Podcasts about Kaddish

After we recite in the morning the section of the Ketoret and the passage of "Abayeh Hava Mesader," we recite a very special prayer – Ana Be'cho'ah. This prayer was composed by one of the great Tanna'im – Rabbi Nehunya Ben Ha'kaneh, whom the Hida (Rav Haim Yosef David Azulai, 1724-1806) describes as one of the earliest Kabbalists, preceding even Rabbi Shimon Bar Yohai. The Ana Be'cho'ah prayer is so significant that the Ben Ish Hai (Rav Yosef Haim of Baghdad, 1833-1909) and many others write that if a person arrives late to Shaharit, and needs to skip the introductory portions of the prayer service, he should not skip Ana Be'cho'ah. This prayer consists of seven lines, each of which with six letters, for a total of 42 letters, and these 42 letters spell the special 42-letter Name of Hashem. This Name is the "elevator," the Name associated with rising to the upper worlds. It is critically important to recite Ana Be'cho'ah as part of our introduction to Shaharit because it elevates us to the heavens so we can present our Tefilot to G-d. By the time we recite the Amida, we want to be standing before the Heavenly Throne, so we can speak directly to the Almighty. The recitation of Ana Be'cho'ah elevates us to the higher spheres so we can speak to Hashem while standing in front of His Throne. It is proper to recite this Tefila slowly and to take note of the first letters of the words. This Name is alluded to also in the first paragraph of Shema, which consists of 42 words (from "Ve'ahabta" through "U'bi'sh'arecha"), corresponding to the 42 letters of this Name. For this reason, some Siddurim feature the letters of this divine Name alongside the words of this paragraph of Shema. Another allusion to this Name is found in Kaddish – specifically, in the phrase "Ve'yishtabah Ve'yitpa'ar Ve'yitromam Ve'yitnaseh Ve'yit'hadar Ve'yit'aleh Ve'yit'halal," which consists of seven words that each contains six letters, for a total of 42. Some have the custom to recite Ana Be'cho'ah each night before going to sleep. The soul departs and rises to the heavens when one sleeps, and so it is appropriate to recite this prayer which, as mentioned, is associated with elevation and ascent. Likewise, it is customary to recite Ana Be'cho'ah at funerals, Heaven forbid, as the coffin is being taken for burial, and the soul is ready to rise to the heavens. In some communities, Ana Be'cho'ah is recited before Lecha Dodi on Friday night, as we elevate ourselves to the higher plane of Shabbat. Likewise, many recite this prayer after counting the Omer, as the Omer counting is intended to elevate us in preparation for Matan Torah on Shabuot. The custom to read Ana Be'cho'ah following the recitation of "Abayeh Hava Mesader" was taught by the Arizal, as brought in Sha'ar Ha'kavanot. This is cited by the Kaf Ha'haim (Rav Yaakob Haim Sofer, Baghdad-Jerusalem, 1870-1939). The Seder Ha'yom (Rav Moshe Ben Machir, Safed, 16 th century), by contrast, writes that it is better to recite Ana Be'cho'ah later, just before Baruch She'amar. He explains that the world was created with the power of this 42-letter Name, and so it is appropriate to allude to this Name just before reciting "Baruch She'amar Ve'haya Ha'olam," when we give praise to Hashem who created the world. However, we follow the Arizal's teaching, that Ana Be'cho'ah should be recited after the section of "Abayeh Hava Mesader." One possible explanation for the Arizal's custom is that the section of "Abayeh Hava Mesader," which lists the various Abodot (services) performed daily in the Bet Ha'mikdash, omits Birkat Kohaim (the priestly blessing), which was recited each day in the Bet Ha'mikdash. In the Bet Ha'mikdash, the Kohanim reciting Birkat Kohanim would use the Shem Ha'meforash – the divine Name that is normally forbidden to utter, and according to some, this was the 42-letter Name. Perhaps, then, we add Ana Be'cho'ah – which is associated with this Name – after the section of "Abayeh Hava Mesader" to allude to the daily recitation of Birkat Kohanim in the Bet Ha'mikdash. The Ana Be'cho'ah prayer concludes with the pronouncement of "Baruch Shem Kebod Malchuto Le'olam Va'ed," giving praise to the exalted Name of G-d, which this prayer expresses.

Classes on Rambam, divided according to the daily schedule.

Teach Us To Pray — “Father In Heaven” Introduction: Why We Need to Learn to Pray Coleton begins with a simple but relatable picture: his son Teddy not enjoying golf because he doesn't know how to play. “I'd enjoy it more if I knew how to hit it.” That insight becomes the doorway into the entire series—many people don't enjoy prayer because they don't know how to do it. The goal of this teaching is not just to inform people about prayer, but to help them experience joy in it. Coleton introduces the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9–13) as the foundation—a short, 31-word prayer in its original language, yet deep enough to shape a lifetime of communion with God. Key Quote: “The Lord's prayer is simple enough to be memorized by small children and yet profound enough to sustain a whole lifetime of prayer.” — Justin Welby Coleton explains that this prayer is both: A pattern (Matthew: “pray like this”) A prayer to be repeated (Luke 11:2: “when you pray, say…”) Key Quote: “We can either use each phrase as a handrail… or pray exactly these words thoughtfully.” — Frederick Dale Bruner This series will walk through the prayer line by line, beginning with the first phrase: “Our Father in heaven.” 1. Remember Who You're Talking To (Matthew 6:9) Coleton emphasizes that Jesus begins prayer by reshaping our understanding of God. Before anything else, we must remember: we are speaking to a Father. A Radical Shift in Prayer Jesus adapts a traditional Jewish prayer (the Kaddish), which begins by magnifying God's name—but instead of starting there, Jesus begins with relationship: Father. This is intentional. Jesus is not removing God's holiness—He is making Him personally accessible. Key Quote: “Pray to God more intimately than you think you're allowed.” — Tyler Staton The word Abba reflects deep closeness—not childish, but deeply personal. Coleton illustrates this with his son calling him “pop-pop”—a name that reflects relationship, not just title. Why This Matters How we perceive God determines how we pray: If we think He's angry → we become guarded If we think He's disappointed → we withdraw If we think He's distant → we disengage Key Quote: “Most people's biggest problem with prayer is God Himself… scowling, perpetually disapproving…” — Pete Greig Jesus corrects this: you are approaching the safest, most loving presence you've ever known. If we don't start here, we won't pray freely, consistently, or joyfully. 2. Because He is Father — It Shapes How We Talk to God Coleton addresses a common barrier: “I don't know what to say.” Through a deeply personal story about his son's speech delay, he reveals a powerful truth: a father doesn't care how polished the words are—he just wants to hear his child's voice. That becomes the central image Jesus wants us to carry into prayer. Freedom Over Formula While tools like A.C.T.S. or P.R.A.Y. can help, Coleton warns against turning prayer into a rigid system. We don't talk to people we love using formulas—so why would we do that with God? Prayer is meant to be: Natural Relational Honest Free You can: Talk about your day Share your highs and lows Express frustration or confusion Sit in silence Even biblical examples support this: The Psalms are full of raw emotion Job questions and wrestles with God Coleton makes a key distinction: Complaining to God is prayer Complaining about God is grumbling God desires the first. 3. Because He is Father — It Shapes What We Expect from God Coleton then shifts from how we speak to what we expect. Expectation #1: We Should Expect More Scripture: “How much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” — Matthew 7:9–11 Jesus teaches that God's generosity surpasses even the best human parents. Coleton challenges a common hesitation: feeling guilty for asking God for things. Many people hold back because they think their needs are too small or too selfish. But a loving father doesn't shame his child for asking. He shares a powerful story of rock climbing with his dad—choosing independence over accepting help. Instead of pride, it brought hurt. Why? Because relationship invites dependence. Key Quote: “Jesus is trying to bring us… to the Father with hands out.” — C.H. Dodd Not asking isn't humility—it can actually be distance. Expectation #2: We Should Expect “No” A good Father doesn't give everything His children ask for. God's “no” is not rejection—it is protection and love. He sees what we don't He knows what will harm or shape us He gives both yes and no as gifts Coleton reminds us: don't let unanswered prayers convince you God doesn't care. Sometimes His refusal is His deeper kindness. 4. Practicing Prayer as Children of the Father Coleton ends with practical application: What does it actually look like to pray this way? You can: Pray the Lord's Prayer word-for-word Or use it as a starting point But most importantly, relate to God as a Father. Practical Ways to Pray Talk to Him about your day (even though He already knows) Share what you're thinking and feeling Bring your worries and desires Celebrate what's good and process what's hard Sit quietly with Him Even fall asleep while talking to Him Coleton uses the image of his son talking as he falls asleep—what some might feel is “bad prayer,” a father sees as a gift. That's how God sees you. Key Quote: “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” — A.W. Tozer If we see Him as Father, we will move toward Him—not away. Conclusion Coleton brings the message full circle: prayer begins not with technique, but with identity and relationship. When Jesus teaches us to pray “Our Father,” He is inviting us into: Freedom instead of fear Relationship instead of ritual Trust instead of hesitation God is not waiting for perfect prayers—He is waiting for His children. Discipleship Group Questions When you think about God, what is your immediate emotional response—and how does that affect your prayer life? Why do you think Jesus chose to begin prayer with “Father” instead of focusing first on God's holiness or power? What tends to hold you back from praying honestly and freely with God? Which is harder for you to accept: that God wants to give you more, or that He lovingly says “no”? Why? What is one practical way you can begin relating to God more like a Father this week? Culture of Gospel Share this with someone in your life who doesn't know Jesus What if God isn't distant or disappointed in you—but actually wants a real relationship with you like a loving Father who enjoys hearing your voice? Jesus teaches that prayer isn't about getting it right—it's about coming home to Someone who already wants you.

The Midrash says at the beginning of Parashat Tazriya, regarding a woman giving birth to a baby boy: give praise to the name of Avraham Avinu, who came from afar, as it says, וַיִּרְא אֶת הַמָּקוֹם מֵרָחֹק . The Mefarshim are bothered: what does Avraham Avinu have to do with this parasha, and why do Chazal refer to him as "the one who came from afar"? The Chidushei Harim explains that starting with the woman who gives birth, the parasha speaks about different individuals who may feel pushed away by Hashem. The woman who gives birth to a boy has a certain form of tum'a. She is not allowed to eat korbanot for forty days, which means if she gave birth before Pesach, she would not be able to bring the korban Pesach—not on Pesach Rishon, nor on Pesach Sheni. She may think to herself: I was involved in performing a great mitzvah, and now I am banned from the Beit HaMikdash. The next parasha speaks about someone who contracts tzara'at. The Gemara says tzara'at is a mizbe'ach kapara—a mizbe'ach that gives the person kapara. Some explain that it is yesurin shel ahava —afflictions of love. Not every case of tzara'at comes as a result of a sin. When a person is suspected of having tzara'at, he must be in quarantine for a week or two. If it is confirmed, he must be isolated away from everyone. He cannot attend shul, pray with a minyan, or answer Kaddish. He may feel: why is Hashem pushing me away like this? Further on, the parasha speaks about other people who become tameh through no fault of their own. They may feel the same sentiments. Imagine a family on their way up to Yerushalayim for one of the shalosh regalim, attempting to bring a korban to Hashem on the Chag, and after their long travels, they arrive at the Beit HaMikdash and discover that the man of the house has become tameh and cannot participate at all. It will definitely feel like Hashem is rejecting him. For those instances, the Midrash tells us to see what Avraham Avinu would do under such circumstances. Avraham spent his entire life teaching the world about Hashem. All he wanted was a child who would continue in the same path. After decades of waiting, he finally received a miracle child at an advanced age. Imagine the love Avraham had for this child. As the child grew, Avraham was able to teach himTorah and the ways of Hashem. Imagine the love Avraham had for Yitzchak at age five—much greater than at his birth. The love he had at age ten was even greater. He invested so much time and energy into Yitzchak, who was to continue his life's mission. Then, when Yitzchak was thirty-seven, in the prime of his life, Hashem told Avraham to slaughter him. In one second, all of Avraham's hopes and dreams were being denied. All of the love he had for his son was about to make this task extraordinarily difficult. He could have felt, "All I am trying to do is promote the name of Hashem in the world, and now He is pushing me away." Yet Avraham said to himself: if this is what Hashem wants me to do, then this is what I want. Instead of feeling rejected, he marched forward with zerizut and did Hashem's will to the best of his ability. This was one of the greatest acts of service of all time. Hashem was not distancing Avraham. He was elevating him. Hashem never distances anyone. A person may feel distanced, but that is only because he does not understand the ways of Hashem. When a person becomes tameh, it is not Hashem saying, "I do not want your korban." It is Hashem saying: "I want a different service from you now. I want you to accept that this is what is best for you, and serve Me from the place I have placed you." For that, a person will gain far more than he would have from bringing the korban. When people feel that Hashem is not interested in their service, yet they still do the best they can, that service elevates them enormously. Hashem may appear to be far from us at times, but He is always close. He always wants our avodah, no matter how it may seem. If we strengthen ourselves during those times and continue to serve Him joyfully, to the best of our ability, we will rise to the greatest levels.

durée : 01:54:03 - Fictions / Théâtre et Cie - Récit d'une existence confisquée par le souvenir de la tragédie concentrationnaire par le Prix Nobel de littérature Imre Kertész, cette magnifique oraison funèbre affirme l'impossibilité d'assumer le don de la vie dans un monde définitivement traumatisé par l'Holocauste. - réalisation : Jacques Taroni

durée : 01:54:03 - Fictions / Théâtre et Cie - Récit d'une existence confisquée par le souvenir de la tragédie concentrationnaire par le Prix Nobel de littérature Imre Kertész, cette magnifique oraison funèbre affirme l'impossibilité d'assumer le don de la vie dans un monde définitivement traumatisé par l'Holocauste. - réalisation : Jacques Taroni

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

Learn the Amidah and Kaddish with simple and straightforward recordings of Ashkenazi tradition. how to say kaddish how to daven learn amidah amidah prayer guide kaddish tutorial jewish prayer for beginners tefillah guide daily prayer jewish how to pray jewish learn jewish prayers kaddish pronunciation amidah step by step guided tefillah orthodox prayer guide

The word "Yahrtzeit" comes from the Yiddish word "Yahr," which means "year," and it is of course used in reference to the date on which a loved one had passed away. It is customary for a person who observes a Yahrtzeit for a parent to recite Kaddish from the Shabbat preceding the Yahrtzeit. Thus, for example, if the Yahrtzeit falls on Tuesday, then the individual begins reciting Kaddish from the Kaddish Al Yisrael following "Bameh Madlikin" on Friday night, and he continues through Minha on Tuesday afternoon. It is customary for the person to also receive an Aliya on the Shabbat preceding the Yahrtzeit, and the Hashkaba prayer is recited at that time. Preferably, he should receive the Aliya of Maftir, which brings the greatest benefit to the parent's soul. Importantly, though, one must not fight to receive the Aliya of Maftir – or any Aliya – as the merit of foregoing for the sake of peace far exceeds the merit of any Aliya. Different customs exist regarding the case of a Yahrtzeit that falls on Shabbat. Some recite Kaddish from the preceding Shabbat and throughout the week, whereas others recite Kaddish only on the Shabbat of the Yahrtzeit. One should consult with his Rabbi for practical guidance in such a situation. Some have the custom to fast on a parent's Yahrtzeit. This is due to the tradition that a deceased soul is judged each year on his Yahrtzeit. Although a person obviously can no longer perform Misvot after he leaves this world, he is judged on the basis of his offspring's conduct. Therefore, by fasting, learning Torah, praying and giving Sedaka on the Yahrtzeit, one benefits the departed parent's soul by helping to ensure a favorable judgment. A Yahrtzeit is to be observed even many years – and even many decades – after a parent's passing. The Sages teach that the righteous "have no rest, neither in this world nor in the next world," as here in our world, they constantly work and strive for greater spiritual heights, and in the next world, they are constantly being elevated through the good deeds of their progeny. Therefore, a child should continue observing the parent's Yahrtzeit throughout his life. If, for whatever reason, a person did not recite Kaddish on a parent's Yahrtzeit, he can make it up the next day, or on whichever day he remembers. This is the ruling of Hacham Ovadia Yosef.

https://youtu.be/oRXkXsQoWq8 Audio: Play the audio class Download: Download this MP3 Topics: Morning Prayers Follow-Along Text: בְּחַיֵּיכוֹן וּבְיוֹמֵיכוֹן וּבְחַיֵּי דְכָל בֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל, בַּעֲגָלָא וּבִזְמַן קָרִיב וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: (אָמֵן, יְהֵא שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא מְבָרַךְ לְעָלַם וּלְעָלְמֵי עָלְמַיָּא. יִתְבָּרֵךְ) in your lifetime and in your days and during the lifetime of the entire House of Yisrael, speedily and soon. Let all say: Amen. (Cong. then sheliach tzibbur: Amen. May His great name be blessed forever and ever. May it be blessed!) יִתְבָּרֵךְ, וְיִשְׁתַּבַּח, וְיִתְפָּאֵר, וְיִתְרוֹמָם, וְיִתְנַשֵּׂא, וְיִתְהַדָּר, וְיִתְעַלֶּה, וְיִתְהַלָּל, שְׁמֵהּ דְּקוּדְשָׁא בְּרִיךְ הוּא.(אמן) May the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, be blessed, praised, glorified, exalted, extolled, honored, lauded and acclaimed (Cong. responds: Amen) לְעֵֽלָּא מִן כָּל בִּרְכָתָא וְשִׁירָתָא, תֻּשְׁבְּחָתָא וְנֶחֱמָתָא, דַּאֲמִירָן בְּעָלְמָא, וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:(אמן) above all the blessings, hymns, praises and words of consolation that are recited in this world. Let all say: Amen. (Cong. responds: Amen) עַל יִשְׂרָאֵל וְעַל רַבָּנָן, וְעַל תַּלְמִידֵיהוֹן וְעַל כָּל תַּלְמִידֵי תַלְמִידֵיהוֹן, וְעַל כָּל מָאן דְּעָסְקִין בְּאוֹרַיְתָא, דִּי בְאַתְרָא הָדֵין וְדִי בְכָל אֲתַר וַאֲתַר, יְהֵא לְהוֹן וּלְכוֹן שְׁלָמָא רַבָּא חִנָּא וְחִסְדָּא וְרַחֲמִין וְחַיִּין אֲרִיכִין וּמְזוֹנָא רְוִיחָא וּפוּרְקָנָא מִן קֳדָם אֲבוּהוֹן דְּבִשְׁמַיָּא וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:(אמן) Upon Yisrael, upon the sages, upon their students and upon all the students of their students, and upon all those who occupy themselves with the Torah, in this place and in every other place, may they — and you all — be granted abundant peace, grace, kindness, mercy, long life, ample sustenance and redemption, from their Father in heaven. Let all say: Amen. (Cong. responds: Amen) יְהֵא שְׁלָמָא רַבָּא מִן שְׁמַיָּא וְחַיִּים טוֹבִים עָלֵֽינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל, וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:(אמן) May abundant peace be grantedfrom Heaventogether witha good life for us and for all of Yisrael. Let all say: Amen. (Cong. responds: Amen) עֹשֶׂה (הַשָּׁלוֹם) שָׁלוֹם בִּמְרוֹמָיו, הוּא יַעֲשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם עָלֵֽינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל, וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:(אמן) May He Who brings about peace [During the Ten Days of Repentance one should say HaShalom, “the peace”] in His lofty realms bring peace upon us and for all Yisrael. Let all say: Amen. (Cong. responds: Amen) Previous079 – Kaddish Derabbanan – Part 1 More in this section 079 – Kaddish Derabbanan – Part 1 078 – Rabbi Yishmael's 13 Principles – Part 4 077 – Rabbi Yishmael's 13 Principles – Part 3 076 – Rabbi Yishmael's 13 Principles – Part 2 075 – Rabbi Yishmael's 13 Principles – Part 1 074 – Parshat Tzitzit 073 – Vayomer – Part 2 072 – Vayomer – Part 1 071 – VeHayah Im Shamoa – Part 2 070 – VeHayah Im Shamoa – Part 1 069 – V'Ahavta – Part 2 068 – V'Ahavta – Part 1 067 – Morning Prayers: Abbaye Would Recount the Order of the Offerings 066 – Baruch Shem – Part 1 065 – Kriat Shema – Part 3 064 – Kriat Shema – Part 2 063 – Kriat Shema – Part 1 062 – Yehi Ratzon, Karban Tamid – Part 4 061 – Yehi Ratzon, Karban Tamid – Part 3 060 – Yehi Ratzon, Karban Tamid – Part 2 059 – Yehi Ratzon, Karban Tamid – Part 1 058 – Trumat Hadeshen – Part 2 057 – Trumat Hadeshen – Part 1 056 – Kriat Shema Ketana – Part 2 055 – Kriat Shema Ketana – Part 1 054 – But We Are Your Nation – Part 2 053 – But We Are Your Nation – Part 1 052 – A Person Should Always Be God-Fearing in Private – Part 2 051 – A Person Should Always Be God-Fearing in Private – Part 1 050 – Master of the World – Part 2 049 – Master of the World – Part 1 048 – Akeidas Yitzchak – Part 3 047 – Akeidas Yitzchak – Part 2 046 – Akeidas Yitzchak – Part 1 045 – Our God and God of Our Fathers 044 – Adon Olam – Part 2 043 – Adon Olam – Part 1 042 – How Pleasing Are Your Tents – Part 1 041 – Hareini Mekabel – Part 2 040 – Hareini Mekabel – Part 1

When one concludes the twelve-month mourning period following a parent's passing, an event called an "Arayat" is customarily held. The word "Arayat" means "reading," and the event is so named because portions of Tehillim and of certain Kabbalistic works are read. Food is normally served as the event. Hacham Ovadia Yosef ruled that if a person wishes to continue reciting Kaddish even after the twelve-month mourning period, he may do so, and this will bring benefit to the deceased's soul. Although the standard punishment in Gehinam lasts for only twelve months, Rav Haim Vital (1543-1620) writes that some wicked people are not even ready to be brought to Gehinam immediately after their death, and thus their period of suffering in Gehinam – which could last up to twelve months – might begin only some time after death. Therefore, there is benefit to the Kaddish recitation even beyond the twelve-month mourning period. In fact, the Hesed La'alafim (Rav Eliezer Papo, 1785-1828) instructed his sone to recite Kaddish after his passing at least once a day for the rest of their lives. Nevertheless, this is not the commonly accepted practice. Generally speaking, people recite Kaddish for their parents after the first twelve months only following a Torah class or Tehillim reading, but not during the prayer service. Sometimes, a Rabbi might advise a congregant to continue reciting Kaddish after the first year of mourning in order to encourage the congregant to continue attending the prayers. Summary: Although there is benefit to reciting Kaddish for a deceased parent even after the twelve-month mourning period, it is customary not to, except after a Torah class or Tehillim reading.

After the passing of a parent, Heaven forbid, the child observes a twelve-month period of mourning, and thus, fundamentally, Kaddish should be recited for that entire period. However, the Rama (Rav Moshe Isserles, Poland, 1530-1572) brings (Y.D. 376) Poskim who ruled that the mourner should stop reciting Kaddish after eleven months. This is due to the Mishna's teaching in Masechet Eduyot (2:10) that the wicked are punished in Gehinam for twelve months. If a mourner recites Kaddish for a parent for twelve months, this might give the impression that he considers his parent a wicked person, Heaven forbid, such that the parent requires twelve months of Kaddish to be spared the punishments of Gehinam. Therefore, some Poskim rule that the child should recite Kaddish for only eleven months. A second custom is mentioned by the Kenesset Ha'gedola (Rav Haim Benvenisti, Turkey, 1603-1673), who writes that he instructed people to stop reciting Kaddish one week before the culmination of the twelve-month mourning period. By contrast, the Sha'ar Ha'kavanot (Rav Haim Vital, 1542-1620) cites the Arizal's teaching that a mourner should recite Kaddish for a parent throughout the year of mourning. The Arizal emphasized that Kaddish is recited even on Shabbat and Yom Tob, when the wicked receive a respite from the punishments of Gehinam. This demonstrates, the Arizal explained, that reciting Kaddish does more for the deceased parent than simple extricate the soul from Gehinam; it also elevates the soul to higher levels in Gan Eden. Publicly declaring G-d's greatness fulfills the Misva of Kiddush Hashem – glorifying the Name of G-d, which is the greatest Misva a person can perform. In fact, some Kabbalists teach that the Misva of Kiddush Hashem can rectify even the most grievous sins. The merit of the Kaddish recitation, then, brings immense benefits to the deceased parent's soul, beyond protecting the soul from the punishments of Gehinam. Therefore, the Arizal maintained that reciting Kaddish for the entire year of mourning does not necessarily give the indication that one considers his parent a wicked person. Accordingly, the Hida (Rav Haim Yosef David Azulai, 1724-1806) writes that the custom in Italy, Egypt and Jerusalem was to recite Kaddish for twelve full months. Nevertheless, the Hida recommended refraining from reciting Kaddish for one week. Similarly, the Ben Ish Hai (Rav Yosef Haim Baghdad, 1833-1909), in his Rav Pe'alim, writes that the custom in Baghdad was to conduct a memorial service (Arayat) after eleven months to signify that the deceased is not considered a sinner, after which the mourners would refrain from reciting Kaddish for one week, and then resume reciting Kaddish until the end of the twelfth month. This is, indeed, the common practice in our community – to refrain from Kaddish for one week at the beginning of the twelfth month, and to then resume the Kaddish recitation until the end of the month. It should be noted that this entire discussion applies only to the Kaddish recitations in the prayer service. The Kaddish recited after Torah learning or after the reading of Tehillim is recited by a mourner throughout the twelve months, even during the week when he abstains from Kaddish during the prayer service. Additionally, Hacham David Yosef, in Halacha Berura, cites his father, Hacham Ovadia, as ruling that if a mourner serves as Hazzan, then he recites all the Kaddishim included in the prayer service, even during the first week of the twelfth month. Summary: Different customs exist as to when a mourner stops reciting Kaddish for a deceased parent. The generally accepted custom in our community is to stop reciting Kaddish during the first week of the twelfth month, and to then resume reciting Kaddish until the end of the month. Even during that week, the mourner recites Kaddish after Torah learning and Tehillim reading, and if he serves as Hazzan, then he recites all the Kaddishim that are part of the prayer service.

If a mourner is reciting Pesukeh De'zimra when the congregation reaches the point where the mourners recite Kaddish – just before Alenu, at the end of the service – is the mourner allowed to interrupt his Pesukeh De'zimra recitation to say Kaddish? As a rule, it is forbidden to interrupt Pesukeh De'zimra, and the question thus arises whether reciting Kaddish for a parent qualifies as an exception where interrupting Pesukeh De'zimra is justified. The Mishna and Gemara in Masechet Berachot address the situation where a person is reciting Shema, or the blessings before or after Shema, when his father passes by. Strictly speaking, Halacha permits the person to interrupt his recitation for the sake of extending a greeting his father. As a practical matter, this Halacha does not apply nowadays, because protocols for greeting parents are not as formal as they were in the past, and thus it is not necessary to interrupt one's prayer in order to extend a greeting to a parent. However, the concept underlying this Halacha is relevant with regard to the Kaddish recitation. Reciting Kaddish for a parent fulfills the Misva of Kibbud Ab Va'em (honoring parents), and we therefore apply the rule that was observed in the past regarding respectful greetings to one's parent during the prayer service. The benefit brought to the deceased parent's soul through the recitation of Kaddish indeed justifies interrupting Pesukeh De'zimra, and thus the person in this case should recite the mourners' Kaddish together with the congregation. If the person sees that the congregation will soon arrive at the point of the mourners' Kaddish, he should, if possible, complete the Mizmor (chapter) that he is currently reciting, as it is preferable to make an interruption in between two Mizmorim instead of interrupting a Mizmor. Summary: If a mourner is reciting Pesukeh De'zimra when the congregation reaches the point of the mourners' Kaddish, he should interrupt Pesukeh De'zimra to recite Kaddish. Preferably, he should try to complete the Mizmor (chapter) that he currently recites before Kaddish need to be recited, so he does not interrupt a Mizmor.

When a non-Jew undergoes conversion and becomes a Jew, he is, halachically speaking, no longer related to his biological parents. Nevertheless, if a convert's parent passes away, it is appropriate for him to recite Kaddish to benefit the parent's soul. He of course owes his parents a debt of gratitude for bringing him into the world and caring for him, and so it is proper recite Kaddish to benefit their soul. Although the parents are not Jewish, nevertheless, the Kaddish recitation enables their souls to rest peacefully in the afterlife, and it spares them from punishment. This is the ruling of Hacham Ovadia Yosef, who noted the discussion of Tosafot (Sota 10b) regarding King David's prayers for the soul of his son, Abshalom. Tosafot establish that although a person's Misvot cannot benefit the soul of his deceased child (the way a person's Misvot benefit the soul of a deceased parent), a person's prayers can benefit his deceased child's soul. And thus King David's prayers to elevate his son's soul from Gehinam were effective. Hacham Ovadia applied this principle to the case of a convert. Since Halacha does not regard the convert as the biological parent's child, his Misvot cannot benefit the parent's soul, but his prayers can benefit the parent's soul. Therefore, it would be appropriate for the convert to recite Kaddish for the deceased parent. An adopted child should recite Kaddish for the parents who adopted him and raised him. He of course owes them an enormous debt of gratitude for all they did for him, raising him, caring for him, and assuming responsibility for him, and so he should recite Kaddish after their passing to benefit their souls. Summary: It is appropriate for a convert to recite Kaddish for his deceased parent. Likewise, a person who was adopted should recite Kaddish for the parents who adopted him and cared for him.

The Gemara in Masechet Yebamot (62b) teaches that grandchildren are considered like children. One application of this principle is the ruling of the Rama (Rav Moshe Isserles, Poland, 1530-1572) that the obligation of Kibbud Ab Ve'aem (honoring parents) includes a requirement to give honor to one's grandparents. Accordingly, Hacham Ovadia Yosef ruled that there is a Misva to recite Kaddish for a deceased grandparent, as this benefits the grandparent's soul and thus fulfills the Misva of Kibbud Ab Va'em. Indeed, the Kensset Ha'gedola (Rav Haim Benvenisti, Turkey, 1603-1673) writes that he instructed his sons to recite Kaddish for their grandmother. However, if one's parent is still alive, he should first request the parent's permission, as some people do not feel comfortable with their children reciting Kaddish. Although it is a Misva to recite Kaddish for a grandparent, this is not commonly done, unless there is nobody else to recite Kaddish for the grandparent. Hacham Ovadia cites Rav Menahem Azarya Mi'Fano (Italy, 1548-1620) as stating that there is no obligation to recite Kaddish for one's deceased wife. Nevertheless, it is customary to do so, and a husband's recitation of Kaddish for his wife brings greater benefit to her soul than Kaddish recited by somebody who is not related to her. Summary: It is a Misva to recite Kaddish for a deceased grandparent, provided that one's living parents allow him to do so, though this is not customarily done unless there is nobody else to recite Kaddish for the grandparent. It is customary to recite Kaddish for one's deceased wife, even though this is not strictly required.

If a person who had a daughter but no sons passed away, may the daughter recite Kaddish for her deceased parent? The Shebut Yaakob (Rav Yaakob Reischer, 1661-1733) ruled that a daughter may recite Kaddish for a parent if ten men assembled in her home, but not in the synagogue. Likewise, the Teshuba Me'ahaba (Rav Elazar Fleckeles, 1754-1826) writes that this was done in Amsterdam, with the approval of the local Rabbis. He adds that it was customary in Prague for elderly men and women to sit in the Ezrat Nashim (women's section) of the synagogue and recite Tehillim all morning, and if there was a girl whose parent had passed away without sons, the daughter would recite Kaddish after the Tehillim reading. This was done in the Ezrat Nashim, but not in the main section of the synagogue. The Teshuba Me'ahaba explained that women are no less obligated in the Misva of honoring parents than men, and so they should have the opportunity to benefit the soul of their departed parent through the recitation of Kaddish. Although this should not be done in the public setting of the synagogue, it is permissible if a private Minyan is formed. Hacham Ovadia Yosef concurred with this ruling. A solution in such a case is for the family to appoint a man to recite Kaddish for the deceased. Rav Yosef Kolon (France, 15 th century) ruled that one may recite Kaddish for somebody who was not a relative. He adds, based on an earlier source, that one may recite Kaddish for the souls of several different people, and so even if somebody is already reciting Kaddish for a parent, he may be asked to recite Kaddish also for a person who left the world without sons. Similarly, the Elya Rabba (Rav Eliyahu Spira, Prague, 1660-1712) writes that if somebody needs to travel during the year of mourning, and will be unable to recite Kaddish for a period of time, he should hire somebody to recite Kaddish on his behalf during that period. It should be noted that there was a custom that the Rabbi would recite the final Kaddish – the Kaddish before Alenu – for the benefit of all those who had passed away without sons. Although this is not our custom, it demonstrates that when there are no men to recite Kaddish, this can be assigned to somebody else, even a person who is not related to the deceased. Summary: If a person passed away without sons, and the daughter wishes to recite Kaddish for the parent, she may if a private Minyan is assembled in her home. The preferred solution, however, is for the family to appoint somebody – even someone who is not related to the deceased – to recite Kaddish for the deceased. This may be done even by someone who is already reciting Kaddish for his own parent.

Rav Shmuel Vital (1598-1677) writes that the custom in his time was to permit even young children to recite Kaddish for a deceased parent, Heaven forbid. Others, however, opposed this practice. Some Poskim permitted a child to recite Kaddish only if he is at least six years old and understands the concept of praying to Hashem. There were also Poskim who forbade any child under the age of Bar-Misva from reciting Kaddish for the congregation. Hacham Ovadia Yosef ruled that strictly speaking, if a child is at least six years old and understands the general concept of prayer, he may recite Kaddish for the congregation for a deceased parent, Heaven forbid. Preferably, however, an adult should recite the Kaddish with the child. Hacham Ovadia made an exception in the case of the Kaddish recitation following the reading of Tehillim, which to begin with is not obligatory. Since this Kaddish recitation is not an outright requirement, it may be recited by a child even if no adult recites it with him. Hacham Bension Abba Shaul (Jerusalem, 1924-1998) ruled more leniently, allowing a youngster age six and above to recite Kaddish alone even during the prayer service. He noted the Halacha permitting a child at this age to receive an Aliya, which includes leading the recitation of Barechu. By the same token, then, a child may recite Kaddish. Summary: A child age six or above, who understands the concept of prayer, may recite Kaddish for a deceased parent, Heaven forbid, though according to some opinions, there should preferably be an adult reciting Kaddish with him. When it comes to the Kaddish recited after the reading of Tehillim, according to all opinions a child age six or above may recite this Kaddish alone.

Following the Torah reading on Monday and Thursday, it is customary for the Kaddish to be recited by somebody who is observing the year of mourning for a parent. There is considerable controversy surrounding the question of asking the cantor to recite the Hashkaba prayer for a deceased parent beyond the year of mourning. Rav Yaakob Molcho (Jerusalem, 17 th century) is cited as asserting that it is improper to make a Hashkaba except during the year of mourning and during the week of the Yahrtzeit. He explained that when the Hashkaba is made, the deceased's soul descends from the heavens, and it cannot return unless a charitable donation is made in the deceased's merit. It is therefore not to the deceased's benefit to recite the Hashkaba prayer outside the usual times. However, the Ben Ish Hai (Rav Yosef Haim of Baghdad, 1833-1909), in his Rav Pe'alim, disagreed. He writes that there is no source in the Kabbalistic works for such a notion, that the departed soul descends from the heaven as a result of the Hashkaba and then requires charity to return, and so there is no reason for concern. In fact, the Ben Ish Hai brings a passage from the writings of the Arizal that appears to contradict the theory advanced by Rav Yaakob Molcho. Hacham Ovadia Yosef, his Hazon Ovadia – Abelut, accepts the Ben Ish Hai's position, and writes that it is proper to occasionally have the Hashkaba prayer recited in memory of a deceased parent, even after the first year, and not only on the Yahrtzeit. By contrast, Hacham Baruch Ben-Haim discouraged this practice. One should consult with his Rabbi for practical guidance. Summary: Different opinions exist as to whether the Hashkaba prayer should be recited only during the first year after a parent's passing, and during the week of the Yahrtzeit, or if it is commendable to recite the Hashkaba occasionally even beyond the first year, and even when it is not the Yahrtzeit. One should consult with his Rabbi for guidance on this matter.

After a family member's passing, one has the status of "Onen" until the burial. During this period, he is exempt from Misvot, and thus he does not recite Kaddish. If, however, a family member is not tending to the funeral preparations, then he may recite Kaddish for the parent. Thus, for example, if a loved one passed away on Friday night, or during the night of Yom Tob, one may recite Kaddish, since he is unable to tend to funeral preparations on Shabbat or Yom Tob. Even on a weekday, a person may recite Kaddish for a loved one once the Hebra Kaddisha has assumed responsibility for the burial. This is the ruling of Hacham Ovadia Yosef, based on a responsum of the Noda Bi'yehuda (Rav Yechezkel Landau, Prague, 1713-1793). Similarly, it is customary for the mourners to recite Kaddish at the funeral after the eulogies, just before the body is taken for burial. Although the family members still have the status of "Onen" at that point – as the deceased has not yet been buried – they are nevertheless allowed to recite Kaddish, and, as mentioned, this is the accepted practice.

The Poskim addressed the situation of a man who, after his wife's passing, asks his son not to recite Kaddish for her. He might feel uneasy about his son saying Kaddish because people who see this might mistakenly think that he, the father, had passed away, or might just ask questions which would make the father uncomfortable. Should the son obey his father's wishes, or should he recite Kaddish in defiance of his father to honor his mother's memory? The preferred solution in this case is for the son to ask a Rabbi or someone else whom the father respects to speak to the father and try to change his mind. The anxiety that some people feel when it comes to Kaddish, while understandable, is unnecessary. There is no risk whatsoever to a person if his child recites Kaddish, and there is no reason for concern. However, if the father's mind cannot be changed, and he insists that his son not recite Kaddish for his mother, then the son should obey his father's wishes and ask somebody else to recite Kaddish for his mother.

In a previous installment, we discussed the great value of the Kaddish recitation for a deceased parent, and how it benefits the parent's soul. The Hida (Rav Haim Yosef David Azulai, 1724-1806) emphasizes in particular the value of the Kaddish recited following the reading of Tehillim. He writes that this Kaddish recitation has the ability to protect a parent's soul from harmful forces in the afterlife. However, notwithstanding the great importance and value of Kaddish, one must realize that other Misvot, too, bring great benefit to a parent's soul. The Gemara (Sanhedrin 104) teaches, "Bera Mezakeh Abba" – a son brings merit to his father through the observance of Misvot. Elsewhere (Erubin 70), the Gemara states that a son is "Kareh De'abu'ah" – his father's "leg." After one leaves this world, he is no longer capable of performing Misvot, and so he is unable to rise to greater heights in the afterlife – if not for his children, whose Misva observance brings him merit. In this sense, a child is the parent's "leg," enabling the parent to move forward despite being unable to continue fulfilling Misvot. In particular, besides Kaddish, learning Torah and giving charity in a parent's memory bring immense benefit to the soul. Additionally, a son benefits his parent's soul by reading the Haftara for the congregation. Many people assume that the Aliya of "Mashlim" is the preferred Aliya to receive in the synagogue, because it comes with the recitation of Kaddish. However, Hacham Ovadia Yosef maintained that Maftir is even greater, because of the special benefits granted to a parent's soul through the reading of the Haftara. Therefore, if a person has the choice between these two Aliyot, then – assuming he is capable of reading the Haftara properly – he should choose the Aliya of Maftir. The practice in some Ashkenazic communities is that only one person recites Kaddish. There as entire literature in Ashkenazic halachic sources determining the order of precedence when several people wish to recite Kaddish for a departed loved one. Unfortunately, this practice often led to a great deal of strife, as people vied and competed with one another for the privilege of reciting Kaddish, prompting a number of leading Ashkenazic Poskim to adopt the Sephardic model, whereby all who need to recite Kaddish do so together in unison. The Hatam Sofer (Rav Moshe Sofer, Pressburg, 1762-1839) changed the practice in his yeshiva to follow the Sephardic custom in order to avoid strife. And Rav Yaakob Emden (Germany, 1697-1776), in his commentary to the Siddur, writes that he decided to omit the discussion of precedence with regard to Kaddish, because the Sephardic custom, that the people recite Kaddish together, is preferable, as it avoids strife and conflict. The work Yesh Nohalim emphasizes that a person's performance of Misvot is far more beneficial to his parent's soul than his recitation of Kaddish, and his "hair would rise" when he saw conflicts arise among mourners in the synagogue over the Kaddish recitation. Such conflicts occasionally take place even in Sephardic congregations when two mourners or people observing Yahrtzeit vie for the privilege of leading the service, or for the Aliya of Mashlim. I remember that our great Rabbi, Hacham Baruch Ben-Haim, observed Yahrtzeit on the same day as one of the congregants in his synagogue, Shaare Zion, and each year, he deferred to that congregant. When asked about this practice, he explained that avoiding strife and conflict brings far more benefit to a deceased's soul than leading any part of the service. There is nothing more precious that a person can do to benefit the soul of a parent than to increase peaceful relations among Jews. People must realize that if leading the service requires anger and instigating strife, then the merits accrued are more than offset by the sins that have been committed. The Arizal taught that anger contaminates the soul, and one must immerse in a Mikveh to cleanse it afterward. Without question, there is no sense whatsoever in becoming angry and initiating a fight out of a desire to bring merit to a parent's soul. When several people recite Kaddish together, they must ensure to recite it aloud in unison, so as not to confuse the congregation.

The Or Zarua (Rav Yishak of Vienna, 13 th century) brings a Midrash that tells a remarkable story about Rabbi Akiba, who once saw a man running frantically while carrying a large stack of twigs. The man was unclothed, and his body was black like charcoal. Rabbi Akiba asked the man to stop, and offered to help. He assumed that this man was a slave working for a ruthless master, and he wanted to release him from his state of servitude so he would not have to continue suffering. The man explained to Rabbi Akiba that he actually was not from the world of the living. When he was alive, he worked as a tax collector, and he would heartlessly tax the needy into poverty while currying favor with the rich, among other grave misdeeds. His punishment was that he needed to collect firewood every day, to be then burned in the fire. The only chance to end this suffering, the man told Rabbi Akiba, was for his son to recite Kaddish or lead the recitation of Barechu in the synagogue. He had died when his wife was pregnant with their only child. Rabbi Akiba asked the man about his wife's name and place of residence, and he went to find this man's child. When he asked the townspeople about the widow and her child, they angrily cursed the deceased man who was so cruel and heartless, driving many people to destitution. Rabbi Akiba learned that the man had a son, but he was not even circumcised, and certainly never learned Torah such that he would be in a position to recite Kaddish. After finding the young man, Rabbi Akiba convinced him to have a berit mila . He tried teaching him Torah, but the young man had extreme difficulty learning. Rabbi Akiba fasted for forty days, beseeching G-d to help the boy learn. He was then able to teach him. Eventually, when the young man was ready, Rabbi Akiba brought him to the synagogue, and he recited Kaddish and Barechu. Rabbi Akiba continued teaching this young man Torah, until he emerged as a great scholar, known as Rabbi Nahum Ha'pakoli. The name "Ha'pakoli" alludes to the verse in the Book of Yeshayahu (28:7), "Paku Peliliya" – "He who extracts the guilty," which is precisely what Rabbi Nahum did, rescuing his sinful father from eternal suffering. The father appeared Rabbi Akiba in a dream and wished him that he be granted a distinguished place in Gan Eden. He explained that after his son recited Kaddish and Barechu, he was relieved of the suffering that had been decreed. When the son began learning Torah regularly, he was no longer subject to any punishment. And when the son was ordained as a Rabbi, he was brought to Gan Eden to join the Sadikim. This is an early source of the time-honored custom to recite Kaddish on behalf of one's deceased parent, which has the effect of sparing the parent from punishments in the afterlife. Another source is a passage in Tanna De'beh Eliyahu, brought by Rabbi Eliezer of Worms (Germany, d. 1238), which states that even a small child can save his father from the punishments of Gehinam through the recitation of Kaddish. Moreover, the Yad Eliyahu writes that by reciting Kaddish for a deceased parent, one fulfills the Misva of Kibbud Ab Va'em – honoring one's parent. In fact, the Yad Eliyahu adds, one has more of an opportunity to fulfill the Misva of Kibbud Ab Va'em after a parent's passing, since during the parent's lifetime, the parent can decline the child's offers to give honor. After the parent's passing, however, the parent cannot refuse the recitation of Kaddish – and even if the parent never requested that Kaddish be recited after his or her death, the child must assume that this was the parent's wish. As Kibbud Ab Va'em constitutes a Torah obligation, we follow the rule that one must act stringently in situations of uncertainty ("Safek De'Orayta Le'humra"), and thus a child must, under all circumstances, recite Kaddish for a deceased parent. Similarly, Rav Yosef Engel (1858-1919) writes that reciting Kaddish is the highest form of Kibbud Ab Va'em, as there is nothing greater that one can do for a parent than bring the parent to Gan Eden, which is what a child achieves by reciting Kaddish. Our community can be proud that this practice is meticulously observed, virtually without exception. Even when people travel, if they are in the first year after a parent's passing, Heaven forbid, they ensure to have a Minyan available so as not to miss even a single recitation of Kaddish. This is a testament to our community's awareness of the great importance of this cherished custom, and of our community's strong dedication to the precious Misva of Kibbud Ab Va'em. Importantly, however, Hacham Ovadia cites the Yosef Ometz as noting that the Kaddish recitation was instituted for those who are unable to benefit their parents' souls through the study of Torah. The benefit brought through Torah study is many times greater than the recitation of Kaddish, and if one arrives at a Hiddush (a novel Torah insight) while learning in his parent's memory, he brings immeasurable honor to the parent's soul in the afterlife. Therefore, as important as it of course is to recite Kaddish for a deceased parent, it is even more important to devote time to learn Torah in the parent's memory, as this is the greatest thing one can do for a deceased parent's soul. Many parents, understandably, are troubled by the exorbitant cost of Torah education. However, while the problem is real, and should be addressed, at the same time, we must maintain a proper perspective and realize that no matter how much money parents pay for their children to receive a Torah education, the dividends are infinitely greater. There is no price tag that one can place on eternal life in Gan Eden, and being spared the punishments of Gehinam. By providing their children with a proper religious education, parents ensure that their children will recite Kaddish and learn Torah in their memory, thereby guaranteeing their place in Gan Eden for all eternity – and we can all agree that there is no price too high for that.

The Kaddish text (specifically, "Kaddish Titkabal" and "Kaddish Yeheh Shelama") concludes with the famous prayer for peace: "Oseh Shalom Bi'mromav Hu Ya'aseh Shalom Alenu Ve'al Kol Yisrael, Ve'imru Amen" – "He who makes peace in His high places shall bestow peace upon us and upon all Israel, and say: Amen." This prayer, as we know, also concludes the silent Amida and Birkat Ha'mazon, and for good reason – because the most important thing we can pray for is peace. The previous line in Kaddish also prays for peace ("Yeheh Shelama Rabba" – "May there be an abundance of peace…"), but the prayer of "Oseh Shalom Bi'mromav" adds a particular element of our wishes for peace. We speak of Hashem bringing peace in the upper worlds ("Oseh Shalom Bi'mromav"), a reference to the peace and harmony that exists among the angels in heavens. These include an angel of water and angel of fire, which should, at first glance, be archrivals, and should be in a constant state of competition and tension. In truth, however, Hashem maintains the peace in the heavens – even among diametrically opposite forces. We thus pray that here on earth, too, we should have peace among different people, and among those with different opinions. Hashem specifically created the world such that no two people are the same. No two people think exactly alike, view things exactly alike, or have the exact same preferences, likes and dislikes. In the prayer of "Oseh Shalom," we ask Hashem to maintain the peace among people despite their differences, to help all of us live harmoniously with those who are unlike us. The Torah allows room – within certain limits, of course – for a wide range of different opinions and ideas, and we are encouraged to form opinions, but to show respect toward those who think differently than we do. It is no coincidence that just before we leave the synagogue, at the end of the final Kaddish, we recite the prayer of "Oseh Shalom," as we beseech G-d to help us as we go out and interact with many different kinds of people, to ensure that we can engage them peacefully and respectfully. It is customary during the Aseret Yemeh Teshuba (the ten-day period from Rosh Hashanah through Yom Kippur) to slightly emend the text at the end of "Kaddish Titkabal," by reciting "Oseh Ha'shalom" instead of "Oseh Shalom." Hacham Ovadia Yosef ruled that this change is made only in "Kaddish Titkabal" recited by the Hazzan after repeating the Amida – meaning, at Shaharit, Musaf and Minha, but not at Arbit. The reason for this change is that the Gematria of the word "Ha'shalom" is 381, and thus alludes to the angel "Safri-el" whose name equals this same number, and who is assigned the task of counting our merits during the High Holidays so we receive a favorable judgment. The Hazzan should try to have this in mind when reciting "Oseh Ha'shalom" at the end of Kaddish. However, although this is a proper practice, the Hazzan does not need to repeat this line if he mistakenly recited the usual text. (In fact, the word "Oseh" also equals 381, so this allusion is made even if the Hazzan forgets to recite "Ha'shalom.") Before reciting "Oseh Shalom," one should take three steps back, by first moving the left foot back such that the toes are aligned with the heel of the right foot, then moving the right foot such that the toes are aligned with the heel of the left foot, and finally moving the left back next to the right foot. One should then bow to the left and recite "Oseh Shalom Bi'mromav," bow to the right and recite "Hu Ya'aseh Shalom Alenu," and then bow to the center and recite "Ve'al Kol Yisrael." He should then rise and say, "Ve'imru Amen." Rav Haim Palachi (Turkey, 1788-1868) asserted that the correct way to divide this sentence is to pause after the word "Shalom," and then recite "Alenu Ve'al Kol Yisrael." This is in contrast to the common practice to recite "Hu Ya'aseh Shalom Alenu," and then "Ve'al Kol Yisrael." And the way we bow – bowing to the right for "Hu Ya'aseh Shalom Alenu," and then bowing to the center for "Ve'al Kol Yisrael," as explained – seems more consistent with the conventional practice of pausing between "Alenu" and "Ve'al Kol." It seems that according to Rav Haim Palachi, when bowing to the center, one must pause after the word "Shalom," before saying "Alenu." Summary: Before reciting "Oseh Shalom," one should take three steps back, bow to the left and recite "Oseh Shalom Bi'mromav," bow to the right and recite "Hu Ya'aseh Shalom Alenu," and then bow to the center and recite "Ve'al Kol Yisrael." He should then rise and say, "Ve'imru Amen." During the period from Rosh Hashanah through Yom Kippur, the word "Shalom" in "Oseh Shalom Bi'mromav" at the end of Kaddish is changed to "Ha'shalom." This change is made only by the Hazzan when he recites "Kaddish Titkabal" at Shaharit, Musaf and Minha.

In the "Kaddish Yeheh Shelama," which is recited by mourners at the end of the prayer service, we make twelve requests, asking for: "Shelama Rabba" (an abundance of peace), "Haim" (life), "Saba" (satiation), "Yeshua" (salvation), "Nehama" (consolation), "Shezaba" (protection), "Refua" (health), "Ge'ula" (redemption), "Seliha" (forgiveness), "Kapara" (atonement), "Revah" ("relief"), and "Hasala" (deliverance). These twelve requests correspond to the twelve tribes of Israel – which were founded by the twelve righteous sons of Yaakob Abinu – and we pray to Hashem to grant us these wishes in their merit. The word "Revah" (translated above as "relief") could also refer to material prosperity. The Arizal taught that the Name of G-d associated with Parnasa (livelihood) is Het-Tav-Chaf. This Name is alluded to in the verse "Pote'ah Et Yadecha U'masbia Le'chol Hai Rason" ("You open Your hand and wilfully satiate every living creature" – Tehillim 145:16), as the final letters of the words "Pote'ah et Yadecha" are Het, Tav and Chaf. These letters in Gematria equal 428 (8+400+20), which is twice the Gematria of the word "Revah" (200+6+8=214). In "Kaddish Yeheh Shelama," we say "Ve'revah" – with the letter Vav appearing before the word "Revah." Now Rashi (Bereshit 27:28) comments that the word "Ve'yiten" ("And He shall give") means that G-d should give and then give again ("Yiten Ve'yahazor Ve'yiten"). The word "Ve'revah," then, might also refer to a double blessing of "Revah" – or twice 214, for a total of 428. The word "Ve'revah," then, perhaps alludes to the special Name of Parnasa – Het-Tav-Chaf. This might be the reason why many have the custom to loudly exclaim "Ve'revah" during Kaddish – emphasizing the desire to access this special Name and thereby earn a comfortable livelihood.

In the "Kaddish De'Rabbanan" – known as "Kaddish Al Yisrael" – a special prayer is offered on behalf of the Torah scholars and their students. We pray for the wellbeing of the Rabbis, and for "Talmidihon Ve'al Talmideh Talmidehon" – "their students, and their students' students" – that is, for three generations of scholars. This parallels the verse in the Book of Yeshayahu (59:21) in which Hashem promises that the words of the Torah will not depart "from your mouth, from the mouth of your offspring, or from the mouth of your offspring's offspring." The Gemara derives from this verse that if three generations in a family study Torah, then Torah is guaranteed to remain in that family for all generations in the future. Correspondingly, we pray for the scholars, their students, and their students' students. We speak in this prayer of scholars "De'askin Be'Orayta Kadishta" – "who engage in the sacred Torah." Since the word "Orayta" (Torah) is a feminine noun, the adjective must likewise be in the feminine form – "Kadishta" – and not in the masculine form – "Kadisha." One must therefore ensure to recite "Kadishta," with the letter Tav. We emphasize that we pray for these blessings on behalf of scholars in this land and "Be'chol Atar Ve'atar" – in any place, no matter where they are. Some communities have the custom of reciting this phrase as "De'yatbin Ve'askin Be'Orayta Kadishta" – adding the word "De'yatbin" ("who sit…"). Although this is the practice among Moroccan and Tunisian communities, this is not the custom among Syrian Jews. Different versions exist for the phrase "Yeheh Lana U'lechon U'lehon" ("There shall be for us and for you and for them…"), as in some editions, the words "Lehon" and "Lechon" are reversed: "Yeheh Lana U'lehon U'lechon." Hacham Ovadia Yosef maintained that the correct text is "Yeheh Lana U'lechon U'lehon," as it is proper to first extend a blessing "to you" – to those who are present, and only then to others. We pray that Hashem should grant the scholars "Hina Ve'hisda Ve'rahameh" – "grace, kindness and compassion." The word "Hina" is Aramaic for the Hebrew word "Hen" ("grace"), which is sometimes translated as "charm." It denotes an intangible quality that some people have which leads others to like them and wish to deal kindly with them. In order to succeed in life, we need a degree of "Hen," a certain likeability that earns us people's favor and goodwill, and so we bless the scholars that they should not only receive Hashem's kindness and compassion, but also be granted "Hen." Some commentators explain that these three wishes – "Hina, Ve'hisda, Ve'rahameh" – correspond to Abraham, Yishak and Yaakob.