My Message Is Love

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: How To Meditate (Even When You Don’t Want To)… and it’s me (Aoife O’Leary) in conversation with Zack Shay as part of her Spirituality In Business series!Today is also my 406th consecutive day of meditation.I have had a habit of meditation for many years, but it had previously been on and off - dedicated for a while, no meditation for another while – you know how it goes!With that kind of practice, though, it became really obvious to me how much better my life works with a practice of daily meditation than without.It still took me years to actually commit to a non-negotiable daily practice. That begs another question: why do we resist or not do the things we know will benefit us?And further… why is being still and silent in life considered strange in life, while being busy in like a badge of honour!?Anyway, the practice of daily meditation has been a game changer in my life and I was delighted to have the opportunity to talk with Zack Shay as part of her Spirituality in Business series and tell her all about it!We also talk about:- How to stop hustling and lean into the feeling- How to bring playfulness into your business and life to help it expand and grow- The choice I made that allowed me to truly commit to daily meditationI hope you enjoy this interview and I would be more than happy to answer any questions you have about meditation or anything else – feel free to email me at copy@mymessageislove.com********Did you like this episode? And do you want to create a change in your life?Go here to find out how: http://www.mymessageislove.com/life-coachingYou might like these episodes too:#31 – Feel Like You’re Made For More Than The Life You Are Living? This Is For You…#26 – Sensitive And Creative? STOP Blocking Yourself!#20 – Live From A Place Of Love (Even On Bad Days)*********If you’re a writer and want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that!You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-courseIf you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoifeMY MESSAGE IS LOVE*********Note:You might like these episodes too:#30 – What Is Book Coaching Anyway?#28 – Want To Write A Self-Help Book? Start Here…#7 – 7 Reasons To Write Your Book*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: Brilliance: Clear Your Inner Obstacles & Let Your Authenticity ShineA few questions for you:· What would it look like for you to live really authentically and be absolutely brilliant in whatever way you desire?· Do you feel disconnected at all from this potential, this brilliance?· What inner obstacles are blocking you?· What would it meant to clear those blocks and let your authenticity shine?I have a special guest interviewee today, and we’re going to talk about all of these things.Amy Lombardo is an author, an expert in personal growth curriculum development and a life coach. In her work, Amy specializes in blending ancient wisdom with modern coaching techniques to deliver programs – and results - that are heart-centered and powerfully practical.In 2016, Amy created the Brilliance Academy for Personal Transformation and Social Change to train and certify aspiring coaches in her integrative approach to empowerment.Her debut book, Brilliance: A Coaching Guide to Clearing Inner Obstacles and Letting Your Authenticity Shine, is in stores on March 26, 2019 and is available on Amazon.Enjoy this conversation that rolls around topics like:- the benefits of deep inner transformational work why it is worth moving through any initial discomfort to do it.- Amy’s guidance about what to do if you feel disconnected, or like you are “ticking over” in life and that the idea of “brilliance” is for other people.- What do to if you feel like you have a message you want to share in life, but feel anxious about promoting or marketing yourself or your work.- How to approach making a difference in life in a world that can seem so big and when it can feel like we are each “just one person”.You can find out more about Amy and her amazing work at http://www.amylombardo.com.Amy’s book “Brilliance: A Coaching Guide to Clearing Inner Obstacles and Letting Your Authenticity Shine, is due out in stores on March 26, 2019 and is currently available for pre-order on Amazon. (https://www.amazon.com/Brilliance-Coaching-Clearing-Obstacles-Authenticity/dp/1928055478/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1543184721&sr=8-1&keywords=brilliance+amy+lombardo)Thank you so much for being here and for watching/reading/listening.*********Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that!You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-courseIf you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoifeMY MESSAGE IS LOVE*********Note:You might like these episodes too:#30 – What Is Book Coaching Anyway?#28 – Want To Write A Self-Help Book? Start Here…#7 – 7 Reasons To Write Your Book*********

Do you have a message that you want to share, but the only problem is that you don’t like being the center of attention?Let me introduce you to Tara Rae Bradford!Tara is a Publicity Strategist and she helps entrepreneurs get featured in the media, reach millions of people and move from feeling like an Imposter to being an influencer – even when they don’t like being the center of attention!Tara herself is an introvert. She left her job as a critical care nurse to pursue her coaching business and media company, Rae media and she has a message for you – that your message is bigger than you and that it’s time to make the global impact you are meant to make.I know you are going to absolutely love this interview!Watch or listen to find out:- what made Tara walk away from her career as a critical care nurse and shift to ultimately become a Publicity Strategist?- the advice Tara offers to introverts or highly sensitive people who feel resistance and discomfort around even the idea of promoting themselves and their work.- the essential things you must have in place before beginning to promote yourself and your work to media.- how Tara’s clients typically respond when they have broken through their fears and secured media and publicity for their message- The advice Tara would give to someone who is unhappy in a career and wants to change, or to someone who wants to start their own business.This interview is GOLD! Enjoy!You can find out more about Tara at http://www.TaraRaeBradford.com where you can receive her Free PR Checklist.Tara’s signature program, Imposter to Influencer begins on 8th April 2019 and she is accepting applications now. For more information go to: https://www.tararaebradford.com/imposter-to-influencer*********Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that!You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-courseIf you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoifeMY MESSAGE IS LOVE*********Note:You might like these episodes too:#34 – Becoming a Freelance Writer#30 – What Is Book Coaching Anyway?#7 – 7 Reasons To Write Your Book*********

Hello and welcome! Today’s episode is called “Why Meditation Will Help You Be A Better Writer.”It’s a buzzword, right? Meditation. You hear lots of people talking about it and swearing by it and saying it’s been life changing.Well, I go along with all that.I do swear by meditation and it has been life-changing for me. In this episode I’m going to tell you more about that. I also want to explain meditation in a way that is clear, gives a sense of how and why meditation might be important, and even life changing, for you and last of all I’ll give you a no-nonsense guide to how to give it a try.Now, straight off let me tell you that you don’t have to be a dedicated yogi or anything like it to do meditation. In fact, meditation is a practical support to mind mastery, relaxation, mental health and creativity – including, of course, writing.Meditation brings you into the present moment. It takes you out of the busy-ness of your mind and helps create stillness and in-the-moment awareness.Know what happens then? You find out what is really important. You start to hear “the signal within the noise”. You get clear about things like how you really feel that you realize you felt. Basically, you open to guidance that you wouldn’t otherwise hear.Mindfulness is an extension of that – it’s true presence, being in the moment in a visceral way. Honestly, how often do we do that? How often are we viscerally present? Not a lot, right? We spend so much time spaced out in our thoughts or thinking about what we are going to say next in a conversation rather than really, fully listening. Or we read a magazine while we are eating or we watch TV kind of half-heartedly.Meanwhile, we’re missing all the juice of life that is there to be savoured – especially in the “ordinary” like eating or talking or other normal parts of living. This “ordinary” is so often where that juice of life really is - especially for us writers and creators.Also, as creators, it’s so important for us to have clarity of mind, clarity of expression, be a true channel for what life is expressing through us. Those moments when we lose time, when we are so in the moment of what we are doing, so connected to those sparks of creativity, all that flow is part of being in alignment and connection with that energy and force of life – and this connection is what we foster through meditation.So let me quickly tell you about my own journey with meditation:For years and years I felt at the whim of my emotions – fearful, full of self-doubt, driven, passionate, anxious. Sometimes up, sometimes down…. Strong but scared. Very tiring.I was a meditation dabbler… for periods of time I was consistent, for periods of time I wasn’t, for periods of time it felt positively blissful, for periods of time it was a real pain. Sometimes it has felt bloody impossible to simply focus my breath for even one breath. Also, for periods of time I meditated in a kind of a transactional way, thinking “I’ll do meditation and that way I can line up with life and get what I want”. So yeah… all of that.Then this year on 1st Jan I became vegan. I had been vegetarian since I was 15 but for some reason being vegan felt like a big decision, and one that I took seriously as a commitment. Honestly, that choice changed me in multiple ways – one of which was meditation.I was doing daily meditation – ish. Then somewhere around March, following a gentle metaphorical kick from my friend – thanks John – I committed to a morning practice that included 20 minutes silent meditation. Every single day. Even if I had to get up at 5am to fit it in. Just sitting still and focusing on my breath -whether that was easy or hard or whatever. Committing to being present and connecting with the bigger part of who I am, who we all are.I did this as a commitment day in day out, not noticing much change. Then after a little while, I realized through noticing how I was reacting to – or not reacting – to events happening around me, that I had changed without even noticing it.For example, on school I was always panicky around exams, but when I did two exams this year for something I’ve been studying, I was calm and relaxed and sat chilled out before sitting for each of them. Easy breezy. And got exactly the top results I wanted. At times when people around me were angry or in situations where I would previously have felt anxious and emotional, I felt calm.When situations emerged for me to speak my truth, I did so before I even realized that I had.I also noticed that I have stopped wanting anyone to change or expecting anyone to be different.I attribute all of this to meditation, which I’ve been doing daily for about 9 months now.Ultimately it brings so much peace in life and, as an added bonus, feelings of deep love. But let me stay on track here.I want you to know that meditation is a tool that is available to you. It’s not necessarily easy for everyone at first, but when you commit to it – and really commit to it – the benefits are endless.We are so cavalier with our thoughts and our minds. We let thoughts run riot and unchecked in our heads, unaware or ambivalent to the fact that our thoughts have so much creative power in our lives.Thoughts lead to feelings. Feelings lead to actions. Actions lead to results. Results lead to beliefs. Beliefs lead to habits. We can do all of this automatically or we can be awake in our lives.Meditation is a way to wake up and be truly present to how and what we are creating.I guide my thoughts throughout the day, but there’s still a lot of nonsense that goes on in this mind sometimes, and I’m guessing your mind and my mind might be a little alike. Having a busy, creative brain is really cool, but sometimes my brain goes into idle thinking that is definitely not what I want to create from.Meditation is a practice that brings me, and can lead you, away from the busy-ness of mind to repeatedly return to your breath. This leads you to return home to the present moment, the now, out of all the noise and the thoughts and the self-identity and distractions of the world and home to the truth of who you are.Ultimately, it leads you to feel better, happier, calmer. It’s really cool.So with all of that in mind, I’m going to give you some simple options about how you might start meditating, the various types of meditation available – even if you think you don’t have the time or your mind is too busy or whatever else you may believe to be true right now!So there are multiple types of meditation – for example:Silent meditation – where you sit in silence for a set amount of time and focus on your breathMantra based – for example TM (Transcendental Meditation), where you focus on a sound or a word.Guided meditation – where someone leads you through a visualization or a sceneand so many more…However, this is your super simple guide to meditation so I won’t get too complicated. I’ll just break it down really simply and give you a starting point. Then you can dive in as deeply as you want from there yourself:So…1. Commit Everything begins with a decision. Decide to commit to mediation. If you’re nervous, you can just think “I’ll give this a go…” and decide to stay committed even if it feels silly or uncomfortable…2. Get comfortableFind a quiet space in a room that is not too warm and not too cold – or out in nature if you’re lucky to live somewhere with a gorgeous climate.Sit in a way you can easily maintain for a little while – sitting upright in a chair is good so that your back is straight, sitting cross legged is good if you are used to that. If you prefer, and are sure you won’t fall asleep, you can lie down.Make sure you won’t be disturbed – phone ringer and vibration off3. Start small Start with a few minutes of meditation only if you like – as little as 1 or 3 or 5 minutes.You can close your eyes, rest your hands gently in your lap. Breathe gently and focus your attention on your breath as it moves in and out of your body. Just notice and be aware of your breathing.You can choose a point to focus on in your body – your heart or the point between your eyebrows or the top of your head. You could focus on the point at your nostrils where the air enters/exits your body if you prefer.Sometimes I like to place my hand on my heart and imagine my energy expanding out into the room I’m in.Experiment with any/all of these things and see what feels best to you.4. Be patientThink of a car going at 120 miles per hour, when it’s going to stop, it takes time for it to slow down and stop. When your mind has been used to racing from thought to thought, it might take some time to slow down enough to be able to be still and quiet. Be patient with yourself in this. Buddhists often talk about “monkey mind” referring to the frantic nature of our thinking. This is natural – our minds are meant to think. However, in meditation you want to remove focus from your thoughts.One trick is to experience your thoughts as clouds – meaning that you see them, but just allow them to pass by without attaching to them.The world has trained us otherwise – to be reactive, to be ego-identified, to be dramatic and offended or angry or whatever. Most of us are not used to stepping outside this and being still. So please be patient with yourself as you retrain yourself and change this.Remember that it really doesn’t matter how often your mind wanders – it will wander. All that matters is that you keep bringing it back.5. Find what works for youThere are days that I feel really resistant to meditating. I now see these as the days I need to most of all! Usually, when I feel very resistant, I use music as a lead in, just as you would start to gently sing to a baby you were trying to calm down to encourage sleep.If you like you can choose music to mediate to – but ideally choose music without words (words make our minds think).Some people like to run or exercise in some way before meditating, others like to do a stream-of-consciousness writing sprint for 10 or 15 minutes first. You can try any or all of this and see what feels best to you.You can try guided meditations. I love the insight timer app – it’s free and there are loads of free guided meditations on there of all lengths, types and languages.If you prefer, you join a meditation group and experiment with different types of meditation if you’d like a little support6. Make meditation part of your life.Periodically throughout your day you can integrate your meditative practice into your life.For example, when you’re stopped at traffic lights, you can practice being really present in your seat and focusing on deeply breathing.If you feel yourself scattered or frustrated or irritated, you can take a moment to find somewhere private – even a restroom – and reconnect and breathe. You can gently ask yourself questions like “How am I feeling in this moment? What am I thinking/believing in this moment?” to become aware and then you can change your thoughts and feelings if you wish.You can introduce more mindfulness into your day – more deep awareness of yourself and your life. You can be more present doing daily tasks like cooking or being present as you eat and really enjoying the flavor of the food, you can bring presence to your conversations (truly listening), bring presence as you listen to music, bring presence as you shower and take time to focus on being thankful for your body, introduce more presence as you walk in nature surrounded by scents and sounds and sensations. Basically, milk all the pleasure in life that you may have been prone to taking for granted.Tying it all togetherI spoke in a recent blog/podcast episode “Made For More” about how we fight against life. We resist what is, but all the while all time, every person, every action in every place and time ever has led up to this point right now. So, ironically, surrendering to this – that life is as it is in the present moment – is where true power is.Meditation is key to this - and to allowing thoughts and feelings to just pass through us, rather than attaching to them and fighting against them.We are human beings. Being is an active word. It’s likely that you’ll have different meditative experiences on different days. Meditation is a practice.Personally, I refer to meditation as “coming home”. I come home to myself, to the deeper understanding of all I am. Sometimes its so peaceful and I feel so full of love and aligned it’s gorgeous. Other days I am present with my breath, still and in the moment. Other days it’s an ongoing mind wandering and bringing it back, mind wandering, I bring it back.But I am committed and I show up, because the peace it brings is such a reward.In that stillness, after that stillness, gorgeous ideas can spark, synchronicities, manifestations, insights, really cool stuff…It starts with becoming still and opening up to the abundant, energetic power we are part of, that creative force and flow we know so well as creative people. Meditation allows us be a clear channel for this flow of life - one breath at a time. I hope this was really helpful for you. Please feel free to ask me any questions you have. For now. I am sending you so much love for your meditative practice and for your writing!Thank you for being here, as always,Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #7 – 7 Reasons To Write Your Book #8 - Writing A Book Is Easier Than You Think!#31 - Feel Like You’re Made For More Than The Life You Are Living? This Is For You…*********

For more about Tracy Durrant and her work, visit http://www.tracydurrant.comTo order Tracy’s book, “Plan It Now! Quit The Burnout Business and Become A Creative Entrepreneur” go to: https://www.tracydurrant.com/books-plan-now/********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #8 - Writing A Book Is Easier Than You Think!#31 - Feel Like You Are Made For More Than The Life You Are Living?#34 - Becoming A Freelance Writer - A How-To Guide to Pitching Articles & Getting Published *********

Hello and welcome to today’s episode which is called “Becoming A Freelance Writer – A How-To Guide To Pitching Articles & Getting Them Published” I get a lot of emails from those of you who want to submit articles to publications or be featured on podcasts or other media in relation to your work, particularly while you are working on your book.So this week’s podcast is all about that.I’m going to go through some steps to take, what research is important to do, the strategy behind your pitch letter and tips that have worked for me and for people I have worked with and various campaigns I have worked on. I’ll tell you a little bit about my background and the experience I have with this kind of thing and then we’ll jump in.But before all of that I want to say a couple of things about the mindset you might choose to adopt in approach to all of this.It can be so uncomfortable for many of us, myself included, to put ourselves “out there” in the world. It might be a fear of being judged or rejected, a fear of being more visible in the world or any other number of things. Sometimes, it’s simply not very nice when you share someone that means to you with someone and they say no.So here’s what can help:If you believe in what you are doing and sharing, stand in the truth of that – regardless of the outcome you may get.Next, focus on what you can give, on how you can help. When you genuinely feel like this and this is your focus, other people can feel it too. A generous and giving approach feels good to all involves. The opposite is when you are needing a particular response, trying to get something. That doesn’t feel good for anyone.As much as possible, be unattached to the response. Adopt attitude of possibility and curiosity. Do your best and be interested in how you can learn, adapt, change, improve your pitching and your suggestions.Again… don’t get disheartened when you get rejections. Notice I said “when” not “if”, because rejections will happen. Years ago I did acting training and actors get a brutal amount of rejections from auditions, but my teachers used to say to me. Remember that if you go in an do the audition of your life, blow everyone away, but Hamlet is cast and he’s 5 foot 4. If you’re 6 foot tall, they’re probably not going to cast you as Juliet.Sometimes what you are offering is just not what people are looking for for what they are working on at that particular time, no matter how good it is. That’s ok.Be patient, be persistent and your work will pay off.So, 60 seconds about my background in all of this. My training is actually in Journalism. I’m a qualified Journalist. I’m working, through My Message Is Love, as a book editor and book coach, a copy coach and an occasional copywriter. I write copy for myself and others, and I’ve worked on PR campaigns for my own projects over the years and for other people and companies and bands too. So I’ve have lots of experience pitching and getting articles featured and multi-media placements and all of that and today I’m going to help you with all of that too.So here is my advice for you:1. Get clear in yourself and your own brand.Know what you are all about. Know what you stand for, know what you have to share with the world, know who your work is for, know how you can help, know the story behind why you came to do what you do, know what is unique about you and what you do, know what your “zone of genius” is (that’s a term from the book, “The Big Leap”, by Gay Hendricks) and it refers to the areas where you shine, skills that come naturally to you, but that you absolutely love to do.Having this clarity is fundamental. The clearer you are in relation to yourself and what you want to promote and share, the clearer other people will be in relation to you and the more likely they will be to want to connect with you.So before you begin any pitching, be really clear about how you want to present yourself to the world.You can answer these questions in relation to your art or project or business or brand – or whatever it is you want to promote: What do you do? Who is it for? Who is best helped through your work?What do you I stand for?What is the story behind how you came to do what you do? (Your “why?”)What is unique about you and what you do?What is your “zone of genius”, those areas where you shine, skills that come naturally to you, but that you absolutely love to do? That’s your starting point. Get really clear and make sure all of this rolls off your tongue in conversation and that it’s obvious that you are absolutely grounded in what you are doing. If you believe it, we’ll believe it.2. Prep work - make your list.Start by making a list of publications and podcasts you would like to be featured on. Don’t think at this stage, just put everything down on the page.When you’re making your list of where you’d like to be featured, include the specific name and title of the people who are in charge of the area where you want to be featured – for example the contact name for the overall editor of the health and wellness section or something like that.Don’t rule out smaller publications and podcasts. When you’re featured in smaller publications, you build experience and your body of work. When you’re featured in smaller podcasts, you get practice doing interviews and can really improve as an interviewee.Also, a lot of these kinds of things can come down to relationships and connections. As people, we love to refer people we know, so mutually beneficial relationships are always a good thing.3. The researchResearch the people and publications you are targeting really, really well. Dig into their past issues and episodes, check for most regularly featured themes, see if there is an overall style of writing that they seem to favor, be alert and analytical.Research the contacts for the area you want to be featured in. Research the past articles your contact has written so you have an insight into what types of articles they’re interested in or if they have causes or hobbies that they are passionate about that you can weave in to your suggestions for articles in some way.Know which publications will most likely be interested in what you have to offer and which ones won’t and make an educated choice about where is best for you to target.Publications have a strict adherence to a brand ethos and will be very careful about who they feature, so do your research and make it a no-brainer that they feature you! 4. Drafting your pitch emailThere are a few key rules here:- make it personal- make it beneficial to them and their audience- make it easy to contact you- make it concise- make it clear that they can trust youSo let’s go through those key rules one at a time.“Make it personal” means to make it absolutely clear to the person you are contacting that you know all about their publication, who it’s for, what they are looking for in terms of articles and so on.Get a direct contact. I can’t over-emphasize the difference this makes. You can research people on social media, especially on LinkedIn. If necessary, make a phone call to or email the publication or podcast or wherever to confirm you have the right contact.Make it clear to them that you have a real interest and understanding and have done your research.“Make it beneficial to them and their audience” means that when you are suggesting articles or features you can create you are doing it with them - with the publication - in mind.Introduce yourself to them briefly and share what you are about in one or two sentences (as we went through in point 1).Suggest two or three ideas only of how you feel you could contribute for them in a way that will be really of interest and benefit for their audience.Generally, publications like when you can come up with a slightly different slant on something they are talking about. You can say something like “I notice some of your biggest features are in relation to X and Y. I have an idea for Z that introduces a new perspective on this.”Another thing you’ll notice from features in magazines is where an article is based on an overall theme and three or four perspectives are introduced through the stories of people who work in different areas of that.For example, an article might have a theme of introducing the business of coaching and might feature perspectives and life stories from a book coach, a fitness coach, a mindset coach and a financial coach. That sort of thing. So you could team with 2 or 3 friends or colleagues to pitch something like that to a relevant publication.“Make it easy to contact you” means to be sure that wherever you are asking people to link to or wherever you are asking people to call WORKS. Perfectly.If you’re including a link to your website, make sure it’s in the best shape possible and that all links work. Make sure that your best content or most worthy stuff - basically what you want them to see first - is prominently displayed.“Make it concise” is a rule that shows you respect the person you are contacting, that you respect their time and that you are, again, thinking of them and getting to the point of what you have to offer.It’s so much more valuable when people want to find out about you and go doing their research on you because you have piqued their interest and curiosity than including paragraphs and paragraphs about yourself that they haven’t asked for.Everything I have mentioned, really, ties in to “make it clear that they can trust you”. When you show you are well researched, that you have your ducks in a row in relation to your own projects and that you are thinking of their audience and that all the links you send them to work… that inspires a level of trust in you and your ability that is crucial when you are pitching.5. Remember to follow upEmails get lost. Other projects take over. Deadlines take priority. Life happens.So don’t be afraid to politely follow up with someone about your email, ask if there is any additional information you could provide or if they would like you to call back on a day when they have time to talk.Every person is different, so make your best judgment about how receptive someone might be to a suggestion like this or whether it’s best to just move on.6. If you hear “No”. Please don’t be discouraged if people say no to you. It is going to happen.You can reframe this as an opportunity to learn, to take a fresh look at what you’ve submitted and make sure to identify improvements you can make, to recommit and to go again.If you have had direct contact with the person who said no, you can ask him/her if they might be able to help you by sharing why they passed at this time and ask if there is anything you could change for future submissions.The bottom line is to just keep going and improving until you get the result you are looking for. The possibilities are really endless.Ultimately, you want to make it a no-brainer for somebody to feature an article you suggest or feature you or collaborate with you.So there you go! I hope this has been really helpful to you and feel free to reach out to me if you have any further questions. You can pop over to the blog and post a question in the comments so everybody can learn from what you ask and we can continue the conversation there.Thank you for being here and for reading and I wish you lots of success with your pitching and please do let me know how you get on!Wishing you, as always, lots and lots of happy writing,Aoife************ Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #7 – 7 Reasons To Write Your Book #8 - Writing A Book Is Easier Than You Think!#13 - How To Not Care What People Think About You Or Your Work*********

Want to write a novel?This episode is for you!! Today I’m interviewing Megg Geri, novel writing coach and author of “How To Write A Novel in 30 Days”.Megg talks about things like:• the key elements necessary for a great novel• how to create characters that really “come to life” and that your readers can feel a deep connection with• the fears and stumbling blocks Megg notices most writers struggle with• when to begin building your author platform• Megg’s advice to authors who are at the very beginning and starting outMegg also has a special gift for you! Megg Geri’s Digital Surprise Kit - http://get.megg.me/digitalsurpriseYou can buy Megg’s book, “How To Write A Novel in 30 Days” here: getBook.at/megg********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #2 - Writers Write - How To Find Your Reliable Creative Flow #7 – 7 Reasons To Write Your Book #8 - Writing A Book Is Easier Than You Think!*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: How to be productive and make progress when you’re multi-passionate and hyper-creative. Have you got a beautifully bionic creative brain – bursting with new ideas all the time, full of creativity and compelling you to go in multiple directions at once?Well, hello, my kindred spirit and friend! Today’s episode is for you!So… I can empathize. There are so many interesting and cool things to potentially spend time on in life, but the problem therein is if you go off following every idea you have, here’s what happens: not much.You can’t make proper progress with anything, that leads to you feeling unfulfilled and that so often leads to losing faith in yourself, feeling overwhelmed, getting demoralized…Saying:“I start things but I don’t finish them”“I have too many ideas and I don’t know what to focus on”“I’m completely overwhelmed”and so on…Well… today I am going to share what has worked for me and what I trust will be helpful for you too!First of all I’m going to tell you what you want to hear and then what you don’t want to hear.What you want to hear is that you can work on all the ideas that excite you.What you don’t want to hear is that you can’t do it all at once – you have to choose – or at least you have to choose if you want to progress and be effective.See, I have done that thing before of working on multiple projects at the same time and here’s what happens: everything moves at a snail’s pace and that is completely disheartening for people with fast-paced, creative brains like ours.Also, no project gets the attention and focus that it truly deserves – the absolute investment in it – and that’s just not a good idea, to do something that means to you in a non-committal way.So here are five simple tips about how to be at peace with your multi-passionate nature AND how to be productive within it:#1Embrace this creative, free-flowing part of yourself.Welcome it, enjoy it! Let it flow.Here’s what really helps me: I keep a notebook with me all the time and I fill each one up as I go about life - with new ideas for blogs/episodes for My Message Is Love, with music related ideas for new songs or videos, with ideas for a health-based project I’m working on. I jot down ideas for programs or businesses or even ideas for other people I know and their projects!! All of it!Putting all the ideas that come to me in a notebook really helps me feel like I’m going with the flow of creativity and noting whatever feels significant to me.Then what I do when I come to the end of a notebook is I take out the pages and I file the ideas for each project in a separate folder-specific project in my desk. So whenever I am devoting time to a specific project all the ideas I have been having are there in the same place.It’s so simple, right? But it means I can embrace and allow my daily creative free flow, I file the pages in project-specific folders and all the ideas are there for when I want to dive in to them.If you choose to do this, you can have different coloured pens to write the name of the project your ideas are for at the top corner of each page, so if you need to refer back to something you can easily find it.I never feel overwhelmed because I always know exactly what my priority is right now and that’s what I focus on – but we’ll get to that in point 3.So…Would this work for you? Or would it suit you better to use something digital like Trello or Evernote so that you can keep notes on your phone?What could you put into place to keep your ideas organized?#2Get rooted and grounded.Trying to do lots of things at once so that nothing really gets done and you feel frazzled (been there!) is a very unfocused way to be.What helps is really grounding and trusting.Meditation helps. Being in nature helps – especially walking on grass in bare feet or wading in the sea helps. Sitting on the ground and breathing.Life is happening right now in the present moment. Being off in another land in our minds can be fun, but can also feel a little ungrounded sometimes.Bringing attention to the present moment and really being here – you can even repeat to yourself, “I am here” – changes your energy and puts you in a better position to focus and to execute.As Louise Hay said: “The point of power is always in the present moment”So… what one step could you take to bring yourself more groundedness and rootedness in your life?#3Find the essenceSo you’ve got a whole load of creativity and interests, that’s great.But there is, I will bet, a signal in the noise. There is your mission behind doing whatever it is you are feeling called to me.This has been key for me. I used to feel pulled in all different directions with ideas, until I got this bit:Find the essence of what you want to express and create.So for me, my message is love. That’s it.My mission is to be, and to help you to be, a channel for Love in the Universe through being you and doing what you love and feel called to do – especially through writing.That’s very clear, right? This is the core element in anything and everything I do.All the projects I have and the work I do are based around writing, music and life.Obviously I can’t give each of these my full focus at the one time, so I have priorities within them. I work on My Message Is Love every day. I work on music every week. They give me a nice balance.Other projects, I work on usually in blocks of time periodically – just like I would if I was attending a course or something.This way I get to enjoy the variation, but I am very clear about what gets the lion’s share of my time and energy. Everything else is saved in folders for when it’s that project’s time to take centre stage – whenever that may be.I can’t tell you the peace of mind this clarity brings!So what is the essence of what it is you are feeling called to create?You may need to do a little free writing around this, stream-of-consciousness writing where you just let the pen flow. Start with phrases like: “What is really important to me in life is….” or “What I know I can help people with and share with people is…” and see if you can tease out what is driving you, what the essence behind what you are called to create is.#4Know that not every idea you have is meant to be followed through on – even when it’s a good one! I know that could be hard to hear because I used to resist this so much! But consider that maybe some ideas are meant to spark other ideas for us. Maybe we’re meant to enjoy being in the magic of life and creativity. Maybe some ideas are tapping in to the energy around you at a given time - I don’t know!But what I do know is that not feeling the need to follow through on every idea can actually feel like such a relief. You are then free to choose what you want to prioritise and work on now.Trust. That whatever you are meant to do will get done. That you are in the right place at the right time, and that everything is ok. No pressure.Maybe the other ideas get saved for later, maybe they get let go… but when you take the pressure off needing to execute on it all, you give yourself freedom to really execute on what matters most.So… what could you let go of?#5Clarity and CompletionClarity comes from doing, from experience. If you think of it, the reality of anything is almost always different to the plan for it or expectation of it.So you won’t know how you really feel about something until you are in the flow of it, in the experience of it.Here’s something else… as you gain clarity and experience and make progress, your confidence builds, you learn, you change and what you want changes and what your ideas lead to.You need a free and curious mind to do best creative work – so make sure to be open and to enjoy this process.It makes sense to focus and see the momentum build. Completion is so good for the mind and for building trust in yourself – and you can learn to execute and complete projects even quicker! Then you actually do get to do more!I find that 2 projects at a time is the sweet spot for me – any more and I get overwhelmed. I usually have one priority project and a second that I work on less. It seems to keep me interested but I also get to focus. And I can change the balance from week to week.So two questions for you…- Where do you have clarity about what you are creating or want to create?- Where do you want to gain clarity?Ultimately, he key is this: when you are welcoming your ideas and you trust yourself – you can know that whatever is showing up is showing up in perfect time and perfect way. As you save your ideas you can know they are there for whenever it is their time to take center stage - if they ever do. Not every idea needs to be acted upon –some ideas are a stepping stone to other ideas and creativity. That’s the nature of creativity - to flow. When you focus on what means most to you, you get more clarity, make progress and everything you do will support everything else. In the next few weeks I will have a podcast episode about creating habits – how to create the great new ones and easily dump the old, outdated ones. So definitely watch out for that!In the meantime, I hope that was helpful! Please do let me know how you get on…As always, I wish you LOTS of happy writing,Aoife xo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #13 – How To Not Care What People Think About You (Or Your Work)#14 – Make A Real Difference With Your Writing#19 – Procrastinating? Stuck In Perfectionism? Listen To this...*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: Feel like you’re made for more than the life you are living? This is for you…I’m noticing a theme being very present for some of the people around me in life and online – and it’s definitely one that’s been present for me too from time to time.I hear people talking about their lives with dissatisfaction, saying things like:· I thought I’d be further along by now.· I’ve been working so hard but it doesn’t seem like I’m making any progress.· I can’t seem to create the changes I want in my life – nothing works.· I’m lost. I don’t know what my next step is.· I thought it would be different.Kind of an “is this it?” sort of a feeling.Maybe this is how you’re feeling now in your life, or maybe you know somebody who feels like this. Either way, you’re tuning in to a podcast called My Message Is Love, and my mission with My Message Is Love is to be, and to help you be, a channel for love in the Universe. Love, in this case, being a creative, expansive energetic force.So if you here and you resonate with that and you feel like you’re made for more than the life you’re living, then you ARE – and you can create that life. Everything begins in our imagination and from where we are right now. They’re the first two important parts – to acknowledge and be present with where you are and how you feel right now, even if that’s uncomfortable, and to envision where you want to go next, what you want to create… what you CAN create. We are more powerful than we feel – or than the Western World media and social systems want us to believe - and it is our energy, not money, that is the true currency in the world.Your energy includes your voice, what you stand for in the world – what you communicate through your life, your writing, through what you love to do, what means to you.So how do go about this? If you feel like you are made for more… how do you go about creating the change you’re wanting?Well, I’m going to share what works for me, as I continue to step more fully into being myself in life and being proud of the person I am, in the hope and trust that some of it will be valuable for you. I used to be so hard on myself, where nothing I achieved was enough, where I continuously worried about what others thought about me and tried to control their perception of me. I worked so hard at all I did and nothing I ever did or achieved was good enough for me.Skip to now, where regardless of how life looks on a daily basis in relation to any project or situation, I feel at peace and happy in my self almost every day of my life.This, unfortunately for us all, is not something that is truly valued in life. Imagine if I posted something like “How I made a million dollars in a week”, that would be a headline all over the place – that’s the sort of thing the world values. Fair enough. The truth is, though, that nothing at all feels like it matters unless we are happy in ourselves.So here we go!I’d love to hear how this resonates with you, by the way, so feel free to leave a comment on the blog – http://www.mymessageislove.com/blog-articles/made-for-more – or email me at copy@mymessageislove.com1. Give yourself a break.Be kinder to yourself in the words you use to yourself and release the pressure you are putting on yourself.So often we would not tolerate someone else speaking to us the way we speak to ourselves. It’s time to cut that cruelty out and be loving in how we treat ourselves.It’s a matter of being here now.If you think of this moment… all time up to this moment, all of the people who have lived, all the actions they’ve ever taken, everywhere in the whole entire world … all of that has led to this moment right now. Life is as it is. So fighting against all that is going to feel really frustrating. Think of it: “I wish this moment wasn’t as it is!” That is pretty futile, because this moment is what is - is. Life IS.So your power lies, ironically, in surrendering to that. Accepting that you are where you are for better or worse. You may need to feel the feeling associated with that. You may feel upset or angry or that it’s not fair how your life is. Be honest about your feelings and feel them. Get professional help if you need to.Ultimately, you will get to a place when you can say, “Ok, so I’m here. Now… what’s next?”2. Get connectedIt’s kinda hard to create big change on our own. So many moving parts!But there is an infinite organizing energy at work – one that never ceases to amaze me!So when I spoke about how my mission with My Message Is Love is to be, and to help you be, a channel for love in the Universe…Love is that force of nature at work, of love at work, of expansion, of growth, of creativity. Named by different people as Universal Source energy, Divine Love, God… Whatever you call this energy doesn’t matter, it’s how you perceive and experience it that is key.When you feel more in connection with this Love, you enable it to work through you in your life and to help you create your deepest, purest desires.How do you do this?Prioritize making this connection.Take time in meditation, learning to quiet your mind and be stillSpend time in nature – in a forest or by waterDo what makes you feel in connection – gardening, playing an instrument…The idea is to quiet the thinking, reasoning, analytical brain and to create the space to just be.Eliminate “noise” and distraction from your life - newspapers, TV, gossip, alcohol etc. Notice in this moment how resistant you are to that suggestion…When you make a habit of cultivating this stillness and connection, you are more open and able to hear the guidance Life is whispering to you.You’re also moving away from the sense of being just an individual and opening to the idea of being part of life in a broader way, of a Oneness with life.We’re getting intuitive guidance all the time in life – when you feel the nudge to check out a course on the internet, or that “no, I’ll go this way” decision when you’re driving… That’s all the “bread and butter” type guidance – the basics.There is so much more available to you, but it means believing that is possible, and it means being open to receive it.When you’ve created the habit of being in stillness and being connected, here is where you can open to guidance about what you feel called to do or create, if you’re not sure what it is already.The truth is that it’s often less about WHAT we do and more about HOW we do it, it’s about us being ourselves – and that expression is the important part.If you feel you’re made for more, but can’t imagine what, look to your childhood – what did you love to do? what could you “lose time” at? Or what did you wish you could do that you never got the opportunity to?Give yourself that opportunity now! What things would you like to try now – doesn’t matter how random? Do them!3. Nurture yourselfTake care of yourself! Self-care is not something you do when you’ve ticked off everything else on a list, it’s what you do fundamentally to care for and support yourself on every level.You are worth caring for in a deep and thorough way and because, nothing in your life will work to it’s optimum unless you do!So I’m talking about everything from hydration, diet (lots of fresh vegetables), exercise, sleep to connection with people you love and who are good for you to be around, to play and adventure and fun and stimulation, new experiences. You know what you need. Take care of yourself. Only when your cup is overflowing can you easily give.4. Clear out the oldClear out what doesn’t serve you.These things can tend to naturally come to the surface to be released when you begin to take time in quiet, but you know what I’m talking about…Old hurts and resentments – heal them.Old thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve you – let them go.Worn out things, clutter, items you don’t need – throw them out.Habits that you no longer need – change them.You get the idea.Anything that isn’t for your highest good now is keeping you stuck in the past and you don’t need that. Shake it off.Now this, to my mind, is the “work”… this is the cutting out what is familiar and easy but does not serve you.It’s catching your habitual feelings and thoughts and shifting them. Again and again. It’s a pain. It may feel like it’s pointless. Then one day you will notice that it has all worked.We get so committed to our “stories” so if you’re new to this, know that they can be stubborn when you decide to change them, but you’re the boss of you! Be consistent and it WILL work.5. DecideDecide that you are going to create the changes you want in your life.Commit.Commit to going deeper into questioning, into learning, into doing. The answers are within you.You may want to write a book, share your life experience, make a documentary, start a business or disappear somewhere silent to meditate…Well, whatever it is, start by committing to it!This is your life and it’s happening NOW. Honour that, honour yourself, honour the desires you have.6. Take a stepWhen you have done the calming down, connecting, deciding and clearing out, it’s action time.Action is so much more effective when it is energetically aligned – when you are acting from a place of clarity and inspiration, rather than taking action to try to get a specific result.Do what you feel called to do.That might mean:You start by setting some time aside every day or every week to write. You book a desk in a co-creative space to start working on your business.You get your family on board to leave you alone for an hour every day to something creative.You invest in yourself and your vision by hiring a coach.You go to watch a basketball game or two before you take the step to sign up for a team.Your intuition will tell you what is the next step for you – it’ll be the one that feels a bit scary and uncomfortable but also exciting. That’s the sweet spot.You don’t necessarily need to know your final destination with all of this. Maybe you do, but you don’t need to. The important part is to do the workThis bit is important: you only need to focus on one step. The one you’re doing right now.As the ancient Chinese proverb says, “A journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step.”7. Share bravely and boldlyEnjoy being you and sharing you as you feel called to. Shine your light. Be unapologetic.If it feels scary to share your work with the world, get some support. This might come in the form of some friends and family or a mastermind group. It might be from an accountability partner or a coach or mentor or a therapist – whatever feels right to you.It doesn’t matter if someone doesn’t like it or doesn’t approve. That’ll happen from time to time. They’re entitled to their opinion.Have your own back. Learn to refer to yourself, not others. Once you can fully stand behind what you have created and your intention behind it,that is all that matters. Self-validate. Then believe me, when what you do helps someone, it’s a very lovely thing.8. Enjoy it!This is your life and it’s happening now. It’s about the journey, not the destination.The work is play!Practice relaxing into life and being supported by this expansive life energy that is there.Life is supposed to feel good and our attitude can determine so much of that.Allow yourself be more open and easy and relaxed, relax the perfectionism and lean into the pleasure. Let yourself change your mind. Take baby steps.You get to do something you love, you get to stretch your ideas about what is possible for you, you get to try something new, you get to impact people in a great way through your life and your work. You get to gently and lovingly challenge yourself! How cool is all that? Personally, I believe that life is supposed to work, supposed to flow, supposed to be fun. I believe that what we love to do, being our best selves and serving ourselves and others through that IS our work in the world. That’s where the magic of life is – and the more we can get out of our own way mentally, the more we give Life space to be all of those things and to flow.So there you go! I hope you really enjoyed this episode. I’d be so thankful if you enjoy this podcast if you could rate it and leave a review for me. Thank you for being here, thank you for being YOU in the world, and, as always, I wish you happy writing!********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #26 – Sensitive and Creative? Stop Blocking Yourself! #18 – Just Have A Day#6 – Be The Anomaly (In Your Writing and Life)*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “What Is Book Coaching Anyway?”Writing a book is not a small endeavor.It's true.It's more than just the research or the writing of words or the doing the work or the putting yourself ‘out there’.Writing a book is potentially life changing.Why?It is because writing a book demands that you to look deeply into yourself and it calls for you to share your message and your creativity fully and energetically and unapologetically. It calls for you to overcome any fears or resistance - anything that has stopped you before now. It leads you to up-level and to go all-in.It's a transformational experience.(Read also: Writing A Book Is Easier Than You Think)It’s not just life changing for you, though. Think about the people whose lives can be helped through reading your book and through your work. Think of all the people you can reach through your book. Think of how their lives can be impacted through your writing and your work.When you have a deep desire to write a book you can feel it pulling at you and calling to you. You can feel the call to take the step and pour your time, your energy, your passion, your heart and your soul into writing.This core desire and yearning is a driving force that will ultimately fuel your writing process - and you have to really want to write a book, because there is time and energy involved in doing the work and following through. It can be an intense process.As I said, though, it is not a small endeavor. You have to want it.It demands a willingness from you to go deep, to be honest, to have faith and to trust. It demands being open to your intuition and inner guidance and being willing to follow this intuition and be guided. It demands creating a sacred space to create and setting boundaries that support your creativity.It’s normal to need a little help.When you're writing a book, it's normal to find yourself a bit stuck in parts. It’s normal to feel a tangible resistance around what you are writing or the writing process itself. It's normal to get so immersed in what you are doing that you can lose sight of where you are going or feel overwhelmed.This is where book coaching comes in.A Book Coach is someone who works with you throughout your writing process to support you, to help you troubleshoot any sticky parts, to keep you moving through any resistance and to keep you honest - honest both with yourself and honest in your writing.A Book Coach is someone who understands this process, having worked through it with authors before, and is someone who is perfectly placed to helping support you as you write your book and share your message with the world.Here's an example of how it works:At the outset of writing your book, you work through the practicalities of your book writing – what your book is about, who your book is for, what your message is, what is unique about your story and your message. You get crystal clear about where you are going in your writing process and how you want this to feel.Next, you map out your outline and get to work, generally have a coaching call at regular intervals throughout the writing of your book. On these calls, you work through whatever you need to in relation to writing your book.For example, this might mean going deeper into what you’ve written since your previous call, so you can work out what is key and what can be discarded or adjusted. It might mean focusing some attention on what’s next on your writing agenda.You might want to work on your tone of voice or the structure of the book if either needs to change in some way.Sometimes coaching calls can be a place to work through any fears or resistance you feel – helping to tease emotions out and get you back feeling good and in flow with your writing again.Coaching calls are a great way to prepare for areas where you anticipate feeling a little stuck – maybe more sensitive or personal topics or ones you feel resistance to writing. When you work on these areas in advance, not only do you get your ideas clear and focused, but you get your brain and energy lined up and pre-processing, which can serve to make the actual writing part much easier.You can also take some time to focus on building your author platform, the platform for your book, and to talk about how you can prime your audience to receive your book.Not least of all, book coaching gives you valuable accountability, keeps you on track and motivated and gives you an ally throughout your book writing process.Finding your creative flow.When you are willing to do this work, you find your unique creative flow. When you support yourself, you give yourself space for your writing to flow freely. In fact, when you anchor in to your creative process and what works best for you, you will be beautifully surprised by what opens up for you and where your writing leads you - and by how easy it is!Finding the right book coach.When you are intending to hire a book coach, a few things are important:- Make sure your book coach is experienced and is someone who you can trust. Find a book coach who has gone through this writing process before and who is able to properly support you throughout your writing journey.- Make sure your book coach is someone you feel a connection with. If you are working with a book coach on an ongoing basis on something as personal as a book, it’s important that this person “gets” you and “gets” the message you want to share with the world. Since you are reading this blog, I know that you are a creative and sensitive person, so it is important for you to be working with someone on an ongoing basis who you feel supported by and who you resonate with.- Do your research and feel free to set up calls with book coaches you are drawn to. Ask any questions you have. Make sure that you are on the same page and that you are a good fit for working together.- When you commit – commit! Go all in and really give your writing process 100%. Do the work. Show up. It’s an absolute blessing to create in this way and writing truly is sacred and special – so enjoy the process.I hope this is helpful for you!I get asked so many times about book coaching that I can barely believe it has taken me so long to write a blog about it!I am a Book Coach and if you are looking for a Book Coach I would be delighted to talk with you!You see, writing a book is deeply rewarding and transformational process. If you know it's for you, the time to start is NOW! Why wait?If you're ready to get started, CLICK HERE to find out how to work with me.Thank you for being here. I hope you learned something that is really helpful for you!I wish you lots of happy writing!Aoife xo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #16 - Book Creation - A Simple Step-By-Step Strategy #22 – How To Build An Audience For Your Book (Even If You Haven't Written It Yet!) #25 - Why You NEED Beta Readers For Your Book (... And How To Get The Best From Them)*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called “How To Get The First Draft of Your Book DONE!”I talk so often with people who feel deeply called to write a book.They tell me that have been thinking about it FOREVER, they might have extensive notes made – even if that’s just in their mind, they may have started writing… they really want to write their book.They say to me “I wish I could KNOW exactly what I need to do to get the first draft of my book DONE!”Well, your wish is my command!In this episode, I am going to outline a 7 step process – 7 things you absolutely need to know to get the first draft of your book done. I’m including an action step for each one and I have a free writing course for you too.Let's get to it!Step 1. Know your messageBe clear. In order to get the first draft of your book done, you need clarity and direction.Your message is like your mission statement. It’s the absolute crux of what you want to say.You might have a ton of stuff you want to share through your book – lots of knowledge to impart, loads of interesting stories to tell, but the message of your book is the through-line throughout everything you write, throughout your whole book.It’s what you want your reader to take away from reading your book.So consider this… @@What is the message of the book you are going to write?@@It could be something like this: “It’s ok. I know things are tough for you now, but this WILL pass. It will get better. You’ve got this.”Or it could be “You have all you need within you to get where you want to go. You are your own guru.”So what is the core message of the book you are going to write?Action step: Complete this sentence: “If there is 1 thing I would love for my reader to take away from reading my book it is that __________________________”Step 2. Know who you are writing forAgain, this point relates to clarity and direction. When you know who you are writing for and you know what your message for them is, you’re off to a fabulous start.So… be sure that you really know who your ideal audience is and know how you can help them.Ultimately, this involves having a deep understanding of who your ideal readers are, what the circumstances of their life are, what they are wanting to learn from you/what problem they want help solving.Really get to know your ideal readers and find out what language they use, what thoughts they think, what their deep feelings and motivations are. Understand what they need from you and how can you help them.Action step: Interview as many people as you can who are part of your ideal audience. Ask them questions, but mostly listen. Really get to know and understand themStep 3. Know your ‘why?’This is so important. Your “why” is your driving motivation, your fuel.It’s important to have a strong 'why?' Why are you doing this work for you? I know you want to help people, but that’s not the whole part of it. Why do you want to write this book? How does it benefit you?Knowing your deep why is something you can come back to when you hit demanding and/or challenging stages in your writing process. It can also serve as a sort of “north star” throughout your writing process, helping you stay focused and on track.Action step: Answer this: Why do you want to write this book?Step 4. Know what you want to includeWrite down everything you cannot write your book without including.Have a notebook and bring it with you everywhere you go and make a note of all the ideas that spark something within you in relation to your book.You can be selective in time, but when you are starting out you want to be wide open to ideas and inspiration and creativity in relation to your book.Once you set this creativity in motion, your mind will spark with ideas at random times and you’ll find inspiration from all sorts of things. Be prepared and make note of it all.When you have created this habit and you are in the flow of creativity, you will be receiving ideas all the time, making getting your first draft done much easier and much more fun.Action step: Buy a notebook and begin jotting down your ideas.Step 5. Know what stories you want to shareWhat personal stories do you want to share to help illustrate the points you are making in your book?Make sure you are sharing with your reader in mind. How is what you share going to help them more deeply understand your message or where you are coming from? How is what you share going to be inspiring for them?Knowing what you want to share – and why you want to share it – is really important and helps to allow you to be in a writing flow.Here’s something else to be clear about: Be clear about what you don’t want to share and where your boundaries are. What you don’t share is, arguably, as important as what you do share. (Here's a BLOG I wrote about story writing that will help.)You want to share in a way that is helpful for your reader, rather than sharing just for the sake of it. You also want to set boundaries about what you are share and stand behind.Taking the time to make these decisions will really support you in your writing flow and will support you in getting the first draft of your book done.Action step: As you note important messages you want to include within your book make notes beside them about what stories you want to share illustrate these points – and how they will help your reader.Step 6. Know your step-by-step strategyThere is a simple step-by-step strategy for writing a book, and this helps you by giving you a structure for your writing.This strategy guides you to outline your chapter titles and map out exactly what to include in each chapter.It’s basically the nuts and bolts of writing a book.I’ve created a course to walk you through this strategy for writing your book in clear and simple detail. The good news for you is that this course is completely Free – no strings. It’s called “How To Write A Self-Help Book”, but it adapts well for any non-fiction or memoir too, and you can get it HERE.Action step: Sign up for – and complete – the “How To Write A Self-Help Book” CourseStep 7. Start Writing!The only way to get the first draft of your book done is to start it! Start writing!!You writing is really important, because believe me when I tell you that you can make a real difference with your writing. You CAN help people and your voice IS unique in the world. So please do start!Action step: Write - even set a timer for 5 minutes today and do it! Write.There is so much more I could share with you, but I think that is plenty to get started!However, if you are absolutely ready to write your book and would like my help, I work 1:1 as a book coach and book editor. CLICK HERE to find out more about how you can work with me.Thank you so much for reading, and as always, I wish you lots and lots of happy writing.Aoife xo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that!You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.com********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #7 – 7 Reasons To Write Your Book #14 - Make a Real Difference With Your Writing#15 - 5 Secrets To Attention Grabbing Stories*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “Want To Write A Self-Help Book? Start Here…”You want to write a self-help book. Well, first off, I applaud you! I love your generosity of spirit and your caring, desiring to use your experience and knowledge to help others.I have read and learned from so many self-books, and have been involved in the writing process of quite a few self-help books at this stage, so I am excited to share this episode with you and tell you about why writing a self-help book is a little different and what you need to consider.So, first off, when I say “self-help” book, this is a pretty broad term – and it can include books that involve more of a memoir aspect, or more of a “how to” aspect or something else.For example, I read a lot of metaphysical books or books about neuroscience and psychology, and some of them could loosely fall into the “self-help” genre.With that being said, here are the five elements that I believe make writing a self-help book a little different.So let's take a look at them today:1. The Element Of Transformation.Generally, in a self-help book, the author is guiding the reader through a transformational process and aiming to inspire or guide the reader to believe that they can create a change in his/her life.So it’s about an experience.You, as the author, are establishing yourself as an expert or an authority. Don’t be put off by that word, ‘expert’, because you only need to be a few steps ahead of the person you are teaching in order to help them. In fact, if you were too far ahead of them in your journey, it may be difficult for them to relate to you.If you're not comfortable with the words "expert" or "authority", a better word for you might be, "experienced". You are setting yourself up as being experienced in this topic you are writing about.Whatever word feels right to you, it’s important for you to stand strong as a writer and to share with truth and with confidence. This can help your reader feel confidence in you and have faith that you can guide them through the transformation you are outlining in your book.This leads us to the next element:2. The Element Of ConnectionThe best way to create connection and engagement is through stories. You can tell your own stories or you can tell the stories of your clients.Share with honesty and integrity, with vulnerability - but share with strength. Share simple truth. (You can read more about how to make a difference with your writing in this BLOG)Share stories that support the message you want to share, the emotions you want to generate.You may want to share stories that communicate your understanding of a situation your reader may be in and that help your reader generate the belief and faith that they have the ability to create the change they are wanting.We are emotional creatures. As Abraham-Hicks says, “Words don’t teach, only experience teaches.” Well, through your words and your stories – your experience - you can create an experience in your reader, you can inspire them.3. The Element of TrustConnection involves the elements of deep engagement and trust. It’s important that your reader trusts you.How you tell your stories is an important factor in building trust. (Here's is a link to a BLOG I wrote about writing compelling stories.)You can share your truth in a way that inspires your reader. This generally means that whereas you may share honestly about some difficulty or adversity you experienced, you keep your focus on the overcoming of it, with a view to inspiring in your reader that they can too.I hope that makes sense.By all means, share what you feel called too, but if it’s a self-help book you are writing, the focus is ultimately on your reader, and what your reader takes from a story, how it supports them. Remember the element of transformation?So consider this as you tell your stories. How can you share in a way that your reader trusts you, trusts that your intention is to help them through your writing and trusts that you can guide them through a process of change. 4. The Element of IntegrationIt's important to take into account that as you share and expand upon your experiences and ideas throughout your book, your reader is learning and growing.You see exercises included in self-help books as a norm, with good reason. Usually, there is an exercise section at the end of each chapter.The reason for this is so that your reader has the opportunity to really integrate your teachings and guidance.Take time with creating this section of your book – really consider what questions might be most helpful to ask your reader and how you can ask similar questions from different angles.Also, bear in mind that we all learn in different ways – auditory, kinesthetic, visual. So you can incorporate these elements into your exercises too.For example:Auditory = provide a meditation or a link to a playlistVisual = encourage your reader to draw a picture or create a vision boardKinesthetic = get your reader to do some journal writingYou get the idea... If you don't want to include an exercise section at the end of each chapter, you might consider linking to additional content on your website - maybe including videos, interviews, recipes, quizzes or whatever is relevant to your book topic…Ideally, the exercises you provide will allow for a real deepening of understanding and questioning, even, on the part of your reader.If you don't want to include exercises, that's ok. However, it might be good to consider how you can really be sure your reader is integrating your teachings or writing to their best benefit. 5. The Element of FaithUltimately, in a self-help book, the ideal is to inspire your reader, so that they find the faith in themselves to create the change they are longing for.I like the idea of “borrowing proof”. For example, a reader may not have first-hand proof that a transformation is possible from their own personal experience, but through your stories and experience and, where relevant, the stories and experience of your clients, your reader can “borrow the proof” that transformation is possible, until such time as they have their own, personal proof.Cool idea, right?Of course, throughout your writing, you can speak to your reader in a way that shows you have respect for them and you have faith in them and in their ability to change. They can then borrow that too!So those things – the elements of transformation, connection, trust, integration and faith – are particularly important when writing self-help books.There's lots more I could share, but, obviously, there's only so much I can share here.To help you further, I have a few resourcesI have a free writing course, called “How To Write A Self-Help Book”, that will walk you through the step by step process for writing a self-help book.In my next episode, I will be sharing “7 Steps To Get Your First Book Draft Done”, so be sure to watch for that. If you are ready to jump in and write your self-help book, and you want 1:1 support, I would love to help. You can find out more about how to work with me HERE or you can email me HEREThank you so much for reading. I so deeply appreciate you being here with me. Wishing you lots of happy writing,Aoifexo P.S. Here are those links again: For the free writing course, “How To Write A Self-Help Book” CLICK HERE To find out more about how to work with me 1:1 CLICK HERE************ Note: You might like these episodes too: #7 – 7 Reasons To Write Your Book #8 - Writing A Book Is Easier Than You Think!#15 - Secrets To Attention Grabbing Stories *********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “7 Secrets to Kick-Ass, Heart Centered Copy”Whether you’re a writer, an entrepreneur or a creative in any form, you’re probably going to need to write copy at some stage – for your website or your blog or articles to publish to promote your work or your brand.Writing copy can feel daunting – how do you find those magic words to capture the essence of what you do and really connect with your ideal audience?Well, There are guidelines for creating really great copy, no matter what kind of copy you are creating. Let’s face it: regardless of the type of copy you’re creating, you want your copy to be a few key things - interesting, engaging, easy to read and able to clearly communicate your message in a way that resonates with your ideal audience.You want to create copy that makes your audience eager to find out more about who you are and what you do. You want copy that makes people want to learn from you and work with you. You want copy you can really stand behind and be proud of.So what are these magical guidelines for creating your own, kick-ass, heart centered copy?Read on…!1. Identify the core message you want to share.The first thing to do is to get really clear about the intention behind the copy you want to write and identify the core message you want to share. This is a bit like finding the kernel of everything - the one sentence version of your copy. What would you like people to learn or take away from reading your copy?So, for example, in this copy, my core message to you is that you can write your own kick-ass copy – and that I can help by giving you some guidelines.2. Keep your ideal reader in mind.Ultimately, someone reading your copy has this in mind: “what’s in it for me?” If someone is reading your copy, they’re not doing it so you can feel good, they’re doing it out of their own interest, or because they feel they can get something from it/you.So write with the benefit to them at the top of you mind… how can you help your ideal reader through what you are sharing?For example, in this copy, I am putting my focus on giving you tips about how to write better copy - copy that can help you share your creativity or your work or your brand. My focus is not on all the reasons you should listen to me, or anything about me at all, really. I’m focused on you.3. Get clear about the key points you want to share.What are the key points you want to make in relation to the copy you’re writing?Make sure you are clear about what you want to say and then communicate it in a logical, easy to follow way.Feel free to include some elements of storytelling, either as an intro to your copy or to illustrate a point, but do so in a way that is relevant, interesting for your reader and engages with them.For example, in this copy, the points are numbered and specific and concise and everything you need to know to get started with your copy. There is a whole lot more I could tell you about creating copy, but more about that later.4. Remember that less is more.It’s better to work with one overall idea and communicate it well than overwhelm people with too much information or leave them confused.Take out any filler or fluff and really get to the meat of your message, so to speak. Keep your copy concise and easy to read. Simpler is better.For example, in that very point, I’ve told you what is important in as clear and concise a way as possible.5. Make it personalWhen you’re creating copy for a personal brand it’s important to show your personality.Sharing stories that illustrate the points you are making can really help your reader understand your message more and feel more connection with you.If stories aren't so appropriate to your copy, you can still be sure to write conversationally and with warmth - to write as you speak. Let your reader feel like you are speaking to them as you would a friend.(Also: check out another blog I wrote: 5 Secrets to Attention Grabbing Stories)For example, in this copy, I’m writing to you in the same way I would speak to you if we were chatting about copy while having a cup of tea.6. Make your copy visually appealingSimply put:DO: Format your copy clearly so it is easy for your reader to follow.DON’T: Create packed up, long paragraphs of text. These feel overwhelming to a reader.DO: Allow for lots of white space between paragraphs – visually this gives a feeling of space and ease of reading.DON’T: Use language that is too complicated or academic (unless, of course, that is appropriate). Write simply and clearly and draw your reader in.DO: Create headings that explain what is coming next in your copy. If someone has a little time they can skim the article and then come back later to read it in full.So, for example, in this copy, you can see how the headings are all in bold, there is lots of white space and the paragraphs are short. This is all designed to make this blog as easy for you to read as possible.7. Write for where you are nowIt’s so easy to get caught in procrastination, wanting to make copy perfect before we share it. However, the creative flow involves flow – and flow involves not just creating, but also sharing your creativity with your audience.Write for where you are now in your journey. Life is ever changing and your copy will be a living, breathing thing that you can update as you go.Here’s what I say to anyone who is prone to getting stuck in procrastination: get started. Clarity comes through doing, through taking action – as do progress and momentum.Finally, I am writing for where I am now, completing my creative flow, and sharing with you, trusting that this will be helpful for you.So there you go..!They are your 7 secrets to kick-ass, heart centered copy.Please believe me.... writing your copy can be easy, can feel fun and can really communicate what lights you up in a way that lights you up! When you write in this way other people can feel your passion and enthusiasm too – and they are drawn to you.Writing is my jam! I have lots more secrets about how to create your own kick-ass, heart centered copy to share with you in my course: "Create Your Own Kick-Ass, Heart Centered Copy".Thank you for being here. I hope you learned something that is really helpful for you!I wish you lots of happy writing!Aoife xo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #1 - Read This And You Will ALWAYS Be Inspired To Write #15 – 5 Secrets To Attention Grabbing Stories #24 - The Psychology of Social Media Content For Your Book, Business or Brand*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “Sensitive And Creative? STOP Blocking Yourself!”Sensitive and creative? Me too!I know what it’s like to walk into a room and immediately sense the emotions, moods, humors and relationships of the people present within it. It’s one thing to understand that as an adult, but it’s really overwhelming for a child.I was a sensitive child. I was brought up in a family and in an area with the workers of the world – the teachers and nurses and office workers and shop workers. The workers.I always knew that I wanted to sing. As a child I was always singing and that was fine, but something seemed to change as I grew up. When I was an older child or young teenager and people asked what I wanted to do with my life and with full enthusiasm I would say, “I want to sing” I could sense that that answer was the “wrong” one.Well-meaning adults would tell me that singing was something that was fine to do for fun, but it wasn’t realistic to think that I could be a singer and that I needed to do something else for a real job.I noticed that when I would be saying “I want to sing” I felt all excited and enthusiastic, but after whatever conversation that followed, I would feel down.As a child I didn’t know that whatever advice an adult gave was an extension of their beliefs projected on to me. I didn't know that just because something was true for them didn’t necessarily mean that it was true for me. I didn’t know that I didn't have to take those beliefs on as my own.I didn't know so I believed them.I did what they said. I stopped singing.I went to college and a couple of years later ended up working in sensible jobs, mostly in offices, absolutely miserable. I would find myself crying on the way to work and on lunch breaks and feeling anxious most of the time. All of this led me to think: “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just be like any normal person and just get on with life? Why do I have to be so emotional?’’It didn’t help that this was the advice I got from, again, well-meaning friends and family: “Stop being so emotional. Just get on with it!”So I did my best to get on with it but things just got worse. I felt worse. I got more and more down.Thankfully, this led to a fair bit of introspection and, ultimately, I came to understand what had happened: I had given up on my dreams.I had placed more authority on what others felt (a common trait among sensitives) and had abandoned what I felt and what I wanted.I came to realise that a few years had gone by with me being unhappy and getting unhappier not doing what I really wanted to. It dawned on me that if I didn’t do something about it years more would go by in the same way.So I decided to sing.I took a first step and another step I kept going. I was scared and unsure but I kept moving forward and my life changed.Over the next few years I played shows all over the States and Europe, recorded albums, made videos, had crazy-cool experiences in my own band, singing my own songs and now I am about to begin a brand new adventure – my solo project.So here’s why I am sharing all of this…Since I’m beginning this new project, I’m back at the point of following new dreams and setting new goals. It’s exciting and fun – and yet the same old, familiar doubts and fears and thoughts seem to emerge. Now I know differently, though. I think something I learned from author, Sonia Choquette, when those scary thoughts come up. I think: “That’s just my barking dog!” and I move forward.I move forward because there are some things I now know:Ignoring yourself to create outer accord creates an even greater discord within.When you are not respecting and being true to yourself you are, in effect, saying, “I don’t matter here. My feelings, needs and wants don’t matter. What is more important is you want and how you feel. That is more important to me and than me.”When you don’t allow yourself do what you want to, you are hurting yourself. When I was refusing to allow myself sing, I was trying to fit in with what people around me expected of me. I was trying not to stand out or risk being rejected. In that attempt to fit in I was enforcing the ultimate self-punishment – not allowing myself do what I loved.When I talk to authors and budding authors – people who are yearning to write a book – they so often tell me that they feel blocked by their thoughts and fears and doubts.They’re missing something, though.You see, they think it’s all about them. We think it’s all about us. We think we are small.We think we are just one person trying to carve out time, energy and determination to write a book or do whatever it is that means to us.Really, it is much more than that. Life is so much broader than that.Our impulses and desires are life. They are life force energy wanting to be expressed through us.Life is creating through us, for us and for the growth and expansion that will be involved throughout our creating and for others who will receive our work and whose healing and expansion will be triggered and encouraged by it.I know – it’s a deep concept. It’s the absolute truth and very practical, though.So I say STOP blocking yourself!Right now!Here are 8 simple steps to help you with this:1. Reclaim your dreams! So many of us have lost touch with what we truly desire because we have deemed our desires ridiculous or unachievable – and it hurts too much to want something we don't belief we can get.Here's the thing, though - beliefs are just thoughts we keep thinking and give weight to. These beliefs lead to patterns of behavior and are further reinforced by situations created from these patterns of behavior - like when you may have had cold water poured on your dreams by people you trusted.Reclaim your dreams! This is your life and it is happening now and life is for living. Going for things you want is part of the fun!2. Make a decision. Decide to change. Decide what you want. Decide to go for it. Decision is powerful and precedes action. But you have to decide. So decide.3. Commit to your decision. Write it on your wall, post it in your car and your wardrobe and your bathroom. Tell people who will support you.Act in accordance with it.If you like, you can start with setting time aside each day to envision what you desire. When you do this, just watch the energy begin to pull you towards it, gift you with ideas and encourage you to bring your vision into form.4. While you’re at it you may as well decide a few other things: Decide to enjoy this. Decide to be light about it. Decide that the work is play. Decide to enjoy the process.Our minds are powerful things and you may have heard of “confirmation bias”, where we tend to confirm things that we believe to be true. So what would you rather be confirming for yourself? Decide!5. Focus on the picture not the frame. I’ve spoken about that before in this blog: How To Not Care What People Think About You (Or Your Work). Focus on your work and why you’re doing your work. Your message or your art. That’s where the real joy and the pleasure is.6. Baby steps. Break what you are doing into small and manageable steps. Do what can you every day.7. Stay consistent. You can help yourself by getting support – I can help (CLICK HERE to find out how to work with me 1:1) or get an accountability partner (you can read more about that HERE).8. Have your own back. Be kind to yourself. Applaud yourself for every step you take. Stay on your own side. Remember the work is play. Remember you are wonderful and courageous and that you do matter and your desires and dreams do matter. Life is for living!It’s a beautiful thing to be a sensitive soul in the world. We get to feel and experience all the gorgeous subtleties of life.What’s vital, though, is that we learn to set and maintain healthy boundaries and that we take good care of ourselves.I hope this blog has been really helpful for you and I would love to know what your desires and dreams are!! Please post them in the comments.Wherever you are on your sensitive and creative path I am cheering you on! You are my kindred spirit friend!Thank you for being here and thank you for listening and reading.As always, I wish you lots of happy writing!Aoife xo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #13 - How To Not Care What People Think About You (Or Your Work) #14 – Make A Real Difference With Your Writing #23 - How To Get Comfortable With Being Vulnerable - Interview with Author Melissa Venable*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: "Why You NEED Beta Readers For Your Book (... And How To Get The Best From Them)"So you’ve been writing your book. You have your first draft done. Maybe you even have your first draft edited.So... when you have your first draft written, what is next?Well, this is the part where you begin to share your book with others to get their feedback. It’s Beta Reader time!But…· What is a Beta Reader?· Who would make the best Beta Reader for your book?· What should you ask or expect of a Beta Reader?· Why do you need a Beta Reader at all?· How would you even find Beta Reader… and do you have to pay them?Well… in today’s blog I am going to answer all these questions and more!So let’s jump right in!What is a Beta Reader?You’re probably familiar with the term “Beta” meaning that something is still in testing mode, not let launched.Well, a Beta Reader is someone who will read your manuscript while it is in draft mode and give you feedback, in varying degrees of detail, which is usually decided between the two of you.A Beta Reader is not the same as an editor. In general, a Beta Reader will be reading through your manuscript, giving feedback about specific sections or chapters, whereas an editor would go through your book line by line, making specific corrections (depending on the type of editor, obviously).Who would make the best Beta Reader for your book?Well, ideally you are looking for a Beta Reader who would actually be interested in reading or buying your book – someone who would be part of your target audience. However, there is also value in including people who are not naturally part of your target audience, but who are keen readers and clear thinkers.You want to engage Beta Readers who are reliable – people who will read your manuscript within the time periods you outline and who will provide feedback in the ways you request.Ideally, your Beta Readers will naturally enjoy reading, have a great command of the English language (or whatever language you are writing in) and be unafraid to provide you with clear, honest, blunt but fair constructive criticism.What should you ask or expect of a Beta Reader?This is something that is not set in stone.What information would be helpful for you to know at this stage of your project? Do you want to make sure the information you are providing is easy to understand for your reader? Do you want to confirm that your ideas flow and that build naturally upon each other? Do you want to find out if your book is engaging or if your reader’s attention wanders?Get really clear about what information you most need and set up your Beta Reader agreements around that.What time frame do you want your readers to complete reading and critiquing your manuscript within?There are two options that I recommend most, depending on your preference:1. You can ask your Beta Readers to read a chapter of your book at a time and then fill out a short questionnaire at the end of each chapter to identify which sections were clear or confusing, how they enjoyed the chapter, what you could do to improve it and so on. Some writers like this approach because they have naturally segmented the feedback in chapter-by-chapter form from each beta reader.2. Provide your full manuscript in Google Drive and give your Beta Readers access to it so that they can make comments and ask questions throughout. This can be less demanding of a Beta Reader and suits a writer who prefers to edit in a less segmented way.Ultimately, it depends on what you feel is the best way for you to get the information and feedback that you want.Setting Time Constraints and Giving DirectionDefinitely time constraints are key. You want any Beta Reading to be done within a fair, but timely, fashion.Make sure to instruct your Beta Readers. Be clear. Say to them “I would love to know if my ideas are clear and if the book feels actionable overall – if it puts you in a place where you are clear about your next steps to move forward. Can you give me your feedback on this?”Why do you need a Beta Reader at all?It’s absolutely crucial to get objective, critical feedback about your writing.When we are writing reading our own words – especially over and over again –we are so familiar with our themes and topics that the points we are illustrating make perfect sense to us. That does not necessarily mean that the same is so for our readers.A Beta Reader can pinpoint where more detail and explanation is needed in a point you are making for added clarity or where a more concise approach would do.Also, our eyes can gloss over simple, seemingly obvious, grammatical errors that are there in front of us in plain sight.Believe me, I write this blog every week and I check and check again and STILL I find myself publishing a blog to only later find errors I hadn’t noticed previously – and I am pedantic when it comes to things like this.For a (good) Beta Reader these discrepancies jump out.How many Beta Readers do I need?It’s important to have multiple Beta Readers for your book – definitely a minimum of 4 and maybe as many as 6 or 8 readers. The final number is your choice. Sometimes, even with the best of intentions, life happens and a Beta Reader may not decide to, or be in a position to follow through for you. Best to have multiple readers in case this happens.You’ll notice that when you have a few readers giving you feedback you can start to notice patterns in what they say. You can identify which sections or chapters are resonating most with them or which are confusing. This gives you great insight into how your writing is being received by your reader and you can make adjustments accordingly.Similarly, if you get completely different feedback about a section or sections of your book you can dig deeper to ask why this is happens and see what you can adjust within these sections, as necessary.How would you even find Beta Reader… and do you have to pay them?So, first of all, you probably know some of the most obvious choice for your first Beta Readers. Who are the people you talk to about writing your book? Either in real life or online?For example, my sister would be my first choice for a Beta Reader for me. We talk about writing all the time, we are both avid readers and writers. I trust her judgment and I know she would be honest. Additionally, I have online friends who are business owners and readers – and who would make excellent Beta Readers.Which people do you have like this in your life? Engage 1 or 2 of them to be your Beta Readers.Ideally, you want to also include Beta Readers who do not know you personally. A great place to find people like this is in – again, online or offline – writers groups and forums. Facebook Groups, LinkedIn Groups… Wherever you find writers you have potential Beta Readers for your book.Online or offline writers communities are great too and there are some dedicated Beta Reader sites you can check online – namely www.scribophile.com and www.wattpad.com and www.goodreads.com. (I don’t have affiliations with any of these sites and provide their names purely for information.)Generally, Beta Readers are unpaid, but you can offer some payment if you want – or see if there is some way that you can trade services. Maybe if your Beta Reader is a fellow writer you can return the Beta Reading favor at some stage.Ultimately, this is all your choice and something you can talk to your Beta Readers about. It’s good practice to thank them in your book acknowledgements section anyway!Receiving CriticismFinally, it can be difficult for some writers to receive criticism of their work. One way to lessen this is to ask your Beta Readers to give their impressions of how the book manuscript felt to them. For example: “At this point I felt really engaged… At that point I found myself confused…”You can ask them for their honest feedback and accept this as their impression or experience of what you wrote and be open to learning rather than feel criticised.You can always ask your Beta Readers for more information if you wish.Remember that their work is going to make your book all the better. Best to be open and receptive to constructive criticism.So there you go! Your complete overview of what a Beta Reader is, why you need them and how to get the best from them!I hope that this has been really helpful for you.As always, I thank you so much for reading and I wish you lots of happy writing!Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #10 – Self Publishing vs Traditional Publishing. Your Questions Answered! #22 - How To Build An Audience For Your Book (Even If You Haven't Written It Yet!)#24 - The Psychology of Social Media Content For Your Book, Business or Brand*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “The Psychology of Social Media Content For Your Book, Business or Brand.”Creating social media content is one thing, but it's another to create content that does what's it's meant to - i.e engage! Content that is really valuable and interesting for your audience, that is fun and that connects and resonates with them, while being fun for you to create at the same time!Sounds like a lot, but trust me - today's blog will help!I'm going to dive into the fundamental human psychology behind content creation and give you lots of ideas for what kinds of content you can create to connect with your audience and build your book platform, business or brand.Now, there is a lot of information in this blog so definitely read everything with a mindset of “How can I make this work for me?” or “How might I adapt this to work for me?’ to get the most out of it.Before you begin any social media content creation strategy you MUST get really clear about two things:1. Want do you want to say? (i.e. What do you stand for?)2. Who you want to connect with?This here could be a whole blog all it's own!Really getting clear about what you want to share and who you want to share it with will mean you are better able to create a social media strategy that is focused and cohesive. This makes everything you're doing more charged and clear - whether for your target audience or for other people who don't fall in to your main demographic.Trust me on this and do take the time to answer those questions.Next is a huge key to audience connection:It's about the principal modes of learning. Basically, we all learn in different ways and there are 3 key modes of learning: visual, auditory and kinesthetic.These are pretty self-explanatory – we learn by watching how something is done (visual) or we learn by listening to an explanation of how something is done (auditory) or we learn by doing something ourselves (kinesthetic).Obviously, we learn through a mix of all 3 of these modes of learning, but ordinarily each of us is more dominant in one than the others.For example, my preferred mode of learning is auditory. I’m a musician and songwriter so that probably stands to reason. I love to put on a training video and then do something like clean a room or something. I don't bother watching the training, but I find that when my body is focused on a robotic task like tidying up my brain really focuses intently on what I am listening to and I learn really well.Do you know what your preferred mode of learning is?You may be wondering how this relates to content creation...Well, it means that it’s important to create a few types content so you can connect with the widest possible amount of your audience. This serves the duplicate purpose of providing variety and a demonstration of your authority in relation to your topic.So what types of content can you create to connect with your audience?Some examples of Visual content are...· Video clips of interviews or demonstrations or similar· Photographs (or yourself or of something that is meaningful to you or your audience)· InfographicsSome examples of Auditory content are...· Video clips with audio· Podcast interviews or interview clips· MeditationsSome examples of Kinesthetic content are...· Quizzes· Polls/Surveys· Fillable PDFsSince this is a writing site, let’s talk about how you might create content for your audience if you are a writer…Ideas for Visual content· Video interviews with an author you respect or a clip of yourself speaking about your writing process· Photographs of yourself writing or doing something relevant to what you write about (for example hiking if you write about something health related)· Infographics (Here's an infographic I created, “6 Simple Steps to Kick-Ass Heart-Centered Writing”, which you can download for free.)Ideas for Auditory content· A clip from a podcast interview with you or someone you admire· A meditation if that is relevant to what you do and write aboutIdeas for Kinesthetic content· Quizzes (Especially related to your topic)· Polls/Surveys (Ask your audience what types of information or content they most need from you)· Fillable PDFs (like the one linked HERE)The Rule of 7.Lastly, I want to mention "The Rule of 7" which you may be familiar with as a Marketing and Investing term. I’m not sure who came up with this, but the key idea behind it is that we need to be exposed to something (for example: a piece of content) 7 times before we take action on it.I definitely notice that phenomenon in myself. The more I see something pop up in my Facebook feed, for example, the more my curiosity is piqued and when I've noticed it a few times I am more likely to click on it or sign up or whatever the case maybe.So, the rule of 7 is all the more reason for you to not only create a variety of content, but to be consistent in creating and sharing.What it's all about!This is all the tip of the iceberg, but really when you are creating content to share, the intention is generally twofold:1. To share, generously and truthfully, what really means to you in the world.2. To create a connection with your audience. You may want to inspire your audience or educate your audience or share about someone else’s valuable work with your audience or promote or sell to your audience. Ultimately, all of that is about connection.Connection begins with sharing and you can share in a way that is in integrity with who you are.For example, selfies are a wonderful way for your audience to feel connected with you. They get to see your face, to get a sense of the person you are sharing selfies is a really effective way to connect with your audience.Some people hate selfies, though. If you're one of them, don’t feel under pressure to take them. Much better to share something that is really meaningful to you, for example, a picture of something you are reading at the moment that you love or you could write your favorite word of the day on a piece of paper and take a picture of that and post it.Trust that your audience, your true audience, will appreciate and resonate with what is meaningful to you.There’s so much more to all of this that I can share with you, but hopefully, this has been a great start for you and is really helpful!Try it! See how it feels, watch your results and you can always make changes.As always, thank you for being here with me for My Message Is Love!Happy Writing,Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #7 – 7 Reasons To Write Your Book#11 - Social Media: A Guide for Introverts & Sensitive Writers#22 - How To Build An Audience For Your Book (Even If You Haven't Written It Yet!)*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “How To Get Comfortable With Being Vulnerable - Interview with Author Melissa Venable.”Melissa published her first book “Finding FabYOUlous” last year and she joined me to talk about the book itself and also to talk about the process of writing and publishing.This interview is gold for an aspiring writer...!If you’d prefer to watch the video version of this interview, you can do that at this link: http://www.mymessageislove.com/blog-articles/interview-with-author-melissa-venableEnjoy!********AOIFE:Hi everyone. I'm Aoife O’Leary and I am the creator of MyMessageIsLove.com and My Message Is Love is a writer's website. It’s for you if you want to write a book, if you're already writing, if need editing or copywriting services. Also it's got life musings in it because: all the good stuff!I have a special guest with me today. This is Melissa Venable and she is a writer and she just published her first book, “Finding FabYOUlous”. I'm going to read the subtitle because it's so cool I want to get it right: “A self-help with sass guide to finding, celebrating and capitalizing on the fabulousness that makes you YOU!So, thank you for being here, Melissa, and huge congratulations on your book!MELISSA:Well, thank you! I'm excited to be here to tell you all more about it!AOIFE:Absolutely! So let's start! Tell us about the book and tell us what it's about and who it's for and I have a whole load of other questions too…MELISSA:It’s called “Finding Fabulous” but with y-o-u instead of “u” in the normal spelling and the reason I did that is because this book is all about helping the reader get back to the person they were truly created to be before society and the world and everybody else, you know, with their input started piling all of their roles and their desires on the person.So it's just peeling back those layers and getting back to the person that you were truly created to be. Finding your true passions, your true desires and bringing those to life and letting them do their work in your life and in the world, because I feel like when we do that that's when we're going to be able to have the most impact and make the biggest difference in our families and our own personal lives, but in the world at large.So that's what it's all about.AOIFE:Yes! I know from reading this book that you have a lot of your own life stories within it, so did you have this idea for the book a little while ago or many years ago or was it recent?MELISSA: You know I, gosh, that was one of the biggest challenges with the book - was bringing kind of my own life stories into it because I mean, I'm not gonna lie there's some yuck in there, you know? I mean, things that are not real pretty to uncover and to talk about and write about and then to have other people read about.But at the same time I've also learned that my biggest messes have turned into my greatest messages, you know, and my tests have been my testimony, so that's why I always refer to myself. I'm like, when I'm introduced to something I'm like “from trainwreck to trainer” because I've been the train wreck - I know what it's like to have a life without control and that's hard and that you struggle, but I've come out of that and I'm living a truly fabulous life now.But I'm also nothing special. if I can do it anybody can do it, so that's what I wanted to make sure that this book – that message that it got out: That if you've gone through stuff – as we all have - you can turn it around and you can get back to who you were truly meant to be. You can make right that situation and have a really fabulous life as well.So, I've had the idea to write the book for probably 4 to 5 years, but I had the idea but didn’t necessarily have the guts. So it took a little while kind of processing through some of that. It's like, you know, if I'm going to do this I’m going to have to be willing to share you know the train wreck moments so people can truly understand that I have been there done. My thing now is “been there, done that, wrote the book!”It takes a little bit of courage to kind of, you know, be willing to put yourself out there and be vulnerable in that way. So the idea was there probably 4 or 5 years ago but the last 18 months I really got serious about like, “No, you know what? I am going to do this. I think it can help people and so I'm going to do this.”So, yeah, it's been percolating for a while…AOIFE:Did you have a particular reader in mind when you were creating your book?MELISSA:Yeah, you know I think anybody will love my book, and I mean, I hope that's true, but really, the demographic I really hope to hit was probably in my mind. My ideal reader was somebody who is maybe midlife or maybe not quite that, but 35 to 55. Somebody in that age range that was going through some transitions in her life, who was thinking, “You know, there's got to be more to it than what I'm doing right now.”Maybe feeling just kind of a little bit of unease, you know? Maybe they're going through something hard and they need some hope and they need some strategies to get through that, or maybe they're just feeling a little discontent, like, “there's got to be more to life than what I'm doing now every day, day in and day out.” So I think that that's really who my book is geared to and I think who will benefit the most from it.AOIFE:Did you feel that writing with a particular kind of sense, rather than a particular person in mind, but a sense, did that change the direction or your the way you?MELISSA: It did, it just gave me clarity. I wasn't trying to write to the masses, you know. This book is not going to appeal to my 19-year-old son, though he'sread it, to give him credit. He has read it. But, you know, it’s probably not his thing.When I thought about the person that I truly wanted to speak into the heart of: a woman, maybe 40, maybe feeling a little discontent or having been going through something difficult - a divorce, a career change, something like that. So, the person I wanted to most give hope to - when I thought about that person it really helped me dial in the message and get a lot more clear on how I wanted to deliver that. So I think that was hugely beneficial and when I would start to get off track or feel like I was kind of going down a rabbit hole, I would start to bring myself back to who that person was and who I was writing to, and that would really help me get back on the on the right course for the book.AOIFE:So you had the idea for the book and then it was percolating in your mind and over the last 18 months was really when you knuckled down to do the work. So was there something that happened in the middle there? Or a decision point or what inspired you?MELISSA: Yeah I mean, I kind of think it was a midlife crisis. I turned 47 and something about turning 47 - I mean not like 47 is some magicalnumber - but it's like something in my head click, “Oh my gosh, I'm3 years away from being 50 and if I am ever gonna do some of these things that I say I want to do I need to getcrackin’”.And also I kind of hit a point in my life where … In mybook I talk about my struggle with an eating disorder, I talk about my struggle to get out of an emotionally and physically abusive marriage. I talk about those things. But I'm at a point in my life now that those things are far enough behind me that I can talk about them without the pain and without the angst that they bring up and in a way that I think is helpful now.Once I got to that point I was like, “Okay, now it's time. I worked through that and I'm beyond that now, so I think now is the time that I could take what I learned going through all that and package it in a way that can be helpful to other people - even if they are in obviously very different situations.”I just think it took a little while. I had to kind of get past that and heal from some of that on my own, so that then I could help others kindof go through that process too. In the last 18 months, I was like, “I'm there. I'm fine. My life is on a good trajectory now. I love my cat. Now is the time and I'm gonna be 50 in 3 years! Get crack-a-lackin' on this, so I think that it's just a kind of a culmination of those things coming together all at once.AOIFE:How was it to write these personal things and share these personal stories- because I have to say that's something that I still shy away from – and also, did you set boundaries around that for yourself or were there places that you were not willing to go? How did it all feel?MELISSA: I think, sure, there are probably still things that are not in my book and those are probably just things that are just going to be with me, you knowthey're mine. I didn't really think some of those would be beneficial to the reader anyway so that doesn't need to be included.I did have some boundaries of what I was and was not willing to share, but when I approached it I just kept thinking, “Yeah, this is hard. This was hard stuff that I went through and these steps I had to take and the therapy that I went through and all those things that I had to go through in order to have this experience.”I'm like if it's helpful, though, if it has the potential to help somebody elsethen I want to be able to include that. I had to get comfortable with being vulnerable because there is stuff in there that it's like, “Woooooo…. Yeah… now my parents have read this book!!”Yeah, but you have to be willing to be vulnerable and be open about it. I just kept thinking in my head - the thing that kept me on track – is if I feel like this is genuinely gonna have the opportunity to benefit somebody else, then I want to include it, so that just the kind of spin that I had the entire time.But yeah, it was a little hard sometimes, but now look the book is out and I'm getting feedback I am just so glad that I included some of those parts because I feel like those are the things people are coming to talk to me about those are the things that they bring up – those harder moments are what touched them and what have really inspired and helpedthem. So I'm glad that I included those.AOIFE: Yeah it's our humanity. Even if the circumstances are different, we all understand pain and understand those feelings of really being at your lowest.MELISSA:Right, right.AOIFE:So just to shift it a little bit… what was your writing process like on aday-to-day basis?MELISSA: I wish I could say that I'm one of those people that you know jumpsoutta bed at 4 o'clock in the morning and writes for 3 hours. I'm not. Iwish it was. I'm not. I tend to be more productive at night - I'm a night owl by nature.AOIFE:Yeay! So am I!MELISSA: Oh, great! I’m glad to hear that. So, my mind tends to be more active at night, you know when the house is quiet, people are in bed. I can really focus and do my writing then. My process really was – I don't know that I had a process. My thing was I made myself write every single day.I say every single day but there were a couple times when my husband and I would go on a vacation and I didn't and there was one time when I had pneumonia and I was in bed and I was like “I can't! I can't even get out of bed, I’m not going to write.”But, barring those kinds of things, I made myself write every single day. There were some days where I would crank out an entire chapter and I'd be on a real roll. There were other days where it was a struggle just to get a paragraph, but nonetheless I would make myself sit down at thecomputer and write.I feel like that consistency was so important and I think the hardest part for me honestly every single day was just getting started - was just getting my butt in the chair and, you know, the keyboard there and actually to start to open the file and start typing. That was the hardest part. Once I got past that first sentence or two, then it got much easier, but just having the discipline and the consistency to write something every single day. Once I started the writing then I found that it usually it would start to flow. I'd get kind of in that, you know, that momentum going.So that was basically my process - nothing too super scientific or, you know, fascinating I guess, but just the consistency.AOIFE:So when you had your first draft written, what was your editing process from there through to the end? Were there multiple edits or did youhave BETA readers or what was best for you?MELISSA: Yes, yes and yes.I'll confess, so I at first, you know, never having done this before I was like “You know, my degree is in English, I know punctuation, I can edit this thing, no problem!” I did read it several times myself and I did learn that the problem withthat is that as the author I know what the book is supposed to say. I know what it's supposed to say. So when I read it in my head that's what I read, even though I might have two words mixed up or I might have a word missing or something. In my head I know what it's supposed to say so that's how I read it. That's why I think it's so crucial that you have somebody else read your book as well.Thankfully, I have a good friend who is a copy editor and she read it through and I will tell you that it was painful to get my pages backwith so much red on them. I'm like, “Wait, my degree is in English. I'm supposed to be good at this. What is all this red here for?” But it was very, very helpful.Then I did also have some BETA readers too and they would give me feedback, like, “Okay, you're kind of on a rabbit hole here… this is a little confusing” and they helped me tighten it up too.But, then again I read the thing also probably 17 bazillion times myself just trying to tweak it and get it to where I was really happy with it. So I do think no matter how good you think you are - and you are I'm sure you are - again my degree is in English, I'm supposed to know this stuff - It is so important to get another set of eyes I think on your materialbecause they will just catch things that you don't.I'm fortunate that the editor that I did have, again, was a friend of mine so she knows my voice she knows how I talk and how I present ineveryday life and it was really important to me that my book wasauthentic to that I wanted to sound like me. So she was able to read it with that kind of ear. She knew how I sounded anyway so she was able to do that, but she would catch when I would have “and and” in a sentencethat I somehow I didn't see or whatever. I didn’t catch those things. So it’s a little painful to have your pages come back to you with that much red on them but it's so, so helpful.AOIFE:I'm usually the person making the red marks!MELISSA: God bless you! I mean… I don’t like you for those reasons, but we need you so much! We need you so badly!AOIFE:So you decided to self-publish. Was that a decision you made from the get-go or did you consider traditional publishing or what was it aboutself-publishing that made you choose that?MELISSA: Okay, actually no. My original intention was to go traditional publishing and I had a publisher that I’d been talking with and was interested in the book. I was going down that path. The thing that just kept kind of sticking in my craw a little bit was like “Man” – and now I will say it was a small publishing - but still you know traditional publishing this like, that's always what you want, right?” But when I started going through the contracts looking at what they were presenting to me, I was like “Man”, I was gonna be doing a lotof work and writing this book and yet I was going to be making just very, very little on my book and yet I was still going to be expected to do so much of the marketing myself. The more I looked at that I was just like, “This doesn't really make sense to me.”So then I went - you know, I still kind of had that as an option but then Istarted looking around and I looked at some indie publishers, thepublisher where you can pay them and they'll take your pages and they'll turn it into a book. I was like, “Okay, well that would be easy… you know just give them my stuff and pay them”. Except for it's not so easy when you know that's $3,500 that they want to make your book into a book. So I was like, “Okay, I don't really want to do that.”But, I’m a big fan, I’m not sure if you’re familiar with her, but, I’m a big fan of Marie Forleo. She's a business guru and I just I love her, andshe's got MarieTV on YouTube, and one of her catchphrases that she always uses is: “Everything is figure-out-able” and I'm like, “Okay, if everything is figure-out-able, I should be able to figure out how to self publish this book, still have it look like a quality piece of work and professional. I should be able to figure this out. So I just set out to figure this out – and thanks to online courses and you know information I got off of Pinterest and all these different things, I was able to figure it out.It took me more time, you know, I mean obviously it took me time toresearch how to use Createspace, how to format my book properly, how to do all these things. I did hire someone to do my cover because I wanted that to look really good. So, you know, I just kind of went with that “everything is figure-out-able” and I figured it out.And because of that I now have a product that I'm proud of that looks great, I think, but I didn't have to pay somebody $3,500 to do it and I'mnot paying or somebody's not taking a huge cut of every book sale now because of that.Now, will I do that again? Probably. I mean, obviously, if one of the big publishers came knocking on my door, then we'll talk, but until that time I think that self-publishing is a real viable option for people. I thinkthat a lot of authors are realizing this and going that way now. So, don't think that you have to be traditionally published to have a quality piece of work nowadays. That's just not the case anymore.AOIFE:… and you can still get your books in libraries and in bookshops…MELISSA: also absolutelyAOIFE: Oh, are you a B-schooler?MELISSA: Not yes, but I think I'm going to be! Right now I am enrolled in acertification course for life coaching, so I mean, I'm getting a certificationfor that. As soon as that's done, my next thing is going to be B-School, so you know Marie Forleo? Yeah, yeah. I just love that.So I'm going to be, yeah!AOIFE:Presuming you're writing another book - for some reason I have a sense that you have more books in you – So, presuming you're writing another book, what are things that you will absolutely do next time and what are some things you will change?MELISSA: So absolutely I will go back to my write every day. I mean that'sthe thing I just kind of have to do that - I will write every day. I’m fortunate now that I've done it once, I've got one under my belt you know, so now I know how to format a book, I know how to use Createspace. I don't have to re-learn all of that, thank the good Lordfor that. So I will do some of those things again, but I think again theconsistency. I will continue to always hire someone to do my covers. I will continue to have someone edit my book for me. So those kinds ofthings.The thing that I hope not to do is to let the fear and just “Ohgosh, is anybody gonna read this?” and “Why? All this is just a waste of time… nobody's gonna want to read this garbage,” and blah blah blah blah blah.I'm not gonna let that hold me back this time because now I've done oneand lo and behold people are reading it and people are enjoying it and so now I’m just kind of like, “Okay, I can do this. I've done it I can do it and it's gone well.” So I'm going to try - I'm not saying I’ll be perfect at this one – but I'mgonna try to leave some of that fear and angst behind me and just forgeon. You know, move forward with things more quickly without the hesitation and the doubt. Hopefully. My lips to God's ears… we'll see. Hope it works out that way.AOIFE:Actually I was gonna ask you this after a couple of questions, but now seems a good time. When did you encounter any sort of moments ofresistance or “what am I doing?” or even procrastination orany of those human things that hit us when we're creating anything? How did you work through that if you came across those kind of moments?MELISSA: Yeah so I had to get just really, really, really clear on my why. Why am I doing this? And, you know I will tell you that my why for writing my book is I basically I just wanted originally - originally - I just wanted this to be like a fancy business card, okay?I wanted it to open doors for my coaching programs. I wanted it to open doors for speaking engagements and workshops - something I could sell on a back table if I did workshops - those kinds of things.I wasn't even really thinking about it as far as book signings and selling itand all that it was more just something I wanted to help promote otherthings that I had going on. So the fact that it then actually started to sellthat was just you know icing on the cake for me. That was great.So I think when I felt the resistance, though, I would have to take myself back to why I originally was wanting to do this - the people I thought I could help. You know, I have a vision board. I'm all about that kind of stuff, thinking about you know where you want to be in your life and I would just get refocused back on those things. Like, “This is why it's important to me - whether I ever sell a copy or not, I know that it can help me further my work in my coaching, the things that are important to me.” So I think it's just you really have to be really clear on your why and if you're clear enough on that coming back to that is what can help keeping you on the right track - help you to forge on when it's tough, when you're in that resistance and you're like “Nobody’s going to read this junk! Why am I doing this? Oh my gosh, this is terrible!”There were times when I was writing and thinking, “Tthis is terrible. This is terrible.” and I’d go back and I'd edit whenever and take it out, butgoing back to my why is just the thing that kept me going. So I think you have to be really, really, really firm on why you’re doing it and then be able to call on that when you need it - because there will be times, I promise, it’s doesn’t matter how great a writer you are. There will betimes you'll look at this and think, “This is garbage. Why am I even doing this?” It just happens - whether you're having a bad day or something – it will just happen. So just be really clear on why you're doing it and let that be kind of the fuel that keeps you going.AOIFE:Did you have any support people around? In your book you talk about “run through the sprinklers and stay away from the drains”, so you can explain that property better than me.MELISSA: Yes, I think we probably all have both kinds of people in our lives.So… sprinklers… okay, in the book this is how I describe different people. We have sprinklers in our lives. These are the people that love and support us and they just sprinkle their joy and love and support on youand you just blossom when you're in their presence, okay? But then we also have drains - and those are the people who literally being in their presence just drains the energy right out of you. And a lot of times we can just walk into a room with the person and immediately know what kind of person they're going to be.So I think it's very, very important, especially when you're undergoing something like writing a book or an important task that's really important to you, is that you spend as much time as possible with those sprinklers - those people who believe in you and who will encourage you and feed into you and, you know, keep you going when things are hard.Fortunately my amazing husband is one of those for me. My parents are those for me. I have some great friends, girlfriends, that'd be like, “Okay, we need the next chapter. Is it written yet? We've gotta keep reading!” So they would keep me going.And even I have two college-age sons - they're 19 and almost 22 – clearly, not the demographic for my book, but they knew I was writing a book and, God bless them, they were like, “How's the book coming, Mom?” They were really encouraging too -and my stepdaughter. So I really did have a core group of people that when I was in tears I'm like, “Honestly, I’m just going to chuck this whole thing,” they were like “No, no. We need the next chapter. We're hooked!”So having those kinds of people is very, very important, I think, and also being able to erect solid boundaries around the drains, because that's important too, I think. So, yeah, get your support team togetherAOIFE:Did you have, when you were beginning writing, was there anything that you just didn't anticipate? Or you didn't know that something was going to go a certain way or that's sort of surprised you with the writing or anything?MELISSA: Yeah, so the thing that surprised – so when I started writing my book the thing that scared me the most was like, “I am NOT gonna have enough to say to fill a book. I'm gonna have four pages and be done. I'm not gonna have enough to say.” Well, what surprised me was that I actually ended up having way toomuch to say. I actually ended up – and, oh God, this was painful, but - I actually ended up cutting out 12 chapters – 12 chapters - of my book because turned out I had written like the next “War and Peace”.So now I have like almost another book ready to go just from those12 chapters I pulled out of this one. So I think that really surprised me that once I sat down and started writing that it just flowed and it came out and I ended up with so much more than I anticipated. So I did not expect that at all. I thought I was gonna be, you know, pulling teeth just to come up with enough to fill a book.So I think that was the biggest surprise - that I had more to say than I really anticipated.Yeah and I think that a nice surprise is just how well it's been received. I mean that just makes my heart so happy that people are reading it andthey're enjoying it and their lives are being touched by it and they're able to make sustainable change in their lives because of it. So that's just something I didn't necessarily - I hoped for but I didn't anticipate. I didn't know if it was going to actually come to be and it is.AOIFE:Actually my next question is about what's been most rewarding for you about having your book at in the world and the impact that it's making on the people who read it? How is that feeling?MELISSA: There is no greater feeling when I have somebody come up to me it's like, “Oh my gosh, I read your book”. Especially, you expect your friends to come say nice things to you, but when it's somebody that you don't even really know that you know but they've got your book and they've read it and they're like, “I've been through a similar situation” or “I had divorce” or “I'm struggling with a job situation, but reading your book has really helped me gain some clarity and I'm able to get to figure out what it is exactly that I want and now take some concrete steps in that direction”.Another piece of feedback that I really have enjoyed hearing is people tell me that in the personal development genre there are a lot of really inspiring books out there. You can go to any bookstore and there's a shelf full – lots of inspiration. But what people told me they liked about mine is that not only is it inspiring it's also actionable.You know it's like it’s great to get inspired, but then you need something to kind of help you road map, to help you take some real concrete steps to live that life that you're now so inspired to follow after - and they liked that my book not only provides the inspiration, but it provides the actionable steps that you can take too - so that’s really – I loved hearing that; that people are actually kind of putting it into work and that it's it's benefiting them.AOIFE:What advice would you give to somebody - say you know when 4 or 5 years ago you were starting to the ideas and then in the last year and a half you've been really like focused on it - so and if you go back say from 4 years go to 1 and a half years ago. For the people in that stage - they want to write and they don't have the confidence yet or they don't feel brave enough yet or they're second-guessing themselves or wondering if they can do it. What would you say to them?MELISSA: I would say write. Just start writing. Yeah. Write.The best way to fight fear, I think, is action. Action is the best way to fight beer and if you start taking action. And yeah, okay, some of it might not be good, I mean I get that - not everything I wrote was good - but just start writing. Start the process. Just start getting some words down on the page and even if that's not what you end up going with down the road, I mean that's fine. At least you're starting the habit You're starting to get yourself in that mental space where you're a writer, but I just think you just have to write.Even, I mean, there were plenty of things I wrote and no one will ever read. They didn't make it to a book. They weren't good and nobody's ever read it, but still just that that practice of sitting down and writing and being a writer - because all you have to do to be a writer is write. You don't necessarily have to be published. You don't have to be.Also, I’m a runner. I'm not a great marathon or anything. You don'thave to be. All you have to do to be a runner is run, you know? So I run a little.All you have to do to be a writer is write.So you sit down at your desk and you start to write and you start to get some words on paper. I think it's therapeutic. I think it's empowering and, again, the best way to combat fear is through action - so start taking that action and then as you write you'll come up with your outline, how you want things to flow and all that. You can start arranging the pieces, but my biggest piece of advice would just be to writeAOIFE:It also brings to mind in the book you mentioned Newton's Laws ofPhysics – that a body that's in motion tends to stay in motion, a bodythat's at rest tends to stay at rest. I did 2 years, maybe 3 years of Physics in school and that’s all I held on to!MELISSA: Isaac Newton! I find that his laws… those are so applicable in this, and in anything. It’s like if you just get started… it's overcoming that initial inertia of being at rest. You know, if you can overcome that and get yourself in motion you'll tend to stay in motion. So once you start writing it'll start to flow - so that's why you just gotta get started and do it!AOIFE:So what's next for you?I know http://fabyoulouslife.com/ is your website and your mission and movement and the book is part of this - and you said that you're getting a coaching certification. What's next for you and where can people find out more about you?MELISSA: Absolutely, yeah. So they can find out more about me at my website which is http://fabyoulouslife.com/ I am getting a special certification for coaching, but I am a coach already so I do coaching and speaking and those kinds of things. I do have - my next book is in the process of being written right now, so I have that that I'm hoping to have out by the end of the year. That's my goal. I need it to really because it's called “The Fabulist” and it's 365 – well, it's more of a guided journal almost, but it's lists that you make every single day that help you discover more about who you are.So I want it to come at the end of the year because I think it'd be something great just for people start at the beginning of the year - sothat's the goal so I'm working on that right now.But, yeah we're also doing workshops and coaching and all kinds of things so just go to http://fabyoulouslife.com/ and you can get all the information there.I'd also encourage people while they're there to sign up to get on my mailing list – which, a box will pop up where you can do that - because then you'll be in the loop whenever something new or different comes on the scene. You'll be one of the first to know. So there's that - lots of great things.AOIFE:Well, thank you so much, Melissa Venable, for being here and for sharing all your wisdom with us.I know that's going to be really helpful to some writers who are about to get started and for people who want to read “Finding FabYOUlous” as well.Thank you, so much.MELISSA: Thank you. It's been such a pleasure to be here and I can't wait to connect with you more down the road, so thank you so much.AOIFE:Bye, bye now.MELISSA: Bye, bye.********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE********* Note:You can find out more about Melissa Venable HEREYou can buy Melissa's book "Finding FabYOUlous" HERE You might like these episodes too: #7 - 7 Reasons You Should Write A Book#10 - Self Publishing vs Traditional Publishing. Your Questions Answered!#15 - 5 Secrets To Attention Grabbing Stories*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “How To Build An Audience For Your Book (Even If You Haven't Written It Yet!)”According to a survey in the New York Times, 81% of Americans say they have a book in them, but precious few follow through to write one. Just think how many people want to write a book in the whole world (and how precious few will actually write one.)If you are one of the precious few who will, firstly I want to tell you that you definitely should write a book - and here are 7 reasons why!Next, I want to tell you that I salute you and I want to help you!I want to tell you something that is an absolute MUST, regardless of what kind of book you want to write, how you want to publish, who your audience is... it's this:You need to build an audience for your book. You need to build your author platform.Your author platform (or writer platform or book platform) is absolutely crucial - for you, for your audience, for prospective literary agents and publishers, for places you will want to be reviewed and published.It’s something that, as a writer, you will be building and adding to on a daily and ongoing basis. It’s basically a key part of your life’s work.In this blog I’m going to give you an outline of what an Author Platform is and the basics of what you need to focus on to build your Author Platform.So...What is an author platform and what does it involve?Well, your author platform involves your skills and experience, your body of work, your social media, your interaction with your audience - and more.The key elements of an author platform are:1. Your body of workThis includes the writing you have had published, speaking engagements you have done, collaborations you have done, courses you ran in relation to your subject and reviews/testimonials you have garnered.2. Your websiteThis could include an active blog and possibly other examples of your writing. It could include testimonials and reviews or interviews you have done. It should also include an opt-in box to collect email addresses and build your audience.3. Your social mediaYour social media is a fabulous way to build your audience - to interact with people and to share about your life and your work (building your brand). Make sure to keep this up to date and active.4. Author BrandEverything you do online and in person will become what people associate with you and what you are known for.It makes sense to consciously decide what you want people to associate with you, what you want to spend your time writing about and what you want to be known for.Make sure you set a really clear intention about all of this that will be a through line in all you do. When you do this the opportunities come to you will be aligned with what you want for yourself, what you are passionate about and what you want to spend your time working on.Consider:What do you want to share in relation to your authorship?What do you want to stand for?What do you want to be known as an expert for?A key part of building your brand involves what you regularly post about your work and your life - generally on social media.Your brand involves what you share about yourself, yes, but you want what you share personally to be always congruous with what you stand for as an author. Be sure to make relevant posts that you would be happy for potential publishers, collaborators and book industry people to see.Yes, of course, you can share some photos and quotes full of fun and lightness, you can share your goofy side, you can share whatever you want! All of this helps people connect with you, but for your author brand, be sure that what your share is in line with your brand and your message.Bear in mind that any publications you pitch, any collaborators you want to work with, any literary agents and publishers you approach will be researching you - and this is why it’s key to have your Author Platform set up properly.Prep WorkIn order to create an author platform you need to be crystal clear about what you want to say in the world, what you want to write and what you want to be known for.So here's some prep work for you to begin with right now - answer these questions:What is the work you want to do?What do you want to write about?What do you stand for?Core AudienceIt’s also important to get clear about your core audience.The more direct and targeted your message is the more potent it will be for them.Consider:Who is your ideal reader?Who can you really help through your work?What are they struggling within their lives?How can you connect with them?There’s something so appealing about clarity and you can feel the difference from authors - and brands, musicians and other creatives - who know what they are about, know what they want to say, know who they want to connect with and get on with doing it.It’s worth taking the time - even an hour - to make these decisions, to set strong and clear intentions. This sets you up perfectly to begin building your author platform.Ultimately a strong author platform is a launching pad for all sorts of possibilities - as yet unseen for you - for connections and collaborations, reviews, features and publicity, speaking engagements and so on.There's so much more about all of this, but I can't go into it all in one blog.Building your author platform is an important thing I focus on with my 1:1 clients. In fact, I created an Ebook “Build Your Book Platform” all about it - including everything from how to get started with speaking engagements, how to create a simple and manageable social media strategy to support your brand.If you'd like to find out more about working with me, please CLICK HEREI hope this blog has been really helpful for you! Feel free to post your takeaways in the comments below and I am absolutely cheering you on with your writing and with all you do!Happy writing and book platform building!Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #7 - 7 Reasons To Write A Book #10 - Self Publishing vs Traditional Publishing. Your Questions Answered! #16 - Book Creation - A Simple Step-By-Step Strategy*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “How Do You Want To Feel? (Goal Setting That Is Fun & Works!)”A few months ago, I set about setting some goals and I ended up winding myself up into a feeling of being a little nuts! I am going to share how I did that, how I untangled it out and what I decided to do for new years goals instead.Traditional methods of goal setting that never worked for me:First of all - here’s how I used to set goals in the past (that I absolutely never reached):- I would follow the advice of some respectable person who seemed to know what he/she was talking about.- I set a desired outcome that I thought was a good idea.- I reverse engineered a perfectly planned and structured schedule. I often outlined a detailed calendar, created financial projections and other stuff too.I basically used to create a perfectly organized plan I would get an A+ for in a Business Organisation class.Here’s why I never reached any of those goals: I forgot to take into account one crucial part of the puzzle – ME!The Personality PartI am an emotional creature. When I’m lined up with what I’m doing (when I love it, when it absolutely means to me, when I’m clear) I work consistently and energetically and I will learn and do whatever I need to in order to create. I LOVE to create. When I’m on form I’m on fire.If I’m off form, I have ways to get back on form that usually work nicely, but some days I am just off form and that’s that.I used to think these off form days were bad days when I wasn’t “pushing through” or was “giving up on my plan” or whatever. Now I realise that being “off form” is also guidance. Maybe it’s guidance that I’m not aligned with what I’m doing or maybe it’s guidance that I’m resistant. Maybe it’s guidance to take a fresh look or to pivot or maybe it’s just guidance that I’m a human being and I need to rest.I realized that I was in the habit of creating perfect plans from a logical perspective, with things I thought made great goals, but I couldn’t stick to them because they weren’t emotionally charged enough for me, Aoife. I wasn’t including me in the picture.Life is happening now. I’m not big on the idea of pushing through days of my life just so I can keep moving towards an end goal. I know that works for some people It doesn’t work for me.I still want to achieve, though. So what to do…?The 2018 goal setting experience – and ultimate resolution:Well, let me tell you about my 2018 plans.First - I am ready for change! I feel like I hibernated in 2017 and did a lot of creation and was introspective and laid a lot of groundwork. In 2018 I want more connection and collaboration and social stuff and fun. Sharing and joy and things like that.So I thought about what I want to do… I made a list and some of the things I listed were:- I want to do interviews and collaborations for My Message Is Love and I want to start a podcast reading these blogs.- I want to record myself singing my songs and playing guitar and share these video. I’m excited to see where all this leads me (maybe recording, maybe live shows, maybe collaborations, maybe a new band…)Pretty cool, right? Still, it felt FLAT.Now I was confused. What’s wrong? I’ve got these epic, aligned things I want to do and still it feels FLAT.So I sat with it for a minute, then I asked myself Why? Why do I want to do these things and not some other things? What do I think I will feel by doing all of this?Answers flooded through…- I want My Message Is Love to feel more social, connected and enjoyable (and hopefully more beneficial for everyone). I want to connect and collaborate with kindred, creative, passionate spirits and enjoy their conversation and learn from them. I want to help others through me having lots of fun.- I’m excited to record music by myself for the first time and be in the absolute joy of that expression. I’m excited and open to where this leads me - maybe recording, maybe live shows, maybe collaborations, maybe a new band…Better, right?You can feel that the emotion behind this – that it’s all more charged.Then it dawned on me!THESE THINGS ARE THE GOALS!The feelings are the goals! Connection, Creativity, Expansion, Fun, Flow...The feelings are the goals and any action is just the play with which to more deeply enjoy the feelings!How cool is that?!So that felt great for a while and then I felt my energy kind of drop again and a heavy feeling come over me. I was wondering why…The subtextI took another minute to get still and quiet (I’m well used to working with my energy now and I’m good at teasing answers and truths out quickly)…I realized that I have a subtext of some limiting beliefs in relation to these and all the other desires I have and it goes something like this:THE DESIRE: I want to do interviews and collaborations for My Message Is Love and I want to start a podcast reading these blogs.THE SUBTEXT: How can I possibly do all of that plus edit and promote? I'm not good at promotion anyway…THE DESIRE: I want to record myself singing my songs and playing guitar and share these video. I’m excited to see where all this leads me (maybe recording, maybe live shows, maybe collaborations, maybe a new band…)THE SUBTEXT: I’m not a good enough musician yet and I haven’t figured out lighting and I hate all of that work anyway…You see what I mean?Although, not pretty, this subtext showed me a previous pattern:I have desiresI get excited about themI feel unsure I have the ability to create them (even though I've created WAAAAYYYY less likely and bigger things in my life)This causes a contradiction within that feels heavyI get disheartenedI pull back.Honestly, it’s uncomfortable to write this stuff. I’m being really honest, though, because I hope it will help someone, and regardless, I’m sure it’s helping me to be so clear.Becoming conscious means that I can create change.Not allowing myself to dream and believe I can have what I dream is basically giving up on life, isn’t it? Think about it!Do you ever do this too? Isn't it uncomfortable to admit it?The light bulb moments!So I stopped and made a decision to change these default habits of thought and as soon as I did that – as soon as I stopped and said “No. Here’s where change happens”:★ I remembered that I have a choice to believe the moany-cow thoughts or to choose to think differently and in a way that supports me.★ I remembered what I have written in multiple blogs from the poem Desiderata by Max Ehrmann, that I am a child of the Universe.“You are a child of the universe,no less than the trees and the stars;you have a right to be here.And whether or not it is clear to you,no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”★ I remembered all my words about having a healthy sense of entitlement to all that life has to offer and a generosity of spirit in giving back. Being like a tree or in Tree – state. Read more HERE ★ I remembered that I can choose to feel only an individual or I can choose to remember that there are solutions and possibilities far beyond my limited thinking and that I am most open to them, and most powerful, when I get out of this loop of head-based thinking.… and then I happened upon a livestream by the amazing Larissa Roberts, who said "It's less about [goals and] manifesting and more about deciding 'This is what i choose. Show me the way.’”★ I remembered that so often we, people, tend to create goals, intentions from a place of lack, of wanting what we don’t have rather than focusing on the feeling of what we desire and leaning into it.★ I remembered: Life is for living. The work is play.It occurred to me that writing comes so easily to me. Why? Because I feel my way through it... Same with editing... I read, I feel my way through the reading and the edits show themselves to me. It can be the same with goal setting and with anything else!So at the end of all that, here is my 10 step unconventional process for goal setting at the New Year - or any other time - to create whatever it is you want in your life and enjoy the whole process:1. Do what it takes to loosen up, lighten up and open up energetically (meditation, a walk or workout, candles, music, a quiet space…)2. Prepare to be brave and honest3. Focus on what you want to feel and experience for the New Year or whatever time ahead4. Go deeper with these desires, "milk" them - why? what is it you want to feel more of in your life? Consider where you already have these feelings in your life.5. Consider how you can bring more of them into your life6. Listen for whispers. Are there any subtexts or beliefs you have that you could hear now? Lean into them. There is guidance here and you can clear these resistances and reassure yourself and recommit.7. Be open to any inspired nudges or intuitive guidance8. Is there any action you can take right now? Or put in your calendar? Something that feels like a great next step?9. Stay open to possibilities - maybe there are more ways to fulfil your desires that you have been believing or seeing.10. Stay in the feeling place of what you desire and have faith in life and in yourself. Be open to change if you want to change.The work is play!Hopefully this - confessional - blog has been helpful for you.Enjoy your goal setting, thank you for being here and I wish you lots and lots and lots of happy writing!Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #7 - 7 Reasons You Should Write A Book #16 - Book Creation - A Simple Step-By-Step Strategy #19 - Procrastinating? Stuck In Perfectionism? Read this...*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “Live From A Place Of Love (Even On Bad Days)”Love.It’s a word that is bandied about and so often used/misused in life. Or else used for things that are really not the same at all.I love dark chocolate.I love my brother.They’re kind of different things, right?!Also, love gets tarred with a kind of pink sparkles and glitter type vibe. Like it’s nice and sweet. But the love I am talking about is a force AND the only way to live, as it happens…What am I talking about?Well before I get started talking about living from a place of love, it would probably make sense to define what I mean by the word "Love"...Defining LoveLove is a powerful and expansive energy and force in the world that works through us and through everything in life. Love is for us to embody in ourselves and employ in our lives.Love is expansive.Think about trust and joy and creativity and kindness. Loving energies. They are opening and expanding. Loving feelings.So more than defining love, you feel love.Now, think about the opposite – fear, anxiety, pressure, stress.They’re contractive, right? Weigh you down. Close you in.Consider the physicality associated with these two opposite energies – love and fear. Contraction and expansion. One opens and allows possibilities. Physically, too, we open. Shoulders back, wide smiles, chest open. The other shuts down. Head heavy, shoulders caved forward, arms folded.In life, we have been conditioned to think that we find answers up in our brains, by figuring things out. Truly, the answers are in your body.You FEEL what is true for you.You FEEL love.This powerful force of love is one you choose, it’s one you commit to living from.It’s not always easy. We’re human beings – some days will be easier than others, but we always have a choice in how we respond to life.When you consistently choose to live from a place of love – of being honest, of opening, of stepping out of the drama and choosing defencelessness, life does change.How do you that? Here are some guidelines:1. Remember that you are the Universe and the Universe is you.Here are my favourite lines of poetry ever, from Desiderata by Max Ehrmann:"You are a child of the universe,no less than the trees and the stars;you have a right to be here.And whether or not it is clear to you,no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."There’s no arguing with that, is there?Life is expressing through the trees and the stars – through the branches and the light in the sky. Life is expressing through the gifts of the Universe – life-sustaining things we so often take for granted (air, water, shelter, nourishment, love).Life is expressing through us – in how we express ourselves and through what we love to do, what brings us joy.Life is expressing through you.So let’s take a tree…A tree has a healthy sense of entitlement, it absorbs all it needs - all the nutrients from the earth and the air and the rain - and it expands and expresses itself abundantly, with beautiful branches and leaves and maybe flowers too.The same principle applies to you and to me.We are the entitled ones.We are entitled to the gifts of the Universe and it’s our job to be us the best that we can be – through growth and creativity and expansion and joy – and to give back to the world.What we tend to do so often in life is get caught up in daily details and melodramas. We get mired in them – we attach to them and then we make them mean something about ourselves and our lives.We get caught in our heads and in fear.When we are in this small, isolated, singular mindset it’s easy to feel small and contracted and disconnected from your inner power.When you choose Love, that loving energy, you can open up to new possibilities. When you are employing loving force in your life you can make choices. You can choose what you want to engage in (or not), you can choose how you do (or don’t) want to engage and you can choose your interpretations.Love affords you power and choice.It means resting into that tree-state of trust in life, feeling safe.I know, I know… it’s a nice concept - resting into that tree-state of trust in life, feeling safe – but that’s not the experience most of us have had in the world. I count myself in that.So how do you learn to feel safe?Well...2. How To Experience A Deeper Sense of Connectedness and Love In Your Life The first step is in making the choice to generate feelings of trust and safety and entitlement. We can claim them! (After all, we are the entitled ones!)How do you do that?You practice feeling into your body.The world has conditioned and has schooled us out of trusting our primal instincts – but it has not removed them.Your intuition, your inner guidance is there. You can turn your attention to it and build up your connection with your intuition so that you have a deep trust in it.Here are some steps:- Start by being willing, by being open to the idea of connecting with your inner guidance.- Ask questions and look for the anything you notice that pops out to you throughout your day. Do this lightly and with play.- Bear in mind that we are sentient beings. You may get guidance in ways that are different to what your brain expects. Just take the attitude that you are learning and the work is play.- Notice your senses. Do you hear a song or a conversation? Do you see a picture or have a vision of a memory in your mind? Do you have a feeling or a sense in your body?Just be open and practice and notice. Be careful not to attach or make something mean something at this stage. Just gently explore your intuitive guidance.Author, Sonia Choquette says that rather than asking polarising questions about right/wrong or yes/no, ask, “Is this true for me?” and see what response you get.Prepare to be surprised!3. Living Your Life From A Place Of LoveYou know the expression “Charity begins at home”?Well, the same principle applies with love. You must love yourself first.Loving yourself is more than bubble baths or buying yourself flowers or a new dress (or whatever the case may be for you).Loving yourself means being radically honest with yourself and listening to yourself. It means speaking your truth. It means setting healthy boundaries.Loving yourself means really treating yourself with love and care and respect and following through on this with your actions.An extension of that love is speaking to yourself with encouragement and kindness, having a healthy discipline, being careful who you surround yourself with, how you nurture yourself - emotionally, mentally and spiritually.It means creating a life that is worthy of you and that feels good.Then you extend this loving practice to all people and you bring this loving energy into everything you do in your life. Love is strong.Know that sometimes love says no. Sometimes honoring yourself and what feels true to you means disappointing other people. That’s ok.What matters is the energy you are living from. Which brings me to...4. Living Your Life From A Place Of Love (Even On Bad Days)When you create a practice of living from love on the good days, this becomes your habit and what you can default to on not so good days..Here’s something else:Sometimes the loving choice is to allow yourself feel low or down and not try to force yourself out of it.Living from a place of love means being honest and real in the moment. It means allowing yourself to feel your feelings – whatever they are.To me it’s a thing of “be like a toddler”. When a toddler is mad, he/she is MAD, but next second when he/she is happy, madness is 100% gone.When you allow yourself feel your feelings, without getting attached and without making them mean something more, they pass quickly.If you have been holding a lot of your feelings in, this concept could feel scary. In fact, if you’ve been suppressing things you feel for a while when you do start to allow yourself feel them you may feel crashed into by all the feelings you have been holding down and have not expressed. As you allow yourself to feel and to express them, though, everything settles down.The key on bad days is “No judgment.” Just have a day. My sister sent me this one time when I was going through a tough time and I love it:“I know you’re sad, so I won’t tell you to have a good day.Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothesand don’t give up on yourself just yet.It’ll get better. Until then, have a day.”- AnonymousOn bad days, hold to the truth that this too will pass – even if you can’t feel it, just know it.If you’re in emotionally charged situations, calm before you speak or send an email or text - even if that means delaying your response or telling the person you can’t talk about it right now.Our actions and words come back to us, so if possible it’s better to communicate from a grounded place.Regardless, the bottom line is that we are who we are and that’s ok. Get any support you need – professional, friend or family member – and be kind to yourselfSomething else about the bad days: sometimes they are the release, sometimes they are the gift. They hold wisdom within them. When you feel ready, lean in to the fear or the upset and listen for the guidance they have to share. What might you be resisting? What change might you be wanting? What might you be angry at yourself or someone else for?Know that when you are ready you will find your way through.Everything is going to work out because it has to. Life goes on.Lean in to the truth that there are more possibilities than you are experiencing in the moment.I hope that was helpful for you today and that some things sparked for you and got you thinking in a good way!Here’s a Free PDF download for you to print/save (no opt-in necessary) called “Live From A Place Of Love (Even On Bad Days)”. It outlines all the key points from this blog.As always, thank you so much for being here and for reading.I wish you happy writing and happy living too!AoifexoP.S. Here’s that Free PDF download for you to print/save (no opt-in necessary) called “Live From A Place Of Love (Even On Bad Days)”.********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #6 - Be The Anomaly (In Your Writing And Life)#18 - Just Have A Day - Guidance For When You Feel Down#26 - Sensitive And Creative? STOP Blocking Yourself!*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “Procrastinating? Stuck In Perfectionism? Read this...”Procrastination. Perfectionism.You know what we're talking about, right? Resistance.“Imposter Syndrome”. Fear of Criticism. Incompletion.It’s all resistance.When life is working really well, when creativity is working really well, it flows. Now, there's work involved in that for sure. It might take a little bit to get there, but if you're stuck, if you're not even sitting down to do your work, that's generally resistance.Resistance is a pretty sneaky. It shows up as things like procrastination or self-doubt or not finishing what you start or whatever it may be for you.Resistance can feel pretty insurmountable. Especially when you have had these habits of behavior for a long time - they can feel almost impossible to break through.Believe me, though. It is absolutely possible to break through resistance - and It is possible for your writing to flow freely and easily for you and pleasurably too!So.... let's do this:First I'll talk about how I've seen resistance show up for the people I've worked with.Then I'll tell you my own resistance story and the 2 biggest things I learned.Finally, I'll give you 7 steps to breaking through resistance (and I'll link you to something else that will help...)Common Ways Resistance Shows Up:I’ve worked for quite some time as a book coach and I’ve resistance rear it’s tricky little head in different ways for different people - but here are the most common ways I’ve seen resistance shows up for people I have worked with:Procrastination - when when you find any number of reasons to avoid sitting down and writing.Perfectionism - where nothing you do feels good enough to share. Perfectionism may stop you from even starting, may keep you perpetually in “draft” mode or maybe allow you to complete a draft, but not share it with the world.“Imposter Syndrome” - This is where you feel like a fake or a fraud. You know the thoughts: “Who am I to think I could be a writer?” or “What have I got to say that is different?” or “Who would want to listen to me?”. Yep. “Imposter Syndrome”.Fear of Criticism - Fear of the judgement or criticism of others is a root cause of much resistance and ties in with the other types of resistance I’ve mentioned so far.Incompletion - Not following through. Have you got multiple project that you started but didn’t finish? Or several unfinished drafts of the one project hanging around? Incompletion.Know this: No matter how long you’ve been in these patterns or no matter how emotionally charged these resistance habits are for you they are just habits of behaviour - and I promise you that they can be changed.It doesn't matter how long you have been in resistance or how long you have been having difficulty with your creativity. All that matters is that you:commit to yourself and do the work to change and create new habits.believe that you can change - even if you have tried before. That was then so it’s totally different. This is now.My StoryAs you may know if you are reading this, I’m a book coach and a book editor, but I’m also a singer and a songwriter.Writing has always come easily for me, however, for years I was stuck in resistance in relation to singing and songwriting.I knew from the time I was really little that these were things I wanted to do in my life. I wanted to sing songs I had written myself, but I felt absolutely unable to.I was completely terrified by the idea of performing in front of people. I was consumed by the fear that I would not be good enough as a singer and a writer, but what really held me back most of all was the fear of being judged or criticised or laughed at by anybody for doing that I loved.All of this led to me really down and really low, because as the years went by I wasn't living life as I wanted to. I wasn’t allowing myself be the person I wanted to be. I wasn’t giving myself permission to do the things I wanted to and I didn't feel like I would be ever able to break through that.So the downward spiral continued - of not doing what I loved and feeling unhappy because I was not doing what I loved.This went on for years until - thankfully - at some time in my early twenties I was working at a job I hated in a cold, damp, ugly office. I had a boss who was pretty inappropriate to say the least and I turned up for work many days holding back tears. I was really unhappy.Ultimately, it dawned on me that I had spent the previous few years doing things I didn't want to and I knew that if I didn't stop and make a change this was going to be my next few years as well.In that moment I made a decision to do whatever I needed to to break through my resistance and fear so I could live my life doing the things I wanted to in the way I wanted to - singing and writing and expressing myself freely as I am.That was the start of quite a journey!I needed to become really honest about what I was or wasn’t doing in my habits, I needed to face my fears, I needed to show up for myself, I needed to do the work (to start at the very beginning of learning how to write songs and how to record and perform and all of those things. I had to overcome my resistance patterns (of procrastination and perfectionism and “Imposter Syndrome” and fear of criticism) to write and to sing.I did, too! Ultimately I traveled and toured in the States and in Europe with my own band, singing songs that I had written myself. I released albums and made videos and had my music and lots more and it was awesome!Here are the two biggest things I learned:Yes, it can feel hard or scary to do your creative work and share it with the world, and you do open yourself up criticism and whatever else you may currently be fearing - but it is much harder and much scarier not to do your creative work and share it with the world. I promise.Resistance shows up day-to-day in ways that feel so “normal” they feel impossible to change. Ways like procrastination, perfectionism, self doubt, not feeling good enough to do the very thing you most want to do, not completing and following through on the projects you start, the paralysing fear of the criticism or judgement of others… They feel so part of life it can feel unthinkable to really change them. I promise you, though, it is absolutely possible change.Ready to change?Here are 7 Steps To Break Through ResistanceRealise that nothing has gone wrong here. You are simply in habituated ways of being that do not serve you anymore. Piling on self-judgement and blame won’t help - it will just reinforce those feelings. Be kind to yourself. It’s ok. Now let’s figure out a new way to be.Get clear about what you really want in relation to your writing. FEEL why you want to write. What do you love about it? What excites you about having a finished project? Get really clear about and connected with these desires, with your motivation and inspiration.See fear as your friend and get curious. Nice and easy. Fear is giving you lots of great insight and guidance that you will use to move forward. Gently ask questions about what fear is trying to tell you, what valuable learning is held within the feelings of fear. Does your path forward look different to what you have been expecting? How can you change course?Notice what your habits are. Awareness is the first step to change. Do all this from a place of gentle curiosity. What are my habits here? Isn’t this interesting! Why do I do this? What can i learn here?Identify how you might create new habits - habits that support what you truly want to do and how you deeply want to be. Really have your own back in this.Put these habits in place. Try them out. Test them. Adapt them to improve them. Really commit to this.Expect changes and as they happen welcome them and enjoy them.This might seem like a lot of effort, but believe me, it already takes you a lot of effort and energy to procrastinate, to hold yourself back, to criticise yourself, to worry...When you release the resistance and allow your creativity to flow it becomes FUN and exciting and energising.It’s not just for you - it’s for your audience too, because:You matter in the world.Your voice matters in the world.What you have to say and what you have to share is important.Your words and work can truly impact the people you reach.(Read: Make A Real Difference With Your Writing)I am cheering you on in breaking through your resistance and I'm here to support you in any way I can!Thank you so much for being here!Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #5 - 5 Ways To End Writer's Block (Without Bullying Yourself) #13 - How To Not Care What People Think About You (Or Your Work) #26 - Sensitive And Creative? STOP Blocking Yourself!*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “Just Have A Day - Guidance For When You Feel Down”.The world just wants us to go on. You know… when we feel low.The world is kind of ok with us feeling a little down now and again, with us “having a bad day”, just as long as it doesn’t happen too often and we pick ourselves up and get back on track and don’t interfere with the normal running of our job or relationship or whatever.“Smile, though your heart is breaking” as the song says.I disagree.Recently I went through a tough time, a really tough time – the depth of which took me by surprise.I see myself as a happy person; someone who believes that happiness is a choice and someone who, although having lived through a fair amount of shit at various times (part of being a human being, right?), chooses happiness.Yet for weeks and weeks that went on and on I felt really low.I won’t go into the details of the why of all of this. That’s not what this is about. It’s also not about any “happy pill” or way to magically feel better.Instead I want to write about what I found that helped – and by helped I mean helped make feeling bad feel a little easier, until ultimately it lifted and passed.You see all emotions – including the ones that feel bad and the ones that hurt - hold valuable guidance within them. They are golden. There are truths being whispered, often long hidden truths that are aching to be heard.These feelings may be inconvenient for us in our modern lives, but the inopportune timing can often be another clue as to what we are really feeling that we have not been allowing ourselves acknowledge.These dark times are an invitation to lean in closer and listen to what our feelings have to say, what guidance is housed with them. *Being really honest, being real about our feelings opens us up to hearing this guidance and from there we are empowered to change.New ideas can start to spark, new opportunities to open up - all in a way that is real and sustainable. So at the end of the day, it is all good. It just may take a few brave steps or a little bit of time to get there.So today instead of the blog I intended to write (about building your book platform – I’ll do that next week), I want to share with you some things that helped me get through a particularly dark time. I hope that they help you too if you need them:1 . Talk about how you feelI read a book recently called “Reasons to Stay Alive” by Matt Haig and one of his pieces of advice was that talking helps.I started by talking to someone I really trust, my sister. This really helped. Gradually, I talked to a couple of friends and another member of my family.It’s the being listened to and feeling understood that makes all the difference. Something I knew, logically, but hadn’t done.The thing is that in my life I’ve usually been the person people come to talk to looking for guidance or advice - “the strong one”. Often I just “deal with stuff myself” because I’m usually pretty good at that. This time I wasn’t good at dealing with stuff myself, but it took me a while to see that all that I was holding in was hurting me.Talking helped, as did being held and feeling heard and remembering that I am loved.2. Get any support you needSome dark times are darker than others. You might need to go to a support group if that helps. You might need to visit a therapist. Get any support you need.I made a couple of appointments with a healer I hadn’t been to in years. I had a sense that I had hammered myself down energetically and I needed someone to talk to who could help me understand on that level – not just a logical one – what was going on with me.Honor yourself in whatever you need wherever you are.3. Honor yourselfThis was a tricky one for me.Even as I spoke to the people I am closest to, when I confessed “I feel really low right now” I found myself wanting to add on “but I’m sure I’ll be fine” or “but this too will pass” or something similar.Honoring my feelings meant that I couldn’t say those qualifying things this time. It wasn’t because I didn’t believe them to be true – logically, I did – I just couldn’t feel them to be true in the moment.I knew that I would have been saying those things for them, not for me. I would have been saying them because I didn’t want them to be worried or because I didn’t want to be a burden. It was about care-taking. The truth, though, was that really honoring and how I felt in that moment meant saying only “I feel really low right now”.It’s subtle, but it’s significant. I practiced being truthful without adding on the qualifier/disclaimer. Somehow that helped.I also gave myself permission to feel however I wanted to feel in the moment – and without judgment. Just letting tears fall without telling myself I needed to be getting over this or that I was being a baby or whatever.I just surrendered to feeling how I felt and gradually I stopped judging it. I stopped feeling badly about it. I just accepted where I was as where I was. That helped.That’s how feelings work, I know. They need to be expressed to be processed. In simpler words: you need to feel it to heal it. Which is often inconvenient, but still true.4. “Empty The Garbage”So, somehow in the middle of all of this I ended up at a seminar by a lady named Sonia Choquette. I hadn’t heard of her before but I was so thankful to have found her. She works a lot with intuition and she has a process she calls “emptying the garbage”, which is so simple and so helpful.Here’s what you do:#1. Out loud list 3 – 5 things you are feeling afraid about – “I am afraid that…”#2. Now, out loud, list 3 – 5 things you can in the world around you – “I see the cursor blinking on my computer screen”, “I see the golden leaves on the branches of the tree outside my window”… You get the idea.#3. Repeat the process 1 or 2 times.So you vocalize what is troubling you and then you bring yourself into the present moment. Then you repeat the process a few times till you feel better.That helped.5. Writing can help.Stream of consciousness writing. Journal writing. Story writing. Superhero exercise writing.There's something especially cathartic and physical about using a pen and paper.Try writing and see how it goes.6. Just have a dayMy sister sent me this quote:“I know you’re sad, so I won’t tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day. Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes and don’t give up on yourself just yet. It’ll get better. Until then, have a day.” - AnonymousI think what’s great about this is the taking the pressure off.I know we are fortunate in the world. If you are reading this you have likely had education and you have access to a computer and you’re smart, because these aren’t run-of-the-mill concepts.I know how lucky I am in so many ways. I know I am loved. I know I have talents and have so much to give. For a while there, I just couldn’t feel it and I needed to find my way back to feeling it.It felt so uncomfortable to be so “off” form, but as I heard from a few different people during this time, “uncomfortable is good”! Uncomfortable means being in a place that is new, out of a comfort zone, lots to learn. That makes sense to me.So anyway, all that is definitely more vulnerable and uncomfortable than I have written before, but for some reason I’m feeling guided to write it so I trust that this is for good reason and I hope that maybe someone might be helped by reading it.I am sending a warm - albeit virtual - hug to whoever needs one today and also to whoever would like one too! If you found this blog helpful and know someone who might find it helpful too, please pass it on.I believe it’s our duty as human beings to look out for each other. That’s what we’re here for, I reckon. To be ourselves the very best we can be (i.e. to express love) and to have fun. That’s purpose in a nutshell, as far as I am concerned.As always, and maybe especially today, I thank you so much for reading and listening, I hope this was helpful and I wish you lots of happy writing!Aoifexo* Please do get help from a friend or a professional if you need to.********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #13 - How To Not Care What People Think About You (Or Your Work) #20 - Live From A Place Of Love (Even On Bad Days) #26 - Sensitive And Creative? STOP Blocking Yourself!*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “A Superhero Writing Exercise”.Recently I was writing for a project and ended up in completely unfamiliar territory – researching comic books and superheroes. I found myself having a crazy level of respect and enthusiasm for the writers - and graphic artists - who created these comic books originally.The intelligence and vision and imagination and ground-breaking-ness (I know that’s not a real word!) behind the character creations blew my mind!I’ll share a little bit about my favorite example - Wonder Woman:Wonder Woman first appeared in DC Comics way back in 1941 - the creation of American writer, William Moulton Marston and American artist, Harry G. Peter.Marston was a psychologist and was very inspired by early feminists, some of whom he was friends with and/or related to. He believed that female leadership was necessary in a world that was at the time pervaded by the hate and violence of World War II.He once wrote, “Frankly, Wonder Woman is psychological propaganda for the new type of woman who should, I believe, rule the world”. He said he created her as a “love warrior”Marston believed that women were more honest than men in certain situations and could work faster and more accurately. During his lifetime, Marston championed the latent abilities and causes of the women of his day.He based some of Wonder Woman’s character on a woman named Margaret Sanger, who opened the very first ever birth-control clinic in the States with her sister, Ethel Byrne. For Wonder Woman visually he was inspired by his wife, Elizabeth, and his/their lover. (The three lived together in the same house and both women had children by Marston within the same time period! Anyway…)Additionally, Marston was an inventor and one of his inventions what the polygraph/lie detector machine, so it’s interesting to notice the presence of the lasso of truth as one of Wonder Woman’s arsenal of weapons.So what’s my point…?Well, I’ve been thinking about the ideas of superheroes (or real life people) as role models for us in our lives - role models for how to behave with integrity or courage or as more than we believe we are.Using superheroes as role models isn’t just a silly idea - it’s confirmed by psychologists to work. It's confirmed to help us stand strong in the face of adversity or challenge and develop a desired trait.Amy Cuddy, an expert in human behavior from the Harvard School of Business, speaks about the value of “Power Poses”, for example. Like standing firmly with your shoulders back and your chest strong and your hands on your hips (like Wonder Woman) or in a "victory pose", where you throw your arms in the air in triumph.Author, Anthony Robbins agrees. He suggests a “Cape Walk” where you imagine that you are wearing a Superman cape that is flowing behind you as you strut confidently about.The idea is that these physical activities have a very real affect on our psychology and our energy and our mindset. When you have connected with this confident and powerful energy, you can then bring it with you into a real situation in your life.There’s another little thing we humans do in life called “confirmation bias”.The nuts and bolts of "confirmation bias" are that we believe something to be true so we filter our experience of life through that lens and we create experiences that confirm our belief, thus strengthening it. With these strengthened beliefs and repetitive experiences it can be hard to believe that we are actually choosing our experience - or that we can change.The truth is that we each have more power and ability within us than we employ in our lives.The truth is that all of us human beings have access to a far greater spectrum of feelings and abilities than we allow ourselves access in daily life, because we don’t believe an expanded way of living or being outside our normal lives is possible for us.Don’t believe me?Let’s focus just on our physical senses, then…Think about when you are feeling nauseous. Doesn’t the smell of food – or anything, really - around you feel all the more acute?Or if you have a fever - doesn’t a normal light in a room feel absolutely blinding?Or taste… pregnant women report being so much more sensitive to taste than they were before they were pregnant.This shows us that we have access to experiences of life beyond what we usually employ.We all have strength and resilience within us too. We all can surprise ourselves at times when we find we are more capable of something than we thought we were.Having a role model is an awesome way to believe that “if it’s possible for them it’s possible for me too”You’ll see you see “The Hero’s Journey” played out in so many stories – from Cinderella to Wonder Woman and beyond.“The Hero’s Journey” is a term generally attributed to author, Joseph Campbell. It’s used to outline a personal path through adversity to transformation. Typically a hero goes on an adventure, encounters difficulty and in a turning point moment (usually one of crisis) wins a victory and returns home transformed.This hero’s journey is so resonant and relatable for people because we are all familiar with the ups and downs of life and we love to see other people overcome, because it provides us with the example that we can too.Plus, when it comes to superheroes… they are so often the outsiders or the introverts or shy people when they are not in their superhero role. They are observers, intelligent and aware. Then their abilities and powers are fully expressed when they are in full superhero mode.This is no accident. This is by design. It is symbolic of each of us in everyday life. We hold potential within us that we are fully capable of reaching.Add to that that we writers tend to be a more introspective, observant and sensitive bunch, often prone to over-thinking, over-questioning (including of ourselves), but with the potential to express whatever-the-hell-we-want through our writing.So here’s what I am leading to with all of this talk about mindset and role models and potential:I have a challenge for you (and for me):1. I want you to choose about one strength, skill or quality you would like to develop in yourself.2. How would you like to embody this skill in your life? What would you do? Who would you help?3. Identify one way that you are already employing this strength, skill or quality in your life. Even one small way you are employing the beginning, the seed of this strength, skill or quality in your life.4. Choose a role model – yes superheroes count! – as an example for how you can embody his strength, skill or quality more.5. Write about this. For the fun of it and as you want to! Write it in affirmative statements. Write it in a creative story. Write it as your future self. Be loose and play with this.* Click here for a downloadable PDF you can use for your answers *I want to inspire us all - myself included - to reach for more, to believe that we can and to know that not only are we benefitted when we reach and expand in a positive way, but we create a knock-on example for others too.So again:Download this "A Superhero Writing Exercise" PDF and fill in your answersHave fun!As always, thank you for being here and for listening and reading and I wish you lots of happy writing!Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #2 - Writers Write - How To Find Your Reliable Creative Flow #12 - Why The Rules Of Good Manners Do Not Apply To Writers #24 - The Psychology of Social Media Content For Your Book, Business or Brand*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “Book Creation: A Simple Step-By-Step Strategy”I often have conversations about books and writing and life with random people - strangers - I encounter in life. I sometimes buy extra copies of my favorite books to hand out and I have even walked around the city leaving books in random places (with a little gift note in the inside page) for anybody who finds them and cares to take them and read them.I find that when you ask people how they are or ask them about themselves - and you really are interested in their answer - they are so willing to open up and share.I enjoy people and I love to listen, so I often find myself chatting to strangers who tell me the stories of their lives.Some stories I have heard:- One time a makeup artist told me a story about her mother fleeing her war torn Eastern European home many years earlier while hiding her baby under her arm. That baby grew up to be the makeup artist I was speaking to.- Another time in an acting class, a man shared with me that he had been sexually abused as a child and had felt on the outside of his life ever since, but he felt that acting was starting to help him work through this.- Then there was a morning in the arrivals hall of Dublin airport when a woman shared with me that she was waiting for her daughter to fly in from San Francisco, home early from a work placement, because her father, the lady’s husband was dying. She had told him that his daughter had just had enough of the States, concealing the truth of what was really happening.All very personal and intimate stories to share with a stranger, right? Maybe it’s not like that. Really, I think we just all want to be truly seen and heard in life and not judged. So possibly it is easier to share with a stranger when that stranger is there to listen?So often when I hear people tell their stories of life and of overcoming their individual ups and downs I feel that these stories are so important to tell - stories full of variety and love and adventure and hope and joy and pain and sadness and LIFE.Sometimes people themselves will say that they have often thought of writing a book and sometimes I will say to them “You should write a book!” I say it to my sister, who is made for writing fiction! I says it to my Dad who tells funny stories of growing up in old Dublin. I say it to my pilot friend who takes spectacular photos from the cockpit of private jets and wants to create a photo book!I love hearing people tell their stories and I feel so passionately that these life experiences could impact and inspire and help others. Truly, you can make a real difference with your writing!When I ask people why they haven’t written a book so far, they give me a variety of reasons – they wouldn’t know where to begin or it seems like it would take a long time or they wouldn’t know how to get it out in the world.Here’s the thing – Now is the best time ever in life to create. Whether it’s creating music or a book or art or whatever.Why?Well, for 3 reasons:1. Creation falls into the “Important but not urgent” category. There will rarely be an urgent moment to create. It’s something that can so easily be put off. It’s something you feel can easily be put off for another time, another day.It IS important though. Your stories mark your experiences and your energy and your life. When you want to write about them and you do write about them you honor them as important and you do others the gift of sharing your life and your creativity and your learning with them. You become a torch-bearer or a teacher or an entertainer.2. You’ve heard the expression “Strike while the iron is hot”? A perfect example is to write in the moment you are fired up with emotion and to ride that wave of inspiration and energy.3. Right now in life so much of the power and choice when it comes to writing and launching a book – or any other creative endeavor - is in the hands of the creator. You can decide what you want to share, the means by which you want to share it, how you want to fund what you are doing and you can take charge of your own media so you can connect directly with your audience.Over the past little while as I’ve been listening to people saying they have a story to tell and they want to write a book, I’ve been listening extra hard and I’ve been asking questions so I can understand how I can help through the work I do.It seems that many people who want to write a book feel that it’s an elusive kind of dream, something for someday, something overwhelming.Really, they don’t know what steps they need to take to get their work out into the world. Or what order to do this in.Now, this is the part where I can help.Writing a book is not a someday thing.Really, it’s simply a matter of following a set of steps and doing a bit of work – and like all the good things in life the work is enjoyable work.So today I have a couple of questions for you.My questions for you are:1. What story do you have to tell? What book do you want to write? What is your message, your guidance to share? What have you lived through that you can help someone else live through?2. You’ve known a long time that you have this urge to write. Isn’t it time you made this a priority for yourself? (This is a trick question - the only answer is "YES!")I have a graphic for you.Book Creation - A Simple Step By Step StrategyThis is an outline of the basic steps to take to create and prep for the launch of your book.You can download it HEREWhat I want is for you to see is that this is all just a step-by-step process - it doesn't have to be done in a specific time frame. It’s not complicated and it’s not hard.It's also possible to do different things at the same time - for example, you can begin to build your book platform as you write your first draft of your book.Yes, there is work involved, but when writing a book is something you feel called to do the work is enjoyable and rewarding too.This graphic is a brief summary and is definitely not exhaustive, but it's an excellent start! You can download that graphic HEREThank you for listening and reading and, as always, I wish you lots of happy writing!Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #8 - Writing A Book Is Easier Than You Think!#9 - Your Audience Is Watching! 4 Tips On How To Be Ready… #22 - How To Build An Audience For Your Book (Even If You Haven't Written It Yet!)*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called:”5 Secrets To Attention Grabbing Stories.”Nothing in life connects like stories.Stories are how we create meaning from life. We infuse our stories with lots of emotion and we make them mean things about ourselves and our lives.Think about it:This [story] happened and it made me understand this [meaning].This is my [story] and it taught me/helped me to realize [meaning].There is also that feeling when someone lets their guard or persona down to share their truth with you. You know that feeling? The empathy. The human connection.The stories we each tell give us the opportunity to experience life in a different way and through different perspectives. When you tell your stories you gift others the opportunity to understand you or to empathize with you - and also to learn from you.All these things: Story + Emotion + Meaning + Empathy + Connection = The things we love in life. The things we crave in life.We look to others for inspiration and for proof that if they can something we can do it too. If they can overcome a fear, we can! We know they can through their stories so we feel we can too.Our stories are unique to us. Nobody in the world is quite like you are and how you have experienced something is unique to you and how you tell it is too.It's important to infuse story in whatever you are creating in the world - a book, a blog, a song, whatever it is. Story is also important in your brand, even if your brand is a personal brand. What's your personal story that backs up your message?So let's talk more about elements of compelling storytelling.In a recent episode and a recent blog, I spoke about How to Make a Real Difference With Your Writing, I gave tips for how to write with a clear, strong voice and shared why it is important to speak your simple honest truth.In this blog, I want to do deeper into storytelling and share with you some ways to really heighten your storytelling, so that it can resonate even more with your reader.These tips work whether you are writing a book or a blog or a guest article.Before you begin sharing your stories a few things are important:Be clear. Know what you want to say. Know the ultimate point you want to make and know what story you want to tell to illustrate this point.Be aware of why you are telling your story and make sure your motivations are positive ones. Be sure that you will stand behind your decision to share whatever it is you are sharing over time or if it is reprinted or if you are challenged.So, with all that in place, here are some ways that you can play with your storytelling:1. Share The Internal DetailsDid you ever experience a moment where something ordinary is happening in life, but your internal feelings are absolutely extraordinary? Or don’t match the situation?One moment pops to mind from a few years ago when I was making a really expensive flight purchase. I had postponed buying the tickets because the idea of spending so much money was uncomfortable to me - I had never spent so much on a flight before – but also because I felt anxious about the trip I would be making.When the moment came to pay I held my hand over the computer mouse and as I did so I noticed I felt weak and that my hand was shaky. I noticed the knot in my stomach, the extreme tension and discomfort. I noticed my heart beating hard in my chest.If you were a person looking at me from the outside, you wouldn’t have known anything extraordinary was happening, but internally I was feeling a lot of distress.Juxtaposition is interesting in storytelling, because it adds interest. Also, as readers, we know what it's like to perform ordinary tasks but have a contrasting feeling under the surface. We can empathize with that feeling of tension and we know that there is more to the story than just girl-sitting-at-computer-buying-plane-ticket.This creates a perfect springboard to lead into the meat of your story – the why? “Why was she I feeling this way?”2. Share The Pictures In Your MindA similar approach is to describe the places your mind wanders to in certain moments – or to create a visual analogy.What do I mean?Well, have you ever been in a situation where something is happening in your present and your mind focuses in on a tiny and ordinary and seemingly insignificant detail?Like raindrops on a window or a spider making a web outside?I remember a few years ago when I was talking on the phone with a boyfriend. We had been together for a couple of years, he was in a different country and we had been back and forth across continents multiple times. A phone call was usual, but this phone call was different. We were breaking up. Those conversations are upsetting anyway. He was being very gentle and kind with me and I was crying.As we were talking I had the strangest, random image in my mind. I had a vision of a wooden pier beside the sea somewhere nonspecific. Nobody was around and the boat was attached to the pier by a long rope, which was loosely fastened. As we talked I had a sense of water gently moving the boat out from the pier until the rope was stretched. It was still attached but was just holding on.As we decided in our conversation that the best thing was to break up, in my mind I saw the rope detach and the boat slowly but surely move out to sea.Somehow my inner vision matched up what was happening. The reluctance, the holding on, the letting go, the ending, the no going back.Sometimes visuals analogies are used particularly well in songwriting, but they are things that can be included in all stories to illustrate and reinforce a point being made.How might you use visual analogies in your storytelling?3. The Action Movie ElementThink of an action movie. You know the way they start an action movie on a high? There’s a dramatic explosion or geological event or an attention-grabbing something-or-other that happens. Larger than life. Exciting.Straight away you are taken from your ordinary life and you are placed right in the moment of whatever is happening in the movie.That!Ok, you’re probably not writing an action movie, but what I mean here is to adapt the action movie principle for whatever it is you are writing.“So there I was in the darkness of night on a Gondola in Venice, the water gently lapping against the sides of the boat and a Gondolier standing ahead of me, expertly guiding the Gondola around the corner of the canal as I deeply sighed…”Straight away, people are in a new place and time and you’ve got their attention.Next, you can lead in to the meat of your story and the reason you are telling them all this.4. Play With Time And PerspectiveDetails like tense and perspective can make a story or a memory all the more impactful or poignant for your reader.Play with the tenses.Does your story work better if it’s told in the present tense? Or if you tell the story in the third person (as he or she) rather than the first person?What works best for the message you are trying to share through your story?5. Share Specifically And Personally.It’s better to tell one particular story well and illustrate a specific point. This is clear and easy for your reader to read, understand and, in their own time, fully process, rather than overshare and overwhelm them.We can only ever guess and assume what others are thinking or feeling, but when we speak personally we can speak authoritatively. We can say “In that moment, this is how I felt” or “All of a sudden I realized exactly what this meant for me” or “This is what I then made this mean for me.”Life is all about perspective anyway and the filters we each experience our lives through. That’s what makes stories so fascinating to us, really. They give us the opportunity to learn about and experience life through different filters.Even a book is really a collection of a whole load of stories that interweave.So there you go! I hope these tips have been really helpful for you.Please, please link me to your writing as you use this guidance! I would love to read your stories and your work in the world.Thank you for being here and for reading and, as always, I wish you lots of happy writing!Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #12 - Why The Rules Of Good Manners Do Not Apply To Writers #14 - Make A Real Difference With Your Writing #22 - How To Build An Audience For Your Book (Even If You Haven't Written It Yet!)*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “Make A Real Difference With Your Writing.”Ever feel like you’re a little different to other people in the world? Or even a lot different?Ever feel a little on the outside of life? On the edges? Where there’s no Kool Aid to drink?Ever feel like an alien on this crazy little blue planet?!(Well then - as Miranda Lambert sings - we should be friends! That's beside the point, though!)I recently read a book by Matt Haig called Reasons To Stay Alive. He wrote this book about his experiences with depression.One part in particular really spoke to me. It reads:“The world is increasingly designed to depress us. Happiness isn’t very good for the economy…. How do you sell an anti-ageing moisturiser? You make someone worry about ageing. How do you get people to vote for a political party? You make them worry about immigration. How do you get them to buy insurance? By making them worry about everything. How do you get them to have plastic surgery? By highlighting their physical flaws. How do you get them to watch a TV show? By making them worry about missing out. How do you get them to buy a new smartphone? By making them feel like they are being left behind.”I don’t think I am alone in feeling drained by all of this sort of stuff in the world. Also by celebrity culture and sensationalist media and the social media highlight reel and whatever else.“Turn it off!” you may say. I do. In fact, I don’t even turn it on!! I don’t watch the news or read magazines and I limit any time on social media. Yet, still, it seems to surround me. News channels in the dentist reception area. Magazines in shops. Ad retargeting.So, ok… that’s life in the here and now. Fair enough.Here’s my point:Many, many people in life can feel all of this – and feel affected by it - without even being aware of what they are feeling.The world is more than just physical. Just because things aren’t visible doesn’t mean they aren’t, in the truest sense, tangible. Yet, this is not common conversation in the world.So many people feel on the outside, like they don’t fit in.Much of the world that we are part of is made up of a construct in one form or another, a series of systems set up to cater for masses of people or the economy. I’m thinking of everything from the schooling system to societal norms to daylight saving time.However, given that we people are individuals, it stands to reason that any system will not cater for every person, for every individual.So… if you are someone who is more sensitive or emotional or who thinks differently to whatever is the norm for our time you can be prone to feeling that you don’t “fit in”.Here’s the thing, though: we all own the world.It’s as much yours or mine as it is anyone else’s. It’s not the world that we don’t fit in to. It’s the systems and constructs that people accept as the norm that we don’t really fit in to.Ok… So say you “get” all this.You’re smart and you’re living and you’ve observed it. You’ve figured this out. You know who you are. You’ve lived a chunk of your life by now. You’ve had life experiences and adversities that you have lived through and that you have overcome.You have wisdom to share.Yes. Wisdom.You have wisdom to share with people who are a little behind you in terms of experience or on their life path, people who may be a little lost where they are right now and who could use someone reaching a hand out to them.Maybe you have lived through some adversity and overcome it. If so, you are living proof to somebody else that they can too.If you felt lost and found your way through to a place of meaning, you can be a beacon for someone else to do that too.In a world with an abundance of celebrity culture, reality TV and sensationalist media and news-entertainment machines, here’s what you can provide:Simple, honest truth.In the process of standing strong and speaking your truth you can be a powerful example to others.We people learn from each other and it’s our stories that really connect us.Your story, your experience, what you have lived through and overcome is what you can use to teach and help others.Your voice can be a calming one, a reassuring one, a resonant one, an inspiring one, a wise one.Your truth, shared through your voice and your writing, can help those listening to understand their perspectives and empower themselves and help them to feel a whole lot better about themselves, and in their lives, too.Being a person who is “awake” in life and a person who thinks or feels or lives outside the box - and who likely feels more intensely than most - you have a perspective on life that is likely to be:1. different from the norm2. so, so, so important for the kindred spirits out there who feel a little or a lot alone right now.I encourage you to start writing and sharing what is true to you.Start putting a voice to what you are feeling and experiencing. These will be things many are feeling and experiencing, but are not saying.Through your voice, you can be a voice for others. A voice for the voiceless.Here are 5 tips to help you have a clear, strong voice in your writing:#1 Get clear about what you stand for and the message you want to share.#2 Break it down simply in simple language. Make it easy for your reader to read.#3 Less is more. One well written and clearly communicated concept is so much more powerful than overwhelming people. Let them come back for more.#4 Use stories. Stories are personal, bring everything to life and serve as a way to emotionally connect with your audience.#5 Always talk to one person, only one person is reading or listening to you at any time. Writing is so much more potent when you speak to one person.Own who you are and what you stand for. As one of my favorite sayings goes:“Be yourself. People don’t have to like you, but you don’t have to care.”So let me ask you… what do you feel is your message to share? What would you like to say? Who would you love to help?Thank you for being here and for reading.I wish you, as always, lots of happy writing!Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #6 - Be The Anomaly (In Your Writing And Life) #15 - 5 Secrets To Attention Grabbing Stories #26 - Sensitive And Creative? STOP Blocking Yourself!*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “How To Not Care What People Think Of You Or Your Work”You do not have control over how what you create and share is received in the world.I know it’s not nice to hear. So many of us – me included - are scared to share fully and openly because we don’t want to be criticized or laughed at or judged.But acknowledging this lack of control over how people may respond to you is freeing because it allows you, it allows us, to get clear about what really matters and root into that first.What am I talking about?Well, in a previous episode, I wrote about how to overcome that feeling of being clichéd - just another person posting more random stuff on the internet about their life.I said: Focus on the picture not the frame.Social media - or a blog post or a video or whatever the platform or medium may be - is the frame (the container) for what you are sharing.The important part is the picture - your message or whatever you feel called to do in the world and communicate through your art or your music or your writing or your business or your very being.Actually, it’s even less about what you even say or post and more about the feeling and intention behind what you share. It’s your energy. It’s the charge.Before you dismiss that, consider this:As human beings by our very nature we are drawn to expansion, to opening up, to growing and learning. We can feel the energy behind things, whether we realize it or not.And we need the energetic force of love, which is the premium creative, driving force in the world – the force that makes babies and that makes trees and grass grow and that keeps the earth revolving around the sun. That force. We need more love driven stuff in the world!That is the force that you want to anchor what you are creating – and creation is just life force working through us.So when you love what you do and you share with a pure and passionate intention you add to this melting pot of life and you put a strong and beautiful energy into the world.Ok… back to this: You do not have control over how what you put out is received.What you write may be just what a person needs to hear in order to shake them up. Great! They may thank and applaud you.However, alternatively, that may trigger them to respond defensively to you or attack you with harsh words. You may be criticized.This is why it’s important to be honestly rooted in your truth, to really be lined up with what you are sharing, to be clear about why you want to share your message.Being grounded like this means you can really stand behind your message regardless of how it is received.Life is not linear.You may help someone with your words or with what you put out into the world and you may never knowthat you helped them. You may never know the impact you made.However, just because you can’t see the impact your work has made does not make that impact any less important or real.As Max Ehrmann, writes in his poem “Desiderata”:“… whether or not it is clear to you,no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”Quality Not QuantityIt’s so easy to get caught up in the idea of “more” or the business of comparison.You know the way: “How many likes did that post get? My last one got more” or “Why didn’t anybody share my video?”You might find yourself comparing yourself to a similar writer or artist or entrepreneur who appears to be more successful or who has a bigger audience or more money.Look, it’s human and I’ve done it too, but it’s pretty unconstructive.This is where the concept of focusing on the picture not the frame brings a much more meaningful approach.My wonderful friend, Amy Leo shared some words about this in a video she made and I’m going to quote her because her words are so eloquent and beautiful.“The ego has no place in music creation [or writing] or the relationships we have with one another.The impact I make is not about the quantity of people I reach, but the quality, the depth, with which I reach and connect with other people and affect change in their lives.”Beautiful.Practice Playing BiggerBy “practice playing bigger” what I mean is this: When you are grounded in your truth and focused on the picture not the frame, practice playing bigger than you are comfortable with.Own how perfect you are, with this voice and this message in this time and this space. Stand in this truth and share.In doing this you become an example to other people - me included. The more you stand in your own truth and play big the more other people can feel inspired to do the same too, especially people with kindness and creativity and uniqueness and good intention.Know that with practice anything gets easier! Just stay rooted in the truth of what you believe and in your intention. Stay in the love of what you are doing, for how you want to help, for yourself, for your courage.As the saying goes:“Be yourself. People don’t have to like you, but you don’t have to care.”Share GenerouslyBe a helper. How can you give? How can you share? How can you connect? How can you help?I promise you that whatever you are offering in the world there is somebody looking for exactly that!When you give but really you are giving conditionally, trying to get a result, this makes for a needy energy. People pull away from this.When you give generously and openly, with kindness and sharing, that’s completely different. You must have healthy boundaries – please, do – but within them share openly.This demonstrates a feeling of abundance and trust. People naturally want to be around this.You may have heard the quote by Greek philosopher, Aristotle, that “Nature abhors a vacuum.” What does that mean?Well, in a nutshell, it means that according empty or unfilled spaces are unnatural. The Universe seeks to fill a void.Then there’s Newton’s Third Law is: “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. If you give generously, you will receive.Life will not be manipulated, so you may receive in ways that you do not expect, but you will receive.Author, Neale Donald Walsch, says:“Be the source. Whatever you want to experience in yourself, be the source of it in the lives of others.”More For You!When you take this approach in life – of focusing on the picture not the frame – you benefit in so many ways.You root into how meaningful what you are creating is for you. That brings clarity and calm. You share truthfully, allowing others their opinion, but not being dependent on their approval, because you have your own approval.You are focused on how you can share, how you can help – and that always feels good. You give generously and openly, with healthy boundaries, and from a space of abundance and trust.Try it out as an experiment and see how it goes!And please do let me know how you get on!Thank you for being here and for reading and, as always, I wish you lots of happy writing!Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #11 - Social Media: A Guide for Introverts & Sensitive Writers #14 - Make A Real Difference With Your Writing #26 - Sensitive And Creative? STOP Blocking Yourself!*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “Why The Rules Of Good Manners Don’t Apply to Writers”.As a kid it seems that there are lots of rules to learn. Adults are big on rules when you’re a child, aren’t they?Some rules I can get behind:Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself.Listen when people are speaking to you.Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’Close your mouth when you’re eating.Don’t steal.And so on...Lately, though, it's been occurring to me that some of the lessons we are taught as life guidance make for really bad advice for a writer!Rules like:Mind your own businessDon’t be noseyDon’t bragTell the truthDon't be dramatic I know… curious list, right? Shouldn’t writers tell the truth, for starts? We'll get to that...So, I would like to take these rules of etiquette and, just for fun, tweak them to be more appropriate for writers.That’s what I’m going to do in this blog!Now, I know it makes for polite and mannerly society to follow certain rules and, believe me, I am all for manners, but I'm pretty sure that politeness and manners are not exactly what writing should be about.Writing to me is about truth - the truth of what the writer - author, songwriter, poet, content writer - is feeling in that moment and wants to express and communicate. Part of the potency in this can come in bluntness and clear communication.By bluntness I mean speaking the bald and honest truth of how we feel.In a world where there is a tendency towards people being really easily offended it feels to me that this honesty is precious and important.Let me be clear. I’m all for respect. it's important to have respect for other people but it's also important that there is a space for people to speak their truth in a way that opens up the possibility for discussion and debate.Being controversial just for the sake of it just seems juvenile or silly. Or is it? Is there a place for this?Trying to offend isn’t very respectful at all, but doesn’t the person who gets offended have the choice to shift their attention? To change channel, metaphorically or physically?Don’t we each have a different definition of what communicating clearly and honestly are anyway?All these questions in themselves show one thing: it all comes down to perspective.So with that in mind, what are some traditional rules of etiquette that can be revised - respectfully and with fun - for a writer?#1 Mind your own businessThis is terrible advice for a writer!As a writer your inspiration, the spark for everything you are doing is in life all around you and life within you. It's important for your senses to be alert to your feelings and to life as it is happening for you. Yes, it's important to be informed and to be broadly informed about what you are writing about. It’s also important to question and to care. Minding your own business and keeping yourself to yourself is not really what being a writer is about unless you want to exist in a cocoon.There is writing inspiration and gold in every moment and all around.I reckon this rule of etiquette should be revised to: “Mind your own business - and everyone else’s as well!”#2 Don’t be noseyThis kind of follows on from the whole “mind your own business” thing. How much fabulous and important writing in the world was created from people sticking their nose in where it “didn't belong”?Who decides what's appropriate? Who decides where lines get drawn? Who gets to belong where? When do these rules get reviewed and revised?What is nosey and what is healthy curiosity and inquisitiveness?Here’s the key, I reckon: It’s about intention.Is the “nosiness” fueled by an expansive intention or not? Truth and transparency and growth seeking? Or not?I reckon this rule of etiquette should be revised to: “Be nosey - but while you're at it be well intentioned and fair.”#3 Don’t bragOh dear.This is a curse!Ok… qualification: There is bragging and there is healthy acknowledgement of our abilities and strengths. There is choosing to focus more on expansion and what’s wonderful in the world or there is blabbing on about how great you are all the time (which is really just an indication of insecurity… think about it…)How much has playing small and holding back from talking about genuine strengths served anyone? Not a lot, I’m thinking.Plus, as a writer, it’s important to communicate your message and your voice and your love and passion for what you do with the world - not least of all so you can help people.So… I reckon this rule of etiquette should be revised to “Brag - share far, wide and very loudly about what you are good at and what you love with a view to helping and entertaining everyone you can in the process.”#4 Tell the truthYeah I know. I just said that writing is all about truth. I stand by that. However, I got awesome advice from a writing teacher one time: Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.What did he mean?I think it’s like a line from the book I read last week (“Essentialism” by Greg McKeown) “Listen for the signal in the noise”.Don’t let all the detail distract from the essence and truth of the story. Maybe all the fluff isn’t needed.I reckon this rule of etiquette should be revised to “Tell the truth. The core truth”.#5 Don't be dramaticThere's a place for drama. Ideally, drama is for novels. Drama is for action movies. Drama is not so fun in relationships (... and"pressure is for tyres", as my sister says!)Sometimes when you’re writing - in the spirit of “Tell the truth. The core truth” - a bit of drama is the perfect way to reinforce that core truth.Probably sparingly is best, though!! Drama is wearing otherwise.A little bit of craziness goes a long way in writing. It opens up so many exciting avenues to explore. Perspectives, fun.In a great quote by who-knows-who: “In the first act you get your character up a tree, in the second act you throw rocks at him and in the third act you get him down from the tree.”Lots of appropriately placed and fun drama!How might this apply to something you are writing?I reckon this rule of etiquette should be revised to “Be dramatic. When it makes sense to be”.So there you go!#1 Mind your own business - and everyone elses as well!#2 Be nosey - but while you're at it be well intentioned and fair#3 Brag - share far, wide and very loudly about what you are good at and what you love with a view to helping and entertaining everyone you can in the process.”#4 Tell the truth. The core truth.#5 Be dramatic. When it makes sense to be.How lucky are we that we get to be writers?!It’s a permission slip to break all the rules of manners and etiquette as a writer! Probably just as a writer, though!Agree? Disagree? Anything I am missing? I’d love to hear what you think!!Happy writing!Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #6 - Be The Anomaly (In Your Writing And Life) #13 - How To Not Care What People Think About You (Or Your Work) #17 - A Superhero Writing Exercise*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “Social Media - A Guide For Introverts & Sensitive Writers”.I have a complicated relationship with social media. I find it a bit weird.I love the possibility of connection in all sorts of ways. I love the ease and variety of information and how it's up-to-the-minute.On the flip side, I find the “highlight reel” of multiple dinners, family pictures, dogs, cool locations, gyms etc. kind of discomforting in some way. It’s like an ongoing advertisement for a happy life, but you know you are only seeing the glossy part.So there's all that... and then, at the moment I’m in the process of writing a “Create Your Author Platform” PDF for you - I’ll tell you more about that when it’s done - and social media is coming up as, obviously, an important part of this.Truthfully, social media is a fundamental part of creating an Author platform. If you want to connect with your audience and share your message, it makes sense to be where your audience is and also to communicate in a way they can connect with.Yet, many authors I work with really struggle with this and with being visible.Almost all authors I have worked with would identify themselves as sensitive souls, people who feel life deeply, are alert to the intricacies of life and situations, who have a strong intuition and who can pick up on the feelings – including unspoken feelings – of others.Most authors I have worked with identify themselves as introverts and as private people.So there’s a conflict – what do you do when you feel you have a message to share and it’s important to you to create and to express yourself, yet publicizing yourself feels jarring and you resist it?(Honestly, even though it’s important for what I do I resist it!)In this blog, I’m going to go through some of the resistances I feel and that writers I work with feel in relation to social media.I’m going to identify possible reframes and new approaches and I hope to really help you find a way to feel at ease with promoting yourself and your work and connecting with your audience on social media in a way that really supports you.This may be one of the important blogs you have ever read!!! (*I'm winking at ya*)Before we begin, I want to say that I'm speaking specifically about using social media as a medium for getting your book or your message out into the world. Personal stuff, you're on your own!! But for your writing... I've got you covered!Let's begin!Problem thought #1: “I feel like a cliché.”Solution reframe: With so many similar social media posts and people advertising what they are doing, how do you stand out and get an actual message across without just adding “more of the same”?The key is to focus on the picture not the frame. Social media is the frame (the container) for what you are sharing. The important part is the picture (your message or whatever you feel called to do in the world.)Can you identify why you feel called to share your message? Probably because you know you can help people, right? Or because you know what you have to share has value.Focus on these, more substantial-feeling, parts - what you want to share and why you want to share it. Then you can do what you feel inspired to do from that place. Maybe it’s posting a picture of your writing space or a video sharing what you are feeling on a given day.People can feel the difference in intention and when your intention is grounded and pure, you can create posts that feel well-intentioned and positively potent.So what would feel good to share? What would feel like a natural, easy sharing of your world? Maybe a picture of a few lines of your writing? Or a video sharing what inspired you today?Take a few moments of quiet (“a piece of quiet”, as my nephew says!), listen to your inner guidance and post from there.Problem thought #2: “I feel fake and insincere.”Solution reframe: People usually say this to me when they are trying to put across an image that is not really aligned with how they truly feel.Often this happens when they don’t feel they can be honest about their true circumstances and feel a pressure (often self-imposed) to post “highlight reel” style pictures, even though they feel “off” about it.Here’s where social media is great for creating an author platform. Remember that you are posting in support of your work and your creativity, so you can share in relation to this. You don’t need to try to create a persona that doesn't fit or share anything too personal if you don’t want to.We all have multifaceted lives and you have the right to keep whatever parts of your life private that you want to.You can share freely and fully in areas that feel good to you and that are going to support your work – and definitely do this in an authentic and real way – but you can keep other areas of your life private and to yourself.Problem thought #3: “I feel conflicted.”Solution reframe: There’s been a marketing trend over the past few years where people have shared their stories of adversity and pain as a way to connect with kindred spirits in their audience.Now, for people who are healthy and genuinely sharing this is valid and fine. It also works! We do connect emotionally with each other. When you want to help people and you show them that you understand where they are and that you can help them and they believe you, they will likely buy. This is all right and good. Once it’s authentic.However, it happens that this kind of sharing can be done as a kind of marketing strategy, and the prevalence of this kind of approach has made it seem like it’s the “norm”, like this is what you do when you are marketing yourself.Again, know this: you don’t have to share anything you don’t want to and you don’t have to share anything you do want to until you are good and ready.If you feel ready to share your truth, whatever this is, own it and own your experience and your voice and your ability to help and share as loud as you want to.The only thing that matters here is alignment. What feels ok for you to share? Are you sure? In what way and on what platform? Make conscious, healthy choices from a strong place and then have your own back all the way.Clarity is power and clarity of purpose and intent removes feelings of confliction.Problem thought #4: “I feel insecure.”Solution reframe: I know this one well.Imposter syndrome / "Who am I to...?" etc.It’s kind of safe for me to share about writing because I am confident in it and I know how well I can help people.However, at the moment I am learning guitar and writing new music and writing new songs and I have been stopping myself from sharing them by not feeling like I am “good enough” yet and basically by being scared.When I stop to do a reframe there two things I know to be true and to be good reasons why I need to get over myself - and these will also apply for you!The first reason comes in the form of a few lines from the poem “Desiderata” by Max Ehrmann:“You are a child of the universe,no less than the trees and the stars;you have a right to be here.”How beautiful is that? Isn't it true? Doesn't it apply to us all?The second reason is that people like real. We learn from each other, whether we realize it or not. Real - with all it’s messiness and insecurity and contradiction - makes us relatable.Plus, when we conquer our own fears, even in a small way, we become an example to others that they can do the same.Problem reason #5: “I am inconsistent.”Solution reframe: “How do people bother with this stuff every day?” “Is nothing private?” says – ok I’ll admit it, says me!Here’s the thing, though - and yes, I'll say it again:Social media is a valuable tool for you to share your message with the people you want to connect with.It helps support your work in the world and it helps support the people who will benefit from your work - so it is worth a bit of your time. If you don’t want to do it, it’s worth delegating it.It only takes me an hour a week to select and schedule posts for each day for a whole week.You can choose causes you want to promote and support that line up with what you do. You can share some of your favorite writings and quotes from people you most admire. You can share pictures of your favorite words!! You can rock your own version of social media whatever way you want.I’d encourage you to choose the platform you like best and the one that your audience is most active on and build a presence on it – one that supports your work and your message and your voice. It’s worth it.A social media presence is also a key element that is needed whether you choose self publishing or traditional publishing.I’ll leave you with this: you can mold your social media presence to suit you, not the other way around. You can limit your time on it, you can decide what you share and what you don’t and you can do all this and still have it truly support you in your work and your writing – and support your audience too.Connection is what it is all about. Doesn't that sound good?I hope this has been really helpful for you!Happy writing!AoifexoP.S. My Message Is Love is on social media!!Come connect with me! I'm on FACEBOOK and INSTAGRAMSee you over there! ❤︎********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #10 - Self Publishing vs Traditional Publishing. Your Questions Answered! #13 - How To Not Care What People Think About You (Or Your Work) #22 - How To Build An Audience For Your Book (Even If You Haven't Written It Yet!)*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “Self-Publishing vs Traditional Publishing. Your Questions Answered!”“Self publishing or traditional publishing? What’s the difference? How do I decide which is best for me?”As a book editor and book coach, I get asked these questions again and again – and with good reason! I mean, if you’re going to do the work of writing a book (and you definitely should!) you want to find the best way to get it out into the world, right?According to a survey by The New York Times, 81% of Americans feel they have a book in them. Most have not and will never write one.When you are writing a book it makes sense to publish in the way that is best for you.So which to choose?Traditional publishing is the dream for many, particularly with one of the “Big Five” publishing houses (Penguin Random House, Simon & Schuster, HarperCollins, Macmillan and Hachette). Yet, A startling 95 percent of books submitted to publishers are rejected.Many changes have taken place in the publishing world in the last few years make self-publishing a completely viable and attractive option, with self-published books representing 42% of Amazon sales.Today I’m going to give you a review of self publishing and traditional publishing. I’ll explain the difference between the two and help you get clearer about which is best for you.Ok... Let’s get started!About Self PublishingThe term “self publishing” is pretty self explanatory - you publish your book yourself.This literally means that you do (or are in charge of doing) all the work - the writing, the editing, the cover design, the organization of the launch, the promotion and all sales related necessities (getting set up on Amazon or Kindle or CreateSpace or wherever else).The flip side/bonus to that is the control. You have complete control over your edit, your cover design, your launch, your promotion and everything to do with marketing and selling your book.You carry the full cost of publishing your book, but you get a greater percentage of sales revenue.The turnaround time is in your hands and publishing can be so much quicker than with a traditionally published book.When you are ready to publish, you upload your files to your platform of choice and your book will be available to buy within a few hours or a few days (and you are then set to make sales and get paid get paid!)With self-publishing you are literally your own publisher.If you want to self publish but have the option for your audience to buy hard copies of your book you can! There are multiple Print On Demand (POD) options available to you. Some of these also specialize in photography-dense books in the event that you are creating a recipe books, travel book, photography book or similar.Now, let’s take a look at Traditional Publishing:About Traditional PublishingTraditional publishing happens when you work with a publisher and they publish your book for you.In a traditional publishing deal publishing house acquires the rights to your book they issues you with an advance payment (usually paid in three stages)Your publisher will work with you, usually providing you with a professional editor, with cover art and design and they will take care of the necessities and business-orientated details of your book creation (printing, stocking etc.)A publisher will likely expect you to be actively involved in the marketing of your book on social media and may or may not help you in the organization of a promotional book tour.In order to get a traditional publishing deal you will almost certainly need a literary agent (or book agent).How to go about getting an agent and what will they expect you to provide are beyond the scope of this episode, but it is something I go into in the programs I offer. In fact, I created a whole "Self Publishing vs Traditional Publishing" eBook as part of these programs. You can find out more about how to work with me HERE.Getting PublishedWhen you’ve made it the stage of having a completed manuscript and a literary agent behind you it is time to approach publishers.Know that publishing houses come in different sizes - small presses, mid-size to large and “the big five”. According to BookDepot.com, approximately 60% of all English-language books are produced through the “Big Five” publishing houses.Your agent will identify potential publishers for your book and then submits a query letter to multiple publishing houses and you wait for a response.Many publishing houses are inundated with manuscripts so it can be months upon months before your manuscript is even seen and you get a response, presuming you do.When you find a publishing house that wants to move forward with publishing your book, this is when you connect up and ultimately they buy your rights and make a payment to you (a royalty advance) and you get to work.What You Can Expect From A Publishing DealA publishing house will invest time, expertise and money in their authors.Depending on the particular circumstance this will extend to editing costs, design costs, publishing and marketing costs and a professional team to work on each aspect. An author may even receive media training.A huge advantage of having traditional publishing is that key relationships are already in place. Getting your book placed in traditional stores is much easier.Additionally, you get to piggyback on their existing credibility when it comes to approaching media, getting speaking engagements and other situations.On the downside, when they own the rights to your book the publishing house can refuse to publish unless edits they want are made.Generally, a book can take a year or more to actually be published, however, books that are particularly time-sensitive, usually non-fiction ones, may be produced more quickly.You do not have to pay to get a publishing deal, but, obviously, make sure you have a lawyer check your contract before you sign anything.So that’s it in a nutshell!I hope this has been really helpful and that you have a good sense of the differences between self publishing and traditional publishing.Thank you for reading and happy writing!!With love,Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #9 - Your Audience Is Watching! 4 Tips On How To Be Ready…#16 - Book Creation - A Simple Step-By-Step Strategy#22 - How To Build An Audience For Your Book (Even If You Haven't Written It Yet!)*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “Your Audience Is Watching! 4 Tips On How To Be Ready!”Recently I found the cutest little wool shop in a town near where I live. It was really small and a little hidden and not in an obvious location, but it was lovely. I bought four balls of my favourite colour wool to knit a dress from a pattern I found online. (Knitting is so hot right now! Ok, it’s not, but it helps relax my over-creative, bionic brain!)Anyway, over the next two or three weeks I started knitting my dress. Soon enough I realised that I was going to be one ball of wool short.I drove back to the wool shop, but it was closed. It was daytime and midweek, so that seemed unusual, but I thought to myself that unexpected things can happen, including to wool shop owners, so I left and carried on with my day.About a week later I went back to the wool shop. There was a brand new sign, prettily designed and hanging on the door with the opening hours for Summer. I was there within those hours and the shop was still closed. Hmmm… annoying, but only a mere first world problem, so I left and carried on with my day.Another week or so later I went back down to the wool shop, wanting so much to buy my last ball of wool to finish my dress and making sure to arrive within the office hours as marked on the door. Again, the shop was closed.So I went back home and unraveled my knitting completely, thinking that I’ll just use the wool to make something else…What’s my point?You never know when people are watching and paying attention to what you are doing.You never know when your audience is watching - so be ready!If they’re watching and you’re not ready, they will likely just move on.But if they’re watching and you are ready, you have the opportunity to gain a loyal follower or to truly connect with this person through your writing - to inspire them or to help with their healing or to entertain them.One of the key lessons I learned early on as a singer was to sing and play and perform 100% with a full heart and my very best performance possible at EVERY show, whether there were 2 people there or 2,000 people there.For starts, every person matters but also, you never know who is at your show and what connections they may be wanting to make with and for you - if they are impressed.Let's relate all this back to writing:You never know when someone is reading what you are writing or checking out you or your work online.You may never know - but that doesn’t mean it’s not happening - and you don’t know what you could be missing out on by not being prepared. EVEN if you don’t have a finished book yet, EVEN if you are just starting out, EVEN if you have a thriving business and your book is in progress…Here are 4 simple but crucial tips for being ready when your audience is watching (even if you don't feel you're really ready at all!):1. Set yourself up like you mean business.Go online and buy your .com for your author website - this could be yourname.com or it could be yournameauthor.com or something along those lines that feels right to you (obviously replacing yourname in these examples with your actual name). If you have a definite book title, buy that .com too.Set up a simple website - even a one page website - that displays your name, states that you are a writer, maybe includes a picture and be sure you have a way to collect email addresses too.You can leave your site like this as long as you need to, but at least when people are looking for you they find you, everything looks quality and professional (giving the impression that you take what you are doing seriously) and they can sign up for your mailing list or share their email address for when you have a mailing list.Even if you have no intention of setting up your author site right now, buy your .com anyway and when you are going to set up your author site, you have the domain you want/need in place.Do the same with the matching social media sites.2. Take action like you mean business!Own your worth! Value what you have to offer and what you do. Take action on those nudges of inspiration for the things you want to do. Take the first steps.If you want to write, write.If you feel called to share, please share.We learn from each other in life and you do not know the impact your words and writing may have on someone who needs to read them.You want to write your book?Buy a notebook specifically for ideas in relation to your book, bring it everywhere with you and use it!You know those moments when you are waiting in line somewhere, bored out of your mind? Take out your notebook and read the ideas you have jotted in so far. You never know how one idea can trigger another.A decision is the beginning of change and momentum, but it needs to be followed up by action. Do not underestimate the value of small actions. One small action followed by another small action and ongoing in this way will lead to a very big and tangible compound effect.Big change starts with little change.As one of my very favourite sayings, by Lao Tzu, says: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”3. Share like you are really ready to share!Be brave!The creative process is completed when you share your work with the world.If sharing in a very big and loud fashion feels too much, think about what you would feel comfortable doing to start your sharing process going.How can you share?Could you start a blog?Too much?How about starting to share segments of your writing on your social media?Then for a next step you can make a habit of this.As you gain confidence and momentum you could create your website and put your writing online there.You could create an instagram page and share pieces of your writing.You can write your words out on a piece of paper, take a photograph of them and post them to that instagram page..There are soooo many ways you could start to share. Share a little and a little more and then share freely and build up your ease with sharing.Remember what Andy Warhol said (another one of my very favourite quotes): “Don't think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it's good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.”4. Get support and make it funI remember a girl at an event I was at one time saying “When you’re in a community the work is not so bad, because people help you.”I love this idea!So how could you create or join a community to get the additional support you need and to have a bit of fun with your writing.For example:You could start or join a writing group - online or in person.You could find an accountability partner - online or in person. (Here's a blog about how to do just that!)You could enter writing competitions - alone or with your group.What else can you think of?You get the idea!What I really want you to get from this blog is:Own your worth. Do what you love. Start to share with the world.Get ready for when people are watching and reading. You never know how they can be helped through your work and you never know what amazing connections you can make.Welcome the watching! We’re all here to help each other in life after all and writing is such a beautiful way to do that!How lucky are we that we get to be writers?!With love,Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #11 - Social Media: A Guide for Introverts & Sensitive Writers#22 - How To Build An Audience For Your Book (Even If You Haven't Written It Yet!)#24 - The Psychology of Social Media Content For Your Book, Business or Brand*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “Writing A Book Is Easier Than You Think.”In last week’s episode (#7) I gave you 7 Reasons To Write A Book and I promised you that this week I would tell you why writing a book is easier than you think!So here we go!As you know there are countless ways that writing a book can benefit your audience, your business or creative project, your brand and you personally - from credibility to publicity and visibility, new career opportunities to being an opportunity to generate money and more!So what’s holding you back from starting?Maybe you’re thinking “I wouldn’t know where to start” or “who’d want to read what I have to say” or “I don’t have the time to write a book” or “but I’ve never written a book before - I don’t know if I could do it”.Well, I am going to go through each of these resistances/concerns/reasons/excuses and show you why writing a book is so much easier than you think!“I wouldn’t know where to start”Here’s where you start - with decide to start. Making a decision is the start of momentum.First you decide you are going to write and then you decide what you want to write about - and I know you probably have a good idea of this already. Then you start making notes about all the ideas you have in relation to writing your book.Make note of every idea and thought that you have and get it all down on paper or in a file or in Evernote or whatever works for you.You have all the knowledge to write your book within you. Know that your brain is already pregnant with ideas for your book. Just let them flow. Forget about any organisation right now just get all your ideas and notes and thoughts and questions out.Believe me that even in this process clarity will come because clarity comes in the process of doing, not before.You just need to begin. That’s where you start.“Who’d want to read what I have to say?”Feel into your topic and how you help people - through your business or your creative project or your brand. Focus on your ability and your gifts and your talents and remember what people have said to you when you helped them.Think of how appreciative your audience or clients and customers or friends are when you share your strengths and talents with them and you help them through what you do - and think about how this change within them ripples out into the world.This transformation you help people create is invaluable. This is important and a gift in the world. These are the people you can help.These - and others like them - are the people who will want to read what you have to say.(Psst! Share Your Stories!)Don’t underestimate the power of your stories when you want to connect with your readers.Your stories - especially those of transformation - really bring home to to your reader that if you can do it maybe they can too.Make note of the stories you have to share about your life - and the points they illustrate - to help make it even easier for your audience and your readers to relate to you.Your transparency and honesty and willingness to show vulnerability here can really help others who are currently in that place of struggle that you may once have been.Stand behind the value of what you have to offer and know that your audience is there waiting to be reached and helped.“I don’t have the time to write a book”Well, luckily, writing a book doesn’t come with a set of working hours attached!You can set regular blocks of time aside to write if that suits you or you can write in short periods over a long period of time if that works better.Let me ask you, how are you spending your time at the moment? Do you have any days where you watch a less-than-stellar TV show or movie? Or when you spend longer than you would like to browsing social media?This is time you could be writing - and know what that takes? Creating the habit. It’s that simple!Create the habit of writing often or of writing out a few paragraphs mapping out ideas as you have them. You will not believe how quickly this adds up over a short amount of time.You can write in the mornings, in the evenings, on your lunch breaks, every afternoon, all weekends - whatever suits you. As little or as much as works.That time is going to pass by anyway! Start creating your writing habit now and before you know it you will have written a good chunk or the full chunk of the first draft of your book.“I’ve never written a book before - I don’t know if I could do it”.After you’ve taken the steps to write down your ideas and your stories and get clear, the next step a matter of organising your ideas into chapters and an order and finding your voice in your writing.This is where I come in - and I can help in many ways.You can sign up for my free writing course “How to Write Your Non-Fiction Book”.This mini course walks you through the practical steps to get your book done - including how to choose your topic and chapters, how to outline chapter content, the A+B formula for picking an epic book title and all the additional components to have in place when writing your book.If you are absolutely, positively ready to write your book and are interested in working with me as your book coach, click HERE to find out more!What I’m saying is you don’t have to do this alone. You can if you want, but if you want my support I am here for you!So you see - writing a book is easier than you think!Why not make that beautiful, important and fun first step today?!Happy writing!With love,Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #3 - 5 Ways To End Writer's Block (Without Bullying Yourself) #7 - 7 Reasons To Write A Book#13 - How To Not Care What People Think About You (Or Your Work)*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “7 Reasons To Write Your Book!”Let me guess… Do people keep saying to you “You should write a book!" Guess what? They’re right!Or maybe now and again the thought pops into your head: “One of these days I should write a book.” (Guess what? You’re right too!)There are countless ways that writing a book can benefit your audience, your business or creative project, your brand - but did you know that writing a book can benefit you personally? It's true. This is because writing a book is a cathartic and life-changing experience.The time is NOW!Here are 7 awesome reasons to write your book!1. Writing a book means you get to position yourself as the expert you already are.So… you already have a deep love and passion for your work and for the message you have to share with the world. You know your subject inside out and you have so much of value to share with the world.In writing a book you position yourself assertively as an expert in your field.You can decide what it is you want to stand for - your unique take on your subject, your perspective, your slant. You claim your expertness with your authorship.An expert is someone who knows a lot about their topic - and you do. To be an expert you just need to be a couple of steps further along the path than the people you help.Becoming an author means asserting your expertness.2. Writing a book gives you instant credibility.Following on from positioning yourself as an expert, writing a book cements this and gives you credibility with others.You see it all the time when people are interviewed on TV or wherever else “We welcome X, expert in Y and author of the book Z”. You get the idea.This connection between book writing and credibility is in place for hundreds (if not thousands of years). It’s a really valuable asset to leverage in order to gain further publicity, opportunities and grow your business, brand or creative project.3. Writing a book gives you visibility.Writing a book gives you the opportunity to be so much more visible with your message and your work.It opens up the possibility for connections and collaborations with people who are more established in your area.It offers you the possibility to be featured on all kinds of media - print, radio, tv and online.It offers you the possibility of promotional book tours.Writing a book gives increased exposure to your business, brand or creative project and, not least of all, it gives you interesting and attention grabbing content potential for your social media.4. Writing a book opens up new career opportunities.In addition to book tours and the opportunity to do courses and masterclasses based on your book subject, a book gives you a springboard to create new career opportunities.Being an author opens you up to being a featured expert in media - or a guest post contributor.Of course a book can also lead to speaking engagements and a whole new career or branch of your career.5. Writing a book is a revenue stream.A book is a new revenue stream for you, your brand or your business - and even better, it’s a passive income stream. When the book is written and out in the world it’s an ongoing source of potential revenue for you through royalty income. How cool is that?Not to mention all the spin off revenue opportunities generated by your book writing!6. Writing a book gives you the opportunity to help more people.When you share your message in a bigger way and you reach a wider audience you obviously get the chance to reach people you would not have reached without writing your book.Having a book gives your existing audience another way to sample your work and voice and opens you up to a new audience you may not have connected with otherwise.Think of all the people who can be impacted and helped through your book!7. Writing a book is a gift to yourself.It’s true.Through writing a book and stepping up to share your message and your work in this bigger way, you grow as a person. Writing a book is a transformational process and I say this having worked with many, many people on their book writing.Writing a book gives you an even deeper sense of purpose, extra healthy pride in yourself and in what you do, great confidence in yourself as you step up to play bigger, great pleasure in being able to contribute in a bigger way and a fabulous sense of accomplishment overall.See?It’s win-win-win-win-win!And if that all wasn’t enough - standby for the next episode when I am going to be telling you why writing a book is easier than you think.With love,Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #3 - 5 Ways To End Writer's Block (Without Bullying Yourself)#8 - Writing A Book Is Easier Than You Think!#16 - Book Creation - A Simple Step-By-Step Strategy*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “Be The Anomaly In Your Writing And Life”.At different times in life I’ve had a feeling of being on the outside, of not fitting in. There's the superficial - I hated school when other kids seemed to love it, I don't read magazines or watch reality TV or other things that seem like the "norm" in life.But it's deeper than superficial. It's more about the times when I was in a bad place but pretended to those around me I wasn't. That way I could carry on going to school or work or band practice without causing any upset.Or about when I have felt deeply and not understood how others couldn't. I was at a horse racing event one time. A horse fell and had to be put down and I was completely upset, yet the event just carried on... everybody cheering.I can't even articulate it properly... maybe it's too much questioning and introspection, but sometimes I just feel far outside the norm.You Are Never AloneIt’s funny, though. Whenever I admit, out loud, to that feeling of being on the outside, there is always somebody who confesses to me that they feel the same.It got me thinking about how so much of what we accept as the norm in life is actually just a man-made construct. From fundamental structures like the calendar or the time to the whole workday/"9 - 5” (or whatever the hours actually are now), the rules of the road, the law and so on. You get the idea.All sorts of things that we consider norms in life are man-made constructs.Throw in societal norms about partnership and marriage or about what is or isn’t age appropriate or gender appropriate.Reinforce all of this with advertising and media and the unspoken but ever present pressure to conform to various norms.Honestly, it’s more confusing to me that people can actually easily fit into all these systems and rules than not. It’s like: “How can you not feel like you don’t fit?!”A Message To All CreativesFor the more creatively oriented of us - truthfully all people are creative, some of us just more so - for those of us who are inspired by adventure or new ideas or by challenges or by challenging ourselves or by growth, it make senses to feel that sometimes we don’t easily fit into the world we live in.Here’s the thing, though. It’s not the world itself we don’t fit into, it’s the arbitrary constructs and systems we don’t fit easily into.For so long I felt like “the anomaly” and used that as a way to beat myself up. I beat myself up because not only because I felt it was wrong of me to not want what I felt I was supposed to want but also because I’m white, I’m straight, I’m healthy, I was born in a first world country, I’m lucky to be brought up in a family that loves me and to have been educated. Aren’t I the type of person who is supposed to fit easily in the world? Aren’t I the type of citizen these rules are made to support?I get it. Rules and systems are the best way to manage a large number of people. But they don’t allow for the fact that each of us IS a very unique snowflake. Rules and systems may support the running of the world and the replenishment of the workforce, the paying of bills and the day-to-day living of life.But what about honouring the unique and individual humans we are. What would best support that?Answer: Us!So… “The Anomaly” PartI say claim "The Anomaly"! BE the anomaly!I claim this now! It makes me smile. I think “Yep. I’m the anomaly! Normal rules don’t apply to me. I make my own decisions about life. What’s next?”If the word “anomaly” feels kind of critical try “unconventional” or “unorthodox”The world is our world. All of us. It’s what we define it to be.This doesn’t mean going out any breaking laws, it just means learning to live life in a way that feels true and free and enriching not restricting.And it’s not just so you feel better… it’s so you CAN expand and grow and contribute in a way that only you can do, that only I can do.As George Bernard Shaw says: “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”What has this got to do with writing?3 things:#1From my own experience, if I am thinking or feeling something, but not saying it out loud, when I do say it out loud, I find that other people have been thinking and feeling the same things as well.Think about this in relation to your audience…When you speak with people, what are saying that you can reinforce and reiterate. Sometimes we only really hear what we are saying when we hear our words said back to us.What are they NOT saying, but you can pick up from their emotions and energy? What have they been unable to articulate for themselves?Be a voice for them in your writing.“As a writer you try to listen to what others aren’t saying and write about the silence.” NR Hart#2Go more deeply into your own life and probe yourself about your thoughts and feelings and especially about your beliefs. You’ll know the strongest ones you hold to because you’ll want to fight for them. You’ll want to reinforce why you believe what you believe. You’ll feel resistance when challenged. Resistance is a beautiful information filled blessing-in-disguise.Go past the superficial. Get underneath your feelings to identify your reason, the cause. Write about this.Underlying motivations are often the places we are living from but don’t consciously identify.#3Claim being the anomaly or being unconventional or being unorthodox or whatever else you choose as a positive and life affirming declaration! See how that feels…Shake off what doesn’t apply to you and lean into what feels good, to how to can feel freer, happier, more expressed (without hurting anyone else, obviously!)Remember: not feeling like you fit in the world just means that you don’t easily fit with the constructs that man has accepted as the norm.Gradually, you can find your way to being more loudly expressed and you can play bigger if you want to - because the world needs all our voices. We all belong here!And please share your thoughts with me in the comments. I would love to hear what you think.With love,Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #2 - Writers Write - How To Find Your Reliable Creative Flow #13 - How To Not Care What People Think About You (Or Your Work) #14 - Make A Real Difference With Your Writing*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called “Listen to this before you say, ‘writing is hard’”.You know how it is in our culture... Being "busy" is like a badge of honour. Struggle is like a badge of honour. The “hard earned” type thinking: "You have to work hard to make money. Nothing good comes easy" (Yada, yada...)Well, I believe these to be thoroughly flawed concepts - more like brain training for burn out or a tough life!!Don't get me wrong - work is great. Struggle? Definitely not.Now, there are writers - including writers I love - who talk about writing as something that is hard and a struggle. Ongoing and forever. Period.Ugh.Writing does not have to be a struggle.Writing in itself is not a struggle or hard. It’s a writer’s attitude to writing that makes it so (or not)!And when it comes to writing, the struggle idea is really about something else entirely, because creativity is all about flow.Writing – even about difficult things – can flow.The emotions involved may be intense. You may feel a lot when you are writing, but that can lead to a deep release or healing, not just a beautiful piece of writing. Writing can feel freeing. Writing about difficult things need not feel like a struggle.It’s just a matter of side-stepping drama and instead choosing simple, powerful feeling and truth. Writing simple, powerful feeling and raw truth is so powerful. Drama belongs in novels.Not sure if you believe me?Let’s pull back here…let's talk about life...Life is always going to have ups and downs. It’s going to have times that feel fun and easy and it’s going to have times that feel, very much not so fun and easy. Times of upset or hurt or pain or sadness.Here’s one thing that makes life much harder, though: fighting against it. You (and I) fight against life by resisting how it is showing up for you in the present moment or by trying to rush through or deny the feelings you are having in the present moment.Learning to be present and make conscious choices from that place and learning to roll with the punches - to feel feelings and then let them pass - means that although life can still hurt sometimes, it loses a lot of the struggle part.When you are able to practice living more in the moment - allowing yourself the permission to really feel what you feel as you feel it and let it these feelings pass in their natural time, it makes for life being more of an experience and a process than it is a struggle.However…If you put all our energy and attention into things feeling bad and complaining about them and resisting them … they’re going to feel a LOT harder and more struggle-full.There may be elements of life that feel hard, some things to figure out, but to declare that all of life is hard and a struggle is, at least, inaccurate.It’s like Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet: “...there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”Back to writing:I love writing.I write when I’m feeling angry or upset or tired or excited or blissful or sad or whatever other emotion.When I’m working on a song or a project, usually my routine is to do the prep work, create the space and time and the creativity then seems to reliably and naturally flow.Part of the reason it flows so easily is because I have practiced this process, because I make the space for creativity to flow (I do any study or research I need to, I make sure I have an environment that supports creativity, I make sure I feel good in myself) and generally it just works.Occasionally, it takes longer to write a song or a piece of writing. It doesn’t flow as easily.Does that mean it’s HARD?Nope. It’s just that my writing is not flowing to my dictates or at my will. These are the times to breathe and be grounded and feel into where the writing wants to go.There are times when I will need to be patient and follow my intuition, be alert to my inner guidance to find the flow. There are times when that particular moment is probably not the best time to write. Or maybe it's not the best time for that project.Does that make it hard?It doesn't feel like that.You see, I know that My creativity is not all about me.What I see is that life is what it is, it happens as it happens and when I have done the necessary prep and show up for my writing present and willing to work, then if the writing doesn’t flow - it doesn’t flow. I just show up again and again and ultimately it does.I don't feel frustration and project these feelings of frustration on to the writing process and blame my writing for them!! (That's a mean thing to do to writing!!) Writing in itself is neutral. It's the labels I give it that will determine how I will feel about it (and what precedents I set for the future).Have I written through tears? Yep.In anger? Yep.Written words that were uncomfortable to admit or put on paper? Yep.Was writing any of that hard?Nope. It was just me in the moment - writing.Ups-And-Downs Will HappenThe truth is that doing what you love might be easier some days than others. Writing might involve feeling different emotions on some days or others, happy feeling ones, angry feeling ones, upset feeling ones… some emotions that feel good, some that don't feel good. This is the human experience. This is life.Yes, you may feel resistance or frustration on occasion. That's human. That's life.But you can learn how to feel these emotions, give them respect and space, then allow them pass. You can write through tears or smiles or laughter.Please don't label writing as hard, because it will start to feel hard and you will create that expectation too.If instead you take it one step at a time, do the work, enjoy the process and all it’s colours within, then it’s an experience. It’s a journey.Is work involved? Yes!Is it always going to be easy? Not necessarily.Is it always going to be hard and a struggle. No. No. No. No. No.Life's what you make it! As is writing.As author, Neil Gaiman, says, “This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until its done. It's that easy, and that hard.” I love that.Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #1 - Read This And You Will ALWAYS Be Inspired To Write#2 - Writers Write - How To Find Your Reliable Creative Flow #3 - 5 Ways To End Writer's Block (Without Bullying Yourself) *********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called: “Get a Writing Accountability Buddy - Here’s How!”Isn’t it funny how sometimes we will show up for something important for other people but not for ourselves?We'll be there to support someone we love in something that is important for them, but when it comes to something that is important to us - like our writing - we can often just not show up for ourselves.I found one awesome and fun way to change this - so you can not only show up for yourself and really take your writing to the next level!Wanna know what it is?Get an accountability buddy!"A what?" you may ask!An accountability buddy is someone on their own creative path who partners with you to help you both stay on track with what you are each creating.An accountability is not a collaborator. You are both carrying on as normal, creating in your own way and on your own timeline, but you have regular "check in" calls to give added accountability to each other to ensure you both STAY on track and speed up your progress.Having an accountability buddy means it's not just you writing solitarily and in isolation. You agree on your calls what you are going to do and having someone to report to gives you added incentive to actually DO your work - especially when you have an accountability buddy who is holding up their end of the bargain and doing their work.It's really cool!Not only is it great to have somebody to report back to about what you’re doing - as well as having the extra encouragement to actually do it - but it's great to have a sense of connection or partnership and it can actually be great fun.My international accountability buddyI had an accountability in Orange County, California when I was beginning to set up My Message Is Love. That’s an 8 hour time difference from where I was living at the time in Dublin, Ireland.We had a Skype call every Tuesday evening my time and on our call we decided the 3 major tasks what we were each going to work and complete on for the following week.We took it further, though. We also did co-working periods (say for 2 or 3 hours) where we would each work at the same time (but in different locations, obviously) on our projects and send each other a check in text at the start and end of the time period for additional accountability.This might sound a bit crazy, but when we promised each other that we were going to do this it added a tangible level of accountability and follow through for us both. Neither of us wanted to be the one who didn't bother doing the work so it made us both really show up in a more committed way for ourselves and each other.So let's get into the nitty-gritty here:- What should you look for in an accountability buddy?- What about the logistics? How often should you meet etc.?- Where might you find an accountability buddy?WHAT SHOULD YOU LOOK FOR IN AN ACCOUNTABILITY BUDDY?Make sure your accountability buddy is committed.An accountability buddy can really be helpful - once you are both committed to showing up for yourselves and each other! You will want to team with somebody who has a similar level of commitment and enthusiasm for their own project, whatever that may be.You want to be confident that they will show up for your calls, be responsive to emails or whatever the guidelines you set are.Basically, it's key that your accountability buddy is really invested in the accountability process.Make sure your accountability buddy is someone you can trust.Really this goes without saying, but it's too important to be left out - trust and confidentiality is paramount. You want to be able to feel you can be completely open and honest with your accountability buddy and them with you.It's ok if your projects are different once your commitment to them is similar.It's great if your accountability buddy is a writer - but it's really not essential. It's more important that you are a match in terms of commitment to your own projects and each other.For example, you may be accountability buddies with someone starting their own business while you are writing a book. You can still talk about your projects with each other and ask for advice and get feedback. In fact, sometimes it's more valuable to get feedback from somebody who understands your goals and intentions with what you are creating but doesn't know the ins and outs of the writing process..WHAT ABOUT THE LOGISTICS? (How often should you meet etc.?)Set your plan and your guidelines.Start with working out what your non-negotiables are in relation to an accountability buddy-ship. (Do you want to partner with someone in the same time zone? Is it important to you that you are both working on a similar project? Or no?)How often do you want to meet? (Weekly? Biweekly? Monthly?)How long do you want to meet for? (Hour long calls? Less? More?)Do you want to structure your meetings? (Maybe splitting the time 50/50 for each person? Or allowing meetings to unfold on the fly?)Do you want to meet in person or online? Do you want to have email contact or restrict contact to your calls?The degree to which you want to check in is up to yourselves. A daily email check in? No communication from week to week? The rules of the game are up to you!Decide what structure is going to support you both best and agree to try it out and see how what works. Adjust until you find what does.When you've agreed the best structure for your partnership you can set a trial period for working together (or you can just agree to work together on an ongoing basis if you prefer).Your first meetingIn your first meeting you can each talk about what you are working on, what your goals are for your projects, your plan of action and where you are in relation to all of this.You can share feedback with each other and have a discussion about all of this and agree what is best for each of you to work on every week - maybe 3 or 5 items.Put your upcoming times and dates in your calendar and stick to them.Have periodic review pointsSet a time, maybe every month or three months or whenever, to check in and see how you're getting on. Make sure you're both happy with your accountability buddy partnership and that you're happy with the progress you're making on what you working on.Change as necessary!If you don't work together that's ok - you can both just find somebody else that you each suit.WHERE MIGHT YOU FIND AN ACCOUNTABILITY BUDDY?If you're looking online you can start with your social media - you can post that you are looking for an accountability buddy and ask your friends/followers if that's something any of them would want or anyone they know would want?Join writers groups on Facebook or Linkedin or MeetUp and invite applications for accountability buddies in there.Want someone locally? You could place ads in local coffee shops or writers centers or similar.Talk to everyone you know and tell them what you're thinking of.You never know where your accountability might come from. You might find yourself with a list of potential accountability buddies to choose from!So that’s the bones of it! The whole process can be as formal or as relaxed as you want.It's fun and it works!(One time my business accountability buddy and I went to the gym simultaneously on at 6pm Irish time (10am PST). I went to my Dublin gym and she went to her California gym. Sounds a little mad, but I would have definitely not gone to a 6 p.m. dance class on a Friday evening if I hadn’t promised her the previous night that I would do it!)Having an accountability buddy can add an extra dimension of connection, growth and fun to your writing - especially when you find a great one!Good luck with it and please do come back to tell me how you got on!Enjoy!Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #3 - 5 Ways To End Writer's Block (Without Bullying Yourself)#8 - Writing A Book Is Easier Than You Think!#16 - Book Creation - A Simple Step-By-Step Strategy*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called “5 Ways To End Writer's Block (Without Bullying Yourself!)”We’ve all done it, right? We've all tried to force ourselves to write or get something finished.Wouldn’t it be so much easier if you could just write consistently and easily…?Well, it just so happens that you can!End Writer's Block Without Bullying YourselfThere is absolutely no need to bully yourself to write because creativity flows when you allow it and make space for it and because that is the nature of creativity! Creative - and writing - is about expansion and ideas and inspiration. Forcing is about contraction and tension. So how can we expect one thing - creativity and ease - to come from the other (pressuring and tension)?But what if you have a deadline? Or need to write consistently without having a long drawn out dance with creativity?Read on to find out...1. Clear out your destructive or unsupportive habitsA destructive or unsupportive habit may be expecting yourself to write after little or no sleep. It might mean working for hours at a time without a break until your head hurts.Or maybe a destructive habit is giving yourself any excuse to avoid writing rather than actually sitting down and committing to the process.We all know what our particular bugbear is!Whatever it is - Dump it!Commit to replacing every crappy habit with a brand new supportive one!Don’t overwhelm yourself. Just take one habit at a time and switch it around. When it’s nicely in place, move on to the next one.2. Remember that writing is a choice and let it be funRather than feeling under pressure and complaining about writing - remember that writing is a choice; something you're choosing to do. Acknowledge how fortunate you are that you get to do these things in life.Remember to enjoy it!What would help it be more fun or easeful?Would it be fun to write in a park surrounded by people relaxing? Or in a coffee shop surrounded by people working? Or on your own nicely cocooned in a room in your home?Would it be fun to dress up for your writing? Or have healthy snacks to hand?All of this may sound trivial or silly but it's unbelievable how much of a difference the details make to us in our habits and our mindsTry them out!3. Get accountableStart by being accountable to yourself - give yourself something to work towards. This could be making a choice about what you are going to work on in a specific period of writing. Or it could be promising yourself a reward of some kind (lunch with a friend, a movie) when your writing is done.Need more accountability? Get an accountability buddy and help keep each other on track with your projects. Tell each other what you are going to commit to working on each week and have a check in.Or you could join or start a writing group in your area or online.4. Make it non-negotiableWhen you want to create a habit of consistency it's important to prove to yourself that you are committed to this. This means creating habits that really support you in your writing and that you are happy to commit to showing up for.Bring light and fun and LOVE to your writing. More play and joy!5. One step at a timeDon't worry if you fall off track on a day. Just re-commit and take one step at a time. As with everything, test and adjust until you find a routine that absolutely works for you..It might take a little time to find your feet and find your flow so keep your motivation up! Give yourself a big hug for showing up like this.It might help you to check out a blog I recently shared about finding your flow in your writing.Remember that life is for living and it supposed to be fun!Taking the time to set up some supportive writing habits now can make for flowing, consistent writing in the long term.Enjoy!Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE ********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #4 - Follow Through With Writing Like Never Before - Here's How! #7 - “I Should Write A Book!" Yes, You Definitely Should!! Here Are 7 Reasons Why... #9 - Your Audience Is Watching! 4 Tips On How To Be Ready…*********

Hello and welcome!This episode is called “Writers Write - How To Find Your Reliable Creative Flow”.Sometimes I hear writers talk about their writing process and it sounds a little bit like hell!!You know how some writers talk about having to force themselves to sit down and write whether they want to or not! That struggle is real and part of being a writer. That so frequently writers are tormented, isolated creatures.It’s like: “Writing is PAIN and Struggle.”Hmmm….I’m not impressed!! .Here’s what I believe: WRITING IS WONDERFULWriting can be pleasurable and will flow if you let it.You never have to force writing because writing can be reliable and consistent.Writing about difficult or painful things can feel cathartic or a release - free of struggle.Just let Life lead the way.Wanna know how that works?Flowers bloom, writers write…You see the creative process in evidence all around you. Grass doesn't strain to grow, flowers don't bully themselves to bloom. Life unfolds In a flowing way.Writing is a creative process.Creative processes flow. You can't force or fake this flow but you can encourage it. It's the nature of life and creativity.You can create the space where this flow loves to happen. You can create the habits that support this flow.Doesn’t that sound good?Let me tell you, my kindred writer friend, how to find your writing flow…1. Set the sceneYou know what creative flow feels like - when everything falls into place, when you lose time doing what you love, when sparks of inspiration come as if by magic…!To encourage the blossoming of a flower you would plant it in a space with plenty of light and water, with rich soil and at the perfect time of year. You would create the optimal conditions for blooming. Blooming is then the “next step”, natural and easy.So let's apply this to writing:To encourage creative flow in writing you might want to create a writing space where you won't be disturbed and choose a time when you know you most like to write. You might make sure you have plenty of sleep so you are rested and nourished.You can be well-read and researched in the topic that you are writing about, so you are prepared.All of this supports your writing process. Making a habit of all of this means that you prove to yourself that you are committed. All of these things are foundations for your writing and flow.2. Watch your wordsNo matter what you have said about writing up to now, it’s time to choose words that support you (not reinforce struggle).Those phrases “It's hard” or “ I am under pressure to write this” or whatever - they don’t help with consistency and flow. How could they? They even sound and feel pressure filled!It’s not about lying to yourself, but it is about telling a different story:“I’m taking a new approach with my writing…”“I’m ready for writing to feel pleasurable and easy.””Let’s see how this goes.”Be willing to let writing be easy for you and for this flow to work for you.It's like Shakespeare said: ”Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so”.So much of our experience comes down to our perspective so choose your words carefully and make sure they support you.3. Pay attention to your intuitionA writer’s intuitive powers are a key part of creativity.Listen to what Life is telling you - pay attention to sensations in your body or to any ideas that pop to mind. Make notes as you write, knowing that whether or not the inspirations you have fit within the piece you are writing they could fit well in a different place or at a different stage.Value these intuitive hits and inspiration!4. Time away from writingBeing creative is not like doing another task like painting a room or clearing out the garage. Yes, some people are able to sit down and write for 8 hours a day 5 days a week, but for most people writing is different.You must feel inspired to write something inspired.In the creative process the time you spend soaking up inspiration, processing ideas in your head, figuring out the order something goes in… these things aren't necessarily figured out sitting at a computer.The time you spend going for a walk by the sea or doing something to take a break from writing is every bit as important as the time you spend doing the actual writing work.Allow yourself this space. You’re not a machine! Know that it is part of finding your flow.5. Be patience and persistentSo much comes down to the habits we create for ourselves, the approaches we take to these habits and how we handle resistance.If you feel resistance to writing you can either do some gentle questioning and see what that resistance is about (clue: usually it’s something related to fear!)You can take a break if you need to or you can sit down and start to write anyway - even for 5 minutes - and see how that feels. See if the writing draws you in further or see whether it's time to step away for a little while.When you are getting into the habit of finding your flow just like anything else it can take a little bit of practice. Be patient in this. Adopt an attitude of curiosity and stay light within it (rather than being very serious or controlling of it). 6. See where life leads you...Writing consistently involves creating a habit that supports you, showing up to do the work, listening to your intuition about what to write, making sure you take time away from writing to feel the inspiration of life and to fuel yourself so that you can come back to your writing with renewed energy.It's a balance and a process and it's unique to every single writer.It's less about decisions made arbitrarily in your head and more about discovering how you work bestwith the creative energy of life to write what is being communicated to and through you for the world.It's a beautiful process and one to be savoured and enjoyed!Enjoy!Aoifexo********* Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that! You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-course If you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoife MY MESSAGE IS LOVE********* Note: You might like these episodes too: #1 - Read This And You Will ALWAYS Be Inspired To Write #3 - 5 Ways To End Writer's Block (Without Bullying Yourself) #13 - How To Not Care What People Think About You (Or Your Work)*********

Hello and welcome!Today’s episode is called “How To Always Be Inspired To Write”Creating a habit of writing - and knowing what to write about - begins right here, right now in your life.We all have busy lives. Often we are so busy and task-laden that we live a little mechanically - either working our way through a to-do list or doing things we feel we have to do or should do, more than the things we really want to. (Know what I mean?)Meanwhile life is rich with LIFE! Life is abundant with beautiful prompts and inspiration for your writing in every moment - and all you need to do is notice!It’s a bit like being both an observer and a participant in your life.All you need to do is become a little more present and be a little more aware of what is happening in random moments and then write about them.Write for the writing practice or because you want to express yourself or because writing can help others - or just for the pure fun of writing!No pressure, just flow.Wanna know how?Here are 6 ideas to help you notice the multitude of writing prompts and sparks for your creativity available to you every moment:1. Start in this moment.Often we spend a lot of time in our lives “working towards” things - getting ready for our day or preparing food to eat or working on a project. Life, however, is happening always in the now. It’s every bit as much the "working towards" as the end result. The journey is the destination.Great writers can capture the details of simple, everyday moments - the beginning of that is being present in these moments to really take them in.What is happening in this moment? What is “hanging in the air”? What is unsaid?You can practice by periodically stopping throughout your day to really ground yourself in the moment and notice and be aware.2. Pay attention to your physical senses.Sound, sight, touch, taste, smell.Tune your attention to what you are hearing, seeing, what you are touching and how that feels, what something tastes like, what you are smelling in a moment...Can you describe these sensations?What snippets of conversations can you hear around you vying for your attention?What about your favourite smells? What stories or memories do they trigger for you?What sensations are most dominant for you?3. Pay attention to your body.Your body gives amazingly accurate and intuitive information and guidance about how you feel.Notice what situations generate different feelings in your body - where in your body are you most aware of? what kind of sensations are you experiencing? Can you describe them?What does feeling tired feel like? Can you describe happy feelings? How are happy feelings different to each other?Tune in to your intuition, your gut instinct. How do you register intuition in your body? In feelings of tension? Where in your body?When you focus on these things do any memories or stories or ideas come to mind?4. Notice what you do.Write about your actions or your habits.What do you habitually do? Why?What do you avoid? Why? Can you write a little piece about this?What do you make your habits mean? About you? About your life? About what you can/can’t do? Could you write something about this that would be helpful for a reader?Tell a story from your day - maybe as an illustration of a different point.5. Notice your thinking.Notice your reasoning, your judgements, the thoughts in your mind.Notice your excuses.Notice your beliefs (otherwise known as the thoughts you keep thinking!)Why you think what you think and believe what you believe?What do you feel inspired to write about from these things?6. Enjoy the silence.Take time to be silent. Take time to be still and to simply breathe.Meditation is a great way to be still and silent in the moment. Meditation means different things to different people - going for a walk in nature or sitting in silence. Other people may prefer to do an activity to create a feeling of meditation - like gardening or playing an instrument or doing a sport.Be in the silence and write about your experience.Make a practice of being an active participant and observer in your day today and make note of all the beautiful moments you can write about and the interesting stories they inspire.Then pick one and write about it! (I would love it if you tell me what you choose and write about!)Enjoy your life! Enjoy your writing!Random conversations, colors, phrases... whatever the sparks may be! Enjoy them, appreciate them and love writing about them.Aoifexo*********Want to write a non-fiction or self help book? I’ve got a gift for you! A FREE writing course designed to help you do just that!You can get that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/free-writing-courseIf you’d prefer to work with me 1:1 on your writing you can find out more about that here: http://www.mymessageislove.com/work-with-meFor any other enquiries, email me at: copy@mymessageislove.comAoifeMY MESSAGE IS LOVE*********Note:You might like these episodes too:#2 - Writers Write - How To Find Your Reliable Creative Flow#3 - 5 Ways To End Writer's Block (Without Bullying Yourself)#8 - Writing A Book Is Easier Than You Think!*********