Podcasts about like no

9PODCASTS
19EPISODES
30mAVG DURATION
1EPISODE EVERY OTHER WEEK
Jul 30, 2021LATEST

POPULARITY

20172018201920202021202220232024

Best podcasts about like no

Sales Funnel Radio

2 episodes with like no

Day Dreams and Nightmares with To_42

4 episodes with like no

Latest podcast episodes about like no

He kept circling around me - True Scary Stories - Volume 4

Day Dreams and Nightmares with To_42

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 30, 2021 20:01

True Scary Stories – Stories said to be true but the author. These can be creepy encounters, people you don't want to meet, or odd things that happened Welcome new and old friends. Today we have 4 true scary stories. #TrueScaryStories #Horror #Reddit All my links: https://linktr.ee/To42 (https://linktr.ee/To42) Got a story? E-mail me at To42reads@Gmail.com I upload every Friday and Sunday. Friday is Day/gaming and Sunday is Night. Saturdays I have a coffee live stream. This Channel is about stories of day and night. Day Stories are your true stories. Let's not meet, glitch in the matrix and all stories said to be true by the author. All brought to me by To. Night Stories are those fictional stories. Like No sleep, creepypasta and others like that. All brought to me by 42. *********************************** #1 Story - https://www.reddit.com/user/pugalug14/ (pugalug14) https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/comments/mxuuva/what_happened_to_my_dog/ (https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/comments/mxuuva/what_happened_to_my_dog/) #2 Story - https://www.reddit.com/user/QweenSea/ (QweenSea) https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsNotMeet/comments/l0s8y6/creepy_carpool/ (https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsNotMeet/comments/l0s8y6/creepy_carpool/) #3 Story – https://www.reddit.com/user/Nintendoll89/ (Nintendoll89) https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/comments/mxyphc/i_really_wish_i_could_have_done_something/ (https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/comments/mxyphc/i_really_wish_i_could_have_done_something/) #4 Story - https://www.reddit.com/user/AnnonymousAmongUs/ (AnnonymousAmongUs) https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/comments/mxpr1o/old_man_and_the_white_van/ (https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/comments/mxpr1o/old_man_and_the_white_van/) All stories I read I have been given permission to read by all authors. You're at the bottom, hello again friend! This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podcorn - https://podcorn.com/privacy Support this podcast

story night podcorn like no letsnotmeet

I was never allowed into the basement - Part 3 - Series of Horror - As The Raven Dreams and Dodge this 82

Day Dreams and Nightmares with To_42

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2021 26:56

Welcome new and old friends. Today as the raven dreams and dodge this 82 join me to continue “I was never allowed into the basement.”. #CreepyPasta #NoSleep #TwoSentenceHorror #FictionalStory As The Raven Dreams Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/astheravendreams As The Raven Dreams Twitter: https://twitter.com/RavensDreamYT Dodge this 82 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYBRoUqmpfZPbkjIh-zZ5vA All my links: https://linktr.ee/To42 (https://linktr.ee/To42) Got a story? E-mail me at To42reads@Gmail.com I upload every Friday and Sunday. Friday is Day/gaming and Sunday is Night. Saturdays I have a coffee live stream. This Channel is about stories of day and night. Day Stories are your true stories. Let's not meet, glitch in the matrix and all stories said to be true by the author. All brought to me by To. Night Stories are those fictional stories. Like No sleep, creepypasta and others like that. All brought to me by 42. *********************************** #1 2SH - thefoxishere16 https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/obu7yi/as_the_werewolf_inched_ever_closer_i_managed_to/ #2 2SH - sugar-soad https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/ocakso/i_lie_shackled_to_the_bed_as_my_son_prepares_to/ #3 2SH - neat-stuff https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/ocj0l3/every_day_for_the_past_30_years_ive_gone_to_work/ Main Story - https://www.reddit.com/user/FleetSteps/ (FleetSteps) https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/kcpkgq/i_was_never_allowed_in_the_basement_i_finally/ (https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/kcpkgq/i_was_never_allowed_in_the_basement_i_finally/) All stories I read I have been given permission to read by all authors. You're at the bottom, hello again friend! This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podcorn - https://podcorn.com/privacy Support this podcast

night podcorn like no

Art To Die For by dark horse - 3 Stories - Night - Horror Stories V.14

Day Dreams and Nightmares with To_42

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2021 25:22

story dark stories creepypasta podcorn like no

I'm blind and my new PA is odd. -Darkness of Emm - Night - Horror Stories V.13

Day Dreams and Nightmares with To_42

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 10, 2021 28:23

Creepypasta are horror-related legends that have been copied and pasted around the Internet. These Internet entries are often brief, user-generated, paranormal stories intended to scare readers. They include gruesome tales of murder, suicide, and otherworldly occurrences. Welcome new and old friends. Today darkness of Emm joins me to tell this story. Make sure you check them out at the end of the video https://www.youtube.com/hashtag/creepypasta (#CreepyPasta) https://www.youtube.com/hashtag/nosleep (#NoSleep) https://www.youtube.com/hashtag/twosentencehorror (#TwoSentenceHorror) https://www.youtube.com/hashtag/fictionalstory (#FictionalStory) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgkOgiw68x0&t=0s (0:00) - Intro https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgkOgiw68x0&t=36s (0:36) - #1 2SH - derf_vader https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgkOgiw68x0&t=82s (1:22) – Main Story - jtb685 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgkOgiw68x0&t=1472s (24:32) - #2 2SH - Justice_leaguee https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgkOgiw68x0&t=1489s (24:49) – Outro https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgkOgiw68x0&t=1522s (25:22) – Sunday Words Emm Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLOly0yOEPX2UN9ALLX55fg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLOl...) Emm Twitter: https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbmswZ0k0ZXcwc2hLQUEzalV5RFRuSDQ2bXhoZ3xBQ3Jtc0ttTldjTDJrMExjNmx5NHpjdG5VUEQ2NmJURlFSeUtwMHUwT0JhNjhYVHE2V0FENjdVeHU2XzBqRVNod1d2aGVwclgteldjTXhBTTBqbERiNk1DcU4xVHRwUVkydVFkRWgxZzlBNU9ySFNjNTl0UktiYw&q=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2FTheDarkSideOfE7 (https://twitter.com/TheDarkSideOfE7) Authors Reddit https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbkUzMXZFTkhvQXhpMXp2TU9icDJLYksyR21WUXxBQ3Jtc0tuSUFqZHlpeU1nd05nZlFEZVB0STlfSF9wMXU5MjJsYVpnWWpleGN1OTI3U1l2enZReGJ6YlhkcllCU3ZWbktuakpVVnladDdidXk5VGtpWWhlb1k2QkFBM2dnVWxxTjZvZjVpTVU1d1YxNmlfYlhwOA&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fjtb685%2F (https://www.reddit.com/r/jtb685/) All my links: https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqblV5NERUc3R4aGxJdkM5YXc3bnU2eXVLV3J5UXxBQ3Jtc0trS01SdHFPVHBWVy1taV9IYU5ZQlVrZ1l4Z3BhWTJZdWYySEwwNWwtbHAtNEhEdWtJSUswbm53T0wtUmpOSHdac0w3RU9hYUpremZqNlpPb1AxSmJ1cndINS1MTWhsVnRmZ0JaS0VMWnFWN2NPYndKcw&q=https%3A%2F%2Flinktr.ee%2FTo42 (https://linktr.ee/To42) Got a story? E-mail me at To42reads@Gmail.com I upload every Friday and Sunday. Friday is Day/gaming and Sunday is Night. Saturdays I have a coffee live stream. This Channel is about stories of day and night. Day Stories are your true stories. Let's not meet, glitch in the matrix and all stories said to be true by the author. All brought to me by To. Night Stories are those fictional stories. Like No sleep, creepypasta and others like that. All brought to me by 42. *********************************** #1 2SH - derf_vader https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbEFDb2prZndnLXNDYlIzaXdhZ3NJQ2lMSU96UXxBQ3Jtc0ttYV9HeGZZaFptenIwTkwxRGc2cGRLakdOVFZnR0lfTUpUd0hKcEpfTzdWZDZTbzNkbEJDY2FvLXNWcjRhQXhpY3pEWlc0UU1WZkxPZDZRQ0I0eS1VdF9lT2RQTWtUdHIxZW01QU92Ykh6bTA4Mjdxcw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2FTwoSentenceHorror%2Fcomments%2Fni60zo%2Fin_the_one_hundred_years_since_our_group_had%2F (https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceH...) #2 2SH - Justice_leaguee https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbUExc1JaZW1JTzdpbUVSM0hVRWRJTzlQOWwzd3xBQ3Jtc0ttSVlNdlVHUHFIcHJpbHFPWG50MG5oX01vNnI2NENQcmlqeFF6YnpzSkpwUGxfbDFQVlBsbDZpYlNIRTdUc1ZvVEo4aVhJOXdMTFNqcjlKZTZ5cVoyNUNkRHFIQnNJMGlIVUdhYnlOaFFlblk5X0g5Yw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2FTwoSentenceHorror%2Fcomments%2Fnkqdxw%2Fwill_this_stop_me_from_seeing_them_doctor_she%2F (https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceH...) Main Story - jtb685... Support this podcast

night internet creepypasta no sleep 2f emm like no

My band mate was in two places at once - Day Stories - 5 Glitch in the Matrix Stories - Volume 2

Day Dreams and Nightmares with To_42

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2021 22:38

Glitch in the Matrix – An account for a missing period of time or a lapse in the space-time continium. Welcome new and old friends. Today I got lost and PA helped me with this video. I hope you enjoy it. #GlitchInTheMatrix #TrueStories PA Nightmares Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxL8bW7bkGDGaWWV9c6WfCw (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxL8bW7bkGDGaWWV9c6WfCw) PA Twitter: https://twitter.com/PA_Nightmares All my links: https://linktr.ee/To42 (https://linktr.ee/To42) Got a story? E-mail me at To42reads@Gmail.com I upload every Friday and Sunday. Friday is Day/gaming and Sunday is Night. Saturdays I have a coffee live stream. This Channel is about stories of day and night. Day Stories are your true stories. Let's not meet, glitch in the matrix and all stories said to be true by the author. All brought to me by To. Night Stories are those fictional stories. Like No sleep, creepypasta and others like that. All brought to me by 42. Playlist you might like *********************************** Story 1 - I Saw my Blood Before I got Cut - Issac https://www.reddit.com/r/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/nib0ol/no_one_remembered_it_but_me/ (https://www.reddit.com/r/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/nib0ol/no_one_remembered_it_but_me/) Story 2 - Paper disappeared and then reappeared. -https://www.reddit.com/user/Delvianna00/ (Delvianna00) https://www.reddit.com/r/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/ni9rtj/paper_disappeared_and_then_reappeared/ (https://www.reddit.com/r/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/ni9rtj/paper_disappeared_and_then_reappeared/) Story 3 - Something I can't explain happened - https://www.reddit.com/user/No_Neighborhood_1485/ (No_Neighborhood_1485) https://www.reddit.com/r/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/nghz4o/something_i_cant_explain_happened/ (https://www.reddit.com/r/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/nghz4o/something_i_cant_explain_happened/) Story 4 - A friend of mine apparently never existed. - https://www.reddit.com/user/AdamHoleBayBay/ (AdamHoleBayBay) https://www.reddit.com/r/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/nhjom5/i_was_told_to_post_this_here_a_friend_of_mine/ (https://www.reddit.com/r/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/nhjom5/i_was_told_to_post_this_here_a_friend_of_mine/) Story 5 - Bandmate in two places at once - anonymous https://www.reddit.com/r/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/ngxjcv/bandmate_in_two_places_at_once/ (https://www.reddit.com/r/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/ngxjcv/bandmate_in_two_places_at_once/) All stories I read I have been given permission to read by all authors. You're at the bottom, hello again friend! This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podcorn - https://podcorn.com/privacy Support this podcast

story playlist matrix glitch i saw podcorn like no

A Strangers call - Written and Narrated by PA Nightmares - Horror Stories Volume 12

Day Dreams and Nightmares with To_42

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 27, 2021 22:00

story night creepypasta podcorn like no

I was never allowed into the basement - Part 2 - Spooky Series

Day Dreams and Nightmares with To_42

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 20, 2021 30:27

night internet chat creepypasta dodge today matt podcorn like no

I crossed paths with a Serial killer - Days - True Scary Stories - Volume 3

Day Dreams and Nightmares with To_42

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 18, 2021 22:36

True Scary Stories – Supposedly true accounts, written by those it happened it to or a story told to them. All stories are said to be true by the poster or author Welcome new and old friends. Today I have 4 true scary stories for you. Three that have been in collabs and one that is new all together. I do hope you enjoy them. All my links: https://linktr.ee/To42 (https://linktr.ee/To42) Got a story? E-mail me at To42reads@Gmail.com I upload every Friday and Sunday. Friday is Day/gaming and Sunday is Night. Saturdays I have a coffee live stream. This Channel is about stories of day and night. Day Stories are your true stories. Let's not meet, glitch in the matrix and all stories said to be true by the author. All brought to me by To. Night Stories are those fictional stories. Like No sleep, creepypasta and others like that. All brought to me by 42. ************************************ My Plenty of Fish Nightmare-https://www.reddit.com/user/somegirlfromsask/ (somegirlfromsask) https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/comments/kc6r2g/my_plenty_of_fish_nightmare/ (https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/comments/kc6r2g/my_plenty_of_fish_nightmare/) Dunkin Donuts Terrorist- https://www.reddit.com/user/lawyersgunznmoney90/ (lawyersgunznmoney90) https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsNotMeet/comments/l8q1rr/dunkin_donuts_terrorist/ (https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsNotMeet/comments/l8q1rr/dunkin_donuts_terrorist/) Trust your gut, your dog- or your cat - https://www.reddit.com/user/emille6/ (emille6) https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/comments/kmwjle/trust_your_gut_your_dog_or_your_cat/ (https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/comments/kmwjle/trust_your_gut_your_dog_or_your_cat/) That time I crossed path with a convicted serial killer– https://www.reddit.com/user/SnooDonkeys5457/ (SnooDonkeys5457) https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsNotMeet/comments/lfd9v3/that_time_i_crossed_path_with_a_convicted_serial/ (https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsNotMeet/comments/lfd9v3/that_time_i_crossed_path_with_a_convicted_serial/) All stories I read I have been given permission to read by all authors. You're at the bottom, hello again friend! This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podcorn - https://podcorn.com/privacy Support this podcast

night trust podcorn like no letsnotmeet

The Unsolved Case of The Red Creek Town by GlumSilence - Night - Horror Stories V. 11

Day Dreams and Nightmares with To_42

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2021 20:23

night creepypasta unsolved case podcorn like no

Ep:30 Supernatural Storytelling

Folklore Friday

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 11, 2021 63:57

Do you ever wonder what the difference between Supernatural vs Paranormal is? Or Fantasy vs Sci Fi? Well put on your seatbelts because in this episode Kris and I do a deep dive of these types of Genres in Fiction. |00:38 - 03:25| Everyday Folklore “Step on a Crack Break your Mother's Back” |06:30| Supernatural Storytelling |MUSICAL CREDIT| “Easy Trip Trap” The Brothers Records “Tragic Story” by Myuu SOUND CREDIT "Ambience, Children Playing, Distant, A.wav" by InspectorJ (www.jshaw.co.uk) of Freesound.org |INFO CREDIT| https://www.masterclass.com/articles/guide-to-supernatural-vs-paranormal-fiction#6-examples-of-supernatural-fiction https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-origin-of-the-Step-on-a-crack-break-your-mothers-back-superstition http://www.smartalecksguide.com/2011/09/are-there-dark-origins-behind-step-on.html |TRANSCRIPT| Hello, my little strange things. On this podcast I discussed the world's folklore, myths, legends and superstition. I explore what these stories meant to the cultures that shared them the different uses of lore and our modern day entertainment, and the history of it all. Welcome to folklore Friday. Every day Have you ever heard the phrase step on a crack break your mother's back? This was definitely something I heard and said as a child. Even when the other kids and I would question it, that won't really happen. You won't really break your mountains back. Right? It was still something that was fun to say and a fun game to see if you could walk the entire length of the sidewalk without stepping on a crack. This is something in the category of playground lore, meaning lore or superstition that is said and shared among children. There have been multiple versions of the same and it has changed over the years. There's another version that warn children that bears would eat them. Step on a crack and you'll be a bear snack. Another is step on a line and you'll break your mother's fine step on a home, break your mother's sugar bowl, step on a nail and you'll put your dad in jail. The implication is if a child steps out of line, violence will come to them or one of their parents. One could say that the idea behind this game is enforcing societal views. That bad behavior of children reflects poorly on the parents, implying that those children act the way they do because their parents did not teach them better. Even our judiciary system does not try children under the age of 18 as adults, further enforcing that minors are not fully accountable or responsible for their actions until they turn 18. With that in mind, is it possible that this game and phrase said by children is teaching them early on that their bad behavior affects their parents? And ultimately others around them? Or is it just a silly thing? Kids sometimes say to scare each other? or play a game? Tell me what do you think? Now back to your regularly scheduled program. Hello, strange Lynx. Just a little housekeeping before I get the episode started. I want to say I'm excited to be back and I've got some fun plans for season two. Hopefully, I'll be able to put out an episode every week. And I really want to get more more listeners involved because I know you're out there I can see the numbers and they're popping up and all sorts of different countries. And so messaged me talk to me, I want to know the things that you want to hear about. I got a text today asking me about Medusa and I was like, hells Yeah, I don't know that much about her except she had snakes for hair. So gonna be researching that. So I want a little bit more engagement. On that note. I hate asking for reviews. I hate it. If you haven't noticed, I don't do it that much. But now, after a year of having the podcast, I can count on one hand the number of reviews I've had. Painful that is to hear myself say out loud. It's horrible. But yeah, I desperately need them and to those who have left me some already I super super appreciate it. And if you're anything like me, you just had your bad leaving reviews. I'll tell you what, I listened to about five different podcasts and I love all of them. I've never reviewed a single one in that messed up but they're actually doing really well and have money and stuff like that. I don't people, okay, so I'm gonna do it with you. Alright. So, so you click on your Apple podcasts. And I'm going to go to a podcast that I like called guide to the unknown. Just a little free publicity for them. All right. Okay. So it opens up this guide to the unknown trailer episodes, you scroll down past episodes, and then it's like boom, ratings and reviews. And then underneath the first review, the latest review that pops up, there'll be a little purple icon that will say right to review. I'm gonna click on that. Hmm, do I want and I can give five stars. Absolutely. title it easy. listening. Okay, these two are so fun. Keep up the good work. And send thanks for your feedback. And now I'm done. Okay, that's super easy. And if you want, you don't even have to write something, you can just go and give however many stars you think I deserve? So again, yeah, the whole reason I do this is so that people can hear it. I put time, effort and money. people that say podcasting is free. Those people are liars, not the good ones. It costs money. The whole reason I do this so that people can hear it, and they can be entertained, and I can hear what they want to learn about. So reviews really helped me out because they bring me up in a search engine so more people can find it. So if you want to leave me a review, that would be fantastic. Thank you so much. Hello, strange liens. Welcome to season two. I'm your host Megan. And today I'm joined by my husband, Chris. Hello, everyone. I had a good break. But as many breaks often tend to do life happened in the middle. So the time kept getting away from I was like, Oh my gosh, it's almost June. So I'm recording finally. And I am happy to be back recording. Hell yeah. Okay, so today we're going to be talking about supernatural storytelling. I'm not sure if that's going to be the title, either supernatural or paranormal. But why I can't decide it's because we're going to be talking about everything under the umbrella of strange, Supernatural, paranormal, yada, yada, yada and talk about the differences. And honestly supernatural and paranormal I thought they were the same thing. And even though the definitions are different, they're portrayed as the same thing I would say in a lot of entertainment. What about you? Yeah, I mean, they often get mixed in and they're pretty close. So until you start getting into the actual hard definitions of them then you go Oh, okay. Yeah, I guess I can see the difference there. Yeah, cuz when I think when when I think supernatural I think all different kinds of monsters and demons and anything spiritual when I think paranormal I only think ghosts. Yeah, good. Like usually where I go with it to like paranormal investigations and stuff like that. Yeah, so that was pretty much what I understood before I did the research. So let's talk about it. Okay. According to the Oxford Dictionary, a manifestation or event attributed to some force beyond scientific understanding, or the laws of nature. So in the Merriam Webster dictionary, the supernatural definition is, Of or relating to an order of existence beyond the visible, observable universe, especially, Of or relating to God, or a god demigod, spirit, or devil. And this I found on masterclass.com of what is supernatural fiction, and it says, the supernatural genre incorporates elements that cannot be understood by science, and operate outside the rules of the real world. supernatural fiction normally concerns itself. supernatural fiction normally concerns itself with matters of God, the soul, archangels, and resurrection. Sub genres include supernatural horror fiction, ie the work of HP, Lovecraft, Gothic, ie Frankenstein, ghost stories, supernatural thrillers and other mccobb stories in the horror genre. So you can see how it all kind of mixes together, but this is stating that supernatural is a bit more limited than what I thought. But when you just look at the definition of supernatural, but this is saying supernatural fiction can incorporate a lot of different things. Continuing from the website masterclass, calm the paranormal genre of literary fiction includes beings and phenomena that are outside the realm of normal Normal scientific understanding of the natural world. Though the paranormal genre may include supernatural list elements, this fiction genre generally includes creatures that have been popularized by folklore fairy tales and popular culture such as fairies, aliens, shapeshifters and the undead so this so this makes me think it's like flip flops. I think paranormal I think just ghosts. But when I think supernatural I think everything it just stated that it's actually right flip flops. So continuing on. Sub genres that fall into the paranormal fiction category include paranormal romance, urban fantasy, fantasy, romance novels, and paranormal fantasy. The paranormal romance genre has yielded many New York Times bestselling hardcovers and audio books in recent years which storylines around young adult and high school aged main characters who fall in love with the paranormal creature, okay, and some examples would include the Twilight series, Moon called by Patricia Briggs, I've read all of those Oh, there's so freaking good interview with a vampire That one's famous by Anne Rice. And then I'm just reading off once it's anything that has to do with vampire apparently. Yeah, discovery of witches vampires, which is the hollow series I don't know what that is. But I've discovered anything titled The the hollow or has the hollow in it is worth checking out because it's usually paranormal on The Mortal Instruments. Okay, so this included examples of fantasy, mortal, mortal engines. That's what I was thinking of going back. Okay, so this kind of locked in fantasy, together with paranormal but here's the difference. There are some debate in the literary world about whether or not high fantasy fiction dark fantasy and other contemporary fantasy genres fall in the supernatural or paranormal category. Though popular fantasy novels and fantasy series like jrr Tolkien's I didn't know it was our Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings and JK Rowling's Harry Potter may include supernatural creatures and elements of the paranormal. fantasy books are generally considered to be their own distinct genre. Okay, and the reason for that is okay, from what I can understand, supernatural and paranormal exist within our world. It's like everything that you know now our world but then add in a vampire, or add in a witch or add in blah, blah, blah. But fantasy exists in a world outside of our world. Right. So Harry Potter still manages to get outside of our world, because they have their own best secret wizarding world is not really a thing, but it but maybe just had some person who does magic in the normal world. Does that then not make it fantasy? Yes. So like charmed. would be paired. It would be paranormal, paranormal because they exist in our world. But it's really easy to think of examples like Lord of the Rings, or Oh, come on, what are some other fantasies stuff? I can't think of anything that that new show that we just started watching that you like Shadow and Bone bone. It's like a world that does not exist in our world made up world. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And so that actually helped me kind of distinguish the two of them. Okay, okay. And I don't normally like what Wikipedia says. But I really like the wording. It says in the difference of definitions. The supernatural genre highlights supernatural creatures or happenings within the real world. Moreover, supernatural fiction also tends to focus on suspense and mystery and less on action, and adventure. Fantasy usually takes place in another world. We're fantastical creatures or magic, our normal Labyrinth, the labyrinth legend. Yes. Melissa sent. So awesome. Legend. Yeah, Tom Cruise. I only came out a little while ago. Oh my gosh, like 20 years 3030 or 40, maybe 1985, almost forever. before I was born, so hopefully strange links that answers your questions. But yeah, you can see how it can all get mixed together. But the biggest difference I would say is between fantasy and everything else. Right. And I would say for the most part, you're zeroing in on paranormal stuff. Correct where we thought maybe it was supernatural that you were focusing in on Moreover, it's paranormal or normal. And I think the thing that messes Up is one the show supernatural everything right and then shows like paranormal investigations paranormal investigator mostly hunt ghosts so turns out they're wrong. The other ones as far as you know, movies and TV using them supernatural and paranormal usually feel pretty interchangeable. Yeah, I would say so. I mean, it to say that it's supernatural and it just goes beyond the rules of science can encompass a lot of things still. Yeah, but calling it paranormal seems to maybe focusing on it a little bit more insane. Like No, it's these folklore things in particular. Yeah. That we're seeing. Yeah, that makes a supernatural maybe also is saying that around those same kinds of things a little bit, because the thing anything outside of science, yeah. Proven. Yeah. You can't scientifically explain this. And it seems beyond the laws of nature. Okay. So like, like the show fringe or fringe science? Yeah, possibly. But then when you zero in on it, like monsters, magic, or norm, those are paranormal. Okay, actually, that helped me still end up in those are science fiction type things would hit a lot of supernatural stuff. But sometimes they like to be like, and then this monster exist? Oh, yeah. And we didn't even talk about sci fi. Okay, so sci fi, you explain it. I don't actually have a definition. But the difference is things that could maybe possibly exist within science, right? Think of within the realm of scientific possibility, right, but yet have not been yet discovered or proven? Or, you know, a lot of quantum theory. Any time travel thing is potentially possible, maybe because we've thought about it scientifically, but nothing's been proven behind that. So that's the science fiction thing. Most space traveling type things are way in the future Star Trek, it all has this potential to exist because science says that it's possible, but we've definitely not gotten there yet. Yeah, so that's the big difference. sci fi, obviously science fiction, Supernatural, paranormal, my little magic and yeah, beyond any kind of scientific explanation, because it just defies the laws of nature. Yeah, yeah. But science fiction is saying, Yeah, possible. But we haven't actually worked it out quite yet. Yeah. So now, we're going to discuss a little bit about history of supernatural specifically when it pertains to folklore and super superstition. First off, it serves a purpose. It wasn't just this small minded thing that people thought up to scare their children. Most of folklore and superstition comes from a time where they didn't have scientific understanding, and they didn't have medical knowledge. So the way your body decayed, or the moon, or things that happen in NIH, that people didn't understand, because they didn't have that understanding of what was actually going on. This is what they figured out what's going on. And this was their explanation of it. Exactly. Yeah. They believed it to be true, because this is what they worked out. And it was it. And that was a good thing, because it gave them an answer where there otherwise wasn't one. The example that I use a lot is the idea of changeling children. It's this concept that a fairy would come and take your kid in the middle of the night and replace it with this human like child's but wasn't because it was created out of magic. And the symptoms that they say that these children had, they wouldn't look you in the eyes. They didn't like being hugged, and they had large appetites. And they didn't like socializing with the other children. So like kind of toddler age. So a lot of modern day psychologists and historians say those kids were probably autistic. And these stories go back. So so far, no, I mean, to get into anti vaccine, but here's a good example of this existed long before it had a diagnosis. And the stories offered these families that were just confused. An explanation were there otherwise wasn't one. Well said. So. So that's an example of how folklore can serve a purpose. And it was probably beneficial to those families because they were like, Oh, it's not my fault. This thing came in the middle of the night and took my baby and now I care for this one. Okay. And then something Chris and I were talking about a while ago is people still have folkloric beliefs and superstition To this day, depending on what country or what culture there's some people that are very heavily involved in superstition, especially superstitious things. ask anybody that plays a sport. They're superstitious at all or if they do anything to make sure that they have good luck going in this Something like that it that's all superstition, because there's no evidence that it's actually working or not. Even though people might still say that they have evidence behind it, because they won that game, or something like that, but so all superstitions behind it. I mean, even just those general big ones of walking on their ladder, it's bad luck and all those different ways to get bad luck breaking a mirror. These all these things just settle into people's brains. And they, then they're, they've convinced themselves of it. And so just take that and think about being told a story about how sticking a stake in a dead person and nailing him into the coffin was make sure that they don't become a vampire. It's easy to believe. Yeah. It's not worth it. No one's telling you that that's not the right thing. Okay, so as the world continued on, and we learned, how our bodies worked, how things happen that seemed magical turned out to just be kind of a natural process. folklore became something that faded into the background and then became a part of entertainment. So you can see examples of that in Shakespeare. What are some examples in Shakespeare Besides, okay, I can think of Hamlet, Midsummer Night's Dream. It's a strange perfect POC. Yeah, creature. So in Hamlet, there's the ghost of his father. And then what's the one we're there on the iPad, the tempest Tempest, a bunch of magic in the Tempus. Okay, in 1897. book was written called Camilla, which actually came out before Dracula. And it is about a lesbian vampire. The story is narrated by a young woman preyed upon by a female vampire named Camilla. Then novella, notably, never acknowledges homosexuality and an end to agonistic trait, leaving it subtle, and relatively on mentioned. Now, my opinion is if that was about to human lady love, and ladies, that would not be accepted. And then lady lovingly. Did you like that? So homosexuality was outlawed in different areas during that time. So what made this sneak through to mainstream is because Camilla wasn't a human, she was a vampire. So what I find interesting about this is that they used these kind of folkloric beliefs as a way to talk about something that maybe they otherwise couldn't talk about. So maybe there was some closeted women who were like, Oh, my gosh, I'm not alone. Somebody feels this way. Yeah, and it's a vampire, and it's a vampire. That's what I should be. And thus, the fascination started. So it's interesting to think about how vampires went from this thing of legends that was really scary to this thing that became maybe a little bit more relatable. And there was a level of romanticism and we see the beginnings of that with stories like Mila, and Dracula. And then later, the same thing happen with witches, we saw them starting out as villains, and then they eventually became the protagonists. So in that, which is went from being villains, to the woman next door, starting with shows like bewitched, which began in 1964, where there was a beloved witch as the main character in it, even though she had to keep her identity hidden as a witch. She's still that the titular character, something similar to that I was thinking of was I Dream of Jeannie. And that started in 1965. So seeming, there's mid 60, things are starting this revolution of these folkloric ideas being these more upbeat, kind of happy things that we can cover and talk about and it's all okay. Yeah, it was like to be burned at the stake. Yeah. Or like, I'll get you my pretty rich to the east. Now. These ladies existed in suburbia, and so is a much more accepted thing. And it was comfortable for people. And then it went even more so which is begin to be romanticized. And then, you know, vampires had been romanticized since Camilla, and Dracula. And we've seen that become so much more mainstream in the past decade with things like Twilight. But then you can even see examples of you know, Twilight, we've got vampires and werewolves, but now even zombies have their own love stories with movies like warm bodies, and I'm sure there's more but that's the only one I can think of. I can't think of any other zombie zombie story. I mean, izombie kind of Oh zombies cute. will be More people, not just these. Raise your brain. Yeah. Yeah. Thinking sentience, creatures loving intelligent people are ones that also needed to eat people. Yeah. But they figured out or the one way that Drew Barrymore Oh, the Santa Clarita Diet. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I love that show. Oh, heck, how did you forget that one? I don't know. Yeah, check that out. Listeners because that's on Netflix. Yeah, another suburbian example. She's like a wife. She's a like real estate. That's like, bewitched, but that's totally what that is. That's exactly what it is. It's a strong like magic or, you know, supernatural woman, like her human husband. That's okay. With her being this theory. She's trying to support it and manage it. It's actually trying to keep it secret. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's very feminine thing, because all of those shows are wonderfully feminist in the way that their husbands are accepting with their wives being these things and a good example. Okay, so I want to know is now in the modern world, we know things like zombies and vampires and werewolves we know those things don't exist, because we understand how do we know Yeah. Yeah. But for the most part, they're no longer stories that terrify people. Now, they're stories that are entertaining. So in, Chris, in your opinion, why are these stories entertaining for people, because we still hope they do exist, they exist, still want to grow. And that's why it's so romanticize being a vampire that then it's not even like, Oh, my gosh, I hope I don't get attacked by a vampire. It's like, gosh, I hope I get turned. So I can be a vampire and vampire things. I mean, that's what Twilight is all about is like, she's, you know, spoiler alert, if you. But I'm Twilight, that Bella eventually turns into a vampire. And then, and now she's a strong werewolf guy. And so it's cool to be this thing. It's neat to be your, you have this power as an outsider. And that's what a lot of people are also looking for, too, is that this, you're this outsider with these special abilities, and you're different from everyone else. But that's pretty cool thing to be. Because you can still fit in society. Right? You have this this extra thing about you. And I think from the documentaries I've watched on these type of stories, people say that, especially for adolescence, they feel like they don't fit in. And so to see stories like this, where people are existing in a society that looks like ours, but yet there's something unique and inherently different about them. They're like, I can relate to that. I know what that feels like. And so sometimes it's a lot easier for people to relate to. What I think is something that's really interesting about these types of stories is because it's interesting to see characters deal with human emotions. But there's also something that gives them a supernatural power. So everything is supercharged. So if you get jealous, and you have to kill people to live, if you get jealous of somebody, you're like, Oh, I got to not kill that person, I got fight my instinct to not kill them. and different things like that. Or if you have magical abilities, and you get upset, and you like murder five people around you, yeah, that's like, watch blade. Read the blade comics, because that's why he's awesome. With all those things that you said, you have to watch some blade, because he's dealing with that kind of like, I'm this monster, but I'm a monster killer, I have to battle, this inner monster of mine with these powers that I that I have behind it. And that struggle that he has with himself about who he is. That's big on that. And I mean, that all just then turns into also not just vampires and werewolves in but superhero movies are the same kind of thing. They fall into that same exact kind of storytelling of how do I have? How do I manage these these newfound abilities, these crazy things that are outside of the normal world and still exist and be who I am in the normal world? Where does that balance happen? Yeah, because the decisions that someone that's just a regular Joe Schmo human have to make are probably a little bit different than someone that has these crazy abilities, right. Whether they be superpowers or things that potentially make you a monster, like a vampire. Yeah. That's why it's fun to watch it, see where they go with it. And I like that I think that like vampires and werewolves are interesting, because it's this idea that they are like human, but they're not. So they have to fight their very nature, which is what you were talking about right with with blade. And a really good example that that I like, is the character Damon from the Vampire Diaries, because he's such a good example, because he is just merciless. In the beginning. He's just like killing people left and right. Zero apologies. He doesn't feel obligated to live the human code. Because he's not human. And one of his, one of his lines is, I kill people. It's in my nature. It's who I am. And so it's also interesting to see people not fall into that moral code. Because if you really think about it, they're like, Well, I'm not a human. And so to see, it's also interesting to see bad vampires and bad werewolves. I could almost see Dexter. Yeah, from the show Dexter saying those? Same, that exact line. Yeah, like, this is who I am. It's in my nature, it's who I am. I think he might have said, aim it towards bad people. I mean, that's what makes that it's that it's that gets to be in that same world of what we're doing with the supernatural and paranormal, but it's just a normal guy. Like he's fighting his inner monster. And that's just a great way to tell a story. Yeah, person's inner battle with themselves and are nice, fun, and sometimes easy way to do it. It's be like, well, there, there's this thing that they're struggling with. Yeah, they're vampire. They're werewolves, they're whatever this thing is that they have to deal with. And let's see where that goes. And I think I like that storyline, because you're taking someone that's for the most partly human, and then you're giving them all these different powers. But having those powers of those abilities, doesn't make your problems go away. And that, in my opinion, is why that's interesting, because you still have to deal with all this rain, jealous, wanting to be loved wanting to fit in blabbity, blah, blah, blah, like all of those things are still there. And I think that's really, really good. I don't know, metaphor, or have you another example of why I like these stories. In comparison to say true crime, True Crime can kind of battle with the go over that struggle that you were talking about. With Dexter, it's, you get to see these stories of people that went there, that cracked that completely lost their humanity, and they gave into the darker sides. I don't like stories like that. I get why people like them. But they scare me. terrifying to me, because they're things that really happen. And so when I watch true crime, I'm paranoid for the next week, I look at my neighbors like, that could be a killer, that that guy, that guy checking me out of the grocery store, who knows, and I don't like it. I like these stories, because for the most part, they're not real. Things like that. As far as we know, as far as we know, disclaimer, as far as we know, but I find it soothing. in a weird way. I think I fell in love with the exiles as a kid because I could think, oh, man, I got shit going on in my life. But at least I don't have these problems. At least I don't have some alien or I have to go into some conspiracy of the world even though some people claim that that has happened and then when I feel feel for you, but I'm talking about the non alien stuff. But yeah, I can't I like Chris said, we don't know. I can't disprove spirits, werewolves vampires, but I can sleep through the night if I watched something right as elements. Because you, you know, you're hoping that your neighbor isn't a vampire. But you're like, could he be a killer? Yeah, exactly. That's exactly. Okay. And this is a quote from an article that I got that all I'll post the link in the description, we like novelty, something that departs from our everyday experience, some of the attraction of being scared comes from the deviation of having a new experience that we know is safe. Okay, want to split that up into two parts. So first one, it says something that departs from our everyday experience. This is something that Chris and I have talked about, is that Chris loves things that I would say fantasy that's created this whole world and this whole universe of science fiction will do that too, with you know, jumps into the future of space. Stories, when they're like this is this whole new world, this universe that's been created, you know, Star Wars kind of dances that line of being fantasy and science fiction, because, you know, it's in a galaxy far, far away, and it's creating this whole different new world. But could that exist? You know, scientifically? Yeah. Probably most part. So it's those types of things play in that nice, beautiful place of the new. I like the new instead of what's already here and around me in my everyday life. I don't need other people's versions of their everyday life, I want to see this new, amazing world that has all these new discoveries for me. Yeah, a good example. Sorry, before we were married, and I was at his apartment, and like, my internet sucked. So he let me come over and use the internet, which is code for watch stuff. He got back from work. And I was watching Parenthood, which is, you know, kind of like a dramedy about being parents and this whole family and how they all work. And there's this scene where this couple who's getting divorced has this, like emotional conversation. And Chris was like, I don't need to watch this. This is depressing. This is real. I don't need to watch it. I don't find this entertaining. And it was just a good example. But some people feel like that's important. And they feel really rejuvenated. My sister's one of those I asked like, what audio books do you listen to? And she's like, I like autobiographies and anything to do with World War Two. Yeah, I think there's a place for it. I think that it's fine for people who enjoy it. I just not for me. Yeah. Insane when it when my sister was talking about that. I was like, Uh huh. I only listen to things with vampires and werewolves and witches, like that's the majority, it's autobiographies of comedians. And then like fantasy books, that's how I listened to. Because it's that idea of like, I know what happens in the daily I want something extra. So now we're gonna talk about storylines that are popular in these types of genres, paranormal supernatural fantasy genres. So one of the first ones that came to mind for us particularly is what we call Freaky Friday. And that's where they just have a Friday and it's freaky. Know what happens there. If you ever seen that movie Freaky Friday is that it's like a swap between two people, you get to live out their life, because some, by some magical or even scientific means their minds get swapped, and you're in their body, and now you have to exist and do the things that they were going to do in their life. And then, you know, discoveries are made, and you get revelations, and you're like, Oh, my stuff was hard. I didn't understand you, and all that deep stuff happens, but it's Freaky Friday for everyone. And that, you know, obviously, we've seen the movie Freaky Friday, and then there's like other versions of that storyline, but we see it a lot in television writing, especially for shows that are magical. And my favorite type of Freaky Friday is when it's more than just two people. It's a whole night everyone can switch with someone else. Like in Jumanji, the second one. Oh, yeah, that's a really that's, that's, that's my favorite kind of Freaky Friday where they all are getting switched up, and they all are jumping in. And then you get to see those actors act like different characters. Oh, my God, it's perfect. I love it. And this kind of thing has happened in shows like Star Trek. I know. I've seen a supernatural that's happened in that show for charm term. Both of them even happens a little bit, sometimes in shows that aren't focused around paranormal supernatural things. It's kind of like a almost a dream Dream that they were that person. And then they're like, Oh, crap, I understand them better. Yeah, but yeah, there's a really good episode in lost girl, where they all get like, switched around. It's Yeah, so there's lots of examples. You can go into that. I like that. Okay. Another type that we've seen, and this isn't maybe not storyline, but a thread for a show is creature of the week. So there's a new threat in every episode. You see it a lot. Or not maybe every episode, but there's usually a new threat, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's not just vampires that she fights. There's all these different types of things that happen. And now we have the show legacies on The CW where Nah, they do such a good job things are just come in all the time. It was also on Teen Wolf, the television series you see it a lot in more like episodic type of writing. And I think it's great because it gives you so many different opportunities to tell different types of stories. So another great one is what I do typically referred to as a groundhog day scenario, because I'm referring to the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray, where he continues to repeat the same day over and over again and he gets reset on the day if he dies. And that's usually what happens or ale don't sleep that night in a wake up and it will be the morning that he just did. And so this is just that time loop one that I really like a lot. There's a lot of great movies that do it Groundhog's Day, obviously is is one of the great ones. And they always refer to it as Groundhog Day. That's that's that's how well that movie did. And it was one of the first ones and so usually when you're trying to explain that story, you say Oh, like Groundhog Day. Yeah. Yeah, cuz it's so well, and yeah, so fun. And Edge of Tomorrow is one of my most favorite movies. It's also referred to as live die repeat. That's what Tom Cruise Emily Blunt, where he does the same thing he's repeating the same day. If he dies yes to repeat there's there's all these scientific reasons for why it's happening to him, of course in battling aliens, but that same thing of how do I get through my day? What new discoveries Do I need to make an even in just this one day? What are all the many possibilities? that lie ahead for me? It's just a really cool story, huh? Yeah. What was that one with Andy Samberg, Palm Springs, Palm Springs. That one was super fun. And one of my new favorites is happy death day. There's happy death day one and happy death. Day two. I like the first one. But first one's definitely better. It's been super, super fun. It's like a horror version. And it's horror comedy. My favorite guy. We're gonna watch that on my birthday. I'm excited. Okay, and this is close to Groundhog Day. But another movie that was made made this theme popular for an alternate timeline is it's a wonderful life. So he wakes up. And his whole world is different. What he knew is completely gone. And that is a really fun type of storyline, which they can do in non paranormal type shows. Usually it's some kind of a dream. But it's that idea that here's an alternate version of my life. Yeah, alternate reality of what, what if this thing had happened and therefore changed so many other things, and usually some sort of crucial moment in your life had gone differently for you. And therefore, these other things have worked out tons of movies have done that? And yeah, yeah, there's like the family man with Nicolas Cage. I can't believe I can't think of any baseball one. Mr. Destiny is another one that has James Belushi in it. And he it's it's very much like a It's a Wonderful Life type of storyline where he did not do well in his baseball career. But then going back, I can't remember how it happened. Maybe he made some sort of wish that What if he did do well in his baseball career, and he did that instead? And so he gets to live out that alternate reality. And then, you know, of course, discovers that his life was so much more fulfilling and yeah, there's always that, that that idea idea to it. But when it comes to time travel, this storyline can be similar to so like Back to the Future. When he does go back to the future. Everything's different. And if he is in charge of everything, right, that's the second one with a hose. Yeah. Actually, the first one when he goes back is nice. Nice and clean in his car. Yeah. But then that truck when he gets a hold of the sports Almanac arena, right? Yeah. So differently. Okay. And then this is one that Chris I feel like has a better understanding, but a MindScape where you're entering into someone's mind. So examples like the cell, which I've never seen, and you told me it was here me too much. Yeah, it's pretty scary. It's that's kind of scary. That gets to you more, I know. Versus like, Oh, this is this is getting in your head a little bit. Yeah. Watch out. But explain it like how so and that one J. Lo is this sort of psychologist and they she's with this group that have discovered a way to sort of go into a person's mind. And in order to help them. Give them therapy is what is happening because they're unable to speak. In particular, there's this boy who doesn't speak he's kind of, I believe he's at such an maybe artistic level that he's not a Want to communicate well or something else is going on? wrong with them? I can't. It's been a while since I've seen it. But then eventually it turns into that this serial killer who goes into a coma, they need to get into his head in order to find out where he's keeping a girl he had just kidnapped and that he put into a chamber and slowly kills a cell. Yeah, that would bother me. And so they're using this process that she's good at. and Vince Vaughn is an FBI guy who's trying to help her out and yeah, just going through that process and the serial killers that guy from the law bill or loan Order Criminal Intent. Not Buffalo Bill, nevermind. kingpin pressure. Oh, yeah, I don't know his name. Vincent D'Onofrio. Oh, yeah, he was in Jurassic World two. Yeah. So well. Vincent D'Onofrio is actually the serial killer that they have to get into the mind of And so yeah, that's this MindScape it's this place that he's created. And all these things are possible, because he's making these things up in his head. And so it's like, they're in a serial killers head. And that's what's crazy about it. And that's the the MindScape type thing. I've seen it again on Star Trek, and Star Trek does all of these. And supernatural where it's not, they're not playing and they're going into someone's head. And so they have really, it's this world that's in their head. It's it's what they've created, and they don't know the rules and everything right. And usually they're trying to bring them out of it is oftentimes the story that's being told is, is get them out of it or get in there in order to figure out something from them secretly Inception does this yes, these minds Yeah, in or they're trying to plant the seed of a thought. And so they're actually going into this person's brain. And it's such a fun storyline. I've seen it I've seen on lost girl. I've seen it on Xena, actually, I think it's like Xena goes into Gabrielle's mind. And it's a fun, it's a fun storyline. And it's super similar to Christmas saying like, I think it's the same thing. But there's also the idea of a vision quest where you're going into your own mind. But there's other other things that have joined you spiritual guides. And so they're taking you on this journey. So you're not there for someone else, you're there for yourself. But still, you don't know what's going to happen, you can't navigate because you don't know what's coming. Because it's this the world of your mind that you've created. So there's like, Buffy meets the first Slayer, like death is your gift. She's like, I don't understand. And there's there's also really, really good examples of that kind of storyline, too. Okay, and so now we're gonna talk about the transformation type of storyline. And there's two basically, one is it's a forced transformation example, your bit by werewolf up by vamper, you turn into a werewolf, or a vampire, or a zombie, or whatever. And then all the things that you have to go through to now become this new being. And I mean, so many different examples of that. And then there's the other type, which is a coming of age transformation. You were always this thing. And now that you're a certain age, you're now becoming this thing. Because Didn't you say in team wolf, the movie? It was like a hereditary thing? Yeah, his dad was a werewolf. And so at once he was going through puberty, he finished his transformation into a werewolf. And so his dad was trying to explain that to him and everything. So it wasn't, he was always going to be that he didn't get bit like he does in the show. He was just born a werewolf like his dad is and a just dealing with what that means for him. And then of course, you're a wizard, Harry. Right. And a lot of it. Oftentimes these happen on this coming of age thing, which is not an accident, because it's this, like, I'm going through puberty, what are these crazy changes that are happening to me? And then we're just trying to accentuate that story by saying that, oh, it's because you're a werewolf. It's because you're a wizard. It's because you're a vampire. That now you're at this, you know, this crucible, this point that's happening. And these changes are happening so as to relate to the young adult audience that this is focused around. Yeah. Another good thing that I've seen when it comes to which stories is that they're spellbound, until they're adults. We've seen that in discovery witches and charmed, they don't find out that they're witches until they're like in the early 20s. Right. And that is a really fun way because it's, oh, your parents wanted you to have this normal life until you were ready. Right? This new amazing discovery Otherwise, you probably would have had a pretty good grip on it by now. And you'd be managing Oh, true, right. But now it's like all these different challenges. Um, similar to the body swap, the next storyline is possession. But this instead of being switched with someone, it's just something demon, Angel, bad spirit, good spirit, whatever comes into your body. I don't even want to list all those because you can think of them. There's a lot. Now, this is I, I don't really know how to explain this, but I always find it and it bothers me and supernatural stories. Anytime there's a ritual where you have to have blood involved. So many examples. In Buffy, in supernatural, even in Nancy Drew in charmed. Why? Think about it. Think about those scenes. Where do they cut themselves, Chris on their hand was on the palm, and they're very useful hands. Why did they do a slice in the middle of it nice and deep and all the way across. You could cut yourself in so many other places, in order to give a few drops of blood spell your, your Lake, your ankle, anywhere except your needed hands and you've ever get a cut on your hand. It's like the worst place to get a cut. Because it's always moving us why going that deep? Yeah, it's always super deep. And then what they do, they ball up their fist, and then they squeeze the blood over whatever. Maybe maybe a needle isn't readily available, but somebody grab a needle and just draw a little bit of blood out. Like this huge cover. When you find that knife, I can jam it into my head. It hurts. It's like every single time. I just have this dream in my head. A storyline right there. Yeah, I know. It's not a storyline, but it's an example I just bring up because it just it's a trope. It's like they always cut their hand. I just have this vision of writing this kind of like paranormal comedy horror movie, and it would be like, Oh, we need a blood exchange. And then someone goes for their hand and another character says, Why don't you just do something smart, like your arm or something and be ready with a bandage. I don't know. I just have a premonition. So like a premonition. Usually I find these like a character that gets premonitions or something that can either be really good or not helpful. Like I don't know That's So Raven is a really good example of how she gets these little premonitions of the future right. But sometimes they change and so she's always trying to change them and don't they always just come true no matter what. I don't know. I didn't see a whole lot of that. So Raven, it's been so Stan what happened in it? But but that's the people getting premonitions or even just I mean, that's the final destination movies right there. Yeah, yeah. Is them having this premonition of the deaths and then trying to avoid that, and then you trying to escape this fate that's ahead of you. But like you were saying the characters a character on a new show called The Nevers, which I highly recommend to HBO viewers, right, of how she gets these premonitions, but she doesn't know when they're gonna happen. And she knows that she can't change them. And Chris was saying the other night, he's like, her gift is useless, utterly useless. Good thing, you know, something that you can't remotely change. Yeah, it was a little that's like, No, I'm gonna get hit by a car. And then you just go, Oh, well, that sucks. Yeah, that's definitely gonna happen. And there Yeah. So sometimes I like that type of storyline. When you can change it, like charmed. She can usually change it in both versions, the ones that get that psychic inclination of like, what's going to happen. So I like the premonition storyline when you can change it because then you have an upper hand because if you don't have an upper hand, then you're just like, well, dang it, I can't do it now. Okay. And this is kind of something that we see is when someone becomes aware of the supernatural and they have to now deal with the fact that their world has changed. It's world shattering news, Harry euro wizard. wizards exist What? Like they don't even have to be part of it either. So much like what I was saying with the the the transformation or the bite that you're becoming your werewolf and you are this thing now. It's that that this is different because we're now saying that this person becomes aware that these insane things exist, and they have to just manage their life. Now with that knowledge. That doesn't mean you take any doctor who Assistant that he brings in there his partner and then going like, well, like a look at this world. And that's why brings assistant along because doctor who's used to all this stuff, we don't necessarily care about Doctor Who discovering these new things, there is some fun in that. But that's why that show is interesting because the assistant has an assistant comes along so right about them managing this whole new world of possibilities that he's showing to them of all of these crazy new things. And them how this world shattering idea of what's going on here and then having to manage that. It's also you can see this a lot when it's, say, a haunted house storyline. And you know, usually there's this struggle of No, it can't be real, I'm gonna prove that it's not real. There's that dumb character. It's like, Steve, no ghost is gonna get me and then they're like drug off off screen. And I do think that the way you write that discovery is going to make or break the movie. We've talked about before, how, let's say like a supernatural threat came to us. And we had to therefore acknowledge that it was like the black eyed kids is something that I've talked about. And you're like, I wouldn't be scared about it. I'd be like, Okay, well, how do we get rid of them? Let's look at let's look at what all the scholars have just laid out in front of you. And you just you're just like absolutely denying it or just like, Oh, yeah, it's a ghost. I saw it. So you know, okay, let's do a salt circle. Let's do all that. Yeah, let's do the ritual. Do the things that you need to do instead of just yeah, saying no. I know, it's holding me upside down, but can't be real. But I imagined it. Yeah. And then the last kind of storyline is the idea of a powerful magical object. And that the story is built around that you seen in the movie The mask with Jim Carrey Lucky's mask, he puts it on he transforms into this cartoon like creature. And then Infinity Gauntlet, and the stones are the stones called the Infinity Stones. The Infinity Gauntlet, it gives that that person a bunch of power, right? These things that also sort of change your perception on reality because it has this whole nother level of possibilities that are usually supernatural paranormal beyond the explanation of science of the laws of nature. The Holy Grail is another one we talked about the fifth element with the stones and actually, you know, the Fifth Element herself. The Sorcerer's Stone in Harry Potter and Harry Harry Potter just continues to throw those types of things on this list. The fairy wand and elderberry the elder was elderberry elderberries are real. It's like a thing. They aren't good. Yeah. So it's a great way of telling a story is powerful, magical object. Whoever possesses it some sort of crazy thing different than will change for them. I mean, just the genies lamp. Yeah, great example of that. I think there's something called the skull of truth. And it's supposed to be the skull that like Shakespeare uses. It's Yorick. It's that and whoever's in the same room as the skull, they have to tell the truth. So that would be kind of handy. I do think. So, those are some of our favorite storylines within the genre. Let us know if we missed anything. There's plenty more. I'm sure we missed some. There's all sorts of different ways. I mean, watch every single Star Trek episode, and they do all sorts of these different things. Yeah. 15 years of supernatural wasn't just by chance that they only cover the storylines that we mentioned. I know. Yeah. So there's other Yeah, they're out there. And they're awesome. And each one gets to be used again and again and again, and thrown little different elements at it. And that's one of the reasons why. supernatural paranormal things are so much fun, because it does not get old. Yeah, it doesn't get old when you have so many options to play with. Right? And you can mix these things around. You can have like, oh, a Freaky Friday, within Oh, we also have to get this powerful object and this powerful object is what made us do the Freaky Friday thing in the first place. Oh, it's so great. So many versions. And like we said that, that these they transcend just being in even in their own story, worlds of fantasy, science fiction, Supernatural, paranormal and even the drama series. We'll touch on some of these storylines that are primarily focused in these types of world and then they'll sort of explain them away of why this, you know, the real world is still functioning here that they had a dream, the dream, but it's, they're all incredibly awesome ways to tell stories and that's why I just, yeah, eat it up. Eat it. Oh, yeah, same. Alright and as we end Make sure to follow me on Instagram at the folklore Friday podcast and message me message me if there's any storylines that you like, or if there's a topic you want us to discuss, because I am looking for feedback. And as I end I wanted to tell Chris and you my listener, so as listening to this podcast, if you'd like my podcast, and you're really gonna like it's called stories with Sapphire, ah, do you ever just look at someone and their accomplishments and you go, I want I want those. She's living my best life. Like, that's this chick for me. And so I was listening to this episode where she tells these scary stories. Sometimes people write in sometimes she narrates, sometimes they they narrate, narrate, I can talk. So I listen to her podcast a lot when I'm working because I do sign work. And I usually find it really soothing but on my way home to you love in my life, Chris. I was listening to this one. And it made me gasp out loud. Because I was like, Oh, I don't like that at all. This, like family, and they kept being haunted by this ghost of someone that looked a lot like the daughter and kept saying, Mommy, Mommy, and it sounded, you know, pretty general. And they said, Please leave and as most ghost stories do the ones that end will that left but then you find out that it was like the ants. Baby, she had a miscarriage. And they said, Oh, the aunt said we couldn't bury it in him. I think it was her her son couldn't bury him in the cemetery. So we buried him in the house. And out loud I went what she said, she put the remnants in this big glass jar with alcohol and put it under the floorboards of the couch, like render underneath the couch. It seems like work to just do that. That's easier to bury airy and live somewhere just disintegrate and become part of the earth. That sounds very natural to the work to do what they did. It's like preserving it in like a free pickle jar. Yeah, that's the most disturbing thing I've ever heard. I don't know if it was like a cultural thing. And if it is, I'm sorry, but they didn't say it was and I would be so disturbed if I found found that. Sure. You know what? Just like it was very disturbing to me. So check out that. Yeah, check that out. Check that. It's very good. Also check out guide to the unknown. I've been listening to that one a lot. Super like it props to them. But also listen to all of the other previous episodes for folklore Friday. Oh, yes, please. So thank you so much for listening. Thank you for joining me, Chris. Oh, thank you for having me, Megan. And we'll see you next time on folklore Friday. Bye. Thanks for listening my little strange things. I hope you join us next time. scare you later. Transcribed by https://otter.ai

tv kids fantasy oxford dictionary merriam webster star wars apple christmas stone fiction god world war ii new york times netflix assistant star trek lovecraft supernatural moon harry potter jk rowling thinking shadow shakespeare hamlet sorcerer stories mother infinity stones buffy the vampire slayer gothic hell frankenstein sci fi twilight jumanji genres dracula hbo jurassic world baby bone fbi medusa lake tom cruise vince vaughn andy samberg cw nancy drew freesound step lord of the rings vampire diaries tolkien true crime paranormal versus hp labyrinth normal poc slayer eat wikipedia nicolas cage wonderful life inception almanac raise inspectorj insane tempest groundhog day groundhog bill murray palm springs holy grail teen wolf oftentimes nih santa clarita diet back to the future parenthood correct mortal instruments freaky friday anne rice fall in love bye infinity gauntlet nah proven distant ipads fifth element tempus i dream mindscape patricia briggs yorick so raven midsummer night painful james belushi nevers like no lynx order criminal intent transcript hello in buffy joe schmo

Night - CreepyPasta - Mr. Widemouth - Volume 2 - Patreon pick

Day Dreams and Nightmares with To_42

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2021 15:16

night internet creepypasta podcorn like no

"Hey, you're like Daddy now" - When a child is also diagnosed with T1D

Diabetes Connections with Stacey Simms Type 1 Diabetes

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 9, 2021 49:24

Chris Stocker is a well-known voice from the early Diabetes Online Community, launching his blog about life with type 1 diabetes called Life of a Diabetic in 2007. In 2019, he stepped back a bit from the DOC with good reason: his daughter, four years old at the time, had just been diagnosed as well. Now, two years later, Chris is jumping back into the online community via Instagram and a YouTube channel. He talks to Stacey about what it's been like for his family to adjust to their new situation. He also has a great message for any men who live with T1D. In Tell Me Something Good, one of the scientists behind one of the COVID vaccine.. is one of us! And some new books are our for the littlest ones of us.. The Adventures of Captain Lantus Little Shots for Little Tots When I Go Low: A Diabetes Picture Book Friends for Life information This podcast is not intended as medical advice. If you have those kinds of questions, please contact your health care provider. Check out Stacey's book: The World's Worst Diabetes Mom! Join the Diabetes Connections Facebook Group! Sign up for our newsletter here ----- Use this link to get one free download and one free month of Audible, available to Diabetes Connections listeners! ----- Get the App and listen to Diabetes Connections wherever you go! Click here for iPhone Click here for Android Stacey Simms 0:00 Diabetes Connections is brought to you by Dario Health – manage your blood glucose levels increase your possibilities by Gvoke Hypopen, the first premixed auto injector for very low blood sugar and by Dexcom take control of your diabetes and live life to the fullest with Dexcom Announcer 0:21 This is Diabetes Connections with Stacey Simms. Stacey Simms 0:27 This week a well known voice in the early diabetes online community stepped back for a bit stopping his blog and his brand new podcast when his daughter at age four was diagnosed with type one herself. Chris Stocker 0:39 Do you want to help me do it? Do you want to help me I you know decorate my infusion sets and things like that. So we shared those common bonds and that's how we looked at it from the day of diagnosis was Hey, you're like daddy now. Stacey Simms 0:51 It's been two years since Chris Stocker’s daughter's diagnosis, and he's jumping back into the online community. Chris shares his story as a dad of a child with T1Dwho lives with it himself in Tell me something good. One of the scientists behind one of the COVID vaccines is one of us and some new books for the littlest ones of us. This podcast is not intended as medical advice. If you have those kinds of questions, please contact your health care provider. Welcome to another week of the show. We aim to educate and inspire about diabetes with an emphasis on people who use insulin aim host Stacey Simms, my son Benny was diagnosed with type one right before he turned to more than 14 years ago. My husband lives with type two diabetes. You know, I started blogging just after Benny's diagnosis. And that blog, which I eventually called off the dial led me to the DOC the diabetes online community at that time, and this is 2007. When I started, it was basically blogs and some online chat rooms. And you know, gradually social media exploded and everything changed to what it is now shorter posts, influencers, more podcasts, that sort of thing. The Twitter chat remains DSMA on Wednesdays, if you're not familiar with that, that is a 10 year old now more than 10 year old chat on Twitter, I'll put a link in the show notes, but it's just hashtag DSMA Wednesday evenings at 9pm. Eastern for anybody in the diabetes community we'd like to give it a plug it's not separated by type or if you're a parent or a person with type one. And that's one of the ways that I first remember meeting Chris stocker and it was great to talk to him this week for so many reasons, but it really brought me right back to those early days. You know, when we had diabetes blog we can you know, to feel like we're finding all these really to me amazing, cool people in my computer, which depending on your age, either sounds ridiculous or you know, right on you, you know what I'm talking about. But before we get to Chris, I do want to share a Twitter post that I was tagged in this is self serving, but I just I have to share it. A gentleman named Hugh Stimson retweeted my episode release about Lily and Ypsomed and my conversation with with Mike Mason from Lilly diabetes all about that. And he wrote, “I wish political journalists asked follow up questions, the way Stacey Simms asks health device executives follow up questions.” Whew. Thank you so much for writing that. It's hard to describe what that means to me. And and compliments are always nice. But that right there is why I started the show back in 2015. I would listen to podcasts. And I'd be yelling back at the hosts, I'd be asking my own questions. I'd be like, follow up on that. He didn't ask. You know, look, radio people are interesting. And well, I am really glad to be built like this. It is an odd thing sometimes. But I'm glad it came in handy. I'm glad it helped. And I'm really glad that you feel like I'm doing a service by asking those questions and trying, you know, sometimes we don't get answers, but you got to ask. So thanks again. I really appreciate it. All right, Chris Stocker in just a moment. But first, Diabetes Connections is brought to you by Dario health. And you know, one of the things that makes diabetes management difficult for us. It just really annoys me and annoys Benny, it isn't actually the big picture stuff. It is all the little tasks adding up, you know, are you sick or running out of strips? Do you need some direction or encouragement going forward with your diabetes management with visibility into your trends help you on your wellness journey? The Dario diabetes success plan offers all of that and more. No more waiting in line at the pharmacy. No more searching online for answers. No more wondering about how you're doing with your blood sugar levels, find out more go to mydario.com forward slash Diabetes Connections. Chris Stocker’s blog back in the day was called life of a diabetic and he wrote about everything from his diagnosis as a college student in 2009. To Day in the Life stuff to product reviews to what dragged him down and made him mad and what lifted him up. When his oldest daughter was diagnosed just before she turned four. Chris felt like he had to pull back and face this challenge before venturing back online in such a public way. But he never really left the community. And I think dads and men with type one as you listen, there is really great advice here for you in terms of support and asking for help. Chris, welcome to the show. I'm excited to talk to you. I feel like we have talked before, but it's only been on Twitter and Social Media. Thanks for jumping on. Chris Stocker 5:19 No problem. I'm definitely happy and honored to be a guest here. Stacey Simms 5:24 Well, you're a podcast pro and a YouTube Pro. So this should be fun. But we do have a lot to talk about. Let's just start at the beginning for you. Because your diagnosis story happened when you were in college. Right? You were 19. Tell us about that. Chris Stocker 5:35 Yeah. So I was I was a freshman in college, I was playing football at King's College up in Wilkes Barre, and the season was over. And I just was I was working out I was losing a ton of weight. I was drinking a lot of Gatorade and water. So I was urinating quite frequently. And I just thought I was losing weight because I was working out. And then this one night, I didn't have an appetite. I started getting sick all day long. And I ended up in the emergency room with 858 blood sugar. Stacey Simms 6:05 What year was that? If you don't mind me asking. Chris Stocker 6:07 That was in 2000. Wow. 2004. Stacey Simms 6:10 What was the diagnosis process? Like? Did they you as a young adult like that? Did they believe you had type one? Was it an okay, diagnosis? Chris Stocker 6:17 Yeah, it was. I honestly don't remember too much of it. Because I was kind of in in like a foggy state. My mom has worked at a hospital for almost 40 years. She took me to her hospital. So of course, we got the VIP treatment went right into the ER. And, you know, they took labs, and immediately The doctor came in and was like, You have type 1 diabetes. So there was no real question or debating anything whatsoever. Then I remember seeing the on site endocrinologist, probably I think it was that night. This was probably around 2am. So yeah, there was no discussion ever about whether it was type one or or another type of diabetes. Stacey Simms 6:56 And what did they start you want? You immediately put on? I think 2004 elantas was around for adults, but not necessarily for kids. Like what what was your beginning entry into diabetes tree? Chris Stocker 7:07 Yes, my very first night home, I can remember almost exactly the ratios and everything. I was taking 14 units Atlantis at night, the carb ratio was about 51 to 5015 to one. And that was Yeah, I was on lantis. And I think I started on probably either human log or no blog at that time. I can't remember that. But I didn't know anything about pumps or was never even brought up to me at that point in 2004. Either. Unknown Speaker 7:36 Did you go back to college, Chris Stocker 7:37 I I was not able to go back to King's College at that time. So I stayed home for a year I went to community college. And then I got this bright, awesome idea that I wanted to go to college away from Pennsylvania. And so I decided to go to Boca Raton, Florida and finish up school at Florida Atlantic University. So not only was I only a year or so maybe a year and a half, after diagnosis, I was then telling my mom that I was going about 1200 miles away to go to college. So it was definitely a rough conversation to have with her for sure. Stacey Simms 8:15 Okay, well, it is sometime later, let's say right, it's, you know, we know you did pretty well in college, I assume. Can you give us parents the reassurance that you know, you You did? Okay, and that was the right move for you? Chris Stocker 8:27 Yes, I mean, it definitely forced me to really grow up pretty quickly. I mean, I was 20 by the time I went there, but I was a little bit more mature than a lot of my, you know, my roommates and a lot of my classmates, because I was managing this disease pretty much by myself. I had no family, no friends down there. So it was really it was on me, I was in constant communication with my diabetes educator up here in Pennsylvania. So I was able to communicate via email with them quite often. So you know, there were some times where I had some pretty high blood sugars. I did actually end up at the ER one night, because I was getting my insulin through the school on campus pharmacy, which was not open on the weekends. And I thought that I could go from Saturday afternoon till Monday morning with just about 10 units of insulin which I use in one meal. So I actually ended up in the ER, I had met my girlfriend who's now my wife down there. And this was all new to her too. And she ended up taking me to the hospital and think I was probably up in the five 600 range. And then that was an interesting phone call to my mother as well. Who at that time, then flew down and did the motherly thing and came down and spent a few days down there with me. Stacey Simms 9:49 I'm wondering though, I mean, my kids, my daughter's in college far away. Then he is a sophomore in high school and we're starting to talk about college and I've told him you know, you can go wherever you want. I'd love for him to stay next year. We're at least in this state, but I doubt that he will. I'm curious looking back What made you want to go so far away? I mean, do you feel I don't wanna put words your mouth I wonder like, did you want to prove something to yourself? Did you just love that school always wanted to go to Florida like why from there's so many great schools in that Pennsylvania northeast corner? Chris Stocker 10:16 The weather? Yeah. Yeah. So I was playing football. I played football my whole life. I was playing football, I kings, I actually left the football team because I had no energy. I couldn't I didn't want to work out anymore. Later to find out that that was diabetes related. And I just said, You know what, like, I don't wanna play football anymore. I just want to go somewhere that's totally different than than where I grew up. I love Pennsylvania. I'm actually back here now. But I wanted to go somewhere totally different. And I started looking at colleges. I'd always wanted to go to UNC Greensboro. I don't know why, but I always wanted to go there. And I started looking online. And one day I was watching a tennis tournament, and Andy Roddick was my favorite tennis player and it popped up that he lived in Boca Raton. So I went on the internet, looked up colleges in Boca Raton, I found Florida Atlantic and I fell in love with their website. So I always used to joke that I have Andy Roddick to thank for meeting my wife. Even though I've never met Andy Roddick, and Andy Radek has no idea who I am. Stacey Simms 11:22 Well, you wouldn't be the first to go to college because somebody either lived in that town or went to that town that you admired. But that's a great story. I love it. I want to talk about the diabetes online community, you were a very big part of this. You still are. But there was this time when there were so many bloggers and we were all just finding each other on Twitter. But I at first like to skip ahead in your story to when your daughter was diagnosed. I think that's such a fear of so many people I know who are adults with type one. But it does happen of course and you do deal with it. Do you mind sharing her story too. When was she diagnosed? Chris Stocker 11:56 She was we're actually coming up on her two years, in about a week and a half year so she was diagnosed on February 12 2019 in the middle of a snowstorm. And that was when we decided to take her to the ER was when we had about eight inches of snow on the ground. Stacey Simms 12:19 Right back to Chris in just a moment Diabetes Connections is brought to you by g Bo hypo pin. And almost everyone who takes insulin has experienced a low blood sugar. And that can be scary. A very low blood sugar is really scary. And that's where GMO hypo pen comes in. It's the first auto injector to treat very low blood sugar Jeeva hypo pen is pre mixed and it is ready to go with no visible needle. That means it's easy to use in usability studies, 99% of people were able to give g vote correctly. I'm so glad to have something new, find out more go to Diabetes connections.com and click on the G book logo. g Vox shouldn't be used in patients with pheochromocytoma or insulinoma. Visit chivo glucagon.com slash brisk. Now back to my conversation with Chris about the night his daughter was diagnosed. Had you suspected I mean I, you know I don't wanna get too personal. But Chris Stocker 13:14 the signs were there. And I feel that I had maybe been living in denial for a little bit. It is something that I had thought about every single day from the day my wife told me she was pregnant, that that what if scenario and it was something that I talked about a little bit, but I didn't talk about it a lot because I felt too vulnerable, I guess. So I shared that because I knew I would not be the only one that had those feelings. But when I would see her, she was potty trained. So she was waking up probably three or four times a night asking for water and having to go to the bathroom. And I really started to see a change in how frequently she was going to the bathroom. And then that kind of was going on for you know, a couple of nights. And then just one night, I just had a gut feeling. And I said well let's pull out my meter. Let's check her so you know, of course, she didn't want that to happen. And you know, I can remember just looking at the meter. The number was in the 250s but I just remember looking at the meter and then just knowing and just knew and just being just crushed. So it was it was something that I had kind of mentally prepared for but it's just one of those things I don't think you're ever prepared. You know you think you might be but it's just you know, it was just a crushing feeling. But then the dad and the type one in me kind of just said hey, it is what it is. We just got to do it. And you know we took it to the hospital. I'm amazed by how she handled the entire thing. It was just unbelievable being in a in an ambulance to go from the ER on hospital to the pediatric unit at another hospital. I mean she loved that still talks about it to this day. Really Stacey Simms 14:57 what did she do what she did like she was feeling Okay, and she was excited. Chris Stocker 15:01 Yes. So she didn't really know what was going on exactly our local hospital, which was, you know, a few blocks away, they didn't have a pediatric unit. So it's a system hospital. So they just, you know, put her and my wife in the ambulance and took them to the hospital that had a pediatric unit for her. So she got to watch TV pretty much all day long. She got to play with toys in there. So it was different, you know, getting getting those first round the labs done and putting her into the burrito as they called, it was probably her only bad memory of the entire process. So she definitely still talks about those days, even, you know, she was a month away from turning four. What is the burrito? So sorry, later down on the table to draw labs and freaking out? Yeah, so they kind of, you know, they put like a weighted almost like a weighted blanket over her to kind of strap or in and they just called it a burrito, I guess to make it sound not so terrifying. Stacey Simms 16:00 How long did you stay in the hospital? And then what did you have to do? I assume you know, your you and your wife are pretty well educated about diabetes. So I don't know that you needed much of that. But it's different when it's your child, Chris Stocker 16:09 I would assume? Yeah, it's totally different. And we were in the hospital for about two and a half, maybe three days, I do know that they kind of rushed us through the process. Because when we first went there, I basically just said, Hey, listen, I have type one. I know what it's like, you know, I know what to do. But I don't have a child with it. So I know I need to, you know, relearn some things, and things are going to be a little different. But the, you know, the staff there and the whole diabetes team was very helpful. And really, they directed most of the education, most of the conversations towards my wife, which was something that we kind of asked them to do, because I really, you know, my wife had lived with me for 14 years before that. But my diabetes was kind of just my own diabetes, I didn't ask her to take an active part and help managing if she knew if I was low to give me Skittles, she knew if I was high, I needed some more insulin, but she knew that I counted while I was supposed to be counting cards, but she knew the basics, but really, she needed to start, you know, learning. What is basal? And what is this? And what is that? So a lot of that education was geared towards her. And I think it was, you know, very helpful, not just for her, but also for me, as somebody that was living with it for at that time, I guess it was 15 years, then that there was like a refresher course that I that I needed. Because I was in my I was in my my own habits. I'm in my own ways. And it was it was really good to kind of take a step back and relook at how you know, what is diabetes one on one, you know, what is the right way to kind of do some of these things. Stacey Simms 17:48 I'm picturing that, you know, your daughter has watched you do this, even if you haven't been doing it in front of her the whole time and everything that this is now something that while that's not great, but she can share with her father, Chris Stocker 17:59 absolutely. 100%. And that's exactly how I looked at it was, how can I make this easier for her and just like a parent with anything, my initial instincts were, what can I do to make this better for my child, and it was just instantly that put on a smile for her show her that my diabetes is not a burden on me, it's not something that I don't like doing. So I made sure that when I had to check my sugar, or she, we were going to check our sugar, I would do mine also. And you know, now we share some of those same things. So it's like, oh, when when I have to change out my CGM, you know, my sensors is, do you want to help me do it? Do you want to help me, you know, decorate my my infusion sets and things like that. So we share those common bonds. And that's how we looked at it from the day of diagnosis, as well as Hey, you're like, Daddy, now you and Daddy, we both have diabetes. And my niece was actually diagnosed about two years before my daughter. So that was a whole whole nother thing of trying to you know, help my brother and my sister in law with with dealing with that diagnosis. So, you know, now she shared that with her cousin as well. So it was kind of something that, you know, with her daddy having in it, her cousin having it that that she was able to not. And also she didn't at that time really even know what it meant to have diabetes. She just she thought it was just cool that now she has daddy. So it was definitely the way that we decided to kind of take is to be able to share that bond with her. And that's what we have in common. Stacey Simms 19:23 Do you use the same technology as each other? Chris Stocker 19:25 We do. We do. Now, we did it at the time, but the same CGM and we both use the same insulin pumps, Stacey Simms 19:32 you don't have to answer this but you know when you say to your your daughter and this is what I think we would all want to say to a newly diagnosed child right? It's not going to be a burden. You can do this it's okay to have diabetes. And I think for me as the adult with my son ignorance was a little bit of bliss, right? You know, you can do this it's gonna be okay and it's not gonna stop you. You can play sports, you know, you can. Now they can fly planes, right? You can you can do what you want to do. But for somebody with type one who's lived with it for as long as you have Do you know that it is a burden? Sometimes you know that it is really hard. And I know this is not something you're gonna take, you're now, you know, almost six year old decided to Hey, by the way, you know, I mean these are conversations from they're much older, Chris Stocker 20:10 we've had some conversations I mean, as much of a conversation as you can have with an almost six year old about living a life with diabetes. So we really kind of talked about it in Scituate, you know, take today, for example, it's been snowing for almost three days, we were out in the snow. And I can I already know, as soon as we go to that, in that snow, she's going low, it's just 100% guaranteed every single time. So we had to stop playing in the snow. So we could drink juice. And you know, she doesn't want to stop playing. So we try to you know, just let her know that, hey, just because you know, the other kids in the neighborhood happen, you know, they're still out playing and whatnot, we just need to take a little extra precaution steps here and just sit down and have a juice and you know, we frame it that day, they don't get to have a juice right now, right? You're the one having giggles and juice. So you know, but it's just you know, so we use those kind of, it usually comes up during Lowe's, where we may say like, hey, let's let's settle down for a little bit. Let's not run around or play rough right? Now let's just sit down. And, you know, we'll play a play game of checkers or something just sitting on the couch. So we kind of have those conversations with her, like why she has to sometimes stop doing what she's doing, she can get right back into it. But we might need to take 10 1520 minutes here or there to just settle down a little bit, have a little snack or juice or something like that. But I think about how I'm going to have additional conversations with her in the future. And I've gone back and forth, you know, talking in the mirror how I'm going to handle it, it's probably going to be one of those situations where I have a great plan going in, and it's just not going to go anywhere near how I play it. Stacey Simms 21:50 Um, I do want to ask you a few more questions about your children because you have another child as well. But let's take a couple of minutes and talk about the diabetes online community from a few years back, if you're a longtime listener of the show, you know, we started this in 2015, which was probably the beginning of the end of the like the hybrid if we were to check blogging and that kind of thing. And the whole, you know, I guess what some people would call the Oh g diabetes people, you know, maybe that's when it peaked my non scientific method here. But you were, you know, you were right in there and all of those conversations, and I'd love to know, how did you find the online community? What was your first entry. Chris Stocker 22:26 So I first started blogging or even finding out about blogs back in 2009, I was working for a, I was interning actually at a diabetes supply company. And they said, Hey, we want to start a blog. So I started to write blogs for the company. And then I was like, Okay, this is I kind of enjoyed this. And then I started finding other type one, blogs. And I thought, you know what, I have so much that I want to say, and I felt that I didn't have anybody to talk to about it. Because I didn't know anybody with diabetes, I went to high school with the kid. But I knew we drink Gatorade at halftime of football games. But that was it, we had water in a Gatorade, that was all I knew about diabetes. So I just started writing things that were in my mind that I think I just wanted to get off my chest, I just started writing about them. And I didn't even care that nobody was reading it, I just wanted a place to be able to just share my thoughts. And it just helped me just help my mind mentally just be able to get it out on to you know, typing on the keyboard and just reading it. So that's kind of how I started. And then I can't remember getting my first comment, I got a comment on a post, it was probably after about six months of writing daily. And so I mean, I can't do the math that fast. I mean, I, I was well into 100 posts before my very first comment, and somebody said, Wow, I was going through this exact same thing. And your feedback here really changed my mindset on it. And I'm going to try this and you know, make changes in my life and whatnot. And I just thought, wow, I just changed somebody's life. Like I just changed how somebody thinks about something simply by me just typing on a computer. And then it just that was kind of that first, like, I'm actually helping other people by just getting out the words that are bothering me. And then it just kind of took off. From there. I just started writing daily and just I started meeting other people. You mentioned previously speaking to people on Twitter and a little bit of Facebook back then, but just meeting a ton of different people online, and just writing and writing and writing and writing and just sharing my story. And it was just, you know, I was never very edited in my blog post. And even my wife would always say, Did you know that you spelled this wrong? Or you said this? Like No, because I type and I wrote the way that I speak and it came out that way and it was just how, you know it was I didn't have a you know, a very like a very edited style. And it just kind of, you know, people kind of just connected with it and it was just Every time I would get a new comment or a new share or something it felt it just felt motivating to know that I was helping people by getting those stories out there. Stacey Simms 25:08 It is funny. That's one of the reasons why I love podcasting, because there is no editor for my grammar or my spelling. And I have transcripts now. And those are very difficult for me because I usually we clean up the diabetes language because my transcription software doesn't speak diabetes very well. But I'm not correcting the grammar and the spelling from pot. Yeah, it's really, really interesting. And I'm going to link up your your blog if that's okay. Because I think a lot of those older posts in itself, a lot of residents, I mean, I blogged as well. It's starting in 22,007. And I think two people read that blog, but I've kept it up. Well, I just like you I got so much more out of it right. For me, it was perfect for me, I got I got a lot of help, just mental health assistance for writing it almost like a diary. But it has been in the last couple of years, people have found the goalposts and it's helpful because diabetes issues change, but not really, right technology changes things, but not really, Chris Stocker 26:03 you know, I still get notifications of comments on posts that I wrote back in 2010 2011. And one of the areas and this kind of circles back to my daughter's diagnosis is that I wrote maybe, I think I wrote two posts total about my fears of one day having a child B die, those with diabetes. And to this day, those are still some of my most, you know, most read posts and most commented posts and people to this day still comment or send me emails like, hey, how did you go about this? Or how did you deal with this? And, and it's just, you know, those are things that I wrote, five, six years ago before I even knew I was having a child. And it's still relevant today as well. Stacey Simms 26:43 Well, you're dipping your toe back into social media with, you know, YouTube videos, you're on Instagram, are you podcasting again, Chris Stocker 26:49 I, I am not as of now, but I'm not saying that I'm not going to. It's funny, I did start a podcast, and I recorded two episodes. And my daughter was then diagnosed. So I kind of stopped. You know, I Stacey Simms 27:05 mentioned that when I started this podcast in 2015, it seemed to be kind of like, I don't know, for sure. But from my experience, it was like this high point of activity online for certain a certain group of people. And a lot of those folks have kind of moved on or paused and come back. And, you know, I wonder too, if there isn't just a natural life to some of this old natural burnout to some diabetes stuff. And you've been very open about those kinds of things. Can you share that part? Chris Stocker 27:31 Yeah, absolutely. So once my daughter was diagnosed, kind of everything just kind of went on Paul's it was this is our focus. Right now, this is everything that we want to focus all of our efforts on that I was actually going back to, I was getting my real estate license at that time, as well. So there was a lot, a lot going on at that time. And once I decided to start getting back into writing, I sat at the computer probably 20 different times to start writing about my daughter being diagnosed. And I was just filled with diabetes just all day long, whether it was I was managing my own diabetes, and my alerts were going off, and then it was time to check my daughter's blood sugar and then give her insulin and do her calculation, then do my calculation. And it was just too much that at the end of the day, or the the start of the day, I just didn't want to, I didn't want to think about diabetes anymore. I didn't want to write about it, I just kind of wanted to manage it. And that was it. And I definitely felt a disconnect from the diabetes community. Because I just kind of just left I just I shut down. And I just didn't want to be involved with anything. I didn't want to see posts, I didn't, I didn't want to read people's posts, I didn't want to watch videos, I didn't want to listen to anything, I just wanted to kind of just deal with that. And and it was just, it was a lot at once. And that's kind of what shut everything down for almost a year and a half. And then I started to write again a little bit, and they kind of came back to me where it was, I can remember the exact moment I was writing a blog post and my low alert went off and within five minutes, my daughter's low alert went off. And then my Omni pod alerted me that I had a low reservoir. And my daughter's went off about 15 minutes later that hers was being changed that night. So we were both having a low both theater pots change that same night. And I think that I actually had to change out my CGM that night as well and it was just a complete overload and I said are stopping again and I can't deal with this I need a mental break from from diabetes and I need to be at my strongest in order to be that you know role model and example to my daughter and I felt that let her see me get frustrated with with an alert or an alarm and and be like oh, I have to change that tonight or hi we have to do this or I'll have to drink a juice. I tried to never let her see that and never let her see that. There may be some frustrations that come with living Diabetes, Stacey Simms 30:01 I'm hesitating, Chris, because Far be it from me to armchair psychologize anybody, but I want to plant this in your brain. And I agree six years old is not the time to do that. But I hope as she gets older, you do allow her to see some of those frustrations. And again, I'm not your doctor, or psychologist, right? I think if you were my dad, Unknown Speaker 30:22 I hope this really is not at a place, I'm such a nosy person. Mom, I Stacey Simms 30:27 become that we're my dad, to share those experiences, you know, when somebody shares the bad as well as the good, it just makes your bed feel not so bad. So when she's like, 10 1112, you know, those are the times when you guys I know, I know, it's in your future that you're going to share all of that, and she's gonna appreciate it so much. But I I agree, because I remember with Benny, you know, at six years old, you're just, you know, it's like, you know, you gotta brush your teeth. So you don't, you know, you don't get carried away. Everything's fun. Chris Stocker 30:55 Yeah, I mean, it's, you know, it's a struggle at times, just to every three days, when a new pod has to go on, you know, she has to be watching either a cartoon or using the iPad, some some type of distraction. Now, we don't plan on doing that forever. And we've already kind of slowed that down a bit of what we let her do to kind of distract her from it. But I know that that's going to change in the future. And those are definitely, you know, some conversations that I would definitely have with her about the frustrations and stuff. But I think my thought process behind it is that if she sees that I'm getting frustrated of having to put on a new ami pot or put on a new Dexcom that she's going to think that it's so you know that she's going to put up by force who and and it's just something that I know will come one day, but I'm just trying to push it off as far as far Stacey Simms 31:44 and I think you're very wise, because I will share with you that Danny ran away from insets. He had to bid pump his whole life. And you know, every three days, you're teaching the inset, and we tried everything Chris, we did, you know, numbing cream and ice cubes and rewards and he ran away from them. It was a struggle until about age eight or nine. And then it amazingly got better. And now he does everything himself for the past, I want to say three or four years even. And it's and then some kids start doing everything themselves very early. Right. I think when you're diagnosed tiny the trend that I noticed anecdotally is that it takes them longer just to be completely independent, because that's how they've been taught. So I don't take that iPad away before she's ready. She'll let you know when she's ready. Unknown Speaker 32:26 You're right, Stacey Simms 32:27 she will, it'll be fine. And I will tell you one funny story. I don't know if I'll keep this in because I'm talking too much in this interview. But we were laughing the other day because I used to let Benny say what we called potty words when he changed his incident. So right, we put it on and he could be like, oh poop or whatever. And I said to him in the kitchen the other night, he came down to change. And I said do you want to yell some potty words? And we were hysterical of the thought of thinking of my preschooler yelling real curse words, like Could you imagine if you know what he thinks of potty words today, so you can fill in the blank on that. Chris Stocker 32:58 I like that. I like that idea. Actually, she will probably enjoy. Stacey Simms 33:03 I think we would all like to yell some potty words when we're doing stuff. Unknown Speaker 33:06 Absolutely. Stacey Simms 33:07 Let me ask you about your your second child because your wife was pregnant, which had to be so stressful when your daughter was diagnosed during that time. And you had, as you've said, you'd already been nervous about any of your children being diagnosed. Again, I feel like I'm being very nosy. But What went through your mind at that time. Chris Stocker 33:25 So initially, I mean, my initial thought was the stress that was going to be put on my wife and her being pregnant at that time, and making sure that she was okay with it, and trying to comfort her as much as possible and try to take away as much of the stress that I could possibly do, you know, from a mother, and, you know, knowing that she was pregnant, we knew there were chances. And it was just a decision and conversations we had throughout our relationship. And before we were married, we're gonna have kids no matter what it's what we want to do, and we're not going to let the thought or the chance of something stop us from doing anything. And that's kind of our, our thought process in life in general. So we knew that we were going to, you know, have wanted to have a second child. And we actually were scheduled to find out whether we were having another daughter or not. On February 13, I think and my daughter was diagnosed on the 12th. So it was actually in the same hospital. My wife left and went, you know, down the hall and oh, my God on the elevator and went like two floors down. And, you know, she did what she had to do there and then so we were you know, planning on having this big celebration to find out if we were you know what we were having and next thing you know, we're we're in the hospital for a totally different reason. Stacey Simms 34:48 I gotta be honest to Chris, I love talking to dads of kids with type one because we hear so much from moms, right, so many of the bloggers and the writers and podcasters like me Moms. So let me ask you as a dad, now not as just a person with type one, but as a dad of a child of type one. What advice would you give newly diagnosed families, I mean, you're almost you're two years into this. Now you know what worked. Chris Stocker 35:12 I would say that just being open, especially with you know, your spouse about how you may be feeling about it, I think a lot of times that the reason why we don't hear dads speak out too much is because they want to be the backbone, they want to be the strong one they want to, to not show that they're upset and show their feelings. And for me, I've been open with my wife, me and my wife, we've had conversations, we've cried together about it, we've talked about things that I let her know, my fears that I may have over things about it, it has helped tremendously, because there are times where I just say, like, Hey, listen, I need a break tonight, I can't do this, I've had a bad diabetes day, I'm stressed out by this, I'm just getting upset about it, I need a break. And that open communication has really helped us become an amazing team. And quite honestly, my wife almost entirely manages my daughter's diabetes. At this point, I cannot express like how grateful and like, just proud and I'm amazed by how my wife has taken this on and have she just tackled this head on. And I mean, she's pretty much almost managing my diabetes at this point, telling me how many carbs are in my meals and this and that. So going back to being the dad is that I just think that it's okay to you know, you just have to be okay with having those uncomfortable and vulnerable conversations and, and just know that it's for the better good, like, let your guard down, let it out, it's going to help that you don't have to just be you know, the strong one, you know, every single day in every single situation where it is okay to just let your fears out. And if you need to talk to somebody, talk to somebody find somebody that you know, you may have something in common with and just get it out and talk it out. And it feels so much better. Even having diabetes for 1415 years before she was diagnosed, I reached out to other dads have type one kids that I knew from meeting in the community and had, you know, conversations with them, like, what do I do from here? Like, I know how to manage mine, but like, What do I do? How do I do this? How do I tell her this? How do I explain this, and that helped me tremendously. And that's part of that community feeling and knowing that, you know, for all those years, I was, you know, putting into the community to be able to reach out when I was the one in in need of help. And it was great to have that community there to let me know, like, You got this. Stacey Simms 37:40 I'm curious, if anything in the last two years with your daughter has surprised you any of your reactions to things or anything that she's done, you know, you were not six years old or four years old, when you were diagnosed, did anything surprise you about her diagnosis or your experiences with it or your reaction? Chris Stocker 37:57 I am not kind of glued to the Dexcom as much as my wife is. And my wife is with my daughter a lot more during the day than than I am as well. But one thing that my daughter does is she knows that if she's going to be you know, she's playing upstairs in her room, she needs to now take her phone with her or her Dexcom actually with her and she will let us know. I think she was only diagnosed for maybe three or four months, the first time where she said to me, daddy, my knees feel wobbly. And my initial reaction was, first of all, how do you know what the word wobbly means. And second of all, let's get the meter out. And let's check real quick. And I can remember we were in target which another place no matter every time I go in there, it ends up in a low, but we are in target and she said her knees felt wobbly. We checked her she was 41. And I just remember picking her up and sprinting to the front of the store and just finding the first juice I can find and just said just start drinking and I remember her asking about paying for it or something. I'm like drinking it don't you don't have to worry about that. I'll figure that out. Just start drinking. So that was probably a surprising moment to me of her letting me and this was before she had Dexcom. So that was very kind of surprising moment to me that she used the word wobbly and she knew that she fell off. So now she does that quite often now where she she says I feel low. She'll Look at her Dexcom and just randomly I'll just hear her scream out 125 or something. Okay, I guess that's what her number is so low that she she has taken that on as you know, she's kind of proud, not kind of she's extremely proud to have diabetes. You know, she in her classes. She talks tells people that she has diabetes and whatnot. So she definitely surprised me of how proud she is to wear it. That's awesome. That means you guys are doing an awesome job as parents. That's something we actually did kind of talk to her about that she doesn't ever have to be ashamed or, you know, she doesn't have to be scared to tell somebody that she has diabetes. In fact, you know, because my philosophy has always been I want to tell you that I have it because in case something Goes go wrong. I want somebody around me to know Stacey Simms 40:04 this before I let you go, you have been posting you know more on Instagram and you're really getting back into it. And I noticed you posted a lot about your daughter and her reaction to the virtual friends for life conference. And I, I was part of that. And I gotta tell you, I wasn't sure what to expect me this isn't a commercial for friends for life, even though we love them. But I was stunned at how good it was to connect even virtual with people. You know, we're all stuck at home, we can't get out to meet up. But I loved that conference, did your daughter have fun? There was so much for kids. Chris Stocker 40:35 She had an amazing time. I mean, she still talks about it almost every day. To this day, she talks about the different events that were going on, she talked about playing bingo with with the guy from Toy Story. She talked about the all the animals that are Parker Ranger that was there. And I mean, she loved it, she loved seeing other kids and hearing other people talk about it. And we were planning on going, you know, this year in 2022 it so it was something that she already knew was going to happen. And you know, the day was over, she was she started crying. She was so sad. She couldn't wait till the next one. And it was just, it was a you know, it was life changing to her because, you know, she had only known me and her cousin that had and a few other people that she had met that had diabetes, but to be opened up to this world of all these other kids that were living with it and we're all sharing their different CGM and their different pumps and seeing a different perspective other than just her life and you know, my life with it was just absolutely amazing for her to experience that even virtually, it was just amazing how smooth it went. And and all the activities that were there for the kids. Yeah, Stacey Simms 41:50 I mean, I gotta be honest with you, I didn't put a lot of time because I figured, well, you know, I'll do my speech. And I'll watch one or two, the research updates. I was hanging out in the social hallways, you know, with my mom, friends, it was great. I was I thought it was a very well done. And so we'll put a plug in because they've got the march one coming up. And we put a link in the show notes. Is there anything else Chris that you wanted to push people to or to you know, to put all your links to follow or anything that you've got coming up that you wanted me to make sure to mention, Chris Stocker 42:14 people can follow me on on Instagram, it's just life of a diabetic, it is a newer account, because I am trying to keep it separate it from a personal Instagram account that I had previously. And it's just just to keep things simple and clean. I've just kind of started a new one. And I am putting out weekly YouTube videos now so they can check that out, you know, with the link in the in the show notes, but I just hope that you know, I can continue to help people and share my story and also my daughter's story. And as long as it helps one person, I feel that all the work and effort that goes into it is well worth it. That's awesome. Stacey Simms 42:51 Well, no doubt you'll be helping other parents and other adults with type one. Chris, I can't thank you enough for coming on. It was so much fun to talk to after connecting online for all these years. I really appreciate it. Chris Stocker 43:00 Absolutely. I appreciate you having me on. Unknown Speaker 43:07 You're listening to Diabetes Connections with Stacey Simms. Stacey Simms 43:13 More information including Chris's YouTube channel and his Instagram and all that good stuff will be in the shownotes. And that is always on the episode homepage as well. So if you're listening in an app and it doesn't show you what you want, just go to Diabetes connections.com and find the episode should be very easy to do. I should let you know he mentioned it went by quickly when he was talking about friends for life. He mentioned the Toy Story guy playing Bingo. what he's talking about there is john Ratzenberger who people might remember as Cliff Klavan from Cheers, but who has been a voice of a character in every Pixar movie, his son lives with type one. And Tom Karlya who's a very big part of friends for life, and also the Diabetes Research Institute. He knows him through his work through the DRI together. So Tom brought john to friends for life this year, which is really, really cool. And as I mentioned, they have another event coming up in March and I will put a link in the show notes on that. Tell me something good in just a moment. But first Diabetes Connections is brought to you by Dexcom. And we started with Dexcom back in the olden days before there was share. I think we had Dexcom for two years, almost two years before Cher was added as a feature. So you know, we know using Sharon follow makes a big difference. To this day Benny and I set parameters about when I'm going to call him how long to wait, you know, that kind of thing. It really helps us talk and worry about diabetes less. It helps if I need to troubleshoot with him. I love this you can see what's happening over the last 24 hours and not just at one moment in time. The alerts and alarms that we set help us from keeping the highs from getting too high and jump on lows before they're a big issue. Internet connectivity is required to access separate Dexcom follow up. To learn more, go to Diabetes connections.com and click on the Dexcom logo. Our first tell me something good story is one I wish I had jumped on myself. But I read about it at diabetes mine and Mike Hoskins always does great work over there. And I had to share it with you. Dr. Drew Weissman at the University of Pennsylvania is one of two key researchers behind the science used to develop the first COVID-19 vaccines. And he lives with type 1 diabetes. He was diagnosed more than 50 years ago, he didn't announce that he had type one, you know what he was in the news for this vaccine. But apparently some eagle-eyed folks by the photo of him getting his own COVID vaccine shot and they saw that he had an insulin pump on and I'm looking at the photo, as I'm telling you this, he's getting the Pfizer vaccine. And you can see it looks like a Medtronic pump on his waist. I will link up the story from diabetes mine, which is a great conversation with him, including photos, and Great job guys getting that done. Maybe we can grab Dr. Weisman and get him on the show. Our other bit of good news comes in the form of more books for very little ones with type 1 diabetes. We've had folks on the show before who are authors of children's books, which I think are a really vital part of young children's care when it comes to type one. I know reading books like this to Benny, and bring these books to preschool and kindergarten and really willing to elementary school helped give us friends a good understanding. And you know, just seeing yourself in a book is a wonderful, wonderful thing. So I just want to mention a couple that are newer out there. The Adventures of Captain Lantus is one that I have seen a lot of this focuses on seven year old Maxs, who has type 1 diabetes, and it's kind of a fantastical adventure, because everyone in beta town has type 1 diabetes. So this is a real fantasy story and very cute stuff. Brandy in our Facebook group in Diabetes Connections, the group published her T1D toddler book, it's called Little shots for little tots. And it is also very cute looking. And one that I think is actually a pretty important one is called when I go low, a type 1 diabetes picture book. This is by ginger Vieira. And Michael Lawson. And we have talked to both of those folks on the show about other books that they have put out there. But this is a book that I wish I'd had when Benny was younger. The other ones are great stories and always fun. But this teaches about when a child is low, what does that feel like? What How do you articulate it? You know, what should you know about it, it's a great way to get young people with diabetes to talk about what low blood sugar feels like, and to help explain to their friends and friends, families and kids at school and that kind of thing. So I will put the links to all of these guys. They're all on Amazon. And I'm sure they all have their own author pages as well. But there are so many great books about diabetes right now, if you've got tips, or you'd like to hear more, I had thought about in the past doing book reviews, but I don't have the time. So if that's something you're interested in, let me know, we could have an ongoing segment or something. I'm gonna be looking for new Tell me something good stories in our community. So please keep an eye out for that. I love to ask in the Facebook group. And you can always give me your good stuff. Before I let you go quick reminder, if you are a podcast person, if you are thinking of starting one, if you have one, I have a podcast course it has nothing to do with diabetes. This is all about podcasting, and learning about podcast sponsorship in an ethical way, in a way that makes sense for small businesses. You know, I'm not Amazon podcasts here, or Wondry, or Spotify. This is about independent podcasters who want to serve their communities and make some money, enough money to cover the costs of the podcast or perhaps make a living at it. So I've launched a new course there's a free webinar coming up, I'll put all the information in the show notes. And if you're just here for diabetes, which of course I think 99% of you are we have another classic episode coming up later this week, we're going to be talking about spare arose. But this isn't any spare a rose, informative interview. This is my very first game show that I did here on Diabetes Connections and it features some very familiar names, some very silly stuff, and a couple of mistakes along the way that we left in. So that should be fun, and that should be out on Thursday. Thank you so much to my editor John Buckenas from audio editing solutions. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time, I'm Stacey Simms. Be kind to yourself. Benny 49:21 Diabetes Connections is a production of Stacey Simms Media. All rights reserved. All wrongs avenged

Ep #126 Tha Fuck You Mean I Can't Break Up Wit You?

Sayith Loud

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 19, 2020 34:44

You ever try to break up with someone, and they tell you NO, like NO, Like NO your not breaking up with me. Well we're talking about that "What the Fuck" moment. ...... Brought to you the way your favorite GILF always does it, Fun, Funny and Real. www.sayithloud.com --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sayithloud/message

real fuck funny fun like no gilf

#122: How To Figuring Out What Your Audience Will Buy From You

The Blogger Genius Podcast with Jillian Leslie

Play Episode Listen Later May 27, 2020 52:36

If you want to know how to successfully sell your products online, you are in for a treat. I'm interviewing my friend, Monica Froese, from Redefining Mom, on how to know what products to sell, how to find product opportunities, how to build highly converting sales funnels, and how to provide wins for your customers so they keep coming back. We do a deep dive into the strategies and frameworks you need to know to build compelling products for your audience and market them successfully so they happily buy. Show Notes MiloTree Pop-Up App MiloTree Membership Group Redefining Mom Catch My Party Host 0:04 Welcome to the Blogger Genius Podcast brought to you by MiloTree. Here's your host, Jillian Leslie. Jillian Leslie 0:11 Hello, everyone. Welcome back to The Blogger Genius. Looking for tech support, teaching, and community? Join our MiloTree Membership Group Before I get started, I want to announce that we have a program called the MiloTree Membership Group. We were listening to what you guys were telling us in terms of feedback. And one thing that you kept saying is getting tech support is difficult as a blogger. Bloggers have to wear so many hats. So the idea that you have to dig in and deal with all of the back end technology related to your blog can be difficult. Also, we've heard that you want ongoing teaching sessions and workshops, like in the podcast, and third, you're looking for a community of like-minded bloggers and entrepreneurs. So within the MiloTree Membership Group, we offer tech support. We offer workshops, and we offer community. It's all of that rolled into one. We're very excited about it. It's like having a whole support system behind you. So if you want to learn more head to milotree.com/membership. It's a monthly membership, but you can cancel at any time. We, as you can tell, are really committed to helping you succeed. For today's episode, I have my friend Monica Froese back on the show. What we are talking about is business building. And we are talking about how to think about your blog as a business, how to roll up your sleeves and really get to know your audience, how to solve problems for your audience, an dhow to sell to your audience. We give you the whole framework in this podcast episode. And I love Monica because she is so straight. And her advice is so clear. I think you are really going to get a ton out of this interview. So without further delay, here is my interview with my friend Monica Froese from Redefining Mom. Monica, welcome to the show. Monica Froese 2:51 Thank you so much for having me again. And I was just saying to you that your episodes are some of my most popular so I was very excited to get you back. Monica Froese 2:51 I think we've recorded some really good ones like the first one was right after I had the baby, which I still think is one of my favorite because it's a it's like a snapshot in time. I get to listen to how I was feeling in that postpartum period. Jillian Leslie 3:03 Yes. And I think that you were so authentic and honest about the struggles. Yeah. And I found that. Yeah, but I think that there was something. I think other people could see themselves in that struggle to go. Yeah, that explains all those feelings that I'm having. Monica Froese 3:19 Yeah, for real and that and I've gotten emails with people who told me that that really helped them. So I appreciate you having me on so that I can share that kind of stuff with people. How to Build Online Products Jillian Leslie 3:28 Absolutely. So what I wanted to talk about with you today is products. You've built your business— you tell me if this is true—by serving needs, finding needs, serving those needs to your audience. And we talked about this before, which is when you started Redefining Mom, you were a variety of different things. And I think that you've been able to potentially find your sweet spot. Monica Froese 3:58 Yes, even a lot has changed since the last time we talked in terms of my product strategy. So when Redefining Mom started in 2013, there were no products because I was working full-time corporate, didn't have time for that. When I decided to start taking it seriously, I knew that I really wanted to do products, but I needed somewhere to start. So I had this brand Redefining Mom, which is for working moms. Now it was for corporate working moms and like time management for corporate working moms, and we've morphed into helping moms balance running a business and motherhood. So it's taking them out of corporate and moving them into like the entrepreneurial space, but we still cater to the mom needs and the business needs. But what has happened is so when I got started with Redefining Mom and creating products, it was very much geared towards the stuff that moms needed to address. And I started with a product. The Importance of Experimentation in Building Products online Jillian Leslie 5:02 You started with like a Google Sheet or a spreadsheet or something for yourself. Monica Froese 5:07 still one of my best selling products. Yeah. So I basically when I in 2016, I remember this, it was June of 2016. And I wanted to accelerate the process of leaving my corporate job. And I wanted the quickest win I could get. And my husband actually said to me, because we had this really awesome family budget spreadsheet that we had developed while we were in corporate, to manage our finances, we got out of $65,000 in debt doing it or using it. And he's like, moms need this. Why don't you just throw this up as your product and see how it goes? Well, it ended up going very well. Which was like my first sign of understanding what people need and then how to fill that gap. Jillian Leslie 5:55 So it was like a light bulb moment. Monica Froese 5:57 It was a light bulb moment and I would say it took a few months for the light bulb moment because I, I didn't really know what I was looking at, like, why are all these people buying this stuff and or buying the spreadsheet and I had to like back into it. So it took a few months to try to dissect what was going on. Like, why was this such a big hit? And, you know, part of it was the uniqueness of Pinterest at the time, and still the uniqueness of Pinterest, which we can talk about. But at the time in 2016, you could get a lot of organic traffic pretty fast, like you could rank under keywords pretty fast in 2016. And this happened to take off for me. And now you can still rank but it's a little bit different. Creating a Product for Pinterest by Using Pinterest And I've I look at creating products for Pinterest a little bit differently than I used to, which I know you're probably gonna talk about, but what happened after the budget spreadsheet was I started creating more products for moms. Specifically, I had a course which I've since retired, which was to help moms take their corporate skills and repurpose them into the online world. But what happened was I ended up getting really good at Pinterest ads because I'm impatient. And I got to the point where I was sick of waiting for organic traffic to come to me. I really wanted to have more metrics that I could look at. I love looking at data, you only have so many metrics that you can go off of like you can't see specifically what keywords are getting you traffic clicks, conversions, but promoted pins would tell me that. So I got really good at that. And of course, as soon as you get good at something that nobody else is doing, everybody wants to know how you did that. And so teaching Promoted Pins took on this life of its own. I developed the Promoted Pins course right before I had the baby at the end of 2017. And I would say for all of 2018 and all of 2019, it was all about refining that course like I put all of my energy into making this the best Pinterest ads course that it could be. There's no recurring fee to be in my student group. And so like people who bought the course two years ago are still getting support. I do monthly office hours. And so I really became known as the Pinterest ads girl. But there was a part of me that still felt this pull to help moms and create products that I knew would help them. And for reasons that they were coming to Redefining Moms so we made the decision, which we hope to finish this year, which is to break off all of the Pinterest products under my own brand. Creating Products for Women Balancing Careers and Motherhood So just MonicaFroese.com and bring Redefining Mom back to what it was originally intended to do, which was to help moms, particularly with balancing motherhood and their careers, specifically bringing them from their corporate career into the online world. So this really has created this opportunity to create two distinct products sets for two different audiences. Jillian Leslie 9:00 That's terrific. Again, we have Catch My Party we have MiloTree. They don't look at all alike, but one came out of the other one. And one is a SaaS business, which means software-as-a-service and one is a B2C business which is, you know, consumer-facing. And most people have no idea I'm the person behind both, you know, there is some crossover, but not a lot. But again, it was organically how we grew our business. Right? Nobody said, you know, you didn't start off and go, I'm going to become Pinterest expert. You started using it. It started working for you. And you thought I can teach this. Monica Froese 9:37 And I really feel like now that I'm a few, like four years into really taking this as a serious full time business. My corporate skills were invaluable to me for where I ended up here because I looked at Pinterest differently. All the people who are teaching Pinterest back in 2016 were not looking at it in the same way. All I care about is ROI and what I'm getting from it. So, like I got very hyper hung up on the fact that everyone was talking about all the pageviews they could get from Pinterest. And I just was sitting there scratching my head thinking, why do I want a pageview? I don't like what comes after the page view and see, you know, sale. Yep. And that's the thing, like, you know, a lot of bloggers at the time and still, are monetizing through ads and sponsorships and stuff. But you don't have as much control over that. And I couldn't get, I could not get away from, why am I going to spend all of this time getting traffic to my site for them to click away from my site. It just never resonated with me. And when I put into place the principles that I executed in corporate, which was like the ROI principles that I was accountable for when I ran large marketing campaigns. It just seemed logical to me that paid advertising was the way to go, and the most targeted way to go. And that's kind of how it ended up happening. And honestly, I don't regret it at all. Because while I still have this pull, I want to help women get out of corporate into this world and repurpose their skills. I couldn't have funded that part of the business if I hadn't gotten to be known for something. And if that happened to be Pinterest ads, that's great. And that has served me too. So it's been an interesting ride, to be honest with you. I couldn't have predicted it a couple of years ago. How to Create Emergent Online Products Jillian Leslie 11:30 There is this concept that I think about a lot. I talk about it a lot, and it's called emergent business building. And what that means is bottom up, not top down. So top down would be, I have this hypothesis, and I'm going to go toward it and not be open to what my audience is saying to me. What people are coming to me, for that kind of thing. And, again, I have used this example I live in Austin. An Austin is all about emergent development, meaning it's the antithesis of the planned community. You go down some street and like there's a shopping mall, and it looks like it's out of the 70s. But there'll be one cool coffee shop in there. And then all of a sudden, you notice, like, there's the record store, or there's something else is coming, like right next to it. And it's because all of a sudden people are discovering this. And then other businesses are drawn to those businesses. So it looks really messy. Yes, but it's emergent. And I believe when you are building businesses on the internet, that is definitely the way to go. Because if you think you're going to plan this out, that it's going to work the way you think it's going to work, I think you are setting yourself up for a world of hurt. Should you Niche Your Blog Down? Monica Froese 12:53 I completely agree. And actually, because I originated in the blog world, I hear a lot of conflicting advice about you have to niche down right away, or it's okay to go broader and then niche down and I am all for the broader first to see what resonates. If you think about it, I had no business putting any budgeting stuff on Redefining Mom, it wasn't the purpose of the site. But I did it anyways, and it ended up being a huge smash hit, which has made me a ton of money. And I wouldn't have done it if all I listened to were the people who told me you have to niche down, you have to niche down, you have to niche down. I'm to the point where I firmly believe if you know how to drive targeted traffic, then you can really have a funnel about anything as long as you're, I mean, don't be a fraud, like be able to give the advice that you're saying that you can give, like for me with the budgeting spreadsheet. I literally had at that point used it for five years. We did use it to pay down $65,000 a debt. It's the only thing that saved us from literally going completely broke when we had our daughter because we were paid on commission, and it was how we estimated out, like the highs and lows if we hit commission if we didn't, how we, you know, literally could pay our bills. And because I used it, I was able to authentically speak about it and the tools that we use every day. Like, I would have sat back in 2016 and said, doesn't everyone have a budget spreadsheet? And my husband said to me, he's like, No, your father is a CPA, and drilled this into your head. Ordinary people don't actually do this all that often. And I was like, Really? Jillian Leslie 14:34 I know. Yes. Yes, yes. So we call them "at bats," which are, how many times are you at bat? And the goal is to increase the number of experiments that you are running, because you don't necessarily know what's going to hit, and you think you have a hypothesis, but I can't tell you how many times we've been wrong, or it's morphed into something. We could never anticipate it. And that is always the surprise. You are trying to attract the audience that you think is the right audience, but you have to be open to I always say like, hold your hypotheses, have them, but hold them lightly. Because you can get blinded thinking, Oh, no, you're the wrong audience for me. So I'm going to kind of push you aside trying to attract the quote-unquote, right audience, when you need to recognize No, no, this is the right audience. They just look different than I thought they were gonna look. How to Attract an Audience on the Internet Monica Froese 15:34 So I get asked all the time, because I bring on thousands of people through my budgeting stuff onto my list, which my email list is integrated with these both sides of the business, and I've gone back and forth about are we gonna divide out the email list or are we not at this point. I don't think I will. Because the thing is, if people are interested in saving money, they're also interested in making money and because my brand attracts, primarily moms. My messaging is actually very on point if they came in on the budgeting side, or they came in wanting to know more about how to build a business, how to get good at Pinterest, marketing, all of that stuff. I have done a really good job, in my opinion, at least of connecting the two. And the people who don't like the connection, they'll weed themselves out, and I've become okay with that. I just am because I this is how this is what resonates with me. This is how I like teaching. This is how I want to develop my products and so people who aren't okay with that, they'll just believe. Jillian Leslie 16:37 So let's talk about your products. You started with a budgeting spreadsheet, which surprisingly sold really well. And then you figured out Pinterest ads and started teaching people about Pinterest ads. Yes. Now you also then have other products. What are they and how did they emerge? Monica Froese 16:57 Yeah, I have a lot. So they're all digital. I'm actually in a mastermind with two girls who do physical products. And I think that's a lot of work. And I give them so many kudos because obviously we need physical products in the world, but it's a lot more work than digital products. Just there are a lot more intricacies that go into it to make sure it's profitable. So the order of things: I had the budgeting spreadsheet, then I launched the course, which was to help moms in similar positions to me who were in corporate and they're like, I want to have a career. But I also want more time with my kids. How do I make that happen? It's like, No, you are smart, you are smart, and you can take what you've learned in corporate and bring it over to this world. That was the next thing. From there. What ended up happening was because people were saying, How are you getting all of these leads? How are you selling these products, and I was selling them with Pinterest. So it started with a 13 video course that I made for friends because I got asked the same questions of what I did on Pinterest. I gave them I literally gave these 13 videos away just to friends and they're like, you should have people pay you for this. Like this is really good. This is better than other courses I've taken on Pinterest, and I wasn't even trying to make it a course. So then I put it up for sale and that was my original organic marketing course. How to Teach what You Already Know Monica Froese 18:23 This is how it started with me teaching organic Pinterest marketing to people who simply just in conversation, were asking me questions. And then I turned that into a course that I did an actual launch for that in like mid-2017. And that well. At the time, I was also very heavily invested and getting traffic to the mom side of my business with Pinterest using Pinterest ads, I had the budgeting spreadsheet. I have a few other templates, spreadsheets, a planner, stuff like that. And so my blogging friends who took my Pinterest organic course were then like, I want to learn how to do this next level things because it really at that time was definitely next level. I mean, I would argue it's still next level because not a lot of people actually do Pinterest ads still. But it was certainly next level at that point because all anyone talked about was organic. And nobody talked about the power of Pinterest ads. So during my third trimester, they pushed me into launching this course which I was so adamantly against. I didn't want to do it. I just wanted to have this baby. I want to go nesting. I am so thankful to my friends that pushed me to do this because clearly it was a huge gap out there was stuff that people wanted to know, but they didn't know they needed to know. It was like they didn't know they needed it until someone was there presenting it to them. It's kind of what ended up happening. When I was on maternity leave. I was getting very big influencers, like people that I had followed for years, sending me dm saying, Can I get this course? And I was sitting there saying I just had a baby I'm not working because I didn't have help or anything. At this point, so I was like, No, no, I had a baby. I don't have time for this. And my husband tapped me on the shoulder and said, maybe you should take a day and open the cart since these people are begging to give you money and let them in. And I was like, okay, so we did that. And then I came back from maternity leave. And I got really invested in making that course the best it could be, while having this calling to wanting to get back to creating other products that I could put behind funnels because as I was doing the Pinterest ads course, what was the prevailing thing that I kept running into was, when you are ready to run an ad, you need an offer that converts. Like you should not put money behind something that doesn't convert. Overwhelmingly, I was getting people joining my Pinterest ads course that didn't have a converting offer. And that could be converting someone onto your email list, converting someone into a sale. They didn't have an offer. How to Create Sales Funnels that Convert So then they would run an ad, and they'd come to me with data even though I said this is in the course. I don't think it necessarily resonated. They just wanted to get to the running ad part. So they'd run the ad and they come to me with data and they'd say, this didn't work. And I'd say, What is it? What is your objective? And overwhelmingly they'd say, to get traffic? Well, why then my question be like, Why? What is it for? Well, I don't know. Just I have ads on? Jillian Leslie 21:22 And by the way, we talked about this all the time to run an ad to for traffic never make sense. It will never be itself. So if you are thinking that you're going to boost now, if, for example, you're working with a brand, and you do some sort of sponsored content, and you want to show the brand that you've got traffic to make the brand happy because they've paid you a bunch of money for this. It's worth putting some money behind that to go look at my numbers. But if you think you can monetize that traffic, just because you're with AdThrive, or you're with MediaVine, it will never, you'll always be upside down. Always, you'll always be paying more than that traffic is worth to you with ads. Monica Froese 22:11 And if you think about it, you're literally running an ad that you're paying for to send people to another ad that you'll make back end money from it. It seems it's very goofy to me. Add the MiloTree Pop-Up to Your Blog and Grow Your Followers and Subscribers on Autopilot Jillian Leslie 22:22 Given this uncertain time as online entrepreneurs, all we crave is certainty. So what if I could promise you that growing your social media followers on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, YouTube, plus your email list could happen automatically. All you need is a blog or a site you own and some visitors and I guarantee that the MiloTree pop-up app will automatically convert those visitors into followers and subscribers and you don't have to do a thing. We are no longer living in the world as it was. I think we're all realizing the importance of nurturing our online businesses. So we can have freedom to live the lives we want, but in order to get there, we have to manage our scarcest resource time. So let MiloTree do the heavy lifting for you when it comes to growing followers and email subscribers, and you spend your time creating content solutions products that serve your audience, so you can start seriously monetizing your blog. So here's my advice. stay consistent. Kill the perfectionist in you so you can get stuff out there quickly. Touch yourself with kindness, embrace the mess, and go make a couple of smart choices like using MiloTree on your blog to grow your followers and subscribers. So you don't have to worry about that. Get Your First 30 Days of MiloTree Free Sign up now for MiloTree and get your first 30 days free. There's really no risk 8,000 other bloggers just like you, are using MiloTree right now to grow their businesses. Please pause this episode and head to MiloTree.com to sign up for your free trial. With all the worry we're feeling this will give you one less thing to worry about. So what are you waiting for hit pause, head to MiloTree and sign up today. How to Start to See the Opportunities for Creating Products Monica Froese 24:07 So what ended up happening through running this course and getting very dedicated to being in it for these two years and not letting myself diverge off and create all these new products, is I started to see the gaps. And I took notes of these gaps, but I was resistant to filling them until I had that course so buttoned in, and just and the students were doing really well with it. Once I got to that point, and I would say that took just under two years. So I started the course in November of 2017. And in November of 2019 is really when we started launching, again, different products. So the first thing we did was we realized that some people have really ugly landing page and it matters for conversions, and I get super good opt-ins and tripwire conversions. And I have other different funnels that I teach, specific to Pinterest that I get really good conversion rates. And when I would be asked to review like my ad tanked, I'd go into the page that they're promoting. And I was like, you know, and it's hard to get feedback like that, but your page is ugly. You know, that's hard. That's hard feedback to give. So I thought, How can I solve that problem? I created templates in Elementor and LeadPages. I use LeadPages for all my funnels. And so that was my first. That was the first way I was going to solve the problem of people not having ugly pages. Unknown Speaker 25:39 Are you working with a designer? Are you designing them yourself? Selling High Converting Template Landing Pages Monica Froese 25:43 Funny enough, I don't feel like I am a designer at all, but yet I make pretty good landing pages. I like pretty things that convert. So first in my mind was, how do I get this to convert? Second in my mind is how do I make this look aesthetically appealing? Because and this is super important. Pinterest is a visual search engine people expect to come from Pinterest and see pretty things and I was seeing so many funnels that had ads popping up and pop-ups here and pop-ups there and it's like, guys, like a display ad should never be on a sales page Jillian Leslie 26:36 For MiloTree, we create it so that you can turn it off on certain pages and people say why would I turn it off? And I go, if you are selling something you do not want to distract from the sale even if it's my product, turn it Monica Froese 26:52 off. Yeah, exactly. And that's the stuff that Oh, I just feel like there was a big gap of understanding. Finding that and so when so we started with the templates and those went super well. Monica Froese 27:09 I created them on LeadPages. And we duplicated them on Elementor. So we have two solutions. Here's the difference between my templates and what you see on the market for other people's templates. A lot of templates sellers are giving you templates in different color palettes, right. Mine are designed with the conversion mechanism in mind and you have to plug in your branding to it. So it's like branding agnostic. I'm not giving you different color palettes or anything like that. I'm giving you a page that I know convert. You plug your messaging and your brand into it, which is, I found very different than pretty much anything out there that I've seen at this point. And it's very specific because I've spent years testing, where different buttons should go and different headlines. And so it's basically like, the best information I can give you for what has worked on Pinterest. Not just with me, though, with hundreds of my students, because as I've cultivated this promoted pins group, I help them to change their pages. So over time, you just get really good when you see the back end of hundreds, I mean, really thousands of campaigns, you just get good at knowing what works and what doesn't. If You Get People to Trust You, They Will Buy More From You So that's when that came out. But there was still a gap I had in the Pinterest suite of things. So I had the organic Pinterest marketing course which we were keeping updated, but it wasn't necessarily my passion. It was kind of like the on-ramp into getting to know how I teach. And I do think when you stick with the same teacher makes things more seamless. So by the time we get to my promoted pins course, it's like you already understand my logic of Pinterest. So I had an organic, I have an organic Pinterest course, then I did an affiliate marketing course, on Pinterest because not everyone is ready to move right to products. So affiliate marketing is a nice gap that can be filled on Pinterest. Then it went right to paid ads. What I realized was I had a gap between the affiliate marketing and the paid ads, which was I needed to teach people how to create Pinterest-friendly sales funnels. And so actually, as we speak, I am in the very last module right now I'm launching it. I have 125 people in the beta round and I would say probably 85% of them are promotion students so they're my students that know they trust me. They know I delivered in that course, and I'm telling them hey, this course is going to make your funnels just amazing so that when you go back to ads, they will convert like gangbusters. And they're like, yeah, we trust you. We know you you know what you're talking about. That launch I did on Black Friday went nuts. It was like, incredible. The power what I learned from that because all these are learning lessons like, every time I've launched the Promoted pins course, I've learned so many different things like from flash sales, to life challenges, to how long you should have between launches. When I launched them Black Friday, this new sales funnels course to my current students that taught me the power of cultivating your students and pouring into them, they will buy almost everything else you offer, because they trust you. And I'm like, Whoa, light bulb, like I mean, that's logic, right. It's actually very logical. But it was such a lightbulb moment for me to realize that people that everything I did over those two years, really meant something. So that's what we're doing now is teaching people and when this is over, it's kind of like the last installment of my Pinterest, then I have like really a whole framework in place. So there are a few things you have to decide one we want to move the Pinterest courses to MonicaFroese.com. So that Redefining Mom can go back to being for moms. I really feel passionate. The Importance of Integrity as An Online Entrepreneur Like my employee right now, Haley, she's pregnant. And it really reignited my passion for maternity leave. Because under the law in the US, I'm not required to pay her or give her a maternity leave. But I'm going to because I believe that I need to set an example if I'm going to sit here and preach about that stuff, which I did when I started Redefining Mom, that I need to live up to that. And it really reignited my passion to want to help moms. So my goal now is to get the Pinterest stuff buttoned up running. However, we ended up combining it maybe it's gonna be one framework we don't know yet. Like that's our questions there. And then that's going to be moved over into its own thing and then I want to dive back into creating more funnels in more products for the mom side of the house. Jillian Leslie 32:03 I love that. And just to go back for a second to filling in gaps, I noticed because I'm on your email list that you are always coming out with templates for pins and selling them or offering some I think for free. I don't know how you do it, but what I love about what you're saying, Have I noticed a gap? I fill it. Monica Froese 32:28 When I got started, there were a lot of like marketing people, gurus, experts that would say stuff like that, like listen to what your audience is telling you, and then create the product that they want. And for some reason that never clicked for me. I'm like I don't under I didn't. It didn't resonate until I was in the weeds. And this is part of the reason why I don't want people to get stuck. I see so many people getting stuck in the questions that they should not be getting stuck in because you don't know until you try. You have to start putting stuff out there so you understand what people want from you. And then you move forward. Like if I had never done the promoted pins course, I never would have realized how important teaching the sales funnel piece was. You know, it just all I needed all of that, Jillian Leslie 33:15 I would say, and you can tell me what you think the more you are willing to roll up your sleeves and get in the muck with your customers, the more success you'll have because it's in the muck. It's in the confusions. You can't be kind of above it all thinking you're gonna sell stuff to people. You need to get down and dirty. Like it's, you know, I always talk about this, get on the phone. Monica Froese 33:45 Oh, yeah. Jillian Leslie 33:46 Do things that do not scale. You know, you think you're going to set up all these automations are all going to be working in the background and the money's just going to come? And it's like, you take that person who's asking you questions and you say hey, can we do like a 10-minute phone call. And of course, you can't do that 100 times, but you could do it three times, you could do it five times. We've been successful in businesses where we understand where people are struggling, like from a visceral place, not from an intellectual place. Monica Froese 34:21 So one of the things that I like to tell people, because everyone always wants to look at where I am now, and they forget all the things I had to do to get here. I used to do 15 minute calls. All the time, I had a free Facebook group that I had regular teaching lives in that I never missed for like a year and a half, like so I had, I ended up having to close the group when the baby was born just because I could not keep I couldn't keep up with it. And I didn't have an employee at that point either. But the point is, like I showed up for free for a very, very long time to understand what people want it. It wasn't just a matter of I put up a funnel and it did well. I'm not gonna lie, I can put up a funnel now, and I can get it to do well without ever getting on the phone with someone. But I've learned so much over the four years. It's all of that experience that has gotten me to the point that I can do that now. Jillian Leslie 35:22 Absolutely, absolutely. So do it's messy. Like, those are always those are always my thing. Like, don't think it's neat. Don't think it's like you just kind of follow what you know, you pay thousands of dollars for a course and boom, all of a sudden you're gonna have business and it's all gonna work out. Ah, it's like nights of anxiety where you don't understand why this should work and it's not working and it's tweaking and it's making it ugly before it looks pretty and it's, it's getting down in the weeds. So if you're willing to like, get in the muck, that's how you grow business. It doesn't look you know you see people Like Goop with Gweneth Paltrow and it just looks so effortless. And so even though you look at it and go I want that. Like No, no, it's you in your pajamas. It's you. You know with a crying baby on your hip. It's you going Why isn't this working? It's you investing in Pinterest ads and sometimes losing money because you're trying to learn, right? So if you think it's glamorous or anything, trust me, it's totally not. But I think it's totally worth it. But know that your mess is not unique. It's the way through to ultimately find little nuggets of success. Why You Need to Treat Your Online Business Like a Full-Time Job Monica Froese 36:48 I absolutely agree with all that. I show up every day I treat this like a full time job. I get up every morning as if I'm going to work. I take my shower, I get changed. I make my coffee, I sit down, and I work for eight hours. It's not, I don't, I don't work in the margins. I personally don't feel like I'm wired to work in the margins. And I have seen women that do work in the margins. And they have made some really amazing things doing that. I would, I would argue that the majority of people who are going to be successful are going to need to treat it as if it's a full-time job and treat it like you would get up for a job. There are plenty of days like this morning, I got a migraine. And it would have been much easier for me to close my computer and not be on this podcast and not finish the Facebook ads. I'm going to finish when I get off this podcast and not finish the module. But I'm not going to because that's not what gets me to the next step. It's all building blocks. I say that all the time. Like my sister right now is trying to start a blog because she's at home with her kids. She's a health care worker, but she's, uh, she goes to people's houses. And so that's pretty much like not happening right now in the current environment. Um, so she's home. And she's thinking like 15 steps ahead, and I keep reminding her that like you have 15 building blocks you're missing here. You got to go back to the beginning. Everyone started from nothing, you got to go back there. You can't be where I am now, because I had four years to get here. Jillian Leslie 38:27 Absolutely. People ask me all the time. They want a magic bullet. They want something and they say, how did you grow Catch My Party to millions of pages a month? And I go, it's a long slog. That is the answer. And they don't like that. Because if I believe me, if there were a magic bullet, I'd be using it. And I'd be selling it for like millions of dollars. But the truth is, you make mistakes, you make a couple smart decisions along the way. You add some keywords in there, you know, work with your audience, you definitely are making decisions and you hope that those are the right decisions, or if they're not that you're able to pivot those decisions. But for me, I would argue it's all about showing up. Just what you're saying. Monica Froese 39:16 Yeah. And I went through a period in late 2018, where I was, I was in a pretty bad burnout stage. And I stopped emailing as much as I used to, and there's a direct correlation with communicating with your audience to sales, really, I mean, it's all about consistency and showing up and being a real person. Unknown Speaker 39:45 I feel like we're gonna have to do a part two, where you come back and talk more about this, like the nitty gritty, Monica Froese 39:51 I took notes before we got in. Okay, I know I know. At some point in my notes, I said, connection and more connection, especially when you're first getting started, tell us and then like how I have my free group and I went live every single day. And in my paid course I show up every single day, they didn't just pay me money, and then I disappear. Reputation is everything. And I've said this so many times, and I firmly believe that I will make money slower. If it means keeping my integrity and my ethics in place, and I love that. There are people that make money online that are not ethical and they don't keep their integrity in place. And I don't want to be that person. Jillian Leslie 40:44 And I feel if you want to be in it for the long term. That is the answer because people can ultimately I believe that it gets discovered. You know, like you can't, I don't believe that if you work in the internet, you have to weirdly believe in karma. Because eventually it comes back to you. So the more good you put out there, the more good you ultimately get back. Now, it might not be in the way you think it's going to be. And this is again, that idea of, you have to hold things, ideas lightly, because you don't know what it's going to look like you have an idea of what it's going to look like, like, I'm providing all this value, why isn't the money coming? Well, maybe something else is coming. You know, maybe, who knows, maybe you're attracting a person to you that you can ultimately work with. And that's gonna lead to something like it's not necessarily going to look the way you think it's going to look. But if you put enough good stuff out there, over time, you weirdly, I think, attract a lot of good stuff back. And the reverse is true, which is if you cut corners, if you don't walk your talk, if you don't deliver, you could probably survive for a year or so but eventually it will show. Yes, You Want to Make Money Online Monica Froese 42:02 So the thing is, I, okay, I find nothing wrong with being in business to make money. Like that's what we have to feed our families. Like I show up every day, I should get paid for my hard work. There's nothing wrong with running a business that's profitable, and making money at all. There's nothing wrong with it. I think the disconnect is when you don't, when a business owner doesn't understand the bigger impact that they're trying to make in the world, and it's just all about the money. If it's only about the money. It is very hard to wake up every day, stay motivated and keep doing it. Because absolutely, just money is great, but I'm going to tell you I firmly believe now and the thing, more money, more problems. That is a true statement in my opinion. It's not all rainbows and roses all the time. It's a lot of hard work and so if you lose sight of why you're doing it to begin with, and that's why, like when my employee got pregnant, and they put me in this position where I could walk the talk, which meant when I started Redefining Mom, my rant was about maternity leave in the US. I actually got to talk to President Obama about this to his face. And I will never forget when he said to me, he's like, so what are you going to do about it? That was what ignited me to start this, like to make this a business that served moms, not just about money, but it was about making a greater impact. So when she got pregnant, I actually can hear him saying I can see and hear him saying this to me. What are you going to do about it? Well, you know what, I am going to offer her a paid maternity leave because she deserves that. I ranted about that and I am not going to contribute to that problem. Jillian Leslie 43:50 And I would say by you doing that, which is it's a sacrifice to you, you're not going to have an employee, and money's going out out the door. However, She will love you and be so dedicated to you and go the extra mile because you saw her and you were there for her. Again, not a bad situation, but you know what I mean? Like, again, you do not know that you will, chances are get that back tenfold. Unknown Speaker 44:25 Oh, absolutely. Jillian Leslie 44:26 But it's about the faith of that. It's about putting out your best highest self and it gets rewarded. So I again, I don't mean to sound all woowoo about this, but think about how you show up and where your values are because I believe people can sniff it out. Monica Froese 44:45 They can. Okay, so this actually goes to like the topic of the tripwires because a lot of my students and a lot of people I teach, are afraid to sell. They are so afraid to sell and and I always ask them, Do you not believe in what you're selling because if you believe in what you're selling, you wouldn't be afraid to sell like I got to a point in this, I think was the last launch I did for the promoted pins course, I had someone emailed me and was not very kind about. They thought that I was charging too much. And all these course creators think they can charge all this money and they all suck and they don't provide. I wrote her back a very factual answer, which is that there are some crappy courses out there. I've taken them I've invested in them, and I understand where you're coming from, but mine's not crap. And I show up every single day, and it is worth what I'm charging you and I'm I stand behind it. I don't feel bad about charging it because I know I provide that plus more value. And so when people feel like they can't sell that, the question I always have is, do you not believe that what you're selling can actually help the person you're selling it to? Because if you believe it, there's no issue with selling because it's your expertise, you're giving them the shortcut, you know, selling is a good thing. Also selling is what keeps our economy going. People Value What They Pay For Jillian Leslie 46:08 Absolutely. And wait and I will say this. There's this weird reverse thing, which is, when I get something for free, I tend not to value it as much. But if I put money behind it, you better believe I'm going to show up, I'm more likely to show up. If I paid a couple of hundred bucks, let's say for something versus it's the exact same product, but now you're giving it to me for free. So if you want a more dedicated say, student, my hunch is those students that have made the decision to actually open up their wallets and pay you will be better students, which will make a better course which will make a better you know, the whole environment is better. So free is not always better. In fact, I would argue if you're if you are providing value, you charge for it because you want to attract the kind of customer who's willing to pay for it Monica Froese 47:04 Exactly. And so that when you offer something for free to get a conversion to get people on your list, you give them a taste of who you are and what you know and what you can offer them. But it doesn't give away the kitchen sink as they say. Pinterest is a visual search engine. So people come to Pinterest with a problem. They search it, they visually are looking to see their solutions. That's what they arrive on with search results. It's a visual solution that they're looking at. So I come they like to say like meal planning for a week. When I get there. I want to see a visual representations of what meal planning solutions, that's what I'm looking for. So when I click to the meal planning solution, let's say it's an opt-in, that opt-in is to solve, it's meant to solve a quick win. Your Opt-In Should Be a Quick Win It's to give them that immediate gratification that you can help them over that hump. And then your paid product is like, and it can go. There's two different ways, i Pinterest that often can be a layer of your solution, like the first prong of your solution. And the paid is the rest. It's how they take that first prong and make it an actual system. Or your opt-in can be the "what" and the "why,"like, this is why you need this. This is how it will help you and then your paid product is the how. So there's two different ways that you can look at it. I would say I lean more towards the "what" and the "why" and the paid product is the "how." Jillian Leslie 48:46 So I like that. Oh, I like that. Okay, so Monica. I feel like we could talk forever and I know that you have a hard stop. Will you come back? Can we put this in our calendars. We can talk about the tactics, I feel you and I, we are so like-minded. I'm so happy to know you as my online friend on the east coast. Because I feel like my audience loves the tactics, you know what not to do what to do that kind of thing. Monica Froese 49:19 So interesting that you say that because my course on sales funnels is broken down. Strategy is the first three modules. And the last three are tactics. And I say in the course, you cannot have the tactics without the strategy and everyone wants to go to the tactics always and not have the strategy and that's when you fail. And I seriously take my students kicking and screaming sometimes through the strategy, like they just want to tell me where to put this and tell me where to put that and No, I will not. I refuse because if you don't understand the strategy if you don't understand the problem you're solving if you don't get all of that and how it fits into the bigger picture. But you can have all the tactics in the world and it will not help you make sales. Jillian Leslie 50:05 Absolutely, absolutely. Okay Monica. I just I love talking to you so, so let's we're literally going to hang up this call and schedule part two. And I just love that you come on on the show and you share so much. Monica Froese 50:22 Well, I'm really glad that you have me. People listen, I love doing this. Jillian Leslie 50:28 Alright, so Okay, so until part two. Key Takeaways My big takeaway from this episode is how putting in some thought about your solution, how to attract your audience, how to provide them with a quick win and then ultimately sell them on the solution, I think is really powerful, I think to step back in your own business and think about putting these pieces together, lining them up. So they all make sense is what I recommend. Did it take some thought it really does. If you want to talk product with me, please reach out at Jillian@milotree.com. And I'd love to hear what you're thinking and give you some feedback. Also, I want to say do check out the military membership. So it's Milo tree.com/membership, if you are looking for tech support, ongoing tech support, so we've got your back. So when you want to make a change to your blog, we can do that for you. Also, it provides you with workshops, ongoing workshops of what is what are cutting edge strategies that we want to share with you both strategies that are working in our business, but also strategies that we are seeing work in people's businesses and also community because being an online entrepreneur can sometimes feel lonely. It can feel like you are yelling into the abyss and you're not sure anybody is listening. Well, I'm listening and this community is listening. So, if you if any of those things are interesting to you, and you can roll them all into one, please head to milotree.com/membership. And again, there are no contracts or anything so there's really no risk and I will see you here again next week. Imagine a world where growing your social media followers and email list was easy… It can be with MiloTree! Try the MiloTree pop-up app on your blog for 30 days risk-free! Let your MiloTree pop-ups help you get to that next level by turning your visitors into email subscribers and social media followers on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook, and YouTube. Sign up today! Install your MiloTree pop-ups on your site in under two minutes. Sign up for MiloTree now and get your first 30 DAYS FREE!

How Love Covers A Multitude Of Sins

Marriage After God

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 17, 2020 47:54

This devotional episode is based on 1 Peter 4:7-11. We wanted to share how Love covers a multitude of sins and why it is so important that we love with this level of eagerness.1 Peter 4:7-11 The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. 8 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.PrayerDear Lord,We lift up our hearts to you right now and ask that you would make us a people who love others earnestly. Holy Spirit direct our hearts and remind us of your word. We pray we would above all things love others. We pray we would love our spouse, our children, our friends, and those who are in our life. May your love pour out of us. May your love pouring out of us transform our marriages. We pray others would be impacted by the love we share. We pray we would be able to love so deeply that it covers a multitude of sin. We pray that instead of shame or guilt, people would feel undoubtedly loved by us and by you. We pray for your word to be fulfilled through our choices to walk in love and that your will would be done.In Jesus’ name, amen! READ TRANSCRIPT- [Aaron] Hey, we're Aaron and Jennifer Smith, with "Marriage After God." - [Jennifer] Helping you cultivate an extraordinary marriage. - [Aaron] And today we're gonna talk about how love covers a multitude of sin. Welcome to the "Marriage After God" podcast where we believe that marriage was meant for more than just happily ever after. - [Jennifer] I'm Jennifer, also known as Unveiled Wife. - [Aaron] And I'm Aaron, also known as Husband Revolution. - [Jennifer] We have been married over a decade. - [Aaron] And so far, we have four young children. - [Jennifer] We have been doing marriage ministry online for over seven years through blogging and social media. - [Aaron] With a desire to inspire couples to keep God at the center of their marriage, encouraging them to walk in faith every day. - [Jennifer] We believe that Christian marriage should be an extraordinary one, full of life, - Love, - And power, - [Aaron] That can only be found by chasing after God, - [Jennifer] Together. - [Aaron] Thank you for joining us on this journey as we chase boldly after God's will for our life together. - [Jennifer] This is "Marriage After God." Okay Aaron, so we, we survived kind of a hard week. - [Aaron] We did survive. - I mean, - We're barely coming on - Our kids survived. - The other side of it, yes. - [Jennifer] But we're not the only ones going through this, so we thought we would just give you guys a little update of our family and hopefully encourage some of you out there who it might be hitting as well. - [Aaron] Yeah, our whole family got the flu. It was bad, but not bad. It was kind of a weird thing. - [Jennifer] Well, I'll say this, the Lord spared me and gave me the grace to be able to help everyone. 'Cause I felt-- - And you didn't even really get sick, you got some of the, like you felt sick. - Yeah you know the gut pain? - [Aaron] But you didn't have any other symptoms, which was awesome. - And the rosy cheeks. I felt like every once in a while, like I really don't feel good right now, I need to go lay down, but for the most part, I was able to be there to help everyone. Which made me really nervous, because people were, you and the kids were throwing up and I just thought, me, at this stage of the game in pregnancy, throwing up would not go over well with my body. - No and so-- - That woulda been terrible. - [Aaron] We're definitely thanking God, which we did a lot of, oddly. But not to be too graphic, but I'm pretty sure I put a rib out from how hard I was throwing up. - [Jennifer] That sucks. - [Aaron] Yeah, it still is really sore. But, what's awesome is, a couple of things, I just wanna praise you Jennifer, because I feel like you handled everyone being sick, and the inconvenience of it so well. I think I even told you, I was like, "I can tell you're walking in the spirit." Like your attitude was good, how much cleaning had to be done. - [Jennifer] It was a lot of work. - [Aaron] It's no fun when literally all the boys are throwing up and it's like, there's no clean blankets. - [Jennifer] It's all at the same time. - [Aaron] Yeah, so we, but we survived, we're coming on the other side of that. But one thing we practiced, I don't think we've ever done it before, not that we're not thankful to God. - [Jennifer] Not in this kind of circumstance, it's not at the forefront of our minds. - [Aaron] I did a post a couple weeks ago encouraging men to thank God for everything, if they get cut off in traffic, if something bad happens, even-- - [Jennifer] You didn't say if your whole family comes down with sickness, did you? - [Aaron] I know, if something good happens, I just said, say, whatever it is that happens today, thank God for it. And I tried practicing that. And so I'm literally in the fetal position in the bathtub, and I'm trying to thank God. I'm like, "Okay God, thank you. "Thank you for being sick." And I was like, why am I thanking God for this? Well, thank you for reminding me that I'm human. Like I'm fragile. Thank you for reminding me that one day I'm not gonna have this sickness. - [Jennifer] Or that we need to pray. - [Aaron] Yeah thank you for reminding, - Ask him. - Humbling me, showing me that my weakness. So there was a lot of things to thank God for for being sick, and I directly thanked God for being sick. And then we of course have thanked God for healing us and sparing our family from being even worse, 'cause it probably could have been worse. - [Jennifer] Something that really stood out to me is I didn't know you had this perspective kind of going into everyone being sick, and I wouldn't say I was there with you in those beginning moments, but you brought the family to the living room, and you said, "You know what, we're gonna pray, "and we're just gonna thank God today." And I think even one of the kids asked, "Why are we thanking God?" - [Aaron] Doesn't make any sense. - [Jennifer] But I was questioning it in my own heart too, like, okay, where's this going? But it was so beautiful to hear your prayer and you starting out saying, "God, thank you for this sickness." And it was humbling for me and for my heart to go, "oh yeah" you know? And to have that perspective before him. And then, I gotta share this other experience is just a friend of mine who, their family also got it really bad. - [Aaron] Pretty much our whole church got sick. - [Jennifer] But I met up with her for coffee when it was all past and she goes, "You know I just found, we found our whole family "just worshiping God through it." And it was so cool, kinda the same thing. And I said, "I didn't really worship him through it, "but at the end of all the laundry being done, "all the bathrooms being cleaned, "and having taken a shower, I came out singing "'Victory in Jesus' so, that was awesome." - [Aaron] But it is worship. Thanking God is worship. So whatever he gives, I think Job says it, "Should we not thank God for the good and the evil?" Like the bad things that happen? We thank God for those too, because he's God and he deserves our thanksgiving. And at the end of the day, salvation is so much greater than anything that we can go through. So, at minimum you can be like, "God, thank you so much "that one day I'm gonna be with you." That is so good. - [Jennifer] So if your family happens to get hit by whatever bug this is, - [Aaron] It's going around, yeah. - [Jennifer] Whatever's going around, we just wanted to encourage you guys to move forward with a thankful heart and to trust God and to be prayerful. And also just to be patient, because we know it's an inconvenience, we know it's hard, it takes away from your work schedule, it takes away from things on your to-do list that maybe you were hoping to do or whatever it is. We know it's hard, but if God's allowing it to happen, we can trust him and walk through it with him. - [Aaron] Yeah, so that was just a little update on our flu campaign. But we wanna encourage you. We have a new challenge. We've been doing a lot of these lately, a lot of new downloads and challenges and free things that you guys can get from us. And our new one's called the parentingprayerchallenge.com. We launched it last week and this week you get to do it. We're still encouraging parents to sign up to pray for either their daughter or their son or both. So if you haven't signed up for the Parenting Prayer Challenge, it's completely free. We're gonna send you 31 prompts every day, encouraging you to pray for different things for your child. - Over 31 days. - Over 31 days. - [Jennifer] Not 31 emails in one day. - [Aaron] Yeah, that's happened one time. Yeah, one a day, and the whole idea is that at the end of the 31 days you've built a habit of praying for your children. I'm sure all you parents love to pray for your children, but we just wanted to give this resource to encourage you to pray more, to pray deeper, to pray more consistently and give you ideas on what other things to pray for for your kids. - [Jennifer] Yeah, and I'll add this, it goes hand in hand with our books, "31 prayers for your son and for your daughter." And if you have those books, oh this'll be an incredible reminder. It's kinda like an alarm, right? Because your email comes through and then you're like, "Oh yeah." So you can get the book and go along with it that way too. - [Aaron] Mm-hmm, so parentingprayerchallenge.com, all one word, spelled the way you would think it's spelled. And sign up for free today. All right guys, we've been doing this new thing, we've mentioned it a few times this season. We're trying to do a marriage episode, we're doing a devotional style episode, a Q&A, we're trying to give a little bit more diversity on the kinds of things we're bringing up and this episode's gonna be a devotional style. We're gonna talk about some scripture. And something that we've been learning, something that I taught on at church. And so we hope it encourages you and why don't you, Jennifer start off by reading-- - [Jennifer] Oh, I was gonna sit back and let you teach for 30 minutes, yeah. - [Aaron] Oh, I'll just do it? No. - Go for it. - [Aaron] Why don't you read the scripture that we're gonna be talking about, - Okay. - And then we'll go into it. - [Jennifer] So it's 1 Peter 4:7-11 and it says this, "The end of all things is at hand, "therefore be self controlled "and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly "since love covers a multitude of sins." - [Aaron] This is a great scripture in 1 Peter and we're excited to talk about it and what it means for us as believers, not only in our marriages, but just in life in general and walking in the body of Christ. And the power that is in our love for one another. And what that means and looks like. So we're gonna dig into this, these few scriptures, and kinda break it down and talk about some stuff and Jennifer you might have some questions. But we're just gonna break it down and see how this applies to us in our life. So the first thing I wanna point out is where our perspective should be. And Jennifer you read it, the very first thing it says in verse seven is "The end of all things is at hand." - [Jennifer] I feel like there should be an exclamation mark. - [Aaron] And it's almost is, it's a semicolon which says everything I'm about to say is attached to this statement. The end of all things is at hand, and so, we can easily, quickly think this is talking about Jesus coming back, or the end of days, right? But in the New Testament when it talks about the end of days or all things at hand or the end of the generation, it's mostly talking about all of the things that needed to take place, they needed to occur for the salvation story, for redemption, God's plan for redemption that he's been planning and preparing since Adam and Eve in the garden. And so, when Peter says the end of all things is at hand, he's saying that essentially, Christ has been born, he's died, and he's resurrected. - [Jennifer] Like we have what we need. - [Aaron] The thing that God has planned to take place has taken place. - Yeah. - [Aaron] Which means a lot. It means that we can now draw near to God. It means that we now can have salvation and a right relationship with God. Because without the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ and his ascension and him sending the holy spirit there is no, like we can't be made right with God. So all of those things, the end of all things is at hand. The end of everything that God planned for salvation has been done, as Jesus says on the cross, it is finished. So it didn't necessarily mean that hey, the end of the world is tomorrow. But it's also an allusion, it alludes to Christ returning. Because now that the church age has begun, the spirit is living in man, we're made right with God, the bride of Christ is growing, we have an expectation of Christ's return. So we're in this imminent return zone. Like at any moment Christ can come back. - [Jennifer] And we are, we're called to walk a certain way. - [Aaron] Yeah. And so that's kinda, he starts off these statements with here's how you should be thinking. Realize first and foremost you have everything you need because Christ died and resurrected. He's given you his spirit, so now you can walk in his spirit and not the flesh. Like the things that we need to accomplish what he's about to tell us have already happened and are already available to us and been given to us. So that's our perspective in our relationships with our spouse, our children, our church body. That the end of all things is at hand. Like first and foremost, I have everything I need in Christ Jesus, to walk this way that we're about to talk about. And I walk this way because I look forward to Christ coming back, and I wanna not be ashamed at his return, I wanna stand boldly at his return. I wanna be excited for his return. - [Jennifer] It gives those relationships a lot of depth and purpose, how we interact with each other and how we're supposed to be in those relationships with each other. - [Aaron] Right and so, if you think about your marriage. You say, "Well, I just can't because my husband "is this, this, this." - [Jennifer] Or together you're just facing a really hard circumstance. - [Aaron] Yeah, like we went through stuff. And it's like, oh, our love for each other is stifled because of this hard circumstance or these character traits in the other person. But if our mindsets are on wow, first of all I can, because Christ did, and I should, because Christ is coming. My perspective and the way I treated you and the way we treat others would totally be transformed because we're no longer thinking of this immediate, well how did you treat me and how am I gonna treat you? - [Jennifer] Well, it's not about us. - Exactly. - Right? - [Aaron] Which is a powerful thing. And this is being taught to the believer, but the ramifications for this is in every aspect of your life. Most directly in your marriage and then also most directly in all of your relationships with other believers in the church. We need to have this perspective. - [Jennifer] Okay, so, then moving on in that verse, the next word is therefore. - [Aaron] Yeah and-- - [Jennifer] So the end of all things is at hand, - [Both] Therefore. - [Aaron] Yeah, and someone always says, "What's therefore there for?" I mean you ask yourself, "Well, why is that there?" And it's attached to the last statement. So, since the end of all things is at hand, be this way. And what does it say right there, Jennifer? - [Jennifer] Be self controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. - [Aaron] So, in relation to our relationships and in our life and in the way we interact in this world, self-controlled, how often do we say the word self-controlled in our house? - [Jennifer] Well, we're in the beginning stages of training our kids, so I feel like we say it all the time, multiple times a day. - [Aaron] 150,000 times a day. Are you being self-controlled? - Remember, self-control. - [Aaron] Be self-controlled, you're not being self-controlled. You must have self-control. Like over and over and over again. 'Cause that's, I mean our kids are learning to have control over themselves, that's the point. But self-controlled meaning, in my life, am I in control or is my flesh in control? 'Cause when my flesh is in control, we are not self-controlled. We're gonna eat as much as-- - We just give way - We want. - To whatever we want, yeah. - [Aaron] When I'm angry, I'm just gonna say what I wanna say. Oh, well, I was angry, that's why I said that. Well, that's not self-controlled. That's just blurting out what's coming to your mind because you're angry, rather than considering the other person. - [Jennifer] Which the mind is the next thing it says. - [Aaron] Yeah, sober-minded, which yes, this is talking about sobriety, not on drugs, not drunk with alcohol, but sober-minded is much more than just, we talked about this in another episode. I can't remember the name of the other episode, but it's having a right way of thinking. A clear way of thinking. So if you think about, we just talked about anger. You know Jennifer, you do something that really frustrates me and then I get so angry I just start saying whatever I want, like I'm not being sober-minded. I'm letting my wrath and my anger control my words and my actions, rather than my mind. - [Jennifer] It's like being self-controlled of your mind specifically. - Right. - [Jennifer] Like being able to have those thought processes and walk yourself through it mentally. - [Aaron] Another example of being sober-minded is fear. So, there's nothing wrong with natural fear, like you know fire's gonna burn you, so you don't touch it, but we're talking about like there's something going on in the world and it's causing us to have this anxiety and fear which causes us to make decisions and not seek out wisdom and oh, we're gonna go do this thing because XYZ over here, I don't know how that's gonna turn out, therefore we're gonna. And so that's not sober-minded either. Instead of thinking through what is reality, thinking through what is the repercussions if XYZ happens or if we don't have what we need or if, like thinking sober-minded is rather than operating in the fear and just making decisions off that, you're operating in knowledge and wisdom and you seek counsel and you're slow to act, slow to speak. So that's the idea of sober-minded. So since we know that the end of all things is at hand, meaning we have everything we need in Christ, meaning all of the things that God planned for redemption has happened, you have the holy spirit, be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. - [Jennifer] So real quick, I just have to, just hearing you repeat that, it says, "Be self-controlled and sober-minded "for the sake of your prayers," that means you're praying. So it's almost like it's saying be self-controlled and sober-minded and prayerful. Like be a person of prayer. - [Aaron] Right, and we just talked about being sick. If our minds were in this position of thankfulness and we were just wallowing in the suffering, 'cause throwing up's not fun, not feeling good is not fun, and we could just sit there and be like woe is us. And we're not even being sober-minded in that. But instead we're like, "Thank you Lord." It actually helped us elevate above our current circumstances to be able to see it from a heavenly position. Like, okay, well, just because this thing is happening, doesn't mean I stop being a Christian. Doesn't mean I can now act XYZ, be this way, say these things. No, I actually even in this, can walk this out. Because we know all things have been fulfilled in Christ, and his return is imminent, even in my sickness I get to say, "Well if Christ was to come right now, "I wanna be like him, wanna look like him." This is how we must live as people who claim the name of Jesus. We can't claim the name, but not walk it out. - [Jennifer] Mm-hmm, okay so before you move on, I feel like maybe some of our listeners would have the same question, and that is, it says "for the sake of your prayers" so does that mean your prayers are in trouble if you're not being self-controlled or you're not being sober-minded? What does that mean? - [Aaron] Yeah, I mean, in 1 Peter I think we get another picture of that when it talks about husbands walking with their wives in an understanding way, it says for the sake of your prayers. So, there is a way that the believer can walk that would hinder our prayers. And it could be put this way, someone told me once, "God's not gonna tell you "to do a new thing until you've done the old thing." Like the thing he's asked you to do already. And so it's almost like this, we're looking for a new word from the Lord, we're looking for guidance and wisdom. And he's like, well, but you're not even loving your wife right now. - Mm-hmm, I have a really good example of this when it comes to kids. Olive, just I think it was yesterday, she came up to me and she was like, "Mom, I don't have anything to do." And so I gave her something to do, it was a small task. And she turned around really quickly and said, "I don't wanna do that." - [Aaron] What else can I do? - [Jennifer] What else can I do? And I looked at her, I said, "Sweetheart, "can you go do what Mommy asked you to do?" - [Aaron] Right. Yeah, and there's even a scripture that says, "Go back and do the first things "that you've been told to do." Like you've left your first love, we learned in Revelations. There's this idea of like, God's already given us some commands, given us some things to do as believers. In his power, to do it, and we wanna skip over those things and we're gonna talk about this. We wanna skip over those things to get to the other things. We're like, "Well, I don't wanna do that thing." Loving that person's difficult. Or, praying for that person, ehh, let's pray for this big thing over here. - [Jennifer] Or how about, "I'll be self-controlled, "but I don't care about being sober-minded." - Exactly yeah. - You know what I mean? - [Aaron] Which doesn't make any sense because, - [Jennifer] I know. - [Aaron] If you're not sober, like let's talk about being drunk, you're not in self-control either. Those things go hand in hand. So yes, the Bible teaches that our prayers can be hindered. I don't know exactly what that means, does that mean that God doesn't hear 'em at all? Or is it that I am hindered? Like I'm not gonna want to pray more. I don't have a desire to, I'm frustrated. No, Lord, I don't want to. It's like when our, like you said our kids, when they have an attitude, Wyatt crosses his arms, puts his head down, it's like he doesn't wanna look at us. - [Jennifer] Or like that example you gave of us being sick, if we weren't sober-minded and self-controlled, we wouldn't have prayed in thankfulness, so yeah, hindered in a way that if we're not walking that way and we're not being that way then we won't be praying at all. - Yeah so, - We won't be a people of prayer. - Regardless of how it plays out, I don't want either of those things. I wanna be able to come to God boldly and I also want God to receive me and hear my prayers. The Bible tells us that the prayers of a righteous man availeth much, it's in James. And I want my prayers heard. I want them to avail much. And when I pray for my family, when I pray for health, when I pray for opportunities, when I pray for other, my family members, when I pray for the lost, I want those prayers to be heard and to have power with God. So, God says, "Well be sober-minded and self-controlled "so that your prayers won't be hindered." Then I should just do that. - [Jennifer] Do it. - [Aaron] It's not easy all the time, but that's what we get to do, because the end of all things is at hand, so I should be able to do it. Okay, so let's move on to this next part of this verse. - [Jennifer] Well the next verse. - [Aaron] Yeah, the next verse, there ya go. Verse eight starts off, it says, "Above all." Okay, and I just wanted to highlight this idea, so if you're in your Bible, which that'd be awesome if you were, you should be. It says, "Above all," comma, "keep loving one another earnestly." And I just wrote down some ideas of what's the all? Like above all, above how generous you might be financially, like, "I've given so much." Above being right, like "Well I know "that this scripture means this." Above memorizing every scripture, above being debt free, above your health, above your safety, above all. Above everything that you see as good, 'cause these things are good, for the most part, don't neglect to do this thing. So, above all, do this thing, right? - [Jennifer] Do you think it's easy for us in our flesh to justify like, "Well, I don't have to love that person, "and we don't even get along, but I'm doing this "over here, so, I'm good with God because this over here." Do you hear what I'm saying? - [Aaron] Yeah, we do this all the time, and there's a scripture that I'll bring up that shows this hypocrisy. Like, "Well no, that person doesn't need to be in my life, "because of XY and Z, but, you know what? "But I read every day, I'm in the word every day." "Oh but I pray, I'll pray for that person. "I don't have to love 'em, but I'll pray for 'em." I think something that I've heard a lot, and it doesn't make any sense, but we say this, "Oh, I love him, I just don't like him." Almost as if love is this general like, yeah we're in the same city, but I'm never gonna talk to him, I'm not gonna be kind to him, I'm not gonna be cordial, I'm not gonna even, I don't wanna go out of my way for them. I'm not gonna give to them, I'm not gonna help them, I'm not gonna. So what love is that? - [Jennifer] If you're doing that, I was gonna say, what's your definition of love? - [Aaron] And that's my point is we, okay, I'll just do this. So the point of everything I said above all, or not that we shouldn't do those other things, 'cause I never want someone to be like, "Well, all we have to do is love others, "and we don't have to be generous, "and we don't have to read our word and memorize scripture." These things that are actually really good for us. "And my health and my, all these things don't matter, "as long as I just love." No. All of those things matter, but we don't neglect this one thing, and often it's the one thing we neglect. We work on all those other things, 'cause we have, those are easier, those are personal. We can control 'em. We can't control other people and that's why it's so hard. And I think of this in Matthew 23:23 Jesus says this, he says, "Woe to you scribes and pharisees, hypocrites, "for you tithe mint and dill and cumin, "and have neglected the weightier matters of the law." And then get what he says, "Justice, mercy and faithfulness. "These you ought to have done "without neglecting the others." - [Jennifer] Like do it all. - [Aaron] He's like, "Yeah, you spent time, "you outwardly show all these good things that you do, "yet you've neglected justice, like you don't care "about those in your midst who need justice "and you've been unjust." Or showing mercy and faithfulness. You haven't remained faithful to your spouses, you haven't remained faithful to your people, you haven't remained faithful to, and he's saying these things you should have done without neglecting those other things that you do. And so that was the point I was getting at is like yeah, all those other things are good, but we cannot throw out loving one another earnestly. - [Jennifer] So you used the word earnestly, why don't you define that, just for our listeners really quick? - [Aaron] Okay, 'cause it's a pretty powerful word and it's how he wants us to love each other. It's not like, "Hey, I love you, yeah I'll see you later. "Oh yeah, we're good buddies." It's something deeper than that. He says, "Love one another earnestly." And the definition of earnestly means with sincere and intense conviction. It's so powerful. It's not just a, in passing a word you just say about someone, it's a life lived out way of loving. It's a my actions and the way I think reflect the deepness of my conviction and belief about how I love you. And so a perfect example is in marriage. I love you, and it's not just a word. I show you by how I take care of you. And how I show up every day and how I sit and talk with you. And how I ask for forgiveness, and I'm patient, and all these things are the actions of my love for you. - [Jennifer] Yeah, I think that's really important to point out, because I think in marriage specifically, you can text each other back and forth, I love you, or say it at the end of a phone call, conversation. Saying it in passing or before you leave to go to work. But are your actions proving what those words actually mean? So you've convinced yourself in your mind, yeah, of course I love my husband, of course I love my wife. And I tell them every day. - [Aaron] How do they know? - [Jennifer] But, are your actions supporting your words? - [Aaron] Yeah, and so let's break down this definition a little bit, it says with a sincere and intense conviction, that's the earnestness. Sincere means free from pretense or deceit. Proceeding from genuine feelings. So I don't just say it, it's not just a word that I use so that I look good with my other Christian friends and brothers and sisters. - Or that you know you should use because you're married. - [Aaron] Yeah, like, "Oh yeah, of course I love so-and-so." But yet, you don't truly believe it in your heart. You struggle with believing, like well, do I love him? I mean, I could move on. I'm not going to, 'cause I don't wanna look bad. That's not love, it's a free from pretense or deceit. So there's nothing, you're not saying it to receive anything like, "Oh good, so good that you love that person." And you're not saying it out of, it's not a lie. When you say you love someone it's truthful. It's a genuine, genuineness, a real thing from with inside of you. And then that second part, intense conviction. And I smashed two definitions together, 'cause the word intense and conviction I put them together and it's a highly concentrated and firmly held belief in what you are doing, right? So, it's not going away. My love for my brothers and sisters in Christ, my love for others in the world, my love for my wife, it's real and it's going to drive my actions and my decisions and my attitudes and it's gonna cause me to repent and it's gonna cause me to change and grow because that conviction is solid. It's there, and when I'm challenged in that conviction, when the listener is challenged in that conviction of love, they get to ask themselves, "Well do I truly love so-and-so?" And then they get to remember, well, the end of all things is at hand, I must love so-and-so, regardless. Without pretense, it needs to be truthful and powerful. That's what that word earnestly means. - [Jennifer] I love that definition of intense conviction that you shared, and it makes me think how intentional this type of love truly is, because-- - [Aaron] That's a good word, intentional. - [Jennifer] Yeah, it's intentional because you're motivated by your, like it said, "firmly held belief in what you are doing" so everything that I do in our home, everything I do with our kids, everything I do with you, comes out and is an overflow of this belief that I have that I truly love you and that genuine feeling that you talked about earlier. And that's such a different situation when you compare it to just saying the words I love you or just going about your day without any motivations as to why you're doing those things, you know? It makes me think of the type of motivational speaking you hear when it comes to entrepreneurship, where it's like, "You gotta know your why." You gotta know your why. - Yeah, what's your why? - [Jennifer] What's your why? So it makes me go there when I think about in marriage, why are you doing all the little things that you do throughout your day? It's because you love that person. - [Aaron] Mm-hmm, and it's not superficial, and it's not just a word, but it's an actual held belief. Like "No, I love my wife. "I love John over there." Like truly love them, not just, "We're Christians "and we love each other." - Right. And if we truly consider this you guys, then when we get into a hard spot in marriage, when we get into conflict or something happens unexpectedly that you don't desire, you can continue on, because there's this hope knowing that, "Well no, I love them. "You know, I know this is hard, but God's given me "a love for them." - [Aaron] Yeah. What I think is really cool, I just thought about this, often we think about this idea of growing in love, which we do, we change and our level of love deepens. - It deepens, yeah. - [Aaron] But it's actually, the way this is stated, it's actually a starting point. We start at this basis of love for one another. Not build into it. It starts at this place and I thought that was really cool. I just was, - I like that. - [Aaron] I was just thinking it's like it's not, yeah, it does grow over time, but it's also, like you said, even in those hard times, you default to that position of love. Not default to, well we're not in love because, or we're building in love and the default position is no love. That's not actually, I mean marriage starts, usually, for the most part, with a deep conviction of love. And so the default position is love. And I didn't have the scripture originally here, but I thought about this and I think it goes perfectly well. What this level of love is supposed to look like, it's supposed to be remarkable. It's not supposed to look like the love of the world. Like the world loves itself. There's people that they love their own and they do a good job of that, but the love that Christians are supposed to have for one another is supposed to be remarkable, miraculous. And Jesus puts it this way in John 13:34. "A new commandment I give to you, "that you love one another. "Just as I have loved you, "you also are to love one another. "By this all people will know that you are my disciples "if you have love for one another." So it's not like, if we do these great things, or if we have this great band, or if we preach this great message, it says if you love one another the way I loved you, the whole world will know, oh that's a disciple of Christ. - [Jennifer] Yeah. - [Aaron] That's remarkable. So I get, the question I have in your marriage, in your relationships at church, would the world look at how you love them as remarkable? Like that's a remarkable love. How could he love like that? How could she love like that after so much has happened to her, after this or that? It's a remarkable love and it can only be done with Jesus Christ. That's what he says, "If you love as I have loved you." Which is an amazing, amazing kind of love. It's literally remarkable. And I have some notes here and this is, this is exactly why churches fall apart. This is why friendships dissolve, this is why marriages end. When we let the intensity of our conviction to love each other soften. We got to that point a few years into our marriage. Our conviction to love one another, because of the things we were going through, got weakened. - [Jennifer] I was gonna say, I don't feel like softens is just the right word because it sounds mushy-gushy, but I mean we're talking about the dissolving of that belief and conviction. - [Aaron] Yeah. And it's not that those things that were happening had some external power to weaken our love for each other superficially, - We chose that. - We let our love, yeah we chose it, that's a good word. And so, I just wanna ask you, as we get into this, have you let your love, the earnestness of your love for your spouse, for other believers, weaken? For whatever reason, because someone hurt you, because someone said something harmful about you, because someone didn't pay you back? - [Jennifer] The relationship's messy or hard or challenging and you just wanna, - Walk away. - Walk away. - It'd be easier. - Yeah. - [Aaron] There's been so many times I've thought to myself, it would just be easier to move. - [Jennifer] Well, we thought that in the beginning of our marriage when we were facing hardship and we got to the point at the end of three and a half years where we were, so incredibly close to walking away convinced in our selfish flesh that it would be better for each other if we just separated. - [Aaron] Move on. - [Jennifer] And instead, God got ahold of our hearts in a remarkable way and, I mean he brought the message to you first and then to me, but it's a choice. - [Aaron] Yeah. - [Jennifer] And are we gonna let our circumstances dictate that choice or are we gonna choose it in our hearts and move past the circumstances? Or even if we have to deal with the circumstances for the rest of our life, and that was the commitment we had to choose. There came this pivotal moment where, people who've read our books, they know what I'm talking about, but we're standing in church, Aaron, and you're sharing this heart that God has given you for our marriage to continue on regardless if anything changed. That is remarkable. And that saved us, that saved our marriage. - [Aaron] And here's the difference in the types of love. The love that the world has for itself, and the love that we are to have for our brothers and sisters and our spouse. The love that Christ gave to us was unconditional. The love that we try and walk in is often transactional. You do this, I'll do this. You give me this, I'll give you that. Oh you didn't do the thing, or you weren't the certain way? Then I'm not going to. Jesus it says, "Yet while we were still sinners died for us." So even when we were weakest, when we couldn't save ourselves, Christ died. Christ gave himself up for his bride. And this is the message that Christ gave me that day, reminding me, he's like, "Hey are you gonna love "your wife unconditionally, or transactionally? "Are you gonna love her regardless if she ever gives you "what you think you deserve, what you ought to have? "Or are you gonna love her like I did "when you could do nothing for me, "and I still died for you?" - [Jennifer] John 13 comes back to my mind like you said. Jesus says, "Love as I loved you." - [Aaron] And you know what this sincerity and intensity, this earnestness sounds very familiar to how Jesus said we would worship God. He says this to the woman at the well, in John 4:24, he says, "God is spirit "and those who worship him must worship "in spirit and truth." Spirit and truth. And this isn't talking about worshiping each other. But it's how we love each other, in spirit and in truth. - [Jennifer] It reminds me of the definition going back earlier to those genuine feelings. - [Aaron] Mm-hmm, it's not from pretense or deceit. It's no, I genuinely love you. I may not know how to do it well, but I'm going to default to love, I'm going to default to giving you the benefit of the doubt. I'm going to love you regardless if you give me what I deserve. And then in Matthew 22 verse 37-48 says this, "And he said to him, 'You shall love the lord your God "'with all your heart and with all your soul "'and with all your mind. "'This is there greatest and first commandment. "'And a second is like it, you shall love your neighbor "'as yourself, on these two commandments "'depend all the law and the prophets.'" - [Jennifer] I remember we read this verse to our kids and they got really confused, because we've taught them the 10 Commandments. - Yeah. - And they were like, "No no no, that's not the." - [Aaron] No, you have to honor your mom and dad. Like, yes. And what I explained to 'em is, and this is what Jesus says, he says, "Anyone who does these won't break any of the laws." Because when you love your neighbor, you're not gonna steal from them. When you love your neighbor, you're not gonna lie to them. When you love your neighbor, you're not gonna covet their things. You're gonna say praise God that you've given them those things, God. Praise God. They're gonna use 'em for you, I hope. We don't covet. When we love God we don't dishonor our parents. When you love your parents you're not gonna dishonor them. And so, that's the kind of love that we get to have for one another. And it's actually, it's one of the greatest commandments, to love God with all our heart, mind and soul and to love each other as ourselves. To love each other with that intensity. Okay, so we're getting up to the last part of this section of scripture and it's the most powerful one. It's actually the title of this episode. And it's the reason why Peter is commanding us to love each other in the first place. It's the reason why he's saying to do these things, it's the reason why he gave us the mindset of hey, the end of all things is at hand, be this way, love this way. So before I move on to this next portion of this scripture, I'm gonna read the whole scripture again. It's 1 Peter 4:7-11. "The end of all things is at hand, "therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded "for the sake of your prayers. "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, "since love covers a multitude of sins." Okay, so here's the-- - You slowed down there at the end Aaron, - I know it's, - [Jennifer] Is that important? - [Aaron] Well, it's the most powerful section of this scripture, I believe. And what's amazing about this is it's the opportunity that believers have to love like Christ. What did Christ's love do? - [Jennifer] Saved us. - [Aaron] It covered us. We've just been teaching the kids through Adam and Eve, the story of Adam and Eve and how they were to, God told that surely on the day that you eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, you will die. And guess what. - [Jennifer] Well the kids asked the question, - They're like, - But they didn't die! - [Aaron] Yeah, they didn't die. Here's what's amazing is something died instead. They covered themselves with fig leaves, God covered them in skins. So an animal had to die. So even then, way back in the beginning, in the very first people, God showed his redemption plan. That he was gonna substitute the death that we deserve for another. And so it was a picture right then and there of what Christ was gonna do. And this is what the believer gets to do. This is the remarkable love that the world's gonna see and be like, whoa, those people are God's, Christ's disciples, because Christ died for them, and look how they love each other. - [Jennifer] They wouldn't be able to do it without him. - [Aaron] Yeah, and so love covers a multitude of sins. So here's a question, I taught this at church and I asked this question, and it was hard for me to get it out without crying. But I said, "Who doesn't want their sins covered?" I said, "Raise your hand." How many hands do you think went up? None. So I ask the listener, do you want your sins covered? Do you thank God that his son Jesus and the blood that he shed covers your sins completely? That you are made white as snow? That you are clean before God? Okay, so if we can answer that question with "Yes, praise God," then our love should do the same. Our love has that same power. I personally love the fact that God no longer sees my sin. I personally love that who I was before Christ is now dead and buried. But, what we often do is we highlight other people's sins. And what it does is it raises us up and puts them down. Oh so-and-so, I can't believe they would treat me that way. You can't believe it? I mean how else do we deserve to be treated, really? We deserve hell. That's what the human state deserves. - [Jennifer] There's other times in marriage that we hold their sin against them. - [Aaron] Absolutely, yeah. - [Jennifer] So, whether it's for ammunition later, or maybe you're not intentionally thinking that, but all the sudden it comes up again, and you haven't covered their sin in love. You've been hanging on to it out of bitterness and anger, and you're gonna spew it out back in their face to make them feel a certain way. - [Aaron] Or waiting for them to trip up and it makes you feel better, because as long as their sin is greater than your sin then you're not a sinner. That's like the logic we use. I know that we struggled with this. You believed because I struggled with certain things you didn't even wanna see your own sin. Things that you were dealing with, your own pride, your own bitterness, your own angers, 'cause I was the sinner in the relationship. I was the one that needed to repent, I was the one that needed to change. And I did, I mean it's not like I didn't. But we do that, we look, we long for the sin in others. Oh, since they're that way, I can be this way. Rather than wanting to cover those sins. Rather than wanting to overlook them and remind those people of who they are in Christ, without pretense, without this idea of like, I'm gonna point this out, because I wanna hurt them. Or I wanna feel better. - [Jennifer] I think just kind of glancing back over those first few years of marriage, something else that I've struggled with is holding on to the sins that you struggled with even after saying I forgive you or trying to make up and resolve things. Because I had this belief about you that you were gonna fail me. So I was building a case, right? - [Aaron] You were waiting for me to, yeah. - [Jennifer] The next time you messed up, I go, "See, this is the type of person that you are." And I held up a mirror to show you your sin instead of pointing you to God and saying, "But he's redeemed you." You know what I mean? I didn't give you-- - Why you acting like this? God's redeemed you. - I didn't give you the positive message, because I truly cared about restoration at that point I was looking for a case in order to get out. To leave, to say, "You're this way, and I can't handle it." - [Aaron] Yeah. And that leads me to this question, do we see our spouse's sins against us as special or less deserving of forgiveness and grace? Do we see the sins and shortcomings of others towards us as less deserving, as special? Yeah, yeah, I've done things, I get it, God forgives me, but what they've done? No, what they've done is not forgivable. What they've done is, you can't tell me to love that person. Well, you know what, I don't. I'm not telling you anything. God says it, okay? When you give that word picture, 'cause I think it perfectly sums up this idea of when we love the way Christ loves, what it does. - [Jennifer] Well, I was just thinking about this idea of covering a multitude of sins by our love, the word picture that I got in my mind to help me understand that is a blanket and it's function. When you think about a blanket and being wrapped up and curled up on the couch with it, it provides warmth and comfort and padding and it consumes you. - It protects you. - [Jennifer] It protects you, it's just all around you and it was a really beautiful picture for me to understand how God covers us. Kinda like even as you said, going back to Adam and Eve, how he covered them, ya know? - [Aaron] And then the picture I got, and the Bible even uses it, says that our sins are made white as snow. And we live in a place that snows. And you see all the landscape, there's all the colors, the grass, the concrete, the trees, the houses. - [Jennifer] Pretty soon everything starts to fade away. - [Aaron] It snows and guess what. Everything's the same color. - Everything's white. - Everything's white. And beautiful and it could be on the dirtiest, muddiest area, and it's a beautiful white field. And that's what Christ's blood does is it covers us. And out of our thankfulness for that, we get to love others the same way. And this isn't an overlooking of sin, this isn't a pretending sin hasn't happened. And I'll talk about that in a second. But it's the way we love that no one, no one's sin is special that doesn't deserve our forgiveness, because what we've done is so worthy of punishment. The littlest sin we've done is detrimental to our own nature. And Christ has forgiven that in us. And I was reading in Leviticus this morning, and it was talking about all of the sacrifices and all the atonements and the priest is supposed to do this and all, it was so weird, I'm reading, I was like, "I wanna watch a video on this." So I watched the Bible Project's video on atonement. - [Jennifer] Oh they're good. - [Aaron] Yeah, it was good. And I almost started crying in Starbucks, 'cause I go to Starbucks after the gym, watching it because it was explaining how the atonement was a replacement and it was talking about the two types of evil, it was the sin against your brother or God. And it washes that away. But the other thing is the broken relationship aspect. Let's say you stole something, you paid it back, right? But there's also now distrust and fear that's in the relationship. And so that has to be atoned for as well. And so there's this picture of the priest sprinkling blood over the temple and the Tent of Meeting, right? And it showed this picture of, there was all this black looking weeds on the ground, and every time the blood hit the ground it turned to normal. And it said the blood also brought us into a safe relationship and a love relationship. And that's what this love does when it's covering. It's not just pretending things didn't happen, it's actually mending relationships so that we can walk with people not in fear, not in angst or anxiety, but we can actually walk with people in freedom and in love and in purity. That's what this does. And I wanted to share that 'cause it literally almost made me cry when I was thinking what God's done for me, and how he's, he didn't just fix the offense, he also fixed the relationship that was broken because of the offense. - [Jennifer] It's remarkable. - [Aaron] Yeah. So, I just wanna quickly, we talked through a lot of the scriptures, but I wanted to quickly say, this isn't to say we ignore sin, because that actually is unloving. Ignoring someone's sin is unloving. The loving thing to do is to address the sin, not out of our own vindication, trying to get something paid back to us, but out of, like you said, pointing them back to the truth of what God said about them. Or if they're not a believer, to repentance and salvation. So the loving way to, we deal with sin lovingly. And we come to people in truth and our position is of we wanna see the best for you. We want you to be in a right relationship with us. As Matthew 18 says, it's like you've won your brother. That's what you go to them for is for the purpose of winning your brother, not for winning the argument or winning the, oh see, all I want is an apology and we'll be good. No, you're going with the intention of hey, this is broken right now. We need to fix this. Love covering a multitude of sins isn't to say that the sins just disappear. It's to say that we deal with them the biblical way, the loving way for the purpose of reconciliation, 'cause that is the ministry we've been given is reconciliation. - [Jennifer] And we do this for people because we desire the same reciprocation, right? Of love? - I want it. - [Jennifer] I want people to overlook and cover the sins that I've committed, even the slightest or smallest, there's no degree. It doesn't matter. If I'm imperfect, I want someone to love me still. And I think that's important to remember, especially in marriage. - [Aaron] So I hope that bit of scripture encourages you in your walk. As usual we pray before signing off, so we're gonna pray. Dear lord, we lift up our hearts to you right now and ask that you would make us a people who love others earnestly. Holy spirit direct our hearts and remind us of your word. We pray we would above all things, love others. We pray we would love our spouse, our children, our friends and those who are in our life. May your love pour out of us. May your love pouring out of us transform our marriages. We pray others would be impacted by the love we share. We pray we'd be able to love so deeply that it covers a multitude of sin. We pray that instead of shame or guilt, people would feel undoubtedly loved by us and by you. We pray for your word to be fulfilled through our choices to walk in love and that your will would be done. In Jesus name, amen. Hey thanks for joining us for this episode. We pray it blessed you, of course. And don't forget to join the Parenting Prayer Challenge. That's parentingprayerchallenge.com It's completely free and we pray it blesses you. See you next week. Did you enjoy today's show? If you did, it would mean the world to us if you could leave us a review on iTunes. Also, if you're interested, you can find many more encouraging stories and resources at marriageaftergod.com, and let us help you cultivate an extraordinary marriage.

36. Tri-Cities Influencer Podcast featuring Ana Ruiz

Tri-Cities Influencer Podcast with Paul Casey

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 26, 2019 32:32

Cynthia Marquez: Sometimes to begin a new story, you have to let the old one in. Author unknown. I am Cynthia Marquez and I am a Tri-Cities influencer. Paul Casey: Keep reinforcing that everyone must place the common good of the team above their own agenda. If one area wins, the whole team wins. Announcer: Raising the water level of leadership in the Tri-Cities of Eastern Washington, it's the Tri-Cities Influencer podcast. Welcome to the Tri-Cities Influencer podcast where Paul Casey interviews, local leaders like CEOs, entrepreneurs and nonprofit executives to hear how they lead themselves and their teams so that we can all benefit from their experiences. Announcer: Here's your host, Paul Casey of Growing Forward Services, coaching and equipping individuals and teams to spark breakthrough success. Paul Casey: Thanks for joining me for today's the episode with Ana Ruiz. She is the director of public relations and marketing for Fiesta foods. She's also the board chair for Tri-Cities Community Health and a board member for the Tri-Cities Regional Chamber of Commerce. And a fun fact about her is she confessed that she watches Real Housewives. Yes, it is her guilty pleasure. Ana Ruiz: Yes. Paul Casey: So most of us have a Netflix vice show and that one's yours. So thanks for being real. All righty, right off the bat. Ana Ruiz: Well, yes, I like it. I confess. Well now everybody knows, I guess. Paul Casey: Now we know. Ana Ruiz: Yeah. But I was listening to NPR and one of the psychologists from Harvard, she was just doing a study on the phenomenon why successful women like the Real Housewives you would think, it's a brainless show. Paul Casey: Right, right. And what'd they say? Ana Ruiz: Well, they couldn't figure out, so apparently it is true that successful women that love it. And then I found out some other really, really good friends, they are amazing ladies, we watch it together so we are texting each other. Paul Casey: Sounds like a social thing. Ana Ruiz: It's a social thing, but there's nothing that... Anyway, so we won't dive into it. It's going to be cut off from this. Paul Casey: Edit that out. Well, before we begin, let's check in with our Tri-City Influencer sponsors. Neal Taylor: Hello, my name is Neal Taylor. I am the managing attorney for Gravis Law's commercial transactions team. The CT team helps business owners, investors and entrepreneurs accelerate and protect their business value. Today we're talking about employment law and alcohol and cannabis licensing. Josh Bam and Derek Johnson are both here with me now to describe those practice areas. Take it Derrick. Derek Johnson: Thanks Neal. I'm Derek Johnson, partner at Gravis Law. We find that many employers in Washington State simply don't have handbooks, employee policies, or any other written materials to protect themselves and their employees. Without having these types of policies in place, an employer can run into trouble by firing employees, even if the employee isn't properly performing or are causing issues at work. Even if an employer fires someone for performance, for example, but fails to take the proper steps, they may run into trouble by inadvertently exposing themselves to a wrongful termination suit. Derek Johnson: We build strong, predictable and protective employee policies to protect our client's business. Josh Bam : That's true. Thanks Derek. And having employment policies in place when you're dealing with cannabis or alcohol licensing is especially important. We know that clean employment policies, clean corporate structure, and having an attorney that can work with the Washington State Liquor and Cannabis Board is critically important to protecting your business through licensing. The attorneys at Gravis Law have this experience. Visit us today, www.GravisLaw.com Paul Casey: Thank you for your support of leadership development in the Tri-Cities. Well, welcome Ana. I was privileged to meet you. It's been three or four years ago, maybe it's been longer where, I was at a chamber of commerce meeting and I had heard, if you know someone's going to be at a meeting and you want to get to know that person, contact them in advance and say, "Hey, can you save me a seat at the event?" So I've done this a couple of times- Ana Ruiz: That's the strategy, huh? Paul Casey: And that was my strategy. Ana Ruiz: Oh, there you- Paul Casey: So I'm like, "Can we hang out?" You're like, "Absolutely. I'm sitting right over there," and we were networking with other people and then we ended up sitting next to each other. I think we talked throughout the whole program, which was disrespectful, but we had a good time. And I learned that you were a graduate of Leadership Tri-Cities, which I am as well. Your class- Ana Ruiz: What class? Paul Casey: I'm class '11. Ana Ruiz: I'm class '18. Paul Casey: We did a little like '11 thing gang symbol Ana Ruiz: '18, and then we have our recent graduate over there too. Paul Casey: Yes, Brandon, our producer, Class 24. Ana Ruiz: Brandon, yeah. Paul Casey: So that was cool to make that connection as well. We've been friends ever since. So that's been awesome. Ana Ruiz: And he is the one... You are my business coach, and you are the one that I blame for all of the turmoil that I went through these last two years. This whole... I don't know, probably that development, that growth and that transformation. With you as my business coach, the questions you were asking me was like being... Sitting on a chair with charcoal, it was torturous. Ana Ruiz: So when I go, "I need," that made me just realize, "Okay, I need to put a break here and then really think through what I want to do." Paul Casey: Yes. Ana Ruiz: You had all these accomplishments and awards and that stuff, but I knew there was more. And you got that out of me, so thank you. Paul Casey: Absolutely. Yes, we're whole people, right? So this professional face that everyone sees, there's this personal thing. We're all having a hard journey. We're all going through struggles. And I just love my job to be able to coach people and help them, and pull out what was already inside you. Just pulling that out of you, so that you could grow forward. So that was a pleasure. Ana Ruiz: Oh, it was you. Thank you. Paul Casey: So our Tri-Cities influencers can get to know you a little bit better, take us through your past positions that led up to you're doing now. Ana Ruiz: Well, I already gave a little intro into what led up to what I'm doing right now. So I am director of PR and Marketing for Fiesta Foods, and this was kind of again, one of those job offers at the beginning. My boss, I've had offered that job like two times before and I would sharply say, every time, like, I'm not going to work for you. I will not work for you." Ana Ruiz: But then again, he's like, "Okay," I see he was serious obviously. He asked me this is what I need you for. And it was just perfect. So, but before that, what got me there, I took a break and I was listening. We were at The Women In Business Conference and the keynote speaker said... She was very successful in through sports career since she was little. Ana Ruiz: And then when she was ready to retire, she didn't know what she was going to do after that and to her about 18 months to find what was next for her. And then it clicked on me as well, so like, Well, it's nothing too foreign or there's not necessarily a timeline or time limit on how long is it going to take you to find what's going to be next." Ana Ruiz: So it took me about 18 months also. A little bit less than 18 months to find what was next, what I wanted to do. So I went to school. It took about that time. But what I'm really passionate about is showing people what I see through my eyes, highlighting and supporting people. Paul Casey: Fantastic. When you got in this position, what was your original vision? Have you created this position sort of from the ground up? Did it exist before you and then how has that sort of morphed since you've been on board? Ana Ruiz: Yes, this is a new position, so I am creating it as I go. Paul Casey: That's fun. Ana Ruiz: Especially with any independent grocer. Fiesta Foods is an independent grocer. We're not your Winco, your Walmart, we are a local grocer. This is a small chain, so it's hard to compete in that bigger world with those bigger grocers, so how do we position ourselves for growth and for sustainability? Ana Ruiz: So redoing all the marketing and now digital marketing. And so having that and how do we carry ourselves into the future? And also not only for Fiesta Foods, but also helping other grocers as well. Paul Casey: Wow. Okay. Ana Ruiz: Yeah. Paul Casey: Well, what are you most passionate about in the business right now? Ana Ruiz: So I wear many hats. Paul Casey: Yeah, that's fun too. Ana Ruiz: I wear many hats. Again, like I told you hanging out with producers, with vendors, which they are entrepreneurs. I'm hearing their stories and their dreams. It's always very inspiring with our workers, with our team members it's to hear their stories. I love it. I tell them, "My job is super fun because I just get to highlight the good that we're already doing." We get to highlight, "You are the star of the show. I just put the spotlight on you. You come every morning, you make us better." And that's my job. And how do we wear that on? How do we communicate that? It's also very important. Paul Casey: Yeah, I do. I do wedding officiating off to the side. I don't know if he knew that. Ana Ruiz: Yes. Paul Casey: But I feel that same way when I get to showcase that couple, and just be sort of in the background. But setting them up for their happy day. So I'm sure in a way you have that same feeling when you get to showcase all the wonderful people that contribute to your business. Ana Ruiz: Yep, and position us for growth, so that's something kind of the work the job that I'm doing behind the scenes. Getting ready to grow, keep growing. Paul Casey: Well, talk to me about the team there at Fiesta, maybe what your role or your boss's role as there trying to create a culture that is really distinctive. Ana Ruiz: It is so interesting because he's funny grocer, but if you look at the team members, there's Anglos and Latinos and just about everything there. So it's very nice to see how we all know this is who we are. We cater to the Hispanic community, the Hispanic market, so learning about the culture. Everybody has to learn about the culture, whether like getting, talking about the tortilla pressers or the fresh made bakery pasteles or el pan. Ana Ruiz: So all those things, it's really nice to see that. I've been in this position for five months, fairly new. So traditionally and probably this is something that many do when you're starting a new position, you are more quiet and you're listening and you're learning. This is a new industry, completely new industry for me, so I'm learning a lot about the grocery industry. Ana Ruiz: So right now I'm on the absorption mode mode and just trying to get to know everybody, team members, and every position. I'm learning about the codes when you are a four zero one one that's bananas. So learning about every position is something that is really important for me. I get to see like a mile in their shoes of every position there. Ana Ruiz: So right now I'm more quiet. I'm listening as far as the culture goes. Later there will be other things that will be coming up and how do we continue improving the culture? Paul Casey: Yeah, I like that. Listening when you're new so Tri-City influencers, if you're listening to this, you want to come in, you want to enact change, you want to do stuff. And it's like, no, actually the wisdom is to sit back and listen for a while and develop the relationships. Paul Casey: I had a boss say that once that, "If I could write a 90 day plan for you, Paul, and your first 90 days it'd be relationships, relationships." I mean he made the font style bigger for all three, like, relationships and then relationships. And then it was like 72 font with relationships, and that sort of took the pressure off of having to do stuff right away. But it's like, no learn. Like you said, absorption mode. That's pretty cool because that's exactly what it takes. Ana Ruiz: So for these positions, that's where I am. In other positions that I do or leadership positions, I've been on Tri-Cities Community Health. You ask me, in your volunteer capacity, what makes you more proud of. And it takes years. It takes time. Ana Ruiz: So I am board chair for Tri-Cities Community Health. It is a nonprofit. We are a community health center. We have around 125,000 visits a year. We have close to 27,000 patients that we serve, so and it is a community health center. So it took years for me to learn and now to guide it and to have a vision again, just being patient. Ana Ruiz: I have to learn to be patient and I had a vision before, so it took years for that. We just completed our strategic priorities. Now we have that. We have our new CEO who's amazing. We have a brand new leadership team. It took years to get to where we are right now. So setting us for the future and especially in healthcare, which needs transformation, healthcare transformation is the way of the future right now. So making sure that we're positioned there. Ana Ruiz: It took also many years, so it's not uncommon to probably be in listening mode more than speaking mode. Paul Casey: And what values stayed the same there at Tri-Cities Community Health even through all the different CEOs or different... While you're listening, you probably saw some current themes. I mean some common themes along the way. What do you say what those values are? Ana Ruiz: Compassion. We take care of people when they are hurting medically or emotionally. So compassion is something that if when I talk to doctors and all of our teams and from leadership top down, everybody is very passionate and in compassion. Right? So that's something that stands out there. Paul Casey: And it's so important to know what those core values are because all your decisions and how you treat one another are based on those core values. Ana Ruiz: Yes. Paul Casey: Well talk to me about staff or employees. How does the organizations you've been in keep people inspired and affirmed? Ana Ruiz: I think you have to lead by example, and I remind everybody, be a customer service expert. And not only that, but when you go there, you meet people just with a smile and with a genuine smile. And when we talk to our team members, reminding them, I mean we are here to provide an experience, right? When we're dealing with other people, regardless of what your job is or your position or the industry, you work, I mean, just having a good customer service, a good smile is so important. Makes it a lot easier. Ana Ruiz: It makes your job easier. It makes your day easier. It makes everything so much fun. Right? So I think that's something that is very big at Fiesta. Paul Casey: Yeah. The smile is contagious. I know it's a Little thing, but it makes a big difference. People then reflect your smile back. They feel better, and we have to remind our team what those core values are. Those things that will make a difference with customers and clients. Ana Ruiz: That's is true. Paul Casey: Well, Ana, no one wants to get stale in leadership, so how do you stay relevant? How do you stay on the cutting edge of now it's marketing, public relations in your volunteer role with healthcare? How do you foster innovation in those organizations? Tell me about that. Ana Ruiz: Well as I said, you're developing, you're evolving and knowing what's happening in the industry, what's going to keep you again relevant. And not only that, but afloat and thriving. It is very important. Ana Ruiz: So as you are leading an organization you need to stop and you need to understand that. And make sure that you know you are well versed on your industry. So education. Paul Casey: Is that through reading or is that through hanging out with different people or is that going to conferences? How do you that? Ana Ruiz: It's a combination of all of them. Going to conferences, the group of consultants that are friends that you have. I do have a group of close consultants that if I have a question I go to them and mentors. Paul Casey: Awesome. We all definitely need mentors. And I interviewed one of the top leaders in the Tri-Cities a few years ago before I started doing the podcast and he said, mentoring was the thing that at each time of his life when there was an uptick, when it was a high, there was a mentor in his life at that point. And he's able to look back now over four or five of those and say, "Oh there was always a mentor there that helped that high point in my life." Ana Ruiz: Definitely. I mean, I couldn't be where I am if I didn't have the mentors that I've had throughout the years and have helped me and guided me through some concerns or questions that I've had. That I kind of make a phone call, "Hey, are you ready? Can I still by and just have a glass of wine or two?" And then two in the morning later... Ana Ruiz: That they do have an effort and that you appoint on helping. I've been mentored. So I also like to mentor. If anybody needs anything or help, I have made myself available for that. So yeah, Paul Casey: That's fantastic. And I think a lot of influencers have that same servant/leader attitude of, "If I were asked, I would mentor." But it's sometimes scary to ask someone to be your mentor and you don't even have to use that word. You could probably just, "Hey, can I pick your brain? Can I ask for some advice?" So we need to not be scared about that, but to just be willing to ask for help. Paul Casey: So before we head into our next question on what makes a good day for Ana, let's shout out to our sponsors. Paul Casey: Jason Hogue, American Family Insurance. Jason, what is the biggest pushback you'd get about life insurance? Jason Hogue: Hey, Paul. Yeah, one of the biggest pushbacks I get from life insurance is from folks that are single. They're usually usually ask me, "Why do I even need this? I don't have kids, I don't have any dependents or a spouse. Why do I need this?" Jason Hogue: Ultimately whenever you pass on, there's going to be somebody there to pick up the pieces. There's going to be somebody to deal with your affairs. And I would say it's your responsibility to make sure that there is funds, that there's money there so that person can take the time needed to go through it properly. And not make it their responsibility. Paul Casey: Awesome, Jason. So tell us, how can our listeners get in touch with you? Jason Hogue: You can swing by our office on Road 68 in Pasco or give us a call at (509) 547-0540. Paul Casey: So Ana, what makes it a good day for you personally? When you go at the end of the day, you put your head on your pillow and you think back and go, "It was a good day today," what's going on in that day to make it good? Ana Ruiz: I have a list of things that I want to accomplish and they used to be really long. So it made me be a little frustrated with myself when I wasn't able to get that list done. So I just narrowed it down to three things. Paul Casey: Yes, three things. I teach that. I love that. Ana Ruiz: Three things. If I get those three things done, is is amazing. Plus, I am a... I mean and you are that too. You're a person of faith and a spiritual person, so "God, this is your day. You are the driver. Let it be your will be done. And let me see what you have in store for me." Ana Ruiz: So to see that, yes, and then to know that my three things were accomplished and then some extra fun things along the way. It is so nice. I mean just to see all His creation of the things that he has. How He sparkles a day. It feels so good. Ana Ruiz: And then see having a nice dinner. I love eating outside. Yeah, so having a nice dinner. I love having dinners with my kids as a family. It's a little more challenging because they're growing and especially right now with the transition that we're going through, it's a little bit more challenging, but that makes it work for a fun and good way of finishing the day. Paul Casey: So we can find you in a patio at a restaurant somewhere around the Tri-Cities. Ana Ruiz: Oh, yes. I like that. Paul Casey: No, I love what you said how God will sparkle the day. That is really cool because you're entering the day with an anticipation of what's the cool thing that's going to happen today? And that sort of just kick starts you into a day when you might be tired of waking up. Like "No, something cool is going to happen today." Ana Ruiz: Every day, every day. And then you look back and like, "God, you are amazing. You're just too much!" Paul Casey: I know. I know. Ana Ruiz: Yes. Paul Casey: And the three things, it's not five, it's not seven, it's not 12 because then you get discouraged when you don't get the whole list done, so you said, "I'm going to chop it down." We call them the big rocks, right? Ana Ruiz: Yeah. Paul Casey: The three big rocks to get done. If you do that earlier in the day, then you're probably going to get more than three things done. But at least you got your three priorities done. Ana Ruiz: And everybody has their own, the times where you're more most productive. For me is in the morning. Like at five my brain starts working, and I start texting people, calling people, emailing people. So I- Paul Casey: 5:00 in the AM. Ana Ruiz: Oh dear Lord. Yes. Well, and that's changing lately. That has changed lately, but most of the time is early. Paul Casey: Yeah, I found on this podcast, as I interview more and more influencers, the morning people are the ones that get a lot done. Ana Ruiz: Yes. And then if I think I'll have something at the end of the day, like seven, eight, nine, sorry. I do. A quick email or text message. Paul Casey: Yep. to wrap it up. Ana Ruiz: Yeah. Paul Casey: Well take us behind the scenes of your life a little bit more. What is your best habit and what is your worst habit? So the thing that kick starts you and makes you even most productive, and then that thing that's sort of you sabotage yourself a little bit once in a while with that thing. How about your best habit first? Ana Ruiz: My best and my worst it would be probably the same because that's the one that I haven't... It's been a little weak lately. I miss it so much, so prayer is something that is really important. And I haven't done that lately, but I know when I do it, it makes the day super productive. Ana Ruiz: And right now it's not a very good habit because I am not following that much, so- Paul Casey: So when you are doing it, it gives you that power. Ana Ruiz: Yes. Like yesterday I went to... I haven't gone to confession for sometime, and I went to visit the Blessed Sacrament. ] Like, "Oh my God. I miss him so much." And then I went to confessions, so yeah. It does- Paul Casey: Well, it connects with that key core value in your own life, and when you're living on track with that, things are going great and when you realize, "Oh, something's missing," then you got to get back to it. Ana Ruiz: Yes, yes, yes, yes. Paul Casey: Whatever that is. Ana Ruiz: And in the morning I like to read the newspaper. Right now, with the digital thing now, everything's an app. So reading the newspaper in the morning, is something that keeps me connected. And I don't watch much TV, but reading the news is something that I like. And keeping myself informed is something that I like too. Paul Casey: Do you have a favorite quote that inspires you or a motto or a theme for your life? Ana Ruiz: Many, but I can't remember anything right now. All of them went away. Paul Casey: No worries. Ana Ruiz: But if you look through my Facebook, on the wall, I go through, there is a Facebook page. The Jesuits, Midwest Jesuits. So they have quotes all the time. So I go through them and the one that inspires me is the one that I put there. So you can see kind of the evolution of what is moving me and what's inspiring me and things. Yeah, so there's a lot of good nuggets there. Paul Casey: Yeah. How about a book, a favorite book that everybody should read? Is there any book that's been really inspirational for you? Ana Ruiz: Well, it just makes you dream and disconnects you a little bit. That one. I like it. It's just soothing for me. Paul Casey: Who would you say in town is an influencer that Tri-City-ians should meet? Who do you see at many events and you sort of look up to that person. And go, "Wow, that person has great influence in the Tri-Cities." Ana Ruiz: Oh, there are many. I mean when I moved here to Tri-Cities first, when we got invited to come to Pasco, and I'm like, "What's Pasco? What's that anyway?" And then I got here and I was looking at the city as a recent immigrant. Then I looking at the school district, the school system, government, and I was like, "There's something really special about this community. I want to get to know and help." Ana Ruiz: So the decisions where we have right now, it's based on decisions that were made 30, 40, 50 years ago. So to get to know some of those people and the vision they have is just pretty awesome. And so there are many. Ana Ruiz: For the school district, I know she retired recently, school Superintendent, Sandra Hill. She's an amazing lady and amazing visionary. Also Jean Ryckman. She is the Port of Pasco Board President. So those are two wonderful... Kris Watkins, she just retired and getting to know and see all the work that she's done. Like "Oh,"- Paul Casey: Visit Tri-Cities, yeah. Ana Ruiz: Visit Tri-Cities. She was leadership Tri-Cities also. She she had that vision and she was... So all that story is just amazing. Getting to know now Sue Frost is a great lady. I was, well I just thought- Paul Casey: Well it seems like the common thread of those, you said the word vision a few times. So you look up to people that have that snapshot of the future. Ana Ruiz: Yes, and it takes years. It takes years. So it gave me some more patience because I by nature, I'm very impatient. So I think through seeing that, that it takes years to see things come to fruition. And sometimes you might not see them and somebody else will, but doesn't matter. The vision that I had of creating a sisterhood with Colima and that was 20 years. Paul Casey: Really? 20 years. Ana Ruiz: It took 20 years, so now that's something that is on the works and learning how to make it solid and happen, right? So just working on that. It took many years. Paul Casey: Now leaders are action oriented people. So I think we do get more impatient because we want to see that vision come to reality, and it's good wisdom to say we've got to slow down and follow the process. And it's going to be really great. We can't rush greatness. Ana Ruiz: You have to find their right people, the right time, you want something to be solid. So again, finding the right team to drive- Paul Casey: The team and time. Yep. Ana Ruiz: And time. It's is key for that. So patience. Paul Casey: So if you left a letter on your desk for the leader at Tri-Cities Community Health or the leader at Fiesta who comes after you, what would that letter say? What advice would you give to that person that comes after you? Ana Ruiz: So for a business or a for-profit is different a little bit than a nonprofit, but I think, listen, listen and listen some more. I think that is something that I would tell everybody. Just be a good listener. And that that applies to both to business, even though on business, you need to be quicker with your feet to react to changes. So that's one. Ana Ruiz: But for Tri-Cities Community Health, be a good listener, be compassionate always. Paul Casey: Awesome advice. Any other advice you would give to influencers here in the Tri-Cities that are listening? Ana Ruiz: You have to be, again, I think the recurring theme is you have to be patient. And when you were talking to people, we're dealing with humans, right? When you are in front of somebody, that other person has their story, ups and downs. So being mindful of that. Sometimes we might make mistakes, and we have to also have that in mind that we are all humans. And we make mistakes, and we also have to be ready to forgive. Paul Casey: Yeah. Full of grace. Full of grace. Well, how can our listeners best connect to you if they want to get in touch with you? Ana Ruiz: So my email... They can get ahold of me by email. I don't know if I need to say it here? Paul Casey: Yeah, go ahead and say it all. Ana Ruiz: So Ana, A-N-A @fiesta-foods.com. You can get a hold of me there or Facebook, you can send me a message there or a phone number. Maybe give me a call as well yeah. Paul Casey: Awesome. Well thanks again for all you do to make the Tri-Cities a great place and keep leading well. Ana Ruiz: Thank you. It takes a village, right? Paul Casey: Sure does. Ana Ruiz: Nobody can do it alone. Thank you. Paul Casey: Let me wrap up our podcast today with a leadership resource to recommend. It's the Disc Survey. So you might've heard of Disc. A lot of our guests have talked about it D-I-S-C, and you can get a free version from this at Tony Robbins website. Tony Robbins with two Bs .com/disc. And you can take a free version. It won't give you all the bells and whistles, but it will identify which are your top-rated personality traits, D, I, S or C. Whether you're more of a dominant person, more of an influential, a steady or a conscientious person, so again, TonyRobbins.com/disc. Paul Casey: And don't forget to consider patronizing our sponsors of Tri-City Influencer, Gravis Law and Jason Hogue, American Family Insurance. Paul Casey: Finally, one more leadership tidbit for the road to help you make a difference in your circle of influence. It goes on that compassion theme that Ana was talking about. It's by Henry Drummond. He said, "You will find as you look back upon your life, that the moments when you have really lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love." Keep growing forward. Announcer: If you enjoyed this podcast or piqued your interest in learning more about leadership and self-leadership, you can continue to glean from Paul and his Growing Forward Services. Check out Paul's blog and the products, tips and tools on his website at www.PaulCasey.org, and opt into his Target Practice, inspirational e-newsletter. You'll get his 33 top tips for becoming a time management rock star when you subscribe and consider buying one of his three books. The most recent one being Leaving The Team You've Always Wanted. Paul Casey: This podcast has been produced by Bonsai Audio at Fuse Coworking Space.

How To Be A Better Listener

Influence School

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 11, 2019 13:53

You saw the title of this video. It's how to be a better listener. And I mean what can we talk about in such a short video to actually improve listening. Well Valerie's got 5 strategies that she's going to share on how we can become better listeners. Where do we begin? This is a good topic. -Well, I'm just going to sit back and listen. Right? -What!? -You tell me. No, I'm just kidding. No. So, becoming a better listener is something that I think all of us could really stand to improve upon. It's... It's a struggle, right? I mean anytime there's a lull in the conversation almost everyone in the room is waiting to just jump in and give their opinion. Money and I work with lots of professional speakers. -Yes. -That's what... That's what we love to talk. So, yeah. What's... What are some key strategies that we can really do to be better at listening. -Yeah. Well, so one of the things that I really encourage people to do is to take time. I think if you take some time intentionally to listen, you will get better at it. I mean you will find that you are developing that more and more when you're face to face with people. And when I say take time, a lot of times this means just taking the time to pay attention to what's going on in your surroundings. I like to... I like to make the habit of leaving 5 minutes early from something or for something. So, that I'm not rushing to get somewhere. And that just allows me just a few extra moments to be paying attention to what are people saying around me, what needs doing walk across when I'm walking from my car to the store. When I'm walking into my house. Are there things around me that I'm normally moving so fast that I'm not even paying attention to? In business though, taking time also means paying attention to what's going on and being said without my industry or even my brand. And social listening is actually something that you can pay companies to just do. They will just pay attention and be watching for when your brand is being mentioned. Now usually it's bigger brands that pay a lot of attention to social listening. For smaller brands, this can be as simple as just paying attention to what the comments are, the message is, what kinds of things are being said when you do a search. -I never heard of that phrase. Social listening. -The social listening. Yeah, it's just paying attention to what are people saying. So especially if you're dealing with maybe some bad press related to your brand, you want to be paying attention big-time to what people are saying. Now, if you're launching something new, listening can be really helpful because you can get a pulse on what people are looking for in your service or your product. Pretty cool. So, that makes me think of Google Alerts. Maybe sitting out.... Somebody's put my name or my company name or something out there, yeah. -Yeah. Always have Google Alert set up. And a lot of social media management tools not only allow you to schedule posts but they also allow you to watch for whenever your brand's are tagged or mentioned in social media posts. So, especially in places like Twitter and Instagram where there might be a lot of things coming in you could easily miss, it's really nice to have a software that's tracking that stuff for you. -Okay, so now how does that... Let's just talk about how that applies individual like if I'm having a conversation with somebody. How can I take more time listening? Is it just... You know, white-knuckling it or like i know i want to talk but I've got a busy home I hold my time. -Well, have you ever tried just for the fun of it seeing if you could have those awkward silences? And give that extra split second before you respond to something? It's kind of a fun practice to have. And just to go into maybe one night at a party, you plan to just kind of have that extra little pause. Sometimes that can be really effective because when they realize that you actually say something that you're... Then it must be important. The other thing I like to do at parties and with some social and instances, is I try to go into it where I don't do this all the time. But every once in a while, I will go into a social interaction with someone and say, "You know what? I want to ask more questions to them than they ask of me." I want them to be talking more than they than I'm talking. So, this is really fun in business scenarios or networking scenarios. Because people like talking about themselves. And so if you can get someone talking about themselves, you give them this feeling of, "Wow, they really like me." And you actually leave with a much higher impression or they leave with a much higher impression of you than if you had done a lot of talking about yourself. -So, made me think of maybe I'll go to an event or something with a buddy that we're going to have a competition and you can get that who can be asking the most questions. Maybe we keep tally marks that way we pay attention to it. -Yeah. -You know, it's really fun. This... This works maybe for kids more than adults. But if you're really introverted and shy, this could work for you too. But I was at a party a couple weeks ago and the dad of the adult children all grown and adults now. He said when his kids were young, they had a lot of business types of parties at their house where was a lot of adults and very few other kids. And he told his kids, "I will pay you a quarter for every person you can name and tell me something intelligent about them from your conversation." And so, their kids learned how to talk to adults and engage them in conversation because they were making money from it. Isn't that fun? -All right. So, we spent a lot of time on that first ingredient. What would you say is a second ingredient to listening? -The second ingredient is to go deeper. The reality is you can go deep with anyone. It's just a matter of finding the right questions to ask. And be willing to potentially go into some uncomfortable conversations. Now, of course you're going to make some judgment calls as to when it's the right scenario for that. The deeper you go with someone the more the other person will feel like they have been heard. And so, the more questions you can ask that require them to actually explain themselves versus a yes-or-no question really open yourself up to going deeper with people. -Okay, I like that. Alright. What is key number 3? -Okay. So, the next key is to listen with your whole body. A lot of times people... You know, they like to be maybe on their phone. They've got their arms crossed. They've got their body turned or they're looking beyond you to see who walked in the room instead of looking you straight in the eye. Being fully engaged not being on your phone. Those are all very simple things you can do to show someone that you actually are paying attention. There's a lot that is said without saying any words. And so that nonverbal communication that you're sending to someone is extremely important. So, yeah. Avoid distractions especially with the smart phone. -So, I know a couple people who are experts in body language and anytime that teach me something, I then become self conscious. Conscious of that thing. So one of the things is I guess the direction my shoes are pointing. So, if I'm standing and I my shoes are pointing to you, that means I'm I'm interested. But if my shoes start pointing towards the door it's like, I guess subconsciously I'm telling you, "I'm kind of ready to leave." -Yeah. You know, that's just makes me think of, "Okay. I got to pay attention to what my body is saying other than what I'm actually vocally saying." -Right. -Okay. -Yeah. -Alright. What is secret number 4? -Okay. Secret number 4 is actually to be very slow to respond. So this is very similar to the first one where you're taking time but you by being slow to respond, it tells the other person that you are actually processing the information that they have given you. Whether it's a professional conversation or it's a personal conversation. The slower you can be to respond is really beneficial. And it allows you to actually have some intelligent responses instead of just quickly feeling like you need to fill that awkward silence. So, I know it's hard but be slow to respond. And one of the best things too is being careful about how fast you're responding on social media. You know, comments on YouTube anything like that. We have the ability to take a big deep breath before we respond to something because I don't know about you but every once in a while I'm moving so fastm I miss read some emails. I will miss read comments and I'll go back and look at them and think, "Oh, I'm glad I didn't respond in in anger to that because they actually didn't... They weren't trying to be snarky. But I first read it as..." So, sometimes you need to take a big deep breath and realize, "Okay. I'll come back to this in a few minutes." It's okay. People don't always expect that you're right in front of your phone or right in front of that social media platform. -So, I like that. I find that that's... That's really applicable to me. When I'm in person, I'm typically very kind. But when I am... I get i like the word snarky. When I get a snarky email or comment or something, I feel like, "I got to defend myself." But with social media, I can... I can take some time to like read it. Like "No, I better not say that in a recent. Go back." So, that's... That certainly applies to social media or email. Yeah. -Yeah, for sure. I think we all struggle with it. -Alright. What is method number 5 to listening? -So, this is really important when it comes to building a brand online and it involves monitoring the trends. So, when you're listening and trying to build influence online, you want to be paying attention to what is going on in your industry. What are people talking about, what are people concerned about, what questions do people have. And so if you're monitoring those trends, you're able to know exactly what to speak into and you can be a lot more strategic. And I know you monitor trends that are regular basis by doing keyword research. So, you before you create any videos, you are listening first to see what is trending that we should speak into and educate people on. It's the same thing in any other spot in digital marketing. And as you're trying to build that digital influence, it's really important. And that that brought to mind. Actually when I'm having a conversation with an individual. If I had... If I had gone to their profile say on Facebook and I knew that they had went on an adventure in Europe or there was a family event or something and when were in conversation, I bring it up, I bet they... They're going to feel heard. Maybe, yeah. I bet they're going to feel heard or felt valued that, "Wow, he actually follows me on social media." -Yeah. They're going to know you care if you're paying attention to what's going on. And honestly, Facebook friends lists are one of my favorite tools to be able to do exactly what you're talking about. -Thank You Valerie. I appreciate your showing the 5 nuggets to learn to listen better. Definitely want to recommend her book to you. This is Valerie Morris, We're All Ears. You can find this on Amazon. And you didn't mention keyword research. So I'm going to offer my keyword research guide for free. Keyword research is so important because if you do it before filming, your videos will rank day one on YouTube. So if you click the link below, you can get access to that. And of course, be sure to subscribe. See you tomorrow.

social europe amazon money secret keyword so i'm conscious when i'm i'm i'm google alerts right what like no valerie morris

SFR 191: My Coaching Contract Pt.1...

Sales Funnel Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 13, 2018 24:00

Boom, what's going on everyone? It's Stephen Larsen. This is Sales Funnels Radio. Today, I'm gonna teach you guys about my coaching contract. I've spent the last four years learning from the most brilliant marketers today. And now I've left my nine to five to take the plunge and build my million dollar business. The real question is, how will I do it without VC funding or debt completely from scratch? This podcast is here to give you the answer. Join me and follow along as I learn, apply, and share marketing strategies to grow my online business. Using only today's best internet sales funnels. My name is Steve Larsen and welcome to Sales Funnel Radio. What's up, guys? I'm super excited about this. I've actually been looking forward to this quite a bit... So I am knees deep in the One Funnel Away Challenge at ClickFunnels right now. I have the complete honor and privilege of being the guy to literally daily basically go in and hold people's feet to the fire. It was like two or three days before I actually started the challenge, I started thinking about every other scenario where I was coaching people. I've coached well over 1,800 people through this process now. Many have become millionaires, many have made hundreds of thousands of dollars, and a ton of people made money for the first time in their entire life ever as an entrepreneur. And I'm very proud of that when I say that. And what's interesting, and what's been really cool about this is that I've been able to go through and figure out more about the patterns of why it worked, or why it didn't... And not just from a funnel perspective. I've been really, I don't know if introspective is the right word? You guys know I'm a kinda introspective individual in general, but I've been able to go through and look, not just from a marketing standpoint... Meaning not just from a sales message, or an offer, or this is what this guy did in this funnel that's why he made the million, but I've been able to step back and look more deeply into the individual, and look at some of the attitudes some of these people would of have about what I was teaching them. So I thought it would be kinda neat in this episode to go through and teach you guys some of the rules that I've created as I continue to do more coaching. And if they don't abide by these rules, I don't wanna coach them. It's so cut and dry... So, I just wanna teach you guys what those are, so you understand the mentality that I'm coming from, and why I have patience in some areas, and why I have absolutely zero, unapologetic, no patience at all in other areas. And so, I thought it would be kinda neat to go through and do this. Now when I first started, this was like two or three years ago, that was the original 2 Comma Club Coaching program - which is coming up on two years. Holy crap! That's crazy. Anyway, so I went, and I started looking at all the different patterns of how that got started. I remember when I first started as that coach we were coming up with the 2 Comma Club Coaching program, I was like, "This is so cool. Who's gonna do this?" And then I was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm built for this man. Let me do this. This would be so cool". And what was interesting, first of all, I was so excited, I was so stoked, I was so shocked to be the original 2 Comma Club Coach and get put in those roles, and it's just a bunch of fun. I really enjoyed it. I guess it was an episode ago that I talked about the way a customer comes into your product often determines if they're successful with it afterward. It's not just a pre-frame. You can pre-frame somebody for a sales message, that's not what I'm talking about at all. I'm talking about pre-frame for your actual product success. So, it's almost the exact same kind of thing. So, this has become a pre-frame. I have them written down in front of me here... these are some of the pre frames. Like I said a second ago, when I first was that 2 Comma Club Coach, I went in, I remember I was so stoked. I was very nervous. I remember the first coaching session came up. If you guys watch, it was a three-day launch that we did - it was called The Seven Day Launch - but it was three days on stage. I got on stage with Russell doing a part of it, and it was really fun to go and drop out these different questions and back and forth, back and forth, and then suddenly realize there are 600 students, and I'm the only coach. Whoa, right? I was like "Holy crap! How I'm gonna do this? Alright here we go!" And I was starting to get all pumped up, and I was trying to get jazzed about it. And what was fascinating about that is I remember that I went in with the belief and the expectation that I would be coaching simply on marketing. I thought that I was gonna go on and I was gonna teach funnels, sales messages: "Here's how create the offer. Here's great places to get traffic. Here's how you create a publishing or content machine. Here's how you become the attractive character. Here's how you have a cause and a new opportunity." All of these pieces, I thought that that was what I would be mostly coaching on. And it wasn't until a while later that I realized that that's not actually what happened. A few weeks into the program somebody asked me a question that wasn't on one of these areas. There are these live Q and A's that I do for four straight hours every Friday. Four straight hours, live Q and A with the person in front of the rest of the group. I would be diving into their stuff with them. Diving in, diving in, diving in, diving in. And what was interesting was a few weeks in, I started getting questions about, "Well Stephen, I'm a little bit scared to do that?" And I was like, "Uh alright, that doesn't mean you still shouldn't, alright?" "Well, Stephen, I don't know what to say?" Or "I'm not actually that good on a camera yet?”... And what's funny is a lot of the questions... they weren't about marketing! I think that's the thing that was most shocked me about what happened when I started doing this stuff. Most of the questions had nothing to do with marketing. They had everything to do with beliefs. They had everything to do with mindset. (I hate the word mindset, we'll call it attitude.) It had everything to do with attitude. I think the term mindset is overused - people just make it fluffy. Anyway, they had everything to do with the way the individual was approaching the task, rather than the task itself: Here's marketing, rather than here's how you actually how you attack it. Here's how to actually do it and pull off what it is I'm teaching. And so what's interesting, what's been cool, is that I went in thinking and studying and geeking out and obsessing over the marketing because that's what was I was gonna go teach... But in reality, about half the question that I still get today, have nothing to do with marketing. They had everything to do with the individual's beliefs. So I've made it a goal in my coaching to teach people to do to themselves what I'm trying to teach them to do to their customers. Meaning, if I can get an individual to look at their customer base and go, "You know what, these are like three or four or five or six or seven false beliefs that all these customers have about me and my product and what we're doing." If I can get someone to identify that, the rest of that is cake. Now, we can start structuring belief shifts. Basically, I'm gonna change the way the individual believes. (There's some serious freaking power in the marketing game you gotta be careful with it, okay?) But, if they're doing that to the customer - what if I could teach them to do that to themselves? Now that's hard to do... Because let me ask you a question real quick. "Hey you, right now, listening or watching this. What are your false beliefs?" You don't have false beliefs! There's no such thing as a false belief? You believe it, right? "Hey, what are your false beliefs?" "I don't have any. They're my beliefs!" Right? So, it's a little bit harder to do. I teach how to find false beliefs. I teach them how to break and rebuild and shift belief patterns for their customers, but I also help the student identify their own belief patterns, false belief patterns. The objections and complaints of the student themselves. I help them come to understand, "Look! Check it out. You have a false belief in this area about what I'm teaching. You don't think it's gonna work, you are fighting me on it. You're either complaining, or you've thrown up an objection. You don't wanna do it anymore... you're throwing in the towel." If I get an individual to point out to themselves the false beliefs they have about the game that they're in... Guys, their progress goes through the freaking roof. It's insane. They learn how to self-doctor. They learn how to self-medicate (not the right word). They learn how to self-assess... there we go. They learn how to self-assess, "What's actually the barriers and the obstacles that have been keeping them where they are?" This is huge to understand. This is a massive, massive concept. So, some of the things that I do now... Like, part of the reason I have that mannequin... You guys have seen me bring in that mannequin? If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's a few episodes ago... But, I have a mannequin, and it's a punching bag in the shape of a guy. And on that mannequin, I started writing down things that people are afraid of. But it ended up being me writing the things that I'm afraid of or me writing down the things that freak me out, or me writing down the things that are telling me about me that aren't true. I have things on there like: "Shame. Guilt. Not good enough. Fear. Imposter. Dummy." I got "Loser" on the front of it. I've got all these things that are negative that are constantly pushing in on me. I don't want you to ever look at somebody who's on stage, somebody super successful, or an entrepreneur, and think, "Man, they got it all together." No! If they look like that, they've just gone through a long disgusting road full of mud that has been through this incredible, massive, self-altering, self-discovery, that you haven't gone through yet. That's all it is. Yes, they made a lot of cash on the way, but first, they had to qualify to make that cash. So that's what I've been learning how to do in the past especially year is go in and help a student identify their own crap. "Look, let me help you call yourself out on your own BS here. You got some crappy beliefs. That's a false belief! That's a false belief! That's a false belief, and it's not right. It's not true. It's not real. What story have you been telling yourself that's been keeping that belief alive?" We go through, and they'll write it down, and they're like, "Here's all my fears and here's how I'm gonna overcome it." That's actually the very first day on the One Funnel Way Challenge. They go in, and they write down all their fears, how they're gonna overcome the things... and don't make a big old laundry list that'll stress you out. It's so funny guys, my business has grown to the extent that I have. That's been my biggest realization in the past six months. Like, "Holy crap!" The game's been even more fun for me because I've noticed that as I get more discipline, as I add positive restraint, (positive constraint in my body, in my mind, in my behaviors, in my habits), I actually become more wealthy or I bring in more cash, or I can help more customers. It's the weirdest relationship ever. And so, with all that preface in mind, I what to read my rules to you. That's why I take this so seriously. I am not a friend to my students. I let them know first, that that is the rule: "I am first your coach. I'm not your friend.” I'm not here to make it fluffy. If you're wrong, I'm gonna tell you that you're wrong. If I can see you can handle more, I will push you, and I will make it uncomfortable. That's all about what I believe as a strategic hardship - because of what it crafts the person to be, and what it crafts the individual to become and do. And so that's why I'm going through this right now. What I've noticed is that when somebody follows these rules, I'm allowed to come in with my side of what I will give to them. If they follow the rule I will award them with more of me. And so these are some of the rules that I created for the One Funnel Way Challenge as well. But, if they do this, then I will do this. I call it my coaching contract, and we released it to everybody. I just want you guys to know what some of these things are so that you're able to go in and see like "Oh, my gosh, that's why it worked when I worked with Stephen. That's why it didn't work when I worked with Stephen." Or "That's why it's never worked yet in general regardless of who I've gone to." And please know it comes from a place of love. I'm just a product of the product that I'm trying to teach you guys about. I had to get honest with myself. I had to look at myself and go, "Stephen, you're dumb." I had to get honest, I had to be open, I had to be real. I was 35% body fat in high school, I was a big kid: "Stephen, you're fat," and be open about that and be honest. "Okay, I accept that. That's okay, my self-worth is not based on that." I own where I am and bask in the reality of where I am? That is one of the biggest keys. So, as you go through here and you understand, I'm very intense as a coach, and it's because I believe this changes peoples lives. And that's part of what motivates me to do it, and it's part of why I don't care if I offend your attitude a little bit. If it's truth, it's truth okay? If it offends you, it means it's probably ultra true. So anyways, guys, I'm just gonna walk you guys through this right here real fast okay? This is the sub-headline: I am first your coach (like I was just saying), I am not your friend. Man, this is such a big one. People get offended by that, but I don't really care. Rule Number One: "If you will do the work then I will show what work matters." I hate fluffy work. I hate busy work, I will never give you any. I will show you the path. I will show you exactly what it is that you need to be doing and what you should not do. Number Two: "If you will show up hungry, then I will match your hunger. I will NOT push harder than you do." If you guys went to Funnel Hacking Live 2017, (I hope you guys are all coming this next year because it's going to be ridiculous. Oh my gosh.) Sean Stevenson gave a speech in 2017, and he talked about the motto of the Coast Guard.The Coast Guard has this interesting motto. Here's the scenario: A helicopter goes up into the ocean, there's a sea full, there are fifty people in the ocean, and the helicopter can only save like 16. Who do you save? That's a tough question. That's a tough question. And I'm not trying to be all Debbie Downer here when you think about this, but I just want you to know what do you do? So their motto, and what they do, part of their motto, is they say that they "Only save those that are swimming to them, who are actually making an attempt." You can't save somebody, you are not a savior to your customer, you're not. You can only help those who are willing to help themselves. The biggest thing that I cannot teach an individual, I have tried to find ways, I can't figure it out. I cannot teach somebody to be hungry. I can't. If they don't want it, there's nothing I can do. It's not about going 50/50, it's about goin’ 100/100. 50/50 sucks, that's a stupid rule! I need all of their devotion, and I will match the level of their devotion. Part of the reason why some people will be like, "Well, I don't know, Stephen.. did he fulfill for me?" I'm like, "Well, you never did anything that I told you to do on day one." I'm just being open, I'm gonna be real and real honest with you. If it offends ya, okay! Does that make sense? Someone's like, "Well, this ClickFunnels game... Sales... in general. I don't know if this really works?" Like "No! You're just not working, okay?" Number two, the rule is, "If you just are willing to show up hungry, then I will match your hunger." Because I can't teach hunger, I cannot teach somebody to be hungry. The difference for any employee, or any entrepreneur, the difference in attitude in any area of life, is if they show up hungry, more doors open for them. If they don't, doors close. And that's exactly how it happens in every opportunity in your life. Opportunities don't stick around. They get passed onto the next person. If you're not hungry, they don't stick around to you. That's rule number two. Show up hungry, then I will match your hunger. Rule Number Three: "If you will NOT use your current or past situation as an excuse... This is a heavy one. You guys like these? These are not normal rules - every one of them has a lesson behind them... "You are not allowed to use your current or your past situation as an excuse, and when you do, I will help you call you out on your BS." I need you to understand this one - it's a huge one. Too many times I've noticed people will be like, "Well, my situations a little different..." No, it freaking isn't. It's different to you, but it's not different than the hardships, or the level of intensity that somebody else is in who is doing it. "Well, my situation is a little bit different now, I don't have the time." Bull Crap, okay! I don't believe that one EVER! That one drives me nuts. "I don't have the time." Or "I don't have the money." Yeah? Garbage! Stupid! I don't believe you! Prove it? Go in, show me a time study of what you're doing in your life? I don't believe you, and I will NOT believe you. If you ever walk up to a mic and you ask a Q and A like that, "Well, I just don't have time to pull this off." I will publicly make fun of you. That one drives me up the wall. No one's even saying this to me right now, but it's clearly a nerve. That one drives me nuts! I was in college, fourteen credits baby. Almost getting straight A's every semester. I was in the army - Holy crap, that is a huge time commitment. Married, kids, doing my own funnels on the side, that's where I freaking learned funnels with two to three hours a day. That's all I could squeeze out - that's it. Those were the most productive, ferocious three hours of my day. I made sure to give my best self. I'm not talking family, time or things like that. But, every other thing that I had to go do. My best self was given to me learning funnels. I knew it was the way out. So anyway, you're not allowed to use your current or your past situation as an excuse. Drives me up the wall! Absolutely not. It is a catalyst, NOT a hindrance. If you do that, then I will help you call you out on your own BS. What's nice about that is that a second set of eyes can help you better. That's what my role is, to go in and help you see look, you got this belief pattern that I think is really hindering you. And sometimes we're so close to our thing, I'm the same way. Guys I have spent $75,000 this year on coaching, okay? And it's for that reason. It's so that somebody else can help call me out on the BS I can't even see myself 'cause I'm so freaking close to it. That's the benefit of it. So sometimes people are like, "Wait, if I don't use my current or past situations as an excuse, you will help me call me out on my own BS? How is that?" I was like "It's actually a blessing." Anyway, that's number three. Number Four: "If you will NOT make someone else responsible for your results, then I will promise I will NOT do any of this for you." Now, that one might sound a little weird. Let me just explain that one: If you will not make someone else responsible for your results - which means you own every success and every failure. Every time you did not do what you were suppose to that day. Does that make sense? I need people to understand this one. You are responsible for everything that happens in your life - even if you actually weren't responsible for it. Even if it wasn't a responsibility of yours to bear. I can't remember, there was some situation that happened here at our home. Was it my responsibility in the first place? No, but I took responsibility. I was trying to take responsibility for anything: "No, yeah, that's totally my bad." Yeah, oh we had to cancel pictures 'cause it was raining, that wasn't it, but I'm just thinking... "Oh man, that sucks. Yeah, I should have looked at the weather." Wasn't my fault freaking rain came out. But, it's extreme ownership. There's a good book called Extreme Ownership, it talks about this kind of concept, and if you come in with extreme ownership, I promise to NOT do it for you. That's a huge one. Most of the time I see a lot of the coaches just so that they can help get results for the individual, they will actually go and start doing the task for the student. And the problem with that is that when the coach leaves, the student has not learned how to go through that mental jog on their own. So, anyways, Number four, it's actually a big blessing as well. Number Five: "If you'll be polite to your naysayers, then I agree to make a safe house for you." I'm not here to belittle people. I'm not here to just shove down, "Man, you suck, you suck." I hate that, that's not my style at all. I'm real. I'm honest, I'm open, but I'm also a safe haven. And so that's part of what I come to people's relationships with when I start doing coaching for them (or any kind of consulting). I should say coaching/ consulting contract, not just coaching. Anyway... Okay, naysayers are actually a catalyst for you, NOT a hindrance. When they come in, they're a natural byproduct of anyone who's actually in motion. Naysayers are a natural byproduct of anybody who's in motion. And so WHEN they come to you... "WHEN," NOT "IF"... When they come to you, and they start saying things like, "I don't think you can do that. Isn't that risky? Why don't you just get a job?" I've heard that one a ton: "Why don't you just get a job?" You just go to them, and you just pat their little heads, and you say "Ah, bless you, my small minded person." And just walk on. It’s a test when somebody says that to you, and you do not go nuts on them. I did that, and I made that mistake for a while. At the beginning of this game, too much of my personal value was hindered on what I thought other people thought of me - and that was not correct. Number Six: "If you will only compare you to you, then I will only compare you to you." This is a fascinating one. One of the biggest reasons I see that people fail in any kind of game ever that they go play. Meaning, in business, entrepreneurship or anything, is that they start comparing themselves to somebody else. Now, you can use the results of an individual to motivate you. But do NOT ever base your self-worth on the results of somebody else. When you start to do that, you are actually basing your self-worth on a ideals. And the issue with that is that ideals change with every moment. Every blink of the eye, the ideal has changed. So, it's like pop culture. You can't define what it is to be cool in pop culture, because it changes every single freaking minute. And then when someone says "Well, I'm not cool..." The problem with it is that there's no way to measure progress because it changes all the time. So there's no way to measure progress. Instead, if the person just measures themselves against themselves - their history - their past - and where they've come from - it's an accelerant. It's an accelerant and they go nuts. They sprint forward like crazy. They can look up, they can look up, and they can see, "Oh crap! Check it out. Oh, that's so cool. That guy's done that. I wanna do that." And then they put their head down, and they only compare them to them - and where they were yesterday. That's the only competition you really have. It's YOU against YOU "yesterday." It's YOU "today" versus YOU "yesterday" - that's the only competition that's really there. And when you base your sense of self-worth on that rather than where somebody else is, "Oh man," I've noticed that really speeds people along in the process in general. Hey, wish you could geek out with other real funnel builders, and even ask questions while I build funnels live? Oh oh, wish granted... Watch and learn funnel building as I document my process in my funnel strategy group. It's free, just go to the scienceofsellingonline and join now.

SFR 189: How I Built My RSVP Funnel...

Sales Funnel Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 6, 2018 26:15

Boom, what's goin' on everyone. It's Steve Larsen, and this is Sale Funnel Radio. Today, I'm gonna teach you guys about my RSVP funnel. I've spent the last four years learning from the most brilliant marketers today. And now I've left my nine to five to take the plunge and build my million dollar business. The real question is, how will I do it without VC funding or debt, completely from scratch? This podcast is here to give you the answer. Join me and follow along as I learn, apply, and share marketing strategies to grow my online business using only today's best internet sales funnels. My name is Steve Larsen and welcome to Sales Funnel Radio. Alright guys, hey! Now technically there's not really an RSVP funnel that exists. But what I wanted to do, is I wanna walk you guys through the process that I went through to actually grab all these people who are coming to my event, The OfferMind and actually get them to RSVP, get a ticket, and the process behind it. So what I decided to do, when we were doing that 30-day book series or the 30-day book launch, alright, (you still can get it 30days.com/stephen) During a certain amount of time, if you got the book I gave you a free ticket to my OfferMind which is coming up very soon. I'm super excited about all of it, holy crap. I'm deep in the woods right now doing the 30-day challenge with Russell. It's been fun to see you guys in there, and I really appreciate you guys being inside of that. But in the midst of everything that's going on I've also been preparing for OfferMind. Right now we have over 150 people who are coming - which is very, very exciting. So we've been creating this event in the middle of me doing this stuff with Russell and the One Funnel Away Challenge, and it's been a bunch of fun. So anyway, I wanna cut over to a Facebook Live where I showed the strategy behind creating this little RSVP funnel. Basically how I built it; so I draw it out and then actually show the actual pages and kinda go back and forth to the audience a little bit with some questions. I think it'll be really helpful because this funnel doesn't exist. I'm not funnel hacking an RSVP funnel from somebody else. The game is far more malleable than people might think it is. As soon as you understand the big Lego blocks, as soon as you understand the pieces... I've always imagined funnel building as like adult Legos. And I can take a piece out. I can move it and put it over there, and as long as these pieces are compatible, boom, I can sink it on and it'll be awesome. I kind of made up a funnel for the purpose that I needed it for and what I wanted to do. What's kind of unique about this episode is, I wanted to show ya that I do this a lot, but I've never really shown that. I never really realized I've never shown that. So anyways, it's not a sales funnel. This is more of a fulfillment funnel, right. And so, there are still sales that are collected in there, but it's not the purpose of it. And so I wanna show you guys how I kind of created the funnel for the purpose that I needed something for. So anyway, I think it'll be great, I think it'll be a lot of fun for you to see how I did that. We'll cut on over, I think the first thing in there, I'm being a goofball listening to music but anyway, watch how I draw it out. First thing I do is a write down exactly what I'm trying to figure out. And then I put pages together to be able to map out a funnel and that's what I built and that's what you'll see. So anyways, guys thanks so much. If you guys go to OfferMind.com, it is not what you are about to see in this video - since then I’ve changed it into a sales funnel to sell event tickets. So anyway, guys thanks so much. We'll cut on over there, I hope you enjoy it, bye. ♪ Bam-Ba-Lam Whoa, Black Betty ♪ ♪ Bam-Ba-Lam Whoa, Black Betty ♪ Alright, we were listening to a different song a second ago and it's the wrong song to go live to, you know what I'm sayin. So anyway, gotta look at the camera over here. Hey, what's up guys, I'm super excited. I get to actually tell you guys a little bit about The OfferMind and how to make sure you get your ticket. This is good stuff right here. (Answering FB Comments)“What's up, Amy Farmer, wow, how's it goin?” “Christopher Voss, which by the way, I just opened your package which is absolutely hilarious. Check this thing out everyone, this is hilarious. That thing is huge. It's massive. I have every shape and size I could ever hope for with it too. That's funny. I'm gonna save that. I'm gonna save that and. I don't know I think I might put that in the actual OfferMind room. I guess I'll put it on the doors. We're gonna put it on the doors, Christopher Voss, that's awesome.” What's up! Okay, I am super excited for this, I was supposed to get this out yesterday. I worked on it the second half of the day, and then my wife came in and started knocking and she was like, “Hey, you're supposed to be at the dentist.” And I was like “Oh, crap!” So I ran to the dentist. The receptionist acted like she had to go check to see if there was space for me and then when the dental hygienist walked around the corner to take me back she was like, “Uh yeah, this is super slow, you coulda walked in at any time.” And basically, the receptionist was being kind of a jerk to my wife. Anyways kind of a funny story, anyway. Hey, so it didn't get out yesterday. So I just finished it. Now one thing, I just wanna teach you guys somethin' real quick here, okay. Before I actually dive in and show you guys how to get your free ticket. For those of you guys who bought your book through my link. An absolute unanatomical butt ton of you have been reaching out, (that's a technical term), asking if you can buy a ticket and the answer is “No, not right now.” Let me get my whiteboard. We went and we rented this room, We rented this room that was a 150 person space room and I was like, “This is super cool, I bet we'll have maybe 50, maybe 100 people.” Okay, I sold 375 books. That's a lot of tickets! I was like, “We gotta double the size of the room.” And then 'cause I know some of you guys are International and you don't want to make the trip over (and I totally get it) I said I'd give you guys the recordings. (Goes to Whiteboard) Okay, now the funnel that I just built is not in the Funnel Hacker Cookbook. The Funnel Hacker Cookbook is fantastic. This is a fantastic book. It’ll shortcut a lot of the learning time on what funnels work in what scenarios. However, you have to understand that when I say that I build 500 funnels when I worked at ClickFunnels, that's true - but only maybe 100 of those were actual revenue funnels. A lot of them were more what I call fulfillment funnels. A fulfillment funnel is something that can be used internally. It's kind of like what I just created right now. So when I create a funnel that doesn't exist, there are not many people I can funnel hack. You have to think of this scenario that I'm in right now. I created an event funnel, but it's not actually a standard event funnel. This is the hard part. Yesterday, I had to think through how to actually design this thing. When you think 'em through, you think through what the main objective is. In this case, I need people to RSVP. That's the main objective. I need people to RSVP because we are negotiating back and forth with the actual event person to extend the actual size of the room. Ya know what I'm sayin'? It's been a bunch of fun. Anyway, it's been a bunch of fun. It's not necessarily to sell tickets, I just need people to RSVP. Holy crap guys, tons of people have been asking to buy tickets. Lot of people at ClickFunnels. ClickFunnels execs, which is really fun. There might be several surprise ClickFunnels people there which is very, very cool. They've been asking, “Hey maybe I could swing in.” I was like, “Absolutely!” I'm not gonna charge 'em, relationship-wise why would I? I'm just, “Yeah, dude, come on by.” Right, you know what I'm sayin’! Anyway, there are two things I need to do here… Some of you guys want extra time with me, so there's the option to do that. On the second night, there's gonna be a private VIP dinner where we can just hang out and network, and you guys can ask any question that you want, little more of an intimate setting - that'll be cool. There is the, oh, did you guys see, I haven't shown you guys the shirts yet, the Capitalist Pig shirts I went and got created - super stoked for those. So many fun things are going on. So two things that I'm trying to get done here. There are two objectives. #Number one if you got a ticket, if you got the book through my link, I need you to RSVP in general. #Second thing though, is if you want to upgrade to a VIP, so you can sit close. (Phone Rings:) “Stupid phone calls, I freakin' hate 'em.” I never answer my phone! Don't ever try and call me, I don't answer for anybody except my wife. Even then she and I Vox. Anyway, so of course, I'm the offer creation guy. There's a specific offer around becoming a VIP in general. But think about what I'm trying to do with this. The funnel that I'm creating… Good funnels have one objective, that's the reason a funnel works. Each page has its own specific focus. Each page, just one thing. The thing that makes something turn from a funnel back into a website is when you have multiple exits from a page. A funnel works because it’s a funnel - there's only one way to progress forward. There's only one way to move on. So what I created was kind of a hybrid between a website and a funnel at the same time. Does that make sense? So think about this for a second... And this is one of the reasons why so many people whose funnel will not do well... They will create too many exits inside of their funnels. Here I have two objectives: #Number one: I need everybody to come through and RSVP. #Number two: Then some of you guys, if you want more of my time while you're here, you can upgrade to a VIP ticket. So there needs to be some kind of a breakout. Does that make sense? So when I go through this and I'm actually creating and designing something that hasn't existed before, what's I'll do is I'll take elements inside of the Funnel Hacker Cookbook - I helped to write a lot of this, but I don't open this up anymore... but what I'll do is I'll go through and I'll think through, “Okay I need a page to do this... I need a page to do that... I need a page for this…” and I will design and I will make up a funnel as I go. I've done this many times. So the first page, what I did is I created a page that said, “Hey, check it out, you got two options here. Number one you could just straight up RSVP, or number two you can upgrade to VIP.” There are two buttons below the video. The first button says, “Hey, Stephen I don't want to upgrade, just give me my RSVP ticket.” I'm like, it's totally fine, understand that you're not going to sit towards the front, that's okay.... When you RSVP through this funnel, I encourage you to RSVP slowly so you can see what I did with this. I did not just slap together a page. This is a full funnel that I've built in the last 36 hours. So this is the first page, and I built it as a sales page. That means ClickFunnels is not looking for data on it. Does that make sense? If it's opt-in page, and there's not an email form on the page, sometimes that can trip out of the ClickFunnels editor. So I build it as a sales page because there's no requirement. It's literally a shell. I can put whatever I want in there, and I can direct people wherever I want to. Does that make sense? So this first page is just a “sales page” page type. It's a sales page. I'm gonna walk you guys through the actual funnel here in just a second here. So stick with me for just a second. The next page, here's the VIP upgrade - this is an order form page type. Now that means that ClickFunnels is gonna look for credit card details. It's gonna look for email contacts. All profiles inside of ClickFunnels are email based. All contacts are email based inside of ClickFunnels. If there's not an email, the contact profile does not exist so I have to make sure that it has those kinds of things in there so it's like, “Sweet.” Then after that, there's a thank you page, just merely to confirm the fact that the purchase has gone through. It always makes me a little nervous whenever it skips those pages. You can do it without it, but I always like to. Anyway, right, here is the order confirmation page. And then after that is the RSVP page. So what I did is I said, “Check this out, if you want to upgrade to VIP, all you do is you click here” and it will shoot you straight over to this page right here. You'll just go right over. If you click this button though, it’ll sidestep the actual payment step and shoot you right over here. When you do upgrade though, there's an email that gets sent out. Again pushes ya right back to the RSVP page. All roads lead to this RSVP form. And then I was like, you know what, I could use a software like Eventbrite. I could integrate with that. Eventbrite or EventDay, they are great software for events - especially when they get kind of biggish like this one. But instead, let's just use Zapier. So what I did is I set up a Zap so that there are two different Zap inputs. I'm just telling you guys the structure of how I built this so you can guys can see more of how I pulled it off. So if this Google Sheets, there's two Sheets that are goin' on. The first Sheet is I need to be able to collect and separate out just those who upgraded to VIP. So there's a Zap, a Zapier. And whenever you upgrade on this page right here, it goes into a specific tab. There are two different tabs - so it's the same Google Sheet, one tab is the VIP people, and one tab is the standard RSVP people. So one side, upgrades right there. And it shows all the data right there. That's awesome because I am making you guys t-shirts. I'm making you swag. We're getting lots of crazy cool stuff. I hate crappy swag, I hate cheap swag. That's one spot. So this one tab inside right here that's just VIP. That's comin' right over here from this upgrade piece. There's a second tab though. I'll put it on this side of here just so you guys can, so you guys can see better. “All funnel building is with crappy drawings on a whiteboard. And very imperfect boxes.” The second one though is from this - it's a Wufoo form. Honestly, I didn't need the Wufoo form. I could use something else. I just made it because it's super fast. You can use the standard input fields inside of ClickFunnels, but there are a few things that I really like about Woo-fu. It's so fast, so anyway. So what I did is as soon as you fill out this RSVP form, and I tell you, “Look, I'm gonna ask your t-shirt size.” That also sends to the same Google Sheet, but just on a different tab. Does that make sense? That way I have gone Google Sheet where I can look up everybody's information, their name, their email, when they bought, what time they bought - meaning the book. Have they been verified? Meaning did I verify the fact that they actually did get a book through my 30-day link, or are they trying to be sneaky and get on in... We're gonna not allow that obviously. This event is pretty packed already. So anyways, if somebody shows up without a ticket, we can't accept you. You'll get turned away at the door. But anyway, it's exciting, very very exciting. She's like, “Well I think we can extend the room to maybe like 300.” I was like, “Lady, there are 386 confirmed tickets.” Alright, this is big, right, it's huge. I just barely got Russell's AV team, the same one that sets up the 2 Comma Club Coaching events and the Funnel Hacking Live events - you know like the stage. Man, when you walk into a stage at an event room, you need to go to a different place. It should transport you mentally to a different state the moment you walk in. I hate crappy event setups. So if you guys have been listening and paying attention to me at all, I always teach with affiliate cash that's straight affiliate cash. Never take profit from it. I take all affiliate cash and I dump it right into something else so the asset creates an asset. So this is a lot of cash that this affiliate thing pulled in, which is awesome. It means I can afford to hire the really really expensive extremely nice stage setup, very nice AV, incredible videographers. And this is exactly what I'm goin' for. So I'm excited to have you guys. So if you are interested in it at all, I'm excited, I'd love to have you guys if you wanna upgrade to VIP. I just want to show you guys how the whole thing works. So now I'm actually gonna move over to my computer here… And because we're at Funnel Hackers and I teach you guys how to funnel hack, I did take a piece of paper and tape it to the top of the URL so you don't try and sneak on there ;-) Shortly, like immediately after this video ends, I'm gonna email all you guys who bought the books through my link. I'll send you guys this RSVP funnel. It's basically an RSVP funnel. It's not necessarily an event funnel, but I have all the details in there. It'll have all the pieces that you guys need. It'll have where it is, the times, the dates. At the bottom, there's always an FAQ section. Anyway, what I wanna do real quick is let me flip the camera and I'm gonna walk you guys through the actual funnel so you guys can see it. Now that you saw the layout, now you saw the draw out of it on that whiteboard of what it looks like and what's happening and what's going on. Now you guys actually can see the funnel. Check this out. Alright cool. This is the OfferMind. You guys like that with a piece of paper on the top? I know you... Because you're like me! ;-) (Replying to FB Comments) “Alright. What does that weigh? The same as a crap ton? Yeah, an anatomical butt ton is about the same amount as a crap ton. Exactly right, Dan.” Alright, so this first video is incredible. Anyways super cool. “Discover what offer and sales message your market has been asking to pay you for.” This is a different way to think about this whole game. This stuff I'm gonna share with you guys, no one teaches it. It's not in like, it's not in a book. Someone was asking me like, “Stephen where'd you learn all your stuff for your offer stuff?” I was like, “Well I've coached 18,000 people in the process, built 500 funnels and tons of millionaires have been created because of it.” You see what I'm sayin'? I'll just stand in front of a anyway. I don't know a book. That's why I'm writing a book. Anyway, this video is fantastic. I encourage you to watch it. (Video on the 1st page) Reading The Copy: “Thank you for buying the 30 Days book through my link. You have a limited time to RSVP.” It's because we need time to get your swag. You have to RSVP by the end of Sunday at midnight or I can't keep your free ticket. You understand? Does that make sense? Meaning I'm saying, I'll be forced to just send you the recordings. I encourage you to come to the event. There's something about being in a room that has changed my life. I love going to events. Here's all the details, “who, what, where, when, why, how, where it is.” Here's those two buttons I'm talkin' about. Look I don't wanna upgrade. You're like, alright. Or you're like hey yeah, I do wanna upgrade. I'll there in a second. What's your gonna get. Of course, I'm gonna make this. I am the Offer Creation guy. It's VIP has its own, anyway. It's got its own offer. What you get: The private networking dinner with me on the second night. Location, time to be determined. And I'll tell you guys exactly why that is (That's a strategic reason) in the future. You'll be the first to get the event recordings as well. The paparazzi wall picture with me. Guys, there's gonna be like three or four hundred people there. And I want you to be there. I'm really excited to have you, anyway. I'm pumped to have you. If you're VIP though, I can guarantee that we'll be able to take pictures and spend some extra time together. If you're not, I can't guarantee it. I'm not saying I won't, but it's just a lot, it's a lot of people. It's only me on stage for two days. I'm used to doing them okay. The FHAT event was three days, pretty much just with me the entire time. I'm not nervous about the energy output - usually, the audience gets tired before I do. But anyway, to upgrade it's 197. There are only 60 VIP places available. That's how the room is going to be set up. It's not a hoax. There are 60 spots. And anyway, a little bit more on why I'm doing what I am. And then I've got a whole bunch of testimonials in here. Now people ask me a lot of times, they're like, “Stephen, what if I'm launching something that I've never done before and I don't have any testimonials.” I get it, have I done an OfferMind before? No, I haven't. FB COMMENT: “Can I have the link to this funnel?” No, I will email those people who bought the book through my link. They are the ones who are getting this funnel. We're not opening up public purchases for tickets because there's literally no space. It depends on how many people who bought the book don't RSVP. So that's why you have to RSVP by the end of this Sunday night because every messaging platform is exploding right now, “Stephen, I didn't buy it, can I still get the ticket? Can I still come to the event, can I still come to the event?” Like, “No, it's a spacing issue. Literally, it's a fire marshal issue at this point.” It's gonna be super fun, I'm so excited about it. I'm naturally an introvert. Events for some reason with people like you guys, I get excited about. But anyway, this will be a bunch of fun, so anyways. So no I can't give you the link, I'm not gonna, that's why the paper's there so you can't find the link. But some people have asked me like, “Stephen, what do you do when when you are selling something that you don't have specific testimonials for?” What you do is you switch the question. And the question is, “What is it like to work with Stephen?” Or “What is it like to learn from him on other courses?” And that, you can get testimonials around. Check this out. Alright, so these are all videos, each one of these specifically, just super cool... Hey, I need more women testimonials. Look these are all guys! That's why I put the one up here. She, this is amazing, oh my gosh, the one from Angela, this is absolutely incredible. I kinda have a lot of guys in here which is awesome. Fellas, you're looking great - but the women tend to sell that a little bit more. FB COMMENT: “No. You're definitely not an introvert!” Not in front of you. In front of everyone else, I definitely am. Still not convinced? So some of us like to go consume testimonials, not through video. This is awesome. “Highest gratitude, Steve Larsen.” Check this out, this guy, he went and he got, anyway, this guy did 30 grand his first shot with it. FB COMMENT: “I found the secret link, Steve. Sorry, but I'll keep the secret, not gonna give it away.” Cool. We're gonna verify everything because it's not fair that people actually did get my the book through my link if someone sneaks in, you know what I mean. So anyway... HEADLINE: “What Are You Most Excited For?” Then I pulled in other comments people are excited about. And down at the bottom, I took a page from the lesson and the book of Funnel Hacking Live, and I went and I grabbed both FAQ topics from Funnel Hacking Live to make sure I hit all the topics that they use. And then all the topics from Dana Derricks, tons of them, you know what I mean. So anyway, cool. Sweet, so that's it. So that's the first page. So you're gonna come up here, and any one of these like, “Yeah I wanna upgrade” or whatever. Right, it shoots you back up here to the top, one of these. So you say, “Hey, let me upgrade.” Right if you go, let me go upgrade, it will come right here. And you come in and like the 60 spots available. I'm gonna shut that off afterward. Any way you fill it out, it's super simple, especially an event funnel guys, it's like the FAQ section is important to have on the bottom of literally every single page. That's a super, super key thing there. Anyway, here's the next page afterward. “Boom! Welcome to OfferMind VIP.” Now, these are simple pages. The first page is always the hardest one to create. It's the one I spent literally an entire day on. Here's RSVP form, check that out. Yeah, there's the Capitalist Pig shirts! When you guys show up, I will give you guys the Capitalist Pig shirt which I'm super stoked about it. I went and I got one created. It's actually Russell's designer that got it all set up which is super cool. He designed it and put it all together and I've got the same printer that ClickFunnels uses for their shirts as well which is awesome. So anyway. It's cool! I bought capitalistpigshirts.com. In the future, I'll sell 'em like out there and stuff and we'll do swag drops and stuff like that. But for right now I'm not gonna be able to do that. And then if you're VIP I'm giving you guys an “It's Monday Baby!” shirt which we're designing right now which look so cool - so anyway. That's just for VIPs though. Anyways, guys, there's a bunch of other stuff as well… I just wanted to deep dive real fast, or shallow dive I guess, into what I'm doing on there. So when you go in and start looking at the page, make sure you look at, I want you to see like what I did. Does an RSVP funnel exist? Not really, but what I'm trying to say is that this game is far more fluid when you understand the marketing behind what makes things work. I was very afraid to do anything outside the mold of funnel building when I first started funnels. Three or four years ago I was like, “Well that's, this page here, didn't exist before. Or over here, this element is different than the one they had. It's not gonna work.” Like “No, No, No, No!” We need to understand what's really happening behind it. This game's far more fluid than you might expect. Boom! f you're just starting out, you're probably studying a lot. That's good. You're probably geeking out on all the strategies also, right. That's also good. But the hardest part is figuring out what the market wants to buy and how you should sell it to them. That's what I struggled with for a while until I learned the formula. So I created a special mastermind called an OfferMind to get you on track with the right offer and more importantly the right sales script to get it off the ground and sell it. Wanna come? The small groups are on purpose so I can answer your direct questions in person for two straight days. You can hold your spot by going to offermind.com. Again that's offermind.com.