Advancing Women Podcast

This episode is for the ambitious woman who's doing it all—and still feels like it's never enough. If you're listening while multitasking—folding laundry, answering emails, or in between Zoom calls—this one's for you. Dr. KimberlyDeSimone invites you to press pause on the pressure and unpack why we've lost the ability to truly rest. With research, real talk, and radical empathy, this episode explores: The blurred boundaries of remote work and why they're burning us out The myth of “productive breaks” and the science behind contaminated leisure The invisible labor women carry—and why it's so exhausting How rest can be resistance, recovery, and a reclaiming of your humanity A gentle, 3-step invitation to begin unlearning productivity as self-worth If you've ever felt guilty for resting, this episode offers both validation and a vision for a more sustainable model of success.

Are Your Expectations Really the Problem — or Is That Just What You've Been Told? Research shows that expectations can be a major source of stress, anxiety, and even the breakdown of trust and respect in our relationships. But let's challenge the tired narrative that women's so-called “too high expectations” are to blame. In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I flip the script. We take a closer look at the real issue: the difference between expectations (often shaped by social norms and limiting stereotypes) and requirements or standards (which are rooted in self-respect, self-worth, and self-care). The real question isn't, “Are my expectations too high?” It's: “What do I truly require in my relationships—and why?” Spoiler alert: You are allowed—encouraged, even—to set clear, healthy standards for how you want and deserve to be treated. This episode is your permission slip to stop shrinking, stop second-guessing, and start owning your requirements unapologetically. Tune in for a powerful mindset shift—from bending to meet others' comfort zones to boldly honoring your own. Let's stop blaming women for wanting more, and start asking why we've been taught to settle for less. Referenced Episodes: Young Men are Opting Out of Marriage and Relationships. Should We Care? (March 2023)  Comparison is the Thief of Joy (May 2023) For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast  https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/  https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/  https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

In this powerful and timely episode, we explore how feedback—especially public feedback—can have vastly different impacts depending on gender, and why the principle “praise publicly, criticize privately” is more than just good advice—it's a vital strategy for allyship, equity, and leadership development. Dr. Kimberly DeSimone shares personal insights from years of academic leadership, backed by compelling research on gender bias in student evaluations, performance reviews, and workplace feedback. This episode uncovers how even well-intentioned critiques can reinforce long-standing stereotypes and disproportionately affect women, particularly those in authority or leadership roles. From teaching evaluations to performance appraisals, listeners are challenged to think critically about how, where, and why they deliver feedback—and how they can shift their language and delivery to foster fairness, growth, and inclusion for everyone. In This Episode, You'll Learn: Why feedback given to women is often shaped by unconscious gender norms. How student evaluations and performance reviews can reflect systemic bias—even unintentionally. The power of public praise to combat stereotypes and normalize women's success. How private critique, delivered thoughtfully, fosters psychological safety and growth without reinforcing harmful narratives. The importance of avoiding gendered labels like “bossy,” “catty,” or “cold,” and replacing them with specific, behavior-based feedback. Why women are judged on proof while men are judged on potential—and how to interrupt that dynamic. Key Takeaways: Bias in feedback is real, often unconscious, and has lasting consequences. Words matter. The language we use to describe women influences how they are perceived and treated. Allyship means being intentional. Supporting women means rethinking when, where, and how we give feedback. Public criticism can reinforce negative stereotypes, while public praise can disrupt them. Everyone carries unconscious bias. But with awareness, we can shift the culture—one conversation, one evaluation, and one word choice at a time. Resources Mentioned: Clare Boothe Luce's quote on the burden of representation for women. Research by Joan Williams and the Center for WorkLife Law on gender bias. MacNell, Driscoll, and Hunt (2015) study on gender in teaching evaluations. Call to Action: Think about the last time you gave feedback—what words did you use? Was it public or private? This week, try praising a woman's work formally and publicly, and if needed, deliver critique privately and constructively. It's a small change with the potential for big impact.   Join the Conversation: Have a story about feedback—good or bad? Want to share how you're practicing mindful allyship? Tag us on Instagram @advancingwomenpodcast to keep the conversation going. Subscribe & Share: If this episode resonated with you, share it with a colleague or friend who gives or receives feedback. And don't forget to subscribe for more conversations on advancing women in leadership, work, and beyond.   For more information on Dr. DeSimone: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

We're constantly reminded to take time for ourselves, to prioritize self-care, to fill our own cup first. These messages are everywhere—but let's be honest, it's not always that simple. Life has a way of stacking the deck against us. The expectations never stop piling up. We're juggling so many responsibilities—personally, professionally, emotionally—and somehow we're supposed to keep all the balls in the air…with a smile on our face. In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I explore the radical idea of accepting the chaos—acknowledging it without judgment—and finding ways to care for ourselves within it. Not after everything is calm. Not when the to-do list is done. Now. This is about creating a sustainable practice of peace. It's about showing up with intention, even in the messiness. Being mindful of how we feel, how we move through the world, and the energy we bring into our relationships and spaces. Let's talk about the small but powerful ways we can nurture our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being—especially when life feels anything but peaceful.   References: The Blissful Mind website https://theblissfulmind.com/ https://recreation.ku.edu/seven-pillars-self-care# For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast   https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/   https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/   https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Want to know how you can truly support family or friends raising a child with autism? This episode is for you. With April being Autism Awareness Month, it's the perfect time to learn about what really matters. Studies show that mothers of children with autism experience stress and depression levels on par with those of active combat soldiers. In this episode, we dive into the importance of awareness, empathy, and practical ways you can offer meaningful support. These are the things autism moms wish you understood, and this episode shares how you can show up for them. Tune in to the Advancing Women Podcast to hear from autism moms about our experiences and what you can say or do to offer the empathy and support we need. "No matter how confident we seem, we are scared all the time. No matter how energetic or enthusiastic we seem, we are exhausted all the time. No matter how together we seem, we often feel like we're barely surviving. No matter how easy we make it look… it's so freaking hard every day.” #tunein   For more information on Dr. Kimberly DeSimone or the Advancing Women Podcast:   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast   Advancing Women Podcast Website: https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

In this episode, we celebrate Women's History Month with words of wisdom from many powerful, brilliant, and inspiring women. Their poignant quotes provide lasting insight and inspiration for all women as we continue to work towards gender equity for all. These quotes and the resulting discussion come from a variety of women including women of color, women from the LGBTQ community, and women from countries across the globe. The quotes go as far back as the 1700s through current day. This is about the voice and inspiration of ALL women. From Abigail Adams, Susan B. Anthony and Lucrecia Mott to Gloria Steinem, Alice Walker, and Audre Lorde, to Doria Shafik, Raicho Hiratsuka, and Simone de Beauvoir to Maya Angelou and Emma Watson – you won't want to miss this inspiration and insight FROM warrior women, FOR warrior women. #womenshistorymonth For more information on Dr. Kimberly DeSimone or the Advancing Women Podcast:   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast Advancing Women Podcast Website: https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

In today's episode, I dive deep into the feeling of being overwhelmed and constantly busy, despite our best efforts to manage our time better. I share some personal reflections on how to take back control of our time and the importance of making small progress in our personal and professional lives. I explore the concept of The Progress Principle, backed by science, and how small wins can lead to greater momentum and motivation. It's a journey of intentionality — where it's not about doing more or being perfect, but about creating consistent, small steps toward progress that lead to greater satisfaction and fulfillment. Key Themes Discussed in this Episode: The Overwhelm Trap: Despite making efforts to reclaim our time, many of us feel overwhelmed with the constant demands of life. The question arises: How can we create more time for ourselves while feeling less burdened? The Power of Saying YES to Ourselves: Often, we focus on saying no to others to protect our time. But maybe it's time to say yes to ourselves — add intentional actions that help us feel more in control of our lives. The Science Behind Progress: Drawing from The Progress Principle by Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer, I explore how small, incremental progress in meaningful tasks can positively impact our well-being, creativity, and motivation. Breaking the Cycle of Inaction: How can we avoid feeling stuck or paralyzed by the magnitude of our goals? Small wins matter, and a little forward motion can help us build momentum. Small Actions, Big Impact: I share simple, actionable steps like focusing on small goals, celebrating wins, and creating a sustainable approach to maintaining momentum. It's about making a little bit of progress each day — whether it's spending 10 minutes on a task, having a brief conversation with a friend, or carving out time for self-care. The key to overcoming overwhelm and reclaiming your time isn't necessarily about doing more or perfecting everything. It's about taking small, intentional actions that gradually build momentum and foster a sense of accomplishment. If we can apply The Progress Principle in our own lives, we'll feel more in control, less overwhelmed, and more motivated to move forward — one small step at a time. #tunein #advancingwomenpodcast For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

What if we could turn FOMO (the fear of missing out) into JOMO (the JOY of missing out)? In this episode of the #AdvancingWomenPodcast join me in exploring how embracing the freedom to say “no” can help us prioritize us and our time. JOMO isn't about scaling back on ambition or motivation, it's about intentionally focusing our time and energy on what truly brings us both achievement and joy. It's about creating balance. #tunein to discover how to shift from the fear of missing out to the joy of missing out. JOMO could be the perfect antidote to FOMO, offering peace and fulfillment without the anxiety of feeling left behind. It encourages being fully present in the moment and appreciating the activities you're engaged in, rather than comparing them to what others are doing. #podcast For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ References https://aninjusticemag.com/whom-do-you-love-your-mother-or-her-sacrifices-a951be29f352 https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/between-the-lines/fomo/articleshow/62550811.cms Fajar Kusnadi Kusumah Putra. (2019). Emerging Travel Trends: Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) Vs Iconic Landmarks. Jurnal Pariwisata Terapan, 3(1), 17–33. https://doi.org/10.22146/jpt.49273 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201807/jomo-the-joy-missing-out https://www.psycom.net/fomo-to-jomo

February is Black History Month, an annual celebration to honor the remarkable achievements of African Americans and acknowledge their pivotal contributions to U.S. history. Throughout this journey, African American women have often been overlooked, despite playing a central role in the ongoing fight for gender equity. This episode celebrates and highlights the powerful voices of courageous Black women, past and present, who have dedicated their lives to creating a more just and equitable world. Tune in for a profound conversation filled with the wisdom and inspiration of these incredible women, whose words continue to carry immense power and make a lasting impact! #tunein to the #advancingwomenpodcast to celebrate Black History Month and honor the invaluable insights of brilliant Black women, including Sojourner Truth, Shirley Chisholm, Bell Hooks, Pauli Murray, Kimberlé Crenshaw, Audre Lorde, Angela Davis, Dr. Maya Angelou, and many more!  References: Hooks, B. (1981). Ain't I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism. Chicago Hooks, B. Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics. Cambridge, MA: South End Press About Kimberlé Crenshaw https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2019/5/20/18542843/intersectionality-conservatism-law-race-gender-discrimination Sojourner Truth's Ain't I a Woman Speech (read by Dr. Maya Angelou) https://youtu.be/mM4JjuQeqDA Truth, S. (Original Speech, 1851) https://thehermitage.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Sojourner-Truth_Aint-I-a-Woman_1851.pdf For more information on Dr. DeSimone or the Advancing Women Podcast: Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

If you feel like your “tone” and level of emotion are being policed, #tunein because this is the #advancingwomenpodcast episode for you! Scrutiny of women's speaking patterns is the latest frontier in an endless barrage of judgment and undermining women face. It is yet another way to blame women. An attempt to shift the emphasis to fixing women versus doing the hard work of fixing #genderbias Tone policing (when someone focuses on how something is said, rather than what is actually being said) often involves critiquing the emotional tone, volume, or manner of speaking, rather than addressing the substance of the message itself. This can be a way to dismiss or silence someone, especially when their words challenge the status quo or express frustration, anger, or vulnerability. In essence, it shifts the conversation away from the content of the message to the way it's delivered, often in a way that reinforces power imbalances. We need to recognize tone policing and comments about upspeak and vocal fry for what they truly are…not a peeve that needs to be professionally developed away but rather, an attempt to silence women. At its core, this policing is about power and status, and who is allowed to have it. Tune in to see how we can learn to recognize and interrupt these bias patterns and put the kibosh on this new version of the tired “fix the women” narrative. As always, it's not your fault, but it is your problem, so don't miss this episode to learn more about tone policing, upspeak, and vocal fry and how to put the kibosh on this new “fix the women” narrative. For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast Website: https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ References: Business Inside Men Use Upspeak and Vocal Fry Too https://www.businessinsider.com/men-use-upspeak-and-vocal-fry-too-2015-8   NPR From Upspeak To Vocal Fry: Are We 'Policing' Young Women's Voices? https://www.npr.org/2015/07/23/425608745/from-upspeak-to-vocal-fry-are-we-policing-young-womens-voices   The Conversation https://theconversation.com/keep-an-eye-on-vocal-fry-its-all-about-power-status-and-gender-45883#:~:text=Vocal%20fry%20is%20a%20distinct,of%20belonging%20in%20that%20tribe Time https://time.com/5006345/what-is-vocal-fry/ Upworthy https://www.upworthy.com/what-is-vocal-fry-and-why-doesnt-anyone-care-when-men-talk-like-that Examples of male vocal fry https://the-toast.net/2015/07/22/examples-of-male-vocal-fry/

Moving from one calendar year to the next doesn't automatically result in personal growth or transformation. Without making changes to the way we think and behave, we're unlikely to experience any significant improvement or progress, no matter how much time passes. As author James Clear says…we  don't rise to the level of our goals, we fall to the level of our systems. And too often, the systems we try to succeed in weren't designed by or for us. In this Advancing Women Podcast episode we deconstruct the barriers that get in the way of our success. It's all about what you think, what you know, and what you do, so #tunein and learn how to change the game (rather than playing their game) with strategies that better serve you. For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88 https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

We live in a world designed largely by and for men and men's pursuits. Research shows that women - even working full time - almost always take on the lion's share of home responsibilities and most of the emotional labor in our families. If you are bogged down in the unnoticed, unappreciated work and feel like your time and goals are deprioritized or derailed, you'll want to #tunein to this episode! It's your time! Let's let 2025 be a year for prioritizing our bold goals. Together, let's get unstuck, start the thing, and overcome resistance! There is NOT an expiration on our goals, but we must get comfortable prioritizing our needs and goals. The Advancing Women Podcast can help! Things will NEVER not be busy. You will never likely find that elusive “more time” and there is no “perfect time.” But it can be YOUR time! Warriors, you were meant to have bold, audacious, meaningful goals! In this episode I talk about WHY we should have BOLD, RADICAL, AUDACIOUS goals and how to recognize and overcome the internal and external barriers that keep us from moving towards our goals. Episodes referenced in this episode: Fear of Failure https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fear-of-failure/id1569849100?i=1000527184290 Teach Girls Bravery AND Teach Boys Empathy https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/lets-teach-girls-bravery-and-teach-boys-empathy/id1569849100?i=1000576175167 Conquering Resistance https://advancingwomenpodcast.podbean.com/e/conquering-resistance/ For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast visit https://www.instagram.com https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/   https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Instead of always aiming for 100%, how about focusing on balance? How about embracing progress over perfection? The "all or nothing" mindset, always pushing to give 100%, may actually be standing in the way of living our best lives. Consider this your permission to let go of this unnecessary pressure and reject the constant brainwashing. During this hectic time of year, it's easy to feel like life is nothing more than an endless to-do list. This #newepisode is all about breaking that cycle. Life is messy and imperfect, and sometimes doing what we can—rather than striving for perfection—is not only enough, but it also creates the space we need to pause and prioritize. Let's embrace progress over perfection and make room for peace, comfort, and joy. Previous episodes referenced in this episode: Advice to my 20-Something Self https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/advice-to-my-20-something-self/id1569849100?i=1000665941516 For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Have you ever been written off as too complicated? Too emotional? These labels may not seem like a big deal, but they can serve as  a way to push aside our difficulties or invalidate our feelings. If you have ever felt not enough AND too much all at once, then this is the episode for you! Having your emotions policed is not a healthy experience. Being gaslighted is not a healthy experience. In this episode of the #advancingwomenpodcast I am here with Dr. Tara Walker to detangle and deconstruct the complicated woman stereotype. #tunein For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ For more about Dr. Tara Walker https://www.linkedin.com/in/tara-walker-phd-2b99008 https://www.sbu.edu/academics/faculty/walker-tara-g https://taragracewalker.com/

As we approach the holidays, this episode is a call to action. I encourage us all to think more intentionally about the choices we make with our dollars and our time. As women, we hold a great deal of consumer power,  and this is a great time to wield that power in the support of other women. I'm talking about women creators, entrepreneurs, women-owned businesses, and businesses that support women! The holiday season is a great time to be intentional in our actions.  It is an opportunity to #support #amplify and #investinwomen This #newepisode is about #warriorwomen coming together to champion one another's artistic, entrepreneurial, creative projects. Let's help increase the visibility of creators and celebrate #womensachievments #womensupportingwomen is #powerful  #tunein #advancingwomenpodcast #persisterhood #womensupportingwomen For more on the creators highlighted in this episode: Anna Michele Bulszewicz AMC Weekly Newsletter https://www.annamcommunications.com/blog 3 Cs Mindfully Speaking Model https://www.annamcommunications.com/new-page-1 Jen Lefforge (Joyful Living with Jen Lefforge) https://www.youtube.com/@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge https://jenlefforge.com/ https://jenlefforge.com/all-of-my-posts/ Heather Lynn Harris https://heatherlynnharris.com/ Something to Sing About https://heatherlynnharris.com/books/ Links to previous podcasts mentioned in this episode: Mindful Communication with Anna Bulszewiczhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mindful-communication/id1569849100?i=1000675707131 Delivering Big Creativity with Heather Lynn Harris https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/delivering-big-creativity-small-steps-practices/id1569849100?i=1000647147881 A Grown Up Gap Year with YouTuber Jen Lefforge https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-grown-up-gap-year-with-youtuber-jen-lefforge/id1569849100?i=1000654737177

#tunein for this dynamic and pragmatic interview on mindful communication and emotional intelligence with communications strategist Anna Bulszewicz. We dive deep into communication, community, and connection.   Let's stop calling communication skills and emotional intelligence "soft skills.” These are ESSENTIAL skills that women tend to be exceptionally good at, so let's make sure we are acknowledging, owning, honing, and touting these super skills!   Podcast referenced in this episode (Let's teach girls bravery and teach boys empathy)   iTunes https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/lets-teach-girls-bravery-and-teach-boys-empathy/id1569849100?i=1000576175167 Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/10oW7FgzU65qrJ5JAsMDrc?si=gCQUw6hxR7GtYpP_f1r2TA For more info on Anna Bulszewicz and Anna Michele Communications (AMC): Website: https://www.annamcommunications.com/ Blog: https://www.annamcommunications.com/blog/woman LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/annabulszewicz/ For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

“We are the granddaughters of the witches you weren't able to burn”  ~ Tish Thawer, The Witches of Blackbrook  #tunein to this #newepisode of the Advancing Women Podcast where in this #Halloween season, we set aside our stereotypical descriptions and depictions of witches, and instead look to appreciate, how generations of activists have reclaimed the witch archetype to resist patriarchal control and stand up to injustice. Let the Season of the Witch symbolize our warrior power and resistance. This episode explores the witch ethos, and how we can point to witch hunts as defining moments of injustice, sexism, and misogyny. It's about the historical context of witch hunts in terms of the societal attitudes and beliefs that fueled the persecution of women. How accusations of witchcraft were used as a way to control and suppress women who defied traditional gender roles…and how we still tend to see and treat powerful women today. References: Joan Williams Tightrope Bias https://gender.stanford.edu/news/what-works-women-work Tightrope Bias & the Likability Dilemma https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tightrope-bias-the-likeability-dilemma/id1569849100?i=1000570385546 In Defense of Witches: The Legacy of the Witch Hunts and Why Women Are Still on Trial by  Mona Chollet https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250272225/indefenseofwitches The Witches of Blackbrook by Tish Thawer http://www.tishthawer.com/the-witches-of-blackbrook.html Donovan Season of the Witch  https://youtu.be/GU35oCHGhJ0?si=F8NoU831_jbOvVJ5 Lana Del Rey Season of the Witch https://youtu.be/tQbTyeTMa4M?si=ipH-192TJ56m4gCI Joan Jett Season of the Witch https://youtu.be/YKYcGFexI6U?si=ajHLtwfr9R7Lt7Mq

“The wind extinguishes a candle and energizes fire.” ~Taleb (2014) In this episode, I'm talking about Antifragility, a concept even more powerful than resiliency and grit. It's about overcoming. Harnessing the wind and being the fire that is energized. As Nietzsche (and Kanye) have said…that that don't kill me…can only make me stronger…” Antifragility, resilience, and grit are valuable tools in combating gender inequity so we can transcend and thrive. Despite the barriers that create an unlevel playing field for far too many talented, highly qualified women, it is possible that WE can have the last word in the end if we adopt an antifragility mindset. #tunein to harness your emotional intelligence superpowers!  #antifragility #grit #resilience #transcend #thrive Reference The 4Ps Advancement Model™ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency/ Nassim Nicholas Taleb (2014) Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder. Random House Publishing For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Do you ever feel guilty for not feeling more grateful?  Guess what? This is a classic example of “it's not your fault, but it is your problem.” Have you noticed an increase in using positivity and gratitude as a means of control and superiority? A weaponizing of gratitude where it's being wielded to minimize someone's experience? In this episode, we explore weaponized gratitude and gratitude shaming. Our feelings are valid! No problem is "too small to matter” and being told to be "grateful” when we are upset isn't helpful or kind, it's manipulative and invalidating. “Enforced gratitude is weaponized gratitude. It's not helpful and, very often, it's harmful. So, let's start opting out.” ~Becky Mollenkamp We are human beings, not squirrels. We are complex, and beautifully complicated, and can feel many things simultaneously. Gratitude is powerful, but it is a gift we give ourselves. It's a tool for creating inner peace, not a weapon to be wielded by others to manipulate our feelings or behaviors. Let's dive into this important and timely topic. #newepisode #tunein #weaponizedgratitude #gratitudeshaming Reference https://beckymollenkamp.com/weaponized-gratitude/ https://susanarinderle.medium.com/be-grateful-but-dont-weaponize-gratitude-fe3e09157264 https://www.talklife.com/post/let-s-talk-about-gratitude-shaming Previous podcast episode referenced in this episode https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/toxic-positivity-versus-mental-contrasting/id1569849100?i=1000577719994 For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/   https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88

In this episode, we talk about social comparison and how we can fall into the trap of valuing our personal and social worth by assessing how we compare to others. Whether it is an upward or downward comparison, if we allow comparison of others to dictate how we view our own lives it can steal our joy. Comparison is a Kryptonite that often makes us want more while simultaneously seeing ourselves as less.  “A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms” ~Zen Shin  #tunein to this episode of the #advancingwomenpodcast to learn how to ditch comparison and stop allowing it to steal our joy. Podcast episodes referenced in this episode: Fear of Failure https://podcasts.apple.com/gw/podcast/fear-of-failure/id1569849100?i=1000527184290&l=fr-FR Toxic Positivity https://podcasts.apple.com/gw/podcast/toxic-positivity-versus-mental-contrasting/id1569849100?i=1000577719994&l=fr-FR For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

I'm practicing what I preach in this episode and offering myself some grace. Enjoy a reposting (with a new introduction) of one of my most popular, and most downloaded episodes ever. It's all about 50/20 vision…what advice in my 50s would I give my 20-something self? We've all heard the adage “Hindsight is 20/20”. It's an expression that suggests it's easier to understand something after it has already happened, that we have a level of clarity when we look back at a situation, event, or decision. This episode in from November 2021 and was my 25th episode (crazy now that we're 100 plus episodes in!) and it dropped on my 50th birthday. It's all about the wisdom and clarity that comes with being in our 50s. What my 50-year-old self wishes my 20-year-old self knew. I invited my two best friends, my most trusted warrior tribe to join me on what ended up being an incredible group mentoring session. It's a combined 150 years of experience navigating the biases and barriers we as warrior women face. We talk about choosing what serves you and leaving the rest behind, embracing fear, holding on loosely, learning versus unlearning, having an “AND” mindset versus either or, and so much more. “Be humble enough to learn the rules, thoughtful enough to evaluate how the rules serve you, and brave enough to break the rules.” Whether in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, or beyond, this episode is for you! For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ Reference: https://www.lifehack.org/500575/a-letter-to-my-50-year-old-self-on-grace-and-getting-older

How often are you asked, “How do you juggle it all?”  If you're a working mom, the answer is probably OFTEN. If you're a working dad, the answer is probably NEVER. Research confirms that dads working outside the home are often praised for being good fathers while moms who work outside the home are often judged. If you've ever felt frustrated at how dads get a pat on the back whenever they are out with their kids, while moms often get judged, this episode will hit home! It's time to detangle having it all from DOING it all! We should all be outraged by the disparity in expectations that can create more work for moms and minimize the incredibly vital role fathers play. Let's interrupt that gender-biased default because it's not good for women, it's not good for men, and it's not good for families. #tunein References: https://www.thelily.com/my-husband-and-i-are-equal-partners-why-does-he-get-so-much-more-credit-for-parenting/ https://www.npr.org/2014/07/08/329804378/why-arent-men-asked-if-they-can-have-it-allhttps://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/06/12/fathers-day-facts/ https://www.scarymommy.com/dads-get-more-praise-doing-everyday-things https://www.tlc.com/parenting/dads-are-happier-than-moms--study-says--but-its-not-that-simple For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Warriors,  do you ever feel like no matter how many productivity techniques you master there is always more to do than you can ever accomplish in the time you have available? So much effort and attention to be productive…often chasing the holy grail of maximizing our productivity. And what about FOMO? The fear of missing out on events, experiences, or life decisions that could make our lives better. The irony is that the exact opposite tends to be true. Research shows FOMO can lead to extreme dissatisfaction and negatively affect our physical and mental health. FOMO can be exacerbated by social media which creates a constant, instantaneous window into the lives of others…all the achievements and high points of others are posted daily. And even though we know that social media doesn't give a full and accurate picture of people's lives…even though we get that it's more like a movie trailer or a highlight reel of other's good times…it can create a false reality that negatively impacts us nonetheless. Enter JOMO – the JOY of missing out. JOMO just may be the direct anecdote to FOMO. It is the joy, the pleasure, rather than regret, derived from living quietly and independently without feeling anxious that we are missing out on exciting or interesting events that may be happening elsewhere. Find out more about this purposeful, intentional strategy. #tunein For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/     References https://aninjusticemag.com/whom-do-you-love-your-mother-or-her-sacrifices-a951be29f352 https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/between-the-lines/fomo/articleshow/62550811.cms Emerging Travel Trends: Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) Vs Iconic Landmarks | Putra | Jurnal Pariwisata Terapan (ugm.ac.id)   https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201807/jomo-the-joy-missing-out https://www.psycom.net/fomo-to-jomo

Did you know that research shows we tend to dress the way we feel? If we feel sad or unmotivated, we are more likely to wear unflattering clothing. But here's some good news, we can also feel the way we dress! Fashion is one of the most visible ways we can express ourselves and increasingly there's a movement to make fashion more playful and inclusive. Maybe it's time this summer to have some fun and rethink the fashion choices we are making. Are we picking colors and patterns we love, or wearing black because it's most “flattering”? Ready to ditch hiding in favor of expressing through fashion? Don't miss this discussion with body-positive fashion influencer Veronic Freund. All of us warrior women deserve to step into our power and feel fashionable and confident in clothes that makes us feel playful, sexy, and beautiful!   Resources: To learn more about Veronica: https://veronicafreund.com/ https://www.tiktok.com/@veronicafreund https://www.instagram.com/veronica_freund87/ For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/  

Take time for yourself…take time for self-care…fill your cup. We hear this all the time, but the reality is that things often work against you. All the expectations…the balls we're meant to juggle, all at once and never drop. Oh…and keep smiling. In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I explore the radical acceptance of the chaos in our lives and talk about how we can care for ourselves, in small ways, regularly. It's about creating a practice for peace, even in difficult moments, and being mindful and intentional in how we show up, the experience others have with us, and the energy we bring. Let's talk about the small ways we can maintain our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being, even in the chaos.   Show References: The Blissful Mind website https://theblissfulmind.com/ https://recreation.ku.edu/seven-pillars-self-care#   For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Coming off of last week's episode addressing the assault on women's ambition, I wanted to explore ambition and the backlash women experience in more detail in this episode with special guest nationally recognized money expert, Stephanie O'Connell Rodriguez   Does the workplace constantly make you question yourself? Ever had an offer rescinded when you tried to negotiate for more money? Ever been told to speak up but when you do, you face consequences? Ever feel like ambitious men are celebrated while ambitious women are criticized and experience backlash? Tired of the backlash, blame, and gaslighting? Then you won't want to miss this episode!   Learn more about Stephanie O'Connell and the ambition penalty here:   https://tooambitious.com/about/   https://www.instagram.com/stefanieoconnell/   For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast   https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Most of you have probably seen or at least heard about the commencement speech from NFL kicker Harrison Butker. This #newepisode doesn't cover everything he said. Still, I cover the comments that are in my lane…in the areas of gender equity and women's experiences in the workforce and the home. Let's explore the “diabolical lie” that Butker asserts women have fallen for. Women's ambition is, yet again…in the hot seat! Are women choosing careers over family, and if so, why? Are men choosing not to marry or even date? Are our expectations too high? Should we set aside our workforce ambition and focus on marriage and children? Can we have it all? These questions and so much more will be examined and dissected to see if they hold up against what the science tells us. You don't want to miss this one! #tunein #advancingwomenpodcast   References: Advancing Women Podcast. Young men are opting out of marriage. Should we care? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/young-men-are-opting-out-of-marriage-and/id1569849100?i=1000604015537 Forbes: What women want ranking.  https://www.forbes.com/2010/05/26/what-do-women-want-in-husband-forbes-woman-well-being-marriage_slide.html?sh=7c248933b11b Pew Research (2024) https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/02/15/among-young-adults-without-children-men-are-more-likely-than-women-to-say-they-want-to-be-parents-someday/ News & Observer. Husbands, wives more likely to cheat if they depend on spouse for money. https://www.newsobserver.com/living/article22790805.html#storylink=cpy

It's May, a month we celebrate moms and a great time to touch base about how we are feeling about things.  If you sometimes find yourself feeling undervalued, unseen, and underappreciated, this episode is for you. Research shows most women, especially moms, have been socially conditioned to do for others. To always prioritize and meet everyone's needs. We face societal and familial expectations of selflessness, ensuring everybody stays comfortable and happy. We are meant to make sure everything gets done and to do it without complaint. But what happens when the constant juggling of to-do's,  the emotional and mental labor, and the lack of feeling valued start to take a toll? How do we tackle the frustration and the resentment that bubbles up? When we are emotionally exhausted,  spiritually fatigued, and feeling undervalued for long enough, we can find ourselves enduring rather than thriving…missing out on the joy (and rest) we deserve. Guess what though…you are not alone! #tunein to learn more about emotional labor, spiritual fatigue, and just maybe, to get the empathy and acknowledgement you need. Reference: Hartley, G. (2018) Fed Up: Emotional labor, women, and the way forward. Laporte, D. (2014) The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms. https://www.psychedmommy.com/blog/invisible-load-motherhood https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/201807/the-invisible-mom https://the-toast.net/2015/07/13/emotional-labor/?src=longreads For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Have you ever wondered what you would do if you could do anything? What if you took a grown-up gap year to figure it out? That's just what my guest Jen Lefforge did. That is how, at age 46, after a 25-year career, and after raising 3 sons, she took a year off to find out what she wanted to be when she grew up. That grown-up gap year resulted in her current day job as a professional content creator and full-time #YouTuber who makes a living documenting her travels, adventures, and the art of joyful living to her community of more than 80K subscribers!   www.youtube.com/joyfullivingwithjenlefforge   Too often, as women, we hear that our best years are behind us once we get into our 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond, so I am passionate about telling the stories of women of a big age (as Jen likes to say!)  who are crushing it and doing new and unexpected things. As women we tend to follow a less linear path, more of what researchers call a Kaleidoscope Career Model (KCM). The kaleidoscope is a perfect metaphor for how we alter our careers in response to changing needs. Whether the need is for authenticity, balance, or ever-changing family needs, we as women are often rotating priorities. This episode explores the journey and the possibilities that can be ours if we take the time to dig deep, reflect, and take a chance! You don't want to miss this episode with @jenlefforge Find the fabulous Jen Lefforge here: YouTube. Joyful Living with Jen Lefforge www.youtube.com/joyfullivingwithjenlefforge Website: Jenlefforge.com Instagram @jenlefforge For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ Reference: Sullivan, S. E., & Carraher, S. M. (2022). The kaleidoscope career model. In Oxford research encyclopedia of business and management. Mainiero, L. A., & Gibson, D. E. (2018). The kaleidoscope career model revisited: How midcareer men and women diverge on authenticity, balance, and challenge. Journal of Career Development, 45(4), 361-377

Too often the advice given to women doesn't work because it wasn't designed by or for women. In this episode, we share advice from inspirational women of influence. We break it down and talk about what advice serves us, and what advice…seemingly well-meaning, might lead to unintended consequences. Should we always give 100% in everything we do? Should we bring our authentic selves always? Should we only do work we love? Maybe, maybe not. #Tunein and we'll break it all down. With a special guest, the very wise Heather Harris https://heatherlynnharris.com/   Episodes of the Advancing Women Podcast referenced in this episode: Fear of Failure https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fear-of-failure/id1569849100?i=1000527184290 Center Coach Create™ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/advice-that-works-for-women-center-coach-create/id1569849100?i=1000641765074 Reference https://www.bizjournals.com/buffalo/news/2023/07/13/women-of-influence-2023-honorees.html For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Want to know what you can do to show support for your family or friends who have a child with autism? This is the episode for you. April is autism awareness month so here are some things to be aware of. Research shows that mothers of children with autism have elevated levels of depression and stress levels comparable to the stress levels of active combat soldiers! This episode is about awareness, acknowledgment, empathy, and small ways YOU can show your support. This is what moms of children with autism want people to know, so don't miss this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast to better understand the experience of autism moms and what you can say and do to show empathy and support. “No matter how confident we seem, we are scared all the time. No matter how energetic or enthusiastic we seem, we are exhausted all the time. No matter how together we seem, we often feel like we're barely surviving. No matter how easy, we might make it look…it is so freaking hard every day.”   Reference: Twin Cities Mom Collective (March 2022). My Secret World as an Autism Mom. https://twincitiesmom.com/my-secret-world-autism-mom/ Recker, L., & Babcock, E. (2021). Parent/Caregiver Burnout with Autism Due to COVID. Seltzer, M. M., Greenberg, J. S., Hong, J., Smith, L. E., Almeida, D. M., Coe, C., & Stawski, R. S. (2010). Maternal cortisol levels and behavior problems in adolescents and adults with ASD. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 40(4), 457–469. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-009-0887-0 For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Which leadership traits are ideal and who decides? How important are confidence and assertiveness versus interpersonal sensitivity and empathy? Are we better off with the relaxed, caring, leader who strives to “do it harmoniously,” or the motivated, inspirational leader who strives to “do it together”? The logical, cautious leader who strives to “do it right,” or the determined, competitive leader who strives to “do it now”? Which traits are associated with positive outcomes, and which are associated with negative outcomes? Emerging research is showing that it is time to reexamine a broken system that constantly praises traits that can lead to dark leadership,  exploitativeness, and abuse of power. Is much of the advice we give women to help them advance serving to snuff out the very traits we should be valuing in women AND men?  #Tunein to this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast to learn more about ideal leadership traits. From the Dark Triad of #narcissism #Machiavellianism and #psychopathy to #emotional intelligence, this episode covers it all! Previous Advancing Women Podcast Episodes Referenced in this Episode: Fear of Failure: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fear-of-failure/id1569849100?i=1000527184290 Tightrope Bias & The Likeability Dilemma: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tightrope-bias-the-likeability-dilemma/id1569849100?i=1000570385546 References Catalyst. (2020, June 15). Empathy in the Workplace: The Key to Stronger Relationships, Collaboration, and Employee Performance. Retrieved from https://www.catalyst.org/reports/empathy-work-strategy-crisis Delgado, K. (2021). The dark traits of leadership and how to avoid them. Fast Company. Furtner, M. R., Maran, T., & Rauthmann, J. F. (Eds.). (2019). Dark Leadership: The Role of Leaders' Dark Triad Personality Traits. Springer International Publishing. Nichols, A. L. (2016). What do people desire in their leaders? The effect of leadership experience on desired leadership traits. Leadership & Organization Development Journal, 37(5), 658-671. Simha, A., & Parboteeah, K. P. (2020). The big 5 personality traits and willingness to justify unethical behavior—a cross-national examination. Journal of Business Ethics, 167, 451-471. Taylor, S. (2022, March 15). Out of the Darkness. The Danger of Dark Triad Leaders. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/out-the-darkness/202203/the-danger-dark-triad-leaders Agaragimova, E. (2022). Women May Make Better Leaders Than Men: Science Shows Feminine Leadership Qualities. Pew Research Center For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Do you ever find yourself working on anything and everything but the thing that you should be working on? This episode addresses the inner saboteur and all the things that create resistance and interfere with your creativity and purpose.   “Whenever you're feeling bored, bummed, or broken resistance is winning in your life.” ~ Mel Robbins Resistance is anything that stops you from taking creative action, things like inner fears, negative self-talk, ego, and self-doubt. Resistance has one sole mission: to keep things as they are. To maintain the status quo. Resistance will attempt to stop our creative activity through any means necessary, whether it be rationalizing, inspiring fear and anxiety, emphasizing other distractions that require attention, or raising the voice of our inner critic. This episode is about managing our ego, silencing the inner saboteur, and honing our humility. It's about learning to recognize resistance when it creeps into our life so we can rise above it and do the things that lead us to our highest purpose and our best self.   Reference: Joshua J Anderson: https://www.joshuajanderson.com/blog/ego-the-downfall-of-man Mel Robbins: https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Saying-Youre-Fine-Getting/dp/0307716732 Steven Pressfield: https://www.amazon.com/War-Art-Winning-Creative-Battle-audio-cd/dp/1501260626 For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Delivering big creativity starts with small steps and practices you incorporate into your everyday life. Too often we hold back our creative energy because we lack courage, but the truth is connecting to your creativity is connecting to your courage. Creativity = Courage Just like any proficiency, creativity is a muscle that needs to be exercised. Developing your creativity starts with the simple act of developing a creative practice that is judgment-free and full of fun. #tunein to this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast with Creative Warrior Heather Harris and learn to embrace, cultivate, and celebrate your creativity. Learn more about cultivating your creativity: https://centercoachcreate.com/courses/e-commerce-course/ https://heatherlynnharris.com/ For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

February is black history month, an annual celebration of achievements by African Americans, and a time for recognizing their central role in U.S. history and, importantly, in the women's equality movement. African American women have too often been overlooked in the history of our fight for gender equity. This episode honors and quotes many brilliant, brave, black women who fought to create a fairer and more equitable world. These words have tremendous power and impact including the important work of Kimberlé Crenshaw who coined the phrase intersectionality. Crenshaw simply and poignantly said, "If we aren't intersectional, some of us, the most vulnerable, are going to fall through the cracks." This is at the heart of Together We Rise, bringing to the forefront that we must consider all women when we talk about advancing women. As Audra Lord said, “I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” #tunein and celebrate #blackhistorymonth and honor the insights of so many brilliant black women including Sojourner Truth, Shirley Chisholm, Bell Hooks, Pauli Murray, Kimberlé Crenshaw, Rebecca Walker, Audre Lorde, Angela Davis, Dr. Maya Angelou, and more! References: Hooks, B. (1981). Ain't I a woman: Black women and feminism. Chicago Hooks, B. Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics. Cambridge, MA :South End Press   About Kimberlé Crenshaw https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2019/5/20/18542843/intersectionality-conservatism-law-race-gender-discrimination     Sojourner Truth's Ain't I A Woman Speech (read by Dr. Maya Angelou) https://youtu.be/mM4JjuQeqDA   Truth, S. (Original Speech, 1851) https://thehermitage.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Sojourner-Truth_Aint-I-a-Woman_1851.pdf   For more information on Dr. DeSimone or the Advancing Women Podcast: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

When you sit with warriors, the conversation is different. The power of sitting with warriors is the impact of those conversations. Too many of us are surrounded by people that will always see us as we are, rather than seeing our potential and growth. We need to nurture the right relationships and build a community of people that we can count on, that give it to us straight, that we trust,  and that have our backs. I'm talking about the people who elevate us and move us toward our best selves and our best lives. #tunein to learn what you can do to create that community. In the new year, we often focus on health and fitness, but maybe it's time to focus on your social fitness! Conversation and community should equal social support. Learn more about how a strong group of women in your corner can be a game changer, not just in terms of success and growth, but also for longevity. The right people help us to put things in perspective which helps build our resilience and cope better when things don't go to plan. These relationships can help us to transcend and thrive…but only if we're nurturing the seeds that will bloom and not the weeds. Resources America Ferrera Barbie Speech: https://youtu.be/CBqlDWHkdHk?si=C-8_mAEIxf0jlPGC Advancing Women Podcast  episode #94 Advice that works for Women https://open.spotify.com/episode/6JUelsOcwsPZEmSBLq028y?si=0IPVgRRrQSeArAMT8MEh0A Center Coach Create™ https://centercoachcreate.com/ For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

As women, we are often faced with unique barriers and then contradictory advice. This episode is about better understanding the biases that produce those barriers so that we can interrupt them and ditch the contradictory advice with strategies that work FOR WOMEN. Too often the best practice advice that women receive doesn't work for us because it wasn't designed by or for us! So, we end up internalizing the fault and the flaw when ANY advice grounded in women as not enough, flawed, or defective is advice we don't need and should not listen to! It's not your fault but it is your problem. So #tunein to hear about a #bold #audacious new community launching this year: Center Coach Create™ https://centercoachcreate.com/ Center Coach Create™ is a personal and professional development company grounded in #wellness powered by #knowledge and manifested as #creative #courage. Don't miss this #newepisode where we show how Center Coach Create™ is the remedy to advice and strategies that don't work for women. Join wellness Warrior Erica Golub and Creative Warrior Heather Harris as we talk Center and the practice of stillness, reflection, and nourish; Coach and the practice of pause, strategic response, and utilizing your community; and Create and the practice of believing in your creativity, establishing a creative practice, and embracing imperfection. So much useful information packed into this episode, you won't want to miss it! #tunein References: Center Coach Create™ https://centercoachcreate.com/ America Ferrara Barbie Clip: https://youtu.be/CBqlDWHkdHk?si=ruPbzkJKfZ5QPtU_ J.Williams:  https://www.ted.com/talks/joan_c_williams_why_corporate_diversity_programs_fail_and_how_small_tweaks_can_have_big_impact? Fortune: https://fortune.com/2015/10/28/women-career-advancement/ For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/  https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Thanks to the sponsor of this episode Center Coach Create™ a personal and professional development company that helps ambitious women develop their mindset, skillset, and toolset with evidence-based strategies designed by and for women, Center Coach Create™ can help you get unstuck so you can transcend and thrive. Learn more at https://centercoachcreate.com/   Let's let 2024 be a year for bold, audacious goals. Let's get unstuck, start the thing, and overcome resistance BUT, let's also remember that there is NOT an expiration on our goals. It's our lives and our goals, so it should be on our timeline. We must be mindful though, that our timeline isn't when things get “less busy” or when “you're ready.” Here's the thing warriors, things will NEVER not be busy. You will never likely find that elusive “more time” and there is no “perfect time.”  We don't want our goals to be on someone else's timeline, but we also don't want the internal saboteur to talk us out of moving forward with our goals. Because warriors, you were meant to have bold, audacious, meaningful goals! In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I talk about WHY we should have BOLD, RADICAL, AUDACIOUS goals and how to recognize and overcome the internal and external barriers that keep us from moving towards our goals. Here's the great news…you don't have to do it alone.   Episodes referenced in this episode: Fear of Failure https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fear-of-failure/id1569849100?i=1000527184290   Teach Girls Bravery AND Teach Boys Empathy https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/lets-teach-girls-bravery-and-teach-boys-empathy/id1569849100?i=1000576175167   Conquering Resistance: ‎Advancing Women Podcast: Conquering Resistance on Apple Podcasts     For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast visit:   https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/   https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

As women, we can find ourselves feeling more stressed with all the holiday prep that so often disproportionately drains us of our time and our calm. We feel like if we don't do all the things, others will be disappointed, or things will fall through the cracks. So, we do everything in our power to mediate that, often at great personal cost to our comfort and joy. This episode focuses on YOUR comfort, joy, calm, and cozy. Learn more in this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast about the Danish practice of Hygge (coziness & comfort) and the art of joyful living. For all you do to care and do for others, take a little time this holiday season to get cozy, you deserve it! Tidings of Hygge & Joy Resources The Year of Living Danishly: Uncovering the Secrets of the World's Happiest Country by Helen Russell The Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets to Happy Living by Meik Wiking The HYGGE manifesto https://medium.com/10-bullets-100-words-book-summary/10-bullets-100-words-book-the-little-book-of-hygge-by-meik-wiking-3656e2b8035c Joyful: The surprising power of ordinary things to create extraordinary happiness by Ingrid Fetell Lee The Joy of Less: A Minimalist Guide to Declutter, Organize, and Simplify For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Did you know that although women make up half the population, research shows we control or influence most consumer spending (more than 80% of all purchases!) Why then don't more businesses large and small think of women first when creating new products and services AND how dare these companies that benefit so greatly from the decisions women make to purchase their products not create more equity for women within the organization's leadership? Tis the season…to flex our consumer power and help support women and women's advancement. This episode encourages us all to think intentionally and strategically about the choices we make with our dollars and how our choices can impact gender equity. Shop your conscience this holiday season and don't fall into the trap of believing that you alone can't make a difference. As Vincent van Gogh said, great things are done by a series of small things brought together! #supportwomen #sheconomy #womensupportingwomen #supportwomeninbusiness Resources: Gender Diversity Index https://www.equilar.com/reports/74-q1-2020-equilar-gender-diversity-index.html For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Have you ever felt Imposter Syndrome? Then #tunein because this is the episode for you! Women in the workplace and in society are too often “problematized” rather than addressing very real biases and barriers we face. We are told if we want to succeed…to belong…we have to fit in and research shows that fitting in is the opposite of belonging because we are expected to change who we are rather than be who we are. We are told to be our authentic selves then feel consequences when we do. This episode addresses the three main themes in the imposter syndrome: 1. Not believing you deserve the success you have achieved. 2. A feeling of fraudulence about that success. 3. A feeling of dread that you will be “found out”. But we will also consider context when we are discussing imposter syndrome. Although research has shown that both men and women can experience the phenomenon – it is women, who tend to be the focus of the advice, workshops, books, and professional development initiatives aimed at overcoming the problem. It is unfair to make this a women problem, BUT we should consider how women and persons of color disproportionately experience many workforce biases that HAVE contributed to the problem. Let's talk about ending the narratives around women and Imposter Syndrome so there is less talk of fixing women at work and more fixing the places women work! Reference: https://www.ted.com/talks/jodi_ann_burey_the_myth_of_bringing_your_full_authentic_self_to_work?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_may_shape_who_you_are?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare https://hbr.org/2021/02/stop-telling-women-they-have-imposter-syndrome For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

We are all so busy juggling so many competing priorities for our time and energy. Careers, families, relationships, goals, aspirations, personal growth, wellness, and self-care. It can all begin to feel like too much. Where do we put our energy? Which seeds do we water?  This episode is about focus and ensuring that energy flows where attention goes. It's not just about planting and watering the right seeds, it's about dealing with those seeds that we didn't even plant (the social conditioning that doesn't serve us, that negatively impacts how we think, feel, and act). The pruning of the weeds to support the right growth in our gardens (our lives). if we water positive thoughts, they will bring us joy and optimism but if we water negative thoughts… the mental weeds, they can bring anxiety and self-doubt.  This episode is about watering the seeds that will blossom into the life we want and starving the weeds that don't. #Tunein to this #newepisode of the #advancingwomenpodcast References The Parable of the Two Wolves https://theacademy.sdsu.edu/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/two-wolves-cherokee-story.pdf The Power of Positive Affirmations https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-power-of-positive-affirmations-sitting-with-warriors/id1569849100?i=1000626021600

Too often culturally we glorify the hustle and grind. The truth is though, we all pay a price for overwork including stress, burnout, and less healthy emotional well-being. Especially for women. This episode of the #advancingwomenpodcast addresses the extreme work model, presenteeism, and a 24/7 work culture where high intensity is the norm, where everything is an emergency, and where every problem is critical. A culture of constant accessibility and availability has become the productivity standard. But is it necessary? If you want less #hustle and #grind and more #balanced and #alignment then this is the episode for you! #tunein For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Mansplaining is more than condescension or interrupting, it's where condescension intersects with power and privilege. Mansplaining is a condescending explanation by members of socially, culturally, or legally privileged groups in their interactions with those who don't hold the same power and privilege. In this episode, we deconstruct Androcentric Bias (the assumption that the male view is the norm or default), and Androcentrism (the tendency to center society around men's needs and priorities). This episode addresses where mansplaining is most prevalent (which domains) and provides some new solutions to a tiresome old problem.  It's also a great episode for male allies who may be asking; how do I recognize mansplaining so I can be an upstander? #tunein Episodes referenced in this episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tightrope-bias-the-likeability-dilemma/id1569849100?i=1000570385546 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/second-generation-gender-bias/id1569849100?i=1000524554582 For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/  https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ Additional References: Mansplaining Explained in One Chart: https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart Am I Mansplaining Chart? https://images.app.goo.gl/XxbgA6JBbBYjwosF6 Kaplan, S. (2019). Mansplaining: New solutions to a tiresome old problem. The Conversation Online: https://theconversation.com/mansplaining-new-solutions-to-a-tiresome-old-problem-120400 Bailey, A. H., LaFrance, M., & Dovidio, J. F. (2019). Is man the measure of all things? A social cognitive account of androcentrism. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 23(4), 307-331.

Too often we as women take on an unfair share of responsibilities and then are blamed for saying yes to every request when we are too busy and feel overwhelmed. But… if we don't do it, who will? This episode  demystifies why it is so difficult for us as women to say no (hint: it's not your fault, but it is your problem!) I explore with compassion (and a lot of evidence) why saying no, while difficult for many people, can be especially difficult for women. I address the very real patterns of bias, social norms, and expectations that contribute to why women often find saying no so challenging AND we go beyond the why and into the how.   Want to know how to create healthy boundaries,  control our own narratives, and take back authority over our time and well-being?  Then #tunein You won't want to miss this one!   Episodes referenced in this episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kicking-the-over-apologizing-habit/id1569849100?i=1000617617515 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-year-anniversary-episode-its-still-not-your-fault/id1569849100?i=1000615774652   For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast   https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/   https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Can meritocracy make things fairer? Does it level the playing field? A meritocracy is a system where power and advancement are granted to individuals based solely on talent, effort, ability, and achievement. That we will be evaluated based solely on performance as measured through objective criteria and demonstrated achievement. The problem is the premise of meritocracy. The assumption is that evaluations in the workforce are objective, despite research and knowledge that we as human beings, social beings with different experiences, are incapable of being completely objective. So then, if we know that, we should be more realistic about the limitations of meritocracy principles in organizations. Indeed, research overwhelmingly confirms that much of our evaluation in hiring and promoting is NOT based on purely objective criteria, despite our utopian belief and desire for this to be the case. So, this episode of the #advancingwomenpodcast holds the idea of meritocracy and women's advancement up the scrutiny of the scientific knowledge of human behavior, biases, and blind spots, as well as the erroneous assumptions that guide meritocratic ideologies which ultimately serve to hinder women's advancement. #tunein References Staniscuaski, F. (2023). The science meritocracy myth devalues women. Science, 379(6639), 1308-1308. van Dijk, H., Kooij, D., Karanika-Murray, M., De Vos, A., & Meyer, B. (2020). Meritocracy a myth? A multilevel perspective of how social inequality accumulates through work. Organizational Psychology Review, 10(3-4), 240-269. https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2021/01/the-myth-of-meritocracy-according-to-michael-sandel/ For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast  https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/  https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

If you think positive affirmations are a touchy-feely approach to dealing with bias and inequity, think again! Research shows that positive affirmations are an excellent way to combat negative messaging and positively impact our thoughts and actions. Positive affirmations help us to disrupt negative thinking (that often comes from gender bias that is not our fault but is our problem) and help re-wire our brains for positive thoughts. Women in society, especially in the world of social media, are fed a steady diet of “not enoughness”, but guess what? You ARE  enough, you HAVE enough, and you DO enough (That's one of many affirmations we'll be discussing in this episode!) The best anecdote to negative energy…the best way to interrupt external and internal negative talk… is creating a practice of positive affirmations. With practice, eventually, positive thought patterns appear and interrupt negative thoughts AND those good thoughts then affect your actions. I often say on the Advancing Women Podcast, that when you sit with warriors the conversation is different and, in this episode, I sit with warriors and we share, and discuss some of our favorite (most impactful) positive affirmations.   References https://dannysessays.com/ Addison Road “This Little Light of Mine”   https://youtu.be/CVeB7ACVgO0   Hebrews 11:1     https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy/id1569849100?i=1000612238713   https://planetsark.com/yes-to-more-selflove-for-you/ Cingel, D. P., Carter, M. C., & Krause, H. V. (2022). Social media and self-esteem. Current Opinion in Psychology, 45, 101304. https://www.headwayclinic.ca/4-benefits-positive-affirmations/   For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ ttps://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

“You do not rise to the level of your goals, but you fall to the level of your systems” (James Clear, 2018, Atomic Habits). It is crucial for us as women who so often encounter unique, unfair barriers while also hearing conflicting advice (not created by or FOR women!) to transcend and thrive by creating intentional, actionable, steps and strategic processes that disrupt the bias and better serve us. This episode is about creating the clarity we need to be proactive and effective. When we see the patterns of bias in the situation, we can respond in a way that works for women. If you want to hear more about creating the most effective mindset (what you think), skillset (what you know), and toolset (what you do) to take back control and tackle barriers you won't want to miss this episode! Resources https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/tone-policing-vocal-fry-upspeak/id1569849100?i=1000568796565 https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits For more on the 4 Ps Advancement Model: https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency/ https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/the-4-ps-advancement-model-for-women/id1569849100?i=1000580718803 For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast  https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/  https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

If you are ambitious and achievement driven, it can be easy to find yourself in an extreme work model and out of balance especially when #presenteeism and constant availability are often erroneously associated with commitment and drive. This outdated “ideal worker” norm is bad for everyone, men and women, but research shows it can be especially damaging to women's careers. Societal norms and expectations continue to perpetuate the idea that being a wife and raising a family is the top priority for women, while career advancement and financial independence are secondary while for men, the opposite is true. A corporate culture requiring total devotion from all employees, combined with cultural gender norms, ultimately sets the standard for certain workplace behaviors to be seen as worthy of reward.  It has led to the idea of the ideal worker as a present and always available. This model wasn't designed by or for women and it wasn't designed for today's workforce. There have been many initiatives over the past couple of decades in the workforce aimed at advancing women that have helped when it comes to getting us to the middle, but the extreme work model looms over us creating a barrier to those top positions. We have to keep this discussion on the forefront because this model doesn't work for women and even if it is working for men's advancement.  it isn't what most men want anymore.  If it is just women pushing back, it won't change – we need men to also push back because we know it will be better for all of us. This discussion is all about a mindset shift. We need to ditch the idea that being present and available all the time equals the ideal worker because what it really equals is dissatisfaction, burnout, and a general lack of wellness and happiness. Reference DeSimone, K. (2021). Women perceive barriers to corporate advancement as self-imposed. Advancing Women in Leadership Journal, 40(1), 99-107. Shipman, C., & Kay, K. (2010). Womenomics: Work less, achieve more, live better. New York, NY: Harper. Previous Podcasts Referenced in This Episode: Gender Equity = Win-Win https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/gender-equity-win-win/id1569849100?i=1000621456781 The Meritocracy Myth https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-meritocracy-myth/id1569849100?i=1000542761335 Dad's Don't Babysit, It's Called Parenting https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dads-dont-babysit-its-called-parenting/id1569849100?i=1000557163813 For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/  https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

This episode focuses on evidence-based, positive outcomes of gender equity for everyone, men, women, children, businesses, and even nations. A more gender-egalitarian future is one that can improve our lives. It's a future with a higher potential for more happiness and satisfaction, reduced stress, better health, better marriages, stronger families, and more successful and profitable companies. Research shows conclusively that the more gender equitable an organization is, the better outcomes are for ALL employees when measured against a host of key indicators from job satisfaction to lower turnover to better recruiting to higher rates of creativity and productivity. So…instead of thinking about what gender equality  is going to cost (win-lose) we need to start thinking about what gender inequality is already costing us, less happiness, less wellness,  less life satisfaction, and less abundance Gender equity is about more abundance for all (win-win!) A rising tide lifts all boats, and we can benefit and thrive in a world where we are all afforded our own "pursuit of happiness" unhindered by discriminatory policies, prescriptive social constructs, and gender stereotypes and biases. Let's talk about how we get there in this week's episode of the Advancing Women Podcast. #genderequity #genderequality #hapiness #abundance #worklifebalance References Audette, A.P., Lam, S., O'Connor, H. et al. (E)Quality of Life: A Cross-National Analysis of the Effect of Gender Equality on Life Satisfaction. J Happiness Stud 20, 2173–2188 (2019). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-018-0042-8 Michael Kimmel: Why gender equality is good for everyone – men included TEDWomen https://www.ted.com/talks/michael_kimmel_why_gender_equality_is_good_for_everyone_men_included?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare Caroline Strachan: Why gender equality is not just about women TEDxFolkestone https://youtu.be/a4WuurpnSbc  The Invisible Rules: What's Really Holding Women Back in Business—and How to Fix It (2021) by Holly Catalfamo (Author), Paul Harrietha (Author) For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Research shows that expectations can be a major cause of stress, anxiety, and loss of trust and respect in our relationships. This episode challenges the too-common narrative that it is women's “too high expectations” that cause many of our problems. I introduce a more accurate narrative that serves women by distinguishing expectations(grounded in social norms and stereotypes) from requirements and standards(grounded in our self-esteem and self-care.)  The real questions we should be asking ourselves as women is not are my expectations and standards too high, but rather, what do I require in my relationships, and why? It is not only acceptable but advisable and healthy to have requirements around how you want or need to be interacted with and treated.  #tunein and prepare for a mindset shift from expectations to requirements that not only sheds light on the real issue but also interrupts the blame placed on our shoulders so you never feel again that you must lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.  Advancing Women Podcast Episodes Referenced in this Episode:  Young Men are Opting Out of Marriage and Relationships. Should we Care? (March 2023).  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/young-men-are-opting-out-of-marriage-and/id1569849100?i=1000604015537 Comparison is the Thief of Joy (May 2023) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy/id1569849100?i=1000612238713 Learn more about The 4 Ps Advancement Model for Women https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast  https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/  https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/  https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/