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Today we're talking about marriage - specifically, how Christian marriages might be missing the mark. I'm sitting down with Sheila Gregoire, a researcher who's spent years studying what actually makes relationships work. And here's something interesting: the biggest threat to marital satisfaction isn't what most people think. It's not sex or money - it's housework. Sheila isn't just another marriage author. She's surveyed 7,000 people to understand the dynamics of healthy relationships. Her work challenges a lot of the traditional evangelical advice that's been circulating for decades - advice that often creates more distance than connection. We're going to explore how Christian marriage books have sometimes gotten it wrong. How messages about leadership, submission, and roles can actually harm the very relationships they're trying to protect. We'll talk about what real partnership looks like, how couples can communicate better, and what it means to truly see each other. This conversation is about reimagining marriage - not as a power structure, but as a genuine partnership that reflects mutual respect and love. So if you're curious about building a healthier relationship, or if you're tired of the same old marriage advice, this episode is for you.Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarriage.com as well as a sought-after speaker and an award-winning author of nine books, including The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila is passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to make it healthy, evidence-based, and biblical. She and her husband, Keith, live in Ontario, Canada, near their two adult daughters and three grandbabies. Sheila also knits. Even in line at the grocery store.Sheila's Book:The Marriage You WantSheila's Recommendations:The Deep Rooted MarriageBecoming the Pastor's WifeSubscribe to Our Substack: Shifting CultureConnect with Joshua: jjohnson@allnations.usGo to www.shiftingculturepodcast.com to interact and donate. Every donation helps to produce more podcasts for you to enjoy.Follow on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Threads, Bluesky or YouTubeConsider Giving to the podcast and to the ministry that my wife and I do around the world. Just click on the support the show link belowShifting Culture Productions Support the show
The pastors' wives chat with marriage and sex guru, Sheila Gregoire again! Sheila is the author of The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better.In this episode they talk about Sheila's newest book and how it is a great resource for church leaders: The Marriage You Want, Moving beyond Stereotypes for a Relationship Built on Scripture, New Data, and Emotional Health.Sheila answers questions like what struggle surprisingly causes a three times greater drop in marital satisfaction than sex or money issues? When does compromise become harmful in a marriage? And how do we uncover underlying issues when we're in conflict with our spouse? Follow along with Sheila: https://linktr.ee/sheilagregoire?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAab86eUc5wcH3TEIMnjlUoRotOBalqVrDsaV83f_W_gewikcwBJboiNAO5g_aem_QpsHgoYwmnqAdrPKf2qH8gTo purchase the BOOK, head here: https://pastorswivestellall.com/bookTo shop our MERCH, head here: https://pastorswivestellall.com/shopWant to support the Pastors' Wives Tell All podcast ministry? Become a patron: https://www.patreon.com/pastorswivestellall SUBSCRIBE: Sign up for our email list and receive updates on new episodes, free gifts, and all the fun! Email sign up HERE!CONTACT US: hello@pastorswivestellall.comFOLLOW US:Website: pastorswivestellall.comInstagram: @pastorswivestellallFacebook: @pastorswivestellallJESSICA:Instagram: @jessica_taylor_83, @come_away_missions, @do_good_project__Facebook: Come Away Missions, Do Good ProjectWebsites: Do Good Project, Come Away MissionsJENNA:Instagram: @jennaallen, @jennaallendesignFacebook: @JennaAllenDesignWebsite: Jenna Allen DesignSTEPHANIE:Instagram: @msstephaniegilbertFacebook: I Literally LOLWebsite: Stephanie Gilbert
We all want a marriage that feels like home. We long for a partner who is there for us through all of life's challenges and griefs, who is in on all our inside jokes, who delights in the family we've built together, who looks with hope toward the future with a shared faith and an arm firmly around our shoulders. But how do we get there? What actually works in the real world and honors the picture of marriage found in Scripture?Based on the findings of their meticulous research, Sheila Wray Gregoire and Dr. Keith Gregoire dispel the pervasive myths about what makes a happy marriage. Rather than relying on gender stereotypes, they look at what actually creates intimacy, emotional health, and connection, asking deeper questions that lead to real healing and growth in your relationship with your spouse.With enlightening stories, survey results, and practical tools, this book will help readers create a marriage they love. And with the evidence-based, Scripture-honoring advice in this book, that just may be closer than you imagine. Today, Dr. Stephanie talks with Sheila & Keith about the new book The Marriage You Want, and Dr. Stephanie adds in some of the neurodiverse lens.Dr. Stephanie asks Sheila & Dr. Keith:What did you find about the marriage triangle (God at the top and husband and wife on the bottom) and how that triangle can get skewed?You open a chapter with the controversial statement, "You should not prioritize sex in marriage." Talk a bit more about that as authors of books on healthy sexual marital relationships.What is the unfairness threshold?How does a couple grow intimacy?Do Christian books empower men or make them seem fragile and needy?Dr. Stephanie will do a course based on the new book this summer! Join now!https://www.christianneurodiversemarriage.com/contact-usAbout our Guests:Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarriage.com as well as a sought-after speaker and an award-winning author of 9 books, including the Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better. Sheila is passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to make it healthy, evidence-based, and biblical.Dr. Keith Gregoire is a physician and coauthor with Sheila on The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex, a companion to Sheila's award-winning The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex.The couple lives in Ontario, Canada.Find out more at: https://baremarriage.com/
Navigating healthy relationships with teens can feel overwhelming, especially in a culture full of conflicting messages about identity and sexuality. In this episode, we explore how to raise kids with a biblically grounded and holistic view of sexuality. Drawing from Sheila Wray Gregoire's new book, She Deserves Better, this conversation offers practical tools and transformative insights for parents, youth leaders, and anyone invested in guiding the next generation. Whether you're teaching boundaries, addressing purity culture's impact, or fostering open and respectful conversations, this episode equips you to build healthier relationships and a stronger foundation of faith. Perfect for parents, mentors, and anyone committed to shaping a future of integrity and connection, this discussion encourages you to approach these challenges with wisdom and grace. Resources:Full Episode on YoutubeShe Deserves BetterSheila's Website GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)
MOVIE DISCUSSION: Sheila Gregoire: Bare Marriage Podcast / Bare Marriage Blog / Author Page Sheila Gregoire of the Bare Marriage podcast joins Melvin to discuss The Assistant, a hidden gem of pure psychological drama! It's depiction of modern office work in the film industry is understated, dour, and timely, as it tackles a combination of workplace inequality, systematic issues, and the thin line between the complacent and the complicit.Topics:(PATREON EXCLUSIVE) 21-minutes discussing a report finding that bait, controversy, and enragement posting bolstered lucrative engagement on Threads (similar to other social media), and how this negatively impacts the platform, but also demands we utilize them in a healthier way. (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)The Assistant is a bleak depiction of not only workplace abuse but also of human relationships.Although uneventful, the film has perpetual unease and eeriness.Sheila observed how the film depicts food, and the two discuss its non-nutritious showcase of a biological workplace distraction.Medication plays a significant role in the setting of the film, making overt allusions to the film's boss as a caricature of Harvey Weinstein.Exploitation, abuse, and unethical practices in a company are ultimately anti-capitalist, even if the line is going up and to the right.Pondering if abusive hierarchical structures are more common and dangerous in the church than in the workplace.Sheila, “Often we feel like when we are in these situations that we are powerless… but quite often we do.”Is Jane complicit?Recommendations:For Our Daughters (2024) (Short Film)TÁR (2022) (Movie)Bombshell (2018) (Movie)MAILBAG: Send questions with your first name and we'll answer them in future episodes! Support the showSupport on Patreon for Unique Perks! Early access to uncut episodes Vote on a movie/show we review One-time reward of two Cinematic Doctrine Stickers & Pins Social Links: Threads Website Instagram Facebook Group
What can go wrong in our marriages when people work from beliefs that put women down? Sheila Gregoire from The Bare Marriage Podcast gives her answer in the light of a corrected reading pf Genesis 3:16 on this BEST OF episode of The Eden Podcast from March 16, 2022! The Tru316 Foundation (www.Tru316.com) is the home of The Eden Podcast with Bruce C. E. Fleming where we “true” the verse of Genesis 3:16. The Tru316 Message is that “God didn't curse Eve (or Adam) or limit woman in any way.” Once Genesis 3:16 is made clear the other passages on women and men become clear too. You are encouraged to access the episodes of Seasons 1-11 of The Eden Podcast for teaching on the seven key passages on women and men. Are you a reader? We invite you to get from Amazon the four books by Bruce C. E. Fleming in The Eden Book Series (Tru316.com/trubooks). Would you like to support the work of the Tru316 Foundation? You can become a Tru Partner here: www.Tru316.com/partner
With the release of so many books critiquing purity culture, what has the backlash been like? Well, let's talk about it with Zachary Wagner, the author of Non-Toxic Masculinity as we celebrate the one-year anniversary of the launch of She Deserves Better. To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!About Zachary Wagner: Find Zachary's book Non-Toxic MasculinityFind Zachary on InstagramThings Mentioned in the Podcast: Our book She Deserves Better!Zachary's response to the review from Shane Morris on The Gospel CoalitionBob and Dannah Gresh's appearance at Cedarville UniversityInformation about Dannah calling 8-year-old's bellies intoxicatingFred Stoeker's appearance on Focus on the FamilyMatthew West's podcast discussing Modest is HottestJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Today Heather has a candid conversation with author and blogger, Sheila Gregoire. They dive deep into the impact of purity culture on women's body image, self-esteem, and relationships. Although the hearts and motives may have started in the right place -- as a response to the 1960s, there have been some detrimental effects of certain modesty and purity culture teachings on both young girls and adult women. Sheila sheds light on how these teachings can lead to damaging beliefs, body image issues, and vulnerability to abusive relationships. The conversation delves into crucial topics such as the damaging effects of purity culture on millennial women, the intersection of Christian teachings and body image struggles, and debunking harmful beliefs about the male-female dynamic. Sheila and Heather share personal experiences and insights, offering a thought-provoking discussion that challenges harmful teachings and advocates for body acceptance based on scripture. If you're interested in gaining valuable insights into this critical topic, don't miss out on this impactful episode. Here are a few other key topics from the conversation: Purity culture and Christian teachings have had damaging effects on women, leading to lower self-esteem, sexual pain disorders, and an increased likelihood of marrying an abuser. Are men more visual? The data Sheila shares around this may absolutely stun you! Harmful messages around modesty and responsibility for men's behavior have perpetuated damaging beliefs, desensitized girls to relationship red flags, and reinforced harmful dynamics between men and women. Exploring these issues is crucial for promoting body acceptance based on scripture and addressing damaging teachings in order to positively impact women's lives and relationships. Connect with Sheila and learn more about her new book here: She Deserves Better (Amazon affiliate link) Learn more about Sheila's ministry at https://baremarriage.com/ Are you ready for body image coaching or some personalized help? Visit www.improvebodyimage.com for more options and body image encouragement. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
Forgiveness is so often weaponized against victims in the church. But what does the Bible really say about forgiveness, especially when trauma is involved? How can we value our own mental health but also follow Jesus? This is a fascinating and healing conversation with Susannah Griffith, author of Forgiveness After Trauma.Our Sponsor:The Kingdom Girls NIV Bible. Meet the women in God's story! Designed for girls, but honestly--it's awesome for every woman! And it makes a great Easter gift. The Bible includes beautiful photos and write-ups on every woman who is mentioned in Scripture. Finally, a Bible that highlights God's story for women. View a sample of the Bible here!To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Links We Mentioned:Susannah Griffith's book Forgiveness After TraumaFind Susannah at her websiteFuture Speaking Events:Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! March 23, 2:30-4:30 pm. Q&A, crafts with toxic books, and more.More information here. Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Natalie Hoffman joins us today to talk about her INCREDIBLE memoir All the Scary Little Gods. Natalie escaped an abusive marriage, and now coaches other women in similar situations. In her memoir, she invites us to listen to the story from the point of view of Little Natalie, and using IFS (Internal Family Systems) to see it from all of her parts. And as we understand our stories, we make it so that we won't recreate the problems.To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Links We Mentioned:Natalie Hoffman's book All the Scary Little GodsNatalie's website Flying Free, and her Flying Free podcastThe first podcast Natalie did with me–how Christian books made me stay in an abusive marriageNatalie joined us on our podcast about the book Lies Women BelieveRichard Schwartz' book No Bad PartsJenna Riemersma's book on IFS Altogether YouFuture Speaking Events:Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! March 23, 2:30-4:30 pm. Q&A, crafts with toxic books, and more.More information here. Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
So many people resist admitting that they are actually egalitarians, because they think they have to be complementarian--even if they don't act like it. Today Sheila and her husband Keith dissect the arguments that are often used to say "we're really complementarian"--even when they're objectively not. And we invite people instead to preach what they practice.To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Things Mentioned in the Podcast:The Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood's statementOur podcast with Nancy Pearcey where we explain how complementarians act as egalitariansThe interview with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Robert Wolgemuth The Great Sex Rescue, with our findings about decision-makingRebecca Groothuis' article about equalityJonathan Leeman's article (and video) about a husband's authorityResources about the Biblical Argument for Equality:Marg Mowczko's site--amazing short articles on virtually every bible passage about gender. Our podcast with Philip Payne, and his book The Bible vs. Biblical WomanhoodTerran Williams' book How God Sees WomenTerran Williams' series refuting Mike Winger's videosJulie Zine Coleman's book On Purpose Future Speaking Events:Grand Rapids, MI: Sheila and Rebecca will be at Calvin University on March 13 and 14 . March 13 at 4:30; March 13 at 7 pm for a panel discussion; and March 14 at 7 pm. More details here.Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! March 23, 2:30-4:30 pm. Q&A, crafts with toxic books, and more.Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
The Great Sex Rescue turns 3 this week! And it's been a super eventful three years. So much has changed. So let's talk about the feedback we've had, what we've done since, what people are saying--and where we're going from here.To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workOr, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch at our store, or any of our courses!Things Mentioned in the Podcast:The Great Sex Rescue! Learn more, or get it right from Amazon.Our Healthy Sexuality Rubric where we scored the books we looked at for The Great Sex Rescue.Our podcast where we discussed how the authors we critiqued had responded to The Great Sex Rescue.The article on Julie Roys' site about Focus on the Family deleting comments on the Reel where Juli Slattery used our talking points. Juli Slattery's reel on Focus on the Family's Instagram pageThe Bodies Behind the Bus podcast where Joy tells her story about The Great Sex Rescue (we're near the end) (and here's part 2!)Future Speaking Events:Grand Rapids, MI: Sheila and Rebecca will be at Calvin University on March 13 and 14 . March 13 at 4:30; March 13 at 7 pm for a panel discussion; and March 14 at 7 pm. More details here.Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! We'll have blackout poetry crafts and other paper crafts to do with toxic books (bring them along!), a silent auction, a Q&A, and more. March 23, 2:30 - 5:00 pm. All welcome.Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth is one of the most popular women's bible study books used in churches across North America. But what does the book actually teach about marriage? About sex? About divorce and abuse? It's scary, and today Gretchen Baskerville and Natalie Hoffman join host Sheila Wray Gregoire to analyze the harmful messages in Lies Women Believe.Things Mentioned in the Podcast:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work https://patreon.com/baremarriageOr, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation: https://secure.qgiv.com/for/goodfruitsDownload our One Sheet on Lies Women Believe: https://baremarriage.com/podcast-problems-lies-women-believe-nancy-demoss-wolgemuthNatalie's Podcast Flying Free, and her website https://flyingfreenow.comNatalie Hoffman's book Is It Me: Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage https://baremarriage.com/the-orgasm-course/Gretchen Baskerville's site The Lifesaving Divorce: https://lifesavingdivorce.com/Gretchen Baskerville's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@lifesavingdivorceGretchen's book The Lifesaving Divorce: https://amzn.to/3Sywly8Our podcast on The Power of Praying Wife (featuring Gretchen): https://baremarriage.com/2023/06/podcast-the-problems-with-power-of-a-praying-wife/Our podcast telling Natalie's story: https://baremarriage.com/2022/09/podcast-how-christian-marriage-books-set-up-for-failure-with-natalie-hoffman/Our book She Deserves Better, which deals with Nancy Leigh DeMoss' book Lies Young Women Believe: https://baremarriage.com/she-deserves-better/
Guest Bios Show Transcript https://youtu.be/hteO426dZ6cMen need sex. And it's their wives' job to give it to them—unconditionally, whenever they want it, or these husbands will come under Satanic attack. Stunningly, that's the message contained in many Christian marriage books. Yet, research shows that instead of increasing intimacy in marriages, messages like these are promoting abuse. In this edition of The Roys Report, featuring a talk from our recent Restore Conference, author Sheila Wray Gregoire provides eye-opening insights based on her and her team's extensive research on evangelicalism and sex. Out of a desire for evangelicals' conversations about sex to be healthy, evidence-based, and rooted in Christ, Sheila and her team have analyzed many popular Christian books on sex. Many teach that men are incapable of not objectifying women. And instead of training men to control their urges, these books teach that women must save these men. If a husband struggles with porn, for example, it's his wife's job to give him more sex so he can go cold turkey. If a husband is abusive to his wife, it's his wife's job to pray the abuse away. And if you're a single woman, it's your job to dress in such a way that your body never “intoxicates” a man.With messages like these, is it any wonder that abuse victims often feel like it's their fault if someone hurts them? Is it any wonder that pastors like John MacArthur can convince wives that it's her duty to stay with a man who abuses her and their children? As Sheila explains, the patterns of abuse we're seeing in the church today are a symptom of these toxic evangelical teachings. And to solve the problem of abuse, we need to analyze and challenge these unbiblical teachings. Guests Sheila Wray Gregoire Sheila Wray Gregoire is an author, podcaster, and researcher into evangelicalism and sex. Her goal through Bare Marriage, a popular podcast and ministry, is to change the evangelical conversation about sex to be healthy, evidence-based, and rooted in Christ. She lives in Ontario, Canada, with her husband. They have two adult daughters and two grandbabies. Learn more at BareMarriage.com. Show Transcript SPEAKERSJulie Roys, SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE Julie Roys 00:05Men need sex and it’s their wives job to give it to them unconditionally whenever they want it, or these husbands will come under satanic attack. Stunningly, that’s the message contained in many Christian marriage books. Yet research shows that instead of increasing intimacy and marriages, messages like these are promoting abuse. Welcome to The Roys Report, a podcast dedicated to reporting the truth and restoring the church. I’m Julie Roys, and what you’re about to hear is an eye-opening talk by Sheila Ray Gregoire at our latest RESTORE conference. Sheila is an author and podcaster who’s done extensive research on evangelicalism and sex. And what she’s discovered is that many evangelical books teach an unbiblical message that men are incapable of not objectifying women. And instead of training men to control their urges, these books teach that women must save these men. If a husband struggles with porn, for example, it’s his wife’s job to give him more sex so he can go cold turkey. If a husband is abusive to his wife, it’s his wife’s job to pray the abuse away. And if you’re a single woman, it’s your job to dress in such a way that your body never intoxicates a man with messages like these. Is it any wonder that abuse victims often feel like it’s their fault if someone hurts them? Is it any wonder that pastors like John MacArthur can convince wives that it’s their duty to stay with a man that abuses them and their children? As Sheila explains in this important talk, the abuse that’s rampant in the church is just a symptom of this toxic teaching so prevalent in evangelicalism. And unless we address this false teaching, we’ll never solve the problem of abuse. So, I’m very excited to share Sheila’s eye-opening talk with you. Julie Roys 01:57 But first, I want to thank the sponsors of this podcast, Judson University, and Marquardt of Barrington. If you’re looking for a top ranked Christian University, providing a caring community and an excellent college experience. Judson University is for you. Judson is located on 90 acres just 40 miles west of Chicago in Elgin, Illinois. The school offers more than 60 majors, great leadership opportunities, and strong financial aid. Plus, you can take classes online as well as in person. Judson University is shaping lives that shaped the world. For more information, just go toJUDSONU.EDU. Also, if you’re looking for a quality new or used car, I highly recommend my friends at Marquardt of Barrington. Marquardt is a Buick GMC dealership where you can expect honesty, integrity, and transparency. That’s because the owners there Dan and Kurt Marquardt, are men of integrity. To check them out. Just go to BUYACAR123.COM. Julie Roys 03:02 Well, again, you’re about to hear a talk by Sheila Gregoire on how evangelical teachings on sex promote abuse. Sheila is the founder of BAREMARRIAGE.COM. She’s also the author of several popular books, including The Great Sex Rescue, and She Deserves Better. Sheila’s goal is to change the evangelical conversation about sex to be healthy, evidence based and rooted in Christ. And so, I’m so excited to share this message that Sheila gave at the RESTORE conference. SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE 03:32 It was a Friday afternoon in January of 2019, and I was sitting on my yellow chair in my living room trying to figure out how to procrastinate. I had a migraine, and I didn’t want to work, and so I was on Twitter. And I was reading a conversation between some women arguing whether or not they needed love or respect. And I thought, well, I’m a woman and I need respect. And so, I started chiming in and we were getting all spicy. And then I thought, I have that book. And I had never read it. So, Love and Respect, written by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, who got his PhD from somewhere, I don’t know. Anyway, it’s based on the idea that women need love. and men need respect. Oh, actually, no, it’s not. The subtitle is, the love she most desires, the respect he desperately needs. So, she has desires, and he has desperate needs. But I realized I have that book and I’ve never read it. And so, I thought this is a great way to procrastinate. So, I went, and I got it, and I opened to the sex chapter because I’m kind of the sex lady and that’s what I do. It was only about 12 pages long. And that was when the nuclear bomb went off in my living room. Because I read to my horror, if your husband is typical, he has a need you don’t have, and that need is for physical release. So, if he doesn’t get physical release, he will come under satanic attack. And through that chapter, he keeps referring to sex as a man’s physical release. There was not a single word about intimacy. There was not a single word about women feeling pleasure, too. SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE 04:07 So, I called my team, and we freaked out a bit. And we decided to write a post on our blog about the way that the book handled sex. And that post got so many eyeballs that we spent a whole week on love and respect. And over that week, we had email upon email, and comment upon comment about how that book had enabled abuse in their marriage. Working with me, was a young woman in her late 20s at the time, who has a master’s in epidemiology and is the statistician, but she was home with her baby. And so, she was just working remotely part time for me. And she said, you know what we should do Sheila? we should create a mixed-methods, qualitative analysis of the comments, and we should send it into Focus on the Family, who publishes the book, because maybe they don’t know. Maybe they don’t realize how harmful this is. And so, over the next few weeks, Joanna proceeded to do that. And we sent it to Focus. I knew Jim Daly; I had been on Focus on the Family several times. And we sent a nice letter about how harmful the book had been. And we never heard back. And so, Joanne said to me, “You know what I should do? I should go back and get my PhD so that I could do a study of how messages in the evangelical church are hurting women’s marital and sexual satisfaction. And I said, Joanna, I bet I could get a publisher to pay us to do it. And that is what we did. SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE 06:59 Until that day, I had never actually read another Christian book on sex and marriage. I mostly just wrote my own stuff. I was really scared of plagiarizing. But then we decided that we needed to open our eyes and see what was really going on. So, we surveyed 20,000 women for our book, The Great Sex Rescue. It’s the largest study of evangelical women’s marital and sexual satisfaction that’s ever been done. Did any of you take that study? Were any of you in mind, thank you. I know that was like half an hour of your life you can’t get back. I appreciate it very, very much. We’re doing a new survey that will be out in about two weeks. So, if you follow me, we will be putting out soon we will have a great need for people to take that one as well. But we surveyed 20,000 women measuring how various evangelical messages affected their marital and sexual satisfaction. And what we found was that there was four big messages in the church that really hurt women. And these messages are not biblical. They’re not from Jesus. They are what we have decided, as a church collectively are true. And we’ve done great harm with them. SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE 08:20 And so those messages are a woman is obligated to give her husband sex when he wants it. 39% of women that we surveyed entered marriage believing that. All men struggle with lust, it’s every man’s battle. A woman should have frequent sex with her husband to keep him from watching pornography. And boys will push your sexual boundaries and so girls need to be the gatekeeper. The sum total of those messages does great harm. These were all widely taught, widely believed and hugely destructive. We also did a survey of 3000 men a year later, and guess what? The same messages hurt men’s marriages too. These are universally bad. And yet, when we took a look at 13 of evangelicalism’s bestselling sex and marriage books, these are everywhere. There were only three books that we looked at, that actually scored well on our rubric, the vast majority of them of the books that we looked at scored in the harmful category, including Love and Respect, which scored zero out of 48, literally. Even Every Man’s Battle did better, it got nine. Last year, we did a survey as Julie was telling you of another 7000 evangelical women, this time looking at how messages that we give to teenage girls, end up hurting girls long term. And the same messages that we studied before? Yep, they do harm, but we added some new ones, like the modesty message. When we tell girls, you need to be careful what you wear so that you don’t cause one of your brothers to stumble. Well, that makes her feel like her body is a threat to her. Because by no fault of her own, he could look at her and have these bad thoughts. And then because he can’t control himself, he could end up hurting her. And so that message makes us feel like our bodies actually cause ourselves to be put into harm. SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE 10:42 Research shows that far too many of our common relationship teachings in evangelical culture are hurting us. And I have been trying to sound the alarm on this. And while those in this room are likely to hear it, the powers that be often don’t. This has become a grassroots movement, which I think tends to be the way that Jesus works. He doesn’t tend to talk to the churches, the big places, the big people in power. He sets up 12 disciples and all of the women that were traveling with him, and they go, and they set the world on fire. And that’s what we found in the reception to our books, which are actually selling quite well, is that people want to hear this, even if the powers that be won’t talk about it. SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE 11:38 We have painted men in the church as being created by God, to not be able to do anything but objectify women, which by extension, means that it is women’s responsibilities to save men. And then we’ve somehow managed to sell the message that this is the way that God intended it. So let me give you a few quotes. And I want to do a big trigger warning here, and I’m quite serious about this is that some of you, it might be good to step out of the room. All I’m going to be doing is reading you things from our bestsellers, but they’re not pretty. And so, if you feel like you need to step out of the room, now would be a good time. But let me tell you what Every Man’s Battle said. If you’re looking for the reason for sexual sin among men, we got there naturally, simply by being male. The same authors repeat, men just don’t naturally have that Christian view of sex. So, I guess women were created with more of the Holy Spirit than men, I don’t know. And how then, are men supposed to quit lusting and watching porn? Well, they have the solution. The book, the original edition of the book, told women when he stops cold turkey be like a merciful vial of methadone for him. It explains that well before when you were lusting, you may have been going to your wife for five bowls of sexual gratification a week. Now you’ll be going to her for 10. And she will be happy about this. I don’t know how you can write a book and know so many little about women, but nevertheless. SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE 13:37 So, think about that. We are the methadone for our husband’s sex addictions. And what is it that methadone does? Yeah, methadone is basically something which numbs you so that you don’t go after the thing you really want. And that’s how they raised a whole generation of boys and men to think of girls. That book series has sold 4 million copies. Or how about this? This Gary Thomas and Deborah Phyllida echoed their sentiment in their 2021 book Married Sex, where they encouraged women to send nude photos to their husbands so that neurologically his attention will be focused on her and not other women or porn. And they didn’t really ever talk about the problems of revenge porn, and they minimized any concerns that she may have about cementing an objectified view of women in porn. Even if it’s not about sex, we get the message in our best sellers that we’re just supposed to pray the abuse away. Women you have so much power over your man. Don’t you understand that? So, in Stormy Omartian’s book, Power of a Praying Wife, she has this quote, which is echoed throughout the book. You can submit to God in prayer whatever controls your husband, and she lists a number of things, including alcoholism, and abusiveness, and pray for him to be released from it. That book sold 10 million copies of women being told if he’s abusive, you can pray it away. You just need to pray more. SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE 15:27 I bet John MacArthur likes that one. I think the evangelical version of the gospel too often looks like this. Jesus saves women, so the women can save men. And it’s even in the little things. Last year, the Gospel Coalition put out an Instagram reel, where Ligon Duncan claimed that wives can’t expect their husbands to do risky things, unless their wives unconditionally respect their husbands first. And what are these risky things that a woman can’t expect her Christian husband to do? Pray, read the Bible, think about life from a Christian point of view. You cannot expect your husband to do these risky things that you by the way are already doing unless you first give him unconditional respect. This really quietly puts the wife in the leadership role, while having to pretend that it’s the husband who’s actually the one leading. Honestly, it’s like the bar is so low, it is in the basement, isn’t it? Over and over again, our evangelical teaching tells everybody that it is impossible to expect men to act honorably. Tim LaHaye, in The Act of Marriage, told a story about Aunt Matilda, and he berates Aunt Matilda for telling her niece how terrible sex was just as her niece was getting married. But then he goes on to explain that on her wedding night, Aunt Matilda’s husband held her down kicking and screaming and raped her and continued to do this throughout the marriage. Then Tim LaHaye talks about Aunt Matilda, and her equally unhappy husband. He called the rapist equally unhappy as his rape victim. That book published by Zondervan has gone through four different editions, and nobody ever took out that anecdote. That sold two and a half million copies. His Needs/Her Needs, which I think has also sold two and a half million copies, has a line in there where a 32-year-old executive complains, I feel like I’m begging her or even raping her, but I can’t help it. I have to make love. And Willard Harley, the author uses that to explain that men just have a really high sex drive, and women need to understand that. And then, of course, there’s For Women Only. Shanti Feldon based her book supposedly on research. Which is why I think people have given these books more credence than they really need to have. I’m going to give you an example of her survey question, which has become fundamental in evangelicalism and for several different books. But Emerson Eggerichs actually based his book Love and Respect on the foundational survey question that Shanti used in her book For Women Only, which came out in the same year, 2004, as Love and Respect. So, Shanti asked, I think it was about 450 men, would you prefer to be alone and unloved or inadequate and disrespected? Okay? So, you could be alone and unloved or inadequate and disrespected. 72% of men said that they would prefer to be alone and unloved than inadequate and disrespected. And so, she took this to say that men want respect more than they want love. And that is what Emerson Eggerichs used to base his ideas on for Love and Respect. SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE 15:39 They never asked women; think about that. A whole doctrine of how men need respect and women need love. They never asked women. When other people, other survey people asked women the same question, 68% of women chose alone and unloved as well. There is no gender difference. But beyond that, okay, I’m just gonna get a little survey geeky with you for a sec here, okay? Alone and unloved, inadequate, and disrespected. That’s what’s called a double-barreled question where you don’t know whether they’re responding to alone or unloved or inadequate and disrespected. When my son in law looked at that, he said, well, the one that I would hate to be the most is inadequate, because alone unloved and disrespected are all how other people are treating me, inadequate is how I feel about myself. So, I would choose alone and unloved because I don’t want to feel inadequate, because inadequate and disrespected are not synonyms. That is the state of research that evangelicalism based a foundational doctrine, love, and respect, that we hear everywhere. And church, we simply have to do better. That’s not okay. SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE 21:32 Now, there are many other things and for women only that Shanti Felden, that I find quite problematic. But one of the worst is this line, when she’s talking about the need that men have to feel unconditional respect, she says, If you are wondering if you’ve crossed the disrespect line, watch for anger. So if you’re wondering if you’ve disrespected him, watch if he gets angry. So, your husband’s anger is a sign that you have done something wrong, rather than a red flag of a behavior problem or abuse. And again, her book series has also sold 2 million copies. The worst thing though, is that these messages are not just being given to adults, they’re also being given to children. And for our book, She Deserves Better, where we looked at the messages that were given to evangelical teen girls, we found horrific things that were said to girls as young as eight. And I would like to show you something from the Secret Keeper Girl curriculum by Dannah Gresh. Secret Keeper Girl became an event that was seen by about a million little girls and their moms around North America. It’s now called True Girl. So, they’ve rebranded but a lot of the messages are still the same. And in that curriculum, she encouraged girls to take the Raise and Praise test, okay. So, here’s what you do, you put your arms up in the air. And if any belly shows, that’s bad. And the reason is because bellies are intoxicating. Later in this curriculum, she has a conversation that mothers are supposed to have with their daughters to explain what this means. And you’re supposed to talk to your daughter and explain that to be intoxicated means like being under anesthetic or being drunk when you’re out of control. And God created our bodies to intoxicate men. But you are only supposed to intoxicate one man, your future husband, and so you need to make sure that you’re not intoxicating to anyone else. She told eight-year-old girls, that their bellies have the power to make adult men get out of control. And we did nothing about it. We took our little girls to these events, and they internalized this message. I could go on and on. SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE 24:40 Whether it’s sheet music by Kevin Lehman, telling women that it’s a good thing to have sex when you feel forced and want to shove him off of you. Or explaining that your period is a very difficult time for your husband. I’m not kidding. And so, it’s important to give him sexual favors during your period or when you’re postpartum so that he’s not tempted to watch porn. I can tell you about Every Man’s Battle, telling women that if your husband demands or coerces sex more than once a day, that’s a bad thing. So, there’s a quote, I guess that’s acceptable of coercion. I don’t know. The abusive messages and our evangelical resources are horrifying, and honestly, it seems endless. SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE 25:33 But the sum total of these teachings is that men are entitled to women’s bodies. Men deserve unconditional deference free from being challenged for any bad behavior. And men cannot be expected to act honorably, or even safely. So, when men do harm, it’s likely because some woman somewhere hasn’t done her job. It’s not hard to imagine how disastrous this can be. In a survey done by the Institute for Family Studies, about 27% of highly religious men who believe in complementarianism, or believe in male headship, claim that they have been violent with their current partner. Marital rape is more difficult to measure because it depends on the definition of marital rape. But from what we’ve seen in the literature, and in our own results, it looks like a rate of about 10% with a very narrow definition, to about 25% of evangelical marriages if you include things like obligation sex, which lead to trauma. So, this is what’s going on in the pews. One quarter of the women in our churches are currently victims of abuse. And a lot of that is caused by our messages which prop up and enable abuse. SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE 27:17 And it’s not only abuse. There’s also rates of sexual pain. This is one of our big research areas that we’re trying to dig down deep into. Because it’s been known for about 50 years in the literature that evangelical women suffer from sexual pain. Specifically, a sexual pain disorder called vaginismus, which is when the muscles of the vaginal wall contract and become really tight, so that penetration becomes really difficult, if not impossible. Even things like inserting tampons can become difficult or pelvic exams. And we’ve known evangelical women suffer from this at way higher rates than the general population. But what we haven’t known is why. And it was assumed that it’s just because well, they’re just ashamed of sex. That’s not actually what we found. We discovered two big things that are highly highly correlated with vaginismus. The first is the obligation sex message. So, when women enter marriage, believing in obligation sex, whether or not their husbands do, it's just what you have internalized, your chance of experiencing vaginismus increases to almost the same statistical effect as if you had been abused. Because our bodies interpret obligation sex as trauma. Because abuse says, you don’t matter, he gets to use you however you want. And so does obligation sex. The other big thing that’s correlated with it is the modesty message as a teenager. So, when a girl has internalized that she is at least partially responsible for keeping boys from sinning., she’s also far more likely to experience vaginismus. This is our problem. It’s not nice to talk about it, but this is our problem. We have an incidence rate of about 22.6% of evangelical women and in the broader population is closer to seven or eight. This is what we have done, and it’s largely because of what we have taught people. SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE 29:32 And that’s why I am so passionate about changing the way we talk about sex and marriage in the church. Because what we have done has had real world effects. It has caused abuse to rise. It has caused actual physical changes in our bodies. And there’s other research which has shown that it actually solidifies porn use and makes it much harder to stop. We need to talk about this in a different way. And what’s been so exciting to me as we have done our work is that people have told me again and again, that when they read our stuff, they start to recognize abuse in other places too. Like, once you start to see, oh, this isn’t okay, in one area, you see it everywhere. One woman told us that it’s like peeling an onion, you know, and you take off one layer. And then you see it again and again. Another woman said, you know, I read The Great Sex Rescue, and I recognized that there was some really abusive patterns in my marriage. And thank God, my husband saw it, too, and we’re on the road to recovery. But it wasn’t just that. I also in that same week, realized that my boss was sexually harassing me, and I stood up to him, and I reported him. And we left our church. Because when you see abuse in one area, you’re able to recognize it in others. SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE 31:19 This is gonna sound weird to say, I don’t actually care about sex that much. Like, I know, this is my whole life, and I know this is all I write about. I don’t actually care that much. You know what I care about? I care about people thriving. I care about emotional health and wholeness. I care about ending abuse. But there’s a lot of people that are doing that work of calling out abuse, and you know how hard it is to get people to listen to you. You know, it’s like banging your head on the wall, and they just don’t want to hear. And on the other side, there’s a lot of people addressing the theology of men and women in the church, and how harmful that theology has been to many women. And I can’t speak Greek, my husband reads the New Testament in Greek, but I don’t, you know, I can’t tackle it on that side. But you know, the one thing people like talking about? sex. Everybody wants to talk about sex. And so, this has been our way in. We’ve been able to open up that conversation about sex, so that people will listen. Even people who, maybe you’re normally in more fundamentalist spaces, because everybody wants good sex. And when you can tell them, hey, here’s the way forward, here’s what we need, here’s why women need to matter too. When they start to see it in that one area, then they’ll start to see it in others. And I think that’s where we can work together. You know, I know so many of you are recovering from church hurt, and you’re wondering where to go and how to move forward. And I’ve been there. But I believe that as we speak up about this stuff, we’re going to empower others, that they can speak up too, and we’re going to cause a grassroots movement. SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE 33:27 I spent a lot of years hitting my head against the wall, trying to convince Focus on the Family to change. It doesn’t work. Interestingly, they’re now using all of my talking points in their Instagram reels. They’re just not referencing me. It’s pretty funny. But so, you know, that’s good. You know what? I don’t care if you don’t reference me, as long as you’re actually starting to teach healthy stuff, do not trust Focus for healthy stuff. Okay? They might be saying a few good things. And I’m glad about that. But this is not an endorsement. But you know, things can change slowly from the grassroots. But we’re not necessarily going to get the big things to change. And it used to really frustrate me when I couldn’t get the big organizations to change, when I couldn’t get the megachurch pastors to listen to me, when I couldn’t get the big media organizations to listen to me. When nobody big would interview us about The Great Sex Rescue, even though we did the biggest study that’s ever been done. Even though we spoke at the American Physiotherapy convention because pelvic floor physiotherapists think we’re groundbreaking. And we can’t get the big names in the church to listen. But maybe that’s because they’re not supposed to. Because Jesus works at the margins. And I think Jesus is working at the margins here. And I know so many of you are hurting and a lot of It is because of this crap that was in so many of the books that taught you that it’s your fault if someone hurts you, and that you’re just not praying enough. And don’t you know that Jesus put up with it? So, what are you to say that you shouldn’t have to put up with this? You should have the mind of Christ. And you’ve heard those messages. But let me tell you that Jesus wants to tell you that you matter, that you matter. SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE 35:33 One of my co-authors on The Great Sex Rescue said that we could sum up the whole book with just four words, women are people too. And we are. And men are people too too; we all matter. But when we live in a church culture, which is trying to be based on power instead of on love, and emotional wholeness, we’re going to end up with abuse. And we’re going to end up with hurt. And so, as we’re fighting abuse, my plea, if I can make a plea, is that we also fight that which underpins abuse. That we don’t just fight abuse, but we start calling out the teaching that has enabled it. Because when we call out the teaching, we make it far more likely that people will recognize abuse in other spaces, too. SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE 36:35 One of the things that so disappointed me in the Mars Hill podcast series, I don’t know how many of you listen to that. Some of you, yeah, they just didn’t go far enough. They treated it like Mark was the problem. Mark was a symptom. All of the things that one episode they did about women, all of the things Mark preached about women, were in all of our best sellers. I could have pointed you to everything he said was in all of our bestsellers that are still our bestsellers. Mark is not the problem; Mark’s awful, but Mark is not the problem. The problem is that we have this whole culture of teaching that enables the Mark’s to get power. If we didn’t have this teaching underpinning it, if we didn’t have these ideas of power and kingdom, then there would not be a Mark Driscoll who would have that kind of power, there would not be a John MacArthur who told Eileen Gray she needed to go back to her abusive husband. And so, as we fight abuse, and I am so grateful to those of you who are out there in the trenches doing that, I pray that you will also join me in some of my mission too, in fighting the teaching that is given about marriage and sex that is underpinned abuse and enabled it to flourish. Because I think, until we can eradicate that teaching, we’re just going to be playing abuser whack-a-mole. Thank you. Julie Roys 38:12 Wow, such an important message. And I’m so grateful for Sheila’s ministry, and the way that she’s addressing the root of the abuse problem in our churches. And I’m grateful for you too, who listen and support these podcasts and help us get these important messages out. As I’ve noted before, many ministries charge for conference talks, but because of your continued generosity, we’ve been able to make these messages available free of charge. And I’m just so grateful to the hundreds of you who donate to The Roys Report. As I’ve said before, we don’t have any large donors or advertisers, we simply have you the people who care about abuse victims and want to help. If you appreciate this ministry and want to support us, just go to JULIEROYS.COM/DONATE. And in January, if you give a gift of $30 or more, we’ll send you a copy of The Great Dechurching. This is a great resource exploring what’s causing the current exodus out of the church, and what can be done to stop the bleed. So again, just go to JULIEROYS.COM/DONATE. Also, just a quick reminder to subscribe to The Roys Report on Apple podcast, Google podcasts or Spotify. That way you won’t miss any of these episodes. And while you’re at it, I’d really appreciate it if you’d help us spread the word about the podcast by leaving a review. And then please share the podcast on social media so more people can hear about this great content. Again, thanks so much for joining me today. Hope you’re blessed and encouraged. Read more
Links to things mentioned:Our marriage survey is still open! We're looking for married couples to take it. https://baremarriage.com/grimJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our incredible Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more! https://patreon.com/baremarriageHelp us raise $52,000 by Christmas to expand our reach and make inroads into academic circles! BOSKO LINK HERELaura Anderson's book When Religion Hurts You https://amzn.to/3sB0ZhsFind Laura on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlauraeanderson/Our Merch: order before December 10 to use it as Christmas gifts! https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/merchandise/Our book She Deserves Better, outlining some of the trauma messages teen girls receive, and our book The Great Sex Rescue, outlining vaginismus as a potential trauma response
How can mothers raise their daughters with healthy messages about sex, self, and speaking up? What are some of the toxic teachings that need to be acknowledged and challenged? Barb speaks with Sheila Gregoire, author of the popular book, The Great Sex Rescue, about Sheila's book for mothers of daughters titled, She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self and Speaking Up. During their conversation, Sheila reveals data from her survey of more than 7,000 women about how experiences in church as teens affect women's self-esteem and their relationships today. RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE tolovehonorandvacuum.com She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self and Speaking Up Connect with Sheila on Twitter! Connect with Sheila on IG! Connect with Sheila on Facebook! ABOUT OUR SPECIAL GUEST Sheila Wray Gregoire is an author, podcaster, and researcher into evangelicalism and sex. The founder of BareMarriage.com, together with her team she has surveyed over 32,000 people for her books The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better. Her goal is to change the evangelical conversation about sex to be healthy, evidence-based, and rooted in Christ. A graduate of Queen's University, she's married to her husband Keith, a pediatrician, who writes and speaks with her.
Sheila Gregoire and Keith Gregoire are the co-authors of The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex: Because Good Guys Make the Best Lovers. On this episode of The Eden Podcast we hear his three stories: His Faith Story, his Ministry Story and his Tru316 Story! Keith Gregoire, MD, married and father of two adult daughters, is a pediatrician who knows how healthy marriages contribute to children's well-being. He is passionate about building great marriages and about equipping couples to parent well. He and his wife Sheila have spoken at scores of marriage conferences, headlined their own signature marriage event all over the United States and most of all do the Bare Marriage Podcast. He is also an avid birdwatcher who loves traveling with Sheila in the RV to chase after hawks.Dr. Keith Ronald Gregoire, Consulting Pediatrician Belleville, Ontario, a longtime Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at Queen's University, Kingston, Ontario, Canada.Keith's Instagram handle: @drbirdnerdThe Bare Marriage blog: https://baremarriage.com/Would you like to go deeper studying the Tru316 Message? ENROLL NOW to be part of the next Tru School two-week cohort, The Eden Workshop on Genesis 2-3. Here's that link: www.Tru316.com/workshopThe Tru316 Foundation(www.Tru316.com) is the home of The Eden Podcast with Bruce C. E. Fleming where we “true” the verse of Genesis 3:16. The Tru316 Message is that “God didn't curse Eve (or Adam) or limit woman in any way.” Once Genesis 3:16 is made clear the other passages on women and men become clear too.Would you like to support the work of the Tru316 Foundation? You can become a Tru Partner HERE: www.Tru316.com/partnerFor just $3.16/month or more our Tru Partners are spreading the Word that God didn't curse Eve (or Adam) or limit woman in any way. Click www.Tru316.com/partner
Links to things mentioned:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and help support our research and our work! https://patreon.com/baremarriageLisa Weaver Swartz' book Stained Glass Ceilings: https://amzn.to/3suzUfJA write-up of the amicus brief submitted on behalf of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary to deny victims the right to sue the organizations that failed to report and failed to protect: https://www.courier-journal.com/story/news/2023/10/27/southern-baptists-response-to-sex-abuse-in-kentucky/71343874007/Our book She Deserves Better: https://baremarriage.com/she-deserves-better/
Leslie's special guest on this episode is Sheila Gregoire, author of "She Deserves Better" and "The Great Sex Rescue." Together Sheila and Leslie delve into debunking harmful stereotypes and fostering meaningful connections with your daughters. Segment 1: Harmful Beliefs About Girls and Their Consequences: Sheila discusses (and debunks) the damaging belief that girls talk excessively and its adverse effects on their lives. Explore the potential consequences of buying into this stereotype, including the risk of marrying an abuser. Segment 2: Nurturing Healthy Communication with Daughters: Sheila underscores the significance of parents actively listening to their daughters and allowing them to have a voice. Encourage ongoing and open dialogues, with an emphasis that parents need not be perfect in these conversations. Parents are encouraged to teach their children the art of respectful disagreement and independent thinking. Segment 3: Impact of Toxic Relationships on Parenting: How toxic relationships, particularly abusive marriages, affect parenting. Sheila emphasizes the importance of recognizing and breaking free from authoritarian and harmful patterns in one's life. Parents are urged to treat their sons and daughters equitably, imparting values of mutual respect and shared responsibilities. Delve into setting boundaries and recognizing red flags in relationships. Segment 4: Parenting Daughters in Healthy Relationships and Non-Negotiables: Sheila offers valuable advice on parenting daughters and identifies non-negotiables. Emphasize that daughters should not be instrumentalized to make parents look good but should be recognized as unique individuals. Encourage parents to provide guidance, maintain open conversations, and embrace imperfections. Resources: Register for Leslie's free workshop on October 5th, 2023: "If He Doesn't Hit You Is It Still Abuse?" www.leslievernick.com/freetraining Leslie's website: www.leslievernick.com Sheila Gregoire's website: www.sheilawraygregoire.com Sheila's podcast: Bare Marriage (formerly "To Love, Honor and Vacuum"):
Author, speaker, and podcaster Sheila Gregoire joins Blake to discuss the impact of toxic teachings in evangelical churches on women's marital and sexual satisfaction. Sheila explains how their research project surveyed thousands of women to examine how these teachings harmed women's experiences and led to harmful beliefs. Joins them as they talk about the consequences of purity culture, the lack of boundaries in evangelical communities, and the importance of teaching girls to have a voice and set boundaries. This episode emphasizes the need for parents to be aware of what their children are being taught in church and to engage in open conversations with them to counter harmful messages. In this episode, you'll be able to: Explore the impact of toxic teachings within evangelical churches on women's self-esteem, relationships, and boundaries. Gain insights into the research-backed findings about the harmful effects of purity culture and modesty messages. Discover strategies and conversations to help parents empower their children to recognize red flags and prioritize healthy boundaries within church communities. Sheila is the author of She Deserves Better – available everywhere now! To connect with Sheila: Website: baremarriage.com Instagram: @sheilagregoire Facebook: @sheila.gregoire Podcast: Bare Marriage
The evangelical message for girls was all about virginity, naivete, and silence, and millenial women are paying the price for it. "She Deserves Better" gets into what went wrong but also gives us a playbook for how to do better. We talk about: the impact of modesty teaching what happens when girls are told they talk too much the importance of sex ed Full show notes here Partner with us to hear Jess and Devi's trip to a sex shop in Melbourne. We read out product descriptions and give our honest opinion about a (surprising) number of sea creature-like devices. Get it for $3/month (USD). Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarrige.com, the largest single-blogger marriage blog. She's also an award-winning author of nine books, including The Great Sex Rescue, and a sought-after speaker. Connect with Sheila on Instagram. Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach is a psychology graduate, Sheila's daughter, and the author of Why I Didn't Rebel. Working alongside her husband, Connor, she develops websites focusing on building Jesus-centered marriages and families. Connect with Rebecca on Instagram.
Make a one-time or recurring donation on our Donor Box profile here. Join us in the mission of introducing Reformed Theology across the world! Interested in further study of the Bible? Join us at Logos Bible Software. Are you interested in a rigorous and Reformed seminary education? Call Westminster Seminary California at 888-480-8474 or visit www.wscal.edu! Please help support the show on our Patreon Page! WELCOME TO BOOK CLUB! Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarriage.com, a sought-after speaker, and an award-winning author of nine books, including The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better. Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach is a psychology graduate, Sheila's daughter, and the author of Why I Didn't Rebel. Joanna Sawatsky is an epidemiologist with a research focus on the intersection of religiosity and women's health issues. As Research Coordinator at Bare Marriage she oversees health promotion efforts by managing survey development, data collection, statistical analysis, and knowledge translation. We want to thank Baker Books for their help in setting up this interview and providing us with the necessary materials for this interview Purchase the book(s) here: She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Self, Sex, and Speaking Up Have Feedback or Questions? Email us at: guiltgracepod@gmail.com Find us on Instagram: @guiltgracepod Follow us on Twitter: @guiltgracepod Find us on YouTube: Guilt Grace Gratitude Podcast Please rate and subscribe to the podcast on whatever platform you use! Looking for a Reformed Church? North American Presbyterian & Reformed Churches --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/gggpodcast/support
In this episode Krystal and Alma finish their discussion of Sheila Gregoire's new book: She Deserves Better. This episode is not explicit but due to the topics we don't advise listening with children. You can find the first part of this book review in Episode 66. They cover the last chapters of the book and discuss the different topics that are brought up. Thank you for being here, we hope you enjoy the episode! Leave us a voicemail: https://anchor.fm/thefriendshipbreadpodcast/message Send us an email at: thefriendshipbread@gmail.com Find the community blog at: thefriendshipbread.com Find us on Instagram: instagram.com/thefriendshipbread/ Find us on Facebook: facebook.com/thefriendshipbread/
Links to things mentioned:Our patreon! Join our exclusive, behind-the-scenes group and get extra access to Sheila, Rebecca, and Joanna for only $5 a month!Our amazing Insulated Travel Mugs, that keep water super cold, and keep things hot, too! We've got them in a variety of designs, including Prayer and Tent Pegs, our She Deserves Better slogans, and our Biblical Womanhood MerchN.T. Wright's book How God Became King, and Rachel Held Evans' book Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible AgainThe article from Desiring God that tells women to gaslight themselvesOur podcast on how Emerson Eggerichs misuses Scripture, and our post outlining the main ways in detail
Links to things mentioned:Join our Patreon and join our LIVE Brio magazine pajama party! https://patreon.com/baremarriage Get our Great Sex Rescue Toolkit, to explain our findings to your friends: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product/great-sex-rescue-toolkit/ See our She Should Know merch, based on She Deserves Better: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/she-should-know-collection/ Check out our Limited Edition beach towels: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/limited-edition/
In this episode, Caleb talks with Sheila Gregoire about her book, She Deserves Better, and more.Links MentionedSheila GregoireBare MarriageShe Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, and Speaking Up by Sheila Gregoire, Rebecca Lindenbach, and Joanna SawatskyThe Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You've Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended by Sheila Gregoire, Rebecca Lindenbach, and Joanna SawatskyCaleb's SubstackEpisode 351: Zachary WagnerEpisode 211: Rachel Welcher
Links to things mentioned:Our Patreon! Get free merch, access to our Facebook group, discounts on courses, and more! Todd Korpi's book Your Daughters Shall Prophesy: Amplifying the Voice and Place of Christian Women (https://amzn.to/3MWkPtH)Follow Todd on Twitter and InstagramOur new "She Should Know" merch based on empowering sayings from our book, She Deserves Better
In this episode we are joined by Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach to talk about their new book, She Deserves Better (published by Baker). Over the course of our conversation, we discuss the findings of their survey research of over 7,000 women about how experiences and teaching in youth group affect women longterm regarding their self-esteem, marital and sexual satisfaction, etc. Sheila and Rebecca share their interesting findings and articulate their constructive vision for how sex should be discussed in the home and in the church. Team members on the episode from The Two Cities include: Dr. Madison Pierce.
Stephanie is joined by Sheila Wray Gregoire to discuss how to raise girls to resist toxic Christian teachings about sex, self, and speaking up. This conversation aims to serve parents of girls (and boys too!) from pre-teen years all to way to young adulthood. Sheila and Stephanie have an hour-long conversation of which today's episode is the second part (episode 206 was the first half, accessible here: https://www.podcastics.com/episode/237258/link/ or on your favorite listening platform) Parents want their daughters to thrive--to be strong, confident, and equipped to step into the life God has for them. Sheila asks, “What if the church is setting our daughters up to be small? What if the most common teachings girls hear in youth group make them more likely to marry an abuser? Less likely to understand consent? And more likely to blame themselves if they are assaulted?” Armed with data from an all-new survey of more than 7,000 women, the authors of The Great Sex Rescue, Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and Joanna Sawatsky, reveal how experiences in church as teens affect women's self-esteem and relationships today in their new book “She Deserves Better.” They expose common evangelical teachings that can backfire: the purity emphasis that can cause shame rather than good choices, the dating rules that can prime girls for abuse, and the one overarching belief that can keep them from setting healthy boundaries. This book tackles tough topics like: - The dating rule that works best—except when it doesn't (and why we need nuance) - How we can talk about clothing choices without causing body image issues or blaming girls for boys' thoughts - How to talk about saving sex without idolizing virginity or creating sexual anxiety - How we can protect our daughters from a church hurt that could send them fleeing the faith And so much more. "Sheila, Rebecca, and Joanna are an all-star team, confronting the harm done to our daughters in both the church and the world,” said Aimee Byrd, author of The Sexual Reformation. “The title says it all. Full stop. Our daughters deserve better! This book is full of thorough research, refreshingly commonsense biblical wisdom, and practical help on how to talk with our daughters and prepare them for confidence and maturity." MEET SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarrige.com, the largest single-blogger marriage blog. She's also an award-winning author of nine books, including The Great Sex Rescue, and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila is passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to line up with kingdom principles. She lives in Ontario, Canada, with her husband. They have two adult daughters and two grandbabies. Support us!
In this thought-provoking episode of Faithful Politics we delve into the fascinating world of Biblical Womanhood and its influence on gender roles in American Christianity. Our guest, Professor Beth Allison Barr author of "The Making of Biblical Womanhood: How the Subjugation of Women Became Gospel Truth" takes us on a captivating journey through history, shedding light on the development and impact of this concept.Join us as we explore a series of intriguing questions with Professor Barr. We begin by uncovering the inspiration behind her book and her hopes for readers' takeaway. Professor Barr's research challenges traditional notions of gender roles within the church, inviting readers to critically analyze their beliefs and consider the implications for women.We then delve into the distinction between Patriarchy and Complementarianism, seeking to understand the nuances between these two concepts that often intersect within Christian circles. Professor Barr expertly clarifies these terms, unraveling their implications for gender dynamics in the church and society.Next, we embark on a journey through history, encountering Margery Kempe, a historical figure who may spark laughter among Professor Barr's students. Discover why this connection is both intriguing and significant in understanding the evolution of gender roles within Christianity.One of the central themes of "The Making of Biblical Womanhood" is the development and usage of this concept to shape gender roles in American Christianity. Professor Barr expertly explains the origins and evolution of Biblical Womanhood, offering valuable insights into its impact on women's lives.In a captivating comparison, we explore Dr. Mckay's book alongside Sheila Wray Gregoire's, "She Deserves Better." We discuss the contrasting focus between raising girls to resist toxic teachings and addressing the oppression faced by adult women in the church. We also contemplate who might write about the oppression of senior women in the future, with intriguing predictions for a potential author.Wrapping up the conversation, we address the after-effects of challenging Complementarianism directly. Professor Barr shares the unexpected costs and rewards she encountered along her journey, offering a unique perspective on the challenges and joys of her work. Lastly, we explore the negative perception of the Medieval age within Evangelicalism. Professor Barr highlights how Evangelicalism has contributed to this skewed view, unveiling the richness and significance of the Medieval period within the Christian tradition.Guest Bio:Barr is currently the James Vardaman Professor of History at Baylor University, where she teaches both undergraduate and graduate courses, but she also speaks and writes as a public intellectual. She has been featured by NPR and The New Yorker, and her bylines include Religion News Service, The Washington Post, Christianity Today, The Dallas Morning News, Sojourners, and Baptist News Global. She also continues to write regularly on The Anxious Bench, a popular religious history blog on Patheos. An academic by training and a pastor's wife by calling, Beth uses her unique voice to speak out on the relevance of medieval history to our modern world—especially concerning women in both medieval and modern Christianity. Support the showTo learn more about the show, contact our hosts, or recommend future guests, click on the links below: Website: https://www.faithfulpoliticspodcast.com/ Faithful Host: Josh@faithfulpoliticspodcast.com Political Host: Will@faithfulpoliticspodcast.com Twitter: @FaithfulPolitik Instagram: faithful_politics Facebook: FaithfulPoliticsPodcast LinkedIn: faithfulpolitics
Stephanie is joined by Sheila Wray Gregoire to discuss how to raise girls to resist toxic Christian teachings about sex, self, and speaking up. This conversation aims to serve parents of girls (and boys too!) from pre-teen years all to way to young adulthood. Parents want their daughters to thrive--to be strong, confident, and equipped to step into the life God has for them. Sheila asks, “What if the church is setting our daughters up to be small? What if the most common teachings girls hear in youth group make them more likely to marry an abuser? Less likely to understand consent? And more likely to blame themselves if they are assaulted?” Sheila and Stephanie have an hour-long conversation of which today's episode is the first part (episode 207 will be the sequel, and will publish a few days later). Armed with data from an all-new survey of more than 7,000 women, the authors of The Great Sex Rescue, Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and Joanna Sawatsky, reveal how experiences in church as teens affect women's self-esteem and relationships today in their new book “She Deserves Better.” They expose common evangelical teachings that can backfire: the purity emphasis that can cause shame rather than good choices, the dating rules that can prime girls for abuse, and the one overarching belief that can keep them from setting healthy boundaries. This book tackles tough topics like: - The dating rule that works best—except when it doesn't (and why we need nuance) - How we can talk about clothing choices without causing body image issues or blaming girls for boys' thoughts - How to talk about saving sex without idolizing virginity or creating sexual anxiety - How we can protect our daughters from a church hurt that could send them fleeing the faith And so much more. "Sheila, Rebecca, and Joanna are an all-star team, confronting the harm done to our daughters in both the church and the world,” said Aimee Byrd, author of The Sexual Reformation. “The title says it all. Full stop. Our daughters deserve better! This book is full of thorough research, refreshingly commonsense biblical wisdom, and practical help on how to talk with our daughters and prepare them for confidence and maturity." MEET SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarrige.com, the largest single-blogger marriage blog. She's also an award-winning author of nine books, including The Great Sex Rescue, and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila is passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to line up with kingdom principles. She lives in Ontario, Canada, with her husband. They have two adult daughters and two grandbabies. Support us!
Links to things mentioned:Our Patreon! Join us for as little as $5 a month, and get access to exclusive content while also supporting our research.Nijay's new book Tell Her Story Our podcast looking at how Emerson Eggerichs mishandles Scripture, featuring Nijay GuptaThe audio version of She Deserves Better is now available! https://amzn.to/43tbmkpOur new She Deserves Better merch!Amazon Prime's new series Shiny Happy People (coming June 2)
In an effort to keep this Purity Culture episode lighter, Krystal and Alma talk about Sheila Gregoire's new book: She Deserves Better. This episode is not explicit but due to the topics we still don't advise listening with children. They go through several chapters and discuss the different topics that are covered. They share how this book has already been so healing and how excited they are for parents to have this resource for the next generation. Thank you for being here, we hope you enjoy the episode! Leave us a voicemail: https://anchor.fm/thefriendshipbreadpodcast/message Send us an email at: thefriendshipbread@gmail.com Find the community blog at: thefriendshipbread.com Find us on Instagram: instagram.com/thefriendshipbread/ Find us on Facebook: facebook.com/thefriendshipbread/
Sex is designed by God to be a gift, but tragically, it's horribly misused to objectify women一not only in the world at-large一but also in the church. In this episode, Sheila Wray Gregoire, author of The Great Sex Rescue, She Deserves Better, and The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex, explains some heartbreaking trends in evangelicalism: Why sex has become about male entitlement and female obligation, rather than an mutual expression of intimacy and pleasure How gender stereotypes about sexual drive and wiring have damaged women What many of the prominent evangelical books and curriculums about sex get terribly wrong (and the cost of those mistakes) Based on years of extensive research, Sheila also explains to Steve Carter how the church can recover from the blunders of purity culture: How the church can talk about sex in a healthy way Tips for pastors offering premarital counseling Advice for honeymooning couples who feel crippled by pressure to perform on their first night together Five essentials to help align a couple's libido in a way that's considerate, not manipulative God's heart for us, sex included, is to find healing and wholeness. So listen well. Learn. Pray that God's Spirit will transform the broken perceptions and practices we subconsciously (or intentionally) embody. It's only when we recognize (and repent of) what's marred and broken that we can savor what's beautiful. EPISODE LINKS Sheila's books: The Great Sex Rescue, She Deserves Better, The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex Her ministry: Bare Marriage Website: https://sheilawraygregoire.com @sheilagregoire @steveryancarter @craft_character Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Content note: This episode contains themes of sexual abuse and rape.Sheila Gregoire is an author who has written several books that break the mold of Christian books about sex and marriage. Her latest book, She Deserves Better, is about raising girls as followers of Christ in ways that leave purity culture and teaching about modesty in the dust while showing us a better way. We also talked to Sheila about her 2021 book The Great Sex Rescue, in which she points out the inherent misogyny in a vast majority of Christian books about sex and proposes a new way to create a sexual dynamic that promotes flourishing for women and men.In this episode, we tasted Driftless Glen's Port Barrel Finished Bourbon.If you're not interested in the bourbon tasting, skip to the 7:00 mark for the interview. Cheers!To chat with us and Bridget Eileen Rivera on August 17, subscribe at the Pappy level at our Patreon.=====Want to support us?The best way is to subscribe to our Patreon. Annual memberships are available for a 10% discount.If you'd rather make a one-time donation, you can contribute through our PayPal. Other important info: Rate & review us on Apple & Spotify Tweet us at @PPWBPodcast, @robertkwhitaker, and @RandyKnie Follow & message us on Facebook & Instagram Watch & comment on YouTube Email us at pastorandphilosopher@gmail.com Cheers!
Links to things mentioned:Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and join our exclusive Facebook group, plus help support our research!Our new book She Deserves Better--the audio has now launched!Our one-sheet download of the problems with Every Young Man's BattleOur podcast with Zachary Wagner, his new book Non-Toxic Masculinity, and his TwitterAndrew Bauman's book The Sexually Healthy Man and his FacebookOur Whole Story puberty course to tell your kids about sex & puberty!
You deserve better. Your daughters deserve better. The women around you deserve better. She deserves better. This is a sentiment Sheila Wray Gregoire strongly believes in, and she is here today not only to introduce you to her new book, She Deserves Better, but to tell you exactly why you deserve better and how you can heal from the lies you grew up believing about purity culture, sex, modesty, men, and more.Join Natalie and Sheila as they discuss the harmful lies you were taught to believe, how you can heal, and how you can help raise the next generation to have a better chance at believing and living in the truth.Key Points From This Episode: Why She Deserves Better was written and the stats to back up the book. How purity culture was born (and why it's a big bunch of lies squashed together because of fear and then fed to us and our children). How to help our children have high self-esteem. Why Christian women struggle with vaginismus at twice the rate of the general population. How She Deserves Better can help you reparent yourself. Why telling the truth to our children about sex is vital to their physical, mental, and emotional health. Read or download the transcript hereIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-downloadYou can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
What if the most common teachings girls hear within the church are actually harmful when it comes to purity, dating, modesty, and so much more? In this interview with the incredible Sheila Wray Gregoire, Amanda Davison will ask questions based on her new book, She Deserves Better, and tackle topics of:-The dating rule that works best -How we can talk about clothing choices without causing body image issues or blaming girls boys' thoughts -How to talk about saving sex without idolizing virginity or creating sexual anxiety-How we can protect our daughters from a church hurt that could send them fleeing from the faithJoin us for this insightful and helpful conversation!Grab our planner, Design My Day, here: https://awifelikeme.com/design-my-dayFind out your Wife Type in less than 3 minutes, here: https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/63b9c12b3108f50016d71ba7Grab our FREE marriage resources, here: https://awifelikeme.com/subscribe-to-a-wife-like-meGrab our book, Dear Wife, here: https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Wife-Invitations-Practice-Connection/dp/0578470594Support the show
Dan and Stephanie are excited to have back as our guest, Sheila Gregoire. While we push back on the modesty and purity movement along with courtship teachings that encourage rules and roles, we speak to the truth of abstinence and reserving sex for marriage while teaching both men and women to respect boundaries versus putting all the responsibility on girls/women.We will discuss the new book, She Deserves Better. The publisher's notes about the book:What if the most common teachings girls hear in youth groups make them more likely to marry an abuser? Less likely to understand consent? And more likely to blame themselves if they are assaulted?Parents want their daughters to thrive--to be strong, confident, and equipped to step into the life God has for them. But is the church working against them? Armed with data from an all-new survey of more than 7,000 women, the authors of The Great Sex Rescue, Sheila WrayGregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and Joanna Sawatsky, reveal how experiences in church as teens affect women's self-esteem and relationships today in their new book She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, andSpeaking Up.They expose common evangelical teachings that can backfire: the purity emphasis that can cause shame rather than good choices, the dating rules that can prime girls for abuse, and the one overarching belief that can keep them from setting healthy boundaries.This book tackles tough topics like:• The dating rule that works best—except when it doesn't(and why we need nuance)• How we can talk about clothing choices without causingbody image issues or blaming girls for boys' thoughts• How to talk about saving sex without idolizing virginity orcreating sexual anxiety• How we can protect our daughters from a church hurtthat could send them fleeing the faith• And so much moreAbout Our Guest:Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind ToLoveHonorandVacuum.com, the largest single-blogger marriage blog. She's also an award-winning author of nine books, including The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex, and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila is passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to line up with kingdom principles.Sheila lives in Ontario, Canada, with her husband. They have two adult daughters and two grandbabies.
Guest Bios Show Transcript Is the church conditioning women to think less of themselves? And do the most common teachings girls hear in youth group make them more likely to marry an abuser? Less likely to understand consent? And more likely to blame themselves if they're assaulted? In this edition of The Roys Report, we'll explore these topics with Sheila Wray Gregoire, author of a fantastic book exposing toxic church teachings on sex and women titled She Deserves Better.
Links to things mentioned:Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to our exclusive Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more!Our new book She Deserves Better!Aimee Byrd's book Recovering from Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, and her new book The Sexual ReformationAimee Byrd's story of the bullying she went through in her denomination, and some more recent thoughts on the aftermath. Take the submission quiz yourself! It starts on p. 30 of this download, but you can also find the "bellies are intoxicating" on p. 24. The modesty podcast where we talked about the "bellies are intoxicating" statement. Our Hazardous Materials stickers to put on books you're concerned about
Hello, Neighbor! This is Part 2 of the Car Conversation, while John Branyan travels with The Peaches down to southern Indiana for a show.Have you read Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis? That story provides a great analogy for how a High King needs to behave when it's time to take responsibility. Then--a Feminist author, Sheila Wray Gregoire, shared an old video clip from the original Candid Camera show. "Who says girls and women aren't visual creatures?!?!" (Answer: Um, nobody.) The young ladies are making eyes at their handsome new teacher, and it's all caught on film. But why do the Feminists think this is helping their case at all? Those girls are precisely the ones who need to be told not to dress provocatively just to get the teacher's attention. Later: These women clearly need to be disciplined (not whatever they have in mind when claiming "She Deserves Better"). But who's supposed to do the disciplining? Who has authority over them? The Peaches make the case that perhaps this is a MOTHERHOOD crisis and not a Fatherhood one. Perhaps it's the mature WOMEN who are supposed to tell these little girls-in-grown-bodies that they're embarassing us and giving womanhood a bad name. But...women are being taught to use "Gentle Parenting" techniques with their toddlers. So there's a lack of confidence in authoritative discipleship... Finally: What's going to happen in the next 20 years, when 5th-Wave Feminism has completely "liberated" women from all morality? When Modesty is a derogatory term, and it's hate speech to say women are sinners, too...then what will the big crusade be against? They probably will wage war against all references to Jesus Himself. Contact the Comedian by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Also, come on vacation with The Comedian and his funny friends/family. Registrations closes soon! Get the details about Vacay with Comics on johnbranyan.com before it's too late!
Hello, Neighbor! This is Part 2 of the Car Conversation, while John Branyan travels with The Peaches down to southern Indiana for a show.Have you read Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis? That story provides a great analogy for how a High King needs to behave when it's time to take responsibility. Then--a Feminist author, Sheila Wray Gregoire, shared an old video clip from the original Candid Camera show. "Who says girls and women aren't visual creatures?!?!" (Answer: Um, nobody.) The young ladies are making eyes at their handsome new teacher, and it's all caught on film. But why do the Feminists think this is helping their case at all? Those girls are precisely the ones who need to be told not to dress provocatively just to get the teacher's attention. Later: These women clearly need to be disciplined (not whatever they have in mind when claiming "She Deserves Better"). But who's supposed to do the disciplining? Who has authority over them? The Peaches make the case that perhaps this is a MOTHERHOOD crisis and not a Fatherhood one. Perhaps it's the mature WOMEN who are supposed to tell these little girls-in-grown-bodies that they're embarassing us and giving womanhood a bad name. But...women are being taught to use "Gentle Parenting" techniques with their toddlers. So there's a lack of confidence in authoritative discipleship... Finally: What's going to happen in the next 20 years, when 5th-Wave Feminism has completely "liberated" women from all morality? When Modesty is a derogatory term, and it's hate speech to say women are sinners, too...then what will the big crusade be against? They probably will wage war against all references to Jesus Himself. Contact the Comedian by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Also, come on vacation with The Comedian and his funny friends/family. Registrations closes soon! Get the details about Vacay with Comics on johnbranyan.com before it's too late!
Hello, Neighbor! This is Part 2 of the Car Conversation, while John Branyan travels with The Peaches down to southern Indiana for a show.Have you read Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis? That story provides a great analogy for how a High King needs to behave when it's time to take responsibility. Then--a Feminist author, Sheila Wray Gregoire, shared an old video clip from the original Candid Camera show. "Who says girls and women aren't visual creatures?!?!" (Answer: Um, nobody.) The young ladies are making eyes at their handsome new teacher, and it's all caught on film. But why do the Feminists think this is helping their case at all? Those girls are precisely the ones who need to be told not to dress provocatively just to get the teacher's attention. Later: These women clearly need to be disciplined (not whatever they have in mind when claiming "She Deserves Better"). But who's supposed to do the disciplining? Who has authority over them? The Peaches make the case that perhaps this is a MOTHERHOOD crisis and not a Fatherhood one. Perhaps it's the mature WOMEN who are supposed to tell these little girls-in-grown-bodies that they're embarassing us and giving womanhood a bad name. But...women are being taught to use "Gentle Parenting" techniques with their toddlers. So there's a lack of confidence in authoritative discipleship... Finally: What's going to happen in the next 20 years, when 5th-Wave Feminism has completely "liberated" women from all morality? When Modesty is a derogatory term, and it's hate speech to say women are sinners, too...then what will the big crusade be against? They probably will wage war against all references to Jesus Himself. Contact the Comedian by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Also, come on vacation with The Comedian and his funny friends/family. Registrations closes soon! Get the details about Vacay with Comics on johnbranyan.com before it's too late!
Welcome to the Impactus Podcast; we're here to equip men for a life of purpose and godly impact. In this episode, we are joined by Sheila Wray Gregoire, co-author of the book "She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, and Speaking Up." What if some Christian teachings have damaged our daughters and taught them to be small and invisible? What if some of the most common teaching girls hear in the church today make them more likely to marry an abuser, less likely to understand consent, and more likely to blame themselves if they're assaulted? Sheila, along with her daughter Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach and Joanna Sawatsky, conducted a survey of over 7,000 women and found some startling results. In their book, "She Deserves Better," the authors expose common evangelical teachings that can backfire, causing shame instead of good choices. They delve into the purity movement, which can lead to shame and unrealistic expectations, and the strict dating rules that can prime girls for abuse. They also address the belief that girls should be small and invisible, which can prevent them from setting healthy boundaries and speaking up for themselves. This conversation is especially important for fathers or those who hope to be fathers, but it is relevant for everyone. It's time to have a frank conversation about how Christian teachings can harm young girls and how we can do better. Tune in to the Impactus Podcast to learn more about raising girls to resist toxic teachings and live a life of purpose and godly impact. This conversation gets into some sensitive topics. So, if the little ones are around or you're listening on the drive to school, please be warned that this episode may be better heard without young ears. She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self and Speaking Up Bare Marriage Website Bare Marriage Podcast Spotify Apple
Hello, Neighbor! This is Part 2 of the Car Conversation, while John Branyan travels with The Peaches down to southern Indiana for a show.Have you read Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis? That story provides a great analogy for how a High King needs to behave when it's time to take responsibility. Then--a Feminist author, Sheila Wray Gregoire, shared an old video clip from the original Candid Camera show. "Who says girls and women aren't visual creatures?!?!" (Answer: Um, nobody.) The young ladies are making eyes at their handsome new teacher, and it's all caught on film. But why do the Feminists think this is helping their case at all? Those girls are precisely the ones who need to be told not to dress provocatively just to get the teacher's attention. Later: These women clearly need to be disciplined (not whatever they have in mind when claiming "She Deserves Better"). But who's supposed to do the disciplining? Who has authority over them? The Peaches make the case that perhaps this is a MOTHERHOOD crisis and not a Fatherhood one. Perhaps it's the mature WOMEN who are supposed to tell these little girls-in-grown-bodies that they're embarassing us and giving womanhood a bad name. But...women are being taught to use "Gentle Parenting" techniques with their toddlers. So there's a lack of confidence in authoritative discipleship... Finally: What's going to happen in the next 20 years, when 5th-Wave Feminism has completely "liberated" women from all morality? When Modesty is a derogatory term, and it's hate speech to say women are sinners, too...then what will the big crusade be against? They probably will wage war against all references to Jesus Himself. Contact the Comedian by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Also, come on vacation with The Comedian and his funny friends/family. Registrations closes soon! Get the details about Vacay with Comics on johnbranyan.com before it's too late!
Links to things mentioned:Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to our exclusive Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more!Our new book She Deserves Better!Zachary Wagner's book Non-Toxic Masculinity, plus find Zachary on TwitterOur Hazardous Materials stickers to put on books you're concerned aboutThe Instagram Reel from thatdarnchat
Sheila Wray Gregoire on She Deserves Better: Redefining Women's WorthGet ready to delve into the fascinating world of sex, marriage, and the impact of messaging on girls' lives in this episode of A World of Difference. Host Lori Adams-Brown is joined by Sheila Wray Gregoire, an acclaimed Canadian author, speaker, and the brains behind Bare Marriage. Sheila's new book, She Deserves Better, is the talk of the town, an insightful read based on extensive research on the messages girls are exposed to and how they shape their lives. But what makes Sheila stand out is her no-nonsense, hilarious take on sex and marriage, always aligning her conversations with biblical principles. Tune in as she chats with Lori about her latest work, her passion for her craft, and ways to live a fulfilling life. If you're looking for a fun yet incredibly insightful listen, then this episode is for you.Long SummaryGet ready to discover a new world of difference with Lori Adams-Brown, host of the A World of Difference Podcast! This episode features award-winning author, sought-after speaker, and the face behind the website Bare Marriage, Sheila Wray Gregoire. With her newest book, She Deserves Better, Sheila and her team have been conducting extensive research on how messages given to girls have affected their lives, particularly in school. If you're eager to learn about research conclusions and insights that can help you move forward in life in a healthier way, then this episode is perfect for you. Sheila's passion for changing evangelical conversations about sex and marriage to align with biblical principles is contagious, and her insights are guaranteed to change the way you think about these topics. If you've ever wondered how female students are impacted by what they read in school, you absolutely cannot miss this episode! Join Lori and Sheila as they dive into an informative and engaging conversation about how faith, sexuality, and education intersect. This podcast episode promises to be compelling, thought-provoking, and galvanizing. You won't want to miss out on this one! Tune in now to A World of Difference Podcast, and discover the world of difference for yourself!Timestamps[00:00:02] Sheila Ray Gregoire on "She Deserves BetterEpisode LinksBaremarriage.comBest Quotes[00:00:41] She and her team, including her daughter, have been doing more research around what it's messages have been given to girls in particular and what those messages have meant for them and in terms of how their lives have panned out in different areas and specific wording was chosen based on particular books that they may have read or been taught from those books and just very, very detailed research and it's very insightful, the research conclusions as well as what she was able to write in this book in terms of tools on how to move forward in a healthier way together[00:01:34] She's passionate about changing the evangelical conversations about sex and marriage to line up with what Kingdom principles are in the bible and the scriptures itself[00:00:13] Sheila Ray Greg Greguire, 1 of our favorite Canadians and guests that's been on the show before[00:01:31] She is humorous and has a very no nonsense approachOther MaterialsThese materials help you promote your podcast. Quotes can be used for audio & video grams or quote cards. Blog and social posts will help your website and social media presence.All Quotes[00:00:13] Sheila Wray Gregoire, 1 of our favorite Canadians and guest that's...
Sheila Wray Gregoire on She Deserves Better: Redefining Women's WorthGet ready to delve into the fascinating world of sex, marriage, and the impact of messaging on girls' lives in this episode of A World of Difference. Host Lori Adams-Brown is joined by Sheila Wray Gregoire, an acclaimed Canadian author, speaker, and the brains behind Bare Marriage. Sheila's new book, She Deserves Better, is the talk of the town, an insightful read based on extensive research on the messages girls are exposed to and how they shape their lives. But what makes Sheila stand out is her no-nonsense, hilarious take on sex and marriage, always aligning her conversations with biblical principles. Tune in as she chats with Lori about her latest work, her passion for her craft, and ways to live a fulfilling life. If you're looking for a fun yet incredibly insightful listen, then this episode is for you.Get ready to discover a new world of difference with Lori Adams-Brown, host of the A World of Difference Podcast! This episode features award-winning author, sought-after speaker, and the face behind the website Bare Marriage, Sheila Wray Gregoire. With her newest book, She Deserves Better, Sheila and her team have been conducting extensive research on how messages given to girls have affected their lives, particularly in school. If you're eager to learn about research conclusions and insights that can help you move forward in life in a healthier way, then this episode is perfect for you. Sheila's passion for changing evangelical conversations about sex and marriage to align with biblical principles is contagious, and her insights are guaranteed to change the way you think about these topics. If you've ever wondered how female students are impacted by what they read in school, you absolutely cannot miss this episode! Join Lori and Sheila as they dive into an informative and engaging conversation about how faith, sexuality, and education intersect. This podcast episode promises to be compelling, thought-provoking, and galvanizing. You won't want to miss out on this one! Tune in now to A World of Difference Podcast, and discover the world of difference for yourself!Timestamps[00:00:02] Sheila Ray Gregoire on "She Deserves BetterEpisode LinksBaremarriage.comHere are three invaluable tips that girls can learn from 'She Deserves Better':1. Be your own hero – Sheila's research shows that many young girls tend to rely on external validation to feel good about themselves. In her book, she stresses the importance of being your own hero and learning to love yourself for who you are.2. Speak up – Girls are often taught to keep quiet and not make a fuss, but Sheila's research shows that speaking up is crucial in today's world. Whether it's about your career, your relationships or your own well-being, it's important to let your voice be heard.3. Embrace vulnerability – Vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, but Sheila's research shows that it can be a strength. By being vulnerable and open, girls can connect with others on a deeper level and build stronger, more meaningful relationships.If you want to learn more about how you can take control of your life and be the best version of yourself, then you need to listen to the latest episode of A World of Different's Podcast featuring Sheila Wray Gregoire. Her insights and advice are invaluable and can help you transform your life for the better.The Great Sex Rescue: How Sheila Wray Gregoire is Changing the Conversation About Sex and...
She Deserves Better: Overcoming Toxic Teachings About Sex - with Sheila Gregoire Did you grow up believing what you now realize was toxic teaching on sex? Maybe your church, youth group, or family told you that as a girl you were somehow responsible for the lust of men. Yep. We're going there. Joining us on today's episode is popular author and speaker, Sheila Gregoire, who co-wrote the book She Deserves Better. Sheila and I talk about some of the toxic teachings on sex that the evangelical church (and other entities) promoted. Some of these teachings include things like, “Boys will be boys,” and “Girls are a stumbling block for men,” which in a sense is teaching men that they are not responsible for their own lust, but girls are. We also talk about how parents, moms especially, can shift the conversation from blaming young women for the sexual advances and inappropriateness of others. Toxic Teaching on Sex Can Be Triggering As you listen, you may be triggered by some of the toxic teaching on sex, especially if you were hurt by adults you trusted. This podcast is not meant to stir up those feelings, but it is meant to be a breath of fresh air that we no longer have to repeat these teachings to our daughters (or sons!). She deserves better, and so do you. It's time we start telling the truth about modesty, purity, lust, and sin. It's time we put the responsibility back on those in whom it belongs. It's time we start living in the freedom that Christ gives and not allowing ourselves to be “under a yoke of bondage” (Galatians 5:1). Does this mean we should throw modesty and purity out of the window? Absolutely not. It means that we learn to have the right conversations and we teach a balanced, biblical, and honest view of sexuality and its expressions. Be sure to listen to the full episode and be ready to rethink how you've believed or how you believe. Links Mentioned in this Episode Register for the Thrive Marriage Mastermind Get Sheila's Book: She Deserves Better Listen to Sheila's Podcast Episode 24: Rethinking Intimacy: Rethinking Sex with Sheila Gregoire SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The Comedian and the Peaches are in the car, taking a trip to southern Indiana. Come along for the ride! (Our GPS made the recorder glitch between the 13:00 and 14:00 minute mark... But it cleared up after that.) We'll kick it off with a riveting conversation about the benefits of being short--and the disorienting effect of new eye-glasses... Then, let's talk about the evolving role of a mother as her children grow in maturity. She has to be able to shift from "agreeableness" to a more "disagreeable" framework. What are the strengths and weaknesses of Agreeable/Disagreeable People? Typically women are more "agreeable," because they are equipped to deal with infants--who are very needy and dependent and can't be held to a higher standard until they've grown. It's easier to be the least mature person in a very mature system than to be the most mature person in a very immature system. Everyone wants to be the Baby of a very stable family--and no one wants to be the Manager of a whole bunch of babies! Later: We have more to say about Sheila Wray Gregoire, who released a book this week called "She Deserves Better." Why are so many Evangelical MEN afraid to call out these Feminists? Well, short version: they are hesitant for the same reason many women/moms don't want to discipline their own kids. (It feels Too Authoritative.) Books like "She Deserves Better" is creating perpetually immature women...girls who use their tears to get what they want. And, ironically, her whole strategy depends on men playing the role of Mommies who take care of these Baby Girls. Women have a big challenge in raising their children: constantly growing WITH them. "How do we know when it's time to comfort them and when it's time to challenge them?!" That's a very good question. And, just when we start to get a routine that seems to work for everyone, it's time for a growth spurt. When you try to sell a cookie-cutter message to EVERY girl/woman in the church, you are trying to sell a silver bullet formula that won't work for most girls/women. Finally: Being empowered means having responsibility. If you have power, you are capable of abusing it. But no one is warning these women about how to use their power, once it's given to them... Which is a recipe for disaster.-PITSTOP-You can reach out to the Comedian, John Branyan, by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
The Comedian and the Peaches are in the car, taking a trip to southern Indiana. Come along for the ride! (Our GPS made the recorder glitch between the 13:00 and 14:00 minute mark... But it cleared up after that.) We'll kick it off with a riveting conversation about the benefits of being short--and the disorienting effect of new eye-glasses... Then, let's talk about the evolving role of a mother as her children grow in maturity. She has to be able to shift from "agreeableness" to a more "disagreeable" framework. What are the strengths and weaknesses of Agreeable/Disagreeable People? Typically women are more "agreeable," because they are equipped to deal with infants--who are very needy and dependent and can't be held to a higher standard until they've grown. It's easier to be the least mature person in a very mature system than to be the most mature person in a very immature system. Everyone wants to be the Baby of a very stable family--and no one wants to be the Manager of a whole bunch of babies! Later: We have more to say about Sheila Wray Gregoire, who released a book this week called "She Deserves Better." Why are so many Evangelical MEN afraid to call out these Feminists? Well, short version: they are hesitant for the same reason many women/moms don't want to discipline their own kids. (It feels Too Authoritative.) Books like "She Deserves Better" is creating perpetually immature women...girls who use their tears to get what they want. And, ironically, her whole strategy depends on men playing the role of Mommies who take care of these Baby Girls. Women have a big challenge in raising their children: constantly growing WITH them. "How do we know when it's time to comfort them and when it's time to challenge them?!" That's a very good question. And, just when we start to get a routine that seems to work for everyone, it's time for a growth spurt. When you try to sell a cookie-cutter message to EVERY girl/woman in the church, you are trying to sell a silver bullet formula that won't work for most girls/women. Finally: Being empowered means having responsibility. If you have power, you are capable of abusing it. But no one is warning these women about how to use their power, once it's given to them... Which is a recipe for disaster.-PITSTOP-You can reach out to the Comedian, John Branyan, by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
The Comedian and the Peaches are in the car, taking a trip to southern Indiana. Come along for the ride! (Our GPS made the recorder glitch between the 13:00 and 14:00 minute mark... But it cleared up after that.) We'll kick it off with a riveting conversation about the benefits of being short--and the disorienting effect of new eye-glasses... Then, let's talk about the evolving role of a mother as her children grow in maturity. She has to be able to shift from "agreeableness" to a more "disagreeable" framework. What are the strengths and weaknesses of Agreeable/Disagreeable People? Typically women are more "agreeable," because they are equipped to deal with infants--who are very needy and dependent and can't be held to a higher standard until they've grown. It's easier to be the least mature person in a very mature system than to be the most mature person in a very immature system. Everyone wants to be the Baby of a very stable family--and no one wants to be the Manager of a whole bunch of babies! Later: We have more to say about Sheila Wray Gregoire, who released a book this week called "She Deserves Better." Why are so many Evangelical MEN afraid to call out these Feminists? Well, short version: they are hesitant for the same reason many women/moms don't want to discipline their own kids. (It feels Too Authoritative.) Books like "She Deserves Better" is creating perpetually immature women...girls who use their tears to get what they want. And, ironically, her whole strategy depends on men playing the role of Mommies who take care of these Baby Girls. Women have a big challenge in raising their children: constantly growing WITH them. "How do we know when it's time to comfort them and when it's time to challenge them?!" That's a very good question. And, just when we start to get a routine that seems to work for everyone, it's time for a growth spurt. When you try to sell a cookie-cutter message to EVERY girl/woman in the church, you are trying to sell a silver bullet formula that won't work for most girls/women. Finally: Being empowered means having responsibility. If you have power, you are capable of abusing it. But no one is warning these women about how to use their power, once it's given to them... Which is a recipe for disaster.-PITSTOP-You can reach out to the Comedian, John Branyan, by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
Links to things mentioned:Our new book She Deserves Better:https://baremarriage.com/she-deserves-better/Support us for as little as $5 a month, and get access to unfiltered podcasts, our exclusive Facebook group, and more. Join our Patreon!https://patreon.com/baremarriageThe Instagram Reel from 247 Marriage:https://www.instagram.com/reel/CnetOgDhM1S/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_linkThe podcast where we discussed "Girls Talk Too Much":https://baremarriage.com/2023/03/do-women-talk-more-than-men-podcast/The podcast where we were talking about how boys had to be superheroes:https://baremarriage.com/2023/04/podcast-on-nice-guy-syndrome-and-boundaries/If you're going to pull something out of your butt, it's probably crap merch:https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/out-your-butt/Anti-Rape Raccoon Merch:https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/rabid-racoon/Other Merch:https://sheilawraygregoire.com/shop/
Welcome, Neighbor! John went to see "Nefarious" at the theater, and it was quite the experience... These previews are NOT approved for all audiences. He shares his favorite quote from the movie, and admits he generally enjoyed watching Satan beat the Atheist. The following is a much longer-than-intended discussion about the use of language, violence, and gratuitous sex in Rated R movies. (See: "Boobs and Swords") Also, on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, we reminisce about an old made-for-TV special that's near and dear to our hearts... Later: let's talk about a book that's being promoted to Christian women, but let's pretend to censor the author's name. "Shasta McGwire" is about to release a book called "She Deserves Better." The premise is the church uses a double standard when teaching boys and girls about sex/modesty. (We've never heard that before, right?) It's not faaaaaaaaaair, Neighbor! John doesn't want to call out the author by name, because he doesn't want to deal with their shrieking and finger-wagging. In other words, he doesn't love them enough to tolerate their tantrums in order to tell them something they need to hear. (That's probably what led to thousands of spoiled, insufferable women in the first place...their parents felt the same way when they were young.) The obvious question, though, is: "She deserves better THAN WHAT?" The Bible says we discipline children when we LOVE them. Only a fool despises wisdom and learning. So what's with all these "adult" Christian women, complaining that they're getting more discipline than their brothers? Even if it's true (and it's not), why are women demanding to be treated with Kid Gloves?There's nothing BETTER than holding someone to a very, very, very, very high standard. If you don't, they turn into whiney, self-sorrying Feminists. (Or self-pitying. Whichever you prefer.)Contact The Comedian Next Door by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Also, time is running out to join us on vacation! Vacay with Comics is happening July 28th-30th. Details are here: http://johnbranyan.com/vacay-with-comics-2/
Welcome, Neighbor! John went to see "Nefarious" at the theater, and it was quite the experience... These previews are NOT approved for all audiences. He shares his favorite quote from the movie, and admits he generally enjoyed watching Satan beat the Atheist. The following is a much longer-than-intended discussion about the use of language, violence, and gratuitous sex in Rated R movies. (See: "Boobs and Swords") Also, on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, we reminisce about an old made-for-TV special that's near and dear to our hearts... Later: let's talk about a book that's being promoted to Christian women, but let's pretend to censor the author's name. "Shasta McGwire" is about to release a book called "She Deserves Better." The premise is the church uses a double standard when teaching boys and girls about sex/modesty. (We've never heard that before, right?) It's not faaaaaaaaaair, Neighbor! John doesn't want to call out the author by name, because he doesn't want to deal with their shrieking and finger-wagging. In other words, he doesn't love them enough to tolerate their tantrums in order to tell them something they need to hear. (That's probably what led to thousands of spoiled, insufferable women in the first place...their parents felt the same way when they were young.) The obvious question, though, is: "She deserves better THAN WHAT?" The Bible says we discipline children when we LOVE them. Only a fool despises wisdom and learning. So what's with all these "adult" Christian women, complaining that they're getting more discipline than their brothers? Even if it's true (and it's not), why are women demanding to be treated with Kid Gloves?There's nothing BETTER than holding someone to a very, very, very, very high standard. If you don't, they turn into whiney, self-sorrying Feminists. (Or self-pitying. Whichever you prefer.)Contact The Comedian Next Door by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Also, time is running out to join us on vacation! Vacay with Comics is happening July 28th-30th. Details are here: http://johnbranyan.com/vacay-with-comics-2/
Welcome, Neighbor! John went to see "Nefarious" at the theater, and it was quite the experience... These previews are NOT approved for all audiences. He shares his favorite quote from the movie, and admits he generally enjoyed watching Satan beat the Atheist. The following is a much longer-than-intended discussion about the use of language, violence, and gratuitous sex in Rated R movies. (See: "Boobs and Swords") Also, on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, we reminisce about an old made-for-TV special that's near and dear to our hearts... Later: let's talk about a book that's being promoted to Christian women, but let's pretend to censor the author's name. "Shasta McGwire" is about to release a book called "She Deserves Better." The premise is the church uses a double standard when teaching boys and girls about sex/modesty. (We've never heard that before, right?) It's not faaaaaaaaaair, Neighbor! John doesn't want to call out the author by name, because he doesn't want to deal with their shrieking and finger-wagging. In other words, he doesn't love them enough to tolerate their tantrums in order to tell them something they need to hear. (That's probably what led to thousands of spoiled, insufferable women in the first place...their parents felt the same way when they were young.) The obvious question, though, is: "She deserves better THAN WHAT?" The Bible says we discipline children when we LOVE them. Only a fool despises wisdom and learning. So what's with all these "adult" Christian women, complaining that they're getting more discipline than their brothers? Even if it's true (and it's not), why are women demanding to be treated with Kid Gloves?There's nothing BETTER than holding someone to a very, very, very, very high standard. If you don't, they turn into whiney, self-sorrying Feminists. (Or self-pitying. Whichever you prefer.)Contact The Comedian Next Door by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Also, time is running out to join us on vacation! Vacay with Comics is happening July 28th-30th. Details are here: http://johnbranyan.com/vacay-with-comics-2/
Welcome, Neighbor! John went to see "Nefarious" at the theater, and it was quite the experience... These previews are NOT approved for all audiences. He shares his favorite quote from the movie, and admits he generally enjoyed watching Satan beat the Atheist. The following is a much longer-than-intended discussion about the use of language, violence, and gratuitous sex in Rated R movies. (See: "Boobs and Swords") Also, on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, we reminisce about an old made-for-TV special that's near and dear to our hearts... Later: let's talk about a book that's being promoted to Christian women, but let's pretend to censor the author's name. "Shasta McGwire" is about to release a book called "She Deserves Better." The premise is the church uses a double standard when teaching boys and girls about sex/modesty. (We've never heard that before, right?) It's not faaaaaaaaaair, Neighbor! John doesn't want to call out the author by name, because he doesn't want to deal with their shrieking and finger-wagging. In other words, he doesn't love them enough to tolerate their tantrums in order to tell them something they need to hear. (That's probably what led to thousands of spoiled, insufferable women in the first place...their parents felt the same way when they were young.) The obvious question, though, is: "She deserves better THAN WHAT?" The Bible says we discipline children when we LOVE them. Only a fool despises wisdom and learning. So what's with all these "adult" Christian women, complaining that they're getting more discipline than their brothers? Even if it's true (and it's not), why are women demanding to be treated with Kid Gloves?There's nothing BETTER than holding someone to a very, very, very, very high standard. If you don't, they turn into whiney, self-sorrying Feminists. (Or self-pitying. Whichever you prefer.)Contact The Comedian Next Door by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Also, time is running out to join us on vacation! Vacay with Comics is happening July 28th-30th. Details are here: http://johnbranyan.com/vacay-with-comics-2/
Sheila Gregoire returns! Sheila talks with Brad about her new book She Deserves Better, a guide for parents to help equip daughters with the tools to navigate sex and sexuality. It includes data-driven insights about how to raise a woman who is resilient, knows her strength, and has the discernment skills needed to make good choices. You can buy this book as well as other great books by Sheila HERE. I am sad to report this is Brad and David's last episode as hosts of Everything is OK Podcast. We spend some time at the beginning of the episode reflecting on the years together, incredible guests we have spent time getting to know, and look to a bright future for Everything is OK Podcast. We love y'all and will miss these times dearly. music creditsScales of Motion - Constellations www.everythingisok.net
Hey Brave Marriage Podcast listeners! Dropping in an episode with friend of the show and former podcast guest, Sheila Wray Gregoire. Sheila and her team at Bare Marriage have written a new book for millennial mothers and daughters called She Deserves Better. Their latest book builds upon a lot of the research outcomes they published in The Great Sex Rescue, and answers the question that many are asking the evangelical church which is: “Where do we go from here?”If you're not familiar with her work, Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind the largest single-blogger marriage blog, which was rebranded a few years ago to Bare Marriage. With her witty, no-nonsense approach, Sheila and her team are passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to line up with kingdom principles. Sheila is based in Ontario, Canada, where she lives with her husband and has two adult daughters and two grandchildren. Resource Links:Ep. 142 - A Couple's Guide to Great SexShe Deserves BetterThe Great Sex RescueBare Marriage BlogSelf of the Therapist (Kensi's Substack)Podcast Editing by: Kensi & Evan DuszynskiMusic by: John Tibbs
Purchase a copy of She Deserves Better: https://amzn.to/40NMYZzArmed with data from an all-new survey of over 7,000 women, the authors of The Great Sex Rescue reveal how experiences in church as teens affect women's self-esteem and relationships today. They expose common evangelical teachings that can backfire--the purity emphasis that can cause shame rather than good choices, the dating rules that can prime your daughter for abuse, and the one overarching belief that can keep her from setting healthy boundaries.Instead, the authors advocate biblically grounded, freeing messages that are more about the dos and less about the don'ts. By reframing (and sometimes replacing) common evangelical messages to teen girls, this book will equip you to raise a daughter who can navigate the tumultuous teenage years while still clinging tightly to Jesus.You can raise your daughter with the discernment to resist toxic teachings. Because she deserves better than a faith that keeps her small.Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarriage.com, an award-winning author, and a sought-after speaker. Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach is a psychology graduate, Sheila's daughter, and the author of Why I Didn't Rebel. Joanna Sawatsky has a master's degree in public health and is a trained microbiologist, epidemiologist, and biostatistician.Together they are the coauthors of The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better.Purchase a copy of The Great Sex Rescue: https://amzn.to/414EmgW________________Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast________________Find more stories regarding the IFB movement by visiting:– preacherboysdoc.com– https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/– https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc-– https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Things mentioned in our Podcast!Our Patreon! Thank you for supporting us and helping us fund our research. You can join us for as little as $5 a month!Jasmine Holmes' new book Never Cast Out! Plus find her on Instagram. Jasmine on our podcast a few months ago talking about her book Carved in Ebony.Our book She Deserves Better! Pre-order it and get access to our bonuses.
Links to things mentioned:Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month!Our new book She Deserves Better! Send in your pre-order receipts for lots of pre-order bonuses. Study on Himpathy on what makes people sympathize with perpetrators rather than victimsJenna Mountain's counseling center Aspen Haus
Today we are joined by Sheila Wray Gregoire to discuss her new book, She Deserves Better, and how we can help the next generation of women have a healthy view of sex and sexuality in our homes and churches! Sheila is an author, podcaster, and researcher into evangelicalism and sex. The founder of BareMarriage.com, together with her team she has surveyed over 32,000 people for her books The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better. Her goal is to change the evangelical conversation about sex to be healthy, evidence-based, and rooted in Christ. A graduate of Queen's University, she's married to her husband Keith, a pediatrician, who writes and speaks with her.https://baremarriage.comhttps://instagram.com/sheilagregoirehttps://facebook.com/sheila.gregoire.bookshttps://twitter.com/sheilagregoire https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdO1v4LdyqZV-m_VMlH5VGghttps://greatsexrescue.com/You can find the Holy Ship @theholyship.podcast or at theholyship.podcast@gmail.com
Links to things mentioned:Our book She Deserves Better! Pre-order it now (it helps us a ton), and then on Monday I'll give you information on how you can join the launch team. Sign up for my email list so you don't miss out on joining the launch teamA study of gender differences in children and number of words spoken (hint, not much of a difference)An article explaining the issue of faulty claims, and giving the results of a study inspired by these faulty claims.The Mendelberg and Karpowitz study of gendered speech in mixed groups with decision-making
Should we kiss dating good-bye? In purity culture, we made dating a sin. But what does the data actually say about how dating affects teen girls? In today's Bare Marriage podcast, we share our findings from our survey of 7000 women!Things Mentioned in the Podcast:Our new book She Deserves Better, which launches April 18! It helps us immensely when you pre-order!Sign up for my email list to be notified about how you can join the launch team!Our book The Great Sex RescueThe University of Georgia study on teens who don't date
This is a sensitive topic, so I decided to seek out the only author whose book I have ever read cover to cover and whose research and words have truly helped my marriage. Turns out, she’s also been ready by my whole team! Meet Sheila Gregoire, author of The Great Sex Rescue, She Deserves Better, [...]
Links to things mentioned:Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month, and you can get access to our awesome Facebook group, our unfiltered podcasts, and more!This is the LAST WEEK to get the ebook for The Great Sex Rescue for just $2.99! On February 1 it goes up to its regular price!The Orgasm Course! If this is a struggle for you, we can help. https://baremarriage.com/the-orgasm-course/Our new book She Deserves Better is out in April! You can pre-order it now.My post Bring Back Vanilla Sex, that a lot of this podcast was based on.
Links to things mentioned:Our Merch–mugs, t-shirts, canvas wall hangings and more that are great for Christmas gifts and stocking stuffers. Check out our Love & Respect collection, our Biblical Womanhood collection, and especially our Be a Biblical Woman collection!Our Patreon–join for as little as $5 a month and help support our research!A brief synopsis of the learned helplessness experiments with dogs, and then a run down on the learned helplessness experiment in the classroom. Plus you can watch a video of the classroom experiments here! (great to watch with teens).Our orgasm course for women struggling with orgasmSam Tielemans' couples counselingOur upcoming book She Deserves Better–you can pre-order it now!
Links to things mentioned:Our Patreon! Our patrons have helped us have the time and flexibility to write She Deserves Better (out in April), along with the stats for The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex. Right now Joanna is working on two different peer-reviewed papers, and our next big project we'd like to fund is creating a database of good and bad books. You can support us for as little as $5 a month, and get behind-the-scenes access! Support us here. Our Merch! Check out our merch, including our Be a Biblical Woman merch, and you'll help support us too!Our Marriage Misdiagnosis Series. Start here, and then you can follow the links on the bottom of the posts for everything else.Our rubric and scorecard of how the different books fared, including The Power of a Praying Wife.My Instagram post of John Piper's horrible advice. Follow me there for more Fixed it For Yous!
So y'all know I try to be as transparent as possible when I deliver a message I feel like anything short of transparency is cheating you. . . So I'm going to be real, I'm tired of this version of me, I just think about God and how much he's blessed me and my family God deserves better from me . . I think about my wife and the sacrifices she makes in a. Daily basis , SHE DESERVES BETTER. . I think about my kids , THEY DESERVE BETTER and I think about you and the youth I serve YOU ALL DESERVE BETTER from me. . . This is my motivation to elevate my game and become that better version IM INSPIRED and I can't wait to meet the new version of me. . . My only question to you is : who deserves better from you. Who do you need to become better for.
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