamp2023 for complete details and to register.  Maybe Growth Camp is your first step? If it's calling to you, why not respond to the call? Thank you once again for your time and attention. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show and share it with your friends, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying!   Let's Connect If this episode helped you, I'd love to know. Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Connect with Chris Email | Instagram | Twitter | Website    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts    If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 086 | ​​The Best is Yet to Come: Rediscovering an Ancient Compass for a Life of Purpose and Adventure Today Ep. 088 | Becoming the Hero in Your Own Story: Overcoming Resistance and Fear on the Journey, with Vince Coleman Ep. 019 | The Cockpit is Yours: From Passenger to Pilot Ep. 021 | Sometimes, the Grass IS Greener: How a Familiar Bit of Conventional Wisdom Could be Holding You Back from the Life You Were Made to Live Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise

If you're experiencing overwhelming frustration and disappointment because despite your efforts to find fulfillment in your current career, you still feel empty and unfulfilled, then you are not alone! If you're constantly taking on new projects and responsibilities, hoping they will bring you joy and purpose, only to find yourself in the same state of dissatisfaction, then you are not alone! If you're caught in a cycle of fear and resistance, unable to take the leap into a new adventure that excites you, because the fear of the unknown is paralyzing, then you are not alone! If you're longing for something more, something that aligns with your passions and values, but you're held back by the fear of failure and the opinions of others, then you are not alone! Meet my special guest, Steamboat Local Vince Coleman Meet Vince Coleman, a Steamboat local and a living testament to the transformation that can come from accepting a call to adventure. From the daily grind in restaurant kitchens to the creative world of leatherworking, Vince has turned his passion into a promising career. As both an entrepreneur and small business owner, Vince is known not just for crafting unique leather products at Coleman's Haberdashery, but for his inspiring journey towards finding fulfillment beyond the culinary world. His story is an energizing journey of self-discovery and innovation and an example to us all.   I was just getting burned out, tired, exhausted, frustrated, you know, kind of all of the above. - Vince Coleman    In this episode, you will:  Uncover tactics for mastering fears and resistance when taking the leap into a new adventure. Realize the vital role of exploring oneself and engaging in rewarding hobbies for personal growth. Grasp the remarkable power of having companions and allies as you pursue your next adventure. Witness the transformation brought about by embracing change and following one's passion. Overcoming fears and resistance is a recurring theme in Vince's journey. Undertaking a career transition inherently breeds uncertainty and apprehension, yet Vince was able to navigate these hurdles with encouragement from his supportive network. His story serves as a reminder that while fear and resistance are natural responses to change, they can be overcome with determination, support, and a clear vision.   Become the Hero in Your Own Story Hero's Journeys come in all shapes and sizes--from a major vocational transition like Vince's to summoning the courage to have a hard conversation to leaving the house for the first time in a while. We see them as we look at the whole span of our lifetime, and we can see them in the span of just one day. The pattern is everywhere and at every level of resolution in our lives. What if instead of simply being an observer of that pattern in our lives retrospectively, though, we could voluntarily activate it to live with even more purpose and adventure? That's exactly what Growth Camp 2023: The Best is Yet to Come will equip you to do. On Saturday, October 14, from 9:30am - 8:30pm, join me, Jon Ritner, and your fellow heroes for Growth Camp 2023, a one-day in-person intensive that combines the inspiration of a great Ted Talk with the relational richness of a long lingering meal and tops it off with the insights and action steps acquired from personal coaching. Whatever adventure calls to you, you will become learn how to become the Hero in your own story and be empowered to move forward with guts, gusto, and abandon. Wherever you are on your journey, whatever your age or stage, this is the right time to declare that the best is yet to come! Go Here for details and to register. If this opportunity is tugging at you, do something about it and reserve your spot today. One day really could change your life. Remember, you are going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it! Thank you once again for your time and attention. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show and share it with your friends, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying!   Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction Andrew Petty introduces the podcast episode and the concept of the Hero's Journey, a framework for a life of purpose and adventure.  00:01:24 - The Best is Yet to Come Andrew announces an upcoming event called "The Best is Yet to Come," where participants can gain a deep understanding of the Hero's Journey and find clarity about their own unique adventure. 00:02:38 - Vince's Story Andrew introduces Vince Coleman and discusses his transition from the culinary world to owning his own business. Vince shares the early hints that a new adventure was calling to him. 00:07:34 - Resistance to Change Vince talks about the resistance he faced when transitioning from the culinary industry to starting his own business. He shares the challenges of uncertainty and financial investment, as well as the fear of fully committing to the new adventure. 00:12:14 - Overcoming Uncertainty Vince discusses how he navigated the transition from working in the restaurant industry to fully committing to his leather business. He shares his decision to work part-time at a restaurant while growing his business and funding it from his savings account. 00:14:45 - Embracing Uncertainty and Transition Andrew and Vince discuss the importance of accepting uncertainty in life and embracing the call to adventure. The guest's wife and close friends played a significant role in supporting his transition from the culinary industry to the leather business. Financial considerations also played a major role in his decision to pursue his new career path. 00:17:21 - Making a Viable Business Vince shares how he realized the potential of his leather business when it started making more money than his previous job. This financial success gave him the confidence to fully commit to his new venture and focus on growing it into a sustainable career. 00:20:01 - Challenges and Growth Vince reflects on the challenges he faced during the early years of his leather business, including burnout and exhaustion. He eventually found a balance between aggressive growth and manageable workload, allowing him to prioritize his well-being and personal life. 00:22:58 - Balancing Success and Self-Management Vince discusses the importance of self-management and maintaining a balance between running the business and being consumed by its success. He highlights the ongoing process of reassessing priorities and finding the right work-life balance as the business continues to grow. 00:25:43 - Shaping Life with Intention Vince shares how his adventure into entrepreneurship has changed his outlook on life. He now has the freedom to shape his business and personal life in a way that allows him to pursue his passions and prioritize experiences like travel. 00:29:04 - The Value of Money and Experience Money adds comfort, but life is about experiences and relationships. Money can make things easier but also more challenging. Comfort can lead to complacency and loss of connection with our stories and sense of adventure. 00:30:22 - Embracing the Call to Adventure We are designed to experience life, explore, create, and have adventures. The hero's journey resonates within us because it reflects our true calling. We were made to be pioneers and not settle into comfort and complacency. 00:31:29 - The Impact of Accepting the Call to Adventure Accepting the call to adventure can lead to significant personal and professional changes. Vince's marriage, mindset, and contribution to the world have all been positively transformed because he chose to embrace the unknown. 00:33:35 - Alternative Reality and the Importance of Pursuing Dreams Imagining a life where Vince didn't accept the call to adventure feels depressing and unfulfilling. Pursuing dreams and passions, following desires, and living life with intent are crucial for personal fulfillment and growth. 00:39:12 - Vince's Journey as an Example Vince's entrepreneurial journey serves as a real-life example of the Hero's Journey. It highlights the importance of embracing uncertainty, overcoming challenges, and transforming oneself. Each person's Hero's Journey will look different, but the essence remains the same.   Let's Connect How did this episode help you? I'd love to know. Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Connect with Vince Email | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | Website    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 055 | What Do You Want: A Path to Purpose and Fulfillment, with Chris Slota Ep. 029 | Dragon Slayer: One Man's Tale of Heroic Life Renovation

Today's episode is a reboot from the archive with a few upgrades. I decided to bring this one back after a recent experience as a vendor at the local Farmer's Market. I wasn't your typical vendor–a life coach amidst vegetable stands and woodworkers and handmade soap purveyors. And my offer wasn't typical either: Answer one question to be entered in a raffle for a hundred dollar gift card. The question I posed to visitors to my booth was one that I also posed on this podcast a couple years ago, in episode 16. The conversations and insights that the question generated at the farmer's market were so high-quality that it inspired me to bring it back to the front burner for all of us today. Embrace the urgency of your mortality and unleash your true potential by challenging yourself with one question: If I only had five years to live, what would I start doing differently today?   In this episode: Delve into the transformative impact of using mortality as a compass for living a life you'll be outrageously proud of when you die. Discover the value of imposing an artificial five-year expiration date on your life to clarify what matters most and make big changes. Reflect upon what you would change if granted a limited time. Begin steering your own course with purpose and courage, transforming discomfort into a catalyst for growth and adventure. The power of a five-year timeline comes from the clarity it provides in defining what's truly important in our lives. Imagining life with an explicit deadline compels us to take more risks, make bolder decisions, and pursue our desires and ambitions. A five-year timeline challenges the complacency of postponing dreams and aspirations. With five years to live, you can't just have an extended farewell tour! You still have to put food on the table and keep a roof over your head. How will you live? How will you use the time? Tune in to the full (short!) episode for the whole story.   More Provisions for the Journey If you have the guts to begin asking yourself this question and acting on your answers, you'll be in for an exhilarating ride. AND, you'll invite some other tough customers into your life in a new way--like fear, doubt, and new kinds of discomfort. As I said at the beginning, this simple question can revolutionize your life...and it's far from easy to follow through on your answers. A few other episodes of Andrew Petty is Dying provide tools for mastering fear, doubt, and discomfort:  If fear is getting the best of you, listen to Ep. 005, How to Become the Boss of Your Fear: Bravery-building to Live With More Guts and Gusto.  If you're tempted to feel like you don't have much to offer, listen to Ep. 003, How to Turn Your Imperfections Into Superpowers: The Key to Unlocking Your Unique Purpose  If life's stiff winds are threatening to sink your ship, listen to Ep. 012, How to Harness the Winds of Discomfort to Get Where You Want to Go: Becoming a Seasoned Sailor on the Seas of Life I'm rooting for you, and I believe you have what it takes.  Remember, you are going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   Seize the Moment: Tomorrow Never Comes If something within you is awakening to the challenge posed by the 5-year question, then seize the moment. As Jon Ritner mentioned in the previous episode, exercise the 10-second rule and resolve to do something about it now. The first step could be as easy as connecting with me to schedule a free coaching session. Visit andrewpettycoach.com to do that today.  Also, summon the courage to participate in the one-day Andrew Petty Coaching event coming up on October 14, here in Steamboat Springs. Jon Ritner and I will host an immersive experience called The Best is Yet to Come: Rediscovering an Ancient Compass for a Life of Purpose and Adventure Today. You will emerge from that experience equipped to deploy the Hero's Journey framework that Jon and I discussed in episode 86 to slay the dragons of fear, boredom, stuckness, and lack of purpose by accepting the call to adventure and becoming the hero in your own story. If you haven't listened to episode 86 yet, cue it up now, and stay tuned for more details about how to secure your spot at The Best is Yet to Come on October 14.  Thank you once again for your time and attention. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show and share it with your friends, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying!   Let's Connect If this episode helped you, I'd love to know. Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher

“Not only did this hero's journey resonate with a desire we all have, it felt like it told the story of the life I was actually living. And I think I realized that it wasn't a one-time adventure–that it had the potential to be a pattern or a framework that I could lean into and try to follow over and over again in order to find more meaning, more purpose, and more transformation in my life. In many ways it was what I was missing back in Virginia. I realized it was offering me a pathway, almost like guideposts on the journey that could deliver the things I wanted more of in life, which were meaning and purpose and significance.”  -Jon Ritner   Boredem, confusion, aimlessness, lack of purpose, lack of fulfillment, and a host of other emotional and psychological woes. These are some of the problems that, though they're not entirely new to humanity, seem especially rampant in the affluent Western world today. You might even be able to relate to one or two of them yourself.  When the modern age doesn't offer many useful remedies to these ills, where else can we look? It's time to return to the "old roads," to quote a line from an Andrew Peterson song. It's time to return to wisdom that has been generated over generations and stood the test of time. It's this wisdom that my long-time friend and colleague, Jon Ritner, and I unpack together in this episode through the lenses of our own stories.  It's the wisdom contained in The Hero's Journey, a compass for living derived, surprisingly enough, from humankind's core mythologies.  In this episode, you'll get a crash course in the Hero's Journey and an introduction to how to begin using it in your own life right now to vanquish the dragons of boredom, confusion, aimlessness, lack of purpose, lack of fulfillment, and the laundry list of other besetting woes. As you vanquish those dragons, you'll discover the treasure behind them that you were uniquely meant to find and share with the world. If you're willing, you're in for the adventure of your life.  This episode is also an appetizer for the main course that Jon and I will serve up this October at a special one-day event designed to fully equip you to use the Hero's Journey in your own life.    Introducing Jon Ritner Jon Ritner and I met in college in the early 90s. We were acquaintances then but became close friends in the years immediately following college, when we were roommates, each of us trying to find ourselves and find our way. We ended up on the same church staff together, a chapter in our stories full of highs and lows and lessons hard-won. We've seen each other at our best, and we've seen each other at our worst. Eventually, our paths diverged, and that's the point at which we pick up Jon's story today.  Jon has served as a pastor for 20 years in various capacities in the US and overseas. Today, he's the Chief Strategy Officer for Communitas International, a global non-profit. He also coaches leaders who are starting and shaping communities to live like Jesus, and the author of Positively Irritating, a philosophical and practical guide for faith leaders navigating the changing cultural realities in the western world. Jon and Kristyn, his wife of 22 years, live in Burbank, CA with their teenage son and daughter.    Highlights from This Conversation What The Hero's Journey is and why it matters in our real-world lives today How The Hero's Journey framework helped Jon make more sense of his life so far, and how it can do the same for you How The Hero's Journey helps Jon live a life of more purpose, meaning, and adventure today, and how it can do the same for you The distinguishing qualities of a Hero, and how to be one Why and how adventure is an antidote to so many of today's besetting woes, like boredom, aimlessness, confusion, and lack of purpose And more. Tune into the full episode for the rest of the good stuff.     SAVE THE DATE: Special Andrew Petty Coaching Event, Saturday October 14, at the Steamboat Social Club (brunch and dinner provided) I'm excited to announce a special Andrew Petty Coaching event–a one-day intensive that combines the inspiration of a great Ted Talk with the relational richness of a long lingering meal and tops it off with the insights and action steps you acquire from personal coaching. The event is called The Best is Yet to Come: Rediscovering an Ancient Compass for Living a Life of Purpose and Adventure. If today's episode has sparked something inside of you, then The Best is Yet to Come is just the thing to propel you forward on your next great adventure. This episode introduced you to The Hero's Journey, but The Best is Yet to Come will go deeper. We'll identify the reasons we so often fluctuate between listlessness and boredom in one season of life and then overwhelming stress and anxiety in the next. We'ill give you language to describe the call on your life as well as license to accept that call with courage and support. We'll help you move from victim to Hero in your own story and empower you to live a life you'll be outrageously proud of when you die. Whether you are just setting out on your journey or are stuck in a rut, this is the right time to declare that the best is yet to come! Keep your eyes peeled for registration details. Still figuring all that out...ha! In the meantime, how can I help you become who you were made to be and live the life you were made to live? Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.  Thank you once again for your time and attention. Don't forget to follow this show and share it with your friends, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying!   Connect with Jon Email | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | Website    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 005 | How to Become the Boss of Your Fear: Bravery-building to Live With More Guts and Gusto Ep. 012 | How to Harness the Winds of Discomfort to Get Where You Want to Go: Becoming a Seasoned Sailor on the Seas of Life Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise Ep. 025 | The Contentment Conundrum: Cracking the Code   Resources Mentioned in This Episode The Hero With a Thousand Faces (Joseph Campbell) The Writer's Journey (Christopher Vogler)

It's great to be back with you after a six-week break from the show! What better way to kick things off than for my wise and wonderful wife, Charis, to join me again for this second installment in a 2-part series about how assessments can transform your life, work, and relationships.   In the previous episode, through the lens of our own stories, Charis and I explored the transformational potential available to us through the Myers-Briggs Type Inventory, an assessment that helps us understand our natural personality style better.  In this episode, again through the lens of our own stories, we're going to explore the transformational potential available to us through the Highlands Ability Battery, an instrument that helps us understand the abilities we were born with. The Highlands Ability Battery is particularly useful for understanding the kind of work we were made to do in the world.  Taken together, Myers-Briggs and the Highlands Ability Battery provide invaluable insight into the kind of human we are--our Nature. In turn, that insight can equip us to become the person we were made to be and live the life we were made to live.  Any of These Sound Familiar? If you find yourself stuck in any area of life...If you're finding that what got you here isn't getting you where you want to go...If you have persistent points of irritation or conflict at home or at work...If you have a big dream to tackle but just can't seem to get moving...If you simply want to be all that you can be...Then this episode is for you.  You don't have to listen to the previous episode in order for this one to make sense. Both episodes can stand alone. But I do encourage you to tune into both for the full benefit.  As I said in the previous episode, much of who we are and why we do what we do as humans in this world remains a mystery. But some things don't need to remain a mystery. We hope our story inspires you to pursue fresh insight into the kind of human you are and start taking action on it today.   Highlights from This Conversation How the Highlands Ability Battery (HAB) dispelled old but deeply-held limiting beliefs about Charis, improved her perception of herself, and how it can do the same for you.  How HAB gave Charis new insights, tools, and self-permission that dramatically improved her ability to advance professionally, and how it can do the same for you.  How HAB infused Charis with more confidence about her own abilities and her professional path, and how it can do the same for you. How the insights gained from HAB continue to help Charis on a day-to-day basis in her daily life and work, and how it can do the same for you. How HAB revised my (Andrew's) perception of myself and the first 14 years of my professional life.  How HAB has helped me (Andrew) write a new chapter personally and professionally that aligns better than ever before with the kind of human I am, and how it can do the same for you.  How HAB helped me be more available for my wife and kids and finally begin enjoying rather than just needing vacations! And more…   Making It Matter in Your Life I've said this often at the end of an episode, but it remains the million-dollar question: If you tuned in to this episode, what's sticking with you? And here's the 2 Million Dollar question: What's one thing you're willing and able to do today with the insight you've gained? Insight + Action = Transformation. Don't waste a perfectly good insight by neglecting to do something with it. Put it to work and transform your life.  Remember, you ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   I Can Help! It would be a pleasure to help you become who you were made to be and live the life you were made to live. Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.  Thank you once again for your time and attention. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show and share it with your friends, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying!   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 084 | From Irritation to Appreciation: How Assessments Can Transform Your Life and Relationships Ep. 035 | Build Your Personal Owner's Manual: Understand Yourself Better, Enjoy Yourself More, and Live the Life You were Made to Live

What's a recurring point of irritation in your most important relationship? Where do you consistently feel frustrated at work? What annoys you about your default way of operating in the world?  Without a doubt, your personality and the normal and natural differences between yours and other people's personalities are involved in those situations. This is good news, because you can do something about it. Deepening your understanding of your innate personality style and making real-world changes as a result of what you learn empowers you to deploy yourself in life even more enjoyably, meaningfully, and productively.   In this episode, the first in a two-part series, my wife Charis returns to the show to help me unpack some of the many ways in which acquiring and acting upon personality insights has dramatically improved our lives individually and as a couple. Much of who we are and why we do what we do as humans in this world remains a mystery. But some things don't need to remain a mystery. Our innate personality style is one of those things. We hope our story inspires you to pursue fresh insight into your personality style and start taking action on it today. This episode focuses on the many benefits available from the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator, specifically. See You in August…Lord Willin' and the Creek Don't Rise! I'm taking a break from the show in July, so this is the last episode until August. Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I'm looking forward to a great second half of the year, with more enlightening conversations--including part 2 of this two-part series with Charis. That episode will explore the game-changing power of gaining deeper insight into your natural abilities, the abilities you were born with. Together with insights about your personality gained from MBTI, insights into your natural abilities form a really solid baseline understanding of your Nature--the kind of human you are.  The second half of the year will include more short solo episodes, too, all geared toward equipping you with the practical means by which to deploy the Mortality Mindset in your life with transformational results.  Thank you for your time, attention, and trust. Those are precious commodities, and I don't take them for granted.  I hope you and yours have a wonderful July. In the meantime, as always, you can find me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn @AndrewPettyCoach, at andrewpettycoach.com, or email me at andrew@andrewpettycoach.com.  I've said it once already in this episode, but it's worth repeating: Remember, you ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!    How Can I Help? Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.  Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 021 | Sometimes, the Grass IS Greener: How a Familiar Bit of Conventional Wisdom Could be Holding You Back from the Life You Were Made to Live Ep. 025 | The Contentment Conundrum: Cracking the Code

We all have a lot of competing demands and priorities, obligations and opportunities--plenty of day-to-day things to tend to that have clear relevance. In the midst of all that, why would we set aside time specifically for cultivating deeper connections with fellow humans? What's the point of "connection" with others? On the one hand, a better question might be "why don't we set aside that time" because perhaps its value is obvious on some level. But the fact of the matter is that many of us still suffer from a profound lack of meaningful human connection--especially in this global age. So though we may give it lip service, most of us don't walk the talk.  Martie McNabb is a personal historian/visual artist who creates visual narratives from client's photo, document & memorabilia archives. She's also an interactive story-sharing heartist who helps people create connections by giving them a way to share the stories of the things they keep. That's what her company, Thing Tide Show & Tale, and her Show and Tale events are all about. Helping people connect has been part of her Martie's mission from the beginning. In this episode, you'll learn how the things that we keep contain stories waiting to be told, how telling those stories connects us to our own Story and to our fellow humans more meaningfully, and why all of that matters for you and me.    Write a Great Story With Your Life in The Graveyard Group In the Graveyard Group, write your best life Story with the support of your very own confidential board of advisors. Harness the power of the Mortality Mindset and human connection to break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon.  New groups for men and women are forming now. andrewpettycoach.com to schedule a free one-hour coaching session with me, find me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn @AndrewPettyCoach, or email me at andrew@andrewpettycoach.com.   Connect with Martie Email | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | Website | YouTube | Podcast   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 074 | From Pain to Purpose: Finding What Matters, with Alison Zimmerman Ep. 076 | Legacy: What It Is and Why It Matters, with Maggie Gannon  

The previous episode laid out a simple way to change the world–one to which each of us can contribute. It's not easy, but thankfully it is simple.  This episode lays out a way to overcome one of the key obstacles we often encounter on the way to changing the world–namely, our own poorly-established and unstable identity. It's another timely reboot in an age that can sometimes feel incurably chaotic.    One Pond, Two Fish: Meet John John was born in 1952 in a small town in Michigan. His mom managed the homefront, his dad was an accountant, and he had two younger sisters. In keeping with the prevailing sentiment of the day, his mom and dad favored stability, predictability, and peace above all else since WWII was still painfully if not distantly visible in the rearview mirror. And John's dad was a combat veteran. Gratitude for the simplicity of small-town American life was a staple of John's family's ethic, and dreams of bigger and better things weren't exactly frowned upon, but they weren't encouraged either.  John went to school with the same 60 or so kids from K-12, watched the same regular TV programming as everyone else, and was glad to get a job at a local print shop when he graduated from high school. He liked art and design, and this seemed like a reasonable way to get a bit of that in his work while at the same time taking his place among the ranks of the responsible and productive.  John eventually bought the print shop after 20 years at the company and the establishment of his own family, and though each decade brought with it its own set of challenges in the world at large, John had a sense of who he was and what he did in the world. He was John, the son of Tom and Sally, from a small town in Michigan. He was a husband, father, business owner, and engaged member of his community. He was aware of the wider world and interested in its affairs, but he didn't spend much time concerning himself about things that didn't affect his immediate day-to-day or threaten to do so.  On the whole, John was content to be a decent-sized fish in a small pond in the middle of Michigan.    One Pond, Two Fish: Meet Alex Alex was born in 1995 in the same small Michigan town as John. The town was bigger when Alex was born, but not significantly so. It had simply grown the way that towns can when there aren't specific causes for decline but neither are there particular reasons for a boom. His mom was an IT manager who worked from home and his dad was a VP with a national healthcare provider. Alex was an only child.  Alex changed schools 4 times and moved to different neighborhoods twice in his K-12 years--the result of his parents' concerns about the quality of the education he was receiving and proximity to the airport for his dad's business trips. So, Alex had several different groups of friends over the years but became increasingly less social as the years wore on--fatigue from the social turnover taking its toll. By the time he was a sophomore in high school, smart phones and the proliferation of social media made it easier to interact from a distance and meet people outside of his hometown that he found more interesting. He was aware of the vastness of the world and the almost infinite options awaiting him. There was so...much...more out there than this little town had to offer.  By the time his senior year rolled around, Alex was counting down the milliseconds until graduation--when he was free to leave the stifling smallness of his hometown and explore new horizons. Maybe he'd visit his buddy Alex in Oregon, whose dad grew marijuana for medical use, or his online crush Lisa in Miami. His gaming buddy, Yoshi, had invited him to visit him in Tokyo. That would be amazing. The possibilities were endless.  Fast forward to the present day, and Alex's still a relatively young man at 26, but he's beginning to feel some internal pressure to figure some things out. He's lived in 4 different cities since high school graduation--all thankfully much different and in his opinion way more interesting than his hometown. But eventually, each city got a little old, or he had a hard time connecting with new people there, or the tech job he'd landed went away because of down-sizing or right-sizing or an acquisition. He's feeling a bit adrift. He's spending more and more time on social media--fantasizing about achieving the stardom and notoriety of a Gary V. or a Joe Rogan and peering into the lives of hundreds of people he doesn't know but whose lives look more interesting than his. This isn't helping. It creates a chronic sense of he's here and “they” are way over there--living in a magical land of financial ease and personal certainty. The gap seems to be widening with every passing day.  Plus, it appears to him that the world is beginning to crumble around him. Racial unrest, global pandemics, dishonest politicians, and environmental armageddon are just a few of the big things that threaten to do the world in any day now. At least, that's what he's hearing in the media. And can the media be trusted? If not they, then how does he get reliable info about the state of things? He feels like he ought to do something about at least one of these things. But which one? And what can he possibly do as just one guy? He feels increasingly like he's being swept along by a tidal wave of horrible inevitability that he's powerless against.  Alex is a small fish in a global fish pond. It's terrifying, and it's paralyzing.    The Global Fish Pond Crisis Hopefully, the juxtaposition of the portraits of these men from the same town but with very different experiences of the world illustrates the theory I want to share with you. Here's the theory, simply stated to make the implicit explicit: I think that most if not all of us are suffering at the hands of what I'm calling the Global Fish Pond Crisis. We're susceptible to some version of Alex's experience in the world. I actually think it's a big reason that people like me have a job doing what we do. People feel adrift in a global fish pond and need help making sense of their place in it.  Here's what I think is happening: When the whole world is at our fingertips 24/7 and the old ways of forming an identity aren't adequate anymore, then it's completely up to us to catalyze our identity--a term I first heard from Jordan Peterson--and stabilize it in the midst of a global pond churning with other fish trying to do the same thing. In John's case, geography and associated cultural norms provided reliable, local boundaries to his fish pond and formed a foundation for his identity. He was one fish among 20,000, not one among 7 Billion as we may feel ourselves to be today.  But perhaps the biggest problem with the Global Fish Pond Crisis is that we're not aware that it exists. We're tempted instead to think that we're just not cutting it. We may be aware of various degrees of psychological pain and suffering caused by it--like in Alex's case--but we're misattributing it to our own laziness or incompetency or lack of worth. This is a case in which I think many of us are truly being victimized. And that's why I bring it up. Because if this Global Fish Pond Crisis is actually a thing, then exposing it and its insidious effects on us means we can stop being victimized by it and start doing something about it.  We can go from unwitting victim to victor and find our place in the vast global pond in which we now swim. In an age where few of us are born into small local ponds anymore, we have the opportunity to appropriately claim a small part of the global pond for our own--a part of the pond small enough to actually make a difference.    How to Rescue Ourselves from the Global Fish Pond Crisis I think the way forward lies in each of us doing our best to assume even more complete responsibility for ourselves. To concern ourselves with those things that we can influence, to get our own houses in order, so to speak, and operate as productively as we know how right now, right where we are, with what we have. Staying zoomed out to the global view too much of the time leads to overwhelm and, frankly, I think it's a cop-out because we then blame the global situation for why we've failed to sort ourselves out. Because what can one person do when the world is burning down around us? That's victim stuff right there, and we're all susceptible to it in one way or another.   Zoom out every once in a while, sure--but zoom right back to your own here and now, and determine to do what you can right where you are. And I don't mean do what you can to fix the world. I mean do what you can to become the person you were made to be and live the life you were made to live. I think that when we do that, we actually fulfill the many desperate needs in the world better and more quickly, anyway.    Are You Struggling to Find Your Place in A Global Fish Pond? If this idea is scratching an itch for you--if you resonate with the idea of feeling like a tiny fish in a global pond--then resolve to do something about it in your own life right now. These four episodes of Andrew Petty is Dying will be especially useful as you take next steps to rescue yourself from the Global Fish Pond Crisis:  Ep. 019 | The Cockpit is Yours: From Passenger to Pilot Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise Ep. 025 | The Contentment Conundrum: Cracking the Code Ep. 035 | Build Your Personal Owner's Manual: Understand Yourself Better, Enjoy Yourself More, and Live the Life You were Made to Live Remember, you are going to die. But you aren't dead yet. So get after it!   I Can Help You I can help you escape the grip of the Global Fish Pond Crisis. I can help you establish and stabilize your identity so you can become the person you were made to be, live the life you were made to live, and do your part to change the world.   Visit my website to schedule a free first session.   I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 019 | The Cockpit is Yours: From Passenger to Pilot Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise Ep. 025 | The Contentment Conundrum: Cracking the Code Ep. 035 | Build Your Personal Owner's Manual: Understand Yourself Better, Enjoy Yourself More, and Live the Life You were Made to Live

Today's episode is a timely reboot from the archives. It's a reminder we can all benefit from and something we tend to lose sight of all too easily. It's an antidote to apathy and despair in an age of doom and gloom.   Doom and Gloom Abounds If environmental armageddon doesn't get us first, then a hostile nation's plans for global domination will. Maybe the Republicans will sink the ship and all hands will be lost. Or maybe it'll be the Democrats doing. What about AI--the potential for hyper-intelligent machines to take over the world and eradicate or enslave humanity? You thought COVID was tough? Just wait until the next super virus is unleashed by nameless, faceless, malevolent forces plotting our demise even as we speak.  Take your pick. There are no shortage of dire, doom and gloom scenarios to choose from these days. And the media and the internet serve up heaping quantities of it onto our psychological plates if we get in line for the 24/7 buffet.  I'm NOT saying, BTW, that there aren't genuine reasons to be concerned about the state of the world. There are--and, there always have been. In the modern digital age, though, it's possible to be aware of most of the challenges facing the world--or, at least, the existing portrayals of those challenges--and to be aware of them most of the time. That's infinitely more knowledge and awareness than any one of us can hold well in our hearts and minds or possibly act upon. And if we're not careful, it can lead us to despair, despondency, and inaction.  Where does that leave us, then? What CAN we do?  Good questions.  How do we change the world?   It's Simple, Actually I'm not going to bury the lead here. Let's get right to the point.  To change the world, simply be the best “you” that you can possibly be.  Profoundly simple. And FAR from easy. If it was easy, more of us would embrace it and live it out.  It's also far from a new idea. “Be the change you want to see in the world” is a statement derived from ideas that Gandhi put forth. As is “if you want to change the world, go home and love your family”--that one derived from Mother Teresa's way of thinking. Today, in his book 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos, Jordan Peterson sounds a similar note when he exhorts us all to “get our own house in perfect order” before we criticize the world or, by extrapolation, try to change the whole world.  It's not a new idea, but it seems to be one that needs to be revived in our hearts and minds these days. We forget. And we get swept up in the myriad of massive global concerns and take our eye off the ball right in front of us--the only ball that is really ours to carry. The ball of our One and Only Life, our unique path, and the purposes we alone can accomplish along that path.  We need to return to this simple idea and double-down on it in our own lives. As Natalie Niksa said in the previous episode, “we've lost our way because of all the shiny objects.” And in returning to this priority, we'll revitalize our personal power, passion, and purpose and reduce our sense of paralysis and powerlessness in the face of all of the world's woes. Then, we can really get to work, right where we are, with what we have.     Breaking It Down  But what does it mean to “be the best you that you can possibly be,” and how does that actually change the world?  It means taking radical responsibility for yourself. It means working your ass off to discover and express your unique self as fully as you can and bring your unique gifts into the world. It means dreaming the dreams that exist only within your heart and doing your damndest to fulfill them. It means doing the work to become the person you were made to be and live the life you were made to live. It means working your ass off to be the best spouse, partner, parent, neighbor, and employee, employer, or entrepreneur that you can be. It means dragging yourself over the finish line of your life utterly depleted AND utterly satisfied because you left it all out on the field.  For some, those efforts will yield global recognition and impact. For others of us, our efforts will only ever be known among those closest to us. Guess what? The scope and scale of our impact is irrelevant and, frankly, none of our business. It's not even knowable, in fact. We have no way of knowing how much of a difference our life will make--now, and in the years and generations to come. Our lives ripple into eternity, just like those before us ripple into ours.    Keep It Positive Make no mistake, though: There's no such thing as a neutral or no-impact life.  We don't get to control IF our life will make an impact or know how much of an impact we ultimately make, but we do get to influence what KIND of impact we'll make. Will it be negative because we shrank back, didn't take full responsibility for our One and Only life, and failed to show up--and our absence was a loss for those who needed us to show up? Or will it be positive--not because we showed up perfectly all the time, but rather because we did our very best to simply show up, to bring the best of ourselves to this fleeting life, day in and day out?  Carl Jung said that the greatest burden a child can take into adulthood is the unlived life of their parent.  In a slightly sillier context but with no less relevance, in the Lego movie Ninjago, Lloyd the good ninja tells his dad, the movie's arch villain, that he ruined his life. To which his dad, Lord Garmadon, replies, scoffingly, “How could I ruin your life? I wasn't even there.”    But How Does It Change the World?  If all of that at least makes a dent in understanding HOW to “be the best you that you can possibly be,” then that leaves the question of how it actually changes the world.  When we take responsibility for being the best versions of ourselves that we can possibly be, then we change ourselves. When we change ourselves, we change our world--the little part of the world that we call our own. Our family life changes, our work life changes, our community life changes. Then, as our world changes, by definition the world changes as the ripples move outward from us at the epicenter.  Change your life...change your world...change the world. That, my friends, is how we change the world.    Buckle Up, Buttercup The good news is that it's so simple. Our primary focus becomes simply evolving ourselves. As I said at the beginning, though, it's far from easy. There's no journey more challenging. But there's also no journey more completely satisfying and worthwhile. And if you're looking for more purpose and meaning, this journey will fill that cup to overflowing.  So buckle up, buttercup, and get to work becoming the best you that you can possibly be.  And remember, you are going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   Change the World in The Graveyard Group The Graveyard Group was created precisely for the purpose of helping you become the very best you that you can be. It combines the unsurpassed motivational horsepower of the Mortality Mindset with the force multiplying influence of your very own confidential board of advisors. Break free from the status quo, become who you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live.  New groups for men and women are forming now, and both in-person and virtual options are available.  Visit my website to learn more and schedule a free 1-1 coaching session to determine if The Graveyard Group is right for you.  BTW, this episode pairs well with episode 036, The Global Fish Pond Crisis, because it offers a solution to the Global Fish Pond Crisis. And no, episode 036 is not about a literal fish pond crisis; it's about the formidable challenges of constructing solid identities for ourselves in this modern, globalized age. If you haven't checked it out, and this one was meaningful to you, then I encourage you to do so.  I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Recommend These, Too Ep. 014 | Dare to Dream Again: The Antidote to a Mediocre Life Ep. 016 | The Question That Changes Everything: The Go-to Tool for Living the Life You Were Made to Live Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise Ep. 025 | The Contentment Conundrum: Cracking the Code Ep. 029 | Dragon Slayer: One Man's Tale of Heroic Life Renovation Ep. 035 | Build Your Personal Owner's Manual: Understand Yourself Better, Enjoy Yourself More, and Live the Life You were Made to Live

What does our energy have to do with finding our unique Path in life? A lot, as it turns out. Stay tuned to learn how to put it to work for you.     Energy for the Win It was 2015, and I was a couple years into a major personal and professional evolution–much of which I share about in greater detail in the earliest episodes of this show. Part of that evolution had included a move to CO. Now, after a self-administered period of sabbatical, it was time to begin getting clearer on what the next chapter would be for me professionally. Though I didn't have the language for it back then, through a long process of self-discovery supported by family, friends, colleagues, my first partnership with a coach, and insights gained through assessments and reflection, I had already created something very similar to my very own Personal Owner's Manual. To learn how to create yours, tune into episode 035, Build Your Personal Owner's Manual: Understand Yourself Better, Enjoy Yourself More, and Live the Life You were Made to Live.  As a result of all that work, I was beginning to lean toward coaching as the next step along my professional path. I wasn't yet committed to it, though. Until, that is, I began to recall when I felt more and less energized in my previous professional chapter. Hands-down, I realized, I felt more energized when I was having meaningful conversations in 1-1 and small group settings about how to move forward. Those conversations left me on a high and helped those involved. Conversely, I felt much less energized when I returned to most of the other parts of my job.  What kind of work would involve a lot more of those kinds of conversations, I wondered, and a lot less of all the other stuff? In light of the new clarity that reflecting on my energy had provided, in conjunction with the accumulated insights from all of my previous self-discovery, the field of coaching, broadly speaking, became the obvious next step on my professional path. So I summoned the courage to put my Insight into Action, and began to move forward on that path. After 7+ years of coaching, I can confidently say that my energy didn't let me down. It was a reliable guide then, and it continues to guide me well today. Your energy can do the same for you.    The Energy Gauge Imagine with me for a moment a dashboard. This isn't any old dashboard, though. It's your personal dashboard. Its gauges and indicator lights are specific to you, and from it you gain important information about how well you're functioning. Your fuel gauge tells you when it's time to rest, recover, and recharge. Your emotions gauge informs you about how you're responding to internal and external stimuli and where attention is needed. You get the idea. It's your dashboard, and you can customize it any way you'd like. I recommend making sure that one gauge is present and prominent on your dashboard, however–your Energy Gauge.  When we pay attention to our energy, we get rich real-world feedback about what we were made to do and what we weren't made to do. Watch when your energy gauge goes up and when it goes down. In both cases, take note of the specific conditions that are causing it to go up or down. Then, take action to engineer the circumstances of your life to allow you to do more of what energizes you and less of what doesn't.  The magic of the energy gauge lies at least in large part in the fact that when our energy goes up, we can be confident that our innate personality, abilities, gifts, and talents, our life experiences, our interests, and our values are all being put to use in some significant way. When our energy goes down, we can be confident that those things are less present.  In other words, when we pay attention to our energy gauge, we get all that and a bag of chips.  Whether you need a tweak, a major adjustment, or feel like you have no clue at all what your path in life is, your energy gauge will serve you well. It's simple, reliable, actionable, and powerful. It demystifies what can feel like a daunting and hopelessly complex pursuit, i.e. finding your path in life.  Anyone can use it, and you can begin using it right now. The keys to unlocking its potential are the Courage and Humility to act upon what you discover.  Tune in to episodes 077 and 078 to learn more about Courage, Humility, and the rest of the Big 6 essential ingredients in the recipe for a life you'll be outrageously proud of when you die.    Check Your Personal Energy Gauge What is your energy gauge telling you? What's one thing you're willing and able to change today to act on what it's telling you and get even clearer on your unique path in life?  Remember, you are going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it.    Dedicated Support for the Road Ahead It's one thing to pay attention to your energy gauge. It's another thing entirely to act on what it's telling you and stay the course. That's where a 1-1 coaching partnership with me can make all the difference. I'll help you break free from the grip of the Status Quo so that you can become who you were made to be and live the life you were made to live.  To learn more, visit my website to schedule a free session, find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, or email me.  I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise Ep. 062 | What Do You Do?: A Tool for Understanding Yourself Better and Finding Your Unique Path in Life

What's on the other side of Death?  Danielle Slupesky came face-to-face with her own Mortality through a harrowing and prolonged medical crisis. She barely lived to tell the tale. In the midst of that crisis, she had a near-death experience that completely changed the trajectory of her life and her relationship with Death. Danielle is an End-of-Life Coach and a Death Doula based out of Albuquerque, NM. In this episode, she gives us a detailed first-hand account of her near-death experience and how it changed her.  Frankly, it's difficult to know where to file or categorize Danielle's experience. On the one hand, it would be reassuring if it fit neatly into my existing worldview or further supported it. But it doesn't do that, so for now it gets filed under "Unsolved Mysteries."  It's clear, though, that what remains a mystery to me has radically transformed Danielle. Its impact cannot be ignored. For that reason alone, her story is worth paying attention to. But there's more to Danielle's story that deserves our attention, including the importance of surrender, the perils of unconscious living, and how our bodies whisper messages that we need to hear and heed.  This conversation enlightened, challenged, and encouraged me. I hope it does the same for you.    Some Highlights From This Conversation Danielle “before and after” her encounter with Mortality and near-death experience The perils of “unconscious” living and how to live more consciously How to hear what our body is whispering to us about our mental and emotional wellbeing Danielle shares a detailed account of her near-death experience and how it changed her What Danielle considers most important today, after her encounter with mortality and near-death experience How an End-of-Life Coach can help you live more consciously today The role of the Death Doula in the 21st Century Tune in to the full episode for more…   The Graveyard Group: End-of-Life Coaching, Mastermind-style The Graveyard Group is like end-of-life coaching with the support of your very own confidential board of advisors. Harness the power of the Mortality Mindset to break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. As Danielle pointed out, when we bring our Mortality to the forefront of our awareness and begin planning for a conscious death, we automatically begin to lead more conscious lives.  New groups for men and women are forming now. To learn more, visit my website to schedule a free 1-1 coaching session with me, find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, or email me.    Let's Connect I can help you uncover what you really want and go after it with guts, gusto, and abandon. Schedule a free session to see if a 1-1 coaching partnership with me is a good choice for you. Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Connect with Danielle Email | LinkedIn | Website    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 011 | Embracing Mystery, When to Call It a Day, and What Matters Most: Lessons from an Astonishing Life-After-Death Story Ep. 063 | Suffering, Surrender, and the Leap of Faith: How to Find Freedom on the Other Side of Letting Go, with Carrie Chown

What does it take to live a life you'll be outrageously proud of when you die?  That's really the question at the heart of this podcast, and this episode is part two of a two-part series aimed at providing a trustworthy answer to that question. Through my own life experience, conversations with guests on this show, 1-1 coaching partnerships, and The Graveyard Group, I've identified six essential ingredients in the recipe for a life we'll be outrageously proud of when we die. I call them the Big 6. Other ingredients are important and useful, for sure, but none appear to me to be as important as these six. Without them, the recipe simply doesn't work.   In the previous episode, I introduced you to the first three of the Big 6, Courage, Humility, and Truth-telling. In this episode, I'll introduce you to the second three, Self-permission, Self-responsibility, and Self-knowledge.  There is a logic to the order of the ingredients in this recipe. They build on one another, and each one depends upon the others that precede it. If you haven't listened to the previous episode yet and you have an additional 8 minutes to spare right now, I recommend tuning in to that episode first before listening to this one.    The Fourth Ingredient: Self-Permission The fourth essential ingredient in the recipe for a life you'll be outrageously proud of is Self-permission. Self-permission is ownership of the reality that I can do what I want, when I want, how I want, where I want, with whom I want. It is a permission granted to us simply by virtue of our arrival at chronological adulthood, but many chronological adults remain emotional and psychological juveniles because they fail to fully grant themselves this permission. Instead, their thoughts and actions remain heavily and unduly influenced by others, by worn-out worldviews inherited from their family of origin, and by a myriad of other external sources of permission. They remain dependent upon external sources of permission to determine what they think and how they conduct themselves in the world.  Self-permission can be used for good or evil, and everything in between. It isn't a license to run amok. Nor does it mean tuning out the input of others; it is wise to seek and learn from the counsel and examples of others. Rather, the proper expression of Self-permission simply frees us from dependence upon external sources of permission in order to think and act.  Let me say that again: The proper expression of Self-permission simply frees us from dependence upon external sources of permission in order to think and act. It also puts the consequences of our thoughts and actions squarely at our feet, a topic we'll delve into next when we discuss Self-responsibility. Failure to take full ownership of Self-permission relegates us to living at least in part according to the will and permissions of others. This limits our ability to become the person we were uniquely made to be and live the life we were uniquely made to live because our Path and Purpose are co-opted by others' will and wishes.  Successfully taking full ownership of Self-permission, however, sets us free to discover who and what we really are and who and what we really can become. We are able to make our unique contribution to the world.  Courage, Humility, and Truth-telling are prerequisites for Self-permission.  Remember, as an adult, you really can do what you want, when you want, how you want, where you want, with whom you want. Use the privilege well.  Tune into Ep. 022, entitled Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise, to learn how your inner voice can help you add more Self-permission in your own life. How fully have you embraced Self-permission? In what area of your life can you exercise even more Self-permission?   The Fifth Ingredient: Self-responsibility The fifth Big 6 ingredient is Self-responsibility. Self-responsibility is complete ownership of our thoughts, words, and actions and the consequences that result from them. It is “extreme ownership,” to borrow Jocko Willink's phrase from his book by the same name. It is the antidote to the insidious and destructive force of victimhood and just about every other manifestation of human dysfunction imaginable.  When we are Self-responsible, we exhibit a willingness to acknowledge and make amends for mistakes. We choose to be solution-focused rather than problem- or blame-focused. We acknowledge that we always have a choice. We point the finger at ourselves first.  Self-responsibility helps us distinguish between what we can and can't control. It allows us to forge interdependent rather than dependent or co-dependent bonds in relationships because we're able to establish and maintain healthier boundaries. We neither assume too little or too much responsibility for others. We are 100% responsible for ourselves and appropriately responsible for others.  Courage, Humility, Truth-telling, and Self-permission are all prerequisites of Self-responsibility. Tune in to Ep. 019, The Cockpit is Yours: From Passenger to Pilot, for more on this topic.  How have you demonstrated Self-responsibility recently? In what area of your life is more Self-responsibility needed?   The Sixth Ingredient: Self-knowledge The sixth and final essential ingredient in the recipe for a life you'll be outrageously proud of when you die is Self-knowledge. Self-knowledge is an ever-evolving understanding about the kind of human you are–your Nature—and the influence of your Story–or Nurture–upon the person you've become. Together, Nature and Nurture help us discover the person we were made to be and the life we were made to live.  Self-knowledge is made up of both quantitative and qualitative data and information. It is both objectively- and subjectively-derived. Professional assessments and inventories like those that I use with my clients, our own experience, and counsel and feedback from friends, family, mentors, coaches, and mental health professionals are valuable sources of Self-knowledge.  Our pursuit of Self-knowledge depends upon increasing measures of Courage, Humility, Truth-telling, Self-permission, and Self-responsibility. In turn, the Self-knowledge that we gain helps us deploy Courage, Humility, Truth-telling, Self-permission, and Self-responsibility even more effectively.  Deeper Self-knowledge leads to a more enjoyable, meaningful, and productive life. Though its fruits are personally rewarding, we ultimately pursue Self-knowledge in order to better understand how we are uniquely equipped to serve humankind.  Tune in to Ep. 035 of Andrew Petty is Dying, Build Your Personal Owner's Manual: Understand Yourself Better, Enjoy Yourself More, and Live the Life You were Made to Live, for more on this topic. How have you deepened your Self-knowledge recently? In what area of your life is more Self-knowledge needed?    Perfecting the Recipe: Just Add More There you have it–the 6 essential ingredients in the recipe for a life you'll be outrageously proud of when you die.  The instructions in this recipe are simple: Just keep adding more. More cups of Courage. Heaps more Humility. Tons more Truth-telling. More generous scoops of Self-permission, Self-responsibility, and Self-Knowledge.  With this recipe, more is always better.   Each time you add just a little more, you're investing in a life you'll be outrageously proud of when you die.  Which ingredient can you begin adding more of today? Because remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   Become a Master Chef in The Graveyard Group If the Big 6 are essential ingredients in the recipe for a life you'll be outrageously proud of when you die, then The Graveyard Group is the kitchen in which you become a master chef.  You and your own personal, confidential board of advisors help each other perfect your recipes for amazing lives. The Mortality Mindset is the heat that energizes your work together. Step by step, week by week, you give the things that matter most the attention they deserve now, before it's too late.  Break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live. New groups for men and women are forming now. To learn more, visit my website to schedule a free session with me, find me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn, or email me.     Get Unstuck and Create the Life You've Always Wanted I know what it's like to be stuck. I also know what it takes to get moving again toward the life you've always wanted. If you're stuck, schedule a free coaching session to see if a 1-1 coaching partnership is right for you.   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 050 | Seize the Offensive: An Antidote to Fear, Dread, and Timid Living Ep. 070 | Forward, Pioneer!: Why the "Frontier" is the Best Place to Be Ep. 072 | Report from the Frontier: A Pioneer's Tale, with Kris Reeves   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher

What does it take to live a life you'll be outrageously proud of when you die?   That's really the question at the heart of this podcast. Together, we're cultivating the mindset and acquiring the means to answer this question. The Mortality Mindset breaks us free of the Status Quo's gravitational pull and motivates us to give the things that matter most the attention they deserve now, before it's too late. The insights and tools we've assembled along the way are the means by which we put the Mortality Mindset to work in the real world.   Here's another way to look at it: The means we're acquiring are like ingredients in a recipe, and the Mortality Mindset is the heat we apply to those ingredients in order to produce the desired result.   Through my own life experience, conversations with guests on this show, 1-1 coaching partnerships, and The Graveyard Group, I've identified six essential ingredients in the recipe for a life we'll be outrageously proud of when we die. I call them the Big 6. Other ingredients are important and useful, for sure, but none appear to me to be as important as these six. Without them, the recipe simply doesn't work.    In this episode, I'll introduce you to the first three of the Big 6, Courage, Humility, and Truth-telling. Tune in to the next episode for the second three, Self-permission, Self-responsibility, and Self-knowledge.    Ingredient 1: Courage The first essential ingredient in the recipe for a life you'll be outrageously proud of is Courage.  Courage is the sovereign choice to be brave in response to fear.  It is first among the Big 6 because none of the other Big 6 ingredients are possible without it. In fact, it's difficult to think of a single admirable personal quality or act that doesn't have Courage as its foundation.  Courage is not something you have to go find. It's something you choose to summon right here and now in order to take the very next step forward. We demonstrate courage when we choose to have the hard conversation, get out of bed when it would be easier to hide away, and take on a new challenge.  Consistently summoning Courage makes once-feared things seem trivial.  The antidote to fear is not becoming less afraid. It's getting more brave. So if you're scared, practice being brave. Over time, as your consistent choice to summon courage expands the frontiers upon which you're capable of operating in the world, the Frontier becomes your playground.  Courage is also contagious; the more we practice it, the more it inspires others to do the same. Tune in to Ep. 005, How to Become the Boss of Your Fear: Bravery-building to Live With More Guts and Gusto, for more on Courage, the first ingredient in the recipe for a life you'll be outrageously proud of when you die.   How have you summoned Courage recently? In what area of your life is more Courage needed?   Ingredient 2: Humility The second Big 6 ingredient is Humility. Humility is fueled by Courage.  Humility is the courageous willingness to acknowledge our ignorance, deficiencies, and mistakes and move forward anyway. Humility is a courageous attitude of the heart that welcomes truth no matter how hard it might be to receive. It continually verifies our perception of ourselves and the world against the feedback that others offer us. It is the “sober judgment” of oneself commended in the book of Romans. It is essential for learning and growth.  We demonstrate humility when we ask the question that no one else is asking, despite our fear that others will think it's dumb. We demonstrate humility when we confess our wrongdoing and ask for forgiveness. We demonstrate humility when we submit to the guidance and instruction of someone wiser than us. We demonstrate humility when we can acknowledge both our strengths and our weaknesses without any inflation or deflation of who we are.  How have you demonstrated Humility recently? In what area of your life is more Humility needed?   Ingredient 3: Truth-telling The third Big 6 ingredient is Truth-telling. Truth-telling is fueled by Courage and Humility.  Truth-telling is accurately defining reality–first for ourselves and then for others. Often, the only thing harder than telling others the truth is telling it to ourselves. It requires us to acknowledge who and where we actually are vs. who and where we'd like to be or think we should be. Often, it highlights difficult actions that we need to take.  Life can feel easier in the short-term when we don't tell the truth, but the degree to which we fail to tell the truth will be the degree to which our relationships with ourselves and others are based on lies. The short-term costs we incur for telling the truth pale in comparison to the long-term costs we incur for living by deception.  Very few of us set out to intentionally lie to ourselves and others. But we encounter significant internal and external obstacles to Truth-telling every day, and we're not even aware of many of them. For example, if we grew up in a family that only approves of certain professions, we may find it very difficult to acknowledge the truth that we're not well-suited to any of them. There could be big relational costs associated with telling the truth. Remember that there are big costs associated with not telling the truth, too.  A classic example is the middle-aged man who realizes one day with dismay that his corner office and high-paying position were someone else's dream, not his, but he wasn't willing to acknowledge the truth when it tugged at him along the way.  When we tell the truth, our starting point corresponds with reality and serves as a reliable point from which to move forward. If we don't tell the truth, though, our starting point doesn't correspond with reality, and our navigation forward will lead to destinations for which we're not intended.  My coach, the one-and-only Amy K., gave me a great tool for getting better at Truth-telling. Whenever you're finding it difficult to accurately define reality in a specific situation, finish the sentence, “The truth is, …” as honestly as you can. For example, “The Truth is, I feel scared about this opportunity even though I feel like I'm supposed to be excited about it.”  How have you told the truth recently? In what area of your life is more Truth-telling needed?    It's a Simple Recipe: Just Add More I don't enjoy cooking, so this whole recipe metaphor is a stretch for me. For me, the simpler the recipe, the better. Whether you enjoy cooking or not, though, I have good news: The instructions in the recipe for living a life you'll be outrageously proud of are simple: Just keep adding more. More cups of Courage. Heaps more Humility. Tons more Truth-telling. You get the idea. With this recipe, more is always better.   So, resolve to summon more Courage, risk more Humility, and practice more Truth-telling. Each time you add just a little more, you're investing in a life you'll be outrageously proud of when you die.  I'll introduce you to the other three Big 6 ingredients–Self-permission, Self-responsibility, and Self-knowledge–in the next episode.  In the meantime, remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   Perfect Your Recipe in The Graveyard Group If the Big 6 are essential ingredients in the recipe for a life you'll be outrageously proud of when you die, then The Graveyard Group is the kitchen in which you become a master chef.  You and your own personal, confidential board of advisors help each other perfect your recipes for amazing lives. The Mortality Mindset is the heat that energizes your work together. Step by step, week by week, you give the things that matter most the attention they deserve now, before it's too late.  Break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live.  New groups for men and women are forming now. To learn more, visit my website to schedule a free session with me, find me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn, or email me.    Get Unstuck and Create the Life You've Always Wanted I know what it's like to be stuck. I also know what it takes to get moving again toward the life you've always wanted. If you're stuck, schedule a free coaching session to see if a 1-1 coaching partnership is right for you.    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 050 | Seize the Offensive: An Antidote to Fear, Dread, and Timid Living Ep. 070 | Forward, Pioneer!: Why the "Frontier" is the Best Place to Be Ep. 072 | Report from the Frontier: A Pioneer's Tale, with Kris Reeves

Legacy. What is it, and why does it matter? As a 28-year veteran in the field of Otorhinolaryngology, clinical nurse specialist Maggie Gannon first encountered the transformational impact of legacy in the crucible of caring for desperately ill head and neck cancer patients. Then, cancer hit close to home. That ordeal galvanized her resolve to bring the power of legacy to everyone.   Today, Maggie is the founder and CEO of Haven, the first customer-centric company built from clinical research to help the patient, the family, and the companies that serve them improve quality of life during life's last chapter. Haven is changing the experience of death into something more meaningful and peaceful when the time comes. Maggie is also a recognized national lecturer and author.    There's Something to This Legacy Thing This is the second time in as many episodes that legacy has come up, so I'm taking note. If you haven't already, tune in to episode 075 with Alison Zimmerman for her perspective on legacy. There's something here that we need to pay attention to because those who have looked Mortality square in the eyes say it's important. Let's hear and heed their counsel now, before our own encounter with Mortality is upon us.    Highlights from This Episode How listening well helps others see new possibilities and generate new options for themselves Key differences between those who cope well with their Mortality and those who don't How years of caring for the chronically and terminally ill has changed how Maggie lives her own life–and what that means for you and me How Maggie's views on life and death changed when cancer hit close to home–and what that means for you and me The astounding mental, emotional, and physical benefits of connecting with and capturing our legacy  How to begin capturing your legacy today The top regrets that Maggie's patients expressed as death drew near–don't let them become yours! Tune in to the full episode for more…   Get in Touch With Your Legacy How well-acquainted are you with your legacy? In light of your own Mortality, what are you willing and able to do differently in order to become better acquainted with it and give the gift of your legacy to those you love? Thanks to Maggie and her Haven team, all you have to do is visit hvnlegacy.com to get started right now. Haven's guided, self-paced process is simple and intuitive and yours to use as you see fit. What you create remains as a permanent record for those you love and those who come after you.    Take the Narrow Road It would be much easier not to check out Haven. It would be much easier to enjoy the insights you gained from today's conversation but do nothing with them in the real world. But if you listen to this podcast, you are not interested in the easy road. You're looking for the narrow road that leads to a life you're outrageously proud of when you die, and you're intentionally tapping into the power of your Mortality to motivate you. Visit hvnlegacy.com and start capturing your legacy today.  Remember: You are going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   Create Your Legacy in a Graveyard Group As you capture your legacy on Haven, continue creating your legacy in the Graveyard Group with the support of your very own confidential board of advisors. Harness the power of the Mortality Mindset to break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon.  New groups for men and women are forming now. To learn more, visit my website to schedule a free one-hour coaching session with me, find me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn, or email me. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Connect with Maggie Email | LinkedIn | Website    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 053 | ​​No Time Like the Present: A Simple Tool for Giving the Things that Matter Most the Attention They Deserve Ep. 058 | How to Make the Most of Today: A Simple Framework Ep. 061 | Have Time, or Time Will Have You: Escape Regret and Create a Life You're Proud Of

Unless you're completely deluded or hiding under a rock, you know that life is hard. On the whole, it's a series of challenges, crises, and steep learning curves punctuated by brief periods of relative peace and ease. That's why all of us need to hear the very simple, highly-underrated, and completely unsexy message I'm offering you today. Unglamorous though it may be, it's a key to living a life we'll be outrageously proud of when we die.    The Message Keep going.  That's my message for you today. Profound and sexy, right?  When work is kicking your butt…Keep Going.  When you're passed over for a promotion…Keep Going. When your New Year's resolve is running out…Keep Going.  When things at home are stressful…Keep Going. When your kids are choosing destructive paths…Keep Going.  When your relationship with your grown son or daughter is distant and cold…Keep Going. When your desire for a significant other remains unfulfilled…Keep Going.  When your new business venture is on the rocks…Keep Going.  When your health begins to fail you…Keep Going.  When you get a terminal diagnosis…Keep Going.  When a loved one dies…Keep Going.  When others say it can't be done…Keep Going.  When the odds seem insurmountable…Keep Going.  When life throws you a curveball…Keep Going.  When your friends desert you…Keep Going. When your spouse betrays you…Keep Going.  When you betray your spouse…Keep Going.  When you make a mistake…Keep Going.  When the news is filled with gloom and doom…Keep Going.  When the economy is tanking…Keep Going.  If you're going through Hell…Keep Going, to quote the inimitable Winston Churchill.  If you're going through heaven, enjoy it…and Keep Going.  Whatever life is like for you right now…Keep Going. Don't stop. Keep Going.    The Real Road to Victory  Keep Going. Stay in the game. Find a way forward. Do not give in and do not give up. You might have to find a different way forward than you anticipated. So be it. Adjust and keep going. Your original dream may have crumbled. Very well. Grieve the loss, learn the lessons, and keep going.  When all of our strategies, tactics, and lifehacks aren't making a dent, “keep going” is all that remains. We too often look for the silver bullet and the shortcut, the smooth path to victory. But the road to victory is paved with grit, perseverance, determination, and a dogged insistence to simply keep going, no matter what. It's paved with courage, humility, and radical responsibility.  Too many of us have forgotten that.  Chop the wood, and carry the water. Chop the wood, and carry the water.  It's not pretty. It's not how we might like it to be. But it is Reality. Better to align with Reality than deny it and compound our misery.    Keep Going…with Purpose and Flexibility “Keep Going” isn't a call to purposeless, directionless movement without reflection, intention, or forethought. Sometimes, “keep going” can mean pausing to refresh, reflect, and regroup. But don't stay there, get stuck there, or get lulled into complacency. Rouse yourself to action again based upon the Insights gained during your pause to refresh, reflect, and regroup, and keep going. Insight + Action = Transformation. Wash, rinse, repeat. It's simple, but it ain't easy. So shoulders back, head up, eyes open, and with a heart full of courage and humility, take your next step forward.  “Keep Going” also isn't encouragement to keep doing self-destructive things or keep doing the same thing expecting different results.  When going in one direction isn't getting the results you want, keep going, but try a different direction. No matter what, though, keep going, and don't stop.   Get the Help You Need to Keep Going If you need help to keep going, practice radical self-responsibility and get the help you need. Maybe you need help getting going in the first place, much less keeping going. Fret not: It's part of the human condition to find ourselves completely stuck sometimes. Even better, stuckness is a necessary and sacred place full of potential energy and learning just waiting to be realized. Tune in to episodes 27 and 28, a two-part series on Breaking the Stuckness Stalemate, to begin getting unstuck and moving forward again today.    Some Good News! Here's some really good news: We only ever have to keep going for one day. Today is all we've got. Tomorrow never comes. Jesus said not to worry about tomorrow. Today has enough troubles of its own. And none of us by worrying can add a day to our lives. Whatever you may think of Jesus, that's some solid advice.  Here's more good news: Bottomless reservoirs of motivation to keep going are available to all of us all the time. Simply remember that you are going to die. One day–maybe even one day soon–you will draw your last breath. But you're not dead yet. In that light, nothing is more precious than this very moment. Tune in to episode 73 to learn how to cultivate this Mortality Mindset.  Keep going.   These APiD Episodes Will Help You Keep Going, Too Get the antidote to fear, dread, and timid living in episode 50. In episode 57, learn what to do when life throws you a curveball. Learn how to make the most of today in episode 58.  Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   The Graveyard Group: Get Going and Keep Going None of us, no matter how strong or how extraordinary, can keep going all the time on our own. Nor would that be ideal even if we could. We need help from others. The Graveyard Group gives you your own personal, confidential board of advisors with whom to consult and collaborate on a weekly basis. The Mortality Mindset energizes your work together. Together, you keep going, step by step, week by week, giving the things that matter most the attention they deserve in pursuit of a life you'll be outrageously proud of when you die.  Break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live.  New groups for men and women are forming now. To learn more, visit my website to schedule a free session with me, find me on Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn, or email me. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 027 | Breaking the Stuckness Stalemate: A Path to Transformation Ep. 028 | Breaking the Stuckness Stalemate (Part 2): The 5 Ingredients in the Recipe for Using Stuckness to Our Benefit, with Chad James Ep. 050 | Seize the Offensive: An Antidote to Fear, Dread, and Timid Living Ep. 057 | What to Do When Life Throws You a Curveball: Notes from the Field Ep. 058 | How to Make the Most of Today: A Simple Framework Ep. 073 | The Mortality Mindset: A New Way in the New Year to Make New Things a Reality  

On Mother's Day 2020, with COVID beginning its inexorable march around the globe, Alison Zimmerman got the news that her dad was being rushed into emergency brain surgery after an ER visit for a headache took a dramatic turn. Her dad survived the surgery to wake up to no peripheral vision, short-term memory loss, disorientation in time and space, and a terminal glioblastoma diagnosis.  Alison swung into action right away, first by being there for her dad's initial recovery from surgery and then by relocating indefinitely from her home here in Steamboat Springs to be with her dad for the duration of his cancer battle. A battle that included COVID-induced isolation in the hospital and being treated by medical staff in hazmat suits, two months' recovery from surgery, aggressive radiation and chemo treatments, and a Gran Mal seizure that nearly killed him.  After about a year of fighting the cancer, an MRI revealed that the tumor was growing. The medical community discontinued treatment, and Alison cared for her dad until his death in March 2022, just 10 months ago as of this recording.  In this episode, Alison digs deep to share how the crucible of suffering and loss that she endured with her dad is changing her. So listen closely. Alison has grappled with Death and returned, bearing hard-won gifts of clarity and wisdom for all of us. How can her experience with Death change how you live?   Meet Alison Zimmerman Alison is a creative at heart and a veteran of the hospitality industry who specializes in curated experiences and event design, from 1-1 partnerships to festivals. Her company, Wise Aspirations, creates containers that inspire expression, expansion, collaboration, and healing. As you'll hear, her experience with her dad's death has focused her understanding of her purpose in the world more sharply than ever before.    Highlights From the Conversation What matters more to Alison now after her ordeal with her dad What matters less to Alison now after her ordeal with her dad The everyday utility of contemplating your and your loved ones' deaths How suffering leads us to serve Emotional expression as strength The important of connection to our Legacy How Pain can reveal our Purpose How Pain helps us overcome our Ego The importance of facing the Truth   Making It Matter in Your Life What stuck with you from Alison's Story? Pause for a few moments. Allow your mind to quiet down and your heart to bring to the surface the one or two things from this conversation that are especially for you. As Alison exhorted us, "don't turn your head away from the Truth." Whatever your heart whispers to you in response to this episode, even if it's unpleasant or unwelcome, don't turn away from it. Instead, summon the courage to acknowledge it. Then, write it down so it becomes just a bit more real. Do that right now. Now...What's one thing, no matter how small, that you are willing and able to do to put one of your Insights into Action? Insight + Action = Transformation. By when will you do it?  Let Alison's story change yours--let the Mortality Mindset change you--before a crisis of your own makes it too late.  Remember: You are going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   Exchange Willpower for “We-power” in a Graveyard Group In the Graveyard Group, swap out willpower for "we-power" with the weekly support of your very own confidential board of advisors. Harness the power of the Mortality Mindset to break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon.  New groups for men and women are forming now. To learn more, schedule a free one-hour coaching session with me, find me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn, or email me. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Let's Connect If this episode helped you, I'd love to know. Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Connect with Alison Email | Instagram | Website    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 001 | You're Dying: How to Make the Most of It Ep. 008 | More Alive Than Ever: How Pain Points the Way to Purpose Ep. 016 | The Question That Changes Everything: The Go-to Tool for Living the Life You Were Made to Live

What new things do you have in mind for this new year? Maybe you want to tackle a new professional challenge. Maybe you want to pay more attention to your health. Maybe you want to dial back your intensity at work to make more time for family and friends.  Whatever your new things are this year, how will you make them a reality? At the very least, how will you ensure that you'll be able to say that you gave it your best shot? All of us are familiar with getting a strong start out of the gate–fueled by fresh inspiration and determination–but then fading somewhere along the way. Our willpower runs out. It's discouraging and can be genuinely perplexing.  “I really wanted to make that change,” we reflect regretfully to ourselves. “What happened?!” Let this be the year that you say goodbye to the demoralizing cycle of abandoned objectives and replace it with a new capacity for focus, perseverance, and tenacity that gets you where you want to go.  Some of the prevailing wisdom out there tells us that we need to create better goals, manage our time more effectively, develop better morning routines, get more sleep, get up earlier, make sure you do a cold plunge and a sauna every day, and keep a journal, to name a few. Those are all well and good and doubtless have their time and place. But they also depend upon our finite reserves of inspiration and determination–resources that haven't been adequate so far. What leads us to believe that our willpower will suddenly be up to the task this go-round?  We need something more primal, more compelling, and more reliable. Something that we just can't get around or ignore, even if we try.  That's what I'm going to give you today by sharing a simple message, a transformational mindset, and the practical means by which to apply the message and the mindset in the real world.    The Message First, here's the message. It's short and sweet: You are going to die.  Here it is a little differently: You ARE going to die.  And one more time: YOU are going to die.  It's not a matter of IF; it's just a matter of WHEN and HOW.  Wake up.  Say this with me: “I am going to die. It's not a matter of if; it's just a matter of when and how.” Most of us pay little attention to the reality of our Mortality. Some of us aggressively avoid thinking about it. There's something deep inside of us that recoils at the thought and actively resists it. And in the absence of a personal encounter with Mortality, the comforts and conveniences of modern life simply distract us from the reality of our Mortality.  But all of us will one day be forced to confront it.  My experience has convinced me that avoiding the reality of our Mortality does us much more harm than good. It's also convinced me that voluntarily confronting our Mortality is a key to living the life we were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon and dying with no regrets.    The Mindset So, the mindset I want to share with you is a way to transform your Mortality from an unpleasant reality that you avoid like the plague into the most powerful motivator you've ever had to create a life you're proud of.  I call it the Mortality Mindset.  First, I'll share a few snapshots from my story to show how this message and this mindset have changed my life. Then I'll explain what the Mortality Mindset is and the practical means by which to apply it in your life.   Snapshot 1: A Descent into Hell 25 years ago, I was a recent college grad, and after years of on-and-off, low-grade anxiety, my psychology had reached a perilous tipping point. I had been a gold-star kid all the way through college, but I now found myself aimless–without a plan, without an overarching purpose, and unable to find a way forward. Depression was beginning to sink its talons into me. Then, I began to experience some vague but persistent physical symptoms. My doctor wasn't able to provide a clear diagnosis, and I suddenly found myself in the grips of severe, debilitating, and all-consuming anxiety–specifically about catastrophic health events and Mortality. My psychology had been pushed beyond its limits, and I was in a full-blown mental health crisis.  No more a young man with the world as his oyster, I was now a young man clinging to his sanity by the thinnest of threads. At one point, it dawned upon me that I would rather die than go on living if relief from the psychological anguish didn't arrive soon.    Snapshot 2: A New Lease on Life Fast forward 14 years to 2012.  Over the years, I had slowly and painfully found a way forward. I'd even gotten married, and my wife and I now had two young boys. Unfortunately, though, I'd let myself go physically and had picked up some unhealthy ways of trying to cope. I was 60 lbs. overweight, abusing alcohol, and smoking heavily.  Then, in 2012, my brother-in-law got a bleak cancer diagnosis and began a three-year cancer battle that, sadly, ended in his death in 2015. As I watched him undergo excruciating and ultimately unsuccessful surgeries and treatments, I literally and figuratively looked down at my gut and realized that even though I wasn't in control of when I died, I certainly wasn't doing what I could to stay alive. I was gripped with a white-hot motivation to do whatever it took to get healthy again so I had a better chance of being around for my family as long as possible.  Staring death in the face through my brother-in-law's experience instantly clarified what was most important to me and supplied the will to act on it.  It was the ultimate status quo-buster.  For the first time, awareness of my Mortality was an asset rather than just a neurotic and crippling liability.  Within a year, I was back to my fighting weight. I was on a completely new path of health and wellness, and the depression that had lurked annoyingly in the back of my mind for so long had vanished. Anxiety was still an unwelcome companion, but I was now a man in motion, not just a deer caught in the headlights.  The momentum created by that tragic involuntary encounter with Mortality ultimately led to a major life renovation, our move out here to CO in 2014, and the professional path that I'm on today. Its effects are still unfolding.  Take a moment to reflect on this question: How has an experience with Mortality impacted you?   Snapshot 3: My Ally, Anxiety About four years ago, I reached a new level of exasperation with the Anxiety. All my years of trying to make it go away had been unsuccessful. One day, in desperation, in my mind's eye I turned around to face the Anxiety–this unwelcome, uninvited, and tenacious hitchhiker in my psychology. And I said, “If you aren't going to go away, then what are you here for?” That desperation-driven moment of surrender and acceptance transformed the Anxiety from a hated enemy into an unlikely ally.  I had begun my work as a coach by this point. Thanks to my newfound acceptance of Anxiety's place in my life, I had begun to wonder how my particular fixation on catastrophic health events and Mortality might be of use in my coaching work. I was certainly susceptible to thinking about Mortality too much. But I began to wonder: What if most other people thought about their Mortality too little–and as a result were twiddling their thumbs on the way to a regret-filled grave?  From seemingly out of nowhere, the words “The Graveyard Group” sprang to mind, and I immediately sensed that there was something to it. In January 2019, the first Graveyard Group was formed. Today, Graveyard Groups members courageously and voluntarily tap into the power of their mortality each week to live with guts, gusto, and abandon and escape death-bed regrets. More on Graveyard Groups later.  In 2020, I launched this podcast to share Mortality's unmatched motivational power with a larger audience.    Snapshot 4: My Friend, Mortality In the 3+ years that Mortality has had a central role in the way that I help people, it's also become clear that it's healing me. My once-bitter enemy, Mortality, has actually become a valued friend. Consistent voluntary consideration of my Mortality through The Graveyard Groups and the podcast has been a sort of exposure therapy. Through consistent, voluntary exposure, I've gotten braver. Today, I'm the boss of the Anxiety more than it is of me.  Nothing has ever given me that much authority over the Anxiety before.  It's more than just an antidote for Anxiety, though, as significant as that is; I'm more alive today than I've ever been before. I'm living more boldly than ever before. I'm more ME than I've ever been before. The things that matter most get more of the attention they deserve than ever before.  If I died today, I would be proud of the life I lived.  And I have Death to thank for it.  This is the Mortality Mindset in action.   Personal Reflection Here are a couple questions for your own reflection: On a scale of 0-10, and you can't pick 5, if you died today, how proud would you be of the life you've lived? If you died today, what's one thing you would regret?   But What is the Mortality Mindset, Exactly? I've described how the Mortality Mindset has become part of my life and how it's impacted me. But what IS the Mortality Mindset, exactly?  Simply put, the Mortality Mindset is the voluntary integration of awareness of your Mortality into your daily life.   It creates the transformational impact of a real encounter with Mortality without the trauma and tragedy of one–and while there's still time left to do something about it. It clarifies what's most important to us and motivates us to give it the attention it deserves NOW, rather than waiting for the ever-elusive “tomorrow” or “someday.” It gives us the extra nudge we need to pursue a dream, to take a risk, to have the conversation we know we need to have.  It provides a more compelling and reliable source of motivation than our finite, fickle, and fragile willpower. The Mortality Mindset is NOT normal. Those who embrace it are swimming upstream against their own innate tendencies and the prevailing tendencies of the culture we live in. It is rare, heroic, and life-affirming work.  How Do I Use the Mortality MIndset in My Own Life? To use the Mortality Mindset, one must Cultivate it. Farmers don't plant a seed one day and expect a fully mature crop the next. They plant the seed, water and fertilize it, and manage weeds over weeks and months in order to produce a crop. They cultivate their crop with care and consistency over time. The same is true of the Mortality Mindset. It must be cultivated with care and consistency over time, too.  Each of us is different and has a different pre-existing relationship with Mortality, so there isn't a one-size-fits-all list of steps that each of us has to take to cultivate the Mortality Mindset. There are no shortcuts, either. But here are some examples of things we can do: Die on Paper Before You Die for Real: Write your own obituary as if you've lived a life you'd be proud of. Be as specific as possible, and you get to choose when and how you die. Then, ask yourself what needs to change now in order for that obituary to have a chance at becoming a reality. With your Mortality as motivation, summon the courage to take action NOW on at least one of the things that needs to change. Revisit and revise your obituary occasionally, and take new action.  Set Your Date of Death and Work Backwards from There by asking yourself this question and taking bold action on your answer: If I knew I was going to die 5 years from today, what would I start doing differently today?  Make this podcast part of your routine, and resolve to do at least one thing in the real world–no matter how small–with a takeaway from each episode you listen to. Join a Graveyard Group so that voluntary awareness of your Mortality is built into your calendar each week. Create an intentional partnership with a friend, colleague, or coach for the specific purpose of cultivating and using the Mortality Mindset.  Visit the old and dying to remind yourself of how quickly time flies and glean valuable lessons from their experience.  Commune With the Dead by making occasional visits to your local cemetery. Read the tombstones, and reflect on the fact that you too will share the same fate as those buried there.  Just like a farmer's crop wilts and dies from neglect, so does the Mortality Mindset. Many of the guests on my podcast who have had extraordinary encounters with Mortality–people for whom you'd think the Mortality Mindset was now hardwired because of their experience–say that their awareness of Mortality fades over time. If it fades for them, how much more will it fade for us who haven't had the same kind of experiences if we don't tend to it diligently?   How Will I Know If I'm Using the Mortality Mindset Effectively? A soybean farmer knows he's successfully cultivated a soybean crop when soybeans appear on the plants.  Here are some of the ways you'll know you're successfully cultivating the Mortality Mindset: You intentionally live in one-day increments, acknowledging that today is all we have. You make daily decisions about how to spend your time and energy with your Mortality in mind… You give the things that matter most more of the attention that they deserve NOW. For example, you prioritize relationships over tasks and cherish the mundane moments with family and friends.  You value imperfect action now over “perfect” action tomorrow.  You find yourself having to summon fresh courage more often in order to open up new personal and professional frontiers for yourself.  What evidence do you find in your life that the Mortality Mindset is already at work?   To Sum Up… Alright, let's land the plane.  Don't rely on your finite, fickle, and fragile willpower to help you make the new things you have in mind this year a reality. Don't pin all your hopes on today's prevailing wisdom about how to achieve your goals, either. Reliance on willpower and prevailing wisdom just perpetuates the demoralizing cycle of abandoned objectives. Instead, dig deeper for a more primal, more compelling, and more reliable source of motivation: Cultivate the Mortality Mindset to acquire a new capacity for focus, perseverance, and tenacity that gets you where you want to go.  Year after year until the day that you die, the Mortality Mindset will empower you to live with guts, gusto, and abandon and give the things that matter most the attention they deserve before it's too late.  Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   The Graveyard Group: Exchange Willpower for “We-power” No matter how compelling the motivation, we still can't do it alone. In the Graveyard Group, you not only have a consistent time and place to cultivate the Mortality Mindset, you also swap out willpower for the vastly superior “we-power.” With the support of your very own confidential board of advisors, break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live.  New groups for men and women are forming now. To learn more, schedule a free one-hour coaching session with me, or find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.  I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying. Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too 001 | You're Dying: How to Make the Most of It 016 | The Question That Changes Everything: The Go-to Tool for Living the Life You Were Made to Live 046 | How Death is Bringing Me to Life: The Top 4 Ways That the Mortality Mindset has Changed Me

In episode 070, Forward, Pioneer!: Why the "Frontier" is the Best Place to Be, I asserted that we humans are made for the Frontier and the Frontier is made for us. To shrink back from it is to do ourselves and everyone around us much more harm than good. It's a short solo episode, and if you haven't listened to it yet, hit pause on this one and cue up that one. It's a perfect appetizer for today's main course.  Because today, we get a report from the Frontier from one of my favorite Pioneers, my friend Kris Reeves. This episode is episode 70 with skin on, so to speak, and it will encourage and equip you to take your next steps into the Frontier that's calling to you.    Meet Kris Reeves I met Kris a couple of years ago in one of those small-world, technology-enabled moments of serendipity. He was researching real estate in my local Steamboat Springs market and came across my wife's Instagram business account. Kris and Charis connected, somehow I got looped in, and it quickly became evident that Kris and I had a lot in common and a lot to talk about. It's been a pleasure to watch his Frontier Story unfold since then. About 5 weeks ago, Kris called on the first weekday in almost two decades that he wasn't reporting to his corporate job. He was calling to celebrate that he'd burned the ships and fully committed to his new professional Frontier. Immediately, I knew I wanted to share his story, and Kris has been kind enough to oblige.  Once you get to know Kris, though, I think you'll agree that he wasn't just doing me a favor. Helping others become Pioneers in their own right is part of his calling in life.  Kris is Birmingham, AL born-and-raised, and his accent is music to my ears as a native Southeasterner myself. After almost 20 years in HVAC distribution and manufacturing, Kris and his wife, Jennifer, responded to the call of their next Frontier to invest in commercial real estate--self-storage, to be exact. They've had remarkable success in a remarkably short period of time. As Kris will attest, though, the apparent "overnight success" of Peak Storage Group, LLC was carried on the shoulders of years of preparation behind the scenes.    Highlights From This Conversation How to discover your next Frontier.  What it takes to break the power of the Status Quo and enter your new Frontier.  How summoning the courage to enter your new Frontier not only changes you–it changes the world.  How to cultivate the Pioneer mindset. The key to turning your dreams into reality.  And more…   The Mortality Mindset Will Propel You Into Your New Frontier In this Chapter of his Story, Kris' Frontier is a new professional path. But Frontiers in our lives come in all shapes and sizes and flavors. Maybe the Frontier calling to you right now has to do with your health or a relationship or a besetting fear. Some of you know exactly what Frontier is beckoning. Others of you aren't sure at all or are actively avoiding even the slightest suggestion of a Frontier. But one thing is true of all of you: There IS a new Frontier with your name on it.  This is where the unmatched status-quo-busting power of the Mortality Mindset shines. If you knew you were going to die exactly 5 years from today, what Frontier would you venture into TODAY? Whatever your answer is, summon the courage right now to take your first steps toward it. "Tomorrow" never comes, but Death is inevitable. Don't die gazing upon your Frontier from afar. Instead, die exploring it with guts, gusto, and abandon.   And if you're already in your new Frontier...keep going!    Trusted Partners for Your Pioneering Journey Pioneering journeys are best undertaken with trusted, competent companions. That's precisely why I created the Graveyard Group.  With your own confidential board of advisors in a small group setting, you break the power of the status quo and boldly forge ahead into the Frontiers that are important to you. You rob Death of deathbed regrets even as you use it to motivate you.    New groups for men and women are launching in January, led by a fantastic team of facilitators.  Take control of your Destiny. See if the Graveyard Group is right for you. Visit andrewpettycoach.com to learn more.    See You In January, Lord Willin' and the Creek Don't Rise! I'm taking a creative break in December, so the next episode will air on Monday, January 9--Lord willin' and the creek don't rise. In the meantime, I wish all of you the very best of holiday seasons. In the midst of the hustle and bustle, give the things that matter most the attention they deserve. Hug the ones you love and tell them how much they mean to you.  I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Let's Connect I help men and women uncover what they really want in life and go after it with guts, gusto, and abandon. Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.   Connect with Kris Email | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | Website    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 070 | Forward, Pioneer!: Why the "Frontier" is the Best Place to Be Ep. 061 | Have Time, or Time Will Have You: Escape Regret and Create a Life You're Proud Of Ep. 054 | Live Life in Full Color: Lessons from the Limits of Human Ability, with Extreme Adventurer Doug Tumminello Ep. 005 | How to Become the Boss of Your Fear: Bravery-building to Live With More Guts and Gusto

“...So fire cremation, we really think, okay, somebody dies and, poof, they're ash. But what happens is the body gets put in an oven, which is known as a retort. There's an open flame that's at about 1800 degrees. It's got a five-inch pipe that feeds the fuel into the fire. So it has a very high carbon footprint. It uses as much gas as a cross country road trip. And the body's tissues are burned away. Fat is popping, and it's cooking the body. And then after about two hours what's left is bone, which is filled with fossil fuel and burned. So it's devoid of any nutrients. And then it's put through something that's called a cremulator, which is basically a pulverizer. And that's what you get back–pulverized bone that we call ash.” -Jamie Sarche, Director of Pre-planning at Feldman Mortuary  How did those words hit you? Were you shocked, a little disgusted or even offended? Did it pique your curiosity? Did it hit close to home because a loved one has recently died? Whatever your first response was, take note of it, and keep reading.    Meet Jamie Sarche Jamie Sarche helps people create end-of-life plans before the end of their life is actually upon them. Jamie helps us demystify death and dismantle our own residual death denial by taking us behind the scenes of a mortuary, connecting the dots between end-of-life preparedness and grief, making ancient Death and grief traditions relevant again, giving us an end-of-life planning toolkit, and making a compelling case for end-of-life preparations as an essential personal rite of passage.    Highlights From This Conversation What actually happens when a body is cremated, and why it's important for you to know The vital connection between end-of-life preparedness, grief, and personal empowerment What ancient Death and grief traditions have to teach us today How to create your own end-of-life planning toolkit Why end-of-life preparations are an essential personal rite of passage   How This Episode Affected Me If you've tuned in much recently, you know that rites of passage are very much on my heart and mind right now. Episodes 60 and 69 tell more of that tale. Among the many things that stuck with me from this conversation with Jamie, the significance of end-of-life preparations as an important personal rite of passage is top of the list. By voluntarily undergoing this rite of passage, we deal a mighty blow to our denial of Death and empower ourselves to live with even more guts, gusto, and abandon, and give the gift of less complicated grief to the loved ones we'll leave behind. I've already set the ball in motion to complete end-of-life plans for me and my wife.    Make This Episode Matter in Your Life Take a moment and breathe. Allow your heart and mind to bring to your attention the things from today's episode that are especially relevant to you. If it's a welcome Insight, receive it with joy and gratitude. If it's a less welcome Insight, but one that you know you needed nonetheless, receive it with courage and gratitude. Next, determine how you will pair your Insight with Action to move toward Transformation. Insight + Action = Transformation. What's one thing within your ability to control that you're able and willing to do between now and when the next episode of this show drops in two weeks? Whatever that thing is, commit to it, and do everything in your power to fulfill that commitment.    For some extra motivation and inspiration, tune into Ep. 064, End-of-Life Planning: Why You Should Do It Now, and How, with Michelle Mathai. Her story is both tragedy and triumph--a compelling case study in the value of making your plans now, while you still can.    The Graveyard Group: Demystify Death, and Live! I created The Graveyard Group to give us all a concrete, consistent way to demystify Death, dismantle our death denial, and harness Mortality's incomparable motivational power to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. With your own confidential board of advisors in a small group setting, you give the things that matter most the attention they deserve, before it's too late.  It's easier to stick with the status quo...until suddenly, it isn't, when crisis hits and there's no more time for do-overs. Don't let the status quo get the best of you. Tap into Mortality's status-quo busting power, instead. See if the Graveyard Group is right for you.  New groups for men and women are launching in January, led by a fantastic team of facilitators. Go Here to learn more.  I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Let's Connect To learn more about how I can help you live your one-and-only life with even more guts, gusto, and abandon, ind me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Connect with Jamie Email | LinkedIn | Website    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 052 | What Matters Most: A Transformative Conversation with the Rev. Dr. Nicole McDonald Ep. 056 | Ignore at Your Own Risk: How Your Relationship with Death Affects Your Quality of Life, with Dr. Frederic Tate Ep. 064 | End-of-Life Planning: Why You Should Do It Now, and How, with Michelle Mathai

What comes to mind when you hear the word “frontier?” Covered wagons? Lewis and Clark? Space–the “final frontier,” for all you Trekkies out there? Danger, uncertainty, a place to avoid? Or how about excitement, discovery, a place to seek?  In this modern age, the Frontier is neither an idea nor a reality with much apparent relevance or appeal. Most of us tread well-worn paths that lead to familiar destinations in our day-to-day lives.  That, my friend, is a problem, because we were made for the Frontier, and the Frontier was made for us. We are tapping into the fullness of our humanity when we push into uncharted territory. And whether we like it or not, ALL of us will be forced to encounter new Frontiers in one way or another many times in our lives. We might as well be ready for it.  Let's become seasoned Pioneers.    Divine Intervention “God, help. I have no idea what to do. Help me. Please.”  I was on my knees on the floor in what used to be our home office. I was at my wit's end. A work situation was stretching me well beyond my abilities, and I was stuck and scared. I think I've only prayed a handful of truly honest prayers in my life. Not because I ever intentionally set out to utter dishonest prayers, but rather because until I'm truly hard-pressed, until I really feel like my back is up against the wall, I often utter prayers from the head rather than the heart. A prayer that conveys, in essence, “God, I'm working on this thing, but thought I'd loop you in just in case you have anything to offer.” Maybe you can relate to that. On this occasion, though, my prayer was an honest prayer of genuine desperation.  Lest you're tempted to think of me as any more spiritual than is warranted, I have to confess that my phone was on the floor next to me. Because, heaven forbid, what if I missed a game-changing notification of some sort while I was communing with the Divine?! But, as they say, God works in mysterious ways, because as I uttered my desperate prayer, my phone buzzed to announce the arrival of a text. And yes, I checked to see who it was from. “Hang on, God, be right back with you.” It was from my dad who, as it happened, knew I was in the middle of a really challenging situation.  “You will meet God on the frontiers of your own ability,” his text began. “That's where He's waiting for you. Not short of that, or out beyond that where you think you “should” be or you wish you were.”  “Thx, Dad,” I wrote back, with tears of relief rolling down my cheeks and stunned by the way the truth of his words penetrated my heart. “Encouraging and timely. I'm definitely feeling like I'm on the frontier and disoriented. I was on my knees praying when you texted. Thank you.”  “Then go with confidence,” was his simple response. “God is with you.”   The Best Place to Be Go with confidence?  Go with confidence. God is with you.  Though the terrain wasn't any more familiar or any less menacing than before, and the stakes still felt impossibly high, this Frontier was now the best possible place to be rather than a place from which to escape as soon as possible.  In an instant, my relationship with this particular Frontier was transformed. So was my relationship with the Frontier in general.  On the frontiers of my ability, I now saw more clearly, God comes alongside to help me take the next steps. It's not as if he's not with me when I'm operating within my established zone of competence, exactly; it's just that his intervention isn't needed because I'm already up to the task. And far be it from God to be over-responsible and coddling, as we humans are often tempted to be. So, He waits for us out on the bleeding edges of our ability, eager to supply what we need in order to expand our frontiers even farther. The perfect Father. I want to be where God is bringing all of His mighty power to my aid as often as I can be.  My relationship with the discomfort that the Frontier inevitably brings was overhauled, too. Fear, uncertainty, and disorientation are all normal responses to the Frontier. In fact, they're like indicators on our personal dashboard, notifying us that we're approaching unfamiliar territory. Or, they might be indicating that we're actually approaching a familiar border of Frontier territory into which we've never been willing to venture. We just keep bumping up against its borders and retreating as soon as we make contact. As a result, it has remained hostile and unsettled–a barrier to our forward progress.  Now, though, I'm more able to see fear, uncertainty, and disorientation as potentially positive signs that I'm venturing into growth territory rather than warning signs that there's a deadly waterfall ahead. I can say to myself, “Hey, looks like you're scared and disoriented. You must be operating on the frontiers of your own ability. Good work. Stick with it. And remember: God is with you, so go with confidence.” In short, I'm becoming a more seasoned Pioneer. If you share a spiritual orientation similar to mine, then you may already have derived some fresh comfort and motivation from what I've shared thus far–especially if my account has helped you realize that YOU are operating on the frontiers of your own ability right now. But even if you don't have a similar spiritual orientation, it's still true that the Frontier–far from a place of peril and woe to be avoided at all costs–is actually the BEST place to be.    What Makes the Frontier the Best Place to Be? So what makes the Frontier the BEST place to be? Why would we put in the work to become a more seasoned Pioneer? First, whether you find yourself there voluntarily or involuntarily, operating on the frontiers of our own abilities fortifies us against the many perils of this life. It's the metaphorical weight room of our lives, where we add more weight to the bar. Additional weight adds more resistance, and repeated attempts to overcome that resistance give us greater strength, resilience, and adaptability in the face of life's many perils. By contrast and by definition, the complacency and atrophy that come from only ever operating within our abilities are existential threats. Whenever possible, then, voluntarily open up new Frontiers in your life so that you're better prepared for the involuntary Frontiers that Life will inevitably bring your way. Secondly, operating on the frontiers of our own abilities helps us find our unique Path in the world. You are on the offensive, deploying a spirit of voluntary exploration, seeing “what's out there,” so to speak, rather than hoping that “what's out there” will come find you. You are creating your own storyline within the ancient tale of human exploration and adventure. When we test ourselves on the Frontier, we come to understand more clearly the kind of human we are and what our ideal operating conditions are like. We also come to understand more clearly what kind of human we are NOT and what our adverse operating conditions are like.  As we begin to travel our unique Path in life, we begin to fulfill purposes along that Path that are uniquely ours to fulfill. We take our place in the world and in the grand Story of humankind. You are wind in the sails of the human enterprise rather than an anchor holding it back.  Thirdly, in time, new Frontiers become settled territory. They are no longer the realm of the unknown but get enfolded into the realm of the Known. They define the new borders of your expanded zone of competence. From those new borders, you can venture into new Frontiers that were once well beyond your reach. In addition to greater personal strength and the fulfillment that comes from treading your own Path, you now have more power and influence to wield for the world's good.    Become a Seasoned Pioneer The Frontier is the best place to be. On the frontiers of our own ability, we get stronger, we find our unique Path in life, and we acquire more power and influence to wield for the world's good.  We were made for the Frontier, and the Frontier was made for us. We are tapping into the fullness of our humanity when we push into uncharted territory. And whether we like it or not, ALL of us will be forced to encounter new Frontiers in one way or another many times in our lives. So we might as well be ready for it.  It's good to become a more seasoned Pioneer? What's your relationship with the Frontier like? What kind of Pioneer are you? Do you consistently recoil in fear or automatically register the indicators on your dashboard as a signal to turn around? Maybe some Frontiers–at work, for example–are welcome challenges but others–at home, for example–are confusing and anxiety-provoking. Whatever your relationship with the Frontier is like, what's just one way you could upgrade it? Start where you are, summon the courage to venture just a little bit more into the Frontier, and hold that new ground with tenacity–through all of the attending discomfort–until it becomes part of your settled territory. Then, advance again, Pioneer. And for some extra status-quo-busting motivation, remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   Companions for the Journey Even seasoned Pioneers need a companion for the journey.  Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.. Or, enlist a group of fellow pioneers to support you in your journey by joining a Graveyard Group. New groups are forming now. Visit andrewpettycoach.com to learn more.  I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 059 | The Making of The Alpinist's Marc-André Leclerc: A Transformational Conversation with Marc-André's Mom, Michelle Kuipers Ep. 054 | Live Life in Full Color: Lessons from the Limits of Human Ability, with Extreme Adventurer Doug Tumminello Ep. 012 | How to Harness the Winds of Discomfort to Get Where You Want to Go: Becoming a Seasoned Sailor on the Seas of Life

A year or so ago, I became captivated by the idea of creating rites of passage experiences for our boys when each of them turned 13--an age that to me represents the transition from childhood to young manhood. I don't remember what first turned me on to the idea. But once it took root in my heart and mind, it didn't let go. I explored the idea further through my own reading about traditional rites of passage and in a conversation with my coach, Amy Musson, in episode 060, called Rites of Passage: How Reviving Neglected Rituals Can Set you Free. I became more and more persuaded of its importance and more and more determined to make it happen for our boys. But I've dreamed big with nothing to show for it before. And in the midst of life's normal everyday demands, it would have been a lot easier NOT to do.  Long-story-short, this episode is a triumphant fist-pump: My wife and I recently pulled off our first rite of passage experience for our older son, Macgray. Today, Macgray shares what it was like for him and what it meant to him.    What's In It For You? Parents with kids still at home, I hope you'll listen closely to Macgray's words and be persuaded to craft a rite of passage for your kids, too, if you haven't already. Everyone else, broaden your application of this episode to any of life's other major transitions--marriage, mid-life, job changes, the death of a loved one, for example. How can ritual accompany those transitions in ways that acknowledge the incredible energy contained within them and channel it in positive ways? What collateral damage will failure to attach ritual to those transitions cause? What benefits might it bring?   What Did Macgray's Rite of Passage Include? Before we dive in, some insight into the specifics of Macgray's rite of passage experience will be useful. First, we created a guide that we called The Path to Your Rite of Passage. It shared a bit about the historical precedent for rites of passage and the three traditional phases--preparation, transition, and reintegration--outlined what he could expect for his own rite of passage, and clarified what would be expected of him. In the preparation phase, Macgray was expected to watch and listen to a handful of videos and podcast episodes we handpicked for him and share what he learned with us. In the transition phase--a phase characterized by mental and physical challenge--he was charged with hiking to and successfully crossing the Devil's Causeway, an exposed high-elevation ridge of rock in a nearby wildnerness area. The reintegration phase had two parts: First, a "campfire council of the elders" with me, my dad, and my father-in-law--where we read prepared letters to him of encouragement, exhortation, and instruction, and officially welcomed him into young manhood. Second, upon his return from the campfire council of the elders, a party with the whole family to welcome him back into the family as a young man. Macgray shared some reflections about his rite of passage experience with the family at that gathering, and his mom and two grandmas read their letters to him, too.  I invite you to tune in for the whole candid conversation with my firstborn son, Macgray, recorded in the comfort of his room just a day after the big party with the family, to hear what the rite of passage experience was like for him and what it meant to him. By extension, you'll learn what role rite of passage experiences can play in your life and the lives of those you love.   The Work Has Only Just Begun Folks, the rite of passage experience was more meaningful and rewarding than either my wife or I expected it to be. The family party was a tearful and joyful exclamation mark on the whole process. I'm SO glad we put in the time and energy to pull it all together.  The truth is, however, that Macgray didn't magically transform into a fully mature, fully responsible young man simply because he had a rite of passage experience. Nor does it insure that he will become such a man. The ritual doesn't create the reality. But it does make way for the reality. Having officially bid farewell to his childhood, intentionally encountered the emotions that come along with that goodbye, and welcomed him into young manhood, we're all reading from the same sheet of music, and the stage is set for his next developmental phase. It will be up to me and my wife to clarify what new responsibilities we expect him to fulfill, to resist the temptation to do for him what he can do for himself, and to provide new freedoms and opportunities as he demonstrates himself to be responsible and trustworthy. It's clearer to me even as I say this that we've got our work cut out for us. In a sense, it really would have been easier NOT to have gone through with the whole thing--not to have set our sights so high for him and for us. But it only would have been easier in the short-term. In the long-term, the unnecessary pain and hardship brought upon Macgray and, by extension, upon ourselves for failing to do our very best to equip him for life on his own would far outweigh the temporary convenience of not creating the rite of passage experience.    What About You? And so I ask you: Where is ritual missing in your life? What rite of passage awaits that will make way for a new reality for you, your child, or a loved one?    You Don't Have to Reinvent the Wheel; Borrow Mine! I'm glad to share the rite of passage guide and share more in-depth about rites of passage and the experience we created for Macgray with anyone who's interested. You can find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 009 | ​​Awaken Your Inner Kid to Be the Best Grown-up You Can Be: A Lighthearted and Enlightening Conversation With My 10-Year-Old Son Ep. 060 | Rites of Passage: How Reviving Neglected Rituals Can Set you Free, with Amy Musson

Just three years ago, in the dark of night on a battlefield in a foreign land, Army Ranger Sergeant First Class Ryan Davis was hanging on to life by the very slimmest of threads.  The tale of heroism, selfless love and courage, and perseverance in the midst of profound physical, emotional, and psychological suffering that unfolded on and after that battlefield incident is nothing short of mindblowing. It's the stuff for which Medals of Honor are awarded. In fact, Medal of Honor petitions have been submitted for individuals involved in Ryan's rescue. It's the stuff out of which new battlefield protocols and medical interventions are developed. In fact, new protocols and interventions have been developed as a result of lessons learned. And it's the stuff on which Hollywood blockbusters and award-winning documentaries are based.   In short, it's the kind of story for which I have absolutely no frame of reference, and neither do most of you, I would imagine. Ryan was pushed to the extremes of human experience and lived to tell the tale. And tell the tale he does--in this episode, for you and me.   It would be easy to spend an entire episode and then-some on the battlefield incident itself and the harrowing ups and downs of his recovery from it. But I did my best to manage my curiosity about those chapters of Ryan's story so that we could also explore what Ryan has learned on the extreme frontiers of human experience that we can integrate into our lives now--before a crisis hits or Mortality makes a surprise appearance. Because those who venture to the outer limits of human experience and return have knowledge that the rest of us need.  Today, in some of the most fundamental ways, 10-year Army Ranger veteran Ryan Davis is literally and figuratively a new man. Precisely how will become clearer as you listen to our conversation.  As you listen, though, don't fail to look for how Ryan's Story has insight that you can put into Action in your own life. Insight + Action = Transformation. Don't overlook the Transformation potential available to you in Ryan's harrowing tale--as different from your own Story as it may be.  Because no matter how different the specific circumstances of each of our Stories may be, we are all caught up in the same Big Story of humans trying to find their way through Life on Planet Earth. That's where Ryan's story and your story converge.  Tune in to the full episode for the whole story and all of Ryan's hard-won wisdom for your life.  Highlights from This Episode Ryan shares a blow-by-blow account of the battlefield encounter that changes his life forever Ryan shares the two moments that turned the tide in his recovery.  Ryan shows us how the body follows the mind–for better or for worse. The choice is yours.  Ryan explains how to use our pain to propel us forward in life.  How to transform your minutes into “moments” Separating your job from your Purpose What Ryan knows because of his experience that the rest of us need to know What's most important to Ryan now   Redeeming Ryan's Suffering In Your Own Life "We've stared this in the eye and we've cried at it and we've screamed at it and we've fought with it and we do not fold to it." Ryan said this in reference to how he and his son have responded to Ryan's new reality. This, my friends, is sometimes what it takes to keep moving forward in life. Resolve. Grit. An unwillingness to give in or give up, no matter what life throws at us. An unwavering determination to keep going. The spirit of a warrior.  Among many, many things, this sticks with me from Ryan's story. I want to embody and exhibit the spirit of a warrior in life--battered and bruised but undefeated to the end, triumphant in death.  What sticks with you? How will Ryan's Story change your Story for the better? Search your heart, be honest, and be specific.  Let Ryan's suffering be redeemed in the fruit that it produces in your life.  May Ryan's sacrifice be redeemed in all of our lives.    The Graveyard Group: Win on the Battlefield of Your Mind and Die With No Regrets Don't wait to encounter your Mortality until you have to. By then, it's too late to change anything. There's no do-over.  In the Graveyard Group, you intentionally confront the reality of your Mortality to tap into its incomparable power to motivate you to give what matters most the attention it deserves NOW. You do this with the help of your own personal, confidential board of advisors. Along the way, you overcome obstacles, mend relationships, make dreams a reality, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. In short, you fulfill your destiny and set the stage to die with no regrets.  New groups for men and women are forming now.  Go Here to learn more, or email me. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Let's Connect As your personal coach, I can help you win on the battlefield of your mind so you win on the battlefield of Life. Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Connect with Ryan Email | Instagram | Facebook   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 012 | How to Harness the Winds of Discomfort to Get Where You Want to Go: Becoming a Seasoned Sailor on the Seas of Life Ep. 044 | Lessons from the Chair: Redefining Disability, Avoiding the Victim Cave, and the Path to Personal Power Ep. 051 | Risk and Reward: How to Create a Life That You Love, With Andrea Green

Serendipity. According to the Oxford Languages Dictionary, “serendipity” is “the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.”  What if it was possible to harness the power of serendipity rather than leave it all up to chance?    Finding Serendipity in Our Own Story If we're honest, many of the most pivotal moments of our lives are unscripted, unplanned, and unforeseen. Even if those moments exist within the context of a plan we conceived, they are never just the result of the linear unfolding of that plan according to our conscious input at every turn.  If we're honest, the most pivotal moments rarely appear pivotal at the moment. We only see their significance clearly with the benefit of hindsight. We see in hindsight how one moment led to another and another and another, and how each of those moments led to THIS one.  They are what we call moments of serendipity.  Most importantly, if we're honest, many of our most pivotal moments of serendipity include the unique and often unsolicited contributions of other people.  We know this to be true in movies and books. The main character encounters other characters, and that encounter alters the course of the main character's journey. Of course the main character does things on their own that alter the course of their story, and mishaps befall them that don't involve other people. But the storyline is influenced and advanced most profoundly because of the main characters' interaction with other characters. We often fail to see that the same is true in our own Story.    Serendipity in My Story In the early 2000s–2003 to be exact, I think–I was in a season of profound personal and professional dissatisfaction and confusion. My parents were in the loop on my condition. Unsolicited, they gave me the opportunity to take an assessment called the Natural Ability Battery–a key tool I use in the work I do with 1-1 coaching clients today–so I could better understand the innate abilities that I could bring to the table in life. I took the assessment, and the results were enlightening, but I didn't have the will or the wherewithal to operationalize the results in my life at that point. I didn't yet have the ears to hear.  Fast forward to 2011 or thereabouts, and I was in another season of personal and professional dissatisfaction and confusion. Desperate for insights that would help me get unstuck, I dusted off my Natural Ability Battery report. But I needed a refresher on how to use the results, so I called Leslie, who first administered and interpreted the assessment for me back in 2003. I got the refresher I needed, but I got much more than that.  Unsolicited, Leslie offered to introduce me to her husband, Matt, who was a coach with a particular interest in young men like me–i.e. young men in ministry and in formation. Long-story short, Matt became my first coach. That partnership transformed my confidence and competency at home and at work, guided me through the difficult years surrounding our senior leader's departure, and helped me and my wife Charis summon the clarity and courage to close that chapter back East and start writing a new one here in Colorado in 2014.  Fast forward a couple more years and a lot of water under the bridge, I had decided to give this coaching thing a go–-based in no small part on my experience of being coached but also on my deepening insight about the kind of human I am and the kind of work I'm meant to do in the world. Coaching seemed like a good fit.  I cast a pretty wide net at first, coaching just about anybody and everybody who was willing to be a guinea pig. Thankfully, no guinea pigs weren't harmed in the making of this coach.  Then, again unsolicited,Leslie called to ask if I was interested in doing some leadership development work with a consulting company she'd been involved with for many years. She thought I'd be a good fit for the work, and she offered to recommend me to the company. I succeeded in securing work as an independent contractor with the company and learned a TON in the four years that I partnered with them. I also made some great professional connections with fellow independent contractors.  In fact, one of those connections, Beth Romano, tuned in to this podcast in 2021 and got inspired to live with no regrets and help others do the same. She reached out, and it soon became apparent that Beth was a great fit to spearhead the development of The Graveyard Group for women.  Suddenly, my original dream of making Graveyard Groups available to everyone–a dream that frankly had dimmed for a year or so–was brought back to life.    The Golden Thread A shimmering golden thread of serendipity that spans almost 20 years–starting with my parents in 2003 and culminating with Beth's installment as the first facilitator for women's Graveyard Groups. A series of unique and unsolicited contributions from people in my life were the catalysts that made it all possible.  There's much more to the story between the moments of serendipity that stand out like luminous blips on the timeline of my life, of course. As the main character in my story, I was living and learning, succeeding and failing, responding and reacting along the way. But the golden thread of serendipity was connecting my action in the world with others' sovereign input into my life in ways that neither I nor anyone else could ever have scripted.  There's something wonderfully spooky going on here, with this whole serendipity thing. As you may already know if you've tuned in before, I see God's hand in what we call serendipity. But you don't have to see it the way I do to still find threads of serendipity in your own life and recognize their importance. Pause and reflect. Where do you see a thread of serendipity in the tapestry of your Story?   How to Harness Serendipity's Power A very valid question at this point, however, is something like this: If serendipity can't be scripted or planned, then how can we develop a “serendipity strategy”? How can we harness the power of serendipity rather than leave it all up to chance? Our answer lies in the anatomy of serendipity, to spin up another metaphor. When we see more clearly that people are the primary agents of serendipity's activity in our lives, then we can simply resolve to put people first–to prioritize time with people more highly than before.  Accept the invitation for coffee with the new neighbor. EXTEND an invitation for coffee with the new neighbor. Get involved in a civic project in your community. Join a book club.  In short, cross paths with more people on purpose, with purpose.  You probably know by now that I'm a big proponent of solitude, and plenty of it. So I don't mean to suggest that we should frantically fill our days with people all the time. But I DO mean to suggest that if we want to tap into serendipity's benefits even more, then intentionally putting people first on our list of priorities is the way to go.  As you put people first, do so not with a mercenary mindset–merely to get something out of it for yourself–but rather simply with the knowledge that when you put people first, you tap into serendipity's wonderfully spooky workings in ways that can benefit both you and the other person in the days and years to come. Be as fully present with each person as you can be, bringing your best to each magically mundane moment of engagement between two people. There's really no telling what may come of it. Cultivate that sense of wonder and anticipation.  And that, my friends, is the “serendipity strategy.”  Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So harness the power of the serendipity strategy rather than leave it all up to chance, and hang on for the ride!!   Harness Serendipity's Power in a Graveyard Group The Graveyard Group is a one-of-a-kind way to cross paths with more people on purpose, with purpose.  In a small group setting, motivated by the reality of your Mortality, you and your very own confidential board of advisors spur one another on to live with guts, gusto, and abandon, fulfill your destinies, and die with no regrets.  New groups for men and women are forming now.   Go Here to learn more about joining a Graveyard Group, or email me. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Let's Connect If this episode helped you, I'd love to know. Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 025 | The Contentment Conundrum: Cracking the Code Ep. 050 | Seize the Offensive: An Antidote to Fear, Dread, and Timid Living

What do you need to let go of?  It's an easy question to ask, but it can be an awfully tough one to answer. In this episode, I'll share how an answer to this question revealed itself to me recently and the impact it's had. I hope my experience will inspire you to begin seeking answers to this question, too.     Stopped in My Tracks “I submit.”  The words startled me. They were my words, but they hadn't come out of my mouth. They weren't the expression of a thought in my head or from my heart either, exactly.  In hindsight, it seems most accurate to say that the words came from what I might call my spirit.  Somewhere deeper within me than I'm able to access consciously, from some part of me that interacts with the transcendent.  I was on one of my habitual walks down County Road 44 here in Steamboat Springs, CO. It's a stretch of road by a river running through ranch land. It's a stretch of road that has a meditative quality to me–not too much scenery to distract but not so little as to make it uninteresting. Few cars, very few people. Just me, the road, the breeze, the river, occasional cows, and sometimes the eerily prehistoric call of the sandhill crane couple that frequents the fields along the road.  On this particular walk, I was listening to the final cut of episode 63, Suffering, Surrender, and the Leap of Faith: How to Find Freedom on the Other Side of Letting Go to make sure it was ready to release in a few days. Carrie Chown's astounding tale of three seismic surrenders and the freedom she's found on the other side of letting go was washing over me when my spirit uttered those unexpected words, as if in response to Carrie's story, and stopped me in my tracks.  “I submit.”    Submit to…? I knew in that moment that something profound had shifted within me. In that instant, I also knew why my spirit spoke those words, specifically.  For a number of weeks leading up to that experience on County Road 44 among the cows and cranes and gurgles of the river, I'd begun to be aware of a tight-fisted, clinchy feeling–like I had a death-grip on something. I was unwilling or unable to let go of it. I wasn't at all clear on what the “it” was that I was clinging to so tenaciously. Judging simply by the negative quality of the emotions that it produced, though, it WAS clear that clinging to it wasn't doing me any good.  So, I'd begun to ask God a simple question: What do I need to let go of?  I repeated the question whenever it came to mind, holding the lines of communication open, so to speak, and awaiting a response.  “I submit” was my spirit's response to the answer I received as Carrie's story washed over me.  The answer? It was time to submit to the Author of my Story and to my place within the larger Story that surrounds me. It was time to let go of the idea that it was all up to me. The deep-seated belief that I had to get it just right, or else, was causing me to hold on too tightly to each moment, each decision, each action. It was causing me to attribute too much significance to each moment, decision, and action and keeping me from just living.  It was a call to faith–faith in God and in the structure of existence. It was a call to surrender. It was a call to let go.    I'm a Fan That was a couple of months ago. True to form, I instinctively got nervous that the effects of that transcendent moment would wear off.  But I'm glad to report that truly transcendent moments don't wear off that easily. I am calmer, more at peace, and more comfortable being myself than prior to that “letting go.” I'm better able to peer into the mists of the future with curiosity and wonder than anxiety and fear because the future holds twists and turns in my Story that–even though some of them will be painful–will nevertheless contribute to the Story that God is writing with my life and in which I'm an active co-creator. I'm emboldened by the knowledge that I'm not alone and it's not all up to me. I'm taking initiative on things in my life that I was shrinking back from before.  I'm even able to see my ongoing blood sugar challenge and its life-altering impact as a portal to new possibilities and discoveries rather than just a hurdle to clear. I share more about the blood sugar issue in Ep. 057: What to Do When Life Throws You a Curveball if you want to know more.   In short, I'm a huge fan of this whole letting go thing!   Transferable Lessons for All of Us My story is descriptive of my experience rather than prescriptive of what yours should be, as a mentor of mine used to say. You may or may not relate to the way that I conceive of and interact with the Transcendent.  My Story serves a purpose illustratively, nonetheless.  Namely, it is good to let go of whatever is holding us back. And, if we don't know what's holding us back, then all we have to do is ask.  Even though my story isn't prescriptive of yours, there are a few transferable lessons that you can put into action right away.  First, pay attention to any areas of tightness or constriction in your life. Pockets of negative and intense energy, places where there's an underlying insistence that things be a certain way.  Next, simply pose the question, “What do I need to let go of?” and keep the lines of communication with the all-wise Transcendent open.  Finally, create space within which the answer to your question can emerge. We moderns rarely prioritize solitude. We often falsely equate it with unproductive time or label it a luxury. In fact, though, it's the fertile soil out of which our most transformational revelations can spring. So don't neglect it. In holding the space for solitude sacred in your life, you'll be among the giants of humanity who did the same–the Benjamin Franklins, the Albert Einsteins, the Gandhis, the Jesus' of Nazareth–and not among the countless hordes who hurl themselves headlong through life without much thought or reflection and have little to show for it beyond filling their time.  But if you listen to this podcast, then you're not interested in just filling whatever time you're allotted on this planet. Instead, you want to give life everything you've got.  So, pay attention, pose the question, create space, and await your answer.  Your results won't be like mine, but they will be just what you need, just when you need it.    The Help You Need for Letting Go A healthy dose of objectivity goes a long way when we're trying to discover what we need to let go of.  That's one of the reasons why I created The Graveyard Group. In a small group setting, you and your very own confidential board of advisors discern what you need to let go of and help you take the steps necessary to let go of it so you can live YOUR one and only life with even more guts, gusto, and abandon.  A new women's Graveyard Group is forming now, with my colleague, the amazing Beth Romano, serving as its facilitator. Beth pioneered the first women's Graveyard Group this past January, and now she's inviting more women to benefit from the experience.  Go here to learn more about joining a women's Graveyard Group, or email me. Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   Let's Connect Could a coaching partnership with me be just the thing you need right now? Find me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.     Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 011 | Embracing Mystery, When to Call It a Day, and What Matters Most: Lessons from an Astonishing Life-After-Death Story Ep. 013 | Two Death Sentences and Still Surfing: An Assumption-busting Conversation About Letting Go, the Sneaky Downside of Hope, and Embracing Life's Necessary "Little Deaths" Ep. 063 | Suffering, Surrender, and the Leap of Faith: How to Find Freedom on the Other Side of Letting Go, with Carrie Chown

Pam Blackburn loves to climb mountains.  Pam is also dying.  In this episode, Pam shares what the view is like from her lonely mountaintop of terminal illness. This is her final word to the world, prepared courageously and graciously to serve all of us who don't have access to the same view.  There are things we need to hear and things we need to know that only those, like Pam, inhabiting the sacred and surreal space between life and death can convey to us. And there are things we need to do as a result of the insight we gain.  I feel so fortunate to have met Pam and to count her as a new friend. She is full of life and warmth and mischief--more vibrantly alive in the midst of her suffering than most people I know. She is so clearly being transformed by her ongoing dance with Death, and I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that there are ways in which her encounter with Mortality has actually saved her life.  This episode doesn't follow the usual conversational interview format you've become accustomed to on this show. Instead, if you tune in, you'll hear only from Pam--reading her final word to the world that she poured her heart and soul into preparing for you and me.  Also, about 11 minutes in, Pam mentions "the glittery little children" that cancer leaves behind just waiting to come to life. She's referring to cancerous cells that are undetectable by scans but inevitably cause trouble down the road.    Some Highlights from Pam's Message for the Living How Pam's terminal diagnosis has been a gift and given her tremendous newfound freedom.  How Death has brought Pam to life.  Pam's top 10 tips for how to live well.  Pam offers her final words to her husband and five kids.  Tune in for all of Pam's message for the living!   Making It Matter in YOUR Life In this episode, we were welcomed into the heart of a fellow human who is staring her Mortality squarely in the eyes. We ascended briefly to the lonely mountaintop that Pam stands on and shared her view from there. What an astounding gift. Thank you, Pam.   What will you do with Pam's gift to you? Don't wait until Death comes knocking on your door to WAKE UP and acknowledge the reality of your Mortality. Instead, courageously and voluntarily confront your Mortality to harness its incomparable motivational power and live YOUR one and only life with guts, gusto, and abandon.  You can start today.  What lessons will you take to heart from Pam's report from the frontlines? What's just one thing you are willing and able to change today--the only day we've got--as a result of what stuck with you? I'm Motivated to Let My Mortality Motivate Me! What Do I Do Next?? It's one thing to tap into Mortality's motivation to live YOUR one-and-only life with guts, gusto, and abandon. But it's another thing entirely to sustain it and act on it day-in and day-out, week-in and week-out, over the course of your lifetime. It's a discipline and a practice, and it happens best with the support of others who are on the same path.  That's why I created The Graveyard Group. In small group settings, you and your very own confidential board of advisors help each other leave it all out on the field of life. You clear obstacles, mend relationships, summon the courage to pursue your dreams, and give the things that matter most the attention they deserve--before it's too late. You become the person you were made to be and live the life you were made to live I'm excited to share that a new women's Graveyard Group is forming after Labor Day, with my colleague, the amazing Beth Romano, serving as its facilitator. Beth pioneered the first women's Graveyard Group this past January, and she's ready to welcome more women into the experience.  Go Here to learn more about joining a women's Graveyard Group, or email me. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying. Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   Let's Connect If this episode helped you, I'd love to know. Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Connect with Pam Email | Instagram | Facebook | Website    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 006 | The Nine Lives of Lise Leroux: One Woman's Mind-blowing Tale of Living With a Terminal Diagnosis Ep. 011 | Embracing Mystery, When to Call It a Day, and What Matters Most: Lessons from an Astonishing Life-After-Death Story Ep. 013 | Two Death Sentences and Still Surfing: An Assumption-busting Conversation About Letting Go, the Sneaky Downside of Hope, and Embracing Life's Necessary "Little Deaths"

Do you have a plan for when you die? Do you have a plan for when your loved ones die?  In 2001, Michelle Mathai was just two years into her first foreign service post as vice consul in Auckland, NZ. She and her parents were on a farewell trip around the island in anticipation of Michelle's imminent departure for a new post in El Salvador. In the blink of an eye, the trip turned tragic when their car, with her dad at the wheel and her mom in the back seat, careened off the road and into the mercilessly icy current of a glacial river. As water rushed in, Michelle was able to kick out the windshield to escape the car, but her desperate attempts to save her parents were unsuccessful.  In this episode, Michelle shares how the complete lack of preparation for her parents' deaths impacted her and her brother. She shares how painful lessons learned from that experience helped her create a very different ending for her brother when he died in 2017 after almost a 20-year battle with brain cancer. And she shares how to have the tough end-of-life conversations with our loved ones NOW--before end-of-life issues become a reality--and what exactly needs to be covered.   Highlights From the Conversation The hardships that failure to have an end-of-life plan causes when a loved one dies, and the benefits of having a plan  How the grieving process is impacted by lack of end-of-life plans How to create end-of-life plans with your loved ones What an end-of-life plan contains The value of simplifying your life materially so that there's not so much stuff for loved ones to sort through when you die. How beauty can be found in the “tough stuff” Why Michelle has no tolerance for “all the bullshit” anymore, and why you shouldn't either   Making It Matter In YOUR Life Dying well starts now. It starts with acknowledging the inevitability of our death, allowing that awareness to keep us present in THIS moment, and taking concrete steps today to plan for our ultimate demise. It requires making our Death part of our Life, here and now. It's a formidable and beastly tension to tangle with, but tangle with it we must if we are to depart this life with grace and peace. As I've discovered in the three-plus years that I've been actively cultivating this Mortality Mindset, if we persist in tangling with this tension, it becomes a powerful catalyst for giving the things that matter most the attention they deserve NOW and living the life we were uniquely made to live. Paradoxically, it becomes a friend and ally rather than a detestable and repugnant enemy to be avoided at all costs. As my then-10-year-old son, Macgray, said one night at the dinner table, much to our surprise and amazement, "Death brings meaning to life." When we estrange ourselves from our Mortality, we estrange ourselves from our very Life.  And so we conclude where we began: Do you have a plan for when you die? Do you have a plan for when your loved ones die? If not, what's just one thing you're willing and able to do today to begin assembling a plan?   Let Me Know! What stuck with YOU from this episode? Message me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn @AndrewPettyCoach, or email me at andrew@digdeepwinbig.com. Be sure to tune in to the next episode--a sort of mirror image of this episode. Terminal brain cancer warrior, Pam Blackburn, will offer her final word from the sacred space she now inhabits between life and death. It is both heartrending and intensely clarifying in the most useful of ways.  I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Let's Connect Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Connect with Michelle Email | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | Website | Podcast   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 056 | ​​Ignore at Your Own Risk: How Your Relationship with Death Affects Your Quality of Life, with Dr. Frederic Tate Ep. 052 | ​​What Matters Most: A Transformative Conversation with the Rev. Dr. Nicole McDonald Ep. 005 | How to Become the Boss of Your Fear: Bravery-building to Live With More Guts and Gusto

What do you need to let go of? In her teens, alcohol became Carrie Chown's refuge from emotional pain. By her early college years, she was firmly in the grips of alcoholism. Carrie worked hard to keep everything looking shiny on the outside, but inside she wanted to die. Then, she was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension as a college junior and was told she had two years to live. Ironically, it felt like an answer to her prayer to die.  In June of 1999, Carrie summoned the will and the courage to get sober so she could begin an IV treatment the following month. Remarkably, she survived six years with pulmonary hypertension and received a life-extending double lung transplant in December 2003. After the transplant, Carrie was told that she might only have two more years to live.  With a handful of years of sobriety and intensive recovery work now under her belt, Carrie emerged from the transplant physically, spiritually, and mentally aligned. She was ready to live. She moved out of her parents' house, started working, got married, and bought her first home.  But she lost sight of all of the gifts in her life during an excruciating seven-year infertility journey.  There's more to this story, and Carrie fills in the gaps in the conversation that follows. But what I've just shared with you sets the stage for the insights and wisdom that Carrie offers in this episode. At face value, it's a gripping tale of human suffering, perseverance, and the will to live. But on a deeper level, it's a master class in how to find freedom on the other side of letting go.     Meet Carrie Chown Today, Carrie is a Life, Health, and Wellness Coach and Reiki Master Practitioner. She has a private practice in Woodland, CA where she uses traditional coaching, energy work, and unique life coaching experiences to help her clients move beyond the things that hold them back and create lives full of passion, purpose, and wellbeing.   Some Episode Highlights Carrie shares what she had to let go of in each of the three monumental surrenders she's experienced in her life–addiction, terminal illness, and infertility–and what freedom she found on the other side of letting go.  How to know when to keep fighting and when to surrender.  Carrie's take on the purpose of suffering.  The necessity of detaching from the outcome.  How letting go makes it possible to see other options.  The difference between suffering that heals and transforms and suffering that destroys.  Carrie's take on her leap of faith–why, how, and how it turned out.    What Do You Need to Let Go Of? Letting go is not a popular idea in our hard-driving Western culture. But one has only to consider how physically and mentally unhealthy our culture is--unprecedentedly so, in fact--to realize that there's much about how we live today that needs to change.  So perhaps letting go is something all of us need to practice more. Letting go of our demand that life be a certain way and accepting what actually IS, instead. Letting go of our demand that our partner meet all of our needs and assuming full responsibility for own wellbeing, instead. Letting go of our tireless efforts to prevent future catastrophes and accepting that much of the future is completely outside of our control. Letting go of our need for our kids to fit our mold and nurturing their unique qualities, instead.  Examine your own heart and observe your own life to discern where a surrender might be calling to you. Look especially closely at those areas in your life where you consistently experience a sense of stuckness and frustration, a pushing-back from life as it resists your repeated attempts to create a different reality. What freedom awaits you on the other side of letting go?    Let Me Know! What stuck with YOU from this episode? Message me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn @AndrewPettyCoach, or email me at andrew@digdeepwinbig.com. I'm taking a creative break in July to have adventures with my family and give my heart and mind an opportunity to reset and be refreshed. The show will return in August with two episodes that I'm really looking forward to. From her own heartrending experiences with loss and caregiving, Michelle Mathai will teach us how to have the hard conversations with our loved ones about end-of-life issues NOW--before end-of-life issues become a reality. And terminal brain cancer warrior, Pam Blackburn, will offer her final word from the sacred space she now inhabits between life and death. If these sound like hard episodes to look forward to, much less listen to, then lean into the discomfort and tune in anyway. They might just be the episodes that you especially needed to hear.  I'm so glad you tuned in today, and don't forget to follow this show. I'll see you again in August on Andrew Petty is Dying, Lord willin' and the creek don't rise!   Let's Connect If this episode helped you, I'd love to know. Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.   Connect with Carrie Email | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | Website    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 008 | More Alive Than Ever: How Pain Points the Way to Purpose Ep. 020 | There's Love Beneath the Waves: Ancient Wisdom for Living Wrapped in a Modern-day Story of Suffering Ep. 037 | Dare to Play More: Why & How

“What do you do?” We're all familiar with that question. It comes up naturally when we meet someone for the first time in a social setting. Its usual purpose is to learn what someone does for a living to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads.  In this episode, however, we'll REpurpose this old question in a new way to help you know yourself better and discern even more clearly the paths in life for which you're uniquely made. It will become a new tool in your ongoing quest to live YOUR life with guts, gusto, and abandon.    My Answer to “What do you do?” “I seek to understand how we should conduct ourselves in this world to produce the best results with our lives.” That's my most current answer to the repurposed version of the familiar question, “What do you do?” that I'm sharing with you today. It's a description of what I've ALWAYS done, regardless of my age or stage of life or job. It's a description of what I can't NOT do, of what I've always felt compelled to do, of what always calls to me in the midst of whatever else I'm actually doing.  It's not a carefully-crafted mission statement or a statement of intention. It's not aspirational. It's a statement of what IS. It's a statement of who I am and what I do in the world on a fundamental level. I can no more change myself on that fundamental level than I can alter the course of the stars in the sky.  That's the level of insight that we're after with our newly-repurposed version of “what do you do?” My desire for understanding has been evident from an early age–as have been whatever impulses guide you on a fundamental level. One day, when I was a little boy, for example, I paused to examine the dirt, and then asked my mom “what's the dirt doing?” (There may or may not have also been another episode at about the same age where I paused to pray for a caterpillar, then sent it to caterpillar heaven with a decisive stomp of my foot. My mom still hasn't gotten over the shock. She thought I was praying for its welfare, but apparently I was administering its last rites. But I digress…)   What's the Big Deal About Answering “What Do You Do?” for Ourselves? The big benefit of knowing what we do on a fundamental level with this kind of clarity is that it strengthens our sense of who we are and what we're here for. Enlightened and strengthened in these ways, we can then pursue personal and professional paths that align with what we do on a fundamental level. What we do for a living to keep food on the table and a roof over our head can be a natural extension of what we've always done and will always seek to do on the deepest levels of our being.  I'm grateful that what I do for a living IS a natural extension of what I do on the most fundamental level. I've discovered that that marriage between both levels of doing is a self-perpetuating engine of growth, both fed by and feeding the very processes that drive it.    Life is hard enough without the added hardship of persisting in personal and professional paths that don't align with who we really are and what we really do. And the world needs all of us as fully engaged in our unique purposes as we can possibly be. How confident are you in your current answer to “what do you do?”   How to Answer “What Do You Do” for Yourself I've arrived at my current answer to this question through ongoing observation of myself as I move through the world. But that observation has occurred in the grit and grime of real life, not from behind glass with lab coats and clipboards. My conclusions at this point are based upon real-world trial and error, successes and failures. They are the result of countless implementations of my formula for human growth, Insight + Action = Transformation.  My answer is also based upon others' feedback about what they observe in me. I've proactively sought that feedback from family, friends, and professional acquaintances. I've also enlisted resources like coaching and therapy to create the kinds of insights that those kinds of partnerships are especially good at creating.  My answer will continue to evolve, too, as long as I stay engaged in the question and summon the courage to act upon what I learn.  What are one or two observations have you made about yourself so far in life that help you better understand what you do on a fundamental level?    Draft Your First Answer to “What Do You Do?” Today “What do you do?” is a familiar question that you can repurpose in a new way to help you know yourself better and discern even more clearly the paths in life for which you're uniquely made. It takes time and awareness to wield this tool, and all of us are capable of wielding it well if we choose. It takes courage to act upon the insights we gain, forsaking paths that aren't ours in favor of ones that are.   Live YOUR life with guts, gusto, and abandon.  Take a new step in that direction today. Draft your first answer to “what do you do?” Don't white knuckle it, and don't censor or judge yourself. Then, update your answer whenever observations made in the real world generate new depths of insight into what you do. Wash, rinse, repeat.  Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   I Can Help You Discover What You Do in the World Connect with me Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me. Go here to learn more about the Graveyard Group, where you get invaluable insight and feedback from your own confidential board of advisors.  One final note before I sign off today: I'll release one more episode in June before I take a creative break for the month of July to rest and retool. I look forward to returning refreshed in August. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise Ep. 039 | How to Change the World: An Antidote to Apathy and Despair in an Age of Doom and Gloom

This episode is a wake-up call, a call to get back in the driver's seat of your life, a call to become the boss of your most precious nonrenewable resource: Time.  Because if you don't have time, Time will ultimately have you. And you won't like the results.    Guilty as Charged How many times have we heard someone say, “I don't have time,” or “If only I had more time,” or said something like that ourselves? I imagine we've all done it. I sure have.  If we're honest, sometimes we trot out statements like these like badges of honor in an attempt to show others just how important and busy we are. Or, I suspect, simply to try to justify or comfort ourselves: “I couldn't possibly have gotten to that because of all of this, you see.”  But the cold, hard truth is that statements like those are really admissions of guilt.  The crime? Failure to assume full responsibility for how we use our time. It's a crime we're all guilty of on occasion.  And the verdict we impose upon ourselves for that crime is future regret.     The Anatomy and Tragedy of Regret Overwhelmingly, it's regret for things undone that the old and the dying speak of most painfully–not regret for mistakes made along the way. Sins of omission, so to speak, rather than sins of commission. Regret for spending too much time working and not enough time with their kids. Regret for shying away from adventures that called to them and retreating to the apparent safety of the status quo. Regret for failing to maintain dear friendships over the years. Essentially, regret for failing to give the things that matter most the attention they deserve when they were still able to do so.  None of us consciously sets out to accumulate regrets. But what we so often fail to realize is that each and every day is either an investment in a regret-filled future or in a deeply satisfying one. Posing it as an either-or proposition is an oversimplification to make the point. In reality, any given day can be an investment in both futures. But the point remains, nonetheless. It's also a compounding investment, that accrues over time and can't be made or reversed in a single future moment of regret.  There are a myriad of common reasons, many of them very compelling, why we fail to take complete responsibility for how we use our time. Competing priorities, innate wiring, and fear of the consequences of our choices are just a few. Paradoxically, the immense freedom that taking full responsibility for our time would give us seems to scare many of us off. We want freedom without responsibility. But there's no such thing.  And frankly, it's easier to let one day slide into the next without doing the hard work day in and day out to take full responsibility for how we use our time. It's easier, that is, until one day, it isn't, and the consequences of our neglect become painfully clear in the face of crisis, tragedy, loss, or old age.    No Excuses! None of those reasons, though–compelling as they may be–changes the fact that if we don't have Time, Time will have us. If we don't proactively possess the Time we're given, it will possess us and sweep us along as if in a rip tide toward a future we don't want.  And at the end of the day, none of those reasons, however compelling, is an excuse that gets us off the hook for not taking full responsibility for how we use our time. We know this deep down, don't we, if we're brutally honest with ourselves. And every time we summon an excuse, we weaken and undermine ourselves, like the banks of a river being undercut and compromised by the water's persistent flow.    How to Become the Boss of Your Time If we're persuaded at this point that having time is better than time having us, so to speak, we're still left with the question of how. HOW do we take full responsibility for how we use our time?  First, resolve in your heart to accept complete responsibility for how you spend your time. Embrace your uniquely human superpower of choice–a topic we touched on in episode 058, How to Make the Most of Today. You don't HAVE to do anything. Everything is a matter of sovereign choice–whether we've fully realized it or not yet. We exercise our sovereign choice according to values and priorities. You don't HAVE to pick your son up from school, for example. But you choose to because that fulfills your agreement with him made earlier that morning, which fulfills your choice to be a person of integrity and a trustworthy, loving parent. With practice over time, you'll begin to see that every moment of every day is full of choice–not “have tos” and “shoulds” and “need tos.” You are free to choose! As you practice using your time as you choose, you'll begin to see options where before you only saw limitations. Your ability to creatively problem-solve your day in alignment with your values and priorities will begin to expand.  Next, Time may be our most precious nonrenewable resource, but Courage is one of our most powerful renewable resources. Summon the courage to begin using your time to give the things that matter most more of the attention that they deserve right now. This requires courage because it means stepping into the very real tension of competing priorities, choosing one over the other, and accepting whatever the cost might be. You will have to begin getting really honest about what matters more to you than other things and putting your money where your mouth is. It might mean leaving the office when there's still a lot more work to be done so that you can be on time for dinner with your wife or your daughter's basketball game. You'll face your boss' displeasure, but you'll enjoy the satisfaction of giving your family the invaluable gift of your time and attention. For more on how to manage life's many tensions more effectively, tune in to episode 017, Busting the "Balance" Myth: A Better Way.  Next, live Today, AND keep an eye on the future. Today is the only day we've got. We can't live our tomorrows today. In fact, strictly speaking, tomorrow never comes. This is good news! The only day we can actually do anything about is Today. So, summon the courage to exercise your superpower of choice in all of your comings and goings today. And, along the way, exercise your best judgment about what choices would contribute to a regret-free future to guide you. Sometimes, it's pretty clear which choice would contribute to fewer regrets in the future. Sometimes, it's much harder to tell. Keep at it, though, and in time you will refine your judgment through experience so that it serves you even more reliably.  Finally, cultivate the Mortality Mindset. Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, clarifies our priorities and motivates us to break free of the tenacious grip of the status quo like conscious confrontation with our Mortality. Like unblinking acknowledgment of the fact that we will one day draw our last breath in this life and be completely out of time and options. But in order to harness Mortality's incomparable motivational power, short of experiencing an actual crisis, we have to work at it. We have to courageously and consistently bring our Mortality to mind. This flies counter to our most deep-seated human instinct to avoid our Mortality. And we're especially skilled at doing this in the affluent Western world, where we've done an excellent job of insulating ourselves from crisis and death through a vast array of technological advances and conveniences and direct active avoidance.  Which is why I say that we must “cultivate” the Mortality Mindset–much like a crop must be cultivated. Short of the impact of an actual crisis, it won't arise out of the soil of our hearts and minds on its own. Everything instinctively within us is trying to suppress its emergence, in fact. We must till the soil, plant the seed, water it, and protect it from external threats until it reaches maturity. And then, once mature, we continue to nourish it so that it continues to produce fruit in our lives. In this, we must have the attitude of the patient and persistent farmer.  Make this podcast a steady part of your diet, and till the insights you glean from it back into the soil of your heart and mind. Join a Graveyard Group, where each week we tap into the power of our Mortality to motivate us to live the lives we were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. Write your own obituary, and make it a habit to read it once a month or so to keep you orientated toward a life that you'll be proud of when you draw your last breath. There are a myriad of ways to cultivate the Mortality Mindset. But there are no shortcuts and no silver bullets. It's a commitment, a discipline, and a practice.    Choose Your Hard! If we don't have time, time will have us. Time is no respecter of persons and cares nothing for our hopes and dreams. It moves inexorably forward. There's nothing we can do to change that.  But we CAN control HOW we use our time. And that's really good news. What's remarkable, though, is how few of us fully embrace that opportunity. In fact, this has been one of the fiercest battles of adulthood for me–the battle to assume full responsibility for how I use my time and take hold of the freedom and power that we get in return. The battle is ongoing, but there's good evidence that the tide of battle is turning in my favor.  It's not easy, but it is worth it. So choose your hard: Put in the hard work day by day right now to take full responsibility for how you use your time, or deal with the bitterly hard consequences of failing to do so after it's too late.  TODAY is the day, ladies and gents. There is no Tomorrow.  Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   I Can Help You CAN take full responsibility for how you spend your time. But you don't have to do it alone. I can help.  Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me. Go here to learn more about the Graveyard Group, visit digdeepwinbig.com/thegraveyardgroup.  I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 016 | The Question That Changes Everything: The Go-to Tool for Living the Life You Were Made to Live Ep. 053 | No Time Like the Present: A Simple Tool for Giving the Things that Matter Most the Attention They Deserve Ep. 058 | How to Make the Most of Today: A Simple Framework

What place do rites of passage have in your life?  In this episode, my special guest is MY coach Amy Musson, and we explore why rites of passage matter and the surprisingly harmful consequences of neglecting them. It turns out that there's more at stake than you might have thought--if you've ever given rites of passage much thought at all.  If you haven't given them much thought, then you're not alone. I think most of us in the materially affluent Western world today have largely neglected meaningful rites of passage. Emphasis on "materially affluent," by the way, because, as Amy and I discuss in this conversation, we affluent Westerners are perhaps quite impoverished in other less tangible but vitally important areas.    An Episode is Born I hadn't given rites of passage much thought until recently, as my oldest son approached his 13th year. Then, a couple months ago, Amy and I had a coaching conversation that led us to stumble upon the importance of rites of passage in a fresh way that had immediate value for both of us. It's out of that coaching conversation that the idea for today's episode was born.  That's one of the things that I love about coaching conversations: At their core, they are creative exchanges that generate fresh insight and create new depths of understanding. And that's what I invite you into today--a very candid continuation of a creative exchange about rites of passage that Amy and I began a couple months ago. A creative exchange that made an impact in both of our lives. I hope it will spark your own curiosity and creativity around rites of passage and make an impact in your life, too.    Introducing MY Coach, Amy Musson Amy and I met almost two years ago when we were both members of an online forum created by Ozan Varol, an author I've mentioned in previous episodes whose book, Think Like a Rocket Scientist, entered my life at just the right time--as books can do. Long-story-short, Amy and I recognized that we each had something to offer the other, and we struck up a peer coaching partnership that's been going strong ever since. We alternate coaching each other on a weekly basis. Our partnership has been one of the most influential and transformative I've ever experienced, personally AND professionally. Amy is an innately gifted coach, with vast amounts of training, experience, and wisdom to boot, and an ever-evolving array of offerings. In fact, it was one of those offerings–her podcast, The Growth Moment–that triggered a revelation for me about unexpressed grief and led to newfound freedom. I'll include details about how to connect with Amy in the shownotes for this episode.    Highlights From This Conversation Amy's own recent successful experience with a rite of passage for her son and her painful missed opportunity with her dad What happens when we fail to observe rites of passage How rites of passage set us free to be all that we can be The surprising connection between the First Law of Thermodynamics, rites of passage, and our development as humans And more…   Making It Matter In YOUR Life Where in your life have transformational moments become merely transactional? Where in your life have you sterilized that which should be ritualized? What parts of you are developmentally delayed because a rite of passage was either neglected or mishandled in the past? How could a rite of passage help you acknowledge and catalyze a transition you're currently experiencing? How could a rite of passage help one of your kids transition well from one stage to the next?  In my own case, I'm aware that a mid-life rite of passage might be in order. There's much simmering beneath the surface that needs expression or transformation, I think--maybe some of that trapped energy that Amy brought up. I want to embrace my stage of life even more fully and move forward with guts, gusto, and abandon, but I think in some ways I'm still mourning what I'm leaving behind. I wonder if I'm stuck emotionally and developmentally and if a rite of passage could help. I don't have a clear next step yet, but it's on my heart and mind. And frankly, on the one hand it feels easier to just keep trudging ahead without giving this any attention. On the other hand, though, I don't think that's the best way forward if I want to move into the next stage of my life with as much freedom, guts, gusto, and abandon as possible.   That's me. What about you?  Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   I Can Help  Are you feeling stuck or need help making a transition in life? Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Connect with Amy Email | Website | Podcast | Instagram | LinkedIn    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, Try These, Too Ep. 031 | How's the Conversation Going? Improving Your Most Important Relationships One Conversation at a Time Ep. 053 | No Time Like the Present: A Simple Tool for Giving the Things that Matter Most the Attention They Deserve Ep. 058 | How to Make the Most of Today: A Simple Framework

"If I've learned anything in the last three years, it's that life and death are so much bigger than us. You embraced life and love with all your amazing energy, which still reverberates. You are still with us on walks in the forest, on windy ridges, in a sunlit moment after the rain, in the love, laughter, and music of your friends and family. You are there in dreams that seem more real than waking moments. Everyday I think of you on your timeless flight. I love you with all my heart, and miss you more than words can say." Michelle Kuipers wrote this heartrending caption for an Instagram post on March 5, 2021--the third anniversary of the death of her son, Marc-Andre' Leclerc, who died in 2018 descending the Mendenhall Towers in Alaska with his climbing partner, Ryan Johnson. Marc-Andre's life is the subject of the acclaimed 2021 documentary, The Alpinist, currently available on Netflix. Michelle also appeared in the film.    Life-Changing Marc-Andre's story changed my life--or maybe more accurately, IS changing my life. And I know I'm not alone. Michelle's instagram feed is full of messages from people saying the very same thing. For the first few days after watching The Alpinist, I was unsettled and on edge, stirred up and ansty, aware that Marc-André's story had awakened something deep within me--something that I wasn't yet able to identify or articulate but wouldn't leave me alone. Something that needed attention.  Which is odd on the one hand, because although I do love being out in nature's wild places, I've never aspired to anything like the kind of audacious adventures that Marc-André undertook. I'm not an alpinist, as he was, or even a climber. But the fact that his story is changing my life nonetheless, as different as we are and as different as our stories are, reveals that The Alpinist is ultimately not a story about remarkable feats in the alpine environment. It's not a climbing movie, merely. It's a story about hearing and heeding our unique calling in life--wholeheartedly and unapologetically and without self-conscious concern for its relative value or utility in the world. It's a story about being ourselves--being the one and only me, the one and only you, with guts, gusto, and abandon. It's a story about how writing a great story with our life can change other people's lives.  And that's the gift of Marc-André's story in my life--the exhortation and admonition to be ME. That's what was awakened within me and demanded attention when I first watched The Alpinist. Even though I've been on a journey to become who I was made to be for many years now, and as a coach I help others on the same journey, my reaction to The Alpinist showed me that I was still wrestling deep in my heart with whether it was ok or enough. Marc-André's story brought that internal conflict to the surface and gave me the confidence to put my doubts to rest.    From Michelle's Perspective Perhaps the most important sub-plot in The Alpinist is the relationship between Marc-André and his mom. That part of the storyline absolutely captivated me. How had Michelle summoned the courage and the wisdom to help Marc André discover and pursue such an audacious calling? How had she helped Marc-André become who he was made to be? I wanted to know more.  So I reached out to Michelle on Instagram from out of the blue, and long-story-short, much to my surprise and pleasure, Michelle agreed to be on the show.  In this exclusive conversation, Michelle and I dig deeper into the story, exploring questions like: What did the documentary leave out? How did Michelle cope with worry when Marc-Andrè was out on a solo climb? What was Marc-André's philosophy of life? And how does Michelle live differently because of her son's life and tragic death?  And Michelle's account of Marc-André's first climbing experience will surprise you.  This episode is also a paradigm-shifting masterclass in how to live sovereign, empowered, and purposeful lives. It's a goldmine.  If you enjoyed The Alpinist, you'll love getting to know Marc-André even better through Michelle's eyes. And, you'll be equipped with wisdom and insight for your own life from a remarkable woman. We recorded this episode on March 10, coincidentally the 4th anniversary of the day Michelle returned from Alaska without Marc-André, after the effort to recover his body at the base of the Mendenhall Towers had been abandoned. I feel extremely fortunate to have spent time with Michelle, on a day fraught with so many emotions, to celebrate, honor, and learn from a remarkable man and his remarkable mom.    Highlights From This Conversation 5 key insights stick out to me from this conversation that help us understand HOW to be our true selves: First, our Story and our Purpose in the world are inseparable. Marc-André's family's lack of financial resources in his early years was a constraint that inspired creativity in their family and "activated" Marc-André's imagination and thirst for adventure. In what ways does your Story point to your true calling? Next, to be our true selves, we have to determine what we really want. Michelle's conversation with Marc-André after graduation created an environment within which Marc-Andrè was able to acknowledge what he really wanted and go for it. What do you really want? If you don't know, what's in the way? If you haven't already, tune in to Ep. 055, What Do You Want: A Path to Purpose and Fulfillment, with Chris Slota, for a real-world case study in how to determine what we want.  Next, when we find things that align with the kind of human we are, the naturally-occurring collateral benefits are dedication, discipline, sacrifice, and ultimately, proficiency and mastery. Marc-Andrè applied himself to alpinism with a focus and determination far beyond anything he'd been able to muster in any other area of his life. What naturally brings out dedication, discipline, and sacrifice in your life? Whatever it is, it's very likely a key to who you were made to be. Next, be willing to put in the work to get what you want. Marc-Andrè spent countless thousands of hours becoming the boldest alpinist of his generation--perhaps the boldest of any generation so far. What calls to you so strongly that you're willing to put in the work required to get it? Finally, try different things in life, and be willing to acknowledge what fits you and what doesn't, regardless of the prevailing cultural and social norms. Michelle was a keen and attentive observer of the kind of human her son was, and she encouraged him to shut out prevailing cultural and social norms in order to tune in more closely to what he liked and didn't like. What are you giving time and energy to largely because of prevailing norms? What would you begin to give more time and energy to if those prevailing norms weren't present?  Tune in to the full episode to learn 5 tenets of Marc-Andrè's philosophy of life–the same philosophy that propelled him to such astounding heights in the mountains and allowed him to become the person he was made to be.    One Story…A Million Different Meanings The wonderfully mysterious thing about sharing someone's story is that the same story can mean a million different things to as many different people. Other people's stories come alongside our story, so to speak, and serve as a mirror of sorts--a mirror that allows us to see ourselves more clearly than we otherwise would have. We often find comfort, confirmation, inspiration, AND challenge in the image reflected back to us. Comfort that we're not alone, confirmation of choices we've made, inspiration to aspire to new heights, and sometimes, a challenge to forsake old, unproductive ways and embrace new, life-giving ones. So I'm encouraged by the certain knowledge that Michelle's and Marc-André's stories are working their magic in the hearts and minds of all who listen to this episode…   But Don't Miss This… …AND, if I were to pick one thing that I hope EVERYONE gets from this episode, it's the courage to be YOU, the one and only you. To hear and heed whatever is calling to you--wholeheartedly, unapologetically, and without self-conscious concern for its relative value or utility in the world. We CAN'T know what the ultimate value of the pursuit of our calling will be. Marc-André certainly couldn't have known how many lives his story would change. He didn't set out to change lives; he simply responded to the call in his heart the best he knew how. And it turns out that his best was none other than the best-ever. And, it turns out that his example is inspiring people like you and me to be who we were uniquely made to be, with guts, gusto, and abandon.  Ladies and gents, consider the riches available when we persist in becoming our true selves. And consider the costs of not doing so.  Here's to becoming who we were each uniquely made to be!  Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So follow Marc-André's example, and get after it!   Making It Matter In YOUR Life What stuck with YOU from this episode? Message me on Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me. And if you're new to this show, welcome! I invite you to browse the archive of past interviews with fascinating people and short, topical solo episodes--all designed to equip you with the mindset and the means to become the person you were made to be and live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. We flip the script by inviting our ancient foe, Death, to become an unlikely ally in our heroic journey to leave it all out on the field of life. Turns out, Mortality might just be the best motivator available--blasting us out of our ambivalence and complacency and toward the fullness of our potential. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Connect with Michelle Email | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 003 | How to Turn Your Imperfections Into Superpowers: The Key to Unlocking Your Unique Purpose Ep. 005 | How to Become the Boss of Your Fear: Bravery-building to Live With More Guts and Gusto Ep. 016 | ​​The Question That Changes Everything: The Go-to Tool for Living the Life You Were Made to Live

How do we make the most of today? This episode is short and sweet, banged out somewhat hastily during the current season of curveballs I mentioned in the previous episode–but banged out with love and goodwill toward you, my fellow traveler along life's winding path, you who are waking up to the reality of your Mortality and courageously embracing it to live with guts, gusto, and abandon.  So today I'm gonna give you what I've got and pray that it reaches the hearts of those who need it most. And what I've got is a simple framework for making the most of today–the only day you''ve got. Plus, a preview of an upcoming episode that I'm super-excited to share with you.    A Simple Framework to Make the Most of Today Here's a simple but powerful framework for making the most of today–and every day that you're fortunate to be granted in the future: First, pause, breathe, and acknowledge the MIRACLE of today! Countless thousands had to successfully reproduce over the millenia in order for you to even exist. The chances of you existing right now in this moment are slim to none. Your heart has beat faithfully without interruption every second of every minute of every hour of every day to bring you to this moment. Just think about that. Put your hand over your heart and feel its strong, rhythmic pulsation. Thank it for its many years of service so far. And if you're able to listen to this episode, then you almost certainly have a comfortable place to call home, a way to provide for your needs, freedom to choose how you spend your time, plenty of food, clean water, and the ability to improve your situation in life if you choose to. These factors alone put you among the very most fortunate people on the planet.  Next, acknowledge that as a sovereign, free, fully-responsible member of the human race, you've been granted the superpower of Choice. Do you really believe that? Even in situations where much is outside of our control, we always still have the freedom to choose our response. In this freedom to choose lies our Dignity and our ability to craft our Destiny. Today, the only day you've got, you get to choose who you are and who you're becoming. If some of your past choices haven't served you well, then today you get another chance to make different choices. Every day truly is a NEW day. In fact, today could be THE day that you look back on and realize with deep pride and satisfaction that you began to do your part to change things for the better. Today is yours to do with as you please.  Then, acknowledging the miraculous gift of this one day–the only day you've got, fully owning your superpower of Choice amidst life's many competing demands and priorities, and in light of what matters most to you, decide what would make today a rewarding day and determine to prioritize that thing above all others. For example, maybe you've lost touch with an old friend and realize that you'd regret it if that remained the case. Determine, then, to reach out to that friend before the day is over. Or maybe you've been putting off a difficult conversation with your boss–the conversation that you know needs to be had in order for you to be with your family more. Resolve to do your part to have that conversation today. In my case, today I resolved to get another video call scheduled with my mom, dad, and sister–something I've decided is important to me in this stage of life when, frankly, it's easier to drift apart than it is to grow closer.  What will you choose to prioritize over everything else in order to make today a rewarding day? In order to live with guts, gusto, and abandon?   To Sum Up… There you have it–a simple framework for making the most of today: First, acknowledge the miracle of Today.  Next, fully own your superpower of Choice.  Finally, decide what would make today a rewarding day and determine to prioritize that thing above all others. You can deploy this framework each new day in a matter of minutes, but its impact will far exceed your investment of time and energy.  In this way, day after day, you'll make the most of your days. And as you go, you'll grow in wisdom and understanding about what makes a great day for you.  Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   Exclusive Preview | The Making of The Alpinist's Marc-Andre' Leclerc, on Andrew Petty is Dying I'm super-excited to share with you that on Mother's Day, Sunday, May 8, I'll air an exclusive interview with Michelle Kuipers, Marc-André Leclerc's mom. Leclerc's life is the subject of the acclaimed 2021 documentary, The Alpinist, currently available on Netflix. Marc-Andre's story had a huge impact on my life, and I was absolutely pumped when Michelle agreed to be on the show. If you haven't watched The Alpinist yet, I wholeheartedly recommend it, and ideally, watch it before you tune into this episode.  This episode answers many questions that The Alpinist left unanswered and dives deeper into questions you may not have thought to consider, including: What did the documentary leave out? How did Michelle summon the wisdom and the courage to help Marc André discover and pursue such an audacious calling? What does it mean to “live like Marc-André?” How does Michelle live differently because of her son's life and tragic death? And Michelle's account of Marc André's very first climbing experience will surprise you. For all of you parents out there, this exclusive conversation is also a paradigm-shifting masterclass in how to raise sovereign, empowered, and purposeful adults.  If you enjoyed The Alpinist, you'll love getting to know Marc-André even better through his mom's eyes. And, you'll be equipped with wisdom and insight for your own life from a remarkable woman. Alright, that's a wrap for today, folks. What stuck with you?  I'd love to know. Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.  I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 014 | Dare to Dream Again: The Antidote to a Mediocre Life Ep. 016 | The Question That Changes Everything: The Go-to Tool for Living the Life You Were Made to Live Ep. 019 | The Cockpit is Yours: From Passenger to Pilot Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise

What do we do when life throws us a curveball?  On this podcast, we're equipping ourselves with the mindset and the means to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. Growing in our ability to respond to life's inevitable curveballs requires both evolving our mindset and upgrading our means. And as we get better at responding to life's curveballs, we increase our capacity to live with even more guts, gusto, and abandon.  In this episode, I'll draw from my own recent experience to share with you what I'm learning in real-time about what to do when life throws us a curveball.    A Season of Curveballs It's been a weird start to the year for the Petty family. A season of curveballs, really.  Shortly after Christmas, I cracked a wisdom tooth and had to have it pulled, and then all four of us did our second lap around the block with COVID. In early February, my wife, Charis, suffered a concussion from a fall skiing and was sidelined from life and work for the better part of two weeks. Then, in early March, Charis was sidelined again, this time with excruciating back spasms that came seemingly from out of nowhere. It was Charis' turn yet again in early April, this time with agonizing neck spasms–an episode from which she's still recovering as of this episode's air date. It was horrible to see her in so much pain and not be able to do anything about it.  Then, I summoned the courage to schedule a routine annual check-up with my doctor.  “Summon the courage?” you might very reasonably question. For many, if not most, of you, scheduling a routine check-up isn't a matter of courage but more just a matter of not forgetting to do it. For me, though, the flavor of Anxiety that I can experience around health stuff tempts me to avoid stuff like annual exams because ignorance is bliss, right? Until unavoidable reality shatters that blissful ignorance, of course. So, after a couple years of negligence, I heeded Jordan Peterson's admonition to “treat myself like someone I'm responsible for helping,” grabbed myself by the scruff of the neck, and dragged myself off to the doctor. The Mortality Mindset motivated me here, too, calling me out of the shadows of avoidance and denial and into the light of prudence and reality.  As my doctor walked through the results of my bloodwork with me just a few days ago, I was pleased that so many indicators were positive–much more positive than I'd expected, in fact, or had been the case in previous years. Then, my doctor got to the final result, and his demeanor changed slightly but perceptibly. “Was this a fasting lab?” he asked. “Yes,” I answered. “Why?”   The Latest Curveball Long-story-short, after another blood draw, it turns out that I'm borderline diabetic. At least, that's what I think the result means. I have a follow-up conversation scheduled with the doctor.  To the degree that the title of this podcast was ever merely theoretical or academic to me, this new development made it a whole lot more real and more personal. An actual medical result related to an actual disease that ranks among the top 10 leading causes of death globally.  Curveball.  I've sat with this news over the past few days–aware of a growing heaviness. Becoming aware of the long-term lifestyle implications of a chronic condition. Aware of another reminder of the loss of youth. Perhaps even beginning to grieve a little bit. Aware too that my grief may be very premature because there's still a lot that I don't know. It's been a bit of a roller coaster. I'm still in the awkward early stages of understanding my situation. Whatever my situation truly is, though, it is at least the latest in a series of curveballs.  Which brings us to the question that's at the heart of what we're exploring today: “What do we do when life throws us a curveball?”   What to Do When Life Throws Us a Curveball I'm not going to subject you to what would undoubtedly be a painful attempt to expand the curveball metaphor beyond its useful limits. But I do want to share with you what I'm learning about what to do when life throws us a curveball and how I'm attempting to respond to our current season of curveballs. There's a LOT that could be said about this–maybe even much more that should be said–but I've tried to narrow it down to the essentials to keep it as simple and actionable as possible. Think of what I'm about to share as points on a compass–a compass specially designed to help us navigate our way through life's many challenges even more effectively so we can live with even more guts, gusto, and abandon.  Before I add or mix any more metaphors, we'd better go ahead and jump right in.   When life throws you a curveball… First, summon the courage to acknowledge Reality. It's astonishing how hard this one can really be. In response to something unwanted or unwelcome, especially of the more catastrophic sort, our deep-seated denial mechanisms spring into action. We can even experience a sort of dissociation. This may in some ways be inevitable and unavoidable and even necessary from a psychological survival standpoint. But we do ourselves and others a favor the quicker we are able to acknowledge the new Reality to ourselves and, I suggest, to a few trusted others. Be mindful neither to minimize nor catastrophize, and it will likely require the more objective input of others in order to avoid either extreme.  Acknowledging reality also means allowing yourself to experience the emotions that accompany it, whatever they may be. Attempting to manhandle your emotions into some sort of artificial or premature compliance only drags things out and compounds the impact of the curveball. Be as honest as you know how to be about how you're really feeling. This establishes an emotional starting point from which you can chart a course forward. But until you've established that starting point, very little productive forward movement is possible.  I don't think, however, that acknowledging Reality is the same as accepting Reality–at least not in the early stages. I've acknowledged the Reality that something's wonky with my blood sugar. I've given myself permission to experience the emotions that are presenting themselves. But I'm also well aware that I don't know enough nor have I lived long enough with the implications of this new Reality to have accepted it. Acceptance will come, but I'm not asking that of myself yet.  I've found the Mortality Mindset really useful in my own efforts to acknowledge Reality. Armed with the conscious awareness of my Mortality, I'm more powerfully motivated to experience Life as it IS rather than attempt to escape into wishful thinking and fantasy. The sooner I can embrace what IS, the sooner I can get on with living–even if that living has been substantially altered by the curveball.  The next thing to do when life throws you a curveball is what I'll call “triage and adjust.”  Triage is a term most commonly encountered in emergency medical situations. In case you're unfamiliar with it, triage basically means determining the order in which injured or ill people will receive care, with those most in need of it receiving care first.  In the case of a curveball, after acknowledging the new Reality, it's time to conduct our own triage assessment of the situation and adjust accordingly. When Charis' spasms were at their worst, she was really completely out of commission. My triage assessment led me to prioritize Charis' and my wellbeing first–the whole airplane oxygen mask idea, then our boys' wellbeing, then work and other obligations. The assessment helped me determine how to allocate my time, energy, and other resources in response to the curveball.  Maybe that seems like a Captain Obvious assessment. But what I can be tempted to do, and I bet some of you can relate, is to try to keep up my pre-curveball levels of productivity and performance even after a curveball has crossed the plate. When curveballs arrive, it's not business as usual. So don't try to act like it is. It's time to triage and adjust. It's time to work WITH the new Reality rather than resist it so you can move through it more effectively.  This episode is actually the result of working WITH the new Reality rather than resisting it. As my production deadline approached, I had nothing. In fact, I had never been so close to my production deadline with nothing already in the works. But, I relaxed and reminded myself that I could trust myself to get it done. The idea and the inspiration would come. Sure enough, the first flicker of an idea popped up when my wife and I were driving to my son's track meet, and she suggested the curveball theme. That led me to begin considering how I had been approaching our season of curveballs and how I could formulate that in a way that might be useful to others. My acknowledgement of our Reality and the subsequent triage and adjustments had led to a super-tight production window. It wasn't business as usual, so I hadn't tried to act like it was. And when I stayed open to working WITH the new Reality, IT ended up working with ME. The final thing to do when life throws you a curveball is get back on the offensive.  Curveballs put us back on our heels–reactive, defensive, reeling a bit. But once we've summoned the courage to acknowledge Reality, triaged, and adjusted, it's time to get back on the offensive. Two questions can help us do that and avoid falling into a passive, victimy mindset: First, what am I able to influence or control in this situation that could improve the situation? Whatever your answer is, do that thing. Maybe you can enlist the help of a medical professional or call upon a friend to watch your kids for a bit. Maybe it's time to cancel some commitments in order to make room for the new Reality. Whatever you can do to improve the situation, take responsibility for doing it.  Next, in what other areas of my life can I continue to advance? It may be that not much about the curveball is within your ability to influence or control. But there are ALWAYS other areas in our lives where we can exert influence or some measure of control and advance. Finding those areas and determining to take Action in them is a powerful way to stay on the offensive in life, even if a curveball has changed life as you knew it.    Landing the Plane Curveballs in life are inevitable. It's not a matter of IF life will throw you one; it's simply a matter of when and what it will be.  Improving our response to life's curveballs, then, is an essential part of living with even more guts, gusto, and abandon. This episode has helped equip us with the mindset and the means to respond to curveballs more effectively.  When life throws us a curveball: First, summon the courage to acknowledge the new Reality.  Next, triage and adjust.  And finally, get back on the offensive.  And through it all, as you try with all your might to respond even more effectively to life's curveballs, shower heaping portions of grace and patience on yourself. You're a wonderful, remarkable, unique, and imperfect human. Value progress over perfection.  Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So keep getting after it–even if getting after it looks a little different than it used to because life threw you one of its inevitable curveballs. Sometimes, different is better, and sometimes, different is beautiful. And sometimes, as Carl Jung said, “That which you most need will be found where you least want to look.”   What about You? How do you respond to life's curveballs? I'd love to know.  Message me on on Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 005 | How to Become the Boss of Your Fear: Bravery-building to Live With More Guts and Gusto Ep. 012 | How to Harness the Winds of Discomfort to Get Where You Want to Go: Becoming a Seasoned Sailor on the Seas of Life Ep. 050 | Seize the Offensive: An Antidote to Fear, Dread, and Timid Living

What is your relationship with Death?  It may seem like an odd question, but your answer to it has everything to do with your quality of life. My guest on this episode shares actionable insight into this relationship so that we can optimize our quality of life.    Introducing Dr. Frederic Tate Dr. Frederic Tate is a fascinating human with a perspective on Life and Death forged in the crucible of end-of-life care. A trusted friend connected us, so I knew Frederic was someone I should get to know. And I took an immediate shine to him from afar when I learned that he grew up in the Appalachian Mountains like I did. It's been a pleasure getting to know him, and it's a pleasure to share his wisdom with you today.  Frederic's wisdom is backed by tons of credibility. He holds undergraduate degrees in art and psychology, completed his doctorate at Southern Illinois University, and holds a clinical affiliation in art therapy. Frederic published articles on the topic of death and dying and was fortunate to study under the tutelage of internationally-renowned psychiatrist and authority on death and dying, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. He was also one of the founders of Jack's House, the first hospice specifically for gay men with HIV/AIDS on the East coast.  For 36 years, Frederic worked at Eastern State Hospital in Williamsburg, VA--established in colonial times as the nation's first public hospital. At Eastern State, he worked with inpatient, adult males with serious mental illness. In addition, he has served as adjunct faculty at The College of William and Mary and Eastern Virginia Medical School in Norfolk, lecturing on hospice and palliative care. Today, Frederic is happily retired. He volunteers in hospice and at a local food pantry. He's an avid biker, hiker, kayaker, and international traveler. When he's not out in nature, he can be found at home reading, painting, or slaughtering the classics on his baby grand piano.    Some Highlights from This Conversation The surprising connection between the denial of Death and violence and strife in our culture The importance of tending to our “inner work,” especially our relationship with Death and dying The importance of symbols of Death and the individual and cultural cost of their absence Why Halloween and The Day of the Dead are among the most important holidays How “tasks of grieving” has replaced the 5 Stages of Grief that many of us are familiar with One way that our “civilized” culture would benefit from becoming “uncivilized” How to upgrade your relationship with Death And more…   Making It Matter in Your Life Let's circle back to the question we started this episode with, but now equipped with the benefit of the conversation you just heard:  "What is your relationship with Death?"  I hope by now you're more persuaded that we all, in fact, have a relationship with Death--even if until now it's been largely an unconscious or subconscious one. And I hope, too, that you're more persuaded of the immense practical importance of understanding your personal relationship with Death and evolving it wherever it's inadequate or working against you.   If you're not persuaded yet, what's missing? What reservations or doubts need resolution?  If you are persuaded, at least sufficiently so, then what's a next step for you in evolving your relationship with Death so that it can improve your quality of life even more? Maybe, as Frederic suggested, it's time to read more on the topic. Maybe it's time to introduce concrete symbols of Death into your Life. Maybe Halloween takes on a different significance for you this year.  Whatever you decide your next step is, don't delay. Take even more responsibility for your quality of life, and take that step today.  Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   I Can Help Want support evolving your relationship with Death and improving your quality of life? I can help.  Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Books & Authors Recommended by Frederic The Only  Dance There Is (Ram Dass) The Road Less Traveled (M. Scott Peck, M.D.) On Death and Dying (Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D.)   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 001 | You're Dying: How to Make the Most of It Ep. 018 | Life's 3 Big Questions: A Conversation with the Coroner   Connect with Frederic: Email   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher

What do you want?  It's a simple enough question at face value, but it can be far from easy to answer. Many of us have never truly tried to answer it. Many of us have never been aware that it was important to do so. And many of us are a lot better at knowing what we DON'T want.  Failing to answer this question can lead to surprisingly harmful consequences--but answering it can put us on a path to unprecedented purpose and fulfillment.  Don't just take my word for it, though. In this episode, my guest, Chris Slota, gives us unfiltered access to the remarkable personal transformation he's experienced over the past couple of years--a transformation he owes in large part to his determination to begin figuring out what he wants in life. Listening back to our conversation, I was amazed to hear how many other timeless principles for living a life of purpose and fulfillment are embedded in Chris' story, too. This episode is a veritable cornucopia of practical wisdom for all of us.    Introducing Chris Slota I met Chris and his wife, Veronica, at a dinner party almost three years ago. Not long after that, Chris became a member of one of my Graveyard Groups. Chris shares more about that whole progression and its significance in the conversation that you're about to hear.  Chris hails originally from Ohio, but he's called our little mountain town of Steamboat Springs home since 2008, and like most of us here in Steamboat, he's never looked back.    Highlights from this Episode Here are a few of the key points and themes from this conversation: The importance of knowing what you do want instead of simply what you don't want: “It's hard to walk a path of places you don't want to go.” How the Victim mentality gets in the way of knowing what you want To see, you have to open your eyes: How “opening his eyes” allowed Chris to see opportunities he wanted to pursue. How Chris opened his eyes (you can do it, too!) Finding your “why” Staying focused on the “What” more than the “How” Choosing your stress A handful of bullets can't begin to do justice to the depth of this conversation and its value for any of us wanting to find a new way forward. This episode is practically a how-to. Tune in to the full episode for the full effect.    Making it Matter in YOUR Life An overarching theme in Chris' story is personal responsibility. Chris assumed more complete responsibility for himself by securing resources to help him find an even better way forward when he realized that his current situation wasn't satisfactory. In Chris' case, The Graveyard Group became a key ingredient in his recipe for transformation. That one simple step--proactively investing in himself with a small group of other men--paved the way for all that was to come. It created the fertile soil out of which pivotal insights would emerge--especially his awareness that he was much better at knowing what he DIDN't want than what he DID want. Those insights led to concrete action in the real world. And those actions created transformation.  Insight + Action = Transformation.  Pause for a moment and ask yourself: Where in my life am I more of a passive bystander than an active participant? Where am I failing to take complete responsibility for myself?  Whatever you come up with...Are you willing to take a page out of Chris' playbook, and do something about it? Tomorrow never comes, folks; there's only Today. What are you waiting for? Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   Learn More about The Graveyard Group To learn more about The Graveyard Group, visit digdeepwinbig.com/thegraveyardgroup, message me on on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, or email me. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Connect with Chris Email | Instagram | Twitter | Website    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 019 | The Cockpit is Yours: From Passenger to Pilot Ep. 021 | Sometimes, the Grass IS Greener: How a Familiar Bit of Conventional Wisdom Could be Holding You Back from the Life You Were Made to Live Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise

It's one thing to encounter Mortality unexpectedly. It's quite another thing to voluntarily put yourself in situations where encounters with Mortality are around every corner. Yet that's what my guest on this episode does often--and with jaw-dropping results. What he's learned in his years of exploring the edges of human ability will inspire you to live with more guts, gusto, and abandon than ever before--to live life in full color.    Meet Doug Tumminello, Extreme Adventurer Doug Tumminello is an attorney by trade and a world-class adventurer at heart. His exploits include successful summits of 4 iconic mountains--including Everest and Denali, a Guinness-World-Record-setting team crossing of the Indian Ocean in a rowboat, a solo attempt to traverse the South Pole, and a plethora of other feats of endurance and perseverance like the Leadville Trail 100 Ultramarathon.    A Defining Mortality Moment Several years into a lucrative but all-consuming law career–at one point, Doug logged 11 months straight without a single day off–Doug got word that a friend had died in a climbing accident. Doug had fallen in love with climbing in college but put it aside once he started a family and kicked off his career. But his friend's death forced Doug to pause and reflect: "What am I doing?" I'm spending my life in this job, which I enjoy, but it's taking up all my time, all my efforts, all my energy, and I'm abandoning those things that I really love, being out in the wild and in nature. And [I] decided at that point, that I was going to get back to doing those things I really loved to do in the outdoors. And the [day after the memorial service], had started planning for an expedition to Denali.” And so an unexpected encounter with Mortality prompted Doug to begin pursuing adventures that voluntarily expose him to Mortality around every corner. He's never looked back.   Highlights from This Episode We cover a lot of rich territory in this conversation, including: The importance of responding to your heart's call and the costs of not doing so How to find the thing you're intended to do Embracing your mortality and organizing your life accordingly The “scary simple” way to break free of the gravitational pull of the status quo The importance of getting in touch with mystery Dispelling the illusion of safety and security Bold vs. timid living The thing that's worse than dying Which matters more, the journey or the destination?  Tune in to the full episode for the full impact of this conversation. I know it's made an impact on me. I'm chewing on what big adventure I might create for myself to tap into some of what Doug has learned through his experiences.    Making it Matter in YOUR Life Doug's extreme adventures have taught him about the riches available to us when we listen to the call of our heart and following it wherever it leads us. The bigger, the better. The more profound, the better. We go further, see more, do more, and understand more when we respond to your heart's call than we ever would otherwise--even if we don't fully achieve the thing that you set out to do. We'll live life in full color rather than a diminished life in the grays and in the shadows--deluded by a false sense of safety and security.  I want that full-color kind of life. What about you?  What call of your heart are you suppressing, shrinking away from in fear, or stalled out on because the many overwhelming "hows" are distracting you from the more important "what?" Maybe you can't yet hear the call of your heart because it's drowned out by the white noise of day-to-day living. Maybe it's time for some solitude, reflection, and contemplation so your heart's call can begin to make itself known.  What's your heart telling you right now? Whatever it is...do that thing.  Remember: You ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   Let's Connect What stuck with you from this episode?   Message me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.  I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Connect with Doug Email | Facebook | LinkedIn    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 011 | Embracing Mystery, When to Call It a Day, and What Matters Most: Lessons from an Astonishing Life-After-Death Story Ep. 016 | The Question That Changes Everything: The Go-to Tool for Living the Life You Were Made to Live Check out Endurance: Shackleton's Incredible Voyage (Alfred Lansing), the book Doug mentioned in this episode.

Are you giving the things that matter most the attention they deserve? On this podcast, I try to equip us all with the mindset and the means to live with even more guts, gusto, and abandon. Today's episode emphasizes means more than mindset and gives you a simple tool that will help you outsmart the part of you that, for whatever reason, may be dragging its feet on something that you know is important but you're finding hard to do. With consistent use over time, this tool will help you give the things that matter most the attention they deserve.    A New Frontier It was a crisp fall day, and my client and I were strolling along the path next to the river as we often did, engrossed in conversation. On this occasion, my client–who I'll call Lisa–was working hard to get herself over the starting line of a project that was very dear to her heart but involved an unprecedented level of personal vulnerability. She was about to take her first steps into a new personal and professional frontier, so to speak. She had already established sufficient conviction that she wanted to explore that frontier. She was committed in her head and in her heart. Now, she was faced with the daunting challenge of actually entering the frontier that until this point she had only gazed at from afar. All of the hard personal work she'd done to this point now hinged on her ability to commit to real action in the real world–a step that would almost immediately begin to give her real-world feedback about the actual value of her project compared to the value she hoped it had.    Maybe You Can Relate? Some of you can relate to this experience–the moment when you're about to present your metaphorical baby to the world for the first time, hoping that the world will like it, deathly afraid that they won't.  Complicating things for Lisa was the fact that she didn't have to undertake this project, strictly speaking. She didn't HAVE to present this baby to the world. No one would know if she didn't. No lives were at stake–at least not in any obvious or direct way. Lisa was voluntarily entering a new personal and professional frontier, with all of the unknowns that it contained, because she had come to realize deep in her heart that even though no one was watching, she had to do it. It was clear to her that it was somehow part of what she was made to do in the world. So she was choosing to forge ahead because she had resolved that the cost to her of NOT doing so was higher than the cost of doing it and failing. For Lisa, the greater failure was shrinking back in the face of fear and uncertainty and regretting down the road that she didn't respond to the call in her heart.  Some of you can relate to that cost / benefit arithmetic, too. Maybe somewhere in the recent or distant past, you faced a similar moment of truth and stopped short of entering a new frontier. And you have the regret to show for it. You can even trace a slow decline in your experience of life and your opinion of yourself back to that moment. Or maybe you successfully summoned the courage to move forward, and you have the deep personal satisfaction and real-world consequences from that experience to show for it. Some of the consequences were unequivocally great, some of them were hard–but ALL of them were useful and helped you become the person you are today. You can trace a clear improvement in your experience of life and your opinion of yourself back to that moment.  If we're honest, I think all of us can recall at least one of each of those kinds of moments in our Stories.    Spontaneous Tool Fabrication In Lisa's case, the specific, real-world step that would signify her entrance into her new frontier was setting a start date for the first event in a series to which she would invite others to sign up. And right then and there, in that conversation on that crisp fall day, we fabricated the tool I want to share with you today. I'm not sure why this tool came together in that precise moment, to be honest. But it's one of the collateral benefits of engaging in purposeful, meaningful conversations with someone over time: Every once in a while, something new and significant and unexpected emerges from the fertile soil of the partnership right when it's needed. Something immediately useful and actionable. This was one of those times.  The tool is a simple way to commit yourself to concrete action in the real world when you're on the verge of entering a new frontier but find yourself holding back. We'll call it the “No Time Like the Present” tool–or NTLP. Not a very sexy name. Got any better ideas? While I await your suggestions, here's how to use the NTLP…   How to Use the Tool First, remind yourself that “there's no time like the present.” After all, today is all we've ever got. Tomorrow never comes.  Then, in light of the fact that there's no time like the present, ask yourself, “why not now?” Give this question real consideration. What legitimate factors or variables might make taking action at a different time more advisable? The key word here is “legitimate.” Maybe your target audience will be more available after the upcoming holiday, for example, so waiting to engage them until then makes actual sense. Maybe the person with whom you need to have the hard conversation will be out of town for another week, and an in-person conversation is what's needed. But be on the lookout for factors or variables that you concoct to avoid the discomfort of crossing over the threshold of your new frontier–factors or variables that are figments of Resistance at work within you rather than genuine, real-world obstacles. It can be tricky to distinguish between them–especially when fear is in the mix–so take your time here.  If no legitimate things come to mind, then take that first real-world step into your new frontier right then and there. There's no time like the present! If something legitimate does come up, though, that makes taking action later more advisable, then move on to the third and final step: Ask yourself, “if not now, when?” Set the date and time when or by which you will do the thing that needs to be done. Put it on your calendar to put yourself on the hook.    Back to Lisa's Story… Lisa put this newly-forged tool to good use right then and there and set the start date for her event series. With that decision, she crossed the threshold into her new personal and professional frontier. And that one decision set in motion a string of other decisions and actions that needed attention in order to actually start on the date that she set. Lisa was moving forward and picking up momentum. She was on her way.  Lisa's relief and exhilaration was obvious and immediate as we continued our walk along the river on that crisp fall day. It's like that isn't it–when we haul ourselves over a starting line, sometimes kicking and screaming on the outside, but knowing deep down that it's not only what we truly want, it's also what's best for us. We feel better, and we actually get stronger. We move forward with more purpose and resolve and clarity. We are more the person we were made to be, living more of the life we were made to live.  Lisa ran that first event series, and she learned a lot from the real-world results of that experience that she can plow back into the soil for an even better harvest next time. Some of the lessons were enjoyable, and others were less so. But as we mentioned earlier, ALL of them were useful. Lisa wouldn't have gotten the benefit of those lessons and the internal growth that went along with them if she hadn't used the tool we created together to put herself on the hook.   Now, you can use it, too.    Recap Let's recap. The “No Time Like the Present” tool is a simple way to commit yourself to concrete action in the real world when you're on the verge of entering a new frontier but find yourself holding back. It's a way to help you give the things that matter most the attention they deserve TODAY rather than continuing to wait until the ever-elusive “tomorrow.”  First, remind yourself that there's no time like the present.  Then, ask yourself, “why not now?” If you can't come up with any legitimate reasons to wait, then take action NOW.  If you do come up with a legitimate reason or two, though, then ask yourself, “if not now, when?” And put it on the calendar to put yourself on the hook.  There you have it, the NTLP.  And please…rescue this tool from it's deathly boring acronym. Send me your suggestions! Remember, you ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!   I Want to Know… How will you use the NTLP to give something in your life more of the attention that it deserves?  Message me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You'll Like These, Too Ep. 005 | How to Become the Boss of Your Fear: Bravery-building to Live With More Guts and Gusto Ep. 016 | The Question That Changes Everything: The Go-to Tool for Living the Life You Were Made to Live