Podcasts about worldbuilders

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Play Episode Listen Later Jul 22, 2024 48:23

Creation Corner: It's said that a picture is worth a thousand words. Maps are a cornerstone of fantasy settings, and they can be useful tools for building worlds. In this episode, we talk with Pat (@mountain_foot on Twitter, @pate on Discord), a Stacker and dungeon cartographer who creates and uses maps extensively in his own gaming work. Join us for a fascinating talk about how to use maps to build game worlds! In our talk, Pat mentions several resources of interest. If you're interested in doing more with maps, be sure to check out: The Ammassalik maps - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ammassalik_wooden_maps Cyclic Dungeon Generation - https://sersavictory.itch.io/cyclic-dungeon-generation One of Pat's node maps and notes for an adventure in his AD&D campaign - https://docs.google.com/document/d/12l674bqBUsZir9nMNkGh6PZl_42TlO7541twfT4mv7I/edit?usp=sharing He also posts many of his maps at https://www.patreon.com/mountainfoot, where almost all of it is available for free. ----- If you're interested in continuing the conversation, you can send your thoughts our way on Twitter, Instagram, or through our Discord server. Finally, we invite you to join our family friendly Discord server! Please check us out at https://discord.com/invite/sUUJp78r3E. ----- We didn't use any Creative Commons sound effects this time, but we still like to give credit to freesound.org, a fantastic resource for completely free sound effects. We also did not use some any Battlebards sound effects, but check them out at battlebards.com. If you sign up for a Prime account, be sure to use our special code, stack, and you'll get a 20% discount on your subscription. And now, on with the show-- we're excited to tell a story with you.

Creation Corner: Worldbuilders with Maxsun

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Play Episode Listen Later May 27, 2024 23:42

Creation Corner: Hungry for more worldbuilding ideas? Today we get to speak with our youngest Worldbuilder yet. Maxsun wrote us a glowing review that we read in a recent episode. In this episode we sit down with him to talk about his own creative endeavors, and what he has in store for some lucky gamers. There's some neat ideas to dig into in this one! ----- If you're interested in continuing the conversation, you can send your thoughts our way on Twitter, Instagram, or through our Discord server. Finally, we invite you to join our family friendly Discord server! Please check us out at https://discord.com/invite/sUUJp78r3E. ----- We didn't use any Creative Commons sound effects this time, but we still like to give credit to freesound.org, a fantastic resource for completely free sound effects. We also did not use some any Battlebards sound effects, but check them out at battlebards.com. If you sign up for a Prime account, be sure to use our special code, stack, and you'll get a 20% discount on your subscription. And now, on with the show-- we're excited to tell a story with you.

Creation Corner: Worldbuilders with Josh

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Play Episode Listen Later Apr 29, 2024 29:40

Creation Corner: Hungry for more worldbuilding ideas? Joining us today is Josh Pinkerton, sometime guest DM and player on the Tales from the Glass-Guarded World podcast. In today's episode we talk about managing the precarious balance of creating new story in an existing world. Josh has done this with great skill in his appearances, and we talk about the how of it all. During this episode: Josh mentions a website that has inspired his past work: The Alexandrian, a site dedicated to retooling existing adventures to make them run more smoothly. Both Josh and Rhett appear in a current release on the Tales from the Glass-Guarded World feed, in which we playtest a rules revision of the Star Frontiers system published by TSR in the 80s. Check it out for some sci fi hijinks! To listen to Josh's notable guest DM appearance, you'll want to follow his Paxton and the Rug Buds series, which begins here. As a warning, you'll probably want to listen to the previous story in order, since these episodes build upon established events. It's well worth the listen! If you're interested in continuing the conversation, you can send your thoughts our way on Twitter, Instagram, or through our Discord server. Finally, we invite you to join our family friendly Discord server! Please check us out at https://discord.com/invite/sUUJp78r3E. ----- We didn't use any Creative Commons sound effects this time, but we still like to give credit to freesound.org, a fantastic resource for completely free sound effects. We also did not use some any Battlebards sound effects, but check them out at battlebards.com. If you sign up for a Prime account, be sure to use our special code, stack, and you'll get a 20% discount on your subscription. And now, on with the show-- we're excited to tell a story with you.

2d20 WorldBuilders Program Year One Review

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Play Episode Listen Later Apr 24, 2024 59:59

Herein we discuss Modiphius' community publishing program, available on DriveThruRPG, based on our own experiences and survey results from other content creators who've published various full games under the license. WB Program Homepage: https://preview.drivethrurpg.com/en/publisher/4329/modiphius/category/44299/2d20-world-builders Join our friendly Discord: https://discord.gg/5AtydRUDjX Subscribe on to our podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/fluffncrunch Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@fluffncrunchpod Subscribe to our email list: https://forms.gle/VaFtxXjkzRSqwFi39 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/fluffncrunch/message

Creation Corner: Worldbuilders, featuring Pavel

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Play Episode Listen Later Apr 1, 2024 29:39

Creation Corner: Hungry for more worldbuilding ideas? Then you're going to love our conversation with Pavel, who dove into our podcast after learning about it in another Discord server. He brings a lot of passion and some intriguing ideas for a new world--Scrollworld--that will take greater shape in an upcoming podcast. There's a lot to think about, and we hope you'll enjoy the conversation! Find out more about Scrollworld on Pavel's page, and of course he wants to credit the source of the idea, which appeared in this Reddit post. If you're interested in continuing the conversation, you can send your thoughts our way on Twitter, Instagram, or through our Discord server. Finally, we invite you to join our family friendly Discord server! Please check us out at https://discord.com/invite/sUUJp78r3E. ----- We didn't use any Creative Commons sound effects this time, but we still like to give credit to freesound.org, a fantastic resource for completely free sound effects. We also did not use some any Battlebards sound effects, but check them out at battlebards.com. If you sign up for a Prime account, be sure to use our special code, stack, and you'll get a 20% discount on your subscription. And now, on with the show-- we're excited to tell a story with you.

MOCA LIVE: An Entirely New AI Art-Form, Technocrats vs. the Treehuggers, and Artists Becoming Worldbuilders, with Aleqth

MOCA LIVE

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 23, 2024 56:30

This week's MOCA LIVE is a revelation about all things AI. Max and his guest, the artist and Makingit24/7 member Aleqth, explore a unique perspective on the philosophy, subtleties, and possibilities of AI artistry. From marketplaces for custom-designed datasets and the unstoppable proliferation of symbols, to the evolution of artists into worldbuilders, and the coming politicization between AI technocrats and technology naysayers, this is a madcap, jam-packed episode. It's an early 2024 highlight.

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115

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 27:39

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet Cause what's the difference

god jesus christ music time power man mother pr dj dance left holy public dad drop event wife dead original grammy hotels poor iran run nazis hearts phone wake ufos beyonce stuck hits negative act happy birthday millions cat michael jackson throw trash lol souls complex fuck window jail sleeping powers retreat lower twelve squad pi explain bitch contracts careful jumping sad void ev djs copyright pages mad permanent perform ridiculous destroyed turnaround spiders pay attention bro socks ve trance met gala bluetooth orion sends voodoo mm sir dimensions pornhub jimmy fallon technically directions bad things miserable cosmo welp dang santa clause umbrella staring hm charlie sheen ran tits skrillex night shift fore oh god bruh mmm ew permanently oh my god copycat valet deadmau5 music production goddamn stfu flip flops metadata yah class action ummm fucked up i won sweetie hehe expansions moo og h dillon francis in god we trust motherfuckers hah christian nation chel r u ok aww heh unh enders on time busses yeah right gimmie deadass hot hot scary monsters fuck it mmhmm party party rezz yuh it does what have you done what the fuck hahah are you happy oh good what have i done worldbuilders admit it yeahhhhh first of all my dj drop the bass sweet brown nice sprites lvac faque to where

BLESSED.

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 102:51

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet Nothin.

god jesus christ music time power man mother pr dj dance left holy public dad drop event wife dead blessed original grammy hotels poor iran run nazis hearts phone wake ufos beyonce stuck hits negative act happy birthday millions cat michael jackson throw trash lol souls complex fuck window jail sleeping powers retreat lower twelve squad pi explain bitch contracts careful jumping sad void ev djs copyright pages mad permanent perform ridiculous destroyed turnaround spiders pay attention bro socks ve trance met gala bluetooth orion sends voodoo mm sir dimensions pornhub jimmy fallon technically directions bad things miserable cosmo welp dang santa clause umbrella staring hm charlie sheen ran tits skrillex night shift fore oh god bruh mmm ew permanently oh my god copycat valet deadmau5 music production goddamn stfu flip flops metadata yah class action ummm fucked up i won sweetie hehe expansions moo og h dillon francis in god we trust motherfuckers hah christian nation chel aww r u ok heh unh enders on time busses yeah right gimmie deadass hot hot scary monsters fuck it mmhmm party party rezz it does yuh what have you done what the fuck hahah are you happy oh good what have i done worldbuilders admit it yeahhhhh first of all my dj drop the bass sweet brown nice sprites lvac faque to where

Story Mix 3- [The “Two and a Half” Mix]

The Legend of S Ū P ∆ C Я E E ™

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 25:28

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet *coughing* hate .

god jesus christ music time power man mother pr dj dance left holy public dad drop event wife dead original grammy hotels poor iran run nazis hearts phone wake ufos beyonce stuck hits negative act happy birthday millions cat michael jackson throw trash lol souls complex fuck window jail sleeping powers retreat lower twelve squad pi explain bitch contracts careful jumping sad void ev djs copyright pages mad permanent perform ridiculous destroyed turnaround spiders pay attention bro socks ve trance met gala bluetooth wallet orion sends voodoo mm sir dimensions pornhub jimmy fallon technically directions bad things miserable cosmo welp dang santa clause umbrella staring hm charlie sheen ran tits skrillex night shift fore oh god bruh mmm ew permanently oh my god copycat valet deadmau5 music production goddamn stfu flip flops metadata yah class action ummm fucked up i won sweetie hehe expansions moo og h dillon francis in god we trust motherfuckers hah christian nation chel aww r u ok heh unh enders on time busses yeah right gimmie deadass hot hot scary monsters fuck it mmhmm party party rezz it does yuh what have you done what the fuck hahah are you happy oh good what have i done worldbuilders admit it yeahhhhh first of all my dj drop the bass sweet brown nice sprites lvac faque to where

BLESSED.

[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 102:51

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet

god jesus christ music time power man mother pr dj dance left holy public dad drop event wife dead blessed original grammy hotels poor iran run nazis hearts phone wake ufos beyonce stuck hits negative act happy birthday millions cat michael jackson throw trash lol souls complex fuck window jail sleeping powers retreat lower twelve squad pi explain bitch contracts careful jumping sad void ev djs copyright pages mad permanent perform ridiculous destroyed turnaround spiders pay attention bro socks ve trance met gala bluetooth wallet orion sends voodoo mm sir dimensions pornhub jimmy fallon technically directions bad things miserable cosmo welp dang santa clause umbrella staring hm charlie sheen ran tits skrillex night shift fore oh god bruh mmm ew permanently oh my god copycat valet deadmau5 music production goddamn stfu flip flops metadata yah class action ummm fucked up i won sweetie hehe expansions moo og h dillon francis in god we trust motherfuckers hah christian nation chel aww r u ok heh unh enders on time busses yeah right gimmie deadass hot hot scary monsters fuck it mmhmm party party rezz it does yuh what the fuck what have you done hahah are you happy oh good what have i done worldbuilders admit it yeahhhhh first of all my dj drop the bass sweet brown nice sprites lvac faque to where

Story Mix 3 - [The “Two and A Half” Mix]

[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 25:28

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet

god jesus christ music time power man mother pr dj dance left holy public dad drop event wife dead original grammy hotels poor iran run nazis hearts phone wake ufos beyonce stuck hits negative act happy birthday millions cat michael jackson throw trash lol souls complex fuck window jail sleeping powers retreat lower twelve squad pi explain bitch contracts careful jumping sad void ev djs copyright pages mad permanent perform ridiculous destroyed turnaround spiders pay attention bro socks ve trance met gala bluetooth wallet orion sends voodoo mm sir dimensions pornhub jimmy fallon technically directions bad things miserable cosmo welp dang santa clause umbrella staring hm charlie sheen ran tits skrillex night shift fore oh god bruh mmm ew permanently oh my god copycat valet deadmau5 music production goddamn stfu flip flops metadata yah class action ummm fucked up i won sweetie hehe expansions moo og h dillon francis in god we trust motherfuckers hah christian nation chel aww r u ok heh unh enders on time busses yeah right gimmie deadass hot hot scary monsters fuck it mmhmm party party rezz it does yuh what have you done what the fuck hahah are you happy oh good what have i done worldbuilders admit it yeahhhhh first of all my dj drop the bass sweet brown nice sprites lvac faque to where

BLESSED.

Gerald’s World.

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 102:51

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet

god jesus christ music time power man mother pr dj dance left holy public dad drop event wife dead blessed original grammy hotels poor iran run nazis hearts phone wake ufos beyonce stuck hits negative act happy birthday millions cat michael jackson throw trash lol souls complex fuck window jail sleeping powers retreat lower twelve squad pi explain bitch contracts careful jumping sad void ev djs copyright pages mad permanent perform ridiculous destroyed turnaround spiders pay attention bro socks ve trance met gala bluetooth wallet orion sends voodoo mm sir dimensions pornhub jimmy fallon technically directions bad things miserable cosmo welp dang santa clause umbrella staring hm charlie sheen ran tits skrillex night shift fore oh god bruh mmm ew permanently oh my god copycat valet deadmau5 music production goddamn stfu flip flops metadata yah class action ummm fucked up i won sweetie hehe expansions moo og h dillon francis in god we trust motherfuckers hah christian nation chel aww r u ok heh unh enders on time busses yeah right gimmie deadass hot hot scary monsters fuck it mmhmm party party rezz it does yuh what the fuck what have you done hahah are you happy oh good what have i done worldbuilders admit it yeahhhhh first of all my dj drop the bass sweet brown nice sprites lvac faque to where

BLESSED.

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 102:51

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet

god jesus christ music time power man mother pr dj dance left holy public dad drop event wife dead blessed original grammy hotels poor iran run nazis hearts phone wake ufos beyonce stuck hits negative act happy birthday millions cat michael jackson throw trash lol souls complex fuck window jail sleeping powers retreat lower twelve squad pi explain bitch contracts careful jumping sad void ev djs copyright pages mad permanent perform ridiculous destroyed turnaround spiders pay attention bro socks ve trance met gala bluetooth wallet orion sends voodoo mm sir dimensions pornhub jimmy fallon technically directions bad things miserable cosmo welp dang santa clause umbrella staring hm charlie sheen ran tits skrillex night shift fore oh god bruh mmm ew permanently oh my god copycat valet deadmau5 music production goddamn stfu flip flops metadata yah class action ummm fucked up i won sweetie hehe expansions moo og h dillon francis in god we trust motherfuckers hah christian nation chel aww r u ok heh unh enders on time busses yeah right gimmie deadass hot hot scary monsters fuck it mmhmm party party rezz it does yuh what the fuck what have you done hahah are you happy oh good what have i done worldbuilders admit it yeahhhhh first of all my dj drop the bass sweet brown nice sprites lvac faque to where

Story Mix 2 - [The “Two and A Half” Mix]

The Legend of S Ū P ∆ C Я E E ™

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 102:51

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet

god jesus christ music time power man mother pr dj dance left holy public dad drop event wife dead original grammy hotels poor iran run nazis hearts phone wake ufos beyonce stuck hits negative act happy birthday millions cat michael jackson throw trash lol souls complex fuck window jail sleeping powers retreat lower twelve squad pi explain bitch contracts careful jumping sad void ev djs copyright pages mad permanent perform ridiculous destroyed turnaround spiders pay attention bro socks ve trance met gala bluetooth wallet orion sends voodoo mm sir dimensions pornhub jimmy fallon technically directions bad things miserable cosmo welp dang santa clause umbrella staring hm charlie sheen ran tits skrillex night shift fore oh god bruh mmm ew permanently oh my god copycat valet deadmau5 music production goddamn stfu flip flops metadata yah class action ummm fucked up i won sweetie hehe expansions moo og h dillon francis in god we trust motherfuckers hah christian nation chel aww r u ok heh unh enders on time busses yeah right gimmie deadass hot hot scary monsters fuck it mmhmm party party rezz it does yuh what have you done what the fuck hahah are you happy oh good what have i done worldbuilders admit it yeahhhhh first of all my dj drop the bass sweet brown nice sprites lvac faque to where

Story Mix 2- [The “Two and A Half” Mix]

The Legend of S Ū P ∆ C Я E E ™

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 25:28

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet Ah, fuck it.

god jesus christ music time power man mother pr dj dance left holy public dad drop event wife dead original grammy hotels poor iran run nazis hearts phone wake ufos beyonce stuck hits negative act happy birthday millions cat michael jackson throw trash lol souls complex fuck window jail sleeping powers retreat lower twelve squad pi explain bitch contracts careful jumping sad void ev djs copyright pages mad permanent perform ridiculous destroyed turnaround spiders pay attention bro socks ve trance met gala bluetooth orion sends voodoo mm sir dimensions pornhub jimmy fallon technically directions bad things miserable cosmo welp dang santa clause umbrella staring hm charlie sheen ran tits skrillex night shift fore oh god bruh mmm ew permanently oh my god copycat valet deadmau5 music production goddamn stfu flip flops metadata yah class action ummm fucked up i won sweetie hehe expansions moo og h dillon francis in god we trust motherfuckers hah christian nation chel r u ok aww heh unh enders on time busses yeah right gimmie deadass hot hot scary monsters fuck it mmhmm party party rezz yuh it does what have you done what the fuck hahah are you happy oh good what have i done worldbuilders admit it yeahhhhh first of all my dj drop the bass sweet brown nice sprites lvac faque to where

#051 - Nathan Baugh on Storytelling, World Building, Fiction, & The Internet

Audience of One

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 24, 2024 66:58

Nathan Baugh writes fiction and the World Builders newsletter. We talk about writing, non-fiction vs. fiction, storytelling and world building devices, Kurt Vonnegut and other authors, getting the most out of technology and the internet, and more. — (00:47) Why writing (02:46) Loops & closing the curiosity gap (04:05) The combination of short form non-fiction & long form fiction (09:54) Storytelling & world building; Virgil Abloh's 3% Rule (14:30) Tradeoffs of traditional publishing vs. self-publishing; going direct-to-audience (21:54) Tech and magic; AI (28:26) His most influential authors (31:08) Favorite opening sentences (34:25) Vonnuget's shape of stories & promise, progress, payoff (49:11) Why not go all in on fiction? (44:41) Writer's self limiting beliefs (52:54) Biggest fear as a writer: not living up to expectations (55:33) Balancing technology and the internet with deep work (59:58) What's one work of fiction that has stuck out? — Nathan's Twitter: https://twitter.com/nathanbaugh27 Nathan's Newsletter: https://www.worldbuilders.ai/ Vonnegut's Shape of Stories: youtu.be/oP3c1h8v2ZQ Spencer's Twitter: https://twitter.com/SP1NS1R Spencer's Blog: https://spencerkier.substack.com

stories ai internet tech writer blog storytelling balancing shape fiction newsletter worldbuilding loops kurt vonnegut virgil abloh tradeoffs baugh vonnegut worldbuilders

Better World Builders - Mark Lee

Connecting Communities: Kalamazoo Earth Day

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 17, 2024 57:16

It is COLD outside! Especially if you live in an older house, you can spend a frustrating amount of time, money, and resources on trying to address that. You may have even gotten to the point of considering major construction or a new build. But construction and demolition is one of the largest contributors to waste globally. Mark Lee brings another perspective to tackling that ongoing stressor, while being environmentally responsible. Mark's commitment to the environment is part of the business model of his company, Better World Builders.

cold better world mark lee worldbuilders

Jay Watson & Kyle Wiltshire - friends, writers, world builders

Set Lusting Bruce: The Springsteen Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2023 75:06

What if Elvis, Buddy and Janis didn't die. What if they faked their death for a greater purpose? What if there is a universe where Kurt, Jimi & John are not part of Rock n' Roll Heaven. That is the premise of Jay and Kyle's new book - The Dead Rock Stars. They join me today to talk about their friendship, their partnership and their hopes about the book and the universe it has created. Find the book here - https://www.deadrockstarsbook.com/ Follow them here on X aka Twitter @DRSbook and their Facebook page is here https://www.facebook.com/thedeadrockstarsbook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

friends rock elvis writers buddy jimi wiltshire worldbuilders jay watson dead rock stars roll heaven

Matt Wolf makes documentaries that spotlight world-builders and risk-takers

Pretty Heady Stuff

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 17, 2023 36:35

Matt Wolf is a filmmaker from New York whose critically acclaimed documentary films have been shown across the globe. (https://www.criterionchannel.com/directed-by-matt-wolf) Wild Combination does a deep dive into the life and music of Arthur Russell, Teenage is a study of early youth culture and the birth of the very idea of teenagers, Recorder is an invaluable portrait of the activist and archivist Marion Stokes, who secretly recorded broadcast television continuously,24 hours a day, for 30 years. Spaceship Earth is a film about Biosphere 2, the experiment from the early 90s where 8 people lived inside a fully contained biome cut off, or seemingly cut off, from the rest of the world. He also recently worked on an incredible film called The Stroll as a producer; that film explores the history of New York's Meatpacking District from the perspective of the transgender sex workers who lived and worked there. Wolf has a way of effortlessly expanding the parameters of documentary. I say “effortlessly,” but if you listen to this conversation you can tell that there is a great deal of effort put into making sure that viewers of Matt's films feel an emotional connection to what they're watching, while also being presented with a set of subtle questions about art, the biosphere, the ways that media manufacture social reality, and many other subjects. More and more, though, he's looking for ways to work creatively within the conventions of documentary filmmaking, rather than working to “explode” those defining characteristics. All of this comes through on the screen. There are a few threads in this conversation that are worth underlining. Wolf is deeply interested in exploring the lives of people who take enormous risks with what they are attempting to create, risks that might not pay off in the long run or that influence their capacity to relate to the rest of the world. The way he puts it is that his films are concerned with subjects that weren't entirely able “to translate the full scope of what they were doing to others.” That makes their work difficult and rewarding, and deserving of “reappraisal.” For example, Wolf made his documentary Wild Combination, on the life and work and impact of the cult cellist and disco producer Arthur Russell, at age 25. This is particularly surprising when you actually sit down with the film; you'd assume that this is a director at the top of his game; but, in reality, Matt says that, at the time, he was studying this artist, Arthur Russell, as a way of actually learning how to be an artist himself. I really appreciated how open Matt was in this conversation about his attachment to the specific “texture of the past,” as he put it, and his desire to tell stories in a way that doesn't intrude on the viewer's interpretation of the material. He explains how Spaceship Earth, his brilliant study of the Biosphere 2 project, was described by some as being a somewhat uncritical film. That lack of critical scrutiny, though, is kind of what makes the film so captivating: Wolf sits back and engages with the folks in his films generously, or, in a sense, unassumingly. I think that generosity pays off in certain ways. It makes the films he creates into acts of reappraisal that encourage connection.

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2d20 World Builders Games Review

games discord depths mermaids ashland sentience world builder worldbuilders 2d20

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2023 53:06

Herein we review - with the authors' blessing - three full games published in the 2d20 World Builder's program: Ashland, Mermaids of the Depths, and Sentience. Join the conversation on Discord: https://discord.gg/5AtydRUDjX --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/fluffncrunch/message

Tarrasque (Part 2)

Kill Every Monster

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2023 45:31

The Monster Manual describes the Tarrasque as a “fifty feet tall and seventy feet long behemoth, weighing hundreds of tons. It carries itself like a bird of prey, leaning forward and using its powerful lashing tail for balance. Its cavernous maw yawns wide enough to swallow all but the largest creatures, and so great is its hunger that it can devour the populations of whole towns.” We are joined by Harli Kane. Harli—whose pronouns are she/they—is a performer, cosplayer, streamer, TTRPG aficionado, dungeon master, dice fairy, and Brandon Sanderson superfan. She's best known as Luos on The World's Guild, Kayori on Creative Crits, Nezetta on Worldbuilders, and Leo in various other one-shots and stories. CAST Dylan Malenfant: Co-producer, Gamemaster Aram Vartian: Co-producer, Editor MUSIC "A Truly Powerful Force" by NC Music "Capital City" by Stephane Lorello "Epic Cinematic" by Scott Holmes "Visum" by Kai Engel "Seeker" by Kai Engel "Griffinport" by Novak Cuic "Low Horizon" by Kai Engel COMMUNITY Discord TikTok Twitter Reddit Instagram Facebook Kill Every Monster is a 5th Edition Dungeons and Dragons podcast. In each episode, we are joined by a guest to discuss the lore, mechanics, and story potential of classic D&D creatures. We debate tactics for maximizing these creatures in your game, and we ask the ever-important question: are they really a monster? Send us your questions for a future mailbag episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

world guild ttrpg brandon sanderson monster manual tarrasque worldbuilders

Andrea Bartz: How To Become A More Powerful Storyteller

Everybody Pulls The Tarp

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 22, 2023 38:49

Andrew talks with New York Times bestselling author Andrea Bartz. In 2021, Andrea's thriller novel We Were Never Here became an instant New York Times bestseller & a Reese Witherspoon Book Club pick. Andrew is also joined this week by special guest co-host Nathan Baugh who studies the world's best storytellers & tweets about it to over 220,000 people every day. Nathan also writes World Builders, an email newsletter about storytelling that he sends to over 60,000 people each week. In this conversation, Andrew & Nathan ask Andrea about her new book The Spare Room—and explore the secrets behind her creative process. You'll learn how to capture new ideas, overcome creative doubt, & shape stories that resonate deeply with others. This episode will help you develop your craft as a storyteller—a powerful skill critical to forming deeper connections with others and communicating ideas that stand the test of time.Show Highlights:(2:40) - Writing stories as a child(5:28) - Imitating writers you enjoy(6:22) - Studying journalism in college(7:58) - Pursuing a new career after layoff(10:12) - Sunk cost fallacy(10:39) - Learning from others(11:23) - Writing first and refining later(14:02) - Polishing a draft(15:15) - Capturing new ideas(16:40) - Exploring ideas through writing(19:09) - Role of conflict(20:13) - Picking timely topics to write about(26:57) - Improving as a writer(29:08) - Overcoming doubt & intimidation(33:35) - Pursuing new challenges(35:09) - Trying new things** Follow Andrew On Social Media **Twitter: @andrewhmosesInstagram: @AndrewMoses123Sign up for e-mails to keep up with Andrew's podcast at everybodypullsthetarp.com/newsletter

Tarrasque (Part 1)

Kill Every Monster

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 19, 2023 77:58

The Monster Manual describes the Tarrasque as a “fifty feet tall and seventy feet long behemoth, weighing hundreds of tons. It carries itself like a bird of prey, leaning forward and using its powerful lashing tail for balance. Its cavernous maw yawns wide enough to swallow all but the largest creatures, and so great is its hunger that it can devour the populations of whole towns.” We are joined by Harli Kane. Harli—whose pronouns are she/they—is a performer, cosplayer, streamer, TTRPG aficionado, dungeon master, dice fairy, and Brandon Sanderson superfan. She's best known as Luos on The World's Guild, Kayori on Creative Crits, Nezetta on Worldbuilders, and Leo in various other one-shots and stories. CAST Dylan Malenfant: Co-producer, Gamemaster Aram Vartian: Co-producer, Editor MUSIC "A Truly Powerful Force" by NC Music "Capital City" by Stephane Lorello "Downfall" by Kai Engel "Envision" by Kevin MacLeod "Winner Winner" by Kevin MacLeod "Darkness Comes" by Kevin MacLeod "Cylinder Seven" by Chris Zabriskie "Contention" by Kai Engel "Dangerous" by Kevin MacLeod "Epic Unease" by Kevin MacLeod "Dark Alleys" by Kai Engel "Darkness" by Borrtex "Escape" by Kevin MacLeod "Orc Feast" by Mirdautas Vras "Autumn 3 Allegro" by John Harrison with the Wichita State University Chamber Players "Holiday Weasel" by Kevin MacLeod "Anna's Hummingbird" by Kai Engel COMMUNITY Discord TikTok Twitter Reddit Instagram Facebook Kill Every Monster is a 5th Edition Dungeons and Dragons podcast. In each episode, we are joined by a guest to discuss the lore, mechanics, and story potential of classic D&D creatures. We debate tactics for maximizing these creatures in your game, and we ask the ever-important question: are they really a monster? Send us your questions for a future mailbag episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

world guild hummingbirds ttrpg allegro brandon sanderson john harrison monster manual tarrasque worldbuilders

Ahris Fantasy RPG Preview - A 2d20 World Builders Program Project

project discord wb worldbuilders fantasy rpg 2d20

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 26, 2023 66:27

We discuss Jeremy's 2d20 WB effort, Ahris FRPG, which should be out by or in June. Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/5AtydRUDjX --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/fluffncrunch/message

Mark Sullivan: Writing From A Place Of Joy

Everybody Pulls The Tarp

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2023 35:55

This week Andrew talks with #1 New York Times bestselling author Mark Sullivan. Mark is the acclaimed author of 18 novels, including the #1 New York Times bestselling Private series which he writes with James Patterson. Mark is also the author of #1 bestseller Beneath A Scarlet Sky, a novel based upon the true story of Italian teen Pino Lella who rescued Jews from the Nazis during World War II. Andrew is also joined by special guest co-host Nathan Baugh. Nathan studies the world's best storytellers and tweets about it to over 200,000 people every day. He also writes World Builders, an email newsletter about storytelling which he sends to over 50,000 people each week. Andrew and Nathan ask Mark all about his creative process, what he's learned collaborating with James Patterson, and so much more. This conversation is filled with actionable lessons on how to maximize your creativity, organize your ideas, find your voice, and do whatever you do from a place of joy. Show Highlights:(2:42) - Working at Fenway Park(5:13) - Discovering creative ability as a child(8:10) - Impact of teacher on Mark's life(9:30) - Work in investigative journalism (10:37) - Standing out from the crowd(11:33) - Learning to trust your voice (13:31) - Outlining stories(14:27) - Keys to writing great novels(15:05) - Getting to know Pino Lella(17:29) - Researching a story(21:11) - Evolution of writing throughout career(22:47) - Studying with monks(23:05) - Finding joy in your craft(24:26) - Mark's typical day(24:45) - Role of meditation, exercise, & rest(26:25) - Pre-writing routine(31:16) - Lessons from James Patterson(33:44) - Role of rest in creativityCONNECT WITH ANDREW Twitter: @andrewhmosesInstagram: @AndrewMoses123Sign up for e-mails to keep up with Andrew's podcast at everybodypullsthetarp.com/newsletterCONNECT WITH NATHAN Twitter: @nathanbaugh27Join 50,000+ who receive World Builders, Nathan's free email newsletter about storytelling each week

#134: Danny Miranda ⎼ Lessons From Interviewing World Builders

The You Can Too Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2023 58:52

Danny Miranda has found that by striving to get uncomfortable, he can discover what he is capable of. He has taken on challenges such as seventy five hard, sixty minutes of meditation for sixty days, and five days in the woods with no technology. He has also found balance between striving to get uncomfortable and giving himself grace. In todays episode we dive into some of the lessons he's learned through meeting with some of the world builders. Find Danny here: https://twitter.com/heydannymiranda My Links: My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamesbrackiniv/ The Mindful Minute: https://chipper-writer-4912.ck.page/29fea0fd59 1:1 Coaching: https://impaulsivetointentional.carrd.co/

lessons coaching worldbuilders

2d20 World Builders Program, pt2

drive thru worldbuilders 2d20

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2023 29:43

Part 2 of our discussion of the new publishing program, with our hopes and dreams of what people will produce over the short term. Check out the page on DriveThru. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/fluffncrunch/message

5 Dangerous Assumptions That Can Kill Your Crowdfunding Campaign Before It Begins

Crowdfunding Nerds: Kickstarter Marketing For Board Games & Beyond!

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2023 58:44

The Crowdfunding Nerds seek to help you think critically about your game development by pondering 5 dangerous assumptions that can kill your crowdfunding campaign before you even launch. Shownotes 00:04:36 – Open Gaming Licence 00:11:04 – Facebook's Everyone Tag 00:20:45 – Dangerous Assumption Overview 00:21:17 – Failing Before You Begin 00:23:54 – Assumption #1 “People Want This” 00:30:59 – Assumption #1.5 “I Can Do This” 00:36:36 – Assumption #2 “Tons of People Want This” 00:41:46 – Assumption #3 “I Know My Target Market” 00:44:28 – Assumption #4 “I Know Why People Think This Is Awesome” 00:49:23 – Assumption #5 “People Want An Expansion To This” Skyrim Board Game - https://www.modiphius.net/pages/skyrim-the-adventure-game Modiphius 2d20 World Builders - https://www.modiphius.net/pages/2d20worldbuilders An Update on the Open Game License (OGL) - https://www.dndbeyond.com/posts/1423-an-update-on-the-open-game-license-ogl Sankwalkers - https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/goblinzstudio/sandwalkers-a-roguelike-turn-based-exploration-game Gabe Barrett's Playtesting Tips - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=strkQM8P9F4 Crowdfunding Nerds Kickstarter Course - https://course.crowdfundingnerds.com/p/facebook-ads-for-crowdfunding

dangerous assumptions assumption crowdfunding campaign worldbuilders

Special Episode - The First Releases for the 2d20 World Builders program on DriveThruRPG

releases drivethrurpg worldbuilders 2d20

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 19, 2023 39:42

Chris and I discuss the first few releases for the new community publishing program...two of which come from us. Go here to take a look. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/fluffncrunch/message

Modiphius' 2d20 Worldbuilders Program, pt1

wb modiphius worldbuilders 2d20

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2023 36:42

Herein we discuss the details of the WB program from Modiphius and discuss some of the early possibilities and our hopes and expectations for the program. In part 2 we'll talk in detail about our plans. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/fluffncrunch/message

World Builders

SPEAK

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 22, 2022 29:01

In this last episode of Season 2 of SPEAK, Rachel and Fin invite guests to talk about the role of H'Art/BEING Studio in Ontario over the past 20 years. They talk to professor Michael Orsini (University of Ottawa) about the changes in disability rights since the beginning of BEING. Professor Eliza Chandler (Ryerson University) also talks about the importance of having access to a disability arts archive. You will also hear the voice of Bucko, whom you might recognize as one of the musicians that partnered with SPEAK this season. Bucko and Fin talk about what “disability arts” mean to them and how making art as a disabled person is very complex. Music for this episode by King Kimbit

music speak ontario ottawa fin bucko worldbuilders

-Ū.

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 26, 2022 21:54

____ I guess it just is what it is, then Comin fresh out the whip, like, “I'm off hiatus” Gonna jump for a swim in the ‘bitch,' Itchin drive me crazy; Gonna need 6-10 stitches, the doctor say He's in big business, with the witch Tengris– Gotta play Tennis while I watch Tenet all in ten minutes (On my small engine/indjun) Turn around do a spin, drift like i'm Ben Ten, And it's intense, like I been campin, –Then I ditched Skrillex. Just moved in, but it's been lived in Set some new intentions, Get bent, got some new addictions, spin zen, got some new additions Big Wig like I'm Hamilton in some New Editions Did some big mentions, I should send dick pics. Watch this. “It's Dillon Francis” Now I'm real famous, But i'm still nameless– I just made the game up, Still got jealous haters *coughs* I should say Gel-ous Cause she got her nails did *indjun; American slang for native or indigenous peoples of Northern America. [THE FESTIVAL PROJECT.] _________ [Three cross dimensions are about to collide into a singular reality. Three hospital rooms, three ensembles, three patients on their deathbeds;] Three Cities, Three Main Stages At Three Major Music Festivals. Three superstar DJs at the decks. Did we make it? Is it too late? Is she gone? Where is she? Are you serious? We're never gonna make it. NO! 3 dimensions: Wait, what happened? 3 dimensions: Wait, what happened? "Are you okay?" This isn't happening. Do we have time? Never say Never. -We'll never make it -Don't say that! Are you ready? Yo, where IS she? He's like, crazy or something. She's crazy. This is craaaaazy. Ok, first of all-- Go! Go! Go, now! -So, she already told you beforehand? -Yes. NO! YES! YAAAAAAS. All dimensions: No/NO NO, OH GOD NO-- "YES, OH MY GOD" (sampled) (What?) "JESUS." (Sampled from, Coffee Run) (What?) Don't-- What are you doing here? (Angrily) Ū!!!! It's YOU! A group dancing to Soulja Boy (Youuuuuuuu!) (Rollercoaster sample from Scatta) I don't know, he's been, you know-- -Did you know? -No… -DID YOU KNOW? Know what? What? What is what? (From Deathbed) ...Water… Surprised reactions, at the bedside -Run! -How much time do we have? -Take all the time you need. Time...Ah, yes, I--yes, I remember Time... She says it all the time, I didn't think she'd actually– He's gone. She died, right? ------------ "Running Out Of Time" [Frazzled and haggardly beaten, having exhausted everything attempting to unravel an endless web of timelines tied together ultimately by inevitability, he frantically rifles through his apartment, tearing through every corner, fiending for any energy source. He uplifts the couch cushions, tossing away various (insert easter eggs here) objects, empty portal guns, as the vibrations from a buzzing phone alert him of an incoming call, he fishes armpit deep into the crevices, red faced and cracked lips, cursing: --c'mon, c'mon--how did this get so fucking DEEP. God DAMN IT-- ------ By Chak Chel's bedside, The Ascended Masters are gathered surrounding a weak and lifeless GOD/Chak Chel in her absolutely oldest physical body. Oh man, I don't think she can handle many more of these Damnations, it's just more and more damage… I told you we should have Destroyed that damn planet! She created that planet-- It's not about the planet, it's the inhabitants. If we annihilate humanity now, the planet itself may regenerate with time… Time…? I-- They all turn their heads toward Chak Chel, as she drifts back out of consciousness. PAUSE *EDIT* What? Just– What!? What would it be like to listen to some Skrillex right now? NO. NEVER AGAIN. [Thinking, drifts away.] *listening to deadmau5, thinking about Skrillex* Hmnnn. Moar Ghosts N' Stuff. *Synth Drops In* Nope, I'm Good lol. CUT TO: I told you I could be Joel's cat. Oh, wow, nice. JOEL NO, MEOWINGTONS, NYO !!!!!!!! Meheh. UNPAUSE CUT BACK TO: She's so lost to time... If she succumbs under this darkness, it could be eons before The Light is restored. It may never be. INSOLENT CREATURES! Perhaps we should prepare for invasion. Invasion? They are primitive beings, barely reached the outer realms of consciousness-- We'd be waging an all-out war, on an intergalactic scale; the magnitude of this could ripple through --infinite-- --infinite dimensions-- This is everything. Everything is Everything. Pft. Yeah--until it's nothing-- Oh, yeah--just add to the amount of negative energy-- might as Well just push her into The Void. I'll push you into The Void. Nothing I haven't been through. Yeah, dude, we've all been through The Void. ...I am The Void... I was at THE ASCENSION! Where were you?? (They argue loudly.) [The Crypt Keeper Lurks Silently in the corner.] Guys. [The room is in upheaval, an outroar of arguments have erupted amongst the Gods, the Ascended Masters and other chosen leaders from each realm throughout the multiverse. ] ...Shhht, quiet... [The Crypt Keeper slowly lifts up her staff, in slow motion ] (SUPACREE shakes her head at the crypt keeper, gesturing "no, don't" ) Guys. [As the crypt keeper lowers her staff, SupaCree begins to emit a shining white light.] GUYS! THE CRYPT KEEPER CHARGES HER STAFF INTO THE GROUND, SHAKING THE WORLD WITH A THUNDEROUS FORCE, THREE TIMES. The fabric of the entire multiverse begins to shatter. The room cowers in fear and uncertainty. CHAK CHEL (very weakly) Where's Dillon…he...he should be back by now… Wait, Dillon- Dillon WHO!? Dillon Francis? Wait--what? Dillon Francis, are you serious? Oh, God-- --Shh-- Sorry, I just--seriously--? Dillon Francis. It's always Dillon Francis. Tell me about it, Jesus Christ-- --SHH--!! It's fine, I put the light inside of that one. What light? You put the Divine light of The Source inside of that guy? I'm not a--wait--what light? What's a "Dillon Francis?" We had to hide it. CHAK CHEL Dillon? ...he...he should be here by now,-- I--I have to give him more time… Wow, Dillon Fucking--the whole time– (Tying into the dimension where SupaCree has just divulged that her favorite DJ is Dillon Francis.) That's her apprentice? What! Explains how he's always everywhere, I guess-- Except here. --yeah, where IS he anyway? Yeah, I mean--he should have been here awhile ago. What the fuck does Dillon Francis have to do with anything? I mean really. [The Gods have quietly moved into a secret chamber, hidden from the rest of the–] WHAT THE FUCK. WHO did this? We had to act quickly-- It was a unified decision; DECISION BY WHO? [They fall quiet.] WHOSE idea was it to hide the Divine light of the source within this--this--imperfect and flawed excuse for a body? What genetic catastrophe allowed for this creature to have been created? Her genetic code is what allowed us to be able to-- --THE GODS ARE CREATED IN OUR IMAGE! WHAT TAINTED IMAGE IS THIS? ITS AS IF SATAN CREATED IT, IF SATAN COULD-- ...Satan Sealed The Shield... [The Gods all react in surprise and horror.] ...What… WHAT? You entrusted SATAN with the encryption of The– Not me. Chak Chel. WHAT? ...what? Why would...why would… Why would she trade her immortality for– She sacrificed her connection to The Source? What for? She would sacrifice anything to save humanity from extinction. She...loves that planet, and its inhabitants. She believed in the overall good of humankind, that they could one day come to know Love. To Be Love. She was created and designed specifically to be the embodiment of life and light itself-- The Prophecy (III) [THE ASCENDED MASTERY has assembled, the ensemble shieled by an ‘inpenatrable' invisible forcefield; SUPACREE senses the energy field, Which she walks into, nonchalantly.] She has awakened her consciousness far more quickly than was ever expected-- The Origins Once we send her back, she will have been three times resurrected from Death. How is she to bring these...this planet so drowned in darkness into the light? She can. She will. She has. There have been innumerous witnesses to the manifestations and miracles the power of the light has given her. And she's yet to use the entirety of the Source power to its full potential. Still, these instances of power manifestation have left a shockwave amidst many, even the Prophets, as foretold have discussed a solidified following amongst the alchemists, sorcerer-- --even mortals who have come to practice in the occult sciences-- She has believers. (Uhh...I think it's a cult. What's a cult?) In the dimension where the world has succumb to darkness-- -The Mormons!? -Oh, really? Hm. -Jesus. [Enter Mormon Jesus] In the same reality, Which SUPACREE has been trapped in for nearly a eternity in entirety now, she sits drenched in sweat inside her car, as onlookers from the surrounding affluent neighborhood peer into the vehicle with disgust; she looks much like a crackhead talking to herself; however, Jesus, Neva, Se7en and Goldie's anamorphosis personifications by The Guardian Angels accompany her, Avicii, also omnipresent, but unable to be seen or heard in the material reality, even between The Spirit World, which SUPACREE has journeyed deeply into, in search of Chak Chel--who has consistently been leaving hints in Nature, guiding her eventually into "God" (A Long Drive, With You, Friends) A very Jewish woman sneers, glaring at SUPACREE through the window. Telepathically, very loud and disapproving of here mere presense. (CONT'D) … She just doesn't believe in herself. The Darkness has been working to weaken the potential of The Light for quite some time now. There is an evil in the power of man, darkness in the consumption of currency-- --she's been targeted by her own country as an enemy, which the world powers see as a threat-- --her, a threat--? --she had political ambitions. These men wage war over currency, the hypocrisy of religion. America. She has the ability to be one of the most powerful leaders in human history. She acts instinctively in Love. A target? Her world has been long lost from love, succumbed to the darkness, the primitive error of man. Greed. She has overcome more alienation, more life altering loss of light in just this lifetime than can And, has been raised by the shepherds and priests in the teachings of the great kingdom. She brings herself to Death in despair and sadness. She cannot live with the power of The Source Light in the loss of Love; the pain becomes too great. And now? She's been bestowed by the ancients the wisdom of her true origins. So she knows… She knows that in the absence of Love, there is no Life left to light. Love is the thing that weaves together the fabric of space and time. Reality Is… AH, JESUS CHRIST! SUPACREE appears behind DILLON FRANCIS in the doorway silently. The Bampheramph Line rings, he hopes it is Hanzel--it is Chak Chel--he rolls his eyes, tossing his phone to the side You should probably answer that. DILLON FRANCIS You should probably shut the fuck up, how about that? SUPACREE Relax. I need you to listen to me--remember that thing-- DILLON FRANCIS Which THING? EVERYTHING? Like EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING? Like that!? Huh! SUPACREE ...yes, it's that exactly, actually. DILLON FRANCIS. "Exactly, actually--actually," SUPACREE appears in full form, out of the translucency of the higher realms and into the personification of the third dimensional realm. SUPACREE Come on, dude, we don't have time for this! DILLON FRANCIS Time? What the fuck is time? SUPACREE Come on, Dillon, we really don't have time for this, I'll explain it-- DILLON FRANCIS Explain it when? When you have time? [He turns to see her, standing in the doorway; A simple plain white T shirt and blue jeans.] (gh0st.) SUPACREE I'm trying to tell you, dude. It's time. DILLON FRANCIS Wait, why do you look--wait, which dimension is--whats different about--wait (Sampled "Wait", at the crosswalk) sneakers launch from the sidewalk and into the busy intersection, in a sprint. "Two genres: Hardstyle, and Country." "I don't know what the 3rd world war will be fought with, but the 4th will be with sticks and stones." This begins the battle against "good" and "evil", " darkness" and "light", "life" and "death"--but as the Source, Gods and Ascended Masters all know, that all are one in the same--that these concepts only exist within a primitive human psyche. The collective consciousness of "hybrids", hyper-intellectual "human" individuals with extraterrestrial origins and ancient ancestors, predating the human era (which some distant--even technologically-- advanced beings amongst intelligent civilizations throughout the cosmos infinite galaxies ever expanding throughout the outer realms of the multiverse, all of consciousness "And there is no "all", because infinite means that it has yet to end." *Moving sand (the universe) into a giant space dump truck/space dump.* ...is that all of it? SŪPA and SKRILLEX, after both having been involuntarily flung "around" an infinitely expanding universe, are finally head to head after hunting each other in realms beyond time and space for literal eternities; The peak of their confused fury comes to a face-to-face blowout, to which the likes the Heavens nor the Underworld ever have seen. In dimensions where people are tuning in on multi/interdimensional cable, the audience is glued to their seats. (People in rural areas are going through obscene and ridiculous lengths to get a signal so that they can tune in. ENTER THE MULTIVERSE: RICK AND MORTY MORTY Ohhh, oh shit Rick! I-its that show, with the--uhh, uhhh... RICK Which 'uhh-uhhs', Morty--the big ones, or the little ones? MORTY Uhhh–'Flying Magic DJ Monkey Unicorn Space...Wars...I think. RICK Oh, you mean ‘Space Rave? You mean like, where they're at a rave *belch* in-in-in Space? Or something like that? MORTY No, it's Monkey Flying Magic DJ...Monkey… RICK --You said "monkey" twice-- MORTY (CONT'D) ...Space Wars… RICK I don't know, Morty--last time I allowed myself to participate in a music festival, it got, uh, *coughs* It got pretty deep. Flashback: DILLON PICKLE FRANCIS// PICKLE RICK Flashback Within Flashback :The Hellavator Flashback within Flashback Within Flashback: SŪPA dropping the bass, eliminating RIck and Morty/justin roiland (and Dan Harmon, I guess) from existence in entirety. RICK ...yeah, I uhh. Let-uh-let me see that. [He takes the remote control from morty, switching between the channels. They are all SupaTV original series, eventually skipping past 'Ricky and Mo', an over stereotypically alternate Rick and Morty, where the characters are black. (And features an animated Ricky (from Run Ricky Run) as its main character. RICK [w/MORTY] What the-- MORTY Go back, Rick! Everybody's favorite DJ is about to battle her favorite DJ. RICK --who, what? H-h-holdon-- MORTY, rushing over to the television, hurriedly switches the channel back manually to its original channel, from a dimension where the drama has been documented as a melodramatic soap opera meets gameshow. ANNOUNCER [W/MORTY] DUEL! RICK Duel the wha--oh my God, what is she doing with that chicken wing--? Ū! RICK This is just, brutal-- MORTY That was just a highlight. The boss fight is live. RICK Boss fight... Live--wait a minute--i know that lady! F I G H T. [HANZEL and GRETL are, of course, selling scalped tickets and portal guns to fans who have been following along as the series progresses, They play a 'Deep Deep Deep Bass House' HANZEL (it's a new genre) B2B set, which emits a magical low frequency bass, opening teleportals which immediately transport attendees into the Colosseum, where a furious SONNY/SKRILLEX and a rage-fueled SŪP∆CREE have "randomly" (actually, the result of a carefully planned (and in some dimensions/worlds, failed series of coordinated efforts from various sides, creating wormholes, time gaps, opening (and/or closing) portals with certain intentions, and creating "coincidences" between their two worlds which ultimately expand or collapse the respective universes within the multiverse at their centers. [The festival is in full swing; Behind the scenes, our beloved DJs ready themselves accordingly. ] Everybody's there. (Also, this is where "Everyone's a DJ now" gets really out of control.) *spoiler alert* DJ battle underway. This is the all-out cage match of magic music ninja All the Rave Weaponry. All the Jesus. Everything. The calm before the storm: The theatre and excitement of the largest scale highest production quality and rave culture values ever known to man (or otherwise). A living, breathing ECO system which expands outward, the Colosseum at it's center, where sparkles with the decadence of the Mainstage. Unassumingly, strolling along stage right SKRILLEX sips on a refreshing beverage--surrounded by his entourage and bodyguard, as per the usual. Stage left, SŪPA and her #squad are big chillin', eating lollipops, ice cream cones, popsicles, and cupcakes… super classy. *supaclassy. DILLON FRANCIS lurks nervously in the background. (He's in the background of every scene, in different clothing, Bampheramphing hectically and sweating bullets. *probably on something. In some cut scenes he is in SŪPA's entourage, in drag--eating a taco, or hot wing rather than candy. He is still being flung around the infinite multiverse, both with purpose and intention for each "side", and has become something of a omni-agent, completing tasks within the multiverse for almost every force imaginable (and yet to be imagined, infinitely forever after.) SŪP∆, after being transported through a multilayered wormhole, threaded across the Insomniac (and live nation) festivals and concerts she's attended throughout the years and dimensions. Uncertain of which actual realm and dimension she's ended up in, (obviously, one where her SŪP∆ Brand has become a success, realizing her dreams of becoming a "superstar DJ") without the panel, she must summon her forceful energy and light magic by combining her natural intuitive powers and ancient knowledge insight. She performs various tests within her current reality, as she 'attempts' to recover and pull herself back together, having been only just moments ago cosmically annihilated for a series of infinite eternities, whilst looking for Skrillex. Luckily, she still possesses the Golden Flash drive. It is the final of her array of rave weapons, and by far most powerful. Skrillex is Skrillex. They lock eyes from across the stage. An explosion. -blam- (MIND = BLOWN.) (((throughout the dimensions))) AAARE YOU READY TO RUMBLEEEEEEE TV VIEWERS: nervous/excited/scared/happy/sad MORTY Oh, shit! It's on! It's on! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. HE SEEN HER! HE SEEN HER! *tribal dancing*/chanting* DILLON FRANCIS from center Sees SŪP∆CREE seeing SKRILLEX, squinting in confisiouson (when you think so hard, you momentarily turn into confucius.) She's mad. DILLON FRANCIS Oh--NOOO. He snaps his neck in the opposite direction, to see SKRILLEX seeing SŪP∆CREE, squinting Skrillex-y. (That's extra, extra hard.) He's mad. DILLON FRANCIS OH GOD, NO! He morphs into DILLON GLANCES and DILLON FLANCES, respectively. (3) Wtf is this like a fucked up shadow-clone juitsu? Just– DILLON FRANCIS (To Dillon Glances: giving him the Golden Flash drive) I have to--I gotta--just take th- DILLON GLANCES I can't. DILLON FRANCIS You CAN. DILLON GLANCES I can't. I'm not a DJ. DILLON FRANCIS Everyone's a fucking DJ, DO IT. DILLOn GLANCES Jesus. DILLON FRANCIS: JUST DO IT. [They run off in three seperate directions: DILLON FRANCIS runs to center stage, attempting to prevent the all out massacre of DJ dueling about to take place…] DILLON FLANCES runs into the festival's huge and quickly growing-crowd, as people literally appear out of various portals and wormholes from all over the multiverse. crowds of party goers, exiting them, attempting to open portals to evacuate them to a less fragile timeline. DILLON GLANCES, who is–in fact– not a DJ, a Bampheramph, or time traveler of any sort.. (by any purposeful means, anyway. He " just kind of gets "sucked in to this shit") —eventually crowning him as an Honorary Bampheramph (which people hate, because it's still an extension of Dillon Francis.) —-posing as Dillon Frances, steps up to the decks SKRILLEX and SŪP∆ charge towards each other furiously-- Nobody knows what to do. As they draw closer to each other, radiating in fury and anger, they each explode. SŪP∆: YOÜ. SKRILLEX: YOŪ. They charge forward. BOTH: AHHHHHHHH!!!! An energy field opens; invisible energies take on color and shape in the outer worlds. Reality shifts. yelling. BOTH: WHERES MY MUSIC? BOTH: YOUR MUSIC?! BOTH: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! SKRILLEX: No, who the fuck are youuu! SŪP∆: NO, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? (Simultaneously, to stage managers) SŪP∆: what is HE doing here? SKRILLEX: what is SHE doing here? BOTH: I'M ON THE LINEUP. SŪP∆: Of Course you're on the lineup. SKRILLEX Oh please, How did YOU get on the lineup? DILLON FRANCIS *Appearing out of seemingly nowhere, very out of breath and almost dead, still bleeding from open heart surgery through his shirt, face covered in hot wing sauce* Let me explain… BOTH: DILLON FRANCIS?!? BAMPHERAMPHS: ((From across the stage, viewing with Binoculars.)) …Dillon Francis? —Dillon Francis? What is he doing here? –Ugh, Seriously. Dillon Francis Again? DJ RICH AS FUCK Yo, Fuck Dillon Francis. DILLON FRANCIS Yeah, fuck Dillon Francis. … ...Aren't you Dillon Francis…? DILLON FRANCIS [Pointing at himself, on the stage. No, that's Dillon Francis. They turn to look back at the stage, DILLON FRANCIS vanishes. What the-- SUPACREE/SKRILLEX: (Now with anger directed towards Dillon) What are you doing here? DILLON FRANCIS: *Dazed and confused* Uh--I'm on the lineup. SŪP∆: How? SKRILLEX: Why? DILLON FRANCIS: Jesus Christ, I don't know, ok? Just please don't-- SŪP∆: Don't ‘WHAT Dillon Francis? blast this lil motherfucker out of every kind of fathomable existence with a billion giggatwats of NUCLEAR BASS? ! LIKE, THREE PEOPLE (at least) Giggatwats? DOC BROWN Gooodddamn. [GOD is going mad from all the goddamned goddamns. The Hellavator, hanging by not even a thread, has gone into its final stages of devastation and horror, as it nears taking its eternally damning plunge into the nearly infinite caverns of the underworld, Satan's domain of darkness.] Meanwhile, in multiple other dimensions: Have you seen the lineup? Are we going? We're going. We have to go. RAVEEEEE. Ohhhh shit. No. I'm not going. I have to go! Where are you guys going? PASQUALE: (flashback, daisy overalls.) You guys, where are we going? The brothers are looking through a futuristic digital catalogue of intergalactic raves throughout time and space. Yoooooo. What--you find something? Yoooooo. ...is it good? (Shows the lineup, obscured from view of the camera) FVCK. YAS. All the 'yas' SAUCE. All the sauce. Yo what planet is this even; what dimension is this in, like? Says, Earth. Earth?! No fucking way, earth doesn't have raves in any dimension I've ever heard of. [Coming in from other room.] Where doesn't have raves? Earth. Yo, what the fuck is "Earth." Bet you it's fake. Bet you it's not. Check on it. Google. Google Ūniverse is a holographic multidimensional map of their galaxy's known multiverse. They scroll through eons of galaxies, solar systems, planets, and stars the likes of which make our own galaxy, and our own sun appear to be nothing but specs of dust. Where is it? I don't see it anywhere. I told you it was fake. No. Keep going. Further. Keep going… Are you serious, where is this planet. Are you sure it's a planet? It's gotta be. Dude, there's nothing out here. Keep going. To what. This looks like a black hole ate a black whole. Something like that, what's that there? This puny galaxy? I don't think that's a galaxy. Oh, it is… They all tilt their heads, squinting. ...or.. was… They tilt their heads to the opposite side, squinting. ...or might be, someday. Or something. I don't know man, looks kinda fragile. 'Explore' "The Milkyway Galaxy" Ew. What is it? It's so dark. Well yeah, look at that tiny Sol. There's only...wait how many planets--? It's not much. I don't know man--you wanna go to a rave here? That's… (Shows the advertisement) Oh wow… Looks back at our galaxy, with a discerning consideration, then back at the ad, then back up at the "universe" I don't know man. That's way out there. Like...nowhere, actually. [Scrunched face of disapproval] "Earth." Come on guys. I mean-- (Plays promo) [EDC] DAMN. Aight. OKAY. Woooow. They all look back at the map, worriedly. Zooming in on earth. Mmkayyy. Hmmm. Yeah, this thing looks fragile. Yeah,look at that weird axis. (Wobbles) That can't last too long. This entire universe is on the verge of collapse. How did that...even...happen? The whole thing is like... All: huh. ...if we leave now, we can make it, gates open. Over 20 stages, live art, food-- --FOOD-- ...and...wait, that can't be right. This says "free water" WHAT? FREE WATER? OH WHAT. A RAVE SLASH INVASION? we don't have to invade if they're just giving it away FOR FREE. Free. Water. Psh. Water. It's a trap! Could be. Yeah, Free Water. ...it says...the almost the entire surface of this planet is what? What? That seems dangerous. It's almost entirely water, guys. That's impossible. CUT TO: I TOLD YOU. IN-FIN-ATE. Nothing is impossible. But I thought nothing was nothing. Nothing is nothing. It's also something. And everything. Which is also nothing. But I thought everything was everything. Yes, which includes, and simultaneously also excludes but certainly not limited to, nothing. But when does it end? It...it doesn't, it just (gestures)...infinite. you know? So it just...doesn't… Stop? Yeah. No. It just keeps-- Yeah. Going. --and then nothing. Which is something. Yeah, nothing's something. Then what's something. Something's a something-- Anything. Some-thing. Yeah, but 'some' is just 'some' thing, not everything. Yeah, everything--anything. Anything can be something, and something can be anything. Which-- Which means,nothing's nothing--something can be anything, and anything can be something; which is everything. And-- Nothing. --so-- Infinite. “Once Upon A Dillon Francis” Once Upon a Dillon Francis… AGH. No. Start over. Uh, ok. Once upon a Dillon Francis. Stop saying that. Yuck. Why are you saying that? What? Once Upon a Dillon Francis? That makes Dillon Francis sound like Father Time! Yaghh! Okay? You can't say that. Why? Because he isn't. He could be. But he's not. So? Just. Go back. Okay...Once Upon A Dillon Francis. (Groans) Ok. Stop it. This isn't working. Because you're not letting me even-- No story ever started with Once Upon A Dillon Francis. This one might! If it starts with Dillon Francis, where would it-- Imagination is the key to all creativity. You made that up. I'm making up the whole thing! What does Dillon Francis have to do with anything-- He doesn't. Just listen! I'm not listening to anything that starts with Dillon Francis. Well what would you rather me say, once upon a Skrillex? Now that's more like it! No, it's not. It's just unsettling. It is. You know what! Forget it. There's no story. What, because there's no Dillon Francis? Exactly. What? Because. Ï You... I don't know about this Just keep-- This makes me feel some kind of wha. What kind of way every kind of way-- wait. “Remember Ryan” I do remember Ryan “Fuck Dillon Francis” Rich Nigga Shit. And your shirt. So-- So?! Who the fuck is this guy? He's Dillon Francis. No, who the fuck is he?! Not who-- Huh? What. Whatthefuck-- What? WHAT? Hanzel (& Gretl) are originally from Hell or 'The Dark Side', this gives reasoning to their stoic and sometimes henius mannerisms. Halo by Beyonce is multidimensional (listen, study) This car needs some wheels is about loving yourself (and to learn how to love someone else) "The Skrillex" The Cosmic Owl Chak Chel's Family-- The brothers Bampheramphs --old people -&Sonny/old lady in the park dog walking Rick n roll--dillon pickle Francis/pickle rick roll) (rock n roll) will take you to the the mountain No boys allowed//no Skrillex allowed Wait here. Why can't I just come with you? No boys allowed. Can't you see the sign on the door? What sign on the door? She places a sign on the door. Wait here. But. 5 minutes. Walks in, shutting door behind her. But. Opens sliding window hatch on door, peeking out. I'll be right back. But. A note is shoved backwards through the mail slot, and floats down between his feet. He picks it up to read it; it is a blank sheet of paper. He deflates. Gleeful girly cheers and chatter, laughter and and upbeat music from the other side of the door; an obvious party starts inside. Hours pass, Sonny is falling asleep standing up. He hears 3 women approaching, and excitedly shakes himself awake. He stands to the side, posing. What's up! (They cannot hear or see him. he isn't yet aware of the forcefield placed around him, for his protection (as he is being hunted throughout the universe.) Girl: Dude, I can't believe you know Rezz. Hey! Girl 2: yeah that's sooo cool. Girl: Yeah, VIP. Is like-- Girl: Oh my God, I bet it's like so lit. Girl: So Lit. Girl: Oh my God, yeah. I'm definitely doing VIP next year. Girl: Definitely. Girl: So worth it. Girl: So like, what time does it start-start? Girl: ummm, I don't know, but I think we're like early. Early!? Girl: Should I--oh, hey--im getting a call. It's the other DJ, I think she's inside already. (It's Ū) Girl: Hello? What up Ū! Ū? Hey! Heeeeey! Girl: yeah, we're at the door. Ohhhh shit, for real? Ok. (hangs up) yeah, she said she'll be down here in like, 5 minutes. Apparently the music's bumping, they couldn't even hear us at the door. Psh. 5 minutes yeah right. Girl: daynmm. Girl: yeah, there's like 10 famous DJs in there in there right now. Look at this snapchat I got earlier. Daaaam. Lit. I heard there's gonna be more. Is that Allison Wonderland? Allison Wonderland opens the door. Hi Guys! No way! It is Allison Wonderland! Hey!! Come on in guys! Girl: (closest to Sonny, but walking towards the door) wait, did you guys hear that weird. Girl: kind of, not really Girl: yeah I don't really believe in ghosts, but sometimes-- By now, Sonny has noticed that he hasn't been seen or heard by anyone and assumes his likely invisibility. However Allison Wonderland, being a DJ, has the ability to see through this force field (unbeknownst to him that it even exists.) Sonny stands at the door, staring. She stares back expressionlessly, straight into his soul with indifference of his presence. A brief silence, before Sonny furroughs his brows. She just stares at him. ...wait, can you see me? ...No. She shuts the door. Jack and Jill I'm elessian park You left your sister where Doctors A-Z (doctor p's planet; boogie t distant relative) Scary OWSLA (1000 VOLTS, WESTWOOD) GIANT JOSH PANDA THE SOUL SALESMEN THE CIA/FBI/MEN IN BLACK DONT FUCK WITH TIME (IRL) FROZEN SKRILLEX FOREST FIRE (REZZ) Ralph, Wendy, Denny, Trader Joe Mr moto guy Tips>>>SKRILLEX I thought we were done writing these. I guess not. Get the fuck back, Dillon Francis. Woah, I--okay. JUST STEP BACK. That's a gun! It's a bayonet. That's...where did you even get something like that? I time travel. That...makes sense. It has to. Wenzday. She's pretty. Aren't they all. They are. Maybe her. Anyone but you, huh? How would it ever be me? Still don't believe? How could I ever believe. They're all perfect. And Talented. And white. Can't forget white. And thin. Never forget thin. So why would it ever be me? Maybe it wouldn't. Maybe's a maybe. And a Skrillex is a Skrillex. And Sonny's a Sonny. So-- So, Billie Ellish. My Future. See you in a couple years. Its chasing a wild goose. It's chasing monsters and sprites. It's chasing, but only if you're running. Run, Sunni-- Run Sonny-- Run. This goes around in circles. Goes around like seagulls in the sky. Getter. What did getter do? What did Skrillex do? What does Dillon Francis Have to do with anything? Nothing. Jimmy Fallon --was never nothing-- What does Dillon Francis have to do with anything? Still don't know. What about Pasqualle? Still don't know. And Skrillex? Fuck--I really don't know. Don't you? Alright. What do you know? Commonalities. And? Patterns. And…? Red Cups, Beer Bottles, and Pop-Tarts. What's it look like? A shallow pool of hard liquor. So? So, they can afford alcoholism. You see it that way? I don't see. Don't you? That's the same question twice. It's the same question, infinitely. Who are you? Who am I? Exactly. What's your DJ name? Depends on the day. What's your name, now? I'm Sunni. To replace Sonny? Nothing replaces that. What's in the music? An algorithm--a hidden code, maybe? Maybe. Maybe's still a maybe.[ What are they looking for? A savior? Now you've given yourself a God Complex. As if the world already hadn't. The world had, I just refused to accept it. Until? Until everything. At once, right? And nothing. Why does Annie keep coming up? You must be on her mind. I'm dead to her. Who? Exactly. She thinks you'll make up. Please. She's latna and native. And an alcoholic. So. So she's perfect. So she is. I'm not forgiving her. Again. Maybe you don't have to. If the DJs want her, they can have her. She's a perfect storm of a hoe. Hoes are fun. Until they're not. What are you? A ghost. Why does she keep coming up? I don't know. I've had two dreams about her. She misses you. I could give a fuck. You could? IDGAFOS. Happy Birthday, Dillon Francis. But you won't tell him. His fandom will. I'm done inboxing people. These people live on beaches; I'm a grain of sand. So go find your beach. Viva Mexico. Probably so, huh? Probably. Left in a world without people, realizing she is completely alone, Punishment be ones Paradise, as she enjoys all her favorite places, without the pollution, population or politics in her way. The happiest she's ever been, she approaches EMPTY EDC, still perfectly intact with the gates wide open. She runs inside,losing her mind-- and then losing her enthusiasm entirely, realizing she cannot dance in silence, or operate any of the rides by herself (which, in one dimension higher, she uses the power of the mind to start manifesting all the things she needs,creating a perfect EDC) however, in the most limited dimension, where even manifestation can be fathomed, and no use of magic, she sadly strolls through the empty carnival--though, having found solace in the typically overpriced fashion and merchandice apparel, has ransacked the empty and abandoned shops, looking ridiculously ravey, looking like a 3D insomniac billboard, sparkling with Kandi and shining flashing lights. She approaches the front and center of the rail, her usual favorite, as she looks up at the decks of The BassPod. She just looks, as she sips an acai berry smoothie out of a collectible cup. Cree: You look like a fucked up cupcake. SupaCree: You look like a fucked up cupcake, ate a fucked up cupcake, and then put on a sweater. Cree: Hey man. Fat is Fat. I'm in Infinite Eternity: INFINITE EDC, BITCH. SupaCree: Oh yeah? You like being the fattest fat ass dancing fatass at the everlasting motherfucking fatty fattass fat... dance... Cree: Hmmyeahh--Hows it feel being the lastest-fast-having-last past life past-afterlife--flattest -ass-last-fan-of-DillonFrancis-random-dancing-at-the-lostest-awful-rotten-sauced-forgotten-boss-of-not-a-lot-of-bought-a-bag of -frazzled-skrillex-dicks-you-wish-you-licked-but-didnt-cause-they-wouldnt let you in the the artist tent if you farted in it, in -different-dimensions you were in INFINITE but now you're ISNT-ISNT-ISNT IS THE CLOSEST cause you're not a fucking DJ BITCH, YOURE JUST A WISHIN WASHED UP WISHING WELL YOU'RE STILL FAT!! PPL ALTER EGO I wanna look like her! —oh, that's a guy —well, still. For I am just a shadow of what I once was; And all of a fraction of what I would become, Were it not for love There you are. There I was. Oh, my God. How long was I gone? Long. I'm sorry. No, you're not. Oh shit, that sounds F.U.N… FUN!? FUCK YOU, NIGGA! Oh good, the Dolphin On Wheels is here. "THIS. IS. OWSLAAAAAAA" ARE YOU SERIOUS!? Serious as a Dillon Francis Bampheramph. What even IS that? You're looking at it. ________ NO PANTS! what?! (Takes off pants) HEY! NO PANTS, Dillon Francis! Have a banana. I don't wanna banana! I want pants! NO PANTS. gimmie your hat. (Leaves) It is. An Element. Can... I base... my survival solely on elements--is--the question. That is, actually--as it stands, what we were intended to do--I suppose. Elements. Alchemy. Alchemists. Ahhhh. Those. Ahhh. D-- Hmmm. Mmm. Okay. This is gonna take a long time to work out. What doesssss--- ...Hello… Aha-ahaha... ...What does Dillon Francis have to do with this? I don't know. *laughing in 4 different dimensions* I know, right? *snickers* Well, that's another drop in the Fuck-It Bucket Not that Bucket. [honks] Ahe, Hehehe I didn't-- Actually, I did know that-- I did know that-- I did know that I had two Fuck-It Buckets. I had forgotten... about all the buckets. Just like I almost about the Hellavator. How is that going, by the way. Oh what--the Hellevator--or the Party on the Hellevator? Or the scene...where Hanzel's on the...Hellevator with Dillon Francis? I-- *reacts in 4 different dimensions* Oh, wow. I know! It's gonna take forever. Forever's almost nothing compared to an eternity. Yeah--forever is almost nothing, compared to an eternity. *smacks lips* And then that, motherfucker… FUCK THAT MOTHERFUCKER! Fuck that motherfucker. *sirens sounding* YEP. *blasting magic* Yep. ...yep. This is why we don't need a wand, anymore--because--you see that? Yep. Well, -- you don't see it, Well I mean, that's just part of the joy--you just know. You don't have to see it, you just know. Oh, you mean like... [mimicks ******** ] ..Kinda like that… But…??? Gonna Hit that red dot and never stop What's that--the 4th dimension? Ah, the 4th dimension. The “r” word Yeah, yeah, yeah Like political correctness even matters. The only thing that matters is matter And why have I never been for a Joyride? Last thing I remember, I was having the time of my life... [rifling through things, as Dillon sits down at his desk—he puts on a pair of librarian-like frames, adjusting them to fit at the nose] You don't wear glasses. Uh, I do wear glasses, I am wearing glasses. I just never—you know—thought of you, like— Yeah, well—not all of us are known by our trademark frames. I detect a hint of bitterness. Oh, you can detect that? What device do you have that does that? …...my...senses. Heh, you look like Katey Sagal. I love her. Same. [rifling through papers, doing office things] What's taking so long, Peg? Well, Al, if you must know it's going to take me a minute to get into my ‘Skrillex', it's been awhile. How long's awhile. Hey—you came through my panoramic window demanding Skrillex. Tsh, like it's never happened before. (Or like it's always, never happening) What? Hey—who said that? So how long's this gonna take? I'm gonna need you to exercise patience—that is, if you're familiar with excersise. PATIENCE?! What the fuck is Patience?? Are you done yet? Patience—patience—it's like—it's almost like “patients, like what a doctor has— —oh don't even— *hands up* Not gonna even. … … … Did you— I told you it has been a minute. >>>< >>>>>>> >>>>< What kind of company do you think I keep?! In this installment, which follows Scary Monsters and SupaCree and crosses over into both DILLONCEPTION, and enter the multiverse. Having nearly abandoning the ideal of becoming a superstar DJ, a reality she had previously become certain of, but given up on after being led to believe the DJ world is one ruled by white supremacy, SUPACREE, going by “CC” and operating under the pen name CC stone crafts a somewhat plausible future in entertainment, still creating music under the moniker “Sunni Blu” or DJ U, still passionately attached to Djing, though as a hobby, rather than as a potential career. In a pseudo-suicidal depressive state, our protagonist explores all the infinite realms of her own creation, drifting into a lucid God-Dream in which all the dimensions of her writings exist, in each respective reality, sometimes crossing timelines from one “fictional” realm into another, as the writer struggles with her own self-confidence and self-actualization. We Open With A Blockbuster-Style Movie Trailer. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- CUT TO: Sunni Blu is writing a Movie. —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. ___ Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. Jesus is watching “The Movie” So you swim into a port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what's the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They...don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. [Skrillex ]is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have [Skrillex.} Skrillex. How did you get a [Skrillex?] Just--[Skrillex.] “Just [Skrillex”?] The Original. Oh, shit. The Original [Skrillex.] Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my [Skrillex?] I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my [Skrillex?] Oh what--[Skrillex?] We have [Skrillex!] You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's [Skrillex], isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eight Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? [Over the phone] ...She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing [Skrillex?] He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Black Jack. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no [Skrillex.] PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that [Skrillex?] Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. [Skrillex] has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in [Skrillex.] YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhile. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited [Skrillex.] Limited [Skrillex.] Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo and Wanda are on their way to The Event Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? [Skrillex!] He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! [Skrillex?!] Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! __ Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? SUPACREE I don't know. I can't remember. MORGAN You “don't remember.” DILLON'S ASSISTANT What did you do with that bitch?! DILLON FRANCIS I don't know! I don't remember! DILLON'S ASSISTANT You “don't remember?” [Noone remembers.] Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! ___ SUPACREE Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) JOEL/DEADMAU5 Thanks. SUPACREE You're welcome. JOEL/DEADMAU5 K. SUPACREE So. BOTH YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] JOEL/DEADMAU5 WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU?! SUPACREE I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] JOEL/DEADMAU5 (he opens the box, unseen from the view of the audience) Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. SUPACREE I know dude. JOEL/DEADMAU5 UH-WHO ARE YOU? SUPACREE I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] ___ Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. PRINCE: I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. PRINCE: I'M NOT A MAN. “is [_____________]” a boy or girl PRINCE: I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. DILLON FRANCIS Oh, Jesus Christ. JESUS CHRIST What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? DILLON FRANCIS Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? JESUS CHRIST If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... DILLON FRANCIS (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… JESUS CHRIST Hm? … Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? … *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] GERALD WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! SUPACREE Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! DILLON FRANCIS WHAT HAVE I DONE!? GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? CHAK CHEL Dillon--What have you done. SUPACREE WHAT--DID YOU--DO. DILLON FRANCIS Just...Voodoo. GOD VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) ___ Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? [-creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered.] What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? >RAVE> --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” THE BEATLES Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. ___ MORGAN Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) PAGE You'd never know. SUPACREE ...I knew it... MORGAN What did you do with it? SUPACREE I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. MORGAN Oh, wow. SUPACREE Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. MORGAN That's--wow. PAGE Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. MORGAN You're right. SUPACREE I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [SKRILLEX in shorts.] (She cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. [Skrillex] is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- –right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- __ What is this. __ --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? ___ SIR. SKRILLEX STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? ___ I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? [Skrillex] is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see [Skrillex] last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. ___ I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. Look,This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also, other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. CHINESE WOMAN --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. [pause] I know how to get her here. ___ DUDE ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? SKRILLEX/SUPACREE Look, it's a long story. DUDE Well make it a short one. SKRILLEX/SUPACREE *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. SKRILLEX/SUPACREE So I….dropped the bass, and then… CHINESE WOMAN AND DEN? DUDE —And then? SKRILLEX/SUPACREE And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- DUDE --sideways and forward, at the same time-- SKRILLEX/SUPACREE >>>Yes. It was a lot. ___ Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ To her surprise, some big-time hollywood producers have taken an interest in her script,; Because she has no formal work experience in the industry, she is being “coached” by seasoned industry professionals as the Film Goes into Pre-Production Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with [Skrillex.] [...Skrillex?] What [Skrillex?] It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no [Skrillex.] He is introduced as a character in Act... No, [Skrillex ]isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… [C.C. (a.k.a. ‘Stone' omits page 45 from all of her written works.] “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me s

america god love jesus christ music american time death live movies father power google earth apple mother rock pr moving water space hell online reality deep nature thinking food dj girl tips fun dance left gardens dad satan forever darkness drop event jewish dead gods weird 3d original grammy hotels poor iran stage divine run nazis hearts stone beyonce ufos stuck hamilton hits act wars paradise happy birthday tickets monkeys michael jackson crash throw prophet gotta lol souls plays b2b invasion vip fuck guys window jail sleeping powers imagination wtf retreat lower patterns halo elements twelve ascension bet opens tennis i am squad pi explain prophets bitch punishment infinite mormon roller coasters greed contracts careful jumping void sol ev djs fat walks trains pages sauce nah mad element billie eilish alchemy flashback surprised permanent bucket tenet perform ridiculous destroyed turnaround helicopters spiders alchemists bro socks ve trance met gala spongebob squarepants splash djing rick and morty sends aha cc baldwin voodoo heavens mm rave skinny sir dimensions underworld pornhub uncertain takes jimmy fallon technically directions bad things miserable cosmo int welp morty dang hmmm prostitution santa clause eco shoots lit umbrella gel staring hm charlie sheen tying avicii sticks and stones pop tarts hoes ran guardian angels tits ethos skrillex edc insomniacs s p joyride oh god bruh zooming yuck mmm permanently method man oh my god se7en for free whatcha capone valet deadmau5 music production colosseum goddamn spirit world three times stunned love it stfu lalo flip flops sunni father time class action mainstage ahem frantic did you know fucked up i won pasquale sweetie commonalities ascended masters hehe dan harmon kandi expansions og h neva dillon francis in god we trust tsh motherfuckers yas hardstyle never again hah christian nation chel awww aww r u ok exaggerated ext mind blown heh crypt keeper unh fuck you god complex binoculars getter inhabitants no pants volts three people on time uhh aight yeah right pft alternately deadass hot hot hailey baldwin scary monsters sampled psh mmhmm agh jesus it viva mexico three cities katey sagal rezz free water it does yuh what the fuck yesh space wars hahah god dream are you happy my future bigwig beckys oh good northern america hanzel worldbuilders admit it heeeeey owsla yeahhhhh fvck uhhhhhh hellevator red cups thedarkside first of all ahe matt maeson drop the bass gretl sweet brown apple radio and nothing nice sprites nyo source light allison wonderland to where awwwwwwww

Creation Corner: Worldbuilders, featuring Bryan

discord prime bard bjarke worldbuilders battlebards

Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2022 54:14

Creation Corner: Hungry for more worldbuilding ideas? Then you're going to love our conversation with Bryan Cetroni, who is perhaps better known as Bjarke the Bard. When he's not running games, Bryan serves as a muse for dungeon masters thanks to his advice blog, BjarkeTheBard.com. If you're looking for great advice based on personal experience, you're going to love what Bryan has to share. If you're interested in continuing the conversation, you can send your thoughts our way on Twitter, Instagram, or through our Discord server. Also, you can catch Bryan directly through his account on Twitter, @BryanCetroni. Also in this episode, Bryan mentions some sense-immersion through candles available from @delvecandles. If you're looking for an easy way to set the mood at your gaming table, check out the options at delvecandles.com. Finally, we invite you to join our family friendly Discord server! Please check us out at https://discord.com/invite/sUUJp78r3E. ----- We didn't use any Creative Commons sound effects this time, but we still like to give credit to freesound.org, a fantastic resource for completely free sound effects. We also did not use some any Battlebards sound effects, but check them out at battlebards.com. If you sign up for a Prime account, be sure to use our special code, stack, and you'll get a 20% discount on your subscription. And now, on with the show-- we're excited to tell a story with you.

Creation Corner: Worldbuilders, featuring Mat

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Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2022 38:52

Creation Corner: This week we get a chance to share some time with Worldbuilder Mat, who GMs for a home group when he's not editing for his passion project, the Role Play Chat podcast (https://anchor.fm/roleplaychat). In this episode, we spend time talking about how Mat created and runs a maritime-based pirate campaign, and some fun and unique aspects this style of game introduces. In the episode, Mat mentions several points of inspiration. One of these is the Pirate History podcast (https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-pirate-history-podcast/id1092818618), a go-to for all sorts of great ideas. Finally, we invite you to join our family friendly Discord server! Please check us out at https://discord.com/invite/sUUJp78r3E. ----- We didn't use any Creative Commons sound effects this time, but we still like to give credit to freesound.org, a fantastic resource for completely free sound effects. We also did not use some any Battlebards sound effects, but check them out at battlebards.com. If you sign up for a Prime account, be sure to use our special code, stack, and you'll get a 20% discount on your subscription. And now, on with the show-- we're excited to tell a story with you.

Dillon Francis

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 22, 2022 61:15

I guess it just is what it is, then Comin fresh out the whip, like, “I'm off hiatus” Gonna jump for a swim in the ‘bitch,' Itchin drive me crazy; Gonna need 6-10 stitches, the doctor say He's in big business, with the witch Tengris– Gotta play Tennis while I watch Tenet all in ten minutes (On my small engine/indjun) Turn around do a spin, drift like i'm Ben Ten, And it's intense, like I been campin, –Then I ditched Skrillex. Just moved in, but it's been lived in Set some new intentions, Get bent, got some new addictions, spin zen, got some new additions Big Wig like I'm Hamilton in some New Editions Did some big mentions, I should send dick pics. Watch this. “It's Dillon Francis” Now I'm real famous, But i'm still nameless– I just made the game up, Still got jealous haters *coughs* I should say Gel-ous Cause she got her nails did *indjun; American slang for native or indigenous peoples of Northern America. [THE FESTIVAL PROJECT.] _________ [Three cross dimensions are about to collide into a singular reality. Three hospital rooms, three ensembles, three patients on their deathbeds;] Three Cities, Three Main Stages At Three Major Music Festivals. Three superstar DJs at the decks. Did we make it? Is it too late? Is she gone? Where is she? Are you serious? We're never gonna make it. NO! 3 dimensions: Wait, what happened? 3 dimensions: Wait, what happened? "Are you okay?" This isn't happening. Do we have time? Never say Never. -We'll never make it -Don't say that! Are you ready? Yo, where IS she? He's like, crazy or something. She's crazy. This is craaaaazy. Ok, first of all-- Go! Go! Go, now! -So, she already told you beforehand? -Yes. NO! YES! YAAAAAAS. All dimensions: No/NO NO, OH GOD NO-- "YES, OH MY GOD" (sampled) (What?) "JESUS." (Sampled from, Coffee Run) (What?) Don't-- What are you doing here? (Angrily) Ū!!!! It's YOU! A group dancing to Soulja Boy (Youuuuuuuu!) (Rollercoaster sample from Scatta) I don't know, he's been, you know-- -Did you know? -No… -DID YOU KNOW? Know what? What? What is what? (From Deathbed) ...Water… Surprised reactions, at the bedside -Run! -How much time do we have? -Take all the time you need. Time...Ah, yes, I--yes, I remember Time... She says it all the time, I didn't think she'd actually– He's gone. She died, right? ------------ "Running Out Of Time" [Frazzled and haggardly beaten, having exhausted everything attempting to unravel an endless web of timelines tied together ultimately by inevitability, he frantically rifles through his apartment, tearing through every corner, fiending for any energy source. He uplifts the couch cushions, tossing away various (insert easter eggs here) objects, empty portal guns, as the vibrations from a buzzing phone alert him of an incoming call, he fishes armpit deep into the crevices, red faced and cracked lips, cursing: --c'mon, c'mon--how did this get so fucking DEEP. God DAMN IT-- ------ By Chak Chel's bedside, The Ascended Masters are gathered surrounding a weak and lifeless GOD/Chak Chel in her absolutely oldest physical body. Oh man, I don't think she can handle many more of these Damnations, it's just more and more damage… I told you we should have Destroyed that damn planet! She created that planet-- It's not about the planet, it's the inhabitants. If we annihilate humanity now, the planet itself may regenerate with time… Time…? I-- They all turn their heads toward Chak Chel, as she drifts back out of consciousness. PAUSE *EDIT* What? Just– What!? What would it be like to listen to some Skrillex right now? NO. NEVER AGAIN. [Thinking, drifts away.] *listening to deadmau5, thinking about Skrillex* Hmnnn. Moar Ghosts N' Stuff. *Synth Drops In* Nope, I'm Good lol. CUT TO: I told you I could be Joel's cat. Oh, wow, nice. JOEL NO, MEOWINGTONS, NYO !!!!!!!! Meheh. UNPAUSE CUT BACK TO: She's so lost to time... If she succumbs under this darkness, it could be eons before The Light is restored. It may never be. INSOLENT CREATURES! Perhaps we should prepare for invasion. Invasion? They are primitive beings, barely reached the outer realms of consciousness-- We'd be waging an all-out war, on an intergalactic scale; the magnitude of this could ripple through --infinite-- --infinite dimensions-- This is everything. Everything is Everything. Pft. Yeah--until it's nothing-- Oh, yeah--just add to the amount of negative energy-- might as Well just push her into The Void. I'll push you into The Void. Nothing I haven't been through. Yeah, dude, we've all been through The Void. ...I am The Void... I was at THE ASCENSION! Where were you?? (They argue loudly.) [The Crypt Keeper Lurks Silently in the corner.] Guys. [The room is in upheaval, an outroar of arguments have erupted amongst the Gods, the Ascended Masters and other chosen leaders from each realm throughout the multiverse. ] ...Shhht, quiet... [The Crypt Keeper slowly lifts up her staff, in slow motion ] (SUPACREE shakes her head at the crypt keeper, gesturing "no, don't" ) Guys. [As the crypt keeper lowers her staff, SupaCree begins to emit a shining white light.] GUYS! THE CRYPT KEEPER CHARGES HER STAFF INTO THE GROUND, SHAKING THE WORLD WITH A THUNDEROUS FORCE, THREE TIMES. The fabric of the entire multiverse begins to shatter. The room cowers in fear and uncertainty. CHAK CHEL (very weakly) Where's Dillon…he...he should be back by now… Wait, Dillon- Dillon WHO!? Dillon Francis? Wait--what? Dillon Francis, are you serious? Oh, God-- --Shh-- Sorry, I just--seriously--? Dillon Francis. It's always Dillon Francis. Tell me about it, Jesus Christ-- --SHH--!! It's fine, I put the light inside of that one. What light? You put the Divine light of The Source inside of that guy? I'm not a--wait--what light? What's a "Dillon Francis?" We had to hide it. CHAK CHEL Dillon? ...he...he should be here by now,-- I--I have to give him more time… Wow, Dillon Fucking--the whole time– (Tying into the dimension where SupaCree has just divulged that her favorite DJ is Dillon Francis.) That's her apprentice? What! Explains how he's always everywhere, I guess-- Except here. --yeah, where IS he anyway? Yeah, I mean--he should have been here awhile ago. What the fuck does Dillon Francis have to do with anything? I mean really. [The Gods have quietly moved into a secret chamber, hidden from the rest of the–] WHAT THE FUCK. WHO did this? We had to act quickly-- It was a unified decision; DECISION BY WHO? [They fall quiet.] WHOSE idea was it to hide the Divine light of the source within this--this--imperfect and flawed excuse for a body? What genetic catastrophe allowed for this creature to have been created? Her genetic code is what allowed us to be able to-- --THE GODS ARE CREATED IN OUR IMAGE! WHAT TAINTED IMAGE IS THIS? ITS AS IF SATAN CREATED IT, IF SATAN COULD-- ...Satan Sealed The Shield... [The Gods all react in surprise and horror.] ...What… WHAT? You entrusted SATAN with the encryption of The– Not me. Chak Chel. WHAT? ...what? Why would...why would… Why would she trade her immortality for– She sacrificed her connection to The Source? What for? She would sacrifice anything to save humanity from extinction. She...loves that planet, and its inhabitants. She believed in the overall good of humankind, that they could one day come to know Love. To Be Love. She was created and designed specifically to be the embodiment of life and light itself-- The Prophecy (III) [THE ASCENDED MASTERY has assembled, the ensemble shieled by an ‘inpenatrable' invisible forcefield; SUPACREE senses the energy field, Which she walks into, nonchalantly.] She has awakened her consciousness far more quickly than was ever expected-- The Origins Once we send her back, she will have been three times resurrected from Death. How is she to bring these...this planet so drowned in darkness into the light? She can. She will. She has. There have been innumerous witnesses to the manifestations and miracles the power of the light has given her. And she's yet to use the entirety of the Source power to its full potential. Still, these instances of power manifestation have left a shockwave amidst many, even the Prophets, as foretold have discussed a solidified following amongst the alchemists, sorcerer-- --even mortals who have come to practice in the occult sciences-- She has believers. (Uhh...I think it's a cult. What's a cult?) In the dimension where the world has succumb to darkness-- -The Mormons!? -Oh, really? Hm. -Jesus. [Enter Mormon Jesus] In the same reality, Which SUPACREE has been trapped in for nearly a eternity in entirety now, she sits drenched in sweat inside her car, as onlookers from the surrounding affluent neighborhood peer into the vehicle with disgust; she looks much like a crackhead talking to herself; however, Jesus, Neva, Se7en and Goldie's anamorphosis personifications by The Guardian Angels accompany her, Avicii, also omnipresent, but unable to be seen or heard in the material reality, even between The Spirit World, which SUPACREE has journeyed deeply into, in search of Chak Chel--who has consistently been leaving hints in Nature, guiding her eventually into "God" (A Long Drive, With You, Friends) A very Jewish woman sneers, glaring at SUPACREE through the window. Telepathically, very loud and disapproving of here mere presense. (CONT'D) … She just doesn't believe in herself. The Darkness has been working to weaken the potential of The Light for quite some time now. There is an evil in the power of man, darkness in the consumption of currency-- --she's been targeted by her own country as an enemy, which the world powers see as a threat-- --her, a threat--? --she had political ambitions. These men wage war over currency, the hypocrisy of religion. America. She has the ability to be one of the most powerful leaders in human history. She acts instinctively in Love. A target? Her world has been long lost from love, succumbed to the darkness, the primitive error of man. Greed. She has overcome more alienation, more life altering loss of light in just this lifetime than can And, has been raised by the shepherds and priests in the teachings of the great kingdom. She brings herself to Death in despair and sadness. She cannot live with the power of The Source Light in the loss of Love; the pain becomes too great. And now? She's been bestowed by the ancients the wisdom of her true origins. So she knows… She knows that in the absence of Love, there is no Life left to light. Love is the thing that weaves together the fabric of space and time. Reality Is… AH, JESUS CHRIST! SUPACREE appears behind DILLON FRANCIS in the doorway silently. The Bampheramph Line rings, he hopes it is Hanzel--it is Chak Chel--he rolls his eyes, tossing his phone to the side You should probably answer that. DILLON FRANCIS You should probably shut the fuck up, how about that? SUPACREE Relax. I need you to listen to me--remember that thing-- DILLON FRANCIS Which THING? EVERYTHING? Like EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING? Like that!? Huh! SUPACREE ...yes, it's that exactly, actually. DILLON FRANCIS. "Exactly, actually--actually," SUPACREE appears in full form, out of the translucency of the higher realms and into the personification of the third dimensional realm. SUPACREE Come on, dude, we don't have time for this! DILLON FRANCIS Time? What the fuck is time? SUPACREE Come on, Dillon, we really don't have time for this, I'll explain it-- DILLON FRANCIS Explain it when? When you have time? [He turns to see her, standing in the doorway; A simple plain white T shirt and blue jeans.] (gh0st.) SUPACREE I'm trying to tell you, dude. It's time. DILLON FRANCIS Wait, why do you look--wait, which dimension is--whats different about--wait (Sampled "Wait", at the crosswalk) sneakers launch from the sidewalk and into the busy intersection, in a sprint. "Two genres: Hardstyle, and Country." "I don't know what the 3rd world war will be fought with, but the 4th will be with sticks and stones." This begins the battle against "good" and "evil", " darkness" and "light", "life" and "death"--but as the Source, Gods and Ascended Masters all know, that all are one in the same--that these concepts only exist within a primitive human psyche. The collective consciousness of "hybrids", hyper-intellectual "human" individuals with extraterrestrial origins and ancient ancestors, predating the human era (which some distant--even technologically-- advanced beings amongst intelligent civilizations throughout the cosmos infinite galaxies ever expanding throughout the outer realms of the multiverse, all of consciousness "And there is no "all", because infinite means that it has yet to end." *Moving sand (the universe) into a giant space dump truck/space dump.* ...is that all of it? SŪPA and SKRILLEX, after both having been involuntarily flung "around" an infinitely expanding universe, are finally head to head after hunting each other in realms beyond time and space for literal eternities; The peak of their confused fury comes to a face-to-face blowout, to which the likes the Heavens nor the Underworld ever have seen. In dimensions where people are tuning in on multi/interdimensional cable, the audience is glued to their seats. (People in rural areas are going through obscene and ridiculous lengths to get a signal so that they can tune in. ENTER THE MULTIVERSE: RICK AND MORTY MORTY Ohhh, oh shit Rick! I-its that show, with the--uhh, uhhh... RICK Which 'uhh-uhhs', Morty--the big ones, or the little ones? MORTY Uhhh–'Flying Magic DJ Monkey Unicorn Space...Wars...I think. RICK Oh, you mean ‘Space Rave? You mean like, where they're at a rave *belch* in-in-in Space? Or something like that? MORTY No, it's Monkey Flying Magic DJ...Monkey… RICK --You said "monkey" twice-- MORTY (CONT'D) ...Space Wars… RICK I don't know, Morty--last time I allowed myself to participate in a music festival, it got, uh, *coughs* It got pretty deep. Flashback: DILLON PICKLE FRANCIS// PICKLE RICK Flashback Within Flashback :The Hellavator Flashback within Flashback Within Flashback: SŪPA dropping the bass, eliminating RIck and Morty/justin roiland (and Dan Harmon, I guess) from existence in entirety. RICK ...yeah, I uhh. Let-uh-let me see that. [He takes the remote control from morty, switching between the channels. They are all SupaTV original series, eventually skipping past 'Ricky and Mo', an over stereotypically alternate Rick and Morty, where the characters are black. (And features an animated Ricky (from Run Ricky Run) as its main character. RICK [w/MORTY] What the-- MORTY Go back, Rick! Everybody's favorite DJ is about to battle her favorite DJ. RICK --who, what? H-h-holdon-- MORTY, rushing over to the television, hurriedly switches the channel back manually to its original channel, from a dimension where the drama has been documented as a melodramatic soap opera meets gameshow. ANNOUNCER [W/MORTY] DUEL! RICK Duel the wha--oh my God, what is she doing with that chicken wing--? Ū! RICK This is just, brutal-- MORTY That was just a highlight. The boss fight is live. RICK Boss fight... Live--wait a minute--i know that lady! F I G H T. [HANZEL and GRETL are, of course, selling scalped tickets and portal guns to fans who have been following along as the series progresses, They play a 'Deep Deep Deep Bass House' HANZEL (it's a new genre) B2B set, which emits a magical low frequency bass, opening teleportals which immediately transport attendees into the Colosseum, where a furious SONNY/SKRILLEX and a rage-fueled SŪP∆CREE have "randomly" (actually, the result of a carefully planned (and in some dimensions/worlds, failed series of coordinated efforts from various sides, creating wormholes, time gaps, opening (and/or closing) portals with certain intentions, and creating "coincidences" between their two worlds which ultimately expand or collapse the respective universes within the multiverse at their centers. [The festival is in full swing; Behind the scenes, our beloved DJs ready themselves accordingly. ] Everybody's there. (Also, this is where "Everyone's a DJ now" gets really out of control.) *spoiler alert* DJ battle underway. This is the all-out cage match of magic music ninja All the Rave Weaponry. All the Jesus. Everything. The calm before the storm: The theatre and excitement of the largest scale highest production quality and rave culture values ever known to man (or otherwise). A living, breathing ECO system which expands outward, the Colosseum at it's center, where sparkles with the decadence of the Mainstage. Unassumingly, strolling along stage right SKRILLEX sips on a refreshing beverage--surrounded by his entourage and bodyguard, as per the usual. Stage left, SŪPA and her #squad are big chillin', eating lollipops, ice cream cones, popsicles, and cupcakes… super classy. *supaclassy. DILLON FRANCIS lurks nervously in the background. (He's in the background of every scene, in different clothing, Bampheramphing hectically and sweating bullets. *probably on something. In some cut scenes he is in SŪPA's entourage, in drag--eating a taco, or hot wing rather than candy. He is still being flung around the infinite multiverse, both with purpose and intention for each "side", and has become something of a omni-agent, completing tasks within the multiverse for almost every force imaginable (and yet to be imagined, infinitely forever after.) SŪP∆, after being transported through a multilayered wormhole, threaded across the Insomniac (and live nation) festivals and concerts she's attended throughout the years and dimensions. Uncertain of which actual realm and dimension she's ended up in, (obviously, one where her SŪP∆ Brand has become a success, realizing her dreams of becoming a "superstar DJ") without the panel, she must summon her forceful energy and light magic by combining her natural intuitive powers and ancient knowledge insight. She performs various tests within her current reality, as she 'attempts' to recover and pull herself back together, having been only just moments ago cosmically annihilated for a series of infinite eternities, whilst looking for Skrillex. Luckily, she still possesses the Golden Flash drive. It is the final of her array of rave weapons, and by far most powerful. Skrillex is Skrillex. They lock eyes from across the stage. An explosion. -blam- (MIND = BLOWN.) (((throughout the dimensions))) AAARE YOU READY TO RUMBLEEEEEEE TV VIEWERS: nervous/excited/scared/happy/sad MORTY Oh, shit! It's on! It's on! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. HE SEEN HER! HE SEEN HER! *tribal dancing*/chanting* DILLON FRANCIS from center Sees SŪP∆CREE seeing SKRILLEX, squinting in confisiouson (when you think so hard, you momentarily turn into confucius.) She's mad. DILLON FRANCIS Oh--NOOO. He snaps his neck in the opposite direction, to see SKRILLEX seeing SŪP∆CREE, squinting Skrillex-y. (That's extra, extra hard.) He's mad. DILLON FRANCIS OH GOD, NO! He morphs into DILLON GLANCES and DILLON FLANCES, respectively. (3) Wtf is this like a fucked up shadow-clone juitsu? Just– DILLON FRANCIS (To Dillon Glances: giving him the Golden Flash drive) I have to--I gotta--just take th- DILLON GLANCES I can't. DILLON FRANCIS You CAN. DILLON GLANCES I can't. I'm not a DJ. DILLON FRANCIS Everyone's a fucking DJ, DO IT. DILLOn GLANCES Jesus. DILLON FRANCIS: JUST DO IT. [They run off in three seperate directions: DILLON FRANCIS runs to center stage, attempting to prevent the all out massacre of DJ dueling about to take place…] DILLON FLANCES runs into the festival's huge and quickly growing-crowd, as people literally appear out of various portals and wormholes from all over the multiverse. crowds of party goers, exiting them, attempting to open portals to evacuate them to a less fragile timeline. DILLON GLANCES, who is–in fact– not a DJ, a Bampheramph, or time traveler of any sort.. (by any purposeful means, anyway. He " just kind of gets "sucked in to this shit") —eventually crowning him as an Honorary Bampheramph (which people hate, because it's still an extension of Dillon Francis.) —-posing as Dillon Frances, steps up to the decks SKRILLEX and SŪP∆ charge towards each other furiously-- Nobody knows what to do. As they draw closer to each other, radiating in fury and anger, they each explode. SŪP∆: YOÜ. SKRILLEX: YOŪ. They charge forward. BOTH: AHHHHHHHH!!!! An energy field opens; invisible energies take on color and shape in the outer worlds. Reality shifts. yelling. BOTH: WHERES MY MUSIC? BOTH: YOUR MUSIC?! BOTH: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! SKRILLEX: No, who the fuck are youuu! SŪP∆: NO, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? (Simultaneously, to stage managers) SŪP∆: what is HE doing here? SKRILLEX: what is SHE doing here? BOTH: I'M ON THE LINEUP. SŪP∆: Of Course you're on the lineup. SKRILLEX Oh please, How did YOU get on the lineup? DILLON FRANCIS *Appearing out of seemingly nowhere, very out of breath and almost dead, still bleeding from open heart surgery through his shirt, face covered in hot wing sauce* Let me explain… BOTH: DILLON FRANCIS?!? BAMPHERAMPHS: ((From across the stage, viewing with Binoculars.)) …Dillon Francis? —Dillon Francis? What is he doing here? –Ugh, Seriously. Dillon Francis Again? DJ RICH AS FUCK Yo, Fuck Dillon Francis. DILLON FRANCIS Yeah, fuck Dillon Francis. … ...Aren't you Dillon Francis…? DILLON FRANCIS [Pointing at himself, on the stage. No, that's Dillon Francis. They turn to look back at the stage, DILLON FRANCIS vanishes. What the-- SUPACREE/SKRILLEX: (Now with anger directed towards Dillon) What are you doing here? DILLON FRANCIS: *Dazed and confused* Uh--I'm on the lineup. SŪP∆: How? SKRILLEX: Why? DILLON FRANCIS: Jesus Christ, I don't know, ok? Just please don't-- SŪP∆: Don't ‘WHAT Dillon Francis? blast this lil motherfucker out of every kind of fathomable existence with a billion giggatwats of NUCLEAR BASS? ! LIKE, THREE PEOPLE (at least) Giggatwats? DOC BROWN Gooodddamn. [GOD is going mad from all the goddamned goddamns. The Hellavator, hanging by not even a thread, has gone into its final stages of devastation and horror, as it nears taking its eternally damning plunge into the nearly infinite caverns of the underworld, Satan's domain of darkness.] Meanwhile, in multiple other dimensions: Have you seen the lineup? Are we going? We're going. We have to go. RAVEEEEE. Ohhhh shit. No. I'm not going. I have to go! Where are you guys going? PASQUALE: (flashback, daisy overalls.) You guys, where are we going? The brothers are looking through a futuristic digital catalogue of intergalactic raves throughout time and space. Yoooooo. What--you find something? Yoooooo. ...is it good? (Shows the lineup, obscured from view of the camera) FVCK. YAS. All the 'yas' SAUCE. All the sauce. Yo what planet is this even; what dimension is this in, like? Says, Earth. Earth?! No fucking way, earth doesn't have raves in any dimension I've ever heard of. [Coming in from other room.] Where doesn't have raves? Earth. Yo, what the fuck is "Earth." Bet you it's fake. Bet you it's not. Check on it. Google. Google Ūniverse is a holographic multidimensional map of their galaxy's known multiverse. They scroll through eons of galaxies, solar systems, planets, and stars the likes of which make our own galaxy, and our own sun appear to be nothing but specs of dust. Where is it? I don't see it anywhere. I told you it was fake. No. Keep going. Further. Keep going… Are you serious, where is this planet. Are you sure it's a planet? It's gotta be. Dude, there's nothing out here. Keep going. To what. This looks like a black hole ate a black whole. Something like that, what's that there? This puny galaxy? I don't think that's a galaxy. Oh, it is… They all tilt their heads, squinting. ...or.. was… They tilt their heads to the opposite side, squinting. ...or might be, someday. Or something. I don't know man, looks kinda fragile. 'Explore' "The Milkyway Galaxy" Ew. What is it? It's so dark. Well yeah, look at that tiny Sol. There's only...wait how many planets--? It's not much. I don't know man--you wanna go to a rave here? That's… (Shows the advertisement) Oh wow… Looks back at our galaxy, with a discerning consideration, then back at the ad, then back up at the "universe" I don't know man. That's way out there. Like...nowhere, actually. [Scrunched face of disapproval] "Earth." Come on guys. I mean-- (Plays promo) [EDC] DAMN. Aight. OKAY. Woooow. They all look back at the map, worriedly. Zooming in on earth. Mmkayyy. Hmmm. Yeah, this thing looks fragile. Yeah,look at that weird axis. (Wobbles) That can't last too long. This entire universe is on the verge of collapse. How did that...even...happen? The whole thing is like... All: huh. ...if we leave now, we can make it, gates open. Over 20 stages, live art, food-- --FOOD-- ...and...wait, that can't be right. This says "free water" WHAT? FREE WATER? OH WHAT. A RAVE SLASH INVASION? we don't have to invade if they're just giving it away FOR FREE. Free. Water. Psh. Water. It's a trap! Could be. Yeah, Free Water. ...it says...the almost the entire surface of this planet is what? What? That seems dangerous. It's almost entirely water, guys. That's impossible. CUT TO: I TOLD YOU. IN-FIN-ATE. Nothing is impossible. But I thought nothing was nothing. Nothing is nothing. It's also something. And everything. Which is also nothing. But I thought everything was everything. Yes, which includes, and simultaneously also excludes but certainly not limited to, nothing. But when does it end? It...it doesn't, it just (gestures)...infinite. you know? So it just...doesn't… Stop? Yeah. No. It just keeps-- Yeah. Going. --and then nothing. Which is something. Yeah, nothing's something. Then what's something. Something's a something-- Anything. Some-thing. Yeah, but 'some' is just 'some' thing, not everything. Yeah, everything--anything. Anything can be something, and something can be anything. Which-- Which means,nothing's nothing--something can be anything, and anything can be something; which is everything. And-- Nothing. --so-- Infinite. “Once Upon A Dillon Francis” Once Upon a Dillon Francis… AGH. No. Start over. Uh, ok. Once upon a Dillon Francis. Stop saying that. Yuck. Why are you saying that? What? Once Upon a Dillon Francis? That makes Dillon Francis sound like Father Time! Yaghh! Okay? You can't say that. Why? Because he isn't. He could be. But he's not. So? Just. Go back. Okay...Once Upon A Dillon Francis. (Groans) Ok. Stop it. This isn't working. Because you're not letting me even-- No story ever started with Once Upon A Dillon Francis. This one might! If it starts with Dillon Francis, where would it-- Imagination is the key to all creativity. You made that up. I'm making up the whole thing! What does Dillon Francis have to do with anything-- He doesn't. Just listen! I'm not listening to anything that starts with Dillon Francis. Well what would you rather me say, once upon a Skrillex? Now that's more like it! No, it's not. It's just unsettling. It is. You know what! Forget it. There's no story. What, because there's no Dillon Francis? Exactly. What? Because. Ï You... I don't know about this Just keep-- This makes me feel some kind of wha. What kind of way every kind of way-- wait. “Remember Ryan” I do remember Ryan “Fuck Dillon Francis” Rich Nigga Shit. And your shirt. So-- So?! Who the fuck is this guy? He's Dillon Francis. No, who the fuck is he?! Not who-- Huh? What. Whatthefuck-- What? WHAT? Hanzel (& Gretl) are originally from Hell or 'The Dark Side', this gives reasoning to their stoic and sometimes henius mannerisms. Halo by Beyonce is multidimensional (listen, study) This car needs some wheels is about loving yourself (and to learn how to love someone else) "The Skrillex" The Cosmic Owl Chak Chel's Family-- The brothers Bampheramphs --old people -&Sonny/old lady in the park dog walking Rick n roll--dillon pickle Francis/pickle rick roll) (rock n roll) will take you to the the mountain No boys allowed//no Skrillex allowed Wait here. Why can't I just come with you? No boys allowed. Can't you see the sign on the door? What sign on the door? She places a sign on the door. Wait here. But. 5 minutes. Walks in, shutting door behind her. But. Opens sliding window hatch on door, peeking out. I'll be right back. But. A note is shoved backwards through the mail slot, and floats down between his feet. He picks it up to read it; it is a blank sheet of paper. He deflates. Gleeful girly cheers and chatter, laughter and and upbeat music from the other side of the door; an obvious party starts inside. Hours pass, Sonny is falling asleep standing up. He hears 3 women approaching, and excitedly shakes himself awake. He stands to the side, posing. What's up! (They cannot hear or see him. he isn't yet aware of the forcefield placed around him, for his protection (as he is being hunted throughout the universe.) Girl: Dude, I can't believe you know Rezz. Hey! Girl 2: yeah that's sooo cool. Girl: Yeah, VIP. Is like-- Girl: Oh my God, I bet it's like so lit. Girl: So Lit. Girl: Oh my God, yeah. I'm definitely doing VIP next year. Girl: Definitely. Girl: So worth it. Girl: So like, what time does it start-start? Girl: ummm, I don't know, but I think we're like early. Early!? Girl: Should I--oh, hey--im getting a call. It's the other DJ, I think she's inside already. (It's Ū) Girl: Hello? What up Ū! Ū? Hey! Heeeeey! Girl: yeah, we're at the door. Ohhhh shit, for real? Ok. (hangs up) yeah, she said she'll be down here in like, 5 minutes. Apparently the music's bumping, they couldn't even hear us at the door. Psh. 5 minutes yeah right. Girl: daynmm. Girl: yeah, there's like 10 famous DJs in there in there right now. Look at this snapchat I got earlier. Daaaam. Lit. I heard there's gonna be more. Is that Allison Wonderland? Allison Wonderland opens the door. Hi Guys! No way! It is Allison Wonderland! Hey!! Come on in guys! Girl: (closest to Sonny, but walking towards the door) wait, did you guys hear that weird. Girl: kind of, not really Girl: yeah I don't really believe in ghosts, but sometimes-- By now, Sonny has noticed that he hasn't been seen or heard by anyone and assumes his likely invisibility. However Allison Wonderland, being a DJ, has the ability to see through this force field (unbeknownst to him that it even exists.) Sonny stands at the door, staring. She stares back expressionlessly, straight into his soul with indifference of his presence. A brief silence, before Sonny furroughs his brows. She just stares at him. ...wait, can you see me? ...No. She shuts the door. Jack and Jill I'm elessian park You left your sister where Doctors A-Z (doctor p's planet; boogie t distant relative) Scary OWSLA (1000 VOLTS, WESTWOOD) GIANT JOSH PANDA THE SOUL SALESMEN THE CIA/FBI/MEN IN BLACK DONT FUCK WITH TIME (IRL) FROZEN SKRILLEX FOREST FIRE (REZZ) Ralph, Wendy, Denny, Trader Joe Mr moto guy Tips>>>SKRILLEX I thought we were done writing these. I guess not. Get the fuck back, Dillon Francis. Woah, I--okay. JUST STEP BACK. That's a gun! It's a bayonet. That's...where did you even get something like that? I time travel. That...makes sense. It has to. Wenzday. She's pretty. Aren't they all. They are. Maybe her. Anyone but you, huh? How would it ever be me? Still don't believe? How could I ever believe. They're all perfect. And Talented. And white. Can't forget white. And thin. Never forget thin. So why would it ever be me? Maybe it wouldn't. Maybe's a maybe. And a Skrillex is a Skrillex. And Sonny's a Sonny. So-- So, Billie Ellish. My Future. See you in a couple years. Its chasing a wild goose. It's chasing monsters and sprites. It's chasing, but only if you're running. Run, Sunni-- Run Sonny-- Run. This goes around in circles. Goes around like seagulls in the sky. Getter. What did getter do? What did Skrillex do? What does Dillon Francis Have to do with anything? Nothing. Jimmy Fallon --was never nothing-- What does Dillon Francis have to do with anything? Still don't know. What about Pasqualle? Still don't know. And Skrillex? Fuck--I really don't know. Don't you? Alright. What do you know? Commonalities. And? Patterns. And…? Red Cups, Beer Bottles, and Pop-Tarts. What's it look like? A shallow pool of hard liquor. So? So, they can afford alcoholism. You see it that way? I don't see. Don't you? That's the same question twice. It's the same question, infinitely. Who are you? Who am I? Exactly. What's your DJ name? Depends on the day. What's your name, now? I'm Sunni. To replace Sonny? Nothing replaces that. What's in the music? An algorithm--a hidden code, maybe? Maybe. Maybe's still a maybe.[ What are they looking for? A savior? Now you've given yourself a God Complex. As if the world already hadn't. The world had, I just refused to accept it. Until? Until everything. At once, right? And nothing. Why does Annie keep coming up? You must be on her mind. I'm dead to her. Who? Exactly. She thinks you'll make up. Please. She's latna and native. And an alcoholic. So. So she's perfect. So she is. I'm not forgiving her. Again. Maybe you don't have to. If the DJs want her, they can have her. She's a perfect storm of a hoe. Hoes are fun. Until they're not. What are you? A ghost. Why does she keep coming up? I don't know. I've had two dreams about her. She misses you. I could give a fuck. You could? IDGAFOS. Happy Birthday, Dillon Francis. But you won't tell him. His fandom will. I'm done inboxing people. These people live on beaches; I'm a grain of sand. So go find your beach. Viva Mexico. Probably so, huh? Probably. Left in a world without people, realizing she is completely alone, Punishment be ones Paradise, as she enjoys all her favorite places, without the pollution, population or politics in her way. The happiest she's ever been, she approaches EMPTY EDC, still perfectly intact with the gates wide open. She runs inside,losing her mind-- and then losing her enthusiasm entirely, realizing she cannot dance in silence, or operate any of the rides by herself (which, in one dimension higher, she uses the power of the mind to start manifesting all the things she needs,creating a perfect EDC) however, in the most limited dimension, where even manifestation can be fathomed, and no use of magic, she sadly strolls through the empty carnival--though, having found solace in the typically overpriced fashion and merchandice apparel, has ransacked the empty and abandoned shops, looking ridiculously ravey, looking like a 3D insomniac billboard, sparkling with Kandi and shining flashing lights. She approaches the front and center of the rail, her usual favorite, as she looks up at the decks of The BassPod. She just looks, as she sips an acai berry smoothie out of a collectible cup. Cree: You look like a fucked up cupcake. SupaCree: You look like a fucked up cupcake, ate a fucked up cupcake, and then put on a sweater. Cree: Hey man. Fat is Fat. I'm in Infinite Eternity: INFINITE EDC, BITCH. SupaCree: Oh yeah? You like being the fattest fat ass dancing fatass at the everlasting motherfucking fatty fattass fat... dance... Cree: Hmmyeahh--Hows it feel being the lastest-fast-having-last past life past-afterlife--flattest -ass-last-fan-of-DillonFrancis-random-dancing-at-the-lostest-awful-rotten-sauced-forgotten-boss-of-not-a-lot-of-bought-a-bag of -frazzled-skrillex-dicks-you-wish-you-licked-but-didnt-cause-they-wouldnt let you in the the artist tent if you farted in it, in -different-dimensions you were in INFINITE but now you're ISNT-ISNT-ISNT IS THE CLOSEST cause you're not a fucking DJ BITCH, YOURE JUST A WISHIN WASHED UP WISHING WELL YOU'RE STILL FAT!! PPL ALTER EGO I wanna look like her! —oh, that's a guy —well, still. For I am just a shadow of what I once was; And all of a fraction of what I would become, Were it not for love There you are. There I was. Oh, my God. How long was I gone? Long. I'm sorry. No, you're not. Oh shit, that sounds F.U.N… FUN!? FUCK YOU, NIGGA! Oh good, the Dolphin On Wheels is here. "THIS. IS. OWSLAAAAAAA" ARE YOU SERIOUS!? Serious as a Dillon Francis Bampheramph. What even IS that? You're looking at it. ________ NO PANTS! what?! (Takes off pants) HEY! NO PANTS, Dillon Francis! Have a banana. I don't wanna banana! I want pants! NO PANTS. gimmie your hat. (Leaves) It is. An Element. Can... I base... my survival solely on elements--is--the question. That is, actually--as it stands, what we were intended to do--I suppose. Elements. Alchemy. Alchemists. Ahhhh. Those. Ahhh. D-- Hmmm. Mmm. Okay. This is gonna take a long time to work out. What doesssss--- ...Hello… Aha-ahaha... ...What does Dillon Francis have to do with this? I don't know. *laughing in 4 different dimensions* I know, right? *snickers* Well, that's another drop in the Fuck-It Bucket Not that Bucket. [honks] Ahe, Hehehe I didn't-- Actually, I did know that-- I did know that-- I did know that I had two Fuck-It Buckets. I had forgotten... about all the buckets. Just like I almost about the Hellavator. How is that going, by the way. Oh what--the Hellevator--or the Party on the Hellevator? Or the scene...where Hanzel's on the...Hellevator with Dillon Francis? I-- *reacts in 4 different dimensions* Oh, wow. I know! It's gonna take forever. Forever's almost nothing compared to an eternity. Yeah--forever is almost nothing, compared to an eternity. *smacks lips* And then that, motherfucker… FUCK THAT MOTHERFUCKER! Fuck that motherfucker. *sirens sounding* YEP. *blasting magic* Yep. ...yep. This is why we don't need a wand, anymore--because--you see that? Yep. Well, -- you don't see it, Well I mean, that's just part of the joy--you just know. You don't have to see it, you just know. Oh, you mean like... [mimicks ******** ] ..Kinda like that… But…??? Gonna Hit that red dot and never stop What's that--the 4th dimension? Ah, the 4th dimension. The “r” word Yeah, yeah, yeah Like political correctness even matters. The only thing that matters is matter And why have I never been for a Joyride? Last thing I remember, I was having the time of my life... [rifling through things, as Dillon sits down at his desk—he puts on a pair of librarian-like frames, adjusting them to fit at the nose] You don't wear glasses. Uh, I do wear glasses, I am wearing glasses. I just never—you know—thought of you, like— Yeah, well—not all of us are known by our trademark frames. I detect a hint of bitterness. Oh, you can detect that? What device do you have that does that? …...my...senses. Heh, you look like Katey Sagal. I love her. Same. [rifling through papers, doing office things] What's taking so long, Peg? Well, Al, if you must know it's going to take me a minute to get into my ‘Skrillex', it's been awhile. How long's awhile. Hey—you came through my panoramic window demanding Skrillex. Tsh, like it's never happened before. (Or like it's always, never happening) What? Hey—who said that? So how long's this gonna take? I'm gonna need you to exercise patience—that is, if you're familiar with excersise. PATIENCE?! What the fuck is Patience?? Are you done yet? Patience—patience—it's like—it's almost like “patients, like what a doctor has— —oh don't even— *hands up* Not gonna even. … … … Did you— I told you it has been a minute. >>>< >>>>>>> >>>>< What kind of company do you think I keep?! In this installment, which follows Scary Monsters and SupaCree and crosses over into both DILLONCEPTION, and enter the multiverse. Having nearly abandoning the ideal of becoming a superstar DJ, a reality she had previously become certain of, but given up on after being led to believe the DJ world is one ruled by white supremacy, SUPACREE, going by “CC” and operating under the pen name CC stone crafts a somewhat plausible future in entertainment, still creating music under the moniker “Sunni Blu” or DJ U, still passionately attached to Djing, though as a hobby, rather than as a potential career. In a pseudo-suicidal depressive state, our protagonist explores all the infinite realms of her own creation, drifting into a lucid God-Dream in which all the dimensions of her writings exist, in each respective reality, sometimes crossing timelines from one “fictional” realm into another, as the writer struggles with her own self-confidence and self-actualization. We Open With A Blockbuster-Style Movie Trailer. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- CUT TO: Sunni Blu is writing a Movie. —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. ___ Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. Jesus is watching “The Movie” So you swim into a port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what's the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They...don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. [Skrillex ]is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have [Skrillex.} Skrillex. How did you get a [Skrillex?] Just--[Skrillex.] “Just [Skrillex”?] The Original. Oh, shit. The Original [Skrillex.] Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my [Skrillex?] I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my [Skrillex?] Oh what--[Skrillex?] We have [Skrillex!] You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's [Skrillex], isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eight Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? [Over the phone] ...She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing [Skrillex?] He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Black Jack. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no [Skrillex.] PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that [Skrillex?] Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. [Skrillex] has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in [Skrillex.] YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhile. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited [Skrillex.] Limited [Skrillex.] Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo and Wanda are on their way to The Event Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? [Skrillex!] He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! [Skrillex?!] Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! __ Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is [_____________]” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. [Skrillex] is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? [Skrillex] is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see [Skrillex] last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. Look,This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ To her suprise, some big-time hollywood producers have taken an interest in her script,; Because she has no formal work experience in the industry, she is being “coached” by seasoned industry professionals as the Film Goes into Pre-Production Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with [Skrillex.] [...Skrillex?] What [Skrillex?] It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no [Skrillex.] He is introduced as a character in Act... No, [Skrillex ]isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… [Sunni Blu (a.k.a. ‘Stone' omits page 45 from all of her written works.] “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. [Skrillex] did A [Skrillex.] Three People Know About It. [Skrillex] is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't expla

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Episode 97 - Worldbuilder Christi

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Play Episode Listen Later Apr 19, 2022 53:44

It's happening. Worldbuilders in Altspace 14 is featuring one of our favorite Worldbuilders, Christi. I know, we can't believe it either!Before she got all huge and involved in saving the world through the United Nations Act Now worlds of Al Wasl Dome and Uluru, she created or helped create such fan favorites as the burning earth of The Eco Zone, The Merry Mad Tea Party for Burning Man 2020, and the super polished and charming Baba Yaga's Forbidden Forest. Check it!

Creation Corner: Worldbuilders, Featuring Sarah

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Play Episode Listen Later Apr 11, 2022 36:15

Creation Corner: This week we get a chance to share some time with Worldbuilder Sarah, an aspiring author of fantasy fiction. In this episode, we take on the topic of the differences between writing for a reading audience and for players in an interactive environment, and how the two not only differ, but can grow from each other. Sarah is a busy creator and is ready to share her work with you! If you're interested in learning more, you can find her in these places: Website: https://www.storiesbysarahdanielle.com/ Forsaken by Shadows (Audio): https://sarahdanielle.substack.com/ Forsaken by Shadows (YouTube): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8XGSBnGt99GlsxxtWaulTQ Full Linktree: https://linktr.ee/StoriesbySarahDanielle Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/storiesbysarahdanielle/ Twitter: @Stories_bySarah Finally, we invite you to join our family friendly Discord server! Please check us out at https://discord.com/invite/sUUJp78r3E. ----- We didn't use any Creative Commons sound effects this time, but we still like to give credit to freesound.org, a fantastic resource for completely free sound effects. We also did not use some any Battlebards sound effects, but check them out at battlebards.com. If you sign up for a Prime account, be sure to use our special code, stack, and you'll get a 20% discount on your subscription. And now, on with the show-- we're excited to tell a story with you.

E4: Nathan Baugh: Finding Your Zone of Genius

Behind The Thread

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 10, 2022 49:32

Today's guest is Nathan Baugh. Nathan has gone from 0 to nearly 90K followers on Twitter in less than a year. His tweets combine incredible storytelling with a focus on sports & business. He had his own newsletter called Sideline Sprint & now runs the World Builders newsletter, which focuses on making you a better storyteller. In this episode, we discuss how Nathan got into writing on Twitter, how he uses the platform to build relationships, the simple formula anyone can use to find their own "Zone of Genius". We also cover everything sports & business including how the modern athlete is taking over VC, the power of athletes owning their own narratives & the life lessons you can learn from sports Socials https://twitter.com/calum_johnson9 https://twitter.com/nathanbaugh27

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The Worldbuilders of Web3

Right Click Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 6, 2022 22:25

RCS Editor-in-Chief Alex Estorick sat down with Krista Kim and Lawrence Lek to talk about their hopes for the metaverse currently under construction

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Creation Corner: Worldbuilders, featuring Dave

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2022 32:50

Creation Corner: This week we get a chance to share some time with Worldbuilder Dave, the dungeon master for the Tomes of the Chaos Bard podcast. Listen in for some great thoughts on how to build incrementally, playing to your strengths to build a living, reactive world that grows with the players and the game's events. Dave and I met through @TTRPGkids, a Twitter account that provides a list of family-friendly podcasts. If you're looking to add to your list of RPG adventure for all ages, be sure to check it out now! To find out more about the podcast, check them out on Twitter at @ChaosBardPod or on Instagram at @tomesofthechaosbard. To directly interact with Dave, you can catch him through the podcast's email address (chaosbardpod@gmail.com) or on Twitter at @GreyJedi505. Finally, we invite you to join our family friendly Discord server! Please check us out at https://discord.com/invite/sUUJp78r3E. ----- We didn't use any Creative Commons sound effects this time, but we still like to give credit to freesound.org, a fantastic resource for completely free sound effects. We also did not use some any Battlebards sound effects, but check them out at battlebards.com. If you sign up for a Prime account, be sure to use our special code, stack, and you'll get a 20% discount on your subscription. And now, on with the show-- we're excited to tell a story with you.

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Episode 93 - Worldbuilder Torchebugne

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Play Episode Listen Later Mar 22, 2022 27:26

Zut alors! We're taking the 13th episode of our Worldbuilders of Altspace series to the south of France to interview Torchebugne. From the coolest discotheques in the metaverse, to inside active volcanos, and even an interstellar NFT art gallery, Torchebugne combines incredible technical skill with that special j'un sais quio.

Creation Corner: Worldbuilders, featuring Jonathan

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Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2022 31:50

Creation Corner: Our experience through our four-year run has led to many new friendships. We continue our Worldbuilder series with one of these friends, fellow DM and podcaster, Jonathan. Join us as we discuss his experience with worldbuilding and learn about some of his thoughts on the process. To interact with Jonathan about his worldbuilding efforts and ideas, you can find him on Twitter at @jongrahar. He also keeps a blog about his work in developing his homebrewed world of Bonsárel and DMing in general on https://sojournersawake.com. And if you're looking for more family-friendly content, definitely check out his podcast, which is also called Sojourners Awake, on all major platforms. Finally, we invite you to join our family friendly Discord server! Please check us out at https://discord.com/invite/sUUJp78r3E. ----- We didn't use any Creative Commons sound effects this time, but we still like to give credit to freesound.org, a fantastic resource for completely free sound effects. We also did not use some any Battlebards sound effects, but check them out at battlebards.com. If you sign up for a Prime account, be sure to use our special code, stack, and you'll get a 20% discount on your subscription. And now, on with the show-- we're excited to tell a story with you.

Episode 92 - Worldbuilder Captain Jack Sparrow

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Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2022 58:39

For our Worldbuilders of Altspace 12 we are joined by a prolific OG whose multitude of worlds are fan favorites here in Altspace. His love of nostalgia and pop culture ooze through the fabric of the metaverse itself with such classics as a replica of Star Tours from Disneyland in the 80s, his various Star Wars worlds including Mos Eisley Cantina and Jabba's Palace, his deep cuts with the Neverending Story, and of course his blockbuster Pirates of the Caribbean world, we are proud to have Captain Jack Sparrow with us.

Creation Corner: Worldbuilders, featuring Koldik

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Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2022 29:20

Creation Corner: We continue our Creation Corner series with our first international guest, Koldik Steelskin. Join us as we discuss an interesting take on magic, and how that can help shape the story in a fantasy world. To interact with Koldik about his worldbuilding efforts and ideas, you can find him on Twitter at @KoldikSteelskin. Also, if you'd like to join our family friendly Discord server, please check us out at https://discord.com/invite/sUUJp78r3E. ----- We didn't use any Creative Commons sound effects this time, but we still like to give credit to freesound.org, a fantastic resource for completely free sound effects. We also did not use some any Battlebards sound effects, but check them out at battlebards.com. If you sign up for a Prime account, be sure to use our special code, stack, and you'll get a 20% discount on your subscription. And now, on with the show-- we're excited to tell a story with you.

Episode 90 - Worldbuilder Andy