Unsuitable with MaryB. Safrit

Today, Karen González and I talk about practicing generosity without a savior complex. Karen González (she/her) is a speaker, writer, storyteller, and immigrant advocate, who herself immigrated from Guatemala as a child. Karen is a former public school teacher and attended Fuller Theological Seminary, where she studied theology and missiology. For the last 17 years, she has been a non-profit professional. She wrote a book about her own immigration story and some of the immigrants found in the Bible: The God Who Sees: Immigrants, The Bible, and the Journey to Belong (Herald Press, May 2019). Karen's second book is Beyond Welcome: Centering Immigrants in our Christian Response to Immigration (Brazos Press, October 2022). She also has bylines in Sojourners, Christianity Today, The Christian Century, and others. Karen lives in Washington DC with her cats, Oscar and Trudi.You can follow Karen on Instagram @_karenjgonzalez. Her books, Beyond Welcome and The God Who Sees, are available wherever you get books. Here's the link to the Substack piece Karen and I discussed at the top of the episode, "At Home in My Country." Join the Found Family crew over on Substack and get your Found Family Cheat Sheet! Support the show

Today, Matt Nightingale and I talk about why we need queer only spaces for spiritual conversations. Matt Nightingale (he/him) is a pastor, musician, speaker, writer, and spiritual director from San Francisco's North Bay Area. He is the founder and executive director of Common Sanctuary, and co-pastor of a progressive American Baptist church called The Quest.As a gay Christian, Matt is passionate about the intersection of sexuality and spirituality, and he works to create safe, sacred spaces for people exploring these identities. His TEDx talk, “Choosing Gratitude and Hope,” with his former wife, Luanne Nightingale, tells their story of a mixed-orientation marriage, an evolving understanding of faith and sexuality, and the choice to divorce with gratitude and hope.Matt is the husband of Alejandro and the father of four adult children. You can find Matt on socials @mattnightingale. Check out all the resources Matt mentioned on his website, mattnightingale.com, and commonsanctuary.org. Join the Found Family crew on Substack and get the Found Family Cheat Sheet! Support the show

Today, Eugene Kim and I talk about practicing mutuality in church communities.  Eugene is an ordained minister with over 25 years of experience in local church ministry. However, recognizing the need to rethink traditional models, he discerned the need to step beyond the familiar in order to reimagine how we do “church” from the ground up. So, Eugene left his pastoral role in 2020 and founded New Wine Collective—a church innovation think tank and R&D lab. Eugene's passions lie in systemic change and designing new ways of being the Church that can help heal the world and give everyone a place to belong. He currently serves as Executive Director of the Wild Fig Network, an emerging relational network for ministers and ministries looking for an alternative to traditional denominational structures.  Eugene grew up in Queens, NY and Seoul, Korea, and now lives in the Boston area. He loves hanging out with his three children, cooking and enjoying good food, and watching Korean dramas with his wife. You can find Wild Fig at wildfig.org. Connect with Eugene on socials @eugenekim. Join the Found Family crew on Substack and get your copy of the Found Family Cheat Sheet! Support the show

Today, Cara Meredith and I talk about what church camp gets right (and wrong) about community.Cara Meredith is the author of Church Camp: Bad Skits, Cry Night, and How White Evangelicalism Betrayed a Generation (Broadleaf Books, 2025). She is also a sought-after speaker, public theologian, and development director who found home at a church camp in the Santa Cruz Mountains. After serving in various roles, she continued as a speaker for two decades at camps up and down the West Coast. With a master of theology (Fuller Seminary) and a background in education and nonprofit work, she is also the author of The Color of Life. Her writing has been featured in national media outlets such as The Oregonian, The New York Times, The Christian Century, and Christianity Today, among others. She lives with her family in Oakland, California.  Church Camp comes out April 29 and is available wherever you buy books. You can follow Cara on socials @carameredithwrites. Check out her Substack and her website, carameredith.com. Join the Found Family crew over on Substack and get your free Found Family Cheat Sheet! Support the show

Today, Rohadi Nagassar and I talk about the challenges of creating the belonging we crave. Rohadi is a writer predominantly engaging the topics of decolonizing and deconstructing Christianity. Discover Rohadi's latest book, “When We Belong. Reclaiming Christianity on the Margins.” His podcast on decolonizing Christianity is called: Faith in a Fresh Vibe. Season 11 is now available entitled, “Farewell Evangelicalism”. Rohadi has planted three churches including an online church he co-leads called A Beautiful Table. He has also written extensively in the areas of missions and church leadership, including his book, “Thrive. Ideas to lead the church in post-Christendom”. Follow Rohadi on socials @rohadi.nagassar. Join the Found Family crew over on Substack and get your free Found Family Cheat Sheet!Support the show

CW: spiritual abuseToday, Aimee Byrd and I talk about finding the courage to admit we were wrong. Aimee (she/her) is an author, speaker, blogger, podcaster and former coffee shop owner. Aimee is the author of several books, including Saving Face, The Hope in Our Scars, Recovering from Biblical Manhood and Womanhood and Sexual Reformation. Her articles have appeared in First Things, Table Talk, Modern Reformation, By Faith, New Horizons, Ordained Servant, Harvest USA, and Credo Magazine, and she has been interviewed and quoted in Christianity Today and The Atlantic.As a heads up, we discuss Aimee's experience of spiritual abuse. If that's a tender topic for you, please take care while listening.NAMI Helpline: call 1-800-950-6264 or text "helpline" to 62640. Saving Face is available today wherever books are sold. Check out her Substack at byrdinyourbox.substack.com. Join the Found Family crew over on Substack and get the Found Family Cheat Sheet absolutely free! Support the show

Today, Shannon TL Kearns and I talk about the complex journey to understand masculinityA former fundamentalist who became the first openly transgender man ordained to the Old Catholic priesthood, Shannon TL Kearns believes in the transformative power of story. As an ordained priest, a playwright, a theologian, and a writer, all of his work revolves around making meaning through story. He is the co-founder of QueerTheology.com. His first book is In the Margins: A Transgender Man's Journey With Scripture. He has three books forthcoming: No One Taught Me How To Be A Man: What a trans man's experience reveals about masculinity, Come and See: A Youth Devotional, and Reading the Bible Through Queer Eyes (co-written with Brian G. Murphy).Shannon was a Humanitas New Voices Fellow for 2022 and was a recipient of the Playwrights' Center Jerome Fellowship in 20/21 and he was a Lambda Literary Fellow for 2019 (in playwriting) and 2022 (in screenwriting) and a Finnovation Fellow for 2019/2020. He is a sought after speaker on transgender issues and religion as well as a skilled facilitator of a variety of workshops. You can follow Shannon on all the socials @shannontlkearns. Preorder No One Taught Me How To Be a Man wherever you buy books. You can join Shannon's newsletter crew on his website, shannontlkearns.comSupport the show

Today, Tracey Gee and I talk about the unexpected vulnerability of naming what we want. Tracey Gee is a certified leadership coach and consultant dedicated to guiding individuals toward transformative self-awareness and meaningful personal and professional growth. As an author, Tracey draws insight from her extensive experience across workshops, speaking engagements, and personalized coaching sessions. She is also a certified facilitator in four frameworks—Gallup CliftonStrengths, Working Genius, Enneagram, and Cultural Intelligence. Her diverse clientele includes UC Berkeley, Firm Foundation, AltaMed, Nomi Network, Coca-Cola, Amazon, and the Miami Heat. Tracey is originally from the Bay Area of California and now lives in Los Angeles with her husband, children, and dog, Kona. She loves coffee shops and every dog she's ever met.You can buy The Magic of Knowing What You Want wherever you get books. Follow Tracey on Instagram @traceygee.me. Get her freebie at the link in her Insta bio or click on the link in the episode description. Quick note: During the interview, I mention a phrase without giving proper credit for where it came from. I borrowed the phrase "background work" from Devi Abraham, writer and co-host of the Where Do We Go From Here podcast. You can follow her on IG here and check out her podcast wherever you listen. Support the show

Today, Scott and I talk about his journey out of Christian higher education.Scott Okamoto is a 4th generation Japanese American (sansei) writer, musician, and podcaster. He grew up in a conservative evangelical household but found his way out while teaching English at Azusa Pacific University, a conservative evangelical school. He has since dedicated his work to helping people deconstruct and decolonize from that world as a podcaster (Chapel Probation), musician (Axis Mundia Media), and writer, (Asian American Apostate). He currently lives in Pasadena, California.Find Scott on Substack. His piece "The Irresistible Allure of Whiteness in Deconstruction" is linked here. Chapel Probation and The Horny Chapel are available wherever you get your podcasts. Get your copy of Asian American Apostate wherever you get books! Support the show

Today, Brandan Robertson and I talk about navigating the spectrum of queer faith in community. Rev. Brandan Robertson is a noted author, activist, and public theologian, dedicated to exploring the intersections of spirituality, sexuality, and social justice. He serves as the Pastor of Sunnyside Reformed Church in New York City and is the founder and Executive Director of The Devout Foundation. Known as the "TikTok Pastor," Robertson's inclusive theological content reaches over 250,000 followers and has garnered 6 million views. He has authored 23 books, including the INDIES Book of the Year finalist True Inclusion. His work has been featured in TIME Magazine, CNN, and The Washington Post. Robertson is a sought-after speaker who regularly presents at prestigious platforms like The White House and Oxford University, continuing to inspire and challenge audiences around the world. Robertson acquired a Bachelor of Arts in Pastoral Ministry and Biblical Studies from Moody Bible Institute, a Master of Theological Study from Iliff School of Theology, and a Master of Arts in Political Science and Public Administration from Eastern Illinois University. He's presently pursuing a PhD in Biblical Studies at Drew University. He currently resides in New York City.You can follow Brandon on TikTok @revbrandanrobertson and on IG @brandanrobertson. Pre-order Queer & Christian at queerchristian.org or wherever you buy books! Check out all of Brandan's resources and links on his website, brandanrobertson.comJoin the Found Family crew over on Substack and get your copy of the Found Family Cheat Sheet! Support the show

Today, Ashley and I talk about finding community that fuels you. Ashley Nadine Lopez is the founder of Life Curious Women, a thriving platform empowering millennial and Gen Z women leaders to build confidence, pursue their passions, and live purpose-driven lives. As an on-camera actor, podcast host, speaker and advocate for holistic personal growth, she blends storytelling with actionable strategies to inspire women to embrace their multifaceted journeys. With her signature formula for discovering purpose, Ashley guides her community to connect with themselves, expand their horizons, and take bold steps toward transformation.You can find Ashley on Instagram and TikTok @ashleynadinelopez. Listen to Life Curious Women wherever you get your podcasts and follow @lifecuriouswomen on IG and TikTok so you can get connected and find out about the Momentum Collective and in person events. Join the Found Family crew on Substack and get the Found Family Cheat Sheet for free! Support the show

Today, Jenai Auman and I talk about reclaiming our agency after experiencing othering and religious trauma. Jenai Auman (she/her) is a Filipina American writer, artist, and author of Othered. She draws from her years in church leadership as well as her trauma-informed training to write on healing and holistic spiritual formation. She received her bachelor's degree in behavioral health science and is currently pursuing a master's in spiritual formation at Northeastern Seminary. You can follow Jenai on IG and Threads @jenaiauman. Grab your copy of Othered wherever you buy books! Get your Found Family Cheat Sheet and create the belonging you've always wanted. Available when you join the Found Family crew over on Substack. Support the show

Today, Ian Morgan Cron and I talk about why the twelve steps are for everyone.Ian is a bestselling author, psychotherapist, Enneagram teacher, Episcopal priest, and the host of the popular podcast Typology. His books include the Enneagram primer The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery, which has sold over one million copies and his newest book, The Fix: How the Twelve Steps Offer a Surprising Path of Transformation for the Well-Adjusted, the Down-and-Out and Everyone In Between. You can follow Ian on social media @ianmorgancron. The Fix releases next week, January 28, so make sure to preorder wherever you buy books! Check out Ian's podcast, Typology, wherever you listen. Join the Found Family crew over on Substack! Support the show

CW: Ayana and I discuss some tender topics today, including mental health, pregnancy loss, and postpartum psychosis. If you are struggling, please reach out to a hotline such as the NAMI Helpline (1-800-950-6264) or a trusted mental health professional. If you are in extreme distress, please seek immediate medical care.  Today, Ayana Lage and I talk about Ayana's journey back to herself after experiencing postpartum psychosis.Ayana Lage (she/her/hers) is a lifestyle writer who covers mental health, social justice, and maternal health inequities on her own platforms and for publications including Allure, Cosmopolitan and Bustle. Ayana lives in Tampa, Florida with her husband and two children. You can follow Ayana on Instagram @ayanagabriellelage Join the Found Family crew over on Substack! Support the show

Today, Amber Flannery Field (she/her) and I talk about the journey from nihilism to hopeful action and community.Amber is a New York City tour guide. New York Magazine named her among their "things we love about New York," and CBC Radio called her "the only good tour guide in New York City." She does video essays on race, community, and New York on YouTube, and TikTok can be found on both platforms @AmericasComic. Book her Brooklyn Bridge Tour (with yelling) on Airbnb. CW: We have slightly spicier language than usual, including one use of the f slur, which we chose to bleep out. Also, this episode includes some discussion of the death of a child and adoption. Listen with care, pals.Come join the Found Family crew over on Substack!Support the show

Today, Emma Claye (she/her) and I talk about persistence in the midst of rejection. You can follow Emma on social media @emmaclaye. Listen to Emma's music wherever you stream music. Join the Found Family crew on Substack! Support the show

Today, David Jay (he/him) and I discuss how we can push back on the systems that make us feel lonely. Get your copy of Relationality wherever you buy books! Check out resources and all the things at relationalitybook.com. Send David an email with your thoughts and stories at hello@relationalitybook.com. AVEN is still alive and well! Check it out at asexuality.orgJoin the Found Family crew over on Substack! Support the show

Today, Natalie Naudus (she/her) and I talk about the beauty and necessity of queer stories. You can follow Natalie on Instagram, TikTok, and X @natalienaudus. Get your copy of Gay the Pray Away wherever you get books or audiobooks. Get monthly spicy sapphic stories on Natalie and her girlfriend's Patreon, Sapphic Sparks. Join the Found Family Crew on Substack! Support the show

Today, Kat Vellos and I discuss very practical ways to make friends outside of church. You can sign up for Kat's newsletter at weshouldgettogether.com. Here are the links for Kat's blog post, "Organic Friendship 101" and her Platonic Action Lab. (No link? Both are easy to find on her website!) Follow her on IG @katvellos_author.Join the Found Family Crew on Substack so you don't miss exclusive messages and updates.Support the show

It's the week of Thanksgiving! For this solo episode, I'm giving you my best hosting hacks--eight of them, to be specific. After two decades of getting people together, one decade in food service, and a lifetime of inclusive Southern Hospitality, there's a lot I've learned the hard way. This episode gives you eight of them to save you the headache! Join the Found Family Crew on Substack! Support the show

Today, Annie Parsons and I talk about her journey to motherhood while unmarried.You can follow Annie on Instagram @hootenannie Join the Found Family crew on Substack at marybsafrit.substack.com. Support the show

Today, Adam Evers and I talk about the very human world of queer Christian dating, friendship, and community. You can follow Believr on social media @believrapp. Download Believr at believr.app/download. If you have a success story or feedback, shoot Adam an email, adam@believr.app. Join the Found Family crew on Substack. Support the show

Today, I'm talking to GG Renee Hill about how a creative mindset can help us build the lives we want. You can find GG on Instagram @ggreneewrites. Check out her free resources at allthemanylayers.com/ggreneewrites. She's on Linked In as GG Renee Hill. Get free writing prompts by subscribing to her Substack at thelayers.substack.com. Join the Found Family Crew at marybsafrit.substack.com Support the show

In light of the imminent election, I decided to gift y'all the extended cut of my interview with Kaitlyn Schiess from back before our rebrand. It's a dynamite conversation about the importance of community and how mutuality in our community can help combat political overwhelm. Kaitlyn Schiess is a writer, speaker, and theologian. She is the author of The Liturgy of Politics: Spiritual Formation for the Sake of Our Neighbor and is a regular cohost on the Holy Post podcast and hosts Curiously, Kaitlyn. Her writing has appeared in the New York Times, Christianity Today, Christ and Pop Culture, Relevant, and Sojourners. She has a Masters of Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary and is currently a doctoral student in political theology at Duke Divinity School. She lives in Durham, North Carolina. You can follow Kaitlyn on Instagram and Twitter @kaitlynschiess. Snag your copy of The Ballot and The Bible, wherever you buy books--and make sure to rate and review! Join the Found Family crew over on Substack for a free monthly message from MaryB. Support the show

Today, Lilly Dancyger and I talk about all the ways our female friendships teach us how to love. Lilly Dancyger is the author of First Love: Essays on Friendship (The Dial Press, 2024), and Negative Space (SFWP, 2021). She lives in New York City, and is a 2023 NYSCA/NYFA Artist Fellow in nonfiction from The New York Foundation for the Arts. She teaches creative nonfiction in MFA programs at Columbia University and Randolph College. Find Lilly on Instagram at @lillydancyger and Substack at The Word Cave. Join the Found Family crew over on Substack for a free monthly message from MaryB. Support the show

TW: abuse, mention of ex-gay, fatphobiaToday, Haley Osier and I talk about how she went from ex-gay fundamentalist evangelical to an out lesbian singer-songwriter and the album she wrote about it. You can listen to Haley's music wherever you stream. Just search for Haley Osier. Follow Haley on social media @haleyosier. Join the Found Family Substack crew at marybsafrit.substack.com Support the show

Today, Joash Thomas and I talk about liberating faith practices and the systemic barriers that get in the way. Also Chai. We talk about Masala chai quite a bit. Joash Thomas is an international speaker, global human rights leader and justice & liberation theologian. Born and raised in India, Joash ran a political consulting and lobbying firm in the United States before joining the human rights advocacy space. Joash has a master's degree in Political Management from The George Washington University and is currently pursuing a dual master's degree in Christian Leadership & Systematic Theology. An Oblate in the Diocese of St. Anthony, Joash is also the author of ‘A Just Gospel', a forthcoming book in partnership with Brazos Press to be published in Fall 2025. Based in Canada's Greater Toronto Area, Joash can also be found on social media (@JoashPThomas) and Substack (Jesus, Justice & Joash).You can follow Joash on Instagram, Threads, and Twitter/X @joashpthomas. Join Joash's Substack community, Jesus, Justice, and Joash at joashpthomas.substack.comSupport the show

TW: homophobia, transphobia, suicidal thoughtsToday, April Ajoy tells her story of leaving Christian Nationalism. We also dig into what it's like being part of a queer family in the Southeastern US. April is a content creator and podcast host who uses humor to shine light on harmful, toxic, and sometimes just weird traits of American Evangelicalism. After growing up an evangelist's kid entrenched in Christian Nationalism and working in conservative Christian media, she saw the harm caused firsthand. Still a Christian, she uses her platform to expose the dangers of Christian Nationalism while promoting a more inclusive faith. April has been featured on Buzzfeed, CNN, Newsweek and more. She's been married to Beecher for 10 years and they have two daughters together.Please take care while listening, as there is discussion of homophobia, transphobia, and suicidal thoughts. If you're experiencing feelings of hopelessness or depression, please reach out to a trusted counselor or a hotline such as Trans Lifeline, which is 877-565-8860. You can get your copy of Star Spangled Jesus wherever books are sold. Follow April on all social media platforms @aprilajoy. You can hear April on The New Evangelicals podcast every Friday wherever you are listening. Support the show

You're going to be hearing from me today on a topic that's very close to my heart. This episode is for the folks who feel like their church doesn't know what to do with them. Get a FREE sixty-minute coaching session by filling out this interest form! You can follow me on Instagram and TikTok @maryb.safrit. If you enjoyed this episode, I send out a free monthly message just like this one over on Substack. Join the crew at marybsafrit.substack.com. Support the show

Today, you'll hear the story of a theologian who was put on trial for herasy by his denomination for promoting queer affirming theology. Thomas Jay Oord, PhD, is a theologian, philosopher, and scholar of multidisciplinary studies. He is a best-selling and award-winning author, having written or edited 30+ books. Academic Influence ranks him among the most influential theologians of the 21st century. Oord directs a doctoral program at Northwind Theological Seminary and directs the Center for Open and Relational Theology. He is known for his research and writing on love, open and relational theology, science and religion, evil and power, and the implications of freedom and relationships for transformation.You can find Tom on social media @thomasjayoord. His website is thomasjayoord.com. My Defense is available on Amazon, as are all of Tom's books. Support the show

Nina Badzin and I are answering one of the most pressing questions she gets about friendship... plus how to make friends outside your church community, why communication matters so freaking much, and more! Nina Badzin (she/her) is the host of the podcast Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. She's been writing about friendship since 2014, co-leads creative writing groups in Minneapolis, and writes the Substack newsletter Conversations About Friendship. You can find her on Instagram and TikTok at @dearninafriendship. Support the show

Today's episode is a practical, delightful discussion of identity, exploration, confidence, and clothing with a color expert who wants to help you love yourself as you are, no matter who you are. Lindsey Myers (she/her) founded Created Colorful in 2020 while navigating being a new mom. Pouring any energy she had into her kids, Lindsey slowly realized she had nothing left for herself. Hope came crashing into her life once she learned color analysis–a process where each person has a set of colors that objectively flatters them. From there, she was hooked. Through sharing her findings on Instagram, Lindsey quickly was flooded with requests and became a CEO “overnight” when Created Colorful was born. Its goal is to help you love how you naturally look by providing real and honest shopping + styling advice, no matter your size, age, or season of life. Created Colorful's color analysis process works for all skin tones, types and ethnicities—including yours–allowing the brand to help more than 20,000 clients to date find their colors and reignite self-confidence.In this episode, you'll hear Lindsey and I discuss:What is color analysis and why does it matter? The simple test that takes our confidence to the next levelNavigating the surprising vulnerability of letting ourselves be seen when we know we look goodHow our clothes can help us explore and communicate who we are--and find our peopleAnd how to manage the complex negotiation of self-expression and safety. You can follow Lindsey on Instagram @createdcolorful. Check out all her courses and offering on her website createdcolorful.com. Support the Show.

This episode is about why found family matters when the world is on fire. If you're feeling fatigued and prone to isolation when the ish hits the fan, this episode is for you! If you like this episode, you should sign up for my Substack and get a free message like this one delivered to your inbox on the last Tuesday of every month. It's totally free, and there are several pieces you can read while awaiting your next Found Family message. Support the Show.

Today, we're getting super practical for folks who are looking for new pals who might become found family but aren't part of a church community and don't have a million dollars. If you like this episode, you should sign up for my Substack and get a free message like this one delivered to your inbox on the last Tuesday of every month. It's totally free, and there are several pieces you can read while awaiting your next Found Family message.If you have other ideas on how to become a regular, come join the conversation on Instagram or TikTok and follow me @maryb.safrit. Make sure to rate and review so we can hear what you think!Support the Show.

We're taking a break from interviews for the month of July. But don't worry, we have some solo episodes lined up for you! The first is the story of the Sunday I left my former church for the last time and attended Pride for the first time. If you like this episode, you should sign up for my Substack and get a free message like this one delivered to your inbox on the last Tuesday of every month. It's totally free, and there are several pieces you can read while awaiting your next Found Family message.Follow me on Instagram and TikTok @maryb.safrit so you don't miss updates and bonus content. Support the Show.

Today's episode is the complex and very personal story of navigating and leaving non-affirming spaces after coming out. Moriah Conant (they/she) is a psychologist-in-training who specializes in working with LGBTQIA+ individuals, young adults, and healing from trauma. They utilize a relational psychodynamic approach to therapy, along with feminist psychology and LGBTQIA+ affirming psychology. She is passionate about making mental healthcare and information about mental health accessible and equitable. They are currently completing their training through a placement at a university counseling center.In this episode, you'll hear Moriah and I discuss: Our very personal, complex stories of leaving non-affirming churchesLetting go of people and places who cannot love you as you areTaking ownership of our boundaries and agencyPractical tips to support yourself as you figure out if you want to stay or leaveWhat happens if the non-affirming space is your employer or your school? And so much more! You can follow Moriah on Instagram @mconantpsychology.Support the Show.

Today's episode is the story of an autistic Black and Indigenous femme creative powerhouse who wants to help us center rest, pleasure, and abundance in our actual lives. Sara Elise (she/her) is a multidisciplinary creative, splitting her time between Brooklyn and The Catskills, New York. She works primarily in the hospitality, well-being, and food industries and is the cofounder and designer of Apogeo Collective, a hospitality experience centering QTPOC, as well as the founder of Harvest & Revel, a sustainable event catering + design company. She has been featured in Dazed, Autostraddle, Playboy, Interview Mag, Essence, Afropunk, mindbodygreen, Healthy-ish, Well + Good, Nylon, StyleLikeU, and them, among other publications. And was named one of BK Magazine's 50 Most Fascinating People in 2022.As an autistic Black & Indigenous femme, she spends much of her thoughtspace contemplating pleasure + pain, collective joy + healing, otherness, embodiment, remembering + reclaiming, self-destruction, and growth— and how inextricably those concepts are linked. To that end, Sara Elise has deep interests in ritualization, BDSM, relationship dynamics, and the development of decolonized personal awareness and well-being. With all of her work, she aims to challenge our collective reality by first re­imagining and then creating alternative sys­tems and spaces for Black & Indigenous people of color and LGBTQIA2S+ people to thrive.In this episode, you'll hear Sara Elise and I discussCreating tools to support us in our most human momentsAbundance, but not the capitalistic kindBuilding supportive rituals as a late-diagnosed autistic person Hospitality that treats everyone as desired and essentialAnd so much more! A Recipe for More is available wherever you buy books. Snag a signed copy by DMing Sara Elise on Instagram and mentioning Found Family. You can join Sara Elise's community-making at @SaraElise333 on Instagram, and find more of her writing at saraelise.substack.com. To learn more about Apogeo Collective or book your trip to the guest house, visit apogeocollective.com. Support the Show.

Today's episode is the story of a woman who moved beyond ethnic loneliness by embracing her ethnic identity and finding belonging. Prasanta Verma (MBA, MPH) (she/her) was born under an Asian sun, raised in the Appalachian foothills in the South, and now resides in the Upper Midwest. Her essays and poetry have been published in Sojourners, Propel Women, (in)courage, Inheritance Magazine, the Indianapolis Review, Barren Magazine, and the Mudroom blog. She served as a speech and debate coach for over ten years. When she's not writing, speaking, or working, she's drinking chai, walking, or reading. Prasanta lives with her family in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.In this episode, you'll hear Prasanta and I discuss:The universal and nuanced experiences of loneliness for BIPOCHow to find agency and belonging for ourselvesTips for creating safe commmunityWhat Indian food teaches us about Indian cultureAnd how white folks can support BIPOC friends experiencing ethnic loneliness. Beyond Ethnic Loneliness is available wherever you buy books. Follow Prasanta on IG @prasantaverma and on X @vermaprasanta. Check out more of her work on her website, prasantaverma.com. Support the Show.

Today's episode is the story of how to find your people and create safety when building community online. Jenna DeWitt (she/her) is a sapphic aromantic asexual writer, editor, and resource curator. She is also an advocate, community builder, and Californian. In this episode, you'll hear Jenna and I discussFinding resources that work for you, and sharing that oasis of resources with others. The generous, life-saving rules of online communities that actually work. Identifying the shared values and group rules that make the community better. Widening our definition of "found family"and more! You can find Jenna's work—including essays, poetry, resource lists, and podcast episodes—at InvisibleCakeSociety.com, on Twitter @Jenna_DeWitt, or on Threads @JennaDeWitt.Support the Show.

This episode is the story of everything we've misunderstood about anarchy (and how it gels with Christianity) from the most delightful anarchist theologian. Terry J. Stokes (he/they) is a director of a youth development nonprofit organization on Lenape land now known as Trenton, NJ. He is also an anarchist theologian who seeks to support folks' political and spiritual radicalization through his writing and speaking. He holds degrees from Yale University and Princeton Theological Seminary, and is the author of the new book Jesus and the Abolitionists: How Anarchist Christianity Empowers the People. In this episode, you'll hear Terry and I discuss: Anarchy as a philosophy of freedom and abundance, not destruction or nihilismNonviolent communication, mutual aid, and interdependenceSeeing scripture through the lens of anarchy—and vice versa How utopias may be more accessible than we thoughtWhat Leo Tolstoy and Jesus have in commonand more! Jesus and the Abolitionists is out TODAY and available wherever you buy books. You can follow Terry on socials @ theologywterry. Their podcast is "Abolishing the state in a cool Christian way." Follow their Substack, anarchistxtianity. Support the Show.

Today's episode is the story of an author and advocate working to uproot systemic racism so we can create commmunities that are better for everyone. Latasha Morrison (she/her) is a distinguished author and nonprofit founder widely known for her transformative work in fostering racial reconciliation and unity. As a New York Times best-selling author, she has captured the hearts and minds of readers worldwide with her powerful words and insightful perspectives. She founded the nonprofit Be the Bridge in 2016 to encourage racial reconciliation among all ethnicities, to promote racial unity in America and to equip others to do the same. In the book, she equips and calls readers to break the systems that have for so long marginalized the BIPOC communities. Through her writing and advocacy, Latasha Morrison is a beacon of hope, igniting conversations, challenging social norms and empowering others to take action toward a more inclusive and equitable world.In today's episode, you'll hear Latasha and I discussSustainability and rest when navigating white spacesWhy we need to tell the truth about our historyPrioritizing someone else's sorrow over our own defensivenessAnd more! Brown Faces, White Spaces is available TODAY wherever you buy books. You can follow Latasha all the places @ latashamorrison and @ bethebridge. Check out more of her work at latashamorrison.comSupport the Show.

Today's episode is the story of a guncle finding family and finding himself through the imagination-expanding power of relationships. Jonathan Merritt (he/him) is an award-winning columnist and commentator on politics, spirituality, and culture. He is a contributing editor for The Week and has been featured on prominent national outlets including The New York Times, USA Today, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and CNN. Jonathan has authored four critically-acclaimed books and has also served as a ghostwriter on dozens of others, many of which became New York Times bestsellers. Jonathan is a proud biological Guncle to five little ones in Georgia and a proud adoptive Guncle to ten nephews and nieces in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan, where he resides.In today's episode, you'll hear Jonathan and I discuss: What a children's book about a Guncle can teach us about celebrating ourselves. Learning who we are in the midst of found familyEmbracing our differences not as liabilities but gifts Accepting limitations in relationships And the messy reality of loving across differences. You can get your copy of My Guncle and Me TODAY wherever books are sold. Follow Jonathan on the 'gram and Threads @jonathan_merritt. Read more of Jonathan's work on his website www.jonathanmerritt.comSupport the Show.

Today's episode is the story of an expert in all things story who is obsessed with helping you unearth your inner wisdom and connect with your people by teaching you to write your story. Allison Fallon (she/her) is an author, speaker, and founder of Find Your Voice, a community that supports anyone who wants to write anything. In addition to her books The Power of Writing It Down, Packing Light, and Indestructible, she has ghostwritten 11 books and has collaborated on countless others. Through Find Your Voice, she has helped leaders of multinational corporations, stay-at-home moms, Olympic gold medalists, recovering addicts, political figures, CEOs, and prison inmates use her methods as powerful tools to generate positive change in their lives. She has lived all over the country in the past decade but now lives in Nashville, Tenn., with her husband and two kids, Nella and Charlie. Ally and I discussWriting your story as a practice of personal developmentThe counterintuitive trick to writing resonantlyThe storytelling techniques that transform usRethinking what it means to be the "hero" of your story and so much more! You can follow Ally at allisonfallon.com. Write Your Story is out TODAY and available wherever you buy books. Follow her on Instagram @allyfallon. Listen to her podcast, Write Your Story, wherever you're listening to this one or anywhere else you might stream episodes. Additional resources can be found at findyourvoice.com and writeyourstory.com. Support the Show.

Today's episode is the story of a woman who survived and escaped the Christian Patriarchy movement and created a new life of agency, advocacy, and unconditional love. Cait West is a writer and editor based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Her work has been published in The Revealer, Religion Dispatches, Fourth Genre and Hawai`i Pacific Review, among others. As an advocate and a survivor of the Christian patriarchy movement, she serves on the editorial board for Tears of Eden, a nonprofit providing resources for survivors of spiritual abuse, and co-hosts the Survivors Discuss podcast.In this episode, you'll hear Cait and I discuss: Detangling the perfectionism that patriarchy rewards Repairing the line between us and our anger Growing up within the Christian Patriarchy Movement — and un-forming its work in us Reconnecting ourselves with our agency—and building support systems that can help that thrive and more! Cait's story and perspective are compelling and compassionately told!Rift is out today and available wherever books are sold! Follow Cait on social media @ caitwestwrites. You can read more of her work on her website, caitwest.com, and on her substack, caitwest.substack.com. Support the Show.

Today's episode is the story of a celibate gay man who finds family through committed friendship and embracing clarity and different convictions in the LGBTQ+ Christian community. Art Pereira (he/him) was born in Minas Gerais, Brazil, and immigrated to the United States at the age of four. Having navigated marginalization from a young age both as an immigrant and a gay man, Art has a heart for community-building across cultural divides. After earning a BS in Youth Ministry from Nyack College, Art spent the last ten years working in youth ministry, growing his own heart for discipleship and pastoral care. Art has spoken at Revoice conferences and several podcasts on the topics of sexuality, faith, and community. He currently resides in Bernardsville, NJ, where he shares an apartment with his chosen brother and 60+ houseplants.In this episode, you'll hear Art and I discussHow to navigate differences in conviction and theology with nuance and inclusivityMaking and keeping friends through life changesThe found family of immigrant churches Why we can retire from being the morality policeand trusting the Holy Spirit will do their thing with others. You can learn more about revoice and get your tickets to the June conference at revoice.org. Use code REVOICEPOD for $10 off your ticket. Follow @ revoiceorg on the 'gram for updates and encouragement, and follow @ art_per for pictures of coffee and plants. 

Today's episode is the story of a 40-year-old intentional community in San Francisco, as told by a self-professed granny queer who's seen the LGBTQ Christian scene evolve since she came out in her thirties. Lin Melone (she/her) is a member of the Church of the Sojourners, an intentional Christian community in San Francisco, California. She has spoken at LGBTQ Christian conferences such as Q Christian Fellowship, Revoice, and E3, and presented workshops at children's ministry conferences on how to make churches more welcoming for LGBTQ youth and families. She also serves on the QCF EDI Advisory. She is the queer mom of a grown son from a former mixed-orientation marriage, and after retiring from a career as a Montessori teacher, she currently works for Catholic Charities in homelessness prevention.In this episode, you'll hear Lin and I discuss Creating inclusive, empowering spaces for diverse beliefs, convictions, and experiences Tips for keeping your community from veering into cult territoryHow to structure a flexible community that works for its peopleand the importance of having non-negotiable and negotiable values--and knowing what yours are! You can learn more about Lin's church and community at churchofthesojourners.org. If you'd like to support Red Letter Christians, head to redletterchristians.org. Their Gaza Peace Pilgrimage has already happened, but Red Letter Christians and the organizations that also organized the pilgrimage are still active in calls for a ceasefire. Lin particularly recommends checking out and supporting Freedom Road. You can find ways to do so at freedomroad.us

Welcome to our very first episode as Found Family! I can't think of a better conversation to kick things off. Today, I'm talking to Nia and Katie Chiaramonte.Nia Chiaramonte holds a BA in psychology from the University of Northern Iowa and an MBA in Human Resources from Northwest Missouri State. She is currently the Executive Director of Human Resources for a non-profit near Washington DC. Nia spent the first thirty-five years of her life hiding in plain sight, scared to be who she is and scared of what it might cost her. While the cost has been high, the reward of being free has been worth it. She is cofounder of Love in the Face, an organization to help and support other transgender and LGBTQIA+ individuals on their own journeys of self-discovery.Katie J. Chiaramonte holds a BA in family services from the University of Northern Iowa and is a sendee of The LivingSchool. In addition, she is a certified reproductive doula. After over fifteen years of formal and informal lay ministry in the Christian tradition, Katie has found that love has brought her out into a more spacious place where tradition melts away and all things connect in a wide and endless webY'all are going to love Nia and Katie. In this episode, you'll hear us talk about:What is queer family, and how to embrace itNavigating the coming out journey with family and communityA nontoxic practice of forgiveness The generative synergy of queer community and creative community and more!!Thanks for listening! Embracing Queer Family is available wherever you buy books. Nia and Katie are on Instagram @finding.nia and @katiechiaramonte. You can listen to their podcast, Love in the Face wherever you get podcasts. Learn more about their work at loveintheface.comSupport the show

Many of us have been sold the idea that family is a matter of blood and legally binding agreements. But something in you knows that can't be all there is. But what is the alternative to the model we've been given? Welcome to Found Family. Every Tuesday, I have honest conversations with our dynamite guests, celebrating the creative ways they make community in their actual lives and providing tips about how you can do the same. Our first episode drops next Tuesday, so make sure to hit that follow button wherever you're listening so you don't miss any of the dynamite interviews we have coming up! That's all for now. Catch you on the flippity flop. Support the show

After 11 seasons, 127 episodes, and 99 interviews with single Christians, Unsuitable is evolving. I use the word "evolve" very intentionally here. While we will be operating under a new name and fresh branding, our beating heart will remain the same. All existing episodes will stay up and available. If you're following us on your fav podcast app, you won't have to re-follow us when we re-launch. We will continue to center single folks creating community in their actual lives. We will also center queer folks and others whose stories and wisdom have not been cherished by the white evangelical church. We will also no longer be an exclusively Christian podcast, as we believe there are glimmers of God's goodness everywhere. And it's often those who have been cast aside by institutions like the church who have the clearest vision for creating spaces of inclusion and belonging.Exciting changes are coming in just a few short weeks. However, this is a sort of ending. To honor what we've built over the past five years and thank our faithful listeners, I've written y'all a love letter. You know I think the world of you, so sit back and relax as I attempt to put my feelings into words. To all my Unsuitable pals, stay tuned for what's coming up. I'm never not grateful for you. Thank you for listening, whether you are new to these parts or you've been following us for years. We truly appreciate how you've hung with us as we've grown and particularly as I've come out. You are open and curious and always prove me right when I believe the very best about you. You can follow along with what's coming up on my Instagram @ maryb.safrit, or by getting on the email list at marybsafrit.com/links. Cannot wait to share what's next for Unsuitable.Support the show

Meg Baatz is the co-founder of Kaleidoscope, a New York–based organization helping provide LGBTQ+ people with tangible expressions of Jesus. Meg is a bridge-builder and ministry educator whose desire is to see people grow personally and engage locally in diverse communities – particularly at the intersection of sexuality, gender, and spiritual life with Jesus. Prior to launching Kaleidoscope, Meg spent 6 years educating ministry leaders on enhancing LGBTQ+ inclusion and care. Meg holds a degree in Social Work from Colorado State University.In today's episode, you'll hear Meg and I talk about: why church folks need to let go of our need to appear righteousrefocusing how we use our privilegewhat aspiring allies to the LGBTQ+ community need to know when starting that journey, how to not pass on false gospels and despairand the barriers queer people face when trying to stay with JesusYou can follow Kaleidoscope on Instagram and TikTok @kaleidoscope.usa. Check out the episode description for all the links to the amazing resources Meg talked about. You can follow Meg on Instagram @kaleidomegThe Tiny Brand experience is a done-for-you collaboration, a silver platter of fonts, colors, and design elements tailored for you and your business delivered within a quick turnaround of just 48 hours. If beautiful branding done by someone who just *gets* you is your vibe, you need to work with Karla at The Inspired Foundry / get a Tiny Brand. Use INSPIREDMARYB to get $50 off your Tiny Brand! Head to www.yourtinybrand.com for all the details. It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there! The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide isn't a book about how to get un-single. It's about how to navigate a culture obsessed with marriage as a human who is not married. Each chapter breaks down a common scenario, why it's weird, and contextual options on how to respond. If you're done accepting the same tired interactions that leave you discouraged and disempowered, head to Amazon and get your copy of The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide now! Support the show

Originally from Kenya and currently based in Fort Worth, Texas, Henry is a Christian man who writes on Faith, Friendships, Sexuality, Race, Jesus and a host of other topics.  He loves hosting dinner parties, running, live music, deep friendships, red wine, Beyonce, and all things Texas.In today's episode, you'll hear Henry and I talk about: holding our married friends accountablethe vulnerability of sharing our suffering and tangible ways the church can show up for singlesYou can follow Henry on Instagram and on Twitter @henryabuto. Be sure to check out his website, henryabuto.com.It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there! Looking for the perfect gift for your favorite single pal--or for a treat for yourself? You're going to love our line of cheeky, empowering merch for those walking a non-traditional path. We have beanies, sweatshirts, mugs, and more with phrases like "nobody's better half, already whole" and designs you'll love to rock. Snag yours at marybsafrit.com/shop. Alright, let's dive into today's episode. Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.Support the show