Podcasts about ohp

Step into the squeaky blue plastic chairs of yesteryear as this episode of our 90s nostalgia podcast takes you back to the glorious chaos of British school life in the 1990s. From answering the register too early (a social death sentence) to the unspoken rules of the pencil case hierarchy, we're diving into the details that made school in the 90s an unforgettable blend of awkward, hilarious, and occasionally traumatic moments. We reminisce about the horror of forgetting your PE kit, the misery of lost property boxes that smelled like regret, and the quiet panic of mufti day wardrobe decisions. Whether you were the kid with a Woolworths multi-compartment pencil case or someone scribbling with a chewed-up biro, you'll recognise the everyday drama that came with trying to survive the playground and the classroom alike. Remember the reverence for Parker pens? Or the moment a TV trolley wheeled into the room, promising a blessed break from long division? From recorder lessons that sounded like a goose fight to the magical healing powers of green paper towels, we relive the bizarre, brilliant details of 90s school culture with the affection only time can bring. We also celebrate the rituals that shaped us – forging sick notes, jostling for seats on school trip coaches, pretending to understand blurry OHP slides, and typing “5318008” into calculators with absolute glee. These moments didn't just define our school days—they bonded a generation together in a uniquely British, mildly traumatising way. So whether you survived swimming lessons with chlorine-sensitive excuses or found yourself emotionally changed by a particularly stressful Ofsted visit, this episode is your invitation to laugh, cringe, and nod along. The 90s school experience was a world of chaos and camaraderie—and we wouldn't trade it for anything (except maybe to never play the recorder again). Talk2TheHand is an independent throwback podcast run by husband and wife, Jimmy and Beth. Obsessed with 90s nostalgia and 90s celebrities, we'll rewind the years and take you back to the greatest era of our lives.   New episodes bursting with nostalgia of the 90s released on Tuesdays. Please subscribe to our podcast and we'll keep you gooey in 1990s love. Find us on Twitter @talk2thehandpod or email us at jimmy@talk2thehand.co.uk or beth@talk2thehand.co.uk

He Quit His Job for Deer Camp Bryce from Wisconsin Weekend Warrior joins the show to talk about quitting a job that wouldn't give him deer season off, ground hunting with a bow from a lawn chair, and growing up in a multigenerational state forest deer camp. We cover bribing squirrels with honey buns, bucks at six yards, and the slow death of public land hunting camps. A funny, honest convo about why we hunt, and what keeps us coming back. Presented by: Nosler. Use code OHP for 20% OFF Show Partners: Gerber Gear Latitude Outdoors, Rack Hub KwikTrip Follow Bryce on Instagram: @wisconsin_weekend_warrior Grab some Okayest Hunter gear at https://www.okayesthunter.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Here's a question from an OHP member about snake plants and stress blooms. To join the FREE member community, visit https://members.OhHappyPlants....

 Today is a good time to start reviewing and reflecting upon the presentations you have over the past few years.  What have you learnt not to do and what have you learnt to keep doing?  Those who don't study their own presentations history are bound to repeat the errors of the past.  Sounds reasonable doesn't it. We are all mentally geared up for improvements over time.  The only issue is that these improvements are not ordained and we have to create our own futures. Do you have a good record keeping system?  When I got back to Japan in 1992 I was the Australian Consul and Trade Commissioner in Nagoya.  As far as the locals were concerned, I was the Australian Ambassador to the Chubu Region.  I am sure the parade of the various Ambassadors in the Tokyo Embassy never saw it that way, but that is how the locals viewed my vice-regal presence.  One consequence was you were regularly asked to give long speeches.  I say long because a one hour speech would be a dawdle, compared to the two hour monstrosities you were expected to fill. I started writing down the speech number, the title, who it was for, what language was I speaking and how long was the speech.  I did this because Japan loves the devil they know and you would be asked back to speak again and it is embarrassing if you don't recall the first talk.  I am now over 560 speeches on my list.  Without knowing it I was compiling a body of  work as a speaker.  The list noted the topics I covered, which was a useful reservoir of things I could speak about if asked to venture forth a topic for the nominated speaking spot. I would often use visuals.  When I started we were back in the dark ages and were using overhead projectors (OHPs) and breakthrough innovations like colour OHPs instead of just black and white images.  For photographs, we used a slide carousel and a slide projector.  At some point we moved to powerpoint and life got a whole lot easier, when it came to preparing presentations.  Somewhere I probably still have those OHP presentations stored away somewhere, except today you would struggle to find an overhead projector to show them with.  We can much more easily store our presentation materials today, so there is no excuse about not doing that. I keep my presentations in digital files stored by the year in which they were delivered.  This is very handy because you can go back and see what you covered when you gave that talk.  Some of the images may be plundered for a current presentation, if they are relevant, so it is a nice resource to draw on.  You can also see how much you have grown in sophistication as a presenter, by looking at the quality of what you have been presenting.  This is a step we shouldn't miss because we are often so caught up in our everyday, we lose sense of the time progression in our presenter lives. A more difficult task is to grab the points that are additional to the slides.  These may be kept as notes on the print out of the slide deck or in a notes format for the talk.  If I have notes, which these days is pretty rare, then they will be very brief.  They are flags for me to expand upon when I am delivering my talk.  More frequently I will print out two or four slides per page and then write on those pages.  I will note some key points I want to make when we get to that slide.  If I am not using slides then the notes format plays the same prompt role.   Things occur to me during a talk, which were not planned.  Maybe I got a light bulb type of idea or a question exposed an answer and brought some additional information to the forefront.  One thing I strongly recommend is immediately after the speech, carve out thirty minutes for quiet reflection on the talk and think about what things you would change in order to make it better next time.  The tendency is to rush back to work, which usually means either meetings or catching up on email.  They can wait.  Don't schedule back to back activities after the talk – give yourself a little time to think. What I find hard to do is to store the notes hand written on the pages and the notes on the ideas which occurred to me after the talk.  Paper tends to get lost and you throw it out in a bug of spring cleaning and lose it.  Either take photos of the notes on your phone or scan the pages and then file them together with the electronic slide deck in the file for that year of talks.  This way you never lose the inspiration and record of your thinking about this topic. Time will pass.  You will deliver talks, will get ideas both before and after.  Capture them and learn from what went well and how you can improve on it for next time.  You need a system and if you don't have one today,  then now is a good time to think about creating one.

Meet Whitney Tram­mel, the strength coach-turned-elk­chaser behind the Wild Strength Podcast, from the Okayest Podcast Network. We kick things off with her move from Texas to Colorado. Whitney breaks down why real backcountry balance isn't built on a BOSU ball, how a bit of gym grit can keep your heart steady when the buck steps into range, and why she'd rather solo-hunt than rely on guides. Along the way, we tackle identity, social media stereotypes, imposter syndrome after a failed season, and why tying self-worth to your harvest can backfire. Whitney even shares her top beginner tips and why strength—mental and physical—is the secret sauce for every hunter. This episode is equal parts hunting tales, workout wisdom, and honest takes on what it means to be truly “wild strong.” Presented by Nosler: Use code OHP for 20% OFF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Turkey season is over. Let's talk about deer. This episode is all about summer deer prep. What to prioritize, how to make the best use of your summer, and why trail cams can be more misleading than helpful if you don't know what you're doing. Eric and Derek get into summer bedding, aggressive moves, buck beds, rub lines, and the high-stakes game of sneaking into a setup without blowing your whole season with one wrong move. There's also a canoe, a questionable rowboat journey, and a bunch of near-death parenting moments. Grab a cold one, this one's a ride. Presented by Nosler: www.nosler.com, code OHP for 20% off. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We went to turkey camp, drank way too much KwikTrip coffee, tested some awesome Gerber camping gear, got our butts kicked by gobblers, and had fun fishing for trout in the driftless regions of Wisconsin. It was awesome. But in between all that, we hit on something serious. Congress is quietly trying to push through a bill that would sell off 500,000 acres of public land in Utah and Nevada. Not great. We break down what's going on, why it matters to anyone who loves the outdoors, and how to speak up before it's gone for good. Also in this episode: Foam Fest updates, archery league talk, and one of us nearly chokes live on air. Classic Okayest chaos. Presented by: Nosler--Use code OHP at checkout and save 20%. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We cracked a bottle of bourbon with country rock artist Troy Grove and talked about his rise from viral TikToks to 6 million Spotify streams, sketchy public land hunts in Tennessee, and the fine line between writing a hunting song and scaring off half your audience. From hunter harassment to Maryland deer camp stories, this one's a mix of music, mayhem, and making memories in the stand. Presented by Nosler: www.nosler.com -- Use code OHP for 20% OFF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, we talk to Troopers Chris Wade and Weston Baker, who are both graduates of the last lateral academy, OHP's 73rd Academy. As we open applications for the next lateral, the OHP 75th Academy, these troopers talk about their decision to leave a law enforcement job with another agency and join the OHP. Hear what they thought of the experience and why they decided their careers could flourish with the Highway Patrol. A must hear for anyone thinking about applying for the 75th! 

Why Hunters Are Hanging It Up and Why Some Never Start What causes someone to walk away from something they once loved, or never try it in the first place? This week, we explore the many reasons hunters stop hunting. We cover everything from private land pressure and public land overcrowding to regulation overload, rising gear costs, social stigma, urban sprawl, and the generational shift away from communal deer camps toward solitary trophy pursuits. There's real talk about dad life, gear regret, and watching the next generation catch the hunting bug and maybe even lose it if we're not paying attention. Whether you're one of the few still holding it down in the woods or someone who's stepped away, there's a good chance you'll hear something that hits home. This one's about more than tags and tactics. It's about culture, access, and the future of hunting. Presented by www.nosler.com -- Use code OHP for 20% OFF! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Turkey hunting, bourbon tasting, and big chicken energy. This episode has it all. We kick things off debating whether bringing a bow to turkey camp is brave or just dumb, then crack open a bottle of Chicken Cock bourbon (yes, really) and spiral into owl trivia, KwikTrip chicken propaganda, and questionable whiskey barrel practices. Matt Streim from Weathered Oaks Game Calls joins us to talk about his new mini pot call—perfect for smaller hands but big on sound. We get into the weeds on call tuning, the art of matching hen energy, and why that mid-morning hunt window might be your best bet. Plus, Keegan finally calls in after 19 missed tries, and we start laying plans for what might just become an annual turkey camp tradition. If you like turkeys, gear talk, and unfiltered hunting camp nonsense, hit play. Presented by Nosler. Use code OHP for 20% off at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

{Hot Little Number} All right. Ah…, you know what? I don't feel like making a mix tape . My mix tapes have been lackluster lately. What up? I'm recording daily for the show right now. I don't have a plan or anything like that. I'm just, uh, what am I doing? Oh. I am, uh, I have to take some time. *weird surfer laugh* between right now and the next song on this album and whatever else I'm doing. I'm also, um I'm like weird. I'm I'm reclaiming my time. Um, my sleep schedule is changing again. I think I'm just like a rolling… I'm like a I'm like the floater. Hello, what's going on? I don't think I've opened with hello for a while, but it's been random. It's been touch and go. I had a little voice today that was like ”do not leave your house.” And I was like, “first of all, I don't have a house. This is an apartment building.” But then I was like, well, I was waiting on this Amazon package God bless Amazon or, you know, one ever bless it. Just bless it, bless the thing, cause you never know what's gonna happen. You know, though they happen monopoly on all the needs. why would I buy this for six dollars if I could get it for two? it's it is the necessary evil right? I—Yeah. Everything's a necessary evil. I just figured it out, like this body is a necessary evil. Like I wouldn't even be existing in this way if I didn't have to. And then when I don't have to, I get to be free again. you know? Anyway, what the fuck was I just saying? or not saying, not saying for the most part. I don't have much to say, I'm not I'm really excited, I'm glad about how that last tract turned out, but it's not uh it's not finished. What what is finished? Oh, I had those two singles cleared, so hot little numbers is out today, but you won't hear this today. I can't I have no guarantees no guarantees about when you will hear this. I'm not sure anyway, I had a little voice in my head that was like do not leave your house and I was like, “I don't this is not a house.” And I was waiting on an Amazon package and Amazon the app does this weird thing where it's like, it'll be like the driver is this many stops away. this many stops away and it'll go from like three stops away to deliver it sometimes. So I was like refreshing and refreshing the page, like had nothing else to do. No, I just have to this is one of those times every few weeks where I have to not work out vigorously, and I had like a good run yesterday, but I think I overdid it after a period of stagnancy where I just didn't run that much at all. I didn't run that much at all. And then I ran like a lot and I was liking it so much because I was getting to go high speed, but if I'm out in my neighborhood every day running like that, like things get weird and shifty, so I don't I don't get the luxury of doing that all the time. cause my neighborhood is kind of just like a weird, bad shit, crazy place. I don't even think it really exists, like on the actual like, I think it's on grid off grid. Like I—I swear to God, there's things that move around that like should not, like things that are there and then are not, and then things that like it's just, you know, whatever. What is this episode for? I don't know if I can talk for an hour. I can't say, my energy's a little bit different, a little bit fucked up. Why was I not supposed to leave? I didn't give a fuck. I already did now we're on the Peloton, which is why I'm doing the subside right now. Well, I found a podcast that I might be interested in. I'm not sure. It takes it takes a lot. Like I realized that when I do this podcast, I'm giving myself energy. I don't know how but it gives me energy to to listen back to something that it feels like. I've never heard it before. Because I'm kind of an automatic out—out my body when I'm making these episodes and so it's not. It's like it's like hearing something new. Also, my my grown up voice doesn't sound like me to me. So I'm like, ah, like it's still new every time. hundrers of episodes later, it's new every time. For an hour at a time, and I'm really enjoying my Peloton. So would that being said, what do I have any honorable mentions? No, None. There's none at all. I am technically behind schedule well, actually, I mean like I'm catching up, you know, is this just on random? That's gonna bug me. where'd I put the remote. I liked the pattern that was on one of these lights in my studio, and so I thought it was gonna stay there, but it's alternating. I wonder if I can find that one thing that has started on again. Ooh, that's cool. Is it gonna stay there, though? That's dope. I'll just leave that like that— anyway. I'm going back to being a night person cause that's where the things are calm. That's where things are calm, but I'm also coming out of my like weird antisocial space cause of voice in my head was like, though, don't go out of your house. I was like, this is not a house. If it was, I probably wouldn't, but it's not, so I have to go do things in order to make sure that one day I have a house that I can choose to or not to leave. So. I was like, “yeah, I'll do that. I'll go wait for the Amazon guy.” “ I'll go wait for the Amazon guy and jus, like, creep. And so I did that. I went to go creep for the Amazon guy, and it was like, well, it's still three stops away and I was like, this is making me nervous cause it said three stops for like a good 30 minutes. I was like, ‘that's a long three stops.' So, I was like, just sitting in the lobby and I couldn't stand it. Like, I couldn't stand just standing there. So I turned around, I checked my mail, and it was like the same three articles that have been in there for like a month. I just leave them in there. I'm like, ‘these are of no importance really.' So I just leave whatever's in there in there. And I check my mail and I was like, ‘I can't just stand here like this!' and so I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go to the gym for like five seconds because you know, it wasn't worth it and I knew there would be other people there because it's during the day. and there was, and I don't know, I guess I'm I guess I'm uh I guess I'm — I'm better now. As long as I don't have to have that experience all the time, cause I did go straight in there and then a dirp derp followed me in there and I was like, well, that kind of proves my point. So I left the downstairs and I went to the upstairs and there was this this girl just okay, advice: Like if you're ugly, don't be mean. I don't know if she was ugly cause she was mean, or if she was mean cause she was ugly. I don't know, but if you're ugly don't be mean, it makes it worse. That's just advice coming from somebody that's been ugly my whole life! So I'm not mean to people because you can't, like, you can't be ugly and mean. That's extra bad, bro, like, pick one thing and stick with it, but don't be mean and ugly. look, if you're ugly be really nice do that do that anyway, this girl: I don't know why the fuck people mean mug me. Like it's their business. I'm like, 'is this your job?‘ What is wrong?! What is wrong!? I don't know, because I went frumpy as fuck. It's not like I'm dressed. I went in a shirt that I found. I literally found this on a jog. It was brand new, though, and I keep wondering what the where the fuck it came from because I was like bro, if I was going to make T-shirts it would be like this. And it like it looked like it came hot off the press, like somebody screenrinted it for me. It's the coolest shirt. It's the coolest shirt and it brand new, and it was like brand new when I picked it up and saw it was like cool. But I went in like these they were marketed as fucking like you get what you pay for it. They were marketed as high impact sports bas, but then I put it on and it was pretty much like mesh with no support at all. Like I can't even run in them! I can't run in them, but I'm not running because I'm waiting for this injury to fucking all the swelling to go down or whatever. So I was on the Peloton, but I took it easy or whatever. and then I was like, 'well, my shoulders have been bothering me.' I'm trying not to take more than one bath a day. I do take a lot of baths, but it's cause I don't have a sauna anymore! That's why I'm like, oh man, my body got so used to like that extra pushing everything out and then like now if I don't, like my muscle just get all sore and whatever. I've thought about trying like creatine. I don't know, I'm just such a meathead when I when it comes down to it and I'm like bro, if I really get into training or like gym rattiness, like I —I go like probably to half. So my so I haven't been like lifting or anything like that, just cardio and um and I've been eating rice, so I'm I'm thick, you know, like i'm frumpy as fuck, just waiting for this Amazon order to come, and so I go into like the bottom level of the gym because I saw two people at the top and I was like, ‘oh, I'm gonna give you your space or whatever.' And so I went to the bottom, and I did a couple lifts or whatever, but then a derp-derp came in and she was on the phone like “blah, blah, blah, blah,” and I was like, ‘see. that just fucking proved my point.'and so I fucking went upstairs. I was like no matter what, like these fucking derp-derps. And so I was like, okay. And so I went back upstairs where, like the girl and I guess that was her man. I don't know. I guess maybe that's why she was looking at me. like that. I'm not looking at him! I'm looking at you scowling at me. Don't do that! Anyway. Fucking OH—I met the boyfriend of the other girl. I didn't know that was her boyfriend. Now I know why she was scowling at me. Stop scowling, like your face is gonna get stuck like that! I guarantee you and it's already not a good looking face. I'm only noticing this because you're scowling at me with it. Don't do that like I'm getting to the age where I'm careful like I smile when I want to frown like I have this natural, like a droopy dog, like a cartoon droopy dog face when something really hits me a certain way, my face will just automatically and, like — people only— — it like —I only know about it because people call attention to it like something would happen I'd make that face and they'd be like, what is that face? And I'm like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about until one day I guess I like noticed the muscular change in my face and I was like, oh, that face and so now I'm aware of it, but it's not something that I do on purpose. It's something that I do as a reaction to something, but now I'm getting to the age where I'm like, yo, if I keep making this face, there's gonna be lines in this area. Like there's gonna be lines in this area where there where there's going to be lines anyway, eventually, but I can prevent the like I can like if you smile more, you get smile lines when you get older, and if you frown, like that, then you get that face and I'm not trying to look like somebody's fucking dog, you know, like a fucking like, you know, like a cute dog, like a chow chow or like, what are those things? I don't know, I don't I don't know, I don't know. Anyway, how the fuck is like, oh, don't scowl! And I was like, I don't know if that's just your aura or your face, but now that you're looking at me like that, like, bro, don't don't do that. Don't be ugly and mean. Like you can either be mean, like most pretty people are mean, but then it's like, oh, I see why. I see why you're mean like that. Beautiful women are like usually. I'm like, ”you—scowl, I guess, but I mean like, it doesn't necessarily make anything worse if you're like a certain…” I don't scowl. I know I'm ugly. I don't go around like American people with my face I'm like don't do that. Don't do that, bro. Otherwise, good looking girl, otherwise otherwise, anyway, I don't know, I guess it's just uh, I've been here too long, dealing with this. Don't scowl, bro! I hate that! And then it's like, oh, I'm only looking at what you're I guess wanting me not to look at because you're looking at me like that and then I'm like, oh, I hate to see a good looking guy with like an ugly girl and then I'm like, 'bro like that's a waste. That's just a whole waste. This whole thing is a waste and you shifted my mind into thinking that way! now I'm mean!” passing on negativeives and shit ugly don't be ugly anyway what the fuck what? was that the story? Well, I mean, like I was just lifting for five seconds. I was only waiting on an Amazon package. I'd like to think that when somebody fucking presses their elevator button with their middle fing that they are flipping you off, but I was like, what did I do to you? Nothing, anyway. When do I have to say for the next fucking 20 minutes? That makes me seem like a shitty person, but I'm not that. I'm not that shitty. I finally did watch I finally did watch Bob the Drag Queen's opening monologue for the Queerlie's. That's what they're called. It's like on my it's on my to do list to be invited to a place like this. This is where I want to go and I'm like I'm not I I want well, I mean like I'm straight. I'm straight. Well, I'd like to think of my I'm like a gay man. I'm gay like a man for men. I'm like a gay man. I don't know how to I'm gay for men. And yeah. I guess I'm kind of queer. I don't know. I don't think so. Because when I think about aquer means like you can go both ways, I'm not going no way but one at this point. I'm strictly dickly. Super duper straight. I like dudes. I like gay dudes. That's a problem. That's like a like an ongoing problem. If I like a guy, I'm like, ”oh, man, he's probably gay.” He is he's gay, you know? It's it's okay. But you whatever, I just like dudes. I like all dudes. No, I don't like all dudes. I like all men. There's a fucking hard line between dudes, guys, men, boys don't like boys. Definitely like I don't even like college students anymore like even graduate students, I'm like oh, who are you? What do you baby? Oh, they're cute, like football players, professional athletes, children. They're children. They're adonises, sure, statuesque, perhaps genetically gifted, absolutely am I attracted? No. no, That's a kid. That's what I see. I'm old I'm old, that's okay. I like it. I'm starting to get like excited for Amazon packages that are not—I'm like, I'm opening my Amazon package like I waited all day for this. There's nothing in here.' regular household items, like true facts, facts. ah, but you know what? I paid a pretty price for this protein. It'd better be the best protein (it's not the best.) It's probably maybe the second best. Becahse the best that I've ever tried. I'm not behind the $80 per80 for 15 servings. That's too much. I haven't even actually done the fucking math on that, but that's too many. That's what that is. That's what that is. Like for protein? Anyway, what the fuck was I talking about? beef? Nah, I was talking about being meaty, but not in the way that you would think. And then I was talking about the Queerly's, so I guess we're back on meat, kind of. kind of. I don't know. what was it what was my point about that? Oh, I just I like gay culture, like not as like a, you know, I like it. I love it. I wanna go to the queeries. I wanna vogue. I still can't I can't bring myself to go to a vogue club in New York because I'm just like, bro, oh, that's what it was. I mean but not like drag queen mean. No. ans then I was thinking about I was thinking about Joan Rivers RIP and I was like is technically like like if she ex if a certain if a person like her existed now, would she be canceled? Like, because she was not nice. She was honest. Whixh is not necessarily always like a nice thing. So I mean like I don't I don't think I'm mean, especially when Bob the drag Queen reminded me that, like, yo, Gays are super fierce to each other, like to the point where it's like, oh, that's mean. Like, I forget that people actually like openly what's it called. Is it called roasting, like on all fronts? I don't know. I don't forget that, but, you know, it's when was the last good roast, though? Not for a long time. A lot of red tape, a lot of things you can't say. I think that's the theme that, you know, the cancellation of like the entire human race, has just changed media. It just changed theater, like, “Ohp, you can't say that!” Like, I'm I'm gonna say that. Maybe. I don't know, my whole my whole thing changes when I see other people. I'm like, oh, this could turn into like one of those fucking like this could be a stampede real quick. The herd mentality is thick and this motherfucker. If too many people all agree that I'm the enemy, this is bad for me. is bad. I'mma just stay— I'mma to just stay neutral. No honorableensions, nothing. I'm still I'm just in the midst. I'm in the thick of it, putting my things and my stuff together. I realized I'm really glad about a lot of things. Pretty glad about things. Um Also, um kind of a tortured soul. I'm not miserable, though. And I'm really good at not spreading my misery. That shit is like contagious as fuck. It's gross. Like, I'd rather be sneezed on than have some people's like form of depression or mental illness. I like, yo, you keep that to yourself. But in a lot of ways, those things are way more fucking spreadable, way more spreadable than just like like I can get over the flu, whatever your daddy did to you. I don't know. Anyway, no daddy jokes, that's also I can I'm like, uh, okay, what can you say? What can't you say? Because I'm about to take this thing to the next level. What is the next level? What is the next level Of which part? I'm in a lot of different I'm in like a lot of different, like, high stakes games. A lot of them. And so I'm like, “okay, what's the next comedy level? not falling on my face every time? It's probably a good place to start. It's probably a good place to start. We'll start there. I don't know when. Probably. I'm probably going to use comedy to Tears or a Clown because I'm really liking how it's turning out so far, and so far, don't have a song on there under five minutes. Is it under five minutes? I don't know. It's long. They're all long, but it's a concept album, so it's it's it's meant to be listened to more like a film or more like a, you know, like a play or like a musical, you know, because I'm weird like that. I don't I don't ever want to do anything normal or popular yet unless somebody offers me a house, like— a real house where no doors will be slammed. NO DOORS WILL BE SLAMMED! What, am I gonna slam the door for myself? I'm mad— at myself. No, take your shoes off, quiet. Unless you're landing on the hellipad. Does my house have a helipad? No. No, I feel like unauthorized helicopters would land on it. I feel like they would. if you build it, they will come. I'm like ooh. It's very like few it's like, “who the fuck is in the helicopter?!” I don't know. Well, I mean, like there's a couple different ones now anyway, it's not I'm not telling that joke. It's awkward, but then then I don't know. I had for some reason, I guess maybe that was the reason. I left out one card from the uh the Truth or Dab game that I ended up with, the Hot Ones game that I have no friends to play with. I still have the fucking sauce in my fridge from the game. Like I don't think you have to refrigerate it, but I refrigerated it anyway because I'm like, ‘it's hot sauce. ' Like, it should be perishable, but then I guess anything with a certain amount of vinegar is just preserved it preserved, you know? Damn, what the fuck am I about to say for an hour? I have no idea. I'm really nervous. I'm giving this entire album away for free. Stupid. Well, what the fuck? If nobody's going to buy it, might as well just like, you know, get it out there and get it to the next thing. I don't I don't have much else to say. What am I reading? Oh, I finally found my copy of the Odyssey Sure did. I think I have two copies of it, though. I think I have like a paperback version. Apparently the last time somebody opened it was 1981. Ans so I fucking I opened it and the whole the whole coverage just fell off, but I was getting my kicks. I really like…that book. I like that one. What else am I reading? Other things? I decided to finally. I decided to finally try to go through all the books I checked out of the library, like over a year ago so that I can take them back, but again, these things keep being relevant, like I just use them for reference. I'm really bad at libraries . I'm terrible at them. Like we could say historically, but I don't know, I haven't had like an enough adult experience with libraries to no, I'm like on record. It's I'm really bad at libraries. Yeah. like, really bad. Like, sometimes I've lost books on my way to take them back to the library. Isn't that ironic? Anyway, what the fuck is going on now? I don't know . The street Fighter's edition of “we don't give a fuck.” I'm guessing. I heard like a a like audible car accident and then like more yelling and it made me worry that somebody might be hurt because at first I was laughing. It was like and not like I heard the plastic crunch and, like, the fiberglass and I was like,” oh boy, ha ha.” And then like somebody was like yelling from the street and I didn't know if it was in relation to that because there's always crackhead down there. and there's always somebody doing some fuck shit right—there, and I'm like, ‘okay, all right, well, hopefully nobody got hurt. unless they were one of the people sitting under the window, like waiting to rev their engine. Then I'm like, “that's on you. I told you I'm not the one that deals karma at something else.” I don't know. I think it was just two vehicles, like not doing well together. New York drivers are not great, though. They have a very very little patience. Like, all you have to do is slow down a little and somebody's like,aby,ep,ep, beep, beep. I'm like, “Yo, dude like calm the fuck down. Calm the fuck down. Like that's not helping anything. It's not helping anything.” I think people need to work out more, maybe because I had already done my hour on the Peloton and whatever those vibes were were just like they were like shwing, like bouncing off me. I only did a couple lifts. I don't know why you gotta scowl. I guess I'm a little upset, cause I'm just I'm like a nice person. That's why I'm upset because I'm like, oh, like how do you do? I went frumpy. It's not like I'm like bending over in front of your man. It's like, 'hello, how y'all doing?' Like, I'm not doing that. All I'm doing is lifting. And then I fucking left because my fucking Amazon order was like, okay, it's delivered. And it said it was delivered early. So I could have gotten a couple more lifts in, but I didn't. I did not get those last few lifts in. So waiting because it was like, ‘yo, your package is in the mail room' and I was like, 'okay, cool.' So I went over back to the mail room and there was nothing there. and I was like , fuck this. Like, now I'm like sweating bullets. I'm like, 'oh my God. like, what if whoever stole my pancakes also stole this Amazon hall' — and like, Amazon keeps track of shit like that. so like I've had packages stolen before and they knew that by my credit card number they were like, ‘ yo like haven't you had this issue before?' I was like “yeah, but like that's why I told the Amazon driver to come to the door,” but the Amazon driver is like, ”no I'm fucking late or whatever, I'm not gonna do that!” Sometimes they do. It really just depends on what the fuck is going on. Sometimes I leave it at the fucking wear wherever I'm gonna leave it outside if I can. I'm like damn god damn. Like when when I was in the workforce workforce— cause trust me, like what I'm doing right now sometimes feels like slave wages. I'm like bro, did I really do this for two years and get $15 dollars? That doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. No, that doesn't mean that doesn't that doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. It doesn't, right? does it? That's not a lot. No, it's not. I also don't have “billions of streams”. This saddens me. Oh, I got the lights to match. That's good. I didn't think they were gonna match. Anyway, what the fuck was I saying? I've been in —fucking— “billions of streams”. You need ten million for a hit. I get like I get giddy when I hit 200 streams for a song. I'm like, ‘wow. they really liked it.' and it makes me wonder how the fuck did I even get those? Tame Impala, according to YouTube. According to YouTube, people who like Tame Impala will , like, sit on my music a little bit longer than people just random coming in from any of my other places, but I haven't checked on my analytics in a while because… I wasn't dropping music eguch making me sad to watch my numbers just plummet and makes me sad anyway, and now I'm gonna know about the numbers. I'm like, ‘well, whatever' Here's chairs of clown comes out. I picked the date, but I'm not saying shit about it, cause I can still change my mind. I could still change my mind. I still might, I don't know. We'll see how it goes. We'll see how it goes with the next few tracks. It's almost finished. It's really oh— Uptown A has a new single. Oh. not not out yet. It will be by the time you hear this though. It's called what's it called? Suede. It's really good. I listened to it and I was like, 'I really like this song‘ which, like I said, it happens about one every ten songs. I'm like, ‘I really like this. I really like this.' Like technically those are the only songs that should be out are the songs that I listen to and I'm like I should I like this, but I don't I don't sit on my work long enough to do that anymore. I just don't because also I'll bury shit and forget that I even fucking made it. And then, it'll— and then I'll be like, “oh, it'll give me anxiety that I have it and I haven't done anything with it. And I have an attachment to most of my songs. Like, I won't just sell my beats, my beats are not cheap, though. Like, I almost was on beatstars—this website for be selling, but there was a couple things that made me not do it mostly, I guess they're trying to, I guess what they're trying to do is like sell their brand or whatever. So everybody that's already on the site was talking about how there's no—like, it's it's really hard to get circulated as an artist. Like you'll have beats on there for months and years at a time without selling any beats. And you have to be like, really aggressive about, um, like you like my it would like I'm already being really aggressive about my actual songs, so like to be that aggressive about my beats would not be like it would be like two different things. It felt like two different paths, so I didn't do it. But what was I just saying about that? Oh, my beats are not cheap. Like, I'm not gonna do 20 for 20. It would literally have to take me less than five minutes for me to sell beat that cheap. Like I would have to throw it together with like no technique whatsoever, just a bunch of loops, and then I'd be like, here's some which is what I was planning to do with some drill beats, because I know that they're just like drill beats are cheap, like period, because they don't I don't think they matter so much as long as it's got the bass and then, like, whatever that little dude is saying. It's always a little dude. It's always a little dude. It's likeah, ‘yeah. I uh,' I don't know, I love artists. I I'm starting to feel less like an artist, though, and more like a producer, or like, you know, like a creator of sorts. I'm borrowing, though. I'm not going to I'm not going to lie. Because, hell, man, he's such a dick sometimes. I was like, bro. be like something some artist, something, something, and Gee was like, “I'm not an artist, I'm a creator!” But that's I guess since it's so easy for anybody to just say like “I'm an artist” now, I don't know, I feel like that's the whole point of like the human experience is like, everybody has an art like, you know, it's just the thing that makes it difficult is that adding value to it has no, there's no right and there's no wrong and there's no good and there's there's bad. There's bad. There's a lot of art in the world that's just bad. It's not good, but like to the person that made it, like that's their shit. So like in that way their technically is no bad because to that at least one person in the world, the person who made it, it's good. So when it comes to art, there's technically no right and wrong. I'm not going to say there's no good and bad, because I like I said, I collect bad music. Like if it's if it's notoriously bad, I'll be like, yeah. like it's probably easier to get my attention if your music is bad, than if it's good. If it's good, I'm almost intimidated like as an artist. Like, I'll be like, oh, this is too good. It's probably gonna make myself esteem not great. if I spend too much time with it. That's true. I don't listen to really good artists anymore, because I'm like, oh, man. Like, I'll just sit there and shit on myself and be like, why, am I not at this level? And even when it comes down to it and it's like all about business and all about like, you know, your connections or like, you're you know, like it's about who you know. And like, look, sometimes it's about talent, but like less of the time than it should be. Like, sometimes it's just like, who your parents are and all this shit. So it's like, I shouldn't feel that way, but I had a lot of the time I can't help it. Like, I'll be sitting and listening to an artist that's like, you know, ”billions of streams!”. and I'm like, “fuck this.” I'm like, ‘I don't wanna hear this. cause I'm not there.' It's like, is, it if I have any kind of envy or jealousy in me, it's probably that. But then when it comes down to it's like, you gotta take the good with the bad. It's not all fucking pancakes, it is all pancakes. Most of this actually. whatever I cut. I'm looking forward to this smoothie. This would better be the best protein I ever had in my life for the price that I paid for, this is better be the fucking best smoothie I've ever had. Uh, we'll see. This is about to be smoothies and miso time. I'm trying to lose 50 pounds. i don't know what realm that is, but I think. I'm pretty sure that would require, like losing muscle, which is fine. I'm— I might be too strong. I went to the gym. I didn't need to. That dude, I swear to God he flipped me off. ‘Cause here's what happened, is, like, the Amazon package said it was delivered. I was like ”cool. all right.” So I left the gym. I was like, ‘bye.' I was like, ‘see ya.' And I, well, I was lifting. Did I make him feel like a bitch? Is that what it was? Because—because I was lifting and I was just whatever light work because I'm actually in a lot of pain. Like, I told myself that I was I was going to buy myself a gift because nobody buys me gifts on the one day that you should everybody should get a gift on this one day and nobody buys me gifts on this day. So I was like, ‘I'm going to buy myself a gift.‘ But as soon as I put money like, aside for that, I had this injury and I immediately just took money out of that fund for fucking ibuprofen and I was like, hey. Another year. Like that's that's my gift. I was like, So so I'm in a lot of pain, so I'm not doing it like regular I'm in my harem pants and I'm in pain. So I'm like not doing anything special. And I'm doing this, and this dude. I think I made him feel like a bitch. That's what that was, cause like, I don't know what they were doing, some YouTube thing where they were like flapping their arms around, like dinkus, DINKUS., that's what you look like. You look like a dinkus, anyway. I'm not paying attention to I'm not giving people negative attention until they're doing weird shit around me. Then I'm like, now I'm looking at you because you're mean mugging me. Don't do that. I don't with your face, dear, I don't recommend that. Don't don't scrunch up your face like that. No. Anyway, mm. aren't all people beautiful? No, not if you live in New York long enough. Eventually, everybody just scoe at each other to death. That's the whole place. I'm like, where are the happy people at? Fucking on a plane! I think for rich people, the quality of life here is different. I think that the luxury of living in New York is that they're like, ”I live in New York”, but they do that like, around the globe. That's what they do. They're like, yeah, I live in New York, but like they're hardly ever in New York. Or there's just a bunch in New York that I haven't seen while I've seen it when the sun hits it just right, it glistens. I'm like, ‘oh. that's a different place.' No, it's an optical illusion. Oh, it doesn't exist. I'm like, “okay, all right.” Try to find that shiny ass, what is that golden —[thingy] anyway? I'm like, “nah, no, it's a trap, “ because if you actually get to Manhattan on the street level, it's just like you can't see the buildings. Like you just at the bottom and you just shadows, even on the sunny days, just like you're in the cold shadows. That's what that place is. I haven't been over there in so long. Never in Manhattan. That place is scary. It's like a supercomputer. But— I guess performance wise in comparison to other like, major cities in the world is not great. I feel like it's pretty great. I feel like it's pretty great. But, you know, I haven't seen Tokyo or where where else was on that list? I don't know, I skipped around a lot. My ADD is unchecked. up. Anyway, I'm kind of annoying, I's okay. Somebody's gonna like it. Somebody, there's somebody for everybody. You see? I don't know why that pissed me off, because that's the second time I got a scowled at in the elevator by an ugly girl. I'm like, why the fuck are you ugly? Oh, cause you're scowling at me. I didn't even see that until you darted me those fucking little eyes. and then I was like “ugh. rude!” I like, I think it's the vibe. I think that's what that is. Cause like, I also notice when people smile at me and I'm like, ”oh, what a beautiful person,” or if somebody's just like resting, not even resting resting bitch face, just like resting face. Like if there's actually muscles in your body that are working towards being angry at me, I notice. I'm like, ”oh, yo, don't do that.” I don't know why that bothered me so much. Then her dude fucking leans over to fucking press the elevator button and he does it with his middle finger. Like, I like to think if it's like if the button and the finger are like like adjacent to your face, like, eye level and here comes the middle finger. You like, that dude was flipping me off, but I'm like, I don't know, I don't know why you would do that. I think I made him feel like a bitch in front of his mean girl. Why—why are you if you're in a couple, why is anybody in this situation mad? Like if you're in a loving, happy, like a healthy relationship, like you shouldn't even see the rest of the world around you, honestly. If you're two people in love, you don't notice like you don't see shit like that. Like the whole world just caves. like it just falls around like you don't notice when you're all fucking in love and all giggly and everything. She's like 'ha ha like, yes, we are together and nothing else really exists. ‘ Like that's I don't know why the fuck you guys are both mean mugging, like that seems like some self reflective. I don't know what the fuck you mad at. I just that a couple lifts. He like starts doing pushups I was like,get it. get it!” Because, I'm encouraging like that, but I'm not looking at him because honestly, eh. like. Like, she don't jump for much these days. Like, she really knows when she likes something, my dragon, or whatever. Like she really knows. She's like, ”yeah, yeah.” But for the most part, like, I don't know, I can tell in like a person's aura or like a vibe, like, if they have something for me, something for me, you know, like if something is— she's gonna notice, she's gonna like, oh, hey, but nothing here. So I don't know why I have the fuck you're looking at me like that, cause the way you're looking at me is pissing me off, and that's how contagious— that's how contagious negative energy could be. Luckily, I was already on the Peloton for an hour. I just finished a song that made me laugh a lot. It made me laugh a lot, and in the moment in the moment, what's fucked up is everybody was heckling this guy, but I think he might have actually been like a professional or he was just some crackhead. I don't think so. First of all, he got the most laughs. I'm listening back to this recording and I'm like, “yo, everybody's—” he made me laugh. I heard myself laugh on this recording. And then as I'm making this song, the number of different laughs from around the room that I'd like that were beautiful to me because I love the sound of laughter… So the difference this I'll— I'll talk more in depth about this album as it's finished and as it's coming out in the next few days. um I still have ‘All The Rage' to come out before that. What day is it coming out? The 10th? Yeah, the 10th. All The Rage is coming out on the 10th, but it has a single coming out on the the All The Rage has a single coming out on April 7th called Sweet Dreams, and then it'll be out three days later. It's pretty much like a hype up single. There's two singles out from that. Yeah, Hot Little Number is also on All The Rage. So Hot Little Number is coming out in the next couple days, because they just felt like there should be at least like one release in March. I did some releases in early March, but not much. Um, and then oh, the single for yeah, I'm only taking one single off of that, because they're so massive. All the songs on Tears of a Clown are like six, five, six, seven minutes. It's it's a true concept album. It's true to itself, and so that's it's cool because it's kind of like pushing me into the next batch of things and working on a I don't know if it's a remix or if it's just like a a dubstep song with heavy sampling cause I'm getting into more dub stuff. butit's crazy cause I got mad at myself because I was like, “oh, I really wanted to fucking I really wanted to finish this.” I don't wanna jinx it so I don't wanna talk about what it is. But I'll talk about it when it does get done. And now I'm understanding that like it's just being major focusshifted. Like, because I cared so much about it that I didn't want to just do it and then be like, that's it. Like, that's it. And it was gonna go on Tears of a Clown but then I was like, I can't because it samples a song that was actually I think it was like a fucking I think it was a hit-ish a TikTok. is it really a hit which it's just on TikTok? I think so, because of the audience on that TikTok has. I refuse. I refuse. I downloaded TikTok once during the pandemic and two things made me never ever go on TikTok again is that it only showed me what appeared to be underage girls doing things that I would slap the shit out of anybody I saw doing like you could be a grown ass woman if you did any of those things. I would hit you like, I—well—no. I'm learning about this. I'm like, ‘oh.' I'm learning about people who make you want to hit them, but you can't. That's things like that's as I think it's a coming of age. I've never had this experience before where it's like, oh, like, you're doing everything in the world to make me want to hurt you. but I can't. Like I have to exercise restraint. That's a fucked up feeling. It's like being penned down. I'm like, oh, like like that's like you can't like you can't do anything about it. You can't do anything about it. What are you gonna do about it?? I don't know, boss up. That's the only thing I can do. I'm like, well, that's that, but oh, it makes me wonder, what makes me kind of understand to a certain extent, like, bro, like, is this what it's like to have a girlfriend? She's gonna make me mad. She's gonna well, I'm I'm not that kind of guy. And I swear to that I'm not. I swear I'd probably be that kind of lesbian, though. like bitch, I will hit you. We are the same gender. like, we could duke it out. We could dupe this out! I'm kidding. I'm not violet. I swear to God, I'm not. But sometimes like I guess it's an episode about about energy, negative energy. It's like I work out enough that like it should just roll off today this. But it wasn't like violent. It was just like, “ooh. girl. You better stop flapping those arms and get you a Peloton. I don't know what the fuck you're looking at me like that for!” I swear, because the anger the anger set into my body.'s like, bro, I just don't like looking at shit that don't look good. I'm an aesthetic person, so like, that's why I don't jog in my neighborhood, cause for the most part, like, I'm gonna take in too much negative, like the negative is gonna outweigh the positive. Like, I can run in circles around whatever my radius around this bitch. but if I see too much trash on the ground, it just depresses me. Like it just makes me upset. and so it like undoes the good that I'm doing by running unless I'm sprinting, but I can't do too much of that. I can't do too much of that. I sprinted almost two miles yesterday I almost top speed, and then those my motorcycle stalkers started stalking me, and so I st like I—I like ran out of steam. I was like, you know I was like, I was like, ugh. There they are. Like, that's weird. How can something like that happen? Anyway. I was like, nah, I'm just gonna fucking jog the rest of this little the rest of this the this last mile or whatever. I'm just gonna jog it, but I sprinted most of that, but then when I got back, I was like, why the fuck am I out of energy? Bitch, because you hit like 11 miles at least. I'm pretty sure what my top speed is like between 11 and 12. if I just spread it, but then that's slow. In comparison to some. That's what I'm saying. pretty sure I wrote like a rhyme recently. I'm I'm not writing so much as organizing, try to anyway. I'm doing a lot at once. What else happened? I don't know. I'm not scowling, your boyfriend's not that cute. I wasn't even looking until you made that face, and I'm like, wh are you trying to defend something here? Is it worth defending? Oh, but the first girl that scowled me, her boyfriend is cute. She needs to do that more, but she needs to be with him, when she does that, like, “girl, you better wash your man's!” .And he has a accent. I don't know where the fuck he's from, cause half of the shit he said was not. I was like, what? what? He is cute. I didn't notice that when she was scowling at me, and that's probably why she I was like, “what is that face? “ Girl? And then I didn't know that was him, cause he went into their apartment. Don't worry, I'm not that kind of girl. like, that's yours. I guess keep making that face. Keep making that face. Do that. Do that. He's cute. I think she'd be cute too, if she wasn't doing that. So, you know, whatever. They' they're probably— and $4 got her flowers! Aw. Aw, and then he said something, oh, cause he thought, and so he doesn't think un is, don't worry. Don't worry, he doesn't. He thought I was delivering Amazon packages because I picked up my Amazon packages. I was picking up my packages and he was like, “oh, you don't need a key for the elevator.“ And I was like, not trying to explain. Like, "No, I live here, I know that. Like” so I was like, okay. And at first I thought he might be like this sounds bad. At first I thought he was deaf, cause whatever he said sounded like a whole, like a whole rolling mumble, and I was like, okay, and I was still listening to my fucking music. And then he kept talking. and so I was like, oh, I have to —and I wasn't even looking at him until I like turned off my music. And then I was I was like, damn. who the fuck is this? And then I was like, oh, like I saw that he lives on the same floor as me. and I was like, ”oh, “ like the elevators and the the the buttons and the elevator are different on both sides. So it depends on which elevator you get where the button is and I press the wrong button, and so he thought I was delivering Amazon package. I was like, no, I'll live here. like like I live here.We live on the same floor, you actually pressed the button already”, and then he said something back and I was like, 'oh, oh, he's he's just from somewhere else. He's not American.' i usually only like American dudes. I like dudes sometimes, not not all the time. I like dudes, sometimes. I like men all the time. That's all around the clock thing that I like. I like them more, increasingly, and the more like stable I get my singularity. I really like them because they can do all the fuck they like all the fuck shit they do is entertaining because they're not doing it to me. I'm like, “okay. I see. like that.” Yeah. I'd be A real, real real, real broad dyke. I'm not gonna lie. I don't like females. I'm not anti feminist. I just for the most part, like get impatient, cause I'm like, what can you do for me? Nothing. Nothing, exactly. I like a friend or something. No, females are never friends with each other. Let's just get that clear. I think I've just figured this out. I just figured this out, like, we'll pretend to be in each other's best interests…. Usually, I mean it. Because I'm not all the way I'm not 100% female. I am very nonbinary in the way they're like I genuinely, genuinely care—typically— if I if I care. if I let myself care, then I genuinely care. But I don't not have the same experience with other females and so I'm just learning this though. Like I'm just learning other females in the competitive sense as I'm learning males. I'm like, “oh, like, I get it. Like if you sense any superiority in me whatsoever, like, you're like, I become your enemy, like, I become your target and you're trying to kill me!” I'm like, ‘that sucks.' To me, like, but if I sense any inferiority in you whatsoever, you're like a nonfactor. Like, I don't— I'm not trying to kill you. I don't care what happens to you. I already won. Let's just all be this way. Just have a oh, oh, that was that thing that I heard. The one thing that I heard. I was like, and it clicked in my brain a certain way. It was that ‘insecurity makes people act crazy.' And I don't know why, but like it clicked with me in a certain way because typically I don't have to bring my insecurities out front or if I do, it works for me in a way that like— it works for me, because if I point if I point like I guess that's the comic or comedian in me. If I point out my indiscretions or my flaws, then it works for me because typically, the person that does sense that inferiority in some kind of way, they get kind of like, it if inflates their ego. It puffs them up and makes them feel like, oh, like, you know, like or, you know, OR— it makes them what's it called, like sympathize with you if they have like some of the same insecurities and it puts you on the same level of equality where it like humanizes you are humanizes them and then you and then you have like, a connection. I'm I'm just you know, I'm just figuring out like human connection in the way that, like, makes sense. So, I'm not I I'm not gonna pretend to know everything because I wouldn't want to. I wouldn't want to. and I with the understanding that, like, on a conscious level, like I well, I mean, like certain certain factors certain factors would indicate that yes, on a conscious level, I do and am, and know everything, but, like to be aware of it at all times would literally be insanity. I wouldn't want to be like allie was like that a lot of the time and I was like,bro, you need to get off God because I well, God is where he went. He was like,I'm just gonna die.” I was like “cool. fuck you, dude. Fuck you.” Like he was like, I'm just gonna die. *Explode! * i was like, all right, ‘whatever. Whatever dog.' I was still a little bit. I am I still grieving? I'm still grieving? I'm thinking I'm like in the acceptance part. where it's like,‘ oh, you're you're right. Like you're you're right about a lot of things and like your freedom is that you're hopefully. Well, see, he might have had some other shit to do. He might have had other shit to do, so I just I kind of have this thing where it's like he still actually like he's in another realm figuring out. figuring out things. Figuring out things. That's what you do when you die, and you haven't done everything yet. I know that much, but I know that the less I know, the better, ha, Tame Impala and also like, he's just a five. And again, uh, I don't I don't the whole music industry is herpes, like, don't touch me, don't well, Tame Impala can do better. So, so, I don't worry about things like that. I don't to worry about things like that, but the whole music industry, Herpes. I don't I don't think it would be hard to be with another musician. Like, really? I like pretty dudes. I like pretty guys, and I like pretty men. Pretty boys, though. I'm like,' oh, youes gots to learnings to do.” You gots to fuck around for like 50 more years. And then maybe we can have like a tea. In 50 years?! yeah, yeah. was you know, then what are we gonna do? There's none of like all the dumb shits out the way. All the dumb shit and all those dumb girls. all the girls like get the girls out of the way and then like a few of the women, like a lot of the women, like, get all the dumb shit out the way. And then talk to me. or don't. In fact, in fact, that's how I wanted to go. My next actual thing with like a person of the opposite gender should be—seriously wordless. like, it shouldn't have to have like, I don't have to explain myself to you. if I have to do that, I'm already doing too much work. I would I think I just might be a single forever. It's cool. I'm like “yay, I got over it.” And now I well, how am I gonna— I'm like I devising a plan, “how to hold babies without being weird.” Like, I—I want to do that. I don't necessarily want to take it all the way. Like, I don't wanna be I don't wanna be a midwife or a dula. don't wanna be like a baby— I don't want to be anything in the medical field because gross. Gross, gross. I thought I was gonna be at EMT for a while, because they're like, “oh, no, no, you're too old to be a firefighter!” That's okay. after living this long in New York, I'm like, running into a burning building would probably be like at the top of my priorities, if that were my job. You don't don't talk to me on the wrong day. I will try and fail to save everybody in this burning building. That's I'm you know, that's where I'm at. so it's probably good that I missed the cut off for being an actual firefighter. But then, oh, I signed up to be an EMT and they were like, oh, it's a year and a half wait, but then once you get into the program, the way that it works is that like you ‘technically, like word training you on a loan. So like everything that you make in the first, however many years, you actually owe back to us and you can't quit.' And I was like, that's kind of that's okay, because it's like job security. But then ey, I met an EMT that was taking the same bus as I was and I was like bro like that doesn't make sense. Like, you have a you have a full-time job and we're on the same bus, that's no. No, like you should be able to afford the next level of transportation hug. That's that's wrong, that's a hard job. ‘You should get paid more,' but then I was like, it's okay.' What was the second thing? Oh, I went to the ER. My first trip to the ER in New York was like was like the trip that I would never take to the ER in a third world country. I like I thought about it in Mexico a couple times. I was like, ‘bro, if it came down to it.' Because I saw like a building that I didn't know was like a functional building. I thought it was like a shell of a building, but then there was like a there was like a flickering sign on the front of the building that was like, you know, this is a hospital, this is the ER. And I was like, “no, it's not.” And I was like “this is like a shut down hospital, right?” But then there was like somebody at the entrance and I was like, 'okay.' And then I thought to myself 'like, okay, if I had to go to this fucking hospital or like just duke it out with whatever the fuck is happening, like what would be my choice?' And I was like, ‘I would probably just like take it.' I'd probably just take it. I'm not gonna lie, you know? like that. But the end, well I had to go, I had to go and honestly, New York ER is not super different, not you like not not anything like the ERs on the West Coast. is not the safest place. No. No, I did not want to be there. And then when I'd witnessed what an EMT does in a New York City, like ER, I was like, oh. I am— uh what's it called? [withdrawing] I'm taking out my applications. Oh, that was hardcore. What was it like a gunshot? It was something I think it was. I think that was a couple gunshot wounds in there. I was like, you know, 'no, this is what they do. This is what they do all the time.' Ive just I've reached a level of I can't do that with a lot of professions. Like, don't get me wrong. I'm not unwilling to work. It's just like I can't. Like my heart can't take it. Like it cannot. I've, you know, I've been around. I'm no spring chicken. I've already had some grief. grief. Like I don't think I can do that. So hat's off to the people in the blue, whatever. “all lives matter.” This is true. But, you know, I'm not picking those sides. Anyway, it is true. Everybody. Everybody makes sense in a certain way, right? Okay, I'm just trying to take up this last minute. What the fuck was this episode for? That was a fast hour. I'm surprised by myself. Don't scowl if you're ugly. Like, don't be ugly and scowl. I don't I don't know which thing happened first. I don't know if she was already ugly, so she's scowling. or if the scowling just, like changed everything. I've said this before, I'll say it again, like you can be —you can look, however, but as a person who like sees sings speaks vibrations, like if your whole shit's fucked up. like, that's what I see. So it will be the prettiest girl, boy, man, trans. You could be the prettiest cat. You would be a cat. I'm— I'm not— look, you know, I'm not into beastiality; pansexuality. sure, you know? I've had crushes on trees. Me and my Peloton have a thing going, but I spend a lot of time sitting on it. [MENACING IMMORTAL LAUGHER] a.k.a “mwahaha' Sorry. Okay, I was about to— That's enough, right? Yeah, that was so— —Somebody help that fucking bitch. they lady, man! that lady in her fucking dragon I don't know what the fuck is gonna happen. Like, don't worry, it is a very small percentage of people in the whole population that she's actually gonna try to actually hunt down and murder. You know, gently. death by snusnu. as possible as most of these dudes don't have, you know, like, I'll kill you. Don't scowl at me, and like, I will literally kill your boyfriend. Like, doll like by choice, though, I wouldn't kill him. So don't worry, you can take that face off now. Jesus Christ all day anyway. All day and all night, okay? Have a good day or night or whenever the fuck you're listening to this. Thank you for listening. More stuff soon, because we'll see what happens with the like, you know, with the website and whatever. I am you dot guru. That's what it is for the foreseeable future. That's what that is. I i A-M-U DOT GURU I gotta work on this website. It's gotta be it's like I can't overhype it. I can't do all this spelling out and promoting my own website if it's not gonna be like the most spectacular—smoothie that I've ever had, which is happening right now. Amen. {Enter The Multiverse} The Complex Collective © [The Festival Project ™ ] -Ū.

{Hot Little Number} All right. Ah…, you know what? I don't feel like making a mix tape . My mix tapes have been lackluster lately. What up? I'm recording daily for the show right now. I don't have a plan or anything like that. I'm just, uh, what am I doing? Oh. I am, uh, I have to take some time. *weird surfer laugh* between right now and the next song on this album and whatever else I'm doing. I'm also, um I'm like weird. I'm I'm reclaiming my time. Um, my sleep schedule is changing again. I think I'm just like a rolling… I'm like a I'm like the floater. Hello, what's going on? I don't think I've opened with hello for a while, but it's been random. It's been touch and go. I had a little voice today that was like ”do not leave your house.” And I was like, “first of all, I don't have a house. This is an apartment building.” But then I was like, well, I was waiting on this Amazon package God bless Amazon or, you know, one ever bless it. Just bless it, bless the thing, cause you never know what's gonna happen. You know, though they happen monopoly on all the needs. why would I buy this for six dollars if I could get it for two? it's it is the necessary evil right? I—Yeah. Everything's a necessary evil. I just figured it out, like this body is a necessary evil. Like I wouldn't even be existing in this way if I didn't have to. And then when I don't have to, I get to be free again. you know? Anyway, what the fuck was I just saying? or not saying, not saying for the most part. I don't have much to say, I'm not I'm really excited, I'm glad about how that last tract turned out, but it's not uh it's not finished. What what is finished? Oh, I had those two singles cleared, so hot little numbers is out today, but you won't hear this today. I can't I have no guarantees no guarantees about when you will hear this. I'm not sure anyway, I had a little voice in my head that was like do not leave your house and I was like, “I don't this is not a house.” And I was waiting on an Amazon package and Amazon the app does this weird thing where it's like, it'll be like the driver is this many stops away. this many stops away and it'll go from like three stops away to deliver it sometimes. So I was like refreshing and refreshing the page, like had nothing else to do. No, I just have to this is one of those times every few weeks where I have to not work out vigorously, and I had like a good run yesterday, but I think I overdid it after a period of stagnancy where I just didn't run that much at all. I didn't run that much at all. And then I ran like a lot and I was liking it so much because I was getting to go high speed, but if I'm out in my neighborhood every day running like that, like things get weird and shifty, so I don't I don't get the luxury of doing that all the time. cause my neighborhood is kind of just like a weird, bad shit, crazy place. I don't even think it really exists, like on the actual like, I think it's on grid off grid. Like I—I swear to God, there's things that move around that like should not, like things that are there and then are not, and then things that like it's just, you know, whatever. What is this episode for? I don't know if I can talk for an hour. I can't say, my energy's a little bit different, a little bit fucked up. Why was I not supposed to leave? I didn't give a fuck. I already did now we're on the Peloton, which is why I'm doing the subside right now. Well, I found a podcast that I might be interested in. I'm not sure. It takes it takes a lot. Like I realized that when I do this podcast, I'm giving myself energy. I don't know how but it gives me energy to to listen back to something that it feels like. I've never heard it before. Because I'm kind of an automatic out—out my body when I'm making these episodes and so it's not. It's like it's like hearing something new. Also, my my grown up voice doesn't sound like me to me. So I'm like, ah, like it's still new every time. hundrers of episodes later, it's new every time. For an hour at a time, and I'm really enjoying my Peloton. So would that being said, what do I have any honorable mentions? No, None. There's none at all. I am technically behind schedule well, actually, I mean like I'm catching up, you know, is this just on random? That's gonna bug me. where'd I put the remote. I liked the pattern that was on one of these lights in my studio, and so I thought it was gonna stay there, but it's alternating. I wonder if I can find that one thing that has started on again. Ooh, that's cool. Is it gonna stay there, though? That's dope. I'll just leave that like that— anyway. I'm going back to being a night person cause that's where the things are calm. That's where things are calm, but I'm also coming out of my like weird antisocial space cause of voice in my head was like, though, don't go out of your house. I was like, this is not a house. If it was, I probably wouldn't, but it's not, so I have to go do things in order to make sure that one day I have a house that I can choose to or not to leave. So. I was like, “yeah, I'll do that. I'll go wait for the Amazon guy.” “ I'll go wait for the Amazon guy and jus, like, creep. And so I did that. I went to go creep for the Amazon guy, and it was like, well, it's still three stops away and I was like, this is making me nervous cause it said three stops for like a good 30 minutes. I was like, ‘that's a long three stops.' So, I was like, just sitting in the lobby and I couldn't stand it. Like, I couldn't stand just standing there. So I turned around, I checked my mail, and it was like the same three articles that have been in there for like a month. I just leave them in there. I'm like, ‘these are of no importance really.' So I just leave whatever's in there in there. And I check my mail and I was like, ‘I can't just stand here like this!' and so I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go to the gym for like five seconds because you know, it wasn't worth it and I knew there would be other people there because it's during the day. and there was, and I don't know, I guess I'm I guess I'm uh I guess I'm — I'm better now. As long as I don't have to have that experience all the time, cause I did go straight in there and then a dirp derp followed me in there and I was like, well, that kind of proves my point. So I left the downstairs and I went to the upstairs and there was this this girl just okay, advice: Like if you're ugly, don't be mean. I don't know if she was ugly cause she was mean, or if she was mean cause she was ugly. I don't know, but if you're ugly don't be mean, it makes it worse. That's just advice coming from somebody that's been ugly my whole life! So I'm not mean to people because you can't, like, you can't be ugly and mean. That's extra bad, bro, like, pick one thing and stick with it, but don't be mean and ugly. look, if you're ugly be really nice do that do that anyway, this girl: I don't know why the fuck people mean mug me. Like it's their business. I'm like, 'is this your job?‘ What is wrong?! What is wrong!? I don't know, because I went frumpy as fuck. It's not like I'm dressed. I went in a shirt that I found. I literally found this on a jog. It was brand new, though, and I keep wondering what the where the fuck it came from because I was like bro, if I was going to make T-shirts it would be like this. And it like it looked like it came hot off the press, like somebody screenrinted it for me. It's the coolest shirt. It's the coolest shirt and it brand new, and it was like brand new when I picked it up and saw it was like cool. But I went in like these they were marketed as fucking like you get what you pay for it. They were marketed as high impact sports bas, but then I put it on and it was pretty much like mesh with no support at all. Like I can't even run in them! I can't run in them, but I'm not running because I'm waiting for this injury to fucking all the swelling to go down or whatever. So I was on the Peloton, but I took it easy or whatever. and then I was like, 'well, my shoulders have been bothering me.' I'm trying not to take more than one bath a day. I do take a lot of baths, but it's cause I don't have a sauna anymore! That's why I'm like, oh man, my body got so used to like that extra pushing everything out and then like now if I don't, like my muscle just get all sore and whatever. I've thought about trying like creatine. I don't know, I'm just such a meathead when I when it comes down to it and I'm like bro, if I really get into training or like gym rattiness, like I —I go like probably to half. So my so I haven't been like lifting or anything like that, just cardio and um and I've been eating rice, so I'm I'm thick, you know, like i'm frumpy as fuck, just waiting for this Amazon order to come, and so I go into like the bottom level of the gym because I saw two people at the top and I was like, ‘oh, I'm gonna give you your space or whatever.' And so I went to the bottom, and I did a couple lifts or whatever, but then a derp-derp came in and she was on the phone like “blah, blah, blah, blah,” and I was like, ‘see. that just fucking proved my point.'and so I fucking went upstairs. I was like no matter what, like these fucking derp-derps. And so I was like, okay. And so I went back upstairs where, like the girl and I guess that was her man. I don't know. I guess maybe that's why she was looking at me. like that. I'm not looking at him! I'm looking at you scowling at me. Don't do that! Anyway. Fucking OH—I met the boyfriend of the other girl. I didn't know that was her boyfriend. Now I know why she was scowling at me. Stop scowling, like your face is gonna get stuck like that! I guarantee you and it's already not a good looking face. I'm only noticing this because you're scowling at me with it. Don't do that like I'm getting to the age where I'm careful like I smile when I want to frown like I have this natural, like a droopy dog, like a cartoon droopy dog face when something really hits me a certain way, my face will just automatically and, like — people only— — it like —I only know about it because people call attention to it like something would happen I'd make that face and they'd be like, what is that face? And I'm like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about until one day I guess I like noticed the muscular change in my face and I was like, oh, that face and so now I'm aware of it, but it's not something that I do on purpose. It's something that I do as a reaction to something, but now I'm getting to the age where I'm like, yo, if I keep making this face, there's gonna be lines in this area. Like there's gonna be lines in this area where there where there's going to be lines anyway, eventually, but I can prevent the like I can like if you smile more, you get smile lines when you get older, and if you frown, like that, then you get that face and I'm not trying to look like somebody's fucking dog, you know, like a fucking like, you know, like a cute dog, like a chow chow or like, what are those things? I don't know, I don't I don't know, I don't know. Anyway, how the fuck is like, oh, don't scowl! And I was like, I don't know if that's just your aura or your face, but now that you're looking at me like that, like, bro, don't don't do that. Don't be ugly and mean. Like you can either be mean, like most pretty people are mean, but then it's like, oh, I see why. I see why you're mean like that. Beautiful women are like usually. I'm like, ”you—scowl, I guess, but I mean like, it doesn't necessarily make anything worse if you're like a certain…” I don't scowl. I know I'm ugly. I don't go around like American people with my face I'm like don't do that. Don't do that, bro. Otherwise, good looking girl, otherwise otherwise, anyway, I don't know, I guess it's just uh, I've been here too long, dealing with this. Don't scowl, bro! I hate that! And then it's like, oh, I'm only looking at what you're I guess wanting me not to look at because you're looking at me like that and then I'm like, oh, I hate to see a good looking guy with like an ugly girl and then I'm like, 'bro like that's a waste. That's just a whole waste. This whole thing is a waste and you shifted my mind into thinking that way! now I'm mean!” passing on negativeives and shit ugly don't be ugly anyway what the fuck what? was that the story? Well, I mean, like I was just lifting for five seconds. I was only waiting on an Amazon package. I'd like to think that when somebody fucking presses their elevator button with their middle fing that they are flipping you off, but I was like, what did I do to you? Nothing, anyway. When do I have to say for the next fucking 20 minutes? That makes me seem like a shitty person, but I'm not that. I'm not that shitty. I finally did watch I finally did watch Bob the Drag Queen's opening monologue for the Queerlie's. That's what they're called. It's like on my it's on my to do list to be invited to a place like this. This is where I want to go and I'm like I'm not I I want well, I mean like I'm straight. I'm straight. Well, I'd like to think of my I'm like a gay man. I'm gay like a man for men. I'm like a gay man. I don't know how to I'm gay for men. And yeah. I guess I'm kind of queer. I don't know. I don't think so. Because when I think about aquer means like you can go both ways, I'm not going no way but one at this point. I'm strictly dickly. Super duper straight. I like dudes. I like gay dudes. That's a problem. That's like a like an ongoing problem. If I like a guy, I'm like, ”oh, man, he's probably gay.” He is he's gay, you know? It's it's okay. But you whatever, I just like dudes. I like all dudes. No, I don't like all dudes. I like all men. There's a fucking hard line between dudes, guys, men, boys don't like boys. Definitely like I don't even like college students anymore like even graduate students, I'm like oh, who are you? What do you baby? Oh, they're cute, like football players, professional athletes, children. They're children. They're adonises, sure, statuesque, perhaps genetically gifted, absolutely am I attracted? No. no, That's a kid. That's what I see. I'm old I'm old, that's okay. I like it. I'm starting to get like excited for Amazon packages that are not—I'm like, I'm opening my Amazon package like I waited all day for this. There's nothing in here.' regular household items, like true facts, facts. ah, but you know what? I paid a pretty price for this protein. It'd better be the best protein (it's not the best.) It's probably maybe the second best. Becahse the best that I've ever tried. I'm not behind the $80 per80 for 15 servings. That's too much. I haven't even actually done the fucking math on that, but that's too many. That's what that is. That's what that is. Like for protein? Anyway, what the fuck was I talking about? beef? Nah, I was talking about being meaty, but not in the way that you would think. And then I was talking about the Queerly's, so I guess we're back on meat, kind of. kind of. I don't know. what was it what was my point about that? Oh, I just I like gay culture, like not as like a, you know, I like it. I love it. I wanna go to the queeries. I wanna vogue. I still can't I can't bring myself to go to a vogue club in New York because I'm just like, bro, oh, that's what it was. I mean but not like drag queen mean. No. ans then I was thinking about I was thinking about Joan Rivers RIP and I was like is technically like like if she ex if a certain if a person like her existed now, would she be canceled? Like, because she was not nice. She was honest. Whixh is not necessarily always like a nice thing. So I mean like I don't I don't think I'm mean, especially when Bob the drag Queen reminded me that, like, yo, Gays are super fierce to each other, like to the point where it's like, oh, that's mean. Like, I forget that people actually like openly what's it called. Is it called roasting, like on all fronts? I don't know. I don't forget that, but, you know, it's when was the last good roast, though? Not for a long time. A lot of red tape, a lot of things you can't say. I think that's the theme that, you know, the cancellation of like the entire human race, has just changed media. It just changed theater, like, “Ohp, you can't say that!” Like, I'm I'm gonna say that. Maybe. I don't know, my whole my whole thing changes when I see other people. I'm like, oh, this could turn into like one of those fucking like this could be a stampede real quick. The herd mentality is thick and this motherfucker. If too many people all agree that I'm the enemy, this is bad for me. is bad. I'mma just stay— I'mma to just stay neutral. No honorableensions, nothing. I'm still I'm just in the midst. I'm in the thick of it, putting my things and my stuff together. I realized I'm really glad about a lot of things. Pretty glad about things. Um Also, um kind of a tortured soul. I'm not miserable, though. And I'm really good at not spreading my misery. That shit is like contagious as fuck. It's gross. Like, I'd rather be sneezed on than have some people's like form of depression or mental illness. I like, yo, you keep that to yourself. But in a lot of ways, those things are way more fucking spreadable, way more spreadable than just like like I can get over the flu, whatever your daddy did to you. I don't know. Anyway, no daddy jokes, that's also I can I'm like, uh, okay, what can you say? What can't you say? Because I'm about to take this thing to the next level. What is the next level? What is the next level Of which part? I'm in a lot of different I'm in like a lot of different, like, high stakes games. A lot of them. And so I'm like, “okay, what's the next comedy level? not falling on my face every time? It's probably a good place to start. It's probably a good place to start. We'll start there. I don't know when. Probably. I'm probably going to use comedy to Tears or a Clown because I'm really liking how it's turning out so far, and so far, don't have a song on there under five minutes. Is it under five minutes? I don't know. It's long. They're all long, but it's a concept album, so it's it's it's meant to be listened to more like a film or more like a, you know, like a play or like a musical, you know, because I'm weird like that. I don't I don't ever want to do anything normal or popular yet unless somebody offers me a house, like— a real house where no doors will be slammed. NO DOORS WILL BE SLAMMED! What, am I gonna slam the door for myself? I'm mad— at myself. No, take your shoes off, quiet. Unless you're landing on the hellipad. Does my house have a helipad? No. No, I feel like unauthorized helicopters would land on it. I feel like they would. if you build it, they will come. I'm like ooh. It's very like few it's like, “who the fuck is in the helicopter?!” I don't know. Well, I mean, like there's a couple different ones now anyway, it's not I'm not telling that joke. It's awkward, but then then I don't know. I had for some reason, I guess maybe that was the reason. I left out one card from the uh the Truth or Dab game that I ended up with, the Hot Ones game that I have no friends to play with. I still have the fucking sauce in my fridge from the game. Like I don't think you have to refrigerate it, but I refrigerated it anyway because I'm like, ‘it's hot sauce. ' Like, it should be perishable, but then I guess anything with a certain amount of vinegar is just preserved it preserved, you know? Damn, what the fuck am I about to say for an hour? I have no idea. I'm really nervous. I'm giving this entire album away for free. Stupid. Well, what the fuck? If nobody's going to buy it, might as well just like, you know, get it out there and get it to the next thing. I don't I don't have much else to say. What am I reading? Oh, I finally found my copy of the Odyssey Sure did. I think I have two copies of it, though. I think I have like a paperback version. Apparently the last time somebody opened it was 1981. Ans so I fucking I opened it and the whole the whole coverage just fell off, but I was getting my kicks. I really like…that book. I like that one. What else am I reading? Other things? I decided to finally. I decided to finally try to go through all the books I checked out of the library, like over a year ago so that I can take them back, but again, these things keep being relevant, like I just use them for reference. I'm really bad at libraries . I'm terrible at them. Like we could say historically, but I don't know, I haven't had like an enough adult experience with libraries to no, I'm like on record. It's I'm really bad at libraries. Yeah. like, really bad. Like, sometimes I've lost books on my way to take them back to the library. Isn't that ironic? Anyway, what the fuck is going on now? I don't know . The street Fighter's edition of “we don't give a fuck.” I'm guessing. I heard like a a like audible car accident and then like more yelling and it made me worry that somebody might be hurt because at first I was laughing. It was like and not like I heard the plastic crunch and, like, the fiberglass and I was like,” oh boy, ha ha.” And then like somebody was like yelling from the street and I didn't know if it was in relation to that because there's always crackhead down there. and there's always somebody doing some fuck shit right—there, and I'm like, ‘okay, all right, well, hopefully nobody got hurt. unless they were one of the people sitting under the window, like waiting to rev their engine. Then I'm like, “that's on you. I told you I'm not the one that deals karma at something else.” I don't know. I think it was just two vehicles, like not doing well together. New York drivers are not great, though. They have a very very little patience. Like, all you have to do is slow down a little and somebody's like,aby,ep,ep, beep, beep. I'm like, “Yo, dude like calm the fuck down. Calm the fuck down. Like that's not helping anything. It's not helping anything.” I think people need to work out more, maybe because I had already done my hour on the Peloton and whatever those vibes were were just like they were like shwing, like bouncing off me. I only did a couple lifts. I don't know why you gotta scowl. I guess I'm a little upset, cause I'm just I'm like a nice person. That's why I'm upset because I'm like, oh, like how do you do? I went frumpy. It's not like I'm like bending over in front of your man. It's like, 'hello, how y'all doing?' Like, I'm not doing that. All I'm doing is lifting. And then I fucking left because my fucking Amazon order was like, okay, it's delivered. And it said it was delivered early. So I could have gotten a couple more lifts in, but I didn't. I did not get those last few lifts in. So waiting because it was like, ‘yo, your package is in the mail room' and I was like, 'okay, cool.' So I went over back to the mail room and there was nothing there. and I was like , fuck this. Like, now I'm like sweating bullets. I'm like, 'oh my God. like, what if whoever stole my pancakes also stole this Amazon hall' — and like, Amazon keeps track of shit like that. so like I've had packages stolen before and they knew that by my credit card number they were like, ‘ yo like haven't you had this issue before?' I was like “yeah, but like that's why I told the Amazon driver to come to the door,” but the Amazon driver is like, ”no I'm fucking late or whatever, I'm not gonna do that!” Sometimes they do. It really just depends on what the fuck is going on. Sometimes I leave it at the fucking wear wherever I'm gonna leave it outside if I can. I'm like damn god damn. Like when when I was in the workforce workforce— cause trust me, like what I'm doing right now sometimes feels like slave wages. I'm like bro, did I really do this for two years and get $15 dollars? That doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. No, that doesn't mean that doesn't that doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. It doesn't, right? does it? That's not a lot. No, it's not. I also don't have “billions of streams”. This saddens me. Oh, I got the lights to match. That's good. I didn't think they were gonna match. Anyway, what the fuck was I saying? I've been in —fucking— “billions of streams”. You need ten million for a hit. I get like I get giddy when I hit 200 streams for a song. I'm like, ‘wow. they really liked it.' and it makes me wonder how the fuck did I even get those? Tame Impala, according to YouTube. According to YouTube, people who like Tame Impala will , like, sit on my music a little bit longer than people just random coming in from any of my other places, but I haven't checked on my analytics in a while because… I wasn't dropping music eguch making me sad to watch my numbers just plummet and makes me sad anyway, and now I'm gonna know about the numbers. I'm like, ‘well, whatever' Here's chairs of clown comes out. I picked the date, but I'm not saying shit about it, cause I can still change my mind. I could still change my mind. I still might, I don't know. We'll see how it goes. We'll see how it goes with the next few tracks. It's almost finished. It's really oh— Uptown A has a new single. Oh. not not out yet. It will be by the time you hear this though. It's called what's it called? Suede. It's really good. I listened to it and I was like, 'I really like this song‘ which, like I said, it happens about one every ten songs. I'm like, ‘I really like this. I really like this.' Like technically those are the only songs that should be out are the songs that I listen to and I'm like I should I like this, but I don't I don't sit on my work long enough to do that anymore. I just don't because also I'll bury shit and forget that I even fucking made it. And then, it'll— and then I'll be like, “oh, it'll give me anxiety that I have it and I haven't done anything with it. And I have an attachment to most of my songs. Like, I won't just sell my beats, my beats are not cheap, though. Like, I almost was on beatstars—this website for be selling, but there was a couple things that made me not do it mostly, I guess they're trying to, I guess what they're trying to do is like sell their brand or whatever. So everybody that's already on the site was talking about how there's no—like, it's it's really hard to get circulated as an artist. Like you'll have beats on there for months and years at a time without selling any beats. And you have to be like, really aggressive about, um, like you like my it would like I'm already being really aggressive about my actual songs, so like to be that aggressive about my beats would not be like it would be like two different things. It felt like two different paths, so I didn't do it. But what was I just saying about that? Oh, my beats are not cheap. Like, I'm not gonna do 20 for 20. It would literally have to take me less than five minutes for me to sell beat that cheap. Like I would have to throw it together with like no technique whatsoever, just a bunch of loops, and then I'd be like, here's some which is what I was planning to do with some drill beats, because I know that they're just like drill beats are cheap, like period, because they don't I don't think they matter so much as long as it's got the bass and then, like, whatever that little dude is saying. It's always a little dude. It's always a little dude. It's likeah, ‘yeah. I uh,' I don't know, I love artists. I I'm starting to feel less like an artist, though, and more like a producer, or like, you know, like a creator of sorts. I'm borrowing, though. I'm not going to I'm not going to lie. Because, hell, man, he's such a dick sometimes. I was like, bro. be like something some artist, something, something, and Gee was like, “I'm not an artist, I'm a creator!” But that's I guess since it's so easy for anybody to just say like “I'm an artist” now, I don't know, I feel like that's the whole point of like the human experience is like, everybody has an art like, you know, it's just the thing that makes it difficult is that adding value to it has no, there's no right and there's no wrong and there's no good and there's there's bad. There's bad. There's a lot of art in the world that's just bad. It's not good, but like to the person that made it, like that's their shit. So like in that way their technically is no bad because to that at least one person in the world, the person who made it, it's good. So when it comes to art, there's technically no right and wrong. I'm not going to say there's no good and bad, because I like I said, I collect bad music. Like if it's if it's notoriously bad, I'll be like, yeah. like it's probably easier to get my attention if your music is bad, than if it's good. If it's good, I'm almost intimidated like as an artist. Like, I'll be like, oh, this is too good. It's probably gonna make myself esteem not great. if I spend too much time with it. That's true. I don't listen to really good artists anymore, because I'm like, oh, man. Like, I'll just sit there and shit on myself and be like, why, am I not at this level? And even when it comes down to it and it's like all about business and all about like, you know, your connections or like, you're you know, like it's about who you know. And like, look, sometimes it's about talent, but like less of the time than it should be. Like, sometimes it's just like, who your parents are and all this shit. So it's like, I shouldn't feel that way, but I had a lot of the time I can't help it. Like, I'll be sitting and listening to an artist that's like, you know, ”billions of streams!”. and I'm like, “fuck this.” I'm like, ‘I don't wanna hear this. cause I'm not there.' It's like, is, it if I have any kind of envy or jealousy in me, it's probably that. But then when it comes down to it's like, you gotta take the good with the bad. It's not all fucking pancakes, it is all pancakes. Most of this actually. whatever I cut. I'm looking forward to this smoothie. This would better be the best protein I ever had in my life for the price that I paid for, this is better be the fucking best smoothie I've ever had. Uh, we'll see. This is about to be smoothies and miso time. I'm trying to lose 50 pounds. i don't know what realm that is, but I think. I'm pretty sure that would require, like losing muscle, which is fine. I'm— I might be too strong. I went to the gym. I didn't need to. That dude, I swear to God he flipped me off. ‘Cause here's what happened, is, like, the Amazon package said it was delivered. I was like ”cool. all right.” So I left the gym. I was like, ‘bye.' I was like, ‘see ya.' And I, well, I was lifting. Did I make him feel like a bitch? Is that what it was? Because—because I was lifting and I was just whatever light work because I'm actually in a lot of pain. Like, I told myself that I was I was going to buy myself a gift because nobody buys me gifts on the one day that you should everybody should get a gift on this one day and nobody buys me gifts on this day. So I was like, ‘I'm going to buy myself a gift.‘ But as soon as I put money like, aside for that, I had this injury and I immediately just took money out of that fund for fucking ibuprofen and I was like, hey. Another year. Like that's that's my gift. I was like, So so I'm in a lot of pain, so I'm not doing it like regular I'm in my harem pants and I'm in pain. So I'm like not doing anything special. And I'm doing this, and this dude. I think I made him feel like a bitch. That's what that was, cause like, I don't know what they were doing, some YouTube thing where they were like flapping their arms around, like dinkus, DINKUS., that's what you look like. You look like a dinkus, anyway. I'm not paying attention to I'm not giving people negative attention until they're doing weird shit around me. Then I'm like, now I'm looking at you because you're mean mugging me. Don't do that. I don't with your face, dear, I don't recommend that. Don't don't scrunch up your face like that. No. Anyway, mm. aren't all people beautiful? No, not if you live in New York long enough. Eventually, everybody just scoe at each other to death. That's the whole place. I'm like, where are the happy people at? Fucking on a plane! I think for rich people, the quality of life here is different. I think that the luxury of living in New York is that they're like, ”I live in New York”, but they do that like, around the globe. That's what they do. They're like, yeah, I live in New York, but like they're hardly ever in New York. Or there's just a bunch in New York that I haven't seen while I've seen it when the sun hits it just right, it glistens. I'm like, ‘oh. that's a different place.' No, it's an optical illusion. Oh, it doesn't exist. I'm like, “okay, all right.” Try to find that shiny ass, what is that golden —[thingy] anyway? I'm like, “nah, no, it's a trap, “ because if you actually get to Manhattan on the street level, it's just like you can't see the buildings. Like you just at the bottom and you just shadows, even on the sunny days, just like you're in the cold shadows. That's what that place is. I haven't been over there in so long. Never in Manhattan. That place is scary. It's like a supercomputer. But— I guess performance wise in comparison to other like, major cities in the world is not great. I feel like it's pretty great. I feel like it's pretty great. But, you know, I haven't seen Tokyo or where where else was on that list? I don't know, I skipped around a lot. My ADD is unchecked. up. Anyway, I'm kind of annoying, I's okay. Somebody's gonna like it. Somebody, there's somebody for everybody. You see? I don't know why that pissed me off, because that's the second time I got a scowled at in the elevator by an ugly girl. I'm like, why the fuck are you ugly? Oh, cause you're scowling at me. I didn't even see that until you darted me those fucking little eyes. and then I was like “ugh. rude!” I like, I think it's the vibe. I think that's what that is. Cause like, I also notice when people smile at me and I'm like, ”oh, what a beautiful person,” or if somebody's just like resting, not even resting resting bitch face, just like resting face. Like if there's actually muscles in your body that are working towards being angry at me, I notice. I'm like, ”oh, yo, don't do that.” I don't know why that bothered me so much. Then her dude fucking leans over to fucking press the elevator button and he does it with his middle finger. Like, I like to think if it's like if the button and the finger are like like adjacent to your face, like, eye level and here comes the middle finger. You like, that dude was flipping me off, but I'm like, I don't know, I don't know why you would do that. I think I made him feel like a bitch in front of his mean girl. Why—why are you if you're in a couple, why is anybody in this situation mad? Like if you're in a loving, happy, like a healthy relationship, like you shouldn't even see the rest of the world around you, honestly. If you're two people in love, you don't notice like you don't see shit like that. Like the whole world just caves. like it just falls around like you don't notice when you're all fucking in love and all giggly and everything. She's like 'ha ha like, yes, we are together and nothing else really exists. ‘ Like that's I don't know why the fuck you guys are both mean mugging, like that seems like some self reflective. I don't know what the fuck you mad at. I just that a couple lifts. He like starts doing pushups I was like,get it. get it!” Because, I'm encouraging like that, but I'm not looking at him because honestly, eh. like. Like, she don't jump for much these days. Like, she really knows when she likes something, my dragon, or whatever. Like she really knows. She's like, ”yeah, yeah.” But for the most part, like, I don't know, I can tell in like a person's aura or like a vibe, like, if they have something for me, something for me, you know, like if something is— she's gonna notice, she's gonna like, oh, hey, but nothing here. So I don't know why I have the fuck you're looking at me like that, cause the way you're looking at me is pissing me off, and that's how contagious— that's how contagious negative energy could be. Luckily, I was already on the Peloton for an hour. I just finished a song that made me laugh a lot. It made me laugh a lot, and in the moment in the moment, what's fucked up is everybody was heckling this guy, but I think he might have actually been like a professional or he was just some crackhead. I don't think so. First of all, he got the most laughs. I'm listening back to this recording and I'm like, “yo, everybody's—” he made me laugh. I heard myself laugh on this recording. And then as I'm making this song, the number of different laughs from around the room that I'd like that were beautiful to me because I love the sound of laughter… So the difference this I'll— I'll talk more in depth about this album as it's finished and as it's coming out in the next few days. um I still have ‘All The Rage' to come out before that. What day is it coming out? The 10th? Yeah, the 10th. All The Rage is coming out on the 10th, but it has a single coming out on the the All The Rage has a single coming out on April 7th called Sweet Dreams, and then it'll be out three days later. It's pretty much like a hype up single. There's two singles out from that. Yeah, Hot Little Number is also on All The Rage. So Hot Little Number is coming out in the next couple days, because they just felt like there should be at least like one release in March. I did some releases in early March, but not much. Um, and then oh, the single for yeah, I'm only taking one single off of that, because they're so massive. All the songs on Tears of a Clown are like six, five, six, seven minutes. It's it's a true concept album. It's true to itself, and so that's it's cool because it's kind of like pushing me into the next batch of things and working on a I don't know if it's a remix or if it's just like a a dubstep song with heavy sampling cause I'm getting into more dub stuff. butit's crazy cause I got mad at myself because I was like, “oh, I really wanted to fucking I really wanted to finish this.” I don't wanna jinx it so I don't wanna talk about what it is. But I'll talk about it when it does get done. And now I'm understanding that like it's just being major focusshifted. Like, because I cared so much about it that I didn't want to just do it and then be like, that's it. Like, that's it. And it was gonna go on Tears of a Clown but then I was like, I can't because it samples a song that was actually I think it was like a fucking I think it was a hit-ish a TikTok. is it really a hit which it's just on TikTok? I think so, because of the audience on that TikTok has. I refuse. I refuse. I downloaded TikTok once during the pandemic and two things made me never ever go on TikTok again is that it only showed me what appeared to be underage girls doing things that I would slap the shit out of anybody I saw doing like you could be a grown ass woman if you did any of those things. I would hit you like, I—well—no. I'm learning about this. I'm like, ‘oh.' I'm learning about people who make you want to hit them, but you can't. That's things like that's as I think it's a coming of age. I've never had this experience before where it's like, oh, like, you're doing everything in the world to make me want to hurt you. but I can't. Like I have to exercise restraint. That's a fucked up feeling. It's like being penned down. I'm like, oh, like like that's like you can't like you can't do anything about it. You can't do anything about it. What are you gonna do about it?? I don't know, boss up. That's the only thing I can do. I'm like, well, that's that, but oh, it makes me wonder, what makes me kind of understand to a certain extent, like, bro, like, is this what it's like to have a girlfriend? She's gonna make me mad. She's gonna well, I'm I'm not that kind of guy. And I swear to that I'm not. I swear I'd probably be that kind of lesbian, though. like bitch, I will hit you. We are the same gender. like, we could duke it out. We could dupe this out! I'm kidding. I'm not violet. I swear to God, I'm not. But sometimes like I guess it's an episode about about energy, negative energy. It's like I work out enough that like it should just roll off today this. But it wasn't like violent. It was just like, “ooh. girl. You better stop flapping those arms and get you a Peloton. I don't know what the fuck you're looking at me like that for!” I swear, because the anger the anger set into my body.'s like, bro, I just don't like looking at shit that don't look good. I'm an aesthetic person, so like, that's why I don't jog in my neighborhood, cause for the most part, like, I'm gonna take in too much negative, like the negative is gonna outweigh the positive. Like, I can run in circles around whatever my radius around this bitch. but if I see too much trash on the ground, it just depresses me. Like it just makes me upset. and so it like undoes the good that I'm doing by running unless I'm sprinting, but I can't do too much of that. I can't do too much of that. I sprinted almost two miles yesterday I almost top speed, and then those my motorcycle stalkers started stalking me, and so I st like I—I like ran out of steam. I was like, you know I was like, I was like, ugh. There they are. Like, that's weird. How can something like that happen? Anyway. I was like, nah, I'm just gonna fucking jog the rest of this little the rest of this the this last mile or whatever. I'm just gonna jog it, but I sprinted most of that, but then when I got back, I was like, why the fuck am I out of energy? Bitch, because you hit like 11 miles at least. I'm pretty sure what my top speed is like between 11 and 12. if I just spread it, but then that's slow. In comparison to some. That's what I'm saying. pretty sure I wrote like a rhyme recently. I'm I'm not writing so much as organizing, try to anyway. I'm doing a lot at once. What else happened? I don't know. I'm not scowling, your boyfriend's not that cute. I wasn't even looking until you made that face, and I'm like, wh are you trying to defend something here? Is it worth defending? Oh, but the first girl that scowled me, her boyfriend is cute. She needs to do that more, but she needs to be with him, when she does that, like, “girl, you better wash your man's!” .And he has a accent. I don't know where the fuck he's from, cause half of the shit he said was not. I was like, what? what? He is cute. I didn't notice that when she was scowling at me, and that's probably why she I was like, “what is that face? “ Girl? And then I didn't know that was him, cause he went into their apartment. Don't worry, I'm not that kind of girl. like, that's yours. I guess keep making that face. Keep making that face. Do that. Do that. He's cute. I think she'd be cute too, if she wasn't doing that. So, you know, whatever. They' they're probably— and $4 got her flowers! Aw. Aw, and then he said something, oh, cause he thought, and so he doesn't think un is, don't worry. Don't worry, he doesn't. He thought I was delivering Amazon packages because I picked up my Amazon packages. I was picking up my packages and he was like, “oh, you don't need a key for the elevator.“ And I was like, not trying to explain. Like, "No, I live here, I know that. Like” so I was like, okay. And at first I thought he might be like this sounds bad. At first I thought he was deaf, cause whatever he said sounded like a whole, like a whole rolling mumble, and I was like, okay, and I was still listening to my fucking music. And then he kept talking. and so I was like, oh, I have to —and I wasn't even looking at him until I like turned off my music. And then I was I was like, damn. who the fuck is this? And then I was like, oh, like I saw that he lives on the same floor as me. and I was like, ”oh, “ like the elevators and the the the buttons and the elevator are different on both sides. So it depends on which elevator you get where the button is and I press the wrong button, and so he thought I was delivering Amazon package. I was like, no, I'll live here. like like I live here.We live on the same floor, you actually pressed the button already”, and then he said something back and I was like, 'oh, oh, he's he's just from somewhere else. He's not American.' i usually only like American dudes. I like dudes sometimes, not not all the time. I like dudes, sometimes. I like men all the time. That's all around the clock thing that I like. I like them more, increasingly, and the more like stable I get my singularity. I really like them because they can do all the fuck they like all the fuck shit they do is entertaining because they're not doing it to me. I'm like, “okay. I see. like that.” Yeah. I'd be A real, real real, real broad dyke. I'm not gonna lie. I don't like females. I'm not anti feminist. I just for the most part, like get impatient, cause I'm like, what can you do for me? Nothing. Nothing, exactly. I like a friend or something. No, females are never friends with each other. Let's just get that clear. I think I've just figured this out. I just figured this out, like, we'll pretend to be in each other's best interests…. Usually, I mean it. Because I'm not all the way I'm not 100% female. I am very nonbinary in the way they're like I genuinely, genuinely care—typically— if I if I care. if I let myself care, then I genuinely care. But I don't not have the same experience with other females and so I'm just learning this though. Like I'm just learning other females in the competitive sense as I'm learning males. I'm like, “oh, like, I get it. Like if you sense any superiority in me whatsoever, like, you're like, I become your enemy, like, I become your target and you're trying to kill me!” I'm like, ‘that sucks.' To me, like, but if I sense any inferiority in you whatsoever, you're like a nonfactor. Like, I don't— I'm not trying to kill you. I don't care what happens to you. I already won. Let's just all be this way. Just have a oh, oh, that was that thing that I heard. The one thing that I heard. I was like, and it clicked in my brain a certain way. It was that ‘insecurity makes people act crazy.' And I don't know why, but like it clicked with me in a certain way because typically I don't have to bring my insecurities out front or if I do, it works for me in a way that like— it works for me, because if I point if I point like I guess that's the comic or comedian in me. If I point out my indiscretions or my flaws, then it works for me because typically, the person that does sense that inferiority in some kind of way, they get kind of like, it if inflates their ego. It puffs them up and makes them feel like, oh, like, you know, like or, you know, OR— it makes them what's it called, like sympathize with you if they have like some of the same insecurities and it puts you on the same level of equality where it like humanizes you are humanizes them and then you and then you have like, a connection. I'm I'm just you know, I'm just figuring out like human connection in the way that, like, makes sense. So, I'm not I I'm not gonna pretend to know everything because I wouldn't want to. I wouldn't want to. and I with the understanding that, like, on a conscious level, like I well, I mean, like certain certain factors certain factors would indicate that yes, on a conscious level, I do and am, and know everything, but, like to be aware of it at all times would literally be insanity. I wouldn't want to be like allie was like that a lot of the time and I was like,bro, you need to get off God because I well, God is where he went. He was like,I'm just gonna die.” I was like “cool. fuck you, dude. Fuck you.” Like he was like, I'm just gonna die. *Explode! * i was like, all right, ‘whatever. Whatever dog.' I was still a little bit. I am I still grieving? I'm still grieving? I'm thinking I'm like in the acceptance part. where it's like,‘ oh, you're you're right. Like you're you're right about a lot of things and like your freedom is that you're hopefully. Well, see, he might have had some other shit to do. He might have had other shit to do, so I just I kind of have this thing where it's like he still actually like he's in another realm figuring out. figuring out things. Figuring out things. That's what you do when you die, and you haven't done everything yet. I know that much, but I know that the less I know, the better, ha, Tame Impala and also like, he's just a five. And again, uh, I don't I don't the whole music industry is herpes, like, don't touch me, don't well, Tame Impala can do better. So, so, I don't worry about things like that. I don't to worry about things like that, but the whole music industry, Herpes. I don't I don't think it would be hard to be with another musician. Like, really? I like pretty dudes. I like pretty guys, and I like pretty men. Pretty boys, though. I'm like,' oh, youes gots to learnings to do.” You gots to fuck around for like 50 more years. And then maybe we can have like a tea. In 50 years?! yeah, yeah. was you know, then what are we gonna do? There's none of like all the dumb shits out the way. All the dumb shit and all those dumb girls. all the girls like get the girls out of the way and then like a few of the women, like a lot of the women, like, get all the dumb shit out the way. And then talk to me. or don't. In fact, in fact, that's how I wanted to go. My next actual thing with like a person of the opposite gender should be—seriously wordless. like, it shouldn't have to have like, I don't have to explain myself to you. if I have to do that, I'm already doing too much work. I would I think I just might be a single forever. It's cool. I'm like “yay, I got over it.” And now I well, how am I gonna— I'm like I devising a plan, “how to hold babies without being weird.” Like, I—I want to do that. I don't necessarily want to take it all the way. Like, I don't wanna be I don't wanna be a midwife or a dula. don't wanna be like a baby— I don't want to be anything in the medical field because gross. Gross, gross. I thought I was gonna be at EMT for a while, because they're like, “oh, no, no, you're too old to be a firefighter!” That's okay. after living this long in New York, I'm like, running into a burning building would probably be like at the top of my priorities, if that were my job. You don't don't talk to me on the wrong day. I will try and fail to save everybody in this burning building. That's I'm you know, that's where I'm at. so it's probably good that I missed the cut off for being an actual firefighter. But then, oh, I signed up to be an EMT and they were like, oh, it's a year and a half wait, but then once you get into the program, the way that it works is that like you ‘technically, like word training you on a loan. So like everything that you make in the first, however many years, you actually owe back to us and you can't quit.' And I was like, that's kind of that's okay, because it's like job security. But then ey, I met an EMT that was taking the same bus as I was and I was like bro like that doesn't make sense. Like, you have a you have a full-time job and we're on the same bus, that's no. No, like you should be able to afford the next level of transportation hug. That's that's wrong, that's a hard job. ‘You should get paid more,' but then I was like, it's okay.' What was the second thing? Oh, I went to the ER. My first trip to the ER in New York was like was like the trip that I would never take to the ER in a third world country. I like I thought about it in Mexico a couple times. I was like, ‘bro, if it came down to it.' Because I saw like a building that I didn't know was like a functional building. I thought it was like a shell of a building, but then there was like a there was like a flickering sign on the front of the building that was like, you know, this is a hospital, this is the ER. And I was like, “no, it's not.” And I was like “this is like a shut down hospital, right?” But then there was like somebody at the entrance and I was like, 'okay.' And then I thought to myself 'like, okay, if I had to go to this fucking hospital or like just duke it out with whatever the fuck is happening, like what would be my choice?' And I was like, ‘I would probably just like take it.' I'd probably just take it. I'm not gonna lie, you know? like that. But the end, well I had to go, I had to go and honestly, New York ER is not super different, not you like not not anything like the ERs on the West Coast. is not the safest place. No. No, I did not want to be there. And then when I'd witnessed what an EMT does in a New York City, like ER, I was like, oh. I am— uh what's it called? [withdrawing] I'm taking out my applications. Oh, that was hardcore. What was it like a gunshot? It was something I think it was. I think that was a couple gunshot wounds in there. I was like, you know, 'no, this is what they do. This is what they do all the time.' Ive just I've reached a level of I can't do that with a lot of professions. Like, don't get me wrong. I'm not unwilling to work. It's just like I can't. Like my heart can't take it. Like it cannot. I've, you know, I've been around. I'm no spring chicken. I've already had some grief. grief. Like I don't think I can do that. So hat's off to the people in the blue, whatever. “all lives matter.” This is true. But, you know, I'm not picking those sides. Anyway, it is true. Everybody. Everybody makes sense in a certain way, right? Okay, I'm just trying to take up this last minute. What the fuck was this episode for? That was a fast hour. I'm surprised by myself. Don't scowl if you're ugly. Like, don't be ugly and scowl. I don't I don't know which thing happened first. I don't know if she was already ugly, so she's scowling. or if the scowling just, like changed everything. I've said this before, I'll say it again, like you can be —you can look, however, but as a person who like sees sings speaks vibrations, like if your whole shit's fucked up. like, that's what I see. So it will be the prettiest girl, boy, man, trans. You could be the prettiest cat. You would be a cat. I'm— I'm not— look, you know, I'm not into beastiality; pansexuality. sure, you know? I've had crushes on trees. Me and my Peloton have a thing going, but I spend a lot of time sitting on it. [MENACING IMMORTAL LAUGHER] a.k.a “mwahaha' Sorry. Okay, I was about to— That's enough, right? Yeah, that was so— —Somebody help that fucking bitch. they lady, man! that lady in her fucking dragon I don't know what the fuck is gonna happen. Like, don't worry, it is a very small percentage of people in the whole population that she's actually gonna try to actually hunt down and murder. You know, gently. death by snusnu. as possible as most of these dudes don't have, you know, like, I'll kill you. Don't scowl at me, and like, I will literally kill your boyfriend. Like, doll like by choice, though, I wouldn't kill him. So don't worry, you can take that face off now. Jesus Christ all day anyway. All day and all night, okay? Have a good day or night or whenever the fuck you're listening to this. Thank you for listening. More stuff soon, because we'll see what happens with the like, you know, with the website and whatever. I am you dot guru. That's what it is for the foreseeable future. That's what that is. I i A-M-U DOT GURU I gotta work on this website. It's gotta be it's like I can't overhype it. I can't do all this spelling out and promoting my own website if it's not gonna be like the most spectacular—smoothie that I've ever had, which is happening right now. Amen. {Enter The Multiverse} The Complex Collective © [The Festival Project ™ ] -Ū.

{Hot Little Number} All right. Ah…, you know what? I don't feel like making a mix tape . My mix tapes have been lackluster lately. What up? I'm recording daily for the show right now. I don't have a plan or anything like that. I'm just, uh, what am I doing? Oh. I am, uh, I have to take some time. *weird surfer laugh* between right now and the next song on this album and whatever else I'm doing. I'm also, um I'm like weird. I'm I'm reclaiming my time. Um, my sleep schedule is changing again. I think I'm just like a rolling… I'm like a I'm like the floater. Hello, what's going on? I don't think I've opened with hello for a while, but it's been random. It's been touch and go. I had a little voice today that was like ”do not leave your house.” And I was like, “first of all, I don't have a house. This is an apartment building.” But then I was like, well, I was waiting on this Amazon package God bless Amazon or, you know, one ever bless it. Just bless it, bless the thing, cause you never know what's gonna happen. You know, though they happen monopoly on all the needs. why would I buy this for six dollars if I could get it for two? it's it is the necessary evil right? I—Yeah. Everything's a necessary evil. I just figured it out, like this body is a necessary evil. Like I wouldn't even be existing in this way if I didn't have to. And then when I don't have to, I get to be free again. you know? Anyway, what the fuck was I just saying? or not saying, not saying for the most part. I don't have much to say, I'm not I'm really excited, I'm glad about how that last tract turned out, but it's not uh it's not finished. What what is finished? Oh, I had those two singles cleared, so hot little numbers is out today, but you won't hear this today. I can't I have no guarantees no guarantees about when you will hear this. I'm not sure anyway, I had a little voice in my head that was like do not leave your house and I was like, “I don't this is not a house.” And I was waiting on an Amazon package and Amazon the app does this weird thing where it's like, it'll be like the driver is this many stops away. this many stops away and it'll go from like three stops away to deliver it sometimes. So I was like refreshing and refreshing the page, like had nothing else to do. No, I just have to this is one of those times every few weeks where I have to not work out vigorously, and I had like a good run yesterday, but I think I overdid it after a period of stagnancy where I just didn't run that much at all. I didn't run that much at all. And then I ran like a lot and I was liking it so much because I was getting to go high speed, but if I'm out in my neighborhood every day running like that, like things get weird and shifty, so I don't I don't get the luxury of doing that all the time. cause my neighborhood is kind of just like a weird, bad shit, crazy place. I don't even think it really exists, like on the actual like, I think it's on grid off grid. Like I—I swear to God, there's things that move around that like should not, like things that are there and then are not, and then things that like it's just, you know, whatever. What is this episode for? I don't know if I can talk for an hour. I can't say, my energy's a little bit different, a little bit fucked up. Why was I not supposed to leave? I didn't give a fuck. I already did now we're on the Peloton, which is why I'm doing the subside right now. Well, I found a podcast that I might be interested in. I'm not sure. It takes it takes a lot. Like I realized that when I do this podcast, I'm giving myself energy. I don't know how but it gives me energy to to listen back to something that it feels like. I've never heard it before. Because I'm kind of an automatic out—out my body when I'm making these episodes and so it's not. It's like it's like hearing something new. Also, my my grown up voice doesn't sound like me to me. So I'm like, ah, like it's still new every time. hundrers of episodes later, it's new every time. For an hour at a time, and I'm really enjoying my Peloton. So would that being said, what do I have any honorable mentions? No, None. There's none at all. I am technically behind schedule well, actually, I mean like I'm catching up, you know, is this just on random? That's gonna bug me. where'd I put the remote. I liked the pattern that was on one of these lights in my studio, and so I thought it was gonna stay there, but it's alternating. I wonder if I can find that one thing that has started on again. Ooh, that's cool. Is it gonna stay there, though? That's dope. I'll just leave that like that— anyway. I'm going back to being a night person cause that's where the things are calm. That's where things are calm, but I'm also coming out of my like weird antisocial space cause of voice in my head was like, though, don't go out of your house. I was like, this is not a house. If it was, I probably wouldn't, but it's not, so I have to go do things in order to make sure that one day I have a house that I can choose to or not to leave. So. I was like, “yeah, I'll do that. I'll go wait for the Amazon guy.” “ I'll go wait for the Amazon guy and jus, like, creep. And so I did that. I went to go creep for the Amazon guy, and it was like, well, it's still three stops away and I was like, this is making me nervous cause it said three stops for like a good 30 minutes. I was like, ‘that's a long three stops.' So, I was like, just sitting in the lobby and I couldn't stand it. Like, I couldn't stand just standing there. So I turned around, I checked my mail, and it was like the same three articles that have been in there for like a month. I just leave them in there. I'm like, ‘these are of no importance really.' So I just leave whatever's in there in there. And I check my mail and I was like, ‘I can't just stand here like this!' and so I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go to the gym for like five seconds because you know, it wasn't worth it and I knew there would be other people there because it's during the day. and there was, and I don't know, I guess I'm I guess I'm uh I guess I'm — I'm better now. As long as I don't have to have that experience all the time, cause I did go straight in there and then a dirp derp followed me in there and I was like, well, that kind of proves my point. So I left the downstairs and I went to the upstairs and there was this this girl just okay, advice: Like if you're ugly, don't be mean. I don't know if she was ugly cause she was mean, or if she was mean cause she was ugly. I don't know, but if you're ugly don't be mean, it makes it worse. That's just advice coming from somebody that's been ugly my whole life! So I'm not mean to people because you can't, like, you can't be ugly and mean. That's extra bad, bro, like, pick one thing and stick with it, but don't be mean and ugly. look, if you're ugly be really nice do that do that anyway, this girl: I don't know why the fuck people mean mug me. Like it's their business. I'm like, 'is this your job?‘ What is wrong?! What is wrong!? I don't know, because I went frumpy as fuck. It's not like I'm dressed. I went in a shirt that I found. I literally found this on a jog. It was brand new, though, and I keep wondering what the where the fuck it came from because I was like bro, if I was going to make T-shirts it would be like this. And it like it looked like it came hot off the press, like somebody screenrinted it for me. It's the coolest shirt. It's the coolest shirt and it brand new, and it was like brand new when I picked it up and saw it was like cool. But I went in like these they were marketed as fucking like you get what you pay for it. They were marketed as high impact sports bas, but then I put it on and it was pretty much like mesh with no support at all. Like I can't even run in them! I can't run in them, but I'm not running because I'm waiting for this injury to fucking all the swelling to go down or whatever. So I was on the Peloton, but I took it easy or whatever. and then I was like, 'well, my shoulders have been bothering me.' I'm trying not to take more than one bath a day. I do take a lot of baths, but it's cause I don't have a sauna anymore! That's why I'm like, oh man, my body got so used to like that extra pushing everything out and then like now if I don't, like my muscle just get all sore and whatever. I've thought about trying like creatine. I don't know, I'm just such a meathead when I when it comes down to it and I'm like bro, if I really get into training or like gym rattiness, like I —I go like probably to half. So my so I haven't been like lifting or anything like that, just cardio and um and I've been eating rice, so I'm I'm thick, you know, like i'm frumpy as fuck, just waiting for this Amazon order to come, and so I go into like the bottom level of the gym because I saw two people at the top and I was like, ‘oh, I'm gonna give you your space or whatever.' And so I went to the bottom, and I did a couple lifts or whatever, but then a derp-derp came in and she was on the phone like “blah, blah, blah, blah,” and I was like, ‘see. that just fucking proved my point.'and so I fucking went upstairs. I was like no matter what, like these fucking derp-derps. And so I was like, okay. And so I went back upstairs where, like the girl and I guess that was her man. I don't know. I guess maybe that's why she was looking at me. like that. I'm not looking at him! I'm looking at you scowling at me. Don't do that! Anyway. Fucking OH—I met the boyfriend of the other girl. I didn't know that was her boyfriend. Now I know why she was scowling at me. Stop scowling, like your face is gonna get stuck like that! I guarantee you and it's already not a good looking face. I'm only noticing this because you're scowling at me with it. Don't do that like I'm getting to the age where I'm careful like I smile when I want to frown like I have this natural, like a droopy dog, like a cartoon droopy dog face when something really hits me a certain way, my face will just automatically and, like — people only— — it like —I only know about it because people call attention to it like something would happen I'd make that face and they'd be like, what is that face? And I'm like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about until one day I guess I like noticed the muscular change in my face and I was like, oh, that face and so now I'm aware of it, but it's not something that I do on purpose. It's something that I do as a reaction to something, but now I'm getting to the age where I'm like, yo, if I keep making this face, there's gonna be lines in this area. Like there's gonna be lines in this area where there where there's going to be lines anyway, eventually, but I can prevent the like I can like if you smile more, you get smile lines when you get older, and if you frown, like that, then you get that face and I'm not trying to look like somebody's fucking dog, you know, like a fucking like, you know, like a cute dog, like a chow chow or like, what are those things? I don't know, I don't I don't know, I don't know. Anyway, how the fuck is like, oh, don't scowl! And I was like, I don't know if that's just your aura or your face, but now that you're looking at me like that, like, bro, don't don't do that. Don't be ugly and mean. Like you can either be mean, like most pretty people are mean, but then it's like, oh, I see why. I see why you're mean like that. Beautiful women are like usually. I'm like, ”you—scowl, I guess, but I mean like, it doesn't necessarily make anything worse if you're like a certain…” I don't scowl. I know I'm ugly. I don't go around like American people with my face I'm like don't do that. Don't do that, bro. Otherwise, good looking girl, otherwise otherwise, anyway, I don't know, I guess it's just uh, I've been here too long, dealing with this. Don't scowl, bro! I hate that! And then it's like, oh, I'm only looking at what you're I guess wanting me not to look at because you're looking at me like that and then I'm like, oh, I hate to see a good looking guy with like an ugly girl and then I'm like, 'bro like that's a waste. That's just a whole waste. This whole thing is a waste and you shifted my mind into thinking that way! now I'm mean!” passing on negativeives and shit ugly don't be ugly anyway what the fuck what? was that the story? Well, I mean, like I was just lifting for five seconds. I was only waiting on an Amazon package. I'd like to think that when somebody fucking presses their elevator button with their middle fing that they are flipping you off, but I was like, what did I do to you? Nothing, anyway. When do I have to say for the next fucking 20 minutes? That makes me seem like a shitty person, but I'm not that. I'm not that shitty. I finally did watch I finally did watch Bob the Drag Queen's opening monologue for the Queerlie's. That's what they're called. It's like on my it's on my to do list to be invited to a place like this. This is where I want to go and I'm like I'm not I I want well, I mean like I'm straight. I'm straight. Well, I'd like to think of my I'm like a gay man. I'm gay like a man for men. I'm like a gay man. I don't know how to I'm gay for men. And yeah. I guess I'm kind of queer. I don't know. I don't think so. Because when I think about aquer means like you can go both ways, I'm not going no way but one at this point. I'm strictly dickly. Super duper straight. I like dudes. I like gay dudes. That's a problem. That's like a like an ongoing problem. If I like a guy, I'm like, ”oh, man, he's probably gay.” He is he's gay, you know? It's it's okay. But you whatever, I just like dudes. I like all dudes. No, I don't like all dudes. I like all men. There's a fucking hard line between dudes, guys, men, boys don't like boys. Definitely like I don't even like college students anymore like even graduate students, I'm like oh, who are you? What do you baby? Oh, they're cute, like football players, professional athletes, children. They're children. They're adonises, sure, statuesque, perhaps genetically gifted, absolutely am I attracted? No. no, That's a kid. That's what I see. I'm old I'm old, that's okay. I like it. I'm starting to get like excited for Amazon packages that are not—I'm like, I'm opening my Amazon package like I waited all day for this. There's nothing in here.' regular household items, like true facts, facts. ah, but you know what? I paid a pretty price for this protein. It'd better be the best protein (it's not the best.) It's probably maybe the second best. Becahse the best that I've ever tried. I'm not behind the $80 per80 for 15 servings. That's too much. I haven't even actually done the fucking math on that, but that's too many. That's what that is. That's what that is. Like for protein? Anyway, what the fuck was I talking about? beef? Nah, I was talking about being meaty, but not in the way that you would think. And then I was talking about the Queerly's, so I guess we're back on meat, kind of. kind of. I don't know. what was it what was my point about that? Oh, I just I like gay culture, like not as like a, you know, I like it. I love it. I wanna go to the queeries. I wanna vogue. I still can't I can't bring myself to go to a vogue club in New York because I'm just like, bro, oh, that's what it was. I mean but not like drag queen mean. No. ans then I was thinking about I was thinking about Joan Rivers RIP and I was like is technically like like if she ex if a certain if a person like her existed now, would she be canceled? Like, because she was not nice. She was honest. Whixh is not necessarily always like a nice thing. So I mean like I don't I don't think I'm mean, especially when Bob the drag Queen reminded me that, like, yo, Gays are super fierce to each other, like to the point where it's like, oh, that's mean. Like, I forget that people actually like openly what's it called. Is it called roasting, like on all fronts? I don't know. I don't forget that, but, you know, it's when was the last good roast, though? Not for a long time. A lot of red tape, a lot of things you can't say. I think that's the theme that, you know, the cancellation of like the entire human race, has just changed media. It just changed theater, like, “Ohp, you can't say that!” Like, I'm I'm gonna say that. Maybe. I don't know, my whole my whole thing changes when I see other people. I'm like, oh, this could turn into like one of those fucking like this could be a stampede real quick. The herd mentality is thick and this motherfucker. If too many people all agree that I'm the enemy, this is bad for me. is bad. I'mma just stay— I'mma to just stay neutral. No honorableensions, nothing. I'm still I'm just in the midst. I'm in the thick of it, putting my things and my stuff together. I realized I'm really glad about a lot of things. Pretty glad about things. Um Also, um kind of a tortured soul. I'm not miserable, though. And I'm really good at not spreading my misery. That shit is like contagious as fuck. It's gross. Like, I'd rather be sneezed on than have some people's like form of depression or mental illness. I like, yo, you keep that to yourself. But in a lot of ways, those things are way more fucking spreadable, way more spreadable than just like like I can get over the flu, whatever your daddy did to you. I don't know. Anyway, no daddy jokes, that's also I can I'm like, uh, okay, what can you say? What can't you say? Because I'm about to take this thing to the next level. What is the next level? What is the next level Of which part? I'm in a lot of different I'm in like a lot of different, like, high stakes games. A lot of them. And so I'm like, “okay, what's the next comedy level? not falling on my face every time? It's probably a good place to start. It's probably a good place to start. We'll start there. I don't know when. Probably. I'm probably going to use comedy to Tears or a Clown because I'm really liking how it's turning out so far, and so far, don't have a song on there under five minutes. Is it under five minutes? I don't know. It's long. They're all long, but it's a concept album, so it's it's it's meant to be listened to more like a film or more like a, you know, like a play or like a musical, you know, because I'm weird like that. I don't I don't ever want to do anything normal or popular yet unless somebody offers me a house, like— a real house where no doors will be slammed. NO DOORS WILL BE SLAMMED! What, am I gonna slam the door for myself? I'm mad— at myself. No, take your shoes off, quiet. Unless you're landing on the hellipad. Does my house have a helipad? No. No, I feel like unauthorized helicopters would land on it. I feel like they would. if you build it, they will come. I'm like ooh. It's very like few it's like, “who the fuck is in the helicopter?!” I don't know. Well, I mean, like there's a couple different ones now anyway, it's not I'm not telling that joke. It's awkward, but then then I don't know. I had for some reason, I guess maybe that was the reason. I left out one card from the uh the Truth or Dab game that I ended up with, the Hot Ones game that I have no friends to play with. I still have the fucking sauce in my fridge from the game. Like I don't think you have to refrigerate it, but I refrigerated it anyway because I'm like, ‘it's hot sauce. ' Like, it should be perishable, but then I guess anything with a certain amount of vinegar is just preserved it preserved, you know? Damn, what the fuck am I about to say for an hour? I have no idea. I'm really nervous. I'm giving this entire album away for free. Stupid. Well, what the fuck? If nobody's going to buy it, might as well just like, you know, get it out there and get it to the next thing. I don't I don't have much else to say. What am I reading? Oh, I finally found my copy of the Odyssey Sure did. I think I have two copies of it, though. I think I have like a paperback version. Apparently the last time somebody opened it was 1981. Ans so I fucking I opened it and the whole the whole coverage just fell off, but I was getting my kicks. I really like…that book. I like that one. What else am I reading? Other things? I decided to finally. I decided to finally try to go through all the books I checked out of the library, like over a year ago so that I can take them back, but again, these things keep being relevant, like I just use them for reference. I'm really bad at libraries . I'm terrible at them. Like we could say historically, but I don't know, I haven't had like an enough adult experience with libraries to no, I'm like on record. It's I'm really bad at libraries. Yeah. like, really bad. Like, sometimes I've lost books on my way to take them back to the library. Isn't that ironic? Anyway, what the fuck is going on now? I don't know . The street Fighter's edition of “we don't give a fuck.” I'm guessing. I heard like a a like audible car accident and then like more yelling and it made me worry that somebody might be hurt because at first I was laughing. It was like and not like I heard the plastic crunch and, like, the fiberglass and I was like,” oh boy, ha ha.” And then like somebody was like yelling from the street and I didn't know if it was in relation to that because there's always crackhead down there. and there's always somebody doing some fuck shit right—there, and I'm like, ‘okay, all right, well, hopefully nobody got hurt. unless they were one of the people sitting under the window, like waiting to rev their engine. Then I'm like, “that's on you. I told you I'm not the one that deals karma at something else.” I don't know. I think it was just two vehicles, like not doing well together. New York drivers are not great, though. They have a very very little patience. Like, all you have to do is slow down a little and somebody's like,aby,ep,ep, beep, beep. I'm like, “Yo, dude like calm the fuck down. Calm the fuck down. Like that's not helping anything. It's not helping anything.” I think people need to work out more, maybe because I had already done my hour on the Peloton and whatever those vibes were were just like they were like shwing, like bouncing off me. I only did a couple lifts. I don't know why you gotta scowl. I guess I'm a little upset, cause I'm just I'm like a nice person. That's why I'm upset because I'm like, oh, like how do you do? I went frumpy. It's not like I'm like bending over in front of your man. It's like, 'hello, how y'all doing?' Like, I'm not doing that. All I'm doing is lifting. And then I fucking left because my fucking Amazon order was like, okay, it's delivered. And it said it was delivered early. So I could have gotten a couple more lifts in, but I didn't. I did not get those last few lifts in. So waiting because it was like, ‘yo, your package is in the mail room' and I was like, 'okay, cool.' So I went over back to the mail room and there was nothing there. and I was like , fuck this. Like, now I'm like sweating bullets. I'm like, 'oh my God. like, what if whoever stole my pancakes also stole this Amazon hall' — and like, Amazon keeps track of shit like that. so like I've had packages stolen before and they knew that by my credit card number they were like, ‘ yo like haven't you had this issue before?' I was like “yeah, but like that's why I told the Amazon driver to come to the door,” but the Amazon driver is like, ”no I'm fucking late or whatever, I'm not gonna do that!” Sometimes they do. It really just depends on what the fuck is going on. Sometimes I leave it at the fucking wear wherever I'm gonna leave it outside if I can. I'm like damn god damn. Like when when I was in the workforce workforce— cause trust me, like what I'm doing right now sometimes feels like slave wages. I'm like bro, did I really do this for two years and get $15 dollars? That doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. No, that doesn't mean that doesn't that doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. It doesn't, right? does it? That's not a lot. No, it's not. I also don't have “billions of streams”. This saddens me. Oh, I got the lights to match. That's good. I didn't think they were gonna match. Anyway, what the fuck was I saying? I've been in —fucking— “billions of streams”. You need ten million for a hit. I get like I get giddy when I hit 200 streams for a song. I'm like, ‘wow. they really liked it.' and it makes me wonder how the fuck did I even get those? Tame Impala, according to YouTube. According to YouTube, people who like Tame Impala will , like, sit on my music a little bit longer than people just random coming in from any of my other places, but I haven't checked on my analytics in a while because… I wasn't dropping music eguch making me sad to watch my numbers just plummet and makes me sad anyway, and now I'm gonna know about the numbers. I'm like, ‘well, whatever' Here's chairs of clown comes out. I picked the date, but I'm not saying shit about it, cause I can still change my mind. I could still change my mind. I still might, I don't know. We'll see how it goes. We'll see how it goes with the next few tracks. It's almost finished. It's really oh— Uptown A has a new single. Oh. not not out yet. It will be by the time you hear this though. It's called what's it called? Suede. It's really good. I listened to it and I was like, 'I really like this song‘ which, like I said, it happens about one every ten songs. I'm like, ‘I really like this. I really like this.' Like technically those are the only songs that should be out are the songs that I listen to and I'm like I should I like this, but I don't I don't sit on my work long enough to do that anymore. I just don't because also I'll bury shit and forget that I even fucking made it. And then, it'll— and then I'll be like, “oh, it'll give me anxiety that I have it and I haven't done anything with it. And I have an attachment to most of my songs. Like, I won't just sell my beats, my beats are not cheap, though. Like, I almost was on beatstars—this website for be selling, but there was a couple things that made me not do it mostly, I guess they're trying to, I guess what they're trying to do is like sell their brand or whatever. So everybody that's already on the site was talking about how there's no—like, it's it's really hard to get circulated as an artist. Like you'll have beats on there for months and years at a time without selling any beats. And you have to be like, really aggressive about, um, like you like my it would like I'm already being really aggressive about my actual songs, so like to be that aggressive about my beats would not be like it would be like two different things. It felt like two different paths, so I didn't do it. But what was I just saying about that? Oh, my beats are not cheap. Like, I'm not gonna do 20 for 20. It would literally have to take me less than five minutes for me to sell beat that cheap. Like I would have to throw it together with like no technique whatsoever, just a bunch of loops, and then I'd be like, here's some which is what I was planning to do with some drill beats, because I know that they're just like drill beats are cheap, like period, because they don't I don't think they matter so much as long as it's got the bass and then, like, whatever that little dude is saying. It's always a little dude. It's always a little dude. It's likeah, ‘yeah. I uh,' I don't know, I love artists. I I'm starting to feel less like an artist, though, and more like a producer, or like, you know, like a creator of sorts. I'm borrowing, though. I'm not going to I'm not going to lie. Because, hell, man, he's such a dick sometimes. I was like, bro. be like something some artist, something, something, and Gee was like, “I'm not an artist, I'm a creator!” But that's I guess since it's so easy for anybody to just say like “I'm an artist” now, I don't know, I feel like that's the whole point of like the human experience is like, everybody has an art like, you know, it's just the thing that makes it difficult is that adding value to it has no, there's no right and there's no wrong and there's no good and there's there's bad. There's bad. There's a lot of art in the world that's just bad. It's not good, but like to the person that made it, like that's their shit. So like in that way their technically is no bad because to that at least one person in the world, the person who made it, it's good. So when it comes to art, there's technically no right and wrong. I'm not going to say there's no good and bad, because I like I said, I collect bad music. Like if it's if it's notoriously bad, I'll be like, yeah. like it's probably easier to get my attention if your music is bad, than if it's good. If it's good, I'm almost intimidated like as an artist. Like, I'll be like, oh, this is too good. It's probably gonna make myself esteem not great. if I spend too much time with it. That's true. I don't listen to really good artists anymore, because I'm like, oh, man. Like, I'll just sit there and shit on myself and be like, why, am I not at this level? And even when it comes down to it and it's like all about business and all about like, you know, your connections or like, you're you know, like it's about who you know. And like, look, sometimes it's about talent, but like less of the time than it should be. Like, sometimes it's just like, who your parents are and all this shit. So it's like, I shouldn't feel that way, but I had a lot of the time I can't help it. Like, I'll be sitting and listening to an artist that's like, you know, ”billions of streams!”. and I'm like, “fuck this.” I'm like, ‘I don't wanna hear this. cause I'm not there.' It's like, is, it if I have any kind of envy or jealousy in me, it's probably that. But then when it comes down to it's like, you gotta take the good with the bad. It's not all fucking pancakes, it is all pancakes. Most of this actually. whatever I cut. I'm looking forward to this smoothie. This would better be the best protein I ever had in my life for the price that I paid for, this is better be the fucking best smoothie I've ever had. Uh, we'll see. This is about to be smoothies and miso time. I'm trying to lose 50 pounds. i don't know what realm that is, but I think. I'm pretty sure that would require, like losing muscle, which is fine. I'm— I might be too strong. I went to the gym. I didn't need to. That dude, I swear to God he flipped me off. ‘Cause here's what happened, is, like, the Amazon package said it was delivered. I was like ”cool. all right.” So I left the gym. I was like, ‘bye.' I was like, ‘see ya.' And I, well, I was lifting. Did I make him feel like a bitch? Is that what it was? Because—because I was lifting and I was just whatever light work because I'm actually in a lot of pain. Like, I told myself that I was I was going to buy myself a gift because nobody buys me gifts on the one day that you should everybody should get a gift on this one day and nobody buys me gifts on this day. So I was like, ‘I'm going to buy myself a gift.‘ But as soon as I put money like, aside for that, I had this injury and I immediately just took money out of that fund for fucking ibuprofen and I was like, hey. Another year. Like that's that's my gift. I was like, So so I'm in a lot of pain, so I'm not doing it like regular I'm in my harem pants and I'm in pain. So I'm like not doing anything special. And I'm doing this, and this dude. I think I made him feel like a bitch. That's what that was, cause like, I don't know what they were doing, some YouTube thing where they were like flapping their arms around, like dinkus, DINKUS., that's what you look like. You look like a dinkus, anyway. I'm not paying attention to I'm not giving people negative attention until they're doing weird shit around me. Then I'm like, now I'm looking at you because you're mean mugging me. Don't do that. I don't with your face, dear, I don't recommend that. Don't don't scrunch up your face like that. No. Anyway, mm. aren't all people beautiful? No, not if you live in New York long enough. Eventually, everybody just scoe at each other to death. That's the whole place. I'm like, where are the happy people at? Fucking on a plane! I think for rich people, the quality of life here is different. I think that the luxury of living in New York is that they're like, ”I live in New York”, but they do that like, around the globe. That's what they do. They're like, yeah, I live in New York, but like they're hardly ever in New York. Or there's just a bunch in New York that I haven't seen while I've seen it when the sun hits it just right, it glistens. I'm like, ‘oh. that's a different place.' No, it's an optical illusion. Oh, it doesn't exist. I'm like, “okay, all right.” Try to find that shiny ass, what is that golden —[thingy] anyway? I'm like, “nah, no, it's a trap, “ because if you actually get to Manhattan on the street level, it's just like you can't see the buildings. Like you just at the bottom and you just shadows, even on the sunny days, just like you're in the cold shadows. That's what that place is. I haven't been over there in so long. Never in Manhattan. That place is scary. It's like a supercomputer. But— I guess performance wise in comparison to other like, major cities in the world is not great. I feel like it's pretty great. I feel like it's pretty great. But, you know, I haven't seen Tokyo or where where else was on that list? I don't know, I skipped around a lot. My ADD is unchecked. up. Anyway, I'm kind of annoying, I's okay. Somebody's gonna like it. Somebody, there's somebody for everybody. You see? I don't know why that pissed me off, because that's the second time I got a scowled at in the elevator by an ugly girl. I'm like, why the fuck are you ugly? Oh, cause you're scowling at me. I didn't even see that until you darted me those fucking little eyes. and then I was like “ugh. rude!” I like, I think it's the vibe. I think that's what that is. Cause like, I also notice when people smile at me and I'm like, ”oh, what a beautiful person,” or if somebody's just like resting, not even resting resting bitch face, just like resting face. Like if there's actually muscles in your body that are working towards being angry at me, I notice. I'm like, ”oh, yo, don't do that.” I don't know why that bothered me so much. Then her dude fucking leans over to fucking press the elevator button and he does it with his middle finger. Like, I like to think if it's like if the button and the finger are like like adjacent to your face, like, eye level and here comes the middle finger. You like, that dude was flipping me off, but I'm like, I don't know, I don't know why you would do that. I think I made him feel like a bitch in front of his mean girl. Why—why are you if you're in a couple, why is anybody in this situation mad? Like if you're in a loving, happy, like a healthy relationship, like you shouldn't even see the rest of the world around you, honestly. If you're two people in love, you don't notice like you don't see shit like that. Like the whole world just caves. like it just falls around like you don't notice when you're all fucking in love and all giggly and everything. She's like 'ha ha like, yes, we are together and nothing else really exists. ‘ Like that's I don't know why the fuck you guys are both mean mugging, like that seems like some self reflective. I don't know what the fuck you mad at. I just that a couple lifts. He like starts doing pushups I was like,get it. get it!” Because, I'm encouraging like that, but I'm not looking at him because honestly, eh. like. Like, she don't jump for much these days. Like, she really knows when she likes something, my dragon, or whatever. Like she really knows. She's like, ”yeah, yeah.” But for the most part, like, I don't know, I can tell in like a person's aura or like a vibe, like, if they have something for me, something for me, you know, like if something is— she's gonna notice, she's gonna like, oh, hey, but nothing here. So I don't know why I have the fuck you're looking at me like that, cause the way you're looking at me is pissing me off, and that's how contagious— that's how contagious negative energy could be. Luckily, I was already on the Peloton for an hour. I just finished a song that made me laugh a lot. It made me laugh a lot, and in the moment in the moment, what's fucked up is everybody was heckling this guy, but I think he might have actually been like a professional or he was just some crackhead. I don't think so. First of all, he got the most laughs. I'm listening back to this recording and I'm like, “yo, everybody's—” he made me laugh. I heard myself laugh on this recording. And then as I'm making this song, the number of different laughs from around the room that I'd like that were beautiful to me because I love the sound of laughter… So the difference this I'll— I'll talk more in depth about this album as it's finished and as it's coming out in the next few days. um I still have ‘All The Rage' to come out before that. What day is it coming out? The 10th? Yeah, the 10th. All The Rage is coming out on the 10th, but it has a single coming out on the the All The Rage has a single coming out on April 7th called Sweet Dreams, and then it'll be out three days later. It's pretty much like a hype up single. There's two singles out from that. Yeah, Hot Little Number is also on All The Rage. So Hot Little Number is coming out in the next couple days, because they just felt like there should be at least like one release in March. I did some releases in early March, but not much. Um, and then oh, the single for yeah, I'm only taking one single off of that, because they're so massive. All the songs on Tears of a Clown are like six, five, six, seven minutes. It's it's a true concept album. It's true to itself, and so that's it's cool because it's kind of like pushing me into the next batch of things and working on a I don't know if it's a remix or if it's just like a a dubstep song with heavy sampling cause I'm getting into more dub stuff. butit's crazy cause I got mad at myself because I was like, “oh, I really wanted to fucking I really wanted to finish this.” I don't wanna jinx it so I don't wanna talk about what it is. But I'll talk about it when it does get done. And now I'm understanding that like it's just being major focusshifted. Like, because I cared so much about it that I didn't want to just do it and then be like, that's it. Like, that's it. And it was gonna go on Tears of a Clown but then I was like, I can't because it samples a song that was actually I think it was like a fucking I think it was a hit-ish a TikTok. is it really a hit which it's just on TikTok? I think so, because of the audience on that TikTok has. I refuse. I refuse. I downloaded TikTok once during the pandemic and two things made me never ever go on TikTok again is that it only showed me what appeared to be underage girls doing things that I would slap the shit out of anybody I saw doing like you could be a grown ass woman if you did any of those things. I would hit you like, I—well—no. I'm learning about this. I'm like, ‘oh.' I'm learning about people who make you want to hit them, but you can't. That's things like that's as I think it's a coming of age. I've never had this experience before where it's like, oh, like, you're doing everything in the world to make me want to hurt you. but I can't. Like I have to exercise restraint. That's a fucked up feeling. It's like being penned down. I'm like, oh, like like that's like you can't like you can't do anything about it. You can't do anything about it. What are you gonna do about it?? I don't know, boss up. That's the only thing I can do. I'm like, well, that's that, but oh, it makes me wonder, what makes me kind of understand to a certain extent, like, bro, like, is this what it's like to have a girlfriend? She's gonna make me mad. She's gonna well, I'm I'm not that kind of guy. And I swear to that I'm not. I swear I'd probably be that kind of lesbian, though. like bitch, I will hit you. We are the same gender. like, we could duke it out. We could dupe this out! I'm kidding. I'm not violet. I swear to God, I'm not. But sometimes like I guess it's an episode about about energy, negative energy. It's like I work out enough that like it should just roll off today this. But it wasn't like violent. It was just like, “ooh. girl. You better stop flapping those arms and get you a Peloton. I don't know what the fuck you're looking at me like that for!” I swear, because the anger the anger set into my body.'s like, bro, I just don't like looking at shit that don't look good. I'm an aesthetic person, so like, that's why I don't jog in my neighborhood, cause for the most part, like, I'm gonna take in too much negative, like the negative is gonna outweigh the positive. Like, I can run in circles around whatever my radius around this bitch. but if I see too much trash on the ground, it just depresses me. Like it just makes me upset. and so it like undoes the good that I'm doing by running unless I'm sprinting, but I can't do too much of that. I can't do too much of that. I sprinted almost two miles yesterday I almost top speed, and then those my motorcycle stalkers started stalking me, and so I st like I—I like ran out of steam. I was like, you know I was like, I was like, ugh. There they are. Like, that's weird. How can something like that happen? Anyway. I was like, nah, I'm just gonna fucking jog the rest of this little the rest of this the this last mile or whatever. I'm just gonna jog it, but I sprinted most of that, but then when I got back, I was like, why the fuck am I out of energy? Bitch, because you hit like 11 miles at least. I'm pretty sure what my top speed is like between 11 and 12. if I just spread it, but then that's slow. In comparison to some. That's what I'm saying. pretty sure I wrote like a rhyme recently. I'm I'm not writing so much as organizing, try to anyway. I'm doing a lot at once. What else happened? I don't know. I'm not scowling, your boyfriend's not that cute. I wasn't even looking until you made that face, and I'm like, wh are you trying to defend something here? Is it worth defending? Oh, but the first girl that scowled me, her boyfriend is cute. She needs to do that more, but she needs to be with him, when she does that, like, “girl, you better wash your man's!” .And he has a accent. I don't know where the fuck he's from, cause half of the shit he said was not. I was like, what? what? He is cute. I didn't notice that when she was scowling at me, and that's probably why she I was like, “what is that face? “ Girl? And then I didn't know that was him, cause he went into their apartment. Don't worry, I'm not that kind of girl. like, that's yours. I guess keep making that face. Keep making that face. Do that. Do that. He's cute. I think she'd be cute too, if she wasn't doing that. So, you know, whatever. They' they're probably— and $4 got her flowers! Aw. Aw, and then he said something, oh, cause he thought, and so he doesn't think un is, don't worry. Don't worry, he doesn't. He thought I was delivering Amazon packages because I picked up my Amazon packages. I was picking up my packages and he was like, “oh, you don't need a key for the elevator.“ And I was like, not trying to explain. Like, "No, I live here, I know that. Like” so I was like, okay. And at first I thought he might be like this sounds bad. At first I thought he was deaf, cause whatever he said sounded like a whole, like a whole rolling mumble, and I was like, okay, and I was still listening to my fucking music. And then he kept talking. and so I was like, oh, I have to —and I wasn't even looking at him until I like turned off my music. And then I was I was like, damn. who the fuck is this? And then I was like, oh, like I saw that he lives on the same floor as me. and I was like, ”oh, “ like the elevators and the the the buttons and the elevator are different on both sides. So it depends on which elevator you get where the button is and I press the wrong button, and so he thought I was delivering Amazon package. I was like, no, I'll live here. like like I live here.We live on the same floor, you actually pressed the button already”, and then he said something back and I was like, 'oh, oh, he's he's just from somewhere else. He's not American.' i usually only like American dudes. I like dudes sometimes, not not all the time. I like dudes, sometimes. I like men all the time. That's all around the clock thing that I like. I like them more, increasingly, and the more like stable I get my singularity. I really like them because they can do all the fuck they like all the fuck shit they do is entertaining because they're not doing it to me. I'm like, “okay. I see. like that.” Yeah. I'd be A real, real real, real broad dyke. I'm not gonna lie. I don't like females. I'm not anti feminist. I just for the most part, like get impatient, cause I'm like, what can you do for me? Nothing. Nothing, exactly. I like a friend or something. No, females are never friends with each other. Let's just get that clear. I think I've just figured this out. I just figured this out, like, we'll pretend to be in each other's best interests…. Usually, I mean it. Because I'm not all the way I'm not 100% female. I am very nonbinary in the way they're like I genuinely, genuinely care—typically— if I if I care. if I let myself care, then I genuinely care. But I don't not have the same experience with other females and so I'm just learning this though. Like I'm just learning other females in the competitive sense as I'm learning males. I'm like, “oh, like, I get it. Like if you sense any superiority in me whatsoever, like, you're like, I become your enemy, like, I become your target and you're trying to kill me!” I'm like, ‘that sucks.' To me, like, but if I sense any inferiority in you whatsoever, you're like a nonfactor. Like, I don't— I'm not trying to kill you. I don't care what happens to you. I already won. Let's just all be this way. Just have a oh, oh, that was that thing that I heard. The one thing that I heard. I was like, and it clicked in my brain a certain way. It was that ‘insecurity makes people act crazy.' And I don't know why, but like it clicked with me in a certain way because typically I don't have to bring my insecurities out front or if I do, it works for me in a way that like— it works for me, because if I point if I point like I guess that's the comic or comedian in me. If I point out my indiscretions or my flaws, then it works for me because typically, the person that does sense that inferiority in some kind of way, they get kind of like, it if inflates their ego. It puffs them up and makes them feel like, oh, like, you know, like or, you know, OR— it makes them what's it called, like sympathize with you if they have like some of the same insecurities and it puts you on the same level of equality where it like humanizes you are humanizes them and then you and then you have like, a connection. I'm I'm just you know, I'm just figuring out like human connection in the way that, like, makes sense. So, I'm not I I'm not gonna pretend to know everything because I wouldn't want to. I wouldn't want to. and I with the understanding that, like, on a conscious level, like I well, I mean, like certain certain factors certain factors would indicate that yes, on a conscious level, I do and am, and know everything, but, like to be aware of it at all times would literally be insanity. I wouldn't want to be like allie was like that a lot of the time and I was like,bro, you need to get off God because I well, God is where he went. He was like,I'm just gonna die.” I was like “cool. fuck you, dude. Fuck you.” Like he was like, I'm just gonna die. *Explode! * i was like, all right, ‘whatever. Whatever dog.' I was still a little bit. I am I still grieving? I'm still grieving? I'm thinking I'm like in the acceptance part. where it's like,‘ oh, you're you're right. Like you're you're right about a lot of things and like your freedom is that you're hopefully. Well, see, he might have had some other shit to do. He might have had other shit to do, so I just I kind of have this thing where it's like he still actually like he's in another realm figuring out. figuring out things. Figuring out things. That's what you do when you die, and you haven't done everything yet. I know that much, but I know that the less I know, the better, ha, Tame Impala and also like, he's just a five. And again, uh, I don't I don't the whole music industry is herpes, like, don't touch me, don't well, Tame Impala can do better. So, so, I don't worry about things like that. I don't to worry about things like that, but the whole music industry, Herpes. I don't I don't think it would be hard to be with another musician. Like, really? I like pretty dudes. I like pretty guys, and I like pretty men. Pretty boys, though. I'm like,' oh, youes gots to learnings to do.” You gots to fuck around for like 50 more years. And then maybe we can have like a tea. In 50 years?! yeah, yeah. was you know, then what are we gonna do? There's none of like all the dumb shits out the way. All the dumb shit and all those dumb girls. all the girls like get the girls out of the way and then like a few of the women, like a lot of the women, like, get all the dumb shit out the way. And then talk to me. or don't. In fact, in fact, that's how I wanted to go. My next actual thing with like a person of the opposite gender should be—seriously wordless. like, it shouldn't have to have like, I don't have to explain myself to you. if I have to do that, I'm already doing too much work. I would I think I just might be a single forever. It's cool. I'm like “yay, I got over it.” And now I well, how am I gonna— I'm like I devising a plan, “how to hold babies without being weird.” Like, I—I want to do that. I don't necessarily want to take it all the way. Like, I don't wanna be I don't wanna be a midwife or a dula. don't wanna be like a baby— I don't want to be anything in the medical field because gross. Gross, gross. I thought I was gonna be at EMT for a while, because they're like, “oh, no, no, you're too old to be a firefighter!” That's okay. after living this long in New York, I'm like, running into a burning building would probably be like at the top of my priorities, if that were my job. You don't don't talk to me on the wrong day. I will try and fail to save everybody in this burning building. That's I'm you know, that's where I'm at. so it's probably good that I missed the cut off for being an actual firefighter. But then, oh, I signed up to be an EMT and they were like, oh, it's a year and a half wait, but then once you get into the program, the way that it works is that like you ‘technically, like word training you on a loan. So like everything that you make in the first, however many years, you actually owe back to us and you can't quit.' And I was like, that's kind of that's okay, because it's like job security. But then ey, I met an EMT that was taking the same bus as I was and I was like bro like that doesn't make sense. Like, you have a you have a full-time job and we're on the same bus, that's no. No, like you should be able to afford the next level of transportation hug. That's that's wrong, that's a hard job. ‘You should get paid more,' but then I was like, it's okay.' What was the second thing? Oh, I went to the ER. My first trip to the ER in New York was like was like the trip that I would never take to the ER in a third world country. I like I thought about it in Mexico a couple times. I was like, ‘bro, if it came down to it.' Because I saw like a building that I didn't know was like a functional building. I thought it was like a shell of a building, but then there was like a there was like a flickering sign on the front of the building that was like, you know, this is a hospital, this is the ER. And I was like, “no, it's not.” And I was like “this is like a shut down hospital, right?” But then there was like somebody at the entrance and I was like, 'okay.' And then I thought to myself 'like, okay, if I had to go to this fucking hospital or like just duke it out with whatever the fuck is happening, like what would be my choice?' And I was like, ‘I would probably just like take it.' I'd probably just take it. I'm not gonna lie, you know? like that. But the end, well I had to go, I had to go and honestly, New York ER is not super different, not you like not not anything like the ERs on the West Coast. is not the safest place. No. No, I did not want to be there. And then when I'd witnessed what an EMT does in a New York City, like ER, I was like, oh. I am— uh what's it called? [withdrawing] I'm taking out my applications. Oh, that was hardcore. What was it like a gunshot? It was something I think it was. I think that was a couple gunshot wounds in there. I was like, you know, 'no, this is what they do. This is what they do all the time.' Ive just I've reached a level of I can't do that with a lot of professions. Like, don't get me wrong. I'm not unwilling to work. It's just like I can't. Like my heart can't take it. Like it cannot. I've, you know, I've been around. I'm no spring chicken. I've already had some grief. grief. Like I don't think I can do that. So hat's off to the people in the blue, whatever. “all lives matter.” This is true. But, you know, I'm not picking those sides. Anyway, it is true. Everybody. Everybody makes sense in a certain way, right? Okay, I'm just trying to take up this last minute. What the fuck was this episode for? That was a fast hour. I'm surprised by myself. Don't scowl if you're ugly. Like, don't be ugly and scowl. I don't I don't know which thing happened first. I don't know if she was already ugly, so she's scowling. or if the scowling just, like changed everything. I've said this before, I'll say it again, like you can be —you can look, however, but as a person who like sees sings speaks vibrations, like if your whole shit's fucked up. like, that's what I see. So it will be the prettiest girl, boy, man, trans. You could be the prettiest cat. You would be a cat. I'm— I'm not— look, you know, I'm not into beastiality; pansexuality. sure, you know? I've had crushes on trees. Me and my Peloton have a thing going, but I spend a lot of time sitting on it. [MENACING IMMORTAL LAUGHER] a.k.a “mwahaha' Sorry. Okay, I was about to— That's enough, right? Yeah, that was so— —Somebody help that fucking bitch. they lady, man! that lady in her fucking dragon I don't know what the fuck is gonna happen. Like, don't worry, it is a very small percentage of people in the whole population that she's actually gonna try to actually hunt down and murder. You know, gently. death by snusnu. as possible as most of these dudes don't have, you know, like, I'll kill you. Don't scowl at me, and like, I will literally kill your boyfriend. Like, doll like by choice, though, I wouldn't kill him. So don't worry, you can take that face off now. Jesus Christ all day anyway. All day and all night, okay? Have a good day or night or whenever the fuck you're listening to this. Thank you for listening. More stuff soon, because we'll see what happens with the like, you know, with the website and whatever. I am you dot guru. That's what it is for the foreseeable future. That's what that is. I i A-M-U DOT GURU I gotta work on this website. It's gotta be it's like I can't overhype it. I can't do all this spelling out and promoting my own website if it's not gonna be like the most spectacular—smoothie that I've ever had, which is happening right now. Amen. {Enter The Multiverse} The Complex Collective © [The Festival Project ™ ] -Ū.

Almost America's national bird. That's where this one starts, and it spirals in all the right ways. This episode dives into what makes turkey hunting such a perfect gateway for young hunters. Between barn cats stalking the blind, 4-year-olds dropping longbeards, and kids forming camp friendships over early-morning hunts, it's clear turkey season is less about trophies and more about tradition. We talk about the awkward magic of dads trying not to be embarrassing, the joy of youth tags turning into lifelong memories, and the totally underrated beauty of a quiet spring morning in the blind with your kids. If you've ever questioned the value of turkey season, this one might just change your mind. Also: ticks, toy guns, shed hunting detours, and the underrated brilliance of the Tick Tornado. Just press play. Presented by: Nosler, use code OHP for 20% off at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Before John Kitzhaber became Oregon governor for the first time, he practiced emergency medicine as an ER doctor. He brought that knowledge of the health care system to bear in the late 80s and early 90s, with the enacting of the Oregon Health Plan, the state’s Medicaid program. In 2012, he oversaw the expansion of the program and the creation of Coordinated Care Organizations. Today, about 1.4 million Oregonians get their health care from OHP.  Kitzhaber says Oregon’s unique model delivers high quality but efficient care to more Oregonians - and that could be a national model as Congressional Republicans look to make federal spending cuts widely expected to affect Medicaid. The former governor is among those advising Republican Rep. Cliff Bentz, who told “Think Out Loud” Feb. 26 he wants to “make the system still deliver the type of benefits that people need, while at the same time doing it better and in a way that saves money.” Kitzhaber joins us to tell us more about his ideas for bipartisan solutions to prevent people from losing Medicaid coverage.

In this episode, we hear from Troopers Austin Brown and Keyton Davis. They have recently become OHP's full-time recruiters. We talk about the new division, why it's important, and what OHP is looking for in cadets. If you've ever wondered what it takes to become a trooper, take a listen! 

In Episode 82 we kick off our bonus mini-series: EAOHP Spotlight, sponsored by a small grant from the European Academy of Occupational Health Psychology. We are joined by the President of EAOHP, Dr. Stavroula Leka. We talk about EAOHP as an organization, OHP more broadly as a field, and the intersection of OHP research and public policy.You can find Dr. Leka here, and you can find more about EAOHP here.https://www.lancaster.ac.uk/lums/people/stavroula-lekahttps://eaohp.org/ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit healthywork.substack.com

This episode was a whirlwind of hunting stories, gear talk, and camaraderie. From navigating icy marshes and late-season challenges to reflecting on the ethics of public land hunting, the crew shared insights and laughs throughout. Key takeaways included: Late-Season Hunting: Ice can shut down marsh access, pushing deer to higher ground or neighboring properties. Public Land Etiquette: Navigating territorial conflicts with respect and humor while keeping perspective on the shared nature of public resources. Gear Essentials: A deep dive into layering systems, including the merits of merino wool, fleece, and creative cold-weather setups to stay warm without overheating. Daily Deer Series: A new project offering quick, thoughtful takes on whitetail hunting to inspire and engage hunters year-round. Sprinkled with humor, memorable anecdotes, and some good-natured shenanigans, this episode captures the essence of what it means to hunt, help others, and keep learning. Don't miss the the new Daily Deer project for a fresh way to fuel your hunting obsession. Presented by Nosler -- Use code OHP for 20% OFF. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join host Sarah Stewart and PIO Trooper Preston Cox as they speak with two of the cadets from the OHP 73rd Lateral Academy. The academy graduated just before Christmas 2024 and we spoke with the cadets about a month before graduation. All lateral academy cadets were already in law enforcement before joining OHP. Hear why they wanted to become Oklahoma Highway Patrol troopers.

In Episode 78, we talk about the Occupational Health and Safety Administration's recent proposed regulations on Heat Stress. We chat about what is heat stress, who is susceptible, how do we prevent it, and where is all the OHP research on heat stress? We recommend that listeners who are able respond to the call for public comment for OSHA to share your expertise, address their specific questions, and support these regulations. To aid in this, you can find a copy of what Keaton submitted on our Healthy Work Substack. The deadline for these comments is December 30, 2024.OSHA's regulation: https://www.federalregister.gov/documents/2024/08/30/2024-14824/heat-injury-and-illness-prevention-in-outdoor-and-indoor-work-settingsSubmit a Comment: https://www.regulations.gov/commenton/OSHA-2021-0009-4761OSHA's specific questions they want addressed in comments (though you can say anything): https://www.osha.gov/sites/default/files/Heat-NPRM-Compilation-of-Requests-for-Comment.pdfKeaton's submitted comment: https://open.substack.com/pub/healthywork/p/heat-stress-comment-for-osha?r=zewfu&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit healthywork.substack.com

Deer camp vibes are in full swing! We're chatting coyotes, chili, and classic deer camp camaraderie. Friends of Eric's take the mic in place of Greg and Derek as the crew dives into everything from quick gear grabs to KwikTrip runs, sharing laughs and stories about public land struggles, predator encounters, and the timeless "scent control vs. luck" debate. With callers weighing in from South Carolina to the Nicolet National Forest, the hunting spectrum is as broad as the variety of firearms—30.30s, 300 Blackouts, and even a muzzleloader's and the 6.5 Creedmoor. Meanwhile, we honor the unspoken camp traditions, from splitting venison with the crew to arguing over who's packed and who's procrastinating. Good luck out there, hunters. Remember: it's your tag; hunt how you want. Presented by Nosler -- Use code: OHP for 20% OFF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Under a waiver program, states can test new ways to offer Medicaid services.  For Oregon, that means some people on the Oregon Health Plan can get help with housing costs. Oregon is the first in the nation to roll out rental assistance as a statewide Medicaid benefit for eligible OHP members, according to the Oregon Health Authority.  People would need to have a qualifying risk factor to be eligible for the aid, which could include rental assistance for up to six months and help paying utility bills.  Steph Jarem is the 1115 waiver policy director for OHA. Andrea Bell is the Executive Director of Oregon Housing and Community Services. They join us with details of the program and what it means for Oregonians. 

The Okayest Hunter Podcast kicks off with Greg's return, bringing plenty of classic OHP banter. The crew dives into early-season hunting updates as Greg shares his recent bowhunting experiences, including a few close encounters but no shots fired. They strategize around an incoming cold front and juggle hunting plans with family commitments. The conversation heats up with gear talk, featuring Muck Boots' new Alpha Pursuit ankle boot, and they explore its benefits for Midwest hunting. The highlight of the show is guest Jody Marler, a homebuilder and media pro from Montana, who's taking a nostalgic trip back to Illinois for some whitetail action. The group trades stories on deer camps, the evolution of hunting gear, and keeping things authentic in the outdoor world. Perfect for anyone who loves swapping hunting strategies and hearing down-to-earth stories from the field. Check out the new Muck Alpha Pursuit Ankle Boot: https://www.kqzyfj.com/click-101146695-15887989 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode supplements information shared in the past two editions of the GrowerTalks Biosolutions Guide that was released in June 2023 and 2024—a popular grower tool intended to help professional growers stay up to date on the latest research into biosolutions, as well as trialed and tested products and strategies.   Many greenhouse owners, growers and IPM managers are moving down the path of softer, more sustainable pest and disease control tactics but continue to use traditional or synthetic chemicals, as well as bio-based products and beneficials or biological control agents. It is this conjunctive approach and the compatibility knowledge required that provides the basis for host Bill Calkins to talk to this episode's special guest.   Dr. Carlos Bográn wrote two well received articles for our first Biosolutions Guide—Using Bioinsecticides in your Greenhouse and Using Bioinsecticides in Conjunction with Biocontrol Agents—and now he joins the podcast to dig much deeper into these topics. Carlos and Bill also discuss high-tech new research findings, different ways to approach pest population management, how the economics of biosolutions has evolved, the current state of the market and new, cutting-edge products becoming available.   Resources:   GrowerTalks Biosolutions Guide—1st Edition: https://www.growertalks.com/pdf/Biosolutions_Guide_2023.pdf   GrowerTalks Biosolutions Guide—2nd Edition: https://www.growertalks.com/pdf/BioSolutions_Guide_0624.pdf   OHP, Inc.: https://www.ohp.com/ OHP Regional Technical Sales Managers: https://www.ohp.com/Company/sales_regions.php OHP Literature & Recipes for Success: https://www.ohp.com/Literature/   OHP Chemical Class Chart: https://www.ohp.com/Literature/pdf/OHP_Chemical_Class_Chart.pdf   OHP Product Guide: https://www.ohp.com/Literature/pdf/OHP_Chemical_Class_Chart.pdf

This week, Scot, from Feathers and Antlers Outdoors, joins the OHP crew for a laid-back chat about his archery shop in Commerce, Georgia. For the past nine years, Scot and his family have been running the shop, offering a wide range of bows, arrows, broadheads, and outdoor gear. The shop's all about making sure customers feel welcome and have plenty of space to browse without feeling cramped. The conversation is full of laughs as Scot and the hosts dive into what it's like running an archery business, the latest trends in gear, and some of the quirks of the industry. Scot's especially proud of the fact that they've shipped custom arrow builds to all 50 states, proving just how far their reputation has spread. They also touch on the importance of supporting local businesses and give a nod to Fred Bear, one of the original legends of archery and a true pioneer in outdoor content creation. https://www.feathersandantlersoutdoors.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

OHP is still the health insurer for four out of five people who were insured during the pandemic, according to a study out of Georgetown University.

Carrying your bow does suck; that's why Armando Martinez invented the Bow Hitch, so you don't have to hold on to your bor during 3D archery shoots, western hunts, or whitetail hunts - even when you're in a saddle or tree stand! Presented by: www.half-rack.com - Use code: OHP for 15% OFF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Eric and Greg chatted with Nic De Castro, CEO and founder of LandTrust, an Airbnb-type platform aimed at outdoor recreation and hunting. Many of these platforms have come and gone within the hunting industry, but LandTrust has stood the test of time to date and continues to add features hunters, anglers, and outdoorsmen can use to find more ways to do what they love outdoors. Check out LandTrust to see all they have to offer here: https://landtrust.com/ Presented by www.half-rack.com. Use code OHP for 15% OFF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we take to the phone lines to hear stories from hunters across the US about weird stuff they've come across in the deer woods. Presented by www.half-rack.com Use code: OHP for 15% OFF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Derek and Eric hop on this week's episode to talk about building out a new bow or tuning your existing setup with new arrows and components during the off-season to build comfortability and confidence at full draw. Presented by www.half-rack.com use code: OHP for 15% OFF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We go deep on the deer camp vibes in this week's episode. Our guests, Erik Tasker and Vince Markwiese had a hunting season full of trials and tribulations that ought to speak to all of us as hunters insofar as valuing the time outdoors that we have since nothing is guaranteed. Presented by, www.half-rack.com - use code: OHP for 15% OFF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some hunter's need for attention or need to feed their ego can drive them to do unethical or immoral things in the deer woods, all in the name of vanity to get that trophy buck. Of course, it only takes a few bad eggs to ruin it for the bunch, and most hunters, by and large, are good, moral, and ethical in nature. This week we chat about some of the negative things that have surfaced within the hunting community over the last few weeks. From not-so-great depictions of what can go wrong during a hunt to potential patching and sketchy decisions, the guys flesh it out and take a few calls to hear what the hunting community says about it. Presented by www.half-rack.com - use code, OHP for 15% OFF at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The final Okayest Hunter podcast of 2023 is in the books! See y'all in 2024 with more shenanigans! Enjoy our last episode of the year as we head into the holidays. We chatted about muzzleloaders and late season hunting and heard some great stories from new and returning callers. Presented by www.half-rack.com; use code OHP for 15% off! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey folks! Tl; dr: Oh Happy Plants will have sales in January and (probably) March. I've decided to skip the sale this month so you can focus your energy on holidays. If you want OHP products for a gift, ask for a gift card! Then use it on the January sale to get that discount ❤️ This episode is a little bit about plants, with lots of updates and ranting about how I want everyone to own a small business if they want that. And also: I love you. Huge gratitude for supporting me through the hardest year of my life ❤️

Take the long way home on this long episode this week as we talk about all the missed opportunities, the ones that got away, and how humbling deer hunting can be. We also hear some great stories from our listeners, especially our first caller!! Then we get into some controversy around CWD and hear from callers about their thoughts on it and what we, as hunters, can do to positively contribute to the issue and the narrative around the issue. Presented by www.half-rack.com - use code: OHP for 15% OFF. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Load up your muzzleloader. It's that time of the season after rifle season when some hunters dig deep to grind out what's left after the blaze orange army has gone through the deer woods with boom sticks. Presented by: www.half-rack.com Use code: OHP for 15% OFF at checkout! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The sentiment of hunting is something that can trump all thing things in the deer woods. Tyler, the Co-Founder of the Okayest Hunter talks about the sentimental value of his 2023 bowhunt and it's essential to consider just how important hunting can be for the soul. We also take calls from the other hunters around the US and hear from each of the Okayest Hunter crew members about how their season is going so far. Brought to you by www.half-rack.com. Use code: OHP for 15% OFF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is our time! The rut is here! This week, we talk scrapes, rubs, buck sign, and rut activity, and we take calls from listeners around the US to hear how the rut is going in their area. If you love bowhunting and can't get enough of the rut, tune in this week in between hunts and get your fix. Presented by www.half-rack.com use code: OHP for 15% OFF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is the October lull really a thing? Who knows!? Derek shares some of his un-lull-like hunting activity. Eric has a general lull from hunting, and Greg has a lull of success when attempting putting down some does. Everyone's version of the October lull might be different. We took this opportunity in the so-called lull to chat with the folks from Code of Silence and learn about how their unique camouflage can enable bow hunters, and more specifically Okayest Hunters like ourselves, to capitalize on opportunities when our time is valued at a high level, especially during lulls. Presented by www.half-rack.com - use code OHP at checkout to save 15% off your order! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In April 2023, both the ACOG and SMFM released their clinical updates regarding the use of progesterone for preterm birth prevention. While 17-OHP is gone, vaginal progesterone remains an option in the appropriate patient, with some slight differences between the opinions from ACOG and SMFM. A new expert commentary from October 2023 in the AJOG -MFM is calling for a reappraisal of those opinions. Is vaginal progesterone for PTB prevention coming back to treat ALL patients with a history of PTB, not just those with a short cervix? That depends on how you look at the data. And, where does cerclage fit in? Listen in for all this...and more.

This week, the fellas chat with Shawn Jordan, a fellow hunting podcaster who hosts the Adaptive Outdoors podcast, a podcast dedicated to inspiring hunters, anglers, and trappers to get outdoors and pursue what they love, all while navigating various disabilities. Brought to you by www.half-rack.com. Use code OHP for 15% off! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bill Thompson, Founder of Spartan Forge, joins the show to cover the genesis of Spartan Forge's AI and mapping technology from inception to the present day. From there, Eric and Bill walk through the specific features of Spartan Forge and break down how Bill would use his app as a hunter and product owner when approaching a new plot of hunting land. There are things you will pick up and learn to use the Spartan Forge app in ways you may not have considered that can significantly impact your future deer hunting endeavors. Presented by www.half-rack.com - Use code: OHP for 15% OFF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week's question from members of our Discord: Keo asked, “What program would you recommend for increasing the OHP from 1.5 plates to 2? I've been stuck for over 2 years now.” Have a question for one of our Friday “One Good Question” episodes? Hit us up on social media and use the hashtag #onegoodquestion.Join our Discord for free at goodcompanydiscord.com!Check out our gym (Third Street Barbell) at ThirdStreetBarbell.com https://www.thirdstreetbarbell.com/ and subscribe for updates about our apparel line at goodcompanyapparel.com https://3sb.co/! Local memberships and international fresh fits! Get early access to our NEXT DROP!Check out our podcast website: 50percentfacts.com https://www.50percentfacts.com/50% Facts is a Spreaker Prime podcast on OCN – the Obscure Celebrity Network.Hosted by Mike Farr (@silentmikke) https://www.instagram.com/silentmikke/ and Jim McDonald (@thejimmcd). https://www.instagram.com/thejimmcd/ Produced by Jim McDonald Production assistance by Sam McDonald and Sebastian Brambila. Theme by Aaron Moore. Branding by Joseph Manzo (@jmanzo523)This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5538735/advertisement

Hanging out this week with Corre Smith, a waterfowl guide out in PA. Corre spends at least three hours daily scouting for his guide business. When you spend that much time in the woods, you learn a thing or two about nature and how to hunt effectively. You always greatly appreciate the wild places you spend your time. Corre shares how he got started as a guide, some stories he's helped to create and foster, and shoots the breeze with us, Okayest Hunter style, on this week's episode! Presented by www.half-rack.com. Use code OHP for 15% OFF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's been a long time since we've had the opportunity to sit down with Kevin Vistisen with the Deer Hunter podcast to shoot the breeze about all things deer hunting, but we finally made it happen. This is a great, all-encompassing episode for deer hunting and deer hunting culture. Check out our presenting partner, Half Rack®️ at www.half-rack.com and use code OHP for 15% at check out! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we go over what Foam Fest is, where it is, and when it is (Auguest 26th). Then we open up the phone lines to hear just how excited everyone is about the upcoming, fast-approaching whitetail hunting season AKA, "Whitetail Honey"

Important discussions about building a meaningful brand in the hunting space, growth in business and life, family, and of course hunting and shenanigans! Presented by: Half-Rack - https://half-rack.com/ use code: OHP at checkout for savings!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guest Elizabeth Brownell, AKA Rookie Hunting, on social media shares her journey going from a plant-based diet of being a vegan to becoming an adult onset hunter. Derek and Eric have a great dialog with Elizabeth about transcending an old identity and embracing a new lifestyle as a woman who decided she wanted to source her own meat. The Okayest Hunter podcast is now one of many on the Okayest Podcast Network, and Elizabeth is the host of the newest podcast to launch on the OPN, The Onset Podcast! We're happy to have Elizabeth on our growing network of podcasts - she's got a great outlook towards the hunting community. We're happy to have her among our ranks within the hunting community and a part of our outdoor podcast network! We're presented by www.Half-Rack.com - use discount code OHP at checkout for savings on all your hunting accessories! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is working out with machines enough or do you need free weights?  How do you deal with accumulated fatigue? Is the war on seed oil justified?  What's the best espresso machine for your morning kickstart? These are just a handful of the questions I'm answering in this Q&A episode. As always, these questions come directly from my Instagram followers, who take advantage of my weekly Q&As in my stories. If you have a burning question, follow me on Instagram (@muscleforlifefitness) and keep an eye out for these Q&A opportunities. Your question might just make it into a podcast episode! If you like this type of episode, let me know. Send me an email (mike@muscleforlife.com) or direct message me on Instagram. And if you don't like it, let me know that too or how you think it could be better. Timestamps: 0:00 - Please leave a review of the show wherever you listen to podcasts and make sure to subscribe! 1:18 - Is working out using only machines enough? 3:02 - When is Legion going to offer an amino supplement? 3:59 - Caught a cold on my de-load week how long should I rest? 5:04 - I'm trying to quit my work email addiction any tips? 5:16 - Thoughts on the recent study with cadmium and lead in dark chocolate? 6:42 - Are you planning on writing beyond thinner leaner stronger? 8:01 - What's the deal with oats? 8:39 - Lunges or leg press? 9:19 - When should you incorporate joint supplements? 10:17 - Is there any evidence that eating large meals before bed is bad? 12:46 - AD 14:13 - Do you still advocate working fasted lifting and cardio for stubborn fat? 16:39 - Client wants to go into surplus but doesn't want to go to the gym, they only have 8'lb dumbbells what now? 17:55 - Is there an espresso machine you recommend? 19:16 - What is a topic in fitness that you use to believe very strongly on but not anymore? 28:13 - How do you feel about the decline bench press? 28:48 - Why go with a wider grip with OHP than the traditional narrower grip? 29:44 - The war on seed oil continues are you avoiding it? If so what are you replacing it with? 30:58 - How do you deal with accumulated fatigue? Mentioned on the Show: Find the Perfect Strength Training Program for You in Just 60 Seconds: http://www.muscleforlife.show/trainingquiz