Podcasts about how pain

Garza sits down in-person with Long Island, NY hardcore band PAIN OF TRUTH. Catch them on tour now! https://linyhc.com SPONSORS: Sweetwater - https://imp.i114863.net/rnrmVB PAIN OF TRUTH is: Michael Smith - Vocals Nik Hansen - Guitar Ridge Rhine - Guitar Nick Barker - Drums Zach Stachura - Bass CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Meeting at Guitar Center 04:31 - Yoga & Meditation 06:31 - Nik's Motorcycle Injuries 10:15 - New York Hardcore, Childhood Concerts 14:15 - How Pain of Truth Formed 25:46 - Why Michael & Nick Stopped Drinking 35:48 - Energy Drinks, Nicotine & Bad Habits 43:30 - Playing Shows Associated with Drinking & Drugs 45:48 - Writing “Actin' Up” 55:09 - Collaborating with Freddy Madball 57:33 - Biohazard 1:03:56 - Touring with Dying Wish 1:06:07 - Nik's 1st Deathcore Band & 1st Shows 1:09:12 - Dealing With Outside Influence, Staying Grounded & Loyal 1:13:12 - Upcoming Tours & Music 1:14:10 - Today's Hardcore Scene & Audience Crossover 1:19:24 - A Day to Remember

Are you ready to break free from the cycle of stagnation and pursue greatness?    Tap to DOWNLOAD my toolkit: How Pain and Pleasure Can Change Your Results   https://lifestyleengineering.oasisofcourage.com/pleasure   Listen now and get unstuck in your career!   ============================   When you're ready, here are three ways I can help you build your engineering career:   1. Engineering Career Accelerator™️ Scorecard … foundational insights you can check, score, and apply immediately to stand out and excel at work.   2. Join us at Happy Hour … a limited-attendance LIVE monthly workshop where we dig deep into career growth strategies and provide 1:1 open coaching for you at the end of the session.   3. Work with me directly … start with a free chat and ensure it's a great fit, then work with me and my team privately in our intensive coaching program for engineering leaders.   ============================   In this episode, I dive deep into the concept of stagnation in your career journey.    Drawing from a recent coaching session with an engineering manager, Alex, who's feeling stuck in his current role, we explore how the fear of dissatisfaction can hold us back from reaching our full potential. Despite having a good life and career on the surface, he realizes he's not truly fulfilled.    I share insights on how to break free from this cycle by daring to be dissatisfied and embracing the courage to pursue something greater.    Plus, I offer a practical tool, the Pain Pleasure Matrix, to help you refocus your energy towards your desired future.    Don't let fear hold you back any longer—join me as we embark on a journey toward growth and fulfillment.    So press play and let's chat about embracing the courage to pursue greatness! ============================   HAPPY ENGINEER COMMUNITY LINKS:   > Full Show Notes, Resources, & More   > Join our Facebook Group! Get access to bonus content and live coaching as growth-minded leaders build careers together.   ============================   WE GROW BY WORD OF MOUTH   If you have received value from The Happy Engineer Podcast, would you help us pay it forward by SHARING this episode with another engineer?   Hit the SHARE button, or copy the episode URL and paste it into a text message or social media post!   Thank you for helping us grow the show.   ============================   Connect with your host, Zach White:   LinkedIn (primary) Instagram Facebook YouTube  

Emotional immaturity can hinder our ability to form healthy connections and make sound decisions. But is it truly possible to overcome emotional immaturity, even if you've experienced significant developmental setbacks or challenges? Similar to research findings that suggest it's possible to develop more secure functioning or earn a secure attachment style later in life, it's feasible to achieve emotional growth and maturity. In our fifth installment on the topic of emotional immaturity, we uncover practical strategies and insights to foster emotional growth. With a focus on seven key practices, including creating a safe space for growth and honing interpersonal skills, the discussion offers a roadmap for enhancing emotional intelligence. If you find yourself in a relationship with someone exhibiting signs of emotional immaturity, it's crucial to consider revisiting the recommendations outlined in episode 416. Engaging in heartfelt, candid conversations with your partner about the importance of cultivating emotional maturity can pave the way for mutual understanding and growth within the relationship. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 6:48 A recap of the previous episodes on emotional maturity. 9:13 The dynamic nature of emotional maturity highlights its placement on a continuum that allows for growth and development. 14:21 Establishing a safe practice environment. 21:28 Embracing emotional awareness and connection. 26:39 Accepting emotional growth as a continuous process 31:30 Cultivating conscious regulation skills. 36:12 The importance of engaging in honest and uncomfortable conversations 41:44 Taking ownership and accountability within relationships. 45:19 Cultivating interpersonal and relational proficiency. Mentioned Signs of Emotional Immaturity: How to Identify and Support People with Emotional Immaturity Emotions as Honored Guests (article) The Value in Pain and the Pain in Value | Lode Dewulf | TEDxVlerickBusinessSchool ERP 276: Understanding the Need for Both Self-Regulation and Co-regulation in Relationship – An Interview with Deb Dana ERP 261: How to Strengthen Your Relationship from a Polyvagal Perspective – An Interview with Dr. Stephen Porges ERP 140: How Pain and Suffering Increase & What to Do About It ERP 410: What Are the Signs of Emotional Immaturity in Relationship? ERP 411: What Are the Signs of Emotional Immaturity in Relationship? Part Two ERP 413: How Does Emotional Immaturity Develop & the Difference between Emotional Immaturity and Emotional Abuse? Part Three ERP 416: What to Consider If You Are in a Relationship with an Emotionally Immature Person — Part Four Relationship Map To Happy, Lasting Love Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

How Pain is a Great Way to Be Present Pain is something that we all experience in our lives, but it's how we react to the pain that can determine our future. This episode will discuss using pain to your advantage and living a more fulfilling life.  On this episode of the Atomic Business Coaching Podcast, Adam and Tom grapple with the fact that pain is unavoidable - and how, for self-employed business owners, this painful truth can be terrifying. But instead of avoiding the struggle that comes with entrepreneurship, they encourage us to think of it as an opportunity to grow. Painful moments are often where we learn the most; challenges don't come easy because they're meant to help us take the higher ground and reach our goals. With hard work and a little bit of grit, entrepreneurs can look forward to transformation as part of their journey.  "Growth does not happen without growing pains."  Don't miss a chance to see pain as an opportunity! Tune in today.  Follow Atomic Business on social media and visit their website to learn more or to work with them. Instagram: @atomicbusinesscoachingYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@atomiccoachingWebsite: www.atomicbusinesscoaching.comLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/atomic-business-coaching/ The views expressed on air during the Atomic Business Coaching Podcast do not represent the views of RAGE Works staff, partners, or affiliates. 

Many people want to develop something that takes them down a different path than the usual nine-to-five routine. Indeed, the dream of the nomadic lifestyle supported by a podcast represents (to many) the perfect life. But settling on a podcast topic, and one that could be developed into a monetizable business, is always the first obstacle. Is the solution perhaps to share with the world the most challenging, the most sensitive and the most intimate details of your relationship? In this episode, Mike and Eric discuss the pros and cons of this podcast choice and where this could lead. Life with Steph and Dalt is a podcast about the ups and downs of life as a young couple. By sharing their thoughts and life experiences they hope to inspire others to strengthen their relationships through candid discussion.  On No Harm In Asking, hosts Eric Byron and Michael Kerr are on a journey to gather insights into why podcasts succeed or fail and to explore the myriad of different patterns, structures, topics, techniques, and personalities that have evolved this industry. Through our podcast, we hope to inspire and encourage the next generation of storytellers and visionaries. Mike and Eric listened to numerous Steph and Salt episodes, such as "How Pain, Travel and Relationship Changed Our View of Success" which is representative of the podcast. It can be found on Apple Podcasts here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-pain-travel-and-relationship-changed-our-view/id1622523342?i=1000578683826 Follow us on Twitter at @noharmaskingpod so you don't miss a review! Eric also publishes his podcasting journey titled "A Podcasting Journal" on Substack at https://ericbyron.substack.com/ Please check out our sponsor: Qollab.me - the free to use interview planning, preparation and collaboration tool https://qollab.me/

Dr. Naeema is an author, chiropractor, mom of three, business owner, and host of the Elevate Now Podcast. She is a champion for women to pursue their passions with practical advice, resources, and more.A California native, Dr. Naeema relocated her family to Atlanta following her passion for spreading the message of true health and giving hope back to families like hers that suffered from health issues.Dr. Naeema truly believes that the power of chiropractic care can make an immense difference in the lives of her patients. She started The Elevate Now Podcast to be able to share her passion for holistic health with more people!Segmented timestamps:[01:08] - Dr. Naeema's superpower, being vulnerable [03:11] - What Dr. Naeema is doing to impact the world in a positive way[07:36] - Dr. Naeema shares about a time when she took the biggest risk, what was going on and how she made it[12:41] -  Tips on how to find your alignment with your own happiness while pivoting  [18:35] - Why you've nothing to prove, nothing to defend, and nothing to protect  [21:24] - Stepping into the role of a champion and embracing your calling in spite of the fear [24:27] - Defining our own worthiness by keeping the promises we've to ourselves [26:04] - How Pain pushes you until your vision pulls you[30:02] - How to reach out, connect or support Dr. NaeemaNotable Quotes:“We miss so many opportunities when we're looking at our lives from a lens that doesn't define who it's that we're.” ~ Dr. Naeema Olatunji"Worthiness is an inside job, and we define our worthiness based on the promises we keep to ourselves." ~  Dr. Naeema Olatunji"The greatest gift is on the other side of you doing it anyway." ~  Dr. Naeema Olatunji“Fear is supposed to be there, but what you don't need fear to do is to drive the car.” ~ Dr. Naeema OlatunjiResources Mentioned: Dr. Naeema Olatunji, Raised As A Lie: https://www.amazon.com/Raised-as-Lie-Naeema-Olatunji-ebook/dp/B09QLFLZNK.Reach Dr. Naeema at:Website: https://www.raisedasalie.com/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-naeema-olatunji/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEO78sCxha7Qd1f9yikNsNwGet more from The Big Possible show:Website: https://www.thebigpossible.com   Follow us on social: @follownoah @thebigpossibleRSVP for our next epic retreat here

Josh Logan Young joins us this week on Forager Health Podcast! Join us in this intimate and heartfelt container where we break down Josh's lifetime of insight on all the ways men are trained to fail in our modern relationships and how to rewrite the script on what intimacy with yourself and your partners can look like.  We break down in great detail many ways to grow into your potential as a divine masculine sexual expression of Self. Josh and I go back and forth in expressing the pitfalls commonly faced and the lengths we need to go to for change to be seen in our daily habits and lifelong patterns.  We also discuss: What Sacred Sexuality looks like both when alone and when experimenting with a partner.  Conventional and not-so-common practices, considerations, and strategies for stepping into your Truth as someone who is able to hold Sacred Space for yourself and others. Shadow Work for couples & having conversations about your sex life. How Pain and heartbreak can be used as a catalyst for healing if we choose it to be.  The meaning of Devotional relationships and how a Devotional mindset can shape your reality for healthier partnerships Understanding pleasure, and how we can use or abuse our Sacred Masculine Energy How Sex is supposed to be, and the practices and energetics of Sacred Sex Overcoming Generational Trauma one conversation at a time And More!! Show Notes: David Deida's books: https://www.amazon.com/The-Way-of-Superior-Man-audiobook/dp/B07FXZBYJ9/ref=sr_1_1?crid=577N6X8H9S72&keywords=way+of+superior+man&qid=1660155112&sprefix=way+of+superio%2Caps%2C231&sr=8-1 (Way of the Superior Man) https://www.amazon.com/Enlightened-Sex-Manual-Sexual-Superior/dp/1591795850/ref=sr_1_6?crid=1EED7TXS26LCE&keywords=sacred+sex+manual&qid=1660155082&sprefix=sacred+sex+manual%2Caps%2C509&sr=8-6 (Sacred Sex Manual) Time Markers: @Start - 15:18 Introductions, Trauma Responses in Everything We Do?!?!, When Trauma is Real and What it Means to Feel Free of it @15:18- 25:47 Couples Shadow Work - What it Looks Like to Bear it All with your Partner, Feel Held, Work Through the Pain of Truly Knowing One Another @25:47 - 39:44 Josh's History with Self Hate, Shame, Trauma, and Relationships Gone Wrong as a Catalyst for Healing @39:44 - 54:52 Josh's Response to the Pain Point - His Personal Practices and Largest Emphases within The Healer's Journey Including Choosing to Be Single Until Devotion Came into His Life  @54:52 - 1:01:21 Sacred Sexuality - Use and Misuse of Your Sacred Energy, Communication with The Body We Are Given, Understanding Pleasure, and Knowing Ourselves Through Intimacy and Acknowledgment of Harm @1:01:21 - 1:11:58 Choosing an Adult Reason for Sexual Intimacy, Conscious Intercourse, Responding Differently to Your Felt Dissatisfaction, Creating Love, and Expressing Your True Feelings Through Sex @1:11:58 - 1:35:04 The Practices and Energetics of Sacred Sex, Sacred Exploration for Individuals and Couples , and How to Progress from Increased Sensitivity to Achieving Transcendence with Your Partner @1:35:04 How Sex is Supposed to Be - Overcoming Societal Trauma One Conversation at a Time, and Where to Start Even if You Think You Can't

Welcome to the Damn Dude Podcast!This is Season 2, Episode 35.- R.I.P. George Gandiza "Mr. Mique" Mique.- Threshold of Pain- What does Pain Mean to You? - Physical and Emotional Pain being the Same.- Different Contexts to Relate to Pain.- Converting Pain to Fear, and then Fear to Action.- The Struggle is Not the Impressive Part, How  Pain is Managed, Related to, Worked Through, and Overcame is the Impressive Part.Favorite Quote:"A Man Worth While, is a Man with a Smile, When Everything Falls Apart"- S.N. Geonka - Music Homework- Song #2 of the WeekLink To Song Of The Week:https://youtu.be/lXgrXDhtmZkRemember to say 3 things you're Gratful for every morning and every night!- Available on all major platforms!@RealCaliforniaCal@DamnDudePodcasatAvailable on all major platforms: https://damndudepodcast.buzzsprout.com/- Apple Podcasts- Buzzspout- Spotify- Google Podcasts- Amazon Music- iTunes- Stitcher- iHeart Radio- TuneIn + Alexa- Podcast Addict- PodChaser- Pocket Casts- Deezer- Listen Notes- Player Fm- Podcast Index- Overcast- Castro- Castbox- Podfriend- YouTubeDaaaaaaamn Duuuuuude!!!!!Be sure to leave a 5 Star written review on Apple Podcast/Listen Notes! :)If you'd love and support the show, please feel free to make a donation to the Damn Dude Podcast!(link below)Anything and everything is Appreciated! :) Much Love, Love All.Support the show

How Pain on all levels can hold us back from living a Manifest On-Demand Lifestyle. We talk with Jenny Gold on her journey through pain and discuss ideas on how to step through to the other side. #manifestondemand #imaginationiq #gravitywell Check out Jenny's product line here: www.jennysgold.com Learn more about Imagination IQ: www.imaginationiq.com

Sex And Chronic Pain on xe2x80x9cMy Orgasmic Lifexe2x80x9d podcast EP.134 Holistic Sexual Wellness, BDSM Wellness & Trauma Recovery Specialist, Gaia Morrissette, talks about her own personal journey with chronic pain and how it has affected her sex life. Content Warning : Swearing, Laughter, Car Accident, Chronic Pain Gaia Covers on today show: *Gaia shares her person journey of chronic pain over the last 20 years*What is a pain loop*How Orgasm can be used as part of pain management*The importance of being able to change your orgasmic patterning*How to break the pain loop*How Pain can also be used as sexual arousal with BDSM Gaia is asking for support to help her pay for the overhead costs of running this show. For as little as $5 come support, play and interact with her in a deeper way. Become a Patron and receive all sorts of special privileges and bonus content https://www.patreon.com/myorgasmiclife *******To keep exploring and expanding your learning with online courses visit https://succulent-living.teachable.com/ *** Call all coaches,healers, therapists and anyone who works with people that might have trauma come check out this Professional Trauma Recovery Training. https://succulent-living.teachable.com/p/trauma-recovery-professional-training-level-1 Join xe2x80x9cMy Orgasmic Lifexe2x80x9c Podcast on Spreaker or Spotify or Apple podcast or Google Podcast or iHeartRadio or on your favourite podcast platform. You can also listen on my website https://www.succulentliving.com/blog/categories/my-orgasmic-life-podcast or download my new My Orgasmic Life App from google play store There is a whole world of playful, educational, healing and safe experiences to be discovered at www.succulentliving.com and come frolic with Gaia on Social Media under Gaia Morrissette For all of your BDSM education, exploration and surrendering needs come visit Empress Gaia at https://www.empressgaia.com/ Looking to buy some toys visit xe2x80x9cCome As You Arexe2x80x9d my favourite high quality sex toy online store. https://www.comeasyouare.com?aff=succulentliving Learn more about Gaia Morrissette: Holistic Sexual Wellness Specialist, Gaia Morrissette believes the keys to a happy, healthy, wealthy, magical and EPIC orgasmic life is ; Sexual Wellness, Embracing the human experience and releasing fear, shame , guilt and self-loathing. Gaia supports people living with pleasure through Holistic Sexual Wellness, Trauma Recovery. She is also a BDSM Wellness expert, High Priestess and Pro-Dominatrix. For over 12 years she has been a renowned international speaker, trainer, facilitator, podcaster and coach who makes the world a happier, safer and sexier place for us all. Gaia is the founder of SucculentLiving.com, Empressgaia.com & Succulent living Online Education. Her education and training consist of, sexology, trauma recovery, life coaching, tantra training, sex coaching, and lots of practice in the areas of play, healing, and exploringSponsored by Tickle.LifeTickle.Life is An inclusive content led market space for people and professionals to discover, connect and learn everything around sexual well being https://tickle.life/ Don't forget to come check out Tickle.Life Podcast that Gaia is the fabulous host of https://tickle.life/podcasts/tickle-life-podcast/ #kink, #BDSM, #chronicpain, #pain,#sexandchronicpain,#men,#women, #letstickle, #ticklelife, #happytickling, #sexualhealth, #gaiamorrissette, #holisticsexualwellness, #myorgasmiclife, #Orgasmicliving, #sex, #sexcoach, #sexshame, #succulentliving, #myorgasmiclifepodcast #relationship, #Relationshipadvice,#SexEducation,#sexual, #sexualwellness, #sexualwellnessspecialist, #shame

Sex And Chronic Pain on “My Orgasmic Life” podcast EP.134 Holistic Sexual Wellness, BDSM Wellness & Trauma Recovery Specialist, Gaia Morrissette, talks about her own personal journey with chronic pain and how it has affected her sex life. Content Warning : Swearing, Laughter, Car Accident, Chronic Pain Gaia Covers on today show: *Gaia shares her person journey of chronic pain over the last 20 years*What is a pain loop*How Orgasm can be used as part of pain management*The importance of being able to change your orgasmic patterning*How to break the pain loop*How Pain can also be used as sexual arousal with BDSM Gaia is asking for support to help her pay for the overhead costs of running this show. For as little as $5 come support, play and interact with her in a deeper way. Become a Patron and receive all sorts of special privileges and bonus content https://www.patreon.com/myorgasmiclife *******To keep exploring and expanding your learning with online courses visit https://succulent-living.teachable.com/ *** Call all coaches,healers, therapists and anyone who works with people that might have trauma come check out this Professional Trauma Recovery Training. https://succulent-living.teachable.com/p/trauma-recovery-professional-training-level-1 Join “My Orgasmic Life“ Podcast on Spreaker or Spotify or Apple podcast or Google Podcast or iHeartRadio or on your favourite podcast platform. You can also listen on my website https://www.succulentliving.com/blog/categories/my-orgasmic-life-podcast or download my new My Orgasmic Life App from google play store There is a whole world of playful, educational, healing and safe experiences to be discovered at www.succulentliving.com and come frolic with Gaia on Social Media under Gaia Morrissette For all of your BDSM education, exploration and surrendering needs come visit Empress Gaia at https://www.empressgaia.com/ Looking to buy some toys visit “Come As You Are” my favourite high quality sex toy online store. https://www.comeasyouare.com?aff=succulentliving Learn more about Gaia Morrissette: Holistic Sexual Wellness Specialist, Gaia Morrissette believes the keys to a happy, healthy, wealthy, magical and EPIC orgasmic life is ; Sexual Wellness, Embracing the human experience and releasing fear, shame , guilt and self-loathing. Gaia supports people living with pleasure through Holistic Sexual Wellness, Trauma Recovery. She is also a BDSM Wellness expert, High Priestess and Pro-Dominatrix. For over 12 years she has been a renowned international speaker, trainer, facilitator, podcaster and coach who makes the world a happier, safer and sexier place for us all. Gaia is the founder of SucculentLiving.com, Empressgaia.com & Succulent living Online Education. Her education and training consist of, sexology, trauma recovery, life coaching, tantra training, sex coaching, and lots of practice in the areas of play, healing, and exploringSponsored by Tickle.LifeTickle.Life is An inclusive content led market space for people and professionals to discover, connect and learn everything around sexual well being https://tickle.life/ Don't forget to come check out Tickle.Life Podcast that Gaia is the fabulous host of https://tickle.life/podcasts/tickle-life-podcast/ #kink, #BDSM, #chronicpain, #pain,#sexandchronicpain,#men,#women, #letstickle, #ticklelife, #happytickling, #sexualhealth, #gaiamorrissette, #holisticsexualwellness, #myorgasmiclife, #Orgasmicliving, #sex, #sexcoach, #sexshame, #succulentliving, #myorgasmiclifepodcast #relationship, #Relationshipadvice,#SexEducation,#sexual, #sexualwellness, #sexualwellnessspecialist, #shame

Dealing with difficult emotions can feel uncertain, scary and extremely uncomfortable, especially when we have not had positive experiences with experiencing and expressing our emotion in the past.  In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses:   The next three steps (out of five) in how to deal with difficult emotions.  How we can recognize and identify our primary emotions. How acknowledging and naming our difficult emotions lessens the intensity of them and helps us begin the process of organizing and dealing with the emotion. How the questions we ask ourselves can contribute to more suffering and pain. What we can learn from our feelings and emotions.  How the insights, learnings and lessons can help us move forward in a more powerful way.  How self-compassion and understanding can help in the process of dealing with difficult emotions.  Mentioned:  Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Untamed, by Glennon Doyle ERP 223: HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT EMOTIONS – PART ONE ERP 142: How to Increase Relationship Satisfaction with Mindfulness  ERP 143: How to Increase Relationship Satisfaction with Mindfulness – Part Two  ERP 144: HOW TO INCREASE RELATIONSHIP SATISFACTION WITH MINDFULNESS – PART THREE ERP 140: How Pain and Suffering Increase & What to Do about It  ERP 141: How To Decrease Relationship Pain and Suffering  ERP 156: What Happens When You Feel Like A Victim In Relationship  ERP 157: HOW TO SHIFT OUT OF THE VICTIM POSITION ERP 095: How Your Beliefs Can Destroy Your Relationship  ERP 096: HOW YOUR BELIEFS CAN DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIP – PART TWO ERP 135: HOW TO HANDLE GRIEF AND LOSS IN RELATIONSHIP – PART ONE ERP 136: HOW TO HANDLE GRIEF AND LOSS IN RELATIONSHIP – PART TWO Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins:  Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com  Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me. 

This is my first interview with a cosmetic stature lengthening patient. In this special sit-down with Alfonso, he explains what the first few weeks of his limb lengthening procedure has been like. Alfonso had his bilateral femoral limb lengthening surgery done on May 22, 2020 via the STRYDE internal lengthening nail. I have posted the time-stamps below if you're interested in a particular topic: 1:00 – Alfonso's discovery of LL 1:55 – Reason he wanted to get taller 3:15 – Factors that helped with the decision to do procedure 5:40 – Alfonso's distraction/lengthening phase 6:30 – His aspirations to be a leader and desire to be “looked up to” 8:20 – Fitness level prior to surgery 9:00 – Fears of losing athleticism 11:00 – Excitement leading up to the surgery 12:00 – His take on the pain right after the procedure & cycle of meds to manage pain levels 13:40 – Swelling & Inflammation post-op… “Thick-like-Thanos!” 15:00 – Doing activities and getting around post-op via STRYDE internal nail 16:45 – PT session experiences 18:35 Taking showers 22:05 – Worries of skewing Proportions 25:00 – At home exercise routine 26:05 – Sustained slight injury when pushing too much too soon. TAKE CAUTION Stryde or no Stryde 27:00 – Physically preparing for the surgery 27:50 – How Pain impacts Sleeping 30:35 – Most of the pain is located near the tibial tuberosity 31:20 – Alfonso's “Special Routine” to manage energy levels after surgery: Meds à Sleep àExercise 33:10 – Doing detailed oriented tasks w/ pain pills 34:40 – Nutritional Supplements to help recover 37:55 – Thoughts before making the final decision to get the LL done 39:30 – Plans to get the full 8cm of length of the Stryde nail in femurs Alfonso's email: aflores440@outlook.com: please be respectful if reaching out to Alfonso; a few words of encouragement would be nice.

This week's EPIC podcast guest is Dr. Jade Teta. Jade is all kinds of amazing things. He is a super smart Naturopathic Physician, An Author, A philosopher, a strength and conditioning specialist, a podcast host to his epic show, call the Next Level Human Podcast, and in addition to all of that, Jades operates a HIGHLY successful multifaceted online business.   Outside of that incredible list — from my perspective, Jade is a warm, creative, wise, and deep individual who I could have kept talking to for hours.  I love this talk so much because Jade and I have so many shared passions from health/fitness/performance/self-development + philosophy so picked his brain in all of those areas as much as I could in this talk without making it a 5-hour talk— not an easy task at all.  I will say this talk takes a DEEP dive Self-Development so talks around self-identity, passion, purpose in life, process + Jade's powerful perspectives/ frameworks in these areas. A few of the powerful takeaways you will gain from this talk: How/away Jade found interest in hormones/endocrinology and evolved his career in all areas of his purpose  Listening to yourSelf to live on your highest path  How Pain is a powerful catalyst for powerful growth Choosing to NOT be a victim in your life Jades empowering and unique perspective on the quote “Everything happens for a reason”  The different between Purpose and Passion 3 Jade breaks down his belief on the reasons we are here: To Learn to Teach and to Love  Getting energetic validation for your work- what is this, why is this important?  The stories about we create about ourselves that can trap us in identities that do not serve us Operating Life froth lens that YOU are more than a human, You are an EXPERIENCE  How your Physical state impacts your mental state + Jades breakdown on his 4 jobs: CAREER+ FINANCES HEALTH/FITNESS  PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS PURPOSE + MEANING  and how these important aspects of our lives affect the others. And SO much more. This conversation is SO RICH in thought-provoking ideas that will FOR SURE make you think deeper about yourself, your passions and purpose in life, your approach to your health, and investigate the ways that you can become more rooted, clear + stronger in all of these important areas of your life.  I loved every minute of this talk with one of my new favorite friends that is the amazing Jade Teta— and I Believe you will too.   Let us know by screen-grabbing this, throwing it up on your IG stories and tagging us both- @ROXYLOOK + @JADETETA  Enjoy! STAY CONNECTED Website: www.jadeteta.com  Jade Teta Youtube INSTAGRAM: @JADE TETA NEXT LEVEL HUMAN PODCAST PODCAST MENTION: NEXT LEVEL HUMAN EP 50: Estrogen, Progesterone, and Contraceptives in Female Athletes PS. My weekly LOVE❤️NOTES are ALIVE and ready to elevate your mindset + heart! Sign up to start receiving one weekly empowering, encouraging, bite-size LOVE❤️NOTE that is also available in audio format. I want you to start your day with this short but sweet love note so that you feel AMAZING as you tackle the hustle of your day like a BOSS. You can sign up for them here VIA WWW.BLACKBELTBEAUTY.COM

Medical Intuitive Rev. Dr. Anthousa Helena joins Dr. Liz to talk about people’s innate wisdom and intuition around their own body’s health or illness. We discuss: How Pain is a Signal How to tune into your body and talk to your body Anthousa’s #1 Tip for listening to your body How Hypnosis helped to resolve Fibromyalgia The intention of Medical Intuition How humans always have a choice in how they live and what they accept in their lives. Find out more about Rev. Dr. Anthousa Helena at https://www.sollite.com To find out more about Dr. Liz’s Sleep Better, Feel Better Online Group, visit https://bit.ly/sleepbetterfeelbetter -------------------- See more about Dr. Liz and get Free hypnosis files at http://bit.ly/drlizhypnosis Search episodes at the Podcast Page http://bit.ly/HM-podcast Help yourself with Hypnosis Downloads by Dr. Liz! http://bit.ly/HypnosisMP3Downloads Twitter @DrLizBonet#hypnotizemepodcast | YouTube  |  FB  |  LinkedIn --------- A problem shared is a problem halved.In person and Online hypnosis for healing and transformation. Schedule your free consultation at https://www.drlizhypnosis.com. Listened to in over 140 countries, Hypnotize Me is the podcast about hypnosis, transformation, and healing. Certified hypnotherapist and Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Dr. Elizabeth Bonet, discusses the research behind hypnosis, interviews professionals doing transformational work, and talks to individuals who have had hypnosis. Free hypnoses are also given from time to time. If you're interested in learning more about the magic of hypnosis, psychotherapy and mindfulness, this is the perfect place to feed your fascination! Thank you for tuning in! Please subscribe to auto-download new episodes to your listening device. After you listen to a few episodes, please consider leaving an honest rating and review of the podcast. Click on this link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/hypnotize-me-dr.-elizabeth/id1181272913 Select "View in itunes" Choose "Open in itunes" Choose "Ratings and reviews" Click to rate the number of stars Click "Write a review" Hear my voice in your head saying, "Thank you so much!"

In this episode, you will learn ways to address the difficulty and uncertainty of not knowing if your partner is really “in it” with you and what to do about it. If you missed Part One, you can check it out here. LISTENER’S QUESTIONS: Listener:..“I’m having a few issues in my relationship with my boyfriend. He just can’t seem to stop messaging his exes. He knows I am very uncomfortable with it. We’ve broken up a few times due to this. I’m starting to think maybe I’m the issue and not him, and I don’t know what to do. We just recently got back together again, and he is doing (it) again. Maybe it’s my insecurities, maybe I should break up with him, maybe I should trust him…I’m stuck on ‘does he not care?’ ‘Does he just not love me?’ Should I break up with him?”… Listener:..“However, I didn’t learn about it until several hours later when he ‘suddenly remembered’ and said that that was happening ‘tomorrow night.’ When I asked him why this was the first I heard of it, he said, ‘I didn’t think of it.’ I was mad that this was the first I was hearing about it, when I’ve explained that we need to discuss in advance things that are going to affect ‘us’ or our time together. I was mad that I had just said that I wanted us to do something, and it sounded like he’s planning on going to this ‘going away’ party. I felt like he wasn’t making ‘us’ the priority.He then made it worse by saying that he didn’t choose which he wanted to do yet, somehow thinking by not choosing the party it was okay. When in reality, either way, he wasn’t choosing ‘us’…” (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) FINAL 4 (OF 8) QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER: Question #5: Do you have explicit agreements? Couples need to understand the importance of crystal-clear agreements. Relationship starts with a sense of flow, harmony, and connection that seems effortless. They experience a heightened state of arousal known as the “romance stage,” which is fueled by neurochemicals and not sustainable. When the honeymoon wears off, it can be confusing. Why are things no longer harmonious and smooth? Why doesn’t your partner get you? Why are there more misunderstandings? Every couple goes through five stages. Learn more about each stage by downloading a free Relationship Map, which describes what the long-term landscape of intimacy entails. Explicit agreements flush out assumptions, expectations, fears, and needs. What’s visible on the surface, isn’t always what’s going on underneath. Slow down and focus on safety, clarity, and vulnerability. Question #6: Do you clear up miscommunications with your significant other? Bringing up an issue is challenging. Especially, if you lack the confidence to address an issue productively and constructively. Do you best to handle matters in a calm way. While anger can give us the fuel to take action, it will often lead us to say and do things we do not mean. CheckoutERP 018: HOW TO DEAL WITH FEELINGS OF ANGER IN RELATIONSHIP.  Feeling angry, frustrated, or irritable indicates something that matters to you. Don’t let it go, and commit to addressing it constructively with your partner. Use the Communication Exercise as a resource. Use a gentle, curious, and relational approach to support a safe and inviting conversation. Develop a deeper level of understanding of your partner. Sometimes there may be more going on (i.e. ADHA, HSP, Anxiety, Depression, Stress, etc.) Question #7: Do you take care of yourself? Do you ignore or suppress feelings of insecurity and pain? There’s meaning and significance in those feelings. Pay attention to and address them. Pain is a part of life. It is important to learn how to deal with our pain. Boundaries are not to control someone, but for your limits in a relationship. Is your boundary reasonable and fair? Generally people will respect you setting boundaries, rather than lowering your standards. Question #8: Do you work toward a win-win? Strive for a win-win, so that the deal works for both people. This can be a paradigm shift to works towards a resolution that works for both people. If the resolution is not a win-win, it will not be sustainable over the long-term. MENTIONED: Relationship Map (opt-in) 7 Ways Relationship Fail (ebook opt-in) Shifting Criticism To Maintain A Healthy Relationship (guide) Shifting Criticism Into Connected Communication (course) ERP 163: What To Do When You Question “Is My Partner Really With Me?” (podcast) Couples’ Seminar with Melissa Orlov – The ADHD Effect In-Depth (course) ERP 051: How To Thrive With ADHD In Your Relationship (podcast) ERP 134: Sensitivity and Intimacy with Candy Crawford (podcast) ERP 160: How To Deal With Anxiety In Relationship (podcast) ERP 161: HOW TO SOOTHE ANXIETY IN RELATIONSHIP (podcast) ERP 057: How To Avoid Enabling Your Partner’s Destructive Behavior (podcast) ERP 074: How To Combat The Damage Of Stress In Your Relationship (podcast) ERP 075: How To Combat The Damage Of Stress In Your Relationship – Part Two ERP 006: Making And Keeping Agreements To Strengthen Your Relationship (podcast) ERP 109: How Being Gentle With Your Partner Can Make A Big Difference (podcast) Communication exercise (article) ERP 018: HOW TO DEAL WITH FEELINGS OF ANGER IN RELATIONSHIP (podcast) ERP 140: How Pain and Suffering Increase & What to Do about It (podcast) ERP 141: How To Decrease Relationship Pain and Suffering (podcast) Photo by Taylor L. Spurgeon on Unsplash TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please reach out to me. Here is my contact information. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. I would really appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! ❤ If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

GUEST: MARTIN UCIK Martin Ucik is a German born entrepreneur who trained with Eckhart Tolle as a Power Of Now group facilitator and founded www.singles2couples.org, an Association for Healthy Relationships. His studies of Ken Wilber’s Integral Model allowed him to integrate his personal experiences as a divorced father and the wisdom from over 200 relationship books into Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men which Ken Wilber calls “a terrific book!” and his new book Sex Purpose Love. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) LISTENERS’ QUESTIONS: First listener’s question: “I stumbled upon your podcast on Spotify and since then have found great value in it with my current relationship of 1.5 years. If possible I have some questions/topic that I would love to hear you cover. … One relationship question/topic that is a big stressor in my relationship is: My boyfriend is a police officer and in the National Guard. His jobs have really changed him like how he judges people really quickly and so on. Have you ever covered a topic similar to this?” Second listener’s question: “My worry is that I’ve grown and matured in my thinking over the past couple months and that my boyfriend and I won’t be on the same page. I tend to overthink and my boyfriend tries to simplify things, so oftentimes we balance each other out. However there are times when I think I’m maturing a lot faster than him and it sort of creates a mental gap between us. I’m not sure if that’s because we’re not compatible or if there’s a better way to communicate.” INTEGRAL THEORY Lines of development 5 stages of spiritual development 8 stages of consciousness 4 quadrants Personality matrix Developmental Lines for Relationship, based on Martin Ucik’s approach: Emotional availability Consciousness development Sexual development Spiritual development Anima/animus 8 STAGES OF DEVELOPMENT, BY MARTIN UCIK How we see the world and how we communicate. Survival Magical thinking Ego centric Mythic Rational Pluralistic Integral Transpersonal “Experience without theory is blind but theory without experience is mere intellectual play.” by Immanuel Kant How partners meet each other matters. In the past, partners would meet each other in places where they were likely to have similar perspectives, beliefs, and world views, like college, church, and interest based groups. It was more likely that partners would be at similar stages of consciousness. Whereas today, partners are meeting each other online and are more likely to be at different stages of consciousness, which poses great difficulty for couples. How do you determine what stage of development as person is in? Listen to what really matters to them. What do you recommend for a couple that is dealing with being at different stages of development?  Talk about your experience. Look at the stages of consciousness together. Be gentle in your approach with one another. Invite an openness and a willingness to explore. Sometimes, people will not be ready or willing to grow and develop. MENTIONED: Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men (book) Sex Purpose Love: Couples in Integral Relationships Creating a Better World (book) Relationship Map (opt-in) Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind – and Keep – Love (book) Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life — Second 2nd Edition (book) Integral Theory: Ken Wilber (Wikipedia) Ken Wilber (website) Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (book) Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition (book) Passionate Marriage (book) Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love (book) The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire (20th Anniversary Edition) (book) Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart (book) Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After (book) Alex Gray (website) ERP 006: Making And Keeping Agreements To Strengthen Your Relationship (podcast) ERP 140: How Pain and Suffering Increase & What to Do about It (podcast) ERP 141: How To Decrease Relationship Pain and Suffering (podcast) ERP 015: Do You Have A “Unity” Or “Journey” Mindset In Relationship? (podcast) TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please reach out to me. Here is my contact information. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Dealing with resentment in relationships help couples move forward positively with their lives and allow couples to have deeper connection. I would really appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.

In the last two episodes, I explored the drama triangle. In episode 156, I discussed what the drama triangle is and how is shows up in our interactions with others, especially during conflict. In episode 157, I explained how we can easily get wrapped up in the victim position and how this can negatively affect our experience in relationship…and more importantly a critical key in how to shift out of the victim position and into the creator position. Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear stories, explanations, and examples. WHAT IS A RESENTMENT? A resentment is a grudge or a negative feeling that we might be harboring about a past experience. Often, we will feel resentment when someone did or said something that we did not like or we have issue with. Or a resentment is something that we have not made peace with or do not know how to reconcile. As I mentioned in my previous podcast episodes about forgiveness, it is not about condoning bad behavior or liking a horrible act. It is about coming to terms with the fact that you cannot change or control what happened. In the series about dealing with pain, pain is a natural part of life. It is a fallacy to think that we are going to go through life without experiencing hardship, loss, and upset. Trying to avoid, resist, or fight against pain only creates more suffering. As discussed in episode 157, when someone feels overwhelmed by painful external circumstances, it is common to feel disempowered and to feel victimized. While we cannot change the fact that crappy things might happen to us or have happened to us, we can change how we deal with them. When a painful event occurs, it is important to give attention to the hurt and injury. However, after a period of time, we are faced with how do we incorporate this experience into our lives. When we do not accept or come to terms with a painful experience, we do not move forward. It is very difficult to feel open and alive when we are harboring resentments. “Forgiveness changes the way we remember. It converts the curse into a blessing. Forgiveness indeed heals memories.” by Henri Nouwen HOW TO RESOLVE RESENTMENTS 1. Name it. Acknowledge the resentment. 2. Specify it. Lost dream. Unfulfilled expectation. Old wound (from childhood). 3. Try out David Emeralds exercise. From the The Power of TED Look at how the challenge in your life has taught you something. List 7 people, circumstances, or conditions that have been difficult for you (persecutors) and look for the ways they have been a gift to you or a teacher for you. Questions to ask: How have they challenged you to learn and grow? What is the lesson this person or situation is bringing into my life? How and what can I learn from this? What is the gift hidden in this situation, no matter how difficult it appears? 4. Use the gift as curriculum for your development.  What is the piece of value that you learn from the exercise above? And how can you start practicing this in your life and relationships? MENTIONED: ERP 157: How to Shift Out of The Victim Position (podcast) ERP 156: What Happens When You Feel Like A Victim In Relationship (podcast) ERP 123: Forgive For Love With Dr. Fred Luskin (podcast) ERP 140: How Pain and Suffering Increase & What to Do about It (podcast) ERP 141: How To Decrease Relationship Pain and Suffering (podcast) ERP 015: Do You Have A “Unity” Or “Journey” Mindset In Relationship? (podcast) ERP 026: How To Repair & Resolve Hurt In Relationship (podcast) POWER OF TED* (*THE EMPOWERMENT DYNAMIC) (book) Photo by Jaelynn Castillo on Unsplash TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please reach out to me. Here is my contact information. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Dealing with resentment in relationships help couples move forward positively with their lives and allow couples to have deeper connection. I would really appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.

This week, I was thrilled to interview my good friend, former filmmaking partner, and incredible embodiment coach Nadia Munla.   We went IN on how your relationship with your body really impacts your ability to flow creatively, access your intuition, and feel charged up and ready to create like you mean it.   And, it's tough to get us together and NOT talk about SEX. (Listen, the film we worked on together WAS, after all, a raunchy romantic comedy -- which you can also watch in iTunes here or Amazon here.) So we covered a lot -- from sexuality to sexual trauma -- and what that even has to do with your creative and financial flow. (Hint: It's a lot!)   Nadia typically works with women on the three core messages they receive from society regarding their feminine body that isn't serving them.   “Our erotic is dangerous.” “Play is unproductive.” “Emotionality is weak.”   I love that we touched on all of this because these three things: sexual energy, playfulness and pleasure, and emotionality are ALL aspects of your creative process -- so learning HOW to be with these parts of yourself without judgment or shame is a huge step towards more creative and financial fulfillment.   We also talked about how the seat of your Sacral Chakra (the womb space on women) is a center of creativity as well as work, so it's imperative that YOU find balance with your life-force energy and it's not contracted or “stuck” in any particular area.   Yes, this is quite the woo-woo (but also science-y and pragmatic) episode.   Here are some of my other favorite parts: Nadia's 4 Pillars of Embodiment, which all begin with feeling SAFE in your body and learning how to self-regulate your sense of safety.   How PAIN in the body is a sign that something is off or wrong -- not a signal to numb, push, or self-punish. Instead, it's an opportunity for deep healing and growth.   Why becoming a MASTER of your own nervous system by developing a personalized set of tools for your body is critical to ecstatic embodiment.   The various ways of getting into your body and managing negative energy like “shaking it off” or touching yourself -- and how actions and tools like these are super important to your sense of feeling safe in your body and allowing for optimal creative flow.   For women -- how learning how to “cycle sync” and arrange your schedule and expectations of yourself according to your monthly flow week by week can be a window into super powers you never knew you had!   Plus SO much more. I really adored this episode and hope that you did too! And, when you're ready to start connecting with your body in a powerful new way, you can always check out Nadia's Embody Dance Class at embodydanceclass.com or learn new ways of working with her at nadiamunla.com.   She also suggested following her on Instagram to get even more of the wisdom and advice she shared on today's episode! Remember, that you can “use your body as a compass for creativity” and Nadia's tips from today's episode are a great start.   Create like you mean it, Jamie

This week, I was thrilled to interview my good friend, former filmmaking partner, and incredible embodiment coach Nadia Munla.   We went IN on how your relationship with your body really impacts your ability to flow creatively, access your intuition, and feel charged up and ready to create like you mean it.   And, it's tough to get us together and NOT talk about SEX. (Listen, the film we worked on together WAS, after all, a raunchy romantic comedy -- which you can also watch in iTunes here or Amazon here.) So we covered a lot -- from sexuality to sexual trauma -- and what that even has to do with your creative and financial flow. (Hint: It's a lot!)   Nadia typically works with women on the three core messages they receive from society regarding their feminine body that isn't serving them.   “Our erotic is dangerous.” “Play is unproductive.” “Emotionality is weak.”   I love that we touched on all of this because these three things: sexual energy, playfulness and pleasure, and emotionality are ALL aspects of your creative process -- so learning HOW to be with these parts of yourself without judgment or shame is a huge step towards more creative and financial fulfillment.   We also talked about how the seat of your Sacral Chakra (the womb space on women) is a center of creativity as well as work, so it's imperative that YOU find balance with your life-force energy and it's not contracted or “stuck” in any particular area.   Yes, this is quite the woo-woo (but also science-y and pragmatic) episode.   Here are some of my other favorite parts: Nadia's 4 Pillars of Embodiment, which all begin with feeling SAFE in your body and learning how to self-regulate your sense of safety.   How PAIN in the body is a sign that something is off or wrong -- not a signal to numb, push, or self-punish. Instead, it's an opportunity for deep healing and growth.   Why becoming a MASTER of your own nervous system by developing a personalized set of tools for your body is critical to ecstatic embodiment.   The various ways of getting into your body and managing negative energy like “shaking it off” or touching yourself -- and how actions and tools like these are super important to your sense of feeling safe in your body and allowing for optimal creative flow.   For women -- how learning how to “cycle sync” and arrange your schedule and expectations of yourself according to your monthly flow week by week can be a window into super powers you never knew you had!   Plus SO much more. I really adored this episode and hope that you did too! And, when you're ready to start connecting with your body in a powerful new way, you can always check out Nadia's Embody Dance Class at embodydanceclass.com or learn new ways of working with her at nadiamunla.com.   She also suggested following her on Instagram to get even more of the wisdom and advice she shared on today's episode! Remember, that you can “use your body as a compass for creativity” and Nadia's tips from today's episode are a great start.   Create like you mean it, Jamie

This week, I was thrilled to interview my good friend, former filmmaking partner, and incredible embodiment coach Nadia Munla.   We went IN on how your relationship with your body really impacts your ability to flow creatively, access your intuition, and feel charged up and ready to create like you mean it.   And, it’s tough to get us together and NOT talk about SEX. (Listen, the film we worked on together WAS, after all, a raunchy romantic comedy -- which you can also watch in iTunes here or Amazon here.) So we covered a lot -- from sexuality to sexual trauma -- and what that even has to do with your creative and financial flow. (Hint: It’s a lot!)   Nadia typically works with women on the three core messages they receive from society regarding their feminine body that isn’t serving them.   “Our erotic is dangerous.” “Play is unproductive.” “Emotionality is weak.”   I love that we touched on all of this because these three things: sexual energy, playfulness and pleasure, and emotionality are ALL aspects of your creative process -- so learning HOW to be with these parts of yourself without judgment or shame is a huge step towards more creative and financial fulfillment.   We also talked about how the seat of your Sacral Chakra (the womb space on women) is a center of creativity as well as work, so it’s imperative that YOU find balance with your life-force energy and it’s not contracted or “stuck” in any particular area.   Yes, this is quite the woo-woo (but also science-y and pragmatic) episode.   Here are some of my other favorite parts: Nadia’s 4 Pillars of Embodiment, which all begin with feeling SAFE in your body and learning how to self-regulate your sense of safety.   How PAIN in the body is a sign that something is off or wrong -- not a signal to numb, push, or self-punish. Instead, it’s an opportunity for deep healing and growth.   Why becoming a MASTER of your own nervous system by developing a personalized set of tools for your body is critical to ecstatic embodiment.   The various ways of getting into your body and managing negative energy like “shaking it off” or touching yourself -- and how actions and tools like these are super important to your sense of feeling safe in your body and allowing for optimal creative flow.   For women -- how learning how to “cycle sync” and arrange your schedule and expectations of yourself according to your monthly flow week by week can be a window into super powers you never knew you had!   Plus SO much more. I really adored this episode and hope that you did too! And, when you’re ready to start connecting with your body in a powerful new way, you can always check out Nadia’s Embody Dance Class at embodydanceclass.com or learn new ways of working with her at nadiamunla.com.   She also suggested following her on Instagram to get even more of the wisdom and advice she shared on today’s episode! Remember, that you can “use your body as a compass for creativity” and Nadia’s tips from today’s episode are a great start.   Create like you mean it, Jamie

This week, I was thrilled to interview my good friend, former filmmaking partner, and incredible embodiment coach Nadia Munla.   We went IN on how your relationship with your body really impacts your ability to flow creatively, access your intuition, and feel charged up and ready to create like you mean it.   And, it’s tough to get us together and NOT talk about SEX. (Listen, the film we worked on together WAS, after all, a raunchy romantic comedy -- which you can also watch in iTunes here or Amazon here.) So we covered a lot -- from sexuality to sexual trauma -- and what that even has to do with your creative and financial flow. (Hint: It’s a lot!)   Nadia typically works with women on the three core messages they receive from society regarding their feminine body that isn’t serving them.   “Our erotic is dangerous.” “Play is unproductive.” “Emotionality is weak.”   I love that we touched on all of this because these three things: sexual energy, playfulness and pleasure, and emotionality are ALL aspects of your creative process -- so learning HOW to be with these parts of yourself without judgment or shame is a huge step towards more creative and financial fulfillment.   We also talked about how the seat of your Sacral Chakra (the womb space on women) is a center of creativity as well as work, so it’s imperative that YOU find balance with your life-force energy and it’s not contracted or “stuck” in any particular area.   Yes, this is quite the woo-woo (but also science-y and pragmatic) episode.   Here are some of my other favorite parts: Nadia’s 4 Pillars of Embodiment, which all begin with feeling SAFE in your body and learning how to self-regulate your sense of safety.   How PAIN in the body is a sign that something is off or wrong -- not a signal to numb, push, or self-punish. Instead, it’s an opportunity for deep healing and growth.   Why becoming a MASTER of your own nervous system by developing a personalized set of tools for your body is critical to ecstatic embodiment.   The various ways of getting into your body and managing negative energy like “shaking it off” or touching yourself -- and how actions and tools like these are super important to your sense of feeling safe in your body and allowing for optimal creative flow.   For women -- how learning how to “cycle sync” and arrange your schedule and expectations of yourself according to your monthly flow week by week can be a window into super powers you never knew you had!   Plus SO much more. I really adored this episode and hope that you did too! And, when you’re ready to start connecting with your body in a powerful new way, you can always check out Nadia’s Embody Dance Class at embodydanceclass.com or learn new ways of working with her at nadiamunla.com.   She also suggested following her on Instagram to get even more of the wisdom and advice she shared on today’s episode! Remember, that you can “use your body as a compass for creativity” and Nadia’s tips from today’s episode are a great start.   Create like you mean it, Jamie

TOPIC: SYMPTOMS OF VICTIM MENTALITY IN RELATIONSHIPS FEELING LIKE A VICTIM IN RELATIONSHIP IS AN AWFUL FEELING In relationship, we want and need to feel safe, loved, and valued. When difficult things happen, it can be extremely painful. Sometimes, it is a condition or circumstance that is challenging (like a health issue, family crisis, natural disaster, etc). But when our partner behaves badly or unskillful, it can be heartbreaking. When awful things happen, it is natural to feel the hardship, pain, and injury, and it is incredible important to attend your experience. RESOURCES If you are experiencing immediate hardship and crisis, it might be helpful to check out some of the previous podcast episodes: How to handle Grief and loss in relationship – Part One How to handle Grief and loss in relationship – Part Two How to Repair a Breach of Trust in Relationship How to Deal with the Effects of Trauma in Relationship with Dr. Janina Fisher How to Get Relational Support When Dealing with Illness & Chronic Pain with Dr. Jackie Black How to Identify Manipulative & Emotionally Abusive Relationships with Paul Colaianni In the podcasts about how we deal with pain, I addressed the fact that the way in which we handle pain contributes to greater levels of suffering (i.e. when we resist pain, anticipate, ruminate, and protest against pain). THE DRAMA TRIANGLE In this episode, I am going to address how we unknowingly get stuck in a destructive dynamic – The Drama Triangle. The drama triangle is a social model of human interaction that can occur between people in conflict, which was developed by Stephen Karpman, M.D. This common relationship dynamic perpetuates pain and suffering, and keeps us stuck in endless cycles of difficulty. The problematic interaction and can occur in any type of relationship, where there is struggle (i.e. spouse, partner, family member, friend, colleague, etc). Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear stories, explanations, and examples. Concepts for today’s episode are referenced from Connected Couple and The Power of Ted, by David Emerald. When exploring The Drama Triangle, you may notice you can occupy all positions at various point. Or you may notice a stronger tendency to take a particular role. THE VICTIM Helpless and hopeless Collapsed and powerless Doesn’t advocate for self Poor me “Victims may be defensive, submissive, over-accommodating to others, passive-aggressive in conflict, dependent on others for self-worth, overly sensitive, even manipulative. They’re often angry, resentful, and envious, feeling unworthy or ashamed about their circumstances.” By David Emerald, The Power of TED “Death of a dream: All victims have experience a loss – a thwarted desire or aspiration – even if they’re not aware of it.” By David Emerald, The Power of TED THE VILLAIN OR PERSECUTOR Often times a person, but sometimes it is a circumstance or condition. Aggressive, domineering, and judgmental. Uses blame, criticism, and or oppression. Persecutors were almost always former victims. “I will never be the victim again.” Fear of loss of control THE HERO OR THE RESCUER Overly helpful and overextends (usually with good intentions) Feels responsible for others Poor you Intrapersonally, we might engage in behaviors that rescue ourselves from painful feelings (i.e. substance use, alcohol, sugar, computer gaming, watching tv, shopping, overeating, etc.) Fear of loss of purpose When couples seek support in the way of coaching or therapy, often times they are looking for the helping professional to validate their experience. However, it is often done through the way of the victim position. “Arguments are caused by two people racing to occupy the victim position (why are you doing this to me?) and then tries to get person B to agree with that assessment. In other words, person B has to agree that he or she is the persecutor. Therein lies the problem. It’s almost impossible to get the other guys to agree that it’s his fault.” By Gay Hendricks in The Big Leap In the next episode, I will discuss how to shift out of The Drama Triangle. MENTIONED: ERP 135: How to handle Grief and loss in relationship – Part One (podcast) ERP 136: How to handle Grief and loss in relationship – Part Two (podcast) ERP 153: How to Repair a Breach of Trust in Relationship (podcast) ERP 148: How to Deal with the Effects of Trauma in Relationship with Dr. Janina Fisher (podcast) ERP 154: How to Get Relational Support When Dealing with Illness & Chronic Pain with Dr. Jackie Black (podcast) ERP 113: How to Identify Manipulative & Emotionally Abusive Relationships with Paul Colaianni (podcast) ERP 140: How Pain and Suffering Increase & What to Do about It (podcast) ERP 141: How To Decrease Relationship Pain and Suffering (podcast) POWER OF TED* (*THE EMPOWERMENT DYNAMIC) (book) The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level (book) Connected Couple (program) Wild Quest (website) Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please reach out to me. Here is my contact information. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Identifying the symptoms of victim mentality in relationships help couples improve and understand each other to connect rather that neglect the feelings of each other. I would really appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you!  If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.      

Topic: Fear of outshining in relationship In ERP 150: What to Do When Stuck in Self-Sabotage, I addressed how it is sometimes difficult to accept and embrace new levels of success, love and abundance. Unconsciously, we have a tendency to sabotage the expansion process because of old limiting beliefs. “The Upper Limit Problem is our universal human tendency to sabotage ourselves when we have exceeded the artificial upper limit we have placed on ourselves.” by Gay Hendricks, (The Big Leap, page 197) THE FEAR OF OUTSHINING YOUR PARTNER The fear of outshining is when one partner is afraid of outshining their partner, and actively works to monitor and dim their expression as a form of protection. In the article, Are you inadvertently dimming your light? When you have a pattern of being afraid of outshining she makes some great options about how people struggle with the fear of outshining others. “When you try not to outshine, it’s about the People Pleaser in you that wants to protect somebody from feeling bad due to you feeling good or doing well in a particular area.” by Natalie 3 Examples of How people struggle when afraid to outshine, by Natalie: “Not wanting to ‘outshine’ with your feelings and opinions. This is likely to be the case if you were raised by someone who dominated the home with their feelings, opinions, needs etc., possibly belittling yours in the process. Putting aside a talent or hobby out of fear that your peer group will ostracize you.This is especially likely to be the case if you were bullied or penalized in some way for seemingly outshining when you were a child. Suffering from the Imposter Syndrome and so not internalizing your accomplishments and achievements while at the same time feeling ‘bad’ and like a fraud. “ “Trying not to outshine people is not only attempting to control the uncontrollable (a misappropriation of energy) but we’re also judging ourselves and the other party in a particular area when we (and they) are so much more than these ‘parts’.” by Natalie  THE FEAR OF OUTSHINING AS A SUCCESSFUL PERSON & THE IMPACT ON RELATIONSHIP Relationship and intimacy is one of the most important areas of our life and often the most challenging. When one or both people are successful, they are often dealing with their limiting beliefs, patterns, and sabotage, which adds additional layers of complexity to the relationship dynamics. Unfortunately, the relationship takes the brunt of these limiting behaviors through the form of arguing, criticizing, accusing, projecting, withholding, withdrawing, etc. In The Big Leap, Gay says “the greater success you achieve, the bumpier your relationships tend to be.” TO AVOID THE TRAPS OF SUCCESS (FROM THE BIG LEAP, BY GAY HENDRICKS): Be intentional about taking alone time to process, center, and integrate.“These periods of battery-charging alone time give you the ability to master longer and longer periods of closeness when you’re in union with your beloved.” Gay Hendricks 192 Prioritize transparency and vulnerability.  Getting in touch with deeper feelings and expressing them. “I am overwhelmed.” I am tired.” I am scared.” Accept the discomfort and be interested in the process. So often we want to turn away from the pain, yet there is such valuable and transformational informational awaiting your attention. Develop an accountability measure. Friends that help remind you of your limiting beliefs and behaviors. MENTIONED: The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level, By Gay Hendricks (book) ERP 150: What To Do When Stuck In Self Sabotage (podcast) ERP 140: How Pain and Suffering Increase & What to Do about It (podcast) ERP 110: How To Manage Two Majorly Conflicting Needs In Relationship (podcast) ERP 114: How To Develop The Strength Of Vulnerability ERP 106: What To Do When You Are Attracted To Someone Else (podcast) Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 151: HOW TO HANDLE THE TROUBLE OF OUTSHINING IN RELATIONSHIP [TRANSCRIPT] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please reach out to me. Here is my contact information. Thank you so much for your interest in understanding Self sabotaging relationship patterns and improving your love relationship. Feeling uncertain about a relationship is challenging and it is important to look into things to consider before making a decision. I would really appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.

If you missed part one, you can check it out here ERP 142, where I give practical explanations and examples of mindfulness. In episode ERP 143, I talked about important research that is showing higher levels of mindfulness contributes to happier, more satisfying relationships. In this episode, I also give you the first 3 ways that mindfulness benefits you and your relationship. 1. More Attentive 2. Able to respond Rather Than React. 3. More Emotionally Regulated (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) 7 WAYS MINDFULNESS BENEFITS YOU AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP. 4. Increased Self-Awareness As we develop skill in mindfulness, the anterior cingulate cortex in our brain changes. This area is associated with impulse control, attention, emotion, as well with our sense of self. Mindfulness helps us control the impulse to act out in destructive and manipulative ways, as well as redirect our attention towards our higher intentions, goals, and values. With more self-awareness, we can observe our emotions and behaviors and recognize when we are going down a path of doing and saying things from a hurt place. With self-awareness, we can recalibrate when we have gotten off track. 5. Clearer Communication “Communication issues” are a frequent complaint couples have when seeking help. Most often it is not about needing better communication, but it is about developing the awareness and understanding of what is going on underneath that is important. Typically, we will attack, blame, turn away or protest in the hopes that our partner will recognize our hurt and offer reassurance, love, and support. But often this does not work. However, if we have clear insight into our vulnerability and pain, we are in a much better position to communicate clearly with our partner. In this case, they are much more likely to be able to understand, empathize and want to help. How Mindfulness Techniques Can Help Your Relationship, By Erica Turner “One of the biggest benefits of mindfulness is its ability to help us slow down intense emotional processes. Often, when we are upset or disappointed or frustrated with our partner, our brain is in hyperdrive. We are on high alert in trying to get our needs met and express ourselves. Unfortunately, this high anxiety status can impede us from being able to clearly tell our partners what we’re looking for from them. Approaching your partner mindfully can help you slow down so that you can have a more productive conversation.” With mindfulness, we can develop the ability to be more clear and direct with our communication. We can be more tactful and kind, as we assist our partner in meeting us. 6. More Empathy With mindfulness, the insula, the part of the brain that is associated with empathy and compassion changes. As we develop mindfulness, we have more capacity to understand our partner’s perspective. We can identify with their emotion and feel empathy, compassion, and the desire to help. This is a major turning point in any difficult conversation, as this is where connection can occur and possibilities start to open up. The more we practice, the more care and empathy we can bring to a difficult conversation. When our partner feels our care and consideration, they are more likely to open up and engage in a productive way. With a climate of more compassion and warmth, partners feel more love, support, and intimacy, which strengthens their bond and connection. 7. More Acceptance In the series about pain, I talked about how life involves some degree of pain. When we worry about the pain, try to avoid the pain, or try to make it different, we create a lot of suffering. Often times, when couples seek help, they have been in pain for a long period of time. Unfortunately, it is actually the way they have tried to avoid the pain that has created much more damage, problems and suffering than the initial pain itself. Mindfulness increases our ability to be present with what is. As we become more mindful, we achieve a greater sense of inner peace. HOW TO PRACTICE MINDFULNESS Here are some links to some great mindfulness resources and exercises to get you started: 22 Mindfulness Exercises, Techniques & Activities For Adults (Article) 6 Mindfulness Exercises You Can Try Today (Article) How Mindfulness Techniques Can Help Your Relationship, By Erica Turner (Article) Guided Mindfulness Meditation Series 1: A Complete Guided Mindfulness Meditation Program from Jon Kabat-Zinn (Audio) Guided Mindfulness Meditation Series 2 (Audio) Guided Mindfulness Meditation Series 3 by Kabat-Zinn, Jon (2012) Audio CD (Audio) MENTIONED: ERP 143: How to Increase Relationship Satisfaction with Mindfulness – Part Two (podcast) ERP 142: How to Increase Relationship Satisfaction with Mindfulness (podcast) ERP 140: How Pain and Suffering Increase & What to Do about It (podcast) ERP 141: How To Decrease Relationship Pain and Suffering (podcast) The Value in Pain and the Pain in Value, by Lode Dewulf (TED Talk) Photo by Jared Rice on Unsplash TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you!  If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or doing relationship coaching work with me.

If you missed part one, you can check it out here ERP 142, where I give you explanations and examples of mindfulness and how you may already be practicing mindfulness in your life. With a better understanding of mindfulness in general, let’s talk about how mindfulness benefits our relationship. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) HOW MINDFULNESS BENEFITS RELATIONSHIPS. Research is beginning to show us that higher levels of mindfulness contribute to happier, more satisfying relationships. Generally, mindfulness helps us: Keeps Things Fresh: You are less likely to take each other for granted or be caught up in your stories and expectations. You are more likely to recognize the growth and newness in your partner. You are more likely to appreciate and value your partner because you are more in the moment and paying quality attention to them. Soothes Fears and Anxieties: While being in relationship provides love and connection, it can also stimulate anxieties and insecurities. Fears of being hurt will make us more reactive and protective. Unfortunately, these reactive and protective strategies push our partner away, and lead to more pain, conflict, and disconnect. Mindfulness is a valuable tool for dealing with our fears and reactions. Learning to deal with our insecurities is probably one of the most important skills in keeping a relationship healthy and happy. 7 WAYS MINDFULNESS BENEFITS YOU AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP. 1. More Attentive With mindfulness practice, we strengthen the area in our brains associated with attention and focus. When practicing mindfulness, we can recognize when we have spaced out, started thinking about something else and come back to our partner. For partner’s whose primary love language is “quality time,” attention and focus are the ultimate ways of feeling loved and cared about. When a partner is distracted and preoccupied, they may feel as though “You don’t really care. You don’t really love me.” Regardless of your partner’s primary love language, being present and engaged helps create a safe space for your partner to share and express more fully, which it turn cultivates a deeper sense of understanding, intimacy, and connection. 2. Able to respond Rather Than React. When practicing mindfulness, we develop our capacity for increased emotional regulation. In previous podcast episodes, I have talked about how easily our “fight, flight, or freeze” mode can get activated when we feel threatened. When we are in a triggered place, it is very difficult if not impossible to respond in a level and skillful way. Research shows that with mindfulness, we are able to decrease the volume of the amygdala. The switch to our “flight, flight or freeze” response is not as easily flipped. The amygdala has less power to hijack us. Being able to respond rather than react helps partners slow down, take pause and assess the situation before jumping to conclusions. Once we have calmed down, we can communicate more clearly and from the heart, rather than reacting and getting into negative cycles or destructive behavior. 3. More Emotionally Regulated Mindfulness strengthens the prefrontal cortex and improves the connectivity between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala. The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that is responsible for higher level thinking, perceiving other’s emotions, decision-making, moderating our behavior and regulating our own emotional expression. These are all critical brain functions to being able to relate to someone else effectively. One of the primary goals of keeping yourself regulated (calm and collected) is to stay in the prefrontal cortex. As soon as your amygdala is firing away, you are in protection mode. How Mindfulness Can Save Your Relationship By Lisa Firestone “A typical conversation between a couple may involve one partner remarking, “You used to be up for anything. You were so lively when we met.” This may spark a defensive response in the other partner: “What? You’re saying I’m not spontaneous anymore? You think I’m boring? What about you? You never get off the couch!” This type of angry and accusatory response tends to have a snowball effect. “I never said you were boring, and now you’re calling me lazy? I work day and night to make you happy. You’re so ungrateful.” By Lisa Firestone Without mindfulness, one is likely to have a short fuse and respond in defended demeanor (i.e. “What is wrong with you?”). With mindfulness, one is likely to recognize something is going on and be more sensitive. (i.e. “Honey, I see you. Do you want to talk about it?”) Imagine a scenario where your partner has done or said something that you find alarming or challenging. You feel triggered. You feel your emotions rising to the surface. You are at a choice point. You can react or take a few moments to notice your thoughts and emotions. As you stay present to noticing your experience (without getting caught up in your story or emotional reaction), you may begin to gain some perspective and emotional balance. Then, you can address the situation from a more regulated way rather than just reacting in a defensive and protective manner. Stay tuned for the next episode for the next four Ways Mindfulness Can Benefit You and Your Relationship. MENTIONED: ERP 142: How to Increase Relationship Satisfaction with Mindfulness (podcast) ERP 140: How Pain and Suffering Increase & What to Do about It (podcast) ERP 141: How To Decrease Relationship Pain and Suffering (podcast) The Value in Pain and the Pain in Value, by Lode Dewulf (TED Talk) Journal of Human Sciences and Extension  (journal article) Mindfulness with Jon Kabat-Zinn (video) Meditation Is Not What You Think: Mindfulness and Why It Is So Important (book) Photo by Bruno Aguirre on Unsplash TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you!  If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or doing relationship coaching work with me.

The demands of modern life keep us busy and pulled in many directions. It is easy to get swept away with schedules and tasks. We hope to be more productive and accomplish more. However, we sometimes expect too much of ourselves and our relationships. To make matters worse, we often fall into the trap of thinking our relationships are self-sustaining. We believe that a good relationship just works and is easy. However, like with most things, relationships do not grow and flourish with little care and attention. Additionally, when we are presented with a difficultly or challenge, we often try to avoid the pain. Yet, there can be tremendous value in learning to turn towards the pain and be with it. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, I am going to give you a little more description of mindfulness. Description of mindfulness: “Mindfulness is a mental state, which is achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while very calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations.” by Lode Dewulf   Without focus, we are prone to going into autopilot, negative habitual thinking, distraction, and preoccupation. Mindfulness involves redirecting your focus and attention over and over again. At first, it will feel impossible. Jon Kabat Zinn calls it the monkey mind (see below). The goal with mindfulness is to train your mind. Jon Kabat-Zinn says mindfulness is about paying attention to the present moment on purpose and without judgment. Mindfulness helps you experience your life more fully as it is happening, in each moment. You become more present, engaged and connected to what is happening. Mindfulness is a skill we can acquire. Mindfulness is always available Mindfulness is a way to calm ourselves down when distressed. Mindfulness increases our awareness of what we are experiencing and the space to decide how we want to act in any given situation. In the next episode, I will share How To Increase Relationship Satisfaction with Mindfulness. Stay tuned MENTIONED: ERP 140: How Pain and Suffering Increase & What to Do about It (podcast) ERP 141: How To Decrease Relationship Pain and Suffering (podcast) The Value in Pain and the Pain in Value, by Lode Dewulf (TED Talk) Mindfulness with Jon Kabat-Zinn (video) Meditation Is Not What You Think: Mindfulness and Why It Is So Important (book)

“THE VALUE IN PAIN AND THE PAIN IN VALUE” In last weeks episode, I talked about Lode Dewulf’s Ted Talk The Value in Pain and the Pain in Value, and how this relates to relationship pain. I highly recommend watching the video. He does a great job of describing how we compound the amount of pain we experience, by adding more layers of pain. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In life, we area all faced with pain. Most of us work really hard at avoiding the pain. Yet, when we do not meet the pain directly, we create more suffering for ourselves. Avoiding, resisting and fighting all create additional pain and suffering. Mindfulness helps regulate the nervous system, so that we can get calm and clear headed. “Mindfulness is a mental state, which is achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while very calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations.” by Lode Dewulf THE LEARNING PROCESS The learning process involves four stages. To go to the next stage will involve a little bit of pain. 1. Unaware & Incompetent Insight 2. Aware & Incompetent Training 3. Aware & Competent Practice 4. Unaware & Competent   ACCESS YOUR FREE RELATIONSHIP MAP. “Let us stop this obsession to avoid pain. And let us stop the illusion that life, learning, and happiness can ever be without pain. Because that awareness is the first step towards healing out of pain. “ By Lode Dewulf MENTIONED: Relationship Map (1 page graphic opt-in) ERP 140: How Pain and Suffering Increase & What to Do about It (podcast) The Value in Pain and the Pain in Value, by Lode Dewulf (TED Talk) What Does The Development Of Intimacy Look Like In Relationship? (article)